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reiding-writing · 4 months

Note

hiii, i hope you're well! i saw that you are taking requests for spencer and i really like your angst fics so i was wondering if you could write one with unrequited love?

preferably bau!reader who has feelings for him but he doesn't and she watches him get with someone else and everybody knows how she feels about him but he is oblivious, ending is up to you but i love me a sad ending heheh 😸

transgression [ s.r ]

You’re in love with Spencer Reid. He’s in love with somebody else.

WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE MAEVE ARC, LOTS of misunderstanding, Spencer is kind of a bad friend, lots of arguing, major character death

spencer reid x gn!reader || ANGST || 8.2k || masterlist!!

a/n: sorry for the delay, but i did warn you it was gonna be long so- also i listened to ceilings on repeat whilst writing this so take that as you will 🫶

did i bend the maeve arc to my will for this fic? yes. yes i did.

taglist (slashed blogs couldn’t be tagged): @babyspiderling @marsxoxo2 @vytvyvy @hpstuff244444 @frostooo @ohmysw33 @radioactiveinvisible @devilsadvcte @the-local-pendeja @kakashis-formal-simp @robinswrld

You suppose you did it to yourself.

Spencer’s migraines had gotten increasingly worse over the last few months, and after a few consecutive days of hounding him, he’d finally decided to go and see a medical professional about it.

You’d expected him to come back with news about how his brain stem was too active from how hard he was working himself, or that he’d managed to raise his blood pressure to an unhealthy high from all the stress he was under.

Instead he’d told you that they couldn’t find anything physically wrong with him and that he’d been referred to a geneticist to check if the cause of his sudden mind-numbing aching was due to an underlying condition that might have been passed down from his mother.

He’d come back and forth to you for weeks about his phone calls with the doctor.

How she was helping him with his sleep deprivation.

How she was helping to manage his diet.

How she loved classic literature.

How she and him had spent four consecutive hours on the phone debating over the logistics of a novel they both enjoyed.

You could see the change happening before your eyes, and you weren’t the only one either.

“Pretty boy’s chipper this morning,” Morgan joins you at the kitchenette, his eyes following Spencer as he takes a seat at his desk with all of the enthusiasm of a golden retriever puppy who’d been let off his leash for the first time.

You hum with a nod, focusing your attention on the two cups of coffee you were making, heaping tablespoons of sugar into Spencer’s Doctor Who mug to satisfy his insatiable need for sweetness. “They’re reading a book together,”

“Really?” You respond to Morgan’s raised eyebrow with a short nod and another hum.

“Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton, apparently she finds the religious analysis ‘fascinating’,” You can’t help the small contemptment that seeps into your tone as you reiterate what Spencer had told you to Morgan, and you can practically feel his pitiful gaze as he watches you make your coffee.

“I’ve heard of that book before from somewhere,”

“I tried to get him to read it a few months ago,” You take a sip of your coffee at the end of your sentence, barely able to taste it over the scolding water but not finding the mind to care.

You leave your conversation with Morgan at that, taking the two mugs in your hands and walking back into the bullpen, placing Spencer’s mug in front of him and walking around the cluster of desks to reach your own.

He’s sure he doesn’t need to verbalise it, but Morgan feels increasingly sorry for your situation, noting how you skirt past Spencer’s “thank you” without a response as you bury your head in your files.

he can’t imagine how much the fact that Spencer had seemingly formed a crush on his geneticist ripped you apart.

And the worst part? He’d never met her in person.

All scientific laws of attraction be damned, Spencer Reid had fallen in love with someone he’d never met in the span of three months, and you we’re resigning yourself to sit on the sidelines and watch as the man you had been in love with for six years find the happiness that you longed for with somebody else.

How you managed to keep up your facade you didn’t know.

You’d offered him change for the pay phone he’d call her from when he was running short. You’d let him rant to you about her opinions on a novel that you had failed to get him to read. You made excuses for him to leave the office early so that he could spend his time on the phone with her.

You were the one that sent him to the hospital and caused him to meet her in the first place.

He never hesitated to remind you of that fact, thanking you vicariously every time he relayed his conversations with the doctor back to you.

As the weeks progressed he stopped calling her that. She wasn’t ‘the doctor’ anymore. She was Maeve.

He didn’t call you by your first name and you’d known him for ten times longer that he’d known her. He didn’t even call Morgan by his first name and those two were practically brothers.

And that part was probably what hurt the most.

Maeve.

A name of Irish origin meaning ‘intoxicating’. How fitting.

Apparently the Irish goddess of love and desire was named Maeve. You could see the glimmer in Spencer’s eye that told you his Maeve was just as important as the mythological goddess he was describing.

His Maeve.

“So why haven’t you two actually gone on a date or anything?” You take a sip from the mug in your hands, swivelling your chair back and forth with your foot as a pivot. “You’ve been talking for what, four months now? Surely it’s about time you actually met her in person,”

“It’s complicated,” Spencer sighs as he collects the loose papers he was working on in a pile. He didn’t want to divulge Maeve’s issues without her permission.

“You’ve been saying that for the last six weeks Spencer,” You roll your eyes as you discard your half-empty mug on the table. “If I didn’t know any better i’d say you’re putting it off,”

Spencer shook his head adamantly at your suggestion. You couldn’t have been more wrong. He did want to meet her. Desperately. He’d wanted to meet her since the end of their first phone call. But he also wanted to keep her safe.

How do you meet up with somebody who’s hiding from a stalker without endangering them?

“I do want to meet her. It’s just- she’s dealing with something personal and it’s put a rift our plans, that’s all,”

“So it’s her not wanting to meet up with you then?” You raise an eyebrow at him over your desks.

“Look it’s- You don’t get it okay? It was a mutual understanding from both of us.” You can hear Spencer’s tone become more defensive as you spoke, and you raised both of your hands in surrender.

“Okay, i’m sorry for prying-” You ended your apology with a laugh, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted despite feeling your heart deflate in your chest at the way the friendliness his his eyes fizzled out the longer you looked at him.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Spencer’s late to work this morning.

It’s 8:06 when he finally walks through the glass doors, the coffee you made him stone cold after sitting lamely on his desk for the better part of twenty minutes. He doesn’t so much as offer an apology as he picks up the mug and makes his way over to the kitchenette to pour the coffee down the sink.

You follow behind him in a mix of intrigue and a want to refill your own mug, swilling it out with some water as you watch Spencer load a coffee pod into the machine. “Phone call last longer than you expected?”

“Hm? Oh- yeah, we were discussing the literary analysis of Annabelle Lee,” Spencer’s demeanour seems to brighten immediately once he’s given an opportunity to discuss the details of his phone call with Maeve, although the beginning of his ramble is quickly cut off by the beeping of the coffee machine.

You wait patiently for his coffee to finish before you begin making yours, raising an eyebrow as Spencer pulls out a regular teaspoon instead of the usual tablespoon he’d incorrectly use to load his coffee with sugar.

Your intrigue only heightened when he pulled a carton of milk from the mini-fridge. Not even normal milk. Soy milk.

“Since when do you drink coffee like a normal person?”

His eyes flickered from his mug to your face as he tipped a single teaspoon of sugar into his drink before replacing the bag back where it came from. “It’s a part of my managed diet, Maeve thinks that my increased sugar intake might be one of the risk factors for my headaches,”

“Did she tell you to put soy milk in it too?” You don’t know why you have the urge to be petty, Spencer had long since needed to change his coffee drinking habits for the sake of decreasing his sugar intake and Maeve’s suggestions were beneficial for his health.

It was just the fact that it was her that ticked you off.

“She did actually, it provides the same amount of riboflavin as cow’s milk, which acts as a soothing agent whilst also helping constrict inflamed blood vessels, but without all of the excess fats in regular milk that might make my migraines more frequent, it’s genius really,”

He thought that her ideas were genius. Him. Mr ‘I have three PhDs and an IQ of 187’, thought someone else’s ideas were genius.

You’re sure that he already knew the benefits of milk alternatives, and yet he attributed the ‘revelation’ of what they could do to Maeve. Of course he did.

“When was the last time you made a decision for yourself?” The question comes out much harsher than you intend it to, and you can tell by the way Spencer furrows his eyebrows that he’s taken offence to it.

“Sorry, that came out wrong,” No it didn’t. “I’m just a little surprised that someone as independent as you is so… willing to follow blind instructions,” Your attempt at saving yourself half-works, that wrinkle between his eyebrows disappears and you can see that the glimmer in his eyes is returning slowly.

“She’s a doctor, of course i’m going to follow her suggestions,”

You give him a soft nod as you pick up your mug from under the coffee machine. “Yeah, no, that makes sense, it’s just a little surprising is all,”

You don’t give him a chance to respond to you before you’re walking away from the kitchenette to retake a seat at your desk, fearing you might say something out of pocket if you continue the conversation any longer.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

You were really pissed off now.

You’d arrived back in Quantico three days ago, and you were still piled up to your neck in paperwork.

Maybe you would’ve had it finished by now if Spencer would stop talking about the fact that he was “-finally going to meet Maeve in person,”.

You had half the mind to snap and tell him to just shut up, although by the saving grace of Morgan you thankfully didn’t have to.

“Reid, give their poor ears a break man,” Your thankful for Morgan in times like this. He knew you were knee-deep in your feelings for Spencer, and he knew that every time Spencer so much as spoke Maeve’s name it carved another hairline fracture in your heart.

You were close to shattering, and Morgan could tell.

“Oh- right, sorry,” Spencer offered you an awkward smile which you mirrored back at him.

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” You shake your head in a polite dismissal of his apology before turning your head back down towards your files.

“I take it you’re nervous then?” Alex’s voice cut through the beginning of an awkward tension between the two of you as she entered to bullpen with a cup of coffee in hand.

“Well- I mean- you know…” Upon being unable to find a sufficient response, Spencer resorts to shrugging into his chair. “I just don’t want to ruin anything,”

“But aren’t you curious what she looks like?” Alex raises an eyebrow with concern like Spencer was he son going on his first ever date.

“it doesn’t matter what she looks like I mean- she’s already the most beautiful girl in the world to me it’s just-”

You don’t stick around to hear the rest of the conversation.

You sudden upheaval from your desk stops Spencer’s sentence as his eyes follow you across the bullpen and out of the glass doors, followed shortly by Morgan as he jogs after you.

“Hey- Wait up a minute-” Morgan catches your arm before you have a chance to get in the elevator, and as you turn your eyes towards him he can see the beginnings of tears forming in your eyes.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this..”

Morgan can do nothing more than pull your head into his shoulder and wrap his arms tightly around your back with a soft mutter of your name. “I know kid, I know…”

“He thinks she’s the most beautiful girl in the world,” You turn your head up from Morgan’s shoulder to meet his eyes, a single stray tear cascading down your cheek, illuminated under the florescent lights. “How am I supposed to compete with that..?”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Incidentally, Spencer’s date with Maeve didn’t end up happening. Conflicting work schedules or something, you weren’t really listening.

Maybe all of your subconscious thoughts had leaked into reality and finally gave you momentary release from the crushing defeat of having Spencer go on a date with someone else.

Maybe it was them punishing you further by forcing you to sit through him rant about the book she’d left him at the front of the restaurant.

It didn’t help that you already had a headache that made it feel like your eye sockets were being kicked by an annoying kid sat behind you on an aeroplane, leaving a dull ache in it’s wake and making you just want to bury yourself in a hole and hibernate.

“And right at the back she wrote ’Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone; we find it with another’ it’s a quote from-”

“Thomas Merton. Yeah, I know.” You dig the knuckle of your left thumb into cavity of your eye socket over your closed eyelid, hoping to relieve some of the tension that’s lingering there and disrupting your thoughts.

“Thomas Merton’s ‘Love and Living’ specifically,” If Spencer noticed your discomfort he didn’t acknowledge it. “It’s a collection of his essays on the importance of love to live, so for her to have written it specifically knowing that I would read it means-”

“Reid.”

Your tone stops him from continuing any further, and he blinks at you with that sweet puppy-dog expression that would usually have you weak at the knees.

“No offence, but I don’t care about your over-the-phone girlfriend or the quote that she wrote in your book.” Your tone carried a harshness to it that Spencer wasn’t used to hearing from you. It was cold and detached and not like you at all.

“Are- you okay?”

“No, Reid, I’m not, and if you’d bothered to ask about my life every once in a while instead of using me like a human diary maybe you would’ve realised that already.”

You practically slam your file closed as you speak, pushing your chair out from your desk and leaving him sat in shock at your sudden change in attitude.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

After a bit of introspection, Spencer did realise that he hadn’t been treating you very fairly. He hadn’t asked you how your life had been in 3 months and 26 days. Four of those days he’d spent in damn near radio silence. He wasn’t sure he could take it much longer.

He missed you.

It was a bit ironic considering you sat directly opposite him for almost eight hours a day five days a week, but after you’d snapped at him last week, he truly realised just how much of his day he spent socialising with you, and just how much he missed talking to you.

So he decided that he was going to apologise.

And what better form of an apology for being dismissive of your feelings than putting a personal effort into something for you.

He walked into the office that morning with a leather bound copy of The Parasite by Arthur Conan Doyle stored cautiously in his messenger bag, pages scrawled with annotations from Spencer’s own reading of the novel that he hoped would be insightful to you as you read it yourself.

He’d remembered you saying how much you wanted to read the novel a few months ago, so he figured giving it to you as a personalised apology would show that he really did care about you and had listened to what you’d told him.

“Are you busy?” Spencer asks, though he already knows the answer to the question.

He’d been watching you from the other side of the room all morning, hoping for a moment or two of eye contact to see if there was a possibility of a conversation. A look from one to the other; even a smile would’ve been enough to make him feel validated and content. And he would have been willing to settle for that.

But you never looked up. Not even once.

"Mhm," You continue to not spare Spencer so much as glance as he speaks, turning over the page of the file you were working through.

“Can I take a minute of your time?” He tried to catch your gaze again, only to be met by your continued focus on your work. The last thing he wanted to do was disrupt your work routine, but he also knew that he needed to talk to you sooner rather than later.

“Please,” he said softly. “It’s important.”

You exhale heavily through your nose, exasperation written clearly in your expression as you leave your pen as a page marker to close the manilla folder on your desk. You turn your head upwards, raising an eyebrow and opening your hands to agitatedly indicate for him to continue.

You wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt being so openly cold towards Spencer, but you’d reached a breaking point, and you couldn’t bare sitting idly on the sidelines and letting him tear your heart to pieces anymore.

Spencer was relieved that you’d granted him your attention, but the look you directed towards him was enough to make him wince. You weren’t looking at him through a lens of indifference but rather cold, hard disappointment.

He took a deep breath, trying to gather the right words for what he had to say.

“I’m sorry,”

He seemed almost breathless as he spoke, like he’d just finished a tangent about something without taking the time to breathe. “I know that I’ve been spending too much time talking about Maeve and not enough paying attention to you.”

"You don’t say," You mutter the words under your breath to yourself, but your sure that Spencer heard you based on the way his eyebrows knit and the small gleam of hope in his eyes dwindles to barely a flicker.

He was trying not to react to your snide comment. Spencer knew that your tone didn’t leave any room to deny your meaning. He’d been selfish in talking exclusively about his relationship and hadn’t realised how it was affecting you.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer repeated. “You mean so much to me and I haven’t been showing that.”

"Thank you," Your thanks are polite but dismissive, like you were acknowledging his apology but choosing to not actually consider it as one, and it left Spencer with an expression of clear frustration.

He was used to being able to read your facial expressions and emotions in the past, but now you were just an unreadable wall of disappointment. He had hoped the apology would've been enough, but it was clear that you weren’t going to let him off that easily.

Time to pull out the last resort.

He bent over and fumbled with his bag for a few moments before pulling out the novel he’d brought with him face up.

“I uh… got you this,” He holds out the book towards you. “You said you wanted to read it right? So I uh.. annotated it for you to make it more enjoyable,”

You take the novel from him with a raised eyebrow as your eyes scan the cover, a clear flicker of confusion in your expression.

Spencer noticed your expression and furrowed his own brow in confusion. You didn't seem to recognise the book. In fact, the look on your face made him wonder whether you even knew this book existed at all before this moment.

“I hope you… like it,” he said nervously. “I was going off what you'd talked about before. You mentioned the book was a classic?”

"I… have never seen this book in my life,”

“B-But…” Spencer knew this was going to be awkward at some point, but he'd hoped not this early into the conversation. He could feel his cheeks burning from embarrassment, and it was only getting worse as he searched your face for an answer to this awkward situation.

“I… swear I heard you mention it once.”

You give him a short shake of your head and a pursed smile of awkward thanks as you put the book down on your desk.

Spencer looked away, embarrassed beyond belief. He hadn't even been able to deliver an apology properly, let alone make you feel special like he'd originally intended to.

How had he gotten it wrong? He had an eidetic memory for god’s sake.

When you put the book down on your desk, his eyes flicked back to the book. He'd spent almost 4 hours annotating and researching it and now it felt like all that effort had been wasted.

If you hadn’t mentioned it then who had? Someone must’ve. Someone he obviously equated with you to the point where he’d somehow managed to override his eidetic memory to mix the two of you up.

It takes him a few moments before you hear him whisper out a name under his breath, the palm of his hand dragging down the front of his face at the realisation.

"Maeve…"

The mention of her name had your eyes flickering away from the leather cover and right back to Spencer’s face, awkwardness completely rid of your features and replaced with a mix of negativity that Spencer wasn’t sure he wanted to dig into.

"Are you serious?" Your words come out less questioningly and more accusatory, and you hold the book up so that he can see it once more, the gold embossing on the cover glinting under the overhead light as if to only taunt Spencer further for his mistake.

“You apologise for continuously disregarding me for your girlfriend by giving me a book that she showed interest in?”

You could see Spencer's face fall as your words sink in.

He hadn't even taken the time to think over what he was apologising with. It was almost as if his brain automatically just reverted back to his girlfriend's interests as an escape from dealing with his own guilt and sadness.

"Damn it," he whispered to himself. And in that moment he realised he'd just committed the biggest crime someone could make when trying to apologise.

“Like you constantly flaunting your relationship in my face verbally wasn’t bad enough.”

"I'm sorry I-" he says again, voice teeming with sincerity and guilt.

"You are truly and utterly unbelievable Spencer Reid." Your words didn’t carry anger as much as they did disappointment, and he could see the astoundment in your eyes as you pushed your chair backwards to stand, dropping the book straight in the trash bin by your desk before walking off.

It’s where it belongs; Right alongside the small sliver of respect you still had for him.

Spencer could've said so much more: he could've admitted how ashamed he felt for his careless actions and he could've apologised again and again a million times if it meant you'd stick around and give him a chance to make it up to you.

But you had already made it clear that you weren't in the right state of mind to discuss this matter further.

The best thing he could do now was give you space as he watched you walk away, a deep pain in his heart that slowly ate him alive from the inside.

He’d well and truly fucked up.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh sweetheart, what’s wrong?” You were bordering tears by the time you reached Garcia’s office, unintentionally interrupting her lunch break with Alex in the process, though the two seemed to care less about the interruption and more about the fact that you liked like you were about to cry your eyes out.

You take in a sharp breath through your nose as you try to tape together the cracks in your composure, although with every one you seal three more seem to appear in it’s place.

“I-” You can barely get the first word out before the tears start rolling down your face, and Alex immediately stands from her seat to guide you to sit in her place.

“Hey, you’re alright, slowly,” Alex’s hands find your shoulders and rub reassuring circles against your shirt. The slow breath you take in doesn’t stop the flood of tears that’s blurring your vision, and you only manage to get out a single word, but it’s all the two need to understand what’s got you so overwhelmed.

“Spencer-”

“I swear I am two seconds away from smacking that boy over the back of the head,” You can hear the clear frustration in Garcia’s tone. “Surely he’s got to realise how much he’s hurting you by now,”

“He does… I lashed out at him and then left to come here…” You rub your eyes with the back of your hand alongside a small sniffle, trying to rid your vision of it’s blurriness from your tears.

“Good, the boy deserves to have some sense knocked into him,” You appreciate Garcia taking your side, but you can’t help that small lingering feeling of guilt that invades the back of your mind.

“He’s just in love, it’s not his fault…” The words almost physically pain you to say. The verbal acceptance that Spencer Reid was indeed in love with somebody. Somebody who wasn’t you.

“That doesn’t mean that he should be disregarding you though sweetheart,” Alex’s tone is soft and almost maternal, and your sure that it doesn’t help how emotional you are.

Garcia’s right hand reaches forward to straighten out the collar of your shirt, unintentionally crumpled as you try to wipe your face of your emotions. “You’re his friend, and you have been his friend for longer than he’s known this girl he’s talking to, it’s not fair for him to completely push you to the side,”

Garcia was right. It’s not fair. Nothing about how Spencer had been treating you since he’d started speaking to Maeve had been fair. And you were done making excuses for the boy just because you knees deep in your feelings for him.

You didn’t deserve to feel guilty. You didn’t deserve to feel bad for lashing out at Spencer for apologising for not showing interest in your life by further proving just how little he’d actually payed attention to you. You didn’t deserve to cry because he was the most stupid genius to ever live and couldn’t see that you were hopelessly in love with him. You didn’t deserve to suffer by his hand.

It wasn’t fair.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Maeve’s been kidnapped.”

You have to consciously suppress the small voice in the back of your head that celebrates the possibility that she might not be a part of Spencer’s life for much longer. It’s a horrible thought. You should never wish ill upon anyone, no matter how much you internally despised them.

Still, that part of you that was still petty, that was still infuriated with Spencer and Maeve, wanted you to tell Spencer straight to his face that you weren’t going to help him find her and that it was karma for how he’d treated you.

But you weren’t a bad person.

As much as you might hate her, she was still important to Spencer.

“I have a wealth of knowledge i should be applying to this case, but- i can’t focus on anything for more than four seconds at a time… which makes me the dumbest person in the room-” Spencer’s eyes are full of desperation as they scan across your teammates.

“So please help me… Please help me find her…” The desperation in his voice is heartbreaking, the remnants of tears staining his face as he explains the context of the situation through broken sentences.

“We don’t have an official case, so we’ll be working on personal time,” Hotch’s voice is much quieter than you’re used to. Softer, more considerate. “Does anybody want to leave?”

You can feel his eyes linger on you as he asks the question, and you subconsciously purse your mouth into a tight line to stop yourself from impulsively pulling out of the investigation.

You might be detrimentally frustrated with him, but you did want to help. Even if it ultimately resulted in your downfall.

Hotch gave you a short nod before turning to the rest of the team. “Good, let’s get to work,”

It didn’t take Garcia very long to track Maeve down, mostly attributed to her unique name and specialised job.

Dr. Maeve Donovan, a professor at Mendel University who took a sabbatical leave 10 months ago.

The group split into different groups once they’d found her, JJ and Morgan heading off to a loft her parents owned, Alex and Rossi heading to the lab she used to work at, and you and Hotch, accompanied by Spencer, going to speak to Maeve’s parents.

“Reid,” Garcia’s tone is soft as she looks over her laptop screen towards him as he begins to stand from the conference table. “I have a picture of her, do you want to know what she looks like?”

“No,”

Spencer’s answer is immediate, joined by a shake of his head.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

You and Spencer watched from behind the one way mirror as the interview progressed.

They’d last spoken to Maeve five days ago. Her mother had cancer. She was also a geneticist. They were suspicious of her ex fiancé Bobby.

Her fiancé?

You can see Spencer’s face drop at the words despite the low lighting in the room, and you can’t help but furrow your eyebrows yourself.

She had a fiancé?

Spencer practically storms out of the office after the questioning is over, and Hotch has to remind him to calm down as they reach the apartment of Robert Putnam with Morgan and Rossi in tow.

When the door opens the five of you aren’t greeted by Robert, but rather a girl, a girl who looked very confused.

You invite yourselves inside at the girl’s recognition that Robert was inside the apartment.

“And who are you?”

“I’m Diane, his girlfriend,” She raised an eyebrow as the five of you looked around, confusion cut short as Robert rounds the corner questioning the sudden voices coming from his living room.

“Hey babe what’s-“

“Robert Putnam, FBI we’d like to-” Spencer’s voice cuts him off harshly as he rushes to speak, although he stops his sentence halfway as a flicker of recognition falls across his features and his anger turns to dread.

“Hey, I know you,” Robert doesn’t have the time to say anything else to Spencer before Hotch forces him out of the room, shutting the door behind him to speak to Spencer privately whilst you Morgan and Rossi remained inside.

Hotch returned a few minutes later. Spencer didn’t.

You end up taking Hotch’s place as you push yourself out of the apartment with a small “excuse me,” to follow after Spencer as he walks out of the apartment building.

“Spencer- wait up a minute-”

He doesn’t stop at your call, and you’re practically running down the stairs by the time you get to him, already out of the front doors of the apartment building.

“Hey-” You take a second to catch your breath before turning your eyes back towards him again. “Are you alright?”

You could see the flicker of confusion in his eyes as he met your gaze.

The last time you spoke to him you threw away any remnant of your friendship with him in the bin alongside the book he’d given you, and now here you were, chasing after him to make sure that he was okay.

“Why did you agree to help?”

Your face falls from concern to surprise at his question, and he takes it as a sign to continue.

“I know that you don’t like her, so why are you here?” You could see the beginnings of tears forming in his eyes, clearly overwhelmed with how the investigation was going.

“She’s important to you Spencer. Like her or not I care about you. So therefore I care about her,” You don’t think as you speak, words spilling out of your mouth with no conscious filter.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer’s apology elicits a sigh from your mouth, and you shake your head softly at him.

“Forget it, let’s focus on getting Maeve home safe alright?” He obliges to your request with a purse of his lips and a small nod, turning his eyes towards the ground.

“What’re you thinking about?” His eyes fall on yours once more at your question, round with confusion and glistening with the starts of tears. “I can see it in your face, you’re calculating something in your head,”

He exhales through his mouth in a small laugh. You’d always been able to figure him out, and not just because you were a profiler.

“2,412 hours,” His tone is uncertain, mixed between gratefulness for you observance and something far more upsetting. “That’s how long Maeve and I have contacted each other counting letters and phone calls…”

“That’s what-” You take a second to do the calculation in your head. “100 days?”

“100.5…” He runs his hand backwards through his hair, pressing his eyes closed like he’s afraid tears will spill from them if he doesn’t. “What if that’s all I get?”

“It won’t be Spencer…”

“You don’t know that-“

“Yes Spencer, I do,” You have to consciously suppress the sigh that threatens to leave your mouth, pushing your lingering distaste for Maeve down with it. “She is going to be fine, I promise,”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Turns out Maeve’s ex fiancé wasn’t the stalker. In fact, he was being stalked himself, and whilst JJ and Garcia were looking over the images posted to Robert whilst him and Maeve were still together they discovered something that changed the entire direction of the investigation.

Maeve’s face had scribbled out in eyeliner.

You and the team spent the next thirty minutes rebuilding the profile from the bottom up.

“Celebrity stalkers are usually non violent,”

“You want to tell that to John Lennon Rossi?” Spencer looked up from his lap towards the group at the table, having separated himself from the group to sit on a sofa lining one of the walls so he couldn’t bias the profile.

It wasn’t going too well.

“What was it that Mark David Chapman said after he shot him?” Spencer stood from his seat, anger flaring in his nostrils. “‘It was like all of my nobody-ness and all of his somebody-ness collided’,”

You could hear the rise in his tone as he worked himself up the more he spoke.

“Spencer-“

“Maeve is somebody. And this- bitch is a nobody.”

“Spencer.”

Spencer caught your gaze, and immediately fizzling out of his eyes and replaced with guilt. “I’m sorry- I can’t be very helpful right now I should leave-“

“Yes you can Reid, you have 100.5 days of communication with this girl and a recall everything verbatim,” Morgan’s gaze is entirely concerned with Spencer’s outburst.

“There’s too much of it, and I can’t sort through any of it clearly-“ Spencer is clearly on the edge of breaking, and you can tell he’s not going to be able to keep his composure for much longer.

“Then pick one of us and we’ll go through it with you,” Hotch leaned his elbows against the table, his voice again portraying that soft, parental tone that said he knew how overwhelmed Spencer was getting.

Spencer didn’t even say anything, his eyes just silently flickered over to you and you knew you couldn’t refuse him.

You return his silence as you get up from your seat and pat your hand on his shoulder for the two of you to exit the room together.

Time to torture yourself for the sake of Spencer’s wellbeing.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Diane Turner, a research assistant working for her PhD in the same lab as Maeve. A student who had her thesis rejected because it contained a heavy sample bias that included both of her parents.

It took a while, but Garcia eventually managed to track down a loft that was owned under Diane’s parents’ names, less than 10 minutes away from Maeve’s apartment.

