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cosmicpearlz · 1 year

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you don’t go to parties

summary: being overwhelmed can cause a person to push away the one person they really needed most in that time.

pairing: jenna ortega x fem!reader

a/n: i was inspired by the song ‘you don’t go to parties’ by 5 seconds of summer! hope you guys enjoy!

…………………………………………………………………………….

taking a quick glance at the clock that rested on a table beside the couch you currently sat on, read five o’clock. the loud music still thumbing even in the early hours of morning. the party and alcohol couldn’t change your sour mood, not when you were reminiscing about your ex.

jenna was (still is) the love of your life until she decided randomly to call it quits without so much of a second thought. you guys had been together for two years and apparently that wasn’t enough to save the relationship. you weren’t sure what went wrong when she pulled away from you but you knew it hurt like hell.

during every party that you went to, you were expecting to see her. you guys were always seen arriving together and being wrapped around each other. but it was as if she became a ghost and disappeared because she never showed. not once did that stop you from trying to seek out the brown haired girl, even if it was just a small glimpse of her.

“c’mon y/n, we should go,” emma pulls your attention away from your own thoughts. she held out a hand for you to grab, which you take immediately and stand to your feet. making your way out of the frat house, you guys start your journey back to the dorms.

“i’m sorry i haven’t been much fun lately,” your lip begins to wobble and eyes glinting with tears.

“listen, i know you’ve been dealing with a breakup. i’m sorry if it seems like i’m pushing you to be the happy girl you were before the mess,” emma wraps an arm around your shoulders while you wipe the loose tear drop.

“what are friends for?” you whispered into the silent air. you knew you weren’t going to get over the girl any time soon. not when the memories still burn freshly in your mind.

jenna was drowning. drowning in school work, life and regret. the moment she uttered those unforgettable words, she regretted it. the look on your face was deeply ingrained into her brain. she wished she never said those words and broke your heart.

she wished that she just told you what was wrong. how the pressure of making sure her senior grades were perfect. the thoughts and anxiety of what your relationship would change or evolve to after school. everything was too much and she desperately needed a way out. jenna thought that breaking up with you would be one less stressor, instead it made things worse.

the girl stopped going to parties when she realized you wouldn’t be there to drape your legs into her lap or let her sit on lap while you wrapped your arms around her waist with your face in her neck. she missed you and wanted to reach out but didn’t know how to after what happened.

“jenna, you have to go to this party with us on friday!”

“no.”

“why not? you and y/n have been broken up for almost two weeks now. what better way then to get drunk and forget!”

“too many memories.” hunter sighed and grabbed the girl’s hand to get her attention. jenna looked up from her textbook with a slight frown.

“i’ll be with you the whole night. i just feel like you need to get out a little bit and enjoy life. you’ve had your nose in the books since the breakup.”

“fine, i’ll go. you can’t leave my side though.”

“deal.”

another party and another couch to sit on. you nursed your third cup, watching everyone else dance. you looked towards the door again hoping to see your past lover and in walked said girl. your eyes widened at the sight of her. she was dressed in dark washed jeans and a simple black strapless corset top. her brown hair kept down framing her gorgeous face. you knew you should look away but you couldn’t take your eyes off of her.

her gaze set on you immediately, catching you already looking at her. it was as if time stopped and everyone in the room didn’t matter. just the two of you as it was before. hastily you got up from the couch and ran to find a spare room. there was an ache in your chest and your eyes watered.

jenna ignores the calls of hunter and emma, on a mission to find you. she needed to make it right. she wanted you to know that she still loved you despite whatever you were thinking.

it didn’t take long for the girl to be right behind you. pushing herself into the room before you had the chance to close the door on her. the music was muffled and all that was heard was the heavy breathing between the two of you.

“what do you want jenna?”

“to talk,” you scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest. jenna looks down at her shoes unwilling to see the glare you had towards her.

“a bit late for that. i can’t do this,” you walked towards the door and jenna jumps in front of it preventing you from leaving.

“i want to explain. please.”

“explain what huh? explain how you broke up with me without giving me a proper explanation!”

“yes!” the shake in her voice was evident as you got done yelling at her.

“i want to leave.”

“no. not until you let me explain than you could go back to hating me. i just want to tell you the truth,” your gaze softened with her saying you hated her. you could never hate her, not one chance.

“fine,” you walked away from her to sit on the bed, keeping your attention on the girl. jenna picks at the skin of her nails suddenly nervous again.

“it wasn’t you, it was me and-“

“yeah right.”

“listen to me please. it seriously wasn’t you. i was overwhelmed with school work and.. and i was scared about how life after college would look for us. i thought that by breaking up with you, i would be less stressed but it made it worse. i’m so sorry y/n,” tears fell from her eyes with each word she spoke.

“why didn’t you come talk to me?”

“i honestly don’t know,” jenna shakes her head, wiping the tears from her face. you motioned her to sit next to you on the bed. she instantly makes her way to join you.

“you could’ve talked to me about this. i would’ve told you that you’re already perfect in school and your grades are amazing. you’re a hard worker and you shouldn’t be worried because you’re doing great,” you grabbed the girls hands making her look up from her lap.

“as for us, i would’ve told you that i’m always gonna be here. jenna, i’m so desperately in love with you and can’t imagine being with anyone else. no matter what happens in life, i will always want you.”

“does this mean you’ll give me a second chance,” jenna’s bottom lip is caught between her teeth, nervous to hear your answer. she’s met with a light chuckle and your hand brushing her hair behind her ear.

“oh absolutely. these past few days have been hell without you,” jenna springs forward to capture your lips with hers. the kiss was salty from the tears that were shed between the two of you but it was full of passion. two lovers in a case of miscommunication brought back together.

“i love you so much. don’t ever do that again baby, talk to me first. promise?”

“i love you more and i’d be fool to lose you again. i promise to come to you first before anything my love,” she places a kiss on your forehead before leaning it with hers.

#jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega angst #jenna ortega fluff #jenna ortega x reader

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thepixelelf · 1 year

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Huff, Puff

genres: modern werewolves/vampires/etc, established relationship, fluff, pouty whiny cheol pairing: human reader x werewolf scoups (hints of reader & vampire jeonghan) words: 1.1k warnings: descriptions of blood, a bullet wound, and injury. kissing. implied desire to go further but it doesn't happen lol. notes: for those of you in the notes of this post and this post. I gave in. it's 4:30 am and this idea wouldn't let go of me until I wrote it so I really hope this holds up for y'all. if people like it I might continue this story because it seems like an interesting (funny) plot to keep going

When an injured vampire shows up at your door, you're of course there to help. But your werewolf partner is more than a little wary of this vampire's intentions.

Seungcheol, for the record, not that anyone cares, not that anyone's asked, does not trust Jeonghan one bit.

He never has -- it's one of his many unwritten rules in life. Never trust a vampire. They're conniving little shits, all of them.

And Yoon Jeonghan, the conniviest, little shittiest of them all, is asleep in Seungcheol's room upstairs. In his bed. Snuggled up and comfy in his 100% Tencel lyocell silky cooling sheets.

"You're overreacting, Cheol," you say as you pull a pillowcase over one of the pillows in the guest bedroom. Another one is already covered and fluffed, set on the side of the bed Seungcheol would normally sleep on in the bed he shares with you. The one currently occupied by a lying, scheming vampire.

"Vampires don't even sleep," Seungcheol tries to tell you. sitting cross-legged on top of the comforter. "Why should he need our bed?"

You scoff, the sound coming out softly. There's a tiny, defiant smile on your face, and normally, Seungcheol would find that hot. Right now he's not exactly in the mood.

"Okay, first of all, isn't the whole 'no sleeping' thing from Twilight? You're the one who told me most of that stuff was inaccurate."

Crossing his arms, Seungcheol huffs through his nose. "It... is. But still--"

"And second of all, you saw how he was when I opened the door." You shiver at the memory, and Seungcheol reaches over for you. He scoots to the edge of the bed, hooks his legs around yours, and pulls you so you're standing right in front of him. Keeping his legs around you, he puts his hands on your waist, hoping you absorb his warmth through your pyjamas. He looks up at you just as you play with the ends of his hair near the nape of his neck, your other hand on his shoulder. You sigh. "He looked like a dead man walking."

"He is one."

You smack his shoulder lightly, but he managed to make you smile, so he doesn't even feel it. "You know what I mean!"

Seungcheol does know what you mean -- when Jeonghan had shown up at your door with no prior notice and a silver bullet in his shoulder, you played the part of strong, confident human for just long enough to dig the bullet out and watch Seungcheol carry Jeonghan into your bedroom (upon your insistence, of course). After that, you confessed to Seungcheol that you might faint if you had to clean up the bloodied living room floor. Seeing Jeonghan's skin crawl over his exposed flesh as soon as the silver left his system must have been jarring for you. The entire thing had to have been.

So, Seungcheol wiped up Jeonghan's dark ichor from the floor while you took a breather outside. When you returned, you wanted to check in on Jeonghan, and like hell was Seungcheol going to let you go alone. He didn't care how shot Jeonghan was.

You knew how protective Seungcheol tended to be, but you also knew how tense things were between your boyfriend and the vampire, so you compromised by having Seungcheol hover in the doorway while you brought a warm towel to the bedside.

Jeonghan took in a sharp breath when you wiped the sweat off his forehead, and the hairs on the back of Seungcheol's neck stood up. He growled when Jeonghan wrapped his lithe fingers around your wrist.

Without looking at Seungcheol, you held your other arm out, palm facing him, stopping him from approaching. He snarled, but you kept your arm up, insistent that he not interfere.

"Oh," Jeonghan breathed out when he opened his eyes a sliver. "It's you." He closed his eyes again, the slightest of smiles on his lips. "You smell nice."

Seungcheol swears this isn't his "never trust a vampire" rule talking. That smile looked straight mischievous.

He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you. His legs have relaxed, just resting on either side of you now. He presses his face into the soft fabric of your pyjamas. At least you don't smell like Jeonghan. That would be too much.

"I don't trust him," Seungcheol mumbles into the fabric.

You chuckle softly, still trying to stay quiet for your sleeping guest upstairs. "You really think Jeonghan faked all that to -- what? -- sleep in our nice bed?"

"Maybe..."

Or maybe to get close to you. But Seungcheol doesn't put that out there.

Bending over, you press a kiss to the crown of Seungcheol's head, then bring both your hands just under his cheeks. You tilt his face to look up at you, smiling when you see the exaggerated pout on his lips. Another kiss gets pressed to his forehead.

"Jeonghan is harmless," you say when you pull back. "There's a hunter in town, and he knew I could help him because none of you weirdos can touch pure silver. That's all."

Seungcheol's pout deepens, and his hands on your waist tighten their grip ever so slightly. "I dunno..." he mutters.

"You don't know?"

"Maybe I need some more convincing." Seungcheol straightens his back, lessening the distance between his face and yours. He takes one hand off your hip to poke a finger to his cheek, eyes bright.

You roll your eyes but smile, and you lean down to press a short kiss to his cheek.

"More."

You kiss his other cheek.

"More." He pouts his lips out, clear in his intentions.

You kiss his forehead again.

Seungcheol fully whines, reminiscent of a puppy. He wraps one arm behind you and tugs you closer (somehow, if possible) impatiently. His other hand taps a finger against his bottom lip, as if he couldn't make it anymore obvious.

Laughing, you rest your arms over his shoulders. "You're a hard man to convince, Mr Big Bad Wolf."

But you kiss him anyway, pressing the lips he loves so much against his with a smile. The corners of his own lips spread too, upon contact, and his hand travels to the back of your thigh, pulling one of your knees up onto the bed.

"I could be bigger and badder, you know," he mumbles against your lips, a smirk teasing at his face.

You break away from him, bottom lip caught for a second between his teeth. "Maybe another night, love. We've got a guest with super hearing upstairs."

Practically rolling over him, you get comfy in the smaller guest bed, smiling at Seungcheol when he flops down on his side with a heavy sigh.

Yoon Jeonghan is not only a conniving, little shit of a vampire, but a fucking cockblock, too.

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emzii-hi · 8 months

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My little theory rant

Okay so today I got caught up in some of Tubbo's streams in specific the one on him questioning the one and only "Enjoy the island" Curcurcho. First, I want to say that boy was that highly entertaining to watch like omg Tubbo was killing it.

But from that whole thing we got really useful information on some bits of the lore and shit that goes on in the island. So here are the points that i found the most interesting

FOREVER

like firstly we know that Forever won the election and is given tasks to do in his presidential reign. I personally full on thought he worked with the Federation but he's more like a sub section in the way a towns major or representative might be in a province or state. And Cucurcho basically was like yeah, he's the pres of the island basically but so far, he doesn't have any actual big pres power. Oher than a bit that was given to him by the feds.

WALL AND FED BUILDING

Tubbo then beings to ask about the buildings such as the wall, which until know all we know it was to separate the first people who arrived at the island and that they pushed a red button which left to the destruction of a bit of said wall and the later introduction of the eggs. And the recent random build was built were all build by the qsmp feds. Who in the feds built and for what reason was classified information. (kinda saw that coming as a secret)

Eggs

Now the honestly the most intresting part of the convo was the subject of the eggs. Our dear tubbo asked so many of the right questions. Like if the eggs hatch which honestly in the long game i hope they do because of the headcannon/cannon lore on the eggs looking like the parents being more accurate after hatching. And he touch on the fact of there being more eggs which if you haven't seen Quackity's and Celbits pov we can definitely say there are more eggs.

Though on Quackity's pov it shows more of either the eggs being recreated in a lab and are trying to be replicated. (The egg we see in quackity's pov was A1 who was doing some sort of test and failed.) Or maybe each time a egg fully dies they are revived and have their memory wiped and gets tested again for other reasons. Which is possible cause ElQuackity came back with no recollection of the eggs and most events of the island. With that being said we know for sure that the qsmp febs have something weird to do with the eggs in general and that Quackity also had some to do with the qsmp feds as he was the one who invited everyone to said island.

We also know that just like the first few eggs that appeared to the first few players that arrived in the island were found in a adoption centre just like the one that cellbit found with the hidden room and the book. Could that be why after richas and pomme kinda just appeared to the other parents after awhile? was it that they learned from their mistake? Who knows all we know is that there are definitely more eggs that was first thought and possibly a more secret adoption centres. (This could also maybe tie in the fact that the codes are trying to kill eggs and now trying to be them.)

