#i didn’t watch it until a bit into 6th grade
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holy shit (<- regained memory from first time hearing newsies)
#it was like summer before 6th grade#and i would NOT shut the fuck up about hamilton#n my older cousin was like ‘hey i rly like newsies we should listen to that’#we were driving back to my house after i stayed over for the weekend#n we only got to carrying the banner#i didn’t watch it until a bit into 6th grade#cuz one of my best friends (first friend i ever made in public school)#wuz like ‘i can’t listen to hamilton cuz it has too much cursing but i’m allowed to watch disney and i really like newsies’#so i watched the 92 movie#n then later listened to the show#and then i joined the tumblr fandom and have trauma i didn’t know could exist now#*regains the memory and feels the exact way remembering how watching eddsworld for the first time around the same time felt*#rzr speaks
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Love me or hate me, both are in my favor (Miguel O’Hara x Fem! Reader [HS Academic rivals AU])
Hiii! Ya girl is sick 🙃 but it’s okay! I wanted this chapter to be longer but I felt like it was taking too long to put out so I’m gonna just make the next one longer. Hope you enjoy! Not proofread.
(L/Y)- Last name.
Um, Shakespeare? Miguel and reader squabbling, cursing, nothing really tbh.
Word count: 1.3k
Series Masterlist Series playlist
Chapter 5: And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
—
You felt a little delusional, having found yourself growing fond of the masked hero. But how could you not? He was so kind, offering to drop you off back to your room, he was probably just doing his job as the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, seeing you struggling to make your way across the campus while he was probably watching the streets, and saw you needed some help. But you’re just a girl, who were you to not allow yourself to be a bit delulu and pretend that the spider was in love with you?
Shaking your head, getting rid of the lingering thoughts of your favorite insect, your giddiness started to turn to annoyance when your mind shifted to your lovely (derogatory) English partner. What a jerk, leaving a poor injured girl on campus like that. Without even realizing it you start to compare the two in your head, despite not having interacted with the wall-crawling hero for more than an hour if you added both interactions together time-wise. It’s a bit of a silly comparison the more you sit on it, what would a loser like Miguel have in common with Spider-Man?
You drop the thoughts as you placed your headphones on and begin to listen to music, pulling out your math homework.
—
Miguel pulled his navy blazer all the way on, making sure the buttons on his white button up were down properly after having missed a button the first time. Half-hazardly making sure he didn’t trip over his untied shoelaces as he turned a corner and almost crashed with another student wandering the halls. Shouting a rushed apology as he adjusted his book bag over his shoulder again,having to make sure it didn’t fall as he went from corridor to corridor.
He didn’t have to be a genius to know that he was gonna get a ear full for abandoning you in the library, he'd be surprised if you even opened the door for him when he shows up to your room unannounced. Praying that him helping you back to it while in his spider persona will help earn him some brownie points if it’s it’s as Spider-Man and not… Miguel. You wouldn’t know the difference, sure but it was most just so he didn’t feel as guilty.
The fact he felt guilt towards you in anyway at all was a bit too much for him to fully process, Miguel wasn’t the type to sympathize with others despite his super alter-ego, so finding himself go out of his way for the girl that has made his academic career a living hell since the 6th grade was… a lot to say the least. Dwelling on it for more than a few seconds was enough to make his temples begin to pulse with tension. So he’ll push it down into the caverns of his mind where he’ll abandon the thoughts until they vanish completely, although that task was difficult to do when he was forced into such close proximity to you due to this stupid, and in his opinion unnecessary assignment. But… no point in tanking either of your grade point averages because of his stubborn pride.
He hadn’t even realized he had arrive in front of your door because of all of his thoughts running rampant, deciding to wait for a second before knocking, telling himself that it’s so he doesn’t look completely out of breath, swinging from downtown to your dorm, then back to his just to ran back to yours, and not to help him prolong the upcoming conversation with you.
He knocked after finally recomposing him, shuffling his weight on his feet as he waited, a tick he’s picked up from his brother. There was no answer, so he knocked again, a bit louder now. He knew you weren’t asleep already, it was too early for you to be asleep. He subconsciously released a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he heard the faint muffled sound of sheets shuffling, before footsteps then being met face-to-face with you. It was obvious it took you a second to register his presence, your small smiling face slowly forming into your usual scowl when you were around him.
“Hey-wait-wait!.” His foot darted out to keep you from fully closing the door in his face, not even so much as flinching when you brought your small one out in an attempt to kick his away with your fluffy bunny slippers. “I know, I know- I should have told you- I couldn’t make it!-“ Despite your smaller stature, you were putting one hell of a fight against his feet, he wouldn’t be surprised if you end up injuring your good foot by the end of this.
“Like hell you should have!” You foot finally came to a halt only for your balled fist to hit his shoulder, he gave no reaction since it didn’t hurt at all, but his jaw did tense a bit, stopping himself from straight up picking you up again like he did last time he came to your dorm unannounced, not wanting to piss you off more. “Your lucky Spiderman spotted me and helped me back to my room, or else I’d be more pissed off from having to do all that walk.”
“Spider-Man huh?” Miguel’s eyebrows shot up as he attempted to act surprised, taking his foot away from It’s makeshift post as a door stopper. “Isn’t he supposed to be stopping crime, not picking up random girls at night time?” The comment slipped from his lips subconsciously, a self criticism, but you for some reason had taken the comment as a personal jab, him noting the lines scattered between your eyebrows deepening as he quickly brought his hand to keep the door from closing again.
“Is there a reason you’re here ooor…” God why did you always have to be so bratty, one of these days he was gonna shut up that pretty fucking mouth of yours. It took all his composure to not turn around and stomp back to his own room, he'd rather deal with Gabriel’s loud-ass gaming sessions with his friends than another sarcastic quip of yours.
“I’m here so we can work on the stupid project.” He groaned with an eyeroll, “so can you just let me in so we can get this over with? The sooner we start the sooner we finish.”
With a sigh you open the door.
—
“Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty: thou art not conquer'd; beauty's ensign yet Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, and death's pale flag is not advanced there- I’m sorry, I can’t, I feel like my soul is dying, I’d rather blow my brains out then have to continue to read the rest of this mind-numbing monologue.” Miguel groaned as he tossed his copy of the scene on your coffee table, before crossing his arms over his chest. You let out an exasperated sigh as you allow yourself to fall backwards on your bed that you were both sitting on, the smiths playing quietly in the background from your vinyl record player.
“It’s been 5 minutes O’Hara.”
“And I refuse to read another 5 minutes more.” With a groan you begin to slowly pick yourself back up into a sitting position as he continues to rant. “This whole thing is stupid,” he motioned to the pages he now had scattered on your table, “he barely knew the girl, and he’s gonna just… end it all for her, completely insane.” He shook his head, the bed dipping underneath him as leaned back, resting on his forearms.
“Okay, I admit it is a bit…asinine…but-“ You murmured, before being cut off.
“But?” Miguel shot back up, looking at you as if you had grown a second head.
“Buuut, they were young and in love. Only a few years younger than us, love makes you do foolish things,” You attempt to reason with a shrug, only to be met with a scoff and an eye roll. The dismissive action from the male made you scowl a bit, not like how quickly he can write off the concept, “but you wouldn’t know anything like that, your heart’s made of ice, O’Hara.”
“And yours of glass, (L/N).”
—
Taglist: @famouscattale @oharasfilipinawife @mxltifxnd0m @loser-alert @homewreckingwreck @dumb-gemini12 @cowboylikeevie @thedevax @codenameredkrystalmatrix
#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o hara fanfic#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099 x reader#astv miguel#astv spiderman 2099#miguel o’hara au#miguel spiderverse#love me or hate me fanfic#academic rivals au#atsv miguel#miguel x reader
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MEETING JACK FOR THE FIRST TIME ? -
the first time you ever met Jack was in 8th grade while you’re like in 6th grade , you were friends with Luke since 5th grade but never really met any of this brothers till middle school.
you didn’t immediately develop a crush on him for a little while till you started to see yourself looking at him more especially in the hall ways 💀
you were always the quiet type not talkative , non social butterfly type what Luke would call you , never participated in anything in school, just barely even had friends at school, you just knew people .
so when you randomly had class with mix with kids from 6,7,8th grade you weren’t expecting Jack in there , you definitely sat all the way in the back .
Jack definitely noticed you for some reason cause you barely spoke to anyone in the class so he took his chance to talk to you when the teacher assigned partners
you definitely felt a little of anxiety because you’re used to working by yourself in projects and now Jack partnered up with you was just a no go with your little crush . you just awkwardly gave him a smile when he walked over to your chair .
“Need a partner ?” He asked you showing you his signature smile , avoiding his eyes removing your backpack from the empty seat next to you .
he intimated you a little bit , you’re sitting next to mf Luke’s brother , but you didn’t care because you’re waiting to escape the second the bell rang .
“aren’t you one of my brothers friends I seen you guys talk at the car park quite often ?” He looked at you from the assignment .
you gave small talk replying fast to his questions not wanting to look at his deep ocean eyes .
few months later , you have a assembled class to go and do your state tests when you notice Jack was in there as well with Alex , Trevor . you started to learn more about them after a while due to Luke random texts about them being annoying over hockey .
absolutely sitting in your assigned seat at the computers , you were ready to go back to your class after this not wanting to do any tests jack sitting across the room , both of your backs facing each. Mid test you guys get a stretch break .
Trevor came up to you to ask a question with Alex and Jack behind him “do you think Jack is cute ?” He smiled at you looking at jack looking at you shyly. You shrug your shoulder not saying really no neither yes , watching Jack blush you walk away to your seat . .
your relationship was awkward little bit in the beginning as he was starting high school
obviously you barely spoke to him even though you guys even tough you were friends you didn’t take him seriously till you noticed he would’ve talked any other girls as he walked past you at the places not noticing you .
you always thought he was a good kid until he started to seem to get a bigger ego now that he’s in high school, rude kinda fuckboy .
so you just randomly stopped speaking to him because you were not good at confronting people.
2 years later , you’re finally a freshman , you never spoke to Jack ever since 7th grade , you definitely grown up with your puberty hitting more during summer . Your breast definitely stole the spotlight as well your butt and curved . You knew to hide it from the eyes of vultures like the seniors .
Jack started to notice you in the hallways again more often as this year you really tried to make friends at school. trying not to make yourself too seen though . He was although busier now due to him playing hockey more and more often .
you noticed you and Luke always had classes together . You always avoided him , going back to your natural habit hiding back of the class , you notice one of class had both of the Hughes in there . They were talking as you sped walk to the back before they noticed you , gladly they didn’t till the teacher called you . “yn/yl !!” they both whipped their head looking at the back of the classroom spotting you . making a small smile you kept your eyes on the teacher embrassed .
Ever since that day , you always avoided them till one day when Luke decided to confront you ….. “ why don’t you talk to me anymore what’s with the weird behavior.” he looked down at you with a questioning look . you didn’t even wanna answer him but somehow you had an answer . “ maybe because I like being alone did you think that Luke? And probably I don’t barely know you outside of school. ” you just smiled back packing your stuff as it was lunch time . You see Jack looking at your across the room after looking at Luke’s reaction to your comment. “Well I wanted to invite to our party tonight come over .”
you debated to even go tonight, you looked through Luke’s Snapchat seeing how much fun the party looked, seems everyone from school was there . No surprise they’re the Hughes . you decide to go for a little bit not wanting to stay long you arrive at the house , knocking at the door . Jack was the one who opened the door , seriously wanting to turn your back and run off you didn’t “look what the cat dragged in.” he said smirking at you . You just smile slowing making your into the house . Not knowing where to go you look around standing in one spot . “Everyone is in the back outside.” as if Jack read your mind thanking him before you started walking , you felt a hand grabbed at you looking at Jack , “why did you stop speaking to me I thought you liked me ?” not knowing what to say you just blankly stared at him . He moves closer to you , there were many girls who wanted him , he’s in his fuckboy era is what was throughout your mind as he kept inching towards you . backing away from him you hitting a wall “oh great I’m fucked.” You thought to yourself you decided to give him a response in attempt from him blocking all your exits to escape . “Did I ever say I liked you because I never said that .” he looked taken aback from that response, looking at you he ended up kissing you with no warnings .
Ever since the kiss you haven’t spoken to anyone especially Luke or even looked at Jack in the hallway .
You were home doing nothing but just relaxing for once . No school work , no parents home , just you home alone again . you got a snap from Jack , not wanting to opening it , but being bored you opened it .
“ hey wyd ?” You were baffled what else would were you expecting from him . You just replied “nothing just home .” You kept texting him all night .
Night time falls , you both decided to mess around , a secret rendezvous . After school always messing with him but at school avoiding each other .
One day all he just stop texting you , not even wanting to ask him you just never texted him , you moved on accepting whatever happened was a mistake.
you were scared 16 years old , not knowing whether it was a game or he’d reveal your conversation and nudes to Luke . You were scared of him for that .
you noticed he had a new girl named Chelsea now , so I just was a game anyways I accepted that . Just glad he wasn’t the one taking my V card yet .
2019 came along , so did summer . You noticed Jack and Luke absent a lot at the ending even though you were told by Luke about Jack’s being NHL first pick for the draft , you were shocked he even made it that far big congrats ?
Chelsea was of course awkwardly looking at you , it’s like she knew something but you never cared as you pushed everyone away it was summer you were glad to leave .
You were watching the NHL draft , when Jack’s name was called, you intently watched at the screen thinks wow he looks good in a suit as he was taking off his jacket for the jersey . “I could’ve had all that .” You hit yourself knowing it’s just your hormones wanting him .
Ever since the draft you haven’t seen Luke or Jack till you enters Umich .
part 2 ? Or no
authors note : basically what happened was . *runs away *
#jack hughes#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes nhl#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes game#jack hughes imagine#nj devils#jack hughes insta edit#jack hughes wife
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hi, can i please request hinata acting all flustered and lovestruck around reader, who's confused because he's not acting like himself? thank you!
𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡… 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲.
𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡… hinata’s “symptoms” all point to one thing—unfortunately, you’re the only one who doesn’t get it.
𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠… shoyo hinata x gn!reader
𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠… fluff!!!
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬… reader as dense is as my 6th grade density project
𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐭… ahhhh technically my first request without an event!! tysm anon for the ask and your patience!!! i know i've been dead for a while shh
“LOOK HOW RED HE IS-!” tanaka’s laugh soon bellowed throughout the gymnasium, soon followed by a chorus of chuckles and nishinoya’s own echoing guffaw.
“i didn’t think anything could match HINATA’s hair until now!”
“i thought his hair was orange…?”
the two second years simply ignored asahi’s honest observation, continuing to make fun of their underclassman’s flustered expression.
“you sure he’s not just sick? we know how he gets with matches, and we do have a game tomorrow…” yamaguchi popped into the conversation.
“wouldn’t he turn green then?” tsukishima unhelpfully added, causing the both of them to snicker in a way that was very much so against hinata's wishes.
“oi! get your head in the game, idiot!”
“for once, volleyball-for-brains is right,” sugawara called out, grabbing everybody’s attention even with kageyama just insulting their no. 10. “let’s get back to work!”
“i didn’t think you’d be the voice of reason here,” daichi commented.
“hey! i’m vice captain for a reason!!”
it was a matter of time until his teammates started to back off, paying no mind to hinata's face—even though the red blush coating his cheeks stubbornly refused to go away.
karasuno's acclaimed boy's volleyball club recently garnered a few curious students watching from the balcony in their gym.
usually, the small gathering of people was something the middle blocker would look forward to. some people watching to boost his ego a little bit was always welcome (though it admittedly made him want to double over.)
nevertheless, this was definitely different.
the team received a new guest with a familiar group who always stopped by to watch. everybody would've acted normally, paying no mind with the occasional teasing here and there, if it weren't for the fact that hinata didn't seem so smitten.
“what’s with their no. 10?” you didn’t mean to sound rude, pointing at him and all that from your spot on the balcony, but you couldn’t help be genuinely curious. it was save to say that his reputation tended to precede him, despite being a first year. it wasn’t everyday when you see a squirt like him soar higher above the rest—though you supposed that this day wasn’t one of them.
from the moment you entered to most likely not anytime soon, the tangerine-haired boy was quite clumsy, for lack of better words. when he was the one nearing the ball, it somehow always gets disastrously out of bounds or wound up in the net. every time, you look to your friends beside you to gauge their reaction, which always appeared as a mix of "you can't be serious," and "it's always like this."
“oh, [name],” one of them laughed, attempting to cover their mouth with their hand to conceal their smile. it didn't exactly help you with uncovering this mystery.
everybody was hyping karasuno's no. 10 up so much, but you really don't see anything that lived up to that—at least not right now.
you darted your eyes between him and your friends. he was kind of cute... but what else is there to see?
you weren't complete strangers with the orange-haired boy, though you weren't exactly acquainted with each other either. there was only so much you can gather from seeing him in the halls every now and then. even so, there was still something off about his current performance.
"you sure you're not sick or something, punk?" kageyama asked after hinata missed his 3rd hit in a row, the latter suddenly receiving a chill up his spine. "'cause, oh i don't know, you should probably be at home instead of practice if you're just gonna suck even more than you do now!"
"i told you a bajillion of times already, i'm! not! sick!!"
"alright, we got it," daichi interjected, crossing his arms as he was walking towards the two. "still, it doesn't explain why you're... considerably underperforming today."
"hey!" the three of them were quick to jerk their head to the source of the sudden voice, finding you up in the balcony in a matter of seconds. hinata felt his spine shiver before opening his eyes.
and ‘lo and behold, his worst fear.
“no. 10!” ignoring your friends clamoring, probably saying ‘hey, maybe don’t call people out?’ you disregarded them. that kind of seemed like a pattern for you. "where the hell is that super fast attack everybody's talking about??"
"i think it's called a 'quick-'"
"same thing!"
