#hoping to finish my review/analysis soon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neptuneiris · 8 months

Text

sparks (03/04)

Did i drive you away?

pairing: business-boyfriend!aemond x fem!reader

summary: at the beginning your relationship with aemond is perfect and there were no worries. until he becomes the Heir of his father's company, the most important in the whole country and certain events and certain people start to interfere in the relationship.

word count: 8.8k

previous part • next part • series masterlist

there will be an epilogue coming soon!

here it is finally! thank God!

I'm so sorry for the delay beautiful people, it's been heavy weeks where I was writing parts but I couldn't finish them, so my writing time was extended more because I didn't finish, plus I moved, my cat is lost and I've felt very sad about that, besides college, presentations and more, but seriously I love writing, it's my way to escape, so I didn't feel any pressure, don't worry about it :)

I hope you like this new chapter a lot, I'll be waiting for your comments, so enjoy and thank you so much for your patience and support!

In the midst of your relationship with Aemond, things between the two of you are charged with tension.

After the conversation with his grandsire, Aemond's suspicions could not have been more accurate because of the way he behaved. Despite everything he told him and left him thinking about the future of the company, he still tried to talk to you about it.

But you, again, did not let him.

Aemond had to go back to work, just as you also went back to taking care of your own responsibilities such as college.

Aemond's life was still immersed in a whirlwind of responsibilities and commitments. From the moment he woke up, got ready and set foot inside the company, he was already doomed to a busy day.

He had to attend meetings with his key executives, discuss financial analysis, take online conferences, answer emails, calls with partners and clients.

Every moment his desk was filled with reports, financial projections, documents and more that he had to review in detail. Not to mention that the partnership with Alys Rivers is still ongoing.

Still he would make the effort to get home early and spend time with you, every night making an attempt to talk to you about what happened that night, but you wouldn't let him, as you had things to do as well.

If not college, then work, besides having to clean the apartment, do laundry and make food, which Aemond offered to help you with, but the two of you feel completely distant from each other.

Because both he and you know that things between the two of you just aren't right.

They are not since that one night nor does it help you to read every moment in the magazines how Alys Rivers has been seen entering the Targaryen building, where Aemond is always mentioned as well and he assures you that they only had meetings even though you don't even question him about it anymore.

Each of you is immersed in your own thoughts, Aemond feeling helpless, frustrated and sad, his gaze reflected by a deep regret in his heart at not being right with you.

And although he wants to find a way to fix things, you don't want to create any more problems, more than anything else you don't want to interfere between his grandsire and him.

And as the days turn into weeks, communication is no longer paramount, the whole relationship feeling like emotional paralysis, with no clear path of how to reconnect where you hide in your to-do's and Aemond barely has time to spend time with you.

So you find it easier to forget about it and wait for him to do it too. But inside you are still just as hurt, humiliated and sad.

And that little free time he has left for you is simply not enough to try to talk to you, besides you won't let him.

Until that time of the year when Aemond has to travel to attend social events or board meetings, also to meet with his partners around the country to oversee the expansion of the company.

Until he tells you that the first trip will be to Storm's End with his brother Aegon, then to Highgarden and Winterfell with Helaena and at the end to Casterly Rock… with Alys Rivers.

And that you definitely don't like to hear.

"I'm not traveling with her, we're just meeting there for the event."

He lets you know as he starts packing his bags for this two-week trip and you help him out, because even though you're both going through a silent fight, you still care about him and have always helped him with this kind of thing.

But you do feel that discomfort all over you knowing that she is also going on a trip to the same place as him. And Aemond knows it as he watches you out of the corner of his eye, knowing your mannerisms very well.

"Eleanor and Cole will be with me the whole time," he tells you softly, "And I'm already preparing everything with my publicity team for when the press starts publishing pictures of her and me, I don't—

"It's okay," you tell him softly, placing his ties perfectly in the suitcase, "I understand."

He watches you for a few seconds without saying anything, as you continue to put his clothes away the right way, feeling his gaze on you but not watching him back, to which he lets out a long breath.

"I just want to make sure you'll be okay," he tells you just as softly as before, getting up to stand next to you, "I don't want you to be worried all the time. You know I would never do anything to hurt you."

You press your lips together, watching him for a few moments to refocus on the suitcase.

"Yes, I know," you tell him to cut the subject short, saying nothing more.

At this Aemond watches you with some sadness, concern and anguish, but at the same time with love and tenderness, desperately longing for you to share more of your thoughts and emotions with him without pressuring you.

But since he knows you won't, he chooses to hug you.

And he does it carefully, tactfully, knowing that at any moment you may push him away, but to his surprise, you feel your high barriers of defense crumble at that moment, his gesture catching you off guard.

And you with a little hesitation, in the end decide to hug him back, since of course you missed him just as much as he missed you, both of you sinking into a soft and comforting embrace, where finally just for that moment, everything feels right.

There is hope.

Aemond feels his whole body stop tensing the moment he feels your arms wrap around him to hug him back, he lets out a long breath and pulls you tighter against him, hiding his face in your neck.

And you hide your face in his chest too, inhaling his comforting scent, feeling at home again.

"You know you can come with me, right?"

He murmurs in your ear, making you smile softly against his chest.

"I'd love to but I can't. I have to work and attend my classes."

He lets out a resigned sigh.

"Then on your vacation we'll arrange a trip, I promise," he tells you then leaves a soft, tender kiss on your forehead.

You raise your gaze to him as he lowers his so he can watch you.

"Like when you took me to Winterfell?"

"Yes," he smiles softly, "Now where would you like to go?"

"I don't know," you shrug, "Maybe to the Iron Islands?"

"Perfect."

He tells you then leaves a soft kiss on your lips which you reciprocate, both of you pulling each other back into a tight embrace where neither of you want to let go.

And even though Aemond doesn't want to ruin the moment and the fact that possibly this invisible barrier between the two of you will no longer be there, he feels it's the perfect time for you both to talk about the topic you've been putting off that needs to be talked about.

"Y/N, about that ni—

"We need to keep packing."

You interrupt him instantly, gently pulling away from him and turning your gaze back to his suitcases, causing him to look at you sadly for a few moments.

"But—

"I'll go get your shoes."

You cut him off again, to start to move away from him and head towards the huge closet, leaving him with no choice since you definitely don't want to talk about it.

After that moment you both went through, that comforting moment, fortunately you don't feel that emotional distance anymore, since now you both sleep hugging each other, share breakfast and dinner together, also share about how the day went, like before.

Even on some nights there are movie nights, where finally Aemond finds that comfort in your arms, hugging and kissing you at almost every moment.

And you too after a stressful day at work or you are going through a lot of stress because of your classes, you hide from the world in his arms, feeling good and being that exactly what you need.

Until the day comes.

Aemond has to leave.

You drive him to the airport, where his private jet will be waiting for him along with Cole, Eleonor, you understand, his agent as well, and other security people.

The goodbye is hard, even though he's had to leave for business trips before, so neither of you know why. And by the time Aemond's jet flies, that discomfort returns throughout your body and so does that uneasiness.

At all times he lets you know of what he's doing, or at least the important things, like that he's already landed and also that he's already arrived at Aegon and Cassandra's penthouse where he'll be staying.

Before when he went on a trip he also did the same, letting you know where he is and what he will do, mostly to keep you informed, even now he sends you pictures of his breakfasts and also some views from Aegon's house.

You are more concerned that he is well and of course being miles away, it makes you feel safe that he talks to you about what he is doing and what he will do next, like attending those social events which is what he travels mainly for.

Until the day of the important event arrives.

Being at work, about to finish your shift, obviously you are not allowed to have your phone at hand, but when the time comes and now you have to go to class, when you look at your phone, you see severe messages from Aemond and also the notification of a link to a magazine.

This immediately tells you bad news.

And it definitely is when you read the title of what the magazine link is about.

Alys Rivers, co-owner of Riverlands Group seen at Storm's End… click for more.

You click on the link, curious, attentive and with a frown on your face.

The very famous businesswoman, soon to be partner of the important company Targaryen Inc, Alys Rivers has been spotted at Storm's End to attend an event attended by the most important businessmen from all over the country, among them, Aemond Targaryen. She has been spotted an early partnership between them but rumor has it that there may be more than just a partner relationship. We have also been informed that Rivers will be attending the same events as Targaryen in some parts of Westeros where Targaryen Incorporation has distributions of his company, so it is no coincidence.

After reading this, you read Aemond's messages, getting an idea of what they are about.

And you… you don't even know what to think anymore, let alone feel.

It makes sense that he didn't know anything, since at this point after what happened with his grandsire, it doesn't surprise you that he didn't tell him anything because he knew Aemond would do something to prevent it.

And how convenient that also Alys didn't report anything about her presence at all the other events since it was only known that she would travel to Casterly Rock.

Later that day you see how Alys does indeed show up at the Storm's End event and Aemond quickly sends you a picture of everything, of him with Aegon, Cole and Eleonor, wanting to make you feel at peace and safe.

Then later he sends you picture of him arriving to his hotel room, he even sends you a voice message telling you about everything that happened at the event, he tells you that Alys talked to him, that again she tried to cross physical boundaries but he wouldn't let her.

Also that they both had to take pictures together, but nothing else.

And the next morning there are a lot of videos and photos of the event where he is with his brother, his partner Borros Baratheon and more businessmen.

There are also the photos of him with Alys, even videos where the two of them talk and she again touches him on the shoulder and arm like that, smiling flirtatiously at him all the time, but Aemond turns away from her to go to some men.

It's as if she knows that at that moment there are many cameras around and they are recording, so you get the impression that she is doing it on purpose.

But all you can do is really nothing since Aemond is the one telling you everything to make you feel calm, so you just continue with your daily routine, focusing on work and your classes.

Although of course unconsciously your mind is on Aemond and his trip, also on her.

Fortunately what comes next is more… relaxing.

The next event is in Highgarden, where once Aemond lands, he sends you a picture of him with Helaena, where he tells you that she sends you greetings, both smiling at the camera, making you feel a comforting warmth all over your chest as you see the picture, smiling softly.

During the whole trip in Highgarden there is nowhere where Aemond is not with Hel, even in the event when he is around Rivers, Hel is always with them.

The same happens in Winterfell, as Hel must also attend as she is the one who made the partnership with the Starks possible.

Aemond sends you picture of her very comfortable on one of the jet couches, also of the two of them having dinner and watching a movie, even at the hotel they both ask for a room for the two of them with two beds.

At the event also the two of them are together, there is even a very professional photo of the two of them with their partner, Cregan Stark, where he with Hel give a welcome speech to all the guests and then Aemond with him make known the innovations in their companies thanks to the partnership.

It's simply all work, as it should be. You even see Rivers in some photos and videos, but compared to Storm's End, she doesn't look very pleased lately.

Until the moment comes when Hel will no longer be in Aemond's company. And from then on, you can't help but feel uneasy.

And apparently Aemond also feels the same restlessness as you do despite the miles of distance that separate you.

He sends you pictures of absolutely everything, from the moment he starts his day until it ends. He also tells you what he's going to do, even if it's taking a shower, yet he tells you to let you know that's why he won't write you back quickly.

He even sends you video of what he will eat, mostly to let you know that there is no one with him in the room if that is your concern, also at night, telling you that he will go to sleep.

Honestly, Aemond has never done this before on a trip and even though you didn't ask him to, as if wanting to see where he is and what exactly he is doing, wanting to check on him at all times, Aemond does it for your peace of mind.

And without wanting to, you already find yourself waiting for him to send you picture or video of what he will do next, feeling paranoid and to some extent a controller.

You know that this is wrong, that it is not necessary, that neither of you have ever acted this way before and that it is as if you want to know Aemond's movements every second in an unnecessary and… toxic way.

And it's not right, you know it's not.

But Aemond feels that need and so do you, even if you don't want it, you feel that need to know that Rivers is not taking advantage of your absence and worse…. That he is giving in to it by making the partnership possible.

But Aemond would never hurt you, he has told you that and you know that, but you also know as well as he does that he has the eyes of almost everyone on him and will have problems with his grandsire by the time he returns because of Rivers' disconformity.

So even in the event, Aemond feels more that need to let you know that she's not around Rivers, that he's not doing anything wrong or giving her and him anything to talk about.

And the worst part is that you are there, attentive, waiting and watching it all.

Even after the event is over, Aemond tells you that he's going back to his hotel room, telling you that he's going to take a shower. Then he sends you a picture of him brushing his teeth and then another one of him in bed and at an angle so that you can see that he is all alone.

And only at that moment, for two full weeks, just this very night you feel completely calm and at peace, knowing that he is coming back tomorrow and will be by your side again.

And you don't understand.

You just don't understand what happened to both of you.

You don't understand how you went from having the most beautiful and healthy relationship ever, to this, where both you and he acted in a toxic and completely unnecessary way.

And when you least expect it, tears begin to flow from your eyes as you stare at the dark ceiling of the room, alone in the huge bed, with frustration and sadness completely invading you and loneliness settling in your heart.

You are honestly afraid.

In the midst of your storm of emotions, you fear that the beautiful and healthy connection with your boyfriend will soon be gone. You're afraid that the relationship will become toxic.

You just don't want to lose the intimacy and complicity you both have to be replaced to this, the insecurities and these needs to look good and want to prove that neither of you, especially him, is failing in the relationship.

And with everything that's going on, the company, his grandsire, Rivers, you have no idea how to fix it.

Aemond's arms wrap around your body tightly, clinging completely to your figure, holding you tight against him as he hides his face in the curve of your neck, inhaling of your soft scent that drives him absolutely crazy.

And you reciprocate his embrace in kind by slipping your arms around his neck, hiding your face between his chest and neck, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek to cling to him again.

"I missed you," he murmurs lovingly and almost melancholy in your ear.

You hug him tighter, lovingly, as you place a small smile on your lips.

"Me too, babe."

He too leaves replete kisses on your cheek, tucking you back into his body, not wanting to let you go, while to you all his scent and the feeling of being in his arms is more than gratifying, being just what you needed.

He strokes your hair as he inhales deeply, not being able to get enough of it. And neither of you say anything else, as actions speak for themselves and what two need, is the touch of each other.

It was two weeks but for both you and him it felt like months.

You both look at each other and he leaves a soft kiss on your lips which you reciprocate as you both have a small smile on your lips. Then you both separate and start to head towards the car once Cole and the other men help Aemond to put his suitcases in the trunk.

All the way he keeps holding your hand, while you drive to the apartment and he talks to you about everything that happened on the trip.

"Our trip to the Iron Islands will now be easier," he tells you proudly and visibly excited.

You are glad to hear that the companies are doing well and that he has had friendly meetings with his partners, in fact you tell him so, as he smiles softly throughout and thanks you.

He also gives you the news that he will have a meeting with Rodrik Greyjoy very soon that involves talking about plans for an early partnership between Pike and Targaryen Inc.

You hum in agreement, smiling softly.

"I could tell," you look at him for a second to refocus on the road, "I'm sure your conversation with him will go well. But you want to go on a trip there too?"

"Sure," he tells you willingly, holding your hand against his lips, "They say it's a beautiful place. I've seen pictures too," he says then leaves a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

Once you both get home, you help him with his suitcases and unpacking, while now you tell him about your days at work, college and also here.

Fortunately for him and you, it's Friday, so you both stay home and rest. He tells you that he won't be going to work Saturday and Sunday, so you have the whole weekend for the two of you.

You still have to work Sunday afternoon but you don't mind, it still won't be long, so you enjoy and take advantage of these free moments with your boyfriend.

Later that same night you both resume your nights of intimacy, which is something Aemond had longed for since you both had that fight after the event, leaving after traveling not too soon after that was just awful for him.

First you both take a little nap where nothing feels better than sleeping in each other's arms again, both of you without being an inch apart from each other in the huge bed.

Then when you wake up you go together to the supermarket to do the week's shopping and at the end you stay in the living room watching movies.

And it was also something you craved.

Obviously you're not as insatiable as he is, as Aemond really can't get enough of you when it comes to sex and really takes all his time with you. This time is no exception.

But once that glorious weekend ends and a new week begins, you both resume your routines from before and in which he simply has no time for you.

Again Aemond tries to do everything in his power to come home early and spend more time with you, which is something you consider and are grateful for his effort, as you knew that sooner or later he would have to go back to his old busy routine.

