#i havent seen anything conclusive
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#i feel sick#like i wasnt even an active aroha#whihc now i feel even worse about#i didnt even know rocky left????#and now moonbin is gone#and i feel like im gonna puke#and i cant talk to anyone about it especially not irl because theyll just think im crazy#i feel bad :(#i love astro so much#do we even know what happened???#i havent seen anything conclusive#not that we need to know#its not really our business#god i hope his family is ok#and all his friends the guys too#obviously they arent but what else do you say
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On this day, ?
EDIT: post locked due to conflicting sources about the date of this show. Enjoy the old photos anyway :)
In 2001: My Chemical Romance performed their first ever show at the Elks Lodge in Ewing, New Jersey, USA. (🖤)
Rachel L. Grotz
#this date is also on setlist fm but i havent really seen like conclusive proof anywhere.#if anyone has any links or anything to say for or otherwise my dms are open and i would love to see it!!#bullets era#2001#tour date#the thank you for the venom shirt is killing me#according to setlist fm they played skylines and turnstiles and jack the ripper :')
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ok im getting out of the replies @selchielesbian's post but it looks like i have more to say! they were talking about how strange it feels for yellowjackets to seemingly disengage from lottie's indigeneity despite the consistency in casting maori actresses, specifically re: the insidiousness of laura lee's imposition of christianity onto lottie's experiences -- and it reminded me of this passage from "ʹThe blank darkness outsideʹ: Ambrose Bierce and wilderness Gothic at the end of the frontier":
lottie has described her experience and the religious beliefs she developed because of it as 'primal' before, which automatically connects to this concept of 'contamination' by defanging it and re-casting it as a way to break down the nature/culture divide. but it's more complicated than it seems. bc this is a claim that still assigns agency to the wilderness as a space, making it supernatural -- and it's a claim being delivered by an indigenous woman to the cult she has developed from a melange of evangelical christianity, western psychiatric methodology, and what can be considered appropriative practices common in western 'wellness' lifestyles. it's hard to say whether yj is trying to meaningfully respond to the gothic lineage mentioned in this quote by creating the cult beliefs through these colonialist structures or if they are perpetuating it by using lottie as the mouthpiece for an embodied wilderness!
#wildernessposting#as usual not reaching an conclusion here just saying shit#if it's meaningful at all it would be worth thinking abt how indigeneity has an immediate relationship to bounded space#& how lottie being an indigenous woman does not make her indigenous to canada#but idk how much meaning anything has here#oh also i havent seen last nights ep so it that plays into this dont tell me abt it yet!
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waitttttt a fucking second. how did Maruki know about Akechi and Akira.
the other thieves wishes n stuff comes from what they talk about during their counseling sessions and the general publics wishes are because of Maruki looking into Mementos. but at no point does Akira so much as mention Akechi to Maruki, Akechi and Maruki are never on screen at the same time before the third semester, n Akechi doesnt even Know the guy before then either. the thieves are the only ones who know about Akechi dying in the first place, and who knows how much even they know abt what went on between him and Akira, and Maruki has already left the school before we get CLOSE to that point..
that weird dream Akira has during the transition into the third semester was likely Marukis doing and couldve been written off as the point where Maruki like. tampered with his mind or something n saw All of That - but thats AFTER Akechi shows up out of nowhere!!!! what the hell!!!!!!
#has anyone figured this out i havent seen anyone mention this before but. theres no connection that i can draw here#or did i miss something.#Maruki is implied to only do things he knows or believes people want based on whats said to him or presumably what shadows say in mementos#theres just. no point at all where i can think of him being able to pull this off#Maruki Does get his persona on christmas eve and Akechi comes back shortly after all that weird shits done#but theres still nothing that couldve.. theres no way?? if anything thats weirder. did he dive into Akiras brain during that whole thing#i dont get it!!!!! whadda hell!!!!!!#Akira - literally NO ONE - even thinks abt Akechi that day#i remember passerby dialogue wondering where he went after disappearing but that couldntve been enough to draw conclusions like that#Maruki brought Akechi back because he thought or knew that he and Akira wanted to start over. they should have been friends for real#shaking him. how the fuck do you know that. you shouldnt know that.#p5#PLEASE for the love of fuck tell me if im missing something here . please
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if theres a utena character in one of these tournaments you know someone will be saying some stupid shit in the tags about the show. ive seen it three times at this point but i submitted shiori to a lot of polls so lets see if it will happen more
#if u havent seen it i dont want to hear anything from u and if u have seen it. HOW DID U COME TO THAT CONCLUSION#actualy ive submitted a lot of utena characters. to a lot of polls. because my for you page was just full of them the other night
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last anon, do you have any examples?
