#i don't know what the actual movie's going to be like... but i don't trust netflix at ALL not to mangle the elements i love
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I'm back! Thank you kindly for your patience, we're done with Act III! It was probably a terrible idea to wait because this is so long, I'm so sorry.
previously, in harrowhark! a vagrant the ninth:
this happened
also a couple previews that will show up in this but are in the tag
currently, chapters 24-31 (END OF ACT III!!!):
harrow wakes up after sleeping a sensible amount of hours in yandere twin's room
yandere twin, who's into chomping cavaliers, complains about having had some harrow soup
they have a sort of tender moment, I guess
they have a complicated dynamic
harrow falls asleep again
she's in the bed and yandere twin is sleeping on the floor
and harrow is woken by the sound of self inflicted pain and torture
harrow gets tired of this and decides to just rip yandere twin's arm off
@lady-harrowhark reminded me that I called this (!!!) in this recap
I had absolutely 100000% forgot I said that but congrats past me!!!
so, there's this scene in which harrow rips yandere twin's arm off and puts a new bone-y one in there, remade with her own parts
like this
some people have told me in the replies that it's a sessual sort of scene, and I get that, I suppose it was the vibe it was going for
total respect to that
but I'm gonna be honest here
it felt like I was witnessing a birth and harrow was the midwife
so harrow lets yandere twin know that she's been improving her necro powers via studying and practicing to try to make up for her being "lyctor lite"
harrow and alleged gideon aka ortus are the only people here that seem to be getting any work done tbh
so now, with the new arm, inner chad can use the sword again
and yandere twin is happy because she's now a proper lyctor and has senior chad aka augustine's approval
harrow is proud of herself for doing nice necro things like chopping and reconstructing arms
as a thanks, yandere twin agrees to help harrow to kill alleged gideon the first aka ortus
nobody asked you, but ok
I actually have no qualms with alleged gideon aka ortus
because he's at least direct and honest about it
everyone here has an agenda, at least this guy's like directly trying to physically kill harrow
at this point, I respect the direct approach
augustine and emperor reverend professor john can go fu—
WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'LL GET THERE LATER
CHAPTER 28
we're back at gideon-less canaan house
canaan house isn't safe in any universe, all the trails lead to death
everyone who's alive or accounted for is having a sleepover
there's a bunch of people unaccounted for, actually
the kiddos from the fourth are allegedly hidden elsewhere
who knows, at this point
I don't trust anyone
there's a fog and rain and water rising still
which reminds me of the movie identity, in which they all were trapped in that motel because it wasn't actually a motel and they weren't actually alive per-se
magnus and abby say that protozoa should have decked mayonnaise uncle
which is one of the reasons why the gideon universe is superior
aside from the presence of gideon and camilla
I miss them so much I'm gonna start biting cavaliers
anyway, where in the hell is duracell bunny nephew???
he wasn't with mayonnaise uncle when he yeeted himself
his soul, which got detached from his body in the gideon universe, is still flying like a balloon across universes and dimensions, I guess
abby didn't expect regina george twin to die, apparently, and says "if she's gone, then perhaps that means..." but doesn't elaborate
nobody ever elaborates
abby also makes harrowbean read another one of the "harrow texts"
I can't keep adding them all together in recaps because this will end up being super long but here goes the new one
"I will remember the first time you kissed me —you apologized— you said, I am sorry, destroy me as I am, but I want to kiss you before I am killed, and I said to you why, and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you. I kissed you and later I would kiss him too before I understood what you were, and all three of us lived to regret it—but when I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine"
so yeah, we've got a triangular situation, I suppose
I need to put all of them together to continue to draw connections
my though was that this could be ice cube barbie aka annabel lee, because of the long-lost sun, but I'm unsure still
I don't think the timing fits the other side of the 3d model that's the gideon's mom and rebel leader situation
inconclusive still
abby suggests harrowbean she might be haunted
which might also fit with ice cube barbie??? maybe??? idk
CHAPTER 29
harrow says she doesn't remember shit about chad
get perpetually owned, chad
mercygirl asks harrow things about her necro process for the arm reconstructing and the last thing she asks is "what is the name of the saint of duty?" to which harrow says "ortus the first" and mercygirl goes
me and my "alleged gideon" theory are very happy about this
the hill I will die on
mercygirl continues to use onomatopoeias to express herself
I do not want to think about what that would imply in a later situation I don't want to dig into
"you read unholy omens in the way people say good morning" that's what these recaps are, thank you very much harrow
that's our tagline over here, that's our brand
"how you loathed any sentence beginning with augustine says" SAME, BESTIE
I HATE THAT MAN
he can go fu— ANYWAY
harrow and yandere twin are having sleepovers so that harrow isn't murdered in her sleep
apparently the nudes are cyrus and his cavalier and yandere twin likes that energy
they gifted them to others as souvenirs too
it's like if you had a university classmate who sent nudes to the groupchat every birthday
yandere twin says augustine the asshole has agreed to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first
I don't trust any of these lyctors if they're willing to kill each other this easily
how do I know they've got my back in combat if they don't have each other's backs—
I CAN'T EVEN ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS AND NOT SOUND TERRIBLE NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS LATER IN THE PARTY
ANYWAY
yandere twin reminisces about not having been apart from regina george twin much in their lives and hoping she's sleeping well wherever she is
I also don't know where she is
yandere twin tells harrow that she was more farsighted than her
which I'm sure she was, but she doesn't seem to remember shit about it, and the letters remain unopened
harrow thinks it's kinda gross that the cyrus lyctor murdered his cavalier to become a lyctor and then took all of their nudes to the emperor's bolthole
none of these lyctors are operating from a place of common sense, harrow
"you were lucky that the memory of your own cavalier did not hurt you—except sometimes in the form of a sick headache in your temples, or in words stuck on repeat in your head"
so, augustine's plan involves dinner
harrow, hearing that, is like this
they look for clothes in the cavalier's things
yandere twin says "valancy trinit was my height, weighed more than both of us put together, and —judging by her portraits— had a body that did not quit"
I sure hope she's a thick girl, because I've had enough disappointment with the gideon cover not letting her have the arms she deserves
I hope valancy trinit looks kinda like this
ANYWAY, here's the makeover vibes, as previously shared
apparently chad could embroider, which I have to admit is a good quality
hate giving him any props, but I must be fair
harrow painted the less cute skull in her repertoire and we respect that
they went to augustine's room and he's still an asshat
I don't like how he treats yandere twin tbh
I feel like yandere twin has a thing with validation because of how her life has been and he uses that
augustine justifies his betrayal to his fellow lyctor saying that he "caused more pain over these last scant forty years than I dare to admit"
mercygirl is also here for the party, all dressed up
SO HERE'S THE THING
I am so embarrassed I didn't pick it up on the fly and it took me the whole chapter to put it together
augustine tells her "dios apate, minor"
at the time, I didn't remember what it meant, and when I finished reading the thing, I was like "oh, it's exactly like the deception of zeus"
I forgot that's what it was called
I mean, I got the "dios" part, obviously, but forgot the "apate"
my ancient greek professor is going to come back into my life to shoot me at my doorstep
to be fair to myself, it was a long while ago that I took ancient greek
AT LEAST I PICKED THE REFERENCE UP AFTER, OK????
god, I'm so embarrassed
palmolive, I'm so sorry, I promise I figured it out eventually
mercygirl punches augustine in the face, which is great
he insists on it being "minor", which idk where the line is there and I'm not gonna ask
idk which things are or aren't...involved in a minor form of zeus's deception
mercygirl says she's not wearing the right dress, I don't think it matters, it worked just fine
CHAPTER 30
everyone gets drunk except for alleged gideon aka ortus and harrow, because they're the only people in this group project who are doing the work
augustine and mercygirl start fighting about something their cavaliers did back in the day
they start toasting for cavaliers and talking about how "hot pyrrha was"
there is no respect for the dead in the emperor's bolthole
there's about to be something else in the emperor's bolthole in a minute though
I was excited about them drinking, though, because that's when people start spilling some truths
the lost commander of BOE is a "she", her name is/was Commander Wake, she almost killed alleged gideon aka ortus
I'm still spinning with the gideon's mom theory
and the background telenovela I've got going on
BOE found a Herald, killed it and turned it into weapons against these clowns
good for them, tbh, kill these drunk irresponsible bastards
emperor reverend professor doctor john thinks it's narcissistic of him to toast to himself
I want to murder him in cold blood
I hate this man so viscerally I want to rip him apart with my hands
the twist in this book is that I'm gonna reach to his murder and it's gonna be me
it's like bastian reading the neverending story but it's me killing this man
his full name is john gaius but I had been spoiled of his name by people not tagging their posts
he also does a "your mama" joke because he's my villain origin story
"part of your brain temporarily calcified into atheism" I'M GLAD, HARROW
so, they start to make out, all three of them
I finally caught up about zeus's deception and all about here
emperor awful is sandwiched between mercygirl on a table and augustine behind him and they forget there are children in the room
well, not children, but same difference, they're a million years old
harrow and yandere twin get the hell out of that display
CHAPTER 31
yandere twin wants to kiss harrowbean before she leaves to kill alleged gideon aka ortus, but harrow doesn't let her
harrow says "my affections lie buried in the Locked Tomb" to which yandere twin responds "Somebody might even exhume them for you"
when harrow mentioned not wanting to be touched while sleeping beside yandere twin, I remembered the pool hug and all that, that was a nice time
people were being killed left and right but it was a nice time
ANYWAY
harrow has a whole plan and has it all figured out, it's a really good plan, it works very nicely, but alleged gideon aka ortus isn't where they told her he was
sometimes, life works that way
the man you plan to kill isn't in the training room and all
she goes to look for him in not!dulcinea's crypt or whatever
and she sees this
and the spear
she follows the children's hospital trail of blood to the incinerator
alleged gideon aka ortus is inside the fire thingy and not!dulcinea is operating the controls
I wonder who could have predicted that this woman could still be an issue even after death
me, it was me
anyway, no time for I-told-you-so's because harrowbean decides to help him out of there
I'm very happy because I need him alive
he knows things and he's less bad than everyone else around here
because he's upfront about the killing
he tells her some things while he's kind of out of it
like to use blood wards instead of bone ones
that it will make her safe from "us"
"I know you're there. Kill me all you like. I would know you in the blindness of my eyes" he says and, among other things "Just tell me—back then—why you brought along the ba—"
WAS HE GONNA SAY BABY???? WHAT IF HE WANTED TO SAY BABY???
