#how do I fucking fix this I hate it
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Having the worst time currently with sensory issues, anxiety, OCD, depression, long COVID, all of it. On top of that I’ve got autistic burnout and I can’t soothe it bc I can’t do any of the things I like without careful calculation on how that would annoy someone or I wouldn’t do some chore instead or the mental block keeping me from doing anything other than forcing myself to do absolutely anything even while I really REALLY want to and I can feel it all slipping away the longer I don’t do it and it makes me so damn depressed
#vent#i can’t even mindlessly watch a video. i randomly pause and just sit there in misery???#how do I fucking fix this I hate it#I have ideas I can’t fucking get out#things I wanna talk about but my language center hates me so I only have half the idea and no one can meet me halfway#bc I don’t make any fucking sense#I love art I like creating things but after so long viewing it as getting in the way of being independent#coming back to it knowing it’s actually the future I wanted and I wasted my time losing skill I have to work back to that I should have had#it’s so fuckin upsetting and stressful#and my body is just. deteriorating#I’ll bet walking outside would help but I hate my neighborhood and I can’t drive to get away from it#and also I can’t just. act independently that would cause drama bc I have to be mindful of what everyone else wants me to do#and if I disappoint them I feel like shit#I have a problem that is not medicated I know I do there’s got to be something that helps with this#I have like ZERO executive function rn and I’m oscillating between super frustrated and then#relieved that I don’t have to hurt my body for work anymore#but my brain just. atrophied over the time I spent surviving and idk if I have the strength to pull myself back up on my own?#which is terrifying and I hope it’s not true I want to have that strength#I want to get back to where I was so I can move forward instead of just barely treading water#i need something to help me focus but I don’t think adderal is what I need#I got prescribed it for a bit but I’m not sure if it was making me function normally or if I just saw it that way from a mild high#I definitely don’t need to be anymore lethargic than I already am#my eye lids keep fucking twitching idk if that has something to do with it but only started after I finally quit my job#i feel like I need a place I’m just alone free of outside stimulation only the things I want to feel or see#and time to just tunnel myself into creating something and come back out of it after it’s run it’s course#I need horse blinders or something and a work table and a bunch of inspiring stuff to look through#and then to just make something by myself without worrying about time
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Reminder that Stirringjuice/Ven themself has said that TMC is not fetish content. Kister’s works are NOT an extension of what was described in the allegations document. If you don’t want to consume TMC content anymore, fine (best you don’t— not in a way that gives Kister money anyway), but don’t spread misinformation.
EDIT: after rereading Ven’s callout document and finally being able to access ALL the screenshots he attached, I have decided that I will no longer support him. I will not go back to supporting Alex Kister yet, but I cannot support a blatant ableist transphobe either.
link to annotation doc: (not mine) https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vReErDatnpQ_h3W-WlqrmzmPN26-UyDwLVwBKmHV09WhVZtdZQM44HRxvoV0ZTz8Ho-NaBVKYxjNuha/pub
Things I will be addressing:
Why I do not support Ven (separate from other victims)
Stuff that Alex Kister DID do wrong, even if the allegations were exaggerated/faked/done out of malice
The allegations and victims themselves.
WHY I DONT SUPPORT VEN
First of all, this ⬇️ (scroll down its below the blue highlighted ss. Formatting issues sorry.). This is a ss of Ven’s (now deleted, now archived post) response to how many people are calling him transphobic for his transmisogynistic comments in his document, and how he had basically outed Alex. Instead of saying something like “it wasn’t transphobic — I had to out Alex— it was necessary for the victims/proof/whatever”, Ven just says that if Alex didn’t want to be outed or subjected to transphobia, he shouldn’t have been a “groomer” (Ven later says that he had misused the word “groomer”. Everyone that Alex had interacted with in a sexual or romantic manner had been an adult, and had fully explicitly VERBALLY consented.)
However. Even if your opponent is a bad person, you do NOT have the right to be transphobic. EVER. criticize them on whatever they’ve done wrong, hold them accountable in a balanced and civilized manner— etc. Being protected from bigotry/ not getting misgendered, privacy, legal counsel— these are all examples of RIGHTS.
When you start denying something based on whether someone deserves it or not, that “something” has become a privilege.
