I wish but I can't because some people have no luck and yeah some people are just shitty anyway even the person who supposed to love you.

But again what's bare minimum? The standard are so diverse from one person to another

Well for me, bare minimum is like what you need to keep alive, food, clothes, book to write as a child and home without no constant yelling and beating but I guess is already too high and for some it was like the default set up.

This is funny okay I kinda mad because tumblr is not consistent on their font and I really picky on little things but the app is not better either so yeah I SHOULD just keep writing but you know my mind is not that great as it's always been on too much pressure since the beginning.

One one rainy day back then in 2015, I am about to get into my class which I don't remember what lol but I do remember vividly that I am using this white sweater because it's cold but I didn't know that it was gonna rain and I hate it cause it's white and gonna get so much dirt cause ofc it was raining. I cared too much and anxious bout it until my friend realized (well we're not that close but aren't everyone in your class automatically be your friend?)

Saying what happened? Aren't you putting your priority wrong, instead of worrying so much about your sweater you didn't worry about yourself, your body cause you can catch the cold but the sweater is just sweater. Damn, I can't process my thought at that moment cause I was too stunned too speak.

It was because since I was a kid I always raised to be fucking worry about small things, like breaking the glass it could get me so much trouble even when i was just 4yo which is very common but I never really have this kind of thought in my head (to care about myself) but worry about cleanliness bullshit all fucking things that ofc will break one day cause my father just love to be angry at me and calling me stupid and worthless.

Not hiding it anymore but I guess my brain was too fucking broken (and still is but I'm trying to learn better way to approach things and think about another positive point of view) but also it's so hard. It's hard and this friend who point out to me about my crazy worriedness and agitation about my sweater getting dirty instead of me catching the cold kinda open my eyes about the self love itself.aq

It was so fucking strange for people with childhood ptsd like me cause everytime i fell from the bike or my scooter they asked if the scooter is fucking okay and not me, instead they're so angry and saying how could you become so stupid and reckless. See you're truly a destroyer.

And my pain is not coming from why they didn't care about me but overthink about their words like yeah why am i fucking stupid and can't doing fucking things right.

Like this mentality they build up on me, it's cruel and like poison to my body but they wondering why i wanted to check out from this life very soon. I felt so unloved but i didn't have the words for it because i believe i can only got some love when i did sometimes remarkable which also not true because since I was a kid i was like top 3 students on the class (no I actually always be the first) but then they see it as just meh, like it was expected from me cause you don't work and only eat go to school ofc you should have good grade.

Fuck. That's when I remembered now my friend said if I were you my parents would give me anything I asked for. Like gifts. Wow. Like I only get dissatisfaction because they never vocal about love (or maybe they just not proud enough) but ALWAYS LOUD TO POINT OUT MY MISTAKE. the sadder things is they don't treat my sister this way. Because she is younger. Their words when she's only ONE YEAR FUCKING YOUNGER THAN ME. I kid you not. Since I was three ( I already have sharp memory probably because I am an 🐘 lol) I was always just playing with myself as they're busy with my sister and since i got in kindergarten they always saying me to protect her and be a good example when fuck you parents it's your job and she's not even that younger than me.

But I was craving for love and I did that, my best and that's shows from my mark in school also I was very religious even when I was just kid (as kid absorb nonsense quickly also they can't think for themselves just yet) I can read arabic when mostly my peers still struggle and even my sister hate to learn the hijaiyah (the arabic alphabet) and refuse to partake on studying that when I was already so good and can read Quran (cause you know it's step by step learning as they combine every letter and the shape changes) and yeah yada yada yada it's in the past.

I was always too mature for my age and I know I love childish things probably my revenge cause I can't do it those things back then cause I have to be the big sister. Big fucking sister and she even hates me because i guess she think I am being smart pants when if I didn't do that parents hates me for not showing her the fucking right way to life. Fuck.

I iron my uniform bu myself, for some people.is amazing like 4yo know how to do that washing, cleaning up the house, but for me it's just a burden and my sis is never get her hands dirty at all cause it's like only my chores. The resentment building up over years, also my curiosity never stops (thanks for encourage me to read even when I was 4 I was too early to know about rape but I read the newspaper and I understand the world, learning things everyday). It only makes me grow bitter and darker, it robs me joy being a child i told you, this so called truth of life i mean cause child they just read the things they told them to read but I already learn the translation of that (tafseer) and growing so religious to the point i never asked and just believe. Not until I got better in English and read many English books, fiction and non-fiction that now I know philosophy also not everyone is believing the same shit. I mean I aware back then not everyone is believing same things but mostly they're believing the things that handed down to then from their parents. Because if you don't you're the problem and rebel in the family and ofc I don't want that as I still long for love.

But the love is never come and so I got into dark deep shit about ending it all before all my own process thoughts is the one who set me free from all the chains they've been put on me before when I can't even say no cause it's just what everyone does here.

It's the best thing. For them. Not for me

And we can agree to disagree but look at the world rn. They choose war over peace because they cared so much to prove the truth when truth is we should love each everyone the same and trying for the best to help each other and nature so it won't fall apart and more broken day by day.

I'm quiet. I always have been. I live in my own brain, going over things over and over again.

From a very young age I was exposed to pornographic material, from someone who was my guardian. As a kid, you don't realize what harm that can do and how can confusing it can be.

No one really wanted to spend time with me growing up, except for my Grandfather, who thankfully lived across the road. I was always bothering someone, I should occupy my own time. No one is here to entertain. I spent a lot of my life feeling lonely in a house that had more than two people.

I was a big girl when I was little. My family teased me relentlessly and told me if I didn't stop eating so much, I'd be so fat by the time I'm 16 that no one would ever love me. Doctor told my mother to leave me alone, she didn't listen. Now I'm 32, and go through periods of starvation if I feel like I'm gaining weight because if I'm fat "no one will love me." My cousins used to grab my fat and call me rice rolls, would make fun of my double chin, my fat arms. Once I left a pair of my jeans at my Aunt's house, her and her daughter both got into each of the legs of my jeans and took a picture, with smug looks on their faces.

When I didn't want birthday cake at my Uncle's birthday, my Aunt open handed slapped me across the face. I didn't want cake because they always shamed me when I would eat junk food.

Once, when I was a kid, my mother was so mad at me, she claimed she was going to find a foster family for me. She dropped me off across the road at my Grandfather's and took off. And didn't come back for HOURS.

I've been kicked out of the family home three times already, only to be gaslighted and told that I was NEVER told that. The first time I spent the night in the park. The last time I was kicked out, my stepson was there and I was coming back to take care of them. Mother adamantly said that I was NOT allowed to come back and then cried wolf to the whole community that I "dumped" them on her. Treated my new boyfriend like shit, even though she knew nothing about him, the situation and just assumed. It's a theme that she knows EVERYTHING.

When my mother and stepfather separated, all she could was badmouth him. Tell me how he was a fat, lazy prick that couldn't get his dick up.

I've often heard the phrase "if it wasn't for you and your Grandfather, I would have had a life" and "there's always just been... something off with her" as well as "I love you but I don't have to like you" and "who do YOU think YOU are?" Clearly not anyone you care about, that's for sure.

When I wiped out on my scooter at like 50 mph and smashed the whole side of my face up, she didn't take me to the hospital and just proceeded to wake me up every five minutes so I didn't fall into a coma. I'm still convinced that I managed to acquire some brain damage from that.

When teased relentlessly st school for being fat and a myriad of other things, her response was to "ignore them." The only time she came into school and caused a fuss is when I came down with head lice and had to stay home from school and she only protested because she couldn't have her fucking alone time.

Bled through my clothes in high school. Called mom to see if she could bring me a change of clothes, to which she yelled at me to use common sense and bring spare underwear next time. She didn't drop me off any clothes.

My stepdad is a long haul trucker so he'd be gone from Sunday night to Friday night. If I'd get in trouble on a Monday, she'd withhold love, stick me with the cold shoulder and silent treatment until the weekend and then would allow my stepfather to get mad at me because I "ruined his weekend." So if they managed to get into a fight because of me on that weekend, she'd withhold love, stay upstairs and leave me alone to occupy myself for a whole other week. She's a master at holding grudges.

I was often involved in fights between them. My bedroom was connected to the laundry room so I often was dragged in there and told how horrible the other parent was.

I've been verbally attacked by more than one of my family members at the same time. They love to use me as a doormat and a scapegoat.

My cousin is so deathly jealous of my relationship with our Grandfather that at his funeral, she said "I don't know why I'm here, I hated the bastard anyway." This is the woman who dated a guy who pissed the bed, EVERY DAY and used to steal my mother's used underwear. Whenever she used to visit my Grandfather, he would put all his valuables in his room, padlock and chain the door closed because she was a THIEF.

My mother's side of the family either married a child molester, housed one or both. My Aunt's first husband molested both my mother and Tanya but yet, the sun shines out of my Aunt's ass. My cousin June married her husband Phil who was a LITERAL kiddy diddler and was dying from cancer. I was always told not to go into Phil's fucking room and now I know why.

I was super excited for a field trip and being a kid, I wanted to go so badly. So I kept bothering my mother, and she kept telling me that we didn't have the money. So, being a kid, I went into my room and had a meltdown. She came into my room, screaming that this is all she had and if I was happy now, all the while throwing pennies at me. Then afterwards she punched me in the shoulder, gave me the finger and stomped out of my room. I wasn't a teenager yet. I was in bunk beds still.

My mother was hooked on codeine but now she's on Kratom and if you didn't know, Kratom is an herb that has been used experimentally to help people with drug addictions. I do believe she takes about 12 caplets.

As an adult, she's accused me of lying about all of this, being a narcissist and will only go to therapy with me if I take a lie detector test. Anything I do, anything I say, anything I try, is just never quite enough.

In most of these cases, the sole blame is placed on me. Every fight, every altercation was caused because of ME and she's innocent. She's never done anything wrong. She has a victim complex. A lie detector test is selfish and only for her, to clear her name. I want to go to therapy so we can try to save this mother/daughter relationship that has been so toxic. Apparently what we want and our values aren't the same. I don't know if I should just give up. She's practically 60. Narcissists don't change.

zhongluc single dad au part 5 finale!

hiro here to bring y'all the last part of the single dad au series: a cup of you

as promised, here is the finale with a happy ending, and i hope you enjoy!

《♡》

a week passed yet it seemed like forever

the day after diluc told the principle that bennett wouldn't be able to go to school due to his injury, several of his friends and classmates came to visit him

since diluc was busy with accompanying his son in the hospital, jean, lisa, eula, and kaeya had to cover his shifts

for the first few days, zhongli tried to call him but diluc only ignored him since there was only so many things he could take right now

as much as bennett wanted to reassure he was fine he...really wasn't

the fall caused a fracture and he needed surgery (and the aftermath of the screws is...not pleasant) and so diluc was there 24/7 to take care of him and administer the painkillers

it wasn't until another week where bennett would be discharged from the hospital

when diluc expected the cafe to be closed at this hour (it was around 10pm too) he and bennett were greeted with confetti

apparently kaeya, jean, lisa, and eula wanted to welcome them back and congratulate bennett on being discharged from the hospital

kaeya also takes this opportunity to talk to diluc for a bit and tell him to relax and take it easy now that bennett is out of the hospital

he also tells him that if ever he needed some time off for his son they can take over his shifts if he gives additional pay

then diluc proceeds to smack kaeya on the head

on the other hand zhongli meets up with his good friend, venti for drinks

"good friend" when he doesn't get drunk all the time or pry into zhongli's love life so much and makes jokes about making them into songs

right now though he just wanted drinks with the company of friends 

when zhongli arrived to the bar, venti was already drinking all by himself (with around 2 or 3 glasses already) 

he is already disappointed in his friend

there was a bit of bickering on both ends at first until zhongli orders osmanthus wine and venti comments that he only drinks it when he’s bummed out

the “good friend” part of venti asked zhongli if he was still taking antidepressants the last time they saw each other

he still does but not as much as they used to these days but he feels the need to take them regularly again

as much as venti wants to asks he just drops the topic and talks about work instead

venti is a freelance songwriter for anything and everything due to his so called “musical genius”

they talk and drink for the rest of the night but venti starts to realise that zhongli is drinking a lot more than he’s used to

venti takes this opportunity to ask his dear friend a few...questions

when he asks about the person he likes nowadays, zhongli smiles and tells venti all the things he likes about him

just before he gets into too much detail, venti asks him another question

he asks if he’s happy to which zhongli looks troubled 

zhongli mentions that yes, he is happy but lately they haven’t been talking and he blames himself for it

he then becomes dejected over it and venti feels guilty for asking 

it was a good thing zhongli’s phone was out (and that venti knew the password) because it was time for them to go and he couldn’t exactly drive all the way back to zhongli’s place when venti uses a scooter

venti decides to call childe since the last message from his was saying that he made calla lily seafood soup for the kids at home

childe was surprised to hear venti’s sober voice since he’s usually the that’s drunk and needs to be escorted home

he arrives on time to see venti taking care of a passed out zhongli and take him home

he asked what happened and venti’s only explanation was that he drank too much 

as much as childe wanted to ask more it was already getting late and the bar was closing soon

on the ride home, zhongli mumbled something that childe was able to hear so clearly 

“i miss him”

there was no need to guess who it was based on how so fondly zhongli said it

this was the last straw, childe told himself, and decided to pay a small visit to angel’s share cafe the next morning 

diluc was taking a break after his shift while kaeya stayed by the cashier when childe stormed in and demanded diluc for an explanation for not talking to zhongli for nearly nearly three weeks now

all diluc could tell him was sorry since he’s still trying to process his emotions first about it

kaeya leaves his place by the cashier and stops childe before he could do anything rash

childe begins to tell kaeya that “this wasn’t supposed to happen” and “the plan was perfect” 

diluc catches on and asks what plan they were talking about to which childe covered his mouth and made kaeya sigh

he turned to face his brother and said that he will explain all about it someday 

it only took diluc a few moments to understand the whole situation and confirm with his brother if he and childe set him up with zhongli 

since the cat’s out of the bag, kaeya mentions everyone who was in on it which makes diluc even more frustrated

kaeya tries to apologies but diluc replies with “don’t talk to me” and leaves the cafe

diluc was on his way to guyun stone park and realised half-way that it will only dampen his mood even more

when he’s about to turn back he bumps into someone who spills their drink on both of them

“what a mess...i’ll remember this.” 

diluc realises that he bumped into eula and apologises immediately and offers her his handkerchief only to be turned down 

she said it was fine since it’s only cold water and will dry soon eventually 

eula noticed that something was wrong and asked if he wanted to talk about it since it’s troubling him so much

they then sit on a nearby bench just outside guyun stone park where diluc talks about what’s troubling him but only giving her vague details about it 

he admits that he’s upset since they all planned for this to happen and thinks that it’s some kind of sick joke, as if poking fun at his romantic life

eula can’t say much since she’s an outsider in all of this but suggests that he should talk to zhongli about what happened since she sympathizes with him

when diluc gives her a puzzled look she replies with “i know the feeling of being misunderstood and it isn’t a pleasant one” 

he didn’t have the right to ask her a personal question so they both just leave it at that 

diluc gives it some thought for a few days before calling zhongli again but this time, he’s the one ignoring his calls

it had nearly been a month and they still haven’t talked to each other and it kind of feels like their relationship ended before it even began 

when he was thinking of giving up after calling for the umpteenth time, a small fox, no...rabbit? was placed on the counter 

he looks up to see albedo carrying his little sister klee and mentions that she’s been meaning to give that to him since he looks sad lately and wanted to cheer him up to thank him for all the delicious treats he serves 

this reminds diluc of the gift he got for zhongli on the day he was gonna confess

he hurriedly thanks albedo and asks jean if she could take over since he needed to go somewhere important 

with the gift in hand, he bought a bouquet of glaze lilies on the way and made his way to zhongli’s apartment 

when he arrived he was greeted by xiao at the door who only closed it as soon as he saw him 

diluc tried knocking again and again until zhongli was the one who opened the door and was very much surprised to see him and realise why xiao kept the door closed 

“zhongli...”

he stopped the door before zhongli was able to fully close it and requested if they could talk for a bit

it took him a few moments to decide yet it felt like forever. in the end zhongli nods and they go down the small garden where there were barely any people

diluc decides to give the flowers first as an apology for ignoring him the past few weeks since a lot of things...happened 

before he could continue zhongli asked how bennett was as if to change the subject and diluc mentioned that his son was fine 

going back, he starts explaining what he saw that day and was really confused about it and thought that zhongli already had someone else and then the accident happened with bennett so he had to prioritize his son of course 

he also mentions that he should have asked in the beginning and told him what happened instead of rushing out of the park and leaving him to wait for hours

zhongli explained that the man he saw the other day was a dear friend of his and they used to be close 

diluc is now dumbfounded after hearing who the man was and feels stupid for being jealous about it 

when zhongli wonders why diluc didn’t ask in the first place, the other explained since he felt hurt 

“but why?” 

