holy shit that might be the coolest play ive ever seen

batfam beach episode?? real not clickbait no glue no borax??

cw: nothing! pure vacation beach fluff (p≧w≦q) also barely proofread,,,

pairing: gn!reader x batfam (NOT ALL AT ONCE.)

characters: dick grayson, jason babygirl todd, cassandra cain, tim drake, damian wayne (all intended to be interpreted as either romantic or platonic unless its damian. ik in some comic runs he's like an adult but hes like permanently 12 in my head and i dont fw that :/)

a/n: im back with a new dc obsession tee hee (soz to everyone who wanted more abt the cod guys or spiderverse im comicsmaxxing and redhoodpilled) will probably make a part 2 w/ bruce, babs, steph, and duke eventually :3c

Dick Grayson haha dick

oh he loves the beach so much

the sand beneath his feet make him feel nostalgic from when he would practice tumbling with his parents in the circus ring i think there's sand in circus rings right? I dunno someone fact check me on that one

the victim of being buried in the sand, always asks for a mermaid tail but ends up with something like massive sand tits (courtesy of either tim or jason), he laughs it off anyways

somehow gets the worst tan lines. He wore a swim shirt one time and never again because the tan lines looked SO BAD which is a total shame because he tans gorgeously

will beg to do play shoulder wars i have no clue if this is the right name, again fact check me for this thing where you get a piggyback ride from someone and you try to knock someone whos also getting a piggyback ride over in the water

you’re on his shoulders since bro is strong asf and you square up against tim and damian

obviously you lose because hello that's damian wayne we are talking about but at least its fun!!

cass and jason are forever the undefeated champions of shoulder wars though, that goes without saying

Cassandra Cain

shes always seen beach episodes in animes that damian practically dragged her into watching so when she gets to actually go to a beach she is so excited peak sibling bonding is dragging your siblings into your interests

loves building sandcastles and writing things in the sand, watching it get washed away, and then do it all over again

hold her hand and jump over waves together on the shore and she will be the giggliest and happiest human being alive on planet earth

but out of all the beach activities she loves beach volleyball

shes actually scarily good at beach volleyball for someone who has never played volleyball before

dick thought it would be fun to teach her and have a friendly match between him and bruce vs you and cass

yeah bruce and dick were COOKED. huffing and puffing like they have a vendetta against the three little pigs at the end of it while cass is like “this is so fun, lets go again!”

ends the day with a little sunset stroll along the shore i need her so bad you do not understand please bbyg ill treat u soooo well

Jason Todd

beaches are fun on paper for him, in person not so much

PERSONAL HC INCOMING! He gets migraines after the lazarus pit so he can only have so much fun before needing to lie face down with his head covered with a beach towel to make everything less overwhelming or he wears sunglasses the entire time

he brings a book to read at the beach and stays in the shade the entire time yes he is that bitch

usually at home in the comfort of his little library he likes to read things that have an impact on him or just stuff that makes him want to analyze deeper. think books like frankenstein, lord of the flies, all quiet on the western front, just generally heavier stuff

but his vacation books? totally different. usually something super light, maybe a shitty romance book that you find in walmart which are clearly just results of book packaging, or a some booktok recommendation he got for shits and giggles because it just was so laughably bad, maybe even a childhood feel-good book like percy jackson or the little prince (mostly just books he would not grieve over if sand permanently got in between the pages)

he tried reading a colleen hoover book once and honest to God wanted to toss it into the ocean HE WOULD HATE HER BOOKS AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

but out of everything he likes watching you enjoy yourself, his book wasnt that important anyways. show him that funky sand dollar you found or that really cool piece of seaglass, he’s probably gonna bring it home with him. a little keepsake along with the millions of grains of sand that never seem to go away

Tim Drake

Burns so easily

At first its kinda cute, like hes asking you to help him get that spot on his back he just cant seem to reach and its just a little sweet moment between you two as you rub the sunscreen into his sore muscles

But then it happens again. And again. And again to the point when he goes up to you, you automatically reach for the tube of SPF 100+ 

I just know his vitamin d deficiency goes crazy

Leaves the beach looking like a lobster, sunburnt, a crazy bump on his head from getting hit with a volleyball, and some god awful sunglasses tan lines

Overall, beach activities are not really his thing bros job is NAWT beach

Enjoys the boardwalk a lot more than the beach itself, likes the touristy stuff but still goes to the beach because dick loves it and he loves his older brother :(

