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#i dont draw enough wlw
m0nomercy · 4 months
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sapphics <33333333333333333333333
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inorheona · 3 months
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harold they're lesbians
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kawaiilo-ren · 1 year
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What are you thinking about, Mei? You shouldn’t space out when you’re dancing with a cute girl.
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bitchesgate3 · 23 days
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mizora fans are the only safe side of the fandom for me
#from most safe to less safe#mizora tag i can enjoy evil woman and the occasional hate post#but she deserves that and it doesnt overrrun the tag#m*nthara tag is ok but some fans see her as more evil and more masc than i see her as#weird to me - cant relate#love Lae but the shadowzel hatef*cking ruined my engagement with other fans of hers#mystra tag i instafollow mystra-defenders#instablock mystra haters#literally on sight#because i read the whole post in the tag and i deserve compensation#mystra aint on the same level as c*zador#shes a pompous bitch who withholds blessings not a fcking p*mp/ tr*fficker#love shadowh*art but shes disrespected constantly and stripped of personality in the fandom to be: the woman#i dont follow the tags of the male characters anymore because the amount people will woobify them is legit unsafe#man puts a bomb in his chest because he couldnt take no for an answer#but people want to say “poor baby girl” the fuck?#man is just stupid and a tad scary#honestly sexy but i would be mystra 2.0 if i got with him#larian woobified ast*rion by removing the nuance on whether or not he deserved redemption#fandom performatively “likes” w*ll only when someone makes a big enough stink about him#i feel bad for actual fans because they love something that isnt actually there#his writing literally removes all agency for him#larian infantalized a grown ass black man to constantly be humiliated and removed the rightful anger he had in EA#i need people to admit that the writing is bad and IS racist and enables people to be racist in being dismissive with him#sometimes i do dip into the ast*rion tag tho because those artists know how to draw s*x with women#like those girlies have had s*x before and know what they want and they are so right for it#the wlw art in this fandom has no idea how s*x works#or its so male gazey and prnified it legit makes me squeemish
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octoagentmiles · 2 years
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guess who I'm still completely obsessed with
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anurarana · 11 months
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theres and oc ship bracket and I want to submit a pairing bc I was tagged but hmmm
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proseka-headcanons · 30 days
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hi i'm the guy who wrote a whole ass essay about my fav ships, with Nene as an unwilling match-maker. headcanons for the Shinonomes bc i love them;
- Akito can draw, courtesy of having an artist as a sister. Like, if he decided to pursue art instead of music, he could. His art is almost on par with Ena's. I think that when VBS was too lazy to do a choreography for a song they want to upload on social medias, they'd make Akito make an MV for it lol (ofc the others would help him make it, n25 style)
- I think it's pretty much canon that the Shinonomes have sweet tooth, especially for pancakes and cheesecakes, but i want to expand on that; New dessert shop down the street? they'd already bought the entire menu by the end of the week. New dessert recipe on trend? when Shinonodad (i forgor his name) came home, the kitchen was messy af and the culprits were on the sofa, eating said dessert while watching netflix or smth.
- Adding to that, everytime it's like, Valentine's, or White Day, or any celebration day where cafes and shops would have like, couple discounts, Ena and Akito would pretend to be couple just to get that discount or free dessert. it's the only time they were nice to each other. Mizuki caught them once. She took a photo of them and sent it to the Kamiyama gang gc. An died laughing. Nene said that's actually genius.
- Everytime N25 had a meeting, at one point they'll get the honor of witnessing the fight of the Shinonomes first hand. like, it's so common for the Shinonomes to fight in the dead of night that at this point, Mizuki already prepared popcorns.
- None of them are a morning person. At 6 AM every morning, you will witness the waking up for school Akito and just finished school Ena. They either stare at each other before having a mutual understanding, or the other would somehow trigger the other and they would have a boderline almost physical fight.
- also yes they have fist-fighted each other for at least 5 times in their life. And i just know one of the fight was bc one of them ate the other's cheesecake.