By stating that his transphobia was excused because Alex is a supposedly bad person, Ven has stated that not being subjected to transphobia is a privilege.
here’s the link: (takes forever to load the keep reading portion but it works for me) https://web.archive.org/web/20240317125855/https://www.tumblr.com/stirringjuicee/745117180204548096/alex-kister-and-actively-using-being-trans-to-lure
Screenshot of the post below, along with something from the callout doc (annotated by a tumblr user. The non-highlighted color text is the annotated bit.
—— ss from ven response (click. It IS An image it just looks like text)
—-
now onto some more details.
Ven, or StirringJuice, made the first allegations document against Alex Kister. He had stated himself that he does not consider himself a victim, just a friend of the victims who wanted to spread the word.
Ven starts the document off by describing his past relationship with Alex Kister. He also includes screenshots of text messages from Alex— which often contradict or have no relation with what he’s saying. This is why it’s important to look at the screenshots, guys!
Most of the toxicity in Ven’s relationship with Alex stemmed from Ven’s refusal to honestly his boundaries or feelings. He told Alex that he was comfortable with the sexual comments, he told Alex that he was comfortable being just Friends with Benefits, and he told Alex that they were welcome to vent to him any time <- all of this is corroborated by the text screenshots that Ven himself posted.
In Ven’s text messages, we can see him suggesting that Alex gets a therapist. Great! Nothing wrong there. And then you actually look at the ss:
(Ven is the blue. These ss are linked in the callout document.)
First of all. You cannot force ANYONE to get mental help, regardless of whether you think it’s for their own well-being. If their behavior is harming you, leave. But even the worst people on earth deserve autonomy for these kinds of things. Ven literally states that he had FORCED Alex to get a therapist, and you can see him admit it in the messages above as well.
after these ss links (labeled part 9 in the doc), Ven hits us with this absolute banger:
“[Alex] then decided to go off his meds.”
Someone had already said this, but: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT TO OR ABOUT A MENTALLY ILL PERSON. EVER. REGARDLESS OF WHO YOU ARE, OR WHO THEY ARE. it’s an insult to every mental health community.
^ also, Alex gives a pretty good reason for going off his medication. Not that they needed to.
^highlighted text is Ven’s callout post. Purple text is a fellow tumblr user’s annotations. They have a whole post with these annotations. I’ll credit them when I’m done writing out my post. [clarification: the annotator uses “she/her” pronouns for Alex, Ven uses he/him. I use they/them because Alex was never publicly OUT as she/her before they were outed, so I’m not sure what to do]
Also: please go on the callout doc and see the “pt. 11” screenshots yourself. There’s a lot of them and I don’t want to add them here, but please go see them.
^Ven hears that Alex wants to start a new chapter with them (yknow, like redeem the toxic relationship they’ve had) and immediately assumes it’s in the romantic sense.
^Alex admits that they are not ready for a committed relationship, a good first step for smoothing over any toxicity.
^nothing else to add. Annotator did great.
^ text ss as listed under the “pt. 14” link
These are 3 out of 10 ss under the Pt. 15 link. Look at the text indicated to with the red arrow (drawn by me). Ven literally tells Alex that they “don’t understand anything ever.” They also tell Alex in a later ss (plz find it yourselves because I’m not posting all 10 photos) that they “don’t understand [their] own emotions.”
Maybe Alex was making an unhealthy decision by continuing to reach out to someone they clearly had an unhealthy relationship with. But these responses are borderline abusive, especially when aimed at someone who suffers from paranoia.
A huge chunk of the entire callout doc is Ven venting about his relationship with Alex. This relationship is not abusive, it is toxic on both sides. The fact that Ven put this much focus on these barely relevant details— even when the topic was the victims, not Ven himself— suggests that he did this out of petty vindictiveness. If the allegations are true, the victims deserved a BETTER PERSON and a BETTER FRIEND to share their story. Not someone who did it purely because it was en excuse to get revenge. If it wasn’t revenge, why add all these details??
(funny thing— the whole doc. Would be more believable if Ven hadn’t added all this stuff. He destroyed his credibility before even getting to the allegations).
the one below has more transphobia and general assholery than ableism.
^apparently once you are out of the closet, you are not allowed to go back or feel ashamed. Else you are lying and manipulative. Thanks, Ven.
I am done posting screenshots from the annotation document. Please, PLEASE read it in full. I will tag it in the comments. There are so so so many good points.
