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altaruwusmolboiz · 2 years

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I'm going to rant about how misunderstood Dear Evan Hansen is because I swear to God no one understands complex characters. Before you guys ask, I do have diagnosed GAD and I don't exhibit symptoms the same way Evan does, but I know people who do.

The second, the SECOND there's a character with anxiety that you can't turn into your UwU child who can do no wrong, you immediately make him out as a disgrace. The show by no means excuses Evan's actions. Just because he wasn't physically punished doesn't mean that he's let off scot free. Did you forget that he lost the closest thing he's ever had to friends? Did you miss the part where he tried to say that he wasn't Connor's friend but then got tangled in a web of lies?

I'm not excusing his actions, he's not a perfect person, what he did was awful, but he's a three dimensional character. Calling Evan a sociopath is not only inaccurate, but it's also completely not okay. I'm sorry people with anxiety aren't perfect. Yes, saying that Evan was the hero is absolutely missing the point, but so is saying Evan was the villain.

Not only that but you'll then go and romanticize Jared and Connor and Alana (Two of whom also canonly have mental illness, and Jared implied to have something) and it really shows that there's never an in between. We either could do no wrong or are the worst people on Earth. I like Jared and Connor and Alana but they aren't perfect and neither is Evan, and they have good qualities as well.

Y'all love asking for morally grey characters but the second you actually get some, you criticize it.

As you can probably guess, Dear Evan Hansen means so much to me and it means so much to other people who dealt with mental illness. There's a reason why Waving Through A Window is such a popular song; because it's incredibly relatable. The score is good! It's just not in a musical theatre style, but it's still good! You Will Be Found is a good song! Even to break in a glove is way too overhated. Good For You and Requiem are some of my favorite songs just in a musical in general.

My intention here isn't to say that you have to like Dear Evan Hansen (It isn't without its flaws) but my intention is to say that it's entirely misunderstood. As someone with anxiety, thank you Dear Evan Hansen.

(Side Note: The movie wasn't as good as the musical but the movie wasn't that bad and I think that people overhate that movie as well.)

#dear evan hansen #i hate to bring this discourse back but i have such strong opinions about this musical #same thing with be more chill it's just so frustrating to see jeremy and evan completely misinterpreted #i also hate the people who compare to next to normal because there's allowed to be more than one show about mental illness #in fact dear evan hansen helped to encourage conversations about mental health in musical theatre #ESPECIALLY in teens where at the time we almost never had media about mentally ill teenagers

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signedeclipse · 1 year

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Hi! May I request nsfw oneshot with Gyokko (in his true form) x fem reader? Don't have any specific idea just him being his mischievous, confident self while blushing like crazy. I thought I finally don't simp for him anymore, then I saw him animated when he was blushing after Muzan touched him and I'm back at it again 😅

Desire is Passionate [Gyokko X Reader]

Reader is Human Female | NSFW

Recomended Song - Into You by Ariana Grande

The days were long and boring for you, filled with an overly bright sun and plenty of people that found you repulsive.

Women your age were supposed to be married in your town, usually with a kid or three, staying at home to bring them up while the husband works in the market or something along those lines.

You were eccentric compared to most around here, which made you stick out like a sore thumb. You could never explain that it wasn't that men hated you, but that you had a partner waiting for you that they could never know of.

Well, never was a stretch. WIth how many went missing after they dared to lay hands on you, you were starting to think many had found out in their final moments.

Your day didn't start very early, only waking up around 3 pm so you could go out and sell some of the pots your lover had finished, of which most sat in houses costlier than your entire life.

They sold for a lot, being intricate pieces with handiwork almost unnatural, which it was. Your husband had been at it for over a century, and all of these pots were both a way of getting you by and spreading his reach to the furthest corners of Japan. It was impressive, and everyone believed you had made them.

Everytime you walk up the mountainside to your secluded home, it'd be one with guilt at the back of your mind. He encouraged you to take credit because who else could have made them? No one could know it was him. Still, the compliments you received were not meant for you.

When you could, you'd write them down and give them to him, hoping he would take them as well as you had. He had admirers out there.

You always made it home just in time for the sunset so when you opened the door you wouldn't risk getting sun inside. It also meant you could expect to be greeted.

"I'm home!" You spoke the moment you pushed open the door, pulling your shoes off while listening to the faint giggles from the studio peeking from the side of the home. It was made of glass, allowing the moonlight in, and in the day you usually had a thick canvas material pulled over it to create shade.

"My dear! I've waited all evening..."The old wooden flooring creaked beneath you as you were able to see past the corner into the studio, stepping down onto its ceramic flooring that was covered in a thin dust, and dozens of half-complete pottery.

Stemming from one of the only finished ones in the room was a tall figure, which had slip-covered hands shaking off the filth so he could swoon towards you.

"Good Evening, Gyokko!" You hugged onto the torso of the being, playfully slapping away any of the hands from getting your fresh clothes dirtied. "You woke up early, didn't you?"

Normally he wasn't up until an hour into the night, just to be certain. But from what you could see, he ripped off the cover himself and was already working on his next project.

"Surprise~!" His 'tail' of sorts had curled around you, keeping you still in his grasp. "I figured I would gift you my company today, since I ate so well yesterday."

Despite your protests, one of his hands had swept your hair out of your face, which left a streak of clay in it. It would be easy to wash out, but you still protested.

Gyokko was playful, especially if it meant mildly inconveniencing you.

When you ducked out of his grasp to do a light jog to the kitchen, your refuge behind the counter worked rather well at keeping him away. He could only tread so far before he had to move pots, and there weren't any finished ones in the kitchen.

Much to your surprise, the sound of heavy steps only registered after a pair of claws hands had lifted you up into the air, holding you there from your under arms like a sad, mopey cat.

You pouted at him, legs hanging limply in defeat, which only made the upper moon giggle further.

It was criminal how helpless, how absolutely adorable you were to him. You were his everything.

On the other hand, you had dropped your bag to the floor before he had picked you up, leaving you with no weapons to retaliate- not that you would- and staring at his form like you usually did.

Gyokko didn't hate this version himself, he loved it! But it meant his pots became useless, which defeated the point of a demon blood art. Around you though, it didn't change any circumstances, only made it easier to chase you around since you were always so keen on fleeing.

He didn't mind playing chase, and you didn't mind seeing him like this; talk about total eye candy.

His scales bloomed in colour when he was like this, lighting up his very, very generously muscular frame. His hair of sorts also grew out, giving off the same magenta and purple he had before. Each of his mouths curled into a grin, with one licking its lips. It was hard to register that his eyes were looking you up and down.

"You're like a little doll, aren't you?" He sat you on the kitchen table, though his body was pushing your legs apart, each webbed hand holding onto your wrists as if he were worried you'd crawl away.

You'd seen what he could do, watched him puncture flesh with his talons as if it were butter, seen his teeth break through bone, you knew he could do whatever he wanted- but all he did was lean in until you leaned in too, giving him a small kiss.

Not once had he forced you to do anything, and you could tell by the way his skillful hands were already moving to your waist and squeezing ever so gently that he was feeling out every groove your body had.

You couldn't help but smile at the fact that you had something so rare all to yourself, and a blush crept to his cheeks in response.

"Let me treat you, for all the hard work you do for me...!" His excitable nature hadn't died, as once he received your approval through kisses, he was pushing you down into the counter, towering over your lowered frame. This form was unnaturally large, in that his hips met with the perfect edge of the counter, making it so easy to push yours into his.

"Gyokko-" "Try to relax, I just want to feel you out..." His talons danced along the cloth of your dress, before untangling any knot and leaving the silk falling to the counter, making a nice blanket for you from the cold surface.

His eyes devoured you whole, admiring every flash of skin he got access to, like a treat. Something about it was a carnal desire, something about it made tingles race through your back when his claws tread so dangerously along your collarbone, palm falling flat between your breasts and dragging down your stomach.

The webbing between his fingers made his touch feel so warm, so complete as his other hands joined to pull your waist towards his further, grinding a need you could feel against your undergarment.

You'd watch him mould clay for hours, but nothing compared to how he would mould you into him, pushing into every curve as if you were another pot.

Yet he treasured you more than anything else he had.

With one hand holding you down from the divot below your ribcage, the other held onto your hip, keeping you in place as his hips then began to push back and forth into yours, shooting what felt like pure electricity into you.

"My muse, I've been so down on inspiration. I could really use a pick-me-up!" He wasn't shy, speaking his thoughts aloud and he leant down, one mouth kissing you briefly and the other nibbling at your blushing cheek, leaving a small mark similar to a couple of freckles.

Anytime you tried opening your mouth, he hushed you with a kiss, grinding his hips back again. The scales on his forearms brushing into your skin as he did so, feeling almost slimey; though they left little residue.

You took that as your cue to quiet down and allow him to do the talking, only letting out a huff of hair that just barely gave off a whimper.

But Gyokko wasn't all that patient at times, especially when it was something he craved so deeply for. His cheeks burned online the coolness of the rest of his skin, which left him with this dumb smirk on his face.

Just like that, the hand on your hip slices a finger forward, cutting through the fabric of your underwear and letting them drop to the floor, useless for the time being. The same finger dipped deep into your folds, before pulling back to see the slick wetness drip down between your thighs. He had been grinding absentmindedly, but he planned to do something with a lot more intention.

One of your arms snapped up instinctively, but when it tried to cover your mouth, it only found his free hand had already made its way, muffling the needy call.

"Come on now, don't complain so soon...!"

A chilling tap caused your body to freeze, feeling something slither up your thigh before curling its end, then another, and another, until a thick 'plap' noise matched the falling of a coiling tentacle that landed on your stomach, slithering until it stretched its full length out to meet just above your belly button.

Gyokko had a lot more than anyone could anticipate, with several slime-covered tendrils feeling all about your heat as he let out an over-excited and broken exhale.