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if you have ever gone really really really thoroughly through moonrise towers looking for every single readable scrap of paper. you can find this sequence of letters between gortash and ketheric that i havent seen anyone talk about but if i have the order right its REALLY funny to me. kicking myself cause i can’t find the screenshots at the moment but it’s like
the first one (in ketheric’s room) is gortash writing to ketheric very formally and commandingly in proper letter format telling him to retrieve the artefact and not to fail in doing so. and it’s super overbearing lol
the second one is a copy of ketheric’s reply (near z’rell’s desk i think) wherein he tells gortash that his “tone” in the previous letter is “inappropriate” lmao. and to not order him around like that because he doesn’t answer to him or bane and also he’s working on it.
the third one is gortash’s reply to that i believe (one of the alcoves on the roof where the first round of ketheric’s fight is) and it takes the form of a small unformatted informal thing that goes something like “k- just a note to say i can’t believe the artefact is still missing! i hear even the githyanki are after it!!! i sure hope you find it soon! -g” with exclamation points and everything and it just comes off as the most sarcastic patronising thing bsgshsgs
and so this, plus the way he kicks you in the shin at the morphic pool, and then the way he petulantly shoves you and yoinks the netherstones (at such a critical moment too) because the brain is pissing him off. AND all the intentionally hurtful things he goes out of his way to say to karlach even when she’s so supposedly beneath him. it has all brought me to the conclusion that, for all his posturing, gortash genuinely has the emotional maturity of a grape and it makes for a very very funny dichotomy to his character
(but also kind of sad. because he kind of still the little kid his parents sold out to the devil all those years ago. he never grew up he just learned how to puff up his self esteem with hot air and it takes so little to cut through the performative sophistication)
Anon...
why did you have to hurt me this way?
I have seen all of those notes, actually, but I never thought anything of them...
But you're right.
Gortash is fundamentally a child tyrant... a miserable little wretch, who was an abused slave for most of his childhood, and who swore he'd never let anyone treat him like that again.
And then he swore HE'D be the slaver and the bully.
But maybe that was because he never had the opportunity to grow to his full potential.
And the parts of him that were able to grow, grew wrong.
He was twisted up and gnarled inside like a plant forced to grow through the bars of a small cage.
My poor Gortie.
Evil boy. Tragic boy.
The pettiness is funny but god now I'll think of it as sad too.
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a promise is a promise
daddy's home 😘
🌃-anon here ^^ hooray!!
okay okay phew it's been so long i forgot how to write anon ask but, a comeback is desperately needed to save the day. I'm here to talk about professor!nikolai agenda. your girl started uni and i need to cope.
while collegestudent!nikolai has been eating my brain like crazy, professor!nikolai is as needed. i might hit you up with college student nikolai someday tho cuz my classmates are all weird and i need that daily dose of delusion that someday, i'll meet a student as awesome and as fun as nikolai is in my head
little disclaimer to anyone reading this: dark content ahead. we dont do any of that irl it's just fiction, so if you're sensitive to prof x student shit keep scrolling. i say reader is 20-ish and papi nikolai is pushing 30 😁
random prof!nikolai headcanons ahead 🗣️
prof kolya is definitely one of the cool teachers on campus yk? the type that's loved by all of the students because of how laid back he is and how much he doesn't give a shit yk??? like "prof we didn't study for the test tomorrow can we postpone it?" "we will. i havent put the text either" 💀 that type you know?
BUT simultaneously, he can also be really strict depending on the context yk? while he's chill, he can't tolerate disrespect like, not at all. he jokes around with his students but with limits and boundaries.
clothes-wise i feel like he dresses super well 🤔 as opposed to headcanons I've seen, i dont think he dresses weird or in an eccentric way like canon nikolai is, he wears casual clothes :3 fashionable? yes. but nothing weird. he's tall, broad with really unique features (i imagine nikolai with one of them typical european noses and plump looking lips. this part is totally up to you tho)
prof kolya was a really unproblematic physics professor (yk in canon he has teleportation abilities so uh) that is until y/n took a course with him,
we're met with two cases: y/n is calm and quiet in class, y/n puts herself out there. now let's be for real, teachers love good students so the higher the grades the better the sex more you'll get attention from him (god imagine nikolai praising you😮💨)
now if you're quiet- OMG since he gets along well with students i feel like he'll openly joke around with students except for you (if you're quiet) he'll just talk with you in a low voice (btw i imagine classes like, small classes not amphitheaters or any of that) let me elaborate: you're in class yk he's explaining quantum physics or some shit and occasionally interacting with his students. his gaze falls on you once he's standing right in front of your desk and lets a small question slide like "is it ok?" "do you get it?" or flashing you a small smile or so 🤭 he's not mocking you or anything he's being genuine (for once) bc you're openly his favorite
and by that, and as someone who's a favorite for nearly all my professors so far the privileges i get isnt anything like grades or whatever but more like validation? im a good student i dont need their crusty dusty extra credits. one of the privileges i get is for example, during exams, the prof tells me "so, [name], we're scoring an A+ in this test too?" yk and it's genuine so nikolai i that type too.
