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curechocolattymilk · 3 years

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TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

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And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

#tes v #tes v skyrim #last dragonborn #ldb oc #jeerteiperdes #tes #skyrimblogging #oc meme #long post #character meme #finished this just in time for me to start registering for my online courses neato #also its almost 12am so if you notice any misgendering of tei (calling them he) lmk im tired haha

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maariarogers · 3 years

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flash review for episode 14

i KNEW this episode was gonna tear my heart apart but man, i didn’t know it’d be this bad

but lets start from the beginning: i love sua, man. i’ve always loved her in the comics, and madam kang min-ah really delivered her SO WELL

and i know at one point it might even look petty, but personally like, i truly felt sua feeling betrayed when jugyeong didn’t tell her anything — like, yes, jugyeong has a right to tell or not to tell, but the idea of someone withholding information from you when you thought they trusted you does hurt

so i feel like sua’s hurt is valid, and im so SO SOOOO happy she talked it out

im also SO happy when she said the line “sujin was the one who lost us” because in that sort of mindset, i’m more towards jugyeong? in a sense that i still tried to rationalise or justified what she did, especially knowing her circumstances and the fact that she’s like, only 17 or 18

but sua’s right. sujin made the choice all on her own. she was the one who decided not to care for jugyeong or sua any longer. and that’s a strong message to put out there.

SPEAKING OF......... CAN WE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO PARK YOUNA???????????? DUDE..... she killed it

i was so, so, SO thrilled by the way sujin was written in the k-drama you have no idea. its so much more fleshed out, the depths are astronomical, and almost like a reflection of suho in earlier episodes — we can see the fragility of her mental health, and how she isn’t coping well, and how that led her to lash out to everyone around her

but unlike suho, she didn’t learn. or rather, she refused to. she villainies herself, thinking it would hurt less or it wouldn’t matter as much when she caused this amount of damage. and thats so so so good. thats excellent writing. im amazed.

and i love how that also reflected the three other main characters well as well: jugyeong overcame her trauma — she stopped hiding — and sujin allowed it to lead her to a more destructive path — she was the one who ran away; suho is an accumulation of bad parenting, same as sujin, but they reversed their roles with suho warming up to people towards the end of the season, and sujin cutting off one good relationship after another as opposed to when the series started; seojun is a reflection of them inhabiting the same roles of pining over people they can’t have, but seojun chose to respect the relationship, while sujin couldn’t. it’s fucking amazing. just hit me up if u wanna talk about it more

joo hye-min was so, so good. i think she was supposed to be the other friend with sua and jugyeong (i couldn’t remember her name omg) so that was a really good circle of returning back to the webtoon original plot, which seemed to be the main theme right now rip us

i fucking LOVE the insight to how anxious suho actually is when it comes to dating jugyeong, to the point it could be unhealthy. taehoon is absolutely right, and its so NICE that suho has friends now — reliable peers that he trusts — to tell him as it is

we can see that he has these train of thoughts that he knows logically he shouldn’t do as a romantic partner, and u know what he did? he didn’t do it. he didn’t say those thoughts. he approached it differently. HE LEARNS!!!!!!!

and the seojun/suho date night out pls kill me,,,,, its so good,,,

seojun is still a better fighter in my heart because the webtoon says so (im just a webtoon hoe i cannot change this) but its all good cause we RESPECT healthy communication among friends

and we RESPECT seojun saying whatever the fuck he wants to say as long as he knows his points get across like that boy could like, get it

i fucking love that it’s consistent throughout the few minutes we see of jugyeong trying to take her exam and suho trying to fill his time that it’s obvious suho misses her. he expresses this several times, too. and yet when he knew seojun wants to see his girlfriend after WEEKS (presumably) of not properly seeing her? he lets her go. he gives seojun a chance

because as much as seojun respects suho, he respects him back

BITCH,,,, IF THAT AINT THE PINNACLE OF HEALTHY ROMANCE RIVALRY IDK WHAT IS.....

the whole date scene just,,, i died,,,, i knew it was gonna be their last day (due to the clothes) so towards the end i was already crying

and in my head, i kept saying, this is so sad. they’re not gonna see each other again. suho said, “go home.” to jugyeong, as if he’ll be there the next day to walk her to school, but he won’t. we all know he won’t. that will be the last time they see each other. and that ripped me apart.

but u know what jugyeong said? she broke down the moment suho was gone from the view and all she said was, “what happens if [suho’s father] passes away? what will happen to suho?” because all she thought was that she couldn’t be there for him, that suho is alone

and that kills me more. she’s just so kind in loving him, but they were always the star-crossed lovers. they were always meant to separate right there, so no zendaya and zac efron, they cant rewrite the stars

i am a bit pissed off that they decide to follow the webtoon at the end. i feel like, more than anything, it seems as if they’re only throwing that plot for shock value??? idk tho

because i’m not the biggest seojun fan, but even i felt offended that they would do it this late into the series and in return sacrifice what could’ve been a good romantic development for seojun and jugyeong

so now all we’re gonna get are like scrapes of what-could’ve-been

but then again, the series have been good at surprising us so far, so i’m not quite sure what they’re planning ahead

speaking of, idk the fate of suho and jugyeong either???? i dont think its smth to forgive suho for in two episodes so????? @ true beauty writers, whats good????

other notes: i personally dont care about mr. han that much, i much rather see the lim family interacting among themselves as is, but yeah. good for them. welcome, mr. han, into the chaotic mess that is the lim family

overall, it’s... a strong 8/10. suho and jugyeong should’ve kissed more. seojun and sujin as usual, are the lowkey power couple and no im not accepting criticism. idk from where jugyeong suddenly knew how to throw a punch but ok, go home park saemi ure done. i hope selena comes back. pretty sure she’ll save the whole show if our main cast couldn’t. what are y’all thought

#True Beauty #i honestly do not know how to function after that #did jugyeong sent suho all those photos?#did she text him everyday like she did in the webtoon before she gave up?#im hurt

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moltazia · 3 years

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A court of silver flames plot rewrite

Plot doctor. SPOILERS!!!

ok so i really dislike the latest ACOTAR book, it really undercut the illyrians as cool warriors and the achievements of rhys, cas and azriel for reaching the mountain. Really 3 people whos trained for a year is alot better than people whos trained their whole life?? it also really ignored Nestas actuall skillset and seemed to try and make her feyre 2.0. in this feyre is also very much not pregnant. that whole plotline deserves its own book and since they said they wanted to wait i think it can happen 50 years into the future or something rather than the immidiate next book from the one saying they wanted to wait. also no attempted rape tacked on plot or 3 objects everyone just forgot about. if i was to do a rewrite of the plot beats and settings of the book it would go something like this:

we move it so nesta actually moves to the illyrian camp full time for her intervention. with how the human society is structured this fits her better than velaris with the more strict and defined gender roles, we can explore here how in a way she is quite alike to illyrians. cassian is frustrated that she is not on his side when it comes to training women. we see flashbacks of her life and how it was beaten into her by her parents and everyone around her that it was mens job to care for women and it was horrible and unsightly if a woman tried to do anything on her own or push to hard for something with physical force.

she helps with the womens chores but are also confronted with the ones who want more out of life and they ask her why she thinks why shouldnt they be allowed. not all women will suddenly be trained, just the ones who want to. she comes around. she makes friends with the female shop keeper, she really likes the idea of being in control of making and having her own money. flashback to the cottage, her frustration with her father for not fulfillinf the role of provider and leader he was "supposed to" and her not being able to bring herlsef to chop the wood because it will ruin her hands, hands she was told to take care of because it was a sign she was a lady. her admiration for feyre for bringing them food but that first instinct to shun her for not being feminine or adhering to her role is very strong. she doesnt know how to handle it.

life in camp settles into a routine a bit, she sees cassian caring for his people and being a gentle person, she finds this very admirable and thirts a bit. sexism being directed at her, now that shes settled in with the women well the other illyrians have started to regard her as "just another woman" she gets angry and it becomes a bigger spat. she gets some approving comment from the more outspoken women who wants to train. she asks cassian to show her some basic defense moves.

she sees a wing clipping when cassian is gone to inspect some other camt´p and she tries to intervene she cant do anything since shes too weak and illyrians are stone hard super warriors. she makes the bargain with Cassian this time its for protection if another spat happends and so through the bargain she could summon him.

the evil queen attacks the camp with autumn court soldiers. its a disaster and alot of people die. since it was made clear they were soley after nesta she gets blamed for the attack in the high emotions after when people find their loved ones dead. she cant stay in the camp any longer.

cassian and her leaves for the court of nightmares, meeting up with the gang and Eris to discuss whats happened.(before eris arrives it is tense between her and feyre, fyre tries to hug her after hearing what happened and nest cant stand to ahve someone be kind to her after feeling like shes to blame and shrugs her off) it is agreed since nesta is a mostly neutral person to the rest of the courts and the one most trained in court manners she will be the one to go with Eris back to the autumn court to investigate. cassian will come with her as her personal guard. as the queens sister it is not something off about that arrangement. to give a reason for her to visit the autumn court they decide to fake a romance between eris and nesta. same ballroom scene as in the book.

longer flashback of nestas life right before poverty, shes the ultimate mean girl and a social butterfly, switching masks to be different people to different artistocrats with ease. shes admired and she holds high society in her small lace gloved hand. they arrive in the autumn court. she gets a "low" faerie assigned to her as a handmaiden. she has a audience with Beron and his wife.

Eris is a much better mirror for nesta than cassian. he is the same as her in many regards, growing up in a strict role. missing a step in the social dance can mean death (symbolically for nesta growing up, real here). putting on an uncaring mask to not show how intensly you care is a big theme in this part. Eris and Nesta are great at playing "the game" toghether and cassian as her silent bodyguard grows to admire her slyness and how great an actress she is, manipulating the courtiers to giving information and making accurate conclusions from their clothes and manners ("we can pressure X person to do this, their clothes are a season old and they are doing their own hair because its messier in the back where they cant see it in the mirror, this means they cant afford a hand maid anymore. give them a bribe and they will do anythign" etc). she and eris starts growing a friendship of two people who see alot of themselves in eachther.

they are figuring out the evil queen, but some moves from the enemy doesnt make sense, theres a third player in this game they realise (death god lake dude). the trio have become comfortable with each other and are hanging out and putting together their intel and gossip. Nesta becomes friends with her handmaiden. this helps break down her elitist and class barriers in her head a bit. while feyre has her painting it is to messy for nesta when she tried it. but shes always loved clothes (we can see a bit of it in the first book even), she starts putting her own touch on dresses throughout the book and starts designing her own even. we can see how many in the court she has won over to her, cassians and eris´s side by what courtiers copy details from her designs.

she makes her handmaiden some nice outfits. we can also learn what nesta likes about herself here, in the dresses she designs: what does she emphasize, what does she hide? while she probably has a whole range of outfits to make her look anything from innocent to evil queen what does she wear when shes just "nesta"? Feyre once remarked she hated her eyes because they reminded her of her mother and nesta. does nesta feel the same way or does she like her eyes for just the same reason? combat training with cassian continues in secret. some fun wrestling or close combat fighting flirting. she reflects on the fact that while she "let loose" in velaris and slept around she would never sleep with him casually, she knows it would mean somethign and she wouldnt be able to brush it off if she did. he asks her to teach him something aswell or explain some etiquette thing. idk, poin is that they are learning from eachother and admire each others strenghts. she says to him she thinks hes very brave to never masks his feelings but notes it leaves him open to manipulation easily. he asks back if shes then thinks herself a coward for always masking herself. conversation started out nice but turns sour.

Autumn court outing, she and cassian makes up and she opens up to him about her and feyres realtionship. we can also maybe get some more background on why shes so protective of elain here, as someone whos described to be so beautiful and charming i dont buy its because someone was like once mean to her. elain would have been popular in her own right.

she and eris ride together and jokes and such, he makes some halfjoking remark about cassian maybe and she defends him. they talk about family pressures and parental figures who are very imposing and bossy while the other is passive (something they have in common) eris lets down his guard a bit and talks about how he doesnt want to be like that, he doesnt want his future partner to be trapped in the same situation either. she talks about how she never really thought about how married life would be like growing up, everythign was about getting married. the after wasnt something discussed. she thinks about if she would ever want a family, she probably assumed she would have children one day (it was expected) but the only thing she can imagine is a perfect child like she was. she starts being afraid of if she has children she would turn into her mother. she has a quick image of cassian as a dad with a smiling little girl in his arms.

throughout this whole thing nesta is writing letters to the night court, it is expected since shes the high ladys sister and since they are surely read they use it to throw suspicion in the wrong places to beron about what she sees and suspects. but as she writes and recieves back letters and she reflects and improves on who she is, her letters become more heartfelt. doing some work to improve their relationship a bit. in her dresses she starts sewing in hidden pockets. Cassian gifts her a dagger, saying he thinks she will be able to be marginally more dangerous to others than herself by now with it. she makes a special hidden pocket for it and always has it on her.

the trio finds out who in the autumn court is the death gods agent and kidnaps them. azriel comes by to get information through torture but the agent does not break. Nesta goes in and through playing a perfect balance between caring and arrogant she gets the agent to slip up and give them a clue about where they will strike next, what they are after. Azriel is impressed, notes she is a a great interrogator and would make a great spy for him. he also notes to cassian about how shes changed alot since he saw her last. more focused and balanced in herself. Eris notes how she reminds him of Amarantha from the first book before she betrayed everyone and cassian gets mad he would say something like that. back and forth but and eris notes how "a knife is a knife, its about how its wielded." and pointing out that just because a person was an enemy on the battlefield doesnt mean he couldnt admire a skilled warrior. and so likening her to amarantha was a compliment. cassian huffily agrees and sees their, to his mind, more boring socialite nights with a new eye. same revelation as in the original book when nesta read battlefield books and saw how like it was to a court but for cassian instead.

the clue from the death gods agent leads them to trying to go after the mcguffin under the guise of a romantic trip. think a bunch of weapons hidden in a picknic basket. Handmaiden comes along to make it look real. on the perilous trip they all work together and and finally gets it, on the way back to bring the macguffin to meet up with nighcourt gang so amren can study it, they get attacked by the queens cronies again. Eris has the mcguffin and the handmaiden on his horse and rides off, making the smart decision to first and foremost get it out of the enemies reach and try and lure them off cassian and nesta. it doesnt work. the evil queen is overcome by her hatred for nesta and order her soldier after her instead of the mcguffin. nestas had some training but cant hold off soldiers whos trained for centuries and gets taken. she sees cassian being overwhelmed but still trying to get to her. she invokes the bargain of favour they made to force him to abandon her. they share a long look before he is forced by the bargain to fulfill her wish.

Eris and Cassian meets up the NC gang and they are besides themselves. a rescue mission is put toghether. Feyre insists on coming "she came for me, trying to pass the wall". handmaiden stays with azriel and amren.

Nesta wakes up in The evil queens castle. we get some one on one talks with the villain. we get insight into her motivations and why she valued her youth so much. we get to see how Nesta used to also think the most valuable thing about herself was how well she could appeal to others and the power that gave in a society wich was designed to make her powerless. she now finds it a bit sad and reflects on how much she values her new friendships and how cassian would probably still like her even if she wasnt traditionally beautiful anymore. The Villain starts draining her blood bathory style to get her youth back. agents of the deathgod comes and makes her stop before Nesta dies. he has bigger plans for her. Evil Queen looses her shit at not getting to kill her.

we see eris, feyre, and cass making plans for how to get in and rescue Nesta. some heart to heart between feyre and Cas about his feelings for Nesta and how hes holding off on showing her them. He talks about how hes seen alot get thrown at her. he talks about how she havent gotten to choose alot in her life and so in a way he hates the bond because he himself realises that that is yet another thing she havent gottent to choose. feyre wonders if nesta thinks he isnt attracted to her. that she thinks cassian only said what he said in the heat of the moment on the battefield. Cassian is dumbstruck by how anyone could not be attracted to nesta.

Evil queen comes by to taunt nesta in her cell. they exchange barbs and she lies and says she killed "her warrior" to mess with her. Nesta doesnt believe her but still gets anxious. has a twinge of doubt anyones goign to rescue her. elaine has always been with her when things go bad and a part of her thinks they only got rescued because of her since everyone loves elaine and now when its just her will they still come?

shes to be transported somwhere by the evil deathgods cronies and the evil queen is accommpanying them. the rescue trio sees them leaving. their whole plan on infiltration flies out the window and they have to move quick. Feyre uses her shape shifting to look human and makes herself bait. running at the caravan of nestas captors when theyve left the city (a castle usually have a city around it) screaming theres fae attacking from there pointing to the right as eris and cass attack from the completely opposite side. in the chaos nesta gets loose and starts running for the trees evil queen blindly pursue her and tries to kill her. with her arms free she grabbs the hidden dagger from her dress and kills the queen in self defense. the rescue trio finds her and they all go back to Night Court.

the book concludes with her and cassian having a heart to heart about how he was so worried he would loose her again and she admitting how she certainly feels somethign for him but she wants to take it slow. (her being terrified of showing her true raw feelings have yet to be resolved. her admitting this much is a big step forward for her) and they have a super smoldery kiss.

end of book. sets up evil lake dude as big baddie, nesta gets to have her own skillset instead of being yet another warrior and next book can build on the change illyrian culture regarding women plot aswell. and makes the sex have some build up.

this whole thing was of course just my personal opinion, and an impulsive plot and theme re-write. rant over.

