#i hope this answers the question well... i can clarify further if need be
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According to the responses to the 2021 American Community Survey available on the US Census Bureau website, approximately 13% of Americans self reported some form of disability. Initially, I thought that this was a high value simply because there's so little perception of it in media, unless that media is specifically designed to show people with disabilities. But then I looked a bit deeper into it. Nearly 50%(it was like 48 point something) of those who reported a disability reported an ambulatory disability. Given this figure, I wonder if the percentage is underreported. A lot of mental health and disability has only been accepted in mainstream media in recent years. There are also questions I have like:Do correctible vision deficiencies count as disabilities? I would argue yes. I wear glasses. It's not something I think about a lot, but without my glasses, I would be hard-pressed to function normally within society. They are an accommodation. Yet in a group of 25-30 people(the class i was in when i was thinking about it), I easily counted at least 5 who wore glasses. Obviously, that's not a large enough sample size to make any kind of assumption off of, but I think I could probably find similar numbers if i looked in other places. Part of me doubts that I was marked as having a vision difficulty despite having and wearing glasses. And it's made me think and wonder if 13% wasn't that large of a number after all. I mean, it's a massive population. It's 42 million people, but I wonder if the number is even larger than that. What do you think?
So, I think it's complex. I'm not saying you are wrong in your investigation, but due to the personal nature of disability, it makes me wonder, too. I think the answer will be just as complex, is what I am saying.
Simultaneously, disability is very common, but the idea of being "unable" to live or be productive makes it so that disability becomes a taboo. It leads you to believe that disability is uncommon, or only exists in the "extremes". I do think that contributes to the perception people have of their disabilities, especially in being in denial about their disabilities disabling them.
I think you can generally say that certain things, like eye vision, can be disabilities, as long as we also recognize that it exists on a spectrum. I also have eye glasses, but if you ask me what I'm disabled by, I probably wouldn't bring that up unless it is relevant, in the narrow ways it is for me personally. I think that's part of why the ambulatory statistic is high. There are many situations where your disability doesn't really... disable you, but you're still disabled because there are aspects of your life you either cannot do, or you need help in order to do.
Thirteen percent is a large number, but when you consider the vast array of disabilities, the number of veterans and elderly, and (like you said) the number of people likely either in denial about their disability or the people for whom education doesn't include disability, the number could very well be thirteen or higher.
It's interesting that ableism is so ubiquitous, yet so many of us are disabled (with or without our knowledge).
#ask#disability#disability advocacy#i think a lot of people are caught up in the this is a disability/this isn't a disability binary that we fail to see the complexities...#...anything can disable you given the 'right' circumstances...#...the fact that my right leg is up to half an inch shorter than my other leg is what causes my pain...#...but my vision is less of a disability for me personally. my prescription most likely needs to be stronger but i know i can manage...#...so if you have me pick which disables me more i would pick my fuck up of a skeleton....#...but that could very well change! disability is NOT stagnant...#...and we need to let disability be complex...#...so i think the percentage will never truly be accurate because its so complex and we can't ask every single person for their entire story#anything can become a disability if the right circumstances in an individual's life present itself#and these circumstances can be genetic/environmental/financial/socioeconomical WHATEVER it may be#i hope this answers the question well... i can clarify further if need be
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omg hi it’s bi!anon lol would u maybe write for robin or nancy from stranger things?? whichever speaks to u more
maybe reader is popular and has done the whole “drunk kissing my female friends bc it’s funny” thing and robin/nancy has never kissed a girl before so the reader offers to be their first👀
omg...bi anon do i hear u. and i need my bestie to see this. @phefics , i listened to 'headache' by grouper while writing this, and decided i wanted to deliver the exact opposite vibes of that.
first time for everything | (robin buckley x reader
contains: sexual awakening, afab!reader, friends to lovers
the party was always at steve's, for obvious reasons. steve left you to your usual antics, banking on the fact that you'd come out of the closet sooner or later.
"no way!" robin says, shaking her head. "yes, way," he disagrees. robin has been childhood friends with you for as long as you can remember, and steve knows there has to be more to it. his supporting argument is that of vickie, who paused fast times at-
"yes, steve-i know, i know!" she protests, nursing the drink she hasn't even taken a sip of, the liquid sloshing around in her solo cup. she's debating taking a sip of it now since he's babbling, but she opts against it. "but she's not like that. she's just..i don't know, having fun?" she shrugs, wincing. her argument is weak, and she knows it, but hopeful nonetheless. steve dismisses her with a wave of his hand, a humored expression on his features.
about an hour later, you've made your rounds-kissed nearly every girl in the room that would let you.
and then you make your way to robin.
she looks like a deer in headlights, sliding over on the couch seconds before you flop onto it, scooching in next to her. "hi." you say. "hi," she responds. your cup is empty, and you place it on the coffee table in front of you both. "why d'you never let me kiss you, buckley?" you ask, sing-songy. "been friends with me forever," you say, "feels like a rite of passage."
robin could puke up her nerves.
"uh, well-you've never like, asked me, or anything-"
"but you avoid me." you point out, finger wagging.
as if robin didn't feel like a deer in headlights enough, she certainly looks it; pale as a ghost with eyes blown wide. "i don't mean to," she says, acknowledging that it's a confession. "i just..i dunno, man." she laughs halfheartedly, and you join in, soft giggles spilling from you as you lean into the couch. your side is pressed against the cushions, turned so you can face her. her back is firm against the cushions, glancing over at you.
"dunno what?" you ask, and she shrugs, mouth agape with a growing grin. "listen, not to slut shame-like, at all-" she quickly clarifies, sitting up more as she turns to face you, too. "you just..kiss..everyone?" she poses it as a question, though both of you already know the answer.
you nod.
"and..i just..didn't wanna be a party trick, y'know?" she grimaces, bracing for verbal impact that she's certain will come from your mouth. but you shrug.
she's right.
"i guess i never thought of it that way." you say, and suddenly it all seems so confusing. "but..boys get to kiss whoever they want.." you say, and robin laughs. "yeah, man. fuck the patriarchy, right?" she says, her frivolous humor charming you. it's only then that you notice how her eyes look, beautifully hazed when she's not blowing her pupils out from an anticipatory scolding due to her antics. suddenly, everything else seems like white noise.
"but..i kiss who i want, too." you say, and robin deflates, knowing she hasn't made the cut. "f'course you do!" she quickly encourages, faux perkiness embodying her. "and you should, i mean-" she rambles, but you quickly cut her off. "i mean," you clarify, "girls."
robin freezes, and she tries to stop you before you can get any further, knowing she happened to get lucky with how steve reacted to her coming out; knowing that he was the exception. "don't-" she quickly hushes, clasping her hands gently over your own, that rest in your lap. it sends a flurry of butterflies to nestle in the pit of your stomach, and you exhale shakily through your nose. "robin, i mean it." you say, sincerely. your buzz has certainly worn off, and you can feel each nerve trembling in your body
"i want to kiss you."
"..oh," she says, feeling like what she can only imagine steve felt like, but better. you cup her face, and she mirrors you, rubbing her thumb along your cheek. it's the closest to heaven she's ever felt, and she's terrified she'll never feel it again. "please, don't make a mistake-" she tries, and you press your lips to hers.
it's gentle; soft and slow, tender and fragile. robin's fingers rake gently along the side of your head, tucking your hair behind your ear. you lean into her touch, nearly sitting in her lap as she cradles you closer. your lips part, only to meet one, two..three more times, molding together as if they're made for each other. everyone is too occupied with their own lives, own conversations, to even pay attention to the two of you.
except steve; who glances over as he passes, a softened expression that harbors pride.
you finally part from robin, still tangled in her arms as you study her features. "i don't think any of it was a party trick.." you say, sincerely. robin's brows furrow, curious. "i think i was just..working up the nerve to actually kiss the girl i've wanted." you confess, cheeks warm and flushed. "yeah?" she coos, a grin growing on her features as she continues to rake her fingers gently through your hair. "i've never kissed a girl. ever." she confesses, "so..i guess you could say i've been waiting for you, too." your heart feels like it grows three sizes, threatening to pummel out of your chest.
"be with me," you say, and who is she to refuse? "always have been." she says, pulling you closer as you both melt into the couch. "always will be."
#yeah sooooo i did this#god#maple writes robin!#robin buckley#robin buckley smut#robin buckley fluff#robin buckley moodboard#robin buckley mood board#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley x reader smut#robin buckley x reader fluff#robin buckley x you#robin buckley x y/n#robin buckley x female reader#robin buckley imagine#robin buckley imagines#robin buckley icons#robin buckley st#robin buckley stranger things#stranger things fluff#stranger things smut
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a memory, chapter 1 (tom riddle).
pairing: tom riddle x female reader
warnings: nothing hectic, it’s a slow burn beginning, but the foundation of it is needed for more important parts later.
summary: y/n find the diary of tom riddle and becomes curious when she finds that the diary is unlike any book shes encountered before as well as a man from the past who leaves her with even more questions.
word count: 1.3k
a/n: Happy reading, hope you enjoy!
minors/ageless blogs dni.
series masterlist
masterlist
Funny, the damage a silly little diary can do, especially in the hands of a mindless girl such as yourself.
The diary was found in the restricted section of the library that no one ventured into. You had got a hold of it when curiosity got the best of you. Hogwarts allowed you the privilege to use studying to explore topics not taught in the syllabus as one of the students who was furthering their studies.
There was nothing special about it, just a normal diary, but when your fingers first brushed against them, you felt a jolt of an unknown emotion that made you hastily grab the diary. The pages were blank, no writing, no drawings. Nothing.
How peculiar.
You made your way out of the library, taking your usual route back to your houses common room. However, you couldn’t shake off the feeling as if you were being watched.
You stopped walking as you turned down a dark hallway, waiting to see if someone was following you, but there were no sound of footsteps. You dismissed the feeling to your sleep deprivation and carried on to your common room.
So, you sat at the study table in your common room while your housemates slept soundly. You grabbed your quill and dipped it in the ink. You wrote your full name onto the first page and watched as your writing disappeared. It didn’t phase you since you expected it to be some kind of magical diary. However, it was what next appeared that baffled you.
Hello y/f/n.
You took in a deep breath and thought for a moment before writing again.
Is this an enchantment diary?
Maybe, maybe not.
Your brows furrowed. It seemed like it might’ve been like one of those items that Fred and George sell, but then why would it be in the restrict section of the Hogwarts library?
Why was this book hidden in the restricted section of the library?
The words disappeared like before.
So that it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.
You inhaled sharply and decided that was enough for today. Your curiosity got you this far, but you knew better than to dabble in this further. You closed the book and put it back into the pile of books and began your usual research.
In the following days, your mind couldn’t get rid of the thought of wanting to find out more about the diary. It’s as though you’re under a sort of spell of desire for it.
You found yourself in Professor Remus’ classroom. He seemed to be busy marking papers.
“Y/n, what do I owe the pleasure?” he said with a kind smile.
“Evening, professor. I was hoping to ask you a few questions about a recent topic I’m researching,” you said as nonchalantly as you could.
Professor Remus nodded in reply and set the papers in his hand aside.
“What questions do you have for me?” you walked to his desk and set your books aside.
You weren’t going to show him the diary, but you could work your way around finding out information.
“I was curious if it were possible to enchant a book, specifically a diary,” you explained.
“Enchant it in what way?” he asked slightly confused.
“Perhaps maybe having it reply to whatever is written inside of it,” you said to clarify.
He wondered for a moment. There were many books which he encountered that were enchanted, some even being textbooks used at Hogwarts like the Care of Magical Creatures textbook.
“There are books which are enchanted, but not in the way you mentioned,”
You sigh at his reply, not gaining anymore answers that the ones you had before.
“Alright, thank you, professor. For clarifying,” you said with a smile and nodded as a way of saying goodbye.
Just as you were about to exit the classroom, you heard his voice call out.
“I know you have an interest in researching topics, y/n, but if you find yourself too far in, it can be harmful,” he advised.
“I know, professor,” you smiled and continued on your way.
That night, you sat at the very same desk as before with the diary in front of you. Once again, you took the quill which was dipped in ink and wrote in the diary.
What are the origins of this book?
They disappear as usual and a few moments later you get a reply.
I don’t believe I can tell you…
You sigh in frustration and put the quill aside, just then, more words appear.
… but I can show you.
Your brows furrow in confusion and concern. Feeling like you have reached your point of research for the night, you went to close the diary when all of a sudden bright flashes of light came from the book and you felt yourself being pulled towards it.
You closed your eyes in preparation for what may come, but you felt nothing. You opened your eyes carefully to see yourself in the hallways of Hogwarts, but it seemed so different than what you’re used to seeing.
A shadow appears on the wall in front of you, and you quickly hide in an adjoined hallway. You heard the footsteps approaching, the figure came into view. It was a young man who seemed slightly older than you. His robes were of a different style but had the emblem of Slytherin.
The young man stopped his walking looked as if he was checking the hallways, when you looked more closely at his robes, you saw that he had a badge, a prefect badge. He started to walk in your direction, which caused you to walk backwards, but another voice interrupted both your movements.
“Tom,” a familiar voice called after him.
“Yes, professor?” Tom answered.
The source of the familiar voice came into view, and you were shocked to see Professor Dumbledore, but he seemed to be much younger than he is now.
“I think it would be okay for you to retire back to your living quarters,” Dumbledore advised.
Tom nodded his head in agreeance. “Very well, professor. I’m doing one last check around the halls, professor,”
Dumbledore nodded and bid Tom a goodnight.
You watched as Tom waited for Dumbledore to walk away before he continued on his way towards the hallway you were in. Which reminded you that you were trying to hide from him. However, as he walked towards you, he walked on as if he never saw you.
This further baffled you, but as your curiosity grew, you silently followed him. He walked to the end of the hallway and waited. The wall started to change, slowly revealing a door that was not there before.
He stepped inside and was about to close it, but he stopped and seemed as though he was looking right at you. Fear spread throughout you, though that was short lived when Tom closed the door.
As you took a step to walk forward, you felt the same feeling as when the diary consumed you. A bright flash of light appeared, your eyes closed and when you opened them again, you were in your common room, sat at the study table with the diary in front of you.
You were trying to compose yourself after what you’d just witnessed. Did you dose off and dream the whole thing? Was your lack of sleep catching up with you? what spell would cause such an effect?
All these questions jumbled into your mind, and you were about to stand up and gather your things, but then words appeared on the page in front of you.
Now you know who I am.
#tom riddle#tom riddle series#tom riddle fanfiction#tom riddle fanfic#tom riddle x you#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle x reader#older!tom riddle#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter fanfic
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Drabble: "do you still like me" "it's 2 in the morning"
“Lou. Wake up.”
Being rudely pulled from the blissful arms of sleep, yet unwilling to be awake, Louis frowned, eyes still scrunched shut. Harry? He merely hummed in response, hoping that Harry would take the hint and let him sleep.
“Hey.” Nope. Harry was whispering loudly, mere inches away from him. “I've a question.”
Groaning into the pillow, he grunted out, “what?”
A beat of silence. That only served to further awaken him. And then-
“Do you still like me?”
Louis’ eyes flew open, if only so he could shoot the boy next to him an incredulous look. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark, he turned to the opposite side for a moment, squinting at the neon digits, before turning back to face Harry, face lit up only by the dull light from the clock.
“Harry. It's two in the morning.”
“Yes, but do you?”
Louis stared at him. What the fuck. Harry stared back at him, blinking owlishly.
“Haz. I'm literally married to you.”
A few seconds dragged, before he caught the very corner of Harry's lips twitching inadvertently at that. Why this absolute little-
“You're not answering the question,” he whined, actually having the audacity to pout at him. As if this entire scenario wasn't ridiculous. Louis was half sure he was dreaming.
“You woke me up. At 2 am. To confirm that I, your husband, still likes you.”
Harry nodded seriously, though his eyes betrayed him. “It's a very important question.”
“Goodnight, Harry,” Louis deadpanned, closing his eyes for good measure, trying to bite back a helplessly endeared smile at the loud protest he was expecting anyway.
“Louuuu, no wait!” There were hands tugging at his arms, trying to tug him close, keep him from going back to sleep. He fake snored obnoxiously in response, grinning at the snort it drew from Harry.
“Since you're not answering, I'm gonna have to take it as confirmation that you do not in fact still like me.”
Sighing in mock exasperation, Louis opened his eyes again, pulling Harry close and throwing one leg around him so he was trapped. Not that the boy was complaining, if the breathy chuckles were anything to go by.
“Well, we cannot have that, can we love?” he asked, squeezing him in his arms lightly.
“No we cannot.”
“Mostly because you will throw a tantrum till I answer and clarify that yes, I do like you very much, still.”
“I do not throw tantrums excuse me- I am not a child!” Harry gasped, swatting at his chest playfully, then snuggling in close.
“Oh? Yeah no, of course, of course,” he pacified, thumbing at his soft cheeks. “You are a baby.”
“Heyyyyy-”
“My baby.”
That shut him up quickly, protest dying on lips that curved into a wide, pleased smile. He didn't have to see it, but he could tell he was sporting a tiny blush, feeling the warmth under his fingertips.
“That all you needed, huh,” Louis murmured softly, leaning in to peck his lips chastely. “Just some attention at 2 in the morning. Why are you even awake, hmm?”
Harry shrugged. “Couldn't sleep. Because someone convinced me to sleep in awfully late yesterday, so my routines gone to shit.”
“Excuse me if I just wanted to cuddle and stay in bed with my favourite person for a while longer,” Louis grumbled, “you need attention at 2 am, I need attention at 10 am.”
“I didn't need attention, I asked a very important question!”
“Sure, babe,” he allowed, then cupped his cheeks. Because really, who was he but a man helpless not to humour his husband because he loved him so much?
“To answer your question, yes I still like you. The most, even.”
Twin dimples made their appearance. He would be the death of him someday.
“In fact, I actually love you the most, even”
Harry gasped dramatically. “You do?? That's a relief. I love you too.”
Rolling his eyes, Louis tugged him close till he could tuck his head beneath his chin. “Glad we sorted that out. Now sleep or I'm revoking my statement.”
Harry didn't protest, seemingly content, and Louis closed his eyes as their breathing evened out. In a few minutes, sleep clung to his closed lids once more.
“Lou. Do you think I'm pretty?”
#this is based on a screenshot I saw#my drabbles#larry drabbles#larry ficlet#my writing#hlcreators#hljournal#hlsource#hledit#trackinghome#trackinghappily#larry#larry stylinson
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heh im happy to answer questions!! :D im actually not out to anyone online as muslim and so this is incredibly fun for me to talk about sgjkgh
metatron! now i have to be honest, i had never really heard of metatron till.. couple weeks ago when i watched s2! and it seems that this isn't an uncommon thing too, there's much more description of metatron in jewish literature than islamic, his name isn't mentioned in the quran at all iirc, but given the other similarities in religion i thought to look it up and found that! he exists! but i don't know what the whole.. beyond the veil thing entails, really. 😔 not even sure what this "veil" is. regarding metatron i have basically no knowledge at all. we're all learning here!
but! the free will discussion... oof. honestly this is a big topic. as it should be, but a lot of young muslim kids ask this question of.. if everything is predetermined, how can God judge us for our mistakes? we're told we have autonomy and choice to do what we want (which is what makes us human.) but Allah has also predetermined everything. uh. so [shrug] the analogy that stuck with me most was that if a child is given two options for food by their parent, the parent will know what they are going to pick, but they still have the choice. its flawed like all analogies but it is a good framework i think. there's also the thing about Allah knowing everything that will happen but not actively enforcing it? its definitely confusing. i hope i made any sense at all ;-; again happy to answer any questions if that has raised any but i can't.. promise i'll give good answers sjkfhgh [gestures at these paragraphs]
israfil! well, judgement and resurrection are very closely linked. iirc, israfil is the only being (along with god) to know when the day of judgement will happen. he'll blow the famous trumpet once to end all life on earth except himself, and blow it again to resurrect everyone that has ever lived. nods. the second coming doesn't trigger this, but it does signify the end of days.
i hope that answered everything? sorry this was so long 😭 in my defence . uh. i have no defence. my apologies. but thank you for asking all this!! its rare that ppl show interest in my little special interest <3 - 🌙
hello again 🌙 anon!!!✨ well in that case im very honoured you are sharing this with me, anonymously or not, thank you!! thank you for your follow-up ask too; hope you don't mind that i answer both on this post? keeps everything neat and tidy, especially if i need to refer back to it at any point!!!
i was going to put the rest of this ask under a cut but fuck it the below 2nd ask is SO IMPORTANT.
re: metatron, i did do a little bit of reading on their mention in the quran and it reads that uzair (who is possibly ezra?) is also the metatron...? not a question necessarily, just a mark of slight confusion that i need to look into further, haha!!!
free will: that's such a beautiful analogy... i guess it may not necessarily be a predetermination of only one path, but multiple different ones, and it's our choice which one we choose, even if god knows which one will be chosen. but that god doesn't tell us what will happen when we make that choice, because that would influence our decision, and as you said - either way doesn't enforce it. that i believe crosses over into some catholic thoughts on predestination, im not sure, but either way would strike the balance between god being omniscient, and her creations having free will - making the two compatible.
israfil: brilliant, thank you for clarifying, especially where the second coming might link to the day of judgement!!! follow-up q, i read a bit more about the day, and where (if ive read this right), each person had their book of deeds that supports whether they go to heaven or to hell. sort of related: where does the book of life fit into this in Islam? is each person's deeds reviewed, handed back to them in whichever appropriate hand, and they are then scratched from the BOL?
stars: that's... that's not brainrot talking, that's bloody ✨illumination!!!✨ wow!!! even if the star shower scene was before demons existed, the suggestion that the shower started after the angel who crowley was (AWCW) began to ask questions - something that firmly foreshadowed the fall - and given that aziraphale was the one to make him start questioning/then hurriedly cautioned him against asking them... the symbology of AWCW not necessarily protecting him from things that chase away demons, but protecting him from being implicated in whatever punishment was to come??? protecting him from the fall??? my GOD, im ASCENDING. oh my god oh my god oh my god
(wait --- going by the above from 🌙 anon, was i potentially somewhat right in this and this??? like obviously not exactly right, but that aziraphale was himself implicated in the fall, and AWCW protected him/defended him? FUCK)
#EPIPHANIES EVERYWHERE#🌙ANON YOU HAVE MY HEART FOR BRINGING THIS TO ME#im at work and literally sat in shock at the last bit#im stunned struck dumb#good omens#ask#the fall/the great war spec#pre-fall aziraphale spec#AWCW spec#metatron spec#second coming/last judgement theory#raphael spec
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Submitted via Google Form:
I was wondering about how can I have primitive (like stone age? or maybe further a long if required) cultures in my story build large or tall structures. My idea is that a structure like what you see of Stonehenge would actually be remnants of 200m tall towers or something. Would love to go as high as possible, so any ideas on that? Also I suppose what sort of rock type would be needed? It's an entirely fictional place so earth stuff can be changed, but perhaps not drastically - I mean it's still an earth like planet.