Damian Wayne

i feel like he wouldn’t care too much for typical beach stuff. like at every beach that has sand and decently clean water you can do most beach activities

one thing that is never 100% consistent at all beaches is what lives on the beaches. this boy will spend hours staring into tidepools 

bruce was lowk concerned because his son did not gaf about normal beach activities that kids do but eventually he reached a point where he was like "i mean at least hes having fun and being safe"

i feel like talia would always show him books of sea creatures when he was little but he never ended up being able to see them in their natural habitat someone take this boy to an aquarium now

tells you fun facts about each creature you come across

will scold you if you take a shell from the beach, definitely says some shit like “how would you feel if someone ran into your house and just took your bed?”  based though, leave shells at the beach yall! taking them is like bad for the ecosystem

brings his notebook around and has little sketches of the sea creatures

even though typical beach activities arent his favourite, he doesnt hate it. he likes that he can catch a break from all the vigilante stuff and spend time with his family as a family and not just as a team

loves scuba diving. idk it just somehow makes sense and i think he would look really stupid in a wet suit

also i feel like he would never mention it but in his mind hes fully thinking "this is just like a beach episode" but he would rather die than say it out loud FUCKING NERDDD

If ur fr about liking HS2 I have to agree w u like. I interpreted it as being totally divorced from canon + I think the base concept is pretty cool. I see the criticism but I also think villain dirk is so cunty and fun.

were like opposites bc i interpreted it as part of canon, and i dont mind if its canon. after all you can ignore whatever you want to lolol. i find some of it distasteful, but i rlly rlly like it and its rlly interesting to me! ultimate forms r super intriguing to me.. n ult dirk ... <3333 n uuughjhd jake. i loathe how dirk treats jake n how jakes life unfolds AND ITS SO INTERESTING IM OBSESSED <\3 ive wanted to draw jake caring n loving his son tavros despite the utter pain and trauma tavros' existence prolly represents for jake but i wasnt sure anyone would care. it rlly is just one of those theres like " augh. awful. i will analyze this forever "

and yes i understand the criticism, i still critique parts of it n i like to read peoples criticism. ppls opinions of hs 2 and the epilogues r always something im interested in

[parasocial bestie] seeing that ask answered and speeding thru 382983 mph reading and the questions and i go >:] cracks knuckles eats em like french fries i read the answers and honestly i have no brains to answer back What than just to handshake back 4 times and it rlly made me happi!!! ALSO QUESTIONS TIME FOR ME TO ANSWER DAMN?

a) i dont think i have like a main?? but like back in 2.7 it literally. got me back to Loving xiao to the extent I Am Now and its my whole personalith for the 848274th time so i took every chance jsut to have him in the team so i can hear his jp voice (i am very biased at his jp voice i can never unhear him and im not regretting it) so like hes now the Main Guy in my exploration teams ever with yelan nahida zhongli peepaw and i think the others speaks a lot too LMAOOOO

b) the ones mentioned alrd part of the lil list of i will die for them forever <33 and those in my past asks too like the chasm crew gets me Thinking of them no matter how i Dont Know them a lot more than theyve shown themselves (or i jsut didnt bother to be chronically obsessed 2 read them I LOVE SHINOBU AS SHE IS BUT DO I WANNA GO TO HER HANGOUTS AGAIN AND PICK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER LINES FOR LORE IDT SO i kiss my love <33) tho ei is that kind of Fav more like that i can understand her flaws even if its unjustified and she can be a bit childish so i just. Look Away sometimes now that wanderer got his own solace and have a new life with nahida whos a way better caretaker/friend (i will Die for their dynamic), i still get a lil irritated of the asian mom memes she gets put in too. the lil hcs of her with xiao is very much the silly self indulgence i like and separates her and the shogun cus i still think she has her twin's influences!! just Bad at social cues (unperceives her first story quest tho. that is not the Bad At Social Cues or Living in general that im looking for they dumbed her down So Bad) ANYWAYS did u know i missed albedo's banner once and i spent a year mourning endlessly worse than xiao until his rerun and got lucky in 40 pulls if xiao is for lumine then albedo is for ME. kazuha my beloved wanderer i would put him in a burrito blanket but will also willingly throw him off the cliff for the fucking snarkiness he has. venti has an entirely special place in my heart like another category like i do for xiao and lumine and zhongli bc hes. idk!! i think hes a very Comfort guy to me that i look so far past his drunkard ehe flirty femboy common perception of him, which is how i got too passionate on that one unpublished too. hes not the Little Guy type of comfort hes the 'he has this indescribable feeling of closeness and comfort and warmth i want to have in someone that i will meet one day', and i could go On and On about the little things ive thought of him while at the same time i dont focus too much to dig his canon lore!! more like, i pick off the important ones for sure and can already see the core parts of who he is and stick there :((( <3 the major thing is that i love seeing him as a love-all typa guy with no preferences as a god of freedom and his vibes are just so. aspec. so aro so ace he Doesnt Care more than he cares for everyone. which is why the ships can Tick Me Off esp the most famous one!! LIKE JEEZ!!! anyway Again the guys i Find Cool and digging thru my brain 2 remember rn; diluc (my lil tall gentleman) kokomi (queen) dehya (i just dont like her exposed midriff design can u feel) jean (her and diluc kaeya as a trio is Such A Dynamic!! i love trios!!) klee (actually id die for her too for being the canon sib to albedo) qiqi (the same for being the Headcanon sib to xiao) alhaitham (asshole. also ive delved into analyzing a Little of his character and i like his sense of neutrality to some things) kaveh (his Fucking Existence being a funny spectacle + i only focus on his briefcase friend Mehrak) THERES PROLLY MORE BUT IM NOT SURE IF I CANT RMB