#acosf #plotdoctor #spoilers #plot #rework #nesta

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temarisnara · 4 years

Note

Temari, Shikamaru, Neji, Rock Lee

god this is my THIRD ATTEMPT TO DO THIS SO IM DOING IT IN WORDS DOC

temari

favorite thing about them: i've written this 3 times!!!! BUT!!!! i love that at the age of FIFTEEN she'd already got the title cruelest konoichi. like. ilu queen. and she's so confident too, like she knows she could wreck anyone's shit, she goes up against MADARA without ever pausing. and i love that whilee on the battlefield she's cruel, as a civillian she's just...lowkey a bitch. like she's scary and people know to fear her but she doesnt actually...bully anyone besides shikamaru. she's also so ride or die for her brothers and i LOVE it.

least favorite thing about them: whatever that ooc mess was that was used to get her and shikamaru together.

favorite line: idk but when she tells madara "don't understimate me!" GO OFF QUEEN

brOTP: gaara and kankuro, 100%. the sand siblings are so fucking good. i could talk all day about them. in the leaf i think she vibes with ino, though she needs Breaks. she didn't like, Get choji at first but the more she got to know him she's like "oh i get it he's just Genuinely Good" and now he's her favorite. i also like to imagine she and karui bonded over not being from the leaf, and also having ino as their sister in law. that's a unique experience okay.

OTP: shikamaru!!!!!!!

nOTP: i dont really have any?? i just can't ship her with anyone but shikamaru, i think he's it for her. temari was never really one to be concerned over romance or anything, it's not something she cared about, and she kind of expected an arranged marriage so she was more focused on Not doing that. but then shikamaru happened and it was like. oh. she actually wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life with him. huh. gross.

random headcanon: i have a lot of Thoughts about temari as a mother. i think that she never planned on being one, just like how she never planned on falling in love. it wasn't opposition, just. her childhood was fucked up, she had no good parental role models, she was much more interested in being a konoichi. but then she and shikamaru got serious and shikamaru is the head of the nara clan and he needed an heir. she agreed to it, in a few years, but shikadai was an oops ! so anyway, temari hated being pregnant lmao which is why they only had shikadai. but once he was born temari is like "oh. i'll kill and die for this child." like shikadai wasn't Real to her until she held him (vs shikamaru, who's been obsessed with that child since temari first started showing). temari actually tried going back to work when shikadai was a year old but pretty quickly she realized "fuck this". temari likes working, a lot, but she also likes being needed and she just likes her kid! so she oversaw all his training from the time he was old enough. it was hard at first, because she's never babied him, but she knew that the training she recieved was uh, not acceptable, so she struggled with what pace was actually okay for his age. hinata and sakura actually helped a lot here- hinata also had Fucked Up training as a child and sakura trained with tsunade who is Insane so they were able to figure out what worked best for their children. GOD THIS GOT LONG. anyway. i love temari and shikadai thank u.

unpopular opinion: i love shikatema so much but she was done so fucking dirty

song i associate with them: hurricane by the fray

favorite picture of them: she always looks so cool

shikamaru

favorite thing about them: god. i hate this but i genuinely love how smart he is and how fucking lazy he is. like how he kept complaing about his match with temari being moved up and then you realize it's because he was relying on the shadows? bitch. he's so cool. and when he pretended to be asleep rather than deal with whatever the fuck orochimaru was doing ESRTYTJU that's when i knew i loved him. but also, i love his development. like he really just wanted to coast through life, didnt want to get involved in anything, just wanted a plain wife and two boring kids. he had absolutely no aspirations. and he never had a ~change of heart~ for his own sake, he just surrounded himself by people who genuinely inspired him and he wanted to be of use to them. l love him!!!

least favorite thing about them: like the misogyny doesn't bother me THAT much because hashtag it could be worse! but it's not good lmao

favorite line: BITCH! "i'm your god" SIR I LOVE YOU. also his line about how he can't die because naruto doesn't have a smart younger brother to help him, and he's the only one capable of being naruto's advisor.

brOTP: ino and asuma are the only Strictly platonic ones but obviously i LOVE his friendships with choji and naruto

OTP: TEMARIIIIIIIII, also choji and naruto.........i'm soft

nOTP: listen. it's not notp but everytime i remember people ship shikaino i'm like "they're siblings???" like no judgement, i have too many fucking ships fandom calls siblings, but their dynamic is SO sibling like to me lmao. also like...shikamaru loves ino and would do anything for her but he does NOT like her ass. you know he avoids her when he's too tired to deal with her bullshit.

random headcanon: LET'S KEEP TALKING ABOUT SHIKADAI. so when shikamaru's dad dies he has a line about how he wasn't around when shikamaru was growing up, and shikamaru obviously doesn't resent him for that, but he does make a concious choice to Not do that. it'd be too easy to get wrapped up in his job, but he won't let himself. he makes sure to make time for shikadai. they play shogi together, and shikamaru is very involved in his training, and even when he's exhausted from work he'll listen to shikadai talk about his day and never show how tired he is. he loves his kid so much, temari makes fun of him for being soft. also when shikadai was a baby shikamaru was lowkey obsessed with him lmao. temari needed Breaks but shikamaru...never really did. even when he was crying he would just hold and bounce him until he calmeed down (also shikamaru was way better at calming shikadai down than temari lmao)

unpopular opinion: listen. is shikamaru misogynistic? yes. but he doesn't like, hate women or think less of them, he just needed to learn that not every woman is as insane as ino. i've seen too many "naruto as vines" videos where it's like shikamaru is like "oh sorry i fell asleep waiting for you to make me a sandwich" like thats not him!

song i associate with them: uh nicotine by P!ATD

favorite picture of them: my header on twitter i guess idk!

neji

favorite thing about them: oh gosh. i genuinely like that he was a fucking angry child. he had every right to be. the hyuuga system is FUCKED! he projected it onto hinata, which wasn't fair to her, but god. he didn't have an outlet and the chunnin exams was his only opportunity to take his anger out on the main branch. anyway i love that after naruto beat his ass he was like "okay maybe i should stop being a prick" and he just. got better. became friends with his team. healed his relationship with hinata. he became so genuinely good

least favorite thing about them: this motherfucker really had me CRYING over him. rude as fuck.

favorite line: i am way too tired to think about this

brOTP: HINATA!!!!!!! also rock lee.

OTP: tenten!

nOTP: hinata. i hate you freaks.

random headcanon: himawari would've been his favorite. like, he loves boruto, that's his nephew, but he's a mini naruto and that's. exhausting. himawari is perfect in neji's eyes though and tenten makes fun of him for it.

unpopular opinion: its' not unpopular but genuinely it's bullshit he died when hinata's dad was RIGHT THERE. like. i will never not be fucking heated that neji died to protect hinata and her dad was just twiddling his goddamn thumbs as it happened. you useless FUCK. god. anyway i also hate that neji's death he just talked to naruto like his speech to naruto was good but we deserved more neji and hinata talking. i also don't like he died for naruhina to happen lmao we've talked about this, someone in the konoha 11 needed to die for naruto to prove obito wrong, and i dont even mind that it was neji, but his death shouldn't have had anything to do with naruhina.

song i associate with them: i dont have one but uhhh i found a neji playlist so i'm gonna say r.i.p 2 my youth by the neighborhood

favorite picture of them: bruh. idc.

rock lee

favorite thing about them: HE'S SO HARD WORKING AND DETERMINED AND NEVER GIVES UP AND HE'S A GENUINELY GOOD AND KIND HEARTED PERSON GOD ROCK LEE I LOVE YOU

least favorite thing about them: WHERE'S HIS SCREENTIME KISHIMOTO

favorite line: dude he's so weird i have no idea

brOTP: neji and tenten!!! and GAI OF COURSE. AND SAKURA. 10/10.

OTP: GAARA.

nOTP: listen there is GENUINELY nothing wrong with it but i dont vibe with rock lee/tenten.

random headcanon: ok this isn't a real headcanon but i made myself laugh yesterday thinking that orochimaru got bored and cloned rock lee and that's where metal lee came from. anyway real headcanon is he's married to gaara in boruto. thank u.

unpopular opinion: shut up about his and gaara's fight oh my GOD i dont care

song i associate with them: uhhhh idk here have a rock lee tribute

favorite picture of them: what's important is his good heart

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

Text

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness.

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit?

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense?

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL-

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao)

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time!

PREDICTION CORNER:

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’)

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz

#the rambling continues....#lj watches hxh #hxh

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whaleyoufeedmenuggets · 5 years

Note

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something. like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

#ask #this was hella long #but also hella fun

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 5 years

Text

I am not my insecurities reflection- a truthful based oneshot

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ

Ok, this will be a long author’s note but please bare with me as this is very important for you to understand this oneshot. For some context here because I havent posted alot about her yet, this is a oneshot about my Dc oc Gracie Lucio, set kinda in the same universe(i guess) of the teen titans judas contract movie( with Damian as robin) and its a oneshot written partly out of a vent of my own body image issues and partly out of an expression of how I’ve learned to look past said issues slowly.

But this gets very angsty until the end

Now to give a bit more context for the piece itself. The oc herself, Gracie Lucio( because I havent posted any art of her yet) for the reader’s understanding, she is not human, she is a werewolf(it feeds into her story so dont get me started on it alot of research went into this aspect of her character and it plays into her body issues)and body wise looks similar to Dick in the first season of Young Justice. Shes a naturally thin figured , broader shouldered girl who could( if she really wanted to) pass as a feminine boy with short jaw/ barely chin length hair( think of a thick messy longish pixie cut of dark hair). So shes naturally lean and lanky and a little underdeveloped for a 13 year old girl and as a heroine she has toned muscles from years of hero work. Most wouldnt see her having too many insecurities about her body image and appearance, but in truth shes riddled with them. She ages a bit differently than humans, it takes her body longer to develop and even then in some areas it develops differently all together. She struggles to gain any extra weight or build up natural feminine curves, something she wants. She WANTS to look like other girls her age, with more developed and heavier bodies, with curves and more weight and an actual figure. But with a supernaturally high metabolism added on top of a already genetic based thin figure and a intense and sometimes rigorous training and workout routine plus her work as a heroine gives no leeway to gain really any extra weight, its always worked off one way or another. And this causes...comments to be made about why she looks that way by civilians. and though she never shows it publicly she takes many of these, usually not flattering and sometimes cruel and rude, comments to heart(much like I used to unfortunately) and it worsens her negative feelings. This is a small story of her seeing those problems and issues and trying to face and overcome them. This is more centered around Gracie and Dick and Jason and their platonic and sibling like relationship as they help her through her darker times( again, this is partly me expressing my own personal struggles with body image (which arent the exact same as the character but the language and the comments are very similar)and partly how those two helped inspire me to have more confidence in my body no matter what I look like) and also a deeper peek into her complex relationship with Damian(but thats not the biggest focus) Sorry this was so long I mightve info-dumped a little but its important to understand the story. I hope you guys enjoy?

This is also told in Gracie’s point of view

This will cover some pretty deep kinda issues like body image problems and over eating and weight loss/gain and mentions of eating disorders without really discussing them and bullying so if that upsets you in any way now is the best time to scroll past for your own sake, I dont want you to upset yourself over my crappy emotional writing

I do not look that bad.

That’s what I have to force my mind to accept as I look into the mirror, meeting my own aqua green eyes hesitantly.

I always hated looking in the mirror lately, especially after training or after bathing, like now as I stood in the middle of my room in a slightly loose training type sports bra and spandex shorts. I don’t even want to glance down at my body, out of fear for seeing the same thing I always do.

‘She so skinny...is she eating right’

‘She needs to eat more and gain some weight’

‘what a twig for a superhero’

‘how have bad guys not snapped her in half? Jesus Christ I could probably break her with a sneeze!’

‘What a bad influence shes setting for young girls with such an thin figure!’

‘I think He needs to eat more Christ that poor boy must be starving! Why isn’t Nightwing feeding him more’

The flashes of comments flooded my mind the moment my eyes flickered down to the rest of me. To my thin, unfeminine figure. My underdeveloped and flat birdcage of a chest. To my lanky, toned, too flat stomach. The pinched waist figure. The flat empty expanse I called hips that blended too well into my too dainty looking bony legs. I looked too fucking skinny. And maybe they were right...as a hero I was a role model to those younger than me, and I promoted a Bad Body Image for girls to idolize with my lanky boy figure.

And it was a horrible body type I had no goddamn control over.

My species was not an easy one to live as, especially not intermingled with humans. The team knew, the team understood, but the rest of the world didn’t. As a lupinotuum pectinem, or lycanthrope which in easy translation is simply “Werewolf”, my whole body inner workings were different. Most of my kind were naturally lean and thin, like tall healthily thin model athlete body types and in general the females, even alpha females, were practically born twig like almost. And on top of that our bodies developed....differently. I was not raised by a pack or by my own kind after age 8, so even I didn’t know the full extent but females bodies took longer to grow and it made it very hard for them to gain weight because of the unnaturally high metabolism. Add being a superhero who once trained under a certain league member to the mix and you go from being the “healthy and admirable” type of skinny to the “unhealthy and concerning”type of skinny.

I hated it, and I hated my body. I hated pictures of me from the neck down, because they all looked the same no matter who they were with. And I saw the comments everyone made. Whether its a surprise photo Garfield took dragging me into the picture to commemorate something or another or me taking pictures around Gotham or Blüdhaven with Dick on the social media Gar helped me set up, or even the rare photos I’d get to take with Jason or Damian or Tim and get to post. Every time the flood of comments were the same. The same things I now repeated over and over as I looked over my body angrily.

OMG look at that poor girl is she ok??? She looks like she needs to be hospitalized!

Christ almighty BB isn’t it too early to be posing with skeletons?? LOL

Dude not funny that girl must be anorexic or something.

Such a cute sibling couple but sweetie you need a fast food break to add some fat to those bones!

Fuck kid go eat something instead of taking pictures

Awwww you two look real happy! I hope you’re on the way to lunch or something!

Holy shit your guy’s size difference is so vast its almost worrying

how are you even alive with that little weight

Go eat some junk food or something before you pass out

OMG look at her shes so small and stick like! Her clothes look like they’re hanging off a scarecrow!

That girl cannot be healthy tell me someone is making her eat more

Every time its always the same damn thing....

I couldn’t do it anymore. I turned away from the mirror nearly in disgust and went back to changing into more casual clothes, bitterly noting how my clothes did in fact seem to hang awkwardly on my body as if I was too thin for them to fit correctly. Like they always did lately.

Ew look at her she looks so gross all stick-like like that!

What a fucking twig of a girl! Are those her ribs poking through her shirt??

Bitch go eat a fucking hamburger you need some damn food in you.

God that weight cant be healthy you need a doctor!!

“Kid? Yo kid you in there?” My head jerked up from the comments flooded screen of my phone to meet Jason’s eyes, catching the quirk of his eyebrow as he sat across the diner table from me. We were at a diner he favored whenever he came into town to visit, a little family owned treasure with delicious and greasy food and the sweetest staff on earth. We frequented the spot during his visits, our own personal little thing since we’d gotten closer. I plastered on a smile and ignored the slight narrow of those blue eyes, the small furrow of his brow got as I snapped off my phone and set it aside.

“Sorry Jay, BB tagged me in something dorky and I got distracted. So what were you saying?”

He didn’t believe me, and I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t the most convincing at that moment but I kept that damn plastic smile on my face and snagged some of his curly fries right in his face, making him crack a smile and smack my hand away from his tray.

“ Hands off my food, eat your own wolfie.” I rolled my eyes at the stupid nickname I’d been branded and let the plastic smile slowly be replaced by a more genuine one as we began chatting again, grabbing my over sized cheeseburger and finishing every last bite and moving onto the large fries and two milkshakes, hopelessly praying that maybe this time the calories would stick and trying to push away the comments to the back of my mind. I was with Jason and we were having a damn good time, and I wasn’t going to let those comments ruin his visit...not again.

You should be ashamed. All you’re doing is promoting bad eating habits looking like that.

You’re such a bad influence for young girls who idolize you with such a horribly unreachable appearance.

Shes too bony to ever be considered pretty

Does she have a eating disorder or something?

I stiffened instantly startled by a hand on my shoulder, turning off my phone instinctively and making the endless comments disappear into darkness before whoever could see them over my shoulder. The hand was big, calloused, and gentle and I felt myself relax as I looked up behind me with a smile.

“ Hey Dick, did you need something?” He smiled down at me with that big bright smile that made all the dark thoughts and feelings melt away and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, blue eyes meeting aqua green.

“ Well I was wondering if you’re doin’ anything right now or if you’d want to go catch dinner with Kori, Dami, and I. I noticed that you’d skipped your usual early dinner....” I wasn’t surprised he noticed, he normally did...

Once again that smile plastered itself on my face as I told him I’d love to, and to just let me go get changed into something better. I saw his hesitation at the fake smile, practically smelled it on him and prayed he wouldn’t bring it up right now, god please don’t ask now or I might just break...

Maybe god is listening because he didn’t mention it and just told me to meet them by the front doors of the tower in ten.

How are you not dead yet?

Jesus Christ stop promoting your eating disorder like its a good thing!

She looks so sickly is she ok? :(

Yeah shes sick, sick in the damn head for posting such disgusting pro-Ana pictures

How can you post pictures with a clear conscience looking like that?

Some “superhero”

I was wrong, no god was listening to me.

Dinner was rough to get through, even if it didn’t start that way.