“because i like you”

then they both stand there in silence because...finally 

diluc confesses that that’s what he’s been meaning to tell zhongli, who cuts him short and kisses him

it was just a short, chaste kiss before he pulled away until diluc brought their lips together again with such need

when they part again, zhongli smiles and tells diluc that he likes him too, but he probably already knew that

they both laugh and zhongli comments that the flowers were lovely 

diluc then shows him a box and mentions that we he was also supposed to gift this too him that day 

when zhongli opens it, he sees a pocket watch with a mountain and dragon designs on it 

“you told me you liked antiques and so i bought it because it reminded me of you” 

this time, zhongli pulls him in for a hug and thanks him. he also apologises for ignoring his calls and messages but diluc only reassures him by saying that he deserved it 

timeskip to a year later and their relationship has been going well

they still continue to have their weekly dates together (bi weekly if they're considering the ones that they're not with the kids)

on just a few simple occasions, they would all go out together as if they were already a real family

ganyu asks them when they'll get married so she can stop calling diluc "diluc" and start calling him dad

they both blush and diluc explains that it's not their time yet since someone else is getting married

zhongli was at his usually table at the cafe when kaeya happily serves him his drink and gives him his wedding invitation, saying that he wanted to give it before childe managed to do so

he’s surprised that they still managed to print the invitation a few weeks away from the actual wedding 

childe and kaeya have been planning for months and yet somehow they forgot to formally invite everyone to the event itself, which was understandable since they were both still busy at work 

zhongli was going to be one of childe’s groomsmen while diluc was going to be kaeya’s best man

the ceremony went well and everyone was happy for the new couple 

diluc did the honours of saying a speech during the reception to the newly weds and congratulate them both on this new chapter of their lives 

when it came to the dancing part of the program, diluc invited zhongli to dance with him and said that he could only slow dance to which zhongli laughs but takes his hand 

they both watch childe and kaeya happily dance together (with a few missteps here and there but diluc is also the same) and pondered how their wedding would be like 

zhongli adds that he would rather have it at a garden instead and maybe just invite a few friends

diluc agrees and wonders how they’ll be able to share the apartment since diluc’s place was enough for him, bennett, and kaeya, while zhongli’s was the same

zhongli suggested to just buy a house instead and discussed the importance of each of their kids to have their own separate rooms since it “teaches about independence” 

they both also comment on having a nice kitchen, space in the living room in case a few guests were over, a table big enough to fit around 6 people since ganyu invites keqing a lot for dinner 

which reminds diluc, and asks if xiao and aether were together yet to which zhongli chuckles

“there’s no need to rush,” he smiles, “they’ll figure it out.” 

“like us?” diluc adds and gives him a kiss 

zhongli nods and smiles even more, pulling them closer to kiss his lover back

《♡》

and that's a wrap!

this all started with a coop with my friend and it all just...descended into this madness

special thanks to @valberryy and @chairagi for listening to my brainrot and helping me beta read this!

thank you for reading this series and i hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i did!!

there will still be a fanfic version of this that i'm gonna post on ao3 soon! and i'll post the link to that fic here as well

thank you again!

be sure to check out the previous parts here:

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Hey, Caro, can you please introduce us to that sweet beau, Lewis Hamilton?? He's a speed driver, right??

lemme talk about this champ and beautiful man — he is a must-know. 

lewis hamilton is a speed driver: in fact, the best racer in the world. with the fastest formula 1 lap in all history, and: if he wins this season (which has just started last week, your timing to get into this is perfect), lewis can boast a whopping 8 world championships. in short: you’re asking about the right guy. let’s go.

so i repeat, he won seven years (yeah, he’s a capricorn). which equals the current record holder, mister michael schumacher himself, i’m sure you heard of him. so, about time all the world knows more about this stunner as well, sir lewis carl davidson hamilton

lewis is so good and works his butt off so hard, he has more titles — he was knighted last year — and gigantic trophies than he can carry. since we’re talking f1 where drivers have to be light and agile inside the car, lewis is of course gloriously tiny, 5′7. so, the exhausted british short king on your news and twitter feed who walks around like this on a podium after doing 300 kilometers+ is dead sure to be him. can’t miss the guy.

wanna know more? lewis is an allrounder in every field and does everything what people say he can’t. unless he’s not somewhere modelling clothes being gorgeous (he collabs with tommy hilfiger for sustainable unisex collections)...

... taking care of his nieces or godson steve which regulary melts the f1 community...

... is using his favorite little scooter...

... showing up at the met gala as one of the few guys who really get the gist looking beautiful as always...

... playing with his cute crinkly bulldog roscoe who’s always by his side and F1′s most famously beloved driver pet...

...doing the absolute most with his activism and veganism — he even created his own plant-based restaurant chain — because as i said he’s a king, lewis never shies from taking a stand even if a lot of people hate him for it because it’s a white-dominated sport...

...or posts inspirational things that make you believe in yourself...

...lewis drives, can you guess:

for mercedes!

the #1 team which usually only red bull can currently challenge. which means he has a sexy, shiny, impossibly fantastic car — with his lucky number 44, that’s how you can spot it — that is almost always leading the field. if you see this on your sports tv channel on a saturday (qualifying) or sunday (race day), i assure you it’s lewis. 44, glossy black car, pole position, check. a great talent in a perfect car equals one hell of a winning streak.

— but if you ask me, the man is even sexier, cooler, and cuter and the real highlight. just so we’re clear on this. lewis is always a breath of fresh air. believe it or not: this guy is 35 (!!) years old. needless to say, prettiest fashion icon on the grid. and yes, he has amazing hair and tattoos.

killing it. 👍 lewis brings a presence to the grid.

who’s he making proud, then? now some notes on his circle, the people you spot him with. 

family hamilton first, who do we have: 

dad anthony, lewis’ former manager. at one point he worked 4 jobs so lewis could start his career in karting. carmen, his mom. linda, his stepmom, pictured below. his brother, nicolas, also a race driver. nicolas has a disability (cerebral palsy), he competes in the uk touring championship with a modified car since 2015. like nicolas, lewis is the only (!) black driver in his tournament and they are frequently sending out very important messages about it.

now for mercedes: accompanied he is by the calm and collected finnish valtteri bottas as his taciturn team colleague and runner-up champion. valtteri is the type to sit in a north pole sauna, lewis is ever-active, so they balance each other well. no trouble there, they’re a cool duo.

and i’m not kidding, valtteri is truly finnish. this is his twitter, summarized:

add the smart, austrian mercedes boss toto wolff who has the best height difference to him. these two get along very jokingly. where lewis goes, toto is not far. very dynamic duo, this is the success factory of formula 1.

while his most competitive love-hate relationship sparking the famous ‘silver war’ was retired german champion nico rosberg since day one. who came from priviledged backgrounds while lewis did not, they are the biggest team rivals of recent f1 times and people still talk about it. the ups and downs were huge but they sure had tremendous times as friends.

while the most smooth and consistent relationship — besides with roscoe — has got to be his bond with his whirlwind assistent/physio angela cullen! 

lewis credits her for so much and treats her reveringly. you haven’t seen anything like this, they are glued to each other.

lewis’ off-grid relationships come and go because he’s so busy, colleagues come and go all the time, but angela stays a constant. so if you’re asking about who the most important woman on the circuit is to lewis, that is his personal angel(a) indeed. look how wholesome.

i mean, a picture says it all.

last but not least. lewis’ best ever friend is german driver sebastian vettel (formerly ferrari, now aston martin, struggling a lot currently :/), former 4-time world champion. these two are THE match made in heaven and support goals. seb has the humor, lewis has the cheekiness, seb is a father, lewis has his uncle duties, it just fits. everybody should have a seb to their lewis.

(^this is vet having hurried to be the first one to congratulate lewis on his latest championship win)

so now you know more about sir lewis carl davidson hamilton! you will hear a lot from him this season, he’ll continue to champion many a cause, and be in the fast lane as always.

Wolf Evil Dead MC Book 4- Memes Part One

FEEL FREE TO CHANGE THE GENDER TO WHATEVER SUITS YOUR MUSE. WARNING LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE,  AND NSFW THEMES INCLUDING SEXUAL INNUENDO.

“You pushed me away. I pull you back.” “That’s our game. That’s always been out game, baby.” “And what’s more, it’s a game you like. And you know it’s a game I love.” “What the hell?” “Shh. It’s me baby.” “A coaster? Those are for people who put their drinks down.” “Be a doll and hand me a bottle of vodka.” “Which one? Cherry, pineapple, coconut...?” “Christ. Life was a lot simpler when there was only one flavor of vodka.” “Pick a flavor, ___. I want to go home sometime tonight.” “I’m thinking, I’m thinking.” “Well aren’t you just bein’ the worm in my tequila tonight.” “I don’t try to annoy people; it’s just a gift.” “Drink up, Cupcake.” “What the hell flavor did you pick?” “What the hell are we stocking this shit for?” “Pick another, shorty.” “Bet this is gonna taste like cough syrup.” “___, the way you drink, you’re going to shorten your life by ten years.” “That’s okay. I just want to live long enough to ride the scooter shopping cart at Walmart.” “I just had a visual of you trying to get your giant body in the scooter.” “Speaking of Walmart, does anyone else get road rage pushing a cart through that place? Or is it just me?” “That’s ‘cause you don’t know when to go.” “The best time is the middle of the night.” “Yep. That’s when you see all the best outfits. Just the other night I yelled at some guy, ‘Hey, dipshit! Shoes do not turn pajamas into pants’.” “Come here, you little spitfire.” “Let me go, you big brute.” “You know I kid, baby girl. I love you like a sister.” “Isn’t it time you went home to your wife?” “If our ol’ ladies could hear the next five seconds after we hit end on a call, we’d never get any pussy.” “What do women say when they actually are fine?” “Yeah, they like to get inside your head and rearrange the furniture.” “Trouble in paradise?” “She called me a stubborn ass!” “I’m not stubborn. My way is just always better.” “You know ___, some things just go perfectly together, like I told you so and sleeping on the couch.” “You finally figuring out that being right isn’t nearly as important as knowing when to shut up?” “Christ. Just shoot me now.” “With pleasure. No one wants to listen to you whine about your miserable life.” “Just shut up and become bitter and resentful like the rest of us.” “___’s going home to his wife. And what about you?” “I ain’t got a wife.” “No, but ___’s probably waiting on your ass.” “She’s a little pissed at me right now. But I guess that’s what I get for falling for a damned redhead.” “What’s wrong with redheads?” “You’re so full of shit, ___.” “If she wasn’t the firecracker she is, our ‘fearless leader’ here never would have looked twice.” “Firecracker. Yep. Just like you, darlin’.” “Not that I don’t appreciate how clean you keep this place, but go home, kid.” “You’re crazy, girl. But have at it.” “Uh-oh. She wants something, boss.” “Something I can do for you, darlin’?” “Name it, sweetheart.” “Move your ass so I can mop.” “You might need to spank her ass for talking to you like that, ___.” “You wouldn’t.” “Settle down. I’m kidding.” “She’d like it too much, anyway.” “___ been giving you anymore problems?” “You steer clear of him.” “Consider it tough love, babe.” “You deserve to be happy, ___.” “If ___’s not gonna step up for you, you need to let it go.” “I don’t think she’s lettin’ go.” “I don’t think either of them are. And that’s gonna end badly, ‘cause one of them is going to end up leaving. And we all know it’s not gonna be ___.” “Man that sucks. I like ___.” “Well, I’m taking’ off.” “Set your alarm. We got business to take care of in the morning.” “Why set my alarm when I can just wait until someone text me Where the hell are you?” “Get out of here, ___.” “Our grocery budget is pretty tight this month.” “You know tips down at the bar have been shit lately.” “Maybe it’s your attitude.” “Go get cleaned up. We’re going out tonight.” “___ says there’s a party up at the clubhouse tonight.” “You’re being an ass.” “You don’t have to do that darlin’.” “I’m so sorry. We were guest here. That shouldn’t have happened.” “Your man’s a dick.” “I’m beginning to see that.” “Why the hell are you with him?” “I’m starting to wonder that myself.” “It’s becoming apparent he’s just a braggart and a jerk.” “You’re the only one out of the three that gave a shit enough to apologize. And you didn’t even do anything.” “I’m so embarrassed they acted like that.” “Thanks for caring enough to do that but that’s not your responsibility.” “Still. I feel bad. Let me at least pick up the glass.” “Since your ride left, ___, will take you home.” “I did. Probably not after tonight.” “You got a place you can stay? A girlfriend or family?” “He rebuilt it for me for a birthday present.” “___ is kind of a gearhead.” “He give you the title?” “That’s a sweet ride, girl.” “___ and I can be real persuasive when we need to be.” “He signed it over to me?” “There’s a bill of sale in the glove box.”   “Your boyfriend’s a douche, darlin’.” “I don’t think he’s her boyfriend anymore, ___.” “Then hell, come on back to the clubhouse next weekend.”

I’m gonna turn this around on you.

Could I please have a couple of cute Jarley or Klaine headcanons because my period has ruined my day!!

Of course Jas! I’ll give you a little bit of both. I’m sorry to hear your days been shit, I hope you feel better soon 💗💗💗

Jarley

• This is based off of how Marley said that Jake and her went on a few dates before the Sadie Hawkins dance. One of these early dates was a stargazing. Jake googled constellations earlier in the week so he could do that cute thing where he grabs Marley’s hand and helps point her finger towards constellations. He was actually naming the wrong constellations the whole time, Marley noticed but she was touched by the thought he put into it and didn’t want to make him feel bad by correcting him.

• After the Wemma wedding, Jake decides to show Marley the poem that he wrote for her. She thinks it’s adorable how he was only able to rhyme her name with barley and teases him a bunch for it. His new nickname for her slowly becomes Barley.

• Jake teaches Marley how to do tricks on his razor scooter. She falls on her butt more times than she can count, but Jake insists that she’s doing great and is a fast learner. Jake ends up buying Marley her own razor scooter and they scoot (is that the word?) around the local park after school.