Not being on good terms with his grandsire, having to attend meetings and phone calls from his partners, making and reviewing reports, delaying as much as he can the partnership with Rivers just so he doesn't have to see her, it's too much.

And little by little, although he doesn't want to, he returns to his exhaustive routine of before and in which unfortunately also affects you for seeing him only at night at a very late hour.

Although he still does everything he can to make sure that work doesn't take up more of his time than it should.

You continue as normal, going to work and attending your classes, but you find it again sad and annoying that you are again having less time with Aemond.

As well as what you didn't want to happen.

And of course Aemond would have to explain himself, having that need like on the trip so you wouldn't think other things, telling you all the time, either by message or in person, that nothing happened, they just talked about work and nothing else.

Sooner or later Alys Rivers would reach her breaking point, so if Aemond wasn't looking for her, then she would be looking for him.

So you had to go back to reading magazine articles online where they talk about how they've seen her in the Targaryen building and so on.

That's how things were going on for a few weeks, almost for a month, until again and unexpectedly, Aemond has to travel again.

Aemond is technically not yet the head of Targaryen Inc, his father is, but due to his health, he must attend for him.

Again to Casterly Rock to an important event and also to a conference where Aemond will meet with the board of directors and his partner Jason Lannister.

Other businessmen will also attend as it is a general event and heads of major companies all over the country are in attendance.

The news of having to travel again catches Aemond and you off guard, explaining that the board meetings normally take place in November, but that they are earlier this year.

So as soon as he gets the news, he starts preparing everything for his trip, even preparing work papers and other preparations for his presentation at the conference, while you again help him and make sure he misses nothing.

He can't miss his meeting with the board of directors, it is paramount and a really big commitment, so you understand but you are disappointed all the same.

Honestly you are disappointed that you have to be separated from your boyfriend again, as you were not expecting to have to stay home alone for a week again.

The event lasts two days and Aemond will have to travel there from before to ensure his presence and avoid any unforeseen events as it is an important event.

Until again when you least expect it, the day comes for Aemond to leave.

He paces back and forth, making sure nothing is missing, while you help him finish packing one of his two suitcases, while he talks on the phone to Criston and then to Eleonor to continue making sure he has the right information about what time he has to board his private jet.

You then head to the kitchen and make a quick breakfast for him and yourself, you also make him a cup of coffee and ask him to stop for a few moments to get some food in his stomach, to which he does while still busy on his phone.

"Which hotel?"

You hear him ask Eleonor as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Ah, yes, that's fine. But… about the documents, did I bring the folder with me?"

You at all times stand still, eating your breakfast and listening to what he says to Eleonor back.

"Okay, I'll go check," he says and quickly heads back to his office, still holding his phone to his ear.

You continue to stand still, as you watch him disappear down the hallway and let out a breath, not really being able to do anything since you know him too well and he always gets paranoid when he has to travel, making sure to get everything ready one last time.

A few minutes pass and finally Aemond stands still in the kitchen to finish his breakfast, though when he's done he heads to the bedroom to check his suitcases one last time and start placing them in the hallway for when Cole arrives and he has to take them down to put them in the car.

He paces back and forth, wasting no time, watching his wristwatch every second, counting down the time for when Cole arrives and he has to leave.

You meanwhile take his briefcase and place it on the island with you, waiting for the moment when he has to leave.

When they start calling him.

You look at the screen and see that it's about his grandsire, causing an unpleasant feeling all over your body as you remember the way he treated you last time, but you quickly let Aemond know.

"Your grandsire is calling you!"

Aemond comes out into the hallway with one of his suitcases.

"Please pick up, love."

You nod and accept the call, put it out loud and resume your breakfast.

"Aemond?"

"Yeah? What's wrong?" he exclaims from where he stands.

"How's it going, son? Are you ready?"

"Yes," he replies with a little force in his voice, securing his suitcase one last time, "Cole should be here any minute."

"You got all the conference details?"

"Yes, Eleonor mailed me everything," he says as he walks over to the island and pulls the phone towards him to take a sip of what's left of his coffee cup.

"Very well. Then you'll meet Alys and her uncle at the airport, I've offered them to travel with you, after all the three of you are going to the same place."

You immediately stop chewing, as well as your whole body stops moving, standing completely still and with tension all over your shoulders.

Aemond also immediately watches you, instantly realizing your reaction, but you look away from him trying to appear indifferent and with the lump in your throat you go back to chewing, bringing your cup to your lips.

You feel your heart start to beat wildly, feeling instantly how your tranquility disappears and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by all the mixture of emotions that invade you.

Meanwhile Aemond frowns and with a bewildered and also annoyed look, quickly turns back to his grandfather.

"What?" he snaps at him.

Otto Hightower lets out a long breath on the other end of the line.

"Aemond—

"I didn't even know she was going to the event too and why are you telling me this now?" he inquires her completely serious, in an annoyed and deadly tone.

"Because I knew you would do anything to avoid it and I wasn't going to allow it. We're so close to signing the contracts and I knew this was going to please Alys, so she'll see you at the airport and I expect… that you'll give her a good treat and please her for the entire trip."

A shiver of jealousy, insecurity and sadness runs through you, as you bite the inside of your cheek and try to act nonchalant about it all, but you know you're not good at hiding your true emotions and Aemond sees that, not liking his grandfather's words at all.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?"

He inquires him just as serious and annoyed as before and Otto sighs.

"I'm not having this conversation with you again, Aemond. Grow up and do what you're told if you want your company to survive."

"Maturity doesn't mean I have to do everything you say!" he exclaims angrily and exasperatedly at him.

"For the love of the Seven, it's only a flight, stop acting like a fucking little child!"

Aemond sighs and runs a hand over his face, wearily.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me."

"Everything is already decided. You're going to have to deal with it, whether you like it or not, I honestly don't care. And I hope..." he begins to say in a threatening tone, "That by the time you get back, Rivers doesn't cause a scene for me again because of your lack of commitment and interest."

"That's your problem and hers, not mine. When I get back I want to have a serious conversation with you."

And finally Aemond hangs up annoyed with his visibly frustrated face, where in comparison to him, you hide your emotions, not wanting to frustrate him more with your behavior upon hearing this new travel plan, acting disinterested.

So you try to make yourself really look carefree by taking your dirty plate and cup to the dishwasher, starting to wash them, not observing Aemond at any moment, fearing that he will notice your true state.

While you at all times bite the inside of your cheek, resist the urge to cry and insecurity as well as a host of other frustrating emotions completely invade your body.

And Aemond immediately notices, because he knows you too well.

So feeling the weight of the situation, he stands up with an almost tired face and walks towards you, instantly slipping an arm around your waist to turn you towards him and leave a soft kiss on your forehead.

Something inside you snaps as you hear this.

"I know what you must be thinking, but you have nothing to worry about."

He says softly, hugging you tightly and lovingly, holding you close against his body.

"The only one I care about is you and I promise I will stay in touch with you for as long as I can."

And a realization comes over you, holding you completely still against him.

"No matter how busy I am, I will always find time to call or text you, just like last time," he promises you, wanting to comfort you, "I will do everything I can to keep you calm while I'm away."

You feel that realization hit you all at once again and with your gaze gone and your lips parted you just blink, because suddenly you don't have the strength anymore, for anything.

And because of your lack of response and movements, Aemond separates his head from your shoulder to watch you, still hugging you tightly and not wanting to let you go until he is sure you will be okay, watching you with concern.

"Hey, did you hear me? You will always be my priority, no matter where I am."

"Tell me you understand, please love," he pleads with slight anguish, completely attentive to you, holding your face with both hands gently in a desperate action.

He assures you firmly, wanting to make you understand and wanting you to say something back, anything. But you just watch him for a second, then stare at a spot in the kitchen and say nothing, your face without much expression.

With a lump in your throat, because you really can't speak, you feel like a fool even though it's part of all the emotions you're feeling at the moment, unable to help it.

"Good," he murmurs confidently, feeling a little calmer and leaves a soft kiss on your cheek, to pull away and continue to prepare everything for when he has to leave.

So the only thing you can do, is that nod in his direction, without uttering a word. And apparently, that's good enough for him.

Aemond continues to make sure he has everything ready in his suitcases and that nothing is missing, leaving them by the doorway.

While you watch him silently, still with all that overwhelming mix of emotions invading your mind. Again you feel your strength drain away and anxiety takes over, with an ache beginning to spread throughout your chest.

While he in comparison to you is calm, unconcerned, having no idea of everything that is going through your mind at that moment, making you feel bad to be thinking this now.

How cruel am I going to be?

You wonder with sadness, as you bite the inside of your cheek and try to hold back the tears that want to come out of your eyes. You don't want him to notice your agitation, at least not yet, but it's getting harder and harder to control it.

You love him.

You love him deeply.

You know that perfectly well. There is no doubt about it. And you know he loves you too.

But it all comes to your mind hitting you like a violent wave, drowning you, the magazines, his work, the association with Riverlands, the event, his grandfather, the press, his travels and Alys Rivers.

You watch as he ready waits for Cole with his phone in hand at the entrance, typing quickly, assuming he must be texting him, with the suitcases at his side and his face of concentration.

"Love, could you hand me a folder I left on my desk, please? It's black."

He asks you while at the kitchen island he hurriedly checks his briefcase, as you bite your lips and swallow hard.

"Sure," you say without much emotion and head for his office.

When you return you hand him the folder and he thanks you to arrange everything perfectly back into his briefcase.

"Cole won't be long, we're already late," he speaks to you also in a hurry, "If you need anything you know you can call me. But you can also call my mom if you need someone to come over, she's going to Oldtown for another two months," he lets you know, "Okay?" he watches you for a moment and you force a small smile, nodding in his direction, "Okay," he mumbles.

And he disappears back into the room, mumbling that he hasn't taken his jacket, while you watch him, standing still again with your hard face, wondering:

How cruel am I going to be?

Then Aemond stands still again at the entrance to the apartment, answering a call from Cole.

"Have you arrived yet?" he pauses slightly, "Fifteenth floor, C100. All right," he ends the call and looks a little more paranoid, turning to his suitcases, "Almost leaving, love."

You don't say anything back, you just watch him and feel that lump in your throat again, wanting to talk to him but the words get stuck, feeling more of your anxiety, agitation, sadness and anguish, with tears in the corners of your eyes, not being able to control it anymore.

How cruel am I going to be?

It repeats constantly in your mind until the tears fall down your cheeks and that pain in your chest gets stronger, watching it without being able to contain your emotions anymore.

"I can't do this anymore," you say in a shaky voice, getting his attention.

Aemond looks away from his phone and watches you, where your state slowly takes him by surprise and he watches you completely attentively, a little confused, not understanding, starting to worry.

"Love—

"I know it's not your fault," you make it clear to him, starting to cry loudly, shaking your head, "But I can't anymore."

Aemond surprised, quickly turns to you, trying to speak.

"Y/N—

"The first time you went to Casterly Rock with her, I wasn't at peace. I was scared and not for you, but for her," you confess to him, sad, "And you sending me pictures and videos of where you were and what you were doing, made me feel like we didn't trust each other."

"Y/N, I only did it so you would be calm and safe while I was away," he tells you in a soft, confused voice.

"You don't understand," you insist, "That made me feel like a controller, like you think I need to be constantly watching everything you do, and when had that ever happened on your previous trips?" you inquire, "It hadn't been like that since she—

You stop, not wanting to say more, as you sniffle and wipe your tears with your fingers, lowering your gaze, sorrowful, sad and disconsolate.

Instantly Aemond stops in front of you, trying again to hold your face in his hands, completely worried.

But before you can say anything, the doorbell rings at that moment and you both know who it is, Cole. But despite this, he continues to be attentive to you.

"My love, I understand," he says softly, wanting to comfort you, "I understand that you don't trust her, I understand your reasons, but—

"It's not just her, it's also what happened at that event, the press wanting you and her together, the magazines, your grandfather, and I-I…" you sniffle your nose, "I don't want our relationship to become a toxic one."

At that moment Aemond looks at you completely unsure, his heart beginning to pound, his gaze completely intent and anxious.

"What? Y/N, what are you saying?"

How cruel am I going to be?

"I can't anymore, Aemond," you tell him in your completely broken voice.

He watches you silently, his lips parted, fully inspecting your expression, beginning to feel his pulse quicken a little too much, understanding perfectly what you are implying.

When again you ring the doorbell, which catches your attention amidst your trail of tears but not him, he remains attentive to you, not caring, beginning to feel a huge void in his chest, incredulous, advancing towards you in a needy manner.

"Y/N, don't do this."

"I don't have a choice," you tell him in pain and he again tries to take you in his arms.

"But—

There's a knock on the door, interrupting him, as he feels a painful lump form in his throat and he looks at you in complete shock, disbelief and hurt.

"Listen, can we talk about this when I get back, please?" he asks pleadingly, holding you by the waist firmly, not wanting to let you go, "Just…" he shakes his head anguish, "Wait for me, okay? And when I get back, we'll talk about it."

You shake your head, pointing your gaze at the door for a second.

"You must leave now."

And Aemond becomes more concerned about this, seeing the determination and defeat in your whole look of sadness, giving this up now and not intending to wait for him, beginning to feel his eye begin to burn and despair along with anguish invade him more.

"Sir? Are you there?"

You hear Cole ask from the other side of the door, but Aemond pays him no attention, wanting to fix this, desperately.

"Yell at me," he implores you, "Get angry, reproach me, anything you want, anything but this, please, I beg you."

You close your eyes, swallowing hard.

"Sir? I'm sorry but we must leave now," Cole again speaks from the other side of the door, "Your flight departs in less than an hour."

And al Cole again knocks on the door in desperation, clearly because he has to do his job and you're taking advantage of it.

You open your eyes and both of you stare at each other without saying anything, where you just wait until he has to leave, your face completely devastated.

But he barely processes what's happening, his eye reddening and his heart rate racing, waiting for you to understand and say something back to him.

"Go now," you mutter sadly to him.

"No, I'm not leaving until I fix this," he tells you desperately, on the verge of losing patience, "Just…please don't do this, not now. I-I don't… I don't want to lose you."

"Your grandfather will be upset with you."

"I don't fucking care about my grandfather, Y/N! Right now I don't care about anything, just this, us!"

Cole again knocks on the door, insistent.

"Just fucking wait!"

He yells at Cole desperate, upset, distressed, his emotions running high, not being able to control himself anymore and you decide that enough is enough, because Aemond won't leave, then it's best that you leave.

"I'll be leaving too."

You know that this trip is very important to him and you still love him too much not to worry about his work.

And the last thing you want is for you to be the reason for not being on time, which could lead to him not doing well at his event and conference with the board and his partner.

You murmur to him with a broken heart and turn around, walking towards the room, instantly being followed by him.

"No, Y/N, please, just wait," he tells you more pleadingly than before, "I promise you this whole thing with Rivers will be over soon, I promise!" he insists, "Or not, I just won't make any association with her, I can find another way for the company, I don't care what my grandfather says or—

"You can't do that and you know it. The company depends on hers."

"But you can't do this! Not now, please!" he exclaims in frustration, starting to cry.

And just as you're about to go into the closet to grab your clothes, he stops you, turning you to him to hold you and make you look at him, make you see how devastated he is, definitely not expecting any of this at all, feeling completely helpless and powerless in the face of the situation.

"Please Y/N, please," he says to you with a broken voice, as he puts his forehead together with yours for a moment, starting to tremble and feel an unpleasant sensation all over his stomach.

And seeing him like this completely destroys you.

You've never seen him like this before, you know you're breaking his heart and more by breaking up with him now, like this, like you're taking advantage of the fact that he has to leave to get on a plane.

How cruel am I being?

And even though you didn't want to do it, at least not now as he is asking you to, you know this is necessary.

Because you know that if he gets on his jet with her and you and he are still together, you will not be calm at all, you will over think things, things that are not.

If the partnership with Rivers passes and you and Aemond are still together, you will feel the same insecurity as always because the two of them will be partners and will have to keep seeing each other for the report of both companies coming together.

You will feel controlling, he will have this need to want to be good to you in an unnecessary way and you will just feel bad about yourself. And it won't end there.

And you'll have to keep putting up with the press, the boundaries Rivers oversteps, what Otto asks Aemond to do with her and the necessary justifications from him to you.

