#i can’t fucking function if i know i’m being watched
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This is me trying not to have an anxiety attack because I have Swiftie friends monitoring my personal socials because I posted one critical thing about her.
#i can’t fucking function if i know i’m being watched#my anxiety has been through the roof#this is why i hate these types of fans
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i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill
#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc#and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’#it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time#it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed#so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand#so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward#but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed#AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away#how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc#but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots#because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free#anyway.#even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it#1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever#don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’#don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations#don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time#it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!!#but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for#idk. idk. it’s entitlement though#sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know#but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol#anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions#also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc#like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly#‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that#i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing#the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit#but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing#maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.
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all my fucking teachers are pitying me though???? like oh my fucking god i thought i wasn’t going to be that person anymore?? are you telling me that mental illness and physical illness and access concerns and low energy and motivation don’t go away when you move four hours away from home????
#my fucking linguistics teacher. is such a good person but i feel so fucking awful and hopeless#he emailed my academic advisor!!!! what is that supposed to mean he thinks i can’t do it#i missed class on wednesday because i was having combination flare-up and panic attack (where i feel sick and it makes me anxious and the#anxiety makes me sick and it keeps going in this evil cycle and i can’t make it stop)#everyone is out here four weeks into the semester saying ‘‘this isn’t like you’’ maybe it is though????#‘if my very existence is so fragile that i can only hold onto it three months out of the year am i allowed to make it define me??#am i allowed to say i’m not myself right now or is this the most myself i’ve ever been?#if i only look like myself from the right angle in the right lighting with the right frame of mind / maybe myself is not my self after all’’#^ shitty poetry i wrote in fucking 2020. here i am again. it just keeps coming back!!!!#i feel sick. every second i spend trying not to be so desperate and alone just leads to more lonely desperation just later??#you can’t just fill emptiness with limited human connection and expect it to stay filled when they leave???? unthinkable#why is my teacher saying my fucking name???? why is my teacher saying my fucking name i’m not fucking broken#like i feel like they’re putting me on suicide watch when i didn’t fucking do anything. oh my god there’s room inspection today#i’m in my bed sobbing there’s going to be fucking room inspection today#that’s fine. that will be fine. i’m going to class soon anyway. i dont know. it’s just. like everyone is trying to make me feel seen#but i don’t WANT to be seen i want it not to MATTER i don’t want to be identified as struggling!!!!#because first and foremost this is an issue of failing my classes. and i want to look away and pretend that’s not true#and everyone is watching me struggle and sending kind heartfelt messages. saying i just seem sad and distant#but im NOT and i WASNT and they don’t understand that i’m just fucking like this!!!! i’m not failing because i’m depressed i wasnt depressed#until i started failing. they think that if i can push away the feelings there’s a functional human being underneath#‘‘i found you on the floor like you wanted to / now i thought you wanted more is this all that you could be????’’#im so caught on how he was using my name. what the fuck is that about. it wasn’t in a normal way it was apposition. it was manufactured#‘‘sorry you’ve been under the weather [comma] arthur [comma] but glad you’ll be in class. just let me know if i can help’’#i dont know. am i the only person who feels like it’s talking-to-depressed-people-101?? Remember To Make Them Feel Human. Give Them Identity#Say Their Name so they know anybody fucking cares. i know i sound fucking insane right now i’m sorry#my only real friend here is out of town this weekend. i just feel lonely and isolated with no way to break out of it#crazy idea you guys maybe i shouldn’t be in the fucking honors program if i’m like this already. four fucking weeks in#i dont know. i just feel really upset and strange and broken and everywhere at once. i hope everyone is okay#vent cw#friends only
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CONJUGAL VISIT w/jujutsu Kiasen
Description: in which an inmate of a prison or jail is permitted to spend several hours or days in private with a visitors
More: Fem!Reader, explicit content, unprotected sex, some d/s dynamics with Toji, American prison system? (idk if other countries allow this lol?)
☾ Ryomen Sukuna
He's been in solitary for so long that you start to think you'll never see him again. He finally fixes his attitude enough to come in contact with others and eventually gets some visitation rights. Get used to having sex with him here because the guards inform you he isn't leaving for a long time.
“s’too much Kuna!” You whine into the flat pillow but your boyfriend Sukuna could care less and keeps pounding into you from behind.
“Think I care slut? Been away from this pussy for months now, shut up and take what I give you.” He grits out, pushing deeper into your back with one hand, fisting your hair with the other. He’d be damned if you tell him what to do after all this time away. Do you know how spineless he had to act in order to get this visit, on his ‘best behavior’, desperate to finally be able to sink in some cunt after being surrounded by irrelevant men and guards with their heads up their asses?
“Feels s’good,” you moan when Sukuna hits your special spot. “I’m gonna cum!”
“That fast slut, it hasn't even been ten minutes” He chuckles, leaning down to bite your shoulder.
“Missed you, ‘Kuna, c-cant cum ‘out you.”
“Can’t do shit without me, bet you can’t even function out there without me,” He groans in your hair, you don't understand half of what he’s saying you just nod mindlessly and slam your hips back on his cock.
“Then cum on my cock, whore.”
☾ Gojo Satoru
He's on a mission that requires him to go to jail. The prison warden is in on it, but that doesn't mean your boyfriend doesn't want to experience the "real deal." He convinces the warden to allow him weekly fuck sessions because he says he can't complete the mission without them.
“i-Im gonna cum ‘Toru!” you whine aloud, to far gone to be embarrassed that your boyfriend is fucking you on scratchy sheets in a bed that probably hasn’t been thoroughly cleaned in years or the fact that multiple other girls have probably been in the same position you’re in with other inmates, on the same bed.
“So tight love, haven't you been using your dildos in my absence?’ he questions as he thrusts into your glistening cunt. Watching as you throw your head back, tears running down your cheeks.
“They’re too small ‘Toru!” You wrap your legs around his hard ass trying to get him as deep as he can.
“Aww, they can't make you cum as hard as I can, can they love?” he pouts against your swollen lips. You shake your head furiously, listening to the sounds your squelching cunt makes when he thrust back in, his balls slapping hard against your ass.
“Think i'll ask if I can get out early on good behavior. I can't leave my girl unsatisfied now.” He chuckles before diving his tongue into your mouth.
☾ Toji Fushiguro
Your mans got locked up again! This isn't the first time, nor will it be the last. You don’t know how he convinces the guards to allow you to visit time and time again, but you won't complain. You always miss him when he's gone every few months. The guard just sighs when he sees you’re here for visitation again
“You miss me, little girl?” he grins, sticking thick fingers in your already sopping cunt. “You know I always miss you when you’re gone, daddy.” You gasp, your back hitting the cold concrete wall behind you when Toji curls into your g-spot.
“So so bad.” you whine, grinding your aching clit on his hard stomach, legs tightening around his slim waist when you find the perfect spot.
“You wanna cum little girl?” he asks while marking up your neck. He needs others to know you’re taken and if he can't be around you at the moment he’ll make it known another way.
“Yes Toji!” You scream.
“Yes what?” He stops his fingers.
“Yes daddy,” you whisper, moving your hips desperate to not lose the orgasm you were chasing. “Please make me come daddy, please!”
“That's what I thought little girl” He says before continuing his movements and biting down on your heavy bottom lip.
☾ Choso Kamo
Too ashamed that he ended up in prison to allow you to visit him for a while. After much reassurance from you that you don’t look at him differently he finally comes out of his shell and makes friends. Get’s out early on good behavior.
“You think someones watching?” You mumble, looking back at the camera in the corner of the dark lit room.
“F-fuck baby, don’t fuckin’ stop,” Choso whines, gripping your waist, trying to make you bounce on his stiff cock. ‘Who cares if they are, baby? They won’t touch.”
You turn back around and grin down at your boyfriend “mmm, isn't that how you got in here in the first place Choso, beating up a man for touching me?” You start grinding on his cock again.
“Do anything for you, baby.” He moans gripping your waist when your tight walls start squeezing down on him, trying hard not to bust a nut so quickly.
“Yeah,” you moan out, feeling his cock twitch in you. “Now you’re stuck in here for months away from me.” You pout and claw at his chest when Choso starts to bounce you on his cock. God, if only he didn’t beat that man up you’d have this every night.
“Worth it.” He looks up at the camera, imagining the security guard looking down at your ass recoil when he slams you down on his cock
#𐙚 ࣪ ˖ sugume writes#𐙚 ࣪ ˖ smut journal#jjk#smut#anime#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji smut#choso kamo#choso x reader#choso smut#ryomen sukuna#x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#sukuna smut#sukuna scenarios
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Dp x Dc au: Normal is Good
Okay so hear me out— i see lots of “you can’t control Danny he’s a wild child” premises and like, I agree, I love that, but JUST hear me out. Danny who is just entranced by being treated like a NORMAL KID.
I think for best results this should be done with de-aged Danny so he’s a bit younger, but it can def work with regular Danny too.
Danny winds up running around Gotham for one reason or another doing INSANE SHIT to try and help or just survive and his family is out of the way. The explosion, Bad Fentons, etc— and one of the bats picks up Danny. This can be a dad!Jason, or dad!Dick, or classic Bruce Adoption. But they see this little shit running around and are like “no fucking way, not on my watch you little maniac”
Now, a lot of people use the “Jazz practically raised Danny” card, and I love that card and fully support it, but she was also a kid. With no other parents to consult. Who was raised by the Fentons originally and def has no clue what normal parents are like. So she probably didn’t exactly measure up to how a kid is MEANT to be raised. So Danny still had an incredibly strange childhood that just was Not Normal, but I feel like we see Danny with a deep desire to be normal. He doesn’t even really like being a superhero that much, he just wanted to be a kid.
So he gets bat adopted, and Danny is just functioning how he did growing up with the Fentons, which is No Restrictions Do What You Want. And then his bat dad (using Jason for this) is like “No. It’s Bed Time.” And Danny. Danny is ALL for that. He’s bewildered. Mystified. He’s not grumpy about being told what to do at ALL, because he’s just so shocked.
“You’re serious? You’re fucking dead-ass serious? It’s bed time? Oh my god this is so cool. I’ve never had a bed time before! This is great!” Because this is the first time he’s EVER been treated like a normal child by a parental figure. He just got sent to bed. Wow.
Having a parent who is in charge of keeping him healthy and actually enforces Danny taking care of himself is kind of cool.
“Eat your vegetables, they’re good for you.” And they won’t try to eat him back? Fuck yeah, he’ll eat his vegetables!
“No you aren’t allowed to go out at 2 in the morning, go back to bed, you have a doctors appointment for your yearly checkup tomorrow.” oh ancients, Danny has always heard other kids complain about not being allowed out at night, but to have himself told he can’t? This is so weird. And he’s never been to a yearly check up before!
“Brush your teeth before bed” “I can’t get cavities, I’m dead!” “Ya know, for some reason I don’t believe you. When was the last time you went to the dentist? Are you sure you can’t get them?” Danny has 7 cavities.
The first time Danny gets to actually use the “my dad said No” excuse, he is ECSTATIC. Jack and Maddie have LITERALLY never told him he can’t go out somewhere. Ever. He’s in a whole new world where he doesn’t have to fight ghosts, or be a hero, or anything and he loves it. He has a normal kids room without deadly weapons in it and normal kid hobbies and a fridge full of normal food and a parent who enforces a bed time, and it’s weird as hell and it’s great. Normal is pretty damn good, he has no clue what Sam and Tucker were always complaining about. Shits sweet.
#Danny is accidentally the best behaved child in Wayne Manor#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp fic#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc prompt#danny phantom#danny phantom x dc#fic prompt
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kinktober • day two
kink: office sex
character: nanami kento
show : Jujutsu Kaisen
fic type: drabble ( wc: 1.2K)
content warning + themes: choking (he uses his tie), spit play, missionary, squirting, daddy’s used a couple times, infidelity, hint of toxic nanamin
───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰──── ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡
“K-Kent—I’m gonna come if you don’t stop! I’ll make a mess..ruin all of the newest reports.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, sweetheart..but is that not the point? Besides..it’s nothing we can’t fix.”
the type of banter that one would ever expect to be partaken during such a sexy, intimate moment. It was a scene akin to something from a movie or a corny, cliche porno. Alas though, it was your reality..back pressed to the pinewood desk, legs hiked up midair and three fingers hooked inside of your cheek. Being thrashed around on the base of your boss’ cock. Sharp thrusts being fed to your fertile little cunt…making a mess would have been quite the understatement at this point. A blanket like sheath and strings of your creamy arousal dripping all over his shaft. Honestly, he was the only man who could ever invoke such a reaction from you.
“Tell me though, my dear?..Can he make you do this? Hmm..has that boyfriend of yours ever made you come like this? You’re so turned on right now…” it was a fact that CEO and your secret fling, Nanami Kento was quite proud of. Holding you up after hours, long after the remainder of the staff had dissipated and gone home. Using the guise of some ‘special assignment’ that he only entrusted in your hands to have you squirting all over him. “We—really shouldn’t be doing this!—ahh fuck! It’s so wrong.” The words flowed from your mouth yet they meant nothing. Not when your body was singing an entirely different tune. One where you were writhing underneath him and sloshing around in your own slick. Having ripped your top open, Kento glared vehemently as your ample breasts bounced around, crashing against each other. In truth, there was nothing your sorry ass excuse of a man..if he could even be called one, could do with you. A woman of your pedigree deserved nothing but the best in every single aspect, including dick. You had been employed here for three years and not once had he ever seen that asshole bringing you lunch or flowers. But rather, aggravation and headaches about some girl he had been messing around with or how he had taken your car whilst you were out working. It utterly repulsed him! So he was going to vet every bit of his frustrations by fucking you senseless..
“But it feels so…fucking right? Wouldn’t you agree, sweetheart? I mean, it surely seems like you do with the way you’re squeezing my dick.”
for all the days that he had watched you strut about throughout the office halls, wearing something far too revealing and rousing..all the nights he had dreamt of getting you alone and letting his tongue trail up your thighs as he teased that soaking center. Knowing the sheer anticipation alone had you turned on; waiting for him to peel back those panties and letting that sticky layer of arousal be exposed to the cool elements. Watching those nipples stiffen up as he pinched them between his fingertips…taking all of the time in the world to pleasure you. Which luckily came to fruition tonight. He had you panting like a little dog in heat, salivating and falling all over yourself..having already invoked one orgasm, he was hoping to produce so many, you’d barely be able to function. Wielding that dark tan tie that had cheetah print littering the material, Kento fastened the grip around his knuckles, tugging tighter as to slightly restrict your air. Being choked definitely turned you on more than you’d care to let on. Also, it would keep you reigned in, just in case you decided to run from the dick!..
“Tell the truth. He can’t get you this wet. Now can he? I’m the only one that can, right? This is the type of fucking you deserve, isn’t it?” Questioning with gentle coos as he slid a thumb between your lips to suckle on. Those innocent looking eyes glaring right up at him. Feeding you a soft slap to the cheek, Kento posed the question once more before ramming his cock deeper. “Y-yes, daddy.” Evoking a smirk and earning yourself a sloppy kiss as he placed a hand to the center of your stomach. “Thaaat’s my good girl. Now you just keep coming on this dick. That’s your only job right now, understand?” To which you’d nod, reassuring him you’d do as he said. Those quivering legs rested atop his shoulder blades, ankles laced with gentle pecks to assist in calming you down. When he’d notice your gaze starting to falter and your head falling backwards, Kento made haste in snatching it back up before hooking your jaws with two fingers.
“Hey, eyes up here, sweetheart. I didn’t give you permission to look away. Focus on this dick, nothing else.” Which was all but inevitable as that swollen appendage pounded into you. Hitting that sensitive core each time he thrusted in and out. A thick coat of pearlescent cream slathered over all that shaft, it was such a delectable sight. But Kento was a little greedy, egotistical if you will. He couldn’t let up until he saw you convulsing. Which wasn’t too far off base because once he hooked your jaw, you’d begin to pant as he sped up that heavy pounding. Not letting up until he felt that pussy tightening around him and clutching as if you didn’t want him to pull out..
