#i am politely ignoring that. bc i don't like that.
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Hi there!
If you still take stardew valley requests please write hurt/comfort with Shane and (gn) reader about Shane getting progressively more worried about the farmer each time they go mining because of all the injuries they get there to the point where one day he snaps and breaks down in front of the farmer. It would be nice if you could show shane slowly loosing his mind each day but that would probably make the fic longer so no pressure. just pls make sure theres comfort after the hurt, bad endings make me sad :(
Thank you in advance, and even if you choose not to write this i hope you still have a lovely day.
I'm always down for Shane angst <3
In my main file I fear he's like this bc I'm constantly coming back from the dangerous mines/skull caverns on like 1 hp at 1:50 am
......
(Spring, Year 1)
"Hi, Shane!"
"God, what do you want now?"
"Nothing. I'm off to the mines." You grinned at the rugged man in front of you, holding up your pickaxe. "I'm shooting for level 120 this time, and hopefully I can pick up more gems along the way."
Shane raised a brow. "...and I care because?"
"You don't have to. Just thought I'd let you know."
'What? Like you think I'll go looking for you if you pass out? Forget it. Whatever happens is your own damn fault."
"I know the risks, but thank you." You politely answered, ignoring his blunt rudeness before checking the monster slayer guide. "The Adventurer's Guild wants me to slay a ton of bats...only 200 more to go."
""Adventurer's Guild?" Sounds stupid and childish." He grumbled, taking a swig of joja cola in his grasp. He was already running late to work, and he didn't want to get yelled at by Morris.
And he certainly didn't want you, the new farmer who made it their mission to annoy the shit out of him everyday, being the reason.
"Well it's neither of those things. It's actually thrilling." You chuckled, before digging an emerald out of your pocket. "I meant to sell this yesterday, but you can have it."
"...the hell? What am I supposed to do with this?" His brows furrowed at the green mineral you shoved into his hand.
"Keep it..for good luck, I guess?" You shrugged. "You can put it in your pocket and forget about it if you want. I just wanted to give you something nice. Plus, not to be weird, but...it kinda reminded me of your eye color."
Normally, any other villager would've been thrilled that you wanted to befriend them with gifts that reminded you of them.....
Yet Shane just stared at you as though you've confessed to stalking him.
"If you wanna give me something that's actually "nice", buy me a beer at the saloon next time." He sneered, brushing past you and continuing towards JojaMart, while you headed north of town, already knowing what you're gonna do tonight.
When you looked over your shoulder, you could see him pocket the emerald rather than throw it away despite him passing by several trash cans.
And you smiled.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(Present Day)
"Awh, you still held onto that emerald even after all this time?"
"Yeah, so what? It was the first gift anyone's really given me.." Shane confessed, heat rising to his cheeks as he held the mineral between his fingers. "I never believed in all that crap about crystals and "energy" that Emily talks about. But..I just like keeping this one around. It's like...erm..."
"A testament to the start of our friendship and eventual marriage?" You cheekily grinned as you polished your weapon, before looking to your husband.
He nodded. "Exactly what I was gonna say."
"I know you so well." Chuckling, you walked over to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm gonna head to the mines, okay? Welwick says the spirits will shower everyone in good luck. I wanna see if the fabled prismatic shards really do exist."
Almost immediately, Shane froze..and he found himself wanting to desperately say "no" and convince you to stay on the farmhouse.
But he didn't know why.
From the moment he met you, he knew you sought adventure and profits in the mines, fighting all sorts of monsters for the Adventurer's Guild. He's seen skeletons, mummies, and golems caged up at Spirits' Eve festivals, but never the wild ones below the surface who attacked you relentlessly.
Yet you never let the constant dangers deter you from exploring.
Mining was exhausting work, yet rewarding every time you cracked a stone open to find a diamond or discovered a treasure chest. With the materials you've gathered, you were able to craft some rings to wear, enchanted with powers to help make your excursions easier and safer.
Despite being well-prepared, though, Shane did have his concerns...especially as once you came home after clashing with skeletons, a scar on your head from a flying femur bone that still hasn't fully healed.
You only went to Harvey to get it checked out after your husband--who was your boyfriend at the time--insisted on it.
Even before that, he'd see you around town, bearing a new bug bite, scratch, burn, bruise, or bandaid on your body.
It never worried him before, but after that skeleton incident, he finally understood that those monsters were real and you were seriously getting yourself hurt.
He'd go to the mines with you if not for his fears that he'll only make things worse. There's a good chance he'll slow you down and find himself getting swarmed by slimes, bats, bugs, and whatever the hell else was there....and he wasn't exactly the most fit to swing a sword or pickaxe.
Simple walks made him tired.
What good would he do?
"Shane? What's wrong?"
Blinking, he snapped out his thoughts and saw your concerned face. "Nothing, sweetheart." He dismissed, giving you a little smile. "Just be careful out there, alright? I'll take care of things here."
"Thank you, baby." Smiling back, you gave him a kiss before heading out the door with your backpack and tools. "Off to the bottom of the mines I go!"
Shane tensed.
"Wait-"
As quickly as the door opened, it slammed shut, and he was left by himself in the cabin.
It was an uncomfortable silence.
'Maybe I should've tagged along.....buh, what am I saying? They'll be fine. They do this all the time. Stop getting so worked up, idiot..' Clearing his mind yet again, he went off to check things around the farm for you, deciding to watch TV later on.
There was gonna be another Tunneler's game tonight, so at least he had that to look forward to.
Nothing like that, some good food in the fridge, and this cozy cabin he got to call home...
And it was all because of you.
If you could build everything here and still having the energy to go mining and fight monsters, why should he worry?
.
.
.
.
.
1:20 AM
After a productive day, Shane managed to fall asleep early for once.
Only be woken up by the creak of the bedroom door.
Light almost immediately flooded his vision, stirring him from his slumber as he grumbled and tried to shield his eyes, wondering what time it was.
"Fuck..morning already-?"
"No, honey..it's...just me. Sorry.."
He blinked, sitting up to see that it was only you coming into the room, removing your rings. One of them served as your light source, yet it didn't hide the numerous scratched and bruises that littered your skin.
And they were all fresh.
"Babe, wha...are you okay?" Shane was now fully awake, watching as you peeled off your jacket and trousers, tossing them into the corner of the room before dragging yourself into bed.
Only then could he see your injuries up close and personal, and his heart began racing. "What happened? You look like hell."
"I'm fine, Shane. I just..need to sleep it off.."
"B-But...there's blood everywhere.." He mumbled, his eyes going to the clothes in the corner. "I can call Harvey-"
"No..don't. I already patched myself up. I'll be fine in the morning..I just wanna be here with you." Smiling weakly, you kissed him, before putting the prismatic shard into his hand. "Look. It exists...haha...it's so pretty, right? It's yours."
He didn't know what to say, staring dumbfounded at the mineral.
What hell did you go through to get this?
And as much as he loved it..why get it for him?
Why risk your life?
But when he looked back to question you further, you were already passed out beside him, looking peaceful despite the wounds on your body.
Eventually, he slid the prismatic shard under his pillow and laid back down, only to hesitate in wrapping his arm around you.
All he could do was gaze at your exhausted face..and the dried blood under your nose.
Least to say, he had trouble falling back to sleep.
..........
Ever since that night, Shane's grown increasingly worried over your safety during your mining trips. And it began to affect his usual routine around the farm.
In fact, calling it "worry" at this point would be a heavy understatement..
It became straight-up paranoia.
Whether you headed off to the mines or Skull Caverns early because of an "extra lucky day" or simply because you needed a specific resource, you'd always come back home the same way:
At later hours, with more injuries and bandages than last time, constantly on the verge of passing out and barely able to hold a conversation with him.
Of course, you'd have breakfast with him, and you'd never leave the farmhouse without giving him a kiss...but it did nothing to ease his mind, as he'd constantly see your wounds and dread whatever horror stories you were about to tell him.
Even though you're perfectly nonchalant as you talk about a serpent who tried wrapping itself around you and squeeze every last breath out of your body, it made Shane feel utterly sick to his stomach.
How could you be so calm after so many brushes with death?
He didn't understand.
On the surface, he seemed fine with you leaving. But when you did, he'd find himself turning to beer to calm his nerves..although most days he was able to resist the urge and occupy himself with farming tasks or video games.
Despite this, he hasn't outright told you anything. He knew mining was your passion and thought you'd chastise him for "worrying over nothing".
So he kept it to himself, thinking his anxiety was being stupid.
Then the final straw came the evening when he got a call from Harvey's clinic around 5PM.
One that he hoped to never hear:
You passed out, and were currently being treated for serious injuries.
He bolted out the cabin, all the way to the town square and damn near broke the door down. There, Harvey, Linus, and Marlon were at your bedside, the latter two having brought you in after seeing you fall unconscious in from of the elevator, covered in blood and shrapnel.
Fortunately, you were expected to make a full recovery with just stitches and some IV fluids to rehydrate your body...but you still owed Shane one hell of an explanation.
This time around, you landed in an "infested" area of the 100s, trying to use a bomb to kill off most of the monsters.
Only to trip over a stupid lava crab and drop the bomb after you just ignited it, damn near losing your leg trying to kick it away from you in time.
And by the grace of Yoba, you were able to limp your way back to the ladder, return to floor zero, where Linus so-happened to be passing by the mine entrance.
You gave the poor old man quite a fright, as he didn't know how much blood on you was from the monsters...or you.
In the end, the bomb left shrapnel in your flesh, searing your clothing and requiring stitches to ensure you didn't bleed out. You appreciated Harvey for his quick work and for Linus and Marlon for taking you to him.
However nobody in that clinic was more terrified over your condition than Shane, who was in disbelief that you were able to stand and walk back home with him after getting discharged.
He wouldn't talk to you, although his hands shook as he helped you into bed, still sleeping beside you like he did every night before this.
But this time...he had the worst nightmare possible.
He was down in the mines with you, except he felt stuck and couldn't do anything to warn you or save you from the impending danger.
It was like he was spectating a game, instead forced to watch as the bats and monsters made of shadows descended upon you with their teeth bared and claws out, tearing into your body. You had yelled for him to save you, to stop being useless, damning him for not stopping you from leaving...yet their horrible noises drowned out any further shouts.
Then you were gone.
You were gone and he failed you.
And it was all his fault.
It made him joltbwide awake at 3 AM, and he felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest. His mind kept going to you, constantly checking to make sure you're still breathing, unable to fall back to sleep for a while.
When he did, he was in tears.
..........
"No."
"Shane, I know last night was bad. But I'm not-"
"You're not going to the mines today. I mean it."
Dumbfounded, you gazed at Shane, who was physically blocking you from leaving the cabin. A scowl was written all over his face.
You sighed and rubbed the side of your head. "It's only the first few levels, honey. Willy needed bug meat for-"
"Right. The "first few" you say, and then I'll get a call from Harvey at 2 AM about you needing emergency surgery again." He gritted his teeth, tears coming to his eyes. "Whatever he or anyone in this damn town needs in those mines can wait. Why can't you just stay?!"
"I don't understand.." Your eyebrows furrowed. "You never cared before if I went there. What changed?"
"What changed....? What changed is that I've been having a lot more of sleepless nights lately! I can barely eat or do anything except worry and worry about you. And it's because...because..." He trailed off.
"Because what?"
"......."
