#i guess i feel like this because it's been years since i had a sketchbook | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

souliebird · 7 months

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[[and then I met you || ch. 5]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

words: 4.4k

It has been one week since you saw Matt Murdock on the evening news, and it feels like it has been a complete whirlwind. First, you reintroduced yourself to him and let him know he was a father, then you had a nice little outing, and to tie it all up, a trip to the doctors to confirm what you already knew.

Matthew Murdock is the father of your daughter.

It is nice to have an official statement from a doctor and now you can start the process of changing Minnie's paperwork to include his name. You have to go to the courthouse to file for an updated birth certificate. Matt has very kindly offered to take that task on for you - he goes to the courthouse often for his job and he knows the ins-and-outs of navigating legal paperwork. You just have to go and drop off the right documentation.

You had a brief call last night, after Minnie had been put down, and decided that you would visit his office today to do just that. You are going to kill two birds with one stone - hand over what needs to be filed and give Matt more time with his daughter.

To your great surprise, your timid little Mouse absolutely adores him. She was not happy to have to be at the doctor's office yesterday and was on the verge of tears before he showed up. Her whole mood shifted, and she had spent the brief time you were in the waiting room and exam room telling Matt about different things around them.

You have a feeling, when you sit down and tell her the truth, she is going to be thrilled.

You told her that you are going to visit Matt at work today, and all morning she has been hunched over her sketchbook making pictures for him while you try to get in some hours at work. Try being the key word, as you've been thoroughly distracted by today's news cycle.

You were half listening to a puff piece about something or other when breaking news flashed across the screen. A neighborhood in Connecticut has been leveled by some sort of explosion, killing hundreds. They don't know if it was an accident or some sort of attack - the epicenter of the blast was a school, so it could potentially be either. You pray it was a freak accident, some faulty pipeline or a weird meteor, because the world doesn't need any more horribleness in it.

The idea that it might have been an attack makes you nervous. You've been through two horrible attacks on New York, and you didn't realize another big event so close to home would shake you so hard.

It scares you that you have to raise Minnie in such a harsh world, where monsters of all kinds are very very real and you don't know who you can rely on. The police and government have been shown to be all kinds of corrupt and people who can shoot laser beams fight each other in the skies.

You end up clocking out and going to sit with Minnie to get yourself to stop your doom-listening. She's got a few drawings scattered around the table and you pick up the one closest to you, smiling at her handy work.

You recognize the shapes as her interpretation of people - oblongs with stick arms and noodle legs. Unknowingly, she's made her first new family portrait. There are three blob-people all holding hands: you suspect you're the big orange one with a smile, Minnie is the little pink one in the middle with what you guess are pigtails, and Matt is the black one with red eyes, who is also holding a stick. To confirm, you ask her.

"Is this one Mister Matt?"

Her head shoots up and a big grin spreads across her face, "Yeah! And that's you and that's me and we're gonna go to the zoo!" There is a little flurry of motion and suddenly you are getting a picture show. She holds up the paper she was working on - there's another family drawing, but this time there's green scribbles all around you and a blue square with zig zags all over it. You guess that is some sort of animal.

"You want to go to the zoo with Mister Matt?" You ask, examining her masterpiece.

"Yeah!" She says, pulling over another picture that you know are her versions of flowers, even if they are all different colors. "And the park!"

"And the park? Wow, that's a lot of things to do. Do you want to ask him if he wants to go to the zoo with us when we see him today?" Minnie eagerly nods at the question and that makes you smile. "Okay, we can invite him to the zoo. When are we going to the zoo?"

The question makes her bounce in excitement, "My birthday!"

You laugh at her enthusiasm and give her a little back rub, "Exactly. We're going to go for your birthday. And get a big cake with whatever you want on it." That makes her a giggly mess and you temporarily forget all the bad things in the world.

You hand her back her drawing before kissing the top of her hair, "How about you finish this one up and we get ready to go see Mister Matt? We can only visit for a little bit, because he's working, but I bet he'll love everything you made him."

Greedy little hands take back the paper and instantly Mouse is hunched back over her zoo scene, purple crayon in hand. You get up and go to make sure that you have everything you need to bring to Matt in order. You are extremely lucky that the doctor has the ability to print out things in Braille, so you don't need to make an extra stop to get things translated.

You debate bringing Matt lunch, but ultimately decide against it. You don't want to push too much too fast, and you think it might be a little weird for his coworkers, to see a random person bring him homemade lunch. You know he hasn't told anyone yet about yourself and Minnie - he had shyly admitted it didn't feel real until the test results were given and you completely get it.

You tidy up until you spy Mouse dropping her crayons into her bucket and cleaning up her drawing area. You let her do her thing, then approach, "Let's put your drawings with the other things we need to give Mister Matt. That way they won't get lost or wrinkled."

She nods like you've just said something very wise and gathers up her stack of papers before handing them over. There's five in total; the three she showed you and two more full of colorful lines. You decide you'll listen in on her explanation to Matt on those two, as you're curious as to what goes on in her little mind.

Once everything is safe and ready to go, it's just a matter of getting shoes on. You go with your sensible sneakers while Minnie opts for her frog themed Wellingtons. The plan is for both of you to walk to the office, and after one final wallet-keys-phone check in your purse, you head out hand-in-hand.

It's mid-morning, so foot traffic is decent, but not heavy - nothing that makes Minnie too uncomfortable. Dark clouds are gathering on the horizon, and it makes you wonder if the rain that has been promised in the forecast will be coming sooner than expected and you are glad this outing is the only one you have planned. Taking Minnie around in the rain is never fun. It always seems like everything becomes more bustling in the rain and trying to navigate that with a crying toddler just makes you want to cry as well.

But the promise of her new favorite person and mild weather has her walking like the born and bred New Yorker she is - a determined little pout with no nonsense steps. No one will be trying to sell her things on the sidewalks once she gets bigger. If she had a different personality, you'd want to teach her to say "Hey, I'm walking here" just to hear a toddler say it.

As you spy the building Matt's office is in, you realize you should have sent him a text to say you were on your way. You did let him know vaguely what time you planned to stop by and he had assured you that they had no appointments - it was catch up on paperwork day - but that didn't mean walk-in clients hadn't come by. You're so close to already being there that you think the gesture is pointless, so you just keep walking until you get to the building.

"This is where we are going," you tell Minnie as you approach. You scoop her up to show her the business directory on the outside of the building. There aren't very many plaques to begin with, so it's easy to find the Nelson, Murdock, and Page one. "That is where Mister Matt works with his friends."

She leans out and feels over the embossed sign, running her fingers over the different letters. "'M'! For Minnie!" She says, pointing out the letter with a big smile.

"Exactly. Mister Matt's last name starts with M, too. That word is his last name - Murdock."

That gets her to turn back to the sign, fingers dancing over the letters, brows knitting with curiosity, "How is it spelled?"

You spell out Murdock for her and Minnie repeats each letter after you. You do this a few times until she's able to say it out loud on her own. You don't know how long she'll retain the information, as spelling isn't really on the board yet, but you're happy she's interested. You set her back down and she makes a beeline up the steps, grabbing and pulling at the door with all her three-year-old strength.

The lobby to the building is sparse, with basically only an elevator and staircase, with a door to what you suspect is a supply closet. "We're going up two staircases," you tell your daughter.

"Two!" She confirms before taking off towards the stairs. You have a brief moment of panic that she's going to zip up both sets faster than you can catch her, but to your great amusement, she grabs a hold of the banister with both hands and pretends to use it like a mountaineering rope to climb the stairs. She even adds little fake huffs and puffs. You follow behind her, ready to catch her if she slips. She doesn't, and when you get to the floor Matt's office is on, she turns to beam at you, clearly proud of herself, "We did it!"

"We did it," you parrot, offering out your hand again. She takes it and you lead her to the correct door. The same plaque that was on the exterior of the building also hangs beside their door and Minnie astutely points to it.

"Murdock!"

"That's right, it says Nelson, Murdock, and Page."

"Can I knock?" Mouse asks, raising her fist to do just that.

You hum, then gently explain, "This is business, which means work. For work, we don't have to knock. We can go in if it is open."

As soon as you say that she's opening the door and marching inside and you quickly follow her.

Matt's law partners, Foggy and Karen, are in the reception area with a man you assume is a client of theirs, talking in hushed annoyed sounding whispers. He radiates intimidation, with a huge black eye and what looks to be a makeshift cast made of duct tape around his right wrist. The three of them turn to look at you and you get the sense Minnie had the right idea in asking if she should knock first.

Your little one quickly latches onto your leg, turning timid in the space of a second and you can't really blame her. Part of you wants to turn and run.

Karen recovers first, breaking away from the two exasperated men to step towards you and going into receptionist mode, "Hi. You were here last week to meet with Matt, right?"

"Uh, yes, that's right. Is he, uh, available?" You ask, feeling like you no longer know how to speak English. The energy in the room is not a pleasant one and you very much feel like you've interrupted something important.

"He's on a call currently but I'll let him know you are here," Karen replies in a voice far kinder than what she uses to address the men behind her a beat later. She turns to them and points to the office you know is not Matt's. "In there. Now."

Foggy throws up his hands, like he's frustrated with whatever is going on and disappears into the other room. The man you don't know doesn't follow, eyes on you and your daughter as Karen crosses the room to knock on Matt's door before opening it and slipping into the office. You quickly decide you are not going to make eye contact with him, instead ducking your head and putting a comforting hand on Minnie's head. She's practically hidden herself behind your legs, clinging to your pants so tightly you fear they might rip.

"I like your boots," the man says into the quietness. You expect him to sound like gravel, but his gruff voice is rather soft, and you get the feeling he understands how to talk to children "My daughter used to have boots like those."

Part of you wants to tell the man to not talk to your daughter, but that would be rude and just because he looks like he's been through the ringer doesn't mean he's a bad man. You decide to let her determine how she wants to proceed.

You feel Minnie poke her head out from where she's hidden herself. At first, you don't think she's going to reply, as you know how she is, but she surprises you yet again by mumbling out, "They're froggies."

"Yeah? You like frogs?"

Mouse somehow tightens her grip, "I like animals." She presses her face against your leg, then admits, a little louder, "we're gonna to the zoo for my birthday."

That makes the man smile, and that changes his whole demeanor. Suddenly he looks friendly and kind and not like he's likely to stab you, "That's a good place to go for your birthday. How old are you gonna be?"

Before she can respond, the door to Matt's office swings open and Karen stalks out, followed by Matt, who seems much less agitated than everyone else. The blonde points to the unknown man, a little scowl on her face, "What did I say?"

The man holds up his hands defensively, stepping away from Karen and towards the office he was previously told to go in, "Alright, alright, I'm going. I'm going." That doesn't seem to help soothe her at all, as she grabs the man by the bicep and frog-marches him to join Foggy, closing the door behind them.

"They didn't make you wait long, did they?" Matt asks, bringing your attention back to him. There is a cut on his lip that wasn't there the last time you saw him, and your instinct is to ask if he is okay, but you don't know if you are at that level with him yet.

So instead, you address his question, "No, no, we just got here."

He motions back to his office, a smile spreading across his face, and you almost forget about the cut, "Come on back and we can review everything."

Minnie lets go of your pants only to take your hand again and you lead her into the other room. As you pass Matt, she looks up at him and gives a tiny wave.

"Hi, Mister Matt."

Matt's shoulders visibly relax at her greeting, and you can't help but start to smile, "Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing today?"

"Good! I maded you pictures," she says proudly. That causes him to pause as he starts to follow you into his office. You can tell he is surprised by the news - his voice gets a little choked up when he responds.

"You made me some pictures?"

"They are very good pictures," you advise, squeezing Minnie's hand slightly before letting go, "Do you want to tell Mister Matt what you drew for him?" She nods eagerly, so you point to one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Go sit like a big girl and you can tell him."

She makes a dash for the chair, and you take the time to address Matt, "I'm sorry, I should have called ahead."

He shakes his head, and as he walks past you to go behind the desk, he reaches out and brushes his hand along your arm. A little shiver runs up your spine at the touch and you tell yourself the action was so he could orient himself. "Not a problem, I knew you were coming. How is everything?"

"Everything is good," you reply, a little shyer than you intend to. "I, uh, have everything for you. Is there anything else I need to fill out?"

Matt shakes his head, "Just a signature and date. You've done all the work for me already. I don't think I've ever had to file where I don't need to actually do anything but sign the document. It's a refreshing change."

"Do you know how long it will take to process?" You ask as you move to join Minnie in sitting. "The website gave multiple timelines and I just want to be realistic."

Matt takes his seat with a cocky grin, "Not long at all, I know a few judges I can ask to push it through."

You flush at the idea of him asking a favor to a judge on your account, "That's not necessary, Matt, I don't mind waiting."

He shakes his head, getting that soft look again, "I don't want to wait. I want it to be official in the eyes of the government."

His words make you feel even warmer, and you distract yourself by pulling the file with all the paperwork out of your purse and pass it over to him. "Minnie's additions are at the bottom of the stack. The last five pages"

His fingers twitch slightly, and you wonder if he wants to flip right to those. You get your answer quickly.

"Minnie, is it okay if I go over the paperwork with your mom before you tell me about your pictures?"

"It's okay!" She replies, her voice much more cheerful now that you are alone with Matt. "Do you needs help?"

Her sweetness makes Matt smile more and he shakes his head, "Not right now, sweetheart. I need to read, and I can do that with my fingers, but after that you can help with some other things."

"Okay," she says happily, kicking her feet a little bit.

You catch her attention and motion to your purse, "Do you want a toy while you wait?"

She shakes her head and beams up at you, "No thank you, I'm a big girl!"

Both you and Matt chuckle at her declaration and he moves to open the file.

"There's multiple copies of everything," you tell him as you move onto business, "One printed text and one in Braille for the courts and the same for you. I have the same at home, as well. They are bundled in packets. The court papers are on top, Braille first."

He thanks you then begins to read the forms. Mouse sits up straighter in her chair to try and see what he is doing. She can just peek over the edge, and she watches in fascination as his fingers move over the pages. You wait quietly, not wanting to distract in any way.

"Everything appears to be in order. We will just need a signature," Matt says after a minute.

"Should I do that now?" You ask. The response is him offering you a pen, so you lean in to sign the various forms. As you set each document aside, Matt adds his own signature. It is silly how giddy you feel just having the forms finally completed. You don't know how long you've had just blank copies, waiting to be filed.

"And done," Matt says with a final flick of his pen on the last page. "I'm going to the courthouse on Tuesday, so I'll get it processed then. I'll push to get an updated certificate as quickly as possible."

You have to bite your lip to keep from smiling like a crazy person. This isn't some dream or far off fantasy. Matt isn't just saying he wants to be Minnie's father. He is following through, with urgency. This is something he wants and it's almost surreal for you - you are so used to promises being broken and no one being on the same page as you in your desires. Even if this is all for Minnie and not for you, it is still on the edge of overwhelming for you.

You never thought you'd be so happy over paperwork.

"Thank you, Matt," you whisper, leaning back into your seat to sit properly.

Immediately, Minnie parrots you, thanking Matt even though she has no idea what is going on.

"No, thank you. Thank you both," he says, and you wonder if he is also holding back from smiling. He gathers the papers and sets them aside before running his fingers over the folder you gave him and addressing his daughter. "Okay, sweetheart. Do you want to come tell me what you drew?"