Addy: The first question I have is the societal pressure that is pushing them to build up instead of out. Generally speaking, walkable cities without elevators top out at around 5 stories, since going up a lot of stairs takes time and is pretty annoying, especially if you're having to do so consistently throughout the day. Let's call it 15 meters, or around 50 ft. If that's carved into rock (ala Mesa Verde or Derinkuyu), you can get that kind of height out of stone, but anything with multiple stories is generally going to require either A) some kind of woodworking capability or B) pyramid structures. Put simply, rock is heavy, and it does not do well in long, flat sections like floors. That's why we put rebar in concrete, and why we have supporting beams underneath concrete floor systems. Woodworking lets you build a more sophisticated structure (more interior space), while a pyramid structure gets taller.
One thing that building up does is it allows for a higher population density, which is excellent for cities. Cities (and permanent buildings in general) mean agriculture, which means that we're looking at the Neolithic period (or later). That's also going to give you organized labor to pull from, as well as possible written records (not always, but usually).
We see plenty of two-story buildings in the Neolithic and Bronze Age periods, such as the Palace of Nestor (Bronze Age) and Çatalhöyük (Neolithic). Looking beyond that, ziggurats get us even taller. Chogha Zanbil is a wonderful example of a large ziggurat. It had five levels and was ~53m tall by ~105m wide. A ziggurat is made by creating an artificial platform of mud brick, and then building successively smaller platforms on top of that. They're a form of step pyramid, and got to be quite tall.
The largest (and tallest) buildings are, by far, the pyramids of Egypt. The Great Pyramid of Giza (aka Pyramid of Khufu) was originally ~146m tall and ~230m on a side.
Often, when looking up settlements, we see mentions of settlement layers or levels. Çatalhöyük has 18, I believe. These aren't multiple stories of buildings, but are instead closer to bulldozing a site and just building right on top of the old stuff. That's how you end up with, say, Roman ruins under various European cities. They just got built over. Since you're looking at height, I wanted to go ahead and clarify that for you.
Overall, 200 meters is a lot. The Burj Khalifa is five times the height of the Pyramid of Khufu, and weighs about ⅙th of it. Stone is heavy, and building with it is, frankly, a lot of work. They had the advantage of canals and boats to bring up all the stone to the site, and it still took them 20 years. Now, mind you, many ancient structures were built over the course of generations. Ziggurats, temples, offices of administration… things are and were built over a long period of time (la Sagrada Familia is a good modern example).
If you want there to be minimal remains, well, free stone is free stone! Many ancient structures have been taken down that way.
I don't have a solid answer for you, but I hope this gives you a few ideas to think about.
Feral: If you want tall and ancient, look to the mountains. Literally. Raqmu, now known as Petra, in Jordan, is partially carved into a canyon. Probably not in its known form until the 3rd century BCE, it could still serve as inspiration for your worldbuilding. The cliff-dwellings of the Pueblo peoples in North and Central America could also act as inspiration for you. Although probably not built until the 12th century CE, caves are probably some of the first humans ever inhabited given the natural shelter they provide.
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Teacher’s Pet - Part 5
(Dewey Finn x Reader)
Hello my darlings! How are you all doing?! I hope all is well.
It feels so surreal to be back after all this time with a new chapter, but here we are! I’m so glad I was inspired to come back to this story. I really want to complete it because you’ve all been so wonderful supporting it throughout all this time, even with no updates in sight. I’m very happy to share this new chapter with you and I hope you’ll all enjoy it. Please let me know what you think!
Oh, a little technical detail: reading back through all the previous chapters, I realized I’ve completely messed up the story timeline I set up after part 1. The concert and graduation were supposed to be just a few days after part 1, but since I ended up writing much more than I had expected that timeline didn’t work anymore. So, just to clarify: all I’ve done is I’ve expanded the time frame of the entire story from a few days to a couple of months. It shouldn’t impact the storyline much, but I wanted to make sure I specified it. That’s all. I missed writing Dewey so much! So, without further ado… Onward we go with part 5! Enjoy!
Warning: 🔥🔥🔥
Teacher’s Pet - Part 5
“You seriously need to keep quiet right now.”
“Make me.”
“Keep teasing me with that mouth of yours and see where that gets you -”
“…Is that a threat or a promise?”
You cock an eyebrow meaningfully, but a far off voice suddenly interrupts the conversation.
“Dewey? Dewey! They’re ready for us on stage!”
“Oh, crap! Why do I keep following you and your insane ideas…?!”
Dewey rolls his eyes, sighing dramatically while you grin to yourself.
It was your “fault”, naturally. Like always. Even though you prefer to think of it as taking initiative. What harm was there in having a little bit of fun…right?
❤️
After all, you knew Dewey needed a break. It was two days before graduation and the day before the big end of year concert. You’d been stuck at sound check for the last three hours. Between the chatter, the cacophony of instruments, the out of tune mics, the backstage frenzy and the other students’ performance anxiety, you could tell he was losing his mind. So, you’d made an executive decision and had casually announced you were going to the bathroom for a quick break, throwing Dewey a meaningful glance over your shoulder that clearly said “Follow me.” It hadn’t taken long for you to find a little secluded space in the backstage area settled behind a line of metal instrument cases, partially covered by two heavy black curtains. It had taken even less for Dewey to join you and immediately start ravishing you with kisses, gripping onto your body as he let off some steam. You knew he’d needed that, and felt absolutely no guilt at all for bringing him there.
❤️
“Because you fucking love it?” You smirk provocatively to answer his question, sliding your hands smoothly down the lapels of his jacket. Before he can reply, you tilt your face and wantonly lock your lips with his once more, pushing yourself against his body while caressing his abdomen. Dewey moans into your mouth in response, struggling to pull away. He mutters your name under his breath, trying to sound admonishing.
“We have to get back on stage - everybody’s waiting for us -” he sounds slightly anxious, but you keep interrupting him with kisses, “- They’re gonna notice - we’re the only ones missing - They’re gonna start - looking for us -”
“I know, I know…” you reply, pulling away from him for a moment with a fake apologetic expression on your face.
Dewey looks at you questioningly as he catches his breath and tries to tidy himself up. Your eyes turn mischievous as you lean forward once more, placing your mouth against his ear.
“But you’re so sexy when you’re on stage,” you whisper, your lips brushing against his earlobe, “You make me so wet just looking at you.”
Dewey groans audibly, clearly struggling to contain himself. Just then, you hear someone else call your name too and you know it’s definitely time to go. You talk a big game, but the last thing you want is for someone to discover you. You grin in satisfaction, feeling you’ve won yet another round of the continuous teasing game between the two of you, and turn around to leave…. when suddenly Dewey’s hand clamps around your forearm. He pulls you back against him, pushing himself flush against you and lowering his head to whisper in your ear, “Keep playing this game and see what happens…”
You can’t help it. Casting a cocky glance behind your shoulder, you murmur back, “Oooh…but Mister Schneebly, I’m just being a good girl for you.”
Dewey inhales sharply. Touché, you think to yourself. You feel his grip on you tighten, but before he can do anything else you hear the stage manager call his name again, this time sounding much closer. Far too close. In a flash, you feel Dewey’s mouth leave one last lingering kiss beneath your ear, his voice warning you to count to ten before following him. Then he lets go of you and steps out from your little hiding spot. You hear him respond to the manager, making up some shitty excuse about the heat and having to take a break in the shade and wondering where the fresh water bottles were. You giggle to yourself, waiting an appropriate amount of seconds before following in his steps and joining the others back on stage.
❤️
The final rehearsals are in full swing. Say what you will against Horace Green, but even since they won the Battle of the Bands the school board has really invested in the school’s performances - in every sense of the word. The big stage is set up in the school’s huge rugby field that had therefore been transformed into an outdoor arena for the occasion. There are trucks unloading lights and set pieces, technicians walking around the stage, as well as an entire backstage crew dealing with costumes, makeup, instruments and microphones… And of course, all of the performers including the school band, the singers, a couple of music assistants, and last but not least, Dewey Finn himself.
You head for the front of the stage where the rest of your band mates are sitting. As soon as you get back to your seat your best friend - who also happens to be a part of the band - eyes you questioningly. You brush it off with a slight frown and a wave of your wrist, pretending you’d had to deal with something silly and annoying. She shrugs it off and resumes talking with the others and you force yourself to get back into the conversation as well.
You make the terrible mistake of crossing Dewey’s eyes for a moment as he’s walking across the stage, reading a list the stage manager has just handed to him. He slowly lowers his eyes to subtly glance down at your bare legs, and it sends a jolt of pleasure running down your thighs. As much as you hate giving in to his teasing, you have to break eye contact for your own sake. You self consciously cross your legs, trying to pull your skirt lower. Then you look back up just in time to see Dewey smirk to himself and you almost curse out loud. He got you this round. Damn it!
Before you can mentally dwell on the matter any further they call your band on stage. Oh, great, you think to yourself. Just what you need in this state: more of Dewey doing his Rock God thing. As close as possible to you, of course. Perfect. Just perfect!
You grab your guitar and start tuning it, pretending to be extremely concentrated as the others take their places and Dewey strolls past you, clearing his throat as he sets up his mic stand. You keep your focus, determined not to give in again. Fortunately everybody gets into place quickly and the music starts playing. You have to stand to Dewey’s left throughout the song, just a step behind him... which means you get a perfect front row view of him as he sings. And sure enough, the bastard seems to really enjoy himself as he puts on a particularly energetic performance, radiating a mixture of power, talent and goddamn sex appeal that makes you fuck up a couple of notes.
You’re almost certain nobody else notices - after all, the whole band’s used to seeing Dewey put on a show like he does. But you certainly can’t ignore the way he casually glances behind him to look at each musician, allowing his eyes to linger on you just a second too longer…or how he turns around to strut across the stage, casually twirling in front of you….or how he hits the higher notes with that growl in his voice that he knows drives you crazy.
You try to act as cool and uncaring as possible, returning each of his stares with equal fervour and deciding to equally oh-so-casually step up closer to him at the mic mid song, thrusting your hip out as you dive into your solo and throwing your head back as you play. You can feel his eyes on you as you rock your hips side to side and swish your head back and forth, before looking up at him from under your lashes as you finish. He almost risks skipping a beat - literally - but quickly snaps out of it.
You smugly step back to your place as the band finishes the song. The rest of the students clap and cheer for you. Dewey takes a bow, the sweat running down the sides of his face, strands of his hair glued to his cheeks. He motions for the rest of the band to step forward to receive their applause and you obediently follow your friends to the front of the stage. It’s still just a rehearsal, but everyone - including the backstage crew - seems to have stopped doing what they were doing to applaud you. Dewey turns around, beaming.
“All right!” He cheers, pumping the air with his fist, “Awesome job you guys, that was amazing!” The rest of the band joins in his cheering. “Now,” he adds, raising his hands to quiet everyone down as he catches his breath, “We’re going to have to leave the stage to the choir because they have a limited time slot to rehearse, so just get your stuff and sit back down for a moment. They should be done in half an hour, so take a break but don’t lose your focus, because we’re going straight into tech after this and trust me, it’s gonna be a looong night if we’re not on our A game. All right, beat it!” He jokingly shoos everyone away, “I gotta go wash up before I melt here!”
And with that he leaves the stage. As you gather your guitar you exchange happy smiles with your band mates, complimenting one another and keeping up the hype. Then you decide to head to the little relax area set backstage to grab a drink and maybe a little snack while you wait. You leave your guitar in its case on the side of the stage and make your way through the heavy velvet curtains between the wings…. When suddenly you feel someone pull you backward, and for a second everything goes black.
❤️
The daylight disappears as Dewey pulls you behind the last wing of the stage. In one swift motion he twists you around and hoists you up on one of the amps, setting you down just perfectly at his hip height. You’re surrounded by thick black curtains hanging on every side and you’re standing in mid darkness, hidden from view on the far side of the wing just before the backstage area. But you can still hear people walk by you just a few feet away.
“Dew!” You gasp in surprise under your breath, “What the fuck are-”
He doesn’t even let you finish. Grabbing your wrists, he pulls your arms behind your back and holds them there as he leans into you, forcing you to look up at him. He’s not hurting you - he never does - but with all your make out sessions he knows by now you don’t mind being handled a little more roughly sometimes. Not to mention, you’d quickly learned Dewey really enjoyed taking charge… and you were an absolute and total sub for him.
“What did I tell you before going on stage?” He asks you, his voice low. “You teasing little devil…”
You catch onto his previous warning and grin mischievously.
“Oooh….Mister Schneebly, am I in trouble now?” You ask innocently, making doe eyes at him.
He chuckles, his voice a low guttural sound, and shakes his head. Then he raises his face looking at you with a mixture of amusement and desire. You’re standing so close your noses are touching.
“You’re impossible -” he murmurs, skimming your face.
“I’m still hearing a lot of words and not seeing a lot of action, Mister Schneebly….” You tease him further, careful to brush your lips against his as you speak, “Better be quick if you want to do something about it, before recess is over - ”
He cuts you off once more as he closes the space between the two of you. You gasp loudly as you feel him bite down on your neck. He lets go of your wrists, grabbing your hips instead and pulling you against him as soon as you spread your legs to welcome him closer. He kisses your neck in all your favorite spots, making you gasp airily and roll your head back. Your hands snake underneath his jacket, gliding up his torso and chest before reaching his neck and stopping beneath his jawline to cup his face. You gently pull him away from your collarbone and exchange a longing stare, before leaning forward again and kissing him fervently. You feel his hands leave your hips, caressing your back upward and diving into your hair.
He grabs onto the locks at the nape of your neck and pulls, gently enough so as not to hurt you but still strong enough to elicit a small whimper from you. You retort by biting down on his bottom lip. He doesn’t let you linger too long before he closes his mouth over yours once more, his tongue hungrily tasting you.
“My little devil…” he whispers between kisses, pulling on your hair again and making you gasp out loud.
“My Rock God…” you reply, moving your hands swiftly down to his hips and pulling him flush against you.
His groin is perfectly levelled between your legs, and as you rock your hips forward and hitch your skirt a little higher his crotch lands right between your thighs. You frantically exchange more heated kisses, biting and sucking each other’s lips. You both have to force yourselves to keep quiet. You’re not sure about Dewey, but knowing you have to hush yourself while he’s pleasing you like this makes you even more flustered.
Dewey groans, suppressing the sound into your mouth when he feels your hand move from his side to his crotch as you caress his groin through the fabric of his jeans. He pulls down harder on your hair, but at this point you only feel the pleasure. His hands let go of your locks and glide under your shirt, his fingers tracing outlines on your naked skin. It’s beginning to feel like its’s not enough...
It never feels like enough, because Dewey always makes you want more. And you can’t have more. At least not for now. Not until you keep that stupid promise he convinced you to make just two weeks before....
❤️
“What do you mean, no sex?”
You’d stared at him as though he’d just suggested to rob a bank in broad daylight. The audacity with which he’d just calmly made the suggestion only sounded more ridiculous given the fact that you were both standing in his office - you propped up on his desk, him between your legs, a position that was becoming increasingly familiar to you both - and he had just broken up a particularly heated make up session to apparently say the dumbest fucking thing he could think of.
“I didn’t say we should never have sex,” he’d retorted, trying to button up his shirt, fix his tie and tame his hair at the same time. “I’m just saying that we agreed we’d take things slow - dontlookatmelikethat - and you’ve been making it very fucking difficult to keep that idea up.”
“Yeah - and what’s the problem?!” You'd asked, exasperated.
“I’ve told you once, I’ll say it a thousand more times if I need to,” he replied, placing his hands on either side of your body to gaze down at you with a gentle look in his eyes, “You know how much I really care about you, and you know I don’t want to fuck this up. I know how much you want this - and don’t you think for a goddam moment I don’t really, really want this too. But - but!” He’d repeated, eyeing you meaningfully as soon you’d huffed loudly and looked away, “I also want you to enjoy these last moments of high school like you deserve. Your friends, your last lessons, not to mention the end of year concert….and hey? Hey!” He’d placed a finger under your chin to turn your head back towards him, “Listen to me, okay? Take it from an idiot. My first time? I was drunk, high, and I lost my virginity in the back of my friend’s van to a girl I barely knew just because we were having a stupid celebratory night out before the end of school and I felt like I had to do it right at that moment, no matter what. And you know what? It sucked.” Despite you forcing yourself to stay upset, you were listening to what he was saying. “It’s not true that your first time doesn’t really matter, that it’s okay even if it’s bad. It’s bullshit. You’ll always remember it. No matter what. And you’ll always regret not having waited for the right moment just because you thought you had to hurry up. So guess what?” He’d slowly moved a strand of hair behind your ear, “I’m not about to make that mistake with you. Not to mention let you make that mistake to yourself. I like you too much. I care about you, about us, too much to let either of us be that stupid.” He’d gently leaned forward to kiss your forehead tenderly. “I want to make sure it’s special. For you, and yeah, guess what? For me, too. So just…bear with me. Can we just agree on this one thing?”
Taken aback by his genuine display of kindness and caring, you’d found yourself at a loss of sarcasm for once. You had only been able to nod in agreement, waiting for him to continue.
“Just promise me we can wait until after your graduation before we go all the way.”
“After graduation? After graduation???” You’d audibly groaned. “Dewwww….But that’s two fucking weeks away!”
“I know, I know…”
“But how the fuck are we supposed to make it to there?!”
He’d chuckled slightly, “I don’t know, but we’ll manage…”
“…I’m sorry, did you miss the way you just slammed me into your desk to make out like, five minutes ago?! Dew, I could feel you getting hard before we even entered your office, for fuck’s sake!”
He’d laughed out loud at your brazenness, “I know! That’s exactly why I’m telling you this.” Shaking his head lightly, he’d looked at you lovingly and insisted, “Trust me. It’s going to be difficult for me too, but we’ll be glad we waited. Besides…” he’d added, a glint of mischief suddenly sparkling in his eyes, “I only said we shouldn’t go all the way, not stay away from each other…”
“Yeah, I really wanna see us try to- ah!” You’d gasped as he dipped his head to teasingly bite you beneath your ear - a spot that was quickly becoming one of his favourites.
“Promise?” He’d mumbled against your neck, slowly starting to drag his nose against your skin, his mouth hovering above each of your sweet spots, “Huh?”
