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xexiar · 7 months

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Keep Watching. 32

Ch31 Ao3

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Chapter 32

When we returned to the locker room, I tried my best to just focus on changing. But I couldn’t help but take sneak peeks at Deku’s ankles. I knew what I saw before PE class. Yet, now I was sure of it. Why was he wearing two ankle bracelets? I didn’t even know he was into those things. And something about this felt off. Maybe I should confront him after that damn dance thing against round face.

The last stretch of homeroom was boring. Besides sensei going over our matches, it felt dull. While he went over Deku’s match, I couldn’t help but pay just enough attention to when sensei mentioned that Deku was being reckless. Of course, the nerd was being reckless. At this point, it should be his legal middle name. After that, I didn’t pay much attention.

I did wonder if I put enough force behind my explosions when using my left hand. “Bakugo.” I quickly looked up and noticed it was my turn. “Your movements are still too stiff.” Sensei then went on and on about how I needed to change up from only using brute force. Saying how sometimes a gentle touch is all that is needed in certain situations.

Well, excuse me if that’s not my style. Being upfront and aggressive has always landed me a win. At that, it’s not like my moves are random. I’m very aware that one slip and my quirk can render me useless. And the only time I somewhat lost fighting the way I did was against Deku. Yet, I don’t count that as a true loss. Compared to everyone I fought, he’s the only one who knew my every move.

Deku knows how I fight. So, it was like being up against a mirror. Not to mention, I also let my emotions against him control me that day. I was so ready to let loose and make him surrender that I forgot how smart he was. Which I will not make the same mistake again. Especially after learning that he’s stronger than he looks. And that was just making this even more exciting.

After writing “loser” on round face forehead, I looked to see where Deku was. He had some explaining to do, and I wasn’t going to let him get away. Apparently, he was talking to dunce face. Something about a skatepark. Before I could approach them, shitty hair came over to me. “What do you want?”

“Calm down, bro. I was just checking to see if you wanted to come with us.” I watched as he pointed over to where the rest of our male classmates were. “Kaminari invited us to chill out at a nearby skatepark. So, you in?” I gave one more look over to Deku and saw him smiling as he spoke with most of our male classmates. And for some reason, I was feeling a wave of different emotions. From a hint of annoyance to flat-out giddy. There was also something else, but I don’t know what that was. It didn’t help when Deku looked over at us and waved. Damn it, nerd.

“Sure, I guess.” With that, we all started walking as if going to the station. But when we were a block away, we made a left instead of a right. Then, a few more blocks, and there we were. I have never been to a local indoor skatepark before. So, this was something new. At that, this place had a shop and a rental station.

As I watched the others get their own gear, I wasn’t surprised to see how Deku already had his foldable skateboard. I then witnessed how he frowned when he looked over at me. Which I quickly looked away. “I have a spare skateboard if you want it.” I looked over my shoulder and saw how the nerd was handing a skateboard to me. In fact, it looked just like the one from that night. So I snatched it out of his hands.

…

I still couldn’t believe that Bakugo agreed to come along. And as we walked to the skatepark, I happened to notice how far back Midoriya walked behind us. Even Bakugo would occasionally look back before quickly looking away. But I paid him no mind as my thoughts went about what I would do at the park. It’s not like I knew how to skate or anything. I could just watch everyone.

“Are you not gonna join us, Kirishima?” I looked to my left and saw that Kaminari was standing next to me.

“It’s all good, bro. I just don’t know how to skate. So, I’ll stay back and watch. I could even record you guys and watch our bags.”

“That’s what the lockers are for.”

“You can’t be serious, shitty hair!” We both looked over at Bakugo, who happened to walk over to us.

…

How did I get here? When did I get to the cemetery? Wasn’t I at the skatepark with some of my classmates? That’s when I recalled seeing Kacchan teaching Kirishima how to use a skateboard. Then I just ran away. As the memory of how that scene unfolded, I couldn’t take it. But why did I run here?

I started to walk around the cemetery until I found a recently buried grave. My chest started to ache as I could feel the burning wetness of tears pouring out of my eyes. Reading the tombstone had me feeling like a bubble of air was trapped in my throat. So, I just let it.

“FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” I couldn’t stop screaming as I fell to my knees. “FUCK! FUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Why does it hurt so much? Why do I even try? Nobody wants me! My father left without giving me a second thought! My own mother cries about how she doesn’t want me around! Even the one person I had managed to become friends with turned his back on me! Why doesn’t anyone want me? What did I do to make everyone hate me? “Fuck them!”

I looked at the tombstone again. “YOU FUCKING BASTARD! WHY DID YOU LEAVE!” Ripping the grass under my hands, I threw it at the stone. “DIDN’T YOU FUCKING LOVE US!” The stories mom told of this man never made any sense. It didn’t help that every time I asked questions, she would start to cry and say I was being a bad son for not believing in her. And after we learned I was quirkless, mom really wasn’t home. She was already barely home to begin with. But after the news, it was like she abandoned me. “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU ABANDONED YOUR FUCKING FAMILY!”

Memories of how the only time I ate at home, growing up, was when mom was in between jobs. If not for that, the only food I survived on was the school lunches. And using whatever money mom gave me to buy food at a convenience store. But nobody would have noticed because nobody cared. I threw more grass at the tombstone. “SHE FUCKING CRIED ABOUT YOU EVERY FUCKING NIGHT! EVERY FUCKING NIGHT! BASTARD!”

When mom is home, all she fucking did was eat. She may have never screamed or hit me, but the silence hurts so much more. Staring at those emotionless eyes growing up never gets easy. And when she did get angry at something I did, she threw my things away. She would just walk out for hours at a time. Sometimes, it felt like she would never come back. But when she did return, she was drunk and sent me to my room.

Memories of how I showed her that I had been practicing my writing. Only for her to take it and throw it away, and when she found my first hero journal, she demanded that I stop. To have my own mother not believe in me. I sat back and looked at the tombstone. “I HATE YOU!” After I went home from the first time I was sent to the hospital, I learned that the number I thought was mom’s was wrong. It hurt to learn that my own mother gave me a fake number so I wouldn’t bother her.

Then, when mom got fired from the hotel, she blamed it on me. When something went wrong, mom would cry at night. And I could hear when she said things about me. Oh, how much she blamed that she had to take care of a son who didn’t have a future. I truly was a burden in her eyes. But the one time I tried to confront her about this, she flat-out lied to my face. She had that big smile and said how I was a blessing in her life.

But I knew that smile. It was the smile she used when she brought me something so I could leave her alone. The smile that spoke how she wanted me to shut up. A smile that screamed what I thought was unimportant. I don’t think I could ever recall seeing that smile and it meaning something positive. After learning I was quirkless, I questioned every single thing mom did. “She hates me, by the way.”

“Who hates you?” What the heck? I quickly looked towards the voice and saw the lady from the funeral. I stood up and brushed off the dirt from my knees. And I then started to walk away. “Hold on.”

I looked behind me before turning fully around and bowing. “I apologize if I disturbed you.” Before I could leave, something grabbed my shoulder.

“You have every right to be angry.” I looked behind me at the women. “Can we talk?”

“Mom said I shouldn’t talk to you.”

I watched as the lady let out a sigh as she let go of my shoulder. “That woman sure does hold a grudge for a long time?” That’s when I turned to face her. “You look just like your father. I’m sure he would have been proud if he had came back, alive.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She pointed to a nearby bench, and I followed her.

“After learning about his recent mission, he reached out to me. He spoke about how he wanted me to find his wife and son. Something about him fearing how the mission was going to end. And he wanted me to tell Inko and Izuku that he loved them so much. How, if he survived, he was going to quit and come home.” I then watched as tears rolled down her face. “Even though he knew nobody ever came back alive once they became a weapon of the SS Military.” She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped at her tears. “I fear my damn brother didn’t tell Inko the true nature of his job. Knowing him, he probably wanted to protect her from the truth.”

I then watched as she started to shake as she cried into her handkerchief. What exactly could I say at a time like this? She looks to be in so much pain. And I feel so useless for not being able to do anything. But then something started to bug me. “What does SS mean?”

She looked up from her hands before she fully faced me. “It means Secret Service. Similar to the Hero Public Safety Commission here in Japan. But the SSM is on a global scale. At that, once you sign up or are recruited, like your father, it’s a lifelong contract. Going against orders means death. They are much stricter than the Commission.” She then held my left hand. “Promise me something.”

“What is it?”

“I know we only recently met in person, but I’m aware you were recommended to join the army. Especially part of the global faction. Promise me if the SSM ever approaches you to join, turn them down. Tell them that you flat out aren’t interested.” Tears began to run down her face again. “If you need another reason why you shouldn’t. You won’t be able to be in the public eye. Everything you do has to be done in complete secret. It’s the reason your parents had to elope instead of a public wedding. The SSM will ruin your life. So please, nephew.”

“I promise.” She let out a deep breath before letting go of my hand. “But how did you know I was recommended to join the army?”

She put her handkerchief back in her pocket. “I saw you last week. I was surprised when I spotted a green-haired kid at the security gates. I was taking a jog around the base. Curiosity got the best of me, and so I followed you to the gym. Then, the moment you turned, I saw it.” She had a smile. At that, it was so similar to mine. “You look exactly like my twin brother. So, the next day, I asked Mr. Jones about you. I was the one who gave him the photo of my brother. Did you like it?”

“That was you!” She nodded her head. “Thank you.” Then I just realized something and couldn’t help but ask. “Can I ask how your quirk works?”

She blinked for a moment before sitting back into the bench. “Why am I even surprised? Especially after what Dr. Clarke told me about you. So, what is it that you want to know?”

“For starters, how are you even able to blow fire?”

“Well, our spit is a type of naphtha.” I quickly took out my phone and opened my note app. When I get home, I’ll transfer my notes to a proper notebook. “Then we have to take extremely deep breaths. Especially if we’re trying to shoot out a long and powerful stream of fire. I’m so grateful that we have such deep lungs.” She then opened her mouth and pointed at her teeth. “Our teeth act like a match when we blow through them. But if you want to make a small flame, you have to keep your tongue flat and try to avoid your teeth.” She then placed a hand over her chest. “If our emotions get out of control, our fire becomes dangerous to us.”

“How is that possible?”

She looked at me. “When our heart is racing out of control, doesn’t matter the emotion, we tend to breathe flames inward. So, basically, we choke on our own fire.” She then had a weak smile. “If what Dr. Clarke said was true,” She pointed at her chest again. “You have the same heart condition as me and your father. If you’re not careful, your heart will fail you. It’s a very painful sensation to have your heart just stop. And if you’re not able to restart it in time, you’ll die.”

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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Hi, Adrien is handed things on a silver platter whereas Marinette has to work for them.

First thing’s first is just the concept of the love square. Chat Noir gets to interact with Ladybug no matter what because they’re heroes. Ladybug - who carries the weight and responsibility of heroism without getting benefited from it - is required to go to every battle due to her purification ability, and Chat Noir of course is going to show up because he loves both flirting with Ladybug and the freedom of being a superhero.

In addition, Adrien got his miraculous by helping Master Fu up (something that would be expected out of any semi-decent person; by the way, yes, I know the “””significance””” of the action, and it’s silly), whereas Marinette saved him from being hit by a car.

Adrien was allowed back in school with still no explanation from Gabriel (especially since he’s Hawk Moth) as to why he thought it was a good idea to send his son to a school where the very first akumatization had happened. It was Adrien’s goal for the episode alongside making friends, and Nino offered him friendship out of pity when Adrien sulked about how Chloe was the closest thing to a friend he had.

Chat crushes on Ladybug because she stood up to Hawk Moth in a speech dripping with confidence, caught what seemed like hundreds of akuma, and came up with a plan quick enough to save Mylene and Ivan from falling to their deaths from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Marinette (who Chat fell in love with one side of first, mind you, so already this is to his benefit), meanwhile, crushes on Adrien because the narrative gave her a falsehood about him never having any friends (i.e: no Chloe) and he gave her an umbrella while he was ten meters away from his actual ride (like with Fu, again, any decent person--).

Chat’s crush on Ladybug makes things harder for her because it causes him to throw tantrums mid-battle, get distracted and distract her because he’s busy flirting, all of which make her feel guilty for not returning his feelings. Marinette’s crush on Adrien makes things hard for her again because it causes her to embarrass herself while virtually everyone who knows teases/mocks her for it, their opinions of her even being dragged down due to the crush (see Alya with the Lila situation).

Chat is shipped with Ladybug by Parisians everywhere and Alya delighted in taking a picture of them kissing (that got posted on the Ladyblog without Ladybug’s consent). Likewise, the other LadyNoir kiss (that Ladybug had to do to free Chat from Dark Cupid’s control) was shown on live TV for all watching to see. Marinette’s kisses with Adrien, however, were either wiped from the timeline (in which Adrien got to keep a secret from her so he could date “””Ladybug”””) or used to humiliate her because Adrien was attempting a prank.

Ladybug realizes that Chat is in serious about her, not because he told her himself, but because he relayed it to Marinette who happened to be Ladybug. Marinette, on the other hand, has spent 3+ seasons attempting to confess her feelings to Adrien or make advances on him, all of which ended in some form of failure and some of which through no fault of her own.

Chloe shoved her in “Bubbler” (Adrien didn’t even check on her) and then Nathalie crushed the note she’d written on a scarf that Marinette put tons of time and effort into, leading to Adrien thinking it was from his dad.

“Copycat” was accidental and came on too strong, requiring its deletion.

She got distracted by Alya and forgot to write her name in “Dark Cupid,” her letter only further solidifying Chat’s crush on Ladybug.

She kept getting interrupted in “Gamer” after Alya chided her for using the event to get with Adrien (despite Alya doing the same thing for Marinette during the film in “Horrificator” while Mylene was MIA).

She wasn’t able to tell Adrien about Lila’s thievery in “Volpina” because the grimoire had to remain a secret.

The hat in “A Christmas Special” got given away within minutes and then not even brought back on-screen by Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien never even thanked Marinette personally for it).

Kagami came out of nowhere to take the fencing spot in “Riposte.”

Deciding not to make schemes only led to her embarrassment in “Gigantitan.”

She got made fun of and the notes all conveniently looked the same in “Backwarder,” leading to her mixing them up.

The macaron for Adrien (that Marinette would prepare every week) never got eaten by him and ended up causing the akuma after Chloe had emotionally manipulated Marinette into scheming with her.

Practicing on a statue (as per Tikki’s advice) in “The Puppeteer 2″ humiliated her when Adrien revealed himself as the statue.

She was embarrassed during the party in “Party Crasher” because she was pressured into dancing without her consent.

The timeline had to be reset in “Chat Blanc” and she had to lie to her friends that she hadn’t given Adrien the gift even though she’d actually succeeded, while the hat she made just for Adrien got written off as a gift from a random fan (which is an even worse fate than the scarf).

The confession in “Felix” was deleted by Felix himself before Adrien could see it.

And Adrien, meanwhile? Ohhhh boy, lemme tell you about Adrien.

He gets put into suggestive/close positions with Ladybug on many, many occasions, all for “free.”

He got a kiss from Ladybug in “Dark Cupid” that, remember, got photographed and put on live TV.

He got to goad the audience without consequence about he and Ladybug potentially being in a relationship eventually - gaining the knowledge that all of Paris was invested in LadyNoir to thoroughly stroke his ego - and then Ladybug had to act like they were a couple in “Prime Queen” to the point of holding Chat’s hand and saying that they were in love.

Likewise, “Glaciator” featured Ladybug having to act like a couple with him again, now to the point of kissing his cheek, and then Chat got a blush from her after he’d spent a good chunk of the akuma battle pouting that Ladybug didn’t come to the date he set up (that she hadn’t even known was a date because he purposefully withheld that information) despite her telling him that she’d have to see about it because she had plans.

He was reassured in “Anansi” on being “irreplaceable” after he made an unnecessary comment about being replaced by a turtle (Carapace).

He got to carry Ladybug around bridal style and also save her in “Sandboy” and “Reverser” respectively because she was rendered essentially useless without him, then got to save her again in “Frozer” after giving her the cold shoulder for rejecting his feelings.

He’s the one who got told by Marinette’s own parent not to apologize for how he feels in “Weredad” (note that Marinette herself never got this talk from Sabine, nor Tom, which very much could’ve prevented “Crocoduel”).

He got a cheek kiss from Ladybug in “Desperada” after getting to undo the very-much-against-the-rules identity reveal he made to her via Second Chance.

He got to look good in “Gamer 2.0″ when Ladybug was seeking advice from him despite the fact that her and Chat’s situations hero-wise are absolutely, completely, 100% different and he didn’t even try to take that into account.

He got Ladybug resting her head on his shoulder because of what she saw in a deleted time in which he - unbeknownst to her - lied by omission.

A fake Ladybug tried to kiss him on two separate occasions, “The Puppeteer 2″ and “Ladybug,” much to his delight (something to note is that the fake Adrien who went after Ladybug in both “Chameleon” and “Felix” tried to force themselves on her).

He got the “jealousy” moment from Ladybug in “Heart Hunter” and then a hug from Aquabug in “Miracle Queen.”

He received no repercussions for taking Ladybug out on a date (that she wasn’t aware was going to be a date) in “Gang of Secrets,” at best having to apologize for her behavior to the people around them.

He got reassured that Ladybug “couldn’t do this without him” in “Guiltrip,” even to the point of being told that she “probably doesn’t tell him enough.”

He got told by Ladybug that she would never abandon him in “Hack-San” because he was guilting her sulking about how his not knowing her identity would mean that he’d never see her again if she left him somehow.

And before you think this only extends to the romantic aspects of love square, let me tell you now that it definitely doesn’t.

Marinette entered the bowler hat competition and had to defend her own work to the judge.

She ran for class representative and had to earn the trust and faith of her class in “Darkblade” when put up against Chloe’s bribery.