You expect Minnie to stand on the chair and even prepare yourself to balance her, but that does not happen. She hops down and scurries around the desk to be at Matt's side and a moment later, he is pushing his chair back and she is climbing up into his lap. Embarrassment rushes through you - she's only ever behaved like this with you. She actually used to fuss and cry if anyone else tried to hold her. You haven't seen her sit in anyone else's lap since she had a say in who gets to hold her.

"Minnie!" You scold but Matt quickly shakes his head as he helps her up.

"It's okay, I don't mind," he tells you even though he looks completely shocked. If he wasn't her father, you wouldn't allow this, especially with someone so new to her, but he is her father, even if she doesn't know, so you don't tell her to get down.

Instead, you give a stern frown, "Minnie, you still need to ask before climbing on anyone, okay? Can you apologize?"

Your little girl nods, then looks up at him, "I'm sorry, Mister Matt."

"It's okay, sweetheart. Like I said, I don't mind, but your Mommy is right, and you should ask so I know you are there. Next time, you'll know. Now, your Mommy said there were five pictures. Which do you want to start with?" He asks, scooting his chair back to the desk while wrapping one arm around Minnie's waist to keep her secure.

Once she's able to, she leans in and picks up the first drawing in the stack. It is the family portrait, and you quickly get your phone out so you can record this interaction as Minnie lays out the picture. She then takes Matt's free hand and guides it to the paper before letting go to point at the circle that represents him.

"This is you," she tells him. He quickly finds where she is pointing and begins to trace the figure.

"That's me?" And there is definitely more than a little bit of emotion in his voice.

"Uh-huh, and that is me and Mommy and we're gonna go to see the duckies. Mommy said we can go again. But we're gonna get ice cream too. And a balloon," she says, moving her little finger all over the page.

You watch Matt's finger follow hers - first over the doodle of himself, then Minnie's, and finally yours. Then, he traces back to the center figure. "We're holding hands?" He asks tentatively.

"Yup!" She answers, popping the p. "Mommy says we gotta hold hands if we go outside."

Matt licks his lips a little and you see his muscles flex under his jacket as he holds Minnie a little more firmly to his chest, like he doesn't want to let go of her. "That's a good rule."

"Mommy makes good rules," your little one replies wisely. That makes your ego sing a little. Mouse has always been good at doing what she's told, and you are proud that she understands your rules keep her safe.

Before she moves onto the next picture, you gently prompt her. "Sweetie, was there something you wanted to ask Mister Matt?"

Matt's head jerks up at that, looking right to you with brows slightly knit. Minnie bounces in his lap just a little, squirming so she can turn to look up at him, "I'm gonna go to the zoo! For my birthday! Do you wanna go?"

His lips part in surprise at the question and before you know it, he has both his arms wrapped around Mouse, hugging her to him. She instantly responds, looping her little arms around his neck and squeezing back. He rests his cheek against her head, and you see him slightly rock her from side to side. "I would love to go with you to the zoo, sweetheart."

Minnie giggles into his neck and you one hundred percent know that the transition to suddenly having two parents is not going to be hard for her at all. It might be confusing because Matt won't be living with you, but you have never seen her so comfortable with someone who isn't you. You know it's not just because he gave her a toy. They just click together so well.

You switch from video to your camera so you can sneak as many pictures as you can of Matt and Minnie hugging. They've completely forgotten about you and that is a-okay.

In this moment, nothing else matters to you - not the strange man in the other office or the devastation a few states over or all the other trivial things that nag you and make your stomach turn.

Your world is right in front of you and for the first time in a very, very long time, you really, truly believe everything is going to be just fine.

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment

#soulie writes #fanfiction #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #and then I met you #theres plot hints

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meruz · 6 months

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Lightbox Expo 2023 is over!! Thank you to everyone who stopped by the table. I can't believe I sold out of both my sketchbooks AND my digimon fanbook... (multiple prints too?!)! I'm incredibly grateful... I will have a 2nd print run of both sketchbooks and online orders for the digimon book up in the next couple weeks so please keep an eye out for that!

More gushing abt the weekend under the cut

I sell at an average of idk... 3-4 events a year? So I would consider myself a frequent congoer though not necessarily full time lol. I'm a little jaded like it's not that I don't enjoy going to cons but theres definitely a bunch that feel like just-another-con-weekend to me lol, sometimes it's more work than play I guess. But this con felt really different! For the first time in a while I left a convention feeling really thrilled and giddy that I had been there. The kind of feeling I used to get when I would table at anime cons in highschool! And I think a lot of that is the people I met and talked to and the overall vibes at the event. Oh also I literally just had surgery and going to this con is like the only thing ive done this week besides lay in bed and play Story of Seasons on the nintendo switch and I thought I would be in pain and miserable but actually I HAD SO MUCH FUN...!!!! even when i skipped after-hours socializing every night to go home early and sleep 12 hours lol. SO ANYWAYS. YEAH. IT'S CORNY. BUT I wanna say thank you again to everyone who stopped by the table. Especially all the coworkers and long time mutuals who I met in person for the first time this weekend!! And the long time followers who told me they have been following me since homestuck or naruto or whenever. And college classmates who I haven't seen since graduation, crazy talented underclassmen who I'd never met but stopped by to say hi... So many people who absolutely made my day. SPECIAL thank you to my table partner Emi who is the best and such a good sport and accommodating to the point that I feel ridiculous when she thanks me for anything. And um also thank you to the artists who were cool and nice when I went up to their tables and blurted out 24917596 compliments in rapid succession. or only got one really awkward compliment out to LMAO... I felt so inspired and awe struck by everyone's work! God it was just so cool to be there. I LOVE ART....

Ok yeah thats it. its been a while since ive written a post-con blog post so earnestly lol.. here's my obscene haul photo I was buying stuff at this con like I was dying and couldn't take it with me LMAO.

I'm not gonna go tag everyone because I don't think everyones on tumblr but if you dont mind doing a little google search legwork: big x-men prints from chase conley, prints from jacki li/bguavas, azusa tojo, xanthe bouma, nicodaboy, susan yung, hormstuck, nessa tweneboah, linda liu, ash tahilan, zines also from jason dwyer, ash tahilan, aprilyn cunanan, veggiecakeface, deb lee, dune5and, uhh yoichi nishikawa art book and parakid calendar, stickers again from ash, marie lum, hormstuck, chiou, and emi hartana/crowlets OKAY I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING THANKS FOR READING

#lifeblogging

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f4irys4n · 11 months

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love drunk

jeong yunho x neutral!reader

tags gender neutral language. reader and yunho are best friends. reader going on a date with random oc. jealous yunho. oblivious reader. secret crushing. alcohol abuse. getting drunk. smoking weed. vomiting. drunk and high yunho. drunk confessions. reader taking care of yunho. fluff towards the end.

wc 1.9k

yunho couldn't stand it. hearing you bang on about your upcoming date, despite his oh so obvious attempts at flirting with you. but what hurt more was that it was with no one other than song fucking jiyun; some stupid kid that worked in a local cafe and that just so happened to have picked on yunho throughout his entire childhood.

you knew he hated jiyun, but you always insisted that the normie boy was sorry and had changed since the mishap last year. yunho never believed you though, always insisting that jiyun was precisely the same as he was before and that he was just trying to fool you, and everyone else.

jiyun had never given you a reason to dislike him recently, he'd been sweet and polite, even slightly flirty so it wasn't surprising when he asked you to meet him after his 6pm finish to go on a small coffee date. you could say anything but yet, you'd spend years pining over yunho for him to never even notice your feelings so what was the harm in putting yourself out there?

"why did you have to say yes to him?" yunho scoffs, looking through his sketchbook, quickly turning over the sketches of you.

"do we have to go over this again?" you ask him "i said yes because i think i like him," you continue "okay? end of discussions, and all other discussions about this topic."

"fine," he huffs, throwing his book to the side of him "i just don't get what you see in him," yunho mumbled "i just thought it'd be fun for us to go to that party together and get high, you know? but i guess not."

yunho grabbed his book and stormed out of your room, leaving you confused and baffled about his attitude towards you ever since he found out of whatever thing you and yunho had.

"hey jiyun," you smiled lightly, still unable to get yunho out of your mind. everything about him had been bugging you lately, he'd been so off, and it wasn't just because i was going out with the person he painted to be his so-called 'arch nemesis.' there was more going on but typical yunho, he refused to tell you anything.

"you look so pretty," jiyun smiled at you "you want your usual? i'll make it before i clock out for the day." you nod at his question, giving him a quiet 'please.'

"are you okay?" he asks, looking at you in worry. "you seem slightly preoccupied up here," jiyun adds, lightly tapping your head with his finger as you did. god, it must be prominent in your thoughts for it to be written all over your enough for jiyun to notice.

"it's yunho," you mumble "he's being off with me, and i'm not used to it... we've been best friends for years and he's never once been like this with me," you explain, opening up to jiyun about the longer haired boy despite their obvious past with each other.

"does he know about our date?"

"yeah..." you sigh, walking up to the counter as jiyun started prepping your drink.

"then there's your answer," jiyun smiled at you with a saddened expression. "he really doesn't like me and seeing you, his best friend, go out with me has probably struck a few nerves. it's understandable, i just wished he could learn to forgive me and then it wouldn't be awkward for you."

"yeah, that's probably it." "i just hate it, you know?"

whilst you were sulking about yunho and his current behaviour towards you; the boy was sat, chatting with mingi, a freshly lit blunt in his left hand.

"i just... they know i hate him," yunho whines. whenever he got a little too drunk or stoned he always acted like a baby; he got whiny, emotional and extremely stubborn with his thinking. it was something you, and all the nightshades had to quickly learn to get accustomed to because he truly was a sensitive soul already, never mind when he was intoxicated. "and it's so obvious i like them, they're so oblivious sometimes, why can't they notice? you all do."

mingi chuckled at the boys' complaints, thinking about how ironic what yunho was saying actually is. he was whining about how you never noticed yunho's feelings when yunho himself had never noticed yours despite how sickeningly noticeable it was to everyone else. you were both dumb in his eyes, both as oblivious as each other.

"dude.. you should just tell them," mingi says, taking a hit of his blunt. "you're both so dumb.. can you see how she likes you back?"

"obviously not if they're going a date with jiyun," yunho mutters, bottom lip sticking out.

"or maybe they're trying to put themselves out there in an attempt to get over you because they think you don't like them," mingi chuckled slightly because he knew that's exactly what it was; you'd told him yourself. "how do i get through your head that they're crushing on you so hard."

"keep thinking that, mingi," yunho waffled on, "but you're mistaken, i know you are. why would they like me anyway?" "what is there to like?"

"yunho, you really need to get your head out of your ass."

some time had passed and yunho still hadn't moved from the same place, sat sulking the entire time; the only thing that had changed was the beer bottle in one hand and the bud that was in the other.

his lack of attention towards the party was honestly worrying mingi so he decided to send you a text.

mingi: 'hey y/n! i know you're on a date, but yunho's really acting weird and i really don't think he'll phase out of it until you talk to him'

your phone lights up as you sit across the table from jiyun, and you shift your gaze to it, noticing it was a text from mingi. what could he possibly want? you thought he would be lights-out drunk with yunho at this party...

"sorry jiyun, let me just reply to this, it's mingi," you smile, quickly picking your phone to quickly see what the snake haired boy had to say.

mingi: 'he's really stuck on this jiyun thing.. but it's for a different reason than what you're thinking. he's been sat sulking all night, on the verge of tears over how you never notice him but you notice jiyun. please, whenever you can, come talk to him because there's so much he wants to say to you, he just never does.'

your eyes widen as you read the text. you really didn't know yunho was as stuck on this jiyun thing as much as you thought, but it must have hit him bad for him to be on the verge of tears.

"jiyun.. i.. i'm really sorry," you start off, pouting slightly, "but i've got to go," you continue, quickly collecting your stuff.. "it's yu-" "yunho," jiyun cuts you off with a smile. "yeah..." you sigh, feeling bad for ditching him.

"i'm not annoyed y/n, i understand," jiyun smiles "you're good for each other. go talk to him, he needs you."

"thank you, jiyun, thank you so much," you smile. "i enjoyed today.. i just-" "y/n, you need to go," jiyun chuckled, watching you leave the cafe quickly.

you quickly weaved and bended around the crowds of people before seeing mingi and enid.

"y/n!" mingi yells as he sees your figure in the corner of his eye. "i'm really sorry to text you on your date.. but yunho," ajax trailed off.

"it's no worries at all, mingi. where is he?" you ask softly.

"he went off to his room around 10 minutes ago, he looked like he was about to cry," mingi said, giving you a sad smile before you quickly made your way to yunho's room.

you knocked on his door quickly, knowing that he'd probably tripped over a good few things and hurt himself in his drunken state. but there was no reply.

"yunho?" you call out, knocking on the door again.

"y/n?" he asks, voice slurred out, "wait.. it can't be y/n, they're on a date with jiyun, they wouldn't be here for me."

"yunho, it's me," you chuckle, letting yourself in.

"what are you doing here?" he asks. yunho was lying on his bed, a bottle of beer in his hand and an exhausted expression on his face. the redness surrounding his eyes showed he'd either been crying or rubbing his eyes to stop himself from crying.

"mingi told me you were acting off," you admitted "he knows nobody can get you to talk like me," you continue, sitting on the space beside him.

"i just.. never mind," yunho sighs "it's nothing."

"please speak to me," you hum, budging closer to him. "mingi said you needed to tell me something, something that you can never find the time to say," you edge him on, hoping that'd help him figure out what to say.

"it's just.. promise this won't change anything?"

"it won't yunho."

"i like you," he blurts out "heck, i think i love you. and seeing you go on a date with another guy, especially jiyun, fucking hurts. i'm so obvious about the way i feel and you never seem to fucking notice me," yunho pouts, his voice almost sounding desperate, as if he was longing for you for some time. "i just wanted you to notice me.." he sighs, eyes welling up with tears, "i just wanted you to turn around to me one day and say you liked me back to, but you never did.."

everything he was saying took you back. you were utterly shocked. yunho liked you back? was he really obvious about his feelings and you had just never noticed it at all? but you'd always thought you were obvious about how you felt towards him... maybe you were both as oblivious as each other.

"yunho, i.." "and this is where you tell me that you don't like me back, that things could never work between us, that we're just friends," yunho interrupts, mind obviously frazzled from the drink, "that i'm just a stupid boy... with a stupid crush..." he rolls off, the sadness oozing in his voice.

"yunho, that's not-" "you don't even have to say it, y/n, i already know what you're going to say."

"yunho!" you yell, catching him off guard.

"what?" he asks, confused.

"i like you too," you smile, looking at him directly in the eyes.

"you.. you do?" yunho asks, eyes widening.

"yeah..."

"but.. but jiyun.." he mumbles.

"i went on the date with him because i thought you'd never like me back so i thought i'd put myself out there to see if i'd work out with anyone else," you say to him "me and tyler don't have anything, he told me to come here, to come and see you."

"so.. you like me?" he asks, giggling a little. the person he's had a crush on for years actually likes him back? for real?

"yes yunho, i like you," you say "now can please get you cleaned and covered up... you've got beer down your shirt and you're high as hell," you chuckle, giving him a small smile. "how does a coffee sound?"

yunho nods. "sounds perfect."

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heejayy · 1 year

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My Heart and My Soul

Warning • suggestive

Genre • fluff, lil angst

Pairing • Shuri x Black Reader

Wc: 1.8k

A/n: since y’all think this bitch tinder i guess imma have to step up my writing game, can’t get goods fics anywhere. Like where y’all go??! 😭😭

Shuri and you have been close since high school, inseparable even. It was almost concerning how close your were and it didn’t shock a soul when you two got married. Growing up you were always the quiet and observant one and her the out going adventurous one.

