#i havent snapped and i wont snap but fucking god am i close
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starting to understand why white boys punch holes in the wall
#my hands already have nerve damage tho dw. i like using them even like this#i havent snapped and i wont snap but fucking god am i close#shit is so fucked right now.
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Mafia
Chapter 7
Mafia chapter 7
You Can Run But You Cant Hide...
Hey guys!! sorry chapter 7 took so long to write, had a little bit of writer's block, along with some projects I needed to do for my class. But here is chapter 7! I am currently writing chapters 8 and 9! If you are new to the series Hi and welcome, those who are coming back, Hi and welcome back!.
Now, here it is Mafia chapter 7
If you havent read the chapters dont worry I will link it down below!
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6
Synopsis: Elvis Presley, the notorious mafia leader of Memphis, Tennessee has the town on its feet. Fear, power, money, and women surround him and his Memphis mafia. But what happens when one day you stumble into his world? And he makes you fall in love with him?
Elvis POV:
I dont know what happened, one minute I was showing off my girl Y/N to my mafia, then the next Im tackling Lamar to the ground. It all happened in the blink of an eye.
“Elvis stop!” “Let him go!” said Jerry
Each punch I threw connected with Lamars face.
“That's enough Elvis, look what you're doing!” Jerry continued to yell.
In a desperate attempt to reduce injuries to his face, Lamar used his arms as a shield, blocking my punches as best he could. Blood stained my white shirt along with Lamar's face.
Feeling my arms being pulled away from Lamar, I kept trying to break free. kicking my legs every which way.
“Let me go! he needs to learn his place!” I yelled trashing and trying to remove myself from their grip on me.
“Elvis, I’m sorry!” Said Lamar.
“Elvis, calm down, look at what you did!’ For god sakes Y/N is terrified!”
The mention of her name snapped me back to reality.
“Y/N!, Y/N, baby where are you?”
“Shes gone Elvis, I had one of the men take her to your room. You should have seen her, she was shaking like a leaf!” said Jerry.
“God damnit!” Slamming the wall with my hands. My hands were covered with Lamar's blood.
“I didn’t want her to get scared of me” running my hand through my hair. It’s a habit I formed when I become either anxious or upset.
“Well, congratulations EP, you fucking just did!” said Jerry sarcastically.
Looking at the scene I caused, Lamar's bloody face, crying repeating the words I'm sorry E, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. I slowly backed away from my men and said “Imma head upstairs to check on her” “Jer, take Lamar to the nurse, I’ll see him in a bit”
“Will do”
And with that I quickly made my way up the stairs.
Jogging, I got up to the top floor, the black padded doors greet me, but not the way I wanted them to. Slowly, I grabbed the door handles, and sweat dripped from my forehead. "What if I scared her for good." "how am I going to get y/n to trust me if she is scared of me." sighing I slowly turned the handle to open the doors to my room.
“Y/N?” I said
I waited for a response, but when nothing came after a few seconds I inched my head closer to my room.
"Y/N," I said again as I looked further into the room, I spotted her huddled in a corner, her knees to her face.
"way to fucking go, Elvis she hates you now," my conscious told me. those last three words haunting me "She hates you". shaking the feeling out of my head, I inched my way closer to her.
“Baby? I know this looks bad, but I did it for a good reason” I said.
“Lamar needed to know his place, and he crossed the line making that comment.”
I said making my way closer to her, Y/N still didn’t move nor look up.
“Baby, please look at me” nothing
“I didn’t mean to scare you” nothing again, y/n hasn't moved an inch.
“I Just have a bad temper” "My temper tend to get the best of me little"
I got as close to Y/N as I could. kneeling down in front of her, I pushed a few hair strands back. Trying my best to have her at least look at me. I don’t want her to think I’m some monster.
“Baby, please look at me”
"I'm terribly sorry" "It wont happen again, I promise"
"Like hell it wont", I muttered under my breath
Y/N started to look up at me, slowly lifting her head up from her knees.
“That’s it baby, please look at me”
As she slowly lifted her head up, I was so distracted that I didn’t notice her right hand, holding a vase. Y/N smashes it to the side of my head.
Knocking me down on the ground, I tried to compose myself. Processing what just happened.
I looked up from where I was and saw she was running towards the doors.
“Come back here!” I yelled Blood dripped from my forehead. But the adrenaline was enough to pull me up and get me to my feet. running as fast as I could to stop her. Y/N was dashing past the door, making it down the stairs. Exiting the front door, out of Graceland and out of my reach.
“Fuck!” I said punching the wall thus creating a small hole in it.
“JERRY!, LARRY!, CHARLIE!” I NEED YALL HERE NOW!” I yelled, my head pounding every which way.
They all ran from where they were to come find me.
“EP what’s wrong?!” “Is there trouble?!” Said Charlie
“Jerry starts the car, Y/N escaped,” I said almost breathlessly. "God damn that blow was hard." clutching onto the side of my forehead pulling my hand away, I saw a few drops of blood on them.
“Shit!, E how?!” said Larry
Annoyed I looked up from where I was starting at and said “DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST DO AS I SAY!”
And with that, my men left and started to get the car ready. Quickly making my way down the stairs I winced as the effects of the adrenaline started to wear off.
I finally made it past the stairs and reached the front doors of Graceland.
“She couldn’t have gone far,” I told myself. Graceland is in a secluded area, there’s no way she could have gone far.
“Beep!” “Beep!” “You ready E?” Yelled Jerry
“Yeah!Let's go find her!
And with that, Jerry revved up the engine of my Cadillac Eldorado, me getting into the passenger seat, Larry and Charlie in the back seat, and Jerry as Driver. Jerry backs up the car harshly, and looking at rear view mirror, Graceland began to become farther and farther from our reach. And now it is off to find where my little runway has gone too.
"You can run, but you cant hide," I said silently as the hunt to find Y/N was on.
What do we think yall!
What do you think is gonna happen in chapter 8 and 9!
I wanna hear your thoughts.
Thank you @erutluve for the pics for the Mafia Fan Fics! I love them so much!
Thank you to @erutluv, @plasticfantasticl0ver and @natipooxx
I can't wait for y'all to read the next chapters! Stay tuned!
#elvisaaronpresley#elvis fanfic#mafia fic#mafia romance#memphis mafia#elvis presley#elvis 2022#elvis x reader#elvis x y/n#elvis x you#jerry schilling#fanfic#elvis fans#elvis the king
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I feel like if anyone had Thoughts about this it’d be you but : zodiac signs as yandere ?
I have so many thoughts on this!!! I’m assuming anon wants to know about sun signs only, so that’s what I did! Keep in mind that literally every single one of these will be biased towards how I view the signs, so if you disgree then.... sorry!! (This post also might be a little long because there are. Twelve signs.)
-
Aries - Okokokok...... I would like to think..... an Aries would be a possessive, but in a very aggressive way?? Like if they’re jealous of one of your friends they will not hold back. If you wont get rid of them in your life, they’ll do it for you with little hesitation. I feel theyd be romantic and flirty, and refusing their advances just is Not an option. They’ll often lose their temper if you misbehave too much, and it wont take much to get them to that point. They’re very loud and headstrong, and will absolutely manipulate you into doing whatever they want. They aren’t very affectionate, but if you ask nicely enough they’ll begrudgingly cuddle with you (and secretly enjoy it but shhh) Their punishments: severe. Their amount of remorse: zero.
Taurus - Definitely a more submissive yandere!! Probably a delusional and when you disagree with them or tell them theyre wrong, that you don’t love them, they will probably cry so much and not speak to you for days at a time as opposed to physically punishing you. Will not get angry easily and will repress any anger they feel until one day they snap and go Crazy and break your legs or something. They will not take kindly to your nasty remarks or constant attempts to free yourself from their captivity, but they will generally react very passively because they love you and would never want to hurt you (unless they really had to, of course)!! 10/10 will make you nap with them. Constantly.
Gemini - They’re probably a little delusional, but also really obsessive and clingy!! They will force you to cuddle with them for HOURS AND HOURS and just... play with your hair... and babble about their day and the weather and whatever to keep you in their arms. It’s honestly pretty nice and relaxing, and perfect if you’re okay with lounging around all day. They’ll probably really half-ass everything too. Like yeah you’ll be in handcuffs, but if you really tried you’d probably be able to slip out of them because they didn’t bother getting ones that actually fit. Also, everytime you lash out at them they will completely brush it off and deflect everything. They will just pull you into their lap and coddle you until you’ve calmed down and stopped saying such ridiculous things to them. Will also make really dumb jokes in conversations they have with you, and you will have to laugh no matter how awful they are. I mean, unless you want to be punished (read: cuddled) more.
Cancer - A soft yandere, baby!! They will pamper the HELL out of you. They will deck your room out with the nicest furniture, get you the /softest/ handcuffs on the market, bake you your favorite desserts, the whole nine yards!! They will comfort you when you cry about your situation, but will refuse to acknowledge that they are the reason your crying. Very delusional and very manipulative, will guilt trip you into being nice to them. Very powerful puppy dog eyes. 10/10 will kiss you on the forehead and apologize for every bad thing they’ve ever had to do to you.
Leo - They were probably the popular kid in school and you probably had a massive crush on them. When u finally managed to get their attention they never stopped paying attention to you. The next thing you knew, you were locked in their attic. They are very ambitious, and once they had their eyes set on you, no one was going to get in their way. Very possessive, will cut off all of your friends for you and be very jealous!! When the roles are reversed, though, and you get jealous of their friends, it’s fine baby!! There’s nothing to be jealous of!! ^3^ Will probably spoil you a little bit, but only if you havent pissed them off recently. If you’re mean to them they will take it so personally and be so dramatic about it!!
“Can you say something to me it’s been three days.”
“I thought my voice was annoying you >:T”
“Oh my god-“
Virgo - Protective protective protective!! Will lock you in a room with absolutely no furniture with sharp corners or anything you could hurt yourself on. An actual perfectionist, will put makeup on you, do your hair so there isn’t a single strand out of place, and dress you in color coordinated outfits ONLY. Will literally take the best care of you, but it’s overbearing how much they worry about your safety all. The. Time. You will more than likely never leave the house without them, and never without at least SPF 50 sunscreen on. Will attempt to be your personal therapist, but has never properly processed and emotion before, so... they aren’t very effective. If you attempt to escape, they will punish you severely.
“Ayo I sure wish I wasn’t HERE right now ahaha sure wish I was HOME and not with YOU.”
“Oh? Ahahaha okay!” *literally breaks your fucking toes* “See! You have to stay with me!! You could get hurt much worse than this in the outside world, you have to be more careful!! :)”
Libra - Probably protective and obsessive to a certain extent. Will probably be really sympathetic?? But like in a “I cant let you go I’m sorry the world is bad and scary and I don’t want you getting hurt.” kinda way. They would want to give you a little bit of freedom, though, so they’ll let you go out with your friends occasionally, but they’ll be VERY cautious and, well, protective of you. They are very understanding and give you lenient punishments when you push them over the edge and theyre ‘forced’ to punish you, but will not comfort you afterwards to compensate for the lack of severity of their punishments. Balance, baby!
Scorpio - An obsessive for sure. Literally IN LOVE WITH YOU. Will instagram stalk you, your family, your friends, your neighbor’s dogs, ANYONE that has ever been in contact with you. They already know everything about you when they finally execute their plan to kidnap you. They’re very attractive and strong willed and will put you in your place with no hesitation, but afterwards will attempt to kiss it better because they feel sorta bad. They just want you to love them!! They crave so much attention constantly, and will want to cuddle with you and be close to you at all times. You will have to be an excellent liar, because they will be able to call you on your bullshit so easily!! They will absolutely not tolerate any lying, so it’s better to justbe honest with them, even if you think it will make them mad. 10/10 will probably stare at you for hours on end without saying a single word and then watch you sleep. All lovingly, of course.
Sagittarius - P o s s e s s i v e. Can and will beat the shit out of anyone that touches you and will beat the shit out of you if you mention someone other than them to teach you a lesson. They have very bad commitment issues because they’re afraid of the people they love leaving them, and they overcompensate for it a lot. Probably actually a little bit out of their mind beyond the whole “I have my love interest locked in my basement” thing. Will give you the bare minimum amount of the things you need to survive and will deprive you of food and water for days at a time if you say something a little too nasty to them. Is really good at saying the right things to talk you down when you’re upset after a punishment or something. Very good at making you laugh as much as you hate to admit it!! 10/10 will probably turn to sensory deprivation if all else fails just because they’re sadistic like that.
Capricorn - Very responsible, planned a lot for your arrival. Very smart, rational, and protective, they have a plan for literally any situation thrown their way. They’re very fragile but they project it all onto you, and as a result they take very good care of you. They’re kinda intimidating but actually very sweet, and they love you more than they love themself. Probably rich because they’re really good at saving money, and they’ll spoil you with every cent they have. Bossy, and if you choose to ignore what they tell you to do they will make your life miserable for the next few days. Again, they’re very serious looking and intimidating, but they have a playful and carefree side that only really comes out around you!! They love you a whole lot, and make that very clear through the gifts they give you constantly.
Aquarius - Hear me out. Remember that tsundere yandere post Daydreams made? That’s Aquarius. They are very mean and nasty!!! A true goblin, honestly. They’re totally head over heels in love with you, but they’ll make you work to earn that love, even though you didn’t ask for it. You want attention?
“Haha nerd, why would I come cuddle you?? That’s like... weird... You’re gross!!”
Do they hate you, or do they want to marry you and ride off into the sunset with you? You’ll never know, because they wont ever let you get close enough to them to figure out what goes on inside that crazy head of theirs. Overall will probably treat you well, if you’re okay with the constant bullying and berating that you’ll get from them daily, that is.
Pisces - Soft like Cancer, but obsessive like Scorpio!! Has very strong feelings for you, but doesn’t know how to manage them in a healthy way. They want you all to themself, and the only way they know how to keep you in their life is by taking you. Very manipulative and delusional.
“Haha fancy seeing you here babe!”
“I am locked in your basement and I have been for the past seven months-“
“Crazy how we just keep running into eachother! Are you, like, obsessed with me or something?”
Like Virgo, they’ll try to be your personal therapist, but Pisces is actually good at it. You can never hide how you’re feeling from them, because if they pick up even the slightest difference in your tone of voice they will dig through their brain for any possible event that could have taken place to make your mood shift even the slightest bit. Crazy, but in a very loving and wholesome way. 10/10 would take a bullet for you!!