c) ppl say mondstadt feels very homey and since its the first region we're introduced to i can agree!! and its home to a Lot More Mystery regarding the traveler since its the least explored i still think about the upside down statue a lot. but i cant rlly say if i have a Certain favourite that doesnt tie to my favs than my personal taste (the chasm rlly ingrained a Permanent Influence on me regarding sentimentality of loss) so i cant rlly choose!! liyue's got my boy and his peepaw + chasm, inazuma is the start of Really Great World Quests despite how hard it is to thru the region in general + enkanomiya is so Pretty and such a concept, sumeru has the same reasons and the caves are Irritating before the underground layouts are finally integrated in their official interactive maps. i just like to explore!!

d) idt i have much expectations that doesnt feel Petty like the ongoing issue of hyv prioritizing aether as their poster boy that lumine barely has any official work EVEN as the abyss sibling, 'both twins canon travelers' my ass. i think i would very much like a trading system but i Can understand why that wont work profit-wise for hyv BUT BELIEVE ME NOW NY SOLE REASON FOR IT IS JUST ME NEEDING SWEET FLOWERS FOR MY SWEET DREAM ALMOND TOFU HOARDING. i need sugar so bad. i have 300+ in the making i can never reach 1k. i need another xiao-centric quest cus lantern rite doesnt rlly center him and the chasm was a cultural reset But I Get that chasm occuring once is exactly why ir should stay that way to be Infuential and not repetitve and def not abt xiao being hyv's favourite guy SO HOW ABT BRINGING ALBEDO LORE BACK THIS YEAR. nahida venti 2nd story quest when. i think they should buff the traveler so much they shouldnt be ranked B as any role of a team!!! it's kinda sad theyre fun At first in sumeru then not anymore. i think thats it atm!!

note to self swap to jp voices if you ever get xiao. just looked up the voice and OHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD DO NOT BLAME YOU ONE BIT WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. suddenly i am down bad oh my GOD.

and with yelan nahida and zhongli oh my god i Love that for you so bad that sounds like such a funky little crew..........

CHASM CREW <33333 shinobu especially youre so real for that like ohhhh my god. oh my God. love her so bad. fully understand ei being the fave tbh and also understand the looking away, im so mad at how they handled her story quests and her writing she deserved SO much better but the concept at least is There to think about and build off of and i love that for her... HAVING HER TWIN'S INFLUENCES so fawking good god i LOVE that.

