#i don't understand why i'm like this i have no good reasons i have never lacked for love in my life
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Letters Unsent - Genshin + HSR Boys x GN! Reader
★ Summary: After their death, you find a letter. A letter he wrote. A letter he wrote for you, a letter he wished he could’ve given to you personally. A letter describing his feelings.
☆ Characters Included (Separate): Diluc, Wriothesley, Cyno, Argenti, Jing Yuan + Gepard
★ Genre/Trope: Angst + Hurt/No Comfort
☆ Warnings: Major Character Death (Not the Readers)
★ Extra: Angst is fun, angst is nice :)) // Might make another part with different characters if this does well // Not fully proof read // Motivation came back cuz of sad tunes/hj
He said he'd be back, that it'll be quick. Despite your worry, you knew he was strong, so he'd be able to protect himself right? So you trusted him. Trusted him so much that when his co-worker showed up to your door with an expression you couldn't exactly read, you were confused. It was about him but...he was fine right?
Then why were they telling you he had passed? The injuries he sustained was...to much for his body to handle? The healers couldn't help him? But...he said he'd be back...you were snapped out of your thoughts when they handed you a letter with your name on it.
"I think he knew he wouldn't be able to make it...so...he wanted you to have this...even if he couldn't hear your answer"
"To My Dearest,
If I'd ever be lucky to even call you that. Although this isn't ideally how I wanted to do this. I believe I can only get these things on paper, it's much too difficult otherwise. I was never good with words so I hope this alternative is alright for you.
Ever since the day I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were different. Not in a bad way. It took me way too long to figure out the reason for this was due to the fact I loved you.
I loved seeing your smile.
Hearing your laugh.
Loved the small talk we had that would end up with me taking you home. You made me feel something I didn't think I would ever feel, and I'm unsure if I even deserve it.
If I even deserve you.
Whether or not you feel the same way, I hope we can stick together as long as time allows us.
Sincerely
Diluc."
"To Y/N
Hope you're doing well, life in Meropide is still as dull as ever. Well, unless you decide to visit, you really do light up the room when you come by don't you? Or maybe that's just for me.
Anyways, preferably I would be telling you this in person, but more work has piled up. That's also why our little tea sessions have to be put on hold for now. Don't worry, as soon as this all clears up and I investigate this one area, then we can go back to the usual.
I have this one blend I think you'd really like!
Anyways, enough beating around the bush.
I like you.
Like like you.
I love you.
So much.
I can't even begin to describe how much I love you, and even if I did I feel you'd be gagging at how cheesy I was being haha!
But really, I love you so much. I want to be with you, of course I understand if you don't feel the same. But Sigwinnie would have my head if I postponed this confession any longer.
I hope to see you again after my work.
Yours Truly
Wriothesley"
"Hello Y/N
I never thought I'd be writing this kind of letter in my free time. Unfortunately for me, it seems as though fate likes making things harder for me and whenever I want to even try to talk to you about this, it's much more difficult than it was when I practised in the mirror.
Or...
Well...
Practised to Tighnari.
We can ignore that for now though as I'm still trying to put this all together in words.
I would let you borrow my TCG set, you can use it as you please and I'd even let you touch my limited edition cards.
If that's not making any sense then how about a joke?
How does a fruit confess?
They say "Olive You"
.
.
.
Get it, because an olive is a type of fruit, and olive sounds like "I love"
.
.
.
I love you"
"My beloved rose
As much as I'd love to tell you all these words in person, my search for Idrila is still ongoing and I am unsure when I'll be able to see your beautiful face once again.
Ever since my eyes laid on your beauty, I thought I had found Idrila herself, but once I got to know you. Even if you weren't the Goddess, you could almost rival her.
The sparkle in your eyes.
The pretty little smile.
Your wonderful personality.
All those things you think are flaws? I love each and everyone of them. They are not flaws to me and it pains me knowing you think of yourself like that.
Once we meet again, I want to make sure you know how deserving you are of these words, how your 'flaws' aren't flaws and how much I love every bit of you.
Though I am aware I find many things worthy of praise. I want to let you know that you're different.
I don't just want to praise you, compliment you. I wish to love you, hold your hands and protect you with my life, no matter what it takes.
I love you so much, and if I could be so lucky to call you mine. Well, I think I'd be the happiest man alive.
I will return soon,
Signed
Argenti"
"Morning, Afternoon or Night
I'm not too sure when the Cloud Knight will give this to you, or when I'll give this to them. Whatever the case, I won't beat around the bush too much.
I love you.
Nothing could compare the feeling in my heart when I see you.
The smile that will never fade as long as you're there by my side.
You are just amazing. In all my years of living, never would I have thought to have met someone as perfect as you.
Even Fu Xuan herself can see just how enamoured I am for you, although for her. She's been using it as an advantage to do work.
'If you finish now you can see them quicker'
'How would they feel knowing that you're not working?'
'Stop dozing off or they won't come to see you ever again!'
I must admit, they all do work. Even if in hindsight, not only would I still see you even with work uncomplete, I'll see you plenty of times and more to come but I don't think you care all too much about my sleep.
But I digress.
I hope this letter finds you well, take as much time as you need to consider my words and think about your own feelings.
I'll be waiting where I always am.
Jing Yuan"
"Dear Y/N
Aeons this is embarrassing. But it would be even more embarrassing if Serval kept teasing me about this. I've been putting this off for so long, worried about how you'd react.
Your answer.
And if this would change your view on me...but you're not that kind of person. I know you're not. And after a bit of thinking, to save me from stumbling on my words. I decided to write a letter.
Serval should be the one giving this to you, so I hope she didn't say anything to you, I would nearly die of embarrassment if she did. Anyways!
So...I know it's probably not much hoping Serval wouldn't say something actually, knowing her, she gave it away with one sentence but...
I like you, a lot. More than you could ever know.
And I'm more than happy to talk to you about this in full once I'm back from my mission.
I can only pray you feel the same, but even if you don't.
I hope we stay friends.
Until next time,
Gepard"
WOOO FINALLY GOT THIS DONE AFTER FOREVER.
Sorry if any characters are OOC, I tried my best with writing what I think they'd write in a confession letter, but I hope you enjoyed this anyways!
#Diluc x Reader#Diluc x You#Wriothesley x Reader#Wriothesley x You#Cyno x Reader#Cyno x You#Argenti x Reader#Argenti x You#Jing Yuan x Reader#Jing Yuan x You#Gepard x Reader#Gepard x You#hsr x reader#Genshin x reader#hsr imagines#hsr x you#genshin x reader#honkai star rail x you#genshin impact x you
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ALERT OF HADES II SPOILER
Okaaaayyy....seeing a considerable number of people act shocked at how Odysseus is in Hades II and think it's something against Odysseus, and now I'm wondering if they actually paid attention in the first game…I know everyone talks a lot about Hades' art, but I didn't think that was because it was the only thing you guys were really paying attention to.
It makes sense to be disappointed that the characters weren't treated the way a fan would have liked (for example, I'm not a fan of Hades, but I don't really like the idea of him in the game although I understand why he's the way he is), but I think it's weird to be that surprised by it or treat it like it's personal. Hades never fully followed the myths. They didn't do this because they haven't read Homer or because they don't like Penelope or hate Odysseus…it's simply because they don't follow the myths authentically. They don't specifically have anything against Odysseus or Penelope, it's just the way they do things. If this were the first game, I would understand this being unexpected… but it's the second game, we already know that they won't faithfully follow the myths because they didn't do that in Hades I.
I'll admit that I also didn't expect what was done with Penelope and Odysseus, but it's not really such a "wow! I could never imagine!" when it comes to Supergiant (I'm playing the technical test, for context). And I hoped they would already be together without relationship conflicts, because I really wasn't looking forward to a repeat of Nyx and Chaos, Patroclus and Achilles, Orpheus and Eurydice. I know most people wanted this, but I think it would be lazy to repeat this and I'm still hoping to not have this quest, whether with Odypen or other characters. And yet, even if I didn't expect it, I don't think it's as unexpected for Supergiant as some are making it seem.
Examples:
Melinoe and Zagreus are children of Persephone and Hades, and in mythology they aren't children of Hades.
Zagreus and Dionysus aren't the same person. The game makes humans believe that they're because the two played a prank on Orpheus, which made him invent a song with that story. Clearly a joke on the Orphic hymns.
Theseus is proud to be a demigod, but Poseidon denies that he's his father. Clearly a joke with the different versions of Theseus' birth, in which some he is Poseidon's demigod and others he's mortal.
Persephone is the daughter of Demeter and a mortal, not Zeus. For that reason, she and her children bleed red rather than gold.
Persephone isn't actually kidnapped by Hades. The kidnapping was an act that went wrong. Yeah, Odysseus wasn't the first character to have his non-con and dub-con aspect erased.
Achilles has a different personality than in myths. The game explains this as him maturing in the afterlife.
Patroclus is distant instead of communicative as in the myths, also explained by post-death events.
Asterius (Minotaur) is much more humanized than in the myths and he and Theseus are best friends.
There is a character heavily implied to be Medusa (Dusa) and she definitely doesn't behave like a monster.
Sisyphus is a kind and helpful guy, which is explained in the game with him having regretted his actions after his years of punishment.
Artemis and Callisto are on good terms even though they ended tragically in mythology.
Hades has a much more difficult personality to deal with than in mythology.
Thanatos, Megaera (one of the furies) and Zagreus are in a romantic relationship, which definitely doesn't exist in the myths.
The last aspects of the weapons to be unlocked do not even make reference to Greece, but to other figures. For example, the Twin Fists have the "aspect of Gilgamesh", a figure who is definitely not Greek.
Aphrodite says "You do know that I'm married, don't you love? I forgive you if you didn't. For my husband, he's always... busy with his work. I'm grateful that you are there for me to talk to" about Hephaesthus...her husband, she says. Hephaestus and Aphrodite are often divorced in mythology, including in Homer. And it's not because it wasn't yet at the time they got divorced, after all the Trojan War had already happened and they were already divorced at that time.
Also, they clearly don't use Homer as their only guide, so I don't know why you guys are saying "but Homer!" Patrochilles is there and not really canon in the Homeric tradition, but in Classical Greece they were considered a couple in certain sources (Aeschylus mainly). They use the name Asterius for the Minotaur (something Pausanias mentions, for example) although it wasn't the most common, they play with the various versions of Theseus' lineage, they reference Orphic hymns, etc. Like…it's really VERY obvious they took inspiration of more than one source.
On the Supergiant website, part of the Hades presentation is "Greek myth comes from stories of ancient gods and heroes filtered through new points of view; we’re excited to share ours." This already makes it more than evident that certain aspects were purposefully changed. It wasn't a surprise even before Hades I was released, for anyone who bothered to read it.
On Twitter, Kasavin (Creative Director) has already said that "it is a concerted effort over time, although Hesiod and Homer were very significant among the many authors we explored", which makes it clear that they don't focus on a specific source, although he recognizes that Homer and Hesiod are very influential.
In an interview available at Rock Paper Shotgun, he even said that he read more than one translation of the Odyssey and cites other sources like Diodorus Siculus.
Also, Odysseus cheating Penelope isn't even a modern invention, there were already versions of this in the Bibliotheca of Pseudo-Apollodorus (I'm talking about Callidice). And giving an unpopular opinion here: while I agree that Calypso in The Odyssey is undeniably an SA situation, Circe is more debatable than you guys like to make it out to be, it isn't undeniably. Both the interpretation that there was SA and the interpretation that there was no SA are valid, because the text itself doesn't make it explicit as it does with Calypso. In Circe's case, not necessarily not making it a relationship with SA makes it something that deviant from the myths.
