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#i gotta go to bed after this but uh
keeps-ache · 2 years
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speech..... speech patterns.....................
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vitamin-zeeth · 9 months
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Just saw shitfaced Shakespeare for the first time oh my god I'm going another million times it was BRILLIANT
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the-lost-kids · 1 year
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bunnyb34r · 11 months
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Bleugh gotta go shower before I can lay down to nap but dont have the energy/motivation to get up and do that
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solpng · 2 years
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hey <3
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mostly-imagines · 18 days
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Guard Dog
jason todd x fem!reader
aka don’t fuck with jason’s girlfriend
4 in 1 blurbs
warnings: mildly creepy guys, standard protective bf methods
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Jason’s good at shutting people up very quickly. You’d almost call it a talent.
He shuts you up with a kiss when you get stuck in a rant, or with a hug to calm your worried rambles.
And when you’re in an incorrigibly teasing mood, he’ll throw you over his shoulder and carry you back to your bedroom to really shut you up.
With other people though, he has…different methods.
You sit atop your kitchen counter, trading lazy kisses in between giggles with your boyfriend. He stands in front of you, hands massaging your thighs as he leans in for another. You happily oblige.
You break off the exchange to lay a series of sweet kisses on that spot under his jaw.
His head tilts back, letting out a groan so low you nearly miss it. “Sweetheart…” he warns.
“Sorry…” you resign with a sheepish smile.
A knock at the door bursts you out of your shared reverie. You press a kiss to his knuckles and hop down to start setting the table.
Jason gets the door, greeting the pizza guy with a nod as you shuffle around the kitchen. The delivery guy hands him a receipt, asking for a signature.
Jason uses the door as a surface to sign, giving the delivery guy an apt view into your apartment, where he sees you getting out plates in the kitchen. More noticeably, he sees you in your boyfriend's shirt, which rides up just a little bit when you stand up on your toes to reach the top cabinet. The lift of the shirt exposes the bottom of your underwear, though it falls back into place again just as quickly.
Now, lucky for this guy, Jason’s facing the door and does not see him checking you out in your own home. Unlucky for this guy, he has wildly misread the vibe of your relationship. Or at least your boyfriend.
“Man, how do you get anything done around here?” He jests.
Jason looks up at him, and the pizza man’s eyes tear away from your legs to meet his hard gaze. It does not take him long to realize his mistake.
“Try again.” Jason behests, arms crossed in front of him.
The pizza boy’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head, stuttering. “I—uh, I said have a good night.”
“Mhm.” He grumbles.
The pizza guy hands Jason the box with shaky hands and scuttles back down the hallway.
Thankfully, you didn’t seem to notice the exchange, but even so, your boyfriend still glowers down the hallway after him.
“Jay?”
His attention snaps back to you, demeanor changing instantly. “Yeah, baby?”
You’re sitting in your usual spot at the table, his chair empty and waiting just around the corner from you.
“Come sit.” You say, with eyes that might as well be hearts.
He gives a reassuring nod and kicks the door shut behind him.
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You and Jason are sitting on the floor in his old room at the manor, your legs thrown over his. You lean up against his bed, asking him about posters on the walls and trinkets on the shelves.
His knee is propped up and your arm dangles across it, his hand in yours. He plays with your fingers and periodically leans forward to leave a kiss on them.
You’d just woken up less than an hour ago after spending the night post-gala, and it’s a peaceful, if not unusually quiet morning.
Dick shouts your name from another room, audibly booking it towards you. Yeah. That’s more like what Jason remembers.
He grumbles some annoyances, dropping his head against your intertwined hands.
Dick bursts into the room, clearly incredibly excited.
“What’s up, Dick?” You ask, calm as ever. Jason lets an unseen smile creep up, head still down.
Dick’s practically jumping up and down, “You gotta see the shit that Tim just found in the cave!” His face drops as he directs his gaze to Jason, “You’re not invited.”
“Thank God.”
Dick ignores him and grabs your wrist, yanking you up from the floor. This is one place where he differs from Jason—he’s not always quite so aware of his own strength.
His grip doesn’t hurt really, but it’s firm enough that you imagine there’ll be bruise marks there later.
“Hey.” Jason calls out, nodding his head to where Dick is holding your arm. “Ease up.”
Dick follows his gaze and immediately loosens his hold, apologizing to you before pulling you along once again (this time much more gentle).
You grin at Jason as he tugs you out the door, him returning it with an endeared smile as he watches you go.
Fuck he loves you.
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Jason had a decent break from his night job for once, and was happy to let you drag him out to a bar for a little date. You’d been linked at the hip for most of the night, his hands maintaining their ever present home on your waist and yours resting on his thighs as you tell him about your hectic day.
He’d usually prefer to stay in bed with you for as long as possible when he gets time off, but you’d looked so excited asking him to go out with you—he never stood a chance.
You look up into the mirror as you wash your hands, a strand of hair falling into your face as you do. You push it back behind your ear and smile to yourself, recalling the several times Jason had wordlessly done the same throughout the night as you rambled.
You make your way back to the bar, smile immediate on your face when you see your boyfriend. It gets replaced rather quickly though, when a man slides in front of you, cutting off your view of him.
“Hey there.”
You have to take a step back because of how close he decided to stand to you. He looks sober (enough) but wildly overconfident in whatevers about to happen.
"Let me buy you a drink, pretty thing."
Jason calls you pretty thing sometimes. It makes the blood rush to your cheeks and an inescapable smile creep up on your lips. When this guy says it, it makes you literally frown.
"Oh no, I'm okay, my—"
"You seem like a dirty martini kinda girl." He expertly ignores you, clearly trying and failing to make some kind of innuendo there.
Jason's sitting back against the bar, watching the interaction carefully. You still can’t see him, but he’s close and you can rest comfortable knowing he’s looking out for you.
With that reassurance, you don’t play this out quite as carefully as you would if you were alone.
"Look, I don't want a drink from you, thanks."
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say to him because his face contorts quickly to mock-disgust that you figure is really just embarrassment.
“Hey, don’t be a bitch just ‘cause—”
You try to sidestep around him, thoroughly done with this interaction, but he grabs your upper arm harshly, pulling you to an abrupt stop.
Jason stands up real quick, yanking the guy backwards by his collar before you can even process what's happening.