(i leave anything sexual or suggestive for you to develop bc im really bad and awkward at that)
conclusion: he shamelessly favorites you in front of other students.
though you two would become a thing faster if reader is on the more loud type in his class: always participating, asking questions, joking around maybe.... i feel like when you have a question thats a little long to explain, he'd ask u to come to his office and what happens there is up to your imagination dear bean
will quickly become your number one emotional support throughout college 🥱 imagine not doing well in the exam and you go to his office to talk to him about it and he comforts you by [redacted]
anyways i could go on and ramble forever. i'd love to hear your dirty thoughts on this nikolai au :3 what i wrote is hella long and messy but we're mere disciples beanie, you're the writer here hehe
as usual, have a good/day night!!
I REALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH *sloppily kissing slop slop*
first of all, yeeee goodluck with college and don't die bcs i almost did 😎👉 and secondly, no let's NOT get nikolai pushing 30s. HE IS 35 ATLEAST IDC HAHAHA im gonna reply to each one headcanon bcs you deserve it girlie 💋✨
yes! he totally gives me the vibe to be laid-back at his work. he's so gonna do something like that lmao. also, despite his laid-back persona and he's always like “ehh~ just answer this easy ass quiz and i'll take it as your assignment mark”, i do think he does his job greatly. there's a time where he needs to get things done and while it doesn't seem like he's doing shit, he actually GETS. SHIT. DONE. that's why he isn't fucking fired 💀
strict prof. nikolai.... ugh *spreads legs*😝 i agree. he does have limit and i feel like he wouldn't scold people or raise his voice but certainly when he's being colder and quieter, oooh you fucked up big time
i do think he wears classic style to go to classes! i'm thinking... dark academia. and yes, he's tall and broad and so big✨ i feel like it also depends on the subject. if prof nikolai is teaching theatre or drama... those kind of things, he will wear something maximalist, if that makes sense? imagine a mad hatter-themed suit but formal. unfortunately, i can't draw for life.
physics professor hmmmm why don't he come here and expand the space of my quantum pussy😏😏
i can imagine raaaaaaa :barkbarkbark: him praising you in front of the whole class because you got quite high marks for physics ahakss😝
HMMMMMMM SOFTY :feral: i can't fucking breathe😩 yes he'd totally be loud to those who are loud with him but if you're quiet and serene, he'll be soft as fuck rrrrrrrrr imagine him noticing you not understanding something and he takes the initiative to come to your desk, teach you with the softest (yet deep) voice ever. NOT MOCKING ME TOO? woah what a green flag 💚
lmfao i can totally relate with you😭 honestly, validation is too pressuring, stressing and overwhelming for me. i hate when teachers are like “so, elie, you can score A for this right?” bih i just barely got the B-grade fym (burnt-out gifted kid be like;). anyway, i'm half-half on this. but i do think if he makes such comments, and he notices you aren't uncomfortable, he wouldn't go put his way to directly say that. maybe he just makes comment that implies he does have certain expectations on you
(i'll develop the sexual things myself *takes off his pants and develop his wood*)
conclusion: he becomes my favourite subject😝❤️
i'm honestly thinking that he prefers it if you are an active student. idk, for me, nikolai (in general) likes challenges and fun. so if you're actively questioning this or that, he'd take interest in you really quick. also, i will invite myself into his office tyvm
definitely get emotional. lmao imagine ranting about other professors with him and he just supports you
well my dirty thought is that he becomes my private tutor. HA HOW BOUT THAT HUHHH but in all honesty, i love the thought of him riling and teasing you instead of yk, playing favourite and get you alone in his office. he likes edging people and he'd surely likes it if you tease him back too ayy papi😝
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sometimes its actually alarming HOW uncritically the naruto fandom looks at the text like because something isnt "shown" in canon/on-screen (it usually is, but just implicitly) people think it means it couldnt have happened and therefore making sweeping statements about the character like "theyre just weak" or "they make no sense"
as usual im going to focus on naruto (😌) heres an example but it applies to many others (itachi, gaara, neji, hinata,...me)
here are some things we know about naruto:
he is inexplicably talented at taijutsu despite having no mentor
he created sexy jutsu for attention from older men (he craves a father figure)
he is rather repulsed by affection aside from certain people
he relies on shadow clones to outnumber his enemies and protect him from damage, as well as acting like diversions (he only later on seems to learn to use them practically as well, and he doesnt use them as an actual team iirc)
he represses his memories and life severely if they cause him distress or negative emotion, and when he doesnt do that it causes him to lose complete control of himself in anger
some of these things are basic signs of a child who has been abused in multiple ways (particularly verbally, physically, and sexually), but also just logically how is it possible that naruto became proficient at taijutsu when he didnt train with anyone and had no teacher to correct him? why would it be important to naruto to have, what are essentially, human shields? why does naruto freely tolerate physical abuse he receives while others openly complain about it? why would that lead to naruto eventually wanting to defend/protect everyone in tandom with ANOTHER orphan who feels the same? why would WE not be able to have a clear directly depicted answer to this as a reader?