Again because I don't want to be misinterpreted: what I'm taking issue with here isn't the disappointment in how Odysseus was portrayed. This is valid! I'm questioning the idea that this was done because they don't know about the myths or that it was something specific to Odysseus and Penelope. They know the myths, they just purposefully choose not to be completely authentic. They have nothing specific to Odysseus and Penelope, which is precisely why they aren't exempt from the changes they also made to other characters. They are no more special than Persephone, Hades, Zagreus, Melinoe (to name a few who had changes), that's why they receive the same treatment (that is, being changed).
I would never recommend Hades to someone who wanted complete authenticity to the myths. I wouldn't do that because I KNOW that's not the game's purpose. I thought everyone else knew too. You don't go to a vegetarian restaurant that you knew was vegetarian because you had eaten there before and be surprised because they don't have real meat dishes, be serious.
#Hades game#Hades II#Hades 2#Supergiant#Really surprised at how surprised people are#Sounding a bit combative here maybe#Birdie.txt
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I took an interest in The Bad Batch around the tailend of S2. It's not news to Tumblr that I almost slept on this show. And I cannot thank Caleb Dume enough for being the reason why I pressed the play button for this one. While I haven't been around for most of its active run, and I wish I had been, the last year has been among the best months of my life.
This show challenged my morals, and taught me lessons that I will forever take with me.
Tech taught me to embrace and take pride in who I am. I now think that I am not something that needs to be cured. I needed to be understood and accepted. He taught me that we deserved to be loved and be allowed to live the way we want to (as long as we are not causing harm to ourselves or to others).
Hunter taught me that at the end of the day, we're all still humans. We make mistakes. We fail. But we can learn from them, and we can strive to be better. And I should also take care of my hair bec I cannot accept that a man in a galactic war have better hair than me (Okay, did you honestly think I'm gonna be serious this entire essay?)
Crosshair taught me that at the end of the day, we really are still humans. Sometimes, we make choices that not everyone will understand or agree to. Sometimes, we don't even understand our own choices. But we can learn from them, and we can strive to be better. And that I should also go to therapy bec istg my hand shakes like hell I always need to rely on a pen stabilizer when doing my artworks.
Wrecker taught me that in this world where we can be anything, always choose to be kind. He is a great man who would always be there for everyone, and I hope that one day, I can be that person too. He is afraid of heights, but he climbs and go on high places anyway. Like him, I should also start conquering my fears. Dear Wrecker, I did try conquering my fear of heights last March 9 but I can't. I will try again.
Echo taught me to always fight for the greater good. Almost two years ago, me and a group of people campaigned for a great tomorrow. With pink flags and pink balloons, we worked on our little thing I like to call our rebellion. Sadly, we lost. At times, I am thinking of just giving up bec that's democracy and I cannot go against the people's decision, but characters like Echo and the rest of Rogue One taught me that nothing should ever stop me for fighting for the people's rights and that my love for my fellow citizens should always come first before hatred.
And lastly, Omega taught me to be curious, or more likely to not be ashamed for being curious. Learn about the world. Learn about lots of things. We never know when we need it. While I could say be good at strategy and win 30 grand on card games, nahhh, I'm not that smart.
I also learned to reevalutate myself as an artist. This show taught me integrity. I had ranted about this lately but these characters challenged me in terms of art. I knew that the creators aren't best at proper representation. While I could draw them as they are in the show, I choose to stand for what is right, and represent them as properly as my skills could. In the more technical side, I became good at drawing armors. And this little Actors AU Draw Series taught me to be responsible; I tried my very best to create and post them on time. This increased my productivity.
But enough about me.
There's something I realized two nights ago; we, the fandom, are Bad Batchers ourselves. We can consider ourselves a family, but not one of us is the same and we're all interesting, and capable in our own unique ways. We can have our own opinion and stand about something and still coexist. Like our favorite charactera, we embrace and celebrate our differences.
This show may end. No more Bad Batch Eves, no more cryptic tweets that cause us to hyperventilate, no more Bad Batch Wednesdays but it will live on, through us.
I know there will be a day where we decrease in number, one by one, little by little, but still, the show will live on through our actions, our opinions, our choices we make after May 1, 2024 because I know that all of us were changed in some ways by these characters and this show.
To the crew, your cryptic tweets caused me sleepless nights, but thank you so, so much. It is through your hardwork that we had this wonderful show. Thank you for making every second of the past year so worthwhile and enjoyable for me and for everyone.
However this show will end, whether happy or sad, I am glad it happened. However short my time was with them, I am happy I had been here. However short my time with everyone in the fandom was or if some of you leave one day, still, thank you so much for being part of my life; I am so happy I met all of you.
To Clone Force 99, thank you. I've never loved anything like this before. May the Force be with you.
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Initial Thoughts on Chenford in 6x07
All right... I'm feeling... a lot at the moment, so just sharing my initial reactions before seeing anyone else's. I'm sure my feelings will evolve. Also this turned into a GD essay and I'm sorry.
The Good
Grey acknowledging that Lucy was going through a lot ABOVE & BEYOND the break up. I just wish he'd mentioned the shooting, too. Lucy deserves to be more than her relationship with Tim and I need to actually see that in the future.
Lucy laying out 2 key things in her conversation with Grey - how easily Tim walked away and that he had no right to make that decision for her
Prior to the last scene (see The Ugly below), I thought Tim's interactions with the therapist were reasonably well done; if only therapy was that easy in real life lol
"You've always got a home with me" - I loved this final scene between Lucy and Tamara. I don't really have feelings either way about Tamara at this point, and this still hit me right in the heart.
Smitty's poll made me laugh, but also another solid indicator that these writers / producers do in fact really enjoy laughing at the expense of the fandom and shippers (which, whatever, I don't care that they do, I'd prob do the same; but it does irk me when people act like these writers should be worshipped because of all the things they "give" us)
The Tim
"I'm not depressed. I broke up with her."
"I was her TO." Not her friend, cuz god knows Tim has yet to deal with the fact that he started banging his former Rookie I suppose.
I dunno whether to put this in The Good or The Bad at this point; it depends on where they take it, so instead Tim gets a section all about why he's a dick.
To be clear, I do not like that Tim is a dick. But I actually do kind of like that it is very clear TO THE AUDIENCE that Tim is being kind of a dick. Do I still think people will bend over backwards to defend him? Of course they will.
From my perspective, I love Tim, I understand that he thinks he's doing the right thing, and has lots and lots of trauma. I've never seen Tim as a character that magically healed at some point between Seasons 1 & 5 (please see his storyline with his dad, his ongoing issues with UC work and unwillingness to confront or deal with them, his feelings about therapy historically, his inability to dump Ashley, etc. etc.). He's never been perfect and he doesn't need to be.
All of those things are true. None of those things give him a free pass to be kind of a dick. He still has to take accountability for how he treated Lucy (which, to be clear, was like sh*t).
The Bad
Lucy being petty AF with the invites to Tamara's dinner - let her be ANGRY, but give me villain Lucy over this dumb sh*t.
Lucy having no one other than Grey to talk to.
Others acting like Lucy is actually kind of pathetic (why do these writers love sh*tting on her so much? girl could not be down and kicked any harder at this point) -- Celina / Nolan and the double dumping crap, Lucy thinking Grey paid actors and him telling her she was out of her damn mind
The last interaction between Lucy and Tim. I am so angry for her. I needed to see that from her, but instead it felt kind of like her being dumped / a kicked puppy all over again. We got it, thanks. What's next? Lucy being incredibly happy with the hottest man on earth? I'm here for it tbh. Lucy plotting Tim's murder? Also here for it at this point. LOL.
The Ugly
I could not hate the implication of that final scene with Tim and the therapist and the door shutting more. There was ZERO reason they couldn't have had him show up during the day, and it actually disgusts me that they are pushing this line again, but especially with Tim. I am literally NEVER this dramatic, but in this case I really hope they did that to just get a reaction, because if anything were to actually happen between Tim and the therapist, I'd be 100% done with this ship and show as would a whole lot of the audience (I think). If I kept watching, it would only be to see Lucy be absurdly happy without Tim.
Well, what'd I miss? What did y'all think?
#chenford#the rookie#the rookie spoilers#see lana ramble#no one tell the writers that women can have storylines that are not about BABIES
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When you first meet them
Haruka Sakura
The memories of him spiralled in your mind effortlessly, it's like he managed to implant a part of himself in your head so you'd never forget about him, even if your ex-boyfriend had dumped you for good.
Your body leaned on the railing of the balcony of your home, you wished it all went away, as tears began escaping your eyes and fall down to the concrete ground.
"Huh? Is it raining?" A voice peered out from underneath your feet. Blinking away you immediately shot your eyes out to the bottom. It was late at night and you didn't understand who in the world would be out this late.
A boy with white and black divided hair raised his head up to the sky wondering what those droplets of water had fell onto the peak of his head. He continued humming until he was now staring into the eyes of a random girl making him jump harshly.
"Ah? ...Huh?" He blinked this time making the girl wipe her face confused at why he remained speaking with her.
"Why're you, crying?" He asked.
Suddenly, she blinked away, is this boy really dense? "...I don't know...?" She said back awkwardly. The two stared at each other. She had never encountered this type of situation like this ever in her life. He looked away unsure what to say.
"Well, just... don't, I guess."
You then laughed at how random his solution was which causing him to look back at you in surprise that he managed to uplift your mood without even trying.
After that, you bumped into him the next day.
Hajime Umemiya
Being a transfer student to the school of many delinquents caught many people's attention of the townsfolk causing you to be the most popular talk for a while before you even moved.
Submitting your application form and moving into a secluded area of the town, people didn't come to acknowledge your whereabouts having been so hectic is the Main Street where everyone knew each other. The reason why you transferred to a delinquent school was purely for punishment, after riddling yourself up in a hefty amount of fights at your old school, your parents had enough and sent you away from abroad with your grandparents, what they didn't understand is that you were fighting for justice, not for the enjoyment.
When Umemiya began reading your application, he noticed you purposely or accidentally left your gender blank (you did it on purpose to hide your sex of being a female for the courtesy of the male dominated school), he tried doing a background check on you but nothing helpful appeared for him, and seeing that your application was pretty much legit, he accepted it without much thought, Hiragi had yelled at him but Umemiya only argued back that, "They look like a good person, even if they so happen to become a threat, I'll stop them personally."
The short-tempered man downed stomach pills while saying profanities to himself. After a week had gone by, you were instructed to meet the Top person on the school roof. Since you knew you were now in a fighting school, you were ready for anything but once you got up there, the least you were expecting was a man covered in dirt planting tomatoes and then inviting you to come join him.
He ended up introducing himself and finally took a better look at you, you wore the boys uniform but your physique was still slimmer and toned than his, and right off the bat, he noticed how your face had very feminine features, it almost like you weren't a guy.
And he knew immediately.
"Hajime Umemiya." He raised out his right hand while his left lazily rested on the side of his hip. The edges of his face were dusted with dirt, the white shirt he wore was stained with the brown pebbles colour, and his pants seemed worn out in certain areas.
Hesitantly, you took his hand as he gave you a handshake nearly getting you off your feet.
"I'm already aware of your name, [Last Name] correct?" He smiled warmly. You nodded to ensure him without saying a word till he motioned you to where the numerous plants in large rows of boxes grew in.
"I recommend you to roll up your sleeves, we're going to be here for a while." He turned back at the last second catching you off guard with his cheeky smile. You weren't sure what he was referring about until you spent your first few hours in Bofurin getting to know him.
He eventually told you he knew, you panicked, but thankfully, he promised to keep it a secret.