STUFF THAT ALEX HAS DEFINITELY DONE WRONG, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE ALLEGATIONS ARE TRUE OR FALSE:
(Orange text is annotator, black is original doc).
Venting to/ Relying on a minor fan for mental health support (I think it was Mitchie). That’s not good.
making allusions to suicide during their relationship with Ven. Joke or not, that’s unhealthy.
ALLEGATIONS/VICTIMS:
wont say much here because I’m getting tired.
some people on Reddit have been pointing out that some discord ss (not the ones I’ve shown you, those were imessage ss) look faked because there is use of military time, which is not an option on discord apparently. Other screenshots seem to use different fonts as well, further indicating forged evidence. I have fact-checked none of this and can’t verify it (not that you should be relying on my word alone, anyway).
I do not support Mitchie, since they’ve been telling people to self-harm and/or commit suicide when they point out flaws in the callout doc. I don’t care what you’ve been through. There is no excuse for that.
As for the other victims.. I find their statements fishy. However, I will not disbelieve them until more has been cleared up.
#mandela catalogue#the mandela catalogue#tmc#alex kister#alex Kister situation#fuck alex kister#tmc cesar#tmc mark#tmc gabriel#tmc au#tmc adam#tmc fanart#the mandela catalog fanart#thatcher davis#cesar torres#mandela catalouge fanart#adam murray#alex kister callout#alex kister drama#Not a big fan of how gender identity struggles are tied so closely with the actual grooming. Because. They are completely separate.#Kister’s gender identity struggles have nothing to do with their choices and I’m not a fan of how it’s been handled (based on what I’ve see#I use they them for kister here because they weren’t technically OUT as transfem#So idk if they’d be okay with people using she/her#If I were outed I wouldn’t want people to use pronouns that only a select few were meant to know. But maybe that’s just me.#No hate for those using she/her for Alex.#If pronouns are cleared up I will fix this
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Okay. Fellas. Real talk. I've seen some of you do it and I thank you profusely for doing so but can yall PLEASE credit the original artist of that piece yall kinda made into an a dtiys/art meme? That's not official art. I am point blank refusing to engage with any of these pieces that I see not doing such. (Even when it pains me to keep scrolling, because some of them are really good!! And I want them here!!! But I do have some rules for myself I try to stand firm by with this blog.)
Like you can literally see them say right there that it's fine IF YOU CREDIT. I'm fucking begging you.
I'm not mad at anyone who didn't know but I've seen SO MANY versions at this point, and I think I've seen maybe 3 or 4 of them RECENTLY include the credit. (And one with improper credit, I think?) Please. Please just. Tack it on.
#ive been sitting on this for a couple days but im very tired and i would just like us all to please be reasonable. just. edit it into your +#+ captions. please. nothing to be done abt people who've already reblogged stuff but please. please please please#respect your fellow artists enough to credit where credit is do#ooc#txt#spto#sp comic#spvtw#spvtwtg#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim vs the universe#scott pilgrim takes off#i added alt text just in case but i seriously cannot stress enough how much extensive typing like this is fucking uo my hand a bit#so if anyone wants to better/fully transcribe the screenshots ill rb it and/or edit the alt text that's currently there#also. again. im really not mad at anyone who didn't know. but like. come on guys. i know someone else made a post abt this cause i was +#+ debating adding something along these lines to that post but i figured I'd just make my own (anxietyyy *finger guns as though this is +#+somehow supposed to be the better alternative*)#edit: i hate it when i come back and find a typo that im unsure how to fix. but also even if i fixed it i shot myself in the foot queueing +#+it up already... 😑 im very tired
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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more “gay” pages posting complete homophobic garbage claiming bisexual women are lesbians
#tra homophobia#drop the t & b#of course there’s a comment calling us actual lesbians trans/biphobic 🙄#all lesbians are terfs bc homosexuality is only real if a woman is a feminist or political like what kind of homophobic logic#they think they’re so different than het men who argue all lesbians aren’t real and want a male and piv#the obsession with also equating toys to wanting a man is never ending#and i remember the poll here that showed most lesbians of course want to eat pussy most of all#and bi women wanted to use toys#like lesbians don’t want anything that looks like a dick when they have sex only bi women do and i know from experience#why the fuck would we#i wish people would stop fucking obsessing over and disecting how lesbians have sex and why#they always have to make it about males and dick#it’s socially acceptable to make creepy perverted comments always talking about or mocking lesbian sex#bi women are like why do lesbians hate us? you literally are with whole ass men calling yourselves lesbians and dykes and bonding over how#much you hate real lesbians and insinuating we aren’t real and can be fixed with conversion#therapy#people hate us so deeply for loving only women and only the female anatomy#they genuinely believe we can’t be happy being homosexuals and bring up toys as some kind of proof#the same people who can’t make women come unlike us
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i ain't no candle in the wind
#i fucking hate HATE doing backgrounds sorry if it looks wonky#yall have no idea how many times i said 'ok we're done' and 5 minutes later opened csp to fix whatever was bothering me#my art#jjba#kira8#kira yoshikage#jojolion#yoshikage is brazilian btw araki told me
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Like obviously the whole "they're just doing [x] for attention!" is completely asinine because humans are social creatures who need attention to some capacity, but also... in your narrative, does everybody do things specifically for your attention? When somebody does something drastic or shocking, is it not because they're desperate for help but just because they crave your attention specifically? Does the sun rise and set at your command as well?
