#i dont think people are going to expect the thing im doing in chapter 4 and that's EXCITING to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cupoftaae · 11 months

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Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ sunrise in versailles (part 2) (chapter 14)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 7k (pretty long 4 me!)

warnings- this chapter was really emotional for me to write, theres content warnings that go beyond the usual. If you are sensitive to certain topics and feel that reading stories triggers you, please don't read this. beside from that, theres swearing, smut, drinking, angst. this is a long one.....pls dont hate me after this

a/n- Hi sweethearts ahhh ive been slacking with my content and I apologize, i am working on a drabble/oneshot for you guys and its pretty long, I tend to get distracted easily so its taking longer than expected, hate to neglect my current story. Hope u enjoy! -Nini

"go stand over there"

You embarrassingly looked back at your boyfriend, his large camera in his hand as he pointed you over to a statue

"noo"

"just do it, cmon you look cute" he smiled and teasingly pushed you over before holding his camera up. "smile"

You fixed your hair and your hat, smiling brightly as taehyung took your photo. "You look beautiful" he chuckled, reviewing the picture. "definitely the prettiest artwork here"

"shut up" you nudged him, hiding your face in his chest before you began walking around the museum again.

Your hands were locked in together, eyes widening at every amazing piece of art you came across. "you know....I wouldnt be surprised if one day your paintings were in here"

"you think?" he smiled, amused

"mhm, no doubt."

He kissed your temple, hand now resting on the small of your back before weaving your way through a small crowd.

"I am already thinking of my next piece, you know?"

You raised an eyebrow, giggling "yeah? what is it?"

Taehyung laughed, spinning around to look back at you, "thats for me to know and you to find out"

"oh here we go..." you roll your eyes, laughing at the boys antics.

You had to admit, so far things were perfect. The only thing you had to focus on was Taehyung and Paris, to say you were content was an understatement.

"so...I was thinkingggg" he dragged out his words, eyes glancing to you as you walked into a room full of naked statues

"yes?"

"tonight. dinner, you and me, La Veranda's"

You blush, circling around the exhibit "am I supposed to know what La Veranda's is?"

Taehyung circles and meets you around one of the statues, a cheeky smile apparent. "La Veranda, its a restaurant not too far from the hotel. my treat"

"hmm" you took one of his hands "sound fun to me"

"just because im paying?"

"no!" you giggle, tapping his shoulder "I wanna have fun with you, it sounds good, even if Im not the biggest fan of french cuisine."

"oh we will have fun alright"

"okay bye" you jokingly turned away and walked into another room, small laughs heard behind you as taehyung caught up. "Im teasing, yes it sounds really good, thank you angel" you pressed a peck to his cheek, hands entwining once more.

"mm" he groaned, not satisfied with such a small kiss, his other hand tilting your head back to meet his lips.

"ever had Museum sex?"

"are you like permanently horny?" you giggled, pushing away and making sure no one heard.

"well yes, and so are you, so shut up" he smirked, "and sex isnt taboo here, Paris is like the sex symbol of all countries"

"No one has ever said that"

"theres nude beaches!"

"taehyung thats just Europe, people here are comfortable with themselves" you giggle, shrugging.

"okay but imagine going to a beach, nude, in Korea"

"I dont wanna imagine it, because it doesn't sound appealing. Here or there"

He laughs, taking a picture of a large painting in front of you, "im just saying...."

"saying that its okay to be horny in Versailles?"

"exactlyyy" he finger pointed before linking arms with you. "ready?"

You nod, smiling as you two exit what has to be your 4th museum of the day. You werent expecting this to be as fun as it was, perhaps it was taehyung who made it 10x more enjoyable.

"are you gonna get mad if I grab a beer over there?" he pointed to a small pub that stood along the open street of stores and bakeries, the smell was unimaginably good.

"my love you don't have to be sober just because I am, of course you can grab a drink" you explained, walking across the street with him.

He sighed, "ok but I feel bad, you cant even have coffee?"

"nope" you smile sadly, fidgeting with his hand as you sat in line with him.

His eyes looked around the area until it landed on a bakery, "ok well after this, I'll go over and grab you a hot chocolate and croissant"

"how incredibly french" you giggled, laying your head against his shoulder

"oui" he spoke, beginning to laugh

"oh I didnt know you spoke french" you tease

"theres a lot you dont know, Madam" he spoke in an accent, pulling his wallet out to pay for his beer

Once you two settled, you caught a cab over to Tuileries Garden, where surprisingly there was not many people around. You both sat down on chairs and embraced the warm welcoming sunshine that pressed against your skin.

"shouldve brought sunscreen huh?" you whisper, looking over at taehyung

"mm...I dont burn"

"you said that last summer when we went to the beach with your friends, you cam home looking like a lobster." You hid a giggle, watching him with loving eyes

"nooo" he blushed "that was only that one time, im fine"

"if you say so" you yawned, leaning down in the recliner as you looked up at the sky, beautiful trees surrounding the small hidden area you were in.

Paris was such a stimulating place to be, your mind could be draped away from all the hell youve been stressing out with, for once you felt like you were just living, is this how normal people felt?

Part of you wished this would never end, that you and Taehyung would plant your feet in the ground of this very spot and grow old together in one of the most romantic places in the world. Maybe it was the hot chocolate you had earlier, but this place had healing properties.

Taehyungs eyes stayed glued to your body as you laid, unaware.

He was unable to help the smile that stuck to his face, seeing his best friend, the love of his life, finally look at peace brought a great sense of comfort to him. You looked so beautiful, and he wanted to capture every moment with you for himself. He was greedy, and didnt care.

Without saying anything, he pulled his camera out of his bag and began taking photos of you

"what are you doing?" you giggled, blushing

"youre so pretty, baby" he walked over to your chair, propping himself up at the end of it.

"dont take photos of me right now please" you pout, hiding your face as he comes up and lightly hovers you

"when will you just let me love you, hm?" his voice was soft, humor within it.

"I just dont want my photo taken" you look up at him

"these are for me, no one else." he pressed a kiss to your neck, whispering "I want to just remember everything we do together"

You smiled at his sweetness, a hand coming up to tangle into his hair as you pressed a kiss to his lips, he quickly reciprocated, a small chuckle.

With a swift movement, he got up and pulled you with him, encouraging you to hold onto his back.

"what if I hurt you?" you blush

"youre not gonna, now cmon" he smiled, holding your legs as you climbed to his back. He began walking around as your arms draped around his shoulders, head resting against them.

"taehyung" you hummed, fingers delicatley tracing his shirt

"hm?"

"promise me we will come back here?"

He chuckled, "baby, its our first day-"

"I mean...like...later in life. promise that we will still find time for us?"

He sighed at your words, "of course we will, are you worried that we wont?"

"well, with the baby and stuff...I dont know I guess." you close your eyes "I just dont want things to change"

A sad smile appeared on his face, "things have to change, and they are most definitely going to for us." he paused "doesnt mean its a bad change, not all things are bad, my love....its part of life"

You nodded, kissing his nape gently. "I just love you so much, and I dont want anything to happen to us."

"why do you think something will happen? im here for you, now, tomorrow, next month and forever. you cant ditch me" he smiled.

"I dont know..." you blushed, leaning your head back down as taehyung piggybacked you through the small trail.

There was more you wanted to say, but you had not wanted to worry him. Despite things going well right now, you anticipated the fall, you anticipated when all of this happiness and euphoric excitement would disappear...because it always did. Life was a little too good to be true.

its like you knew something bad was coming, and all you can do is wait.

Taehyung was sitting on the bed, waiting for you to exit the bathroom so you both could head to dinner. He nervously adjusted his shirt, he could laugh at how silly he felt, it was like he was a high schooler getting ready for prom or something.

He couldnt explain why, but he had the urge to just spoil you, impress you in anyway he knew how.

His own mind had been plaguing him for a while now, that perhaps once the baby arrives, you will realize hes not fit for it, and leave.

So here he was, offering every limb he had to bend over backwards for anything you wanted. Taehyung would give up everything just to keep you, and he hoped you saw it.

"okay, tell me what you think of this one" you exited the bathroom finally, after changing your outfit for the 4th time

He swallowed harshly, his eyes shooting over every part of you

"is it bad?" you whispered, blushing as your hands trailed over the sickly black cocktail dress....definitely something out of your comfort zone, but you bought it before the trip as a surprise for taehyung, you knew he liked to see you wear things like that.

"you look..." he mentally told himself to stop acting creepy "absolutely gorgeous"

You blushed once more, pushing your hair back as you walked closer to him. He couldnt deny the fact that the dress hugged every inch of your skin perfectly, your cleavage was definitely something he'd have to remind himself to not oggle at out in public, he was a gentleman after all...

"you think..?"

He nodded, his cheeks red as he pulled you closer to him, hands resting on your hips before running over your bump, "my love, are you trying to kill me?"

You giggle softly, pressing your hands over his as he looked up at you "you look really handsome, baby" you bit your lip

"thank you but....look at you, god"

You giggle once more, gently sitting on his lap as he kissed your neck and collar bones, "oh and you smell good?" his nose inhaled the scent of your skin, a sense of desire coursing through you at his touch. "people are gonna see us out in public and wonder what a pretty girl like you is doing with me" he teased, mouth kissing over your low chest line.

"taehyung" you whisper, hands gently stopping him. "If we dont leave now I dont think we will be able to stop ourselves"

He laughed, "im sorry y/n, youre right." he gently stood, holding your hand, "stand here for me" he pointed to in front of the mirror as he grabbed his camera and stood behind you, his free hand on your bump as he captured the reflection.

"lets go, sweet girl" he pecked your lips before heading out the hotel room with you.

You didnt know it yet, but tonight would be one of the best nights youve had in your life.

"I am most certainly not eating snail...knock yourself out" you laughed, passing over the plate to your boyfriend who eagerly took a piece and sniffed it

"its escargo, to be technical" he corrected, popping it in his mouth and nodding.

"same thing, thats so gross" you whisper, looking away

The atmosphere of the restaurant was quiet and peaceful, it was late now and so the beautiful string lights hung up on the outdoor patio illuminated the area.