You’d closed your eyes in ecstasy. He knew exactly what he was doing and he knew exactly how to make you lose all resistance. It was embarrassing how easily you succumbed to his every move, really. But you also couldn’t give less of a fuck.
Closing your eyes, you’d tilted your head back and taken a deep breath, your hand reaching for his face and holding him closer to you as his hands slowly found their way back to your sides.
“All right, Schneebly, I promise…” you’d agreed, not before suddenly rocking your hips into him and making him groan out in surprise. You’d smiled wickedly to yourself, leaning your chest against his and reaching up to gently bite down on his jawline, nibbling on his skin.
“But I’m not gonna promise I’m gonna make it easy for you.”
❤️
Those words could not ring truer, given the moment. But Dewey isn’t making things any easier, either. As a matter of fact, it almost looks like he’s forgotten all about your vow right now.
He seems to lose control for a moment as one of his hands dives between your legs to touch you through your panties in response to you caressing his groin. Taken by surprise, you drop your hand from his bulging crotch and almost cry out. He shushes you, covering your mouth with the palm of his hand and pushing his hips against yours, his hand caught in between. Your hands swoop up to the base of his neck, grasping onto his hair.
“Fuck, Dew…” you whisper behind his hand, breathless, “Are you crazy-?”
“You’re the one driving me crazy, baby…” he whispers back, resting his forehead against yours.
“We should sto-aah!” You moan again as his fingers keep moving between your thighs. “Fuck…Dew…” you bite down on the side of his hand covering your mouth, lowering your head and hiding your face in the crook of his shoulder to cover your panting. You know you should stop immediately...but your mind goes into overdrive with the friction of his fingers against the fabric rubbing onto your sensitive skin and the way his hot breath feels in your ear and his raspy voice cursing under his breath and the way you instinctively push against his hand and roll your hips in rhythm because you just can’t keep your body still. But when you feel his hand try to move your panties to the side, something unexpectedly snaps inside you and you grab his hand, stopping him. “Wait! I can’t…I can’t do this anymore.”
He freezes for a second, dropping both of his hands and confusedly looking at you until you stare intensely in his eyes and add, “I can’t fucking wait anymore. Not one more day. Screw that. I’m over it.”
He grins, still panting. He stares at you in silence for a moment, then something seems to click behind his eyes. Lunging forward, he gives you a breathless kiss that leaves you light headed, then pulls away just enough to lean his forehead against yours once more and nods. “You know what?” He asks. You shake your head. “I think I’m done waiting, too.”
He kisses you again, this time more tenderly.
“But not here. Definitely not here, for fuck’s sake.” He chuckles lightly, almost to himself, looking around you, “Oh God. What the fuck are we even doing back here…?”
“Then when? Where? Tell me.” You ask immediately, already feeling electric, turning his face back towards you, afraid he’ll somehow lose focus. “Tell me right now, or I will rip your pants off and so be it.”
He almost laughs out loud this time. Then he lets out a deep sigh and smiles at you. “All right, all right, you little minx. Tonight. You can come over to my place after we’re done here. How does that sound?”
You’re so ecstatic to hear him say those words. You almost can’t believe he’s actually agreeing to this. Thank fuck for you and your insane ideas!
You throw your hands around his neck excitedly and pull him close, kissing him lightly and then smiling at him. “It sounds amazing.” You answer, beaming.
He smiles back gently starting to pull away, but you tug him back.
“Hey, Dew?” You ask a little more softly.
“Yeah?”
You lower your head, suddenly feeling a little
“I think…I think it’s really going to be perfect.”
He smiles sweetly at you, nodding in agreement before giving you one last, longing tender kiss.
“I’m going to make sure it’s perfect, baby.” He whispers in your ear, hugging you close to him and sighing deeply.
You can’t wait for the day to be over.
To be continued.......
#my writing#teacher's pet#dewey finn#dewey finn x reader#dewey finn imagine#dewey finn x you#alex brightman#school of rock#school of rock broadway#school of rock musical#beetlejuice#beetlejuice the musical#broadway#beetlejuice x reader#beej x reader
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Two Man Team - Chapter 13
Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.
Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.
Rating: E
Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.
Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.
Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.
This is basically the epilogue, thank you for joining me in this journey and I hope you enjoyed the ride.
Total Word Count: 75k ish
Read on Ao3
CHAPTER 13: Two Man Team
January of 2019
Having spent the holidays with his family without telling them about Dan was harder than Phil had expected, but he needed to discuss the situation with Dan first. They of course knew that Dan had returned to YouTube and that they had rekindled their friendship, but Phil had avoided any further questions on the topic.
After a bit of back and forth, he and Dan decided that keeping appearances for Phil’s birthday at the end of the month was not really an option, so they sat down on the sofa fumbling with Phil’s phone, opening his mum’s contact and finally hitting the facetime button on accident when he almost dropped his phone to the floor.
“Child!” Phil’s mother said.
Phil scrambled to set the camera to his face without showing Dan. “Hi, Mum!” he replied, his voice cracking from the nerves as if he was 15 all over again. “How are you?”
“Doing well, you know, tending to the garden,” she smiled. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing?” he said, sounding like it was definitely something.
“Phil, I am your mother. Don’t try to lie, you are terrible at it.”
“I just - wanted to tell you something,” he said, biting his lip.
“Are you ill?” She asked, sounding quite concerned, her face falling.
“No! Not at all. I’m seeing someone,” he said and almost slapped himself. Dan gave him a reproachful look. They were a bit past the “seeing each other” stage.
“Oh!” She said, her smile returning. “You have a partner?”
“Yes! I actually misspoke. I do have a partner,” he clarified.
“Well, that’s quite nice. How long have you been together?”
Phil looked at Dan with wide eyes, there were so many possible answers to that question. Dan shrugged and mouthed an “October?” at him.
“Uh, October - ish,” Phil said, looking back at her. “We were seeing where things were going but we - made it official in October.”
“Why didn’t you bring them over for Christmas?” She asked.
She was trying not to push, Phil could tell, but after he posted his coming out, there was no need to keep beating around the bush. “He, Mum, we can say it. It’s a man.”
She laughed, letting out a happy sigh. “Oh, I’m glad, Child. I didn’t want to assume or offend you. You know how much your father and I love you, we just want you to be happy.”
Phil did know, but he smiled nonetheless. “Yeah…”
“What can you tell me about your partner - boyfriend?”
“It’s D-Dan!” he said, with a nervous laugh. “And… well, you know Dan.”
“Oh, dear! I love Dan! What a sweet boy! Oh, Phil, that is just wonderful,” she said, sounding genuinely happy. “Since October?” she prodded, narrowing her eyes.
Phil laughed and looked at Dan’s beaming face, gesturing for him to speak up, but Dan only made a silly face at him.
“Yes!” Phil said. “I swear, since October. We took things slowly because of… the time we were apart.”
“Hiiii!” said Dan as Phil turned the phone towards him.
“Oh, hi love! How have you been?” She asked, “Can you hear me?”
“Yes, he can hear you,” Phil said.
“I’m doing well, very happy,” Dan said, with that tone he’d always used with Phil’s mum. He had always been a sweet talker.
“That’s all that matters then! Phil, you have to bring him over for your birthday!”
“Yes!” Dan said before Phil could reply. “I accept the invitation!”
Phil poked his side as they both laughed. “We’ll be there for the weekend.”
“Martyn and Cornelia are coming as well!” She said.
“Who is that?” Asked Phil’s dad in the background.
“It’s Phil! Do you want to talk to him?”
His father didn’t reply to her and just grabbed the phone. “Hello, son,” he said merrily. “Are you coming to us for your birthday?”
“Yeah,” he said and hesitated for only a second but that was enough.
“He has a boyfriend!” His mum said, sounding almost more excited about it than Phil.
“Oh! A boyfriend! That’s nice. Is he treating you well?”
“No, he’s horrible to me!” Phil said, theatrically.
“Shut up!” said Dan, blushing and slapping his arm.
“I know that voice! Don’t I know that voice?” Phil’s dad asked away from the phone.
“It’s Dan!” said his mum.
“Yeah, It’s Dan,” said Phil, still giggling about his little joke and the effect it had on Dan.
“Hi, Dan!” His dad said. “You found yourself a nice boyfriend there?”
Dan squished his face to Phil’s to be in frame “Sometimes I’m inclined to believe that no,” he laughed.
“I’ll have you know I’m a wonderful boyfriend,” Phil said.
Dan gave him a look and a cheeky smile. “He leaves every cupboard open after making coffees he doesn’t actually drink until they are cold.”
“Spend a lot of time with him?” Phil’s dad asked, reading between the lines.
“He stayed over one day and never left,” Phil said, with a laugh.
“Don’t say that, they will think I’m just leeching here,” Dan said, swatting at him. “I moved in recently, when my lease was up.”
“You could have come for Christmas then,” commented Phil’s mum.
“His family wanted him with them as well, Mum. Don’t worry, I will drag him over soon.”
“Good, you do that,” Phil’s father said. “Dan, take care of him for me.”
“I will,” Dan said with a small smile.
“See you then,” Phil’s dad said. “Bye!”
“Bye!” Dan and Phil said in unison, making his mum laugh.
“Bye, boys!” She said and disconnected the call.
“That went better than expected,” Dan said, pressing a small kiss to his lips.
“It was good,” Phil agreed and wrapped his arms around Dan’s frame. “I’m glad that they were so calm about it.”
“It’s because they knew, or they suspected. Your dad definitely knew.”
“He has been onto us since the beginning.”
Dan tsked. “I don’t think we were as slick as we thought we were.”
“Probably not,” Phil snorted.
---
When the weekend of Phil’s birthday finally rolled around, he and Dan were in a bit of a panic.
Even though the phone call with the announcement had gone fairly well, it was a bit nerve wracking for Phil because he had never officially introduced anyone as a boyfriend. His family knew that he was gay but it wasn’t something that he really talked about. They had sort of figured it out on their own and were kind enough not to bother him about it. And Dan was nervous to see Phil’s parents again as Phil’s boyfriend, this was also a new experience for him and he was still getting used to being out of the closet.
As soon as they set foot in his parents’ house, Phil’s mum pulled Dan into a hug and pinched his cheek, which was quite hard because of the height difference. Still, Dan bent down and let her enjoy herself. He beamed as Phil’s parents welcomed him in without a hint of awkwardness.
“Go take your bags upstairs and come back down to sit by the fire, we’ll be right over with some tea,” his mum said, gesturing to the sofas by the fireplace on her way to the kitchen with her husband in tow.
Phil didn’t need to be told twice. With the wind raging outside and snow threatening to fall, by the fire was exactly where he wanted to be. He took Dan’s coat and put it away before leading his boyfriend to one of the two guest bedrooms. It was decorated in muted colours and consisted of a double bed, two bedside tables and a few decorative items. Phil looked around and sighed, wishing that they were still at his old family home; this one didn’t hold the same memories.
Dan wrapped his arms around him, hugging him from behind. “Everything ok?” He asked, resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder.
“Yeah, I was just thinking.”
“What about?” Dan said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“I wish we could go back to the old house.”
“Hmm, the place where we first got together,” Dan mused. “That would be nice, but we can make new memories here.”
“Yeah,” Phil said and turned around, resting his arms on Dan’s shoulder and leaning in for a kiss.
Dan shoved his cold hands under Phil’s hoodie making him squirm and jump back with a laugh.
“You beast!” Phil said.
“Better?” Dan smirked.
“Yeah, but I’ll get you later!”
“Can’t wait,” Dan said, wiggling his eyebrows and walking out the door.
Phil shook his head and followed after him, catching up to Dan who was already on the sofa and sitting at his side, leaving the two armchairs across the coffee table for his parents.
Dan stretched his arms towards the fire and rubbed them together. “I am finally starting to feel my fingers again.”
“I wish I could climb inside the fire,” Phil added and Dan gave him a warning look. “It was just an expression.”
He knew that Phil was not being serious but with how prone to accidents he was, they could never be too safe. “I miss having a fireplace,” lamented Dan and Phil made a mental note of that.
“At least we have an aircon,” Phil commented, rubbing Dan’s back.
“True, but it’s hard to appreciate it during the winter months.”
“Here we are!” Phil’s mum said, walking over and narrowly avoiding dropping the tray before setting it down on the coffee table. “Milk, Dan?” She gave them a little smile when she saw Phil’s hands on Dan’s back.
“Yes, please,” Dan said, clearing his throat.
His dad sat down and reached for his own cup, adding sugar and stirring before taking a sip and smiling happily.
“You look so handsome,” his mum said, handing the cup to Dan. “Is this your natural hair?”
“No, I got a perm,” Dan laughed and Phil saw him relaxing a bit into his spot on the sofa. He took a sip of his tea and hummed. “Yes, it is my natural hair. I just didn’t like it before.”
“I think it’s an improvement from your previous look,” she smiled, blowing into her cup as she stirred her tea.
“Oh, absolutely,” he said, pausing. “So, how are you two doing? Do you enjoy living on the Island?”
Phil’s dad nodded. “Yes, I think this is one of the best decisions we ever made. We loved our house, but this is the perfect place to retire to.”
“We like to go on walks around the cliffs on most days,” she added. “I find the sea breeze refreshing and calming.”
“Sounds like paradise,” Dan said.
Phil could tell what his parents were hinting at so he decided to stir the conversation away from that topic. “When are Mar and Corn getting here?” He said, finally reaching for his own cup and taking a tentative sip, humming gleefully when he tasted the honey.
“Tomorrow, sometime after 3, I believe,” his dad said.
“Good!” Phil replied. “I think he will be happy to see Dan again.”
“Does Martyn know?” His mother asked.
“No. I mean, he probably did, but no, nobody knew for certain. Just Mark and his boyfriend and we told Anja recently.”
Dan nodded. “We were not trying to be super secretive about it, but we wanted to make sure that things were working properly before we told anyone else, if that makes sense?”
“Can I ask something?” She asked.
“Of course, anything,” Dan said, and Phil was tempted to say that maybe not anything but kept quiet.
“You know, Phil never said anything to us, but I thought you were dating back in the day. Then it made sense to me that Phil didn’t bring any girls over, just you. And Anja.”
“It was not like that with Dan - or with Anja.”
Dan made a noncommittal face. “It was kind of like that, but not really. We liked each other, definitely, but we weren’t officially dating, I would say.”
“We weren’t,” Phil said. “And Anja is a lesbian; she has had a girlfriend since… 2011 I believe. I introduced them.”
“You didn’t date Anja then?” She asked.
Phil shook his head. “No, she stayed because I was her gay friend and she knew it was safe.”
“Oh, and then she came over with a girl… and you slept on the sofa.” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “I thought you were just embarrassed to send her friend to the sofa to have some privacy,” she said in wonder.
“Mum!” Phil said, feeling the heat rising to his face. “I would have never done that with you in the house.”
Dan laughed.
“Are all of your friends gay?” His dad asked.
Phil hummed. “Not every single friend, but I would say that most friends I’ve made in the last few years are gay. We just understand each other better.”
Dan nodded. “I grew up and found out that not only were some of my bullies gay but most of my friends too, even though none of us were out at the time, and some of us didn’t even know yet.”
“I suppose that you find people that you can relate to and have things in common, if that’s being gay, or knitting, or having a book club, right?” His mum asked.
“That’s a good point,” Dan said.
Then his dad looked at Phil and caught him off guard. “Dan stayed over quite often when travelled,” he commented with an amused smile, apparently realising what Phil hadn’t meant to imply before.
Phil coughed but his mum was thankfully ready to save him.
“It’s so wonderful that you are back together now,” She said.
Dan nodded. “It took some time, but he thankfully listened to me when I apologised and explained myself.”
“Phil can be a little stubborn,” she conceded.
“He was more than a little stubborn, but I deserved it,” Dan said. “It was not easy, but I’m glad he had it in him to forgive me,” he reached towards Phil and laced their fingers together.
The butterflies in Phil’s stomach were still there and he could feel himself blushing, but when he looked at his parents he saw nothing but acceptance and perhaps a little relief that he wasn’t going to die alone after all.
“You seem like a good match,” his dad said with a gentle smile.
Phil’s heart burst with happiness. He could hear the pride in his father’s voice, the pride he had wanted to hear his entire life. “Thank you,” he said, clearing his throat as he tried to not get overly emotional.
“So how is… work?” His dad asked.
“Quite good,” Phil said, feeling thankful to have something else to focus on. “I have exciting projects going and Dan too.”
“Anything you can share?” He asked.
“Not yet, but you will know soon enough,” Phil said.
“Please give us a warning if it’s something important so we don’t hear about it from the neighbours,” his mum said.
Phil winced and mumbled an “Alright.” He took a long sip from his cup. “I didn’t tell them before posting my coming out,” he mumbled in Dan’s general direction.
“You didn’t tell them before posting?” Dan asked, looking at Phil out of the corner of his eye.
“No, he doesn’t tell us much these days,” She said, a bit too dramatically.
“Don’t say that, I just figured you knew already,” Phil said, snorting. “And I forgot.”
“We knew but we didn’t know!” She said. “And then we watched Dan’s video - which was so wonderful by the way - and we finally got some idea of what went on in your life.”
Phil huffed, starting to get a bit annoyed.
“Thank you,” Dan said. “It was a lot of work but I’m glad that you liked it.” He squeezed Phil’s hand in support.
Phil was grateful that his boyfriend knew how to suck up to his mum and stir the conversation away from him and how bad of a son he was.
“It was very emotional,” she said. “I quite enjoyed it, even though it had some sad parts. I wish you didn’t have to go through that.” She looked at Dan with deep sadness in her eyes.
“Well, it all turned me into a person I’m proud to be today,” Dan said.
“We are proud of you too, Dan,” his dad said and before Dan could react, he continued. “Actually, if you could come with me, I want to show you something.” He got up to his feet.
“Of course,” Dan said and followed him to his office, throwing Phil a confused look over his shoulder.
“Come,” Phil’s mum whispered then. She grabbed their coats and took his hand, pulling him through the sliding door and out to the garden.
“It’s way too cold to be out,” Phil said, sipping his jacket on and pulling his gloves out of his pocket.
“Oh, it will boost your immune system,” she said, holding onto his arm as they walked slowly in circles around the garden. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I told you, I am happy with Dan.” He interlaced his fingers to make sure his gloves were properly fitted.
“I know, I know. You do look happy, but I worry sometimes,” she said. “After Dan left - you weren’t the same for a long time. I don’t think you are the same, even now.”
“Neither is he. We both went through quite a bit of pain together and on our own,” Phil admitted. “And nobody is the same at 31 than at twenty-something.”
“That’s fair. I am just a bit scared for you too, even though I know Dan is a good boy.”
“We will be alright this time, Mum,” he reassured her. “The thing you don’t understand is that with him in the closet and me being only partially out, things were never going to work. At the time Dan wasn’t even able to accept himself, so dealing with that publicly on top of our feelings was too much.”
“My heart breaks for him,” she said. “I’m sure the relationship will work this time.” She patted Phil’s arm
“You can never be 100% sure of anything, but it took almost a year to get back to a place where we were comfortable enough to start dating again and we haven’t had any major issues,” Phil said.
She let out a deep sigh of relief and smiled widely. “I’m glad to hear that, Child. You two deserve to be happy and it seems that you are determined to be together.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, it’s nothing bad. You fought through any sort of problem that came your way to make it to the other side and I think that’s what matters. No relationship comes without obstacles, the important thing is that you work to sort through them.”
He nodded. “Do you and Dad argue a lot now that you are retired?”
“Not much anymore,” she said, patting his hand. “We know who we are and what to do to avoid creating arguments. And we still love each other.”
Phil smiled. “What’s your secret?” He asked.
Humming, she paused for a moment before replying. “Don’t hang on to silly tiffs and never go to sleep angry. Solve your arguments before bed. That’s what your grandma told me and It worked well.”
“I will,” Phil said, getting lost in thought when he realised that the two year anniversary of his grandma’s death was coming. He missed her so much.
His mum caught up to the reason for his silence. “She was very proud of you, you know?” She said, “A few years ago, she asked if you were dating anyone and I told her that I believed so. That made her happy, even when I told her that it might be a boy.”
Phil’s eyes welled up with tears briefly. He wished he’d had that conversation with her but she had gotten ill and passed before Phil could make his way back. He shouldn’t have waited so long to talk to her about it. At least now he knew that she supported him. “Do you think she would have liked Dan?” he asked.
“She would have loved to meet Dan, but she knew of him from YouTube,” she said.
Phil’s eyebrows burrowed into a frown. “How?”
“You have to remember that Dan was the only person you brought home so I showed her a few of the videos you made together.”
“Oh my god! What videos?” Phil asked, half amused, half horrified. A single tear slid down his cheek but he rubbed it away quickly. Sniffling through the laugh.