#mental health#i get why people say that but it does come across like you're taking somebody's real struggles and almost whining about how...#...they're trying to steal your attention and cheat their way into your heart#and that the act of wanting attention would be a heinous act that you must insert yourself in to fix#like i see this behaviour as genuinely selfish most of the time - taking somebody's cries for help and making it about you essentially#i was listening to my dad tell a story about how somebody's *daughter* had made an attempt and everybody was talking about how...#...she had done it for attention. how fucking cruel. how fucking selfish...#...i couldn't imagine hearing people be that impertinent over my *daughter's* life#honestly that boils my blood as an *outsider* and i truly hope the family is healing#suicide tw#self harm tw#sh tw#(just for implication in the post)#ask to tag (genuine)#just hate the culture of '[they're] doing it for attention lulz' that is still popularized#which is part of the reason the tone is snappy/snarky. i think i've earned the right to be angry at how people interact with...#...this stuff and how it's doing nothing good for anybody
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#homestuck#hs#karkat vantas#sollux captor#i fucking hate you#likewise cocksucker#best friend#this is their dynamic#fun times with the friendos#in the meteor#karkats computer broke down so sollux is fixing it while also being a snark ass to him jokingly#yknow like how he loves to do
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catnessa walk cycle part FINISHED!!
“I’ll be fine on my own,” she said
“I don’t need you inside my head”
(She’ll be fine on her own, she’ll be fine on her own)
okay i fixed the floor fr this time
#blizz's art#cat!vanessa au#fnaf movie#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#fnaf au#fnaf#do i tag william or nah#I FINALLY FUCKING FIXED THE STUPID ASS FLOOR IT KEPT MOVING UP AND DOWN AT SOME CHUNKS#also i defo didnt just copy paste a chunk of the floor and space them out#also stole my floor coloring and background from the william choking catnessa scene#im so tired 😭 this took three days i think#which is actually fast but power of hyperfixation i guess#vanessa fnaf#vanessa shelly art#animation#flipaclip#i hate my life WHY IS THERE A SLIGHT WHITE OUTLINE#you can tell how pissed i am from the floor 😭😭😭#its just an 18 frame loop at 16 fps but im still proud of myself#yayyyyyyyyyy#also pls ignore the back left leg i forgot to fix the upper part changing sizes#all the other limbs are good and fixed but the back left one 😭😭😭#fun fact i powered through the background and the last of the coloring with buttercup by hippo campus in the background#long af tags <3
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can I offer you some atla (but they're mice) in these trying times
(click for better quality | individual characters under the cut)
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla katara#toph beifong#atla aang#atla zuko#atla sokka#this image ended up being SO much bigger than I intended#also fuck backgrounds me and all my homies hate backgrounds#nate.png#my art#I have been thinking about mouse ty lee all fucking day btw. so the likelihood that I will do more of these is. not 0#I do love that you can tell I slowly figured out how to draw mice as I went along#aang was the first one I did and it SHOWS#but I did Not feel like going back to fix it lmfao#mouse zuko is everything to me#mice au
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Was meant to be self-sacrifice and somehow turned into Shenanigans instead: welcome the yj core 4 being three badly-raised teenage guys and one "normal" teenage girl who Does Not Deserve This Level Of Mortification (also, there's a vampire)
----
"Okay," Tim says, and then again, a bit more breathlessly, "okay. We can do this. It's fine. It's fine? No-one's injured, and without blood their tracking won't be-"
"Shit," Cassie says. Tim's attention immediately snaps to her, which is not what she wants but also entirely what she expects.