"for real though, how is the food?" he smiled, taking a sip of his wine.

"its so good, I am not usually one for french food but this...this is good" you pointed down at your Gratin d’aubergine, which, in simpler terms is just grilled eggplant with melted cheese and tomato sauce, topped with chopped veggies.

Taehyung originally encouraged you to get the same he got, which was the shellfish dish, until you reminded him that pregnant women shouldnt have shellfish.

"how do you know all of this already?" he teased, taking a bite of his food as the candle light in front of you lit up the table.

"lotttts of research, mostly anxiety driven" you chuckle, looking back at him.

He smiled shyly, wiping his mouth and looking at the view of the city, sky now blanketing darkness.

"what are you thinking about?" you rested your head on the palm of your hand

"dunno" he smirked, "just..how you are already doing so good with everything...like you have it all figured out"

You giggle, "you think I have i figured out?"

"well I mean, you know all this stuff about the baby and, here I was, about to feed you fish like an idiot" he exhaled

"hey.." you reached out to hold his hand over the table, soft eyes in his direction. "I dont have a choice, its my body and I need to know how to protect it and shit" you add, "youre not an idiot for not knowing something baby, you are doing so well" you whisper

He blushed and rubbed his thumb against your joined hands, "im really scared"

"and thats perfectly okay...we have time to get comfy before anything happens. I mean, look, you already cleared your room so we could store all the baby stuff in there, you know what your doing my love, im scared too, and im so glad you told me"

"everything happened so quick I feel like I was thrown into a role that I know nothing about. Im excited, like...really excited, but im so worried of messing up" he admits

"hey, messing up is part of life, we all have our ups and downs. we will not be the first parents to probably have a mistake here and there, and we most certainly wont be the last either." your voice was quiet, "and plus...the fact that you even care right now is more than enough."

He nodded gently, squeezing your hand as the waitress came over and asked for our ideas on dessert, you spoke to her as taehyung watched, his eyes tracing every inch of you carefully, so desperatley wishing he could climb into your mind and figure out everything you ever wanted, so he could provide that to you.

The way your hand naturally fell over your stomach as you spoke to the woman made him smile, you were already a great mother, and he only prayed he would fulfill the dad role. He wondered in that moment how your own dad could leave you when you were young. The feelings taehyung has for you but not only your child that isnt even born yet is so incredibly strong, he could never in a million years imagine trading it for some other thing that passes along.

And he assumed you had reservations about taehyung possibly being like your dad, given that your times with men growing up always failed you, he wanted to prove that he was the best. Taehyung was the best. Perhaps it was cocky thinking, but he truly knew you inside and out like no other, even before romantic feelings became involved.

He knows that you like to sleep on the right side of the bed, always, no matter what.

He knows that you have 2 cups of hot coffee every morning, then an iced in the afternoon, and he knows that its always that french vanilla creamer you use as well.

He even knows your showering routine, wash and condition hair, shave, scrub body and rinse, but you always stay in there for an extra 20 minutes as your Spotify shuffles songs.

Hell...he even knows when your damn period is. He downloaded the app for you!

The man knows what you are, who you are, and highly doubts anyone else can do the job.

Your foot gently nudged against his ankle underneath the table, a small smirk on your face brought him back to reality.

"footsies in the french restaurant?" he asked, faking shock

A small giggle escaped your lips, "I ordered dessert"

"hm?"

"creme caramel...I dont know if you are a fan or not-"

"that sounds delicious" he smiled, reaching over to grab your hands as he admired you

"you have a tendency to stare, you know?"

He smiled shyly, "sorry, i'll stop"

"no its cute...I just get embarrassed" you spoke

"embarrassed of what? we've known each other forever and pretty girl still gets shy...."

You hid your face, cheeks bright pink "well yeah....because you look at me like that"

"like what?"

"like you are thinking of not appropriate things" you said matter of factly, looking back at him

"thats cause I am" he smirked, foot rubbing against your calve

You darted your eyes down to the beige table cloth, that familiar arousal sitting in the center of your stomach as you bit your lip amusingly.

He opened his mouth to speak but stopped once the waitress placed the desserts on the table, your eyes grew wide like a little girl in a candy shop unsupervised.

"wait dont dig in yet, I wanna picture" you mumble, pulling your phone out and snapping it

"now whos the one whos photographing everything?"

You giggle, "Stop, dont tell me that doesn't look delicious.."

his eyes looked at you as you put your phone in your purse, "it does"

Once you began eating, you both awed over how flavorful it was, wishing that you knew how to bake better so you could replicate such desserts back in Korea.

"annie bakes" he teased

"do not bring her name up here!" you nudged him, "I dont care if she bakes food, you know what else she bakes? drama! a whole lot of it!" you smile, shaking your head as you went in for another bite

"I know" he nods, drinking his water "we really dont have friends huh?"

"nope" you laughed, looking at him as you sucked on the fork, "we have each other though"

"you're not sick of me yet?" he tilted his head, humor within his voice

"never.."

You guys spent the rest of the night talking and bringing up funny stories and memories as you finished dessert. You do admit that having a glass or two of wine would have been enjoyable, but you could get buzzed of taehyung alone. As you two left the restaurant, it began to rain slightly

"oh shit, I didn't bring jackets" he frowned, standing at the entry of the door as you both watch the rain fall, the pace and heaviness picking up. He wanted to see if there was any stores close so you could grab an umbrella or coverings, but t was already 10pm, so most places were closed for the night.

"we dont need em!" you giggle, running down the steps and into the rain, hair beginning to dampen.

He looked at you in shock for a moment before running after you, a gleam in his eyes as you grabbed his hand, running down the sidewalk together.

"wait!" you laugh, holding onto his shoulder as you lean forward to untie your heel laces, sliding the shoes off and holding them so you could begin to run again.

It was just like a movie, you felt so much joy in that moment that you didnt even care you were soaked, the fullness feeling in your stomach from how much you ate now an afterthought.

The wide street was empty, most people ran indoors for cover while you pulled him close, he gasped softly and kissed you, rain beginning to pick up even more so.

You laughed against his lips, "i love you"

"I love you too" he spun you around before beginning to run again, at this point, both of you were drenched without a care in the world.

"im having so much fun!" you yell over the loud ambience of the water pouring, he squeezed your hand and nodded, keeping up with your pace "me too!"

It was like you both had transported back to the age of 14, when there were a few times you both would run home after school in the rain.

He hasnt seen you so happy in so long, he didnt want this to end.

"baby we should call a cab!" you lean into his ear, moving damp hair out of your face

"mm" he nodded, ignoring what you said, standing under an overhead of a closed building as he pulled you closer, lips connecting again.

Your arms draped over his shoulders as you quite literally made out in public. If someone saw, you didnt care.

His lips attacked that sensitive spot on your neck, making you gasp softly, eyes fluttering shut before hands grabbed onto his shirt.

"l-lets go back to the room" you managed to mutter, lips on his once more as your tongues met.

when in France, you french kiss, right?

"good idea" he mumbled against your mouth before reluctantly pulling away to grab his phone that luckily was tucked safely in his dry bag.

He called a taxi and waited with you until it arrived.

Climbing into the backseat, you quickly told the driver the address to the hotel and paid him in advance, shutting the door behind you.

The driver nodded and began to drive, the dark atmosphere of the car only tempted taehyung more so, his hand climbing to your inner thigh as you kissed in the back seat, your own hands roaming over him as well.

You were compelled to press sweet kisses all over the boys face, noticing even in the dark, that your lipstick made its marks.

It felt like it took forever to get back, but he was the first one out, almost dragging you out the cab behind him.

You made sure to thank the driver again as you rushed inside, the two of you giggling like little kids while running through the lobby.

"where the key?" you whisper in the elevator, hands digging into his bag

"bottom pocket, left side zipper" he looked down, watching you find it and take it out.

Wandering the hall, you both shushed eachother "we are being way too loud" you whisper, giggling at his sarcastic face as he pulled you into the doorway of your room.

"i dont care" he shrugged, pulling you in and shutting the door.

The room's AC was on, goosebumps quickly scattering over your skin as you exhaled, a smile on your face as you followed him over to the bed.

Taehyung smiled as well, dropping his back and shoes in the corner of the room before slowly coming over, leaning down to kiss you again. "mm...you still taste like caramel"

You giggled, "baby look in the mirror" you pointed him away as he caught a glance of his reflection, your lipstick marks covering his cheeks, nose, forehead and lips. "jesus christ" he mumbled, smirking

"what did you do to me?" he teased, coming back to the bed as you laughed, holding your stomach. "oh its funny?" he giggled, gently crawling over you and shutting you up with another kiss, which deepened quickly.

"yknow..." he began "took a lot in me to not touch you at that resteraunt"

His confession made you blush, your hands already working on unbuttoning his white shirt, now completely drenched in rain. "yeah?"

"mm" he kissed your neck, sucking on the skin as he assisted you by taking his own shirt off, tossing it somewhere off the bed.

"very respectful.." you mumble, now trying to undo his pants, eyes connected to his.

"you dont even realize how fucking sexy you are" he spoke, tossing away his pants as well before he was left in just his boxers...now it was his turn to begin to undress you.

The soft, beige pale light illuminated the room, glowing on taehyungs tan skin, something that you noticed quickly. "im not that sexy" you blush, his hand slowly and gently pushing the straps of your dress off your shoulders, so careful, almost as if he would break you.

"oh but you are, baby...god look at you"

He pulled down the dress, taking it off of you and being more gentle when he put it away, knowing it was expensive. His eyes widened at your red lingerie you had on beneath, the lace catching his attention. "is this for me?" he giggled, "so honored" he kissed you deeply before trailing his lips to your neck and chest.

You blushed again as you watched him make his way down to your stomach, stopping for a moment to press kisses all over your bump. You know he saw the stretch marks, something you had grown self conscious about, but he didn't say anything, instead he continued to touch you like glass, moving in ways that brought you love and comfort. "dont take the bra off, I wanna watch you cum in it"

You felt your body heat up at his sudden vulgar words, "o-okay" you whispered, glancing back down at him as he tried to move closer to your center. His hands gently pried open your thighs more, lips attaching to the inner skin quickly."wait...baby" you exhale, making him stop.