He was built...different.

"Try not to move too much, it only gets them needier."

Author Note - I KNOW I KNOW WE ALL HATE A CUT OFF I wrote so much more than I antipicated and it projected to like 3k words so I wanted to cut it at a sudden but satisfactory spot. Sorry for projecting onto your ask Anon but THANK YOU!!!

Word Count - 1,672

Art Credit - Miso

#gyokko #gyokko x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer oneshots #kny #kny x reader #kny oneshots #oneshot #reader insert #x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader

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thelyingjoke · 1 year

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something i’ve always found confusing is the way some people will criticize kokichi by saying “well if he REALLY hates murder why did he cause two deaths” when like…aren’t half the culprits in dr people who would’ve otherwise considered murder bad???

i think some people blow the significance of DICE’s no murder rule way out of proportion. it wasn’t a “oh kokichi would never in a million years ever consider murder, he’d be a strict pacifist 100% of the time no matter the situation, he wouldn’t ever hurt another person. this will never fail”. it was used to show that he wasn’t a remnant of despair—that despite everything, he wasn’t a mega evil person. he wasn’t a senseless killer, he had morals. normal morals, like killing is bad.

i don’t know if i’m really explaining this right, but for example let’s compare him with kaede. kaede, outside of the killing game, would’ve never even thought about murdering another person. when they’re first told about the game, she swears that she’d never participate in something like that. and yet she’s the first one to do so, because she feels like it’s the only thing she can do. and there are tons of examples of this aside from her—gonta, sayaka, teruteru, etc. the killing game takes good people and puts them in a horrible situation where they feel like they have to sacrifice their morals and do something they’d otherwise never do. (i’d also write a whole thing about kokichi/kaede parallels but that’d be getting sidetracked…if someone wants to hear about it i will)

and it’s kinda strange to me that people expect kokichi to be a special case? i mean, for the record, he did do his absolute best not to give into monokuma, and only caused miu’s death because she was going to kill him and he didn’t have many other options. gonta also has agency in this situation and was the one who agreed to kill miu. kokichi also felt so guilty about it he made himself the next victim. but only looking at the point that i mentioned at first, somehow to those people having a specific rule for his organization that murder isn’t allowed somehow means he’s supposed to stand by that more than other people that condemn murder? it makes sense why it’d be a rule—he runs a petty crime prankster group, and it’d be good to have regulations in place so that no one gets carried away. not liking murder is normal people behavior and he’s just as prone to emotional turmoil as everyone else

#i don’t know if i explained this properly #Kinda just wrote this down on a whim #but i’ve been thinking about this subject a lot lately #granted a lot of criticism from kokichi haters doesn’t make sense #you don’t have to like him ofc but they always make up reasons that have no grounding in canon???#so it always makes me wonder if we played the same game #danganronpa #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #bow rambles #analysis #kinda?#tagging it as that anyway

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shoppncarticles · 8 months

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Generation Five Retrospective

Generation 5 saw its release in 2010, releasing on the still active and highly successful Nintendo DS system, as Pokemon Black and White versions. They’d be sure to sell well, Pokemon never tends to come up short, but it’s possible the developers realized they couldn’t just reuse the same Pokemon format with the same sets of tried and true Pokemon and regional aesthetics. They’d technically be competing with themselves since Diamond and Pearl already existed on the system. So, Game Freak took a leap, and created a Generation almost wholly detached from the previous four.

Gen 5 as a whole was wildly unique for the time. Unova, its region, was the first in Pokemon’s main series to not be based on a region of Japan, and instead took its inspiration from New York City and its surrounding land, over in America. Gen 5 also saw the largest new introduction of Pokemon to date, a whopping 156, beating out even the original set of 151 from Gen 1. This was likely in part because Gen 5 restricted all available Pokemon during its main story to those new to the region, reserving all returning ‘mons for post-game areas and trainers.

That isn’t even to mention all the changes brought about by Gen 5 as well. Gen 5 introduced Seasons, allowing the overworld to change dynamically based upon the month you were playing in. It finally allowed TMs, items used to teach Pokemon moves, to become infinite use rather than limited to their quantity. Pokemon sprites finally animated during battle continuously rather than just on entry. HM usage was drastically toned back compared to Gen 4. Routes and caves were overall more streamlined, making for easier traversal while still offering several side paths and secret areas for players to explore or revisit once progressing further in the game. Even the experience system was optimized, to give players more EXP based upon the next major boss opponent, and softly plateauing them from overleveling past that. Pokemon Black and White would even be home to Pokemon’s strongest narrative yet (in my opinion), driving most of the game’s playthrough beyond just the need to Be a Pokemon Master, and giving the player character some actual stake in the story and villainous team rather than just being a trainer who was in the right place at the right time.

And man. People hated Gen 5 when it came out. Really, truly despised it. When I say ‘people,’ I mean extremely vocal old-school Pokemon fans online who played the games when they first released in Japan and had the benefit of driving most of the discussion before the rest of the world really got their hands on the games. What happened to old my old Pokemon, they decried. Where’s Pikachu and Charizard, how come all the new Pokemon are just bootleg repeats of old ones? Roggenrola? That’s just a worse Geodude! They seriously made a TRASH BAG and ICE CREAM Pokemon?! Man, Pokemon designers are creatively bankrupt. This game is awful.

Honestly I can’t fathom this mindset whatsoever. You can criticize Trubbish and Vanillite for ‘just’ being normal objects all you want, but that kind of thing has existed in literally every Pokemon generation. Geodude is just a rock, Sunflora is just a sunflower, Luvdisc is just a heart, Drifloon is just a balloon. And so what if Gen 5 has some repeated concepts among its roster? In real life there isn’t just one Horse or one Bat or one Stone. Pokemon like Roggenrola, Timburr, Woobat, Blitzle, and more follow similar ideas to their Gen 1 counterparts, but take them in different directions that helps flesh them out as more original, and often more creative, creatures. Roggenrola isn’t just a living rock, it’s an extreme troglobite that evolved without eyes and instead a central ear. Blitzle isn’t another flaming horse, but instead an electrical zebra, playing off the animal’s striped pattern, like how Ponyta may be a play on the term 'trailblazer.'

Even as a kid who grew up with Generations 2-4 before playing 5, I saw listings of the new Pokemon on sites like Serebii and were enamored by them, designs like Galvantula, Scrafty, and Chandelure instantly captivated me. Even seeing the conceptual repeats didn't bother me, because they were still new designs that were breaking the mold from the stuff that had been used for years prior. Gen 5 felt different. It felt fresh.

I’m not the one who made this observation first, but I think the reason why people got so angry with this new Pokemon roster is that they were forced to use ‘mons they hadn't seen before, and couldn't fall back on familiar ones they understood. They couldn't just box whatever starter they were required to pick up and use a Gyarados and Pidgeot like they always had, and being forced to use new Pokemon made those players hate them just out of principle.

On one hand, I kinda get it, it may feel claustrophobic to have to use Pokemon you don't like because no other options exist. Personally though, this is more or less how I try to experience every Generation, at least the first time I play them. I want to at least give the new guys a chance to prove themselves, and on my first playthroughs I always use that Generation's newbies, and don't fallback on what I already know. After all, the rest of the Generation, its locations, its characters, and more are all new and unfamiliar, so why shouldn't the Pokemon be also? I'd love it if every new Generation was like Unova, forcing you to start fresh with all-new Pokemon, but such a philosophy would require a plethora of new design work to be done at Game Freak that just isn't practical with these games' rigid development paces. It makes Black and White all the more special, I guess.

Even beyond just the new Pokemon, Gen 5 is great in nearly all its aspects. Unova sets itself apart from previous regions by its large, flashy urban expanses and varied landscapes, combining both Hoenn's strong suits and improving upon Kanto's larger cities. Something about Unova and Gen 5 as a whole still feels incredibly modern and up-to-date for me, even over a decade after its release. Maybe it's to do with several cities' fascinations with high-tech machinery and glowing neon lighting, or all the merchandise and promotional material using sleek hexagonal black-and-white grids as backdrops for all their art.

Gen 5's also where Pokemon's got its strongest story, in my opinion. As I previously mentioned it feels like the first time the player character actually matters to the narrative, even if they're still a silent protagonist that doesn't really give input on the events that happen. Still, your Pokemon journey is given a little more context and stakes, being that you've got to beat your main rival N - who also happens to be the ruler of the local villainous organization Team Plasma - from reaching the Pokemon League and becoming the Champion, and commanding trainers across the region to give up their Pokemon, separating the connections between people and Pokemon and making both groups as distant as the colors black and white - ha. I won't give an extremely detailed plot summary - these articles are supposed to be on Pokemon designs rather than the games as a whole - but I still think it deserved mention since, alongside the strength of the new designs, such large improvements on Pokemon's general presentation and content is what makes me like Gen 5 so much all these years later.

Oh man, I didn't even get to Black 2 and White 2 yet, the first games since Gold and Silver to be direct sequels, and the first to be set in the same region. They add so much to to the Unovan experience, expanding the region with new locations and content, adding stuff like Pokestar Studios and the Pokemon World Tournament (where you can fight every previous Gym Leader and Champion in tourney brackets!!), adding old Pokemon back into the main game's areas, piling on even more post-game content to do after the credits roll, and a plethora of new and helpful UI and QoL changes. As I said before, these aren't meant to be gameplay critiques or anything, but at least come away from this article knowing that I think Black 2 and White 2 are the strongest games in the series by a wide margin.

With ALL THAT preamble out of the way, let's wrap things up in summation. Gen 5 is an extremely strong way to reinvigorate Pokemon's core style and aesthetic, and gave us a wide helping of unique, creative, and dynamic designs, and even those that retread on concepts already portrayed in the series, usually did so with a new angle or creative spark that helps them to stand separate. It was a great way to usher in a new 'era,' of Pokemon, and did an excellent job wrapping up the first, coincidentally also being the last Pokemon game portrayed in classic 2D.