Juanaflippa is the only egg to be revied throughout the whole smp. Now when tubbo asked about this whole ordeal on getting eggs lives back, Cucurcho first was like that's classified but the was saying no which could be their way of confusing and avoiding the whole question as a whole. This obviously could just be them confused on the question but its still iffy.

Again the whole thing was super interesting.

The Federation

The Federation it self was a crazy clue in its self. Tubbo compared the whole this to the stranger thing for those who don't know Stranger things there is this lab where they experimented on children such. And Cucurcho being all the island is perfect and Tubbo was like agreeing for the most part. Leading to this.

We know that the qsmp Feds what them to enjoy the island but we aren't entirely sure why. This was super interesting to me in the sense of double meaning like yes the island is "perfect" for players and for the most part they are content but there is a whole theory that the reason that they gave them eggs was to distract them but from what? I think its like a whole simulation backroom idea. That the true enjoyers of the island is actually qsmp feds as they have ways to test and recreate certain things and certain people. Again possibly tying the blue bird theory of Jaiden being a escaped backroom project that was later brought back by Quackity's request.

Tubbo again asked a great question that i never really have thought of and I don't see most people wonder this. Do these Cucurcho's have free will. This was question bit was weird back and forth momment of yes they kinda of do have free will to a weird I am a employee of the Federation moment. I would say that for the most part they do have free will in the sense they can walk around and talk with people but have maybe a signal que of other Fed workers looking at them closely to make sure they don't step out of line and do their required tasked kinda of like it you ere told to do something at gun point. I honestly don't know.

They the whole might there be other island.

Its in the name itself. The Federation Census Bureau. The word Bureau itself means a office or department of for transacting a particular action or a government office. Obviously in the context of the book it was used in singularity and not plurality to identify more but it still slightly concerning cause a Bureau it self is a of agreed divided specialties. So it would make sense is that Quisadilla Island to not be the only one in a large network. Again Tubbo be asking the right questions. Also the fact that Cucurcho's answer to Tuboo being like on the idea of more then one island was saying classified was amazing cause it makes it even more believable that there is more island as one island in singularities existence does not need to classified

IN CONCLUSION!! Tubbo was crazy in getting the most general answers and vague questions that allowed us to get at least and idean of wtf is going on with feds and the island. And im sorry for going on this whole rant but i had to get this off my chest so yeah. That whole bit was wild and really had me being like wtf moments

HERES THE LINK TO THE VIDEO OF TUBBO'S DECTIVE MOMENT

(1) Tubbo Asks Cucurucho All The Lore Questions He Could Think OF! QSMP - YouTube

#qsmp #qsmp tubbo #qsmp cucurucho #qsmp eggs #qsmp theory #qsmp jaiden #qsmp cellbit #qsmp quackity #theory #qsmp federation #blue bird theory #qsmp egg theory #this was crazy #qsmp tubbo rules #answers and questions #rant #conspiracy theories #qsmp wall #qsmp osito bimbo

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spontaneousglitterbees · 1 year

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[DRV3 Postgame AU Masterpost]

Sorry it's taking me a bit to answer asks, I read every one and cherish them -! I'd figured I'd doodle a bit in the answers, but then ah. This one changed course from 'whats up with shuichi' to 'actually we're overdue for exposition'.

Oh, backstory?

Since Class 79 is at Hope's Peak For Real in this AU, Danganronpa can't very well be like canon. Our solution: infighting, sabotage, and plenty of Drama! Discussion under the cut.

I'd call it a non-Despair AU; the world's not over, and I'm currently thinking V3 is the only killing game at this point in the timeline, catalyzed by good old-fashioned envy (and, truthfully, indignation that strangers get to live out your fantasy while you and your friends are stuck in the building next door... the nerve!) Our mastermind isn't exactly a master hacker, but she's also not working alone. This Team Danganronpa isn't trying to physically harm anyone, but showing off their collective capacity to coordinate and maintain a takeover like this is bound to catch the administrator's eye. All press is good press, and there's a lot (of investor funding, mostly) riding on stories of TAPP's success, so HPA is incentivized to intervene ASAP. The team did not account for the aftershocks of making their peers virtually kill each other. Rantaro is having memory issues, Miu has to catch her breath (to her chagrin), Kiibo doesn't have a body, Kokichi has his cane... and that's just the beginning.

Whoops.

TAPP is kind of like "what if instead of synthetically pouring all of the talents into just the one dude, we experimented on some charity cases to see if we can just artificially build an Ultimate from the ground-up". The tech in the flashback-lights is definitely at play here, though HPA proper wasn't planning on a full memory wipe/personality override (but kept the theoretical capability in their back pocket in case things went south as Advanced Gaslighting) but uh. A bunch of highschoolers took hold of the controls, which is how you get a bunch of kids that sound like characters. They still are.

In this case, Team DR is like at least 3 at most 10 disgruntled teens in the Reserve Course tired of being overlooked. More looking for mischief than harm, but hey, if they can convince the interlopers being Ultimates isn't worth it and they should leave the school after all this and free up the floorspace? They won't argue. One of the things that strikes me about DR as a series is how its internal logic is less concerned with logistics than matching the emotional weight of what it can be like to be growing up and going through high school, so I'm trying to lean in that direction. I'm not completely sure what all this means for the THH and SDR2 crews, precisely, but we'll cross/burn that bridge when we get to it I guess!

This comic taught me a lot of new tools and techniques, hence it feels to me like it took forever but I am super stubborn and couldn't work on something else until the script in my head was actualized, which turned into 'the whole thing being done'.

There's a lot of easter eggs and little jokes in the first page in particular, should you seek them! Consider this another 'cut' in case you want to try and read the Small Handwriting on Rantaro and Miu's desks for yourself.

First:

I already brought up some of them in the WIP so I'll try not to repeat too much and just link here

Kokichi could join the toast, but doesn't (and yet he still sits with everyone). Kiibo doesn't drink anything at all but does want to be in the toast, so he gets a bluetooth speaker. Surely he will blast some vocaloid shortly.

That's Kaito's notebook Kichi is doodling in; Kaito draws a bunch of stars, and I tried to sort-of-almost emulate the drawing on Kichis whiteboard and also get across that it lacks line confidence (sketch over and over the same lines) and he keeps creasing the paper because post-press it doesn't take much activity for his hands to hurt. Also kinda wanted to imply that Kaito not only knows Ouma has his notebook, but probably gave it to him because he's learned it's inevitable Kichi will tease him and draw in it and at least being upfront about it he won't manage to hurt himself trying to steal it (phantom thief or not!) Kokichi's pride is a little hurt at first, but it becomes another of their small routines they don't acknowledge out loud that nevertheless are a kind of familiar comfort for both of them.

Space debris at terminal velocity is no joke man even a paint chip won't just crack your helmet (which you'd only survive via cartoon logic and presumably-magic duct tape) but easily crack your skull at least. I did a project on it in high school once, I should really look for it tbh

Rantaro’s To Do

Set up weekly meeting

Check what is up w/ Kiyo

Make sure Kichi goes to therapy this week

Call Rillianne

Rantaro’s Reminders

Blue: Class

Red: Study

Cyan: ‘Council (or w/e)’

Green: ‘Travel Nerd Time >:P’

Purple: ‘Hang out w/ me ~!’

Orange: Group Project

Yellow: ‘Call ur family this week, srsly’

Miu’s Notes (“Polygraph Improvements”)

Before install into K1-B0’s new body, improve algorithm for fig. (figurative) speech.

Consult Ishimaru?

- Gonta can get in contact

ALSO

I really did make some actual charts based on data from the character bios comparing things like height, birthdate, etc. vs. victim, killer, or survivor status (tho that is a gantt chart template and not filled in, oop). TL;DR the most interesting one to me is this:

Where basically when you account for how many students across the games are stated to have each blood type and the proportion of those students in a certain role, things are pretty even (AB has so few students its bars arent really representative of a trend, I just included them anyway) the type Os are disproportionately likely to be killers. For the record, there's one confirmed type O victim, and it's Nagito. I have no idea what this means. But if I am blursed with this knowledge, now you are too!

The code in tsumugis glasses isnt an easter egg bc i was getting tired and frustrated but the pods are roughly (no kiibo shifts things a bit) in class trial configuration, and on the base layer before all the Rest Of The Panel got added you could kind of tell who's who. Not so much anymore, so: Saihara has his hat on, for the record, and Kokichi is on his side while everyone else is on their back. Might even be a little restless, the feeling of underlying unreality playing substitute for some of (only some of, they're still being monitored) the surveillance anxiety. Fun!

And hey, as always, and especially if you've gotten this far: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

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bravo4iscool · 4 months

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sister

there‘s too little trent in this world, so take this🕺

i hope you like this lol.

reader is clay‘s little sister and her nickname is „missy“, it‘s no indication of her name tho :)

word count: 5k

not proof-read :)

(masterlist)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

You happily smile and run into your brother's arms as soon as you see him. „I missed you big man,“ you laugh.

„Missed you too, Missy,“ Clay whispers into your hair, holding you close for another minute. „Thank you for inviting us,“ he then tells you, breaking the hug with a big smile on his face.

You grin and lightly shove his shoulder. „Of course I‘d invite you. It’s not often you have free time, you know. Besides, I don‘t want to spend Thanksgiving alone.“

When you look behind your older brother you see his team members finally approaching. They were waiting at the beginning of your driveway. They weren‘t all here today though. The team leader, Jason Hayes was with his family, as well as Ray Perry, but the others were invited to your Thanksgiving dinner.

„Hello, welcome,“ you enthusiastically greet them, waving. „Nice to finally meet you all. Clay told me much about you guys!“ You smile at them, shaking hand after hand.

They all smile at you and then one of them starts speaking. „Thanks for the invite. I‘m Sonny. I‘m surprised Blondie never told us about you,“ he tells you and you side-eye Clay before you start laughing.

„I think I need to have a talk with him regarding that matter,“ you tease. „But, let’s not talk about that! Please, come inside.“ You motion them to follow you and walk into your house. It was a little small but perfect for you. You couldn‘t imagine living somewhere else.

They follow you like a bunch of lost puppies and it‘s more than funny to you. You show them your living room and tell them to sit down. You would bring the food shortly, you say.

Clay follows you into the kitchen where you run around humming to yourself. „Are you trying to feed a whole bataillon?“ he laughs and you shriek.

„Jesus Christ!“ You place your hand over your heart. „Don‘t scare me like that!“ you scold him, jabbing your finger at him.

„I’m sorry,“ he laughs, pressing a kiss to your head. „Won‘t do it again. I just wanted to help you,“ he explains, starting to stir the gravy. „Been with these guys for too long.“

„Well, you chose to, didn‘t you?“ you ask putting the pie in the oven. „By the way,“ you look at him. „Who‘s the one with the beard?“

„We all have a beard Missy,“ Clay snorts and you roll your eyes.

„The one who didn‘t talk,“ you explain, tilting your head at your brother. „He only looked at me a bit strangely.“ You place the baking gloves on the counter and wipe a couple hair strands out of your face.

„Could be Brock or Trent. Why you wanna know?“

„He’s cute,“ you say with a shrug and Clay stops stirring. He turns around, eyes wide.

“No. No, no, no! You won’t make a move on one of my teammates!” he almost screams and you only laugh.

“Why not?”

“Because, firstly, I would work with the man fucking my sister, which is already weird enough and, secondly, you know our job,” his voice turns serious. “I don’t want you to…get your heart broken.” Clay averts his gaze, memories of his own breakup with Stella surfacing. She wasn’t able to live with the fear of losing him…

You already had him to worry about but dating another SEAL? He didn’t know if you could take that much stress and uncertainty. He wanted only the best for you.

You sign and walk towards him. “I know your job,” you confirm, gently placing your hand on his upper arm. “But does a dangerous job mean you guys are unlovable or don’t deserve it?”

You look up at him and he wants to cry. You were right but still, he didn’t want you to love one of them. Without saying anything he pulls you into his arms and keeps you close.

“Don’t…do anything you’ll regret,” he whispers and you tighten your arms around him. You never wanted to let him go. You’ve missed him too much…

“I promise,” you whisper back, a little tear escaping your eye. “Besides, I just said he’s cute. Never said I’ll make a move,” you then immediately joke, breaking the hug with a sniff.

Clay only rolls his eyes, trying to hide his smirk. “Maybe you did but I know you better.”

Trent sits on your couch, involved in a heavy discussion about football with Sonny. The Texan couldn’t accept the fact that he was the only hardcore football fan.

“We can watch soccer instead,” Brock retorts with a snort and immediately gains a death glare from Sonny.

„We‘re in America and in America you watch football!“ Sonny proudly exclaims, straightening his back and popping out his chest. „Besides, it‘s a long Thanksgiving tradition!“

Trent just rolls his eyes and pushes himself off the couch. He would look and ask if he could help anywhere. He’s not used to doing nothing. His hands are itching to do something.

When he‘s about to enter your kitchen he sees you and Clay breaking a hug. He decides to wait outside. You haven’t seen your brother in a long time and he wanted to give the two of you some privacy. When he‘s sure he can enter he slightly clears his throat.

You look to the door and smile when you see one of Clay‘s teammates. „Hey,“ you greet him, walking over to shake his hand. „Can I help you with anything?“, you want to know and he shakes his head.

„No, thanks. I actually wanted to ask if I can help you,“ he answers, trying his best to not look too intimidating. His height didn‘t help with that. „I‘m Trent, by the way,“ he’s careful not to stumble over his words.

He was nervous. Why was he nervous? You only were Clay’s sister. He didn’t know you. You didn‘t know him. So, why the hell was he nervous about talking to you?

„Uhm,“ you look around and totally miss the way Clay eyes his friend with a stern gaze (You didn‘t miss it). „I actually do need help, yes. These-“ you point at a couple of pots and the turkey. „-need to be set on the table.“

“Okay,” Trent slightly smiles before he looks at Clay. “You wanna help?” The younger SEAL stares at his friend for a couple seconds before he nods.

“Yea, I’ll tell you where to put it.”