You sighed. "Shane, if you're not gonna tell me what's wrong, then I don't see why-"
"Because you've been scaring me to death okay?!" His hands now gripping your shoulders as he stared at you. "You think you're invincible, but you aren't. What don't you get?! How badly are you gonna let those things hurt you?! Or be the reason YOU DROP DEAD AND DON'T COME HOME?!!" He screamed.
Your own eyes widened, stunned by his words..and eventually you saw the realization flash across his face as he blurted out his true feelings.
The ones he tried to hide from you, yet consumed him for hours upon hours whenever you left for the mines.
It made your heart plummet.
His breath hitched, and you then saw the tears beginning to fall from his greenish eyes.
"Shane..."
"[Y/n], you saved me from throwing my life away. And...i-it's like you're throwing away yours for no reason!" He sobbed. "Night after night, I have nightmares of seeing your limp body..a-and....and I can't save you. I can't do anything except scream and beg them to stop hurting you! But they never listen! A-And...I just...I-I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you..."
He looked totally shattered, making you finally realize how serious this was.
Your guilt right now was immensurable, watching the man you loved fall apart right in front of you.
And it was your fault.
"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." You pulled him into a tight hug, and he completely broke down in your arms. His quiet crying became muffled by your shoulder. "I..I had no idea you were feeling that way. Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares sooner?"
"You would've thought..th-they were stupid. Or that I sound "needy" or controlling.." He sniffled. "I-I know I can't stop you from going, but...I just..a-after what happened to you last night, I...I.."
"Oh, honey..that was my dumb mistake. The monsters had nothing to do with my injuries." Rubbing his back, you gently kissed his head. "I was tired and got clumsy with a stupid bomb..but I promise it won't happen again. You're right. I'm not invincible. I need that reality check sometimes."
He didn't say anything, instead holding onto you tighter.
You never realized how badly your mining trips and injuries were affecting him...affecting this very relationship.
The Shane you met back in Year 1 could care less if you dropped dead. He outright said he'd never go looking for you and that whatever happened was your own fault.
But the Shane you knew now was crying in your arms over the mere thought that one day you'll go into the mines and never come out, holding it all in until he couldn't anymore.
You've really helped him open up to you, but now you were tearing him apart inside and never really knew it until this point.
"W-Will you just..stay here today, please?" He finally spoke, not caring about how needy or pathetic that sounded.
"...I will." You answered. "I'll take a break from mining for a good while."
"....you would do that for me?"
"Of course. I'd do anything for you, Shane. Hell..I'd give that up altogether if you wanted me to."
You felt him shake his head, and you chuckled, squeezing him tightly. "I'm only kidding, but I promise. No more mining this week."
Shane raised his head up, looking to make sure you were serious. And he saw nothing but sincerity in your expression.
You sighed softly and cupped the sides of his wet face, seeing the torrent of anxiety and frustration raging like an ocean current in his eyes. "You must've felt so lonely and terrified, baby..I'm sorry. I won't make you feel that way ever again."
He sniffled again as you brushed away his tears, before taking ahold of your wrist to kiss your palm...where your first scar from a rock crab came from.
How badly did he wanna kiss away every scar those bastards left on you until none remained.
Some faded with time and care, but others were more permanent--testaments to your survival down in the mines..as well as your several brushes with death.
Heat rose to your cheeks, watching him become so affectionate and gentle with you, even though he knows you're not made of glass whatsoever.
Eventually, his tears ceased as you both decided to go lay down on the bed together, with Shane cuddling up to you and resting his head on your chest. All he could hear was your strong heartbeat drowning out the noise in his mind.
It was still kicking, like you.
"Thank you..god, that was exhausting.." He mumbled. "I'm sor-"
"You don't have to be sorry for being honest with me." You reassured, petting his hair. "I just..wish I picked up the signs sooner."
"INah, I should've been clearer...and maybe that would spare myself this headache I got now.."
"Hmm..how about we sleep in until you feel better? Then we can check on the chickens."
Feeling him nod and wrap his arms around you, you took that as a "yes" and chuckled softly, knowing you weren't gonna leave this spot anytime soon.
But that's okay.
There's no other place you'd rather be. Not even the mines.
#clanask#anonymous#sdv x reader#stardew valley x reader#sdv shane#sdv shane x reader#stardew shane x reader#angst#hurt/comfort
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Hi,
Could I perhaps request GP!Donna x maid in a situation loosely similar to Donna and Mihaela from your fic but not quite. Basically reader is Donna’s maid(not bc of Miranda just a normal maid) and they both catch feelings and get kind of together in the sense that they are lovers but haven’t quite spoken about what they mean to each other. Reader has a kid by Donna and starts to feel insecure as the months go by…….who exactly are they in her life? Maid? Lover? Spouse? Co-parent? Dalliance?
Feel free to ignore and hope you have a great day!
(PS really love your fic and other oneshots)
YesYesYes!!! You're the first one to request me something about this fandom!!! Thank you very much!! Have you enjoyed my fic? Oh, that's great! Thank you again, your words lift my spirit! <3 Here it is!! I hope you like it, and I hope this is what you wanted!!! Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Thank you again!!! :)))))
What am I to you?
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem, Maid! Reader
Warnings: Angst, insecurities, slightly implied smut, G!P Donna, they have a baby,
Word count: 5,161 (sorry if it's too long)
Summary: You have to work, it's the only way to take care of yourself in that village. Then, you met her, a strange woman that has a thing for hidding her feelings as well as her face...
N/A: Again, sorry about the language mistakes!! Requests are open!! I love you all :))))
Some people say that fate is inevitable, that from the moment you are born, you have a purpose in life, a marked path that you must follow, that you will do it even if you don't want to, even if you don't even realize it.
Surely the people who said that nonsense didn’t live in that village.
Even though when you were little you dreamed of the day you would leave that place, that leaving there would be your fate, it didn't take you long to realize that you were wrong.
The years passed and you grew up, seeing how the world around you remained the same. There was no future. Sometimes you thought that time didn't even pass in that place.
For a 20-year-old girl like you, there was no way out. Your parents already had too much trouble raising chickens to feed you and your siblings. Praying to Mother Miranda was not enough to guarantee even something as basic as your survival.
If you didn't want to spend the rest of your life serving an unwanted husband, you had to do something.
What was the only thing a young woman like you could do in that place to feel fulfilled? So you don't have to get married? To serve.
Not to serve an ungrateful man whom you didn’t love, but to serve those people who were above you, the lords.
Like any girl who grew up in that place, you had heard horrible things about all of them. They were like scary stories to tell by the light of a campfire. You never really knew how much truth and fantasy there was in those stories.
“What do you want, young lady?” The lady of the castle, Alcina Dimitrescu, asked.
The legends always erred on the side of exaggeration. You had knocked politely on the doors of her castle, as you knew several of your friends had done. You were no worse, or clumsier than them. It wouldn't be difficult for you to become just another maid in that place.
“Mm...” She murmured when you finished exhibiting all your qualities, which were not few. “You certainly impress me…. What did you say your name was?”
“(Y/N),” you said, sure of yourself, but trembling with fear at being in that castle.
“(Y/N)...” The lady in white sighed, “I would like you to be my maid, but…”
“But?” You repeated immediately, scared by that reaction.
“You see, lately my maids are having room problems. I know it seems like a poor excuse, after all the castle is big but... Believe me, it's not.”
The disappointment was visible on your face. If your childhood friend, the one who even didn't know how to read, had managed to work in the castle, why you not?
“Surely you don't want to spend all day cleaning and taking care of my needs and then have to sleep with two roommates in a tiny bed, right?”
“No, my lady,” you responded with a sigh, bowing your head.
“It's a shame, you're gorgeous...” Alcina whispered, with a listless smile on her face. “But hey, maybe I have something for you. There may be someone who needs a maid...”
After that, she sent you to the house of another of the lords, Donna Beneviento.
No one you knew had worked for her. Well, you had heard that she had a gardener, a man you used to see often at church. One day, he disappeared, you never saw him again.
You hoped that the things they said about that woman were nonsense, and that that gardener was still out there somewhere. You were only fooling yourself, you knew better.
“Who are you? What do you want?” A shrill voice, which bounced in your ears making you cringe, asked you. A doll, Donna's doll, Angie, was the only one who spoke when the door to that house opened.
The lady holding her didn't say a word, she just stood... You assumed, looking at you through the black veil that covered her face.
“I’m... I’m, (Y/N), Lady Dimitrescu sent me. She told me that you needed a maid,” you said timidly.
“I don't need a maid,” the doll said, with a slightly different tone. “Go away.”
You, determined to flee out of the marriage of convenience that your parents had prepared, made a stupid move, putting your hand on the door to prevent it from closing.
“I... I... Please... I'm sure I can be really helpful. I don't need a lot of money and I can clean, cook, do the laundry... I'm sure you need some help it in such a big house.”
“Are you deaf, stupid? Donna told you she didn't need you help,” the doll sang. Yes, the lady was the one who rejected you.
“Please, please... Give me a chance, I can be very useful to you,” you said with pleading eyes, ignoring the doll and looking at the woman in black, who sighed tiredly.
The doll looked at its owner, who remained serene, standing, without moving beyond her breathing.
“Are you so desperate?” the doll asked with a sinister laughter.
“Maybe...” You admitted, lowering your head. “Please, if I don't get the job, they will force me to get married. I'm very good at what I do, I promise, you don't even have to pay at first... At least try me.”
Doll and lady looked at each other, and then their heads turned to you.
“Oh, it's fine. You will stay for a trial week,” the doll said while the lady moved away to let you enter the house.
After those words, you started working at the Beneviento estate.
Cleaning, cooking… Everything you hoped to do. You weren't worried, but you weren't calm either. That woman was strange, lonely. It's like she's trying to avoid contact with you. She always walked like a shadow around the house, as if you didn't even exist.
But you were there. The Angie doll served as a reminder that you were really working, that you were a maid, her maid.
The week passed and… Nothing. You continued with your work. You figured you were useful enough to Donna.
She paid you well, you had a room to yourself and you didn't lack anything. The only bad thing was that incipient feeling of living in absolute solitude, a feeling that grew as the days passed.
How many times you asked her didn't matter, or how many times you looked at that portrait on the stairs. Nothing could resolve your doubts about Donna. Nothing could get her to say a single word to you in her own voice.
“Where did you learn this recipe?” The lady asked one night, making you turn around immediately. You hadn't hallucinated, it was her voice. A soft, hoarse voice. She was really asking you.
“Oh…. Well… I have been cooking since I was very young. I have 4 brothers and my mother couldn't handle everything by herself,” you explained, feeling a strange relief when you let your voice come out of your throat. It wasn't unusual for you to go entire days without speaking in that house.
“Mm,” Donna murmured, nodding, making the fabric of her veil move slightly.
It may have seemed like a stupid conversation, but after that one, many more came, increasingly longer and more interesting conversations.
You may have been afraid at first, especially when you remembered that poor gardener, but little by little you began to relax. She didn't seem like an evil woman, just strange, complicated. You knew that she had problems, that she often had a hard time controlling her emotions. It was never a problem for you. Your hand on her shoulder and words of comfort were enough for Donna to relax.
That strange confidence settled in, like another routine in your tasks. A conversation about literature, lived experiences, anything... Anything other than what was behind that black veil.
When you accidentally discovered it, everything went back to the beginning, as if it had been a complete restart.
Donna was a beautiful woman, despite the scar that covered her right eye. You probably had more important things to think about, but ever since you saw her face, you couldn't help but remember it each hour of the day.