• Jake calls Marley when he’s having trouble going to bed. She would tell him about her day and gush or rant about whatever book she was reading at the moment. She always sings for him through the phone, Jake falls asleep to the sound of her voice.

Klaine

• Blaine surprised Kurt with tickets to a Madonna concert for his birthday. Kurt spent the months leading up to the concert planning both his and Blaines outfits. It didn’t hit Kurt that he was seeing his idol in person until she walked out on stage, causing him to cry happy tears.

• Kurt’s super into true crime and supernatural. During one of Blaines visits to New York, they take a tour of haunted locations throughout the city. Blaine tells Kurt that he’s okay with it but he’s actually scared as shit. The whole tour Blaine holds onto Kurts hand for dear life. Kurt messes around with him by saying that he sees shadows and is hearing whispers. This obviously freaks out Blaine even more and Kurt feels extremely bad. He apologizes to Blaine right away and promises him that they’ll stop for cronuts on the way back to the loft.

• Burt invited Blaine to all of their Friday night dinners after he finds out how much he helped Kurt out at McKinley. Blaine attends the dinner the Friday after him and Kurt become official, except Burt doesn’t know. They play footsie and Blaine accidentally kicks Finns leg. Finn’s like “Dude, what the hell was that for.” Blaine tries to play it off by saying “What was what for?” Finn replies saying “You just hit me with your foot.” Burt had suspicions, but this proved it. After dinner, Burt pulls Blaine aside and says something like “So you tell me to give my kid the talk and the next week you start playing footsie with him at my dinner table?” Blaines all flustered and tells him that it’s not what it looks like. Burt pats him on the back and tells him that he’s a good kid and would be happy for them if he was dating Kurt.

lost

sorry this is so long, i don’t know if it really makes sense but i was talking with him grandmother and she told me this story about how we went to the beach with the family and we went walking and it was late and high tide and we got absolutely completely lost and she didn’t speak great english and had no phone and we were just walking trying to find the hotel which all look the same while everyone was looking for us and that kinda inspired this story (lol sorry i feel like i do a lot of stories based on events that have happened to me so idk if that’s boring or not ill stop talking now tho)

Amelia quietly slipped out of bed once she realized her son was awake and babbling to himself, and she knew if she didn’t quickly attend to him, he’d start wailing causing the rest of the house to wake up. As much as she savored her sleep she enjoyed the early morning feeds, no one else was up, allowing her to be solely focused on her son. She quietly slipped out the back door to get settled on the lawn chair, and was startled when she saw Maureen, almost forgetting the two had come to visit.

“Good morning.” Maureen smiled, nursing her thermos of coffee.

“Morning.” Amelia reciprocated settling in the chair next to her.

“Hope you don’t mind I came back here. Eric is in a work call and I tend to distract him, and I just found myself out here.”

“No not at all.” The neurosurgeon responded truthfully as she guided her son to her breast, which he eagerly latched onto. “Thanks again for taking the kids for the day, it was much appreciated.”

“Of course. We had a great time with them.” The older woman smiled kindly, putting Amelia at ease. She tried so hard to make a good impression on her boyfriends parents and now felt at ease knowing they thought she was good enough for their son. “I don’t know how you and Link do it, especially in a pandemic. I mean you can’t take em to the park, museum, or anything.”

“Me either.” The woman absentmindedly chuckled, she was just taking it a day at a time. The women turned around once hearing the door open to reveal the oldest child.

“Auntie Amelia, I have a proposition for you.” Zola smiled as she walked further into the backyard still in her pajamas.

“A proposition huh?” The woman chuckled, it always impressed her when her niece would use a vocabulary word out of reach for a girl her age in the proper manner.

“Yep, I think we should not do school today, stay in our pjs, build a fort in the living room, and have a movie marathon.” The girl announced jumping on the balls of her feet, as much as Amelia wanted to oblige she knew she couldn’t.

“We can this weekend, but I’m sorry we can’t just not do school.”

“Ugh, but mom would let us.” This caused Amelia to laugh.

“We both know your mom would not in any capacity let you miss school if you weren’t sick.”

“It was worth a shot.” Zola shrugged.

“It was, but I’ll let you pick what we have for dinner tonight.”

“Pizza?”

“You’ve got it.”

“Do you think Link will still help me with my report.”

“I’m sure he’d love to, just let him sleep a bit more and once he wakes up ask him.” Zola nodded and ran back into the house, Amelia sighed in relief there wasn’t a tantrum.

“You’re good with kids, especially remediating a situation.” Maureen commented, admiring the younger woman more.

“I try.” Amelia chuckles, Maureen has only seen the kids well behaved and not in their tantrum state.

“So, I hate to be blunt, but my son doesn’t tell me a thing, are the two of you planning on getting married?”

“Oh, umm.” Amelia blushed awkwardly shifting her son. “Not at the moment, we’re going to wait until things calm down a bit.”

“As long as it’s in the cards.”

“I think it will be.” The neurosurgeon smiled, thinking about Links plans to get married in the French Quarter of New Orleans.

________________________________________

Bailey had an hour break before his next Zoom started up, so Link took the opportunity to take him out on their daily walk and get his energy out around the block while he tried to lull his son. This time though his father tagged along, he still had a lot of resentment towards his parents but was trying his best to be civil.

“That kid almost has as much energy as you did before..” Eric trailed off, but Link knew what he meant. Before his cancer tore his family apart, and made him a shell of the kid he was,but he was determined to only talk about the good things.

“Yeah he keeps Amelia and I on our toes.” Link quickly said, so no talk of his cancer came up.

“I know your upset with your mother and I, but we just want to help. And rebuild our family.” The ortho surgeon did his best to not roll his eyes at the statement, he couldn’t understand why they couldn’t have worked it out in the first place, why they decided to track along across multiple states during a global pandemic, and why they had to keep freaking his girlfriend out with the concept of marriage.

“I really don’t have the energy to talk about this right now, why don’t we just change the subject.” Before Eric could agree his sons phone started to ring. “Crap this is the hospital, I’ve gotta go in. Bailey! We gotta get home” He called up ahead to the boy who was scootering.

“It’s alright I’ll keep walking with them.”

“You sure?” The man asked wearily.

“Of course you know me I love a good walk.” He took the baby out of his sons arms and Link wrapped the baby snug across the older mans chest.

“Thanks dad!” He smiled as he jogged back to the house to grab his car and head to the hospital, while Eric caught up along side of Bailey as he turned another corner.

________________________________________

After Amelia finished helping Ellis with her math homework she realized it had been well over an hour since the boys had gone for their walk it typically lasted 40 minutes and the house was wearily quiet. She made her way downstairs to be met with Maureen folding the pile of laundry.

“Oh I’m sorry, you don’t have to do that.”

“Please, I don’t mind.”

“Do you know where the boys are?” Amelia asked feeling her anxiety start to rise as there was no indication of them being home.

“I assume they’re still walking, they haven’t walked in yet.” The neurosurgeon pulled out her phone and tapped on her boyfriends contact to be met with a scrub nurse who informed her, he was in fact scrubbing in on an emergency surgery.

“Link is at work.” Amelia informed Maureen rather confused, Link always told her before he left the house, but assumed he was so excited by the notion of a surgery and left the boys with his father.

“I’ll try Eric.” Once the older woman dialed the number they heard ringing coming from the coffee table where he left his phone. “I’m always telling him he needs to carry his phone around, he’s terrible with remembering it.” The woman huffed obviously starting to get a little startled.

“Okay.” Amelia took a deep breath. “I’m going to go look for them, would you mind staying with the girls?”

“Not at all.”

“Thanks.” Amelia quickly made her way towards the door and grabbed her keys from the hook, noting her boyfriend failed to bring the diaper bag as it was next to the door. Nonetheless she got into her car and tried the best to calm herself down, though all she could think about were worst case scenarios.

______________________________________

“Do you have any idea where we are?” Eric asked Bailey as he walked beside him, the boy had gotten tired and now just tracked the scooter along side them.

“No we usually don’t go this far.” Baileys fearless persona faltering, he assumed by this point he was late for class and was going to be in big trouble with his aunt and teacher.

“Everything kinda looks the same huh?”

“Yeah.” Bailey nodded nervously biting his nail, a habit he’d recently picked up from his aunt.

“Hey bud, it’s going to be fine we’ll find our way home.” Internally he was cursing himself for not bringing his phone along with him. After some more walking they found themselves on a street with convenience stores, Merediths house wasn’t far from the heart of Seattle but they were definitely far from where they were supposed to be. He was tempted to walk into a store and ask someone for directions but he didn’t have a mask and had two small children so that wasn’t an option. “Alright, let’s go back to that last street and make a left, maybe that right was a bad idea.”

“We’ll never get home.” Bailey said hopelessly.

“We will don’t worry about it.” And if things couldn’t get any worse the baby had started to fuss which in no time would turn into fill on crying.

Amelia slowly drove through the neighborhood looking for the three, not knowing she was on the opposite part of the neighborhood from them. Meanwhile after aimlessly walking and multiple turns Bailey started to recognize where they were and lead the way home.

“Where the hell have you been?” Maureen immediately asked as they walked through the door taking the now crying baby from her fiancé. “You need to have your phone on you!”

“Just strolling.” Eric responded nonchalantly.

“No we were lost. Really lost.” Bailey corrected as he ran into the kitchen to find something to eat since he missed lunch. Maureen followed taking out a bottle for Scout and calling her daughter in law informing her they were home, she heard a large sigh of relief through the other line.

Amelia happened to pull into the driveway the same time as Link, she wiped her stray tears as she had gotten herself into such a state and slammed her car door.

“Hey, where were you?” The ortho surgeon smiled brightly, he had just completed a rather simple surgery but just being in the OR at any capacity was heaven.

“Where was I? I don’t know, where was I?” Amelia chuckled on disbelief. “Where the hell were you? I spent two hours driving around trying to find your father and the boys.”

“What they never came home?” Link asked in a panic.

“They just did. They were lost and struggled to find their way home so they were aimlessly walking around while I aimlessly drove around in the wrong direction.”

“Damn it, how could my dad do this?” The man ran a stressed hand through his hair.

“This isn’t your dads fault it’s yours!”

“Huh?”

“Oh don’t act stupid. First you don’t even take the diaper bag in the walk with all the essentials and a first aid kit and then you up and leave for a surgery without even texting me.” The man was about to interject but Amelia held up her hand. “And you let your father continue the walk, even though the man has been to Seattle like two times and doesn’t know his way around.”

“I thought they were just gonna go the rest of the way up the block and back, and that he’d tell you where I went. That’s what Bailey and I do everyday.”

“Have you been living with Bailey for the past four months? Or has it just been me? Bailey will just keep riding that scooter no matter what and go any which way paying no attention to his surroundings, of course Eric is just gonna follow him around since it probably seemed he knew where he was going. You know what I can’t even look at you, I don’t want to say something I’m going to regret.” Amelia walked past him and quickly made her way into the house, to be met with her sons cries and quickly took the baby from Maureen cradling him closely, the baby immediately calming.

“I am so so sorry Amelia.” Eric apologized obviously upset.

“It’s not your fault.” Amelia forcefully smiled, she wasn’t entirely mad at him mostly at her boyfriend. Link then walked through the front door to be met with his mother scolding him.

“And what the hell were you thinking? Not telling anyone you were going to the hospital, and leaving your father with two kids in a place that’s foreign to him. Is surgery really all you can think about?” For the past couple of months he’d been complaining to his mother how much he hated not being able to operate.

“She would’ve done the same thing.” Link quickly pointed to his girlfriend who was cradling their son in the couch.

“What are we five?” Amelia asked when her boyfriend accused her in such a manner. “And I would’ve had the decency to tell you I was leaving and made sure you had the kids handled before I left.” Link backtracked and took a deep breath.

“Alright how about we just take a moment, they’ve been found so it’s fine.” The tired mother rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs with her baby, not in the mood for her boyfriends best case scenario talk.

“This could have been prevented by the both of you.” Maureen pointed to the two men who’s heads hung in shame.

“You should’ve made it clear to your father it was just up the block and back, and you should’ve texted the mother of your child.” She then directed her attention towards her husband. “And you need to pay more attention and keep your phone on you.”

“Sorry.” The two men answered in unison, ashamed to have messed up so greatly.

_______________________________________

The rest of the night was foreignly quiet, Bailey was exhausted and the couple was avoiding one another. After everyone had dinner together Maureen and Eric retreated back to the RV and the kids were all tucked in their beds. Once Link walked into the bedroom after his shower he sighed realizing Amelia wasn’t there. He quietly trekked into the nursery to be met with Amelia asleep in the rocking chair and her hand inside the crib, their sons hand was loosely holding her index finger. He would’ve smiled at the sight of he didn’t know what she was doing, her plan was to sleep in here tonight to avoid having to be in the same bed as him. He carefully removed her hand and picked her up out of the chair.

“Nooo.” Amelia sleepily groaned. “I’m sleeping in here.”

“No you’re not, your going to sleep in our bed.” He softly affirmed as he laid her down on her side of the bed. Once he moved to the other side of the bed and got settled his girlfriend was now wide awake and turned to face him.

“What happened today can never ever happen again.”

“It won’t I promise.”

“You know we’re so good at communicating within our relationship but not so great outside of it.” Link chuckled nodding in agreement. “You need to tell me when you get called in, and you need to let others know what the plan is, so they’re not getting lost in Seattle woth two small children.”

“I promise.” Link grabbed her hand in a reassuring manner. “I am so so sorry for what happened today, I was just so excited to be operating and I just lost my mind and didn’t think about anything outside of that operation.”

“I know this is hard for you, your not used to kids in the capacity that I am. You didn’t grow up in a loud house and you don’t have a large quantity of nieces and nephews. Your used to dealing with the occasional peds patient for like twenty minutes. I’m not saying your bad with kids I mean the peds floor loves you, it’s just this is a lot really quickly and non stop.”

“Wow you just articulated how I feel perfectly and I haven’t been able to even form a cohesive thought of what Im feeling.”

“Hmm, maybe that’s because you just sleep so you don’t have to think about feelings.” Link chuckled, sliding over to kiss her sweetly.

“I love you.” Link affirmed. “And I’m so sorry about today.”

“Tomorrow will be better.” Amelia agreed. “And I love you even more.”

“Impossible.”

Top 5 Songs From Taylor Swift’s Folklore and Why Everyone Should Listen to Them at least Once

By Prachi Bhatia

On June 24, 2020 Taylor Swift released her eighth studio album, Folklore. This sudden announcement made across all her social media accounts shocked the fans, mostly because it hadn’t even been a whole year since Swift’s seventh studio album Lover. And well, Miss Americana’s quarantine project paid off which was expected, but this was something extremely different than anything the 30 year old had ever put out. Folklore isn’t just about Swift (as we know her) and the various complexities of love and her experience with it, this time she played with made up fictional characters. We go on this journey and get to explore how their stories progress throughout the 16 tracks. Following are the top 5 tracks from what is considered to be Swift’s maturest work so far:

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5. Peace

The fifteenth track, Peace, produced by Aaron Dessner, is a song about not being able to give your all to a relationship despite your love for that person. Swift sings repeatedly throughout the track “would it be enough if I could never give you peace” which reflects upon her fame, what’s it like to be someone close to her and how she’s always being watched, from what she wears to who she’s with, this is evident further in the track where she sings “I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me” According to Swift and Dessner, this track also touches on the subject of mental illness and how it impacts an individual’s relationships (romantic or platonic). Swift talks about how in spite of the song being called “Peace” it’s not so much about that and that irony makes it even more amusing in a way.