“Great,” Trent mumbles as he picks up the turkey and leaves the kitchen, Clay following him with one of the pots. You look after them with a smile, then a laugh when you hear how your brother instructs his friend.

You decide to head to your living room to call the other guys. „Food‘s ready,“ you smile at them, peaking your head through the door. Sonny immediately stands up and claps his hands.

„That‘s my call!“ the Texan says and Brock snorts. Then he also stands up and walks towards you.

„I hope this isn‘t too much to ask but the dog‘s still in the car and I wanted to know if I‘d be allowed to get him out?“ He lightly tilts his head and you nod, an excited grin on your face.

„Sure! You can go and get him. Clay told me much about Cerberus!“ Relief washes over Brock and he excuses himself to get Cerberus. Normally he always took him with him but he didn‘t know how you‘d react to the shepherd dog.

„I‘m surprised that he didn‘t go crazy already,“ Clay retorts, suddenly by your side. „That dog‘s his life…“

„Well, at least he‘s got someone, no? Dog or not.“ You smile at your brother before you leave him alone to sit down in your dining room. „Are you coming?“ you turn around and he nods before following you.

„Missy, it‘s me!“ Your head shoots up when you hear Sonny‘s voice. What was the Texan doing in your house? Not that you didn‘t want him here, you‘ve become amazing friends with Bravo Team since your Thanksgiving dinner but it was 12am, so why was Sonny here?

Your head pops out of the kitchen and you eye Sonny. „What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at work.“

„Trent said I need to step back for a day or two. That fucker got me the wrong way during sparring,“ he explains while he stretches himself on your couch. „You have no problem with me being here, do you? I can also leave if you want me to.“ He looks up at you with a raised eyebrow.

„Oh,“ you smile. „No, you can stay. I have no problem with that.“ You turn to leave to the kitchen again then you turn around once more. „I hope you‘re fine lasagne? Clay asked me to cook it since he‘ll be around for lunch today.“

Sonny starts to grin and stand up immediately. „Did you say lasagne? Count me in Ms.Spenser!“ He follows you to the kitchen like a lost puppy and you laugh at that.

„You really want to compete with Cerberus, do you?“ Sonny only snorts at your question and sits down on one of your kitchen chairs. You laugh and shake your head. „Normally he‘s the one following me to the kitchen like he‘s a saint.“

„He ain‘t a saint,“ Sonny retorts and you grin.

„No, he‘s not. But you are?“ You turn to look at him, just fast enough to see him smirk.

„Never said I was one,“ he answers with a shrug, a full grin now working its way onto his face. „No one‘s a saint,“ he continues, stretching out his legs. „Except for you maybe. You come quite close to one.“

„Why‘s that?“ you ask, sprinkling cheese over the lasagna. You glance at him over your shoulder. He has his hands crossed in his lap and his head laid back, eyes closed. You smile at that sight. If you learned one thing about Sonny it was that he always acted all tough and untouchable but deep down he just wanted peace and calm…

„You‘re nice, you care for us, Trent has a crush on you,“ Sonny starts listing, not paying attention to the fact that he‘d just exposed his brother and you freeze. Trent had what? Surely you must‘ve misheard it. „Jason likes your muffins, Clay isn‘t bitching around that much when he was with you before.“ Sonny opens his eyes and looks at you. „You want me to continue?“

You shake your head and walk over to the oven. „No…“ you sound a bit confused, almost irritated by Sonny‘s words. „You don‘t need to praise me to the heavens, Sonny.“ you force a smile at him. „I‘m just…a normal person. Nothing special.“ You push the lasagna inside and turn the oven on.

Sonny tilts his head at you. Something he said caught you off guard, he can feel it. „Is it because I told you Jace likes your muffins? I was not supposed to tell you but-“

You turn around. „It‘s not the muffins Sonny.“

„Mhh…“ Sonny recalls everything he told you and then his eyes widen. „Oh shit! It‘s what I said about Trent, right? Oh fuck!“ He stands up. „Look, just- I don‘t know… Just because I said it doesn‘t mean it needs to be true!“

You shut him up with your gaze and for a second he just stands in your kitchen staring at you. Then realization hits him. „Oh… You want it to be true, don‘t you?“ You feel blood rush into your cheeks and avert your eyes. Sonny wouldn‘t let you hear the end of it now…

You expect the Texan to crack jokes and maybe laugh but he just looks at you. „You like him“, he then slowly puts the pieces together further and you simply nod along. „Now I own Ray 50$, damn.“

Your eyes widen and you open your mouth. „You had bets on me?“ He can‘t be serious, can he?

„Of course,“ Sonny seems so casual about it. „Ever since you brought Trent soup when he had a cold. You didn‘t even do it for Clay when he was bedridden.“ You don‘t know how to respond to that. If the team knew… did Trent know it too? Your palms start to sweat.

„Does…does he know?“ you carefully ask Sonny and he snorts. Was that a good sign now or a bad one?

„That fucker is as oblivious as Cerb when Brock tells him they‘re going swimming but instead he drags him to the vet.“ You blink at Sonny, not sure what to do with that answer. Sonny sighs. „Long story short, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t even think there's a possibility of you liking him back. That man is so head over heels over you that he tries to find even the slightest excuse to show up at your front door.“

„He…does?“ you’re still surprised by the fact that Trent apparently also likes you. You didn‘t know how to process all this.

„Of course,“ Sonny laughs. „Matter of fact, I‘m 100% sure he’s trying to convince Clay right now to let him come with him. Man‘s desperate to see you.“

You want to answer but then you think for a second. Why was Sonny telling you all this? Why was he breaking Trent‘s trust like that? This wasn‘t normal for Sonny…

„Why are you doing this Sonny?“ You then decide to ask. „Why are you telling me all this? Aren‘t you…betraying Trent right now?“

It‘s 11, maybe 11:30pm when you leave work and the cold wind collides with your face. You shiver and pull your jacket faster around you. You should‘ve taken your fucking car instead of walking to work this afternoon. You curse yourself as you quicken your steps and look around almost paranoid.

With Clay being your brother you always were very aware of what was happening around you. Clay made sure to teach you what he thought was necessary for you to know, that included the observation of everything around you and you’ve never been more thankful for it. It made you feel a tad more safe, especially now that you were walking around alone at night.

When you hear footsteps getting close to you you fish for your phone, never being more happy to have Clay on speed dial. You press your phone to your ear, your eyes glancing behind your shoulder. There was someone…

You decide to walk another way back home. One where you walk through the more populated areas of the town. While you try to keep an eye on your surroundings you wait for Clay to pick up. When he doesn‘t you suppress a curse and dial the next number. Sonny.

He would pick up, no? He is always on his phone anyway. But Sonny doesn’t pick up. You try to reach Clay again, then Sonny. They don’t answer.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, glancing behind you again. Whoever was walking behind you was surely following you. You’ve been taking other turns for the third time in a row now and they were still behind you.

You squint at your phone and take a deep breath. Without thinking twice about it you dial Trent’s number. You’re afraid you’ll break your phone with the grip you’re having on it but you try to keep calm. Clay prepared you for situations like this. Kinda.

“Trent? It’s me. Am I interrupting something?” you let out a relieved breath when he answers. “Could you do me a favor?” you’re even more relieved when he immediately answers with a yes. “I’m on my way back home from work and there’s someone follow-“ you can’t even finish your sentence before you hear him get up and grab his keys.

He asks you where you are and you quickly send him your live location. He promises you he’ll be there as fast as he can and your legs nearly give out from the sudden reassurance. You thank him over and over, quickening your steps once again.

“I’ll be there in 15,” you hear Trent say and you visibly relax. “Stay where you are, try to find a crowd or something close to that. I’m gonna stay in the line,” he explains and you nod, telling him you’ll do the best you can.

Your eyes scan the buildings surrounding you and then fall onto a small 24/7 shop. There surely was someone who could keep you company while Trent arrives, right?

“There’s a uh store,” you carefully say, your feet walking yourself over there almost by themselves. As expected Trent tells you to enter and look out for someone.

A small ‘ding’ signals you entering the store and you immediately start to hide between the shelves. And you were right to do so because only seconds later the bell rings again. You take a deep breath and grab one of the baking mixtures to look busy.

Then you call Trent’s name again. “I’m pretty sure they followed me into the store,” you quietly say, trying to glance around as unsuspiciously as possible. You pause for a second, the grip around the baking mix tightening. “Please tell me you’re here soon…”

“5 minutes,” he tells you, flooring the throttle of his truck. “5 minutes, then I’m there.” His grip on the steering wheel turns his knuckles white and he needs to keep himself calm more than ever.

On the battlefield he never was that nervous. His brothers could take care of themselves but you… You couldn’t.

Yes, Clay probably taught you basic self defense, he thinks but still. He could protect you better than you ever could…

When he arrives at your location he doesn’t bother properly parking his truck. He jumps out and tries to calmly walk towards the store but it‘s like his feet are itching.

He raises his phone, looking at the still ongoing call. „I‘m here,“ he tells you and then he opens the door. You‘re in his arms before he can even blink.

He stumbles two steps backwards before he can wrap his arms around you. „It‘s okay, it‘s okay,“ he says, his hand finding its way to the back of your head, keeping you close to him. „You’re not alone anymore.“

„God, that man was creepy,“ you breathlessly laugh, breaking the hug. You immediately miss the warmth Trent generated and heavily blush. „I‘m sorry for calling you so out of the blue-“ you want to apologize but he’s raising his hand to stop you.

„No, none of that. You can call me whenever you need. I‘m always there for you,“ he explains, looking you deep in the eyes. „Now, did you see the man? Do you know who he is?“

Trent‘s eyes narrow and the sparkling got replaced by a dangerous look. You shiver and swallow. You turn so you stand beside Trent and then you nod into the direction of a man. „That‘s him,“ you say. „He‘s been following me for at least three blocks.“

Trent looks at the man, then at you. „My truck‘s outside. Gimme three minutes and I‘ll join you there. I don‘t want you to witness this.“ He looks at you again and you nod.

„Okay. I‘ll go and wait…outside.“ You turn your back to Trent and leave, adrenaline pumping through your veins. You knew what he was gonna do. He‘ll nicely confront the man and probably calmly tell him to fuck off.

You stand beside his truck, already climbing in since it‘s still running and you can already see yourself patching up his bloody knuckles later. You sigh when you think about that. Sometimes you thought that he was just chasing trouble…

„Why are you looking at me like that?“ you mumble into your pillow, your eyes heavy with sleep.

„You’re pretty,“ Trent says and you can hear the smile in his voice. You quietly laugh and rub your eyes. Then you sit up in your bed and look at him. He sits on the floor, his back popped up against a wall.

„How long‘ve you been watching me?“ you want to know, smiling at him. He accompanied you home after the incident the night before and he refused to leave…

You offered him your couch, your bed even but he declined. So, he probably was awake the whole night, making sure you’re safe.

“I woke up about two hours ago,” he lies, placing his arms on his bent legs. “I made breakfast,” he then tells you, standing up with a low grunt. “Get ready, then we can eat.” He smiles before he leaves your room.

You quickly stand up and throw on some clothes before you rush to the bathroom to get ready. On the other side of your flat stood Trent in your kitchen, asking himself if he was going crazy.

He couldn’t think straight whenever he was with you and damn, it was showing. Telling you you look pretty while you just woke up? Watching you sleep in the first place? What the hell was he going through?

He wasn’t unfamiliar with being in love, that’s what brought him his two ex wives… So, he really wasn’t new to it but why was he acting so weird with you now? It shouldn’t be weird, no?

“You made all this?” your voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he looks at you. Fuck, you were even more beautiful now… How was he supposed to look past that and just…be normal?

„I did, yeah,“ he smiles, hiding his fidgeting hands behind his back. You grin up at him, the crinkles around your eyes showing and he just feels like he’s falling in love with you all over again.

„You didn‘t have to,“ you laugh, crossing your arms in front of your body. „This is- You didn‘t need to-“ you want to finish your sentence but Trent interrupts you. He gently leads you towards your table and pulls back a chair for you.

„I wanted to,“ he simply says. „Besides I already got the call that I need to leave soon, so I just wanted to make you happy before I and the team vanish for god knows how long again.“ He sits down opposite to you and fills your and his glass with orange juice.

„Will Clay pick you up?“ you ask, taking a sip of your orange juice. Trent shakes his head saying something about Clay not being allowed to know he was here and that Sonny wouldn‘t let him hear the end of it if he found out that he spent the night at yours.

You only laugh at that and continue to eat your breakfast. „I can drive you?“ you then suggest but he kindly denies.

„I can drive on my own Missy, don‘t worry. Besides, don’t you have to work today?“ Trent chews on his bread roll, curiously eying you but you just shake your head. You wouldn‘t need to work the next three days.

Your lungs sting as you run into the ER. You look around, panic in your eyes, your body shaking.

“Ma’am? Can we help you?” a young nurse asks, clearly worried. “Is everything okay?” She gently places a hand on your arm and your head snaps towards her.

“Clay Spenser. Where is he?” you rasp out, eyes teary. “I’ve been told he’s here.” Your voice breaks and the first tears run down your cheeks.

The nurse nods along and carefully leads you down a hallway. “I’m afraid we can’t help you but my colleague can surely tell you which room he is.” She smiles at you and you want to smile back but you just…can’t.

After half an hour of asking around you’re finally led to your brother’s room, your throat dry. You didn‘t know anything about his condition. Everything they told you was that he was being treated in the hospital.

„One of his friends is also in there,“ you’re informed as you come to a hold in front of the room. „We can ask him to leave at any moment though since he does not count as family.“

You only smile at the nurse. „No need for that. I…know him.“ You didn‘t know who of Bravo was with your brother right now but nevertheless you knew him. And besides, this team was family. They maybe didn‘t share the same DNA but the same blood was adorning their hands.

When the nurse was sure you were fine on your own she left you at the door, a comforting hand on your shoulder before she walked away. You stare at the door, taking a deep breath and opening it with trembling hands.

You pushed it open, your breath hitching when you notice all the monitors scattered around the room and the endless beeping of said machines.

You can see someone move and walk towards you in the corner of your eye. You know who it is when he lays his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace.