I'm still on my gideon agenda, sorry if it's embarrassing to read
of course emperor dickhead stops him before he can finish it
alleged gideon aka ortus says he doesn't remember shit afterwards and harrow sees her own mental state reflected in his
they can't find not!dulcinea, apparently
she's probably operating heavy machinery elsewhere
harrow is putting up her blood wards when she hears augustine and mercygirl argue about the whole zeus situation
the incinerator alarm apparently interrupted their plan of letting this happen
whether or not they had a hand on the not!dulcinea thing idk
mercygirl says she didn't move her
we end this act with ice cube barbie maybe annabel lee saying "The water is risen. So is the sun. We will endure."
obligatory yearning for camilla moment
That is the end of Act III and of my commentary because this was way too long and I need to make less chapters at a time istg
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I'm telling you, everything's gonna be all right as long as we're together!
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#super mario bros#super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie spoilers#cherrysip edits#i've seen so many screenshots and a few scattered gifs but it doesn't seem like anyone's actually done a proper gifset SO#I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS SCENE. SO UNBELIEVABLY NORMAL. I DIDN'T WATCH THIS CLIP 60 TIMES AND CRY EVERY TIME#YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING#but seriously it is unbelievable how sweet these brothers are. i am SO grateful that the movie is actually giving a lot of emotional weight#to their relationship! i just can't get over how mario is wholly focused on soothing luigi because that's what's important to him#and how luigi does relax and smile because he trusts his brother wholeheartedly#PICTURES TAKEN SECONDS BEFORE DISASTER :( :( :( :( :( :(#i also love how you can tell mario genuinely did not know that luigi was sucked in too (this is confirmed in the newest tv spot too)#and so he's kind of in quiet awe of where he is and then HE SEES LUIGI and PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER MODE activates instantly#their reunion in the movie is actually going to end me. i will leave my mortal body behind and rejoin the sea. IT BETTER BE GOOD#but after this i don't see how it CAN'T be. this relationship is clearly the heart of the movie - if it's already emotional in this scene#then they've got to pay that off at the end!!! it's the law!!! otherwise things will just fall flat. i believe in u movie don't let me down
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I wrote my own fanscript of THE OLD GUARD 2
The screenshots above are samples...
... I got tired of waiting for Netflix, so:
I tried to incorporate the following:
TOG 2 casting (Uma and Henry) plus some locations where the movie was shot last year (as seen in set photos, etc)
my own personal "wish list" of details, but hopefully in a way that makes sense within the larger story (tried to avoid making it just a self-indulgent, shoe-horned laundry list lol) and in a way that it could conceivably be greenlit by the industry -- ie: I'd have loved to write 2 whole hours of them just hanging out playing board games and reminiscing, but that would never be made into a movie.
a few ideas inspired by some of my favorite meta posts/fan art/etc (some of y'all are SO much more creative than the people actually making these movies, istg) -- try to spot them all!
favorite "action" scenes from the Force Multiplied comic, despite this script not being a true adaptation (it just borrows the broader strokes)
the decision not to make Quynh a villain; she's arguably got a hero arc in this, tbh (the top 1% and their use of institutional/systemic oppression to exploit and control the masses is the real villain, actually!)
no new immortals or explanation of immortality, tyvm; I tried to focus on the Family of Six and their shared history as much as possible.
PDF FILE OF SCRIPT
#the old guard#the old guard 2#fan screenplay#fan script#kaysanova#andromaquynh#fan fic#(kind of)#i just remember some of our most beloved fandom moments revolving around the release of the original film's script#and i know that I'm not a professional writer but I wanted to try and capture just a fraction of that enthusiasm for us again#we deserve it so much you guys we've been given less than scraps for so long... it's hard to maintain passion when you feel forgotten#i don't know what the actual movie's going to be like... but i don't trust netflix at ALL not to mangle the elements i love#(ie: prioritizing character development - found family dynamics - flashbacks - queer rep - meaningful/character-focused action scenes - etc#(this doesn't have a beta reader so if i fucked anything up please let me know so i can change it xoxo)
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you wanna know what??
I am
TIRED
of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!
I WANNA SEE A
WEREWOLF
WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!
I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!
I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!
AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF
D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !
#i am TIRED of seeing all these manly man werewolves that are all copy and paste white boys#I am TIRED of seeing all these woman werewolves being butch and masculine(also mostly white) or submissive!!!#I WANNA SEE SOME PLUS-SIZE WEREWOLVES I WANNA SEE SOME BLACK ASIAN LATINO MIDDLE EASTERN NON WHITE WEREWOLVES!!!!! THAT ARNT F3TIZIED!!!!!#I WANNA SEE A G I R L WEREWOLF THATS INTO “G I R L Y” THINGS!!!!! LET THE WEREWOLF BE A SLVT!!!!!#LET THE WEREWOLF BE IN THE TRADITIONAL CLOTHING OF ITS CULTURE!!!!#AND RIP AND TEAR AND MAUL AND CRY IN THE MORNING AFTER DOING ALL OF IT!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#no but fr can we werewolf fans like. actually sit down and reflect on the inherent misogyny of werewolves??? ESPECIALLY IN MEDIA#like. almost EVERY. SINGLE. WEREWOLF. in movies and shows and stuff are always a buff white man with anger and trust issues#and on the rare occasion that there *is* a woman werewolf shes always either over masculine or “weaker” than the “stronger alpha male” were#olf and only seen as a mate. AND shes always “calmer” and “maternal” and “calms the alpha male down🥺🥺”.AND she never has an actually good#werewolf form its always either wolf tail and ears or full wolf. or if it *is* actually a decent werewolf her transformation is offscreen.#like whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so scared to make women go ape shit?????? werewolves are NOT pretty creatures!!!! STOP MAKING THEM PRETTY!!#(lmao jk we know why they're so scared hashtag male gaze)#like yes. werewolves ARE pretty but not in the “dog show 30k$ poodle” kind of way i see some people making them(not that that's bad tho)#AND ALSO LIKE. ARE WE JUST GOING TO PRETEND WEREWOLVES LITERALLY WEREN'T MADE FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES???#like. once a month someone turns into a raging bloodthirsty unstoppable beast driven by the moon and instincts with an insatiable hunger an#need to hide away from people due to them wanting to kill you or fearing you simply because you're a werewolf. they don't know you. they ju#t see you as a creature that might hurt them. constantly being hunted down to be killed simply for existing.#WHAT PART OF THAT SCREAMS: “ah yes. White man.”#IK theres going be people(men and pick mes) that see this post and think “this bitch is overreacting” and tbh idc.the girls who get it get#the girls who dont dont.#anyways shout out to Ginger Snaps trick or treat and every other piece of media or fan piece with disgusting non-f3tiszied woman/poc werewo#i love yall#*smooch smooch*#Werewolves#Werewolf#Lycanthrope#Lycanthropy#Werewolf AU#Yeah. Im tagging that too. I see yall.
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Strong world is the nami and luffy twins manifesto written by oda this is my one piece.
You see luffy's finishing attack with his giant hammer being fueled by lightning which is nami's main weapon with her clima tact and she even made the guy steer the islands towards the cyclone so even if the lighting isn't produced by her the lighting is provided by her either way so luffy AND her finished that guy and even luffy attacked after nami announced how he will lose which also means nami knew and trusted luffy to end him after that and of course he did and
Oh my god luffy making nami explain herself about the message he left on the tone dial and being pissed that she didn't trust him to save and protect her but he got so mad and didn't hear the whole message and she asked luffy to save her omg....... she knew after all that they will come and win..... I love this ending I am going to walk into the sea now goodbye.