#this took me way longer than it should have#pls appreciate it#astrology people interact#which is your favorite!!#guess which signs i hate the most LOL#guess which sign is mine too :)#astrology#yandere astrology#yandere#yandere zodiacs#zodiac#yandere zodiac#yanderecore#yandere imagine#yandere drabble#piss goblin speaks
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Snowed In In Your Heart
It was snowing,dead silence,not even a machine making noise, however, inside a little cabin, life dwelled inside, smaller machines were making a pillowfort, as a human made a warm drink.
The Fire cracked slightly, the flame moving as if it was dancing.Slow feet drag themselves along the livingroom, and sit in the couch-like furniture, the girl takes a sip, watching the fireplace as the warmth of it hits her skin,a sigh of relief comes out and the machines around her purr, its a calm evening in the banuk territory.
The girl was an engenieer, she liked to tinker with machines , making them, even, and the ones she created, were docile, and calm, usually helping around the house, and going with her on patrol.
The area she lived had a lot of Rivers and ponds,frozen by now,and it was a shortcut to The Cut, and the main place of Aratak's werak, her job is to take care of the area, make sure no-one suspicious entered and help lost wanderers.
But now, nothing comes up on the radar she installed around the thin Ice ponds, no heat signal on any screen, finally she could relax, sleep and maybe invent something...
But no..., SOMEBODY had to get lost in the middle of the forest.
The girl sighs, and grabs her thick furcoat, giving a last long sip to her drink, the wolves behind her make a mechanic whine and follow her , they place themselves on the reins in the mechanical sled and walk, pushing it behind them in case the person lost is injured.
Eventually they arrive where the scanner indicated, a tall and dark skinned Man rans towards her, trying not to freeze.
-Finally someone!- the Man says as he rubs his hands on his arms, trying to warm himself- we Need to get the fuck out before a blizzard comes-
'Not even a thank you, okay. Rude' the girl thinks,as she leads the Man to the sled, he sits and the wolves push foward ,she takes the wolves back to the cabin, with a bit of luck, her drink might still be warm
-What were you doing in there?, nobody uses that shortcut anymore-
-One, Id Like the name of my saviour, second, whatever I was doing there is non of your bussines-
The woman sighs and nodds, grabbing the drink.
-My name, Is Jericho, - she sits in the couch with an eyebrow raised- I guess you wont tell me your name either , since is none of my business..-
The Man sighs and sits near the fireplace, warming his body.
-My name, Is Sylens-he says looking at jericho- thought Aratak have already mentioned me-
-he is a Man who speaks few words,and besides- the banuk woman says- I live far from aratak's werak , but he pays me in metal shards and leftovers of machines he hunts, I dont care what he does , ill stay here in this area anyway, nobody disturbs me and im okay with it-
Sylens hums in agreement and looks at the wolf-like machines, one of them sits in his lap, and he cant help but pet them.
-You made them?- the Man asks
-Now see-jericho says with a smug smile on her face- I could say that Is none of your business ,BUT im a good person so I will answer your question- sylens rolls his eyes and his face contorns into a small smile- yes, I made them myself, I am both an engenieer and a tinkerer of sorts-
-Well...these are...just amazing, im impressed-
Jericho chuckles and drinks the last of her drink.
-Alright misterious stranger , I suspect the blizzard Will start anytime soon-she stands up, and locks the door of the cabin,she hears her companion chuckle under his breath- we Will probably get snowed in, since the snow here covers most of the entrance, and Judging from what I can see out the Window , its going to be a bad one-
'Are you serious?, I have to get trough the cut as soon as possible!' Sylens complains inside his head, but outside he nodds.
-So ill have to stay here until the blizzard stops, good, now,how much does a blizzard last around here-
Jericho bits her Lip,knowing that those types of storms can last a bit too long.
-Well...two to three weeks almost, maybe two and a half if youre lucky-
- you must be kidding!-sylens stands up, and looks at her- I got to get trough the cut in less than a week!, dont you have any type of gizmo that can help me get there faster?-
The banuk woman shakes her head.
-I too have bussines in the Cut but they Will have to wait, im sorry sylens..., you'll have to stay here until the storm goes away-The Man sighs.-luckily for you, I have a spare bed, come, over here-
They walk around the cabin, it goes into the mountain just behind it, and there is the spare room.
-Make yourself comfortable,if its too cold use one of the fur covers over there- she point at a couple of furs hanging- I havent figured how to install a fireplace here so, that Will have to do-
Sylens nodds and gets to unpack some of his stuff.
{...}
After dinner, both share a goodnight and they go to their beds.
In the night, sylens shifts and trashes around this bed.
Its too cold.
He sighs in defeat, dragging himself along the corridos of the house, arriving at the livingroom, where jericho was, the place was way warmer than his room, the fireplace illuminates the woman's features, a Pointy nose, thin lips and a few strands of dark chocolate hair , losely resting around her face.
He feels his cheeks getting warmer.
No, he couldnt be blushing, he never blushes.
Hell, he was sure he is allergic to human emotions!.
But he Will admit he misses the kindness of others, and Jericho had a lot of it, and not just that, she is sarcastic and funny, and really clever.
Just for once, he pushes that cold demeanor to the back of his head.
The woman shifts , facing the wall.Sylens goes and lays down Next to her, covering himself with the fur, still looking at the fireplace.
A lot of thoughts ran over in his mind.
What the hell is he doing laying down Next to her?.
He should be looking for a way to get trough the Cut as soon as possible!.
But living the moment doesnt feel extremely bad.
He never relaxes or takes a break, always on the run.
-Too cold back there?- a half-asleep voice says.
Sylens snaps out of it.
-if it makes you unconfortable ill leave right away--
A pair of arms hug him from behind, and a face rests in the crook of his neck.
-No no,stay, its okay,I dont mind-
He gets what shes trying to do, reduce heat loss but...his cheeks go absolutely red, thank god she cant see it.
His body scoots closer to jericho's chest, the warm of her body makes him quickly feel sleepy and tired, and before he closes his eyes he sees the both of them holding hands.
But he doesnt have time to complain, he's about to fall asleep.
And maybe it isnt such a Bad idea...
{...}
-void
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Unexpected Arrival -4
Pairing: Eventual Bucky x Reader, Possible Steve x Reader
Summary: As if working with the Avengers wasn’t exciting enough…. an unexpected visitor is about to change your life forever.
A/N: This part kinda took a little angsty turn! After the next chapter, there may be a little time jump.... i havent decided yet. Thank you to everyone who is reading/sharing, it means alot!
I was cleared by Bruce, as long as i promised to take it easy for a couple of days! Bucky walked with me back to the residential floor, Evie safely tucked into his right arm as i leant on his left for a bit of support.
"Hey Buck, lets just stop in the common room for a bit. I need to eat and not be stuck in a bed for a while"
"You sure? Bruce said to rest...."
"I'll be resting just fine on the sofa, while you make me a sandwich"
"Okay, deal" he chuckled shaking his head as we walked into the common room. I walked over to the sofa and gently lowered myself down, Bucky standing close by waiting for me to get comfortable.
"I'm not sure how much rest you'll get when the team realise you and Evie are in here" he said leaning forward to place Evie in my arms once he saw i was settled "what do you want on your sandwich doll?"
"I really dont mind, id eat anything im that hungry" i scoffed as i snuggled into the sofa with Evie laying on my chest.
"Well i'll be damned!!" Came the booming voice of Sam Wilson.
"Shhhhh she's sleeping bird brain!" Bucky snapped as he playfully shoved Sams shoulder.
"Sorry! I didnt know!" He mumbled as he walked over and sat across from me "i heard what happened but i thought they were all just messing with me!!"
"Nope its true, surprise huh?"
"Id say!! She's beautiful Y/N" Sam flashed a huge grin as he looked down at Evie.
"Thank you Sam" i smiled proudly and looked over to see Bucky keeping a close eye on us while he made my sandwich.
"What are you? The baby bodyguard?" Sam laughed teasing Bucky, Sam had obviously noticed that Bucky was keeping a close eye on us.
"Try the baby daddy!" Bucky replied with a dead straight face and murder in his eyes.
"What??!!" Sam practically squealed at Bucky's reply.
"Oh my god Buck.... did you really just say that?" I laughed at him, his eyes met mine and his facade broke as he burst out laughing "im sorry! I heard Tony say it yesterday" Bucky shrugged as he walked over with the plate holding my sandwich.
"Please don't ever say that again"
"Wait.... are you serious? Or are you fucking with me?? i honestly cant tell!"
Sam said shaking his head and looking super confused.
"Language! Don't swear around my daughter!" Bucky slapped Sam on the back of the head as he passed.
"Switch please" i smiled up at Bucky before taking the plate, once his hands were free he carefully picked up Evie and had her held against his chest in no time.
"Wow..... you’re like... good at the dad thing Buck" Sam said sounding surprised.
"I had younger sisters growing up, it was a long time ago but I'm pretty sure its still the same" he chuckled.
"Wait, how long have you two...."
"You can take this one Buck I'm eating" i said with a shit eating grin.
"Thanks Y/N" he rolled his eyes, looked at Sam and shrugged "it was one time, we're not together.... but we're in this together. Right doll?" He looked at me and smiled.
"Yep, what he said" i replied trying to keep my tone steady, it hurt a little hearing how casual he made it sound. It took me back to when he had acted like nothing had happened between us after we finally slept together all those months ago.
"I cant believe y'all have a baby!"
"Neither can we!" I said around a mouthful of my sandwich "imagine my surprise when Bruce told me i didn't have stomach flu and that i was in fact in labour!"
"Thats crazy sweetheart"
"Sure was, scariest thing I've ever been through Sammy....And the pain.... nothing compares to that!"
"But it was worth it, look what you got out of it" Sam was hovering around Evie clearly wanting to hold her but Bucky wasn't parting with her just yet.
"She was worth every bit of the pain".
Later that afternoon I was walking back to the common room after taking a shower and getting into clean clothes, i stopped by the door when i heard Sam and Bucky talking in hushed voices.
"Oh come on man! These girls are hot! You cant pass that up!" Sam was saying to Bucky.
"I don't know Sam, i don't really think me going out on a date is a good idea right now"
"Why the hell not?? Just because you got a kid now? Im sure Evie wont mind"
"Y/N's been through a lot man, i just feel like i need to be here for her and Evie"
"Buck come onnnn! they will both probably be asleep by 7pm! the date is at 8, you dont need to stay that long..."
I couldn't believe what i was hearing! I pushed the door open making sure it was loud enough that they heard me. Both men turned to face me, Sam with a huge fake smile and Bucky just looked plain guilty.
"Sorry did i interrupt something?" I asked casually as i flipped on the kettle to make some tea.
"No doll of course not"
"I was just telling Bucky about a date i arranged for him.... a double date actually. I needed a wingman"
"Oh...."
"And I was just telling Sam that i didn't think it was a good idea. I thought it'd be best if i stayed here incase you and Evie needed me"
"If you wanna go Buck don't let us stop you" i snapped turning to face them "i'll be fine with Evie on my own"
"See! I told you she'd be cool!"
I was suddenly feeling so angry and on the verge of tears all at once! I just needed to get away from them, I walked over to Bucky and reached down taking Evie.
"She needs feeding" i said simply "go on your date Bucky" i mumbled as i turned around and headed for my room.
I was sat on my bed nursing Evie with tears running down my face when i heard the knock on my door. I chose to ignore it hoping that whoever it was would take the hint and leave me alone.
"Y/N.... doll i know you’re in there i can hear you" Steve called from outside making me sigh and wipe my tears away.
"Im just feeding Evie, i'll be out in a minute"
"Can i come in?.... i can tell you’re upset sweetheart"
"Im fine Steve..." i called back but burst into tears again. The next thing i know the door clicked open and Steve came in, he pushed the door closed behind him and locked it before rushing to my side. He sat next to me on my bed pulling me into him carefully while trying not to disrupt Evie's feeding.
"You wanna tell me whats wrong?" He asked quietly as he stroked my arm trying to calm me down.
"Im just a huge hormonal mess right now Steve" i mumbled not wanting to admit what had set me off "its been a lot to adjust to i guess and i think its all just catching up to me"
"You sure thats all? You know you can talk to me Y/N.... about anything"
"I know" i nodded "I'm not even sure why i got so upset.... not really"
"So something did upset you"
"It was stupid..... don't worry about it" i told him as i sat up seeing that Evie was done feeding, i held her blanket over my chest so i didn't expose myself to Steve.
"Could you take her for a second while i sort this out?"
"Sure" he nodded happily taking Evie.
I straightened out my shirt and settled back against the bed watching Steve burp Evie. His huge hand was rested against her chest supporting her chin and jaw, his free hand gently rubbing her back.
"How do you even know how to wind a baby Steve?" I asked curiously, he looked like a pro!
"I may have done some research" he blushed a little "i wanted to know what kinda stuff needed to be done so i could help out if you needed me to"
I was suddenly crying again!!
"Oh god.... what?? Why are you crying?"
He asked starting to panic.
"That was really thoughtful of you Steve! I cant believe you went to that effort for us... for Evie"
"Of course i did, gotta be there for my favourite girls" he said smiling just as Evie let out a little burp making us both laugh, it was the cutest little sound!
"So why are you in here crying? Talk to me" Steve said a few minutes later.
"Steve...."
"Wouldn't have anything to do with whatever the hell Sam and Bucky were bickering over would it?"
"Probably" I nodded as i picked at a thread on the blanket avoiding looking at Steve "Sam arranged a date for Bucky. I heard them talking.... Bucky said he didn't think he should go considering I've just given birth to his daughter. He feels like he needs to be here incase we need him" i shrugged "i want him to want to be here for her, i don't want him to feel like he has to.... like she's a burden to his dating life" i admitted to Steve then started to laugh at how stupid i sounded "i sound fucking crazy i know!"
"No you don't"
"I told him to go, told him that he should go on his date.... not to let us stop him, that i would be fine on my own"
"But you don't want him to go on that date do you" It wasn't a question, it was Steve stating a fact.
"No..."
"Y/N, why don't you just tell him that?"
