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quiteliterallyilliterate · 1 month

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MDNI

Ok, for real this time.

CW: Sex/Sexual content, not feral twilight, but he’s almost there, light marking, breeding

Reader has feminine anatomy and no pronouns.

Not proofread!!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Spring was a very prominent season among Ordon. Sure, every season had its place in their ritualistic life. But given Ordon was a small farming village, the icey cold of winter and droughts of summer didn’t provide them with much. Hell— even the goats were cranky without fresh grass to gnaw on.

But the sun would, with time, melt the snow and nourish the land. Small flowers would poke up on the edges of pathways and riverbeds. The bank would crack as the sheets of ice splintered and gave way. The grounds would soften and absorb the first rain of many months.

Link had always loved spring. As a boy, he loved the warm sun on his skin as he picked away at fresh grass, splitting the blades and getting soft dirt under his fingernails. As he grew, the season proved to be enjoyable far beyond just its temperance. Laying largely in, of course, that his job of caring for a herd of goats relied primarily on their happiness. Spring was kind to him. The sun didn’t beat at his skin, the goats didn’t groan their discontent, the work was plentiful, but pleasant.

Only one true downside sprung to mind with the season of spring. He remembers being particularly younger -perhaps his first season working as a hand with the goats- and getting rammed by a particularly competitive ram. His chest and back had minor bruises, and his palms were scraped.

It was that year he learned there was a lot more to caring for a herd of animals than simply providing them what they needed.

‘One must adjust themselves’ Fado explained as he wrapped the scrapes, ‘To the animals, you are new. Not one of them. Competition to that ram, in his eyes.’ He chuckled heartily as Link explained that he was only trying to help feed them. ‘They ain’t smart enough to know that, kiddo. Don’t you worry yerself. Now run along, I have things handled.’

The years passed. He grew familiar with the herd and they grew familiar with him. He could pick out which were particularly moody, the others more friendly. He knew their waking and feeding times to the minute. He knew which were the most prone to being lame.

But most importantly related to avoiding injury, like that of his prior example, when they’d mate.

And though he never would admit it aloud to a single soul so long as he had dignity, the idea was captivating. The thought that someone could feel the primal need to fuck so badly that the world becomes irrelevant was one he’d often entertain on quieter nights, his lungs struggling to draw steady breath as his hands wrapped around his cock. There was something about that need to rut into somewhere soft and warm and fertile never failed to draw strangled whines from his throat.

But of course, that was before he had to actually tend to said urges.

That was before his soul was shattered and welded back together with something more beast than man.

He’d found, more often than not, that a rut was more annoying than anything else. He was constantly covered in a thin sheen of sweat from his body temperature being so elevated. Worked wonders for attracting attention as a bead of sweat would travel down the contours of his muscles. However, having consistently damp sheets because of it was so annoying he’d sleep on the couch most nights. The aggression was mostly annoying because it resulted in him cursing out the goats so often he was sure he looked utterly insane.

That was, of course, not even mentioning the sexual aggression.

The weeks dragged out and the temperatures raised up. And every single night Link would come home, take a shower, eat some dinner, and proceed to spend the rest of the evening with his hands between his legs. Occasionally a pillow would find its way between strong, plush thighs, his hips bucking and grinding pathetically at the sensation. But even after his hands, thighs, stomach and bed were stained with sticky cum, another wave of mind-numbing heat would roll over him.

Notably most annoying was there was no solution. Horny as he was, the beast would shove away any lover he tried to take in distaste. It craved something special. Something specific to sate his urges and carry his kin.

At first, he thought this to be a cruel and unusual curse from Hylia. Her way of forsaking her hero who was permanently ‘tainted’. It only seemed fitting when one considers the purity culture the church possesses. That it was something beyond simply shameful to tend to temptation.

But then he met you. You who was always different. Who both him and wolf pined for. Who had him tripping over himself for your affection. You who he didn’t care about the consequences. So long has he had you.

You who did not spit at him for who he was— what he was. You who loved him regardless. You who kissed his tattoos and markings. You who reassured him during his anxiety attack, that you weren’t ’too good for him’ that he truly was deserving of love either way.

So much had shifted since then, though nothing really had at all. The both of you both still split chores and cuddled at night. But now both hemispheres of his sentience could be satisfied knowing you were his. First as a lover who he could cuddle and kiss, someone to cherish until the end of his being. And second as a mate who he could protect and claim, someone to breed and carry his pups.

Not much changed as of genuine dynamics, but his outlook most certainly had.

Spring, familiar in the back of his mind, began to bloom. The snow melted off the fields, the life returning to the woods, his mind running wild at seeing any newly exposed skin.

To some extent he felt indecent. The man in him wanted to help you prepare for the festival, to caress your warm skin and pepper your cheeks with kisses. He wanted to enjoy life at your side. The wolfish, however, wanted nothing more than to pin you to the bed and fuck you senseless. To make new life as if his own was dependent on it. The civility instilled in him was mortified with the thoughts of the primal.

But that of course, made them no less present. Nor did it made his skin no less warm, or his jealousy less looming.

Ordon never really held large events, but the equinox of each season was mutually assured to be the time to go all in. Each family would show up with multiple dishes and drinks and the festivities would last long into the early hours of the day. It was your first time at the spring festival, the children presenting you with a flower crown and giddy grins. You both ate and drank your shares, laughing among the village. Just like any other family at the table… that was, excluding the lack of little ones.

Eventually, some of the more drunken began to sing and chant, the makeshift beat and music causing some to dance and sway. Link hung back as you were tugged into the crowd by Ilia. The fading sun caught your skin, dousing it in a radiance beyond mortality. He could hear your laughter amidst the voices, clear and crisp. You were divine, he decided. Not just perfect or stunning, but someone he’d devote himself to until he had nothing left to give.

He’s actually quite unsure on how long it was he sat there in admirance. He got more than a few comments on how utterly lovesick he was for you, but it didn’t matter. Not to him. Not now you were finally his. You came back, a smile lingering on your lips as you kissed him, your hand squeezing his shoulder with some sense of urgency.

“Are you alright?” His hand, rough from a life of nothing but work, cupped your jaw with such delicacy. His voice was hushed, not wishing to draw attention to you in the case something truly was wrong. You grabbed him by the collar, demanding him closer, your lips brushing the shell of his ear as you spoke.

“I think it’s time we headed home.” And who was he to deny you? Especially not with the lilt in your voice, one that had him weak willed to your order.

He didn’t bother putting you down as he walked through the front door. He had you on the bed in seconds. He straddled your hips, a single strong hand pressing you to the mattress by the neck. His hands tugged sharply at your shirt, ripping away the fabric with a muttered promise for a new shirt. He immediately defended upon the skin, latching and sucking marks and bruises.

“Yer so fuckin’ stunning sugar” He whispered against your skin, kissing the hickey he just planted.

“All laid out f’me, huh?” His accent thickened, his teeth grazed against the fragile skin of your throat, pulling it taught in places.

“All yours, just for you” You managed to weakly affirm. He grinned, sharp and suggestive.

“All mine.” He nipped at your neck, his subconscious running crazy with the scent of your skin. Begging him once more to claim— to mark what’s his. Reverently, he kisses the lovebites he leaves. Some bleed, but his tongue travels along each ridge in the bite mark. He savours your blood on his tongue. It’s the finest drug, setting each half of his mind reeling and his own blood rushing. He travels to your perked nipples, suckling on them both in turns as his hand massages the other one.

“So good for me.” He lets his hand trail down to your thighs, pressing them open. He chuckles at how easily they spread apart. A fang drags lightly against your skin as he kissed right above your hips, directly on top of where your uterus would be.

“G’na look so pretty, all stuffed with my pups.” He looked up at you through his lashes, his hands tightening around your thighs with the look of need on your face.

“I’ll help ya’ darlin’ don’t you worry” He slid back, hooking a finger over your waistband and asking a slightly shaky “may I?”

“Please, Link I-“ His hands ripped through any clothes that separated his mouth from your cunt. His hands slid to your hips to pull them even closer to his face as he lapped away. A starving man would’ve been more civilised with their meal.

But as far as he was concerned, he was drinking the most intoxicating wine straight from the tap.

He payed no mind to your whines, nor did he slow as your thighs squeezed his head. He would occasionally dive up, his tongue toying with your clit. He lets your fingers thread hrough his hair, pulling him as close as possible before gushing into his maw. He revels in the pain of your knuckles tugging at your hair. He leans in closer, trying to drink you in even more. You tried to pull back to give him breathing room, only to be pulled back in by the hips. He licked your pussy clean, some cum still dripping down his chin. Your hips buck at the sight, a man so pussydrunk he could die of suffocation between your thighs and be happy. He gently traveled back up to kiss either of your cheeks and comb through your hair, massaging out the insides of your thighs as you resurfaced from your mind.

“Love?” He praised you in his tone alone, his forehead pressed against yours as he untangles himself from between your legs.

“Yes?” You open one half-lidded eye to see a beggar man, eyes full of such hope.

“C-Can I,-“ He didn’t need to say ask before you knew the question.

“Yes.” He’s careful, as of trying to convey to you in the motion of pressing your legs upward just how much he loves you.

Something in his eyes darkens the second he’d sunken inside your heat. He paused, letting you adjust to him and your muscles to relax.

“Fuck that greedy hole a’ yours fits me- so so well” He grumbles out, his chest rising and falling, as if staying still were truly a great effort to him. He bares his teeth, unnaturally sharp for one of his kind. His hips suddenly draw back and snap against your own, his length pushing against your cervix. He mumbles fragmented praises incoherently, slamming into you with an abusive pace, contrasted to the slow circling of your clit. His hand is so warm against your sensitive nerves, you want help but buck and wail in a desperate attempt to keep the stimulation as you get closer and closer to cumming. And you know you’re not alone— his grunts turning raspy the closer he himself gets to cumming, almost like a growl.

“Gna’ knock you up.” His hips buck out of time, but certainly no less fast. Your cunt flutters with the dizzying combination of sensations.

“You want that? My litter? Pups of our own?” Perhaps it was the near ferality in his tone that caused you to topple over. Or maybe it was his two fingers that curled around your clit. Even his cock nudging against your most sensitive bundle of nerves. He followed not too soon after, your silken walls squeezing around him must’ve been exactly the fix he’d been lusting after.

You both spent a few minutes curled up, catching your breath and letting your minds settle. You begin to shift, only to be met with a needy whine and arms around your abdomen.

“Nonono! Not yet- Please stay still” Link’s arms were loose, willing to let you go if that were your decree. You made no motion to move, much to his delight. He kneaded out any of your sore muscles and whispered praises into your hair as he played with it. Your eyelids began to flutter, sleep only staged off by his quiet whisper.

“Hey Darlin’?”

“Hm?”

“I love you. I love you so much.”