- Akito is trans-masc and Ena is trans-fem. They traded genders.
- They also traded clothes.
- When they came out, Shinei (shinonodad, i remembered his name finally) actually doesn't really care. for how much he's an asshole, he still loves his kids. Shinei just goes "oh, ok" and hugged them. Shinei's not the best parent but he's trying.
- Shinei actually bought Akito a binder. Akito cried.
- WLW and MLM hostility. that's them.
- Akito knows how to style hair. He taught Ena how to do it.
- ENA GOES TO VBS' CONCERTS AND AKITO ALWAYS WAITS FOR N25'S SONGS PREMIERES. they'd rather die than admit that tho.
ok yeah this is getting long enough. i love the Shinonomes sm.
-- also can I call myself unofficial mod Tsukasa from now on :D?
i love. everything. about this. also call yourself whatev you want (im a lil confused about it but as long as no ones going after my name(iwillfindyou(iamtherealakitoshinonome))). ive read so many sad headcannons about akito being able to draw really well, and ena getting so upset about it that he just stopped all together. dont get me wrong, i am an angst enjoyer but man. one of the serious fights theyve had was over akito supposedly "stealing" the only thing ena enjoyed. :( - 🥞
OUGHFHFHHFHFHFGHGHG.... this is all so real I'm sobbing - mod ena
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I dont like moth Pearl. I dont like that most people only draw her as a moth always. I genuinly dislike it. Also can people at least draw her with the correct antenas? Most people draw her with male antenas and its not even a concious choice bc of a transfem headcanon, its simply because they dont do enough research and its honestly also kind of annoying, like i dont hold it agaisnt them, but i rlly hope more ppl find out and change it idk
also? headcanons are alright and all, i love em, but i dont like most popular pearl headcanons. wlw pearl? not my thing. aroace pearl? not a big fan either. transfem pearl? nope, i believe pearl isnt cis, but still afab.
more ppl should join me on ftm/bigender mlm pearl, its quite the blast over here. we're like 5 ppl.
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t1meslayer · 15 days
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Busy with important family events over the next couple of days, and so I thought it would be good to get a day-and-date release for this Debrief on the latest entry in my Sapphic Valley series, "How You Get The Girl." Be sure to read the story before jumping in!
Did you do it? Did you read the story?
Alright, I'm trusting you. Go ahead and hit that 'Keep Reading' button you scamp.
It only seems appropriate to start this Debrief off by addressing the elephant in the room. I haven't posted anything in over a month, and "By Moonlight" came about a month after its predecessor, the conclusion to "Stone-Cold Lovers."
Work, naturally, has been a major factor.
You can see me talk about that almost two weeks ago in this Tumblr post I made about writing in a coffee shop, which came weeks after I actually started writing during a trip to a friend's house.
===
Side note:
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Just wanted to take a moment and acknowledge my beautiful Haley and Emily keychains. My friend who's responsible for the affairs of one ghostly farmer named Jizzabelle (Gisabelle to the laymen) got them for me! Only appropriate after I commissioned some art of her and Abigail.
Emily was my first Stardew wife, and Haley currently holds the biggest place in my heart. They make a lovely duo!
And I'll avoid any sister-wife jokes
===
While I've had some other projects like Zine writing to take care of, work and life can't explain the full absence.
The best way I can think to explain things is that:
I had the general writer's block, and
Despite the best intentions and advice of my irl friends and online pals like @alchemicallymoon and @duelbraids, I couldn't force myself to "break" that block by just... Writing something else.
This is entirely the result of my own psychosis. I have a tendency to carefully plot things out and impose a timetable that really doesn't need to exist. When I feel the cause is righteous enough, it's hard to get around that. In this case, I knew I needed to get my poll-winning idea out after dawdling for holidays like Valentine's Day, and then I knew I only wanted to post one more story before jumping on a very special event for my upcoming 30th AO3 post.
Thus, here we are: arbitrarily forcing myself into a spiral of writer's block misery because of a silly promise on Tumblr and my own sense of ordered chaos.