"Because i'll sound like a crazy woman!! he doesn't owe me anything Steve, he’s not my boyfriend.... we didn't plan this" i rambled on not even sure if i was making any sense at all "yes, we have a daughter together now but that doesn't mean he has to put his life on hold. If he wants to date who am i to stop him?"
"And what about your feelings for Bucky?"
"W..what?" I asked wide eyed, caught off guard by Steve's comment.
"Im not blind doll, i see the way you are with him... the way you look at him. You love him" Steve stated smiling "and that was before you had Evie!"
"I.... i dont... shit. So what if i do huh?? Steve, it doesnt change the fact that he doesnt feel the same way!"
"How do you know that? Have you asked him??"
"Of course i haven't asked him!! But he made it clear enough back in Alaska" i shrugged.
"What do you mean?"
"if you had finally slept with the woman you loved.... would you act like nothing happened the next day?? Act like everything was normal, ignore her even. Go on dates with other women...."
"I wouldn't no"
"Exactly! There's no point in me telling Bucky how i feel because i know he will never feel the same".
"Y/N...."
"Its fine, honestly. I'll be okay, its just the hormones.... I'm over reacting" i shrugged "please don't say anything to him Steve.... i know he’s your best friend but this stays between us".
"I wont, i promise" he smiled sadly as he held my hand bringing it up to place a kiss on the back of it.
"Thank you Steve".
#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#winter soldier#bucky fanfic#bucky imagine#bucky x you#sebastian stan#steve x reader#unexpectedarrival
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Enough - ch 9/9
Aaaah! It’s finished!! Thank you SO MUCH for all your lovely lovely messages, this fandom is GORGEOUS and so kind <3 <3 <3 This final chapter is almost an epilogue, written from Erik’s POV, and almost entirely fluffy ^_^ or as close as I get to fluff lol! I hope you like it!
Read from the beginning on AO3 if you like!
Erik felt Charles’s mind whirling with anxiety even as he stood perfectly still with a polite smile on his face. He sighed, and imagined a twisting band of iron tangling itself in the maelstrom of Charles’ thoughts, capturing him, holding him still.
Beside him, Charles jumped, his eyes going wide. He turned and smiled sheepishly at Erik. “How do you do that? It’s like… being hugged inside my own head.”
“I have a very visual imagination,” he said with a smirk. Charles blushed, and tried to look reproachful, but really, with the filthy thoughts flooding his own mind he had no room for such hypocrisy. Erik reached out an arm and tugged him close by the scruff of his neck. “Calm down, Liebchen. My mother is going to adore you.”
“Just because you adore me, doesn’t mean everyone else is so misguided,” Charles teased. Erik heard the thread of pleading beneath his words, in the place where his thoughts still tangled with Erik’s.
The past months had been a relationship like nothing Erik had ever imagined, let alone experienced. It had taken weeks of careful reassurance to convince Charles that Erik really did want him around - in every way. Charles was so painfully desperate to please, and yet his self-esteem was so completely shrivelled, that Erik found himself constructing elaborate revenge fantasies while he worked, scenes where he punched Kurt Marko in the face until his own knuckles bled. Or where he kicked Charles’ Oxford roommate down the stairs for trying to manipulate him into cheating. When Charles came across those thoughts one unguarded moment, he blinked up at him, shocked.
“You know very well I’m not a very nice person, Charles,” he said with a shrug.
Charles thought for a moment, then straddled his knees and pressed close for a hug. “That’s not true, Erik. Your thoughts are not your actions, and nobody’s hurt when you think such things.”
Erik pulled him back to look at him seriously. “You should know that I would do those things if I ever saw you in such situations, though. I wouldn’t hesitate.”
“I know,” he said, blue eyes gazing at him in wonder.
Now waiting in the airport for his mother to arrive, Erik tugged him close and embraced him, resting his chin on his head. Charles retreated from his mind a little, the edge of his telepathy just skating noticeably on the surface. It felt to Erik a bit like holding hands. He knew Charles was there, Charles knew he could dive into the sanctuary of Erik’s mind at any moment, but they were separate most of the time. It was very similar to the way Erik sometimes played with Charles’ watch strap, tightening and loosening it with his power absent-mindedly.
Charles shifted in his hold and sent him a thought he’d picked up off the surface of one of the airport employees. Erik jumped a little to hear a woman’s voice speak straight into his own mind, but squeezed Charles’ waist. “Sounds like Mutti will be here soon, then.”
Charles took a deep breath and straightened out, brushing his blazer down and looking for stray crumbs or creases. He even glanced through Erik’s eyes at himself, and Erik made a point of lingering his gaze on Charles’ arse. “Very funny,” Charles said, trying to conceal a smile, and failing. “I want to look smart, I don’t care what my backside looks like.”
“You look perfect,” he laughed, then looked up, his attention homing in on the feel of a set of slim golden bands he knew so well. “Ah, there she is! Mutti!”
He waved at his mother, and she did a little skip when she saw him across the arrivals lounge, waving back wildly and hurrying towards them. Erik met her in the middle and scooped her up into a spin. “Erik! Oh, my darling, it’s so good to see you! Put me down, you silly boy! What will all these people think if I kick one of them in the knees because my son is spinning me around like this?” She laughed and leaned back as he dropped her back to her feet. “Look at you! So handsome, so tall, where’s my little baby?”
“You know I haven’t grown an inch since I was twenty-three,” he snorted.
“But you will always be my baby, won’t you,” she grinned, pinching his cheeks.
He slapped her away playfully. “Stop, you fool. Come and meet Charles.”
“Ah! Your sweetheart!” She turned to Charles, who was still hovering slightly behind Erik, and switched to English. “You must be the man who has captured my Erik’s heart,” she said, holding out her hand.
Charles gave his best dazzling, harmless-professor smile. He looked perfectly poised, but he’d pulled back just slightly from Erik’s mind, closing himself off and holding himself perfectly rigid. He took Mutti’s hand and to both their surprise, bent over it and kissed her knuckles like some kind of Regency lord. “Mrs Lehnsherr. It’s such a pleasure! And thank you so much for your son.” What the fuck did I just say thank you FOR YOUR SON like he’s a present she gave me what the fuck is wrong with me oh my God she’s going to hate me and we haven’t even got out of the airport and--
The panicked mental stream cut off. Charles straightened up and blinked rapidly. Erik’s jaw dropped, and he quickly snapped his mouth shut and tried desperately to bite his lips to keep the laughter at bay. Mutti looked uncertainly at Erik.
“Well,” said Erik. “You did raise me very well, Mutti.”
Charles’ shoulder slumped and he covered his face with his hands, his ears turning bright red. Erik covered his mouth and shook with giggles.
“Did I misunderstand?” Mutti asked, in German. “Did he say thank you… for you?”
Erik laughed and hugged Charles, kissing him on the head over and over. “Oh, Schatz, you are the best thing in my life.”
Mutti slapped him on the arm. “Well, don’t laugh at the poor boy! See how embarrassed he is! Don’t listen to him, Charles, dear.” She took Charles’ hands gently away from his face, and Erik moved back, still chuckling, to let her closer.
Charles looked utterly miserable, and now Erik had stopped teasing him, he could hear Charles’ mental whispering, almost panicking about how he’d ruined everything and now Edie was going to hate him and think he was an idiot and Erik was going to realise how true that was… Erik’s amusement disappeared and he immediately sent mental waves of apology towards him, trying to cover him in peace and safety.
“Do you know,” said Mutti, holding both Charles’ hands between her own. “When I met my Jakob’s mother, I made the mistake of discussing politics? I didn’t realise she was a staunch conservative, and my liberal views didn’t go down very well.” She dipped her head slightly to meet Charles’ gaze. “Now, you said thank you to me for Erik? Well, of course, he is his own person, and has made himself into the wonderful man you know today, but I am honoured that you give me any credit at all for it.”
Charles swallowed hard and smiled up at her. Erik felt a glow of pride in his mother’s kindness. He used his power to buzz both Charles’ watch and Mutti’s rings affectionately, and pulled them into a hug, one loved person in each arm. “Come on, let’s get you home,” he said. He took Mutti’s suitcase handle in one hand, and tucked Charles under the other arm, and walked them back to the car.
***
She loves you already
, he said into Charles’ mind as they sat in the living room that evening after dinner.
Charles looked up, his eyes wide with hope. How can you know? I don’t want to…
I don’t have to read her mind to know what she thinks of you, he said, smiling over at his mother, who was looking out at the New York skyline outside Erik’s apartment, her hand elegantly folded under her chin, her elbow resting on the sofa. She’s going to love you as much as I do.
He felt Charles’ heart softening at his words, the swell of joy rising up under those negative thoughts that Erik hated so much, the thoughts Charles had been fed throughout his life and that convinced him he was so much less than he truly was.
But now, Charles sent tendrils of thought through Erik’s mind, down his muscles, giving a little tug that showed as a twitch of Erik’s arm, a little pull for permission. Erik grinned. Go ahead, he said, and gave up the control of his limbs. Charles lifted Erik’s arm, making space to press close against his side, draping Erik’s arm around his shoulder before releasing him with a content little sigh.
Mutti cast a look at the two of them on the sofa, a fond smile curling at her lip. Erik smiled back, and pulled Charles closer, breathing a kiss into his hair.
And in his mind, behind a door labelled ‘Surprise, keep out!’, he thought of the ring he had pushed into the very back of his sock drawer. Thought of Mutti’s delighted exclamations when he’d shown her earlier.
“That’s wonderful, Erik!” She grinned the wide, toothy smile he’d inherited. “But why are you showing me?”
Erik looked at her seriously. “Charles doesn’t have a family,” he said. “Or not one worth mentioning. To ask him to marry me would be to ask you to accept another son, and I want to know if you would be willing to love him and support him the way you do me.”
Edie’s green eyes softened with sadness and she put her hand on his elbow. “Oh, Liebling. I’d be honoured. Any person who can command your love and trust like this must be someone truly special. I can’t wait to get to know him.” She stretched up and kissed him on the cheek, and he hugged her tight.
This coming month was going to be the perfect opportunity for Mutti to get to know Charles. Erik already know she was going to adore him. Edie Lehnsherr liked everyone, and everyone liked Charles Xavier. And then, he thought, closing the door to his secret gleefully, he was going to make sure Charles knew that Erik loved him, and his family, small as it was, was all for Charles as well.
#My writing#cherik#Enough#Charles Xavier#Erik Lehnsherr#Edie Lehnsherr#charles/erik#emotional hurt/comfort#fluff#meet the parents
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You’ve Always Been Mine
chapter 14
`jooheon
sitting on the couch, i sank into the cushions and closed my eyes. this wasnt right. this wasnt how i pictured everything. i couldnt believe that wonho was sneaking around with the girl that i loved. how could she even allow him to do so. i pulled out my phone, trying to call nori’s new number. i sighed as it went straight to voicemail. she probably hasnt even turned it on yet.
i looked up from my phone, seeing hyungwon walk out into the living room, sitting next to me.
“you did on number on your knuckles there.” he said point down to my hand. i glanced down and noticed all my knuckles were bruised and red.
“i guess.” i said looking out towards the window. “why are you so angry?“ he asked as he crossed his legs.
i snapped my head back in his direction.
“im not angry- and im not having this conversation.” i said getting up from the couch. i went straight into my room, slamming the door and falling onto my bed.
“I TOLD YOU SO.” kihyun shouted through the wall.
`shownu
pulling up to the hotel, wonho and i got escorted up to the suit. we greeted the bodyguard then he knocked gently, waiting for an answer. misun slowly drew back the door- peaking through the crack before greeting us with a weak smile.
“hi.” she said almost to a whisper. she quickly glanced over at wonho- who had a patch on his nose, and dried up blood on his busted lip.
“bless your heart, please come in. i’ll make you guys some tea.” she said pulling the door completely open.
wonho took a seat on the couch, as misun started the tea.
“where’s nori?” i asked, taking off my jacket and joining her in the kitchen. she exhaled softly and nodded over to the bathroom. “bathing. i dont think she wants to be bothered.” misun turned around and placed her hands on her hips, leaning back against the counter.
“will you please explain whats happening?” her expression was full of worry.
i pulled her into a hug, shutting my eyes and sighing. she wrapped her arms around my waist, slipping her hands underneath my shirt to rub my back.
“im a tough girl, i can handle this. i just need to know that we’re safe here.” she whispered into my chest.
i nodded.
“i would never take you somewhere you’re not safe. wonho and i are staying with you guys tonight.”
she nodded and pulled back a bit to look up at me.
“something else happened-” she said searching for my eyes. “your energy is different.”
i was confused on how to tell her, that tomorrow- i would have to tell the entire world, that she was my girlfriend. i hadn’t even officially asked her yet. this situation was taking that away from her. she didnt deserve to be thrown into this.
i looked down at her, lifting my hand to push her hair back then kissed her forehead.
fuck it. i’ll just do it now.
“misun- tomorrow, a lot of changes will be happening. involving you and nori, but also- you and i.” i started.
the worry grew in her eyes.
“i never pictured this moment in this exact way- but, it doesn’t matter now. whatever happens, i dont ever want you to feel like you’re second to anything. you’ll always be top priority. no matter what. misun, will you officially be my girlfriend?”
her eyes slightly widened and she tilted her head a bit. a small smile appeared on her lips, and i could see a few tears starting to form in her eyes. her brows furrowed and she slowly nodded her head.
“of course- i would love to.” she whispered before taking a deep breath.
my smile now matched hers and she laid her head on my chest. i squeezed my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
“tomorrow, i’ll have to announce our relationship.” i said softly.
her head shot up.
“so soon?” she questioned. i nodded. “come, sit.”
i grabbed her hand, taking her over to the couch where wonho was waiting. i sat down, then pulled her on my lap.
“when we got back to the dorm, our manager was waiting for us.” i began.
“you guys got in trouble, oh my god.” misun covered her face with her hands.
“babe- everything will be fine. i promise.” i said taking her hands. i gently placed a kiss on her knuckles and laced our fingers.
“someone took a picture of you and i, kissing.” i said rubbing her hand with my thumb. “that’s why, this all has to be so soon.”
i gave her a minute to process everything. for a moment, it looked like she was trying to solve a really hard math problem. she finally sighed and stood to her feet, releasing her hands from mine.
“okay.” she said nodding. “okay?” i shot back in questioning.
misun made her way back to the kitchen and i watched her for a moment before following her. she turned off the tea, grabbing three cups. as she poured, i held her waist.