“Take your gun and vest off,” Diane’s voice is harsh through the receiver attached to the front of the building, and Spencer’s eyes flickered up from the silk blindfold in his hands to the metal box.

He doesn’t question the orders as he immediately begins stripping the vest from his torso, dropping it and his gun on the floor.

“Now come in alone.”

“Spencer.” You call out to him as he reaches for the door handle, and he gives you that look that makes your stomach do flips in your torso. Except this time it’s not that pleasant fluttery feeling, but instead an existential dread at the fact that he might not walk out of the building alive.

“I’ll be okay,” He gives you a nod of reassurance as he pushes the door open, and you find yourself clenching your hands around your gun to stop yourself from following after him.

The six of you wait outside for what feels like hours, and you lean back and forth on the balls of your feet as you become increasingly restless with the situation.

Then, a gunshot.

And a second.

And your heart drops in your chest.

You’re not entirely present as you rush into the building with the team following behind you, gun raised at your eyes.

Spencer had to be okay. He had to. He was going to be fine. You were going to walk into that room and he was going to be perfectly fine.

You hoped Maeve was alright too. As much as she was unintentionally causing you literal hell, you knew that she meant everything to Spencer.

You knew that he’d choose her over anything. He’d choose her over you.

And right now you don’t care. You just want him to be okay.

You force the door open to the loft with your foot, gun pointed straight ahead at the first person you see.

“Stay back-“ Spencer practically shouts from where he’s half lying on the floor, right hand clutching tightly at his left bicep, trails of blood cascading down his fingers and onto the floor.

“Stay back stay back don’t shoot-“

You let out an audible sigh at the fact that Spencer wasn’t critically harmed, although upon a whimper of his name from further across the room you turn your eyes up to the noise.

And you finally meet the girl that’s caused you ten months of hell. Held at gunpoint.

That small voice in the back of your head tells you that this might be your chance to finally rid her from your life, to let her succumb to whatever Diane had planned and leave Spencer to you.

But you take one look at the desperation in her eyes and any loathing that remained in your mind immediately fizzled out.

It wasn’t her fault. Of course it wasn’t. She was just a girl that happened to be in love.

“Diane,” Spencer pushes himself to stand, and you can see the pain in his face as he does. “There’s still a way out of this,”

“You never wanted me. Never!” Diane pushes the gun she’s holding hard against Maeve’s neck, and you can see her eyes squeeze closed as she attempts to keep herself from crying. “You lied!”

“I didn’t.”

Spencer shakes his head adamantly, and you glance over at Hotch as you spread across the back of the room, guns raised in Diane’s direction. “Diane, I offered you a deal, and you can still take it,”

“Me for her. Let me take her place,”

You only have a view of the back of Spencer’s head now, but you can tell by the tone of his voice that his expression is a pure display of desperation, one that you’re happy you can’t see because you’d lose your composure in an instant.

“You would do that?” Diane’s question is angry and accusatory, tears rolling down her face as she presses the gun against Maeve’s neck once more.

Spencer nods with no threat in his tone. “Yes,”

“You would kill yourself for her?”

“Yes.”

You practically feel your heart stop.

“Thomas Merton,” Maeve’s voice is almost exactly as you imagined it to be. Soft, smooth and, as Spencer had called it all those months ago, ‘dipped in honey’.

“Who’s Thomas Merton?” Diane’s tone contrasts Maeve’s tenfold, pitchy, uneven and overrun with manic anger.

“He knows,” You can see Maeve’s eyes flicker, and you assume that they meet Spencer’s as his shoulders drop. “He knows.”

“Who’s Thomas Merton?” Diane shakes Maeve in her grasp as if to intensify the urgence of her question, and you tighten your grip on your gun in instinctual response. “Who is he?”

“He’s the one thing you can never take from us,” Maeve’s voice is confident and defiant despite the clear tears in her eyes.

Thomas Merton could’ve been something between Spencer and you.

“No.”

You can see a clear change in Diane’s expression at Maeve’s words, and she lowers the gun from Maeve’s head only to hold it up against her own, staring directly into Spencer’s eyes.

“Wait-”

Spencer barely has time to shout the word before the gun fires, and you flinch at the sound as you watch Maeve and Diane both drop to the floor, dark red blood pooling around the two.

You can feel the tension in the room as everyone computes what just happened, guns lowering slowly as their eyes lock onto the two women on the floor.

You’re not focused on that. You’re focused on the tightness of Spencer’s shoulders as he takes sharp breaths in and out of his nose.

The way he seems to forget about the bullet wound in his arm as his legs give out underneath him.

The way a sob that leaves his mouth despite the fact that he tries to muffle it with his hand.

The way that Spencer broke.

He's crying. Big, heaving, heart-wrenching sobs.

His shoulders are trembling.

His hands are shaking.

His head is hanging downwards so that his hair is covering his face.

You approach him slowly, kneeling down at his side and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

His eyes slowly shift from Maeve, his sobs only seeming to amplify as he meets your gaze. His eyes are red and closely with tears, his cheeks running hot and his lips trembling.

You don’t speak, knowing that you’ll break if you do. Instead, you guide his head into your shoulder and let him crumble in your arms, grieving the loss of the love of his life.

You’re sure you’re going to cry yourself to sleep when you get home, but right now, you needed to be strong. For him.

“I’m so sorry-“ Spencer speaks through broken sobs as you hold him, the rest of the team moving to secure the scene.

“Shh,” You shake your head against his softly, rubbing the palm of your hand up and down his back as you let him cry until he physically couldn’t anymore.

“I treated you so horribly-“ He pulls away from your shoulder to look into your eyes once more. “I’m so sorry- Please don’t leave me…”

You purse your lips into a line, your expression full of so many emotions Spencer can’t distinguish any of them.

“I’m not going anywhere,” You pull his head back into your shoulder, leaning your head against his. “I promise…”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid angst #criminal minds angst #mgg #asks 🫶

795 notes · View notes

linnienin · 1 year

Text

⁓⁕🍷 🌸 V e n u s ⁕ a n d ⁕ h o w ⁕ y o u ⁕ c h i l l 🌸 🍷⁕⁓

Disclaimer: Take what resonates. I'm not a professional astrologer, i just am an avid researcher and i use my personal experience when writing my posts (Also, pls, don't copy my work, i spend lot of time on it, thanks)

Ahhh Venus, the planet of love. We use it to talk about our relationships and misadventures in our love life. But it also is the planet of feminine energy, enjoyment, relaxation and indulgence. How do you chill using your Venusian energy? Let's find out looking at your Venus's sign and degree

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Aries / 1-13-25 degrees : *aggresively flying on the couch* play TV, *loud setting on*, watch the tv for 1 minute, gets bored, *roll off the couch*, goes to the kitchen, sees people, start a little chase (Jason Momoa meme entered the caption) 👀👐. After annoying people for a bit, do a little workout, tries to lift a 700 kg cause they *confident*, fail, they still confident, opt for the 0.5 kg, now they happy 😊💪. Dance lover. Enjoy drinking energy drinks. Not really a sipp-er, more of a chugg-er lmao. Carbs are their heaven, they cannot have enough (cause they move a lot, they need the energyy). When laying on the sofa need to put their head on someone else's shoulder or legs or head to feel safe and receive the physical contact they really crave. Enjoy taking short cold showers. Like playing chess (they're good at strategizing and know when to attack and they're bold about it). Cut their hair as a relaxing activity (until they have no hair left to cut lol), likes dyeing them too, preferabily with bolder colours.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Taurus / 2-14-26 degrees: The yawn-er. They're MASTER at chilling. They chill doing everything, i'm not kidding, are they at home, are they at work? They be chilling allll the time. Lovers of the sofa, bed, and others soft big surfaces. Chill by taking their time doing everything, they be starting cooking at 9 a.m. to serve a meal at 1 p.m. ✨Sloth with grace✨. Quality over quantity. Enjoy passing time doing nothing...literally. They be like fixating on a thing and looking at it for an hour straight. Mad control of their focus. Meditating without realizing It. Probably sip chamomile. They like to think time doesn't exist, they got all the time in the world (until they wake up one day, look into the mirror and realize they forgot to shave their mustache for all this time). Hella romantic, enjoy picking up flowers, endless walks in nature, veery slowly, they be stopping every 2x3 to admire a little bug passing by.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Gemini / 3-15-27 degrees: Tea time with their personalities. Lmao, no but they literally chill by checking in with their thoughts and their ideas. Loves listening to podcasts and documentaries. Multitasking hobbies. Yup, i have no clue how they even relax by doing 1738283 things at a time but it's a way to shut down their thoughts for a while. Yeah, i know, i just told you they chill by thinking too, but sometimes it becomes too much and they have to switch the brain off. Relax by painting their nails. Get experimental with makeup. Write fanfics but leave them unfinished 👀. Admire their pretty handwriting. Enjoy reading and talking about gossip a looot, too much hehe. Like to play games that require a broad knowledge on everything (ex Trivia). Thinking about doing stuff but actually not doing it lmfao, they just love to think about soo many ideas, that is a way to relax, but then they don't even write them down and poof, they're gone and they can't remember them and they get mad about it :(

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Cancer / 4-16-28 degrees : Cuddling with their pillow 24/7 (cause deep down they feel alone... 🥺). Play animal crossing. Imagine their future family, even tho they're actually stuck in the past lol. Most likely to binge watch series for a whole day and get emotional about it because they get too attached to the characters. If they could they'd never leave the house...ever lmao, total homebodies. Relaxing by spending time alone or with very closed ones, friends/family. Probably likes to collect plushies, funko pops, or mini cute figures of their favourite fictional characters ✨. Cooking and baking can be a relaxing activity to them, especially if they do it for their family or their guests. Have 'grandma's hobbies'... knitting/crocheting for example lol. Enjoy so much making photo albums, and even more looking at them from time to time. Love going to the sea, early mornings walking barefoot on the sand and admiring the immense ocean and the sun rising, they're fans of little details and very romantic/sweet scenarios. They enjoy being helpful to others, so they'll probably ask people if they can do something for them (especially if they see people struggling doing something, they'll gladly volounteer to offer their help).

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Leo / 5-17-29 degrees: Stars wannabe. Intensely crying in front of the mirror portraying a desperate girl that has been cheated on, then recompose themselves and admire how good they just were pffft. Put on glasses even at home to feel extra, hit the door while walking cause they can't see a thing, get on the floor purposely, decides to play the blind character, gets up, * sudden dramatic enhancement of the other senses*. Dancing with the starssss. No seriosuly, they should apply, but as the professional dancer cause they so good! (and well they're not stars.... yet 👀). Like the other 2 fire venuses they enjoy moving their body so workouts are very appreciated, but leos especially loove hiit workouts, go build that cooore. Lovers of loong passionate and romantic dramas, they wanna feel all the emotions and they stay loyal to a specific series so they wish it could go on forevahh (hello..."Beautiful" lmao). ✨ Randomly transform their home in a runway show. Start walking like a model to feel themselves ✨ List all the things they can do and skills they acquired to feel good about themselves, then they list all the things they wanna work towards to use that self esteem boost to enhance their motivation and work towards their future goals.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Virgo / 6-18 degrees : Killing the chilling. No seriosuly, these people seem like they can't 100% chill properly, and some of them may take 'something' to feel completely detached and lost from reality for a bit... 👀 They chill by making plans. Always trying to find things to do and learn to always get better. Working on themselves is their favourite project. Scanning the room in bed instead of chilling, seeing if there's something they need to adjust or clean. Overthinking the heck out of their lives...wait weren't you supposed to chill? Nevermind 🙈. Roasting others...in their minds hehe, they won't let others see how much they enjoy analizing their mistakes. 'Lemme give you advice on this thing' , others: uhm... ok but chilllll. And you ask Virgo venuses whyy they continue to give advices even when people don't listen to them. Well... saying 'I told you' is more satifying than hearing 'i don't care' 😘 (underlying validation issues). Well...i mean, they could chill while crafting, i give you this, it's probably the only time where they get near the definition of chilling...but hey hold on, cause soon enough they gonna find out details about how they're not perfect at what they do so kill the chill again and let the procrastination beginnn (wait... is procrastination's Virgo's way of chilling?)

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Libra / 7-19 degrees: They wanna experience the finest things in life. They go to that fancy restaurant, get that fancy dress, buy those fancy flowers... they wanna feel cuddled by life and specifically... lifestyle. They need to feel they value by surroundings themselves with valuable things. That's why they chill by going shopping or talking to new people, because where they see value in, they get value from. It's all about feeling good about themselves. Have a sweet tooth (but enjoy eating overall, it's like they enjoy the experience of taste, they're not really picky ultimately). Can splurge on personal care, lots of tools for facials or expensive skincare (cause after eating sugar they need to mantain the perfect skin lol). They work a lot on the mantainance of the self. That's why they have a good eye for fashion and aesthetics, because they have been researching and analizing everything that's out there to understand what's better for them, but they still haven't found out their true style due to their indecisive nature 😂. Plus let's admit it, they like to change often and renew themselves to maintain that 'interesting persona' 👀

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Scorpio / 8-20 degrees : Drowning their nose in personality tests. Seriously, when these people wanna chill, all they got on their mind is how to understand that mind even more. They're detectives of their own psyche. Lovers of shadow work. Let all those intense questions unfold! Obsessive researchers. They find a topic they like, they delve deep into it until they've found enough to feel satisfied and jump on another theme to obsess themselves over. Probably watching a lot of documentaries on criminals and unresolved cases trying to find the final answer themselves. Masters at playing Cluedo. Read everybodies's minds in every single setting, it makes them relaxed by feeling in control of the room's energies, and yeah... even during lunch between family members lmao. Need plenty of alone time. They're secretly training to become wizards/witches 👀. Probably like to sip pomegranate juice or any other juicy and thick flavoured drink. Sometimes they forget to even eat because of how invested theyre in their researches lol. I know you're already attractive as hell, but y'all take care of your bodyyy

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Sagittarius / 9-21 degrees : The boy/girl scout. Those people HAVE to move, they can't stay still or they'll start to stress out. They love a good trip somewhere new, visiting places abroad, taking that bus/train and not knowing where it'll take them (they get lost easily lmfao but they don't mind it, it's part of the thrilling experience). Documentaries lovers: can't go out? Let them wander with their minds. Like to change activities often as they get bored quickly. Enjoy trying to eat different types of food from different cultures. They like to go shopping a lot, to have little souvenirs of all the places they've been to (can tend to overspend depending on other placements in the chart). The one who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Can love to pertake in volounteering activities, especially if they require them to sail to another country, they enjoy being helpful to other people in need (if underdeveloped can have hero complex). Probably enjoy playing on the Wii in competitive games, they're always up for a competition, even for the slightest thing, like "who can finish up this bottle of water first?? Ready? Start!" (they can announce little challenges like this veeery randomly and everyone will follow their lead, it's crazy haha)

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Capricorn / 10-22 degrees : Counting their money. Sorting their bills. Sooo relaxing right, especially when the money in your bank account keep groowingg 👀 (they probably watch cash envelope stuffing videos + budgeting on YT). Relax by doing the same routine every day, they can do it without even thinking, and that to them is relieving. They enjoy the adulting process, so actually...going to work can feel like chilling to them lol, they like to feel a sense of responsibility, it makes them feel motivated to always grow, and having a sense of order and stability, that's what makes them feel relaxed and safe. Constantly reading self-help books. Probably sipping their wine while chilling or an expensive drink or a concentrated drink (blueberry juice peraphs). They like high quality items, so they usually shop designer clothes/accessories, they love those labels lol. They love the sofa, don't ask me why lol, most people love the bed, capricorn venuses love the sofa, periodt (can it be because the space is restricted and Cap being ruled by Saturn, planet of restrictions... well, could be).

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Aquarius / 11-23 degrees : The videogamer. Have way too many hobbies that have nothing in common. Wanna splurge on those headphones too? You already have the bunny ears ones, the cat ears ones, the led ones, guyzzz you have a whole collection of them lmao. Are probably into reading about the unknown mysteries of the universe. Conspiracy theories lovers (they just love when they can confuse others people's minds with all their absurdities). The ones who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Collectors of technology stuff, yup, they still have the gameboyy 🥺. Unpredictable af but they enjoy being this way so people can always question them and think of them as interesting. Introverted people that need to recharge by being alone. Probably Webtoons and manga lovers. Enjoy pertaking in protest marches, feeling part of the crowd (sense of belonging) and feeling they can contribute to a greater cause. They feel the need to do something crazy once in a while, so if you see them bunjee jumping randomly, or trying others 'dangerous' activities don't be surprised (pls, be careful, and don't try anything illegal....understood?👀...pfft, i already know you're gonna roll your eyes, and think, here we go, another sheep that is trying to tell me what to do lol)

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Pisces / 12-24 degrees : Do you think thinking about "what ifs" is relaxing?? Y'allll pleaseee, i know the feeling is good when you imagine your perfect reality...but...you literally take it as a hobby and do it way too much...to your own detriment 😭. They looove watching romance movies and dramas, it's their bread and butter (to give food to those daydreams right?🙃). Play music ALL day and get lost in their world, and then suddenly it's time to go to bed and they realize they lost another day to daydreaming, now they got to the nightdreaming phase of the day lol 😂😭. Loves taking baths, the contact with water feels truly healing to them, they could stay in the water 24/7. Can be extremely good at painting or drawing, or singing (and other artistic activities too), and relax by doing these activities. Just asking, but are y'all ok with the low blood pressure?😢(also curious, do you tend to have low blood pressure?). Can relax but lose themselves watching the phone,especially social medias. Until they realize they're literally watching and living an illusion, they think they live by watching everyone else's lives and connect with them through the screen, but they're not living their own life by going out there, and experiencing the world as main characters, not just extras of their own lives.

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

Congrats! You've reached the end! ✨

Hope you enjoyed this post, always rememer that we are not just one placement, so if you didn't resonate, that's ok, i'd love to know your feedback in both cases (if you did or did not resonate), it is always very appreciated 🥰

Wish you a wonderful day! 🍷 Yours, Linnie 🌸

#astro notes #venus in the signs #astro observations #venus notes #astrology observations #planet venus #astro community

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jymwahuwu · 2 months

Note

Hi! Really love your stories they always scratch my brain (*≧∀≦*)❤️, so I got an idea and wanted to ask what you think about it

I got this question with Sunday on the minigame/event (idk what to call it lol)

"Just as you're about to pull a dusty hard-leatherback book, you hear a gentle whisper within earshot, "Averoy Rosewood's works are notorious for their obscurity," the Oak Family Head Sunday faintly smiles at you. "Perhaps you need more elaboration."

(I couldn't put the image since anon asks don't allow me to put images😮‍💨, but it's from a Board Encounter in Cosmodyssey)

and when I read it my brain immediately went WHAT IF SUNDAY FILLS THE READER WITH A VIBRATOR ON THE LIBRARY, and him just watching in amusement as he talks about books and asking her questions about them while he plays with the levels of vibrations with a control on his hands and she just struggles to make sentences, so he goes and asks "What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" To tease her and remind that she's in a public space and can't make much noise unless she wants everyone to know about what they're doing.

Hmm... I wrote this about Sunday, but I feel like maybe it could be about Jing Yuan or Aventurine 🤔, anyways sorry if it sounds weird my brain sometimes goes into unga bonga mode when I think about these men.

Sincerely,

An unhinged anon.

Thank you for telling me. I experienced this event and read the content of Sunday helping us in the library!! Wrote a little bit, I hope you like it 💗🫶

cw: yandere, non-con, abuse of power, abuse of credit, vibrator, harassment

How about you being the librarian at The Family Library? A nerdy librarian. The Family claims that this is a library open to everyone to read and borrow, covering a variety of books and hologram collections.

Sunday, the leader of the Oak Family noticed you. He can accurately talk to you about your interests, hobbies and ideals, and encourage you…but one thing is that you are not religious enough in your belief in harmony. You are too withdrawn…and cannot integrate into The Family. Sing hymns, participate in activities, and protect The Family, others can do it, but what can you do? He cannot allow you to continue in this position under these circumstances. You panicked, grabbing his sleeves and pleading with him through tears. "W-what, I really believe Lord Xipe…I need this job badly! Please Mr. Sunday…"

He offered a plan. He used his gloves to push a delicate small box in front of you. You must put two vibrators in your underwear while on duty to test your professional abilities. If you can tolerate sinful sexual pleasure, you qualify for this position.

"But… Mr. Sunday, can I-can I take a break?"

"Of course. I'm not here to torture you. This is for your and everyone's happiness and harmony, I hope you understand." His words ignited the hope in your heart. "You have 2 hours a day to take them down. Allocate your own time. After get off work, you head to my office and I will check on your progress. You must do this every working day."

"Check?" Your heart sank into the starry sky and was crushed. "Okay. Mr. Sunday..."

These two vibrators… are pearl white and have an angel wings pattern on them. It's silent, but it delivers a surge of pleasure to your private parts, sometimes fast and sometimes slow down. It's not much better when it's slow - it's a long, quiet torture that gives you no relief. You kept your legs still and sorted your books and documents, your underwear getting wet. Every half minute, you check like a hawk to see if you have wet your clothes, fearing that it has become a joke in the eyes of others…

He occasionally wanders into the library to check on your work and ask you to recommend books in a certain category or answer questions about the collection.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling uncomfortable?" Sunday approached you with caring eyes and ruthlessly pushed the controller frequency to the highest level. You lowered your head, holding back tears, your legs trembling. "I-I'm fine. Mr. Sunday. Thank you for your concern."

This kind-hearted gentleman and leader offers to take you to another secluded corner of the library to rest. On the road, Sunday dials down the vibration frequency and doesn't crank it up until you get to the corner. The intense ecstasy immediately hits you to the extreme and stimulates your nerves. You endured your moans, trembling in Sunday's arms as you reached orgasm. His hands caressed your hair like a lovable pet. He commented that your ability to endure needs to be improved.

After you get off work, Sunday asks you to take off all your clothes in the office and fold them on the table. He uses white gloves to inspect and rub your private parts, circling them with his thumb. In the watery light, those fingers slowly inserted between your legs and twitched. He clicked his tongue in disappointment when he realized that his fingers were already wet enough to slide into the inner walls before being inserted. "Not religious enough, are you? What are you thinking about? You're letting pleasure take over your body."

"...I'm sorry!! Mr. Sunday, Please give me a chance…" you begged with a sob, then cummed hard at his disappointed sigh.

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #sunday x reader #yandere honkai star rail #honkai star rail x you #yandere hsr #yandere hsr x reader #honkai x reader

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hihellogoodbyebruh · 3 months

Text

Give Me Back My Key

Pairing: Franklin Saint x Black!Plus Size!Reader Summary: Franklin crosses the line and you blow up at him. Now you have to hear some hard truths and decide whether or not you still want to be with him. Warnings: 18+, drug dealing, n-word usage, PIV, daddy kink, dirty talk, fingering, AAVE, possessive Franklin, bratty reader, referring to female genatalia as 'she', mentions of canonically dead characters as alive so this is kind of an AU but just go with it Word Count: 3,387 Author’s Note: My first finished piece of writing in like 3 years. A bitch is rusty but I’m just so happy to have something completed. I hope yall can find some enjoyment in it. I’m a Snowfall girlie now so hopefully there will be more coming after this. As always, questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed. Happy reading lovelies! xo

You entered your home after a long day at work, ready to soak in a bubble bath for an hour. Your boss had upped your hours, but did that come with a raise? Of course not. You hoped he would actually consider you for the new job opening in management but you weren’t holding your breath.

On the other hand, the extra hours were actually a God send. You had less time to sit at home missing your ex. Franklin Saint tore through your life like a tornado and left the wreckage of your heart behind.

You had no idea who he was when you first met. Your younger brother had dragged you along with him to Jammin Jerome’s to see if he had enough to upgrade his speaker system. Your brother had been geeking over the selection but his dream speakers were a bit outside of his price range.

The heartbroken look on your brother’s face was too much for you to handle and like always you tried to swoop in and save the day. Your mother worked so much to keep a roof over your heads as you grew up and your job was to look after your brother. You were basically another mother to him.

“Do yall have a layaway program or anything?” You asked, calculating in your mind how much you’d need to take out of your next check.

“No there ain’t no layaway. This ain’t no fucking charity.”

You squinted your eyes at the afro’d man and dug deep into your professional bag as not to cuss him out. “I understand. Is there anyway you can just hold them until Friday?”

The shorter man went to reply but he was cut off by Mr. Tall, Dark, and Sexy. “Yeah I can do that for you, but there’s a catch.”

You gave him a skeptical look. “What?”

He placed his hands on the counter and leaned a little closer towards you. “You gotta be the one to come back for them and you gotta let me take you out after.” He proposed, a smirk on his face.

Usually that might have pissed you off but there was something so charming about him. He immediately got your defenses down.

“Deal.”

His slick nature should have been a red flag but you were naive then. You couldn’t see past what was in front of you. A successful young Black man who was intelligent, passionate, and caring. He had goals and he knew who he was. You fell fast and you fell hard. He treated you like the most important person in his life.

After washing off the day’s sweat from your body, you put on your soft robe and proceeded to lotion up your body. A little self pampering after a hard day always helped to ease your racing brain and start to wind you down.

Franklin would love to get his hands on you and rub in your favorite scented lotion. He’d start at your feet and work his way up, taking extra time around your knees and then your thighs. He’d rub your belly and place kisses on your stretch marks. He never failed to make you feel so loved.

Months of dating flew by and even your families got along great. Your little brother looked up to Franklin as a man he’d like to emulate. He didn’t really have that before. Anytime you brought Franklin around, your brother was trying to get as much of his attention as you were. Franklin indulged him too. As annoying as it was, it warmed your heart to see the little bond they had.

By extension, you’d also noticed your brother getting closer to Leon as well. Since that first meeting, Leon was not one of your favorite people. You respected him as your man’s best friend but you saw him often on the street and you didn’t want your brother becoming interested in that.

Driving down the street a couple weeks ago, your worst nightmare was reality.

You almost got into a car accident the way you swerved your car across lanes when you saw Ryan doing a hand exchange with Leon.

You were haphazardly parked and out the car before your mind could catch up to what your adrenaline already set in motion.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” You yelled at Ryan, hands digging straight into his pockets and pulled out both money and rocks.

“Get off me, sis! What’s your problem?” He asked you, trying to grab his supplies back.

“What’s my problem?! You being fucking dumb is my problem. Get in the car!” You screamed, smacking him in the back of the head and pushing him towards the car.

“Consider him officially out.” You told Leon, tossing him the drugs and money.

You got in the car and drove straight to Franklin’s. Yeah you told Leon that Ryan is out, but you figured Franklin would talk to Leon for you so things actually stuck. They were best friends after all.

Ryan was clearly sulking as he followed you into the home. He stood against a wall with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

Franklin greeted you with a kiss on the lips. “Hey baby. What’s wrong with your bro?”

You hugged him, resting your head on his chest. He ran his hand up and down your back to soothe you. “I caught him slinging on a random corner. I gave Leon his shit back and told him that Ryan was out, but do you think you can talk to him for me? I want to make sure he doesn’t try to hire him again.”

You didn’t catch on to the awkward silence until your brother scoffed.

You lifted your head from Franklin’s chest to look at your sibling. “What?” You snapped.

“You called me dumb and yet you think Leon hired me.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

“This isn’t a joke! I will fuck you up, Ry.” You started to pull away from your man’s embrace to put hands on your brother but Franklin stopped you.

“Leon didn’t put him on the corner. I did.” Franklin declared, and your body froze. You could swear you went into shock.

You took a huge step back and out of his arms. “Excuse me?”

“I put him with Leon because I trust him and he’ll make sure he’s straight. You know how Leon is.”

Your head was spinning but you were quickly connecting the dots. You knew he had something going on in his past. Like maybe he used to sell weed, but you’d only seen his legitimate businesses. Now you felt naive as fuck. The pieces are coming together in your mind like a puzzle you finally figured out how to solve. The way his Uncle and Aunt always seemed to defer to him…the way he carried himself….he was the Boss.

“Why would you…” You couldn’t even get it out. You shook your head to try and clear the roaring in your ears.

“He’s smart, he’s quick, and he’s loyal. You don’t have to worry. Plus, he really wanted a job.” Franklin explained like he was simply going over your brother’s job application.

“Then you get him a job at Jerome’s! YOU DONT PUT MY BROTHER ON THE STREET. ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?” You exploded, hands clenching.

It was the first time he’d seen you blow up and you expected a greater acknowledgement of your angry. Ryan seemed to be the only one in the room who knew you were not playing.

Franklin merely stared at you with what you thought was cool indifference. “You need to calm down.”