Now, you know that Jason is an objectively intimidating guy. There's not many people that will come face to face with that absolute unit of a man and still decide to keep on trying him. However, you tend to forget that when you're so used to your gentle giant that only ever speaks to you kindly and touches you softly.
But his intimidating status becomes very apparent when the guy spins around, looks up at Jason, and immediately takes four steps back. He actually almost bumps into you in the process, not doing anything to tame Jason’s acute distaste for this man.
"Listen to me—back the fuck off before you get hurt."
“She—”
“I don’t give a fuck. Leave.”
The guy hesitates.
“Now.” Jason adjusts his posture to stand at his staggering full height, clearly with no qualms about putting him back in his place.
That does it for him, the man stumbllng away with half-committed mumbles of “whatever” or “something something lame anyway.”
Jason watches him until he walks out the door, before turning back to you.
He delicately takes your upper arm in his hand, pulling your sleeve up to search for bruising. But as harshly as he had grabbed you, it didn’t have the time to cause a bruise before Jason intervened.
“What’d he say to you?” Jason asks, brow furrowed as he inspects your arm.
“Nothing very interesting.” He looks at you mildly.
You smile and comb his hair back from his forehead, “Don’t worry about him. I’m good.”
He lets your arm go, and exchanges it for holding the back of your head, planting a kiss on your forehead.
You take his other hand and guide him back to your seats.
“Besides,” You look over his shoulder and let out a little shocked gasp. “Guess who just walked in.”
He gives you a questioning look before his face slacks, eyes widening in realization.
“No…” And you smile so brightly it almost makes up for what's coming his way.
You redirect your smile over his shoulder and give a wave to the door. Jason swigs down the rest of his drink, hand finding your waist once again.
“Jaybird!”
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Jason’s still exhausted from patrol last night but he’d insisted on going with you to the bar to meet your friends. You’d tried to convince him that it was okay to stay in and rest tonight, you’d be fine. But it was a losing battle.
You suspect it has something to do with him not liking when you go out in Gotham at night, especially when you’re drinking.
So he hangs out in the background of the buzz, with you sat in front of him, in between his legs.
You’re talking it up with Roy, who’s been making jokes about how Jason’s “moody ass” tricked you, “the ray of sunshine” into this relationship somehow.
You laugh, taking a sip of your drink. “Right, ‘cause you and Kori were in love at first sight.”
"Oh, fuck off." Roy jeers.
He doesn't say it with the cadence of a joke, but it is.
You know he's joking, he knows he's joking.
Jason, who very well may have been tuned out of the conversation up to that point, does not seem to know he's joking—or he doesn't care.
You don't need to look behind you to know that your boyfriend is in defensive mode, though the look of regret mixed with amusement on Roy's face gives a solid hint.
You hold your hand out to block Jason his path as he moves forward. He lets you stop him, though you're certain he could get past you without so much as blinking, no problem.
"Right. My bad, forgot your guard dog was here. Don't fuck off." Roy backtracks, hands up in front of him.
Jason just rolls his eyes, slouching back down. You reach behind you for his hand, giving it two squeezes. You know he’s tired, so much so that he almost punched his best friend for making a typical joke.
“Five more minutes, okay?” You say softly over your shoulder.
He nods at you blearily, and ducks his head down to rest on your back. You adjust your posture a little bit to make it more comfortable for him and continue on talking, his hand still in yours.
If he hadn’t fallen asleep so quickly, five minutes would’ve been five minutes, but instead it became something more like fifty.
He goes through patches where sleep isn’t always so welcoming, a phase he’s been in for the past couple of weeks. You’d been waking up to find the bed half empty, your boyfriend resigned to doing research on cases in an attempt to at least be productive while he’s awake.
You can’t protect him in the same ways that he protects you—you’re not a fighter or necessarily “intimidating.” But you can protect him like this, in these little ways. Letting him nap on you, making him close the case files and rest with you, holding his hand throughout the night so that when he inevitably has nightmares, he knows immediately that you’re still with him. That he’s safe.
So if he can get some much needed sleep while only costing you a stiff back tomorrow, you’ll happily take that deal as many times as he needs.
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no-one-hears-me · 9 months
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the way some men handle rejection is so cringe
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osaemu · 5 months
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GETO SUGURU: ❛❛ SNOWFLAKES IN MY STOMACH WHEN WE KISSIN' ❜❜
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.ೃ࿐ your boyfriend can't be home for christmas? fine then, you'll just spend it with his best friend! but be prepared, 'cause your boyfriend's gonna be mad when he gets home. NSFW
contents: fem!reader. modern!au. best friend!gojo. degradation, spanking, p –> v, you guys are loud and you get walked in on! gojo gets slutshamed.. a lot. and he's very annoying!! also there's lots of borderline crack in this fic, have fun with that! 3.6k words, not proofread.
author's note: it's been a hottt minute since i've written for geto and i lowk forgot how to write him.. anyways.
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“what do you mean, you’re not coming home for christmas?” you huff, hopping on your bed and lying on your stomach. 
the man on the other end of the phone sighs exasperatedly, and you can almost see suguru massage his temples when he replies, “i have work, baby. i’m sorry, but i really can’t miss this chance to—”
it’s the night before christmas eve, and you just learned that suguru won’t be home in time to spend christmas with you—obviously, you were upset, because you’d been looking forward to spending the holidays with him. but to your dismay, holiday season’s always the busiest time of the year for businessmen like suguru.
“fine,” you groan, rolling over onto your back and staring at the ceiling. a soft sigh escapes your lips as you do so, and you mutter something about life not being fair as suguru lists all the reasons he can’t be home by christmas morning.
“i have a big meeting with some potential investors tomorrow, and there’s no way i’ll be back by the morning after,” suguru explains tiredly. you can hear the sleepiness in his voice, but the selfish part of you wants to keep him on the phone longer—it’s only seven, and you could easily spend the next couple hours convincing him to come home sooner.
“but suguru—” you try, even though you know nothing’ll convince him at this point. 
“i’m sorry, honey,” he interrupts. after a moment, suguru’s voice softens and he continues, “i just can’t make it home by christmas. we can spend the day after together, though—i think i’ll be free for the rest of the week.”
you roll off the bed, stuffing one hand in the pocket of your hoodie—suguru’s hoodie—as you make your way to the kitchen to grab a mug of hot chocolate. the other hand still holds your phone to your ear, and you swallow back the rest of the protests you have to suguru’s absence.