#link x reader #lu x reader #tp!link x reader #tp!link #lu twilight x reader #lu twilight #link x reader smut

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twisted-wonderland-shenanigans · 9 months

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Also for the monster au, would the babies in Twisted be more mature than the human babies, cuz they are technically premature cuz of their big head. Which is why we are wired with cuteness protection (or worse cuteness aggression) to protect the youngins.

The moment I see cute baby animals:

When it comes to the monsters, it depends on the species! A good chunk of them would be rather small because their parent species is designed for more than one offspring (or "litters/clutches" depending on the species).

That doesn't mean it's rare for them to have only one or two kids at a time, though! For example, if we were to go with the reptilian species like the basilisk, only a few eggs are viable while the rest are decoys. This is a defensive mechanism caused by instincts that hadn't quite faded over time now that monsters and other predatory creatures around Twisted Wonderland aren't as much of a threat as before.

Anyway, monster babies develop pretty quick compared to humans as in the past, they had to grow strong enough to learn to hunt and fend for themselves when their parents had to go out hunting or foraging. Nowadays, monsters have developed a pack/flock/herd/pod mentality, meaning they can live with their family for as long as necessary until they're ready to set out and find their own path.

Does this mean they can learn to talk faster? In a way, yes. Does this mean they still know what they're saying or doing? Not quite! For them, instincts and learned behaviors can take over before their consciousness fully emerges like it would for humans. For example, I first started becoming aware of the world and the things I was doing when I was maybe 4 or 5 years old (memory is a fickle thing), though I never understood why I knew what to call the things or people the things I was calling them--I just knew it was right.

Same concept for the monsters!

If we were to talk about which species would develop even faster, it would likely be any equine/ungulate based monster! The reason being is that--in the wild--animals such as deer and buffalo or antelope and even horses and goats have babies that learn to stand and run within minutes or even hours of being born. This is to ensure the survival of the baby and that they can keep up, which means that they wouldn't naturally know how to crawl like human babies would.

Here's a silly little comic done by Litterbox Comics over on Twitter! This basically gives a bit of a comparison on how fast the baby ungulates get to their little hooves 😂

Now, despite this, please accept this imagery of a baby goat loafing and picture baby faun Riddle loafing:

Basically, a good chunk of the monsters would have (and still can) loaf and are absolutely adorable to imagine. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna practice anatomy so I can draw baby monster boys loafing because I can!

Now, as for those that have human ancestry in their DNA, I can see some monsters growing a little slower than is normal for their species with no clear explanation why. There's nothing wrong with them physically or mentally. They're just taking a little longer to develop certain motor skills or learning things differently, and new young parents might be concerned and worried.

Doctor: "There's nothing wrong. They're perfectly fine and it happens sometimes. It's perfectly normal."

In the end, they do develop into the fine (chaotic) young men we know and adore~!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland monster au #twst monster au

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saytr · 6 months

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Just wanted to drop by and say I love your art! You probably get a lot of asks like this, but it truly is beautiful. Your grasp on anatomy is INSANE, and your art is really the only reason I do anatomy studies. I love how confident your lines are, how refined they are. You're an extreme inspiration to me and I really want you to know that.

Also, SIDE PROFILES (human side profiles specifically). YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THOSE ALCHLCHXHLCLLUVVI. I can barely make them look okay 😅

And even though you draw humans quite regularly, you still draw animals really well and the style is consistent.

I literally squeal over your art daily, you have no idea! I sound like a goat!

But really, I love your art, so never stop arting my friend! And if you ever do, I hope you had fun while doing so :)

What an ask, what a message! I Am honored!

First of all, i am touched and happy to know that i am an inspiration to you! And that my doodles got you interested in anatomy! It is a fun thing to draw some naked humans! Their skin and how light brings out all the musceles and how their skin bends! Such art in itself! I hope you find it as lovely as me! <3 AND have fun ofc!

Fun fact! I learned side profils by my grandpa, he was an amazing artist! He even touched the first versions of Photoshop! He tried at least to teach me the rest, but i got a short attention span when i was younger, so he just gave me his Apple Macbook and let me draw some dinos! XD And sims, i played a lot of sims on his Mac. Side profils are actually really easy, once you have a system, i may do some "How i draw XXXX" if people are interested! ;3 I drew at first only animals, dragons... But most i drew dinosaurs! Humans came WAAAY later, tried to draw humans when i was younger as well, but a family member made fun of those and i stuck with animals! HA! Till i met the actor Sebastian Roche at my city Con, and he wrote on the autograph pic: "Draw more humans" which i did. :3

Sometimes my mental health isn't the best and i take breaks from drawing, but i will return to it! I am happy that you enjoy my silly doodles and love to see more younger folks trying to get their lil feet into the colourful rainbow stream! Dive in, paddle along or float on it, your way of swimming, your style! ;D

#ask #cococroissant #personal

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horsesteak · 8 months

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“Now thank the good lordy above this absolute belter of a nook is still open in the wee hours of the day!”

The sudden blast of energy the newcomer radiated as his voice joyfully boomed through the tiny, cramped eatery was an immediate overdose for the overworked waitress. It was far too late (or rather, early, according to the man) for this sort of social interaction.

Check out Everything and Nothing by beans (with 6 e's and 6 a's) on AO3! Also check out my co-artist @gearbroth 's (!!!) art on their blog!