You scoffed, in disbelief of his arrogant answer. If niggas have anything, it’s audacity. “You go behind my back and make my baby brother one of your street niggas and I need to calm down? Fuck you, Franklin.”

He stood up straight, using his height to tower over you and show how unamused he was. “Oh you've been doing a lot of that. And you didn’t see a damn thing wrong with it either.”

You nodded. “You’re right. This is on me. I brought you into his life but I’m gonna rectify that immediately. We’re done.”

You hadn’t seen Franklin in a week and you missed him so much. You missed his voice, the way he held you in his arms, and the uncanny ability he had to always just know what you needed.

You needed him.

But you can’t budge on this. This was your brother’s life and Franklin betrayed you by going behind your back. Speaking of Ryan, he’d also been suspiciously absent lately. He had been walking on eggshells since you blew up and you felt bad, but if your mother found out she’d actually kill him so better he deals with your anger than hers.

You entered the kitchen to grab some water and screamed when you noticed the figure sitting at your little kitchenette. “AHH!”

Sitting very comfortably in one of your chairs, legs spread and one arm resting on the table where a glass of your brandy sat was Franklin. There was also a large beautiful bouquet of roses on the table.

“Hey baby.” He casually greets you, taking a sip from the glass.

He looked good as hell but you still glared at him.

“How the hell did you get in here? Better yet, why are you here?”

“I missed you. I know you missed me too. Are you done being mad?”

You clicked your tongue. “Nigga you got some nerve. Yes, I’m still mad.”

He sucked his teeth at me. “I’m not gonna apologize for putting your brother on, but I’ll apologize for not giving you a heads up.”

“That’s not good enough. That shit is dangerous. I want him to get a degree and get out of here.”

“So you don’t believe in building back up the community? Keeping money and businesses in Black hands? You don’t want to raise a family where you grew up anymore?”

Yes, you still believed in all those things. You even understood that your people had to cut some corners to get a leg up because they’d already been held back from so long. But the road to get to the future was scary. You were scared but anger is a way easier emotion to hold on to.

“Give me my key.” You snapped, holding out your hand.

He took your hand in his, rubbing your wrist with his thumb before placing a kiss on your palm. “No.”

“Franklin!” You whined, stomping your foot before you could stop yourself. Yes, you were lowkey about to throw a fit but he was so damn annoying.

“If you want me gone, change the locks.” He challenged, placing a kiss on each of your fingers.

That action caused you to realize he still held your hand so you snatched it away. “Fine. I will. What do you want?”

“You. I want you back. The bed is cold without those warm thighs for me to lay between.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

He rolled his eyes and stood up. He walked you backwards until you hit the kitchen counter. You looked off to the side, unable to hold his gaze. You were weak for him. He placed his hands on your cheeks and gripped your face, turning it so you were nose to nose with him and eyes locked.

“I’m only gonna say this shit once. Ryan wanted in the game. He wanted to be a corner boy. He wants to hustle.” You tried turning away from him but you couldn’t pry his hands off your face so you ended up just holding his wrists. “If I said no, he would have gone somewhere else. Is that what you want? Him down in the bottoms with crazy ass Skully or becoming apart of Manboy’s crew?”

Your eyes fluttered close at his words and you released a loud sigh. He was right. God forbid your brother went to work for Manboy. You knew you couldn’t change Ryan’s mind about something as much as you couldn’t change your mother’s. They were alike in that way. You always played the middle trying to keep the peace.

Franklin placed a kiss on your forehead as you processed his words. He knew you needed time to sort out new information and check in with yourself. He loved that about you. You could blow up but you could also be reasoned with.

“I know how much you love your brother and because I love you he’s family to me too. I’m treating him just like family. The game is the game. You think I wouldn’t do everything I could to protect him? To protect your heart? You think that little of me?”

His words had your eyes snapping back open. “No. I know you’re a good man, Frankie.” You rubbed his wrists, your face still in his hands.

“Then you forgive me?” He asked, eyes pulling you in. You would willingly drown in those dark pools.

You nodded and he placed a soft kiss on your lips. God, you missed him. You pressed harder against him and deepened the kiss. It had been too long. He kissed you like you were his last source of air as he explored your mouth with his tongue. His hands left your face to trail down your back and grip your robe covered ass.

He sucked on your tongue before biting your lip. He gripped your thighs and hoisted you up, holding you against the countertop and grinding his hard dick against you. You yelped and wrapped your arms and legs around him.

“Oh my God! Put me down, Franklin.” You gasped as he placed open mouthed kisses on your neck. Your robe had fallen open and he was able to suck on your collarbone which made your head drop back.

He turned to place you on the table. Your ass bumped his glass and it, along with the bouquet, fell onto the floor. “Franklin!” You scolded, only to bite your lip when he lightly grabbed your neck.

“I let you get away with it before but that shits over now. What’s my name?” He asked, his thumb pressing right into the center of your neck.

Your pussy was dripping wet. “Baby, please.”

He squeezed a bit more before letting his hand slide down the opening in your robe. “Close but don’t worry sweetheart. I’ll remind you.” His free hand pulled on the sash and completely opened up your robe.

“Fuck, I missed you.” He groaned, eyes moving from your tits down your stomach to between your legs as you spread them further apart.

Your hands were exploring under his shirt, refamiliarizing yourself with the planes of his body. You slipped his shirt over his head and he bent his head to kiss your nipples.

“Mmm.” You moaned, head falling back as he took a nipple into his mouth. You could feel your pussy dripping wet. As he sucked on your titties, one of his hands reached between your legs and teased your folds. His fingers traced up and down your lips and your hips moved to press him harder against you.

“Look at how wet and eager you are. I know this pussy missed me. Didn’t she?” He asked, pulling away from your titties leaving them wet with his saliva.

“Yes, yes she missed you.” You gasped, desperate for more.

His middle finger slid up and down your slit before finally slipping into your pussy. You groaned at the feeling and he slipped another finger inside of you stroking your walls. His eyes remained on your face as he watched the love faces you made. He pressed his fingers deeper inside you and rubbed his palm against your swollen clit.

“Yes, yes, please….” You moaned, hands clutching the edge of the table. He was stroking you so good, but you needed more.

“Tell me what you need, pretty girl.”

“I need…ooh…I need your dick in this pussy.” You licked your lips as you reached out to unbutton his pants. You could see the print of his hard dick and you needed it in you now.

“After this tantrum of yours, beg for it.” He could feel your walls contracting around his fingers and knew you were about to cum. He wasn’t about to have that so he pulled his fingers out.

“Nooo…” You whined, scooting closer to the edge of the table to rub against him and get some more friction going. He held your legs open and leaned back just out of your reach.

“What did I say?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Please, Daddy. I’m sorry. Give me the dick. I need the dick.” You begged, voice just the right pitch of needy and desperate that he wanted to hear.

He pulled his hard, long, and thick dick out and stroked it as he stared at you. You bit your lip and gave him your most contrite look. He smiled at you and leaned in to kiss you softly on your lips.

You got so lost in his kiss. The way he moved from harsh to sweet was making your head spin. You just wanted anything and everything he was giving you. During the kiss, you gasped loudly into his mouth feeling his slide into your tight pussy.

“Shit..” He hissed, hips jacking forward to situate himself deep into your pussy. He was knocking up against your G spot and you were almost dizzy. After all that foreplay, you knew you wouldn’t last long. You were already squeezing his dick.

“I can feel that pussy finna cum. Let her rain on me, baby. I wanna feel it.” He told you, continuing to give you long deep strokes.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” You breathlessly moaned, head thrown back. “I’m bout to-” You don’t even finish your sentence as your orgasm eclipses your whole body.

“Just like that.” Franklin moaned, watching you as the pleasure blankets you. He loved watching you. You were so damn sexy. He never stopped stroking as your walls clamped down on him.

Your chest was heaving and you were feeling a bit tired. You felt Franklin speeding up his thrusts, his hips slamming against your ass. You were feeling a bit sensitive. “Ooh, wait Daddy…”

“Nah, ain’t no wait. This is part of your punishment. Let me look at that pussy.” He declared, bringing your legs up and smashing your knees into your chest. “Damn, look at her glistening for Daddy.”

“Mmnf!” You groaned, feeling the table shake under you at his hard thrusts. Your eyes closed as your body was completely worked over by him. He was fucking your soul.

You heard his moans and growls increasing frequency as his hips sped up. You could feel him everywhere. He was staking his claim on you. With a final deep thrust, you felt his cum release inside of you. You were on birth control but he was so damn far inside you felt like he was personally delivering his seeds to your ovaries. You’d have time to worry about that later.

He placed kisses along your thick legs as he slowly brought them back down to wrap around his waist. He’s still inside you and you haven’t moved at all. You couldn’t. You were wore the hell out.

You felt his eyes on you as he soothingly rubbed his hands up your thighs over your belly between your breasts and over your shoulders. He massaged you as he waited for you to regain yourself.

Your eyes opened and connected with his. You gave him your prettiest smile. “I love you.”

He smiled that rare grin of his. “I love you too.” He leaned in to kiss your lips and you closed your eyes leaning up to meet his lips only to be met with air.

Your eyes opened to see him staring down at you. “Don’t ever pull no shit like this again.” He sternly ordered.

You brought your hands up to rub his hair and cup the back of his head. “I won’t baby. I’m sorry.”

You were ready to accept Franklin for everything he is. He was your man and you were gonna stick beside him no matter what.

#franklin saint #franklin saint x black!reader #franklin saint x black!plus!sized reader #hhgbyebruh fics #give me back my key #black reader #plus sized reader #black!reader

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kenmakodz · 3 months

Text

CANDID LOVE ˙✧˖📷

06. brain food ☆

writing in-between cuts!

a quiet knock on the door catches your attention, which was previously focused on scrolling through random shows on Netflix. a weird feeling, you get. an emotion that seems to be the love-child of excitement and nervousness. there's no time to run away from these feelings, though, so you get up and open the door for the poor boy who's been hauling 3 bags of food.

"my god" he sighs, setting the bags down on the coffee table. "i think my stomach has eyes. there's no way we're finishing all this in one night." you laugh, noticing how he's holding his arm out of pain. "i've definitely done the same, more times than i'd like to admit-- here, sit down for a bit." gesturing to the couch, you sit down and pat a spot relatively close to you. he takes this offer with open arms, considering he'd walked pretty far. "sorry i took a while, hopefully i didn't keep you waiting too long?" his hands fidget together as he takes in your room. it's the size of a triple, but you have it to yourself. it's quite surprising how nice the school treats transfer students, considering how main students are usually shoved into a tiny room with 2-3 other people. you place your hand upon his; a ballsy move, but you know how it feels to be anxious about things. you don't want him to be anxious with you. "it's fine, really. i don't mind waiting for you." you smile, moving your hand back to it's previous position. embarrassment clearly runs through his body, but to you he just looked starstruck. after a moment of pushing these feelings back, he returns your smile. "i'm glad, then. um, can we eat? i fear my stomach is going to wrinkle up if we don't." "yes yuuta, we can eat."

"okay, okay. this seems good for now, i think?" he sits back from the laptop you two have been sharing, taking a second to re-read the outline. your eyes scan the page as well; it's a very.. rough outline. you start laughing at the last few lines, where he'd begun to give up on being professional. after all, only you two will see this draft. "why are you laughing?" he pouts, thinking you're making fun of the ideas laid out. "oh relax," you lean back with him, realizing he's gotten much closer than before. "i can just tell that you were rushing writing the final scene." his head whips to you and a hand clutches his chest, feigning shock; a sarcastic gasp falls from his lips. "how could you! we worked very hard on this!" your hand pushes his away from his chest, the both of them landing on his lap. "oh, shut up. i'm just teasing." he huffs anyways, a facade you've become accustomed to. after all, one of your best friends is nobara kugisaki.

reaching to a stuffed dog to your side, you hand it to him. "here, will an emotional support dog help?" he sighs, wrapping it in his arms. "i suppose." laughing again, you sit up and grab the laptop once more. "you're so dumb." he grips the toy more, you don't realize it, but he likes the way it smells of lavender just like you do. "what are you doing now, don't you think its enough for tonight?" you stop to think, after sending the draft to your phone. "well, we'll need to send casting calls to the neighboring schools sometime soon.. but i guess we can be done for now." he closes the laptop for you and places it on the table once again, looking back. "good, we can do that another time-" his sentence is cut off due to his phone practically blowing up in the room over. "sorry," he starts, getting up and handing the stuffed dog back to you. "let me go check on that."

"hey, sorry again. my friends were blowing up my phone for some reason." he comes back into the room where you two were sitting before, unsure if he should sit back down. he can't read your face, and you can't read his either, despite you both feeling the same way. "it's okay. you can sit back down if you want to stay a bit longer..?" you look down for a split second, anticipating the rejection he was about to give you. "i was looking for shows before you got here, but i couldn't find a good one." you try to convey what you say as a question, but it almost comes out as a plea. he doesn't say anything immediately, and you almost get upset? looking back up, you realize he's already getting ready to sit back down with you. "i'd love to stay. i also have an amazing suggestion for a show." your eyes light up, and it feels like the room filled with more air the way you both sighed with relief. "oh really?" you tease him, as he takes back the toy he'd left with you. "lay it on me then."

fun facts -> TWO PEOPLE PINING FOR EACHOTHER BUT NEITHER KNOW IT!!!! a classic trope. chefs kiss. yuuta offered to go get snacks not only because he was starving, but he also needed time to calm himself down before going to y/n's dorm. he was scared. scared that he'd say something stupid, give her the ick, embarrass himself. you know, the works. once he got there though, it felt like he never wanted to go home again.

-> GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCh. screams. kicking my feet like a little girl writing this chapter.

previous, masterlist, next [07. i hate men (except you two)]

taglist is open! @just-a-girlblogger @moryymor @swissy23 @hvnyacoded @sereniteav @k4romis @jayathelostdragon @h3rmess @olivandeee @lysaray @ari3000dontcare @raechu11 @marifujioka @nyxlai @sonicsolos @saltypuffin1040 @r0ckst4rjk @h8ani @lmaolmaolmao @maya-maya-56 @mittensdun @adrenova @pnkblueberry @morgyyyyyyy @chososwh0r3 @lunecqm @r4veeen @arivsx @levlucs-kiru @mellozhi

if you are in bold, i am unable to tag you :( and if i forgot to add you, PLEASE YELL AT ME

⤷ © kenmakodz

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cozygold · 3 months

Text

Mystery of Lilia's ring

Pt.I Pt.II

Lilia x reader

Warnings: angst/fluff, fem reader, general Lilia, possible spoilers for book 7, young Lilia and Sebek clutching their pearls because woman

Intro: Lilia wears a wedding ring under his gloves. However when asked he doges the question or makes up some silly excuse

Malleus is aware that he had wife. Lilia confirmed it a while ago but did not elborate further

It was only during the Malleus overblot incident that Diasnomia family found out about her and who she was

Tags: @koneko-dreams

"Hey! Rehabilitanion is necessery if you want to be able to move that leg not just drag it around"

(it takes place after Malleus have put everyone to sleep Silver/Sebek/Yuu watch Lilia dream play in front of them like movie)

"AUGH! HUMAN! I'm starting to doubt your validity as medic and suspecting you to be a professional torturer!"

Its been 2 months since Lilia was saved by a strange human. After agreeing to cooprate more his condition was quickly improving.

Most of the injuries healed however more serious ones still needed to be checked once a few days

(y/n) worked hard to help him recover feeling the pressure of time on her shoulders. It was only a matter of time as his soldiers come looking for him

Being gone for so long and finding him with a human will only cause trouble. They both knew that

"We have to get that leg moving"

"Aren't you doing that already?"

"Well, kind of. Its more of a warm up for you to stand on your own"

(y/n) backed away from the bed, examing him for a minute. She reached out her hands towards him

"Take my hand, try to stand up"

His eyes drifted between her and her palm, scowl making its way on his face. He ignored her hand, pushing himself of the bed with his own strenght

"I don't need your assistance with something as trivial as-"

His sentance was cut short when his legs gave up under his weight

"Lilia!"

(y/n) jumped forward, catching him in her arms

"I thought we went over this already! Quit-. Wait you're actually pretty light. That's great news! That armour of your made you waaay heavier!"

She rambled on as if unaware of the situation. Lilia was the opposite. His face was red, his pride hurt and head snuggled against human's chest

He sat there frozen. This warmth was comforting. He could stay here a bit-... No. What the hell is thinking! As if burned he tried to wiggle away from her grasp

"Unhand me, human temptress! What are trying to do?"

"Temptress? Well i'm flattered but you're the one who's fallen into my arms because of your arrogance. If you listined for once we wouldnt be in this situation in the first place"

Suddenly (y/n) felt a light bub light up over her head

"Lilia! If we're already in this position lets take advantage of it!"

She grabbed his hands placing them on her waist. The bat fae gave her look of utter shock and mild disgust

"I knew it! Shameless woman! Let go!"

"You're the one making this weird. I was just about to suggest a dance"

"A dance? Why-"

"Oh just let me finish. It clear that you're unable to stand alone. During the dance you can hold onto me while i guide you through the steps.

I will need you try to keep up with the rythm the best you can. This way i can monitor how well you're able to move"

Lilia hesitated. Dancing is something intimate to bat fae but she probably didn't mean anything by it. His recovery was going smoothly thanks to her care. There should be no harm to just go play along with it, right?

"...Fine"

"Great! Hold on me tight and follow my steps"

He gripped her waist tighter while she held his shoulders. She started softly singing to give him some music to dance to

There's a fire in my brain, and I'm burning up

Oh my, oh my

Keep running for the sink, but the well is dry

Oh my, oh my

Meanwhile Sebek, Silver and Yuu observing the dream

"I know this song! I think i caught father singing it a few times but he stopped as soon as he saw me"

"I heard Lilia singing it too while he walked around Ramshackle. It was a first time i saw him so...sad"

Silver and Yuu train of thoughts was broken by Sebek

"Master Lilia was right! What this woman is doing is completly inappropriate! Does she even know what action mean to bat fae?"

"She mentioned it was her first time treating a fae so she's probably not very in touch with their culture"

"Huh? What are you guys talking about"

Right. Yuu's a human too. They probably don't know the implications either

"For bat fae dancing and singing is a courting ritual. Father accpeting the dance offer pretty much agreed to be courted"

Yuu stared a them with wide eyes

"Hah! This human should feel honored"

Back to the dream

Its month of (y/n)s and Lilias daily dance sessions. The fae was now able to walk properly and felt as good as new. (Y/n) was amazed at his quick recovery, finally deciding to "discharge" him

And today was the day he finally left the cottage. He watched as (y/n) ran around the house like a chicken with its head cut off, gathering all the things she was going to give him on his trip back to the castle

"Here's your medicine! Remember to take it 2 times a day! Before breakfest and after dinner! If you fell like your leg is acting there's some pain meds in this pouch"

"(y/n)..."

"There's some food i prepared for journey. I made sure that it won't spoil for a long while. However just in case-"

"Oi, (y/n)!"

"Your clothes, spare bandages are in the green bag! You should be able to attach this water bottle to your belt but if you lose it there-"

Lilia grabbed her shoulder cutting her off and making her look at him in suprise. It was a first time he initiated any touch

"Did you just call me by my actual name?"

Lilia sighed ignoring her question

"I will be okay. Don't worry i will make sure your afforts won't be wasted"

(y/n) took a deep breath calming her rapid heartbeat

"Okay. Just remember. If you ever need a check up, you can count one me. I will try to fix this cottage up so you'll know where to find me"

She smiled walking him to the front door. It was dark outside. Lilia insisted that on going out late at night to decrease the risk of running into humans

"Human"

He turned his head towards you

"Despite my mistrust, i am indebted to you. If you need any favors just ask"

(y/n) huffed

"I already explained that i'm just doing my duty. I don't have anything to ask of you"

"I insist"

"But-"

"I insist"

"Ugh-fine then!"

Her cheeks flushed red while she thought about the right words to use for the request

"C-can we spend some time together sometimes? Not like patient and a doctor anymore but like....friends?"

Lilia looked at her with wide eyes. This was the last thing he was expecting. Human asking a fae war general to be their friend? To think he live enough to hear such a thing

He burst out laughing

Its been years since he laughted so genuinely. This preposterous request and this whole situation now looked like big joke

"REALLY?! When i tell you what i want you just laugh at me?! You know what forg-"

"Fine"

"Huh"

"I will see you again, human. You're amusing and proven to pose no threat"

Lilia leaned closer to her face, smirking

"Make sure to keep yourself alive untill i come back"

Another month gone by

(y/n) spent it travelling around possible battle scenes, looking for any victims that might need assistance.

She tried to fix up the cottage as well as she could with her limited recources. It still looked ran down but at least it wasn't leaking anymore. And it actually sheilded her from wind. Mostly

It was a peacefull spring evening. Its a busy season for her. Many herbs bloom and grow only during that time

She spent her whole day roaming around the forest gathering them. The sun slowly dissapearing behind horizon, its rays coating the forest in warm glow

As beautiful as it was she knew that she has to hurry home. During the night time fae were the most active

She heard rustling of bushes behind her. A shiver went up her spine. She slowly turned around

There was nothing there

She let out a nervous giggle

"Haha, i'm must be getting paranoid"

"Good evening, human"

A voice spoke next to her. She let out a yelp and jumped back. Just about when she was about to throw a rock at the offender she reconized the pair of familiar red eyes

Now hanging upside down from the tree

"HAVE YOU GONE MAD?! I WAS ABOUT TO BASH YOUR BRAINS IN WITH THAT ROCK?!"

"That pebble and your twig arms would have done nothing to me"

"Why you-"

She was about to berate him futher before she noticed. His legs were hooked around the branch

"For you to hang like this... It means your leg is doing great"

"Of course it is. I'm not as weak as your mortal brethren"

"Same as always, i see. I'm glad to have you kept your word. Come on, come on! I will brew us something delicous and nutritious"

As soon as they reached the house (y/n) got to work. Lilia shifted uncomfortably. He didn't know the exact reason but he felt nervous. Its been a while since he just hanged out with someone outside his work

"I-its umm. Looks like you did some renovations. I don't feel as much wind on my back as i used when i first stayed here"

"I'm glad you noticed! I was tired of being woken up by droplets of water dripping on my forhead. But its still not completly cold or wind proofed. I'm lucky its spring otherwise i would be freezing to death here"

She giggled making a joke of situation. Do all humans treat their fragility with such humor. For some reason he didnt find it as funny as she did.

"We talked enough about me when we met. What about you Lilia? How have you been doing?"

"The queen seemed to buy my lie about escaping after being caught by a opposing army. There should not be any more issues"

"That's great! What about the Maleanora? You seemed worried about her"

Lilia crossed his arms leaning against the chair

"I was. She is reckless and has quite the temper. I know she can handle herself very well but at the time you found me, she was carring her egg"

"Egg?"

The bat groaned, annoyed at her ignorance

"How you can stay so deep in Briar Valley's territory, yet know nothing about the royal family?"

She shrugged

"I try to keep a low profile. Information about Draconias is of no use for me"

"Let me help you be a little less ignorant then. The draconias are dragon faes meaning they hatch from eggs. The Princess recently had hers"

"Oh that wonderful news for the faes right? Their royal family is going to have heir"

"It may be but that's also more work for me. The Princess is easier to anger than ever"

She giggled, stirring the stew boiling in the pot

"Are you prehaps not good with dealing with woman? This way you're going stay unwed forever"

"I was not planing on having a family anyways. I'm way to busy and find children crying unbearable"

"Haha, i'm not the least suprised you feel that way"

"What about you? Are you not afraid that you're going to rot into forest moss before you find someone you can marry? You seem to hardly ever leave this forest"

"Hey! I found you so theres still hope right?"

Lilia felt his cheeks burn, he quickly avoided her gaze

"Me? As if! Fae and human marriage will never be officiated"

"I just meant that if i found you in this forest, it means there's a chance i can find another. You're interpreting my words wrong~"

She took up the opportunity to tease him. Enjoying the sight of scary general stumbling on his words

"You're the one making everything suggestive! I swear you play innocent but its all on purpose!"

"Oh the food is done"

Her attention shifted the stew. She took a big spoon, pouring them both a portion.

"Eat up~"

" ... thank you"

Lilia mubled and took a sip of stew. Taste of fresh mushrooms, potatoes and meat floading his mouth. Human cooking was diffrent from faes.

But it wasn't bad. Comforting. Not just the food but her presence. As much as he hated to admit it, she completly made him lower his guard

He felt like shedding his armor to bask in her presence like a cat in the sun. He knew its all temporary. The longer he will stay the more anguish it will bring him in the future

He knows it

He should turn back while he still can. Run away before the flame envelops him completly

But he didnt

#Spotify #twisted wonderland #twst lilia #twisted wonderland lilia #lilia imagines #lilia x reader #lilia headcanons #lilia vanrouge #twisted wonderland imagines #twst x reader

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ofallthingsnasty · 1 month

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tw: workplace harassment, mental illness, gn reader, make sure to read the last paragraph as well characters: Crocodile, Doflamingo word count: 1k

While I may be suffering from "I'm a total newbie and scared shitless of my boss" disease + an anxiety disorder, this would be so perfect for either Crocodile and Doflamingo.

Just think about it… You just started working for one of them - and both men certainly demand respect, can be quite scary when provoked, but you think you can weather any storm that might be coming your way. You’re grown, you’ve got bills to pay, they’ve been professional enough so far, it won’t be too bad, right? Oh, stupid, stupid you - because they can smell your little authority figure issues ten miles upwind.

Both notice that you're green, easily impressed and hurried by their presence, notice how sweaty your hands and furrowed your brow gets - and both definitely corner you; try to get you into a frenzied state, right into panic mode just because it’s fun to see how you slowly fly off the hinges. They both toy with you in their own ways - Crocodile is just always standing behind you, silently watching, only the smell of smoke and his cologne telling you he's right there, looming over your shoulder. He enjoys the way your hands shake with whatever it is you’re doing, how you cough and shift around while he does absolutely nothing. His mere presence makes you so antsy he doesn't even have to say something and his silence is easily interpreted as criticism and mistrust by your anxious little brain. It only gets worse when he never talks about his little staring/surveillance sessions, never explains why he randomly shows up at your desk or workstation, never asks you for a word afterwards - you always feel like you’re not good enough, that no matter how long you’ve been by his side, he needs to check up on you. He’s an imposing man, too - so much bulk and smoke, just the thought of him asking you for a vis-a-vis keeps you up at night. And every day, every week spent fretting over him and his perception of you (coupled with the fact that you really, really need this job) makes you more and more insecure, makes it hard to unwind after yet another long day, makes you overanalyze every single glance, every word and move of his. He slowly creeps into your after-hours, your conversations with friends, your weekends, even your vacations. And he can tell. Crocodile notices the slight, subtle changes. The way you smooth over your clothes before talking to him, how you place an index and middle finger over sternum as if to shield yourself from him, the fucking cold sweat shining on your forehead whenever he does question a decision of yours with a gruff bark. The way you avoid his eyes, stumble over your own feet in a hurry, the way he can see that you sleep worse and worse - that’s how he knows he's got you hooked, fully and wholly. That all you're thinking about is him and work and pleasing him and being good at work and again, him and work and him and- Your job is the only thing in your life now, from the moment you wake up to the time you lay your head down to sleep, everything is consumed by thoughts of him and his opinions about you and your abilities, always aiming to please and so, so nervous to fail. It’s perfect.

Doflamingo is way more vocal about it. He'll throw your work right back into your face, all sneers and acid tongue. It’s just not enough, never enough, reflects badly on him, on his company - whatever it is you do, it hails nothing but criticism and mockery and late nights to fix your stupid mistakes. He doesn’t even give you moments of rest, he just constantly picks on you until you’re seriously considering just resigning for your own mental health. He’s methodically destroying your self-esteem, makes you doubt your own abilities - you know you shouldn’t let him creep into your head as much as he does, but when all you hear is that you’re so fucking bad at your job, how much you suck - it sticks. You’re so stressed because of him you almost have a panic attack over putting your two weeks in and despite your suffering, you keep procrastinating, keep telling yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, when you have had a full night’s sleep. Problem is - you never do. He can tell by the way you’re idling, fiddling with the straps of your bag whenever he comes in for the day that you’re trying to leave - but that you're simply too scared of his reaction to pull the trigger. And that right there; that fear, that pedestal you put him on is the perfect breeding ground for all sorts of unethical things he can push you to do for him. He starts out small; things like getting him coffee in the mornings when you never did that before, a too-warm, lingering hand on your shoulder, a comment about your outfit - every little thing is calculated, tailored to slowly destroy your boundaries while you fear him more and more, give him way more authority over your life than you should. He knows it’s psychological, that someone else might be able to flip him off and leave without ever thinking twice about him. But you… You have accepted him as the one part of your life everything hinges on - you give him all that power in your sick little brain. Oh, he’ll use it well. The fun has only just started, rest assured.

