TW bullying mention

It sucks to have a bad night and remember all those times you were bullied when you were a child till the point you no longer wanted to exist...and then, even when you're trying to fight it, you feel like that kid again.

They weren't sorry when you didnt know, remember that.

Tbh i just wanna rot in bed but i dont even have the time for that

I hate this. I just fucking hate this. I feel like no one cares about me or about my writing or my dreams or anything. No one in my family has bothered to ask how anything is going. My patreon is basically a bust. No one is supporting me and all I wanna do is disappear...

I just wanna be a writer...that's all I've ever wanted to do :'( and I'm never gonna fucking achieve it so why the fuck should I keep doing it?! Seriously why? :(

Ne aggódjatok, jobb lesz nektek nélkülem....

ik im in my early 20s and got so much life but wow why am i feeling like SUCH a failure jc

I am having the SHITTIEST afternoon

I feel like I'm so annoying...

like I'm trying to be a good friend, to care of them and ask if something is wrong but they seem like I more annoy them and make them more mad...

I hate this feeling because ik how it feels when you feel like that and you don't have someone to talk to, so I'm trying to just be for them... idk it hurts sometimes...

Just me sketching myself and the one who broke my heart 😥....

depression is the only functioning thing in my body

nervous system not doing good

Crying and bitching does nothing anymore.

Nobodies going to come save me, nobodies going to help me out of here.

Having to exercise patience and endurance while being constantly oppressed by the monster that abused you is almost killing me. I don't know how much more I can take.

'Akuma no ko' SNK ending 7

Here's the deal with this headspace I've been in over the last month or so.

We all know how much I love the Sinclairs, right?

Well, I'm watching HOW right now and Lester's pun got giggled at but it felt like I was hearing someone else laugh because I didn't recognise the sound, I didn't even LOOK at Bo and didn't react at all to him, and Vincent got a small sad smile and now I want to cry. But Jonesy's jump scare did make me laugh. So, there's that.

Still, there are... some red flags here.

*HUGE RANT*

{This is just going to be word vomit and emotional dumping I'm so sorry}

I actually just want to stop existing. Like, I’m NOT doing okay. I’m working, living on my own, driving, (trying to) pursue my photography and music hobby... but the truth is... I don’t really know what I’m doing here... I have no motivation to work....I’m fucking broke as shit right now but I can’t stop myself from spending money...

I was supposed to do a photoshoot with a friend who wanted portraits done today but haven't heard anything from them all day, I had a panic attack while just scoping out the spots for the photoshoot and had to leave the spot and then I kept getting dizzy so I broke down and ate something so now my fast is ruined....

Everything just feels so fucked right now and I don’t see any reason for anything... I’m changing my motivation for my ED relapse from just losing weight for the sake of being skinny to looking as sick as I feel in my head because nobody takes me seriously....

I’m sick of being the friend that everyone pushes aside for friends that are more fun/skinnier/prettier.... I’m not a party girl or an extrovert... so I guess that means I’m not as fun to be around... I don’t do drugs besides weed and occasional nicotine... I’m Demisexual and its so damn hard to date/see people when they don't understand that ace is a spectrum... It’s also really hard to meet girls to date, all I get are creepy men thirsting over the idea of me being their “big titty goth gf”...

At this point, I’m not doing this to be prettier or skinnier, I’m doing this so people will actually see and beleive the pain I’m in, right now I keep getting compliments on losing weight, which does feel wonderful for the ego but I want it to turn into concern about how underweight I am. I think I’ll set a new UGW of something under 100lbs ... I just want this all to stop...