For the 2023 TF2 Big Bang! @tf2bigbang

~~~

See below for bonus sketches and infodump!

It's been a while since I did a big art piece like this. It was fun, and it got me experimenting with watercolour pencils for the first time. I'm still learning the craft, and as much as I want my first ever watercolour painting to be perfect, it'll have to do. I'm satisfied with my attempt this time.

Although I do wish I could capture the painting in a higher resolution; phone camera and scanner couldn't cut it, everything is still a bit blurry. Here's the best I can take on my phone:

It's also the original colours, before digital shenanigans were done to it. The work of a sleep deprived art wizard waving his silly little magic wand tool to get everything to look nicer.

The original concept for this mini-comic came to me while I was sitting under a tree, halfheartedly trying to study for my two exams the next day. I quickly sketched this:

I honestly like the lineart of this sketch better than the final. What could be better than demo's sparkley anime eyes?

I was excited I finally came up with an idea after being high and dry for weeks. Basically my mental state:

I was going to have Demo stride in, burst through that door with exuberant energy that filled the Spy's shitty dead-end cafe. And also showcase his traditional Scottish garb, which let me tell you is a whole rabbithole that I eagerly leapt into while researching for cultural accuracy. (I tend rely on real life references alot. Trying to branch out to stylised drawing would be cool.)

What happened next were these little sketches on post-it notes. I draw on them first before committing paper because...it's fun :)

Also in this case, this is a comic, so I could rearrange the drawings how I liked, so this was actually goated.

In the second image, see another case of liking the lineart more than the final. I had half a mind to keep that sketch of Spy and paint over it, but that wasn't watercolour paper, so no... :(

I was surprised how well the sketches turned out. Bloody hell, I'm an artistic genius! Now lets see how that translates to paint, eh? Well, you already know.

Some things to improve on, personally, is to make the lineart cleaner next time, so the paint doesn't mix with the pencil to make this weird greyish colour. Anatomy, always. Clothing folds is another big one. And finally, time management. Man, art is a passion, but damn does having too little time screw my art quality over. Well as they say, scarcity breeds innovation.

If you've made it this far, I am putting a virtual turtle (vurtle) in your hand, because turtles are cool, and you are too.

As a bonus bonus to this info-dump, have the original concept sketch while I was feeling out how to draw Demo in formal Scottish suit and kilt.

THAT IS ALL.

#tf2bigbang2023 #tf2 #demoman #tf2 spy #demospy #bomb voyage #tf2 demoman #might add image descriptions later if people want

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ask-utmv-shipkids · 9 months

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Well, at least I tried. This is a job that I had been planning for a long time, but it never fully convinced me. It would be a comic of around 11 parts that would narrate an introduction, in this Paper Jam would briefly take the leading role alongside other ship children. Have mercy on me, I'm not used to drawing, but to writing. The story is finished on my AO3 account, but I wanted to bring it to Tumblr to practice my drawing improvement. I don't promise to update it frequently, it's just for entertainment. I will focus more on continuing the Q&A Blog.

I don't know how to draw humanoid goats.

Sorry if my anatomy is mediocre, I'm still improving it.

There will be no NSFW.

Character will have (as much as possible) their cannon personalities.

The comic will be mostly in black and white. Why? Shading and coloring takes me a lot of time.

It will mostly be about Ship Kids, and maybe some Sans. But there will also be a lot more characters like Toriel or Alphys.

For now, most of the chapters written take the lead of Paper Jam, Gradient, Goth, Blueprint, Merciless, Stain and Plum.

By the way, Paper Jam belongs to: @7goodangel.

BONUS: This will be mostly in English, but I also has a Spanish version, for those who want to learn or don't know English very well.

#paperjam sans #ship child #utmv #undertale au #undertale aus #webcomics #ao3 writer #you can also find it in wattpad #because..why not?#bad anatomy ngl

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humburgerr · 6 months

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The Maiden’s Dart (a Percy Jackson fanfiction, first part of the “Sacred Blood” series)

Chapter 1: (LEA) “Welcome to my life, I guess…”

I don’t hate flying.

Like, really, flying is cool: I was six when I first had a plane ride. I recall quite clearly how amazed I was when I glanced out of the window and I saw the mountaintops deep below us, and I will never forget how excited I was, two years later, when dad decided to take me horse-riding with him. The old black pegasus neighed quite a bit when the both of us settled on his back, my father’s arms around me, so that I wouldn’t fall off, as he laughed.

- Blackjack, you know that doughnuts aren’t good for your health! - He told the pegasus.

Then, uncle Jason’s strong grip around me as we darted across the sky Superman style, feeling the cool breeze of Summer’s clouded evenings and joking and laughing…

Yeah, flying is cool, a lot of my good memories are associated with it.

Does that mean I love flying?

Hah, nope.

But let’s start by the beginning of the story, shall we?

It all started last winter, when Athena, my divine granny and caretaker had the incredible incredibly terrible idea that I somehow needed to start practicing early to get my driving licence as soon as possible when I turned sixteen.

Now, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea, right? WRONG.

The thing is, although in the last thirty years or so the gods tried to be closer to their half-blood children, and although many of them actually became better parents, they - being these immortal, super-powerful cosmic beings - still had some trouble actually understanding the way mortal bodies worked, and how many limitations they actually had. They just assumed we had been much like minor deities all along, minus the immortality feat and the sick powers.

So, like, if the King of the gods lost his Master Bolt, none of them saw a gargantuan logic fallacy in assuming that it had been stolen by some weird kid with ADHD. Hermes had stolen Apollo’s cattle mere hours after his birth, after all.

You can imagine the shock when Will Solace, the newly appointed GoAT (as in Godly Anatomy Teacher, and not Mr. Underwood’s lower half) explained to them how slowly human grew up, and how they had to learn everything from scratch. Oh, the look of absolute horror on the gods’ face when they learned that humans shed their first set of teeth and grew new ones.

Now, most of the gods were taking these anatomy lessons very seriously, but some of them… well, let’s say that some gods really liked to skip class.

Granny Athena was one of the latter. Being the goddess of knowledge, she felt extremely disgusted by the thought that she would have needed to learn something - anything - from a mere mortal. Being the goddess of wisdom, she also should have known better than to give up a chance to expand her knowledge.

If you know Athena, however, you probably also know that she is prideful. Too prideful for her own good, I might say (but I won’t).

Anyway, one morning I woke up with the goddess of wisdom storming into my bedroom, up in Mt. Olympus. If I had been a bit more awake and in control of myself, perhaps I would have suppressed it, but given that I had woken up in that same instant and my brain was still set in “this is a dream, you can do whatever you want” mode, I gave her a quick look and burst out laughing right at her face.

She was dressed like a traffic officer, with the uniform and the plastic helmet over her head, the white gloves and the traffic signs hanging from her belt, right near a plastic walkie-talkie. The fact is, the uniform was too perfect, the helmet a bit too shiny, the boots looked like they had never seen a real road in their entire life. She looked less like a real cop and more like a silly tv advertiser, one that stood near a row of happy children traversing the road and said to the camera something like: Make people happy, join our lines! It will be fun, I swear! The kind of propaganda that would have won over the kids in New Rome after like three seconds.

Athena gave me one of her bad looks, and I thanked the Universe that she wasn’t the goddess of gravity, because otherwise my entire body would have been completely splattered all over the pristine clean marble floor. However, her glance still managed to send shivers down my spine and to make my laughter run straight back into my throat.

Finally, she averted her eyes and I started breathing again.

- Gra… Lady Athena. - I caught myself before calling her granny.

- Achillea, - my full name felt like an icy stab in the gut, and she probably noticed, because her voice slightly softened - get dressed, Hatchling. We are going out for a while. I’ll wait for you in the throne room.

Then she vanished into thin air, like she had never been there.

I stared at the door for what felt like a solid minute, with my brain whispering in my ear that it would’ve been pretty sweet if I put my insomniac butt back to sleep. I agreed with my brain for maybe half a second, then the look in Athena’s eyes came to haunt my mind again, and I got out of bed.

“But the pillows! - My brain pleaded - The soft blankets!”

“I know buddy. - I told my brain - but we heard sweet old granny.”

My brain fell silent, which, me being me, was a pretty common occurrence.

The moment my bare feet touched the floor, invisible hands began to fold the blankets, straight up the pillow and generally remake the bed. The maids talked to each other in a sweet, low hum, their words so whispered that I had trouble hearing the full sentences. I cleared my throat, and they became perfectly silent, and totally still, I could guess, since I couldn’t hear their soft breeze anymore.

- Well, guess I’ll be going to take a shower and get dressed. If you need anything, you know where to find me.

I was about to leave the room, when one of the maids spoke up.

- M’Lady, - she started, and by the low hum of her voice, I could identify her as Mia, the First Maid - Lady Athena has sent another servant to your baths.

My veins frosted.

- What.

The maids started whispering to each other, and even tho I couldn’t fully hear them, I picked up a few words: angry… spite… punishment…

It took me an instant to put two and two together. They feared I was angry, and that, since I couldn’t lash out at my divine granny, I would punish them instead. It took me slightly more to realise that I spoke to them in a cold, firm tone, and that I unconsciously channeled some of my power to make that sound even more intimidating.

I regained my cool.

- Hey girls, - I said in a much more informal tone - I didn’t mean to scare you, really. And I am not angry. Neither towards you, nor towards my grandma. It’s just that I felt… surprised.

Surprised wasn’t the word I was thinking at. And, to be fair, I was hating Granny Athena a little bit, but I wouldn’t have dared to punish these friendly spirits just for that.

Mia spoke again.

- If it displeases you so much, M’Lady, I could still tell the servant to leave the place. We truly understand, that after what happened with Rya-

- That was just an incident! - I interrupted her, careful, this time, not to scare them anymore - It was just an unhappy incident.

None of them replied, and if I must guess, they all nodded in agreement.

I waved my hand, and left them to their tidying.

My bedroom was on the farthest side of my small apartment, which was on the farthest side of Athena’s palace, on Mt. Olympus.

Perhaps you might really want to know why I live in Olympus, and not at Camp Half-Blood in New Athens, with the rest of my family? Am I, maybe, a goddess? Did I give up my mortal shell to bloom into a beautiful, undying being?

No, I am very, very human. And well… to say it with an understatement, it is fairly complicated. I didn’t choose to live here, not exactly. It just came with the age, I could say. One day Athena showed up in our living room and demanded for my mom and my dad to give me to her. I don’t remember the details, because as soon as the conversation heated, mom sent me and my big brother, Michael, to play outside.

Then, Athena came out, told me to pack my things, and we both disappeared from our backyard in a ray of cold light.

The End.

Now, now, I can imagine what you are thinking: “OmG LEA WerE yOu AbDUctEd?”

No, I don’t think so. Well, at least I hope not.

From what Athena told me after that, my parents were having troubles with me: my powers were too great, and they were showing up too fast for them to really be prepared to handle the situation. They, however, were stubborn. They really didn’t want to let go of me (and can you really blame them?) but at the same time they didn’t know what to do. Basically, things were getting really dangerous. For me, and for those around me. That’s when my grandmother stepped in and decided to take matters into her own hands.

So, I get to see my parents and my brother during summertime and during mortal festivities such at Christmas and Easter and so on. For the rest of the year, I stay up above the clouds with the gods. I guess I should consider myself lucky, because at first Athena wanted me to stay up here all year round, and trust me, you don’t want to stay up here all year round. Everyone who stayed beside the gods nonstop would either go insane or become as petty as them. And I sincerely can’t decide what might be worse.