“Only the more innocent ones,” she said, raising one eyebrow at him.
“I can’t believe you showed her that. You like to gossip way too much,” Phil said.
She booped the tip of his nose. “And you took after me, so I don’t want to hear it, dear.”
“Alright,” Phil said. “Thank you for the advice and for showing grandma a part of me I didn’t have the chance to share with her. It means more to me than you know.” He turned towards her and pulled her into a hug.
“You’re welcome, dear,” she smiled. “Let’s go back inside, you are shaking like a leaf.”
They made their way back into the house and Phil could still hear his dad’s voice faintly mid-conversation.
“...You make him happy. We were so worried about him these past few years,” he said. “I wanted you to know that you will always be welcome in this house.”
“Thank you, Mr Lester,” Dan said.
“Nigel,” his dad said. “In your video, you said that your father didn’t take your … email very well. Right?”
“No,” Dan mumbled.
Phil followed their voices and stood in the hallway, shamelessly listening in.
“Sometimes the people we love are the ones that hurt us the most, but the good thing is that we can find other people to love. We are your family, Dan.”
“I -” Dan paused. “Thank you, you don’t know how much this means…”
Phil turned around the corner and saw Dan hugging his dad tightly. He stood there for a moment, staring at the scene with a shocked smile and retreated to the downstairs bathroom to give them some privacy and compose himself. He looked in the mirror and smiled, still a little moved by his parents’ reaction, he hadn’t expected this much support from them, and now he felt guilty for ever doubting them.
After a few minutes, he joined his mother in setting the table.
Dinner went without a hitch and it came with a much lighter tone. They shared a bottle of wine over pasta and played Scrabble past midnight when his mum finally deemed the night over.
They said their goodbyes and climbed up the stairs to the guest bedroom. The bed looked so soft and comfortable it was basically screaming Phil’s name. He slipped into his pyjamas quickly to avoid the biting cold and slid under the covers.
Dan snorted a laugh. “Cold?”
“Uh-huh. Aren’t you?” Phil mumbled, only his eyes peeking from under his burrow.
“Not that much. I think the wine got to me.” He took off his jeans and pulled on a different hoodie before getting under the covers and scooching closer to Phil. “Come here,” Dan said, pulling him into a hug and dropping a kiss to the tip of his nose.
Phil sighed happily, slipping his fingers into the curls on the back of Dan’s hair that was beginning to grow just a bit too long for Dan’s taste. “Love you,” he said, leaning in for a slow kiss.
Dan’s hold on him tightened, his hand sliding under Phil’s pyjama top and resting on his lower back.
There was no urgency, no heat, just comfort and familiarity. Phil knew that if he chose to push Dan in the slightest way, he would probably jump at the opportunity to have sex, but they would have their fun at home. Home. The flat they shared for the time being before -
He smiled and broke the kiss, staring into Dan’s eyes in the moonlight.
“Winter is my favourite. I love the cold because I can hold you like this and sleep without us drowning in a pool of sweat,” Dan laughed.
“We can do this all year, you just have to program the aircon fairly low. You are like a tiny oven.”
“I’m not tiny,” Dan pouted.
“You will always be the tiniest of babies to me,” Phil teased.
“Shut up, old man,” Dan said, letting out a yawn. “Big spoon or little spoon?”
“Mmmm, big spoon,” Phil said, wrapping his arms around Dan’s torso when he turned around. He kissed Dan’s shoulders and threw one leg over Dan’s, tangling it between his feet and smiled.
“You’re a weird one, Lester.”
“Your mum is weird,” Phil mumbled and shut his eyes.
“Happy birthday, Babe,” mumbled Dan.
“Mmm, thanks.”
This was going to be his best year, he could already tell.
---
The following morning, Phil woke up to his mum shaking him by the shoulder. He threw a hand over his eyes to let them adjust to the brightness. “Mum!” Phil whines, stretching his hand in search of Dan.
“Happy birthday, love!” She said. “Dan is already dressed and sitting down for breakfast. Wouldn’t you like to join us?”
Phil groaned. Why did Dan have to suck up to his parents by getting up early too? It was his birthday, he could have slept in. “What time is it?”
“It’s eleven already, so up, up! Off you go to the bathroom,” she said. “I made pancakes!”
Phil’s eyes widened. The one thing his mum didn’t ruin or burn to a crisp. “Alright!” He said and got up, changing into a warmer hoodie and heading downstairs after a pit stop at the bathroom.
“A pit stop,” he mumbled to himself with a snort. He needed to stop watching Formula 1 with Dan.
“There he is!” his dad said as soon as Phil walked into the kitchen, making him smile. “Happy birthday, son.”
“Thank you,” Phil said.
Dan reached out to him and pulled him by the hand to sit at his side. He leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered a “Happy birthday, Love,” into his ear.
Phil smiled so widely he thought his face might just split from the happiness and then he made eye contact with his mum, who had watched the interaction closely and blushed.
At least she looked happy for him but it was a bit embarrassing. On the other hand, Phil couldn’t help but notice that Dan didn’t completely avoid PDA, he just kept them at a minimum. It was not something that they had discussed, but Phil wouldn’t have expected Dan to be ok with something like this after being in the closet for so long. It was a good birthday surprise.
“Sleep well?” asked Dan.
Phil nodded, reaching across the table for his coffee mug.
“Well, wait a minute,” his mum said, squeezing lemon on top of his pancakes and sprinkling them with sugar before handing him the plate.
“Do you want to share?” He asked Dan.
“I already ate mine. These are all yours.”
“You didn’t wait for me?” Phil pouted.
“I was hungry, bitch. I woke up at 9!” Dan teased.
“Wow, you should have woken me up!”
“Please, I know how you get - and it’s your birthday.” Dan gave him a look.
“I don’t know what you mean. I am a perfect angel,” Phil said.
Dan rolled his eyes at him and snorted.
“Martyn will be here around 3 so that’s when I will serve the roast and we can cut the cake after. Is that ok?” his mum asked.
“Yes,” Phil said. “Our flight it’s not until 9 so we can leave around 7.”
“What a pitty that you couldn't stay a bit longer,” his dad said.
“I know, I’m sorry but we have work. We will visit again at some point,” Phil said.
“I hope that you can visit in a few months and stay over,” Dan said. “I am going on tour with a new project and I would love it if you could come.”
“Of course!” Phil’s mum said. “Will your mother be there?”
“Um, sure. We can get tickets for both families on the same date,” Dan said.
“Wonderful!” she said with a smile.
“When will it be?” Phil’s dad asked.
“Closer to the end of the year. I will let you know exactly when the producers tell me,” Dan said.
Phil looked between Dan and his mum, smiling at how sweetly she was pushing him into a corner to make a family reunion happen as soon as possible even with them living on opposite ends of the country. Still, he decided to rescue his boyfriend.
“Do you need help with anything, Dad?” Phil asked.
“Yes, actually! You can start chopping the onions and peeling potatoes,” he said. “Dan, do you think you can run to the store and get some more wine?”
“Yes, absolutely!” said Dan, surely aching to escape Phil’s mum’s interrogation.
“I will walk with you, dear,” she said, already reaching for her coat before Dan could say no.
Phil snorted and went in search of the onions. When he got back into the kitchen, his dad was waiting for him with a small framed art piece. He had to pause for a moment. He placed his hand on his heart and grabbed it with shaky hands. It was a charcoal drawing of the last picture Phil had taken with his parents and his grandma, but his dad had added Dan in. His eyes welled up in tears and he set the picture on the counter before pulling his dad into a tight hug with a choked sob. “T-thank you!”
His dad rubbed his back and Phil couldn’t remember a single time they had hugged like this since he’d been a child. He made sure to account for every detail of the way his father was holding him, comforting him.
“I’m proud of you, son,” he said.
“Thank you,” Phil mumbled. He didn’t want to have any regrets. One day his father would be gone and he wouldn’t have any other time to tell him. He remembered his vow to tell the people he loved the most just how much they meant to him, but his dad had somehow been skipped. Well, not somehow. They were men, they just didn’t do this type of thing, not since Phil had turned into an adult, but Phil didn’t want to continue on like that. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too,” his dad said with no hesitation.
They finished cooking side by side, swaying to the music playing in the radio in amicable silence.
By half past three, the roast was ready, Martyn and Cornelia were washing up, and Dan and Phil were setting the table. In one of Phil’s trips to the kitchen, Martyn caught him by the hand and asked him to follow him out to the garden.
Phil immediately regretted not taking a moment to grab a coat, but at least Martyn didn’t seem to be doing any better. “Fuck, Mar. What is it?”
“Shh! I don’t want Mum to hear. I just wanted to check something with you.”
“Yeah, what happened?” asked Phil, feeling a bit worried already.
“So - Cornelia and I have something to announce and we were waiting to do it in person but it’s your birthday… and I don’t think we'll be coming back here for a while so I wanted to check with you.” Martyn bit his lip. “Would you mind?”
“Announcing what?” Phil asked.
Martyn looked into the house, checking that no one was snooping on them, and whispered: “We’re having a baby!”
Phil’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to let out a squeal of delight but Martyn knew him too well and covered his mouth and nose for good measure.
“Don’t!” he whispered. “I will let you go but don’t scream!”
Phil nodded and once Martyn released him, Phil grabbed him by his jumper and shook him slightly. “I am going to be an uncle?!” he whisper-shouted.
“Yeah!” Martyn laughed and nodded, looking just as excited as Phil was, maybe even a bit more.
“Alright, that has to be the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten. I am going to spoil your kid so badly, you’re going to hate me,” Phil said.
“I already hate you,” he said with a laugh and Phil punched his arm.
The sliding door opened and Dan peeked his head out. “Lester! Don’t leave me to set the table alone just because it’s your birthday.” Then he disappeared without waiting for a reply.
“He has you on a short leash,” Martyn said with an amused smile.
Phil nodded. “Yeah. Been thinking of running away…”
“Dork!” Martyn said and walked inside.
Phil followed after him, lost in thought at the notion that his brother was going to be a father. Dan gave him a weird look but Phil just shrugged and carried the Yorkshire puddings and black currant sauce to the table. Dan had already brought the meat and roasted potatoes.
His mum went around serving wine and Phil realised that she would soon notice Cornelia wasn’t drinking. “Oh, let me do that,” he said. “Dan, can you bring the Ribena from the fridge?”
“Sure,” he said with a frown but didn’t question Phil.
“You boys are not having wine?” His mum asked.
“I read that it can make you dizzy to drink before a flight when you are prone to migraines, so I’m not drinking today.”
“Oh, I’ll take Ribena as well,” said Cornelia.
“That sounds nice, actually. I feel a bit dehydrated myself so I’ll join you,” Martyn said.
Phil’s mum looked a bit upset that half of the table wouldn’t enjoy the wine she bought.
Dan returned with a pitcher of Ribena and placed it on the table. He took a seat next to Phil and eyed him suspiciously.
Phil took a moment to check his messages while his mum served the roast because he knew she didn’t like them being on their phones while they ate and he got a notification from Dan immediately.
“What are you up to?”
“What?” Phil asked, playing coy.
“What’s going on? You’re being weird.”
“I am always weird according to most people.”
Dan sneaked a hand under the table and pinched Phil’s thigh, making him jump. “Fuck!”
“Philip!” his mum chided him.
“Sorry! I think I pulled a muscle on my leg.”
“Well don’t curse and take an ibuprofen,” she said and continued serving.
Phil grabbed his phone again. “I will get you for that. Just don’t say anything, Martyn will announce it soon. He asked me not to tell.”
“Alright,” Dan typed before they were told to put their phones down.
Dinner went by smoothly, although Phil was anxious for Martyn to drop the news so that they could all talk about it. The secret was burning him from the inside. When his mum went to the kitchen to make coffee, he went along and asked if they could cut the cake already.
She was a bit shocked but accepted, so Phil got it from the fridge and set it on the table. It was all covered in candy with a small doll resembling Phil emerging from it. “Aww, that’s cute, Mum,” Phil called over his shoulder.
“I didn’t make it, I just bought it,” she replied.
Phil snorted. Once the coffee and the mugs were at the table, Dan lit the candle and led the happy birthday song for Phil.
In that moment, Phil felt frozen in time, looking around, his loved ones smiling, supporting him and his relationship with Dan, who was easily slotting into the family and he looked at Cornelia, who would soon give him the best gift he could ever get.
Dan laid his hand on Phil’s shoulder. “Make a wish!”
Phil smiled at him and leaned down closer to the cake. “I don’t need anything else,” he thought and blew the candle out. He stood up and looked at Martyn, trying to signal him to speak up.
“Corn?” Martyn said.
“We wanted to take a moment to tell you something since we are all together here - the entire family,” she said, looking at them all. “We are having a baby.” She beamed. “I am four months pregnant!”
“Oh, Martyn!” his mum said, rubbing a few stray tears away and hugged his brother briefly before pulling Cornelia into a crushing hug. “This is wonderful!”
His dad shook Martyn’s hand before thinking about it for a moment and pulling him into a hug and Phil could have sworn he saw a single tear rolling down his cheek.
Then it was Dan’s turn to congratulate them and Cornelia asked if he was excited to become an uncle which almost made Phil cry. He just walked over to his brother and gave him a big hug, then he joined Dan in hugging Cornelia who merely laughed.
It was his favourite birthday so far.
---
The following months were a bit of a haze. Dan had stopped taking new patients the previous year to allow him to continue to work with Young Minds, continue acting occasionally and posting on YouTube. He also focused on his mental health book deal, which he’d gladly accepted at a minimum fee and promptly got to work.
It took him almost six months to write and it stressed him out to no end, but he found that he enjoyed the process as well. Phil often read bits and pieces of the book, but Dan was a bit overzealous of his draft until it was completely edited.
He also had a stand-up show written and its tour was in negotiations for the second half of the year. On the other hand, Phil had started his own secret project in the works; he allocated his free time for it fully but he wasn’t going to share it with Dan until he was sure it was what he wanted and had a direct plan of action. He took advantage of the fact that Dan was working his butt off to form a very concrete proposal to buy property together. It would be a huge step for them and he knew that Dan would probably drown in the what ifs if Phil didn’t have at least some ideas of how they could afford such a project and what they would be looking for.
In May, Phil finally felt ready to broach the subject. He took his plans and sat Dan for a talk at the breakfast bar.
“What’s up?” Dan asked, looking nervous and quite pale.
“Everything is alright. I just wanted to ask you something,” Phil said, placing a cup of tea in front of Dan. He opened his mouth to speak but found no words. He let out a little frustrated sigh. “Well… I’m buying a house.”
“Oh?” Dan frowned.
Phil raised his eyebrows at his own stupidity. “For us. For both of us to live together there.”
Dan visibly relaxed. “Oh, ok,” he said with a little laugh.
“Yeah, the thing is… I want to completely remodel it, but I want you to see it and tell me if you like it, if you like the area and to help me design it.”
“Oh, wow,” Dan said, pausing. “I love the idea but, how much money are we talking about?”
Phil had considered paying for it himself, but he knew better than offering something like that to Dan, he would never accept it. “Here,” he said, getting the folder from one of the small drawers in the kitchen.
“You were hiding this in the kitchen?” Dan asked with an amused smile.
Phil shrugged. “Why would you even be looking in there? How often do you cook, Danny boy?”
“Fair,” Dan mumbled, skimming through the pages of the three financial options Phil had presented to him. “I like the 50-50 one if I can just transfer the money to you every month.”
“That was my favourite one too. Now look at the pictures,” Phil said, turning a few pages. Each picture came with handwritten notes of his plan and questions for Dan.
Dan’s face transformed, his smile growing as he turned each page. “It’s gorgeous. Ohhh, the garden, Phil!” Dan said in wonder. “The inside is very old-fashioned but I like the bare bones. Can we afford to remodel it? I think that it could be a bit much.”
“We have the merch store, ad revenue, sponsors, you have your book, we have savings. I know that construction can get out of hand but it will probably take at least a year to complete it so I think we can manage it,” Phil said and braced himself. “All you need to agree to is to let me pay rent completely, at least until your earnings are more similar to mine.”
Dan pursed his lips. Phil could tell that he didn’t like the idea at all but he was in no position to argue. He was still catching up on his metrics. “Alright, but I will pay it back.”
“Don’t,” Phil said. “Put it aside for a trip to Japan. We’ve always wanted to go.”
“I like the sound of that,” Dan said. “Thank you, love.” He leaned in and pressed three quick kisses to Phil’s lips. “I love you!”
“Love you too,” Phil said, letting out a small sigh and taking the first sip of his tepid tea.
---
June 2019
Dan was a bit scared of how the so-called phannies would react to his stand-up so he did a few pre-shows - with unrelated material of course - at a small pub and it went amazingly well. They loved his style and the crude jokes. As it turned out, their viewers had grown with them and made it fairly evident that there had always been people of their own age and even older watching their content. As Dan had simply put it: “They’re old.”
Phil had known that most of their viewers were queer for quite a while but seeing the army of -mostly- lesbians at Dan’s small shows was a delight. It was a freeing experience for both of them. Dan got to make as many gay sex jokes as he wanted and people often matched his energy which made him incredibly happy and Phil got to see Dan be himself fully, be confident in his own identity and sexuality which also turned into a bit of a surprising self-discovery journey.
Phil had thought that he had been confident in his own skin for years and years but being semi-closeted in aspects of your life plays a weird game on your mind. The little offhand comments you’d get, or having to lie by omission to some weird intrusive questions, having to come up with made-up stories in interviews, it was all very tiring. Phil found that he also loved to make crude jokes in public, perhaps not as much in his videos but in his everyday life. It was just something that brought him a lot of joy.
It was a relief to be so secure in their relationship that when Dan joked about people sliding into his DMs and living his hot boy summer, Phil didn’t feel jealous at all. He knew that Dan was loyal to him and that what they had was a priority for both of them.
Before things got too busy and with the excuse of Dan’s birthday, they took a weekend trip to visit his family.
Phil stood before the same door he’d stood almost a decade prior and smiled at the bittersweet memories it brought. He knew that this time things would be different. With Dan’s homophobic father long gone from the family home, they weren’t as worried about things going awry, so his mind turned to the first few months after they met in person, when everything had changed. Sharing Dan’s bed, flirting, playing hours upon hours of video games and filming. Phil let out a sigh as he remembered Dan looking at him, the golden specks in his warm brown eyes dancing in the sunlight as he laughed, his hobbit hair wild and free.
“Ready?” Dan asked, pulling him from his musings.
Phil simply smiled at him and nodded, but before he could ring the doorbell, Karen opened the door, welcoming them and wrapping them into a tight hug each.
“Oh, Phil! It’s so good to see you again after so long! I’ve been asking Dan to bring you over forever,” she said.
“Thank you so much!” Phil said with a huge smile. A side eye Dan’s way revealed that he had been, in fact, asked to bring Phil over, if his beat red face and neck scratching was any indication. “He keeps me hidden, what can I say?”
She laughed and swatted Dan’s arm.
“I don’t!” Dan said. “We’ve just been busy, Mum.”
“Of course you have.” Karen rolled her eyes at her son and ushered them inside.
She pointed Phil towards one of the armchairs and Dan to the closest spot to him on the bigger sofa, choosing the other end of it for herself. As soon as Phil had taken his place, he felt two soft paws scratching at his legs. “Awww, Hi Colin! Nice to meet you!” Phil said as he helped the pup climb onto his lap. He gave Colin a kiss and turned his attention back to Dan’s mum. “How have you been?” he finally asked.
“Oh, you know how it is,” she said. “Teaching is very difficult with this newer generation, they are quite unruly, but I still love my job. How are you guys? Any new projects?”
Dan reached his hand to pet Colin absentmindedly but kept his eyes on his mum. “My book is out already and it did very well. People are saying they enjoyed it and that it helped them manage their mental health a bit better, so I’m happy about that. The tour is about to start, I brought you tickets, as you requested,” he said, fishing them out of his pocket and handing them over to her. “You can go with Nana and Popsie; Adrian wants to go on a different date.”
“Your brother is such a loose cannonball sometimes,” she shook her head but smiled. “Will your parents be there, Phil?” Karen asked although it didn’t really sound like a question. Phil realised that this was not Dan’s mother talking to him, it was his “Mother in Law” letting him know that she expected him to make it work so that both families could finally meet after so many years. There were expectations.
Phil blinked but he didn’t let his smile falter. He was a bit nervous, but he had, gladly, made the arrangements to save everyone the pain of flying over another time. It was not quite a middle ground but it was the best option.“Yes, of course. They love Dan and they’re very excited to see the show. All of our friends are going on different dates as well.” He kept petting Colin, who was trying to take a nap on his lap but kept opening his eyes every time Dan or Phil touched him.