"What?" he asks. "Did you get hurt? Are you okay?"
"No," she says, humiliation making her cheeks burn, and Tim gets even more concerned.
"No what?" he asks, and then, too fast for her to get an answer in, "No to you being okay? No to having an injury? Cassie-"
Oh god this is the worst, she thinks, because this is the punchline to the world's most misogynistic joke - an alien, a too-old baby, a socially awkward teen therapist, and a girl with- "I'm on my period," she says, and hates how squirmy embarrassment feels in her stomach.
Kon stares at her, looking vaguely panicked. Bart at least just cocks his head, but Tim can't even look at her, and he's turning pink under his mask-
"How- much blood?" Tim asks, sounding as awkwardly as she feels, and Cassie hisses.
"I don't measure it! I dunno, Robin, enough for a freaking blood-sniffing vampire to track-"
"Just turn it off?" Bart says, and Cassie makes an offended noise in the back of her throat.
"Wait, she can do that?" Kon asks, now looking even more panicked.
"No!" Tim and Cassie say in unison.
"I wish," Cassie adds, and this time it's Bart's turn to reel back.
"So you just bleed?" he asks, aghast.
Cassie's tone probably matches his when she asks, "Imp, has no-one had the talk with you yet? Is there no sex ed in the future?"
"Shots not," Tim says, and Cassie immediately repeats the phrase, desperately.
"What!" Kon says, "No, no, no, no, I am not- I can't! You want me to teach him? I don't even know if human sex ed is different from Kryptonian sex ed!"
"Not like Superman gave you many pointers on either," Tim mutters, because he takes every chance he can get to snub Clark, and Cassie steps on his foot.
"Nobody has to tell me about anything," Bart says crossly, "I'll just go to the library and teach myself-"
"Vampire!" says Tim, grabbing Bart's bicep before he can flash from the room. "Oh my god do not go out there right now."
#yj98#core4#core four#young justice#cassie sandsmark#tim drake#conner kent#bart allen#superheroes#dc comics#nari is writing#unfinished fic snips#i may cannibalise it for spiderkon but it would also be fun just to have SHENANIGANS you know?#and if i do change it i have to fix the line abt the aliens#i was trying to go for cassie: fuck im the only girl rn and i have to tell three teenage guys about my period#the teenage mortification of being a year into it so everything is the worst and you hate your body and it still Hurts So Bad#sorry cassie <3#the thought came to me at 12:03 and would not leave me to stop giggling#HOW AWKWARD. TO BE HUNTED BY A VAMPIRE AND HAVE NO INJURIES BUT YOUR DAMN PERIOD#anyway the self sacrifice was gonna be tim giving himself an injury so his blood was fresh#but then i decided lmao maybe from a plan standpoint#- and sorry here bart -#they just use bart as a blood letting machine and lead the vamp to a trap#he's a speedster!!! the blood replenishes faster!!!#fic snips
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i'm so unironically baffled at the amount of downgrades this site pushes out on a nearly weekly basis at this point. Near half if not all of them are almost completely useless and give absolutely zero benefit to user experience, if anything @staff is quite literally distancing their userbase.... do you think i want another twitter? Like what purpose or benefit does taking away dash avatars has... what's the benefit of taking away basic accessibility features.. fucking genuinely. I hate it here. I don't know how many more feedback letters I have to send in order for all this shit to stop... i'm so tired.
#i'm so tired. like genuinely.#i'm so very tired how as an artist who also relies partially on a FUNCTIONAL social media is being forced into a fucking corner like this#where the site is broken in every sense imaginable. and you have no intention to fix it. other than making it worse.#I've seen 12 year olds with java codes do a better job than this site#and u think i'm rambling nonsense bc i'm angry and yeah. i kinda am but then again i'm fuckign exhausted. and every day I have less desire#to spend even more than a second on this site#sorry!#anyways tldr. i hate it here.#please for the love of god stop giving this site money. in anyway.#i get u want the funny checkmarks but this staff doesnt deserve your pennies in any shape.