idk to me personally there are a lot of things people say are "headcanons" are just things they logically put together based on subtext, and theres a reason why a vast majority of people who read the same text come to the same conclusion. it seems like this is a lot less common in manga form (i dont read manga so i wouldnt know, i understand different mediums have different communication norms but some things are just literary basics), so its the first time ive encountered this "why does everyone believe in [some idea not said in plain english]? it's never said anywhere!" logic...it doesnt need to be. there are certain clues and patterns youre supposed to be able to draw conclusions for based on common life experiences (archetypes/universal symbols).
if you can do these above steps and come to a conclusion, and a plurality of people come to the same conclusion, it was probably intentional on the author's part. if the author explicitly states its not intentional, then sure, but that doesnt take away from how/why the story is impactful because the author may not even realize theyre doing it. an easy example i can think of is tsunade's fear of blood, where its meant to symbolize death, but in her case also ends up symbolizing love wrt her relationships with naruto and jiraiya. and thanks to blood gaining this symbolism through tsunade, when you see uchiha tears of blood, you instantly make those same connections. then you think back to gaara screaming about having never seen his blood (coming from his forehead where that tattoo of his is......), then the eventual resolution of that being an inversion of the symbolism the manga establishes when he battles his father during the war.
more than anything though i find it kind of concerning that adults sit around laughing at obviously what is meant to be traumatic. as if there arent people in your life who sit around with these same experiences and signs, with something they havent told you about because theyre afraid youll laugh at them.
#naruto#naruto meta#naruto analysis#sasuke#itachi#gaara#neji#hinata hyuga#pro sasuke#pro naruto uzumaki#pro itachi#anti naruto fandom#once again not anti kishimoto but anti kishimoto writing a shounen manga when it shouldve been a young adult novel series#naruto headcanons#brought to you by “sasuke/naruto are so weak what happened to them wasnt even that bad”
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!!Black Butler S4≠Harry Potter!!
IF I SEE ONE MORE ANIME ONLY COMPARE THE PUBLIC SCHOOL ARC TO HOGWARTS I WILL BURN EVERYTHING DOWN I SWEAR.
I have seen countless people on social media calling this new season a filler and "lack of originality" because it looks like Harry Potter and as a manga reader for years this physically brings me pain.
Anime only's, please: Go get a snack and sit down comfotably while I explain the following.
Black Butler season 4 is NOT a filler, it's a genuine manga arc that goes right after the luxury liner arc or most famously known as book of atlantic.
WHAT IS A FILLER IS THE ENTIERTY OF SEASON 2 SO STOP WHINING ABOUT THE LACK OF CLAUDE AND ALOIS TRANCY THEY WONT APPEAR!!! RAAAAAAAAH LET US MANGA READERS HAVE ONE GOOD THING ANIMATED PLEASE I BEG
"This looks like Hogwarts wah wah wah"
Where season 4 takes place is a victorian era boarding school in Britian.
Hogwarts is a fictional magical wizarding school BASED on British boarding schools.
This is nothing like hogwarts, this isn't a magical school, if anything there's a morbid secret that will be uncovered and trust me, the secret won't be magic wands and Ciel screaming wingardium leviosa.
"The new characters are gonna overshadow my pookiebear Sebastian waaah waah waah"
The P4 are pivotal characters in this arc, but trust me when I say our beloved butler and his master will be the main focus in this arc.
IN CONCLUSION!
Give this season a chance, the canon accurate parts of the anime are the heart of black butler.
also, don't yap about something you clearly know nothing about, because that can actually cause us to not get more seasons AND WE HAVENT EVEN SEEN THIS SEASON YET GODDDD.