“Did you warn Nana that it’s rude?” Dan asked, picking at the fabric of the sofa cushion.
“Yes, but she has been watching your videos, so she knows what to expect,” Karen said. “You should have her on your channel, I think she would like that very much.”
Dan sputtered. “I don’t know about that.”
“Aw, that would be so cute!” Phil said. “Also the viewers loved her comment about the Ipad and the old home videos where she tried to scare you. I think she’d be a hit.”
Karen nodded. “See? Phil agrees with me!”
“He’s just sucking up to you,” Dan said.
Phil laughed. “I would never!”
“Don’t be like that, Phil is very sweet and polite!” Karen said, patting Phil’s knee.
Phil stuck his tongue out to Dan.
The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of Dan’s grandparents and causing both Dan and Phil to stand and Colin to jump from his lap, throwing a reproachful look over his shoulder as he marched towards Dan.
“Hellooo,” Dan said, picking him up and going up to greet his grandparents.
Phil stood by his armchair and awkwardly waited for everyone to join him to shake Nana’s and Popsie’s hands as they sat on the big sofa with Karen, relegating Dan -and Colin- to the armchair across the room. Seeing Dan’s pout at being so far away from him made Phil regret not joining him on the big sofa when he got the chance.
Dan’s grandparents were extremely polite but a bit aloof at first. Dan had mentioned that they were open to the idea of him being gay but they hadn’t been in contact with any gay people per se, so they would have to try to act naturally to give them an idea of what they could expect. Basically, Dan had asked Phil to be himself and treat him as if they were alone at home, with as much pda or as little as he felt like doing.
“Phil, it is so nice to see you,” Dan’s grandma said, folding her hands on her lap.
Phil smiled. “Thank you,” he said and nodded at Popsie. “Nice to see you both again. I hope you remember me.”
“I do,” Dan’s grandma said, looking at Dan out of the corner of her eye. “Daniel couldn’t quite stop talking about you all the time so by the time I met you, I felt like I already knew you. That made it hard to forget you.”
Phil didn’t know what to say to that, so he smiled. It was a little bit funny, picturing Dan with his massive crush, going on and on about Phil.
“Nana, don’t make me sound so lame,” Dan said a bit too loudly, causing Colin to lift his head and huff. Dan looked at him apologetically and ruffled his fur.
“I am only telling the truth, if that makes you sound ‘lame’ as you put it…” she trailed off.
Phil burst out laughing and suddenly felt at ease with her. “You are delightful.”
“I’m going to be bullied the entire day, aren’t I?” Dan asked, pouting and flipping Colin’s ear inside out.
Popsie smiled at him and nodded before focusing on Phil. “So, what are your plans for the future?” he asked.
“For the future?” Phil asked, unsure of what to say, so he started speaking about work as per usual. “I have a lot of videos in the work, sponsors, my brother runs our merch company as well, but I do need to look things over. We are quite busy at the moment, especially with Dan going away on tour for a few months.” He looked at Dan across the room for any indication on how good of a reply that was but Dan merely shrugged.
“Well, that’s wonderful, but… we’ve been wondering if you two are going to get married, adopt children? I’m not sure how it’s done nowadays,” Popsie said with a small smile.
Dan sank further into his armchair, trying to make himself small and turned to talk to his mum, who completely ignored him in favour of listening to Phil’s answer.
Phil’s eyes widened, but he thought each and every single one of his movements carefully. He took account of how he was sitting, his posture, and his hands. He sat as a perfectly respectable human instead of a pile of goo; he squared his shoulders, laced his fingers on his lap and leaned forward trying to exude confidence. “Well, we haven’t discussed marriage quite yet, but we are buying property together this year.”
“You are?” Karen asked, beaming and looking between Dan and Phil.
Dan nodded but let Phil do the talking.
“Yes, it was my idea,” Phil said. “As you may know, Dan and I have quite a bit of history and it took us some time to repair our friendship and build a strong and loving relationship, so we are taking things slow to make sure that we are doing things the right way.”
“That is good! It’s important to take the time to consider things and not just jump into a wedding,” Karen said, looking pointedly at her mother. “A house sounds wonderful. May I ask if it will be under both of your names?”
Phil nodded. “Yes. We have already decided how we will split the cost, and since we are going to remodel it before moving in, it will probably be a long process.”
“Where are you buying?” Popsie asked, giving him what Phil assumed was an approving look.
“Kensington,” Phil said. “It’s a three-story house with a huge back garden.” He pulled his phone out and showed them a few pictures.
“It looks like a good place for a family,” Dan’s grandma said.
“Please, no mention of children,” Dan whined, pulling Colin to lay on his chest and wrapping his arms around him.
“Don’t you want children, Daniel?” she asked.
“Not right now,” Dan said with a frown. “We have a lot of work ahead. If it happens it will happen.”
“But how?” Popsie asked, cocking his head. “I don’t mean to be rude, of course, but I don’t understand.”
Phil saw a mix of embarrassment and anger forming in Dan’s face, but he could see that Popsie was just trying to understand, so he took over the conversation. “Well, neither of us will be getting pregnant,” he laughed. “But gay couples have different options, or rather, we have the same options as most couples dealing with infertility, like adoption, or getting eggs from a donor and paying a surrogate to carry the child, or simply to remain child-free. Like I said, at the moment we are focusing on ourselves and our relationship, anything else will come in the future, when we have the proper time and money to make it happen.” Phil ventured a look at Dan and found nothing but gratitude and love in his eyes.
“Yes,” Dan said, the smile slowly returning to his face. “I may be just a little selfish here, but I don’t want to share Phil with anyone at the moment, and if we decided to have children, a wedding would probably happen first. For now, we have our house to focus on and our projects.”
Karen smiled and patted Dan’s hand. “It sounds like you have a wonderful life together.”
“We do,” Dan said, his smile widening. “And I am very happy.”
“That’s all that matters then,” Dan’s grandma said and clapped her hands once. “Congratulations to you both.”
Popsie smiled and nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much, Daniel. It is a relief to still be alive to see you so happy.”
“Well, don’t take it as a sign to die,” Dan said, letting out an awkward laugh. “That would not make me very happy.”
“It’s not my time yet,” Popsie chuckled.
The doorbell rang once again and Karen walked over to the window, pulling the curtains back. “Looks like the pizza is here!” she said, giving Phil an apologetic look before walking over to the door.
“Karen! Pizza? While having company over? Why didn’t you cook something?” Dan’s grandma said, getting up and walking after her daughter.
“I’m not a great cook and I didn’t want to stress about it,” Karen said.
“But I am, I could have made something!”
Karen waved her off. “It’s fine and Phil loves pizza, don’t you Phil?”
“I do!” Phil added and finally remembered that as a guest he should probably offer to carry the pizzas. “I can take that to the kitchen,” he said.
“You are such a darling, Phil. Always so polite!” Karen said, handing him the boxes.
Out of the corner of his eye, Phil saw Popsie sliding closer to Dan and whispering something as he placed a hand on his shoulder and watched Dan rub his cheek quickly to wipe a few tears as he nodded and smiled.
Phil let out a sigh of relief. Everything was finally falling into place. Both families had accepted them with love and respect for them and the relationship they shared. It was all they had ever wanted.
---
October 2019
October brought many milestones. They celebrated their first anniversary as an official couple and the 10th anniversary of the day they first met.
The celebration itself was more of an improvised dinner date at their new home, in which construction had just started, sitting on a blanket, basically having a picnic and wine. Maybe it would not be considered the most romantic set up by the majority of people, but to them it was. It symbolised so many achievements and the hard work that they had put on themselves, their friendship and their relationship, as well as being their first property. In a way, it was the most romantic celebration they could have put together. There were no aesthetic decorations, fancy restaurants or public displays, it was just them - together, sharing a moment.
Dan grabbed a slice of pizza and moaned dramatically as he bit into it.
Phil laughed at his antics. God, he loved how Dan made him laugh with the simplest gestures. He loved Dan, his curly hair, his warm brown eyes, that low voice he used when it was just the two of them. He loved Dan dressed to the nines or only in his joggers and a stained T-shirt, his eyes falling shut from how tired he was. He loved Dan naked too, when it was just him, no decoration, no masks, just Dan. He loved Dan so much that he sometimes felt his heart would burst out of his chest at any moment.
“What?” Dan asked mid chew.
Phil snorted. “You have stubble now,” he said, cupping Dan’s cheek and rubbing his thumb on his chin.
“I’ll get it tomorrow,” Dan said.
“Don’t,” Phil smiled. “I like it.”
“I thought you said it was too rough on your skin,” Dan said.
“Maybe I like it rough,” Phil said with an awkward wink.
Dan laughed and threw a piece of crust his way.
“Hey, be nice!” Phil said.
“I’m always nice,” Dan said, pointing at his bruised forehead. “Today I slammed my head into the cabinets again and I didn’t even yell at you about it.”
“Is that why you were cursing this morning?”
“Yes, but I let you have a lie in instead of going to you to complain.”
“You could have joined me,” Phil said, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite.
“I wanted to clean so that you don’t have to keep up with everything while I’m gone,” Dan said, his smile dropping a bit.
“That’s actually very sweet of you,” Phil said.
Dan pretended to retch. “Shut up,” he said, very fondly. It was the first time that they would be apart for an extended period of time since they got back together. Phil could hardly remember what life without Dan was like, but it was necessary. He would support every single solo project Dan had, and help him spread his wings, in the same way Dan supported him.
This was the time for Dan to spend some time with his followers without Phil’s presence, except in the occasional show.
“I’m going to miss you and go a bit crazy,” Phil admitted.
“You can always come to visit me on the road.”
“Maybe I will,” Phil said and leaned in to press a quick kiss to Dan’s lips.
“Please do,” Dan said, sounding a little smaller, perhaps like a lost child.
“Aww,” said Phil and gave him a quick succession of kisses on the lips. Three for good luck. “You will do amazingly, they will love you.”
“What if I fuck up on stage?” Dan frowned.
“Then they will laugh with you, which is the point of the show,” Phil said. “You know what to do already, just be yourself.”
“Sometimes I panic and consider cancelling.”
Phil nodded. “I know, I can see it in your eyes from time to time, but I also know that you were made to do this. You have to go out there and make little theatre kid Dan proud.”
“I know, but I could also just go live in the woods,” Dan said, only half joking.
“You are afraid of trees, and the show starts next week. It’s too late to back out now,” Phil laughed, patting his leg.
Dan snorted a laugh. “Yeah,” he said, shifting slightly and laying back onto Phil’s lap. “I love you, you know?” he asked, looking up at Phil.
“Yeah, I know,” Phil said, running his fingers through Dan’s curls. “I love you too.”
“Enough to keep my plants alive while I am away?” Dan smirked.
“I can’t promise that,” Phil laughed. “But I can promise that the house will still be standing when you come back - probably.”
Dan laughed, his eyes crinkling with happiness. “Probably.”
---
Dan’s stand-up show “We’re all doomed” opened to a full theatre of fans who had shown up to support him. Their excitement permeated the air and got into Phil. He was there to see his favourite person perform.
Phil danced in his seat while the pre show playlist boomed through the speakers. His smile widened when Dan came onto the stage. He felt a hand resting on his own, turned to his side and looked into his mother’s eyes, her smile matching his.
His heart sang as he watched Dan perform, giving it his all, working the stage and feeding off the audience’s energy.
He loved the show, he really did, but watching both of their families laugh along with Dan’s jokes and look at him proudly had to be one of Phil’s favourite memories from that night.
As the show came to a close, Dan came on stage one last time to thank the audience and looked up to the gallery where his people were. He made direct eye contact with Phil and placed his hand on his heart, smiling widely and mouthing a silent “I love you,” and Phil wanted to keep that image engraved in his mind forever.
It had taken such a long time to get to this point, but they were finally where they wanted to be, together, and even though Phil didn’t forget everything that had happened, all the heartache, all the hardships, he didn’t doubt for a second that it had all been worth it. God, he loved Dan so much, and he was going to spend the rest of his life making him happy - just as happy as Dan made him.
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☁️🍃 Q&A MASTER THREAD ☁️🍃
Curious on what shenanigans the boys have up their sleeves? Send us your questions from one of the social medias listed below and we'll quench your curiosity!
🌤️ https://retrospring.net/@meriwether_zine
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📩 [email protected]
Q: Hello! I was wondering who the finance and shipping moderator is for the zine! ^^
A: Hi! We currently don't have them as of now, but we will be opening moderator applications on the 25th of July! Please look forward to it~ ☁️🍃
---
Q: Hello! I’m not sure if you’re aware but there’s already an ongoing zine with the same kind of theme/concept. How will this zine be different aside from it being open to all application? /gen
A: Hello! We were not aware of another ongoing zine with similar themes as ours. Upon further research, we did find an ongoing project that you might be referring to. We would like to not publicly mention which it is as to not assume, but we make this zine with a focus purely on Modern AU retelling of the Anemo boys, with no ship being featured (platonic relationship of the boys). We are also aiming to feature both artists and writers. Depending on Interest Checks results, we would like to feature cosplayers as well! Hope that answers!
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Q: Does contributor application require any prior experience of for-profit zine?
A: Contributors do not need prior experience of participating in a for-profit zine to apply!
As stated in our FAQs and Info Doc, everyone is welcome to apply regardless of whether you've participated in a zine or not.
You'll only need a strong portfolio, be above 18+ and have a Paypal account to be able to receive the compensation! You are able to opt out of the compensation and donate your amount, as well!
For more info, check out our FAQ and Info Doc here!
---
Q: Hello! I see that there is a finance mod listed on the carrd, but the mod application asks that shipping mods also handle production. Can you clarify what exactly are the roles of the finance mod and the production/shipping mod for this project? Would the finance mod not also handle production? (I.E. the ordering of merch)
A: Hello! Finance Mod will handle the technical side of things that surrounds the zine's finances such as calculating cost for production, shipping costs, taxes, bundle prices, breakeven goals, and keeping track of the zine's money and transaction. In other words, the Finance Mod will be in charge of the math. While Production/Shipping Mod will be in charge of the logistics side of things such as contacting the manufacturers, ordering from the manufacturers, quality checking all the goods and merchandise, packing the orders, and shipping the orders. All that involves producing the actual items will be handled by the Production/Shipping Mod. Both of these mods will work closely with each other as their scope of work will be deeply involved.
---
Q: It’s more so a question about updates; but I was wondering if there would be like a main Social media used? Like Twitter would be the most consistent in updates and Instagram is like a barely thing; I’m kinda experiencing this right now as I don’t have a Twitter but a zine I’ve been looking at mostly updates there and it’s hard to keep up with updates because of that.
A: We don't plan to have a main social media and (continue) we try to update consistently throughout all our socials! We're working on making a Q&A thread for both our Instagram and Tumblr to compile all the questions we've received from Retrospring and Google Forms.
Any updates will also be posted on all our social medias. Although for text only updates it's a bit hard to do so on Instagram, but we will try to post stories for any text updates and put them on our highlights! Hope this covers your concerns!
Our crew is very open for input and suggestions. We're still setting things up for our Q&A thread for Tumblr and Instagram so keep an eye out!
---
Q: If we click the option to work as a pitch hitter, does that mean we're only applying to be a pitcher or can we still get a spot as an artist/writer?
A: Hi there!
Yes, you're still primarily applying for the artist/writer position, even if you select pinch hitter! Those are simply for people who wish to be considered and contacted in the case of someone else having to drop out of the project.
Hopefully that helps!
- Meriwether Mod Team 🍃☁️
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Q: are you guys choosing based on follower count? 😅
A: Hello! We will be judging applicants purely by skill. Follower count does not influence our decision
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Q: What is required to submit in our contributor applications?
A: Hello! We will be judging applicants purely by skill. Follower count does not influence our decision
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Q: Hi! I'm sorry I'm not sure if the question I had has been sent, or I may have sent it halfwritten! I hope I can send it again to make sure: are page artist contributor applicants allowed to have some sfw ship content in their samples/portfolios? I understand this zine is looking for applicants who can make sfw non-ship pieces for the zine. Thank you!
A: Yes, you are allowed to have ship content in your samples and portfolio! We only require you to make a non-ship centered piece if you are accepted into the zine.
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Q: Are different gender headcanons allowed? Like for instance I usually headcanon Venti as non-binary and Wanderer as trans. Is that alright?
A: Hello, yes we allow different gender headcanons! Though, we'll be leaning towards more masc presenting, androgynous, and/or gender neutral headcanons.
---
Q: Hello, for your writing contributor applications, I read that you require 3 samples of written work that fulfills the guidelines. However, in the form, I see that you've written "Please provide a portfolio containing 3-10 of your best pieces." Do we need more than 3 samples? Because I see that the "Portfolio" form section requires an answer. If we have already provided links for 3 samples in the previous sections, what are you expecting in the "portfolio" section? Will an ao3 link suffice or are you looking for a link to a google drive with the previous 3 samples included together? Apologies if I over-explained, I was just a bit confused. Thanks so much!
A: Hi! For writer apps, the required samples are 3 written works that fulfill the guidelines! These works are the ones we will look into first. Providing more than 3 best pieces (up to 10) is optional--you can showcase your best works here! As for portfolio, an AO3 link is sufficient. The portfolio is for us to see all the works you've done to better appreciate them. Hope that explains!
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Q: Hello! I wanted to ask if any sort of genre is allowed for writing submissions (sfw, of course). like if all of my samples are only one type of fanfic (ex. shipfics only, reader-inserts only, platonic only, etc) is that okay?
I want to send in my portfolio, but most of my work is in another category as I've yet to upload any fics in the style which the zine will use ><
A: All sorts of genre are allowed, as long as they're SFW! We don't limit the portfolio to be non-ship, but if you have created a work that fits into our theme we would like to see that as well~ So, if you do have one, be sure to submit that along with your other samples!
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Q: Hello. Is it possible for an account that posts nsfw to apply contribution? The samples and portofolio are completely sfw
A: That is indeed possible, as long as the samples and portfolio are completely SFW! If you happen to have any NSFW work in your portfolio, please don't forget to put a content warning or trigger warning for sensitive material. Thank you~
---
Q: hello..! i just wanted to ask why you want contributors to write a short intro about themselves and answer an optional "why do you want to apply" question. this makes it sound like you're expecting to also receive a cover letter and resume in order to be considered a role in this zine. it's a little questionable because as far as i know, zines are semi-professional, but they aren't (or shouldn't be) professional professional; it's a fun project that people collaborate on because they like the theme/subject. i could also be completely wrong and this just is the direction you want to take it, and in that case i do apologize 🙇 simply curious….!
A: Hello! We appreciate that you give a lot of thought and read our form thoroughly~ Like other zines, this zine is indeed a fun project! The short intro is meant for all applicants to introduce themselves so that we may get to know you--you are of course free to introduce yourself in a fun way! As for the optional question, it is optional, so you don't have answer it--though, you are free to include the reason you want to apply (we had a contributor joined to feed the community with more Heizou content)!
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It seems your hunch was right: the merchants definitely seem more willing to speak to you with Kuki's mask on your person. They indulge you when you ask about their routes, though most of the ones they tell you about seem to lead to other parts of Kamui. When you ask about going further, they've all given you strange looks, with a few asking if you plan to cross by sea. It seems leaving might be trickier than you thought...
"Well now," eventually comes a voice from behind you, "what a pleasant surprise to see you up and about."
When you turn, you can't find who's speaking. Thankfully, if Akemi has taught you one thing, it's to look down before taking any steps around you. What you find is another poncle... actually three of them, though you immediately recognize the one in the middle.
"I think I should be saying the same to you!" You offer Ikken as best a bow as you can at your height, and you're pretty sure he offers you one back (at least you think he does, it's admittedly a little hard to see with him down at your feet.) "You're a bit far from Ponc'tan, no?"
"I'm here on business. Even training another, I'm still the current Celestial Envoy for now." He holds up a hand to steady his guards when you carefully take a knee in the snow, and you swear the glow around him warms. "It's good to see you faring much better than when we met. I see the oina have even warmed up to you."
"Well, some of them." You offer him a bit of a shrug. "Even then, I'm sure none of it would have happened without the poncles' aid." As soon as you say that, something clicks in your brain, and idea pops into your head. "Actually, if I may be so bold, I'd like to ask your help one more time. Or at least a question only you can answer."
Well that certainly has Ikken's attention. He gestures for your hand to hop up into your palm, and you wait for him to settle before lifting him more comfortably into your sight. "When the Celestial Envoys go out to spread word of the gods, how do they travel beyond Kamui?"
"You don't plan to stay in Wep'keer?" You shake your head, and Ikken tilts his the other way. "Do you hope to follow the next envoy when he's ready, then?"