"if xiao is for lumine then albedo is for ME" THIS MADE ME CACKLE I LOVE THAT FOR YOUUUUUUUU albedo is so. my baby my babyyyyyyyy. kazuha is my everything his Snark is also my everything i love him so bad for it hes soooooooo.

and venti !!!!!! venti. on god venti gets done SO dirty SO frequently i fucking LOVE the way you talk about him like. "he has this indescribable feeling of closeness and comfort and warmth i want to have in someone that i will meet one day" HELLO ???????? FUCK YEAH. and the love-all super aroace vibes YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS idk man IF youre gonna make him all flirty. at least make it flirting as a form of banter/teasing/friendship and still super aroace on top of it likeeeee <- says girl who is super aroace and flirts so fucking much with her friends. um. oops. Anyways. DONT BLAME YOU ONE BIT FOR BEING TICKED OFF im gonna think about this forever now im obsessed.. venti aroace KING............ bc yeah no the little guy ehe flirty drunkard is so. mmmmmmmmmmmmm. he's a whole ass character with a whole ass personality and a god on top of it GIVE HIM SOME FUCKING CREDIT GIVE HIM SOME RESPECT CHARACTERIZE HIM BETTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sent the venti bit specifically to one of the besties while writing this and pls know that they were so excited and enthusiastic and think you are so very based like they already ready most of the asks/answers but this especially made them so <333 it made Both Of Us So <333333)

diluc <333 KOKOMIIIIII she just like me fr. like so different in a few ways but So Similar in so many others i have so much love and respect for her... the healing the jellyfish the pastel vibe the being held to impossible standards still doing her very best to live up to them wanting nothing more than a) to not have to deal with people but simultaneously b) to make everyone happy.... DEHYA IS SO GOOD and huge agree on the design like. okay. w/e. thanks mihoyo. JEAN DILUC KAEYA TRIO BEST EVER I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMM jean <3333333333333 klee my best friend klee.... another of the besties is a HUGE klee fan and i love her sm because of it i know so little about her and yet i would do Anything for her ever. qiqi my Everything absolutely feel you there, ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH ARE BOTH. together and separately god they are so fucking stupid i adore them. YOU ARE SO VALID I CAN NEVER REMEMBER FAVES PROPERLY ITS SO DIFFICULT THERE ARE SO MANY AND THEY ARE ALL SO BELVOED

no because ive accepted that hoyo way prefers aether traveler lumine abyss sib but. the way there's just So Much More Aether Content Than Lumine Content. idk man IDK MAN......... fucked up. im coming to terms with it and i almost prefer it just bc it gives me more creative freedom with lumine characterization but also man. MAN. TRADING SYSTEM WOULD BE SO GOOD IN SO MANY WAYS ON GOD id kill for that shit. characters weapons materials mora w/e id LOVE that so bad. let me gather ridiculous amounts of resources for my friends itd be so fun....

would KILLLLLLLLLLLL for another xiao-centric quest holy shit ohhhhh my god. give me my boyRight Now. AND ALBEDO LORE AND SECOND STORY QUESTS FOR NAHIDA AND V ENTI SO FUCKING REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!! BUFFED TRAVELER EVEN MORE REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even if the traveler was like. idk a fawking healer. but a good one. id kill for that if ur gonna make the traveler more support make the mthe Best SUpport Ever Please they are my everything i want them to be the bestest <3 as someone who protjects onto the traveler and loves healer roles i am definitely not biased at all. not even a little bit. smile

why do you have the best thoughts ever i love hearing All of this i am exploding as we speak. on the ground in a million little pieces. blowing away on the wind. landing in the sea. evaporating into thin air. eventually falling down as rain. repeat. sorry my brain is fried again i am about to take my silly little adhd meds crack my knuckles and Get To Work

Texan here, I understand the cowboy boot pain 😫 The things we do for authenticity…

It sounds like an interesting show!! And NO, NEVER hold back for my sake. I love love LOVE hearing people talk about things that make them happy and their hyperfixations, and you’re no exception! Rant to me all you want! I’ll be happy to listen! It’s your blog, go crazy girl!!!!!

-💫

as someone from pennsylvania i had never worn cowboy boots and did not expect to suffer like that 😔 i always refuse to break in shoes before i wear them tho so i paid the price there

also like. idk where to even begin like im showing my friends screencaps from specific scenes and analyzing the framing and scene blocking (my tv professor would be very proud of me) but i dont wanna spoil it for you but just. im such a slowburn friends to lovers WHORE (it plays a big role in my own writing project) and it makes me want to blow up my tv when i see this shit because theyre best friends who are in love and they dont know it!!!!!! they understand each other in ways other people never could!!!!!!! they accept each other with everything they have!!!!!! they are silly and in cahoots but trust each other with the most vulnerable things (like one of them has a kid and trusts the other as if hes his son’s second parent and his kid LOVES buck it makes me violent) like they see every part of each other good and bad and they understand and accept it oh my god

