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puppyeared · 6 months

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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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cocoabubbelle · 1 year

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The boy

The girl he has a crush on

The girl with whom you actually wanted him to end up

HELP

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mercuriart · 8 months

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still going with my goal to redesign the fatui because i can't stop fixating on them but also holy shit do i not enjoy drawing their original designs.

today: scaramouche, because it annoys me to no end that he looks like a teenager when he's THE most 21 years old character in all of genshin. also why is he in shorts. what is the reason.

extra (preliminary/design exploration) sketches + bonus headcanons below the cut

he consciously hid the balljointed... joints... while trying to live with the humans, back then. stopped making the effort right after it all went wrong. they used to be purple (due to being made by the electro archon), now they're a faint blue/lilac.

the hat is meant to obscure his identity. i don't give a fuck why it's there in the canon design. he uses it to hide.

#genshin impact #fatui headcanons #genshin redesign #genshin fanart #scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #not adding anything more i had to look at his official art for like two minutes and am now angry again WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A CHILD #anyway i literally did this entire design to draw some extremely silly stuff lmao #art tag #clipstudio paint #digital art

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raeyhem · 11 months

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bloodhounds is really funny because. imagine some guy beats the shit out of you during a boxing match then you take him out to dinner and some months down the line you're living together wearing matching booty shorts and going on a ferry to Vietnam to catch a crime lord

#bloodhounds #I saw a post that said they get married in the first episode and the entire show is just their honeymoon #I agree #literally day two after meeting they were hanging out giggling kicking their feet #like what #I have many thoughts about this show #because I think a lot of aspects were handled pretty well and others were #piss poor dare I say #was confused for a solid few minutes every now and then but at least hyeon ju was there to serve #and boy did she serve

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maybe-arts · 10 months

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i was temporarily deceased for this month bc once again artfight time! skeleton war in july

not much attacks (i got derailed in the middle of month by sudden urge to redesign OC) but it's at least more than 2 years ago! (i accidentally missed last year so it doesn't count)

peeps i've attacked! (under read more)

@taojat-ornis - Ruff 'n' Tumble RayKid7 on Toyhou.se - Vee @konoa-t - Yumi and Reuben @terrabreak99 - Leaf Doomer @kachikirby - Kurabe, Freya and Sieg and final has Galaxia personification designs by ( clockwise from bottom left) @pruskita, @erythteria, @the-cactus-taco, @blueberryfruitbat, and @miniiieevee!

#kirby #kirby series #meta knight #galaxia #kirby oc #kirby fandom #meyine #little nova #those two are new ocs i haven't posted you'll see them later #other's oc #artfight #artfight 2023 #team werewolves #it did ended up with a couple of friendly fires but fuck it. borb go brrr #the last one was literally posted like. 40 minutes before event ended holy shit #and now i'm gonna go pass out i'm running on adrenaline at this point #maybeart #artists on tumblr #digital art

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tomeitwas · 9 months

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please play trouble comes twice by @foxglovegames it has:

hilarious twin dynamic

adorable cgs

adrian

everyone is bisexual

adrian

the MOST romantic route ever (jace and adrian)

best girl stephanie

literally such amazing bisexual rep

PLEASE JUST LOOK AT ADRIAN I LOVE HIM

#trouble comes twice #otome game #visual novel #fucking. please the minute i laid eyes on adrian he HAD to be mine #ive literally only played hazel x adrian jace x adrian and hazel x stephanie #but thats more than enough to rec. please play this game no one posts about it and its AHGVHGHGHG #also stephanie IS best girl i want to put her in my pocket #by the way. the last two routes i did today alone #play yhis game please or at least someone come YELL with me about it #thank u

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bookinit02 · 5 hours

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jeff bezos should just personally give me 10,000 dollars . it would be less than 0.000005% of his net worth.

#yes i did the calculation #and then i just stared at it for like 5 minutes because that is INSANE #literally why am i working 7 days a week to make 13-15 dollars an hour #that is one (1) trip to dunkin per hour #maybe two if i don’t get food.#actually fucking ridiculous. i hate capitalism

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miodiodavinci · 6 months

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laying down by a brook with one hand in the water like some kind of tragic prince , , , , , ,

#my break is now over and tomorrow resumes the final hell rush before the end of the semester #well i say break but in all honesty i spent 90% of it working or being so so scared for my car #i did get a little time to clean my room finally and turn into gelatinous ooze #though now i am The Slightest Bit Scared that i have gotten too oozelike and will not be able to fully reform into a functional being #in time to deal with The Horrors #(read: two intensely busy weeks on internship as i basically take over for my mentor all day)#(on top of the big portfolio assignment that my (project) partner Still Has Not Done Anything On)#like as long as i do my part i’ll get a B in the class no matter what but #aheem heem #my gpa that i worked so hard for….. i don’t want it to disappear…….#aaaaa it’s just hard to focus when i am so so tired and really just want like 5 solid days of No Thought Just Video Games And UTAU Dev #before getting back to my own big deadlines #i am looking at this document that i could probably write in 20 minutes but my brain is just. fried meat.#or more precisely i think i can get this done in an hour but Everything Else This Week?#i think i would have an easier time chewing shoe leather than getting my brain to do it all #if it weren’t for the fact that i would Literally go broke if i did not finish all this next semester #i would be soso tempted to take another semester off #only this time for my mental health………….