“anyways, i gotta go,” suguru murmurs, obviously suppressing a yawn. “love you, baby. n’ i’m sorry, but i really can’t do anything about it.” 
he hangs up before you can reply.
almost instantly, you dial satoru’s number—he’s probably the only other person you and suguru both trust enough to confide in about your problems, and like always, satoru picks up right away.
“hey, satoru?”
“heyyy, i already heard about it from suguru,” satoru replies, and there’s some suspicious squelching sounds in the background. are those grunts, too?
“uh, what are you doing?” you ask tentatively, hopping on the counter and sitting with your back pressed against the wall. the oddly wet sounds continue for a couple more seconds, and then they stop. “satoru?”
“shit, sorry, i was in the middle of something,” he replies with a breathless laugh. “yeah, i’m done now. wanna see?” your phone lights up with an invitation to facetime, and you hit the ‘x’ immediately.
“no, i don’t want to see whatever the fuck you’re doing,” you grumble, ignoring his laughter. “you’re disgusting, i’ll call you ba—”
“no, i’m free, i’m free!” satoru interrupts, and you can practically hear the smile in his voice as he continues, “suguru won’t be back for christmas, right?” 
you pause and sigh, closing your eyes for a second. “yeah, he won’t be.”
“and you want a way to get him to come back sooner, right?”
“yep. you have anything in mind?” you ask, half-hoping that satoru’ll be able to come up with some genius plan to get your boyfriend to fly back here to make it in time for christmas. but if you’re being honest, you know that there are very few things that could convince suguru to drop his supposedly important meeting and come straight home.
and somehow, satoru devises a plan that makes you certain he will.
————
the next morning, you receive a text from suguru asking you to facetime—under normal circumstances, you’d just ask him to call instead since you’re at a cafe, but not today. today, you want him to see you and your mischievous little plan, so you eagerly accept.
“hey, sweetheart,” suguru says the second the call connects. his dark hair is pulled back into its usual half-down half-up style, and he props up his phone on something to use his reflection to adjust his tie. “how are y— wait, is that satoru’s jacket?”
you smile innocently and turn the phone to show satoru, who’s sitting just across from you at the table by the window. after satoru’s taken his time to wave and blow a kiss to suguru (who rolls his eyes in response), you turn the phone back and say, “oh, i just got a little cold. it’s pretty chilly down here!”
suguru frowns, brown eyes narrowing at your cheeky expression. “very funny. why didn’t you just bring your own jacket? or one of mine?”
oh, this is the question you’ve been waiting for. you shrug off satoru’s rather comfortable jacket and show suguru the tight, long-sleeved shirt you’re wearing underneath it. the fabric hugs your skin in a way that shows off all your curves, and even better, it’s a light shade of blue that’s somewhere in between the color of satoru’s eyes and hair. 
“i did! but then it just got so cold and satoru was nice enough to offer me his jacket,” you say nonchalantly, pretending not to notice the way suguru’s jaw tightens. you flutter your eyelashes innocently and smile at suguru, thoroughly enjoying the way his eyes focus on your outfit.
“you jealous?” satoru chimes in, snatching the phone out of your hand and posing in front of it, admiring himself in the camera.
“no,” suguru mutters, but it wouldn’t take a genius to tell that he’s just lying through his teeth. satoru grins in response, making a peace sign with his hand and winking.
“good, ‘cause i’m gonna be hangin’ out with her all day long!” satoru cooes, blowing suguru another kiss before you swipe your phone back out of his hand.
“is he joking?” suguru grumbles, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed. you shrug in response, not buying his cool and collected persona. you know suguru better than most, and the subtle way his shoulders tensed the second he saw you in satoru’s jacket gave it all away.
“nope,” you reply, soft lips tugging themselves into a little smile. “we might spend christmas together too, ‘cause you won’t be here. but i guess i don’t really mind anymore—satoru’s good company!”
satoru covers his mouth to hide his laughter at your comment, giving you a thumbs-up when suguru doesn’t reply. your boyfriend says something about already being late and having to go, and this time, you’re the one who hangs up.
“oh, we definitely got him,” you grin, smugly lifting your mug of hot cocoa and clinking it with satoru’s in a celebratory expression. satoru hums in agreement before he takes a sip of his cocoa, face growing pink at the sudden warmth.
“so, how long d’you think it’ll be until suguru texts you that he’s on his way?” satoru asks, leaning back in his chair and blowing on his cup to cool off the smoking-hot liquid.
“hopefully soon.”
“i’m betting on… three hours.”
three hours later, you don’t get a single text from suguru. four hours later, nothing. on the fifth hour, you finally receive a message from him, but it’s just a “how are you?”
“was that not enough?” you whine, half-looking at your phone as you walk through the mall with satoru. “how else can i convince sugu to come back by tomorrow?”
satoru shrugs, pulling the red lollipop he got from a toy shop’s cashier out of his mouth. “i mean, we tried jealousy, so how ‘bout we go the other route?”
you tilt your head curiously, waiting for satoru to elaborate. 
“y’know, why don’t ya tempt him in… other ways?” satoru wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and your face grows warm despite the chilly air around you.
“satoru…” you pause, face unreadable as you stop walking and turn to him. satoru holds his breath in anticipation, waiting for your verdict.
“that’s a really good idea.”
————
and that’s how you ended up in a clothing store, sifting through hundreds of dresses in search of one that’d be alluring enough to draw suguru back home.
“what color does he like on you?” satoru asks, seemingly oblivious to the strange looks he’s receiving from the other people in the store as he examines handfuls of dresses with interest. “red? black? white?”
you shrug, running your fingers over a form-fitting dress the color of suguru’s eyes. “i dunno, do you think he’d like this?”
satoru turns, takes one look at the dress, and instantly grabs it. “c’mon, let’s get you into a dressing room.”
the second you and satoru get there, the dressing room attendant gives you both a weird look. her eyes settle on satoru, and she asks, “weren’t you just here a week ago with another girl?”
satoru’s face goes redder than you’ve ever seen it. “uh, yeah, i was. oh, this one’s my best friend’s girlfriend, not mine—”
you shove him aside and hand the dress to the attendant, smiling bashfully. “just trying on this one, thanks.”
the attendant eyes satoru suspiciously and then nods. “okay, but he doesn’t get to go inside. last time, we got a noise complaint from the other customers.”
if you thought satoru’s face was red before, now it’s a shade redder than you knew was possible. in fact, you’re almost considering sending him to the hospital to get checked on as you close the dressing room door behind you and try the dress on.
it’s a little tight, but that’s expected given the skin-hugging fabric. after a couple minutes, you turn and admire yourself in the mirror—the dress, thankfully, fits perfectly. the fabric accentuates your features in the best way possible, and it’s all you can do to stop yourself from staring in the mirror any longer.