Why are whitebeard and ace on the ending credits I already cried. Watching aces part again cause he looks so good. Hello alive dead wife
#the animation in this one..... hell yes.....#img little luffy i missed you!!!! robin doesnt look like herself in this one and franky doesnt have his voice 😞😞 what a disrespect in his#first movie appearance....... franky i will avenge you. your fit is hard tho. well his voice could be his va with a cold. its weird#why is brook smoking a blunt ajdhsksj and sanji tease......#the 3d is too good here.... and someone wants nami bc of her abilities instead of like well everything else.... i might accept this#sanji going insane ajdksjsk zoro what are you wearing on your head......#love the duck following nami like well a baby duck... omg i thought if the duck electrifies the animals in the water nami is fried too#and indeed he was i didnt expect it to follow logic ajdhsj nami found luffy of course#why is nami on top of luffy ajdhsjs doesnt she trust the bird to fly or what#THE BARTENDER FROM THE PIRAGE RACE MOVIE IS HERE TOO!!!!#nami getting arlong flashbacks but now worse#kinda love the crew being protective over her and not to fall into stereotypes but it goes off every time.... they got her away form arlong#nami and usopp omg...... nami once again sacrificing herself... suffered more than jesus.... also her bracelet... i didnt know that#luffy is so mad.... he gets so mad when people leave.... (he gets sad but ofc he cant be sad so next best thing)#NAMI GOT SICK FROM THE TREES!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!#they got changed and everything..... did robin tell them they had to follow the dress code and they all did?? qjsjaka luffys first cape also#luffy that was such a slay. why are they all carrying fire power. he called them a suicide squad... and well a lot of them actually#wasnt expecting this to turn into a mafia movie. surprised luffy knows how to shoot one of those.#nami isnt gonna sacrifice herself luffy said... while she rigs epxlosives in a place she cant move.... luffy she needs an intervention#oh my god. nojiko telling her to have fun.... every time i remember luffy promised gen san to keep her happy i die a little#luffy is gonna get a stroke he is so fucking mad 'nami ill beat this guy and well go back together' ok 🥺🥺#sanji understands perverted gorilla 😭😭#brook got robin instead of sanji.... sick ennies lobby reference bro#also how come franky didnt get his own movie.... like in this one franky AND brook join. confirming my theory that brook doesnt let franky#get confortable in the crew and be with them as the new one for a while bc brook joins immediately after and he doesnt get time to breathe#nami don't cry omg.... she was ready to never see them again omg#i thot nami was gonna electrocute him..... or make him eat the cyclone or smth.... well she said her peace at least#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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rough childhood headcanon qs / @clxscdeyes / no longer accepting !
╰┈➤ 7 . how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?
||. one whole "today years old" post!ragnarok and hela's reveal. Except, even then, according to the movie, not really because Thor is still in heavy denial about all of it where Odin is concerned. I've spoken a bit (here) about how Thor adores his family; he idolizes them and views them through blinding rose-colored glasses, (especially when they're deceased) and that is especially true of his circumstances.
So, very often times when the truth clashes with the rose-colored view of them (namely: his father), Thor does one of two things: find a way to justify the words or action with the surrounding context of the time to make it make sense (e.g., well he scolded me harshly because i was talking back), or avoid it altogether. (this is his go-to. no talking about it; thor would rather not right now, so he does not.)
Key example being: he would rather focus on how his father changed his ways, and the Odin that he knew and grew up with was a man who had turned away from pursuing war for war's sake, and was instead one who valued peace and life. He would rather focus on that aspect of Odin, and take in the broader picture of Odin's life. REGARDLESS of the fact that what Thor is deeply, personally affected - not with the realization that Odin changed his ways once upon a time - but by the fact that he lied to him, manipulated him, and controlled and shaped every aspect of his being, for Thor's whole life, JUST to avoid another Hela. Someone who Thor is not, could not be farther from, and never knew about, because Odin (apparently) kept the matter of his true first-born a closely-guarded secret and seemingly would have continued to were it not for Odin's death, Hela's escape, and Ragnarok all coinciding at the same moment in time.
And this, all because Thor rationalizes it as "well, I wouldn't want to be remembered and judged based on the person that I used to be. I should extend that same kindness to my father, because he too, changed." (x10 because now Odin is dead. And it's in poor-taste to speak ill of a dead man.)
The problem namely being: Thor only talks about things when Thor decides it's time to talk about things ; when he is ready. ...but as this is a topic that ripple effects down to Thor's core, good luck getting him to open up about it, even just with himself.
#(yknow what sucks most about this is that 2011-2015 thor was on a trajectory where)#(while he still wouldn't talk about a lot of things he wasn't as firmly rooted in /absolute denial/ like he is now >>)#(he would lock up and not talk about his personal feelings but he was still /thinking/ about them)#(- and could grow ready to share his thoughts once he processed through all of it.)#(or at least he would broach the broad concepts while still lightly brushing over 'k but how did it make THOR feel')#(dude would rather choke than talk about his own feelings no support system for thor he's so dumb)#(which is also just so funny because he never /denied/ the fact that he's feeling under the weather either)#(he just... won't elaborate on why he is or how to feel better.)#(but anyways)#(to rationalize the trajectory shift away from 'thor being able to talk about deeply upsetting topics for him even if it's uncomfortable')#(i've decided that so much has happened in such a short amount of time and there's /so/ many things eating at him-)#(-that he's subconsciously decided he's not going to talk much about any of them. because there's just too much.)#(the vibe of 'if i talk about this now i'm going to fall and if i fall i don't know if i can get up again because it's finally too heavy)#(-and i can't afford to fall down bc there's too much at stake outside of me so i just will not take the chance')#(he can if he's ever with someone he truly trusts and he can speak about it NORMALLY if that person pushes him enough)#(because you've always had to needle thor to /actually answer your question/ rather than talk half-way around it)#(//stares at thor 2011 where he never opens up to jane even once not even at the fire-side chat)#(but until then it's big denial mode bc ragnarok messed him up something fierce and i'm not even talking about-)#(-the order of in-universe events that happen in the movie orz)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#( answered . ) — black feathers fall to a raven's call .#clxscdeyes#( headcanon . ) — glory to the man who toils for his land . may it ever prosper .
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thinking about the whole robpat!batman movie’s thesis being “shit. fuck. turns out this whole time the legacy of my rage and vengeance-fueled vigilante justice has been enabling domestic terrorism by entitled white men. all along what this city needed and what i needed was healing and extending our hands to our neighbors instead of continuing the cycle of trauma and violence” like the movie put their whole chest into that. it looked at their audience and said to their face “you guys never actually understood what batman is about. you saw the dark brooding aesthetic and the toxic masculinity and the individualistic lonewolfism and you see that as something to aspire to, when the point of batman was always Corruption And Evil Exists Within Those With Power And Money Not In Mental Illness, and by missing that and making it all about yourself you became the villain of this story.” in theaters right in front of batman stans. no wonder robpat was cast for this like i’ve never seen someone pull off self-loathing white man so naturally
#laughs awkwardly#sorry i watched black adam recently (long story) and like. i can't help but feel like the subversive parts of it#just weren't as strong as how it felt to watch a batman movie where batman had to beat the crap of his own fans#like [SPOILERS] black adam wanted to be self-aware about superhero films and wanted to point out the american propaganda#inherent to the concept of 'international justice' but because it was primarily pulled off through funny quips it felt like it didn't COMMIT#(felt very marvel in that respect actually)#like yes your main character told off the western superheroes for the hypocrisy of their 'peace' efforts but then... what?#in the end the westerners were still the genuine and helpful people they claimed they were. the main characters had to trust them to survive#in the end the self-actualization of an oppressed people felt hollow because we barely spent any time with them during the story#in the end the people's chosen hero turned out to be not who they thought he was and his character turning point to become a hero was...#he magically knew to break out of an underwater prison? honestly that part was a little confusing to me but extremely horrifying#like this guy basically explicitly said 'you should kill me. that's what i want' AND THEY JUST DID NOT DO THAT#like obviously i know he needed to come back since the movie was about him but like. damn. way to not at all respect his autonomy#he said 'i should die' and they went 'haha but instead we're gonna put you in storage forever so you never reunite with your family in death#HORROR. THE MOST DYSTOPIAN SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR OWN IN CASE WE FIND IT USEFUL LATER#WE'RE SO PEACEFUL THAT WE CAN NEVER ACCEPT [GASP] MURDER BUT ANY OTHER VIOLATION OF YOUR CONSENT IS FINE#HOW WAS THIS BRUSHED OVER SO CASUALLY#WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT BEFORE#yeah you know what i don't really know where i was going with this either. i just had Thoughts#like did i think the rob!patman the movie took itself so seriously it was accidentally kind of comedic? yeah for sure#but because they took it seriously it felt like the element of metacommentary was sincere. like i can also take it seriously#i keep thinking about that scene where rpatz was interrogating the riddler and the horror that dawns on him#because he's looking at this man who idolizes batman but despises bruce wayne and realizes Oh God That's Me. This Is What I Created#like shit dude i don't think superhero films necessarily should or must be Deep in an Artistic way but i can give them props for trying?
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just watched notting hill which is supposed to be like an epitome of a good romcom and... Well. Let's just say i highly disagree
#jab we met (2006) really fcked up my expectations of what a good romcom should be#also stuff like nothing serious (2021). it's not enough with the pretty cinematography the colorful#(pun intendes cause they're all white) cast of side characters and the chemistey between the lead actors#i need their background their baggage their context how they actually connect as human beings and change each other#otherwise you're just preaching a stupid idea of what love should be and making up a story where the main couple#go back and forth because PLOT but it's actually because there's practically nothing going on between them in terms of actual trust#you're selling infatuation as love and they're not the same#so in notting hill we know anna has all these troubles. we know she has been in an abusive relationship one after the other. we know she#has a bf by the time she meets the guy. we know that but we never EXPLORE that. we see she's deeply hurt that her intimate#photos were leaked and that her relationship with the guy (her only solace) was revealed to the press but we never really DEAL with the#consequences of that. we're TOLD the guy is a hopeless romantic and an pverall decent fellow. they let drop he dated bella at some point#and worst of all we know he got divorced recently. but we never see his ex wife we know nothing about her he doesn't seem to think#about her at all which is odd at best for someone who claims to both be very devoted to the one he's in love and also claims he's#only been in love twice (bella & his exwife) before anna. we don't see their baggage just hear it. we don't see them talk it out or work#through it and when anna reacts roughly surely because of stress and trauma the narrative ends up putting her in the wrong (though to be#fair he isn't protrayed as being in the right exactly). the film is supposedly all about illusion vs reality and anna's deakre to be seen#for what she is (just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her thing) but actually the movie is about infatuation. a deep#one sure buy not about love. it's about solace but not nuance. it's fairy tale but fairy tales don't work in real life. we're supposed to#strive for the fairy tale which is literally completely impossible to achieve#effective romance movies and romcoms have that fantasy element for sure but they stay grounded. if not in plot surely in human connection#laura watches stuff
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The greatest curse of Us, without a doubt, is the... us-centrism of the fact that we are Us and no one else. Our view on the world is limited and we are frequently subject to the logical fallacy of The Curse Of Knowledge and we're even more frequently beset upon by the fact that some people, like, are Genuinely Averse to depictions of things they've Dealt With themselves.