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Fuck you bones for erasing Akutagawa's smile, and instead showed him angry of all things. It's like they're committed into not showing his character development because even before this scene was Akutagawa telling Atsushi that he only has a limited time left before he dies due to his illness. Now this scene in the manga was very solemn and Akutagawa delivers this news in a very calm manner that conveys he's pretty much accepted his fate and is dedicated into fulfilling his goals before he dies. And Atsushi's expression also looked torn and muted in surpise at this revelation. Now compared to the anime where for some reason it's a side profile shot of Akutagwa looking angry when delivering this devastating news, which gives off a completely different vibe. The differences between the two was so off that I actually saw anime only's think that Akutagawa was lying about his disease when he confesses to Atsushi (in order to get a surprise attack against fukuchi) because of the way it was delivered. Akutagawa looks mad and uncaring as though he isn't talking about making the most out of his short life before he dies and atsushi looks like he doesn't wanna be here, like he doesn't care all that much about whatever aku is on about. They both were behaving like this is season 1 and not season 5, which is a shame since this arc is a culmination of the two's relationship and how much they've grown to not only care about the other but how they've also changed as individuals. So thanks bones for fucking up akutagawa's pivotal moment 🙏 I knew it was gonna be bad when they ended the episode when he first gets slashed across the neck and proceeded to speed run this moment in the next episode to go straight towards vampirism. Love y'all 🫶
#Bungou Stray dogs#Akutagawa Ryuunosuke#Nakajima Atsushi#shin soukoku#sskk#my ramblings#rant#I was so annoyed by this episode it was what I've been waiting to see animated ever since I read the chapter only for bones to fuck it up#I hate when anime studios are dedicated to only depicting how a charater behaved during their inital charactization as though their#allergic to showcasing any forms of growth.#like they do not want that character development#also why is it always bones that does shit like this??#I was gonna move on from this but then i keep seeing fix it arts that shows aku smiling and it triggered this rant from me
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Regarding Batman and Responsibility: A Rant
So, whenever there is talk about the age old question of "Should Batman kill Joker?" there is always, and I mean always someone who says something along the lines of: "But it's not Batman's responsibility to kill Joker so it's wrong to put the burden onto him." and on the surface this seems like a reasonable argument. After all, there is a police department in gotham, there is a government, so shouldn't we hold them accountable as well? Well, not exactly.
(Warning: I probably mispelled responsibility and responsible a LOT in this post, please don't begrudge me for it.)
Of course, those institutions ARE responsible for the Joker to some degree but the real question, to me, is: why is Batman considered as "NOT responsible" when he very much is.
People who make this argument usually say: "Well Batman is a volunteer, a vigilante! This is practically none of his bussiness." And true, Bruce isn't required to be a vigilante, he does it entirely out of his own volition. But is that not the whole reason why he IS responsible? I mean, Bruce is the one who CHOSE to take up that responsibilty, he is the one who CHOSES to shoulder that burden. In that sense he isn't that different from a government official/cop/etc. those people do it of their on will too don't they? Bruce, day after day, year after year, choses to fight for Gotham, to protect it and its people; he takes those responsibilities onto himself and yet... stopping Joker somehow, isn't one of them?
In my opinion, it is hypocritical. Bruce is the one who says things like "Gotham is MY city" or "I don't allow metas in Gotham, you need MY permission." or "You can't operate as a vigilante in Gotham without my say-so."(Stephanie Brown, anyone?) he routinely describes his vigilantism as a "war on crime"(which, yikes) and calls it a "crusade" and says it is his "mission" no? He chooses to do these things all on his own, no one forces him to. At a certain point, it's a matter of integrity. He can't pick and choose what exactly constitutes to protecting Gotham and what doesn't. He can't decide that beating up muggers in the streets is extremely important and is his job while improving Arkham isn't. He can't decide that, despite putting Joker in Arkham over and over again knowing he's going to escape, he isn't at least partly responsible for Joker's future victims. He can't keep stopping people from killing Joker(Under the Red Hood, hello!), saving Joker from the death row, putting Joker into a Lazarus Pit, or saving him from natural disasters(because you KNOW he would) and then claim "Oh, but killing Joker isn't my responsibility." He can't willingly claim responsibility for Gotham in every other scenario, EXCEPT for that. That's just having your cake and trying to eat it too. Unless he decided that by saving Joker he is not actually harming Gotham, by allowing Joker to live he is actively NEGLECTING his mission, his duty. And anyway, I thought the whole point of superhero comics was that people with power to better things shoud use those powers to do exactly that. Batman DOES have the power to "better" Gotham, he just isn't using it.