Being attracted to a beautiful woman was not strange for you, but your conscience told you over and over again to forget about those feelings.
“You don't have to cover yourself, my lady. You are a beautiful woman,” you said one night coming up from the kitchen, watching as Donna put on her veil so that you couldn't see her once again.
“Liar,” she whispered, barely with a thread of voice.
“I'm not lying,” you said in response, moving closer to the table.
“I'm not going to raise your salary because you flatter me. I don't need your false compassion,” your wife scolded you, holding the fork tightly.
“It's not what I intend”
“Liar!” Donna screamed, for no reason beyond the embarrassment she felt about her face.
There were a couple of tense weeks, weeks when you were somewhat afraid. If Donna got angry, something bad would happen, or so the people in the village said.
Things calmed down as time went by. What didn't calm down was your attraction to the woman in black, who seemed to forget about that little incident and regain the trust you had worked so hard to earn.
This attraction worsened to the point that you were the one who needed to be close to her, have those absurd conversations and feel the fabric of her dress very close to yours.
A short time later, after a small discussion relating again to the beauty that she denied having, your lips collided impatiently, melting into a passionate and unexpected, but longed for, kiss.
You could say that everything changed after that kiss, but really... It didn’t.
Everything about Beneviento remained the same. Maybe a kiss, a caress... The vision of Donna without the black veil… They were small and insignificant changes, but not insignificant to you.
Recognizing that you were in love with Donna was an important step for you. You kept wondering if she felt the same way. She may have talked to you. She may have whispered words that you didn't understand, but... You didn't really know what she thought of you, if she felt the same way.
Nothing important, in your opinion. Her hand caressing yours while you read or ate together was more than enough for you.
Her kisses went from being innocent to being desperate, insecure... You could notice her desire in her already discovered gaze, the smile that formed on her lips when you hugged her, when she hugged you.
The heat of those new kisses became almost unbearable. It didn't matter the things she said, the things you thought... You just gasped when her arms surrounded your back, when you lay down on the bed next to her, when you let yourself be carried away by a delirious, almost desperate desire.
Donna might seem like an ordinary woman, but she wasn't one at all. Mother Miranda's infinite power not only caused that horrible scar, but it also made certain things different about her body. It was not a thing that really mattered to you. Until that moment you hadn't even stopped to think about how madly in love you were.
She was affectionate, tender and insecure in her movements. An insecure woman, who trembled at the sight of you naked, at having you at her mercy in a way that you doubt she even imagined.
“I... I've never been with anyone. You'll have to be patient with me...” Donna whispered as she got closer, caressing your cheek while she undressed herself, showing that her attraction to you was more than evident.
“Me neither...” You said, with a lump in your throat, with multiple insecurities that began to cloud that special night.
None of the problems you saw were an impediment to not feeling loved as you did that night. Her movements were erratic, inexperienced, just like yours. Despite this, feeling her inside you, making love to you slowly, without rushing, with her soft moans causing you chills, were enough reasons to stop being afraid, to feel free to love her and be loved.
While her gentle thrusts filled your mind with unimaginable waves of pleasure, your hands cupped her face, caressing it gently.
“I love you,” you said, at the limit of your sanity, when she lifted your legs to have better access to you.
You expected a response, a loving comment. You didn't have it. The only thing Donna did was smile, without stopping moving, closing her only eye to feel even more pleasure being inside your body. That was it: a smile and her warmth settling inside you after a heavy gasp.
Just like your first kiss, making love to Donna didn't change anything in your routine.
Yes, there were many nights in which passion was the protagonist, in which she took you and loved you in an unimaginable way. You even slept next to her many times, hugging her body.
Questions began to plague your mind while, as the months passed, your body began to weaken. Were you starting to have doubts? Of course you had doubts. Donna was gentle, affectionate, kind... She showered you with kisses, compliments, she caressed you, she talked to you about her concerns. She shared her life with you. But, you were nothing but a maid. You continued doing your job, despite your body's discomfort. You served her breakfast, lunch, dinner... You did the laundry, you cleaned the dust...
If she had feelings for you... Why she didn’t tell you? She doesn’t feel the same?
“There's nothing wrong with her, Donna. She's fine,” the supreme witch of the place, Mother Miranda, said with a sigh, after checking your temperature.
Yes, your discomfort seriously worsened, causing dizziness and nausea to prevent you from doing your job normally.
Seeing the priestess as something similar to a doctor made you shiver, feeling even worse.
“You are very kind, Mother Miranda,” you said respectfully, sitting up on the sofa. The blonde simply smiled, standing up and clasping her hands together.
“Congratulations, Donna. (Y/N) is pregnant,” she said as she was talking about a simple cold.
“What?!” You shouted.
You should have guessed it. Those nights of unbridled passion you had not been careful. Well, more like, she hadn't been careful. The news fell on you like a bucket of cold water, but you couldn't help but feel a certain excitement.
You loved Donna, you really did. There was no other place you wanted to be than next to her. Nothing could change your mind. Despite her silence regarding her feelings, and not knowing what she was to you, or what you were to her, you couldn't deny you were madly in love and that a baby, a child with her, was the best news.
“A baby… It's wonderful, tesoro,” The lady in black whispered, placing a cushion on your back so that you would be more comfortable.
“Yes, it is,” you said with a smile, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly in yours. “I love you, Donna.”
It was a pathetic attempt, one of the many times you tried to get her to return the feeling, to get her to say those three words you so badly needed to hear. Like other times, there was no response, just a horrible silence, followed by a slow and tender kiss on the lips.
Time passed without respite, without letting you think about things coldly. Donna took care of you, you couldn't deny it, even Angie did everything she could to make sure your pregnancy wasn't a problem for you, more than usual, of course.
Maybe it was the hormones, the changes in your body, but you started crying at night, those nights when Donna was already asleep, when her arm passed over your body and her legs served as chains to keep you from leaving.
Joy, sadness, disappointment... You didn't know exactly why you were crying. Well, you had a slight idea. You had everything you wanted: a home, a wonderful woman by your side... Did you have it?
Every day, when the sun set behind the mountains, you looked at the horizon wondering if you were really as important to her as she was to you.
While you caressed your increasingly bulging belly, you thought about everything you experienced every day. Kisses, words of love, affection, smiles and caresses to your belly...
It might seem like enough, but it wasn't. The most important thing was still missing: an I love you from her lips, a marry me. What were you and Donna really like? What were you to Donna?
The torture that your pregnancy entailed ended months later, causing this new being to be born in the bed where it was conceived. Hours of pain, suffering, words of support and an irrational fear of bleeding to death, despite being well cared. But it was all worth it. Little Giulia Beneviento had been born and she was more beautiful than Heaven itself.
The baby meant a radical change in your life. Now you had someone to take care of, who you and Donna loved dearly. She helped you with everything she could. If she had been any other way, you would have been devastated.
But all that joy that Giulia caused had an expiration date. It didn't last long, like a glass of water on a hot day. Doubts and fear returned to your bed every night to not let you sleep.
Lack of sleep was present in your usual tasks. You didn't even know why you kept acting like a maid. You weren't, or so you wanted to think.
“(Y/N), I don't think I could live without your food,” Donna said, while you had dinner together, like every night.
You barely moved after those words, after those praises that had become a routine that was beginning to consume you.
Mimicking her usual responses to your declarations of love, you briefly lifted your corners to offer a fake, half-hearted smile.
“Now that the weather is starting to be nice, we could go for a walk in the forest, I'm sure Giulia will love it,” she said, ignoring your gesture of contempt.
Your patience had been exhausted for a long time, long before the girl was born. You were nervous and anxiety had caused you to become a very different person than you already were.
“She's two months old, Donna, I doubt she can even notice,” you responded, drinking your glass of water and setting it down on the table with a thud.
“Well... I...” The doll maker stammered, playing with the spoon in her soup, disturbed by your reaction.
“Besides, tomorrow I have to do the laundry. I don't think I have time for a stupid walk,” you said, wiping yourself with the napkin, causing Donna to look at you suddenly, with a cold and a scared expression.
“Oh, come on, (Y/N), that can wait,” Donna said, smiling the way she knew made you melt.
“Really?” You asked immediately, before her beauty prevented you from saying what you thought, again.
“Tesoro, are you okay?” The lady in black asked, studying your cold expression carefully.
“I'm fine, don't you see me?” You responded ironically.
“(Y/N)...”
“Of course I'm not okay!” You screamed, letting that repressed rage come out, slamming your fist on the table, making what was on top of it shake dangerously. “I'm fed up, Donna.”
“Fed up?” She asked, with a familiar gleam in her eye. Anything would make Donna lose control, but for some reason, she knew how to stay calm. For a moment, in your rabid alienation, you wished you had never taught her how to control her anxiety.
“Yes, fed up,” you repeated with a grimace of disgust. “I'm sick of you.”
“What have I done?” She asked curiously, with her hands trembling on the table.
“Stop pretending you're an idiot, Donna, I know you're not,” you said, standing up abruptly. “Tell me, what the hell am I to you?”
“You know I don't like when you talk like that,” she hissed angrily, hardening her gaze.
“I don't give a shit,” you replied, letting your subconscious enjoy disobeying her. “I've been here for two years, with you, and I don't even know what I am.”
“What are you?” She asked, shaking her head.
“What are we, Donna? We are lovers? Am I your wife, your girlfriend? What do I mean in your life? I've been trying to tell you all this time the things I feel about you and you do nothing but ignore me...” You said furiously, narrowing your eyes.
“I don't…”
“Shut up!” You interrupted, making her step back, resting her back on the chair. “You have no idea how stupid I feel… How distressing it is not to know how the hell you feel about me.”
“(Y/N)...”
“I said... Shut up,” you growled, resting your hands on the table, leaning in to look threatening. “Now it is my turn to speak, even if I am just your maid. Is that true? I am just your maid, the mother of your daughter, a servant...”
“What are you talking about? Tesoro, I...” Donna said, shaking her head, blinking in disbelief.
“We've been together a long time, Donna. We have laughed, we have cried. Damn, we made love, we have a damn daughter and I'm still serving you breakfast every morning. If only that's what I mean to you, have the courage to tell me.”
“You're wrong, (Y/N)”
“Did you even ask me if I wanted to have a baby? No, you didn't. You have always done what you wanted with me. Now I'm starting to realize it.”
You didn't want to bring up that topic. You didn't want to tell her that you weren't ready to be a mother. Giulia was the most important person in your life. You decided to keep those first thoughts to yourself.
“You never say that you love me...” You murmured, calming your nerves, letting a tear slide down your cheek. “You don't need to be a genius to know what that means. You never loved me. Damn, if you keep paying me to be your maid, do you know how that makes me feel?”
“You're just talking nonsense...” Donna whispered, gritting her teeth, letting you know with her eye that you were making her more and more nervous.
“Nonsense? Is showing your feelings nonsense to you? Very good, very good, Donna,” you said nodding, moving away from the table. “I resign.”
“What?”
“You’ve heard me, pay me what you owe me and I'll get out of here. And Giulia is coming with me.”
“Don't you dare to leave!” She shouted, getting up furious.
“Oh? Are you threatening me? Now I’m clear about what do you think,” you said mockingly, defiantly.
“(Y/N), I, I don't...” Donna said, breathing deeply so as not to scream again.
“You're no better than your siblings, Donna,” you said.