For once I didn’t have to worry or dread possibly checking my phone for anything, I turned it off by the time we got to the restaurant. I even got a small compliment from Damian on our way in, though it was more a snark at me not tripping up the stairs. But it was Damian so I snapped right back with a smile, knowing he didn’t really mean it. Sitting beside Dick and across from Damian, I nudged his foot with mine in a silent gesture to cheer up even a little. He huffed through his nose but I saw his body relax and it made me relax. Those moments before the food came, our chatter and soft laughter as we looked over the menu, and the soothing knowledge knowing that Dick pulled me and Damian along to this dinner so we would go out on a date ourselves, ever the best brother and wingman. The mood was light and pleasant and I could see even the ever sharp and moody Dami lighten up a little by the time we ordered. Maybe the mood shifted into something different as we waited for our food and I was sipping on my tall glass of iced cola, when Damian’s fingers casually brushed over the top of my unused hand that laid peacefully on the table. The gesture was subtle and light, quick enough to miss if your senses weren’t sharp. I didn’t acknowledge it and neither did he, a silent understanding that words would just ruin whatever this was. I accepted that happily, as he was much more engaged in the conversations and even smiling a little more during them as he debated with Kori on leading strategies. Things were pleasant, comforting at that table in those few seconds before the decline, Dick smiling and chuckling at his lover and little brother, Said lover and brother having a more upbeat discussion about different leadership styles and their effects, and lightly debating which work better for what. And Damian’s hand next to mine, ever so lightly brushing against it in his wordless way to say I was still there and at even the smallest twitch I’d have his attention again. Dick ruffled my hair and asked how my online courses were coming along, since I didn’t attend schools publicly and I was more than happy to babble about my classes, and my current work in them. It was nice and I was happy, all the horrible feelings from before draining away as I tuned everything else but these three out of my enhanced hearing. Why had I even felt so shitty when I had great people like them in my life?

Then I heard it as that damned supernatural hearing tuned back in to the rest of the world.

The words and whispers and mutters and the blatant gossip and bad mouthing.

“Look at that younger girl sitting at that table dear...shes so thin I think she should be in a hospital not a restaurant.”

“Ewww mom look that girl looks like a skeleton!”

“ Honey shush….”

“Is….is that girl ok?”

“Dude of course she isn’t just look at her shes unhealthy as fuck. Probably has some kind of eating disorder too or something.”

It all flooded over me and all of my happy mood washed away under the wave. I couldn’t tell if the others could hear them so I grit my teeth tried to tune it all back out, trying so hard to focus more on Kori’s explanation of her points. My hands began to curl up subconsciously, making Damian’s attention snap to me. Fuckin I….no, I cant tell him...I shouldn’t. I forced my hand to uncurl and that stupid smile sprawled across my lips as if someone had put tape over them. I saw his eyes narrow and near begged mentally for him to not say anything or for Dick to distract him...anything.

“Ahem….your meal.”

I have never more thankful to a waitress before in my life...until I saw the look she gave me as she placed my admittedly large order of food in front of me, something that was normally a platter for two people’s worth of beef and sides. I caught the judgmental and suspicious look she had glancing between me and my food and I felt shame burn all over, starting to hang my head to avoid that damn look.

“ If this is all our food then your job is done. Don’t you have OTHER tables to be serving?” Damian’s curt and sharp tone cut through the air and briefly through my shame. This waitress knew nothing about me and i certainly owned no one any explanations about my eating habits, so why was she hanging around giving me looks about my food…?

“ Damian don’t be so rude!” Dick cleared his throat and I felt his strong arm wrap protectively around my shoulder as he leaned close to the edge of the table while Kori’andr apologized for Damian’s attitude vaguely. But I could hear it, there wasn’t much life to her apology. It sounded like a politely required apology, almost...defensive?

“ I am so sorry about my little brother Miss. He’s also sorry. But do you need anything else since we seem to be all set here but you’re still hanging around when you must be very busy…?” Dick’s words were sweet and cheerful, but there was an edge to his tone that gave a clear warning. His arm around me tightened a little protectively as he gave one of his signature charming smiles that could light up half the damn city as he then inquired if there was some sort of problem. The waitress stammered that there wasn’t any problem and that it was fine and for us to enjoy our meal before scampering away to continue her work. I felt other patrons eyes most DEFINITELY on us now and I couldn’t help shrinking into the taller man’s side to hide.

“ I’m sorry this keeps happening…” I murmured to him as our respective dates started eating and slowly reviving their conversation, moving on to mission recounts and training while Damian shot a dark look at the other patrons that made them look away. Dick gave my shoulder a squeeze and i moved closer for that familiar warmth and comfort...my chest felt heavy and my appetite had died and I wanted to curl up in my room and die of the shame. But I couldn’t, he wouldn’t have let me. So instead I instinctively sought out the safety Dick’s presence brought me, like a protective older sibling whose arms I could be enveloped in and forget about the harsh world outside them.

He knew without words, catching my body language before anyone else at the table. He knew me best.

“ Do you want to leave? We can get to go boxes and enjoy this meal all the same back at the tower, or even mine and Kori’s apartment. Is that what you’d rather do?” It was tempting, oh god it was so tempting to just say yes and let him lead me away while I re-gathered myself, same way he did when we were both 13 and living under the same roof...before…

I shook my head and forced those thoughts to the very back of my mind. I was in a dark enough place of mind already without that.

“ N-no...you guys set this up...i...i don’t want one nosy waitress to ruin our whole meal. Lets just eat ok D?” He smiled at the nickname and ruffled my hair with a nod, both him and Kori making sure I knew if things got too uncomfortable we could leave and the heaviness eased a little at their consideration. I started picking at my food and slowly regaining my appetite, once again nudging Damian with my foot to start up conversations. I ignored the words for the majority of the dinner, we even began to enjoy ourselves again. The last straw was probably as we were paying and putting leftovers in to go bins. I was admittedly nibbling on food out of my bin, despite starting to feel full.

“ I swear you are a bottomless pit sometimes Gracia.” I rolled my eyes at Damian’s remark and gave him a small smirk as I licked my fingers clean.

“ This bottomless pit can still kick your ass in training wonder boy~” He grunted and I saw the challenge glow in his eyes as he smirked back, an excitement for tomorrow’s combat training flaring up between us.

“ You really shouldn’t mix up your delusional dreams with reality alpha PUP.” I said something snarky back and we began to bicker halfheartedly over who was winning. I finally snapped shut my leftover box and stood with Damian as we stared each other down confidently, Dick chuckling at our competitiveness.

“ Tomorrow morning’s combat training will certainly be interesting with these two all riled up already.” The words didn’t fully process as I cracked my knuckles and squared up to the admittedly….taller boy.

“ Last I checked Damian I was ahead 11-10. And tomorrow, I just cant wait to make it 12.” He gave a hard laugh to my face and faced up to me with a smirk as our other two companions stood and shooed us more in front of the table so they could leave their seats. He opened his mouth to say something likely scalding and snarky back at me when the worst comment pierced between us both like a goddamn bullet.

“ Damn, I never knew such a sickly, too skinny bitch like her could eat like such a fat fucking pig.”

I think I stopped breathing as my body flinched at the following laughter. The man was clearly on the tipsy side and sitting at a larger table with a group of laughing friends, though the one who said it was standing next to the table with a drink that reeked of the cheapest alcohol this restaurant probably sold, and he didn’t stop there. Oh god of course he didn’t stop there. He kept laughing and loudly making obvious comments at me and openly mocking me and how much I ate to his table, either fully aware of what he was doing and that we could clearly see and hear him or too drunk to really care as more insults and name calling that I had heard and seen and read plenty of times before fell from his mouth. My heart was pounding in my ears as the next few moments happened slowly.

I thought I had seen anger plenty of times before, the worse being the one and only time someone made a malicious joke about my appearance to my face when I was walking beside Jason and it took all my supernatural strength to drag him off and away the guy before he murdered him in broad daylight and to keep him walking to wherever we had been heading.

I had seen pissed, but I had never seen downright hellish fury until that moment when I looked at Damian and Dick.

I had seen Damian mad, and angry, and pissed, a few times in our first meetings at me personally. I had seen Dick mad, angry, and pissed off a a fair chunk of times, even if they had never been directly at me. I had never seen this expression on either of them in those times. And in those few moments that passed almost in slow motion and Damian began to lurch forward with murderous intent the thought finally hit me. ‘ Was this...the first time these two had really heard the comments about me? Oh god…’ I felt like I was moving in honey as Damian stalked past me and I tried to reach out to him slowly, a gleam to his eyes that made my blood go cold.

If someone was to ask me in the future what I believed Death looked like, I would say with completely conviction that death would have the exact eyes Damian had in that moment: lethal, merciless, and furious. And he would have Dick’s cold expression, a look I never wanted to see on the normal cheerful man’s face ever again.

Time snapped back to a normal speed like a whip and my hand grasped nothing but air as Damian stormed over to the man.

“D...da--”

“What did you just say you disgusting drunk.” I might’ve shivered at his tone and I felt Kori’s hands on my shoulders tugging me back protectively as she looked down at me worried.

“ Gracie...don’t listen to him, there’s no reason to cry.” Cry? What was she talking ab--

That’s when I felt it, something warm and wet sliding down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. I...I was crying. My walls and my limit of bottling things in for one day was crumbling away as I watched Damian go to confront the man, my voice disappearing under the surge of hurt and anxiety. I couldn’t even say his damn name. I felt frozen and helpless as Dick stalked after Damian, fists clenched.

I had to do something say something anything to stop them before things went badly I had to I had--

“Eh?What the fuck did you say to me brat?”

“ You heard me you worthless piece of filth. Apologize to her, now.”

I needed to do something anything as I felt myself crumbling. Why wasn’t Dick stopping him why

“ And what if I don’t pipsqueak? You gonna hit me? Now scram. Maybe take your little bitch to a hospital for treatment instead of parading her around a restaurant with normal people!”

“ He might not do anything, But I will. Now take it back before things get messy.”I think my body began trembling as I watched panic swelling. I just wanted to leave and go home. I didn’t want to see this unfold, I just wanted to be home at the tower curled under my covers to simulate the warmth of another person holding me. I wanted to be anywhere, anywhere else then stuck in this nightmare.

So I moved without thinking and lunged, aiming for the back of Dick’s jacket to grab and ready to swallow any shards of pride and beg to leave. Instead I collided with Damian’s back and rolled with it, hugging him tightly from behind and tugging back with a whimper.

“ P-please you two...l...lets just leave...please lets just go home please…” Kori grabbed Dick’s arm firmly and tugged him back.

“ Dick...shes in the midst of an anxiety attack, let it go and lets leave. We need to get her out of here.” He took a difficult deep breath but nodded glaring down the man harshly enough that he flinched and scurried to the bar with his tail between his legs mumbling insults. One of his friends started to stand and began nervously apologizing, though one vicious look from the boy I was holding shut him up fast. It took me and Kori working together to drag the two out of the restaurant and the ride home was tense and silent. I couldn’t look at any of them, instead opting to stare at my feet wiping my eyes.

“ Does that happen often. People talking about you like that.” His cold tone made me flinch a little. At this point I was so upset and anxious and emotionally drained on the inside that I thought Damian was mad at me of all people for what happened. Those dark thoughts began to slowly bubble up to the surface and my insecurities screamed that he blamed me for what happened in the restaurant. I remained silent, too upset to answer. I heard his growl of annoyance and I began to hunch up, ready for a verbal fight.

“ Damian drop it for now. Shes in no right place of mind to talk about it.” Dick warned from the driver seat with a low voice that reminded me he was also upset and angry. When we got back to the tower I didn’t wait for anyone to say anything, I just bolted for my room as fast as I could, at a inhuman, unnatural speed that they couldn’t keep pace with.

I stayed locked in my room for three days, not willing to face any of them the next morning during training. Everything was heavy and hurt and it was hard trying to rebuild those shattered walls of protection, that image of unbothered confidence. I stayed in bed locked away from the world and curled up under the weak protection of my sheets mostly unresponsive to those outside it.

The first to come knocking and checking on me was Kori, asking if I was ok and if I needed to talk. She left after a little while of trying for a response unsuccessfully though, saying she’d come back to check on me later. It was maybe an hour later that Garfield came knocking, asking why I’d missed breakfast AND training. His voice was concerned as he asked if everything was ok and if I was even in there. The concern poked painfully into my silence, tempting me to speak and make myself vulnerable.

Vulnerability killed. I knew that first hand. So I forced myself to stay quiet until his knocks and footsteps faded away.

The rest of the day passed in a bit of a self deprecating blur, only marked by Kori’s two other attempts at my door. The last one I barely noticed as exhaustion kicked back in and I drifted off into an unsteady sleep

The next day after I woke up things still went by in a near timeless blur. I could hear my phone buzzing and vibrating and rattling for my attention but I left it there on the nightstand unnoticed and curled further under the sheets, lost in a slate tinted world of dark thoughts and darker temptations. But that day was harder to drift away through.

The first to stop by was Jamie, knocking a few times and calling out to me with concern and worry clear in his voice as he asked if I was ok. He asked if I’d eaten at all since yesterday, since he hadn’t seen me leave my room. The thought of eating made my stomach stir and my body curl around it ashamed. He knocked a few more times after that, his voice growing a bit more worried at the lack of answer. After awhile I heard him walk away and I barely lifted my head as I hugged my too skinny too unhealthy body close, feeling those blaring imperfections and flinching at myself.

It was no wonder everyone said those things...if so many people said them so often then they must be true.

The next to come by was Raven. She only knocked twice and gave a small sigh.

“ Gracie...I know you’re in there. If you need someone to talk to...my room is in the next hall over, and I will be here to listen. I wont force you to come out...just please remember you aren’t alone here. You have the team behind you.” I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed to keep my ensuing whimper silent. The words, soothing and reassuring in context, stabbed into my heart and my resolve. I WANTED to depend on them, to throw open the door and break down under the assurance I could and would not be treated differently after, and be assured and comforted and remind of the positives. I wanted it so badly I was scared of it. Or maybe...I was scared of it NOT happening as those damn fears and insecurities and dark thoughts sowed heavy doubt through me. She lingered a little longer than Jaime, eventually her footsteps disappearing. I remember meekly poking my head from the sheets to stare absently out the half covered windows lost in thought, time slipping by me once more to the point I almost didn’t register Garfield and Kori both stopping by my door again at least twice more worried.

When Dick stopped by as the sun was setting was when the harder pain set in.

I heard the knocks and ignored it in favor of the changing color sky the sunset offered, my room washed in a dim orange and amber gleam. Then I heard his voice, soft and sick with worry from the outside and my heart thudded so hard it hurt. Hard.

“ Gracie...C’mon Gracie-girl please open the door. We’re all worried about you...I’m really worried about you. You haven’t eaten for a day and a half...Please let me in...” I almost broke completely at the pain in that familiar voice, the voice I never wanted to be the cause of being in pain or anguish again.

Well looks like I did a GREAT job of preventing that didn’t I?

He knocked again, asking and pleading and trying to reason, anything to get that door to open. My eyes burned with hot fresh tears and I curled up into a tight ball whimpering softly and breaking my vow of silence.

“....D-dick...p-please...j-just leave me a-alone…I-i just need some t-time alone…”

My voice came out pathetically weak and shaking with tears, which I know he heard. There was a silence for a few moments, perhaps shock that I actually answered this time. I felt warmth sliding down my cheeks as he sighed and reluctantly muttered that he’d come check back on me tomorrow and that there was leftover dinner ready for me to heat up on the kitchen counter before he slowly walked away. His fading footsteps echoing in my ears. Was my heart breaking on every step away? I couldn’t tell. That feeling slipped into the dark thoughts that followed the setting sun. Dark thoughts that also reminded me of the one person who HADN’T come to check on me, and the resulting pain of his absence.

The third day had been mostly quiet. It was almost a painful relief, quiet meant no additional pain of--

“ Gracia.”

That one word coming from Damian’s mouth sent so many things through me and sent any resolve I had spiraling away. His tone was a forced kind of neutral, he sounded as if he was trying to stay calm but it wasn’t exactly working. There was something to his voice I had no energy to figure out. He didn’t knock and there was silence for a few moments but I felt his presence remain.

“ You haven’t eaten since the restaurant.” No questions with him, he didn’t need to ask, always calm and analyzing.

“ ...You cant just stay in there forever Gracia.” A stern lilt to his voice, weakly enforced by the faint sound of his hand on the door. I could only whimper and curl up more. There was another stretch of silence before he sighed and his footsteps continued down the hall.

He was the only one to come check on me, a blessing and a damnation.

The day and night went by so listlessly I didn’t remember falling asleep, only waking up to banging knocks on my door. The volume grated on my sensitive hearing and made me flinch. Who would even be knocking like that…?

“ Oi. Kid. I know you’re still in there. Open the door.” Jason’s hard and no shit taking voice shot through me. Why...Why was Jason in the tower? Why was he in the city?

The knocking continued relentlessly, unlike the others. It even got louder and angrier.

“ Kid I said open this goddamn door.” There was no request or plea in his voice. It was a command, a harsh, cold command. I tried covering my ears with my hands and curling into a tight ball as the knocking continued. He wasn’t about to give up to a little girl.

I knew this too well.

“ Graciea Rosica Lucio I swear to god if you don’t open this goddamn door in the next couple second I will break it down. Now get off your fucking ass and answer me.” I don’t know what it was, but hearing his threat sent my body into mechanical motion, trudging over to the door and reluctantly unlocking it and letting it slide open with a low hiss, the banging finally ceasing. I couldn’t look him in the face, empty and ashamed it took threats to get me to open the door. So I stared dully at his boots and took in his scent as he grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me back inside. I stumbled clumsily along with as he sat me on my bed and stood in front of me. I kept my gaze down towards his knees, the smell of nicotine wisping off his body in a way that told me he very recently had been smoking, no less than an hour ago most likely. Smoke and city is what filled my room. There was only a beat of silence before he spoke.

“ Look at me.” I lifted my head and stared at his chest and his crossed arms, unwilling to look him in the eyes. I couldn’t bare to see what kind of disappointed look he likely had on his face. Perhaps I didn’t want to see my reflection in his eyes, see the sickly, disgusting and bony figured girl with greasy hair and dark circles under dulled eyes and sallow cheeks. I heard the slight growl that rumbled from the back of his throat in warning and I briefly wondered if I would be forced to look him in the eyes. His arms uncrossed and I prepared myself for anything.

Anything except for two big plastic grocery bags filled with fast food bags and orders was dropped onto my lap, the contents still hot. I blinked slowly once, twice, and finally got enough courage in my confusion to look up at his face. When I did I was a little startled.