"Killing Joker isn't Batman's responsibility." No, it is. Because protecting Gotham and its people IS his responsibility, as he took it onto himself. If he didn't want to deal with the consequences of such a thing then he shouldn't have become a vigilante in the first place.
Mind you, this doesn't mean he's the ONLY one responsible, far from it, just that he is.
(I genuinely don't remember whether I made a post on this before but I have ranted about this to myself outloud when alone multiple times and if I have to think about this so do you)
[And YES we all know the real reason is because Joker is DC's cashcow, that is not the point of this post...]
#am i the only one who thinks this way?? mutuals pls sned help#like seeing this argument annoys me soo much#apparently bruce has authority on who can do heroing in gotham but killing joker isn't his responsibility??#this is also @ the people who say fixing arkham isn't bruces responsibiltiy btw#yes it is???#he is the one beating ppl up and sending them there#his whole thing is “i want to make gotham into a better place”#so yes it is his responsibility#i guess this might be a subjective thing? like depending on how much someone cares about personal integrity lol#personally if you willingly took on a responsibility then there is no excuse for slacking off(for lack of a better term)#anti bruce wayne#anti batman#batman critical#went hard in this one lol#i just hate this argument#its fine if it goes againts bruces moral code thats fine#but dont start the responsibility discusison w me lol#screaming to the void#also slitting jasons throat is his responsibility but killing joker isnt?? be fucking fr dude
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in line to the bathroom just to cry!!
#random thoughts#gender dysphoria.#felt it especially this morning when some lady from this organization that worked with our school called me christine.#CHRISTINE.#do i honestly look like a christine??#(not her fault but still.)#but she kept fucking misgendering me. i bet it was the shirt i was wearing.#normally i wear more layers so as to make my body less. shaped.#BUT I RAN OUT OF NICE ONES AND SO I HAD TO WEAR ANOTHER.#it used to be my favorite shirt but now it is not. i hate it.#either it is too small for me or i am too large for it. and either way i want to fucking stab myself because of it#augh. wanted to cry earlier. but didn't.#still sort of do when i think about it. i get misgendered often but. augh.#and the comment my mother made a while ago. about. how can i be a boy if all my friends are girls?#WELL SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HAVE NOT MET HALF THE BOYS IN MY SCHOOL. FUCKING IDIOT DUMBASS. HAVE YOU NO COMMON SENSE#TO KNOW THAT TIMES ARE CHANGING AND WE ARE NOT STUCK IN YOUR WARPED PERCEPTION OF GENDER NORMS?? HELLO??#i hate my body so much unironically. if i could fix it somehow.#i have been trying to fix it so hard for so long but it hasn't fucking worked and it's gone in the OPPOSITE WAY. and i am RUINING MY BODY.#AND I FUCKING HATE IT.#sometimes it feels as if nothing is good. i want to shave my head again and be perpertually ugly.#i need new hair.#i need to fix everything.#please.#i have no motivation to do it but i need to do it.#i know i'm a boy. i just want to be a boy for everyone else.
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#missed my social media activities from 2 months ago#not a single art flop#art that i had fun doing is actually art that people love too#hell my vikdecai art are fun and people hate me for it but i once got 5k likes from it and it felt so good like yay everyone loves vikdecai#idk if its shadowban or not#but now my art doesnt even reach 100 likes#10k “followers”#not even 100 likes#i know its because they didnt interact with me in a while so they cant see my post until someone famous rt it#but whennnn#i fucking hate that#also a bunch of mutual artists that i admire are suddenly unfollowing too#what the fuck#i hate it so much#i know the fix is to just get a viral tweet#bcs 2 months ago the engagement increase was caused by one with 20k likes#but how am i supposed to do that when even my art cant reach 100 likes#it feels shit knowing how i enjoyed drawing this and then posting it and people say oh its fucking shit#dont even deserve a like#let alone let their followers see my art#disgusting#the artist should fucking die#fucking fag drawing gay shit#only pure white gays can draw gay shit#fag from indonesia like me should die
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