I haven't tallied it up myself, but I think this Generation has the strongest density of S-B ranks of all Gens so far, wildly impressive considering its size.

My Personal Favorites

Despite all my heaping praises for this Generation, picking my top six is actually pretty easy. Then again, that's due in part to just how much I've thought about it and how much I love all these little freaks, and the ones residing at the top of my list have remained unchanged for quite a while. The newest addition though is Eelektross, who I already like a good deal before writing the reviews but found a lot of new appreciation for once getting to its article. Honorable mentions also go out to Samurott (I still like Dewott better, sorry!), Jellicent, Volcarona, Reuniclus, Leavanny, and more. There were a ton of S Ranks this time around. I could honestly make a top twelve favorites if I really wanted to...

My All-Time Favorites

And would you look at that! Wow! Four additions to my top 10! That's unprecedented! Gen 4 and even 3 only had an impact of three 'mons! Gen 5's just that good, I guess. I should mention, for the record, as time goes on my appreciation for Porygon-Z continues to grow, so consider it tied with Eelektross, just tucked off to the side out of frame.

My Black/White Team

At least in the in-game playthroughs I can show some of my other favorites some love, so let's all give appreciation to the other star members that didn't get included in the Top 6. But wait - where are my other favorites?

My Black 2/White 2 Team

There they are. Usually I don't include two separate teams depending on a game's slightly different versions, but Black/White 1 are pretty substantially different to Black/White 2, so I wanted to give both games some team compositions for fun.

The Coolest

This was THE Generation for radical Dark types - they're even more chock-full of character and badass prowess than normal. Even besides those, you've got real slick heavy hitters like the scarred, sharp-bladed Excadrill and eerily beautiful Chandelure as well. Coolest Gen 5 'mons is another category I could do twice over, but I'll spare you the excess listings.

The Cutest

Another tough contest. Most of these are pretty safe picks, I feel like anyone with a heart will agree on these guys' cuteness, but I also had to give Roggenrola a chance in the spotlight too. YES, I find the little rock pebble cute. Is that so WRONG.

The Most Creative

All those no-fun fuddy-duddies who say Gen 5 is when Game Freak ran out of ideas clearly have no idea what they're talking about. I'm sorry the Nazca-line sentry drone and shedded-skin hoodlum lizard don't tickle your inspirational bone, maybe you just need to expand your palette or something.

Also yes, I put Garbodor on my list of most creative designs. I honestly think the idea of a shambling garbage monster with an exposed rebar skeleton and squirting nozzle-fingers is quite the interesting and special design, SORRY.

My Least Favorites

I struggled to fill this one out. Besides Landorus and the monkeys, I had to go back and check what 'mons I really disliked. Pignite is kinda stretch, I'm perfectly willing to accept its existence but definitely wish it could've been better.

Also yeah, sorry elemental monkey fans, I'm still not big on them. It's nice that you like them, I'm glad they have their fans. Still not for me though.

Gen 5 in a Nutshell

In my mind, Gen 5 has several iconic Pokemon, but I think when you really get down to the nitty gritty and consider all the advertising and promotional material, these are the six that best represent what this region's got on offer, and all six are pretty strong, noteworthy designs. They've got everything, from impressive elegance, to cute charm, and appealing cool factors. And Trubbish, who's there because it's delightful and what everyone thinks of when Gen 5 comes up in discussion. I'm NOT saying Gen 5 is trash. I LIKE Trubbish and do honestly think it represents the region's feel, in a way.

Gen 1 Parallel Hall of Fame

For better or for worse, as I've stated a dozen times before, Gen 5 is well known for its repeat of Gen 1 concepts and ideas, but most of the time the end product is a pretty charming and interesting retooling of the core idea. Seen above are the six I feel do the best jobs with the ideas they're revisiting. I wouldn't say all of them are explicitly superior to their originals, but all are at least successful at standing apart and being unique, fresh designs based on old concepts.

Well, that does it then. Gen 5's all wrapped up and finished. It felt nice revisiting all these designs, putting into words what I really loved about all my favorites, and finding what I appreciated from the more unlikely specimen. I really do think Gen 5 is the best Pokemon's ever gotten... which also means that it's kinda all downhill from here. Oops. It's not all bad, the next two Generations have got some real good stuff I'm looking forward to talking about. So, always... stay tuned! There's always more where this comes from.

[Gen 5 Archive]

#pokemon #pokemon review #gen 5 #pokemon bw #pokemon bw2 #retrospective

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p-taryn-dactyl · 6 months

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rant!

ok so basically

my roommate told me that she and her summer bridge roommate are thinking about moving into a dorm together this semester, bc the summer roommate is having problems with her current roommate. now normally, i would be fine bc i think myself a nice person, however... this just brings up all my complaints that i had tried to keep quiet about

one, she is the one who insisted on bringing the fridge and microwave from her home so we wouldnt have to rent it (she'll be taking those with her and btw we're only allowed one fridge and microwave per room)

this really isn't a major complaint but she's a recent turned vegan and makes it seem like such a disability and that she's 'helping the world' by being vegan. i get it if it's a health thing or religious but just because you chose to not have the joy of real cheese doesn't mean you're oppressed bbg

adding on to the previous point, ig since she brought the fridge she thinks that she needs to use every. inch. of space of it. like this girl buys entire shelves of food from the store and gets confused when i say i couldn't fit my lunch for the next day in there. like yes, you did bring the fridge (bc you insisted) but these things are supposed to be 50/50 arrangments

she also takes up like 75% of the room. im glad i chose to loft my bed bc now my desk in under there and my drawers but if i hadn't, we would have a major problem. she brought what feels like her whole room plus a few items. i thought i had overpacked but guys, she has so much shit. her desk is covered in things bc she doesn't have a place to put them after already using most of the "shared" storage she brought (and told me not to worry about bc before move in i had expressed just normally fears of moving in)

she has a giant fucking scooter that takes up even more space, keep in mind our room isn't exactly the biggest. and i already have a vendetta againts people who ride bikes and scooters around campus. i do understand that it's easier and for some, a stressless way of getting to class, but when the sidewalk is packed with students walking and you push through on your bike or scooter i want to scream.

she's also like never in the room bc of being with her bf so im stuck in the room cleaning everything that SHE BROUGHT and when she is in the room, she makes offhanded comments about where i put my stuff (i keep everything i own in my little area, and yes sometimes it gets messy but i literally have no space)

and she never really uses all these things she brought??

this is just me lol but im super sensitive to smell and her food, when she makes microwave food, smells horrible and lingers. you might think im being dramatic but guys ive literally thrown up bc of the smell

this is weird: she firmly believes that catholics aren't christian? that led to me trying to explain the history behind abrahamic reglions and the different secs of christianity but she just brushed me off with a "i know an ex-catholic who said they're not christian"

has severe only child syndrome

now, if (probably when) she moves out, she'll be taking everything she brought with her

since she moved in before me bc of her summer program, idk how much space she truly takes up but ik that she's taking the fridge, the dehumidifier, the microwave, the 'shared' storage drawers, the filtered shower head (i bought the sink one), a lot of the cleaning supplies that she insisted on bringing bc she only uses 'sustainable' products, the big trash can that i said i would buy but when i was at the store she texted me and said she already bought one, and our 'shared' water filter

side note: she was always comparing me to her summer roommate, sometimes to the point that one of my friends had to tell her to stop bc i was visibly uncomfortable

and ik it sounds like i hate her and that im just being bitchy, but we are friendly it's just i don't think she's self-aware of a lot of things.

also, last thing: she makes being from texas her entire personality. i genuinely believe she doesn't know that texas is bigger than most european countries with how much she generalizes it's population

i lied, this is the last thing: she mentions a lot how "she's not like the basic girls" which irks me

ok 'rant' over! ik i sound like a bitch and im sorry but i wanted to get this all off my chest.

idk if anyone will have questions but if you do, i'll answer them lol

#taryn talks #rant #probably will delete later

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rosiewitchescottage · 4 months

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Stephen Fry Addresses The Nation | Channel 4 Alternative Christmas Message

I don’t normally bother with this ‘Alternative Christmas Message’. The Queen, or now The King’s Speech has always been enough for me. Quaint, old fashioned thing that I am.

But this is Stephen Fry. And I’d happily listen to him read The Telephone Directory, with his ‘...vocal cords made of tweed.’

I’m delighted to hear him out here as well. I already know he’s Jewish as much as I know he’s gay.

I recall him mentioning that his mother’s family have Ashkenazi heritage. I think it was when he was talking about Wagner’s Ring Cycle. And, if I’ve heard this correctly. Jewish blood on the maternal side makes one a Jew too.

It hasn’t surprised me to hear antisemitism from The Far Left, because it’s been so prevalent from The Far Right, and the two are both sides of the same bad penny. It was only a matter of the opportune moment for the hate to show itself. *

We can mourn and criticise the appalling death toll brought about by Israel’s response to the Oct 7th Massacre by Hamas. In fact, we should.

In war, civilian casualties should be avoided as much as humanly possible. But, they do still happen, and we shouldn’t accept them as ‘just one of those things’. People are losing their lives, and Life is Sacred.

At the same time, what Hamas did on Oct 7th was terrorism, it was murder, it was brutal. Worse still, they took pleasure and pride in the act. There’s video evidence of it.

And they make no secret of their desire to kill Jews. Israel had every right to respond to such evil. Nothing on this earth justified it.

Palestinians should get their own land, a secure and safe place to call home. Yes, yes, yes.

But. Jews should also get to call The Land of Israel their home too. It stretches back in the history of their People. The Land of Judea is filled with historical evidence of being the Jewish home. It was taken from them, they didn’t merely leave it behind.