Toma Hiragi
The constant nitpicking of a ghastly woman kept on his trail which made him want to disappear in plain sight whenever you caught him outside of Bofurin. A week ago, Toma had saved you from a gang threatening you for months. You became their dog, giving them your money, getting them things they asked for, and staying with them if it meant they wouldn't hurt your friends and family. When Hiragi and his second in command took it upon themselves to free you, it turned into a whole fight leading you to get involved with the school, and most importantly, your saviour was non other than the shining knight in armour, Toma.
It was late at night after walking back from going to one of the gangs party they made you go to along with the rest of them, inside the gathering, the only reason why the gang made you come was for you to be their entertainment purpose. They made you wear certain things, say specific comments, and by the end of the night, they let you go after pouring the large pint of juice on your head. Your feet clanked against the cold ground, dressed ridiculously in a torn up shirt, the pants you wore were ripped to pieces, numerous holes, and scratches found air touching the flesh of your legs.
It was embarrassing to live like this but you couldn't do anything. You refused to turn back home so instead you find yourself sitting on a swing alone at the playground, barely any lights flowed in the area and the silence was your only friend. Your head hung low, looking at the holes in your shoes, they gang had made you dress up as a homeless person and made you beg them for food and money as if you were a poor commoner. The memories from the event made you shut your eyes tighter, and hung your body low on the swing set, wishing it would all just come to an end.
"...Please, help me." Your voice whispered out barely forming the words you said.
The sudden footsteps startled your mood causing you to shoot your head back up and look at the person who began making their way up to you. The darkness shadowed the mysterious person, scaring your nerves. Was it someone from the gang? Was it your friends? Was it your Mother or Father? You didn't know, and you could only wait in silence like a stray kitten unaware of any survival skills.
Your eyes remained focused on the being till he filled your vision. It wasn't a gang member nor anyone you knew, but yet, it was an old teenage boy in a schools uniform holding a bag of groceries in his left hand. The two of you maintained eye contact with each other, his eyes lingered over your body, not menacingly like how the men in the gang did, but worriedly at your state.
Finally, his cold hazel eyes shot back to yours making you slightly jump, "You called for help, didn't you?" He started making you blink, "Tell me, what happened to you?"
You blinked once more at him, nearly finding shock and unknown feelings you haven't had in a very long time, "Uh...h." Your voice strained itself, unsure if you should feel threatened by his hard persona but his kind personality.
Slowly, he began walking closer to you till he was face to face with you body. You looked back at him, gawking at his height till he finally crouched down to the ground, his groceries hitting the sand as you stared back at him clutching your arms together even tighter. The short spiky blonde-hair and the way his eyes stared back into yours softly made you rethink a lil your earlier assumptions on you.
"Tell me, what happened to you?" He asked again, this time softly.
Ren Kaji
You two were young too understand that your rivalry would only last till you eventually grew older and finally had some piece of mind to give each other space. From the very start, you two were first introduced to each other after being in the same class. No one quite understood why you had no friends but still didn't bother to commend their efforts in getting to know you, but it was fine in your opinion, especially when the entire class knew about your competitiveness with the hot headed boy in the class, Kaji.
It was years ago since the two of you first met, the moment he finally broke you out of your shell and realized how much of a nuisance you were, he left, expecting you to do the same. But with the bitterness of your heart and head, you let it get the best of you till unexpectedly and constantly began to one up him. It became so normalized in the classroom that even the teacher was aware of the both of your nitpicking at each other. Almost every single day in pre school, the both of you were seen arguing and fighting over whatever till you never showed up to class ever again one day.
Before you moved, Kaji and you had gotten into your first ever physical fight. It was after losing your most precious bracelet, you had blamed the black-haired boy at the time for stealing it. You spoke to no one other than him so it was only reasonable for you to assume that. The boy ultimately defended himself.
"I didn't take it!"
"Yes you did!"
Soon after, you physically reached into any of his pockets trying to find it but he kept pushing you away. It continued till the both of you had forgotten about it and came to a point where now the both of you were just fighting.
The teacher had spotted the both of you fighting after the class began surrounding the two of you wrestling each other on the dirt. Both of you had bruises, clothing ruined, ripped up and dirtied. But for the first time, when Kaji looked back over to you for the last time, you had been crying.
After that, you never returned again.
It wasn't until years had flew by, Kaji was now in second-year of Highschool attending Bofurin until he heard the news that a new family was moving right beside his apartment complex.
He didn't think much of it for a while until it was late at night and he finally returned back home, the both of you stood face to face with each other in shock.
The image of you holding groceries in your hands while boxes outside of your complex continued unpacked stood at the side of your doorstep made him now finally become interested in the family moving in next to his.
"You are..." His voice widowed out making him nearly drop your groceries. The image of the different colour in his hair, his headphones resting around his neck while the key to his apartment rested in his hand.
"[First name]?"
"Ren?"
Taiga Tsugeura
Walking towards your school, you fingers clattered over the text box, telling your Mother what you ate before breakfast annoyed that you already told her right before you left but it seems like she had forgotten again. Not paying to your surroundings, right when you turned to the corner, the only thing you were face to face with was a big wall nearly deflecting you as your forehead crashed onto the hard cushioning.
Cushioning?
The phone in your hand crashed onto the floor as another clanking noise was heard.
"Tsugeura! I told you to watch where you're going!" An unknown voice called behind the thing you bumped into. Your hand kept on your forehead, wincing at the pain that seemed to fade away rather quickly. Usually, bumping your head on a wall would take a while for the pain to go away, this time, it was a quick and short feeling? You didn't understand what was going on until you opened your eyes back up. In front of you stood a large orange-haired man, his white headband keeping his frizzy hair in place. He stared back at you in silence while your facial expression stared back in fear.
"Um, hello—"
"YAAA!" The dreading scream caused the other males behind the large boy to jump up as well.
The man presumably called Tsugeura slightly winced his eyes out of confusion.
The image of an extremely well defined teenage boy wearing a tang top underneath his unbuttoned uniform shirt scared you shitless. His pants were rolled up, showing off the pure muscle in his calves accompanied by its his plain flip flops and wrist bands. Needless to say, you automatically assumed he was a delinquent ready to beat you up for bumping into him.
Instantly, you backed up meters away from him, putting both your fists up in a defensive manner, "A b-b-bad guy!" You continued to yell causing the orange-haired man to twist his head in confusion until he noticed your fighting position, he didn't understand what was happening till his eyes focused on the way your fists and hands were up. In a split second he smiled happily before raising his fists up in the air as well.
"Wow, would you like to challenge me to a due—!? GHHK!"
Behind him, a startled-blonde haired student and a pink-haired boy with numerous piercings on his face had punched the back of the large boys head making you gawk at the sight. Your eyes blinked continuously as you heart rate began to slow down, in front of you, the orange-haired man that was once facing off you had started to get scolded by all of the people around him which you assumed was his friends. Soon after, a man with an eyepatch and exquisite earrings approached you with a kind smile while holding out your phone for you to retrieve.
"I apologize on behalf of his behaviour, we didn't mean any harm when accidentally bumping in to you, and here's your phone." He smiled with his eyes closed. Still trying to process what was happening, the background noises of the Tsugeura getting scolded by all of them, you took back your phone from the same boy who wore the exact uniform as the rest of them walked away to where the orange-haired man was getting jumped. All of them calmed down by his presence and from what you saw, the eyepatch boy whispered something in his ear before looking back at you smiling. By now, your heart slowed down as you watched the muscular teenager approach you sturdily.
Once he was face to face with you, you looked back at him with an unsure face until he suddenly bowed down causing a gust of wind to flush your face.
"Forgive me! I wasn't watching where I was going and immediately thought you wanted to fight even though you were scared!" He shouted out loud causing you to blink repeatedly at his apology. He then stood back up, placing his face extremely close to yours at what seemed like an uncomfortable position. He was waiting for your response.
After a few seconds of keeping eye contact with him, you blinked away before you spoke, "It's, okay. I apologize too." You admitted, this time he was surprised, he stood back up as he watched you gently bow down, "Forgive me for yelling at you and assuming you were a bad guy."
Once you got back up, you realized he continued staring at you with no shame or remorse causing you to grow shy, the others had taken note of this and began looking back at each other to see if the other knew what was happening. They didn't.
Suddenly, the boy in front of you spoke out again, "Hey.... you're, pretty cute?" He said almost as if he was questioning how good you looked.
Instantly, the time seemed to pause as silence overshadowed the group behind him while you remained in shock, did a random Highschool boy just compliment you?
"C-can I have your number??!!" He asked sparing no time which made you and the others jump even higher.
Mitsuki Kiryu
The face of the numerous piercing plastered on his face made you nearly want to jump out of your position. Not to mention his long dyed pink hair, accompanied with the rugged clothing and the fact he was wearing a uniform from the school of delinquents made you even regret ever deciding to take his request of looking for a tutor.
The two of you had met in a library for the first time as an introduction, all you knew he was about your age, possibly a little younger due to the fact you were just a year higher than him. Even so, why is a mere first year student even allowing you run in your mind in circles trying to figure out if he was going to turn you tutor sessions into just harassment sessions.
He sat in the seat in front of you with his cat-like smile, "I apologize for the wait, I was caught up in a fight earlier." He said ever too happily. He continued on to question you but your thoughts began running wild.
'Fight! That must mean he was fighting with somebody?! How would one even get caught up in that situation? Was he just bothering someone for fun? Perhaps they bumped into him which aggravated him! Then he must have took them by the collar and shoved them to a wall anD THEN HE—!'
"...Are you okay...?" He asked.
Your eyes blinked, making eye contact with him. That's when you noticed his eyes were the exact same shade of emerald green.
"Green."
Silence overfilled the two of you as he sat there awkwardly.
"...What?" He stifled a laugh causing you to finally understand what you had just said.
The heat began rushing to your cheeks as your eyes widened as far as they could go before he began to speak out once again.
"My name is Mitsuki Kiryu. I'm hoping your actual name isn't Green..." His laugh had peeked out again.
That's when you realized he had initially asked you for your name.
Hayato Suo
You hated being graceful, you hated being a well kept women otherwise, it would be lady-like. You hated it all. So when your Mother had introduced you to her friend's son at a very young age, the both of you were the exact opposites of each other.
He always wanted to stay inside and read books about mythical stories about Chinese culture while you on the other hand had always wanted to play outside in the grass to make mud pies. The two of you never disliked each other, in fact, you got quite along during your youthful days. Both of your Mother's had decided to place you in the same elementary school, having done that, the both of you always grew along side each other. To others, your relationship to others was viewed as the impossible, none of them could figure out how the both of you were able to tolerate one another.
And yet, you never got into serious fights.
It wasn't up till secondary-school where your Mother found out that Suo wanted to attend a delinquent school. She didn't dare to place you there so that was when you continued to follow up in a nearby Highschool. Even though you two were separated, the both of you continued to make time for each other, and once his friends from his school had spotted the both of you hanging out on the weekend lead Nirei spread the information quickly.
#windbreaker#wind breaker#haruka sakura#haruka sakura x reader#hajime Umemiya#toma hiragi#ren kaji#taiga tsugeura#mitsuki kiryu#hayato suo#jo togame#tomiyama choji#hajime umemiya x reader#windbreakerxreader#wind breaker x reader
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is it over now? (was it over then?)
part three
part four: say the one thing i've been wanting
Steve had been dreading actually talking about this with Robin. He hadn't wanted to put her in a position to feel like she had to come out or stop using him as a plus one to industry parties to fuel rumors. Even as he and Eddie pretty publicly dated Robin's agent and most tabloids still thought Robin and Steve were a couple some even going as far as insinuating Eddie was Steve's side piece or their third.
"Steve, you're kind of scaring me, what's going on?"
"Birdie, I'm only telling you this because I can't not anymore but I want you to know nothing is your fault and I literally don't need you to do anything. I just need to be able to talk to my best friend and in order to do that I kind of have to get through this uncomfortable part," Steve answered.