Like, what do you mean you're talking about this thing as a reason that this media sucks? What do you mean you actively avoid media that depicts things you went through? Do you not gain that feeling of connection from watching people go through something similar to what you did? Do you lack the feelings that are so easy to conjure up in a strong way from seeing a character dealing with the Same Damn Shit? Do you not look at art to feel things?
#this is a very long winded way to say that we got a media recommendation from a callout post again#we speak#“this media contains depictions of medical abuse and nonconsensual surgery and it puts heavy emphasis on these things”#“it highlights this transplanted thing and the difference from his body constantly”#and we're nodding along like “oh yeah sounds awesome”#and then they hit us with “i don't know why they thought this was appropriate for a family friendly franchise"#“other than the sheer ignorance of the developers about disabled peoples' medical experiences”#like HUH??? WHAT??? do you think that people only include fucked up shit that also happens to real people out of ignorance???#like. even ignoring the obvious “people can create depictions of real and fucked up stuff and that is in no way inherently bad” thing#have you never seen half of the family friendly things in the past decade? did you not read books as a kid? have you never revisited like#any kind of childhood books or games or movies or anything???#theres fucked up shit in kids media all the time! we'll go so far as to say that there should be MORE fucked up shit in kids media#because you need! to actually learn shit exists and figure out how to deal with it! and the earlier you can figure it out the better!#and even ignoring that like. its an AUTONOMY ISSUE. which is the one thing that kids will probably be able to connect to best!#because the single problem that kids and disabled fucks like us have in common the most is lack of autonomy!#a kid will be able to understand and connect with this issue because they have spent their lives surrounded by people#who sign them up to have things done with their bodies without first asking permission from them#who will have things done for them because they're kids and in their eyes cannot be trusted to make decisions of their own#even ignoring that disabled kids exist too and will be able to understand like. most of them will be able to recognize that kinds thing#theyre kids. they arent stupid. they can see this and relate to it as having problems Like Them but slightly more exaggerated#and maybe we're a bit opinionated about this but like#we're disabled! every word on this screen only makes us want to check this out because hey! sounds like the kind of shit we'd like!#we are VISCERALLY FAMILIAR with the kind of shit that people go through because guess what! we've been in the pits too!#we can appreciate the content warning for what its worth but the tone and the way youre saying it is just#look. we're sorry you didn't like it. different strokes for different folks and et cetera. what can help one person can harm another.#acting like medical abuse is a subject that should never be depicted in media for anyone but Mature Adults(tm) or whatever is just#bad#not to have opinions on childrens media but LACK of disabled people and such in media very much fucked us up more than them existing#let the kids have their medical abuse narrative and maybe itll give them a point to connect or get through something of their own#because let us tell you. having points to compare to? having even a fictionalized depiction to relate to?
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should i go see how to have sex or the ballad of songbirds and snakes
#i saw one tweet about how to have sex that said it was good and i trust my mutuals with my life.#okay i lied i actually already wanted to see it and then i saw the tweet#and i was supposed to go see tbosas with my friends but they can't go this weekend and they don't know if they can next weekend#or actually no it's just one friend but the others didn't even answer so it's not like they'd be allowed to get mad at me --'#i'm gonna watch both it's just that i'm impatient i don't know if i can do not watching tbosas for a week.#like i'm ready i reread the book two weeks ago and everything#it would be pretty funny if i went to see it by myself because in 2013 i had two friends who liked the hunger games and i overheard them#say they were gonna go see catching fire together so i was like omg can i go with you! and then i found out that they went without me??????#so of course i never mentioned it again and just went by myself while my mom and my sister were watching frozen👍#very upsetting. i've never seen frozen fun fact#and yeah after that i didn't go see a movie by myself until like early 2022? i was traumatized sorry. now i do it all the time because no#one's ever interested in seeing my movies and i also like to go at like random times in the middle of the week#how to have sex is free because remember when the ceiling started falling apart two hours into killers of the flower moon and they#gave us two free tickets...so i'll have to go twice before the end of the year.#anyway#literally if tbosas is good i'll just go again with my friends if our schedules ever line up#what's annoying is also that there aren't that many showings in like english with subtitles. in the city we're seeing it in there's way#more in the city i'm in but. whatever😭#and like i say: brf slt
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If you haven’t seen Wish yet and you love Disney, do not go see it. I am telling you now. It is ripping out the hearts of the Disney movies you love and then waving their corpses around as if celebrating those hearts.
I’ll explain why, again: the message of Wish? Awful. Anti-Disney.
But they've been doing this for a long time. Saying one thing with their movies, and saying another with their PR and Disney Parks Soundtracks.
I'll explain.
Main Idea of Disney's Wish (and the You Are the Magic theme park song and merch): "The power to make your wishes come true is in you."
≠
Most Disney Movies' Idea on How to Have Wishes: "Do what's right, (trust a higher power) and something even more wonderful than what you wished will happen."
Don't try to argue with me about this. You have to look underneath the slogans and the sweater designs and the song titles to what the stories actually support to acknowledge this.
Because you can’t say “do what’s right” has power unless you answer the question “who gets to decide ‘what’s right?’” (Which, coincidentally, is a question Wish brings up and then doesn’t answer.)
Audiences of Disney used to accept that wishing on a star was much like prayer; there’s something you long for, and it’s out of your hands, but you wish for it and you do what you know is right in the meantime. And you’re not crushed, you’re not downhearted, because somewhere in your mind you trust that the combo of those two things—wishing on a higher power and diligence to do what’s good—will be what makes your wish come true.
Trust in a higher power—COMBINED WITH:
—diligence to do what’s good.
The Blue Fairy (higher power) gave Geppetto his wish specifically because he had demonstrated commitment to do good, whether he got what he wanted or not.
The Fairy Godmother (higher power) gave Cinderella her wish specifically because she kept on being kind and good to low creatures like mice and wicked stepsisters, whether she got what she wanted or not.
Do you know why that combo (higher power + diligence to do good) is impactful? Timeless? Important?
Because it’s selfless. You want something, but you’re not going to sacrifice doing the right thing to get it. You’re not going to focus so hard on making what you want a reality, on your own, that you miss out on things that could be more important than what you want. And, you’re not so self-focused as to believe that if you don’t do it, it won’t get done.
Jeez, that’s the whole point of The Princess and the Frog!
Tiana wishes to have her own restaurant, and she believes that only her own hard work will grant that wish. She misunderstands her dad’s advice before he dies. She isn’t willing to trust a higher power combined with her own diligence to do good—she only trusts her own ability.
It’s not until she realizes that Ray, the character of faith, was right all along that she learns—what she wished for was too self-focused. It wasn’t complete without love. Something bigger than herself. And getting that was never going to happen just based on her own hard work.
But you know what? It was never going to happen just by a “higher-power” flavored shortcut, either. Because Facilier offers her her wish if she’ll just trust him, no hard work needed. But what does she say?
Trust in a higher power + diligence to do what’s right = selflessness, and getting more than you could have ever wished for. And if your wish is selfish, doing those two things will change your wish into something selfless.
More examples? Get ‘em while they’re hot, in case Wish made you forget, just like the current #NotMyDisney executives have forgotten, what real Disney wishes are for.
Belle wishes to have adventures in the great wide somewhere--but when she's imprisoned and that chance is taken from her it's not reversed because she worked hard to make her wish come true. It's granted because she gave up her wish for her father: she just did the right thing, regardless of her wish. And in the end, she does get what she wished for, which is adventure in an enchanted castle...and much more, because she gets true love, a throne, and a castle full of friends.
How about the One Who Started It All? The one Wish is failing to pay genuine tribute to?
Snow White wishes for someone to love her, and he does--but when they're separated, she does not exercise power to make The Prince come back to her. Instead, she loves who she can where she’s at—the Dwarfs. In the meantime, she has faith that he will keep his promise, and that pure trust in a higher power outside of her control is a big contributing factor to why the Dwarfs come to love her, and learn from her...and in the end, even more than she could've wished happens. He does take her to his castle, but she also has seven new friends who also love her, and the Queen is dead. And she didn’t need to use “the power in her” to work harder and get it done. She just needed to not focus so much on herself at all.
How about a male main character? One who’s wish starts out selfish, but after learning to wish on a higher power and be diligent to do the right thing, gets more than he could wish for?
Aladdin wishes to be somebody different (somebody he believes Jasmine could love, somebody who lives in a palace and is respected and “never has any troubles at all.”)—but doing everything in his own power for that wish proves that it was selfish all along; so he switches to doing the right thing, regardless of if his wish comes true, and he gets even more than he could’ve wished. He gets real love with Jasmine, he gets his friend Genie, and he gets to be free from feeling “trapped” because he doesn’t have to hide who he is anymore.
Or Simba?
Simba wishes to get to do whatever he wants as King—but when Mufasa dies and he’s convinced it’s his fault, it isn’t for that wish that he goes back to Pride Rock to confront his past and his Uncle. It’s because he had an encounter with a higher power—his father—that helped him to realize his wish was selfish all along. He gives up the selfish wish, and he goes back to take his place as king, not so he can do whatever he wants, but so that he can take self-sacrificial responsibility that comes with ruling. And because he just does the right thing, finally, he gets more than what he wished for.