She did whatever she could to make sure Juleka got her picture taken in “Reflekta.”

She had to actually craft a pair of glasses suitable for Jagged Stone in “Pixelator” and then make a gorgeous album cover for him in “Guitar Villain.” (note that this partially led to “Troublemaker” where she was just happily wanting to advertise her parents’ business, and the writers multiplied her Adrien pictures for the sake humiliating her when it was caught on live TV)

She had to work to get ungrounded by improving her attendance in “Simon Says,” because she had been busy being a hero.

She worked to try and get Nathaniel and Marc to get together on a project, knowing it would be good for both of them.

She set up an entire celebration for her bully to try and make said bully feel good about herself in “Malediktator.”

She did Kitty Section’s designs and costumes in “Silencer” and then had to go protect them from being stolen, along with her friends’ music.

She had to wear multiple miraculouses in “Kwamibuster” in order to go against Kwamibuster and get back both the ladybug earrings and the cat ring.

“Gamer 2.0.” Just... “Gamer 2.0.″

She made a whole complex lockbox to protect the Miracle Box in “Gang of Secrets.”

She worked to reach out to Zoe in “Sole Crusher” even after Zoe trashed her in front of the school, going as far as to try and comfort Zoe’s akumatized form.

She had to stand up for the movie to be fixed in “Queen Banana” because no one else would.

She has to work each and every akuma battle as Ladybug, figuring out Lucky Charms that can range from simple to complicated, while simultaneously dealing with a partner who relies heavily on her plans and will occasionally make things harder by either throwing tantrums mid-battle or distracting her.

And meanwhile...

Chat Noir got to throw the blame onto Ladybug for Theo’s akumatization in “Copycat.”

Marinette covered for him in “The Collector” when he was the one who recklessly lost the grimoire by not being careful with it.

He got handed Fu’s identity in “Syren” after whining to Ladybug, throwing blame on her and trying to bribe Plagg so they’d tell him, threatening to quit while Paris was underwater, and all of this while Marinette herself only got to meet Fu because she had the grimoire on her.

He was given the moral high ground in “Malediktator” despite not having to actually care about Chloe enough to call/check on her.

He got to sit back in “Chameleon” and not concern himself with judgment or comment on the situation with Lila, even going into “Ladybug” where he continues to inform no one about Lila (including Marinette, who briefly believed that Lila came to her senses and was willing to make amends) after Lila got Marinette expelled, despite the complete lack of risk on his part considering who his father is and how harshly Lila would be dragged through the mud if she dared to trash his reputation.

He clumsily trips in “Captain Hardrock” in a fashion that reveals an instrument he happens to play, leading to him getting invited to join Kitty Section within seconds of being on the Liberty. (so when Adrien is clumsy, it’s to his benefit, and when Marinette is clumsy, it’s to her detriment)

He never got called out for distracting Ladybug and digging for details that could relate to her identity in “Kwamibuster” (which, again, forced Marinette to do all the work to fix things).

He got a party thrown for him in “Party Crasher” by Nino, and also guys that Adrien had never put forth effort into interacting with or befriending (Marinette had also been through more with all of them sans Nino).

He got to force Ladybug’s favorite traits of his out of her in “Truth” because she was under the influence of Truth’s powers.

He got off the hook for sacrificing himself in “Lies” by flirting about Ladybug’s “irresistible angry little pout,” and also never got repercussions for flirting with another girl while dating Kagami.

He never had to face consequences for smashing a chimney in “Sentibubbler,” even as he was dismissing the gesture because he knew Miraculous Ladybug would fix it.

He didn’t have to apologize for his behavior in “Hack-San,” whereas Ladybug "had to” for telling someone else her identity (the details of why - i.e: that she was having a mental breakdown and needed a release from it - being completely left out) and not telling him that she was leaving (when she literally hadn’t had time to tell him anything; do note as well that Adrien didn’t have to do the same in either “Backwarder” or “Startrain”).

He received no consequences and was in fact rewarded for allowing the akuma in “Wishmaker” to hit him, a choice that Viperion has to live with because it caused him to see both Ladybug and Chat’s identities (meaning now Luka - someone who, like the guys in “Party Crasher” - Adrien has done virtually nothing for - can support Adrien since he knows).

And I could go on, I really could, but my point is that Adrien is given all of the sympathy and sad points while Marinette basically never is. Just like how he was born swimming in money, fame, and adoring fans, the show hands out praises and all the things he’s ever wanted because he’s sad.

He doesn’t have to try. He can whine and complain and vent to Plagg about how “replaceable” he is because the show will mollycoddle him to the moon and back. They’ll put his crush on Ladybug’s shoulders to make her feel guilty while Marinette is over here having to bust her butt just for a chance at Adrien recognizing any semblance of her feelings, and he goes on being blissfully ignorant of them so he doesn’t have to suffer like Ladybug does.

In addition, Marinette has to either be “““making mistakes”““ or embarrassing herself in order to get screen time because the burden of lessons fails upon her, whereas Adrien can be name-dropped without even doing anything.

It’s not just the love square that’s unbalanced, it’s everything between these two. Ladybug is scolded and punished for the slightest act of selfishness while Adrien is encouraged and rewarded for being selfish and demanding things. Marinette has to work to be noticed (and sometimes won’t even get that much) while all Adrien has to do is put on his best sad face and the show will bend over backwards to either give him exactly what he wants or make him the sympathetic one through the narrative.

Even if Adrien had known about Marinette’s crush at the time that Ladybug knew about Chat’s, it wouldn’t matter, because the tipped scales in how they’re treated would still make it so Marinette is the one at fault for “dumping her feelings onto Adrien” while Ladybug is still forced to interact with Chat even if his advances make her uncomfortable.

#((It's a good day to choose violence.))#category: salt #salt: adrien agreste #salt: chat noir #salt: love square #((I probably should've done this in video format.))

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legionofpotatoes · 3 years

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I love your art, it is very detailed in a neat way. Was wondering how you got started making it as a source of income? How did you get your first paid work, I'd love some advice on how to get started, if that's ok

Thank you. Of course it's okay, although I doubt I have enough work experience in art to really delve into this. I only went full freelance this year, and had been juggling art as a side hobby until then. If you're still interested in my somewhat narrow perspective, and are okay with my long-winded rambles, I'll give it a shot:

So to answer your question fully, I'll describe how I started and move into personal advice and learnings later on. As a disclaimer, I am a white cishet dude in my late twenties with a moderate cocktail of mental illnesses, but overall I can pass for a functioning adult so a lot I have to say may come laced with privilege I cannot fully identify.

So uhh I began drawing in around 2012? I think? Maybe halfway through 2011? And I mostly made fanart for things I enjoyed and tried to branch out in communities that felt nourishing to my style and interests (I caught a bug for alt posters and enjoyed mainstream movies so I spent a long time on posterspy early on). There were a handful of opportunities that came from there but I could only accept a couple because of primary workplace commitments. Still, it showed that networking in a focused community was definitely a good place to start; I myself have huge trouble committing to social networks and really staying socially active, but I knew it was an essential ingredient in succeeding so I tried to make myself be involved in challenges and art support trains etc. as much as I could.

In parallel to all that I also ran a few third party online stores (redbubble, teepublic) for disposable income and would sometimes, if rarely, hit around $100-150 a month from those sources combined. It is a sort of thing that requires helper accounts on other social media sites to promote it on, because the stores themselves have a huge volume of content that translates into low organic discoverability. Obviously it was never gonna be the way towards financial independence through art, and with community projects being few and far between, I opened private commissions in around uhhh 2017 I think, focusing on offering a few styles I knew I could do well, and sometimes operating in individual fandoms (it was mostly a bioware thing to be frank). But I had to close them back down after a year or so, again because of work-life conflict and how badly it was burning me out. The reason I kept trying to monetize this hobby is because I honestly hated what I did for my main job and wanted to see a way out in some shape or form in the future.

And then in 2020 I had to quit my main job altogether because of *gestures at pandemic* and deal with a mental breakdown from all the wonderful things it did to us and me specifically. I took a short break and decided to give art a shot full-time, and that was around May this year. I was planning on opening up commissions again (and I still am), but a few sudden opportunities that fell in my lap moved that timetable down and now I'm grateful to even be doing something I am getting adequately paid for.

So, with that somewhat limited perspective, here's what I've learned that I'd tell myself if I was just starting out:

1. Being a fan of something can be a shortcut towards effective networking kickoffs. Which are important evidently. If you love something and enjoy making content for it, join communities, settle into a combination of social media websites that feel right for those interests + your body of work + your inner rhythm, and try to play to content discovery as much as your mental health allows you to. Like I said, I know that I myself am incredibly bad at self-motivating to talk to people, so I found that synergizing common interests into fanart - which I enjoyed making anyway - could be a way to give myself a gentle nudge forward and build those bridges leading to community activities, which then net experience and coverage. Sometimes even freelance projects from official avenues. Again; picking the right spaces for what you're after is key. Companies roam twitter, concept art recruiters scour artstation or linkedin etc, instagram can land you private commissions and collab opportunities, so on and so forth. Find your niche and try to kick up dust. However...

2. I do not believe that any social profile can replace a good portfolio. The thing that made an immediate difference to me this year was building a coherent, simple website with my best work front and center and a contact form on top. Every single opportunity I got came from that form (maybe via twitter or instagram initially, but always sealing the decision after going through the website), so I firmly believe that showcasing your skills and portfolio in a visually arresting and user-friendly way is a big priority. I had some reservations about tackling that task but fortunately I had help from a savvy life partner and we slapped it together via wordpress in less than a day. Twitter/whatever social media is prevalent in your target groups is definitely important to get the right eyes on your shit, yes, but those eyes will then look for a second stop where your work and rates are more clear and concise. Simplicity is key imo, I cannot overstate this. So make a cute, simple portfolio!

3. Your skills and rates will grow and change as you do. Let them. Over the years I built several lasting professional relationships from my obsession over mass effect and kept getting opportunities both from bioware and their partner companies, some small and some a bit bigger. A one-off job earlier this year opened an unexpected door to another much larger commitment, and then the work I did there brought some attention from small businesses looking for commercial commissions. These were all incredibly different projects in terms of scope and budget, and I've been tackling them all on a case-by-case basis and slowly coming into my own irt my needs, rates, and SOW thresholds. It is still a work in progress (and a LOT of literal work as well), and very much a thing I struggle with in publicly marketing, which is why I felt a tad underqualified to answer your question in the first place (obviously I did not let that stop me). But what it means for me now is that I am rapidly developing into whatever my "version" of a functioning freelance artist is, and when the conditions for that guy are met, I need to be able to confidently plant myself and operate from that space despite past precedents. Do not let anyone bully you into downpricing what you yourself perceive as legitimate products of personal growth and development. Speaking of which...

4. The shitty challenge of turning envy into inspiration, and paddling outside your comfort zones in full riot gear. it is hard, but realizing that being a miserable, self-hating artist in my early days got me nothing but more misery back was the first real step I took and what truly blew the hinges off. I was just not pleasant to be around, I would badmouth my work all the time, and it all somehow made sense in my broken mind because the validation I sought was purely external and the way I sought it was through eliciting sympathy via self-victimization (even when I made something objectively nice). It all led fucking nowhere. Except perhaps to my own narcissism that I one day managed to identify and start managing. So I started looking at things that made me seethe with envy and calmly deconstruct and figure out their inner workings instead, do studies, and find nuggets of inspiration or discover new ways to approach rendering or building up specific elements. It was an application of analytical diligence to what I wanted to be a purely emotional, esoteric workflow, but that I deep down knew wasn't. Art is a discipline and a skill, and maybe it isn't a straight line, but you gotta find some line to thread nevertheless. Being self-hating was almost an identity I had to break out of, and despite it still being like, 4-5% there? I realize its cause and effect on me, my work, and those around me, so it is with a conscious choice that I gently set it aside when I work and especially when I learn. It won't always stay quiet, but the effort is the difference. Your doors towards accepting true growth and venturing into uncharted territories, art styles, and networking will really open from there. But there's a huge caveat...

5. Toolsets, accessibility, privilege, and all the good things that enable artistic expression and profitability are not given equal to all. you might do all the mental work I mentioned to be ready to rock and roll and learn and draw your way out of anything, but digital art is a fucking money pit that asks almost too much at times. I don't got a good case study here but identifying and ensuring accessibility to the tools you need to do your best work is, like, super important. The ergonomics can improve as you make money and settle into the job, but the basics have to be made available to you. And some of that might not even be under your direct control. That can be anything from pen tablets to software subscriptions to opportunities in hiring sullied by sexism or what have you. You gotta navigate all that through careful networking and money/time management. I don't do a good job of devoting specific slices of time to work/study, and my primary clutch is iPad software which went from a good deal to a nightmare scenario over the years. So all I can say here is do what I didn't; network, invest in a PC/tablet, and pick a software you'll learn that won't burn a hole in your pocket.

6. Be nice to work with? This one is hard to articulate and has landed my own ass in hot water in my early years because of how socially inept I am, but nothing is more worthwhile than being.. like. a good person to work with. That can be anything like meeting deadlines, or sometimes missing them but eloquently articulating why, being generous in early stages, being communicable and not too wordy in your emails, having a good grasp on abstract artistic concepts and how to describe them in simple terms, having a clear, laid out framework of your working rates in commercial and non-commercial projects and sticking to those guns with grace, understanding when you need to say no and saying it well, the works. Just being nice. Sometimes that might mean going headstrong with something you believe in, or simmering down and sucking up to the big man, all relative and adaptive. Part and parcel of the service provision dance that we all have to do in order to make bank. Know your lines here, obviously, and don't like. work for nazis. or uh.. *shudders* exposure. but be nice and empathetic and communicable and word will travel eventually. Skill may be in abundance these days, but good people are most certainly not, and capitalism has a way of bubbling up scarcity. Grim, but uh, them's the breaks.

I know I'm ultimately telling you to like. Have a body of work, make a portfolio, grow, and network. But that's really how I see it for now. And being nice can be a cherry on top that sets you apart, along with the inherent irreplaceable voice of your artwork. I think I rambled on enough, but if there is something specific you need my help with, even if you want to come off anon and talk in private, please feel free.

#anon #asks #long post #sorry I cant actually condense ideas better :(

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honestlyhappyharry · 3 years

Text

Chapter 10

The Storm

Chapter 9

Something on Tuesday morning felt off. Harry had stayed over again, much to your delight. He didn't want to overstep the boundary lines but everything was falling into place between the two of you, it was like you had gone back to your old relationship. Warm and cozy was all you could feel.

But that morning was cold. Harry's side of the bed was cold, at only 6:30. While he'd not stayed over much you still felt like it was out of character.

You tried to push it out of your head and got out of bed to pack Lily's lunch for Pre K before making her breakfast.

At the bottom of the stairs, you peeked into the lounge to see Harry hunched over on the couch, phone in hand. "Are you okay?" He popped his head up and just started, blankly.

He was a lot different from his usual morning clinginess when he wrapped himself around you, not letting you get up.

"Get out your phone," Harry told you, the tone of his voice made you do it quickly. His tone wasn't mad but upset or a little hurt. You quickly pulled out your phone from your pyjama shorts and waited for his instruction. "Go on Twitter." That sent your head racing, Twitter had always been a wild place of quick-spreading news and all you could think about was what was written about you and Harry.

Lily never crossed your mind.

Harry watched you for a few minutes while you looked through the stream of tweets. "Oh, shit." Finally, you snapped up to meet Harry's eyes again. "This is really, really bad."

"I know," Harry stated, patting the seat next to him so you sat down beside him. "It started with an article on the Daily Mail with a photo of me and Lily from last night, you know when I was carrying her to the car?" You nodded at that. "I didn't even realise anyone was there and I think it was posted after we went to bed. Then, like most things about me, it blew right up on Twitter this morning in the UK before it was morning over here. Pretty much the whole world was tweeting about it before we woke up."

"It would be good if your fans slept." You joked, trying to lighten the mood.

He chuckled a little. "It's the top trending hashtag. The press is going insane and management have flipped out. I'm not even sure what the fans are thinking, maybe mad or confused or even happy."

Harry dropped his head into his hands and left his phone on the couch beside him. It was still unlocked and you could see more tweets flooding in. If you spent the whole day reading the tweets that were already tweeted, you wouldn't finish reading them for the whole day.

Something like the was bound to happen, Lily looked exactly like Harry so it wasn't hard to put two and two together, but you thought you'd have a few more months. Especially last night because you hadn't seen anyone who even looked interested in who Harry was.

"I'm really sorry, Haz. I know that was not how you wanted it to come out and it's not how I wanted it to come out either." You told him as you wrapped your arms around him, desperately trying to console him.

"I have to do an interview on Wednesday, you know, trying to explain it all. Until then please promise me something." Harry informed you and you nodded, anything he wanted you would agree to. "Please don't look at Twitter until it's all sorted. Or Instagram." He told you and you nodded in agreement.

"Okay, but you're also on a ban." You told him, knowing people would be saying worse about you but you hardly wanted him to see all the bad things that were being said about him.

"I promise." He agreed, before getting up. "I should go, though, got lots of music stuff to do." He told you as he walked to the door, you followed and waited for him to put his shoes on.

"I'll miss you." You told him before he spun around. His hands were instantly on your waist, yours moving to his chest. He kissed your lips for a few seconds, giving you the same electric feeling you always get around him.

He smiled once he pulled away. "I'll miss you more, baby. And I'll call you later." He left you standing there, wondering how wrong it was all about to get.

You woke up on Wednesday, hoping that it was all a bad dream. The worry was almost as bad as Monday. It was made worse by the fact Harry wasn't there. However, the little voice jumping on your bed urged you to get up.

"Mummy, mummy, get up." Lily cheered as she jumped on your bed making you sigh. Sleep-ins were a rarity in your house but no matter what you were grateful to get up to the little girl.