"yeah, hinata," kageyama's voice gradually got darker with each syllable. "where the hell is it."
peculiar how he can make the simplest of questions sound like a demand.
"alright, alright! i swear—this time i'll get it-!"
hinata hoped that it was true—for your sake and his.
𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝. <𝟑
#𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞.!#𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮!! 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞.!#hinata shoyo x reader#shoyo hinata x y/n#shoyo hinata#hinata x reader#haikyuu!#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#shoyo hinata x reader#hinata shoyo#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu x y/n
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i love love LOVE headcanons so I’m gonna share some of mine (specifically for my modern au lol)
Todd’s favorite movie is fantastic mr. fox <3
Charlie is the number one Britney Spears fan in the great state of Vermont
Knox is the only one of the group with a license and a car (Todd is scared of driving, Neil’s parents won’t let him get his license until he’s 18, charlie should never be allowed to operate any vehicle ever, Pitts has failed his exam twice now, meeks is blind, and Cameron’s saving up to buy a car) also yes the car was a gift from his dad
Ginny takes French and sprinkles it into her sentences all the time to impress her friends (mostly Chris)
Neil did track and field for the first two years of high school but his dad made him drop it to focus on his grades and soccer </3
Charlie introduced neil to Britney Spears and has converted him into a pop girlie
Neil has a Walkman and loves collecting tapes and putting mixtapes together :)
Meeks is president of the physics club
Knox’s parents are divorced and he lives with his dad
Favorite seasons:
Spring: Pitts, Cameron, Knox
Summer: Charlie, Meeks
Autumn: Neil
Winter: Todd
(The favorite seasons are so controversial between me and my friend because they insist that Todd’s favorite season would be fall because of what happened in winter but I raise you: if that didn’t happen (and before it happened) Todd’s favorite season would be winter because he likes spending time inside bundled up by the fire reading and hanging out with his buddies)
Charlie is a Reese Witherspoon stan
Cameron loves Kelly Clarkson and Katy Perry
Charlie has known he’s bisexual since 6th grade and since then has been unashamedly open about it <3
Mr. Keating is married to his wife and he loves her very much (also he is my bisexual king)
Pitts is ambidextrous because he got bored one summer and taught himself to write with his non dominant hand
Oh also here are their soccer positions:
Goalkeeper: Charlie (of course)
Defenders: Neil (sweeper), Pitts (center back, left back)
Midfielders: Knox (right mid)
Strikers: Todd, Cameron
And then meeks team manager :)
All the boys except Todd have been close friends since freshman year. Neil and Charlie have known each other the longest since they were neighbors growing up and have been besties ever since
Cameron became part of the group by accident when meeks invited the whole 7th grade home room class to his birthday and Cameron was the only one outside the main group to show up
Todd was one of those kids who would watch worms at recess and talk to them very kindly
I am a good big brother Jeff stan and I will never apologize for it. Jeff and Todd are besties. Todd got into soccer because of Jeff and some of his fondest memories are of them playing together when they were younger
Jeff is taking a gap year before he starts his third year of college (at like Yale or something idk he’s an economics major) and he’s been staying at home recently which has made Todd a bit happier about having to change schools so suddenly
Balincrest (Todd’s old school) was a boarding school, but in the modern au Welton is not. Todd is more upset about this than anything but at least he gets to see the family dog Lucy (who is a golden lab because the andersons are basic ass white bitches)
I have more but that’s enough for now lol
#dead poets society#dead poets headcanons#neil perry#todd anderson#charlie dalton#stephen meeks#gerard pitts#richard cameron#knox overstreet#mr keating#john keating#dps#chris noel#ginny danburry
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Clean White Love | Eddie Munson
Summary: Eddie has never had such a perfect, unbelievable, and dreamy morning as this one. And he never wants to ruin this love. GN! Reader!
Warnings: kind of self-conscious Eddie? A very fluffy fic,
Word Count: 1k
A/N: I haven't written a fic in a while, but I hope you enjoy this little late night blurb. Very much inspired by Lisa Mitchell's "Clean White Love."
PLEASE REBLOG FOR MORE EDDIE MUNSON FICS!
Woah, ah, oh, you're my clean white love
Woah, ah, oh, you're too clean white love
I give my heart on the morning of November 6th
Oh, everybody's looking for a fix, hey
Eddie always hated mornings, especially school mornings. If you knew anything about the metalhead, you knew he’d rather light a joint, make himself some toast and go back to bed and fiddle with his guitar or listen to the newest mix he’d made. He wanted nothing to do with school, none of the students, couldn’t give a shit about the staff, didn’t care about the endless piles of homework or his slumping grades. Sure, he knew he should graduate, knew his uncle and you wanted him to finish school and get out of the hell that was Hawkins, but on school mornings, Eddie cursed the world and everyone in it.
But on the weekend, it was a whole other matter. He had shit to do on the weekends, plan the next campaign, get together for another band practice, do his Saturday shift at the record store, and help Wayne with any handy work the man had planned. It wasn’t like he was jumping out of bed, but he was a lot more eager than he would be on a weekday. Except, today was different, and he knew it as soon as he woke up.
The trailer was quiet, Wayne having left already for a shift at the plant, and Eddie thought he was once again alone until he shifted, and felt something against his shoulder. His room was dark, barely any light filtering in between the broken gaps of the blinds, and Eddie rubbed at his eyes a couple of times to make sure he was seeing what was right in front of him.
Your head rested on the other half of the pillow, hair spilling over the skin of Eddie’s shoulder, and your arm was tucked against his chest, your breath coming out in soft whooshes of air against his face. He nearly couldn’t believe it, nearly pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming like the absolute loser he was, praying this wasn’t some sort of screwed-up nightmare where he finally had the person of his dreams in his bed.
But you were there, in his bed, against his sheets and tucked under his covers, body right up against his and your hand curled around his hip.
Eddie pulled the blankets up further, the chill of the autumn air breaking through the cracks in the room, and he knew that the little heater in the living room wouldn’t help one bit, and he definitely didn’t want to leave this moment just to go try and kick it to life. He snuggled back down beside you, resting his forehead against yours and watching you as you slept. It was perfect, and it was bewildering, and Eddie was so confused and trying to figure out how he’d finally gotten so lucky, and then he realised it was unfair too. So totally cruel and unfair that soon you’d wake up and this little piece of heaven would be fractured into splinters and you’d be pushing away from him and walking out of his life. He finally got the morning he wanted with the person he loved, and he knew he wouldn’t have it for long.
“You know, Munson, mornings are for relaxing, not thinking.” Your voice was soft, warm air against his face as you spoke quietly, pulling the metalhead out of his rolling thoughts, and for a moment he closed his eyes.
“I uh…didn’t think you’d still be here.” Eddie regretted the words as soon as they spilled from his mouth, but you took them in your stride, moving a hand up to brush your fingers against his cheek, watching in silent delight as he leaned into your gentle touch.
“Eddie, of course, I was going to be here. Don’t think I ever want to leave this bed, honestly. Nor do I wanna miss another morning waking up next to you.” His eyes brightened then as he realised what you were saying, realised you wanted to stay and you weren’t going to run from his arms like you’d been burned. He was kissing you then, soft and sweet and slow, an absolute perfect kiss for a perfect morning, and you couldn’t help but smile, curling your fingers into his messy mane of hair and sigh against his lips.
“Does that mean…does that mean you’ll wanna come back here again? Spend more time with me?” He asked the question so nervously, looking away and fiddling with the hem of your oversized t-shirt you’d stolen from him the night before.
“If you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you right here, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes for a second, love.” Eddie keened when you called him that as if he was putty in your hands, and you smiled so brightly it melted his heart. “You know, whisk me away and I’ll be your’s for the day, any time you want baby.”
“So if I asked you to stay right here, with me, until I had to get up for work?” Eddie’s got so much hope in his eyes, and a bright blush blooms on his cheeks when you lean into litter kisses on his lips, his jaw, his neck.
“Then I’m not going anywhere. But you better find a way to warm me up, love, because I sure am getting cold.” He’s laughing then, warm and loud against the chill of the room, and he’s got you in his arms, holding you tighter and praying (even though he’s a man without a god) that you’d never want to leave.
This love was perfect, in an imperfect way. He never would have expected it, never thought he’d ever deserve a love like this, so pure and kind and clean, but he got what he always wanted. And if he could always have mornings like this, wrapped up in soft blankets with light filtering over your perfect face, he’d die a happy man, content in your embrace.
No one was going to take this perfect love away from him, this perfect clean love that was all for him.
PLEASE REBLOG FOR MORE EDDIE MUNSON FICS!
Tagged: @reidsbookclub @sadgirlml @gay-prentiss @prettyboyeddiemunson @writingquillsandpainpills @thelaststraw3 @gold-onthe-inside @kaqua @heidilc28 @desertmoths @kpopchangedmylifesstuff @liltimmyst @dixontardis
#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fluff#stranger things#eddie munson#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x gender-neutral reader#will writes st!#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson first morning trope
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Waiting for a Girl Like You / Part 2
Warnings: Language, fighting (physical and verbal), smoking (cigarettes)
You have been sneaking around with Eddie for a few weeks now. Sometimes he spends the night at your dorm and you cuddle in the small twin bed, and while a bit uncomfortable, you love being so close to him.
You made a deal with your RA that you would let her copy your homework in any class she has with you until graduation.
Your roommate, Sylvia, doesn’t mind having Eddie around. She actually adores Eddie, which is awesome because you all can hangout together. Sylvia has a girlfriend, Kat, over so much that you basically have two roommates and Eddie is now here a lot so it’s a full house, but it’s really fun.
One time Sylvia and Kat kissed each other goodbye and Eddie, who apparently didn’t realize they were dating, was taken aback
“Are they French?” He whispers to you when Kat leaves and Sylvia goes to take a shower
“No, Kat’s a lesbian and Sylvia is bisexual” you say mindlessly as you read an article about Bebe Buell and Jimmy Page’s romance in Rolling Stone magazine, wincing at the fight between Bebe Buell and Lori Maddox.
“Ugh, men are pigs” you mutter to yourself in disgust
“Am I not allowed to ask?” Eddie asks defensively, laughing and tapping his pencil to his head as he smokes, sticking head head out an open window.
He’s made a lot of friends as he smokes while popping his head out of your dorm window. College kids love Eddie, they actually get to know him when they pass by instead of going off the bullshit rumors and comments the mean popular kids have been making since the 6th grade about “the 8th grade psycho who ate a live hamster once”.
“No babe, you are allowed to ask. I’m talking about Jimmy Page”
“Oh the shark?”
“Shark? What shark?” You asks
“The…never mind break times over. Let’s continue with…” Eddie puts out his cigarette on the ash tray on the windowsill, picks up one of his school books and flinches at the title “Anatomy. How fitting”
“Eddie? What shark?” You persist
~
Eddie passes his midterm exams and is now making B’s in all his classes except for Mrs. O’Donnell’s class. He’s making a C in her class because she keeps kicking him out of her classroom “for being a disturbance” for wiggling his pencil or fiddling with his hair or coming to class with his nails painted. She really despises him for unknown reasons but you and Eddie think it’s because her husband lost a lot of money in a bet with Eddie’s dad.
Christmas break is coming up and you’re weary about introducing him to your mom and Dustin. You’re mom is such a sweet and delicate woman, seeing Eddie would give her a crisis. She watches the news too much and Eddie fits the description of the “hooligans causing chaos in Hawkins with their loud music and inappropriate clothing”. Other than being brainwashed like every other person in Hawkins, she means well.
And Dustin. Dustin is a weirdo so he might get along with him. But he’s such a twerp.
“Come on! Your mom will love me! I’m not a bad guy, and I can prove that to her!”
“I know you’re not a bad guy. I think you’re gonna make a great impression… if you just clean up a bit”
“I’ll put on my finest pair of ripped jeans and meet you at your place”
“Eddie” you say unamused “I don’t wanna change you, but can you wear jeans that aren’t ripped? And maybe a nice button up shirt. That black one looks really sexy on you”
You grab a hold of his shirt and pull him close to you. He tumbles you onto the bed behind you and you make out until Sylvia and Kat walk in and interrupt.
The next morning during their lunch period, the boys are staring at Eddie who looks dazed
“He’s officially whipped” Gareth says waving his hand in front of his face
“Hey, did your imaginary girlfriend give it to you good last night” Jeff asks
“Yes and she’s not imaginary. Y/N is real”
“Whatever you say, man. I’ll believe it when I see her” Jeff says as Dustin and Mike sit down
“I’m meeting her mom tonight” Eddie says raising his eyebrows
Dustin growls and adds “I hope she’s a cougar”
Everybody stares at Dustin awkwardly
“What? I’m just trying to join in on the fun goddamn it!” He yells
~
The next week you’re getting ready for Eddie to come over. Your heart is racing and you don’t understand why. You like Eddie a lot and know he is going to make a great impression.
Your mom is doing last minute touchups to the food and Dustin is helping her set the table.
You’re putting on black kitten heals to match your dark green off-the-shoulder velvet dress when the doorbell rings. Your heart jumps in your throat. You get up to look in the mirror to check your make up and hair before going into the living room.
“Dusty! The door!” Your mom yells
Dustin groans and goes to answer it.
It’s Eddie. And he has two bouquets of roses, one red and one pink.
“Eddie?” Dustin laughs looking at the flowers “Are you doing some kind of charity?”
“What? I—“ Eddie steps back to look at the house. He has only been over one time and sped away very quickly when he left that morning.
“Hi! You must be Eddie!” Your mom says behind Dustin
“Yes… is there a Y/N… Henderson… here? Am I at the right house?”
Your last name being Henderson finally clicked in Eddie’s brain. It was a common last name, he knew a David Henderson who was one of the nice drunks from The Hideout and he isn’t related to Dustin. In only a split second he knew that you and Dustin we related but he had to make sure.
“Yes! She’s still getting ready” she says with a bright smile “Are those flowers for her?”
“Uh… yeah. These are for you” Eddie says handing her the pink roses, looking over at Dustin who is bewildered and in some kind of catatonic state.
“Eddie!” You say and push Dustin aside. You take his hand and pull him into the house “Wipe your feet”
He wipes his feet, mouth still slightly open
“Are you okay? You look pale?” Your mom asks Eddie
“Yeah” he says quickly, shaking his head to snap back to reality “I’m just… ”
“What?” She says raising one eyebrow
“What?” Eddie awkwardly says back “I’m just alright”
“Eddie. This is my mom, Claudia. And this is Dustin, my brother”
“You have a brother?” He mumbles “You never said Dustin— you never said you had a brother?”
“Yeah. He’s a dork so I don’t like to trash my image by admitting that I’m related to him” you joke
But Eddie just stays still, frozen. Dustin isn’t moving either
“That was… a joke, Eddie” you say nudging his rib cage “I don’t actually hate my brother”
Eddie then laughs awkwardly and loudly, slapping his hands together and causing your mom to jump a little
“Okay, I’m just gonna be upfront. You don’t need to be so weird. It’s just me, my mom and Dustin”
“Yep. Just you and your mom and… Dustin” Eddie repeats
Eddie cannot stop thinking about all the things he has said about you to his friends, including Dustin. He wishes he just kept his mouth shut and shown some respect, but of course like any other man he had to brag about his new love interest to his friends who are still convinced that you’re imaginary. In this very moment, even though Dustin wants Eddie to be happy, he wishes you were imaginary.
You sense tension in the room as you all sit down and begin to fill up your plates. Dustin is being a brat and rolling his eyes at you when you or Eddie ask him to pass certain dishes. Eddie, on the other hand, looks constipated
Once you are all settled your mom breaks the ice
“So, Eddie. Where do you go to school?”
“I go to… Hawkins. High school”
“High school? How old are you?” Dustin says overly intrigued as he plays along
“20” Eddie says softly, glaring at Dustin
“Oh, no need to be ashamed sweetie!” Your mom says waving her napkin at him “High school is a rough place”
“Eddie’s really smart, mom. He explained astrophysics theories to me when we first met” you smile
“Speaking of, when did you first meet?” Your mom asks
Dustin begins choking on a bread roll
“Dusty!” Your mom says and pats his back
You roll your eyes at him for causing an inconvience
“Sorry… dry” he says lifting the bread roll up.
You let out a soft grunt
“Oh, I’m sorry. Is my near death experience ruining your boyfriend presentation?” He says motioning to Eddie
“Dustin. Be nice” your mom says
“Eddie and I met at a party” you say, ignoring Dustin “Nothing too special”
“See. Nothing special” Dustin says directly to Eddie “So don’t get your hopes up”
“For fucks sake, what the hell is going on!” You say slamming your silverware down
“Y/N!” Your mom yells
“Sorry! For fucks sake, what the heck is going on? Do you guys know each other?”
“No!” Eddie and Dustin both say
“Eddie, you’re acting really uncool right now. What’s going on?”
“I’m just… nervous” he says with such an attitude that he might as well have said leave me alone, woman!
You let out a small huff and stand up, picking up your napkin from your lap and throwing it at Dustin.
“You’re such an asshole!”
“What did I do!?” Dustin yells
You storm off to your room, lock the door, plop into bed face down and scream into your pillow. Why is this night going worse than you thought it could?
“You’re a pig! A pig person!” You hear Dustin yell “You’ve been talking about my sister this whole time!”
“I didn’t know she was your sister!”
“Is this the Eddie boy you’ve mentioned before?” Your mom asks Dustin “I thought he was your age?”
You lift your head up and listen to the argument
“That’s him! That’s my good ol’ friend Eddie who is boinking my sister!” Dustin answers and then turns to Eddie “Her last name is Henderson!”
“You don’t own the name!” Eddie retorts
“I told you when we first became friends that I have a sister that goes to college here and her name is Y/N! How do you not piece it together? See! This is why you’re failing school!”
“I’m not failing anymore thanks to your sister!”
