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grandstringbeansupreme · 10 months

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Spices- Humans are Space Orcs

i was a weird kid. I blame it on being Italian, but I loved spices. My mom caught me eating a clove of garlic once because I had eaten all my Halloween candy in rapid succession and only wanted savory foods. The funny thing is, most spices and flavorings, garlic being one of them, are active poisons or repellents to other mammals. Most mammals, actually, but Humans. Take onions- I love onions. I would eat one like an apple if I could. But cutting onions releases a chemical that makes your eyes burn, your nose burn, everything burn. Peppers will sting everything from your skin to your anus on its way out. Garlic releases a smell unbearable to most mammals and even insects. Yet we can't get enough.

Now think of an alien documenter checking the list of what all came into the ship ordered by crew mates that week when they docked for repairs.

And what's this?! Human Durran, ordering what? The alien's many eyes widen in horror as he reads the list of what, to his species, is downright poison. Ginger?! So strong in curdles stomach acids! Lemon?! Good stars, it caused reactions so severe on skin! HORSERADISH?! Human Durran was trying to kill them all!

Concerned, the alien tells the captain, who confronts Human Durran with the list and two of his best guards. Ordering such poisons is a serious thing! What could Human Durran possibly need them for other than to slaughter the crew?

The captain walks into the kitchen to find Human Durran slicing the ginger calmly, surely plotting the murder of the crew.

"Human, we have matters to discuss urgently."

Human Durran turns, eyeing the guards, before looking at the captain.

"Am I in trouble, Captain?" He questions, lifting a piece of ginger to his lips and consuming it as if it was nothing.

#space australia #space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space raccoons #humans are space badgers

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lovelesslittleloser · 11 months

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Tbh this has been on my mind for MONTHS

Human codes… but they’re not actually codes??

A small group of humans is discovered by some curious aliens. Both sides can assume that the other is sentient. The aliens are trying to translate the humans’ language to their own, and the humans are trying to learn the aliens’ language. But since humans are tricky, they’ve decided that they don’t want the aliens to know their language, so they can have secret conversations.

So they go a little crazy. With written words, they randomly use lowercase and capital letters, even using numbers and symbols, and use a lot of slang, occasionally using words incorrectly on purpose. They’ll jumble the words a bit so that only human brains can guess their meaning (that thing where if you use all the letters and put the proper letters at the beginning and end it’ll be comprehensible), and even use additional or unofficial languages (commonly known words like ‘hola’, ‘si’, ‘oui’, etc, and piglatin, in which you typically take the first letter or syllable of a word, place it at the end, and add ‘ay’ to the end).

As for spoken words, they will do a bit of the above, mashing languages and slang, perhaps mispronouncing a few things, and quoting memes, vines, movies, and even singing parts of songs to throw off the aliens. Perhaps they will say something with a somber meaning in a joyful way to throw off the meaning, or even just naturally (‘I wanna die!’ ‘Mood’), or vice versa.

Additionally, there would have to be a TON of body language. Maybe even sign language, should they know any. Gestures and expressions, eyebrow wiggles and poorly-hidden grins. Ah, the beauties of communication.

#I’m sure there’s more #please add more #aliens #humans #humans are space orcs #haso #humans are space fae #humans are space raccoons #humans are space orcs prompts #humans are weird #humans are insane #humans are terrifying #language #communication #lingustics #? I hope this counts as linguistics??#I’ve had this in my head for an unwritten fic I’ve abandoned before its birth #just humans being clever little pricks #aliens: hello humans! we wish to communicate! please speak as you naturally would!#human: ouldshay eway unray?#other human: *offended look* Bethany. I made BISCUITS *subtle gesturing to alien food*#another human: if I stay there will be trouble~ and if I go there will be double~ so I gotta gotta know~ should I stay or should I go #alien: are we sure these are all the same species? because I’m fairly sure they’re all speaking different languages

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thecommunalfoolboy · 1 year

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Just found out about the humans are space orcs thing you all got going on here and I wanna know how many of u guys finally realized u think humans are so strange bc ur autistic

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ena-113 · 9 months

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A human crewmate, Mia, held a long thin box. It seemed to have paper and plastic peices inside, based on the sound. A puzzle perhaps? A few other crewmates trailed behind them.

