#and now moonbin is gone
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#i feel sick#like i wasnt even an active aroha#whihc now i feel even worse about#i didnt even know rocky left????#and now moonbin is gone#and i feel like im gonna puke#and i cant talk to anyone about it especially not irl because theyll just think im crazy#i feel bad :(#i love astro so much#do we even know what happened???#i havent seen anything conclusive#not that we need to know#its not really our business#god i hope his family is ok#and all his friends the guys too#obviously they arent but what else do you say
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#moonbins passing really is hitting me much worse than i thought it would. god.#my heart goes through times of feeling heavy then feeling numb then just hurting and then it starts all over again#and it feels so stupid and selfish to say but i just feel lonely the way i do when i lose someone irl and like...i didnt lose anyone#bc i didnt know him...yknow?? we werent friends. i was just a fan and i HATE feeling like a part of my life is gone now bc that...#idk. i feel like i dont have the right to feel that. its not my feeling to have but i cant just make that feeling go away but like...ahhh#i just feel so sad. not only bc hes gone but just thinking abt all his loved ones and how they must be feeling now...its painful.#🎆.txt
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i don't know how to come to terms with today and who knows when this horrible feeling will start to fade away, but i do know that whatever im feeling, his family and friends are feeling thousandfold and this should be a reminder that no one is exempt from the effects of the world surrounding them. moonbin is gone now, may he rest in the peace he deserves, but the world is still spinning and you are still here and so you can check on your loved ones and how they're faring. another bright smile has been diminished. always be kind. to yourself and to those around you. take the time to grieve if you need to. you may not have known him personally and he may not have known you, but if you've seen him, heard of him, listened to him and found comfort in him and are now feeling sad, you have every right to be. keep him and his close ones in your thoughts.
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It's Moonbin's birthday today, and Eunwoo, Sanha, and Woozi all released songs dedicated to him, and I'm an idiot so I listened to them and now I'm a mess.
Some of Bin's friends got together to celebrate, too.
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i'd just like to say, that i'm so proud of shinee, and by extention the social media accounts, for how they're handling this situation.
though what's happened is not directly about them, it will no doubt affect them. this all must be incredibly triggering, and, of course people are going to be looking a little bit closer at them, and analysing their reactions to the news. news accounts will be writing clickbaity articles, and dragging up past pain.
but, despite all of that, not only have they wanted to reassure us fans first, and tell us they love us, and share their pain and sadness with us
they've also spread messages of condolence, love & comfort across their accounts publically, to moonbin, and anyone else who may be suffering.
their twitter has gone on a short hiatus out of respect, and the shinee atoz account has sent condolences too.
it feels a bit like they've been able to share their feelings in a way that they weren't able to, or were ridiculed for back in 2018.
they're so incredibly strong, and i hope they have people to lean on, and talk to right now.
and, i hope moonbin's loved ones do too, and that they're given the respect and space they deserve, to grieve in private.
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leave before you love me - Moon Bin
INCLUDES: moonbin x fem!reader, sad content, reader doesn't want to let him go just yet.
wc: 200(?)
a/n: yet to be proofread
waking up in the morning was never this hard, his smile was always there as soon as you opened your eyes. he would always reach out his hands and gently place them on your face, staring into your eyes with nothing but adoration.
not even a week later you still imagined he was here. walking into the kitchen you smiled as you saw him making coffee for the both of you. "hi binnie." you skipped over next to him.
he looked over at you with a smile, which you refused to see was tainted in sadness. he was there after all, wasn't he?
"hi love, how are you?" he stopped what he was doing and turned to you, the saddest look on his features. he knew you weren't okay, he knew you were pretending to keep your heart safe.
"i'm good!" you beamed happily. before you knew it you were laying on the couch wrapped in his arms watching your favourite movie. a smile on your lips as he ran his fingers through your hair.
"it's time for you to sleep, my beautiful girl." his voice was soft as he tapped your hip gently. you smile up at his saddened features and walk up to your shared room.
you climbed into bed, him following shortly after, as you both get settled down, you slowly start to drift off barely catching him saying "it's messing with my head, how i mess with your heart now."
thunderstruck loudly, jolting you awake. you look next to you and see his side empty. you turn your head to face the ceiling, tears blurring your vision as your throat closes up.
he was gone.
you turn back to his side and feel the lump in your throat crawl up. you let out a quiet pained groan before burying your head in your pillow to cry.