Then you hear plates rattle and your mom’s scream
“Stop it!” You mom yells shrieks “Dustin!”
You run to the door, unlock it and step out to see Dustin on top of Eddie, arms flailing and landing wherever the please.
You sprint and grab Dustin in a chokehold. He falls backwards and onto you, knocking you on your back. You roll Dustin off of you and he quickly gets on he’s knees. You slap him in the side of the head and he slaps you back, making contact with you ear and you scream and stand up to push him over. He grabs your arms and you fall together and you pull his hair in retaliation as he yanks on yours. Just your normal sibling disagreement.
Eddie yanks you off of him and your mom gets in between the two of you
“This is not how families are supposed to act on Christmas for fucks sake!” She cries
You and Dustin gaze at each other like wrestlers in a WWF match and Eddie holds your arms to keep you from attacking him again.
“Eddie, I’m so sorry!” Your mom says
“It’s fine, Ms. Henderson. I’m used to holidays being like this. I kinda missed the chaos these last few years”
Your mom lets out a little laugh at Eddie’s dark joke.
“She actually is helping me study, that wasn’t code for anything” Eddie says to Dustin
“You! Go to your room!” Your mom says to Dustin, who’s on his feet now
“Gladly!” He yells and stomps away towards the hall
You break away from Eddie, put on your one kitten heel that fell off and step out into the snowy weather
Eddie goes to follow you but your mom pats his shoulder
“I got it, sweetie”
Your mom goes out the door and sees you sitting in the porch
“Oh, you didn’t go far” she says
You point at your heels.
“It’s freezing and you’re wearing a dress, come inside”
“No” you say pulling out a cigarette from your waistband. The little carton was a bit crushed but the few cigarettes left were still in one piece.
Your mom grabs the cigarette from your mouth after you only took one puff, holds it to her lips, inhales and then throws it into the snow. She can be quite the hard-ass when she needs to be.
“So…” she begins, smoke and cold air leaving her lips “Eddie and Dustin know each other”
“Seems like it”
“Why does that have you so upset?”
“Mom, my little brother just tried to beat the shit out of my boyfriend” you say “that’s obviously why I’m not jumping for joy”
“If it makes you feel better, Eddie just took it. He didn’t hit your brother even though he could have. Dustin is… he’s fragile, you know”
“We all know that. And no that doesn’t make me feel better, Dustin was being a brat and he deserved to get his ass beat in there”
“Well it makes me feel better. It shows that Eddie is a good man at heart”
“He really is, mom. I really really really really like him”
“If you have to add that many ‘really’s’ just say you love him”
You blush. Your mom puts her arm around your and squeezes your shoulder
“I’m sorry Christmas was ruined” you say
“Don’t be! It’s only 6 o’clock. Hopefully Dustin will cool off and we can communicate like a reasonable family”
“Reasonable family” you snicker “What an oxymoron”
You both laugh and you go to grab another cigarette
“No no no no” your mom says sweetly and takes them away
While you and your mom were chatting outside Eddie was knocking on Dustin’s door
“Hey, man. Can we talk? Man to man?” Eddie says
“Go away, you perv!” Dustin yells
“Henderson! Please!”
“My sister?!” Dustin shrieks
“Dustin…” Eddie says taking a deep breath and closing his eyes “I love her”
Silence echoes through the entire house. Eddie turns to his side leans on the door
“I know I haven’t known her for that long, but I know I love her. No one has ever made me feel this way before” he smiles “I’ve been listening to Foreigner and REO Speedwagon since I’ve met her. Goddamn REO Speedwagon!”
Again, silence.
Eddie opens his mouth to speak but Dustin opens his door and Eddie nearly falls on him.
They look at each other for a moment, Dustin looks like confused and disgusted, Eddie looks innocent and is trying to smile.
“Reo Speedwagon? It’s really serious isn’t it?” Dustin finally says
“Yes. I love her. And I’m here to tell you that I’m not going anywhere, so you just have to grow up and deal with it”
Dustin stares at Eddie for a few more seconds
“Look, I’m sorry about all those things I said about her. I wish I could take them back. I’ll never ever talk about Y/N like that again” Eddie says
Dustin still says nothing
“Are you just gonna stare at me all night?”
“Eddie…” Dustin closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath “It’s not just that you said some foul shit about my sister, I’m trying to forget that every happened. But it’s also because if something happened and you guys broke up… one, I’d kill you for hurting Y/N. And two, I wouldn’t want things to be weird with us because in any situation, I would choose my sister over you”
“I would never hurt her, I can promise you that”
“That’s exactly what the last guy said. They dated for a year and he was awesome. He was like a big brother to me. That is until he cheated on her and some random girl showed up to the house to tell her that he got her pregnant. The poor girl didn’t even know he had a girlfriend. Y/N was devastated. I felt like I lost my sister that day and also the friend I thought he was”
“Steve?” Eddie whispers
“What? No.” Dustin says, eyes widening “Steve?”
“Nothing. I just…” Eddie clears his head “Dustin, if Y/N can trust me then you can trust me”
“I know. I trust her judgement but please for the love of all that is good and pure don’t be an asshole. And. Wrap. It. Up”
Eddie chuckles a bit but then clears his throat when he realizes Dustin is not trying to be comical
“Yes. I promise” Eddie says looking into Dustin’s eyes
They make their way to the door as you and your mom walk in
“Oh! Hi!” Your mom says “Are we all happy now?”
“Yeah” Dustin says and pats Eddie on the shoulder
You look at Eddie and give him a small smile
“I’m sorry Dustin beat the crap out of you” you say
“It’s fine. I deserved it” Eddie says and wraps his arm around you
You smile at him and feel the urge to tell him that you love him but something was telling you this wasn’t a good time. Or someone… Dustin staring you both down wasn’t doing anything romantic for this beautiful moment
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Welp, happy 1-year anniversary to this movie! While not the best, it still exists 🤷 Honestly the best parts of it for me was seeing the Ericka and Mavis moments. I also was kinda hoping there would be a DVD out by now so I could complete the collection I have at home, but I’m sure whatever contract is needed for that is floating in limbo somewhere too. Anywho, I’ve put some of my answers to a 20-question game from the Amino App that was made for the first movie’s 10th anniversary (didn’t see that post until a couple of days ago, lol) under the cut in case you wanna know more about my thoughts on Transformania and also the rest of the franchise! :D
Thoughts on the franchise as a whole
Ah yes, Hotel Transylvania. To have sparked 4 movies, a show, shorts, some video games, and graphic novels, I’m guessing it was popular enough among folks xD For me, the movies are cute enough as they go, and entertaining with its cartoonish interpretation of classic horror icons. There are memorable moments and characters, maybe even good life lessons at times. Overall enjoyable films, and a fun watch :)
2) Favorite character
Ericka Van Helsing. She’s a bad@ss 😎
3) Favorite movie
3rd movie, hands down. A lot that had to do with how entertaining the Van Helsings were and also for giving us the Drericka ship ^_^
4) Favorite song
3rd movie had a lot of great songs, but if I had to decide my favorite it would be “Love is Not Hard to Find” from movie 4
5) Favorite video game
Don’t play video games, so N/A
6) Favorite actor/actress
Kathryn Hahn ✨
7) Thoughts on the TV series
Well, I only saw a handful of episodes from the TV series… and then stopped xD Idk, I guess it just wasn’t what I thought. Characters felt a little OOC, and just didn’t hold my interest :/ Honestly, what I would have liked would be a show taking place post HT1/HT2 since it takes place in about a 8-year time period give or take and could potentially have stories to tell with humans and monsters getting along, looking more into how they’ve each adapted at the hotel, and also just more of the characters we’re familiar with from the movies themselves
8) Favorite episode of the TV series
Like I said, haven’t been dedicated to watching the TV series, so can’t really say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
9) Favorite character from the TV series
From the episodes I did watch, I’d say Lydia was most entertaining
10) Favorite graphic novel
Motel Transylvania. I like the concept of expanding the hotel, and Johnny’s efforts in trying to make that happen xD
11) Genndy or Derrick (Director)
Probably Genndy
12) Adam or Brian (Dracula’s voice actors)
They’re both great, honestly
13) First impression of this franchise
The first movie came out when I was in like 6th grade, and I do recall classmates taking about wanting to go see it. But it didn’t really catch my interest, even when I did watch it for the first time in 2018. I felt it was too childish, and the fast movements bothered me
14) Latest impressions of this franchise
I think it’s kind of losing its steam a bit, because plot-wise 4 wasn’t the best it could be (which I guess was also part of the reason that led to the decline of the fandom…) but guess I can still appreciate what we have
15) How did you discover this franchise
My little bro got interested back in 2018 after seeing trailers for the third movie
16) Favorite zing
DRERICKA 💕
17) Favorite moment of all time
Transformania’s smoochy time scene (I mean hey, it’s pretty much the closest we got to an on-screen liplock from Drericka, plus I just can’t get enough of how clearly in love these two are with each other 😍 And how grossed out Mavis is as a result of that xD)
18) Did the finale satisfy you
Err… it was okay. Nothing more, nothing less. I do like the idea of Drac retiring and giving up the hotel to Mavis and Johnny, but the execution of the rest of the film’s plot I felt didn’t do it as much justice as it could have. I guess with all the switching around with the release date for this movie going further and further out, I was anticipating something worth the wait (also, January 14th?? The October release date I think would’ve been ideal since it’s spooky month. Even this January would’ve made more sense since it has a Friday the 13th in it)
19) Do you wish for more
At some point, yes, but maybe in 5+ years as a breather. If it does come back, I think an animated special of some kind would be cool, or a 2D show that takes place after part 4 with the brand-new hotel
20) Would you recommend this franchise
All in all, I would say yes! If you want just some silliness to pass time, with a mostly likeable ensemble of characters, then this is it :)
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A quick story about a memory I had a bit ago. This memory sparked cause I’ve been thinking a lot about my sexuality and kinda realizing I think I’m a lesbian, which is crazy when I’ve been with so many men, I know that the idea of spending my life with a man actually makes me so fucking sad and it’s heartbreaking to know how much time I wasted other people’s time and feeling I hurt bc I couldn’t figure my shit out none the less the memory….
I was in 6th grade about 10/11 and after class everyday we’d all have to wait in the cafeteria for buses I can’t remember why but I remember meeting her there for the first time, she was in 8th grade, she had long black hair and she was so emo, I can faintly imagine her, I had completely forgotten her until today, I don’t know her name but I remember her having to move in the middle of the year I think, I just know I never saw her after that and eventually I forgot about her completely. Still for a few months I would see her after or before class and talk a bit with her she was shy and a little mean I would watch how she would write her poems and how she held herself, I remember basically drooling over this girl. She was a bit older and I didn’t even think about being gay or anything (I had some experiences in the past that make it p obvious but growing up Christian had kinda beaten the idea out of me) I never really realized how much I wanted to impress her and get to know her until year after.
There was one day, the last memory I have of her really, this is all so blurry like I said I hadn’t thought of it over 10 years. So this girl let’s call her violet, she was walking to the bus and I see her, she’s kind of avoiding me.
“Violet! Wait up”
She turns around
“What?” I can tell she’s upset almost like she could cry any moment, I want to help her
“ what’s wrong?”
“You don’t wanna know” it seemed like she wanted to tell me but was angry and defensive
“That’s not true, you know I would never judge you”
“Okay fine I’ll just write it though okay?” Violet opens her notebook and starts scribbling
“Okay..” she hands me the book
“Oh I mean…. That makes sense haha”
I stare at the words “I’m a lesbian” under that is a very beautiful drawing of two girls kissing
My stomach was fluttering, I was nervous and excited, *was this a confession to me?*
I truly didn’t have an issue with queer people I had so many queer friends(how was that not a sign to me sooner)
I don’t think she realized this because she stormed off after that and I don’t remember seeing her again much after that.
It took me until well now to realize what those feelings were but still the only reason I didn’t recognize them is because in my mind and in my life I was taught that I cannot be that that I would literally go to hell for being queer that I would go to hell for supporting queer people.
I’m still unlearning in some ways but I’m definitely glad that I can feel more open and be more myself than little me could :)
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As someone who has been in and out of therapy since before they were a teen, I frequently get asked questions about my early experiences with therapy, and how I managed to stick with it for so long, even after several bad experiences. The answer is simple- I’m stubborn as hell.
My very first experience with therapy is a bit blurry. I was in 4th grade, and I was sent to the school psychologist to be assessed for ADHD. I believe I was 9. I remember being pulled out of class every day for about a week, could’ve been longer. The pulled me out of our study time, and again during recess to take this assortment of tests, and to watch me color and draw. I remember thinking it was really weird that they wanted me to do some of the tests. I can’t remember now what they were, but they were boring and sometimes very odd.
After the week of testing, I remember being told I have severe ADHD, something I had heard of before, but had no clue what it actually was. My parents declined medication, and I went on to fail 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th grade. I was able to manage summer school pretty well though, so I always managed to move on to the next grade.
My second experience with therapy was a little more uncomfortable. I was in 6th grade, and one of my friends turned me in to the school counselor for being suicidal. At this point, I didn’t even realize that people commonly wanted to die, and as a result, I didn’t think anyone could help me. I owe my life to that counselor. After a few weeks of her asking me to see her every day, I began to feel a little lighter, a little less weighed down by the constant nagging feeling of wanting to end my life. Once 6th grade was over, I moved on to 7th grade, we had a different counselor. I went to a couple sessions with him, but I never felt like we connected. It didn’t feel like he really cared. It was just a job to him.
Eighth grade is when things really started going down hill. I got messy with my self harm, and a teacher saw cuts on my arm one day. Immediately I was sent to the office, where I waited over an hour for the district’s psychiatrist to arrive.
When she did, she condescended me, she humiliated me, and she touched me without my consent. She grabbed my arm, ripped my sleeve up, and scolded me for seeking attention. I was then sent to mandatory therapy through the school, and they also told my parents about what they’d found.
Honestly, my parents kind of swept it under the rug. I was always a dramatic child, so why would this be any different. I think a part of them was also afraid to acknowledge that there was an issue. I remember being told to knock it off, I remember being told I was embarrassing because of my constant sulking, visible cuts, and dramatic mood swings. Looking back, I do wish they had addressed the issue further, but this was also the early 2000’s and the stigma around mental health was still holding strong.
I didn’t attend therapy again until 11th grade, due to the negative experiences I had during my 7th and 8th grade years.
In 11th grade, I remember it being towards the end of the year, I was stuck in an extremely abusive relationship. And my self harm was at an all time high. I remember walking through the hallway during class change, and everything was a blur. I was dissociating hard, and the only thing on my mind was getting help. I walked out of school, got in my car, and drove to the nearest inpatient center. When I arrived, I was obviously distraught, and I didn’t have an appointment. They asked me to wait in the waiting room, a large room with a conversation pit in the middle. It felt like hours went by, but it was probably only about 20 minutes. A younger woman with a bright smile called my name from the doorway.
I went back with her, as she tried to make small talk. She got my weight, and led me into a small windowless room. I don’t remember much about the session, but I remember the room was a salmon pink color, and I remember crying….a lot. I asked her if I could stay the night in the center, but she told me there was no room. She asked me if I thought I would be okay for the night, and she gave me her number if I ever needed to see her again.
I never saw her again, but I did resume therapy after that point. I was seeing this older man, who was extremely religious (if you know about my past, you know why this is a problem). After he diagnosed me with BPD, I stopped seeing him. Even though I resonated with the symptoms of BPD, I couldn’t take anything he said seriously, because there was always some element of God behind it. Three weeks after I stopped seeing him, he showed up at my job to “ask me how I had been”. So glad I dodged that bullet.
Since then, I’ve seen a handful of therapists, some great, and some awful. But I never want to go through another period of my life where I do not have that unbiased support, that ability to learn new skills to help cope with my mental illness, or without having the ability to just go in a cry over nothing, without being judged. So no matter the bad experiences, the good will always outweigh them.
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Words
It has been so very long since I have been filled with so many words.
I feel like right now i have enough words thundering around inside of my chest, down my spine, and throughout my core that I could fill an entire poetry book single-handedly.
I don’t remember the last time i was so into poetry. That version of me, i thought didn’t exist anymore. She was a small little blonde girl, that was being given encouragement by a simple 6th grade science teacher.
That girl read fanfiction until 4am. She was obsessed with monsters that didn’t exist. Except that they did. She wanted to chase fictional beings into the darkness because the thought of running to a dark forest with a creepy yet welcoming mansion felt so much more whole then the entire house that she lived in.
She went by a different name, different labels. She hadn’t seen the worst yet. She had nothing besides neglect. She watched her friends with all of these real world problems, divorce, abuse, drug problems.
She had none of those. and yet felt the emotional hit from every one of them.
That’s probably why she was so involved, so into poetry. Is because she felt everything she never lived. She knew the hurt of having things broken that she would never see even tear apart. She saw her friends and comforted herself in their pain and sadness. She took every bit of her and broke it, on purpose, because it brought her that much closer to being like them. to being better at bringing them relief.
she, was still crying at night. this little girl that shouldn’t have had any worries, was crying about suicide, and death. she had no true concept of her own life, besides the fact that she wanted it to be good, and yet every single night, without fail, she felt the most alone.
So she buried herself into words. Things she was really, really good at conceptualizing. Metaphors of pain hidden behind tree’s, behind the distant smell of incoming rain, behind the theory of fate.
She was so different from me. And yet we are still one in the same.
here i am again, becoming enthralled in poetry. In the words of depth and intelligence and wisdom uttered by other people. I see them in video form, with a fitting song in the background. I see them in bite-sized form. Small enough to easy to read, but deep enough to give my heart a nice sized stab.
I’m not sure why i’m doing it.
I read poetry about multiple things. from multiple sources.