also im actually pretty similar to one of the characters (buck) as in i can be an absolute mess of abandonment and identity issues and i tend to try way too hard way too fast and its caused people to leave me before. like i am him down to the dumb silly blonde of it all. and seeing someone so much like me have a person who doesnt just tolerate them but actively loves and accepts them and its just as obsessed with them as they are with him (in a platonic bro way but not for long idc) makes me want to punch my wall because its just so lovely to see. theyve seen each other at their absolute worst and it hasnt changed a fucking thing and i want to cry about it forever

also with the network change (it used to be on fox but switched to abc) they gave one of the characters a sexuality arc and it seems like they’re going that direction with the other too soon so i am literally running with this idc. its happening and rn im having the time of my life watching it play out see me in the fucking clown car i guess honk honk

another character based question - how do you feel about mikasa? a lot of fans dont like her, im curious about how you feel! - armin anon

Hellooooo Armin Anon. OMG it’s been forever since I had the time to sit down and do a proper meta, and I apologize.

First off, I finished the manga!!! (So, spoilers ahead for anyone else reading this.) I had to lie down after reading 139. It’s a tremendous story and I’m still taking it all in. The set pieces and personal/emotional stakes of everything that happens is just astounding. If it’s one thing Isayama does good, it’s the gut-wrenching personal anguish that underlies the action. I’m absolutely floored. My favorite bit was probably the timey-wimey stuff in Paths and Eren. That blew my freaking mind. But onto Mikasa!!

A Cruel Yet Beautiful World

I remember way back when I started the anime that I started liking Mikasa first out of the group. I liked how sullenly silent and no-nonsense she was, and I liked her loyalty to Eren. Her emotion, especially when Eren died in Trost, was palpable and terrifyingly beautiful. Her grief was incredibly realistic––rushing off with a death wish that even she couldn’t succumb to in the end, because of the drive to fight that she got from Eren. In a world like SNK, her relentlessness breaking through her grief was incredibly moving. And her philosophy is basically the driving theme of SNK: “This is a cruel world, and yet so beautiful.”

This is the same moral message she gives Eren when he can’t find the strength in him to fight Annie––and gives him that warm, understanding, inscrutable smile that allows him to finally accept his own monsters, fight Annie, and save her and Armin. (One of my favorite panels of her from the manga, actually.) Mikasa is basically the first character we meet who embodies this contradictory morality, which grows to engulf SNK and other characters as well (Levi, Reiner, and Armin especially come to mind). Which could be why I was drawn to her at the start, since the complex moral outlook of SNK was the primary reason I fell hard for this story.

(And gosh, it’s tragic to realize that it’s teaching moments like the scene above that made Eren into the person who could influence his own child self to murder, the person who could wipe out so much of humanity, the person who could take Ymir’s challenge to free her by destroying the love of the person who cared the most about him. I’m still processing yo.)

Acker-parallels

I started really analyzing Mikasa when I had to defend her from a friend of mine who accused her of resenting Levi (for beating up Eren) and that’s why she attacked him so violently in the RTS serumbowl. Because of my research into rebutting that, a lot of my affection for Mikasa now comes in seeing the little ways in which she cares and trusts other people, including Armin, Levi, Gabi, and Jean. And her quiet sensibility that goes beyond her love and protectiveness of Eren.

With Levi in particular, I find a lot I like about her. Because you can definitely see her annoyance at him, but she also trusts him more than anyone else in the Corps outside of Armin. After Levi’s violent encounter with Historia, she was the only one who implicitly trusted Levi’s judgement, backing up Armin’s more reasoned logic. She sees beyond her own emotions and even moral feelings and realizes the world is cruel enough that sometimes people have to do dark things to help others and survive.

This is very much the same statement Levi made to the 104th when he had asked them to follow Erwin’s orders when the commander’s plans were questionable on the surface: “Do you trust him? Those dumb enough to say yes… come with me.” These two understand each other on a moral level, and they ask for their comrades’ loyalty without demanding it, because they each know that everyone’s conscience is their own.

There’s a clear parallel between Mikasa and Levi, not only because of their Ackerman heritage and sensibilities (loyal to a fault to their chosen person, impossibly strong, quiet and grim), but their frustration when they cannot protect the people they are responsible for. They both know they are the strongest around, and if they cannot fulfill on that power, a lot of people will die.

There are many moments in which Mikasa puts aside her personal feelings to do her soldierly duty, from leaving Eren to help with the evacuation of Trost to leaving Eren and Armin to fight the Colossal Titan alone in Shigonshina.