"hm?"

"You dont need to do that, im ready, just please...." you hated how needy you sounded, but it was true. You didnt need him to do anything extra other than just make love to you, you were desperate for that connection, desperate for the intimacy and close faces.

"are you sure...?" he seemed confused, eyebrows raised as his hand lightly grazed over your clothed slit, thumb slightly pressing onto your clit making you gasp

"yeah...uh, yeah, im sure" you mumble, shyly.

He smirked, pressed one last kiss to your navel before crawling back up to your face, his hands fidgeted with his own boxers before sliding them off, his cock erect as he stroked himself a few times.

You watched, biting your lip before taking off your own underwear, his gaze on your lower half making you smile.

"oh wow, you are ready" he whispered, two of his fingers gently gliding through your slick, making you whimper,

"please...just, dont tease...." you mumble, arms thrown over his shoulders "I need you so bad"

"i know baby, I know" he leaned down to kiss you when he felt a tear drop from your eye. "did I do something wrong?" he immediately pulled away "what happened my love?"

You shook your head, "I just love you" you were embarrassed again, but didnt care about being vulnerable "dont go" you whisper

Taehyung was a little confused, but chose to simply wipe your eyes, pressing a delicate kiss to your lips as he grasped your hand, "im...im not going anywhere...you have me, im here, forever okay?" he spoke close to your ear. "I love you so much"

"I love you...." you looked at him with sad eyes, obviously more to the emotions than just hormones. "do you want to stop?" he questioned softly

"no, please no"

"okay" he exhaled, kissing you again when you pulled him closer, chests touching.

He dragged his cock through your folds, gathering wetness before beginning to press in. No matter how many times you both have done it, he checked up to your face, "are you okay?"

You gasped at the intrusion, waiting until he bottomed out to speak, "yes....oh.." you laid your head back against the pillow as he carefully grasped a hand on your hip bone, the other entwined with your fingers. Taehyungs head found its cozy spot between your shoulder and ear, kissing the skin as he set a gentle and slow-ish pace, making sure you were okay with it.

Its you, youre you, and he couldnt ask for anything better because it simply doesnt exist. He restrained any instinct to just ruin you and go quicker, knowing that in this moment going slow was what you both needed

"you feel so good" his voice was raspy, any confidence he had was now out the window as he pushed deeper inside, your velvety walls soaking up every inch of his cock perfectly.

"baby..." you moan, eyes closed. It was just maybe one of the prettiest sounds he had ever heard, you were like an angel. How is it possible for one woman to be so perfect in every way?

He felt your fingers dig deeper into his back, your lower body squirming slightly. "here...." he whispered, bunching up a blanket and putting it under you so he could hit a different angle.

When he continued thrusting, you arched your back at the contact. Whatever he was looking for, mission success.

"ahh-...baby, please" you whimper, mouth falling open as your moans filled the hotel room, the sounds of sweaty bodies moving against each other filling your ears.

"so pretty for me huh? always so beautiful, my girl" his voice echoed through your body, mindlessly filling your senses and bringing you out of the earth.

He moved up a bit, pressing his elbows on either side of your head as he leaned down, your faces nearly touching as you cupped his cheeks. "I love you so much, fuck, you treat me so well...." your eyes closed in pleasure, taehyung watching you unravel beneath him was such a pretty sight.

His hand snaked down between your bodies and eagerly rubbed your clit, an entirely different pace from the slow one he used to thrust you into the mattress.

"taehyung!" you tossed your head back, clawing at his skin as you tried your best to keep your moans in. Taehyung dove down to kiss your cleavage, licking a stripe between your breasts.

It took a few more times of his dick dragging into your g-spot before he had you cumming. You moaned into his shoulder, for a moment you believed you would pass out from what might have been the best orgasm you ever had. You definitely loved any sex with Taehyung, but slow and sensual always did it the best for you.

"can you hold out a lil longer baby?" he panted into your neck, continuing to move despite your sensitivity.

"yes..." you spoke, breathless as you grabbed into his hair, kissing his skin as he chased his high.

"ah f-fuck" he groaned, halting his movements as he spilled into you "god baby, i....fuck" Tae whimpered

you immediately pulled him closer to lay on your chest, "love you..."

"love you" he held your hand, both of you catching your breath from what just happened.

"that was really nice" his voice made you open your eyes, looking at him

"it was.." you couldn't help but smile as you watched him begin to pull out, you could feel his semen leaking between your legs. "maybe we should shower..." you giggled tiredly.

After you both cleaned up, you tossed on a new set of bra and underwear, getting back into the comfy bedsheets before he came out of the bathroom not too long after, a new pair of boxers around him.

"dont come into the bed with wet hair, you freak" you joke, watching him smile as he whips his head around like a dog, the water splattering all over the room.

"thanks..." you groan, sinking down further under the covers as he shuts the light off.

"you're so welcome" he climbed under the bedsheets and held you close to him, his gentle smooth skin brushing against yours. "today was really fun"

You smiled, holding him as well. "it was, thank you for everything...like seriously"

He gazed at you lovingly, his hand playing with your semi-damp hair. "you dont have to thank me, you know....I just"

wanna give you my world

"wanna make you happy"

You smiled, tracing his face with your fingers, "i already am"

"yeah?"

"mm" you leaned forward to kiss him, he still tasted like toothpaste after just brushing his teeth but you didnt care.

Once you fell asleep in his arms, he covered you both up more with the blanket as he kissed your temple, "my girl" he whispered, closing his eyes before drifting off.

The next morning

It was still raining, but that didnt stop taehyung from waking up early and heading out while you still laid in bed, sleeping peacfully.

He wanted to surprise you

Taehyung politely spoke to the florist, explaining what he wanted as she went to prepare the flowers for him. He smiled and leaned against the window, watching how the rain gathered in small puddles on the side of the street, car tires splashing into them.

"here you go Monsieur"

He turned to see the bouquet of purple and pink flowers, tied together beautifully with a teal ribbon

"ah! Merci!" he bowed his head, handing her the cash before he exited back to the hotel. He stopped in the lobby and found his way to the food court, which was rather full of business men and women eating breakfast. He smiled, passing by the tables until reaching the large pick and choose food area.

He knew you liked fruit, so he grabbed a Styrofoam container and began putting them into it.

that was your number one craving at the moment, strawberries, so he packed extra, along with a small bagel.

There was no occasion for his sudden desire to show you love, he just felt like it, and thought that maybe you had been dealing with some negative thoughts after seeing your behavior the day prior.

The goal wasnt to get you to talk to him, more so an act of saying "hey, im always here, love you" and shit.

He gathered everything up, including a hot tea, as he got into the elevator. He was nervous of dropping something, mentally praising that your room number wasnt far from where the elevator dropped off.

Placing the container and tea on the floor, he pulled out the key card and opened the door, quickly grabbing them again and walking in. A quick scan of his eyes traced the room to confirm you werent in the small kitchen area.

"whew.." he smiled, putting the flowers and food down onto the counter as he took his shoes off, hanging up his coat that was still wet from the rain.

"baby?" he whispered, walking over to the bedroom.

You werent in bed, and he frowned, looking around as to see where you might be.

"y/n?" he called out softly

When there was no response he frowned, finally walking more into the room and seeing that the bathroom light was on, door closed.

"ah..there you are" he nodded, deciding that he had time to go back out to the kitchen space and set up his little gifts.

He placed a note he wrote to you inside the flowers, opening the fruit up and placing them nicely together. He smiled knowing you would probably yell at him for going and doing this despite there being no occasion.

You hated when he made a fuss about silly things, but thats who taehyung was.

He eagerly sat down at the table and waited for you, anticipating the moment you walk out, however after about 15 minutes he began to get impatient.

Walking back into the room to see that you were still in the bathroom slightly concerned him, "hey..." he spoke up, knocking on the door. "baby? you okay? im back"

there was no response

"you in there?" he asked again, voice louder as he knocked once more. He placed his ear to the door and listened for any signs you were on the other side, a clearing of your throat confirming it for him.

"baby open the door why arent you answering me?" he smiled, "are you mad I left without telling you? I promise it was for a good reason, come on out my love...."

He heard slow shuffling and then heard the door unlock, allowing his access to enter.

He slowly opened the door, pushing on the handle to see you sitting on the floor, back against the tub. You were crying, face red and eyes swollen.

Taehyung quickly entered panic mod "w-whats wrong?" he kneeled in front of you, grabbing your hands as you sobbed, tears soaking your shirt. "y/n please! what happened!!"

You struggled to catch your breath as you closed your eyes, taehyung holding your face in his hands. "I need you to talk to me...please, breathe, explain whats happening so I can help!"

His nerves were growing quickly each moment you remained silent.

With a hiccup, you opened your eyes and spoke, voice trembling.

"i lost the baby..."

you managed to speak before beginning to sob again.

Taehyungs hands fell from your face, his expression changing as he went pale. "what...you what?" he whispered, eyes on you. It wasnt until then when you moved your legs that he noticed that your underwear had been stained with blood, and the towel on the side of the toilet was too.

"oh....oh baby" he whispered, immediately pulling you into his chest as he cried. He felt like he was no longer in his own body at this point, as if this wasn't happening and he was watching it from afar.

Bad things like this dont happen to people like you.

"oh im so sorry my love" he held you tightly as loud sobs wrecked your frame "oh....I dont know what to do, are you...are you sure? we dont know....?" his voice trembled heavily as he gained courage to look back at you

You shook your head, voice quiet, "I just know...I just know" you cried as you looked down to see the blood everywhere, Taehyung quickly pulling you back into his arms. "im so sorry, baby...oh my god im so fucking sorry honey" his hand cradled your head as he slightly swayed back and forth.

He felt helpless, completely defenseless as you sat there in his arms sobbing. What could he possibly do or say to save you from this? how do you go from being on top of the world to falling overnight? its not fair.