And I’ve heard Jews say at Pesach (aka Passover) ‘Next Year In Jerusalem.’

Generations of Palestinians have lived in parts of the country, and yes. I say they should be able to keep doing so. That’s fair enough.

But is it really so difficult for two sides to find a way to establish a Palestinian State and The Jewish State of Israel?

From what I’ve seen on maps. What’s called Israel is such a tiny areas, compared with The Middle East as a whole.

Yes. I’m naive. I don’t understand what’s going on. And it’ll be way too complex for me to have any chance of doing so.

But I can understand that Palestinians should have their own independent, secure home.

And Jews should be free to call Israel home, without being demonised for it.

* (Yes. I have the same non tolerance for anti Muslim hatred. I won’t say ‘Islamophobia’, because religions are sets of ideas, and any set of idea should be open to scrutiny and criticism when need be.

Hate against those who practice any faith, in this case Muslims = those who practice Islam. That’s another matter entirely. It’s never OK.

Yes. We can and should expect that anyone using their faith to spread hate is dealt with by the law. We have hate preachers infesting the UK’s mosques. That should not be allowed to continue.

But the many muslims who are our neighbours, our schoolmates, our work colleagues and our friends. They should be safe and secure to live their faith in the UK, because freedom of religion is important to us and should always be so.)

#youtube

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pbandjesse · 10 months

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Jess is here!! It's so nice to have her sleeping in the living room. Today had so many parts. It was a good day.

I slept alright last night. Falling asleep felt rough but didn't take to long. Waking up was not fun but I was alright, just tired.

James was there. I love them so much. They got us in the car on time and had little shorts on and got me breakfast. They are the best.

We got to the market after picking up breakfast and it was a pretty easy set up. I was just tired and it was hot. There would be a nice break at some points but when there was no breeze the heat sucked.

It was surprisingly busy. Like really busy. Me and Ann decided it was because it was going to be hotter, and also raining, later.

But this did not transfer into sales. This was my worst day this season, only selling one keychain for $10. And I know some of it is I was tired and sitting, sitting never leads to good sales. But I did stand a lot of the time!! I was sewing, finishing 3 bears. And getting fluffies literally everywhere.

There was some drama. A vender blocking everyone with their car and being annoyed when they were asked to move. Our community interest was trying to get a bill on the ballot about giving people who just had new babies $1000 to act as poverty prevention. And a terrible old bitch yelled in the nice girls face!! About immigrants for some reason?? Just a horrible bitch. I told on her to Ann and she followed her out so she could yell at them again. It was bizarre. And upset me.

We also had the jazz band. And me and James got a bunch of baked goods. Which I would eat to much of later and hurt my belly. But it's fine. They were good. The music was a little loud but at least it was good music.

I was a little discouraged by my bad sales but I also was to tired to really care. Bob came out to talk to me and I made him laugh really big when I explained about my arthritis and that my body is a disaster. When I said that he threw his head back laughing.

It would start storming really bad though right after noon. I felt terrible for the people in the parking lot. The rain would start blowing sideways and came right onto my table. I went out and stood in it to cool down and brought the trash cans in so they didn't get full of water. Which Stanley thanked me for.

I did get my feelings hurt though. I got my blood results in and I compared them to last month and the normal range on the papers, my liver numbers went from 138 to 48 (normal being 35 so we're getting closer), but my glucose was at 113. Which puts me in a prediabetic range. Which really really worried me. So I was like okay what do you eat to help with reversing prediabetes and it's apparently low carb. Which sucks because I love carbs. But I got my feelings hurt when I filled out a thing to get tailored menus needed height and weight and stuff and when I put that in it came up with big red letters that I was extremely obese and needed to lose 12lbs a month and I was just so sad. I don't feel extremely obese. Like. I feel pretty good overall. I would like to get back down to my healthiest weight, but I just felt so sad being called that, even if it was just a website.

In the camp group chat there was a complaint I didn't give them glue or scissors for their banners. And I was just like. None of you returned them, I gave you 12 scissors and now they are gone. I then said that CJ was allowed to go get some from my building but only CJ. She would text me privately and said she was able to find scissors in the office and would only take glue. Which was fine! I really don't mind giving them all materials but if they are never going to return them I'm gonna leave stuff out every time. Next time it's markers because my crappier markers are now basically all gone. I hate how wasteful some of them are. Just no regard for keeping materials for as long as they can be used. They aren't one time use guys! Ugh.

I would finished up the day very glad to go home. The rain has left and it was just really hot again. I loaded up the car. Went in to hug James. And headed home.

Jess has just told me that she had left her house and was heading to me. Which was excellent. I told her I would go home and sleep for an hour. And I did just that.

When I got back here I fixed the air conditioner since James installed the living room one this morning. I got my quilting board to put in the gap next to it and covered it with fabric. And would try to pin more things in the other windows. It still struggled to get cool in here which made me annoyed.

I would spend a few minutes cloroxing surfaces and then vacuuming a bunch. Just so much cat hair.

I took a quick shower and went to lay down.

It wouldn't be as long of a nap as I wanted but it was still good. But when my alarm went off at 330 I had a text form Jess 6 minutes before that she was 15 minutes away.

And it was almost dead on with her texting me her arrival 8 minutes later. It took me a second to get dressed again and try to shake off how woozy I was. But it wouldn't shake off and it was so bright and hot outside. I was not happy about this. But I was happy to see her. I stood in the shade across the street until she came over.

We went upstairs and we ate the chips and guacamole I got us. We opened our calico critters blind bags. I added my new little babies (I got Katie who was what I wanted, and the special mystery one which was a mouse with an afro??) And she caught me up on stuff. I wanted a full photo tour of her new house and she even had a hand drawn floor plan. It really seems so wonderful and I'm so happy for her. There is work to be done but it's so exciting. I'm going in August to see it and help her. I'm nervous!! My best friends first house!! So stinking cool.

James would come home soon and get details bout the house and how the mortgage process is going and she gave us some tips and advice. And I showed her the area were looking and some houses we've liked. I also filled her in on camp drama and all that nonsense. Which she was shocked about, not all of it but some of it is truly wild.

James was doing laundry. And we decided that at 630 we would go to R house. I put on the romper outfit seen above, which I loved and felt so cool in. Layering the striped tank top under was such a good move. And we would head out.

I introduced Jess to Hot Mulligan and she immediately, almost after the first note, started laughing and was like why does this sound like every song I know but I've never heard it before. We have agreed it sounds like being 15 again.

James drove us to R house. There was a free library box and I got a Richard Scarry book and one about knitting. That one is written in such a lovely style. And it was a Christmas gift from 1972, and also had a hand written pattern in the back!! I may never actually use the patterns in the book but I love that it exists and I think I'll actually read it just because I love how it's written so much.

Funny enough we all decided to try the new Egyptian street food place. And we all got the same thing. Falafel and potato with pickled vegetables. We each got different sauces. Taziki, whipped garlic (something I haven't been able to find since chick p city closed by my old apartment), hummus, baba ganoush , a spicy thing! It was so fun to try them all and really it was a fun meal.

We got mini scoops of overpriced ice cream next. Me and Jess got roasted strawberry and James got key lime. And once James was done eating theirs we went back to the car.

We got back here and me and Jess would hang in the living room. James tried to show us a new game but we didn't understand and we're both a little to tired to power through figuring it out. I was glad James was with us though.

Eventually they would go in the other room to work on editing. And Jess and me would go through some of her Pinterest boards for the house and talk about ideas and aesthetics. It was fun.

We would have another snack and I shouldn't have actually. I wasn't hungry at all but she wanted her snack so I wanted too but it really hurt my stomach and I'm still hurting literally hours late. Which sucks. It kind of drained my energy in the worst way.

Jess would make up the couch for her bed and I came to lay flat in here for a while. She came in to get a charger from my bag of cords. And soon she was in her jammies.

Tomorrow we are going to go to Golden West for brunch. Then to second chance to look for more inspo. Then maybe some errands for the week. I am not sure when she's going home but I'm excited to spend the day together.

I got washed and changed and now we are in bed and I have been struggling to get this done because I am real tired. But I hope that just means I sleep real good.

Sleep well everyone. I love you all

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realhankmccoy · 2 years

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typical millennials fire from any angle just like Trump would, not realising that you can’t land a blow when you don’t even take time to understand the target 🎯 and so what’s really happening is they’re telling a story of their own lack of principle and careless destruction wrought on good people in society.

this one, who was wearing a repulsive Pikachu onesie, shames me because In his manipulation I’m a ‘dishonest’ (lol) man and I’m ‘not even sure I’m gay’ (lol)— at the same time he tells me he hates gay culture and refuses to go to gay bars. Ah, kid, don’t you realize you can’t shame the candle from both ends? At least pick one so you look like an adult rather than a crazy hateful fuck.

basically since I was 20x physically hotter by conventional American standards and he was insecure, he expected me to tell him NO instead of engaging for 5 minutes. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. His body would have been fine. I like stumpy and dumpy balding dudes. I don’t like asshole control freaks who simultaneously play the victim of life. Mini Trump has gotten into people and Mini Trump has to come out if they want to make themselves tolerable again.

also what planet are these kids on that they can’t even rationally process the universe in 4th grade ways? Match.com is not a ‘straight’ site as he assets, and if the Christian religion of the owners is indeed true and an issue for him, I would think maybe he should be boycotting a lot more product lines than simply Match.com. That’s the sort of ‘problem’ a Millennial invents for itself tho. ‘Sorry Romeo, I simply can’t bear to meet you online as I have a meltdown over how somewhere up the food chain of this product line and this product line only, a few people might be into a 2 thousand year old religion that Marilyn Manson decided to destroy while I was still shitting my diaper… better luck next time oh woe is Me woe is Me, poor me as the Juliet of Monroe, WI… the Juliet who does not allow ‘mouth to anal’ ever!!!! Kids, gays have done that for ages, try it at least once ok? Love, Hank.

also kids, if you can’t bear a product line with somewhere totally invisible to you, Christian owners are involved — that’s what’s called a 1st world problem, not a ‘I have the hardest life in the universe cuz I live in Monroe WI and you donnnnt understanddddd how awful my life is here I’m only attracted to the straight guys…..’ as he put it.