Your Youth

You always got looked over by everyone except one person, Shuri. She noticed you right away, it was to your first day of freshman year, you had no one to talk or hang out with so during lunch you’d walk to the library and read. The first two weeks of school she studied you confused on why you’d sit alone reading, you were beautiful and smart to her, it’d seem like you’d make friends easily.

So one day curiosity got the best of her and she followed you to your personal corner. She watched you routinely pull out the book you’ve been reading and a highlighter.

“Whatcha’ reading?” uninvited Shuri plopped her bag down beside you taking a seat. The look of shock in your face was enough to tell Shuri she scared you “my bad didn’t mean to frighten you, I’m Shuri” she held out her hand with a bright smile on her face.

You glanced down at her hand and back up at her, you thought this was a joke. One why would the princess of the royal family come sit down and chat with you and two why is she in a public village school?

“Did I do something wrong your majesty?!”

“Shh no no you are fine. I wanted to come talk to you I see you walk in here everyday but no one joins you, why is that?”

“Oh well I’m not good at making friends” you mumbled shying away, “may I ask you a question?” Her face lit up with joy.

“Yes?”

“Why are you in a public school…you’re the princess don’t you have private tutors?” She chuckled nervously scratching her undercut.

“Oh well my mother thought it would be good for me to socialize with kids my age plus there’s really nothing they can teach that I already don’t know” you nod pushing your glasses up.

“Well I’m sure you have plenty of friends you are the princess,” her smile fades as she looks away.

“N-not exactly, you see no one wants to hang out with me as they are afraid of my status and the only people who do is also because of my status…so I’m in a lose lose situation, but if you don’t want me here I understand. I did intrude, my apologies” she got up with a sad frown beginning to make her way around the corner.

You felt bad, you knew exactly how she felt. Not having anyone to talk to and constantly being alone, it was no fun. Stricken with guilt you called after her.

“Princess Shuri!” You whisper yell, she instantly turns around with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

“Yes?”

“You can stay if you like I don’t mind” you move your book bag and wave her back over “come join me” you smile patting the floor. A grin instantly took over wiping away her frown as she ran back over to you.

“May I show you my sketchbook?” She excitedly ask pulling out a thick notebook from her backpack. “All of my recent inventions are in here, look” she excitedly flipped through the pages finally having someone to show it to.

That one pivotal moment changed your life’s forever. Having each other made high school a breeze. Even growing into adulthood you two had each other’s back, and that slowly led you you developing feelings for each other that neither of you would speak about until later.

Attending college was no different even though you two didn’t pursue the same careers you stayed close nonetheless.

College Years

“I swear this homework is kicking my ass, I’m ‘bout to cry!” you wail slamming the mechanical pencil on the table. Shuri peered up from her lab table shaking her head.

“I can do it for you if you like-“

“No Shuri if you do it I’ll never learn anything.” She just shrugged going back to fixing her brothers panther suit.

She smirked cockily looking at you “it’s up to you I’m done with mine.” You shot daggers at her chucking the pencil at her head.

“It’s not funny!” She ducked laughing, “I will help you as long as you don’t throw anything else” you rolled your eyes swallowing the sarcastic comeback you had ready “fine.”

Shuri smiled putting down her tools “all you had to do was ask for help, you’re so annoyingly independent.” She’s one to talk.

You and Shuri sat at the table for hours finishing and correcting any and every piece of work you done that night. You were becoming distracted but not because of the work, because of Shuri. You were starting to feel things for her that a best friend shouldn’t feel, you eyed her beautiful features in awe. The way her jaw clenched and unclenched when she was thinking, the way she smirk to herself whenever she figured something out, or how her eyebrows would furrow when she was confused.

She was just gorgeous.

“Did you hear me?”

“Huh?! Ohhh yeah yeah I got it“ you didn’t get it.

Shuri was going over the material once again for you until her phone rang, it was Imani her girlfriend. You rolled your eyes putting your focus back on your work trying not to hear their conversation, but you couldn’t help it. You wished Shuri would call you baby like that and spoil you with love as she did her ungrateful girlfriend. Yes ungrateful, Imani cheated on Shuri twice and Shuri still took her back.

Sometimes you worried for your dear friend.

“Can you take that somewhere else I’m trying to work” Shuri knew you didn’t like Imani but you put up with her.

The Big Fight

Having enough of Imani’s bullshit with her treating your friend like she’s nothing, you confronted Shuri. You tried to tell her she’s sneaking around again but Shuri didn’t want to hear any of it, as if she was in denial.

“Are you jealous or something? Jealous that I found love and you can’t?”

Hearing those words come out of her mouth hurt like falling into a thousand needles. Hearing someone you fell in love with say they loved someone else hurt. You blink your tears away swallowing the lump in your throat.

“If you want to stay with her fine, but I’m not gonna stick around to watch her treat you like shit, don’t come crawling back when she breaks your heart again.”

After that fight you two had you didn’t talk for weeks. Over the course of those weeks you felt this hole in your chest grow larger and larger yearning for her to fill it, but deep down you knew she never would. What you didn’t know was Shuri felt the same. Spending so much time alone with Imani made her realize she didn’t want her. She was trying to distract herself away from you.

As she watched Imani lay on her chest guilt began to fill her, she didn’t want her laying on her she wanted you laying on her, she wanted you cuddling close to her. The very next day she broke up with Imani and ran you you. She ran over to your house hoping you’d find it in your beautiful heart to forgive her. Repeatedly she knocked on your door, when you didn’t answer she kept knocking and knocking until-

“Damn Shuri what is it?!” You knew it was her?

“Y/n please forgive, I’m terribly sorry for treating you the way I have. That was no way to treat my best friend. You were right Imani was no good for me I was only using her as a place holder for you, please please please forgive me” she held onto you with tears in her eyes hoping you would hug her back and say you forgave her.

You stared into her eyes still feeling the pain the day she said those hurtful things to you. You gave her a sad smile reaching for her face to dry her eyes “my sweet Shuri you hurt me, you made me feel like my opinion didn’t matter anymore” she shook her head no “no please it does matter to me I promise, please forgive me” with your love for the princess outweighing the hurt she inflicted on you, there was no doubt in your heart you weren’t going to forgive her “I forgive you.”

Not being able to hold herself back Shuri grabs you by the waist smashing her lips on yours. This was something you dreamt about, feeling her soft lips against your sent butterflies to your stomach. You held onto her melting right into the kiss.

She pulled away with a smile “Damn I’ve always wanted to do that.”

“You have?! Why didn’t it say anything?!”

“That doesn’t matter hush” she giggled kissing you again.

The Path of Love

(Suggestive)

Dating Shuri was a dream come true she was such a doll. Everything you needed she provided and vise versa. You two were made for each other, like Yin and Yang. You two experienced everything in life together including your first time.

You two were both so eager but nervous, having a few hiccups at first but nothing too serious. It was laughed off and you continued. You both took you time with each other, kissing and caressing each other ever so softly. Nothing filled the room but sweet moans and soft music in the background. You two couldn’t stop touching and loving on each other, so absorbed with one another’s presence, it was like heaven on earth.

“Damn” you huffed pulling the blanket over your naked body, Shuri giggled doing the same.

“If I knew you could do that I would’ve done this a long time ago” you gasp smacking her shoulder “Shut up!”

Your dating life was nothing too different from your friendship accept you kissed and had sex.

You both were extremely comfortable with one another and told each others every thought you had. So when she wanted to try something new in the bedroom you never denied her, you were always down with whatever. Others were almost sickened at how sweet your relationship was, you two spoiled each other with love and always talked out your problems.

Two years flew by and Shuri was ready to marry you. She proposed in the garden she had made for you, it was unexpected but of course you said yes.

The Present

Your love for each other never dwindled even in the roughest parts of your relationship your love stayed strong. So strong you decided to expand your love to your little one, you were currently seven months pregnant with a baby that was gifted to you by Shuri’s genius’s mind and her science.

You rubbed your swollen belly with a smile as you looked through your old year book.

“Oh my god Shuri look it’s our year book photos” she peered over the couch “eww I looked so bad, why did I think that looked good!”

You smacked your lips “no you didn’t! I always thought you were so cute with your little glasses and your know it all attitude” you giggled. You flipped through some more looking at all the photos you and Shuri took together through out your four years in high school, the way you two looked at each other should’ve been a clue to the romantic feelings you felt for one another, but the what ifs and buts doesn’t matter now because in the end you got your girl.

“You know I’m glad you came and talked to me that day in the library” you said closing the book. She smiled taking a seat next to you, “I’m glad I did to.”

She left a soft kiss against your lips then moved down you you belly to leave a kiss “I love you.”

You smiled caressing her curls “I love you more.”

Taglist 💌 : @abenomeiiii , @lustfulbarbie , @locoforshuri , @6-noir , @saintwrld , @vampzxi , @ihearttish , @cafehyunji , @ccharrrr , @sapphicvqmpires , @yamsthoughts

#Shuri x reader #shuri fluff #shuri angst #shuri x fem!reader #shuri x black!reader #lesbian #shuri udaku #black panther wakanda forever #black panther imagines #x black reader #shuri x black!fem reader #letitia wright shuri #Shuri imagines

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milkinawineglass · 3 months

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when i was younger, there was a window of time where i would always say my favorite color was yellow. it wasn't, my favorite colors are pink and red, but i really wanted yellow to be my favorite color. i had made up a few reasons for it, i guess? it seemed significant to van gogh, and since he was (or is) my favorite artist, i wanted to have some extra connection to him, somehow. my childhood blankets were mostly yellow, and i had yellow walls and yellow furniture and yellow bedsheets and yellow sketchbooks - i really liked yellow! but i didn't love yellow. or i did, in some way, but it wasn't my favorite. at some point, i got really frustrated, because i kept saying yellow was my favorite color and it wasn't! it never was! i don't know why i got so angry, since it was my fault, but i did. "my favorite color is red! why have i been lying about something so stupid!? what's the point of all this yellow stuff!? why does it even matter!?" i don't really have answers to those things, but they were on my mind for months, on and off, as i sought out as much red clothing as i could bury myself in. growing up, almost all the cleaning supplies in my house was either lemon or orange scented. the soap, the sanitizer, the disinfecting wipes, the furniture polish, sometimes even the febreeze was lemon scented. i still can't eat anything lemon or orange flavored because it just tastes like cleaner to me. i don't mind the smell much, but the taste is awful, and pretty much any citrus tastes gross really fast. i do think its funny that eating citrus is now like filling my mouth with soap. i also think its funny that my cat, my best friend since i was 13, is named after a citrus. "Tango" is a basic orange cat name, so i've heard, but that's still kind of a shortened version of "tangerine" - at least that's what my dad intended. (i also, as an artist, keep making citrus-themed characters, because i like the look of an orange or lemon cross-section. it's ''iconic'', as i said one late night in april last year.) yellow is not my favorite color, but it is something i can rely on. red is my favorite color, but i can't use it for everything. somehow, orange still reminds me of home and of safety. there's another whole tangent about that, but i feel like this is already disjointed. i don't know what the point was.

#quinn speaks #save

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pastelaspirations · 4 months

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Ta-dahhhh, a drawing that took me too long. It would have taken me less time had I quit second-guessing everything and taking 3 hour breaks after fixing one line. BUT YEE, I ACTUALLY LIKE IT VERY MUCH. For once. (Also, shoutout to my fren, @paintedkinzy-88 for teaching me how mirrors work. It is a long story. Although, probably only "long" because of my habit of telling things 5k words longer than they needed to be-)

Now, long headcanon rambling alert. This drawing is like... the ungodly compilation of so many of my headcanons. I absolutely didn't need to stuff it full of things I believe to be true so wholeheartedly, but I d i d.

First headcanon: Ink can feel. He has the capacity to experience emotions, he just needs a little help to do it. So, he has to take his vials to experience something that many people don't even need to think about. However, this leads to ✧˖°.angst.✧˖°. Ink has a whole lot of self-doubt and he second-guesses his "emotions" all the time because, technically, his emotions are artificially induced. Therefore, by extension, does that make the emotions themselves artificial? This leads well into my second headcanon.

Second headcanon: Ink's vials are basically an allegory for antidepressants. Suppose someone has been depressed for a very, very long time and then they get on antidepressants. They might become really disoriented. Because, really, which version of themself is the truest form of them? The happy, upbeat version of them is strange and foreign after being depressed for so long. Is the happy version truly them, or was it the other, depressed version of themself that they spent so many years living as? So, as ya can see, the 3rd day prompt for Inktobertale fit beautifully with my headcanons. <3

Third headcanon: Ink experiences a strong wave of whatever range of emotions pertaining to a particular vial after he takes it. For example, yellow, he'd experience a strong wave of joy, happiness, euphoria, etc., and for red, anger, fury, outrage, etc. The little sticky note in the corner of the mirror is a reminder that it's easier to take all the vials together than to spread them out. If he takes them all together, he can experience each strong wave in immediate succession. It's exhausting and he nearly has everything taken out of him at the end, but the ordeal is less... awful than if he spread it out for half an hour taking them one by one. That's why the cup is there hehe-

The little pictures on the mirror represent happier times! :D Since taking his vials, or his "medicine," is such an uncomfortable experience, having pictures on his mirror to remind him of happier times and that he has people that care about him really helps. He can pluck up the courage to actually take the vials after glancing over at beloved faces. ;_;

The holiday picture actually has a funny backstory behind it; the three of them were celebrating Gyftmas together at Blue's house, but it was during a time Dream was still fairly new to uh, "modern day traditions." I headcanon Dream acts really old and after being stuck in stone for so long, is like... tragically so far behind the times. He uses old timey lingo, has a very bad habit of comparing his centuries old age to your common AU resident, and comes off as, "How do you do, fellow kids-" more often than he would like. As such, he didn't understand why you would "dress up" for the holidays. He freaking showed up in his normal attire and was baffled why Blue and Ink were dressed differently. They made a lot of fun of him. Ink got a new sketchbook that he's holding in the picture. <3

The other picture... of course has a backstory. I'm s o r r y, okay. It is a problem, I can't quit sneaking Errorink into whatever I do. That little picture is of a time they were hanging out together cuddling in the antivoid. Error wrote the little note on the picture to remind Ink that his emotions are just as real and valid as the rest of them, and that if anyone were to tell him otherwise, he'd fight 'em. He told him to slap it on his mirror as a reminder when he goes to take his "medicine." ;_; <3 Will I find a way to sneak this into a fic/make a new fic with this scene? Probably, but I'm choosing not to worry about it rn-

FINALLY. LAST HEADCANON, I'M SORRY- Some of you may have noticed the sneaky little Asriel hiding in the picture. >:) Even that has lore behind it! :D It comes from an AU I call Storetale that I made up in two minutes solely to excuse the blatant goat bro easter egg.

Storetale is set in a timeline where the monsters and humans live on the surface together in harmony. But oh noooo, one day, Asgore and Toriel died in a bad car crash, and they left poor Chara and Asriel alone. ;_; Not to worry though! Mettaton adopted the two and they both became child celebrities. But not on tv, mind you. Nooo, they became the mascots of Mettaton's extremely successful supermarket chain, MettaStore. The AU follows the two as they deal with their very odd claim to fame, as well as the fact of being children and the face of a multi-million gold supermarket franchise.