Some of it is about heartbreak, or unrequited love. The sadness of loving, and never recieving it back. The never ending hurt of love, and being loved, and having that ripped away from you, suddenly, with no warning, and no ending.
perhaps it’s because i want to prepare for my heartbreak. my own inevitable downfall. Perhaps i am actually, prepping for failure. just incase. in the worst case scenario. it really isn’t my happy ending. Perhaps i will be left where i was a year ago. Sitting on my floor, shaking, crying so hard that i literally cannot breathe and black dots surround my entire vision. Maybe ill internally combust so hard ill finally give in to all of those thoughts id promised id never entertain.
But maybe i won’t.
Some of the poetry i come across is lighthearted. It’s full of love, and reminders, and intentions of positivity and good vibes. It’s the angel on your shoulder saying “everything will fall into place.”
That maybe for once, it’s okay to be wrong.
Maybe the love you are experiencing is finally the love you will keep. The kind that is pressed flowers in a memory book, and laughter over a cup of coffee. Maybe it’s the joke of a future turned into a solid promise.
Maybe its the fear of the future turned into a *want* of the future.
Maybe it’s the promise that they do love you. that they always will. That no matter how many times things change. You are the constant. You will never leave. And that they can, and will, always find love, and warmth, and happiness, in you.
I always want to work for the best intentions of everyone that isn’t me. I want my friends to have the happiest lives that I could possibly give them. i want them to get married and have their dream weddings. Buy their dream car, and own their own houses.
but for once. I’d like to be selfish.
for once, and only once, i’d like to work for my own intentions.
This person, this wonderful, amazing human.
i want that human.
not in an “owning somebody like an object” kind of way.
a “you’re the top of my emergency contacts” type of way.
a “you’re in my future plans” type of way.
a “meet the family” type of way.
A “kissing you because i want to and not because i have to” kinda way.
I want them to know that i’ll always be a home for them.
my arms will always be open, no matter what.
i’d like to be their home.
I want their kisses, and their promise of forever.
I want the long cuddles, and the adorable smiles. I want to be their calm, and give them patience.
I want our love to be like a poetry book. Things start fine, and then get tense. you wonder if the anxieties, the fears, if they will ever be answered, or fixed.
And then at the end its so good. Everything is so pure, and all of the different problems get solved in a full circle. Like sitting with someone else infront of a warm fire during December, where you’ve snowed in and the only thing to worry about is the fact you are slowly falling asleep in eachothers arms.
I live in a generation full of hook-up culture, and fuck buddies. And i just want a stable love. A real love. I want *my* love. I’m your support, and your my favorite past time. We will build a foundation of trust, and respect. We will encourage eachother to reach for the stars, as long as the other person gets a front-row seat. A love where communication is ingrained in the very beginning.
Maybe thats why, i’m reading all of the poetry i currently am. Maybe because the love i want, is somewhat fictional. Maybe i read through you better then i think i do. But i still want to bask in your warmth and love for a little bit longer.
I don’t know anymore. I am usually so good at reading people, and at picking them apart. I don’t even do it intentionally half of the time. But i do.
And despite you being a mirror of me, I cannot read you.
I keep trying. But i feel like everything i take is conflicting.
Perhaps thats what i get for trying to read a mirror of myself. I’m not exactly a straightforward answer myself.
I have started like 50 tangents in this entire post and i haven’t even throughly finished a singular one.
So here is how i will end this post. This rant. this.... piece of my mind.
With hope.
I am choosing to have good faith and to hope.
i hope that one day, i will be your partner. I hope one day i will fully, whole-heartedly, have your entire heart.
I hope that no matter where the future takes you, i will still be there.
i hope i will be involved with that future.
I hope i am your future.
but that’s all it is, is a hope.
but sometimes, that’s all you need.
#a broken stick of glow#glowing stick?#the death of a glowing stick#those tags are a specific reference#tw vent#poetry but not really?#what is love#if you read this. i love you.#tw falling in love#vent#tw mention of dark subjects#tw possible mention of overdose#i am reaching out for your love and i hope to all above that i get it
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Too Far
pairing: rodrick heffley x gn!reader ; greg x platonic!reader (but it's mostly a sweet family fic between rodrick and greg)
warnings: cussing, rodrick thinks greg ran away/is missing, rodrick's probably ooc, uh idk what else
word count: 1.7k (why is this the longest thing i’ve written-)
summary: (takes place during rodrick rules) y/n has been a good neighbor and friend for a while now. either of the heffley boys can go to them for anything.
a/n: im a strong believer in the fact that rodrick has a soft side and he truly cares about his little brother. he doesn't show it a lot but it's there. i love rodrick so much so i wanted to try writing for him. sorry if it's ooc but i dunno, i like it. let me know what you think :)
--
You were watching tv, no clue what just happened in the house down the street, when there was a knock on the door.
You got up, groaning. Who would be here this late?
You opened the door, somewhat annoyed, until you saw that it was... Greg?
It was Greg, the young boy from down the street, with tears in his eyes.
You immediately wrapped an arm around him, leading him inside, “Woah, kid, what’s wrong?”
As the two of you sat back down on the couch, he choked out an answer, “R-Rodrick.”
“What did he do this time? Want me to beat his ass for you?"
A small smile crossed your face when you were able to make the boy chuckle.
He explained that him and Rodrick had a great night together but things went bad once they got home. He said that their parents found the pictures from the party last week, which you had attended, and both the boys got it trouble. But that wasn't why Greg was crying. He was crying because Rodrick was disappointed in him and said some hurtful things.
You didn't push any further. Greg was a tough kid, most of the time, so whatever Rodrick said must've been really bad.
"Wait," you said after a few minutes, "Do your parents know you're here?"
"N-no. I snuck out."
"Greg, you can't do that," you said sternly. You weren't angry, just worried.
"You and Rodrick both sneak out all the time," He tried to reason.
"That's different. We're both old enough to take care of ourselves. No offense, but you're still just a kid. If your parents find out they're gonna be worried sick."
"Can I just stay for a while longer? Please? Besides if they find out I'm gone, they'll probably check here first."
It was true. Greg and Rowley would come to your house sometimes, just to have a different place to hang out. Your parents were away a lot of the time so it worked out.
You were Greg's babysitter when he was in 5th and 6th grade. Ms. Heffley knew you were a responsible kid and she didn't exactly want Rodrick in charge. Now he's in 7th and he's trusted a bit more so you didn't have to take care of him anymore. During that time was when you and Greg got close. The two of you became friends.
You had gotten pretty close with Rodrick too. Especially since you had a lot of the same classes in school. The two of you had similar interests so you would hang out sometimes.
Of course, you couldn't say no to Greg.
You two sat and watched whatever he wanted to watch. You told him that he could have whatever he wanted from the kitchen, it didn't matter. He immediately searched for ice cream, making you laugh.
Soon there was another knock on the door. This time you looked out the peep hole.
"It's Rodrick," you whispered to Greg.
"I'm not here!" He whispered back, running up the stairs.
You waited until he was all the way upstairs, before you opened the door, "Rodrick? Hey, what's up?"
He looked back at you with panicked eyes, "(Y/n), you gotta helped me."
You ushered him in, just as you had done with his younger brother not long ago, and you two sat down. "Of course, what is it?"
"Well I- me and Greg got into a fight I guess? I said some stuff I shouldn't have. I- Fuck, (Y/n), I messed up... I took it too far."
You gently put a hand on his knee, "Hey, relax. You're okay. What do you mean you took it too far?"
"I told him that... I said 'you might be my brother, but you'll never be my friend'. W-We got in trouble for something and I got mad at him. Obviously I don't mean it, i-it just kinda slipped out."
"Okay, well, we both how Greg is. I'm sure he'll understand if you just tell him and apologize. You two will be fine," you offered him a soft smile.
To your surprise, he shook his head.
"That's not what I need your help with."
"Oh," was all you could say.
"I went to check on him a while ago because he's never been in this much trouble, I wanted to make sure he was okay. Mom and Dad were already asleep. I- I went into his room and... and he was gone. (Y/n), I don't know what to do."
You pulled him into a hug, him quickly latching onto you. You gently ran your fingers through his hair. "It's okay Rodrick. I'll help you find him."
Of course, you knew where he was. But you wouldn't give away Greg's spot if he didn't want you too.
Rodrick looked up at you, "You will?"
"Of course, let me get a jacket and we'll go."
You went up the stairs and into your room, where Greg was sitting on your bed.
"Dude, he-"
"I heard all of it. I understand."
"Oh good," you said, waking to your closet to get a jacket, "So, do you forgive him?"
"Of course, he's my brother," The two of you smiled.
As you pulled on your jacket, you asked, "Well what do you wanna do? He's ready to go searching for you."
"Maybe you two can drive around for a while and come back, and i'll just be on the sidewalk around here? I don't know, I just don't him to get at you for lying." He suggested.
You thought about it, nodding.
"Okay... but be careful, alright? Stay in here for like 15 minutes, then you can go out."
You went back downstairs and grabbed your keys. Rodrick followed you out and into your car.
"He couldn't have gone far, right?" He asked, bouncing his knee up and down.
"Nah, i'm sure he stayed close. Lets just check the neighborhood, yeah?" You said.
You drove around, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the center console where Rodrick was holding it tightly.
--
"H-he can't be gone. (Y/n), he can't!"
Of course, you haven't "found" Greg yet. Rodrick was freaking out.
You pulled over and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles, his hand still in yours.
"Hey, Rod, it's okay. We'll find him, I promise."
Rodrick shook his head, his eyes becoming glossy. You felt bad for letting him believe Greg was really gone for so long, but you told Greg you'd stick with his plan. And you were true to your word.
"What if we don't?" His voice cracked.
"We will, I promise. But it's getting late and you should rest. We'll go looking for him first thing in the morning. I bet you he probably went to Rowley's house."
"Yeah... yeah, that makes sense," Rodrick nodded. "Thank you."
"You know I'd do anything for you. For Greg, too. I love that kid."
Rodrick smiled, hearing you speak so fondly of his younger brother. In that moment, he knew everything would work out.
You started driving back to the cul-de-sac you guys lived on. Rodrick leaned his head against the window and started to dose off, his hand still holding yours tightly.
Then you saw it. Greg walking on the sidewalk, just like he said he would.
"Rodrick! Dude!" You shook him awake.
"Huh? What?" He woke up, startled.
"Look!" You pointed over to Greg while pulling over.
Rodrick saw him and as soon as you stopped the car, he opened the door and stumbled out.
"Greg!" He called out to his younger brother.
Before Greg could even turn around, Rodrick had him engulfed in a hug. The display of affection obviously took Greg by surprised.
"Don't ever do that again," Rodrick paused, trying to come up with some sort of insult, "... dumbass."
"I won't, I promise."
You watched as the two brothers smiled at each other. A rare occurrence for sure, but a nice one.
Rodrick lightly pushed Greg towards the car and they both got in.
"Hey (Y/n)." Greg said from the back seat.
"Hey, kid, glad you're safe," You smiled back at him.
"Yeah."
"Had this guy close to bursting into tears," You snickered, gesturing towards Rodrick and trying to lighten the mood.
"Don't tell him that!" Rodrick mumbled as he nudged your arm. This only made you and Greg giggle more.
You saw a smile form on Rodrick's lips, despite him trying to hide it. Laughter was, indeed, contagious.
You poked his cheek, making him chuckle.
You started to drive towards the Heffley house, the mood in the car now light and playful. You pulled into their driveway and unlocked the doors.
"Go inside, twerp. I'll catch up." Rodrick said.
"Okay," Greg smiled, getting out and heading towards the door.
"(Y/n)... thank you." Rodrick said, his voice softer as he looked down at his shoes.
"For what?"
"I dunno, everything. I mean, who would get up in the middle of the night and help some loser look for their little brother?"
"Oh c'mon, Rodrick. I'd go to the ends of the earth for you or that kid. It's no big deal, really." You said.
"It is to me. Thank you," He finally looked up at you, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes.
"Anytime."
"Can I- um... can I try something?" He asked. His eyes darted away from you for a split second.
"Well, uh, yeah. Sure." You said, curious to as what wants to do.
Suddenly, Rodrick put his hand on your cheek and leaned in. You felt his lips press against yours softly and closed your eyes. The kiss lasted only a little bit, but it felt much longer.
You couldn’t lie. It felt amazing. Kissing Rodrick just felt so... right. It’s like your lips were made for each other.
He pulled back a little and you smiled, laughing softly.
"Is- Is that a good thing?" He asked.
"I dunno, you tell me."
You leaned in and kissed him again. He was quick to kiss back. Eventually you leaned back.
"You should get inside," Another kiss, "Don't want you getting in more trouble."
Rodrick's usual confidence came back and he smirked, "If it's for you, it's worth it."
"Shut up!" You laughed.
He chuckled and pecked your cheek, before walking to the door.
As you pulled into your own driveway, you smiled.
Your relationship with Rodrick Heffley had changed tonight. But you know it had changed for the better.
#rodrick heffley#rodrick heffley x reader#rodrick x reader#diary of a wimpy kid#diary of a wimpy kid rodrick#rodrick heffley x y/n#rodrick heffley fanfic#rodrick heffley imagine
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one and done Part 3
A/N Hey guys so sorry for a late update but here we are!!!! The last part of the series! I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you guys enjoyed as well! Let me know what you guys think please and also also also thank you for reading!🥰🥰🥰
Side note: I’ll come back and edit my brain hurts
Harry is engaged and having a baby but Y/N is just his best friend’s little sister.
Today’s warning: We are anticipating some heavy smut in this last part. Please prepare for a spitting, spanking, choking, and hair pulling kink, Male receives oral, unprotected sex and just shit like that y’know? I think there is begging in here too LOL OMG they almost had sex outside again but that’s just so inappropriate but yeah... I think that’s all. Oh yes, Y/N rides and just loves being a horny mess hehehe
Word Count: 11k // Masterlist // one and done PLAYLIST / Part 1 / Part 2
If there was one thing Y/N was excited about… it was her last summer of high school. As she reflected on her junior year, she was happy Harry and her were finally in a place where she could just reach out to him and be comfortable. Although they didn’t have labels, it was the last thing on their minds as they spent most of their free time together away from Ryan and any other nosy classmate of theirs. Harry also spoke about long roadtrips. Despite him staying home for college, he was excited to drive his girl to different campuses and check out new destination sites around the many different cities.
They were optimistic they would stay together in the summer yet here they are spending it apart.
Y/N was in her bedroom sitting on the floor wearing Harry’s sweater as she was staring at the pile of scattered clothes on the floor. It was July 6th and even after a month of grieving for her broken heart, she managed to still wear her ex’s sweater… only because it was the sole object that made her feel like what they had was real.
They were so on and off throughout the year and the one time they managed to stick together, it was all washed away. Too many signs telling them they were not meant to be.
But that’s the truth. Y/N thinks to herself as she wipes away a new coming tear falling down her face. Harry and her are not the cliché plot of dating your brother’s best friend. Their relationship was based on lust and ended with unrequited feelings. They are not soulmates. Y/N rests her head against the back of her bed. No matter how much you try to fight it, if you are not meant to be… that’s it.
“Are you okay?” Ryan stops by her doorway with a plate of late dinner. He was also blatantly oblivious to the fact his little sister was wearing a sweater of his best friend’s.
“Yeah, why do you ask?” She stares at him with an unamused expression on her face. Her room was a mess, her head was in places where it shouldn’t be and her heart just felt broken.
“You’ve been in a pissed off mood since last month.” he genuinely states as he walks into his little sister’s room. Maybe before he wouldn’t bother to ask Y/N how she was but the truth is, he is leaving soon and he’s a bit worried with the way Y/N has been taking care of herself.
“Is it that obvious?” Y/N sarcastically laughs as she throws some clothes away for Ryan to sit on her bed. He places his plate on her desk and takes her offer as he looks around the floor.
“You haven’t left the house nor have I seen Ness around.”
“I haven’t really been speaking to her.”
“Oh so you guys fought?”
“No, we didn’t. I just haven’t really been feeling social.”
“Y/N, you know you can talk to me right?”
“I know.” Y/N bites the inside of her cheek knowing full well that she’s lying.
“Will you be coming to the party tomorrow night?” Oh, that’s right. It’s Harry and Carla’s engagement party.
“That’s why I’m cleaning out my closet.” Ryan laughs a bit as he stands up and pats her head.
“You don’t have to impress anyone. You’re not the one getting married.” Y/N feels her throat tighten a bit as she watches him leave her room with his plate. She lets out a sigh before rubbing her face in frustration. If she had the choice, she wouldn’t go but that would also show Harry that she cares more than he thinks. It’s been a month and she had to prove that she was over him and over the deal.
After a couple hours of sulking on her bedroom floor, she finally stands up and takes off his sweater. In the corner of her room is a cardboard box of clothes that were to be packed away and stored in the attic. Without hesitation, she throws the piece of clothing and carries on with her night.
~
“Y/N, you look beautiful sweetheart.” Her mom waits for her at the bottom of the stairs. The sun was just about to set and it was also time for their family to drive to Carla’s home for the party everyone has been anticipating.
“Thank you.” Y/N musters a smile as she glances at herself in the mirror one more time before heading out to the car. Her mom was honestly surprised her daughter was all dressed up for the party tonight, there was something off about her but today, it felt like she had a piece of her daughter back again. Saying nothing out loud, she locks the front door and walks with the young girl towards the vehicle.
Truth be told last night before Y/N fell asleep, she knew today would be her biggest performance. All she knew is that she couldn’t wait for this day to end so she can go back and hide in her room.
“Hey mate.” Harry smirks as he offers a hug to Ryan. The party had just begun and Harry waited outside the house to wait for his best man to arrive. He was shitting his pants at the moment and the only thing that would make him feel a bit more comfortable at his own party is if Ryan was by his side -like the usual.