“Kent!—I'm gonna come..”
“Ah..not yet. There’s one more thing I need.”
coiling your fingers together, Kento leaned down and gently brushed the top of your forehead before marking it with a kiss. “Tell me you love me..right now. Say it..” full and we’ll aware of the fact that you were already cheating but telling another man you loved him, only to turn around and be forced to go home and say it to your boyfriend was nothing more than a slap in the face. Even so, the immense pleasure and intensity of the moment had taken its toll on you so with his thumb caressing your cheek, you’d utter the fateful phrase:
“I love you, Kento.” Bringing a devious grin of sheer satisfaction to his face. With that, he’d prompt you to release and suddenly, a shower of sticky rain splattered his tan suit and blue button down that had been halfway undone. A sight he’d never grow tired of. Only to give you his load in return right after. You’d meet in a haze of passionate kisses to center you from those climatic highs. You’d stay like that for a few minutes; limbs entangled and lips crashing together…finally pulling away, you’d begin to chuckle, completely overtaken by bliss. Patting your asscheek with a gentle slap, he’d usher you up with his opposite hand to help you gather your bearings.
“Hey, let’s get out of here. The cleaning crew will be coming in a little while.” Informing you as he buttoned that shirt back up and fastened his pants. But whilst you were getting re-dressed, making the best attempt you could to make yourself look presentable and not as if you had just gotten ravaged by your boss, it was then that a familiar contact would appear across the screen of your iPhone..
Satoru 💍
you felt a sinking sensation in the out of your stomach, a combination of guilt and anxiety lingering but it didn’t matter. Because as far as you were concerned, the only man who could satisfy you was right here.
#kinktober#jujutsu kaisen#nanami kento#nanami x black!reader#nanami x reader#nanami smut#jjk smut#jjk drabbles#jjk x black reader#jjk imagines#nanami jjk#jjk nanami#jujutsu nanami#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen drabbles#jujutsu kaisen imagines#black fem reader#jujutsu kaisen nanami#satoru gojo#cw infidelity#cw spit#cw choking#jjk gojo
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Having the worst time currently with sensory issues, anxiety, OCD, depression, long COVID, all of it. On top of that I’ve got autistic burnout and I can’t soothe it bc I can’t do any of the things I like without careful calculation on how that would annoy someone or I wouldn’t do some chore instead or the mental block keeping me from doing anything other than forcing myself to do absolutely anything even while I really REALLY want to and I can feel it all slipping away the longer I don’t do it and it makes me so damn depressed
#vent#i can’t even mindlessly watch a video. i randomly pause and just sit there in misery???#how do I fucking fix this I hate it#I have ideas I can’t fucking get out#things I wanna talk about but my language center hates me so I only have half the idea and no one can meet me halfway#bc I don’t make any fucking sense#I love art I like creating things but after so long viewing it as getting in the way of being independent#coming back to it knowing it’s actually the future I wanted and I wasted my time losing skill I have to work back to that I should have had#it’s so fuckin upsetting and stressful#and my body is just. deteriorating#I’ll bet walking outside would help but I hate my neighborhood and I can’t drive to get away from it#and also I can’t just. act independently that would cause drama bc I have to be mindful of what everyone else wants me to do#and if I disappoint them I feel like shit#I have a problem that is not medicated I know I do there’s got to be something that helps with this#I have like ZERO executive function rn and I’m oscillating between super frustrated and then#relieved that I don’t have to hurt my body for work anymore#but my brain just. atrophied over the time I spent surviving and idk if I have the strength to pull myself back up on my own?#which is terrifying and I hope it’s not true I want to have that strength#I want to get back to where I was so I can move forward instead of just barely treading water#i need something to help me focus but I don’t think adderal is what I need#I got prescribed it for a bit but I’m not sure if it was making me function normally or if I just saw it that way from a mild high#I definitely don’t need to be anymore lethargic than I already am#my eye lids keep fucking twitching idk if that has something to do with it but only started after I finally quit my job#i feel like I need a place I’m just alone free of outside stimulation only the things I want to feel or see#and time to just tunnel myself into creating something and come back out of it after it’s run it’s course#I need horse blinders or something and a work table and a bunch of inspiring stuff to look through#and then to just make something by myself without worrying about time
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Idk if you’re taking commissions rn but if you are.. Can you do one where reader acts as Ghosts weighted blanket after an anxiety attack? I feel like he’d love that xx
I’m glad you asked for the reader to act as Ghost’s weighted blanket instead of the other way around because that would be like being flattened by a road roller. Also, it is good to note that anxiety attacks are not the same as panic attacks. Yes, they do have some similarities, but they differ. This story is about Ghost having an anxiety attack, so bear that in mind.
And let’s be clear here: he would never explicitly ask you to do such a thing.
Never.
In fact, he would never ask you to do anything that would need you to be physically attached to him, neither from the front nor back. And his anxiety, if he ever suffers from it—which I’m sure he does because, come on, who doesn’t in our times, plus it is mentioned in the comics—he can cover it pretty well.
But it takes one to know one, right? You’ve had your fair share of anxiety attacks; you know they are not sudden or obvious. Instead, they develop slowly, gradually. That sense of general unease lingers, haunting him for weeks, even months. He doesn’t start trembling or shaking out of nowhere. This one is subtle but constant, like a leaky faucet that drips every few seconds. He feels restless and triggered by something vague that he can’t understand himself. All. The. Time.
He knows what a panic attack is; he experienced it multiple times before, mainly due to the nature of his work. But an anxiety attack? To a soldier who associated the word “attack” with something swift, sudden and imminent? There’s no such thing as an anxiety attack to him.
No.
He doesn’t comprehend this constant need to stay in control, why he’s always tense, his inability to take a full, deep breath. To him, that’s just how his body functions. Relaxation has been a foreign concept since childhood, so he’s normalised it. And he learned how to bear these symptoms instead of understanding what triggers them and learning how to alleviate them.
You’ve observed the pattern; he tends to become like that a few months before a mission, so you were able to put one and one together.
And one day, you find him lying face-down on the bed. Something prompts you, and you crawl on top of him. He shifts and asks you, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing”. Maybe he even tries to stand up while you are on his back, and you ask him to trust you; he’ll see.
He’s hesitant but obeys, though he’s more alert than ever now. You settle on top of him; he feels like he’s carved from wood, but not because of his physique. He’s tense. Stiff. Rigid. He’s afraid to let go. He holds his breath. His palms are pressed into the mattress beside his chest, ready to spring into a burpee and launch you back to where you came from.
Yet he doesn’t do it. Slowly his muscles relax under your body, and you feel him gradually—though clumsily—release tension in each body part; his legs, back, and then his shoulders. He finally lets go of the breath he’s been holding, replaced by a long exhale, his first in months. He places his hands on the sides of his body and lets out a repressed chuckle.
You ask him why he’s laughing, and he asks you to turn your face away because you are breathing into his ear. You comply.
With you not watching, he can finally close his eyes now. Good.
But even Ghost can take so much weight. Or so much intimacy. After a while, he snaps out of it, and he wriggles out from under you, letting you fall on the mattress, muttering a brief “Enough.” He doesn’t thank you for anything. What did you really do? Yes, he feels a little lighter, and his mind is clearer, but all you did was rest on him. That’s all. No need to thank you for that.
He needs it, though. Again and again. No, he doesn’t need you, of course. No, silly. He craves that sensation again—letting go. So whenever he feels overwhelmed, he awkwardly gestures toward his back and asks you sternly to “do that thing”. And you try to suppress your laughter and obey his command.
And slowly, just like his anxiety attacks come and go, he realises that it’s not just your weight on top of him that soothes him. It’s you, your will to make him feel better, your heart beating against his back, your form attached to him that makes all this chaos in the world feel a little bit more manageable than before.
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x gn!reader#simon ghost riley x y/n#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley fic#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon riley x reader#simon riley x y/n#simon riley x you#simon riley#call of duty#ghost cod#cod ghost#ghost cod mw2#modern warfare 2#cod mwii#ghost cod mwii
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Sorry to be posting about KOSA again, I dislike getting involved in politics, but as a queer minor on the internet this is the one time i will.
I had a theory a while back that i considered withholding because it’s honestly really upsetting to think about. Realizing that it could even be a possibility hurt, and i’m sorry if it hurts you too.
I’ll keep it short. What if the governors who are trying to pass these bills know that cutting LGBTQ+ kids from information WILL encourage them to commit suicide, and they’re doing it to cleanse the “filth”? They’d have to find a roundabout way to end LGBTQ+’s future because they can’t just outright kill them.
I don’t know if it’s true, but it feels like it’d be pretty on-brand. Nevertheless, encouraging minors to off themselves in any way is RANCID, and even if they are trying to protect kids this is a shitty way to do that.
So how do we ACTUALLY keep minors safe on the internet?
TEACH THEM SHIT. Talk to them about how grooming happens, how to avoid getting into dangerous or illegal situations, how to be FUCKING KIND and MINDFUL, both because people are inclined to retaliate against rude comments even if they’re from children and because it’s just good to know how to be polite.
Wiping LGBTQ+ off the internet isn’t going to protect kids from a made-up threat of queer people brainwashing them into being gay. LGBTQ+ media isn’t going to make them gay either, because we grew up watching content with typical straight relationships and we still know who we are.
You know what i’ve seen firsthand? A little boy pretending to be trans like his big sibling. But that was okay, because at the end of the day he knew who he was.
Why do they think kids have no sense of their identity, and the notion that people can change their gender will immediately make them trans too? What significant damage will that do? Minors aren’t really allowed to get gender changing surgery besides puberty blockers so they can’t worry about kids “destroying” their bodies, and if they’re a functioning member of society then I don’t see the problem?? Maybe capitalism would benefit from accessible gender affirming care. Just sayin. More cash being circulated is better than a bunch of dead bodies :/
#fletchposting#lgbgtq#kosa bill#stop kosa#bad internet bills#kids online safety act#stop kids online safety act#internet censorship#kosa#trans#transgender#trans pride#fuck kosa
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romanticism. charles leclerc
“ being charles leclerc’s assistant was a piece of work. you loved him though. ”
charles leclerc x reader
a warning — crude language, mentions of food, alcohol consumption, semi-mature scenes.
word count: 2.8k
“Do you want a biscuit?” He pointed to the box of red, racing-themed biscuits, mouth already full with one. “Please don’t tell anyone.” He added as an afterthought, and you snorted to yourself, setting down a notebook to take a gingerbread man decorated as him.
The instagram handle for the baker was loud and proud on the box, and you took a photo of the little Charles, making a note to post it later.
Qualifying hadn’t gone very well for Charles, hence the angry biscuit-eating. He’d ended up third, but an incident in the famous tunnel of the Principality had cost him three more places. His white suit was blinding in the tiny room, and his frustrated little huffs as he flung things this way and that made you slightly on edge.
You had been scrambling to catch up with him this season; you had been dealing with a family crisis until Miami, leaving Charles with some guy as his assistant for the past races. You had thought he was decent at first, but Charles was a precise guy; if he was relying on you to keep it together at work for him, then you’d better fucking do it the way he wanted. Even you didn’t mess with Charles on a race weekend. He was so nervous or upset or he was the happiest guy in the world - it didn’t matter, you just had to be consistent, comforting and take things as they went.
You swore he could’ve kissed you when you arrived on Monday.
But here you were on Saturday, still uneasy; Monaco had always freaked you out - you didn’t believe in the curse because Charles scorned it, but a part of you had anticipated that a stroke of bad luck would always have its way here. It was nine in the evening, and the crowds were still insane. You were prepared to walk back to your apartment at this point, even if it would take you about an hour with the blocked off roads. You handed Charles his clean clothes to change into after his shower, and you were about to go home for the night -
“Do you want to have dinner with me?”
You tilted your head. You knew Charles’ new girlfriend had arrived this morning, surely he’d do something with her?
He must’ve seen the look on your face, and his unsureness- the way he couldn’t believe what he were saying- made you embarrassed.
“No, it’s alright. Get a good night’s sleep. I’ll struggle to get back to mine anyway.” You said abruptly. “Must I make you an Instagram post while you’re in the shower?”
He nodded, unlocking his phone. You immediately went into Google Drive to get some pictures as he left, when a message from Alexandra came in.
You blanched; usually, bar your forgetfulness, you put the phone on the do not disturb function so that you didn’t see what he was getting sent- but the full stops and seriousness made you guiltily keep a finger on the notification.
You’re being ridiculous. I can’t give up my job to come cheer you on. I know it’s Monaco but I thought I made it clear. I can’t make it after all, C. My job is equally as important as yours. You’ll be fine.
You inhaled sharply; she was pissed. You thought she was reasonable, but you knew how much it meant to him to have people here; he struggled in Monaco, and even if he didn’t admit it he was so anxious to please.
I’m sure she’ll have a little fuckin hug and a kiss for you. I’m not a cheerleader, that’s her job, Charles. Watch her under the podium instead. Or maybe not after all- I saw you got P6
Talk tomorrow
Your eyes widened. Was she talking about you?
You were being too nosy. You selected the pictures and put them together, locking his phone on the caption section so he’d write what he’d like. As you opened the door to leave, he was there, his eyes meeting yours; and he must’ve known that you knew something because he lowered his gaze.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said quietly, patting his arm. “Sleep well.”
There was a desperation in his tone when he asked you again to supper.
Well, how the fuck could you say no? He was clearly desperate.
“I’ll invite Joris and Lorenzo, and Arthur.” He said quickly, and you sighed; “The usual?” It was a little tapas restaurant 15 minutes away.
You closed the door then, confused, and walked away, opening your phone to call Joris for a lift.
❤️🔥💿💌🍓
You were in the front seat surrounded by the familiar smell of Joris’ car; you two had become good friends- always together, waiting, working because of Charles.
You were busy typing about the gingerbread man when Joris asked you about the lack of Alex (Charles had probably been talking about her first Grand Prix together with him).
You paused. “They seem to be having some sort of rift. Not sure. Ask him.” You said shortly; you tried to stay out of his love life as much as you could. You’d liked his previous girlfriend to an extent, but the final events leading up to their breakup made it awkward for you to say goodbye. You tried desperately to be professional but at that point you were a really close friend of Charles’.
Joris nodded. You two did enjoy a paddock gossip now and again, but when it involved Charles alone you really weren’t into it.
You ended up taking longer to get to the restaurant because you made him stop at your house - you weren’t going to turn up in Ferrari gear - and showered, put new clothes on and sprinted back to his car in the drizzle.
Walking through the restaurant to your table in the corner, Joris was busy chattering on about the home GP content he was busy with; you were fiddling with your hair, your bracelets, your clothes, irritated to be there. Trying to be normal around Charles in non-work situations like he didn’t fucking employ you always stressed you out.
Not to mention he was being so awkward as of late.
You slid into the bench next to Lorenzo, giving him a warm pat on the arm as Joris sat on your other side. Charles was smiling at the sight of you - you greeted Arthur, and then him, and you were presented with some iced tea (no one drank next to Charles on a Saturday before the race).
You were lost in the conversation between Arthur and Charles (Arthur hadn’t done so well in F2 today either) when Lorenzo caught your attention.
“How are you?” You adored the way he spoke French; it was low and comfortable, in the kind of way that reminded you of a warm hug.
“Alright.” You said, giggling, and he nodded seriously. He knew about your stress - he’d never raced as intensely as his two brothers - and you’d always found him a comfort.
He was busy telling you about something - a trip with his girlfriend - when you heard the distress in Charles’ tone and turned to him. He was staring at the paella in front of him.
Joris was silent; Arthur just looked lost.
“What’s wrong?” You said quietly, and you noticed a few stubborn tears in his eyes that he was dying not to let fall.
“I’m just not feeling good about the race.” His tone was terribly melancholic, and you felt a bit frozen. “I- Cha-“
Lorenzo was stiff; you blinked.
