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fruity-pontmercy · 3 months

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Les Mis adaptations and apolitical appropriation

I think it's no secret on this blog that I love the original Les Mis 1980 concept album in French, and that I also love comparing different versions of the stage musical. I've noticed that Les Mis seems to get progressively more vaguely apolitical as time goes on, not only in the way it's viewed in our culture, but in the actual text as well.

It's natural for specifics to be lost in adaptation. It's easier to get people to care about 'the people vs. the king' in a relatively short musical rather than actually facing the audience with the absolute mess that were 19th century french politics (monarchist orleanists vs monarchist legitimists vs imperialist vs bonapartist democrats vs every flavour of republican imaginable). Still, I feel that as time goes on, as more revivals and adaptations of the stage musical come out, the more watered down its politics become. Like, Les Mis at it's core is just meant to be a fancily written, drawn out political essay, right?

In a way I feel that the 1980 concept album almost tried to modernise it with its symbols of progress. Yes, through Enjolras' infamous disco segment (and other similar allusions to the ideals of social change), but perhaps most interestingly to me, through one short line that threw me off when I first heard it, because it seems so insignificant, but might actually be the most explicitly leftist line of all of Les Mis.

"Son coeur vibrait à gauche et il le proclama" (roughly "His heart beat to the left and he proclaimed it" i.e: he was a leftist) Feuilly says, while speaking of the now dead général Lamarque in Les Amis de L'ABC.

What's that? An actual mention of leftism??? in MY vaguely progressive yet apolitical musical??? More seriously, this mention of leftism, clashing with the rest of the musical due to it's seeming anachronism, is interesting not because it's actually more political than anything else in Les Mis, rather, because it's not scared to explicitly name what it's trying to do.

But we've come a long way from the Concept Album days, it's been 43 years, and Les Misérables is now one of the most famous and beloved musicals in the entire world. It's been revived and reimagined and adapted in a million ways, in different mediums, in different languages and countries, and it's clear that it's changed along with it's audience.

On top of pointing out a cool line in my favourite version of the musical, I wanted to write this post to reflect on the perception of the political message of this work. We as a Les Mis fandom on Tumblr are very political, I don't need to tell you that, however, I feel that because this very left leaning space has sprung out of a work we all love so much, we oftentimes forget to revisit it from a more objective point of view.

Les Misérables has a history of being misrepresented, this has been true since it's publication, since american confederate soldiers became entranced with their censored translation Lee's Miserables. However, with it's musical adaptation, this misinterpretation has been made not only more accessible but also easier. As much as I love musical theatre and I think it is at it's best an incredible art form able to communicate complex themes visulally by the masses for the masses, I think it'd be idealistic to ignore the fact that the people who can afford to go see musicals regularly are, usually, not the common folk. Broadway and the West End are industries which, like most, need money to keep them afloat, and are loved people of all political backgrounds (and unfortunately, often older conservatives) not just communists on tumblr. We've seen the way Les Miz UK's social media team constantly misses the mark regarding different social issues, and the way Cameron Makintosh has used the musical to propagate his transphobia, and most of us can agree that these actions are in complete antithesis with the message of Les Misérables as a novel.

But I must ask, how does Les Mis ,as a West End musical in it's current form, actually drive a leftist message, and how are we as a community helping if every time someone relating to the musical messes up if we just claim they "don't get it"?

I'm thinking in particular of incidents like last october, where Just Stop Oil crashed Les Mis at the West End. Whether you think it's good activism or not is not the question I think, this instance is interesting particularly because it shows that, outside of Les Misérables analysis circles and fandom spaces, it is not recognised as an inherently leftist, political or activist work, and instead of just saying they completely missed the point of the musical, I think it'd be interesting to take a step back and look at what the musical as it stands actually represents in our culture today.

I don't pretend to have all the answers, so I won't try to give one, but I do hope we can reflect on this a bit.

#this is my first time making a well thought out les Mis post in possibly like 2 years PLEASSEEE BE NICE #wrote this instead of listening to my Marxist Philosophy lecture so i hope it technically counts as productive procrastination #Btw in this i use Les Mis when reffering to the musical and Les Misérables when talking about the book (and Les Miz talking about the #west end musical so)#les mis #les miserables #les miz #les amis de l'abc #the brick #musical theatre #enjolras #litblr #meta analysis #media analysis

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prismatic-bell · 3 months

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The extent of my knowledge of Jewish anything is almost entirely from Tumblr blogs I follow (a mix of Jewish blogs and random ass reblogs). I've no open and out Jewish people at work or in my town, nor a synagogue or Jewish center close to me (according to Google maps and my own local knowledge). When people talk about Zionism, the average non Jewish person seems to be using it in a shithead racist way, as a stand in for the word Jew, or specifically Jews who live in Isreal or those that intend to move there at some point.

The few times I've seen it in a more academic environment, it feels like a politically ideology, but also sometimes a subset of a Jewish religious identity. I'm not expecting a definitive, always right definition; but when Jewish people talk about Zionism, is it more along the lines of a political identifier or what?

Oof.

You know, that’s a hard one. I’m going to start by directing you toward the core definition of Zionism here, just to be sure we’re on the same page.

And then I’m going to say I think it’s kind of…several things? It’s political because the existence of a state is political. It’s religious because Jerusalem is built around our spiritual center, the remains of the Temple, and that has been true for 3500 years. Our connection to the Temple Mount was ancient before the first stone of al-Aqsa was laid on it. Indeed, it’s even in the psalms, first written in the 500s BCE when we were in the middle of the Babylonian exile—“if I should forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand wither, and my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth.” To put that into some kind of perspective chronologically, the Bronze Age began circa 3300BCE, and brought with it some of the first writing systems. The first written mentions of “this is our beloved homeland where we worship our G-d”—which, keep in mind, are only the first WRITTEN mentions, and it’s pretty well accepted that Torah and parts of Tanakh were actually oral long before they were written down—those first written mentions are equidistant between the invention of writing and the invention of the iPhone.

Given what I ended that last paragraph with, I think it’s probably easy for you to see how this is also deeply personal for a lot of Jews. I converted, but I was converting back in after my family assimilated only about 100 years ago. That sounds like a hell of a long time if you’re American, but compare it to 4000 years of Jewish history, and it’s a drop in the bucket. People who lived lives I can only imagine have laid hands on the Western Wall, and they might have had my cheekbones. Go back far enough and someone may once have had a conversation asking their neighbor how the hell they could grow silphium in a part of the world it doesn’t even grow but not keep a basic olive tree alive, and that person’s conversation is echoed today in me saying “tomatoes are easy, it’s mint I keep killing.” My footsteps with their very distinctive crooked toes have already crossed a land I’ve never set foot in. There’s something in that fact that goes well beyond political or religious and into feelings I’m not sure there’s a name for.

I’m not sure it can be summed up as simply as “is it political or what.” Which isn’t to say it’s an unfair question—it’s a totally fair question, especially if this is a topic you’re new to. I just think it may be a question so big that there’s no way to give a satisfactory answer.

#you ask nina answers #Nina blogs Judaism

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maniculum · 5 months

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Bestiaryposting Results: Kraegrat

Allow me to start with a disclaimer: I woke up sick this morning, so if it seems like I'm doing a worse job than usual stringing words together, let's all agree to blame fatigue & cold medicine.

Now, on to our beast for the week. The entry people are working from can be found here:

This is kind of an interesting one: not only is there no physical description, but the entry consists entirely of describing a single behavior that has at best a tenuous connection to reality. Nevertheless, a number of people indicated that they recognized it, because this is one of those "bestiary fun facts" that tends to stick in folks' heads.

As usual, we're going to go through the depictions in roughly chronological order -- let me know if I missed yours. This week, for some reason, my original post doesn't appear under the #Kraegrat tag, so who even knows what's going on there and I'm fully willing to believe yours is hidden for some kind of absurd Tumblr reason. (Maybe it got flagged under the "don't go nuts don't show nuts" policy -- I kind of suspect that's what happened with the entry post.)

Images below the cut, because (1) aforementioned nuts, though i'm pretty sure this is within Tumblr guidelines, and (2) i really should be doing a cut for all of these but i keep forgetting.

@mobileleprechaun (link to post here) has gone all in on the pathos, making the Kraegrat small, fuzzy, and sad. They describe it as "beleaguered and persecuted" and "a poor guy" which honestly I think is pretty fair for anyone in a situation where you're constantly being hunted for your testicles. They also cite "tanuki inspo" for obvious testicle-related reasons, and yeah, I see it. Very good Sad Gentle Beast here.

@embervoices (link to post here) has done a few different species of Kraegrat, all of which have kind of a lemur look. (They also provided their own alt text, which I really appreciate, thank you.) The linked post has an explanation of design decisions, and also references that Anansi story about tiger balls. (I googled it just now, and all the results reference American Gods -- did Neil Gaiman make that one up?) Anyway, excellent whimsical lemur thing, love the depiction of it throwing the testicles.

@mayhaps-magical (link to post here) notes their "appropriate medieval disregard for standardized spelling" and explains that they reinterpreted it as "Kragen-rat". My German is almost nonexistent, so I had to do a quick check...

... okay, yeah, I see how that comes into play. I also like the idea of playing around a bit with the spelling and etymology, because gods know the medieval authors did the same with no regard for accuracy. (The vastly-encyclopedic, frequently-inaccurate work that has led Isidore of Seville to be put forth as a potential Patron Saint of the Internet is ostensibly a book of etymologies.) Anyway, I like this guy here. It kind of looks like one of those big dogs that are always kind of shy and nervous around new people, which I think fits with the description as "gentle". Also like that it apparently has both claws and I think thumbs for the throwing of testicles.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) acknowledges that they're pretty sure they know what this animal is supposed to be, but they're trying to put it out of their heads. I think they've done a very good job of that: this is a pretty naturalistic drawing of a ground-dwelling mammal that doesn't quite look like any real animals, including the one that this entry was based on. The post linked above contains a description of the design decisions behind this critter, which I of course recommend checking out.

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has, as usual, done a beautifully stylized rendition of this one. She cites the famous unicorn tapestries as inspiration, and I can absolutely see it. I think it's an interesting artistic choice to focus on the hunter rather than the beast in this drawing, but one that absolutely makes sense: the entry doesn't tell us anything about the Kraegrat except how it interacts with hunters. Enjoy your bounty of severed testicles, Sir Hunter... and, um, keep an eye on your dog if you want to make sure you still have all of them when you get home. I think it's contemplating something there. The linked post contains a brief description of design decisions, and also this line, which I enjoyed:

I'd also like to state for the record that when I started this challenge, I was not expecting to draw a field of severed testicles, but here we are. It was more fun than I expected.

@rautavaara (link to post here) has again taken an unusual direction with this one. They describe their interpretation as:

Medicinal plant-like lizard that loses its tail when scared off.

Considering this and the drawing, I think I can see the path of creative interpretation. The animal as presented in the bestiary entry is obviously ridiculous: a mammal that self-castrates to save its life is not an evolutionary success. So what could it be other than that? Well, lizards detach their tails to escape predators; what if there was a lizard with nodules on its tail that medieval people interpreted as testicles?

I can't swear that that is rautavaara's thought process, of course, but it makes sense to me as an interpretation of the material provided, and if that is what they're going for, I think it's quite clever. Also, as usual, the art style here is excellent.

@sweetlyfez (link to post here) explains that her design process consisted of blending together various animal features and then giving it sparkly magic balls, because that's all the entry really provides. Which, fair. Also I appreciate the taste in choosing what I think is "tapir + deer" as the animals to blend here. Those tusks kind of remind me of musk deer, which is actually pretty appropriate, as we'll see later. The facial expression plus the sparkly balls strike me as very funny, I have to say. Good beast.

@karthara (link to post here) was apparently also skeptical about the idea of a self-castrating animal, and if you check out the linked post, you'll see a brief explanation of how they resolved that as well as some other thoughts on design decisions. The gist is that the Kraegrat has decoy testicles, which I love as an interpretation. Fantastic. No further notes.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) has done another ink drawing that is, frankly, delightful. Love the Kraegrat escaping into the Nonspecific Medieval Trees. Love, love, love the hunter getting smacked in the face with a set of thrown testicles while his dog watches. The above linked post also provides an explanation of design decisions which I think is worth reading, go check that out.

@treesurface (link to post here) has drawn us a rat-kangaroo thing (not to be confused with a kangaroo rat) calmly displaying its lack of testicles. Looks fairly good-natured about the situation, really. They provide a brief discussion of their design decisions in the linked post, and also express a desire for more "weird scary beasts" in the future -- so I checked, and while I can't really define what is or isn't a weird scary beast, I think we should get at least one qualifying entry in January.

@pomrania (link to post here) has made the understandable decision that they aren't going to draw animal genitalia today. Fair enough. I also think this is a pretty good depiction of a Mammal that is clearly not any animal we're familiar with -- I'm impressed by how many of the drawings we're getting for this are Plausible Yet Unfamiliar Beasts. Anyway, pomrania provides early sketches and an explanation of design decisions in the linked post. They also express relief that this is not "Yet Another Bird", and I regret to inform you all that there is a small cluster of Bird entries coming our way.

Anyhow, let's take a look at the Aberdeen Bestiary depiction for this one.

I have to say I find this illustration very funny. That bizarre pose where it's wrapped around a tree is good, but what really makes it is the hunters. Look at those two. Spear Guy looks like his eyes are about to bug out of his head, while Axe Guy seems like he's going "hey, is that normal? should we be doing something about that?"

Anyway, as some of you guessed (and as I'm sure more of you picked up from that very accurate Aberdeen illustration above), this is a Beaver.

Yeah, the whole testicle thing is probably a misunderstanding of the castor sacs that beavers use to scent-mark their territory. Castoreum is still used today, mostly in the perfume industry I think, but apparently the medievals had some kind of medicinal use in mind. So the people who surmised that this isn't actually talking about testicles but rather some other anatomical feature that looks like testicles were correct. I have no idea where the idea came from that the beaver would rip them off voluntarily, though.