At the very least, this meant it's coming out not long after my AO3 pal InsertACatchyPennameHere also emerged from the woodwork to tell me they're working on something INSPIRED by my four-person friend group farm adaptations.
Much love to them, wherever they may be.
I'll probably start writing more eclectically now that my shoulders are unweighed, but don't expect my next publication to hit until I'm finished working on teasing the big event. All you Pokemon fans better get hype!
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And oh how sweet this publication feels. Between my great set of recent ceramics, the figure drawing class I've been attending, and creative writing, I've felt more fulfilled than ever.
You're here to talk about Stardew, though. So let us talk.
This idea began less with any one event as it did a desire to advance the Alexis/Haley relationship, and Haley's characterization in particular. It was always going to end with watercolor painting reference, but 2 Willow Lane was what I really wanted to dig into.
As I see it, a lot of what keeps people invested in Stardew when its comfy vibes becoming routine is the air of mystery in Eric Barone's worldbuilding. Haley and Emily's parents being some world-traveling duo who left their home in the siblings' care for who knows how long (and who knows how many times over their lifetime) really piqued my interest. So much so that the new writing challenge I set for myself in "How You Get The Girl" was crafting a particularly long set of descriptions that emphasize how overwhelming the parents' influence feels — without creating an impenetrable wall of text.
Hopefully I succeeded in that. Let me know!
I tried to include some vaguely real world-adjacent references into that description of the house, as happens with the magical-realism world of Stardew Valley. For example:
The computer sitting next to their bonsai tree is an iMac G3, the kind of old 'futuristic' tech that my dad loves!
A Speedwell refrigerator is based on even more vintage tech, the Mayflower fridge, but named after a different ship ridden by Pilgrims coming to America.
That city that the family visited in an old photograph with a "monument of arching, interlocking steel" is, of course, Paris — with the statue bookends referencing any number of statues in the Louvre.
Haley's FAD magazine could be referencing any number of publications, but Vogue is probably the closest analogue to what I imagine her reading.
Furthermore, I took some notes on describing the home's layout off of my sister's apartment building, and I asked my bestie @trybard for input on what kind of hanging plant should be used in the transitional hallway. Hanging pothos, philodendron, and spider plants were the three options provided, and my response was appropriate:
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They know so much about plants.
Go bug them about it.
I drew on other friends' knowledge to help decorate the house. Specifically, I asked one of my witchiest friends what kinds of protective wards someone like Emily would leave around doorways and windows. She had... A lot of reference material.
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I picked Hazel given it purportedly "protects against evil; encourages abundance and inspiration." I also picked Amethyst as one of Emily's loved gifts, one that purportedly "absorbs negative energy, promotes harmony."
My witchy friend is the same one who provided the TikTok that I referenced in my advertisement post:
Perhaps the most important thing about 2 Willow Lane was the recurring motif of Barbie's Dream House.
As a surface-level reference, I think the groundwork is clear. Blondie's love of fashion and general queen bee demeanor fits comparisons to Barbie well, and she lives in a big ol' house full of stuff. We all saw Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie last year. It's still in the cultural zeitgeist.
I'm hip with the kids.
Yet, early on I also tried to make it clear that if this is a "dream" house, it's neither Haley's nor Emily's dream. Haley is a Barbie in that stereotypical sense, but also there's much to be mined from the analogy of a sort of powerless doll in an immutable house, constrained by social obligation to her family rather than literal plastic and stickers.
The cold open of Jodi and Sam was meant to stand alone, but in execution I also think drawing Kent's absence into the conversation makes for a more thematically rich comparison to these sisters who appear to have themselves more put together.
My beta reader said this wound up being one of my stronger stories because of how all of that intertwined, which I appreciated given how down on myself I was following the whole writer's block thing.
But also.
Also.
Alexis gets to be horny. She's hitting on lonely MILFs and watching girls shake their asses to the tune of bad reality TV.
We love a buff dommy mommy farm girl in this house.