"i-i tried to call" you choked out, your hands trembling.

He feels like the worlds biggest fucking loser.

"ah....angel....I left my phone here didnt I? baby...." he cried, trying to hold you again but you pulled back, wincing as your back rested against the wall. "y/n im so sorry, I dont even know what to do..."

You closed your eyes, chest growing tight with grief. "I wanted it so badly" you whispered, "I wanted it.....i really did I promise" you cry

"I know you did baby, I know you did! I wanted it too y/n" he couldnt stand seeing you like this, knowing the amount of pain you were feeling made him physically ill.

"taehyung im sorry" you covered your face before wrapping your arms around yourself defensively, "I dont....I dont know what happened...I woke up and felt sick....I threw up and then started cramping, I thought I was fine but then I saw blood and it just...." you sobbed, banging your fist against the wall "fuck!"

"dont you dare apologize, this isnt your fault, you hear me?" he got close, grabbing your hand "this is not our fault."

"I wanted it" you repeat, hand rubbing over your stomach sadly, still not processing that this was over before it even started. "mommy is sorry...." you whisper

Taehyung feels his heart break into five million pieces, he swallows harshly and wipes his eyes. "you did everything right...I promise....sometimes these things happen, and God, i am so sorry my love, so, so, sorry...." he rubbed your leg.

"i was so excited....I was just accepting it and....its over...its not fair!!" you look at him desperately, knowing theres nothing neither of you can do.

"I know....hey, I know..." he soothed you, his own stomach churning at the sight in front of him. "I shouldnt have left....Im sorry baby" he cried, leaning forward to rest his head on your small bump, tears falling against your skin.

You both stayed like that for a while, taehyung sat up after a bit, red eyes looking at you as you sat, your expression was blank.

You stopped crying. you were absently looking at the wall.

"y/n" he whispered, hand holding your cheek to bring attention back to him

"hm?" your eyes slowly traced back, looking at taehyung.

"l-let me clean you up....get in bed and rest, okay?"

You dont respond, instead you let him carefully strip you from your clothing, watching as he cleaned you with wet towels. He was silently crying while doing so.

He figured you were too tired to get in the bath, so he used a few facecloths and wet wipes to make sure you were clean.

He grabbed a shirt and pants, helping you get dressed as you remained still like a doll.

There was nothing to say.

You lost your baby.

no amount of crying or screaming would return it to you.

Taehyung tossed the towels and dirty clothes aside, standing up and reaching down to help you up as well.

Your body shook as you did so, hands and legs trembling as he held you, whispering "I know....I know....." he kissed your forehead before carrying you out to the room, laying you on the bed. He then noticed the dried blood spot from earlier on the mattress.

He sighed and covered it with the pillows as you sat on the opposite side, blankets being brought up over your body.

He didnt know what to say, so he simply walked back into the bathroom to clean the floor.

He wanted to vomit, the grief struck into his chest was too much for him and as he wiped up blood and dirty laundry, he wept.

You laid in bed, body sore and head pounding. You couldnt sleep, so you didnt try. Your eyes just stayed looking up at the ceiling, silently asking God why this happened to you. You watched taehyung quietly walk out of the bathroom, he made his way to the kitchen without saying a word.

He tossed the laundry in a bin, stopping for a moment while he was alone, breathing shakily.

He looked over at the gifts he set up prior to the incident. The fruit was now turning rotten from being left out in the air. He blew his nose before going and throwing the container away.

The guilt in his chest will eat him alive for the rest of his life.

He should have been here.

Yeah, he may not have been able to stop it, but he couldve sat you through it....

instead, you sat alone and confused on the floor as it happened, trying to call him over and over again.

He exhaled as he grabbed his phone that sat on the counter since early this morning, opening the texts.

my love: hey....where r u? - 6:23am

he frowned, scrolling down

my love : baby please come home, where did u go? - 6:27am

One missed call from "My Love" - 6:30am

He teared up as he read them

My love: taehyung... something is wrong with the baby I think.. please hurry I dont feel good, im scared - 6:38am

He tossed down his phone and took a deep breath before peaking back to the bedroom, he slowly walked in and spoke

"are you okay?"

He knew it was a dumb question, obviously you weren't okay, and wont be for a long time.

You shrugged, watching him before he climbed into the bed beside you.

Your arms welcomed your boyfriend, pulling him closer as he laid his head in your chest. "are you in pain?"

You shook your head, too exhausted to use words.

"can I do anything?" he sniffed, looking at you sadly

You shook your head once more, unable to look down at his face, instead, focusing your eyes at the wall across the room.

Taehyung gave up, settling to just lay and hold and cry and comfort you for however long you needed.

His mind raced back to the night he held you in this exact way, when you admitted you were pregnant.

Same scared feeling, different emotions, different outcome.

What scared him the most is that he really, truly, doesn't know if they will bounce back after this.

Something so.....traumatic.

You missed out on so many adventures and its not fair. No gender reveal, no feeling the baby kicks, no painting the nursery, nothing.....no baby.

It was like you wheel of fortune had been blocked off, now you sat in the road with no ways to turn, no where to go, nothing to say.

How do people move on from this?

They dont.

a/n: sorry....

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

#bts fanfic #bts #bts smut #bts fluff #kim taehyung #taehyung #kim taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfic #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #bts angst #open requests #writing requests #request prompts #long reads #reading #x reader #kim taehyung series

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rollercoasterwords · 9 months

Note

hi i would like to rant to u if thats okay because i saw ur rant u wrote like 6 days ago and it just kinda made me think so i hope u don't mind.

i love writing. i always have and when im writing i always get excited, except then i started posting on the internet. at first i got some attention which actually pushed me to write more and then i wrote this fanfic that blew up and got a lot of attention which dont get me wrong was GREAT like im proud of it, but it also changed my perception of writing

all of a sudden this silly little thing i wrote was now something people were talking about with their friends and reccomending and that was great but it made me feel different about my own work. it changed how i percieved writing, and more often than not i catch myself writing for them, not for me.

recently i started writing this fic that made me giggle and kick my feet while writing it. i wrote it SO fast because i could not get enough of it, and then i started publishing and it didn't get much attention. i've had other fics that didnt get attention before and it was like meh, but after the work i wrote that blew up, it felt like my fics NEEDED to become popular to be good, which is like,,, shit

and whenever i posted a chapter of my new fic or talked about it, i'd get comments on my fic asking about my popular one, if i'll make a second one ect.

it made me lose interest in my story because i'd gotton hooked on others approval and i didn't want to write something they weren't interested in, because then they wouldn't read it and it would all be for nothing.

i forgot the original reason i started writing. for me. and its been so hard to try and just get back into that headspace of writing for me and not others because of the attention i'd gotton from my previous stories.like how i felt now that i had a fair few followers i owed them stories THEY wanted to read.

i'm not sure how to get back into writing for myself, because i don't want to delete my works or stop posting, because i do enjoy it when people say nice things and help my motivation, but at the same time it also makes me feel like i have to write what they want and not what i want, because if i write it and they dont like it ive failed

anyway thats my little rant, i dont know if u even understand what im talking about but it was nice to get off my chest

thank you <3

no i feel u i can def relate 2 a lot of that experience! it can be a weird experience 2 have a fic go viral & it is definitely not always entirely positive. honestly think the only reason i've escaped a lot of the harassment + hate i've seen directed towards other people who have had fics go viral is that my fic that went viral was a rewrite of someone else's story, so most of the discourse remains centered around the original story + writer which honestly. feels like i managed 2 dodge a bullet lmao

but i can def relate 2 the sudden pressure of abruptly finding urself in a situation where tons of people are reading something u were just casually writing 4 fun, and suddenly feeling like u need 2 meet certain demands or live up 2 expectations. honestly feeling this pressure to keep up w those expectations led to some burnout 4 me last fall/winter, which is why i stopped posting for a few months. and like obviously i can't say what would be most helpful 4 u--that's something u kinda have 2 figure out 4 urself--but i do know that for myself + for some other writer friends who i've talked to, taking a break from posting can be really helpful in like...reframing ur mindset. i think getting some distance from the constant expectations + demands + feedback can help sort of clear the air and strips away both that pressure + that attention + sort of makes it easier 2 focus on writing just to write for urself. 4 me it helped me figure out that while i do love sharing my writing + getting nice comments + messages + talking 2 people abt it etc, that's just icing on the cake, and writing still brings me a lot of joy even without any attention. and once i was able to like...center that attitude + ground my writing in personal enjoyment rather than the online attention economy, it made me feel steadier abt coming back + posting again, and also helped get rid of some of the anxiety of meeting people's expectations, bc i realized that at the end of the day i genuinely don't really care if someone dislikes my story so much that they need to stop reading it; in fact, i think it's better for everyone involved if someone who feels like they're not getting what they want from my story goes and looks for what they want somewhere else! it's not a failure on my part to sufficiently like...entertain an audience or provide a product, because that's not what i'm trying to do in the first place, y'know? and i think that shift in mindset helped a lot, and continues to help when i start 2 feel that pressure again from posting my writing online. it's counterintuitive at first bc i think we're all sort of conditioned to think there's no point to making art unless you're making it for an audience, but once u realize that The Audience is not the be all end all of creating art, i think it makes the process of creation a lot more freeing + fun.

anyway hope u are able 2 navigate the weirdness that can come with sharing ur writing online + find a way 2 write that brings u the most joy!!

#ask

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narwhalandchill · 2 months

Text

ok misc stream thoughts!!!

ANYWAY livestream over nice 30 pulls of aventurine funds for anni!!!! they didnt do anything insane but honestly it was kinda cope to expect them to, ratio for free was clearly a more of a spontaneous move and hes available throughout anniversary anyway so the "another 5*" were.... a little over the top im sorry wjkjwdjkwdjk altho i wouldnt have complained obviously. a free himeko or sth couldve been on theme for the cosmodussy event but eh cant be helped

im actually glad for the skippability of the reruns 😭😭 like i have luocha n jingliu (+ LC for latter) so by skipping acheron for now im gonna have a nice time getting aventurine and most likely his LC (2/3 of his 4* LC selection is so sad tho), love that fucker hope he gets to do proper mayhem in story too. cool death talk please dont actually die yourself for real for real tho i will be sad. like i do think its based of aventurine to pull off a stunt that appears to be what we in the business might call a certified chapter 5 komaeda moment but. ahahaha nooo dont actually die youre such a funny hat man .