“how do i look?” you ask, stepping out of the dressing room and doing a twirl for satoru. his jaw drops, and he nods instantly. 
“yeah, this is the one,” satoru affirms, taking out his phone. “want me to be the one to send the pics to suguru? that way we can still make him jealous!”
you give him a thumbs-up and blow a kiss at the camera, trusting satoru to take a flattering picture before you head back into the room to change out. on your way out of the store, you buy the dress at the counter—knowing suguru, he wouldn’t reply to satoru’s text, but you just knew he was dying to see you in that in person.
————
later that night, well after satoru’s gone back to his house and you’re relaxing in your own, suguru texts you again.
sugu: can we call?
you grin and roll over onto your back, nestling yourself deeper into your pillows before you dial his number. it only rings once before he picks up, and he instantly asks if satoru’s still with you.
“nah, he went home,” you say offhandedly, toying with the corner of your sheets. “did you like my dress?” you ask coyly, enjoying the way suguru pauses for a long second before replying.
“yeah, it looked good on you.”
“that’s it?”
“it really brought out your eyes.”
you bite your tongue to suppress a groan, instead opting to bury your face in a pillow instead. you had just spent the past twenty-four hours running around in circles, doing everything possible to get suguru to come back, and that’s all you get? really?
“anyways,” suguru continues, and you hear a soft rustling sound in the background—if you had to guess, he’s probably in bed right now. “how was your day, baby?”
“good,” you respond briskly, a soft scowl appearing on your face. suguru, being as observant as he is, picks up on the subtle change in your tone, but he doesn’t say anything. “satoru and i had a really good day. how was yours?”
suguru pauses before answering. “i missed you.”
“then come home, sugu,” you plead, even though you know that there’s no way he’ll be back in time. but it’s worth a try, right?
“you know i can’t,” suguru murmurs, exhaling softly. “no way can i get a flight back this late and make it back by tomorrow morning. i—”
“then get a sleigh!” you huff indignantly, unable to resist smiling when you hear suguru laugh. “please, sugu? christmas won’t be christmas without you.”
“just spend it with satoru,” suguru mutters under his breath, and that’s when you realize that your efforts haven’t entirely been in vain. he’s obviously sour that you spent the whole day with his best friend instead of him, and a small spark of hope starts to fester in your heart. 
“maybe i will,” you reply coyly, and you can hear your own smile in your voice—and you’re sure that suguru can hear it too. “anyways, i’m a little tired. good night, baby.”
“night.”
————
the next day, you host a party in your otherwise empty house—after all, it’s christmas, and it’d be rather depressing for you to spend it alone. so you invite satoru, satoru’s friends, and their friends, and so on. word gets around fast, and people show up in droves.
which is why you don’t notice when suguru himself slips in through the back door.
you’re giggling with satoru and his stoic friend kento when they both stop laughing, and you look up at them, confused. “what is it?” you ask, sipping the sweet liquid in your glass with a smile.
“suguru?” satoru asks, lips tugging themselves into a wide smile. “guess you didn’t wanna spend christmas alone, yeah?”
you turn around, half-expecting satoru to be joking. but to your surprise, your dark-haired boyfriend stands in front of you, smiling dryly. you stare at him for a solid two seconds, certain that you’re hallucinating. “sugu? but i thought—”
“thought you could mess around with my best friend?” suguru muses, arching one of his eyebrows. his suit’s a little wrinkled, and his hair’s more disheveled than normal, but somehow, he seems more alert than ever. suguru’s amber eyes go from yours to satoru’s wide blue ones, and satoru shrinks away from him with a nervous smile.
“i’m gonna go,” kento says offhandedly, a glint of amusement in his eyes. he turns and disappears into the crowd, leaving you, satoru, and suguru alone in the living room. 
“hey, bro, it was her idea!” satoru says instantly, raising his hands as if he’s a burglar in front of the police. you turn to him in disbelief, scoffing indignantly at his pitiful attempt to get out of trouble.
“no, it was your idea!” you insist, jabbing your finger at satoru. he gasps dramatically and pretends to faint, to which you roll your eyes good-naturedly. you turn back to suguru, rounding your eyes in an attempt to gain his favor. “i swear, sugu, this was all satoru’s idea!”
“you liar,” satoru grumbles, crossing his arms and huffing childishly. you turn and glare at him, and coupled with suguru’s unimpressed look, it’s enough to scare satoru off. 
and now it’s just you and suguru, alone in your mint-scented living room. christmas pop plays in the background from another room, and maybe it’s just the dim lighting but you swear you can see suguru’s face go a shade redder than before.
“hey,” you mumble, averting your eyes.
“hey,” suguru replies. he smiles, and just like that, all his features soften. “don’t you want to know how i got here so fast?” he drawls, reaching out and brushing something off your shoulder. his fingers trail down from your shoulder to your collarbone, which is all the more prominent thanks to the dress you’re wearing. incidentally, it’s the same dress you had sent suguru a picture of yesterday—maybe that’s why he can’t take his eyes off you.
“yeah, how did you get here so fast?” you ask curiously, suppressing a shiver as his fingers trace your figure down to your waist. suguru’s eyes go from your dress to your face, and he grins.
“well, i had to leave right before my meeting started and bribe some passengers with a shit-ton of money for their seats,” suguru starts, taking you by the hand and leading you to your shared room. “and believe me, it was a lot of money. and most people still said no, ‘cause they want to be with their families for the holidays.”
he makes a face as he pushes open the door, and stops in his tracks. your face grows warm as you realize that you had set up your room for him too—it’s illuminated with soft candlelight, the linen sheets are changed, and you—oh, you look perfect in suguru’s eyes. it takes a great deal of his willpower to stop himself from fucking you right there and then.
“oh, yeah, it was a lot of money,” suguru continues, smiling down at you coyly. “between the deal i just fucked up and the ridiculous amount of bribes i had to make, i think you owe me.”
suguru makes his way over to your bed and sits, spreading his legs and showing off his growing erection. you grin, following him and sitting in his lap. “did you miss me, sugu?”