#Black butler#black butler manga#black butler season 4#edgar redmond#lawrence bluewer#gregory violet#herman greenhill#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji anime#kuroshitsuji manga
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For all the hype hori build arround Sero's "big moment" it ended up being pretty shitty. Also I cant measure how much I HATE that Endeavor is gonna to figth AFO AGAIN as if we havent seen enough of him puching bad guy uuuhggh I hate this chapter
Yeah, in the end Sero's moment was predictable - using Tape at a moment when Deku lost Black Whip. It's a cool concept but Hori just didn't land it very well. With Deku using BW so much and it being so powerful, Sero taping up AFO looks both underwhelming and pretty difficult to believe that it would somehow prevent AFO from doing anything.
As for his "speech" - it's like 80% of the class. If he doesn't develop them, they'll just end up saying something tripe (it feels like Class A vs OFA - which I thought was a cool concept and some of it was genuinely good, but everyone saying something was hamfisted. Or the IronSuit, which didn't need to have a functionality for every single student AM never interacted with).
Also, it feels weird for Sero of all people yelling about the tragedy Shoto experienced. As much as "SeroRoki" is a thing in fanfic, in canon they only had 2-3 interactions, and none of them very deep or digging into Shoto's anger at the Sport Festival (which is a shame).
Iida talking to Shoto worked much better, because of both of their arcs, parallels, foiling and lots of build-up between them.
As for Endeavor - yeah, I'm still trying to process that tbh and trying to decide if it's a good thing or bad thing. In a way, it feels like his "father moment" is once again side-stepped, when Natsuo just tells him to go into the battle because him radiating heat is bad for Rei (even though last we saw them they were all freezing). So Enji doesn't need to make a choice between responding to the back-up call or trying to get Toya to Recovery Girl in time to maybe save his life.
But on the other hand, it's like a punishment too that having prioritized being a hero for so long, now he has to fight without knowing Toya's fate. Natsuo's comment also makes it seem like Endeavor has not many punches left in him, so I hope he won't overshadow the kids.
I do appreciate that his combo with Shoto came only after he apologized and for the moment it is pretty low key.
I don't want to judge too harshly, because I feel like the star arrivals of this last battle will be the LoV, including Toya. With ShiraGiri still being unstable, I can see him doing his own little call for back-up and rounding up all the LoV and I think that could be exactly what tips the balance in favor of Tomura's return. So maybe Endeavor being in the battlefield will still pay off in some way for Shoto and Toya getting their proper conclusions.
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I have to admit, I have no idea how you manage to translate. I just had a translation exam and... yeah.
"Urge", that's probably "recommander de urgement" (sic). "Recommander" feels too much like an advice you can just discard. "Conseiller" (advice)? Ditto. Well, let's go with recommander. Wait, how do I spell it? "Urgamment?" (sic), "urgeamment?" (sic) how do I even spell "urgant" (sic)? "Urgeant" (sic)? It feels weird with the e. It's probably urgant (sic). [A few seconds later...] Wait, no, it's urgent! So is it "urgemment" (sic)? Let's write that.
[Sees a second "urge"] err... "Conseiller" really feels too mild. What could it be?
"Conseiller" nope.
"Recommander" no.
"Conseiller" NO!
"Pousser" nope, that one is too much of an active action.
"Inviter" oh. Yeah. That fits.
Then I had several occurances of "how do I write this French word?" Précédemment/Précédamment, démarrer/démarer...
i forgot you havent seen me go mad because of translating yet. hm. [one example], [another better example] of my madness.
and also [an example of what a dissection of intention] looks like when i do it
and another of [what sentence deconstruction] looks like when i'm stuck
fam. i've been translating for nearly 2 years now. got dozens of thousand of published words behind me, some more thousand unpublished. i am used to the madness and the suffering of it.
and i am not alone in the process. i call friends to ask whether something sounds aight, i use [deepL] for when im stuck on a particular word, [context reverso] when an expression escapes my mind. i do not rely on my faulty brain or the guys in my head alone.
hate translation exams with your heart as i hate the summer ❗❗❗ world's worst way to test translation capabilities
like just with your example word "urge". no word is ever divorced from its context in an actual translation setting! whether you're working with books, poems, medication instructions, package labels, or anything you could think of, they all exist in a context that provides expected vocabulary!
just being given a word on its own also strips it of expected word class, like "urge" can be a verb or a noun, and in french those would be entirely different words yeah? a noun would be "une envie/un désir" and a verb would be "inciter/exhorter"! Give Me Context To Work With!!
as for spelling, i always think of my professor's favorite phrase: french is just vibes trying to look pretty. except for the set-in-stone rules yaknow (-o at beginning, au middle, eau end, CECI for when C is pronounced S and G isn't hard, etc.)
and i still dont know when it's leur or leurs in any given setting.
conclusion: it comes with experience *shrugs*
#me and my bescherelle and petit larousse 2021 and larousse anti-fautes d’orthographe all banding up whenever i translate french fics#translation is just an exercise in dissection of an author's intentions#exemplified by the links provided#but also take into account that this all is coming from a hobbyist's pov#because i cannot imagine the nightmare that would be having to do this for a job ajahkjghkjhkjahg#tired-and-unjellied#an asker asked an ask
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I wish that autism wasn't so heavily looked down upon/ignored/disrespected when I was growing up.
