You know whats better than sex? Falling in love with a fictional character, but not the kind of romantic love, but the kind of love that you just love them because you鈥檙e completely sure they would understand you, that you see yourself in them, the kind of love where you imagine with them late night drive, late night talks, those characters you know you could talk and talk and talk about everything, and they鈥檒l love you for that and you鈥檒l love them. You just know you could relate to each other, and understand each other. Maybe even have similar tastes in music or movies
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czuje sie obrzydliwie, nie potrafie przestac jesc. od kilku dni wpierdalam bez zadnej kontroli i nie potrafie przestac, zamiast wziac sie za siebie to zajadam uczucia i potem zaluje.
nienawidze swojego ciala, swojej twarzy, swojego glosu, swojego charakteru i zachowania. wszystkiego w sobie nienawidze.
chce byc idealny dla siebie, dla niej.
tak bardzo sie boje, ze straci do mnie uczucia, moze gdy schudne to w koncu mnie pokocha? nie bedzie musiala sie mnie wstydzic a gdy bede sie z nia spotykac nie bede musial sluchac komentarzy typu
"ale masz miekkie i duze uda" nienawidze swoich ud. mam ochote odciac z nich sobie caly moj tluszcz. nie liczac mojej twarzy to jest moj najwiekszy kompleks. zabilbym sie juz teraz, ale nie moge umrzec gruby. czemu nie moge byc szczesliwy? jak schudne, to wiekszosc moich problemow sie rozwiaze.
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Okay time for nonsense for the next hour
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There is absolutely no reason to want to be alive right now. No reason to wake up tomorrow and keep struggling to survive another day. There is nothing for me here in this existence and I want to leave. I want to die right now so the relentless suffering can just end already.
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im sick
im sick of never being enough
im sick of always being annoying
im sick of always being too much
im sick of being a burden
im sick of doing everything for everyone but never anything for me
im sick of hurting
im sick of feeling numb
im sick of feeling lie i could just disappear and itd hurt no one
im sick for never being heard
im sick of always being misunderstood
im sick of always being the problem
im sick of always caring too much
im sick of feeling empty
im sick of always pretending that im okay
im sick of acting like nothing bothers me
im sick of always being used
im sick of being like this
im sick of never being put first
im sick of being a nobody
im sick of the pain
im sick
and i dont know what to do
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Fighting for my life rn (sitting sideways on the school bus seat)
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I feel like im regaining my self control
Ive been fasting for 53hrs (its 1am rn cos i just randomly woke up) and im probs not gonna eat until after school or i might have a lollipop at around 12pm idk so that鈥檒l be abt 64 hrs :))))))
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i have been a steve harrington hater from season 1 episode 1. there is nothing appealing about that man. what yall saw in him i will never understand. hes not even that cute. mid at best. get it together.
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Having the worst cramps rn
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