“damn right i did.”
and barely a minute or two later, he’s got you face-down ass-up in the sheets, a calloused hand clamped over your mouth to muffle your increasing moans. “shh, wouldn’t want our guests to hear ya,” suguru whispers, breath hot against the side of your face.
you squirm underneath him, mind hazy from the feeling of his dick buried in you for the first time in.. how long? does it matter? “s-sugu, please fuck me,” you mumble, pretending not to notice the way he hasn’t bothered doing anything to you besides use you as his personal cockwarmer.
in the short time he’s been inside you, suguru’s barely moved—and fuck, he enjoys watching you squirm around and beg him to do more than just.. nothing.
“sugu, plea—”
he cuts you off with a slap to your ass, relishing the lewd whine that slips out of your lips in reply. “fuck, you thought y’could get me back here by fuckin’ with my best friend?” suguru cooes, shifting his hips. 
“we didn’t—”
“yeah, no shit, baby,” suguru interrupts dryly. “otherwise this’d be a lot worse for you—and for him.”
suguru’s dark eyes flit over to where the dress you bought lies, discarded somewhere in the corner of your room. he grins and uses his hand to turn your head, gesturing at the fabric. “and i bet he was the one who gave you the idea to do whatever the fuck that was,” suguru drawls, clicking his tongue. “tell me, whose idea was it to have him send me that pic? yours, or his?”
when you don’t reply, suguru sighs dramatically and grabs your hair, pulling your head up enough for him to lean down and whisper in your ear, “this’ll be a lot easier for you if you just answer—the—question,” suguru breathes, punctuating each word with another slap to your ass.
“it wasn’t m-mine!” you cry, looking up at suguru with shiny, rounded doe eyes. “i just wanted to—”
suguru cuts you off by pulling out of your drenched cunt just enough to allow him enough space to go back in, and his thrust is harsh and hits all the right places inside of you. your walls clench around him, and shit, suguru realizes that he missed fucking you like this more than anything else in the world.
“fuck, you’re so damn tight,” he hisses, shifting his hips again to allow himself more space to move. “did ya not touch yourself at all while i was gone?”
“n-no,” you stutter, swallowing another pornographic sound from escaping your lips. “i waited for you, sugu,” you gasp, feeling him hit spots you haven’t felt throb in a painfully long time. and fuck, you’re so out of practice that affer just a few thrusts, you’re mewling all over his cock and whining about how you’re close to cumming.
your vision gets speckled with spots of white as thoughts of suguru take up every corner of your mind, even as he teases you for getting so close so fast. but it’s not your fault you’re about to cum faster than you’ve ever done—you’ve tried fucking yourself with your fingers on times when suguru was out for work, but he’s spoiled you with his dick more than you can imagine.
and that’s why you cum all over his cock in what has to be a record-breaking time, tongue lolling out of your mouth as you mumble indecipherable words.
“aw, look at you,” suguru murmurs, stroking your hair as you tremble underneath him. even though it’s unbearably cold outside, it feels scorching hot in here—but maybe that’s because of both of your heaving chests in the aftermath of your orgasm.
“‘m sorry, sugu,” you mumble hazily, and suguru chuckles in response.
“it’s alright, baby,” he responds lightly. “y’know i like fucking your bratty cunt dumb every once in a while, heh.”
you two lie there, basking in each other’s presence for a little while longer before the bedroom door creaks open. and to your horror, satoru stands there, seemingly bored by the whole scene.
“can you two keep it down?” satoru groans, dragging a hand down his face. “we’re trying to have a karaoke competition, but you guys keep going agh—”
suguru hurls a pillow at satoru, cutting off his mocking moan. “you’re next, asshole,” suguru grumbles, getting off of you and covering you with the sheets.
“you’re gonna fuck me next? wow, what happened to hi, hel— oww, okay, i’m going, i’m going!”
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orcelito · 1 year
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me sitting on posting ladue chapter 2 bc im going thru edits for chapter 1
honestly it's kinda amazing how much my writing skills have improved in 2 years
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rafeysdoll · 17 days
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can u pls write bsf!rafe x reader who comforts her after her bf broke up w herrr💞
ohhh i love this. he most definitely would be giggling inside his head.. thank u for requesting i hope u enjoy hun
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“j-jus don’t understand why he’d just break up with me rafey.” you cry on his shoulder, tears streaming down your pitiful face. “i-i thought everything was going fine with us!” you whine, stepping back to look up at rafe through wet, wispy lashes. “i thought he liked me!”
he’d just lick his lip, looking off into the space— pretending to think real hard. “god, i.. i don’t know baby. really don’t know. he was just stupid, nothing to do with you.” he comforts, lying straight through his teeth.
of course he knew why— he had gone and visited at his house, threatening your little boyfriend that if he didn’t break up with you soon, he’d kill him.
“i-i dunno what to do, rafey.” you continue, going back to burying your flushed face in his chest, rafe accepting you with open arms, rubbing his hands only on the sides of your shoulders. you whine, needing more comfort than that. “gimme a hug please, need it.” you request, voice cracking.
“course doll, anything for you.” he whispers, now wrapping his arms around you completely, closing his eyes and imagining this was a different situation. one where you were already his.
“y’know.. i’d never hurt you like that baby.. rafey’s always here for you.. isn’t he? i never ever leave you hanging, always taking care of you, right?” he says, planting the little seeds in your mind.
you sniffle, nodding— a soft smile tugging on your lips.
you loved rafe dearly, and you loved when he took care of you. loved how you could always count on him. “mhm, that’s why you’re my best friend.” you remind him, as if it isn’t constantly taunting him every second of his day.
he clenches his fist, irritation running through his body. he almost wants to lash out, frustrated at how long the process of you becoming his is taking, even with that fuckass gone. he secretly hoped somehow that straight after your breakup, you’d realize rafe was the one for you. but he takes a deep breath, nostrils flared before nodding.
ever the proactive man, he quickly thought of a way to make the best of his situation. “b-best friend, uh.. yeah.” he chuckles.
“you’re uh.. you’re right, doll. i am your best friend, and as my best friend duties..” he pauses, taking a step back to examine your face. “gotta make you feel better, don’t i?”
“and i know just the perfect way to help you through this baby, perfect way to get him off that little brain of yours.” he persuades, hand following up your neck then up your face.. testing his boundaries as he starts stroking your face.