“I can’t believe you’re getting married, Haz.” Ryan tries to hide his disappointment in front of his family. Y/N and her parents stood behind him waiting for the duo to greet each other first. “I thought we would enjoy our bachelor era a bit you know… longer.” Harry tries to laugh as he makes eye contact with the pretty girl. Once the two pull away, he awkwardly laughs and greets Ryan’s parents.
“Carla is it for me man.” Harry tucks his hands inside the pockets of his trousers. “We’ve been together since grade school, I guess it’s time I tie her down to me forever.” Y/N’s mom laughs and pats his shoulder. The five began to walk to the backyard as she spoke up.
“Forget Ryan, I think you two make a lovely couple and are honest soulmates.” Harry glances at her and flashes a small smile. He thought having Ryan here would make him feel more comfortable but there was only one thought that was processing in his head as they walked the stoned pathway.
This engagement made him feel ten thousand times much worse knowing his in-law family wouldn’t be Ryan’s because the truth is there wouldn’t be anything much better than to have Y/N and Ryan’s parents as his too.
“Hi.” Carla approaches them with a warm smile on her face. The nude slim dress was impressive on her, especially as it made the diamond on her finger stand out more. She casually wraps her arm around Harry's waist as she takes a sip of the mango smoothie in her other hand. Although the smile on her face seemed genuine, Y/N wanted nothing more than to punch the girl’s face. If Harry was a jealous asshole, Y/N was much worse. Keep it together Y/N, please you don’t care. You don’t care.
That was the whole idea for the night anyway. Y/N has barely spoken a word since her father parked the car on the side of the road. She was even the last one to exit the vehicle because in all honesty, she didn’t want to unbuckle her seatbelt. Now, She stands beside her dad once again, shying away from the hosts of the party. Although her mom made her feel beautiful today, there was nothing more than to stand in front of the prettiest girl who has constantly been chosen over her.
“Thank you guys for coming. I’m so happy to meet you all.” Carla smiles as she turns her attention on Harry. She was happy and excited about their future. This whole night felt like a fever dream. Once more she looks at Ryan’s family and speaks up. “There’s a table for your family and dinner will be served out soon. I hope you guys enjoy” She rests her head on her fiancé but notices Y/N staring at her heels. “Are you okay Y/N? You seem a bit off.” And that statement was coming from a concerned person who was genuinely curious if the acquainted junior she got to know this year was alright. Y/N gulps as she makes eye contact with Carla. She was also very careful not to look at Harry.
“Ignore her. She’s been like that for a couple of weeks.” Ryan laughs as he turns around and glances at his sister. “This is your night but I still am wondering why you guys are getting married next month.”
Carla awkwardly smiles and waits for Harry to respond first yet she notices his eyes stay focused on his best friend’s little sister. “We just thought we should get the wedding out of the way before university starts.” Carla squeezes his palm for him to reply to.
“Don’t worry Ryan. I’m sure we’ll do everything we planned to do.” Harry smirks as he turns his back around to the music that just started to play. “Let’s walk you guys to your table, I believe the party is just about to actually begin.”
/
Throughout the night, Y/N did nothing more than fake a smile and applaud as speakers came to the mic and talked about Carla and Harry’s relationship. Blah blah blah. It was the same old thing really, and if she had the choice deep inside, she would wish she was the one sitting beside Harry talking about other things.
Dessert was finally available and due to the lack of activities and entertainment this party has brought to her, she waited until the line died down before she could carry her plate towards the table. She internally sighed as some of the choices were gone, leaving her to pick up a red velvet cupcake and two french macaroons on the side. Once she arrived back to her seat, her family that stayed back continued to talk about the two lovebirds. Her father and Ryan seemed to be having an amusing conversation as her mother made a new friend from the table beside them. Compliments after compliments was the only topic tonight, she really needed to take a walk around the unfamiliar neighbourhood after this.
“Guys, I’m just going inside to use the bathroom.” Her mom nods and acknowledges Y/N’s statement before turning her back once more to talk to another attendee of the party. Grabbing her purse, she excuses herself from the table and shyly walks around the party and towards the sliding door. Once she’s inside the home however, she ignores all the signs that gesture her towards the bathroom and instead makes her way to the front door. Carla’s home was pretty but not enough for her to stay.
“That’s not the washroom.” Harry speaks out as he walks down the staircase re-adjusting the sleeves of his polo. She realized the navy blue blazer he was wearing earlier today was now resting on the ottoman by the end of the railing.
“I was actually going to go on a walk.” She fixes her gaze on the painting in front of her instead of the boy casually making his way down.
“It’s a bit late, d-don’t you think.” He scratches his nose and picks up the article of clothing on the chair. He couldn’t help but stutter as his eyes followed the pink dress on the pretty girl.
“The neighbourhood seems really nice and I’m sure none of the rich families here are going to kidnap me and lock me in their basement.”
“Here.” She notices him walk towards her offering his blazer. “I would invite myself to walk with you but uh I think people would notice.” He rubs his palm against his neck and looks back at the door where the party is.
“It’s okay.” She shakes her head as she rejects his considerate offer. She continues to unlock the door before looking back at him. “I’ll be back soon. Ryan and my parents think I’m in the washroom. So if they ask, just say you don’t know. Congratulations, by the way.” She gives him a sad smile and walks out the door. He’s left speechless as he finally realizes this might be the last time things will be normal between them. “Fuck it.” He murmurs to himself as he rests the blazer behind his back and walks out the front door as well.
“Why are you following me?’ Y/N turns around carefully as she crosses her arms over her chest to keep herself warm. She was also trying very hard not to fall. Harry’s been distracting her all night, she didn’t realize she was wearing heels despite her goal to go on a night walk.
“Because I can’t let you walk around this neighbourhood by yourself!” Harry raises his voice as he tries to catch up with her. “God, I told you, you would need this.” He thoughtlessly puts the blazers over her shoulders as they walk down the slope.
“I promise you, I am not your responsibility anymore. You don’t have to be concerned about my whereabouts.” Y/N murmurs as she accepts the fabric and hugs it around her frame. Harry couldn’t help but look away from her as he heard that statement. Before everything went crumbling down, he used to pick her up and know every update from her. He used to watch out for her and just be there for her but even now, it was no longer okay.
“Who’s going to watch over you when I’m gone.” His voice is a bit more quieter now as they exit Carla’s neighbourhood.
“I don’t know. I always expected you were going to stay.” She glances at him before walking ahead of him.
“I know you’re mad and I’m sorry I had to put you through a lot.” He pulls her wrist to make her stop walking.
“How can I not be mad, Harry?” She closes her eyes, trying to not let the new formed tears in her eyes show. “You constantly choose Carla and the moment you finally break up with her. I get you and then you what… ghost me, break up with me? I don’t hear from you for 2 months only to find out you’re engaged! Fuck you.” She quickly wipes away a tear from her face. “God, I- You cheated on me! Didn’t you?”
“Y/N.” His heart beat drops as her voice raises. Never in his life has he seen Y/N this upset.
“No. It makes sense. Carla is barely even showing yet. It’s been three months and you…” She steps away from him and looks around. “I don’t know -you didn’t even have the audacity to tell me you don’t like me anymore.”
“I didn’t know how to react when you told me that.”
“Well you did.. You ignored my calls and continued to see Ryan.” She shrugs her shoulders and sarcastically laughs. “It’s fine. Now that I think about it, maybe I said it in the heat of the moment.”
“I know I messed up.” He bites his lip and runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t know why I reacted like that. Carla has always been so familiar to me… and with you, I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before.”
“Like what?” The monotone question rolls off the tip of her tongue.
“The fear I guess. I’m scared of losing Ryan, your family and um, you.” He clears his throat. “It’s just there’s so much on the line when it comes to you and me. Maybe if I tried harder, we wouldn’t be here right now but we are.”
“Well if it makes you feel better,” She takes a pause and stares directly at him. “I didn’t really mean what I said that day. You freaked out on something that was a typical post orgasm statement.” She lies.
“Why are you lying?” He shakes his head in disappointment. “Why are you trying to hurt me? You think this hasn’t been difficult enough.”
“No, I’m not lying. It’s true.” She attempts to walk again but his hand grabs her immediately letting her know, their conversation is not over.
“So you’re saying you don’t love me.”
“No, I don’t love you.”
“Bullshit!”
“Harry, I don’t even owe you an explanation!” and sometimes when you force yourself to lie too much, you begin to cry. “Fuck.” He immediately hugs her as she cries on his shoulder. “I don’t think we should do this.”
“I could never leave you alone, you know that right?” He whispers in her ear as he wraps his arms tighter around her frame.
“You have to. We can’t do this.” Y/N repeats herself as she tries to pull away. His scent is just so fucking intoxicating. It was his scent that made her drastically attached to him and now she knew like from the start, it was time to go.
“If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.” He tries to keep her in his embrace. He was rambling at this point but he had no idea what his goal was. Is he trying to persuade her to stay or to let her go?
“You made your choices, Harry. All you have to do is lie in it.” She pulls away and wipes away her tears. “We’re just these high schoolers that found a loophole in our deal. Carla though, she has always been the one for you.”
“You’re right though. I- I guess I always choose her in the end.”
“Make her happy H.” She gives a sad smile and shrugs her shoulders. Despite wanting to punch her face, Y/N knew the look in her eyes as she watched Harry. Carla was always madly in love with him and forever will be.
Harry and Y/N were just a glitch in the system.
“I hope I see you again. Maybe Christmas huh?” He looks down at his shoes as the girl gives him back his blazer.
“Maybe Christmas.” And without a word, Y/N walks back to the house leaving Harry to walk around the neighbourhood himself.
-
Harry and Carla had just gotten married and on the night of their reception, they announced their pregnancy. Y/N was there. She witnessed the smile on Ryan’s face, on her parents’ face and on Harry’s. Everyone was happy except for her.
The night left her to play with the food on her plate as it was her only source of entertainment. Broccoli grouped with the carrots suddenly being grouped with the steak. How about we make a snowman? To be honest, moping a bit too much at the event left her clueless to the fact the groom has been watching her all night.
It wasn’t a choice for him. Of course, he looked at other guests and spoke to Carla throughout the night but for some reason as he mindlessly ate his food and restated his vows to his wife, Y/N was the only thing his eyes could focus on. He’s been looking for her face in every room for a year and to be exact, nothing about his feelings has changed -Except tonight was the last day, he would ever feel like this again.
There were only three rules Harry gave himself tonight.
Rule 1: Don’t try and make conversation with Y/N.
Rule 2: Don’t beat the guy who offers her a dance.
Last but not least, Rule 3: Don’t tell her you love her.
And it was a success because he watched her walk out with an unfamiliar guy and come back with a flushed neck and red cheeks. He knew she totally got fucked in the washroom and all he did was take a sip of his glass as the fist on his lap began to form once again.
/
It’s been a week since and her whole house is a mess. She has been currently helping her brother move his things to the moving truck they rented. Her little grieving process was cut short due to the fact, things around her started to change so quickly. Ryan was on his way out of here. Harry and Carla were probably on an island, trying to make another sub baby and Ness started to come by more often.
The thing about her best friend is that Nessa understands space but she won’t let Y/N peacefully sulk for more than a month. To successfully distract her, the duo have been taking road trips around the cities and visiting different campuses together. Although it was an old plan of her and Harry’s, Y/N couldn’t help but feel delighted to have Ness back once again.
She cleaned out her room and removed all her old soccer trophies because for some odd reason, they reminded her of Harry. She even went to the measures of blocking his number and deleting pictures from their past dates off her phone.
She knew she wasn’t ready to let him go but he was now married, living in a new city with his own family. There was no other choice but to forget this shit happened.
Senior year was just about to begin for Y/N and if there was one thing she needed, it was a fresh start. No love interests, no heartbreaks. Just fun experiences before she leaves this hell hole.
After all, if you never bleed, you’re never going to grow.
~
3 years later…
“You’re going to be fucking late.” Ness throws a pillow at her best friend as she enters the room. “You have that plane to catch.”
“Fuck, what time is it.” Y/N murmurs as she could feel some drool on her pillow case.
“10:30.”
“Fuck!” She sits up immediately and grabs her phone. Her flight is leaving in an hour and God knows the traffic in Seattle. “Why didn’t you wake me up sooner!”
“Because your lazy ass wouldn’t wake up.” Ness walks out of the room and drinks her coffee. She was totally unfazed about her best friend panicking. “Relax.” Y/N gives her a death glare in return as she brushes her teeth in the kitchen. The two were very used to each other since they’ve not only been best friends for a long time but also roommates after moving to a new city.
“My brother’s wedding is in two days and I’m not even there yet.”
“Tell Ryan to choke for not inviting me, by the way.” Ness scrolls though the news feed on her phone as she casually bites into her bagel.
“Okay, I think I have everything.” Y/N walks out of her room in tights and an oversized sweater. “I really have to go.”
“You’re going to see him again, you know that right?” Ness really didn’t want to be the one to bring him up again but shit, Y/N looked like a dead zombie.
“It’s fine.” Y/N shrugs her shoulders. She couldn’t care less if she sees Harry again. “The last time I saw him, Carla and him were acting like total love birds at my mom and dad’s thanksgiving party.”
“That was like two years ago.” Ness tries to contain her laugh as she remembers their new pet names. Honey bunny and sweet treat. Oh to be in the honeymoon phase once again.
“Don’t think I forgot what you used to call Tom.” Y/N laughs as she rolls her luggage to the door.
“Shut up.” Nessa’s eyes widen as she throws a crumb at her. “That’s why I broke up with him.”
“Yeah, yeah. You better answer my call okay?”
“Yes babe, I know. I love you, take care!”
“Bye!”
And after the long haul of successfully boarding the plane, Y/N had five hours before she could finally see Ryan and his soon to be bride in Boston.
She was definitely nervous. The last wedding she attended was Harry’s and she knew full well how she badly coped with that. Not to mention how she calculated her schedule so she could “accidently” miss Ryan’s engagement party. Truth is, she doesn’t care about Harry but if there was any way she could try and dodge another awkward encounter...that’s what living in another city is for.
He also wasn’t really an ex but just a person in her life who managed to make her happy and sad at the same time. James had no idea who he was since she believed it was best to make that portion of her adolescence a secret. Just buried along with the other dreams she used to have.
After watching two movies and playing a random phone game, the plane finally landed. Y/N managed to brush her teeth and make herself look a bit more presentable after a heated run out of her apartment. Once she was at the pick up centre to grab her luggage, her heart beat began to increase signaling that she failed to neutralize her anxiety. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead as she walked past the crowd of people. There was a constant voice in her head screaming at her to tell Ryan her flight just got cancelled. Unfortunately, Ryan was on time as she could picture his figure right outside the window of the airport.
“Hey.” Ryan smiles as he gives his little sister a hug. He saw her a couple months ago but time still makes everything different. He’s happy his sister is finally here.
“Hi.” Y/N tucks a piece of hair behind her ear as the wind blows by them. “I see you got a nice haircut.”
“I did.” Ryan laughs as he carries his sister’s suitcase into his trunk.
“I can’t believe you’re getting married Ry! I swear to god, it was only yesterday you were complaining to Harry about his wedding.” Y/N squints her eyes due to the sun shining directly at her. She uses her hand to cover the side of her face as she lets out a joke,“Are you sure about her?”
“Meghan? Absolutely.” Ryan shuts the door as they stand there. “ I didn’t know what Haz was talking about when he told me he wanted to marry Carla but shit, when I met Meghan… I-”
“You’re whipped more than ever.” She smiles as she notices her brother’s cheeks flush. She tried to change the topic immediately after her brother said his name. “I knew Cassidy wasn’t the one.”
“Sure you did.” Ryan rolls his eyes as they sit in his car. “How about you? Any new updates?”
“No not really.” Y/N shrugs her shoulders as she puts on her seatbelt. “James and I have been together for a year now which is crazy-”
“I wish the guy could have come to the wedding, didn’t know how serious you guys were.”
“Honestly, if he didn’t have that internship at the hospital, I would’ve tried and persuaded him some more.”
“It’s okay.” Ryan laughs as he shakes his head. “Meghan found you a date already and I’m sure you’re going to be okay with it.” Y/N eyes widen.
“I was going to go stag.” She looks out the window in disbelief. It wasn’t her fault, her boyfriend was trying to get into medical school.
“Don’t worry sis. It’s a platonic date -that’s all it is going to be.” Ryan reassures her as he drives out of the parking lot.
“Let me tell James. Just in case, he might get jealous.” She pulls out her phone. “Who is this guy anyway?”
“I’m not telling you but who knows, James might fly over here just so you don’t go with a random guy.” Ryan smirks as he exits the highway.
“Who is he?”
“It’s a surprise.” Ryan tries to hide his laugh.
“Does he know you’re setting me up with him.”
“Please.” Her brother scoffs. “The guy is always too nice, he offered first.”
“Well, shit then.”
“You’ll get to know him before the wedding I promise. At least, you have company other than mom and dad.”
“So you’re going to let a random guy just sit at our table?”
“You have no idea.” And truth be told, Y/N wasn’t worried about the date Ryan and Meghan set up for her. Maybe it was one of Meghan’s family members who thought she was still single. It didn’t matter though because this event was for her brother and that’s all that was important.
“Oh my god!” Ryan and Y/N’s mother stood outside the house waiting at the driveway for them to arrive.
“Hi mom!” Y/N gives her a warm hug. “I missed you, where’s dad?”
“He’s inside with-”
“Y/N.” Y/N’s dad steps through the doorframe and meets Y/N at the steps for a hug as well. She knew her father couldn’t walk that much due to his recent hip surgery. What she didn't expect however, was for Harry to be following right behind him. “I missed you darling.”
“Hi dad I missed you more, I didn’t know Harry was here.” Y/N backs away and turns her back to look at Ryan. He didn’t seem surprised at all as he carried her luggage towards them.