Trent doesn’t say a word while you cry, only holding you close and keeping a hand comfortingly on your back. He felt a bit helpless right now, not really knowing what to do but all you needed was just him holding you…

„Thank you for staying with him,“ you whisper after a couple moments, sniffing and breaking the hug. You want to wipe away your tears, feeling embarrassed for losing control like that but he gently wraps his hands around your wrists, pulling them away from your face.

You’re confused for a moment but then he pulls out a tissue and carefully starts to wipe away your tears. You feel like you could start to cry all over again.

„Thank you,“ you sniff again but he just shakes his head.

„You don‘t need to thank me.“ Then he pulls you into his arms again, planting a kiss on your head. „You both are family.“ Trent breaks the hug and cups your face with gentle hands.

„I know you’re scared for him right now,“ Trent glances into the direction of the bed where Clay was laying. „But he’s stable. He‘s pulling through. He’s a strong one.“

Your hand reaches out to place it over his, pulling them from your face and holding them in yours. You say nothing, only holding his hands and working up the courage to finally look at your brother.

„How did it happen?“ you ask, your voice almost being stuck in your throat.

„That’s…classified. I‘m sorry,“ Trent says in a quiet voice. „But, he’s got a couple of broken ribs, his lungs have seen better days and the fingers of his right hand are broken.“

Fresh tears gather in your eyes as you listen to Trent, letting go of him with trembling hands and walking towards Clay. „I told him that his job would demand its tribute sooner or later. He didn‘t listen…“ You sniff, carefully sitting down at the edge of the bed. „He never listens to me…“

“I thought you’d kill me as soon as I wake up,” Clay breathlessly laughs while you take a look at his bandages. He was currently laying on your couch, letting himself be treated by you.

“I would’ve,” you mumble. “If it weren’t for Trent.” You reach for the bandage tape and rip off a piece to place it over his arm brace so the bandage would stay in place.

Clay looks at you, tilting his head. “You like him, don’t you?” he then carefully asks and you halt for a second.

“What if I do?” you return the question, avoiding his gaze and fumbling with the tape in your hands.

You can feel your brother looking at you anyway, his eyes burning into your head. “I’d probably try and beat him up.”

“You would fail.”

“I know.” His hand reaches for yours and you finally look up. “I know what I told you when you first met them and…I still mean it but I can’t control who you love.” Clay pauses for a second, his gaze softening. “If you love him then so it be… Besides, he also has a thing for you but I think you know that already.” Clay starts to chuckle at the end of his sentence, his thumb carefully stroking the back of your hand.

“Guard your heart Missy. Don’t give it to the next best asshole.”

“Are you saying your friend is an asshole?” Your eyes widen with surprise.

“That’s not what I said!” Clay immediately shakes his head. “He’s a good guy—I know that for sure—but there are dudes who aren’t as amazing as lovely Trent. I’m asking you to be careful about them.”

You slightly smile before you sigh and stand up. “I don’t think you have to worry about me Clay. I’ll be fine as long as you don’t decide to run into a grenade anytime soon again.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes in a joking manner. “Sonny said the path was clear.”

“You think he’s okay with this?” Trent carefully asks as he intertwines his fingers with yours.

“I don’t care what he thinks,” you reply, leaning against him, looking down at your hands. “I’m a grown up. I can do what I want.”

Trent chuckles, glancing at you with a gentle smile. “Do I need to expect the big-brother-talk?” He then wants to know. He needed to know what he needed to prepare for when he saw Clay again.

“More of a big-brother-beating,” you snort with a laugh. “I told him he’d lose and he knows it too but he wants to try anyway.”

“I promise I won’t be too hard on him,” Trent laughs, pressing a kiss to your head. “He’s still not cleared to operate so I need to look after him anyway.”

You don’t reply to that, only enjoying the moment, finally in Trent’s arms, without having to worry about anything in the world. You knew that sooner or later you’d be confronted by his job and its bad sides but right now you didn’t care about that.

You were with him and that was wall what you needed right now.

#writing #ao3 #fanfiction #archive of our own #story writing #seal team #seal team paramount #trent sawyer #brock reynolds #jason hayes #clay spenser #sonny quinn #scott carter #trent sawyer x reader #trent sawyer seal team #brock reynolds seal team #jason hayes seal team #clay spenser seal team #sonny quinn seal team

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specialstay · 1 year

Text

[03:00am]

This is the long wanted part 2! Im ao sorry for being this late </3

There was the silence again and that disgusting feeling in your chest. You knew that he has already promised more than one time to spend some time with you and it didn't change. He kept getting stuck at work.

But what if he's serious now and really does change?

Would you be rather with him here, not sure if he will change or just have some space and really have some time to think about everything.

"I think its best if I somewhere else tonight" you say and couldnt dare to look in his puppy eyes and instead deeply analyzed that picture on your nightstand. Too afraid to turn around and look in his tearing eyes which has always broken your heart in milion pieces.

He removed his hand from your back and that little bit of warmth it previously gave you flew away. It felt like breaking up but thats not what you said... right?

That anxious feeling you knew flew through your body and was sticking to every bone in your now cold body. Have you messed up this time?

"Y/n.." his voice was shaking and made it almost to a competition between his voice and your hands, you stomach turned around when you thought about all the possible endings this could have now.

"Do you want to break up?" you couldnt tell who was more scared to hear this answer, you or him.

"Chan I gave up so many things for you and i dont wanna throw that away" you finally say and for you, this was a 'no, i dont want to break up' and thought that you had calmed him down a little with that but no, his response was unexpected.

"Instead of giving love as a reason you say that you dont want to break up because of all the things you've done for me" his tone was a mixture of anger and pain, more like disappointed.

"Chan thats not what i meant" you immediately say before he interprets everything wrong and finally turns around to see him. His eyes usually filled with joy and love are dead, sad and lifeless.

"But thats what you just said. If you only stay with me because of the time we've been together and the things you did, i want you to break up" you desperately try and find some light in his eyes, just a little sparkle.

"No you misunderstood me" you say in shock while turing around so you can really face him. "I would never stay only because i have invested a lot, I would only stay if i still love that person and you are that person. The person I love" youre facing him and put his hands in yours and insead of responding, he just looked down at your hands. Just like that one time he was anxious and you we're calming him down before a show. You put his hands in yours and moved your thumb a little to calm him down. Just like he used to do.

"When youre not happy with a new song you just dont throw it away. You sit there for hours and try to make it better, to fix it" he was looking up and the last 3 words gave him hope that this wasnt over, that you two can just go to sleep and forget about all this, but you werent done yet.

"And sometimes if you get stuck on a melody, or any part of the song, you put it aside for a few days and start again" you voice was soft, avoiding any type of miss communication.

Pictures of you two wont stop appearing in your head. All the good memories.

"If i get get it right after some time ill just delete that whole track..." he says quietly and you noticed the tears on your face as some of them were traveling down your lips, almost synchro with his tears.

"We wont throw this away" you say in a shaking voice and finally give in the urge to wipe away his tears. "If you throw away this song I will be mad" you smile with tears as he wiped away your tears.

"What are we going to do with this song?" he asks and you felt that anxious feeling leaving your body with every breath you take.

"I dont want to put it away for some time. Im eager to make it perfect from this very second"

You couldn't resist anymore.

Within seconds your lips collide with his and it caught him off guard but it didnt bother him, why else would he kiss you back?

It felt more like he has been waiting for this.

No words were needed. You wont throw this away nor put it aside.

This will be fixed now and forever.

___

@jdopes-recorder

@gyu-lvly

@peachy-flxwr

@hans-softest-hair-strand

@letterstolilah

@simpgurrl

#strakids #bang chan imagines #bangchan angst #stray kids #straykids imagines #straykids angst #chan skz #skz angst #stray kids jisung #stray kids minho #stray kids changbin #stray kids jeongin #straykids chan #straykids bangchan #chan x reader #straykids seungmin #straykids hyunjin #straykids felix #strakids one shot

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blueskyandsunshine2 · 6 months

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I'm rewatching Good Omens S1 and with the context of the events of S2, I'm becoming increasingly convinced that Gabriel has had a bit of a (100% platonic, brotherly) soft spot for Aziraphale for awhile now.

He's just such a pompous ass that it comes across really condescending. Like Gabe thinks he's the cool older brother and is subtly pushing his awkward little brother to be less weird so that he doesn't have to be embarrassed about him.

"Why do you consume *that*?" = "Come on man, stop putting weird things in your mouth, it's embarrassing"

Also, is Gabriel quite as much of an idiot as we think? Or is he trying to use his influence to subtly get Aziraphale out of trouble? Like, "Yeah, sure Michael, they can come in any size. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT" Or "Oh, he gave us his word as an angel. Alright then that clears everything up. Let's go folks, nothing to see here!"

Why the "shut up and die" then? Don't forget that Aziraphale's fate was sealed and Crowley-as-Aziraphale was playing up Azi being nice right beforehand ("It was lovely knowing you all") and Gabe is just like, "Shut tf up and stop being sweet before you make me feel guilty about this you idiot."

Also, does he have more damning evidence about Aziraphale/Crowley that he's been sitting on? I mean, it's become a rumor that A/C are together romantically beyond just the whole saving-the-world-together but... is a rumor that Azi understands this whole love thing enough to risk your whole existence on? To show up at their door naked and vulnerable in the hopes that they will take you in and help you? I bet he saw something once at some point in history that convinced him. And maybe even assumes Aziraphale also considers gabriel and Aziraphale to be buds, just because he sees it that way.

I'm just saying, Jimbriel's "I love you" to Aziraphale didn't come out of nowhere. There had to be something that drew Gabriel to Aziraphale, even before the memory wipe. He was just realizing again why he had liked Aziraphale so much.

#gomens #good omens #gabriel #aziraphale #love #jimbriel

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imagine-knowing-a-name · 1 year

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OKAY so random but I read “Omnia Vincit Amor” right and I was thinking you know how Natasha moved on married Wanda had a kid named her y/n yada yada yada you get the point “WHAT IF” reader never died but rather survived the fall but fell unconscious and was taken by someone like anyone who took care of her and all but she had lost her memories so she obviously didn’t know her life before u til one night racer woke up and EVERYTHING just came crashing together and she made it a mission to find Wanda and Nat also to show and tell nat that it wasn’t her fault she chose Wanda and that she would have done the same if it were her in that position I know this story was creat MONTHS ago but the crazy thought just popped into my mind when that story popped out on my search all of a sudden and I sat here thinking “what if”

omnia vincit amor (what if...reader survived)

Summary: what the anon said ^

Pairing: Wanda x Natasha (& platonic relationship with Y/N)

Word count: 2411

Warnings: Brain injuries (probably inaccurately represented bc I know nothing medical), a little bit of angst during recovery. It's a bit hurt/comfort but probably the happiest ending of this series.

A/N: This is literally the fastest I've ever written a fic, thank you so much for the ask

Part 1 Part 2

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Natasha had trained her whole life for moments like this: to make the right decision in an instant; never doubt it, never dwell on it, never get emotional about it. After all, she was raised for survival, and that was the only way through.

So why could she not control her tears now? The irritations pricked her eyes from the moment she saw the fear on your face, her vision blurred before your body could even hit the ground. You’d hidden it under a mask of acceptance, but she saw it. Your face was the only thing Natasha saw when she closed her eyes; the pain she’d seen and missed every time she’d ignored you for Wanda. She finally saw it, but by then, your face was expressionless, too late to apologise to.

Wanda had to pull her away from the edge, back to the quinjet to run from the failed mission. They couldn’t even see your face up close.

If they had, they would have seen the breaths you were still taking.

—————————————————

Your first memories were police interrogations. An officer yelled about what your organisation had done and the atrocities they had caused, until a doctor stepped in and warned the man of your state.

“You should be grateful they saved you,” the officer scorned. He was quieter now; the pain in your head subsided, though it didn’t fade completely.

According to the doctor, you came in with a severe traumatic brain injury, spending days in a coma they weren’t sure you would wake from. The amnesia was expected, as was the pain, but they believed you would recover eventually with time, medicine, and therapy.

Eventually, you had to be released from holding on medical grounds. Your complete memory loss meant you could offer nothing to the police; your uniform was all they had to tie you to the criminal organisation, and that didn’t even say what role you played in it, or if you had even been aware of their actions. For all anyone knew, you may have been just a janitor. All they did know was that someone had wiped the database of all traces of you; you were a ghost, with no clue of your own identity.

Now you were released into a hectic world, told to make your life anew.

—————————————————

Seven years later, that memory was not as distant as you would have liked. You still frequented hospitals and appointments in the hopes of returning your life’s memories, but to no avail.

There had been some breakthroughs, scraps of memories from long ago. You could picture a woman, her features were out of your grasp, but her laugh, and the sight of her shoulder-length red hair replayed in your mind. You held tightly to the memory, thinking of it over and over again, trying to add more to it. Was it a date? You had both been laughing, just the two of you, so perhaps. Had you been close to her? Something inside told you that you were, that you’d been special to each other, but you couldn’t place it, couldn’t even remember her face.

You worked at a small restaurant, and your coworkers had tried to set you up with friends and customers before, but in 7 years, you hadn’t been attracted to any of them, nor anyone else you encountered, and you couldn’t answer their questions as to why. But perhaps it was this – your brain subconsciously keeping itself for this woman.

The more you thought about it, the more frustrated you became. If you were so close, why had she not come to find you? You didn’t even know if she was real, or just a false memory your brain had conjured up to ease your constant search for something.

—————————————————

Your ‘road to recovery’ – outlined years ago by the doctors – featured several activities designed to memories in your mind. Trying different hobbies, foods, meditations; anything that might trigger thoughts of your past, or lift the fog of your mind. It clearly hadn’t been that effective – you wondered what you even did in the past – but it had become a routine that you enjoyed. It was how you found yourself at a new park one Saturday, close to where you sustained your injury. If you had worked in that building, there was a chance you lived nearby, and something in the park would look familiar to you.

Nothing sparked recognition in you, until a child ran past, as fast as their little toddler legs would carry them.

“Y/N! Come back here you!” a woman’s voice laughed.

You turned around before you even knew why. Whether it was the name itself, or just the way the woman said it, that made you act as if she had called for you.

But then you saw the red hair, and recognised the laugh that had plagued you ever since you found that one memory.