"Hey Bob! Wanna join us? We're playing Clue, it's a board game from earth."

Bob nodded and joined the others trailing after Mia. He had no idea what a 'board game' was, but it seemed fun. They eventually all gathered around a table in the cafeteria.

"Okay, so it's a murder mystery and we have to figure out who killed Mr. Body. We're all possible suspe-" Mia started to set up the board and explain, but was cut off by Jli'yan.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but why do humans have a game centered on murder and distrust?"

"Cause it's fun, thrilling. Good for poker face practice." Kaya answered, shuffling cards. They then nodded towards Mia to continue explaining.

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#I was originally gonna do monopoly #but decided against it #clue is more fun #nonlinear narrative #not beta read #humans are space orcs #humans are space badgers #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humans are confusing #humans are space australians #humans are insane #humans are space raccoons #humans are space capybaras #humans are space fae #board games #game night #not beta'd

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blurring-ramblimgs · 1 year

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Humans as a species are fundamentally coded to find companionship, form groups, to come together in packs as a way of safety.

As they evolved, however, they met one another, they clashed, and they fought. They found the worst in companionship and found the best in it too.

They shared information, communicated, and spoke. They built towers taller than the clouds and climbed the tallest mountains. They dug into the heart of their earth, filled only with curiosity and the prospect of finding new information about their home's past. They went past where any animal in their world had been, pushed past the limits of evolving featherless, and looked to the stars.

They soon found themselves racing against one another, to push past the limits of their home, a place they'd conquered and charted many years before. They entered Orbit, then set foot on their moon.

Then it was silent.

They'd assumed they had broken all possible goals, they couldn't reach farther than the moon in any visible future.

And the humans went about their lives, still thinking, of course, but forgetting what lied beyond their clouds and silly moon.

They developed their technology, made television that could easily be mistaken for live images, broke the speed of sound, dove into the farthest depths of the ocean, and they did all this, with the help of their creations.

Humans, as a species were made to find companionship.

They found that in these lifeless clumps of wires and servos. They found this.. love and empathy for something that was little more than an empty husk with no soul.

They programmed their creations' first words to be, "Hello, World."

They gave them hearts, empathy, love. They taught them what it meant to be human, to experience boundless curiosity, and to feel the desire to find the answers to their universe.

Robots as a species were made to find companionship.

The humans knew they might not last long. They made time capsules and sent them into the boundless depths of space. They sent satellites to follow after the capsules, then Rovers after the satellites, then nothing.

Their creations were able to find that companionship their species longed for, from within the stars. The robots cheered, celebrated and quickly lead these new companions back to their homeworld, to show what their creators had been able to accomplish in such a long time.

Robots were made to find companionship, yes.

But humans? Humans were meant to destroy themselves.

#hfy #humans are awesome #humans are confusing #humans are space raccoons #humans are strange #humans in space #humans are insane #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #human things #uhh #space orcs #space #rovers #nasa rovers

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imsociallyanxiousgetoverit · 5 months

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yo what if Danny was the human representative on a ship and had to politely explain that his biology is different but he does know alot about the average human because he was born there and was human for the first decade of his life?

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bathroom-spiders · 2 years

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Alien abduction but more like hitting an animal with a car and it's still breathing so they rush it to the vet. And neither the pilot nor the vet have ever seen anything like a human so they do their best but their best is kinda awkward.

Maybe they fuck up bad and they put the knees on backwards. Or they make it so the human becomes an obligate carnivore. Or they fuse the nostrils shut.

Or maybe the human makes a full recovery but the behaviour is so worrying the aliens dont think the human is suitable for reintroduction. Wild human sanctuary in space. Human rehabilitation program.

Aliens getting real friendly with wild humans like those people who feed bears in their yards. Cool concept but literally the dumbest thing. Ear tags on problem humans who are not shy enough around aliens.

#humans are space orcs #sort of #humans are space raccoons #it speaks

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dylandotwhat · 10 months

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This was actually fanart of @ratspleen 's fic 'Home Again, Home Again' I did nearly 2 years ago back in August

So if anybody's into SBI and aliens mixed together with a sprinkle (bucket load) of the Humans are Space Orc propaganda, go check it out!