“ Eat. And you aren’t moving until those bags are polished off understand me?”

He looked visibly angry, eyes narrowed and mouth locked in a fearsome scowl with eyebrows furrowed. But his eyes were soft and worried and it took me a minute to realize worry was what was making his scowl so harsh. He crossed his arms across that broad chest again and I realized he was in his work gear, all the way down to the guns strapped to his thighs. All he lacked at the moment was his helmet and domino mask, his dark hair messier than usual and the white streak falling between his eyes. We had a staring contest and in those pupils I saw myself, I saw the shell I had become and it made me sick, breaking me briefly from the depressive haze.

How the hell had I let myself fall this far, this deep?

We didn’t speak until he grunted, eyes narrowing more in a way even those concerned blues didn’t weaken the glare as he spoke gruffly.

“ You better start eating before I start just shoving it down your damn throat.” I knew he would too. He wasn’t fucking around, I didn’t doubt he’d follow through with any threats made. Slowly I looked down at the pile of food and reached for the first bag, pulling it open and blinking fast as fresh tears stung my eyes.

It was from our favorite diner, and it was my usuals two cheeseburgers and large lightly salted fries with a second order of fat steak fries and fried pork strips. He’d even gotten all the little sides I enjoyed with it and I looked back up at him with a pained look. Maybe that look made him relax because his expression softened slightly, his voice quieting to something gentler.

“ C’mon now...I brought you all your favorites, now start eating...it’s been three days and your body cant handle that. We can talk after.” My shoulders slumped as all the tension stored in my body dissipated a little as he continued to speak, like a tightly pulled strong finally cut loose.

“ Kid I’m not mad at you. No one is. So just eat the food and then we’ll figure shit out, just like we do on any other visit.” I think the tears started falling because his face got blurry and there was warmth in my face. If I did start crying he didn’t say anything, just nodded at the bag. I gulped and slowly but surely pulled out one of the burgers and slowly took a bite, struggling a little to swallow it with a throat that was closing up from emotions. Once I did though my hunger kicked me hard and I began devouring the food, one bag after another.

It took me about a half hour to finish both plastic bags but I did, followed by slamming through at least two water bottles and one thick milkshake that almost made a mess. Jason simply watched over me as I ate from his spot in front of me. The silence was almost soothing, not painful as it had been before. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I looked back up at him and we made eye contact.

“ So are you going to tell me what happened? Really happened?” I broke his gaze to stare towards the floor as the acidic shame began to creep back over me. He sighed.

“ C’mon kid just let it out already. Who am I to judge? So why don’t you trust me like you USED to and tell me?” Those words shot through my heart and head.

I...I wasn’t trusting him...trusting anyone...I…i...

It was like Jason opened a flood gate.

It all came spilling out with a new surge of tears and mid sentence cracking sobs, my body physically heaving from the intensity as it all came out. All the months of insecurities and pain and doubts and fears and comments and negativity and hate and bullying came rushing out like a tidal wave and Jason took to all, listening to everything without a single word as I let everything out and let myself break down completely, wails and sobs replacing words eventually. I felt him shift and kneel in front of me, felt big strong sturdy hands grip my shoulders to steady me and keep me anchored as I buried my face into my hands and gasped out cries and pained wailing yowls that filled the room and spilled out of it. I vaguely remember the sounds of multiple hurried footsteps coming towards the door but I didn’t care. All I felt was Jason’s hands on my shoulders and his steady, continuous heartbeat in my ears as well as he strong breathing. One set of footsteps dared to enter the room and hurry over, only stopped by Jason’s calm voice.

“ Let her get it out, its the only thing that’ll help.” The footsteps stopped and eventually the wails faded into blubbering whimpers and whines and hiccups, constantly sniffling. I lifted my head to look at him through blurred eyes and got one brief sight of Dick standing behind Jason that sent me into a whole new wave of sobs.

God I’ve been nothing but selfish and now I’d fucking hurt Dick again even when I swore I’d never do that again and i--

I let out a high pitched whine that turned into pathetic blubbered and wailed apologies. Over and over like a broken record I couldn’t stop apologizing to them for everything even parts that weren’t my fault in any way I still apologized for it I just couldn’t stop. Jason’s grip on me tightened only slightly before slipping away and for a single moment I was terrified I’d annoyed him with all the apologies and was about to add that to my list of them when two strong arms wrapped around me and and Dick’s scent surrounded me.

“ Shh shh shh shhh….shhh Gracie its ok now shh shh its ok I got you its not your fault…” I sniffled and wailed out more sobs and begs for forgiveness as I clung to him like he was a life preserver. And at that moment he was. He hugged me tighter and practically cradled me into his chest stroking my hair as he murmured reassurances, assuring me I was well forgiven and it wasn’t my fault. Everyone got insecurities especially when facing so much negativity. How I was so strong for fighting it for so long regardless. But it was ok to not always be strong and be able to handle it. That he was there and it was ok now. It took awhile but eventually all my noise quieted down to sniffles and hiccups and the occasional whimper as my trembling and heaving finally eased away into a limp tiredness. I felt exhausted but in a way different than the past couple days. I felt lighter and the more Dick spoke gently the lighter and more relaxed I felt,all the pain easing as he banished every dark thought one by one.

“ You ARE a hero Gracie.”

“ you aren’t a skeleton or a scarecrow or a twig.”

“ You are not too bony.”

“ You’re beautiful.”

“ You aren’t sick and you don’t need any doctors.”

“ You’re ok. The way your body works and retains weight naturally is not your fault.”

“ You’re only thirteen you’re still growing kiddo.”

“ I was scrawny and thin until I was at least sixteen Gracie its not that uncommon.”

“ You do NOT have to hold yourself to stupid human beauty standards.”

“ You’re beautiful to us, that’s all that matters.”

“ You’re ok, you have us.”

Each and every statement cleared my mind and I slumped against him with tears still falling down my cheeks. His hand carefully cupped the back of my neck in a soothing gesture to ease the wolf side of me, adding a very small amount of pressure to ensure the sense of security and safety the movement brought. I whispered out a hoarse thank you, my throat sore and raw but already beginning to heal. He smiled into my hair and I let my eyes slip shut in contentment. I felt...stabilized, as if the whole world had been constantly tilted dangerously under my feet for months and now it had finally been returned to normal, balancing me once again.

I felt a second, no technically third, hand tangle itself into my thick and greasy hair and ruffle it affectionately, fingers tangling themselves in the dark chestnut locks.

“ We’re always here for you kid. Whether you like it or not. You can be honest and confide in your inner circle Gracie. We aren’t going to look at you any differently...so next time don’t keep your mouth shut.” My nerves settled and I leaned into his hand with a loud hiccup, making him snort. I looked up and saw both older men smiling down at me, both with their own kind of soft expressions. I rubbed my eyes and wiped my nose and smiled back shakily, feeling like everything was going to be ok for the first time in a long while.

I learned a few things a few hours later, after I’d fallen asleep in Dicks arms and woke up on the couch out in the Tower’s game room with Garfield and Jaime looking after me. My head was resting on Garfield’s leg and he had his elbow rested on my upper arm comfortably as he and Jaime played some kind of two player video game, keeping their voices lower than usual to be considerate of me sleeping. Opening my eyes was difficult as they felt dry and crusted and stung from crying so much. But my throat was no longer sore. When they saw I was awake they paused the game and and told me they were happy I was up, as I had been out cold for at least a solid couple hours. That was when I learned the first thing : Dick and Kori had informed the team of the incident at the restaurant after the first day I stayed locked up in my room, and Garfield had let it slip in his rage that he thought I had finally stopped getting those comments, and confessed that I’d been getting bullied and harassed about my appearance online for months. What I found out was all those months what I failed to notice was Garfield fighting back on my behalf every chance he got. He defended me, constantly called people out for harassment and even worked on getting some of the worst and most aggressive ones banned. For months he’d been do it as relentlessly as he could, filling his own social medias with both our pictures and his constant defense and positivity towards me to fight it back. It got lost in my own comment section so I stupidly didn’t realize. It warmed my heart knowing he’d kept my back even when I never noticed or mentioned it, though he waved it off and just gave me his big old smile telling me it wasn’t that big a deal,

“ After all, you’d do the same for me in a heartbeat!” And he wasn’t wrong. But I still hugged him tight in thanks anyway, an embrace he happily returned as he warned me next time I lied about being harassed there’d be hell to pay.

I assured him there wasn’t going to be a next time anymore and for the first time in months finally wholeheartedly meant it.

The second thing I learned was Jaime told me during those first two days I was locking myself away Damian had gone back to the restaurant and used Bruce’s name to hunt that guy that had been harassing me down and gotten a few hefty harassment charges and minor endangerment charges slapped onto the guy, throwing in a sob story of how I was now in emergency care in the hospital because of him. I knew he didn’t throw his last name around often, didn’t exactly like having to do so to be taken seriously. The fact he did for me…

I had a lot more feelings for Damian after that knowledge.

The third thing I learned was that the only reason Dick and Kori hadn’t come by to check on me yesterday was was because they spent the entire time hunting for Jason to get his help with getting me out, and when they DID find him he stormed for the tower and made it there before they did somehow, he was that angry.

As they were telling me this and retelling a very tense video call between Nightwing and Batman during the second day Damian came in in his full Robin attire, regarding us stoically. When I saw him I stood and the room quieted as I approached him, the both of us observing each other. When we stood a foot apart I stared into his masked eyes quietly and he looked into my tired eyes. I saw his mouth start to open to speak and my body lurched forward without me, hugging onto him tightly.

“Thank you...you didn’t have to do that for me thank you thank you thank you…” He was quiet and I was about to let go and move away when I felt his arm come around me and grip the back of my shirt, returning the embrace. Neither of us was at a point that we were really physically affectionate by any means but my heart swelled when he hugged me back, leaning his head against my own and allowing me to bask in the warmth of his arms and his scent. When I felt him roll his shoulders I took that as my cue and slowly pulled away, gently pressing a kiss to his cheek as I did before retreating back to give him his space.

I think I saw his cheek flare pink but I’ll never say for sure because that would mean admitting just how red my own cheeks were.

I’d love to say that after that everything ended happily and perfectly and things went great forever and ever. But I cant, life doesn’t work like that.

But things did get better.

I was under heavy supervision several weeks, with almost stricter watches on my food intake to make sure I didn’t try to over eat or try to force weight gain. Bruce had me stay with him and Damian for a few weeks as well to make sure I didn’t slip back into that dark place. It was a bit smothering at times...but in all honesty I welcomed the smothering because I knew it meant how much they all cared. And staying with Bruce again...it brought up my mood believe it or not. Being in the manor brought back happier memories of my childhood and seeing the man I considered a fatherly figure more often perked me up. Plus I got to see Tim a lot more than usual in those few weeks, a perk and joy all in itself as he kept me company when he wasn’t too busy with his work. Tim was also the one who disabled all comments on my social medias one calm rainy evening in the lounge. I was grateful and he patted my head after as he read his case files. I think I might’ve fallen asleep against him, I cant say I fully remember. With each passing week I felt better and better. It took a long time for my self esteem and confidence to rebuild itself, but it got some jump starts. Perhaps the best part was two months later after a sparring session with Kori. She was giving me tips on striking with a staff when Dick and the big bad bat Brucie himself walked in.

“ Batman? Has something happened?” He shook his head and put his hand on my shoulder.

“ I’m going to borrow Gracie for a few minutes.” Dick gently took her hand and smiled as he whispered something to her as he led me out of the training room and placed a long bottle of what looked like red chewy vitamins into my hand. When I looked up at him confused he gave me some of the best news of my life.

“ These are specially created vitamins designed to accommodate your body’s inhuman metabolism. Tim helped me create them. They're designed to help regulate fats and carb distribution in your body and allow your body to hold onto and gain more weight without immediately burning it off. Take one every week and in a few months you should be up at least one weight class if not more as long as you keep to your regular healthy eating habits, just like you wanted. By Tim’s calculations within the year you should gain enough weight to have a thicker figure, though you may always retain this thinner “ballet-ques” figure...you will more closely resemble the figure of girls your age.” I stared up at him then at the vitamins and sniffled, fighting off tears of joy. All those weeks with Tim and his seemingly just curious questions about my species and their anatomy...the “ case files”...I owed Tim a lot for this.

“ It was Dick’s idea, after all that happened two months ago.” The softer tone brought a smile to my face and I nodded, barely restraining the urge to hug Bruce while he was in the cowl.

“ T-thank you...thank you this means more to me than you know…” He nodded and turned to leave but I caught the ghost of a smile on his face as he walked away.

And once he had I ran back into the training room and tackled Dick to the ground with a ecstatic howl, shifting mid leap into wolf form and licking his face in gratitude, making him laugh as he lazily tried to push away my affection.

I started taking them that day, and it took a few months for a noticeable difference to take place, but it did. My clothes and uniform stopped hanging off me like a walking scarecrow and I started developing the beginning of a feminine figure. I stopped trying to stuff my face too much at every meal and with every week after my self esteem raised back up a little higher. Maybe people saw it in the big, wide crooked smiles in pictures of me now, no matter who they were with. Or maybe the team saw it in the fact I stopped trying to hide my body in layers of clothes, walking around in my favorite tank top after missions instead of over sized sweatshirts and shirts, or the fact I didn't mind sudden pictures taken of me. Regardless it showed and in time I was more than happy to show off that confidence. Throughout it all Jason made near constant visits between jobs to make sure I didn’t have too major of setbacks and Dick stayed by my side as often as he could, supporting me and being a physical reminder almost that I was never alone.

And I didn't feel alone.

And one day as I was getting ready for an outing I paused in front of the mirror and looked at myself, looked at my slightly more filled out tank top and the small curve of slightly more defined hips and an actually fairly filled out stomach, a fuller figure to match my broader than normal shoulders. I slowly looked into my own eyes and after a moment I began to smile.

Somehow….I didn't hate looking into the mirror as much as I used to.

“ I do not look that bad. I look fine.”

“ Gracie c’mon you coming? C’mon the others are gonna leave without us!”

I smiled at my reflection wider before running off out of the room after Jaime’s voice.

“ Im coming!!”

I dont look that bad.

And now I could finally start to see that.

The end.

OOOOOOOH ITS FINALLY DONE ITS FINALLY DONE!

Ive been working on this for three months now and it was really difficult to finish. Originally it wasnt supposed to be so angsty but...it turned out really angsty at the end.

@phantommoonpeople

@kid-crashed

@call-me-n0ni-chan

Tagging those I know will want to read this

I hope you all like it!!

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oswhys · 5 years

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Dumb AC concept ideas

So this is basically a info dump of ideas for potential AC games and concepts that its been playing with in my head, it's mostly me nerding out about junk (look if I can info dump about Teotihuacan I’ll do it.) like it's ideas that I think would be cool and what id want to see in future installments, even if they aren't likely to happen. It's also written super casually cause I started making this in a burst of inspiration at like 2 am and yet still got distracted from it cause I started going on tangents. So it's a bit of a mess. I’m totally down for bouncing ideas around if anyone has their own concepts.

1920’s jazz age assassin from the beginning of unity and the abstergo employee handbook. "The lives and failures of the most degenerate Americans to ever grace the world's stage - Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Stein." please tell me how this doesn't sound cool as shit? Okokokokokokok SO… CARS. like this dude would have a car (and of course the player can earn different cars and looks for their car and junk, including a yellow Duesenberg… like come on if he knew Fitzgerald they gotta let this dude drive Gatsby's car.) I think there can be an argument about him having a rope launcher attachment buuut maybe not??? I mean a car and a rope launcher would be dope as hell. The dude probably bounced between Paris and New York if he's a genuine jazz age junkie like how abstergo describes him and his writer pals. Also it would be cool to meet Picasso… also his base of operations should be a fucking speakeasy, like duh, like where else would a 1920’s assassin camp out? I don’t really have any plot ideas but the concept of a jazz age assassin is cool enough for me to want it this badly.

1970’s-1980’s William Miles in a corporate espionage type game, like i know he had Desmond in 1987 but he was an active filed assassin in 1977 when he was in Moscow so clearly he could've been doing other junk around then. It doesn't have to be him, i just want a 70’d-80’s assassin trying to fuck with abstergo and trying to steal animus research or something. Like Alieen Bock died in 81 and that was at the height of animus research before abstergo started really investing in it cause of Vidic. Like the surrogate initiative and the animus project are… basically the same thing really. Like knowing that Altair and Ezio were not actually related until their bloodlines crossed with Desmond. So with the memory keys being cited as an integral part of the animus project they obviously had a role to play in the surrogate project. Besides the newer games are pretty loosey-goosey with how the DNA and animus junk works now, with the spear having DNA traces or whatever and its corrupted enough that we could… choose things?? (don't ask questions just have fun i guess.) ok i’m over thinking this stuff… but come on… disco!!!!! Please please please have a disco assassination. Like… the idea of an assassin taking out a target at the disco is cool enough for me to want it. ALSO!!! If it goes into the 80’s then please for the love of god a Thriller inspired outfit would be to die for. Like i know getting the exact look would be a trademark nightmare but an inspired look may be able to get away with it. I just want some real corporate espionage type missions while dressed in some brightly colored dorky(cool as shit) 70’s/80’s fashion.

So like… ANYTHING from ancient Andean culture. So The Chimú or the Moche… that would be cool, but I'd settle for Wari and Tiwanaku. I just kinda want to see Chan Chan recreated. And Moche art was so fucking good like… idk man they're making video games that are mostly of ancient cultures now so the possibility of them making something in a more modern setting is slim to none. Like come on they're gonna want to make like idk maybe one more really ancient cultural game so they can still reuse assets again before making a whole new saga. That's just their track record. The problem with doing an ancient andean cultural video game is that there isn't a lot to work with other then our knowledge of the architecture and artistry of the ancient peoples. We have art documentary significant events but there isn't really any historical recordings so there's no significant figures to meet or events to take part in that we know of right now. BUT that also means that hey if Ubisoft wants us to have freedom of choice within the narrative this would be a great opportunity.