“i know this is all so sudden. its okay to feel scared, misun.” i said softly. “it’s normal.”
she was quiet for a moment.
“fine- im terrified.” she said finally, slamming her hands on the counter.
i looked over at wonho, who got the hint about excusing himself. he silently made his way to the balcony and shut the door.
i exhaled and turned her body around to face me.
“i will not let anyone, hurt you or nori.” i cupped her cheeks and looked down at her. “you guys will always be protected. i know this is a big title for you and everything is happening so quickly- but i got you.”
i flashed her a reassuring smile and she shut her eyes.
“what am i going to do about my job?” she whispered. “i wont be able to work there anymore after all this is released.”
i thought for a moment.
“you could just let me take care of you.” i said tilting my head and chuckling a bit.
i knew that wasnt going to work for her though. she was strong, and independent. she didnt need me to take care of her. even though, i wanted nothing more- than to do so.
she folded her arms across her chest. “i dont need you to take care of me, shownu. im a grown woman.”
i laughed.
“i know, babe- at least let me take care of you- until you find something else that you wanna do. deal?” i said backing up a little extending my hand.
she glanced down at my fingers then back at me, before shaking my hand.
`nori
wrapping a towel around my body, i exhaled deeply and smiled to myself a bit. that bath was really needed. it calmed me, and put me in a better place to think.
gathering my clothes, i exited the bathroom. shutting the door behind me- i noticed shownu and misun in the kitchen. “oh, hi.” i said tightening my towel, embarrassed.
shownu turned his head and chuckled before covering his eyes with his hands. “hi, nori.”
“sorry.” i said slightly laughing. i ran off to my room and shut the door behind me.
i quickly dried off my body, putting my bra back on- then covered myself with the hotel robe. i tied it loosely around my waist as i walked over to the windows, taking in the view. as i turned my head, i noticed wonho- standing by himself on the balcony, slightly leaning on the railing. i smiled while i watched him. he almost looked like he was at complete peace. i gently knocked on the window, making him turn his head in my direction. i instantly noticed the bandage on his nose and frowned. i waved and so did he.
i held up my index finger, signaling him to wait for a moment and he nodded. i released my hair from its bun and fluffed it a little before sliding on the complementary slippers- making my way out towards the balcony.
as i shut the sliding door, the night wind tossed my curls off my shoulder.
“hi.” i said weakly. wonho opened his arms, where i felt more than welcomed. i hugged him for a bit and he slowly rubbed my back. his chest was very muscular. it felt different from hugging jooheon. he was warm and the smell of his cologne was soft, but strong. it made me smile.
as i pulled away, i examined his face. he must have been a mind-reader, cause he instantly started laughing.
“it doesnt hurt. it looks a lot worse then it is.”
how could he be so happy, right now? his member- who’s supposed to be like a brother to him, clearly broke his nose. not to mention, busted his lip.
i sighed and looked down.
“im so very sorry for all of this. its all my fault.” i said walking up to the railing. i looked out towards the city- wondering what jooheon was thinking about, right now.
“it’s really not. you didnt do anything.” he said joining me. wonho stood so close to me, that i could feel the heat coming from his body.
“i just dont understand how we got here, ya know?” i said looking at him. his eyes were already on me and he was chuckling.
“what’s so funny?” i said turning my body in his direction. he looked out towards the view and shrugged.
“i guess im just having a hard time comprehending why you picked jooheon- out of all people?”
his eyes met mine, once again- and i almost got lost for a second.
`wonho
nori was quiet for a moment. her eyes never left mine though. i wanted to be honest with her- tell her what i was really thinking, in this exact moment.
“i just think you deserve better, thats all.” i said confidently.
a small laugh released from her throat.
“if i didnt know any better, i would say you’re trying to flirt with me- mr. hoseok.” she said folding her arms across her chest.
“you’re the one who came out here with a robe on. if i didnt know any better, i’d say that you’re trying to seduce me.” i stood up straight, looking down at her and lifted my brows.
she snickered and rolled her eyes, playfully.
“it’s the only thing i have right now.”
she pushed my shoulder back and i laughed. it felt good to see her smile. havent see it in awhile.
“here- i’m sure this would do a better job of keeping you warm tonight, anyway.” i grabbed the bottom of my hoodie, lifting it over my head- slightly exposing my abs on purpose. i playfully tossed the garment on her head and she laughed.
pulling at the sleeves, it fell in her hand and her smile faded.
“i dont think i should take this.” she admitted. i tilted my head a bit.
“im not sure if its respectful to jooheon.” she looked up at me, with sadness in her eyes.
“it’s not like im giving you a ring and asking you to marry me.” i chuckled. “besides, being respectful- is the last thing on jooheon’s mind when it comes to you. so i dont think you should worry about any of that.” i leaned my back against the railing. “its just a hoode.”
“im not accepting a no from you, nori. just take it.”
she shut her eyes for a moment then nodded.
`nori
the weather changed very quickly from the time i shut my eyes, back to opening them. the sky became darker and we could smell the rain.
“we should go back inside.” wonho said softly.
he placed his palm on the small of my back, as i walked into the suit, him following behind me.
shownu and misun were still in the kitchen talking, as we approached them.
“well, its been a very long night- to say the least. i think im just gunna go to bed now.” i said sighing. misun nodded and made her way over to me, giving me a hug. “goodnight, i love you.” she said squeezing me. “i love you too!”
i said goodbye to shownu and hugged wonho, then made my way to my bedroom.
later that night
i laid in bed as the rain drops hit the window hard. i was tucked under the sheets, in wonho’s sweater. i did feel a little awkward, i must admit. i didnt have on any underwear. i defiantly wasnt going to put the liquor stained ones on, and i was in the room by myself.
thats okay right?
thunder crashed through the sky and i jumped, throwing the blanket over my head.
god, i hated weather like this. i really hated being alone at times like these.
i didnt wanna wake misun- im pretty sure she was exhausted. i slowly removed the blanket from my head and sighed. my stomach instantly started growling. i groaned and sat up.
“but theres no food here.” i said talking to myself. i glanced over at the clock.
2:48am
room service is defiantly out of the question. getting up from the bed, i glanced at my clothes on the floor. i scrunched up my face and pouted at the thought of putting last nights underwear on.
it’s fine- im sure wonho and shownu were long gone. its just misun and i- plus, i wont even show my body when i speak to the guard at the door, when i ask him to send someone for food.
i slipped on the underwear, instantly regretting it- as the smell of liquor took over my nose. as i opened the door slowly, i peaked out into the dark hallway.
making my way through, i stopped in the kitchen to double check the fridge.
“cant sleep either?”
i jumped, slamming the fridge shut and looked out into the living room.
wonho was sitting on the couch, smiling over at me.
“what are you still doing here?” i said pulling down his sweatshirt. it hit me just before my thighs, so i felt really exposed.
“oh, uh- shownu didnt tell you that we were staying?” he asked. i shook my head.
“you scared me.” i said breathing a little heavy. my heart was beating fast and i placed my palm over my chest.
he flashed a smile as he got off the couch.
“im sorry- i didnt mean to.” he slipped his hands in his pockets and lifted his brows. “you hungry?” he questioned.
“uh- just a little..” i said trying to hide behind the counter. he laughed at my actions.
“you dont have to hide. i know how to control myself, nori.”
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‘A Non-Linear Perspective’, aka ya girl’s latest Qcard drabble
My new friend @tolstoyevskywrites requested a little thing last week, which I haven’t gotten round to quite yet (my baaaad), which runs a little like so:
Can I have a drabble where someone else in the crew finds out that Q and Picard are together? It can be Riker, Troi, Data, whoever you want xD
... Well, we all know I can’t answer a prompt like a normal human being at this point, right? Welcome to the madhouse, Tol - make yourself an Earl Grey, chuck, and strap in, won’t you? Because this is absolutely fucking ridiculous and I’m slightly in love with it. xD
It’s blissfully quiet, aboard this curious vessel she calls home.
It’s blissfully quiet, aboard this curious vessel she calls home. Radio silence broadcasts smoothly across the airwaves, delightfully absent of the orchestrated panic of its chief engineer; no one appears to be streaking through the outer corridors, their pointless existences in jeopardy; it’s perfectly still, not even the most microscopic of shudders trembling through the mainframe (that damned hum that her acquaintances seem so ignorant of persists, but she’s long since gotten used to that – it’s no barrier to a restful slumber). Even if her favoured person returns (time means nothing, ultimately – how long has he been gone? She doubts it’s quite long enough, in any case), he will be respectful of her weariness – after all, it’s incredibly difficult work doing so little, and there’s a reason why she so kindly tolerates him.
No, this is a rare experience indeed, and one she fully intends to appreciate. She stretches, lithe form extending itself completely for a moment, before she circles and settles, quite contentedly, atop the fleecy blanket of the bed. Its scent is mildly synthetic, accompanied by the faintest whiff of whatever was on that garish portrait across the bedroom. She closes her eyes rather deliberately against its offensiveness – honestly, all that effort for something so meaningless. Did it offer food? Entertainment? Strokes? Even the one depicted in it had seemed reluctant to praise its virtues.
She tucks into herself, drifting steadily off, the absolute tranquillity and joyful warmth permeating her completely. Perhaps she’ll dream of forests, or of crawling through Jeffries tubes, an exploratory mission of epic proportions; there’ll be mice in there somewhere, she just knows it –
Her eyes wrench open seconds before the oblivion she so craves, an obnoxious, echo-y sort of sound alerting her sensitive ears to something that appears to have been accompanied by an equally excessive flash –
She’s almost retroactively aware that she’s no longer cocooned by cosiness, and she levels her most malevolent glare and harshest snarl at the intruders as she recovers from being shoved so callously aside – how dare they, the human scum –
They’re desperately attached, mostly without clothing, scents permeating the perfectly pleasant air with biological pollution – supplement forty-six, how she hates them both! One of them wrenches back from the other, and she blinks curiously through a burning abhorrence – she knows that one. Her favourite respects him greatly – he’s important, somehow, though perfectly ordinary in appearance and aroma.
She’ll be damned to a hell of boisterous Dalmatians before she’ll defer to him, the utter bastard.
“Q!” He demands hotly. “Where the hell are we?!”
The other is significantly less tolerant of the distraction, apparently; she empathises entirely, although… she’s never seen him, but his scent – he’s not of this ship. She isn’t sure he’s of this galaxy; he smells not of confined conduits, or stress, or anything that she’s ever smelled upon another living soul. She understands these things, far better than the limited humanoids she occupies a space with, and it leads her to only one conclusion.
This is his fault. She fixes into a battle stance, glad of an official focus for her towering rage – she’s one against two, but one with one hell of a set of claws.
“Does it damned well matter, Jean-Luc? I’m slightly preoccupied – I’m sure you can empathise!” Her offender replies urgently, attempting to re-engage his companion – by the kingdom of rodents, this is more intolerable than her favourite and that other one! At least they feed her!
She flatly refuses to be ignored – grace befitting her position of superiority, she jumps back upon her rightful throne, claws itching to be extended into the neck of her usurper, glare toxic. The respected one turns to glance at her, and she releases a warning hiss for his troubles.
“Dear god,” he murmurs, eyes wide with horror. “We’re in Data and Geordi’s – what are we doing here, dammit?! Q!”
The evil one raises a brow, expression sheepish as he meets the venom of his newfound enemy; he’ll be fortunate if he has an expression left when she’s through with him.
“Ah,” he notes wryly, “I… may have been looking for a source of apathy, subconsciously. You’re rather overwhelming, mon capitan, and I imagine you’re quite partial to your galactic locality remaining intact.”
The important one’s eyes soften, much to her disgust.
“And there can be no greater apathy than a cat,” he finishes, amused. “A universal constant, apparently.”
“Oh, you’re about to discover exactly how apathetic I can be, humanoid wretch!”
She launches with planned spontaneity, at the most calculated moment, when the atrocity of a man will least expect it – he will pay, dearly, for his disturbance of her precious rest. She’s inches from his chest, claws extended fully, her very blood singing with the need for vengeance –
“Yes, no.”
The dismissive snap of his tone is followed swiftly by one from his fingers, and she never reaches her target. She’s left in situ, dangling precariously, the hateful gaze she’s directing at him returned almost as fiercely.
“I know you think you’re one, dear feline,” he spits, “but I actually am a god.”
“Q, let her go,” the other bites out coolly. He goes to protest, but thinks better of it; she’s released from the mystical prison of stillness, and she hisses bitterly for good measure.
“I will have my vengeance.” Her meow is pure rage as she realises she’s once again off the damned bed.
“Of course you will,” he drawls at her, unconcerned. “I trust you’ll keep your own counsel, furbag.”
Furbag?! The utter nerve! Her favourite had told her only earlier how pretty she was! Her grooming routine put felines the quadrant over to shame, the despicable –
“She’s hardly going to plough us through the ship’s gossip mill, Q,” the important one comments dryly, facing his companion with softness. “I assume you’ll be more cautious where you direct your apathy in future, however?”
She takes a moment from her current schedule of comprehensive incandescence to marvel at how the face of evil can look so warm.
“I shall endeavour to be a paragon of subtlety, my dear.”
They’re there one second, and she’s almost wrapped up her plan of sweet, sweet revenge; she’s sneaking cautiously, the very image of stealth, around the smooth fabric of the bedding, her movements gloriously quiet – he’ll rue every damned word –
She arrives back on the duvet just as they vanish with that same stupid noise and blinding flash, and she shrieks a hiss of pure fury.
“I’m telling everyone, you wait!” She screams. “Your empires shall crumble beneath my wrath!”
She flops, outraged, to the covering, starting at the sudden weight to her left; she flips up instantly, high on alert, and sniffs curiously.
… Oh. That’s supplement seventy-three, the one her favourite’s never quite managed to synthesise properly since that first wondrous occasion. Its aroma is divine, though the most intriguing snatch of eternity glimmers around it. Deciding to obey the will of her stomach rather than her natural caution, she tucks in with gusto, devouring it as though the soul of the victim that’s maddeningly disappeared.
She’ll get the bastard, one day – however delicious his pitiful offering was.