I was a "devil child", "handful", "problem".
When in reality if even minute changes were made in my environment and how my own family interacted with me, I would have flourished so much more.
I heavily stimmed using music. The repetitive beats and heavy bass was my thing. So when my mom wanted to punish me for something, one of the first things she'd do was take away my ipod/mp3 whatever I had. WORST thing was when she ONLY took my (very specific) headphones.
To her, it was taking away something fun. A luxury item. A toy basically.
But to me, it was taking away a very heavily ingrained stim that I NEEDED to do, and could not do without very specific criteria (specific headphones and a specific playlist/style of music)
So of course I would become horribly disregulated. Which I'd then have to attempt to mask/or recluse to avoid her so she wouldn't see how bad it unraveled me.
Because to her, being disregulated/unraveled was "acting up", "catching an attitude", "being disrespectful/rude".
Gods. Looking back I truly hate how she did me wrong in that way. Not just my stim but EVERYTHING. All my needs were either dismissed or half-met.
She is one of those people who thinks sure adhd/autism exists but not in HER family. Not in HER children. She even tried to blame it on the father of her children and it couldn't possibly have had anything to do with her.
..... we not only ALL have different fathers, but after observing both memories of her and her now, she is ALSO autistic and in total denial.
I definitely still harbor resentment because of that. She had me "evaluated". Once. At a time where they still heavily leaned on the male criteria for adhd, and autism wasnt really addressed/acknowledged unless it was severely debilitating. But also, by the time she had me evaluated, I'd already spent a few years (unknowingly) masking due to peers and family creating that need. So the conclusion was "there MIGHT be something divergent about her but we couldnt say for sure at this time" and she took that as "nope she's good, just a problem child. Carryon." Never again to be addressed.
She barely acknowledged that one of my brothers (previously a sister) was diagnosed adhd.
She only acknowledged another brother's adhd&autism diagnosis because the school he went to was very accommodating and insisted that he be evaluated and guess what.
Once he was diagnosed, and they rearranged his class schedules to fit his needs, he did a 180 and graduated top of his class. THRIVED. I both LOVE that he got that and HATE that I never did. I barely got through school.
It wasn't for lack of love of learning. I just, learned different, but was ALSO heavily overloaded with how crammed my courses were. I always wonder if I'd gotten the same accommodations, would I have thrived? Would school have been a drastically different/positive experience/memory for me? I'll never know. Because my mother was so against the idea that anything was divergent about me and absolutely mentally stuffed me into her little idea of an ideal neurotypical child that I never had a chance...
Now that I know I'm also AuDHD, like most of my siblings and even an aunt, I feel validated. I had seen vlogs and blogs about people more and more coming out about how they handle life and their coping skills and hacks theyve learned and after starting to apply those to myself... gods I've improved so much.
Don't get me wrong, I still struggle. But now knowing what issues are and how to cope and get around things, I'm a lot better off.
This is only ONE reason of several why my relationship with my mother has gone sour. What's sad is she doesn't really realize it yet? I havent been able to compose myself enough to have THE CHAT.
About how she hurt me a lot. Intentional or not. (Like not knowing taking away my music was taking away a stim) I don't know how to have this chat. Tbh I thought about writing a longass letter. Because in the past whenever she's been confronted about anything she's done wrong, she spirals into defense mode and wont even entertain the conversation beyond that point and you get... nowhere.
So maybe in person the bulk of the talk wont happen. I feel like. I need to hand her a letter. Have her read it. And maybe have a succinct chat before parting ways.
Because I wanted to be close to her for so long, that I either didn't realize or knowingly ignored her problem behaviors and looking back... she just... gods that's a whole other post for the future....
If you've read this far thank you. If you've had similar familial experiences, lmk (if you're comfy)
I just....... *sigh*.... yep.
#vent post#vent#long vent post#long post#audhd#adhd#autism#neurodivergence#childhood#neurospicy#neurospicy childhood#neurodivergent childhood#stim#heartbreak#family issues
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THOUGHTS ON 376 TIME! WOOHOO!!