Speaking of ancient culturesssss ancient Mexican cultures would be REALLY cool too. Like obviously Mayans culture is the first to come to mind but AC already kinda explored the Mayans so idk maybe a more underrated ancient culture deserves the spotlight. The Zapotec and other civilizations in the Oaxaca. Like this would be really cool since we actually see a rise in raiding and conquest warfare, like theres these bas-relief stone carvings called Las Danzantes which are actually depictions of sacrificial victims, most likely foreign captives. The architecture is also to die for like i’m a sucker for talud-tablero style stuff popping up in ancient Latin america. Also do i gotta say it? BALL COURTS!!! A recreation of the ancient ball game in a video game would be cool as shit my dudes like… please i want this so bad. Like how origins depicted mummification with respect I’d love to see the same kind of loving dedication to the funerary practices of the ancient peoples. (off topic completely but some latin american civilizations had their own forms of mummification) like i wanna see the abandonment of Monte Alban and the later use of it by the Mixtecs. But the most important thing about the celebration of the ancient Zapotec would be the ability to celebrate the modern Zapotec culture, that would just be cool. Ok I’ll finish up this train of ideas with the one i really really really want to see recreated, the original Teotihuacan, before the Aztecs found it. With the pyramids being painted and covered in beautiful carvings and, of course, talud-tablero style architecture. It's basically the biggest ancient city in mesoamerica with hidden cave systems that we are still finding today and so much of the ancient city was built over because it might've been covered up or eroded to the point where no one knew it was there, or because there wasn't really anyone who cared enough to uh, not build on top of historical sites. Modern mexico city is built all around and on top of it (apparently you can see Walmart from the top of the temple of the sun…) so its a huge ancient city that was really colorful and really populated with crazy ancient tunnels underneath the pyramids that we’ve only discovered recently so how fucking cool are those possibilities? Like i just can't get over the idea of some assassin-esque person climbing up red pyramids and sitting next to statues and carvings of Queztalcoatl painted in a turquoise. Ancient farms and city life thriving. From what we know about it, like many other ancient latin american cities it was abandoned at some point, exactly why is unclear though (probably a mix of things cause there wasn't any kings really but more like… neighborhood councils (that's the best guess rn)). It was an actual city though, most archaeologists compare it to modern cities due to its city planning and its huge population. What was left behind was so spectacular that when the Aztecs found it they legit thought it was the city of the gods. This was a real fucking city and I’m crazy about it man i want it in a fucking video game my dudes.

COWBOYS PLEASE. Like i know rdr2 came out so they probably wont do it (for a while at least) and they already have the gold rush assassin so they've dabbled with cowboy stuff but… cowboys… like theres nothing else to say really… Cowboys. Also like i know how AC is pretty much ass melee combat and cowboys means guns and lots of guns and bows and probably rope darts. But… folding swords. That my shitty solution to have melee combat, like syndicate had melee and some gun stuff cause duh, but it was mostly melee. Like you can make the game centered around stealth so a lot more sneaking then combat, kinda like in unity. I have a few ideas for this one but most of them play into my own personal cowboy wish fulfillment fantasy of owning a farm with snakes for the production of venoms and other toxins. It's hard to explain but i kinda really want to see someone with a snake/spider enclosure where they produce venoms for the protag to use. The specific time period i have in mind is like 1870-1888 but it could defo go later. It's just that was peak for a lot of famous gunslingers and robberies. And Mesa Verde was basically rediscovered in the late 1880’s (its kinda weird like it was “officially” discovered in 88 but others saw it before that soooo. Also Montezuma Castle would be cool to visit in game as well. I dont have have a lot of knowledge about mesa verde or Montezuma but i know they're cool af.) the wild west is just ripe with possibility so i have some hope they’ll do one in the future but i don't see it happening anytime within the next couple of years.

Please for the love of god give me a AC3/unity dual sequel. Set in 1798 Egypt before during and maybe a little after the french invasion of Egypt. There would be a ton to work around and justify to get that to happen in universe buuuuut… i want it so badly. I have a shit ton of ideas but im saving all of that for a rainy day.

I wouldn't mind if they actually did stuff with WWI, mostly cause i really like that one WWI assassin from project legacy and Lydia's whole thing was really cool.

Ok I’m kinda on burn out after all that cause I just… its 4 AM and i’m supposed to be writing a paper but I made this big fucking oops.

#Assassin's Creed #assassins creed #assassin’s creed #this is dumb sorry i just... gotta express this shit #my stuff

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ultiwrites · 6 years

Text

October writing challenge 6-7

Following @horrificmemes ‘s list. And yeah, i’m still doing this lmao.

Day 1 : Revenge

Day 2 : Lookalike

Day 3 : Transformation

Day 4 : Scream

Day 5 : Creature, Night sky

Day 6-7 : Poison, Doll (Hollow)

He swallowed the sobs that tried to find their way out his throat, nearly choking in the process, vocal chords feeling raw and tender, aching from all the screams he'd had to swallow.

He curled even closer against the weight in his arms, plastering himself more to the wall and willing his breaths to be silent, soft, no matter how much he just wanted to scream and wail and curse.

This was all his fault anyway, he had no right neither time to feel pity for himself.

He slowly leaned forward, resting his forehead against his friend's, his breath hitching for a tick, then stopping altogether when he heard footsteps, loud and thunderous in the stillness that surrounded him as he hid in the crevice of a broken wall, curled into a ball and trying to be invisible.

The noises faded away in the distance eventually, but the panic remained, remnants of crazed eyes and twisted smiles making his skin crawl, making him clutch on his friend tighter as he held his breath, trying to listen for the other's, heart freezing when he thought he couldn't feel them.

They were too soft, too feeble.

Holding someone you loved in your arms while they struggled to breathe was nothing short of painful, and he couldn't take his eyes away from his teammate in fear that his chest stopped moving altogether.

His eyes were vacant and empty, staring straight ahead at nothing, looking like he wasn't there. His mouth was slightly parted, skin pale and clammy, body completely boneless and lax, looking like a marionette whose's strings had been cut. He could barely feel his heartbeat through the closeness of his hold, and it scared him to think it could stop and he would be none the wiser if he so much as leaned away.

If he didn't do something soon, he would be...

He wouldn't allow it.

Not his friend, not his family.

This had been his fault, and he wouldn't rest until he made things right, until he made sure he was safe. He wiped his eyes with the back of his gloved hand, clenched his jaw and bit his lip, inhaled through his nose and let the determination drown him, invigorate him, shroud his body like a second skin.

No matter what happened to him, he would protect his family.

It was the least he could do.

-5 hours earlier-

Lance walked out of his pod, yawning and blinking sleepy eyes in hopes of becoming more alert, squinting against the three stars that made the sky a vibrant green, hurting his vision with the intensity of it's color. He had been sent to planet Karakuri to seal an alliance with the natives there, the Kuria, whom Allura had said had been allies of Altea and her father long before Zarkon lost his mind, that they were agreeable and honorable people and it would be easy.

He kind of thought that she'd jinxed him, but she'd waved his hand and said that nothing bad could happen this time. Again, he'd thought that that was inviting bad luck to bite him in the ass, but she'd just glared at him and shooed him away towards the hangar, her frustrated expression becoming fond after a tick, waving him goodbye.

He used his helmet to analyze the air and see if he could take it away, sighing in relief when he did so, the gentle breeze feeling wonderful against his sweaty skin. The planet was humid as all hell, and his suit was doing nothing for him, it was plastered to his body and the sensation was uncomfortable.

He wiped his head around, looking for his partner in this mission, but it seemed like he hadn't arrived yet-

Ah. There he was.

Another pod descended and landed just besides his, the ramp opening as Keith strided forward, running to Lance's side and taking his helmet away when he noticed he didn't have his own.

"Sorry for the wait, Lance. My mom wanted to run our next mission by me again." He smiled at his friend, chuckling at his sheepish expression.

"Don't worry dude, it's all good. Let's just go to the castle, I'm sweating buckets here." He fanned himself with his hand, prompting Keith to snort and nod his head, both of them walking alongside the path and towards the big castle on the other side.

It took them only minutes to arrive, and the King and his advisors were readily waiting for them, slightly bowing - in respect, or as a salute, he didn't know which. These aliens were...To put it mildly, they made him uncomfortable at first glance. They were humanoid in form, with ashen skin and gaunt appearances, fuzzy spongy hair, long limbs and noses, with mouths that stretched from side to side of their faces and big eyes that shone too bright for his liking.

They also made a strange sound as they walked, but Lance wasn't anyone to judge by looks alone, and Allura had assured them over and over that they were allies. So he would be respectful and dutifully carry out his role as a diplomat.

He slowly approached the King and shook his hand, the skin cold as ice and just as hard, then proceeded to make idle chat that slowly devolved into talks about alliances, the coalition, weaponry and armies and everything Allura had instructed into him as the representative of Voltron.

From time to time, he would side glance Keith, who sometimes gave his input about something, his brow slightly furrowed with his hand constantly at his hip, right where his luxite blade was. It was a sign that something was putting him on edge or making him uncomfortable or wary, and it might had been the alien's appearance or the slight mechanical tone of their voice, but Lance could agree that he wanted to finish this quick and return to the Atlas as soon as possible.

"That is wonderful, Paladin Lance. But we should continue our talk while we dine, if you do not mind a small walk through the gardens first. My daughter, Luktar, likes to wander around there, it's her favorite place, she loves the flowers and the stone fountain." He nodded with a smile, and followed the King -Keith in tow- and his entourage as they guided them through the castle's hallways, slowly inching towards his teammate's side to whisper to him.

"Hey, Keith. You seem quite nervous, is everything okay?" The other looked at him through the corner of his eye, biting his lip, his hand never leaving the handle of his blade.

"I don't know, Lance. I'm just....something feels...off. My instincts are screaming at me and...I don't know why." Lance frowned, looking around for any sign of danger, noticing the small cracks in the walls and some withered plants, rusted armors and a slight coating of dust on the furniture.

It was nothing strange, every culture was different and, it was obvious that as wealthy as the royals were, they didn't care much about appearances, just enough to distinguish who was well-born and who was a commoner. But still...

Keith's gut feelings and instincts had never steered them wrong before, and he wasn't about to doubt them now. Although his feeling could come from many things, so they couldn't just ruin this mission before knowing that they were facing.

"Maybe the Galra are lurking on this planet..." He whispered. "...or maybe some bounty hunters will be after our heads like last time, who knows. Whatever the reason, just....stay on guard, and let me know if your 'feeling' gets stronger, okay?" Keith nodded wordlessly, and Lance straightened from his bent position, watching the light at the end of the hallway that eventually revealed a beautiful garden, full of exotic plants and flowers.

Someone was approaching them from the left, clad in bright pink clothes that matched their peach skin perfectly, sporting a veil that covered the lower half of their face, possibly to conceal their large mouth, their frizzy beige hair up in a big bun. It was a big difference from the pale demeanor of the other natives, and he wondered why that might be, only to lose his train of though as the newcomer spoke.

"Father! I see you've welcomed out guests already. I am so sorry I was late, I made some refreshments as an apology, I hope our brave paladins accept this small gift." He had the feeling that the...Princess? smiled under her veil, eyes crinkling as she handed some drinks to her father and his servants, then approaching Lance to do the same.

"I am sorry, Sir Paladin, it seems I miscounted how many drinks I needed, I only have one left." The Princess looked apologetic, staring at him although she was waiting for his disapproval. In all honestly, he didn't want to drink anything they gave him right now, but the others were enjoying it without trouble, some already having finished them, and he didn't want to be disrespectful in such an important mission.

So he smiled at the Princess and took the glass, watching her eyes lit up as she giggled softly, walking towards her father's side and chatting with him as she glanced at him from time to time, looking eager and nervous, as if she was seeking approval for the concoction she'd made.

Lance resigned himself to drink something that he knew was going to taste disgusting, and rose the glass to his lips, smelling the faint aroma of strawberries and milk, ready to take a gulp before-

A hand snatched it away, and before he could do anything, Keith had downed it in one go.

The black paladin sent a toothy smirk towards the Princess, who looked flabbergasted and surprised, but immediately beamed and bowed her head in appreciation and gratitude, her posture relaxed and expression happy as she spoke to her father.

"Keith..." He seethed under his breath. " Why did you do that? They might have taken offense or something, we dont know how their culture works." Keith gave the glass to one of the maids and took a deep breath, looking Lance dead in the eye, the fire that he was so familiar with begginig to burn brighter behind his eyelids.

"I don't know. Something just didn't feel right with me, you know how it goes. My Galra side detects something and urges me to act, but my human side doesn't have an idea what the problem is or what I was acting on, and I have to find for myself." Keith shrugged, annoyance clear in his face as he sported a small pout. His Galran heritage had given him trouble in a few occasions, and, although Krolia and Kolivan had tried to help him to the best of their ability, as he was a hybrid, there were many things they didn't understand.

So right now, his Galran side may have screamed at him to ' Drink the glass' but gave no reasoning neither an inkling as to why, and it left his teammate with a big ass question mark above his head, having to unravel the mystery by himself.

"Okay buddy, I get it. Just....try to hold back next time?" He hopefully asked, trying to be gentle, knowing how much Keith hated the things out of his control, specially things that had to do with his own body.

His friend nodded and they both followed the King again, finally ending in a big dining hall in which not him -neither Keith- ate anything, and used up their time to convince the King to join them instead while the Princess shared her input as to why they should.

Everything was going smoothly when Lance noticed that the sky was beginning to darken, and his clock read 9 pm Earth time, time for them to leave and come back tomorrow to discuss whatever matters they hadn't been able to today.

He rose from his chair and began saying his goodbyes when he felt fingers curl around his wrist, and he turned to the side to watch Keith curled up on his chair, hand on his stomach, parlor pale and lips a straight line as he shallowly breathed.

"Keith? Keith, what's wrong?" He kneeled before him, noticing the way his eyes were squinting and blinking continuously, shoulders shaking slightly as the grip he had on Lance's wrist tightened. He raised his hand and felt his forehead, noticing the icy feel of his skin and the cold sweat that dripped down his neck, internally panicking and wondering what to do, he looked to be in pain.

"Paladin, what's going on?" The Princess approached, brows furrowed and voice hurried and frantic, the worry palpable in her tone.

"I don't know, he just...he doesn't seem to be feeling well..." Keith coughed and shook his head, and his body began falling forward and right onto Lance's arms, the coldness and tremors making Lance's heart stop, drowning him in concern. " Keith! " He called his name, hoping for an answer, but he only got ragged breaths in return and a pained moan that broke his heart.

"Quick paladin, take him to the medical ward!" The Princess shouted, already running there as she trusted Lance to follow her, which he did. He cradled Keith close to his chest and stood up, holding him tight, then began walking as fast as he could, eventually running with all his might until he arrived at a hospital-like room, where the Princess instructed him to lay Keith down on one of the beds.

"I will have one of my doctors run a scan to find out what's wrong." She told him seriously, her voice grave and filled with the authority only a Princess could have. "You should go and contact your team." The Princess began tinkering with the many machines around, giving him his back.

"I am not leaving him." He said, determined to stick by and make sure nothing bad happened to him, make sure that they could help him and, if not, take him back to the Atlas for treatment.

"Paladin, I do not know if we'll be able to help, we have no knowledge on your species, he's here just for first aid. You need to contact your team, but this room is specifically constructed to block any kind of signal, because it interferes with our machinery and is dangerous for patients." She continued connecting cables and controlling the stats on a screen, continuously typing and moving around, even going as far as ripping her skirt to be able to go back and forth without restrictions, as fast as needed be.

Lance looked at Keith's pained face once, and knew that he had no choice, he needed to call Shiro and the others, he had to take Keith back home to find what was wrong, had to make sure he was safe. He approached his teammate and whispered comforting words into his ear, brushing his hair back from his clammy forehead, then leaning back.

"I'll be right back, Keith, you'll be okay. I promise." He nodded at the Princess, who returned the gesture, before striding away from the room, putting on his helmet and hailing the Atlas as soon as he was a corridor away, but only static welcomed him, so he ran further and tried again, and again, and again....

As his panic continued to grow, he noticed that no matter how far he got, his systems didn't seem to want to function, and in his haste to find a good spot, he'd returned to the garden, running right through the rocky path, breathing heavily as he wildly looked for a connection.

He turned towards the right and began running again, but his leg collided with something and he fell face first onto the ground, his helmet falling away while he let out a scream of pain.

He spat out dirt and pushed himself away from the floor, opening his eyes to search for his helmet in desperation-

Only gray greeted him.

He blinked once, twice, three times.

He rubbed his eyes and glanced around, uncomprehending.

What had once been a colorful, lush and vibrant garden was now nothing more than ashes and rot; the ground was gray- as was everything else- the trees and plants were withered and decaying, most of them dead, and the fountains and stones were cracked and broken with no water inside.

The air smelt pungent and sour, the smell of soot and rot and stagnation mixing together in a suffocating perfume that spoke of death. There wasn't even any noise; the previous chatter of bird-like creatures and running water was gone, no more rustling of leaves and wind chimes filling the silence, only a foreboding stillness that was broken by the wail of a desolate landscape.

Lance held his breath and looked at his foot, seeing the machine he had tripped onto, fumbling as he looked for some kind of switch, something- He found it, and pressed it, and in an instant, the beauty was back, like a dream, like paradise- He crushed the device under his foot, and brought back the reality alongside a feeling of dread that did nothing to his growing panic.

Something was really, really wrong here.