“i had to leave before you loved me, more than i deserved” his voice echoed in your ears, why did he have to leave you?
no matter how many times you told yourself there would of been nothing you could of done or said to him, you still felt as if it was your fault.
#galacticseonghwa#astro#moonbin#astro moonbin#aroha#i love you moonbin#rest easy now beautiful#mental health matters#you matter#i miss him so bad
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The Camera panned as Kea whipped the lense, she huffed, blowing a part of her hair back before she sat up straight against her gaming chair.
She blinked a bit as she glanced at her phone.
-Keki_JG has gone live-
Looking at her camera she stayed silent, staring dead in the camera, waiting for people to join.
The lights in her recording room were off, the only light was from her phone which was anyways deem and the LD lights on her roof that glow purple to blue then back to purple.
The Instagram live began to quickly gain viewers, when there were about 10K people watching she finally spoke.
“First of all to my new followers and viewers, hi hello Sup annyeonghaseyo Dumelang or whatever, welcome to my Fandom and you're not allowed to leave it, cause we are now family now"she said while her face was neutral.
She picked up her headphones and put them on, for a few minutes as she switched her laptop on, the glow of the laptop hit her face highlighting her features.
Few clicks could be heard as she pressed some keys from her laptop, her attention on that for a bit as she listened to something for a second or to before disconnecting her headphones from her laptop and taking her headphones off.
Money Trees by Kendrick Lamar and Jay Rock started to play in the background as she racked her hands through her hair.
She is wearing vintage high waist women's dark washed baggy jeans, black scoop neck seam cut out front tee, sneaker's.
Pulling her legs up to her chest as she leaned back against the chair she looked back at the camera.
“Now that's out of the way, I'd like to just give an update about myself, last live you guys almost saw me cry” She mumbled, looking away from the camera.
“And what I want to say is-” looking at the camera she did a long pause.
“-that food I ate the was shit like Jesus” she said rolling her eyes “Kaleem is never allowed to cook pasta again” She scoffed as her Instagram live was flooded with comments.
“but that's not what I wanted to talk about on this live, I saw this post on Twitter about some kpop? I think it was kpop give me a second “She said putting her legs down to go back to her laptop.
She typed for a bit before scrolling and hummed.
“Yes it was Kpop, so I found this post about a kpop group I think it's recent group not sure but the groups name is 6us, and i have a few little words about them"she said looking away from her laptop back to the camera.
“I might just stan-”Kea said, lifting her hands up as she stood up and moved backwards still in frame of the Live.
“here me out, they smexy as hell, look like they produce good music, plus one of their representatives is a rabbit “she said laughing and snorted quietly.
“oh yeah that means my bias is obviously Han Moonbin but anyways-”She said moving back closer to the camera” that's lowkey all I wanted to say, by good night, or morning, or afternoon or whatever till next time, Kea Sighing not Signing but Sighing out bye”She said then the live ended.
-Keki_JG has ended the live-
Group belongs to successinsix
(@successinsix)
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Hey everyone. I know I haven't updated in a very long while, but I want you to know that i have been writing. I have several drafts almost ready to post. However, due to the passing of our beloved puppy-cat, Moonbin, I will not be posting for a while. I'm honestly too upset to even think about proof-reading and editing the drafts.
My heart is heavy, and it feels like I lost an older brother. I'm sure anyone reading this will feel the same. And that is completely okay. So I want to say:
Mourn. Scream at the skies. Hug your posters. But most importantly, remember to fight on. Binnie would want us to find happiness; would want us to smile and laugh again. Because he's not completely gone. He's in the grass, he's in the twitter of birds, the purr of cats and the panting of dogs. He's in the shine of the sun and the paleness of the moon.
He has become a beautiful star. A star that will proudly twinkle when we look up at him. He is eternally smiling that beautiful smile of his, and doing as he pleases in a place where he is pain-free. And I could not be happier for him in that regard.
Apart from that, I've also come to find that the Astro that raised me and got me through really hard times is no more. May that Astro rest in peace, and may we find joy in the slightly different Astro. Remember to continue giving the members and Rocky as much love as you have previously. They need it now more than ever. We are their AROHA. We will always be their AROHA, just as they will always be our idols, our role-models and in a weird way, our friends.