Rolling over to face her you opened your arms so she could fall into them. You placed a kiss on her head and inhaled her smell, it was something you never wanted to forget.

"Are you excited to get your nails done?" You ask her and she nodded quickly. She had been talking about it since you told her what was happening.

"I'm getting pink, remember." She told you excitedly, it wasn't her favourite, yellow was but she was decided.

After breakfast and you both got changed, Lily was in the car with you as you drove to the nail salon. Your nerves were getting worse as you got closer but you arrived 7 minutes early, also 7 minutes before Harry's interview. Thankfully a radio interview limited the face to face contact Harry could have with an interviewer. However, it was live which meant no editing.

"Gem!" Lily said as she saw Gemma. You could tell from dinner that they had clicked. Lily loved listening to her tease Harry and their personalities were a lot alike.

"Lily!" Gemma replied as she picked her up and hugged her. They really looked a lot alike and the few baby photos you could remember of her as a child rendered them identical.

They hugged and you gave Anne a hug. "I'm so sorry about what happened with the press." She whispered and you smiled at the fact that after so much time she still cared enough to say something. It was an ode to how close Harry and Anne were.

"It sucks, but Harry's interview is in a few minutes so hopefully it'll get cleared up." You told her and she nodded. You doubted it would but a little social media cleanse was nice.

Soon after you hugged Gemma who only said, "It'll be alright," to which you nodded, knowing, in the end, it would be.

There was a little bit of resentment towards the press because you wanted to be able to tell the world on your terms.

The nail bar was nice, modern and sleek. Unlike Lily's bold neon pink, you went for a plain white which you figured looked best with summer outfits. Summer was a very exciting idea, having all that time to spend with Harry and Lily.

Once your nails were done Gemma and Anne insisted that you and Lily came with them to lunch, which you gratefully agreed to. It was an incredible feeling to be fitting back into their family after so long apart and you were thankful they were so accepting.

You could tell Anne was itching to talk to you, a more nervous silence falling over the atmosphere. As soon as you got to the restaurant and ordered Anne made Gemma take Lily to the park across the road to play. There was an odd mix of gratitude and fear you were feeling.

"Did you know the first night Harry told me that he had Lily, I was over at his place and I just started crying?" She started and you shook your head before she continued her story. "I was mad at him, so upset with the whole situation but I felt a lot of sympathy for you both. I wouldn't tell him this but you went through worse, raising her all alone which is why I was mad at Harry. I don't know all the details of your breakup but I feel for him when he was in that state." She continued while you nodded, out of all of her qualities she was so emotionally intelligent. "I wanted to talk to you, but he wouldn't let me."

"I know." You said, there was still the unresolved guilt you felt. Anne had an amazing granddaughter she hadn't met until a long time after your parents had met her. But thankfully Anne was much smarter than to be jealous. "I wish you guys had met her before now." She could tell it was the truth. "I even wish I stayed with Harry or went back to tell him or just anything that didn't lead to today."

Anne wasn't going to let you take the fall. "I've never blamed you for what you did. I still blame him for driving you away but I know how hard it was for him." It was nice to pour your heart out to someone who was so neutral despite hearing her son's grief for years.

"It's nice to have someone else to talk to about this." You smile over at her and she returns it.

"Mummy!" A small voice called and Lily came walking over, hand in hand with Gemma. They were both wearing the same famous Styles smirk.

"Hey, how was the park?" You asked her, just before your phone started ringing. Embarrassed, you pulled it out to put it on silent but your eyes glanced at the name.

Harry <3

You look around at everyone else. "It's Harry."

"Take it," Anne told you quickly. "It'll be important or he'd text." She definitely knew him very well. Gemma nodded, taking her seat next to Anne while Lily sat next to you and coloured her colouring book.

"Thanks." You smiled, answering the call as you walked away to somewhere quieter. "Hey." You spoke into the phone.

"Baby." Harry's low voice came over the phone, making a shiver come over your spine. "Did you hear my interview?" He's quick to ask.

By now you had pushed open the doors and you were standing outside. Thankfully the wind wasn't too cold on your skin. There was a little park bench near the restaurant where you sat, phone to your ear. "No, how did it go?"

"It was okay. They asked about Lils, obviously. How old she was, you know the general stuff." You could tell there was something off in his voice, something he wasn't telling you so you didn't reply until he spilt the beans. "Then there was some personal questions about what happened between me and you and why Lily was never known to anyone." He continued, getting quieter.

"Are you alright though?" Even if you didn't want to hear the answer, you had to ask.

"Yeah, I am. I think it's good the story has been set straight. It's going to be better now though and I'm excited to talk you all out without the paparazzi finding out." The air felt lighter, and if you could see yourself you'd see how much more relaxed you looked.

You nodded before realising he couldn't see you. "I mean they'll still probably going to write some terrible stories."

"Yes, and maybe don't go on social media or those celebrity gossip websites, my team is still saying they're still slamming me." His tone was an indicator he was hurt about it, which made you hurt because this whole situation was partly your fault.

"I'm sure they're slamming me too." You laugh, unreciprocated.

His pause was an acknowledgement of his agreement. "Don't want you to get upset, so please don't."

"I should go, we're having lunch." You tell him, thinking back to who you left inside.

"Yeah, how's it all going though?" He asked, still wanting to talk.

"It was really fun, we're had our nails done, we talked a bit and now we're at lunch."You tell him and you can almost see him nod.

"Ooo, anything about me?" He asked quickly, he seemed back to his normal self.

"Hmm, maybe. Is there anything else?" You asked him.

"Can I come over later? I don't really know how this works." He sighs, it made you giggle a little bit about his shyness.

You thought about it for a second before you replied. "I think it works like it used to when we didn't live together but we might as well have been." You confirmed, only imagining his smile.

"Right, so I come over, we have sex, go to sleep and then have some more sex." His crude comments made your eyes widen.

"Harry Edward Styles, I meant you can come over whenever you'd like but maybe I'll retract that." You smirked to yourself as you heard him sigh.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I should also go but don't forget who's name you'll be screaming tonight."

There was no point in trying to reprimand him now. "I'll see you later." You said as you ended the phone call. It made you feel warm inside, as cliché as it was, knowing you'd be the one he fell asleep next to made everything seem better.

You walked the few metres back into the restaurant and talk a seat down at the table. Quickly you realised how long you had been on the phone with Harry.

All Lily, Anne and Gemma looked up at you. "What happened?" Anne was quick to ask.

"He just wanted to talk to me about the I-N-T-E-R-V-I-E-W." You spelt out so Lily remained unaware of what was going on. Not that she seemed to be paying attention to what was going on, she was still colouring.

"Oh, did he say how it went?" Gemma pipped up. She was always curious, that was something you learnt when you dated Harry all those years ago and she was asking how everything was going. Not that you minded it.

You nodded. "He said it was good to get it all out but the media and fans are still in a bit of a frenzy so he's said no social media for me." You let out a sigh, being in mock frustration.

"He's very sweet when he's in love." Gemma didn't even realise the words she was saying until they came out, that was when your eyes widened.

"Gemma," Anne growled, stopping her from talking about how much Harry loved you with a disappointed head tilt. You found it hard to keep the thoughts from racing after that. Did Harry love you? Did you love him? Did his feeling from all those years come back? Had it been long enough?

You hoped the answer was 'yes' but your mind forced some rationalisation. When you first told Harry you loved him you had only been together for 2 months and you had almost been dating him for 3 now. Maybe it was more innocent now.

After what Gemma said, the conversation slowed down a bit but by the time lunch was over you were on top of the world. Everything finally felt like it had fallen into place.

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clonewarsarchives · 3 years

Text

Inside 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'

By: Gerri Miller (original article link on howstuffworks)

Sources

George Lucas interviewed August 4, 2008

Dave Filoni interviewed September 11, 2008

The sci-fi phenomenon that began more than 30 years ago with a movie about a galaxy long ago and far, far away has expanded exponentially ever since with sequels, prequels, books, games and animated spinoffs. Although the animated "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" movie, released this summer, has to date grossed a less than stellar $34 million, it was an offshoot of creator George Lucas' mission to create a TV series, and it served its purpose as a promotional tool for the weekly "Clone Wars" episodes that premiere on Cartoon Network Oct. 3, 2008.

Focused on the conflict briefly referred to in the original "Star Wars," the galactic civil war takes place in the period between "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" and "Episode III: Revenge of the Sith." The Clone Wars pit the Grand Army of the Republic led by the Jedi Knights against the Separatists and their Droid Army, led by Count Dooku, a Jedi turned Sith Lord aligned with the evil Darth Sidious. Many of the characters from the "Star Wars" universe are involved, including Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and young Anakin Skywalker, before he was tempted to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader.

"I was lamenting the fact that in 'Episode II,' I started the Clone Wars, and in 'Episode III,' I ended the Clone Wars, and I never actually got to do anything on the Clone Wars," says Lucas. "It's like skipping over World War II."

To remedy that omission, he tapped Dave Filoni, an animator (Nickelodeon's "Avatar: the Last Airbender" series) and passionate "Star Wars" fan, to bring "The Clone Wars" to TV.

Ensconced at Big Rock Ranch, near Lucas' Skywalker Ranch headquarters in Marin County, Cali., Filoni and his team of artists and computer animators are making 22 episodes in season one and have nearly two more seasons written.

"We're way ahead. We've been doing this ever since I finished 'Revenge of the Sith,'" says Lucas, who hopes to do at least 100 installments.

He and Filoni collaborate on everything from story to design to execution in translating the "Star Wars" universe for television. It's a daunting creative, technical and logistic task, as we'll explain in the following sections.

Building the Universe

How do you scale down an IMAX-size spectacle for television and still have it make an impact, especially on a small screen budget? That's just one of the problems Dave Filoni has to solve.

"'Star Wars' is very famous for the scale of it, and how convincing it looks. So when you're doing a weekly television series, you have to figure out how to do things on that level," he notes. "Sometimes it forces you to be creative and come up with solutions that are better than if you can shoot everything you want," he continues, preferring to consider budgetary constraints a creative incentive rather than a limitation. "The team here is challenged to come up with these giant battles. We haven't shied away from anything."

While he did some of the initial character design, subsequently, Filoni has spent most of his time supervising other artists and animators, who number around 70 in-house and another 80 or so at facilities in Singapore and Taipei.

"Everything is written here, and the story and design and editing are all done here. The animation and lighting are done overseas, and sometimes some modeling as well," he outlines.

"I meet with George to talk about the episodes and he hands out a lot of the storylines and main ideas for the stories. I'll draw while he's talking and show him the sketch," Filoni continues. "That way we communicate right off the bat about what something might look like."

At any given time, the director notes, episodes are in various stages of completion, "from designing to working on a final cut, or adding sound and color-correction. I have four episodic directors to help me, who each have an episode they're managing."

Rather than use computer animation to duplicate the live-action films' characters or continue in the very stylized vein of the 2004-2005 "Clone Wars" micro-series, "We kind of shot for the middle," says Filoni, who endeavored to blend a 2-D esthetic with 3-D technology.

"The 3-D model makers and riggers who worked on the prequels dealt with the height of realism to create convincing digital characters. I knew that we weren't going to be able to do that for the series. And we wanted it to be different than a live-action feature, to get away from photo-realism. It was a choice to simplify something in the character models, the same way we would do things in a 2-D show."

So how did Filoni stay true to the "Star Wars" legacy in this newest installment? Read on to find out.

Clone Style

Taking some inspiration from the earlier cartoon series, Filoni

approached the characters as a 2-D animator would, "but stylized the face a little more. If you look at Anakin, he has certain edges and lines in his face. I would draw an edge or a line that might be unnaturally straight or curved, and that would play into the lighting of it. I tried to sculpt in 3-D the way I would draw or sculpt an image in 2-D, with shadow and light. I wanted it to look like a painting -- you see a textured, hand-painted style on every character. I have texture artists who literally paint every single character right down to their eyeball, because I wanted that human touch on everything."

Advances in computer animation have allowed Filoni to accomplish much more than he would have been able to in traditional 2-D. "For eight years I worked just with a pencil. I never touched a computer. But working with George, we try to look at computers as an incredibly advanced pencil. The technical side helps the creative, artistic side," he says.

Battles filled with huge numbers of soldiers can be rendered faster than ever before, but they still have to be created, along with every other prop and character in an enormous universe. "'Star Wars' is so complex in that you're building a whole galaxy. We go to many different planets," Filoni reminds. "So every rock, tree, blade of grass, native vehicle -- every asset -- needs design. We had to create a whole bunch of assets for each episode, and the budget goes up for each element you have. Once you build it, you have it, but we can't go to a different planet and have the same chair there," he laughs. "On a schedule where we need those things right away, it's difficult to get it all built."

Since "The Clone Wars" is chronologically sandwiched between "Clone Wars" and "Revenge of the Sith," it has been a mandate for the creators to stay consistent with the mythology. "That's probably one of the trickiest things," admits Filoni. "We always have to keep in mind what the characters are thinking and feeling at the beginning of this and at the end. You have a lot of room to play with when you're in the middle, but you have to remember what people say in the third movie. With characters like Obi-Wan or Anakin or Padme, I have to pay very careful attention that it will hook up. And then there's the expanded universe of "Star Wars" novels and video games. I try to be aware of it all and work it in, because fans really appreciate it."

Filoni hopes to attract existing fans and create new ones, especially among the younger generation, but admits doing the latter may be easier. "One thing we have that's different from any movie that came before is we're an animated series. But there's an instant reaction to the word animation that it's for kids. How you get around that is with the stories you tell. We'll have our snow battles and we'll also have our lighter 'Return of the Jedi' moments. Some episodes lean older, some younger. But in the end it has a broad appeal," he believes.

The recent "Clone Wars" movie (out on DVD Nov. 11 ) served as a stand-alone prequel to introduce the characters at this point in time. In contrast, "The series has its small arcs and shows you the war from across a broad spectrum of episodes. It's not just Anakin Skywalker's story," Filoni underlines. "We can go left or right of that plot and deal with characters we have never seen. There's a lot of material. It's a three-year period in the history of the 'Star Wars' Universe, and there are so many stories to tell. The longer it goes, the more chance we get to tell fascinating stories in that galaxy."

Character Study

"The Clone Wars" shows a different side of some of the film franchise's most iconic characters. "In a series, you can do a whole episode about a character and learn more about what they were like, which makes what happens to them a lot more poignant," explains Filoni. "We know Yoda is powerful, but how does that power develop? How does he use it? We get to go into more detail that you just couldn't do in the live action films, because they're mainly focused on Anakin."

While few of the actors from the live action movies agreed to reprise their roles in voice over for "The Clone Wars," Anthony Daniels, the original C-3PO, is the exception. "One of the special moments for me was hearing Anthony on the telephone, discussing C-3PO with me and his experiences. That really helps us round out the characters," says the director, who enjoyed similar input from Rob Coleman, the animation supervisor who worked on Yoda on the prequels.

Of the new characters not seen in the live action series, there's the alluring but venomous Asajj Ventress, a disciple of Count Dooku. "She is, of course, a villain, and fits into the structure of the Sith," Filoni elaborates. "Darth Sidious -- Senator Palpatine -- is the main bad guy, and his apprentice is Count Dooku. Dooku is training Ventress in the Dark Side. She's getting more powerful. I wanted to make her intelligent, deceptive and also kind of sexual. She's kind of a forbidden fruit -- Jedi are not supposed to get involved with the more lustful aspects of life. She adds another dynamic to the series."

On the other side of the good/evil coin is newcomer Ahsoka Tano, Anakin's teenage padawan, or apprentice. "She's Anakin's student and helps us see him as more of a hero," says Filoni. "Once he gets over his initial reaction, he takes pride in her. He's unpredictable and the Jedi know that, but he has compassion and that is used against him and it later brings him to the Dark Side."

Ahsoka was created, says Lucas, "Because I needed to mature Anakin. The best way to get somebody to become responsible and mature is to have them become a parent or a teacher. You have to think about what you're doing and set an example. You look at your behavior and the way you do things much differently. The idea was to use her to make Anakin become more mature. We've made her a more extreme version of what Anakin was- - a little out there, independent, vital and full of life, but even more so. He gets a little dose of his own medicine."

"She's been a really fun character to develop," adds Filoni, who likes Ahsoka but admits that his character tastes tend to run a bit more obscure -- his favorite is Plo Koon, "a bizarre Jedi Master. It's been fun to develop him and show his personality beyond the fact that he's bizarre looking and carries a lightsaber."

Fan Fare

Just three years ago, Filoni dressed up as Plo Koon to see an opening night showing of "Revenge of the Sith," so it's not surprising that the 34-year-old fan is still pinching himself that he has this job. "It's a very creative atmosphere," he says of Big Rock Ranch, where the lakeside setting is "meant to inspire us artistically and definitely does. A lot of the people I work with grew up with 'Star Wars,' so we have a great time. It's hard, intense work, but George is very engaged in what we're doing. What more could you ask for? I have the guy who created the 'Star Wars' universe excited and interested in what we're doing. We couldn't be happier about that."

Asked why he thinks "Star Wars" remains a fan favorite today, three decades later, Lucas says diversification is the key. "We were always able to deal with different aspects of the story in various forms and I think that keeps it alive. It is a lot of fun and it's a universe that has been created to inspire young people to exercise their imagination and inspire them to be creative, and I think that always works."

"The original 'Star Wars' had broad appeal to everybody, and it holds up so well," adds Filoni. "I think there's a timelessness to it, even though Luke looks like a kid from the '70s with that haircut. Luke is a farmer boy and Han is a cowboy. Jedi Knights are like the samurai of Japan or the knights of Europe. Those archetypes work the globe over. It's a world phenomenon that speaks to everyone. There will always be a character you can relate to."