So! There's this week's bestiaryposting. I will now Retreat to My Chamber and Lay As One Dead (scroll Tumblr in bed until I fall asleep).

#maniculum bestiaryposting #kraegrat

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scoobydoomistakes · 1 year

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For ages I've been meaning to go through some asks from y'all – I'm currently stuck in a hotel room, let's do a quick round!

Yeah, Gabe is still waiting for his turn with the orange cat communal brain cell.

Dude got himself inside the top level of the huge dresser we were building...

...and earlier that day, he only just remembered in time that he couldn't phase through glass, and almost ran headfirst into the door.

He believes himself intangible. We love him, but there is nothing else in the world like the Gabe.

Oh, like the "content-aware fill" posts? Those were fun!

Let's see... take this recent image... select background... aaaaaand...

...get traumatized for life. Good.

Looks like it still works! Or more-accurately doesn't, which is what makes it work so well.

Wouldn't consider myself knowledgeable enough to say, but it certainly sounds like it gave the IP a boost during some tough times...

...and despite how awfully he was generally used, I have to remind myself Scrappy was bafflingly the best thing about Boo Brothers.

Seriously. Watching it was like this weird alternate universe where Scrappy was well-written and a welcome addition. That was a surreal experience.

Yes, and... yes to basically every weird, low-budget classic show!

I've watched entirely too many VHS rips of '80s and '90s commercials to not want to see what we can find in them.

Ah, yes! He's an American Curl!

The breed apparently started in California, and has those cool ears.

No clue how he wound up a stray in the NC Triangle, but at the shelter my mother & younger brother help at, they managed to get him socialized enough/health problems resolved to become adoptable, after it was originally thought impossible! He's a happy boy.

And finally...

...thanks to everyone who sends in stuff like this. You keep me from forgetting that it really does bring joy to people!

After so many years of SDM, and as life only gets busier, and as Tumblr has had all its issues... it's easy to feel burned out, boxed in, or like none of it matters. Hearing that it's special to someone and gives them something pleasant after a rough day, that's why I keep it going. Stay cool, y'all.

–Colin

#and if you got all the way to the end #my present to you #is telling you to look up any Emo Phillips standup on YT #just saw his '87 HBO special & it's the funniest thing I've ever seen

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absolutebl · 1 year

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Ai’ with Aye & Akk - The Eclipse & Thai honorifics

hazmatilda asked: (and tumblr ate it so I’m reposting)

So I went down quite a rabbit hole with your bl linguistics Tag (thanks for that, 3 hours of reading when I should have been sleeping or working on my masters thesis for Wednesday :/ ), and I am riveted. I started watching Thai BLs with bad buddy when it was airing, and have watched most of the ones that have aired since then and now working on the backlog. I love linguistics, and have been noticing the different personal pronouns etc in Thai especially, so it was really cool to see that all laid out in your posts! The third person one is particular is quite special to me, and I wish it existed more in English and German. It's very frustrating being a genderqueer person living in Germany because non gendered pronouns don't really exist, and when they do it's quite niche and hard to get others to use :/

I couldn't agree more. I've grown to have real affection and love for Thailand's pronouns.

I also adore the way in many Asian languages we can just say our own name for the "I" pronoun. So much harder to forget someone's name and ALSO you're consistently reminded of what it is and how it shoudl be pronounced.

Just so you don't have to deal with my terrible (and hugely erratic) tagging system, I do have a language post meta guide (master post round up) just in case you want to rabbit hole some more:

BL Language & Culture Master Post (mostly Thai)

Back to your question...

Anyway, my question is, I noticed in The Eclipse the Ai' prefix (particle?) used between the boys, which you mentioned is not really used in BLs often, and I wanted your more detailed take on the way that Akk changes in his address of Aye in this regard, especially over the last couple of episodes. Is he being particularly rude?

Ai is an honorific originally used between peer/age mates/equals. (Like Phi or Nong.)

But now, depending on the stress/emphasis it carries different connotations including affection (Akk & Aye), insult (Ae & Pond in Love By Chance), annoyance/exasperation (Leo in Don't Say No), or pleading/whining (Fiat in Don't Say No).

Is he being particularly rude?

Yes but also, no. He's being... rudely affectionate? He's changing the boundaries of their relationship with, what amounts to, what I'd call an “insult honorific or mode of address.” (Common within peer groups, particularly marginalized ones. See gay & masculine identified use of "bitch" in late 90s early 2000s queer culture, particularly in North American coastal cities.)

So amongst some of my queer friends, regardless of gender or orientation someone will often yell, "Hey Biiitchesss!" Technically an insulting term, in this context, a friends honorific among peers and a way of identifying oneself and ones friends as different from the surrounding social morays.

Back to Ai'.

It seems mostly used for relationship emphasis these days (friendly intimacy, of a jocular/teasing nature), and almost always among peers. I think of it occasionally as an insult honorific.

In California the word "dude" is often used for this. "Seriously, dude!?" when someone cuts you off on the FWY. "Hey, Dude" to a friend you meet for lunch. "Awe, Dude, that's rough" affection/sympathy. And so forth.

I haven't watched Eclipse in a while so I can't speak to the bit your actually referring to. So there may be an additional use pattern in play, but Ai is an interesting honorific, in that it's one of those that isn’t always, or even often, entirely honoring. So to speak.

I do talk about Ai quite a bit in this post:

Why Ai'Hia was so funny in Cutie Pie

Never let me go also seems to be playing with the formality a lot, due to the class differences, which is cool to see. I'm sure the changing register and formality will play into PalmNuengs speech as the show progresses hehe.

Sorry for the ramble! 🧡🧡🧡

No apologies for rambling needed here, since I’m ruler of rambletown.

Yes it’s very very fun to see. You also get this a little with RainPhayu in Oh My Sunshine night (young high class seme + older servant uke), and a TON with Ae & Pete in Love By Chance.

If you haven’t watched it, I would highly recommend that one. Pete talks almsot entirely in high formal register and Ae in low. It’s a great way to train your ear for the two different registers. There’s no spoiled prince dynamic, so it’s an entirely different play on a class difference than NLMG. They are one of my all time favorite pairs for many reasons. Language is one.

All the best and I hope you keep enjoying yourself with BL and the linguistics!

(source)

#asked and answered #thai BL #thai language #thai linguistics #Never Let Me Go #The Eclipse #AkkAye #AyeAkk #Love By Chance #AePete #cutie pie the series

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literary-illuminati · 2 years

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Books I Read In August

38. When the Tiger Came Down The Mountain by Nghi Vo

I’m an increasingly big fan of Vo’s work. The Empress of Salt and Fortune was good, but honestly didn’t really stick with me nearly as much as this did.

Part of that is just the increased centrality of the framing device, honestly. I mean first of all I don’t really tend to have much patience for wish-fulfillment characters, but very hard to overstate how much Chih is just living the dream life (and my university indoctrination was thorough enough that the association of the study/preservation/gathering of history and sacredness seems very right and fitting to me.

Also, I just absolutely adore when the story makes a thing of unreliable narrators. Like, when someone’s telling a story and as the scene’s ending someone else interrupts and goes “You’re telling it all wrong!” and gives a completely different version that’s at least as biased in another direction? Poetry.

The actual myth with the lesbian romance and the were-tiger warlord and stuff was also a lot of fun don’t get me wrong, but like, would have been a bit forgettable without the framing device stuff around it.

Anyway, give Chih a tv show. Or at least a half dozen more novellas like this.

39. Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky

This is the first actual full book of poetry I’ve read….I mean ever, probably, if we’re taking cover to cover. Certainly since I finished high school. So there’s some Culture achieved.

I was…not especially impressed, if I’m being entirely honest? Or, properly - “We Lived Happily During The War '' and “In A Time of Peace '' were both really affecting, but also I had already read both (posted here on tumblr, actually). They’re what sold me on the book. Everything between them did, well, not really live up to it?

I mean, I’m sure that there’s all manner of genius in craft and stuff that flew right over my head, but it just seemed so focused on being clever with line breaks that it failed to do much else. Like, most of the books on the list have plenty of lines that are more poetic by my (doubtlessly irredeemably philistine) definition than any of the poems that made up the middle of the book.

40. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon

I honestly forget where I first heard about this book, but it’s been very vaguely sitting on my mental tbr list for the last few years,and the library happened to have it in, so.

Anyway, the conceit (an alternate history where WW2 went slightly differently, and also Israel lost in 1947, and through a bunch of political compromises there ended up being an autonomous federal district carved out in Alaska as a temporary national home for the Jewish people - ‘temporary’ meaning expiring on the near year as the novel takes place) is just fascinating, and Chabon had a lot of fun with little offhand references to how different the rest of the world has gotten, too. The fact that everyone speaks Yiddish but with occasional catch phrases and curses called out as being said in American was cute, too.

The story itself was just incredibly, almost painfully noir - genius of a police detective with a ruined marriage, crippling alcoholism, and no future is woken up in the middle of the night because a heroin addict who boards in the same hotel as him was found dead by gunshot, discovers that the victim was the firstborn son of a prominent underworld/religious authority, disowned and ostracized for being gay, through this he stumbles into a sinister conspiracy involving the CIA and the death of his sister. He can’t stop the conspiracy but he might just be able to get justice for the murder, etc, etc. The commitment to the genre is fun,but the late night diners and descriptions of hangovers do begin to get old eventually.

It was also kind of dated, in an interesting way? Like, the Federal government spooks being clean cut bible college boys, all polite and well mannered and sincere Christian Zionists trying to get America into a war to help bring about the End Times, really feels like the sort of thing that only gets written during the Bush Administration. (The single tragic too-good-for-the-world dead heroine addict gay guy and the constant jokes about every less-than-perfectly-feminine woman being mistaken for a lesbian, also somewhat dated).

Anyway, think my vocabulary of random Yiddish words about doubled from reading this, and also many themes about Judaism that I am not even slightly qualified to comment on.

41: Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells

This books are so fun. And just about perfectly bite-sized, too.

Or tv episode sized, really - each has about the perfect amount of plot for an hour long episode of network tv, I think. Pity they’re basically unadaptable.

Anyway, not too much to say about this, really, except that Murderbot’s complete inability to understand their own emotions would probably be annoying by now if it wasn’t so funny, and reading it really left a grin on my face.

Or well, also, I do really enjoy all the little hints that the ‘corporate rim’ is actually kind of a galactic shithole, and Murderbot just treats it like the hegemonic default because its all they know. Certainly nowhere else seems to be nearly as bad about synthetic life (nowhere’s exactly good either, mind, but).

42. Radiance by Catherynne Valente

Oh I adored this book.

I mean in large part because I’m a big fan of Valente’s prose when she gets all grandiloquent, and also the basic aesthetic of the setting (High Victorian Space Age by way of the Golden Age of Hollywood on the moon) is just utter catnip to me. But the whole epistolary pretension, telling the story through interviews after the fact and remaining scraps of documentary footage and different drafts of a dramatization made a decade latter that are each completely different genres and occasional clips of Severin’s previous films?

It’s all just showing off to an incredible degree and I’m sure if I didn’t love the book I’d find it unbearably pretentious, but I do, so it’s absolutely great.

The amateur historian in me was kind of irked by the sort of political stasis - it does the fallout thing where the fin de siecle kind of just continues uninterrupted for another fifty years bit with stranger and more wondrous tech, the apocalypse of the Great War put off by all the virgin lands to colonize and everything just kind of continuing as it was (except for the development of the film industry). But that’s kind of a theme. (Much more minorly, the world only seems to have gotten weird in the late 19th century, except that there are sovereign and internationally significant Seneca and Iroquois nations that get mentioned several times, which kind of require a fundamental change to the nature of the American state significantly before then.)

The ending also didn’t really land for me - anything about infinite multiverses honestly makes it difficult for me to stay invested, and anything where the fictional setting tries to encompass/include the ‘real world’ almost always loses me instantly (qualified exception for actual portal fantasy, if it’s good. But introducing the real world in the third act has basically only ever worked for me exactly once).

Which is a pity, because aside from those bits the ending could have been designed to appeal to me in a lab. Was so close to perfection.

43. How to Invent Everything by Ryan North

I took a three week break in the middle, so this technically took me a full calendar month to read. Library was getting pretty angry.

Anyway, I think I said it before but I stand by it - this book would be a significant improvement over the majority of currently existing middle/high school science curriculums. (In the same way that Magic School Bus and Bill Nye taught me more than science class ever did until high school (and even then)).

Anyway, did pick up a lot of interesting trivia, and the author is apparently the dinosaur comics guy(?), which really shows through in the writing (not ALL the jokes come anywhere close to landing, but the ones that don’t are mostly dad-joke like enough that it’s kind of endearing).

Also learned the exact limits of my understanding in (in decreasing order of) mechanical engineering, electricity, and computers. (I really do need someone to gently take me by the hand at some point and explain how basic logic gates doing addition and subtraction ends up with, well, tumblr, or triple A video games, or any of it. Like on a mechanical level.)

Anyway, I should take up sewing. And write the half-essay floating around my head about how horrible mines are and how morally uncomfortable that is.

44. Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach

Okay I forget who on here recommended this to me, but thanks! Was a ton of fun, great light morbid summer read.

Roach has a great sort of chatty style, and she does the thing I normally rather dislike working personal anecdotes and descriptions of people she interviewed into everything, but she honestly actually makes it work.

It came out in the early 2000s and was endearingly dated at times, and vaguely racist in a ‘the strange and exotic Orient!’ way at others, but like generally mostly holds up, I think?

It’s not nearly as difficult a read as you’d expect given the subject matter (‘the human corpse, how it decays, and things we do to it’, essentially). Or, well,that might me a be mostly a me thing, but I found it a trove of fun trivia, anyway.

(The one exception being the section on the history of the pursuit of the human head transplant, and specifically the animal experiments done on the subject. That made me more queasy than anything I can remember reading recently, which is I suppose a useful thing to know about myself.)