Haley is probably horny too, she just doesn't realize it yet. For now I think it's fun enough to play into her being coy about building excuses for Alexis to come over, and then getting incensed when Emily barges in on their private time meant to learn more about this farm girl she just can't get out of her head.
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===
Fun fact:
Every story in this series is named after a Taylor Swift song, but I know next-to nothing about her discography. All of them are suggestions by my friend whose house I was at when starting this story — the same one who controls Gardenia on the farm.
While I went with "How You Get The Girl," her alternative suggestion was "The Man."
===
All that w|w talk aside, I also want to give Sam the loveable idiot a shoutout. Had to do a fair bit of research into how skateboards are constructed for his failed ollie, and I slipped in a reference to shitty old technology that's exclusively for my beta reader to enjoy.
I also tried doing some agricultural research to figure out how the folks at Kevin Farm could have grown cucumbers so there'd be a jar of legitimate pickles... But that was getting too in the weeds.
Insert laugh track here
Decided to just go with pickled artichoke hearts to save everyone a lot of trouble.
And where does "Kevin Farm" come from, you may be asking yourself. Or the fabulous "Kevin's Special" with its definitely not innuendo tagline.
That story will have to wait for another day, my friends.
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nicegaai · 1 month
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im drawing lesbian nordic 5s again ahhgjghnfjfjdjdndjdjfjfn... nothing good enough to share yet but the lesbian womyns land au is startibg to be less of a joke (started as a plot device to have a bunch of adult wlw from all walks of life hanging out w no men around)... heres some of the things on my mind
sweden is a long flowy skirts+dresses farmers market type. half her head is shaved and she has a sleeve of tattoos. used to be a serious businesswoman in stockholm (or portland but dont think about the setting too hard) but now she just wants to live in the woods (she fell for the cottagecore pintrest aesthetic and blew up her life to have it). shes the pov main character in my imagination bc shes relatively new to the land
finland is a SHORT FAT BUTCH !!!!!!!!!!!! she is ADORABLE and SOOOO NICE and HELPFUL TO EVERYONE!!!!! shes got practical skills for running life off the grid and is an excellent handywoman and ms sweden is head over heels for her on sight. finland might b a permanent resident / own the land. running this low tech summer camp for wayward lesbians is her lifelong dream and SHES LIVIN IT BABY
Denmark is obv a basketball shorts + growing out a buzzcut messy type. loud, rubs people the wrong way easily but is well intentioned. brings practical skills to the land too (shes a tradeswoman). literally just canon denmark but with more lesbian swag. shes here bc she loves women but started coming to support her ex-wife/current gf eternal situationship ->
norway is a dianic mother goddess earth worshipper type and the land's high priestess. (everyone else buys into the lesbian religion stuff at different levels ex. fin thinks its important, den doesnt quite get it). other than that shes a millennial skinny jeans sidepart collects way too many plushies type. still says heccin doggo and such. super skinny very pretty not very expressive (she is possibly tripping at any given time. its a religious practice ok she Needs more weed shrooms lsd Right Now). her brain is a little fried but maybe she was always like this. outside this she struggles to keep employment or not maybe shes doing something or has a witchcraft etsy shop i dont know tbh. she can do whatever she wants bc shes a trust fund baby.
iceland is 16 and the result of norways teen pregnancy. shes been coming to the land as long as she can remember, may or may not even be gay, and is going through a Euphoric Atheist phase both genuinely and because it pisses mom off (ice is one of the few who can even tell when nor is pissed off). shes in online high school and her only friends her age are also online. den is her stepmom kind of and the only one who Gets Her... ugh... flips hair
other notes: everyone looks way more like normal hetalia chrs than they do the nyo counterparts. and the other priestesses are england and romania
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Wait if Glenn dies in this Au does Morgan go on trail ?! More importantly Mommy Jodie?!