And then there’s the fact that Levi’s the one who could break past Mikasa’s headspace and distraction so that she can do the right thing. He understands her strong emotion, he respects it, but he also knows when that has to be put aside for the greater good. But he doesn’t put her down for having those emotions, either.

Strength from Eren, Humanity from Armin

Mikasa’s love and loyalty to Eren challenges her tremendously after the timeskip and her sorrow at Eren’s change is what really stands out to me about her character in the Marley arc. The absolute grief in her eyes when she tells Eren what he’s done is devastating, and it shows just how much goodness and compassion she does have.

And yet she longs to understand Eren, to trust him, to believe there can be something redeeming, and not merely jaded and tired, in what he taught her so many years ago––to fight, to win, to live.

There’s such a difference between these same words said here by Mikasa, so many years later, after so much heartbreak, to the anger and flame that were in them when she first heard them, back when she realized that this was the way of the world. That death and killing happens in the natural world everyday and that’s how you survive. That the world is both cruel and beautiful.

And yet as the years wore on, as Mikasa grew closer to others, found purpose in protecting others, sought a life with Eren… as she wandered further into the forest of life and society and relationships, she lost some of that simple injunction... to live is to fight, to fight is to win. She, like so many of the 104th and the others on this journey, found that it’s not enough to just fight and live and be satisfied. We really want it all to mean something, to have our actions be redemptive. To allow ourselves to believe that we do what we’re doing because we’re not just saving ourselves, but saving others, “saving the world” like Yelena points out (in the forest therapy session pfff). And it’s that drive for something bigger in our actions that grieves her so much with Eren, because as she wants her own actions to be fundamentally good and selfless, she wants his actions to be moral as well.

So while Eren is the person that frustrates Mikasa and motivates her to become stronger and braver than she ever was, Armin is the person who humanizes Mikasa and allows her the space to be gentle and vulnerable. She comforts Armin, confides in him, puts her faith in him, and puts her life in his hands.

She trusts Armin with Eren, and she values Armin’s intellect and compassion, qualities she doesn’t have in nearly as much quantities as he does: “There are only so many lives I can value. And… I decided who those people were six years ago. So... you shouldn’t try to ask for my pity. Because right now, I don’t have time to spare or room in my heart.”

This bit from her confrontation with Ymir and Historia was a defining moment for me with Mikasa. It’s honest and realistic in a way that few of us care to admit about ourselves, and it’s just super chilling and badass coming from her, too. It also shows how much she fights for Armin and Eren both. They are the two people she loves the most in the world, and she never gave up on saving either of them––from death or from themselves.

I’m looking back on Trost now and finding so much irony with the ending to SNK. In Trost, she was the one to give up on Eren, telling Armin that it was hopeless to try to extract Eren’s personality from his Titan form. And yet, like in the end, it’s always been between Armin and Mikasa to try to salvage Eren’s humanity. In Trost, Armin tells Mikasa to leave––to go do what she’s good at (saving lives)––and to entrust Eren to him.

It’s a huge expression of both Mikasa’s trust in Armin, and her belief in Armin’s abilities and friendship for Eren. And in the end, it’s the two of them again debating on if there’s any humanity left in Eren. The bond they share is intimate and deep. With all the military doubting Eren and scheming to take away his Titan (with even Jean and Connie unavailable to them emotionally), it’s only Armin and Mikasa against the world––the only two people who can truly consider Eren’s actions and hold off on judging him. And you can feel their love for him even as they doubt him.

And like back then, it has always been Armin who understands Eren most, the one who recognizes his own evil and Eren’s and finds a redemption in having others stop you, because you cannot stop yourself.

And that’s the thing I really take away from SNK and from Mikasa’s journey, that we all have devils inside us, and yet there is still beauty to be found, within us and in the world––from the natural wonders that Armin dreams of, to the comfort of purpose and companionship that Mikasa has in Eren. Love and wonder is what redeems us of our devils. And yet love itself is complicated, and can turn ugly in its obsession. That giving up that love is what makes the love selfless and beautiful, what absolves us of the selfishness within us. That’s what Mikasa learned. And in the end, she was able to release that love for the good of the world.

So I guess to sum up, I really love Mikasa. I can see why her dogged loyalty to Eren might annoy some fans, but I think there’s a lot more to her than simply that, and in fact, her journey and growth is heart-rending and one of the most symbolic arcs of SNK and fundamental to its entire theme. She’s a badass with a lot of emotion and depth behind her cold mask.