He needed to get Keith, right now

He scrambled for his helmet, with still no news from his failing comms, and ran all the way towards the medical ward, bayard in hand, eyes wide open and ears trained to catch any kind of sound. He arrived within a minute, but as he'd feared, when he opened the doors, Keith was nowhere to be seen, and Lance felt his gut clench with nausea and his head beginning to spin as he thought of the many horrible fates that could have befallen his best friend.

Neither Black nor Red could come because they were healing after an arduous battle; his comms were shot, Keith was missing and he was alone- god-

Just when he was pondering what to do, voices began seeping into the hall, and he hid under a bed just as a few soldiers passed by, muttering to themselves.

"Have you seen the Red one?" Their voices were monotonous, and made shivers run down his spine.

"No. Princess asked us to find him and bring him back, but he is nowhere to be seen." Another voice, devoid of feeling, speaking as if it didn't matter to them, as if it didn't concern them at all.

"Continue looking." Affirmative noises. Then their footsteps faded away in the distance, still emitting that strange sound, like the rattling of metal inside wood, heavy and loud admist the continuous noises in the medical ward, all of them making it hard for him to think.

Getting up from under the bed, he tried his comms one last time, and, seeing as he still got no response, he left a recorded message in case the signal came back, hoping that one of his teammates would receive it and come help them. When he was finished, he took out his bayard and drew his sword, peeking over the hallways and hugging the walls when he was sure there was no one near him.

His helmet's systems were all shot, so he couldn't look for heat signatures or try to pinpoint Keith's suit location, so he had to resort to look for him in the traditional way, which did nothing to his distress and agitation, his heart thundering inside his chest with fear.

What if he was too late? What if something horrible had already happened to him? He would never forgive himself. Tears sprang to his eyes at the mere thought.

He wiped at them before looking around, realizing that he was in a part of the castle that he didn't recognize, with dark walls and even a darker floor, all coated in a layer of velvet cloth that made it seem like everything was covered in blood.

It gave him the chills, but if they hadn't visited this area before, then there was the possibility that they had taken Keith here. He needed to look. And so he did.

Amongst the corridor, there were many doors, all of them closed with writing on them that he couldn't understand, but a few feet before him, one stood slightly ajar, a faint light illuminating the hallway. He stood glued to the wall, turning his head slowly and peeking inside, squinting to try and see through the haze and brightness.

At first, he couldn't understand what he was seeing.

There were....rows and rows of some kind of machines, seemingly made of wood with a slight humanoid form, giving him their back. He knew from Allura's info that these aliens's abilities consisted in making weapons that resembled dolls, battle machines that fought and followed their master's wishes, and that were pretty strong and durable.

Enough to fend off the Galra for ten thousand years.

He tried to get a closer look, but just then, a voice he knew echoed loudly from his right, and he whirled around to see another open door, this one far ahead, and strained his ears to catch what was being said, his fist closed tightly around the handle of his sword.

"This one's so pretty....not as pretty as the other one, but still exotic enough. It is sad that he has Galra genes, but I am sure I will be able to fix it, I just need the right tools." Lance's blood froze in his veins, there was only one person who the Princess could be talking about. " Guard him well. Not that he can go anywhere, but I do not want his companion to find him, understood?" A chorus of 'Yes, Princess' followed her words, and then footsteps grew nearer, and, in his panic, he ducked into the room, holding his breath and trying to calm the racing of his heart.

Thankfully, the room he'd ran into rattled with noise, creaking and rustling and the sound of wood being shifted around that seemed to be everywhere, all of those hopefully masking his harsh breaths and the tremble of his hands.

When he was sure that the Princess had gone away, he left the room and stealthily walked towards the other door, peeking in with his heart in his throat, praying to god like a mantra to 'Let Keith please be allright'. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the light, he froze on the spot.

Keith was sitting on a big, plush chair, his hair brushed back and tied in a small ponitail, his body clad in a white robe layered with a violet vest that covered him whole, his uniform thrown away on the floor by his side. He wasn't doing anything, eyes trained in front of him, head slightly tilted to the right, mouth open and hands resting on the sides, looking like he was in a trance, body so immobile Lance thought he wasn't even breathing.

And it was that thought what prompted him to move, barging in and taking the guards by surprise, managing to stab one in the heart. The other one jumped over him, his hands going to Lance's neck, applying force that felt like too much for someone their size and weight, making the cogs in Lance's mind begin to spin and slowly fall into place.

He kicked at the soldier with his legs and threw him off balance, then used the opportunity to bring his sword up, changing to his blaster and shooting him in the face, the other falling to the side and remaining unmoving.

He hurried to move the soldier away, and as soon as he was free, he ran towards Keith's side, hands going to his neck and wrist, trying to feel for a pulse, feeling the fear and anger rise in a deafening crescendo that didn't stop until he found a heartbeat; slow, feeble.

Too much to be healthy, too much to be normal, but there.

He sighed in relief and rested his forehead against Keith's chest, slowly looking into his eyes and tying to speak to him, get a reaction or even a twitch of his fingers.

"Keith, hey, it's me, Lance." He cradled his cheek and slowly patted it." C'mon can you hear me? Say something please, blink if you can hear my voice, do something- anything." But Keith remained a statue, empty eyes gazing at nothing, body a dead weight reclining against the seat. He didnt even blink once, his lashes didn't flutter and his lips didn't move, it was as if he was frozen solid, and Lance wanted to scream.

He had to get away. Had to get Keith help.

He struggled to move Keith the way he wanted, but eventually managed to carry him on his back, the sound of his breaths calming him somehow. He looked at the floor to sidestep the bodies of the soldiers, and stilled when he noticed that there was no blood at all, and that the way their bodies were strewn around was...wrong and unnatural.

He crouched down and touched the hole he made on the soldier's chest, freezing when he heard a small sound coming from it, like the ticking of a clock or the rotation of cogwheels. He turned on the lights on his helmet, and, gulping in a deep breath, looked inside the hole.

Something moved inside, and with a choked shriek, he backed away so fast he nearly dropped his teammate. The soldier fell to the side from the speed of his movement, and his robe fell open, showing his chest and arms-

Lance gagged and covered his mouth, whimpering.

All the way from his elbow to his neck, a big cut divided the skin in two, the edges broken and slightly green, stitched together with a thick thread that haphazardly kept the two halves together. On the center of his chest, there was another one that ran all the way down, disappearing under his shirt, just as badly stitched as the arm, a gaping hole in the sewing letting him see the inside for a tick, catching a glimpse of wood and iron, broken tissue and remnants of clogged blood.

He looked away and vomited on the floor, struggling to keep Keith on his back, tears springing to his eyes as he pieced together the mystery unraveling in front of him.

He stood up on shaky legs, staggering towards the soldier he'd shot in the face, nudging him with his foot to turn him around, eyes widening and stomach clenching at the sight of ripped skin and a wooden piece under it, the smell coming from it foul and nauseating.

He gasped and wheezed, looking at the many figures hanged on the walls with racks, the supposed weapons that the Kurians were so skilled at making, the battle dolls. But when he approached them and rolled up their sleeves, the same cuts and stitches on the skin greeted him, and a horrifying realization turned icy the blood in his veins.

He backed away slowly, looking around, remembering the many rooms with hundreds upon hundreds of dolls lined on the walls, and resisted the urge to scream. But then, a rattling sound began filling the room, louder and louder as the seconds ticked by. The dolls' eyes rolled on their head and looked at him, all of them at the same time, their mouths stretched impossibly wide into twisted smiles.

And he did scream.

He kicked the door open and ran with all his might, remembering to take Keith's bayard with him before he left, goosebumps rising on his skin when a myriad of footsteps began trailing his path, their voices distorted and mechanical- not human.

"Found him. Find him. The Princess orders it so. Do not let him escape. Retrieve the doll, retrieve the new doll." This was insane, the Princess was crazy. He needed to tell the King or- or one of the villagers, maybe the maids would be able to help him-

He crossed paths with the King just as he thought this, and was about to yell for him when he noticed his stance, lax and slumped, head twisted to look down the corridor Lance was running from, eyes rolling around abnormally until they finally settled on him.

The noise he made was shrill and inhuman, and Lance was fast to turn he other way and run towards the garden, looking for a way out. His legs burnt from the effort, and his chest felt like it was going to burst; both with panic and fear, but he couldn't stop, Keith needed him, he had to keep him safe, had to get them away from these...monsters.

On his mad dash throughout the castle, he met with villagers and soldiers, maids and children and royals, the cook and the gardener and the medic; all of them began pursuing him as soon as they saw him, and all of them sported the same cuts on their wrists, hidden by fine made clothes, their insides rattling as they ran after him.

Everyone had been turned into a doll, there was no one left alive.

And, no matter how far he ran or how well he hid, the dolls always found him, scratching at him like ferocious beasts, brandishing daggers and knifes and whatever they considered a weapon, forcing him to retreat and go back to running.

It was an endless hunt, and they never grew tired.

But Lance did, and he was getting desperate, taking twists and turns in different directions, trying to lose the monsters intent on catching him.

And it was on one of his blind turns on the castle hallways that he heard a voice he recognized; the voice of the Princess, scolding someone with a high pitched tone of voice, speaking loud on a room nearby. Lance glanced around, frantic, and noticed that he was next to the medical ward once more, catching sight of a hole in the wall behind a painting and hurrying to hide inside, holding Keith against his chest as he crammed them both in the tight space.

"You have not found them yet? How useless can you be? The potion he drank will only last until the stars have dimmed, and I do not know what kind of effects it will have on a Galran hybrid. You need to find my doll so I can complete the transition, understood? Failure is not an option." Lance held his breath and let the echo of her words drown him, a weight settling on his shoulders as he realized what had happened, and why Keith was suffering right now.

"Yes, Princess."

"Good boy. Now, focus your hearing and find them, the Paladin's vibrations should be enough for you to pinpoint their location, do not come back until you retrieved them both." Footsteps left towards the right, and the Princess' voice spoke again, filling him with incommensurable rage and disgust, his fists clenching with the need to squeeze the life out of her.

"Now, I should go back to the basement, this one needs a few adjustments." Her presence grew further and further away until she disappeared, and Lance slumped forward, depleted of energy but seething with fury, vision becoming blurry as he fought back tears.

God, this was all his fault. The potion had been meant for him, it was supposed to be him and not Keith, Keith had drinked his glass and saved his life, but....but the price he paid for it was too much.

The tears that fell down his cheeks rolled down Keith's own, and as Lance glanced inside his empty eyes, he found himself breaking, sobbing softly as he tried to think of what to do. He thought that bringing Keith along was the safest option for him, but if what the Princess had said was true and the dolls located them through vibrations and sound...then Lance was nothing but a huge red flag, a beacon for the flesh dolls to find him.

His very heartbeat was a loud siren attracting every single one of those vile things.

He had to go.

-Present time-

It was time to do what needed to be done. There was no two ways about it.

He needed to go, but he didn't dare leave Keith alone, just the mere thought was unbearable. His friend was vulnerable and defenceless, drugged to stay immobile and stone-like so the Princess could carve a doll out of him.

His throat burnt from the vile rising in it.

Is the flesh dolls really detected vibration and sound waves, then he had to hide Keith where there was a lot of noise, but the palace was but a tomb, still and lifeless, and the dolls wouldn't have trouble finding him since they didn't need to breathe.

The only existing sound right now was Lance.

He looked down at his best friend, eyes still empty and frozen, breaths and heartbeat so slow they seemed to court death, and he knew the dolls wouldn't find him as he was, if only he could find a place where he could pass unnoticed.

A gentle hum lit up a lightbulb inside his head, and he glanced at the door to the medical ward, remembering the whirring sounds the machines made, the beeps from the computers and the steady drip, drip, drip of several objects and fluid bags.

How he'd hid there before, and none of the dolls had found him.

He held his breath and ran as quick as he could, entering the empty room and searching for a good spot to hide Keith in. He found it on the far back at the end of the room, a big closet for storing supplies and medical tools that was mostly empty and dusty, looking like it hadn't been used in years.

Another piece to the puzzle that Lance couldn't yet understand.

He hurried to dig out boxes and sheets and cloth, took everything away and laid Keith inside on his back, taking his shield from both his armor's and his teammate's and putting them on his friend, creating a sort of force field that covered him like a small dome.

He leaned forward and looked at him through the shield, smiling sadly and wishing to see something, any expression on his face; anger, annoyance- even fear would have been welcomed as of now. But nothing showed, nothing moved, and Lance cried.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. That drink was supposed to be mine, this shouldn't have happened to you. But I'm going to make things right, she said the effects would wear off at night, and there's only an hour left at best." He tried to smile, sure that it came out more as a grimace than anything.

"She said she didn't know what effects it would have on a Galra, but I hope they aren't too severe. Keith....if you can hear me, when you wake up, run away from here as fast as you can, there's something really wrong with these people. Ask for help, then come back, okay?" He took in a deep breath, gripping his bayard as hard as he could, his blaster manifesting as per his wishes.

"Don't worry about me, and don't do anything stupid, okay? I'll be fine. See....see you later." Lance took all the objets he'd taken out and covered Keith with them, making sure he was concealed on all sides before hiding him behind boxes and other things, trying for it to look as inconspicuous as possible. He then took a rolled quilt and put a white blanket around it, tying it to his middle to realize the illusion that he was still carrying Keith.

Afterwards, he closed the doors and left the room, running as fast as he could, never looking back.

The more he looked around as he ran, the more he realized things were really wrong here. There were machines like the one in the garden everywhere, and, when turned off, the small coat of dust atop the furniture turned to inches of soot and ash, the slightly cracked walls became collapsed rocks and broken stone, and the small rusting on the armors turned into melted metal, nothing but a puddle on the grass covered ground.

Nothing was real. Not the castle, neither the sounds or smells, and he was doubting if even all the people were fake. So far, he'd only found dolls, their stench speaking of rot and long lost life, strong and overpowering now that the devices had been destroyed by him.

He nearly hurled everytime one of the flesh dolls attacked him, but he'd managed to avoid them so far and escape everytime, so he counted it as a win.

They were gaining on him, though, and he still needed to stall, or, alternatively, go to the root of the problem and see if he could do something about it himself, in other words-

The Princess.

He had no doubt that she knew what was going on, and that she was aware of who the mastermind behind it all was. He needed to find what was going on and stop whatever she was doing- he didn't know how the dolls worked, or who was controlling them, but if he found the Princess, he was sure he would find out.

So he set out to just do that, running amok through the infinite hallways and corridors, looking for any kind of stairwell that led down, screaming in frustration when he found none. His legs hurt from running around so much, and his chest was on fire; he'd been scratched a few times and kicked a bit, too, and his ankle was giving him grief from a bad dodge he'd done some time ago.

He had no time, the dolls were relentless, and if he didn't find the basement soon, he was sure it would be the end of him, there wouldn't even be flowers to put on his grave here-

He gasped.

Flowers. The garden. The King's words.

'But we should continue our talk while we dine, if you do not mind a small walk through the gardens first. My daugther, Luktar, likes to wander around there, it's her favorite place, she loves the flowers and the stone fountain.'

It was a long shot, but he couldn't think of anything else. With aching legs and a renewed determination, he stealthily sought the desolate gardens from before, and, when he finally arrived, he peeked over the edge of the fountain, and saw a stairwell that went down, down into the abyss.

It was dark, and ominous and scary, but he was still going to go down.

Keith needed him, and if Lance could defeat the evil guy behind all this, then maybe they could escape sooner and contact their team without the threat of danger lurking behind every corner.

He threw the rolled quilt behind a pile of rocks, gripped his sword tight, and jumped down and into the stairs, walking down and trying not to wince at the dim lightning and the smell of stagnant water and mold, the cold giving him chills.

There was a steady dripping sound around him, and the walls and ceiling were covered in moss and dirt, the decay showing signs of being old- although just how old, he couldn't say, but he had the feeling it was a lot.

When he reached the end, a long hallway illuminated with torches awaited him, and he hugged the wall as he walked the length of it, breaths harsh and short, his panic a constant thrumming that wouldn't leave him be. The door a the end was slightly ajar and, without further ado, he walked right in, sword at the ready, since he didn't want to take any chances.

He jumped when the door closed behind him, and frantically looked around, the fear getting hold of his heart.

"Ara? If it isn't the Red paladin? My, I rarely have visits, so this is a surprise." The Princess appeared from behind a pillar, the lights growing a little brighter and letting him see the circular room they were in. "Isn't the Galra one with you? How unfortunate, I wanted to make him into a beautiful doll, but I guess you'll do until I can find him. How about you play with me?" The alien took out two swords from her dress, and threw herself at him with the ferocity only a warrior could have, making him back away in surprise.

"Wait! Princess, why are you doing this? Where are all the people? What are those dolls?" He blocked her every swipe, dodging her attacks and parrying her hits as best as he could, but she was good. She smiled, rows upon rows of teeth making him cringe.

"Wouldn't you like to know. Tell me where your friend is, and maybe I will tell you." Lance seethed, remembering a frail body in his arms, breaths feeble and ragged, a heartbeat that could barely be heard.

"Not on your life! I don't know what kind of twisted game you're playing, but those were the lives of your family! I know what you did to them! I saw! You hollowed them out and made dolls out of them! Have you no shame, no heart?" The Princess shrieked and roared, coming at him with even more strength than before, her swipes and slashes relentless, no more words leaving her lips besides grunts and screams of rage, her anger visible in her eyes.

She cornered him against the wall, and Lance managed to sidestep and hit her on the back, but she merely staggered before turning around and resuming her onslaught, her force never ceasing, her attacks never wavering in strength.

His arms began to hurt, and he knew he had to end this now.

He waited until her movements had become like a loop to him, until he memorized every pattern and variation, letting her close even when she managed to cut him and keeping her at a distance to see how she behaved when afar. When she stepped back and prepared to dive at him again, he knew she would swipe down before slashing with her other hand, and so, when the swipe came he crouched, turning his bayard into the blaster, and when the slash went for his head he tilted to the right, pointed his weapon upwards, and fired.