OH ANON . YOUVE UNLOCKED MY TRAP CARD . yes! yes she does!! this is actually the part of the au i started with on tumblr, and its my FAVORITE part of this au (except for the lesbianisms XD), so im just gonna link you to that! though as a note, the designs are a lil out of date! except morgans. ive always known her. ill reiterate some of that here below, but ill try to be briefer LOL and also talk A Lot More about jodie/his and morgan's relationship in this au!
there is NOT a fifth mom. i did not particularly feel like making a wlw cop character. theres enough of those in the world, theres a reason why ive never genderbent jodie even though hes my baby girl. instead, i twisted the punishment so that jodie is still married to morgan! essentially, morgan is made to retroactively be married to a "safer" parent, who in this case, is jodie. hes as protective as she is but without the paranoia, he has a "safe" job (according to copaganda, at least, im not gonna go into a full spiel but Never Marry A Fucking Cop. please love yourself), hes an all around very cheerful and loving man who is very capable of keeping morgan and nicholas safe. the opposite of glenn, really, minus the cheerful and loving part.
(as a side note: jodie does quit the force in this au - on earth, while the moms are trapped in the forgotten realms, their missing persons case is waved off repeatedly by the police. jodie very strongly insists, a lot, on trying to push the case, but once the dads team up to try and save their wives, ala the moms in normal canon teaming up, henry just. goes on a whole rant many times about how cops dont actually care and it starts really settling in with jodie. so he quits the force to focus full time on helping their wives! post season 1, he works as a mall security guard and is pathetic about it <3 my wet cat)
morgan does not take this well, understandably. jodie does not take his loving wife suddenly not knowing him anymore very well, either! theyre both really fucking sad! i am like, seriously obsessed with their dynamic, theres so many different ways i could take it and i spin them in my head endlessly. currently, im very fond of them just like... trying to make it work? not necessarily as a couple, but as co-parents who are married. despite her apprehensions about everything jodie has going on, morgan finds him interesting and in a more sympathetic sense, feels for him in the sense that he lost his wife due to the timeline jump. jodie is just... in love with her. even though she isnt his morgan anymore, he still loves her, and hes willing to learn about this new her. even if she makes him really sad constantly. they settle into being like, weird half-friends, half-lovers, full-time parents to the world's silliest little guy (a deeply serious 13-year-old boy).
im not gonna draw anything new for this, but i will toss in a VERY ROUGH sketch i did a few days ago and sent to my dear friend cereal because i was thinking about them gfhjbdghdfj post-s1 morgan and jodie, you are sooo so funny to me
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i will throw you a bone for mommy jodie, though. there in an au of this au where mercedes goes on trial instead, and so henry and jodie are gay married. jodie does count as a mom in that. hes a man mom. cereal is obsessed with it so i will likely draw out some stuff for that at some point LMAOOOO theyre so silly <3 jodie oak you mean everything to me actually
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rogueolight · 1 year
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One thing that has always annoyed me about the fandom is this whole.. standby lesbians thing with rosemary. This has been said so many times before but I'm saying it again cause it's STILL annoying and people still do it so like. . Often they're just sort of. Being there. In the background of other(mostly MLM) ships, serving as this prop. Like when people draw davekat/dirkjake/pepsicola/etc they're always doing something like talking or cuddling or shopping or it's like a shitpost about divorce or something or whatever. But very often when i see rosemary it's like. They're just eerily standing next to one another and smiling. Like almost the entire fandom agrees that it's a good ship, but literally no one actually wishes to understand their personalities or their bond beyond that. It's just. Prim and proper lesbian rep to fill in the gaps. Much of their tags on social media are filled with this very bland fanon version of them, and very often it's accompanied by a different, more characterized ship as the main focus of the post. They're just kinda there to sit still and look pretty. Like I've seen people crackship yaoi just for the sake of yaoi and call it the ship of the century but the same group would tell you that rosemary is boring because uhhhhh smart words and uhh girl read book. The ao3 tag is also atrocious. I need to break my neck to find good content for one of the only canon pairings in HS 💀
sadly this doesn’t just happen in homestuck, this happens in almost every fandom. and then ppl ask why sapphic creators are so LOUD???. someone has to provide the actually accurate awesome stuff… it’s so funny because whenever i read a wlw fic with an mlm side pairing they still do them justice… i feel like a wlw fic author will drop the best interpretations of mlm couples and then an mlm fic writer will just like make the background wlw characters sit there and do nothing most of the time.