#interview #crew #George Lucas #Dave Filoni #the first part is useless read the stuff about design and characters under cut #highlights bit for own reference

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jebazzled · 3 years

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so you want to write in second person; person two, electric boogaloo

Hi there! As you know by now, I'm full of unsolicited writing advice. Today, we're going to talk about writing in second person - i.e., apps that talk about "you this, you that."

Second person apps are popular in advanced writing settings (more on beginner/intermediate/advanced rp here) and can be really fun to write. But in my observation, they're also sometimes poorly utilized, especially in transitioning from intermediate rp to advanced rp. (More on making that transition here!)

Simply put: second person is not valuable because it "feels literary." Second person writing is valuable because it can make emotions more vivid, and enable a closer read of a character than the same amount of third person prose.

Intermediate third person writing does not become advanced merely because the pronouns have switched from "he" to "they."

Let's do a case study!

Again: second person writing is not inherently literary. If you are trying to improve your writing, as mentioned in my first Level Up! tutorial, it is not a quick and easy process you can knock off your to do list with some fast pronoun changes. It is a gradual process driven by attention to character development, dialogue, and description.

Let's look at the same app three ways. As always, this app is one of my own, if for no other reason than that I always take my own advice, lmao.

Method One: Third Person, "Telly"

In my second Level Up! tutorial, I wrote at length about telly applications and the differences between intermediate and advanced writing. One of the most common comments I see on apps is, "this is kind of telly, isn't it?"

A lot of us know what I mean by this - it's writing that focuses less on emotion, description, and imagery (even useful imagery - I am not talking about purple prose ribs and teeth here) and more on "this happened, then that happened." For my character Audrey Cattermole, a section from a Method One intermediate app might look like this:

Audrey was born to Peter and Eve Cattermole in Manchester, with a twin sister, Laurel. Audrey and Laurel grew up listening to stories about World War II and the Manchester Blitz. While Peter Splinched himself trying to evacuate, Eve worked for British intelligence as a wireless operator in Occupied France. Audrey was intrigued with radio, code, and espionage, and used to play games as a child writing her own ciphers and playing with her own radio set. Laurel was less interested, which Audrey thought was disappointing.

Alright. This tells us something. But it's pretty bland. It moves through bulletpoints rather than telling a story. It's dry. It has no style.

Method Two: Second Person in Form, Third Person in Spirit

When you're making the transition from intermediate to advanced rp sites, it's always a good idea to take a look around the community and get a feel for how folks are writing. What does well here? What do you like, and hope to achieve in your own writing?

There isn't anything inherently intermediate about third person applications, just as there isn't anything inherently advanced about second person ones! But you're likely to see a fair number of second person apps on advanced sites, simply because writers there might be likely to experiment with form, style, and voice.

It might be tempting to "upcycle" an old, intermediate third person app by changing the pronouns. Voila! Second person writing! How very on-trend! Except...

You are born to Peter and Eve Cattermole in Manchester, with a twin sister, Laurel. You and Laurel grow up listening to stories about World War II and the Manchester Blitz. While Dad Splinched himself trying to evacuate, Mam worked for British intelligence as a wireless operator in Occupied France. You are intrigued with radio, code, and espionage, and play games as a child writing your own ciphers and playing with your own radio set. Laurel is less interested, which you find deeply disappointing.

...How is this functionally any different from Method One? How is it literally any different from Method One?

The switch to present tense verbs adds a sense of immediacy, I guess. But it still feels very low stakes, super dry, uninteresting, and removed. The benefit of second person writing is that good second person writing is grounded in the narrator's experience. And this reads like the narrator is separate and outside of the protagonist... because it is!

A good app takes revision to change from second to third person or vice versa. Changing the perspective of a piece should be a substantial enough change that it merits a holistic rewrite - not just verb and pronoun changes.

Method Three: Second Person, and You MEAN It

Second person is not valuable because it "feels literary." Second person writing shines when it is emotional, descriptive, vivid, and personal. Writing in second person - as an omniscient narrator speaking not to an imagined audience about a protagonist, but almost speaking to the narrator as a voice of God - might mean your app is much longer. It likely means you will have to rewrite an app entirely. And that's fine!

I have said it many times: I don't fucking care how much you hate writing apps; they are your writing sample and leave a lasting impression, and you need to write good ones.

Here's a section of Audrey's app, written with Method Three:

When the bombs came for Manchester, they saw no difference between Muggles and wix. They cratered the city and rendered her streets a moonscape. That’s why I stayed, Mam says. We were all in it together. I’m not as pure as your mum, Da says. I tried to Apparate out of the first drop and Splinched my leg off. I wasn’t about to save my sorry ass Flooing out, looking like a bleeding war hero. When the war came to Manchester, Mam faced it with a radio. Left her limping boyfriend to volunteer at the Air Force Auxiliary while she traipsed through Occupied France, sending messages back home through codes that changed as quick as she could keep up with them. Magic let her sneak her way out of close scrapes. The sheer luck of growing up with a French nanny before leaving her posh family for a rough boy born to a Squib let her fake her way into looking like she belonged: at bakeries, at post offices, in city offices. It sounds glamorous, the way Mam tells it, and even though she tells it to two grimy children sitting on cracked linoleum in a cramped tenement, you can feel the slick of the red lipstick, the rattle of the transmitter beneath her fingers, the heat of the Third Reich bearing down on her. And the Allied forces begging her to deliver France from her captors. Later, you think Laurel mostly cared about the lipstick. Tell it again, you beg. Show me. Mam isn’t about to work with real code but invents ciphers and hidden languages with you while she stirs porridge and does the washing. The radio you tinker with in the kitchen isn’t two feet long and doesn’t carry the weight of liberation in its transmitter. It feels important just the same.

This gives detail and description, emotion and sensation:

The physicality of bombed Manchester ("cratered the city and rendered her streets a moonscape")

The Cattermole family home after the war ("grimy children," "cracked linoleum," "crowded tenement")

"the slick of the red lipstick, the rattle of the transmitter"

"carry the weight of liberation in its transmitter"

If I were to write this in third person, I would probably focus more on physical description and not descriptions that rely on Audrey's perception or experience (e.g. the lipstick and the transmitter). It would still make sense, and it wouldn't be as bland as Method One or Two, which is well worth the effort.

Waste not, want not!

There's no sense throwing away your hard work completely: you can make use of a telly Method One or Two situation in a few ways!

Method One apps can make good TL;DR material for a shipper

Method Two apps can easily be converted to third person for TL;DR material for a shipper

Method One and Two can be helpful in figuring out the overall beats you want to hit in your character's app - marking these out into bulletpoints can help you organize your thoughts for your rewrite and decide what material is worth including.

I hope this is a helpful resource to you - good luck, and happy apping!

#rp guides #resources #writing resources #writing guides #rp writing #applications

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aiimaginesbts · 4 years

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All In My Head (M)

Yoongi x Reader (Yoongi’s POV)

**Part 2 to Command, but can be enjoyed on its own as well**

Genre: Smut, childhood friends to lovers AU

Warnings: Public foreplay, exhibitionist tendencies, a little dirty talk, jealous Yoongi

Word Count: 3,609 words

Disclaimer/Copyright

Your eyes were focused on the buildings whizzing past outside through the train windows, unaware of your boyfriend frowning as he looked at you. More specifically, at the line where your thigh and skirt met, revealing a bit of flesh above your knees.

Yoongi was not happy. Well, he wasn’t unhappy, per se, but there was definitely something bothering him. He knew what it was, but he was also aware that he was being irrational, so he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

He had known you almost all his life, since you were kids, but you had only become a couple a few weeks ago. Maybe that was why he felt so hesitant now. Yoongi knew how to treat you as his best friend. That was super easy. It came to him as naturally as breathing. Although most people think of him as brash and forthright in his opinions, you were the only person he could share his innermost thoughts and feelings with. You might not agree with him all the time. Hell, it had led you two into more arguments than he could count, but you would always make up within a day or two. Best-friend-you he was familiar with. That didn’t mean he knew how to handle you now. No, girlfriend-you was a new, different monster that he had no idea how to deal with.

People say that being in love with your best friend is a lucky thing. Or something. How did that song go again? Lucky I’m in love with my best friend… Yoongi didn’t feel so lucky now. Somehow the combination of the two – best friend and girlfriend – had turned into a daytime nightmare today. Because Yoongi knew practically everything there was to know about you. His brows furrowed at your legs. And he knew you very rarely wore skirts.

So the question that had bugged him since he first met up with you late that morning ran through his mind again; why is she wearing a skirt today? Unfortunately, only one answer came to his mind. You knew that he was going to bring you to lunch with his friends from college today. You must have wanted to flirt with them, right? Why else would you suddenly wear such feminine clothing? It was always jeans whenever you went out with him, even when you went on dates together.

He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised, after all. He had been in love with you for a while, but you had only seen him as your childhood pal all the way up to his confession. Through a bet, he had made you promise to follow his commands, and after abusing your agreement to lead you to a steamy situation, he had revealed that he’d fallen for you. There was no mistaking your surprise then; he was sure you hadn’t had an inkling before he said anything. Even though he was overjoyed when you’d said yes to being his girlfriend, it didn’t take much for doubt to consume him.

Did you agree to be his girlfriend because you were caught up in the heat of the moment? Worse still, was it because you were afraid to lose him as a friend if you’d said no? Was his irreplaceable friendship with you going in a downwards trajectory, undetected, heading for the inevitable doom because he told you how he felt about you? Maybe you just became his girlfriend out of pity, or because you’d felt guilty, or didn’t know how to refuse him. He felt like such a jerk.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm his panicked thoughts. Whatever you felt about him, you wouldn’t do something as cruel as attempting to seduce his friends right under his nose. As if finally noticing that Yoongi had been staring daggers at you, your eyes left the train doors you were leaning next to and turned to him. “Is there something wrong, Yoongi?”

“Why are you wearing a skirt?”

The abrupt question visibly unsettled you, and Yoongi felt like a heel. He didn’t mean to vocalise the question branding itself into his brain. It was that skirt. How could it not have attracted his friends, when it seduced the hell out of him? Memories of the lunch less than an hour ago came back to him, unbidden. His friends were definitely interested in you – especially since your appearance today was nothing like he’d described to his friends. Your style was usually comfortable and laid-back, but today even the normally unobservant Yoongi noticed that you wore makeup, and the skirt completed the pretty ensemble you wore. Not that he ever thought you weren’t pretty, but he’d always loved that your beauty was understated. Like something one needed to uncover to realise its true beauty. He wanted to be the only one who knew what a true gem you were.

That was definitely not the case now. His friends had all insisted how lucky he was to have you; that you were too pretty for him. Okay, to be fair, they said you were too nice for him too, but he wouldn’t put much stock in that. They’d only known you through what he’d told them about you, and a short lunch couldn’t have given them much of an insight into the amazing person he knew you were. But that comment about being beautiful? That he knew was genuine, and he was sure that the skirt played a part in the formation of their opinion, too. Hoseok was chatting up a storm with you. Yoongi had no doubt that his closest friend after you could charm you in no time. Then you would leave him for Hoseok.

“I just… wanted to make a good impression on your friends,” you answered in a small voice. “Do I look that bad?”

Yoongi wasn’t sure what answer he was expecting from you, but it wasn’t this. Trying to push the images of you wearing tinier and tinier skirts for Hoseok, Yoongi tried to focus on your answer. “Why would you need to do that?”

Huffing at having your question answered by another question, you explained, “You said your friends always made fun of you for not caring about anything other than your passion for music.” Your fingers ran across your skirt, then tugged at each other, showing Yoongi a level of nervousness that he’d never seen before. “If they saw my usual sloppy appearance, they might think that I’m one of those things you just chose on a whim because you didn’t care to think about it.”

God, why am I so stupid? Your answer made Yoongi feel awful. He had allowed his petty jealousy to run away with his idiotic thoughts, not noticing how anxious you were about meeting his friends. Instead, he made you feel more self-conscious than you already were. Thinking back, you were always asking him about them, especially after he’d invited you to come and join them today. You’d asked to see their picture, taking the time to memorise their names, wanting to know what they were like. It only made him suspect that you’d had an eye on one of them, but you just wanted to show them that he’d picked his girlfriend well. You’d wanted their approval. The realisation felt like an undeserved reward and a warranted punishment at the same time.

“You don’t need to do anything like that,” he started to say, but the doors on the other side of the coach had opened at the same time, and a flood of passengers rushed in. Half of his words were more of a grunt as he was pushed against you into the corner between the end of the row of seats and the door, and he wasn’t sure if you’d heard anything he’d said. He barely heard the soft oof that came out of you as you were squished between him and the hard corner.

After announcing that the doors would close, the train continued speedily on, unaware of the uncomfortable position you were in. Moving back a tiny step – which was the best he could manage in the now overcrowded coach – he looked at you with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” you told him glumly, refusing to meet his eyes. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen you sad, but it was harder now because you were his girlfriend. And he was the one who’d brought tears to your eyes – he could tell you were trying not to cry from the slight rise in your pitch. Your hands had grabbed handfuls of the offending piece of clothing, as if wishing you could take it off right there and then. The movement was revealing more and more of your delectable thighs to him – and if Yoongi had thought that his thoughts had gone haywire before, this sight was making him lose his mind altogether.

His large hands grabbed yours, pulling your skirt even further up until just a hair’s breadth away from showing your panties. “Just so you know, you look amazing,” he finally answered your earlier question. He wasn’t sure whether your gasp of surprise was due to his whispered words in your ear or his sudden, daring movement, but Yoongi decided that he didn’t care. Right hand cupping your sex through your underwear, he easily found your sensitive spot.

“Yoongi!” You hissed as loudly as you dared when his two fingers rubbed along your slit, showing no signs of stopping despite your location. “Are you crazy?”

“It’s all your fault,” he drawled in that maddening devil-may-care tone of voice he’d mastered so well. He knew it frustrated and confused you to no end, which was perfect in this case because he didn’t want you to know how much you’d affected him. “Making it so easy for me to touch you by wearing this.” You squealed when his left hand tugged at your skirt, afraid that he’d pull it right off on the train, and then bit your lower lip, even more afraid that you’d revealed yourself to the other passengers.

“Stop it, Yoongi.” Well aware that your protest was rendered weak by your heavy breathing, you still tried to put up a fight, for the sake of your mind if not for your body. The latter melted readily at Yoongi’s touch, completely oblivious to the fact that you were in public, squeezed like sardines by other people. “Someone might see us.”

“Is that why you got wet so quickly?” If you were in your right mind, you might have smacked him for teasing you. However, in the state you were in, the only thing you could think of was how right he was – it couldn’t have been two minutes and your thong was already a soggy mess in his hand. You wanted to whimper; it felt so very good, but at the same time you were desperate to deny it. “Relax. No one would notice.”

At that reassurance, you tried to look around, but your boyfriend had you literally trapped in the corner, and you could barely see anything over his height. Yoongi himself was only then checking his surroundings as well. He could barely turn in his spot, the coach was that packed, and he was jammed into that little corner right against you. Not that he was going to complain about that now. From what he could tell, the person behind him had her back to him, engaged in a conversation with her friends. Another guy standing next to him by the door had his earphones plugged in, engrossed with something on his phone screen. The most anyone could see of you were your legs, slightly spread apart by one of his – the rest of your body was almost completely covered by his own.

Having ensured that no one was watching him, Yoongi grew more eager to finish what he’d unthinkingly started. Deftly pushing your soaked underwear aside, he revelled in the silky, smooth feel of your sensitive slicked folds directly against his skin. No further objections were forthcoming from you. He could tell that you were trying to focus on keeping yourself from making any noise. For some reason that egged him on even more. He didn’t want to be discovered, but he also wanted to make you cry out helplessly – it felt like a challenge. He wanted everyone to know how good he made you feel.

At the same time, he was genuinely surprised at how wet you’d gotten so quickly. The train was only about to reach the next stop, but he was wet to his knuckles just by brushing against your pussy. He suppressed a groan. If you were in his room, he bet he’d be able to push his cock all the way inside you in a single thrust. His fingers hadn’t made it inside you yet, but it was obvious that you were ready. More than ready for him.

Yoongi had no idea what brought out the daredevil streak in him today, but after he shifted a little to get into a more comfortable position, he shoved two of his fingers into you without hesitation. Oh, you were definitely eager, regardless of your feeble protests. Your dripping pussy allowed him to bury himself to his knuckles, and your abundant juices were already making their way to his wrist. The sudden intrusion came as a surprise to you, he was sure, from the way you lurched forward. That, and the mewl you let out before you could stop yourself. You bit your lower lip hard, trying to squash any noises fighting to escape your throat as Yoongi finger fucks you at full speed from the get-go.

The desperate fists clenching as hard as they could on the front of his shirt mirrored the tight grip that your insides had on his fingers. Yoongi allowed himself a soft grunt under his breath. True, he hadn’t been with you for all that long as a couple, but he would never have guessed that you could get so wound up this fast. Even though you were doing an excellent job keeping your moans he knew had to be lodged in the narrow constrict of your throat, it was impossible for you to control your breathing. The heavy panting sounded just like a muted version of your whimpers, and he could easily imagine you letting yourself go completely, sobbing and calling for him as he pounded you into the bed.

While your reaction made him feel powerful, drunk on his control over you, it was also driving him mad. It wasn’t long before he had to adjust himself again to alleviate the strain against his pants. He would give anything to pull his cock out and just fuck you against the wall, but he knew he couldn’t. In fact, Yoongi was reminded to glance around the coach, making sure that his change in position hadn’t revealed to anyone what he was doing to his girlfriend.

The man almost adjacent to him was still absorbed in his phone, and Yoongi sent a silent thanks to whoever it was that created whatever content that had him so enraptured. The girls’ conversation behind him sounded like it had gotten more heated, if anything. Not that he was paying any attention to it before then. Your muffled cries were the only thing he wanted to hear, if he had any choice in the matter.