The squelching sound the body made as it hit the ground was disgusting, but Lance kept it together long enough to get his breaths under control, trying not to look at the blood on his hands for too long-

There was none.

The choked gasp that left his lips was cut off by a searing pain through his chest, and he looked down in time to see the tip of a sword sticking out of it, coated in red and slowly dripping to the floor. A malicious voice, shrouded with grief and anger and fire sounded from behind him, slowly mixing with a booming one that seemed to come from everywhere at the once.

"No shame? No heart? I did this because I loved them, you wouldn't understand." The sword was taken out and he screamed, his legs failing him as he dropped to the ground, trying to cover the wound with his hand.

Another hand gripped him by the back of his collar, dragging him forward, and through blurry vision, he saw the figure of the Princess, eyes blank and smile twisted, the hole on her head showing him nothing but an empty casket.

She was a doll too- but then- who-

He coughed, feeling the blood fall down his parted lips, the grip on his neck nearly choking him, his battered body still being dragged but this time up a flight of stairs and towards the center of the room. He was thrown unceremoniously on the cold floor, the voice echoing throughout the stance no longer the Princess', but a deeper, rougher one, one that sounded older.

He looked up from his crumpled position, and his eyes landed on a throne, in which an alien sat, clad in pink with pale beige hair up in a haphazardly made bun, their face wrinkled and mouth twisted into a smile that didn't reach their eyes. From their hands and body, from every part he could see, thousands upon millions of strings flew towards the ceiling, some tugging, some lax, some moving and swaying as they moved their hands like a conductor, like a-

A puppeteer.

"You do not understand, paladin, I did this out of love." They said, standing up from their chair and walking towards the Princess' doll, slowly caressing her face.

"When the Galra came, many, many eons ago, they took away everything that I loved, they killed my family, my friends, the villagers and the children and destroyed every single smidge of life they could find. Our dolls were no match for them, no matter how skilled we were." The alien tugged on a string, played a few of them like a harp, closed their eyes and hummed a tune, smiling as if they had seen something funny.

" When I came out of hiding, everyone was dying or dead, and I was left alone. It was lonely, so lonely, I didn't have anyone to keep me company, neither a way to contact anyone or leave, my home was going to be my grave, and I was sad, so sad."

"But then I found father, he was agonizing, asking for relief, but I thought- what if i sewed him up instead? His wounds would close, and he would surely be okay, right? But father didn't like that, he screamed and cried and then slept, leaving me all alone again." The alien let out a few tears, patting the Princess' dolls head like she was a puppy, and Lance struggled to keep his vision steady, everything was growing blurry.

"But we were good at making dolls- I was good too, I only needed practice, and soon I found a way to keep everyone safe, to have them by my side again, and I made dolls- so many dolls, everyone was okay again, and I wasn't lonely anymore." They let out a small giggle.

"This one's my favorite, you know? I was so cute when I was young- I see through her eyes, feel through her skin, talk through her mouth- she is me, and I am her. Wasn't I pretty? I know I was, and my world is pretty too, and colorful, and lovely. But nothing ever happens, and then you showed up and oh- you would make such pretty dolls, another friend to add to my collection!" Lance fought to understand what she was saying, but although he pieced together some parts of her story, his mind was becoming muddled fast, and he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"My father and the others will be so happy, you'll see. You and your friend will keep us company, won't you?" Lance gurgled, then spat the blood on the floor.

"W-what- we just c-came here to help-why are you- d-doing this..." The one that he now knew was the Princess blinked, her child-like eyes growing darker until not a shadow of her innocence was left, being replaced instead by a darkness that felt as deep as it felt scornful.

"Help? Help? Where was your Princess when the Galra tore my city apart and dismembered everyone!? When was she when they killed my baby brother and tore my sister's head from her body!? Where was she when the city was decimated and everything burst into flames?! " She gripped him by the hair, making him whimper, seething in anger, hands trembling as they tugged at him with force.

" Help? Help? You are five thousand years late to help!" She threw him to the ground, and he watched in a stupor, pained and wheezing, as a look of confusion crossed her features, her stance changing to a more refined, curled one, like she was trying to look smaller, younger...

"Ah help...some people came to help, once, but then they wanted to leave when they saw my dolls....I realized that, if I wanted people to never leave my side again, the best way was for them to become dolls too, then they wouldn't feel pain or get hungry or anything! And we could all be happy together!" She giggled again, and Lance finally understood the state she was in, trapped in a past long gone, the madness of an abandoned lonely child, her fantasy of a happy home surrounded by her loved ones, made into puppets by her own hands, speaking the words she wanted to hear, inhabiting a replica of the body she once possessed.

A fake world moved by the strings she controlled. Denying reality, a pitiful fate.

It was heartbreaking- it was horrible.

"It will hurt a little, at first, but do not worry, the poison my blade has will take care to destroy your insides so I can empty you clean." Lance startled, shaking in both fear and pain, feeling the burn that was slowly traveling from his feet and up, now reaching his stomach. The Princess kneeled down and brushed her hands against his cheek, he could do nothing to bat her away.

"You will be so pretty, I just know so, we can be best friends, I'll even make sure to color your skin so you don't end up grey like the others." She laughed again, childish, soft. Evil without malice was terrifying, she was nothing but a kid inside her own mind, and her innocence, twisted by death and solitude, had turned her into a monster that had no salvation.

A searing pain in his chest made Lance curl into a ball, his hands clenching his neck, eyes wide as he fought for breath, the fire in his gut becoming an inferno, unbearable, agonizing. He couldn't breath through the intense sting that seemed to run through his bloodstream, and his vision was all but gone now, making his panic escalate, the world around him nothing but darkness.

The ground was cold, and it seemed to seep into his bones, making him shiver and tremble. He was so cold...but the pain was a furnace inside his chest, he couldn't breathe.

He didn't want to die here, didn't want to become one of the flesh dolls, eternally manipulated by a manic mad child. But he could do nothing about it. He just prayed that Keith had somehow gotten away and ran back home for help, that the effects of the potion hadn't hurt him anymore, he hoped that...he..was....okay...

He closed his eyes, and his hands fell, boneless, to the ground. The noises around him were distorted and faint, and he was pretty sure he stopped breathing at some point, but he was sure he heard a voice he recognized, and that there were the sounds of fighting and metal clashing; screams of anger and words that didn't register on Lance's mind.

And then, everything became still.

He thought he'd finally died, but then something touched him, carefully, slowly, arms sneaked around his back and legs and cradled him against something soft and warm, and another thing, cold and small, began slowly dripping down his cheeks, one at the time.

A hand brushed his hair away from his forehead, and another patted his cheek, he thought he heard a call of his name said in desperation, and struggled to open his eyes and see, although even his lashes hurt -just like every part of his body- but he fought the pain, and the burn, and eventually managed to squint to the shadow above.

He saw purple; purple eyes, purple skin, purple ears....a scar on the right cheek and black hair in a hideous mullet- it was definitely his best friend, although more colorful than normal.

He was okay, he was okay. He was alive and- and fine. Mostly.

Lance could have cried, if he'd had the energy to do so. But it seemed Keith was already doing it for him, small droplets of salt water dripping down his cheeks and chin, falling on Lance's own and his nose, making him shiver. His head lolled to the side.

Besides his friend, there lay the mangled body of the Princess, and through the hole on her chest, metal and wood peeked out, and he understood; she'd turned herself into a doll, too, to survive for such a long time. All around, the strings that had connected to her were lax, some of then completely broken or severed, shrouding the place in a deathly silence that gave him goosebumps.

He couldn't feel them, neither his body. Just the pain.

"Lance, Lance! Say something, please! God, you idiot, why did you come here? You should have just left me and look for help!" He saw Keith's hand go to his chest, but Lance couldn't feel it. "Shit- it won't stop bleeding, god, there's so much blood, you need- I need to get you home-" Home...yeah, that sounded good, that sounded great...

"Hey! Hey, no! Don't you dare close your eyes you hear me!?" Keith stood up, jostling him slightly, and Lance saw stars and felt his insides churn and melt, like he'd swallowed lava. "Shit, sorry, sorry! Don't sleep okay? I'm running back home, I'm gonna get you help, but you need to stay awake!" He thought he nodded, but he couldn't be sure. His eyes were failing again, and more often that not, blood would make him choke on his own breaths, and he would cough it up and drench both himself and Keith in it.

On one such time, he couldn't seem to regain his breathing or stop the blood from clogging his throat, and, to the sound of Keith's panicked fading voice, he felt the world dissolve and turn to dust, and his consciousness alongside it.

A whirring sound woke him up, back against something soft, warmth tucking him in and arms around his middle, holding him close to a warm chest, heartbeat like a lullaby that threatened to get him back to sleep. The arms tightened on his back, cuddling him closer, and Lance sighed in happiness, feeling safe and comfortable, his chest no longer hurting and his breathing no longer a struggle.

"Mmmh..." Someone sighed by his side, and Lance felt hair tickling his nose, making him sniff and whine, burrowing his head even closer to the softness holding him. He thought he heard a snap, then a clicking sound, and his mind became slighty more awake, automatically opening his eyes and glaring in the direction of the sound, an automated response.

"Awwww, look at them Hunk! I need to take like a thousand photos of this, they're going to be soooo embarrassed when they see this-" Even though everything was fuzzy and blurry, Lance recognized Pidge's and Hunk's forms, and knew he was back home at the Atlas, inside a healing bed. Looking to the side he could see that it was Keith holding him, with purple splotches on his skin that were rapidly fading away, looking content and relaxed as he lay besides him.

Lance continued to glare in Pidge's general direction. "Uh...I highly doubt that, Pidge. And you might want to- you know, hide your camera before Lance smashes it to bits." He saw Pidge turn and groan, hiding something on her back, but Lance just snorted and snuggled more against Keith, all the while maintaining eye contact, willing to make her either uncomfortable with watching, or so flabbergasted she left.

"Shame is not a word in my vocabulary, Pidgeon, you should know that. Besides, Keith is, like, my brother slash best friend, and I used to cuddle a lot with my brothers and sisters and Hunk back home, so this really doesnt matter to me." He heard Hunk give testimony to that, remembering their times at the Garrison. "I'm used to cuddle piles, and I greatly enjoy it, so if you don't mind, I'm going to get back to that." Pidge groaned and Hunk cooed.

"Aww, that's so cute. Keith was really worried about you, you know? Wouldn't even go into another bed, said he had to make sure you were okay. He was pretty out of it, saying he had to keep you safe, that it was his turn. In the end we let him because he wouldn't rest otherwise, he was all purple too, Allura nearly had a heart attack." Lance chuckled, imagining the face the Princess did when she saw Keith, then saw Pidge snap more photos and shooed hear away.

" Vaish, vaish, go away Pidge, I don't care how many photos you take -they might even tempt people to join the coalition, seeing how cute and cuddly we are- but, you're going to wake up Keith at this rate, and then he'll be all grumpy, so, shoo." Pidge laughed at him, but eventually listened to his demands, Hunk following after her as soon as he'd squeezed Lance within an inch of his life, gifting him with one of his brightest smiles.

He waited until he saw sure they were completely gone before he turned to Keith.

"Sooo....how long did you plan on feigning sleep?" No answer. Keith didn't move, didn't even twitch. Lance smirked. " I know you're awake, Keith, you can't fool me, c'mon." Still nothing, Lance's smirk widened and he chuckled darkly. "Well, if that's how you want t play." Lance plastered himself to Keith's chest, sneaking his hands around his waist before going up, up, up until he reached his back, then he burrowed them under his armpits and began to tickle.

For a tick, nothing happened. Then one of his eyebrows twitched, his mouth tilted slightly up, he scrunched his nose and small high pitched noises left his sealed lips. Lance tickled with even more force, among his siblings, he was feared for his skills, nobody could win against him, his fingers moved with dexterity and purpose, striking the weak points.

A small gasp. And then Keith burst out laughing.

"Ahahaha- s-stop, aha-hahaha, L-Lance!" He listened to him, smiling at the giggles coming from his friend and the small tremors raking his body, tears on the corner of his eyes.

"So, how long were you planing on faking sleep?" Keith sighed and frowned a bit, looking sheepish and hesitant.

"Until Pidge left and you woke up and followed, or until there was no one here." From this close, it looked like Keith's cheeks were tinted pink, and Lance rose an eyebrow, wondering.

"Was it because of the camera? Are you...embarrased?" Keith shook his head.

"It's just...when I came back from Karakuri with you, there was this...voice in my head, it told me to stay by your side, keep you safe and stuff. Even though we were back home and no one would hurt you here, the need to stay wouldn't leave. I remember refusing to go on a healing bed unless it was with you, and the others....well, they tried to convince me, but it didn't work. In the end they stuffed both of us together and called it a day." Lance laughed, smiling softly at his friend.

"So, you were embarrassed." Keith pouted, averting his gaze as his cheeks became even more red.

"....A bit." Lance understood his uneasiness, to some extent, but he really didn't have anything to be ashamed of, he was who he was, and there was nothing wrong with him.

"I'm sure that was just your Galra side acting up there. Instincts are very strong on Galra, and they are protective of their family aren't they? It's a good thing." Keith still looked doubtful, but eventually nodded his head, wiggling around under the blankets.

"Thanks, Lance, for....for saving my life, and for what you did back there." He jolted, remembering the events with a tightness on his stomach that filled him with dread.

"It's nothing, you would have done the same for me, yeah? Besides, I told Pidge already, you're like a brother to me, so of course I wouldn't abandon my family." Keith's eyes widened, and he bit his lip, eyes looking anywhere but at him.

"Do you....do you really mean that?" Lance laughed again, squeezing the life out of his friend while he answered.

"Of course I do, idiot. I mean, we argue about every little thing- but in a good natured way, and we always make up when we really fight, we annoy each other but got the other's back always, we've lived together for years, shared a room, a bed, food, a shower; we've been chastised by Shiro and allura, worked together to prank both of them- then took the brunt of their fury like a team- Yeah, we're pretty much brothers already, dude." Keith smiled again, and his arms finally squeezed Lance back, chuckles leaving his lips as Lance tried to rub his cold feet on Keith's ankles to annoy him.

"That's...nice, besides Shiro, I never had a brother, and it'll be cool to have...." Keith smirked, and Lance stared at him in confusion."...a younger brother." Lance screamed, outraged, his hands going to ruffle the other's hair, fighting to get on top of him. "C'mon Lance, I'm three years older, there's nothing you can do about that!" Lance continued his onslaught, shrieking like he'd been wronged, trying all his tickle tactics while he refuted the other's statements.

"That's not true! you're only one year older than me!"

"I'm not! I spent two years on the back of a space whale in an interdimensional rift, remember?!"

"Those don't count! It was just a few weeks for us! That time didn't pass for us!"

"But it did for me! So I'm three years older, deal with it, little brother!"

They continued bickering and wrestling inside the bed, tickling and fighting as they both laughed and made a mess of things, a feat that Allura would surely yell at them for later. Unbeknownst to them, from behind the slightly ajar door, Pidge continued to snap photos with her camera, and stored them in the folder titled 'Family pictures', a soft smile lighting up her features as she walked away.

The last thing she heard as she left, was the echo of Keith's voice asking a question and Lance's laugh following after, happy and bright and lively.

"Hey Lance, does this count as another bonding moment?"