but that might just be me tbh idk i don’t keep track of every thing i read. i dont really understand why every single fandom has this weird imbedded mysogeny its like i can’t find any content of ships i like without them being either objectified or simplified yk. i also have beef with the fact that there is NOT!! ENOUGH!! well written PLATONIC dynamics ever like that’s the most fun thing to me like i actually need dave and kanaya duo content desperately.
i feel like a lot of authors lack the crucial understanding that everyone is always going through something. when characters aren’t in a certain scene they’re still doing something in the story. like where is the background tea. where is the nasty deets. things dont always happen in a linear clear perfect way like i think while dave is figuring out what touches are in which quadrants we should have rose and kanaya start gaslighting karkat into believing he is made of earth crab. let rose fake her own death with kanaya and have terezi conduct a case while davekat suck face yk. we’re all a little silly
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luckyqueenreign · 1 year
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Not Fusebox bragging about having 3 female LIs this season when :
One is literally the only nice person to MC in the Villa, so I guess that's something. But she comes in so late that her romance route is rushed and half baked. Also she still has the hairstyle of a granny.
One is the other woman ... which wouldn't been so bad if she didn't put an entire clown show for said ex.
And one is ... Dana. Nuff said.
Also we already had 3 female LIs in S3 and 2 + another woman MC could sleep with in S4, so why are they even treating this like an achievement to begin with ?
OK THIS!!! They acted like this was some huge win for LGBT+ players...girly pop IT IS NOT and if you think it is, that is a MASSIVE problem. Lets get into it...
The fact that Dana's route was identical to Alfie's route to me is WILD. In doing so they basically told wlw fans, sorry but I dont have the time and dont care about you enough to give you an OG female route that is new, exciting and that makes sense for these characters.
Then you have Gabi, who is hands down the best looking female LI this season but she's so far up Suresh's butt it's such a turn off to even try to romance her. I also had a theory that she was NEVER meant to be an LI and I stand behind that theory. The lack of scenes with her is not very LI-esque. She comes in wayyyy too snarky with MC and it's clear her intentions in the villa are to get back with Suresh. The small moments she focuses on MC are way too few and far between and they seem like add on moments, rather then organic to the script.
Lastly my queen Lulu 😭 They gave her ZERO scenes with MC lets be honest here and I get we didnt have many LI/love scenes until the end anyway but ALL the boys pulled us for chats and I feel like Lulu literally never got ANY time with us at all. Also im sorry Lulu is beautiful but her HAIR is ATROCIOUS and idk wtf FB was thinking but again...NO.
go back to the drawing board FB, hire some POC LGBT writers for your staff, and partner with an actual BRAND next season re: clothing and styling. These clothes, shoes, hairstyles were not it.
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planetary · 2 years
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what made it so bad?
this is about netflix’s “the imperfects”
my main gripe is that it paired up an 18 year old with a 27 year old, and they had known each other since they were 11 and 20, respectively.
just in terms of writing and stuff, though;
the story does a lot of TELLING the audience things, rather than showing. juan mentions that he draws comic books, he wants to be a graphic novelist, etc like. every other sentence. same with abbi, she is obsessed with saying she loves science! she wants to be a scientist! and like. this is definitely an adult show, between all the language and gore, so there’s really no need for the characters to be reminding us of their interests and lone personality traits every two seconds.
the portrayal of the main antagonist, starkov, constantly leaps around. he’s a silly guy. he’s mysterious. he’s quirky-funny. he’s shy and sensitive. he’s cold and blatantly evil. he’s just a sad wittle boy with a sad past. like… what are you trying to do here. it just did NOT work
their powers are super inconsistent. tilda has super-powered screams. sometimes tilda will screech for 1 second and the sound will be powerful enough break all the windows and to throw a person across the room and knock them out or even kill them. then when she’s in agony, she screams so loud it starts shaking the house. she was right in front of a glass wine cabinet and nothing broke. juan breaks his arm and then when he transforms its all better, but later his scratches dont heal when he transforms. dumb stuff i guess but it’s really noticeable in such a short show (10 episodes). oh, and juan is immune to abbi’s powers for like… no reason. that’s never explained.