"Anything, Steve. Whatever you need," Robin said.
"Okay, so Eddie and I kind of broke up because Eddie assumed I was cheating on him with Nance when she came to visit earlier this year. He got really upset and kind of blocked me from any way of contacting him so there was no way to clear anything up after he left but he definitely assumed I was cheating on him and he wrote that fucking song and I just need to talk to you without leaving out this really huge massive reason why Eddie left and why I still feel like total shit," Steve rushed to cover the main points.
"Steve, hun," Nance comforted. She probably guessed something else was going on but had been understanding enough not to press Steve for more.
"Steve, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault," Robin started catastrophizing.
"Can you please stop saying my name. It's kind of freaking me out," Steve joked, "Robs, it's totally not your fault at all. It was a shitty situation I could have handled better and so could Eddie but there's really nothing to do about it know because I can't explain it to him and he clearly doesn't want me to so we are moving on, all right?" Steve attempted to keep the energy light.
"If that's what you want, sure babe," Robin said.
"I just want to stop going down Tik Tok rabbit holes of Eddie's stupid song without being able to complain to you about how fucking tired I am of not being able to do anything," Steve said, "and also I want so much ice cream and a really stupid TV marathon with my best girls and maybe roast Eddie's new song a little bit."
Nancy had already pulled up doordash and they were soon on their way to eating a smorgasbord of snacks and ice cream while watching reality TV and eventually dissolving into a karaoke session initially overdramatically singing along to Eddie's new single and ending with some old school Taylor (her version of course). Steve was feeling better than he had in a long time and started getting out of the fog he'd been in since Eddie had left.
Eventually, Steve started answering his agent's emails again and submitting tape for different roles. He'd gotten a part in a small indie film in Italy and Steve was pretty ready to take it. It was an interesting part, it was literally away from everyone he knew, the director was kind of weird and didn't let his cast use socials while filming and encouraged only phone calls and old school letters to really get into the period mindset. It was honestly kind of a perfect next project and it helped that the script was actually kind of great.
"As long as you aren't going because you're running away, Steve. You know I don't want you to leave and you shouldn't feel like you have to," Robin said as he was starting to pack his bags.
"I really like the project. It's a good script and I get to get out of my own head for a while. Kind of perfect honestly. The shoot is pretty short its only like four weeks so I won't be gone that long and you and Nancy can keep holing up in my apartment without me getting in the way!" Steve answered.
"You're never in the way, dingus," Robin nudged him and then brought him into a hug, "we'll just miss you kiddo."
"I'll miss you too, Bobbie. Now let me go so I can pack." Steve pulled away with a bigger smile than he'd had in weeks.
@lololol-1234 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @zombiethingy (if you wanna be tagged in future parts feel free to comment! happy to add people)
#steve x eddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie fic#steddie#don't worry robin will fix it#angst#angst with a happy ending#rockstar eddie#actor steve#was it over then ficlet
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I had a dream last night that I ran for president. In the Democratic primary I won California, Alaska, "Washington" (which was directly north of California) and another state whose name I don't remember because it doesn't actually exist, but it was east of Washington along California's northern border (you have to imagine the two of them shaped approximately like triangles, making up an approximate square directly to CA's north).
There was a brief moment when I was in the lead. I knew it wouldn't last, but I remember capitalizing on the opportunity to proudly tell my parents "I'm the front-runner in the race for president of the United States!". Again, this was supposedly the primary, but I recall the electoral map showing blue for the establishment Democrat, red for the Republican candidate (Trump I think), and yellow for me. So maybe it was the national election; I think this is just one of those dream inconsistencies.
Anyway, for whatever reason me and most of my campaign staff were down in a cave. We didn't have internet access anymore, so I was relying on my campaign manager (who was above ground) to clue me in to what was going on. We were in an upper chamber of the cave, and there had been some kind of near-disaster in a lower chamber where the fire department had to come and rescue a bunch of people who were trapped. I don't remember if any of them were part of my campaign staff. Anyway, as the establishment Democrat took the lead, I remember talking on the phone—a big, thick, 90s-style cellphone—with my campaign manager about what I should do. Should I give some sort of statement to the press about it? Should I congratulate the winner on Twitter? He said no, no, don't worry about it; everyone knows you're down in a cave and don't have service, so they can't possibly expect that.
I have no idea why we were in a cave, if it was intentional or we were stuck there. I guess we were just in a cave!
Anyway, then disaster struck! One of my staffers found a bunch of people in need of rescue in our (upper) chamber of the cave! Now, this wasn't as dire as the earlier rescue. These people were much easier to get to. They were like, sort of hanging upside-down from a horizontally suspended rope, like clothes on a clothes line, basically. I don't know how they got that way but they were in a dire state from hanging upside-down for some long. Some of my staffers insisted they could rescue the people themselves (I think they were worried that calling in the fire department again would be viewed as wasteful and damage my campaign). They managed to get some of the people down from the clothes line. I asked my campaign manager what to do (I was still on the phone with him) and he was like "no, call the fire department!". So he put me through to the fire department and I told them what was going on.
You have to understand throughout these events that I'm like, me. I have no idea how to run an electoral campaign, I'm 100% relying on my campaign manager for every cue, and I'm really nervous about figuring out the proper etiquette for everything. When I was asking him about whether I should congratulate the winner on Twitter you have to imagine it in this sort of tone. Like, first day on the job, nervous "I'm following your lead here" energy. And when I get on the phone with the fire department I'm super awkward (I've never called them before!) and as I'm explaining the situation I'm thinking like "good, good, that was normal, I sound normal to the fire department right now".
Anyway then they come down into the cave and start rescuing people. I get back on the phone with my campaign manager and he tells me confidently "look, here's what we do: on Monday you're gonna give a press conference. You'll announce that your bid for the presidency is over, congratulate the winners, and reiterate your policy positions." I don't remember what else he said about it, but basically this was the most graceful way to end the campaign and keep my political career strong. I was a popular candidate with lots of youth support and energy behind me, so it was gonna be easy to parley that into later success. Now, I didn't want a further political career—this campaign was 100% a one-off—but I agreed the press conference would be a good idea. Unfortunately that would mean I had to write a speech by Monday, which was annoying.
Anyway, the establishment Democrat won in the end, and turns out it was Obama.
Then I woke up.
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I've read hundreds of Star Trek TOS fics by now and it never ceases to amuse me how many different ways there are to fuck up Spock's characterization...now hold on just a minute - this post has a more interesting point than “fanfic writers stupid”, I promise you.
Every time, it's a spin on the massacre wheel. It's kind of amazing. Will he be overly emotional to the point where he's not himself anymore? Will he be so cold it's unpleasant and kind of hard to understand how he's lived to this point? Will he be extremely horny for no good reason? Will he speak in a way that sounds complety wrong?
I chuckle and shake my head. Of course, I KNOW what Spock is like, and MY interpretation of him is the most perfect and correct one. Obviously. He's just a very nuanced character, formed by many people in an unconventional way, with traits that seem to contradict each other at first but ultimately form a rich and unique character that so many people fell in love with specifically because he's so complicated...
Or...is he?
Let's entertain the idea that there isn't one correct interpretation of Spock, that all of these messy bits of characterization are not part of a bigger picture, but...just what they are: a product of many people with starkly different visions, working on a show that refuses to properly develop its characters. What then? Well, then Spock is a Rorschach test. Each viewer connects the random dots in their own way, and ignores the ones they don't like.
Let's use an example: me! In my interpretation of Spock (the most correct one, of course) he is, first of all, gay and on the asexual spectrum, reserved, largely uninterested in casual flirting or sex. When he is interested in the aforementioned things, he tends to be quite ashamed of it.
Makes sense, right? I can show you plenty of evidence for why that could be true. However, in the beginning of the first bloody season, Uhura sings a song about how Spock is actually kind of a heartthrob who likes to drive women insane with how hot he is, and Spock smiles. He smiles at her, as if agreeing and being very amused by all this! This interaction goes against pretty much everything I think about Spock. So what do I do? I explain it away in the most bizzare fucking way possible. See, Uhura and Spock are friends (there is no evidence for this), and Uhura knows everything I've just told you about him (through telepathy I guess? Not like he'd ever tell her!) and she's just trolling him (why would she do that? That is NOTHING like Uhura!). I need to do some Olympics-level mental gymnastics here, the opposite of Occam's razor.
“But Danny,” I hear you say, “it's just the start of the show! They hadn't figured out his character yet!”
To which I say: you can say that about anything! You can blame it all on a bad writer for that episode, and ignore virtually any scene that doesn't jive with your headcanons. It's there, and I can't ignore it.
So...how am I different from the people that want Spock to be thar heartthrob Uhura is singing about? That evidence is as much a part of canon as my favorite lines. Well, I'm not any different, that's the thing. And all those writers I complained about also have a point.
It's kind of a nihilistic take, I know, but maybe the reason Spock is such a cultural icon is because he is...whatever you want him to be: just concrete enough to spur on your imagination, yet vague and contradictory enough to let your brain fill in the gaps.
Don't get me wrong: I absolutely do not believe in this. In my mind, it just so happens that I'm one of the, like, 5 people ever who truly understood Spock (and one of them is Jim Kirk himself). But I still think it's something worth thinking about next time you're mad at a fic.
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Hi! I have a myriad of minor chronic conditions and symptoms, but nothing that's actually been identifiable enough to be diagnosed by a doctor. That's a relevant piece of information, because there's a character who I'm writing with more severe/debilitating versions of some of my own symptoms, and I'm struggling with giving him any actual defined diagnoses because of it. The actual question here is: If I'm basing these symptoms off of things that are happening with my own body, and the character is not in a situation where he'd get a diagnoses in-universe, is there a reason I can't just leave it as a mystery?
I suppose the main reason I'm struggling with the question in the first place is that upping the severity of the symptoms in question means that, unlike myself, the character will be using mobility aids, which makes me feel like I should do more research on why he'd be using them. I have no idea why, once in a blue moon, my right leg just decides to refuse to hold my weight for 10-45 seconds, but I do know that if I know that if it happened more regularly/for longer periods of time I'd probably invest in a cane due to instability walking. I'll be posting this work in a space where people will be able to ask me questions about it directly and I can already feel the comments being typed lol. So, I feel like I should have an answer beyond just "His symptoms are based off my own and unfortunately I don't have a diagnoses", but like... do I actually or am I just getting in my head about this?
Hi,
It’s completely okay to have a character who doesn’t have a specific condition or diagnosis you can point to if you’re basing it off your own life experience.
The truth is that this happens all the time. I also don’t really know why my knee is awful and sometimes can’t hold my weight or is incredibly painful to bend, and I’ve been to doctors (who had suggestions but no specifics) and was prescribed physical therapy. I did the PT. It didn’t do much, but I tried it.
You clearly have an experience with your conditions and symptoms and just because you haven’t gotten a diagnosis doesn’t mean your disabling symptoms aren’t real. It also doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll never get a diagnosis, either.
I completely understand your hesitancy, though, because the truth is that some disabled characters are created with a vague idea and end up having some sort of Ambiguous Disorder that is just for plot reasons. That can be harmful and ignore the realities of real-life conditions and disabilities just for something to be more Appealing or Plot Relevant.
But it doesn’t look like that’s what you’re doing at all—you are in fact pretty well-researched, because you’re basing your character primarily in your lives experience and, in good faith, making them not exactly the same as your own.
“His symptoms are based on my own, and I don’t currently have a specific diagnosis” is a reasonable answer. It’s true, and it’s not dismissive or misleading in any way. You can also add “I did research on how A and B would make someone need/do X or Y,” as needed. Like specific mobility aid research, or potential conditions, or related symptoms.