Charles sat up straight. “It’s okay. Sorry.” His tone indicated no more talking about it, and Joris launched into a conversation about something, Arthur hurriedly joining in. You made eye contact with him sternly; we were talking about this later.
❤️🔥💿💌🍓
Supper had come and gone, the bill had been paid, and you found yourself alone in Charles’ car at 10:53 pm on the way back to your apartment.
“Please come in.” You had said to him, after he refused to go home immediately to sleep; promising a cup of tea before he got home.
You had dropped your keys by the front door and entered, your cat greeting the two of you. “What’s wrong?” You said, starting the kettle with a tenderness in your tone you could never replicate with anyone else.
Charles was just sighing, complaining, choking with emotion as he spoke of his fears - dear God, he was struggling - you poured milk and sugar, biting a lip, and eventually it became too much that you brought him in for a tight hug in the light of your kitchen, a song playing in the corner.
You pulled away, and to your surprise he was looking into your eyes softly, a gentleness in his expression that freaked you out. You felt your body soften as his hand met your hip, and you knew, despite yourself, you could never refuse him.
“Cha…” you murmured, gaze on his lips. Holy shit, this was so wrong.
He let out a little sigh that had you going insane, and you turned around to fetch the tea, overwhelmed; this was the only way you could prevent whatever what was happening, not happen.
He murmured your name again, and you turned around slowly, guiltily watching his beautiful face, certain feelings you’d suffocated return just like that.
His hand met your arm, gentle pressure prompting you to put the tea down. You gasped quietly as his hand on your hip brought you together, eyes wide and wanting.
He met your lips with his, and it was like a wildfire that burned, bright and haunting, kissing you everywhere, his touch burning, thigh in between your legs, arms and hands touching you everywhere, you were gasping and he was moaning, the desire in the air thick, scary, and his facial hair tickled you in a delicious way that made you shiver, eyes lidded, dark, and suddenly he was moving to take his shirt off and you stepped back, terrified, lonely.
“Charles, you have a girlfriend.” You said lowly, hair messy. You noticed your lipstick all over his lips and face.
He looked scared of himself. “Fuck. I have to go. I need to sleep.”
“And talk to Alex.” You said, scaring yourself with the heaviness of your tone, and he was gathering his things, tea forgotten.
When he left, you waved him out, mouth wobbling, and you burst into tears after closing the door, clutching your mouth, your sobs shaking you, sinking down to the floor.
❤️🔥💿💌🍓
You’d agreed to lift Joris the previous night, so you were glad to ditch seeing Charles until you really had to - an hour later, you walked into his driver’s room; he was doing some exercises with Andrea while the social media intern videoed him. You stayed out of sight of the camera, leaning against the wall, trying to distract yourself from the previous night’s events.
You were wearing more makeup than usual to hide your puffy eyes from the tears last night, determined to act as if nothing had happened. You really hated that Charles had cheated on his girlfriend with you; you could put it down to him being vulnerable, but you were at fault as much as he was.
When everyone had left, Charles was left on the couch staring sheepishly at you. You crossed your arms, an invisible ocean separating you two, you two continents.
“I told Alex.” He said calmly.
“And?”
“She said she can’t be with me if I’m not being faithful and she’s not there all the time. We’ve only been together three months. She’s not into it.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It was my fault. I made a move when I wasn’t meant to. I’m sorry for putting you in that position.”
From the way he was moaning yesterday, you weren’t sure if that was true.
“Okay.” You snort, moving to open the door. “Driver’s parade in 20 minutes. I’ll see you later?”
He nodded, waving a goodbye as you left.
❤️🔥💿💌🍓
P6, like he started.
It was consistent, Joris had joked in your ear as you shook your head, trying not to laugh. He’d had a pretty good race, the team hadn’t fucked up, it was just the way it went.
He had been busy with press and much more before he ended up back with Andrea where you and Joris had been waiting for about three hours (you were also a bit drunk; you’d had too many glasses of champagne from Paddock Club).
“Hi!” You giggled, high-fiving him. “Good job.” Joris also cackled, and Charles shot you a glare. “Are you drunk?”
“No.” You said firmly, shaking your head. “I am very sober.” You said, and Joris nodded seriously. “We had a little bit of champagne.”
Andrea gestures to the bottle that was on the table beside you. “What’s that?”
“For Cha! A well done.” You beamed, and presented it to him. Charles couldn’t help but laugh. “I am going to have to drive you two back in her car, no? Put my bicycle in the back.”
You and Joris were squealing with laughter at the idea, and the two standing before you were laughing at you.
“Come, you fucking idiots.”
“No! You can’t insult me, you kiiiiissssed me,” you giggled, and Joris didn’t catch it, but Andrea did, shooting Charles a glare, who if looks could kill, would’ve shot you dead. He looked so pissed.
“Come,” he snapped, and Andrea said that he’d take Joris.
❤️🔥💿💌🍓
He pulled up to your apartment. “Come in.” You said, and Charles scoffed. “Not for a long time now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
You looked so vulnerable, rain falling on your head as you peered down at him. “Are you taking my car? I’ll come fetch it tomorrow.” You said softly. “Thanks for taking me. I’m sorry, I was stupid. I needed to relax for one fucking minute this week.”
Charles’ eyes softened, and he opened his mouth to say something before he closed it, nodding curtly, and drove away.
You couldn’t differentiate the raindrops from your tears, forcefully wiping them away.
❤️🔥💿💌🍓
You knocked on his door at midday the next afternoon, wanting to thank him before flying to Spain. You hated the energy he’d given you since you’d kissed; it was wildly different and you loathed it.
He answered a minute or so later, glasses on and a scruffy jumper, eyes tired. “Hi,” you were out of breath all of a sudden; he was so terribly attractive.
He looked surprised to see you. “I came to say thank you. And get my keys.”
“Come in. Do you want coffee?” He said instead, and you felt a bit of déjà vu from two nights before, hauntingly familiar.
You loved his apartment. The red and white was a colour scheme you adored, and you sat on the sofa while he made you a coffee, one spoon of sugar and a splash of milk just how you liked.
“I want to say sorry for how weird I was this week. I just hate the Grand Prix in Monaco, you know?” You said hurriedly, and he set down the coffee, sitting down next to you. He laughed. “I know. I know.” It had been this way since 2021- when you had started working for him- and he kept having shit races here.
He held out his hand. You squeezed it. “Let’s move on from it.”
He smirked. “Am I such a bad kisser?”
Your jaw dropped, throwing your head back laughing. “Cha!”
He was dead serious. “Why do you want to move on?”
“I work for you?” You said, disbelievingly, and his mouth twitched. “Charles, come on.”
He picked up the mug and took a sip.
You quite literally wanted to die.
He set it down again, looking seriously at you. “I don’t regret the kiss, if you want to know.”
You stare at him. “It literally broke you and your girlfriend up.”
“I like you.” He shrugged. “More than her. More than I thought.”
You laugh, bringing the coffee to your lips. “And when I saw your lipstick on my face…” he trailed off, blushing, “Fuck.”
You swear you were as red as a mother fucking tomato at this point.
“Slow down.” You retorted, trying not to spit the coffee out.
“Kiss me.”
You stare at him again. Was he fucking delusional?
“What?” You hiss.
He rolls his eyes and kisses you.
You’re pulled onto his lap, breath gone, kissing him as hard as you can. Your head is thrown back as he goes for your neck, and the sounds he’s making make you moan.
“You’re really hot with glasses on,” you tell him, and he falters, giggling, before carrying on.
This time you let him take his shirt off, matching him.
You fall back onto the couch. Those eyes on yours, the eyes of your beautiful boy.
❤️🔥💿💌🍓
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thank you, monaco 💋💋
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lorenzotl Padel boyssss
user i wish I had your job girl
carlossainz55 Please give me a shirt @charles_leclerc
maisonde.monaco ❤️🔥💋
user So glad to see you back in the paddock again!!
thanks for reading bestie ❤️🔥
masterlist
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#f1 x you#charles leclerc imagine#f1 x reader#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc fluff#f1 one shot#f1 fic#f1
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ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:
This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.
Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.
MEULIN LEIJON
People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.
ARANEA SERKET
People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.
DAMARA MEGIDO
People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.
MEENAH PEIXES
She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.
Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.
LATULA PYROPE
Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.
KURLOZ MAKARA
His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real.
He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.
HORUSS ZAHHAK
I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...
PORRIM MARYAM
No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.
Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.
RUFIOH NITRAM
This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long.
But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency.
Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.
MITUNA CAPTOR
Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.
KANKRI VANTAS
To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.
When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.
CRONUS AMPORA
I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.
#homestuck#homestuck fandom#alpha trolls#beforan trolls#dancestors#damara megido#rufioh nitram#mituna captor#kankri vantas#meulin leijon#porrim maryam#latula pyrope#aranea serket#horuss zahhak#kurloz makara#cronus ampora#meenah peixes#nekro.pdf#nekro.txt
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fuck you stupid | ning yizhuo
synopsis : you thought you’d seen it all with her, but no, she somehow managed to surprise you even further.
pairing : bimbo!ningning x fem!reader
genre : bffs to... fwb?? idk they just fuck,, so obviously smut too! xx
tags : yall got lost help, fingering, degradation, belittling, dumbification, car sex, she's so stupid but she fucks you good so it's okay, very slight cunnilingus, she slaps you like once so impact play!
warnings : none!
word count : 1.6k
you, y/n l/n, weren’t exactly smart, but you also weren’t exactly stupid. like yeah, you weren’t a genius per se, but it’s not like you were brain dead either. average was the term you always used to describe your intelligence.
you unfortunately couldn’t say the same about ning yizhuo, your best friend.
you loved her, like that’s your bitch, of course you love her! however, you’d be lying if you said that she was intellectually capable, because she just wasn’t. god, she was just so, so painfully stupid?? clumsy??? careless???? all of the above applied when it came to this woman. not even to be mean or anything of the sorts, just, yknow… natural selection at its finest.
she was aware of that, though, and even thrived in being the self proclaimed bimbo everyone knew and loved. (to which you wholeheartedly agree with, by the way) and honestly? you just couldn’t stop teasing her about it whenever you two hung out. things similar to “stupid hoe” and “dumbass” always escaping your mouth as you two laughed, probably moments after she bumped onto something on the sidewalk whilst spilling all the tea to you.
in summary, she’s done stupid shit before, but nothing, nothing could ever top what she had done that day.
the day she got the both of you lost in some random parking lot at like, 2 am.
“ning, we’re fucking lost.” you told her, eyebrows furrowed in frustration as you watched her giggle nervously.
she grabbed her cellphone and hovered her finger over the power button, “oh come on y/n don’t be like that, i can just go on google maps and we’ll be out of here in no ti-“
a black screen.
she cleared her throat hesitantly, sighed, then pressed the button again.
nothing.
she kept doing that, giving longer presses to the side of her phone in hopes of a miracle . your patience was running thin and you were quite frankly not far from panicking.
after the 27th-ish try, you finally snapped at her.
“fucking hell ning do you not charge your damn phone??”
“sorry that i forgot to?”
oh she had to be joking.
“girl oh my god what the fuck?? we’ll stay stuck here for only god knows how long and it’s all gonna be because ‘ning yizhuo forgot to charge her phone beforehand’ for fuck’s sake.” you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose in exasperation. trying to calm down, you ignored ning’s gaze.
her stupid annoying yapping wasn’t helping at all. like, at all.
“oh so we’re once again blaming me, got it. y/n you didn’t even bring your own phone, how do you have the audacity to put the blame on me.” she said back, her eyebrow raised up as she threw her phone down on her skirt, sighing exasperatedly.
“because someone told me it was her turn to get the aux.”
“where in that sentence did i ever tell you not to bring your phone??”
“god, ning just- just stay quiet. okay? just- please shut up, i’m trying to think. we can’t rely on you for anything.” you told her, exasperated.
in response, she scoffed, “no?? no i won’t, actually. you’re always putting the blame on me and it’s seriously starting to piss me the fuck off. yeah i’m a bimbo, whatever, but does that mean that you have to talk to me like i only have two barely functioning brain cells??”
“oh please, saying you have two functioning brain cells would be wayy too generous. you’re always doing the stupidest shit out of the two of us. i mean fuck, you literally drove us here, in the middle of nowhere. you’re not a bimbo, you’re just fucking dumb, ning.”
when you looked back at her, she seemed hurt. like,
a wave of guilt quickly washed over you upon seeing her pained, pained expression. she looked into your eyes, frustration and sadness clearly showing into her own. yeah, she looked pissed. you wanted to apologize almost immediately, and you were going to,
if she didn’t suddenly press her lips onto yours before you could even get a word out.
-
how do best friends make up after a fight?
usually, they talk it out, they go out, hug it out then get milkshakes or whatever, hell, sometimes they just go a day or two without talking then eventually forget about it.
this? this was none of that.
since she planted a kiss on your lips, you, instead of doing anything stated above, were fucking.
like, yeahh you were still lost, but at least you were getting your pussy ravaged. the situation could be handled later; when you weren’t drenched.
throwing your head back as you moaned out ning’s name, you were straddling her in the backseat of her car, feeling her two fingers deep inside you and stretching you out. she looked up at you with lustfully hooded eyes as she kissed and left very visible marks all over your neck, all the way down to your collarbone, her free hand fondling your tits, lazily playing with the nipple.
“f-fuck ning keep going i’m sososo close- fuckfuckfuck..” feeling yourself getting pushed closer to the edge by the friction you felt, you bucked your hips faster onto her digits. the knot tying in your stomach felt like it would’ve snapped any second now, that is,
until she stopped moving her fingers altogether.
frustrated, you whined loudly, “ninggg please let me cum pleaseplease-”
“oh yeah? so now you wanna rely on me for something, and it’s to make you cum?” she laughed. “fucking slut. i’ll make you cum whenever i want to, got it, bitch?” she added, pressing her thumb on your swollen throbbing clit, smirking condescendingly and watching how pretty you looked when pleasure contorted your face.
you unintentionally clenched at her words, nodding shamefully. it was embarrassing enough having your best friend knuckles deep inside of you, having her call you names and whatnot, but the real embarrassing part?
enjoying it thoroughly.
she knew this, she knew she had you wrapped around her finger at that moment and oh was it such a power trip for her. seeing you be so needy for her touch, you almost started riding her fingers yourself, too. she was always the one being treated like a dumb bitch, it was nice being on the other side of things, for a change.
she kept twisting and pulling on your nipple with her free hand as she slowly started to slide her fingers up and down your walls again, giggling and paying close attention to how your body shook and twitched at each and every one of her slow movements. what a sight to see.
“you like being fucked stupid hm?”
and that’s what she did,
seconds,
minutes,
what felt likes hours,
you were sloppily bouncing and grinding on her fingers, speed ranging from a painful slowness to an overwhelming rapidity.
you gripped her arms tightly, as if you would fall into some sort of void if you didn’t hold onto her for dear life. resting your head on her shoulder, you whined, losing yourself onto her. her fingers were still pumping in and out of you at that moment, faster than they were before, by the way, so it took you all of your body strength to not just cum right then and there, but you managed to hold back. for her, you held back and took all of it. every minute passing, every single motion feeling like it was threatening to make you go insane.
“ning pleaseplease let me cum i wanna cum so badly fuck- pleasepleasepleasepleaseee-” you begged, looking down at her with pleading teary eyes.
“fuck, look at you. calling me a dumb bitch all the time, yet here you are, acting oh so stupid for my fingers. such a brainless needy little whore for me, hm? does my idiotic, pretty girl wanna cum?”
you nodded eagerly as you whined, tears actively running down both of your cheeks, so desperate for release that you quite honestly didn’t care for how ridiculous you looked to her at that moment. you just wanted to cum, so, so, so badly, and you were ready to give up your dignity for it.
the sound of her hand slapping your cheek resonated in the car.
“say it. you know damn well i don’t accept pathetic sounds for an answer.”