Anyway, my apartment had a circular shape, like a Thòlos, although I preferred to think of it as a Monòpteros, the latter not being the direct definition of a Micaenean tomb.

The main walls were surrounded, on the outside, by a circle of twelve white marble columns, each of one bearing the vessel of a different Olympian. It was supposed to be some sort of protection (I didn’t dare to look into it), but to me it mostly seemed like each member of the gods’ Assembly had tried to claim a part of the house for themselves.

On the inside, it was much more cozy: the Central Room’s marble floor was enchanted so that it could appear like any type of pavement i could wish for, and most of the time it showed a forest soil filled to the brim with beautifully colored leaves, like the ones that fell from trees during Fall. As I walked through, however, I noticed that the floor was showing a different scene: sand. Beautiful golden sand, ad if I looked hard enough, I could even spot a seashell here and there. This made me smile. Christmas time was near, and with that, my homecoming was drawing closer at hand. I already felt nostalgic.

As I passed by, I waved my hand at the little girl who tended the fire, right in the middle of the room.

She somehow had the power to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. She was right at the Heart of Olympus, in the Throne Room, to make sure that the gods got at least a bit along, and then she was in her own small temple in New Athens, where old campers could ask for guidance of just stop by to have a little chat. She was in Camp Half-Blood’s dining hall too, making sure that all offerings would be split up evenly among the gods.

Hestia wasn’t a difficult goddess, and she didn’t play favourites.

She simply took good care if the fires, and showed up wherever she felt like she was needed.

Since that day of almost eight years ago, when Athena brought me to Olympus with her, the goddess of the Heart stood by my side every single day.

When she didn’t respond to my greeting, I instantly knew something was wrong. Upon closer inspection, in became clear that something was bothering her. She was looking deep into the flames with a frowned expression. No, not just frowned. I knew that something else was happening, that she wasn’t simply looking at the flames, she was seeing straight trough them, as if they were some sort of holo-screen that let her browse for informations.

- Lady Hestia! - I called for her, managing to get her attention, if only briefly - Is everything all-right?

She looked at me wide eyed for a single second, and then she turned back to the fire.

- Oh, good morning dear… - she said with a soft voice that immediately warmed my heart - Yes, everything’s okay, why shouldn’t it be? Don’t worry, dear. Athena’s waiting for you.

She said nothing more, and focused back to the flames.

Don’t worry. As if. The thing about Hestia is that she is so genuinely kind that everyone among gods, demigods, and even some monsters, tends to grow quite fond of her. This means, obviously, that if Hestia has a problem, it becomes everyone’s problem. Because no-one, no-one, wants to see Hestia suffer.

As much as I wanted to help her, however, I figured that wouldn’t be of much aid if my grumpy granny turned me into dust for being late, so I headed for the bathroom.

As soon as I entered, she smell of saltiness spread through my nostrils, and I felt like I was standing right on the seashore. The bathroom’s walls were painted pearl-pink, with sea-green marble furniture. The style was a strange mashup of minimalism and ancient greek sculpture, which made the gods’ bas-relieves carved into the sides of the sink and the bath tub seem like strangely shaped stick-men. The scene of Stick-Apollo fighting Stick-Hercules over a tripod had ben carved right into the lower half of the toilet, and I was been pretty sure that it had been Artemis’ idea.

When I looked at the figure of Stick-Hercules, my brain sprung shortly back to life.

“That’s where you belong, you scumhead!”

Then it fell asleep again.

I flinched, and for a short instant my hands trembled. A familiar sense of headache pierced my head, as if I had just forgot something vital.

Then I shook my head, and the sensation was blown away like petals scattered by the wind.

Something moved at the side of my vision and I reacted faster than I could think. In the blink of an eye I found myself with one hand pressing against a girl’s neck, and the other closed in a fist, fully loaded with adrenaline and ready to strike right at her solar plexus.

- Oh my gods! - the girl squeaked, barely able to hide the rush of terror that had clearly taken her - Do you try to kill every maid that Lady Athena sends you!?

I blinked a couple of times, while my brain translated those words into informations. Then I paled, and let her go. I hadn’t even realised that I had pinned her against the wall.

- Oh my… I’m so, so sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to-

I tried to mutter some apologies, but she raised her hand to stop me, and released a long, shaky breath.

- No, no, that’s okay I guess. Lord Poseidon had warned me that you were quite the wild horse. I don’t know why I dared to expect to meet you in a different way.

When she named my godly grandfather, I took a step backwards and took a good look at her.

She was slightly taller than me, probably by an inch or two, and her skin was grey. She had wide eyes, perhaps a little bit too wide, and they were totally black. She was slim, athletic, with large shoulders and long, webbed fingers. Each of her nails was carefully painted with stylised images of fishes. She had long, kelp-like hair, although this specific type of kelp was bioluminescent and gleamed neon blue light.

She wore a simple blue chiton, and nothing more.

- A nereid - I guessed. A very strange nereid. But I kept the last part for myself.

- Yep.

After a moment of awkward silence, I extended my hand.

- I imagine you already know my name, but please, do not call me Achillea, nor M’Lady. Lea is good enough.

She studied my hand, probably wondering if it was poisoned or boobytrapped with invisible fart-trinkets, but then she shook it with some good energy.

- Ichtya. And don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on calling you M’Lady anyway.

After this first bizzarre encounter, Ichtya the fish nereid and I got to work. I made instantly clear that I was pretty capable of showering by myself and that, no, she didn’t need to clean my butt for me. What she could do, however, was to help me with the scheduling of the bathroom. It wasn’t much, just preparing my toothbrush while I was busy in the shower, putting my laundry right at hand’s reach while I dried myself… as I said, small things that gave me a few seconds of advantage.

- Thank you, really. - I said while she brushed my hair, a task that I was never capable of bringing myself to do.

Her cheeks assumed a slightly darker shade of grey.

- No need to thank me. - She said, but I could feel she had very much appreciated the gesture.

I took a moment to look at my reflection in the mirror: a blonde, sea-green eyed five and an half feet tall girl looked back at me. The girl’s lightly tanned skin, my skin, was full of old scars and bruises, and a sea of clear freckles spread around my nose and my shoulders. The fact that I could see them, even if with some difficult, made my mouth twitch. I looked at my athletic, slightly muscular body for a more few seconds, then I reached out to Ichtya.

She handed me the white, simple peplum, and helped me put it on. The fabric immediately shifted and began to change. The tickling sensation almost made me laugh again. And then I found myself wearing a pair of worn-out light grey jeans and a sleeveless blue T-shirt with a black hippocampus printed on it.

- Wow… - Ichtya whispered, amazed - You really wear these things on a daily basis?

- Uhh… yes? Why shouldn’t I?

She looked embarrassed.

- The only being I’ve ever seen wearing mortal clothes was Lord Poseidon, so I just thought… well…

She didn’t dare to finish the sentence, but she didn’t need too. I nodded sympathetically, imagining a world where everyone wore gross Hawaiian shirts and crocks. The thought alone made me shiver. The girl really needed some good shopping time. This was the least I could think of to restore her faith in humanity.

Then I remembered good old granny, and I left the nereid to her new duties.

Thank the gods I was very, very fast. A normal person would have needed at least thirty minutes to traverse the Olympian Gardens at full running speed. I jogged into the Throne Room in half the time, and yet when Athena looked up from the anatomy text she was reading, I knew that I still was about to get scolded.

- You’re late. - She said. And that was all. But she didn’t need to say anything else. Her cold voice had been harsh enough tor me to tremble before her. I nodded, trying not to look at her in the eyes, but it was impossible. They were like magnets.

As she got up from her throne, I gladly saw that she had changed: instead of the silly advertiser uniform, she now wore her usual sleeveless peplum, adorned with glittering gold edges.

Her stormy grey eyes were still fixed on me. She wore her raven hair down on her shoulders and her pale skin radiated a weak, cold light, that conferred her a certain holiness. If anyone saw me and her side to side, they would’ve never guessed that I was her daughter’s child. Athena looked young enough to be beautiful and old enough to be considered wise. I knew that gods existed in many planes of reality at once, and so that people could see them in totally different ways, but to me she looked like she was in her mid-thirties. An high-school teacher, perhaps. A very lethal high-school teacher.

I averted my eyes from her, and glanced around.

Hestia took care of the Heart, but aside from her, and us, the room was completely empty. As Athena advanced in my direction, her form shrank, until she was about the same size of a normal young woman. She reached her hand out.

I gulped, and then I took it.

Her light blinded me, and the next second we were standing in front of the Bestiarium, the chamber of beasts and monsters. One of the strange additions of my mother’s design, after the Second Titan War.

- Why? - I asked.

- Lesson One. - The goddess replied, before pointing at the enormous bronze doors that towered before us.

They must have been at least sixty feet high, and were adorned from top to bottom with figures of monsters and other mythological creatures. Unlike the ones in my bathrooms, these bas-relieves were so realistic that I almost feared the hellhound would detach from the doors and launch itself straight at me.

- Lesson One? What does it mean?!

The doors opened soundlessly, and the goddess of wisdom escorted me inside.

- It means - she said as we passed through a corridor that was as large as a football field and seemed to have no end - that you will be sixteen soon, Hatchling, and as soon as you age properly, you’ll have to get your godly license.

- My what?!

- Your godly driving license. - She explained, while we walked past one of the cages. The Hydra inside raised her fourteen heads and looked at us, then she went back to sleep.

Athena kept talking.

- Every god has one. Without it, we would be legally restricted from performing air travel, or flying around the world with our godly mounts. Demigods usually do not need it, because they never fly that high, and there is only that much speed that a pegasus can take, but there have been certain… cases… when we had to make an exception.

She then fixed her eyes on me, and I squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze. She kept staring, as if she truly believed that I could give her the names. We walked in silence for another minute, while I tried to remember some of these so called ‘cases’.

- Uhmm… - I said at last - … Phaethon?

Athena nodded.

- That guy was a total mess. - She recalled - He tried to drive the Sun Chariot even before we could give him his first class. You have no idea of how enraged Zeus was when he saw that punk on the heavenly roads.

- Phaethon was a son of Helios, right? - I asked - He set the sky ablaze and created the Milky Way.

- And my father blasted him out of the skies with one of his Bolts. Helios was fired and Selene resigned in protest, and the chariots were inherited by the twins. That - Athena said - had been a very messed up week.

- Anyone else that you remember? - She asked.

I frowned, and then a name came up in my mind. Yes, obvious. It was one of the most famous stories.

- That guy with Pegasus. The one that slew the first Chimera. The one that murdered Bellero, king of Corynth, and took his throne.

Athena’s lips curved slightly upward, and she nodded in agreement.

- His true name was Hipponoos, but people still remember him as Bellerophon, ‘Bellero’s Murderer’. He was one of mine, you know. I gave him the license myself. He was intelligent, knowledgeable. He became a worldwide known hero, who even managed to tame Pegasus himself. He could have lived as a king, but his hybris got the hold of him. His arrogance drove him to think that he could reach the gods, that he could fly even higher than us. Father didn’t like that, and neither did I.

She didn’t need to tell any further for me to know how the poor guy met his demise.

I recalled that one time when Grandpa Poseidon held a meeting with the immortal lord of horses: Pegasus had strange, long scar lines all’over his hide, that reminded me a lot of lightning streaks. Now I knew how he got them.

We walked side by side, and I listened to the many stories she told me. It felt less like a lecture and more like a deep dive into the clean waters of the past. Her tales flooded my mind: tales of demigods and mortals who dreamed of the stars, and tried to reach them in so many ways.

She told me of the first hot-hair balloon, of the Wright brothers and of Leonardo’s tragic attempt at rebuilding Dedalus’ wings. She told me of long dead children and of many former lovers of hers.