How about something more recent? Zootopia.
Judy wishes to make the world a better place by proving she can be what she wants to be and catching bad guys—but when she tries to make her wish happen on her own, in her own abilities, she fails and is forced to realize that she should’ve been looking for help by understanding “bad guys,” like Nick. It’s only after she humbled herself, admits she’s wrong, and changes her wish from “proving I can be what I want and catching bad guys” to “proving that understanding each other makes the world a better place” (much less self-focused) that her wish comes true—and so much more. She does make the world a better place, and she does get to catch bad guys, but she also gets to befriend one who was a good guy all along, and become all-around more effective at her dream job.
This is how Disney always has been. Because it’s at the heart of good storytelling, and even life (not to get too dramatic.)
The power is not in you. Because it’s not about you. Self-sacrifice, faith, and doing the next right thing regardless of if you get your heart’s fondest desire is what makes more than just your wishes come true. And there has to be belief in a higher power to make that message powerful.
But Wish?
Not only is it bad at showing instead of telling. Not only is it lazy and soulless.
But it’s characters rip the Star out of the sky and say “don’t wish on this. Wish on yourself, to get what you wish for. You don’t need a higher power. You don’t even need to sacrifice to do what’s good—whatever you do is good, because you are the one doing it.”
That is wrong. That is not true, and it is not powerful. There’s no sacrifice in focusing on or placing your trust totally in yourself, and it undoes every good thing Disney has done up until now.
And it undoes it on the 100th anniversary, and it flaunts Easter eggs of the very things it’s undoing.
#pinocchio#disney#wish#Disney’s wish#wish Disney#Wish#Disney#meta#character analysis#storytelling#the princess and the frog#Disney fan#princess tiana#tiana#Naveen#Dr. Facilier#disney villains#asha#king Magnifico#Valentino#queen Amaya#ariana debose#chris pine#Cinderella#classic movies#film analysis#animated movies#animation#wish 2023#Aladdin
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reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader
you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.
based on this request:
Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together
Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others
yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life
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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me
user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge
landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"
user3: that's so real though
yourusername: thank you!
landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow
yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?
landonorris: ???
yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?
landonorris: i guess...
yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before
landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone
yourusername: so you'll consider ?
landonorris: fine...
user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy
user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW
oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?
yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?
oscarpiastri: touche
maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually
yourusername: ???
landonorris: ???
user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭
user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?
user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this
landonorris
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)
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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love
user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off
yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD
landonorris: they're not my children
yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them
landonorris: you spent my money on them yes
yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up
user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history
user12: who would willingly sign up for that
user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n
maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?
yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store
maxverstappen1: perf
yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families
landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy
maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?
landonorris: nO
yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!
landonorris: i have an interested candidate
yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?
landonorris: nope!
user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak
user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win
f1wagupdates
liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others
tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55
f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.
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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT
user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend
user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD
user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭
user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(
user25: this has mess written all over it
user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt
user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?
user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end
user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?
user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos
user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags
user32: i hope y/n is prepared
user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny
carlossainz55
liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others
carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl
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user34: well that's not y/n
user35: that finished faster than i expected
user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job
landonorris: call me bro
carlossainz55: si, cabron
user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call
user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?
user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be
user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?
user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯♂️
user42: AHHHH???
maxverstappen1: oh that's not-
yourusername: you're so chronically online :(
maxverstappen1: you're alive?
yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in
maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?
carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?
yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here
maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.
carlossainz55: i'm so confused
user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?
user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others
yourusername: certified boy hater
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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you
landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn
yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement
landonorris: carlos is attractive?
yourusername: he ghosted me?
carlossainz55: i am right here
yourusername: blocked.
landonorris: did you actually just block him?
yourusername: yes 😀 !
landonorris: god this is a nightmare
yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT
landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section
user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment
user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿
maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here
yourusername: of course not pookie
oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?
yourusername: no?
oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue
yourusername: no, i don't think i will
oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE
maxverstappen1: what oscar said
user49: oscar and max are so real
user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger
landonorris
liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others
landonorris: some snaps from '23
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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?
user52: i don't think it was intended for us
user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it
yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.
landonorris: i came second in singapore.
yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?
landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n
yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position
landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.
yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her
landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?
yourusername: maybe.
user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses
user55: don't get my hopes up
danielricciardo: i hope this works lol
landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?
danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think
landonorris: i'm not sexy :(
danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.
user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful
liked by yourusername
user57: I SAW THAT 📸
user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point
oscarpiastri: noted.
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.
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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO
user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.
user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE
maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time
yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM
maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful
yourusername: it was painful for me too
maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS
yourusername: one date! ONE!
maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?
yourusername: fine.
carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE
maxverstappen1: lol
yourusername: lol
user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n
landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨
user65: OOP.
landonorris: i love you doofus
yourusername: i love you too muppet
landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?
yourusername: it got to over £300
landonorris: ours was £750
yourusername: are we dumb?
landonorris: no!
oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other
yourusername: LEAVE US BE
landonorris: oscar :(
user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭
landonorris
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others
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landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.
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user67: MY BABIES
user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them
oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos
user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?
oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend
landonorris: OSCAR!
oscarpiastri: am i wrong?
landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end
oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track
user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me
maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!
landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries
yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs
maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment
yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?
landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO
maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?
yourusername: nope!
landonorris: nope!
maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both
yourusername: thank you max !!
landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock
yourusername: get that bag sis
landonorris: ???
yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)
landonorris: yes we do :) xx
user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute
fin.
note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 instagram au#f1#f1 social media au#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris insta au#lando norris x you#lando norris instagram edit
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come clean
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: joel comes home after a messy day on patrol, but you're already in the shower
warnings: 18+ MDNI, fluff, language, getting together, slow buildup, jackson era, smut, handjob, f!masturbation, fingering, unprotected piv, rough sex, shower sex, size kink
word count: 4.7k
a/n: this one goes out to emotional support daydreams! as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated. hope y'all enjoy 💕
Joel’s having a rough day. It’s late, and he’s bone-tired and covered in…well, he’s not really sure what he’s covered in. Mud and bits of dead grass, definitely, but there's splotches of red on his jeans, too. He couldn’t tell you whether it’s his blood or something else’s—the adrenaline still hasn’t completely worn off, so it’s entirely possible he’s not feeling the full extent of his injuries yet.
His day hadn’t started that badly, but it wasn’t a typical morning, either. Maria had stopped him and Tommy at the gate to ask if they'd mind checking out a situation at the dam instead of patrolling their usual route.
Apparently, some of the machinery was acting up and the only person she trusted to oversee the repairs was Tommy. She honestly hadn't given much thought to Joel's part in all of it—their relationship is still pretty tense, even after his return to Jackson, so he was just along for the ride.
Things went downhill fast after they arrived at their destination. No one's really sure how the infected got into the facility, but it was a lucky thing Joel was there after all. With the help of a few guards, they were able to dispatch everything in and around the building without any bites or serious injuries but, boy, did they make a serious mess. Of the facility and the machinery they were supposed to help fix, and of Joel.
So now here he is, exhausted and dirty, getting shit from his kid when all he wants to do is get clean and take a fucking nap.
“Ew, gross,” Ellie groans, clearly not giving two shits about how badly Joel’s day is going or how little she’s helping right now. She had the day off and is somehow still watching movies in the same spot he left her in this morning. “Stop touching things! You’re getting shit everywhere.”
He ignores her and shrugs off his coat, walking into the living room to toss it over the back of his recliner, but she throws him a dirty look that stops him in his tracks.
"Whatever, m'gettin’ in the shower," he grunts, dropping it on the doormat instead. He'll probably have to burn that coat anyway if the stains and…odor are anything to go by.
"Uhhhh, no, actually you're not," she says matter-of-factly, and he raises his eyebrows, eyeing her expectantly when she doesn't elaborate.
"Why the fuck not?"
"Did your hearing get worse or something? Shower's already on,” she nods toward the stairs. He’s not sure how he didn’t notice the sound of running water filtering down from the second floor earlier, but now he’s annoyed that he can’t shower and that she might actually be right about his hearing.
"Well then, I'm waitin' here," he sasses back, taking a seat on the recliner with zero regard to the upholstery.
"Dude!" She’s starting to look as exasperated as he feels. And her reaction isn’t unwarranted. If he touches literally anything in this living room, they’ll probably have to burn it, too.
"Fine, fine, m'not touchin' anythin'," he stands back up, holding his hands up in surrender. "How long's she been in there?"
"Like, five minutes. Probably gonna be a while, knowing her,” she replies with an amused grin. Oh, so she thinks this is funny.
"The fuck do ya expect me to do then, stand here ‘til she's out?" He asks as if it’s not exactly what he’s been doing the entire time they’ve been having this conversation.
"As long as you don't sit on any of the furniture, I don't really give a shit what you do," she shrugs.
He rolls his eyes at her, running a hand down his face in frustration. He’s just about to give up and hose himself down in the yard when she finally offers a solution.
"You could just knock and see if she'll swap out with you. She basically just got in, anyway."
“Y’know what, I think I will,” he grumbles, heading upstairs to the bathroom and leaving Ellie to her shitty 90s sci-fi thriller. She shakes her head, laughing as she slips on her headphones.
“Don’t be too loud up there!”
But with his bad ears, he doesn’t hear her.
God, you needed this shower so badly. It's been a rough day, to say the least, and it’s finally time to get the relaxation you deserve. You got saddled with an extra patrol shift because two of the usual guys had a last-minute change of assignment, and it turned a typical day into an unbelievably exhausting one.