"I'm so sorry," you tell him with tears streaming down your cheeks and your face completely broken.

And Aemond shakes his head in frustration, in hopelessness, closing his eyes tightly, not believing it, not accepting it.

"Wait until I come back so we can talk about it and work it out. Don't end things like this, please," he tells you in a broken voice, starting to cry, "I-I love you."

"I love you too," you tell him the same way he does.

"And if you love me then why are you leaving me?" he asks you in a painful voice, not understanding.

Your whole face transforms into anguish.

"Aemond—

"Please don't leave me," he begs you once more.

Silence envelops you, where you both cry, you completely broken and he in complete despair, in the room where you both have shared so many special moments throughout your relationship, in the apartment where you began to form a little life together.

The air is charged with so much tension and nostalgia, where you both suffer from an intense mix of emotions, where you both suffer equally, as everything feels unreal, so suddenly and without time to react.

And Aemond tries to find any hope of being able to hold on, to get you back. But in the depths of his broken heart, he feels and knows that he has lost the battle.

And you also feel and know that this has been necessary, as broken as it has made you feel and in which you know, you are probably not going to fully recover by doing this.

The last thing you see of Aemond is how with his completely devastated look he watches silently as you pack some of your clothes in a bag to leave, still not accepting it, completely broken inside and imploring you with his gaze not to do this.

But you knew that if you didn't leave, he wouldn't leave and it's important that he catch his flight to Casterly Rock.

So without even saying hello or giving Cole a glance, you leave the apartment quickly with tears streaming down your cheeks, walking away from there and him.

You arrive at Floris' house in search of temporary lodging where she opens the door and you burst into tears in her arms, without even being able to talk to her about what happened when you cried uncontrollably.

And after a few hours, the next thing you know from Eleonor, simply because you needed to know for the last time, is that Aemond managed to get on his jet at the estimated time to land promptly at Casterly Rock.

She tells you that it was difficult but that they managed to convince him. And that's the last you hear from him.

Despite your determination to move on, every day at all times you can't help but feel a deep sadness and a sense of loss that won't leave you alone.

Letting go of your relationship with Aemond is difficult, you just can't. And rightly so if it's only been weeks, because leaving him behind, feels like giving up a very important part of your life.

You tried to find comfort in your daily routine, classes and work, but everything reminded you of him, all the time you were thinking about him and when you least expected it, you were already crying again, without being able to help it.

At night it is more difficult, you feel completely alone, you cry until you fall asleep, you questioned what you had done and in the middle of everything, you miss him deeply.

Days after Floris accepts you in his house, you immediately request a room in your university's residence halls and fortunately there is one available near your Marketing department.

You asked Floris to please accompany you to the apartment to get the rest of your things, which she did not hesitate to do in order to support you and also help you, taking advantage of the fact that Aemond was still away.

You did everything as fast as possible, not wanting to remember and think too much, you just wanted to get out of there with your things, avoiding to feel and let all the memories consume you, because you couldn't stand it.

A few tears escaped you, but as soon as it happened, the two of you left the apartment, locking it and slipping the key under the door, so as not to return it to him in person.

After a while, exactly after the week in which Aemond would already be back in King's Landing, he started looking for you through messages and calls, begging you to please see each other and talk.

Feeling even more broken, you decided to block him from everywhere, which caused him to come looking for you at work, hoping to talk to you.

But as soon as you recognized his car parking on the street, you quickly hid in the small back rooms, begging Sophie to cover for you.

You later found out that Aemond had been texting your mutual friends, asking how he could find you, where you lived now, wanting to sort things out, unwilling to let the two of you end up like you did.

Hel messaged you, so did Daeron, even Baela, but you decided it was best not to respond, because if you did, you would agree to talk to Aemond. And it broke your heart not to reply to any of them, especially Hel, but you know yourself too well and you did it for your own good.

But you never let him find you, because you knew you'd go back to him the minute you both sat down to talk and that's not what you want.

Not with his grandfather and Rivers still behind him.

Until one day Aemond stopped.

He stopped trying to find you and stopped asking your friends where you might be, you also stopped reading about him in magazines and social media. You read about his family, but nothing about him.

And so it went for a while, for about two months, where you to this day do not heal and you keep thinking about him, finding it strange this new life without him.

When one morning, a magazine article and almost all the social media announce a news that makes you understand now a little more the disappearance of Aemond not only from your life, but also from the world, surprising you.

You read the news in complete disbelief, thinking of Alicent, Hel, Daeron, Rhaenyra, everyone, but most of all him.

You know what this means, the note itself says so, but even though you knew it was only a matter of time, as Aemond told you, you are still surprised to see this, surprised that it has already happened.

Suddenly you feel a need and urge to text or call him, but you know it's not a good idea, yet the urge is there, thinking about how he must be feeling and all that he and his family must be going through.

Fortunately you don't do anything, but this leaves you thinking.

After almost everyone reads this news, the whole Targaryen family is kept in hiding, there is no sighting of them, no statements and absolutely nothing, which is what the press wants.

That's what happens for a month, until finally sightings of Otto and Alicent Hightower are reported. Also of Aegon with Rhaenyra and Daemon.

Until you simply decide not to be aware of it anymore, having to continue your life without him, since these are matters that don't concern you, at least not anymore.

So a few weeks later, Floris' birthday arrives, who invites his closest friends to a pub to celebrate in a small group, wanting to have a good time, relax and nothing more, to which you agree to go.

What you definitely didn't expect, was to meet your ex, Aemond Targaryen after all that happened and after almost five months.

general taglist:

@melsunshine @n4forlife @iamavailablesstuff @ttkttt @elliaze @trshngyn @tsujifreya @imsoshygirl @watercolorskyy @kckt88 @zenka69 @yentroucnagol @crispmarshmallow @bellastwd @queenofshinigamis @strangersunghoon @happinessinthebeing @iloveallmyboys

taglist part 3:

@hoziersfairy @bananaminion678 @targaryenmoony @skzenhalove

#aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x you #aemond fanfiction #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond x reader #hotd aemond #aemond targaryen angst

739 notes · View notes

stickyspeckledlight · 1 month

Text

informally answering/replying to @harmonysanreads questions in le reblog. ask and ye shall receive answers

'Tis a good question. First, I insert a load of unicorn farts---

My kneejerk answer is:

But that's also a fucking LIE RAHHHHHHHHH 🔫

but i suppose 'delightfully flavored chaos' is the best way to put it, as you can tell from the above. when it comes to writing stuff, I generally only really use a loose outline, with maybe a box or two that absolutely has to be checked. it's mostly because I sort of like letting my fingers...just kinda go where they want. Letting the story 'write itself', ifykyk. There's no real eloquent way for me to put this, but I think the easiest way to put my thought process while writing waxing moon is:

"ok how do i do the silly haha before traumatizing the shit outta my readers. and the reader. and aventurine."

wait...that's not quite right either (and also my thoughts obviously got a shitload darker than that). Actually, now that I think about it, I should've started with this. if there's a single quote I had to point to that singlehandedly influenced my writing, it's this:

"The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes." - Nikolai Gogol

so...while i of course don't strictly adhere to this (since writing must fit its rhetorical situation), it's something I really love to do and try to do often. even if it's just a single sentence, a single word...to interject something of amusement is to give levity and a smile. but in the right circumstances, amusement becomes twisted, and even used against you. you read of a man's suffering, to which there is a single quip that has you smiling; and then, do you stop? do you stop to think: 'do I smile at this man's misery?' in other words, amusement, or 'funny things' in a story has a wide variety of uses. my favorite way to use it is to place it in a situation where it feels like it just shouldn't be there but is; and at the moment it feels like a relief, but of course, the narrative still continues. and that single moment of normalcy, of levity, it then highlights the absurdity, horror, etc. of the rest of the narrative.

but i also enjoy writing scenes where there's a strong sense of hopelessness and fatality looming over.

with my yan fics, I sort of wanna make my reader feel like both the spectator but also be in the story; I don't think this is a particular novel thing amongst us yan authors, but it's something I try to keep in mind and adhere to. I want them to feel unsettled, happy, amused, etc. But most importantly, with these stories, I want to leave them with a sort of confusion. to read a story so, so twisted, yet with a brutal softness to it...i just love it when fiction gives me complicated feelings about something, and it's something I hope to at least partially emulate lmao

idk. ig that wasn't really talking about my thought process in exact, but that's the closet thing I can come up with. metacognition hard.

(side note: i don't actually read gogol, but I am interested in at least reading the 'overcoat'. it seems to include the themes of mundanity that I just love *mwah* but I'm also too lazy to go ahead and download a pdf or something. Plus. i found a book called legends and lattes where an ogre starts a coffee shop in a fantasy realm. it looks great and I'm getting my hands on it as soon as I can)

physics isn't actually terrible, i just don't understand it. i have no clue how I got an A in physics. but I've also been really good at bullshitting reports while also not actually bullshitting them. and I can't really make fun of people who listen to physics stuff recreationally. i just finished a video about why 37 keeps appearing everywhere, from my refrigerator to my gacha games. and I'm currently chipping away at quinton review's nickelodeon retrospect. and then amateur politic theory and media analysis.

so in a way im making fun of both you and me, and you know what they say: two negatives make a positive.

before i go into symbolism: I would like to say a personal belief of mine:

although the answers i give may be the 'official symbolisms' and 'meanings', still feel free to read this fic with whatever lens of interpretation you want! if anything, it can be said that the 'official' meanings are also just another interpretation of the text. beauty is the in the eye of the beholder. anyway, moving onwards:

mmm, sorta? i originally intended to use the tower throughout, but those scenes got cut for pacing reasons, but I decided to keep the tower metaphor just as a sort of way to characterize reader.

specifically, the tower symbolizes 'stability.' reader wants to live a normal life, a modest but stable one. I've mostly based in on the 'Tower' arcana (but let's make it clear: my understanding of the arcana is a superficial understanding of a superficial understanding lmao)

ripping from the persona wiki because of my laziness:

but yeah, keep in mind that the reader isn't a one-and-one interpretation of the tower arcana. but I think you can definitely see the correlations lmao.

however the 'stability' of that tower is definitely dependent on their mental state which....well...

eh, i'm sure it'll work out....ehehehe......

this is probably something i should've clarified a bit more, but I decided against it at the time since I wrote this assuming the reader read destroyed onset; basically, I've carried over the 'ink' metaphor from it. it's actually pretty simple: ink is just 'fear,' but an especially potent one. thick and slimy, oozing its way down your back and just being nasty in general......a fear that may come to drown and burn you.

again, i probably should've been more clear, esp in this fic, but I when I was writing onset, I made it a bit more vague since I thought it was just. way too obvious and didn't want to feel like I was directly telling my readers and spoonfeeding them symbolize like they're toddlers. i was basically worried that I might've not been trusting y'all enough 😭 I wouldn't say that this series is like some. super duper cryptic puzzle you'll have to study for years to understand, but ofc I don't want to make it too easy, otherwise it's not as fun to pick and prod at the details and think about a fic if it's just too "obvious," at least to me.

Yeah, and i can see why. im not gonna go on a psychoanalysis tangent or anything, but since so many of us fantasize about a yandere for the idea of being wanted or....or just not having to work or pay for rent....it's definitely really easy to indulge in it in a romantic aspect.

i personally sort of love these sort of outcomes though, because the psyche of it all is so interesting! and deliciously messed up. similarly to the great @/jessamine-rose, I too love myself a twisted happy ending (as one can tell from how much I think about that gogol quote lmao)

predicted his twilight looking ass, and also fulfilling my life long dream of telling a stranger some weird twilight book

"da skinn of a keeler" (im sorry)

also i have not read twilight. but my friend also has a gun, so it's only a matter of time before I'm held to gunpoint by her

😏

i have abided by these wise words. i thought I included them, but I didn't. and also the second banner. anyways, moving forward, I defo won't be forgetting to do this. and I've also gone back to onset and added the word count there so as not to spook anyone too badly.

ty! 🥺🥺🥺🥺

(fr tho all of these asks, comments....unparalleled rizz I say)

#speckled answers #unlawfully #yeah the police are at my house sorry guys #looks like i'll just have to type with my hands shackled in chains #destroyed onset #waning moon

15 notes · View notes

princesspumpkinseed · 1 year

Photo

A daily review with a twinkle of optimism and softness is exactly what I need right now. As occurs often, I had a beautiful day and yet my brows are still furrowed in disapproval of myself, which I disallow. In fact, as soon as I began typing, my facial muscles relaxed and so I deduce that I am exactly where I need to be.

Last night, I cooked a Mexican feast for two friends and I think that it went tremendously. I feel quite humbled to spend time with these two people because they’re so funny, kind, and intelligent so I was particularly pleased to see that they were impressed by the dinner I made for them. I got some ginger ale and filled the glasses with fresh mint and lime wedges; I made a two bean chilli, my classic red onion and mint salsa, some rice and tortillas and salad, guacamole, and avocado (of course). There was just enough to feed me today as well and my friends seemed satisfied. In fact, one friend praised the evening to another friend this afternoon... so yes, I’m blushing.

This morning’s breakfast was perfect in every domain but one: I don’t have any avocado left to make it again tomorrow. This morning I did a yoga flow with Allie Van Fossen which was powerful enough to satisfy my morning restlessness; I had my wake-up treat of a double espresso with some warmed soya milk; I showered and put on a sleek dark-academic outfit (complete with heeled boots, light face-powder, and some perfume which I perceive to be a ‘clean’ scent). I felt good, and my booty was looking pretty good when I left the shower, too.

From 9am until noon, I was in the library and I was impressed with my productivity. I found a space which had the perfect temperature and level of noise and completed the Functional Analysis homework and a problems sheet.

After that, I returned home and chatted with my housemate Bethan in the kitchen, She really does light up my days and she was making a satisfying breakfast while I assembled some leftover [fajitas] from last night. Good for her.

In the early afternoon, I got my exam notesheet done for Number Theory, despite the beautiful sunshine tempting me outside, I finished just in time to meet with my friend and his friend to go for a walk and grab a matcha coconut latte. I’d like to be a matcha-drinking individual but the first matcha I ever tasted was incredibly bitter and this one just tasted of sweet coconut with a complementary bitter undertone so I don’t know what to believe.

I talked with my friend a lot during our walk and I just hope that he and his friend were entertained by my conversation. I hope that they felt they were listened to and treated with kindness and encouragement. I loved the walk we had and I feel slightly selfish for having taken their afternoons but it made me very happy. This is the root of my self-criticism this evening, I believe.

Getting home, I made a simple yet tasty meal of leftover rice with basa and veggies. The peas and sweetcorn makes me think this dish is quite childish but there’s nothing childish about ensuring your 5 a day and preventing foodwaste.

This evening, I wrote up half of my functional analysis homework and hope to do the rest first thing tomorrow. I concluded this task with a phd salted caramel protein shake (which would have been better if I’d had blended a banana into it as well) and one of Yoga with Kassandra’s evening sequences. Now, I will treat myself to a biopic before bed :) I look forward to good weather tomorrow and to seeing my parents.

#That Girl #study motivation #studyblr #healthy eating #healthy diet #Food Blog #what i eat in a day #clean girl #clean eating #eat your veggies

56 notes · View notes

handoverthekawaii · 2 months

Text

Tyranny of the Heart | Enver Gortash & You | Chapter 3

Your great-aunt looked displeased when you let her know you were leaving the ball early but, frankly, her disapproval did not greatly concern you. The only reason you attended in the first place was because she demanded it, and you felt you had more than fulfilled your obligation.

Moreover, thanks to Lord Enver Gortash, you had a small stack of books in hand that you wanted to start reading immediately. So you left the host’s mansion on foot, headed toward your great-aunt’s residence nearby. She didn’t like you walking alone in Baldur’s Gate at night, claiming that robbers and even murderers could lurk around every corner, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

Once you made it back to your room, you cracked open the first volume Gortash had selected and began reading. Its comparative analysis of economic policy in the Lands of Intrigue instantly grasped your attention, and you soon began taking notes in your battered travel diary. When you became too exhausted to continue, you slept for a few hours before awakening at daybreak to read on.

You finish the first book by breakfast time but, before you pick up the next one, you would first like the chance to discuss its contents with someone else familiar with the subject matter.