“No, I'm not like them,” she defended herself, clenching her fists. “I… I…”
“You, what?” You insisted, making her shake her head and her breathing hitch again. “I deeply regret being so in love with you. Don’t worry. I don't have the courage to leave. I guess you've been lucky with me being your slave,” you sighed, feeling that statement was terribly true. “I hate loving you!”
Her eye was cold, angry. Her gaze didn’t leave yours but her lips didn’t move. They remained half open.
Your tears ran down your face and crashed onto the wooden floor.
“Hello hello!” A shrill voice interrupted that argument. Angie arrived from the elevator. “Little Giulia is crying, I think she is hungry,” she said in a sing-song voice.
You sighed, closing your eyes and nodding.
“Okay, I'm going to feed your daughter,” you said contemptuously, taking one last look at the table. “Don't worry, Lady Beneviento, then I will pick this up like the maid I’m.”
To emphasize your anger, you walked past her, bumping her shoulder on the way. She didn't move. She stayed rigid, in the same position. She didn't even turn her head to look at you. You didn't worry too much about it either. You had said the things you wanted for a long time.
“Let's see...” You murmured as you picked up your daughter from the crib. She was crying inconsolably. “Don’t cry, my love. Mom is with you,” you said with a broken voice, sitting on the bed to feed the baby, who calmed down as soon as she touched your skin.
You couldn't help but sob, even with the little girl in your arms, you felt deep sorrow. You thought that everything you had experienced was just an illusion in your head, that Donna's cowardice in saying what she thought was simply that, cowardice.
But you were sure that you were no more to her than any maid in the castle was to her lady.
“Your mother Donna is stupid, you know?” You said affectionately, stroking the baby's black hair. “But… I love her. I will love her even if she doesn't feel the same way about me.”
The baby sighed, causing the false sensation that she was listening to you.
“I just want to her to be able to tell me what she thinks, what she feels...” you murmured again, when Giulia squirmed in your arms, indicating that she was done. “But… You know what? It doesn’t matter. If I'm sure of one thing, it's that your mommy Donna loves you madly. You should feel lucky. At least she tells you, she will always tell you.”
“(Y/N)...” A hoarse, broken voice sounded behind the door. You rolled your eyes, as you lovingly moved the baby in your arms. “Please, let me in.”
“Do it if you want to, this is YOUR home,” you whispered reluctantly, getting rid of the baby's gases.
The woman in black entered. Her face betrayed tears and regret. But you were too tired.
“Your daughter eats too much,” you said. “She has drained every last drop of my energy. I don't have the strength to talk to you, Donna.”
The woman sat next to you, petting the baby, but without looking you in the eyes.
“When I was 14, I fell in love with a girl from the village,” she began to say, picking up the baby from your arms and rocking her daughter to sleep.
You didn't want to, nor did you feel like shutting her up again.
“I know it was impossible for her to feel the same. My scar wasn't as horrible as it is now, but people still avoided me. I thought that... Maybe if I told her what I felt, she would listen to me.”
“There was nothing wrong with your scar then and there is nothing wrong with it now,” you said seriously, also avoiding looking at her face.
“Well, I... I wrote her a letter, telling her what I felt about her. Do you know what her response was? No one could ever love you, you are a monster,” the lady in black said sighing, repressing a sob.
“I'm sorry,” you managed to say, feeling that your idea of seeming angry was blurred by the mere fact of hearing her voice.
“One morning, my parents told me that they were going to take a trip, that it would only be a few days. I told them I loved them before they leave,” she continued telling, her voice becoming weaker, her hands trembling as she cradled her daughter.
“I don't understand what that has to do with...”
“They died that day. They jumped into the void, in front of me,” Donna explained. You knew that story, but you had never dared to ask her about it.
Donna stood up, carefully placing her daughter in her crib, tucking her in tenderly, before sitting back down next to you.
“Don't you understand, (Y/N)? All the people I have loved have hurt me, or abandoned me,” she said with a slightly stronger tone, her breathing heavy.
“So the best thing is to never love anyone again, right?” You said with a bit of irony.
“Do you think I don't love you?” She asked suddenly, turning her head towards you, now looking into your eyes.
“I don't know, Donna,” she sighed.
“Girlfriends, lovers, wives... All of them are just meaningless words, labels. They don't mean anything to me,” she said, shaking her head, extending her hand to take yours. You didn't take it away.
“But they do for me. You don't know what it's like to be thinking about what I mean to you. Not knowing if the kisses you give me are something more than mere kisses, if you make love to me because you really feel it, or if you do it just for fun. Sometimes people need to know that you love them, you understand?”
“I've never been good at dealing with people,” Donna said with an amused smile, caressing your hand with her thumb.
“Oh, fresh news,” you ironized, letting out a brief laugh that she shared with you.
“I, I have always felt alone... Always… Until, until you came.”
“The fool who fills the void of your loneliness... Is that what I am to you?”
“No, (Y/N), you... You are everything that makes me feel like life is wonderful. I like to see you wake up next to me. I like when you hug me, when you love me. I feel like I'm not afraid of dying because hell is insignificant compared to spending the rest of my life without you...”
“Wow...” You said, excited by that strange statement. “I guess that means you love me.”
Donna nodded profusely, turning your body to face her so she could kiss you softly on the lips.
“I love you, (Y/N). You and Giulia are the only things I care about.”
“I... I love you too,” you said with a smile, kissing her again, relaxing your spirit after hearing the words you longed for so much. “You don’t know how much I do.”
“Could you forgive me?” She asked in a tone of supplication, of true repentance. “I promise you that not a single day will pass without me telling you how much I love you, I promise you.”
“No, Donna... You have to forgive me. I've gone too far with you. I should have understood you better. But…”
“But?” The lady asked, startled.
“You have not answered my question. What are we, Donna? What am I to you?” You asked, running a hand over her cheek, suppressing the desire you had to kiss her deeply.
“You are...” Donna whispered, searching for an answer in the cracked walls of the bedroom. “You are my family.”
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so i saw this old-ish post about an au centering around a villain lewis and a hero arthur,,, and i. may have gotten attached to it,, dkdndkdjs. so i decided to make some edits + doodles based on it!! i also really wanna make a lil oneshot about it as well,, but uh... whether or not i actually follow through on that, we'll see,, skdjsojdks.
#my art#mystery skulls animated#lewis pepper#msa lewis#arthur kingsmen#msa arthur#really happy with how their designs came out !!!#it was a bit of a struggle to make lewis not just look like how he is in canon but with a cape;;#but i think the patterns + sugar skull makeup help a lot!#imagining lewis has the power to just turn into a ghost form;; which he uses for villain stuff. think danny phantom#(<- has never watched danny phantom)#and arthur's just kinda like batman; makes his own gadgets and stuff! i imagine his metal arm also has some fun doodads in it#still debating on why exactly arthur is so beat up in the potential fic; so far i'm thinking maybeeee reverb?#or maybe just some unknown new villain guy#and yes i know there's additions in the post i linked where everyone agrees it was actually mystery#not even murder mystery just. mystery.#i am politely ignoring that. bc i don't like that.#mystery is just vivi's not-dog in my version of this au.#'vivi please don't try and break into a dangerous supervillain's lair to try and rescue some hero' he says to her#meanwhile vivi's already halfway there#being vivi's dog is a full-time job
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Also just such a small thing but like. In the F!Lumera FBs when Henriette and Ashe are waiting on backup from Alfonse, and Alfonse is the only one she mentions by name. Like yeah I could be reading into that, maybe he's on his own, maybe it's just shorthand like "Eh they come in twos no need to mention them both it's unspoken/expected that if Alfonse is here, Sharena is close behind him" like. Idk idk that barely tracks for me actually cause personally unless if I'm speaking about a specific sister, I'm always saying "my sisters" or saying both of their names. And esp before getting their own places, the two of them v much felt like a set.
Idk idk just weird to me. I think we should blow her up with our minds
#LIKE. i don't wanna get too personal LMFAOO but. bugs me.#online i usually just say 'my sister'/only bring up one bc she's more in the same spaces i am (direct influence.)#and i guess like. gender plays a role too in how you might refer to a group of offspring like.#for so long it was 'the girls'. and i guess even if alfonse and sharena were the same gender that would likely be too informal for royalty#but like idk. 'my children'. may be too informal again/not appropriate for the setting.#but esp if there's just two of them. that's easy. just say both their names.#like yeah listing three names in a row might feel excessive. in my case.#idk idk. just bugs me.#actually it's so ryoma coded. that post floating around where he has more of a reaction to losing hinoka than takumi/sakura#and takumi/sakura are just 'the others'. lmfao. lmao.#idk like maybe it gets to me more bc i've become The Thing that everybody just politely ignores.#like if you say my name and call me by the correct pronouns i'm gonna be summoned like bloody mary to fucking kill you#who knows. maybe i will.
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hello upper middle class northern usamerican tumblr user. i want to play a game. you will notice that you are in a super america convenience store in rural kentucky - you have three minutes to purchase a snack and drink of your choice and make normal small talk with the cashier. however, if you use the word "cryptid" or generally make reference to appalachia and its inhabitants as "wild", uncivilized, or lacking restraint around alcoholic beverages during your time here, i will personally tie you to the chassis of a four wheeler and tip it into the river. live or die. make your choice
#speak friend and enter#i can appreciate mothman as much as the next guy but can we stop treating appalachia like it's the subject of a richard attenborough doc#i come from a long line of hillbillies and i like to think i've got a good sense of humor about it but sometimes i am tested#like. this is not a lawless land with a moonshine still in every holler and nameless voices in the woods!! this is a normal town!!#idk maybe i'm reading too much into it but i'm just tired of the cultural fetishization of appalachia by people who aren't from here#and who don't know anything about it. like yeah you know mothman and what hooch is and that's all well and good#but do you know what the opioid epidemic really is. do you know about the structural injustices that keep people like mcconnell in power#i'm not saying you have to apply dialectical political analysis to every issue that occurs in the region to be able to have an opinion#but also like. i'm tired of people looking at places like where i grew up and making them into things they aren't#like. on the one hand we have ''ooh spooky hills!! run if you hear the trees whisper your name''#and on the other we've got ''isn't appalachia so depressing...so hashtag ethel cain core...shame it's got no value beyond aesthetics''#and on yet another hand we have ''i - a person with no ties to the region - am going to take up the cause of every social issue#occurring across the entire appalachian region so the world will see just how bad these poor hill people have it. i am very smart''#and like. it's frustrating#i'm not saying you should never speak about appalachia if something we have is interesting to you#nor am i implying that i want to gatekeep discussion of the region's issues to the community bc that won't accomplish anything#i'm just saying that like any place it's complex. it's got its good things and it's got its bad things.#and you shouldn't isolate the good from the bad or vice versa - especially if you don't know the context in which those things happen.#and for the love of god dont let your own ignorance cause you to boil down those issues into a reductive and inaccurate set of stereotypes#learn about us from us. not from tiktok not from movies and for christ's sake not from hillbilly elegy. i hate that fucking book#anyway that got weirdly serious but i mean it. putting appalachia as a talking point up on the shelf until y'all can speak intelligently#ok to rb
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how fleeting huh
#🌙.rambles#i rlly need to be more consistent in sleeping earlier bcs these thoughts r just#ah no. they're always there. most of the time. i just take my mind off them throughout the day n.#idk i'm not in the mood to expound on that rn but it's just so bittersweet#i'm. the kind of person to keep on looking n moving forward. onwards. ever towards the morrow.#can't be helped after all when. i genuinely am curious n interested in life. i want to reach far n high n yeah#but i'm sentimental too n sensitive n emotional n i want to hold on i want to remember#but even that's just not enough n at times it really gets so hard to live w the burden of it all. it's so heavy isn't it?#i'm passionate with literature n games n music n.. i want to take in as much as i can. learn. but also create. bcs there's a lot in me too.#n it#it's just. yk when it's simultaneously so confusing n comforting. with how life is just so full of possibilities n so full of depth n#meaning n then there's stuff too like not only my personal life n the personal lives too of the ppl i personally love but#the world as a whole w. just. all the pain in general. it weighs me down too which is why when i was younger it'd be rlly#draining to be more politically-aware but. i don't fare well with ignorance either n life is just so full of contradictions#n sometimes i think too much i feel too much#too fast too slow too little too much.#but that thinking is.. i think bcs there's a standard or smth that we have in our minds#if we just. embrace who we are at our core. as humans. n let go of all those extra stuff n all#then i think i'd be more at peace. with more freedom. i feel so restrained in this#uh. it's nearly 2 am n i'm multitasking smth before i sleep so i'm not sure if this is the right word but postmodern society? not sure#but yk this society where.. toxic social media culture n then. the distance between us. the lack of understanding n sincerity#just. hurts me so much. i hate it. it's so lonely. this world is so lonely yk? as a whole#but ahh i'm thinking too much again n that combined w my own personal struggles w pushing myself to do the best i can#& then. fuck social anxiety i just can't help overthinking too often but yeah. Yeah.#i'll go sleep in a bit tho. i think i'll just do more tomorrow.