"I'm planning to go south," you clarify, "I have other destinies that I'll need to see to."
That has Ikken humming a bit, a hand going to his chin in thought. "I suppose the work of a prophet would keep him busy," he muses, "especially in times like these." After a moment of humming and musing, the poncle in your hands looks back up. "There's a tunnel in the southern part of Kamui that leads to the rest of Nippon, in less time than it takes to cross by sea. I doubt you'll fit through the entrance we poncles take, but the space it leads to is much more human sized."
Well that's incredibly promising. You're starting to wonder why no one ever thought to tell you about this before. "And the Oina don't use it?" you muse as Ikken offers a shrug.
"I can only assume they don't know how. Honestly, I can't say I completely know how the big folk would use it. I've never seen the door open at your height." Oh. That's... admittedly less promising, even as Ikken continues. "Though, if the poncles can use it, I'm sure someone the gods favor enough to live among them might be able to find a way as well."
You really don't know how well that confidence is placed, but you're willing to check it out if it means you won't need to find someone willing to ferry you across the ocean. (Ugh, what a way to find out that the thought of boarding any sort of boat again makes you feel a little ill...) "I'm sure I can figure it out. Can you show me where it is?"
"I'm afraid the journey's a bit far for me, especially when I have both a village to attend to and an envoy to train." You don't need to see his face to know exactly what look he's giving you. "But if you're willing to carry me the rest of the way to see Moshiri, I think I might have an idea for who can."
#Okami#Waka#I noticed a few of the oina NPCs talk about sailing to the other parts of Nippon from Kamui#so I can only assume the way you go back and forth in game has some weird temporal nonsense going on#There's a lot of fun things opened up to you when you're either a god or favored by them#Journey through Nippon
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The White Dove Pt 27 - There is Magic, There are Pandas, There is Carnage
Was a day late week before last so here it is a day early. Hope you guys enjoy it and do please let me know what you think of the new faces introduced or anything else that catches your fancy. :)
The White Dove Masterlist
...
Finally you were out in the fresh air for the half hour trek to Columbia where mainly those in the Science Wing knew but were kind enough not to bring it up. Doctor Connors when you had a free moment smiled walking with you between classes to say, “Got our spider research up and running, first nest is already beginning to harden off and I cannot wait to trade notes on that ship of yours. Any progress?”
“Have about ten feet clear of barnacles and the crust. Pretty slow going, eventually I’ll have it naked and ready to see what I can do with it to clean it up.”
“The beauty has been hidden a long while and everyone will be patient while you uncover more of it.” He said widening your grin and his own at the lift of your spirit on the way to when your paths split and he was off to check on his research while you were off to sit in a seat lost in the sea of tiered desks.
.
“Da?” you answered in Russian the call from the Director of the adaptation of The Nutcracker you had been in, while in wait for the signal to cross the street to get from the subway back to the path to Midtown again.
Every question clarifying your place still in New York and readiness of your body to peak show levels for the real drop of news that had you sit down on the half wall outside the front entrance of Midtown. Silently you sat in their offer to have you play Aurora in a new take on Sleeping Beauty to be performed by another team from Bolshoi Ballet Company who hoped to have you dance with them again for a full run of a show this time around.
No matter what you had to agree to further your chances to have this happen again to add to a history of roles to possibly land you amongst a company of dancers if you wished to go that route later on. Paperwork and details would be sent within the next couple weeks so that you could plan accordingly with ample time to adjust class work and your job shifts as well as warning Eddie on this change.
Shaking your head you tried to focus as messages came from fellow dancers who hoped to possibly at least get a glimpse into your place this time around that had you worried on not having enough space for very many of them.
This would just take some fine wording to get everyone on board and the most convincing plan to have the smoothest path to land your tiny self on that stage come November. All of October when they had arrived you would be training with them on the role to fit the show they had been working on since January now to have its title role.
.
“Bill, bill,” you muttered to yourself. Ignoring the spot on the stairs you had been snatched from only to pause outside your apartment door at the letter from the second hand furniture shop where you had gotten your ancestor’s wardrobe. “Hmm,” you said, then looked up as your apartment door was opened to reveal Eddie, wide eyed and anxious to see his baby sister.
“You forgot your lunch,” he said and stepped aside. Ushering you into the apartment with a buffet of food to help lift your spirits along with a warm hug while Venom took hold of your bags he set down for you on the couch then came back to join in the sniffle laced embrace.
“Can’t believe that Hussy hijacked your post gym session meal. I’ll stake out the place next time and guard the corner so he won’t pester your time alone.”
“I mean where does it say that if I’m crying I have to be forced in someone’s company? Just because he’s some star spangled soldier of ridiculousness does not mean I need him to calm me down.” You said as he pulled back to guide you to the food.
“He’s the last one who could do that, him and Stark, bottom of the barrel for emotional support.”
“And he had the gall to say he doesn’t throw his shield at civilians,” you said taking a large bite of your food making him grumble a scoff around his mouthful.
After he swallowed he said, “Bull, steaming big seven foot pile of bullshit. He’s thrown that thing at you three times out of your armor in rebound shots while trying to take other guys out. Nearly caused that balcony to collapse on you if Isaiah hadn’t tugged you out of the way.”
“Last thing I need is his pity,” you said accepting the envelope two of your bees had fetched and added a stamp to for you to add the cash for the meal you would mail later on when you were off for your next shift. “Man jumped out of a plane to go save Bucky back in the war now he’s resting on his laurels waiting for his bestie to just saunter in through the door on his own. Guess obviously there is something missing in his eyes to not risk life and limb in a world he dislikes to save his friend from mental captivity this time around.”
“Think he’s just hiding behind a technicality, not able to get around some legal loophole to do as he pleases. Either that or the man had unbridled anxiety of facing Hydra again after seeing how the world has changed while he was frozen.”
“Needs to stop lying to himself.” You said taking another bite of your food to not focus on the Super Soldier who interfered with your cathartic try to get over an emotionally devastating task you had to take on. Now muddled internally you still felt both the pain of their death, your abduction and torture afterwards on top of what you could only place as rage for having to be the one to legally declare them dead. Both behind why you were taken and they were killed now you had to confirm for the world you knew they were never going to come back submitting those papers somehow was almost more painful than what you had endured for those eight years.
The mail still at your side had him ask, “You had your mail? Something important?”
“Oh, I got a letter from the furniture shop. Maybe it’s a sale or something.”
“Open it,” he said taking another bite of his food causing you to do the same then lower your fork to lift the envelope you turned over to break the seal and bring out the letter inside.
“Hmm,” you said chewing as you read to yourself then summarized aloud after swallowing. “He remembered about my great great grandfather building that wardrobe and they found another one. Said he’s holding it for me.”
“That’s nice of him, they’re super rare he could have just waited to hock it for the most cash possible.” You nodded and he asked, “What else did I miss?”
“Got a call from Bolshoi,” you said earning a nod from him echoed by a spreading smile as you shared news on the job offer he was pleased to hear about. “Some of the dancers said they wanted to see my place though. I don’t really entertain here.”
“Well we can find you some more seating,” he said knowing you had been using your whale chairs to help organize your school things to not mix them up and to grab with ease and go in the mornings. And in your deep inhale he knew to be the start of a try to backtrack to keep him from feeling obligated he said, “I need a good table anyways, and you could use a desk, something nice.”
“Alright, maybe they’ll have that same marble looking table that was kind of cheap.”
“Anything you want after this I’m getting for you.” He said with a grin that you couldn’t help but to mirror feeling at least in his and Venom’s presence you were safe at least from feeling any worse than you already did with the only family the world now knew you to have.
.
Right away the wardrobe beside the counter the man stood at had the knot in your belly lift up an inch to the smooth of fingers over its doors. And the man with glee started up the delivery form while you and Eddie began to browse. A duo of tables had you both freeze however, someone with an online shop needed to liquidate some of their inventory to make room for more and two resin and oak tables were now added to the delivery list. Yours in bright clouds of blue resin around honeycomb patterned oak pieces while his was cut more like a river of black glitter filled resin out of the oak chunks like an above view of a river reflecting the starry night sky through a desert.
More seating came next and for an eight foot long slightly curved green corner in the back of the shop you found your choice. Out of forest green velour a slightly curved couch whose back sloped from right to left in a hill to sink then rose again and end lower than the other side as if to split a loveseat section from an individual slot with a single shared cushion to join the spots together called to you. In front of that along with it came two woven knot velour poof footrests that to finish off the list would be sent to your places as soon as the delivery team were back from their late lunch post morning delivery.
“These are nice.” Star backed plushy dining chairs in glittery black material were added to the items of the purchase. To be partnered with his new table so he could get rid of the tattering borderline lawn chairs he had been using for years now since the move to his place he’d found for free uptown and brought home. Softly he gasped seeing the trio of chairs Venom pooled out under his jeans to turn him towards what the symbiote wanted.
“Ooh,” you said, silently agreeing to his draw to the plushy armchairs in a fabric fluffy like wool on sheep in appearance but soft like fur. The round base on four angled wooden peg legs curved up with two arms flat to the base and back that rose up to be topped by rounded bear ears. Black and white like a panda in pattern two large chairs for Mama and Papa Bear sat around a smaller chair for Baby Bear in a Goldilocks themed set. “Even Buddy gets a seat,” you teased making him chuckle and share with the man they were being added.
A sale he greatly appreciated to free up more space and had him remind the second worker to go fetch the pair of ostrich feather lamps like yours in coral that had come in the week prior Eddie agreed he wanted. Turning to keep going he chuckled in awe and went closer to a hand carved wardrobe in mahogany, that unlike yours had a seated panda carved into the doors on the top half with hidden drawers disguised as reeds of bamboo carved across the lower half. “Oh this is nice.” And he just about had the man explode with glee in pointing out a final addition of a colorful misty blue resin and wood, the upper half visible through the oval shaped top part of a hippo’s head and back hips, the lower half adorably capturing the creature mid prance through a river with a foot raised to take its next happy step.
Again you seemed to be the odd customer to claim what he didn’t have use for and couldn’t imagine selling. To be honest he did try to sell the wardrobe. But pieces in this country weren’t nearly as important compared to other defunct designers and would have had him shipping out of the country to make a decent payday. A hassle he didn’t need or want so at least for your own connection he knew there would be one eager to at least inspect the piece if not buy it right away. Delivery was confirmed while you and Eddie each carried one of his lamps out of the store the man was mentally rearranging to bring in newer more broadly welcoming pieces now that these harder to sell ones were off his hands.
.
“So,” Eddie said on your walk to the subway to get home again for the deliveries, “Do you want the lawn chairs at the shop? Could melt or break them down or use them to climb on the ship if you need it.”
“Sure,” you said with a quick nod wondering if you’d be able to sleep tonight. “Could always use more surfaces.”
“Wanna tinker a bit?” he asked luring a hint of a grin from you, “And I can crash at yours for sleep if you want.”
“Tinker yes, the other, maybe. I feel weird, felt like screaming before the gym, then crying, now I just feel, weird.” He nodded and down the steps for the subway you both trotted and aimed yourselves for the proper train and once inside you both went to an empty standing spot in the back where you said, “I knew.” That had his eyes on you again, “I was there, I knew.”
That had him settle around your back in a comforting hug that made some more room for others passing you by to take up the bench trying to ignore your odd Dr Suess like lamps, “Always hurts worse seeing it in stone. Take it from a fellow orphan. When people stop looking your way post wake things’ll die down.”
After a nod from you his head came to rest on top of your head and you leaned back into his hold asking, “Do you think vibration will help?”
“For the barnacles?” he asked and you nodded again. “I mean it could, irritate their roots a bit before the solution hits them. You actually managed to get the twitch box up and running?”
“Got it rewired fixing up the lunch I didn’t take in. I think it shouldn’t make the ship light on fire, if I didn’t try it tonight I’d have waited for Elliot on his drop by tomorrow. Trying not to be scared of the ship.” Making him chuckle, “Said there’s no metal that can damage it but still doesn’t mean I can’t lop off part of the hull if I get a bit careless.”
“You are not careless. And I’m certain Vili did much more damage than you ever could,” making you smirk to yourself. For the rest of the ride you shared your thoughts on the process of clearing off the crust to see just how the ship looked underneath to see the true condition of the base to work off of.
Together in two stops you showed the delivery men on where to take the things. Eddie chose to be second so that you could change out of your nice outfit to something able to be dirtied or destroyed and then meet him outside of his place to walk together to the garage. He left you behind and carried his lamps to show the men into his place that was double the size of yours with not even a third of the furniture you had. Each piece made new spaces, or like his chairs expanded on his sitting area, where he could focus those areas instead of his big empty place not much comfort beyond room to pace on his worst nights.
What looked to be a palm sized air pump and attached wire ends were fixed in your hand when you met him outside his building in the freshly cleaned set of clothes from when you had been stolen with the other children of this planet.
Tucked under his arms were the chairs he excitedly carried with him to help you get started. Even if it meant he had to go a night without sleep to ensure you were able to get to the next day without too much harm to your usual pattern and schedule knowing how badly that set you off each time it happened before.
“You know I’m proud of you,” he said once inside the garage that had you look up at him in taking hold of two of the chairs. “Got into school all on your own and accepted to a second, getting calls from a top dance company. Building things this generation can’t compare to, I love you, and I am so proud of you.”
Venom out of his neck eased, “We are, little one.” And with a nod you turned your head to blink away the tears in your eyes. To help distract you Venom announced what he realized, “Eldfalls has begun to hum again.”
“Elliot says it will, linked to my genetic makeup now. Wonder if that means if that means it passes down by blood heirs or not.”
Venom answered, “Not likely. One would assume if their bonded master is destroyed they would not be capable to test others for lineage if the child was not raised around the craft.”
Eddie spoke again, “How did Columbia go?”
“Good, Dr Connors began to share on his experiment. Spiders are nesting so progress is well on pace.”
At the glint of a look that flinched across your face he asked, “You don’t like hearing about his progress?”
“No,” finishing to set up the chairs along the wall, setting down the device to fetch the bucket of solution still left from the day prior you left to grow stronger in its time left to do so. “I do. I just know he’s bound to ask me about my papa’s code on labeling various genetic makeup on creatures as obviously the various layers of the spider capabilities he is adapting are covering for some form of regeneration and strength manipulation tactic for Oscorp to market.”
While you turned to glance his way he gave a quick nod asking, “And that’s, bad?”
Softly you sighed and answered, “It worked,” you said parting his lips, “His synthesized process to adapt regeneration codes from certain animals when applied to human DNA worked. Mama’s condition was improving, her Chorea was nearly reversed entirely, before Hydra broke in to take me. What I based my allergy shots and emergency compound off of. Loosely, you have to make his off the genes of the subject while mine is less efficient but a broader band aid for triage purposes.”
“So, Connors if he used that research could actually make it work. Wow,” the last bit he added with a sharp puff of air. “I don’t want Oscorp to have that.”
“No, he’d just sell it in bottles to make more Super Soldiers like Stark Senior did.”
“Hydra didn’t get those notes, did they?”
“No, never kept that at home, hid it with our digital backup. Only submitted what he had to for his patent for the process and only ‘Mad Scientists’ would dare to pick up where those left off.” You said making him smirk your way, “I know, I picked it up. And to be honest Mama’s work on genetic predecessor markers only enhanced his work tenfold upon their sharing and comparing notes.”
After a moment he asked, “They ever give you a shot?”
“Mainly antibiotics when I would fall hurt, what I can recall. Papa used to work at the children’s clinic as well when the regular Doctor went on trips out of town, he took me there for that. Mama said I never was hurt for very long when I was, so I think my healing came first before the magic.” And like a switch being tapped with a mental finger you realized how you had been addressing your parents aloud as you did when alone to your adopted brothers. “I know the compound for the Super Serum and I can’t find any traces aside from allergies in my makeup left in me, and even that seems to be waning with my own healing. I don’t know where that came from aside from the Norns delegating it so.”
“Not a big leap to think you could change the medical world to live on its head if you wanted to take that path. Course we have to keep Big Brother’s hands off it outside of the Vet system obviously.”
“But he’ll do fine, wrote a book on his field, if he won’t then it’s a waste of paper. For now, we can see how this works out and fingers crossed it doesn’t spark up Eldfalls to shoot me across town.” You said making him chuckle.
“Highly doubt it wouldn’t give a warning shot first,” he asked in a move closer to pat the bare strip of metal you already had cleared with his palm. “Earth boats are female, would it be the same with ships from Asgard?”
“I don’t know, hasn’t said anything to me and it wasn’t in the notes.”
And as a grin eased across his lips he asked, “Are we filming? Please tell me we are filming.”
“We are,” you said grinning back. “Have to keep record of the progress.” Carefully on the side of the ship your hand rested as you said softly, “Heimdall, you would send a warning shimmer of light or something first if I was set to blow myself up, right?” A question that had the golden eyed gatekeeper smile to himself at the obvious fact that he would.
Off to your right your recording bee ready to do so hovered in clear view of the section of ship in front of yourself including the bucket at your feet and Eddie as he added his chosen gloves to not harm his skin from the solution to remove the barnacles matching the ones he tucked into your back pocket.
With a smile you looked at the recording bee and said, “Welcome, again back to Queens where myself and Eddie are burning the night oil back at work on returning Eldfalls here to its former glory.”
The Swedish sentence flowing out of you had Eddie grin to himself. Recalling how your prior videos in your native tongue that had a few comments from Norway. Who had found it amusing in your tries to clarify a few things in that tongue which you had been trying to gain fluency in as well but found it difficult as for how close it was to Swedish to keep the two straight when you got to rambling. The country with ample references to your late relations there from your father’s side, not unlike those formerly from Denmark for your mother’s, both with languages you recalled your parents using but somehow felt a mental scar there that twinged with pain in tries to become fluent in them.
“Now I have a contraption I have tweaked a bit, this will send pulses and vibrations through the metal that I hoped might help to loosen the coating off of the outer shell and we will gradually work our way up to see how much we can go to get some wiggle room at least from those barnacle roots.”
Like suction cups the square pads were stuck in a curve up against the crust border you secured what you hoped to be the best points to work effectively then pulled out one glove first to ease on while the other hand held the control box. A simple turn of the dial and flip of the power switch had the already soft hum of the ship grow a bit lower in the evident buzz of the pads that seemed to have a few specks of rust fall off of the crust already.
“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Eddie mused and helped to use an empty squeeze bottle to angle the solution to spill under the crust you used a wide chisel to slide under the hard layer that only eased more of the liquid out. Barely the vibration seemed to help so you noted aloud that you were turning the setting up a few more times to show varying results until upon the final change a capture of the wide eyed reaction to the clear split heard down the side of the ship.
“Was that a good crack or a bad crack?” you whispered to Eddie who shrugged and was the one to ease closer and spray a bit of the solution, that to his and your awe bubbled up down a significant five foot stretch of the ship. Excitedly you let out a squeak and neared to scrape as much off as possible to continue freeing up more naked metal. “So we seem to be on a roll so I think this is as good a time as any for a montage,” you said wiggling fingers at your sides viewers would enjoy later.
Music later would be added under the sped up footage showing larger chunks down one side and around the front and back curved edges with loud splits of crust that dropped off the bottom of the ship. Almost rust stained panels covered the newly revealed stretches of what seemed to be more scale than overlapping panels of the same non Midgard native metal your bees already had analyzed to be able to copy the atomic structure to reproduce later on.
Hours you worked up a storm until you had to give in and head home for Eddie to spend the night on your new green couch nearby to your bed to know you could sleep with company and not wake up alone. Subtitles in varying languages were added to the video for viewers to choose from later. Detailed scans had been captured as you worked to compile more assumed images of what could be hidden to join the scans your bees had taken of the inner compartments and mast to repair those later on.
*.*.*
“Wonder how she does it,” Mariah said in a lunch out with May and her uncle who had seen the recorded footage of the rehearsal for Color Guard you had stood as one of the routine sharers amongst other Seniors. “Barely got any sleep then head first all day to two campuses and back to the first for this just days after being abducted by those Inhumans.”
Cooper answered, “Sleep deprivation is a common event in our prior training sessions.” Having both women look at him. “I prepared her well, is all I am saying. Far more resilient than given credit for,” he paused and said, “Besides, for the damage memories of her lost family could stir up I would wager she might find it easier not to sleep.”
May asked, “Do you know how the family that had her got her?”
Cooper shook his head, “Never got specifics. Just told to train the girl.”
Mariah said, “There’s got to be more than that, you took vest shots for her.”
That had him look her dead on, “She hit me with a stun dart to break the kill switch implanted in my chest and the trackers in my head. That girl, they wanted perfection, and she is beyond their comprehension. Our best student, we trained her and she helped to set me free. She didn’t promise me safety, but freedom, same thing our training guarantees for her. Trust me, if she hasn’t told you all the details it’s because you haven’t asked or she has plans and is watching someone they do have.”