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5amanthus · 2 years

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Went shopping and had to get my gay old men.

They’re in love your honour.

#Halo #Master Chief #John-117 #The Arbiter #Thel 'Vadam #Master Chief/The Arbiter #John-117 x Thel 'Vadam #Yeah John has two guns but he needs at least one hand to hold Thel's #ALSO! They spelled Thel's name wrong on the box they put Thel 'Vdam #I pointed it out and my mom literally googled it to check if I was write #Like thanks mom but also I've written so much fanfic of these two #I KNOW HOW TO SPELL HIS NAME 😂#Also the limbs are so fucking hard to move I spent ten minutes posing them and trying to keep their hands together BUT I DID IT #I have them on my Among Us shelf cause I don't have any other display spots atm cause most of my shit is packed up to move some day

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nicoscheer · 2 months

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Dieser Mann ist der geborene Entertainer und eine Rampensau noch dazu. Die ersten Reihen liegen inm zu Füßen (we sure did). Mit Band wäre der Sound zwar intensiver, aber er selbst liefert auch alleine eine gute Show ab. Sehr kurz war es, aber auch kurzweilig. Einmal durch die Diskografie und zwei Covers. Das nächste Mal dann bitte Full Band statt One Man Band. Danke

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#26/03/2024 #miles kane #Berlin #that she is gonna kill me one of these days #the way he changed his outfit last minute #like two girls I met got a pic with him still in his black leather jacket before he decide that #surprise it was gonna be wayyy too hot for that and instead showed of his pretty new shirt sleeve red leather jacket #but boy did he sweat like you can literally see it flying off of him #and yeah to say he struggled a bit with the hood of the jacket and the guitar strap over and under it 😅🤣#Instagram

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porcupine-girl · 5 months

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Doing my best Veruca Salt impression: But I don’t WANT to spend YEARS learning a language, I want to understand goofy variety shows NOWWWWW!

#WHY DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH CELEBRITIES WHO DON’T EVEN SPEAK A GOD DAMN ROMANCE LANGUAGE?#THIS IS THE STUPIDEST WAY TO DO FANDOM ISTG #I AM LITERALLY JUST THROWING A HISSY FIT #BECAUSE I FOUND A TON OF CLIPS OF DA ZHANGWEI AND JOKER XUE BEING RIDICULOUS TOGETHER #AND I CAN ONKY UNDERSTAND ONE OUT OF EVERY TEN WORDS #to be fair if it were anyone else I would be closer to like idk 1 in 7 #but I had to pick the ones who talk a mile a minute #this is just NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR WHEN I STARTED DOING FANDOM 20 YEARS AGO #cpop #c ent #fandom life #pg irl #and I know literally two other people who love these two #and one of them is my sister #that’s the whole fandom #me my sister and tdkeh #I AM IN PAIN

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moregraceful · 9 months

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suffering through the heat death of the universe (new house has no air conditioning AND two floors AND i can't leave the house right this instant to get coconut water bc the dog finally stopped panicking and fell asleep (on my pillow)(help)), send me asks to ponder tomorrow while i unpack please

#how many 5 minute cold showers in one day is too many cold showers. asking for a me. i know we are in a drought #anyway i moved and it. sucked. moving sucks when you're single with no roommates did you know that #also my monstera is DYING HELLO. YOU GUYS SAID YOU WOULD TAKE CARE OF HIM WHILE I MOVED #YOU SAID YOU WOULD PUT HIM IN THE SUNNY CORNER WITH THE OTHER MONSTERA WHY IS HE IN THE MISERY CORNER #mom was like oh so we have katya the monstera (named after the trans woman she belonged to) we can name him kenneth :) no his name is elias #literally all i have left in this world are my monstera my two snake plants and my dog all of which are in various stages of disorder #if elias dies i will die. then you are left with my unkillable snake plants i named after former orioles during the pandemic. and my dog #thinking of getting another snake plant tho. i want a little one. i will name him adley. he will grow up big and strong. hopefully.#anyway send asks...morale is in the gutter. maybe tomorrow i will go apeshit in the safeway and buy a watermelon #fresno oilers.txt

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fleshwerks · 5 months

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