“r-really?” you question, glossy eyes looking at him full of hope. “yea, but you gotta tell me you trust me first, can’t do anything if you don’t trust me.”
your brows furrow, light whine passing your lips. “of course i trust you!” you reply, almost offended. “good.. good. jus’ making sure. here, just take my hand, okay?”
and when he leads you upstairs, taking you to his bed, slowly pulling off your clothes— he makes sure to plant even more seeds into your brain.
reassuring you that he was just trying to help, that he would never do something that wasn’t in your best interest, that it would all be okay if you just let him take care of everything.
you give into all his sweet words, because you truly believe that he was the only one that had your back.
he drills into your head that he knows how you needed to be treated and that he’d gladly give it you, just needing your word.
he breaks that virgin cunt of yours with the most addictive mixture of roughness and care you could ever dream of. long and deep strokes having you creaming on his shaft in minutes, suckling on his fingers as he coos that he’s got you.
and when you wake up in the morning, rafe’s arms wrapped around you.. you couldn’t be more happier— he’d never hurt you like your ex boyfriend.
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moonbeamwritings · 1 year
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“Rin,” you whine, perching your chin on his stomach, eyeing him despite the phone that blocks your view. He’s aimlessly scrolling, just like he always does before bed, and you’re keen on stopping him. Your stomach grumbles and you call his name again. “Rintarouu.”
Without looking, he plops a hand onto your head and tells you, “Sorry, it’s after business hours.”
“Rin,” you’re not above groveling as your voice dips into a whine again, “can we go get food?”
“It’s almost midnight.”
“So? That McDonald’s down the street is open. I already checked.”
Rintarou’s hand moves to start massaging your scalp, though he still refuses to look at you.
“And, when have you ever turned down late-night fries?”
His phone tilts to the right and his pretty face comes into view, faux annoyance crossing his features. “But I’m sleepy, and it’s cold out.”
Making a show of batting your lashes at him, you jut out your bottom lip. “Please, babe. It’ll be my treat. You don’t even have to order if you don’t want to.” You shuffle up his chest to invade more of his space. “I’ll do anything.”
“Anything, huh?” He quirks a brow, putting his phone aside to pull you towards his chest. “I like the sound of that.”
“Rin,” you redirect, “the food. That’s priority number one.”
His lithe fingers curl around the back of your neck, guiding you forward until your lips meet. He pulls away after a few, sweet seconds, but not before nipping at your bottom lip. “Alright, fine. We’ll go.”
He pinches the plush of your warming cheek and grins. “But only because you beg so pretty.”
Rolling your eyes and pushing against his chest, you move to stand, pulling on his hand to force him to make good on his promise.
When you reach the front door, clad in his EJP hoodie that’s a size or two too big, Rintarou tugs the hood up onto your head and pulls on the strings, making it scrunch around your face. He ties them before bundling you up in his coat next.
Affection creeps into the corners of Rintarou’s gray eyes as he inspects your form. “C’mon stinky, let’s go. My baby’s gotta eat.”
Five minutes later, you’re standing in the lobby of McDonald’s, cheeks rosy from the cold and Rintarou’s fingers entangled with yours as he earnestly inspects the menu. When you’re up, he tugs you along towards the counter, and speaks before you even have the chance to open your mouth, ordering your usual and then his, making a point to slip his card into the machine.
“Hey,” you hiss once the order is placed, squeezing his hand in yours. “I said I’d pay.”
He stoops a bit to press a kiss to the crown of your head, right atop your hood. “Don’t you worry yer pretty lil’ head about it, okay? I wanted to.”
“But-”
A click of his tongue stops you in your tracks as he slings his arm around your shoulders. “Nuh uh. No buts.”
You sigh at his insistence, but nevertheless you tell him, “Thank you, Rin.”
Pleased, he hums, “Mhm.”
The food comes out moments later, and with his arm still resting on your shoulders, he guides you home. And as a winter chill nips at the tip of your nose, you snuggle closer to Rintarou’s side, excited to share a late-night snack with him.
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evie-sturns · 3 months
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ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ
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summary: you're spending the weekend at the sturniolos house, you've never had feeling for matt, but this weekend has been different, he just looks too good, the sexual frustration builds up to the point where you just have to get yourself off, but matt walks in on you..
Warnings: swearing, smut, f!masturbation, caught gettin freaky w yourself, fingering, p in v.
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i'm spending the weekend with my best friends, the sturniolos. i've never had any feelings for them, but this past week matt has been looking.. different. he's recently got more tattoos, his facial hair has grown out slightly, giving him a subtle moustache. matt's been wearing different earrings, longer ones, i've never thought about him this way, it weirds me out, but i can't help myself. i've had no privacy for the past 3 days though, constantly with a triplet. i've wanted to touch myself, but i physically cant.
i open the trash can, throwing in me, matt, nick and chris's empty solo cups, which were filled with rootbeer.
"im so fucking tired what time is it." chris yawns, standing up from the dining table.
"1:30am." nick mumbles, rubbing his eyes.
"okay guys, i'm going to bed yeah? gotta be up early for the beach tomorrow" chris says, doing stupid claps with a wide grin on his face.
i scoff, waving him goodbye as he disappears upstairs. nick runs over to me, giving me a quick hug "i'm gonna sleep too, love ya y/n, see you in the morning."
me and matt stand in the kitchen, i lean on the countertop slightly, scrolling on our phones. his face is lit by his screen, highlighting his features. i don't even notice the fact i'm squeezing my thighs together until he looks up at me.
"you okay, mrs. staring problem" he jokes, giving me a smile. my cheeks flush, i uncross my thighs and wipe my face quickly. "sorry." i say, quickly.