“Another kid?” May asked and he shook his head.
“No, they don’t allow bonds, make them kill each other to prevent that.” Parting the lips of the duo, “Looking back on where she came from, you will never see who she is, what she is aiming for. Widen your view, if she’s scared you will see, she will call out for allies she’s been making. Clearly she has a schedule to reach her goals.”
May asked, “Any more messages lately for Barnes?”
“No, been preoccupied with her ship. That in itself should be that she is keeping busy and helping to widen a piece of her blood’s history.”
“And you think that’s wise?” Mariah asked.
And he answered, “Better to keep as visible to a steady group as possible, you mentioned most of your nephew’s circle moved away,” getting a nod from her, “So daily or checks in a few times a week she needs someone to be able to notice if she goes missing right now. Besides more effort she puts into that ship less likely government will step in to take it from her.”
Both ladies said, “That won’t happen. We won’t allow it.”
“Wait till she makes it fly,” he said causing the duo to give him curious grins, “All the ships in her tales could fly.”
*.*.*
“In the headlines today once again Misique and Venom are being sued for theft of property, not property theft,” a news anchor emphasized with an amused chuckle, “But for again having placed borders around now forest filled patches of what used to be industrial land throughout Africa. Including an emerald mine that father of Elon Musk once owned and is still a large shareholder of and a plant where they create the batteries for Tesla cars.
Now as the mine has been found to have been operating on illegal means and documents towards employment President Nelson Mandela has joined the coalition of African leaders who are in favor of restoring the land to a nature reserve and stripping the proprietary rights from the mining company.
Not making many back here in the states who have been purchasing said emeralds on the cheap very happy. Least of all the shareholders, I.E. Daddy Dearest to one billionaire who is amongst the list of American based company holders who have joined the line to sue the infamous pirate duo sure to fail their try to recover the industrial lands they have been pillaging since purchase.”
The audience jeered and the streets had been echoing with the news that just like before while Misique and Venom this time were seen to be entering a courthouse once more now held the hands of a little girl and boy they had answered the call to oversee the removal of an abusive parent from their home. While mistaken for a cut and dry case, now since being handed over a simple intake swab had the parent linked to several unsolved crimes and the terrifying duo were there to ensure the children had courage to share their story as the Vigilante duo sat on the floor of the witness box to not make either child let go of their hands.
What could have been scarring for the children in the press a cover for the duo were explosive. Elon Musk and others dropped their billionaire status to the meager border just underneath middle class. Causing even Tony Stark to almost choke on his morning smoothie to the news of student and small business loan debt being wiped out in North America. Along with heavy HIV/AIDS and other medical care funding program donations to the poorer nations within the continent their companies based their part manufacturing for cheaper forms of employment with lesser laws on care for those working for them to improve profits.
Billions upon hundreds of billions were donated and medical care was going to be ensured to be instated under watch of a chosen ally, King T’Chaka who held the seat upon the foundation his neutral country had begun decades past to keep it from falling into corrupt hands. They would be granted full charge to schedule the beginnings of what was to come for many who greatly required it with full support of the country leaders who welcomed the aid and exuberance that exploded through their continent.
20 billion last time to now a hundred times more than that had been donated this time and had the world reeling, all at the words of Musk and the owners of Disney and Nestle. Who had made it personal in losing their slave labor and child smuggling production levels of their empires to keep the parts for their greater whole of merchandise rolling in. Already the latter with the ample losses had the owner on the outer edge of their seat and the monopoly enterprise having to offer up some of their dozens of acquired brands to gain funds to keep up the lawsuit.
They swore no one would forgive them for the lack of chocolate goods sold across the globe, while Musk had insulted you on an all too personal scale. Since the discovery of the ship all over Twitter and just about any platform he could extend to the self proclaimed genius had been butchering the history of your people and culture in a means to pressure the US Military to remove custody of the ship to be handed over to someone ‘more qualified’ than yourself. While Disney went silent Nestle again was battling back the apparent ‘lies’ of relying on child labor for their cocoa bean farms and Tesla had seen an up-tick in their cars suddenly exploding or falling apart in driveways or on roads that had car lots offering deals to trade in the slavery profiteering death traps.
.
Venom’s shriek outside your apartment building and screeching tires had woken you up to hear later on from neighbors who had gathered around Harry’s car and the confused teen himself who said, “Did you hear Elon Musk came by earlier? Apparently Venom scared him off.”
“Ah, that’s what that was. Remembered my lunch though,” you said making the teen smirk and let you in his car first to leave the people to keep talking, just what everyone in school did on your way inside to your first class.
“Don’t worry about it,” Harry said bumping his arm to yours when your paths split up, “See you at lunch.”
“See you,” you said softly and continued on only to pause in seeing a blue eyed blonde haired freshman who stopped in your way familiar from the Color Guard tryout the day before.
“Hello, um, hi,” she said clearing her throat in an awkward shift of her weight and sweater over the navy dress she had on in a grey to match her tights.
“Gwen Stacy,” you said causing her brows to arch up at your knowing her name only to let out an awkward breathy laugh realizing you had to know her name as a group leader yesterday.
“Yes, tryouts,” and after a nod she said, “I need help.”
“Are, you lost?” you asked with the end of your brow ticking up as a few people nearby pretended to not be listening in as they crept by at a snail’s pace.
“No, with the gun, rifle, throwing. Can you help me?” she asked awkwardly in pauses then all at once.
“Well I am a group leader, be a bit foolish not to fulfill my required role.”
“Good!” she said with another quick nod anxiously brushing a stray strip of hair that came loose from her ponytail behind her ears as she took in her stance a few inches taller than you even with your tall wedges on. “Today?”
“I have a shift today, I can stay after practices half an hour if you can stay late?”
“Yes! And I will buy coffee,” she said and then promptly shifted on her feet to step around you and continue in a mental battle with herself while you shifted your gaze to your former Russian Professor who chuckled in passing and commented she must be new to public school making you smirk and continue on to your class.
.
Lunch passed and back to the subway you went once your next class was through to head to the Columbia campus. Alone in a bench seat you sat down with focus on the notepad and one of your printed textbooks on your lap until a bodysuit clad fellow traveler who caused the car to empty slid up next to your side luring you to look up at them upon recognizing their scent. “What’s up with the boat?” Deadpool asked, clearly singed all over making you smirk unable to help but wonder how that happened. “It kind of explodes when ya touch it.”
“Magic ship,” you answered with a hint of a giggle.
“Ya think?” he replied sarcastically. “Real magic, go figure. Not a scratch on it, new scratch, that is. Something bit your magic ship.”
“Odin’s brother rode it to battle in the legends. Was lost to the seas in his victory.”
“Magic battle ship, no wonder people want it. Don’t think they know it explodes though.”
“No, not many believe it’s more than a broken ship.” You said then asked, “Tesla hire you to steal it?”
“Oh no, Disney.” He said making your brow arch up, “Apparently they’re out to get their portion of the land grab back. Technically they wanted me to kill you first, sort of a double stab to get to Misique too, but we both know how it went the last time I shot your tiny terrifying explosive friendly self. Still have the scar on my collar bone safe and sound under the rest of my scars, never leave home without it. Like a pair of invisible friendship bracelets.”
“You shot me first,” you said with a hint of a giggle in your tone.
“A mistake I won’t make twice. Was a one in a million shot you got me, got the one opening between those branches in that Japanese cherry tree forest, didn’t hit a single leaf, flower or bit of bark. I hit three. Took the money though anyways, heard some whispers Venom is in an uproar though in Queens?”
“Musk showed up on my doorstep.”
Making the hired killer chuckle throatily, “Proof he’s more wallet than brains.” And near to your ear he leaned to whisper, “Pity he didn’t get to face the mighty Duckling himself.” Making you roll your eyes.
“One person makes a joke that I carry duct tape with me and now I have another alias.”
“Prefer it to the White Dove,” he said making you smirk, “Ducks can be ferocious, formidable, and no one can resist their charm.” As you giggled he asked you, “So what, you’re nine now, right?”
“16,” you answered.
“16! Holy guacamole, that Wall-E birthday card is not going to age well then.”
“I like Wall-E,” you said.
“Good! Got the one that sings. Ran out of the glitter shooting ones.” Up at the screen reading the name of the stops scrolling from right to left he looked and said, “I worry about you, you know.” Making you look at him. “Fucked up what you go through, little girl should be able to keep her magic exploding ship.” The doors opened and he stood up to storm out clearing a path as he said, “I’m gonna blow some of their shit up, see how they like it. Teach them to believe in magic again!” Making you grin to yourself and look back down to your notebook.
“Are you alright?” A burly stranger asked in their creep into the car after ensuring there were no other threats in the train after Deadpool had left.
“Oh ya, he’s still a bit upset about the child smuggling involved in chocolate company practices.”
“Understandable, I can never look at candy the same way again.” Shaking his head he said, “Used to love me a Snickers bar.” He said on his way to his own seat in the spread of the shared sense of mourning over the clear onset of what would be a chocolate shortage. Though where those companies would struggle the ones who actually harvested the cocoa beans in legitimate ways were set to pick up in sales until Nestle proved they righted their process, if they were going to be granted a second chance at all to get those lands back ever.
*.*.*
Two words within a text message from Fury had Rhodey lift a finger in the middle of a meeting inside a hangar with new recruits to tap the fellow trainer at his side on the shoulder luring eyes onto him as he whispered, “I gotta take this. Five minutes.” The woman nodded and let him step aside while she shared the newer adaptations on the jets the military would be training the new pilots on to get battle ready fresh off their qualifying hours on digital training models.
Outside the hangar Rhodey walked with his mind spinning at the mention of an explosion and Pluto Pear’s new ship that sent Deadpool soaring through the air. Scans of her apartment showed no risk of harm to that or a trap having been laid showing still the same glowing flower shaped sensors in her window and little hint of any activity within the building at all aside from the elderly women who remained home all the time.
“Fury,” Rhodey said phoning the one who warned him via text of the odd event.
“Garage is fine.” Fury said making Rhodey shake his head as if he had sand thrown in his face.
“You just-,”
“I don’t understand it.” Fury spoke, not just to himself but to his friend.
“That makes two of us. Enlighten me.”
“We got a signal of some activity and Deadpool was sighted on his way to Queens. He went into the garage and then there was this fireball of an explosion that blasted him well into Brooklyn. I’m in the garage, I’m staring at the ship and it’s, well the fire just went out, been burning for an hour now and it just went out. May-,” he huffed at the curious agent who reached out to touch the bare rust stained metal section of the siding.
“It’s cold,” she said making him shake his head and shift on his feet to turn sideways to possibly begin pacing if he felt the need.
“And it’s cold. Fire just went out and it’s cold.”
Mariah on the other side of the ship said, “Fire read -94 degrees F, it’s up to 35F now.”
Rhodey said, “So he tampered with it, and it exploded with freezing fire.”
“And the garage is unharmed, there’s gas and oxygen tanks in here on the far wall no harm done. Unless it’s a hell of a visual trick that somehow propelled a human body into another borough to ward people off of stealing the thing…”
“Sir,” Mariah said in her step into Fury’s view from her finalizing a scan of the ship he asked her to take showing little results even when on fire aside from temperature of any mechanisms or security systems. “She did say it was Thor’s uncle’s ship. Fair to say it’s a wrecked Asgardian ship and research showed a trick to work on it.”
“What sort of trick could she dig up in a Norse myth to know how to keep an alien ship from exploding into freezing flames?” Rhodey cut in making Fury shrug and shake his head again.
“Logically, Thor is just over a thousand years old, add a couple thousand to that since he shared he never met his uncles, I can’t think of a way to hide a password or type of key or trick to their ships in a myth. They’re not called tall tales for nothing, over the years they change in translation or forgetfulness. I don’t see any markings aside from the sail, we’ve watched the videos she filmed, nothing.”
Mariah chimed in, “The tesseract was found out of legends. Pulled this out of the middle of some ocean. Bound to have found something in all those books to have brought this ashore without any explosions.”
“I’ll give Pluto a call, just try not to blow yourselves up in the meantime.”
*.*.*
Out of your purse to answer the alert of your phone you let go of the book you were holding to smirk at the call from Rhodey mid gather of your things to stand and get off on your stop. Up to your ear post press of the talk button the phone was lifted to answer, “Lt Rhodes, I um, might have a notion why you’re calling. Busy morning?”
“Well, um, have some new trainees in the hangar right now, but um, humor me, why am I calling?”
Out to the steps through a sea of people you wove between taller bodies and said, “Had a meeting with Wade Wilson on the subway bit ago. Said he was hired to steal my ship and it exploded.”
Seriously he asked with brows furrowing, “Deadpool came to, are you safe?” He asked in your trot up the steps to get to the street where you’d have a bit more room to speak.
“Met him when I was eight on a trip with Barnes to a Japanese cherry tree forest, he’s not going to hurt me, wanted to let me know who hired him to steal my ship and kill me to get at Misique.”
That had him let out a puff of air in the snap of his eyes wider at what mole to take a whack at in that sentence. “Did you know the ship explodes?”
“Sort of. Met some exiled Asgardians on my summers and they said they do latch onto the next pilot or engineer who find them once sea wrecked and refuse to be taken away from them.”
“Latch onto people,” he muttered to himself.
“In the first video when it cut my hand since then it gives off a hum when I get near it and the case on the rudder mechanism box inside the hull only opens when I’m alone.”
“Okay, that is good to know. These Asgardians, say anything else about these ships?”
“Apparently only Nobles learn on them, older and more finicky for the mandatory service citizens learn on that don’t have sails. None of them worked with them or near them, most were bakers or made clothing and furniture aside from a stone mason who’ve apparently been here since travel to Midgard was blocked a few thousand years back. No worries on any of them leveling a city, apparently by their laws if they did Odin would send a metal guardian to return them for imprisonment. Like he did for Thor.”
“They volunteered that they were from Asgard? Just, freely after thousands of years?” he asked in shock.
“I shared with you about my necklace from the Goddess Frigg.”
“Their Queen!” he exclaimed, understanding how that could come up.
“She rarely gave tokens to Midgardians. I don’t ask much of their former home but they did share the dangers of the ship to those who would try to steal it from me. And Wade more likely was curious more than anything and jumped in it to peek inside than steal it.”
“You said, he say who hired him?”
“Disney is up for some of their land back apparently, I thought Musk at first for his tantrum about my lineage and qualifications, but no they wanted to take a double sided stab on top of the lawsuit against Misique and Venom.” Approaching a crosswalk you heard him take a few deep breaths to take that news in.
“Okay, you’re heading to class right?”
“Yes, almost at the campus now.”
“I’m gonna let you focus on that, and, I’m going to make a phone call, or a few.”
“Okay, talk to you later. I think if anything they’ve pissed Wade off to the point of arson, try not to worry yourself too much.”
“Someone hired an assassin to kill you, this is beyond worrying territory. I am the one supposed to be reassuring here. We will dilute this today. I will check in on you later after practice.”
“Oh, one of the new girls asked for spare rifle help so I’ll have my phone in my locker a spare half hour.”
“Good to know, and my phone is on if you spot anything.” He ended the call and you shook your head and used the rest of the time walking to mentally through a bee resting in your hair send off a string of texts to Eddie about the news. And much like times before when the hive was convening your Symbiote tingle went off as those on Earth were bristling at the news. Conveniently out in California that was facing rolling blackouts due to power conservation to fight another wildfire one of the hive would take full advantage of this news to quell their ever thriving hunger for blood.
*.*.*
“Boots on the ground,” Steve Rogers said over his com system in a shift of his grip on the arm strap of his shield with eyes swiveling over the oddly quiet building in front of the chosen crew to take the heads of Disney into custody to find who exactly was behind the hiring.
“Heat signatures are centralized on the twelfth floor,” Stark said landing beside the heavily armed crew of men in black and grey who shared their own required radio sound offs on roles to keep eyes on various angles upon approach. The billionaire not having paid much mind as to even the name of the child who the hit was put on but chose to come along to keep Steve from murdering anyone after seeing him snap a table in half at the news of who was the target cementing the star spangled wonder’s seat on this mission. Steve hadn’t spoken the entire flight aside from a few teeth grit utterances of his best friend’s name and a string of Gaelic curses under his breath but the look in his eyes said more than he’d ever have to.
Natasha on Stark’s right brushed her fingertips across the holsters on her thighs during a mental check list of steps for this process she was tasked to oversee directly by Fury then contact him upon moment of capture of prisoners to be taken for transport and interrogation. She was the one to crack the lock on the front entrance and lead the way to the elevator Stark attached a small tablet sized generator to so it would let them up to the proper floor to avoid the stairs. And much like the other floors beneath them the twelfth would have, it had hairs on end with its unique silence mingled with copper in the air warning of blood.
Bloody handprints and smudges led to smears and bits of torn fabric and flesh that led to the board room where rather cinematically decapitated heads were taped to the head rests of their chosen chairs. While heads of other notable figures within the monopoly under the Disney umbrella were taped across the walls opposite the projection board that read a chilling message stating just who had answered this assumed unknown hit against a child. There is Chaos. There is Bloodshed. There is CARNAGE.
Up to her ear Natasha’s hand moved to reach Fury over the earpiece he was tapped into, “Fury, we’ve got a problem.” Clearly Deadpool was currently down in one of their other headquarters out of state burning messages into their otherwise perfect lawns after a few choice explosions having posted and printed signs his friends were handing out of Disney execs hiring assassins to target children. Meaning they had to work fast to round up the others who filed jointly within the lawsuit to ensure no other hitmen could be hired, or if they had plans would be uncovered prior to any damage being done.
Pt 28
@jesevans, @lilith15000, @devilishminx328, @theincaprincess, @jiminapickle
#Escaped Child Assassin#Painful memories#Emotional trauma#Eddie Brock#Venom#Gwen Stacy#Deadpool#Nick Fury#James Rhodes#Magic Ship#Death threats#Shopping#Asking for help#Carnage#Marvel
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I'm just curious.. How do the puppets get fevers or the flu? I mean they are yknow wood?
Hiya, Annon.
Umm I can't exactly answer that question since I have no idea how does that actually work as well.
Thankfully, Riles volunteer to ask...or rather demanded that she gets that ask.
All in the name of science, I suppose
Take it from here, Riles.
"Hello, Annon Host! This is Riley Anne Ruckus speaking.
I've heard that you are wondering how us puppets are able to get sick and get things like fevers and such when we do not have the same genetics compounds as hosts are. Allow me to explain how is that possible
And to throw this out of the way....
No. This is not related to any form of termites or any host vermin. That is considered highly offensive for wooden puppets like myself and my dear handeemen"
Umm Riley, hon. I don't think they thought termites would cause fever. That is not probable...
"I am clarifying for the hosts who have that doubt, Amy!"
Sorry, please do go on
"As I was saying, puppets are not genetically composed of the same genetic materials as hosts do with their meat and bones things. Us puppets are created with the materials we evolve. This is a private theory that I am working on to prove puppet evolution, but I'll love to share this portion of it which is related to your ask, host Annon, as long as you're not as skeptical as my lab ra-"
Riley!
"Father... Ejem. According to my theory of evolution, us puppets undergo through a process that is essential to our survival. Mortimer and I are working in figuring out how does exactly that process work since it's related to our link of hosts and puppet magic.
The closest thing that I can see to narrow it down to your host brain would be what's breathing is to hosts.
Just like hosts, puppets are vulnerable to the basic needs of a living organism. I believe that we have developed a system that is similar to the one of a host that allow us to have process for those needs.
Long before the lab- Father and Amy arrived to the studio, I was doing surgery on puppets to test variables and get to the bottom of how we function. Results were inconclusive as the experiment failed, and we cannot further our research because apparently doing puppet surgery is a "Big No No, Riley." so that aspect of my theory is still in progress."
She's still a bit bitter about that, annon.
"LIKE I was saying....
Puppets and hosts have a similar system inside us that allow us to make processes related to our needs of survivals. Sadly, because nature is a cruel mistress as part of our evolution, just like any living organism we are able to get sick or transfer bacteria and certain types of viruses that tend to affect hosts as well.
We are immune to certain viruses and illness for quite obvious reasons (and our genetics being differently), but we share the same vulnerability to a particular extent. Thankfully, puppet have a rather advance defense system that allows to kill the viruses quickly and makes us feel better.
That was a fascinating discovery when I used Nick Nack as my testing lab rat to investigate about the flue by challenging him to a cold resistant game"
YOU WHAT?!
"It did take a couple of trials to get the sufficient data, but I am proud to say that it was a worthy sacrifice of using the clown for my research"
Riley that's not a nice thing to do!