Then we stopped.

- Here we are - I heard her say - hi Glaux, long time no see, huh?

[END OF CHAPTER 1]

#percy jackon and the olympians #rick riordan #annabeth chase #legacy of gods #pjo #hoo #fanfic #fandom #fantasy #original character #oc #poseiden #athena

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anthropolite · 2 years

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So How Does a Centaur Eat Anyway? (from https://www.tor.com/2017/04/03/so-how-does-a-centaur-eat-anyway/) This is entirely the fault of the staff writers. Also, the weather. I take no responsibility for the consequences.

So they were all a bit loopy from the latest blizzard, and got to talking, as one does, and shortly thereafter, I received the following:

Our staff writers were just debating how centaurs work (it’s been a long, slushy week, in our defense!), and how, for example, they would eat: do they have horse stomachs or human stomachs?

And here was I, in equally terrible but diametrically opposite weather–the heat had truly gone to my evil little head. I pondered for exactly three and a half seconds before concluding that that is a very good question. A very good question indeed.

A quick wielding of the google reveals that the subject of centaur anatomy has been much discussed and debated over the centuries. Anatomical drawings and recreations are remarkably numerous; I’m particularly taken with this elegant example. There is even a learned monograph by an eminent pseudoscientist who goes by the handle Univ.-Prof. Dr. Dr. H.C. Reinhard V. Putz, in the Annals of Improbable Research, of course. Nor has Tor.com been absent from the debate. In 2012, Robert Lamb offered a brief disquisition on the subject, essentially quoting Reinhard.

The upshot of all this is that because the Centaur’s delivery system for nutrition is a human or humanoid head and torso—therefore a human-sized jaw, teeth, and esophagus—the Centaur must necessarily live on human food, and its horse stomach will have been modified to accommodate an omnivorous diet. The Greek tradition backs this up, with Centaurs eating bread and meat and drinking wine. There is no way the conventional Centaur can chew grass or hay with a human jaw, let alone consume it in sufficient quantities to support the mass of its body. Just look at what a horse needs to get the job done.

A nice discussion here gets into details and logistics. One commenter notes that the bulk of the horse half would point toward the Centaur having equine-type nutritional needs and the corresponding colic problems: i.e., needing a high-fiber diet, needing to keep moving while it eats, and needing high volumes of water to keep the system in motion. In short, a one-way digestive system, for which stoppages or blockages can be fatal.

As for why this would have to be the case, even if the horse half had a human-style stomach, with the ability to vomit, the small size of the neck and head would make it all too likely the Centaur would drown if its horse-sized stomach tried to back up through its human-sized esophagus.

One way to get around the issue is to size the Centaur down considerably. If the human half is average human size, the equine half would be small-pony-sized or even goat-sized. Not very noble or imposing, but somewhat more logistically possible.

But really, who wants a six-limbed Satyr when we can have a full-sized Centaur? We can bear in mind that ancient Greek horses were considerably smaller than the modern variety. Probably not as much as the Parthenon friezes might indicate—at least some of that may have been convention, to make humans look bigger and therefore more impressive—but they were still under fifteen hands, and probably well under. Pony-sized, in short.

A well-built pony or small horse can easily carry an adult male, so if the Centaur is fourteen hands or so at what would be his withers (if he didn’t spring up into the human torso), he still has plenty of substance. But then what does he eat? And how does he process it?

If his human segment is essentially a stalk to support the brain, with perhaps a secondary set of heart and lungs to augment the ones in the horse half, and an elongated esophagus leading to the enlarged digestive system in the horse segment, most of the action will happen down in the horse part. If I were designing the organism, I would definitely substitute an omnivore’s stomach and intestines, because the horse version is so prone to failure. So I tend to agree with that line of thought.

The issue of backup and drowning would have to be resolved somehow. Extra stomachs for extra processing, like a bovine? A sphincter down around the area where the navel would be in a human, to void excess gas and liquid? (The logistics of that could get interesting. Centaur wears essentially a sporran, to catch the overflow. Could be developed into elaborate ritual garment with much decoration, and contents would be emptied in privacy, perhaps buried or washed away with appropriate ceremony, like various cultures’ female menstrual traditions.)

Even if the Centaur can function as an omnivore, he’ll still need to consume enough calories to support at least 750 pounds/340 kilograms of muscle and bone. That means he eats constantly, and he eats a lot. He drinks copiously, too—and if he’s Greek, that means barrels of wine. His manure will be… fragrant. Very fragrant. You’ll be able to smell a Centaur encampment from a long ways away, unless the Centaurs are obsessive about sanitation.

There really isn’t a plausible way to keep the horse digestive system intact, because it can’t process the diet that’s coming through the human half, and because there’s no way the human half can chew and swallow multiple pounds of fodder every day. Unless…

A herbivore has to graze constantly in order to support the bulk of its body, because a grass and forage diet while high in fiber is low in calories. An equine also needs to grind the forage thoroughly, and hydrate it well, in order to process it. I’ve noted that human teeth are not adequate for this.

But if the human segment were essentially support for the brain and the first set of heart and lungs—various internet commenters arguing that the human brain is too small to operate the whole body are apparently unaware that a full-sized horse’s brain is the size of a human fist—and the equine segment contains the second and much larger lungs and heart plus the digestive and the reproductive systems, along with additional essential organs including liver and kidneys, there just may be room in the human torso, where the mass of the stomach, intestines, and the liver and lights would normally go, to house an organ unique to the Centaur.

(Editor’s note: Judith’s solution is too horrifying for us to consider further. We’re sorry we asked for this, you’ll have to continue on without us…)

That would be something like an elephant’s trunk, but with an extended jaw and grinding teeth. When not in use it would coil in the human segment’s abdominal cavity. It would extrude through an orifice in the join between the human and horse halves, and hoover along happily while the Centaur thinks great thoughts and instructs its fellow Centaurs and its human students therein.

The trunk has the added virtue of being able to drink as well as eat, so that while the human mouth will do some drinking and a moderate amount of eating—strictly vegetarian, of course, and shading toward vegan—the whole organism receives most of its nutrition through the alternative route. Centaur feasts would extremely interesting proceedings, though in the presence of human guests, the ultra-civilized Centaurs would be careful to restrict themselves to their human eating apparatus.

This might explain both the Greek belief that Centaurs eat like humans, and the Cretan Centaur, which was essentially a human, with human legs, but attached to the hindquarters of a horse. Observers would think that the trunk was a very large reproductive organ, and matrix the forelegs into human legs. But no, the actual Centaur is constructed like a horse in that respect (and if female, that’s a good thing, because Centaur babies would be much too large to emerge through a human birth canal).

All in all, I’d say it’s possible to engineer a Centaur that works, but the straight splicing of human torso on equine body isn’t going to do it. I’m with Team Omnivore and Team Modified Equine Digestive System myself, but if we get to think outside the box, I kind of like the idea of the additional grazing mechanism. Especially if we’re playing with fantasy or science fiction worldbuilding, and designing our own version of the species.

#centaurs

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han-the-vampiricyoshi · 2 years

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What I learned from Youtube the past couple of days:

Cows have a more heart-shaped hoof and bulls have a more rounded hoof.

#farm kid stuff #farm stuff #farm animals #cattle #link is to the youtuber who's a hoof trimmer in scotland #i found these videos very interesting #as a previous farm kid #we had horses and a donkey when i was growing up #as well as sheep and goats but they didn't get trimmed very often at all #it's my opinion that horses are cleaner than cattle XD #but still it's fascinating #science #learning so much about anatomy here

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momolady · 3 years

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Strigoi Boyfriend: Briareos 2

Supernatural conversation is very important.

Female Reader x Male Monster (both cis)

Dr. Navaro and Irini are introduced to Briareos not long after your return. Dr. Navaro is interested from a scientific standpoint, wanting to learn about his anatomy. Irini has her own motivations, but she is also interested in what he is able to learn. Better yet, she wants to know what he remembers, since his age is quite advanced.

Briareos’ shapeshifting abilities come into play, and he takes a more human-looking guise when Dr. Navaro and Irini visit. He doesn’t care to wear much clothing, just some trousers and a coat, which seems to elicit a reaction from both parties. “Now, how can we be so certain you are not mind-controlling our dear friend?” Irini asks him one day, luxuriating on a sofa while Briareos stands before the fire.

“Because I would be most unlike myself,” you speak for him. “and my eyes would be rolled into the back of my head.”

“Fascinating,” Dr. Navaro whispers, adjusting his glasses. “What do you do in order to control someone?”

Briareos’ gaze goes into the fireplace before turning and looking back at him. “It is easier to control someone who has too much vague noise in their mind. Someone who is charming might have an influence over me. It is best to find someone who has very little between the ears.”

Irini is grinning from ear to ear. “So you’re saying stupid people make the best targets?”

“There are plenty of intelligent people who are empty-headed,” you continue speaking for Briareos. “But the goats were very friendly towards us. They made wonderful companions on our journey down the mountain.”

“I wonder if this is where the visage of the devil came from,” Irini begins to ponder. “Perhaps a Strigoi, ages ago, shifted into a goat and was caught by someone who claimed they were the devil.” Her bright smile becomes even brighter. “Our lady here told us Strigoi had started quite a lot of myths because of their abilities. Perhaps you are the devil also.”

Briareos smiles towards Irini and nods his head. “Back when we were numerous, we took pleasure in frightening humans. Perhaps that hindered us more than helped us.”

“How many of you are there?” Dr. Navaro asks.

Briareos goes quiet in your mind, and glares at the doctor before he turns away to sit in a large chair. He looks back to the fire, his eyes and throat glowing despite his guise.

“He doesn’t want to talk about it.” You move towards the center of the room. “I think he is growing tired. We can talk more tomorrow.” You usher Irini and Dr. Navaro towards the stairs, seeing them up before you go back down. Briareos has stripped off the clothes you gave him to wear, as well as his human visage. He stands before the fire, skin glowing with the radiance of the flames. You approach him, standing near the edge of the room while he stares into the fireplace, then walk past him to the table to pour a cup of tea. As soon as you set the teapot aside Briareos is behind you, breathing against your neck.

You add sugar to your tea and take a sip. “You’ll have to answer their questions eventually. They should know you are able to at least communicate with them and not just through me.”

“I don’t wish to talk about the others,” He growls in your mind. “I came here because of your promise.”

“They will be your friends too, if you allow them. They are good people who want to help. The more we know, the better we can understand, the better we can teach, and the less fear will permeate the world.”

His sharp finger brushes up the back of your neck, sending tingling pulses through your body. “I am learning about them.” He captures a curl at the nape of your neck that has worked loose from your bun. He tugs on it, inching in close to lick your skin.

You take another sip of tea, burning your tongue just a bit. “What do you need to know?” You set the cup down, because your hands are shaking.

“If they will take my people as seriously as they take their own.” He begins pulling up your skirt and touching your bare skin. “You said they would be willing to help build the next generation. If that is the case, I must be certain they are worthy of my brother and sister.”

You smirk to yourself. “So you have siblings.”

Briareos bends you over the table, pulling your skirts all the way up. “I knew you the moment I could hear you whispering in the distance of my mind.” His hands massage your rear, cupping it tightly and then slapping it. “I chose you as my mate because already our minds had been bonded. That is how I know you like this.”