I like to headcanon that Ink likes to watch this AU because of how wacko and heartfelt it can be at times. He got the soap in the picture from that AU, branded Golden Flower Soap. I also like to think Ink introduced Error to that AU and he unironically got invested into it too because of the contrived problems it comes up with similar to Undernovela.

AND THERE. THAT IS ALL. This was just the ultimate compilation of all my headcanons into a singular drawing that no one would ever know unless I made this ungodly long post to explain each and every one in detail even though no one asked. ;_; I'm sorry for such the long post. If any of you brave souls read this far, thank you and I hope I managed to spread my headcanons further-

✧˖°.Bonus:✧˖°. Here is a version with alternate eyes 'cus I couldn't choose which one I liked more and then one without a blurred background. Now, you can see the Errorink background details more clearly if you would like :D

#inktobertale2023 #ink sans #utmv #inktobertale day 3 #ink!sans #my headcanons #star sanses #errorink #But only if ya squint #Like yeah it's right there in plain view #but the drawing itself isn't errorink cuddles #This is so wonderfully angsty I love it #Scratching the angst itch m m m m #Am I going to find a way to incorporate this drawing into a fic or compose a new one entirely #P r o b a b l y #By that same token; will I find a way to shove Storetale into a fic?#Also highly likely because I have gotten unhealthily attached to a glorified shitpost au that I made up in 2 minutes #Is it stupid? Yes. Do I love it to death? Also y e s

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loving-jack-kelly · 1 year

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since i have officially been enable (hehe thanks @thefactsofthematter and @daveysjackie)

i think. jack and davey have been friends since the day they met. it was the kind of instant connection that only being in the same class as young kids can generate, the solidarity of having names close enough together in the alphabet that you end up sitting next to each other in every class on the first day of school, and the very fast realization that jack's sense of humor was perfectly matched to davey's ability to convince a teacher he'd done nothing wrong. they're friends all through middle school and high school, even when jack is the popular baseball player class clown and davey is the kid who sits in the front row and answers every question. people outside their immediate friend group kind of wonder why they're so close, but jack and davey and their immediate friends get it.

davey is good at keeping his rebellious streak hidden, and jack is good at acting unbothered, but davey has always been itching to get into trouble and shake that "pleasure to have in class" vibe he's had since he was five and jack cares so much about everything that it's hard not to shut down. so they balance, just like they always have. jack supplies davey with the cigarettes and weed most people would never guess he smokes, and davey gives jack the space to drop the facade and let himself care so much it hurts.

they're the kind of friends that are so intertwined it's hard to imagine one without the other. davey gets out of ap english and jack is already at the classroom door handing him a pack of fruit snacks and laughing at something that happened in the forty minutes since they last saw each other. jack stays late to finish an art project and davey is sitting at the table across from him doing calc homework and making sure jack doesn't get so wrapped up in his work that he doesn't eat.

and then davey goes away to college. and he hates it. he should have known he would hate it because he's hated school and the pressure it put on him since he was old enough to feel the expectations from his teachers. it's not even that college is hard. he earned his spot here, he's smart, he's capable, he even got a really good scholarship. but he hates it. he hates his classes, he hates his major, he changes his major and hates that one too, he misses his family and he misses jack, who facetimes him from the kitchen of the diner he's worked at since he was sixteen excited to announce he's finally starting to work in the kitchen instead of as a server-slash-host.

he first floats the idea of dropping out to jack when they're on facetime at 3am while davey frantically writes an essay that was due at midnight that he forgot about because he just doesn't care anymore. his grades aren't great because he doesn't want to be here, he's miserable, he's only made like two friends, and he hates it here.

he expects jack to react the way he knows his family would, his advisor would, everyone else in his life seems like they would. no, davey, don't drop out, you worked so hard to get here, that would be a waste, you're so smart, don't you want to do something with yourself?

but jack doesn't even look up from his sketchbook when he asks, would that make you happy again?

and yes, it would, davey realizes the more he thinks about it. he would rather go home and work a shitty job for a while than stay here and stay miserable. he would be happier to be home with the people he knows and loves.

so davey drops out. he barely tells his parents he's doing it, but he never registers for classes for his second year and he officially withdraws from the university in july when he's sitting on a fire escape with jack like they used to when they were kids and jack celebrates out loud that he's making his own choices.

so jack gets davey a job in the same diner he works at. they work together and hang out together and are friends like they always have been, but there's something else now because davey, as miserable as he was away at college, has this weird little itch to get out and do something exciting. he starts talking about wanting to get out and see the world, and jack, who has always talked about getting out of the city to see what else is out there, is all for it.

it's impulsive and stupid, even more so than dropping out of college, but they decide to just...go for it. they save up together to buy a van and a few months' worth of spending money and then, when the paperwork is signed and it's too late to stop them, they just leave.

esther and mayer are disappointed maybe. worried, definitely. what happened to their middle child who never got in trouble and got straight As and was quiet and well-behaved his whole life? where did this, this impulsivity and recklessness and sideways ambition, where did it come from? and sarah is less surprised, davey has always confided in her, but didn't expect him to actually go through with it. and les thinks it's very cool that davey is running away as an adult, but sad and a little confused that he barely took the time to say goodbye.

but davey...davey loves it. he and jack leave the city and decide on the spot that they're not using maps, they're headed west and they don't care where they end up. the van used to belong to a plumber, there's no backseat, so they mostly park at truck stops or Walmart parking lots to spend the night. they both have a little money saved up, and jack has been doing commissions online for long enough that he's still got a little income coming in, and they don't know how long this can possibly last but it's fun. it's freedom. they drive until they're sick of driving and then they stop to see what they can get up to until they want to drive some more. they put a mattress in the back of the van and collect pillows and blankets and slowly, strangely, it starts to feel like home.

jack finds an old video camera at one of the thrift stores they stop at and starts recording videos. davey starts pulling them off the camera and putting them on his laptop so he can send updates to his family that show how good this is for both of them. they stop at weird landmarks and tourist attractions, jack fills sketchbook after sketchbook with drawings of the weird places they find, davey starts keeping a journal full of the things that make him laugh and fun facts he's learning.

the van breaks down four months in. they're somewhere in the middle of nowhere, colorado, and jack cracks some joke about it being a miracle they made it this long, and thank god they're actually in a town and not on a highway fifty miles from anywhere. the local mechanic is nice enough to tow it to his shop free of charge, and jack and davey settle in to spend a few days in this tiny town without much to do. they end up sitting in a coffee shop while davey edits together another highlight reel of the last week to send home. jack says he should put it on youtube and see what happens, and davey laughs the idea off but the next morning he's still kind of thinking about it because. why not? maybe nobody will ever watch and it'll just be an easier way to share the videos with his family, or maybe people will watch it and it'll go viral and they'll be famous and making money from it. neither extreme seems that bad, really. so that day, still waiting for the van to be fixed, davey starts editing all of the videos they have so far into one big video. he adds jack's art in there, drawings of the world's biggest ball of string and the world's largest beetle and all the other places they've visited, and he posts it.

and after that, once they get the van back and they're driving north, determined to make it to where Canada meets washington on the coast because it just sounds cool. jack gets it on video when they stop at a campground for the night and davey falls face-first into a river. davey it it on camera when jack has to play tug of war for his phone charger with a crow at a rest stop. they make it up to cape flattery and there's videos of them goofing off on the hike and videos of the view.

davey edits it all together and posts it on youtube. he sends the link to his parents and forgets about it. and that's how it goes for the next month and a half. every week, a forty-minute long vlog of highlights from that week's adventures goes up. every week, they name a random new thing they want to do and start driving in the general direction they think it'll be in. they blow a tire on a windy mountain backroad and the camera, set on the ground, records both of them bickering over the best way to change a tire. they leave the camera, crooked and sliding around, on the dashboard and record the two-man performance of queen's entire discography.

six months into their roadtrip which is starting to feel more like a lifestyle, and two months after davey started uploading videos to youtube, he checks his junk email and sees that he apparently has a comment on one of the videos. he hasn't been paying much attention to what was going on with the old ones once they were up, so he's beyond surprised to see a few thousand views a video, a couple hundred comments on the ones with particularly funny moments. a few hundred subscribers.

jack thinks it's hilarious. davey is not so sure. he keeps uploading though, especially when jack points out that if they get enough subscribers they can monetize it and have some more money. so they keep doing it.

they hit national parks. the spend the winter down south, and davey gets hours of footage of jack wide-eyed and wonderous in santa fe, a city he's wanted to visit for years.

he gets a comment that says something like "I can see them falling in love in real time" and it takes a few days to be able to film the way he has been because now he's self-conscious about how much he records jack just existing. he knows he's had a lingering crush on jack since they were twelve but he doesn't need a random stranger on the internet calling him out on it. he also knows jack is straight. so.

it doesn't take long for the channel to have enough subscribers to monetize it, and it doesn't take long for them to appreciate making a handful of extra cash every month. it's not a lot of money, especially at first, but fifty bucks is a good couple meals with how they've learned to shop, or a full tank of gas. it means they have more time, now that they're starting to run out of savings. and the longer it goes on, the more they're making. they break 10k subscribers on a video that heavily features clips of them rolling down a random hill they found and decided to have fun on and jack rescuing a cat from a dumpster that they brought to a local shelter. davey stops paying attention to the numbers because he and jack both agree if they start doing it for youtube instead of themselves, it'll stop being so much fun.

they got to new orleans for mardi gras, a bucket list item that davey thought of a few months ago when they were stargazing and thinking of more things to do. it's been almost a year since they left new york, and it seems like their list is only growing. they get covered in beads and get a hotel room so they can get as drunk as they want, jack wears the camera around his neck so it doesn't get lost, and it's there that davey has the crashing, terrifying realization that it's a lot more than a little crush.

jack is bright and energetic and even in this crowd full of people dancing and laughing and singing and shouting, jack stands out. davey steals the camera away from him and gets video after video of jack just being jack, being bright and fun and taking davey by the hand and pulling him along to the next thing. jack takes it back and records davey laughing while he tries to dance along to a song he doesn't know. it's wild and crazy and fun.

they got a hotel room with only one bed because they didn't even think about it. they've been sharing the back of the van for a year, but maybe because it's a real bed or maybe because suddenly davey is aware of how much he's actually in love with jack for the first time, but it's different. and they wake up collapsed together, wrapped around each other, and davey has a moment of being so, so grateful for what this year has been.

there's a comment under that video that davey has a hard time ignoring because it says "you just know they kissed when the camera was off lol" and he can't stop thinking about what if. what if they had? what if they did? what then?

when davey is editing the next video he can't help but notice that there are just as many random shots of him doing nothing as there are of jack. like jack is also finding himself recording davey at random moments when nothing is happening. it's hard not to get his hopes up. and the best part of this whole thing has always been the small moments, the quiet and calm conversations at night with rain falling on the roof of the van, being stuck in traffic laughing at each other trying to learn lyrics to a new song, eating at a greasy truck stop diner and trying to figure out what tastes so weird in these pancakes. it's the little things, the inside jokes they've had since middle school spread throughout the brand new adventures every day, the way jack still snorts when he laughs and still teases davey for how he can't help but mess up his hair when he gets excited about something. it's the way they finish each other's sentences without thinking and barely have to talk about things to know what to do next because they can practically read each other's minds.

knowing jack is easy. this whole this has been easy, even when it really wasn't. when they got really lost an a snowstorm rolled in in September for no reason. even when they've been stressed about something going wrong, or being lost someplace scary, or not knowing if they'd make it to the next gas station, even when they've bickered for real and not for fun and even when they've gotten in actual fights a couple of time, it's always been easy. easy to come back to jack, easy to love jack, wholly and simply and completely because isn't that all he's ever done?

davey doesn't think jack is paying much attention to the youtube videos. he's never said anything about the comments or brought up anything from them.

so when they find another quiet moment, way up in the mountains in the southwest listening to the first snowmelt of the spring start to trickle down the slope, wrapped in a big blanket together on the roof of the van so they can see the stars without freezing to death, it takes davey by complete surprise. when jack, who's cuddled into his side and silently taking in the stars he's yet to get sick of being able to see so clearly, says, sometimes I wonder if they're right.

if who are right, davey asks, genuinely confused. the people on youtube who say they're watching us fall in love, jack says, like it's nothing. like it's not a sentence with the potential to upset everything about who they are and what they're doing and who they've always been.

oh? davey says, barely breathing and very, very aware of how pressed close together they are right now.

i guess i just know i could never do better than you, jack says, and davey has a moment of thinking oh he's just kidding until jack rolls to look at him instead of the sky. i don't want to try, I guess, he says. i know I'd never be able to find somebody as perfect for me as you are. I've always known, I've known since we met, and I know it's stupid and crazy especially when we're out here on our own and nowhere to go if things go wrong, but I want to kiss you, I think.

and when davey kisses jack, out here on a van roof wrapped in a blanket, listening to melting snow under a sky full of more stars than either of them could have imagined when they met, that's easy, too. and when they fall asleep, together like they have been sleeping for more than a year, it's easy to forget that anything changed at all because, davey realizes, they've been loving each other this whole time.

it was in the ways jack would pull over on a random farm road in Iowa to pick a pretty wildflower growing in a ditch, and davey would find the flower pressed between the pages of one of his books weeks later, carefully labelled with the date it had been picked. that was jack loving davey. and so was jack's sketchbook, brand new when they left and now so full he'd been adding pages for weeks, and half the drawings included davey's face. and so was jack's easy memorization of davey's order at every fast food place they'd stopped at, his diner go-tos and the drinks he liked when they stopped at an actual restaurant and it wasn't his turn to drive to wherever they were spending the night.

and davey had memorized the same facts about jack, and wasn't that also love? and the way davey would buy a stack of new books and donate the old ones every time they found a good used book store, and he'd sit in the passenger seat and read out loud to pass the time on long stretches of boring road. and when he was driving, wasn't it davey loving jack every time he took a left turn on the hunch there would be cows or horses instead of a right that would get them to where they thought they were going? and when davey found an excuse to stay at the top of a hiking trail lookout for long enough for jack to draw everything he wanted, even when jack kept looking up and saying they should go even when he wanted to keep drawing, wasn't that love, too?

they'd been loving each other this whole time, so maybe those youtube comments weren't the same after all. because maybe this had always been there, and it just took somebody else, somebody with no reason to lie, to point it out before either of them could see the other side.

when they finally, after almost a year and a half, decide it's time to go home to the city they've finally started to miss, they drive all the way out west again first. jack wants to take route 66 as far as it will go, so they drive from santa monica to Chicago and take pictures at every landmark along the way. it takes a month to be satisfied, and a few more days to make it home after that.

it's the last video davey uploads, he doesn't want to keep vlogging now that he's happily settled into his own skin and found a job he doesn't hate. maybe he'll freelance write on the side, eventually write a memoir about the time he and jack spent driving around just to do it.

in the last video, there are the usual clips. jack goofing off and getting himself in some kind of silly trouble, davey being accident prone and only avoiding getting seriously injured by some stroke of minor luck. there's also a shot of the two of them, the camera left a few feet away, standing at the edge of the grand canyon with jack's head on davey's shoulder. a drawing jack did of the two of them sharing breakfast at a little cafe. a video of jack adding his mark to the Cadillac ranch in texas. the two of them looking out from the top of the gateway arch. the kind of casually loving moments that maybe don't mean anything to some people, but that davey knows are exactly the kind of sign others had been picking up on this whole time. only this time, jack and davey know it too.