Three thoughts came into my mind on this page.
One, that “we still haven’t had our chat about romance” is a thought in ochako’s head, not just a distraction. (Very interesting..) But I may just be reading the bubbles incorrectly, as I’m aware that last chapter she said this to Ochako. Could it be Toga remembering it? Another possibility too.
Two, that Toga believes this is Ochako trying to TAKE BACK her rejection in some light. To my knowledge, (and if the translators didn’t mess anything up too badly, sorry y’all I’m aware it won’t be perfect no matter what) “taking a hint” is often used in English to describe someone not backing off romantically. The hint being, “I don’t have feelings for you”. (Edit: this post translated it in its most literal form, and it said “persistent” so, I still stand by what I said. It’s sounds like someone rejecting a romantic confession)
And number three, the most important. “Can’t take a hint” is the most tongue and cheek thing I’ve seen. IT SOUNDS LIKE IN MY VERY BIASED SHIPPER MIND THAT, THE AUDIENCE, AKA US, HAVENT GOTTEN THE HINT WITH THESE TWO.
I saw literal radio silence when chapter 375 came out. Now, I’m aware that togachako is a bit of a rare pair. Not only is it a sapphic ship, but it’s also with a more “problematic” dynamic, and with a character that was introduced later on into the series. Wayyyy after ochako was introduced as Izuku’s love interest.
Most bkdk shippers either outright ignore ochako, hate her, or ship her with Tsu. I only judge one option out of the three, as it’s usually born out of misogyny. (Purposefully or not, I’ve seen people love male characters with the same “annoying” traits ochako has. Tbh, most people hate her bc she’s a girl and she’s feminine. That’s it)
Anyway yeah, and the only people who really care about her character development are one: Ochako stans (love y’all <3) two: togachako shippers (me) and three: izu//ocha shippers. (Censored so that I don’t tread on their territory as I’m about to be a little…. Eh to them and their interpretations)
Now, izu//ocha shippers to me are pretty neutral. There’s the dudebros who I think everyone hates, and then there’s the normal batch of people. A mix of people who enjoy the series very casually, or people who just generally like them.
Because of this fact, however, they are, like me, also biased. Meaning if I presented my thoughts on togachako to an izu//ocha shipper, I will and have been called a little bit of a conspiracy theorist about it. That I’m in denial, yada yada. All that junk. And if I’m wrong? Then shit, guess it’s me getting kicked in my ass all over again for trusting a shonen writer. I have fandom to help me cope. I’ll live.
Now, because of this bias, it leaves the interpretations of chapters 289, 342, 348, and even 375 all deemed as “izu//ocha chapters”, because what else could it be leading up to other than that?
And that’s why I HOPE and I PRAY that Horikoshi pulls the rug out from under your feet. I hope and pray every day that’s what happens. If only to confirm in my mind that my eye for detail isn’t sketchy or rough around the edges. Or that my conclusions aren’t just delusions. I don’t like to be wrong, thank you very much.
The other thing I wanted to delve a little into. Toga’s mind is a labyrinth that I don’t think even us as the audience has quite cracked yet.
I like to think I understand people. Not in the casual social way, god no. Social cues are not my thing. But reading people? Getting to the bottom of their issues and wrenching them from their depths and into the open for someone to see? THATS what I’m good at. Understanding a person and how they work. Because, let me tell you, there is a reason for each and every thing a person does. Every little detail, from the way they stand to how they choose their words. How someone reacts defensively and offensively are the biggest giveaways to who a person actually is.
Toga Himiko’s walls are miles thick. They appear sheen, like she wears her emotions on her sleeve, but that’s just not TRUE. Before she broke, it was forced neutrality to the wrongdoings in her life. Possibly even any form of happiness wasn’t deemed respectable to wear. The mask was on at all times, no matter what, but now? Now it’s a smile. The mask is still there, it still exists. It’s just in a different form, something made to protect HER rather than EVERYONE else. It’s interesting.
Another notable thing about Toga, she’s cried once, in the entire manga. She has cried once.
And it wasn’t even for Twice’s death.
If toga were to cry at Twice’s death, if toga were to express any other vulnerability other than anger at his death, then she would be left with two things: the mask, shattered; the one that mattered. And two, she would have to accept that everyone was right about her. That she was a tragedy.
And not only was she a tragedy, but she had to accept that death affected her. That the love she “experienced” for people like Izuku or Sato, wasn’t love. Because she loved twice, yet never wanted to BECOME him.
And I can hear it now, “doesn’t she want to be ochako too?” No, actually. She wants to be like her.
And, if you ship bkdk, you probably follow some other analysis creators on here. People who have talked about Izuku wanting to become LIKE Katsuki, not become him.