You’re biting your lip, moaning with pleasure as he strikes you. “A little pain is good for growing.” You look over your shoulder. “Both for you and for me.”

Briareos watches you closely, his eyes glowing, his throat rumbling. He rubs your arse before clapping his palm to the flesh again. “Do you know how we used to take mates back in the day?” He soundly slaps you again. You can feel yourself dripping down your thigh.

“Stories of kidnappings are quite prevalent in my grandfather’s journal.”

Briareos bends down, kissing and biting your flesh. “Minds like yours and mine would call out to each other.” His tongue laps over your skin as he speaks into your mind. “The Strigoi would come down and take their humans, but only if they were clean.” He smites your arse again.

You whimper and moan in pleasure. “What dictates clean?”

“No intoxicants, no pregnancies. And no children.” He spreads your cheeks apart to find your slit dripping wet and hot. He presses his fingers inside you and opens them inside to see within you. “But those were the days before the vampires came into existence, before your ancestors and their blood feud.” He bites your thigh and begins moving his fingers inside you. “Which brings me back to my earlier statement. Trust must be earned.” He rises back up, his fingers still buried inside you.

“I understand,” you mewl. Your cheek is smashed against the tabletop.

Briareos stands behind you and grabs your hands, holding both wrists in one hand while the other pushes against your lower back. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, my mate,” you moan.

You take his cock, having come to know every inch of him. His voice rumbles deep inside your mind as he moves deeper. He lets go of your wrists and turns you on your side, placing your leg over his shoulder. From this angle you can see everything - the tension on his sharp face, his cock as it moves inside you.

“Briareos,” you moan to him, “harder.”

Briareos bucks hard, shaking the table. You cry out, eyes rolling into the back of your head, mind going blank. If he wants mind control, now is the opportune time. You rake your nails up his arm before grabbing him roughly. Your body shakes, and your legs spasm before you jerk your hips to meet him. He stills, grabbing your leg so you can’t move. He releases, and you know he won’t pull out again for a while.

He lies with you before the fire, and you both remain silent for a long while.

“I had a mate like you once, before I had to take my people deep into the mountains. She was tender and sweet, but she was ravenous like you. She gave me three sons before her family had her burned.”

You sit up and look at him. “I’m sorry, Briareos.”

“My sons sought revenge when they were older, and it was the bloodlust that changed them.” He sits up and glares hatefully into your eyes.

You touch his face, and he hides his eyes against your palm. “Vampires,” you whisper.

Briareo’s snarls and his lip curls up. “They lost control and became some of the first.” He looks back at you. “What mankind thought of us, we eventually became. For better or worse, I am not sure what this change was.”

You press your forehead to his. “Do you know where they are? Your sons?”

“I sometimes feel them, but no.” Briareos stands up. “They lost who they were, so I am uncertain if they even remember me.”

You follow after him, your hand on his back. The ridge of his spine is covered with downy fur, terminating in a short tail. You kiss his back and feel him shiver. “I’m sorry. I wish I knew what to say or how to help you. But this is something I have no expertise in.” You stroke your hand around his front and place your palm over his chest. “All I can offer is my body for comfort.”

He takes your hand. “You have made a promise to me that brings me comfort as well. As long as you remember it, it will warm the cold inside me.”

You kiss his back. “I am your mate, and I will bear your children gladly.”

Briareos turns and looks at you. “I will try harder to be welcoming to your friends, but it will take time.”

The next day, Briareos strips to allow Dr. Navaro to give him an examination. Irini sits with you, sketching in her book. “Lucky you,” she whispers to you.

“Why, Irinis, whatever do you mean?” you giggle playfully.

Irini gives you a look with those dark eyes of hers. “You know exactly what I mean, my friend.” She glances back to Briareos. “Even with his strange features, he is like snow in July. A refreshing miracle.” She looks back to her sketches, with theories and ideas listed beside them.

You smirk at Briareos, who has heard everything and is chuckling smugly inside. “Maybe if you ask him nicely, he’ll pose some more for you.”

“I would love that, but surely after Dr. Navaro’s cold hands, he will be exhausted. I wouldn’t want to press the fellow.” She sighs deeply. “It must be hard enough being away from his kin, especially if they are as furtive as you say.”

Briareos looks at Irini and tilts his head to the side.

“I think if you asked him, he would at least hear you out.” You motion towards Briareos, who beckons Irini over.

She shyly rises and approaches him. “After your exam, sir, I would very much like to draw you. I think it would help to inspire my poetry if I were to study you up close.”

Dr. Navaro chuckles. “You’ve never said that when you sketch me.”

“What is there to say, fair doctor? I sketch you to relax.” She looks back at Briareos. “You do not have to agree.”

“He would like it,” you answer for him. “Whatever you would like.”

Irini beams. “Wonderful.”

Dr. Navaro finishes his exam, and excitedly sits aside to write out everything. Briareos poses for Irini, who has him lounge on the sofa. She guides his limbs, moving him gently so that the sketches she completes can be transcribed into words and poetry. “You have a way of bringing out an eroticisim in him I haven’t seen before,” you marvel.

“Really?” Irini asks archly. “I figured you would have seen everything in him.” Her hands are stained with the charcoal she uses to make her drawings. Her pictures of him are dark and shaded, but she manages to capture the vivid white of his skin in a remarkable way.

“He’s curious about how you use drawings to write poetry,” you say to Irini.

“It's quite simple, really, but perhaps it’s just the way my mind works.” She looks to Briareos as she speaks. “When I draw, I can visualize the words in my head. The jut of your hip, the curve of your leg, the texture of your skin all come together to make vivid turns of phrase in my mind. The drawing helps me weave them together into something cohesive and beautiful.”

“It is true,” Briareos says to you. “Her mind is so full I can barely find her inside it. “Same for the doctor over there. Their minds are quite similar. I am surprised they are not coupled.”

“That’s probably half the problem,” you tell him. “They are too similar, which is probably why they have done nothing to one another.” You look back at Irini’s drawings. “If you would be interested,” you say out loud, “I could read you one of Irini’s books.”

“That would be nice.” Briareos licks across his teeth.

“What did he say?” Irini asks excitedly.

“Should I show her more?” Briareos whispers to you.

You give him a stern gaze, which Irini catches. “What did he say?”

“He’s being naughty,” you reply.

Dr. Navaro raises his head. “What now?”

“Nothing doctor,” Irini calls back.

You give her a playful shove as the doctor approaches you. “It would be beneficial for my research if he’d be willing to put on a display. If that’s alright with you, my lady.”

You look at Briareos and chuckle. “He’s thinking about it.”

Briareos stands from the sofa, his cock erect and bobbing before his body. He looks into Irini’s eyes as she begins a new sketch.

“The storm of heaves the two of you must make,” Dr. Navaro japes.

You smirk at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be studying him from an academic perspective?”

“How can he?” Irini asks. “All the good doctor has ever wanted was to suck the dick of the supernatural.”

Dr. Navaro pats the top of her head. “Look who's talking.”

Briareos takes a blanket and covers himself. “He says the two of you are having far too much fun.”

“Wait! I need to make the shading!” Irini whines. “The shadow of his cock was so lovely! I could write sonnets just about that shadow.”

“That’s my shadow,” you say with a smirk.

After the two leave, you kneel in front of Briareos. He moves aside the blanket and you place your hands on his thighs. “Your thoughts were quite loud. I was having a hard time controlling myself in front of them.” He arches his hips, bringing himself closer to your lips.

You reach around, grabbing his arse as you take his cock into your mouth. Growls ripple from his chest, and you moan in reply. He grabs the top of your head, fingers tangling into your hair. You turn your gaze up to him, watching his expression melt like honey. His cock pushes deeper, hitting the back of your throat. You choke slightly, turning your head so you can take more. You reach down with one hand to touch yourself, rolling your fingertips over your clit.

“This will not help the mating,” he growls.

You moan against him, taking him in your throat again. “This is just a treat for being a good boy.” Drool drips from your chin, and your fingers have sunk between his cheeks. You press a finger inside him just as you dip your fingers inside yourself. Briareos loses his train of thought. He’s close, you can feel it. You thrust your fingers inside yourself, crooking the finger inside him. Briareos grunts and chokes, and his throat glows brightly. His cock throbs, pushing deeper and gushing into your throat. He holds you there, keeping you on him. Then he pulls out slowly, watching you while he does. He heaves, falling back onto the sofa. You’re a mess and your jaw hurts, but you grin with pride at having brought him down in such a way.

You sit beside him on the sofa until he is able to speak into your mind again. His eyes glow gold as he gazes at you. “Do you like me now?” you ask.

“What?”

“I asked you on our journey here if you liked me. You merely alluded that you tolerated me.” You place your hand on his chest. “Time has passed between us now, almost months. I would like to know if you like me.”

Briareos smooths his fingers through your hair before catching your chin. “You are my mate.”

“But that doesn’t mean you like me.”

He smirks. “Do you like me?”

“I adore you, but please answer me. Answer me directly. I can take your answer if it’s cruel.”

He kisses the tip of your nose. “I do not need to share the bed with you, and yet I do. I want to.” He tilts his head. “Will that answer do?”

You smile and lay your head on his chest. “Yes. It does.”

#monsterxhuman #monster boyfriend #monster romance #monster lemon #lemon #my writing #momolady monsters #monster fudger

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kkgbutsane · 3 years

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The First Day of School

It was a dewy morning. Not too hot, not too cold, far too humid. It was the usual for Hyakkou High School, where students came to learn and excel in their studies while maintaining good social relationships. The school was usually filled with many different students. Any stereotype you could think of, Hyakkou had it.

The students usually had fun. The Principal was quite lax when it came to certain things. All he asked of the students was to respect each other and respect the building. And to keep their grades up of course. They would be failing as a school if the students weren’t receiving the proper education!

And this is where their story begins.

“Ack. Hey! Mary!” Ryota called out from behind the blonde, who was currently looking down on her phone. The boy ran up to his best friend, hooking his arm around the back of her neck to bring her into a headlock. “Hey! Don’t mess up my hair you dork!” Mary growled, trying to wrestle her way out of Ryota’s lock.

The two continued their conundrum until they reached the gates of the school, where Mary finally got a good grip and threw her friend over her shoulder, thus leading to him falling on his backpack. “Ow…,” he muttered, smiling like an idiot.

Mary Saotome and Ryota Suzui had been friends since childhood. They were even neighbors, and she often came over to his house to play on his Wii with him. Their friendship had blossomed into a relationship.

Until they realized they were better off as best friends. In fact, after they had broken up and continued to be platonic, it seemed as though their friendship grew stronger.

“Hi guys!” The two heard a familiar voice, registering it as their other best friend, Yumeko Jabami. Yumeko had met them all in middle school, when she had moved here with her sister. The ravenette was one to take risks, and found pleasure in dangerous things. Of course, only in moderation. In reality, the only things she had taken much risk for was a move in a fighting game. Or a board game.

Her bubbly exterior was often in place of her mellow interior. She tended to keep to herself truly, unless with her friends.

“Yumeko!” Ryota yelled happily, jogging over and scooping the girl in a tight hug. Much to his delight, Yumeko returned the hug tenfold.

“ShiT, I can’t breaTHE-,” he barely managed, his face turning purple. He should have known, the girl was a strong hugger. “Oi, calm down you two, before I separate you guys for 10 minutes straight, and I know that will be a pain since you usually do homework together in the mornings,” Mary stated, crossing her arms. Yumeko finally relented, giving Ryota’s respiratory system some reprieve. Yumeko looked quite meek, but she could give hugs like no other.

“Mary!” Yumeko giggled, giving the blonde another one of her bone crushing hugs. “Sup, dumbass,” Mary replied, smiling softly at her friend’s gestures of affection. “Are you all ready for your first days of school!?”