And Gortash DID say to let him know what you thought… which is why, at 8:47 A.M., you find yourself being escorted into Gortash’s residence, a narrow townhouse in the Upper City overlooking the Basilisk Gate below. In the candlelit foyer beyond the grand front door, the lord of the house awaits you.

“Why, if it isn’t my newest friend!” Gortash says. “I must confess, I had not expected to be graced by your presence again so soon.”

Or ever, he thinks to himself. It would have been better for you both if you’d simply taken the books and gone on your merry way.

But you hadn’t… so could it be so bad for him to indulge in your company a little bit longer?

“Good morning, Lord Gortash,” you reply. “Have you any time this morning to talk about Dionysus el Almraiven’s Coin and Chattel?”

“Not nearly as much time as I desire,” answers Gortash. “I have a very important meeting at midmorn with the Harbormaster.”

“So come, step into my office!” the lord continues, outstretching both arms in a gesture of hospitality. “You may tell me your impressions as I make ready.”

He doesn’t need to ask you twice, and a moment later you are seated in a plush armchair in the man’s cluttered study. Gortash sits across from you behind his grand oaken desk, making a perfunctory effort to review a stack of papers before him as you share your thoughts.

Gortash is adept at pretending to listen — he knows just the right amount of “hm’s” and nods to convince just about anyone that they are the sole focus of his attention. And he tries, genuinely tries, to do the same with you, to go through the motions while internally reviewing his talking points for the meeting now close at hand.

Yet he just can’t seem to divide his attention — your eagerness to learn and discuss is a breath of fresh air in an intellectually impoverished city like Baldur’s Gate. Gortash finds himself in ever-increasing admiration for your unbridled curiosity, and his desire to engage with you further also grows with each passing minute.

By the time a servant appears to let him know that his carriage is ready, Gortash has resolved not to try and avoid you any longer. He senses that you have the makings of a leader… and, based on your fearless resolve to speak your mind, consequences be damned, you’ve got quite a backbone too.

“I fear I have taken up to much of your time already, my Lord,” you say apologetically, standing up and beginning to gather up the items you brought along. To your surprise, however, Gortash signals you to stop by holding up his hand.

“You study policy so that you may govern wisely one day. Am I mistaken?” he asks.

“No,” you reply. “I do hope, one day, to serve as a leader among my people.”

Gortash nods approvingly at your words. “In that case, you would do well to augment your studies by witnessing good governance firsthand. If you have no other appointments today, then consider doing me the honor of shadowing me as I work.”

“Th-thank you!” you exclaim, shocked at Gortash’s generosity. “I have no other appointments today, so I — thank you. I appreciate the opportunity so much.”

As the two of you go to the waiting carriage, Gortash silently addresses his god. Lord Bane, he prays, destiny seems hells-bent to throw this woman before our path. I sense she may have a part to play in Your Grand Design.

I beseech You, he continues. Reveal to Your Chosen whether You see potential in Y/N L/N. Should You deem her worthy, I shall cultivate her for Your service by mine own hand. [continued on AO3]

#ao3 writer #fanfic #enver gortash x y/n #enver gortash x you #enver gortash x reader #lord enver gortash #lord gortash #bg3 gortash #enver gortash #baldurs gate gortash #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic

4 notes · View notes

pashminalamb · 2 years

Note

Oh! Okay I’m really glad and that’s a huge relief too. Oh ho ho ho I’m sure that NNN challenger idea is gonna be great I look forward to it! 😌 AHHHHH I also can’t wait for Bachira to be added into the series. I saw him the first episode and I was like “yes that one. the insane adorable one? yeah he’s mine now.” Asdhjkgfghh I love him so much. And those are some solid pieces of advice. I should probably remind myself of them more often. Ohhh what book? I recently went on a book shopping spree (that was my birthday gift) and got a whole bunch of books that I can’t wait to read once I have the time. The to-be-read list keeps getting longer and I’m like “…… but one more book wouldn’t hurt.” And then proceed to add 5 more ajshkjfdfcchjfdfg 💀💀. Anyways. Also kind of a random fact abt me but like I’m anime-only for Blue Lock rn and I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING BUT HEAR ME OUT. No I promise you didn’t spoil me. I’m a master at avoiding them now because I have this habit of like watching the first episode and then deep-diving into the shows tag on tumblr (x reader too ofc) and like seeing if I like the vibes. I have not yet gotten spoiled because I’m so practiced at dodging spoilers now. Anything that remotely even LOOKS like a spoiler I’m like “nope” and keep scrolling even tho it doesn’t get any easier each time 😭. So like don’t worry abt spoilers with me. But with this I’m always so excited for upcoming events and meeting new characters in the show. And especially with Blue Lock, cause like I’m a sports anime lover and the concept of Blue Lock is so different and new and it was so hyped up that I knew I had to try it. Fast forward to now and I have volume 2 of the manga and am waiting on my orders for volumes 1 and 3 😌😅💀. I’m still anime only tho cause I wanna finish the first season before I start the manga, that’s my policy. And like it’s so interesting how this show hooked me with the first episode (cough cough Bachira cough cough) and now I’m planning on reading the manga which is a huge surprise because I never read sports anime manga cause I feel like watching it is just more of a experience you know? Haikyuu being the only exception for me ofc. I’m currently in a mission to collect all 45 volumes. But it’s gonna take me a minute for obvious reasons. Anyways. But like Blue Lock just came in and swept me away. So like I’m really excited to see what happens in next weeks episode. Also your works were one of the reasons I decided to watch Blue Lock in the first place because they were so amazing to read even though I didn’t know any of the characters. Like your writing is just THAT good. So thank you for feeding into my new obsession 😌. Also I read in your bio awhile ago that you’re a November Scorpio? Happy early or belated birthday!! 🥳🎉🎂 I’m an October Scorpio so reading that was a pleasant surprise. Anyways. Thank you for your kind words in response to my earlier ask, they really meant a lot. Your blog is a huge comfort for me, all of tumblr really, but there are only a few blogs that I actually intact with because I love the vibes and energy and writing and the person behind it all (ie you), it’s just overall really comforting and makes me feel safe. ALSO do you mind if I give you my review and analysis of the episodes as I watch them?? Maybe occasionally?? I cant do that with your works yet unfortunately but I will try to as soon as I finish the first season or give into reading the manga before the season ends, whichever comes first. You can clearly tell that my self-restraint is on thin ice 💀💀. Anyways as always I hope your day goes good! *sends virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

✨ anon !! ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

Oh yeah the idea I have for the NNN challenge is gonna be a tempting one but at the same time not everyone's cup of tea cause its kind of an old school idea; but at the same time. I know watching this thing made me go 'That's hot.'

Oh yeah i totally know that feeling of seeing someone and just falling for them. Like when I saw Yoichi I was all like 'he is so cute. lil blueberry muffin' and when I saw Kunigami I deadass went 'that's literally football bakugou and there is no way you can convince me otherwise. Cause just look at him, man wants to be a surperhero and looks EXACTLY like him, but he wasn't that much of an asshole' (he gets turned into one later during the series tho) Meguru looked so cute just lying on the floor and I kinda get him and his monster cause its a way of saying that he's in the zone (like the aomine and Kagami knb reference if anyone knows what I'm talking about?)

As for me; the moment I saw Aiku... I was like 'you have my attention.' But I knew something wasn't right cause I knew that this looked a little too good. Then i find out that he is a womanizer. And to add more onto that, he even got slapped and didn't care. He likes summer cause he gets to see girls in bikinis. And I was right about him liking baby chicks

Out of EVERYONE how is it that I get stuck with a person like this (me just proving that I fall for red flags) but i still love him and watch me defend this man .

(like even if you look at my track record with Haikyuu; likes Miya twins, Sawamura Daichi, Kageyama Tobio, Kuroo Tetsuro. Istg I'm asking for it)

So I'm currently reading Tuesdays with Morrie; its a heavy book based on the conversation between a dying teacher and his student and its based more on philosophy and the books I got were the old man and the sea by Ernest Hemingway, the alchemist by Paulo Coelho and books based on psychology. I have a very mixed taste and from the looks of it, its not very interesting is it? my personality is a mess and so is the aesthetic i roll with atp

Which books did you get? Must be some pretty good ones if you can't stop and you need to read 5 more? Is it a manga?

Oh yeah i totally get it. Reading a football manga and actually seeing it animated are two very different things (I wanna see how they animate Aiku cause I already got early spoilers for how everyone else looked. But aiku? I am waiting. I spoiled chainsawman for everyone and I was really surprised that Pochita's voice was so soft cause I was expecting something as deep as Daichi's voice? And same. Even if I get spoilers I will watch the whole thing; its a different story when i figure out the plot tho (i was forced to watch YOU despite predicting the entire plot of season 1 and season 2 in 5 minutes ; its the typical 'if I can't have you no one can' but I watched it anyway cause of my ex. couple goals ) I wish you luck on the journey of collecting all 45 mangas; cause even I wanna get bllk mangas ngl and I plan on buying one this week ig but I keep pushing it off ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

I- I am surprised but happy that I got you into bllk ૮⸝⸝ > ꇴ <;⸝⸝ づ with time i'll even get you to like Aiku

And we can obsess together

And yeah i am a november scorpio; thank you for you wishes anon!!

( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) we're scorpio buddies

I'm glad you like my writing though cause even if the content and the pace I keep with the posting is according to my comfort, at the end of the day, its an 'x reader' edition and you guys are the ones reading it; so it means a lot to me when every one of you reads my works and likes it ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა and I'm glad that you feel safe here and that this is your comfort blog.

Of course !! You're very much welcome to give an analysis or a review whenever you want and ready!

go wild bb. Tumblr is supposed to be chaotic and that is welcome here ♡꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱

*sending hugs back*

#saint.σ #.lost sheep : ✨ anon

9 notes · View notes

nicoandindy · 1 year

Text

just wrote three pages in a notebook from my first article on misophonia, very happy to be working on this.

all the articles i have so far:

i have only finished one of these, but i hope to have more soon and put all of them in my little notebook :)

#misophonia #mental disorder #learning #studying health

2 notes · View notes

ingravinoveritas · 1 year

Text

To my lovely followers: I am a bit behind on Anons (this week was busy, with finally going back to work after the holidays), and I know there are quite a few of you, but I will do my best to answer you all as soon as possible. Thank you as always for your patience!

#public service announcement #psa #i need to organize my thoughts #also i had other stuff i was hoping to write about #so i just want to handle all of these anons and then hopefully move on #hoping to finish my review/analysis soon #of Staged 3 #yes #personal post #<3

10 notes · View notes

reckless-blossoms · 1 month

Text

I finished reading Annihilation by Jeff Vandemeer. Quite the mindfuck. I think this book is autistic. Defies definition. I love you the biologist. I wish I had real genuine thoughts but truly, what thoughts are there to share? It was deeply meaningful to me and spoke to me in ways other books have not. I will not be reading any analysis or interpretations written by others because that feels antithetical to the point. My perception of the book is my own.

Full review copy/pasted from Goodreads:

What can you do when your five senses are not enough?

An all-female group of various scientific specialists enter an anomalous zone known as Area X and try to uncover its mysteries. You will be stuck in the head of the biologist, someone who is utterly disconnected from humanity, married to her work, and seemingly always dissociating. You're reading her stream-of-consciousness journal, one that's she's tried to keep objective and scientific, but you'll soon find that objectivity can not exist in the subjective and interpretable world of Area X.

Annihilation is a surrealist horror, full of dread and apprehension. It's easy to be confused, but easier to open your mind and accept all that is witnessed. Those seeking a puzzle where every piece slides into place at the end will be frustrated. This isn't a place of logic, this is the place you go when you finally fall asleep after you take too much melatonin while feverish.

To me the best part of this novel is the prose. Never before have I seen such accurate stream-of-consciousness writing. That is just how it is inside my brain to be honest. In my mind I see the biologist as autistic like myself, even if that wasn't intentional. I hope my writing style could be something as strong as this someday.

#op #books

0 notes

yumeka36 · 3 years

Text

Frozen 2.5 - Prologue + Chapter 1

I’m literally shaking. I can’t believe this day has finally come.

I first began work on this project back in November, on Frozen 2′s anniversary to be precise, and have worked on it for countless hours since. My artist for the project, the talented @myrthena, has also been working hard on the above cover art and other illustrations. After tons of edits and re-readings, I can’t express how happy I am to finally share it with all of you!

Frozen 2.5 is my next big Frozen writing project. But unlike my previous one, Seek the Truth, which is an essay-style analysis book, Frozen 2.5 is a post-Frozen 2 fanfiction novel, created very much in the same vein as the official Frozen novels Dangerous Secrets and Forest of Shadows. Anyone who’s been following my posts for a while knows that I mostly do essay/editorial writing and have never had much interest in reading or writing fanfiction. But like any fan, I’m always playing out fanfiction stories in my head. I just never felt the need to write one out in full - until now. But before you get to reading the story, a quick introduction is in order:

I had two main goals while writing Frozen 2.5. First goal was to create a Frozen story that would be indistinguishable from something Disney would officially release as a feature-length film. I wanted fans, whether hardcore or casual, to read this novel and think, “Yeah, I could see Disney making this for the next Frozen movie.” Obviously, that means there’s nothing in the story that would warrant a rating beyond PG, but as anyone familiar with Disney movies knows, that certainly doesn’t mean the story can’t have drama, angst, and dark moments (which it does). And my other goal, and probably the more important one, was to create a story that appeals to a wide range of Frozen fans, especially fans who are having trouble imagining if fun, likable scenarios can still take place with the new direction Frozen 2 took for our beloved characters. With that in mind, even though I’m not well versed in the Frozen fanfic community, I’m pretty sure my story will have some similarities to others (the world of Frozen does lend itself easily to common headcanons and narrative ideas). But in spite of this, I’m hoping Frozen 2.5 has enough of my own unique touch as a writer, and die-hard Frozen fan, to be something very interesting, unpredictable, and overall enjoyable for fans of many ages and tastes.

I’m going to be releasing a new chapter of the story every 1-2 days, starting with the prologue plus chapter 1 today, and ending with chapter 7 (the final chapter) and the epilogue on April 11th. Each chapter will have an original illustration by myrthena as well. The entire 63K+-word novel is written already, so don’t worry about me getting writer’s block and not finishing it. I just need a little more time to compile the illustrations and do a final review.

The release schedule is below (I’ll try to stick as close to it as possible, though it may vary slightly). You can follow me here or on Twitter to be notified when the new chapters are available. You can also check the respective pages on FF.net and AO3 (linked at the end of this post):

Release Schedule:

-Sun. 3/28 (today): Prologue and Chapter 1

-Tue. 3/30: Chapter 2

-Fri. 4/2: Chapter 3

-Sun. 4/4: Chapter 4

-Tue. 4/6: Chapter 5

-Fri. 4/9: Chapter 6

-Sun. 4/11: Chapter 7 and Epilogue

For the final release on April 11th, I’ll also include a complete edition that has all the chapters and illustrations together in one pdf, including an afterword written by me (where I discuss some history and final thoughts on the project).

With all that said, please enjoy the prologue and chapter 1 linked below. I have poured my heart, soul, and every fiber of my being as a Frozen fan into this story!

-----

Story Summary: It’s been about half a year since the events of Frozen 2. Anna is adjusting well as queen of Arendelle, and Elsa has been making slow but steady progress with reconnecting the spirits with the Northuldra. And while both sisters, as well as Kristoff, have been trying hard to create a unity between Arendelle and Northuldra, decades of animosity is proving difficult to mend. However, the new status quo is interrupted when Anna receives a letter from a queen of an unknown kingdom - a queen who still thinks that Elsa is the queen of Arendelle. Our heroes soon get caught up in the mysterious plans and dark history of this strange kingdom and its enigmatic queen. Trusts are tested, courage must rise against danger, answers slowly come to light, and in the end, all sides must come together to overcome an impending threat.

The prologue and chapter 1 mostly reintroduce the characters and their current status, and have a lot of endearing Frohana moments. But there is foreshadowing of the calm before the storm...