But tonight you got lucky. There was no one around to use up all of the hot water besides Ellie, who’s been glued to the TV all day, and you miraculously got home before Joel. So tonight, you get to enjoy the expensive bottle of shampoo you found at some fancy store in some fancy mall last month, and let yourself forget for a while that there’s fucking fungus monsters out there eating people.
That is—until someone knocks on the door and ends your perfect evening before it begins. Now you’ve got soap in your eyes, and you’re slightly worried because Ellie either needs something from the bathroom or the house is on fire. There’s never an in-between with her.
“Ellie? Everything okay?” you call out, really hoping it’s not the latter.
The voice that responds is muffled and decidedly much deeper than Ellie’s, and you’re momentarily taken off guard before you realize it’s not a burglar. It’s Joel—of course, it’s Joel. He probably got off his shift late and wants to clean up, and now you feel bad for making him wait and using up all the hot water.
You can’t really hear what he’s saying over the shower, so you slide the curtain open to poke your head out. “What? Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
He tries to answer you again, or at least you think he does, but you still can’t make him out, so you tell him to come inside. The door only opens a crack, but it's so quick that there's no time to duck behind the curtain before Joel's face appears and you're both staring at each other blankly.
“…Hi,” you breathe out, praying it’s just your head and not the rest of your body peeking out. “So, um, what were you saying?”
He looks a little embarrassed and it’s adorable, but the thought only crosses your mind for a split second before you notice the rest of him. He’s—there’s really no nice way to say this, but he looks revolting.
There’s dirt everywhere. Matted in his hair, under his fingernails, all over his clothes. It looks like he’s been rolling around on the ground all day, and honestly, maybe he has. He’s also got…gross, is that a chunk of…? Nope. It looks like someone exploded in his face, and he needs a shower. Badly.
The only problem is you’re covered head-to-toe in soap, and you’re pretty sure you’ve only got about 15 minutes of hot water left.
He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry to barge in on ya,” he mumbles, looking pointedly away from you. “I came up here to see if you wouldn’t mind pausin’ your shower for a bit, but I, uh…can see that’s gonna be a little difficult.”
You look down at yourself and, yeah, he’s right. You’re dripping water and soap all over the floor. Getting out now would be a pain in the ass, but he also really needs to get in.
“No, no. It’s totally fine! It makes way more sense for me to sit around soapy than for you to, um, stand around like that,” you reason. It’s his turn to look down at himself, and he grimaces. “Just turn around for a sec and we can swap.”
He nods, still looking sheepish, but grateful.
You duck back into the shower to shut the water off and gather up your toiletries to make room for his. You’ve already shoved half of your stuff to one side before you realize it was probably just a waste of time because there was already plenty of space—and that's when it dawns on you.
This stall is pretty big—as far as showers go, anyway. There's no reason you can't both fit in here at the same time. It's also not like he's never seen you naked before. You joined up with Joel and Ellie long before running water was in the picture, so you've had your fair share of awkward bathing encounters. Really, it's just a matter of whether or not he'll go for it.
You pop your head back out, taking a second to admire those strong, broad shoulders of his before getting his attention. Damn, he's a real catch. Hot and respectful. But seriously, he's so disgusting right now and it would be a shame to allow that to continue.
"Hey, Joel," you start, and he glances back carefully over his shoulder. You hesitate for a beat before continuing, “So, hear me out—what if we just…if we both showered…at the same time…”
He looks confused, and you realize how badly you botched that entire sentence. Okay, so talking around it didn't work. You take a deep breath to steady yourself before trying again.
"Just—just get in with me," you say softly. "We can shower together."
His brow furrows, eyes unreadable. He looks like he might be thinking it over, but his silence isn't exactly the most encouraging reaction in the world. Subconsciously, you hold your breath while you wait for an answer.
There’s no way he’s going to go for this, is there? It’s Joel. He can barely look at you in a tank top without blushing, let alone wet and naked. You’re not even sure why you bothered asking. It was clearly a dumb—
“Yeah, guess that makes sense,” he nods, turning back to you fully, and you swear he’s looking at you differently. That's…not what you were expecting. Not that you're complaining in the slightest. He's not even trying to hide his eagerness, and you're starting to think maybe he was waiting for you to ask all along.
"Well, come on in, cowboy."
Joel undresses slowly, eyeing what little of you he can see greedily, and it makes your cheeks burn. It’s like he can’t look away—from your eyes and lips, your collarbone. Even the tiny droplets of water that fall from your hair. It feels more intimate than any moment you’ve ever shared with Joel, and he hasn’t even touched you. Yet, hopefully.
You’re getting impatient. He's making a show of stripping down and it's taking everything you have not to get out of the shower and rip all of his clothes off yourself. His fingers are so thick, and more and more of his tanned, weather-worn skin is exposed to you as they work to unbutton his shirt.
You’re pretty sure you’re drooling at this point, imagining those fingers sinking deep inside you before you can stop yourself. Fuck, you're pent up. And should probably have a lot more shame, but now he's unzipping his jeans, and you feel like you're about to combust.
You let out a pained noise without meaning to and he chuckles, shaking his head as he picks up the pace. "I'm comin', I'm comin'," he teases, dropping his pants to the floor. "Why don't you get the water goin' for me?"
Now you're the one having trouble looking away. Damn, who even is this guy? He’s nothing like the Joel you’ve known for years, and definitely not the Joel who stepped into this bathroom ten minutes ago. If you'd known it would go like this, you would’ve invited him to shower with you a long time ago.
He’s down to just his boxers now, and maybe it's wishful thinking, but he looks like he’s already hard. Swallowing is suddenly extremely difficult, so you shoot him one last appreciative look before doing what he asked.
You turn the water back on and it’s still pleasurably warm as it rains down onto your tense shoulders. The steady pressure soothes some of the nerves while you wait for him to join you, but you’re so caught up in the moment that you don't notice the curtain opening.
"Scoot over," he murmurs behind you, his breath fanning out over the back of your neck. He’s close, so much closer than you expected him to be. You assumed you’d be dancing around each other for at least a little while longer, but it seems like Joel knows exactly what he wants, and it’s not just the shower.
He reaches around you to grab that expensive bottle of shampoo you’ve been looking forward to, his fingers grazing your bare skin, and you shiver despite the heat of the water.
“Or you could stay right here,” he says, even closer now, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “We could help each other out—with washin’ up, I mean.”
You inhale shakily, your reply getting caught in your throat. “Y-yes—yeah, yes…we should definitely do that,” you breathe out.
He chuckles and the sound is surprisingly affectionate. It gives you hope that this won’t just be a one-time thing. That after all this time, he wants you as much as you want him.
You’re the first to initiate physical contact, reaching back to bury your fingers in his hair which, in retrospect, turns out to be a terrible idea. He’s still filthy, and your fingers get caught in tangles and dirt and…probably a lot of other nasty shit you don’t want to think about.
You snort out a laugh, turning around to face him. “I think you’re up first, handsome.”
The corners of his mouth tip up as he nods, and you can’t resist the urge to reach up and trace his bottom lip with your thumb. He kisses the pad of your finger, and you wish so badly that it was your lips.
For the second time tonight, you’re feeling incredibly impatient. You want to feel more of him, let him press you up against the wall and kiss you, touch you the way you both want him to, but it’ll have to wait.
You pluck the bottle from his hands and squeeze a huge dollop into your palm, telling him to turn around with a small smile. His eyes drop to the quirk of your lips for a moment too long before he obliges, and you’re starting to realize he’s getting impatient, too.
You reach up to thread your fingers into his graying hair and, somehow, the strands still feel soft despite everything tangled up in them. It’s going to take a decent amount of scrubbing before it’s back to its normal, fluffy state of disarray, but you’ll make it feel good for him. A little taste of what's to come.
He tips his head back as you massage in the shampoo, letting out the softest groan when your fingernails scratch along his scalp, and you have to press your thighs together to relieve the growing ache in your core. You’re not going to make it through this shower if he keeps making noises like that. But, of course, he does, and they're getting louder.
You can feel his body starting to respond to yours, too. It’s a little cruel how you’re purposely working him up, sliding a washcloth over his shoulders and across his back, letting your fingers skim teasingly over his skin as you stretch your arms around him to reach his front.
His stomach flexes under your palm, and he inhales sharply as your hardened nipples graze across his back. You continue your path down, running your fingers through the coarse hair at the base of his cock, and his hips jerk forward, seeking the friction you so desperately want to provide. He's panting, and you're both having a difficult time holding yourselves back.
Brown and red swirl in the water around your feet and down the drain, and it's enough to tell you that he's finally clean. And that you can finally touch him the way you want to.
Pressing yourself firmly against his back, you reach down to wrap your fingers around his cock and he feels huge in your hand, rock hard and pulsing with his racing heartbeat. You pump him a few times, giving him a firm squeeze at the base, and he keens, already leaking all over himself.
He braces a hand on your hip to steady himself as you trail open-mouthed kisses down his spine, digging his fingers in roughly when you slowly start to jerk him off in earnest.
"T-that's it, pretty girl—,” he pants heavily, eyes dropping down to watch you work him, and you twist your wrist up on the next stroke, thumbing over his head. "Keep goin', just like that."
You whimper damply against his skin at the pet name, feeling a pleasurable whoosh in your belly as your cunt drips pathetically down your thighs. The throbbing between your legs is almost unbearable, but you don't want to let him go, not when his hips are meeting your fist so fucking desperately. You wedge a hand between your bodies, slipping it lower and lower until your fingers rub against your slick folds, gathering some of the wetness to rub soothing circles into your clit.