Overall, you can feel confident in your creation of your character and that your depiction is reasonable, and it also might make you more comfortable to answer questions if you feel equipped to elaborate about the symptoms or the aids rather than about the diagnosis.
Hope this helps! :)
— Mod Sparrow
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Do you really think reverse flash is in love with Barry? I don't mean for this to sound snarky I'm just confused. Thawne killed Barry's mom how can you say he's in love with him? I like all the things you post and rb about them I really enjoy the ship. I just don't get it can you explain?
The question "how can Eobard be in love with Barry if he hurt him" has both a short answer and a long answer. The short answer is that people are very much capable of hurting the ones they love, on purpose or by accident.
The long answer is that Eobard is a deeply disturbed individual who has never been the recipient of love, and because of that and of many extremely traumatic events (including but not limited to being brainwashed in prison, being trapped in a timeless limbo alone for years, being tortured and treated like cattle and put in sensory deprivation for ludicrous amounts of time, dying at the hands of the only person who had ever shown compassion towards him), he has a skewed perception of a lot of things and is extremely bad at emotional regulation.
Moreover, and this is something which is easy to overlook but it's actually very important, Eobard is not human. His actions are informed by his traumas, but the way he approaches pretty much everything (including his "problems" with Barry) isn't done the way a human would.
Eobard is a timeless, deathless creature which embodies one of the driving forces of reality itself (the Negative Speed Force). He lived probably more than a few hundred years considering how he keeps running around through time doing stuff, and how he keeps going back to watch past events and adjust the way he will interact with the timeline next.
He knows the huge impact that killing Nora will have on Barry, but from a moral and ethical standpoint it's not a big deal for him. Nora is less than a speck in time, an NPC who served her role for that briefest moment in which she existed. She is a big deal because she is a big deal for Barry, not because she's meaningful in any other way.
"But then he did want to hurt Barry when he killed her" Yes, absolutely he wanted to. Eobard didn't "just" kill Nora Allen - he went back in time and changed everything about Barry's life, made it so he had no friends, made him grow isolated and insecure and shy, lacking confident in his abilities. And he did it because he is very, VERY angry with Barry for one, and also because isolating Barry makes it easier for them to grow closer.
And it worked! Back in the Silver Age, when Nora and Henry were alive and not in prison, Barry couldn't be bothered with Eobard. For him Eo was just a random criminal with superspeed, and sure he was threatening because speedsters always are, but not that much of a big deal.
Now? Now Eobard is a primary element in Barry's life, a constant he's had to deal with basically since birth, someone who rewritten his entire life to make himself part of it in an indelible manner.
It worked because now Barry is more likely to fall for Eobard's manipulation, to listen to him, to just accept that he's THERE because he's always been. Near the end of Running Scared, Eobard tells him "run away with me", and Barry says yes.
Back in the Silver Age there would have been no way.
It's worth mentioning that to understand Eobard, you need to understand that everything he does, every single thing, has the end goal of being with Barry. Whether he's trying to protect him or trying to hurt him or trying to manipulate him, whether they manage to work together against a common enemy or they're on opposite sides of the fight, every single one of Eobard's actions is motivated by love (his personal, inhuman version of love).
"But if that is the case, then why doesn't he just tell Barry 'I love you'?"
Two reasons, and one is meta.
The in-story reason is that every time Eobard tried to do something good without masking it as horrible, it went sideways and backfired spectacularly - mix that with poor emotional regulation, and you have someone who's not going to be able to handle rejection and is outright scared of doing good things openly. I think if he told Barry "I love you" and Barry reacted badly it would hurt too much. Also he wants Barry to understand, and thanks to a couple of competent writers who sadly don't work on Flash anymore, we were getting there.
The meta reason is because DC is homophobic, plain and simple. Eobard DID SAY I love you many times except with words, because DC editorials won't let him. That's it. It's the same reason why Joker can't tell Batman "I love you" and has to do weird ass word plays and even more weird ass attention seeking maneuvers. They're stunted by reasons which no one but DC itself can control.
So in short. How can Eobard be in love with Barry and hurt him so much at the same time? Because he doesn't have many ways of express love, he has a hard time being caring, and every time he allows himself to be soft it backfires. Because he wants Barry to belong to him and will isolate him and make him suffer to get there. Because he's angry with Barry -- Barry hurt him too, rejected him and left him alone and refused to accept that Eobard is his lightning rod for a long time.
Eobard easily lashes out when he's hurt, and the less grounded he is the more vicious and violent he turns.
"But Zero, how can Eobard think that Barry will ever forgive him for having killed his mom?"
I don't believe Eobard was ever looking for forgiveness, but fun fact. Barry did forgive him already. Barry is not human either, and at this point I think he'd forgive Eobard just about anything, and despite how difficult everything is between them, he really wants to get to a place where they don't need to hurt each other.
The problem with this, and it's one of the reasons why they have so many issues communicating, is that Barry is in denial about many things - about being the Speed Force, about Eobard being in love with him, about how they're two constants through time and two sides of the same coin and basically can't exist without each other, about how they're each other's lightning rod.
Their relationship is very complex, absolutely not what it looks like at first glance, and it's colored by all the hurt there is between them. But again, ultimately understanding Eobard is understanding that love is what motivates him, even when he does the most horrible unhinged things.
In conclusion, have this panel from The Flash Age which is one of my favorite Flash comics, in which you can see the way these two manage to trust each other and fall into the right rhythm, despite the oceans of misunderstandings and suffering between them.
Pages from The Flash Age, by Joshua Williamson. In which Barry tells Eobard to "do the right thing", and Eobard just does it.
#thanks for asking anon#you didn't sound snarky at all no worries#I tried to be as exhaustive as possible without writing a wall of text#idk how well I managed#I just know I could talk about these two forever#my asks#eobarry#barry allen#eobard thawne#my meta
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I'm gonna make one last post about this topic to get out everything from my system:
Tommy fans seem all to eager to bury his past and talk about his growth when this curtesy is never extended to female love interests (and Ana, Ali, Natalia and Marisol never acted anywhere close to how he did in the begins episodes). He was absolutely terrible to Chimney and then only stopped pretending he's not invisible when Chimney saved his life. Even then he gave no apology, just a thank you and decided to move on as if his past behaviour haven't happened. And then he acted the same with Hen - pretending she's invisible and making little side comments (I'm not saying only he did that, the everyone in the old 118 is guilty of this) and he and Sal only decided to respect her and actually aknowledge her when she saved made a choice and saved someone's life, who would have been dead thanks to the old captain. And there was no apology to Hen either. The old 118 was a backwards and regressive place, but this an explanation to his behaviour not an excuse.
People can argue how not everything needs to be shown, but I feel like it's hard to make amends when the other party is not even owning up his own behaviour enough to even apologise to the people he hurt with his behaviour.
The date with Buck was also not a great first queer experience. Having your date tell you how he understands working in a macho line of work and not being out to calm your anxiety, than make little side comments when you're not ready to come out to your best friend who just showed up by coincidence is not cool. (As a queer person, I don't think Buck put Tommy back into the closet, it wasn't like Eddie knew they were on a date or Tommy is gay and yeah maybe the finding hot chick comment was unnecessary, but Buck was anxious long before Eddie showed up). Also I get why Tommy wanted to leave, but not telling until the Uber pulls up is also a shitty thing to do. Natalia also leaves Buck and people seem to hate her for it, but she comes back.
Also the Evan thing and calling Buck kid. I hate both things. Calling your date kid is weird and just why would you do that? And I know that Tommy calling Buck "Evan" is supposed to be cute, or special, but it just gives me the ick. It's not his prefered name
Also telling Buck how he's jelaous of the family dynamic of the 118 and then going for a kiss is certainly a choice on the part of the writers.
Tommy is character who had little to no development during the show - yeah they seem friendly in the Bobby begins episode, but do you want to be unfriendly to the guy who works with you and finally decided to not be a dick? and we're just supposed to believe he was always a good guy, who only acted the way he did because the old 118 was old school and he was figuring out his sexual identity?
He's not a character with good development or layers, he's a character who was a plot device to show how horrible work places that are considered macho to poc and women, and now they decided to bring him back for some reason as a first queer experience to Buck and act like him being gay excuses how he acted in the past
#911 abc#anti tommy kinard#anti bucktommy#I had write this out of my system#send me hate if you want but this is my opinion and it will not change it#also please don't bring up how the other characters made mistakes in the past#all of them actually made up for it#on screen!!
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Let's talk about Chayanne being a glass child. It seems that this has been a topic that has been noticed for some time, but I just notice the last friday! Xd
Probably because I'm a glass child myself, and yes I do kinn/kin(? Chay, so I take most of these behaviors as normal unconsciously (I had decided that I would use Tumblr only to upload drawings but since twitter didn't pay much attention to this I'll post it here too because I need to share my opinion with people).
First of all, what is a glass child?
It's a sibling of someone who needs extra attention/support. A child whos parents see right through them, like glass.
In this case Chay is a sibling of someone who is given extra attention most of the time, in most occasions not exactly because she needed it.
Chay is a glass child.
Theres no room to even try to discuss that.
Lullah is a kid who is constantly given extra attention. Whatever reasons it happens won't be important for this thing I'm written/sharing.
Lullah is seeing as the little sister. A little sister who needs, who must be protected above everything (which affects Lullah to some extent negatively but we won't focus on that this time). Lullah is seeing as someone weak. Someone who always will need help.
(I'm talking about must people on the server, yes including q!Philza, except, specifically, q!Missa).
Lullah is the little princess who must be protected.
Now, who is Chayanne?
Chay is the big brother.
The oldest.
The warrior.
The strong one
The protector of his siblings.
Chay must be strong, Chay must aim to be the strongest not just fiscally. Chay is forced to be this big, strong, brave leader who everybody can trust. Chay is expected to be the one wich his sibling can and must put to take every important decision if there's no adult around at the moment.
Chay is expected to be closer to act like an adult than a child.
When something dangerous happens Chay is not a priority. His sibblings are. Lullah is the priority. Philza must be sure that Lullah is fine before checking anyone else. Before checking if Chay is okey.
Because Chay is strong. Because Chay can take care of himself alone. Because Chay "don't need" that kind of attention to say it somehow.
I am a big sister, as I said before, a glass child too, so I have lived similar things, obviously not to a death or live situation but I understand the feeling. So, I'm gonna try to explain the feeling the best way I can for people who aren't a glass child.
As a big brother, as the warrior, the example, the leader, the protector he probably thinks that this kind of thinking is fine.
But I can assure it is not fine.
But I can't assure that Chay feels exactly like what I'm gonna said, because if he does feel like it, he would never show it to his dad therefore neither to us. He would do everything in his power to not show that he feels like this (I will explain why later). So I have no way of guaranteeing that he does feel like the following, either way he could feel this way and that's why we are talking about it.
Glass childs can feel jealous for theirs sibling. And it's an awful feeling. At the same time they can feel bad of being jealous of their sibling because they think that feeling like that is selfish. That They are being selfish by feeling that.
Because what right do they have to feel like that? Their sibling needs that attention. They can be fine without that attention. Thay must be fine without that attention. Because if they aren't, what kind of sibling are they?
Because is not like their sibling nor parents wants them to feel like they are being overlook. Because is not that their parents "loves them less". Is just because their sibling needs their parents attention more than them. And they must live with that. They must be good little kids that don't create more problems, more stress, nor to their sibling nor parents. Thats their job. To be one less problem.
The expectation of Chay is that he must be the one to fight for his sibling. Chay is expected to give everything in his power to assure the well being of Lullah.
Chay do like being strong, Chay do like to fight and protect. But when you are forced to the extreme of this things, of being strong all the time, of feeling the need to fight in every dangerous situation, to help, and to feel that you are always protecting and never being protected is exhausting.