And while Crocodile gets to click his tongue, scoff and tell you that he'll take over from now on because clearly - you're just not capable and you obviously need him (not only at work but also in your whole life, silly), Doflamingo taunts you and tells you to make yourself useful, then, if you can't even do your job right. Maybe sucking his dick is your true calling - come on, let's see if you can do at least one thing right. One man wants to take your life over completely, sees you as the malleable (perfect) mess that you are, with all the potential that comes with it - and the other just wants to fuck you up for the next decade of your life, wants to be reason you wake up in the middle of night because his vicious smile still bounces around in that head of yours

#crocodile x reader #doflamingo x reader #one piece x reader #ah... if only crocodile decided to fuck me up and make me worse.. only for him to swoop in and use it as an excuse to wife me up... hmmmm..#/crocodile #/doflamingo #/one pice

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aaaaafro · 1 year

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You're not wearing that to sleep too - LE SSERAFIM - Yunjin x M! Reader (+18)

Pt 1 here

tw: wall-seggs, creamy-pie, mommy-kink obvsly

"You have got to be kidding me!"

You're supposed to have learned from your mistakes but yet here you are, your girlfriend fuming from your stupid retort as she finally enters your room right after finishing her schedules.

Perhaps you could've cut her some slack about proper slumber attire, given that she'd just finished a night full of exhausting activities.

"We've already been over this, haven't we baby?" Pouty Yunjin replies as she's finally right in front of you.

"B-but I'm just saying–... You might get c-cold from your sweat-." A finger on your lips halts your pathetic excuses.

"You're really gonna try your luck with me again, baby boy?" Yunjin really knows how to tick your buttons right after your first.

You've noticed this way back, like a week after your first intercourse and you've been wary about it. She'd always play the teasing game. When you bring her food during practice, the two of you would sit right in front of each other while her members are right beside you.

And before you know it, her foot starts playing 'find the flaccid member' under the table. Obviously if it was just the two of you, you'd gladly spread your legs for her convenience but since her members are literally shoulder to shoulder with the two of you, you'd get defensive and try to swat it away with a knee. She'd stop after a minimum of three attempts.

But it doesn't stop there. There's even that time where they're practicing vocals and you'd be in the control room supervising. In the midst of singing she'd nonchalantly call you 'baby boy' with a wink, the other members and the mixer's reaction as given would be that they'd just smile at you awkwardly.

This is almost your daily life, having to be their manager, her other members are all normal with you. It's just Yunjin, but obviously you two wouldn't have a normal professional relationship.

"You know what, you're right, I shouldn't wear this." Baffled at how she didn't really put up a fight this time, but then again maybe you're dismissing the fact that she might be too exhausted.

"Y-yeah, now go get c-change–... uh..." Halted in your proper state of mind as Yunjin starts undressing right in front of you.

"J-jen..." She just raised a brow at your call, how can you blame her when all you could do is stare at her since your brain couldn't produce anything, as she continues to discard parts of her outfit.

With the last earring being tossed off to god knows where, she sways side to side to check for anything or for you to check on her. You couldn't really take it all in, though you're disappointed that Yunjin actually left her underwear on, expecting her to go all bare skin on you.

"Shall we?" You hear Yunjin's voice behind you.

Only then you realize that Yunjin actually manages to leave your vision yet leave the image of her godlike figure right in front of you. Disbelief floods your mind but then again it's Yunjin we're talking about.

The two of you entered your bedroom as she just goes straight to bed tucking herself in leaving plenty of room for you on her side. Still trying to process everything you stood there staring at her, a good minute passes and Yunjin has had enough; "Yoohoo! What's wrong?"

"S-sorry but... aren't you gonna put on your pajamas or anything?" You asked as she just scoffs.

"Aren't you the one insisting I wear nothing to bed?" replies Yunjin with such sarcasm.

"Jen."

"Either you join me now or watch me leave with just my underwear on." She threatened.

With no more arguments needed to be made as you threw yourself onto the cushion landing right beside your girlfriend. Yunjin then quickly engulfs you into her embrace, just the way her skin feels over your clothes, made you jealous of her lack of clothing. She then gave a good squeeze in on your clothed member causing you to tense up.

"Easy there big boy! Aren't we supposedly sleeping?" And god she's back in her ways.

"Or do you wanna sleep with nothing on as well?" Her hot breath brushing against your ear causes you to squirm under her touch.

Just as your stimulus was about to hit an all time high, you hear Yunjin's soft chuckles. Turning yourself towards her, Yunjin immediately hides herself under the blanket. It's really evident how she's broken into a laughing fit as the fabric rises and falls comically.

"Ya!" You started pulling off the blanket.

"I-i'm sorry..." Yunjin pleads as she pulls back.

"Tsk!" A click of your tongue alerts Yunjin as she slowly peeks through her blanket shield.

"Babe?" She softly called as you just sat down at the edge of the bed facing away from her.

Realizing the urgency of the situation Yunjin slithers right behind you before capturing you in her arms once more and saying; "Hey~... I'm sorry."

You're fighting a losing battle, as you try your best to act angry at her teasing while Yunjin's lips peck at your nape. Your resolve must remain, despite the feel of her soft lips connecting directly on your skin.

"Babe... come on, please~..." Her pouty tone successfully makes your head turn to take a peek at her face.

"You know, I'm just kidding right? Let's go back to bed, please?" Pathetic as it sounds, you just surrendered and let Yunjin pull you back to laying down.

She even successfully placed the two of you in a spooning position, obviously with Yunjin being the small spoon, her hand guiding yours to her small waist.

"I love you baby." She whispers before letting out a huge sigh.

"I love you more." You answered as you pulled her in more before pressing your face on her messy hair inhaling the intoxicating scent of your girlfriend.

Finally falling into a serene state of relaxation. Your mind was finally able to calm down, after all you've been subjected to countless teasing from your girlfriend. Being stressed out about what people would think about your relationship is currently, you began to dream. Dating back to your first time the two of you succumb to your bodily desires.

The feel of it, the sheer ridiculousness of the reason the two of you decide to go all the way, remembering all of it, your mind suddenly went back to the earlier moments before the two of you went to bed. Now you're questioning yourself, if you weren't so proper about sleeping etiquette, you could've gotten another chance to go all the way.

You're now beating yourself up in your dream trying to wrap yourself around the idea of having another shot at heaven with your girlfriend. The image of Yunjin in her outfit from earlier flashes right in front of you, being the dream that it is you just stood there and admired her.

When all of a sudden the image of Yunjin starts approaching you. Just as she's right in front of you, her heat radiates greatly. Perhaps it's the proximity or just the pure energy coming off of your girlfriend, but nonetheless it was really h-hot.

"Baby." Her soft vocals trickles in your ear as you watch her hand along with those furry armbands brush across your cheeks.

"Did you know how close I was to breaking earlier?" You're motionless, after all you're asleep and this is all a dream. Or is it?

"Feeling you in my hand earlier twitching really made me so turned on baby..." Yunjin whispers before her other hand travels to great distance and landing right on top of your semi-hard member.

"Nngghnngg." Such a waste of struggle to contain your excitement as she starts fondling your now fully erect rod.

With her hands doing wonders on you down under, her lips weren't one to be left unattended. Yunjin starts planting soft kisses around your face, leaving kiss marks on it like her life depended on it. Then you questioned such realistic feeling for a dream and just as she finally connects her lips with yours and probes her tongue in.

Your eyes suddenly jolt open and despite the dim light coming from the night lamp right beside your bed you're able to see Yunjin on top of you with the same situation as your dream but only this time, you're laying down and it's actually happening.

Another thing you questioned is how in the fuck is Yunjin back with her outfit from earlier?! With earrings and all of that. You glance at the clock realizing it's already pass midnight. However, your eyes wonders back to your girlfriend who looking down on you as she readjusted herself. Lowering down her hips on yours as her toned legs trap you.

"W-wha–...” Your words failed to come out as she place a finger on your lips.

"Ssshhh... If you're going to say something..." Yunjin's face comes closer to yours.

"Say 'please mommy'." She continued.

Fuck, this is what you're worried about, with her senses coming back like from your first time, you always knew you've woken something up inside her. From her constant teases to her unsubtle advances. This newly developed kink of your girlfriend is something you're not really a big fan of.

"J-je–." Perhaps the suddenty of the action was too much but the pain that comes after it is greater.

You'll regret ever trying to act normal when Yunjin is already in her zone as you try and massage the pain off of your cheek. You then feel Yunjin starts grinding her lower regions down and even though her shorts are back on you couldn't help but notice a faint feel of wetness right on your clothed member.

"Hhhmmm... you like this naughty boy?" She asks before picking up the pace and adding more weight behind her.

"F-fuck–.” You cursed seeing Yunjin bite her lip trying her best to hold back her moans.

Her hand on your chest to support herself as her gyrating hips becomes more and more feral her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she finally lets put a long airy gasp. Stopping to calm down she rises from your pelvis only for you to see a small dripping coming from her shorts. Did she just squir...

You couldn't even ask it complete since, Yunjin left the bed to lean towards the wall of your room. Still catching her breath she looks back at you with a visible flush on her cheeks before she starts fidgeting her fingers.

"Je-... M-mommy..." You called but Yunjin just ignored you and continued to focus on her fingers.

Standing up from the bed to approach her, as your curiosity peaks as to what's happening to her. On the floor you can see traces of Yunjin's precious liquid. She's obviously pretending to do something but you can clearly see her sneak a few glance at you as you're inching closer and closer.

"Mommy..." Yunjin's attention finally diverts back to you as soon as you're standing right in front of her.

"Baby..." She called with such a soft yet so fucking arousing tone.

Your eyes meet and the first thing you notice is how needy she looks. Her eyebrows furrowed but not in an angry type of way. It instead compliments her watery eyes as she squirms a bit, trying to rub her legs together for the slightest bit of sensation. You finally got her message as she starts biting her lip and reaching down your pants.

You quickly discard the obstruction and your member sprung up before landing on her hand she gives it a few quick rubs before pulling you into her. As you press your body against her you can't help but chuckle at the sight of Yunjin being so needy.

"I need my baby boy to fuck me hard now." Her shaky voice was something you weren't expecting. After all Yunjin has been putting up a strong front.

"Oh mommy, you look so needy right now." You smiled seeing the shock look on her face after the comment you've made.

"A-ha..." She fake a laugh.

"You better watch your mouth little boy before I – fuck-." Her retort was cut short as you press your leg in between her thighs.

You can feel the heat from her core as you press your leg harder against her core and even with the shorts in the way, the arousal she had earlier is still evident.

"You're not wearing that to sleep." You announce with such confidence that crumbles Yunjin's.

"W-wh... why?" Her cute soft whine at the end almost made you wanna just consume all of her but that's for later, you're gonna enjoy yourself for a bit.

You then lean into her a bit drawing your mouth closer to her ear to whisper your answer; "because I'm gonna ruin it for you."

A gasp left Yunjin as her breathing becomes more and more harsher and her hand even more, pumping you like there's no tomorrow, she starts grinding on your leg spreading her lil' liquid gold.

"Baby boy, please fuck mommy now." She whines pressing her head on your chest as her hips do wonders to make you feel how aroused she is.

"Alright mommy." Your hand quickly reached for the slit of her shorts before ripping it open.

And that's when you noticed that Yunjin is actually not wearing anything underneath.

"F-fuck baby." She cries.

You prompted her legs up on your arms using the wall as the base for her back, spreading her up like a butterfly as you didn't even care how hard the situation is... since you're always fucking harder for Yunjin.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Your girlfriend asks as she hooks her arms around your neck for support.

You didn't even try to answer her with words, you just finally lined your member to her entrance. Feeling how wet she is just made your rod twitch. You then feel the anticipation from Yunjin as she watches carefully how slowly you disappear inside of her.

"Mhmmm fuucckk!" Her moans are heavenly as always.

Doing some final readjustments on her leg as you brace your leg firmer against the floor, giving a final smirk to Yunjin who's too focus on suppressing her moans as you moved your mouth next to her ears before giving it a lick and saying; "I love you mommy."

A soft smile from Yunjin was the signal you needed before slamming yourself as hard as you can inside her. Her whole body quivers just as you're starting to imprint yourself inside her and Yunjin to the wall.

You've always known that Yunjin's voice is heavenly when singing but it's fucking night and day when there's no distinct tone or rhythm that she needs to follow. Just pure lust and desire oozing out of her mouth as she takes you in and out of her wet snatch.

Sounds of moist skins slapping echoes as your unrelenting lust reached an all time high. You're even going as far as you can inside of your girlfriend who's currently a moaning mess. You honestly could've gone forever but your leg started to cramp and that made you pause.

"Nnnhhnhnnggg!" Yunjin whines as you halt your movements and reach for your leg trying to massage the stinging pain away.

Unbeknownst to you. Your girlfriend starts bouncy once more. Brushing off the pain you focused yourself on supporting her as she does the job for you.

Though the stinging nerves in your leg are still acting up, seeing how enthusiastic Yunjin is as she does her best to impale herself with your rod. You just couldn't help but get motivated.

You shook yourself convincing yourself that the cramp is all in your mind and Yunjin is all on your member as you place her down before prompting her to face the wall. She gladly does so before spreading her legs giving you a full view of her dripping core and clench behind.

Obviously you'd be dumb not to give it a good spank. That made Yunjin yelp but before she could even put up her mommy act you've already penetrated her causing her words to be mangled into moans.

"Didn't I tell you, you're not wearing that to sleep?" Yunjin looks back before giving you a devilish grin.

If her intention is to motivate you then she's successful. From the behind you pulled her up by the hair to place her face on the wall as your hands travel to her chest. Feeling the openings of her vest thingy your fingers slipped in and without further ado. You pulled them apart earning a gasp from Yunjin.

Your hands quickly find its way towards her exposed orbs as you start pumping in and out of her while kneading her perfect chest. With her vest dangling off of her back. You found your opening and peppered her sweat back with kisses that added the sensation as if all of the things that you're doing isn't enough yet.

"F-fuck baby, I'm so fuck–close!" Her high-pitched plea makes you feel nothing but energetic.

Though you cant lie you're not far from climaxing yourself and you don't want her to feel lonely so you moved your lips closer to her ear.

"Me too mommy." You can clearly see the grin on her face as she starts throwing herself back towards you.

A few more pumps in and Yunjin's core and body starts to twitch, she then threw her head back before letting out a soft whimper as she bites her lips trying her best to hold out. Seeing her struggle to contain her orgasm. Your balls tighten as you bury yourself as deep as you can in Yunjin.

Waves of pleasure and semen floods the two of you as you're legs now crumble. The two of you collapsed down as you supported Yunjin's back but with your head on her neck you couldn't help but take in her post sex scent.

"T-that was..." Yunjin's breathing is certainly not normal as she tries to find something to best describe what just happened.

"That was." You replied but implementing that the experience didn't need any descriptive words.

You two smiled at each other, as your strength finally recovers, you quickly got up and carry Yunjin bridal style. You couldn't help but notice the pooling love liquid from where she was sitting.

Placing Yunjin down the bed as you quickly followed. The two of you faced each other as she flash you that innocent smile. Suddenly she brought her hand up but just as it landed on your cheek you realized something.

She hasn't removed the pom wristbands. Yunjin notices that you're looking at them as she pulls her hand back. A quick flying kiss flew towards you before she turns away. You could only chuckle before bringing her into your embrace and the two of you succumbed to your slumber.

#le sserafim #le sserafim smut #le sserafim x reader #le sserafim Yunjin #huh yunjin #yunjin smut #Yunjin

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gavisuntiedboot · 1 year

Note

Bestieee if you're taking requests, could you write about dom! Gavi and like degr@dat!on. Idk why I'm so nervous writing this request lol but love your work xx

Okay so I know I have a lot of other requests in my inbox but I feel like writing a bit of smut today so that’s what we’re gonna do ladies. SMUT!! MDNI!! 18+!! IF UR A MINOR GO AWAY!!!

Hands on Learning

“Could you please not slam the doors?”

You looked at Gavi seething. Everything in the world was irritating you today. Everyone was breathing too loud. You had been caught in the pouring rain, slipping multiple times due to your heels. You had gotten coffee on your favorite white blouse, causing you to be late for an important meeting. But more than that, your coworker Antony was getting too comfortable with you again. He would lean his hand on you, put his arms across your shoulders, and call you “sweetheart” despite multiple requests for him to stop. He walked you to your car after multiple offers to buy you drinks, telling you that your “little boyfriend” could wait a little longer. As you told him to fuck off in the most professional way possible, you got the text from Gavi.

“Traffic accident on the road cause of the rain. Be careful driving home.”

It was a sweet message. He had checked your route and was now concerned about your safety. But you didn’t want it - not today. Today you were annoyed and this didn’t help. You didn’t want him to be nice. You wanted to unleash your anger on someone, but Gavi, sweet and loving as he was, gave you no reason to. So now you were speeding on the highway to Gavi’s, cursing yourself for promising to come over for dinner. All it took was this simple request for you not to ruin his doors to set you off.

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do.”

Gavi raised one eyebrow at the reply, watching you bend over to take your shoes off.

“Bad day?” He asked, trying to keep his voice mellow and understanding. Pablo Gavi was gentle by nature. He was not someone that enjoyed raising his voice or using harsh language. But when he got heated, all bets were off the table. He was ready to swear, yell, hit things - Pablo was the definition of fuck around and find out.

“I don’t want to fucking talk about it.”

Your shoes were off as you made a move towards the bedroom to get changed, not sparing a glance over your shoulder. A hand tugged your wrist, and you were pulled back suddenly, until you felt the wall behind you, a hand slammed roughly beside your head. You were caged in against the wall by Gavi’s arm, his eyes burning into you. His tongue ran along his teeth, and the “I messed up” feeling started to sink in.

“I don’t know who you think you’re giving that tone to, but you should know better than to use it with me.”

Your eyes met his, eyebrows still knitted together in anger, but the fear causing your body to tense and a knot to form in your throat. He brought a hand to your face, running his thumb across your bottom lip. A shiver runs through you, causing him to smile viscously.

“I don’t know what the fuck is your problem today. I frankly don’t fucking care. You’re going to learn today that little sluts like you need to have some respect.”

Pablo slams himself into you, lips bruising yours from the force. Teeth clash as you try to keep up with his pace, but it’s so much that once he pulls away your gasping for breath.

“Pablo, Pablo I’m-“

“What? You’re sorry now?” He narrows his eyes and spits out a laugh. The wetness between your legs continues to grow - you had brought out this side of Gavi before, and it was always the best fuck of your life.

“You don’t get to be sorry now, whore. Oh no. Little sluts like you don’t get off with an apology.”

He pulled you in by your throat, kissing you harshly as his fingers pressed into the flesh, cutting off the blood flow and making spots appear on your vision.

“Little sluts like you are too brain dead from being fucking into oblivion.”

He held your collar, pulling you into the bedroom. Your knees hit the back of the bed, Pablo’s grip the only thing keeping you from falling.

“Little sluts like you need to be taught lessons. They need to feel their punishments so they can remember.”

He placed his fingers on the center of your blouse, fingers slipping in between the buttons. You wanted to beg him to leave your favorite shirt alone, but you were too hazy from the thrill of Gavi speaking to you like this that you didn’t care.

“Because no one likes a cum dump with an attitude.”

He gripped your blouse tightly and pulled, muscles flexing as he ripped the short open, buttons rattling to the floor. It wasn’t enough. He placed his hands on the back seam, ripping it open as well. The tearing sound only make you more wet as he pulled the two halves from your torso, leaving your bra exposed to him. He pushed you back on the bed, fingers hooking into your skirt and pulling it down.

He kissed the “6” anklet that dangled off on you, looking up at you from between your legs. He kissed up your legs, placing a kiss on your clothes core. You whimpered, eager for more than just the light pressure of his lips on your panties. He slid an arm under you, and flipped you onto your stomach. He placed an arm either side of you, coming closer to your ear.

“Aw poor thing. Now you want to beg and cry? Now you want to let out those sweet little sounds that you know drive papi crazy. I hope you don’t think that’ll make me go easier on this pathetic little pussy.”

He kissed at the protruding vein on your neck, causing your moans to get louder and less restricted. Your ass arched up into him, grinding against his hardening cock.

“Such a good whore that you just grind into my dick ok instinct.”

He keeping kissing down your back until he reaches the hand of your bra, unhooking it quickly and letting it fall.

“Let me see those tits. How many guys have known how truly depraved you are? So hungry for this cock you can’t even speak.”

He leaned back up, grabbing your hips and grinding into your ass. He ran his hands on the tights covering your legs, grabbing them at the center. You waited with bated breath to hear the fabric rip, but it never came. You looked over your shoulder at him, eyes swimming with lust.

“Beg.”

He was looking down at you, smirking widely with his tongue in his check. His hand was circling your ass, feeling the warmth of the flesh beneath his palm. You buried your face in the pillow, your eyes burning and pussy dripping. You wanted him to fuck you, no, needed him to fuck you until you went limp. But you weren’t prepared to beg for it. A sudden smack landed in your ass, causing you to gasp and yelp in surprise. You lurched forward at the impact, falling forward onto the mattress. Another one landed in the same spot, this one harder.

“So fucking rude. So fucking stubborn. So undeserving of this fat cock. But you’ll die without it won’t you?”

Smack. Smack. A fist in your hair, tugging you upward to rest on your elbows again. Another hard smack, your ass getting redder with every one.

“You’ll fall apart if you’re not bouncing on top of m, pussy clenching around me. I bet your cunt is crying right now, wanting me to fuck it so bad. I know exactly what your dirty disgusting little brain is thinking: I wish Papi would fuck me to death.”

Tears were steaming down your face, more being created with every harsh smack to your ass. But you were so fucking turned on and aching, clenching around nothing.

“I’m not going to stop. Aggressive cunts like you don’t get mercy. The only way I’ll let up on your poor blushing ass if if you beg. So beg, puta.”

It took everything in you to muster some voice.

“P-please. Please please Pablo.”

His grip on your hair tightened, pulling you further back. Your scalp began to burn from the pulling.

“Please what? What do you want from me?”

You looked at him with puffy red eyes and swollen lips as he waited for a response. He lifted a hand to his ear, pretending he couldn’t hear you.

“Pablo please. I need you.”

“Need me for what?”

“Fuck me Pablo!! I need you to fuck me! Please please plea-“

Your begging was interrupted by the sound of fabric tearing, Gavi finally tearing your tights apart, the gaping hole giving him access to your panties .

“Look at how big this fucking wet spot is. You really are a fucking slut. Look how much you want to swallow this dick. You want it? How bad?”

“So bad Papi! So so bad. Please fuck me.”

At your begging, he pushed your head into the mattress, moving your panties, gripping them tightly to rip them in half. The pieces hung off in you as he ran a finger through your folds, feeling your wetness as he slid his pulsing erection into you with one hard thrust. You gasped out, gripping at the sheets.

He placed his hands on your hips, and started to fuck you with reckless abandon. Skin slapping was heard around the room, coupled with your high pitched moans and Pablo’s low, guttural gasp. He pulled you into him as he trust, cock hitting you deeply. He moved one hand up to grab at your boob, fucking you fast and hard.

“You want to cum baby?”

The question had you seeing stars. You wanted to cum around him so bad.

“Please papi. Please. Wanna cum. Let me please.”

Gavi smiled at how fucked out you were. You couldn’t even form a full sentence with his coco buried deep inside you.

“Tell me you’re sorry for being bitchy to me earlier.”

He smacked your ass again, and you cried out louder than you ever had. You were getting closer to the edge until he stopped abruptly, pulling his whole cock out except for the head.

“You’re a slut. I’m going to treat you like a cum dump when necessary. You want more than that? Fucking apologize.”

“Im sorry for being a bitch to you. I’m sorry I was a cunt when I walked in the door. I wanted to get fucked and I’m sorryyyyy.” You whined out the last part as Gavi brought a hand down, two fingers rubbing your clit.

His breathing got heavy as he resumed his rushed thrusts, and you felt like you were ascending to heaven. Your kissy clenched down on Pablo tightly, making it harder for him to thrust, but making every movement even more fucking amazing. His fingers were digging into your hips, bruising your hip as he fucked all his frustration into you.

“Papi I- cumming… please don’t stop please.”

He kept his pace as you came undone around his cock, moaning so loudly that the entire street could hear. He kept thrusting into you, helping you ride out your high. He pulled out, flipping you onto your back, before entering you roughly again. The overstimulation started to set in, bring a fresh set of tears to your eyes. Pablo was quickly approaching his own orgasm, head thrown back as he thrust into you fast and hard, and you swore you could feel it in your throat.

“Too much Pablo I-“

“Your slut pussy can take it. You want my cum? You want to be my pretty little cum dumpster? Come on baby, take it. Take it.”

You brought your hand to his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat against your palm. He took your hand, lacing your fingers together, and leaned over. His muscles were tensed as he punted you into the mattress. Be came shortly after, a guttural moan escaping his throat as he filled you with his warm load. Your head fell back, the sensation too overwhelming. He breathed deeply before he looked at your gaping hole, eyes widening as he watches his cum drip from your spent cunt. He uses two fingers to push it back into you, making you gasp, but you were too weak to move.

He finally laid down next to you, offering out a hand for you to cuddle into. You moved towards him, resting your head on his chest, enjoying the warmth of him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, “for my attitude when I came home.”

He looked at you lovingly, kissing the top of your head. He clutched you closer to his chest, sleeping threatening to consume him.