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4. Mad Woman

Why is a woman only ever considered “mad” or “crazy” when she’s standing up for herself? The message of Folklore’s twelfth track is clear as day. This song is a direct reference to Swift’s feud with Scooter Braun regarding the ownership of her music. She described the production to be something that sounded a lot like “female rage” to her. From the beginning of the first verse itself she does not hold back, “does a scorpion sting when fighting back? they strike to kill and you know I will” And well she did not lie. She has been rerecording all her albums and Fearless (Taylor’s version) is out now everywhere.

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3. Betty

Young love is something so thrilling but also brings about so much pain especially because we hadn’t experienced any of it ever before. Betty is a song about young love and all its aspects from a perspective of a 17 year old boy, James. He seemed to have been unfaithful towards Betty and is realising and accepting his mistakes. “I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything but I know I miss you” has so much innocence to it, it’s hard to not feel sorry for the culprit himself. Swift goes back to her roots with this track, the production is very evocative of her older albums when she herself was quite young. This upbeat song is going to well up a tear or two whether you like it or not.

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2. This is Me Trying

Another track about Swift not being able to give a relationship her all but also just an individual’s failures and struggles caused by depression or some other mental illness. The lyricism on this track is so brilliant that no one should be allowed to skip it. If “and it’s hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound” doesn’t make you roll up in ball and cry your eyes out have you truly struggled? Not being able to take part in everyday activities or even be in a room full of people just because you’re not in a good state of mind is something each and everyone of us can relate to.

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1. Seven

This track is reminiscent of Swift’s childhood in Pennsylvania and a friend who had a troubled home life. “And though I can’t recall your face, I still got love for you” She seemed to have forgotten her face but she remembers what her company made her feel like. Swift talked about how this track reminded her of a little kid throwing a tantrum at a supermarket. “Passed down like folk songs, our love lasts so long” Just like folklores and folk songs, Swift’s love for this friend has not been lost and will last forever.

Something that came into my mind today: Faces family, but with the addition of baby Peter (Sealand) to the family!! :D Would you happen to have headcanons for their family dynamic?

The more the merrier! 😂

I can’t even imagine how jealous Michelle would be! She loves attention and since she’s young she’s constantly trying to get approval from Arthur especially. She loves her dad! And now that baby Peter is taking up so much of dad and papa’s time she’s NOT happy!!!! Not at all!! And she also does not want another boy in the house, she had a full blown tantrum when she found out that she was getting ANOTHER brother!! Arthur had to hold her for hours to calm her down “Oh come on poppet, hes just a baby...Youll think hes so cute and I think you’re going to be a great big sister” “I don’t want another boy, dad I’m tired of boys!!!”

^^she gets over it within a week or so cause turns out being an older sister is...pretty cool. She likes when baby Peter laughs and she tries everything she can to make him! Fran and Artie are so relieved that she got over her phase so quickly

Matthew is the oldest so hes dealt with little siblings many times now! He really likes babies so having Peter around now makes him very happy! He gets to brag about his new baby brother at school, he’s old enough to be allowed to hold him and he’s in charge of picking up pacifiers off the ground and putting them in the sink when he finds them! Papa is very proud of him for helping out so much :) Matt loves his siblings and he loved Peter the second he saw him!

^^Matt was the first one to learn about getting a new sibling. Francis and arth it we’re worried about him feeling neglected or left out so they took him to lunch at his favorite restaurant (iHop) and asked him how he would feel about getting a new baby brother! Matt was overjoyed and almost cried! They all shared a big hug and went home to call a family meeting to tell the others

Alfred’s pretty happy about it! He sees it as his duty to teach Peter all about sports and riding scooters at the skate park and sneaking candy into your room when you’re not supposed to have it. However Alfred is naturally rough as a kid, he messes around and throws things and acts a fool. He would never ever hurt Peter on purpose but he gets yelled at a few dozen times for playing too rough with his brother and then papa comes and takes Peter away. How rude!

Francis and Arthur are kinda used to babies by now so when Peter screeches in the middle of the night, they play ‘rock paper scissors’ to see who has to go rock him back to sleep. Francis usually wins cause in Arthur’s half-awake brain he forgets that paper beats rock....Dammit!

Four kids are a lot to manage! But they have a system. Peter gets strapped to Arthurs chest in the morning while he gets ready. Francis gets the other kids ready for school, makes breakfast and school lunches. Arthur hands Peter off to Francis before taking the kids to school. Francis puts Peter in his crib while he gets ready for work and plays with him until Grandma Kirkland gets there to watch him. Then he goes to work. Mornings in the Kirkland-Bonnefoy household are so chaotic but it’s a SYSTEM!!! Grandma Kirkland is always appalled by the stack of dishes in the sink and the amount of baby toys scattered across the livingroom

Peter is not very high maintenance. Matthew was a very quiet baby, Michelle screamed again everything and Alfred went through a two month phase where he just enjoyed hitting people. Peter isn’t like his siblings at all in that sense. He cries but not a lot, he rarely screams, he doesn’t hit people but he slaps his hands on the table or couch to get his parents’ attention. By the time he starts walking around the house he’s the WORST cause he’ll hide!!! Que the whole family flipping out and running around trying to find him! Peter laughs so hard when he’s found and everyone is peeeeeeved!! Stop it!! Stop hiding where we can’t hear you it’s scary!!

The dynamic of bedrooms is messed up when they bring Peter home cause....Matt and Al already share a room and Michelle has a room to herself. Arthur’s study is upstairs but if they get rid of that, Arthur can’t work from home, he relies on his supplies. Their basement isnt finished and they don’t have rooms on the main floor other than the kitchen and livingroom which are pretty much one big connected room. So for now Peter stays in Michelle’s room. He tries to eat Barbie shoes...

Because they now have four kids, Francis and Arthur need a new car that they can fit them in. Francis has done so much for this family. Technically (but also not really) he’s the breadwinner, he shops for groceries and cooks for everyone. He draws the line at driving a minivan around town, his ego just won’t allow him to look like a soccer mom. Therefore poor Arthur is stuck driving a minivan in to work and all of his lawyer buddies make fun of him

Peter plays more with Michelle than he does with Al and Matt since they’re always playing the Wii. He and Michelle like playing with blocks, stickers and Hungry Hungry Hippo :) Peter always loses HHH but he laughs and laughs while they play cause the hippies are just so funny!

Michelle cut peters hair one time and got in so much trouble it was unbelievable. “Michelle!! Peter finally grew hair and you cut it off! What on earth were you thinking!” “I miss when he was bald!” “Michelle Jeanne!” And ooooh boy when her dads whip out her middle name...she knows she’s in trouble

^^Speaking Ig middle names, Arthur wanted Peter’s middle name to be ‘Griffin’ cause Arthurs brother’s name is griffin and he wanted to be respectful and carry that name on but Francis would not stop wheezing “Arthur we can’t name our boy PETER GRIFFIN have you gone mad????? PETER GRIFFIN!-“ he laughed for hours and Arthur just sat there fuming while he did. They settled on Peter William Kirkland-Bonnefoy...William was another Kirkland brother so this was fine.

^^Its only fair now they’ve got two kids with English names and two with French, it works out perfect

Istfg....Peter Griffin...

The One Who Hurt You

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: Some of you may be able to tell from the title, but this fic is referring to the song “Ano Hi Kimi wo Kizutsuketa no wa” (I know, I know, it’s from Killer Tunes, ssh ^-^;). I just got this idea from Dorobune lately and it matched too well to not use it. Also, I’m never sure whenever to point this out or not, but there is slight mention of mental health issues in this fic, just so you know.

On a more personal note, I’m sorry I didn’t post anything in quite a while already. I’ll try to be a little more active again soon (^-^)

„Can you come over?“, Shou asked without introduction. He sounded breathless.

Yutaka tilted back his head and stared at the ceiling.

He didn’t feel like going over to Shou’s place tonight. He hadn’t felt like picking up the phone to begin with.

But he had told himself, that it might be something important. Something about Shou’s health, or news from Jun, or some infection among the staff members. He hadn’t dared to decline the call, although he wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Shou.

“Maybe another time”, Yutaka suggested. “Let’s make plans for the next time you are free.”

He couldn’t help sounding bitter. They all had a lot of free time recently, but still, Shou always seemed too busy to meet up. Yutaka understood that everyone had a different way of copying with the situation, but he was mad at Shou anyway. He had cancelled their dates one time too often lately.

“I meant more like now”, Shou said.

Yutaka checked for the time and sighed.

He had planned on a lazy evening all by himself. His intention had been to pity himself throughout for not receiving enough attention from his boyfriend and not knowing what to do with himself either. Maybe, he would have gotten a little drunk, too.

He considered how long it would take him to find his motivation, take a shower, maybe eat something, because Shou’s refrigerator was always poorly stocked and drive over.

“I can be there in like two or three hours”, he admitted.

He didn’t quite understand, why he was always the one to give in, when Shou on the other hand was allowed to cancel their plans last minute without so much as a proper explanation.

“No, Yutaka, I mean now”, Shou sounded urgent. Yutaka felt the old, familiar ball of panic rising within his chest. It tasted sour at the back of his throat.

He remembered the panic, back from when they had been nothing but friends, way before they became popular. Every time Yutaka’s phone had rung, he had flinched. When it was Shou, he had panicked. When it was the number of a stranger, or someone who knew Shou, Yutaka had panicked, too. Shou had been unstable back then and even now, that his mental health had improved, Yutaka had never really gotten over the fear of loosing him. Ever since the pandemic had started, the fear had become more acute again. He wasn’t sure how well Shou was doing and the fact that he closed down on him, caused Yutaka to worry even more. Not being able to meet with Shou, didn’t just anger him, because he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend. It made him feel anxious, when he wasn’t able to check on him regularly. He felt helpless then, having to watch from the outside but unable to interfere, because Shou just wouldn’t let him in.

“Has something happened?”, he wanted to know, trying to sound calm. Shou would feel bad, if he knew how much Yutaka worried; worried so much that he wished to rip open his chest and close his hand around his heart to physically stop the panicked pounding.

“I’m fine”, Shou said, but his voice sounded funny, somehow flat like it usually did when he was stressed or distracted.

Yutaka had learned to read his voice over the years, because it was actually more telling than his face. Whenever they talked, Yutaka kept scanning his voice for little warn signals, for red flags that would tell him if he needed to act.

Although Shou sounded stress, he didn’t seem at the verge of a nervous breakdown yet, so Yutaka decided to aim for a compromise.

“I’ll take a shower and drive over immediately. I’ll be there in an hour and we order takeout?”, he suggested.

Shou was silent for a moment.

“No, please”, he said. “Come here right away. I don’t care if you’re showered or not.”

Yutaka bit his lower lip. Maybe he had been mistaken. Maybe Shou was closer to a meltdown than he thought. But then, why wouldn’t he tell him right away?

“Are you sure there is nothing wrong?”, he assured.

“Don’t worry”, Shou said. “Just come here as fast as possible. Please.”

He was practically begging now, something that was extremely rare for him. Shou didn’t like using the word “please”. He didn’t like to ask something of other people, even if it was Yutaka. He was better at apologizing.

“Okay, I’m on my way”, Yutaka said and suddenly felt angry at himself.

He had promised himself to not let Shou walk all over him any longer. If he cancelled on Yutaka without explanation, Yutaka shouldn’t rush out to meet him, as soon as Shou called. He wasn’t a dog. He had wanted to explain to Shou, that he couldn’t treat him like that. He had wanted to tell him, that he would need to make an effort, too, if he wanted their relationship to continue.

But old habits were hard to overcome and all that Yutaka could think of was the pale, gloomy kid Shou used to be, always so very close to breaking. Every time Shou called him to his side, Yutaka was unable to decline, because the blood rushing through his ears seemed to turn into a whisper of “What if it’s a relapse? What if this time it’s a relapse and you are not there?”

“Thank you”, Shou said quietly.

Yutaka held on to the phone a bit longer, listening to the silence at the other end of the line. He wanted to make sure he did not miss any meaning hidden in it.

“Don’t just sit there, get going!”, Shou exclaimed finally and started laughing.

“Okay, okay”, Yutaka huffed out, annoyed that Shou acted like he just didn’t hang up, so he wouldn’t have to leave the house. All the same, he was also relieved Shou sounded lighter now, his scolding nothing but a tease. He didn’t sound like he was close to breaking.

“See you soon”, Yutaka added, then he hung up.

He got up and tried to stay calm. There was no point in rushing out the door. He needed his keys and his helmet. If he stormed out senselessly and forgot something, he’d only waste time by having to come back up.

He considered changing into a proper pair of pants, but than it wasn’t like Shou would care. He usually looked unfashionable whenever they met.

Yutaka breathed in deeply while he put on his shoes.

Over the years he had learned to calm himself. There was no point in letting Shou see how unsettled he was. It only made Shou pull back harder, worried to bother Yutaka. It had turned out that appearing relaxed and almost a little brash was what put Shou at ease the most. Sometimes, he needed Yutaka to speak to him firmly, so he got it together again. By now, Yutaka had gotten quite good at finding the right balance of caring for Shou without letting his own panic show. Shou had no idea how scared Yutaka was, whenever he texted him in the middle of the night, or when he didn’t pick up his calls several times in a row.

It hadn’t been like this when they were still on tour together and Yutaka could keep his eyes on Shou at least every other day. But the lockdown had made the old fear kick back in. Yutaka felt the pressure of the forced isolation and the unpredictability of the coming months weighting down on himself as well, and Shou had always been the more sensitive one.

He put on his helmet and swung himself onto his scooter. Luckily Shou’s place was close by. It had been one of the reasons Yutaka had decided to rent this apartment after all, although he hadn’t told Shou back then. Their relationship had still been too fresh. He had claimed the reason for his moving was the need for a bigger place. By now, Shou seemed glad about the short distance, too.

Yutaka forced himself to focus on the traffic. He had to fight the urge to skip red lights and cut in on the cars on the road. He wanted to be at Shou’s place as fast as possible, but he had to get there alive.

He’d feel calmer, if Shou would agree to see a professional, at least while the measurements were in place and they weren’t able to continue their tour. It was Yutaka, who had coaxed Shou into trying therapy for the first time, too, but unfortunately, Shou had not been too convinced by the results. He had written it off as pointless. Yutaka would be relieved, though, if a professional kept looking for warn signs, too, and it wasn’t all up to him to carry the burden. Maybe, he’d be able to sleep more peacefully at night again.

He pulled up in front of Shou’s apartment building, taking in another deep breath. There was no need to worry Shou even more with his own panic. He had to be calm. He had to be the stable one, so Shou could hold on to him, when he stumbled.

Yutaka climbed the stairs. He could have taken the elevator, but he didn’t like to stand idle with his thoughts, when he felt like this. As long as he focused on walking, his brain wouldn’t produce pictures of what he might find. He thought of Shou’s first apartment. Small, messy, the blinds always drawn by day and night as if Shou was scared of what the light might exposed. Yutaka had always felt uncomfortable visiting him there. Not that his friends from university had lived in more luxurious places back then. But Shou’s apartment had always radiated the sadness of an animal cage that was too small for its inhabitant. He knew Shou had had troubles leaving the house on some days. That was why he had always thought of the place as a cage and avoided visiting Shou in it. Even today, although Shou had moved several times and was in a much better mental state, Yutaka felt queasy whenever he approached his front door. He was scared, that someday Shou would open and Yutaka would find his apartment had turned into a cage again.