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#absolutely what the FUCK#I shared a post about looking for volunteer teachers for Palestinian refugee kids on my Insta#just got a a text from my mom that she saw it and she's repeating bullshit I'm certain she saw on Fox News#I don't know how to talk to her about the hate and the misinformation I just ignore it but that's so. I don't know. I don't know what I can#Do because when we have had convertsions once or twice on topics about which I know she is majorly misinformed#the issue is a) I am not the most informed - I can't be an expert on everything and I could be more informed about what I do know about so#have a lot of doubt while she doesn't have any#and b) even when I have opened her mind a bit when the topic comes up again it's been slammed closed. It's fucking Sisyphean#but anyway that seemed like something worth sharing bc someone in my circles may be able to contribute#and anyway it's for teaching CHILDREN. REFUGEES. Shouldn't matter where they are from#I won't repeat what she said but she's fucking. Fully lumping in all palestinians together and considering them evil.#im not taking it down. But I don't know how to fucking talk to her about anything. I don't believe I can actually change her mind#but it does feel like a cowardly move to stay silent#I cannot believe her I absolutely cannot believe her#I guess not being home right now I'm not surrounded by the same political climate so I'm missing things
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Who sends their high school classmate a Facebook friend request six years after they've graduated
#i wouldn't think it's that weird except i sent him one like sophomore year and he never accepted it >:(#he was in my sixth grade homeroom and we did theater together. many shared classes in hs. plus i SAW him use fb after that.#he saw my request as a teenager. knew who i was. and chose not to accept it.#my rejection sensitivity dysphoria used to go crazy around this guy!!!!#tales from diana#this is so out of the blue. what else am i supposed to do but overanalyze?#i saw he remade fb a few years ago at least. seemed like he deleted the one he had then.#he would pop up in my 'ppl you may know' bc he added a bunch of ppl who DID accept my friend request in high school thank you very much!!!#but i never sent him one bc i wasn't interested in it. mufucka used to act weird around me.#i can only say he seemed to think i was cute and yet at the same time he kept a disrespectful distance#we had none of the same friends. he was more popular than me. whenever we were faced w each other he was very polite#but in general he seemed to coldly ignore me whenever we were in the same room. which was often.#why did he not accept my friend request back in the day? i always thought that was weird#why is he sending me one now lol. i don't. i don't get it.#i accepted it out of curiosity but like. okay why now.
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btw if someone is listening to music it’s kind of shitty if you just go “this is a terrible song”. if you don’t like it, ask them to turn it off, or skip it, or leave the room. tell them you strongly dislike it. don’t just tell them it’s awful and expect them to fix your problem.
#this is so small and unimportant but literally every time i listen to music my mom decides this is appropriate commentary to add#like. if i'm driving i think i am going to listen to what i like thanks. if you walk into a room that i was already listening to music in#out loud then that's your fault. i hate your music and your shows too but do you see me saying that sort of stuff whenever they're playing?#no. bc i understand that that's rude. i communicate that i don't enjoy it in clear words that aren't insulting. i ask if we can listen to or#watch something else. i leave the room. i put in my own earbuds. i ignore it. i don't tell you it fucking sucks#and it would be appreciated if that could be seen as a common courtesy#also. for the record. between the two of us i am not the person who starts playing things w other people in the room without asking them if#they're alright w it bc unlike some people i also recognize that that's rude and i don't want to be annoying#and. //for the record//. when other people ask me that sort of thing i usually either say sure or ask if they'd be ok w putting in earbuds#instead or going to get my own or just politely saying i'd appreciate it if they didn't. not going ''actually i do mind bc the things you#listen to suck''. god i am so fucking bitter over this. it has been literal years of this#and sometimes she'll be like ''so WHY are we listening to this?'' or ''this is terrible'' etc etc and so later i offhandedly mention that#she doesn't like it and she's like ''what? i never said that.'' and when i say yes you did actually and recount the interaction she's like#''i don't remember that'' like yeah maybe bc you don't overthink inserting your opinions into things that bring other people joy bc you're#surrounded by people who are conscientious enough not to make you feel ashamed to like the things you do and constantly insult them#so when you accidentally do that to other people it doesn't stick with you bc you aren't *constantly thinking about all the times it's#happened to you*#so full of rage actually#ramble#vent
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red blazer (c.s.)
pairing: coryo x fem!reader
wc: 2k
tags/warnings: reader is arachne's "little sister" (they're like, a year apart lol but she GIVES little sister), sexual content if you actually squint, arachne is mean but in a big sister way, otherwise it's just cute and kinda funny. idk. enjoy!
requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them!)
nav / coriolanus snow masterlist
a/n: omg second ever coryo oneshot from me. LISTEN- i know i should do more of these BUT i loveee doing series for him bc his personality is SO fun to work with. anyway lol, check out my coryo series'.
"Maybe if you spent less time annoying me and my friends you would make some of your own." Arachne hums, sensing you standing in the doorway to the dining room where she and her friends were apparently working on some kind of assignment.
"I didn't even say anything!" You whine. "I was literally just coming to say hi."
"Well, don't. No one wants to say hi to you."
You pout, staring at her and crossing your arms. "Can I sit? Just for a few minutes? I won't even say anything. I won't bother you, I promise." There was an extremely tempting empty seat across from your sister and next to her friend Coriolanus that you'd been eying since you walked in.
He was just so pretty, so well composed, so tall, you were in love. Your crush on him had been lifelong, and with him only thirteen months older than you, it wasn't at all weird or totally unattainable. That's what you'd been telling yourself, anyway.
Arachne rolls her eyes, slamming her pen down on the table. "I already told you, the fact that you even exist is annoying to me. So, no. Go. Away."
"Arachne, it's fine if she sits for a few minutes." Clemensia cuts in, eager to just be polite but it makes you smile, nodding excitedly.
"Yeah, not everyone is as easily distracted as you are." Your heart flutters in your chest as Coriolanus comes to your defense, and you're already across the room and sliding into the seat next to him.
"You underestimate how annoying my little sister is." Arachne mumbles through gritted teeth, already looking back down at her textbook.
Coriolanus looks over at you and smiles, making the butterflies in your stomach erupt into a panicked frenzy.
"Hi." You whisper, cheeks flushing red.
"Hi." He replies quietly, his tone apologetic.
To Coriolanus Snow, Arachne's little sister was an outlier to her incredibly stuck-up family. She acted out often, was no stranger to commanding the attention of every room she entered, and to him, was the most beautiful girl to ever walk the academy halls.
So every time a group project or paper was assigned, he was forcing himself into the seat next to the oldest Crane daughter and requesting that they work together.
"Maybe at your house? Like usual?"
And it worked, one hundred percent of the time.
"What are you working on?" You whisper, leaning your elbow on the table and looking at the books he had laid out in front of him.
"Nothing fun, I assure you." He chuckles quietly, and you ignore your sister's glare that you could feel burning into your forehead.
"That's boring." You sigh quietly. "What's your favourite class?"
"Law."
"Law?" The way you scrunch up your nose and question his answer makes him smile. "I am sorry for you."
He laughs even though you weren't joking, about to ask what your favourite class was when he's stopped by your sister shouting.
"Mom! Y/N's annoying us, make her go away!"
In a flash, you're shoving the chair back and darting out of the room, disappearing down the long hall of the penthouse.
You were adorable. He knew at that moment that he had to have you.
Being Arachne Crane's "little" sister was a nightmare all on its own. She was annoying, she hated you or at least acted like it, and despite being the baby of the family it felt like every day you were making desperate attempts to claw your way out of her and your brother's collective shadow.
Maybe that's all this was. Did you really like Coriolanus, or did you just like annoying your sister?
The thought crossed your mind only momentarily before Coryo tugged gently at your hair to turn your head so he could detach his lips from yours only to move his kisses and gentle bites to your neck.
Nope, there was no way this had anything to do with your sister.
You let out a soft sigh, holding his shoulders to support yourself as you straddle his lap on the edge of your bed. "Coryo..." You whine, pouting because you know he only has so much time before his absence from the dining room would be truly noticed, and he was dragging this out more than he probably should.
"Tell me what you need, pretty girl." He hums into your skin, his hold on you shifting your hips and tightening over the waistband of your underwear- the only remaining article of clothing on your body.
"Hurry." You mumble, tilting your head down to capture his lips again.
"I told her I was leaving." He tells you between kisses. "We have all the time in the world." You can feel the smile on his lips against your own, and you match it in excitement.
By now, you'd been sneaking around for months. It had been fun, but certainly exhausting.
Worth it. One hundred percent worth it. You think to yourself as he lifts you to turn you over and lay you back on your perfectly made bed, leaning over you and reattaching his lips to your neck.
"How will you leave?" You ask breathlessly as his large hand finds your waist again, gentle but firm in its hold.
"We'll figure it out." He mumbles, clearly very far from concerned about it.
You're almost too caught in the moment to hear the banging on your door that causes you both to freeze, heads snapping in the direction of the sound.
"Y/N! Where's my shirt?! I know you took it!"
Arachne.
"Shit, shit, uh-" You panic as Coryo very quickly jumps off of you, tumbling loudly off the bed and onto the ground getting caught on the edge of your duvet.
"What the hell are you doing? I'm coming in-"
"No!" You shout, panicked as you look around. "Uh- one second, I'm naked!" Not entirely a lie. While Coryo gathers his academy uniform that's scattered across the floor, having left him only in his black boxers, you pull a towel off the back of your door and wrap it around yourself.
You have to hide him. Quickly scanning the room, you have three options: your walk-in closet, under the bed, or in your bathroom.
"Get in the closet." You whisper, quickly shoving him toward the door.
"I don't care, I need my shirt!" Arachne says, the sound of her opening your door masking the sound of your closet door closing.
Your chest is rising and falling quickly as she marches in, immediately looking around. "God, what took you so long? You look like you're having a heart attack." She mutters, digging through the laundry basket that was yet to be taken by the house staff.
"I was about to have a shower." You answer, forcing yourself to not look in the direction of the closet.