June 26 2017

Its almost 4am and there are so many things left unsaid that I wish you knew. So many "if", "what could've been" and "what should've been" But I've reached the point that I need to stop wishing and you need to start listening. So many times have I tried to pick on your mysterious mind, observing you from afar and watching your life pass on a daily basis. It grew from a simple admiration to obsessing and over analyzing ever word you utter, trying to find meaning to your every action. I watched you, observed and loved you from a distance like a little kid watching her favorite movie wishing that I was part of your world too. But like anything else, I need to stop wishing. The cycle of insecurities, threatening oppositions and false assumptions caused by my indecisive, dark mind has weathered us along with time. The distance has never felt more farther than its actual physicality. Our weary minds has taken toll on both the happiness that we once enjoyed, slowly losing hope on the possibility that we'll see each other again.

You never talked much; as much I tried to provoke you. Like the moon, you kept yourself distant; stern and aloof with one side of you hidden. I guess that's why I was so attracted to you; I saw an older shadow of myself. But like anything else, I eluded myself into thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I took myself to take the risk of finally letting my guard down and stop denying what I felt for you, i'd get you to do the same too. But I didn't. It was a failed attempt that I shouldn't have taken. Now find myself caught in the illusions of my expectations: concealing the real nature of reality. I was never fond of words nor actions. (You should've noticed that whenever I'm aloof with you sometimes.) Beneath the flirtatious jokes was a part of me that wanted you. You believed that actions speak louder than words; but you have to understand that I won't believe your words nor your actions until both can work simultaneously because words can be misinterpreted and are be full of lies as well as actions can be faked. Blame it on my history if you can; it's the only explanation I can provide for this defense mechanism that has served as my second skin. In the long run, never have I heard the things that I wish I would hear you say. It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for putting the blame on you for my expectations and the the fact that I don't trust my instincts. Nothing haunts me more at night than not knowing or believing if you love me; because a part of me feel like you do.

I don't blame you if you want to leave; but you need to understand that it's hurting me bad. Every wound feels fresh even though I said I've developed a thick skin to pain. If only you knew how much I try to look for reasons to come back; if only you know how much I'm beating myself EVERY.FUCKING.DAY for failing you. If only you knew how much I try to fight my thoughts of knowing this can never work. The only thing making me hold on is because I believe. I believe in us. But my pathetic self isn't worth the fight. I'm a nobody with nothing to offer you but a crazy little mind that causes havoc out of the blue and a pure heart. I never meant to do you wrong; or hurt you. I don't think I'm ever capable of doing so no matter how much It hurts. My intentions are genuine and far from what this bad world has caused you. I see myself in you; who thinks that with every healed wound comes a thicker skin and a reminder of what was once a source of pain. But in reality, a scar is a scar; a reminder and a mark from the past. In reality, it's very rare that we get bruised on the same spot twice. Point taken: don't be afraid of getting hurt. You cant wear an armor forever. The bruise may be the same but how you got it and from where is different. It always is.

I learned this from you. From the time we first knew each other, little did you know I admired you for this. You were my favorite peculiar thing to observe, carefully taking mental notes of your visions of reality. You added the reality to the dream I clouded myself in. You were my personal black hole as well as my moon. As much as I tried to let go, you always pulled me back with that little hope in me that you're different from the rest. That got me expecting; Expecting that one day you realize that you need me too and see you coming for me rather than waiting.

I know that this idea will never happen. I know that the only day I'll see you again will depend on me... But that's not even the case anymore.

That's the thing that hurts me the most; my very own kryptonite. I'm incapable of dependency. I hate the fact that I cant change this to make us any better; i hate the fact that you'll never go through the lengths of what I'm willing to do if I can. Compromise and sacrifices are not part of our little dictionary, but it's something we beed to accept and do to make things function.

Don't think I'm not putting enough effort. All my effort has been placed and right now I'm just waiting for the chips to fall where they may. Time is unforgiving and stern. Time has always been a unbending contradiction. I'm done trying to mend things, i'm done trying to shake things up. The chips are on your hands now.