And that begs the question, does ochako want to become deku? Or become like him?
I think it’s both.
The thing is, Ochako ofc can’t physically become him, but at every turn of trying to be like him, it hasn’t really let her evolve. It’s held her back, actually, like at the sports festival. Ntm, this requires some level of natural imitation, something Ochako clearly lacks in her relationship to Izuku.
But she does not lack with Toga.
Idk if I showed it here before, and if I didn’t, I apologize for not explaining completely at least. Essentially, Ochako naturally imitates how Toga looks in both her hairdo and some choice facial expressions. Toga naturally imitates through posing techniques mid air and behavior parallels. I don’t feel like grabbing the panels, sorry!!
But back to Himiko, I think that she desperately wants close connection, is extremely insecure about herself, and actively hides behind smiles. Not only that, but she’s been trying to imitate shigaraki this entire time by having his “I don’t care about love and I wanna destroy the world” attitude and disdain. Showing she’s trying to find the most powerful people in her mind right now to hide from herself, her own sadness. She wants to hide from her rejection, and views the rejection itself as her. She knows that people see something especially unnerving and wrong about her, yet doesn’t completely understand why. So this rejection sensitivity is not only heightened by her trauma, but also Twice’s death.
With him gone, she now becomes unnervingly aware that she does not like death the way she thought she did. She also can’t escape the reality that no one has ever truly cared about Toga Himiko as a person.
And in her mind, following Jin’s death, no one ever will.
One last note, these two panels felt like parallels to me. Might be a stretch.
#midoriya izuku#bkdk#mha deku#bkdk brainrot#bakudeku#bnha deku#bakugou katsuki#mha analysis#deku midoriya#mha bakugou#leftsock rambles#mha katsuki#togachako#toga himiko#togachako brainrot#uraraka ochako#toga x ochako#bnha#mha
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i havent seen anything on smoshtwt about courtney's bleeped out part in flashback?!? what have you seen?
Some of the account tweet about it recently. Not really gonna post this on here or anything because they're also on tumblr too but just lurking around them you should be able to find it. The conclusion is pretty much the same that she said "I'm getting married" as well.
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Being pictured on the street is not leaving his hotel room. Just because filming is commencing Monday again, you don't have the call sheet. As usual you are inflaming stories. Plus Sam has 3 assistants, one travels with him, it used to. be a dark haired male, but havent seen him this trip. So she could be the replacement. It's likely she is an assistant, as Marina Campbell was at one time.
Hi, oh reading impaired one. I never said the woman pictured leaving Sam's hotel was seen leaving his hotel room, just his hotel. I stated and posted facts given to me by the source who TOOK the pic--Sam was seen leaving his hotel with a woman. I then said she could be a date, a friend, or an assistant. People in the comments left their various opinions. I, Purv, have not made any conclusive determinations about her identity, and I never mentioned hotel room.
As for filming, again, FACTS I have already stated based on the source who approached me giving me info about when he filmed in The Netherlands. She said he was done filming The Couple Next Door in The Netherlands. She said there is filming in Belgium today, June 12, June 13 and June 14, possibly more. As we saw in my earlier post from Deuxmoi, Sam was indeed photographed at Brussels airport going through immigration. You only do that upon arrival into a country. So, in fact, I DO know where Sam is filming in the next few days.
I'm not "inflaming" anything, "as usual," I'm simply passing on INFO given to me by sources, and posting FACTS. Literally. FACT: Sam was photographed leaving his hotel with a woman. And that's what I posted. FACT: Sam arrived in Belgium, and the TCND filming schedule shows filming in Belgium for the next few days. So, please show me where I'm "inflaming" anything.
As for Sam's assistants, yes, he's had assistants. Personal assistants are different from handlers and different from publicists, agent, managers. He had that male assistant you're referring to, he also had a young brunette female assistant years ago. He's much more famous and busy now, so I'm assuming he must have a personal assistant. The woman leaving the hotel with him in New York "could" have been his assistant...she also could have been a friend...she also could have been a date. ALL possibilities, not facts. And I stated as much.
As for Marina Campbell, she was NEVER Sam's assistant. She was originally Ron Moore's assistant and was close with Ron and his wife ex Outlander head costumer, Terry Dresbach. She became good friend with Sam, some suspect for a time possibly FWB. She was seen in photographs traveling with Sam in the early days, hiking with him, and working out with him.
Are you clear on FACTS now, Anon?
#samheughan#newyork#mystery hotel woman#mystery woman#assistant#marinacampbell#gingerjasper#the couple next door#belgium#brussels#brussels airport#facts#source#sources#dutch source#the netherlands
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