“I got you, I got you,” you moan at the sudden relief. Your caresses start to match his thrusts, and soon he's trembling in your arms, whimpering like he'll cum any second if you let him. You rub your cheek tenderly against his back, murmuring soft, encouraging words into his heated skin.
"You're doing so, so well," you tell him, and he seizes up at the praise, chest heaving as you focus your attention closer to the tip. "You wanna cum or are you gonna wait for me? Want you to fill me up…can you do that for me?"
For a second, you think your words might've thrown him over the edge, his hips stuttering against your palm even as you slow your movements. But he's still clearly fighting the urge to cum, and that has to mean he wants to fuck you badly.
His hand shakes as it lifts to wrap around yours, guiding you down to squeeze the base of his cock to stave off his orgasm, but you're not making it easy for him. You barely notice your other hand still working your pussy, too turned on to realize you've started pumping two fingers in and out of yourself.
Joel notices, though. Something that sounds almost animalistic tears its way out of his chest as he turns on you, snatching your hand out of your cunt and slamming it against the shower wall. Your fingers are shiny and glistening with your wetness and he leans forward to suck each of them into his mouth, groaning at your taste on his tongue.
The look on his face makes it seem like you're the best meal he's ever had, and you feel a strong, sudden urge to have his tongue in your mouth so you can taste yourself. He pulls off your middle finger with an audible pop, and then you're crashing your lips into his, immediately licking into him.
God, why do you taste so good in his mouth? It's salty and heady, and really shouldn't be as hot as it is, but you can't bring yourself to care as his tongue tangles with yours. You feel two—shit, no, it’s three—of his fingers slip into you, and, holy fuck, they're so much bigger than yours. You're already so full and they feel even thicker at the base, nudging a spot that makes you see stars.
There's no way his cock is going to fit inside you…right? But the thought of him trying anyway almost makes you cum on the spot. Another wave of heat crashes through you and your walls convulse around him, pussy gushing down his fingers, and he abruptly breaks away from your lips, groaning lowly, desperately.
"Fuck, I-I need—shit, I need to fuck you, pretty girl," he twitches against you, leaking a glob of precum as he ruts into your belly. “M'gonna fill ya up real good, just like you wanted—," and you gasp, clamping down on his fingers one more time before he's pulling them out and hauling you into his arms, your legs quickly wrapping around his waist as he shoves you higher up the wall.
His hands roam your skin hungrily before eventually settling under the soft swell of your ass, holding you up as he slicks up his cock between your folds. Every time the tip catches your clit, your hips buck clean off the wall and he presses into you harder to keep you in place. You bury your face in his neck, thighs squeezing into his sides.
"S'not gonna fit," you slur, a little drunk off how good he feels between your legs. The next time his hips buck forward, the blunt head of his cock catches your entrance. "J-Joel—ngh…Joel, s'too big, you have to make it fit, please."
And that's when his patience runs out.
He sheathes himself to the hilt in one harsh thrust, growling roughly into your hair, and the stretch is mind-numbing. He stays deep, letting you adjust to the feeling of being split open, and his head drops to your shoulder. His eyes are locked on where you're joined, your pussy stretched around him almost obscenely.
"Would'ja look at that," he mumbles to himself, rocking in and out slowly as he turns his head to suck a bruise into your collarbone. You reach a hand down curiously, wanting to feel yourself around him, and your jaw drops when your fingers brush where his thickness is forcing your cunt to yield to him. "Knew you could take me…pussy feels s-so fuckin' good, like you were made for me."
You whine pathetically as the ache starts to subside and the need for him to fuck you becomes overwhelming. Pleasure blooms where he's already grazing that heavenly spot again, and you tug his head back by his hair, bringing his attention back up to you.
Everything pauses, just for a moment. You kiss his lips delicately, so much more delicate than he's about to be with your body but, right now, you need him to know that it's more than this for you. More than the sex and the physical intimacy. And the way he kisses you back reassures you beyond a doubt that it's more than this for him, too.
Then, your patience runs out.
"Joel, move."
And suddenly, he's spearing up into that spot deep inside you with reckless abandon, bouncing you on his cock, and you're not entirely sure, but you might actually be screaming.
Your head lolls back, thudding dully against the wall, and he ducks down to wrap his lips around your nipple, tongue circling the nub as he continues you work you up and down his shaft. The sound your pussy's making around him should be humiliating, but it only spurs him on, the wet squelching echoing loudly over the running water.
"Hear that? That's all you, baby. So fuckin' wet, look at that," and he's watching himself again in awe as he fucks in and out of you. You follow his gaze and, holy shit, he's not kidding. You're absolutely soaking him. "You look so good like this, so goddamn pretty stretched around my cock."
You still haven't completely acclimated to how thick he is, not sure you ever actually will, and the syrupy-sweet pain of him has you clawing at his back. You use the wall as leverage, arching just enough so you can actively meet his thrusts, and the new angle sends you reeling.
"Feels so…full, so full," you gasp, your back inching higher up the wall with the force of his thrusts. "K-keep going…there, Joel, there."
It's not just that one spot he's hitting anymore—fuck, it feels like he's everywhere. The ridge of his cock is rubbing your walls just right and every other thrust fucks deep enough to graze your cervix. You sob at the onslaught of overpowering pleasure, burying your hands in his hair to tether yourself as your brain begins to fizzle.
Just a little more, you only need a little bit more. You can feel the lower half of your body locking down and, as if he can sense exactly what you need, he grinds his cock in as deep as it'll go.
"That's it, baby. C'mon, give it to me," he grits against your throat. "Squeezin' me so fuckin' tight, you're almost there."
The coarse hairs at the base of his cock scrape roughly and a little painfully against your swollen clit as you rock against him, but the slide is still so slick and raw that your thighs begin to quake around his waist, and it's—fuck, it's so…so…
"M'gonna fucking cum—gonna…oh fuck, fuck, Joel," your lips part around what you pray is a silent scream and your body goes rigid, cunt spasming violently around him.
He chokes out a moan as you clamp down impossibly tighter on his cock. "Fuckin' hell, there we go," he rasps out shakily as he fucks you into the wall blindingly hard, letting you ride him through your orgasm.
"So, s-so good. Feels so fuckin' good," he's starting to mumble to himself deliriously, squeezing your ass hard enough to bruise. You whimper helplessly as his thrusts get sloppier and more desperate, "Gonna fill you up 'til it's leakin' out…c-can I, pretty girl? Please…bet you'd look so fuckin' good with my cum spillin' out of you—"
Before you can even answer, you feel him throb and then his entire body stills, his cock visibly pulsing as he empties into you. He moans his way through it, his head dropping to your shoulder again to watch himself pump you full of cum just like he said he would.
If you thought you felt full before, it's nothing compared to how you feel right now. He's still so deep, twitching pathetically inside you as he lifts his head to nose at the underside of your jaw. He presses a soft kiss there and you sigh, wrapping your arms and legs around him tighter.
"Christ, Joel, where did that come from?" you rasp out. He chuckles, and his whole body shakes with it, jostling his hips into your sensitive clit. Your pussy flutters around him and his breath hitches, fingers digging into the softness of your thighs. He still hasn't pulled out and you have a feeling he doesn't want to.
"Been waitin' a long time for that," he murmurs, meeting your eyes. You smile softly, and your lips command his attention. "Waited a long time for you."
So full of surprises tonight. You’ve traveled with him for years, settled down with your kid, but you never expected this. For him to finally feel the same way you do, to fuck you like that. You’re suddenly extremely thankful he came home in dire need of a shower.
You run your hands up his chest, settling one on his shoulder and burying the other in his hair. The dirt, the grime—it's all gone now, replaced by your release and the sweat of your exertion. He smells so good, just like your fancy shampoo. Just like home.
You lean in to kiss him deeply and he melts into you, his lips soft and warm against yours. When you part, you're met with that look again. The one he gave you after you asked him to shower with you, and that he hasn't stopped giving you since. Like he's observing you, contemplating you.
You recognize it now—it's hope.
"I've been waiting a long time for you too, Joel."
He kisses you again, holding you close as the water goes ice cold.
thanks so much for reading! 🥰
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#joel miller
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𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐩𝐫𝐞-𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩
⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!
ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ
𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿
P.s. this is pre-relationship, when your feelings are still untold...some of the guys are still awkward and some are not :')
𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐄
Visiting Price in his office was a common occurance. Sometimes you brought a drink with you, other times you just brought your old tired self.
This was one of those times.
And without looking up, he patted his knee and you hesitated. But only for a moment because as soon as you saw his pen stop scratching on the paper, you stalked over to him.
You rest your head on his shoulder, trying not to think about the goddamn awful day you had. You knew John would want to talk about it when you were ready. It's one of the things you love about him. He wants to help you no matter what.
As if on Instinctive John wraps his arm around your shoulder and brings you in closer. Your face was flushes against his neck and your hands cling to his other arm.
John is so warm, and makes you feel so safe. Everyday is a battle for you; because you just want to fall into his arms and kiss him until you can no longer breathe.
But you can't, because he's your superior and you don't want to jeapordise anything.
𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘
Wide-eyed and trying not to move. Even his breathing becomes shallower. It's lucky he's wearing a mask otherwise there would've been a bright red Ghost for everyone to see.
Continues to death glare the others, placing a firm finger in front of his lips. Reminding them to SHUT UP.
No one is allowed to talk when you are asleep in the common area. On Ghost's literal orders.
But he never thought you would actually fall asleep on him.
It was a nice feeling. One that made him giddy inside. Like ... he had been chosen for something important.
And maybe he had. This could be a way for your body to tell Ghost that "I WANT YOU!" But unless you actually tell him, he isn't going to get it - or believe it.
𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊
Warmth travels to his cheeks as he realises that you've practically clung yourself to him and fallen asleep.