#monthly tally #book review #analysis/review #when the tiger came down the mountain #nghi vo #Deaf Republic #ilya kaminsky #The Yiddish Policemen's Union #michael chabon #rogue protocol #Murderbot #Martha Wells #Radiance #Catherynne Valente #How to Invent Everything #Ryan North #Stiff #Mary Roach

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blazehedgehog · 9 months

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Thoughts on One Piece?

I've told this story, but since Tumblr search is so awful, I'll tell it again.

The short of it is: I really wanted to get into One Piece. When One Piece started, pirates weren't really a subject you saw a whole lot of in anime. I thought Oda's art style was fresh and cool, too.

I did not like dealing with fansubs. They were kind of difficult to acquire (relatively), and at the time, I had a router that would absolutely crap its pants if I left a torrent running (it would have a firmware crash and all internet traffic would die until you power cycled the device). So the Kaizoku stuff was right out for me from the start.

I forget which came first, the 4Kids dub or Viz launching American Shonen Jump with their version One Piece. I think the 4Kids dub was first, because I remember being angry at Viz for adopting "Zolo" instead of "Zoro." Either way, I was angry about the 4Kids dub, but I was lucky enough to pick up the entire first 12 months of Shonen Jump, and figured that's where I'd start with One Piece.

Didn't have the money to keep buying new Jumps past that first year, so I figured I'd have to slum it with scanlations at least. I believe I left off in the back half of Baratie, and the only scanlations I could find from that part of the manga were like, truly awful quality. I have described them as "third generation Yahoo Groups quality scans." They were dark, blurry, heavily compressed, and the dialog was barely a step above an automated machine translation. I almost wish I could find them again, because it was nasty.

Around this time I think Funimation announced they wrestled the rights to One Piece away from the decaying hands of 4Kids, so I was happy to wait for that. We subscribed to Netflix in those days, the original DVD-by-mail service, so I'd rent each new set as they came out. Got all the way up through Baratie, up through Arlong Park, up to where they visit and prepare to leave Loguetown.

I think by the time the DVDs hit the fifth set, I ran into a problem: physical rental locations like Blockbuster had hard rental deadlines. You had to bring the disc (or tape) back in a day or two. Netflix, famously, had no rental deadlines. Keep things as long as you like.

While I had no trouble getting 1-4, some clown got set 5 before I could, and sat on it. For over a year. I complained to Netflix, and Netflix just shrugged at me.

Within a year or two of that, Funimation officially launched a One Piece website, like my memory is saying it was onepiece.com or something (which it isn't, that's a clothing store), but the point was they were announcing they were going to simulcast subs of the anime, for free, on this site. They were also adding dub episodes to this site, again, to stream for free. Back then, this was pretty unprecedented. Hulu was only a few years old at this point.

I figured: wow! Now's my chance! Go to check the website and...

The free episodes ended at the exact same point I left off at with the Netflix DVDs. Episode 53. It went from Dub Episode 53 straight to Sub Episode 230, which is where the simulcast began. Looking at Funimation's current site, this is what they consider "Season 1."

So I earmarked it. "Maybe I can finish it some day."

Some day never came. One Piece is over 1000 chapters (100 volumes) and 1000 episodes. There is over 430 hours of One Piece available to watch. The manga is so big people have talked about it taking up an entire shelving unit. I even saw photos once of somebody who had their shelf break because their One Piece collection was so heavy.

It took me over a year to read 16 volumes of the original Dragon Ball. There are almost ten times as many volumes of One Piece.

I have given up. I will never read it. Never watch it. Never see it. It's great that it's this amazing thing, truly this long journey, but even at 500 chapters it would have been too much.

Even if I wanted to, it's grown to be such a thing that when something happens in the anime or the manga, there are instantly spoilers for it all over the entire internet. 107 volumes of that is pretty disheartening.

I know about One Pace. One Pace is still too long. Some of those videos are over 20 hours. For a single video. And One Pace still has gaps in their coverage anyway.

It's just not happening.

#questions #Anonymous #one piece #anime #manga #funimation #viz #4kids #ichiro oda

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maryellencarter · 1 year

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So I've been tussling with how to write this post for some time now.

Uh, the background good news first? I appear to have worked almost an entire pay period and also March is a three paycheck month, so I'm making some very solid progress on getting caught up on my bills, and it seems like this might even continue. I know I tend to be more optimistic than is usually warranted, but 70 hours in my time clock when working all my scheduled hours would put me at 72 is pretty damn impressive, especially compared to how I've been doing for a really long time.

So then I was poking around and trying to figure out what one even does with disposable income. I've been going to a knitting group at a local yarn shop recently (I forget if I mentioned here but a friend was able to get me some KN95 masks and some helpful information about transmission rates so I can socialize safely again! This is probably a big factor in me being less depressed and more worky again also), but I don't really enjoy owning yarn I don't have A Plan for, so right now I've got a cable sweater for Leia, a fancy silk lace scarf, a puffy hexagon blanket, and a crochet baby blanket going, and I just really don't want any more yarn until I finish with one or two of these projects.

Recently, though, as y'all have probably seen, there was an announcement going around about the American Girl doll brand announcing a pair of 1999-themed Historical Character dolls. Because Tumblr is the "we are getting old" website at this point, there were Noises. (They have a Pizza Hut "Book-It" reading program playset. I have never been smacked in the face with nostalgia so hard in my entire life.)

As some of y'all may also remember, I used to have a whole collection of American Girl dolls and furniture and whatnot, because I was trying to do the whole "believe you can be safe and stable now and have the things you were never allowed to have as a kid" thing with a reasonable part of the money I'd inherited from my then recently deceased grandmother (a lovely human being, and by extreme genetic good luck the relative I take after physically, so that I don't have to deal with the whole "growing up to look exactly like my abuser" thing that some people have to suffer through). Then the 2016 election happened, I had a horrible depressive spiral, was unable to work, sold 90% of my collection to pay the rent, eventually became homeless anyway, and lost the other 10% by trusting the wrong person to keep my stuff safe when I had no other options.

ANYWAY! Not the point. The point is that I started poking my nose back into the American Girl website, and then the wiki in order to try to figure out what all I'd missed, and I'm kind of being like "hey, I could hypothetically afford some of this stuff again now".

(I personally find it hilarious that the brand is trying to walk a line between "Addressing trans and nonbinary identities in our helpful book on puberty for preteens? Sure, we'll do that, we're progressive! Also did you say Harry Potter collaboration? That's a license to basically print money from customers who are nostalgic for the same era we were most popular in, let's do this", which is exactly the kind of seesawing I expect from Disney -- who owns American Girl via Mattel.)

So *anyway*, and this is the part of this post I'm really struggling with: I also used to be heavily involved in the part of the American Girl adult collectors fandom that describes itself as "queer-friendly and socially conscious". That part of the fandom runs the wiki (which is an extremely useful and well-constructed resource). I don't know who-all from those days may still follow me on Tumblr, and I'm actually not looking to cause drama, just sort of thinking out loud as I so often do on the tunglrs, but after five years away from the fandom and having poked my nose back in, I'm running into a royal shitton of memories (and a little new information) that's making me go "Holy fuck, this place was *incredibly* toxic, no wonder I got utterly burned out on trying to interact with the dolls and items the way they demanded everybody should. No wonder I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells to even say anything or post a picture related to this fandom."

So. Let's be real. I'm saying "the way they demanded". It's one person, backed up by other mods who don't create their own separate demands. This particular section of the fandom is ruled with an iron fist by one self-described Angry Black Woman who... the very kindest way I can find to describe it is, she's a walking talking demonstration of how you cannot create a single safe space that's safe for everyone. I made a post several years ago that went a little bit viral, where I pointed out that being uncomfortable with a very verbally aggressive black authority figure can actually be because of the "very verbally aggressive authority figure" part, say if you're a survivor of emotional abuse *koff koff*, and doesn't have to mean you're "uncomfortable with black anger" Because You're Racist. That post was a direct reaction to multiple instances of seeing this person tell people "you're pushing back against me being verbally abusive, that's a racist action on your part".

That's the kindest, most nonconfrontational way I can come up with to talk about the situation. Less tactfully, after going to look over the forum rules for this subsection of the fandom -- hoping to realize I'd just been an extremely sensitive tortellini at the time and they weren't that bad, because I know I was an extremely sensitive tortellini in other matters -- in actual fact, I've been reminded very loudly that these rules are a 13k essay on topics such as You Must Be Okay With Verbal/Emotional Abuse If It's Directed At You By People Of Color, All Cultures Of Color Are Closed Cultures Now (So Don't You Dare Put This Black Doll's Clothes On Any Other Doll), and the real kicker for me, Only Selected Queer Identities Are Suitable For Public Discussion (subsection We're Redefining Queerness To Exclude Polyamory, new since I was last here, with sub-subsection Oops We Didn't Mean To Exclude Asexuals Only Those Icky Cishets, and fun guessing game Are We Excluding Aromantics Or Did We Just Forget They Exist, Ask And See If You Get Banned).

I... genuinely didn't mean to go on that long. But this is exactly why I'm making this post. Because I have a *lot* of trauma from trying to figure out what's actually racist or offensive and what's not, while being in a community where anything the main mod doesn't like can suddenly be declared an offense against social justice, and if you ever step on her toes, you're likely to be relegated to the ranks of the damned (aka the white Christian mommybloggers who own more than six white dolls or less than 50% dolls of color). And as probably all of you know, I do a lot of thinking out loud about trauma. Which is a PROBLEM, because this person definitely still follows me here (I don't know who else from the fandom does), and Tumblr blocks don't keep people from seeing your posts, only interacting with them.

So. Uh. There's probably going to be... more of this. I'm making this post now because I'm almost done sewing a doll skirt, I want to show it off here, and I'm also having a really nasty anxiety attack over how this person is definitely going to metaphorically rip it to shreds in the dedicated forum thread for mocking homemade doll clothes (mostly from Etsy) that don't live up to her exacting standards of Historically Accurate Doll Costuming. (The skirt is gathered instead of using 1800s-style "cartridge pleats"! The horror!)

Yeah. So. Um. I guess... if you follow me from when I was last in AG doll fandom, here's where I stand, at least right now. I'm not going to name any names, but you likely know who I'm talking about. I'm not going to go after anybody or cause trouble on their blog, but I'm not going to pull any punches when I'm talking about the ways they and their policies have made me feel unsafe in the fandom. And I'm not going to follow their byzantine rules based on the concept that a single doll can only have one ethnicity and one backstory. A doll, in its essence, is a shapeshifter the way a character actor is a shapeshifter, and not all of us want to create 50+ fixed individual characters that can't wear each other's clothes.

If you can't live with any of that, feel free to go commiserate with each other. I'm not planning to go back to the forum, so don't worry that I'll see anything you say there. (I'm not even planning to publish the rules publicly, since they're not viewable when logged out, although they are a trip and a half to read without the context of the dramas that shaped them.)

If you're scared what will happen to your standing in the fandom if you like my posts or keep following me, though... maybe that's a place to start thinking.

#american girl #yeah i'm tagging it #i'm not turning off reblogs either #we'll see if anybody cares

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longdeadblonde · 1 year

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Mun

Hi, I’m Ravis! I’m a twenty-two year old, Mexican/Salvadorian-American college student, I’m a psychology major! I identify as an androgyne and all pronouns are acceptable! I have been roleplaying since about 2012-2013, though I have been on and off in recent months due to some aspects of my academic and personal life. My timezone is PDT. Some of my hobbies include poetry, a few video games, CD and crystal collecting, internet spelunking for obscure horror movies, and doll collecting/customizing.

Feel free to message me! I’m literally just some guy! Especially where threads are concerned, I want everybody involved to have fun! Don’t be afraid that you might be disrupting or bugging me! I’m here to RP with people and that requires communication! Though I must mention that I am a little “funny in the head”, as well as a college student and might just be too tired to hop on somedays, but rest assured that I will get back to you as soon as I can!

I’m telling you all this stuff about me so you can remember that there’s a human being behind the keyboard. I feel like too often, people forget that since when communication happens, we’re only ever looking at words on a screen! I am here at my keyboard as I sure you are too! The comfort of muns comes first, always. If I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable, please don’t hesitate to let me know!

I made a few of my own icons for this account but a good chunk of the graphics, borders, and dividers I made myself. If ya like them, I could give you a few pointers. Just don’t steal them please! I use a combination of Pixlr and Canva Pro to add filters, gradients, borders, graphics, and text.

If these muses look familiar with you, I used to be necroticblonde! I ended up falling off the RP train pretty hard due to some emotional issues I was having while that blog was active. By the time I came back, almost everybody I followed had gone inactive. I decided I wanted a fresh start! I mostly adding this for the sake of transparency.

Fandoms I’m familiar with: Devil May Cry, Black Butler, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, The Vampire Chronicles, Devilman (Crybaby and Devil Lady), Ghost (the band), American Horror Story, The Wayhaven Chronicles, Vampire: The Masquerade (V5 and Bloodlines), What We Do In The Shadows, and the House of 1000 Corpses Trilogy. Though my account isn’t entirely limited to these fandoms! I will say I will be EXTREMELY selective with the DMC fandom due to ABSOLUTELY RANCID previous experience.

My VTM Malkavian RP account: mxldito

My VTM Tremere RP account: usurpblooded (WIP)

My Sims 4 account: babyyraysims

My personal account: sleepknoot

My BJD account: skodolls

Art Credit:

Doll by HimboProtector on Twitter | Tumblr. – Prism has a very sweet soft and sketchy look and is ever evolving. If you’re a fan of League of Legends, especially Qiyana, Yasuo, and Draven, they’re your one stop shop! Of course, I recommend their dolls heavily!