*I recommend reading the PDF version since FF.net and AO3 have limitations (not a lot of font choices, can’t show all images, no distinction between prologue/epilogue and chapters, and FF.net doesn’t let me have a period in the title)*

*Read PDF version HERE (recommended)

*Read on FF.net HERE (it’s called “Frozen 2 5″ because FF.net doesn’t let you include periods in titles)

*Read on AO3 HERE (thanks to @wintermoonqueen for the invite)

#frozen #disney frozen #frozen 2 #frozen2 #frozen fanfiction #fanfic

113 notes · View notes

scuttling · 3 years

Text

Interview

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 1,729 Tags: SFW, Pre-relationship, First meetings Summary: Aaron finally gets the greenlight to hire a new agent. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 0-6 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) A/N: Sophie and Reid are partners, because I love them! Link to AO3 or read below!

It takes two months for Hotch to convince Section Chief Strauss to open a requisition for a new member in the BAU. There was a lot of paperwork to be filled out, including detailed explanations as to why he felt the team needed another profiler. He thought it was obvious: for all they do work together as a cohesive unit, Morgan and Elle were technically partners, and when she left, Prentiss took her place. Reid doesn’t have a partner, which makes him feel like a third wheel, sometimes.

(He won’t admit to it, but Hotch notices things. It’s kind of his job.)

Needless to say, the position becomes available, but it takes another couple of months—and several interviews—for Hotch to find the right person to fill it.

Agent Cortes comes highly recommended by the Intelligence Section’s unit chief, someone he worked on a case with in his early days at the BAU; she is young, just 29, but she is more than qualified, and the referring agent is someone whose opinion he respects, so he’s hopeful.

Gideon sits in on the interview because he respects his opinion, too, although Hotch will make the final decision.

Cortes is Latina, petite and polite, with a firm handshake, a warm smile, and dark, striking eyes. Gideon looks at her with somewhat passive interest (something only Gideon can pull off) as they go over the highlights of her resume.

“You have bachelor's degrees in Psychology and Sociology, and master’s degrees in Behavioral Science and Criminology, all from the University of Chicago. How did you manage all of that, at your age?” Hotch asks, wondering if maybe she is gifted like Reid.

“A lot of hard work,” she replies, and it’s an answer he likes. “I graduated high school, enrolled in a dual major program and completed the bachelors’ at 22. Then I was hired onto the Chicago Police Department, and I worked there and got my Criminology degree at the same time. The Behavioral Science degree came after; I began it in person, and they let me finish online when I moved here to join the FBI.”

“What interested you about behavioral science?”

“I grew up in a city that was rich with diversity, but I still noticed that certain people were susceptible to falling into certain patterns, and became curious about why we as people do the things we do. I was already interested in criminal justice, so it seemed a natural path to take.” He nods, jots down a couple of notes before looking back up.

“Tell us about your time with the Chicago Police Department.”

“I went through training while finishing my Criminology degree, worked a beat for about six months before being assigned to the Intelligence Unit; my sergeant found value in the way I was able to get people talking, and a large part of my work was with criminal informants. I worked in Intelligence for three and a half years, and for the last two I was on the Tactical Response Team as well.”

“Tactical Response—that’s SWAT?”

“Yes, sir.”

“How did you end up in SWAT?” Gideon asks, speaking up for the first time; she looks over at him for the first time, as well. “I mean no offense, you’re clearly more than capable, you’re just… small.” She gives him a brief smile.

“Well, there was a hostage situation, the team leader determined that we could get a vantage point from an air duct... and I was the only one who fit.”

“You don’t seem resentful of that,” Hotch notices, a bit surprised. It’s not an origin sorry everyone would be proud of. Her eyes turn back to him.

“I find it’s more important what you do with your time somewhere than how you got there. I contributed to many successful responses over the course of two years that had nothing to do with my size.” It is a great answer, and he holds back a smile of his own, simply nods.

“So you left Chicago to join the bureau; did you have your sights set on any department in particular?”

“I was torn between Language Analysis and Intelligence and ended up somewhere in the middle.”

“Intelligence because of your background, why Language Analysis?” Gideon asks.

“I speak 6: English, Spanish, and Italian as my native languages, plus Russian, French, and German. I have an ear for them.”

“Impressive,” Gideon says, nodding, lips pressed together. Cortes smiles, modest.

“It’s helpful; more than 30% of the population of Chicago speaks a language other than English at home.” Hotch does crack a smile at that, because the statistic reminds him of Reid.

“How would you describe your current role with Intelligence?”

“The official title is Intelligence Liaison. I’m part of a team that travels domestically and internationally, to law enforcement or government agencies, to debrief them on threats we’ve identified, or potential threat activity, and to help them formulate offensive countermeasures.” There is a lot of experience there that would translate well to the BAU, that much is clear. If anything, she may be overqualified, but they would never turn down the help.

“What’s the most frustrating part of your job?” It’s a question he always throws in, because true frustrations—and how one handles them—can say a lot about a person.

“When they don’t listen and people die. I do my best to make sure it doesn’t happen often.” He looks up from the form to the woman, who, in that moment, shows the things she’s seen all over her face. They’re gone from one blink to the next, and he breaks eye contact to choose his next question. No follow up needed there.

“It sounds like you have experience interacting with law enforcement, which is important here at the BAU. We can’t work on a case unless we are invited by the agency with jurisdiction, so maintaining healthy relationships is vital. We have a communications liaison who deals directly with police departments, sheriff’s stations, FBI field offices, and the media, but knowing how to handle them is a big part of the job.” It’s not a question as much as a confirmation, and she nods.

“I’m confident in my ability to interact with other law enforcement in a direct but respectful way. It’s something I’ve done a lot of as Intelligence Liaison.” He has one final question, and though he’s already more than pleased with the interview, the answer will make or break his decision.

“Why the BAU?”

“Curiosity is what got me interested in behavioral science, but it’s empathy that makes me interested in the BAU. My current work helps to save lives, but it’s all very large scale, and it can be detached, cold. I can be detached and impartial when I need to be, but I can’t deny it would feel like a better use of my skill set to make a more tangible difference.” He agrees, can already tell that she would thrive in the environment of their unit, and it’s just the kind of answer he’s looking for; he takes a few more notes, glances over at Gideon for input.

“Anything else you’d like to ask?”

“I think we’ve covered it,” he says, and he stands abruptly, which makes Agent Cortes stand as well. Hotch follows suit. “Nice to meet you. He’ll be in touch,” Gideon adds, shaking her hand briefly and leaving the room. She is left looking a little lost, and Hotch steps around the desk.

“I apologize for him, he’s a little…”

“Capricious?” she offers with a smile, and he laughs lightly.

“That’s accurate, actually. Please don’t take it personally.”

“I won’t. I’ve heard a lot about him, so he kind of lives up to my expectations.” She tilts her head, looking curious. “You don’t, though. Unit Chief Roberts told me you would be stoic; I expected someone much more aloof, but you’re actually rather warm.” He is a bit surprised by her directness, even more so that she would find him... warm.

“I doubt that my colleagues would agree with your assessment,” he says, thinking of the number of less than kind words used to describe him in the past. She just smiles again.

“I guess you really do need me on your team, then.”

He finds it hard not to agree.

“There are a few more things we’ll need from you, such as a psychological evaluation, recent performance reviews, a physical. I’ll be in touch with Agent Roberts, and then you, if we determine you are the right fit. I’ll see you out,” he adds, gesturing to the door, and she follows. The team, who was not yet in the bullpen when she arrived, looks on, curious, as they head to the glass double doors.

“Thank you for the opportunity to interview. I hope to hear from you soon,” she says with another firm handshake, and he nods.

“We’ll be in touch. It’s a pleasure to have made your acquaintance.”

“Likewise, Agent Hotchner.” She gets onto the elevator, and he heads back to the bullpen, stops specifically at Reid’s desk, though everyone is nearby.

“Congratulations, Reid: you’ve officially got a partner.” Reid smiles, looking pleased.

“Who is she?”

“Special Agent Sophia Cortes. She currently works for Intelligence. Bachelors’ in Psychology and Sociology, Masters’ in Criminology and Behavioral Sciences. Fluent in six languages. Got her start at Chicago PD like you, Morgan—Intelligence there too. And SWAT.”

“SWAT?” Morgan echoes, impressed. “She’s gotta be 5’2” out of those heels.”

“She’s got glowing reviews from her superiors there, and from her unit chief: he called her resilient, determined, empathetic, a team player. She’s good at communicating with law enforcement, victims, even unsubs. The BAU is the right place for her. We’ll just be waiting on paperwork to make it official.” He crosses his arms, leans back against the filing cabinet. “I’d have introduced you, but she doesn’t know she’s being offered the job just yet.”

“She must have made quite an impression on you for you to decide on the spot,” Prentiss says, and he nods his head in agreement.

“I think she’ll fit in well. I saw a little bit of each of you in her, and she’s very…” He tries to think of one word to sum up the woman he just interviewed, and decides with a half-smile: “warm.”

#aaron hotchner x original female character #hotch x original female character #latina original female character #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader

71 notes · View notes

thedumpsterqueen · 4 years

Text

Standards of Performance, Chapter 10: Accommodations

From the Beginning, Previous Chapter

AO3 Link

Thank you guys again for being so kind about the new posting schedule (or lack thereof). Your comments and messages and rbs always make me laugh and cry (in a a good way).This is just a lil chapter about them being awkward and cute after The Kiss, and introducing some bigger plot stuff. You'll wanna buckle up for the next one ;)

Summary: You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?

Chapter Summary: Some creep is stalking the team and all you can think about is kissing Hotch.

Words: 2059

Rating: Explicit, 18+. Warnings on AO3.

Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You

The BAU had a stalker.

To put it in a way more relevant to your views on the matter: the BAU’s stalker was interfering with the (hopefully) budding spark between you and Hotch.

It wasn’t that you didn’t care that there was potentially unhinged maniac apparently obsessed with the team, it’s just that when you got the slightly panicked phone call from JJ that Morgan, Reid, Garcia, and herself had all found letters on their doorstep professing an alarming fascination with the members of the team, you couldn’t help but feel a bit irritated that the ordeal was bound to put a pause on the progress you two had made.

That is, until you went to leave your apartment in the morning and found an unassuming envelope shoved under the door. You opened it with shaking fingers to a note written on thick cardstock, scrawled in black, seeping ink as if written by an old-fashioned quill.

I’ve been paying attention to your team for some time - quite the impact you’ve made on the world of crime. The heroes of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit! I’m sure the world wishes they had you during Bundy or BTK, hm?

Anyways, I had to see for myself. I must admit, finding you was much easier than I would have anticipated given your ‘status.’ I thought I’d drop you this note to say hi and propose a deal. A Game, of sorts.

The Game goes like this: I leave you notes, and you try to catch me! Easy, yes? This is day 1. How many days until you find me?

Xoxo Talk soon,

You put the note in your bag and, after double checking your door was locked (not that the flimsy deadbolt the landlord had installed would have done much to keep an intruder out anyways), you rushed to the office. You dropped your note on the table in the conference room where the team had gathered and pointed at it tremulously.

“I got one too. I touched it, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking -”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rossi interrupted. “We dusted the others; there was nothing. I doubt yours was any different.”

Hotch plucked your letter up and scanned it quickly before tossing it back on the table. “It’s exactly the same as the others. Nothing identifiable.”

“Why didn’t we get them?” asked Prentiss.

“Access,” said Garcia, notably less cheery than usual. The team turned to her for clarification.

“You three are hard to get to,” she explained. “Hotch and Prentiss live in secure apartment buildings. Rossi has a gated property with security that can rival the President’s. Those of us who don’t live the high life are just... out in the open.”

“So that’s encouraging, right? That the unsub either couldn’t or wouldn’t go through the extra trouble of getting to all of us?” JJ asked, hopeful.

Morgan shook his head. “I dunno if you can interpret any part of what this creep is doing to intimidate us as ‘encouraging.’”

“Does it read as intimidation, though?” mused Reid.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Morgan responded. “What’s your take on the language?”

Reid took a millisecond to reread the letter and pursed his lips. “Though the language isn’t directly threatening, the concept of a game implies either winning or losing. He - it’s almost certainly a he - doesn’t mention the consequences for either situation, which could imply that there are none, but that seems unlikely. There’s also the matter of separating himself from others in line three - ‘I’m sure the world wishes they had you during Bundy or BTK,’ not we. He’s trying to distinguish himself to us in some way, which means he wants to be noticed, and I don’t think there’s anything in this language that excludes the possibility of him doing something drastic in order to be.”

“So not encouraging,” said Prentiss dryly. “The question is, why us? Is this personal; did we put someone close to him away?”

“It could be, but the language in the opening seems sarcastic almost, like he’s mocking us,” noted Rossi.

Morgan nodded in agreement. “It’s a challenge. He’s trying to tell us we’re not all we’re cracked up to be.”

The analysis worried you, because you felt you were the only member of the team for whom that statement might have been true.

“So, what then?” you asked. “Review security footage and see if we can find anything?”

“Already did!” chirped Garcia. “Hotch had me up all night reviewing the tapes.”

For the first time, you noticed the dark circles under her standard coat of heavy makeup. You looked at Hotch, expecting to find some shame in his expression, but found none.

“If there was anyone weird creeping around your dwellings last night, I didn’t see ‘em. I even looked through the street cameras in the area. Granted, none of you have a security camera pointed directly at your door, which might not be a bad idea after this -”

“Hold on,” Morgan interrupted, “you didn’t check her apartment though, right?” referring to you. “Cuz she just found it this morning?”

Garcia perked up, but you shot her down with a shake of your head. “Sorry guys, my place isn’t nearly nice enough to have security cameras.”

The team looked unperturbed by that, except for Hotch, who met your eyes with a look you couldn’t quite place.

“What do we do, then? Wait for another letter?” JJ asked.

“That’s all we can do until we have more evidence,” said Hotch, visibly frustrated. He hated waiting, you knew that. You all hated it. It felt like watching a car without its parking brake on slowly start to roll down a hill.

“If that’s all, sir…”

Hotch nodded at Garcia. “You’re all dismissed. Business as usual for now. If he craves acknowledgement, best not to give it to him unless we have to.”

The team filtered out, and you made to follow them, but before making it through the doorway, Hotch called you back. He shifted feet, cleared his throat, and looked at you.

“About the comment you made earlier,” he started.

What comment? You wracked your brain trying to remember if you’d said something rude, or something that hinted at what happened between you two, but came up short.

He noticed the puzzled look on your face and clarified. “When you said your apartment complex wasn’t nice enough to have security cameras. I wanted to say that -” he ran his hand across his jaw, clearly uncomfortable, “- I know the internship salary isn’t impressive, and if you feel you’re unable to afford safe accommodation, I’d be more than happy to talk to Strauss about -”

“Oh, God, no.” You felt as if your face was on fire. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way, my apartment is fine - I mean of course there’s things that could be improved - but in no way do I feel unsafe.”

“Well, good. Okay then.”

Before you could make your exit and spare you both from the residual awkwardness of the interaction, he spoke again. “There’s one more thing. Given that whoever wrote this note has displayed his willingness to come to our doorsteps, JJ is staying with Emily for the time being, Reid with Rossi, and Garcia with Morgan.”

You smirked at the last pairing. Leave it to those two to capitalize on a stalker to bunk up together.

“I was going to have the Bureau get you a hotel in the meantime, since he did come to your apartment, but Garcia suggested that since we live so close, you could just… stay with me.”

Holy shit.

There was a pained look on his face as he finished the sentence as if he recognized what an utterly bad idea it was, but hadn’t had the good sense to reject it himself. He looked at you, expecting an answer despite the lack of a question mark at the end of that statement, and you struggled mightily to compose yourself to deliver an acceptance that didn’t appear uncomfortably enthusiastic.

You must have taken too long, because he immediately started to retract his offer. “I already told her it was completely inappropriate; the rest of the team is used to staying together for cases but given you just started, and after the last few days I completely understand -”

“No!” You cut him off. “Sorry, no, that’s not what I was going to say at all. I’d love to. I mean, I think it’s a good idea. I’d feel a lot safer…”

‘With you around?’ Is that too much?

Fuck it.

“... with you around,” you finished, and you swear you saw him push back a smile.

“Alright, then. I’ll let Garcia know.”

You made a mental note to send that woman a thank-you card.

***

As the workday wound down, you were surprised to Hotch turn out his office light and walk out at the same time as you did.