Scruff is not a ‘primarily dating’ app as he asserts. I need to stop being so nice to these kids and inform that that ‘gay dating / exclusively for relationships!!!’ As he was is practically nonexistent in America compared to the normal behavior patterns.

but nope, all the exclusively for relarionships websites don’t cater to his sense of danger and easy access narcissism, so he hopes to shame everyone on Scruff into ‘only dating’.

Why can’t my generation get a grip on reality instead of lying as they try to manipulate it for their own narrow desires?

kids, you can’t shame me if you’re basically pointing to a yellow crayon, asserting that it is blue, and expect me to feel shame at how I thought it was yellow. You just look like child idiots. This was the problem with Chicago boi too, who was at least much more developed as a writer and consumer of product than this slop from Monroe, WI. You have to understand reality if you expect to command reality, but here’s an obvious thought — your desire for the temporary gratification and power that comes with command and control is why your understanding isnt there.

I never wanted to command and control. I just wanted to learn and understand. Because I have learning and understanding, these grody attempts to command and control me from ignoramuses with seriously narcissistic souls — they don’t work, it’s not even that I want to ‘win’… it’s like looking at toddlers and wondering how crazy this child is for thinking it is gonna tell me that work is accomplished in the adult realm by flushing a banana down the toilet and then running around screaming that I’m the bad man.

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s0leander · 6 months

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Boyfriend Material - Alexis Hall (2020)

This book has been compared to Red, White and Royal Blue on a few occasions in book circles, and frankly I do not understand how anyone would come to that conclusion. Everything about this book reads like a bad fanfiction or roleplay session someone wrote when they were twelve. From the one dimensional stereotypical characters, to the confusing prose (if you can even call it that at this point) the tired tropes and idea soup, it is more similar to an old "crack fic" you'd find on fanfiction.net.

The writing itself is bland and often confusing when it isn't downright boring. Thoughts that aren't spoken aloud are written in quotations right next to things that are said out loud. Two characters share a name (James Royce-Royce) with no distinction between the two in scenes where they both have dialogue. It's atrocious and- while I don't wish to rain on anyone's parade -I cannot fathom how this book has so much praise. Did all our brain cells collectively die out before we could review it or did people simply put the book down and walk away, trying to will it from our minds? There seems to be more focus on the comedic aspect of the book that I almost want to think that Alexis Hall wrote this in order to troll us all.

Let's start with Luc O'Donnell, our all-too-angsty protagonist who is reminiscent of a teenager with severe self worth and mental health issues. If an asshole is aware that they are an asshole does that make them any less of one or more of an asshole? If I had to answer in the case of Luc I'd easily choose the latter. He spends most of the book hating himself, making crude jokes, being an all around nightmare to be around, and talking to the reader as opposed to interacting with the man he apparently falls in love with. Luc's also the son of two 80's rockstars, I guess? His father walked out on them as a child which is most of what he bases his dreadful personality on. It's also a major plot point at one time in the book all the way up until it isn't anymore with no real climax or denouement, which is quite unfortunate because if this book had any depth at all it would have been interesting but that is sort of the theme with Boyfriend Material.

Oliver Blackwood is the only saving grace of this book (for the most part). He's a lot like if a singular normal person with far too much patience was put on a reality TV show with the most ridiculous people you've ever met. The stark contrast between him and all the other characters gives me whiplash at the very best of times. His vast vocabulary proves that Hall can write somewhat interesting sentiments without using yassified dated internet terminology and simply chooses not to.

All of the characters, specifically Luc's friends, some form of stereotype and have no real value in the story aside from taking up space and doing whatever Luc needs them to do for him at any given time. All of his friends have somewhat elaborate backstories that are never really expanded upon beyond getting mentioned every now and again in passing. He often ignores other characters unless he can get something out of it or needs something from them (this briefly changes and then continues on subtly) and only hyper fixates on Oliver because he can instead base his worth on a man which is inherently toxic. Luc's boss is every stereotype of a person on the autism spectrum thrown into one. The list goes on.

The vast majority of this book consists of one character being awful to everyone around him, especially the man he supposedly fancies while the latter just allows it to go on. There's no real pining, no significant conflict, no relationship building or anything to denote a true enemies to lovers arc or even a strangers to lovers arc. There is no build up to their relationship, it simply spawns up out of seemingly nowhere after Luc spends a good chunk of the book being in half assed denial about his feelings and Oliver just continues to be a semi-regular guy who's just sort of along for the ride. Why in the world is this book 400+ pages aside from the fact that the author clearly picked several ideas out of a hat and just ran with it, stringing it along together as they went?

I'm not even going to get started on how and why this book is problematic because the one star reviews before mine have done a fantastic job of illustrating that point. The concept is intriguing but the overall story felt like one long slow walk towards nothing and I am genuinely glad that it's over.

#fiction #romance #queer #book review #review #i don't mean to drag it but man #come on #bad books #book #things that shouldn't have sequels #pandemic publish #boyfriend material #alexis hall #luc o'donnell #oliver blackwood #queer romance #lgbt #crossposted from goodreads #m/m

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sowwidc · 11 months

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Something, something autobio

I am secretly a spy.

Well, not so secret anymore now that I’ve told you. But before we get through with the details, an introduction should be customary. I could go on and give you the most common autobiography there is out there, but I’m not here to waste your time. Although I am not saying that this would be the best, it is just something that required me to call upon the Gods of productivity to accomplish. Well, anyway, I am Clarence, most people just call me. . . . Clarence. Well, come to think of it, I’ve grown fond of being called by my surname rather than my given one. Some would try to give me nicknames like, Rence, or Clar, but I never really quite got the hang of it. It’s weird but I don’t hate it.

I am 18 years into this ever changing world, plagued by the constant thought of adulthood creeping in behind me, preparing to take me by surprise whenever I am not paying attention. I am a transplanted Caviteño, hailing originally all the way from Quezon City. I am in a well-enough place, not much finances but enough to go around the extended family of a small subdivision home. As a part of a large family, being around people became “normal“ for me. However, it wasn’t THE “normal” I am willing to accept even now.

I have always been academically-inclined, with constant honor rolls throughout Elementary until High School. Although there were years that just weren't mine, I knew I still had to go on and excel better the next opportunity I’ll have. During my enrollment in high school, I vividly remember how the registrar attendee painted their emotions on their face. I’d quite describe it as “O.O”, or for those of you who aren’t familiar with the PC terms, she was shocked. It was an unexpected reaction, even leading me to think my grades were subpar with that amount of emotions she displayed. But alas, I got an offer for a special program for Junior High — no, not that kind of “special” for people with special needs — But a class with a different curriculum from those of the regulars. Literally “specials” if you ask me, but no one would want to admit that. Anyhow, our classes were of the same level as that of our seniors. We discussed lessons that were advanced for someone our age, hence our teachers must qualify as Masters before they were allowed to teach in our class. Of course, being in that section wasn’t breezy. It was a pressurized chamber. Forcing us, molding us, pressuring us to be role models for the school. Pressures were high, the heat was up (figuratively and literally, the school couldn’t afford air conditioning), and expectations soared through the sky. We managed, formed bonds with each other, and conquered every challenge. “Gold” as we were compared to — a beauty formed by the pressures of the Earth (also our section’s name from seventh to tenth year). We shone, and that was all people could see, and yet we didn’t mind. We had to live by our moniker.

The pandemic came and went. It changed everything. Taught me everything, showed me who I am, my responsibilities in life. For years I have longed for isolation. And now that it’s finally within my grasp, I wasn’t able to handle it. I was lonely, and it didn’t help that I got forcefully stuck in Cavite because of the lockdowns. The initial plan of a 2-week visit to my older sister in Dasmariñas, became a 2-and-more years of stay. Thankfully though, I am now in a much better place.

Coming through Senior High School, life went abreeze . . . a bit. Of course, most of the lessons I had were already familiar to me, giving me an advantage over my peers. But if you knew me personally, you’d know I’d have forgotten half of those discussions already. Friends were something I had trouble defining, but fortunately not anymore in my senior years. Some might say I am indistinguishable from my past life, and indeed I am. I have learned, nurtured myself, fixed my wrongs, and learned from my mistakes.

Now, you might be wondering, “how long until this guy tells me about his experience as a spy”? — Short answer, right now. Long answer, Riiiiiggghhhtt nooowww. Kidding aside, spies are masters of disguise — they adapt, they quickly learn, and observe their surroundings — much like how I survived this world. I have learned to adapt to new situations, adjusted myself to fit and understand my surroundings. New horizons aren’t my weakness, I strive to find them, I strive to learn them. I venture to new territories to provide intel to my comrades (a.k.a myself), and I communicate with locals as if I am their own blood. But the problem with being a spy is, you sometimes forget your past, you forget your home, the ones you have left behind. But you start embracing your new one, eventually being fooled by your own disguise as well. A couple of stops would remind me of the footprints I have left behind and the stories it told about where I am now.

Something I learned, be a secret spy — tough, strong, adapting, unpredictable. But also be yourself — unique, understanding, resilient, and “Golden”.

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biblicallyaccurateandrogynoussex · 1 year

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now allow me to fill you in on our cast of characters, all with a healthy dose of found family. (note that if i say a sexuality or anything of that sort its likely a headcanon, this show was made in like the 80s or 90s)

Captain Benjamin Sisko: human. he's like. the only one on this show who isn't some flavor of queer. he's the supportive ally and also very dadcoded (but also has like. an actual son. his name is jake and someone compared me to him once). sisko is in charge of the station! he calls all the shots and is also apparently part bajoran god? he also really likes baseball! one time (in the middle of space war) he taught all his senior officers how to play baseball so he could be petty and win against some dude he didnt like.