#Mobile Mun

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bread--quest · 2 years

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ok so i want to post my observations/stories about my coworkers but obviously i don't want to dox them but also i can't just keep saying "my coworker" because a) that makes it sound like theres only one which would get confusing and b) what if theres multiple of them in a story. so i thought it over and decided the most simple american way was to rank them all by how much i like them and refer to them as such. if you are interested in hearing stories of my fun job adventures it will be helpful for you to internalize the following list:

coworker #1 (they/them): my favorite one. fellow intern. they're really cool. they taught me how to play speed (card game) and used they/them pronouns for me and lied to our boss once (told her we were talking about intern projects when we had actually been discussing ofmd). they have a tumblr and are really good at fashion. i have a crush on them and i hope they never find this post love and light

coworker #2 (she/her): also an intern! was on myspace right before it died and also on neopets. this garners her more respect from me then almost any of my actually older coworkers. from florida which is one point not in her favor but it's chill. i introduced her to picrew yesterday and she loved it

coworker #3 (he/him): one of the interpreters/tour guides. i thought he was like mid to late twenties until yesterday but he's actually 18 it's just that he has an entire beard and the manner and bearing of a camp counselor. anyway he's really nice and fun to talk to

coworker #4 (she/her): like the second-in-command after my boss kinda. she's pretty cool, comes around to check on everyone. wears sunglasses even though she doesn't seem like a person to wear sunglasses but she makes it work

coworker #5 (she/her): another of the interpreters. she's the youngest person here but very capable. she seems cool

coworker #6 (she/her): probably the oldest person here? she's really cool, talks for a bit too long sometimes but y'know she has a lot to talk about so i don't mind.

coworker #7 (she/her): older woman. seems nice

coworker #8 (she/her): my school librarian which is awkward. she keeps asking me about school stuff and im like im sorry School Sonder isnt here right now this is Work Sonder please call back later

coworker #9 (she/her): older woman. new here. very nervous about being new here. keeps making other people do a certain demonstration for her because she's not confident in it. i keep trying to explain the concept of "fake it (confidence) till you make it (through the demonstration)" to her but its not working

coworker #10 (he/him): a young adult with the energy of a teen boy who has just entered puberty. doesn't seem to have a sense of what's appropriate for what conversations always. funny in a "i would like to study him" kind of way

coworker #11 (he/him): middle-aged guy who talks a LOT about boats. has a lot of opinions on boats. may be from massachusetts. keeps trying to make suggestions to make our tours be more accurate (read: have more details about boats). his main redeeming quality is that he seems to have some level of self-awareness about the fact that he talks way too much about boats but he is making no effort to change this

my boss (she/her): separate from the others because she's my boss. she's pretty nice and i like her but i'm a little scared of her in the way youre scared of authority figures who you both want and need to like you. sometimes she assigns me projects and then forgets about them entirely which is honestly kind of relatable

archivist (she/her): on the same level as my boss but not actually my boss because i don't work in the archives so i'm not intimidated by her. very nice. likes doctor who. sometimes she stops talking mid-sentence and stares blankly ahead for like 10 seconds before resuming her sentence. i don't think anyone at this museum is neurotypical

#jobder #< will be my job stories/coworker observations tag so you can block it if you wish #listen these are basically the only people aside from my family im seeing all summer #im GONNA find them interesting #upd8z #i hope to god none of them ever find this lmao #and also that i didnt put any too revealing information in the post

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lostacelonnie · 5 months

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Thats entirely fair i don't think anyone trusts tumblr to work correctly tbh. Ive just been feeling the seasonal blues a bit. Ah heck why do teachers always do that instead of letting up on the workload. I do have a bit of chill time coming up thankfully which will be great because i need rest & to holiday shop. Oh heck i cant imagine that like. Americans are a mixed bag of overly friendly & minders of their own business but a place where its all overly friendly would be a culture shock to me. That feels like the universal experience with talking to native spanish speakers just. Yeah we can guess kinda what's bein said through context & gesticulating. Finding a few recipes you can do & rolling from there is just how it goes i imagine. But ive been cooking for many years so i had to branch out to keep some variety otherwise meals would be boring. I have wireless earbuds but only because like. People talk to me often when im not expecting it & it bothers me a lil because the mental illnesses so its easier to listen to stuff & use that as my reason for not hearing them. Australia truly is the land of wild shit. Its got that category on lock. Wow thats like. Complete spectrum opposite teachers? Almost? Maybe? Though how does a math teacher not know counting was she just tired one day or is that common? Thats entirely fair i don't think anyone trusts tumblr to work correctly tbh. Ive just been feeling the seasonal blues a bit. Ah heck why do teachers always do that instead of letting up on the workload. I do have a bit of chill time coming up thankfully which will be great because i need rest & to holiday shop. Oh heck i cant imagine that like. Americans are a mixed bag of overly friendly & minders of their own business but a place where its all overly friendly would be a culture shock to me. That feels like the universal experience with talking to native spanish speakers just. Yeah we can guess kinda what's bein said through context & gesticulating. Finding a few recipes you can do & rolling from there is just how it goes i imagine. But ive been cooking for many years so i had to branch out to keep some variety otherwise meals would be boring. I have wireless earbuds but only because like. People talk to me often when im not expecting it & it bothers me a lil because the mental illnesses so its easier to listen to stuff & use that as my reason for not hearing them. Australia truly is the land of wild shit. Its got that category on lock. Wow thats like. Opposite spectrum of teachers maybe? Though how does she not know counting was she just tired one day? Noted for sure ill pay closer attention to the honkai meta. Yknow i hope what a herscherr is gets explained because i still dont know. Oh thats cool to know i will make a note of that polish phrase to try & remember linguistics can be fun. Ah yeah for sure they actually put effort into like. Making neuvillette have a story & be interesting & it shows. Only genshin male i care for probably. Oh hey stigmatism gang. Im farsighted with a stigmatism also so same hat. I always forget about talents & weapon leveling but it works out its all good. A 7 am as well jeesh are you good? This arc is very good & i cant wait to see where it goes wataoshi owns my attention now. Oh yeah i saw you mention noita how is it? Damn. Thats a lot of lore shoutout to himeko the mvp. Love her. What exactly is a honkai anyways are they like. The antimatter legion from star rail. Or well are the legion like the honkai beasts? Also do you have any seele lore? Also also glad you saw the polish post i had hope you would

this website will forever be scuffed JSJDSKDJF. and dont worry me too. its Getting Bad Again but soon its gonna be the winter solstice and i always start feeling better when the days get longer again. and god yeah fr...... we literally have so many grades already CAN THEY CHILL. luckily i got sick again so i didnt have to go to school today and im guessing im not gonna have many lessons to catch up on since its our last Proper day before the holidays and we have pretty easy subjects on wednesday so. we chillen. yeah same thank GOD for the holidays. tho im gonna have to deal with my family for like an entire week which. auuugh. dont wanna. but oh well ill get through it Somehow. AND GOD YEAH with being polish is much more noticable bc ppl here just really will avoid any unnecessary interaction with strangers [which is perfectly fine by me i like not being bothered]. but yeah the gesticulation Does help a lot in communicating. at the end of the day, as long as the message gets conveyed, it doesnt really matter How that was accomplished. i usually order takeout to my school since we have a program like that so i dont really have to cook that much, but yeah i should also probably branch out SJDKGK i dont know howw much longer i can survive on scrambled eggs every time i cant eat at school. yeah fair, i use my headphones to avoid conversations as well, tho luckily i have friends that are generally chill about the fact i will just. Not talk sometimes so i dont even have to do that a lot. and yeah we actually joke about how exactly opposite they are JSKFJG and its. a common occurence. but then again my school is just Not that great so nobody is surprised. good luck with the meta!!! its hellish at first but gets a bit easier with every built valkyrie so just trust the process. AH IM SORRY i unfortunately have a bad habit of using honkai specific terms as if theyre common knowledge. my bad. but essentially, the honkai itself is like. a force, i guess is the best word? that, despite being non-sentient, has one goal: destroying humanity. it grows along with human progress. the antimatter legion is not a bad comparison, actually! and a herrscher is a person thats been, in a way, possessed by the honkai to obtain incredible amounts of power to try and carry out the honkais objective of destruction. herrschers have different. specialties, you could say? some of them are more obvious [like the herrscher or wind, thunder, fire, ice etc] and some are more abstract [the herrscher of the void, origin, domination, for example]. in the current era, with enough willpower and self control, those powers can be used by a herrscher without them losing their humanity. it gets a bit more complicated than that but thats the basic rundown. ANYWAY COMING BACK linguistics will always be fascinating to me....... especially etymology. i love etymology. AND YEAH SAME i thought the day would never come in which i would care about a genshin guy and yet. also hey were matching......... i used to also always forget to level up talents but since traces are a bit more accentuated in the star rail tut it kinda carried over to genshin for me i guess. 7 am classes have caused me to go through all stages of grief but, just like those, i have reached Acceptance. at least theres less people on the bus so i can sit down. AND YEAH YEAH YEAH THE LOVE SCALE ARC HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE....... i love manaria. terrible wingwoman. very charming and handsome. and about noita yes ive been playing it. a Lot recently. roguelikes are fun theyre surprisingly making me More patient than i was instead of destroying my psyche like everyone said they would. and since noita is a finnish game im genuinely having a lot of fun learning the pronunciation of a lot of the enemy names. HIMEKO REALLY IS THE MVP FOREVER AND ALWAYS. I LOVE HER. i do in fact have seele lore and as previously i shall put it under the cut!! and im actually designed to sense and reblog all polish posts o7

as with himeko, i wouldnt consider myself an Expert on seele lore [if you have any further questions and/or want a more in-depth analysis of her, i would redirect you to tumblr user crowties] BUT i do know it. decently well. it goes without saying that this is also gonna contain massive spoilers.

so, seele's [as well as bronya's!] backstory is mainly showcased in the azure waters manga [although, do be warned that it features themes such as: physical and psychological abuse, child soldiers, pedophilia, and [minor on minor] attempted sa]. but moving on from all that.

seele grew up in cocolia's orphanage, in siberia, where she also met bronya after she was picked up by cocolia. she was also born with a certain condition, being a natural stigma [stigmata in the honkaiverse are manifestations of honkai energy which people are very rarely born with, but schicksal for example uses artificial ones to boost valkyries' combat capabilities]. that very stigma belonged to the herrscher of death in the previous era and is fully sentient! im gonna call her veliona so that its harder to mix them up but do know that theyre both referred to as seele in the game [and its actually a pretty important part of their identity that theyre both seele]. now the thing about seele and veliona is that you think theyre gonna be a terrible did stereotype and then theyre. Not. as in veli, at first, does act like "the evil alter" but shes actually just pretty mean but wants to protect seele. since seele is just. Very fragile due to being, you know, a timid 12 y/o.

in the orphanage, another one of the kids was sin mal! she exists solely to be a terrible person but i heard that wasnt the case in guns girl z so i defend her anyway. sin was jealous over the fact that bronya and seele became so close despite seele being weak, so she PUSHED BRONYA DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS AND BROKE HER LEGS???? shes that kind of person i guess. seele actually saw it happen but she was too scared to do anything. which, understandable! sin is extremely volatile.

seele then gets Kidnapped by child sex traffickers but bronya singlehandedly finds her and murders everyone responsible. seele is pretty horrified because 1. bronya [also 12] just killed a bunch of people in front of her and 2. she saw a manifestation of veliona that made her feel Happy that this is happening. veli is not very good at communication and also genuinely considers herself a terrible person at that point in time so that doesnt help with the evil alter allegations but oh well.

then. cocolia, at the request of anti entropy [allegedly?] starts carrying out child experiments, meant to make people achieve 100% honkai resistance. the people selected are bronya and sin, but seele volunteers in bronyas place since theyre pretty dangerous. right before that, however, sin attempts to assault seele, which veliona does Not let slide, so she rips out sins tooth and then traps her consciousness in an illusion in which she pushes her down the stairs and then slices off her fingers. good riddance.

however, the x-10 experiment Fails and seele falls into the sea of quanta, going missing. tho right as its about to happen, veliona actually uses a lot of her power to let seele see the sea, because she made a promise with bronya that they would go together someday. right as shes about to reach bronya, her power runs out and they completely disappear into the sea.

when bronya finds out about about this, she wants to take the x-10 test herself to try and find seele. cocolia doesnt want to let her go so that SHE DOESNT LOSE MORE CHILDREN, but bronya shows that shes gonna kill herself if cocolia doesnt agree and so she goes. during her test, she. actually manages to reconnect with seele for a while! they kiss and make a promise that theyll see each other again. however, due to bronyas legs still not being fully healed, she actually gets pretty badly hurt [with her legs needing prosthetics, as well as damage to her emotive circuits] during the test and is forcefully disconnected. seele manages to manifest bronya a robot project bunny. somehow. it helps her move and is also a giant cannon.

after this, seele and veliona float in the sea of quanta for 4 years. they grow quite close to each other during this, tho still maintain some distance because veli is just. not very sociable. veliona also makes a deal with an entity called the serpent [which i believe was confirmed to be kevin? but dont quote me on that] because he promises that hell get them out of the sea if they help him escape as well. veli is fully aware hes taking advantage of her but she has to try everything. when bronya jumps into the soq during the herrscher of reason arc, she manages to find seele! at first, velis deal with the serpent forces her to fight bronya, but during cyberangel seele and bronya end up working together. seele is also the one who makes bronya survive contact with the core of reason. as theyre escaping from the sea, bronya almost gets left behind, so seele and veliona achieve full unity during dual ego [IM INSANE ABOUT THEM. I AM INSANE] and they leave the sea.

after that, seele is admittedly Not that present in the main story [tho she does appear a couple of times!] until the moon arc and later the salt snow holy city arc, which is also the best part of the game because i said so and i am always right. SERIOUSLY THO SALT SNOW ARC IS MY FAVORITE IT IS SO GOOD IT IS SO-

anyway. seele and veliona are the protagonists in this one! i would so happily tell you the story but im also unfortunately too tired to give a detailed description of THE ENTIRE ARC so ill keep things short. when dispatched for a mission in nagazora, seele [and susannah! susannah is in this arc. i love her] gets dragged into a bubble universe by misteln [who, due to some events in the moon arc, veliona has extreme beef with]. but its actually a pretty bad thing because, due to the unique structure of the universe [that being, its actually two universes overlapping, one acting as the normal world and the other as the afterlife], seele and veli get separated. this causes significant mental distress to both of them. however, eventually they manage to reconnect! which also accidentally makes them the sage of the universe [a special role, usually reserved for one person] since they fulfill the criteria of being able to traverse between life and death. the problem is, theres..... already a sage....... and the universe starts collapsing. after a fight, the previous sage gives up her powers and seele gets sealed in her tower to act her role. it turns out that her becoming the sage wasnt what actually triggered the collapse, and so the team [consisting of seele, veli, susannah, kira, niggurath, senti, misteln, prometheus, vita, and schrodinger] works together to try and prevent it in another way. a Bunch Of Shit happens which i love very deeply but would also take way too long to explain, and seele gets separated from veliona, eventually becoming the herrscher of death [but, vita decides that seele is a far too gentle person to be called that, and so she becomes the herrscher of rebirth]. they manage to save the universes, and also free vita from being a pawn to sa, the force destroying the universe. they get to return home after that :)

i am extremely normal about seele and veliona [they give me mental illness]

#i meant to reply to this on friday since i was in the hospital [nothing serious dw] but my hand hurt from the venflon. hell on earth #pen pals

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acespec-ed · 2 years

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“What if I’m not ace because I don’t go out often enough to meet new people to become sexually attracted to?”