(also sick boss form is sick but . bootleg FL im sorry aventurine. they hit perfection already and theyre never fucking topping the galaxy cape cyclops eye beak mask drip i swear JSWJWJDKWJKDWJK but also yes me biased? in favor of that ginger? i could never)

but it seems ill have a solid time getting aventurine and saving up for now??? since i dont think im too interested in robin or boothill either. i was kinda worried topaz' rerun would be in 2.1 for IPC antics with aventurine bc i am kinda curious abt pulling for her but now its gonna be 2.2 at the earliest so. Phew

the stream ran a bit too long lmao but like overall i tend to like the dev discussions so most of it was still neat, altho downside of dev streams is that not knowing chinese i cant just like. afk and listen on headphones and go get water or something 💀💀 and they were definitely dragging stuff out on purpose no way they werent but eh. people will live its just bideo game livestream. and like these folks do hard work on the game they can yap about what they do sometimes its only right lmao

leakers public shaming session was definitely a jumpscare but i do genuinely empathize w shaoji on that one. like. ive always been one for kit + banner leaks first and foremost and story leaks just. i dont care for them much. ive had my share of looking at them occasionally but i definitely agree with the way story leaks either by themselves or when misconstrued and misinterpreted really fucking mess with the intended experience for any given story and how that must feel like shit for the writers. like if story leaks stopped happening altogether id be perfectly content. and thats just ppl who look at story leaks on purpose cuz. im not going to even begin w how like. yes the leaks subreddits and most big leakers do spoiler warnings and keep the story stuff spoilered. but then theres literally the entire rest of the internet where shit gets spread untagged and without warnings the second they are posted anywhere at all and how that fucking ruins peoples experiences. like its 1 thing to click at a spoiler tagged post knowingly and get ur experience messed up with. but when u dont even want to see it its rly fucking bad and i v well understand condemning all story leaks (even those properly flagged) just on that basis alone. but yeah actually felt bad for him there and see where he was coming from for sure, even as a consumer of leaks

ok well that sure was a wall of text. didnt expect to write that much JWJKWJKDDWJK but ya

Anyway. biggest priority is holding strong w skipping acheron as sick as her animations are but def looking forward to her teaser and the animated short. like . even with the black swan dykery. (that was a fucking jumpscare too). i dont need her rn. despite how cool she is 😭😭

& also have to say im v happy they clarified their stance on hi3rd references like. the way theyre going abt it is absolutely how it should be going. hsr by nature is more directly linked to hi3rd like honkai is in the name but its such a dumbass idea (like some fan takes out there....) to want the stories of hsr depend on another games lore. rewarding old fans with easter eggs and tidbits is perfectly fine and im even interested in seeing where they go with acherons obvious raiden situation - especially knowing theyre not about to ruin their own story with "it was hi3rd all along!" (not that i ever rly thought theyd seriously blunder that bad lmao 💀) . so yea thats neat

i think story wise im not gonna say much of my thoughts bc unfortunately i have clicked on like. a leak or four. not the major stuff i dont think but enough that commenting on stuff w some of the things im aware of in the periphery is going to tint stuff . but im still excited to see where things go!!!

AAND OH. ACTUALLY i do have one more thing . so the multiple POV thing being actually implemented is SOOOO good im so fucking happy theyre committing to it being a thing 😭😭😭 like SO many story pitfalls can be avoided by just letting it be that TB doesnt need to be fucking everywhere a major thing happens as the centerpiece of events so we as players can see it. like it gives a way of showing different events and sides of characters in a much more natural manner its sooo good that theyre implementing it already. like this alone has me in such high hopes for the story going forward. like yea theyve branched from our POV before already and in penacony as well but expanding on it even more is 100% the correct way forward

last thing: god they did jingliu so dirty in her concert illustration. WHAT is she wearing 💀💀💀anyway yeah lesgo 2.1 its cool

i lied real last thing: siobhan . siobhan i would do anything---

#i have no clue who to get from the 4* selector also. my hanya is e4 now so no need to get that. yukong e6? but i havent rly built her at all #ig i could still get her but w the way i have sparkle and ruan mei and bronya and the 4* harmonies built already its. ehh #gallagher is the new unit so i might just get him for collection purposes but i dont think ill rly have much use for him #guinaifen eidolons??? shes e2 now and e4 is the good one for energy so it could be a step on the way #ill need to build her for burn dmg for kafka against fire + lightning weak eventually anyway. now shes just debuffer ult spam build #anyway. neat stream now i need to eat the stream was long and then i wrote this djjkdjkwdjkdjkdwkj #rambles #hsr #long post

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draconixiaa · 4 months

Text

tired but i'll do a bit of this (will be a bit rambly:D)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24,, wow not bad

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

165.5k wow thats a lot,, most of it comes from one tho; everything else are shortfics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

DSMP and ive just started a bit of genshin at the behest of my Tartaglia-obsessed irl and he's kinda cool but like for 95% of my other fics its all cdream ahahahhh(dies)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

"Consequences" tops the charts obviously bc its my one and only longfic and it was written during the peak of dsmp and man id link it bc i love my storyline (cdream obviously gets messed up in prison but then gets a healing arc) there but at the same time i feel like the writing had too many grammar mistakes and could be better so nahh

"North Star to Freedom" is one im actually really proud of, like obviously the writing could be better bc ive improved, but i just like it and id deffo rewrite it too if i had time or steal it into an original fic (premise is that cdream escapes prison with the rebibe book and oh lord my lingo anyways (spoilers) he dies and he gives techno book)

"Persevere" is third, wow that's a long time ago, its alright, i like it in general, but it feels almost cheesy. idk. i like it, but i dont like it. its not mixed feelings, but eh. anyways, something about cdream getting captured by the egg which is about to take over the world but he sacrifices himself to cleanse it. the most acute thing i rember about it is that its a 3parter

"Coup de Grace" ok wth i didnt expect this to be on there it was a small little cdream suffering in prison and cphil comes over, sees him in pain, and cough relieves him of it, and i dont like the writing in a specific part of it, but i like it in some other parts, so eh

"turn the claret tides" whoops i forgot what this one was about ok i glanced through the doc its ctechno getting cdream out of prison wow that title was really vague but he gets the letter and things went on.. it was inspired by another fic and happened during the hype of the prison arc which is kinda cool

(man im looking at the amount of fics i want to rewrite but it aint happening sadge)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, most of the times nowadays, if it particularly made my day or it has something deep and insightful or literally makes any observation on my fic. sometimes im just too tired to answer,, maybe laziness is a part of it too, but i stare and its like,, i cant generate a response . but nowadays, i do it most of the times bc i appreciate my commenters :D

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my recent fics mostly have happy endings, but all my pre-like, mid 2023 fics were all sad sad sad. they all ended in cdream dying, one way or the other. so idk which ones the saddest now its been too long,, the one i personally think is the saddest is one that i like, was listening to sad music to, the song being 'sociopath,' an orchestral piece (or was it piano?)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

consequences

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

once on consequences bc that was max cdream apologists vs inniters era

9. Do you write smut?

nop never ever ever

10. Do you write crossovers?

dream + tartaglia is one i wrote in fudging october that i am still trying to find time to continue

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

prob not, if there is, then i wouldnt know of it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, if there was, i also dont know of it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

wow thats crazy that i havent, but idk, teamwork and coordination just go meh when i only share my interests with online people

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

idk i dont do ships but my fav friendship is dream + techno or dream + punz

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

all my chapter continuations except the tartaglia + dream one i Need to finish that. but also the palace of stone idea will Never Ever get written

16. What’s your writing strengths?

descriptions idk they go lengthy but ive practiced with them a lot so ive gotten kinda good

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, pacing, idk literally everything, i can prob improve on anything and every aspect of my writing rn, and i just need to practice more

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DSMP lmao

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

consequences i love the storyline + ending of that one even if the writing couldve been better

uhh tagging? idk if theres anyone that doesnt overlap wiht people whove been tagged b4 les see: @milktearosethorn , @victoriacoffee , ,, oh theres only two ok well, have fun if u decide to do this!

#drac thinks #and im so sleepy and tired today was busyyyy

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jackienautism · 1 year

Note

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

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slowjamastan · 1 year

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its my blog and im going to vaguepost about my eternal suffering (creative process)

Current Dilemma has escalated like this:

haha dont take this one too seriously just have fun

oh people like this? ok i will try harder to make it extra good

oh no this chapter needs to be extra good and it is not

oh no im overthinking it and cant live up to my own expectations

oh no its been over month since i updated. how did this happen

I AM NOT USED TO GETTING SO MUCH ATTENTION FOR A STORY ............. THIS IS NEW

i think the easy way to break out of the loop would be to just Publish What I Have. but NO i am dedicated to making this Good now.

problem 1: its too much from one perspective rather than the usual rotation. solution 1: add more parts :) just keep adding more :) this chapter can be twice as long as all the others dont even worry. break it up into more chapters, even. keep expanding, keep bloating this dead fucking whale

problem 2: theres one section thats weird. it covers too much too quickly and doesn't gel with the rest of anything. unfortunately, it is a key piece of the story and deleting it isnt an option

solution 2: expand it??

problem 2.5: i hate that bit tho i dont want to look at it anymore. i dont want to expand it bc thats not fun and i dont wanna and and um solution 2.5: leave it as it is then i guess?????????? expand or ignore girl just pick one

problem 3: I HATE THIS ONE OTHER BIT SO MUCH. I HATE IT ITS NOT FUN BUT SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE THERE BUT ITS UGLY AND MAKES ME ANGRY

solution 3: keep screaming maybe it'll help

problem 4: im scared im gonna stop having fun and abandon this solution 4: there's like 1 more chapter planned after this girlie.... the finish line is Right There :((( hang on just get past this sticky chap and you'll be more or less free

problem 5: what if this happens again!!!!!!!!!! how do i stop taking things seriously!!!!!

solution 5: *demon on my shoulder whispering in my ear voice* make your next project even more niche and unreadable and there wont be any wenches tempting you with their honeyéd words.......