As the big brother, the strongest, how could he tell ANYBODY that he is feeling exhausted of doing his job?
He can't show that that is making him feel sad, nor exhausted, nor any negative emotion.
Because he can't be a problem. Because he "doesn't" need more attention nor care of Phil.
Lullah is expected to be sentimental and open about everything she feels. It doesn't matter if it's sadness or happiness. It's expected for Talullah to show her emotions.
Chayanne is expected to be fine. Chay is expected to not show at the same extension his emotions as Lullah, nor his sadness, nor his fears nor any "negative" emotion. It is "normal" for Chay to not show such emotions. It's not something strange.
Because Chay sees his value on how well he can take care of his family, of Talullah.
He sees his value on how well he can perform as this big, strong, brave brother.
I will develop this using an example of Chay being treated as a glass child.
The last friday, Philza goes and saves Lullah first. Then Chay. This is not that big of a deal, but what is big deal is what he says when Tubbo started saying that he has a favorite.
"Out of this two, I know that Chayanne would be a little bit more okey being alone for a bit longer."
Chay is expected to be fine.
Chay must be capable of being fine.
Chay must be fine with Phil being more worried about Talullah than him.
Chay must be fine with Philza not being that worry about him because he has going to be okey.
And how does Chayanne react?
He said nothing. He literally didn't show any inmidiate reaction. He look at his dad for a moment and then look at what Lullah wanted to say. And just after Phil said that he is his little warrior, that he is strong, that he fight him and won he spoke.
He said that it was not great fighting Philza. And of course Phil said sorry... And that's it. Talullah is the one who mention (in a joke but still mention it) about Philza implying that he wasn't worry about Chay.
Chay is expected to be fine alone. To not need help as much as Lullah.
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Before I tell you about my request, I have to acknowledge that you are so FREAKING amazing at writing!!
Don't know if you've already done these before, but Jameson's POV of when he first met Avery, during the will reading, when he first snuck into Avery's room, and when Avery was leaving Will Blake's ranch in tfg. It's probably a lot, but I've been wanting to read about these for a while and I also know a good writer who is capable of doing that. Also, just know that I'm probably going to request you many more things to write about.
first of all I'm HONOURED. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TRUSTING ME. second of all, i really hope this satisfy you and is enough 😭😭I'm no jlb, this is completely of what I think jameson would have thought from my understanding. if you think otherwise please do let me know. again, it's completely from my understanding of jamie's character. also sorry it took so long.
NOTE: all four parts are here. pretty long. some copy pasted dialogues!!!!!! hope you enjoy.
Jameson meeting Avery for the first time.
It was not easy for the Hawthornes, everyone grieved in their own way. But for some reason the grievance was put aside today by everyone, Jameson would like to say he has put it aside as well but the bottle in his hand and the obvious intoxication would say otherwise. It is not a good idea to get drunk during an important time like the reading of the will of the great Tobias Hawthorne, and it's definitely not a good idea to leave your family hanging while one sits at the edge of the balcony, only supported by the railing. But that's exactly what Jameson Hawthorne did.
His mind was all over the place looking for something, something that would give him the thrill more than sitting at the edge of the balcony, drunk. He might have been wrong, but there was a two out of ten chance that he may be right. He refused to look away from the brown haired girl who was standing in the backyard, completely mesmerised by the Hawthorne backyard. As she took in the view he took in her features and movements. He finally decided to interact in the only way he knew to find out what she is.
“If yes is no and once is never , then how many sides does a triangle have?” His words slurred but it got her attention. She looked up to him, bending her neck backwards.
“You’re going to fall.” She told him.
He smirked. “An interesting proposition.”
“That wasn’t a proposition,” She said.
He offered her a lazy grin. “There’s no shame in propositioning a Hawthorne.” Jameson’s smirk grew a bit wider when she noticed that he was shirtless.
“You must be Mystery Girl,” he said.
“I’m Avery,” She corrected.
She looked at him like anyone who knew what recently happened in the Hawthorne family would look at him, wondering why his face was anything but filled with grief. He wouldn't blame her for being a little judgemental. He is very good at grieving in his own way and an expert at hiding it.
“Whatever you say, M.G.,” he retorted. “Can I call you M.G., Mystery Girl?” He was trying to taunt her at this point.
She crossed her arms. “No.”
He brought his feet up to the railing and stood. He wobbled, he could see her thinking about something with worry and panic when he put one foot in front.
“Don't!” But he didn't listen to her. He twisted and grabbed the railing with his hands, holding himself vertical, feet in the air and dropped. He landed right next to her.
“You shouldn’t be out here, M.G.” He told her.
“Neither should you.” He can tell that her heart is beating fast. It was so obvious. Janeson’s heart was racing too, he told himself that it was because of the stunt he just pulled.
“If I do what I should no more often than I say what I shouldn’t”—his lips twisted—“then what does that make me?”
She sighed like she just realised who he is. She was taking in his features to make sure, especially his eyes, and his abs.
“What,” he repeated intently, “does that make me?”
“Drunk,” She said. Jameson was about to say something else, he was ready with a comeback but she added two more words. “And two.”
“What?” Jameson Hawthorne said.
“The answer to your first riddle,” She told him. “If yes is no and once is never , then the number of sides a triangle has… is… two .” She didn't explain her answer, she didn't have to.
“Touché, M.G.” Jameson ambled past her, brushing his bare arm lightly over mine as he did. “Touché.” He was impressed and intrigued.
Two out of ten, this time the odds were in his favour. And now that Jameson Hawthorne got the answer he wanted from this Mystery Girl, he has no plan to leave her alone. That moment he knew she was special. And his grandfather brought her here for a reason. He will find out why.
The Will Read
Jameson made his way to his wing and managed to find himself a shirt and suit jacket. He checked himself in the mirror once before heading to The Great Room. Once he was inside his eyes looked for a specific pair of brown eyes but he realised Avery hadn't arrived yet. He went further inside and stood with the rest of his family. Soon he watched Avery make her way inside and made eye contact with him. He immediately gave her a cheeky smile and a salute, he can also noticed Grayson stiffened at his action through the corner of his eyes.
Once the lawyers made sure everyone who is mentioned in the will was in the room they started. First, they handed an envelope to everyone in the family and to Avery as well. They were asked to open the letters after the will reading. Jameson is already curious about his letter and what the old man has to say to him and to Avery Grambs. His eyes were fixated on her envelope for a whole minute before focusing on the reading prudently.
“Mr. Hawthorne stipulated that all of the following individuals must be physically present for the reading of this will: Skye Hawthorne, Zara Hawthorne-Calligaris, Nash Hawthorne, Grayson Hawthorne, Jameson Hawthorne, Alexander Hawthorne, and Ms. Avery Kylie Grambs of New Castle, Connecticut.”
Everyone's eyes including a pair of green ones were on her. Avery Kylie Grambs.
“...To my daughters, Zara Hawthorne-Calligaris and Skye Hawthorne, I leave the funds necessary to pay off all debts accrued as of the date and time of my death.” Mr. Ortega paused before speaking, he looked directly at Zara and Skye then back to the will.
“Additionally, I leave to Skye my compass, may she always know true north, and to Zara, I leave my wedding ring, may she love as wholly and steadfastly as I loved her mother.” Another pause, more painful than the last.
“Go on.” That came from Zara’s husband.
“To each of my daughters,” Mr. Ortega read slowly, “beyond that already stated, I leave a one-time inheritance of fifty thousand dollars.”
Jameson wanted to smile but he knew better, just like how he knew that his mother and aunt won't be the one holding the old man's entire fortune. It's not a surprise, none of them should be surprised that the person who would be taking the fortune would be the heir apparent, his brother, Grayson Devenport Hawthorne.
There was a mini quarrel between Zara and Skye on how Jameson and his brothers became the old man's favourite, how Skye gave them to him so that her sons would have the inheritance.
“Now, if I may continue…” Mr. Ortega looked back down at the will in his hands. “To my grandsons, Nash Westbrook Hawthorne, Grayson Davenport Hawthorne, Jameson Winchester Hawthorne, and Alexander Blackwood Hawthorne, I leave…”
“Everything,” Zara muttered bitterly.
Mr. Ortega spoke over her. “Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars apiece, payable on their twenty-fifth birthdays, until such time to be managed by Alisa Ortega, trustee.”
Everyone heard Alisa’s audible shock. Unlike his brother Grayson who was utterly shocked and threw knives for the word ‘what’ Jameson Hawthorne thought that this is getting interesting.
The old man didn't leave everything to Grayson like everyone thought the old man would because of the way he was groomed. Or to Nash, or to Xander, or to me. There is only one person left in the will. There could be two things happening right here, and if his guess is right…
“The remainder of my estate,” Mr. Ortega read, “including all properties, monetary assets, and worldly possessions not otherwise specified, I leave to Avery Kylie Grambs.”
And it was indeed right, if you're smart you would have seen this coming right after they read that Tobias Hawthorne didn't leave his fortune to his daughters or his grandsons. The only blood related heirs. But now? A new heiress. Not blood related as far as he knows. She is not a random girl. He knew his grandfather too well to know that he wouldn't randomly write his entire fortune to a stranger. This is something. He doesn't know what she is yet. But he will find out.
Everyone's demeanour changed, especially Skye and Gray's. Not surprised. Even Avery’s, she is in utter shock, he can only say that much.
“...I assure you, there is no mistake.” Mr. Ortega met my gaze, then turned his attention to the others. “And I assure the rest of you, Tobias Hawthorne’s last will and testament is utterly unbreakable. Since the majority of the remaining details concern only Avery, we’ll cease with the dramatics. But let me make one thing very clear: Per the terms of the will, any heir who challenges Avery’s inheritance will forfeit their share of the estate entirely.”
“No will is that ironclad,” Constantine said, his voice acidic.
“Not when there’s this kind of money at stake.” “Spoken,” Nash Hawthorne interjected, “like someone who didn’t really know the old man.”
“Traps upon traps,” Jameson murmured. Trying to look into the old man's mind about this context. Trying to look into her mind. “And riddles upon riddles.” He looked right into Avery's eyes looking for something.
“I think you should leave,” Grayson told me curtly. An order. Typical Grayson.
“Technically…” Alisa Ortega sounded like she’d just swallowed arsenic. “It’s her house.”
“I don’t understand,” She said.
“My daughter is correct.” Mr. Ortega kept his tone neutral. “You own it all, Ms. Grambs. Not just the fortune, but all of Mr. Hawthorne’s properties, including Hawthorne House. Per the terms of your inheritance, which I will gladly go over with you, the current occupants have been granted tenancy unless—and until—they give you cause for removal.” He let those words hang in the air. “Under no circumstances,” he continued gravely, his words rife with warning, “can those tenants attempt to remove you.”
Oren stood between us and her.
“Oren!” Zara sounded shocked. “You work for this family.”
“I worked for Mr. Hawthorne.” John Oren paused and held up a piece of paper. It took me a moment to realise that it was his letter.
“It was his last request that I continue in the employment of Ms. Avery Kylie Grambs.” He glanced at her “Security. You’ll need it.”
“And not just to protect you from us!” Xander added to her left.
“Take a step back, please,” Oren ordered.
Xander held his hands up. “Peace,” he declared. “I make dire predictions in peace!”
“Xan’s right.” Jameson smiled, he knew it and he knew that he is not wrong about this. A random girl picked out from a random place far from home to be The Hawthorne Heiress, this isn't something regular, this a game. One of the old man's games. “The entire world’s going to want a piece of you, Mystery Girl. This has story of the century written all over it.” He reminded her about the media and how the world is going to talk about her.