"Right." Arachne rolls her eyes, stomping into the bathroom to begin looking there.
"Why the hell are you showering at six pm? We have dinner at the Creed's in an hour." She calls out.
"That's obviously why I'm having a shower." Honestly, you had totally forgotten about dinner.
"Yeah, you probably should. It stinks in here."
You roll her eyes at her comment, but they widen in horror as her warpath begins toward the closet. "No! Wait!" You stop her, clutching the towel to your chest as you step in front of the door to stop her. "Uh- what shirt are you looking for?"
"Which shirt? The white one, with the lace trim collar. Oh my god, do you have more than one?" She asks angrily.
"Oh, that one is in the laundry. They took it yesterday." You lie and she groans, walking back toward the door.
"I hate you! God, you make everything so difficult." She mutters, stopping on her walk back to the door and looking at the few articles of clothing scattered around your bed. You follow her gaze, biting your tongue and internally cursing when you notice Coryo's blazer that was dropped haphazardly on top of the pile. She picks it up, looking it over with a furrowed brow. You watch as she looks over at yours, which is neatly pressed and folded for the morning sitting on your desk chair.
"A men's medium." She says as she reads the tag, pausing before turning back to you slowly, this time, with an off-putting smile on her face. "Who's in the closet?" She whispers, and your face burns more than it already was.
"No one." You answer quickly, possibly too quickly.
"You're lying." She states, and you shake your head quickly. It doesn't go over her head that you look like a deer caught in the headlights. "Then you won't mind if I..." She says, starting off slow before breaking into a run toward the door which you instinctively block with your body, gripping the towel with one hand and holding out the other arm to block her while you fight for the door handle handle.
"I knew it!" She hisses, finally giving up and pointing a finger right at your nose. Quickly, she looked back over her shoulder toward the open door to make sure no one else was around before she spoke again. "Is it Allium?" She asks quietly, for some reason suddenly interested in who you spend your time with, and if it's with that boy in your year who continually gets on your nerves.
You shake your head again, swallowing thickly.
"Tell me who it is."
"No one!" You lie, already knowing the bit was up as she tosses the blazer back to where she found it.
"Ugh, you're no fun." She rolls her eyes, shoving you gently before turning to leave. "Whatever. I don't care. Just don't get pregnant- I know you're stupid and all but Mom will skin you alive."
"Get out!" You snap, walking over and shoving her out the door before slamming it behind her.
You hear her laugh as she walks away, steps receding down the hall back in the direction of her own room.
You let out a tense sigh of relief, waiting a moment to hear her door closed before going over to the closet and opening the door.
Coryo is still laughing to himself as he buttons up his shirt and tucks the back of it into his pants. "Stop!" You exclaim in a whisper, giving him a gentle smack on the shoulder but you can't help but laugh as well. "It's not funny!"
"It's pretty funny." He says lowly, leaning down to kiss you softly.
"It's not that funny." You roll your eyes playfully. "We could get in serious trouble, sneaking around like this! God- it's crazy." You sigh, shaking your head as you step back into your room, suddenly serious.
He follows, sensing your worries as you drop the towel with your back facing him, quickly pulling a t-shirt on to cover up. "We can't- we have to stop." You shake your head, talking mostly to yourself.
"Hey, woah, that's a little rash, don't you think?" He asks as you turn back to face him.
"I don't!" You insist. "I mean, it sucks, but this is far too risky. We're done with... whatever this is."
Coryo shrugs, clearly unaffected by your concerns. "Let's just... next time, let's just go for dinner or something."
You tilt your head at him. "What? That's not, we can't-"
"Why not?" He asks, closing the space between you and reaching his hands out to grab your waist. "Your sister will suck it up eventually. Once she realizes how in love you are with me."
"I- I am not in love with you!" You protest, cheeks flushing pink again. "And even if I was, which I am most definitely not, she would scalp me. She doesn't care, I can't date one of her friends."
"Let me handle her." He insists, once again shrugging it off. "I'm being serious. I really like spending time with you, would it be the worst thing if we were together?"
"Wait, like, you're asking me out?"
He gives you a quick nod, still smiling at you.
"I- I mean sure, if that's what you want." You nod, blush spreading evenly across your nose. You had to blink a few times to confirm you were awake and that this was real.
"I'm asking if that's what you want." He chuckles.
"Yeah, yes. Of course." You shake your head, trying to get your thoughts straight and pull yourself together. "I would like that, Coryo."
taglist: @keziahcore, @soulessjourney, @kitscutie, @annaelise, @serrendiipty, @fratboyharrysgf0201, @totallynotkaibiased, @stelleduarte, @klplynn, @secretsicanthideanymore, @bejeweledreverie, @fals3-g0d, @gloryekaterina, @andrewgarfieldsbitch, @queenofspades6, @pepperonipastas, @ladybug0095, @lunamothwrites, @sbrewer21, @mus-tbe-a-weasley, @unclecrunkle, @karmaswitch, @rororo06, @coconut-dreamz, @nekee-lilac02, @ooooglymoooogly, @slytherinholland, @riddlerloveb0t, @lovedbalances, @notyourwildestdream, @snowlandson-top, @too-lit-for-fanfic, @utopiakys, @deafeningballoonnacho, @darlingisntit, @chmpgneprblem, @cosmoetik, @lauravanderbooben20, @dry0campa, @luclue, @lokidala, @urvampgfsworld, @carolanns-world, @that-veela-girl
#tbosas#tbosas fic#tbosas x reader#tbosas fanfiction#thg#thg fanfic#thg fic#thg fanfiction#thg series#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x you#coriolanus imagine#coryo snow#coryo x you#coryo x reader#snow x reader
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Is Lyanna really as terrible as some people portray her as?
no, not even a little bit.
the absolute most important thing about lyanna is that when she dies she is only 16. i am someone who works with kids - i work in a library so i spend most of my days cleaning up after tweens and asking teenagers to please stop doing dumb shit- and the first thing anyone who has ever worked with kids and especially teenagers is that they may look like adults but they are NOT. they don’t understand boundaries, they have next to zero impulse control, and every bad thing that happens feels like the worst thing ever because it very likely IS the worst thing they’ve ever experienced bc they have not been alive that long!
and this goes for every single teen & tween character in this series, not just lyanna! shit, i am someone who feels an immense amount of sympathy for joffrey! on one side he’s got his mother telling him he can do anything he wants with no repercussions and on the other he’s got his father hitting him so hard that stannis thought joffrey was going to die. and then he is given unchecked power and told not to abuse it! EYE cannot even guarantee that i wouldn’t use unchecked power to do shady shit and i am a fully grown adult, not a traumatized, irrationally, and deeply vindictive 13 year old boy.
but honestly the most important thing about lyanna is that we have ZERO CONTEXT for what happens between her and Rhaegar. What we have is
Ned’s sparse & guilt ridden thoughts about Lyanna and one (1) comment about Rhaegar
Robert’s angry, entitled, and grief ridden outbursts about Lyanna and Rhaegar
Barristan’s incredibly romanticized, guilt & grief ridden take on their relationship
Meera’s second hand account of Lyanna, told to her by a father who is likely just as guilt & grief ridden as the others, who likely has his own view of Lyanna
What’s important to note is that our view of her is heavily filtered through the eyes of the men that knew her. Robert loves an idealized version of her that never existed. Barristan never actually knew her. Ned is not only viewing her under 200 layers of guilt and grief, but very obviously does not understand his sister, or why she made the choices she did, and struggles constantly with knowing that he will never know her the way he wishes he could, the way he thought he did. Given the way Meera describes Lyanna, I actually think Howland is our most accurate look at her but even that is buried behind years of grief & a fair amount of hero worship and affection (“that’s my fathers man you’re kicking howled the she-wolf” is a line that makes me WEEP for this exact reason; Howland sees Lyanna as his hero above all else!).
All of that to say - we don't even know what Lyanna did that was so terrible! Even if she was a grown woman capable of making rational decisions, we have no idea what her decisions were. She could have been lied to, misled, kidnapped, threatened, just as surely as she could have walked into the situation with open eyes. Even in the show, with a slightly aged up Lyanna - we get, what, just Sam's opinion on Rhaegar and Lyanna being in love because they got hitched? Completely ignoring the fact that we had several women in this series get married not because they were in love or willing but because someone more powerful decided on it and that was that, so there's still no evidence that Lyanna had enough information about the situation to make any sort of informed, consensual decision.
so no, i do not hold lyanna responsible for anything at all that happened regardless of how it happened because she was not mentally mature enough to understand what the hell was going on. a 15 year old is just not mature enough to think “if i run off with this married man, it’s going to cause a cascade of political issues that could have disastrous consequences.” what she’s probably thinking is “this man says he can help me and i am fucking miserable and no one else will listen.” it’s why we don’t throw 15 year olds who run away to meet up with old dudes they met online in jail when they’re caught (or theoretically why we don’t punish them at any rate). There is one person and one person only who is responsible for the massive fuck up that is the Elia-Rhaenys-Aegon-Lyanna-Jon mess and that is RHAEGAR, the person with the most amount of power who used it in the dumbest way imaginable and got himself, most of his heirs, his wife, and his teenaged mistress killed. The only other people responsible are the Kingsguard who kept Lyanna under lock and key while she lay dying and pleading for her brother to come save her.
#lyanna stark#anti rhaegar targaryen#valyrianscrolls#gender politics in asoiaf#mariages in asoiaf#asks#anons
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(SPOILERS) Andrew and plausible deniability, OR: mfer doesn't wanna be held accountable for his actions
This has been churning in my head for a while (I am mentally ill 🥴), but a large part of the driving force behind Andy and his actions is his aversion to blame. He sorta shares this w/Ashley (she's got quite a few rants abt how things aren't her fault), but I believe Andrew takes it just a step further.
I've seen many say this before, but from the start of the game, you'll notice that even beyond normal moral quandaries, Andrew's first objection to any horrific action Ashley proposes is usually a variance of "what if we get caught?". He objects not bc her ideas are ethically repugnant, but bc they could be found out as having done them, and he knows rationally that others know they're bad. This goes as far back as childhood with the Nina incident. He fears punishment and the threat of prison more than he apparently worries about what his crimes might mean for him as a person or what they might mean for the people that might be affected by them (save him and Ashley). This doesn't mean he doesn't feel guilt or have nightmares abt them, but they're not his first priority. Trouble's a pain to deal with, and the dude's low-energy.
In fact, most of his guilt seems largely self-centered. Like, no exaggeration: if it isn't about either him or Ashley (which is, in a way, lowkey also about him), then he couldn't really care less. Do you recall him ever expressing worry or remorse on Nina's behalf? Mourning her? We think Ashley's the one w/empathy issues, but Andrew's in the same boat imo. Self-preservation and self-interest is all that's keeping him seemingly amiable enough for polite society, bc for the most part, he really couldn't be bothered.
In his dreams, the victims of their murders are just bodies: interchangeable, holding no more meaning beyond the fact that they're dead. Any corpse's limb will do to replace the one Ashley cooked—never mind that they may be from different people—bc they're all the same to him. Even Julia, sitting in her dorm room surrounded by evidence of Ashley's harassment, gets no sympathy from Andrew. For the most part, he elects to ignore it all, and regards Julia herself with a detached sorta nostalgia tinged in no small part with apathy.
img txt: You'll never see her again. And the fact that it doesn't really bother you, bothers you.