“fuck— your idiotic pretty girl wants to cum pleaseee let her–”
she hummed, smirking at your response. incredibly amused by your behavior, she took her fingers out of you, picked you up by placing her hands on your thighs, then gently put you on the empty seat that was next to the one she occupied. upon seeing you sat comfortably, she proceeded to kneel down on the empty space between the front seats and the backseats. y’know,
the ones a grown woman couldn’t possibly fit in?
it’s okay though, like, yeah she would most definitely complain about back pain later, but right now?
she needed to feel you cum all over her tongue.
and that’s exactly what she worked towards, her tongue driven by the scent of your arousal to roam all over your folds and clit, kissing and sucking on every inch of your core as she attentively listened to all the sweet noises that came out of you. it really did not take long before your moans reached octaves you didn’t even know you could achieve before, an overwhelming wave of relief hitting you like a truck. you were 100% sure you would pass out afterwards.
at the end of the day, yeah, you both were still stranded in the middle of some unknown parking lot, but at least, the stress of it all evaporated in the air.
while you were trying to catch your breath, you made a mental note;
never underestimate ning’s intelligence when she was in a bad mood! or, do. depending on if you wanna get fucked stupid that day or not.
#smut#kpop gg#female reader#aespa smut#ningning#ningning aespa#ning yizhuo#ningning x female reader#ningning x reader#aespa#aespa ningning#ningning aespa smut#ning yizhuo x female reader
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I Promised You I’d Never Give Up - Part 4
➪the one where bradley comes home and the two of you finally celebrate your engagement.
Warnings: 18+, age gap, smut, fluff, swearing, unprotected sex, pain kink, oral (f receiving), pda, hair pulling, mentions of a sex tape, fingering, multiple orgasms, soft dom bradley, daddy kink...?, more than half of this is just smut lolz....the end...?
Word Count: 7.7k | Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡
“Yes…feels so good, Bradley,”
Bradley groaned as he watched the video you and he made the night before his two month deployment. He was painfully hard, and while his hand helped relieve it a bit, nothing compares to you.
“Bradley,” your voice cried through the phone’s speakers. “Touch me, please.”
“Fuck,” he grunted, stroking himself a bit faster and squeezing his eyes shut when the phone landed on the bed and kept recording the sounds of your sweet moans. He was left to imagine your beautiful face and your sinful body in his mind, the sounds you made when you came spurring his own release. “Baby.”
He wished you were there with him so badly. As he painted his hand white with his release, he glanced down at his phone and watched as you ran your finger through the mess he made on you before licking it clean and smiling.
Then the video ended and he was left feeling only half satisfied.
He felt grateful that he had the video on his phone, and a bit bad that you were left with nothing. He smirked to himself as he began cleaning up the evidence of what he did, the email you sent him nearly two months ago flashing in his mind.
I should’ve made you send that video to me before you left. I want you so badly, I can’t even function properly.
He knew you were over-exaggerating a bit, but it was still kinda funny to imagine you not being able to get yourself off when he wasn’t there to do it for you. It also turned him on, thus resulting in him watching the video you made together for the hundredth time since he started this deployment.
He could only imagine you laying on your shared bed, your fingers doing nothing at all to soothe the ache in your core. Then he imagines your fingers in general, and how he put a ring on one of them before he left.
“Bradshaw,” Jake called through the locked door. “You decent? We’re going home tomorrow, I need to pack.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bradley muttered as he stuffed his phone into his packed bag before unlocking and opening the door. “You really think I’m not aware of the fact that we’re going home in less than twenty hours?”
Jake rolled his eyes as he entered the small room and sat down on his bed. “No, I didn’t think that,” he answered as he pulled his bag out from under the bed frame. “You’ve been all packed up and ready to go for days now. You’re usually the one reminding me.”
“Can you blame me?” Bradley grinned as he sat down on his bed. “You know you miss her just as much as I do.”
Jake nodded and began messily throwing his clothes into the bag. “Just not in the same way,”
Bradley huffed out a laugh and moved to lay down. “Yeah, and you’re lucky that’s the case,” he said and looked over at the blond. “You ever like her as more than a friend, Seresin?”
Jake stopped packing and gave him a weary look, making Bradley’s small smile disappear as he put on a stern look.
“You can tell me,” he pressed. “I won’t get mad.”
“Yeah, right,” Jake snorted and set his bag aside. “Like hell you won’t. You’re so obsessed with Y/n, you’d get mad if Bob was looking at her in a certain way.”
“Nah,” the brunet disagreed as he tucked his hands behind his head. “I’d never get mad at Bob.”
“Just at me,” Jake muttered before sitting up straight. “No. I’ve never liked her as more than a friend. She’s like my sister, and you should know that by now, Rooster.”
Bradley hummed, closing his eyes as he refrained from counting down the minutes until he was back with you. “Just making sure we’re still on the same page here, Hangman,”
“We are,” Jake confirmed, zipping up his poorly packed bag and setting it down on the floor. “When we get back, are you going to let me say hi to her before you drag her back home and do whatever it is that you two do together?”
“No,”
When Bradley added a headshake in, Jake huffed and moved to lay down as well. “Why am I not surprised,”
-
I can see the dock. Please tell me you’re there.
Bradley hastily typed out the message before sending it to you, looking up as if that would help him figure out where you were in the crowd. The dock couldn’t get closer any slower if it tried, he thought as he looked back down at his phone.
Pretty girl: I’m here, Bradley. Of course I’m here. I missed you so much.
His heart skipped a beat or two as he dropped his bag onto the ground of the carrier deck and replied to you.
I missed you, too. Almost there, baby. I hope you’re ready.
Your instant response had him smirking.
Pretty girl: Been ready for the last two months. Been wet, too. Still am.
He picked his bag back up when the carrier finally reached the dock, and he had to refrain from using his size to his advantage like he didn’t necessarily enjoy doing. Bradley had long since lost sight of Jake as he finally made it off the carrier. He fumbled around with his phone when he stepped onto the dock, bringing it up to his ear after clicking on your contact. “Baby, where are you?” He asked as soon as you answered.
“Made it easy for you,” you answer and he could’ve moaned at how sweet your voice sounded. Sure, he heard your voice in the video, but hearing you in real life, even through a phone call, had his mind going into a frenzy. It was fucking torture that he wasn’t allowed to call you at all this time around. “At the very back, close to the road.”
He actually groaned this time as he moved through the crowd, pressing his phone tightly against his ear. “I’m coming, pretty girl,”
He could practically hear your smirk. “Not yet,” you say. “But you will be soon.”
Before Bradley could moan again, he felt someone grip his shoulder. He turned for a brief second, the sight behind him making him roll his eyes before turning back around and heading towards the far end of the dock. “Jake’s with me, too,”
“Jake! I missed him!” You say excitedly and Bradley once again rolls his eyes. Jake was such a fucking mood killer, it was unfair. This wasn’t the first time the blond had interrupted his time with you. He had nearly walked in on Bradley jerking off more than a few times during the last couple of months, and now he was interrupting his foreplay with you.
“You missed me more,” he said smoothly as Jake kept a firm hold on his shoulder, as if he was a mother guiding her child through a busy store.
“Jesus, Bradshaw, slow down,” Jake called out over the chaos of people around them. “I need a ride.”
Bradley stopped dead in his tracks, making Jake bump into him. “Like fuck you do,” he said, still holding the phone to his ear.
“Come on, man, I said I might need you to drop me off once we got back,” Jake pointed out and Bradley was about to disagree with that until he suddenly remembered the conversation the two of them had a few nights ago. It was right after Jake had nearly walked in on Bradley watching the video, and his head was still swarming with the image of you, he couldn’t be blamed for tuning the other guy out.
“Fuck, you’re right,” he muttered before continuing to walk, ignoring the smirk Jake gave him as he followed closely behind. “We need to drop Jake off, baby. Then we’re going home.”
“God, I can’t wait for you to take me home,” you all but moaned into the phone, and of course the sound went right to Bradley’s dick.
He grunted, glancing back at his…friend? Is that what the two aviators were now? “I’m almost there,”
“I can’t wait,” you say back. “I’m literally shaking.”
Bradley grinned as he finally made it through the swarm of people, and then he was scanning the area for both you and the Bronco. He barely acknowledged Jake as his eyes met yours, and he hung up the phone and was making his way over to you within four strides.
You met him a little less than halfway and jumped into his awaiting arms after he dropped his bag. “Bradley,” you say, relief evident in your voice as you wrapped your legs around his waist. “I missed you.”
His lips were on yours shortly after that, and his hands moved to hold your dress down so you didn’t accidentally flash the many people around. Your teeth nipped his lips as you pressed kiss after kiss to them, your hands sliding up and tangling in his slightly longer hair.
He was planning on going and getting it cut when he got back to San Diego, but might hold off on that as your relentless tugging felt even better than before. “Baby,” he mumbled when he pulled away and wrapped his arms around you tightly. “I missed you so fucking much. My girl. My fiancée.” He grabs your hand in his and kisses your finger that held your pretty ring, and it was nearly blinding as it reflected off the sun.
Now that he knew what it was like, he was certain that nothing felt better than having someone to come back to after his deployments, and having that someone be you was making him feel slightly feral.
You grin as he kisses you again, your lips meshing together a bit awkwardly at first before you start to kiss him back. “Bradley,” you sigh against his mouth, pulling away just slightly. “I need…Jake!”
“I need- what?” Bradley barely managed to ask before he felt a light slap on his back.
“Hey, sweetheart,” came Jake’s voice from behind him. “Did you miss me, too?”
You smile at him and move to get down. Bradley helps you steady yourself before you throw yourself at Jake. “Of course I missed you,”
“It’s good to see you,” he says as he returns the hug. The second you stepped away, Bradley was pulling you against his side and pressing kiss after kiss to the top of your head. “And I know, I know. I’m ruining your little reunion, so the quicker we leave, the quicker you can drop me off and the quicker you two can get home.”
“You’re right again, Seresin,” Bradley said as he picked his bag up and tugged you over to the passenger side door of the Bronco. He opens it and kisses you again once you are seated, moving to stand in between your thighs as you pull him closer. His hands grip your waist while yours tangle in his hair, and he knew if you kept this up, he would be sporting a hard on in no time. He groaned as he pulled away. “We gotta go.” He stated, kissing you one last time before closing the door and opening the back one.
Jake pushes past him and hops in the Bronco, grinning at Bradley as he says, “And they say chivalry is dead,”
You turn and look back at him as Bradley throws his bag at Jake before closing the door. “Have you two finally gotten past whatever it was that was between you? Dare I ask, are you two friends?”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Bradley answers as he gets in on the drivers side.
“We’re working on it,” Jake says and settles back against the seat.
You raise a brow as Bradley takes your hand in his and pulls out of the parking spot, driving a bit over the speed limit in order to get rid of Jake as fast as he could. “I’m really glad you two are finally getting along,” you say as you near Jake’s street. “My best friend and boyfriend are actually becoming friends. Never thought I’d see the day.”
“I’m sorry, your what?” Bradley asks, looking over at you with a smirk.
You match it as you lean over and grip his thigh. “Sorry,” you say. “I meant my best friend and my fiancé.”
“Better,” he murmured and refrained from rolling his eyes at the loud way Jake cleared his throat.
“You guys are too much,” he says and takes off his seatbelt. “Hold off on jumping each other for thirty more seconds, okay? I’ll be gone soon enough.”
You laugh and pull away, much to Bradley’s dismay as he reaches Jake’s house. “There you go, now get out,” he says and you slap his arm.
“Bradley,” you scold as Jake opens the back door and gets out.
“It’s fine. We spent the last two months together,” he says and smiles at you. “I’m sick of the guy, too.”
Bradley glared at him as Jake winks at you before walking into his house. “He’s gone,” you state the obvious and grip his thigh again. “Now don’t make me beg. Take me home.”
He groaned, pulling out of Jake’s driveway then taking your hand again. “But you know I love it when you beg,” he smirked as his thumb spun the ring around your finger. “My fiancée is so needy for me.”
You bring your joined hands up to your mouth, where you gently begin sucking on his index finger. “You have no idea,” you mumble and Bradley was barely able to concentrate on driving as he felt your tongue swirl around the tip of his finger. “I’ve only made myself come twice since you’ve been gone.”
“What?” He asked in shock, looking over at you when he stopped at a red light. His thumb pulled at your bottom lip, his brows furrowing when you let out a needy whine. “You’ve gotten yourself off twice in two months? That’s it?”
You whine again as your face heats up. “They both lasted less than a second each. I can’t make myself feel as good as you do,” you defended yourself. “How many times did you get off?”
“Like, nearly every night,” he grunted, driving again once the light turned green. “Fuck, baby, now I feel bad.”
You laughed, bringing his hand down so it was gripping your thigh. “Don’t,” you wave off. “It was quite eye opening to realize that you were right when you said I wouldn’t be able to forget you were gone once I tried to make myself come without you here to do it for me.”
His smirk grew as his hand slid higher up your thigh. “I’m really glad I was right about that,” he briefly looked over at you, his gaze softening as he noticed the way your face was flushed and your eyes were wide with lust. “You need me, huh?” His quiet question lacked any sort of mockery, and he sounded so genuine.
It had you squeezing your thighs together. “Bradley,”
“I need you, too,” he continued as he turned onto yours and his street. “I need to feel you, right here.” His hand moved under your dress and stroked your lace covered core.
“Oh, God,” you moan and grip his wrist as he begins to softly rub your clit.
Bradley pulled into the driveway and pulled the keys out not even a second later. “Come here, baby,” he rasped, helping you over the center console and letting you settle against his lap. “Come ride my thigh.”
You brace yourself on his lap and place your hands on his shoulders, your fingers digging into his uniform shirt. His hands grab your waist and pull your body right up against his before gently guiding you forward.
The soft, relieved sigh that leaves your mouth had him leaning in and connecting his mouth to yours. “Missed that sound,” he mumbled, rocking your hips against his thigh. “That video doesn’t do you any justice, pretty girl.”
You whine, tangling your hands in his hair. “I wanna see it,” you whisper, moving your body with the help of his hands. “Did you watch it a lot?”
He hummed, nodding before pushing you back a bit and kissing along the tops of your breasts. “I couldn’t stop watching it,” he confessed. You moan and lean back against the steering wheel, making sure, even in your lust filled haze, to not put too much pressure on the middle of it. “You looked so hot, baby, like you do right now.”
You whimper, blindly reaching for his biceps as his hands slide up your back. “Bradley,” you moan, helplessly clenching around nothing as you grind your core against his khaki covered thigh.
“I know, baby,” he cooed, kissing your neck before gently sucking a mark there. You moan a bit louder, reaching one hand down and gripping him through his pants. He groaned against your skin, sliding his hands to rest on the small of your back, where he tugged you forward with a bit more force than last time.
“Feels so good,” you whimper, leaning in and kissing him roughly.
Bradley didn’t really plan on getting you off in the Bronco and in your driveway, where literally any one of your neighbors could walk out of their houses and see you (which is why he didn’t pull your dress down and ravish your tits like he really wanted to - the neighbors did not need to see you in that way). But then you told him you hadn’t been able to make yourself feel good enough to the point of coming without him there.
At first he felt bad, but now he just felt smug and a bit full of himself. He had ruined you for any other guy - not that any other guy would even get a chance with you now - and even ruined you for yourself.
He had made you so needy for him, and that fact had made him painfully hard.
With that being said, he had a lot of making up to do.
He grunted quietly at your words, pulling away from your neck so he could take over the uneven movement of your hips. “Bradley,” you warn in a breathy voice.
“You gonna come?” He rasped, bending his knee a bit so his thigh tightened and gave you a more firm surface.
It was almost comical how quickly he was able to get you off without even actual penetration, and you were a bit embarrassed at the many hours you spent trying to do it to yourself when he was away. Nothing felt better than him, and that was beyond clear at this point.
You just whimper in response and cling onto him with shaky hands. “It’s okay,” he says quietly, kissing your jaw as your movements become a bit more frantic. “Come, sweet girl, you deserve it.”