I’ve always been a bit of a shut in. Never go out much. Stay home most of the time. I’m a boring person with a boring life. And I can tell you with upmost certainty that, unless you literally never leave the house, and don’t watch TV/movies/internet videos, you’ve seen enough people to know.

When you leave the house to simply get the mail or take out the trash, you’ll eventually see what your neighbors look like.

When you go to the store, because, you’ll need to buy stuff eventually, you see fellow customers and multiple cashiers, depending on the size of the store.

You want to stop for takeout? More customers, more workers.

Do you go to school? The average American high school has over 500 students. You share classes with those students. You pass those students in the hall. Your friends introduce you to some of those students who are in their classes but not yours. You’re there for four years, watching students leave the school and enter the school. And if you’re in college? This number gets bumped up to the thousands! (Of course, you’re not going to see every single student who goes to your school, but there’s still a decent chance of finding one of them sexually attractive.) And there’s teachers and faculty members to crush on as well.

Don’t have a car and have to take public transportation to go to school/work/run errands? There’s people waiting at the bus stop. There’s people taking the bus with you. And you get to see even more people when you take that bus back home.

And let’s not forget random joggers and dog walkers you’re bound to see every time you leave the house.

Maybe you have a job. Do you not see customers every day? Or is it a job that doesn’t involve seeing customers every day? If so, you got coworkers. And coworkers leave and get replaced by new coworkers. Not only that, but who spends their entire life working at one job nowadays? Chances are, you’ll get a new job at some point. Or maybe you’ve already worked multiple jobs. Maybe you’re currently working multiple jobs. Regardless, you still meet new people through having a job. What’s that? Your job is one where you’re isolated from people? You still have a boss. And you’ve had to of bumped into a fellow employee every now and then.

Doctors offices? Dentist offices? Libraries? Jury duty?

Okay, fine. Maybe you’re unemployed and were homeschooled. Maybe you’re disabled and can’t leave the house. Maybe you simply avoid leaving the house at all costs. Maybe you just live in an area where everyone knows everybody, or somewhere rural.

Do you not watch TV? Do you not watch movies? Do you not watch internet videos? Do you not discover a new band, look them up, and see what all their members look like? Do you not see pictures and gif sets of people whenever you log into the Tumblr dot com?

Not to mention salesmen, Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, and delivery people knocking on your door.

You see new people every week of your life. And you don’t even realize it.

“But... but... surely nobody is attracted to some random stranger?”

I first saw my boyfriend on public transportation and felt romantic attraction almost immediately. I had a friend give a random book store employee her number, because she found him that attractive. And back in my bus-taking days, three strangers asked me for my number. I know it’s hard to believe, but feeling attraction on first sight is an actual thing that happens!

Trust me. Even if you “don’t get out much,” you can still call yourself ace.

#asexual #ace #acespec #original posts #queue

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writer-monster · 3 years

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11 reasons why cap 4 should reintroduce Bucky Barnes as the love interest, an essay

to start this off, i am not writing this essay from a shipping place nor do i believe that this would have any influence at all over the upcoming movie. i expect nothing. this is simply something that i would personally like to see. (of course no hate to anybody who thinks differently)

here are 11 reasons why i think making Bucky into Sam Wilson's love interest in Cap 4 would be a good move for Disney.

1. on the Chinese film market - and why it's an irrelevant argument against the inclusion of homosexual themes in Cap 4

the Chinese film market is something that has been blamed for a lack of diversity in Hollywood films a lot lately. many people claim that this market with a lot of buying power has been responsible for the lack of gay and black representation in particular within Hollywood films.

and we have certainly seen Hollywood treating it as such, going so far as to cut gay scenes from movies for their Chinese releases, and vastly minimising John Boyega's (a black actor's) presence in the Chinese poster of Star Wars The Force Awakens.

[image ID: on the left is an image of the American poster for Star Wars The Force Awakens, featuring John Boyega prominently on the right-hand side. And on the right is the Chinese poster for the same movie, in which John Boyega is barely visible.]

so we know at the very least that Disney believes this through their own actions and efforts to self-censor for the different markets.

but Captain America 4 is a black-led movie, don't you forget. and Disney can't minimise Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie in the movie or the poster because it's his movie and his poster. and no amount of creativity in the editing room can change that (thank God!).

so if by their own argument the film is already going to be either banned, panned or slammed in China... then what do they have to fear from making it a gay movie too?

2. oh, the queerbaiting

queerbaiting is an unusual cultural idea. and sometimes i find myself thinking that the term is far too easily used, but then all of a sudden i will stumble upon a movie or show that is so quintessentially cruel and overt in it's... well... queerbaiting that i will start to wonder what the hell kind of a bizarre relationship all these straight people seem to have with their friends. take Troy and Abed from Community or John and Sherlock from Sherlock as the perfect examples of this. (in which my reaction to the show's creators saying the show wasn't gay was to ask so then why did you make it so gay?!)

i felt that Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in tfatws were getting quite close to this level of queerbaiting.

there was the field scene, the couple's counselling scene, the boat scene, the couple's counselling scene, Bucky going with Sam to face Karli when she told Sam to come alone, the couple's counselling scene, ALL the staring scenes, Sam checking out Bucky's ass here as they said goodbye, the "i would move in with him but" hidden scene, "Uncle Bucky" showing up at the cookout scene, the romantic walking off together into the sunset together ending scene, and the couple's counselling scene. did i forget anything? but i mean seriously, the couple's counselling scene!!! that thing they did with their legs and their crotches while staring deep into each other's eyes, would any straight guy willingly do that? do straight guys crotch-snuggle now?

[image ID: an image of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes during the therapy scene with the quote, "Isn't anybody going to drag me into impromptu couple's therapy and slot my legs firmly between theirs before staring deeply into my eyes?"]

(yeah i stole this image from a buzzfeed article on the fan reactions to the couple's therapy scene. but given that they stole 80% of the content of that article from fandom tumblr, i think it's pretty even-steven.)

there's also the fact that people started talking about bisexual Bucky Barnes a lot after the tiger pictures line, and the lead writer Malcom Spellman responded to the talk of Bucky's bisexuality with "just keep watching". well we watched, Malcolm. but it's beginning to feel like you were just jerking us around.

3. the writing

seriously though, what else is Bucky Barnes doing right now in the MCU? his only remaining connection to anything going on right now is through Sam. there is literally nothing else established that's left for him to do that doesn't involve Sam. he moved to Louisiana to be closer to Sam (canonically), he hangs out with Sam's family (canonically), and Steve is presumably gone and is definitely not coming back for more adventures.

he has no villains or loose ends left. he has no other superheroes that he appears to be in contact with. he has no girlfriend or potential love interest, or even other friends or family. he is living in a tent that he has secretly set up in Sam's backyard and is mysteriously appearing from the bushes when it's time for dinner like a stray cat.

in my opinion there is no other meaningful and pre-established progression for Bucky's character that wouldn't just feel cheap.

plus, i don't think the general audience would be all that surprised if they kissed. i think a LOT of people picked up on all that tension. i think a lot of straight people picked up on all that tension too.

4. the chemistry between the actors & the chemistry between the characters

the original pitch for tfatws was essentially just this, it was the chemistry between Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and their respective MCU characters of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

now obviously Anthony and Sebastian are simply friends, and i wouldn't mean to imply anything more. but they are also not their characters.

Sam and Bucky's scenes together before tfatws were both limited and short, and yet audiences still fell in love with the dynamic between the two characters.

in interviews, these two actors are constantly slipping into character and flirting with each other and frankly it's adorable. plus it's really entertaining. i'd love to see that dynamic, unfiltered, in a movie.

because believe it or not the flirting is actually even more open in their interviews than it was in tfatws. and i'm leaving some links as proof.

this here is known as the "married" compilation

and here's a "lucky dip" selection of interviews - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

and here's Anthony trying to get Seb to take his jacket off.

i'm just saying, why not let their chemistry shine? these two are so talented and so entertaining, especially when you put them in a room together. and can you imagine how absolutely hilarious and brilliant it would be to watch them navigate being a couple?

(and for those who bring up the "friends would be uncomfortable pretending to be dating" argument, i'm not here asking for a sex scene or anything. i don't think anyone would expect them to show any more intimacy (physical or emotional) while playing a couple than what they've already shown together in say... tfatws or in their own interviews. not that i actually expect anything regardless.)

5. if they were a man and a woman they would've gotten together in tfatws

i have no more to add here. just that... yeah, they would've.

6. and i'm not talking about the comics here, i'm talking about the MCU.

i understand fully that none of what i'm saying here falls in line with these characters from the comics. but the mcu itself doesn't fall much in line with the comics either, and these two characters especially are very different from their comics counterparts.

i'm not asking for these two to get together in the comics. tbh i don't think that it would work.

but the mcu Sam and Bucky are different and closer than their comics counterparts. they've got different histories, different backstories, and a very different dynamic. please rest assured that i am only talking about them in the mcu.

7. Bucky Barnes is believably bisexual. and Sam Wilson has never been proven to be straight in the mcu, nor has he had a love interest.

(now please continue to keep in mind that these points only stand for the mcu versions of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson, and not at all for their comics counterparts.)

Sam Wilson has never had a love interest, which is crazy because have you seen that man! he has had two blink and you'll miss it moments of verbal expression of attraction to women, both in TWS. and that's the extent of it, through his entire history in the mcu.

Bucky Barnes has had a number of surface-level female love interests, but none of them even came close to the level of connection and chemistry that Bucky shares with Sam.

and i'm sorry SarahBucky fans, but i just don't think there's very much to their relationship either. i love Sarah, i really do. but it's Sam who shares all the meaningful moments and history and chemistry with Bucky. and i don't see what making her into a love interest would do for Sarah's character either, what would that add to her story?

[Picture ID: Bucky at the cookout with Sam, Sarah, Cass and AJ. Bucky and Sam are looking at each other and smiling.]

and also there is the whole tiger pictures thing... again. which does strongly suggest that Bucky is bisexual whether this was intentional on behalf of the writers or not.

8. it's representation... AND it feels natural

marvel hasn't had a lot of queer representation that's been noticeably present in the MCU at the time of writing this.

there have been a lot of failures so far, from the bisexual erasure of Valkyrie in Thor Ragnarok to the wlw erasure in Black Panther.

there was queerbaiting almost identical to the bisexual Bucky baiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. when asked if he had considered featuring a gay hero in gotg2, director James Gunn stated that "We might have already done that. I say, watch the movie." after the movie's release audiences were understandably confused about the lack of queer representation. To which the director followed up his comments with, "But we don't really know who's gay and who's not. It could be any of them."

there is also Loki, considered by most fans after the airing of his six episode series on Disney+ to be both a poor attempt at both genderfluid representation and bisexual representation. with both attempts being summed up fairly well by the term "blink-and-you'll-miss-it". (also it's just terribly written and Loki doesn't wear any interesting clothes! fanficcers are a Goddamn blessing in this hard time!)

and let us not forget that Andrew Garfield was apparently FIRED for pushing for a bisexual spiderman. a bisexual spiderman within an interracial mlm relationship no less.

so for all these failures, marvel, why not allow us queer fans this? two brilliant and heroic men in a loving interracial relationship. two heroes that we can look up to.

now, one of the biggest detractions from the argument for representation is the idea of "forced diversity". and some poorly written characters certainly do end up feeling forced into the narrative. take Iceman in the comics for example, with Jean Grey just straight up suddenly telling him he's gay. like, marvel, sweetie, that's not how this works! and i don't know a lot of queer people who thought much of that "representation".

but the crux of the "forced diversity" argument is almost always that it feels unnatural within the story, right? and i don't think that anyone could say that about MCU Sam and Bucky ending up together, given these characters' existing chemistry and their history. they've both played characters in gay relationships before so we know that it's not outside of either actor's wheelhouse. and y'all know that Anthony and Seb can act, people. if it's in the script i believe that they'll make it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

9. it'd be a nice change

there's been an ongoing meme lately about "Disney's first gay character", the joke being that they continually announce gay characters without really ever including gay characters in their films.

this is to the point where Disney has formed a reputation amongst queer audiences of being homophobic.

if Sam and Bucky were to become a couple, then Disney could have its first actual gay character within a gay relationship. AND have him be in the lead of his own movie, no less.

it's also worth keeping in mind that there's likely an overlap between the people who were outraged by a Sam Wilson Captain America, and the people who'd be outraged by a gay Captain America. and if they were already not seeing the film, then i don't think much is gonna change that.

queer audiences would definitely love it, and the media attention would be guaranteed to be huge. i mean, simply look at the amount of media attention mere rumours of a character's queerness gets you and multiply that by a canon confirmation of said rumours.

but i'm pretty sure that Disney already knows this.