“Hey.” Harry offers a small wave, seeming too quiet. He kept his hands behind his back as he observed the girl in front of him. It’s been two years and a lot has changed. Y/N thought he would still have his long hair yet it is very evident, he had a haircut as well. He also seemed much more muscular as well as the new addition of tattoos on his arm. While she stared at him, she didn’t realize Harry was noticing all the different features she had too. Her hair was longer and darker and she carried a different aura than before. She didn't look like the girl whose bedroom he used to sneak into.
“Hi Harry.” Y/N didn’t know how to start a conversation with him.
“I guess you met your date.” Ryan walks ahead of them and laughs as he continues to bring in the bags.
“Harry's my date?” Y/N asks in shock as she follows him behind. Her mom slaps her arm as Harry and their dad follow.
“Don’t act offended, You’ve known Harry since you were a kid.”
“Aren’t you married though.” Y/N turns her back and looks at Harry before facing the front again as she suddenly became distracted by the house’s decorations.
“I actually got divorced.” Harry bites his tongue right after.
“See, now look what you did. You embarrassed the young boy.” Y/N’s mom rubs his back as she murmurs to him. “I’m sorry, Haz.”
“Oh, it’s okay.” He shakes his head, trying to act as if the topic didn’t make him feel uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry too.” Y/N finally looks at him once more. “I had no idea.”
“It’s been a year. That’s what happens when you marry too young.” He laughed it off but everyone ignored that statement as they all knew there was a deeper cut in his heart.
When Carla was around 5 months, she had a miscarriage and although, they claimed they would try again… there was no new announcement after that.
“Y/N, this is your room.” Ryan tries to change the topic as he scratches his head.
“Thank you.” She steps inside for a bit of privacy after a long flight. Ryan and Harry along with her parents went back to the living room to go and continue their movie.
~
Today is Ryan’s wedding and the house was giving her many little flashbacks of Harry’s. The family was in this foreign home and was still running around getting ready. Her mother was screaming at her dad as he decided last minute to steam his suit. Ryan and Meghan were gone which left Harry and Y/N the only victims to her mother’s loudness. The two kept quiet as her mother ran around the house doing her hair and calling relatives for updates. Y/N managed to be ready on time so it let her sit on the couch looking at the photos in which mehgan has framed around the room.
“Your dad said I should drive you to the venue now. I think they’re definitely running late.” Harry speaks up after two days of ignoring her. The truth is last night when he went to the kitchen he saw Y/N sitting down on one of the counters and maybe if it was three years ago, he would’ve spoken to her but something about now told him to go back to his bedroom. He used to feel comfortable around her but now he’s walking around her as if he was on eggshells. He was so fucking nervous.
“Okay.” She agrees with him. Harry was the best man and she didn’t want him to be late because of her parents. Y/N puts her phone in the purse resting on her shoulder as she follows him out of the house. She would’ve been a bit more calm if she didn’t end her call with James midway through their fight.
“Um A-Are you okay?” He opens the door for her as he tries not to check her out. It was definitely difficult however as the way her long hair was styled and the pretty dress she wore. Luckily for Y/N, while Harry was doing some errands at home, she managed to “observe” him in his suit.
“Yeah, I’m good.” She lets out a small smile as she realizes Harry was still driving his car back from high school. You know the vehicle they had sex i-
“Alright.” The man breaks her out of the thought as he starts the car. “I promise tonight isn’t going to be weird around us.”
“Who said it was?”
“I don’t know I guess I just assumed.” He bites his cheek as he glances at her. That’s when the déjà vu hits and he feels like he’s eighteen years old again. She keeps her eyes on the road yet she had no idea that Harry was picturing her seventeen year old self sitting in the seat beside him. One of his favourite memories to be exact.
Flashback*
“So you’re kidnapping me to go camping in the woods.” Y/N smiles as she watches the unfamiliar road in front of them. Harry takes his shades off and passes it to the girl as he notices the sun is shining much more brighter than before.
“Hey, you got permission from your parents.” He smirks at her as he keeps his hand on the gear stick.
“They think I’m sleeping over at Nessa’s.” Y/N laughs as she puts on the shades and looks at him. His cheeks turn red as he catches the sight of the pretty girl wearing everything of his.
“Is little Y/N scared of the dark?” His hand smoothly travels to her thigh.
“I am not.” Y/N chokes on her breath. It was bad enough Harry looked so hot whilst he was driving.
“I think you are.” He notices her breathing becoming a bit more short. “You and me in a tent alone in the dark.” His hand goes a bit more south, gipping her inner thigh.
“I have a surprise for you.” She blurts out. She was also seconds close to making Harry pull over to the side of the road.
“And what is that?”
“I’ve been wearing a plug and I’m ready.” The speed of the car increases a bit as he mindlessly presses his foot to the sound of her voice. He looks at her one more time before taking over the car in front of them.
“Fuck then. My baby once again proves that she isn’t as innocent as I thought.”
End of flashback*
The venue was beautiful. Ryan and Meghan chose this beautiful garden that had tulips growing everywhere. The white gazebo was obviously where the wedding would take place as the reception was only a stoned pathway ahead. Since Harry was the best man and Y/N was his date, she managed to follow him around the place as he spoke to the event planner and the maid of honour. She had a whole tour of the location as Harry spoke about the party’s process to her. Not only that, but he was an amazing date -he kept his hand on her back and introduced her to people she didn’t know.
Currently, she was sitting on the bench watching Harry talk to some familiar faces. They seemed like a few boys Ryan and he would hang out with back in high school. She was mindlessly watching him laugh and smile throughout the conversation until she didn’t realize he was already staring at her. After excusing himself, he walked back towards her.
“I’m sorry, If I’m boring yeh.” Harry rubs his neck as he sits down beside her. The wedding was about to start in a couple of hours.
“No, you’re not.” Y/N laughs as she keeps her eyes on the lake behind him. She suddenly remembers their camping trip. She shakes her head at the thought and shrugs her shoulders. “How are you feeling?”
“About the wedding?” He pulls down the sleeves of his dark grey suit. She nods her head and waits for him to continue. “I’m happy Ryan is marrying Meghan. It’s funny how he thought he would stay single for long.”
“I remember him telling you that when you were engaged.” She bites the inside of her cheek. She definitely just put her foot in her mouth again. She was definitely known for that but Harry didn’t seem fazed at all about her statement.
“I mean don’t get me wrong, Weddings are a bit difficult to attend at the moment just because I know mine didn’t end well but um…” He clears his throat and faces himself more towards her. “I also got married knowing I wasn’t really in love with the girl.” Y/N finally looks at him as she watches the familiar green eyes say the truth.
“I know.” She nods her head again. “Things are different now and I hope you do find the girl that you are 100% about.”
“Yeah.” He looks at the patch of flowers in front of them. He would tell her what he thinks but he knows she’s dating someone.
“Let’s go check out your brother.” Harry stands up and offers his hand out. “I’m sure he’s wondering where we are.”
And so the event continued. Y/N’s parents arrived and so did the other guests. The beautiful girl in her wedding dress walked down the aisle and Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off the girl sitting in the crowd.
It was simple for him, he knows he’s not over her but he wouldn’t tell her that.
Would he tell her that he started coming home more after Carla’s miscarriage in hope of seeing her? No.
He definitely can’t tell her that he was hurt. He would come over to their house only to find out she wasn’t home or when he found out she was moving to Seattle for college.
After the past two years, Ryan briefly mentions her and James and he felt like he no longer had a chance. At least with her.
So standing beside Ryan as his best man felt like a total shot in the heart because Harry knew he wasted his time and lost the girl as well.
Y/N catches his eyes watching her and just for a moment, she wished things were different too.
~
When the reception started, Harry and Y/N along with her parents sat at one of the tables close to the bride and groom
The hosts were right however, as Harry fit perfectly with the family. Throughout dinner, he made jokes and started conversing with her parents more than she thought. Although he gave her some attention, he didn’t fail to compliment her mother as well.
The two sat together eating dessert as he leaned over to whisper something in her ear. “I’ll let you have a bite out of my brownie if I can steal a bite from your cake.” Harry smirks as he takes a sip of his glass of tequila. He wasn’t trying to get drunk but a little strong (strong) alcohol should cause no harm. Y/N casually steals the glass from his hand and takes a sip as well.
The two were finally much more comfortable with each other after spending the day side by side. Harry laughs as he takes his fork and steals a bite of her cake. The red velvet flavour melting in his mouth as he watches the girl swallow the rest of his drink.
“Sorry, I’m a bit quenched.” Y/N laughs as she puts the glass down and stabs her fork back into her cake. His fork immediately swats hers away.
“I’m not done with my bite.” He teases her as he pulls the small plate towards him. Y/N mouth drops.
“You guys fight like children.” Her dad speaks up and smiles at the scene in front of them.
“He asked to steal a bite but he stole the whole plate.” She laughs as she watches him shove numerous tiny bites in his mouth. Y/N mom laughs as she smiles at the cheeky boy.
“I said you can have some of my brownie but you proceed to finish my drink.”
“You seem a little drunk anyway.” She lies as she leans forward to take the brownie from his plate.
“Want some shots.” Harry blurts out as he finishes the dessert. “You finished my drink so I’m heading back to the bar… you still might be a bit quenched.”
“Okay.” She laughs as the two excuse themselves from the table.
~
“Do you remember the scrunchie on my wrist and you called me out on it.” Harry slowly dances with Y/N as the night continues on. The event was almost over but all the attendees were on the dance floor dancing to Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. As a proper stellar date, Harry didn’t hesitate to ask the girl for a dance as he knew last time he missed out.
“I know you stole it.” Y/N laughs as she unconsciously rests her head on his shoulder. The truth is when in doubt, Y/N always drinks a bit more than usual. It seems whenever Harry is around, she can’t help but be drunk.
“Oh really?” He pulls away and laughs. “I was going to tell you an old story but you already know.” Y/N rolls her eyes as she looks at the people surrounding them. Nobody was shocked to see how close they were dancing. Everyone was in their own little bubble and maybe if Y/N and Harry didn’t break the ice or drink a bit, they would definitely not be as bold as they are right now.
“No! You have to tell me now.” Her eyes widen as she readjusts her hands on her shoulders. Harry smirked at her anticipation as he willingly rests his hands back on her waist.
“It was the first night we made the deal.” He whispers quietly hoping no one would hear them. “It was on your vanity and I took it after you sleepily threw my clothes at me.” They both laugh at the old memory.
“I saw you wearing it during the game.”
“So did you always watch me back then? Probably just wanted to get into my pants.” Y/N cheeks flush as she hides her face away from him.
“You’re acting as if I never caught you staring right back at me.”
“True.” he twirls her around. “Couldn’t keep my eyes off you after that deal you offered.” Y/N immediately pulls away after he hears the statement roll of his tongue.
“Harry, I know tonight has probably been the most normal conversation we had with each other but… We can’t go back there.” She walks off the dance floor, making him follow her without hesitation. Instead of going back to their table however, she makes a b line to the unlighted pathway of the garden.
“Hey, don’t go. I’m sorry I ruined the moment.” He unbuttons the top of his vest seeing his blazer was still on his chair. “I spoke about fight club-”
“You remember that?” Y/N slows down her speed and turns around. “It’s been three years and you still remember it?”
“Why don’t you?” Harry turns his back around to notice the bushes covering them from the rest of the party.
“Of course I do but you got married and moved away. I just thought that would slip your mind.”
“Well it didn’t.” He musters up a small smile and shrugs his shoulders. “Look, can we go back to the party and pretend I didn’t mess this up.”
“It’s not about you messing up H. It’s the fact that I still get flashbacks of you and I -and seeing you here again is making me feel like the past three years didn’t happen.”
“I didn’t see you during Christmas.” He blurts out as he watches her sigh. “Any holiday except thanksgiving to be exact.”
“Well, I moved to Seattle and couldn’t book a flight home every time of the year.”
“Carla is dating someone new.” Y/N nods her head. “And I’m still not able to get you out of my head.”
“You might just ghost me next time around.” She lets out a sarcastic laugh as she tries her best not to trip over herself as she walks a bit further into the pathway.
“I told you I regret doing that.” He continues to follow her. “It’s been three years and you’re still mad about it.”
“I’m not mad. I’m just saying whenever it’s you and I, you tend to ghost me and run back to Carla.”
“If it makes you feel better, I could give a fuck less what Ryan thinks of us. It’s why I asked him if I could be your date.”
“I have a boyfriend Harry! An actual boyfriend who waits for me after work everyday. A boyfriend who actually replies to my calls-”
“He hasn’t even met Ryan or your parents!”
“And-”
“Look Y/N, all I’m saying is I don’t care about this fucking guy!” Harry sternly walks towards her until he backs her up to a wall of vines.
“Then why are you trying to talk about our old memories and shit like that.”
“Because,” He pauses as he thoughtlessly rests his hands on either side of her head. “I fucking care about you. The moment Carla had a miscarriage and she needed me the most, I needed you! I didn’t realize I let you go the moment I went back to her.”
“Harry…”
“So it’s true, you didn’t love me.” He pulls away but Y/N brings her hands up to his face to keep his eyes on her.
“Of course, I did.” Y/N cries as she shakes her head in disbelief. “Why would you think that would be true? You called me out on it before.”
“I came back every couple of months hoping to see you at home with your parents. You were always gone.”
“Did you actually?”
“Fuck.” He pulls away and runs his hand through his short hair. He swore he would never tell her this. Is this how desperate he is now. “Yeah, of course I did. I knew you would leave for college but I wish I knew from you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not even your fault.” He laughs as he hugs her. “I want you back.” His arms wrap around her much more tightly than before. “Please.”
“James-”
“Do you love him?”
“Harry, don’t ask that?”
“No, I want to know.”
“Well I don’t know because after what you did-”
“Then you still love me.” He looks up at her in hope she would say yes. Just admit it, please.
“Okay and if I do -what do I do now? I like James and although it hasn’t been long I’m sure something will change.”
“Can’t you see?” He directs her back to the wall of vines. “You were always mine the same way, I was always yours.”
“The loophole of our deal.” She mumbles out loud as her hands mindlessly hold onto his forearms.
“The deal has always meant more to me than it should’ve.” He whispers as the sound of music and distant chatter is the only thing they can hear.
And I want to tell you everything
The words I never got to say the first time around
And I remember everything
From when we were the children playing in this fairground
Wish I was there with you now
If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
“Just kiss me already.” Y/N watches him as she lets out one more breath. Without hesitation he kisses her as the grip on her waist tightens. Y/N’s hands immediately play with the curls that reach the nape of his neck.
“Fuck, I missed you.” His soft lips rub on her left cheeks as he rubs himself on her. His hands begin to wonder in disbelief that she’s in his arms again. Her scent clouding his thoughts that they haven’t even noticed they’re still at a party.
“I want you.” Her hips raise itself on him as she rests her back on the cement behind her. “Harry, please.”
“We’re going home.” He bites his lip as his eyes darken. Without even thinking of what others would say, he mindlessly holds her hand as they walk out of the secluded space. The two didn’t bother telling anyone they were leaving the party as he basically dragged the poor girl to his car.
“Do you even know how to get inside Ryan’s house.” She giggles as she keeps herself close to his arm. He takes his blazer and rests it on her shoulders back like a few years ago.
“I have my ways.” He smirks as he helps her inside the vehicle.
This whole event felt like déjà vu. The wedding, the car ride, the quick secret escape from a party just to have sex. If there was one thing Y/N and Harry were good at, it’s probably how good they were at keeping themselves as a secret.
“I’ve missed you more than I thought.” Y/N bites her lip as she rests her head on the seat, watching Harry drive.
Him in his suit too focused on driving them home made her want to fuck his brains out. Truly.
Harry’s cheeks flush as he takes her hand into his. “I’m no longer that frat boy you used to know. I’m much nicer.”
“Oh really, in what ways?” she smirks as she eyes the growing bulge in his pants.
“I promise you won’t be able to leave my room tonight that’s for sure.”
“Then I’m happy.”
/
Moist air, dark night, and bodies clinging to each other as Harry struggled to open the front door. As the groom’s best friend, of course he had keys to his house. Y/N couldn’t help but keep her hands on his slim torso as there was something about just holding them that was driving her crazy.
“Fuck, your parents are going to wonder where we are.”
“I don’t fucking care.” Y/N licks the side of his neck before running inside. She’s trying to laugh quietly as she attempts to take off her heels. Harry being the responsible one, he texts Y/N’s dad they went home. Afterwards, he stops by Y/N’s room to lock it before he follows the girl into his room.
Once he locks the door, he realizes Y/N managed to take all her clothes off as she laid on his bed. “For fuck’s sake.” He mumbles to himself as he forgot how horny and crazy Y/N can be. He rubs the slight stubble on his chin as he watches the girl bite her lip and roll in his sheets. “You’re such a little devil aren’t you?”
“Like I said I missed you.” She fakes her confidence as Harry crawls up to meet her on the mattress. His finger takes the lip out between her teeth as his lips move forward to kiss her once again. His goal was to lay her down and kiss her naked body but it seemed like Y/N had other plans in mind. Her arms push him away as she kneels on the mattress. Keeping her eyes on him, she unbuttons the rest of his vest before spreading her palms over where his heart beat. Harry is speechless but the moment she began to unbuckle his belt he had to say something.
“Oh I see.” He smiles as his hand holds Y/N’s chin to his face. “I thought my girl really did miss me but it seems like she missed my dick a bit more huh? You want it?” He grips her face a bit harder as her hands maintain on his waistline. She nods shyly as she tries to continue her action.
“Fine, do what you want but I’m not done with you yet.” His voice softens as his hand immediately brushes the soft hair away from her face. His green eyes watch her drool over him as she unzips his pants. His hands on the flip side continued to remove the white long sleeve off his body. “Take it in your mouth. I know you’re dying too baby.” Y/N cheeks turn red as her tongue peaks out to kiss his hard cock. The funny thing is, she couldn’t keep her eyes off him despite being a horny mess. Sex was never the same if it wasn’t with harry and that was a fact because the moment she put him in her mouth, he pushed himself harder until he could feel the back of her throat.