#post

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myst1calx · 1 year

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unironically i kinda hate how sonic feels and acts in newer media (specifically prime and a bit of idw)

rant/tangent time wooo

note: might be a bit unorganized due to this being on my old azz galaxy s7 edge lol

alright. So i just finished reading the idw sonic comics allll the way up to the the most recent side comic, Scrapnik Island #4.

So like, while reading the main idw comic i kinda felt like.. sonic was just kinda a dick near the end for no reason??? Like yeah hes mostly fine in the beginning but once we get to the point where people put these high expectations on him and hes basically under a lot of pressure (which i understand) but i feel like the way they are characterizing him is just :

"haha sonic doesnt care and acts on inpulse like a dick and doesnt recognize the shit hes done and is basically a little shit lmao he also is just kinda and idiot and seems to forget things on the basis of when it most convient for him !!!"

i didnt really feel much of it in idw until the later chapters, but it started to get prevalent when i was reading these in between me watching Sonic Boom. (The Show, which is my favorite outside of AOSTH.)

Now personally, i think Sonic Boom's charactasation of Sonic is probably the best one we have had in a long while. Although its a comedy, i like how sonic is aware of what's going on and takes into account what his friends are suggesting.

Like the episode where he does something that affects a citizen of the town, (minds going blank on what the towns name is lmao) and when his friends (and the other villagers) let him join the whole "talk about our feelings" club thing,

at first, he opposes the idea of apologizing saying that calling people "people" isnt bad, (ik this was played for jokes it still supports my argument.) they encourage him to recognize that what he did was wrong,, and they tell him to go apologize, and he does, albeit with a bit of "ok fine i admit it pls go away" but atleast he doesnt outright deny it or seem stupid for trying to do so and failing.

Thats my issue with prime, sonic just seems like an oblivious idiot who doesnt recogize how to read the damn room and listen to his friends when it matters most. He acts like a tiny child, which doesnt make sense to me, because hes been through adventures and times similar to this and for most of the newer media they dont wanna recognize sonics shortcomings and upbringings as a character at all??????? Like i think frontiers got it right with the story, and sonic who understood what was going on and stopped every once in a while to smell the roses and help his friends!

But in newer media outside of frontiers, it seems like sonic doesnt know how to smell the fucking roses every once in a while and stop thinking on impulse, like they are making him seem like he only acts on impulse, all the damn time, with no regards of what was or is being said to him or even taking it into account???

Like yes, we fucking get it sonic can sometimes act on impulse when hes in a stressful situation thats what makes him seem real, makes him seem human.

But, when you make him into this douche canoe who acts on inpulse all the time, disregards his friends when it matters most, and casually dissapoints them when ever he feels like it, or when it benefits him (cough cough the picnic scene in prime), i dont think most people would want him to have a good time, which im sure is the reason why most people, including myself, thought sonic deserved that punch from shadow. (who is great in prime btw, was okay in boom too but needed more time to flesh him out outside of 3 eps hes supper immature and i love him lmao) He's a dick. And i dont like him.

So, i hope to god they rewrite sonics character in prime s2 because he was unrionically just a giant fuckin dick instead of a snarky but caring 'anti hero' (like in boom) and that makes me really mad grahhhh

[also side tangent i dont hate prime (lemme make this clear) this whole sonic rant was just me nitpicking how sonic is currently in media outside of frontiers

ALSO ALSO SIDE TANGENT 2 HOW DID THEY FUCK UP SONIC SO BAD BUT GOT SHADOW ALL GOOD AND SHIT????? WHATT???? BRO THEY ARE POLAR OPPOSITE CIRCLE GRAPHS WHICH OVERLAP THEY ARE NOT THAT HARD TO MAKE SOBS INTENTLY]

#myst1calrambles #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonicidw #sonic prime #sonicboom #sonic rant #sorry for ranting so much grrr #i was tired of this thing #had to get out at some point #prime just made me rly mad #sonic prime spoilers

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berryunho · 1 year

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HI BESTIE it's san anon and IT'S BEEN A WHILE

i hope you're still enjoying your time in sk hehehe i see your posts sometimes and am like *nods* having a good time, nice

it's been a busy couple of weeks sjdghsfj HONESTLY i don't think that ppt will ever like. get there. IM SORRY DSJHGFJ i loved the idea of it but i don't think i can find the time to make you the amazing ppt you deserve SIGH i do however have reasons written down for why you SHOULDN'T k word san so bet you'll be hearing from me shortly

ANYWAY that was all i just wanted to pop by and ask how you're doing <3 i hope life is going well for you !!!!!!! love u mwah

(also this is me trying to fix my english bc you > u istg i've evolved)

WAUT SAN ANON AGAIN I JUST SAW THAT ASK ABT NOT TRUSTING SAN'S MANIPULATIVE ASS i love him i'm so sorry it's so bad but i LOVE cult freak san the same way i love hongjoongism (yes i'll keep using this name) and hongjoong's wicked little brain i love it all idk i'm just. waiting for the day you don't k word san off but instead turn him into this crazy wicked insane evil cult freak instead of the cute cult freak we've seen up until now KJHDSGFKJHSD kq please give us a dark concept. i need an actual culteez concept. don't just break that wall murder it san anon again because what the FUCK i missed so many san reblogs HELP???? it makes sense now bc apparently i had the for you page open instead of the following page wtf tumblr

HSKDJFASDLFJS HIIIIII

dont worry about being busy and PLSDJFASLKDF THE PPT LOL ITS OKY I DIDNT REALLY EXPECT YOU TO MAKE ONE E VERJKLJASFLKD PSKLJFSKLDF .... i also love cult freak san and evil hongjoong LKSJDFLASKDJF last night i was writing .... a scene that will happen in ... the next few chapters probably and i was (s)creamin-- I MEAN i was having a very good time writing it even though its like the most diabolical angst to ever come from my hands i was giggling biting my lip SO ANYWAYS thats gonna be so fun to release into the world but it has to simmer for a bit still ... not to confirm nor deny any san allegations of course mwuahaha AND ANYWAYS YES I AGREE bring back mvs where kpop boys would kill people ... or like graphic vampire concepts ... PLEASE I NEED IT SO BAD FJASLDJFSJ AND ???? NOT THE FOR YOU PAGE omg i do the same thing though like it switches and i dont realize and im like "where tf is sanchelinz rn" SKJFKALSDFJ

but anyways to answer your question ... im very good still ehehe my classes are all going well i even went up korean levels LAKJDFLASD and changing topics im not really a makeup person but i walked into olive young 2 days ago and blacked out and now i own a bunch of makeup and im trying to learn how to use it and i actually ... feel so cute KASDJLFSADJ like i have some on rn and its all pink and glittery and i did my eyelashes the wonyoung way and I FEEL SO CONFIDENT ACTUALLY its crazy like i think im pretty wo makeup lol and idk i normally feel so goofy when i try to do makeup but im actually proud of what ive been able to learn in ... 3 days lol

AND ??? you probably saw lol BUT I WENT TO IDOL RADIOAFLSJDFK;ASJ that was ... so anxiety inducing LKJKLAJSDFKJS there were SO many people and our foreign asses didnt reserve seats and didnt think to bring. idk. LADDERS BC PEOPLE BRING FUCKING LADDERS (*%)($*@)#()@ and anyways idk WHAT i was doing so wrong just by standing in one spot and not moving but i was being CURRRSSEDDDD out by ktinys like i accidentally looked at one of them for too long apparently and she turned to her friend and was like "this fucking foreigner is staring crazy bitch" I WAS LIKE (*$)(*$_)(#)(@_(#_????@$?$?@?4 and another girl saw me and was like "i fucking hate when foreigners come they never know whats happening" (*409*@)@(-#(0 I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT I WAS LITERALLY LIKE ............................ simply pretended i didnt know what they were saying bc i wouldve started swinging and gotten deported if i engaged like ... HOOOOO DEEP BREATHS IM NOT MAD anyways yunho and hongjoong waved to me and i got so many good pictures and i was just happy to get to see them ehehehe all that matters is that THIS is hongjoong waving at me and my friend

and anyways i stay winning <3 life is amazing im so happy everyday <3 I HOPE YOURE GOOD AS WELL BESTIE !!! PLS LMK HOW YOU ARE AND DW ABOUT BEING BUSY AND HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR WEEK AND ILY <3333 MWAHHH :]]] <33 <33 <33

#answered #san anon #this is so long omg heh

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abigail-nicole · 1 year

Text

tgcf liveread 10

part ten of my livereading of TGCF, Heaven Official's Blessing, which you should buy officially in english to support gays and great novels. and danmei and chinese gay fantasy. listen when I grew up we didn't even DREAM about having official licensed translations of gay niche content. anyway let's start book Four on today's recap:

"I can’t think of anything this story doesn’t have, except for a functional straight couple" -me, reading Heaven Official's Blessing, April 2020

originally tweeted 4/2/2020

Book 4 starting with a literal Xie Lian Suicide Nightmare!!!! This book is gonna Go Like That Huh!!!!

reading xie lian poor & starving is giving me Anxieties & Flashbacks

& now desperation drinking oh no

I know there are Bai Wuxiang/Xie Lian shippers out there

this is some fucking psychological horror

Absolutely people ship these two, beauty & the beast style, 50 shades style but where she left him after the first book and they didn’t get back together i stopped reading after that

I mean right now bai wuxiang is the most interesting thing happening in xie lian’s beginning of book 4 tragedy life so

Hella TW CW violence on these but OH MY GOD THIS IS SOME HORROR

ahhhhh i cant tweet anything about this chapter it’s really too much. Except for The Birth of a Ghost at the end

I KNOW SOME PEOPLE SHIP THIS

I understand why, & it’s because attraction is a form of power and power is often a root of attraction and clearly there’s some fucked up power dynamics here