He started to turn his attention back to you, but something caught his eye – a young man standing in the middle between the two rows of seats, probably about his age, staring open mouthed right at your direction. Yoongi froze. He knew full well that what he was doing was extremely risky, but now that he was caught, he had no idea what to do. It felt like time had stopped; that, or everything was moving at a fraction of the normal speed. The eternity in his mind must have been merely a second or two, because in the time that the man’s friends called his name and he turned, you were only just looking up in curiosity at what made Yoongi stop.

At odds over how to proceed, Yoongi gave his fingers a sharp thrust upwards, effectively distracting you and buying him a tiny window to assess the situation. The man was nodding at something his friends were saying but wasn’t contributing anything to the conversation – which meant that he was not about to expose the two of you. In fact, he was completely distracted from frequently darting his eyes in your direction.

Convinced that he was not about to get into trouble, Yoongi resumed assaulting your pussy with renewed vigour. Already brought to a stage of almost complete abandon before, it wasn’t hard to get you close again. Yoongi shifted slightly to the right, exhilaration consuming him as he revealed you and let the man confirm what he was suspecting. The man was staring unabashedly at the display now, completely ignoring his friends, who were thankfully not noticing his lack of attention.

Never letting up on his rapid movements, Yoongi leaned closer to whisper in your ear, “Looks like we have an audience.” It took several moments for his words to sink in, but eventually you looked around in a panic at his warning. By following his gaze, you fell upon the target and promptly squealed in terror. You tried to tug your skirt down, but Yoongi was doing the exact opposite; yanking it up hard, as if not caring that your drenched thong, pushed aside by his fingers buried deep inside you, was practically visible to the stranger. “Now, now, don’t ruin the show for him.”

You wanted to spit out an angry retort to his arrogant teasing, but he didn’t give you a chance to. Not when he was curling his fingers as he moved rapidly in and out of you, scraping the sensitive spot within. Yoongi’s arm was tiring out from the physical exertion, his wrist was feeling the effects of being bent at the unnatural angle for so long, but he would rather die than stop now. In contrast to your outward distress at being watched, the realisation had made your pussy grip him even harder than before. “Fuck, you’re tighter than ever,” Yoongi groaned into your ear. “I had no idea you’re an exhibitionist.”

“I’m not.” Your short reply was raspy, higher pitched than normal and completely devoid of strength. Yoongi didn’t believe your denial for a second. However, he couldn’t believe how turned on he was, either. Perhaps it was that irrational, lingering jealousy he felt when you interacted with his friends that fuelled his desire to show someone how much you needed him. Not that a complete stranger leering as you gasped and held onto him desperately did anything at all. Yet it still felt unbelievably good. There was a sense of being needed, of being powerful and in control, and of being desired all at once, intoxicating him.

But he was aware that it had to end soon. Not only had your breathing become more laboured, the wet, squelching sounds from your flooding pussy was also gradually increasing in volume, to the point he was worried that it would be heard over the sound of the moving train and surrounding noises. He had never seen you this sexually excited, but that also meant that you couldn’t hold it in for long – at this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if the overwhelming pleasure made you forget where you were, and you started screaming his name.

Besides, Yoongi was dying to see your face when you fall apart. He could never tire of it. Seeing you lose your composure, the look of euphoria that was all because of him was something he could never get enough of. “Do you think he can see my fingers fucking your naughty pussy?” He angled his wrist to rub his palm against your clit as he thrusted furiously in and out of your sopping heat. The added stimulation pushed you over the edge almost immediately. Your legs trembled, then shook as you came more violently than ever before. You gaped up at him as you burst around him, your mind somehow remembering to remain silent. Normally, Yoongi would’ve devoured your mouth in a soul-sucking kiss, but gazing at your eyes made glassy by your tears and ecstasy, your parted lips quivering in a silent scream as your hips grinded against his hand was pretty gratifying in and of itself.

As you came down from your high, you slumped against your corner, completely spent. And not a moment too soon – the next stop was your stop. Besides, Yoongi felt some petty satisfaction in making you walk in your weakened state. Call it an undeserved revenge for making him irritably possessive and insecure all day. He had to pull you to get you to move through the open doors onto the station platform – it was obvious you were not in a condition to walk anywhere – but he wrapped a firm arm around your waist, both to keep you moving and to support you.

Just as the last of the passengers disembarked the train, Yoongi glanced inside. In the heat of the moment, he’d forgotten about the lone spectator. He was still inside, his eyes darkened with lust as they followed you told Yoongi that he’d given the man a good show. Smirking, he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking your essence while peering smugly at his audience, before linking them between yours as he led you through the throng.

#armiesnet #hyunglinenetwork #networkbangtan #ksmutclub #bts smut #yoongi smut #bts fanfic #yoongi fanfic

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unexpectedreylo · 4 years

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Here It Is: My Spoilerific Review/Post Mortem of TROS

When I saw The Last Jedi two years ago, the movie haunted me for days, for weeks, for months. It inspired the imagination, dragging me into the world of Reylo and reassuring whatever reservations I had about the post-Lucas sequel trilogy.

The Rise of Skywalker haunts me too but more in a “Demon House” kind of way. It fires up the imagination, but more in the sense that it keeps you up at night thinking of all of the ways it could’ve been better.

This isn’t to say I hate the movie. I don’t. It’s not even entirely or mostly bad which is what makes it extra frustrating. You can laugh your way through a total disaster like “Cats” or “The Room” but a movie with plenty of promise and of talent behind it that makes some bad decisions is tragic. Especially since this is the closing chapter to a trilogy and the saga itself.

You can see there are bones for what could’ve been a really good, maybe even great movie. One of my favorite parts was the opener where Kylo Ren literally descends into hell/the underworld to confront the devil for no other reason than he didn’t even want Satan above him, a man who serves no gods or devils. (That right there is a classic Byronic hero.) Exogol is a great haunted house/spooky setting. The revelation that it was Palpatine manipulating him all along was a shocker and makes Ben’s story that much more poignant. I also really liked the contrast with Rey’s introduction, a beautiful shot of her in the verdant forest floating among rocks as she’s meditating. She is Persephone in her element (which makes the ending all that more baffling but don’t worry, I’m getting to that).

This sets the stage for the revelation that the two are part of an intriguing concept, a Force dyad, kind of a Star Wars version of soulmates maybe even twin flames. The two just had to acknowledge the feelings between them, reunite, and take out the Sith trash while Rey finally confronts her own dark side. I don’t mind the latter concept at all because with the trilogy’s thickest plot armor, I think it’s valuable to put her in some peril and to have her better understand Kylo/Ben.

Abrams also wanted to recapture the feel of 1980s blockbusters like the Indiana Jones films or The Goonies, both made by his old mentor Steven Spielberg. That’s most palpable when the Space Scoops Troop, er “trio,” falls into quicksand and pokes around an underground cave looking for one of the film’s many MacGuffins. Abrams does good set pieces and powers them along with snappy dialogue. Like TFA, it’s peppered with some genuinely funny scenes.

If nothing else, you can’t blame the cast for any of the film’s problems. Everyone does the best they can with what they’re given and the long-standing chemistry between various pairs (Adam and Daisy, John and Oscar, Adam and Harrison Ford for example) do a lot to serve their scenes. I think Oscar’s best scene was when he confesses to Leia lying in state that he doesn’t know if he can be the leader the Resistance needs. It’s an honest, human moment. Daisy continues to infuse Rey with her natural luminance. I particularly liked the few quiet moments she has, such as meeting the children on Pasaana or healing the snake. It shows her compassion and foreshadows healing Ben.

Daisy does pretty well with what she is given about struggling with her dark side. (Remember, she didn’t write her own screenplay.) Maybe it’s unpopular to say this but I kind of liked her brief turn as “Dark Rey.” I have no doubt had she turned dark she would be pretty scary. Her desire for revenge and fear of her own nature--driven by genetics or not--were intriguing concepts and I thought she tried to make the most of it in her performance.

Ah Adam Driver. God bless that man. He brings his considerable A-game 100% of the time no matter what and it shows. He could sell sand on Tatooine. I have no idea why they put the mask back on him other than a marketing department decision as I suspected, but taking it off when he’s making his appeal to Rey before she leaps out to the Falcon carries a gravity few people can pull off. His reconciliation with Han was one of the film’s highlights. For once the repetitive nature of the script actually worked in TROS’s favor, as Kylo retraces his steps in that fateful scene from TFA and finds a way to clear his conscience. I also think this was originally meant to help the audience forgive him, especially since right after this he renounces the dark side. Which makes later choices baffling, which I’ll get to. Driver’s shiniest shining moment though is when he is once again Ben Solo. Deprived of dialogue for the rest of the film other than “ow,” he nevertheless manages to convey a different personality that is very much Han Solo’s son. His fight scene is right out of a 1970s martial arts movie, imbued with determination and sass. I want to see a trilogy about THAT guy.

The Reylo scenes are, well, until it goes south, wonderful. Some of us would’ve preferred a lot less fighting but I see it as mostly Rey trying to deny herself and Kylo not being sure if he really wants Rey to turn to the dark side. (On that note, I wish we’d seen Rey’s vision of sharing a throne with Kylo rather than just hear her talk about it.) As I predicted, the turning point of the relationship came after the lightsaber battle on the Death Star wreckage. I find it interesting that Kylo hesitates to kill Rey--partially because of his mother’s influence--and it’s she who could’ve killed him. She immediately recognizes the dark side was turning her into something she didn’t want to be and nearly costs her the man that deep down she loves. She heals him completely and along with her confession that she would’ve taken Ben’s hand, his soul is nearly healed by the power of love alone. Which makes the film’s later choices baffling. If you think about it, Ben’s turn is even more dramatic than Vader’s. Vader chose his son over the Emperor at the last minute, some inkling of his light still there shining through at the right moment under duress. Ben flat out rejects the dark side of his own volition. That is pretty powerful. Which makes the ending far more painful.

Rey and Ben’s one big romantic moment was tender and sweet and that was a pretty good kiss. We finally get to see Ben’s big toothy grin. Even though we all hate it, Driver did an amazing job conveying first his sorrow over Rey, then his relief, his joy, his love, and finally his strength leaving him.

Visually, the film looks great. I think J.J. did an even better job shooting this film than TFA. Adding to the visuals is the fabulous art direction. They hired supervising art director Paul Inglis immediately after his previous flick Blade Runner 2049 came out, and that decision paid off. This leaves the film with a number of beautifully-rendered scenes, whether it’s the haunted house scary underworld beneath Exogol, Kylo Ren’s starkly white quarters, the landscapes of Pasaana, the stormy seas around the Death Star II’s wreckage, the shot of Rey hesitating in the Star Destroyer’s hangar before leaping out to the Falcon, or Rey meditating among the floating rocks during her introduction.

I liked D-O and Babu Frick. I even liked the lady who complimented Kylo’s helmet.

Where do I start having problems? The first time I saw the movie the scenes with Leia didn’t bother me but the second time I saw it, it was far more apparent they wrote around the bits of footage they had left. It was a valiant effort to make Carrie Fisher part of the last film she never had the chance to perform in but it didn’t feel organic. Since Leia dies during the movie anyway, I don’t know why having her pass away offscreen in between TLJ and TROS is less merciful to the audience than having her body lie beneath a sheet for half the film. No wonder Billie Lourd skipped the premiere of this flick. I couldn’t take it if it were my mother either.

On my second viewing, the Resistance base scenes started to get on my nerves. Maybe it’s because I got tired of looking at the same group of like 10 people over and over. Maybe I was annoyed that the only purpose of those scenes was to earnestly spout exposition. Now, exposition is important. I’m surprised Abrams, notorious for not bothering with it even if it’s necessary, even did this much. But there was something about George Lucas’s Rebel base scenes that made these people look and act like guerrilla soldiers. Maybe it was Lucas’s experience shooting films with Navy guys as a student, or his documentary style. Abrams’s Resistance behave more like college students and activists than soldiers.

But TROS’s biggest problems lie in its breakneck pacing and its writing. Parts that should’ve had greater emotional resonance don’t because it moves along too fast. I would’ve sacrificed one of the set pieces/action scenes or chuck one of the pointless new characters for the sake of deepening the relationship between Kylo and Rey or showing us more Ben Solo.

Some of the characterizations seemed off. I know a lot of fans are deeply unhappy Rose Tico didn’t get to do much but I was surprised to see her in it even to the degree she was there. What gets me about the whole Rose thing was her relationship with Finn is totally forgotten FOR NO REASON. Really, why drop it? There was no narrative purpose for doing so!

General Hux is totally wasted in this film, reduced to little more than a cameo. Sure it might be a surprising twist that “I am the spy!!!” (LOL) but his reasons for it are totally OOC. He might despise Kylo Ren but to the point of helping the Resistance? This is the guy who cheerfully blew up the Hosnian Prime system and wanted to blow up more. He’s evil, a psychopath, a true believer in the First Order. He might give the Resistance a tip that would result in embarrassing Kylo Rey and use that to start a coup against him but just helping the Resistance out of petulance and spite? Nah.

Poe tries in this film to be a combination of rogue and deadly earnest idealist, but you generally don’t find those two qualities in the same person. One second he’s talking about smuggling space dope, the next second he’s saying stuff like “Good people will fight if we lead them!”

Finn, God love him, is reduced to largely running around yelling, “Reeeey!” and eagerly trying to tell Rey something but the film never really got around to what it was. It wasn’t until a Q&A session that Abrams revealed Finn was trying to tell Rey he was Force sensitive (something that should’ve been developed over the course of the trilogy). Abrams had time to show us a random lesbian kiss for representation points, but no time for Finn to tell Rey he was Force sensitive? Huh?

The story not only contradicts the previous films--I wonder if Abrams even saw his own movie TFA much less anything else besides the OT--it contradicts itself throughout. Palpatine’s return is never really explained and his motives with Rey keep changing. MacGuffins are added on top of MacGuffins with side missions thrown in. Chewbacca is blown up then he’s miraculously alive on another transport we didn’t see. Abrams and Chris Terrio didn’t just add to Rey’s origins, they blatantly spackled over it and TLJ’s overall message. Discovering one is of evil origins is a gothic storytelling trope but really, it should’ve been developed since the first film so it doesn’t feel like whiplash from something else. Everyone keeps telling Rey don’t be afraid of who you really are, but Rey ultimately does nothing but run from who she really is. With each reversal, retcon, or contradiction in the film, it leaves a mess. We’re supposed to believe Rey was better off sold to Unkar Plutt than be with her not-so-bad parents? Who the bloody hell had sex with Darth Sidious? You mean to tell me Luke and Leia knew all along Rey was a Palpatine but they never bothered to say anything and somehow they had more confidence in her than in their own flesh and blood? Oh while we’re at it, I noticed the second time I saw the movie they straight up gave away Ben’s death before it happened! WTF? “Leia saw her son’s death at the end of her Jedi path.” It seems like Luke and Leia were resigned to Ben’s fate as some horrible destiny that couldn’t be changed but Rey was still an open book to them. That’s so stupid and really fellow OT fans, how does this respect our childhood faves? Han comes off as the only decent person in this thing.

Rey and Ben taking on the Emperor was a great applause moment, the dyad unified against the ultimate evil. For the most part it was fantastic...until The Yeetening. Two things annoy me about the remainder of the conflict against Palpatine. One, Rey and Ben should have destroyed Palpatine together. If Rey could do it on her own then what the hell did she need Ben for? He could’ve sat out the rest of the movie at Starbucks and remained alive while Rey killed Palps on her own. There’s no point to their combined power because it wasn't necessary. Two, while poor redeemed I-turned-back-to-the-light Ben was crawling up the pit with no help from anyone, every good guy we ever knew of in Star Wars, even from the cartoons, is giving a voice over pep talk to Rey. (It seems cheap too since we don’t see the characters. Avengers Endgame did this kind of thing far better.) How about if the pep talk was given to the BOTH of them? That Anakin Skywalker, the man Ben had idolized, had time to say “wakey-wakey” to his tormentor’s granddaughter and not his own grandson is appalling. The third thing is while Darth Vader defeated Palpatine with the love for his son and his long-gone wife, Rey defeats Palpatine simply with power. Rey and Ben’s love for each other could’ve been the force that defeats the Sith once and for all but for some reason it doesn’t occur to Abrams and Terrio.

I could’ve forgiven most of this--the jar of Snickles and all--had they got the resolution right. But they didn’t.

ROTJ and ROTS’s endings were masterful. ROTJ gives you an idea of what trajectory our heroes were likely to follow: Han and Leia were going to end up together, Luke was going to bring forth the next generation of Jedi. ROTS sets up Obi-Wan on Tatooine, Yoda on Dagobah, Leia on Alderaan, Luke on Tatooine, Darth Vader on a Star Destroyer, and poor Padmé on her way to Star Wars Heaven. I have no idea what happens to Finn. Maybe he’ll train with Rey. Maybe he’ll go to college. Maybe he’ll backpack through Europe. I have no idea. His story just stops. Same deal with Poe. Aside from getting shot down by Zorii, what’s he going to do? The film gives zero indication. It goes from the Free Hugs session to Rey squatting at the old Lars homestead.

The biggest crimes though occur to Ben and Rey. Ben’s death sucked all of the air out of the film. Yes, it’s beautiful that Ben loved Rey so much and so selflessly he was willing to surrender his life for hers. It’s beautiful that it never mattered to Ben who Rey was, whether it was “nobody” in the last movie or the granddaughter of his tormentor/enemy in this one. Had the Palpatine concept been there all along, there would’ve been something sweet about healing the rift originating in the prequels. But I wanted Ben to live. I wanted for once for someone to address the issue of atonement but Terrio and Abrams were too lazy to bother. If The Grinch could be redeemed AND find atonement with those he wronged in a 30 minute Christmas special with commercials, then why not Ben Solo in a 150-minute movie?