“Early night?” you teased as you walked to your cars in the parking garage, despite it being 7 pm.

He chuckled. “It would have been rude of me to keep you hanging around until I decided to leave.”

Right. You were leaving together. Because you were going back to his apartment. Together. The undeniable domesticity of the moment put a skip in your step, and you couldn’t help but wish this was happening under different circumstances.

“So I’ll just stop by my apartment and grab my things?”

“What? No,” Hotch responded, frowning. “I’m coming with you. The whole point of all of this is to avoid being alone.”

And that’s how you ended up speeding down the highway like a madwoman, leaving Hotch in your dust, taking the stairs two at a time, and frantically scrambling to get your apartment in order. It wasn’t terrible; not as if you had rotting food sitting out or something (probably because you didn’t actually cook enough for that), but the recent caseload and spending so much time with Hotch in the mornings had certainly pushed general organization to the wayside. You shoved the growing pile of dirty laundry into your closet, straightened up the coffee table, and were in the middle of packing your suitcase when you heard a knock at the door.

Giving the apartment a quick once-over to make sure you hadn’t missed something utterly humiliating, you opened the door to an unimpressed Hotch.

“I could have pulled you over for speeding, you know,” he said as he strode into your living room.

“Yeah, sorry,” you said sheepishly, “I wanted to make sure this place wasn’t a mess the first time you saw it.”

He cocked an eyebrow and you realized how that came out - the first time, as if there were going to be many more - and you coughed and looked away.

“Anyways. I’m almost done packing, just gotta grab a couple more things.”

He nodded and you hurried to it, wanting to get him out of your apartment as quickly as possible. Normally you’d have jumped at the chance to be alone in a quiet place with him, but the way his eyes were scanning the room made you nervous that he was learning more about you in a very short amount of time than you felt entirely comfortable with.

***

You walked into Hotch’s apartment for the second time ever to find it just as clinically neat as before, except for a set of sheets and blankets laid out on the couch. Grinning, you gestured to them.

“Thought you said you were sure I would say no?”

It was his turn to be shamefaced. “Just in case. Besides,” he shot back, grabbing your bags from where you’d deposited them by the couch, “You’re taking the bed.”

“Like hell I am!” you scoffed, forgoing propriety. “I’m not making my boss sleep on the couch in his own apartment.”

“Considering I, as you mentioned, am your boss,” he responded, “I will be making that decision.”

You plopped down on the couch. “Unless I just refuse to move.”

He stood a few paces away and glared, but gave up and dropped your bags all the same.

You could have sworn you heard him mutter “brat” under his breath, but that didn’t sound like something Aaron Hotchner would say, did it?

Taglist (I got a bunch of new ones so message me if I forgot to add you!): @stop-drop-and-drumroll @criminalmindzjunkie @xoprincessmel @cevanswhre @addie5264 @klinenovakwinchester @honeyshores @violentvulgarvolatile @masumiyetimziyanoldu @violetclifford @pipersaccomplice @itsmytimetoodream @groovygoob @captainhyenafan @thebadassbitchqueen

253 notes · View notes

eskalations · 3 years

Text

"I've always known that I was a big target for them - almost as big as Erwin himself - but I never thought they would go after my own daughter." Levi released a dark chuckle at this, closing his eyes in disbelief. 'I can't believe my stupidity. The Titans have cut down families before, I don't know what made me think that mine would be any different."

(Rivetra AU where Petra is a pediatric nurse and Levi is a single father)

Hello! Wow oh wow! I haven't written since August and this oneshot definitely made it more obvious. Originally it was only supposed to be about 5,000 words but it soon grew into the monster that it is now. Will it stay a oneshot forever? I don't know...but for now, it is what it is! Editing this was a nightmare, so I apologize for any missed mistakes, as well as my poor writing skills that have been underutilized for quite some time.

I hope regardless of that, you will still enjoy this! I just finished AOT and this couple's story absolutely gripped my heart. Here you go, Rivetra fandom!

As always, reviews are MUCH appreciated. So please be sure to tell me what you think!

Petra Ral was NOT having a good day.

While she had been a night nurse for several years now, her penchant for making rookie mistakes was almost as bad as it had been when she started. Upon crashing into bed at seven this morning, she had completely forgotten to set her alarm for later in the day. Hence, why she was running through the streets of Paradis like a madwoman.

Her co-workers were less than impressed with her dramatic entry onto the ward. Nanaba was glaring at her over the top of the counter, while Nifa bristled from beside the employee water tower.

"Really, Petra?" The spunky redhead commented in a low, disapproving tone - watching as the other ginger woman threw her bag down onto the floor beneath the desk and hurriedly began to punch in her time. "This oversleeping thing is getting pretty old, considering it's six in the afternoon, not six in the morning."

Petra held back a growl as she fumbled with her card, sticking it into the machine but not getting any response due to the shakiness of insertion. Finally, she heard a click and withdrew the parchment. With her heart still racing like mad after her dash up the stairs, she dropped in exhaustion into a vacant chair.

“You say that - “ Petra spoke for the first time since entering Paradis Hospital, her usual chipper voice hoarse from her ragged breathing. “ - but you’re not the one who worked a 12-hour shift yesterday. You were too busy working on that boyfriend of yours to even - "

“Shhhhhh!” Nifa’s face glowed scarlet as she shushed the young woman, her pale skin heating at the vulgar comment. Nanaba just laughed quietly at her friend’s embarrassment, turning her attention back to the file in front of her. All the nurses and doctors bustling about around the counter paid the girls no mind, used to the familiar banter between the three.

"Say what you want about Nifa's love life," Nanaba bristled, pulling out another form from the file in front of her for closer observation. The blonde's eyes cut towards Petra, disapproval evident in her tone. "But your the one who's late today. We had a pretty intense case come into the ward too from emergency."

“What?!” Petra yelped, her nurse’s instincts kicking in instantly at Nananba’s words. Despite her still heaving chest, the young woman sat up straighter to observe the report that was being handed over to her. “Is the child okay?”

"She's stable." Nanaba offered, turning back to the folder on her desk to grab a few more forms. "However, she's going to need to be watched closely throughout the night. The poor thing was stabbed and the blade had poison on it."

Petra wished she could act shocked, but she wasn’t. Paradis Hospital received several stab cases a day due to the gang violence in the area. The Titans certainly weren’t pulling any of their punches when it came to looting. Regardless of whether their victim was eight or eighty, they would steal from anyone with a bit of coin in their pocket.

Stabbings weren't super common on the pediatric ward, but common enough that all the staff who bustled about barely batted an eye at the thought of such an injury being treated on the floor.

"She's already been stitched up and the antidote for the poison has been administered - but, the emergency department sent her up here for monitoring, just in case she relapses," Nifa explained, now leaning over the counter to read the forms Nanaba still held in her hands. The blonde threw her an exasperated look.

“She’s not your patient, so stop being so damn nosy.”

"Well, I've never - " Nifa scoffed at the blonde's scathing tone, though Petra could hear the amusement behind it. "Sorry, for wanting to dedicate my life for the next 12-hours to a hot man with a nice - oh, I mean to a sweet little girl with a -"

"Nifa!" Petra exclaimed, catching on to what the young woman was implying. "Don't tell me you're trying to hit on a little girl's father while she's bedridden in the hospital! Have you no shame?"

“Not really!”

Even Nanaba laughed at Nifa's answer.

"Well, too bad for you, since you have a boyfriend." The blonde reminded her, to which the red-headed nurse simply stuck out her tongue. " - and Petra has been assigned to be her nurse."

“Me?” Petra had the gall to act surprised, but her friends simply rolled their eyes at her modest response.

“Oh please!" Nifa sighed, crossing her arms over the counter to once again lean closer to the girls on the other side. One of the older doctors, a man with grey hair and spectacles, eyed her disapprovingly as he passed. Nifa didn't even spare him a glance. "While you may be a notorious flake when it comes to arriving on time, it's no secret that they entrust you with the higher priority cases on the ward."

Nifa was right - it wasn't a secret. Since graduating at the top of her class in nursing school, she had always been highly respected for not only her knowledge but bedside manner, as well. Just last year, she had received an award for having the highest satisfaction rate on her floor. Now, if only she could show up to work on time…

“- he’s really short, but his eyes - wow!" Petra was brought back from her thoughts by Nifa's words. Nanaba was shaking her head as she wrote a note down in one of her patient files, trying to tune out the girl's excessive praise. "He's got that rough around the edges look, yet is put together and clean and - "

"I hate to cut you off in the middle of your fantasy - " Petra commented before standing and collecting the patient papers from the desk. "- but I have patients to take care of."

Nifa's mouth popped open in shock, her expression quickly turning to one of disbelief at the sight of Petra's teasing look.

“Says the girl who was LATE!”

Petra chuckled, shrugging her shoulders as she rushed off to her first patient's room, ready to begin her shift with newfound energy. Despite her exhaustion from the night before and the soreness in her limbs, she couldn't approach the job she loved with anything less than excitement and positivity.

Maybe it would be a good day after all.

Upon entering Heidi Ackerman's room twenty minutes later though, Petra was once again lamenting the horrible luck that seemed to be plaguing her during the past twenty-four hours.

It wasn't the child who was causing her such discomfort, but her father.

After having checked on and familiarizing herself with the low-risk patients she had been assigned, Petra finally decided to introduce herself to the latest Titan's stab victim that was residing on her ward. Checking the young girl's forms before entering the room, the nurse noticed that the child was due for a round of medication soon anyways.

‘Perfect,' Petra thought to herself while turning the knob of the door. 'If I take care of her medications now, I won’t have to return for another hour and then I can go check on - ‘

Petra's thoughts were interrupted by the sight that met her upon entry to the room.

Nifa wasn’t kidding - the guy was short. Like, really short.

Petra rarely met a male anywhere close to her height - so, the short stature of the figure that stood by the lone window of the room, instantly caught her attention.

The second thing that caught her attention? His looks.

While the man was certainly not attractive by societal standards, his piercing gaze was enough to stop any woman in her path. His eyes were grey and heavily hooded by pale white lids and beneath his stare, lay two dark bags that spoke of a restless nature. Despite the blatant signs of exhaustion, his dark hair lay near perfect across his forehead, the shaved lower half of it buzzed in an undercut fashion.

He was captivating and terrifying all at once.

“Oi, are you just going to stand there?”

His gravelly, low voice broke her from her analysis, jolting her back to reality as he shifted his posture to a more casual stance. Whereas he once stood rigid, he now placed a hand on his hip and schooled his features to resemble something more akin to indifference.

Realizing she had never responded, Petra suddenly jumped into action.

"Oh!" She smiled awkwardly, not quite feeling like her usual self. Typically, talking to patients and their families wasn't so difficult for her, but this guy was unlike her usual clientele. He practically exuded indifference and didn't look very interested in receiving an answer to what she had to assume was a rhetorical question - but Petra did not care. "Hello, my name's Petra Ral, I'll be the night nurse for Miss Heidi."

As if saying her name had reminded her of exactly why she was standing there in the first place, Petra turned her smiling face towards the bed, trying not to show her concern as her gaze fell on the small child.

Heidi Ackerman at five years old had experienced more pain in the past several hours than some adults would face in their entire lifetime. While the child's sweet features could still be seen over the top of the crisp white blankets, the pained lines of her forehead spoke of a quiet distress that had taken a hold of her and refused to let go.

Petra ached to go towards her - however, a snide remark from the man on the other side of the room had her pausing.

“You’re going to attend my child looking like that?” Disgust was evident in the man’s tone as he gave her a once over from top to bottom. “Ever heard of an iron?”

The young woman could feel her face go red at his comment, her eyes glancing down at the outfit she typically wore during her shift - a white nurses uniform, tights, and white slip-ons. The front of her outfit was pristine white - however, the bottom of her skirt had a set of small wrinkles. Petra went redder as she realized that in her confusion to get dressed after having slept in, she had picked up her uniform from the previous night that had been lying atop of the hamper.

Most people wouldn't even have noticed her slightly used uniform, but somehow this man had called her out on it, despite it only having had a few wrinkles of use embedded in the fabric.

Petra was furious. Of course, she wasn't going to show it, since she was a professional - but she couldn’t help but bite back, even if it was just a little.

“Yeah - well you aren’t looking too good either, so I guess we're even.”

The man cocked an eyebrow at her comment, before looking down at himself to see what she was talking about.

In Petra's defense, she hadn't actually looked at the man's clothes. When she had entered the room, she had been so distracted by his face, that she hadn't even gotten the opportunity. But, as he looked down at himself in search of the reason for her comment, Petra was able to give him a once over too. After examining his outfit of choice, Petra had to bite back a groan from the error of her comment.

He was dressed immaculately, wearing a dark brown leather jacket with a white shirt underneath and a pair of slender black jeans on the bottom. On his feet, were a pair of shiny, black combat boots that looked as though they had been polished that very morning.

However, the state of his clothes was not the reason Petra wanted the Earth to swallow her whole. It was the substance on the front of his shirt.

Blood.

“Tch," The man clicked his tongue, having caught sight of the dried, red blood covering his otherwise pristine white shirt. "I guess my child's blood isn't the best accessory to wear, huh?"

Fully embarrassed by her comment, Petra immediately stuck out her hands in defense, forms and all.

“Sir, I’m sorry. I truly didn’t mean - “

“I’m sure.” The words were said with such a quiet finality, that the woman felt her tongue grow heavy in her mouth. Not knowing what else to say, the room fell into an awkward silence that even Petra’s vivacious personality couldn’t conquer.

Perhaps, she had officially met her match.

The man continued to stare at her with his slate-gray eyes as the silence drug on - however, they were both interrupted from their thoughts by a quiet cough coming from the bed.

‘That’s right!’ Petra thought, a newfound energy taking hold of her as she returned her attention to the small patient residing in the bed. ‘She’s the reason I’m here.’

"Sorry, Miss Heidi!" Petra adopted her usual, chipper tone as she approached the child, already glancing at the chart that had been left on the wall at her side. While the form should have match the one she had been given, she wasn't one to cut corners, so she began to read over it to check for any additional information that could have been missed. "Your father and I are rudely neglecting you. Are you in any pain at the moment?"

While most children instantly brightened at the ginger's easygoing bedside manner - Heidi, much like her father, was not acting like a typical patient. Instead of answering, the small, dark-haired girl remained silent, glancing over at the woman with the same hooded gray eyes as her father.

Petra found the whole thing incredibly unnerving. To keep herself busy, she began to check the young girl's vitals. As she glanced over the numbers, she snuck a peek at her charge who still lay silent in the hospital bed.

Despite her lack of response to Petra's earlier question, the woman could see from the lines of distress on the girl's forehead that something was bothering her. She knew from the child's file that she had been slashed with a knife across the stomach and had been on the receiving end of an incredibly deadly poison. There probably wasn't much on her body that didn't hurt at this point.

Although she knew that the young girl must be in pain, the silence continued to grow as the two females in the room kept their gazes locked on the other.

Finally, Heidi turned to her father, who had been watching the scene unfold from his designated spot by the window. The girl's eyes shone with nothing short of fear as she appeared to silently communicate with her father. While the look on the poor child's features caused Petra's heart to clench, the man by the window merely bristled at his daughter's behavior.

"Stop trying to be tough, brat." His voice was rough, the edge in his tone similar to what it had been a minute ago. However, Petra was relieved to note a slight gentleness to his words that hadn't been present in their earlier conversation. "There's no reason to hide your pain if you're feeling any."

While the young nurse imagined any normal child would flinch at such words being thrown at them after having experienced such trauma - Heidi just blinked at her father's comment, almost as if pondering the meaning behind it.

Petra was about to jump in, having seen quite enough of the man's crass attitude towards his daughter, when the little girl finally spoke. Feebly, but with conviction.

“My stomach burns.”

Unlike her father's voice, Heidi had a sweet, slightly high-pitched voice, that would have had Petra cooing, had it not been for the current predicament the child was in.

“That’s to be expected.” The ginger responded understandingly, wanting the girl to know that she was someone she could trust over the next twelve hours. “What if I told you that I have some medicine that could make it feel better? Would you like that, Miss Heidi?”

Heidi hesitated for a moment, pulling the crisp white blanket up to her chin, almost acting like she was ashamed for having to take medicine. However, only a few beats passed before she nodded in response to the young woman's question.