IS THIS RUOYE

I feel like mxtx just came to my house and stabbed ME, PERSONALLY,

dianxia about to qi deviate

WHAT THE FJCK EXCUSE ME MOM & DAD

I WASNT PREPARED FOR THIS

WHERES MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SCARF WEAPON PET

oh there it is. Hi ruoye <3<3<3<3<3 i needed a good thing in this narrative rn <3<3<3<3

A) this is Badass I Love someone turning really evil OBVIOUSLY

B) Wei Wuxian?!!!?!!? Is this The Burial Mounds??? What did you do with Xie Lian?!? This isn’t your book

There’s a Lot happening here and I’m kinda.....really into Black Lady Evil Magical Girl Dianxia

Chapter 192 is SO GOOD oh my god

This is an extremely Hua Cheng moment. “You’re already dead”????!!!!!!!!

mxtx, probably: ....too much soft boyfriends....this could use some more body horror

okay I didn’t realize when Xie Lian entered the Kiln that he was ALREADY A GHOST KING

he can’t kill himself & become a ghost and then kill bai wuxiang and emerge from the Kiln as a Ghost King....because he already tried that once

Is it like him from the future or something bc this is getting fucked up???? I mean i trust mxtx’s plotting

nope nope nope

even when this is like Evil Version Xie Lian it’s still incredible & I’m cheering for him to be Really Evil

(i dont want wuming to be hua cheng tho let him have other friends)

Oh that’s the second ascension huh

ascension 1: fighting bridge demon thing. ascension 2: stopping the human face plague. ascension 3: being daddy's favorite

Jun Wu’s like “But please don’t do that though”

okay i got through book 4 and that was a lot more & also shorter than i expected

Now it’s a Crown Prince-off in the Kiln tonight, fine scholars

......um? this got very Mecha huh

CALLED OUT BY MU QING

i’m glad shi qingxuan is back i missed them!!!

There’s a lot more plot-wrap-up than I thought there was gonna be, honestly

This actually makes the most sense as a plot explanation

WAIT DAD NO!!!! JUN WU!!!!!!!!!

just like a real dad, I feel very betrayed

I Still Love Ruoye The Most

This is a very classical Action Movie wrapup so far

Ah yes, Solve The Problem By Injuring Myself: a Classic mxtx protagonist move

another little side dish of horror for our Evil Crown Prince and the human face disease

some hua cheng backstory!!!!!! Crumbs of it!!!! I cling to it!!!!!!!!!!

This novel is so interestingly not like mdzs? Much more comprehensive, longer, bigger scope, more of an adventure story. Also probably a better-written novel, though translation being what it is, i can only speak to plot & planning & pacing

Im trying to think of other books this long and immersive i wanted to eat recently & really only came up with the wheel of time (less like this) & the baroque cycle (more like this, less romance)

XIE LIAN OUT OF THE CLOSET AT LAST!!!!!

I can’t think of anything this story doesn’t have, except for a functional straight couple

I also purposefully didn’t emotionally engage much with book four brcause torture & suicide cw tw real hard & i can read it but....i’m not gonna sit here & live out those scenes in my head like I do for the rest

This ‘bringing your boyfriend home to uncle’ scene with uncle bing like “JUST DON’T DATE THAT HORRIBLY UNFORTUNATE BOY DOWN THE STREET” & Hua Cheng staring him down

IT’S NOT AN AFFAIR THEYRE ENGAGED xie lian just doesn’t realize it yet

Omg the DIANXIA GUNDAM is BACK

wait the heavenly city moves???!!!!! This is suddenly very big budget action movie (or some truly atrocious c-drama SFX)

This is a HELL OF A BOSS FIGHT....or should I say a HEAVEN of a boss fight......

“He owes me money” i died. i love hua cheng

TGCF Goes Gundam continued on tgcf liveread part 11!

#tgcf liveread #tgcf

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librarianwithlove · 2 years

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All Good People Here by Ashley Flowers - Review

since i have no followers but I have books that I want to talk about, this seems like a great place to do it. i have a personal book account but i feel weird making people i know read my (not complete or thought out) thoughts and i hate proper grammar when im getting my feelings out

My rating- 4/7

it has been weeks since i read it so pieces are missing from my brain already but anyway

I WILL BE PUTTING SPOILERS BELOW HERE

overall, i really liked the book. i was really keeping my expectations low because while ashley can tell a great story on a podcast, i wasn't sure that would transfer over to her book. i also really enjoy her podcast, and i didn't want a negative review of the book to alter my opinion of that.

anyway, like i said, i truly enjoyed the book. I feel like there was a lot of good material that kept you guessing and while at some points I feel like there was almost too much going on, it didn't overwhelm me. i'm not sure if it was just me but I do feel like there were moments it became harder to follow, especially when new characters were introduced. I will admit that part of that is my fault because I have a tendency to read 5 books at once, a few chapters at a time.

things i really liked

pete. i feel like he was just a feel good character and ashley made you want to like him and root for him. i really liked him in the background and if theres a sequel or spinoff or anything i just hope its about him because he just reads like a warm hug.

jodie and krissy. listen this came out of nowhere and i absolutely love it. as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, i feel consumed by straight literature. this nice little surprise representation was a welcome slap in the face and i liked how it was done too. there was no sugarcoating & it just felt like a run of the mill affair, not like a run of the mill GAY affair

how realistic it had the ability to feel. i knew reading this it was a fiction story, but i felt it was really easy to let yourself forget that and think it was a true story. so many aspects are incredibly realistic, from the town's treatment of the family, to the police response, to krissy covering for jace. maybe im so used to ashleys storytelling that it read that way for me, but it evoked a lot of feeling that I often get when im listening to crime junkie

that it was written by ashley flowers!!!! i have been listening to crime junkie for at least 3 or 4 years and love the show so much. i havent been able to find a podcast i enjoy quite as much and so reading her book felt like reading something from an old friend. im glad she was able to do this for herself, im really in awe of what she has done over the years.

there are two things that negatively altered my opinion of the book.

the way she treated luke. I know that she was so consumed with solving the case that she pushed everything else to the side to make it her priority but i cant get past her willingness to leave him alone for extended periods of time. it bothered me that she simply forgot about him after stating many times that he was essentially her father growing up. I just cant imagine being so ok leaving him behind for a case she didnt know she could solve

THE ENDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is ashley just leaving it open for a potential sequel? this brings me back to point one. what is happening with luke now? like is he ok? is billy gonna up and murder him too?? i also dont know what piece im missing, again could be me putting pieces in the wrong places, but what is so monumental about january having her blanket that made margot put together the pieces that it was billy? i know it was her special blanket and she held it when she was scared and he gave it to her but how does that implicate him and not anyone else? who is to say that "elephant wallace" didnt see her with it previously & know to give it to her? i dont know what im missing but it just didn't make sense to me that in a split second it all clicked. and also that he had to go and kill her next.

questions that remain about this book:

do we actually know the real killer

i still think luke it sketchy with the "shes asking too many questions about january" thing, something isnt right. how is luke involved?

is jodie okay? doesn't billy know they are in kahoots?

who is going to look for margot? (pete pls)

???? what was the ending here ?????

the police have to put 2 and 2 together now that another dead body is about to show up in billy jacobs basement, right?

#scale out of 7 because out of 5 isnt enough and i dont like 6 #booksbooksbooks #ashley flowers #all good people here #review #two am thoughts #anti decimal point as well #book review #thoughts #i am still processing #so many questions #crime junkie

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kimnjss · 2 years

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1. Lemme tell you. Ooh Namjoon is nicer than me. At this point I feel like the reader knows about his feelings and doing subtle things to let him know she isn’t interested. Its clear her and Tae are imaptient. So if she had the same feelings she would have spoken up by now. She is conflict avoidant.

2. Im glad he went and spent time with new boo and Jikook. Thats a friendship I didnt expect to happen. I also think Jimin is smarter than people think and is keeping him out occupied for Tae’s convenience.

3. Not her posting and almost identical post to Jungooks about their boo thangs being hungry. Completely nauseating.

4. As I mentioned earlier, I know the reader isnt stupid, so I need her to grow up and let Joon down. And stop acting clueless.

5. I can sense a written chapter upon us and I know this outing bout to drama. Cause Joon and Tae openly dont fuck with each other. I cannot wait.

1. yeah yn is definitely not one to wait around for something that she wants . nd after all of this time nd the closeness between her nd joon - if she had the bit of inkling that things would work out between them ., she would've done something by now . as for her knowing whether or not he has feelings for her ., that's a bit grey bc he himself doesn't really acknowledge the feelings that he has for her when they're arising bc it's constantly on nd off .

2. JIMIN KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING !! the man is team taehyung no matter what !! a straight shooter for his best friend nd he's not going to let anyone get in the way of his happiness (also know that jimin met tae right after he moved ., so he def saw him at his lowest) . him introducing joon to maika at the party was NOT a coincidence .

3. those couples are one in the same !! just completely obsessed with one another nd ready to fight anyone who tries to hurt the other one (mainly bc they've hurt them in the past nd refuse anyone else to do it) .

4. while joons feelings are obvious to everyone around her ., she's most likely purposely ignoring them to save for any awkwardness in their friends . especially bc he's so on nd off with them ., it doesn't seem worth ruining everything . but at the same time . she really could just be oblivious to it .

5. this outing is definitely going to be filled with a lot of drama ! yn was not smart with inviting taehyung along . joon does not hide how he feels abt him nd tae isn't one to bite his tongue when he feels a bit of hostility .