He had taken you to the movies because you had some spare time on your hands and wanted to feel like normal people for once.
But halfway through, drowsiness had overcome you, and consciousness faded away.
It was easy to fall asleep next to Gaz, whose smell and gentle heartbeat felt like heaven.
You hadn't wondered if this was going to far, you trusted Gaz enough to tell you if it was. But he would never tell you that.
Because there was no 'too far.' He would do anything for you. He just didn't know how to get you to see that.
𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐇
Oh our sweet boy Soap, he would become so goddamn giddy. His cheeks turn red as he moves ever so slowly to look at you.
Watching movies together was a common occurance. Your place or his, it didn't matter. Even the movie didn't matter - though you both argued over it relentlessly. It was a way for you both to spend more time together. A reason to say why you were late for ___
Your head had dropped a little and his eyebrows flew upwards. He would never live it down if you fell straight into his crotch area.
So he moved his arm around your shoulders and let you turn fully around to hug him.
Your face pressed against his neck, breathing in his scent.
"Tha gaol agam ort," he whispers into your hair. You only barely heard it. It means (I love you).
He only ever says it when you cannot hear him. But litte did he know you were catching on to certain Gaelic words. Maybe not at that moment, but you had better hearing than he thought you did.
𝐊𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆
Did not know what to do, and in the midst of his panic, he had accidentally wriggled his shoulder. Which meant you curled up on his lap.
"Oh maus..." Konig whispered, afraid that you would wake up and freak out. But if he truly believed that, then he hadn't been paying attention to your friendship at all.
After ten minutes of the movie playing but Konig couldn't stop staring down at your curled form in his lap, he slowly and gently moved the hair from your face. Stroking your cheeks, running his fingers over your nose and forehead.
It was right then that he fell in love with you. Truly fell in love with you.
A monster and his love. That's how Konig saw the two of you.
𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐈
Charming, suave, flirtacious and utterly awkward when it comes to you.
He makes as much spare time as he can to spend it with you. And curling up on the couch seemed to be the best idea for today.
His large hands wrap around your form and pull you closer.
"Иди спать, малышка" (go to sleep little one) he says quietly, watching you intently as you drift into a deep slumber.
Maybe there is a gun wedged between him and the armrest, but he knows his lifestyle, and how many people want to kill him.
But that is nothing compared to spending time with you.
𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐍
Coughs; yes he actually coughs and a few times at that. Why did he cough? He has no clue. Was he trying to wake you up? See if you accidentally forgot he was there?
In all honesty he was panicking - this wasn't the type of friendship that you had. It was all banter and poking fun at each other.
Someone actually asked if Keegan was being bullied a few weeks ago.
He snorted and just walked away. It was probably the best thing that recruit could've said.
It was after a long mission and you barely had time to undress from your military clothes, when Keegan barged in and held up two family sized bars of chocolate.
"As a thank you for having my back out there, kid."
You couldn't deny the fluttering in your stomach. But saving face was what you two did. So you took both of the offerings and laid down in bed.
"If you're having all the chocolate, I'm not leaving"
"I'm not giving it back Keegan."
"Looks like you have a bunk buddy then."
And the tall man climbed into bed beside you awkwardly trying to get comfortable.
"Jackass," you mumbled. But a slight smile was on your lips. And within an hour you fell asleep.
When you woke up, Keegan was practically ontop of you, melted chocolate on his lips and slight snoring coming from his nose.
𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐏 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒
"What the fuck," he mutters to himself as you rest your head on his shoulder on the plane.
You had both been placed on a mission for months and now that it was over, you were exhausted (to say the very least).
The whole time you were together, there had always been bickering. Especially when you were undercover as a married couple.
So you were used to the hostility of Graves (even though he barely had any anymore when it came to you).
Hence, you were way too tired to give a shit. Honestly, if he were to wriggle you off, you would clutch his arm to keep him still.
But he didn't do that. Instead he feigns annoyance and rests his head against the back of his chair. His eyes flickering over to you every few seconds to see if you were okay (if that were to be brought up, he would say that he was looking out the window).
As the time went by, and you woke up, you found that Graves had found your hand and was clutching it.
𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐎
Sinks into you as well. His culture isn't so rigid as others. And showing affection means multiple things, but the main thing is that it means he cares.
Where your head lolled on his shoulder, he moved back on the couch, yawned, and pulled you down with him. Your sleeping head was rested gently against Ale's chest.
He knew about your feelings for him, and you knew about his, so this situation was awkward. He knew he had to step up and say something, but it had turned into a game of sorts. As if the first person who spoke up would lose.
But having you on his chest, smelling your hair, feeling the weight of your body on his, he decided that he would happily be the loser.
#witchthewriter#headcanons#captain john price#simon riley#ghost#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#konig#konig headcanons#konig x plus size reader#konig x reader#konig mw2#konig fluff#nikolai cod#nikolai cod x reader#nikolai cod headcanons#cod headcanons#alejandro vargas#philip graves x reader#philip graves headcanons#cod keegan#keegan russ x reader#keegan p russ#keegan x reader#keegan russ#call of duty ghosts#soap headcanons#john mactavish#johnny soap mactavish
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DC can shoot blockbuster movies, but only WFA is genius enough to introduce PTA mom! Bruce who's extremely competitive.
I need Battinson, youngest parent there by far, to roll in, smudged make up, bruises, a busted red lip.
No one thinks to link those marks to Batman. They're OBVIOUSLY evidence of a long night of fooling around in the club instead of caring for his young ward
Margie thinks that's funny, seeing as this guy obviously doesn't get out much. She tried putting him through the trial of Intimidating Mom Show Off and he just said, " I'm going to cry in the bathroom. Excuse me."
I'm sorry, but Bruce being openly affectionate with Dick, Jason, Damian, Cass, and Tim, -- kisses on the cheek, hugs that last until the teacher breaks them off, - would have the fathers cringing.
" Haha, I don't do that with my kids. I'm actually here because my wife bitched at me."
Bruce, straight up, " Don't you like your children?"
" Excuse me?!"
" Not yet. Why do you hate your kids?"
" I love my kids, I just can't wait to get away from them. Come on, you know how it's like."
" No. I love my babies. Why do you hate your babies? Why do you hate your wife. I'll pay for your divorce if you want."
Bruce gets reported VERY often to the principal and board for being inappropriate, and you know what? They refuse to do anything. It was about time someone raised hell around here.
Duke, age 8, watching a grown man throw a tantrum because Bruce called Dick 'baby' : Bruce. I can poke him with my sword
Bruce: Not yet, Duke
Jason tries exploding every kid he doesn't like with his mind. "Trust me, you won't like the alternative. Now be gone! My papi brought me lunch." It's a lunchbox full of books.
Bruce gets along the best with the mothers. They treat him like the class hamster
#bruce wayne#dc#batman#batdad#batfam#duke thomas#jason todd#jason uses Shakespeare language send tweet#text#let harley and martinez and selina be his back up for when he cant manage to come. someone makes the mistake of muttering#' whole family's a bunch of freaks' and harley does not hesitate okay. pull that bitch in the street and beat their ass#in front of their kids. do them dirty. in front of they bloodline#text post
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I loved this movie about nami and her ex situationship reconciling and also anti capitalism
#i have one question are the episode 0 of movies just fanservice am i reding this right. also zoro looks jealous and petty#can they in like love action make zoro chastize sanji bc he is an ally and not just letting him sound jealous and petty like i enjoy both#but clarificaiton sometimes you know. like sanji stop that its dehumanizing and disrespectful also i want you#why are they worried about money when they are in a casino. nami was great at playing cards wasnt she#franky and luffy bonding sumo time.... nami gets the title hell yeah lmao i have been saying she is the strongest#omg the children sellong flowers... dont tell me luffy is going to defeat capitalism in this movie. hell yeah#i was gonna say cant believe they let luffy bet but he does have good luck tho. the stomach ache lmao#sanji is so stupid akdjsksks the guy who likes pain also....don't let sanji think too much about it omg the golden dust....#zoro is going to be executed sanji and luffy are unlucky and all of them are broke and in debt. damn. how are you broke as a pirate even#nami and carina ex situationship talking about trusting each other again looking at the sunset... exactly#that was such a nasty betrayal and nami trusting her again so easily and fast like damn.#also what is the cp0 koala and sabo doing there like damn. jesus even#also what is absalom doing there....#and WHO let luffy infiltrate. FRANKY GOT IMPALED!! gold is really malleable and not resistant and strong like this is getting me out of it#sanji got a cleaning man fit instead of a cleaning lady fit so why is usopp wearing one ajdjaka.... i mean he is the crews babygirl....#also second movie where zoro gets kidnapped. the peoples princess.#omg they are in the pipes. also why is there pipe for the entry of seawater in a boat. maybe i don't know enough about boats#franky getting luffy out of the fan.... cradled like baby jesus for an instant#omg they have been bamboozled BY CARINA?????? OMG AGAIN??? NAMI!!!! OH NVM!!! WHAT???#luffy didnt know they were doing all this cause he would have fucked it up akshaua him being thrown half dead out of the tower ahsuakaia#this reminds me of super mario wii where bowser turns into a bigger bowser when you kill it. damn#also another good guy turned villain because of tragedy. two in a row#the kid with the metal pipe omg... sabo is coming#i heard hikken and the voice was so similar i wondered why ace was there.... for a millisecond he was there..... 😞#the red hawk and everything..... should we all kill ourselves.... omg carina didnt betray her actually#tesoro dumb asf for taking nami look how he is going down after that lmao didnt expect gear fourth tho. damn#still thinking about how gold isnt that strong so this shouldn't be necessary but alas shonen be shonen. luffy saving namis gf too <3#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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