#if there are typos no there aren't this is too long to edit and I'm Sleepy #javid #jack kelly #davey jacobs #newsies #idk why jack and davey vanlife called to me so strongly. but it did. so here <3 for you my loving fans

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star-railfanboy · 11 months

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Their Muse

|Hello everyone that comes across this. This is my first writing for Honkai Star Rail. It's going to be a modern au in which the reader is best friends with some of the Star Rail boys and is an artist. The reader will also be smaller than all of the boys. Feel free to change the pronouns to fit your own. Anyways I hope you have a wonderful day or night and please enjoy.

Scenario: You both were considered a pair it's rare to see one without the other. You were always with a sketchbook or something to draw on in your free time. You've been friends since childhood. He constantly wished to see what you had been drawing and is quite surprised when he manages to get a glimpse one day.

Caelus, and Dan Heng (separately) x A Gender Neutral Reader

Warnings: long, minor spoiler character spoilers?, and (minor injuy mentions nothing graphic). |

Caelus:

Caelus and (Name) were hanging out at a new Cafe together. It was one if their free moments and were going to be joined by their other two friends eventually. "I'm bored." Caelus whined leaning against his long time friend. He wasn't even allowed to rummage through the trash cans on the way because they stopped him.

Caelus had had a long time crush on (Name) but felt he had better luck with some trash can than them. It was hard for him to gauge what they thought of him. After all they've always treated him the same way. He admired them for a variety of reasons and always enjoyed their presence.

"Well if you're so bored you can pull up your game you're always playing on your phone. Dan Heng should be here soon after all he sent a text saying so in our group chat. Then we'll just be waiting on March and it's anyone's guess to when she'll arrive." (Name) stated while doodling something in their sketchbook. They occasionally glanced up at him making him pout.

Caelus was looking at them intensely as if begging them to entertain him. He was a being of chaos and needed something going on. "How about you show me what your drawing or teach me to draw instead?" He suggested.

He wasn't sure if it was his gaze or his question but he noticed their cheeks turn pink and they quickly shut their sketchbook "I'm going to order another drink would you like anything?"

Caelus perked up at their words. It meant they were going to treat him. "Can I get another juice?" He asked. They simply nodded placing the sketchbook down and getting up. He noticed the sketchbook was still on the table after they went to the counter. He felt a strong sense of complusion come over him.

The two had been friends for so long but for some reason after they graduated high school (Name) stopped showing him their art. It irrated him because he loved their art. Curiosity had over taken him and he glanced around to see them still at the counter ordering. He sneakily grabbed the sketchbook.

He gently flipped it open. His eyes widened in surprise as he flipped through the pages. They were all very well done sketches of him during different outings the two had. When he got to the most recent page which they were just sketching on and it was him sitting there. He glanced back at them and saw them still waiting for their drinks. His face felt like it was on fire.

He quickly shut the book and contemplated the morality of the actions he just performed. All these years they had started drawing him. The drawings were super flattering. One might think they were drawing a model if they were shown it.

"Hey Caelus why are you so flustered?" March's voice quickly snapped him out his thought. He look up at her. Then watched as she noticed (Name)'s sketchbook and her eyes lit up. She quickly grabbed it as they came back to the table.

They placed Caelus' drink right in front of him. Then set their's down before trying to grab their sketchbook from their hyperactive friend. "March I love you but my drawings are private!" Their face had become a deep red. While March held it away from them.

"No! You let Dan Heng see it once but Caelus and I never get to. Just a peak to make it fair. Caelus you wanna see it too don't you?" She whined holding it away from the other. Caelus looked at the two. His guilt was eating away at him. He had a choice to make. He didn't want to be dishonest and March seeing what's in it would mean playing a game of a thousand questions.

Thankfully he didn't have to ponder too much because their stoic friend showed up grabbing the sketchbook from March 7th. "When I saw their sketchbook it was merely because they were asked for my opinion on a drawing. They'll show us when they want to." He simply said handing the book back to them.

"Caelus you have to be curious too right? After all you two are always together and have been friends for like ever. You should help me convince the buzz kills." March whined shaking his arm. Caelus felt it was better to own up to his crimes before March gets back on the topic of his blush.

He cleared his throat looking away rubbing the back of his neck. "I was so I glanced at it while (Name) was getting us some more drinks" He admitted refusing to look at the others.

"Oh did you see their note then?" Dan Heng asked wondering if he should take March somewhere else while the other two talk. Caelus looked surprised again and noticed (Name) was hiding their face with the book. "I didn't. (Name) give it back I need to see this note." He said getting up and reaching for it. They were now playing keep away from him. It was futile because his arms were longer.

"It's not in here anymore I ripped it out." They stated. Caelus looked disappointed. "Wait what's in the sketchbook!?!?" March questioned before being lead away towards the counter by Dan Heng. "We're going to go order drinks while you two sort things out." He said walking away with March.

(Name)'s face was now on fire refusing to look at the other. Caelus leaned down. "So why were you so ashamed of showing me all these drawings. They are very flattering and to know you use me as your art muse makes me happy." He teased. "If you liked me you could've just said so after all the feeling is the same." He said giving a smile.

He grabbed their hand which made their face become more red. He kissed their forehead and the two heard a click. They looked over to see March holding her camera towards them with eyes shining. "You two need to allow me to be apart of the wedding!" She said excitedly.

"They aren't exactly dating just yet though it will be nice to not hear anymore of their pinning." Dan Heng stated crossing his arms. (Name) just wanted to disappear into the floor.

Dan Heng:

Dan Heng got along well with his best friends. Sometimes he'd wonder what it would be like to date them. The two have always been able to spend several hours together in a comfortable silence. He'd be reading while (Name) would be drawing. He never was shown their art work which made him a bit disappointed but he refused to press them in the matter. He figured they would show him if they wished for him to see.

When the two went off to college together they decided to rent an apartment together. After all they've always been near one another since they were young. There was a point he had lost his memories for a bit due to an injury. He started falling in love with them after that incident. A lot of his old friends abandoned him during that time simply because they didn't wish to rebuild the relationship.

However (Name) told him that it was ok he didn't remember them. They wanted to stay by his side even if it meant their friendship had to start over. He regained all the memories he had lost though. He was glad they didn't leave him.

After all that he started noticing very little things about them. He also realized he liked listening to their voice and seeing their smile. It wasn't until he was on an outing with Himiko and Mr. Yang where Himiko pointed out he was in love with his best friend. The idea was reinforced when he was with Caelus and invited him to a study session with the two. Caelus stated he didn't want to be a third wheel to the couple and was planning a date with a trash can instead.

Dan Heng was surprised that a few people had brought the matter of a crush up to him. He wasn't able to deny his feelings now though he didn't want anything to change so he remained quiet about them. Being able to spend his evenings with them while they drew and he read was enough for him.

He was heading home from some of his biology classes. He had gotten out early which was rare but he wasn't complaining. He was gifted a new book from (Name) that he wanted to start reading.

He figured that they wouldn't be home yet when he walked through the door. He went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. On the counter he noticed (Name)'s sketchbook laying there open. He would be lying if he wasn't curious. So he took a quick peak at the page it was open to.

His face immediately heated up. He hid his blush behind his hand. It was a very well drawn sketch oh himself. There were some hearts neatly drawn around it in the blank space. He quickly took a picture of it and sent it to Caelus asking if he knew what it meant. He wouldn't dare send it to March 7th as he couldn't handle the teasing from her at the moment.

'They like you in the same way you like them is my only guess. That drawing is very flattering. Do you think they'd draw me of I asked them?' Caleus had quickly responded. Dan Heng felt his thoughts racing for a second. 'I'm unsure if they would they tend to keep their art private as they draw for themself. Do you mind if we meet up I need help sorting my thoughts?'

Caelus immediately responded with a pompom emoji and 'Be there soon.' Dan Heng had to admit he was glad his friend was sometimes happy to help. Though he wondered if. It was conditioned into him from being asked all the time.

Within a few minutes there was a knock on the door. Dan Heng went to answer and saw Caelus who invited himself in. He walked over to the counter and saw the sketchbook. "Have you looked at any other pages?" He asked.

The black haired male shook his head no. "I don't think I was supposed to see this page. They told me earlier they left in a rush because they had forgotten about their class today." He answered. He watched the taller male walk over and start flipping through the pages.

Dan Heng frowned. "We shouldn't look through it without their permission." He said. Gold eyes looked back at him unbothered. "Shouldn't have left it where I could find it. Be glad March isn't here. She'd be taking pictures of every drawing and sending them to everyone." He stated matter of factly.

"They definitely like you back. This sketchbook is filled to the brim with drawings of you when you two hang out and when we're together as a group. Hey they drew me as a raccoon! Rude." Caelus said with a blank expression.

Dan Heng raised an eyebrow at his friend. "It's pretty accurate if you asked me. What should I do about this situation?" He asked himself. "Ask them out. Though you'll probably get too in your head if you do it in person. I'm gonna ask March and Himiko how they'd do it." Caelus answered closing the sketchbook. "Once you're dating they owe me a drawing of me that isn't a raccoon." He pulled out his phone.

He sent a messages to Kafka instead of the two he mentioned March would ask too many questions and he didn't wanna deal with it and Himiko would just tell him to be honest. He noticed Dan Heng's eyes went wide at the two he mentioned. "Caelus please tell you didn't actually ask those two?" He said.

"Nah I asked someone else whose good at romance." Caelus said waiting for her to respond. Romance wasn't his Forte after all when he was down on his luck he considered dating a trash can. He saw the message. 'If you're too shy to do it in person just write them a letter and let them find it. Though your future lover will need to get my approval kiddo.'

Caelus then grabbed Dan Heng's phone. "What are you doing?" He asked. The silver haired boy rolled his eyes. "Just trust me." The taller male pulled up (Name)'s contact. He typed out a confession that sounded like Dan Heng's writing. He immediately sent the message. "Here's your phone back." He said handing it back to him.

Dan Heng's eyes went wide and he quickly tried deleting the message from the chat log but froze when he saw three dots indicating they had seen the message and was typing a response. Caelus was watching the chaos with an entertained smile. While Dan Heng was standing there frozen.

His face felt like it was on fire when they said they liked him back and was wondering if he wanted to go on a date. He was now contemplating hitting Caelus or thanking him. "I'm gonna be your best man right?" The golden eyed boy asked.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #dan heng x reader #caelus x reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #dan heng #caelus #taylor writes

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ichorblossoms · 17 days

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i only remember the day i made grimm and yarrow bc it was 4/20 and i thought it was funny anyways happy one year to these two fuckers eating away at my brain and here's to them continuing to do that for...the foreseeable future

since i have created So much about them in this year, i wanna recap what the fuck i've done bc i have never had this happen before. it's definitely new to hyperfixate on some ocs so intensely but i'm having a good time with everything so! i can't say i'm upset that these two kicked my ass into gear with drawing so much !!

starting off with the first sketches of them i scribbled down before i had to get back to work on other stuff bc i don't think i posted these

they've evolved a bit but....not by much really. esp in regards to yarrow i had what is more or less his current design nailed down within a day. not to mention that these two both had names within 24 hours? that usually does NOT happen for me

in terms of all the other art, th galleries aren't the absolute best metric to measure how much i've drawn my ocs bc it doesn't account for all the sketches and wips i have lying around and i upload gift art so it's not all mine in there NONETHELESS it's wild comparing their th gallery stats to the main trio of ttw bc those three literally have a decade of existence on them

(also grimm has five more standalone pieces of fanart than yarrow, so the gap between how much i've drawn the two of them is even smaller)

within a year, these two have, give or take, half the amount of stuff as i've managed to make for my other mains that have been around over a decade. ofc with ttw being around so long there are a lot of unfinished things, paper drawings i have stashed away, things that're retconned, and so many more sketchbook doodles of them that just never got posted so it's not as comparable to honeybee bc it's a more constant slowburn in my brain. but still. still

that's also not to mention the 16 or so full comic pages i've drawn for them?? (most of those are under toyhouse's literature bc it's easier to post them that way) which doesn't sound like a lot, but bc i've never done that before with any of my ocs it's. wild to me. i'm still figuring out a method that makes making comics as painless as possible bc i have ideas! but it still feels like i'm like pulling teeth sometimes! i can say it feels a bit easier to make comics now but i still have a lot to figure out :,,D

also i've been writing. i don't consider myself a writer. i said "fuck it we ball" and started writing. i guess i am on technicality, and it's not as if i haven't written anything at all (hi ttw and the old peartree draft), but definitely haven't written extensive prose before this. anyways i've got a 10k-word outline and am approximately 35k words into the first draft so it's not nothing! in fact that's a lot for me, esp bc i'm constantly battling the urge to edit things over and over and also the awareness of the skill gap between me and all of the writers i am constantly reading so it's overall just a...really slow process OTL

because i'm deranged and refuse to make things easy on myself, i envision honeybee as an illustrated novel, but not necessarily illustrated like fantasy novels are i'm talking like....a novel with comic panels in it. i have a vision. (also i had a dream where i read a book like this i can See it in my mind). it's fine. i'm normal. <if this comes to be for realsies i will have to learn how to do so much typesetting bullshit

i don't have any special art to commemorate my Year of Brainrot, but i guess i'll post some writing below the cut. heads up this is First Draft Shit, even though these are the parts i'm currently more fond of i am...not confident in my skills as a writer yet so please offer me some lenience hgfklhgld

anything in [these brackets] is going to be drawn either as a standalone illustration or a small series of comic panels so just hold my hand and imagine with me.

ordered chronologically but missing a Lot of context partially bc i'm not writing any of this in order. i try to keep grimm (they/it) and yarrow's (he/they) pronouns consistent, but excuse any flips bc again, this hasn't been through any external editing, in fact y'all are the first to see any of these words.

part 1 (years 0 to ~1)- least written-for part atm but i re-outlined it semi-recently so i know where to take it

*grimm is misgendered here intentionally, yarrow doesn't know The Pronouns yet

part 2 (years ~6 to ~8)- currently the most-written

part 3 (years ~9 to ~10)

does a little dance and makes jazz hands before faceplanting. thank you if you read any of that hkgdslfhlfk

#rambles #honeybee #writing #i'll probably have more to add later but i have to be at work at seven and will be dealing with toddlers until noon #<king of getting out of bed and out the door in like seven minutes. not always by choice #reading through my writing makes me realize how fucking much i Haven't written and. it's a bit daunting tbh #also like. some of these parts i've written have already been mentally rewritten but i'm Forcing Myself to not do that until i have a more #substantial first draft #i'm so much better at editing and analyzing once i have something on the page it's just. getting it on the page. pain and agony #i am having fun though. like i complain but i'm enjoying this #grimm #yarrow #grimmyarrow

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chalametluvrz · 9 months

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love drunk

eddie munson x neutral!reader

tags gender neutral language. reader and eddie are best friends. boarding school!au. reader going on a date with random oc. jealous eddie. oblivious reader. secret crushing. alcohol abuse. getting drunk. smoking weed. vomiting. drunk and high eddie. drunk confessions. reader taking care of eddie. fluff towards the end.

wc 1.9k

eddie couldn't stand it. hearing you bang on about your upcoming date, despite his oh so obvious attempts at flirting with you. but what hurt more was that it was with no one other than joe fucking sanchez; some stupid kid that worked in a local cafe and that just so happened to have picked on eddie throughout his entire childhood.

you knew he hated joe, but you always insisted that the arrogant boy was sorry and had changed since the mishap last year. eddie never believed you though, always insisting that joe was precisely the same as he was before and that he was just trying to fool you, and everyone else.

joe had never given you a reason to dislike him recently, he'd been sweet and polite, even slightly flirty so it wasn't surprising when he asked you to meet him after his 6pm finish to go on a small coffee date. you could say anything but yet, you'd spend years pining over eddie for him to never even notice your feelings so what was the harm in putting yourself out there?