#fanfic #fanfic fanart #sbi #tommyinnit #tommyinnit fanfic #tommyinnt fanart #techno phil and tubbo are there in spirit #little doodle spirits #aliens #humans are space raccoons #well tommy is #humans are space orcs #my art

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chem-echols · 11 months

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I've been binge watching Criminal Minds (now on s6!) and I've been wondering what it would be like in a "Humans are Space Orcs" situation with them.

For example, what if they got Reid? or Hotch? I headcanon both of them to be autistic, so they're not exactly an entire representative of humanity. Aliens might not even know the diversity of the human brain.

I feel Reid will just tell them straight away he's autistic, but Hotch will be much more apprehensive (if they're able to establish communication).

But what if it were the whole team? The BAU is also not a representation of all humanity, only a small part of people who see the worst that humanity can offer.

I can already see Garcia and Reid being so excited that aliens are real, even though they've been kidnapped. Love those nerds.

here's a cat for your troubles

#criminal minds #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #humans are space badgers #humans are space raccoons #WHY IS THERE SO MANY NAMES LMAOOO #theyre not wrong tho #autistic spencer reid #autistic hotch #autistic reid

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cryptid-likes-soup · 1 year

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Humans interrogating every new alien species they come across about color cones, trying to find a species that can describe the shrimp colors

#humans are space orcs #humans are space raccoons #Mass effect #Star Trek

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grandstringbeansupreme · 10 months

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Humans Are Space Orcs- Inhospitable Environments

⋆dedicated to @jhomikle⋆

Captain Giristlo had one major goal as leader of xeir ship, the Stargazer.

The safety and happiness of all of xeir crewmates.

So when xey had caught Human Owen and Durran, xeir two resident humans, arguing about something called a "television", xey had been curious. The argument had apparently been about a show that appeared on this television device. When the ship next docked, Giristlo had ordered one of these 'televisions", hoping this might settle the argument.

When xey gave it to the humans, they were very excited. Soon enough, they had it up and running in their quarters. When they were on break, Giristlo could walk by and hear it running.

Soon, Giristlo's curiosity overcame xem and xey asked to watch one of these "shows" with the humans.

Human Owen and Human Durran sat xem down to watch "something simple." As the logo flashed across the television, the translator clipped it to "National Geographic." *

Giristlo watched with great interest as the episode tracked two Hikers (Human John and Human Sarah) who were taking a trek up a mountain on Earth called "Everest".

Giristlo's interest soon turned to horror as xey beheld the conditions of the mountain. Show after show on this "channel" revealed even more horrible conditions like a "desert" or a "rainforest." Xey had heard of planets with these features before, but had never seen sentients actively try and brave them.

"Why does your species challenge your nature? This is seriously dangerous work, Human Owen and Human Durran!"

"Well, because it's an adventure! It's fun!"

*not sponsored by Nat Geo. I wish.*

#humans are space raccoons #humans are weird #space australia #space orcs #humans are strange #humans are space oddities #humans are space australians #humans are space badgers

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babyspacebatclone · 1 year

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Happened to see this while a flood of #Humans are Space Orcs hit my dash, and it got me thinking.

youtube

Like, just, the insane limits we push with our benign hobbies.

Speedruns. Kaizo Hacks. Aluminum Ball Polishing.

Dirt Ball Polishing.

I pity the species that have to deal with humans trying to keep themselves entertained in space, even when we’re not trying to kill ourselves.

#humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #hobbies #extreme challenges #humans are space fae #humans are space badgers #humans are space raccoons #humans are so weird #humans are deathworlders

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apex-bull-shark · 1 year

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You Know I’m Wondering

Where Did The Famous

“Vice Admiral Stabby The Roomba” Come From?

Edit: I’m Not asking what is the meme about I’m asking where did Stabby First appear like was it on a tumblr HASO post or on a different website ya get what I mean

#humans are space badgers #humans are space raccoons #humans are confusing #humans are space orcs #stabby the roomba #the legend of stabby #stabby the space roomba #humans are space australians #humans are deathworlders #humans are space oddities #humans are space fae #humans are space capybaras

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ena-113 · 1 year

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Humans can be heard yelling from one of the bedrooms. An alien crewmate, nicknamed Bob, goes to check it out, fearing the worst.