Well, I think that's all I have to say for now. So, please accept this virtual hug *hug* and I will see you as soon as I feel well enough to upload. If you want to find me on tumblr, it's AstrohaWritings or decaffeinatedwhispersdetective.
See you next time,
Author Astropuppycat/ Astrohawritings ♥️🫶🏼
#astro#astro kpop#kim myungjun#park jinwoo#park minhyuk#astro jinjin#astro moonbin#astro rocky#yoon sanha#update#astrohawritings#here to talk if you need#moonbin
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IMPORTANT!! mun.soya is typing...
TW: MOONBIN, SH, S00ICID3, D3PREßSI0N
it's hard for me to write about it. moonbin was someone i knew and really liked, but what i feel now goes much deeper than that. he and i were of a similar age. knowing that if i hadn't met the right people then my family would be reading such news about my death is really devastating to me. but i'm here today and i'm the one who read this about moonbin. it's comforting but also terrible that i was so close to that. my depression has subsided but not gone away, as the sh scars remind me of every day. i don't know how to deal with it now.
posts are being put on hold for an undetermined amount of time. i apologize and thank you in advance for your understanding.
i also want to take this time to remind you not to be afraid to seek help, don't ignore "gloomy thoughts" in yourself or people you know. moonbin's sudden death shows us that nothing is ever what it seems. "it's so sudden", "just yesterday in the video he was so happy". well that's just it, you never know what happens with someone behind closed doors, but you can help. please take care of yourselves.
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hello everyone, i know it has been a long while since i was last here on my account
i just wanted to quickly come here regarding the recent news of astro’s moonbin
now i don’t know much about astro or their members but my social media has been full of videos and pictures of moonbin and it does hurt my heart and brings tears to my eyes to know that someone who was just here bringing joy and smiles to their fans can be gone in an instant. i can’t imagine how their fans must feel and most especially his family and members.
i don’t know what happened exactly to moonbin, but the point of this small message is to let you know that if you’re ever feeling depressed or alone, and feeling like no one will care when you’re gone, please know that i will care. even though we might not know each other personally or at all.
i didn’t know who moonbin was until today, i don’t know much of astro, but my heart hurts and this news brings me so much sadness.
someone will always care about you, whether you know it or not, whether you know them or not
you are important and you are loved
my heart goes out to everyone who is affected by this devastating news
🤍
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I Saw You In The Stars: A Tribute to Moonbin
TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH, RELIVING SAD/ TRAGIC EVENTS
A/N: This is so hard for me to write a year later and I still don't think I’ve fully processed him being gone. This is my way of grieving and honoring bin. Remember everyone grieves differently DO NOT invalidate Arohra’s who are still grieving. Also DO NOT speak ill on moonbin it’s very disrespectful to speak ill on the dead.
POV: April 19, 2023
HEADLINE: ASTRO MEMBER MOONBIN SUDDENLY PASSES AWAY
“WHAT NO WAY THIS CAN'T BE TRUE!” Aroha stares at their phone in distress and disbelief. They had just gotten out of history class completing a fairly easy test. They leave the classroom rushing to the bathroom to fully process. “My eyes are deceiving me there’s no way he’s gone he can’t be”
Aroha stares at their phone in disbelief. Tears flow down your face, frozen in shock. “No no no please God no!.” It was true that Aroha's beloved Moonbin was gone. In the wake of this nightmare, the rumors started suddenly, the man known for his skills in both dance and vocals now has become a poster boy for idol’s deaths. Many sites post fake news, others speaking ill of his name. It was rough everyone. His family, friends in and outside the industry, bandmates, and fans alike. For some, it was their first time losing someone they admired, and for others, it wasn’t. For Aroha, It felt like a nightmare that would never end. A perpetual cycle of sadness and grief.
3 months later…….
After a long day at uni, Aroha comes home completely exasperated. Throwing their body flat on the bed of relief and comfort. Sprawled across it completely drained of energy. Quickly falling a slumber. Sleeping so hard that not even a lion's loud roar could wake them. As they slept they dreamed of an experience they could never forget.