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littlelambdrgnfly · 3 months

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Oh my gosh i would die for an animated beatles series. i think that would be so cool. I'm so passionate about art of the beatles in general, more than i can express, and i think that would fit a lot better/ be more interesting. I think it'd also be better if so many people are so expectant for the casting to look like them. No problems on casting if you can just animate them :)

I will honestly be relieved if it doesnt happen. music biopics arent my thing either. many will disagree with me but i hated the freddie mercury biopic :( </3 loved rocketman though. But im always suspicious of movies being made about very complicated topics, especially if theyre making it just to make money. i think if they do end up making 4 movies about them, it will inevitably be bad since all 4 of their lives are so hard to represent in the format of a movie (thats at least what i feel)

And i didnt even think about their lives being almost similar during their times as beatles since they spent maybe like 60% or more of their time together up until maybe 1967. Great point. Even if it was about when they were more separated from 1967-1970, i still dont think their lives were varied enough to make 4 individual films about them

sorry im going on but you are still a beloved blog i go back to now and then (lol) and a cool person i think, so im glad i could get your opinion and also just love talking about this (since i havent been able to talk about it with another beatles fan so far) - person who sent the question about the biopic

Honestly, ever since I mentioned it, I’ve been obsessed with thinking about an animated Beatles series! Like, my god, it has the potential to be so good! I keep planning it out in my head, like each episode would be at a specific time, early years, Hamburg, Beatlemania, etc… A talented animator can express so much with so little in a way that live action usually can’t touch, and that would be so important in a rich story like the Beatles’. You could even do each chapter in a different style, or with different artists, just to highlight the changes they’re going through! God, someone get me in a room with a Netflix producer, PLEASE.

I didn’t even see Bohemian Rhapsody and I adore Queen and Freddie Mercury. As soon as I heard that the band was involved with the making, I knew that it wasn’t gonna be good. 😅 I really don’t watch any musician/actor biopics. Celebrities, and families of celebrities, are always going to make themselves look as good as possible, even if it means making a worse movie. But the whole genre is just so predictable— you’ve got a young person who loves entertainment but they’ve got some kind of barrier holding them back, they break through, they experience fame, they hit a low point usually with substance abuse, and then they either get better or die. You can’t really help it, it’s just the nature of a celebrity’s life, there’s always going to be the same elements. I mean, there’s a connection as to why Amadeus is so heavily fictionalized, not even told from Mozart’s perspective, and why it’s the best music biopic ever lol. There’s a real fine line between keeping enough of the true story and making an engaging film, and I don’t think that many filmmakers are up to the challenge.

Thanks for sending these asks! I love talking about film and television and the awful awful decisions Hollywood seems intent on making lmao! 💖

#watch Amadeus if you’ve never seen it #I also really liked Lords of Chaos #that one has an actual story to tell beyond How We Got Famous lol

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daedalusdavinci · 5 months

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ao3 wrapped 2023

taken from here. i did this last year and it was fun so im doing it again

1. How many words have you written this year?

i published 110,143 words this year! written...... no clue.

the first half of this year was mostly spent working on the jdau, but the second half was mostly spent on working on oc stuff that i dont post anywhere. i have no way of tracking how much i wrote for that bc this year i shifted all of my oc works from google docs to saved files on my computer, so the dates are all fucking wrong. ; ; if you add that mystery number onto the mystery number of scrapped projects and wips..... theres no telling. theres no telling.

2. How many works did you publish this year?

i posted 12 works on ao3 this year, not counting the fics i rewrote. i posted 9 drabbles on tumblr. this wasnt a great drabble year for me, i think.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

i like the afterlife drabble i wrote about jason and nico. i feel like every time i write about them theres just something so bittersweet and punchy about it. it was a cool idea that kind of leaves me thinking about the world behind it, but not in a way that needs to be elaborated on.

as far as fics psoted on ao3, maybe under the skin? its such a different dynamic, and the tension is drawn so taut, it walks the line perfectly between violence/hatred and grief/love. its one im always second guessing myself about, but i had so much fun with it, sometimes i just have to remind myself its okay to make things just for the sake of exploration/indulgence.

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

snow day, with about 1k hits. i think thats the fic where a lot of people stop reading the jdau. its short, its fluffy, and i do actually still love this one a lot. i wrote it when i needed it.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

i feel like a lot of my drabbles this year were really weak, so ive been surprised by the number of notes some of them have gotten. otherwise, mostly oc stuff? ive always struggled with sharing original content bc it never feels interesting enough, but the few friends i have shared it with have been so supportive and it means everything. @roomfulloferidans and @ashysiashy especially are always encouraging me and motivating me to keep making more, and i mightve given it up a long time ago otherwise tbh

6. Favorite title you used

oh thats gotta be The Family Disappointment actually. i like how much meaning and interpretation is embedded in it. if youve been reading the jdau, you might think its jason, but seeing that the fic centers damian, you might think its him. both boys struggle with feeling like theyre bruces biggest disappointment, but the fic is about brotherly solidarity, and recognizing that maybe bruce is actually the disappointment.

honorary mention to under the skin, bc i think that one was very funny/clever. i also named some oc works "the debilitating fear of garage doors" and "the inherent eroticism of handholding" and i like those a lot.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

its a fucking miracle. for once, i didnt use any.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

i guarantee it was bruharv again. bc the jdau. ive finally finished it tho, so who knows what the next will be?? the world is full of possibility.

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

im going to be so real w you. my ocs. their dynamic is so much fucking fun.

10. What work was the quickest to write?

i guarantee it was one of the drabbles. altho i did spend much more time agonizing over them this year

11. What work took you the longest to write?

the jdau. but specifically, im sure it was retirement, bc that one is the longest by miles.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

one!!! im working on a hs fic for the first time in ages, tho i dont have all of my plans for it 100% solid yet. ive got threeish chapters written tho, so i think i will end up finishing it. ill probably start another wip soon so i dont contaminate this one w the urge to write nonsensical fluff.

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

its retirement. its definitely retirement. its 46k and everythign else doesnt really pass 10k

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

one of the drabbles. on ao3, its off book.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

the aforementioned. its davesprite centric and so far its a lot about family and growing up.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

probably “Harvey Dent Adopts Jason Todd” again. god im so glad im done w that au

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

my ocs. otherwise, im going to say 2f bc he is so babygirl to me w his sexy trauma and anger issues, and rose, bc rose <33333333

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

bruce fucking again i hate writing him so much its unreal hes barely even a person to me hes been written so many different ways so many different times the source material is basically a suggestion and i HATE IT. also, nepeta. i cant get her voice right and its killing me and i refuse to write in pesterlog format im NOT DOING IT

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

eridve baby im coming home <333333 (<- insane) but probably also a lot of hal ships eventually

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

i have reread the jdau so many fucking times reviewing for the next chapter its fukcing unreal and insanity inducing. if i reread it any more im going to start hating it

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

772. this feels liek nothing compared to last year but its so much compared to the previous years so i think im doing good and last year was just a fluke

22. Which work has the most comments?

snow day w 7 comments, which tracks, bc it also has the most hits.

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

nope! not this year

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

most of my drabbles were requests, and i definitely wrote some fics w specific ppl in mind, namely @roomfulloferidans (Calming a Storm) and @ashysiashy (some oc stuff), but i didnt technically tag any gifts on ao3 this year

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

nope! im kind of the writer of my friend group so fics are not generally smthn i receive. however, trustymikh drew this drawing inspired by my mermay bruharv drawing inspired by their mermay harvey drawing, so maybe that kind of counts?? i was delighted to see my bruce design in their style, at least. @roomfulloferidans drew a very nice drawing of my oc rogue that i cherish, @mudp1es and another friend of mine drew our spidersonas, and i participated in an oc art trade where another friend drew my oc barbie. i think those count as gifts, even if its not Ao3 Gifts(TM)

26. What’s your most common category?

M/M again bc i think its hot when men

27. What do you listen to while writing?

i tend to just loop playlists or single songs, unless im really struggling to concentrate, in which case ill switch to white noise.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

my oc fic, the inherent eroticism of handholding, which im 99% sure i did write this year? it captures a very specific kind of uncertain tenderness where a crush is new and theyre feeling out flirting still. i think about the scene where theyre lying together in the dark while everyone sleeps and holding hands for a reason they cant justify, not looking at each other, talking about nothing, all the time. i also rlly like the oc fic i just finished a lot- domestic(ated).

that i published, i guess under the skin for reasons i already talked about.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

im just gonna collect a few here, bc its hard to pick when i write so goddamn much:

Two Face hesitated. Carefully, he asked, “Do you think they want to get rid of you?” Jason’s eyes flickered away from him, his mouth opening, and then closing. “Yeah?” he said, finally. He sounded unsure.

Water dripped from Two Face's curls and slid off of his nose, spattering against the symbol on Bruce's chest. He found himself blinking hard, his breathing coming fast and tight. "You told me- You were supposed to be- Not even in death. Not even in death, would you have ever told me."

The Backroad Home

Eridan kissed like a fire slowly burning him from the inside out. He tasted like liquid courage and saltwater spray, sticky sweet like taffy the way he stuck in Dave's chest. His hands left scorched trails behind when they slid over Dave's skin, haunting, dizzying, warm like the inside of his mouth.

Calming a Storm

back when he and Bruce had lived so deep in each other’s pockets that the line between his and mine had vanished.

To Late Bruce Wayne

For a while, Two Face just let the breeze wash over him, ruffling his hair as his skin prickled from the chill. A siren blared somewhere in the distance, and he sucked sauce absently from his thumb, setting aside the tupperware. “I care deeply about this city,” the TV crackled. “That’s why I’m donating-” Two Face tucked a cigarette between his lips, pulling his lighter out of his pocket. There was a ritual to it. The slow inhale, the gradual exhale. The wind pulled the smoke from his lips, and it disappeared over the rooftops. Bruce’s laugh washed over Two Face. It was vapid and fake over the airwaves, but the memory of it rattled around Two Face’s chest, warm and startled as they rolled in the sheets in Bruce’s dorm. Longing took hold and ached.

Under the Skin. there are a lot of great lines from this one, but this may be my favorite

Spectre's chin bumped gently against Rogue's shoulder, inches left between them, and Rogue thought about how easy it was to steal things in the dark. "Tell me about something," Spectre whispered. "Anything. And I'll sleep."

the inherent eroticism of handholding. this whole fic was very quoteable and so is Domestic(ated) but i will make this my single oc quote.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

that people would like my ocs, really. moth tenderly cares for them like real blorbos and i still dont really know how to process that

#2023 wrapped #maybe ill remember tht maybe i wont

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