He rang the doorbell.

It took quite some time, until he even heard noise from the other side. Yutaka wished he had a key. He hadn’t brought himself to ask about it yet.

Then the door was opened and he stared into Shou’s face. For a moment, Yutaka felt like his heart just stopped beating. There it was, his worst nightmare. He felt horrified and oddly relieved. At least, he’d be allowed to stop searching Shou’s face for hints now. Everything was open on display.

Shou’s eyes were red and swollen and filled with tears. He had obviously been crying until just now. His nose was running, too, and he made weird sniffling noises. His hair was in dismay as if he had tried to get it out of his face angrily and then forgotten to straighten it out again. Red stains were showing on his cheeks like it always happened to him when he was stressed or just got emotionally worked up.

He looked upset and puffy and Yutaka knew, that someone had hurt him. He had seen Shou hurt so many times already, by girls who had not returned his love, by colleagues whom Shou deemed better than himself, by so-called fans who had been nothing but cruel and too demanding.

Yutaka stepped inside, closed the door behind himself, so no one would be able to spot them and pulled Shou into an embrace. He wrapped his arms around him and held him without the intention of ever letting go.

To his surprise Shou leaned into him, wrapping his arms around Yutaka’s waist and allowed himself to be held, which usually happened quite rarely.

Yutaka inhaled deeply. Shou’s hair smelled smoky as if he had been roasting something. Yutaka wondered if he needed to worry. Had Shou set something on fire in his own apartment and the shock had upset him this much?

“Hey”, Yutaka whispered, still holding on to Shou.

They were about the same height and he could rest his head against Shou’s neck comfortably. Sometimes, Yutaka wished to be taller. If he was as tall and buff as Kenji, he’d be able to make Shou feel small and safe. He knew that it would not help him fight off all the invisible enemies Shou was struggling with, but maybe he’d feel better, if at least he was able to protect Shou physically. Maybe it would make him feel a little less helpless.

“What happened?”, he asked lowly.

“Ah.” Shou pulled back and chuckled. He reached up to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. “It’s nothing. Not what you think. I’m fine.”

He managed a smile, exposing his gappy teeth. His mind seemed to be elsewhere, though.

“Hey”, Yutaka repeated, taking hold of Shou’s hands. He held them in his own for a moment, turning them around, so Shou’s palms were pointing up. He gently trailed his fingers up Shou’s arms, in a gesture that was meant to be tender, but again, he could only concentrate on the sound of his own blood that rushed so loudly in his ears all of a sudden.

He knew exactly what he was doing, what he was doing currently whenever he met with Shou. Their sex had turned too desperate and too greedy, too, because Yutaka got impatient to tear off Shou’s clothes. Lately, Shou had pulled back from him a little and often enough, Yutaka had had to go home after receiving only so much as a kiss. Shou could sense the fear that drove Yutaka, even if he might not understand what he was doing. But Yutaka felt overwhelmed lately, almost shaking with the desire to assure that Shou was alright. He needed to inspect his skin, make sure no marks or bruises were to be found anywhere. Shou’s phase of self-harm hadn’t lasted long. It was Yutaka, who had never gotten over it. Maybe Shou wasn’t even aware Yutaka had noticed back then, so he couldn’t guess what he was searching his body for now. Yutaka’s greed had to remain incomprehensible to him, and whenever Yutaka found no traces on Shou’s skin, he turned tender, almost compulsively so. The relief made him want to cherish every part of Shou’s body and he wanted to wrap himself around him, to make sure no one harmed him ever again.

“Tell me, who hurt you”, Yutaka inquired. “I’ll punch them in the face. This time I’ll do it, I swear.”

Shou laughed quietly and pulled back his hands from Yutaka’s grip.

Yutaka was glad to hear him laugh, although he had been absolutely serious about his words. It had never been Yutaka, who hurt Shou, but it was his duty to protect him anyway. He’d make sure he was alright and that he had a reason to smile and laugh every single day.

“You won’t”, Shou said with a gentle sternness. “Now, come in. But give me another moment, you got here faster than I expected.”

He led Yutaka to the living room area, that wasn’t so much a living room as a working space, because obviously those two things went together for Shou. The desk with the technical equipment took up a large part of the room. Yutaka couldn’t understand why Shou didn’t search for a bigger apartment. Everything here looked cluttered. He wasn’t very good at dividing his space economical, either.

“Just wait here, okay?”, Shou asked and gestured for him to sit down somewhere at the low table. “I’ll be right back with you, then we can talk.”

Shou wiped his eyes again, then he turned around and disappeared into the kitchen. His kitchen wasn’t really a separate room, but rather a part of the apartment that was separated from the rest of the living room through a divider. Yutaka wasn’t able to see Shou, but he heard clattering and a low sizzling. He wondered if he had arrived so early, that he had interrupted Shou’s dinner plans. It would explain the burnt smell.

Yutaka looked around the room and tried not to think of Shou’s red and puffy eyes.

He had clearly not expected Yutaka yet. Obviously, he had pointed that out to indicate he would have forced himself to be calmer already otherwise. The thought hurt. Had Yutaka gotten here a little later, Shou would have done his best to cover up the distress he was in. He would never expose his vulnerability to him. Yutaka would always have to guess and worry, if he was able to catch up on the hints in time to protect him. Shou wouldn’t ask for help, even if he needed it. It was all up to Yutaka.

He wondered, if it would have been better to confront Shou immediately. But he wanted to give him time to collect himself.

He was probably cleaning up the kitchen just now, trying to come up with the right words to explain to Yutaka, what had happened. He’d wash his face in the kitchen sink. His cheeks would be very red from the cold water and his eyes would look somewhat less puffy. He’d try to seem collected and Yutaka would pretend he was, to leave Shou with the feeling of dignity he obviously needed to open up to him at all.

Maybe giving him that much space was the problem, though. It gave Shou the time to recoil again and again and maybe Yutaka would never get through to him like this.

A loud clattering came from the kitchen and then Shou swore so heartily that it nearly made Yutaka flinch. Shou wasn’t exactly using polite language around him usually, but outbreaks like these were surprising for him anyway.

Yutaka decided that he had worried enough for today.

When he had seen Shou on the doorstep, all of his anger had vanished. He had only wanted to protect him. But now, he was here, after Shou had called him and begged him to come, making Yutaka worry. And then he had opened the door crying, worrying Yutaka even more, only to place him here alone in his living room, as if Yutaka’s worries and feelings didn’t matter at all.

He got up and walked over to the kitchen area, determined not to let Shou get away with it this time.

Shou had his back to him. The water was running, but he stood in front of the sink without moving. Yutaka took that as a very bad sign. Shou seemed to be dissociating.

“Who made you cry?”, Yutaka asked, not nearly as gentle as he had intended.

Shou shook his head without turning around. He finally turned off the water, though. Yutaka heard he make a sniffling sound again.

“It’s embarrassing”, Shou said quietly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You can’t call me over here crying and then have me sit around calmly without getting an explanation”, Yutaka said loudly, this time sounding angry for real. He wished he had his voice under control not to daunt Shou. But he was angry and most of all, he was very, very scared. “What happened? I can’t help you, if you don’t tell me who hurt you. Who made you cry?”

Shou turned around. For some reason, he was clenching a plastic box filled with mushrooms to his chest. His cheeks were even redder than before.

Accusingly he lifted his arm and pointed over to the countertop next to the stove.

“That!”, he shouted. “That made me cry, okay?”

Yutaka turned his head slowly. On the countertop sat a grater and half an onion.

“I was grating onions. You know it always makes me cry.”

Yutaka stared at the remains of the onion for a while. He realized he’d look pretty ridiculous, trying to punch it.

He turned back to Shou.

“But you seemed so stressed”, he insisted.

“I am stressed!”, Shou exclaimed. Now he was the one unable to keep his voice down. He gestured around the kitchen. “Look at this mess.”

He held up the mushrooms before slamming them down onto the countertop as well.

Yutaka now noticed the pan sitting on the stove. It contained pieces of meat. The meat was nearly black. It still smelled burnt inside the whole apartment.

“Wait”, Yutaka said slowly. “You were trying to cook? For us?”

Shou crossed the arms in front of his chest. He always looked defensive when he did.

“You got here too early. It wasn’t ready yet. And while I opened the door, the meat got burnt.”

Yutaka looked down onto the pan and slowly shook his head.

“So, this is why you called me over?”, he assured. He wasn’t sure if he ought to feel relieved or even more angry. He was too baffled to feel either. “You begged me to come here as soon as possible … for dinner?”

Shou shrugged, pouting slightly. It made his full lips look pretty, especially with his cheeks this flushed. Yutaka was determined not to get drawn in by it, though.

“You wanted to be here only in an hour”, Shou muttered. “I had already started. I was worried the food would grow cold. You had to come right away.”

Yutaka nearly wanted to laugh, but he still felt something like an unpleasant afterglow in his chest. Even if he knew that there was no acute danger in sight, the fear didn’t just disappear from that knowledge. It clenched his bones a little longer with the cold sensation of panic. Even if his brain knew that Shou was currently safe, Yutaka’s body hadn’t accepted that reality yet. He still felt too shaken to forgive Shou this easily.

“You can’t do that to me”, he said. He had wanted to say that for so many weeks already. Every time Shou cancelled their meetings last minute, every time he called him when actually he should be asleep, every time he seemed a little too moody and recoiled from Yutaka’s touch. Shou couldn’t do that to him without explanation, because then Yutaka’s mind went into overdrive and he imagined him hurt and caged in and possibly gone forever.

“You can’t just call me over like something is wrong and then stand there crying and expect me to be okay with that”, he went on. “Because I worry about you so much. It scares me.”

Yutaka inhaled shakily. The words were out at last. He didn’t want to sound accusing or like he was blaming Shou for being sensitive. But it was important for him to know, that Yutaka needed more from him.

Shou looked up. His dark eyes were kind and pained. They were clear, though, not teary at all.

“I know”, he said softly. “I know you worry. I’ve been an awful boyfriend lately. I need time for myself to process everything that’s going on currently. But that doesn’t mean I’m not able to handle it. I’m sorry, I cancelled on you so often lately. I wanted to do something nice for you today. I thought it would make you happy, if I cooked for you.”

He gestured around the kitchen helplessly.

“But I’m godawful at it. I wanted to prove to you, that I’m doing alright and that I’m able to take care of myself. But I was wrong. I can’t take care of myself.”

He sniffled quietly once more.

“Fuck, I don’t even know if you need to wash mushrooms or not.”

“Shou”, Yutaka said gently and took a step towards him. He reached out hesitantly, touching Shou’s cheek lightly. His skin felt very hot to the touch. “You know, it’s not your cooking skills I’m worried about.”

Shou closed his eyes. For a few seconds, he looked peaceful.

“I am okay”, he said. He spoke quietly, but very firm. He opened his eyes again, looking right at Yutaka. “You need to believe me, when I tell you that.”

Yutaka hesitated.

“I just remember how it used to be, before the band worked out for us”, he admitted. “Remembering you that unstable frightens me. With everything that’s going on … everyone is stressed.”

Shou nodded.

“I know. But I’m a lot stronger now than I was back then. I’m not loving the current situation, but it’s not bothering me that badly, either.”

He took Yutaka’s hand, placing it against his neck and holding it there.

“Back then my whole future was insecure. I was scared of where I was going”, he continued. “But you know I have savings now.”

His grin looked out of place for their serious conversation, too boyish and gleeful. Yutaka found himself smiling in return.

“I know I won’t end up on the street. And back then, I was heartbroken, too. Now, I’m in a happy, fulfilling relationship and I have a loving boyfriend, who supports me.”

He leaned in and his lips brushed against Yutaka’s, a very light and very quick kiss, before he pulled back again.

“So, you’ll ask for help?”, Yutaka asked, still full of doubt. “If you need it?”

“Please, trust me”, Shou repeated, giving Yutaka’s hand a light squeeze. “You don’t have to look out so closely. If something is wrong, I’ll tell you.”

“I want to protect you”, Yutaka whispered hoarsely.

“I’ll let you.” Shou’s reply came immediately.

Yutaka exhaled, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Shou’s. Sometimes, it was nice they shared the same height. Maybe there was no need for being taller after all.

He closed his eyes.

“But you know”, he said quietly. “I have another confession to make.”

Shou hummed under his breath questioningly.

“I also don’t know if you need to wash mushrooms or not.”

Shou broke into a laugh, his body trembling against Yutaka gently. He was still holding on to his neck.

“So, what are we going to do?”, he asked. “You actually don’t seem very helpful.”

“Don’t worry”, Yutaka said and finally opened his eyes to pull back. “I might not be able to protect you from everything myself. But I know who can.”

Shou raised his eyebrows. Yutaka grinned triumphantly.

“Uber Eats.”

folklore - a reading

If you’re a swiftie (officially not capitalized now), like me, you’ve probably been experiencing the mystical reverb and spiritual reckoning that is folklore. You’ve also probably been reading plenty of reviews and analysis articles--there are some stellar articles out there already.

Listening to the album is like lying in a meadow over the course of a summer day, afternoon thunderstorm, and the harsh sunset that comes afterwards, spiraling through memories and contemplation. It’s the best of the worst feelings you’ll ever have, and you can’t stop.

So, compulsively, I had to share my own interpretations and thoughts as I listen to the album again for the 7th time.

the 1 - Starting out with just piano, and then turning into what feels like a casual bop, the attitude of this song starts out very ‘I Forgot That You Existed’. And we hold onto that cavalier, ‘oh well’ attitude until... UNTIL. “If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.” That line starts the slow ache that builds through the end of the track and makes this song much more more layered and complex than the first song of Lover. Perhaps this is a more honest version of the same feeling. Swift digs deep into that nostalgic feeling, letting us vibe to the wistful wishing at the same time. And of course, there is foreshadowing in the lyrics--film, graves, rose, chosen-family, painting. All of these reappear later on in various songs on the album, and some have been themes from earlier albums, too (especially graves).

Highlight lyric: “In my defense I have none // for digging up the grave another time.”

cardigan - We start with a beat that sounds reminiscent of “high heels on cobblestones,” and it emphasizes this early imagery. Being young is one of the major themes of this song, even though it’s also part of the triptych of songs about a love triangle. The nostalgia feels more specific to young love generally than to the specific lover, asking us to wonder why we judge the young perspective so harshly. The song is an anthem to how much she knew about love, including the pain of it, despite what people say. Swift has shown a special appreciation for the wisdom and raw experience of youth, and this song is another classic defense of the teenage experience. The metaphors in this song are classic Swift, and the structure of this song is reminiscent of ‘All Too Well’--the chorus lyrics change just a bit each time, and we get a powerful, gut-punch verse at the end.

Highlight lyric: “I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs // the smoke would hang around this long // cause I knew everything when I was young.”

the last great american dynasty - ‘The Man’ was probably Swift’s first real feminist anthem, directly stating how sexism affects her career and the perception people have of her. But this song gets at feminism from another perspective. First of all, she’s telling the story of Rebekah Harkness, who was the heiress that lived in her Rhode Island mansion before her. She was a trouble-maker in her town, blamed for her husband’s death and for ruining the calm status quo of the old money neighborhood. It’s completely apparent that Swift relates to this experience, and she likely knew some of this story before she purchased her home. In telling the story of a powerful, interesting woman, Taylor is rebelling against the patriarchy in a slightly subtler way than her previous songs--though she still makes her point pretty clear. Swift cares about the herstory of her home, and she’s made this story iconic by including it on her album. It’s like she took the idea of ‘Starlight,’ but instead of retelling a happy love story, she used her powers for an even more important tale. Now, there are also two potential connections to note: Rebekah also went by Betty, and her maiden name was West. Just remember that. And of course, the theme of the mad woman returns later as well.