"plus 4, Uno."

"you bitch!"

the humans are gathered in a circle on the ground with colorful cards. one of them notices him.

"oh hey Bob, wanna join us? we're playing Uno."

Bob shakes his head and backs out of the room carefully.

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part2

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#my first contribution to #humans are space orcs #brain barf #not beta read #non linear narrative #humans are space capybaras #humans are space badgers #humans are space raccoons #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humans are confusing #humans are scary

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blurring-ramblimgs · 1 year

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When others say that humans pack-bond with anything, they aren't joking.

Today, me and a small family of five [with one out and about] wandered into a fauna store that sold ferns and flowers. I was partaking in exploration with the young human, a female who just turned fourteen. We found ourselves wandering the isle where fake animals were seated, most included gargoyles (a common human myth) and rabbits. (a small herbivore with large ears) They seemed to have been made of a sort of stone, Maybe porcylen and were beautifully painted, so well painted it could be confused for a life animal.

This young human, took care to a fake cat (A feline of sorts, with a heart shaped face and small body.) It was a cream tabby, as she told me and had light gray-blue eyes, the young one's favorite colour. She quickly picked up the toy and held it close to her chest, overlooking its face and staring into its weirdly realistic eyes. Not before long she began to BEG her parent, a female, for the item. The pre-mature human had never begged before and it was admittedly, a weird sight to see.

The parent of course, said no and she reluctantly placed it back, but not before continuously seeming.. upset? About it, claiming that it wasn't her fault she managed to form such a quick attachment to the item. The female continued to complain and pout, (again, i had never seen this behavior in the human, neither had the mother.) Soon, her female parent gave in and allowed the young human to have the fake feline.

As we approached the car (a vehicle that runs on gas and uses its wheels to roll) I noticed how... happy she was. A huge contrast from before.

The human then told me that as she rode In the car she felt a physical pain at the idea of not acquiring the fake feline. (now named, Essi) I found it very confusing as to how quickly the human created a pack-bond to the fake creature. She quite literally rotated it for about a few seconds and glanced into its eyes. For this reason, I must also wonder if.. items that have realistic eyes accelerate their pack-bonding habits? If anyone knows otherwise please share your own research!

#humans are space australians #humans are space raccoons #earth is weird #humans are strange #hfy #humans are confusing #pack bonding #humans pack bond

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cokezuko · 1 year

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Humans are weird

Inside clothes.

Humans enjoy adorning themselves with various pieces of cloth and occasionally metals, they have various sets for different occasions as well and each occasion has a different name for the clothes

For instance “business casual” is what you will often times see people wearing in a human office. “Lounge wear” you may see them in during their off time or when they are running errands. However “house clothes” are by far every humans favorite for rather unknown reasons.

Especially since these are clothes you will often never see them wearing. A human will only ever wear “house clothes” inside their own living quarters. Often times their favorite items to adorn themselves with. They will also have multiple periods in the day where they may state “I can’t wait to go home and get into comfy clothes” this referring to their house clothes.

Even so with everyone knowing that the house clothes are a humans favorite, should you arrive at their home unexpectedly and find them in such garments they will often express apologies such as “sorry I wasn’t expecting someone” or “ignore my outfit, let me go change” and they will often times change into another outfit, or put a covering in over at least half of their house clothes.

Rest assured this is not done for your comfort but theirs, humans are very attached to rheir house clothes specifically, often times something very sentimental to them or an old heirloom.

For a human to allow you to see their house clothes is a very intimate thing and is seen as a large display of trust in many humans. Should a human present themselves to you wearing their house clothes, the most important thing for you to do is act as if nothing is out of the ordinary and perhanps even compliment the garments.

The only time this is to be altered is if a human is wearing house clothes outside of their living quarters.

Should you find your human out of the house yet wearing house clothes, and seaming at ease about it, this may be a symptom of an underlying issue. Perhaps an illness, or they are in emotional distress, or something has occurred that veers humans out of their normal rythem. It almost always indicate that said human is in a vulnerable state and therefore your safest corse of action is to offer them a human delicacy referred to as “ice cream” their response to that will indicate the best method to proceed

#humans are weird #humans are space raccoons #humans are adorable #pajamas

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