I could have lived with a sacrifice arc though had it been handled correctly. But they flubbed it big time. The sacrifice isn’t honored at all. He just dies, he vanishes as Leia’s body vanishes, and he’s “never to be seen again.” Or mentioned. Rey barely reacts on camera. It’s as though reviving Ben from certain death, choosing good over evil, making a valiant attempt to save his girlfriend armed only with a blaster, and giving his life for hers weren’t valued by anyone. The movie didn’t give a damn. When Vader died in ROTJ, he at least had final words with Luke who then burns Vader’s remains on a pyre. We see Anakin restored to his true self join the Force Ghost crew at the end of the movie. We got none of this with Ben.

It’s also the most frustrating and disappointing disruption of a romantic arc since 1980′s “Somewhere In Time.” In that film, Christopher Reeve travels back to 1912 and finds true love with Jane Seymour. Everything is going great and Reeve’s character has made the choice to stay in that time and marry Seymour. Then he pulls out a 1979 penny and is sent “back to the future” as Seymour screams. At least that film though had the decency to reunite the love birds in the afterlife. Which might explain why the movie still has a cult following to this day. Tragic love stories always make sure there’s some kind of catharsis for the audience. Rose takes Jack’s name, lives her life as he asked her to do for him, tells his story, and reunites with him when she dies. Romeo and Juliet are united in death and the healing of their respective houses begins. Even Padmé got a state funeral and had the legacy of her children. There was no such catharsis for Rey and Ben.

Rey ends up right where she started: alone and in the desert. She got the Dorothy ending, there’s no place like home. But the difference is Dorothy is a child not yet ready for the big scary world and the answers to her problems weren’t out there but right where she was. Rey is a grown woman. She should’ve been treated like one. Instead she is deprived of her lover/soulmate and while such a separation should have been painful, it doesn’t even register. She has a “found family” but they’re not there with her. She’s in a home others tried to escape from, haunted by ghosts instead of being among those she loves. Taking the Skywalker name seems tacked on, as though they realized if the name is to live on somebody needed to take it. Why not then just have made her Han and Leia’s or Luke’s daughter in the first place? It’s worse when you remember it’s a Palpatine who’s usurping the name. Or when you realize she’s still hiding who she is.

Here’s what would’ve been better. Rey tells the Resistance about the pure selflessness of the Skywalkers and she wants that to be the core value of the new Jedi going forward, where every new student was going to learn their story. Then we see her anywhere but Tatooine, happy and surrounded by students of all ages. Maybe Finn training too. She sees the approving Force ghosts of Leia, Luke, and Anakin. Then Ben, clearly a different entity, materializes beside her.

Or something, anything other than what we got.

It’s as though they kept making story decisions without giving any thought at all to their implications. They tried to do too much while being lazy about it. They went for expedience--copy pasting ROTJ when convenient--over meaning.

The ending accomplishes what no other Star Wars film has done to me in 42 years of being a fan...it broke my heart and fulfilled my worst suspicions about where the ST was going to end up, largely due to its deflating ending and terrible denouement. It leaves for me and many other fans a big gaping open wound, not closure.

Ultimately the sequel trilogy’s biggest flaw is that there clearly was no plan. What we got was a billion dollar game of exquisite cadaver with no real design for characters, their arcs, the story, or even what message these films are supposed to have. Every decision was based on the director’s own ideas along with corporate meddling. So we get conflicting ideas and blatant spackling over what the last director didn’t like. Was Kylo Ren meant to be a guy we love to hate or a lost boy we want to come home? Was Rey a heroine we can all aspire to be or a lost princess of darkness? What the hell was the point of Finn or Poe? What does this add to the saga overall aside from more stuff? Who are these films even for, old OT fans or young fans? I believe it’s this lack of a plan that has generated so much confusion and bitter internet wars among fandom.

#reylo #tros review #spoilers #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #ben solo deserved better #rey deserved better #we all deserved better

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ranger-report · 4 years

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Thoughts On: HEXEN II

After developing two fantastic games utilizing the id tech 1 engine -- also known as the DOOM engine -- Raven Software found themselves once again at the forefront of technological advancement when their neighbors id Software released a little game called Quake. Using a brand new, fully 3D rendered engine, Quake revolutionized first person shooters and PC gaming graphics. After the successes of Heretic and Hexen, Raven was deep in the throes of developing a third game in their dark fantasy series, this one titled Hecatomb. Sadly, this game never came to pass, as John Romero (who’d had heavily helped develop the previous two games) left id Software to found his own company, abandoning Hecatomb in the process. At this point, Activision Publishing acquired Raven and the rights to distribute future games they developed. Activision told Raven that they wanted to see the Heretic and Hexen games split into two separate franchises as both games were different in gameplay styles. So rather than a final third game to wrap up a trilogy, ideas from Hecatomb were then split between Hexen II and Heretic II. While this yielded mixed results, we’ll look first at Hexen II, a game that was highly anticipated upon release, and whose legacy is an uneven yield.

The story this time around is that the third and final Serpent Rider, Eidolon, has taken over the word of Thyrion. Separated into four lands, Thyrion is infested with Eidolon’s minions, and it’s up to one of four warriors to take him down: the Crusader, Assassin, Necromancer, and Paladin. What’s neat about this premise is that each of the warriors comes from one of the four lands -- Blackmarsh, Mazaera, Thysis, and Septimus, respectively. And each land has a different cultural theme -- Medieval European, Mesoamerican, Ancient Egyptian, and Greco-Roman, also respectively. Also very interesting about this setup is that each land is being ruled by one of the Four Fucking Horsemen of the Apocalypse -- Famine, Death, Pestilence, and War also also respectively. Off the jump there is a lot going on here, a lot more detail than the previous two games about the worlds and what is happening. This works to the game’s credit in attempting to set up a distinct world for this entry in the game series, but somehow, it falls a little flat. In previous games the player encounters a variety of monsters and enemies that all carry over from hub to hub, level to level, giving the player a chance to learn their attacks and be aware of how to defend themselves. There’s also overarching aesthetics that maintain a steady, immersive feel to the worlds presented. Hexen II’s decision to split the hubs into unique lands works against it, as each land as its own unique enemies and aesthetic and architecture. Just as the player has a chance to get used to enemy tactics and tricks (thanks to some stellar AI work), those strategies are abandoned as the next world is loaded up with new enemies and new look, throwing the player off and breaking the immersion. As much as I tried to get into it, what it ends up feeling like is the standard issue Water World, Fire World, Sand World, etc of old NES platformers. This is not to say that the worlds aren’t good looking, however -- Raven modified the shit out of id tech 2′s textures and polygonal aspects, crafting a still-gorgeous game which takes full advantage of the technology.

Progression here is also slightly different from the previous Hexen, but is a very welcome course change. Each character class has different skills and abilities, and as you play through the game, you’ll gain experience and level up. Returning from the previous game are the fact that each class has their own four weapons, using 1) no mana ammo 2) blue mana 3) green mana and 4) both mana. As usual, the fourth weapons need to be assembled from pieces in order to be used, but what overpowered destruction they bring. My favorite class is Crusader, whose skills and weapons focus on defensive measures, but his ultimate weapon is the Light bringer. It fires a steady stream of what can basically be called pure light, burning through any enemy in a matter of seconds, and the drain on Mana is negligible. It’s possible to reach the max level of 12 through the game, and each character receives a new passive ability at levels 3 and 6. It’s always nice to notice that you’ve gained a level during the adventure, but it usually happens well after the fact. I had a difficult time hearing the audio cue to let me know that I’d leveled up and now had extra health, or new ability. I had to go into the revamped inventory screen, which now shows key quest items as well as the current items in your pocket.

In fact, Hexen II’s biggest immediate suffering is that there seems to be a lack of feedback. There’s little in the way of gratifying sound or feel whenever your attacks land, which is doubly frustrating when most attacks are ranged and as far away from the very deadly monsters. Up close and personal melee attacks seem to have a weird range, sometimes being able to hit at different distances, but it’s hard to know exactly how and when that’s going to happen. The inventory system is fine, objects work they way they’re supposed to. Most of the problems come from the early usage of id tech 2. Quake is not a game designed around interactivity, despite Hexen II being the exact opposite. id tech 2 takes away the Action button, so you walk into panels or switches to operate them, no button mashing required. There’s also no minimap, so navigating become a trying issue. But projectiles in this game don’t seem to have an impact; there’s no oomph to it, similarly to Quake’s monster who rarely stagger when hit. This is a problem because multiple times will occur when you’re firing rapidly at damage-sponge enemies, wondering if you’ve hit them enough to count, counting each shot, watching your steadily diminishing mana fall away, waiting hoping praying that this isn’t another time where you’re going to be forced to use the melee weapon, and then they are suddenly dead and you didn’t know they were close to death. It’s not as frustrating in the early levels, where you’re Level 1 and Everything Hurts and Everything Takes A Lot To Kill. But by Level 9, there are bigger, badder, more horrifying enemies who soak up so much damage that it feels like a Thoroughly Epic Duel every single time. This, perhaps, is meant to make up for the fact that -- unlike Hexen which sent waves of hordes of squads of monsters at the player at once -- Hexen II lobbies much fewer enemies at a time. In fact, I’m hard pressed to remember any time I fought more than five at a time, and even that is a generous number. But since each of the enemies are so much more resilient, anything more than three becomes an exercise in dodging and weaving and running for cover in order to get in a few shots and quaff a drink from a healing elixir, because these fuckers hit, hit hard, and hurt harder. Especially the Four Horsemen, who are so intense and difficult that I was convinced for a moment that the game was building up to a boss run near the end that would have been insurmountable. Fortunately, thank fuck, there wasn’t. And yet, while the increased difficulty of the enemies comes with the bonus of impressive AI (most notable in the Were-Jaguar warriors, who leap and roll and attack like real human opponents), it also comes with the downside of empty stretches of pathfinding. Where in Hexen enemies would respawn with abandon in an effort to wear down the player, Hexen II seemingly keeps a limit on the number of enemies involved on a map. Once they’re dead, they’re dead, which then makes wandering around afterwards an exercise in frustrated boredom searching for clues and hints to the puzzles.

Speaking of which, while feedback and aesthetics are weak points, if there’s anything that the game truly bounces players out of the game, it’s the puzzles. Blackmarsh is host to one of the most infamous puzzle glitches in the series, possibly in all RPG gaming, the solution to which is based on how your character enters a particular courtyard. Depending on which turn the player takes, this will then spawn a clue in one of three locations based on your entry point, along with the necessary quest item in one of three locations after gathering the clue. However, the clue itself can be accidentally destroyed. It can also be missed entirely, and if you don’t find the clue you can’t go directly to the quest item location knowing the solution -- it can only be solved in the order of clue, location, item. So if you somehow miss or even destroy the clue itself -- and Hexen II is rife with destructible items holding hidden mana and health so chances are you’re breaking a lot of shit -- you’re out of luck. I discovered this far, far too late, and had to start the whole game over because I didn’t have a recent enough save file that I could utilize to go back to. Thankfully, this was fairly early on in the game, but it serves as a brutal low point that comes back to haunt the player in the Egyptian levels, where a maddeningly opaque puzzle involving time travel and astrology nearly drove me to a walkthrough and early onset baldness. Elsewhere, puzzles are item-based rather than key-based like in Hexen, which revolve around gathering items, transporting them to a location, and then receiving either a new item or a key. Sometimes these items need to be altered or transmutated; the game is questionably vague about what is necessary sometimes. Fortunately, despite the veiled hints, most fetch quests are simple enough to solve. But the lack of enemies giving way to empty hallways and corridors makes those fetch quests empty and tedious, moreso than they ought to be.

Hexen II isn’t a bad game by any means. It’s very much a product of 1997. New technology, advancements in PC gaming, experimentation with new control schemes and movements, a lot of games at the time featured both innovation and frustration in equal measure. Hexen II is a solid game at its core, with great direction from the returning team, a great soundtrack, fantastic graphics and sound design, and RPG progression. But all of these upgrades come at the cost of a more simplistic version of Hexen that is somehow trying to have the straightforward run-n-gun gameplay of Heretic and the brutal dungeon crawl of Hexen. Puzzles suffer, shooting mechanics suffer, and immersion suffers. What it ends up being is Hexen Lite, not as good as the original, but fine on its own. Would I go back and play it? Sure, at some point I’d love to, but it didn’t draw me in the same way that Hexen did, not even as much as Heretic. But it’s a Quake engine game (which I’m a sucker for) and a 1997 game (which I’m a sucker for, goddammit), and despite its flaws it represents a moment in gaming which I can’t help but be nostalgic for. Your mileage may vary, but be advised that there are other, bigger, bolder versions of this experience that Hexen II has inspired, and while this may have inspired quite a few, it hasn’t aged as well as its predecessors.

Next up: we close off the Thoughts On series of Heretic/Hexen games with Heretic II. And if Hexen II was a different experience in order to differentiate itself as a unique series, Heretic II goes above and beyond to set itself apart....for better and for worse.

#hexen ii #hexen #heretic #raven software #id software #activision #rubyranger #ck burch #thoughts on #long post #ranger report

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bloodydamnit · 4 years

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I'm sorry if someone already asked tgis but what are renders? Is it like tracing?

Hey there! Renders are images made with 3D software in a 3D space. So you have the ability to create whatever youd like, control lighting, build something from scratch through programs like Marvelous Designer and Zbrush (and others), and include them in the image you are trying to create. It’s an amazing resource for artists that don’t have a live model or artists that have a hard time visualizing in their head what they are trying to create, such as myself and many other artists. It eliminates the need for photo references (which is completely valid. you are allowed to use them. literally nearly all artists, especially fine artists, do), since you are creating everything for yourself.

As for tracing, no. 3D renders are an art form all on their own. They can stand alone. For myself, I just use them as assets for the paintings I create even though many times I make a render and I could stop, but I paint them all and add onto them (because there is only so much you can do in a render) during the painting process.

Now! I’m going to diverge completely away from this anon and just use a point that they brought up. So this has nothing to do with you anon, but on the general question of tracing because I think there’s a huge misconception about me that’s been spread around.

Every artist has their own way of working. I went to the Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA for short. I was also accepted to Pratt and SAIC) and have a BFA in Painting. I spent all 4 years in at least 2 drawing/painting classes every semester, which came to around 22 hours a week drawing from life (each class being 6 hours, 1 hour break for lunch, and around 6 hours spent on homework). I want to stress that I know how to draw lol. I was the TA in my anatomy for artists class (that I took twice, simply because I loved it so much), which was a class specifically based around drawing the body, using musculature and bone structure underneath as a guide.

Back then, I was an oil painter and worked solely from life. Which means you look at something, like a live model or a plaster cast, and draw it directly in front of you.

During the summers, I dedicated each break to teach myself something new. Whether that be digital art, using certain programs, sewing, etc.

My senior year I spent the entirety of it painting victims who were murdered by the police onto 12in embroidery hoops and even though I highly identify with that since it is part of my community, I needed to take a step back. Which is why I’ve thrown myself into fanart. Because fanart and digital art make me happy when everything else was so unbelievably dark.

Now, with all that being said, some of you want to consider me less of an artist because I now trace my 3D renders that I’ve spent anywhere on average from 10 - 30+ hours on. I know how to draw, thank you. I don’t bring up the school I went to because oh, look, I went here and got accepted here - but because when I was going to school, your traditional ability meant something (not digging at MICA or any other schools and their processes now. Just that a lot of schools are more accepting of art outside of the fine art sphere. which is awesome). I trace because it makes my life easier. You know that saying? Time = money? Well, my time = my money. And I’m not spending another 6 hours on top of the 10-30 hours I just spent on making my renders, redrawing them. It’s not going to happen.

I’m not an illustrator and I’m not like many illustrators out there. A lot of you may think I have a style, but everything I do is fairly realistic to a point. I say that because when I draw, I need it to be exact. It’s the virgo in me, I guess. I need the proportions to be realistic and so on and so forth and no matter how hard I’ve tried, I simply can’t be the illustrator that most of yall know and see. I just cant. I’ve tried. I’ve agonized over their styles. I cant do it. All I can be is me. And what is that? When it comes to the figure I’m a realistic artist. It is what it is. I cant help that. And me being a realistic artist, means I agonize over what I am doing. I need it to be exact and if I don’t like something, I’ll start completely over. I trace my renders because it’s a faster way to get where I’m going. It’s literally just a time saver - especially when freehanding it would turn out to be the exact same result. Because I’m anal and I need everything to be exact (I hate that about myself and my art but it is what it is).

I am who I am. I am what I am. But me tracing my work (like many fine artists, including the old masters - yes. the old masters - do) doesn’t make me any less of an artist. I’m putting in my 10,000. I create everything I make. I’m literally tracing my own art that I could’ve let be, but want to expand upon.

Now me, personally? I hate my art. I despise almost everything I make and I know that my art isn’t for everyone. Hell, its barely even for myself considering I constantly berate my own work. But I put my everything into my pieces and I’m constantly trying to do better, be better, learn something new, work on something I hate, try a different technique, push myself out of my comfort zone knowing it will fail, and more. I’m nowhere near where I want to be - not even close.

But me choosing to trace something I already fucking made myself to save over 6 hours of drawing time on top of the however many fucking hours it took to render it and how long it’ll take to paint the god damn thing, doesn’t make me any less an artist. I would post examples of my drawings, but Ive already done that before. they’re somewhere on my page and I’m really tired of feeling like I have something to prove - considering this issue really doesnt matter to the majority of you.

It matters to me though and I hope that it’s now cleared.

tl;dr, i know how to draw. i went to school for it and have a bloody degree in it. I trace my renders because they’re already my art, i created them, and I’m not spending another 6 hours over the 10-30 I’ve spent on the render, redrawing them.