“Natasha?” The name had come from nowhere, but it felt right, it matched the woman… and she certainly matched your memory. There were more of them now, all playing in your brain all at once: bowling, movies, dinner dates, sleepovers; the amount you had done together was overwhelming, and her face finally formed in your imagery. You were the only unknown left in your brain, nothing was filling in, until-

“Y/N?”

That name again, but now it was directed at you. It fit. The name you chose 7 years ago was the only one you could remember having, but this one –Y/N– fit like no other name ever had.

The woman –Natasha– held the child in her arms now, and slowly approached, taking every step like a dog stalking its prey, fearing that each new step might send it running. You eyed the woman, then averted your attention to the bench beside you. You slowly took a seat, your head was spinning now with an overabundance of thoughts and names and skills rushing back, you had to hold your head up as Natasha sat quietly beside you, not disturbing the peace with further questions.

“Big Y/N,” the baby in her arms babbled. You looked up to see her smiling at the child, though a tear tracked down her face; her eyes were worried when they turned to meet yours.

“I think I know you,” you said at last.

“I think I know you too,” she replied.

“I wasn’t attracted to you.”

A smirk spread on her face, and her head tilted in amusement, “if you’re the person I know, you’re not attracted to anybody.”

“I’m not… or I haven’t been… I don’t know.”

Her eyes track over your face, her eyebrows slightly knotted. She looks concerned, and ready to ask questions. You’ve never been able to read someone so well. “You can ask questions, maybe it’ll help,” you sigh, “I just don’t know if I can answer any.”

“How bad is the memory loss?”

“I didn’t-”

“I pick up on things. It’s part of my trademark really.”

“...It’s bad. I lost it all 7 years ago and only today did it start to come back, just now. Even with my recent memory, I don’t remember all the things that I should.”

“But you recognise me now?”

“I… I think so. Natasha?” She nodded, prompting you to continue. “You and Wanda were dating, and I used to join you a lot.”

“That’s correct, you got me and Wanda to confess to each other actually.”

“I had your engagement ring in my room.”

“It’s on Wanda’s finger now.”

“How long did that take you?” you chuckled, eyes down at the ground. You could see Natasha smile wider out of the corner of your eye, a little bit of the old you coming back.

“A while,” she laughed, “I went and talked to your grave for moral support first, which…guess we’ve gotta get rid of that.”

Silence fell at the mention of your time apart; her thinking you were dead, while you couldn’t even remember being alive. Eventually, Natasha spoke up, “Can I- do you mind- ?” with her hand raised, you understood what she was asking, raising your own hand to meet hers. She sighed at the feeling, at the knowledge you were actually alive.

It was at that point that the child began to get restless, tugging at their mother’s hair to go home. “Alright, alright, love, we’ll head back soon,” she appeased, and turned to you, “Would you be ready to meet the others again? Or do you have a place of your own I can at least drop you off at?”

Now that you had memories of the others, you missed them, and grieved the fact you’d spent seven years without them. You wanted nothing more than to let them know you were okay, and reminisce, but you weren’t fully you, at least not yet. Seeing Natasha alone had almost been too much to handle, and she was one of the calmest teammates, understanding your social cues without too much verbalisation from you. Even just from your silence, she guessed your decision and understood it.

“Give me directions to your house. I’ll drive you.”

You tried to get dropped off a few blocks away at first, but Natasha had caught on, prompting directions to just outside the rundown apartment. Some of your windows were still boarded up, and the stairs outside were cracked into disrepair; you couldn’t even say the inside was much better, but when you had no documentation or proof you ever existed, there was little accommodation you could afford.

“Say hi to Wanda for me, please?”

“I’ll pass it on, maybe come see us when you’re up for it, or text me and we’ll come over. She’s going to want to see you before she believes me.”

“Thank you, Nat, I’ll let you know.”

—————————————————

The screen had been dark for hours, but still, you held the device before you, only now noting your own reflection.

Acting on impulse, you clicked your phone back on; the blank chat with Natasha opened once again, and this time, you began to type.

"Come over tomorrow?" you sent, "Wanda and baby are welcome too"

'sent' appeared below before you could change your mind and, in truth, you didn't want to. The pair had been your closest friends in the world until you'd gone 7 years without each other; they would have mourned for you. You could only imagine how they would be feeling now. You wanted to apologise for how the mission ended, for all the grief you brought them. You wanted to tell Natasha you didn't mind her choice, and thank Wanda for taking care of her in your absence - it wouldn't have been an easy effort.

Three dots appeared and you tossed your phone across the bed. You weren't ready to hear an answer just yet.

You felt no more prepared the next day when the doorbell rang. To see them again, purposefully, was one thing, but memories were still coming back. Now you could remember the compound, your current apartment was no comparison; you could only even afford the bare minimum of furnishing, much less all the decoration there used to be.

The fears fled your mind the second you opened the door, and Wanda rushed in to engulf you in a hug. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she looked you over, holding your face in her hands.

"I'm sorry," came your breathless greeting. Wanda steered you to the sofa and sat you down, Natasha following behind with the baby in her arms. "For how the mission went, and what you went through and-"

Natasha cut you off. "I thought I was coming here to apologise to you, not the other way around"

"I don't want you to apologise, this life was all I wanted for you, it was the choice I wanted you to make."

"What matters now is we made it back together," Wanda soothed. "I'm sure there'll be time for tears and apologies later, just not now. There's been enough of that. Where have you even been for seven years? I want to hear it all."

Hours passed with the three of you exchanging stories. You were introduced to their child officially, as their namesake, and learned what the other Avengers had done in your absence.

Natasha strapped the younger Y/N into the car first, leaving you and Wanda alone when it was time to say goodbye.

She listened to your thanks, then waved it off, stating you would have looked after Natasha just as well had she made the other choice. "You know, Natasha and I discussed it after you texted, and I understand if it's too much, but… living with you was half the reason we didn't move out before, and we have a spare room in our house. If you want… move in with us? It'll be just the same as old times; meals together, movie nights, days out… and the toddler is actually quieter than living with the rest of the Avengers team… somehow tidier too."

Wanda spoke with such earnestness, it left no room for self-doubt, and with the way Natasha smiled when she came back in and met your eye, you could tell she agreed. Your apartment was not a home, especially now that you remembered what was. Your home was with them. You said yes.

—————————————————

Natasha laughed as you jumped, your eyes glued to the screen. "You don't remember the jump scare?"

You flit your eyes to hers, then down to the ground. It was all she needed to see to shuffle closer, bumping her shoulder against yours. "That's okay, it gets me too sometimes."

"Not in the same way," you mumbled, "have we watched this movie before? before the accident?"

Natasha nodded; you saw the concern underneath.

"I don't remember it. Some things just aren't coming back to me, and other things that I keep forgetting."

"That's okay," Natasha smiled, she took your hands into hers, "you can't expect it to be better all at once."

"But what if it never is? If it never gets better? I don't think I'm ever going to be the same person that you and everyone else remembers."

"I don't mind if you're not that you. You don't have to be. All I want is to spend my time with who you are right now, because I lost seven years of it, and I never missed anything more."

#wandanat & reader #wandanat #wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff & reader #wanda maximoff & reader #natasha romanoff imagine #wanda maximoff imagine #platonic fic #marvel #mcu #aroace reader #aroace y/n

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taliaaurora · 3 months

Text

Forbidden Love (5) - Hi, baby. Did you miss me?

Pairing: Jason Pelham x Alison Jones

Summary: An unexpected visitor shows up at the firehouse, bringing some disturbed memories to one of the first responders.

Warning: mentions of child assault.

Words count: 2.3k

A/N: English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy this chapter! 💕

Want to join my tag list? Send me a message! 💌

Previous Chapter | Series Masterlist

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A knock on the door startled Severide as he was finishing his report from the last call. Glancing at the glass door, he saw Alie waving her hand as she flashed him a small smile.

“Hey.” He whispered, opening the door.

“Hey. Can I come in?” She kept her voice down, afraid she would wake up the team sleeping in the bunk room.

Nodding his head, Severide opened the door a little further so Alie could step inside his office, then closed it again. Seating back on his chair, he watched Ailie get comfortable in his bed.

“You okay?” He asked, cocking his head to the side, not sure what she wanted to talk about.

“Yeah. I wanted to make sure you are okay, actually.” She confessed, noticing a frown appearing in Severide’s face. “I’m not blind, Sev. I noticed your reaction when Sylvie came running inside the firehouse with another letter from Casey. What was that about?”

Biting the inside of his cheek, Severide looked outside the window, avoiding Alie’s big brown eyes, as the same thoughts consumed his mind, over and over again.

“Sev, please, talk to me.” Sitting closer to her friend, Alie’s lips curved slightly into a smirk. “Did you get upset cause Casey didn’t send you a letter too?” She playfully asked, but Severide didn’t laugh. As he turned his face to look at Alie, she was surprised to see tears in his eyes.

“Stella, she-...” He shook his head and bit his lip, struggling to put his feelings into words. “She doesn't reply to my texts or my calls. When she does, it’s always something short and simple, she doesn’t even want to talk to me. And I don’t know what to do.” He confessed, blinking away the tears, trying to look strong.

“I’m so sorry, Sev.” Alie whispered, gently squeezing his hand. “Maybe she’s just busy with the program. I’m sure everything will be just fine when she comes back-”

“That’s the thing.” He interrupted. “I don’t know if she’s coming back.” He sounded almost angry, but looking into his eyes Alie could see how sad, broken he was.

“What do you mean?”

Wiping his tears with the sleeve of his jacket, Severide took a deep breath. “Boden wanted Stella to be the new lieutenant on Truck 81, but she didn't reply to his calls either. I don’t think she wants to be a lieutenant anymore. I don’t think she wants to come back to 51, or to me.” He confessed with a shaky voice. Putting those words out in the open felt like a punch in his stomach, making him sick with just the thought of not being with Stella again.

“Hey, don’t say that.” Alie shook her head, wiping Severide’s fresh tears. “Kelly, she loves you! You’re just going through a tough time in your relationship, but I’m sure everything will be okay.”

“I’m not so sure anymore.” He whispered back.

-/-/-

“Jones?” Pelham called, entering the common room. Looking around, he saw her exiting Severide’s office. Making his way towards her, Pelham gently knocked on the bunk room door, not wanting to wake up the whole team. “Jones? There’s a woman on the apparatus floor wanting to talk to you. It sounded urgent.” He confessed, approaching the firefighter.

Confused, Alie frowned. Besides the fact that it was late, Alie wasn’t used to getting visitors at the firehouse - or anywhere, really. Thanking the lieutenant, Alie made her way to meet the mysterious woman outside the firehouse.

“Can I help you?” Alie asked, approaching the woman who had her back to Alie. As the woman turned around, Alie couldn’t believe her eyes. Taking a step back, she took a shaky breath as her head started to spin. She felt sick.

“Hi, baby.” The woman’s voice was soft as a sympathetic smile appeared on her face. She took a step closer, making Alie take a step back, involuntarily. She aged from the last time Alie saw her. She had more wrinkles than Alie could remember. She had lost a significant amount of weight, probably because of her drinking problems or the death of her husband - or both. Her features had changed. She looked small, fragile. If it wasn’t for those eyes that haunted Alie in her dreams, she wouldn’t have recognized her own mother.

Looking at her mom with side eyes, it took all the strength in her body to make Alie speak. “Wha-What are you doing here??”

“You didn’t reply to any of my texts, or my calls.” Slightly shrugging her shoulders, the woman flashed an apologetic smile. “I thought I could stop by to see you-”

“Well, you can’t. I told you to stay away from me.” Alie cut her off. “Now, please, go away and don’t come back.” She turned around to go back to the firehouse but was stopped by a hand grabbing her arm.

“Alison, please!” The woman begged, staring Alie in the eye. “You can’t avoid me forever. We’re family-”

“DON’T!” Alie shouted as she released her arm. “You don’t get to use that word!” Her chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “I don’t consider you family. Not anymore.”

Shaking her head, her mom could feel the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. “Alie, please, don’t say that. I’m your mother, I’ll always be your family!”

The lack of emotion was clear as Alie's steady voice came out just above a whisper. “You are DEAD to me.” As her lips lightly curved into a smirk, she took a step closer. “I hope Stephen is burning in hell right now.”

“Alison!” Her mom slapped her in the face, she couldn’t believe those words. “He was like a father to you!”

“HE DESTROYED ME!” Alie shouted, feeling her cheek burn. “I was just a little girl and he RUINED me!” Shaking her head, Alie quickly wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “And what did you do, huh? NOTHING! You let him do that to me. You chose your disgusting, rapist husband over your own daughter! You never believed me when I told you what he used to do to me!” Alie could feel her throat hurt. She didn’t care if someone could hear her yelling, she didn’t mind the tears running down her cheeks. All she felt was anger, pain, and she just wanted to let it all out. As she let out a long sigh, she looked down at her mother in disgust. “How could you? How can a mother let someone do that to her child? Her baby girl? I trusted him, I trusted you.” Letting out a sob, she ran her hands down her face. She took advantage of her mother's silence to let it all out of her chest. “For so long, every time I used to close my eyes, all I could see was his face. All I could smell was his cheap cologne and the mix of bourbon and cigar. He haunted me for so long. But not anymore!” Standing closer, just a few inches from her mom’s face, Alie screamed. “I WANT YOU TO ROT IN HELL! BOTH OF YOU!”

Her mom stood there in silence, her body shaking - from crying or from fear, no one could tell. Taking a step back, Alie sniffled, cleaning her eyes and nose with the sleeve of her jacket.

“I hate you.” Alison whispered with gritted teeth, looking down at the woman who brought her to the world. “Get out of here and don’t you dare to come back.”

Nodding her head in understanding, her mother turned around and left, crying all the way back to her car. Finally feeling like she could breathe again, Alie walked two steps before she collapsed on the floor. Letting out a low, desperate groan, she felt two arms hugging her body in a tight embrace.

“It’s okay. She’s gone.” Pelham’s voice was soft as he spoke in her ear, his hand running up and down her back. “You’re safe now, I promise.” He whispered, feeling her tears soaking the fabric of his shirt.

For the first time in years, Alie didn’t flinch when she felt a male hand touching her body. Instead, she believed in his words when he told her she was safe. And that's exactly how she felt. Her muscles relaxed under the warmth of Pelham’s embrace. With her head leaned against his chest, she sobbed like a little girl, scared of the monster under her bed. The monster is gone now, but he will always be present in her memories.