(The only things of notable worth from her were the colored pencils on her desk, which he promptly takes from her to give to Leyley instead, and isn't that just some crazy symbolism right there?)
His fear of punishment goes hand-in-hand with his desperate pursuit of plausible deniability. Everything he does, he does under certain self-imposed conditions. If it's Ashley's idea and he argues back, it doesn't matter in the end if he goes along with it, bc it was Ashley's idea in the first place. He's just there to make sure she doesn't get them in trouble, bc she needs him, bc he's gotta take care of her. Even if it's not her idea at all (e.g., killing the closet warden, killing the lady in room 302), it's still her fault, bc he did it for her, bc everything he does, he does for her.
Ashley's a manipulative, evil lil possessive gremlin w/a soul as black as tar, and Andy's a doormat, but don't think for a second that part of him doesn't use that dynamic a little to keep from reflecting on what he is. He suffocates under it, but he also relies on it. If there's any sort of plausible deniability available, he'll take it and run with it.
The truth of the matter is that they're both deeply toxic, warped individuals. The difference is that Ashley's owned up to it and quite frankly doesn't care. Andrew hasn't. He's the "normal" one.
Now, for the funky incest part (what we're all here for babyyyyy)—
We've all seen the flavor text abt the bed-sharing by now, right?
img txt: Oh yeah, you tooootally have nightmares as often as you claim.
We know for a fact that aside from some light teasing, maybe, Ashley would have no problem whatsoever with sharing a bed w/Andrew. Heck, she'll coax him into bed (demo) or climb onto the couch with him (ep 2) w/o any prompting from him whatsoever, just bc she feels like it. Andrew, apparently, can't do the same. He doesn't allow himself this intimacy of his own choosing, so he has to lie and pretend to get it if he wants it. He's greedy for her, too, but he can't let himself show it.
If something is sufficiently too intimate in his eyes, beyond anything he can excuse away for some reason or another, then he'll stop himself from doing it. Just like how he wouldn't let himself succumb to the urge of pulling Ashley into his arms to make her smile, but is willing to give her a hug when she asks for it in front of their parents.
He insists on the extra expense of two beds, and then cites his nightmares and panic attacks as the driving force behind crawling into bed w/her, bc then it isn't really his fault now, is it? He tried to stay away, after all. He did! He just didn't have a choice!
Lol
Andrew can't admit to wanting this—buries those feelings and thoughts as deep as he can so they fester and bleed, the repressed idiot—so he gives Ashley all the power to decide how close they get. It's in Ashley's hands. He's free of that hassle.
Which is why the post-sex vision, and Ashley's reaction to it, is so dangerous. @csg-iii made a good point about it in my last post:
img txt: I think the biggest point about "11" is that Andrew asks/begs Ashley for reassurance that it will never happen ("never say never"). It's a subtle admission that if she really wants it to happen, he knows he won't be able to resist his own urges. His only ""hope"" of avoiding going there is if Ashley doesn't want it.
Andrew, in absolving himself of this choice and putting it in Ashley's hands, shoots himself in the foot, bc what if Ashley goes the whole mile? Then the only real thing keeping his desires unrealized was the fact that they had never been voiced as an option before.
He doesn't want to think of himself as someone who'd bone his own sister. Forget being a cannibal, demon summoner, or a murderer; those titles were foisted upon him. This is too close to something real that he carries inside him; this isn't anything Ashley's buried in him, but rather something of his own invention. Something he'll definitely have to take responsibility for.
#the coffin of andy and leyley#tcoaal#coffincest#andrew graves#txt post#yeah......... I'm rambling again sorry guys#character analysis
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haikyuu boys as icks
because my favorite thing is humbling men and fictional men are no exception | aot version & jjk version
atsumu:
does that thing where he "forgets to know your name" so he doesn't look obsessed with you, but in reality he just looks like a douchebag LOL he's comes up to you all nonchalant like "y/n, right?" as if he doesn't follow you on ig and like all of ur pics....and he thinks it makes him look so cool and popular and mysterious and then u look him dead in the eye and ur like "yeah, you're osamu, right?" he's humbled very quickly
osamu:
when he’s really tired or clingy, he talks in a baby voice :/ sometimes even refers to himself in the third person :/ just typing this rn is making me frown with disappointment. like yeah atsumu may be the more dramatic twin, but thats only bc he’s shameless in public. behind closed doors, osamu is right there w/ him. you find him pouting on the couch after a long day like “osamu wants cuddles >:(” or “can we make dinner together i’m hungwy >:(” big offender of the “sowwy” and “pwease” agenda. arrest him
suna:
is the embodiment of that one trend where you tell guys they look like they can’t swim and they get so unnecessarily defensive about it LOL. you say he “gives off a vibe that he can’t swim that well” and hes DISTRAUGHT...immediately whipping out all of his cards to prove you wrong like “obviously i can swim, wtf let’s go find a public pool rn and i’ll show you how good i can swim” also gets you back in such a ruthless way like “okay, but i can. and you look like you don’t know how to read.” feelings end up hurt on both ends :/
hinata:
whenever you guys go to the store, he holds up the line because he’s like “oh, i have a coupon for that!!! :)” but it's never convenient at all. it could be for the most minuscule or absurd products too, like toilet paper or ballpoint pens, and he’s digging through his wallet once you guys reach the register. like baby AREN’T YOU A PRO ATHLETE???? i think you can afford the extra $1.42 for granola bars. you bring up the idea of him having the coupon ready before he gets in line and he’s like “idk i don't wanna hold it for that long 🥱”
kageyama:
LEAVES HIS BEARD HAIR IN THE SINK AFTER SHAVING. oh my god, i am making myself angry rn. you rinse it out every single time and when you ask him if he knows what happens to all of his little trimmings, he’s just like “idk....i guess they just evaporate or slide down over time” when you literally clean up after him like a maid :I he makes me sick (inspired by that one tiktok of the oblivious husband and knowing wife)
bokuto:
doesnt understand politics so he just labels himself as “non-political” which comes across as him just being douchey :/ it makes him look so ignorant when he first tells you :/ like a man who thinks he’s too good to be socially and politically aware bc it doesn't affect him / when in reality, politics just really isn't his forte academically and he’s never learned the basics of it :/ because he is really smart ok i stand by this!!!! he’s a scholar and a college grad...he just only focuses on his areas of interest. take a gov course baby expand ur horizons
akaashi:
if you ask him those silly hypothetical relationship questions (the ones where you just want him to say something sweet, something that proves he loves you) he is not having it in the slightest. you ask him “would you still love me if i was a worm?” and he’s deadly serious like “no? one, that's not even possible. two, if i’m ever attracted to a worm then i need to be constrained and arrested. three, i think that’s really wrong for you to expect me to seamlessly deal with that big of a transition in our relationship--” and you have to be like OH MY GODDD OKAYYYYY IT WAS A TEST!!! AND YOU FAILED!!!
kuroo:
millennial core LOLLLLLLL im sorry. he posts a pic of him after he gets his hair cut and captions it “just did a thing! :P” EWWWW my toes are curling rn. he takes his selfies from the highest mom facebook angle and does the signature middle aged white man smirk. if he ever films a video of himself it’s so cringy bc he does the millennial zoom in and talks as if he’s a movie protagonist. attends a single work meeting and claims he’s “adulting 😂” at the ripe age of 27
oikawa:
when he really likes you, he does that thing where he's like "you're just not like other girls/people!!!! you're so different!!!!!!" you do basic human things like don't constantly wear makeup or eat whatever you please and he's like "i love how you can be so real around me, you're so quirky <3" you shave your legs or do your hair and he’s like “baby you don’t have to do all of this for me!!!!” he’s never touched a woman in his life. self unaware king
iwaizumi:
swears that period cramps are not that bad and that people who get periods over-exaggerate to make men (or people who don’t get periods in general) feel guilty about not dealing with them. believes with his entire chest that “getting kicked in the balls” is equivalent to the pain of childbirth. one day you jokingly buy one of those period cramp simulator machines and hook him up to it. he's all “i’m gonna be fine babe” and “it probably just feels like a stomach ache”.... he doesnt get past the 3rd setting and is holding back tears when you finally turn it off
#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#hq headcanons#haikyuu headcanons#atsumu x reader#atsumu headcanons#osamu x reader#osamu headcanons#suna x reader#suna headcanons#hinata x reader#hinata headcanons#kageyama x reader#kageyama headcanons#bokuto x reader#bokuto headcanons#akaashi x reader#akaashi headcanons#kuroo x reader#kuroo headcanons#oikawa x reader#oikawa headcanons#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi headcanons
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IWTV Twitter and the so-called "Fake Black Fans" Invasion
Something that I've been seeing a lot after it gained traction on Max is white fans condescendingly talking down to Black fans, some of whom have been in this fandom longer than they have, and acting as if they don't know what they are talking about because of their critique including a concept or subtext they wish to ignore. I want to repeat that this doesn't happen in the same amounts to white fans who make analyses or memes, it seems to uniquely be Black fans speaking AAVE or with Black pfps (visibly black bc of this) being bombed in the comments for having valid opinions.
I reached about the fifth tweet of white women going onto posts of Black people (particularly older women on Black Twitter) talking about IWTV and saying "You don't know what you're talking about, read the source material/finish the show" or entirely saying that "You don't understand fandom culture". Prompting those Black people to respond curtly that they, in fact, have read the source material, finished the show long before they have, and have been a fandom elder since before they even rolled into town. I witnessed someone doing BABY talk to a 30-year-old Black woman who was talking about episode 5, with "Well you see, it's not my fault you can't read". And when the woman professed anger back, she was the one blocked.
I witnessed this backhanded shit FIVE TIMES over the course of this week. With different white women doing the job of whitesplaining fandom culture and Anne Rice to random Black fans who already know unprompted with a level of passive aggressiveness and annoyance that only comes with doing it repeatedly. I must assure you (white people who are doing this) nobody asked, you can put down your task and stop pretending like you are doing something Sisyphean. You are not legally required to explain and describe IWTV poorly while getting into screaming matches with far more educated Black fans on Twitter and Tumblr.
People are acting as if there's a rising population of Black fans who are "Fake Fans" and must be stopped, lest they start up the freaky discourse. OOHHH NOOOO! Whatever are we to do then???? And therefore it is completely normal and a civic duty to blast Black fans in the comments of everything that they say about the show or the books.
I've been seeing people unironically football tackle reaction posts of the show with paragraphs worth of text that is inflammatory and backhanded. This is even more apparent when the poster is visibly black or uses AAVE. The association is that Black people who use AAVE or memes obviously are uneducated, lack media literacy, and cannot consume content the way that "White" fans do.
It is an attempt to tone police Black fans away from creating new topics of discussion or creating/expanding the fandom space with the growing watcher-base. It always has to happen in their chosen language, on their time, in the places they can reach us and yell some more. They are very discomforted when Black fans have pockets in fandom where they can't be outnumbered and they do in fact control discourse in a way that isn't productive to respectability. (As much as I am a big fan of big words and rambling, that is somewhat what is expected in this fandom as a Black person to be considered "respectable" and I'm not willing to ignore or shy away from that).
This is also hand in hand with my previous thoughts about fans' dog-whistling about media becoming accessible/mainstream and how "Others" will ruin it and outnumber them. I noticed that in the IWTV fandom, it seems like white fans believe that the "Others" is just Black Twitter in general. Not just "Twitter" but specifically Black people who don't fit into their narrow respectability politics.