"why did you have to say yes to him?" eddie scoffs, looking through his sketchbook, quickly turning over the sketches of you.

"do we have to go over this again?" you ask him "i said yes because i think i like him," you continue "okay? end of discussions, and all other discussions about this topic."

"fine," he huffs, throwing his book to the side of him "i just don't get what you see in him," eddie mumbled "i just thought it'd be fun for us to go to that party together and get high, you know? but i guess not."

eddie grabbed his book and stormed out of your room, leaving you confused and baffled about his attitude towards you ever since he found out of whatever thing you and eddie had.

"hey joe," you smiled lightly, still unable to get eddie out of your mind. everything about him had been bugging you lately, he'd been so off, and it wasn't just because i was going out with the person he painted to be his so-called 'arch nemesis.' there was more going on but typical eddie, he refused to tell you anything.

"you look so pretty," joe smiled at you "you want your usual? i'll make it before i clock out for the day." you nod at his question, giving him a quiet 'please.'

"are you okay?" he asks, looking at you in worry. "you seem slightly preoccupied up here," joe adds, lightly tapping your head with his finger as you did. god, it must be prominent in your thoughts for it to be written all over your enough for jiyun to notice.

"it's eddie," you mumble "he's being off with me, and i'm not used to it... we've been best friends for years and he's never once been like this with me," you explain, opening up to joe about the longer haired boy despite their obvious past with each other.

"does he know about our date?"

"yeah..." you sigh, walking up to the counter as joe started prepping your drink.

"then there's your answer," joe smiled at you with a saddened expression. "he really doesn't like me and seeing you, his best friend, go out with me has probably struck a few nerves. it's understandable, i just wished he could learn to forgive me and then it wouldn't be awkward for you."

"yeah, that's probably it." "i just hate it, you know?"

whilst you were sulking about joe and his current behaviour towards you; the boy was sat, chatting with steve, a freshly lit blunt in his left hand.

"i just... they know i hate him," eddie whines. whenever he got a little too drunk or stoned he always acted like a baby; he got whiny, emotional and extremely stubborn with his thinking. it was something you, and all the nightshades had to quickly learn to get accustomed to because he truly was a sensitive soul already, never mind when he was intoxicated. "and it's so obvious i like them, they're so oblivious sometimes, why can't they notice? you all do."

steve chuckled at the boys' complaints, thinking about how ironic what eddie was saying actually is. he was whining about how you never noticed eddie's feelings when eddie himself had never noticed yours despite how sickeningly noticeable it was to everyone else. you were both dumb in his eyes, both as oblivious as each other.

"dude.. you should just tell them," steve says, taking a hit of his blunt. "you're both so dumb.. can you see how she likes you back?"

"obviously not if they're going a date with joe," eddie mutters, bottom lip sticking out.

"or maybe they're trying to put themselves out there in an attempt to get over you because they think you don't like them," steve chuckled slightly because he knew that's exactly what it was; you'd told him yourself. "how do i get through your head that they're crushing on you so hard."

"keep thinking that, mingi," e wafddiefled on, "but you're mistaken, i know you are. why would they like me anyway?" "what is there to like?"

"eddie, you really need to get your head out of your ass."

some time had passed and eddie still hadn't moved from the same place, sat sulking the entire time; the only thing that had changed was the beer bottle in one hand and the bud that was in the other.

his lack of attention towards the party was honestly worrying steve so he decided to send you a text.

steve: 'hey y/n! i know you're on a date, but eddie's really acting weird and i really don't think he'll phase out of it until you talk to him'

your phone lights up as you sit across the table from joe, and you shift your gaze to it, noticing it was a text from steve. what could he possibly want? you thought he would be lights-out drunk with yunho at this party...

"sorry joe, let me just reply to this, it's steve," you smile, quickly picking your phone to quickly see what the snake haired boy had to say.

steve: 'he's really stuck on this joe thing.. but it's for a different reason than what you're thinking. he's been sat sulking all night, on the verge of tears over how you never notice him but you notice joe. please, whenever you can, come talk to him because there's so much he wants to say to you, he just never does.'

your eyes widen as you read the text. you really didn't know eddie was as stuck on this joe thing as much as you thought, but it must have hit him bad for him to be on the verge of tears.

"joe.. i.. i'm really sorry," you start off, pouting slightly, "but i've got to go," you continue, quickly collecting your stuff.. "it's ed-" "eddie," joe cuts you off with a smile. "yeah..." you sigh, feeling bad for ditching him.

"i'm not annoyed y/n, i understand," joe smiles "you're good for each other. go talk to him, he needs you."

"thank you, joe, thank you so much," you smile. "i enjoyed today.. i just-" "y/n, you need to go," joe chuckled, watching you leave the cafe quickly.

you quickly weaved and bended around the crowds of people before seeing steve and robin.

"y/n!" steve yells as he sees your figure in the corner of his eye. "i'm really sorry to text you on your date.. but eddie," steve trailed off.

"it's no worries at all, eddie. where is he?" you ask softly.

"he went off to his room around 10 minutes ago, he looked like he was about to cry," steve said, giving you a sad smile before you quickly made your way to eddie's room.

you knocked on his door quickly, knowing that he'd probably tripped over a good few things and hurt himself in his drunken state. but there was no reply.

"eddie?" you call out, knocking on the door again.

"y/n?" he asks, voice slurred out, "wait.. it can't be y/n, they're on a date with joe, they wouldn't be here for me."

"eddie, it's me," you chuckle, letting yourself in.

"what are you doing here?" he asks. eddie was lying on his bed, a bottle of beer in his hand and an exhausted expression on his face. the redness surrounding his eyes showed he'd either been crying or rubbing his eyes to stop himself from crying.

"steve told me you were acting off," you admitted "he knows nobody can get you to talk like me," you continue, sitting on the space beside him.

"i just.. never mind," eddie sighs "it's nothing."

"please speak to me," you hum, budging closer to him. "steve said you needed to tell me something, something that you can never find the time to say," you edge him on, hoping that'd help him figure out what to say.

"it's just.. promise this won't change anything?"

"it won't eddie."

"i like you," he blurts out "heck, i think i love you. and seeing you go on a date with another guy, especially joe, fucking hurts. i'm so obvious about the way i feel and you never seem to fucking notice me," eddie pouts, his voice almost sounding desperate, as if he was longing for you for some time. "i just wanted you to notice me.." he sighs, eyes welling up with tears, "i just wanted you to turn around to me one day and say you liked me back to, but you never did.."

everything he was saying took you back. you were utterly shocked. eddie liked you back? was he really obvious about his feelings and you had just never noticed it at all? but you'd always thought you were obvious about how you felt towards him... maybe you were both as oblivious as each other.

"eddie, i.." "and this is where you tell me that you don't like me back, that things could never work between us, that we're just friends," eddie interrupts, mind obviously frazzled from the drink, "that i'm just a stupid boy... with a stupid crush..." he rolls off, the sadness oozing in his voice.

"eddie, that's not-" "you don't even have to say it, y/n, i already know what you're going to say."

"eddie!" you yell, catching him off guard.

"what?" he asks, confused.

"i like you too," you smile, looking at him directly in the eyes.

"you.. you do?" eddie asks, eyes widening.

"yeah..."

"but.. but joe.." he mumbles.

"i went on the date with him because i thought you'd never like me back so i thought i'd put myself out there to see if i'd work out with anyone else," you say to him "me and joe don't have anything, he told me to come here, to come and see you."

"so.. you like me?" he asks, giggling a little. the person he's had a crush on for years actually likes him back? for real?

"yes eddie, i like you," you say "now can please get you cleaned and covered up... you've got beer down your shirt and you're high as hell," you chuckle, giving him a small smile. "how does a coffee sound?"

eddie nods. "sounds perfect."

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson scenario #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie stranger things #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things scenario #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff

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elisysd · 4 months

Text

58. Hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: About You - The 1975

“Last time we talked about Ethan, I asked you to come with something which symbolized your relationship.” Doctor Francis said as Julia was rummaging through her bag to pull out her sketchbooks which she gave to the therapist.

“It’s not really something that symbolizes us, but at some point in our relationship, I started to draw him. His eyes mostly. And I was cleaning up my stuff lately and I found some very old sketchbooks in boxes… looking through them I noticed that drawing Ethan, or at least things that reminded me of him, wasn’t new. I have little doodles of his karts, cars and even helmets here and there… It started when I was around seven and I used to go with my dad on karting tracks where Ethan was racing because my dad and his dad had a karting team together and Ethan was part of it. The more the years went by, the more I found drawings related to him. I guess I’ve never noticed before that I was drawing a lot of little doodles about everything and I never paid attention.”

“Why do you think it happened?”

“The drawings? I don’t know… that’s what I want to understand.” she replied.

“You know… our mind works in wonderful ways. Most of the time, the words we don’t want to say find another way to come out. You share a lot of history with Ethan. He had always been around you, you grew up together. He has been a huge part of your life.”

“But we couldn’t see eye to eye back then.”

“They’re still strong feelings that you never really got to say out loud, that you kept buried inside. Which isn’t surprising, you had a lot of things going on at the time. Are you able to find in your memories a time when Ethan made you feel nice? That you didn’t consider him as an enemy? Before you guys had to date.”

Julia leaned in her chair, thinking, until a very precise memory striked her.

“I think we were fourteen or fifteen at the time… our dads had the idea of doing Le Mans together, so naturally we went with them. It was a big family trip at the time and quite a huge thing for the media. I mean two world champions, rivals on tracks at the time, united in an attempt to win this prestigious race, you bet we had the media behind us at every move. It was wild and even more since Ethan was starting to grow a reputation in junior racing categories. It was also when school was tough on me. I spent my day trying to avoid the cameras and the journalists, hiding where I could. But at some point, I wanted to enjoy the atmosphere so I left the hospitality and soon I started to get surrounded by journalists asking questions about my dad and things like that. It became too much to the point I felt like I was about to faint until I felt Ethan arriving and brutally asking the journalists to leave me alone. I don’t remember much of what happened exactly but he stayed with me the whole day, not leaving my side and checking up on me. We didn’t talk, I think we were both too stubborn to acknowledge that maybe our rivalry was stupid. We never talked about it after. I’m not even sure he remembers, anyway.”

“How does it make you feel now? Thinking about it?”

“Like we were both very stupid at the time. We could have been friends. We had the same issues, we were very alike. But instead, we chose to fight. In a way, it had always pushed me to try to be the best but at the same time, we would have had each other to lean on. But it’s the past. I don’t want to dread it.” she said.

“Understanding your past is one of the most important things. Because if you don’t, you will inevitably fall back into your bad habits and you will let your worst fears hold you back. I want to talk about your feelings for Ethan. Especially since you’re going to see him and from what you’ve told me you’re ready for a relationship. I’m glad to hear it, by the way. I can’t wait, I’m sure we will have a lot to talk about in the future.”

“Glad to see you have this much faith in me, doctor. I won’t screw up this time. I’m sure of what I want.”

“I’m not saying you’re not. I’m just telling you that it will be a big change for you and that I’ll help you navigate through it.”

She nodded, a little relieved to know that she had someone to talk to if things were getting rough.

She came back right on time to watch the press conference. They were all in New-York for the very first Grand Prix hold there. Julia wasn’t very enthusiastic about it, finding the track design a bit boring but as usual, she didn’t like to judge before seeing what it would be like. On the other hand, Ethan was not so prompt to keep his judgment for himself and when a journalist asked him what his thoughts were, he didn’t hesitate very long.

“Obviously, it’s a new track for everyone so the only way to drive around it was through simulation. I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I think it will be boring to watch and boring to drive. I can’t wait for it to be over.”

She saw Ludwig almost laughing but quickly regaining his composure to say more or less the same thing in a more diplomatic way. Truth be told, she barely watched the race that weekend, busy crafting a little something for Ethan. She had put in a lot of time and effort. It was a personal gift, something she hoped held enough meaning for him to be able to trust her a little bit. As Etha had said, nothing interesting happened besides a third place for Romy, a redemption for the German driver.

Her week before Vegas was full. She had started putting up documentations for the Team Principals as well as for the drivers that she intended to give to Kyle. A few back and forth texts between them had her confirmed that he was onboard and ready to help her. She had never doubted it but she also knew how of an impact he could have and she was grateful for it. Finally, it was time for her to leave. She finished packing her bags, carefully wrapping a gift for Ethan, one she was as excited as she was terrified to give him.

She landed in Vegas on Friday afternoon, dreaming of a shower and a few hours of sleep. Her flight had been eventful and she was exhausted. She had to meet her dad for dinner in a few hours and she really wanted to not totally look half-dead. Once settled in her room and her suitcase unpacked, she was delighted to notice a bath in her bathroom. She let the water run and enjoyed her newly found peace and quiet to the point she fell asleep in her bath and when finally opened her eyes, the water was cold. She quickly got out and checked her phone, charging on the counter. She was about to be late. She got dressed and ran to the lobby where she encountered Martin, talking to Chloe. Laughing, even. Since when were they close? She thought. The redhead was the one to notice her and smiled.

“Julia, good to see you! I didn’t know you would be here today!”

“Hey… I landed a few hours ago.” she explained.

Martin was looking at her from the corner of his eye and she felt him tensing next to her.

“Ethan will be so happy to see you, he complained a lot about the last races. He has been a bit insufferable. I think he missed you but didn’t want to say it out loud.” Chloe laughed, unaware of Martin’s sudden attitude’s shift.

“I’m happy to see everyone. Martin, can I talk to you?” she asked, turning to him as she saw him shrug.

He promised Chloe they would catch up later and followed Julia in a corner of the lobby.

“What do you want?” he asked, laconically.

“To make amends. I have a lot of ‘I’m sorrys’ to say. To a lot of people and you’re pretty high on the list.”

“I’m listening.”

“Well, first I’m sorry I led you on. I’m sorry I used your feelings to make me feel better. I used you as a bandaid, knowing that you had feelings for me and it wasn’t fair. I’m sorry I let you believe that I could fall in love with you. You deserve better than what I could have ever given you.”

“I’m sorry too. Truth is, I didn’t grieve as well as I thought. Holding on to you, knowing that I was seeing so much of Cecile in you wasn’t fair as well. We both used each other. Maybe, a part of us needed it. But I don’t regret it. It made me understand that I had my own issues to fix as well. I just hope that, maybe not tomorrow but, in the future we will be able to be friends.” he smiled sadly.

“You’re a good guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you and I hope you'll find the right girl soon. Because you’re truly amazing and…”

“I found the right girl once and lost her. Found you and thought that life was giving me a second chance at happiness and only got disappointed. Excuse me, but I think I will give up on love for the future. Maybe I’m just not made to be happy.” he sighed leaving her there.

She looked at his figure disappearing outside as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She smiled recognizing her dad. They left the hotel for the restaurant, sat at their table and started to catch up. Julia explained to him her project in detail and with passion as he listened to her, giving her advice and pointing out the potential struggles she would be facing.

“I have a meeting with Seb after qualifying tomorrow to talk him through it.”

“Good. He will be happy to help you. Have you thought about a name for your association?”

“I did… Somnis. Dreams in latin. I like it because it sounds serious and it’s the purpose of charity. For those kids to believe in their dreams, for them to know they have the right to dream. And it doesn’t give away that I’m the one behind it.” she explained.