“It’s okay, mi amor. You know I love funking that attitude out of you. Get some sleep now, we can talk in the morning.”

~~~

A/N: hey y’all - can someone explain why writing on this app makes me so incredibly sleepy??? Anyways, hope you enjoyed this degrading Gavi fic. I didn’t know if he had it in him until he stepped to Vini at the Classico. He for sure calls girls he sleeps with “sluts” but I’m all for it 😋 anyways, send me asks, leave comments, love y’all 🥰

#gavisuntiedboot #gavisuntiedbootasks #pablo gavi #pablo gavi x reader #gavi #gavi x reader #gavi x you #pablo gavi imagine #fc barca #gavi imagine #pablo gavi smut #gavi smut #gavi one shot #pablo gavi one shot #pablo gavi x reader smut #pablo gavi fanfiction #gavi fic #pablo gavi fanfic #gavi fanfic

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jooniperbonsai · 4 months

Text

Thanks For the Sub (ksj) | Chapter Two

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 13.7k

Release date: Mon. February 5, 2024

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: Now aware of Seokjin's secret, you try to take some of his...techniques into your next stream. But how well will they pay off?

Chapter Warnings: anxiety, discussion of boundaries and triggers, Seokjin explains what bdsm is supposed to mean to us watching at home, internet/cyberbullying dynamics, boss/employee power struggles, discussions of consent, peer pressure, mention of threesome, implied chubby/fat reader (it's vague enough to not adopt a specific size), mention of sex toys, swearing, sexual fantasies, m masturbation, damn Seokjin has a boner so many times in this sorry, size kink, y/n assumes Seokjin's sexuality, porn simulation games, 1 (one) reference to Vine (RIP), Dom Seokjin, kink negotiation, mention of choking and improper bdsm practices, mention of urethral sounding (but not actually happening)

a/n: Ahh hello! First of all, thank you to everyone who has read TFTS so far! It really warms my heart knowing how well received it's been, and your comments and messaged have meant so much. I really wanted to emphasize discussions of consent and boundaries in this chapter. I was struggling to write for a little bit, and then suddenly I saw this one gif of Jin on my feed and my brain jimmy neutron brain blasted my way to a 13k length chapter. Hopefully I've proofread well enough, but if you spot some serious errors please let me know. -h

On Saturday afternoon, Seokjin woke up for the first time in what felt like forever feeling rested. After checking the weather app on his phone constantly throughout the night, he received the alert that heavy snowfall was causing delays in plowing and public transit. He messaged the opening crew, encouraging them to also enjoy the lie-in and prepare for a delayed open. Instead of falling into the semi-sickening lovefest of couples peeling each other’s perilla leaves or trying to feed each other lunch, he could be spared until the evening.

Which was good, because Seokjin was exhausted. His live last night was not planned, but after closing and apologizing to you about his gross mismanagement of power, he needed to get out the pent-up frustration that crumbled the bones in his body from pressure.

Sure, it was the right thing to do to apologize, even though he knew he would never be able to look at that prep counter, your wide, glassy eyes, and swollen lips the same way again. But it was important to him. He could never become the kind of man he watched his boss be to him or his wife, forcing his way past someone’s boundaries to get what they wanted.

Even years later, Seokjin was convinced that had he not shared information about Soon Yi that intrigued his boss, if he’d maybe kept his personal and professional lives separate, things maybe would have been different. And now that he was in the position of power where he was someone else’s boss, wasn’t it his duty to make sure that didn’t happen to you too?

Seokjin almost lost all his control with you yesterday. From the moment you came in with a tired, croaky voice that greeted him “hi” before the sun had even come up, he knew he would be struggling for the rest of the day.

During multiple points of your training, he had the urge to touch you, which was nearly impossible not to do, since so much of the guidance you needed came from hand-over-hand instruction as he showed you the fluid motions of safe chopping. When his large hands covered yours, Seokjin became aware of how tiny you were to him. Maybe not in all the places, but your height, your smaller hands, they showed him how easily and perfectly you slotted into his body, like a puzzle piece he didn’t know he could ever feel matched to.

Maybe Seokjin executed this desire to touch you a little too dramatically. When he saw your misplaced cutting knife, he let that excuse lead him head-first into white hot desire, scolding you, watching you squirm a little as you felt embarrassed for losing focus. And that seemed to unlock some feral need in him, to get you to squirm a little more, to touch you and feel the velveteen softness of your forearms as he pinned you against the prep table.

The little gasp you’d let out sent the blood straight to his cock, and to avoid you seeing how easy and embarrassingly you could undo him–how quickly one singular sound from you would make Seokjin rock hard and panting and under your complete power–he reacted, clasped your wrists, used some set of excuses to get closer, let his arm skim across your cheek to grab a packet of whatever the hell was above you. And the way you didn’t resist, didn’t pull away from his grasp showed him how good you could be, how obedient you were as you turned around when told.

He should’ve stopped there, but you were standing in front of him, smelling a little bit like coffee and a fruity shampoo you used, your bodies only mere inches from full on contact. And Seokjin wanted more of a reason to hold onto you, to see what ways he could rile you up, whether you were cognizant or not of how, well, submissive you were to him.

Most of his income from streams came from scenarios where Seokjin played into a softer role, which translated into the role of a submissive pretty boy, and usually a bottom. But for the first time in years, a rich, satisfying wave of dominance rolled back into his body and he welcomed it.

Seokjin knew better, but he couldn’t help himself. The one bit of control he maintained was in his refusal to let go of your hands, even after you had mastered the motions of your knife, possibly even better than Seokjin himself could chop. Because if Seokjin declawed himself from you, his hands would absolutely wander. Up the sleeve of your exposed forearms and down the swell of your breasts and full hips.

His cock ached thinking about how plush and soft your body would be under his hands, how he wouldn’t have to worry about breaking you. He could safely grope your sides and not feel like he would pinch your bones together, and that was important, because Seokjin liked to be rough.

When that carrot fell, you couldn’t shake Seokjin’s desperate hands off yours and you carried him with you as you curved your body toward the floor to pick up your mess. Seokjin was blessed and cursed with the brief moment he got to touch more of you than he ever had as your ass rocked back and ground gently into him.

He’d moaned, though he tried to disguise it as a grunt or scoff, but the way your delicious ass attracted him right in between the line of your cheeks practically begged him to rut against you.

Your reaction of shock, though, halted him as he remembered you two were in the kitchen of his family’s restaurant. He scrambled to cover his dick before it became even more obvious and humiliating.

And then you fell, because Seokjin was an idiot and forgot he had been holding onto you.

The sound of your head crashing into the metal ricocheted through his ears, and your pained moan sent him spiraling in panic. He didn’t think. Seokjin wasn’t the best at remaining calm during potential medical emergencies, instead of electing to assess your wellbeing and check-in with you, he just reacted, plucking you off the floor and onto the counter.

You can’t manage a restaurant without carrying heavy sacks of rice or flour, cartons of vegetables or gallons of oils and liquids into the space. That, plus the fact that Seokjin did go to the gym to keep his figure, ensured that when he had to pull you up from the floor, he could do so with ease. Which thanks to his awful, overly enthusiastic libido, was really locking in some potential size kink. If Seokjin could hoist you onto the cold prep counter without breaking a sweat, it meant he could also hoist you onto other things, like his cock. Could bounce you up and down and see how those delicious, large tits would follow his pace.

Fuck.

This was when Seokjin realized even though he was deeply, deeply interested in these fantasies, his reality was different. Because too easily he had dipped into some innate submissive part of you and decided to play with it and tease you for it. Too easily, he has erased any boundary between professional and personal, and now you are walking around with a giant bruise on your forehead. He used his power to manipulate you, didn’t he? While the tiniest part of him argued back, suggesting it was purely mutual attraction and biology, that he shouldn’t apologize because he swore he saw something in your eyes that almost guaranteed you wanted him too, this is why Seokjin had to apologize. The “almost” of it all. He wasn’t sure, which meant the uncertainty was a risk and just because he wanted something to be true didn’t mean it was.

By the end of the day, the intense proximity to you and the memory of your lips parting to suck his tongue into your mouth had become too much. Seokjin turned on an impromptu stream to wallow in his self pity and direct that dominant energy into something that was far less harmful and at least lucrative.

Now, as the winter’s dull afternoon light glowed through the city, Seokjin checked his phone, seeing that the evening crew leader had arrived and informed him that everything was covered and they wouldn’t need the extra help.

With that update, Seokjin’s entire evening just became available, which was a rare thing for him since he moved up in his job role. But because of this, he was unsure what to do to pass the time. He cooked himself dinner, cleaned, and organized the jars in his refrigerator, needing to keep his hands busy to distract himself from thinking about you.

His apartment looking immaculate and there no longer being anything else to clean, he finally fired up his computer to play games. Maybe this would serve as a proper distraction. His new PC was set to come early next week after being delayed by the snow. Despite Seokjin’s financial success since his start as a streamer, money to him was still something he wasn’t sure what to do with.

After Worldwide Handsome took their cut from last night’s fifteen grand in earnings, he would be walking away with about ten thousand dollars. He would, albeit quietly, pour around seven thousand of those dollars into the restaurant, where the mom-and-pop feel of the small shop was starting to show its age.

Last week, he’d called a repairman to give him a quote about fixing a broken coil on one of the griddles. After a quick inspection, he was informed most of the unit was corroding, and it was time to seriously consider a replacement. Between that, the new register he ordered, and the walk-in freezer that was coughing its last breath, probably as we speak, Seokjin spent nearly forty grand in the last month with repairs and replacements to keep the shop running another day.

His parents had insisted they’d pay for the expenses, but after the first few discoveries he’d made of the DIY wiring his father had tried in earnest to configure, Seokjin stopped alerting them to the updates he was making, hoping that distance, age, and some fairly similar looking appliances would allow for these changes to go undetected when they returned. He had seen what this place made. He’d seen his paycheck. There was no way in hell his father could afford an $18 to 25,000 walk-in freezer on their operating budget.

Overall, Seokjin made plenty of money with streaming, but beyond some investments and his nice apartment, as well as a savings account to ensure he wasn’t completely destitute, he lived much below his means. When he hit goals during his streaming, it did really feel like he was winning big. To buy himself a new PC was something he knew he worked for.

Just as he was browsing the new skins in the game store, he heard the familiar chime and his heartrate picked up.

You were live.

He hesitated. “No,” he said out loud to himself, his voice croaking after hours of not speaking. “Don’t even think about it.”

He knew if he looked at you right now, all the distractions, the cleaning, the dedication to keeping himself busy, would be for nothing. It would be painful to look at you–probably all cozy with your hair pulled messily away from your face, your glasses hanging off your nose instead of your usual contacts–and not think about how merely hours ago he had your heat rubbed up against him.

If he really wanted to torture himself, he would also think about how the casual, disheveled look you sported could have been something he woke up to this morning if he’d tried a little harder, the loose t-shirt you probably wore rising up while you slept next to him, exposing the soft tummy he knew hid under it. Maybe even one of your nipples would slip out, hard from the chill of the cold winter air bleeding into his apartment.

But Seokjin wouldn’t torture himself. He knew better. When he exited his game, he definitely didn’t launch his web browser and go to your channel that was on his Favorites tab. And he definitely didn’t cup himself through his sweats as he watched you appear before him.

If the idea of you in casual wear could make him this hard, the view of you now, as you sat on stream with a tight, low-cut top that showed the curve of your breasts and their delicious, lickable valley between them, could easily turn every part of him into stone. You did your makeup today. Let your hair delicately frame your face. You looked like you were logging on to lure your viewers to come to you like a siren. Seokjin wanted you to devour him.

His cock twitched and he groaned. He was such a pervert. But whoever this Y/N was, she looked like she was ready to play some games, and not the kind that Seokjin was used to seeing on stream.

“Well, hello,” you purred. Was this really happening? Who the fuck had possessed the wide-eyed, awkward gamer he was used to watching?

“I thought, given that it’s so close to Valentine's Day, and because I missed the stream last night, I would make it up to you.”

Seokjin froze. How had he not known you were supposed to stream yesterday? He would’ve never let you stay so late. He shot you an apologetic text,and when he looked up from his phone, he saw some of the comments flooding into your feed:

Mingisaysrelax: Um…am I on the right website? 😏💦

MountainSan88:😳

PizzaBoy97: You look really pretty 😍

MizzVyne: Is this allowed? IS THIS ALLOWED?

Seokjin watched as your chat exploded in response to your new look, clips being taken by the hundreds when you leaned down to adjust your seat and the tops of your breasts jiggled. Your mods seemed to be on top of things though, because as soon as he saw raunchy or hateful comments, they were swiftly being taken down.

“I’m not going to read my comment section right now, but I assume you’re all a little shocked by my appearance. I don’t know, I was feeling a bit inspired by another streamer I watched last night when I got home from work. He had some really good ideas on um…stuff, and no I’m not going to share who he is because some of you will absolutely cyber bully him for being associated with me and he deserves better than that.”

He. A pang of bitterness surged through Seokjin. It was laughable, really, how he was jealous because you were watching other male streamers when you got home from work, completely oblivious to how on another site he was jerking his aching cock to his viewers thanks to how worked up you made him.

“But yeah, I’m going to switch up the stream in the second half, if you want to stick around and see.”

This really piqued his interest, pressing his palm down onto his erection to try and relieve some of the pressure.

You frowned at your screen as you launched your game, some first person shooter that would hold your attention so you wouldn’t have to talk.

You opened your mouth to add something, but you were immediately dropped into your game, setting your jaw as you focused on the controls in front of you, occasionally panicking, key smashing so loud that it drowned out your squeals when you were knocked over and over again and needed a revive.

Seokjin assumed whatever teammate who kept reviving you must’ve been a subscriber who was stream sniping…or reverse stream sniping? Stream assisting and reviving as you struggled your way through the game.

Something really stuck with him as you played. Whoever this “mentor” was must have been well versed in the knowledge that on any streaming platform, sex sells, especially for women. Your new look was drawing in quite the crowd. He wasn’t sure he’d seen you have this many subs, points, or viewers while streaming before. It was like a switch flipped.

He felt a tiny flutter of something like pride swell into his chest. You were becoming more confident every day he knew you, from your knife skills to school teaching to now streaming.

“Oh shittttttt,” you groaned into your mic, ripping Seokjin away from his soft reverie and back into full on, desperate wanting. Maybe you were toeing the community guidelines with this stream, but that groan sounded almost pornographic coming out of your mouth, and any chance Seokjin had at trying to be respectful was long gone.

He cocked an eyebrow. “Oh you’re being a bad girl tonight I see,” he chuckled to himself.

Almost as if you heard him, you giggled back, biting your lip playfully. Fuck, what were you doing to him? Your chat seemed to be in a similar standing.

As a result, One of the mods pinned an announcement to the top:

W0nW00: To maintain community guidelines and compliance, we are labeling this channel as 18+. We ask that you be respectful to Y/N and her moderators as we continue with this stream. If your account is set to under 18, you will be redirected in 2 minutes.

Shit, all for a simple moan?

You paused the game. “I’m going to go for a bio break. Be right back.” You set your break screen, and instead of the usual, cutesy graphic of a cherry blossom tree blowing in the wind that said “Spring Day Streams”, it was now a neon, vaporwave cityscape and said “Join Us For Spring Night Streams, An After Dark Experience”.

Seokjin’s eyes wide, he finally released his cock from his sweats, and took himself in his hand. Oh, this was going to be good.

Seokjin is a camboy.

That’s the only thought splitting through the headache you’ve had all morning. Is there such a thing as an orgasm hangover? Because if so, you’ve got one. If not, maybe you were concussed in the kitchen yesterday.

You’ve spent most of the day trying to clean up the mess of your apartment and frankly, your mental state. Seokjin spends his Friday nights Daddy domming his humble pool of viewers and making thousands of dollars doing so. To even think that sentence feels insane.

And humiliating. Because attached to that sentence is the realization that Seokjin’s major success as a gay camboy means that he is absolutely not thinking about you the way you are of him, and the kiss you imposed on him at work was definitely not consensual after all, which when you think about it, is obvious based on how frantically he apologized and assigned himself at fault for what happened. He was trying in the most polite way to reject you.

You’re an idiot. And despite all of it, the shame of your action isn’t what’s delivering the heavy punch; it’s the fact that your crush didn’t die the second you found out last night. If anything, you’ve been silently wallowing in your sadness since you woke up, your stupid heart not processing that there’s one significant reason for why you can’t have him.

You try to trudge through the fog of it all, placing your newly cleaned toys back into their proper dust cases and compartments before returning them to the drawer next to your side table. You switch loads of laundry and drop the warm pile on your bed, grimacing at the idea of having to fold it all.

You shouldn’t be disappointed. This is a stupid crush that was never meant to go this far. Not to this place where you aren’t just humiliated, but the loneliness that you often avoid feeling has been spilling through the cracks of your life all day.

The laundry is the only thing that occupies one side of your bed. Never another body, his warmth, his weight existing as another living thing keeping your living thing company as you fold laundry or wash dishes.

No, you shouldn’t have projected this crush or obsession or whatever you want to call it onto Seokjin, but in these months of conversation and blooming friendship, you’ve found your mind beginning to wander into the fantasy of not just sex, but safety and connection. He’s a man who has always treated you with the utmost respect, even now in how he has maintained a boundary that gently rejects you, even if it’s confusing.

Before his promotion at the restaurant, there was collaboration that fostered your trust in him; your bodies started working around each other like dancers, fusing your movements with a natural flow. You’d seen some of that pop up throughout the day yesterday, which you couldn’t help but feel like delivered a bit of hope in your stomach.

You know it’s useless to continue hoping that something will change. Maybe he’s bi, you’ve thought a few times since you went to bed. He did call everyone a good girl. But, don’t some guys call each other girls as some kind of kink? But even hoping for that still feels wrong in your gut. Instead of wishing he just so happens to like pussy, you should be redirecting yourself from the fact that it doesn’t even matter. He said so himself, he’s your boss.

“Ugh,” you groan into your unfolded laundry. Why can’t anything ever be easy?

You shove the clothing pile to one side of your bed as you lie down, staring up at the ceiling, your eyes following the soft pattern of cracks that have begun to appear through the paint. You already know that going back to work on Monday will be awful, not just because this crush won’t crush itself, but because you clearly now know more about Seokjin than he perhaps ever wanted you to know. Won’t it be awkward trying to talk to him? And if he asks why you’re being so weird, what will you even say?

Sorry Seokjin, I’m not sure how to talk to you anymore because I spent Friday cumming while watching you on your gay cam show as you stroked your huge dick and admittedly once I saw your face connected to your dick I had the best orgasm of my life that rendered me useless the next day.

Perfect. This won’t be absolute hell at all.

Your stream alarm rings on your phone. You sigh. That’s right. You promised a makeup stream to your followers.

How did Seokjin stream so confidently? Last night, the way he just exuded dominance and control, how he managed to get so much money from sitting there and making his chat do the work? It’s not only impressive but also inspiring. If you were able to have that distance from your chat, maybe things would be a bit easier, and the questions that were so personal and directed would fade into the background while ones of adoration and impersonal fantasies could take their place.

And the money, god. If you had money like that, you wouldn’t have a stack of financial aid forms sitting on your dresser right now waiting for you to basically jump through hoops to ask nicely for a loan.

The way he was able to be so different and make money off of it? That feels promising to you too. Because whoever Daddy Dom Seokjin is, he isn’t just walking around in the world being “on” all the time. You know him as someone whose ears flush with embarrassment the second one of the delivery guys tells him he made an error with the order and tries to diffuse the tension with some free snacks; who often hums game scores and whose laugh sounds like a squeaky windshield wiper swiping across dried glass.

What if you could be more like that?

Not Daddy Dom or Mommy Y/N, but more casual and detached? You could stop reading your chat and answering questions. Or if you did want to play into some of Seokjin’s sex appeal, you could dress slightly more suggestively or do your hair and makeup to exploit the male gaze’s money a bit, just like how Seokjin did.

In this world of streaming, where everything feels like fractured versions of reality, parts of you being split among the pixels and delivered and digested into someone else’s home for their entertainment and pleasure, it’s hard for you to ever feel like you can have some close community with your followers. Not like Wonwoo does with his. Because of your start and how people perceive you now, there just doesn’t seem to be a way for you to have intimacy. Even if you tried, your chat flies by so quickly now that unless it’s a notification from a mod, any usernames and personal anecdotes are lost before you can even know who’s who.

You think about it for a bit. It can’t hurt to try, right? It’s not like you being a little less reserved would automatically launch you into a career in porn. And if it will help bring a little more income in, lessen the blow a tiny bit, you can’t really see why it would make sense to keep doing things this way when you are this miserable by the idea of it.

Spring Day Streams holds a standard image that is pink and soft, and you know some people love watching you because you’re hitting some fantasy they have. The woman who looks like an angel but swears like a sailor and as stereotypes often assume, fucks like a demon.

What could “fuck like a demon” look like on an often all ages game streaming platform, though? Well, not all ages. Some streams are only accessible to registered users over the age of 18. Usually the age filter is there because the game is super graphic, or the streamer is a sex educator or swears so much the algorithm has started penalizing them. A few times though, you’ve seen some streamers playing games that are so raunchy they’re basically porn. And porn versions of those games exist, but to keep some of them streamer-friendly, they also sell versions that don’t have uncensored anime girls receiving creampies. That would definitely maintain the brand without going too far, right?

You open your phone, typing in some of the titles of games, mostly dating simulators you’ve seen other streamers play before, and then you stumble across one called MiCamStudio, a puzzle game with the plot where you’re the manager of a camgirl enterprise and your goal is to become the most successful, richest entrepreneur while keeping your girls happy.

You laugh. It feels a bit on the nose, but a fun way to shake things up in an after-dark concept. And it’s not too expensive, which means if this entire plan bombs, you won’t have invested much into it. Fine, you’ll do it.

Wonwoo responds right away after you shoot a quick message with your idea to your mods on discord to help them prepare.

On it.

With a deep breath, you start to get ready.

As you brace yourself to come back from your short bio break and announcement, your heart is hammering in your ears. What if everyone left? What if things get weird or gross or you think you’re being kind of sexy and cute but are really just being an idiot?

Suddenly, this entire idea seems so stupid. What if your mom decides this is finally the time she wants to watch you stream? She hasn’t ever had the interest to, but what if she finally thinks to herself on a random Saturday night in February, “Wow, I sure do crave watching some video game streams! Say, I know my daughter Y/N streams. I should check it out!” or worse, what if someone she knows sends one of the clips or a screenshot of you with your tits practically out?

Your anxiety is starting to win in this battle, and as you pace back and forth in front of your computer, shaking your clammy hands and trying to remember how to breathe, you see the number of viewers has dropped since the stream moved from all ages to 18+. Which means that you can now read your chat again.

The comments are actually really supportive. Among them are some of your mods cheering you on, but one username anchors you back into your chair as you watch the notification dance across the screen.

JokeJinSeokjin has subscribed for 3x months!

Seokjin. Seokjin is live and watching you. Which you expect to be the thing that will throw you over the edge. Seokjin, your boss. Your kind of friend. Your crush. The man who you are trying to emulate in this attempt to be sexy and earn more money and confidence.

Surprisingly, a warm glow of comfort settles in you stomach instead. Because while maybe in all of this mess there’s plenty to be anxious about, you feel a part of you that’s determined to make him proud, to show him in this rejection what he’s missing out on. You take a deep breath to steady yourself as you hit the button to come back.

“Ah, hello! I mean-um, hello,” you catch the nervousness pouring out of your shaky voice and clear your throat, trying to sound more composed.

“I wanted to try something new today. Well, tonight. Welcome to Spring Night Streams, where I’ll be playing some not safe for work in more of a raunchy way type of games. Because as we know if there’s blood and guts and horror, it’s all ages! But boobs, those are a no no!”

You shakily laugh and suck your lip into your teeth. The taste of your lipstick laths over your tongue and you try not to think about how messy you just made it look. Or how you might now have lipstick on your teeth to really add an effect of clownery to your poor jokes.

“I’m going to play this game? It came out a few years ago, but it’s a puzzle game called MiCamStudio. Maybe some of you have played it. But uh, yeah if you don’t like things like that I can always um…well I’ll just try it and see…” you trail off and nervously fidget with your controls as you open the game.

Whatever you were expecting out of a dating simulator type game where you were in charge of cam girls, it wasn’t this. When you open the menu to start a new game, the animation that loads after you click “Start Streaming” is dozens of bra-clad boobs bouncing across the screen as it transitions you to the story line menu.

Jesus Christ. Heat floods your cheeks. This somehow feels worse than the time your earbuds died and you didn’t notice that the audiobook of a very spicy holiday romance you were listening to wasn’t coming through them, but your phone. On the bus. And to make matters worse, you were at a part where the narrator was very generously providing sound effects and moans for the main character as she participated in an orgy with triple penetration. Yikes.

You begin the walk-through of the storyline, greeted by Candy, a pink haired, busty camgirl who is looking to expand her horizons in the business. As you tap through the prompts, Candy starts to become less dressed, abandoning her already tiny skirt and crop top combo for a barely-there set of lingerie that covers just her nipples and vagina.

“I need your help!” Candy pouts, her eyes shimmering with tears. “I need 400 new fans for my business or else I’ll be out of work! Quick, use this magic wand as you solve puzzles to help me get closer to my goal!”

The wand is, of course, a vibrator. When you play through the first level tutorial and are prompted to use the wand, it vibrates the blocks, shifting them into new positions on the screen to match colors together. If you get enough combos, she has a giant orgasm, which increases her fans so you can pass to the next level.

As you work through some of the first few levels, you notice that your view count has recovered somewhat from earlier, though the comments are kind of off-putting. Not because people are being sexually inappropriate, but because they’re mad you’re not interacting with them.

NGL I thought this was going to be more fun and naughty.

Yeah now she’s not even talking to us at all.

I miss when she was bad at games and it was at least interesting.

Someone come get me if she starts moaning again like she did earlier.

Fuck. You are fucking this up. And your viewers are right, you haven’t been talking to them. Or really doing anything but playing the game and trying not to wince from embarrassment every time Candy moans as you make her a star.

There’s got to be something you can do. You think about Seokjin again, who you’re not sure is still watching, but you hope some of that confident edge he had last night starts to come over you, too. What was it that he did to keep everyone engaged?

He gave them incentive. A goal. He didn’t have to say much to them but tell them what to do and they happily did it. And that also took the pressure off of him to keep talking.

With a deep breath, you test the waters. “Oh, you wanted more fun and naughty? Well, you didn’t really work for it did you?”

You hate the words as they come from your mouth, but they have an immediate result.

Loyal2You tipped 1600 points. What do you need us to do to earn it?

Your face burns hot, and you sip some water to try and cool yourself, playing it off as nonchalance rather than anxiety. You feel your stomach threatening to lurch into your throat as you force out the next sentence.

“Mmm, I don’t know. Maybe you need to show me what I need,” you smirk. You really don’t know. Money? Subs? People not questioning you? This to be over?

LongJohn69 gifted 10 subs. Maybe this will help? 😉

“Well, it’s a start. Thanks for the sub,” you giggle, forcing yourself to relax into your chair.

“Hmm, what can I give you all as a reward? I feel like I could really use some cute new clothes that I can wear for you next stream if you help me?”

Your voice is softened and the pitch is a bit higher. Maybe Candy’s baby voice is having an impact on you from the game, because your normal, even paced tone is taking a turn. Is this the persona you’ve been trying to find?

But you need this money. School, your future. You can’t just keep living the way you have been.

7DaysAWeek tipped 10,000 points. Please, say “thank you 7 days” in that adorable whiny voice, baby. I’ll double tip if you do.

You freeze. 20,000 points is $200. All for you to say something so simple and stupid?

God, but it doesn’t feel right to do it. You could ignore it, you think. And walk away with $100 before your commission rate is taken out. Which will end up being nothing, you realize.

“Oh, hmm.” You pause and then just do it. “Okay. Thank you 7 Days for the points. I really appreciate it.” You drum up the dramatics, eliciting some horrible, embarrassing baby voice that makes your vowels stringy and weak.

Yuck. More requests pour in, people eager to get you to recite some innocent seeming phrases that you know are fodder for their spank bank.

You see a tiny notification flash in the bottom right corner: a private message from Wonwoo.

Y/N, you could get into deep shit if you aren’t careful. This could potentially violate your terms of service.

You frown at the message but nod to let him know you read it.

“Okay, well, I think it’s time we get back to the game!” You awkwardly divert your attention back to the screen, letting Candy’s moans fill the silence as you ignore the new requests and subs for the rest of your stream, too humiliated to think about what they could be saying.

After you end your stream, you feel the damn of tears that was welling your eyes for the last half hour spill.

What a fucking disaster. What started as a hopeful night turned out to be one of your most streamed yet somehow also least successful broadcasts. The rush of viewers at the start provided you with a great boost, but after you didn’t engage again with the requests, your views, subs, and points plummeted, leaving you with a very slim payout for the day. This wouldn’t be much of anything for your bills once commission is taken.

You don’t know how people do this. You feel like absolutely dog shit, and you even wrapped early, pretending that you were sick. But maybe you also aren’t really pretending, your stomach feels knotted and sour.

Something about that felt wrong, but you don’t really understand why. It’s not like you’re prudish or fear sex. On any given day those kinds of requests stack up by the hundreds. But maybe it’s because tonight you finally peeled back the dismissive layer and let them in that has you feeling vulnerable and honestly, a little dirty.

You wipe some stray tears from your eyes, stretching across the desk to grab your phone and pull it off of do not disturb mode. You see a few texts from Seokjin that he sent while you were streaming.

Seokjin (8:17PM): Hey! I didn’t know you were supposed to stream yesterday. I would have let you leave early if I’d known.😞

Seokjin (9:15PM): Hey, are you okay? You look really uncomfortable. I know you’re playing and won’t see this until after you’re done but I wanted to check.