The constant humming and gagging sounds wasn’t enough for him because the moment he pulled himself out of her little wet hole. He pulls her hair harder to keep her eyes on him. Without even hesitating, he spits in her mouth and puts his dick back in. From the way Y/N’s eyes rolled back, he knew full well that this was his girl and some things don’t change...especially the way she reacts to him.
“Are you going to let me fuck your mouth baby?” He moans quietly as he softly strokes her scalp. “How many times are you going to make me cum huh?” Y/N chokes a bit as he thrusts himself at a faster rate. “Always so pretty aren’t you dove?” He pulls himself out and slaps her tit. “What do you want me to do?” He whispers as kisses her lips once more. His mouth thoughtlessly kisses down the side of her neck as his hands press and grope on her tits.
“I want you everywhere.” His eyes watch her dilated ones as he slowly pushes her down the mattress.
“Hm, I don’t think you want to as much I thought?” He teases her as one of his fingers pops into his mouth and later into hers.
“You want me to beg?” Her tongue swirls around his digit as she lays helplessly on his pillows. “Never.”
“Never?” Harry laughs as his wet fingers pretended to walk down her body to her heated centre. “When did my baby become such a brat?” The devious smirk plays on his face as his tongue licks the side of his mouth.
“I’ve always been a brat.”
“Oh, so you don’t want me to fuck you is that what you’re saying?” His hands immediately stop teasing her as he begins to jerk himself off -slowly but surely.
“I do.” She tries to sit up but his hand pushes her back down immediately. “Harry, please?”
“Is that you begging me?” He laughs as his thumb wipes a bead of precum on his dick. “I would rate that three out of ten, Extra point because good girls say please.”
“Baby...” Y/N moans out as she tries to reach for him but Harry’s hands immediately grabs them and places them above her head.
“Just beg a bit better and maybe you wouldn’t have to work so hard, love. You said it before so show me you want me.”
“Daddy please fuck me.”
“Like music to my ears.” He spreads her legs open and pushes himself inside her. “Fuck.” It’s always the condom that gets to him.
“No, stay.” She whines as she holds onto his wait. “Please, I’m on birth control and James and I don’t really-”
“What?” His eyes widen as he bites the inside of his cheek. “What did you say?”
“He’s an intern at this hospital so he’s just always been busy.” She whispers in embarrassment. Don’t get her wrong, she has sex just not as much as she thought she should.
“Fucking hell.” He mumbles as he thrusts himself a bit harder into her. “No one has taken care of you in a while huh?” He bends down and kisses her again. The soft wet licks stay longer as he hears the beat of her heart. It was beating fast just like his.
“Mhm. Please Harry just fuck me.” She cries out as she takes his fingers back into her mouth. His thrusts become harder and harder as he watches her face cry in pleasure. “Oh daddy, fuck.”
“So fucking good. You’re such an angel oh shit.” His palm immediately chokes her. He couldn’t help but watch how her tits move up and down due to the force he’s putting into her.
“Let me ride you.” Her hips thrust up and meet him. Her mouth opens wide at the feeling.
“You sure about? Sure you can still take me?” His hand gives her a little slap to the cheek.
“Of course I can.” Y/N smirks. Harry immediately pulls himself off her as he lays down on the mattress himself. “You think I’m going to let you fuck me all night long. I’ve been wanting to fuck your brains out.”
“Y/N,” He smirks as he watches her straddle him. “You think you can fuck my brains out? You seem pretty fucking confident, baby.” He flicks her nipple which makes her press herself deeper onto his dick.
“I can.” She closes her eyes as Harry watches the moonlight shine on her face.
“Yeah, then show me.” He slaps the side of her thigh more harder than before. “Fuck me. Just use me then.”
“Just promise I’ll be a good girl, daddy.” her hands slide down to his waist.
“Promise.” He bites his lip and watches their wet desperate centres meet.
And in that moment, there was nothing but lust in their eyes as they fucked back and forth. Y/N moaning as Harry continued slapping her ass. He couldn’t help but thrust his hips as well due the fact there was nothing better than feeling Y/N’s desperate pussy clenching for more.
“Go on all fours.” He cries out after a few more rounds. Y/N wasn’t lying since she definitely fucked his brain out. There was nothing on their minds other than jumping each other’s bones over and over again.
Once she’s in position, he slaps her ass once again before putting himself back in.
“Oh god, shit baby.” Y/N bites the end of his pillowcase as she keeps her hands on the headboard. “You’re so big, I can’t anymore fuck.”
“I know you have one more in you, come on baby.” He pulls her hair and slaps her ass once more.
“Fuck!” She moans out as she feels his wet spit travel down her pussy. Harry immediately thrusts harder as the sweat on his neck begins to bother him. His thrusts were becoming sloppy but he needed Y/N to cum one more time.
“God, fuck me.” Harry moans out as Y/N finally cums one more time around him. Without even thinking, he releases himself inside of her and pulls her hair harder one more time. She immediately falls down as she can’t feel a thing. Harry felt her clench around him despite his need to pull himself off her.
“Baby, you have to let go.” He kisses the back of her shoulder and grips the side of her waist.
“Please don’t go.” She cries out and wipes her tears on the pillowcase. Harry slowly pulls himself off and lays on the bed beside her. He puts himself back in and wipes her tears away. His arm pulls her closer to him as he whispers one more thing into her ear.
“I love you.”
~
“Glad to see you two are awake.” Y/N’s mom waits in the kitchen as she makes pancakes on the stove. “Ryan and Meghan left last night right after the reception.” She suspiciously keeps her eyes on the two as they walk together to the breakfast table. “Harry, thank you for leaving the door unlocked. We came home around one last night.” Oh shit did they hear us? Y/N looks at Harry who seems bothered as he takes a sip of the coffee in his mug.
“I didn’t hear you two.” She brings the plate to the table. “If you’re wondering Y/N.”
“Mom, it’s not what-” Her cheeks flush in an embarrassment.
“Oh please, don’t bother lying. I already lied, Harry was the one who opened the door for us.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “And Harry, don’t bother giving me an excuse. It makes sense.” She sits down with the two of them. “You always kept visiting us back home and the way your eyes watched her when she came here after her flight gave it all away.”
“Not to mention, you answering the door shirtless and Y/N not responding when we knocked on her door last night.” Y/N’s dad appears with a newspaper in hand.
“Does Ryan know?” Harry looks at Y/N and puts a pancake on her plate. Does her parents even know she’s wearing his clothes?
“Ryan saw you two leave together.” Y/N’s mom laughs. “Don’t worry, it was him and Meghan’s idea to also try and pair you guys together.”
“Wait so he’s okay with it.” Y/N speaks up after murmuring a thank you to Harry.
“Of course he is, Y/N. You guys are no longer teenagers right? So make your own choices for Christ’s sake.” Her mom states in disbelief.
“Did you know I’ve been seeing her back in high school?”
“Harry.” Y/N’s dad’s tone changed. Sounded a bit like disappointment.
“Oh god, there is more to the story?” Y/N’s mom rolls her eyes. “Alright, eat up everyone, you two have to tell us everything.”
~
“So this is it.” Y/N smiles as she sits in his car. The two were currently at the airport. “I had no idea, you relocated to Boston. It makes sense why you had so many things in your room back at Ryan’s house.”
“Yeah, I transferred last year. I’m hoping to finish here, graduate and then see what else I can do.”
“What do you think this means for us?” She puts her shades on as she pulls on the sleeves of her light sweater that she was wearing over her collared shirt.
“It means that this is when I ask you if you would please be my girlfriend.” Y/N’s cheeks flush and she hides her face in her hands.
“Are you for real?” She laughs.
“Yes.” He smirks as he keeps his hands on the steering wheel.
“I will be your girlfriend, Harry.”
“Good. You’re breaking up with James right.” Y/N rolls her eyes and nods.
“I’m ending it with him, the moment I land back in the city.”
“Make some space, I might move there.” He lightly jokes but there was some truth in it. Meghan and Ryan were married, there was no need for him to take up some space in their house.
“Sure, you’ll love Seattle and Ness is there too.”
“I like that. Will you introduce me to your ex?” Y/N laughs as she opens her door.
“No.” but right before she can get out, his hand pulls her back in for a kiss. Once their lips touch, he looks at her once again.
“I love you.” He genuinely states as he watches her eyes melt in happiness.
“I love you too.” She smiles and kisses him once more. “Bye, Harry.” She hugs him across the platform and kisses his cheek too. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you more. Call me later tonight when you land yeh?”
“Okay.” She pouts. She had to catch a flight and be away from him for at least one more year.
“I love you okay, baby.” He kisses her forehead. “Bye.”
“Bye.” And with that, Y/N steps out of the car and watches him drive away. She has a plane to catch and he has some sheets to clean but that doesn't change the fact, they are finally together.
And everyone knows it.
Fini!
---------
Taglist: @f-flourishing , @nataliedahlia , @florenceskies , @much-love-tay , @goldenxstyles7 , @sixwyrxstuff , @y0uresogolden , @gucciantidote , @kikisparadise18 , @muffpuff23 , @stylessugarhigh , @f-vasquezp , @alwaysclassyeagle
#harry styles angst#jealous!Harry#Harry Styles#harry styles smut#harry styles one direction#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles stories#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurbs#harry styles one shots#one direction fanfic#one direction one shots#one direction imagines#harry styles imagines#Harry styles fluff#frat boy!harry#solo harry
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More bullet point fanfic by yours truly! - First kiss edition
I woke up at 4 am thinking of this and it's been stuck in my brain ever since. Watch me eventually write it as a whole ass fic
It's the weekend, a slow, hot day. Reki and Langa are in Reki's room, as usual, watching a mix between skating videos and dumb videos that make them laugh (and the occasional cute animal video they will inevitably come across). It's a slow, relaxing day, nothing out of the ordinary for them, except that they can't go out because it's just *too* hot
Langa's got his chin on Reki's shoulder, his eyes falling shut every so often. The heat makes him sluggish, but he refuses to go home where it's cooler or take a nap to sleep the heat away. He's adamant to continue watching what's playing on Reki's phone, even if the light is tiring his eyes
And Reki doesn't mind. He's never minded having Langa close, basically cuddled into his side. Reki likes it, actually. He likes having Langa close. He likes feeling Langa pressed into him, Langa's chin digging into his shoulder, Langa's hair tickling his cheek, Langa's bony elbow pressed into his side. Obviously it's because Reki is used to having people in his personal space. The twins when they cling to his leg, his mother when she hugs him, Koyomi when she's poking him.
So Reki doesn't mind having Langa close, falling asleep on his shoulder. At least, not until Langa is shifting, nose pressing against Reki's neck, the soft skin where no one ever touches him. And his warm breath is heating up Reki's face for a reason he can't tell. Or maybe he can, when Langa is mumble-asking if he can kiss Reki
Langa doesn't mean it. He can't mean it. Langa always mumbles out nonsense when he's half asleep. So Reki laughs it off awkwardly.
Except Langa's nuzzling closer, "please, Reki? Can I, please?"
Reki doesn't trust his voice, knowing it'll come out as a squeak, so he just nods. He has no idea what Langa is going to do, or what kind of kiss he wants, but Reki wants whatever it is, which is weird. Kissing the homies good night was just a saying, not an actual thing, right?
But when Langa's pressing a kiss to his cheek, everything fades away. It doesn't feel weird or wrong or anything. It actually feels nice. Reki likes it. Even if it's just a quick peck, Reki likes it. A lot.
Everything fades, everything goes hazy. Maybe it's from the heat, maybe it's from something else, but Reki's shifting, turning to Langa, Langa with his heavy lidded eyes, Langa with his pretty smile. Maybe it's the heat, maybe that's what's fogging Reki's everything, but something happens. Something happens for Langa to be kissing him, or maybe he's the one kissing Langa; he can't tell who started it. But they're kissing. And Reki feels like he's floating.
Reki is the first to pull away, gasping for air, but langa's chasing his mouth and Reki can't say no to that.
It's not Reki's first kiss - he had kissed a girl on a dare in 6th grade during one of those middle school parties - but it is the first time he was feeling someone's tongue against his lips. It is the first time he was gripping onto someone's shirt to hold them close as the kiss was deepened. It is the first time he was kissing a boy. And he.... Reki likes it. He likes kissing Langa.
When Langa finally pulls back, they're both flushed and panting. Maybe they had gotten a little carried away, but Reki doesn't care. He can't care, not when everything feels blissfully light
At least everything feels nice until Langa's eyes are blown wide open, scrambling to pick his stuff up, shoving them into his bag.
"shit, shit, fuck, I promises my mom I'd be home before dinner. Fuck, she's gonna be pissed. I'm so fucked-!"
And he's dashing off, Reki not even getting a chance to put in a single word. Something twists inside of Reki. Maybe Langa regretted kissing him, maybe that's why he was running away now. Maybe Langa didn't like it as much as Reki did.
They don't talk about the kiss(es). No one brings it up. Reki's too afraid to bring it up and Langa is acting like it never happened. They're both desperately trying to go back to how things were before, but Reki jumps every time Langa's hand brushes against his and Langa isn't leaning in as close as before when they watch videos during lunch at school. It's not horrible, but Reki can feel the tension, which can only mean one thing: Langa hated the kiss.
This goes on for a few days, the awkward no touching but still wanting to. It calms down a bit after a few days. Reki's a little less jumpy, Langa is starting to lean back in (not as much as before, but still always a little closer). They can sit shoulder to shoulder now, not quite touching yet, but getting there. That's how Reki finds himself staring at Langa, watching him eat, looking at his mouth. His mouth that had been pressed to Reki's only a few days ago. His lips so soft despite being chewed at on the daily.
Reki can't blame his actions on the heat this time. He can't blame anything or anyone except himself as he presses a quick kiss to the corner of Langa's mouth. He tries deflecting, finding excuses ("you had something and-!") but it's useless. There's nothing that can excuse his behavior
But Langa simply let's his head fall onto Reki's shoulder. He's not pushing Reki away. He's not telling him that it was wrong of him to do that. None of that.
"M'tired..." "It's the heat, dude" "wanna sleep" "wanna ditch and head back to your place? It's way cooler there" "only if you come"
Reki short circuits as soon as Langa's fingers are twisting with his, tracing the lines in his palm, not letting go.
"can we go? Not like we're actually going to listen to anything, even if we go back"
That's how Reki finds himself pulling Langa up, walking by his side until they're out in the yard and skating off towards Langa's place. That's how he finds himself coming to a halt in front of the apartment he's been in only a handful of times. They always go to his place, crashing in his room. They rarely ever go by the apartment.
Reki watches as Langa unlocks the door, kicking his shoes off as he set his board against the wall. And he follows his lead, though a little more careful, untying his shoes and setting them in a corner with his own board. It's a lot colder in here than it is in his room. The AC must be put to it's lowest.
"you want something? I think my mom bought cookies yesterday"
Reki watches as Langa pulls out more food - they just finished lunch, but Langa is a monster when it comes to snacks, no matter what time it is - before crashing into the couch. Reki follows, like a puppy. He isn't uncomfortable, but still. The environment feels new and he isn't sure how comfortable he should make himself
That is until he's sitting on the couch and Langa is putting his head on Reki's lap, a cookie in his mouth as his bright blue eyes are staring up at Reki. Blue like a clear sky, sun blazing down over the ocean
"I'm sorry," Langa says, holding up his half eaten cookie. "about the other day, I mean. I shouldn't have done that" "I'm sorry too. About- about earlier? It was dumb"
There's a beat of silence. Then Langa is shifting again, sitting up
"Look, Reki, I- I like you and I get it if you dont-!" "Really dude? Like, like like me?" Langa nods, though looking a little confused. "You can do that?" "Reki, you... You do know I'm gay, right?"
Reki did not know that. And when Reki is caught off guard, he acts dumb. That's why he's blurting out "you're gay???"
Langa's still staring at him in disbelief. "yes? I thought it was obvious?"
Apparently not enough for Reki to get the hint. "Oh my god. You like me. You like me. You actually like me."
"Look, you don't have to-" "I like you too! I mean," Reki rubs at his nose, laughing nervously, "i gotta, right? Since I kinda really wanna kiss you again?" "You do?"
And they're both laughing at each other, Langa's face buried in Reki's shoulder. Reki can feel the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, though he isn't sure if it's from the laughing or from how happy he is
Then Langa's shifting against him once again, look up at Reki with his beautiful blue eyes. "Can I kiss you?"
Reki doesn't answer him, only pressing their mouths together. Because of course Langa can kiss him. He's been thinking about it ever since it first happened
The kisses are slower this time. They're not rushed, not as needy. They take their time exploring each other, feeling what's comfortable, what feels good. It's new, the kissing, and they will have to find how to do it properly. But for the most part, there's more smiling than there is kissing
"Reki?" Reki hums against Langa's lips, not quite ready to pull back completely. "Reki, what does this make us? Does this make us boyfriends?"
The realization hits like a truck. He could be Langa's boyfriend. Never in a million years did Reki think that would happen
"yes? I think? I mean, I want to" "does that mean we aren't best friends anymore?"
Langa's eyes and big and wide and worried. He knows he shouldn't laugh, but Reki can't help it. He can't help but laugh, pressing a kiss Langa's cheek
"no, were still best friends, man. Nothing can change that. And I mean," Reki ducks his head, rubbing at his nose, "it's like what they say in all those Hollywood movies. You know, the cheesy romcoms? In those speeches when the main characters get married? That they're marrying their best friend? Not that were getting married! I didn't mean us-!"
Langa's kisses only got sweeter with time. A quick peck cutting Reki off before he fell into a panicked ramble. "I get what you mean. I just... I don't want to lose you. You're the only best friend I've ever had." "What about boyfriend?" "You'll be the last one."