“In the span of a few weeks you’ve grown so much. You’re less fidgety, more peaceful.”

“I don’t know if it’s growing up. Letting go of all the lies and starting therapy was what I needed. It’s helping me a lot. The guilt and all the lies were eating me away. I feel free, I have a clear mind and new goals. I’m doing okay, I’m doing better.” she nodded.

They came back to the hotel as the night was starting to fall. She had one last thing to do before calling it a day. Thanks to Chloe who had texted her Ethan’s room number a little while ago, she knew where to find him. On her way to the hotel she had stopped to a florist to buy a gigantic bouquet of white and blue flowers. Bouquet that was resting in her room in a huge vase she had bought at the same time. Maybe it was incredibly cheesy, but she wanted to be. She wanted to surprise him, to see him laugh and tease her.

She reapplied a little bit of lipstick, smudged after her meal and gave herself a few words of encouragement before taking the flowers and going to his room. She took a deep breath, hoped he was there and knocked. She then proceeded to hide behind the bouquet that she had asked gigantic enough to hide her head. She heard the door unlocking before recognizing his voice.

“ What is it for…. oh gosh.”

“Special delivery, for a special driver.” she said, trying to lower her voice.

“And can I ask who this special delivery is from?”

“A very cute girl who approximately flew twelve hours to see you.”

“A cute girl, right? It will have to be a little more precise, I have a few names coming up in my mind.”

She put down the bouquet, revealing herself to Ethan’s smug smile. He was leaning against the doorframe in a white tee-shirt and gray sweatpants, his blonde hair damped after his shower.

“Surprise!” she exclaimed, holding the flowers in front of his face.

“Are they for me?” he asked, taking the flowers in his hands and inviting her to follow him inside. He put them on the coffee table before sitting on an armchair.

“I hope they bring you luck.” she whispered, suddenly shy.

“If I’m lucky, I’m sure it won’t be because of the flowers.”

“How are you doing?” she asked, a little more seriously.

“Honestly? Tired. I can’t wait for the season to be over. I need a break, I need to spend time with my family and friends, I need my bed, I need peace and quiet. And Vegas isn’t the most quiet race. I’m thinking of a trip… Kyle said Bali was amazing and he showed me so many pictures that now, I really want to go. But I’m not sure I want to go alone…”

“Are you asking me to join you?”

“Not yet. I’m waiting to see if you deserve it.” he nudged her shoulder.

“And I’m ready to prove to you that I do.” she let her head fall on his shoulder, jet lag finally catching up to her.

“You’re tired.” Ethan whispered, lips pressed to her forehead.

She nodded, snuggling a little more into his side.

“You’re warm. And you smell nice. I missed it.”

“And whose fault is that?” he asked.

She was surprised to not hear resentment in his voice. Instead, it was playful. His left arm was casually resting around her shoulders as his hand was drawing small patterns on her skin, calming her down and making her fall asleep.

“I should go… You’re a nice pillow but I should let you rest.” she stated, slowly straightening up.

“Don’t.” he pulled her back against him. “Stay.”

“I thought you didn’t want to complicate things.”

“Fuck complicated, Joolsie. You are comfortable, I am too. I don’t want to see you leave, you can barely keep your eyes open. Let’s pretend we are doing good, at least for tonight.”

“It won’t blur the lines, right?”

“I don’t care about the lines tonight.”

“Good, because I don’t care about them either.” she mumbled, letting him take her in his arms to lay her down on the bed.

“We need to get you out of these clothes, miss.”

“Eager to see me naked, Eth?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Joolsie.” he laughed.

He gave her one of his sweaters so she could change and took a few pillows out of the wardrobe so Julia could feel comfortable.

She had missed his scent, she had missed how his clothes looked on her, she had missed the sheer feeling of anticipation, knowing he was in the same room as her, she had missed his affectionate voice talking to her. She had missed him. She would never let him go. Not again. Not when all that he did made her feel so full of hope for the future, so alive, so happy, so calm, so grounded. How could she have ever thought that it was something she should be running away from? He wasn’t perfect, far from it. She wasn’t either but somehow, they fitted. In a weird and almost twisted way. He was understanding her when she was not understanding herself, he was seeing her. He was seeing everything she was and everything she wanted to hide. And he wasn’t judging her, he wasn’t saying that she was unworthy of his attention. He had decided to stay and she wanted to show him she was doing the same. He was loving her when she was learning how to love herself. She felt a tear on her cheek. A happy one. She was in love.

When she came back he was already in bed, eyes closed. She carefully approached him, slipping under the cover and snuggled against him. He didn’t move, only let out a sigh of content before playing with her hair.

“The nice thing with late races is that I can oversleep a little tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to disturb your sleep schedule, though. You need to be ready for tomorrow.”

“I’ll be fine. How is your therapy going? If I can ask.”

“It’s going well. I learn a lot of stuff about myself. Did I tell you I went skydiving with my dad? To learn how to let go. I thought it was a stupid idea at first but it worked surprisingly well. I would love to do that again. With you this time.”

“I would love to.”

“Well, I can add that to my bucket list, then.” she said.

“Oh, you have a bucket list?”

“Yes. It’s called Julia’s happiness. Another idea from my therapist. He asked me to make a list of all the things I would like to do that could make me happy.”

“And what is on this list?” he asked.

“Spending more time with the people I love, drawing more, reading more, going on hikes, doing more things out of my comfort zone… and you.” she confessed.

“Me? Interesting.”

“Stop pretending like you don’t know.”

“I just hope that I’m not the only reason why you are happy.”

“Not anymore. Not since I’ve found a purpose in my life. Someone once told me that I needed to find a reason to be happy on my own. And I think I’ve found it. It took me a while to get there but… better late than never. Now I can focus on being even happier.”

“One step at a time, Joolsie.”

“You’re right. But, really… therapy is helping me a lot. It’s going to be a long one but now that he knows every single thing that is wrong with me, we can work on them.”

“I’m proud of you. I haven’t told you.”

“I’m proud of you too.” she smiled, burying her face in his chest.

When she woke up the next day, she was alone. Still, Ethan had taken the time to leave her a note, under one of the white roses of his bouquet.

My little sleepyhead,

I don’t know when you’ll wake up but I had to leave for the track and you were very deep asleep. You can find a paddock pass on the coffee table. It is for quali, I wasn’t able to get you one for the race but I’m sure someone else got you covered. I hope you can make it. See you there.

PS: You’re cute when you’re sleeping even if you drool.

She got to the paddock forty-five minutes before the start of qualifying. She had tried to see Ethan or even Chloe to wish them luck but they were respectively training with their physiotherapist and she didn’t want to bother them. Her dad was already on the pitwall, getting ready. She waved at him but he didn’t see her. She briefly saw Kyle, getting ready. He smiled at her as she mouthed him good luck. She stopped by Audi’s garage where Seb was talking to Romy. As soon as the German girl saw her best friend, she ran to her to take her in her arms.

“Oh gosh, I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

“I have so many things to tell you!”

“I know Romy. But now, you have to focus. You have a pole to get.”

“Where are you watching?”

“Ethan’s given me a pass for today but tomorrow, I’m staying close to you and you will be able to tell me everything.”

“Ethan? Girl, you and I have to talk. And yeah, I have to tell you all about how Kyle’s mom is a wicked witch. I can’t wait. I know you’ll get me.”

Romy hugged her one last time before running to her race engineer, leaving Julia with Seb.

“Lewis told me about the meeting with the FIA. He told me what your project is and I’m one hundred percent behind you. Audi will be.”

“It means a lot to know that I have you onboard Seb. You’ve always been an example for people in this sport. I’m not only talking about drivers but for everyone. What you stand for, your values, they are rare in this world.”

“Have you thought about a chart? Something for the team to sign if they are committed to join you?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, here in Audi, all our workforce, whether it’s at the factory or here in the paddock, has to sign a chart where a few principles are written. It’s about what we stand for, what we represent as a brand and as individuals. It’s not much but it means that we are all held accountable. I can send you a copy so you have an idea of what it means.”

She thanked the German team principal before he had to leave. She quickly got into the Maserati garage, in the zone meant for the drivers’ guests. She crossed paths with Chloe who smiled bright at her before giving her a quick hug.

“Ethan is going to be so happy to have you here! He hasn’t shut up about you!” winked the Belgian leaving Julia speechless.

She also saw Sofia, alone in a corner, completely unbothered. Julia gulped. She had not had the occasion to talk to her after assuming that she was Ethan’s new girlfriend. She blushed from awkwardness before approaching her.

“Julia.” the woman greeted her with a tight smile.

“You know who I am?”

“I think I know you inside and out, yeah. Ethan talked a lot about you. You’re one of the reasons why he seeked my help.”

“Yeah… well… I think we didn’t start off on the right foot. I wanted to properly introduce myself and.. I wanted to say sorry. For assuming stuff without properly asking.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind. You couldn’t know. Let’s move past that, especially since I think we will see each other quite a lot in the near future.”

“I guess, yeah. I hope so. Not that I want to see you, I mean… Don’t take it personally but…”

“It’s okay, Julia. I know what you mean.”

She was grateful when silence was asked to be made as qualifying was about to start. Ethan struggled during the first part, barely managing to make it through as Chloe was flying. Julia felt anxious and hoped that going to see him the day before, and spending the night with him hadn’t made him lose focus, she would feel extremely bad. Thankfully, it got slightly better during the Q2 managing to take the P5 after a last lap where he gave his all. Biting her nails, she hoped for a good place for him. He needed it after two bad weekends, nowhere near his usual performances. She was so anxious that she could’n watch, preferring closing her eyes until she heard cries of joy. She felt a hand on her shoulder as Sofia showed her the broadcast. Pole position. His third one. Chloe was also P3 which was amazing for her. Romy was P2.

She saw the two Maserati’s drivers celebrating after benign rushed to the interviews and Julia felt like a lifetime had been spent when she finally managed to see him. He rushed to her, taking her in his arms.

“I’m so happy. You have no idea. So proud of you.” she mumbled in his neck.

“You brought me luck.” he smiled, kissing the side of her head as he threw an arm around her waist to guide her away from prying eyes.

“You don’t need luck.”

“I’m so gutted you won’t be able to watch the race here! I would have loved to have you in the garage.” he complained.

“No matter where I am tomorrow, I’m rooting for you. Always. And this time, I promise, when you’ll win, I’ll wait for you on the other side of the finish line.” she smiled.

Author's note: Slowly, but very surely we are getting to the moment you're all waiting for... Three chapters left before the end....

What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

#writing #fiction #charles leclerc #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x oc #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen

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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months

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went back to the sketchbooks around when i was going through yyh for the first time in 2019 and found a pile of near-yearly sticky note updates about my relationship with the series next to my first yyh doodles, a page full of kuwabaras. thought it'd be fun to share

+ more thoughts and old yyh art below

(it's crazy i didn't find any kurama-centric pages for months bc i think he's the one i doodled in the margins of class notes and stuff the most. his hair's pwetty and he gives me the least trouble outta any of the main 4)

something i noticed while skimming the two sketchbooks i took these from was how mean i was to myself at the time about my art. i guess it hit me more because i don't really spend hours going through my old sketchbooks over and over to track my progress and growth like i used to quite often. i guess it was only a little after when my self esteem was lowest (8th grade, tale as old as time), but... idk. i knew back then that i'd grown a lot in the few years since i started drawing more seriously (that's why i looked through my art so much), but like... i guess that never translated into being nice to myself about it. i ended up going back through about ten more sketchbooks to find more yyh art, and in the coming years i'm glad to say that negativity in the margins went away. hell yeah

but even so, my love for yyh was a constant and effusive thing, as it is now. it's probably the oldest of my current media interests. i watched myself get into rgg and develop my ocs and watched others fade in and out, watched my style loop back on itself and go all over the place, passed by pages of writing about crushes and album releases and gender discoveries and my grandparents dying, all surrounded by little drawings of the characters i love. including kuwabara in a maid dress right next to my dead grandma grief rambling that one time (no i'm not kidding. my grandma died in like late 2020 and the page where i poured my heart out after finding out she was gone just trying to process everything had one with catboy maid dress kuwabara directly opposite it, who i'd drawn like the evening before she died in her sleep. he killed my grandma from like 100 miles away he was that powerful. that wasn't even the last time i drew him like that and i don't even care about catboys or maid dresses much. i think it was just a bigger meme and he was the guy i most associated with cats. i put that man in a situation and he fucking got her because the book couldn't contain him. some victor frankenstein shit. anyway)

i took about 150 pictures, most with multiple sketches. i decided not to add any more though bc 1) i posted some of them on old accounts but i don't remember which ones, and tbh i value my anonymity a little too much 2) All Of The Pictures Turned Out Bad in ways i don't feel like getting into but just trust me it's like 6 layers of fucked up illegible image bullshit 3) i found it hard to narrow it down to things i felt were indicative of the development or interesting or anything like that. idk. i figured it was an interesting exercise for me and it probably wouldn't really mean anything to anyone else. and that's ok :) it was nice anyway. i mostly mention it to be like Oh My God i've drawn these guys a lot and i STILL don't know what i'm doing... :| it's fun

however i did transcribe the notes i left:

7/9/19: yo it's been less than a week & i'm on ep. 80 wtf i love this show

8/14/20: 1/2way thru my 3rd watch (first dub, first [with older sibling]) & honestly still love it & kuwabara being the first one i drew makes me happy

7/28/21: i'm watching it w/ [younger sibling] now! 4th(ish) watch, 2nd time through the dub, which is so much better than the sub really elevates the text. we're at the semifinals of the DT, which means this is technically my 5th time through yyh up until that point but eh semantics anyway i still love & obsess over yyh! <3

1/14/24 (present day): hey, i'm rewatching yyh for the.. idk 5th or 6th time. still love it & never stopped. now i'm writing fic & drawing & posting about it. i have friends i talk to about it. [both siblings] have seen it. so much has changed, and so little, but it made me sad seeing how much i insulted my own art. i love you 2019 me. god knows you needed it

[+ this drawing]:

anyway. forever fornever. if you even care

#that's all. just kind of a personal post i thought was neat. skrunklore #skrunkart #yyh #yu yu hakusho #you can really feel the 14 y/o in a lot of the little notes and stuff but that too is part of the growth and change im trying to celebrate.#ripping my fingernails off about it but it needs to be done #also the hearts are because they love each other. and also me in like a cheering you on kinda way #ok more lore but around jr year i started feeling like my art was getting worse or at least stagnating and i kind of wished i could go back #to the era where a lot of that art is from bc there were little things i was better at and also bc i was much more prolific and adventurous #and while i'm sympathetic to it looking back after another couple of years it's like nah. no i was still growing i was just too close to se #like i'll be like oughh i haven't grown at all in years >:(( and then i'll look at the art i made over the course of 2023 and go oh nvm lol #some of it was more 'getting back into the swing of things' + traditional and tech issues being resolved but there was also growth #there is also stuff to be proud of and there always is and there always will be. that goes for you too reader #no matter what your art does or does not look like. i guess that's part of why im posting this too #part of what got me into visual art was seeing how people's art changed (sketchbook tours). it's cool and seeing that learning process so #well preserved and so easily analyzed kinda activated something in my brain. i think it got me past a lot of the 'im just not talented'#stuff a lotta ppl have that keeps them from drawing or sharing it or whatever. anyway art's cool i love art. gonna go draw now probably :D #ALSO really funny watching the way i drew myself change. all in ways that make sense but still funny to me. long hair glasses girl you'd #probably keel over if you saw what we look like now. hell yeah

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iuteamstarcandy · 5 months

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[INTERVIEW] CeCi (November 2013)

-Return of the Queen- The queen on stage is back. Not as a girl, but as a musician, with music different from others, more mature thoughts and with the name IU who is in her 5th year since her debut.