10. and yet, in truth, it's not about the representation

in truth i've never felt that i had any trouble relating to characters of any sexual orientation, race, gender, sex, body type, etc. (although that is not to throw any shade at all on people who do wish to see themselves represented) but for me, i think it's more about the story than the packaging.

and yet, a love story is still just a story. straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial. when two characters have chemistry and history and have sacrificed for each other time and time again, and they also can't keep their hands or their eyes off each other, then i'm pretty sure that that's a love story.

straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial, it shouldn't be about these simple labels. it should be about how well written the relationship is. it should be about chemistry, and history, and sacrifice.

because i'm fucking sick of all the hollow, forced romances in media no matter the genders of the participants. i'm sick of lazily written, shallow relationships where any two people sharing the same space for any extended period of time will simply fall in love. it's boring, it's repetitive, and as a writer myself it drives me up the wall!

romance stories suck! and everyone knows that romance stories suck. between twilight, and most of the entire YA genre, and love triangles (so boring), and romance used as poorly-written throwaway subplots in Hollywood movies, the world is in agreement that the romance in western media is simply dreadful. and yet we still want love stories. it's an entire genre that sits at the heart of the human experience (<3), and yet one which so few of today's best known writers seem truly able to capture.

i don't think that i'm the only one who feels this way, either. i suspect it's actually a large part of why fandom is so romance-centred in the first place, that we're all just starving for a good love story.

(btw i think fandom has a reputation for being something that as a whole that it is not. it has this reputation for straight up demanding things and harassing people until they get their way. while unfortunately there are a few people who do this, they're fucking annoying and i swear that they're far from the majority.

in my experience fandom is mostly about writing a five thousand word story at three am while drunk off your ass because it might make someone whom you've never met smile, editing it in the cold light of day, and then posting it. expecting nothing. sometimes getting nothing. and sometimes getting someone send you kudos or a comment so heartbreakingly wonderful that it makes you smile in return.)

11. so once again, it is all about the writing.

i want to see Sam and Bucky get together in the mcu, not because they would be a gay couple but because i genuinely believe that their story has potential to be an amazing love story.

and i know the mcu isn't about the romance. it's why in my personal opinion we haven't gotten a lot of good canon romances besides Peter Quill and Gamora. and i don't think that the mcu should be all about the romance either. i fucking love the action and the fighting scenes. i love the comedy. Captain America: The Winter Soldier had no romance and it was a fucking treasure, it was an amazing spy-action-thriller and it made my little gay heart dance. Thor Ragnarok had no romance, and it was an utterly brilliant comedic spectacle action film. not every movie needs romance.

but mcu Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were doing couple's therapy and fixing a boat and walking off into the sunset together in tfatws. they were inseparable on the battlefield. they've got a dynamic. it's beautiful, it's romantic, and it's gold.

a budding relationship between them in the next movie would be a good way to explore both characters more without the narrative feeling too stilted and separate. at the end of tfatws, both Sam and Bucky fans found that their respective fave felt somewhat underutilised and that their characters were underexplored.

now, that problem would be even more difficult to remedy in a movie, because the plotline of a movie needs to be really tight to work (giggity). and we know that the central conflict of the movie is gonna be action-based (which is good), but we still need each character's personal journey and growth to tie into the main conflict. (which is another issue that some fans found with tfatws, that these characters didn't really feel connected to the action-based plot on a more personal level.)

if Sam and Bucky are already in a relationship, however, this whole dynamic changes. first, their relationship has already been set up for nicely since TWS and through tfatws and they would officially be the best-fleshed-out couple in the mcu. but most importantly, a relationship gives them a perfect vehicle to explore both of their pasts comparatively and connect them personally to the action-based plot.

do you want to establish that Sam is a little too trusting and naïve? then establish this through his relationship with Bucky, and through showing his placing his trust in Bucky. (rather than through having him sympathise with a villain who threatened to murder his sister and his nephews).

perhaps you want to show Bucky recovering from his trauma? show us how comfortable he is with Sam. they get along, they're enjoying each other's presence, we see more of Sam's life and of his family, and then let Bucky tell Sam something that's raw and dark and honest about his life as The Winter Soldier. something about a memory, one that he only just recalled. he's opening up. and maybe what he tells Sam is even something that sets up the future action-based conflict, to ground that in something real.

you want to explore that Sam has trauma too? do this through Bucky. he tells Bucky a story about his time in the military. in the form of a flashback, he shares his own story of loss to evoke before the audience the shared theme of feeling at fault even when you're simply a helpless bystander to an act of pure destruction.

then, action sequence! and it's directly connected to Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. explore the grief of someone whose life the Winter Soldier tore apart manifesting into a villain perpetuating the cycle of pain. establish your villain.

Later, Sam is dragged into battle against this villain for protecting Bucky. But Bucky doesn't want Sam to protect him. He feels guilt for what he can't control and he doesn't want Sam getting hurt because of him. Bucky reminds Sam that he has a family, one who needs him and who loves him. He tells him to go home.

Sam reminds Bucky that he's a part of that family. And that sure Sam's a hero and his job is to protect anyone and everyone, but that he's doing it because he wants to. It's not simply to prove that he can, or to prove that he's not a bystander (this connects to Sam's trauma here), but that he's doing it to help people.

and this gets Bucky thinking about who he is and what he's doing here. is he a hero who stands by Sam's side? or is he an ordinary man who stands aside? or perhaps, does he stand alone? what does he stand for? Maybe Sam knows. But does Bucky?

Sam and Bucky fight off the villain again, and for the first time Bucky meets this adversary face to face. And Bucky recognises this villain, and has a flashback to the genuine pain that he inflicted upon them in the form of the Winter Soldier. Bucky freezes mid-fight, he almost dies, and Sam has to save him.

Sam chews Bucky out for almost getting killed because he was afraid for him. but Bucky takes this the wrong way and goes off to fight the villain alone, or perhaps to die alone, he's not quite sure.

He puts up a half-hearted fight. He apologises for what the Winter Soldier has done, and he waits for the killing blow, when Sam swoops down and he saves him. He asks Sam why he saved him and Sam calls him a moron. And then, Sam asks him what sacrificing himself would solve. He tells him that you can't choose your past but you can choose your future (connecting to his own experience of loss and guilt and grief). And that no matter what Bucky Barnes still has a future, whether that's as the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or just some dork with a day job. And that he has a future as a part of Sam's family too.

Sam fights the villain, and it's toe to toe. He delivers a few good blows, but receives a fair few himself. And then the villain tears off his wings, first one and then the other, in a manner reminiscent of what the Winter Soldier did to him in TWS. Through Bucky's eyes there's a flashback to highlight the parallels. Sam gets back on his feet and he fights his best fight, but is now losing.

And then the heavily injured Bucky steps up and fights by Sam's side, and only together do they take down the villain.

"So... I inspired you, huh?" Sam teases with a smile, utterly exhausted. "With my heroism and-"

"You inspired me." Bucky said, equally exhausted. "Let's leave it at that."

Together, Sam and Bucky go back to the safety and warmth of their family. Sam fixes his wings. Sam goes back to being Captain America. And Bucky... he's around, but it's unclear what he's doing.

That is, until the very end. When Sam is in a fight, and suddenly Bucky shows up and helps him out.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I've made up my mind." Bucky says. "I'm the Winter Soldier. But now I'll save lives, Sam. Now, like you, I'll be a hero."

Sam smirks. "So does this make you my sidekick, then?"

Bucky smiles. "C'mon, at least make me a partner." He says.

"How about co-workers." Sam says (in flashback, he remembers back to the death of his last on-the-job partner).

"How about friends." Bucky says, with a wry look.

"Bucky... I don't want to see you put your dumbass self in danger." Sam says.

"Oh, and it's ok for you to go running off into danger on your own all the time?" Bucky asks.

"Yes." Sam says stubbornly. "Absolutely it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass?!"

"Sam, if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back for the rest of time... then you're the biggest dumbass I know. And I don't care if you need me or not, I will be there for you."

"Because Sam, you're more than Captain America. You're more than a good soldier. You're a good man. And I think sometimes, the world forgets what the difference is."

...or something like that.

(i only spent like 15 minutes on that. you know if i were actually writing this movie i would come up with something much better. and if anyone from marvel is seeing this, yes i can come work for you. i will make the time, let's do this thing right!)

finale

at the end of the day, whether or not the mcu chooses to make Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes a couple, it's their decision. and they don't owe me anything.

i'm just some random person on the internet. who thinks that Captain America 4 should #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend

#givecaptainamericaaboyfriend #meta #analysis #captain america 4 #caatws #fatws #tfatws #captain america #cap 4 #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #marvel #mcu #mcu phase 4

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scorpionyx9621 · 3 years

Note

Do you think Jason Todd fandom is kinda toxic? Because it seems like NO MATTER what DC do, there'll always be complains. Forget the bad adaptation like Titans. Even Judd Winick cannot escape the criticism with how he potrayed Robin!Jason. They just never satisfied.

SORRY, IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS. I just moved from Washington D.C. to Seattle, which, for my non-American friends, that's 4442km away. And I DROVE THERE ALL BY MYSELF. And now I'm trying to find new work in a new city and trying to stay mentally healthy and positive. Life is exciting but hard and scary.

*sighs*

As someone who was a fandom elder with V*ltr*n. I've seen some of the worst when it comes to fandom behavior. I'm talking people baking food with shaving razors and trying to give them to the showrunners. I'm talking leaking major plot details and refusing to take it down unless they make their ship canon (I am looking at you, Kl*nce stans) For the most part, DC Comics has had a decades-long reputation of treating their fans like trash and not caring what they think so from what I've seen, we all just grumble and complain in our corners of the internet about how we don't like how X comic portrays Jason Todd.

The challenge with Jason Todd is that he's your clinical anti-hero, the batfamily's Draco in Leather Pants, he's a jerkass woobie, and on top of all of that, he's a Tumblr sexyman. It's a perfect storm for a very fun but frustrating character to be a fan of. It doesn't help that every writer decides to re-invent the wheel every time Jason comes up so his canon lore is confusing at best and inconsistent as a standard.

I guess starting with a general brief on who Jason is and what is uniform about him with every instance he's appeared in comics/media.

Grew up in a poor family in Gotham with a dad who was a petty-mid-level criminal, and a mother who dies of a drug overdose.

Survives on the street on his own by committing petty crimes and potentially even engaging in sexual acts to keep himself alive.

Is cornered by Batman and taken in after Dick Grayson quits/is fired

Becomes the second Robin, but is known for being the harsher, more brutal Robin.

Is killed by Joker after being tortured, but somehow comes back to life and regains senses through the Lazarus Pit

Resolves himself to be better than Batman by basically being Batman but kills people.

Where there has been a lot of conflict in the fandom is the fact that Jason Todd is not a character that is written consistently. DC Comics loves to go with the narrative that Jason was "bad from the start" and was the "bad robin" when, yes, he has trouble controlling his anger, but he also still is just as invested in seeing the best of Gotham City and trying to be a positive change for the world as any other DC Comics hero.

Where I get frustrated with the fandom is its ability to knit-pick every detail of a comic they don't like while completely disregarding everything that makes the comics great and worth it to read. My example being Urban Legends. To which most people had pretty mixed reactions to. I was critical of the comic at first but as it went along I ended up really liking it. I have a feeling DC Comics went to Chip Zdarsky and told him he had 6 issues to bring Jason back into the Bat Family, and honestly he didn't do a bad job. Did it feel rushed? Absolutely. I wish there was more development of Jason and Bruce's characters and their dynamic as a whole. However, where I see a lot of people being angry and upset with Urban Legends is that they feel Zdarsky needlessly wrote Jason as an incompetent fool who needs Bruce to save him.

Whether or not that was the intention of Zdarsky is up to debate. However, and this may be controversial, but I don't think he wrote Jason Todd out of character at all. For as fearsome, intimidating, and awesome as Red Hood is. Jason is a character who is absolutely driven by his emotions. Why do you think he donned the role of Red Hood? As a response to his anger towards The Joker for killing him, and towards Bruce for not taking action against The Joker and for seemingly replacing him so quickly after he died. Jason didn't care about being the murderous Robin Hood or for being the bloody hammer of justice against N*zi's and P*d*ph*les. He only cared originally about making The Joker and Bruce pay. It wasn't until he trained under the best assassins in the world and realized most of them were horrific criminals who trafficked children and were p*dos that Talia began to realize that the teachers that she sent Jason to train under started dying horrific and painful deaths.

The entire story of the Cheer story in Batman Urban Legends was started because it finally forced some consequences upon Jason. Tyler, aka Blue Hood's father was a drug dealer who gave his supply to his wife and kids. And when Tyler's father admitted he gave the drugs to Tyler, it immediately made him fall within the self-imposed philosophical kill-list of Jason Todd. And Jason, well, he proceeds to kill Tyler's father. When this happens, Jason is in shock. Tyler's dad fit the bill to easily and justifiably be killed by Jason. We've never seen Jason having to deal with the consequences of being a murderous vigilante on a micro-level. When Jason realizes what he's done in that he's murdered Tyler's dad, he's shocked. He tells Babs the truth. He does a rational thing because he's in shock. He doesn't know what to do, he never has had to face the consequences of his actions as Red Hood and now the gravity of befriending a child as a vigilante hero who kills people just set in when he killed the father of the same child he was just introduced to.

(Oh here's a little aside because it had to be said, Jason would not have been a good father or a good mentor to Tyler and absolutely should not have been his new Robin. Jason is a man who is in his early 20's (not saying men in their early 20's can't be good fathers at all) who is a brutal serial killer using the guise of a vigilante anti-hero to let him escape most of the law. the complications of having the man who murdered your father adopt you and make you his sidekick are way too numerous for me to explain in a long-winded already heavy Tumblr essay post. There's a reason why we don't advocate for a story where Joe Chill adopted Bruce Wayne or one where Tony Zucco took in Dick Grayson.)