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vent poetry
anger issue stuff/vindictive fantasies due to cptsd regarding abuser
trigger warning for violence & gore I guess
_
Youve been hanging around for a while now,
its been some years since you raped me
Its been some years since you begged me not to leave you
since you asked me “Do you really want to throw all we are away over this?”
right in the same day that you raped me
And I hoped id never see your face again
after I cut you out of my life
and I tried to heal
but you wouldnt leave me alone
Dragged you inside my mind to school
cuz you stalked me outside my house
always in presence, moved on my fucking street
and you dont like letting go of me
And you tore into my family, but yknow
they already hated me cuz they didnt wanna believe my dad sexually abused me
they already desperately wanted to call me a liar for sure,
all to keep their blissfull facade of things being all fine,
they just couldnt bring it over themselves to call a 13 year old little girl a liar
right back when I cut my dad out of my life too cuz he tried to fucking rape me
that one weekend in his new flat after mom left him
Yeah youve been the chance they waited for,
if it happened more than once, surely the girl is fucking lying right?
You gave them the push they needed so they finally could set themselves free from pretending like they give a damn, so they called 16 year old me a liar,
oh and you told them you raped me on accident, oh but like
theyd have prefered it if you had that left part out
but they made do with what you gave,
I did some sorta roleplays with you, so you couldnt differniate, right?
Doesnt matter that they never asked for my version of the events,
or that you raped me out of nowhere, no sexual activity prior to it at all,
no roleplay, nothing at all,
they took it from there and came up with more excuses to explain away
how obviously traumatized I am,
my aunts husband said my mom didnt stop me from watching violent manga porn in my childhood and thats why im so fucked up now,
I have no fucking clue where he got that from, for sure,
but its quite of concerning that he knew I saw that sort of media in my childhood,
but for real, my dad was the one actively telling me to go look up this sort of porn,
after hes been showing me lolicon anime cuz he tried to groom me with it,
after he instructed me to masturbate to hentai cuz he liked watching me,
ah but whatever, they dont care abt that, do they?
Cuz they only care about the way youve came into their life
and gave them the blessing of finally getting to call me a liar out loud,
oh youve given them what they wanted, youre so buddy buddy now,
and they never wanted to question how fucking creepy it is for a guy to actively befriend the family of a girl that has claimed shes been raped by the guy,
how fucking weird it is that this girl went to a lawyer to get help cuz the guys been stalking her, and how they might be part of that stalking too,
oh but why would ever question anything? anyhow? why would they?
They even let you move in with them,
yeah why would the guy that shes accused of having raped her and stalking her wanna move in with her family after shes refused any sort of contact with him no matter how much he pushed for it?
What kind of guy would do this knowing its gonna hurt her? its gonna devastate her?
Yeah, what sort of powerhungry guy would -
hey what again is rape most of the time motivated by?
A hunger for power? A thirst for control?
Mh, I wonder -
I wonder how long you can hold your breath
wasting your life creeping on me, over your inability to get over
that I had the audacity to leave your ass after you raped me,
thinking that id just move on and not leave u for it,
oh for someone that obsessed about me for such a long time
its like you barely even knew me,
And I know I should feel like crying when I think of it
but all I feel is the shivering in my arms and legs
from the adrenaline, and the waves of rage and violent urges
that wash over me when I remember what the world let you get away with,
when I remember my pathetic family and their farce
when I remember how much of a dissapointment youve turned out to be,
You should have really known so much fucking better than that,
your own mother liked to get to close to you for comfort in your own childhood,
you know what it feels like to be preyed on, yet you continued the cycle of abuse
its pathetic,
cuz I trusted you so much, trusted you in a world where barely anybody understands what its like if a parent sexually abuses you as a child,
and you knew what its like, cuz it happened to you too,
I trusted you to want to be better than that, I trusted that you wanted to heal and recover just like me,
but boy was I wrong
You acted out on me, got triggered for sure,
but you cant heal from what you refuse to see yourself as victimized of,
you never liked accepting that what your mom did to you is really that bad,
you held me so tightly and told me youd never let me go now that you know that I wont judge you for what youve been through,
you cried in my arms that day, when we still were a couple,
and you said somewhere you know what your mom did really counted as sexual abuse
but you just cant let go of the illusion that she loves you, cant let go of the illusion that it wasnt even that bad, that it didnt count cuz only women can get victimized
but that it feels so good to finally get to feel vulnerable,
and youd never let go of me,
and you do everything to make sure what happened to me never repeats
few months later you raped me’
and now youre crying out loud
for gods sake just leave me the fuck alone,
I cant cope with the amount of urges to murder you I get,
but sadly enough I know thats sorta what youre getting at here,
I know deep inside you just hope I snap and kill you
cuz you cant get what you did out of you, cant get what she did to you out of you
and now youre turning it around on me, and you hate me so vehemently
hate me for leaving you, hate me for having been kind to you before,
yeah, hate me cuz you cant have me, hate me cause you hate yourself,
hate me cause youd like to end your miserable life
cuz you know you cant take back what you did,
well ive no sympathy for you
You can beg, and you can threaten
and all I do is fantasize about gutting you like a fish,
I wanna cut the skin on your back open and unfold it
so you can be the angel youve always wanted to be,
I wanna stitch that lying mouth of yours shut,
I wanna break all your fingers so you regret having ever touched me with them in those ways,
I want to step on your body as its bleeding out,
I wanna crush your bones with heavy shoes,
I wanna hear you break like you tried to break me that day,
I wanna stuff your throat full of white feathers so you can know what it felt like to be called “purity in person” too, try coughing up how you really feel,
Id like to see you try,
put you on a pedastal like you put me with a noose round your neck
so you can know how graceful this fall is’
Purity isnt something you can steal,
you shouldnt have tried to from me,
Purity is something thats not as real as people pretend it is,
the childhood innocence you miss, you should admit to why you feel that way,
but im out of patience to give advice, youll only obsess over, like you used to,
Im saying it now, the only fantasies ive got with you anymore
are those in which I torture and kill you
for every day you overstayed, for every day you sabotaged me and my life,
when you came into my life, and when you left me bruised and more broken than ive ever been before,
sabotaged the way I tried to go to school and graduate,
stalking me like you did,
I tried my best to succeed in life even as you kept trying to drag me down,
I kept going anyway, and I did good in my own way,
I kept going slower, slower, slower, but I still went my way
you could slow me down, but you could never get me to stop
never get me to give up,
This is one hell of a sick game youve been playing with me,
why cant you just accept it?
You raped me and theres no second chance after that,
You can deny it, try to act like you didnt,
but I know you hate yourself for it,
dont make it my issue, it makes me so sick
when you think I could ever feel anything more for you at this point,
more than the urge to grab a knife and slice your throat
just to finally put an end to this, an end to this
you and me havent been a thing since we’ve been sixteen,
but you feel me with such violent shine when my mind goes dark
cuz youve been trying to trap me in my own room full of fear
cuz you keep reminding me of the way you raped me,
oh and I feel like a tiger in a cage, like a tiger in a cage
and im about to rip you open with my teeth,
But theyd never understand the amount of damage youve dealt to me, would they?
Id be the “bad one”
So why dont you do me a favour and just kill yourself?
You keep clinging to a possible future you had envisioned with me,
but I never agreed to that, I always told you if you do something that hurts me, ill leave ya’
and you didnt even think id really do it,
I promised you to stay with you for life unless you do something thatll hurt me real bad,
you promised you never would,
looks like you broke our promise
and yet your the one crying out loud
feeling the need to make me feel just how angry you are
cuz I had the audacity
not to stay in an relationship with my rapist
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Episode 1A - “The Hufflepuffs are too nice even for me”-Ruthie
This is not the tribe I would have picked. I do not know anyone here which means I am at a disadvantage from the start. However, I am really connecting with Jules right now so maybe I can vibe with them enough to get an immediate ally. But I still need someone else. I am still figuring out my tribe so it will take me a hot minute to adjust. I hope I am not the first boot. I am going to pull my weight in this challenge and pull my first W ever!
I'm fucked, Jess knows how i play bc she literally just hosted me for Old west like a month ago. Whoops. Also joanna is in a competely different house than be so I'm crying. So far I do like my other housemates but we'll see how much of a slytherin they truly are as the days go by.
why. does. this. cast. have. to. be. full. of. icons. i'm really not that good at survivor?? hopefully i do okay??? just tryna be social and shit. (also Ravenclaw is the best)
I’m heading to bed and the boys are about to have a call... I hope an all boys alliance isn’t about to form I’m not here for that! So far I’ve just talked to Kevin and Lily one on one and so far I really like both of them! I’m going to get to know the others tomorrow. This cast is so iconic. I talked to Owen before I read that we weren’t supposed to and he and I are going to go to final two together if neither of us get voted out!
i am SO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE ANY INITIAL GOOD VIBES ABOUT ANYONE ON MY TRIBE!!!!!! NOT A PERSON!!!!!!!! AND I DONT WANT TO BE THAT ANNOYING BITCH ASKING THEM QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR LIVES!!!! AND SHIT!!!!!!!!! ugh i dont want to be first boot EITHER LIKE!!!!!!! ugh. uGH.
Me and Jules are literally kindred souls. I love her so much already and she is my ride or die for the rest of the season. Fuck these other bitches!
youtube
Why do I feel like I am the only one putting in effort for this challenge. At least this means I will be safe for a hot minute, right?
Okay so... Max and Landen still haven't accepted my friend request I noticed when I just tried to message them. I'm still talking to Kevin and Lily A LOT! Kevin is so easy to talk to and Lily is too and she and I have SO much in common! I really like the idea of aligning with the two of them but I'm too nervous to suggest it just yet.
Also, my wand was special and I got a special idol hunt out of it! I didn't find anything but still! I'm glad that I at least got one word?? Not sure if our team will win a reward or not but it would be nice!
Honestly, my tribe seems to be particularly inactive and nonchalant. I am the most active person here, in my opinion. It is kind of frustrating, however, to be the only one trying in this challenge except for the very few and far between exceptions. Joshua even forgot about the challenge entirely! I hope to God that these people, if we have to go to tribal because we lose the immunity challenge, do not vote me out. Honestly, it would make no sense since I am already proving that I will be a challenge asset and very active. I would make the best ally out of everyone on my tribe! I would be allies with myself!
I LOVE YOU OWEN BUT PLEASE GO SUCK A DICK. You need to stop. Wth, go back to school so we can get some points. You too Kevin DX But we're in the lead so far *knock on wood* and hopefully stay that way. Love Jess and I hope I can take her to like f4 but I think I want to take Joanna and Owen to f3 if I even make it that far
This cast.... WHOA!!!! feel like yall had to put some of these ppl under imperius curse to get them back because I havent seen these faces in a WHILE!!!! Ruthie is a queen, first thing we messaged to each other was f2 <333 love her but dont trust that she wont turn on me at some point lol. Raffy my little island of shade bro, and Autumn <3 crossroads queen.... nice to see some of my children back here. I'm glad Jess is in the game because I like her a lot but I did just disappoint her in eve's challenge game so...we will see. but i love jess regardless :) ummmm... so happy I was sorted onto the brain tribe, then immediately proceeded to fuck up several times in the spelling challenge LOL
My tribe is nice though. I'm glad I'm with Dan - we have a weird history in games, but we've both been here for 7/8 years at this point and our ancient bones will prob work together. I already think him and Jules are going to be my alliance on this tribe <3 jules is AMAZING but I can tell they (? is this correct pronouns i dont remember and it wasnt in the posts) are a social legend and are going to be on EVERYONE's good side. love them though already, we have a lot in common and it was easier to talk to them + also get into a bit of game chat.
Joanna and Miguel....not so much. I like them both fine, but they don't know how to converse. I asked them all a shit ton of questions and they didn't ask a SINGLE thing back???? Like...okay work! I can't do it all for you, give me somethin!!!! I do like them both, it's just....they don't give a shit about me! LOL
Miguel is also an awkward one because I played with him LEGIT five years ago or more, in a game where we were on opposite sides. I'd rather work with him based on that connection than not but...apparently he already told Jules that we were against each other before??? and he's barely spoken to me so whatever. I like him, he's cute and he's funny, but.... if he's telling people more about me than he's willing to even get out of me myself, it's a no from me :)
WOOHOOOO WE WON REWARD!! I DIDN'T REALLY HELP (i tried but with no success) BUT I'M STILL REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT! THANK GOD FOR OWEN
Well it’s day 2, we just lost reward but Immunity is still up for grabs!! Hopefully it’s something we can excell it but 👀 a bitch don’t have many skills so we gon have to see on that one! Other than that we got to know our tribe mates, I have a really good tribe! First off there is Ruthie who I played an old season of TS with and I worked with her BUT also voted her out :c so maybe we can work together and look past that? She was a really good ally of mine but it didn’t work out. I’ve loved talking to her again tho <3 then there is Lily! A new person to me but I absolutely adore her I love her energy she’s so talkative our conversations have been really good! If I had it my way I would work with her in this game, but I don’t want to force anything so I’m not gonna bring that up to her this early. Then there is landen another familiar face to me, I played also a TS season with him, and we had a rocky relationship in that game, not really do in part to either of us just how the cards fell. I did NOT vote him out but we didn’t end our game relationship on the best terms. He seems the least eager to want to talk to me which is not a good sign bc I remember him being so outgoing in 2020 and that energy not being matched here worries me. He also addressed me as “mr. 2020 winner” in our first talk so <3 maybe he might target me <3 thays so fun <3 lastly there is MAX! Max is fun, kinda loud but in a good way, he wasn’t all that helpful in the challenge for reward (him nor landen were all that active) and we had a good first conversation and then it’s seemingly gone downhill? I still have to see if our momentum picks back up before I decide what my plans with him are, i wouldn’t mind working with him if possible but he is also fairly close to landen (apparent after an over 2 hour long call last night.. IN THE TRIBE CHAT) so if landen has a distaste for me he’ll definitely spread that to max if he has the choice, so I gotta tread carefully but only time will tell how I end up fairing on this tribe :o WISH ME LUCK
It is second day of school and I already hate everyone. It seems that I actually went back to Junior high where everyone's playing PENIS on the great hall. I forgot how it felt to play with teenagers and I'm not here for it. I think I'll be a true ravenclaw and isolate myself reading a book or learning new spells cause I don't have many interests in common with these people. On a side note I'm really happy to be a Ravenclaw, and I actually like our team, I think we are strong and I hope I'm not in danger if we do lose, I'll try to work on my foreigner charm and start faking even more my mexican accent if that's what I need to do in order to stay, Jules is amazing, loved her and I hope we can work well together. Also I love the whole castle idol hunt idea , so... charming.