Sorry for this long rant. It really shouldn’t bother me, but it does. It devalues so many amazing fucking artists and their craft that they’ve spent their lives creating.

Thank you for the question Anon and sorry for using it as a post to rant on lol.

-BloodyDamnit

#mini rant #about my art #Anonymous

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laine-o · 4 years

Note

who are some artists u take inspiration from / are some of ur inspirations? love ur art btw :)

Wow I’m so sorry it took me awhile to get back to you anon! This was a hard one. I haven’t thought of my inspirations lately since they have changed a bit. I tried to keep these relevant more to my anime art since that’s what I’m more known for, but some are influences on more of my original art that I hope someday I’ll feel brave enough to share with you all.

From left to right, top to bottom.

CLAMP (Magic Knight Rayearth) - they were the reason I started drawing manga/anime artwork at all back in early 2000′s for me. The only “shoujo” artists on this list, I was really taken by the eyes they drew at the time and it still can be seen a little bit today, though I’ve really tried to steer myself away from the large pointed eyes with thick lashes and elongated bodies that plagued my art for a long time. I’ll always love their compositions, use of color and just how they use marker.

Yusuke Murata (Street Fighter fan art) - known for Eyeshield21 and One Punch-Man. This man can draw anything. His sense of anatomy, foreshortening and movement is breathtaking. I love the lighting and rendering as well. He also has a knack for creating really original faces and he doesn’t have the “same-face” syndrome problem. Just top-notch. I don’t aim to be as shonen in style as him, but I hope to start being able to add more dynamic poses into my work.

Kyohiko Azuma (Yotsubato!) - known for Azumanga Daioh and Yotsubato! I really love the comedy and slice of life genres lately. I love softer styles and I really adore the more simplistic approach he has to his character design that really allows the slice of life genre to shine through his art. Despite the simplicity, it still is very anatomically technical. It’s simple, but warm and effective and very soft. His skill in backgrounds as well is phenomenal. I think it’s a whole atmosphere he creates and the story he tells in his illustrations that I would love to apply to my own work if I can. I also related a lot to an interview where he stated he struggles blending little Yotsuba into the world he created because she’s so different stylistically from all the characters, so it’s a lot of fun and helpful to see how he accomplishes this throughout the manga and the panels.

Masashi Kishimoto (Naruto) - of course one of my biggest influences due to all the SasuSaku I draw. I think his style is very effective. It’s also I think more on the simpler side actually (if you compare it to CLAMP and Murata’s). But it’s so dynamic and full of strong composition and memorable character designs. I really appreciate how by his influence, I never really stopped drawing thanks to the characters, Sasuke and Sakura, that he created that had such an impact on me.

Xia Da (Song of the Long March AKA Choukakou) - This one is a manhua artist. Her inking and watercolor artwork is absolutely phenomenal. Definitely someone I look up to when I’m inking my own pieces, I would love to be at her level of skill someday. Primarily an inspo for inking.

Kamome Shirahama (Atelier of Witch Hat) - another artist with phenomenal inking skills that I really admire. She’s also really good at drawing children! But I definitely believe she can draw anything, the fact that she has crossed the barrier to illustrate comic covers for both DC and Marvel is just incredible to me and a testament to how much skill she possesses. Primarily an inspo for inking.

Kozue Amano (Aria) - Known for Aqua, Aria, and Amanchu (lots of A’s!). Her ability to design precious soft characters, gorgeous scenery, and write a beautiful and gentle slice of life fantasy tale has always made her one of my absolute favorites. I absolutely love how she colors her works.

Adachitoka (Noragami) - this is a team who does characters and background art. It’s not a secret that I love watercolor. I also love the movement and action and fighting scenes from this manga. The fact that this team is female and broke through with a popular shonen series is simply amazing. I hope to be as good as they are in drawing figures and in watercolor someday.

James Gurney (Dinotopia) - the master of creating fantasy worlds and making it look like it EXISTS with his painting skills. His “Color and Light” book is an absolute staple (I have it always ready as reference) and it’s a must if you want to give your lighting that more realistic feel. I think my love of lighting really came from growing up with the Dinotopia series. He is always constantly sharing his wisdom as well on his website and twitter and just an amazing and inspiring person for generations of artists.

Makoto Shinkai (Kimi no Na Wa) - This movie’s aesthetics (especially the lush backgrounds), surrealism, and existentialism really spoke to me. I adore the starry skies and heavens and clouds. Screencaps of his movies fill my phone as a quick reference whenever I’m rendering some complex lighting or trying to create some sort of composition with the sky.

Studio Ghibli/Hayao Miyazaki (Kiki’s Delivery Service) - nothing really needs to be said especially given my love for the details in all the movies, the fantastic scenes involving flying in the sky, the gorgeous backgrounds, and the delicious food. Always a good choice to use as a reference for anything with nature or even cluttered cozy houses and rooms and greenhouses. It’s still a desire to delve more into world building for me and I’ll be using these movies for reference. I also keep tons of their artwork in my phone as reference.

Satoru Takizawa (Legend of Zelda, Breath of the Wild) - Known for his work with Twilight Princess and Breath of the wild. You know where I’m going with this - he is the MASTER of ambient lighting. I love his rough and loose painting style that I wish I could achieve someday, but I still have a tendency to over-render. A great resource for learning how to world-build and for concept art.

Andrew Loomis - anatomy and figure drawing master. At the end of this list, but not the least important by a long shot. His book I think is not the most beginner friendly in terms of seeing basic shapes and breaking down the form (I think his construction is still more on the complex side), but it’s a good place to start and keep grinding until it “makes sense.” It took me years, but once it started clicking, I have him to thank for it because my anatomy was an absolute mess because of my background of starting from CLAMP’s art style. Buy his book and make it your bible. Attend figure drawing classes. If you want to illustrate people no matter how simple, you must make studying anatomy a part of your process.

Lastly - some original artists to check out who I like the inking, watercolor skills, and concepts of that closely align with my interests for my own original art.

meyoco - twitter, instagram

maruti_bitamin - twitter, instagram, tumblr

Qinniart - twitter, instagram

Some mangaka honorable mentions -

Takeshi Obata (Death Note, Bakuman)

Kaoru Mori (Emma, Otoyomegatari)

Satsuki Yoshino (Barakamon)

This was super long, I apologize, but it’s something I’m passionate about. I love art to pieces. I think a lot of what I admire is very technical - anatomy and lighting. I think my influences also reflect my aim to be more proficient at watercolor and inking. And lastly, world-building, fantasy/cosmos, and background art. I think a lot of what I really love though, is color and lighting and that’s found within any of these artists. :)

Thanks for the question anon! You allowed me to geek out on art for about an hour while I wrote this out.

#anon #asks #my asks #laine-o responds #Anonymous

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spicywarl0ck · 4 years

Text

Here we are with day two of the AU-gust prompts. The prompt was college for today, so I just had to go with some fluffy romance. This will feature my fiancés Aisling Trevelyan and Cullen, since they are adorable fluff balls. (Also put a hinted male HawkexFenris in there for my own heart :D Oh, and not to mention a hinted WardenxAlistair)

Prompts are coming from @augustwritingchallenge

There was a light breeze that brushed trough her golden hair. The wooden bench that she sat upon creaked from time to time. It was a nice day with a blue sky, scattered with only a few clouds and the sun shone onto the football field that laid in front of her. Not that she was overly interested in sport, or wanted to watch the ongoing training. No, that she was sitting here in the sun was only because the library had been too crowded for her to find a seat, and the lawn in front of Arlathan college was filled with lovey-dovey couples. She had felt rather uncomfortable in their midst, especially with those kinds of guys that tended to flirt with her, making it obvious that they were more interested in her father than herself. But even if they were honest, she often just shied away, easily embarrassed by brash flirtations.

She had thought about simply returning to the Dorm room that she shared with another girl but the sign that her roommate left on the door had spoken a clear message. In the end she hadn’t even dared to knock and had fled the scene with a flushed face, not even wanting to imagine what the sounds she had heard behind her dorm room meant.

Not that she wasn’t curious as well. She’d glimpsed in the books that her older brother bought and loved to read to a certain point. The things that were described in the ‘Sword and shields’ the series she was currently following, sounded just so adventurous and exciting. It wasn't that she didn't want to do stuff like that as well, to flirt back when someone nice tried, but every time she was just rendered to a stumbling and stuttering mess.

So her last option to find a more or less peaceful place to read had been the benches around the football field. Of course there was the shouting of the training cheerleaders and the yelling of the football players that filled the air. But she actually didn’t mind it that much. It was still better than the other options. If it wouldn't be for the noises in the background it would have almost felt like home and sometimes she missed sitting in her corner of the garden, reading in silence in midst of the plants she cared for.

Not that she couldn’t have lived easily at home and get driven to the college by a driver. She would’ve been able to have every amount of the luxury at home, but she decided to stay in the dorms like everyone else. Especially after her brother had teased her that she wouldn’t make it without her bathtub.

But instead she now sat here, dressed in her favorite fluttery summer dress and a book on her lap, probably out of place because most of the other people here came to watch the ongoing training.

Her eyes shifted to the players on the field on occasion. Especially when she heard loud thuds that indicated that two bodies had crushed against each other. Aisling sat in the last row of the stadium benches, which was why the sound always took her by surprise.

“ALISTAIR! YOU NEED TO WATCH OUT FOR THE BALL FOR MAKER’S SAKE!” someone yelled over the field, causing her to flinch in her seat.

The voice seemed to belong to a blonde haired and sturdy man. He wasn’t the tallest of them all, but he seemed to be the one in the lead. Probably the captain of the football team considering the fact that he stood on the side and observed his players. Not that she knew a lot about the game, but at least she knew there had to be a captain.

The player that had seemingly made the mistake, a guy that actually looked very similar to their captain seemed to apologize in earnest before they retook their formation to begin from start once more. At least he looked quite guilty, as did the redheaded girl in the front rows, who had probably distracted him as he strolled back onto the field.

“HEY, HAWKE! TAKE THIS SERIOUS! THE NEXT SEASON IS STARTING WITHIN A MONTH! IF YOU KEEP THIS UP YOU WILL BE CRUSHED BY OUR ENEMIES!” The captain shouted once more, this time towards a broad and dark haired man that just waved towards a dark skinned elf that leaned against the wooden stands and who seemed to effectively ignore the man.

She tried to concentrate back onto the book she read, but her eyes always flew towards the sturdy men that moved in such a barbaric way, ramming each other with full force. But she’d to admit that it looked fascinating and at least it seemed to be fun for them, even though they were drilled by the captain and her attention got drawn to him on more than one occasion.

The man surely was handsome, with the college jacket he wore, the styled hair and that rough bellowing voice. Of course, she’d only heard him shout so far and that probably didn't say much about him. Aisling found herself to move a few rows closer, and she sat down behind the elf.

But her eyes didn't linger on the slender man for long and fixed on the captain once more. He was only a few seats away, and she was able to study his profile, her eyes travelling over the carefully styled hair, the furrowed brows while he was shouting. He was rough, but that didn't make him less handsome, and she found herself watching more than concentrating on her book. "HAWKE! CAREFULL YOU..." Her head had spun around, at the sudden shout, but she couldn't even see what happened, just heard a loud thud and a pain shooting through her head before everything went black around her.

A low groan escaped her lips when she tried to open her eyes, making her head thrum in pain. Everything around her seemed to be blurry for a moment, the sunlight hurting in her eyes. She felt herself get moved pulled against something warm. “I’m so sorry. ” A deep and gentle voice rumbled right above her and when her eyes focused, she could make out the face of the Football captain. He held her in his warm and broad arms, amber eyes looking at her in concern. “That ball shouldn’t have been thrown into your direction. I’ll let him run 100 Leaps around the field for that.” he continued, his hand brushing through her blonde locks, and he looked at her, his brows furrowing again. "You have been out for a moment, but at least you are not bleeding. But we really should get something for that bruise. Hold on." Her head was spinning with those new informations, and she was barely able to process it with the thrumming in her head. Only when she got easily lifted from the bench she realized that the warmth had been his chest, that she had been laying against his body while he had examined her head. Her heart started to beat faster, and she wanted to say something, thank you at least, but her voice just didn't cooperate. As if she had lost it, like every time she tried to talk to someone she found interesting. That she got pressed against his body, felt his hands carefully holding her against him just made it worse. She wasn't very touchy usually, kept her distance with an exception to her brother but this, this was something completely different.

There was a first aid room right next to the training field, even though no one was there right now, but he seemed to know the place good enough to find the things that he needed, opening the cabinets to get out a few things she couldn't make out.

He returned, stood right in front of her, and when she looked up he smiled, making the scar that cut through his lip twitch. Aisling felt heat raise up in her cheeks, quickly looked down again and flinched when a wet cloth brushed against the bump on her forehead, taking her completely by surprise. It hurt, ached and throbbed, but she didn’t dare to move even one muscle. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest, and he was so close to her that she could smell the aftershave that mixed with the sweat from the training.

“I.. uh.. uhm..” she began to stutter, at a loss for words obviously. This all was just too much for her. From what she had understood she had been hit by a ball and it certainly felt like it, but it couldn't have hit her so hard that her brain just couldn’t function properly, right? She felt just dumb, not being able to talk to him, to not even be able to say thank you to the man that looked after her so gently.

“Sorry… I… didn’t want to hurt you. I’ll be careful.” the smile that followed his words rendered her speechless again, and the way he adjusted the cloth, now softly dabbed on the bruise, it just was so sweet and careful that her heart raced even more. There he was, such a broad guy that could’ve probably beat everyone else to a pulp. Yet, he was so gentle and caring that it made her heart flutter.

“I...uh.. it’s okay. I didn’t pay any attention either so… I guess it’s my fault too.” Aisling managed to get over her lips with a shy smile. “Th… Thank you for taking care of me.” she added, her cheeks completely flushed.

“Uh… no you’re welcome. It was my fault too, in a way. Uh… my name is Cullen Rutherford if you want to report someone. I’m the one in charge of the team.” he replied to her, the smile on his face twitching again, leaving her stare at him in fascination. She couldn’t help but to think of it as adorable.

“Aisling.” she introduced herself, not feeling the aching pain in her head anymore, thanks to the fluttery feeling in her stomach. "I...You don't need to worry, I won't report anybody." her eyes found his and for a second his soft dabbing stopped. The moment broke with the creaking of the door as the nurse entered, but glimpsing at the flushed face of the man in front of her she wondered if that ball was probably what they needed to find together, and she couldn’t help but to feel thankful for the guy who’d thrown it.

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chaoticluxraydesign · 4 years

Photo

Planning

Our group initially planned on creating a guide about dating for Millennials in Singapore. We first came up with the overall content and sketched the layouts of our assigned pages. I was tasked with the Cover, a Comic as the Premise and Content Page.

I first came up with 2 comic strip drafts and explained the story to the group to get feedback. They liked the story on the left, which depicts a main character finding a date through a dating app. This established the art style that we were going to use as a cute, cartoon-ish style. Then, I proceeded to draw out the more concrete draft, with a proper layout and text:

Next, I worked with my group to come up with a general colour scheme. We knew we wanted to use soft colours, and the initial palette was based on pastel pink, purple and blue.

After Feedback 1:

The first feedback was that the comic may be too time-consuming to do. Hence, I decided to scrap it for a much shorter premise for the book. I felt that was enough to introduce our main character, as well as convey our idea of a said main character wanting to find a date.

Our e-book underwent some restructuring in terms of content and flow of pages. We brainstormed and researched for content together to determine the final content flow. We decided to combine the content page with the “comic” so that pages 5-6 could remain a spread of a map. Hence, I came up with a second draft of the content page:

I next worked on character designs. I got inspiration from Pinterest for the stylistic direction of our e-book. I especially liked the style that utilises minimal colours, with cute, hand-drawn, cartoon-ish characters and objects.

My initial idea was to make the main character androgynous, as seen in the first comic sketch. However, I noticed that classmates were more likely to see the character as a girl and suggest adding a male character as a counterpart in their initial feedback. With these references and feedback, I proposed the main character (coloured):

Whilst creating the cover page, I felt that the colour of the girl’s hoodie did not stand out because the cover had a lot of pink and white elements. So I chose a darker shade of blue instead. I also did up the graphics for the content page:

Art Direction and Graphics

With my pages settled, I begin my role of maintaining the art direction of the e-book. I compiled a list of graphics of the girl that my members needed for their pages so that I may start to draw them. I also devised a way to keep the style of icons as similar as possible. Because there are many people working on the design, having everyone submit their own completed graphics would have been rather disastrous for the art style. Since most of the group enjoyed creating flat icons, I proposed that they sent me the vectors of their icons and I would add colour to them.

I did this by importing the vectors (without fill) from Illustrator to Photoshop and colouring on a layer beneath the vector outlines. We decided to standardise a basic black stroke for our icons. By standardising the colour palette to just 3 colours and applying colours in a stylised manner, I managed to achieve a style that worked coherently despite different people handling the outlines. The colours chosen were analogous colours that complemented each other and of different tonal values to ensure that the coloured icons did not look too flat.

We encountered the problem of different art styles when one particular line work stood out more than the others. It did not really follow the cutesy style we had going. To solve this, I worked with the groupmate to select some references from Google and redid the graphic in a more suitable style:

Compiling the e-book

Whilst the rest of the group were working on their pages, I set up the InDesign document to be used and inserted completed graphics first. I created a border made of red-pink lines and a ribbon and included page numbers and a Snow background in the Master page. I also set up character and paragraph styles to standardise the text in the e-book.