Seokjin (9:47PM): Y/N, please don’t feed into these requests if it’s not what you want.

Seokjin (10:02PM): Call me. The second you get this. Urgent.

You read the last text, which was sent twenty minutes ago. Shit, did something happen to the restaurant?

“Y/N,” Seokjin says after one ring, his voice strained.

“Um, hi Seokjin. I’m just calling you back because you said it’s urgent! Is everything okay with the restaurant? Did the snow knock power out or something? If you need me to come in tomorrow too I can help with stuff.”

“What?” Seokjin pauses for a second, his exasperation now turned to confusion. “No, Y/N. Everything with the restaurant is fine.”

“Oh. Then why did you call?” you ask.

“Well, if you saw all my texts then you know I was watching your stream. And I just wanted to check and make sure you’re okay after that? Near the end you looked pretty upset.”

The warmth in your stomach you felt when you first heard his voice is gone, replaced by a sharp, gritty unease.

“Oh. Um, yeah I’m…fine,” but the tightness in your throat betrays you and a tiny sob escapes as the tears begin falling again.

Seokjin doesn’t say anything as you sniffle into your phone, scrubbing the dribble away from your nose and cheeks with your sleeve.

“Hey,” he says as your cries become softer. “Do you want to get out of the house for a bit?”

“It’s kind of late, isn’t it,” you say weakly.

“That’s not what I asked. Do you want to get out of the house for a bit?” He repeats.

Do you? Part of you is exhausted, tempted to just go right to bed. But you know if you lie down right now in the rest of that unfolded pile of laundry you might never emerge.

“Ok,” you whisper into the receiver.

“I’ll come get you,” Seokjin says. “Dress warm. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

When you were little, your parents took you on a road trip to get away from the city. You sat in the backseat, kicking your father’s chair grumpily on the first day, tired from waking up early and having to be stuffed into the car with the mountain of snacks, toys, clothes, and camping gear you had shoved in beside you. Your father was patient for the first hour of your kicks, but before long the steady thump thump thump on his lower back was becoming a strong annoyance as he navigated further away from home.

“Y/N,” your father had sharply warned once he’d had enough. “Keep it up, and I’ll take your feet off and put them into my pockets.”

While in retrospect the threat is silly and impossible, at the time, your five-year-old self was struck with horror as you imagined him sawing your feet off like the patients who were out in the snow for too long in that medical TV show you saw at your grandparents’ house once.

You’d tucked your feet underneath you until you were at a rest stop, where picnic tables and a small garden scape awaited you, filled with native wildflowers and lazy, fat bees that hovered from flower to flower.

Your mother smoothed your hair with her hand, guiding you through the garden as your father bought your lunches from inside the building.

“He didn’t mean it,” she’d said softly, feathering the tips of your hair across your cheek. Goosebumps prickled along your arms and you shivered, even though the sun was heavy and hot on top of you that day. “No one will take your feet from you.”

You’d hugged her tightly then, still unsure as to why someone would try to take your feet from you. Your tapping in the car was mostly to keep you from feeling like you were going to be sick, but back then you didn’t really have the words to express yourself.

When your father returned, he wordlessly placed your meal in front of you, including a large, fudgy cookie for dessert. Your father had always been proud, and even then when he didn’t apologize to you and promise he wouldn’t saw off your feet, being given a dessert was as good as any apology.

He smiled when you licked the smudged chocolate off your fingers, eventually tutting impatiently so your mother would take you to the bathroom to wash up. Afterwards, you found him looking at a map on the building’s outside wall, with a bright cherry red You Are Here sticker signifying where in this confusing picture you were supposed to be.

“There’s an observation point a few stops away from here. It’s supposed to be a really nice view over a valley. Y/N, do you want to be our navigator for those and help me decide when we should stop to look?”

Laced in there was his apology. An opportunity at redemption, connection. You’d nodded instantly and scrambled back into the car, no longer upset about having to share your space in the backseat with all the cargo, ready to take on your role as your father’s co-pilot.

You visited every observation point along that freeway that trip, all the way from the rest stop to the campground in some rural village. Some of the spots were lackluster, now overgrown and showing a view of a wall of trees and bushes and not some regal cavern or farmland below. But there were also the ones that, had you never insisted on visiting, you would have never seen half as much of the flora and fauna you’d expected to see on your camping trip. And it was the one major trip your family had ever had that made you all feel like a collective unit, ready to fight against the forces of grumpiness or foot-sawers together.

From that point on, whenever you saw the sign marker, you couldn’t help but feel a smile bloom on your face, which is why at this moment you are sitting next to Seokjin in his car, bundled up and stupidly beaming at him as he mirrors a happy but confused smirk back at you.

When he’d picked you up, Seokjin didn’t say much, just started driving north, through your neighborhood and into the rolling hills outside of the city. While this morning’s snow still clings to the trees and rooftops of some hillside buildings, surprisingly, the plows have done a good job of ensuring the road is safe and salted. You can feel the tense knots in your shoulders starting to lessen a little just from the feeling of being somewhere else for a while.

As you weave up the mountain side, toward the observation point, you gasp.

“What?” he asks. “What’s wrong?’ His eyes bulge from his head.

“It’s just that, I love observation points,” you say sheepishly, not sure if you should divulge your entire story.

Seokjin nods, thoughtful. “I like to come up here sometimes when I’ve had a really bad day. Just need to clear my head. Seemed like you needed to do that too.” The car curves along the bend, some of the wind fluttering clods of snow from the trees and onto the road.

“Yeah, I do…” You trail off, letting him take you higher into the mountain before pulling into the observation point. This one has some small cafés and despite the late hour and snowfall, there are still quite a few cars parked in the lot, some sets of families and couples strolling around with warm drinks and peering out onto the twinkling, snow-covered city below.

“How’s your head,” he asks gently, and it takes you a minute to remember what he’s referring to. You touch the make-up covered bruise and shrug.

“Eh, it’s not so bad.” Truly, as the day wears on, you are feeling a bit tender, but the swelling has gone down, and your worry has gone with it.

Seokjin opens your door for you, ever the gentleman, and you try to fight off the harsh tug in your chest that likens this behavior to a date.

The two of you head over toward one of the lookout points, leaning against the rail posts. You take in the rolling hills below, how soft and plush the city looks now, almost like it could never be a place where you feel sadness or loneliness. You sigh.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Seokjin begins gently, “but I was wondering what happened during your stream tonight.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” you assure him.

Maybe this conversation would feel more uncomfortable if you didn’t already feel so awful. You are just trying to feel a little bit better about this whole ordeal. Trying to find in you some nugget of comfort to ensure a more stable future. And hell, Seokjin had made it seem so easy. But now, you are humiliated. You aren’t sure how you are going to go live again and go back to how things were before when the internet is probably making a giant laughing stock of you, or fetishizing you. You’re not sure which one is worse.

“So, I know when we used to be, um, friends, I had mentioned to you that streaming is something I fell into. And as you also know from working with me, I don’t have the best social skills. Or I can, maybe, I don’t know. Anyway, I haven’t been liking it that much, really. Mostly because people in the chat always ask really personal questions about me and it feels weird. Like they’re real people but they can’t be real, to me. Does that make sense?”

He nods once, urging you to continue.

“Right, so, in all of this, I’ve been trying to think of ways to make it more fun for me. And last night I saw you-YouTuber. I saw this YouTube streamer and on his stream he just seemed so cool, and smart. And he was able to both stay engaged without telling everyone everything and had distance. But he also was kind of domin-strong, he was just really good at telling people to meet goals and incentives. And it worked, they did it. I thought, maybe this could help me be better at this so I don’t hate it so much. I could make some persona, do something different that helps me better enjoy it or make more money. I don’t know. It seems stupid now when I think about it.”

“It’s not stupid, Y/N,” Seokjin says, turning to you. Your eyes flit to his face. His nose is pinkish from the cold, and his broad shoulders are tightly bound up to his ears to avoid the chill from spreading.

“Of course you should like streaming, but if you don’t, if this isn’t the formula that works for you, then maybe you should try something different to help you.”

“How do you do it?” you ask, realizing too late what you are saying.

Seokjin freezes. “Do what?”

“Um, how do you maintain confidence all the time? Like at work and stuff.”

Seokjin scoffs. “I don’t. You know that. Weren’t you just with me last week when I was bowing and spluttering like an idiot to Mrs. Yoon because that one repair man backed his car over her potted azalea? I was anything but confident then.”

You fight a soft smile. Seokjin had been trying to scoop the twiggy, out of season bush into a bucket to salvage it before offering to replace it. Mrs. Yoon however, was having none of it, chirping on about how that plant had been germinated from her ancestors’ hillside home generations ago, and despite her choosing to carelessly plop it into a busy alleyway, she was sure there was no replacement that could soothe her aching heart. Seokjin handed her a wad of cash, and a gift certificate to the restaurant in an act of good faith. That seemed to shut her up.

“You know what I mean,” you nudge. “You have an ability to talk to people though. Even Mrs. Yoon can’t say no to your mother’s bossam recipe when you charm her like that.”

“First of all, no one can say no to my mother’s bossam recipe, regardless if I’m there to grovel or not. Secondly, you’re charming too, Y/N.”

You chortle at this. You? Charming? “Ha, I wish. But really, Seokjin. Half of that stream was an awkward setup and I thought I was going to puke. And not because of how I was dressed or anything like that. It’s so weird. I don’t really care about if people make comments like that about me because they’re impersonal. But knowing that I am sitting there, and everyone has some expectation of how I’m going to perform for them, it makes me feel awful.”

“Tell me about it,” you hear him mutter, but he then recovers. “It sounds like that crossed one of your boundaries, then. Just because some explicit stuff doesn’t bother you, doesn’t mean that nothing ever will. And it doesn’t have to make sense. You can not care if strangers are talking about you sexually but care if you’re engaging with them and using sexual innuendos to do so.”

Part of you is tempted to engage with the comment, to press him to explain and pretend that you have no idea what he’s speaking in regard to. But what good would that do here? Please Seokjin, can you share with me how being a gay sex cammer, which I absolutely already know about after watching you and masturbating to you, has impacted your life?

God, how mortifying it would be for you.

Instead, you let the comment go, cutting him enough slack so he can assume you didn’t hear him.

“You know, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Seokjin adds. You shoot him a look.

“I don’t really have much of a choice at this point! No offense, but it’s not like I’m making bank at the restaurant, and I already have chosen to withdraw from this term because of billing issues and–”

“You’re withdrawing from school? Y/N!” He yells, and you feel a heat of shame flood your cheeks as you see some scattered people shift their attention toward you.

Now you were both embarrassed and pissed. How dare he scold you?

“Not from school, just the term!” you yell back. You’d made the choice in your spiral this evening, in between bio breaks. It was haunting you as you stared back at the packet of financial aid papers and billings notices. Streaming, you’ve now seen, is such a hit or miss game. And you truly can’t maintain the expenses that can cut into your work hours. Especially if you need to get a different job that isn’t streaming or working at the restaurant.

“Is..is that where Spring Night Streams is coming from?” he asks, face flushed with embarrassment at his outburst. Your anger dulls.

“Partially. This felt like some way to sustain myself without it draining me. I thought maybe if I look pretty, people won’t just come and try to either ask me super personal things I don’t want to share, or they’ll just feed into basically the illusion of sex and pay me that way. And I can continue to play games and suck at them or be good at them, but the original reason behind why they came to my stream could be replaced with a different person, someone who isn’t so closely trying to dig into me.

“But, then I fumbled the bag, and you saw it. The viewer count was fluctuating so bad, and the second I interacted with that one comment, suddenly I was toeing the line for TOS and could easily have jeopardized my entire branding and be permanently banned from the website for sexual activity. Tonight was one of the lowest payouts I’ve made since I started. And now I know too, this could all just as easily go away if I’m not being…I don’t know. Compliant.”

Seokjin makes a dissatisfied grunt, his breath coming out in a white puff. Now past eleven, most of the couples and families have dispersed, and the cute café that had advertised decadent looking hot chocolates is closed. The only thing remaining open is the tiny convenient store.

You try to suppress a shiver but fail.

“Come on,” he says, guiding you away from the railing and toward the store.

Inside, the shopkeeper doesn’t even flinch or look away from his phone, which is streaming some sports match in Spanish.

Seokjin places his hand on the small of your back as he guides you over to the drinks section, gesturing for you to select something from the warm options.

“I wouldn’t recommend anything pre-made,” he warns, his voice low. “That stuff has probably been here since this morning.” He helps himself to a tea packet and the hot water dispenser.

You browse a little and find a packet of hot chocolate. While it may not be the fancy, marshmallow delight pink drink that the café had advertised in their window, this will do just fine.

By the time you’ve gotten your drink mixed together, Seokjin is waiting for you at the counter, a selection of different snacks piled high and a gentle smile on his face despite how bothered and grumpy the shop worker is toward him, practically smashing the food into a bag and muttering a total.

You hadn’t given yourself a chance to really look at him before, but as he stands before you, you can finally take in how incredible he looks. While he’s wearing some gray joggers underneath, he’s elected for a long black puffer coat and green knit sweater and somehow looks so put together, so…boyfriend.

Your heart flutters a bit and you try to tamp it down. This isn’t a date, you remind yourself, Get a hold of yourself Y/N.

As you head back out into the chilly air, you both settle into a table outside of the convenience store, and Seokjin pulls the snacks out of the bag, all of which are your favorites.

“You remembered?” you ask, a little stunned that he would commit all your tiny convenience store runs to memory over the months you’ve worked together and would split packets of sweet potato puffs and tiny, sweet cakes. He shrugs.

“Morale is low. You need the boost. Now pass me some of those chips, I’m starving.”

Your stomach growls in agreement, and you pop open the bag, nibbling away quietly.

“You don’t need to people please to be a good streamer,” Seokjin says finally, rinsing his mouth with his tea. You chew your bottom nervously but wait for him to continue. “There’s tons of people on the internet who do streaming for all kinds of uh, stuff. And they make a ton of money without compromising their values to do so. Maybe instead of focusing on what you think people want in a stream, do what you want instead.”

You sigh. “See, that sounds great and all, but when I tried that today, people got mad and left. Did you see all the donations trying to get me to say things or do stuff after that first one?”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, taking a big bite of a chocolate cake thing and chewing diligently. “Welrr,” he begins, his mouth stuffed full, “I guesh you have to undershtand dat peepo on dee internet will always chewz sex first to get what dey wan.” He swallows. “And if that doesn’t work because someone sets a boundary, fuck them.” He pauses. “Not literally!” A blush creeps up his neck.

You laugh. “I thought you limited your swearing to mostly angry kitchen interactions,” you say, and sip the watery hot chocolate. You wince.

“You chose wrong with that hot chocolate. I’ll make it up to you next time.” Next time. Your stomach leaps.

“But you don’t see it because I’m trying to maintain a professional air most of the time. But I say shit, piss, cock and fuck pretty regularly.” Like when you’re camming, you mentally note.

“Yeah, so, speaking of that. And boundaries. This isn’t really the most professional boss-employee relationship happening right now.” You gesture around you. You didn’t want to say it, but you know it needs to be addressed. Seokjin and you really need to figure out a new set of rules, especially now you know what he does after dark, and he’s watching your streams, too.

He pauses and sighs. “Shit, yeah, you’re right. Look Y/N, I do want to talk about that. And we can address it. But before we do, I want to finish talking to you about what happened earlier today. Can we do a brief boss-employee dynamic halt for the rest of the time we’re up here? I want to talk to you as a friend right now, which we once were, even if it was for a short time. Will you let me do that?”

You look up at him, and he’s gazing back with intensity, and also something that looks almost like desperation.

“Okay,” you say. “For the rest of the time we’re out of the city. We are just two people. Friends. Not boss. Not an employee. Just us.”

He smiles at that. “Yeah, just us.”

Seokjin tried to not kick himself in his own ass for doing what he was doing now. Bringing you up here, to his safe place, was far too intimate of a decision. But when he’d watched the rest of your stream, watched you do stuff that– while he couldn’t be absolutely sure but he could assume– tested your boundaries and comfort, he knew he couldn’t just let you spiral by yourself.

He’d been there before. During a show earlier in his cam career, Seokjin was once asked to try a more extreme kink on his stream which involved a thin metal rod that he would push into his urethra for pleasure.

He’d agreed to try it before he’d even looked it up, and even when purchasing the equipment, he’d felt really queasy and knew he would hate it. But he’d promised, which he now understood was a fake law people set for themselves to push them past their limits. On the stream where he tested it out, he started shaking and crying, stopping before he could even open the package with the rods in it and ended his stream early.

From then on, he had spent more time learning about kinks and BDSM. It was much more psychological and technical than he’d realized, with precise and careful movements, components of care, and more thoughtfulness than he’d ever really learned from porn or the internet.

While he and Soon Yi had been exploratory in their sex life, it wasn’t like they’d ever done proper research when they were together. Looking at things now, he felt a little sickened knowing she could have gotten seriously hurt the times he choked her, not knowing the right placement of hands or pressure to make sure he didn’t cause permanent damage.

Seokjin then reassessed his boundaries. He never wanted to position himself on his streams where he would succumb to pressure for money and compromise his own safety or desire. This was supposed to be fun.

The main tenets of BDSM are safe, sane, and consensual, which is hard to define on the internet. When something is leaked or found by the wrong party, it can especially compromise consent. With a permanent imprint of something existing once agreed upon, at any point someone’s right to withdraw consent can be invalidated simply because there’s a paper trail. And if that happened, then safety and sanity were sure to be called into question too.

Which is why Seokjin couldn’t stay silent after he saw you drawing breath after shaky breath after the first exchange with that follower. The instant regret that bloomed on your face as you so easily traded your comfort to make money, he never wanted you to feel that or experience it again.

Which is why you now sat before him, the residual makeup from your stream still there but smeared, a thin looking peacoat doing a lot of work to protect you from the elements. This is why he said dress warm. Why were you wearing a glorified blazer in this weather?

He knew his time was limited with you, and that yes, he was already compromising this boundary that he’d set. But boundaries could be redrawn, and in this moment, he didn’t want the only thing protecting you right now to be that peacoat. He needed to protect you too.

Granted, you probably were questioning his qualifications in this, and for a brief moment he considered telling you, but he quickly dismissed the idea when he remembered the video of him cumming and saying your name existed on his page if you’d ever gotten curious. Behind a paywall, sure, but it was there.

No, for now, it was Seokjin and Y/N, friends. Us, he thought, and his pulse quickened unhelpfully.

You sat in front of him, sipping at that awful hot chocolate, waiting for him to deliver more of his advice. He hesitated to speak more. Here you were, attention fully focused on him, and the dependence on him to get you home tonight, to move back into a world that wasn’t just you two and your own little universe, and all Seokjin was doing was considering how long he could carry on the pause.

Maybe he would never speak again, and you would have to stay here forever, on top of the mountain as the snow began to gently fall around you two like you both lived in your own private snow globe.

Wait, snow? Seokjin blinked, and sure enough the flakes were swirling around you both again, the wind kicking up your hair. You let out a sharp shiver, and that broke the fantasy of staying here.

He ushered you back to the car, where now the snow was coming down in thick, heavy globs that signified the moisture in the air had increased, which made sense. Back in the city, the forecast had said it was set to rain, but he’d forgotten elevation impacts the weather, and that the change of moisture in the air also could result in ice on the way down.

As you warmed your hands in front of his heat vents, he tried to think of his next move. It was now after midnight, which meant the road authority was probably not planning on plowing the roads anytime soon, and the accumulation quickly erasing the parking lot around you was a sure sign that it soon would be unsafe to drive.

If you stay here any longer, you might be stuck together all night, an evil idea glinted through his head, and he felt a pulse of desire run through him as he caught a whiff of your soft, sweet scent.

It would be kind of hot, the two of you snuggled in the backseat of his SUV, you clinging to him tightly to keep yourself warm through the storm as you used his parka as a blanket, the windows fogging up to give you two privacy as you moved tighter together, panting into each other’s mouths when you rubbed up against him and–

No. He couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. Urging his steadily inflating erection down, he glanced over to you, noticing you were still shivering.

He sighed. God, why did he have to get hard right now, in gray sweatpants no less? Nothing screamed “boner alert” more than seeing a dick swelling in light colored sweats. But you were still cold, and he decided he would rather risk you seeing him hard than your teeth chattering or you getting sick.

Seokjin removed his puffer, handing it to you. “Here, put this on,” he ordered, and you looked at him, a tremor rocking through your body as you tried to eke out a “thank you”.

You began to put the puffer over your peacoat, but Seokjin shook his head. “I think your peacoat is useless right now. Maybe you should take that off and just wear mine. And then, consider getting a new coat,” he teased.

You hesitated. “Uh,” you said. Seokjin’s eyebrow raised, and he swiftly adjusted himself in his joggers while you looked down at your coat before sighing and unbuttoning it.

Fuck. You still had on that same top from earlier, and Seokjin could now see that it wasn’t just a sexy, low cut top that showed your heavy and full breasts, but that it also had a large keyhole cutout through the back, which meant you didn’t wear a bra with it. He bit his lip as he took in your hard and prominent nipples. God, no wonder you were cold. You were practically naked.

His cock twitched, and any attempts he had at concealing his erection were useless. He was now definitely going to be fully hard for the rest of the drive.

You zipped yourself into Seokjin’s puffer and let out a satisfied sigh as you nuzzled into the warmth. Seokjin took the opportunity to snatch your peacoat from your lap and drape it over himself, praying that would help conceal some of the compass-pointing-north bullshit he was trying to stave off.

Unfortunately, you snuggled into his coat was just making it worse.

Clearing his throat, he started the car, and slowly began testing the surface of the parking lot. It was a little slick, but nothing too bad. If you stayed any longer, though, you would definitely be here overnight.

With a silent, sad nod to the outlook point, Seokjin prepared himself to head back to reality, where your moment of connection would be replaced by workplace congeniality.

About halfway down the mountain, the snow surely turned to a heavy rain, aggressively battering down on the windshield and making it nearly impossible to find the lines on the road.

“I’m sorry, I think I should pull over,” he apologized and you agreed easily, your shoulders relaxing a bit as he pulled over to the side of the road.

“Well, we never really got to finish talking about stuff anyway,” you offered generously.

Seokjin smirked back. “Yeah, we didn’t. Look, what I wanted to say earlier was that with streaming, you shouldn’t have to compromise on what you want to be successful. If people leave your stream because they can’t hear you baby voice their requests so they can get off, then fuck them. They aren’t the community of people you want to watch your content, anyway. Those are the type of people who are never satisfied, who will just demand more from you. Sooner or later they’ll be less kind and be aggressive and threatening. And you don’t deserve that, Y/N.”

He sucked in a breath. “You just need a chance to build confidence, that’s all. Assuming you even want to continue doing these streams. I know you said you don’t feel like you have much of a choice, but maybe I could help you out. Uh, I could give you a raise or something so you could quit! And with school, too, I’m sure we could figure out something! Maybe if it’s not too late you could go back and––”

You held up your hands, signaling for Seokjin to stop talking.

“I’ve made up my mind! And I don’t think giving me a raise or trying to help me with school would be a great way of maintaining that boundary we are supposed to have, remember? Something tells me a boss isn’t supposed to offer his employee an undeserved pay raise for her personal issues.” You huff.

You were right. Seokjin chuckled. “Okay, fair. I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to throw everything away like I did.”

You whipped your head over to him. “Listen, Seokjin. I appreciate that you care and don’t want things to happen to me. But I’m also not you. And you also didn’t throw everything away but that’s another topic completely, one I thought we discussed yesterday morning. Regardless, I’m getting a lot of mixed messages here and I need you to help me understand what exactly is happening right now. Are you my friend or my boss? Because right now it feels like you’re telling me what to do like you are in charge of me but hiding it behind the guise of friendship and that’s not how this works. So explain. Ideally before you drop me off and we don’t speak again until Monday.”

Seokjin swallowed hard, an anxiousness beginning to swirl in your stomach. This whole conversation felt like it was going south really quick. He scrambled to steady himself and took a deep breath.

“You’re right,” he said, running a hand through his hair. He hadn’t styled it today, and the black strands were sticking to his forehead from the melted snow. “I’m sorry. You have every right to decide. And you’d said before that this was a temporary pause. And even if it wasn’t, that’s also your choice.”

“Again, yes, you’re right. But I also don’t see why you seem to care so much!” Your volume raised in annoyance and you crossed your arms over your chest in a puff. “You don’t get to decide I’m some soft little flower who can’t advocate for herself! Like yeah, I feel shitty about what I did but I’m just trying to figure out my boundaries, just like you said earlier! So yes, I have the right to decide if I want to go back to school or not! Thanks for pointing that out!”

If he hadn’t been getting chewed out right now by you, Seokjin would’ve thought you were the cutest thing he’d ever seen, your mouth settled into a sharp frown and your eyebrows knit together as you argued with him.

Instead though, he felt like a jackass. He’d seriously overstepped in his attempts to protect you, and guilt washed through him as he realized he was placing himself into your shoes. Even if your situations were scarily similar, you still had the right to do what you wanted without his interference. Besides, his intention was to provide safety for you, not control. Maybe he’d underestimated you earlier and how you were utilizing your stream. Yes, you were uncomfortable, but it’s not like you were a child who was set to be taken advantage of, or that you’d make the same mistakes he would.

“I-I care about you, Y/N. We’re friends. I know being your boss changed a lot, and while I sign your paycheck and have to give you orders, it’s not like that change in role made me care less. It’s not that easy.”

You uncrossed your arms. “But,” you started, your tone softening, “you can’t both tell me what to do as my boss and tell me what to do as a friend. I’m not clocked in, Seokjin. And that’s why this is so fucking hard. Because my boss is the one who took me up a mountain after apologizing to me yesterday for his “gross misuse of power” when I’m the one who kissed you sitting on a fucking prep counter! And yeah, we were friends before you were my boss, and that means I learned to work with you and trust you as my coworker, and we shared interests so you can watch my streams and tell me about MapleStory. We have history and it’s not something we can deny. But you keep acting like I am not in control, like I am not an adult.

“I would love it if we could stay on this mountain forever,” you added, taking the words Seokjin was thinking earlier and making them real, “because, maybe then we could just stay friends. I miss you as my friend! And I wouldn’t feel so…weird now trying to figure out which guy, Boss Seokjin or Friend Seokjin, is talking to me.”

Seokjin was unsure what to say, just that he knew he’d fucked up yesterday not just with his behavior in the kitchen, but ultimately how he set boundaries with you.

“I don’t know what to do about it, Y/N,” he said weakly, honestly.

“Can I then offer a suggestion?” Your voice sounded frustrated, on the verge of yelling. He nodded.

“On this mountain, right now. You are my friend. And any other time when we aren’t at work, we are friends. We are not the first two people who started a friendship and had a power dynamic at work. I don’t know what happened in your past that makes this so hard for you, and you don’t need to tell me. But whatever you said yesterday, it wasn’t true. I want you to trust me when I say you didn’t take advantage of me. Was it kind of stupid and inappropriate on both our parts? Sure. But I’m not this weak, breakable thing. You said so yourself with my boundary-setting for my stream that I just need confidence to assert myself and make sure I don’t get taken advantage of. So let me start with you. Help me start with you.”

You leaned a little closer and Seokjin’s heart beat erratically. “I promise, Kim Seokjin, that whatever happened in the kitchen yesterday was consensual. At least on my end. And that I do hold you in regard as my boss during work hours most of the time. But I can’t fucking stand if you continue to uphold this standard when you talk to me as an authority and then immediately pull a hypocritical move and try to be my friend after. It’ll drive me crazy.”

Your voice was shaky now, like you were holding back tears. Seokjin fought the urge to pull you close to him, but god, how he wanted to.

“What you do need,” he asked and you sighed.

“Clear communication. On both sides. No more deciding for me. On anything. If I say no at work, it’s just as valid as saying no in private, even if it’s something you think is what’s best for me. Even if you don’t like it. Because you don’t know what really is or isn’t until I tell you.” He nodded in agreement.

“I can do that. And I’m sorry again, for how confusing this must’ve been. I acted selfishly when I decided that my position as your boss overruled and negated any of our history. It was never going to be as clean as I wanted it to be,” he apologized.

You managed a sad smile but nodded, a sign you accepted his apology.

“Thank you. And also, I do want to continue doing the streams. I didn’t get to say that before. I do want to try after dark stuff. Because it feels like it could be fun, could help me stay involved but less personal if that makes sense. And…” You trailed off, humming to yourself as you tried to find the words for your final thought.

“I really would like it if I could have your help in this. To help coach me in a way to maintain that boundary. You did have some really great points on execution. And I think maybe your experience in cam-leadership and management could help me both continue doing this but also finding what I want. And I need a friend for that. Not a boss or manager.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened as he caught the last of what you were saying.

“Wait,” he said, trying to put the pieces together. Were you asking what he thought you were asking? “So…you want me to help you run an adult-only, after dark gaming stream?” You laughed.

“I need you to be my confidence coach,” you clarified. “Help me learn how to say no to my fanbase and keep myself calm throughout a stream so I don’t compromise. And like, I don’t know. We can iron out the details, the idea is so fresh to me, but I need you, my caring friend Seokjin, to make sure I don’t break the terms of service again and ban me from streaming.”

He blinked a few times, unsure how you’d arrived at the conclusion that he would be any good at this.

But Seokjin knew he would be. He did this multiple times a week, and it’s how he knew you were heading toward trouble. What if he could help you learn how to protect yourself? Because you were right, you didn’t need anyone to save you. But you maybe needed someone to show you. And he could be that person.

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll do it.”

As Seokjin pulls up to your apartment nearly an hour later, you feel a slight sadness that your night is over. On the way home, as the rain steadily poured and the city lights came back into a clear view, you’d felt a tug of worry in your gut that because you were back in the city, your agreement to stay friends wasn’t real, and that any moment Seokjin would be cold and formal, withdrawing his agreement to help you with streaming.