First things first... this cast is... BONKERS. I didn't expect it to be as stacked as it is..
I'm scared.
I hate it here.
There are sooo many weird relationships here which is kind of a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing about it is... I THINK that means some people got beef and I can maybe piggy back off of some of these relationships... IDK I'm not trying to think too deep into anything right now.
BUT... y'all put me on a tribe with someone who just single handily put me out of a game TWO FUCKING DAYS AGO and I'd like to complain to your MANAGERS @hosts.
In all seriousness I'm going to try and have fun in this game and not take it entirely tooo seriously.
ALSO.. my fucking wand gave me the option for a "quest" yesterday but it'd have to remove me from the tribe chat... so obviously... I gave the quest to someone else. Aka: Jacob.. who I knew would be a selfish bitch and take the quest. I also knew the likelihood of him telling me about what actually happened were high and I'd virtually get no weird looks my way because I WASN'T the one who was removed from the tribe chat. This basically ensured that I got to know what the quest was, its potential contents, and paint a target on someone else rather than myself in case there was virtually nothing to base the first couple of votes on... right?
I think I'm onto something with the idol guesses. There's weird storylines in them and I THINK if I can somehow get to the green house and find the other ingredients that were in Snape's writing I'll be onto something.
Also me and Jacob snapped in that Reward challenge and these HEATHENS should thank us for single-handily giving them a reward. Nick randomly slept all god damn day.. which really annoyed me. We have a reward and you are gonna SLEEP ALL DAY? SIR? I get real life happens but at least hide the fact you sleeping sis.
My tribe is literally probably the LAST TRIBE I wanted to end up on because well.. 1. Nick is shady and social. He might take the fact that I was loyal to people in the other game into account. I've tried the whole "I start off each game fresh and no hard feelings" spell but will he accept it? Tune in folks. I also technically can't explain my actions in the game to him because he is currently still in it so... PARTY!
2. Jacob is amazing and I love him. We've actually played several games together and weirdly always end up super loyal to people. He's a crackhead though so I'm gonna have to be a BIT cautious with him. I sipped dumb bitch juice and told him about Snape's writing because I want to show him some sort of token of loyalty.
3. Vi is a crackhead. I know this because I've hosted her. Kind of wanna fuck around and give her first boot from the tribe because I DO NOT TRUST HER. When she gets bored, she fucks things up, she lies for fun, and well... no.
4. Jessie seems really sweet so far. We haven't really spoken much which kind of sucks but we will get there!? I think?
I think some may have found something, because I just idol searched and I the exact same path I did yesterday, and yesterday there were three different choices and today there were only two. The only reason I could think of why one of the ending options were removed is that something was there and something was found...
12 minutes later
turns out it was a mistake, never mind
Okay it is challenge time and Max is around I think and Lily is finishing a class but KEVIN AND LANDEN ARE LATE, they are delinquents I expect more from Hufflepuffs than this tardiness.
I'm definitely kidding but... may not be able to be around for the entire challenge if they don't hurry the heck up. Part of me wants to start but I don't want this to be on me if we don't do well. OH Kevin just messaged me so at least another tribe member is on... WHY is he not messaging the tribe chat?? OH Lily is on now so I should stop writing and get to business... WISH us cute little badgers luck!
I'm definitely kidding but... may not be able to be around for the entire challenge if they don't hurry the heck up. Part of me wants to start but I don't want this to be on me if we don't do well. OH Kevin just messaged me so at least another tribe member is on... WHY is he not messaging the tribe chat?? OH Lily is on now so I should stop writing and get to business... WISH us cute little badgers luck!
20 minutes later
been doing this challenge for over an hour, i feel defeated
If this wasn't a team work thing I would be done by now these people are slowing me down. x_x. DLSJFSLDFJ I shouldn't complain. They all have good ideas but it takes FOREVER to agree on something. Also I do feel like an asset to the hufflepuff tribe because when I was eating lunch with my family Lily messaged me and told me I was the glue holding the tribe together and she wished I was back and that made me feel VERY good about my place on the tribe!
But seriously I'm just ready for the challenge to be over so low key I hope that Max stops responding for awhile again so I can just say random shit until we finish the dang thing LSDJFLSJDF.
The Hufflepuffs are too nice even for me.
That challenge went terribly. In all honesty, I would not blame my tribe for wanting to take me out because I took up the leadership role. But it was not like anyone else was taking the reigns so I needed to do something. I just hope they can see the merits of keeping me in this game. I really don't want to be first boot. I think we're going to have to go to tribal because we we took so long. God this is going to be so frustrating.
This challenge is NEVER going to end I'm trying to be patient but Max always interjects with something and it SLOWS EVERYTHING DOWN FOR TEN MINUTES. OR MORE. I just have this window open to complain, lol, I won't send this for awhile. LOL Max is killing me. All the boys are exhausting I don't think they have been paying any attention to the notes I have been making, if we go to tribal council Lily and I SHOULD be safe.
OKAY it was fun that everyone just joined in in the end but I'm so glad that it is over and I hope that we won this thing and are safe!
me: im gonna be sneaky and not tell my alliance ALL the info i have also me: tells them info i couldnt possibly know without telling them ALL the info i have anyways.
https://youtu.be/qhfHo_Ns1xQ
Living my dream as a huff puff, no big deal. So far I’m really enjoying being on my tribe. We all communicate well and have positive attitudes about things. We also had so much fun at the immunity challenge but I can tell we are all stressed about the results. I’m really impressed by everyone this season being involved and I could tell people were on their A game during the reward challenge. I would really hate to see us as the bottom tribe having to go to tribal. I honestly don’t want to see any of these people go but I certainly don’t want to be first boot. I’m really proud of our tribe and I would hate to have a loss right now put a crack in the friendships we have been building.
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You: no one asked for another one of these
Me: yeah i know sorry i just have a lot of emotions and shit lately
(Haha thats a lie all i feel lately is annoyed and pain)
Anyway yes I’m going to complain more about life cause i have some emotions i need to get out and shit. Okay I’m very much a night owl, I have been my whole life, I work better t night and just love the night sky and shit. However 8th grade I was really, super, hella depressed cause of family stuff and school and being totally alone and you know the depression (thanks genes!), so I’d be absolutely TERRIFIED to be left alone with my thoughts. I’d stay up all night on youtube or some cringey website or on tumblr just so I didn’t have to lay in bed and think. Also very closeted, very depressed baby Alex had no idea wtf a healthy coping mechanism was, so I cut and it was bad like an every night thing cause after I did I was suddenly really tired and could almost sleep instantly once it hit like 2-3 am. Anyway I fucked my sleeping schedule up at a very young age, so that habit never left and the earliest I go to bed anymore is 12-12:30, whatever im used to it, not good for me but whatever. Then summer started and I didn’t sleep till like 1am-2am so I chalked it up to “it’s summer whatever”, but then it was 2 am-3am and I thought that was a one time thing, but nope. Now (as in the past week/week and a half ish) I’m lucky to get 2-3 hours of sleep and even then I’m up at like 9 am. As you can imagine this has lead to a good amount of problems, but first one additional thing. Now it’s just me and my mom at our house, but because of hour cuts and paying for school and catching up on bills and other shit we don’t really have a ton of money which means we don’t have a ton of food which means what we have we have to make last. With that being said back track to me getting 2-3 hours of sleep, now my body’s tired and I’m exhausted I just wont go to fucking sleep, but I’m hungry as hell. We didn’t have cereal and milk for awhile, so that left me with pasta like I said I’m exhausted so pasta involves cooking, but I couldn’t do it. I knew I’d be too tired half way through the water boiling to finish let alone eat anything. Also cause we don’t have a ton of money I’d get 2 free meals a day in school so I wouldn’t go a whole day (or week) without eating real food (i mean it was gross government food but it got the job done), but in summer I didn’t get that so I just havent eaten really all summer like i could probably count on my hands how many actual meals ive eaten all summer. So the not eating mixed with the not sleepings fucking awful as you can imagine.I had a headache so bad I had to close my curtains put on sunglasses cover my head with a blanket and put my ice on my head in an attempt to help ease the pain, but WAIT THERES MORE. Every bone in my body constantly feels like it needs to crack and im just constantly really achey (idk if that has to do anything but it hurts like hell) Ive tried stretching and resting but it doesnt help, BUT THERES EVEN MORE!! The not eating!! I can feel my stomach being totally empty besides some water and that shit fucking hurts (idk how baby Alex did that shit) AND A FINAL THING your boy was born with god awful child bearing parts and guess what came up?! That’s right devil week so i feel like someones just stabbing me with a pitchfork while also trying to eject food thats not there. Therefore the past few nights Ive basically been clutching my stomach and head, the heating pad isnt helping, and pain killers arent helping much.
At this point youre probably like “dude just some nyquil” which yeah youre right i should but we didnt have extra money this week to buy any and we dont have any so thats why i didnt do that. Also like I said before I /am/ tired, im really fucking tired and i dont really have thoughts its more like fast and loud static and like energy i have to get out or i get uncomfortable, so the past few nights (last night was really bad) Im up clutching and rocking and snapping and tapping my feet just trying to get rid of that energy. It comes a little bit in the day i was talking to a friend and typing so fucking fast while also thinking about some oc idea and then BAM no energy at fucking all like i had to lay down. This also leads into ive been trying to read out loud to myself so i can try to get my voice lower cause my voice bothers the hell out of me, but i cant focus for longer than like 5 minutes cause of loud static and extra energy and being tired and my eyes being tired so its really frustrating.
The thing is i go to a psychiatrist for my meds and what she told me (idk if this is true everywhere or just how she is) that i had like textbook bipolar but becaue at the time i was ike 14/15 they didnt want to diagnose it cause i was still young. Bipolar runs in my family, just like depression and anxiety, so i wasnt super suprised by that and as i got older i got less scared (theres nothing scary about people with bipolar btw i just didnt know what to expect or think cause of how i saw it in like movies and stuff) i thought maybe i wasnt and i just had highs and lows like everyone else, but looking back i can see that the highs and lows were really extreme and like i said before i was super suicidal last year and just kinda gave up and earlier this summer it took a lot of energy to do anything, but this isnt like doing reckless things kinda high like it normally is and it fucking suck ass guys. On top of that my ever so supporting lately mother was like “look up manic episodes” so i told her i know what it is but she just pushed to look it up so i did and of course i made a joke about increased sexual activity (which my virgin is not) and looked like yes i know. (side note dw too much im going to the doctors tomorrow and im gonna see what i can do about my meds and stuff).
So yeah sorry for another shitty life update (not including tons of dysphoria, isolation, and more self hate but whatevs)
#personal#tw suicide mention#tw self harm#i also mention not eating but it wasnt/isnt like an ed#i dont think so anyway#its mostly me talking about my mental health and being in pain almost always#sorry for another one of these#honestly i might start posting one once a week to get some shit out
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Episode #6: "My brain does not math at this hour. Stay tuned." - Sharky
I'm so sad. Everything worked out just like we thought it would but it's still not what I wanted. Charlie went home and he was actually a really good ally. I feel like I maybe could have done more to try and save him but then I would have lost other allies.
OKAY. LET'S. DISH. This swap also worked out really freakin well for me. My #1 Brian is still with me by my side. I was reunited with Dennis who is part of Four of a Kind, plus he is a challenge BEAST. Nick actually thinks I voted to save him which is not the case but made me looks like such a good ally to him, so I had to do 0 damage control. And I'm finally on a tribe with Matt who I've been wanting to work with. This is actually the best case scenario.
Welp. I knew something was happening but a swap wasnt it. Lucky i talked to Bryce earlier so he has my back. We also have Keaton and Marie but we have to see where their heads at. Nate is talking to me and right now i really like his vibe. Annebelle i havent had a chance to but wasnt able to make it so idk if they’ll be here. Hopefully we can win immunity tonight.
So we swapped. Again. AND I AM THE ONLY FUCKING OG MADIGAN ON MY TRIBE. THIS IS SOME BS. James the lil'bitch had to fucking quit over a fucking flash game so we could have MERGED but NO! I see how it is. At least I have Dennis and Brian (who i would literally DIE for) and nicole as well! Sharky is an FB ORG legend so im looking forward to getting to know him. Nick already seems dry asf so yay? Like I think I can blend in quickly with this tribe, but I am still nervous about what would happen if we merge. IDK if the FBers (its weird to me how im considered one now LOL) will team up or whether we will wither and die and I have to pull out my idol (yah i still have some sanity!) WOO TIME TO CRY AT ENDURANCE
ok well we swapped and im kind of loving it but not. like i love that maynor and nathan are here. but so is kirby! so! i miss dennis and brian seems like a legend so i wanted to play with him but oh well maybe merge if i survive! its awk this live challenge bc marie prob wont be doing it like even during the good times for her timezone KJHFADKSJDF. but! ugh dennis is gonna slay this so sad i have a good sleep schedule yikes. its fun that nicole is on the other tribe hopefully that evens it out for us having marie. annabelle hasnt spoken to me yet either so. hmmm.... maynor wants to work with me so thats GREAT love him wooh!!!
Okay we are actually working really well as a tribe on this challenge. No shade to my previous tribes but I haven't seen this much teamwork in a challenge yet this season. Feels good.
This swap was really good for me i think. And I had 2 swaps today and I was going crazy. I have now Bryce and Keaton both wanting to work with me which is good because now we atleast can make it a tie if the others dont want to work with us. I really like Nate so Im going to try and see where he’s heads at. Marie doesnt talk much and is offline. And starting to talk to Anna. I dont think we are going to win this immunity.
Matt is great. End of story.
3:51 am. Dennis, Matt, and I have really stayed up to pull this challenge together. And we are so close. This would give Brian and I a much needed break from tribal council and considering I can see myself working with all of these players I'd rather us win so I can have as many options as possible when we merge. I just need to stay up for another hour or so to get this done. Matt and Dennis have already stayed up all night to get it done. Also though in the back of my mind I'm clocking how Dennis works REALLY hard at these challenges...maybe too hard. And now I'm rambling...because it is now 3:54 am.
4:21 am. We think we have won. Unsure. My brain does not math at this hour. Stay tuned.