Avery didn't say anything, she walked outside. He wanted to follow her but instead he opened the envelope that was held by him.
Jameson going to Avery’s room through the secret passageway
Avery didn't stay at Hawthorne House that night, he assumed her bodyguard and lawyer took her to one of the hotel's that was owned by Tobias Hawthorne and now hers. He saw her later the next day solving the keys, yet another game that proved that she is special, she solved it faster than any Hawthorne to start with. That night Jameson read his letter again and again, it took him one read to realise it was a clue, he can't help but read it again to see what it says, where it leads. But he also knew this would be nothing without the major clue, a walking brown eyed clue.
If he was a normal person he would have knocked on her door. Jameson Hawthorne is anything but normal. He walked into her wing and moved a picture frame to solve a simple puzzle to release a handle that popped two inches away from the drawer nearby the picture frame, he pulled it and twisted it four times to make the drawer and the wall it was attached to open.
Secret passageway. It was everywhere in Hawthorne House.
He made his way inside and made his way to his grandfather’s room, now owned by Avery. Once he was close to the fireplace he heard nothing, almost thought she wasn't there. But he gave it a shot anyway.
“Pull the candlestick.”
He wasn't sure if she heard because it was dead silent. So he spoke again “Pull the candlestick on the fireplace, Heiress. Unless you want me stuck back here?” His tone was frisky.
“Pretty sure this qualifies as stalking.” His lips curved into a smile once she said that.
He can tell that she was just pulling it. “Don’t just pull forward. Angle it down.”
She did as he asked. Once he heard the click and saw the gap below, Jameson lifted the fireplace up to the mantle to go through the opening. Once he was in the room he positioned the candlestick back to it's original form.
“Secret passage,” he explained to know if it intrigues her. “The house is full of them.”
“Am I supposed to find that comforting?” She asked him. “Or terrifying?”
“You tell me, Mystery Girl. Are you comforted or terrified?” He let me sit with that for a moment. “Or is it possible that you’re intrigued?
She didn't say anything but he knew the answer. She didn't ask him what he expected her to ask.
“You’re not asking about the keys.” Jameson offered her a crooked little smile. “I expected you to ask about the keys.”
She held the keys up. “This was your doing.” Not a question, he noted.
“It’s a little bit of a family tradition.” He said with a motive. He has done nothing but think about the will reading and raise questions to himself, whys and hows.
“I’m not family.” She tried to make a statement but wasn't sure herself.
He tilted his head to one side. “Do you believe that?”
“I don’t know.” She thought before she spoke. Does she know something? That was Janesons first thought.
“It would be a shame,” Jameson commented, “if we were related.” He spared another smile for me, slow and sharp-edged. “Don’t you think?” Jameson is good at a lot of things, flirting is definitely one of them.
“I think that you already have more family than you can deal with.” She crossed my arms. “I also think you’re a lot less smooth than you think are. You want something.”
Points to Heiress. She's quick.
“Everyone is going to want something from you soon, Heiress.” Jameson smiled. “The question is: How many of us want something you’re willing to give?” He spoke in a way that would make her want to give into him. But her resistance was stronger than he thought.
“Stop calling me Heiress,” She shot back. “And if you turn answering my question into some kind of riddle, I’m calling security.”
“That’s the thing, Mystery Girl. I don’t think I’m turning anything into a riddle. I don’t think I have to. You are a riddle, a puzzle, a game—my grandfather’s last.” He spoke and looked at her very intently. He didn't care how it sounded to her, he was sure of what he believed to be true.
“Why do you think this house has so many secret passages? Why are there so many keys that don’t work in any of the locks? Every desk my grandfather ever bought has secret compartments. There’s an organ in the theater, and if you play a specific sequence of notes, it unlocks a hidden drawer. Every Saturday morning, from the time I was a kid until the night my grandfather died, he sat my brothers and me down and gave us a riddle, a puzzle, an impossible challenge—something to solve. And then he died. And then…” Jameson took a step toward her. “There was you.” He tried explaining to her how Hawthorne House is, how his grandmother was. Why his grandfather chose her wasn't random.
“Grayson thinks you’re some master manipulator. My aunt is convinced you must have Hawthorne blood. But I think you’re the old man’s final riddle—one last puzzle to be solved.” He took another step, bringing the two of them much closer. “He chose you for a reason, Avery. You’re special, and I think he wanted us—wanted me —to figure out why.”
This point he was convinced that she was a puzzle to be solved or a clue that would lead him to something. Something his grandfather wanted him to find, to know. Because the old man knew damn well that Jameson Hawthorne could never resist a game.
“I’m not a puzzle.” Her heart was beating faster because of their closeness or because of what he's saying.
“Sure you are,” Jameson said. “We all are. Don’t tell me that some part of you hasn’t been trying to figure us out. Grayson. Me. Maybe even Xander.”
“Is this all just a game to you?” She put her hand out to stop him from advancing farther. He took one last step, forcing her palm to his chest. That touch shouldn't have excited him, even if it did, he didn't concentrate on it.
“Everything’s a game, Avery Grambs. The only thing we get to decide in this life is if we play to win.” He reached up to brush the hair from her face, and she jerked back.
“Get out,” She said lowly. “Use the normal door this time.”
“You’re angry,” Jameson said. Making her angry isn't helpful, if she's angry with him she may not help. Or see that this is a game, and she is a piece of it.
“I told you—if you want something, ask. Don’t come in here talking about how I’m special. Don’t touch my face.”
“You are special.” Jameson kept his hands to himself, but the heady expression in his eyes never shifted.
“And what I want is to figure out why. Why you, Avery?” He took a step back, giving her space. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to know, too.”
She does, she wants to know. She must.
“I’m going to leave this here.” Jameson held up an envelope. He laid it carefully on the mantel. “Read it, and then tell me this isn’t a game to be won. Tell me this isn’t a riddle.” Jameson reached for the candelabra, and as the fireplace passage opened once more, he offered a targeted, parting shot. “He left you the fortune, Avery, and all he left us is you.”
Avery coming out of Vincent Blake’s mansion (tfg)
Jameson wouldn't forgive himself if something happened inside, if someone happened to either of them. Avery and Grayson. Especially Avery because he let her go inside, knowing the kind of man Vincent Blake is. His heart could pop out any second, it was beating that fast. He tried to keep it cool with all the paparazzi outside. He kept looking at the gate, waiting for her. For her to come out alive and bring his brother, maybe Toby even. Whatever is happening inside, he prays that she is winning. Somehow she must.
His heart skipped a beat once he saw Avery come out with Grayson and Toby. He wanted to run and hug her, he didn't care that they'd cause a scene. but he stopped himself because he saw Toby talking to her, he slowly made his way to them and the car. To let her know he was there. He also let her have her moment with Toby.
He didn't know what happened inside, but from the look of it he can tell that Avery won. Whatever game they played, however she played, she won. And she was safe along with Grayson. That's all that mattered to him at that moment.
When she made her way to him, he didn't ask her what happened. “The knight returns with the damsel in distress,” Jameson declared. He glanced toward Grayson. “You’re the damsel.”
“I figured,” Grayson deadpanned.
“What are you doing here?” She asked Jameson. He can see the victory in her eyes, she was more open with him now that the first time they met. It was getting easier to tell what she was thinking.
“I thought you could use a ride home,” Jameson told her. She looked past him, expecting to see a helicopter.
“Pretty sure you aren’t allowed to land a helicopter there,” Grayson told his brother.
“You know what they say about permission and forgiveness,” Jameson replied, then he focused back on her with a familiar look—equal parts I dare you and I’ll never let you go. “Want to learn to fly?”
Avery smiled and took his hand. He still didn't ask her what happened, he just enjoyed her victory in the air. Just Avery and Jameson.
#jameson hawthorne#the inheritance games#the final gambit#jameson hawthorne pov#the brothers hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#xander hawthorne#avery kylie grambs#nash hawthorne#the hawthorne brothers#avery grambs#the grandest game
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Why Percy Jackson is a transfem character and always has been
So!!Obligatory 'i'm a trans man,not a trans woman' disclaimer but this analysis is based purely off 1.Percy's canon personality,relathionships and story and 2.Irl transfeminine experiences that i know a lot about thanks to having a lot of transfem friends.Said friends have also listened to my reasoning behind tgirl Percy and agreed with me if not having the hc for her already and every other transfem Pjo fan i've seen i don't personally know also say her narrative is trans woman's one too and they always understand Percy's characterization better than anyone else in the fandom(certainly better than 'himbo/malewife/babygirl-coded/slutty bisexual Percy' believers)and as a Percy kinnie it's been the take that's felt most correct to me ever since i first read Pjo,10 years ago much,MUCH before i even realized i'm queer.So with that,let's dive into why Percy is a girl quasi-canonically,including that Rick Riordan has refered to her as straight but never cis!