"i'm gonna go watch a movie okay? my rooms always open." i say, giving matt a hug.
i get butterflies, why the fuck did i get butterflies?
i feel a heat grow between my legs, i run upstairs, going into the spare room which im staying in for the next few days. i lock the door behind me,
atleast i think i do.
i flop down on the bed, my hand reaches under my waistband, tracing soft circles over my fabric of my panties. "fuck." i whisper before shimmying my shorts and panties down in one motion to my ankles.
im left with my bottom half revealed on the bed, i use one finger to trace my clit in circles. i squirm on the bed, restraining my moans. after a few minutes i plunge two fingers into my hole, pumping in and out.
my mind subconsciously flicks to matt, his tattoos, which crawl up his arms, his hair, his hands, i wonder what they would look like around my neck-
the door opens, my eyes bulge open, me and matt make direct eye contact, i instantly yank up my shorts,
"get out please!" i say, my voice shaking, as i sit up quickly
"oh fuck im so sorry!" he yells slamming the door shut, his face pale.
i fall back on the bed, covering my face with a long groan.
embarrasment.
is the only thing i feel, my heart pounds as i bring my knees to my chest.
after 10 minutes, i hear a quiet knock on the door, i sit up off the bed, walking towards the door and opening it.
im met with matts guilty face, his cheeks are flushed, a few strands of hair stuck to his forehead.
he opens his mouth, nothing comes out execpt for a small noise. he clears his throat "sorry."
"i uh, sorry um, i really shouldve knocked." he says fidgeting with his hand. i stay silent, my cheeks cherry red. "i swear i didn't see much." he assures, i look up at him, raising an eyebrow in a 'really?' way. he stares at me "maybe thats a lie, but i swear ill blank it out of my mind!" he says, his voice frantic.
"its fine matt, i shouldve locked the door okay? lets go watch a movie in your room." i say, giving matt a warm smile. he nods, walking towards his room.
i follow close behind him as he jumps into bed, laying an arms out, i jump in beside him, cuddling close into his side.
my heart beats again, when im nervous words just come out.
"i was thinking about you when i was touching myself." i blurt out, slamming a hand over my mouth. the room goes silent. im frozen in shock.
"what?" he says in confusion.
"not true." i mumble out. my hand glued to my mouth.
matt tenses up under me. "y/n.. you have to tell me right now what your were thinking about.." he says, calmer than expected/
i stay silent.
"y/n." hes cut off by my voice.
"you it was you, i don't know!" i say, my voice trembling from embarrassment.
"what about me?" matt teases, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly
"tattoos, hair, hands" my mouth is moving faster than my brain.
"is that so now?" he says, looking down at me.
i nod quickly, matt sits up on his knees before hovering over me. i look up at him, my eyes submissive.
he smashes his lips into mine, holding the back of my head. "matt" i whine into his mouth. "i know, i know." he says, pulling my shorts down. "can i?" he says, toying with the waistband of my panties.
"please." i beg, lifing my hips up to help him. he leans down and whispers into my hair.
"whats gonna happen is you're gonna ride me, and you arent going to make a single noise, nick and chris are right next door."
i nod, flipping us over, straddling his thighs with my bare lower half.
he pulls down his sweatpants, his large erection springing out. "you ready?" he says, tearing open a condom with his teeth and rolling it on him. "i really like you.." i whisper, hovering above his tip. "you need help sweatheart?" matt speaks, holding my ass.
i didn't, i just wanted to feel his hands on me.
"yes,- yeah please.."
he lowers me down onto him, halfway down. suddenly he drops me, my ass colliding with his thighs, i let out a gasp as he smiles, he lifts me back up to his tip, before dropping me again.
i let out a shaky moan, matt holds a hand over my mouth. "can't stay quiet can you baby?" he teases, lifting me up and down.
i squeeze my eyes shut, pushing myself up and down with my hands on his collar bones. i let out muffled whimpers, his hand clamped onto my lips.
"so good princess." he praises, lifting me up and down faster.
"you're clenching, gonna cum for me?"
i nod frantically,
"go on." he says, i instantly comply, orgasming on his length.
he groans before pulling out of me, his cum spilling into his condom. i instantly collapse on his chest. matt whispers praises in my ear.
i place a long kiss on his neck.
"pretty glad i didn't lock the door." i say in between breaths
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had a shitty day today so i wrote matt smut LMAO
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faeriegirlf · 1 month
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⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
you’d been having a rough day to say the least. you woke up late, starbucks had messed up your order and your red lingerie had bled through your white clothes. and now rafe was just being a dick.
“ i do so much for you alright, f-fuck im a proactive type of person okay? “ he stutters out, floppy bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead. he’d been going off his rocker recently, his dad dying, and sarah going off with those fucking pouges. “ i mean, fuck! i give you my credit card every goddamn day! “ he yells out, emphasizing it by a loud fist to the table
“ you’re jus’ so mean! “ you cry out, eyes turning glossy quickly, “ all you ever do is yell! “ the tears started pouring out before either of you guys could even register.
he sighs upon seeing the tears, “ alright c’mere kid yeah? “ he mumbles out, wrapping him big arms around your back, pulling you into one of those nice, comforting hugs you get from a close relative after not seeing them for a while. “ i-i didn’t mean to upset you okay? “ he whispers with a small kiss to your scalp, “ ‘m just trying to explain, yeah? you stress me out kid, “ he says, all signs of annoyance leaving him
“ o-okay, “ the words leave your mouth as a small whisper. his strong hand goes to your jaw, forcing you to look up at him
“ gonna be good f’me yeah? “ he whispers quietly, pushing you backwards onto his bed. you agree with a small nod
“ uh, good. ‘cus y’know i don’t just let, my girl just be a little brat yeah? gotta show her who her fuckin’ dad is “ he says, the mean tone returning for a moment with a condescending laugh. his hands slowly unbuckling his belt…
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emmyrosee · 1 month
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You have heard of angst, you have heard of fluff. Get ready for my very own brand: chaos
You're playfighting with Osamu and kick him so hard in the face you break his nose.
Bonus points if it's your first time staying over
LMAOOO I CANT DO THIS-
——
Osamu is an absolute fiend when it comes to play fighting.
He’s the twin of an athlete, of course his entire childhood was filled with wrestling and fighting, of fighting over the last cookie, or first player in a video game. Who the hell were you to think of challenging him to such an event?
“Get over here!” He growls playfully, chasing you down the hall. You scream and turn into the bedroom and skitter onto the bed, only for him to follow short after.
“Go away!” You giggle in anticipation.
“Nuh-uh,” he snips. “I’m not nearly done with you.” He makes a leap towards the bed, a large hand gripping your ankle and dragging you towards him, desperate to ignore your flailing limbs and-
You sent a kick straight to his face.
Immediately he recoils away, hands coming up to cradle his face as he whines in pain, hunched over. You instantly jump to his side, a palm running over his back to try and soothe him, all the while trying to get a look at the injury.
“Baby, let me see!” You demand.
“No!” He nasals out. “You’ll neber let bme play fight you adain!”