Highlight lyric: “who knows if I never showed up what would have been // there goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen // she had a marvelous time ruining everything.”

exile - I like to imagine this song as the follow up to ‘The Last Time,’ from Red. Both are duets, and they both have relatively simple, but strong chords as the primary musical backdrop. Where ‘The Last Time’ depicts a relationship at the cusp, moments before their final conversation, ‘exile’ is post break-up. She’s out with someone new, and we understand this is an unspoken conversation across a room. And the vibe of the songs fit with this progression perfectly. ‘The Last Time’ feels like anxious desperation, but exile feels heavy and depressingly final. We revisit the film motif, and there’s some potential connection to the archived ‘If This Was A Movie’. Now, is that intentional, or does Swift just really like movie imagery? Does it matter? The build in this song is arguably the best on the album, which I think is partly due to the style of the musicality, and partly because it’s helpful to have a lower voice to mix it up. This song sounds the least ‘Swift-esque’ to me--reminds me of Damien Rice most of all--but it still fits beautifully into the album. Also, lots of callbacks in here--town and crown are used a LOT in her prior albums. A few examples: “You traded your baseball cap for a crown” in ‘Long Live’, “They took the crown but it's alright” in ‘Call it What You Want,’ “Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town” in ‘False God.’ Now, again, these could just be words that she loves to use (they also rhyme with a lot), or there could be some deeper connections. I’m guessing it’s somewhere in the middle.

highlight lyric: “second, third, and hundredth chances // balancin' on breaking branches // those eyes add insult to injury”

my tears ricochet - I’ll admit this song had to grow on me a little bit. Why? Well, I don’t love revenge-ballads. But, this is much more complex than LWYMMD, and like the rest of the album, it centers the more vulnerable side of her anger. This song is 100% about Big Machine Records and Scooter Braun. The funeral is for her--or the version of herself that died just before Reputation--and she is back as a ghost (or another version of herself) to haunt those who caused her death. It’s slow, moody, haunted... Everything you want from a bitter funeral march. The best part of this song is that she doesn’t solely pass blame. She shows off her self-awareness, which has become more common in all her music since 1989, but still very clearly places responsibility on Scooter for her ‘stolen lullabies’ (i.e. her masters). Swift claims this song is about young love gone wrong--but, death is a pretty intense metaphor, and given that she blatantly used it (for the first, and maybe only time?) to talk about her career, I don’t think anyone is buying it.

highlight lyric: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace // and you’re the hero flying around saving face”

mirrorball - Maybe I’m just a biased toward romantic and nostalgic songs, because I don’t love this one either. (I’m sorry!) But, here’s what I’ll say: this song is still exquisite. It reminds me of the reverb-radio-vibe of the late 80s songs, but with the astral, saccharine flavor of the rest of the album. If you condensed the Miss Americana documentary into a song, this would be it. A reflection (get it?) of fame and her desire to be everything to everyone--to be well liked, to be the center of attention. The coolest thing about ‘mirrorball,’ to me, is that she hasn’t written a song quite like this before. It’s sort of a manic-pixie-dream-girl version of herself. Swift is telling us that she knows who she is, and that comes with seeing the less ‘pretty’ side.

highlight lyric: “I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why // I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try try.”

seven - Can you say haunting innocence? This is a great song for half-attentive listening in the sun, and it could almost be a lullaby. In Swift-lore, the theme of childhood shows up every so often, like in ‘Mary’s Song,’ ‘The Best Day,’ ‘It’s Nice to Have a Friend,’ and ‘Christmas Tree Farm.’ This one is definitely the most dreamy, and it is also tinged with that darkness that consistently underlies all the tracks on this album--“Are there still beautiful things?” Imagine a sepia filter, and that’s kind of what this song embodies. Some fans have wondered about this song as a possible hint to bisexuality and/or relationships with women in general. (See Kaylor fan theories if you want to dive deep.) I can see this--the childhood friend has braids, which could imply she’s a little girl, and they ‘hide in the closet’. However, it seems more likely to me that this is coincidence. Lots of kids play in their closets, and if the song is about the friend’s father being angry all the time (and maybe abusive?) hiding in the closet also makes literal sense. I think the imagery in this song is some of my favorite on this album. 

Another interesting point that I haven’t seen discussed so far is that Swift names this song ‘seven’ spelled out, yet uses the number ‘1′ in the first track title. The only other track she uses numbers in the name is ‘22′, which is about being 22. So, she could be trying to push past the idea that ‘seven’ is just about being 7 years old--though I do think it’s about that, too. She could also be intentionally connecting ‘the 1′ to ‘22′ in some way. They are both a similar vibe, and perhaps they even refer to the same time period in her life. If we go with that theory, who was T dating at 22? The most likely candidate for that timeframe is Conor Kennedy, which was sort of short-lived, and didn’t seem to end with as much fire as many of her break-ups. So, it’s possible that it’s about him. Or, maybe she just wanted to make sure we knew that ‘the 1′ was a concept she doesn’t really believe in anyway, and didn’t want to grant it the full word ‘one’. Will we ever know?

highlight lyric: “Before I learned civility // I used to scream // Ferociously // Any time I wanted”

august - It seems clear to me that this is the second song in the love-triangle narrative. I’ve heard people claim this is ‘illicit affairs’, but those people obviously haven’t looked at the lyrics. The narrator says ‘James, get in the car,’ which is directly connected to the lyrics in ‘betty.’ But, even without that obvious link, the style of august fits in with the stylistic choices of ‘cardigan’ and ‘betty’. All three have strong instrumental tracks complementing the vocals, soft harmonies, and lots of wistful lyrics. ‘illicit affairs’ cuts much sharper and deeper, but more on that later. Combining the dreamy vibes of ‘seven’ with the slight bop of ‘the 1′, this track is sticky--easy to get stuck in your head. The only thing I wonder about this song is how old this narrator is meant to be. They’re drinking wine, and she references going ‘back to school,’ which sort of feels like a reference to the college experience. But, the betty and james characters make numerous references that feel like high school. So, maybe this affair took place in another city with a college girl? I have to wonder if this is Swift referencing some of the age-gap relationships she’s been in. Again, with Conor Kennedy, she was 22, and he was 18. She also supposedly crashed his sister’s wedding in August, and that was the start of the end of their short romance. I’m just saying...

highlight lyric: “Wanting was enough, for me it was enough // to live for the hope of it all.”

this is me trying - If ‘The Archer’ was Swift confessing to her bad habits after a couple early relationship fights, ‘this is me trying’ is a desperate reminder a few months into the relationship. The two songs are sonically very similar, and I didn’t love the vibe (sorry, again!) the first time. But, I do love the artistic continuation. ‘this is me trying’ slows us down even more than ‘The Archer’ did, with a drum line that is almost like a heart beat, and it feels much less hopeful as a result. The lyrics are also some of the darkest I’ve heard from Swift--”I got wasted like all my potential” and “could’ve followed my fears all the way down.” My heart almost can’t handle this song, to be honest. She also references films again, but my favorite imagery connection is her standing over the lookout, which calls back to Rebekah looking out over the sea in LGAD.

highlight lyric: “and maybe I don't quite know what to say // but I'm here in your doorway”

illicit affairs - This song has that ‘All Too Well’ ache with a hint of ‘Death by A Thousand Cuts’ energy, and personally, I love it. You’ve got the busy instrumental strings underneath a simple, yet haunting melody line, and it’s that light, anxious tension that fits beautifully with the theme of the song. The lyrics depict the simple, small heartbreaking things that remind you of the pain you’re putting yourself through, which is reflected in the slightly surprising, soaring note at the end of the line in the verses. Whether you’ve actually been involved in an affair, these feelings show up in plenty of toxic relationships, and that universality is part of what makes the song powerful. The lyrics aren’t about pretty images, but that’s sort of the point. It’s prime Swift conversational lyricism, and you could pick out any number of lines that make a painful short poem all by themselves. 

highlight lyric: “and you wanna scream // don’t call me “kid,” don’t call me “baby” // look at this godforsaken mess that you made me // you showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string - The primary love song on the album, this feels like a follow up to ‘Lover,’ maybe something she’d sing after being married a year or two. It’s sort of like ‘Mine,’ but much more mature, partly indicated by the pace of the song, which is steady and sure of itself. It’s also lovely to me that she’s returned to a bit of her country vibes--I ask you, would it feel like true end-game love for Swift if she couldn’t write a country love song about it? Back when she wrote country, all her happy ending songs were merely aspirational, and now they feel true. This is also 100% about Joe Alwyn, and to me, this is proof they have not broken up like some early reviews speculated. We also need to acknowledge that she’s past the Joe Jonas break up (um, good, that was ages ago) and is sending him and Sophie presents for their baby. I read a review that basically said this song seems a little too ‘all tied up’ for Swift, and that it doesn’t feel as genuine as a result. I sort of agree, but if we can take a sad song and accept that it isn’t how she feels 100% of the time, can’t we also do that with happy songs? Plus, she technically does say that it would be ‘pretty to think,’ which sort of implies it’s more a thought experiment than an actual belief. So, there’s that little twinge of sadness we needed to appease the folklore goddess. Oh, and of course, there’s a reference to Lover’s color scheme, saying time “gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies.” Which, many Kaylor hopefuls read as a reference to the Bi pride flag. To that, I just say... Maybe?

highlight lyric: “time, mystical time // cutting me open, then healing me fine”

Mad woman - My favorite thing about this song is the piano melody that happens in the background the whole song, working in concert with the main melody, but also completely independent (and haunting). It reminds me of one concept of madness--having multiple voices or thoughts going on simultaneously. But of course, it’s artfully and perfectly put together, which is the whole point. What could be perceived as madness is, in this case, what makes her able to create a masterful work of art. Now, this is also certainly a song about her masters, Scooter Braun, and Scott Borchetta. But it is also another feminist anthem. Women are taught not to be angry, not to yell, not to react with any emotionality otherwise we are discredited entirely. Swift directly calls this to attention by explaining that we’re angry for a reason--often antagonized intentionally until ‘you find something to wrap your noose around.’ She also makes the important point that women can also ‘hunt witches,’ and can be complicit in treating one another poorly. This is a reference to Scooter Braun’s wife defending him publicly against Taylor. Probably the most savage line is about the ‘master of spin’ having affairs, which she implies his wife knows about and seems to passively accept. But Swift doesn’t go too hard on her, reminding us that ‘no one likes a mad woman’, and that pressure is real. Could this ‘master of spin’ also be Scooter? I think probably. But I did read that some people are connecting this song to Hillary Clinton (she’s a scorpio, and the song references a scorpion sting), and that maybe Trump is the adulterer here... I feel like that’s a stretch, but I appreciate the interpretation.

highlight lyric: “What a shame she went mad // You made her like that”

epiphany - I suspect this song is directly related to how Swift is processing the current state of the pandemic. The atmospheric vibe with slow, clock-ticking beat in the background really feels momentous and poignant. Yes, she starts with images conjured from her grandfather’s stories of World War II, but she quickly seems to compare this awful battle to the doctors fighting COVID-19 on the frontlines in hospitals. The lyrics are simple, repetitive, and powerful. With so many ill literally struggling to breathe, the lines about breathing out really do hit especially hard these days. I can’t believe that wasn’t a thoughtful choice. The chorus is just barely hopeful, reminiscent of the numbness we all have to use as a coping mechanism to get through traumatic experiences. But it’s that little sliver of hope that makes the song even sadder--is that possible?

highlight lyric: “only twenty minutes to sleep // but you dream of some epiphany // just one single glimpse of relief // to make some sense of what you've seen”

betty - Give me all that Tim McGraw, Love Story, early Taylor pop-country. This song is definitely enhanced in part because of its connections to ‘cardigan’ and ‘august,’ but it stands strong on its own. It’s old news at this point, but James and Inez are based on the names of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s daughters, so it’s all-but-confirmed that their third daughter was named Betty. Written from the perspective of James, there is massive speculation out there about whether the narrator is meant to be a boy or a girl. There are reasonable clues on both sides, so I’ll just say this: I love Taylor, but she’s always been a little late to the party when it comes to socialized ideas of male/female. Because of that, I don’t think she’d have a female narrator riding a skateboard. I also feel from the style of narration--“I don’t know anything;” “just a summer thing;” “would you tell me to go fuck myself”--it does sound more like stereotypical teenage boy language than what we know as swiftie teenage girl language. What I do like about this song, though, is that because it’s written from James’s perspective, it does sort of leave a wider opening for personal interpretation than some of her other love-story-like songs. The reason I personally love this song is that it’s mostly about redemption and forgiveness. Everyone has wished someone who broke their heart would write this song about them, and so it offers catharsis. Plus, it’s the only song on the album that truly feels happy at the end--thanks, key change! It’s refreshing and heartening, and it’s good timing, too. After the heaviest song on the album, we needed it. (Oh, and there’s a callback to the broken cobblestones from ‘cardigan’. And then he literally mentions her cardigan. So.)

highlight lyric: “if you kiss me // will it be just like I dreamed it? // will it patch your broken wings?”

peace - The vibe of this song is like laying on your couch in the summer with light coming in through the blinds and the ceiling fan is going around just fast enough to keep the warm air circulating, but not really cool you off. This song has a hint of ‘False God’ style, a little jazzy, but otherwise, it’s a pretty fresh feel for Swift. The message fits this thoughtful, lightly antsy feeling. She’s basically saying she wants to start a family with Joe (no, I don’t think she is literally pregnant yet) and settle down, but there is no real ‘settling down’ with her level of fame. I also think that Swift truly enjoys making music, performing, and engaging with her fans, and she doesn’t want to leave that life behind any time soon. So, she’s asking him if he can make that work. It’s, again, a mature vision of what a long-term relationship can actually look and feel like. Not all of us can truly relate to the burdens of fame, but there are other ways we can be unable to ‘give you peace’. No relationship is idyllic forever in the way romantic love often makes it out to be, and this song gives us a more realistic, consistent example. And just in case we thought this was just a nice song, the whole ‘clowns to the West’ is another potential Easter egg. In the lyric video, east is not capitalized, but West is. Most likely, this is a dig at Kanye. If we want to believe Taylor wasn’t being vengeful, it could potentially be a reference to Rebekah (West was her maiden name). I lean toward theory one, although it’s kind of amazing that it works out such that it connects to both.

highlight lyric: “but I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm // if your cascade ocean wave blues come”

hoax - (Phew last one--I don’t have access to ‘the lakes’ yet) Swift can’t end the album without bringing us all back to the raw emotional space she opened up within us. This song brings back similar piano lines from ‘mad woman’ and the image of screaming on the cliffside. Chronologically, ‘hoax’ feels like it takes place after or during the death of her reputation, i.e. the feud with Kim and Kanye, when she was still very vulnerable. Based on timeline, this seems likely to be either Calvin Harris or Tom Hiddleston. It could really be some combination of the two, since many songs aren’t really about just one person. My gut tells me it’s primarily about Calvin, since she’s referenced that they didn’t have a very faithful relationship--”your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in.” Both relationships travelled a lot--“I left a part of me in new york.” I’m guessing she’s referencing the feud with Harris over her writing credit on ‘This is What You Came For.’ She takes attacks on her career as seriously as hurtful relationships, and since she’s referencing being torn apart by the media when she says that “what you did was just as dark,” I think it’s likely that this also has something to do with hurting her reputation. It’s another hauntingly beautiful song, and you can totally imagine yourself out on that cliff looking at the midnight sea as the piano line ends.

highlight lyric: “you knew the password, so I let you in the door // you knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score?”