#october writting challenge #promptober #lance mcclain #keith kogane #platonic klance #they are best friends #gen #genfic #VLD #vld fanfiction #vld fanfic #vld fic #lance pov #violence #horror #spoopy #my fics #friendship

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vehlika-pelican · 7 years

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possible warning for long post! and #rvb season 15 spoilers maybe "Happy birthday, Isaac. Daddy sure does love his little big man." -Horizon: Zero Dawn dont let the quote fool you, this is about Lavernius Tucker and Michael J Caboose. Caboose totally thinks of Tucker as his dad. After Junior was born Tucker had was obvious a father, right, but Caboose tends to confuse things that get even slighty complicated. So Tucker being a dad became Tucker Is A Dad became Tucker-Dad - whose dad? a dad has to be someone's dad. my dad? ...my dad- became Dad Tucker and finally just (Dad) Tucker. These two are the only original BGC blues left after (a year each season? 15 years?!???) all these years and they've clearly developed a strong friendship especially in recent seasons but in Caboose's mind I think it's more than that. Caboose's opinion on Tucker never seems to really stick because while he was initially competing for Church's attention, Tucker has proven himself to be a consistent and caring presence in his life unlike Church and even Wash. Tucker's still mean to him but it lacks the disdain and heat from earlier, and at this point when Caboose says he doesn't like Tucker its just reflex from so many years and for Caboose adaptation is hard. When Caboose was reassigned the new Blue Team didn't know how to handle him and he killed/hurt a bunch of them so they locked him up. Jones still got killed but I think thats getting into the darker side of Caboose of which no one in fandom speaks. (we should tho I think Miles Luna said he was a nearly unhinged murderer or something? and thats terrifying based on what we know but it could...get worse?) Caboose listens to Tucker when he knows its important and Tucker cares about Caboose. When Epsilon!Tex was kicking their asses and Tucker told Caboose to help him, he immediately did. But even before that he saved him without being prompted. When fighting the Meta, Tucker ordered him to stay away and to "try not to kill, [Epsilon] on accident" and Caboose just said "okay!" even though, strength-wise, Caboose could have physically fought Maine on more even footing than anyone else. Whether Caboose has the martial arts knowledge to have a Fight Scene is debatable I think, but its a clear indicator that Tucker doesn't want him to potentially get hurt regardless. After being without a team at Valhalla, there is no way Caboose didn't stick to Tucker's side (and Wash's) and try to make up for lost time. He tried to build himself a friend (a body for Epsilon) because he was lonely. He got Sarge and Grif to help him find Tucker because he was lonely. He wanted Tucker around. If he didn't, he could have just stayed in his base with Donut as his "prisoner" or have tried to play with the Reds. Instead he went and found his friend (and still got Epsilon a body and got two friends). He probably spent days living on top of Tucker and literally sleeping on top of him so he couldn't get reassigned in a dream and leave or something because Caboose is like that. Caboose didn't want to end up somewhere they'd just lock him up again (and i'm willing to bet they mistreated him a bit as revenge) and don't know how to handle him. He probably had nightmares and Tucker had to pull double duty comforting Caboose when he was dealing with Wash too. Tucker would warm up milk and put a big marshmellow in it (because he found out the hard way that the little ones can be a choking hazard for Caboose), wrapped him in a weighted blanket, and talk with him until he fell asleep, calling him Mikey and petting his hair. Tucker knows how to care for Caboose as his friend but I think also as a psuedo-parent. GoodDad!Tucker tried to be the best father he could for Junior, and a key skill parents have to have is patience. Caboose requires patience not just because he can be obnoxious but also because words, especially difficult concepts, and strong emotions can overwhelm him. Omega scarred and damaged his brain and he progressively worsened over time (i know the writers said it was for comedic effect). He doesn't understand things and needs them explained many, many, many times. If he doesn't get closure (mostly from Church's dissappearences apparently) he sinks into depression and tries to distract himself with busy work (trying to build a body for Epsilon, digging through rubble to unleash a mechanical pet that he spent a lot of time "training" and making a tiny sombrero for). When Wash semi-fixes his helmet, Tucker is the one to fix his visor which begs the question, how did Tucker know how to do that when I-built-a-capture-unit-Wash couldn't figure it out? Answer: because he's done it before. Tucker is the one that explains thing for him, who helps him remember to do what he would forget. Caboose likes routine- he likes when things go back to being the way they are (at a given moment). I would bet money that Tucker has a routine for Caboose to follow every morning and every night. A specific step-by-step deal: wake up, brush you teeth, try not to kill anyone while you're brushing you teeth, change from pjs into clothes, no you can't wear your pjs under your suit you'll over-heat, etc. Caboose knows it so well muscle memory does most of it for him so he doesnt get lost in remembering a step and if he does Tucker knows- Tucker is ancient. Too old to be Church's best friend- that's me. So after years together Tucker has to have developed the patience of a saint but also a method of caring for his big, slow friend who just needs a little help sometimes. and that's something Caboose will have noticed. Caboose is clumsy and breaks things. His helmet is high on the list of things he could break, and given his refusal to change helmets, it must have been very old and required maintainence for visor upgrades or seal re-fittings or what have you. Alpha!Church was terrible at most things involving hand eye coordination and at being an AI so he wouldn't have been much help, and Caboose has/had (is it still a thing?) a rivalry with Lopez so only Tucker was left as an option. and much like a parent sewing up their kid's torn stuffed animal as the kid sniffled by their side, so too did Tucker repair Caboose's helmet. Tucker tries to give advice as the self-proclaimed "love doctor"- as enbarassingly as any parent asking you "whats the haps" or "w-t-f. why the face" (dad!tucker for me is a lot like phil dunphy). Tucker's word is law. In a "while you live in my house you live by my rules" sort of way, what he says goes. Stay where its safe and dont get shot. Dont shoot me or anybody else this early in the morning. Yes, fine, we can keep the ex-Freelancer but you're walking him and cleaning any wet stains in the carpet and if i find any hairballs i swear to god. (if Freckles didn't have guns he'd've been all over that). and Caboose acts like a teen who says "i hate you" but means "i love you" instead. When Tucker nags him now its probably "take the pills Grey gave you" or "dont run around the pool" and "run AROUND the pool damn it, its on FIRE! NO NOT THE SLIDE ITS PLASTIC AND FULL OF FUMES" and "put your crayons away AND wash your hands and you'll maybe find a cookie on you plate dude" like. Tucker has clearly come to care so much for Caboose, especially in s15 i swear imma cry. Tucker has even been more consistent in his behavior than Wash. Carolina rolled on in and Wash stepped back in line with her for a while, scaring the RedsandBlues. Even separated on Chorus, Tucker was with him. Tucker was by Caboose and on his side the entire time. Tucker was reassigned to the desert and had to go. Even when Omega!Caboose was threatening him, Tucker didn't leave Blue Base. Tucker has never abandoned or left Caboose by his own volition. Tucker looks out for him physically, mentally, and emotionally. Tucker is who Caboose turns to when he wants permission for a pet, to fix the boo-boo on his helmet, and to comfort him when he's feeling low. Caboose realizes it on some deeply buried level that Tucker ISN'T his actual dad but has assumed a father-like role, and remained steadfast and loyal while in that role just by caring about Caboose. so in his head whenever he addresses him his mind goes, (Dad), but his mouth says, Tucker. Wash is Team Dad but Tucker is The Dad on the team. i have so many feelings. do my boys justice. where all the fics at? more caboose/tucker friendship and family fics for 2017 please. tucker taking care of caboose. caboose appreciating and loving tucker. please. even just brotherly-fluff. im deprived. i swear i start these intending to make a paragraph and instead write a fic outline.

#vehl's headcannons #lavernius tucker #michael j. caboose #rvb #rvb15 spoilers #no really spoilers but just in case?#please i love my boys so much #and they want to be loved

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vehlika-pelican · 7 years

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warning for long post! i always get my best ideas at night when im on mobile and cant do a read-more. sorry. blacklist "vehl's headcannons" to stop seeing my stuff. no rvb season 15 spoilers i dont think. me3 is like 5 years old now so im not tagging it as spoilers for any of the games. OKAY, RVB X MASS EFFECT TRILOGY CROSSOVER ( mostly ME 1 because its been two hours since i started writing this post now and oh shit) #TuckerFightsARobotArmy is gonna be the tag for this and the inevitable sequel posts at first i thought, with default Femshep being a badass red-head that would make our local badass red-head Carolina the obvious choice for the role but it occurred to me that she would make a better Miranda Lawson than Commander Shepard. The Director is The Illussive Man (Tim). Aside from the daddy issues, Miranda is a big supporter of Tim's until she finally sees his dark side and resigns during the end of ME 2 just like Carolina was a staunch believer in the Director until she had to face the music. The Freelancers are involved in Project Phoenix and ultimately its every man for himself when the Director starts indoctrinating/reaperfying troops. She gets assigned to the Normandy SR-2 just before the agents make their escape and she's left out of the loop and feeling betrayed. She carries that well into hunting the Collectors and her loyalty mission involves maybe saving York and getting answers. Carolina goes into hiding just like Miranda during ME3, trying to take down her former employer and his organization on her own until she needs help. Thats where our best dudes come in. but then if she's taking the place of Miranda, who could be Shepard? let's start with the Reds. Sarge is too...Sarge. Maybe he could take Admiral Hackett's place as Admiral Colonel Sarge because obviously (everyone knows he's crazy but going from enlisted man to fleet admiral makes him a legend, and he really earned a name for himself during the First Contact War. that name was legally changed to Colonel.) Grif would be Joker, so our esteemed pilot/vehicle operator who's all back-talk and bitching. Simmons is where it gets tricky. Simmons could be an engineer, possibly a quarian, who got prosthetic limbs from when he temporarily served with Sarge on a joint human-quarian deployment and became enamored with the freedom to experiment in the Alliance opposed to the strict policies in the Migrant Fleet and sought to return to his service by trying to kiss ass. but i also like him as EDI because of the proximity to Grif and how they would develop that friendship leading up to Joker's Mission when Grif unshackles Simmons to save the Normandy in ME 2. i also kind of like krogan!Grif, and you know the two of them would have the greatest time messing with the Alliance's engineers during the retrofits. then when Simmons gets a body in ME3 he tries to get a faux-skin to look human but there's a problem and its missing in places on the left side and Grif decides to tell people he's just got some prosthetics from an accident. all shiny and chrome on the fury road. Donut is Kelly Chambers. trained in psychology but rarely clinical, loving all the species, somehow spreading a space-dog STD around the ship, a bit too naive if pretty gung-ho about the mission but give him a belt of lift grenades and hot damn we're in business. Lopez is the AI who robbed the bank? embezelled money? (ME 1) and threatened to detonate a nuclear bomb inside a shopping center but actually managed to buy and download himself into a ship and set sail for sweet robot freedom in the Persius Veil. he was caught by Sarge and officially "destroyed" when he's really locked in a Rampart mech with AI shackles that force him to aid Sarge in his crazy science endeavors. he refuses to speak anything other than spanish out of spite even when he genuinely needs assistance. now the Blues. Washington will have been with Cerberus until about the beginning of ME3 which is when Tim starts indoctrinating troops and members of Project Phoenix take their chances so thats too late to start trying to save the galaxy from the Reaper threat. Caboose takes the place of David (i might be getting the name wrong), an autistic savant who can communicate with a race of alien AI (the quarian-made geth) and is unwillingly mentally linked to the geth for an unknown period of time by his own brother (one of his sisters then? my poor boy imsorry). This would cause the neural trauma/scarring resulting in Caboose being... more Caboose. but he isn't found until sometime in ME2 by Shepard and co. Freckles is the mad AI who goes rogue on Luna (not EDI or part of Simmons in this au) but ends up being befriended by Caboose. he inhabits an Atlas/Titan mech and together they're unstoppable. Tex is an attempt to recreate Allison as an AI inside a cloned body made by the Director during the early stages of his madness. now she's taking Ashley's place as a trigger happy space racist, a double agent inside the Alliance and on Tucker's squad. Church almost dates her but something...feels off...and instead spends his time fighting with her because it feels...familiar? like when he used to argue with his mom when she was alive. huh. Kaikaina and Grif petitioned to serve together so she's on the squad as an infilitrator of all things. she and Wrex commiserate over the story of how she stole a krogan warlord's biotic hammer and she tramatizes Grif by flirting with his 800-pound ass. (not that it goes anywhere. Wrex thinks humans are too squishy.) which leaves...Tucker. because who else. Commander Shepard took the responsibility of proving the existence and defeating the Reapers only because they happened to be at Eden Prime when the prothean beacon was to be recovered. it could have been anyone caught in the beacon- Ashley or Kaidan or any other marine- and that person would have tried to do the same. Tucker in RVB isnt so much chosen to be the savior of an alien race (Doc said he was but that was more Junior) as he gets caught in a bunch of shit that went down in ways he was not expecting when he interacted with an ancient alien artifact thank you very much. so he's on the Normandy SR-1 because he's an N7-in-training or outright failed to get past N1 (which is still impressive because he was considered and thats not easy criteria to meet. let my man be a badass space marine. just a little bit. badass-in-training. HE'LL GET THERE.) but is noticed for his potential and is to be evaluated by turian!/salarian!Felix for Spectre candidacy. the first human Spectre. he's a biotic, i can't decide between adept and vanguard. Tucker and Grif are Totally On To the mission's importance because "spectre's(Felix) dont come along for shake-down runs" in their new experiental human-turian ship and they arrive at Eden Prime mid-attack. Tucker and his squad try to clear a path to the beacon while Felix scouts ahead. but then they find his body and eyewitnesses say it was someone he knew by name that shot him once he let his guard down and his back was turned. "Locus" they say. supposedly leading the assault with an army of heretic-geth and a massive ship emitting a terrible sound. they fight to the beacon, disable bombs along the way, and find it just as Locus's ship departs. as the squad's engineer is scanning it, Tucker notices they're starting to levitate and rushes in to grab them and throw them aside only to get caught himself. he gets the prothean vision-warning about the Reapers and maybe a special prothean omni-blade and its on. he has to prove to the Citadel Council that their Spectre Locus is a traitor and that the Reapers are real but visions? galactic extinction cycles? oh you humans are so full of it. you've been part of the galactic community for 30 years and now you're here with a conspiracy theory at best? i cant believe we thought you could work for us. blah. Tucker marches off but meets Church who's been trying to take Locus down from within the system to no avail. Alpha!Church is the Director's son but Allison got custody after the divorce and now he's a grouchy C-Sec cop getting nowhere real quick. Tucker invites him along and he's a shitty sniper but actually pretty decent with the Mako's cannon considering it handles like a drunk krogan who can do a flip it you drive off the cliff edge fast enough (what are mass effect booster jets for?). they track down a krogan mercenary (Wrex is probably still Wrex. because who could hope to live up to him?) and fight through a strip club and kill Fist and rescue a quarian (Palomo? make that Jensen) with evidence proving Locus is guilty. then they save Dr. Emily Grey and help her keep her small clinic in the wards from being shut down and she gives them sweet discounts and all the free medigel they can shove into their pockets. they rescue asari!Doc from inside a prothean ruin (got lost on a yoga retreat and panicked when geth started attacking...i guess he could be an archeologist but maybe they drag Grey along for the ride instead...) but he's developed a split personality due to how long he's been alone in there and its kinda murderous but coupled with biotics its pretty useful. (and yes, asari are mono-gendered and are all "female" but ME: Andromeda confirmed that some asari use masculine pronouns/identify as "male" and there's no way that wasn't a thing in ME 1 canon so Doc is he/him). on Virmire, he almost shoots Tex AND Wrex on the beach- put down your shotguns you fucking lunatics i will biotically throw you into the ocean! he helped Wrex get his family armor so Tucker manages to talk him down but man Tex could you chill its been months already. he has to leave Tex behind though to protect the bomb while he and Wrex save Kaikaina and Kirahee and fight Locus. they evacuate and the bomb detonates and atleast it was instantaneous. she wouldn't have felt herself be vaporized, it was quick and we stopped Locus from getting an army of krogan. Church is devastated and knowing that Tucker leaving Tex behind was a conscious choice splinters their friendship. but. Tucker has to finish this. its bullshit and why us. why'd it have to be us on this ship in this life shewasmyfriendtoo- but its a race against the clock to the lost relay and Ilos and theres no time to have a real talk. its complete bullshit. they get to Ilos but Locus is ahead of them and they have to fight so many geth and find a 50,000 year old message which only Tucker can understand but fuck this we're being left in Locus' dust openthisstupid templedoor*swish* oh shit this things a fucking key "guess we didnt have to fight all them robots" he said stepping over the mountain of slain robots because fuck my life. Wrex how'd you live so long life fucking sucks. "i've been drunk for a lot of it" great. yup. can the Mako go any faster. and then they meet Vigil but dont record it because they're still idiots who forget/dont mind the details until Simmons shows up in the sequel you morons but hey remember THAT CHASE WE WERE IN LETSGO and they drive the Mako into a relay and if Tucker made sure to crash into a geth colossus no one says anything- and they fly out into the Presidium Commons like if the Mako had wings but itfuckingdoesnt and why are there even jets on this tank. Locus and Sovereign beat them to the Citadel and the arms are closed but Hal-9000 over there is just chillin' on the Citadel Tower like he's shishing the kebab himself. then gravity goes off and they fight sideways all the way up the tower and those turrets sure are being turrets you know and not differentiating between us and the assholes ahead of us. but they finally make it and stop Locus short of the apocalypse. Tucker goes all renegade Locus was just afraid, the Reapers put his life in persepective and we are all so small and insignificant, "is servitude not preferable to extinction?" you're just a puppet, they're using you because you're weak, because you let them, do yourself a favor-! but Locus claims its too late and they fight and kill him. but he rises anyway. the fight the first and only Possessed Marauder- Sovereign controlig Locus' corpse through implants. he was mostly implants. and once its ash ashashashes Tex didnt even get to be ashes its unfa- and Sarge is over the comm, open the Citadel's arms son so the Alliance can save the day and Tucker has a choice. save the Council and sacrifice thousands of soldiers. or kill the Reaper and worry about new leadership later. its Tex again. worse. i need to think, theres no time, you know what this thing can do you saw in the vision i believe you so what do we do. make the call. and Tucker needs the Council's support...but the Reaper needs to be killed...but saving the Council will cost too much...but the Reaper could still call the others from dark space...they'll trust me... will the new ones? will the Alliance? Anyone? no. but someone will definitely be alive. kill Sovereign. the Council dies. the Destiny Ascention is destroyed. the Alliance suffers minimal loses. humanity fills the vacuum of power. humanity is no longer trusted. they blame him. he does too. have any of his choices been good enough? right? much of the crew goes their own way. Church goes back to C-Sec. maybe he'll call. Wrex returns to Tuchanka, faith in his people restored. Doc joins Grey at her small clinic. Jensen returns to the Migrant Fleet with geth data. and Tucker and the rest are... disgraced. no one says but they dont have to. every breath is a reminder of his failures and what he did. so much potential in him once, they say. he could have been great. instead he did this. and they fight geth. chase geth. fight more. they head to Alchera. more geth, they said. it isnt. the ship is blown apart. Kaikaina shoves anyone who cant walk into the escape pods. The XO is killed almost immediately. Grif won't leave. Tucker, please, Dex! Get Dex! she yells as she's dragged into an escape pod by a Yeoman and he storms over because he wont lose anyone else but the hull is gone and you can't run in mag boots. Grif is fighting for Normandy. Tucker can hear him asking for just a little more just enough to- to- but Tucker's having none of it and pulls and heaves and forces his idiot pilot into the pod. of all the times Grif chose to be the opposite of lazy. a streak of yellow catches his eye and its coming this way and he pushes off and hits the launch button but the engines blow and he hits something as he is set adrift. he's losing air. fuck, its- its behind him. he panics and scrambles for the puncture but his arms are geting heavier and he's already wheezing short little breaths shortlittlefailures youfailedyoukilledthem youkilledher. the sun in the distance is bright. he can feel his body tilt toward the planet, sees the sunlight cresting over the horizon. his vision goes dark around the edges. but the sun is bright and he doesnt notice he isnt afraid and he falls *maniacal laughter* someone should have stopped me. i think its super out of character but this is a rambling monster and not meant to go super in-depth or anything. god help me.

#vehl's headcannons #TuckerFightsARobotArmy #lavernius tucker #rvb #mass effect

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