THE DREAM……
Aroha wakes up from a bed of clouds, confused and slightly frightened; they are greeted with a familiar warm face. “Hello Aroha, how are you feeling? Bin said with his glowing smile that could light the Heavens and earth. Aroha stared in shock as tears welled and flowed down their face like a waterfall. Bin pulls Aroha into a hug, tightly and caring, comforting their aching heart. Aroha is completely unraveling in his arms trying to form words that won’t come out. “Don’t worry about trying to speak Aroha, just let it out. I know this is a shock for you.” Bin says kissing them platonically on their head.
Once Aroha could gather themself calming down a bit they pulled from Bin’s embraces, tracing his face in utter disbelief still. “You have no idea how much I missed you. '' They managed to get out their voice wavering. Bin wipes their tears, smiling warmly as tears form in his eyes. Looking into Aroha’s eyes thoughtfully. “I’m sorry I left so soon I know it was hard on you. I wasn't ready to let you go so quickly.” Bin let his head fall as he couldn’t stand to see Aroha in so much heartache and pain. He searched for the words to say how he could comfort beautiful Aroha. Barely able to utter even a syllable, Bin speaks softly “You have to be strong okay, don’t mourn me too long. I want you to be happy. Promise me Aroha you’ll be strong, eat well, and take care of the members.’’ with a trembling smile Aroha says with their hand over their heart as if they were pledging ‘’ I promise Binnie I'll try to smile again and stop weeping. Only thinking happy thoughts and the happy moments we shared. I promise to never stop supporting Astro. I’ll be there to cheer them on. I’ll look into the stars and pray your soul is resting in the hand of God, and thank him for your presence gracing the earth. I’ll never forget you bin bin. I promise!’’ Aroha finishes with a bright smile. Feeling somewhat better, getting it all out was healing in a way Aroha never expected but they were grateful. Bin puts his hand out sticking his pinky finger out and Aroha does the same; they lock their pinkies and touch thumbs, sealing the promise they made. They hugged one more time before Bin had to leave. Aroha saw bin off hugging him tightly saying their last goodbyes and I love yous. As Bin walked away he vanished slowly into thin air.
Aroha wakes from their slumber, slowly raising their head with tears still falling from their eyes. Their pillow was soaked slightly embarrassed by how much they sobbed. There was a sense of relief and ease. The feeling was hard to explain, everything just felt light. It was comforting in a way that made them feel like they were on cloud nine, it was blissful in a sense. Now every time Aroha looks in the stars for Bin they know he's at peace.
Bin Bin I see you in the stars, I love you so much thank you for everything.
The End
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In only a few hours, it will have been a year. It feels like both forever and no time at all, and still I don't know what to say. I don't think this sense of wrongness at the thought of you being gone will ever go away. The outpouring of love expressed in every single word from every friend, family member, fan, and even acquaintance in this time has only served to impress upon me what a wonderful soul you were, and how much light you brought to countless people.
I want so desperately to find the same carefree happiness I always did when watching you, and it kills me that tears are still more common than not when I try. Half a dozen songs half-finished, each one a tiny, inadequate piece of the feelings I wish I could express, now sit in piles on my desk, next to the start of a dozen projects to pay honor to your life. Yet the knowledge that they couldn't do justice to your memory, to the joy and happiness that you gave to both myself and so so many others, has left them abandoned. I want to celebrate everything you were, everything you still are, and the overwhelming amount of yourself that you shared with the world. You deserve that, and I know you would say that everyone that still feels the pain of your loss does too, but I just end up angry with myself for not being able to yet, and scared that I might never be able to.
As inadequate as it feels, the best that I can do right now is say, from the very core of my being, that I am so overwhelmingly grateful that you were here. You continue to inspire me with your kindness, your humor, your talent, and your heart, and that will be with me forever. And even if I still struggle to smile for you, I'll never stop trying. I hope you knew how loved you were, and always will be.
I miss you so fiercely Moonbin, but if there is any rest and happiness to be had beyond this life, I hope that it has found you.
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Umm so I just spent the last like 2 days crying, you never realise how much someone means to you until their gone? It's crazy because I only just saw him last year and now he's dead? I've literally never talked to him though, so I don't understand why it hurts this much? Parasocial relationships are wierd as f*ck.