Pelham knew Alie was going through something. He just never expected to be this. He didn’t mean to hear the whole conversation, but he did hear Alie’s screams and picked up some pieces. He felt disgusted. He couldn’t imagine what was going through Alie’s mind in this moment, but he knew she needed someone. Even if this someone was a man she barely knew.

Once her breaths were even and she had stopped crying, Alie lifted her head from Pelham’s chest. As their eyes met, her cheeks blushed with embarrassment and she quickly pulled away from him. He shouldn’t have seen her like this. Broken. Fragile.

“I-I should go.” Alie quickly mumbled, standing up. Not looking back, she ran to the bathroom, locking the door right behind her as she muffled her soft cries with the back of her hand.

-/-/-

"You know," Gallo took a seat on the common room table to eat his cereal, then pointed at Pelham with his spoon. "Once Kidd comes back, are you still going to be our lieutenant?"

"I don't know-"

"No, he's not." Severide interrupted, making his way to the coffee pot.

Gallo already regretted making that question, as he felt the tension in the room rising. Shaking his head, Ritter cursed under his breath, whispering a sarcastic 'good job, buddy' as he sent Gallo a thumbs up.

Staring at Severide's back, Pelham licked his lips and sighed. "Chief Boden reached out for her, asking if she wanted to be the new lieutenant, but she didn't answer. She hasn't shown any interest."

"That doesn't mean you get the job." The squad lieutenant replied before making his way to his office.

"Really, Gallo!? What is wrong with you?" Violet whispered, slapping Gallo in the arm.

Playing with the food on his plate, Pelham couldn't help but think about Gallo's question. What was gonna happen to him once Kidd comes back wasn't really a mystery. Pelham was just an interim lieutenant. If Kidd wanted the position, Boden would give it to her right away. Pelham knew that, and he understood why. Kidd had been working at this firehouse for years now, and she was loved by everyone on the team. Pelham didn't stand a chance.

"Hey, Jones!" Mouch greeted her with a big smile as she entered the firehouse.

Hearing that name, Pelham looked up with hopeful eyes and a shy smile, seeing the person who made his days better in this firehouse. However, he knew she's been avoiding him since last night.

Flashing Mouch a weak smile, Alie stopped dead in her tracks once she locked eyes with the lieutenant sitting at the table. Quickly turning around, she rushed to the locker room, not seeing how fast Pelham's smile faded away.

Closing her locker once she grabbed what she needed, Alie stood face to face with the lieutenant, who was leaning against the lockers.

“You don’t have to avoid me, Jones.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’m not avoiding you.” She quickly replied, walking past him.

“Then why are you running away from me?” Pelham followed her to the bunk room, walking right behind her. “Is this about what happened the other night?” He asked with a sigh.

Alie quickly turned around. “Yes, okay? You had no right to hear that conversation!”

“You were screaming!" His voice rose but his features softened when he saw Alie flinch. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I wasn’t eavesdropping.” He spoke just above a whisper.

“But you listened to a conversation that didn’t concern you.” The hurt and disappointment were clear in her voice. “Now, please, stop looking at me with those pity eyes. I don’t need your pity, Pelham.”

“So now, what?" He frowned. "I can’t be concerned about you? I can’t make sure my friend is okay? Oh, no, I’m sorry. I forgot we’re not friends.” Pelham let his arms dramatically fall to his sides as a long sigh passed through his lips. “Jesus, Jones. I keep trying to get close to you, only to be pushed away every goddamn time!” Shaking his head, Pelham walked past Alie and left the room.

Swallowing the lump on her throat, Alie bit the inside of her cheek as Pelham's words replayed in her head. She knew he was right, she really was pushing him away. But that's what she did to every man that got too close to her. She kept her tough posture but…on the inside she was softly pleading for him to come back, to hold her one more time and tell her everything would be okay.

-/–/-

“What happened this time?” Brett asked, serving herself a cup of coffee, as Alie stormed into the room.

“Pelham happened.” Alie mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned on the counter, next to her friend.

“Uhh, I’ve seen this before.” A smirk appeared on Brett’s face as she stirred her coffee. “You two will end up sleeping together.” She took a sip from her coffee and saw the way Alie almost gagged.

“You gotta be kidding me, right? There’s nothing going on between me and Pelham. It was just a kiss, which I already regret.” Alie confessed with a scoff. “To be honest, I think we do hate each other.”

“Uh-hum, sure.” Brett nodded her head, sipping her coffee. “I’ll pretend I believe that.”

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demonicbaby666 · 9 months

Text

It’s Always Been You

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Emma Swan x Regina Mills

Genre: Smut, fluff and a bit of angst (not too much though)

Words: 4.9k+

Summary: Regina and Emma have had an interesting relationship over the past few years, one that they don’t often talk about and have left only to memories. But before her wedding, Emma’s thoughts become too loud, and the past makes an appearance.

A/n: Not beta read so I apologise if there are any mistakes! There was going to be one additional flashback that I lacked the motivation for… but I’m interested to know if anyone will be able to figure out where ;)

Emma sits in front of the vanity, eyes raking over her barely furnished room from behind her in the mirror. It feels empty, hollow.

Her whole life, she has dreamt of having her own home and a family, both of which she’s acquired. So for her life, she can’t understand why it doesn’t feel right. Ever since she could remember, she’d run away at the first of danger; often finding it around every corner meant she’d never had a place to call her own. It makes sense that the feeling of finally settling down should be comforting. Instead, it feels suffocating, foreign in the worst of ways, and far too final.

Flickering her eyes back to her reflection, she looks at her freshly applied makeup; it’s more than she regularly wears or has ever worn. But the occasion calls for it. After all, it is her wedding day, and Ruby insisted on ‘dolling her up.’ Though when Emma sees herself, dare she say it, it may have been too much ‘dolling up.’

“What do you think?” The brunette asks, admiring her work.

“Ummm, well, it’s,” Emma stammers over her words, thinking how best to break the news to Ruby, “It’s-”

“Oh dear god,” Regina screeches from the doorway. Both younger women turn their heads, watching Regina move toward where they are sitting. She studies Emma’s face, making no effort to hide her grimace, “What have you done to her? She looks like she’s about to perform at a drag show, not walk down the aisle.”

Emma tries not to cringe at the older woman’s harsh tone, failing miserably when she sees Ruby roll her eyes and walk off. Of course, she won’t admit it, but she’s grateful for the fact she doesn’t have to be one to tell Ruby she’d put a little too much of her own spin on the bridal look.

“May I?” Regina gestures to the stool next to Emma.

“Sure. Could you pass me the wipes? They should be in the first draw.” Emma takes a deep breath, hoping to alleviate some of her nerves on the exhale.

Reaching out, Regina opens the drawer and pulls out the wipes, ready to hand them over until she sees the shaky hand that is held out to receive them. She carefully places the wipes on the vanity instead, earning a confused look from Emma.

“Allow me?” Regina offers, taking a wipe out and bringing it to the thick layer of foundation lying over Emma’s cheek.

Instantly the younger woman relaxes, closing her eyes and relishing the feel of cold against her flushed face. It’s an added bonus that now and then, Regina’s soft fingers are brushing against her skin, and Emma lets herself lean into them. She allows herself to get lost in distant memories.

Regina had gone below deck. She didn’t want anyone to see her in her current state, which - put nicely - was a complete wreck. She’d just lost the one person she’d promised herself she’d always protect, Henry.

“We’re going to get him back,” Emma said, walking in, trying to reassure the nervously fidgeting brunette.

Regina quickly looked up to see Emma walking towards her on the bed. She fixed her posture and cloaked her worries behind her trusty emotionless mask, “I know we are.” she snapped.

“Do you ever let anyone see the other side of you?” Emma asked as she sat down next to Regina, ignoring the look she received in response.

“Care to elaborate on what you mean by ‘other side,’ Miss Swan?”

Emma raised her hands, sensing from Regina’s death glare she was hitting a nerve, “What I mean is, the softer side, the vulnerable side of you that you spent years trying to bury. Others might buy the stone-cold act, but you can’t fool me.”

“And why do you think you know me so well, Miss Swan?” Regina asked, burying her newfound vulnerability behind a look of disgust.

“Stop with the Miss Swan.”

“Or what, Miss S-”

Frustration got the best of her, and in the blink of an eye, Emma had Regina pinned down on the bed, pushing the older woman’s wrists into the mattress on either side of her head. She stayed still for a few seconds, not entirely understanding what had come over her.

In the time spent staring, Emma studied Regina’s features. The little crease that formed between her eyebrows, that were now furrowed, and her chestnut eyes - which held an abundance of unspoken secrets and fears - that were wide open. Emma swore she saw a tinge of curiosity within them alongside the apparent shock. Regina’s lips were parted ever so slightly as she took in rushed but tiny breaths, and before Emma even thought she could pull away, those very lips trapped her in a trance-like state.

Realising kissing the human version of a brick wall may be unappealing, Emma moved her lips in rhythm with Regina’s, and what started as obligatory reciprocation turned into voluntary instigation. Emma’s hands roamed Regina’s arms, her nails clawing ever so slightly into supple skin in retaliation to Regina capturing her bottom lip between her teeth.

Neither knew who broke away first, too breathless to contemplate or care. They stared at one another, mouths agape as the realisation of what they’d just done dawned on them. Emma thought for sure she’d fucked up. There was no way they could make amends after this or even look one another in the eye. Then Regina did something unexpected. She fluttered her eyes shut, wrapped her arms around Emma’s neck, and anchored her back down.

Emma let it happen. She didn’t know why. In fact, she didn’t even want to know why. All she knew and felt were soft plum lips, and she willingly yielded to their power. The kiss quickly grew more and more fierce. With Regina’s hands around her neck, pulling her closer and closer, Emma finally let go. She pressed her body against Regina’s, relishing in the small moan from the brunette as their clothed breasts pressed against one another.

Regina knew she should stop. She knew what they were doing was wrong and inappropriate. Emma’s whole family was right above them, for god's sake. But it was hopeless. Her hands had a mind of their own, latching onto Emma’s soft curls and accepting her eager tongue into her mouth. Once the exploration took place, hearing the blonde moan into her mouth as she tasted her for the first time, all hopes of turning back were crushed.

From that moment on, both women were overtaken by desire. Their hands were all over each other. Emma’s knee nestled between Regina’s legs, which Regina instantly appreciated, grinding against it to relieve herself of the growing tension. It wasn’t enough. She needed more. And something told her Emma wouldn’t have a problem delivering.

Emma’s lips travelled down Regina’s jawline before reaching her neck and sucking over her pulse point, smiling at the small moan Regina let out. She ran her tongue over the bruised patch of skin while her hand snaked under the brunette's shirt, cupping and kneading her breasts.

Unbuttoning the silk shirt, Emma trailed a path of kisses further down Regina’s body, down to her black bra. Her fingers danced over the newly exposed skin, imprinting the feel of the toned flesh into her mind, not knowing if this would not only be the first but also the last time she’d have the pleasure.

They were limited on time, which meant there wasn’t much wriggle room for gracefully undressing each other, “Can you… ummm…” Emma sat up and looked down at Regina’s trousers as she began fiddling with her own.

Regina smirked and waved her hand. The sudden shiver that ran down Emma’s spine alerted her to the missing jeans she’d previously been trying to take off. When she looked down, she noticed Regina's clothes were no longer present, along with her own.

Emma went straight to work. She lowered herself back down, laying atop Regina and kissing her once more. Her tongue quickly slipped into the parted, plump lips, and she explored the hot, wet cavern until she had to come back up for air. Emma was privy to Regina’s slick arousal on her thigh, and the moment her lips made contact with the older woman’s neck, she felt her wetness glide over the expanse of her thigh.

At this point, the brunette was a mess, grinding down helplessly on Emma’s thigh, searching for friction, holding blonde locks tight as Emma moved southwards to her breasts. She let out a whimper when Emma finally took a pert nipple into her mouth, sucking and nibbling mercilessly. She used her other hand to cup the neglected breast, squeezing it in pulses before pinching Regina’s nipple between her fingers.

Emma didn’t know when she stopped thinking, let herself become overtaken by the thralls of passion, or when all thoughts of what she was doing became unimportant. But then again, she didn’t seem to care, not when there was a pair of perfectly toned legs wrapped around her head, and soft mewls came from above her. So, she fell back into a rhythm, rejecting the rigidity that tried to coax her body into feeling guilty, and she re-focussed her energies on pleasing the goddess who was letting her body be worshipped.

Before long, Regina’s climax was cresting. Quieted moans had grown into unrelenting cries of pleasure, and her sorry attempts at silencing them with her hand were woefully unsuccessful. Emma didn’t mind. She’d come to realise they may be her new favourite sound, a song she’d replay in her mind night after night alone in her room, where no one could judge her and where no one could see how her body reacted to the sweet melody of moans accompanied by soft waves crashing outside, the taste of the salted sea and Regina still dancing on her tongue months later.

Her tongue moved more ferociously, and instantly she saw Regina topple over the edge. Her chest rose towards the water-stained ceiling, the grip on her hair tightened almost painfully, and the firm legs around her head trembled with each stroke of her tongue over the brunette’s spent clit. After a few more seconds, Regina shimmied away, tugging lightly on Emma’s blonde locks.

“Stop.” She shakily breathed out.

Emma didn’t want to. She’d just discovered her true purpose in life, and she swore if she were denied the right to pry those sounds from Regina one more time in the next few minutes, she’d go crazy.

She took the risk and pulled away, crawling back up Regina’s body with speed and determination. Emma brought her lips back down to Regina’s, smiling as the brunette was temporarily distracted by the taste of herself on Emma. And that’s when she struck. She quickly slid two fingers into the older woman’s sex, coming back to life when she heard familiar sounds spill from Regina.

“Oh god,” she groaned, “Yes, Emma, like that.”

Emma suddenly understood what it felt like to be an addict, to be painfully aware that no matter how much of something you got, it would never be enough. She also knew that she’d take what she was given and, right now, happily accepted that she was given the opportunity to be greedy.