His words go right through you and you cry out a bit, pressing your lips to his in an attempt to silence your sounds. “Fuck,” you whisper against his mouth as you stop grinding against him. You pull away with a fucked out expression on your face, and Bradley is sure he’s never seen a hotter sight. “Hi.”
He grins and kisses you quickly, smoothing out the fabric of your dress. “Hey,”
You smile back and glance down at the damp spot on his pants, a teasing look in your eyes. “I missed you,”
Bradley reached for the door handle and kept his free hand on your lower back as he got out. “I missed you,” he said back as he carried you up to the front door. He gives you his keys as he sets you down, his hands gripping your waist when you turn and unlock the door. “God, you look so pretty.”
You give him a smirk from over your shoulder as you enter the house, and he follows close behind and kicks the door shut behind him. “Guess what?” You ask as you turn around and drape your arms around his neck.
He hummed, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips as he pulled you against him. “What?”
“In a few days it’ll be one year since we met,”
Your words didn’t sound true to him, as it felt like he had known you for a lot longer than a year by this point, but when he gave it some thought, he realized you were right.
He was going on half a year of being with you, unofficially, when he fucked up and broke things off, then he spent a month and a half on his own, then another three after that with you as his official girlfriend, and now it’s been another two months.
“You’re right,” he mumbled, holding you even closer to him. “Almost one whole year since the second best night of my life.”
You squint as you play with his pins. “What’s the first?”
“The night I got you back,” he answered, kissing the corner of your mouth. “The same night I told you I love you.”
You give him a dumb grin as you tug at the hair on the back of his neck. “What a perfect night that was,” you agree and he shakes his head as he picks you up effortlessly and carries you down the hall towards your bedroom.
“It was perfect because you decided to forgive me for some reason,” he says as he lays you down on the bed. “Still haven’t quite figured out why you did that, but I’ll never complain.”
You shake your head as he unbuttons his shirt and lets it drop to the floor. “I’d forgive you a hundred times again if it meant it ended with us being together,”
Bradley kissed your mouth deeply, his hand coming up to grip one of your breasts through your dress as he did so. “We’ll always be together, I made sure of that,” he held up your left hand so your ring is on full display. That same hand tangles in his hair as he kisses his way down your body. “Now let’s see the mess you made.”
He pulls down your damp panties and drops them to the floor as well, his eyes darkening at your glistening core. You gasp as he leans in and licks a stripe up your folds, the sudden stimulation making your body shudder a bit.
His tongue gently traces circles onto your clit, and you tug on his hair in the way you know he loves. “Bradley,” you whimper, shaking a bit when he lifts a hand and slowly slips his middle and index fingers into you. “It’s too much.”
But your walls greedily sucked the digits in deeper, betraying your own words. “You can take it,”
And you could. He would never make you do something you weren’t comfortable with, nor would he ever push you past your limit. He knew how much you could handle, and he knew you weren’t close to that point yet. His dick twitched at the thought of getting you there, though.
You moan quietly, propping yourself up on one elbow as you thread your fingers through his hair. “Don’t cut this,” you softly request, making him laugh against you. The vibrations had you clenching tightly around his fingers and another moan leaving your lips, this one much louder than the last.
He pulls away from your core with wet lips that were curved into a smirk. “You like me with longer hair, huh?” He teased, tracing your clit again with a barely-there pressure.
“I love you with longer hair,” you correct and tilt your head back. “Please, don’t cut it for a little while, okay?”
He laughed again, fucking his fingers a bit faster into you. “I’ll keep it this way for as long as you want,” he offered and was completely serious. His hair had only grown about an inch while he was deployed, and though he preferred to have it short, he wasn’t opposed to growing it out for you.
In other words, he was completely whipped for you and wanted to do any little thing that would make you happy, and he would proudly admit that to anyone who asked.
“You love me that much, huh?” You tease back, your face scrunching up a bit as his fingers reach that spot deep within you.
“I think I love you a bit too much,” he said, his mouth returning to your clit. Your mouth opens in a quiet whine, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as he circles the bundle of nerves with his tongue. “You’re going to be my wife. My fucking wife.”
You grin down at him, your thighs shaking a bit when he fucks his tongue into you. “You kept your word, huh? About ensuring that I’d grow sick of you? I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about wives growing sick of their husbands, Bradley,”
He looks up at you, his mouth glistening. “We’re meant to be together, baby,” he states, wrapping his arms around your thighs. “You can grow as sick of me as you want, but I’m never getting over you.”
Tugging harshly at his hair, you whimper. “You always say the sweetest things,”
“I know,” he agrees. “You’ve made me so pathetic, but it’s worth it.”
You shake your head quickly, reaching further down and caressing the side of his face. “You’re not pathetic, Bradley,” you scolded with a hint of playfulness in your voice, but you were also dead serious. “Meeting you that night at the Hard Deck was the best thing that ever happened to me, and everything that happened after that led up to this. I wouldn’t change a thing. Not even the heartbreaks.”
Bradley pulled his mouth away and stared up at you with nothing but love in his dark eyes. “Baby,” he rasped, using his free hand to assist him in crawling back up your body. He continues to fuck his fingers into you as he presses his mouth to yours in a desperate and needy kiss. “I promise I will never hurt you ever again. That was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I promise, for as long as I’m with you, I’ll make sure you’re so fucking happy all the time.”
You smile into the kiss, raking your nails down his back with just enough pressure to cause the sting he loved so much. “Guess I’m going to be so fucking happy for the rest of my life,”
He grinned back at you. “I’ll make sure of it,” he repeats as the tips of his fingers brush against your sweet spot.
Your smile breaks as a moan tumbles from your mouth, and you grab onto his hair tightly and bring his mouth to yours in a messy kiss. “‘M gonna come again,”
Bradley hums against your mouth, your salivas mixing together and wetting both yours and his lips. “Come for me, baby,” he practically begged, wanting nothing more than to get you off at least a couple more times in the remainder of the day since you had been deprived of it for so long.
You gladly do as he says and come for the second time since he returned home. Your body shook a bit uncontrollably as you moaned against his mouth, his throat swallowing all of your sweet sounds. “Bradley,” you nearly whispered, reaching down to still his hand once you felt the sensitivity begin to take over.
“I know, pretty girl,” he cooed, kissing you again before slowly pulling his fingers out of your sopping core. Seconds later he was sucking them clean of your release, never breaking eye contact with you as he did so. “You’re so good for me, baby. Taste so good.”
“Jesus,” you mutter as you try to stop your legs from shaking. He just smiles at you, his hands reaching down to pull your dress up and over your head.
He leans down and kisses along the tops of your breasts, his fingers playing with the straps of your bra as he did so. “You gonna let me fuck you, sweet girl?” He asked, reaching behind you and unclasping your bra. “Think you can take another one?”
You nod your head as he drops your bra off the side of the bed, your kiss swollen lips puffed out and begging him to cover them with his own again. “Always,” you answer, unzipping his pants with shaky fingers.
Bradley watched with a teasing grin, his eyes moving up your bare body and meeting your own. “I don’t think you’re ready for another one,” he mumbled, trailing his fingers down your chest until they were pinching your nipples. “Think you need a minute.”
“No,” you shake your head and push down his khaki pants just enough to be able to free him from his tight boxer briefs. “Bradley, please.”
He just grinned down at your pleads, smoothing your hair out again. “You need me, hm?” He knew he was being cruel, but the sight of you so needy and whiny and desperate for him was one he loved to see. “You need to be filled.”
It wasn’t a question, because you both know the answer to it. “I need it so badly,” you agreed, pulling down his briefs and wrapping your small fingers around him. “Haven’t you missed being inside of me?”
Bradley groaned quietly as you began to stroke him. “Of course I did, baby,” he answered, pressing his forehead to your shoulder. Your hand felt so much better than his own, and he knew no one else could get him going like you can. “Missed it so much.”
“Then stop teasing me,” you murmur, stroking him a bit faster. He grunted and kissed your shoulder before sucking a mark there, and you moan as you wrap your legs around his waist. Biting down harshly on your lip, you think about what you were going to say next very carefully, and more specifically, what you were going to call him. You were a bit nervous as you didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, but decided to go for it. You could wallow in the embarrassment later if he were to not be into it. “Come on, please….daddy.”
It was as if all the air in the room had been sucked away. Bradley tensed up immediately, his mouth detaching from your shoulder as he slowly began to lift his head. Your heart was beating loudly in your ears and your skin was on fire as you waited to see his reaction.
You were a bit worried that his silence meant something bad, but when he lifted his head all the way and finally met your gaze, his eyes were even darker and his expression told you all you needed to know. He was into it. “Daddy…huh?” He tested the word out and noticed the way you squirmed under him when he said it. He braced his forearms on either side of your head as he ground his front against yours, his mouth muffling the moan you let out as he pressed a deep kiss to your lips. “I’m your daddy, hm, baby?” He asked when he pulled away, his eyes flickering between your own and your mouth.
You nod once and smile shyly up at him, as if you hadn’t just called him your fucking daddy.
He groaned loudly, growing impossibly harder. “Is it because I’m ten years older than you?”
You shrug. “Maybe. I just wanted to try it out,” you mumble. “See how it felt. If you’re not into it-”
“Oh, I’m into it,” he cut you off, kissing your neck and throat as he tried to hold back his groans. “Fuck, am I into it. I’m trying not to come right now after hearing you call me that.”
You laugh, a blush taking over your face. “So, we’re both okay with it,” you state and he nods quickly. “Okay….now can you please fuck me? I missed you for two months, daddy.”
Bradley growled under his breath, reaching down and guiding himself into your dripping core without any resistance from you. “Fuck,” he grunted, sliding one arm under you while his other hand reaches up and tangles in your hair. “You feel so fucking perfect.”
You moan at the stretch of your walls, your own fingers being nothing compared to him. It was no wonder you couldn’t get yourself off when it was this you were so used to. “You’re so big,” you gasp when he begins to roughly rock his hips against yours. “Oh, God.”
“Not quite,” he rasped, pressing his forehead against yours with a smirk forming on his lips. “I think we established who I am to you, huh?”
Another blush takes over your face as you nod, raking your hands through his messy hair. “Right,” you say, wrapping your legs tighter around his hips. “You fill me up so well, daddy. Make me feel so good.”
“That’s right, baby,” he murmured, kissing you again as he fucked into you hard and fast, just the way he knew you needed. Your core greedily took every thrust, though sensitive, but desperate to be filled up by him. “‘M gonna make you my wife, pretty girl. Show everyone how much I fucking love you.”
Not that everyone didn’t already know, he wanted to add but didn’t. It was true, though. Everyone knew that he was in love with you before he even realized it himself.
You whine quietly, tracing his scars with the tip of your index finger. Your body rocked against his with every grind of his hips, your hands clinging onto any part of him they could get a firm grip on. “I love you, Bradley,” you moan, digging your heel into his lower back and driving him deeper into you. “I have since the very beginning.”
“I’ve loved you for almost a year now,” he commented, pulling away with a grin. “A whole year.”
You grin back, kissing his cheek and then his neck as you ask, “Bradley, let me ride you, please?”
It wasn’t a position you found yourself in too often, as you both preferred him to be on top, but it was one that allowed him to reach the deepest part of you.
He grunted and pulled away from you. “You think you can keep up, sweet girl? I’ve made you come twice now and you’re looking a little spent,”
“You’re the one who is ten years older, remember?” You remind him as you writhe around a bit. “I think I can keep up just fine.”
Bradley hummed, his grin turning into a smirk as he placed one hand on your lower back and pulled your body against his as he flipped you over so he was on his back. “Okay,” he challenged in a deep tone. “Ride me, then.”
You place your palms flat against his chest as you sink down onto him, the new angle making him stretch you in the best way possible. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”
He laughs a bit as his hands move to grip your waist and help guide you up and down on him. “What makes you say that?”
Your brows furrow a bit as your nails dig into his skin. “You’ve gotten me off two times now, it’s not fair. You’ve ruined me,”
He laughed again, his thumbs pressing into the skin of your hips as you slowly rode him. “I thought that was a good thing,”
“It is,” you whisper as he reaches the deepest part of you, his tip brushing against your sweet spot. “Fuck.”
Bradley gives you a half smirk and half grin as he stills you by your hips and thrusts sharply upwards. “There?” He asks under his breath, knowing the answer but wanting to hear you say it.
Of course you give in. “Yes,” you whimper, scratching down his chest as he fucks up into you. “Right there, Bradley. Feels so good.”
You clench down tightly around him and Bradley had to force himself to not come right then and there. “I know,” he muttered through a tight jaw, his brows furrowing as you lean down and press multiple kisses to the scars on his throat and neck. “I know, baby, you feel so fucking good, too.”
“Bradley,” you whine, reaching a hand up and tugging on his hair. “I’m gonna come.”
Bradley, who had been holding off since he got you off in the Bronco, felt his body tense up as he helped you ride him until you had come for the third time since he got back. Your warmth floods around him and makes it easier to thrust up into you, and the fucked out expression you wore had him grunting as he came deep within you. “Fuck,” he rasped, keeping your body pressed firmly against his.
Still buried in you, Bradley slides his hands up your body until he is able to grip the back of your shoulders and hold you against him as he moves to lay on his side. You laugh loudly, wrapping your leg around his waist and draping your arms around his neck.
“I love you,” he murmured as he pressed kisses to your neck, his hand blindly reaching for your left one. He pulled back to be able to look at your ring for a few seconds, a dumb grin taking over his lips once he looked back at you. “I can’t believe we’re gonna get married. I mean, I can, but I can’t.”
You shake your head and lean up to kiss the base of his throat, feeling his deep groan against your lips. “Let’s go to the Hard Deck later,” you offer with a teasing smile.
He groaned again and shook his head, wrapping you up tighter in his arms and moving back up to the pillows. “No, baby, I wanna stay home with you all night,”
The movement caused him to shift slightly inside you, making you hold back a whine at the nearly overwhelming feeling of sensitivity. You couldn’t believe he had made you come three times in under an hour, when you couldn’t even do that after spending multiple hours trying to. “But we have some exciting news to share with our friends,” you state and run your fingers through his hair in an attempt to smooth it out.
Bradley furrows his brows as he runs his hand up and down your back. “What do you mean?” He asks, pulling back to be able to look at you when you didn’t respond. Realization kicked in and his eyes widened a bit. “You didn’t tell anyone?”
You smile and shake your head. “No, I wanted us to tell them together. I hid my ring in public,” you say. “Why, who did you tell?”
“Only Jake, like, right after it happened,” he says as he finally pulls out and sits up against the headboard. You prop yourself up on your elbow and trail your fingers over the crevices of his abs, your mind a bit hazy at just how fit he is. “I swear, if he’s already told everyone I will make sure he does not get invited to the wedding. I don’t care if he’s our friend.”
“Our friend?” You ask with wide eyes. “I knew you two made up! Bradley, I’m so happy! You two were feuding for way too long.”
“That wasn’t my fault. Yeah, I fucked up first, but he’s the one who never gave me the time of day after you and I got back together,” he pointed out and wrapped his hand around your wrist, his thumb twirling your ring around. “He acted like I didn’t feel guilty for six weeks straight after we…broke up.”
“Bradley,” you trail off, sitting up and nuzzling into his side. “No more thinking about that day. Look at us now. We’re engaged. You’re going to be my husband, Bradley. Everything worked out in the end.”
He nodded and kissed the side of your head, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Yeah, I’ll always feel bad about it, though,” he mumbled but before you could scold him again he added, “Fuck it, we’re going out tonight. I can’t wait to show you off to everyone. Nat is going to freak the fuck out.”
-
“So, before we go in there, we need to address something,” Bradley says as you and he stand outside the Hard Deck. He wore tight fitting jeans and a pale blue and white Hawaiian shirt, and he looked damn near edible, you almost wanted to turn right back around so he could get you off for a fourth time.
Thinking he was referring to your secret engagement, you move closer to him and wrap your arms around his neck. “What is it?”