Honestly I just keep thinking of Moon Sua and how she would have reacted because she literally broke down when talking to him about how she wanted him to pick up her calls more often, bit now he never will, even while typing this I'm getting teary
I don't really know what i believe about the afterlife, but I hope that wherever he is he's in a better place and I'm sending all my love to his family
Rest in peace Moonbin, you were and still are a shinning light in this mess of a world
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hi my Puppycat,
it's been a long time since you left us now. we all miss you down here.
we love you so much, even though you've gone off on a little trip into space and are far away from us, you're still in our hearts. we love you and we'll always love you no matter what happens. you're one of the most wonderful people i've seen in my life. your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your sneeze, because yes, even your sneeze is adorable.
my biggest regret is that i got to know you so late. i'd only just started to get to know you when you turned into an angel. i hope your wings are carrying you high. i hope you're sleeping well, and that everything's going well in your peaceful new world. in any case, for me, i'm still cry your loss.
this spring of 2023 was beautiful, you should have seen it. in this beautiful year of 2024, when you'll still be 25, i hope you had no regrets and that your time on earth was a good experience.
now fly high into the sky to join the stars and space. i'll always look at the moon, the stars and the dandelions flowers and think of you.
thank you MoonBin for making me smile so much.
i love you.
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it still doesn't feel real.
he is younger than me. now frozen in time.
there are so many years gone. cut short.
it hurts to think about this. about so much more than that. about love and life and loss.
that being said, I think grief is a weird thing. to miss someone I didn't even get to know personally. but I am still so immensely saddened by his passing.
may moonbin be at a better place now.
seeing all the people who love him so dearly sharing memories and songs fills me with sadness but also with warmth: he is so loved and missed.
in a few months, it will have already been a year.
how does time go by so fast.
how does it still hurt this much to remember he is really gone.
how does it still not feel real yet?
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Life Update
I know people don’t read my personal posts and that’s fine, I just need to rant.
Gods, where do I start?
Warning btw, this is highly triggering. Please take care of yourself first, don’t read if you think you might not be able to handle it.
My life is changing drastically and the things I am doing right now are more important than ever and it’s so super stressful.
My birthday is coming up on the 23rd and as usual, my dad doesn’t want me to celebrate. He says celebrating birthdays is stupid and materialistic and I hate it because I love it. For someone who has sever depression, I know how important is for me to cherish another a year I’ve successfully lived on Earth.
I’ve let go of so many things for my dad but this is one thing I just can’t.
Also my recent discovery of Astro and Moonbin still hurts.
I didn’t even know him and I love him so much but he’s gone.
The way he managed to keep everything buried is inspiring. I know it’s wrong because you have to talk to people or else things won’t get better, but I can’t talk to people. I’m not the kind of person to share that level of trust.
My mind keeps saying “Moon Bin did it right” and “You can meet him if you just do it” and the way I’ve been struggling for the past 2 weeks with work and lack of emotional support from people, it’s hard to ward off those thoughts.
On top of all this I think I might be bi and the girl I like, knows this. She thinks she might be bi too but the problem is that I’m not sure and I don’t want to get into anything right now.
My life is too stacked up.
I don’t have time to even think, and I’m thankful because if I did, then I’m sure it wouldn’t take me long to do something to stop thinking forever.
I’ve been overcome by this dire need for academic validation because that’s the only thing I get praise from people about and it’s the only thing I know how to do. Or atleast I knew how to do before things got bad and I’m trying to pick it up again. It feels like I’m nothing without it. I’ve started hanging with friends less too, but in all honesty I doubt they were even my friends and I only ever wonder if they’d feel anything if I left. For my family it’d just be one less burden.
Basically, my mental health has been shit. I had a small bout of motivation to finish Misunderstandings so I did, but I don’t think I’ll be back to regular posting for a while.
Everything hurts and I watch videos of Astro and Moon Bin to comfort myself and then moments late realize that this angel doesn’t exist anymore. I’m grieving like I knew him in real life, it’s really weird.
I wake up everyday with the same heavy feeling in my chest and wish for things to change or for it all to just go the fuck away. But it won’t.
Depression isn’t always laying in bed with no energy to do anything. It’s also fake smiles, and trying to do everything perfectly so that no one notices because if they do the reaction will be bad and will only make things worse.
I hate this.
I hate it all.
#ananya talks#astro moonbin#moonbin#tw depressing thoughts#depression#tw shitty parents#shitty friends
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