---------------------------------------------

Overall, the album is my favorite of Taylor’s so far for two reasons: 1) the continuity in both theme and sound is stellar, and 2) there aren’t any songs that I don’t like. Usually, there are 1-3 songs on Taylor’s albums that are either forgettable or too on-the-nose for my taste. I’m sure that is a product, in part, of having to craft songs for radio-play and for her amazing, cinematic live shows. Having given herself the freedom to make whatever music she wanted without thinking (so much) about whether they’d top the charts or be good for a stadium concert, she made an album without a single ‘pop just because’ track.

Now the real question is... What will she do with the remaining 6 months of quarantine???

A Spoonful of Poison Makes the Brains Go Down || Nadia? and Remmy

TIMING: Current  LOCATION: Remmy and Lydia’s House PARTIES: @humanmoodring and @whatsin-yourhead SUMMARY: Before heading to Pat’s Place, Nadia needs to make sure that Remmy eats. Drug Manipulation TW

Tommy’s instructions had been pretty clear: Nadia was to poison one Remmington McAllister for blowing up a The Ring, which was apparently the monster fighting ring that Kaden had mentioned. Small fucking town. Now, as cute as she thought Remmy was, Nadia had no trouble at all poisoning them for the amount of money she was getting paid. There’d always be cute zombies out there. Maybe more than there should be, really. She walked up to the house, remembering it vividly from her stay there when she’d fallen out the window, and knocked on the door, the vial of infector mortis in her button up pocket.

Tonight was going to be good, Remmy had decided. No moping, no bad thoughts-- just them and Nadia and a room full of people. And fun. They could do this. It’d been a few weeks since the Ring had blown up, and nothing had happened. They were going to be fine. And it was time to get back to normal life. Or, as normal a life as they could have, being a zombie. When the knock on the door came, Remmy gave one last glance into the mirror-- they’d opted to go for a more casual look, but still nice. A good button up, a cardigan, some nice jeans. They’d even done up their hair. They pulled the door open to greet Nadia, smiling. “Hey! You made it!”

“I’d hope so. After all, this was my idea, cutie,” Nadia teased, looking forward to Remmy’s reaction. Teasing them was too damn fun, and it was a shame she wouldn’t be able to do it any more after all this, but this wasn’t on Nadia. She wasn’t the person that wanted Remmy dead. All she was doing was being the messenger. “So, they don’t open for a bit, and I can’t imagine you’re gonna like the taste of the fine Americana food they’re going to have, so if you want to grab something before we go, and then maybe we can go on a walk or a ride or something.” She glanced back at where her motorcycle was parked near the street. “Do you like motorcycles?”

Remmy would have blushed had they could’ve and they gave a sheepish smile, choking on their words for a moment. “It’s, I mean, like-- yeah. Of course! Yeah,” they stuttered, before stepping aside and motioning for her to come in. “Oh, uh, yeah! Yeah. A snack, I should-- definitely. Eat first, yeah. Uh, do you want a drink? I can get you something,” they offered, heading into the kitchen. They’d told Lydia about their date tonight and she’d let them have the house for the evening. “Motorcycles? Can’t um-- can’t say I’ve ever ridden on one, actually. They had weird little like...scooters that we got to ride around on at base camp, but that’s definitely not the same thing.”

Laughing, Nadia followed them into the house, at ease in the space and with the company. For all their undead might, Remmy, she was sure, was harmless. “Yeah, I’ll take a water, if that’s alright. Don’t want to get too boozy and then have to drive. Ever ridden a bike tipsy? Not fun, and even less so when you add a few hundred pounds and make it motorized.” Her first body, may it rot in peace, had survived only one drunk motorcycle accident before Nadia had said never again. She hadn’t made that mistake in this one. This one was far too important. She watched Remmy piddle around the kitchen. “Base camp? Like, military?”

Once in the kitchen, Remmy pulled down two glasses and filled them with water, setting one on the counter for Nadia before heading to the fridge to pull out their container of brain. Lydia always made sure there was a fresh one for them in the house, and they’d already diced this one up and spruced it to look a little less...brainy. They set it on the counter and looked up at Nadia. “I have, actually. Back in high school. We actually made games out of drink bike riding. There uh-- wasn’t a lot to do for fun in the small town I grew up in.” They propped the container open and scooped out a few pieces, before reaching across the counter for a treat and handing it to Moose. “Oh, uh, yeah. Military. I served for a while. Was recently discharged, though, for uh...medical reason.” Gave Nadia a shallow smile, hoping to breeze past the topic. “What kind of motorcycle do you have?”

Everything had to be calculated, Nadia decided as she watched Remmy pull the container of brains out of the fridge. She didn’t trust just poisoning the water, didn’t know if infector mortis had a particular flavor. She wasn’t a poisoner; she was a thief, a con artist, occasionally a demolitions expert, but she didn’t really poison people. Whatever. “That sounds like teenage shenanigans anywhere, not just a small town.” She brushed her hand against the pocket, maneuvered the vial out, and reached to scratch her shoulder, the tiny vial hidden in her palm. “I grew up in a city, and, uh, we still pulled that shit pretty often.” The second Remmy turned to give the dog a treat, Nadia reached to grab her water and poured the contents of the vial in the brain mixture. But… not all of it. A part of her head told her hand that there was plenty of the poison in the food even with the vial not completely emptied, and she decided to go with it. “Ah, cool.” Didn’t seem like something to talk about, then. She leaned back, glass in hand, and took a sip of water. She should’ve asked for alcohol, since she wouldn’t be drinking at Pat’s, but she perked up at the mention of her bike. “It’s a Harley. Street Bob, so a bit sleeker than some models. Wicked cool, wicked fast.” She grinned. “And I’m a great driver, so it’s a guaranteed good time.”

“I guess that’s true,” Remmy noted, trying to think back to the other shitty things they did as a teenager and finding themself unexcited about the memories. They stopped the thoughts and turned to look Nadia again, none the wiser as they plucked up a piece of brain with a fork to eat. “Guess all teenagers are just the same, really,” they said idly, before giving Nadia a smile. She seemed excited to talk about her motorcycle, and while Remmy didn’t care for them either way, it was always nice watching people get excited about something. They liked it when they could let people do that. “Well, I really don’t know much about them, but that sounds super cool. I do know Harley’s are like super popular motorcycles. They’re the really loud ones, right?” they asked, trying to make sure their interest seemed genuine-- because it was. “And hey, well-- it sounds like a lot of fun. Why not try it, right?”

“I like to think so. What’s that song? Nadia thought on it a moment as she made sure Remmy was eating. “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me, or something? I think that’s universal.” She wondered how long it would take for the poison to start reacting. Not for a while, maybe, hopefully. Probably once they got to the restaurant. It’d look suspicious, otherwise. “It can get pretty loud, yeah. I thought about getting something like a Ducati or Kawasaki, something quieter, but I’m a sucker for the classics.” She grinned, pleased with the way Remmy reacted to things. She thoroughly enjoyed their interactions. “I like your enthusiasm. Everything’s worth trying once, you know?”

Remmy chuckled, taking another few bites before closing up the container and setting it back in the fridge. “I dunno,” they said, looking back over at her, “I think they’re a lot less scary when you remember they’re just kids trying to explore the way they fit in with the world. It’s hard being so young and having all those conflicting responsibilities.” They used the water to wash down the rest of their snack before turning back to Nadia. “I don’t...know what either of those are, but I’ll trust your word that they’re quieter. Classics are classics for a reason, though, right? Cause they’re good and long lasting. Like classic rock, or old movies.” They pointed at her drink. “All done?”

“Astute observations,” Nadia said with a smile. She was always a bit surprised by how optimistic and open this zombie could be. Usually zombies and vampires seemed pretty broody and narcissistic, only worried about their souls and how they weren’t even alive. They didn’t care to see the fucking brightside to anything. At least they had their own bodies and didn’t have to go out searching for a new one. It always riled her up, but this one? She liked this one. She was kind of sad to see this one go. “I mean, anything that goes that fast is gonna be loud, but quieter is a subjective term. But, exactly. Classics are where it’s at. I love old shit like old cars and bikes and movies, especially westerns.” Fuck, she could talk about this all day, but they needed to get moving. She finished her drink. “All done. Let’s get this party started, huh, cutie?”

Answered Asks Below!

*All right, so I got through some easy SSLL asks and general asks, so if you got a tag notification, it probably means you sent me an ask months ago, and I’m just now getting to it.  Sorry about that!

I’m gonna put all of them under a cut, with also just some thoughts on the past few months, too!

I wasn’t very active on here last year, and man, that sucks!  I really do wanna get back to it.  I felt like my words had been taken from me.  I’d get un-depressed long enough to write, and then something would happen to send me write back down the hole, all of my motivation gone.  

I came back last time, and a few days later, I wrecked a scooter and ended up bleeding all over the streets of Atlanta.  I’m not trying to be gross, but man, there was a lot of blood.  My glasses broke and cut my eyebrow and forehead, so that just poured.  If you guys ever wanna hear the full story just ask, but long story short, I ended up as a trauma in the hospital, got about 8 stitches for my trouble, and broke five ribs, my cheekbone, and my brow.  So that derailed things a bit, then some friends came and stayed with me for nearly a month, and then the holidays hit.  So there’s all the time from when you guys last saw me accounted for, ha.  

I’m still not doing fantastic mentally, but the other day, I was drunkenly telling one of my friends that I just wanted to write, that I wanted the words again, and that I was happiest when I was actively answering asks and talking to everyone on here.

And he said, “Get paper and a pencil or your tablet or you laptop -- whatever you kids use to write.”

“I can’t,” I argued, and he cut me off.

“I’ll help you.  Trust me and get it.”

And he ended up telling me what to write for some stupid UT crackfic that got me laughing and talking about the characters again, and the next morning... I just started writing until I found the words again. 

And now I hope I can keep sharing them with you.  <3

___________________

SSLL Asks:

I enjoyed this way more than I should’ve.  xD Well done!

@crazymadkatt  I’m so glad you enjoyed it! =D  I’d love to do a chapter like that.  It’s one of the tropes I’d been putting off because it was so common in the other reverse harem fics, but it’s been long enough now that I definitely plan on doing my take on it soon!

Oh, a real date’s coming, but let’s just say... I think you’ll like the new update. ;D

He’s a combination of both, I’d say.  The cool, lazy perception of Stretch, with the gruff flirtation of Red.  Wrap all that in a buried past, sprinkle in some extreme devotion to his brother, and mix in a healthy amount of low self-esteem and self-loathing that he tries to hide, and wham!  Rus!

@jukovon​  Hi there!  Sorry for the super belated reply!  8D  I’m so happy that you enjoyed the fic!  As for the Edge screen time... Hopefully, the latest update will help with that!  ;D  I don’t have a Twitter, actually.  I’m not entirely sure how it works.  I recently got into Instagram, and that’s been a weird learning curve, too.

Also, I just looked through your blog, and holy hell, your art is killer! <3

I know exactly what you’re talking about because I used to pretend those were real cigarettes when I was a kid.  I don’t think they’d be sweet enough for him!  Like, his version of the Grillby burger craving is a spider donut from Muffet’s, and he loves honey, so I think he’s got quite the sweet tooth.  I also see him as wanting to roll the sucker stem in his teeth or gnaw on it, and I see those candies as breaking down/ disintegrating too quickly for that.

As much as I’d love to include them, I think my head might explode if I give anymore cameos lol.  But thanks for your interest!

It’s the little details that matter. ;D  Right now, Q’s the only one that gets capitalization.  

Thank you so much!  In the case of HT, I’ve always thought that there was a deeper story -- and the comics have recently been shedding some much needed light on that backstory, too!  I’m a sucker for character development and figuring out what caused them to be that way, you know?

Also, I don’t know why, but I’m really against Crooks with braces.  I dunno, I just think it’d be harder to fix than that because of monster teeth.

@imonlymildlyinsane​  This made me so happy.  <3  When I first started writing him, so many people thought he was weird because he was kinda different from the other SF Paps interpretations, but now I kinda feel like he’s the norm.  He needed an endearment like Stretch and Red, so I went with darlin’ because it’s the one I use the most... because I’m also from the South.  xP  Sweet Home Alabama over here.  Sorry for such a belated reply, but thank you so much for sending this my way!  <33

If we’re talking general Sans and Paps, yes, but SSLL Sans and Paps... they used to be, and Papyrus still keeps up with them through text/social media/functions he attends as the monster mascot, but Sans has really pulled away from his friends after the incident with the machine.  Mostly because he doesn’t want them to find out -- and also wants to keep Frisk far away from Axe.

@desktopdinosaur​  Same skeleton time, same skeleton channel! ;D  

_______________________________________

General Asks:

@kawaiiplum​  Thank you so much!  <3  I’m so stoked that you’re still reading and still excited over the notification!  x]

They’re currently closed, but if I become active again, expect that to change!

Thank you, hun!  I’m glad to see you’re still around, too! =D  I hope everything’s been good with you!

@messedupessy  AHHH, I’ve missed you soulmate!!  <333  Sorry to hear your sleeping schedule’s fucked; mine’s about to be because I’m going to start nightshift and not get home ‘til 7:30am.  xP  I hope I’ll be around more for realz this time, and I’m really glad to see you again!!  <333  I love youuu!

@kuroshiro101  Hey Kuro!  I’ve been not okay, but getting better as a good way to put it.  =D  And I’m absolutely in love with your icon!  <3  How’ve you been doing?

@desktopdinosaur  Happy New Years!!  <3  I hope yours was a blast. =D

I’m stoked to see another x-ray tech Undertale fan!  =D  I definitely think skeleton love is a byproduct of our occupation; even before Undertale, I collected skeleton decor just because it related to my job lol.  Thank you!

I’ve got you!  It was this post, where I brainstormed a few scenarios.   If you’ve written it, let me know!  I think the credit would go to me, if you used that portion, but *shrugs* 8D  You know I’m always down for anyone writing anything about stuff I spit-ball, and I’d love to read it, so sent it my way!

Hanging in there, sweetie!  How about you? <3

When you’re right, you’re right. ;P

@literal-cacophony​  I’m sorry this response is like 3 months late.  8D  But thank you so much for sending this to me!  I wanted to make sure you saw that I got it.  You’re such a sweetheart, and I’m so happy that my writing’s been able to help you.  You guys definitely lift me up with all of these nice comments, and I appreciate it so much.  <33  I hope I can start writing as much as I did back then.

Okay! Today we finally catch up to everybody else on the planet with the Ben 10 reboot! I will get through these last two episodes today if it kills me! (I have to, I’m on the last bottle of the soda I’ve been drinking on days Kevin is in episodes) First up, an ep with a Kevin! And Nanny Nightmare but who gives two shits about her? Fucking Umbridge wannabe.

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

Skateboarding. Thought we left the 90s stuff in the last episode.

Aw, Max is scared

Not an extreme sports man

Holy shit Ben’s giving advice and life lessons

Max has got a point Ben. Going up against bad guys is cool and all, but you can’t punch physics.