At least it proved my point. Mortimer was onboard with this and he helped me take notes!"
Sigh....I...I'm goin' to talk to Owen 'about this...
"Anyways, that was a tiny victory for my long going research.
Thank you for asking, annon host, and I do hope you were blown away by science."
-Riley Anne Ruckus
OOC/Phantom: This is actually something that I was curious to try for this ask blog. Of course that Amy will still be responding, but I thought maybe one of the characters will join her to respond to asks.
#hello puppets#asks responds#ask blog au#RIP Nick the lab rat lmao#Riley Ruckus#Nick Nack#Nick Nack did not know he was used as a lab rat for the chaoitic duo shannenigans#Mortimer just wanted to see Nick taking Riley's challenge like a fool#sometimes this guys are mean I swear-
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funny how time flies
starring: michael bivins
summary: after trying every traditional method of counseling, one marriage finds itself on the brink of a divorce. Xavier Dean, desperate for a solution to their irreparable woes, turns to an experimental trial to see just where they went wrong.
fyi: the following story is written from a black american perspective and follows characters of the same experience. this story contains but is not limited to: sci-fi elements, vulgar language, drug usage, and potential smut (idk yet lol).
masterlist
author’s note: first off, a very big thanks to @godmia for not only taking my vision of the cover/banner for this story and making it greater than I could’ve ever imagined but also doing so in a timely fashion. be sure to hit her up and get in on her commissions for any of your graphic needs. here are the things she offers.
secondly, this is my first attempt in dipping my toe into the Sci-fi genre, so please let me know what you all think! 🫶🏾 i hope you all enjoy this just as much as I do ♥️⏰.
without further ado, here’s the prologue:
“Mr. Dean? Are you ready?”
A middle-aged man rose from a waiting room chair, footsteps echoing against porcelain tiles as he approached the door that’d been propped open for him.
The stillness of the room was broken as he softly greeted the woman carrying a paper thin tablet and digital pen. Small talk ensued, becoming muffled as the monument-sized door closed with a colossal thud.
The duo walked on, exchanging what was regarded as small talk. Little did the man know, the preliminary stage of the experiment had just commenced.
“How are you feeling today, Mr. Dean?”
“I’m doin’ good, and you?”
The statuesque woman, clad in a white coat and matching pencil skirt, smiled gently at the question. “I’m doing quite alright. Are you up for answering a few questions for me?”
“Sure,��� he shrugged, figuring that it’d be more absurd if she didn’t have any questions.
“I see here that you filled out our online consultation. Can you clarify what brought you to us?” she inquired while tapping and swiping at the holographic prompts beaming out of the tablet she carried.
He scoffed with amusement. “I mean, y’all are the ones with billboards and blimps like this is the 1980s. You’re impossible to miss.”
The woman indulged him with a chuckle before adding. “Just making sure we’re reaching our target demographic… We aim to pique the interest of many, but tell me… What made you take action? What caused your consultation?”
The quiet chatter of a front office had long since faded— so long, in fact, that he wasn’t quite sure that there was a front office at all. All that remained were the cold, white walls that lined the shine of matching tiles. And the clear echo of footsteps, their footsteps.
As if they were the only two people in the building.
“Well… I had a friend that saw you all. You might know her— Terri Mannigan?”
“I can neither confirm nor deny we’ve had that person, Mr. Dean.”
A suspicious brow was plucked from its usual position on his face.
The woman soothed any wariness with an assuring smile. “I apologize, Mr. Dean, but we take patient confidentiality very seriously here. I’m sure you saw our code of ethics when you made your consultation.”
“Of course. No problem. I wouldn’t want you to try to breach any agreement you’ve made with another client,” he affirmed.
“Yes. So, you said that a friend referred you. What in particular made you consider the referral?”
“She said that she was able to relive her favorite moments… That it let her time travel without all the portal stuff or the butterfly effect. Is that true?”
She laughed lightly, her pearly smile proving to the perfect complement for her rich complexion. “Well, it’s not exactly time travel, but many patients have been able to experience past events, yes.”
“So, if it’s not time travel, what exactly is it?” he asked curiously, making sure that he hadn’t been so mistaken that he’d wasted his time.
“It’s sensory reminiscence. Essentially, we help you pinpoint years and experiences in order to help you revisit them and experience them just as you would the first time… But many patients find the term ‘time travel’ to be easier to explain and digest.”
“Yeah, no kiddin’. Sensory remembrance is a mouth full.”
“Sensory reminiscence,” the woman corrected.
“See?”
She offered a laugh, finding the man to have an easygoing charm. She discreetly made note of that in her own preliminary survey of him— one that would soon be in the hands of psychotherapists and neuroscientists.
“So, Mr. Dean, what do you hope to get out of your trial here?”
“What do people usually get out of it?” he queried, not out of resistance but out of true interest.
This wasn’t lost on the doctor. In fact, it always brightened her mood to see a new patient. Their eagerness and curiosity reminded her of herself, when she’d first learned about these trials. It was the very thing that made her fall in love with science all over again.
“Well, we use sensory reminiscence for a number of reasons. All of which are still relatively early in their trials, but we believe this can bring forth lots of progress for those with early onset dementia or Alzheimer's…
“We’ve also been watching its effects in much milder cases with those who are in cognitive-behavioral therapy. There’s a variety of outcomes, but it all depends on where you are and what your intentions are upon entering, Mr. Dean… What are yours?”
He thought about it momentarily— not so much his answer but whether he wanted to share it. After all, this was supposed to be small talk, not anything that would be shared with the doctor he’d be meeting with.
Maybe he was just being paranoid, a trait he’d grown into over the years. He decided to suspend his caution. After all, he felt as if he still didn’t know enough to turn back now. So, he didn’t.
“Well, my friend said that through re-living certain moments, she was able to see things with a different point of view. Things that she thought she was right about at that time came back completely different when she saw it now.”
“And you want to see if the same is true for you, correct?”
His answer was accompanied by a nod. “Yeah.”
The woman gave a confident smile, one that offered him comfort as he was jumping feet first into what he saw as his last resort for healing. “I believe that we have just the thing to help you find everything you’re searching for and more.”
He offered a fraction of her grin. “Sounds like a plan,” and with that verbal confirmation, the last of his paper work was done.
The doctor tapped a button, and the handheld hologram of prompts evaporated from her tablet.
Her steps halted, triggering his to do the same. Her palm found the wall, as plain and smooth as any other wall. But soon, there was a blue light illuminated beneath her fingerprints and without warning, a door was traced into the wall.
As if someone were drawing it up in real time, a threshold appeared and pitch darkness lived within it.
Caution reappeared like a jumpscare, and although they’d only engaged in small talk, he knew— with an inky abyss standing before him— that it was too late to turn back now.
“Come… Let me show you how it all works,” with reassurance etched into her smile, the doctor eased his anxiety.
And soon enough, the two stepped into the darkness and began the quest in discovering something bigger than the both of them.
#FHTF#fic writing#au writing#makeboyscry#jarfulloftears#writing#sci-fi#sci fi romance#sci fi writing#sci fi au#black scifi
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what does a well-constructed commission brief/reference entail? (side note your ask title i love it)
That's such a good question!
I could probably talk about this one all day but for me it's in the options and details! Largely, a good amount of details and visuals provided in a careful way that's easy to follow and construct.
This also varies depending on the commission (clients with a specific idea vs. clients who wants to construct a design/concept sheet)
Some of the best sheets I've read basically follow the format of:
The Brief
TL;DR here's a short summary of precisely what I want.
Here is a short description and maybe a very rough stick figure/bashed-together setup (if I have a very specific composition in mind.) This is my "launching point" that I'll use as the prime directive, and usually only about 1-2 sentences + the comp setup if you provide one.
The Specs
Here are some very brief point-by-point specs that you can't miss (e.g. physical details about the character, other things that are very important) This is information I will use like a checklist to refer to almost every time I sit down with a piece. This is usually a set of bullet points that outline the absolute essentials I need to include, from scars, a very important accessory, a specific angle or expression, or even an overall vibe.
If this piece is getting made to be printed, this is also where you give me dimensions. Essentially this is stuff I absolutely have to follow.
If you have a “definitive reference sheet” or portrait of your character/characters available, this is where it goes!
The Background
Added details: Here's a longer paragraph with more written descriptions as a "vibe" and general background on the piece's context, the character's background, etc. Here's various pictures, sketches, inspirational moodboards, etc. This is information I will review usually on first sit-down and building the reference board, and then again on my final pass to see if there's anything I can work in/am contradicting/etc. While this isn't necessarily information I find completely essential I still enjoy having this available because it gets me a rounder feeling for what I'm working with and can pre-emptively answer any more probing questions I may have about the subject. Detailed world information, playlists, etc. go here. I take it all as long as it's neatly separated from your hard-line details.
The Bonuses
Circling back to content that’s really cool and nice stuff that isn't required but still helpful:
The stick figure diagrams, artbreeder face refs or faceclaims, etc.
Pieces that I've done before that you absolutely gelled with, along with aspects of them you'd like. I know some artists may not prefer it but having something I've done before in front of me along with a direct pointer of what specifically you like lets me know pretty well what you'd like me to specifically bring to the work.
Presentation?
In general, I prefer reference provided to me in a single Google Doc with the pictures included. Wrapped text with smaller resolution pictures peppered in is fine- some clients even provide a separate Google Drive link that has that document in it, plus the high resolution versions of those pictures.
If it's for a concept that we're developing together, having "hard yes" reference in one folder and "maybe/neat suggestions/ideas to explore" in a separate one is great.
If it's for a character that you kind of want me to take the wheel with, Refsheet.net is a very excellent source for archiving your overall character details and visuals! I know I keep my OCs there for anytime I need to commission someone. (Example sheet. This one is of my OC Evgeny, and is specifically over-detailed but allows me to cut any content I may need from it to put the relevant stuff in a commission document if I write one, then provide this as an added reference if the artist wants more stuff.)
Thanks for asking and hope this helps! If I can further clarify anything let me know- kind of wrote this up in a tizzy.
(PS Glad you like the Ask page title lol! It's one thing on my Tumblr blog that hasn't changed in 10 years.)
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I am not the same anon but i hope you dont feel any ounce of guilt even if you answer this days later, take good care of yourself as much as possible. Onto the question. Do you have some ideas on what could be the main reasons for dysphoria to develop in a young person and why? Do you think things like same sex attraction could be a big factor to sparkle up dysphoria? Even though i struggle to understand how some people stay okay being same sex attracted and in their bodies and some want nothing to do with their body. And in the more tragic case, CSA could have some impact on developing it as well? Or maybe you have some other takes on it, i would be very curious to hear (well. read)
Thank you for your kind words and patience in my getting back to you, Anon.
To zero in on the same sex attraction aspect since that is what you specifically inquired about, yes, I do think that it could be a factor in some cases. However, as the saying goes, correlation does not necessarily equal causation and I think we need to be careful in not inadvertently insinuating that when having these discussions for a couple different reasons. From a gender-critical perspective, I can look back on my childhood and conclude that my dysphoria developed partially because I grew up in a homophobic environment and (unconsciously) further perpetrated that homophobia onto myself. It was not my same sex attraction that was wrong, but “society,” if you will.
However, I was not always able to do this, simply because I have not always been gender-critical. Many transgender people—and especially youth—come from a place of (often severe) internalized homophobia as same sex-attracted people. So, when someone states that same sex attraction may be a factor in dysphoria and transgender identity without explaining (or even mentioning) the why behind that, I view that as flippant—because someone with internalized homophobia can interpret that to mean, “I am dysphoric because I am bi- and/or homosexual.” Our sexualities become the reason for our turmoil—and through that, they, once again, become something for us to hate.
It also just gives way too much room for people who don’t actually have anyone’s best interests at heart to be homophobic. When we say that most dysphoric and trans people are homo- or bisexual and just leave it at that, what do we think a trans-critical homophobe is going to think? I can tell you they’re not going to reflect on their own biases. They’re going to take that to mean that same sex attraction is some sort of mental illness and that dysphoria is a symptom of it. It shifts the blame from homophobic societal structures to the person who is the victim of them. These are different sides of the same coin: When we fail to be mindful in analyzing and discussing the links between dysphoria and sexuality, both groups receive confirmation that same sex attraction is a problem.
I want to both clarify and emphasize, Anon, that I am not making a direct criticism of your own words but rather providing a general commentary on what I have personally seen and how I think it may affect people in ways we may not immediately realize. I feel that consideration of how these statements may come off is sometimes lacking, and as someone who was affected by that when I first started questioning my own transition, I felt it appropriate to mention here. I wish that more emphasis was put on social attitudes, rather than personal attraction, when discussing dysphoria and how it may be linked to sexuality—because that puts the focus on society as a whole rather than singling out one single aspect of a person that they are, very likely, already deeply struggling with. Same sex attraction is the correlation in dysphoric people; hatred of that attraction is the cause of that dysphoria. There is a difference between the two. It is essential we do not overlook it.
To address your other inquiry, I can also speak from personal experience in that my history of abuse did play a significant role in my dysphoria in retrospect. At the age I started identifying as transgender, I was not yet emotionally mature enough to understand that I was being abused. I just knew that people who were supposed to love and protect me instead harmed and took advantage of me, and I did not like that. My upbringing caused me to become passively suicidal from a very young age, which I then understood as wanting to “start over”—and it just so happened that transness eventually gave me that chance. I guess you could say that dysphoria was an expression of that pain and transition was an attempt at escaping it. Myself, as a child, was an abuse victim, a pawn, a pet—but myself, as a trans adult, was who I was outside of that. I fought so viciously to protect my transness because to criticize it felt—and still feels—like killing who I could have been.
Of course, I can only speak for myself, and frankly, that is the only person I want to speak for when it comes to abuse—but this is not just a personal thing. Virtually every single person in the trans community that I was in was also an abuse victim and abuse victims consistently remain(ed) a shocking majority in the communities outside of my own. I do not believe that that is just a coincidence.
I think that the need for control is a significant factor that unites both of these scenarios. I did eventually learn what homophobia was and came to terms with the fact that I had been abused. What I didn’t want to accept was that these things contributed to my pain—because I could not change them. I could not rid the world of homophobia. I could not keep my abusers from being abusive. But if I was the cause of my pain and the solution to that pain was right there, that meant that I could fix it. If everything was “just” dysphoria, that meant that I could heal myself without waiting around for those who hurt me to change. To consider the influence of anything that existed outside of my own mind was to lose hope because it shown a light on everything that I had no power to change as an individual among billions. When so many of us are already disadvantaged in some way from the get-go and we have absolutely no say in any of it, it only makes sense that we would turn that pain inwards and develop dysphoria—and when transition feels like (and is marketed as) the obvious solution, of course we will go through with it. It is our way to have a say. It is no wonder so many of us view transition as empowering when you look at it like that.
So, to finally address your leading question, “Do you have some ideas on what could be the main reasons for dysphoria to develop in a young person and why?” I believe that a variety of factors could be at play and for different reasons for different people. This is not just my own personal opinion; it has been shown that dysphoria and transgender identity tend to be especially concentrated in specific demographics and it would be ignorant of me to discount that. However, beyond citing what is demonstrably obvious and sharing my own experiences in an effort to offer perspective, I do not feel I am in a position to theorize what may or may not have caused someone else’s dysphoria. I strongly believe that dysphoric people need to come to that understanding themselves.
I also do not personally believe that there is a “main reason” on as to why dysphoria may develop in a young person in all cases. I suppose my own “main reason” would be that I fell into the trans community because I never thought seriously about transitioning prior to that time—but the thing is, even if I hadn’t, I would still be dealing with everything else that influenced my getting to this point. I cannot completely divorce all of the things that feed into my dysphoria because they also feed into each other. If I were to take the trans community out of that equation, it would just be the influence of the trans community missing. It is impossible to say whether or not I would have still gone down this same path without that. I honestly think it is just as likely that what remains would simply replace what no longer applies. Dysphoria is like a web. Webs are sticky things.
And as to why some people develop dysphoria while others do not, who knows? Throughout my medical transition as a teenager, every second or third person I talked to either had a full-blown eating disorder, or was on their way to developing one. I was under constant unconscious influence to go down that same path. I struggle with all of the known psychological risk factors in eating disorder development and was also raised in ways that are known to encourage them to develop overtime. Meanwhile, dysphoria was essentially unknown to everyone outside of my bubble. Why, then, did I develop dysphoria when it would have made more sense for me to develop an eating disorder? I don’t know. I don’t think there is a way to know.
At the end of the day, I truly do think whether or not one goes on to develop dysphoria is just a matter of luck (or rather, lack thereof). That is the unfortunate nature of mental illness. Sometimes you get it, sometimes you don’t, and there’s really no “reason” on as to why you have it while someone else with similar experiences might not. But even if there were a reason for it, even if I could pinpoint exactly what caused my dysphoria, I can honestly say that no comfort would come from my knowing—because knowing would not change the fact that I have it. I cannot go back, only forward, and in doing so, I have made peace with that ambiguity.
I sincerely hope this answer makes up for how long I made you wait for it.
#the reason i haven't been active the past few days is because i was spending all my time on here fucking slaving over this thing lmao#i honestly still hate this answer but nothing is ever perfect to me and you've waited long enough for it#so i just hope you can see the effort that i put into it#i have a lot of thoughts on this topic but chose to focus on abuse and same sex attraction since that is what you specifically asked#i could definitely give my opinion on other potential factors if you have anything in mind but you'll need to give me some sort of prompt#because my mind goes a mile a minute when i'm asked anything open-ended and when that happens it is impossible for me to be brief lmao#submission#answered#gender critical#writing#text#my post
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FAQ
⭐️ What is the timeline?
Sign-ups open: October 5th
Sign-ups close: October 23rd
Assignments are emailed by: October 24th*
Check ins: November 19th and December 10th
Gift Posting: December 22nd
* If you're signing up late, please either have your wish list ready quickly or make a note that you're gonna post one on your tumblr (e.g. a pinned post)
⭐️ How are gift assigments chosen?
Automatically using the website Wichtel-O-Mat.de as I (the mod/Chim) would like to participate as well :)
⭐️ What are requirements for prompts/wishes?
There are no specific requirements but it would probably be nice to at least include one PG-13 or gen prompt or idea :) But you're allowed to include wants and don't wants as you'd like in your wish list.
On the other hand if you can't work with any of the prompts or ideas from your giftee, send them an anon ask about it - I'm sure they'd love to throw some further ideas along your way!
⭐️ What are requirements for gifts?
For Fanfics: Looking through other secret santas, the ranges go from 2'500 to some even 15'000 or even more! So there's no definitive answer. Write what works for your story, that you believe you can finish by the deadline. The only requirement is that it’s more than 1,000 words!
For Fanart: Similarly, considering it's a gift, your art should reflect that and either be colored or contain more than just one sketch (e.g. a comic or several comic pages?). Again, draw what works for you and that you can finish by the deadline!
⭐️ Do I need to include all of the prompts my giftee lists?
Not at all! Most people give their Santa a list of things they love, hoping that one or two will spark an idea. You are welcome to just choose one, or to fit in a few. Do what’s best for your fic/art! The squicks and triggers on the other hand should be avoided completely, and if you have questions or concerns about them please reach out to me so I can clarify with your giftee.
⭐️ Is XY allowed?
There are no content rules for gifts, as long as they adhere to your giftee’s wants and don’t wants. If your giftee didn’t mention smut in their signup, you should send an anon ask to make sure they are okay with it.
⭐️ What if I can't finish my gift on time?
First, please do your best to post a completed work on the deadline. Your giftee is looking forward to it and it’s disappointing for the posting day to arrive and find there’s nothing in the stocking for you. That said, please let me know as soon as possible if you are having trouble with the deadline. I can’t help if I don’t know there’s a problem!
⭐️ What if I have to drop out?
Please email or dm me ASAP if you need to drop out for any reason @chimchiri or [email protected] Don’t wait. There won’t be any judgement, and the sooner I know who I need a replacement for the better.
⭐️ What if I received no gift?
I know it can be stressful waiting for your secret Santa to post! Especially once you see other gifts going up. I ask that you give your Santa a little flexibility and good-will, but if you haven’t heard anything by Dec. 27th (just to account for time zones) please let me know! In a worst case scenario I’ll assign a pinch hitter to fill in and make sure you receive a gift as soon as possible. If I need to assign someone new I’ll contact you with a new posting date.
⭐️ I still have a question not answered here-
If your question is still unanswered, feel free to send an ask to this blog or dm me at my personal blog @chimchiri.
Info: As I'm not too well versed in English and this is the first event I'm organizing, many notes and phrases are directly copied from the stetersecretsanta2022
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