You’d had the idea in the car in somewhat of an epiphany, sorting through the confusing dynamic you’d been shoved into. It made sense to you, now. Instead of trying to model yourself after the master, why not learn from the man himself?

Despite your initial anxiety that he would back out, Seokjin if anything is all the more reassuring, gently nudging you with your peacoat in his hands to signal it is time to trade. You nod sleepily, shrugging it off your shoulders and trying to ignore the disappointment you have in no longer being enveloped in his warm scent.

As you tuck your arms back through your sleeves, Seokjin gets out of his side of the car, the rain still beating harshly, but he appears even more determined to open your door for you, opening an umbrella to keep you and your coat from getting pounded on.

You try to insist on sharing the umbrella, but Seokjin shakes his head, guiding you forward toward your apartment complex’s front door.

“Thank you,” you say as you step under the lip of the roof with him, smiling up at Seokjin, who is already soaked. His black hair is piecey and dripping down his face, plastering a few disheveled pieces across his forehead. “God, you really should’ve used the umbrella too! You’re drenched!”

Seokjin laughs a hearty laugh, the squeaky, windshield wiper one that makes your chest burn. “Please, that coat you’re wearing is pathetic. I had said dress for the warmth and you picked one of the worst things you could find. Even a standard issue blazer has more weather resistance than that thing!”

“Excuse you, but this coat most of the time is fine. And also, I thought you were just saying it as a formality! If I’d known we were heading into a literal mountain I would have changed my clothes!” You bicker back, your laughter filling the space between you two.

“Yeah, well, now you know for next time,” he says, eyes flickering with something you almost categorize as lust.

You beam. This time the idea of next time feels possible. If Seokjin and you can work on these weird work boundaries, there might be a hope something comes from this after all. Unless he’s gay, which you still can’t quite figure out, but you try not to think about that as he shakes his head like a big dog.

“Okay, Sparky,” you joke and glance down at your phone. It’s very late now, and your body is quickly succumbing to the exhaustion of the day. “I’ll see you Monday?”

Seokjin’s shoulders sag, and he sighs, stepping back into the rain. “Yeah, I should probably let you go now. I’ll see you on Monday. And Y/N?”

His lips turn into a smug smirk as the rain soaks through his clothes. “Don’t forget that you promised me a crate of julienned carrots”.

#bts smut #seokjin smut #jin smut #kim seokjin #seokjin x reader #seokjin #bts fanfic #ksj #ksj x reader #ksj smut #ksj fic

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parad-ice-lostandfound · 5 months

Text

Prompt: "Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas. I love you."

Pairing: Vil Schoenheit x GN!Reader (with background RookVil x GN!Reader)

Genre: Heavy Angst, proceed with caution

TW: Major character death, suicide, heavy drinking.

AN: Its my birthday! I dont know why, but i usually feel terrible on my birthday, so I gave you guys the option of choosing between a happy fic for today, or an angst. You chose angst, so here we are. Please exercise caution before, during and after you read. If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please get in touch with professionals. You are loved, and will be missed, so please take care of yourself. If at any point you feel like stopping reading, please do. Your mental health comes before anything else. I hope you enjoy... Merry Christmas to everyone!

Vil sat down on his couch, sinking into its warmth with his fifth glass of wine in hand. Once upon a time, he would have frowned upon doing something like this. He was a notorious lightweight, and despised the headache that accompanied him on the day after.

But now, the pleasant buzz that the alcohol created in his mind was a welcome distraction.

Vil's gaze fell on the TV remote. He reached for it and switched it on, it's artificial light casting on his face and lighting up the otherwise dark room.

"And in other news, acclaimed actor and director Vil Schoenheit announces his retirement from the entertainment industry at the fairly young age of 34. A public statement was released earlier this month by his agency, right after the release of his latest film, 'Eternity'. This news has come as a shock to many of the star's fans, but-"

Vil tuned out the TV as the newscaster spoke of how well his last movie was doing in theatres and how everyone wished him well in the future. Words blurred into sounds and the TV screen into colours as he took another sip of his wine, closing his eyes as he tipped his head back on the couch.

His phone vibrated inside his pocket. Removing it, Vil saw a message from Epel.

Merry Christmas. Hope you're having a good time. Mawmaw asked me to send you this pic, and told me to invite you to Harveston sometime for some apple pie.

Underneath it was a picture of Epel and his grandmother in their kitchen, both holding a plate of said apple pie in their hands.

Vil smiled, then decided to check his other messages. A voice message from Jack wishing him Merry Christmas, a whole paragraph of text courtsey of Rook, and many more messages from his coworkers and acquaintances. He replied to every one of them, answering each with a thoughtful message that somehow his alcohol-addled brain could type coherently.

As lilac eyes wandered over his chat log, they caught one last message. It was from his manager. Or, well, ex-manager.

Vil.

In all the years I have spent managing young actors, I have not seen one as talented and dedicated as you. Not many spend their time honing and perfecting their craft as you do. It is a shame to see you leaving the spotlight so soon, but I know this is something you have needed for quite some time.

Take this time to take care of yourself, Vil. (Name) would have wanted you to. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

Vil stilled as he read the last few sentences. "(Name)...".

The moonlight painted a solemn scene as it fell on the lone man, coloring his blonde locks an enchanting silver as he picked up his wine glass. He gulped the drink in one go, the slightly bitter liquid burning his throat in a familiar manner as he placed the glass on the coffee table.

Vil smiled, then tried to stand. The five glasses of wine had begun showing their effect, and he had to lean against the armrest of the couch to stop the world from spinning in front of his eyes.

Slowly, he made his way to the master bedroom. Upon reaching, he walked over to the bed, forgoing his usual skincare routine in favour of tucking himself in.

Vil sat upright in bed, eyes trained on the lone flowerpot kept at the windowsill. The lilies stirred ever so slightly under the light breeze coming in through the open window, as though shivering under the weight of his gaze. Gaze filled with profound love, and sorrow, and resolve.

"(Name)..."

Vil's voice was not more than a whisper, yet that one word uttered from his lips seemed to fill the silence that shrouded the room. He took a shaky breath, hand closing around the bottle of sleeping pills he had on his bedside table.

The clock struck twelve from somewhere within the house, it's soft sound echoing throughout. Outside, Vil heard cheers coming from people who were spending Christmas with their loved ones.

He looked back at the red lilies, and smiled. A genuine, unpracticed smile that had not seen the light of day ever since the love of his life died.

"Merry Christmas (Name). I love you."

Rook was a hunter, through and through. He prided himself on his observation skills, on his judgments. Usually, he could see things coming from a mile away.

He did not see Vil's suicide from a mile away.

The blonde haired man was one of the first to be informed of it, and also the one to whom most of his possessions were bequeathed to.

Rook did not care much for most of the things Vil had left him. He had also left him with a hole in his heart, and a permanent pain in his soul. Yet, as he gazed at the flowerpot with the red tulips in it, and the matching one with white magnolias beside it, he could not blame Vil.

Calloused hands trembled as they caressed the petals of the flowers. It felt almost sacrilegious to touch, as if the pure flowers were taunting him for the blood that stained his hands.

Tears dropped down onto the silky petals, clinging to them like drops of fresh dew. Rook's hands slid down to touch the flowerpots, where the letters engraved spelled out the names of two people he thought of as the very epitome of beauty.

The lilies grew on the essence and memory of (Name) Schoenheit, and the magnolias welcomed the ashes of Vil Schoenheit.

Red lilies: Eternal love and passion

White magnolias: Nobility and Purity

Masterlist...

#ice writes #twisted wonderland #twst #vil x reader #twst vil x reader #twst vil #twst vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #vil schoenheit #gn!reader #merry twstmas event #tw suicide #tw sui implied #tw heavy drinking #tw drinking

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henrioo · 6 months

Note

Hi, I hope you’re having a nice day! Can I please ask a scenario for Somker? Basically he’s in love with the rear admiral reader; at the end of a fight against pirates the reader is scared because he can’t find Smoker and when he finally found him the reader confess his love involuntary.

Have a good day/night and take all the time you need!

°•*⁀➷ POST BATTLE CONFESSIONS: SMOKER

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "You and Smoker are completely in love with each other, the problem is that neither of you can confess it. It took some heartbreak, stupid pirates, ridiculous powers, and a lot of drama to make you two open your eyes to love. But hey, what matters is that it worked!”

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : GENDER NEUTRAL READER, GENDER PRONOUNS, NO GENDER SPECIFIED, Smoker is a bit toxic and childish but he apologizes, extremely dramatic, poorly written fights because I'm bad at it, weak ending because my brain was already melted, reader conquered the entire naval base, no specific time, it could be before or after the time skip. Too much drama and not enough fluff.

꒰ WC ꒱ : 7k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : So I should have turned this in literally months ago, but my ass couldn't do it. So as an apology I made a huge story, I really took my time on it because it was crazy to correct and translate such a big story. It wasn't very good and I apologize for that, sorry for taking so long and enjoy!

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Smoker was an extremely professional Marine. He woke up at the same time every day, went to work on time, did all his daily chores and paperwork, remembered to check in on all his subordinates, and meticulously reviewed all of his upcoming missions on the high seas. Of course, sometimes he was also not extremely professional... when he told his superiors to go fuck themselves and did exactly everything contrary to the orders he received, but well, he can say he was extremely professional in 90% of his time working.

That is, until you were placed under his supervision and order, oh yes... that made Smoker look in the mirror and question everything about his professionalism that he loved to be proud of. You... wow, how could he even begin to describe you without sounding like a man completely in love? Something he was definitely not...

You were determined, that justified you rising through the ranks so quickly, you were also very confident of your skill and capabilities. You never took shit from anyone, it could be the fleet admiral himself, if you thought he was wrong you would raise your voice and defend your point. You were also very kind to your subordinates and marines in general, which was surprising since you managed to be extremely serious and authoritarian, as well as very demanding when carrying out your missions.

You also knew the right time for everything, the time to be professional, the time to be a relaxed boss and even the time to be a shoulder to lean on if someone needed it. You put a lot of effort into your work and that's why many Marines were excited to work with you, knowing your incredible ability and determination to always complete missions in the best way possible.

This is just about your personality... if he were to talk about your appearance? Ah... where would he start? Every time your hair shone in the sun he thought it was unfair for someone to be so adored by the gods to be born so beautiful, every time your eyes shone with excitement at a new mission or at the end of a successful one he knew that his heart hit harder. Every time he saw your bright smile and heard your warm and genuine laugh, it made his legs go weak and he was forced to take a deep breath to concentrate. Every time he saw a bit of your skin outside your uniform, marked by the scars from your journey that you displayed with pride when necessary, he wanted to touch you and know if his skin was as soft as it looked.

You were something that made Smoker feel things he never felt before. At first he was reluctant to have a subordinate with a high position, usually newbies who rose so high were petty about their position and thought they would surpass their superiors easily, which was basically dealing with a child. But you were different, you were obedient and professional, you were mainly determined to learn everything you could from Smoker, always making it clear that you admired his reputation and experience as a Marine and Vice Admiral.

It didn't take long for you to win over Smoker, whether it was just when you listened to him carefully when planning the missions and always had something important and valuable to add, or it was just when you organized the paperwork when it was time to hand it over to him, making his job easier... or maybe whether it was when you showed a little more special interest in him, bringing him coffee in the morning or even at night when you knew he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. It could also be the times you invited him to lunch, even when at first he politely declined you never lost your smile and always said "next time then!".

Unfortunately for the vice admiral, he wasn't the only one won over by his charm. All the Marines working under Smoker were more than in love and determined to show it in some way, he had already lost count of how many bouquets, letters and chocolates he had confiscated from his subordinates that were all addressed to you. Just maintaining professionalism was his excuse, what a shame it would be for a Marine to date his boss, it was Smoker's duty to make sure no harmful rules or situations were created. Of course he wasn't stopping the gifts from reaching you out of pure jealousy and fear that you would fall in love with a man other than him.

Every day he repeated that he was going to make a move on you, breaking his own morals about dating some subordinate, but every day when you greeted him smiling and made his stomach turn, he immediately changed his mind, filling himself with shyness and fear of rejection, so he would treat you with some harshness and pretend that he didn't feel anything too much for you. Maybe he wasn't doing such a good job since Tashigi had noticed his passion... and well, if Tashigi's slowness hadn't prevented her from noticing Smoker's fall, it meant that he wasn't hiding it as well as he thought.

The truth was Smoker didn't feel confident with you, you were so... amazing. He was very... rude, often called scary by his subordinates because of his extremely demanding work, it was impossible for you to accept a relationship with him. Besides, he didn't even know how to do boyfriend things! He had gone on a few casual dates but a long term relationship was different... What if he wasn't a good boyfriend and you left?! It was one thing to have his rejection but still be able to have his presence or friendship, it was another thing to break your heart and make you so angry with him that you never looked him in the face again.

That's why he let his insecurities win and stop him from making a move on you. He tried to convince himself that maintaining a professional relationship would be the best choice for both of them... but he wasn't sure how long he could put up with this lame excuse. This of course didn't stop him from changing little by little with you, this was something that everyone noticed and even Smoker didn't escape hearing some rumors from his subordinates about how he was kinder to the Rear Admiral (Y/N).

Gradually his responses were less rude, he also began to seek out your opinions more during missions, showing how much he trusted your abilities. He gradually accepted having lunch with you or even patrolling together when you were in a city. He also relaxed a lot more in your presence and didn't mind when you invaded his office, even if you just wanted to check on him and talk a little instead must have a professional reason for the visit.

And this ended up making Smoker develop an addiction, if he spent more than two hours without knowing anything about you he would instinctively look for news. He would casually ask others about you, he would also look for you on the ship or base they were at, pretending he was just going on patrol to make sure everything was okay and not that he was eager to hear your beautiful voice and feel a little of your heat. He didn't even realize that little by little he couldn't stay away from you for long...

On one of those days where he was looking for you, he found a scene that made his heart stop for a few seconds. There you were in all your glory, your uniform always clean and organized, some papers in your hand and accompanied by a low-ranking Marine. The problem in the scene was the huge bouquet of roses in the marine's hand and a red box of sweets with a huge red bow. Smoker quickly hid with his powers and listened carefully to the conversation, would now be the time he would be sure he would never have a chance with you?

"I'm sorry, I can't accept your confession... much less reciprocate your feelings" You said in a gentle way, even in a situation that could be uncomfortable you were always worried about not hurting other people unnecessarily.

"But why not?!" The Marine didn't seem willing to give up and Smoker wondered if he should intervene just in case the situation became even more uncomfortable for you.

"I'm sorry, I'm already in love with someone else" That was enough to make the marine step back and apologize for the inconvenience... but it also made Smoker retreat from his mission to look for you and return to his office, he had a bitter taste in your mouth and your stomach felt sick.

Smoker changed after that. You didn't need to be very smart to notice this, Tashigi was worried by the way he was acting, working late at night and staying more and more in his office instead of checking if everything was going well. His own subordinates noticed, they tried hard to do everything perfectly trying to somehow improve their commander's mood... hell even Hina noticed it during a call! She had even provoked him by asking if he had been dumped and that was why he was in a bad mood.

But out of all the people who worked with Smoker, you were the one who was most affected by the change. You continued to act normally with him, inviting him to lunch, bringing him coffee, trying to have some conversations during the day... but different from the shy and slightly nervous reception he used to give you because he wasn't sure how to react to your warm and friendly way, all you got was a cold shoulder and ruder responses than when you arrived to work with him. It was almost as if he was angry or simply hated you, he simply treated you as if you couldn't stand his presence. Little by little you started having a sad look every time he appeared, you became nervous and silent as if you were afraid to speak around him, it didn't take long for you to slowly move away, confused and hurt by his recent actions.

Of course, he only found out about this again when he secretly overheard another conversation of yours. You and Tashigi weren't supposed to be in the cafeteria so late at night, but there you were, talking and drinking some hot drinks to combat the cold of the night.

"I just... don't understand him" You sighed tiredly, your shoulders were slumped and you had a sad tone, very different from your excited and happy tone that you loved to use with everyone.

"Captain Smoker can be quite... huh... distant" Tashigi sighed too, she didn't know exactly how to comfort you... it didn't even make sense to her! Smoker had softened considerably since your arrival, everyone had noticed that he was starting to like you more than he should, so why was he suddenly acting like he despised you?

"Maybe I did something wrong..." You said again, demonstrating your fragility much more now, Smoker had never thought that you cared so much about his approval. You were so sure of yourself and didn't even mind getting into trouble with your superiors just to stand up for what you believed in, so why did his opinion and approval matter so much?

He didn't want to stay to hear the rest of the conversation, he already felt terrible enough and he wasn't sure if he could control himself if he heard you talking again about how he had hurt you. Stupid, stupid, stupid! It was all his head could say, you had treated him with so much kindness and because of jealousy and envy that he didn't even have the right to feel, he made you feel inferior and even hurt by his treatment. What was he thinking?!

It wasn't like he could force you to fall in love with him too, you deserve to be happy regardless of who you like, so why did he act like he owned you?! Being hurt and jealous was acceptable, after all, a romantic rejection can be difficult, but taking out his frustration and feelings on you as if it were your fault was unforgivable! For one thing it was extremely unprofessional and secondly it was being so immature and petty that he felt ashamed of himself when he finally realized his actions!

Of course he would apologize to you, he barely slept thinking about how he would show that he was truly sorry for having treated you so unfairly. The next morning as he walked to the base all he could think of was the best way to make it up to you, maybe flowers? Maybe some gifts? A date? Shouldn't it be something more sincere... a letter?! His head was full and he already felt a headache from thinking so much.

That's when he heard a scream, it didn't take him long to find the source, a civilian was running limping away from something in a hurry. He was quick to help him stabilize trying to figure out what was going on.

"What happened?! Are you okay?" He asked as calmly as he could muster, which wasn't much, it was too early for an attack but criminals didn't have that kind of basic sense.

"Pirates... they... stealing..." The way he spoke was slurred and a little nonsensical, it was as if he was tired or out of breath, before Smoker could question any further the civilian blacked out. His first reaction was to check his pulse, it was beating and he thought the guy had fainted from fear or shock, until the civilian in his arms started... snoring?

It took him a few seconds but he soon noticed something strange: the civilian was sleeping?! Who could sleep right after being attacked by pirates?! No... this didn't seem normal, there was something strange about it and it seemed more dangerous than normal. He quickly grabbed his den den mushi and called for reinforcements, warning his subordinates to take extra care as they could be dealing with some type of poison or anesthetic, but he also made clear the possibility of a Devil Fruit user and asked everyone to stay safe and pay double attention when checking the perimeter.

Following the next scenes with caution left Smoker confused and with his guard up as he realized that what he was going to face was something… strange. There was a trail that led through the city full of sleeping civilians, some civilians tried to wake up their friends and family without success, it was as if everyone was in a deep trance unable to come out of dreamland. Luckily that was all that seemed to have happened to them, besides of course the open bags and lack of accessories such as jewelry — which only proved that all the sleeping people had been robbed — all the civilians were uninjured and even had happy faces as if that was the best sleep of their entire lives... which seems very likely to be true.

Smoker continued walking until he reached an emptier area of the city, it was where most of the buildings were still under construction, which meant that there weren't many people walking around outside of construction work hours. There was a small group of pirates rummaging through bags and evaluating belongings, none of them really seemed like a threat but what worried the Vice Admiral was how they had made so many people fall asleep when they seemed to be so…stupid.

There was no need to get too close for his presence to be known, he quickly prepared his jitte ready to quickly arrest all these criminals and figure out a way to wake up the civilians and then return to his ordinary work day. The weaker pirates quickly trembled in fear as they fought among themselves whether to flee or try to fight knowing well the vice admiral's fame and power. Until one of them, who could have been the first mate, took the lead with a confident smile while speaking loudly to motivate all his companions and subordinates.

“Don’t be scared, you cowards! Have you forgotten who we have here? Who is our captain? As long as we have Captain Sleepyhead no one will be able to defeat us!” Upon finishing his short speech, all the other pirates quickly cheered loudly as their fear was replaced by newfound confidence and clear false faith.

“Sleepyhead? So this is the jerk who made those civilians fall asleep? I can't say I'm disappointed since I really didn't expect much…” he said with an irritated huff, pirates always think they are great until they are defeated and realize that they still have a lot to learn.

“Hah… we’re pretty confident, aren’t we, Vice Admiral Smoker?” A man with a long purple coat came out from among the other pirates, he wore a hat full of feathers, brown gloves, pants with a questionable pattern and had so much jewelry that he looked like a child wearing all of his mother's accessories at the same time.

"Considering that you know me and have this ridiculous outfit you must be that Captain Sleepyhead..." Smoker mentally searched about this pirate but couldn't really remember, which could mean he didn't have many accomplishments or had just started this life criminal, but it was still not enough reason to let down our guard and underestimate him, after all there was still a secret ability in this pirate that could give him a great advantage in the fight.

“It offends me a little that you don't know me... but when the newspapers announce that I defeated the famous Vice Admiral Smoker I'm sure the entire Grand Line will recognize me!” He said self-centeredly as he laughed, being cheered by all the idiotic pirates following him.

“In your dreams... the most you'll get today is a beating and a one-way ticket to prison” Smoker never stopped being irritated by this blind confidence of the pirates, especially when they didn't know exactly how strong they were. Boasting about being able to defeat an enemy without really being sure that your strength is capable of defeating him is purely stupid... luckily it was this stupidity that made it easier for Smoker to find an opening and defeat them without too many problems.

This seemed to be enough to anger or embarrass the said captain, as his face contorted in anger as he quickly got into an attack position, the other pirates were armed and prepared but did not seem to have any intention of interfering in their captain's fight. Partly it was an advantage not having to deal with so many at once, but it didn't mean Smoker could take his eyes off them, as it wouldn't be the first time he was attacked by a pirate who pretended not to invade the fight just to give a sneak attack trying to get an advantage, so all attention at that moment would be essential.

The captain wasn't that fast, so Smoker had enough time to grab his weapon and block the first attack, the man was using a dagger that was probably hidden in his coat considering how quickly he was able to draw it. As it was not a long-range weapon and was also very accurate, he seemed to be looking for some unprotected opening or vital point to be able to injure the vice admiral, but unfortunately, thanks to Smoker's devil fruit, he was not able to even scratch his marine outfit. Of course, this fact only seemed to irritate the captain more and more.

“Hah… a Logia isn’t it? I'm not very good at memorizing facts about my enemies, I guess it was my fault for trying to attack you without knowing that beforehand…” the captain said laughing and shrugging his shoulders as he took a considerable distance from Smoker.

“Admitting that you’re stupid in the middle of a fight isn’t exactly a pretty move…” the vice admiral wasn’t exactly the type to provoke pirates… but his mood wasn’t the best because of the mess he made with (y/n), so he urgently needed someone to take out all his frustration on. Who better than a stupid pirate who he would throw in jail and forget existed a few weeks later?

“You always think too much of yourself, don’t you?” The pirate now had a look of pure anger, it seemed he was a man who was easily provoked, considering that just a few acidic comments from Smoker were enough to make him like that. “Unfortunately for you, you're not the only one with cool tricks, you asked me how I managed to knock out all those civilians, right? Maybe I should show you then!”

The captain removed his two brown gloves and his coat, Smoker would have paid a little more attention to the man's appearance if he hadn't come running towards him again. He seemed a little faster than the first time, which made the marine aware that he might not be using all his strength in the first attack, but this time the fight was much stranger than he could have expected.

Of course, Smoker has fought against pirates who used swords, daggers, arrows, guns or even just punches... But none of them had attacked him as if they were playing tag and the pirate was the tagger. It was a little bizarre and the Marine wasn't sure how he was going to write the scene he was experiencing, but he knew he wouldn't forget it so easily.

The captain had both palms open and was trying to touch Smoker, he didn't punch or try to scratch, he just tried to touch him exactly like a childish game. At first he thought it might be some trick, but now it was just getting embarrassing, the pirate said he had a devil fruit, so shouldn't he be doing something a little more incredible and unrealistic like… well, Smoker didn't know, but something bizarre like shooting bullets through the palm of your hand, anything that seemed like a real threat.

“I think I'm tired of playing with you” the marine said after a few minutes of this game where he just blocked and attacked a few times, being met by the man's attempts to touch him and his dodging of all the blows. With enviable strength and precision, Smoker quickly used his weapon to hit the side of the man's stomach, planning to stun him and throw him to the ground to facilitate his immobilization. The blow landed accurately, but something that the marine ended up overlooking because he thought the pirate posed no immediate danger was that he let the man touch him, which seemed exactly what he wanted.

The pirate captain was forcefully thrown aside as he fell to the ground and was dragged through the stone streets, his crew shouted worriedly for him and some men went to check on him while the others continued shouting insults at Smoker. Although he had received a very strong and well-aimed blow, all the pirate did was sit down wiping his face clean of the dirt while having an evil and smug smile on his face, his face said something like “I got you”.

“Hah… for a vice admiral you managed to leave a good opening for me… enough of an opening to put you exactly where I needed you! Feel my attack now and succumb to my power!” He said laughing as his men helped him to his feet.

Smoker was about to question what the man was suggesting, which in the Marine's head seemed like more talk from a drunk or even a drug user, but before he could open his mouth he felt it. First it was a stitch in her chest that took her breath away, then a pain in her head that quickly made her feel heavy, her limbs trembled and became heavy... tired. Smoker's entire body was extremely tired, it was as if he had been awake for days without a break, his eyes burned and it hurt to stay open, he had to lean on his weapon so he wouldn't fall to the ground due to sudden weakness.

“Huh, what does it look like now? It seems that now you will finally be able to understand the awesomeness of my power! Succumb to the power of my powerful sleep-sleep no mi! The sleep fruit that allows me to be able to put anyone I touch to sleep!” The captain delivered his entire speech extravagantly and confidently while his crew applauded and cheered for him. All Smoker could focus on at that moment besides the enormous drowsiness was how stupidly annoying that pirate's voice was.

“Wow, if you hadn't explained it detail by detail I would never have discovered…” Smoker closed his eyes tightly and forced them open immediately, he swallowed a yawn and used the support of his weapon so he could stand up again. He was still extremely drowsy but he couldn't afford to let this pirate escape without being sure that his subordinates would be able to capture him, plus it was his mistake for being hit without considering the consequences, so now he wouldn't let a little sleep stop him from finishing his work.

“Ew!” The captain's eyes widened when he saw Smoker getting up and practically ready to continue the battle, he also noticed that the vice admiral seemed much more irritated at being hit and this made the pirate shake from top to bottom. “How are you still awake?!” He screamed in shock in confusion “You… You should have fallen asleep immediately with my touch combined with my power!” Thanks to the marine's confused and tired head, Smoker wasn't sure if the man was scared, angry, frustrated or shocked... Not that it would make much of a difference.

"I guess you're not that powerful..." Smoker smiled and this time he wasn't going to stand still to be attacked again, using his devil fruit he quickly turned into smoke as he ran towards the pirate and attacked him again, launching him towards on top of his crew, all falling like bowling pins.

The vice admiral prepared to advance for another attack, but a wave of drowsiness hit him again and his knees weakened, his breathing became labored as he struggled to stay awake. Luckily he managed to hear in the distance the countless footsteps of what must have been one of the squadrons of marines that he called in as reinforcements, it didn't take long for them to begin to advance on the other weaker pirates and some came to their commander's aid.

“Smoker-sama! Are you okay?!" One of the Marines came over and helped him to his feet, although he still had a firm grip on his weapon, not trusting that the poor Marine would support his full weight.

Smoker opened his mouth to explain the situation as best as his tired and heavy head would allow, but upon hearing the screams and sounds of bodies falling to the ground his gaze quickly turned in search of the confusion. That's when he saw some marines lying on the ground, the same marines who had run after the captain using a devil fruit. Considering what the Vice Admiral had already seen, he could assume that the men on the ground were now in a deep asleep state. At least they weren't hurt but that still didn't make the situation better, since even just sleeping there were fewer men to fight the pirates.

"Shit! Don't approach the captain! He has a devil fruit that can put others to sleep!” Smoker screamed loudly and let go of the Marine who was helping him, there was no way around it, he needed to be himself to defeat this captain and guarantee the safety of his men. Low-ranking Marines wouldn't be able to handle a devil fruit, sometimes even high-ranking ones couldn't handle it! So it was his job to sort it out with the captain and leave the other pirates to his men.

“Commander Smoker!” The Marine shouted in concern seeing how unstable the white-haired man's form was, it was obvious that the Admiral himself would be the next man to fall to the ground overcome with sleep “Please don't get involved in the fight anymore! Rear Admiral (Y/N) is already on their way! They squad were taking care of the civilians, but they must have been coming here due to the confusion!” The man tried to convince him, but all of Smoker's subordinates knew how stubborn he could be, at least now the commander was a little more relaxed as he was sure that someone stronger was coming as backup in case something went wrong.