Trigger warnings:Misogyny,child abuse,ableism,Luke's canon pedophillia and grooming with an alluding to how it applies to Percy being female(that is not dived into!),a slang word for pedophile that's used as an insult to P*rcicos potrayal of her and internalized transmisogyny
Percy's personality
Now,as i've said before,Percy's not all that actually gendered as male-Meaning,none of her attitude or behavior or interests are masculine and are misenterpreted as such due to misogyny and gender essentialism.Percy has poor social skills,anger issues,merciless tendencies,a strong sense of justice,self-worth problems,a very odd sense of humor that always lands and respects women to the point of thinking they're better than men and none of these are gendered traits but a mix of audhd-dyslexia and trauma.The last one is arguably actually a girl thing even if there's an in-universe reason for it(good mom,deadbeat birth dad,abusive stepdad,most antagonists being older men in power and the first older person she thought she could trust was just manipulating her)
Percy also frequently complains about having to act like a stereotypical guy to have to fit into society's standards because naturally,she's just not-She's completely unconvential even amongst 'other male' demigods and this is reguarly commented on.In fact,there's a whole plot in Titan's Curse of her proving to the Hunters that she's NOT a normal 'man' and it's a huge thing that's reinforced as true the whole franchise!Zoe was right about cis men being ass and that's not 'r*dical feminism' and ngl a lot of y'all are telling on yourselves because she never talked about biology in her misandry,especially because Zoe appears to be around the same age as Thalia physically and mentally so it's super icky to throw t*rf accusations at her because she's traumatized by ancient greek men,one of the worst kinds of men ever!And Percy's totally unlike them despite being amab and identifying male not because 'not all men' but because she's actually a woman
This is a direct contrast to how she talks about and interacts with other girls-Almost every female character earns her worship on first meeting,even if she dosen't like them as people.She puts a heavy emphasis on them being girls in her narration and some dialogue too and her descriptions of them are so admirative they come as envious with her own insecurities in her looks.Percy is severely lacking in any kind of masculinity and Piper even pointed this out based on her vibes alone after hearing all about her at camp and thinking she'd be a macho man based off how people talk about her and i'm unsure if this is a common phenomenom but i frequently see and hear people say daughters tend to look like girl versions of their dad's and Percy is said to be identical to Poseidon but with softer features and the idea Percy should tie herself to masculinity due to it being expected of amabs is contradictory to canon's messages in addition to it's irl sexist implications and the sea is frequently associated with femininity(mermaids and sirens,calling ships 'she',pearl jewelry,the term 'Beach Bunny',the moon controlling the tides,etc)
And small final note:The rock music scene is filled with transfemmes and has been for a long time and while blue things are usually associated with boys,it was Percy's mom who got her to love them
Percy's relathionships
Almost all of Percy's friends growing up were girls-Annabeth,Silena,Thalia,Bianca,Zoe,Clarisse and Rachel vs just Grover,Beckendorf and Nico.She thinks The Stolls are annoying as shit with their 'boys will be boys' beat and she hates male gods on sight and implies she finds them being super conventionally attractive to be offputting instead of appealing.Nico had a crush on her until they got closer and realized she's not an ideal man like he thought she was and therefore 'cute but not his type'(I have no opinion on Solangelo but i got beef with the shippers for making this about blonde hair and blue eyes instead of transfem Percy,especially the trope of Percy acting like a kiddy fiddler over what Nico said as a joke)and she takes responsibility of him post Bianca's death and Nico exclusively wishes for older sister figures,never old brother ones
Percy and Rachel is a classic irl dynamic between transfems and their afab friends:Dating to exes to even closer friends.Rachel is a pretty typical lesbian if we're applying irl wlw things too and Annabeth is clearly a huge lesbian-Like seriously,she only ever showed attraction to Luke and Percy and Luke was comphet in her words('You were like a brother to me but i never loved you')and lesbians experiencing attraction to uncracked eggs is semi-common and she's got tons of subtext with Piper and Reyna and shows a strong distaste for the expectations of cisheterosexual womanhood,mainly femininity.Reyna is yet another comphet lesbian-coded who was into Percy.Clarisse,textually butch,calls her 'Prissy' and Piper,canon unlabeled sapphic and gnc,described her as not masc enough for her taste
Percy's relathionships to older male characters combined with her transfemininity,youth and constantly being described as 'other' from ordinary half-bloods by them function with no need for change as a potrayal to how corrupted men in power treat girls-Not women,underaged girls as Percy is 12 at the start and 18 now and we've yet to get interactions with her and male gods in the current canon timeline so all their abuse of her and innapropriate undertones in their behavior towards her were when she was underaged.This includes but is not limited to:Ares' condesension and (non-sexual) assaults,Apollo's very possible constant flirting that would definitely be textual if Percy was intended as a girl by Rick seeing as Apollo had no problem hitting on the Hunters and Reyna and her entire relathionship with Luke.Luke is canonically a serial pedophile,implied to sleep with Kelli and a raging misogynist and Percy was one of the first victim's of his gaslighting and he tried to kill her after framing her his crime against the gods in an isolated area they'd been alone in together a lot and widely noted to have accidentally been writen flirting with her throught the series by the fandom so i can't help but take Luke.rcy as a male explotation and grooming narrative
Artemis,an archaic symbol of lesbians,loves Percy and considers her above any man.Aphrodite gave Percy advice on her looks by saying everyone deserves to feel perfect in their skin to achive true perfect beauty.Persephone,one of the og csa narratives,said she likes Percy because she's 'brave' with the implication being that again,she can tell Percy is different from usual 'male' half-bloods.Hera is the goddess of traditional marriage and holds a violent resentment towards Percy for disrupting the system.Percy at her core is meant to come across as like a male god but not actually being one and actively not wanting to become one out of hate for authority and traditionality
And another small final note to a section:Frank is trans man-coded(his arc is about being emasculated and saying 'fuck you!' by making his own manhood and Mars' blessing is explicitly compared to testosterone and gives him a huge confidence boost)and they're paralleled as fundamentally similar yet also fundamentally different,Nico and her act like an eldest daughter and a middle brother where she's a pseudo-mom to him and queer siblings and Jason falls under transmasc norms(the ex-wolfkid thing,positive and healthy masculinity,creating a new self after loosing his old idealized one and Team Dad)and instantly became Percy's best friend and is her complimentary foil and 'counterpart' so transmasc4transfem realness
Percy's story(and how it all comes together and would've been improved by canonizing her as a trans woman)
Percy Jackson means 'Outcast who looks out for other outcasts'.She's so unique as a character because she was and is still genuinely a huge weirdo,not just nonhuman,she is human even if it's only half-That's only half of who she is(She's totally a Gwen Stacy variant btw).Being a trans girl would do nothing but enchance her core aspects but also work as a fixit to various canon writing problems!
Percy is femme so that'd give us positive girly girl rep to make up for all the pick me feminism.Annabeth'd have no reason to lash out and give her mixed signals since she's not a boy so their dynamic is improved.Nico's crush fades upon finding out she's a girl so they become best friends and found siblings like they were always meant and wanted to.It causes shifts in the plot that bring a bigger focus on the girlhood aspects of Greek Mythology seperate from romance retellings and a much needed change too:Percy as the hero of the Great Prophecy.Luke was a raging misogynist,a racist,a child groomer,a fucking pedophile and an entire fascist who lied about revolution to ruin society instead of fixing the system.Percy is a lifelong punk,an anarchist and a proffessional instigator and was trying to stop Luke's fuckery from 12 to 16-She's the greatest greco-roman hero ever.TGP was operating on Ancient Greek logic but Pjo isn't Ancient Greece,it's Percy's story-How she forced the gods to change with no choice by SHOWING how much stronger and more etheral she is than them
BUT WAIT,THERE'S ONE MORE FINAL NOTE!!!!!Percy would be a million times happier as a trans femme than as a cis man.She gets to transition and not have to be an ordinary male she's NOT so she starts loving and accepting herself way more as she changes into who she wants and deserves to be and we should all want that for her too.The truth is she's nothing like Hercules,she's unimpressive as a man,Nico believed she was a real male hero but she failed at being a performance of it based off what he knew of men and now they're cool and he thinks Percy's cute but not like that,she thinks aggressively male men are wicked and not all that handsome,Rachel made her feel normal because she's not a normal girl (either),Annabeth has princess hair and had a makeover at a magic spa and she strikes fear into hearts in a way only girls and she wants all that too,she also wanted to be treated like Thalia so bad,Jason is the Superman she's been waiting for her whole life
She's the mom to Nico and Hazel Sally was to her,she's a rocker chick,she was on the swim team in high school and went to protests and did charity events with that frizzy neurotic girl she's attached to the hip with,she loves burgers and desserts,she's got streaked hair,she uses 2000s and 90s slang completely unironically and she just wants people to think she's normal but still get to be herself.The sea does not like to be restrained
#percy jackson#transfem percy jackson#persephone jackson#black percy#latino percy#autistic percy jackson#pastel punk percy jackson#team mom percy jackson#the hunters of artemis#zoe nightshade#annabeth chase#nico di angelo#black nico di angelo#leah is our annabeth#rachel elizabeth dare#nigerian rachel dare#pjo gods slander#anti luke castellan#antilukercy#frank zhang#jason grace#black jason grace#trans jason grace#t4t jercy#nico and percy#trans frank zhang#pjo#trans women#💌#summerposting
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To the point about Rhaenyra being boring, it continues to elude me why the producers, writers, and directors decided they needed to humanize Rhaenyra by downplaying if not outright removing her worst traits. That’s not humanizing, that’s sanitizing.
There are plenty of female characters that exist in fiction who are frustrating to morally ambiguous, to completely evil but still have their fans and are beloved, or at the very least compelling. The comparisons to Shiv Roy from Succession already exist, so I won’t belabor that point, but look at other shows like Mr. Robot, Better Call Saul, and if anyone really wants to press the button for feminism: The Handmaid’s Tale. Those shows have incredibly well-written female characters that aren’t necessarily paragons.
House of the Dragon choosing to center Rhaenyra as the protagonist as opposed to making her part of a true ensemble a la the original Game of Thrones wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The narrative decision to frame her as heroic (as far as S1 is concerned) is how we get the ‘Protagonist Centered Morality/Unreliable Narrator’ trope that results in plenty of media literate fans that are either neutral or Green-leaning who feel frustrated that there’s not an equal balance between characters.
Perfectly put together, anon. I'm sorry I answered so late. -_-
There's nothing wrong with characters that are written to be good people, but you see, that only works when said character is written consistently and somewhat realistically. Something that the writers completely didn't do in Rhaenyra's case. Are you going to tell me I'm supposed to watch her go through Visenya's traumatic birth, which by the way, happened so quickly after learning that her father was dead, keep her calm, and find it believable?
There is no sense of reason when it comes to grief. None. When someone close to you is gone, you check out. They take a part of your mind away with them and sometimes you don't even realize it. Especially if it's as horrid, as painful and helpless as what Rhaenyra went through. I am not going to sit here and blame the Greens for that baby's death, for all we know of her she had dragon features and was 100% going to die either way. That is digestible for us viewers/readers, who have no connection for a baby mentioned in a few lines.
But Rhaenyra's her mother. And rightfully, when she loses her this way, she goes mad with grief. She wants someone to blame, she cannot cope with the idea that there is no one to blame in this situation, that it would've happened either way. So she blames her enemies, the Greens. She isn't right, but she isn't even sane anymore, she's just had a stillbirth, how can you expect her to think before she speaks?
But the show strips her completely of this anger, and makes her push for peace. Is it possible that not even THAT can make this perfect angel Qween lose her temper like any human would? I understand wanting to rid her of any sin so she looks like a Saint, but really, where's the flaw in being angry and irrational after your stillbirth?
I never liked Rhaenyra as a person but I was looking forward (I'm STILL looking forward lol) to the role she will play as a character, a literary device, a tool to tell a story. I'm not saying I hope they bring out the worst of her this season so more people have reasons to hate women and feel justified for it, but LET HER BE RIGHTFULLY ANGRY. I'M BEGGING YOU.
People will always choose and be more obsessed with the evil but interesting one, not the one who's got more morals. It's already been said in a post I saw not so long ago, but Luke shouldn't be winning polls for best character against OTTO HIGHTOWER of all people because we choose morality in none other than a world like ASOIAF. Please give characters nuance. There's so much potential they got lazy with using timeskips etc. already.
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hi! I've been reading through your blog and you seem to give decent advice, so I figured I'd try my luck at something that's been annoying me recently.
So to start, I'm 17ftm (no testosterone), I have had many mental health struggles on the past 5 years and my parents don't really trust me or take me seriously. And I have never had sex with a penis haver so no possibility of pregnancy at any point.
Okay so my problem is that I never get consistent periods and almost always skip more than a month in between. They actually started pretty consistent when I was 13 but became extremely irregular after I gained a lot of unexpected weight (I was on a high dose of antipsycotics which I believe caused this). I skipped 6 months when I was 14. Since my parents don't take me seriously, they kind of softly assume I'm exaggerating or just not counting the days right ever time I bring it up and it made me so frustrated that last year I finally got a period tracker and committed to filling it out daily. I finally decided to go back and check how long it's been because I felt like it had been forever since I actually bled and uh. Guess what I was right 😬
Since the new year, I logged myself as "spotting" on February 7th and January 22. I marked myself down as "light bleeding" on the 18th. Every other day this year there has been no bleeding. Is this abnormal??? My mom keeps saying things like "I skip months all the time" but it's just really unsettling me I feel like something's wrong. I've also had period-like cramps a few times since the year began and at one point they got really bad, like a 7/10 but again I haven't bled even a little bit except those three days I just want to know I'm not being unreasonable.
I do plan to talk to my doctor, my dad set an appointment for next week (I didn't tell him what it was for & he didn't ask which was nice) but while my GP is usually pretty good I'm worried she'll dismiss me like my mom always does & I'm worried I'll phrase something wrong or not describe things correctly. (I have the kind of autism that gives me psychic damage when people don't understand me hence the multiple paragraphs to explain a fairly simple issue... Sorry about that btw)
Thanks for your time and I hope I wasn't too annoying🪻
hi anon,
irregular periods are pretty typical when you first begin menstruating, but the fact that they haven't leveled out by now could definitely be indicative of some kind of complication in your reproductive system that's definitely best to know about sooner rather than later. I'm sorry your parents have been dismissive of you, but if your GP is generally reasonable I'm sure she'll understand why you're concerned; missing your period for months at a time definitely falls into what's considered irregular and warrants further investigation, and it sounds like you've been documenting your experiences enough to back up that that's the case.
I hope everything goes well and you can find some answers <3
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