i have other issues with it too like its treatment of its wlw character hannah is just like. over the top with its torture and belittlement of her. get that girl out of that fucking show!!!! anyways yeah
i also just hate tilda so much. wish she died for real but unfortunately the show seems to want the audience to root for her while also showing that she’s mean and inconsiderate and insensitive, AND tw: sexual assault;
she got a teenage boy drunk, waited for him to pass out, and then kissed him.
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Do you ever feel like mlm and wlw ships in the Cookie Run fandom get overly fetishized and get filled to the brim with generic, stereotypical cliches?
Admittedly i dont socialize in the fandom deep enough to know the answer to that 😅 but i think any fandom big enough is bound to have these problems anyways.
And i know that i said a lot of shit on here but theres a reason most of my opinionated posts arent tagged with the fandom tag. As long as people arent harming anyone, or confusing between real life and fiction (bold because this is important, i will maim and kill anyone who "ship" irl people), i dont see the need to tell them how to act. If generic anime boy #1 being together with generic anime boy #2 makes you happy, then sure, go for it! These characters who haven't even meet each other canonically yet would make such a cute couple to you? Hell yeah, theyre married with 6 adopted children now. The point is that people shouldnt have to have a "legit" reason to ship something, no matter what others may feel about said ship. We're not gonna win our rights by intruding on people having fun anyways.
Still draw the lines at shipping minor characters with adults though. Anyone who do this please dont ever get within 5m near me.
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journaljourney42 · 9 months
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Evening 04/08/23 😕
I dont know why I want to journal but it just seems like something I should do I've never actually gotten round to doing it until today. Here I go I guess.
I woke up at at 3:45 ish this morning my dog was in my bed she doesn't normally sleep in my bed. I went to stroke her and I couldn't feel her breathing so I had to use my phone light to check on her. She was fine. When I woke up again at around 8:00 she was gone but soon came back into bed when mum and dad left for work. It's hard to get out of bed when the dog is sleeping on me. I forgot to use my inhaler.
I felt good when I woke up but a bit tired I started to read a wlw webcomic but it ended too soon and hasn't been updated since February. I then watched the last 3 episodes of heartstopper. I find it to be such a good show even tho I'm not normally a fan of romance. Maybe I just never tried romances enough before.
I've been starting to wish this week that I was in a relationship it's hard because I've been imagining lots of scenarios where I have a girlfriend (I'm pan, why am I just thinking about women this week maybe I've read too many wlw comics for one week) some with real people and some with imaginary people but I never get very far with them because I don't rly know what it was like. One of my repeat imaginings is that Emily asks me out and we go on dates. I am struggling to decide whether I actually have feelings for her or if my brain is tricking me like it has before but it's probably just the latter. I have also imagined that I am dating Goose which is kinda stupid because we've never met and have only had a few conversations about TV shows. I guess hormones trick my brain into thinking these things??? I don't know.
I did some drawing on my laptop today it's nice that I can draw and paint again. I listened to Conan grey whilst drawing which was actually rly good music that I've never listened to before.
I read a short heartstopper novella called this winter it was sad. I then proceeded to read solitaire Alice Osman's first book which is from the point of view of Tori and takes places after this winter it was a brilliantly sad and beautiful story. I felt a bit sad for the rest of the day I think I've been reflecting inwards the emotions and feelings I get from the media I've consumed recently which is why I started this week wanting to be in a relationship (due to good omens and heartstopper) and now feel like I'm sad for no reason.
I also made a good Pizza today and remembered to brush my teeth and wash my face this evening.
Im not sure quite how I feel now so I've picked a sad but confused emoji as that's the closest I can describe it in one emoji.
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