After my group members transferred their Illustrator files to me, I coloured and exported the icons in .PNG as it preserves transparency. Most of the graphics were done in 72ppi as the e-book was not meant to be printed, and that resolution was good enough for web-browsing. However, I found that some icons lose a lot of quality when exported and recoloured them in 300ppi instead. (It is a bit difficult to tell from the image below, try this link instead)

Our group met up on Zoom to work on the e-book together. Since only one person could work on the file at a time, I shared my screen with the group and started compiling all the content. Everyone chipped in by giving feedback on where edits should be made to improve the design. For example, the content on page 3 was divided into 2 sections but did not have a clear-cut distinction between the sections. Some groupmates pointed this out and I added a pink divider to solve it. This was a team effort.

I utilised the text wrap function of InDesign to subtly give text boxes a more interesting look. Since the initial idea was to have a lightbulb overlap a text box, I decided to wrap the text around the lightbulb’s bounding box.

After exporting the e-book to .pdf, I opened it on my macbook preview and found that the colour had changed slightly. I did a bit of research and learnt that different software rendered colours differently. I then tried to open it on the Google Chrome browser and the colours looked correct. Remembering that our e-book was to be viewed on both laptops and mobile, I opened the file on the Google Chrome browser on my iPhone, and it seems the colour looked different as well. The page was more yellowish and the pink was duller. This could be due to the settings for my device’s screen. Therefore, I concluded that the e-book should be viewed on the browser of a laptop or desktop.

After Feedback 2:

One main feedback we got concerned the map page. The outline of the map appeared to be too light and difficult to notice, and the legend looked too much like the bubbles accompanying the geotags. To fix this, I worked with my groupmate to come up with a few edits to the design of the map. We removed the waiter graphic and shifted the legend down. We also added more content to explain the 3 different categories we had. Finally, we changed the colours of the corresponding geotags on the map to further emphasize that they belonged to their respective categories.

Another feedback we got was the inconsistent spacing between the heart-shaped bullet points and the text beside it, which I promptly fixed.

Challenges

One of the biggest challenges I faced was collaborating on the style for the e-book. Up until now, most of my design works have been solo projects which gave me full control over the design. However, with groupmates, we have to adapt to each other’s styles and sometimes that involves sacrificing our own preferences.

To make things easier, I proposed the workflow and a simple style that I felt was both appealing and easy enough to work with given our project constraints (deadline, inability to have physical meetings, lack of software for some members). I was lucky to be in a very helpful and accommodating group, though keeping the style consistent was a rather persistent problem we faced. Since I was in charge of compiling most of the pages and graphics, it was extremely time-consuming.

Another problem we faced was broken links when passing the InDesign documents around. We did minimal transferring of files. When we did, we found that links sometimes got broken. To fix this, I suggested using InDesign’s package function and explained to the group why links broke and how to fix them. We zipped the packaged folders before sending them to other groupmates. Since I am working on an earlier version of Indesign, I learnt that I should use the .idml files to open the document instead.

Design Document

I helped out with the Design and Layout, Production, and Reflection sections of the design document. Since I handled most of the InDesign and compiled graphics, I helped to add the more technical parts of the design document. I also explained the design principles our group used in our e-book.

Workspaces

Better quality gifs can be found here: ID | PSD

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twiststreet · 5 years

Quote

Joaquin Phoenix’s “Joker” scored a record $13.3 million on Thursday night in North America. [...] The Joaquin Phoenix-starrer is now looking at a possible offshore weekend bow of $110M+. If that holds, along with domestic expectations, it is also looking at a $200M+ global opening, and further has a shot at overtaking Venom‘s 2018 record October global debut. [...] Weeks of speculation as to ‘Joker’s’ opening weekend performance and its status as one of the most talked about movies of the year have made the acclaimed (and controversial) film a must-see cinematic event,” Comscore senior media analyst Paul Dergarabedian said.

Feel like Rambling Instead of Doing My Chorin’ Dept.: I have zero interest in this Joker movie since I prefer cinema and/or low-grade Japanese pornography (which in my estimation is cinema in the Scorsese of sense of the word because you learn a lot about psychology, the punishing psychology of sempais). I have zero interest in like adult super-clown movies or whatever the fuck’s going on here-- and I don’t want to understand the psychology of someone who doesn’t have enough sex, I’m just too afraid that letting those kind of thoughts into my head might make me slightly less excellent at intercourse and the world would be robbed forever (Ladies). And add in even a remote chance of some shiny chrome War Boy blowing away my theater...? Imma pass. The only Batman villain I’m risking death for is Egghead...

But boy, watching people talk about and around this movie-- what a giant pile of yikes, which has ended exactly how all moral panics about art invariably end, with a giant pile of cash changing hands. And only “We want to generate TV ratings from normal people who hate arty shit we usually reward”-style award nominations no doubt await (aka the Black Panther slot).

What a stupid time to be alive... Its always been a stupid time to be alive because we’re not a really brilliant species, but I mean... moral panics over super-clown movies which are poised to make hundreds of millions of dollars where the moral panic isn’t just “oh my god it’s a billboard you can see from outer space about how we stopped funding our education system”... Boy...

I mean, I don’t think everyone was in bad faith, necessarily-- like if I were a lady who had to worry about incels coming and blowing away my yoga class or whatever, everytime I’m downward-facing my dogs, I’d probably be kinda not super-hot for a Joker movie either, like the world needs one more thing zooming-up the limp-dicks of this world. Or I mean, just generally, on the one hand, you want to talk about the world, right, because you live there or whatever? But on the other hand, it’s that thing you learn if you write about comics, especially-- being the guy talking about the thing just helps the thing, no matter what you say about it. I don’t know-- I never figured out how to square that circle. Like, I don’t know that I’m the audience for a lot of the moral panic, but it’s not like it was unreasonable for people to be like “can’t we just not”...

It just fucking got pretty wild in the last few days though-- because it got sucked into a second entirely different jetstream. You had the “Art is the exact same thing as an instruction manual for stupid people” elitism that kinda kicked off by that awful Mother Jones editor, or people who just want to childproof the entire world because they desperately think that’s a necessary response to living in a horror world (which I don’t think I sign up for but I can see my “we are all damned anyway and deserve to die” position not winning a lot of adherents)... but then thanks to the weird-ass marketing strategy (positioning Joker explicitly as a weapon in the Great American Culture War...? That’s how they sold Lady Ghostbusters, “come see this movie to send a message”, but it was just weird seeing a Reverse-Ghostbust)... it got sucked into the constant thriving secondary hum on the internet of unfunny people who are super-online and who have a constant axe to grind about comedy, because they don’t get jokes, don’t understand why people laugh at them or anything, and they’re narcissists who think we’re all actually laughing at them when we laugh at jokes because they’re so fucking insecure about their outsized-perception of themselves especially as victims?

At some point it just wound its way where a lot of people going “The Hangover wasn’t funny to begin with, even though it was one of the highest grossing R-Rated comedies ever made, because we’re all evolved now”-- arguing that movie’s half-billion dollars of revenue generated all magically rendered meaningless cause the director said some stupid-ass jackass shit...? Yeah, good luck with that. “Did you know the Hangover had Mike Tyson in it??? The internet’s going to win this fight against one of the biggest comedy hits of my lifetime, ten years later-- how dare people have laughed, according to me, someone who sounds totally normal and cool and fun to be around? I’m going to buy two tickets to the next movie by the Thor guy-- he’s making anti-hate satires-- why can’t you all be like a guy who makes fucking Thor movies?” Maybe I’m wrong, I’m on the side I’m on, but I just don’t think the internet’s going to win this nonstop war against jokes, no matter how many anti-hate satires the Thor guy’s got in him! (Anti-hate satire... go fuck yourself...)

And then the other side of things you had people who are like “nothing ever matters wheeee” where you just have to ignore, like, just the completely stupid world we’re stuck in full of absolute shitheads who obviously have us all surrounded and just are nontop dripping abject fucking brain-deadening bullshit into their ear, day after day, like Chinese Water Torture that these cretins are lining up to take part in, just salivating for to help make the world that much dumber and shittier, happy New York Comicon everybody! We really need Joker when there are 10 hour Youtube videos of guys complaining about a lady working the counter at Wendy’s who turned down their extra-large bottle of perfume they bought her or I don’t even know what the fuck’s going on with Youtube, nevermind games-- we really needed to make that avalanche of stupid any scarier or stupider..? I mean, “shit in, shit out” seems kinda like a reasonable proposition to me. You can’t feed people shit all day and then be like “why does this place smell?” It’s all the shit! I call it my Carl’s Jr. theory of human civilization.

But I mean, you look at the massive loneliness in the world, and even a cursory examination of what’s happening with men in this country statistically, at the same time as all kinds of people are getting stepped onby economic pressures and then you layer on climate change on top of everything else which kinda has to put some kinda dampener on human optimism generally, even if crazy people want to pretend it’s not happening... And then you’re going to tell people not to want entertainment that goes to a dark place, or that the movie they should see instead is Ad Astra (which was just Star Wars for men who hate their penises)??? “You should spend more time contemplating how being a man is bad, like Brad Pitt in Ad Astra.” A lot of people online (and not just Republicans) just seem angry and isolated and disconnected and sad, and I just don’t think “what if we tried to not have art or entertainment that speaks to that and instead gave them a DVD of Booksmart instead” is just even remotely realistic, or even worth contemplating, from a how-people-function standpoint. People who get upset about art being a valve, like ... I don’t understand how they comprehend the history of art in the 20th century, let alone modern day stuff...

Is there going to be a violent cost to it? I don’t know-- you go look at Falling Down’s wikipedia page and they mention a guy who shot up some folks whose favorite movie was Falling Down. But... I think there’s a gap between knowing that and then judging Falling Down for it, or that being a relevant data point when talking about Falling Down, that I don’t go over that gap and other people do. Maybe it’s my age or my own selfishness, I don’t know...

I don’t know. As usual, maybe I don’t know what I think. Anyways, it’s at least nice that it’s finally out and we just have to wait and see what the next bullshit-ass bullshit that causes some moral panic is going to be. There was cancelling Stephen Colbert because a hashtag inventor told people he hated Asians or some shit. There was people saying Isle of Dogs hated the Japanese. Bruce Lee’s daughter yelling at Once Upon a Time in Hollywood -- that was cute, I guess; I guess Bruce Lee’s no longer a public figure who we can comment on and re-purpose as artists have been doing since Warhol or before, because Bruce Lee came in his wife one time, good to know. I can’t remember all the panics with stand-up comedians, all that stuff, whoof. There was that time people got angry cause a guy on Youtube didn’t want to see the Lady Ghostbuster movie-- that’s not even an exaggeration there was like one youtube guy everyone got mad at. I don’t know. We’ve reached evil super-clowns. I don’t know how much stupider things can get, only that they will get infinitely, infinitely, infinitey stupider until the sun melts us because we’re definitely not surviving climate change, this isn’t a species built to last...

Anyways, felt like rambling.

#I am Pointless!

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secret-diary-of-an-fa · 4 years

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Secret-Diary Recommends Some Music

I’m not exactly a ‘music person’, in that I don’t know a lot about the mechanics that underpin it: I couldn’t look at sheet music and tell you what the tune is or describe the change in chords in a classical piece. I’m not even 100% sure what the difference between a Ukulele and a Banjo is, aside from the fact that one is played by coquettish islanders while I get shit-faced on Pina Colladas in the background and the other is played by Louisiana bootleggers from the 1920s with comedy accents. All that being said, I know enough to know that the overwhelming preponderance of music produced today is total crap. Every time I’m foolish enough to tune a radio to a musical station, there’s a new barely-pubescent twatwipe peeping about their feelings in a tupperware voice that strongly suggests they don’t actually have any. Either that or its some nominally grown-ass man or woman singing something that they imagine is sassy and empowering but actually just makes them sound like Gary from World’s End- only less charming, because immature, quasi-literate manbabies are infinitely more annoying when they’re real. The point is, it’s a fucking wasteland out there. Trying to find a band (from now or the past) who you’d actually want to listen to can be a chore. That’s why, as your gracious patron and benefactor, I’ve decided to share the fruits of my musical explorations with you and hit you with some recommendations. I’ve tried to be as eclectic as possible, since I want everyone who reads this to find something they’ll like, no matter how radically divergent their individual tastes are. Some of the entries on this list are famous, some are obscure and some were famous but have been made obscure by the passage of time. I’ve tried to limit myself to people whose music you might not be fully aware of, even if you’ve heard of them to some extent, but I’m not plugged into what is and isn’t popular with peeps nowadays, so don’t read too much into my choices if they seem either too obvious or too bizarre. Here goes.

1. The Orion Experience An ultra-camp synthesis of New Romantic music, bubble-gum pop and modern vocal stylings, The Orion Experience are unlike anything else you’ll have heard recently. They seem to borrow as much from the original Decadent tradition in art and literature as from later musical iterations, meaning that their lyrics are complex and sophisticated without being especially deep. They’re primarily concerned with building aesthetically-interesting and richly-evocative language-constructs rather than performing an emotion that no-one in the band is actually feeling. The deliberate artifice is deeply refreshing in a musical landscape of faked sincerity and forced emoting. I recommend starting with the songs The Cult of Dionysus and Sugar. If you like those, the rest of their stuff may also interest you.

2. Trace Adkins During an attempt to write a wild west/sci-fi fusion novel, I went on a musical odyssey, looking for apposite songs that would gel well with the world I was building (knowing a world’s soundtrack can help cement that world in your imagination- try it, if you’re a writer yourself). Anyway, I stumbled across Trace Adkins- a country singer with a palpable sense of humour about being a country singer and a knack for delivering a silly-but-well-turned phrase. Also, without getting technical, his tunes just flat-out rock. I have no idea how well known he in the Country and Western World, but since his existence came as news to me, I’m sticking him on this list. Start with the surprisingly sexy Honky Tonk Badonkadonk and graduate to Hot Momma and Whoop a Man’s Ass. You’ll know if it’s your sort of thing from the first minute of any of those songs.

3. Caravan Palace Have ye heard of a thing called Electric Swing? If you’re reading a blog post about music, you probably have, but just in case you haven’t, let me tell you it’s a fantastic genre. Imagine if The Great Gatsby owned a synth and took a fuckload of mind-squanching hallucinogens. Well, that’s Electric Swing. Few do it better than Caravan Palace, who also seem to borrow heavily from club music and other genres, adding these to their unique blend. For some pure Electric Swing, start with Susie. For something a little more modern, start with Lone Digger.

4. 11 Acorn Lane Speaking of Electric Swing, I can also recommend 11 Acorn Lane, whose lyrics can be a little more playful than those of Caravan Palace. They also have a somewhat more classic sound. Start with Let’s Face it I’m Cute for a great sample of their work.

5. The Fratellis Now, my UK readers have almost certainly heard of The Fratellis, since they actually got some traction on mainstream radio over here. I’m less sure about those of you reading along in America, so allow me to make an introduction. Their music is joyously and unapologetically grimy and proletarian, paring an unrivaled sense of fun and energy with a sly, low-key feeling of cynicism and detachment. The tunes and melodies evoke Rock, punk and New-Wave (think The Ramones by way of The Proclaimers) without wholly relying on any of them. Check out Chelsea Dagger or Henrietta to hear them at their most gleefully up-tempo-yet-jaded, or try Vince the Lovable Stoner for a more chill, tongue-in-cheek song.

5. Dionne Warwick You’ve probably heard of her in connection with There’s Always Something There to Remind Me, especially since it featured heavily in that one fantastic episode of Black Mirror. However, you might not have realised just how much she’s contributed to musical history: her soft-yet-powerful voice and classic Rock rhythms and tunes combine to create something archetypal yet unique. Leap right in with Do You Know the Way to San Jose and discover a fucking legend.

6. Rufus Rex Ever wanted to hear a freakishly talented man singing songs based on horror films and books (particularly the works of H.P. Lovecraft) in a style that evokes Goth music but defies genre on closer inspection? Then get your arse over to Rufus Rex and start plumbing the nightmarish depths of horror-music with the song World’s In Between.

7. Studio Killers Contemporary electronic music with surprisingly inventive and weird lyrics. That about sums up Studio Killers, really. Look, not everything on this list can be genre-transcendent or epoch-defining: some things are just very good examples of the type of music they belong to. If you haven’t heard of them, start with the song Eros and Apollo then check out Ode to the Bouncer, then compare and contrast: those two songs represent the two opposite edges of the musical spectrum they cover, so if you like either one, at least some of their songs will be for you. Also, treat yourself to the music videos on Youtube: they’re surreal and awsesome.

8. Fishbone A punky ska band from back in the day, Fishbone are on this list for one reason and one reason only: Party at Ground Zero. Party at Ground Zero is an upbeat, gloriously energetic song about nuclear war. It’s a total jam and you absolutely have to experience it for yourself.

9. Tomska Tomska... isn’t technically a professional musician. He’s a Youtube comedian, short-film maker and collaborative animator who became internet-famous for his ‘ASDF movies’. On the off-chance that you haven’t seen them, they’re short collections of animated skits and jokes rendered in a simple but immediately-compelling and recognisable style. Anyway, Tomska decided to create fast-paced, catchy songs about some of the recurring characters in his ASDF movies, and those songs turned out to be fucking amazing- being both laugh-out-loud funny and actually really musically ambitious and well put together. Check them out on his channel. I’m particularly fond of Mine Turtles, but you do you.

10. Paul Anka Big band and jazz musician Paul Anka once set out on a quest to create 1920s-sounding versions of famous rock ‘n’ roll songs and the results can only be described as ‘eargasmically epic’. His versions of Jump and Eye of the Tiger are, frankly, better than the originals.

Right, that’s everything I can thing of for now. I’m going to go make myself a big sandwich. By the time your read this, I’ll be settling down with two-slices of bread, some cheese and an unreasonably large amount of cranberry sauce. All the songs and bands in today’s entry are on Youtube, so go have a nosy. Until next time, peace out and fuck off!

#Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer #music #music recommendations #electro-swing #punk #big band #rock and roll #electronic #ska #songs #song recommendation

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