Colonel Kira Nerys: bajoran! she's definitely lesbian. she also used to be a terrorist, but now she's second in command! shes got a very queer relationship with the science officer, jadzia dax. her character is really fun. she's technically not a part of starfleet, since she still works for bajor, and that means she gets to bend the rules a little bit. she's stubborn, and her temper can run a bit high, which provides for a contrast with sisko. canonically, shes with odo, and their relationship is the most boring EVER except for when they got together that was so fucking funny

Doctor Julian Bashir: MY SKRUNKLY!!!! he's just a human guy but he's genetically modified because his parents are ableist! he's definitely autistic, transgender, AND bisexual. and when he was a kid, he was special needs, and learned very slowly, and his parents HATED that so they illegally turned him into a super human intelligence wise (and BECAUSE it's illegal, he hides this for most of the series). he aslo CANNOT stop committing medical malpractice and flirting with his patients its awful. hes got a Very Very Homoeroitc relationship with one Elim Garak, who refers to him consistently as "my dear doctor" (they're clearly fucking).

Chief Miles O'Brien: human, literally just some guy, goes through The Horrors regularly. i wish i could remember some of the shit the writers put him through because they do him SO dirty every time there is an episode centered around him. he's the maintenance guy and he technically isnt even an official officer. he was also on a previous show, star trek: the next generation. he's got a wife and kids and a Weird relationship with bashir. theyve at least explored each others bodies.

Jadzia Dax: i forgot her rank. actually. but she;s trill! the trill are weird because there are the PEOPLE and then there are the worms (symbiotes or however its spelled) and you can choose to get joined with a worm or not. jadzia is joined so shes got a shit ton of memories of like 7 other people (kinda systemcore /projecting) and she's best friends with sisko. she's the science officer and canonically gets with worf. they get married, their relationship is... interesting? she's very fun tho, shes got tons of skills from her worms knowledge and she regularly wins at gambling.

(THERE ARE MORE IM SENDING ANOTHER ASK AND PRAYING THIS ONE DOESNT GET EATEN)

I love the comments on how some of these guys have explored each other's bodies. Also we love queer coded guys and system coded guys. Obsessed with their names they're like so normal but to the left

#starry star trek series

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esresblog · 1 year

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Since I am going through one, I'm going to write about how depressive episodes feel for me. I had been feeling recently like I was faking everything again; this happens to me pretty often. I never feel like anything I'm going through is real, I always think that I'm just a horrible person who wants to trick people into pitying me for mental issues I don't have. However, I've been trying not to feel this way by going on that one fake disorder subreddit, just to see people being morons and uploading it online. I feel way better this way, cause I realize that they are so much worse than anything I could ever be.

It's just that, well, even though I've went through three different therapists and a psychiatrist, they all put excuses like "you don't want to know your diagnosis" or "I'm not allowed to tell you" etc. Which I think it's really stupid, because one of the worst triggers for me was feeling like no suffering would ever be enough, and that usually led to me sabotaging my life and emotions more to feel like I deserve to be miserable. That's not really healthy and I've been told it's a trauma symptom on itself, yet nobody seems interested on helping me with these doubts.

I did get a person once that had generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder next to my anorexia nervosa diagnosis, so that's when I really felt like I could claim that I actually have them, yet even that makes me feel like it wasn't enough and I'm tricking professionals now. I hate myself.

Anyway. I think a couple of people were curious about my thought process and everything, so I was going to write about my depressive episodes or triggers and that weird shit. I mean, it's nothing special really? They aren't really as bad as they go because I'm forced to go to school, shower, etc., and I still do, but when it hits me that hard it's genuinely so painful. It's the most soul breaking feeling I've ever experienced, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I don't really know how to put it but it feels like everything is crumbling around me. Like my head is too heavy for me to carry, my arms can't really be lifted and my legs just want to give up and bring me down to the floor. I've never experienced such pain on my heart as when I'm deep into one of these; my chest literally aches and burns and I can feel it all the way up my throat. I can barely speak or I'll break down, I'm shaking and trembling, my teeth are applying pressure on my mouth, my face is pale and my eyebags are even darker than normally. It's like I get the life sucked out of me. I feel like a broken porcelain doll whose skin has been cracked and whatever is inside of it is leaking out. I don't want to do anything. I don't even want to play my comfort games, or draw or anything. If I ever do, it's usually to try to distract me from the bad thoughts that always tag along.

But usually I have no energy; I can almost feel my brain rotting and melting and dying for those days / weeks / months. All I do is lay in bed, lock my body over my cushion or plushies, listen to sad music so I can get some tears out and cry bitterly while I try not to be heard. I can't even begin to express how bad it gets sometimes, I swear I feel like it's not only a mental illness but also a physical one. It weakens me like a fever and even getting up to go to the bathroom is such a big effort, comparable to any annoying quest in the hardest video games. That is, if my parents didn't already scream at me to do the things I hate, and didn't get mad at me when I look sad. Because studying or going to class while feeling like your soul is crumbling into pieces is not really nice, to say the least.

So to fix that little problem that only makes everything worse, I always end up acting like it's all just fine and I just feel a bit physically sick. Since they know that my physical body isn't really the healthiest either they always buy it. But it's so hard to keep the emotions act up, and just appearing happy around others just so they don't make you feel more miserable and gross that what you're already feeling. It's also so mentally draining to just literally pretend for hours and hours everyday, just being in the presence of people makes me gag and want to be dead. Sometimes I don't want to go out with friends for weeks on end. And when I do (which is usually to avoid silent treatments from family or because I'm just plainly forced to), I also need to put a smile on, or at least some concealer on my face. Sometimes what's even harder is to stop the happy act, because you get so used to it that your brain just automatically escapes to that fake scenario. Also because I despise myself so much that the mere thought of making someone put some effort in for me disgusts me and makes me feel so guilty and miserable, and so I need to appear like I don't need any help at all. Thankfully I'll learn how to stop that mentality soon; although I think I'm already making progress on it, so hopefully people will notice when I am kind of on the verge of another mental breakdown and I shouldn't be bothered with any more draining emotions.

Nevertheless, it really feels like my brain is not only trying to mentally kill me but also physically obliterate me, and that is not a pleasant thing to experience, even less for several weeks or months straight. Even in those episodes I have highs or lows, and I'd say I'm in a high right now since I have been energized enough to study a bit and play videogames with my friends, yet that void is still very obviously here with me. Low lows though, oh my god. Imagine not being able to breathe because you've been crying for three hours straight, your pillow is soaked of tears and snot and you're full of sweat produced by just those shaking movements. The other day I couldn't keep still, I just kept moving and flipping around and shaking my arms and punching any hard surface while biting my mouth wishing to stop because there was someone on the other line that was getting really concerned about me. That point of wanting to rip your hair out and stab your stomach to feel some mental peace for at least a few seconds. Oh it's such a painful feeling. You want to be reduced to nothing but dust and dirt .

It's really hard to explain in general, but I feel it in my head, like a dark cloud that partially blinds me. It's also kind of obvious because I find myself wanting to harm myself over the stupidest shit, and having suicidal thoughts over absolutely nothing. I usually sleep to have a clearer vision in the morning, because even a broken pencil carbon might drive me to the edge if it's a bad enough day. But even in "good" days the good things don't excite me as they should, the bad things hit way harder and I cannot process any negative emotions whatsoever without suffering the consequences, which usually end with at least two days of me drowning in the most absolute and desperate misery. I can also feel it in my stomach. Moving around. Blocking it. I can't eat. It stops my body functions. Maybe I eat too much. I also can't sleep well Or I sleep too much? I don't really know anymore, it just feels so restless. Everything feels restless. Me, the world even feels restless. I don't stop either sleeping or just resting on my bed, not doing anything. I don't move for days on end, I don't exercise and I don't think, I just isolate inside myself, yet my body feels so tired. I can't shower, barely eat, I can't brush my hair, I can't get to change my clothes. My own self is damaged, broken, worn out. If my meds are actually doing something, I can't imagine how bad these would be off them. And there's nothing I can do about it except wait for it to go away.

Honestly though, the medicine I take are antidepressants and antiobsessives, so they're supposed to help me with my obsessive thoughts and patterns and let me relax without this compulsive urge of following whatever my head dictates. However, it still feels so bad when I don't. Particularly, my most obsessive thoughts are usually about food, school and pain. My eating disorder goes specifically for the first one. That's another story really. In that aspect it is helping because I'm doing way better with my obsessions and food rituals. But my sense of self worth is still so distorted due to my accomplishments, body image and how valid I think I am. Sometimes I get triggered by an action, video or memory and I feel so trapped in it, as if I was back in that moment and I can't escape, and I need my comfort things, safe space or just whatever coping mechanism works to get out of there. Usually if it's really bad, nothing will really do. This is where things get a dark turn. Usually my head will start to hurt and everything spirals around me, my thoughts are all over the place and I can't make up a simple sensible pattern on them. All they tell me is destruction and violence and death and the end, and it's genuinely so pathetic and it sounds so edgy and dramatic, but I see red everytime. I can't control it. I don't know how to explain it at all. But I need to punch the walls until my knuckles are peeled, I need to hit myself until I get knocked out, or get burnt with hot water, get scratched with the sharpest nails or get ugly cuts all over myself, maybe get badly beaten or stabbed by someone who deeply hates me, maybe that someone should be myself. It's such a difficult feeling to express, yet it lives within those downs and it brings such impotence and desperation that all I can think about is how much I want it to be over. How much hatred I have towards myself and how much I desire that pain I deserve, or that ugly end to any suffering. Nothing is worth it. Nothing is of use. No matter how many 10s I get in glass, no matter how many funny videos or pretty pictures I draw, no matter how many hearts I can open or how many people open mine, I can swear that in those moments of absolute darkness all I can think about is to silent this voice in my head. Voice that comes with me every place I go, laughs at every fear of mine and repeats every sentence I despise to hear. It likes to remind me of my horrid insecurities every passing day, loves to flutter around while I rot because my own brain reminded itself how much it wants to stop existing. Because no matter how awful, heartbreaking and soul wrecking my sadness and anger are, nobody is going to believe it or validate it and I have to live with the knowledge that I will never be taken seriously. Because I have been experiencing that for at least four years. Because there is simply not point in trying anymore.