To graciously thank Regina, she thrust her fingers into the brunette's tight walls faster, curling them each time to hit the particular spot previous lovers neglected. Chants of yes’s, followed by obscenities Emma had never thought she'd hear from Regina, gave the younger woman some idea that she was on the right track to giving Regina her second orgasm.

When Regina brought her hands to Emma’s back, scratching the surface of her porcelain skin with ten scarlet lines, Emma lost it. Her fingers moved with vigour and one single purpose. Her lips ravished Regina’s neck with reckless abandon, leaving in their wake angry plum blotches. She didn’t care. She wanted one thing. They both wanted one thing.

And that’s when Regina’s vision went black, and the world around her faded. The only thing she knew, the only thing she wanted to know, was Emma’s lips on her, Emma’s hands on her, Emma’s sweaty skin on her.

They never brought up what happened that day. Not when Regina caught the looks between Emma and Hook, not when they found Henry, not when for a few seconds, it seemed like just the three of them against the world, and not when they returned to Storybrooke and Regina felt the loneliness creep back up and return to her.

Emma expects the absence of chatter to allow the voices in her head to intensify and engulf her once more, yet, here with Regina, the silence is comfortable and easy to enjoy. It’s the calm she has been looking for. That’s until her mother enters the room sometime later, puffy-eyed from the last few hours spent crying.

“I saw Ruby leave. Everything okay?”

By this point, Emma’s makeup is finished. It’s elegant and simple. Her cheekbones are accentuated, the green of her eyes shining in contrast to the red lipstick that paints her smile as she looks in the mirror (much happier and calmer than the last time she gazed into it).

“Emma…” Snow’s bottom lip wobbles as a fresh set of tears glint in her eyes, “You look beautiful.”

“Don’t start. You’ll set her off too.” Regina half-jokingly says to the brunette.

“I can’t help it.” Snow defends, “You’ll understand when Henry gets married or Emma if you have a daughter of your own, you’ll be crying just as much as I have been.”

Regina doesn’t even need to turn back to Emma to feel her tense at the mention of children. The sanctity has been broken, all thoughts return, and Emma is thrown head-first into a full-blown panic attack. Her breathing becomes unsteady, and tears well in her eyes. Her eyes are helplessly darting around the empty room, trying to find something, anything, to anchor her back to reality. It’s useless. She knows it as her hands start to tremor, and her knee begins bouncing up and down.

She looks to the one person she knows she can rely on, “Regina, get me out of here.”

Regina snaps her head back to Emma, “What?”

“Please.” She begs.

Looking into her watery eyes, Regina’s heart drops to her stomach. There is so much fear and heartache dancing around in Emma’s pleading eyes; all she wants to do is take the blonde into her arms, soothe her, and battle her demons for her. So she does the only thing she can. She poofs herself and Emma to the one place she always finds solace, her vault.

Purple smoke engulfs them, leaving Snow sitting alone on the bed, staring in disbelief at the two empty seats.

“Thank you,” Emma sits on a nearby trunk.

“Are you okay?” Regina asks, shifting her weight from foot to foot, not knowing whether it would be best to embrace Emma - as much as she wants to.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I just needed to get away, have a few moments to breathe alone before,” she swallows the lump in her throat, “before the wedding.”

Alone. Regina kicks herself. Emma had asked to get her out of the house, not to keep her company, “I can go.” She says quickly, turning to leave.

Fingers curl around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks and guiding her to turn back around.

“No, stay. Please.”

Looking down, Regina reunites with pleading green orbs, and just as before, she folds. In the low sombre light scattered candles provide, Emma seems so small, young, and vulnerable, and Regina can’t, no, she won’t leave her. If someone held a knife to her throat, she’d have sooner torn their heart clean from their chest before abandoning Emma.

Without knowing what she’s doing, Regina surges forward, crashing her body against Emma’s, pulling her into an unexpected embrace. Greeted pleasantly by slender arms wrapping around her neck, holding her close and in place, she breathes out in relief.

Silence falls over the vault. Light breathing comes from both women being the only sound. Regina traces small circles over Emma’s back, lulling her, feeling the blonde’s chest rise and fall against hers.

She slowly lowers herself onto the trunk, trying to avoid breaking the hug, though it’s unlikely to happen with Emma’s unyielding grip on her. Neither wants to let go; it would seem. It was under different circumstances they’d last shared such close contact. Pulling away means parting with memories - soft moans, sweat-clad bodies, a kind of intimacy they’d found with one another and no one else - that swirl around their conjoined bodies.

“I’ll stay. I promise.” Regina whispers.

And Emma believes her.

“My superpower may not be perfect, but with you, Regina, I can always tell when you’re lying.” Emma triumphantly stated.

Maybe it was the slight smile the younger woman offered or the unmissable adoration in her tone, but Regina couldn’t be annoyed. If it were anyone else stating, quite proudly, she’d lost the power to deceive them, she probably would not be smiling like an idiot in love. That was unimportant, though. And why was that? Because Emma was staring at her, and she was staring at Emma, and they both had that look in their eyes, which meant one thing and one thing alone.

“Even though you know I can’t live without him?”

“There you go, telling the truth again.”

“I missed both of you.” Regina spilt out, caught up in the moment.

Emma smiled, “Another truth.”

The brunette tried not to let her smile falter. Emma didn’t remember her in New York, so how could she miss her?

But then the blonde was up on her feet, sauntering over to her with a gentle yet playful smile on her lips, and her eyes softened, “I missed you too.”

There was no hiding the beam that fell over Regina’s face. Her smile shone brighter, and if she hadn’t turned away, Emma would have caught the faint blush emerging on her cheeks. Gentle fingers under her chin guided her back, and who was she to deny them? Watching Emma lick her lips, she no longer cared how noticeable her flushed cheeks were.

When the younger woman looked down at Regina, her stomach flipped. How the town still managed to think her capable of evil completely bewildered her, she knew Regina would never outwardly admit it, but she saw how it affected her. It only made what she did next much more effortless, telling herself it was their way of comforting each other.

Emma leaned down and kissed her, slowly at first. She kept her caresses light and her lips languid. When Regina wrapped her arms around Emma’s neck, she moved her hands down Regina’s body and cupped her ass, guiding her thighs closer to her waist.

With one content hum from Regina and a smile on her lips, Emma pulled Regina so she was sitting on the edge of her desk. She moved her hands under her dress and traced small circles over bare olive skin, working higher and higher up her thighs.

Regina shivered but didn’t dare pull away. The sigh she let out had little to no bite to it when her body was slowly responding the way it always did when Emma was this close. Her pulse was only getting faster in tandem with the speed and intensity of the kiss. Emma wanted one thing, and it was all too clear to Regina what that was.

By this time, Regina’s dress has practically ridden up to her hips, giving Emma plenty of room. She ran her tongue over Regina’s bottom lip, then sucked it into her mouth as one hand moved to hold the brunette's waist, and the other slid her wet panties to the side.

She used her fingers to part Regina’s delicate folds, dipping them temporarily into her entrance to gather some of the pooling arousal and distribute it over her twitching clit.

“Emma.” Regina breathed softly, and Emma would never tire of hearing her name tumble out of her mouth like that.

Svelte fingers kept working in tight circles until Regina’s hands gripped Emma’s shoulders. She lost all control over her body and mind, whining and whimpering as her ex-nemesis continued to carry her closer and closer over the edge.

Her breath was coming out ragged, and she couldn’t even think, so instead she focused Emma kissing and sucking on her neck and how the blonde was increasing the speed of her movements.

“Emma,” there it was again. This time more desperate, and Emma felt her underwear get further soaked by her own rising desire.

“I know.” Emma hushed.

That afternoon was about creating a potion to remember, but first, they helped each other forget. Forget the son that had forgotten them, forget the man that had kissed and brought them back to Storybrooke, forget the past and present that onslaught havoc on their every waking, every breathing, every godforsaken minute of their existences.

They forgot together.

It’s with great disdain, towards herself, Regina pulls back, feeling herself getting mixed up in what had already come to pass. “Want to talk about it?” She offers, placing her hands in her lap and fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of her dress.

“Not sober.” Emma lightheartedly chuckles, “You’ve got to have something in here.”

“Seriously, Emma. It’s one of the most important days of your life, and you want to get drunk.”

Despite the teasing, Regina stands up, walking over to where she keeps a bottle of liquor. She pours a generous helping into two glasses - she, too, would benefit from some of the stuff - then returns to her makeshift seat and unknowingly hands Emma the liquid courage she needs for what she is about to ask.

Taking what could be considered an overindulgent gulp, Emma shivers as the alcohol burns down her throat, settling when the liquid reaches and warms her stomach.

“Regina, what happened?” She speaks so softly that the question would have gone unnoticed had it not been for the fact Regina is already on high alert.

“What do you mean?” In truth, she knows what Emma’s alluding to, but if there is a slim chance she’s wrong or can avoid the conversation as a whole, she’ll take it.

“Between us,” Emma replies, watching the brunette closely, noticing how she suddenly becomes stiff and unnerved, “I thought we had something.”

The sadness in Emma’s voice throws Regina. Reminding herself that it is, in fact, Emma’s wedding day and bringing up this topic of conversation probably won’t have a terrific outcome, Regina makes another effort to dismiss the question, “Emma, do you want to do this now?”

Where a slight pout is forming on Emma’s face, a scowl takes its place, “Yes, I do.”

“It was a silly mistake that we kept up for far too long. Robin and Hook came along, and we ended it. That’s all there is to it, Emma. I thought we agreed on that?”

“Really, Regina? What we did, what we had. You know it wasn’t just a silly mistake.”

Though it pains Regina, she knows she needs this conversation to end, and for that to happen, she needs to stand her ground, “Emma, it was purely physical. We both knew that.”

“It was never just physical, and you know that. The first day I saw you, everything shifted, not just because of the curse and Henry but because I felt this pull. It was intoxicating. Feuding with you was exhausting yet addictive; I woke up waiting and anticipating your next move every morning. You were all I thought about. God, Regina, that day you came charging at me in your backyard, do you remember?”

“When you mutilated my beloved apple tree? Yes, I remember it quite vividly, Miss Swan.”

“Don’t Miss Swan me,” Emma sasses, but when she turns, she sees the sides of Regina’s lips twitch, a sign she’s indeed used the name not as an insult or a warning but as a way to lighten the mood, and maybe, just maybe, as a term of endearment. It’s refreshing. The name that was once used to instil the fear of god into her now makes her smile and reminisce over a time so different from the one she is now living. A small smile of her own comes to light, and she happily lets it as she continues, “I didn't know whether you were going to kill me or kiss me. I miss that feeling, and I don’t think I’d ever felt more alive than when I was with you.” she pauses, “Then when I’m with you.”

“It wouldn’t have worked out, Emma.” Regina defeatedly sighs.

“How can you say that? We never tried.”

“Because what we started, it was an outlet. It wasn’t real. We found that with other people.”

“Robin isn’t here anymore.” Emma is walking on eggshells here, and she knows it the moment Robin's name leaves her mouth. In fairness, it isn’t the best thing to bring up. That doesn’t matter, though, because it’s still the truth.

“But Hook is. You’ll meet him at the end of an aisle in an hour and start a life together.”

“I don’t want him.” Emma hurriedly spills out, “It’s always been you.”

Now that is one hell of a comeback that neither expects. The words fall out without a second thought, leaving them both speechless for ten seconds.

They sit staring for what seems to be an eternity, letting the confession dangle in the silence until Emma takes it upon herself to shuffle closer to Regina, never breaking eye contact.

“Emma, we can’t do this,” Regina whispers, helplessly trying to hold herself back from pulling Emma against her. It’s all she wants, and she’d be a fool to try and deny it.

Alluring is how Regina would describe Emma’s eyes, the shade of absinthe, and in truth, they, too, were intoxicating, flooding her bloodstream with a sudden disregard for caution and a yearning to be bold, to be reckless, to give in to desire.

“Tell me you didn’t feel anything for me, and I'll stop.” There are only a few inches between the two, and Regina’s mind is too occupied with Emma’s lips and how her hot breath is hitting her lips, and Emma’s lips, and Emma’s lips and Emma’s lips. She can’t answer even if she consciously tries to, which she’s given up on doing.

“You can’t,” Emma mutters, lips ghosting over Regina’s, “because you felt it too.”

Their lips meld together as they always have. Everything happens so quickly. One second there’s space between them, and then it is gone. The only thing Regina knows is there’s a pair of hands gripping her waist for dear life.

Her heart is saying yes and telling her to enjoy what could be their last kiss, but her mind is indifferent. In essence, she doesn’t know what to do.

Logic prevails, as it does most of the time, forcing her to pull away preemptively. “Emma, stop. We’re just going to end up hurting each other.” needing to put space between herself and the blonde who holds so much power over her, Regina stands up and walks over to her mirror, “Everyone I’ve ever been with, they’re gone. It’s like a curse befalls anyone I love. I can’t lose you. Hook makes you happy. That has to be enough.”

How the brunette manages to exert so much willpower, Emma doesn’t know. Then again, impulse control has never really been her thing, which is why she’s struggling with how not to grab Regina and reconnect their lips. She settles for walking over and placing a hand on Regina’s hip.

“Regina, look at me.” She guides Regina towards her. When their eyes meet, she isn’t oblivious to the welling of tears that have gathered, and it pains her to think she’s responsible, “Everyone I’ve ever been with, Graham, Neal, heck Walsh, they’re gone. I’m scared, I was scared. Regina, I care about you. Most of the time, I feel like you’re the only person who gets me, who truly understands me.”

“Emma,” she knows where this is leading, and there’s no coming back once there, “don’t.”

“I love you. I always have.”

Regina could burst out into tears at the certainty in Emma’s voice, how smoothly the words leave her, and at that moment, she falls harder than she’s ever thought possible.

“I love you too.”

When the crack in her throat and the stinging behind her eyes give way to a stream of tears, Emma moves forward, eclipsing the minimal space between two desperate pairs of lips. Emma’s hands fall to the small of Regina’s waist, pulling her impossibly closer to her, while Regina wraps her hands around Emma’s neck. The moment she feels Regina’s lips again sparks burst to life all over her body, sending her into overdrive. She’s drunk. Not on the unfinished liquor sitting forgotten to the side, but on the endorphins that spring to life at finding out the feelings she thought were unrequited are anything but.