It was the start of junior year for the three, and boy were their classes packed. Ryota was taking a few classes on science and health, as well as a gym class to exercise and get fit. He wanted to be a firefighter, and such education was necessary to ensure he was a good candidate for the job.

“I have… Anatomy first period. Woohoo,” Mary sighed. She was actually quite excited, but decided not to show it in order to keep her cool exterior. The path she had chosen was Emergency Medical Services, and taking anatomy was the first step in her opinion.

“Oh? That’s so wonderful! I have Calculus for my first period. I wonder if Sayaka is going to be in that class!” Yumeko said eagerly. Sayaka was one of the other kids attending this school. The girl mainly kept to herself, but she had recently started acquainting herself with the ravenette.

“Gah! Sorry I’m late guys! I kinda missed my bus…” A ginger voice panted, revealed to be none other than Itsuki Sumeragi. The strawberry blonde had met the three last year when she was a sophomore. After transferring from a private school to Hyakkou, the tight-knit group had taken her in, welcoming her as one of their own. “Hey! I heard there’s gonna be a pair of new students! I hear they’re seniors,” Itsuki gossiped, taking out her Nintendo Switch and turning it on.

“Ooh, Smash? Let’s do this!” Ryota declared, taking his controller and setting it to his button map.

“So what about these new students? Do they seem weird or anything?” Mary inquired, picking her character, King K. Rool, and setting her button map. “Oh come on, why do you ALWAYS play heavies!?” Ryota complained, picking Marth as his character. “Because heavies are fucking goated, why else?” the blonde snarked back, a sly smirk on her face.

“I don’t know. But I heard they’re twins!” Itsuki giggled, sitting down to watch them play.

“Heya guys,” a shrill voice came out of nowhere. “You playin’ Smash? I’ll join!” it giggled. Runa had seemingly appeared out of nowhere in her oversized jacket. “Oh no…,” The entire group groaned.

“Runa, you’re cool and all, but whenever we play with you, you find a way to resize our assholes every match in different ways. I really don’t want to get 0-to-deathed consecutively while you stay on three stocks. Seriously, how the fuck do you even do it!?” Mary spoke, seemingly for the entire group. “I dunno, just practice TBH,” was all Runa said, picking up a controller. “And fuck you, I’m playing anyway.”

The sound of groans could be heard around the courtyard after that statement.

Sayaka Igarashi, resident Valedictorian-to-be, had come over to the table with Midari Ikishima, who was dragging along a seemingly sleepy senior. “C’mon Yuriko. I know you have senioritis but our friends are here!” Midari grumbled, literally dragging Yuriko. Yuriko Nishinotounin had gotten a severe case of Senioritis, especially since most of her classes were a breeze this year.

“Would you both calm down please!? They’re playing a game, and I’m trying to read!” Sayaka chided, mentally swearing at the rebel. “Chill out, Sayaka, Yuriko is already falling asleep on me and it’s not even 7:30!” Midari grumbled.

“I can’t wait for senior year to be over,” Yuriko yawned, sitting on the table everyone was at basically falling asleep.

“What the fu- NO!” Mary yelled, distracted by Yuriko long enough for Runa to get a move on her, resulting in her virtual demise. “Fuuuuck!” she sighed, hitting her head against the wooden table. “FUCK!” she repeated, after feeling the pain that came along with it. Ryota had already fallen out of the competition.

Please nerf Lucas.

Yumeko hummed happily to herself, reading some random tabloid article on her phone. As the bell rang, they all dispersed into their classes.

“See you guys later!” Ryota called, jogging over to the weight room for his first period.

The three girls had made their way over to the Portables, then separating into their classrooms.

Sayaka practically dragged her two friends to their classes and then her own, all while keeping to the schedule. Anatomy was her first period, and she sat next to Mary.

It wouldn’t be too bad of a year. Mary was a good student and wasn’t too hard to talk to. She just mostly liked to keep to herself.

“Good morning class! Welcome to Anatomy! You guys are obviously gonna be learning about the body, it’s functions, what is where and what goes where and woop dee dah, all the good stuff! Hopefully I can make learning about how food passes through the body actually entertaining for y’all, but first we have two new students with us today! They’ve recently transferred over, so let’s give ‘em a warm welcome to Hyakkou!” The teacher, Mrs. Murray, announced. She looked a bit older, with a tall figure and ginger hair in her face. Her glasses looked odd, but it added to her look.

People like Mrs. Murray because she was actually a good teacher. She cared about her students and actually helped them if they needed it.

“Ladies, if you would please introduce yourselves!”

The entire class looked at the two, and for a moment they thought they saw double.

“Hello. My name is Kirari Momobami. I’m a senior here, and it’s a pleasure to meet you all. I hope we can get along,” The girl, now known as Kirari, had stated.

It seemed her sister’s turn was up next.

“Er.. I’m Ririka Momobami. We’re twins. I hope we can… have a good time!” Ririka muttered, almost too quietly for the class to hear.

Mrs. Murray smiled and beckoned them to take their seats.

Their seats were in front of both Sayaka and Mary, who seemed to be in a state of both ‘gay’ and ‘panic’.

The two twins looked vastly different, with Kirari’s hair done in twin loop braids and dressed in a rather classy manner, while Ririka’s hair was free to fall.

Wait.

Did Ririka have a sweatshirt that had the Poggers Man on it?

Mary internally laughed at that. It was adorable.

When class had dispersed to work in groups, Mary and Sayaka had picked each other on instinct, then looking for two more partners to start their work on.

“Sayaka!” Mary whisper-yelled, a small blush on her face. She then gestured to her phone to text the girl.

Mary S: HOLY SHIT IM GAY

Sayaka I: I am too. Which one are you gay for?

Mary S: Ririka.

Sayaka I: Oh. I like her too.

Mary glared at Sayaka for a moment.

Mary S: The one with the adorable hair and clothing?

The blonde mentally facepalmed, of course Sayaka would think that. No matter the twin.

Sayaka I: Yes. I love how her hair is done. Plus her shirt looks nice.

Mary S: Oh. So the one with the weird braids?

Sayaka I: Don’t call them weird.

Mary S: ok but dont worry cause im crushing on the other twin. I swear her sweatshirt is adorable.

Sayaka I: .

Sayaka I: poggers

Mary S: LMAO HOLD UP IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS ONE

Sayaka I: Be my guest.

The two had reluctantly come up to the twins.

“Hello! I am Sayaka Igarashi, and this is Mary Saotome. It seems you both don’t have another pair, so if you’d like, we can work with you,” Sayaka stated, trying to sound as polite as possible. Nothing could hide the blush on her face though.

“Sure, I would love to work with you both,” Kirari replied, a small smirk forming on her face.

Ririka just nodded with a small smile.

It was going to be a long year.

#au tag #kakegurui #kirari momobami #meariri #kirasaya #sayaka igarashi #mary saotome #yumeko jamabi #ryota suzui #runa yomozuki #itsuki sumeragi #ririka momobami

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dragonherder2030 · 3 years

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Smaugust day 13: Hybrid

I was going to the market today to pick up some extra feed for the new dragons, and some cleaning supplies since the new dog mimics aren’t exactly toilet trained. But at one of the vendors that I know I saw him holding a clear foal. I had never seen one in real life, and usually they are never able to live for too long. The poor things were used in school to learn animal anatomy, almost every school has one incased in resin. But this one must have been modified in some way, maybe shes some sort of hybrid between a drake and a clear one. I don’t know how Jeremy of all vendors was able to get one but I would guess he won it in a game of cards. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to care for it very well, he had a reputation of overworking his drakes, I offer him 13 chickens to start. Of course he wants more then that, and we haggle for a while. I finally get the clear dreamed for 3 sheep, a goat, and 9 chickens. I would say that’s a steal of a price, considering a work drake at the age of a foal is worth around 20 chickens and 4 goats. We exchange the animals of trade and I bring home my new girl. A thing to mention is that Bel used to be a mother, but her foals were sold a few days after their birth, I bought her a few months after that. But Bel has wanted to mother Kory ever since I got him, even though he’s an adult. But now she can finally have a foal of her own, I just hoped she would accept Heri. But when I brought Heri to Bel in the barn, she very quickly brought her to her stable with gentle nudges, and laid down. Heri did as well, and the two are sleeping together now. I think Bel and Heri will get along quite well

This isn’t connected to the main story, still canon in it but not directly connected. I do hope you all like this XD it was quite fun for me to draw and write, I had the idea of a drake made of bones since the beginning, and now I finally got one! And Heri does have muscle and stuff other then bone but it’s all just clear, there are different breeds that show the muscle and organs too, but they usually live a lot longer since it’s then best to see the things in action. Now Niki is getting lots of animals to take care of, she definitely needs someone to help her with taking care of them.

#myart #smaugust 2021 #smaugust #tw // bones #tw // blood #and we finally get some colors for Bel #she’s quite the Easter egg drake isn’t she

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channoticedmeuwu · 3 years

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Wait sorry okay somebody just wished you Eid Mubarak in an ask I saw? I'm sorely undereducated on this - I though there was only one Eid every year? Please help me learn ;-;

oh of course don't worry Kiri! Okay so there are actually two each year!

tw : there's details of blood and animals, and body anatomy. I go into detail so please don't read if it's a sensitive thing for you!

The first Eid we had this year was methi Eid! Basically we meet normally, it lasts 3 days, there's adults giving kids money known as eidhi, we just meet and celebrate.

The second Eid is around this time, known as Bakra Eid, 3 days again, but we slaughter cattle as we are ordered to (can be cows, goats, camels, sheep etc.), according to the Quran, and distribute it into seven sections, and there's a way to give these sections out too (goes to family, friends and the needy too)

Buying and raising the cattle is on you, you have to take care of it in your own home, make sure it doesn't fall sick and care for it. On the day of Eid, you have to slaughter it in the morning I think (idk if there's a specific time). The cut has to be done in a specific way as to not cause pain to the animal and to let all blood flow out of the body, as the blood includes impurities. There's a specific vein in the neck that connects to the brain and all the nerves. Once that vein is cut, all nerves and touch is lost in all part of the body, and henceforth, the body goes numb, making the animal feel no pain whatsoever.

yeah thats the Bakra Eid. Due to covid, we weren't able to purchase a cow, like my entire family usually does every year. So we just ordered our sections to be delivered to us instead ;-;

You can ask more questions if you'd like! I have no issue in explaining it bb <33

#ask kai #kiri!

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dani-dunne · 3 years

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Dream SMP Designs: Schlatt

Now for the final out of the three, one of the many villains of Dream SMP and the one with the funniest death. I don’t have many fleshed out plans for the rest of the smp members, so this might be my last dream-team related design. No promises though! I’m notoriously unpredictable.

Also thanks to my discord friends for introducing me to Dream SMP and supporting me through the project! They were a lot of help.

Schlatt:

Process Below:

This design didn’t take the longest time wise, but it was the most challenging. I had to take the most breaks in between to remember what looks good.

Like the others, I started with the idea collage to get my thoughts down. I had an idea, but no idea where to go with it. So I started by sketching him with a full business suit. However, there was a problem: Like every artist I have a weakness, and that weakness is slacks. I can’t draw them, it’s difficult for absolutely no reason, I hold an irrational grudge against them.

I gave up after spending an hour trying to draw slacks, so I slept for a night and came back to it in the morning.

Collage thingy:

Then I had an epiphany, Satyr Schlatt. This might just be an excuse to open my mythology book for an hour and giggle to myself (it is), but it was also a great alternative to not draw slacks. My one issue with the idea is that Satyrs are part goat, and a ram is a male sheep... so I’ll admit I was stretching a bit, but god, I really don’t want to draw slacks. I got over myself and once it was settled I figured out some anatomy and improvised some fluffy legs.

Final Sketch:

When I got to the color blotching part, I knew I wanted a character with a very dark color scheme, lots of reds and blacks, specifically based off of the Manberg flag. Usually I’m pretty against relying on only red and black in your designs (its a habit we all fall into), so I tried to balance it out with gold jewelry and blue eyes. I still have a feeling that the black is slightly overpowering, but its a big improvement from all of my other color choices. I also don’t know how I would fix it and still make it look okay.