Reki is satisfied with that. He's more than satisfied as Langa is pressing another kiss to his face, then to his mouth. How long had he wanted this? Reki has no idea, but now that he's got it, now that he's got Langa, he's happy.
#this got out of hand#never trust a 4 am fic idea#and yes i have like 100 different forst kiss ideas for these two#because they cute#and i can have as many ideas as i want#also no filter sleepy Langa is funny#also i dont know how hes surviving Japan's hest because I'm fucking dying of heat and its nowhere near those temperatures#hes gone 17 years with our damn shitty Canadian weather and suddenly moves to a sauna zone? kid must be constantly dying#but enough rambling#reki#langa#renga#snowgear#lanreki#reki kyan#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#langa hasegawa#reki x langa#langa x reki#sk8#sk8 the infinity#lils writes#lils rambles#long post
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𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐏𝐞𝐭 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐
🍎Warnings: dark!peter parker, manipulation, innocent!reader, smut, triggering themes, oral (female receiving)
🍎Masterlist
🍎PART ONE
🍎A/N: Major trigger warning, I don’t condone actions like this, it’s fanfiction.
She was trapped in a spider’s web. Thankfully metaphorically, but it didn’t make the situation any better.
[y/n] was restless the night after the events that took place in her favorite teacher’s classroom. Tossing and turning as she found herself quite lonely in her bedroom.
Was this wrong? Was it worth it? What would someone say if they found out?
These questions floated around her head, hoping that maybe her thoughts would calm and she could at least get a little sleep before classes.
But then her alarm went off, and it set in that she would need to live on coffee and Five Hour Energy to keep her going and make her pay attention to her classes.
The day went by painfully slow. That was until her 6th period class. Mr. Parker’s class. And she purposely showed up when everybody else did, breaking her habit of arriving ten minutes early.
And Peter didn’t fail to notice.
Because little did [y/n] know that he was up all night as well. His thoughts were filled with nothing but her.
He didn’t fail to keep her eyes on him as he stood up in front of a room of rowdy college kids, his eyes training on her loose turtle neck, and pants.
She never wore pants, her usual outfit consisted of a skirt and knee high socks, usually with a matching sweater. He didn’t like the change of wardrobe.
Class continued as usual. But Peter’s thoughts filled with the events of the day before. How beautiful she looked on her knees. How she looked with her makeup spilling down her face, and her nude body perfectly prepped for what he had planned next.
It was then the Peter noticed he was beginning to get hard in his nether regions, and quickly dismissed the students to work and have a study hall, before sinking down at his desk, bright red but thankful that nobody saw.
Nobody accept one person, and she felt shameful for it, almost as red as her manipulator was.
She avoided eye contract with him the entire period, not wanting to catch his attention, and eventually the bell rang, her saving grace, as she rushed out of the room.
[y/n] felt sick. She didn’t want to go. She really didn’t want to go to his room after school, knowing that there was more to come. But as much as she hated it, she thought on it.
He said he wanted the best for her. And this was a learning opportunity with perks. As foreign as it felt, what he did to her felt... good. Not the last part, but the first part.
Nobody had touched her like that, not even her past boyfriends, who were almost just as clueless as she was. But Peter gave her something new. Something that she liked. Not to mention his praise did something to her that she liked. She wanted to hear him call her a good girl just one more time.
She took her sweet time, almost 20 minutes late to see him. She paused right as she got to the door. Was she really doing this? Was she inviting it?
But she needed a good grade on this paper. She really really wanted it.
And maybe, just maybe, a small piece of her wanted Peter.
When she opened the door, Peter immediately looked up, his leg bouncing up and down, a scowl on his face.
“You’re late.”
She looked down in guilt, hoping this didn’t anger him too much.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Parker, I had a family emergency, it was small, but everything is fine now...”
Her voice was barely audible as she spoke. But Peter seemed to be having none of it.
“I can’t have you being late, now can I? I might have to doc a few points from your grade...”
“No!” She started, and this was the loudest she had ever spoken to him, the threat working better than Peter had thought, “I’m sorry... sorry, I just... please, there has to be something I can do.”
“You’ll have to do an exceptionally good job today then. We need to start the next lesson.” Peter’s tone was laced with pretend disappointment, knowing it would seem authentic to his prey.
“Yes sir,” she muttered, setting her bag down and standing in front of him, sinking down to her knees, her hands folded in front of her, her eyes on the floor, preparing for what she thought was a recap of her most recent teachings.
Peter let out an amused laugh, proud that he taught her well. Fast learner, she was.
“Stand up, [y/n],” he put a finger under her chin, making her look up, “we’re going to try something different. It’s new, and I think you’ll like it.”
She began to stand up, grasping onto Peter’s hand as she stood. She was nervous, and she was starting to think twice on her decision to show up, but there was no going back now.
“I need you to sit on your desk, just like we did yesterday, alright?”
She nodded, sitting on the table of the desk before she folded her hands in front of her once again. It was a habit of hers, folding her hands, it gave her something to hold onto. Even if it was just herself.
He stepped closer, before he began to mess with the bottom of her sweater, “Never seen you in something like this before,” he muttered bitterly.
Part of him wanted to rip it off of her, destroying the modest sweater all together. But a shirtless girl walking out of his classroom could cost him his job.
He leaned over, close to her ear, sending goosebumps up her arms, “Strip.”
Peter stood back and watched as each piece of clothing found their way to the floor. She even did the honors of unhooking her bra. And soon her panties were off.
No matter how many times he would see her naked, it always felt like the first time. Amazed and in awe that even just for an evening, it was his.
“Now. What was something we learned yesterday?” He spoke, [y/n] shifted, her thighs now closed.
“Pleasure is key?” She tried, relieved at the gleeful smile that crossed her professor’s lips.
“Look at you,” he came closer, stroking her cheek, “such a fast learner. My brilliant girl,”
Even though the young woman knew what was about to come next, the praise gave her the pride to at least keep going a little while longer. Something to look forward to.
“Yesterday you gave me pleasure. You did a fantastic job. So now, it’s my turn to do it to you. But I’m also going to teach you how to do it yourself.”
Peter let his words sink in, [y/n] doing her best to understand, but no matter how hard she tried, the concept flew over her head.
“I’m going to take your hand, and I’m going to move it. I’m going to show you how to do it. Think of it like homework. Something to do while your away from me,”
Peter gently took her hand, bringing it to his lips before placing a kiss on her wrist.
This was fine, the naive nymphet thought to herself. She foolishly thought this lesson was easy.
But once she felt her hand go down her stomach, worry filled her thoughts once again, Peter’s voice an interruption.
“Have you ever touched yourself, [y/n]?” Peter pried, pausing her hand right at her clit.
She shook her head, no longer knowing how to speak. But secretly, she had tried once. Her friends (as a cruel joke on their pure friend) invested in a vibrator. But she she tried it, the buzzing only made her laugh, not being able to take it seriously. So now it sat in a box in her dorm’s closet, not being touched since then.
“Perfect.” Peter’s dreams were coming true. He knew she was pure. And he was going to show her. Help her. Have her. Even if it was just for a little while.
He positioned her hand, their pointer fingers now laced with each other.
“Start by rubbing right here...,” he instructed, rubbing her clit in soft circles, devouring the sounds of her gasps as she bit her lip.
“Hey, don’t be afraid to make noise. There’s nobody here.” He reassured.
Did he know this as a fact? No. But he would tell her anything to get her to make the sounds he had only daydreamed about.
This was when she let out a weak whimper as he applied a little more pressure. He did this for a few more seconds, Peter not failing to notice her cunt clenching around nothing. He loved her small noises.
But the whine when he took her hand away was music to his ears. It was angelic, heavenly. Everything he wanted.
“Hush,” he shushed her, “this next part you’ll like.”
She hated to admit it, but [y/n] wanted to see what was coming next. Anything to get the warm feeling on her clit again.
“It’ll be uncomfortable at first, but it will feel good after a while. Alright?”
“Mhm.”
Taking her middle and pointer finger, he positioned them. [y/n] looked up with wide eyes. Peter gave her a soft kiss on her forehead before inserting her fingers inside of her.
She whimpered at the sensation, the feeling almost alienated. It was new. It was strange. And it was very uncomfortable.
“Here, I’ll help you,” he lulled, pulling her hand slowly, her fingers slipping out, but he pushed them back in, her cunt swallowing them to the knuckle.
She let out a weak cry, the feeling of being stretched out, even by her own fingers, was scary.
“There you go, princess, just like that,” the professor muttered, continuing to guide his student.
This was a lesson he thought he should have taught her sooner.
The pace was slow and easy, but the feeling was overwhelming for the young girl. Peter then took it a step farther, pressing her palm up against her pearl and adding pressure, making sure her fingers were still moving inside her.
“That’s right. Rub that clit while you fuck your hand, that’s it...,”
Peter’s encouraging words made her melt, Peter then taking his hand off hers. But to his delight, she didn’t stop. She continued, loving the tightening in her core.
Her light moans were making Peter’s cock strain in his pants. Almost to the point of pain. Peter kicked the chair away from the desk, now standing behind her.
[y/n] was too lost in pleasure to register the sound of his belt and the unzipping from his slacks.
And the moment Peter’s cock sprung out, his hand wrapped around it, squeezing gently to relieve the pressure, his free arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her back to his chest.
This gave him perfect view of [y/n]’s finger working her pussy. He started in soft strokes, his eyes trained on her hand and the soft moans she was releasing.
He started going faster, thinking about what he wanted to do most. But that was a lesson for another day. But for now, all he had were her noises. His hand began going even faster, his head now dropping to the crook of her neck, his cheeks flushed.
“That’s right, my perfect girl, you’re doing fucking amazing, keep going, baby,” his words were muffled by the young woman’s skin, but was heard none the less.
Peter already knew that she was close, her signs apparent as she went faster, the coil that was tightening inside her feeling otherworldly.
But right as it she was at the edge, she slowed.
“Mr. Parker, I-I’m scared,” she whimpered, but Peter gave her a reassuring squeeze.
“It’s okay, keep going, your almost done, don’t stop, alright? I promise it’s worth it.”
And just like he knew she would, [y/n] obeyed, resuming the swift speed she had before, moaning at her own sudden change of pace.
Peter was on the edge. He was so close. So fucking close. He had to cum before her. He wanted to take in the sight that he couldn’t imagine if he tried.
And soon enough, he came, his cum dripping down his cock and spurting onto the girl’s back, grunting loudly, cursing at his peak.
His sounds is what set her off, [y/n] letting out a loud moan as she fell off the edge, her legs shaking as she experienced her first orgasm. But right as her hand stopped, Peter reached around with his cum-covered hand and violently rubbed her clit, his harsh movements making her yelp.
She felt the coil inside her tighten again, quicker this time.
“Come on, give me one more, I wanna make you give me one more.” He growled.
And right as she fell off, her vision went white, almost blacking out as her eyes rolled back in her head. Peter held her close as he spasmed and tensed, shaking almost to the point of vibration.
Peter’s mouth dropped open as she released, squirting all over the desk and the floor in front of the classroom. His hand was soaked, and his girl was close to crying.
He refused to stop there, moving away from behind her, picking her up and laying her down at the edge of his own desk, the dazed girl laying back as her bottom half hung over the ledge.
Before she could protest, Peter was already on his knees, her legs over his shoulders, diving into her pussy, licking up everything she gave.
This time it was overstimulating, but when she tried to get away, Peter pulled her right back. Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she tried to form words, her language slurred.
“S-Stop! Off!” Were the only words she could force out, but in response, Peter only licked quicker, inserting his own fingers in her cunt.
His stalky fingers shoved her open as she screamed in pain as he gave her no time to adjust before thrusting at a punishing pace.
“One more, baby, one more for me,” he growled against her folds.
And she did, her mouth opening as she let out a silent scream, forgetting how to breathe as her ears rang. Her thoughts were incoherent, mumbles of words seeping out of her mouth as she did her best to regain sanity.
But it was too much. It was all too much. And that’s all she remembered as darkness claimed her, her body no longer conscious.
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
When she regained consciousness, she found herself fully dressed, laying down on her professor’s desk. She struggled to sit up, her mind fuzzy.
Peter stood up from cleaning up her... mess, letting out a breath of relief.
“Fuck, you’re up, lost you for a second,” he rushed over, helping her stand. He reached over to a stray desk, picking up a glass of water along with Advil and a shot of electrolytes.
“Here, this should help you.” He helped her drink and take the pill, watching as she did so.
And of course, there was still one thing that she couldn’t get off her mind. The question that she was dying to ask.
“D-Did I do good?”
#tom holland series#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#dark!peter x reader#professor x student#dark!peter#peter parker smut
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“Look Back” - 140 Pages of Raw Emotion
Koyoharu Gotoge gets all the attention right now, but the real manga superstar of the future (or soon-to-be) is Tatsuki Fujimoto. His previous known works, Fire Punch and Chainsaw Man, have developed passionate followings. But his one-shot about creativity and the bonds that form as a result, Look Back, solidifies Fujimoto as one of the very best in depicting real human emotions during terrible moments.
Look Back focuses on the artistic journey of Ayumu Fujino, a 4th grader who loves to draw manga. She draws comic strips for her school newspaper. However, Fujino sees that a fellow peer of hers, Kyomoto, draws even better than her. Fujino becomes more determined to be better than Kyomoto. However, family and peer pressure causes Fujino to change her priorities during 6th grade. It isn’t until she is asked by school staff to deliver Kyomoto’s elementary school graduation diploma to the latter’s house that she gets back into drawing manga again. Fujino draws something on a blank 4-panel strip she finds at Kyomoto’s place. Kyomoto, who’s a shut-in, sees the strip and tells Fujino that she’s been a fan of her art since 4th grade. Fujino becomes ecstatic in seeing her work recognized after constant criticism from her peers. Fujino and Kyomoto begin to work together on manga since then. Both got recognized by Shueisha multiple times over the years to the point of having one of their works becoming an anime series.
Shortly after the anime announcement of one of their works, a rift between the two starts to happen when Kyomoto tells Fujino that she wants to go to art school to get better at drawing. Fujino argues that Kyomoto’s social aloofness is too much for the rest of the world and that it’s better for Kyomoto to stick by her. Kyotomo still goes to art school regardless. Years after their separation, Fujino watches the news one day and finds out that someone attacked the art school Kyomoto attended with multiple dead victims. Kyomoto was one of them. Fujino begins to criticize herself for Kyomoto’s death, but after visiting Kyomoto’s drawing space and seeing how much Kyomoto loved her, Fujino continues to draw as a way to move forward.
I can’t speak on the creative process of a mangaka and mangaka relationships (though I know several mangaka have commented on Look Back for its honest take of being a creator), but I can definitely comment on Fujino blaming herself for Kyomoto’s death. “Drawing is useless,” she says. Fujino imagines a scenario where she saves Kyomoto from her attacker. Fujino was once told by her older sister to practice karate and she feels that maybe she should’ve taken it more seriously. What if she didn’t draw that strip back in 6th grade? What if Fujino and Kyomoto actually met during the art school incident instead of 6th grade?
Those “What ifs?” get shown in vivid detail. And it’s heart-wrenching. There’s always constant reminders to treasure those around you because you never know what will happen. It’s hard to do that sometimes when certain cultures always avoid issues like death and the inevitability of it all like they’re not worth talking about. Also, I think we’re always told that we can save someone if we tried hard enough. If they never get better, society will say that it’s our fault. No one wants to talk about how random life gets. That’s because no one wants to admit that they can’t control everything.
The most powerful moment was Fujino realizing that drawing isn’t useless. She notices a small strip at Kyomoto’s place while in grief. This panel says it all.
It’s nice to have someone with the same interests as you be your friend. But more importantly, it’s even nicer to have someone who literally gives a shit about you. Someone’s who willing to guide you, take in your pain, and be vulnerable with. Fujino exposed Kyomoto to the outside world during their early mangaka days and Kyomoto expressed her gratitude for that. It’s so hard to find people like that. I mean, if you know you’re about to die, it’s worth knowing that at the very least, you met someone that loved you and got you to feel life was worth it, right? I often hear there are many people who don’t feel they’re truly being heard among their relationship circles. Their connections aren’t as deep as they would like.
What this also says is that if you’re working on something that almost always feels undervalued, there’s always someone out there who will tell you that they are inspired by your work. Maybe I can speak on this a bit. I sometimes feel that blogging is a drag given all the mass attention is going to other outlets. Like why write? Especially on a platform that’s been crapped on the past few years. I realize that this isn’t the case. There’s people who dislike “hot takes/clickbait tiles/news promoting discourse.” I think about what Roland Kelts said about anime discussion in this interview.
“What sucks is that the discourse on social media is so coarse. When you go back and read exchanges between diehard anime fans on Usenet and old chatrooms and forums from the mid-2000s, they read like middlebrow literature compared to what you see on Twitter, Reddit, and Discord. So many social media posts are made just to get hits, not to communicate or share ideas, and the most provocative, cruel, or just plain daft stuff gets liked and retweeted a thousand times.”
I feel that there’s still a place for me and if I can still communicate ideas worth thinking about, I’ll keep going as long as I can. Plus, trying to appeal to everyone feels like a trap because it sometimes requires sacrificing certain core values that you might hold dear. When I look at Fujino and Kyomoto, they held on to their core values and found solace in one another. Just find “good enough” people who are willing to love and respect you. I’m glad Look Back got published because finding bonds with other like-minded folks and developing very close relationships with them is sadly a rarity during these times. You also can’t put monetary worth on creativity that inspires people to do what they want to do and/or find reasons for living. Hobbies and creative ventures aren’t “side hustles/distractions” - they’re part of a universal cry to be human.
I think it’s safe to to say that we will really look back on this one-shot for years to come.
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