There are only a few days left to your comeback with your third full-length album, Modern Times’. How do you feel? (The interview was held on 2 October 2013.)

IU: I was fine until yesterday, but I just came back from a meeting for KBS Sketchbook and it suddenly feels very real. I think it's because it's my favorite stage and I want to work harder on it.

Does your heart feel heavy or are you excited?

IU: My heart feels so heavy. I've been controlling my diet for a few days ahead of my comeback, but I kept eating because I was on a roll today. After going on a food tour of tteokbokki, stir-fried spicy pork and stir-fried kimchi, I met (Yoo) In-na unnie at a cafe and we had cake, mixed grains latte and sweet potato latte. I really eat a lot. Sigh, I still have a photoshoot tomorrow, so I'm carrying a lot of guilt on my back right now. Later, I'm going to go to the practice room to relieve my sweat and guilt. (Laughs) I think I'm going to get more nervous every minute from this moment.

I didn’t expect you to be the type to get nervous before your comeback.

IU: I don’t really get nervous usually. However, the choreography of the comeback song ‘The Red Shoes’ is strong and the difficulty level of acting with my expressions is high. There is also the pressure of having to do many things that I have never tried before. Also, until just a year ago, I’m not the kind to get fat easily, but recently, I suddenly started to gain weight, which does make me worry. Looking back, perhaps that period was a rare exception instead though. I was always chubby, but I lost a lot of weight during the two years of ‘Good Day’ and ‘YOU&I’. At that time, no matter how much I ate for supper or stuffed myself, I was losing weight and I was stressed out to hear people call me ‘pitiful’, ‘starved’, or ‘elementary school student’, but now that I'm gaining weight, I wonder what’s going on. (Laughs) I started working out early this year, and I think I'm returning to my normal condition because my body is healthy. I don't know if it's something to feel sad or happy about.

I was surprised to hear that you're on a diet. You have a slim figure. Is it because as an artist, you want to be in the best condition before your comeback?

IU: Thankfully, I still benefit from the image of ‘IU is skinny’. But I’ve put on about 5kg more. (Laughs) If you take away the happiness from eating, you lose happiness, you know. Honestly, if I didn’t gain weight on my face, I don't think I'll ever be on a diet. I'm the type to gain weight starting from my face, so it's hard.

The <Modern Times> teaser was a hot topic. I thought the words ‘sexy’, ‘chic’, and ‘intense’ were far from the previous image of IU.

IU: I kept laughing during the shoot too. (Interviewer: It was funny?) There was no time for me to feel awkward because I was trying something I had never done before. It felt like I was acting as a certain character. I guess I just laughed when I saw someone I didn’t recognise standing in the mirror looking back at me. I kept asking the staff, ‘Is this good? It’s good? kekeke’ and tried my best to do as I was told. Seeing the reactions of people afterwards, some people liked it and some people felt that it was unfamiliar and got flustered, saying it doesn't suit me. The gap between the reactions was actually quite interesting.

I realized from your changing image that IU's ‘coming-of-age ceremony’ has started. You've had a big transformation.

IU: This time, people in each department of the company tried out new things and experimented freely. If I wanted to give it the grand name of a ‘coming-of-age ceremony’, I would have put more effort into it. Every teaser released has a different mood to it. ‘If I throw in multiple things, one of them would make it, right? It doesn't matter if none of them do, since we're having fun and the music is good.’ That's what I thought, so there isn’t any deep significance to the teasers.

People tried to interpret the change. Like it was supposed to be some kind of secret code.

IU: That was a trick, too. I wanted to draw attention and end it with good music anyway. The performance actually isn't exactly unconventional. I'm just going to perform with as much fun as possible and while working as hard as I can.

When it comes to making a choice, you gain something and you lose something. There will be people who want to stick to the existing image of IU.

IU: I don’t enjoy transforming, but I wasn’t nervous about it either. When it was revealed, I thought everyone would be like, ‘What’s this~ hahaha’ I thought it would be fun for everyone. If someone started laughing first, I would have laughed along while saying, ‘Is it possible for me to be sexy~?" It’s a relief that I didn’t become a joke, but kind of a pity too. My fans all gather because they like IU, but they are individuals, so they have different opinions. The reason they like me and the way they look at me are all different. It's hard for me when I talk to my fans too. I can't satisfy everyone perfectly, because everyone has different preferences. I feel especially apologetic towards those who like the cuteness or slyness that I showed in ‘YOU&I’ to the extreme, but I feel that it's time for me to embrace people with different preferences. I think celebrities should also know how to change little by little or transform deeply to satisfy people with other preferences. My fans know. Even the ‘girly’ look I have on stage isn't my real self.

Since you are a musician and a celebrity after all, do you want to become a different character each time to express your songs to the best you can and expand your image by showing that you can perform different types of songs?

IU: That's right. That’s the ideal celebrity, right?

If you are afraid of taking on a challenge, it will be difficult to expand your world of music.

IU: When it comes to my outer appearance, it's entirely up to my company, so that’s how I’m shifting the blame. (Laughs)

That’s unexpected. I thought you would be passionately arguing your way when it comes to music.

IU: When we’re recording songs, my opinion becomes stronger. I totally can't stand songs that I don't like being put on my album. Yet when it comes to things like the visual concept, which is outside of the music itself, there’s nothing I know about it, so I follow my company’s opinion. So if the reactions about things other than the music is not good, it’s like my ego leaves my body and I can pretend not to be myself and laugh along with others while pointing fingers at myself. Since it wasn’t my choice. (Laughs)

Thanks to the fact that you can objectify yourself, your can maintain a healthy mental state. The idea of borrowing from Charlie Chaplin's movie ‘Modern Times’ was also interesting. It was made into a silent film in 1936, during the 10th anniversary of movies with sound, and it was a work that encompassed the present and the past. In that sense, working with musicians like Choi Baek-ho and Yang Hee-eun becomes meaningful.

IU: The theme that my company wanted to included in the album since early on was the integration of the past and the present generations. In my previous album [t/n: Last Fantasy], I worked with Kim Kwang-jin, Yoon Jong-shin, Yoon Sang, Kim Hyun-chul, Lee Juck and Jung Jae-hyung, who are musicians representative of the 1980s and 90s. I also liked the analog emotions of that time period. I was really happy when we decided to collaborate with Choi Baek-ho and Yang Hee-eun, whom I respect a lot, in this album. In this way, I can work with people I respect under the concept of generational harmony? Oh yeah! Our company is the best! (Laughs) It sounds grand, but generational integration is great. I don't know if I will be able to achieve that.

It must have been such a meaningful project for you to be able to work with Choi Baek-ho and Yang Hee-eun, whom you respect.

IU: I learned a lot from them. When I looked up to the sky as someone so much their junior, I would only be able to see under their chin. I haven't even seen their eyes, nose and mouth yet. But even seeing under their chin was amazing.

Specifically, what was amazing about it?

IU: Choi Baek-ho was very passionate. During the recording, he went, ‘I’m sorry. I'll do it again.’ From my point of view, how could it be even more perfect than what I was hearing? I was so touched every time that it made my jaw drop. ‘IU-ssi, I really like your songs.‘ (t/n: in formal tone) He treated me with respect and I was so humbled that I felt like I was flying. If he spoke informally, I would have been happy thinking that we got closer. But it was like he respected a little baby like me. Not only do I respect him as a senior singer, I also felt a sense of awe towards such a wonderful adult. Yang Hee-eun is also very charismatic. I only felt frustrated, thinking that I failed, during the whole 3 minutes while I listened to the completed song, ‘Daydream'. My voice sounds so pathetic after seonsaengnim (teacher)’s voice. I was so shocked that my heart was in tatters. I know that I can't sing better than that even if I record the song again. That's the level of my skill. The depth of the song itself when we sing is different.

It seems that you've learned a lot.

IU: After the recording session, I received a heartwarming text message from Yang Hee-eun-seonsaengnim, saying, ‘I wish I could have put more sincerity in my voice.’ Actually, I don't know what sincerity is yet. I try hard to sing the song so that the composer, the lyricist and I, myself, will like it, but I don't think that's sincerity (t/n: authenticity). If I can sing like seonsaengnim, I want to try and be enlightened in that aspect.

Is that an answer that can only be found after you reach seonsaengnim’s age?

IU: No matter how long it takes, if you can find that depth, it's definitely a huge success. It’s conceited of me to try and compare my voice with seonsaengnim’s voice right now, but the difference is beyond the sky and the ground. It’s as enormous as the difference between the faraway ozone layer and the underground core of the Earth.

There are so many seniors who praised you. In particular, I remember Insooni saying, ‘Little baby, what's inside you?’ Compliments can even make whales dance, right?

IU: Of course, I think she was trying to encourage her junior. It’s scary if she really meant it. I'm afraid I’ll get caught and my real skill level will show, so I'm very scared of the moment that she’ll be disappointed when she finds out. I want to quickly improve my skills before I get caught.

Just like how she is curious about you, I wonder what words you would use to describe yourself?

IU: I think I have a high level of concentration within a short span of time. However, my concentration passes like a jet ski, so I can't stay awesome for more than a minute. I guess I was born as a human customised to cram things (t/n: within a short timeframe). There are also many foods that make me go out of my mind. I have a lot of loopholes. Also, I'm constantly hard on myself because I don't trust myself. I actually don't know what kind of kid I am. I change 120 times a day. I wonder what my real self is and whether someone has true colours. I'm different in front of my mom, brother and my friend. Depending on the situation, although I live through all those moments as who I really am, they're not all the same.

You wrote your own self composition, ‘Bad Day’, as a follow-up to ‘Good Day’. I watched the concert video and it was good.

IU: It was a song I wrote in my 3rd grade of middle school. I forgot about it for awhile and when I was wondering whether there was anything new I could perform at my concert, I pulled it out again. It was a very lonely time for me because I was a trainee back then. When someone treated me warmly with kindness, I felt like I've been twisted into inferiority and became colder on my own. It's like that when people are being foolish.

It's a stormy adolescence that everyone goes through right?

IU: I’m still like that once in awhile nowadays though. I don't like myself, so I don’t like other people either. I see everything in the world in a twisted way and lose my motivation. I ride that roller coaster once in a while.

It's okay as long as you can step on the ground and go up on your own (t/n: succeed with your own abilities).

IU: That’s right. Fortunately, I think that's why when I write songs, my emotions get expressed.

Thanks to your rollercoaster-like emotions, the lyrics must be quite dynamic.

IU: I started writing in a diary because of my loneliness when I was in middle school and I was a trainee. I still write everyday. If I don't have it with me, I have to at least type down a line on my phone to feel at ease. I feel like the day disappears when I fall asleep without writing a diary entry. It's very funny when I look at my old diaries. I could see my past, times when I was really pathetic and pitiful and moments that I thought were lovely. It's secretive and interesting.

In the lyrics of 'Everyone has Secrets’, the line ‘the truth isn’t important to people' left an impression on me. I wondered if it was something I felt in the commotion such as when a rumor news site caught you this time watching a movie with a friend, actor Lee Hyun-woo.

IU: It is something that everyone can relate to. ‘Everyone has secrets. How much do you really know about me?’ That’s what the song is about. When I sing the lyrics now, I think I would make them more powerful. "Did he write the song because of this?" or "Did he write the song for that reason?" I’ll have a lot more stories and better focus. I have no reason to oppose the effect that the lyricist wanted.

The title of ‘Love of B’, with lyrics that you wrote, was also interesting. Anyone can be ‘B’ (t/n: the one who tries harder) in a relationship, but it's a sad thing to hear from a 21-year-old woman.

IU: The one who gives more love will feel that he/she is in the position of ‘B’. In a relationship, it's best to be equal without ‘A’ and ‘B’. Everyone can't always be ‘B’ or always be ‘A’. One year later, the positions could be reversed. You can't be ‘A’ in every relationship either. But if you think about it, I don't think it's a bad thing for ‘B’ either. Of course, loving more can make you feel unfair and upset, but you’re experiencing the maximum feelings of love. There is a happiness that you are filled with by giving love. ‘A’ can't receive as much happiness from receiving the love that ‘B’ gives. When my fans heard the title, they expected it to be a very sad ballad. But the lyrics turned out to be childish and delightful. Someone wrote in a one-line review of the teaser, ‘I thought I was going to be hit and end up crying, but the slap flew away.‘ (t/n: The reviewer thought he/she was going to receive a great impact from the sad song, but it turned out not to be a sad song at all.) It’s a coarse expression, but it was a witty expression that explained the gap between the title and the lyrics.

It’s already your 5th year anniversary since your debut. How have you grown as IU or as a woman, Lee Ji-eun?

IU: I have a slightly higher self-esteem now. But compared to the others, I still seem to be lacking. (Interviewer: Why would you say so?) No matter how much people may belittle me, it can’t be worse than me belittling myself. That’s one thing I’m certain about. You could call it a complex, but on the other hand, because of that, I don’t become conceited, so that’s a good thing, right? It’s paradoxical, but I like the way I am. There are many fools who don’t realize they are fools. Whenever I meet such people, I feel really frustrated. Even if I call them a fool, they don’t realize that they are one. Anyhow, I’m a fool who knows I’m one, so it’s fine. Of course, it’s best to not do foolish things even though I know I’m a fool, but I think this is good enough.

In these 5 years, you’ve realized who you are. Isn’t that splendid?

IU: Also, there are many people who have come to love that side of me. In the last few days, I’ve heard from about 10 people that ‘I’m glad I’m a fool who knows you’re a fool.’ (Laughs)

That sounds like something people very close to you would tell you.

IU: Of course, I won’t show everyone that I’m a fool, but I’m very open in front of people I’m close to. 'I'm a fool, so please be understanding. My friend, you're a fool just like me.' (Laughs) Once we both admit that we're fools, it's a lot easier. Those who don’t know they are fools have a hard time, as they are always afraid of being caught messing up.

Does that bother you?

IU: I’m always feeling anxious. Even when I’m doing interviews like this. I might have a completely different opinion tomorrow. Recently, instead of ‘Yeah, that’s right’, I’ve been replying with stuff like ‘Yeah, I think so.’ I used to see that as being silly. ‘I think my name is Lee Ji-eun.’ I mean, what else could it be? But that’s actually being wise. The next day I might suddenly think, as if I had switched bodies, ‘Come to think of it, I’m not such a fool after all.’ If I go this and that, it’s like this or like that and end it like that, I’ll have to live with the responsibility of what I said. So from now on, I’m going to live with open endings. (Laughs)

Behind the Scenes

21-year-old IU did her cover photoshoot for 6 hours over a span of two days and a 1 hr 4 min 4 sec interview. The last question of the interview was, if the phrase ‘IU-ly’ appeared in the dictionary, what kind of definition would it have? "Someone might see me as a fool, or as a vixen. Each pair of eyes sees me in a different way. It’s just that currently from this viewpoint, I think I’m a fool who has a lot on her mind. That’s the way I see myself." The way IU smiles after she carefully considers and gives her response is really pretty. Just like she says, there are really many fools in the world. It’s unusual to find intelligent fools who admit that they are fools. This is an engine that will continue to be loved by many for a long time. A decent child, a cool person. Without a doubt, such a person will continue to shine brightly for a long time no matter what she does.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

Source: [1]

#IU #ceci #nov 2013 #magazine interview

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