The next biggest argument is that they feel that Jason is giving up his guns as a means to just be invited back into the Bat-Family. To which I will tell anyone who has that argument to go actually read Urban Legends. Already have and still have that argument? Please re-read it. Don't want to? That's okay, I will paste the images from the comic where Jason specifically says that he doesn't want to give up his weapons for Bruce and his real reasoning down below since the comic isn't exactly readily accessible.

Jason gave up the guns because he felt the gravity of what he had done and knows how it'll effect Tyler. Thankfully his mom is alive and in recovery. But Tyler doesn't have a father anymore. And Jason killed Tyler's father. It may have been in accordance to Jason's philosophy, but it was a case where it blurred the lines. Jason Todd isn't a black and white character, just very dark gray. He doesn't kill aimlessly like the Joker. If you are on Jason's list you probably have done something pretty horrific, and also just in general, being in his way or being a threat to him. Mind you, in early days of Red Hood and the Outlaws (Image below) Jason almost killed 10 innocent civilians in a town in Colorado all because they saw him kill a monster. That being said, Jason isn't aimless in his kills.

(Also can we just take a moment to appreciate Kenneth Rocafort's art? DC Comics said we need to rehabilitate Jason Todd's image and Kenneth Rocafort said hold my beer: It's so SO GOOD)

That being said, the key emphasis in the story of Cheer asides from trying to introduce Jason Todd back into the Bat Family and give an actual purpose for him being there, other than him just kind of being there ala Bowser every time he shows up for Go Kart racing, Tennis, Golf, Soccer, and the Olympic games when Mario invites him, is that Jason and Bruce ultimately both want the same thing. Jason wants to be welcomed back into the family and to be loved and appreciated. Bruce want's Jason back as his son and wants to love and protect Jason. Both of these visions are shown in the last chapter of Cheer while under the effect of the Cheer Gas. It's ultimately this love and appreciation they both have for each other that helps them overcome their challenge and win.

Jason Todd is a character who, just like Bruce, has been through so much pain and so much hate in his life. The two are meant to parallel each other. While Bruce chose to see the best in everyone, giving every rogue in his gallery the option to be helped and give them a second chance, hence why he never kills, Jason has a similar view on wanting to protect the public, but he understands that some crimes are so heinous they cannot be forgiven, or that some habitual criminals are due to stay habitual criminals, and need to be put down. But at the end of the day, the two of them both try to protect people in their own ways.

I am aware that through the writings of various DC Comics authors such as Scott Lobdell and Judd Winick, the two have had a very tumultuous relationship. And rightfully so, I am by no means saying that Scott Lobdell writing an arc where Bruce literally beats Jason to within an inch of his life in Red Hood and the Outlaws, nor Judd Winick's interpretation of Under the Red Hood where Bruce throws the Batarang at Jason's neck, slicing his throat and leaving him ambiguously for dead at the end of the comic is appropriate considering DC Comics seems to be trying everything they can to integrate Jason back into the family. That being said, a lot of these writings have shaped the narrative of Jason and Bruce's relationship and have an integral effect on the way the fandom views the two. It doesn't help that Zdarsky acknowledged Lobdell's life-beating of Jason by Bruce at the very end of Cheer by having Bruce give Jason his old outfit back as a means of mending the fence between the two of them. That does complicate a lot of things in terms of how they are viewed by the fandom and helps to cause an even greater divide between the two.

Regardless, I want to emphasize the fact that Jason Todd is a part of the family of his own accord. Yes, he's quite snarky and deadpan in almost every encounter. However, Jason is absolutely a part of the family and has been for a while of his own will. There's a great moment in Detective Comics that emphasizes this. Jason cares about his family because it is his found family. Yes, they may be warry about him and use him as a punching back and/or heckle him. At the end of the day, we're debating the family dynamics of a fictional playboy billionaire vigilante whose kleptomania took the form of adopting troubled children and turning them into vigilante heroes. Jason Todd wants a family that will love and support him. This is a key definition of his character at its most basic. This was proven during the events of Cheer and is being reenforced by DC Comics every time they get the opportunity to do so.

Now, none of this is to say that I hate Judd Winick. I do not, I don't like the fact that in all of his writings of Jason, he just writes him as a dangerous psychopath, and Winick himself admits to seeing Jason as nothing much more than a psychopath. Yet Winick is the one who the majority of the fandom clings to as the one true good writer of Jason Todd because 'Jason was competent, dangerous, smart' Listen, friends, Jason is all of that and I will never deny it. However, what I love about Jason isn't that he's dangerously smart of that writers either write him as angsty angry Tumblr sexyman bait or that they write him as an infantile man child with a gun. There's a large contention of this fandom that has an obsession with Jason Todd being this vigilante gunman who is hot and sexy and while I definitely get the appeal. It is very creepy and downright disturbing that all of you hyperfixate on his use of guns and ability to be a murderer. It is creepy and I'm not necessarily here for it.

What I love about Jason Todd is that despite all of the pain, all of the heartache, all of the betrayal, and bullying, and death, and anguish. Jason Todd is one of the most loving and supportive characters in all of DC Comics. Jason has been through so much in his life, but he still chooses to love. He still chooses to see the bright side in people. Yes, he takes a utilitarian approach and chooses to kill certain villains, but at the end of the day he wants to see a better world, and he wants to be loved. It takes so much courage and so much heart to learn to love again after one has been abused or traumatized. I would not blame Jason at all if he said fuck it and just went full solo and vigilante evil. He has every right to, but he still chooses to be with the Bat Family of his own accord. That's something that I see a lot of in myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and yet I try to be a better person myself in any way that I can. It is extremely admirable of Jason to allow love back into his heart when he really doesn't need to. He kills and he protects because he has this love of society. It may have been shaped by anger and hatred, but Jason has found his place amongst people who love him and value him. I think Ducra, from Red Hood and the Outlaws put it best in the image given below.

To end this tangent, I love Jason Todd and all of his sexy dangerousness, but it's far more than that. As much as Jason may be dangerous and snarky, he loves his family without a shadow of a doubt. I look up to Jason Todd because despite all of his pain and all of his trauma, he still choses to love. Jason Todd is a character who is someone I love because despite all of his flaws and having a very toxic fandom, he still serves as a character filled with so much heart and so much passion. I wish more writers would understand that. But for now I will live with what I have. Even though the fandom may be vocal about it's hatred for his characterization, I choose to love Jason regardless because he is a character who chooses love and acceptance regardless of his pain. Jason Todd is by no means a good person in any sense of the word. He has easily killed upwards of 100 people by now. He is a character who is flawed and complex but ultimately is one who powers forwards and finds love and heart in a place from so much pain and anguish. That is what I love about Jason Todd. After all, to quote a famous undead robot superhero, "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Jason Todd chooses to love despite all of the trauma and pain and grief. Yes, he is hardened in his exterior, but inside there is a man with a lot of love to give and someone who deserves the world in my eyes.

#Long post GOD #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Bat Family #Batman #red hood and the outlaws #RHATO #RH:O #Batman Urban Legends #Red Hood Lost Days #TW Voltron #TW Death #tw murder #TW Klance #Gotta love how i am pouring my heart out onto jason AND calling out the Voltron fandom #Regardless love Jason Todd people

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wonder-womans-ex · 3 years

Text

See It In Your Eyes

The sequel to ‘Cause Boy I was Made for You

When Finn O'Hara was eleven years old, he got two things for Christmas: an Iron Man action figure and a telling off. There were probably other things, too, but in ten years (or eleven, or twelve, or even thirty for that matter) he wouldn't be able to remember them.

But the action figure had been the one he'd eyed in the toy store window for the past seven months, and the telling off had been from his Aunt Isla.

"There are two things you must never ask a lady," she had scolded. "Her age, and to see the mark on her wrist. Remember that, Finnegan."

(For the record, he hadn't asked to see her wrist. He had asked her to pass him the stuffing, and he'd said "What's that?" when her sleeve got bunched up around her elbow.) (Not like she cared.)

***

When Logan Tremblay was eleven years old, he nearly broke his jaw. One of the boys on his team tied his shoelaces together after practice and he fell and smashed his face on the locker room bench.

After three and a half hours in the ER, he met his own eyes in the bathroom mirror, cheek swollen comically huge, and thought, don’t let it get to you, even though it already had.

***

When Leo Knut was eleven years old, he got his first job. Sure, it was only a paper route, but to Leo, it was everything. Not only was he making money (real, actual money; his dad couldn’t tell him his Monopoly skills were just pure luck anymore) but he was the first in his family to learn anything interesting. One morning, halfway through his rounds, he flipped to the sports page. The words Local Team Manager Loses Job over Sexuality glared up at him.

At lunchtime, when his parents asked about the news lately, he merely shrugged and took another bite of his taco.

***

When Finn O’Hara was fifteen years old, he fell in love for the first time. Not with a person, no, but no one could deny that he was in love—by the fourth rewatch of Mamma Mia, his mother was resigned to promising him extra dessert if he would please, for the love of God, just sing anything else.

***

When Logan Tremblay was fifteen years old, he and his sister Noelle woke up at five in the morning on April Fool’s to rig their house. Noelle, admittedly, was behind most of it, but Logan came up with five spectacular (if he did say so himself) pranks: baking soda in the cereal and vinegar in the milk, which caused his father’s breakfast to fizz and explode the moment he poured it out; semi-permanent hair dye in his mother’s shampoo (her hair kept the blue tint for almost a month); all the hard-boiled eggs in the fridge swapped out for raw ones and vice versa; glue in his father’s shaving cream; and, just because he felt like it, all the toilet paper in the house hidden in the downstairs freezer. The day was a bright spot in a patch of darkness—it had been only a week before that he had found the tumblr post about anxiety symptoms and thought, maybe…

***

When Leo Knut was fifteen years old, he quit baseball—for good this time. His coach was confused as to why anyone would give up an 84 mph fastball and a glove that could catch any pop fly in favour of the ice, but Leo was sure. Hockey was his destiny. The pitcher’s mound had nothing to offer him, not anymore.

***

When Finn O’Hara was eighteen years old, he met Logan Tremblay. His first thought—though he would not accept it until years later—was, He has very nice lips. I would like to kiss them. His second, mere moments later, was, Wait shit no fuck no dammit shit fuck.

***

When Logan Tremblay was eighteen years old, he began to wonder who his soulmate was. Maybe she would have coffee-brown eyes and a gap between her front teeth, the perfect height for him to rest his chin on top of her head. Maybe she would be taller, with wide hips and sharp elbows and long eyelashes.

He tried to shake his fantasies of fiery red hair and gorgeous grins, because Logan was a hockey player and hockey players weren’t queer.

***

Leo Knut is eighteen years old, and he is being pulled down a dimly lit hallway by Finn O’Hara. His wrist is warm beneath Finn’s grasp, his heart beating a little too fast for his liking.

“Where are we going?” Logan asks from his place at the end of Finn’s other arm, but he gets no answer.

Finally, they reach what Leo assumes is their destination: the…. Well, Leo isn’t sure where they are, actually. Some sort of storage room, he guesses, judging by the net in the corner.

He still has no idea why they’re there.

Logan is looking at Finn expectantly, a curious expression on his face. He looks like he knows what’s happening, and the thought bites at Leo’s heart. Great—he’s the only clueless one here.

Finn takes a deep breath, and then another. “Hi,” he begins, and then stops.

Not sure which of them he should look at, Leo focuses on a spot on the wall between Logan’s and Finn’s heads. He senses one of them watching him. He doesn’t check which it is.

“So,” Finn tries again. “Ugh. I’m bad at this.”

“What exactly is ‘this’?” Logan’s brow, when Leo sneaks a glance at him, is furrowed, only a sliver of green eyes visible beneath his squint.

There’s a thunk as Finn lets his head fall back against the wall. “This is me finally deciding to man up and tell you I’m in love with you.”

Leo’s head turns to look at Logan so fast his neck hurts. He sees Logan blink once, and then twice.

***

Finn meets Logan’s eyes. He can practically feel the electricity crackling between them.

Because Logan knows.

He has to.

He has to know that Finn’s heart nearly beats out of his chest every time Logan smiles. He has to know that sometimes he’ll be talking to someone, anyone—Cap, or Coach Weasley, or the press—and he’ll think about Harvard and he’ll forget how to breathe. Logan is half of Finn’s heart.

But whether or not Logan knows it, the look on his face says he feels the same. Finn feels his lips start to curve into a smile.

And then Leo says, “Why am I here, then?”

There are a hundred ways Finn could answer that question. One of them is ‘Why wouldn’t you be?’ and another is ‘I don’t know.’ He could be passionate. He could be tactful. He could be poetic or blunt or gentle or any of those things.

What he goes with, in the end, is philosophical.

“Who decides it’s wrong?” Finn says to the floor. “Any of it. The feeling. The wanting. The having, even. If it’s real, then how can it be wrong?”

He can’t see Logan’s face, nor Leo’s, but he imagines they must be confused. He goes on, not entirely sure he knows what he’s saying and not entirely sure he cares. “And maybe it’s destiny. And maybe it isn’t. Why does it matter? If it’s real and painful and there for the taking, why bother about whether it’s supposed to be?”

Finally, he looks up. He senses that one of them is going to say something, and whichever it is, he cuts them off.

“Maybe it’s not you. Fuck, maybe it isn’t either of you, and maybe I’m the only one who thinks it should be. But it has to mean something, doesn’t it? Because if it doesn’t… why bother at all?”

And maybe, Finn thinks, I’m going to start crying.

***

Logan, mind still wheeling, is the only one who gets an inkling of what Leo is going to do before he does it. Finn certainly doesn’t, and he’s not quite sure Leo does either.

He grabs Finn by the collar and pulls him up, their faces smashing together, red and gold curls tangling between their foreheads. Logan watches them slowly break apart, far enough away to lock eyes, yet still so close they’re breathing into each other’s mouths. His heart surges—with jealousy, yes, but also with something fiery and sweet. Something akin to excitement, or—dare he say—love.