SO WE WON IMMUNITY WOOOO! Thank god, live tribals for some reason would make me really nervous so i am happy to be safe! hopefully the merge is soon as well, would love to get there and know i made jury (something which doesn't happen too me that often ngl) Sharky and I really hit it off last night, and i know this cause we established that Betty white is very dom but also caring about her subs. so thats a sentence you just read. If feel like even if I went to tribal, im likeable enough to make into into the majority alliance that could spring up, so I am happy with how I am playing tbh. Will it make me a threat further down the line? probs but i'll deal with that later
Can I just say that the laptop Discord is way better than mobile Discord. But catch me still using mobile discord all the time. Anyways.... It looks like the target might be Marie for tribal. TBH I really hope this tribal goes smoothly and everyone just votes for Marie. She was one and didn't help out in the challenge, as far as I could tell. Haven't seen the ones after I deadass fell asleep on my phone. Bryce and Keaton have my back so that's all that matter. Nate I have to keep an eye on because he threw my name with Marie because he didn't talk to me. (He was telling Keaton this.) I was like bruh why you lying. We literally talked for a couple of hrs after the swap before you went to bed. I'll update if there is any more spicyness. but It sucks though. Now only 2 people to have not gone to tribal is Dennis and Nicole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk_Ur9d_wY8&feature=youtu.be
only audio this time. Like switching it up hehe
everything is so quiet i think im going home which is super sad bc the game is pretty fun and i really wanted to work with maynor dennis and nathan somemore but oh well!!! am i a meninist? also i stan annabelle again she like kind of doesnt talk to me but when she does shes a legend league goddess. marie is so inactive that im going to vote her but i wish keaton left instead!
Hello! I am still safe and probably will remain so until merge, so.....this is fun! Lots of fun! Every time I try to contribute to a challenge I wake up and we've already won or finished it. I...is this the work ethic of Discord games? If so, I love being carried like this. Anyways, hoping that anyone who was cordial to me on my last tribe doesn't get the boot. I'm figuring Maria might go just because she has been so inactive (except that one time Keaton called her inact in the chat and she came on like AND WHAT ABOUT IT???). So anyways that's my thoughts on that. See ya at merge (?) or maybe we are gonna have another round before that.
Today is the day i go to my first tribal. Its kinda nerve wracking but also not because everyone seems to be unified to vote out Marie tonight. Its barely 11:22 am so anything can happy until 5 pm. Im just hoping nothing crazy is happening.
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Okay so this day off has been really great for me. Especially since we are still expecting a merge. And we all know once merge hits the party don't stop. However, I'm really interested to see what happens with this vote. Maynor is all alone but I need him to make the merge. Aside from Brian he is my best ally. Not to mention Nathan and Annabelle want to work with me. If they go I won't be heartbroken but I could use the allies. Then there is Bryce and Marie. I have no relationship with them but in a merge situation I think Brian could pull them into something. So I guess best case scenario Keaton goes. But also as long as it's not Maynor I would have to readjust my strategy.
OK, so it's been a couple of days! I said I'd do confessionals daily but it just doesn't work with how little is going on in the game on the winning tribe! I know that Nicole approached Sharky for some alliance with her and Dennis, but I just... 2 people doesn't make the numbers on the tribe and Sharky will be more loyal to me as opposed to them!
I guess I didn't really talk much about the swap either because it did just happen. Basically I got majority of my OG tribe (Nicole, Dennis, Sharky, and myself), but I also got Matt and Nick. I ADORE Matt and so I plan on working with him in the long run of this game if possible, and I'd love to make Nick the first boot from this tribe hehe... he needs to go before he gets his hands on any more items. He thinks Sharky was the vote against Charlie and not me, so maybe Sharky snapped, but I genuinely don't care at the moment because Nick wouldn't feed me any information like he would feed Sharky since I know Sharky's playing a good social game. I like Nicole and Dennis but I just don't care about longterm plans with either of them. Ideally, I'd love my endgame to be me, Sharky, Marie, Bryce, Matt, and Nathan so that I sit perfectly in the middle of people I want to work with, but I don't know if that's their ideal plans with me, soooo!!
I love dis game, and I'm really glad I got this day break after my team carried my ass because I just needed some quiet time…
I like this tribe because we won the challenge.. nothing has really happened besides me talking to some people and making some stronger connections... we all see a merge being what comes next and i cant wait for it to happen.
Idk I think this tribal will go ok but people haven’t really been talking to me a whole lot on this swap so hopefully no ones lying to me and I’m getting fucked over tonight we’ll see I guess fingers crossed!!
We swapped and lost immunity and I have no idea what's happening once again. I'm gonna vote Keaton again because of his behavior and hopefully I'm not the one being voted out ugh
Marie is voted out 5-1.
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Being Home with Zach [Hope x Zach]
@hope-robinson
[Hope]
Hope followed Zach inside of the house and took in his presence next to her. She couldn’t stop herself from turning him around to her and kissing him passionately. “I missed you so much.” She said against his lips as she pressed up against him.
[Zach]
Zach could feel her turning him around and pressing him against the wall. “I missed you so much too.” He kisses her back before picking her up and carrying her to their room and placing her on the bed as he continued to kiss her.
[Hope]
She kissed Zach with all of her heart before resting at his clothes as her tongue ran over his bottom lip and his piercing. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again like that. Ever.”
[Zach]
Hearing her words he could only smile at her as he kissed her back. “I won’t let anyone hurt you like that ever again either. I promise.” He responds before deepening the kiss.
[Hope]
“I know you won’t.” She smiled before feeling him deepening the kiss. Her eyes blazed red as she released pheromones into the air. “Zach...it’s been too long. My body, I need you. Fuck I need you so badly.”
[Zach]
Zach could smell her pheromones and it turned his on as well. His eyes turned red as he pulled her closer to him and just ripped her clothes off. He removed his as well before reconnecting his lips hungrily with hers. The male then lets just the tip tease the other before he pushed himself into her fully making sure that she could feel all of him.
[Hope]
Hope claws left her nails and she flipped them over as her alpha said was taking over. She dug her nails into his skin as she started riding him. She growled as she kissed with him intense passion.
[Zach]
The male let out a moan as he felt her nails digging into his skin when she started to ride him. He kissed her cheek back with just as much passion as he made sure that he constantly hit her sweet spot with each bounce of her hips.
[Hope]
Hope moaned as he hit her sweet spot over and over as she grinded against him and left her scent all over him. Her hand wrapped around his neck squeezing lightly as her eyes flashed black. “You will never touch another girl like that or I swear I will kill her. You are mine Zach. Don’t ever forget that.”
[Zach]
Seeing her eyes flashing black and hearing her words, he nodded his head. “I won’t ever touch another girl like that. I am all yours.” He purrs.
[Hope]
She smirked as she tightened the hold on his neck, “I don’t think I heard you Zach. Who do you belong to?” She asked as her hips moved faster.
[Zach]
“Fuck, I belong to you. Only you.” He moaned when she moved her hips faster against him. Zach could feel himself getting really close as well
[Hope]
“You want to cum for me? Fill me up with all your cum Zach. I know you want to.” She purred.
[Zach]
Zach doesn’t hold back as he came deep inside of Hope. “Fuck Hope…” He moaned her name as he could feel himself releasing all of himself inside of her.
[Hope]
Hope’s claws dug into his neck as she came after him moaning his name. She helped him ride out his high before her eyes returned to normal.
[Zach]
The male could feel her digging her nails into his neck and his eyes turned red. He had been trained in breathing under different pressures so when she had her hand against his neck it didn’t phase him.
[Hope]
“Shit sorry.” She said removing her nails and seeing the blood rushing out of his neck. “Fuck sorry I didn’t mean to do that. Sorry.” She said moving to grab something to clean up the mess.
[Zach]
Zach remained calm since there wasn’t that much blood and she didn’t hit a major artery or vein either. “You are okay. It didn’t hurt, don’t worry.” He reassures her as he applied pressure to keep it from bleeding too much.
[Hope]
“You are bleeding, so yeah it hurt.” Hope dismissed his words as she grabbed the first aid kit. “I don’t know what got into me, I really am sorry.”
[Zach]
“It’s okay Hope, really it is. I have made it through much worse than a few marks on my neck.” He tries to reassure her.
[Hope]
“Stop saying that.” She snapped cleaning his blood before bandaging the wound and standing up. “I fucking hate when you say that.”
[Zach]
“What? You hate when I say what? I know it was an accident Hope. I know it wasn’t on purpose. I am not going to hold it over your head you know. It will heal.” He explains when he hears her snap at him.
[Hope]
“God Zach you aren’t fucking invincible. You are a human. You can die way easier than I can you act like that doesn’t fucking matter. We have a family and if you die that’s it for me Zach. So stop saying shit doesn’t hurt when it does.”
[Zach]
“I am not saying I am invincible. I have been trained Hope. I have been trained to handle pain in a different way than what you are used to. I am not going to die Hope, not when I have you and the kids to live for so just trust me okay?”
[Hope]
“You would be dead. If Grace didn’t help you, you would be. So really...your word...I don’t trust it.” She said sighing as she ran her hands through her hair. “I need to shower.”
[Zach]
“I would have found another way out. I wouldn’t have given up. I would have kept fighting for you.” He responds before letting out a sigh of his own at her words. “Did you want me to join you or..”
[Hope]
“So you are telling me you wouldn’t have fingered her? Great to know.” She nodded. “Sure whatever.”
[Zach]
“I am not saying I would have found another way out I am saying I would never give up trying to find one.”
[Hope]
“I know what you are trying to say. It’s fine...I guess I know how my mom feels. She was always telling my dad that he wasn’t invincible and I didn’t understand you know, because he was...to me I never thought he could get hurt. And I’m sure Emmett looks at you the same way but I love you in a way Emmett doesn’t and I know you aren’t trying to get yourself killed but...I’m a hybrid. The first child...do you think I’m invincible? Do you think I can’t get hurt? Would you be okay if you or someone else hurt me and I said I’m fine? If that guy kept beating me...would you have looked the other way because I don’t feel pain?”
[Zach]
“No, no one is invincible but what use would it be telling you that I got beaten within an inch of my life? That would only make you worry and I don’t want you to have to worry about me. You were already going through a lot and I didn’t want to add to that stress.” He explains.
[Hope]
Hope moved to grab a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Zach. “I was going to leave you Zach. I only needed to sign that paper and if my dad hadn’t shown me what you went through, if he hadn’t told me you got beat within a inch of your life, I would have. If you don’t want me to worry about you then sign that. Cause that will stop me.”
[Zach]
“I don’t mind you worrying about me Hope but after the stress that was already put on you and the baby I didn’t want to add to that. And if I do recall correctly, I asked you if you wanted to see what happened and you told me you wouldn’t be able to handle it and that you didn’t want to because you thought I was all over Grace. I wasn’t going to fight you on that Hope. I was going to give you time to wait until things were stable before offering to show you again.”
[Hope]
“Am I supposed to thank you for that? You giving me time had me almost leave you. Emmett stresses me out, my family does all the time, do you think I would be okay with them letting me believe something that wasn’t true? It doesn’t even matter. This is dumb.” She said shaking her head and heading to the bathroom.
[Zach]
“Letting you believe something that wasn’t true? I was trying to convince you Hope and you didn’t listen to me. You didn’t want to listen to me. What? You want me to forcefully bite you and make you see what happened? I respect you more than that. If you don’t want to see something that is your decision and I chose to respect that until you were ready to see or hear what I had to say. That is all.” He explains before running his fingers through his hair in frustration.
[Hope]
“And what part of I never was going to did you not understand? I was going to leave you Zach. That is what would have happened because you decided to wait. You act like this whole relationship we haven’t done something the other person doesn’t like. Yeah I would have been pissed you bit me but at least you would have saved me some heartache. But you seem pretty glad with the way things turned out so I’m happy for you.”
[Zach]
“Well I didn’t know you were going to leave me because you ran off and I had no idea where you went. You had your phone off so even if i wanted to contact you I couldn’t. I will keep that in mind next time you don’t want to listen to what I have to say then. No, I am not happy that you have that paper with you because that means you lost faith in me and our marriage. If you were really that upset you should have talked to me or tried to listen to what I had to say but instead you chose not to. That was your decision Hope and you don’t want me to be so controlling of you and let you do your own thing. I am not going to force you to be with me if I make you unhappy.”
[Hope]
“I left my phone here so it wasn’t like I went out of my way to ignore you. I forgot it while I was packing and please spare me by saying you didn’t know where I was. I didn’t even want to know but I knew where you are because you and I are shifters so you chose to give me space. Of course I lost faith in you. Was I supposed to not have? I didn’t know the truth so I was allowed to think what I wanted. I did talk to you Zach. I stayed in the house afterwards because I knew that’s what you needed. But if all that could have been solved by you just biting me regardless of anything then yeah I lost faith in you. When I took away your love for me and I came to give it back to you, you certainly didn’t want it but I didn’t give a fuck. Maybe you just sign the paper.”
[Zach]
“I was giving you space because I know you like your space if you didn’t want me to give me space then you should have told me that. You tell me a lot about being honest and upfront yet you aren’t doing that. This is a two way street you know. I can only do so much Hope. I was tired and in pain and honestly I am still in pain due to some of the injuries being a lot slower to heal than others. I don’t have the energy to fight you on this anymore because lately I have been feeling more fatigued than I should be. I love you with all my heart Hope and you know this so please stop acting like I don’t care because I do. You can feel I do even if I can’t outrightly show it.” He explains before feeling a pain in his side as he notices some of the stitches had come loose and he was starting to bleed.
[Hope]
Hope could smell the blood before she saw it and didn’t even comment on it knowing the stupid response Zach would give. She grabbed her phone and called the royal doctor before hanging up. “The doctor is coming. He can give you something for your pain...oh I mean whatever you are feeling since you don’t feel pain.” She said before grabbing one of her throw on dresses and sliding it on just to have something to wear. She cleaned up the room before hearing the doorbell ring and heading downstairs to get it.
[Zach]
“I am not saying I don't feel pain. I am just used to hiding how I feel it is how I was trained I explained this to you. Your pain meter is different than mine. Certain pains I am used to, others not so much.” He responds.
[Hope]
The alpha just rolled her eyes before getting the doctor. She led him upstairs and explained what happened to the doctor before hearing him explain the medicine Zach would have to take and then he started working on the dragon. She took a few steps back to give the two some privacy. She sat on the couch in the bedroom and looked at the two of them.