"Perfect!" Petra's smile grew, the genuine kindness that typically radiated from her, shining from the depths of her chestnut eyes. "You're going to need a drink to help you wash down your pills - and I know they may taste a little nasty - so, how about I get you a juice to make it just a little bit better?"

As though a switch had been flipped, Heidi’s pale hands dropped the sheet covering the lower half of her face, revealing a tiny, rosebud mouth opened in shock. The dull gray of her eyes that had been so flat just a few moments ago, sparkled at the prospect of such a treat.

It made Petra’s heart clench once again.

The nurse was about to ask what flavor the girl wanted when her attention was drawn back to the man standing on the other side of the room. He had made a disapproving noise with his tongue as his daughter's face lit up at the thought of the sweet drink.

"Now you've done it." The man chuckled, though there was no real humor behind it. "This girl's favorite thing in the world is sweets. Now she's going to say she's in pain, just so she can get some juice."

“Sir,” Petra responded firmly, her once shining brown eyes hardening at such a careless statement. “I’m sorry, but after what she’s been through today, I think the least we could do is allow her to have some juice.”

The man shrugged his shoulders, raising his brows as though to tell her ‘do what you want’.

Which she would - gladly, in fact.

Turning back towards Heidi, who was now watching her father with a concerned expression, Petra attempted to redirect the girl’s attention.

"What flavor do you want?" That got Heidi's head swiveling back towards her. "I have cherry, grape, apple, orange, or watermelon."

“Uhhhh - “ Heidi pondered over her choices, looking up at the ceiling as though the answer would be there. After a few moments of thinking it over, the girl finally glanced back at the nurse waiting anxiously by her bedside. “I guess...cherry?”

“Excellent choice!” Petra agreed, readying herself to leave the room, but stopping dead in her tracks when hearing Heidi’s little voice again.

“Is that okay, Daddy?”

Petra watched as the little girl turned to her father, gauging his reaction for some kind of approval. The nurse waited with bated breath as the man simply stared back at the child, giving no indication of his approval either way.

Just when he was opening his mouth to give Heidi an answer - Petra jumped in, tired of witnessing the power dynamic in front of her.

“Your Daddy’s not the one drinking the juice, Heidi - so, I’m sure your choice is of no real consequence to him. Isn’t that right, Mr. Ackerman?”

There was a challenge in her tone, the words laced with borderline rudeness as she stared down the man across the room from her. Never in her life had she been so sharp with a patient nor a patient's family - however, she guessed there was no day like today. If she was going to get fired due to bad conduct, at least let it be because she stood up for a child who seemed to be in want of an advocate.

What reaction she was expecting to get from the man, she did not know - but it certainly wasn't a smirk.

He was smirking at her.

The silence stretched on for a few more seconds, the man's thin lips holding that frustrating smirk in place. He watched her as though waiting for what she was going to do next, but instead of shrinking under his gaze, she simply crossed her arms over her chest, ready to stand her ground.

Once the older Ackerman noticed Heidi’s head swiveling from side to side, watching their reactions, he released another tired, breathy chuckle.

“That’s right, Miss Ral.”

Petra hated to admit it - but, even after exiting the room, her legs continued to shake as she made her way down the hall. The trembles soon transferred into her hands as she poured the little girl a glass of cherry juice.

Upon re-entering the room, the first thing Petra noticed was that Mr. Ackerman had moved from what she thought was going to be his permanent spot in the room. He now stood by his daughter where she lay in her hospital bed, speaking quietly to her about something that the nurse couldn’t hear.

The second he saw her walk through the door, he quickly quieted - his lips returning to the thin line of indifference that she had become acquainted with, not too long ago. Choosing to ignore the strange atmosphere that settled over the room at such a blatant display of secrecy, Petra smiled brightly towards the child lying in the bed.

She was her priority.

“Alright, Miss Heidi!” Petra chirped happily, trying her best to return to the usual persona that she emulated while within the walls of the hospital. “Time for your medicine! If you could just sit up for me - “

The girl began to shift higher up in the bed, struggling to prop herself up against the pillows that lay behind her. Petra rushed to find somewhere to set the glass of juice down so that she could help her patient - however, she was beaten to it.

The girl's father placed his hands underneath her armpits, slowly pulling her back towards the head of the bed. After she was situated a little bit higher, he released his grip on her before tugging at the pillows to arrange them in a fashion that was more comfortable for her. Though he moved with purpose, his actions held a tenderness that Petra was surprised to see. If this was an unusual occurrence for Heidi, she certainly didn't show it on her tired, yet grateful features.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

The man grunted in response, patting his hand on the pillow behind her head one more time before moving his hands back to his pockets.

Petra’s brow rose in response to the uncharacteristic helpfulness she had just witnessed, but she tried to school her features in a way that didn’t show her surprise.

“Well - “ The woman cleared her throat, before handing the glass of juice over to the girl, to give herself time to retrieve the pills she had placed in the pocket at the front of her dress. “Hopefully, your pain will lessen after you take these.”

Heidi gave a shy nod at the woman’s words, looking warily at the pills. Noticing the child’s hesitance, the older Ackerman reached for the cup of juice in her shaking hands. With the movement of his arm, Petra watched as the cuff of his jacket slid up and over the skin of his wrist.

She couldn’t hide her surprise at what she saw branded there.

It was a ‘Wings of Freedom’ tattoo.

This man was a part of the Survey Corps.

It wasn’t that Petra had never interacted with an SC member before, it was just that they normally didn’t frequent this side of the hospital. Most of them didn’t have children and, even if they did, most of them wouldn’t have the opportunity to care for them properly.

It was no secret that of all the cities in Marley, Paradis was the one that had the biggest gang violence problem. Paradis was deemed as the headquarters for the infamous Titans gang, a group of thugs who were well-versed in politics and typically well-educated. One could never know that someone was a Titan, since they blended in so well to society.

There were rumors floating around that several larger corporations had Titans at the helm, working their way through the ranks in an attempt to have a better chance at being elected into political office. Their end goal was unclear - however, their violent acts and shady business dealings had escalated over the recent years.

Suddenly, businessmen who were in perfectly good health one day were turning up dead in a river the next. The same went for major political figures. Several big-name military men had been cut down in the streets and in their homes, to the point where the implications couldn't be ignored.

This was an all-out war.

Though Petra had been busy in nursing school at the time, she still vividly remembered Commander Erwin Smith’s case - since it had eventually led to the creation of the Survey Corps.

Erwin Smith had walked into his home one day after a long day of work, only to be attacked by a group of four masked Titans brandishing knives. While the Commander had lost an arm as a result of the poison on the blades that had come in contact with his arm, he was able to fight off all four assailants and come through the accident with a clear vision of what needed to be done.

This incident prompted the formation of the Survey Corps.

The Survey Corps was a group of former criminals who would have otherwise faced jail time or execution if they chose not to serve their government. The Commander's idea was that when it came to the Titans - one had to fight fire with fire. For him, the Survey Corps was his fire.

The men would be given a meager compensation in exchange for their loyalty, as well as a full pardon for the crimes they had committed in the past. All they had to do was promise their hearts to the cause.

Petra had always thought the venture sounded like a risky one. How could someone trust a criminal? If someone was willing to commit a crime once, wouldn’t they be willing to do it again? From what she had seen of the SC members who had been wheeled into the Emergency Room over the past few years, they looked more like thugs than the actual Titans themselves.

However, it appeared that that was the whole point.

The Survey Corps were used to obtain information about the Titans from the inside. To learn about the Titans, it seemed you had to act like one. Once inside, their goal was to negotiate deals with the underlings, who would then pass on the information to the SC in exchange for compensation. No surprise, though - these exchanges could turn deadly pretty quickly.

The young nurse couldn’t imagine how anyone could trust a criminal to infiltrate the enemy without the fear of them turning themselves - but from what she had heard, Commander Erwin Smith was a very good leader who kept a tight hold on all the men who worked under him.

Petra guessed as much since a good majority of them had small government-issued tracking devices located somewhere on their person - somewhere that they were unaware of, of course.

The woman had only ever seen an actual 'Wings of Freedom' tattoo once, and it was on the wrist of a body that was being rolled to the morgue past her in the hallway one day. The symbol was a sign of rank. Much like how the military operated, the Survey Corps themselves had a set of ranks that signaled a separation of powers within the group.

Only captains and the Commander himself were given the ‘honor’ of bearing the SC tattoo. The placement was purposeful, too - right on the wrist, where an opponent’s eyes would be drawn as they wielded their signature blades.

Suddenly, the behavior of the man made a lot more sense. He was a former thug - now, turned Captain of the Survey Corps.

The nature of Heidi’s injury also made a lot more sense now. She wasn’t victim to a few Titan pick-pockets on the street of Paradis. She was a victim to her father’s line of work.

She had been caught up in the crossfire.

"Miss Ral?" At the sound of the man's deep, gravelly voice, Petra looked up only to be met by a steely gray gaze. He had noticed where her eyes had fallen and had also deduced where her train of thought was drifting. "Are you ready to hand over the medicine?"

His tone was polite enough, not to alert Heidi to the mounting tension that seemed to build with every interaction the two adults had - but there was certainly an edge to it. He was pretty much daring her to ask questions.

Petra certainly was not taking the bait.

“Yes,” The woman responded, slowly. The smile that had fallen from her face at the sight of the man’s tattoo, returned as she warmly regarded her waiting patient. “Let’s get this over with!”

Neither father nor daughter caught the double meaning behind her words.

This shift could not go by fast enough.

After what she could only describe as ‘the longest 12-hour shift ever,’ Petra was ready to hit the sack and enjoy the next two days off.

It seemed like fate, though - had other plans.

"What?" The woman groaned as she pulled her time card out of the slot, her whine catching the attention of a few doctors passing by. Petra couldn't care less what they thought of her right now, she was exhausted - and the news Nanaba had given her was definitely less than welcome "There expediting Krista's maternity leave? Isn't she still like - I don't know - four months away from giving birth?!"

Nifa shook her head from her usual spot by the water tower, looking just about ready to fall over herself.

“Two months,” She reminded the frazzled ginger, chuckling at the groan her answer received. “It was bound to happen sooner or later with how faint she’s been - it just so happens that they made the call during a hospital-wide nursing shortage.”

Petra didn’t want to seem inconsiderate, but this news had really put a wrench in her plans - plans which had included nothing but cleaning and sleeping - but plans nonetheless! There were about a million other things she'd rather do than continue to cross paths with her patient's reticent father.

She had really thought that as the hours passed, his mood would perhaps lift and become a bit more pleasant - but no, things had only seemed to get worse.

While Heidi had slept most of the night, it was almost as if the dark-haired man was reluctant to close his eyes. No matter how many times Petra had walked in there over the past twelve hours, he never moved from his spot near the window. Even when Petra offered to help move the chair over closer to the wall so that he could see, he had glared at her as though she had outright insulted him.

Never had Petra felt so uncomfortable while tending to a patient and she had been doing this for years!

The worst instance of this was when she had gone to change Heidi's bandages over where her injury was. While she had tended to many injured patients before, she could feel a cold sweat breaking out along her hairline as she gently removed the bandages from the young girl's pale skin.

Every movement she made was subject to his intimidating glare - almost as though he was waiting to snap at her the second she made a wrong move. Though he was trying to hide it behind a wall of indifference, Petra could tell that he was on edge as she began to work on Heidi’s wound.

If one thing could be said, it was that Petra had never met a five-year-old quite like Heidi before. Though she remained silent for most of the night, the young woman could tell that she was highly intelligent and aware. Never before had she had a patient who was able to grit their teeth and fight their pain so well. Not even when her bandage got stuck on a small area of irritated skin did Heidi release a whimper.

Petra knew the whole process must have caused her a great deal of pain - however, like her father said, she was hellbent on acting tough.

It wasn’t until she got to the part of the cut that appeared to be the most severe that the child even happened to make a sound.

“Is that tender?” She had asked, but it was more of a formality. The lines of distress on the girl’s forehead told her all she needed to know. “I’ll try to make it quick.”

Heidi said nothing in response, but at her obvious signs of discomfort, her father shifted forward - hands still in his pockets, but his rigid posture showing that he wasn't nearly as indifferent as he tried to act.

Petra was suddenly aware of the man's eyes following the movements of her hands and - though she had done this in front of an audience many times - his attention made her more nervous than she had ever been before. Not only were his eyes watching her like a hawk's - but his body was also tilting forward , closer to her, to see exactly what she was doing.

Under such pressure, she panicked - something that was highly unlike her on a normal day.

With the man's eyes boring holes into her hands, her sweaty palms lost their grip on the bandage she had been trying to pull gently from the skin. Heidi's reaction was instantaneous.

While she had made little more than a whimper up to that point, when the bandage slipped from Petra's hand and the skin of her palm made contact with the stitches that lay over the girl's abdomen - a short, little whelp escaped from her lips at the pain.

If that didn’t have the nurse feeling bad enough, Heidi’s dad’s reaction almost had her crying.

While most parents would be understanding of such a small mistake - many not even realizing she had made one - because he had been watching her so closely, he had borne witness to her error. The shock on his face, expressed only by the raise of his brows and the slight opening of his mouth, soon morphed into something much more threatening - anger.

"Don't you know how to do your job?" The man seethed, glaring at her with the same eyes that had been watching her so closely moments before. While his voice was not loud, the quiet tone almost made it that much scarier. "Can't you see that your mistake has caused her pain?"

Petra didn’t know what else to do besides look at him like a gaping fish.

"Well - are you competent enough to continue your work, or should I request another nurse?"

“No sir,” The woman answered, quietly - in a sort of daze from the man’s unusual reaction. Though she thought he was going to argue some more with her - he instead leaned back against the wall next to Heidi’s bed and continued to watch her in silence, as though he hadn’t questioned her skill at all.

Petra rolled her shoulders back, steeling herself to do the same thing she had done a million times. She would not let this man get to her twice.

After apologizing to the small girl, who merely gave a meek nod in response, Petra finished removing the old bandage from her cut. Once the wound had been cleaned and rebandaged - the nurse hurriedly made herself scarce, barely giving the girl's father a second glance.

When she had left the room, her face had been flushed and she had felt as though she was going to cry - but after hearing the taunts from her friends at the desk, thinking she had had some kind of flirtation with her patient's father, she instead turned to the next room and prepared herself to tend to her other patients.

“Earth to Petra?” Nifa’s voice brought her back to the present, something she was grateful for. Though it had been a long shift, at least it was finally over. “So, are you going to cover Krista for the rest of the week?”

Petra groaned once again. She had forgotten why she had spaced out for so long in the first place - they wanted her to take on the night shift for an additional two days.

"Hey!" Nifa chirped, crossing the small distance that separated her from Petra, throwing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "The good thing is you'll get almost a full week off if you finish all your hours now!"

"Yeah - " Petra agreed reluctantly, though her voice held little excitement. "But what good are hours off if I'm too exhausted to enjoy them?"

"All you do is clean, you neat freak! Don't act like it's going to spoil a hot date or something!"

Nanaba chuckled at Nifa's words, also reaching to pick up her card and clock out. "You know, she's not wrong."

Petra blushed at their goading. “How would you know?”

Both girls looked at her dubiously, their reaction causing Petra to blush an even deeper shade of red. Nifa shook her head, clucking her tongue in disappointment.

“I rest my case.”

“Oh, shove it!” Petra grabbed her bag from the floor, ready to leave the past 12-hour shift behind. “I’ll cover Krista’s damn shifts if it means I’ll get some time away from you weirdos next week.”

Nanaba rolled her eyes at Petra's dramatics, while Nifa simply laughed in response, also retrieving her bag from under the counter. Though both busied themselves by getting their stuff together to take home, neither missed the shameless smirk Petra sent over her shoulder.

“I guess this is the price one has to pay when they’ve been named the most satisfactory nurse on the ward.”

Now, this comment had both Nifa and Nanaba groaning, the girls rushing to catch up with Petra as she made her way to the stairwell.

The second day Petra was assigned to the Ackerman’s was just as strange as the first.

After getting a good 8-hour rest, the nurse entered the hospital with a renewed bounce in her step. The reason? She had pressed her uniform to perfection and had even pushed back her shoulder-length hair with a headband with not a hair out of place.