I hate to tell you all this, but Black fandom culture is still fandom culture, and Black people do in fact read and write. I should not be seeing a pattern of random white fans going into the comments of Black people who mention IWTV and automatically assuming that they have no clue what they're talking about.
Like clockwork, exactly as when the show came out, racist white book fans started up the discourse of "The Black people are going to ruin fandom with their racism discourse and spit on Anne Rice!" and then when that time passed, the show reaches Max, and here they go barking again.... We really need to get a muzzle.
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things that are irrelevant and stupid but get on my nerves because I'm mentally ill and too invested in this show and need to be told in a kourtney kardashian voice that "people are dying, lamb":
people on tiktok going on and on about "lolol how did Will payed for Hannibal's therapy?? there's no way he could afford that lolol" WILL HAS MONEY WILL IS NOT POOR. He grew up poor but excuse me you??? he is not only a professor in the fbi academy but also a special fucking agent who solves crimes like no other. also he DID HE PAYED FOR THE FUCKING SESSIONS HANNINAL LITERALLY SAYS THAT ON THE SHOW did you not fucking watch it?
"hannibal is sooo mean he would judge me for being poor" are u insane that man is extremely polite? he would never judge someone for shit like that, what show did you even watch? Will would probably judge you a lot more than Hannibal, he literally hates everyone and doesn't hide it.
"Will would've been such a great dad to Abigail" my god stop projecting your desire to be Will's lolita type daughter unto something that has nothing to do with that. Will was a terrible father/caregiver to her as well as Molly's kid. ARE U WATCHING THE SHOW OR JUST READING HEADCANONS??
"Will is so smol bean he is a picky eater and he hates the big light and and" MY GOD we get it, you're autistic and you wanna force Will to be just like you, but that's not canon, you wanna headcanon about it? great go ahead but don't act like this isn't a personal delusion of yours. Yes obviously they are both on the spectrum but no, Will does not have any of these traits, you're basically describing Hannibal like why ignore that and just project unto a character that has a completely different type of autistic trait??
"Hannibal isn't tender, you were brainwashed by him" are u fucking dumb this is literally the opposite. YOU were brainwashed by him if you think he's a big scary monster with no feelings boo 👻 . have media literacy. his character is literally all about creating a mask that protects him from his tenderness. y'all are the same people who think Will is a smol bean.
don't get worked up in the comments and reposts, I am self aware and literally wrote in the goddamn post that I know this is stupid and irrelevant and who cares bc it's just a tv show and blablabla so don't bother, I'm aware, I just don't care and wanted to whine
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Stolen Hoodie | Bada Lee Social Media Au
pairings: bada lee x shin nari
prev - next
a/n: AHHHH LOOK AT THE EDIT (banging my head against the door from excitement bc this is the first edit i got for my work LIKE THIS IS HUGE FOR ME) thank you sooooo much @drkbibi you made my day🤍
As the teacher droned on, Nari was struggling to maintain her patience. She wanted nothing more than to be anywhere else.
"I understand," she replied, her tone neutral and her gaze wandering towards the windows beyond. Even though she dreaded the teacher's presence, she forced herself to be polite.
"No you don't understand miss Shin" the teacher hissed making Nari furrow her brows "She punched a boy"
Nari's anger was beginning to boil over, her patience worn thin. "I'm sure you're not suffering from memory, but I have come here on multiple occasions to address this issue. All you've ever said in response has been the hollow promise that something will be done."
"We looked into this matter-"
"But nothing has happened," she continued, her voice dripping with disdain, "If you really looked did something that boy would've stopped but he didn't, the bullying only got worse"
The teacher thinned her lips "Miss Shin I am a teacher, I know better than you. They're just kids, Hana is being dramatic by a few teasings-"
Nari's brow knit together in frustration, unable to believe the teacher's sheer audacity.
"Are you calling her a liar?" Nari hissed, her voice dripping with venom, "How can you dismiss her concerns so easily? She is only a child, struggling with constant teasing and harassment. Yet you would dismiss these blatant acts of bullying as 'just kids being kids'?"
Nari knew this teacher well. One who brushed off the complaints of a less fortunate student, only to pamper to one of high status. If a child from a wealthy background whined, they'd immediately bow at their feet. But if one without means asked for help? They were ignored. With their suffering and pleas brushed off like a fly.
"I don't care if that boy's family contributes generously to this institution. If my sister is going to face punishment, so is he." Nari spat the words out, staring down the teacher with steely conviction.
The teacher scoffed, "Hana has told me about how you raised her, and," she cleared her throat, "that her father is often 'mean'. However, violence is never the answer. I expect better from you, as she is but a child, whose innocence must be protected and preserved. Whatever happens in your home shall remain private and shall not be allowed to influence her. We do not wish for Hana to be easily influenced or swayed by the dynamics within her household"
Nari's fingers were twitching, struggling to maintain her composure. She wasn't sure if the teacher was suggesting that Hana was learning violence from her father or not, but now it seemed clear that was the case. This teacher knew about the situation at home, and yet she still had the audacity to punish Hana for retaliating against her bully.
Nari chuckled coldly "you little bi-"
"Nini" a soft voice stopped her from showing the teacher her place
Nari's eyes softened as she saw her younger sister standing behind the teacher, her messy pigtails and crooked bow tying her heart in knots. Her bag was over her shoulder, ready to go, and her smile was as charming as ever, as if the situation was nothing more than a passing moment of joy.
"Consider yourself lucky my sister arrived, because this would have ended quite differently otherwise," she threatened, and the teacher widened her eyes in shock.
"But don't worry," Nari continued, "I'll return."
With that, she turned on her heel and grabbed her sister's hand, the two sister's making their way out of the school. Their footsteps echoing through the halls, fading as they left the building, the teacher left speechless in their wake.
Nari stopped and crouched down to be at her sister's level. She gently took her sister's face in her hands, staring into her eyes with understanding.
Nari's expression softened as tears threatened to fall, but she held them back, wanting to remain strong for her sister. She gently caressed Hana's hair in a gesture of affection, trying to comfort her.
"Nini are you mad at me?" Hana asked "He was being mean"
"Of course not," Nari reassured her sister, "Just next time, don't punch him. Come and tell me instead, alright? I'll handle everything."
"Won't you get in trouble for that?" her sister asked, a frown crossing her face. "Every time you help me, dad becomes angry and is mean to you."
Nari's heart ached as she saw her younger sister so worried. She was barely a child herself, her worries and fears too big for her small shoulders to bear. But despite her age, her worries were as real as anyone else's.
"Don't worry about me," Nari whispered, wrapping her arms around Hana in a warm embrace. She pressed a gentle kiss against Hana's temple
"This time will be different, I promise," Nari said, her voice cracking slightly as she fought back tears. "I won't let dad decide what's right and wrong, and you'll always have me on your side. I'll protect you, no matter what."
With that, Nari gently pulled away and looked into Hana's eyes, hoping to reassure her.
A warm smile lit up Hana's face as Nari grabbed her hand and they began to walk. Taking out her phone, Nari checked the time, letting out a curse when she saw that she was really late. She had to send a message to Bada. However, just as she was about to do so, her phone suddenly died.
"Fuck" Nari muttered and turned to Hana "We need to meet up with a friend of mine so I can give her something," Nari told her sister.
But Hana's gaze was elsewhere. When Nari followed her eyes, she saw a familiar man approaching their direction.
Nari felt a sense of familiarity when she saw this man, as if she had seen him before. But her memory was hazy, clouded by her other worries and concerns.
"Hey Nari," the man said, stopping in front of them.
Hana looked at her sister with confusion, and Nari looked back at her with a similar expression.
"Uh, hi?" Nari said, her voice tinged with confusion. "Sorry, who are you?"
The man's smile fell slightly, but he managed to hold it.
"Jake. Jake Sim. Do you remember me?" He asked, and a pang of recognition shot through Nari as the name finally clicked in her head.
"Oh. Right. The Twitter guy," she said, rolling her eyes. "What do you want?"
"My mom works here so I came to drop something for her. I saw you and wanted to say hi" he paused "and ask you something"
"Hana, can you go on over there and sit?" Nari asked, and her sister complied, walking a safe distance away from the two adults' conversation, but not so far away that she couldn't hear them.
"What do you want?" Nari asked Jake, her tone hard and dry. She knew what he was gonna ask, his comments under her tweets told her enough
Jake grinned, placing his hand on his neck. "I sent you a message, but you must not've seen it."
Nari groaned inwardly, this man can't take a hint
"I wanted to ask if you're free this week, do you want to hang out?" He asked, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes "Like on a date"
"Look, I've seen your messages, and I ignored you," she said with a calmness that belied an seething, underlying frustration.
"I've made things perfectly clear by never replying to you. That obviously means I'm not interested. It couldn't be any more evident."
"But that doesn't mean we can't try," he persisted. He was clearly not going to back down
Nari finally had had enough when he grabbed her hand. "Man, back off." She hissed, with mounting annoyance. "I don't even like men. I'm done with this bullshit."
"You don't?" He asked, a hint of confusion in his tone.
"I thought it was obvious," Nari said, rolling her eyes with a heavy sigh.
"Don't let that ruin the fun of anything with me," Jake said with a smile, oblivious to her discomfort.
Nari rolled her eyes again, feeling her anger growing. Enough. She began to walk away, dragging Hana by the hand, and picking up her bag along the way. She was done with his bullshit. She was tired of dealing with such clueless men.
Now all she needed to do was go faster to the place she agreed to meet with Bada, hoping she will still be there
Nerves got to Bada, who kept nervously tapping her feet. This annoyed an elderly woman seated next to her, but Bada didn't seem to mind.
No matter how hard she tried, Bada couldn't stop her mind from drifting back to the brunette with the short hair. She wondered why her heart was beating so fast. Just a week ago, she couldn't even stand the woman. Now everything about her intrigued her.
She checked the time, realizing she was a full 10 minutes late to the meet-up. She quickly sent Nari a message asking for her whereabouts.
Yet, her many messages were no use. Nari still did not reply. As time progressed, Bada grew more and more annoyed. The longer it went, the more she felt hurt. It would have been better to at least receive some sort of text from Nari, letting her know why she had not arrived yet, but Bada had recieved none.
Just as Bada was about to call Tatter, a notification caught her attention. With a click, she opened it, only to be met with a paragraph that left her feeling upset.
She scoffed, after locking her phone. Both of her emotions of hurt and anger were evident. While Bada waited for her for almost an hour, Nari was off, having fun with some man. She was mad, and most importantly she was upset. Bada would not lie to herself. She knew deep inside her that her feelings for Nari had grown more than the slightest bit. So, seeing that post hurt her more than she could have ever imagined.
She felt stupid for thinking that Nari's flirting carried any truth, and that she meant it in some way. In fact, Nari often flirted with many other people, so Bada was naive for thinking that she meant it.
Kicking the rock before her in anger, she rose from her seat and started walking away. The sound of her phone drew her attention. Still annoyed, she decided to see what it was. But, when she saw the message, she froze. Just by a single letter in the contact name, she knew who this was. Yeri, a name she was not expecting to see right now. Her heart sank. She had thought everything was over, but seeing her name on her phone screen made her stomach drop.
#bada lee#bada lee imagine#bada lee edit#bada lee fanfic#bada lee x oc#bada lee x reader#gxg#wlw#bada lee x yn#swf#stolen hoodie smau#social media au#bada lee x y/n#bada lee imagines#bada lee au#lee bada#bada lee fanfiction#wlw au#swf fanfic
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