He grips your waist and the smirk that formed on his lips was all you needed to see to realize it wasn’t about the engagement. “This whole ‘daddy’ thing wasn’t a one time thing, right? Please don’t say it was a one time thing,”
You blush a bit and match his smirk, dropping your arms as you lean up and whisper, “Let’s go share our news, daddy,”
Bradley held back a groan as he blindly reached behind him and pulled open the door. You enter the Hard Deck tucked securely under his arm, your left hand hidden away in his back pocket. As soon as Nat locked eyes with him she was pushing her way through the crowd of aviators and throwing herself into her best friend’s arms. “I’m so happy you’re back,” she admitted and Bradley laughed as he hugged her back. “I gotta say, Y/n and I’s girl days weren’t really girl days at all. She spent the whole time whining about how much she missed you. It was sad, really.”
Your face heats up and you look away quickly, making Bradley grin down at you once he pulls away from the hug. “Yeah, well, I’m sure Jake feels the same way you do, Nat,” he said as he pulled you back into his side. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too,” she said back, looking between you and him. “It’s even better to see you two back together. So, when’s the wedding? I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t asked you to marry him yet.”
You and Bradley share a not-so-obvious look and Nat raises a brow.
“What? What am I missing…” she trailed off once you lifted your left hand and showed her the ring you spent the last two months hiding from her. Her face stayed a bit expressionless as she looked at the ring, then it was as a switch flipped as she let out a small squeal before covering her mouth. “You guys are engaged?! When? Where? How did this happen? Damn, Rooster, you haven’t even been home for twenty four hours yet and you already proposed to her?”
“As if,” he scoffed. “No, I proposed to her two months ago.”
Nat looked over at you with shock all over her face. “What? What the fuck, Y/n, how did you hide that from me?”
You shrugged. “I’m good at hiding things, I guess,”
This time Nat was the one to scoff. “Yeah, right. You couldn’t even keep your crush on Rooster a secret,” she said and you press your lips together in slight embarrassment when you hear Bradley laugh next to you. “We all knew you were in love with him from the night you met. You weren’t smooth about it at all.”
Bradley looks down at you with a teasing smile. “Aw,”
“Hey, you weren’t smooth about it, either,” Nat added, making his smile drop. “I can’t believe you guys are engaged! It took you long enough.” She moved to hug him again then moved onto you.
“Only you and Jake know now,” you say as you hug her back. “We’re going to announce it here.”
She pulled back with a barely concealed smile. “How did he go about it? Was it romantic?”
You look up at him with a sheepish grin. “He did it back on the dock before he left for his deployment. It was pretty romantic,”
Nat looked over at him as well. “Damn, Bradley, you left right after proposing?”
He shrugged. “I couldn’t wait any longer,”
“You guys are seriously so cute. I’m so happy for you,” she beamed. “Now please tell everyone else. I have a big mouth and I’m refraining from screaming right now.”
And that was how you found yourself surrounded by the dagger squad, a beer in everyone’s hands as they congratulated you on your engagement. “Thank God you two got here before I did,” Jake said as he stood next to you at the bar. “I thought big mouth over here would’ve told everyone the second she left that dock. I was going to bring it up with Javy later. That would’ve been pretty awkward.” He nudged you and you rolled your eyes.
“Thanks for not spoiling the surprise, Jake,” you say and lean up to kiss his cheek.
“Congrats, sweetheart,” he winked at you and wandered off towards the dart board.
You turn to Bradley and find him grinning at you, and you weren’t able to smile back before he was leaning down and kissing you. “I love you,” he mumbles once he pulls away.
“I love you,” you say back and look down at the bar. “Hey, this is where we met. In this exact spot.”
Bradley, too, looked down and his smile only grew. “Would you look at that,” he said as he set his empty beer down before taking your half full one from your hand. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his chest, his hand finding yours and his thumb turning your ring again. “Look where we are now. We’re getting married. We belong together, pretty girl.”
“Took you long enough to realize it,” you teased and he just shook his head before kissing you again.
#rooster bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw#rooster bradshaw fic#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw fic#bradley bradshaw smut#top gun maverick#top gun au#rooster top gun#top gun rooster#tgm fic#tgm#rooster x reader#rooster fanfic
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Wake
A/N: Finally another part of my darksugardaddy!joel. This has been sitting in my WIPs for a while, and I’m so pleased with how it turned out. Be kind to me as I haven’t written in a while and I feel terrible about starving you all of content.
Summary: Joel comes home to fuck your lights out.
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader/You (No y/n)
Tags: +18 smut, dub-con with non-con elements, painful and rough sex, p in v sex, choking, passing out, degradation, abusive behavior, creampie, dirty talk, no aftercare, sugar daddy, daddy kink
Word count: 2k
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50908876
Wake
It’s a late afternoon when you come to a realization; you don’t love Joel Miller, and you don’t think you could ever love Joel Miller. He is everything that you’ve been taught to hate if you want to believe in fairytales. Your parents would disapprove of him so immediately that you’d be terrified of them cutting you off from them if they knew of his existence.
You’ve never had a man be this rough with you, and only occasionally stroking your hair in apology afterward, but you suppose that the copious amounts of money spent on you - clothes that feel like armor around regular men and expensive bottles of wine that might as well have been potions designed to make you insane - is enough to make up for any unpleasantries within what you don’t dare call a relationship.
You don’t love him but you can’t hate him. Not in a way that any other person would. How else would you surround yourself with pretty things? You’re no good at anything else than being what he needs.
Whenever he has had a bad day, you know the roughness will increase. It always starts the same; with a slam of the mansion door and a hungry search for you through the obnoxiously large building. He calls for you and you don’t dare not to answer, and in the end, he finds you in the extravagant living room - one of many - with its gold-rimmed glass tables and Chesterfield couches. You’ve been reading a book, but you put it down the second he enters and don’t even bother asking to read to the next full stop.
“There you are,” he almost heaves for breath with exhaustion from his anger. He isn’t angry at you - you know this - but still, you find yourself treading lightly when his voice is so cold that the living room seems to drop a few degrees in temperature and causing your nipples to harden at the sudden change.
Then, as part of your ritual, he gets a thick wad of bills from the inside pocket of his suit and places it on the nearest surface. A bank transfer won’t do in these situations. He needs something physical, something he can hold in his hand and flash before you, and you know that he wants you to fall to your knees and beg for the warmth and dirtiness of the printed bills against your clean skin.
You’re just about to when he interrupts you.
“There will be more when you wake,” he promises, voice almost too quiet and restrained. Like he is saving his strength.
You notice his choice of words; when you wake.
Wake.
You gulp. You’ll have to take it in stride. You’ll have to play the part.
You rise from your seat and he watches you patiently. You say nothing as you lower yourself onto the glass table and then lie down on your back, knowing it can hold because Joel would never buy a surface that he couldn’t have you on.
You’ve learned not to wear anything too difficult to get out of, so it takes little time for you to pull off your skirt. Though you struggle a bit with your underwear since they’re already damp, sticking to the outline of your cunt and the sight makes Joel smirk like the Devil. Curse him, you think, for knowing that you can barely function when he looms over you like a giant, like a dangerous predator that hasn’t tasted blood for weeks.
When you manage to maneuver your panties down your thighs, he twitches with impatience and curls his whole fist around the cotton fabric. He yanks them down and watches them twist into themselves as he pulls them down over the length of your legs and off your feet.
They catch on your heels for the tiniest second. He gracefully undoes the ankle straps of them and drops each one onto the floor after taking it off. The anticipation is killing you, toying with your ability to breathe properly and even moreso at the humiliation of only wearing your top now.
“Pull it down,” he commands, gesturing to it. You start to yank at the bottom to pull it over your head but he growls, “Down. Not off, stupid bitch.”
Oh.
You pull the neckline down to settle it underneath your breasts, feeling like something on display with the way that Joel takes you in. His cock strains against the front of his pants, his breath uneven, when he cups both of your tits in his hands and pushes them roughly together. His thumbs skim over your hardened nipples, causing you to moan and he responds by pinching them instead until the moan transforms into a whimper.
“I’m gonna fuck you until your pretty little lights go out,” he mutters, pinches, and then tugs a bit on your nipples until you move involuntarily, “Lie still. Don’t give me any shit.”
He takes a step back, his gaze pinning you down whilst he undoes his belt. You refrain from shivering in case he tells you off once more, but you’re so close to doing it when you hear the noise of his zipper. A gush of wetness seeps from you, possibly smearing the glass surface that you are lying on.
“Please,” you say pathetically.
“Please what?” He asks as if he doesn’t care.
“Daddy,” you present your cunt for him by opening your legs and Joel instinctively looks at your quivering slit, “Please fuck me.”
Joel steps between your legs, using his knees to push them even further apart. He towers over you, cock standing impressively into the air after he has shoved his pants and underwear down his thighs. He tuts at the desperate look in your eyes, “I barely make it through the front door before you’re spreading your legs for me.”
You want to argue that he was the one who sought you out, but he might leave you with a throbbing cunt if you have the audacity to play smart with him, so instead you just nod with a breathless ‘yes’.
He places one knee on the coffee table, following up with scooping a hand underneath the small of your back to align your lower pelvises. His grip is so strong, his bare skin, the amount you are allowed to feel, burns against your own. Like King Midas, his touch enriches you, turns you into something as valuable as gold.
His cock breaches your tight cunt moments after. He watches you intently as your eyes screw shut with the inevitable sting that it brings due to his generous girth. He seats himself to the hilt inside of you and reaches something you didn’t even know a man could get to when he presses his hand into the spot where it rests on your back.
“Good girl,” he praises with a strained moan, “How do you feel?”
“Full,” you say shakily and teasingly clench around him.
He takes in a sharp breath, and before you know it, his free hand has come down on your right breast in a harsh slap. He adds to it by palming your throat afterward, tightly gripping it when you try to squeeze around his length again after not having been given time to react to the consequence of doing it the first time. You smirk up at him and he nearly loses his mind.
“God, you just want it bad, don’t you, little girl?” His hips draw back and he keeps you waiting for the briefest second before slamming them forward again. The force behind his thrusts is borderline painful, but the way his hand arches your back makes his cockhead pound your front wall.
The moans you let out are barely there, high-pitched or silent with the way he knocks all wind out of you whilst simultaneously cutting off oxygenated blood to your brain.
He fucks you like an animal, all groans and grunts, sweat dripping from his brow because he is too hungry for dominance to undress. He loves being able to quickly flee the scene afterward and loves leaving you with no clothes on so you cannot follow him.
But it’s not the amount of clothes that he wears compared to you that gets you close to the edge. It is the fact that nothing around you feels real except for him. Even you don’t feel real but rather closer to an inanimate object that only comes alive because of the dark eyes that penetrate your own.
You’ve known this fact for a while. Despite the love not being there, you know that after this arrangement has started - you don’t know what else to call it - his mere looking at you is what makes you materialize.
Your fingers come up to curl around his wrist. You cannot breathe and it fucking hurts, only dulled by the way that your cunt starts to flutter with how close he has gotten you to the edge. You hadn’t expected him to make you come.
With wide eyes, you look up at him in an attempt to tell him what is going on. He holds your gaze, pleased with himself as he drives into you, “I know, little girl, don’t have to tell me, I can feel you.”
You don’t have the guts to fight his harsh hand. You take it with tears forming in your eyes and the feeling of your pulse pounding in your neck where it’s fighting to get past his bruising grip.
“Say it, say that you love me, that you’re nothing without me,” he commands, but when you try to speak it is nothing but a squeak. He has his hand so tightly around your windpipe that you cannot get a word past your lips, drooling and shaking underneath his lack of mercy as your tongue feels too big for your mouth. He grins maniacally down at you as your vision blurs around the edges, “Made you speechless, did I? You filthy whore.”
You have always been familiar with the term putting someone’s lights out, but you’ve never understood the true meaning until Joel came into your life. You come hard, unfolding beneath his touch, with tears on your cheeks - and then there’s nothing.
Like a child falling asleep in a car seat, you have been carried up the stairs and into your bedroom. You sit up in your comfy bed and try to piece together how you have gotten here, and when you realize, it is because of your underwear and skirt messily and hurriedly sitting around your ankles.
You tug your bottom garments up again. There is something sticky between your legs, and you know, immediately. what it is when you start to shift your legs and are hit with soreness. Everything hurts, but nothing seems to be broken or damaged.
You glance to your right and spot the stack of bills that Joel had flashed earlier. It is neatly placed on the edge of the table along with a glass of water and some aspirin. You’ll take them soon, need to feel the ache a little while longer.
Instead of doing what is most comfortable (like taking the damn pills), you reach for the money instead. A delusional person would argue that they still feel warm, the temperature somewhere between newly printed and body heat. You take a few of them in your hand, and then you press them against your skin. The fact that you find it soothing is pathetic.
The wonder and innocence of being carried upstairs as a kid doesn’t translate into adulthood, you think, and then you lay down to fall into a deep sleep.
.
.
.
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#pedro pascal characters#joel miller#joel miller x reader#the last of us#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel the last of us#joel miller the last of us#joel miller fanfic#joel miller imagine#joel miller smut#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal fanfiction#my writing#sugardaddy!joel
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Loverman
Synopsis: If this is his last goodbye to you Nanami wants to make it count
CW: A tad bit angsty, shibuya arc, oral sex ( f receiving), soft dom, L bomb, established marriage, 1.9k words
A/N: Nanami deserves the world and imma stand 10 toes on that
Nanami is so in love with you. He can’t get enough of your silly jokes or the way you come running to him to pepper him in a million kisses as if you haven’t seen him in years. Your smile always seems to brighten his day. He never feels like he’s able to show you how much he really loves you.
That's why tonight he has planned something special before his business trip to Shibuya. For the first time ever Nanami’s heart aches more than anything in the world because he isn’t sure if he’ll be back. This trip is one of the more dangerous ones that he has to go on. If he could he’d spend his time locked away from the world with you, but he knows what comes with being a sorcerer. He doesn’t want to worry you though. He can’t bare to see the look on your face when you realize how dangerous this mission is. He refuses to have to watch you plead and beg for him not to go. Thinking of seeing your tear stained cheeks watching him leave for the last time is too much to bear. He thinks to himself, how selfish it must seem but something in him thinks it’s well deserved. If this does happen to be his last night with you he was going to indulge and be as selfish as his heart desires.
When you come home from a long day he has dinner prepared for you. You ask a million questions.
‘What’s the occasion?’
‘Have I forgotten an anniversary?’
‘Is it my birthday?’
You’re so cute. He places long loving kisses across your skin, hands, arms, neck and his favorite place to show you he loves you, lips. He can’t help the lingering stares as he watches you enjoy the meal he cooked for you. You’ve always loved his cooking. He notices the small things now. The way you dance with each bite humming about how tasty it is. The way you chew savoring the delectable meal. He chuckles deeply, eyes overflowing with love.
“I’m so lucky to have you” he whispers.
Nanami feels overwhelmed with the amount of love overflowing inside of him. He runs the two of you a warm bath and places you gently in between his legs. He rubs soothing circles on your shoulders and places delicate kisses along your skin.
“You’re so soft with me tonight” you giggle.
It’s not that you hate his gentle side. It’s actually your favorite part of him.
“What? I can’t love my beautiful wife?” he chuckles as he wraps his arms around you, engulfing you in a deep hug. He holds you there for a moment placing his head in the crook of your neck to dwell in your scent.You smile gliding your fingers through his hair.
“I love you too,” you whisper.
It’s in the bed when Nanami feels he can really show you his love. His face is pushed between your legs taking in your essence. His cock feels achingly hard pressed against the fabric of the sheets but all he can think about is your pleasure. His tongue licks long strips between your folds sending shivers through your body. He smiles at the way you tremble for him and he’s barely even done anything to you yet. His tongue feels like heaven presses against your core, licking and sucking. You’ve never felt so blissed out before. Your back arches off the bed as you take in all that he gives you. Your hands grip onto his hair pulling as you whine at the way he dips his tongue in and out of your hole.
“Stay still for me angel, I want to enjoy my dessert” he groans before pushing his face back into your heat. He gives small pecks to your inner thighs. His arms wrap around your legs pulling you to the edge of the bed so he can really dig in.