Now I vent when I want to, cry to the only people who are willing to listen and just swallow it until I'm able to fully express myself and leave behind this stupid fucking debilitating illness that everyone takes as a joke. Because I'm so fucking done with jokes. If anyone wants to laugh, they should go to my grave.

That's all.

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nikakistos · 3 years

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The Perfect Closure of EreMika

The title is pure clickbait (as always), there will be lots of tags (as always) and this post will be huge. As always. So, let’s examine and evaluate the perfect conclusion of the most important relationship in Attack on Titan. We will analyze why this is the best conclusion they could have gotten and of course we are going to talk about what their scenes meant for their relationship, their feelings for each other and the themes of the story.

First, let’s ask the question: What was the purpose of this chapter? Ending the fight obviously, but also giving closure to the relationship between Eren and Mikasa. Now, there were 3 questions that needed to be answered in order for the two of them to have closure.

Why did Eren say to Mikasa that he hated her?

What does Eren feel for Mikasa?

What would have happened if Mikasa had given Eren a different answer back in chapter 123?

Isayama answered all 3 of them in a spectacular way. Let’s see how he did it. The chapter literally starts with Isayama, via Mikasa, setting up the closure. This was achieved by having her wonder if this really was the end for her and Eren. Could it be that their last interaction ever ended with him saying that he hated her?

Isayama answers that with a big, fat NO.

That’s the purpose of Mikasa’s vision. Mikasa’s vision is not there to introduce us to Alternate Universes or to portray her as a delusional fangirl that can’t cope with reality. It’s purpose is to answer the above 3 questions. And that it does.

Essentially, Mikasa’s vision is a “What if” scenario. If Mikasa had chosen the ideal for her answer back in chapter 123, Eren would have abandoned everything and lived with her. This means that Eren is also in love with her. He said that he hated Mikasa, because he wanted her to forget him. That’s why he also asked her to throw away the scarf.

Mikasa though, being the truest representation of all major, positive themes in the series says no. She chooses to remember him. That’s essentially the meaning of life. That’s what Armin taught to Zeke back in chapter 137. Memories of everyday life. That’s the meaning of life. Back in Trost, Mikasa said that she couldn’t die, because she wouldn’t be able to remember Eren. Even back then, Mikasa always knew the true meaning of life.

Afterall, the series heavily criticizes the usage of memory manipulation. Deleting memories or altering them have been methods empoyed by the Royal Family for years, hiding the truth from the people. One of the themes of the Survey Corps is remembering their fallen comrades and carrying on the torch. Mikasa forgetting Eren would be an insult to the themes of the story. As would be if Eren was revealed to have been sending fake memories and dreams to Mikasa out of pity for her.

Finally, Mikasa decides to kill Eren. Not because he hated her or because he didn’t have romantic feelings for her. Because she had to save the world and because that’s exactly what Eren wanted. Back in chapter 133 Reiner foreshadowed Eren’s desires. He explained that it is very hard for Eren, mentally, to handle the murder of the entire human race. Through Reiner, Isayama reveals that Eren wants someone to end it all for him. That someone was Mikasa. That’s why Mikasa knew where to find Eren. His relieved face when he saw her swinging the blade said it all. That was Eren’s design and Mikasa delivered.

And so, the chapter that starts with Mikasa thinking that the only closure she would get with Eren was the “I’ve always hated you”, ends with the first and the last kiss between the two of them that puts all of her worries to rest.

Is Mikasa delusional?

I’ve seen this being thrown around, so i have to also tackle said point. No, Mikasa is not delusional. This wasn’t a fantasy that only she experienced. This dream of hers is the same dream that Eren had back in chapter 1. Eren experienced the exact same things she did in the dream. We even see him with his titan marks. It is clear as day that they shared these moments.

Also, i have to give credits to Isayama here for his usage of “itterasshai”. The word generally means “Go and come back safely” and is usually said to people leaving the house. For Mikasa, Eren is her home, but she is also home for him, as shown in the RtS arc:

These were the perfect parting words for the two of them. Nothing else could encapsulate their relationship better. Eren of course, won’t come back, but that’s the irony of the word here.

Moving on to the next point, Mikasa’s characterization in this final arc is about her seeing Eren for the person he truly is and stop ignoring his faults. It starts from the Marley arc and it concludes with chapter 123 where she realizes that this was simply part of Eren’s nature.

He always had it in him to become the monster that he became. However, he always had a different side to him. A side that had been shown to her a few times. At first, when he wrapped the scarf around her and later when he asked her “What am i to you”. Finally, it manifested as a desire to live quietly with her in their shared dream. It would contradict her development and characterization in the final arc, to have Mikasa start seeing an incomplete Eren again, after realizing earlier who he really was. Mikasa understood who Eren truly is and she accepted him and continued to love him anyway, even though she didn’t agree with his genocide.

It is not out of character for Eren to run away with her either. At least not in that instance. The series highlights the moment that he asked Mikasa “What am i to you” as a pivotal one. Sure, under normal circumstances, Eren would have chosen to fight, but we saw him breaking down just moments earlier. The only person that could have saved him was Mikasa. Alas, that wasn’t meant to happen.

In any instance, the biggest indicator that Mikasa is not just a delusional girl who kissed the decapitated head of the man she loved, when he never really loved her in the same way, is Ymir’s face at the end of the chapter.

Ymir, as i have mentioned in previous posts, is a girl who never knew real love during her lifetime. She didn’t understand what she was looking at, when she first say a couple kissing with their friends cheering them on. And after that she was sentenced to a cruel life, with a man who never loved her and only viewed her as a tool. This girl, remembers longinly that scene of the couple kissing for 2000 years. She was waiting for 2000 years to see real love again.

She witnessed that through Eren and Mikasa. In a scene that would have otherwise been painted in a negative light, Ymir’s warm smile at the sight of the final act of love between two people who never got to be together the way they wanted to, clears any and all doubts regarding Eren’s feelings for Mikasa and the latter’s sanity. Eren reciprocates Mikasa’s feelings and he was alive for enough time to kiss her back, before completely fading away. Eren and Mikasa replaced the married couple and Ymir replaced the crowd that was cheering at them from 2000 years ago.

Of course, one might ask, could Eren really kiss her? Didn’t she just take advantage of him? No, he did kiss her. The way the scene was directed, it shows us that the events, which take place in their dream, mirror the events in real life. Just look at Eren’s lips one moment before Mikasa kissed him and compare them to the picture above, where they kiss. They are different.

Also, you have to remeber that decapitation doesn’t kill immediately and does not immobilize facial muscles. That was the entire reason that Eren and Zeke managed to get the Coordinate. Eren survived long enough from Gabi’s shot to make contact with Zeke. Even his facial expression changes as you can see below:

More importantly, was there really any chance that Ymir would look at Mikasa beheading and kissing Eren, while also smiling in approval, if Mikasa was a delusional girl who was unable to understand Eren’s feelings for her up to the very end? Most of all, do you think she would have allowed him to die, without experiencing real love? She died in such a way and she stayed for 2000 years in the Paths waiting for someone to show her real love. Eren was her benefactor. Would she ever allow him to die in such a way, when she was being mistreated (sexually and in many other ways) by King Fritz? I doubt it. Actually no. I don’t doubt it. I’m sure this is not the way we are meant to interprete the scene.

Eren’s relationship with Mikasa, from the very start, is an allegory for the world of AoT. The world is cruel, but is also very beautiful. Eren’s story with Mikasa starts with him murdering in cold blood her kidnappers (cruelty) and then warmly and gently welcoming her to his family by wrapping a scarf around her (beauty). Their story ends with Mikasa decapitating him (cruelty) and kissing him (beauty).

Eren’s tendency for violence has always been portrayed as going hand in hand with his better side. That side has always been represented by Mikasa. It is only fitting for them to have their most beautiful moment happening almost at the same time as their most cruel one. This is how Isayama juxtaposes this duality:

If we interprete this scene as Mikasa being delusional and Eren not being in love with her we get a very disturbing and creepy scene, between an obsessed, psychosis-suffering girl who can’t understand the feelings of Eren, a genocidal maniac who never had any chance or willingness to live a normal life, even though there are hints of that, and a 2000 year old ghost who just happily smiled at the decapitation and forceful kissing of her emancipator. I am pretty sure this is not the message Isayama wants to send. Not simply, because it is a disservice to Mikasa as a character and to her relationship with Eren, which has been one of the most prominent and consistent part of the series from the very first chapter, but because it is also a huge disrespect to Eren as a character as well. Does anyone really think that Isayama would choose to write Eren’s death like that? Not a single important person in the entire story has gotten such an exit. Not even Floch. Even Zeke, who thought that his father never loved him and only used him as a tool, got to see that his father truly did love him, before finally dying. Of course Eren and Mikasa would get the same treatment.

What i mean to say is that Eren and Mikasa’s closure won’t be recontextualized in a way that will paint their feelings for one another and their relationship in a negative light. If anyone’s expecting that, he/she will be disappointed. Eren and Mikasa were confirmed as a canonical couple in chapter 138.