I don't want you to expect as much as I'm expecting from you. As much as I'd love beat the crap out of you right now for being a bitch: i still don't want to hurt you as much and you're hurting me. Just to make you feel the pain of how it hurts to expect that someday maybe you'll turn out of the blue, uninvited. Do you know how much it hurts waking up to empty mornings wishing you were here? or spacing out of nowhere in the middle of daydreaming a bunch of "what ifs".. and How it hurts knowing that someone else wants you and once had you. Knowing that this person is out there to give you want I cant. I can never turn my back against you like the others did. I wouldn't be me if it wasn't for you. As scary as it sounds, you've left your mark by shaping a part of me to see things from a different perspective of how i used to see the world. You calmed me down but at the same time caused a chaos to the things i try to keep in order: my mind and feelings.

there's an intangible string of what ifs, what could've been and should've been at this point and neither of us wanted to face the mess. What ifs, what should've beens and what could've been fuzzed by "why nots'" "what should be" and "what could be."

I still believe in that, but do you?

I'm sorry if I sound delusional at this point. I warned you I'm a bit mental with psychotic tendencies. It's about time you understand what I really feel. If only i can make you feel what I feel to make you understand. If only you can let me in as much as I let you in even though you're more of locked diary and I'm more of an open book. I want to make you understand that even your slightest actions affect me. Maybe I don't know what Im saying; nothing is crystal clear at this point but the fact that I'm hurting. It's all pain I see and feel at this point. No song or any other piece of craft can interpret this.

I dont want to be the one choking you

If you want to leave; just go.

I'm not going to stop you.

I cant keep being selfish.

If only we can go back to the place where we began; a fresh new start. Not as strangers but at the point when we were still happy.

I need to learn how to stop expecting and as always, i'm learning it from you.

But don't shut me out. Don't burn our bridge.

Thanks for everything.

You know I love you.

Look I want to have an open discussion with you. Sorry for doing a callout post I deleted it. I just don’t understand why you hate aang so much.

Its hard to really hate something that isnt in your daily life anymore tbh. Aang "hating" isnt based on watching the series and deciding this is the one character im going to obsessive hate and wish the worst on. That's wierd.

Back in the day i was pretty neutral or positive about Aang. Hes a kid hes nice and fun and hes doing the right thing. My perception of aang didnt really change when i began to ship Zutara. I liked zk but i wanted everyone to be happy (in my case i wanted taang) what really began to tear aangs character and my perception of him was all the Kataang.

I was 14 and someone saying its ok to date a 12 y/o did not fly. Whatever we all have our views. Then season 3 started.

Idk if u can understand what it was like back then. We loved writing meta, loved analyzing it, and loved making manifestos on why Zutara would prevail.

At this point Kataang itself was a decent ship. They teased it in the fortuneteller, again in cave of two lovers. Katara might be a little motherly but its not too out of the norm.

Then came the runaway. All of a sudden Katara is juxtaposed with her motherly traits and pretents to be his mother and then "sensually" dances (i dont think it was sensual but kataangers like to call it that) then day of black sun where he kisses her and she doesn't seem to happy.

This is where aang as a character died for me. After this point aang stopped being a fun boy doing the right thing and became this "hero"

I dont think it was a coincidence that this was the time the creators kept talking a lot about aang to the point it became a running gag that he was a self insert. A lot of atla at this point was about shipping and when the creators self insert crush on the main girl isnt liked. Atla went into overdrive. Scenes were rewritten endings were changed and "i thought you were the avatars girl" and that entire mess with him being mad they couldn't magically make katara fall in love with him (gotta keep the war alive till the ending). Just did not add up to what aang had been established as and where his character arc could go.

And then the grand day comes. The finale. Up until this point the creators had been vague on what ship they were going for. Then well that happened and tbh it was very underwhelming. A kiss scene when the last time they spoke hed abandon them when they needed him the most? And zuko took that lightning bolt to chest for katara? Are you srs?

But you see it couldve ended there. A blemish on a great series we can move on. But no byrke wanted to make sure we knew that there was no going against the creators intent. They took our fanart (didnt ask permission most of it was from popular Zutarian artists) and made that horrible book 4 clip.

Imagine looking up to your heros imagine finding out that they arnt who you thought theyd be. Then imagine at the age where relationships are a big deal that they tell you you are doomed to be in an abusive relationship forever?

I lost a lot of friends that day. I dont blame them. And im not sure if they took it very personally and did something irreversible.

But i cant look at aang and see him as that optimistic child who saves the world. All is see is bryke. And that ego that was so fragile they ruined thier own series just to try and prove a point.

I dont hate aang i hate what he did to me.