“Taste so fucking good baby, I can never get enough”his breath fans against your core as he breathesin your essence.
He leaves you barely functioning every time he’s with you.
“K-kento please I-”
“It’s okay baby let go for me” Nanami takes you in, all of you. He sounds so messy slurping your juices. His tongue laps at your clit eagerly cleaning you up. Nanami has never been such a messy eater like this. He usually would take his time indulging in all that you were but right now he can’t see past his hunger for you. His desire to taste you, to be inside of you, to have you in every way possible takes all control of him.
Your hands push his body away but Nanami is much stronger wrapping his arms around your thighs pulling you impossibly closer.
“S-shit ken I don’t think I can take it” you whimper as your body vibrates from your orgasm.
“Oh come on I know you can give me another pretty baby” he coos into your core “Just one more and then I want to put a baby in you”
He groans as he licks hungrily at your cunt. Your mind feels like it’s running a mile per minute trying to contain yourself. Nanami’s hands know no boundaries. He rubs up and down your body while his eyes watch you fall apart for him.
“So pretty,” he breathes.
He’s eating as if he has never had a meal before. He devours you, your essence, your mind your soul is all his for the taking tonight.
“Ken” you pant tapping his shoulder. “Wait ken I-” You’re cut off by your own moan.
Nanami hums a reply,his mouth too busy to use words.
“Please I think I’m gonna” you can barely get the sentence out before your second orgasm of the night comes flooding in. You squeeze your legs together trapping his head. Nanami’s tongue continues it’s abuse. He has plans on ruining you for the night.
“Fuck it’s too much ken” you whine as you run up the sheets.
Nanami pulls away with a huff.
“You won’t even let me finish my meal,” he stands stroking his cock above your shaking figure.
He grabs your thighs pulling you closer.
“I guess I have to fuck some manners into you”
He dips the tip of his cock into your entrance while his eyes watch your reaction.
Your mouth drops into an ‘o’ shape at the feeling of him sinking himself fully into you.
“Mmm fuck angel, I’m gonna put a baby in you tonight.” He groans.
His hips rock into you slowly gaining a consistent pace. Nanami loves the expressions you make during sex. He pays attention to you all the time but tonight is different. Tonight he wants to memorize every dimple, beauty mark and freckle you have. His hands roam your body, memorizing each of your curves. His thrusts are filled with lust and passion. He leans down to kiss you deeply. He sinks his cock into you as his lips dance against yours. His heart feels like it might explode.
“I’m so fucking proud of you baby, Taking my cock so well”
He feels like he might burst. He wants to hold on, to feel the way your cunt sucks him in. You’re so intoxicating, your body always leaves him in a trance.
He sits up gripping your legs and pushing them to your chest so that he could see how your pussy devours him.
“Look at my good girl taking my cock so well” he bites his lip staring down at where the two of you connect.
Your moans paired with his groans fill the room. Your body jolts back and forth from his thrust.
“So good” You chant, too far gone to think of anything else.
“I know, I know my love” he groans as he rolls his hips into you.
He’s never felt himself losing control like this before. His thrusts are getting sloppy. He’s panting and moaning whispering about how much he loves your pussy.
“Such a good- fuck good girl for me” his voice is shaking.
If this was going to be his last time making love to you he was going to make sure you knew how good you made him feel.
“Fuck, love you’re gonna milk me dry” he groans “I promise I’m gonna give you a baby”
He looks down, meeting your tear filled eyes.
“Gonna put a baby right here” he growls as he presses his hand down onto your stomach where he knows his cock is.
You let out a loud cry. Nanami is surprised he can still hear the wet sounds of your hole.
You feel yourself growing closer to your orgasm.
“Don’t you dare cum without me,” .
He knows your body better than you. He knows you like the back of his hand, that’s why he knows you’ll be okay without him. He would be a mess without you but you’re strong, stronger than any sorcerer he has ever known.
“I want to cum with you, make this special” he whispers.
His fingers grip onto your legs as he thrusts wildly into you. Your walls squeeze around him so tight he’s sure he won’t last much longer. He lets your legs go and leans down into the crook of your neck.
“Fuck Angel you ready?” he breathes
“Yes! Yes please” you whine.
He fucks you at an animalistic pace. He squeezes his eyes shut as a single tear falls down his cheek.
“I love you, I love you-fuck I love you so much” he chants into your skin as he fucks the both of you through an orgasm.
He slowly comes down, listening to the way you catch your breath. He wants to remember the patters of your heart beat calming down from an orgams. He wants to stay like this forever, stuck in time with you. He pulls out hissing at the sudden release. He lays beside you stuck in his thoughts until you place a hand on his cheek pulling him back.
“Tonight was beautiful” you say staring into his eyes.
Nanami sits still admiring your smile. How could someone be so perfect. He places his hand above yours.
“Do you remember when I first asked you to marry me?” he chuckles “You cried so much and couldn’t stop staring at your ring” he chuckles reminiscing .
“Everywhere I went I was showing people the ring, it’s a beautiful ring” you laugh
“You kept referring to yourself as Mrs. Nanami” he smiles feeling his eyes growing teary.
“I’ve loved every minute since you put that ring on your finger” he presses a gentle kiss to your lips “Loving you has been the most amazing part of my life”
You laugh “Why are you talking like we don’t have forever Mr.Nanami?” You pull him into you covering his face in small kisses “I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with you and make a beautiful family” you say looking at him.
Nanami can only pray for forever with you. If tomorrow was the last time he’d get to see you he would make this moment last a lifetime. He’d find you in any universe, life or place. You were his soulmate. He’d recognize you in a world of eternal darkness. He was never really a religious man but he silently makes a prayer to whatever God that’s willing to listen to watch over you.
“Do you think we would be together in another life?” you whisper
“I think we’d be together even if we were rocks” he smiles widely “I’d find you in any life and do it all over again.” He pulls you in close so his lips can brush against yours “That’s how much I love you Mrs. Nanami”
#nanami smut#nanami fluff#jjk nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujustu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#angelshubnetwork
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main masterlist | the boys masterlist
summary: soldier boy doesn’t realize just how scared of him you truly are
pairing: soldier boy x female reader
rating: R for language, mature themes
word count: 5.2k
warnings: please read! language, mentions of sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, drugging, violence, forced purging (to prevent possible death), briefly mentioned nudity (not in a smutty way), much darker than anything i’ve published before
author’s note: this started out as a small idea but i got really carried away lol.
another note: sorry for kinda ghosting after uploading the last fic, my brain hates me 🙃 i can’t promise i won’t “disappear” again like immediately after uploading this so thank you in advance for any/all feedback/comments 💞💞
It was late at night (more like early morning) when you were arguing with Butcher at the door.
“Don’t you dare leave me here alone with him!” you seethed.
“C’mon, love, the old cunt’s gonna be asleep the whole time I’m gone.”
Your teeth clenched at the idea of being alone in the house with Soldier Boy, but if Billy didn’t go now to “run an errand” he’d probably have to go later that day anyway.
“Fine,” you sighed. “But if ‘the old cunt’ lays a fucking finger on me I swear to god Butcher!”
“I’ll be back by nine.”
**
A loud knock on your door woke you up.
“Hey! Sweetheart!” Soldier Boy’s voice shouted from the other side. “You up?”
“I am now,” you mumbled to yourself angrily. 7:26 your clock read.
“I heard that,” Soldier Boy said.
Shit, you thought. “What do you want?”
“The stupid TV isn’t fuckin’ working, I need you to come and work your magic for me.”
You sighed. You couldn’t ignore him at this point, that’d most likely just anger him further. If he wanted to he’d just break down the door and drag you out to the living room.
“C’mon toots, don’t be a bitch about it,” he exclaimed.
“Screw you,” you mumbled.
“Hey!” Soldier Boy exclaimed. “What’d I just fuckin’ say!” He tried opening the door but you’d obviously locked it.
“I-I’ll be out in a second,” you told him.
“That’s more like it,” he mumbled back.
You quickly got out of bed (whole outfit still on, just in case Soldier Boy had tried something in the night) and hurried to the door before you opened it. There he stood, the strongest man alive. You gulped nervously as he didn’t move and stayed blocking your way out.
He eyed you up and down obnoxiously, smirking at the sight and making your heart beat faster.
“Same outfit as last night, I see,” he said.
“S-So?” you asked, trying to mask the pure fear this man instilled in you. “I just like these clothes, is all.” He didn’t say anything, just kept smirking at you. “You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday, too, you know!”
“So you have been checking me out.” He nodded a little, the smirk still on his face.
“Did you want me to help you with the TV or did you just wake me up to be a dick?”
“TV,” he grumbled, “but would it kill you to be polite once in a while?”
“Would it kill you to move out of the way so I can head downstairs?”
He furrowed his brows before he rolled his eyes and stepped to the side; “After you, princess,” he mocked. You left your bedroom and he followed you downstairs to where the perfectly functioning TV hung on the wall.
You hated the way Soldier Boy eyed you as you took the remote out from the cabinet beside the TV and turned it on.
“It seems to be working fine?” you said, wanting to take his attention off of your ass. “What were you trying to watch?”
“Uh…how bout you pick something for us?” he offered.
“Excuse me?” you practically scoffed.
“C’mon, sit down and watch with me,” he said. You turned around, expecting to see him sitting on the couch, but he was now standing about a yard away from you. “Butcher seems to be gone…” He took a step towards you. “We’ve got the whole house to ourselves…” Another step. “Why don’t we have some fun?” He reached out and lightly touched your cheek, traced down the side of your face, and tilted your chin up to look him in the eyes.
“Soldier Boy—”
“I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me,” he interrupted you. “I know your heart starts racing when I walk into a room, I know it beats even faster when I get close. I know you want me, don’t even try to fuckin’ deny it.”
“P-Please—”
“Oh, I like a woman who knows when to beg,” he chuckled lowly as he bent down to kiss you.
“Please don’t hurt me, please,” you said quickly, tears stinging your eyes as they threatened to fall. “I-I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you, I-I didn’t mean it! Please don’t kill me!”
“Kill you?” He stood up straight, pulling his hand up off your face and putting it up in defense. “Kill you?” There was a moment of silence as he intensely looked at your reaction to him getting so close. “You…You’re scared of me, aren’t you?”
You nodded slightly, worried you might upset him as his face fell. He seemed almost saddened by the fact you didn’t want him near you.
“But…I’m a hero,” he scoffed slightly. “Why would you be scared of me?”
“Please don’t take it personally,” you said. “Just let me set up the TV for you and go back to my room…please?”
“You’re fuckin’ terrified right now, aren’t you?” he asked and again you nodded, again he scoffed.
“Can you blame me?” you asked. “I-If I rub you the wrong way you could snap my neck like a chicken bone without breaking a sweat.”
“But I…” He continued looking at you with confusion that seemed to be laced with curiosity. “I wouldn’t. I mean, I know I get angry sometimes but I’d never hurt you?”
“You wouldn’t be the first hero to turn on me,” you told him quietly. Soldier Boy paused and thought about what to do next. He’d never been in a situation like this before; standing alone with someone who was genuinely scared of him, someone that didn’t trust a hero like himself.
“Just uh… Just turn on a movie and you can go,” he said before he took a seat on the couch. “Another one from my time, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure,” you said; a small, forced smile on your lips. You found a movie you thought he’d like and pressed play for him before tossing the remote on the couch and leaving.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he called out, making you stop in your tracks. “I’m sorry you don’t trust me, but I need you to know that I’d never hurt you.”
“O-Okay, Soldier Boy,” you said before you hurried out of the room, up the stairs, and back into your room. “Billy Butcher I am going to fucking strangle you,” you mumbled to yourself.
**
“You’re up before noon,” Butcher remarked, seeing Soldier Boy in the living room. “And you got the TV workin’ on your own! Atta boy, gov’.”
“Actually, Y/n set it up for me,” Soldier Boy said.
Butcher sighed at that, “So, you’ve talked to her today then, huh?”
“Yeah, why?” the Supe asked before Butcher left to see you.
He knocked lightly on your door before you opened it.
“Hello—” Butcher started but a swift slap to the face shut him up pretty quickly.
“Fuck you, Butcher!”
“Did he hurt you?” Butcher asked, holding his cheek.
“No, but he almost fucking did, asshole! How dare you leave me alone with him like that!”
“Oh come off it! If you’re still in one piece then all’s well that ends well, am I right?” he said with a smirk and a shrug.
“You ever do something like that again and I swear to god William!” You stared daggers at him.
“My ‘errand’ didn’t go as planned anyways, love,” he told you. “I’ve gotta figure out another way to find where they’re hiding Homelander.”
“Or whatever’s left of him,” you mumbled.
**
“Alright, I’m off,” Butcher announced, a full duffle bag in his hand as he headed to the door.
“What?” you exclaimed from the kitchen as you hurried to get between him and his destination. “What’re you talking about?”
“Everything okay?” Soldier Boy asked from the couch near the TV.
“Everything’s fine, gov’, you keep watching your movie,” Butcher said.
“Can I talk to you outside for a minute?” you asked Butcher, you didn’t want Soldier Boy to hear what you were about to say.
“After you then, love,” Butcher obliged.
The second the door closed behind the two of you, you let him have it.
“Don’t you fucking dare leave me here alone with him again, I cannot fucking take it!”
“It’ll only be for a little while, you’ll be fine!” Butcher said.
“Then let me come with you!”
“What, and leave the cunt here alone? He’ll burn the house down trying to make himself a fuckin’ sandwich,” Butcher exclaimed. “He needs a fuckin’ babysitter and that’s you.”
“Why me? Why can’t you call Hughie? Or Frenchie? Or, better than all of us combined, Kimiko?” you asked.
“Hughie’s outta state, Frenchie and Kimiko are both knee-deep in shit sussing out another lead on Homelander’s whereabouts.”
You sighed heavily, you saw his point but the thought of being trapped again made your stomach hurt; “Please don’t leave me alone with him, Butcher. You know how much he fucking terrifies me, and you know exactly why.”
“I’m sorry I gotta do this to you, love, but you know he’s our only shot at killin’ Homelander once and fucking for all.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“Only a day or two.”
You again conceded, against your better judgment, and let Butcher leave you with Soldier Boy.
“What was that all about?” the Supe asked when you walked back into the house and locked the door.
You forced a smile; “Nothing, Soldier Boy,” you said, “dinner will be ready soon.”
You didn’t know Soldier Boy heard everything you and Butcher had said.
**
“Looks great, toots.” Soldier Boy walked up behind you in the kitchen, not missing the flinch you threw when he got a little too close.
“Thanks,” you mumbled.
“You still that scared of me?” he asked, leaning on the counter and trying to get you to look up at him.
“If you can hear my heart, I’m sure you’ve got something that can smell my fear too.”
“I know I make your heart race, your breathing becomes slightly quicker when I get close, and I’ve noticed your pupils tend to change when you notice I’m next to you.”
“So why is my fear such a fuckin’ surprise, then?” you scoffed.
“I guess I didn’t realize it was fear making your heart race and your pupils dilate slightly.”
“What, you thought I was into you or something?” you asked half-heartedly before you looked over at him and realized that was exactly what he had thought. “Oh.”
“So, yeah, I was surprised when I realized you didn’t like havin’ me around,” he admitted. You almost felt guilty for a moment but it quickly disappeared as you remembered why you were scared of him in the first place. “Can you at least tell me why, though?” he asked as you shoveled his food onto a plate. “Why are you so scared of me? I get that I’m stronger than you but, no offense, isn’t Butcher too? Isn’t like… almost every man out there?”
“One, I trust Butcher. I’ve known him for years and he’s been nothing but good; he’s an asshole, sure, but he’s good when it counts. And two, I don’t spend time alone with ‘almost every man out there’ so that does not help your case at all.” You handed him the plate. “Here’s your food.”
“Thanks, dollface.” He took it from you and you started getting your own plate ready. He watched your every move and his brows knitted with confusion as he did so.