On the other hand, if anyone’s expecting that this wasn’t their real closure and that they will get an even happier ending, he/she is also coping hard. Eren died here in this chapter. There won’t be a scarf rewrap (i’m here to eat my words if it happens), because Isayama gave the couple a kiss. A kiss that was in the makings ever since chapter 50 dropped. And of course, there is not going to be a baby born to Eren and Mikasa. Like, no way it’s happening. Eren is not coming back to life as that would turnish the series and it’s ending.

In conclusion, Eren’s relationship with Mikasa ended in the same way it started. Violently and Beautifully. Tragically and Happily. They acted on their romantic feelings for each other the very moment they had to part ways forever. This is how Isayama hurts us. The essence of a bittersweet conclusion.

EDIT: EATING MY WORDS AS PROMISED. EREN DID REWRAP MIKASA’S SCARF. HE KEPT HIS PROMISE.

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shotorozu · 3 years

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you like their hands

character(s) : shinsou hitoshi, kirishima eijirou, monoma neito (2/?)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns, quirk left unmentioned

post type : headcanons + small scenario [fluff, the mildest of spice] not even nsfw

note(s) : i was gonna put denki in this but i had a hard time thinking about what kinda hands he’d have, so i’m putting him in the next post

»»————-　♡　————-««

shinsou hitoshi

his hands are big, and his fingers are quite thick.

really likes wearing rings and bracelets, but he usually doesn’t wear them when he’s working (i’d say that bc wearing jewelry while doing physical activity HURTS)

regarding texture, his hands were initially soft— but due to transferring in the hero course, they roughened up over time

he’ll use hand cream if you want, but he doesn’t go the extra mile. and his nails are trimmed at all times. painting his nails a black color would be great once in a while.

lol i forgot to mention nails in the last post

he notices right away that you like his hands when he catches you staring at them when he’s cracking his knuckles

like.. people have said that his hands are nice, but he doesn’t really say much about them bc they’re not you

scenario

a crack sound is briefly heard in the rather silent room. the scrolling on your phone halts, and your eyes follow the sound of the crack.

ah, he’s cracking his knuckles. you think to yourself, and you’re left just simply admiring the way he applies pressure on a knuckle. who knew that his rather— large hand would look appealing, even while cracking his knuckles.

you snap out of your observation, but instead of just simply going back to whatever you were doing, you’re met with lilac eyes. “you were staring again.”

your cheeks heat up, and you opt to just turn your head to the opposite direction. “sorry,” you apologize. however— that’s not what hitoshi was looking for apparantly.

“if you like my hands alot,” he scoots next to you, hands sliding up and down your arms— his firm grip practically making the pre existing butterflies in your stomach act up again. “then you should’ve said so, kitty.”

is he conscious of his actions? hm. you could say that

he’ll purposely play with his capture tool right in front of you— the material wrapping around his hand. and he can only laugh when you immediately get absorbed into it

the back of his hand will brush against your cheek. then, when he comes in to kiss you, he’ll cup your cheek— kissing you with his other hand resting at your nape

under the table, his hand will start to slide against yours, interlocking hands with you. he’ll act like nothing is happening, but on the inside— he’s taking in your reaction

a little spicy, but when he wants you to look at him— he’ll do that thing where his thumb brushed against your bottom lip, as it almost dips right into your mouth

if he feels a little extra, his hand will also be tugging on your hair (if you’re fine with that. otherwise, he’s sticking to the one above)

oh and he also does that thing where he rests his hand on your neck, thick fingers squeezing your throat lightly.

overall— THIS MAN omg, he’ll entertain your interest in his hand nicely, just for you. and every single thing he does is memorable

kirishima eijirou

his hands are quite normal regarding size, they are almost always veiny, a lot more than bakugou’s actually. i think at some point he was concerned about them

his hands are rather flushed in color, but that’s because of his quirk. his fingers have a few tiny scars here and there,

he occasionally has pen marks on his wrists due to bad penmanship, and his nails.. don’t look the best, but they’re not the worst it’s bc of his quirk

the palms of his hands are ridden with callouses. but he wears them with pride because it’s the pure evidence of his hard work with his training.

but he starts to get worried about them when he goes to hold your hand.

you always had a thing for kirishima’s hands, but you just never had the chance to tell him that. i guess asking you did it for him

scenario

did you even realize how hard you were staring at his hands right now? it happened every single time he enlaced his arms around you, his hands resting at the sides of your arms

at first, he thought it might’ve been because his hands are too rough, or you might’ve been in discomfort— because maybe, just maybe, he accidentally activated his quirk?

the fact that he can’t exactly tell what it is worried him, maybe he should just ask you.

but his worry washed off when you told him upfront that you ‘liked his hands’

“wait so.. you’re staring at my hands because you like them?” kirishima wants to confirm your words, and— so casually, by the way— nod in agreement.

tracing the veins on his hands, you elaborate “your hands are really nice, i can tell how hard you must’ve worked.” pressing your smaller hand against his, you smile.

eijirou takes a moment to process it, but it’s surprisingly quick. “oh t-thanks!” he sheepishly took the compliment, a small blush sporting on his cheeks. “i’m glad it wasn’t because you thought they were weird.”

kirishima unintentionally feeds your interest with his hands. like sometimes.. he’s just not aware of it, but yes— he is feeding your interest well

will always make you compare hand sizes with him, chuckling softly at the dazed look on your face when your palms touch

if you allow him, he’ll fix your hair for you. doesn’t matter what hair type you have, he’ll do LOTS of research to know how to style it

those hands are magical

if you get a papercut, or a wound from cooking— he’ll patch you up, then he’ll press a kiss on the bandaid.

he’ll do this thing where he’ll squeeze your sides when you pull in for a hug. but if you’re not okay with that, he’ll opt to just rubbing your back with his hand— rocking you softly as he hugs you

a little spicy, but his hands do wander a lot. you might need to even hold them in place to make sure they don’t go too wild

in addition to that, he’ll just SLIGHTLY, activate his quirk to make sure you’re conscious of his touch. his finger tips gliding against your back, sending shivers down your spine.

but of course, he’s careful. he doesn’t activate it to the point it causes scratch marks, nor will his actions draw blood. he doesn’t wanna do that

in short— kirishima’s a little clueless at first. he wouldn’t really tease you in public, but he’s surprisingly attentive to your interest.

monoma neito

his hands are on the tipping edge of slightly above average. he doesn’t have a lot of veins on his hands, but they do pop out depending on what quirk he’s using

monoma’s hands are pretty spotless of any scars (from cuts, abrasions, etc.) because he gets REALLY annoyed with wounds pretty easily

to the point he’d want to attend to the wound immediately, he doesn’t let them sit— it’s just a personal preference

his nails are at the perfect length. not too long and not too short to the point it hurts, you don’t know how he does it.

wears watches on his wrists, and not the digital type— he sorta acts like he can read it easily, but it takes him a few seconds to even get to know the time

you know this because kendo snitched on him and told you LOL

you secretly hate yourself for this, but you really like his hands because of how he takes care of them. you’d never tell monoma even though you’re dating him

scenario

you’re unsure of yourself on how your boyfriend— monoma, found out about your fascination with his hands. it was supposed to be a secret for the rest of your life, and you only remember talking about it once out loud

which you assumed was a close call, considering that you thought he didn’t hear it at all— but he did.

“so i heard you like my hands, huh Y/N?” monoma’s teasing tone does not aid the situation. your cheeks heat up with embarassment, and you can’t get yourself to answer his question— without sounding like a fool anyway.

you fake annoyance, “where’d that come from?” you ask, and monoma doesn’t seem to want to switch the topic

“i’m asking you a question, dear Y/N— i heard you like my hands,” his tone would’ve sounded condescending to any other person, but you can tell that he’s either genuinely curious

or just teasing you, because that’s how he is.

to aid his question, he brushes his fingers along your neck— near your pulse. you jolt, stunned by the sudden action— heart beating rapidly against your chest.

“see,” monoma presses his hand against your chest, where your heart is palpitating, grinning in a way that’s teasing you “it’s true, isn’t it? sweet Y/N has a thing for my hands, hm?”

you furrow your eyebrows, and flick his forehead— and he hisses in reaction, “fine then, i do like your hands.” you finally give in, admitting final defeat.

ever since then, you haven’t heard the end of it

definitely that person that’ll just randomly bring it up to you, no matter what hour of the day it is.

“oh Y/N, you were totally fawning over my hands earlier—”

“i will castrate you.”

you know he means well most of the time, but sometimes he just loves teasing the heck out of you.

but that doesn’t mean he neglects your obvious interest in his hands.

he’ll compliment you, he’s a snarky person in general— but to you, he’s totally smooth with it.

slides his hand from your forearm to your hands, only to bring them up to his lips, pressing a kiss against your hand

squeezes your hand everytime he sees you, it’s kind of a nonverbal greeting at this point

similar to kirishima, he likes comparing hand sizes— teasing you about the size difference (even if it’s not even a big of a difference, he’ll take that chance.)

does this thing where he rubs his thumb against his palm. does it a lot when he’s concentrated about something, or just out of the blue

a little spicy, but he’ll make you tell him what you like about his hands, and what you like about the things he does with those hands of his. if that makes sense

he wants all of the details, doesn’t care if it’s mundane, or things he does when he’s feeling a certain way.

he wants to know, because as soon as you’re done with your spewl, he’ll do exactly what you like, teasing you while he’s at it. and so he can start incorporating those habits whenever he’s around you.

totally someone that’ll make you suck on those fingers. oh, but he’ll purposely get some dessert on them— asking you to suck them off

“good grief, i got some dessert on my fingers again. Y/N, come suck them off”

sometimes he’s serious, sometimes he’s just teasing.

overall— it’s pretty adventurous. he starts to act on it as soon as the revelation is revealed to him.

but i’d say he does just fine.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, translate, repost, or use my work for audio readings without my consent :))

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