Ben stands there trying ot talk Max into skateboarding, Max is politely declining, and meanwhile Gwen is gearing him up and just shoves him down the ramp

He’s doing pretty good actually

Ben is using a scooter

Gwen intends to conquer the halfpipe via math

Oh look, it is my son. Skateboarding. With what I can best describe as a 90s board.

Looks like it’s gonna be another ‘Kevin: *exists*; Ben: How dare?!’ episode. These ones are always fun.

‘my turf’ Kevin Ethan Levin please let me live for four seconds please

Oh my gods if this boy made and put up a ‘property of Kevin’ sign I will lose it

He literally plastered over ‘public’ on the skate park’s sign with ‘Kevin’s’! This fucking child! How can you not love him?!

...I was about to say that this isn’t how property ownership works but actually he’s pretty powerful and there is precedent

Ben rightfully teasing him (sorry little love but, come on) and Kevin not fucking having it

Ben: Nice sign, edgelord Kevin: Bitch-!

At this point the only thing that could improve this episode is if Kevin went ‘I can beat up everyone who lives here, so if I say the park is mine it’s mine. Pretty sure the Founding Fathers put that in the Constitution.’

I’d like to note, I’m 2 minutes in. There’s still like eight minutes of this shit to get through.

Kevin telling Ben to fuck off outta his park

I’m dying y’all, this is ridiculous and on-point and just, my fucking child

Kevin offers to kick Ben’s butt if he doesn’t want to leave, Ben responds with ‘no’, and Kevin is just, confused.

Ben has decided to be mature today and I honestly don’t think Kevin was ready for it

Ben calmly scooters away, refusing to rise to Kevin’s taunting, and let me just say #LetKevinSayMotherfucker. You know he wants to. And look at him, he knows swears. He just can’t say them ‘cause he’s on cartoon network

Ben’s been getting better lately about not rising to Kevin’s bullshit. I’m proud of him.

Oh and it almost worked. One call of ‘scooter-loser’ and suddenly Ben’s right into it. Well, I’m still proud of you Benji. You tried and you were doing well.

Kevin just likes fighting Ben. And honestly I’ve said it before but I’m seriously beginning to think the problem is that he straight doesn’t know how to interact with his peers without being antagonistic. Basically somebody get this boy therapy and some proper socialization. Through a fence maybe, and definitely with adult supervision.

“Now there’s the dweeb I know” Kevin please

And the fight has been interrupted by a Max who has no idea how to control his skateboard. But he’s still upright so honestly good on him.

Ben is so proud

‘Kevin used Double Team’ Nice to see he’s found a new tactic with Rush

Kevin times out in the middle of gloating and is so aggravated, mostly because he apparently just tuned up his watch damnit. If nothign else nice to see more confirmation that he is still working on it himself.

Honestly something must have gone bad for him to time out before Ben when he transformed after him.

Ben, laughing his ass off at the look on Kevin’s face, which Kevin takes about as expected

And Ben times out, cuing laughter from Kevin

And initiate slapfight

I do love these children so

Oh look, Nanny Nightmare, nearly halfway into the episode.

Really don’t care for this woman. Not quite to the same level as Tim, but I really don’t give much of a damn. But, we might get a babified Kevin and honestly that might be worth putting up with her

Gwen has finally worked out how she’s gonna tackle the halfpipe. Also is doing rollerskates

And lo but the park was positively coated in babies

NN took over the rentals counter. Of course.

Gwen just, left this baby in the lost and found box

Well, at least baby Max is enjoying himself.

The boys are still out to kick each other’s butts. Nobody is surprised.

Gwen: “Ben, we’ve got trouble!“ Kevin: “Yeah, you’re looking at it!“ Gwen: “Don’t flatter yourself.“

Kevin does not believe in Nanny Nightmare.

‘You’re mature enough to not let him get to you, right?’ Almost, Gwen. Almost.

Goddamn, Nanny is going overboard to get these kids

Honestly, the worst thing is they wasted perfectly good halloween colors on this bitch

And Kevin saves Gwen from babification, unfortunately it’s blatantly at least partially because he has a crush on her and that loses half a point

On the one hand, he almost admits to her face that he likes her and I’m very proud of him because that can be very hard, on the other I am quite glad he was interrupted

Oh my gods it’s a tiny babified Wreckingbolt. 1) that’s adorable, 2) he’s the size of her fucking rollerblades

Gwen, who already has her arms full with two other babies, is not pleased to now have one that fucking rolls at speed to deal with

This tiny rolly child has now bumped into four other babies. Below the age of two and he’s still a menace

Good news, Gwen eventually gets the babies that aren’t Kevin into the box

If reboot!Gwen never has children it will be because of this episode I’m sure

She managed to catch him! Just as Nanny gets the upper hand on Ben

Ben gets turned into a baby midair and Gwen immediately drops Kevin and goes to catch him

Tiny babified Jetray. Not as cute as Wreckingbolt

And Max and Kevin come in once she overpowers Ben again

Gotta be embarrassing to be defeated by three infants

Baby Wreckingbolt looks so happy to have helped kick butt. Or maybe he’s just been enjoying his afternoon wrecking very tiny havoc

We cut to later, while Gwen is trying to fix everyone, and Max is literally having to act as a physical buffer between Ben and Kevin who, even as infants, are still trying to kick each other’s butts. It is adorable.

The Tennysons keep cures to this sort’ve repeated bullshit on hand.

9/11

Could Electric Scooters be Utilized from the Rain and Other Important Questions

If you don’t know significantly about typically the best electric scooters, exactly how they work, whether or not they’re safe, plus how they’re incurred, subsequently you’ve come to the ideal place. If you’re studying electrical scooters for on your own or your little one, after that you most likely have some sort of wide range of questions regarding performance and features as well. One of the most frequent questions can electric power scooters be used throughout the rain, is really a huge concern for people that live in wet weather including Oregon or perhaps New york. Therefore , fear definitely not, we have developed this guide connected with frequently asked questions that can put your mind at ease in addition to explain lovely much everything you’ve possibly wanted to know on the subject of electric scooters. Can Electric Scooters provide in this Rain? For people not used to using and riding a great electric scooter, one associated with their major concerns will be whether delete word the power scooter can be utilized in typically the rain, considering it’s electric powered and runs on batteries. Riding an electric kid scooter requires close contact between the scooter and the biker, producing many newbies to help worry of which they’ll get electrocuted if they head out there on their moped with a rainy day time. However, the chances of this happening are exact reduced. Yet, there happen to be some things you should look into before you decide to help take your own personal electric child scooter out in soaked conditions. While riding in this rain on your HA SIDO has to be safe, manufacturers seldom exactly encourage it, specially if its heavy rain. Driving through deep messes or through flooded roadways can severely damage typically the electrical system and ruin the particular battery as well. The scooter’s electrical pieces, including the battery, will need to never be fully immersed in water. In reality, just about all manufacturers recommend keeping away from rainy, or damp situations whenever feasible. Moisture can furthermore be a trouble for the reason that it can damage both the scooter’s external in addition to internal pieces. Moisture the fact that reaches this inner method or battery power can cause rusting and power injury. This, in turn, make a difference other parts such since the brake system. Moisture can easily likewise mar the cover of the scooter, especially if you have a good model this is equipped with low quality chrome plating or even another type involving metal this is known to be able to rust easily. To stop destruction when the scooter will not be in use, be confident to cover the moped if you leave that outside the house. We advise some sort of waterproof cover that will be able to protect it via rainfall and moisture. Make sure the cover is made from a good high quality material and that this has the ability to speed way up the evaporation process. May Medicare Cover Electric powered Scooters Surprisingly, this is a frequent question people ask, as well as the answer is the two of course and no. Trattare Part W covers power-operated motor vehicles, wheelchairs, and some other types of medical devices. The key words in this case becoming medical equipment. Some sort of basic, leisurely electric scooter is not regarded the piece of medical equipment. In fact , Medicare will merely cover certain types involving electric scooters, such as kinds sold by simply skilled vendors. These gadgets have got leading speeds of 10-12 mls per hour and pre-loaded with a seat, safety belt, and some other types of safety features that make these people a appropriate choice with regard to people who are battling from a decrease through range of motion. Recreational electrical scooters are designed for leisure use only. How do Electrical Scooters get the job done? Interested around electric scooters nevertheless, you aren’t quite sure where did they work? To start, these units run by way of linking some sort of electric battery and a drive mechanism. The electric motor is relatively powerful, yet not pretty as powerful as often the form of motors you’ll get throughout gas-powered scooters. The wheels and speed of the moped can be controlled via a transition located on the handlebars. The scooter’s speed functions are likely to vary from unit to type. Scooters created for children typically top out at twenty or even twelve miles every hour, while scooters created for grownups will usually have the utmost speed of 20 or so a long way per hour or so. Usually are They Free from danger? This is definitely an important question a lot of parents ask when finding out whether or certainly not an electric scooter is a good appropriate choice because of their kid. These days, mother and father are going to find a extensive line of electric scooters that may be specially designed for little ones. Parents have to choose often the model based on their very own child’s age, weight, plus technique level. Many types designed for children have a very low major speed which makes these people safer to use in addition to simpler to control. That will being said, there will be nevertheless some risk involved, mainly if the youngster has no earlier encounter using an electric mobility scooter or standard scooter. Is it necessary to Use Safe practices Equipment if Riding an Electric Scooter? Some states may possess required motorcycle laws the fact that will require riders to be able to wear the helmet any time riding a electric powered child scooter. However, we highly recommend of which all riders use a new motorcycle, whether their status needs this or definitely not. Different types of safety gear are totally various although should also get used for supreme basic safety. This includes knee plus elbow pads, riding safety gloves, and other types connected with shielding products. How to Charge Electric Scooter With out Commissionner Are Electric power Scooters Safe You can attempt to charge the battery while using same voltage requirements plus a charger created by the diverse manufacturer, but the idea might definitely not work. Quite a few manufacturers, such as Razor, experience their own design and size of charger like distinct types of connections which often aren’t compatible using some other methods of battery rechargers. You can also make an effort to charge your kid scooter having a lower powered battery charger, but don’t expect to have a whole charge out of it, even when the power supply is blocked into it for many hours. Please, whatever you carry out, do not try to jumpstart your own scooter’s battery with a auto. Certain, you can use the group of jumper cables, connecting the particular negative terminals to help the beneficial ones in addition to give it some sort of go, but the odds happen to be you are getting to fry your battery. A lot of people propose attaching the particular wires to the dead battery 1st and giving the motor vehicle turned off of in order to decrease probable damage to the scooter’s power supply. The auto battery should have more than enough cranking power to start up often the scooter, nevertheless often, quite a few people who else try this method seldom disconnect the jumper wires and cables in time and conclusion up baking their moped battery. Consequently play that safe. Buy an further commissionner for emergency purposes. Do you have to have a good Certificate in order to Ride? In most states, you don't have to include a license or also register your scooter in case it provides a top speed of around thirty a long way per hour. As much as are generally electric scooters legal, you are going to need for you to check with your state. Nyc is one state that does not permit the employment of electric scooters, nonetheless all over again, this law can vary from state to state. Are Two-Wheel Scooters superior to Three-Wheel? Typically the answer to this issue will depend on your needs. If you’re trying to find an electric scooter regarding recreational purposes than a good two-wheeled super model tiffany livingston is excellent. If you want the scooter which can be used indoors intended for your small kid, in that case you can go using a small three-wheeled style because of their small transforming radius and improved maneuverability. What are typically the Benefits of Using a new Lithium-Ion Battery Instead of an Acid Lead Electric battery? Lithium-ion batteries have also been about now for a few years and are usually identified in compact electronic digital gadgets, such as mobile phone mobile phones. Probably their major solid points are no recognizable memory effect and their own light and portable design. Lead-acid batteries are the most common form used in addition to it’s the particular same type of power supply you’ll find in autos. Many models of electric power scooters use sealed lead-acid electric batteries. These batteries are usually more cost-effective compared for you to lithium-ion battery power and they have virtually no issues with memory influence. Typically, you should become able to revitalise 1 a thousand times but it will surely still provide a whole fee. On the other hand, lithium-ion battery packs happen to be often more effective, and their light-weight layout works to cut down on the scooter’s all round weight, which often translates to a speedier scooter. Exactly how can My partner and i get Superior Selection? Although the producer often contains the scooter’s range probable right upon the box, this is usually often according to ideal situations. By check this out of ideal conditions, we mean simple, flat landscape, low or no wind, and even no rain. Surroundings, this kind of as wind, can have an impact on often the scooter’s range since on high wind days and nights the motor will currently have to work difficult, so put additional force in the battery. This also applies to up-hill riding. You will notice the difference in array when you take a route having hills or rough landscape, compared to a path that’s straight and flat. In addition , if you carry along products, such such as a backpack, you’re as well causing the motor to work more challenging. There’s definitely not much you can perform to maximize the range other than sticking to riding your scooter found in ideal weather problems and finding the right route regarding your ES. Should you Alter Scooter? If you don’t have got any experience doing work on electrical scooters, next no, it’s not safe. It can also be some sort of major problem when it comes to your scooter’s warranty. Many manufacturers may void a guarantee in case the scooter has been altered in any technique. This includes if anyone use a diverse type of battery than often the manufacturer proposes. Modifying a good scooter is possible. A lot of moped fanatics will change out this motor together with battery to obtain better collection or speedier speeds, nonetheless adjusting or even skipping the particular scooter’s controlled must furthermore be done, and this kind of is certainly something an beginner should not try. Can 2 People Trip the Moped at the Same Time period? No . Generally ride your current ES alone. These scooters are not designed for two people work with. While the moped may be able to cope with typically the combined weight, depending on type, it’s simply not harmless. Know Your Scooter In advance of You Ride Before a person in order to scooter out intended for a whirl, you have to know the basics. Acquaint yourself yourself with often the scooter’s wiring and it has the some other systems so you’ll be able to fix minor issues that will can occur when you’re out driving. It’s also a wise decision to turn out to be acquainted with typically the scooter’s essential maintenance desires so an individual can keep this throughout top working order. Very best Average Charge Time intended for Electrical Scooters? On typical, this might take anywhere from six to twelve several hours to fully charge a good electric battery. Higher priced battery power chargers, that are often offered separately, can normally cost the power packs from a faster charge because they will feature a higher amplifying device rating compared to this stock power supply battery charger. It is said that some battery chargers can totally fee a good battery in around a couple or three hours. In case you’re searching for a faster demand time, simply won’t acquire it from a new investment battery charger, so you are getting to definitely want to up grade. Helpful pointers to Keep The ES in Top Shape • Certainly not ride the mobility scooter until the initial impose is completed. Often, this particular will acquire about 6 several hours. Each charge immediately after should be a minimum of 4 hours. • Often the battery connector located beneath the deck plate should be checked regularly. • When definitely not being used, always turn away your moped to preserve on battery power. • The particular scooter should also be switched off when asking. • When you choose to be able to store your scooter while in the colder many months of the year, make sure you charge the battery after a 30 days for a number of hours. • As soon as the scooter is taken out associated with storage, be sure for you to charge the battery pack intended for some sort of period of twenty-four hrs before riding it. Realization Over the years, the electric powered scooter comes with turn into better, offering higher speeds, enhanced battery lifetime, and designs which can be explained as lightweight, but long lasting. Now that you recognize more about everything you can easily and can’t perform together with an electric scooter, where you could ride and how these kind of scooters work, you should have no problem properly taking care of this to ensure it can last for several years for you to come.

where to compare car insurance quotes

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SOURCES:

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