“Whoa,” he says out loud, not realizing it until Leo and Finn both glance over at him. His cheeks start to colour.

Then Leo places a hand on his shoulder and leans down to kiss him, too. This one is more gentle by far that the previous; a dance rather than a battle. It makes sense—Finn’s always been the brash one, the impulsive one, while Logan is tentative, sturdy—and it seems fitting that Leo is the one to remind them of that.

Logan still doesn’t know what they’re doing there.

Well, he knows what they’re doing, of course. They’re kissing. But he doesn’t know why Finn picked now to haul them halfway across Hogwarts arena and make it happen. Maybe if he really thought about it, something would come to him.

But of course he’s not going to think about it, because Leo is still kissing him.

When one of them finally pulls away—Logan isn’t sure who—Leo reaches one hand up and touches Logan’s lip. They stay there for a long moment, neither of them moving, before calloused fingers carefully skate across his waist. He turns towards Finn.

They surge forward together, meeting in the middle. One of Finn’s hands fists in Logan’s hair, the other slipping under his shirt, as they kiss for the first time in nearly four years.

He can taste salt. One of them is crying; it’s probably him.

When Logan starts to break away, desperate for air, Finn chases his mouth. Within a few seconds, though, he’s pulled back, too. It’s almost simultaneously that they remember there’s another person in the room.

Leo’s lip is between his teeth as he worries at it. He doesn’t speak for a long moment; the silence, before it shatters, if practically tangible. “You two have history,” he says, like it’s a question he already knows the answer to.

“We do,” Finn answers easily. There’s something fierce in his eyes. “But it’s the future that matters.”

Logan wishes Finn would stop sounding like Plato. Or Socrates. Or Aristotle. One of them, anyway. Finn is an American in his 20’s, not a 2000-something-year-old Greek. In any case, mystery is decidedly not Finn’s colour.

Leo shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What do you mean, then?”

“I mean you guys are—you’re practically—” he breaks off. One of his hands moves towards Logan, only stopping when it hovers mere centimetres from his wrist. “May I?”

“I—sure.” Logan’s heart skips a beat when their fingers brush. Leo gently turns his hand so Logan’s palm is up, and it’s not until Leo starts to push his sleeve away that Logan realizes what he’s doing.

But by then it’s too late—those three paw prints he spends so much time agonizing over are on display, no longer private, no longer just for him. For a split second, he considers covering his wrist again and leaving. But he does no such thing.

Because if he can’t trust Finn and Leo, he can’t trust anyone.

Finn’s mouth opens slightly in surprise. “It’s—” he says, and there’s barely any hesitation before he’s pulled his sleeve up, too.

It takes a moment before Finn’s soulmark registers in Logan’s mind. When he does, he starts to smile.

They’re soulmates.

***

Leo feels his jaw clench. He knows he should be happy for them—and he is, really. They’ll smile at each other, and they’ll kiss again, and they’ll go on with their lives as that one couple who are so in love it hurts to look at them.

He turns away when tears start to pool in his eyes. He’ll go back to the locker room; they obviously want to be alone right now. “I’ll just… yeah.”

Just as soon as he takes his first step towards the door, Finn grabs his arm. “Wait,” he says, and Leo stops.

“Logan and I are soulmates,” says Finn, all in one breath, “But there are three prints. Not two. And I know that it’s rare, but Re—but I’ve been told it’s possible. That it’s happened before.”

Leo thinks he knows, but he has to make sure. “Do you mean—do you think we’re—”

“I know you’re only eighteen,” Finn continues. “And I know there’s no way of knowing for a while. But does it matter? Even… even if I’m wrong? I love you—I love both of you—soulmates or not.”

Leo waits for one of the others to say something more. When neither does, he wonders why, and quickly comes to the conclusion that it’s because they’re waiting for him to say something.

“Who told you?” he asks the moment it pops into his head. It’s not the best thing he could say, but it’s not the worst, either.

“Told me what?”

“You said someone told you it was possible to have two soulmates. Who was it?”

There’s a pause as Finn cracks one of his knuckles, deep in thought. “Loops,” he whispers, but not until Leo has decided he’s not going to say anything at all. “I was talking to Loops yesterday, and I told him I thought… anyway, he said I should tell you.”

“You told him we’re soulmates?” Logan’s eyes are wide and fearful. “He knows we’re…?”

“Not you guys, no. Well, Leo, maybe. I just said you were both on the team, that’s all.”

“But you would have had to say something about my age,” Leo concludes, the dots starting to connect in his head. “And I’m the only one who’s not nineteen yet.”

“Yeah.”

Logan swallows, the almost comical gulp audible in the quiet room, and he crosses his arms over his chest. There’s something about the gesture, however, that tells Leo it’s an act of protection, not defiance. “He’s not going to… tell anyone, is he?”

“No. And if he doesn’t, I won’t.”

“What?” Leo thinks he might be missing something.

“He won’t tell anyone we’re… gay.” It’s the first time any of them have said it—that three-letter word that, in their profession, could ruin everything. “Because he has his own secrets. There’s a difference between being ashamed of something and wanting to keep it private.”

Logan’s eyes widen slightly. “You mean… we’re not the only ones?” His voice is incredulous, choked with emotion, and Leo reaches out a hand to him.

“I don’t think we ever were.”

***

Finn feels as though he’s floating. No—this is better than floating. This is dreaming. At any moment, he’s going to wake up staring at the ceiling of his bedroom with Leo asleep just a wall away. A mile away.

It’s like he’s watching, not experiencing, the way Logan’s fingers twine with Leo’s, love overflowing from the gaze they share. He’s imagining the kiss Logan leans forward to plant on his cheek. Leo’s arm wrapping itself around his shoulders is all in his head.

But it isn’t. Without having to speak, the three of them make their way out of the storage room and back into the hall—blond and brunet hand in hand, blond holding redhead so close it seems he’ll never let go. Finn leans into the warm body to his side, and he feels Leo stagger slightly as Logan does, too. They seem as though they would be perfect on the cover of a book, or a movie poster—Three’s Company, his mind provides, and he files it away just in case he ever decides he wants to sell the rights to his life story.

He’s a long way from that, though. After all, it’s been barely half an hour since they started to unravel this knot they’ve spent so long tangling themselves into, and right now all Finn needs to do is try his best to make sure they don’t get tied up again.

The locker room is almost abandoned. Pascal’s packing up the last of his stuff, and he smiles when they enter. Logan, for one, stiffens slightly in fear, but it doesn’t seem like there’s any need to. Indeed, the only thing Pascal says as he does up the zipper of his bag is, “Be good to him,” and none of them knows who he’s talking to, so they all nod.

Finn waits until they have the room to themselves to pull Logan close to him. “It’ll be okay,” he says. “I promise.”

“But if people find out—”

“Then we’ll have to deal with that—all of us will. But you don’t have to be afraid. The team’s family. And family means no one gets lost behind or forgotten.”

Logan nods, chewing his lower lip. It’s obvious when the gravity of Finn’s words clicks in his head—the expression on his face twists into one of confusion. “Wait a second—why does that sound familiar?”

“Because it’s from Lilo and Stitch.”

Swiveling his head towards Leo, Finn stage whispers, “Shhhhh!” This gets a smile out of Logan.

“I knew I’d heard it before somewhere. Shame on you, Finn—plagiarizing the words of an innocent blue alien!” He stops, blinking. “There’s something I never thought I’d say.”

Finn smiles. This is his life now. He thinks he’ll have a lot of fun getting used to it.

***

Skates swishing over the ice, Logan lets the world fall away. He stops thinking about everything—even Finn’s contagious laughter and Leo’s broad grin fade from his mind as he gets closer and closer to the goal.

Almost there, almost there—

He shoots. The puck whizzes past Kasey’s elbow, only barely missing him.

“Nice one, Tremblay!”

Moody is nodding in approval. Logan feels a rush of pride—it’s an easy, everyday drill, something he’s been able to do in his sleep since he was a kid, but praise is always a good thing. When he can’t have a cheering crowd, he might as well have a coach who admires his talents.

“Merci!” he says, beaming, and then, on second thought, adds, “I’d be surprised if it wasn’t!”

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Finn and Leo bump shoulders. His heart swells—they love each other, and he loves that they love each other. Somehow, he finds it hard to believe it’s only been a day since the storage room and the kissing and—

“Tremblay!” Logan is shocked back out of his thoughts by Coach Weasley’s (albeit slightly amused) shout. “Stop daydreaming and take another shot!”

“Yes, Coach.”

He’s sweating by the time he’s finally allowed to sit down again. He takes a swig of Gatorade, watching Finn try and sneak up behind him.

“Boo!”

“Hi, Fish.”

“Dammit.” Two red eyebrows lift and fall again. “How’d you know I was here?”

“I saw you. You’re not inconspicuous.”

“You don’t just love me so much you could sense me from halfway across the world?”

Logan can’t help it—he glances around furtively, heart pounding, hoping desperately that no one heard Finn’s comment. “Well, that, too,” he adds, once he’s sure everyone else is sufficiently distracted. “But mostly that ginger head of yours just sticks out like a sore thumb. I call you mon rouge for a reason, you know.”

“Fuck you.”

"Peut-être plus tard.”

“In English, please?”

“...Maybe later.”

“But I want to know now.”

(If only he knew.)

Logan feels giddy as he realizes they really do have time for ‘maybe later.’ They have time, and they’ve earned it. After all, it’s been a day. It’s been eight years.

It’s been forever.

***

It’s almost a year later that Leo wakes up in an empty bed. He yawns, stretches, arches his back and hears his joints pop. For a moment, he wonders where his boys—even now, the thought that they really are his boys makes him unbelievably happy—are.

Then he hears the voices from the kitchen. A smile spreads across his face at the exclamation of “Oh, shit!” and he swings his legs over the side of the bed, placing his feet on the floor and preparing for whatever disaster may greet him.

(Honestly, who thought letting Finn and Logan cook was a good idea?)

And true enough, the moment walks into the kitchen he’s greeted by two things: the grinning faces of his boyfriends, and the smell of smoke.

“What’s burning?”

“The bacon.”

“Of course it is.” He reaches over, taking the pan from Finn, and scrutinizes it. “Salvageable,” he declares, “But please never try to make anything other than instant ramen again.”

Logan nods sheepishly. “Sorry,” he says. “We just wanted to make you something special. Y’know, for your birthday.”

Right.

His birthday.

He’d actually forgotten about that.

He’s not sure how—it’s all he’s been able to think about for almost a month now it’s here and he knows all three of them have the same thing on their minds. Sure, he’s excited, but right now, he’s leaning a little more towards terrified. Today’s the day.

But he knows, when he lets a very real grin spread across his face, that they won’t pressure him. They know it’s his choice, and they’ll respect that. He has nothing to worry about except for the fact that the smoke detector is around six seconds away from going off.

“Here,” he instructs Logan, putting the frying pan down on the stove. “Grab the fan from the bathroom—the little portable one—and bring it in here if you don’t want the fire department racing lights-and-fucking-sirens down our street.”

“Oui.”

“Finn… just try not to set anything else on fire.”

The hustle and (incredibly mild, all considering) panic only lasts for a few minutes. Finally, Leo presses a kiss to the top of Logan’s head, ruffling Finn’s hair, and opens the fridge. “Thanks for the breakfast, by the way.”

“Anytime.”

“...Or not.”

They all laugh at this, and when Leo grabs the milk and pours out three glasses, he watches them. He sees Finn pull out Logan’s chair with an exaggerated bow, glancing over and smiling when he and Leo lock eyes.

It’s the classic movie dilemma. Will he, won’t he. Won’t he, will he.

He waits until they’re all seated to bring it up. In the meantime, he rubs his wrist through the long-sleeved shirt he wore to bed yesterday for this very reason. It meant he was warm last night, but at least he gets a choice this morning.

“So.”

Finn and Logan both look up. “Yeah, Peanut?” one of them asks—probably Finn, but Leo’s mind is too far away to give it much thought.

“Are we going to talk about it?”

This time, it’s definitely Logan who responds, shrugging and poking at his bacon before saying, “Do you want to?”

“I think so.”

Here Finn cuts in. “I only have one thing to say, and that’s that whatever’s on your wrist? It doesn’t change anything. You’re mine—you’re ours—no matter what. We don’t have to be soulmates to be in love.”

“I know that. I just… I used to feel like I was missing something, you know? It’s been ages since I did, but at the beginning I felt like this was your relationship, and I was just an extra part of it.”

“I… I didn’t know you felt that way.” Logan’s eyes are earnest, emotional. Leo thinks he might see tears there. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. No, really—I felt that way, sure, but I don’t anymore. I know you guys love me. That’s what matters. I’m just tired of having the ability to tell myself I don’t belong, and this… this is what confirms it either way.

“I want to know. I really do. But I can’t help being afraid of the answer.”

Finn opens his mouth to speak, but Logan beats him to it. “It’s your choice. Whatever you decide to do, we’re here for you. You can do it today, you can do it tomorrow, you can do it in a year, you can do it never. Je t’aime, mon amour. Toujours.”

Time seems to slow down in the instant it takes Leo to reach into the deepest recesses of himself to gather all the courage he can find, take a deep breath, and pull up his left sleeve. His hands are hidden under the table, so neither Logan nor Finn knows what’s happened until Leo’s face spreads into the widest smile he’s ever worn and a choked, happy sob escapes his lips.

He can see in both their eyes the instant they realize—Finn first, Logan following mere instants later—and he rubs a thumb over the golden print. Somehow, he knows that one’s his.

He’s already seen this mark a hundred thousand times, but it feels so much more real there on his skin, blue and golden and green and—

“Yeah.” They know what he means. He wants to shout it out loud, sing it boldly as he walks down the street, because they’re his soulmates, and the only thing that matters more than that is that they’re in love.

thanks to @peggyrose19 for betaing and @lumosinlove for the incredible characters <3

#o'knutzy #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #leo knut #I made finn and logan that same age because what? even? are? timelines???#soulmates au #they're in love!

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