“Do you want to do this?” Emma mumbles against Regina’s lips.

Regina lightly kisses Emma before gently pulling away, “This?”

Fearing what she’s asking would be too loud, Emma whispers, “Us?”

“I can’t lose you,” Regina cups the blonde’s face with both hands and runs her fingers over the soft, delicate skin, prompting Emma to hold her tighter.

“Then keep me close, and I promise you, you never will.”

“Okay.” And she seals that promise with a kiss.

#swanqueen #Emma swan #Regina mills #once upon a time #OUAT #swanqueen fanfiction

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justkending · 1 year

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Finding Memories. Chapter 22.

Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader

Word Count: 2800+

TW: Torture, cussing, gore, PTSD, triggers.

A/N: I hope this came out right as I was slightly intoxicated while writing it😂 Hence why this chapter has a few more jokes in it from the normal chapter, but I felt it was fitting since we’ve been so serious the last few chapters. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Your comments help me grow in writing :) xoxoxo

Chapter 22:

“I need to talk to Gabriel.”

All heads turned back toward the entrance of the room they were in and saw Y/N marching in. Her demeanor was a 180 turn from when she had left.

“You’ve said that,” Tony squinted an eye at her. “What happened?” His question was pointed to Wanda who was following in behind Y/N. He could tell something was up and he wanted in on what it was.

She didn’t answer but instead pointed at Y/N who could explain for herself.

“To keep what we still can simple, my memories have been coming back piece by piece,” she sighed, placing both hands on the side of the table she had left from earlier.

“They have?” Bucky had a look of concern on his face but it quickly changed to anger when he saw the guilty look Nat and Wanda shared. “You two knew…”

“Not our secret to be told,” Nat shrugged instantly wiping the guilt off her expression though she did feel it.

“Our job is to keep her protected,” Bucky hissed. The comment came only through his clenched teeth as he tried to stay level-headed, but was struggling.

“She’s in one piece,” Tony waved off. “What do you know, Y/N?” His mission was on one thing and he knew Bucky’s feelings were getting in the way.

Though he did agree they were supposed to work together to keep her protected, he also knew that no real harm would ever come to her. Especially if Wanda and Nat were by her side.

“That’s not the point,” Bucky continued to talk through his clenched jaw.

“Point or not, your damsel in distress seems a little bit in distress right now. How about we focus on that issue first?” Tony snarked back.

Bucky took a step toward Stark, but Y/N grabbed his shoulder pulling him back.

“We don’t have time. The people we are working against are much more of a problem right now.” She looked him deeply in the eyes. “And they have a reputation for being quite relentless when they want something.”

Bucky’s demeanor changed seeing the fear of her past in her eyes. They showed all he needed to know that her next move was more important, and for some reason, he could feel the urgency too. But not like he was feeling it himself, but as if she was passing the feeling onto him through her touch alone.

“How did you do that?” he looked down at her hand, knowing that it was giving off the transfer of energy.

Her eyes showed grief for something she had no time to actually grieve.

“I remembered some things.”

Those things were more than just power related.

And this time she didn’t have to send the emotion for him to feel it himself.

“If I know how to read a room, and I do,” Tony started.

“You don’t,” Wanda mumbled and Nat agreed with a head nod.

“You seem to be on a time crunch, yet we still haven’t gotten to the point of all this,” Tony looked at them both with wide eyes and hands out in waiting.

Y/N pulled her hand back to herself and turned to the group.

“Gabriel is brainwashed. He is not like that. Whatever they did to him, it wasn’t by choice. If I can break him out of that chemical fog he’s under, I can maybe get some information off of him. It could tell us what the real purpose of his being here is. If they infiltrated some of the world's most elite superheroes and good guys that can take down countries without hesitation, why do they so badly want to take me, an amnesia-ridden nobody, back?”

“We’ve already come to terms that they want your powers. Gabriel would probably say the same thing,” Tony said.

“Do you want to know their plan, or do you want to just settle for, ‘we came to terms with’. Cause last I checked, they’re sending bigger guns in each time.” Her sass was clear, but she kept a challenging face with it, making it more intimidating than sarcastic.

Bucky was arguing in his head that he wouldn’t label her as an amnesia-ridden nobody, especially after that comment.

He was happy to see the side of her that he was scared of pointed toward someone else. And when it’s Tony Stark, that’s just a bonus.

Everyone turned to Tony and instead of a sneer back, his lips turned into a giant grin.

“I like this version of you much more,” he crossed his arms before pointing a finger at her. “I can get behind working with her,” he threw a thumb at her when he looked at Nat, who of course rolled her eyes.

“Do you think Gabriel would know that kind of information?” Wanda asked. “Who’s to say if he was given any knowledge of their plans? The girls who came for you first were told nothing of who you were besides a target. They didn’t even know your background much.”

“Gabriel will. He knows the ins and outs of that place more than me.” She hesitated before saying the next part. “He was there before I was…”

The room was silent and they could tell she was saddened by the thought of him going through something that long.

“If you need to talk to him, we should go now,” Tony broke the silence and moved to grab a few things before heading to the door.

“Yeah, great reading the room,” Nat mumbled and Wanda elbowed her as she walked by. “Ow.”

_____________________________________

Down in the basement where the inmate was being held, they were unlocking the door and going through protocol before opening it when Wanda walked to her side.

“You sure about this? I know it was a lot going in before…”

“It’s different now.”

“It’s been less than 5 hours.”

“Yeah, well, 5 hours ago I didn’t have the memories I have now,” she shrugged taking a breath and straightening her posture some.

“Another reason I’m worried about this,” Wanda raised an eyebrow watching her. “This is a lot in a little amount of time to process all this. Take it from someone who’s worked under emotional distress; it’s best to walk away from it and come back when you’re ready.”

“We don’t have time, Wanda,” she sighed, dropping her shoulders in defeat and turning to her. “I would love all the time in the world to actually sit down and process my life from what I knew to what’s become home in the last 2 weeks, but we don’t have that time. We weren’t fortunate enough to have it.” A sad smile graced her lips as she showed she was coming to accept what her fate was. “And I could stop, but my brain would never shut up if I didn’t do something knowing more innocent people would get hurt. And because of that, I can’t. I can’t stop.”

Wanda understood completely and though she didn’t even need the speech in order to be convinced, she was happy to hear it.

“You’re a stubborn ass, but a good-hearted one, that’s for sure,” she smiled. “Need my help?”

Y/N smiled back at her. She still was getting used to people actually caring for her and each time she was reminded that it was a norm around here, she became a little lighter inside.

“I think I actually got this one,” she said as she looked down at her hands. “But for emotional support, I could really use that,” she looked back at her with a shy grin.

“That I can do,” Wanda nodded, stepping to her spot by Y/N and nodding when looking to Tony who was waiting for the all-clear.

“Opening,” Tony shouted and the door hissed open. “Make it quick, Obi-Wan.”

“That’s never leaving, is it?” Y/N turned to Wanda with a grimace.

“I did one thing and now I’m The Witch, so,” she shrugged and brushed it off then motioned for Y/N to lead.

She took another breath and walked in the same way she did before, hesitantly and then quickly putting on a brave face.

“She’s back,” he hummed.

“Gabriel, we need to talk.”

“Someone found their voice,” he chuckled, but his voice was rasped as he refused to drink any water they gave him.

“Sounds like you’re losing yours,” she retorted, not just meaning physically.

He looked up at her slowly.

“Someone really found their voice,” he chortled as if he was offended by her having something he wanted.

She was in front of him seconds after walking in. Her eyes never left him, and her posture showed she wasn’t going to be easy to break down this time. She didn’t know how she knew how to do this type of intimidation tactic, but it felt natural like a lot of other things that were coming back to her.

“Can we get over the tough guy act and give this a try the less painful way?” she asked.

Nat, Bucky, and Tony were all staring at each other on the other side of the glass trying to see if any of the others had a clue as to what she was hinting to.

From the sounds of their agreement, they were going to talk to Gabriel about this. They didn’t expect her to even consider a torture talk.

“Did she just say-”

“May want to be on stand-by Romanoff,” Tony interrupted.

“She wouldn’t,” Nat brushed off easily, attempting to throw the men off her nerves.

“Do we know that for certain?” Tony turned to the redhead more.

“She wouldn’t hurt anyone who didn’t start the fight first,” Nat waved them off again, putting her hands in her back pockets.

“You do that when you get nervous,” Bucky pointed at her hands.

Tony gasped. “Oh my God, you totally do,” he said pointing with him, his tone mocking a high school girl’s.

Whether or not he was totally serious no one would know, but either way, Nat and Bucky looked at him with judging eyes, before moving on as if desensitized to his antics.

“You think she’ll do it?” Bucky asked Nat.

“I don’t think she will,” Nat repeated for extra measures.

After the boys finally somewhat believed her enough to stop studying her further, she coughed under her breath.

“Oh, my God!” Bucky let out an angry chuckle and threw his hands up. “How are you one of the best spies in the world and you can’t lie to save your own ass!”

“What?! I’m not lying!” Nat let out a ‘psh’ sound.

Bucky just stared at her with a bitch-face. “Seriously, you couldn’t get any worse.”

“Jesus, then go in there yourself if you’re so worried,” Nat waved her hand in that direction, arms now crossed. “If you want an excuse to save your not-so-damsel in distress, you got it.”

“No,” he backed down real fast. “I mean I trust she won’t do anything. She’s level-headed enough,” he said more so trying to convince himself he knew her enough that that would be accurate.

“Wanda’s on standby anyway, we already talked,” Tony said still watching the interaction between Y/N and Gabriel while they talked.

“What?” Nat and Bucky both asked turning to where he was leaning on the wall by the glass.

“We both agreed she may not have been fully mentally stable to be making this call, so we promised we both clear the worries by just keeping a closer eye on her,” Tony said.

“I mean,” Bucky paused, “That was smart, but why didn’t you let us in on that?”

“You two were going to protect her either way, why did you need the warranty?” he shrugged like it wasn’t that big a deal. “Now shut up we’re missing the showdown. It’s crazy how good she is for someone who didn’t know her name 2 weeks ago.”

Wanda could hear everything being said on the other side of the armored wall and now it was her turn to roll her eyes. Sometimes certain members of this group shouldn’t be left alone in a room together.

“Gabriel, I need you to try and remember something for me,” she tried to give him some form of sympathy, but he was making it really hard with the random curses and stabs at her trauma he threw.

“Oooh! You don’t think I have my memory? Like you?” he cackled. “That’s so sad,” he continued to laugh like a manic, still strapped in a straight jacket. “

Y/N’s face went from empathetic to a scary aggravated face.

“Pet,” he spit the name out with the venom it held. “I remember it all… And yet I still choose to do this.”

His eye contact showed a promise and it was one no one would like.

“Maybe the torture tactic isn’t such a bad idea,” Bucky stood staring sharply at the restrained man sitting comfortably. Only a glass wall was between him and that chair.

“I’ll take a turn myself,” Nat said in a similar stance.

“You two are going to get a lawsuit on my hands. Let her do her thing and we’ll see if we need to step in,” Tony waved them away.

Inside Wanda could see the expression of hurt on her face, turn quickly to obstinacy.

“You’re such a liar,” she laughed, before walking around him to where she was behind his back and he couldn’t move to see her.

A move that freaked him out and she could tell it made him uneasy. Uneasy and challenged men love to try and show how tough they are by usually… Proving a point.

“Why would I lie about that?” he asked, angered by her put down.

“Because why would they send a low-level agent into the field with any knowledge that was important to them? Do you know how easily a place like this could squeeze you completely dry of all your secrets? Seconds, Gabriel. Seconds,” she said in a disappointed grimace. “It’s rule number one in class.”

His face was in a frustrated frown and his cheeks seemed to be burning

“Class? What class teaches that?” Nat asked, and Bucky answered.

“I’m worried what I’m thinking isn’t far from the truth.”

“I’m a higher-up agent now. Higher than we knew existed,” he hissed. “There are things I get access to that others don’t.”

“Cool. I still don’t think you’re telling the truth, but cool,” she shrugged, standing in front of him in a relaxed position knowing she had the upper hand. And that infuriated him.

“I don’t have to prove anything to you,” he said moving in his seat to readjust.

“He’s uncomfortable,” Bucky noticed the movements.

“This isn’t her first rodeo,” Tony said casually, and Bucky and Nat shared a worried look.

“Great. Then we can do this the other way,” she said moving toward him with her hands out.

“Wait!” he stopped her, looking at her hands in fear.

She stopped in her step and gave him a patient look.

“They told me the location of one of their bases,” he said quickly. “I could tell you, but there has to be something in it for me.”

“Nice offer, but I’m going to just get that information either way if we do it my way,” Y/N shrugged and continued on. “I’m sorry by the way 'cause this isn’t going to feel good.”

“Y/N,” Wanda watched closely and took a step. “What are you doing?”

“Just a little mind trick to get him back to normal,” she answered positioning her hands to touch his temples. “It wouldn’t feel great, but it’ll bring him back.”

“You haven’t practiced this before.”

Gabriel was trying to scoot back on the chair, bobbing to get away from her, but making little to no difference in his position and restraints. “Please! Please!”

“I’ve done it too many times to count,” she thought to herself, but Wanda could hear and immediately knew what she meant.

As Stark said, “This wasn’t her first rodeo.”

The next second her thumbs were placed on the center of his forehead and her index fingers touched his temples, and he stopped squirming and sat completely still.

It was like she put him to sleep, but his body was on autopilot. After a few seconds with Y/N looking down, she was wincing at things she could see while she closed her eyes.

“Y/N?” she asked, stepping up more and looking at her carefully.

“Wanda, what’s happening?” they asked in the comms.

“She’s going into his memories, but it’s,” she paused coming about 4 feet away from the interaction not sure what to do, but she tried to look in Gabriel's head and it was… “She’s taken him to some place in space. Mentally at least,” she said. “I don’t know what’s happening though.”

“The hell is going on in there?” Tony questioned before he started marching to the doors.

Bucky and Nat are following out of concern for Y/N.

Once they walked in, Gabriel’s eyes were open and he was looking around lost.

“What the hell happened? Where am I?” he asked frantically, and the look in his eyes was not the same sadistic ones from earlier.

These were scared, yet awakened, eyes.

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