[Zach]
Zach laid down on the bed and got himself comfortable before the doctor started to work on his side. For whatever reason, it was stinging really bad and he was trying his best to conceal his emotions but his eyes were flashing different colors in distress. His body was starting to heat up as he tried to suppress it all.
[Hope]
Hope could feel something was wrong and while she knew most people knew Zach was a dragon she got up and moved to sit on the bed with him and took his hand to calm him down. She looked at him and gave him a small smile as she squeezed his hand.
[Zach]
Zach’s body started to calm down when Hope took his hand. He couldn’t help but to squeeze it back as his eyes started to return back to normal and his body started to cool down.
[Hope]
She tried to think of something to distract Zach from what was happening and she smiled as she said, “I had a doctors appointment to check on everything and you will be happy to know the doctor confirmed we are in fact having a little girl. So all that protectiveness you have in you you should be prepared to use it.” She teased.
[Zach]
“We are having a little girl?” He asks as his eyes light up and a smile appears on his face. “That means Emmett will have a little sister to spoil. First thing she will learn is how to defend herself from boys.” The male insists with a small smile.
[Hope]
“That is a horrible first lesson.” She laughed shaking her head at him. “The first thing she will learn is that her father is a very special shifter. And that her mother loves him very much. Even if she argues with him a lot.” She teased him.
[Zach]
“Yes, okay she can learn that first then she needs to learn how to defend herself because she will be a special shifter too. Our own little mini dragon..maybe.” He smiles as the doctor finished up and put the medicine on the wound before bandaging it up.
[Hope]
“Will you leave our daughter alone? If I remember correctly my dad never punished you for half of the things you did and we did...you know at the table.” She said before moving to grab her wallet as she thanked the doctor. Since Zach wasn’t royal they were charged but Hope didn’t mind as she saw the doctor out.
[Zach]
“That is true but still, you were old enough to make your own decisions. Our daughter will have the option to do that too.” He teases before thanking the doctor as well before they left.
[Hope]
Hope came back upstairs and sat on the couch before bringing her knees up to her chest as she leaned back against the cushions.
[Zach]
Zach had been waiting for Hope to return to the room but when she didn't, he got up wincing slightly at the pain before going to find her. “Are you okay?”
[Hope]
She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Zach’s voice and moved to help him sit down as she nodded. “Yeah I’m fine, sorry I was just thinking.”
[Zach]
“Thinking about what?” He asks before thanking her as she helped him sit down.
[Hope]
“Nothing it doesn’t matter anymore.” She replied sitting next to him.
[Zach]
Zach let out a sigh, “You know it is hard to try to talk things out if you don’t want to talk about them you know.” He explains with a small laugh before putting his arm around her. “What is bothering you?”
[Hope]
“Really it’s nothing Zach. It’s not about you or our fight. I am honestly so tired of fighting with you. It’s like Grace is winning every time we do. I love you Zach and I don’t know if we can move past all that happened but I am willing to try.”
[Zach]
“I love you too Hope. As long as you are willing to try that is all that I can ask for you know.” He responds before kissing her cheek.
[Hope]
Hope smiled and nodded, “But anyway, it seems my tough dragon is really injured so you know what that means right?”
[Zach]
“What does that mean?” He asks not knowing what she means.
[Hope]
“No more working, staying home, and no more sex until that heals.” She smiled looking at him. “So technically you should just stay in the guest room so you aren’t tempted.” She teased him.
[Zach]
“I thought since we made up I wouldn’t have to stay in the guest bedroom? Plus I should be in our bedroom just in case someone else tries to come after you because you know safety reasons.” He teases lightly.
[Hope]
“Oh sweetie you can’t protect me with those stitches so sadly you will be stuck in another room. It’s only until you heal.” She responded kissing him softly. “You will be fine.”
[Zach]
Zach only huffed unhappily as he pouted. “I can still try you know.” He grumbled.
[Hope]
“Oh no, nope. You could get hurt and we don’t want that.” Hope smiled having a little too much fun with this. “No sex, no cuddling, no kissing.”
[Zach]
Hearing her words, he just frowned. “You are kidding right? I will be better soon. It won’t take that long to heal…” He explains.
[Hope]
“Nope, I want you to get better baby.” She said looking at him. “So you are just going to have to focus on getting better so we can have fun again.”
[Zach]
“But I have obligations to my wife so...I think that comes first don’t you?” He asks.
[Hope]
“I have toys I should be fine.” She shrugged.
[Zach]
“We both know that those toys can’t satisfy you the way my cock can.” He smirked before kissing her neck.
[Hope]
“Hm it will just have to do until you get better.” She smirked back pulling away from him. “You need to focus on you. So no sex Zach. I’m serious.” Hope said.
[Zach]
The male just pouts and grumbles to himself. “But you have been gone for so long and I want you.” He whimpered.
[Hope]
“Aw you want me baby? How badly do you want me?” She asked looking at him.
[Zach]
“I want you so bad.” He moaned while kissing down her neck as he pulled her closer to him.
[Hope]
“Yeah...okay.” Hope said standing up. “No Zach, you will be fine. You can want me so bad when you feel better.”
[Zach]
Zach pouts before pulling her back down on his lap. “I feel fine now. The medicine probably kicked in.” He reassures her as he kisses down her neck and leaves marks as he bucks his hips up against her.
[Hope]
Hope felt him pulling her down to his lap and bit her lip to stop from moaning as she shook her head, “Zach stop, you just got your stitches in you need to take it easy.” She said pushing him back against the couch. “I’m not going anywhere, you can have me as much as you want when you feel better. When you really feel better.”
[Zach]
The dragon huffed as he was pushed back onto the couch. “But I am in pain and that means that you need to help me get better. What if it cures me? You never know unless you try.” Zach insists.
[Hope]
“How is sex supposed to make you feel better? When I could help you get into bed, make you some soup, and put a movie on for you. I think that would be better and then when you feel better you can come back into our room and I will help you.”
[Zach]
“Yeah...that works then. Cuddles, soup and movie sounds good. You will be joining me for that though right?” He asks with a smile as he gets up and follows her to the room.
[Hope]
“No, I will get you situated but then I need to get Emmett and spend some time with him. You aren’t working so we can spend time together later.” She responds taking him to the room.
[Zach]
“Fine, fine, I will take a nap then.” He responds, “But I am holding you to that then.” Zach tells her as they arrive at the room.
[Hope]
Hope moved to the side to let Zach get situated in the room. “I will be making this very hard for you though.” She teased him dropping her dress on the floor. “I’ll see you when I get back baby. I love you.”
[Zach]
Zach bit his lip when he watched her drop her dress on the floor. “Mhm...I am already very hard for you so you don’t have to worry about that.” He responds while palming himself through his pants. “You go and tend to Emmett, I will tend to myself.”
[Hope]
She watched him start to play with himself and smiled, “I can’t wait to have your cock again. We might have to send Emmett to stay with my parents when you get better because we have a lot of making up to do. It’s sucks we can’t do it now.” She pouted before leaving to go change and get Emmett.
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HI CRUSH ANON HERE AND I WANT TO START OFF BY SAYING TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT FEEL EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN MY LOVE LIFE I LOVE YALL HAHHAHHA I DIDNT EXPECT FOR ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN :'))))) at the same time tho i feel like things might have to be put on hold for a while i dont know !!!! ok sorry sorry ill explain so ,, ive figured out that im like really really into this boy. in a way thats probably not the best for me right now, esp bc ive got a lot of things to juggle right now (1/17)
but also bc ive been thinking and like ,, ok so this story might put things more into perspective. so its like monday and i get a text from him thats just like ‘hey what are the rest of your classes for today/do you have like 15 min or something to be in a shoot of mine before it gets dark’ and im like PANICKIN bc ofc hes asked some of us to be models for his photography hw before and its always super casual BUT this is the first time that IVE ever been asked specifically (2/17)
and so obviously i jump at this offer and im like ‘umm i dont have any more classes today so sure just lmk when and what to do :) also whats the shoot about?’ and hes like ‘ok cool we can meet at your room at like 5:15 and ill tell you about the shoot when we meet up :)’ and he wanted us to go to this reaaaaally pretty park at sunset and do the shoot around that time and i was like ‘ok do u want me to wear anything specific’ and he was like ‘nothing in particular :)’ (3/17)
and so i start getting ready and im nervous af bc it meant spending more time alone with him and i felt so unprepared for that LMAO but yeah so he comes up to our room and i open the door and my heart skips a fucking BEAT and i almost slam the door in his face but i force myself not to aha and so we go and hes like ‘ugh im so tired i want coffee lets get coffee’ and so we went into the starbucks around the corner but then i was like yo will we make it to the park in time (4/17)
and hes like ‘o shit yeah’ so we leave without getting coffee rip but yeah we go to the city park and oh my gskldgskd it is so fucking pretty its right before sunset so everything is golden and the sky is rainbow but you can already see the moon and holy one of the prettiest views i think i have EVER seen !!!!! and then he explains to me what the project is finally and hes like so its an experimental photo set thats supposed to represent all the things we left behind in modern society (5/17)
and so for me he said he wanted me to pose in the city park at sunset sitting on a bench with my hands cupped like i was holding a heart (hes going to photoshop the heart in later when hes editing the pics) and then like leave it behind on the bench and look at the sunset behind me which is supposed to represent and i quote “leaving love behind in the pursuit of beauty” and i literally was like 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 the whole time LMAOOOOOOO (6/17)
but yeah so we did that in like 15 min but after we were done i legit didnt want to leave bc (i wanted to spend more time with him but also) IT WAS SO FUCKING PRETTY SKDHJDFH and ahhhh i like looked over at him and he looked sooo at peace just like looking out over the water and the sunset and the scenery was so beautiful i almost blurted out hi i think ur beautiful but i stopped myself in the nick of time thank god LOOOOOL (7/17)
but he like made eye contact with me and i like held myself together but there was a moment where i felt like djdhskjdkd idk how to describe it i was kfskshdhdjdh idk it could be just my imagination but I FELT LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE AHHHHHHHH and i was so tempted to ask him about the hand holding on saturday but i didnt i held myself back again thank god lol and then all of a sudden he goes ‘hey do u want pics’ and im like wot (8/17)
and hes like ‘do u want some pics of urself? like we r already here so !! plus i want some photos to put on my photography insta’ and i was like sljkddjkd ok why the hell not so he directs me into different poses and stuff like that and after the sun sets we finish and then we r walking back bored af so we start wandering around the little shops nearby and then we finally get home and then our friend texts the group chat like ‘hey anyone want dinner now’ (9/17)
and we were already really close to a dining hall so the two of us went and got dinner and our friend just joined us later and then during dinner when it was just the two of us we started talking about me losing the bet of when our friends were gonna hook up and so i have to treat him to japanese bbq and we were talking about when and hes like ‘well theres nothing im gonna celebrate for a while except my best friend from home is coming bc her sisters getting married here” (10/17)
and i was like ‘omg thats great ??? congrats to her !!!! omg’ but idk this is where it gets kind of confusing bc idk we were talking about maybe going this weekend but his best friend was coming and he was planning on spending all his time with her but i think he said that we could go get japanese bbq with her too ?? and i think i said ok but i dont think we locked down any like specific date and time at all ??? this part is a lil confusing to me (11/17)
so anyways that happened and i havent really interacted with him after that whole thing like we still have a streak on snapchat lol but he will do this thing where he wont open or respond to my snapchats for like literal hours ,,, even though i know hes ON snapchat bc he will like watch my stories ??? like w o t ???? i dont think hes doing it on purpose if that makes sense ?? but its still annoying and borderline infuriating and sldkghsldkgh (12/17)
and also like ok ,, his best friend came like yesterday and i saw her on his snapchat story and h o l y g o d she is the most beautiful girl on all of fucking planet earth i shit u not like i actually !!!! screamed when i saw her shes so fucking gorgeous and on his story theres a bunch of snaps of the wedding etc and a pic of him and her in a photobooth and sldkgsldkghs holy ???? i dont know how to put this into words but they are p e r f e c t for each other (13/17)
like in every way possible they are literally best friends and shes an actual goddess and together they look sooooo aesthetically pleasing it is legitimately intimidating and ahhh sldkgldgkh so the thing is !!!!! i already have practically no self esteem left ,, and a dinner with like HER and THEM will probably d e s t r o y m e from the inside out i will literally just feel inferior in every single way possible and i have NO IDEA HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS UGH !!!!!! (14/17)
but yeah that kinda just made me realize that i might need to take a couple steps back ??? from this entire thing and him in general ,, and also that before anything happens i really want to work on me first like obv x has got his shit together and theres that whole thing with his best friend and idk !!! i like have pledged to go to the gym way more and get my fucked up sleep schedule back to some resemblance of normal and f o c u s on my academics and skincare and eating more healthy !! (15/17)
like i wanna be a person that everyone can look at and be like yes !! u go girl shes got her shit together and yeah !!!! aha :’) and also i need to COOL IT with my feelings about x like as amazing as he is and as fun as it is to spend time with him and as much as i want to pursue everything about this relationship i dont think im in a place mentally and emotionally where i can handle that so !!!!!! for now im gonna (try to) just distance myself a lil (16/17)
and yeah !! if he asks to go out for japanese bbq tonight/tomorrow i think im just gonna be like ‘ahh i wish i could but im super swamped with work rn sorry :(((‘ (which is 100000% true) and just leave it at that *deep sigh* anyways thats where i am at this point thanks for tuning in yall aha :’) i just need to not be hurt in this relationship and distancing myself for now is the only way i know how to prevent that ,, and i probably wont be that successful but !!! heres to trying :) (17/17)
awwwwwwwww crush anon BUT THE SUNSET DATE (yes im calling it a date) does his best friend go to the same college as you guys?? bc if he’s single and she doesn’t live anywhere near him there probably really isn’t anything between them that you need to worry about. I def support the focusing on yourself bc the more confidence you have in yourself the less insecure you will be once you actually get into a relationship so go you!! my gf and i are actually starting to facetime each other and work out together too so all of us can struggle in that tryin to be healthier lyfe! i think in one of the other asks you mention more happened? but i also think that maybe a bbq date with him wouldn’t be bad? and i think you should try to have it with just him and no one else! idk fill me in on any new developments :0
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