“That’s not my worry right now, my worry is me kicking your nose square off of your face!”
“It’s my worry!”
You roll your eyes and quickly grab him by the collar, dragging him to the bathroom where you tenderly remove his hands, wincing as he whines in pain.
“We’ve gotta get you to the hospital,” you insist.
“Kiss bme first?”
“Oh my god-“
And hey. It worked.
Because not an hour later were you and osamu in the emergency room, your hand filling out in patient forms while his cradle ice to his face, but a dopey smile splayed on his lips unbothered since you originally kissed him.
It be cute, if it wasn’t so bloody.
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Her babes! Was wondering if you could do a imagine for toms dad series maybe he’s up early doing a interview on the computer. Y/n still sleeping and their daughter wakes up coming into the office maybe climbing into his lap all sleepy still and Tom’s like “Sorry hold on give me one moment gotta take care of my girl!”
First Priority
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A/n: I pictured this so vividly in my head. Also, I’m so sorry this took me awhile anon!!
Dad!Tom Blyth x reader masterlist
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Divider by @s-hyia
Opening his eyes and readjusting to the light that seeped into the bedroom, he gently places a kiss on his 4 year old daughter's forehead who was sleeping in between the two of you. Elsie had woken from a nightmare just after midnight so you and Tom gladly let her sleep with the two of you.
He quietly gets out of bed, stretching his limbs before coming to your side where he placed a kiss on your forehead, muttering a good morning as you gently smile, still half asleep.
Reason for Tom being up so early on a Saturday morning was because he had an interview at home for the upcoming episodes of Billy the kid. He got ready as quietly as possible, trying not to disturb his girls before he walked downstairs to make a cup of coffee before the interview started.
Tom cringed at the loud noise the coffee machine was making as he glances to the stairs leading upstairs. Walking back upstairs with a cup of coffee in one hand to wake him up more, he slowly turns the door handle to your shared bedroom and peeked his head in.
A soft smile making it to his lips at the sight of you and Elsie cuddled up to one another, fast asleep. Tom then walked down further down the hallway to his office where he shut the door. He set up his computer and in a couple of minutes, started his interview that was planned to go for about 30 minutes to an hour.
Just a couple minutes after Tom started his interview, Elsie had stirred in her sleep. The absence of her dad beside her made her more alert as she sits up on the bed, her head turning every which way to see if Tom was in the room.
You were still fast asleep. Elsie let out a little whine, her stomach rumbling in hunger as she rubs her eyes and decides to get out of bed. She looks around the room, checking the closet and the bathroom and there was still no sign of Tom.
Going on her tippy toes, Elsie opens the door and cheers up when she hears her dad's voice coming from the door at the end of the hallway. She ventures out and opens the door to the office.
Elsie stood at the door, slightly confused as to what her dad was doing as he had headsets on and was talking. "Sorry Tom, I'm going to have to stop you there- uh your daughter is at the door-" At her words, Tom whips his head around and sees Elsie there, in her cute little pjs and her brunette hair all over the place.
"Sweetheart, what is it?" He takes his headphones off to hear his daughter, his mic still on. "I'm hungry, mumma is still sleeping," She frowns. Tom looks to his computer, "I'm so sorry Lisa, could you give me a moment, I just gotta take care of my girl!"
"No no of course! go for it Tom!" The lady chuckles as Tom gives her a grateful smile before he gets up, scooping up Elsie in his arms. The second he walks out the door, you walked out the door as you look at the two confused.
"I thought you had an interview to do?" You chuckle as you caress Elsie's cheek who was still in Tom's arms. "Yeah, I'm in the middle of it, Elsie came in saying she was hungry," He chuckles as your eyes widen as you look at him.
"I didn't want to wake you up mumma," Elsie says as you melt at her comment, " It's okay, baby," You cooed as Tom let's her down on the ground. "Go, go back to your interview I'll make breakfast for us all," You shoo him away but not before he quickly steals a kiss from you.
After the interview finished, Tom walked out the door and the scent of pancakes wafted in the air as he felt his stomach automatically rumble. Walking down the stairs, he could hear soft giggles making him smile.
"Smells good," Tom says as you and Elsie look over to him, Elsie quickly getting out of her seat and running to her dad who lifts her up. "How did the interview go, darling?" You smile as you flip a pancake, "Good, it went great," He comes up behind you, pressing a kiss on the side of your head.
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ddejavvu · 5 months
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Animagus r & Sirius cuddling in their animagus forms <3.
Love the series btw, ur amazing!!!
based on all of those sweet videos of cats disappearing when cuddled by their dog friends <33
--
James stomps into the room sounding more like an elephant than a deer, and Sirius is surprised that, when he huffs after scanning the room for a split second, he doesn't trumpet as well.
"Well, shit," James concludes, tossing his books haphazardly onto his bed and ignoring the way the hardback covers clack together, "I was lookin' for y'girlfriend, Pads. Gotta pass on a message from Marlene for her."
Remus glances up from a sock that he's patching up, brows furrowed, "She's here, Prongs. She's- she was here."
Both men frown confusedly at the big black dog who regards them with nothing short of complete and total lazy indifference. It takes another prod from Remus, a, "Pads. Where did Y/N go?" to get him to blink, exhaling an irritated puff from his wet nose.
He lifts his head from where it had been nearly resting on his haunch, revealing your much smaller feline form curled up inside of the space he'd created with his massive furry figure. Somehow he'd managed to completely envelop you, and you blink at the light that invades your eyes now that you're no longer engulfed by the black dog.
James lets out a bark of laughter not unlike you'd hear from Sirius at the sight, but tamps it down to a poorly-concealed snort when you flex your claws at him. He clears his throat, a grin still lingering on his face, "Uh, right. Marlene told me to tell you she's stealing your eyeliner for tonight's party, but that she'll give it back tomorrow morning. And- and that she's gonna wear your flats, too. The black ones. Anyways, uh- try not to crush her, Pads."
Sirius takes it as your dismissal, curling back in on himself and sealing you into his heated embrace once more. James and Remus are left to wonder how you can breathe with Sirius surely smothering you, but within mere seconds they can hear a purr rev to life from beneath Sirius's furry chin.
Perhaps, James muses, there's more to life than breathing. But as someone who lives with Sirius, who has to fight through a pile of the man's dirty laundry to get to the shower every day, he hopes you'll survive the stench.
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