I finished the design relatively proud, in reflection I could have done more with the color, maybe I could have chosen a different suit design so it wouldn’t be all black. Either way, I’m pretty proud of how it turned out! I’m not upset, designing is a learning curve. I can’t learn if I don’t make mistakes.

(Also since apparently I forgot to save an image with the color blotches heres a meme I made in my suffering:)

#Dream smp #jschlatt #character design #I hate slacks

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daaziscoolbesties · 3 years

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i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

#long post #sorry its so messy but like i said its almost 3 am and i dont want to go back and format all this #i might come back and make it look nicer in the morning #maybe not who knows #i just checked and this is 1.5k words what the hell

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sfarticles · 3 years

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Go Big With Your Burgers

Photo courtesy of America’s Test Kitchen/ Keller + Keller

Memorial Day Weekend is around the corner. Just the other day, I was thinking, the gas grill needs to be brought out from winter’s hibernation and the propane tank filled so it is ready for dad’s arrival from Florida. For three months a year, he enjoys grilling, especially those juicy burgers he makes by hand.

A couple of years ago, I found the the perfect Father’s Day gift for him, “The Ultimate Burger: Plus DIY Condiments, Sides, and Boozy Milkshakes,” by America’s Test Kitchen (2019, America’s Test Kitchen, $26.99).

Whether you want a beef burger or a cauliflower burger, are cooking on the grill or stovetop, or want to try making homemade buns and condiments, all the inspiration is in the book to achieve burger perfection.

In the “Anatomy of an Ultimate Burger,” it says, “no one element makes a burger ultimate, it’s the result of a combination of flavors and textures coming together.”

In this section, buns, sauce, toppings, cheese and the patty are discussed. I found the Dos and Don’ts of Store-Bought Ground Beef helpful. “Go Beyond Beef” introduces other burger options.

For those who want to really want to get into the “meat” of it, “Be Your Own Butcher” gives the knowledge in choosing the right cuts to create your signature blend and how to grind your meat without intimidation.

“Get Ready to Cook” ensures that every burger you make is tender and flavorful. You’ll learn how to properly grill (on a gas or charcoal grill) , shape a burger, and how to test the level of doneness. America’s Test Kitchen spent the time, often days and months, testing the recipes, the best equipment to use for burger making and the best store-bought burger fixings.

The book’s recipes don’t stop with burgers. Included are recipes for all of the trimmings; sauces, fries, potato and macaroni salads, buns, and milkshakes.

From the recipes here to pretzel buns, beer-battered onion rings, buttermilk cole slaw and ultimate cookies and Irish cream milkshakes to grilled Portobello burgers with goat cheese and arugula, and Connecticut steamed cheeseburgers (the latter two can be found at https://bit.ly/2VTJGpt, America’s Test Kitchen’s “The Ultimate Burger” will make your barbecues varied and delicious.

If you look around, burgers are everywhere. You can find local, regional and national restaurants dedicated to burgers. Some think of the hamburger as the “cuisine” of the country. Chefs have come up with creative signature craft burgers, plant-based patties and home cooks are getting into grinding their own meat.

As many know, the hamburger has roots in New Haven. Louis’ Lunch claims to be the inventor of the hamburger. Today, they are still cooked in the original vertical broilers as they were in 1900. And remember, no ketchup allowed!

Grilled turkey burgers with spinach and feta

The headnote says, “Why This Recipe Works: Ground turkey is a great neutral canvas, making it an ideal choice as the base for a burger with lots of mix-ins. We wanted super flavorful turkey burgers that take full advantage of this fact, but first we had to start by addressing the problems that plague ground turkey. Despite their popularity, turkey burgers are notorious for being bland and/or dry. This is because turkey has a mild flavor, and its leanness means it can easily dry out during cooking. We wanted to reinstate the turkey burger’s good reputation with an easy way to crank up the flavor and add some much needed moisture. We boosted the flavor of our patties by stirring some melted butter and feta cheese into the ground meat; these simple additions provided plenty of richness and flavor while preventing the burgers from drying out. For textural interest, we added fresh baby spinach to the meat mixture. Chopped dill lent a hit of freshness, and minced garlic rounded out the flavors. Be sure to use 93 percent lean ground turkey, not 99 percent fat-free ground turkey breast, or the burgers will be tough.”

1 1/4 pounds ground turkey

2 ounces (2 cups) baby spinach, chopped

2 ounces feta cheese, crumbled (1/2 cup)

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled

2 teaspoons minced fresh dill

1 garlic clove, minced

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/2 teaspoon table salt

4 hamburger buns, toasted if desired

Break ground turkey into small pieces in large bowl. Add spinach, feta, melted butter, dill, garlic, and pepper and gently knead with hands until well combined. Divide turkey mixture into 4 equal portions, then gently shape each portion into 3/4-inch-thick patty. Using your fingertips, press center of each patty down until about 1/2-inch thick, creating slight divot.

For a charcoal grill:Open bottom vent completely. Light large chimney starter filled with charcoal briquettes (6 quarts). When top coals are partially covered with ash, pour evenly over grill. Set cooking grate in place, cover, and open lid vent completely. Heat grill until hot, about 5 minutes.

For a gas grill: Turn all burners to high, cover, and heat grill until hot, about 15 minutes. Turn all burners to medium.

Clean and oil cooking grate. Season patties with salt. Place patties on grill, divot side up, and cook (covered if using gas) until well browned on first side and meat easily releases from grill, 4 to 6 minutes. Flip patties and continue to cook until browned on second side and meat registers 160 degrees, 5 to 7 minutes. Transfer burgers to platter and let rest for 5 minutes. Serve burgers on buns. Serves 4

Variations

Grilled turkey burgers with miso and ginger: Omit spinach, feta, salt, and pepper. Whisk 2 tablespoons miso paste and 1 tablespoon water together in bowl until combined. Add miso mixture to turkey with melted butter. Substitute 1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger for dill and 2 minced scallions for garlic.

Grilled turkey burgers with herbs and goat cheese: Omit spinach and garlic. Substitute 3/4 cup crumbled goat cheese for feta. Add 1 large minced shallot and 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley to turkey with melted butter.

Smoky grilled potato salad

The headnote says, “Why This Recipe Works: Creamy potato salad may be the classic, but we wanted a modern, summery option that could cook on the grill from start to finish right alongside some of our delectably charred burgers. For smoky potatoes with tender insides and crispy, grilled outsides, we started with halved, unpeeled red potatoes. Leaving the skins on helped the potatoes stay intact, as their firm, waxy texture stood up to the heat of the grill. Crumbled bacon was an obvious choice to add smokiness, and we found that we could infuse our salad with even more savory bacon flavor by reserving some of the fat and coating the potatoes with it before grilling. Grilling our onions with the potatoes gave them a beautiful char that heightened their flavor. Instead of a thick dressing that would hide the spectacular grill marks on our potatoes, we opted for a bold vinaigrette with a kick of chipotle to add even more smoky depth. Halving our potatoes after they cooled exposed their creamy center and allowed them to soak up the spicy, tangy flavors of the dressing. Use small red potatoes 11/2-2 inches in diameter. If you don’t have 2 tablespoons of fat in the skillet after frying the bacon, add olive oil to make up the difference.”

4 slices bacon

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

11/2 tablespoons mayonnaise

11/2 teaspoons minced canned chipotle chile in adobo sauce

1/2 teaspoon table salt, divided

1/4 teaspoon pepper

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus extra for brushing

2 pounds small red potatoes, unpeeled, halved

1 onion, sliced into 1/2-inch-thick rounds

3 scallions, sliced thin

Cook bacon in 12-inch skillet over medium heat until crisp, 7 to 9 minutes. Using slotted spoon, transfer bacon to paper towel-lined plate. When cool enough to handle, crumble bacon and set aside. Reserve 2 tablespoons bacon fat. (If necessary, add olive oil to equal 2 tablespoons.) Whisk vinegar, mayonnaise, chipotle, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and pepper together in large bowl. Slowly whisk in oil until combined; set aside.

For a charcoal grill: Open bottom vent completely. Light large chimney starter three-quarters filled with charcoal briquettes (41/2 quarts). When top coals are partially covered with ash, pour evenly over grill. Set cooking grate in place, cover, and open lid vent completely. Heat grill until hot, about 5 minutes.

For a gas grill: Turn all burners to high, cover, and heat grill until hot, about 15 minutes. Turn all burners to medium.

Clean and oil cooking grate. Toss potatoes with reserved bacon fat and remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt in bowl. Push toothpick horizontally through each onion round to keep rings intact while grilling. Brush onion rounds lightly with oil and season with salt and pepper. Place potatoes, cut side down, and onion rounds on grill and cook, covered, until charred on first side, 10 to 14 minutes.

Flip potatoes and onion rounds and continue to cook, covered, until well browned all over and potatoes are tender, 10 to 16 minutes. Transfer potatoes and onion rounds to rimmed baking sheet and let cool slightly.

When cool enough to handle, halve potatoes. Remove toothpicks and coarsely chop onion rounds.

Add potatoes, onion, scallions, and bacon to dressing and toss to combine. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve warm or at room temperature. Serves 4-6

Grilled bacon burgers with caramelized onions and blue cheese

The headnote says, “Why This Recipe Works: Smoky, salty bacon can take any burger to the next level, but burgers with just a few strips on top failed to deliver bold bacon flavor. Our version nixes the strips and mixes bacon directly into the burger for bacony bliss in every bite. Mixing raw bacon with raw ground beef overworked and compressed the patties so that they cooked up tough and dry, and cooked crumbled bacon — though it mixed in better — was too crunchy. For the perfect balance of bacon flavor and juicy texture, we processed raw bacon in the food processor and then cooked it briefly in a skillet. The par cooked pieces incorporated easily into the ground beef and dispersed bacon flavor more evenly throughout while the burgers stayed moist and juicy. Instead of tossing the leftover bacon fat we used it to sauté some onions, which provided salty balance to their sweet flavor. To turn these burgers into a savory showstopper, we topped them with rich and creamy crumbled blue cheese.”

8 slices bacon

1 large onion, halved and sliced thin

1/4 teaspoon table salt

11/2 pounds 85 percent lean ground beef

1/4 teaspoon pepper

4 ounces blue cheese, crumbled and chilled (1 cup) (optional)

4 hamburger buns, toasted if desired

Process bacon in food processor to smooth paste, about 1 minute, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Cook bacon in 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat, breaking up pieces with wooden spoon, until lightly browned in spots but still pink (do not cook until crisp), about 5 minutes. Drain bacon in fine-mesh strainer set over bowl. Transfer bacon to paper towel-lined plate and let cool completely. Reserve bacon fat.

Add 2 tablespoons reserved fat to now-empty skillet and heat over medium heat until shimmering. Add onion and salt and cook until well browned, about 20 minutes. Transfer to bowl and set aside.

Break ground beef into small pieces and spread into even layer on rimmed baking sheet. Sprinkle with bacon and gently toss to combine using 2 forks. Divide beef mixture into 4 equal portions, then gently shape each portion into 3/4-inch-thick patty. Using your fingertips, press center of each patty down until about 1/2-inch thick, creating slight divot.

For a charcoal grill: Open bottom vent completely. Light large chimney starter filled with charcoal briquettes (6 quarts). When top coals are partially covered with ash, pour evenly over grill. Set cooking grate in place, cover, and open lid vent completely. Heat grill until hot, about 5 minutes.

For a gas grill: Turn all burners to high, cover, and heat grill until hot, about 15 minutes. Leave all burners on high.

Clean and oil cooking grate. Season patties with pepper. Place patties on grill, divot side up, and cook until well browned on first side, 2 to 4 minutes. Flip patties, top with blue cheese, if using, and continue to cook until well browned on second side and meat registers 120 to 125 degrees (for medium-rare) or 130 to 135 degrees (for medium), 3 to 5 minutes. Transfer burgers to platter and let rest for 5 minutes. Serve burgers on buns, topped with onions. Serves 4.

Recipes courtesy of ....

#hamburgers #memorial day weekend #America's Test Kitchen #grilling season

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