“You can go sit down,” you told him. “You don’t need to watch me like a hawk.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just still tryin’ to figure you out I guess.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you scoffed.
“You know I’m a hero, right? I’m a superhero, and I would never hurt you?”
“Look, no offense, but the last time I trusted a Supe it really didn’t turn out well and I’m not gonna let myself give you even an inch of trust because you are even stronger than the last guy.”
“What happened? What’d he do?” Soldier Boy asked and you didn’t respond. “C’mon, you owe me that much! I’ve been nothing but good to you, yet you’re treating me like I did whatever this other Supe did to you!”
“I don’t owe you shit, Soldier Boy,” you snapped and you could’ve sworn you saw genuine hurt flash over his features. “If you must know, it was The Deep. I trusted him, let him be good to me, and it all blew up in my face in the most awful way I could’ve imagined.”
“I’m sorry, honey.” He reached out to touch your shoulder but you flinched away from him.
“Please, don’t touch me. I get that you’re trying to be sweet or whatever but please don’t. It’s not doing what you think it’s doing, Soldier Boy.”
He nodded and backed away slightly.
“My name’s Ben,” he told you. You looked at him with a sense of shock. “My real name’s Ben, you don’t have to say ‘Soldier Boy’ all the time, you can just say ‘Ben’.”
“Okay, Ben, while we’re on the topic of names, you could ease up on the ‘toot’s and ‘doll’s and ‘dollface’s and ‘honey’s and ‘sweetheart’s you know. Or at the very least stick to one pet name.”
He smiled at your honesty, hoping it was a sign you might be scared of him just a tad less.
“Think I’ll just stick to callin’ you sweetheart, then,” he replied.
“Thank god, I was really starting to hate dolls.”
That made him laugh deeply before he walked to the table and took his seat.
Don’t you fucking dare, you thought to yourself when you felt a feeling of almost-not-absolute-fear-and-disgust wash over you for a split second.
**
“Look, I’m sorry, but—”
“You’re sorry?” you scoffed into the phone. “Butcher get the fucking hell back here!”
“I can’t, I’ve gotta spend another night over here. Apparently—”
“I don’t give a rat's ass why you have to stay, I am begging you to please get back here now!” Tears were stinging your eyes as your voice cracked.
“I’m sorry—”
“If he does anything to me, anything at all, I’ll never fucking forgive you for leaving me alone with him, Butcher. You understand me, William? Never!”
“He’s not gonna hurt you,” Butcher sighed. “Just keep your distance and be nice to him. He does have a bit of a temper, maybe he just needs to relieve some tension…”
“That’s not funny!” You gritted your teeth as a few tears slipped down your cheeks. “When are you getting back here?”
“A few more days,” he replied.
Before he said another word you hung up on him, furious that he thought it was okay to leave you alone with Soldier Boy.
Though the Supe was in his own room upstairs, he still heard every word you said. He’d never admit it, but his heart clenched at the thought of how scared you were right now.
**
It had been over a week since you’d seen him when Butcher finally got back with some new information on Homelander’s location. He had a plan to find the exact coordinates and he wasn’t going to let his morals get in the way.
“Well, well, you clean up nice,” Butcher commented when you stepped out of the bathroom.
“Shut up,” you grumbled. You were wearing a short royal blue dress with a deep v-neckline and almost no back, the silver heels and necklace tied the otherwise seemingly plain outfit together nicely. “If this stupid plan of yours gets me killed I’m gonna come back and haunt you for the rest of your fuckin’ life.”
“Wow,” Ben beamed when he walked out of his room and saw you standing in the hall with Butcher. “You look incredible, sweetheart.”
“I look like a damn hooker,” you said.
“That’s the idea, love.” Butcher smirked.
**
A high-ranking Vought employee had been seen at a certain bar almost every night for the last two months and it was now your job to get him to trust you. If he trusted you enough, he would take you back to his place and you could find out any and all information he had on Homelander.
The plan seemed simple enough, yet Ben seemed more anxious about the situation than you were.
“Are you sure this is safe?” Soldier Boy asked when you were all seated in the van outside the bar.
“No, but if this helps us get Homelander then it’s safe enough,” you told him.
“Besides, you’ll be in there with her,” Butcher reminded him. “And if you stay focused on keeping her safe, then I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
“How ‘bout we come up with a code word or something?” Ben suggested as he put in the earpiece Butcher handed him.
“How about ‘Soldier Boy’?” you said, Ben shook his head.
“And what happens if you need to say ‘Soldier Boy’ but you don’t need help?” he countered.
“How about…Ben?” You smiled a little when he nodded.
“I’ll be listening closely to the whole conversation, if you say ‘Ben’ I’ll come and get you outta there.”
“Sounds good.”
“Alright,” Butcher interrupted, “Soldier Boy keep me updated and if all goes well, Y/n, we won’t be seeing you again til later tonight.” He winked obnoxiously.
“If this guy genuinely tries to sleep with me I’ll break his fuckin’ nose,” you said flatly. “Info or no info, I ain’t letting him see me naked.”
**
Ben had gone in about a minute before you did and found a nice spot near where he knew you’d be sitting with the target. The second you walked in his eyes were glued. He stayed true to his word and listened to every word you and the target said.
“This seat taken, handsome?” you asked the man who then smirked at you.
“It is now,” he said. “And what’s your name, gorgeous?”
“Goldie,” you lied as you took your seat. “What’s yours?”
“Steven. Let me buy you a drink?” he offered and called the bartender over when you nodded.
“Vodka martini,” you ordered. “So Steven, what do you do for work?”
“I work for Vought,” he said and you faked an impressed look.
“No way!” you gasped. “Oh my god, do you know The Seven?”
“I do,” he said with a nod, clearly full of himself.
“That is so cool,” you continued stroking his ego. You nodded in thanks when the bartender handed you your drink and you took a sip. “I’ve never met someone so important!”
“You wanna know a secret?” he asked, you nodded enthusiastically. He leaned over so he could whisper into your ear; “I’m actually in The Deep’s close, personal circle.”
Your eyes went wide for a split second before you got a hold of yourself and whispered back; “Really?”
“Uh-huh,” he said. “I could introduce you if you’d like.” You pulled away from him slightly but still tried your best to keep yourself calm.
“Oh, that’s alright,” you shook your head, “I’m sure he’s too busy for little old me.”
“I’m never too busy.” The voice behind you made your whole body tense up and Ben could tell you were in trouble. You hadn’t said the code word though and he knew both you and Butcher would be mad if he screwed up the mission.
“Butcher,” Ben said into the intercom attached to his jacket, “Deep’s here.”
Butcher paused for a moment before he answered; “Don’t freak out. Y/n can handle herself and unless she says ‘Ben’ you don’t make a move, you understand Soldier Boy?”
“Understood,” he replied.
“You know,” The Deep said, still standing behind you, “I’ve had my eye on you since you walked in here, gorgeous.”
“Y-You have?” you asked, wondering if he recognized you or if your face just blurred together with all the other women he had assaulted. You took another sip of the drink in your hand and continued to keep a close eye on it to make sure it didn’t get spiked.
“I have,” he replied. “Now, why don’t you let my friend Steven here show you a nice time, then take you back to my place at Vought Tower?”
“S-Sounds good,” you trembled. “I-I’ll see you later tonight then, Deep.” You took another, smaller sip.
“Wonderful,” he said before he bent down and placed a kiss on your cheek. “Can’t wait to see this dress on my floor.” With that, he walked away and you let out a sigh of relief.
“Fish fucker’s left the building,” Ben told Butcher. “You gonna tail him or are we still focusing on Steven?”
“Stay focused on Steven, we can kill fish fucker another day,” Butcher said.
“So, you want another drink?” Steven asked you. “Or would you rather head over to the tower?”
“You know, I’d rather spend the night at your place, Steven.” You faked a sweet smile.
“Really?” He raised a brow as a smirk returned to his face. “So, another drink, then?”
“How about I just let you take me home?” The moment you stood up you knew something was wrong. You instantly felt dizzy and sat back down. “Ben, help,” you whispered when you realized exactly what was happening.
“Looks like we’re heading to the tower, Goldie,” Steven said. “Thanks as always, Pat.” He handed a couple hundreds to the bartender.
Ben came up behind Steven and pinned him against the bar with one hand, his other hand resting on the bar itself a few inches from where you were now slouched over.
“What the hell did you do to her, fuckface?” Ben seethed.
“I didn’t do anything! What’s your problem?” Steven yelled, drawing attention to the scene unfolding.
Ben took the back of the man’s head and brought it up half a foot before he slammed it back down onto the wood.
“Tell me what you fuckin’ did or I’ll squish you like a bug,” Ben yelled as he applied more and more pressure to Steven’s head.
“Roofie!” Steven yelled. “Ask the bartender!”
“Ben don’t kill him,” Butcher told him through the earpiece.
“He deserves to fuckin’ die, Butcher,” Ben replied.
“Yes he does but he still has information that we need. If you’ve gotta kill someone, kill the bartender who spiked the fuckin’ drink!”
Ben looked up from gravely injured Steven and saw the bartender cowering in the corner.
“Ben,” you whispered and reached out to touch the hand he still had on the counter. “Ben get me outta here.” His angered expression slowly faded as he looked down into your hooded eyes. “Please?”
“Yeah, I’ve got you,” Soldier Boy said before he quickly scooped you up in his arms and carefully kept your head resting on his shoulder. “Hey, barkeep,” he shouted and the man looked over at him. “Mark my words; no matter where you go or what you do I will find you and tear you limb from fucking limb for hurting her. Your days are fucking numbered.”
Ben hurried you out to the truck and sat you down on the seat next to his so you could lean on him if you wanted, or alternatively, you could lean against the window if you still didn’t want him touching you.
“Stay with her, I’m gonna go figure out how much they gave her and if we need to take her to the hospital,” Butcher told Soldier Boy before leaving.
“Ben,” you slurred, still barely able to open your eyes, “Ben what—what’d you do to me?”
“God fuckin’ damn it, Butcher,” he mumbled under his breath. He blamed Billy entirely for the operation going sideways and for you ending up in danger. “Fuck, you need to purge, sweetheart.” He positioned you so your head was hanging out the side door and stuck his fingers down your throat, ignoring your angered hits to his arms. “This is for your own good, stop fighting me.”
You hurled out the side door, Ben held onto you tightly and made sure you didn’t fall out or get hurt.
“Please just let me go,” you whispered when he took his fingers out, satisfied with the amount of possibly deadly alcohol you were able to get out of your system.
“I know you’re scared right now, but I can’t let you go,” he told you. “I’m sorry.”
Butcher got back to the car pretty quickly, a worried expression on his face.
“How much did they give her?” Ben asked.
“Too fuckin’ much,” Butcher replied. “We’ve gotta make her puke it all up or she might not make it.”
**
You woke up on the couch to the sound of Butcher and Ben arguing in the kitchen, a splitting headache quickly made itself known when you opened your eyes fully.
“This is your fault, Butcher,” Soldier Boy yelled, “you and your stupid obsession to find Homelander. How dare you put her life at risk like that!”
“Hey I had the strongest man alive in there backing her up, so how the hell did you screw up so badly?”
There was a pause as you kept listing, a part of you was scared you’d start to hear punches being thrown.
Ben shook his head as he looked at his ‘boss’; “You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you know that? She’s been scared outta her fuckin’ mind and yet you just keep on pushin’ her and pushin’ her. And for what? To kill a Supe that’s probably dead already? You know Homelander ain’t a threat since I fuckin’ burned him, yet you still put someone you say you care about in danger.”
“‘Scared outta her fuckin’ mind’?” Butcher scoffed. “What’re you on about?”
“I know she’s terrified of me,” Ben admitted. “I know that you know she is, too. And yet you keep leaving her alone with me, why? Just to make her life worse? To make her feel less safe than she already does?”
“You sayin’ she’s got a reason to be scared of you, then?” Butcher asked. “Thought you were supposed to be some kinda hero?”
“Of course I’d never hurt her! But I’m still a Supe and I know you hate Supe’s. There’s no way in hell you trust me at all or you wouldn’t have her babysitting me every time you leave the fuckin’ house. What I don’t get is why you’re so comfortable leaving her here with the strongest man in the world when you think I’m a fucking monster.” Ben walked over to the fridge and took a bottled water out before he grabbed a cup and left the kitchen.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said quietly as he entered the living room. “I know you’re up, do you want some water?”
“What happened?” you asked as he squatted on the floor in front of the couch and made eye contact with you.
“We can fill you in later, you should probably drink,” he said and held out the two items in his hands. “Would you rather the bottle or a cup?”
“Bottle’s fine,” you replied and you slowly sat up, putting a hand to your head before you took the water from him.
“You need some Aspirin or something?” he asked.
“I’m sure Butcher ‘ll bring me some,” you said, making Ben’s brows furrow a little before he nodded with realization.
“You still don’t trust me much, do you?”
“Sorry,” you mumbled before beginning to drink the water. “What am I wearing, by the way?” you asked and gestured to the dirty, large black tee you had on over the blue dress.
“Oh, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck nervously, “it was on the car floor, I think it’s Butcher’s. I put it on you when uh, when you were kinda out of it and… your boob might’ve kinda… popped outta your dress.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “I didn't… like I didn’t look or anything, I just saw the shirt and immediately put it over you.”
“Sure.” You nodded before you continued downing the bottled water.
“I’ll go get Butcher to bring you some painkillers,” Ben said before leaving the room.
**
You’d just gotten out of the shower and put on a new set of clean clothes when Butcher stopped you in the hall.
“How’s your head?” he asked.
“Better,” you replied flatly, still pretty frustrated with him.
“I’m sorry I was such an idiot,” he sighed, “I shoulda told Soldier Boy to get you hell outta there the second the fish fucker showed his ugly mug.”
“We needed intel on Homelander,” you reminded him. “My safety was just the price we had to pay.”
“And that was a fucked up currency for me to gamble with,” he said. “I’m sorry I’ve been so obsessed and I’m sorry for leaving you alone with Soldier Boy so much the past couple of weeks.”
You shrugged a little; “It’s no big deal.”
“I want you to know I’m done tryin’ to find Homelander.”
“Seriously?” Your eyes went wide and you furrowed your brows.
“The cunt’s most likely down for the count anyway thanks to granny fucker downstairs and there are other Supes that are much bigger threats right now anyway. Like The Deep, for example, and the number of people he’s paying to help him get away with assaults like last night. I’ve been talking with Hughie and as it turns out, he’s already had his eye on a handful of other bartenders workin’ for fish dick.”
“So…what? You’re saying you’re gonna go back to your old job at Supe affairs and start hunting down these assholes in a more mentally-healthy way?” you asked.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
**
When you entered the living room you noticed Ben readjusting his position on the couch, as if to try and make himself appear less threatening.
“Hey,” you said quietly, a small smile on your lips as you sat down about two feet from him on the same couch.
“Hey,” he replied. “How’re you feeling?”
“Better.” You nodded. “You need help with the TV?” you asked, picking up the remote from where it sat on the coffee table in front of you.
“Yeah, thanks,” he replied. He watched you intently as you ‘worked your magic’ on the electronic contraption.
“I know I was completely at your mercy last night, Ben,” you said, focused on the TV and not looking over at him. “And I know you could’ve easily taken advantage of the fact I was out of it.”
“But I didn’t.”
“I know that, too.”
“But you still don’t trust me?”
“I want to,” you said. You reached out your left hand and gently placed it on his right one. He looked down at where your hands were touching and smiled softly. “I want to trust you, I just need time to get to know you.”
“You sayin’ you wanna get to know me?” he asked with a bit of a smirk before you nodded. The two of you stayed like that for a moment before Soldier Boy broke the silence; “So, where do we go from here?”
“How about we watch something together?” you suggested.
“That sounds great, sweetheart.”
#the boys#soldier boy x reader#the boys x y/n#the boys x you#the boys tv#the boys fanfic#soldier boy fanfiction#soldier boy fic#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x female reader#soldier boy x y/n#soldier boy fanfic#by jean#by mind empty just fictional people
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