Ignoring the marine's words, he took one last hard breath trying to get his head to shake off the sleep and then charged at the pirate captain again. He only needs to knock him out or immobilize him long enough for his subordinates to use handcuffs or sea stone nets, making it impossible for the pirate to use his powers and making him basically harmless against larger numbers.

The captain was once again startled by Smoker's attack, but he now seemed a little more confident than before and didn't take long to block the attack with his own weapon. The marine managed to land a few good blows but nothing seemed to knock the pirate down who kept trying to touch him even though he was already hurt from so many blows, the two separated quickly and the commander heard more people approaching again, he just needed to hold out a little longer and there would be enough reinforcements to finish this mess.

Determined to try to finish this as quickly as possible, knowing that his body was already giving up cooperating with him, Smoker advanced ready for one last attack... He just didn't expect the captain to grab his weapon, smiling confidently and leaving the marine confused.

“That hurt like hell…” the man laughed weakly and Smoker could see the blood dripping from him holding the direct attack with his bare hands, what was going through his head? "But it doesn't matter, it will be worth it when you find out that I don't need to touch a person to put them to sleep... I can easily induce someone with my power if I can just touch an object that my prey is also touching.” ” he smiled mischievously and the marine's gaze dropped to his weapon, a small purple aura was surrounding it and attached to his arm. “I said you would succumb to my power Vice Admiral, I will put you to sleep for more years than Sleeping Beauty herself slept!” The pirate said with a malicious and victorious laugh, finally taking pride in having won against a vice admiral.

Smoker didn't have much time to react, he soon felt his knees hitting the floor as his entire body became heavier than an anvil, his entire body was numb and tired. Little by little his heart beat slower, his breathing became calm and his eyes slowly closed, he didn't even feel pain when he fell face down on the stone floor of the street where they were fighting. The last thing he thought he heard was someone calling his name in a worried manner, but he couldn't see or identify who the voice belonged to.

When Smoker's senses finally returned, everything still seemed very strange. His head was hurting and his body was heavy and sore as if he hadn't moved in days, he also felt a little confused and nauseous and it was as if he had gone to bed sick and woke up even worse. He had to try a few times before his eyes finally opened, when he did the light was a little uncomfortable but the room wasn't extremely bright.

His throat was dry and it took him a few seconds to finally wake up completely to better analyze where he was. The room had white and blue walls, the window was large and gave a view of a huge garden or park, the curtain was light blue and prevented the sun from completely taking over the place. The door was closed and there was just some furniture, a chest of drawers in front of the bed, two armchairs next to it and nothing else, apart from the obvious medical equipment next to him, nothing else was needed to confirm that he was in the hospital.

He had some wires connected, an IV, and what looked like things to measure his heart rate, but he didn't seem to have any bandages under his hospital clothes so he could assume he wasn't in a serious condition. He leaned back against the pillows and sighed as he thought about what he was going to do now that he woke up, his head was sore and he didn't fully remember what had happened.

He decided to lift his arm to try to get out of bed, but a huge weight prevented him from doing so, when he looked to the side he noticed something that had been there the whole time and he hadn't noticed: you. None other than Rear Admiral (Y/n), was sleeping in an armchair next to his bed and hugged Smoker's arm as if you were afraid he would leave while you couldn't notice and stop him.

Smoker's face became extremely hot and he was sure it was redder than a pepper... Why were you there? And still so close... Smoker had never touched you beyond a few pats on the shoulder and professional and stupid things, but there you were, not only hugging his arm but practically sleeping on top of him.

You seemed very peaceful, but when he looked closer he could see that you actually looked tired. Your face was a little thinner and paler, in addition to the dark bags under his eyes, which only showed that you had slept terribly in the last few days, but why all this? What had happened to cause you so much concern? Was it possible that it was… Him?

Smoker always heard that when you were in love with someone, all it took was one look for your heart to beat fast enough to jump out of your chest... But now he was confused, his heart was so calm and warm that it was almost as if he was dying. You were so beautiful, you were always beautiful and incredible when you were working or giving orders, but there was something there in that very domestic scene that seemed to make you a thousand times more beautiful...

He didn't even notice when he moved his free hand to put it in your hair and it was as soft as he always imagined it would be, slowly he began to caress the strands, making a nervous and shy stroke. What was that? One of Smoker's most embarrassing dreams? Being close to you, so intimately and doing such domestic and simple things like just stroking each other's hair or just sleeping side by side... It made his heart rejoice and his cheeks feel warm, yes... It was really obvious that he was completely in love with you.

Little by little your face started to contort, first you had a simple smile and maybe you were even purring because you were so comfortable, soon after you started to have a confused and nervous face maybe finally understanding what was happening, then when finally understood that there was someone touching you, you immediately woke up. You jumped up that made Smoker move away and you looked like a soldier who felt so desperate because fell asleep in the middle of the war, or as if you had lost something extremely important.

You looked around scared as if you were afraid of a ghost and when your gaze finally landed on Smoker, completely awake and looking at you in surprise, your eyes filled with tears and you threw yourself at him, climbing onto the bed and hugging him so tight that you felt he hadn't had any broken ribs before now he had definitely gotten some...

“SMOKER!” You screamed as you grabbed him as if you missed him so much that it was painful to bear, the shocking thing for him was that you were so emotional to the point of crying, you had never shown weakness and emotions like that so easily before.

“(Y-Y/N)!?” He stuttered your name nervously, he didn't expect you to hug him as soon as you saw him awake. He swallowed deeply without knowing what to do, their hands slowly rested on his waist, touching you but still far from hugging you, too afraid that it was just a dream and the moment he touched you you would disappear.

“You woke up… You finally woke up” you sniffled and now you seemed to be stopping crying to finally calm down, your concern was genuine and this made Smoker even more confused and curious. You slowly moved away, sitting in front of him, the two of you were still very close but Smoker thought it best to take his hands off your waist, although you still had one hand on his stomach.

"Why are you crying?" He sighed and instinctively moved his hand to your cheek, trying to wipe away your tears.

“I was worried… You never woke up and the doctors didn’t know what to do… I thought we might lose you” You sighed but didn’t move away from his gentle touch.

"What do you mean? My head feels like shit…” he mumbled irritably and little by little his memories came back “Ah! The pirate, that devil fruit user isn’t it?”

“Yes, the power of the sleep-sleep fruit… The other marines who were hit by it slept for a maximum of two days… But you were in a type of coma for a week” you explained looking at him with concern and joy “It's a relief that you woke up, I couldn't kill that pirate because you taught that we should prioritize being arrested alive... But when I saw you lying down and no one could wake you up, I... I swore I would make that bastard regret touching you !” You screamed angrily and punched the bed, in this case a light punch to his stomach that made him jump in fright and you cried desperately for an apology while Smoker held back his laughter.

“You did well, you managed to control your emotions during a fight and carry out the arrest without any problems…” He sighed in relief that you didn't have difficulty with that idiotic pirate “A week in? That’s crazy… It must have been my biggest vacation this year” he sighed, laughing at the joke and you laughed along.

“You worried a lot of people, the doctors had to expel a lot of marines from here who wanted to thank you... And a lot of civilians too” you smiled thinking how adored Smoker was by everyone, whether civilians or his own subordinates.

“Good… That’s good… Huh, what… Did you come visit me today?” He asked somewhat shyly and looked away with his cheeks getting hot.

“Ah… Not exactly…” he felt his heart breaking at your statement “A visit means I would leave and come back… And well… I'm kind of sleeping in this armchair like since you were moved into this room.” Smoker's head spun so fast he could hear a snap, he looked at you in shock at that unexpected confession, the most he thought was that you would admit that you cared about his well-being and that's why you visited him every now, but you... Had you been there all this time? Even sleeping in an uncomfortable armchair so as not to leave him alone?

“You… But… But why would you do that?” He stuttered in shock and curiosity, he imagined he had some importance to you, he was your superior and trainer besides you being even remotely close, but he didn't imagine you cared about him to that point.

“I…” You sighed and looked away “I was scared… Scared that you would never wake up or die” you bit your lip. “I was afraid that you would die mad at me and I would never know what I did wrong… Scared that I would never be able to fix things between us… And scared that I would never be able to tell you how I feel about you” you finished looking at him with a smile sad.

“You didn't do anything wrong, I was an idiot and took my frustration out on you when… Huh, wait? What did you say?" He stopped talking when he finally absorbed the last part of your sentence. “What do you mean by ‘how you feel about me’?” He looked at you confused and Smoker's heart was beating so fast that maybe he was going to go into a coma again or simply have a heart attack.

“Smoker-san… For someone so intelligent in battle you leave something to be desired in other areas” you laughed and placed your hand over his making circles with your finger in an affectionate way “I think everyone realizes that I'm in love with you... Except you.”

“And I think everyone also realized that I'm in love with you... Except you” he said immediately after you.

Soon the two of you were staring at each other with wide eyes and an extremely red face, you two were in love this whole time and never realized it before?!

“What do you mean you were in love with me?! You seemed furious with me days ago!” You said confused but still full of hope.

“I was furious because I heard you saying you were in love with someone else!” He countered.

"Yes! In love with you!" You said defending yourself.

"I did not know that!" He said nervous and embarrassed about the situation.

“I would have known if you had asked me out or just been less accepting when I asked you!” You huffed and crossed your arms, but soon smiled lovingly. “Well… that’s good, now you won’t be able to dismiss me when I invite you to lunch!”

He blushed again and looked down, feeling a smile dominate his face. Soon he sighed and held your hand, finally looking at you.

“A real date.” He said seriously.

“Huh?” You looked at him confused.

“I’m going to take you on a real date. For... Huh... For treating you rudely and taking so long to confess... It's the least I can do after you stay here taking care of me" he finally said what was weighing on his heart, now he had not only apologized for the confusion , but he had also confessed his feelings and asked you out on a date. Finally Smoker had managed to say everything he wanted to you.

“I can’t wait” And when you smiled at him…Ah, he was sure that everything had been immensely worth it.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

#one piece x reader #one piece #one piece x you #one piece imagine #onepiece #anime imagines #imagines #one piece x gn reader #smoker x you #smoker x reader #smoker #one piece smoker #i never writing that much again #fuck my brain is dry #in the end this story is shitty #but i tried #pretend that you like

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fluffshisuga · 1 year

Text

Exams (Xavier x Reader)

Hello again! Finals are here at my university and let me tell you, it sucks. But this is perfect, because a request came in!

Requested by @ilovexavierthrope : Could you pls write one about Xavier x reader and the reader has ADHD maybe if your okay with that and the reader is studying for finals like crazy bc its their first year at nevermore? (Maybe mention that reader has autism). I tried my best, I feel like I had the ADHD part down, especially since I have it, but I’m currently not professionally on the spectrum so I hope I didn’t do too bad! Also, for anyone taking exams, I believe in you! You got this! This is 4225 words omg also it's 234am i love you guys 💙

Warnings: Mentions that reader is fem, some angst, panic over exams. I never really said that the reader is autistic or had adhd but it's heavily implied mainly by my own adhd habits, i had YouTube playing while i wrote this and i was also listening to music.

Like any other school, Nevermore had exams for their classes as well. Of course, they were different from normal exams, which meant that the students had to study harder than the average teen. Although most students were already used to the hard studying, newcomers were prone to having a far more difficult time trying to fit studying into their already busy schedules. Especially you, who had only just started your first year at Nevermore. Classes were already pretty difficult for an ever-racing mind, but trying to cram a bunch of information in to a brain that can’t even remember what it had for breakfast? Torture.

Your routine was based off the clock, classes from 9am to near 5pm, giving you barely enough time to eat during the day, which resulted in you just completely forgetting that you needed food. Once that was over, you would beeline to the library to collect any books you could that had information on the classes you were taking. You had no idea what you were doing, never having a set study habit, and just trying whatever came to mind, you had flashcards and paper filled with copied notes, some colour coded in hopes that it would make it easier to remember. You even had a whole playlist that you listened to while studying, yet, for whatever reason, the words wouldn’t stick. You’d have to read over what you had already read multiple times, only to space out halfway through and come back confused. You’d constantly look up from your books and check the time, frowning when you noticed it had only been 5 minutes since you last checked, although it felt like it had been way longer. You would constantly change the song as well, deeming certain ones to be unhelpful in your studies even if you added them to the playlist specifically for that reason.

You only really had contact with friends in class, who would ask you if you were free later that day to hang out. Enid especially asked you almost every day, frowning each time you told her you needed to study for the exams coming up. Wednesday even started to show concern, pointing out the dark circles forming under your eyes, and the growl of your stomach at the mention of lunch. “I think you should take a break, really.” Enid said, taking the book out of your hand and closing it. You desperately tried to write down what page you were on, but it had already left your mind. “Enid! Now I must read the whole thing again to find out what page I was on.” You scowled. Enid only shook her head and gathered your things up as the class was dismissed. “You’re coming to lunch with us, whether you like it or not! I can even quiz you while we eat if that would make you feel better?” You could only sigh as you left your seat, trudging after Enid and Wednesday.

You sat down at a table, looking down at the food you had grabbed with heavy eyes. A slam next to you nearly made you jump out of your skin. “Pop quiz!” Enid exclaimed, holding one of your books in her hand. “Let’s see…ah! Who was the last God to enter Olympus?” You stared blankly at Enid, not comprehending what she had even said yet. You tried to think, racking your brain as you did, but nothing came up. There was only one name that came up when you thought of the question. “Alexius?” Was all you could come up with, and you knew it was the wrong answer as soon as you said it, watching Enid’s smile droop slightly at the answer. “Uh, no not quite. It says here that it was Dionysus. I’m not sure if I’m saying that right but yeah, not Alexius.” Enid stated, placing the book down in front of you and pointing out the answer. You facepalmed as the answer came into your head just seconds before she said the name, becoming mildly discouraged already.

“Dionysus was the last God, but only because Homer didn’t admit him in.” A voice spoke behind you, and you felt the seat next to you shift as someone sat down beside you. Looking over, you lock eyes with Xavier, whom you shared the class with. He smiled as he continued, “Although that was a good guess, but his name is pronounced Alcaeus, it’s not really spelled the same way. That was the original name of Heracles, also not pronounced the same way as the Disney movie. It means Strength, and many leaders in Greece were named Alcaeus for that reason.” You dropped your head in defeat and embarrassment, feeling inferior to Xavier’s random knowledge on the Greek Gods. “That wasn’t even part of the class though, where did you get that name from?” He asked, placing his hand on his cheek as he looked at you. “I’m going to be honest,” you started, “no idea. I thought that if I read the whole book, I’d be ready for the exam, but I don’t even remember reading about Alcaeus.” A moment of silence fell onto the table, only to be interrupted by a gasp from you. “That’s right! That name was in a game I played! It was all about Greek Mythology. Alcaeus was the brother that we thought was dead. That’s where I got the name from.” The sudden memory made you excited, but your cheeks flushed red as you realized that your outburst was all because of a game, and that your answer to Enid’s question was all based off said game. “Anyway, clearly I need to study more, so I should be going.” You started, taking a large bite of food, and gathering your items once again. “Y/n! At least finish eating?” Enid yelled, watching as you trotted away, a book opened in your hands.

Later that day, you sat under a tree, a different book in hand and pencil in the other, hurriedly writing anything that you felt was important for your French class. You had a list of words that would be considered feminine in French, placing certain words into the column and others in the other. “So, If I wanted to preserve something…it would be…sanctuariser. Do I even need to know that?” You spoke to yourself, looking back to the little piece of paper with a list of things the teacher said to study. “Absolutely not.” You groaned as you dropped your arms, playing with the grass and taking a few breaths. “Need any help?” A voice spoke, spooking you and causing you to hit your head on the trunk of the tree. Xavier hovered over you, a concerned look on his face as he watched you rub the back of your head. “Xavier, you scared the living daylights out of me!” You breathed, checking your hand to see if you were bleeding. “Sorry,” he chuckled, taking a seat next to you. He looked over your shoulder and read what you had written down, taking your pencil, and correcting minor mistakes like accents over e’s and the like. “I can help you, if you want?” He asked, watching as you looked down at the grass. You didn’t want to ask for help. Asking for help was like admitting defeat, and defeat would make people disappointed in you. Your mind raced at the idea that people would see you as a failure, and you desperately grabbed the grass to keep yourself grounded. “Uh, not now. Thank you, Xavier, though.” You said, taking the pencil back and writing more terms in French. Xavier kept his seat next to you, watching as you tried to study a new way, a way that you were taught when you were small. It was mainly a way to make sure you remembered how to spell words but writing the French words three times seemed like it would help you to remember them. It worked, slightly.

As the time passed, the sun began to set. The breeze, although it was welcomed, was also distracting, and getting colder. You shivered as you flipped through the pages of yet another book, drifting your eyes over to Xavier every now and then to see if he was still there. He had been looking over your shoulder the whole time, asking if he could help every now and then. Sometimes he would help whether you liked it or not and would write little notes on the side of certain words in hopes that it would help you remember them better. Eventually he stood up and extended his hand out to you. “Come on, lets go inside before it gets too cold.” He offered. You stared at his hand for a moment, gathering up your things and taking it. “I still haven’t found the answer to a lot of the review questions, though, so once I get inside, I need to go to the library and find a book that has the answers.” You started, walking beside Xavier towards the giant doors. “I’m sure you can find the answers tomorrow, the exams aren’t until next week.” Xavier said, opening the door for you. You sighed as the warm air hit you, closing your eyes and giving you a brief wave of fatigue. You opened your eyes, looking up at Xavier, “I know that, but I just need to make sure I know the material.” Xavier could only scoff and shake his head as you checked your phone. “I have to go; I need to get those books!” You shouted, sending a final wave to Xavier as you sped away.

The next day was a Saturday. There were no classes, giving students extra time to catch up on both sleep and their studies. This also meant that you were up at sunrise, quickly making your way to the library. Your mind raced as you thought of what you needed to study next, while also trying to remember what you had studied the previous day. This early in the morning, there weren’t many people in the library, giving you first pick at what you needed for studying. With your arms full, you tucked yourself into a corner and set up your study space.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xavier woke up around 10am, a time he deemed normal for the weekend. He turned in his bed and glanced at the empty bed on the other side of the room, once occupied by Rowan. He would always comment on Xavier’s sleeping habits and tell him about getting enough sleep, claiming that it would help him remember more from his classes. He groaned at the thought of Rowan not being there, and slowly got up. He took a quick shower and made his way down to grab something to eat. He took a seat next to a tired Enid and emotionless Wednesday, Enid picking at her food as she looked around the room. “Xavier, you’re later than normal.” Wednesday pointed out, glancing over at him. Xavier could only shrug and take a bite of his food, watching as Enid’s head whipped around every few moments. He raised an eyebrow, “what are you looking for, Enid?” He questioned, fork midway to his mouth. Enid’s nails shot out and quickly retracted, and she took a final glance around before she set her eyes on Xavier. “Y/n, they aren’t here yet.” She said, tapping her fingers as she took another bite. “She’s normally here by now,” she mumbled, placing a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t spit any food out. Xavier looked around, scanning the room quickly before shrugging. “Maybe she’s sleeping in? She’s been studying a lot; she’s got to be exhausted.” He explained, taking a final bite of his food. Enid shook her head and frowned. “She never misses our breakfast routine, you know that.” Xavier raised his hands, nodding his head. “I understand. Listen, I’ll keep an eye out for her, how about that? If I see her, I’ll let you know and tell her you’re worried.” Enid’s face relaxed a bit and her shoulders dropped slightly, nodding.

With that, Xavier went about his Saturday routine. Archery practice, a trip to the library, lunch. The whole time, he kept his eyes open for you. He didn’t see you in the library, which only told him that you were probably still sleeping. Once 3pm came around and you didn’t show up for lunch, he went out in search of you. He looked by the tree he had found you the previous day, a pencil in your spot. Xavier figured that you left it by accident and picked it up, planning to hand it back to you next time he saw you. He ran into Ajax and asked him if he had seen you, “last I saw Y/n, they were in the library, in the normal corner. They were there when I showed up, but that was a bit ago.” Ajax recounted, and he walked back with Xavier to the library to show him where you had been sitting, only to find the corner empty save for a book. Xavier sighed as he picked it up, placing it in his bag along with the growing list of items he needed to return to you. You weren’t at dinner either, and now Enid wasn’t the only one worried about your whereabouts. Xavier even went to your dorm, knocking on the door and talking with your roommate. “Honestly? Haven’t seen them for a bit. They weren’t in bed when I got up this morning. Come to think of it, they weren’t in bed when I went to sleep either.” They said, shrugging. Xavier sighed and ran a hand through his hair, stress building up as the time went by. He had no idea where you would be hiding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were on the ground, laptop in front of you and books scattered around you. Your phone played your studying playlist as you waved your hand along the ground in search of the pen you had just put down. Your laptop had multiple tabs open, YouTube in one, a few word documents, an “official page of Greek Mythology” opened in yet another tab. So many things happening at once, yet you couldn’t focus on any of them. Normally, having multiple stimuli helped you get assignments done, but for something so nerve wracking and important as exams, nothing seemed to do the trick. You felt yourself breakdown slowly as you stared at the blank page, unable for the life of you to come up with the answer to “Who visited Danae, and fathered her son?” Your mind told you that it was simple, the answer on the tip of your tongue, yet nothing. You start to shake your head, muttering curses to yourself for not remembering something so simple as a name. You switched through songs on your phone, hoping that a song would pop up that would spark the answer. You didn’t hear the snapping outside the room, or the rumbling of the statue revealing a staircase. You were too preoccupied, trying desperately to hold your tears back so you wouldn’t smudge the ink on your paper.

Xavier walked down the stairs, stopping mid step to find you in the center of the room, rocking and holding back sniffles as you shuffled through paper. He called out your name, hoping to catch your attention, but he quickly realized that you had your earbuds in, unable to hear a single word he could utter. He stepped carefully, making his way slowly towards you so you didn’t get spooked. He watched as the tears welled up even more in your eyes as you slowly looked up, realizing that you were no longer alone. Realizing that you were in a vulnerable state, Xavier sat next to you, wrapping an arm around your shaking figure, and rubbing your back, letting you collect your thoughts. You shuddered as you tried to hold back your tears, but Xavier’s calming voice seemed to finally break the dam. “I know you’re stressed. You can tell me about it when you’re ready.”

Tears spilled from your eyes and ran down your cheeks. You struggled to get anything out that weren’t incoherent sobs, a stutter of words falling from your lips as you struggled to explain. “I just? You know? It’s my first year here,” another sob, “and I don’t want to seem like a failure. I want them to know that I can handle it! I can! But my mind is just racing? Everything is distracting me, but if I don’t have anything to distract me, I get super anxious and cant focus. But I hate it so much.” You breathed heavily as you tried to find a way to explain your thoughts. “I just…I don’t want to be a disappointment. I want to get good marks on these exams, so no one looks down on me, and yet I just can’t understand what I’m looking at. But the idea of asking for help feels so demeaning! It feels like I’m admitting to failure, and if I do that, then I’m a lost cause.” You continued to sob as you turned to bury your face into Xavier’s chest, the harsh reality becoming real as you spoke, causing you to break down even more. Xavier remained quiet as he kept rubbing your back, humming a soft tune to calm you down. He allowed you to get all your emotions out and calm down on your own, only whispering every now and then soft words of comfort until you had cried enough. You slacked in his embrace, taking deep breaths as your tears began to dry.

Xavier brought your face up so he could meet your eyes. He took note at how red they were, how puffy your skin had become, and how dark the circles under your eyes had become. He sighed as he studied your face, trying to find the right words to say. “You’re not a failure, I can see that. And you’re not a failure for accepting help when you need it. Exams are stressful, trust me, but you don’t have to deal with he stress of them alone, you know. You have me, and Enid, and Wednesday would probably help you if you asked.” He wiped tears away as he continued, “No one will think you’re a failure. They wont see you as a disappointment either. No one is perfect, hell, I failed an exam my first year all because I was too stressed to even understand what it was I was learning. Am I a disappointment?” You shook your head in response, a small smile on your lips. “No, maybe a bit of a dork, but not a disappointment.” You responded. Xavier smiled and rested his forehead against yours. “Exactly. Everyone fails at least once. I think it builds character. But you’re not going to fail. Not if I can help it.” He pressed a kiss to you temple as he grabbed one of your books, “Now, Danae was visited by a God and was then pregnant. Remember that her son is the one that’s supposed to take down the king, her father. Which God seems like the kind of person to knock a girl up knowing that the prophecy states a war to follow?” You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking hard. “A God that would do something like that? It sounds like a Zeus thing?” You questioned, brows furrowed. Xavier smiled and nodded, pointing out an excerpt from the book. So Danae endured, the beautiful, to change the glad daylight for brass-bound walls, and in that chamber secret as the grave She lived a prisoner. Yet to her came Zeus in the golden rain. This was the story of Perseus.

Xavier stayed by your side as you studied together, helping each other to remember the content. As the night dragged on, your eyes became heavy, and you yawned. “I think it’s time to wrap it up for tonight, don’t you think?” Xavier asked as he closed the book he was reading from. You nodded slowly, stretching your arms, and sighing as your back popped and cracked as you moved the stiff muscles. “Can we do this again tomorrow, then?” You asked, gathering your items up. Xavier smiled and nodded, “Of course, but only after you get some rest and something to eat tomorrow.” You chuckled and made your way up the stairs, walking with Xavier back up to your dorm. The next morning, you woke around 10:30, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You looked over at your phone, finding a text from Xavier that read, “Once you wake up, let me know, I’ll meet you for breakfast.” You smiled as you sat up in bed, stretching your tired muscles and letting out a yawn. You grabbed something to wear and picked up your bag full of study material, shooting a text to Xavier and making your way to the dining hall.

He met you there and walked with you to grab your food, sitting down at your normal table and eating silently for a few moments. Enid and Wednesday followed shortly after, Enid hurrying to your side and expressing her worries for your well-being, and scolding Xavier for not telling her that you were ok. You chuckled at her and thanked her for worrying about you, continuing to take bites of your food as the two girls went off to get their own food. “So, I was thinking,” Xavier started, holding his fork in the air, and pointing it towards you. “That’s never good,” you quickly said, stifling a giggle. Xavier frowned, continuing, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Anyway, exams begin in three days, so why don’t we study together until they’re over? We meet in the secret room, I bring snacks and water, we ace those exams?” You sat there, chewing on your food as you thought about his offer. He was a great help when it came to studying, and your little session last night helped you to understand a bit of what you were doing. “Sounds like a plan.” You said, taking another bite of your breakfast.

The days following were filled study sessions with Xavier, and once one exam was done you studied for the next exam. Feeling confident, you walked into each class ready to take the exam, meeting Xavier afterwards to tell him about it and how you felt afterwards. You’d then get dinner, study for the next exam, and just hang out between studying to give your minds a break. It felt as if the exams went by with a snap, and before you knew it, they were over. You had two days until the grades would come out, and although you were happy for it to finally be over, a part of you was sad that you wouldn’t be meeting Xavier each night to study anymore. It felt as if a cloud hung over your head as you went to bed that night, only growing heavier as your thoughts raced once again. In the morning, you woke up to a text from Xavier, asking you when you wanted to go get breakfast. You smiled as you got up and ready, the cloud above your head slowly shrinking as you went to meet Xavier for breakfast. Afterwards, you walked together into Jericho, finding a coffee shop to refuel your energy that had left your body from the week. “Do you think you passed?” You asked Xavier as you took a sip of your drink, its contents brought you joy and comfort. Xavier took a sip of his own drink, a smile gracing his lips. “Of course, I had the best study partner in all of Nevermore to help me.” You felt your cheeks warm at his comment, drifting your eyes down to you drink in embarrassment. “Yeah… Maybe I did well too, then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When grades came out, you nearly cried. You had passed every single exam, and it was all thanks to Xavier. You had looked everywhere to find him, finding him in his dorm working on a sketch in his sketchbook. When he opened the door, you ran in and wrapped your arms tightly around his torso, a giant smile greeting him. “Xavier! We did it! I passed all the exams!” You shouted happily, jumping in excitement. Xavier hugged you back, planting a kiss to your hair as he reveled in your excitement. Your smile was contagious and seeing you happy made him happy. “That’s amazing!” He exclaimed, his smile widening as he looked at you. “We need to celebrate.” And with that, the two of you went out to a small restaurant, enjoying each other’s company as you talked about anything you could think of. After, you went to get something sweet to eat as you made your way back to the school, making your way to Xavier’s dorm. “Let’s watch a movie!” You said, pulling out your phone and connecting it to the little projector you had left in his room one time. You spent the whole night watching movies, cuddled up together. Eventually, you fell asleep in Xavier’s arms, and he gave you a final kiss on your temple before whispering goodnight, falling asleep himself.

Hi me again. Your comments mean so much to me💙 i woke up to my phone constantly buzzing with feedback on Festive Outings, it made me really happy you have no idea. Again, if you have exams soon, you got this!! 💙💙

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