‘Let’s see what that man can find wrong with me now,’ Petra thought to herself as she clocked in for the day, only to be shocked by what she saw going on at Room 325 - Heidi Ackerman's room.

She could recognize the dark blue suits of the Military Police from a mile away.

Two men, one with long blonde hair and the other with a dark, crew cut, stood outside the girl's room, talking with Heidi's father. The men were speaking quietly to each other, the blonde one jotting down some notes onto a form he held in his hand.

It looked like a statement.

Not wanting to intrude, Petra double-checked Heidi's folder to make sure that she wasn't due for another dose of medication for another half an hour still. The day nurse had left several notes for the night nurse, describing the girl's progress. While she was still in a considerable amount of pain, her vitals had remained stable throughout the day. Now, the only thing they needed to worry about was the possibility of infection setting in at the sight of her would.

Petra made a mental note to remain extremely vigilant when it came to caring for the girl’s wound. The faster she healed, the faster she would be out of the ward.

'...and the faster her father could get the hell off of my floor.' Petra thought to herself, jotting down a few quick notes of her own, before closing the file and picking up the next.

By the time Petra arrived at Heidi's room, the MP's were long gone and the girl was sleeping peacefully in bed.

Upon entering the room with a glass of cherry juice already in hand, Petra braced herself for a rude comment or a deadly stare - but was surprised when she found that she was not on the receiving end of one.

Mr. Ackerman was still dressed in the same clothes he had worn the day before, his hair styled still to perfection, yet a bit greasier from the lack of a good washing. While his gaze was cold as ever as it moved from his daughter's slumbering form to the nurse as she entered the room, it wasn't nearly as intimidating as it had been before.

The man just looked tired.

Still, he stood by the lone window in the room, leaning against the ledge as if it was the only thing keeping him on his feet. Petra spared a glance towards the only chair in the room by Heidi's bedside and noticed that the pillow and blanket that she had left for him last night were still neatly folded and waiting to be used.

He had never slept. He had never even sat.

Petra's mouth popped open in surprise as she stood in the doorway, glass in hand. She wanted to say something but found that every time she tried to get the words out, they got stuck in her throat.

"Don't wake her up." It was the first words she had heard out of his mouth since entering, his tone as deep as it had been the day before, but weaker from lack of rest. He almost didn't look so much annoyed, as he did exasperated. "She's had a long few hours and was just now able to fall asleep."

At his request, Petra felt conflicted.

"It's time for her medicine." The woman insisted, talking quietly as she approached the girl's bedside, placing the glass of cherry red liquid onto the side table. "I'm worried that if she doesn't take it soon, she may wake up in pain."

The man considered her words, staring at her for a few moments before letting his gaze drop to the sleeping five-year-old in the hospital bed. The fact that he was even chewing over her statement had Petra reeling. While the day before, he had been questioning her methods - now he was actually taking her seriously.

The man sighed, pushing himself off from the wall he was leaning against.

“Could you wait twenty minutes?”

The words were spoken quietly, yet for the first time, they held no underlying rudeness. He seemed genuine in his request, his gray eyes boring into her's as he waited for an answer.

Petra was beginning to feel as though she was experiencing whiplash on the receiving end of his mood swings.

It was only in that moment, when he was making such direct eye contact with her, that she began to notice the slight shake of his stature, almost as though a short burst of chills were beginning to overcome his body. The sight was so strange, that Petra felt herself nodding at the man's request before she had even had a chance to think it over.

"Uh - " The young woman stuttered, trying desperately to find her voice. "I guess that would be alright?"

The man gave her a short nod of appreciation, his lips pressed in a thin line as he seemed to consider whether to say something else. Instead of asking any more questions though, he breezed past the young nurse and began to make his way to the door - something that caught Petra's attention, considering he had not left his daughter's room the entire time during her shift before.

"Wait!" She called out in surprise, though the volume of her voice surprised her. The man gave her a sharp look as he glanced over at the still slumbering child. After watching the rise and fall of her chest for a few long moments - he switched his gaze back to her, annoyance evident in the twist of his features.

And just like that, the same man from the day before was back.

"What?" He asked, as though it wasn't unusual for him to leave his daughter's room. In most cases, it wouldn't be strange for her patient's parents to leave their child unattended while they went to find some food or refreshments in the hospital, but this man had never done that before.

‘Maybe that’s why he wants her to stay asleep…’ Petra thought to herself, as she tried to think of what else she could say without sounding too nosy.

“Where are you going?”

Nice one, Ral.

The man scoffed, as though he believed her question didn't deserve an answer. Without responding, he turned back to the door and placed his shaking hand on the knob.

But Petra was surprised when, before leaving the room, he quietly called back over his shoulder.

“Would you mind keeping an eye on her for me, real quick? There’s something I need to do.”

Not waiting for her answer, the man was out the door before Petra's brain could even catch up to what he had been asking. However, when she realized what he had done, she found herself seething.

What did she look like - a babysitter?! She had other patients to be taking care of!

Though she knew that she had no real obligation to stay in Heidi’s room, there was something that had her sitting in the chair beside the bed, scooting the pillow and blankets out of the way to make herself more comfortable. She didn’t know what it was that kept her rooted in that spot, but she truly felt like she couldn’t leave the little girl.

A vision of the MP's quickly flashed through her mind.

It was that feeling of guilt that had her planted in the chair for the next twenty minutes - even though she had other patients to check on.

‘Oh well,’ Petra picked a piece of lint off the top sheet of the bed, watching the steady rise and fall of Heidi’s small chest. ‘What are they gonna do? Fire me?’

Just as Petra was fantasizing about all the things she could do if her boss truly did fire her - Mr. Ackerman returned to the room.

The first thing the young ginger noticed about the man was that he held a large white bag in his hand - one that seemed to be from the hospital's gift shop. The second thing she noticed was that he held a mug of what looked like some kind of tea in his other hand.

The third thing she noticed was that he reeked of smoke. With this knowledge, Petra could feel her face heat up in annoyance.

Now the shaking of his body and hands made sense - he had been going through withdrawals.

“You left me in here to tend to your daughter while you went and had a smoke?” The nurse stood from her spot in the chair, quietly chastising the man as he walked through the door. “Don’t you know those things can kill you?”

After having gotten his fix of nicotine, the man was back to his usual pleasant self. Before Petra could even think of what else to say, his eyes flashed towards her in contempt.

"Don't you know how to mind your own business?"

At such a rude response, Petra threw caution to the wind, sick of the man's attitude. Not caring whether Heidi woke up at this point or not, she stormed over to the dark-haired man, pointing a single finger into his chest. At least the man had the nerve to look surprised.

“Listen here - “ Petra dug her finger further into his hard chest, the fabric of his white shirt wrinkling as she tapped him once more for good measure. “Your daughter is currently my patient, Mr. Ackerman. So yes, your health is a part of my business now. What I’d like to know is how you think you're going to take care of your child on nothing but cigarettes and tea? Did you even eat while you were gone?”

The man raised a brow at her tirade, still shocked at the fact that the small redhead had had the nerve to speak to him like that. He definitely wasn’t used to it.

"Well, did you?" She asked again, demanding an answer, sticking him in the chest with a finely manicured finger once more.

What the man did next, nearly floored the poor girl for what felt like the millionth time in the past twenty-four hours. He smirked.

That damn infuriating smirk again!

Before she could repeat her question, the Survey Corps member grabbed the finger that was currently poking his chest, pushing her hand down while the infuriating smirk on his face only grew bigger.

"No," He said simply, as though he had not a care in the world. Petra could tell by the challenge in his eyes that he was eagerly waiting to see how she would respond.

Almost as though it was a game to him. Well, Petra was perfectly ready to play.

Pulling her hand out of his hold, the woman crossed her arms over her chest, looking up at him as he continued to smirk down at her. While he had shaken her the day before, she had become familiar enough with him to know that he only seemed to respond positively to her when she was actively challenging him.

What was he - a masochist?

“Lucky for you I have a wide array of crackers to offer you.” Petra smiled sweetly, watching as the man’s brows rose at the sound of her tone. “What would your flavor of choice be - cheese or peanut butter?”

“Neither, I - ,”

“Oh!” She cut him off, tapping him once again on the chest, knowing that this seemed to annoy him greatly just a few moments ago. “I’m sorry but ‘neither’ doesn’t seem to be a flavor - try again!”

The man's brows rose even higher at her continued teasing. "What if I'm allergic to peanut butter and cheese?"

Petra was anticipating such an answer, her arms once again crossing over her chest as she puffed it out with pride, knowing that this was an argument she had already won. "Then I guess I get to pick your poison."

They stared at each other in silence, neither intending to back down. Finally, the older Ackerman broke.

The man chuckled. Not a pity chuckle, either - but a real, amused chuckle. Though it may have been quiet, Petra couldn't conceal the pride that swelled up in her chest at having broken through at least one of the man's self-made barriers.

They didn't call her the best nurse for nothing!

"Alright, alright…" He finally conceded, no longer chuckling - but still keeping that mysterious smirk on his face. "I'll eat something, but no crackers."

Petra’s brow rose at this. “Why not? Isn’t that the most universal snack there is?”

“They’re too messy.”

The woman had to stop herself from giggling at the look of annoyance that passed over the man’s face. It seemed they at least had one thing in common - Petra absolutely hated a mess.

“An apple?”

The man shrugged noncommittally. Petra took this as confirmation that the fruit would do.

“Daddy?”

The feeble call from the bed had both of the adults turning, their eyes falling on the once slumbering girl who still lay propped up against the pillows. Though she had only said one word, Petra could tell from the look on her face that she had been woken from her sleep by some kind of pain.

The girl’s father hummed in response, acknowledging that he had heard her. Not wasting a moment and with a new pep in his step from his smoke break, the Survey Corps member approached his daughter’s bedside, placing his tea down by the glass of juice that still lay on the bedside table.

It was when the girl glanced over at the juice and then at the door, that she noticed the short nurse who was also now standing in her room. Petra liked to imagine that the girl’s face had lit up a bit at the sight of her, but she wasn’t foolish enough to think that it was anything other than the prospect of juice that had her glowing.

Heidi, much like her father though, surprised her.

"Hi, Miss Petra," The girl said in that sweet tone of her, her words still shy, but definitely more confident than from the night before. "Is it time for my medicine?"

Petra smiled in encouragement, joining the girl’s father at the side of her bed. “Yes, it is. Are you in any pain?”

Once again, the child looked up at her father - but, instead of waiting for some kind of input from him, she turned back to the nurse and answered for herself.

“Just a little.”

While her answer was not nearly as descriptive as Petra would have liked, the woman knew that this was probably the best she was going to get out of the child. With a tough-as-nails father by her side, the little girl was never going to give a true indication of how she was truly feeling. To do so would be to admit defeat in her eyes.

It was sad to an extent, but having grown up with a single dad herself - something she was assuming based on the fact that Petra had yet to see a mother stop by for a visit to Heidi's room - she knew how important it was to show them that their little girls were strong enough to handle themselves.

Petra’s respect for the precocious five-year-old just continued to grow as she spent more time with her.

After the nurse had given the girl her pills and had made sure that they went down easily, she reviewed Heidi’s vitals one more time before promising to return in the next hour.

Before she could make it out the door though, she turned to face the girl’s father one last time.

“I’ll be bringing you an apple, Mr. Ackerman,” She called back to him, watching as his gaze drifted upwards to meet her’s. “- and I’ll be expecting you to eat it.”

“Levi.”

The response was so quick and unexpected that it had Petra quieting immediately. Seeing the look of confusion written across her face, one side of the man's mouth quirked up in a half-smile. He sighed, shaking his head before closing his eyes in exasperation.

When he opened them again, there was a softer look there than there had been before.

“My name’s Levi. Stop it with that Mr. Ackerman stuff.”

Even Heidi chuckled from her place in the bed at the sound of such a formal name for her father. Once Petra had collected her wits, she gave a short nod in response.

"Levi, then."

Without wasting another second, the woman turned from the room - shutting the door close with more force than what she had intended to.

Her face was burning as she walked away from the room - and for the first time since she had been assigned to the patient in Room 325 - it wasn't from shame.

It was nearly an hour and a half later that she was finally able to return to Heidi’s room to check on the girl. With an apple in hand, the woman pushed open the door quietly, just in case the little girl had happened to fall back asleep.

The scene that lay before her, had her pausing in the open doorway in wonder.

Levi Ackerman was sitting. Not only was he sitting, but he was reading - and from a children’s book, nonetheless!

The white bag from earlier lay at his feet, the contents of it having been removed. While it had been puffed up quite large only an hour before, it now sat deflated on the cold tile of the hospital floor. Petra couldn't imagine that a few children's books from the gift shop would make a bag look that full, and she was right to assume that.

The reason the bag had looked so full was currently resting in the happy little hands of one Miss Heidi Ackerman in the form of a very large, stuffed teddy bear.

"Then Mr. Owl asked Mr. Bear if he could borrow a few - ," Petra listened to the smooth voice of the man who had nearly made her cry the day before, no rudeness left in his tone as he read to a very captive audience.

"Daddy, why would he ask to borrow something that he could never give back?' Heidi asked from her hospital bed, fully engaged in the story. Whether it was consciously or not, she hugged her bear a little tighter to herself as she turned onto her side to regard her father.

The man gave her a small, patient smile. "It's an expression, Heidi. Mr. Owl is going to eat the carrots, of course - so I'm sure hoping he's not planning on regurgitating them and giving them back to Mr. Bear. Mr. Bear is letting Mr. Owl have something without the guarantee of ever receiving it back or something in return."

“Then it’s not borrowing.”

Her father shrugged, his eyes turning back to the page in front of him. "Not really, I guess."

Before the man could pick up where he'd left off - Heidi cut him off once more.

“Daddy, I don’t think owls actually eat carrots.”

“Are you going to let me finish the story, brat?” The man gazed at her over the top of the book, annoyance creeping into his tone after having been interrupted for the second time. “Or do I need to read from the dictionary in order to please you?”

While Petra had been shocked when he had referred to his daughter as "brat" the night before, she would have to be deaf to not hear the endearment that lay hidden in his tone. He said it so gently - as though it was meant as an affectionate tease more than an insult.

Heidi certainly wasn’t offended by it if her sweet little laugh was any indication of how she was feeling.

“Daddy!” She whined, hugging her bear even tighter. “No dictionary! I want animal stories!”

“Then sit back and enjoy the damn book, instead of overanalyzing everything.”

Heidi’s eyes widened in shock, her small mouth forming an ‘o’ at her father’s choice of words. “Daddy, you swore.”

The man twisted his lips, trying his best to hide his face behind the children's book that he held in his hands.

“I heard you! You’re going to have to put change in the swear jar at home!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Heidi smiled brightly at her father. "Nuh-uh, it's a deal! I'm going to be rich!"

“Heidi,” Levi raised one dark brow towards the girl, his tone darkening with warning as she continued to get louder. “You need to be quiet.”

At her father’s admonishment, the child’s face fell, her bright smile falling swiftly off her features. Petra made a movement to jump in - anything to bring that sweet expression back to the darling girl’s face - but was stopped by the man’s voice chiming in once again.

“ - and besides, you only have two dollars. That’s barely enough to call yourself rich.”

While most children would have balked at Levi's use of blunt humor, Heidi - who must have been used to it by now - began to giggle once more, the bright smile from just moments before, returning to her face. Petra was even surprised to find that the man was wearing one of his own now.

"It's almost enough to buy a chocolate bar." Heidi insisted as if the candy was the most precious thing in the world.

Petra had to clamp her mouth shut to keep from laughing out loud. From her spot in the doorway, the nurse's shoulders trembled in quiet amusement. This little girl was something else - and, from what she had seen over the past few minutes, so was her father.

"Now you see, Miss Ral?" The question had her pausing mid-shake, her amusement slowly fading now that she had been caught. "I told you sweets would be her downfall."

Petra could feel her cheeks heating up. She had just been caught eavesdropping - how unprofessional could she be?

Opening the door all the way, the woman stepped fully into the room, apple still in hand. While Heidi certainly seemed to quiet as the woman entered the room, the smile on her face did not fade.

While she had thought the older Ackerman would look at her in contempt for having the gall to eavesdrop on him, during what she would call a very intimate family moment, he instead looked over at her with a slight quirk in his brow.

“ - and eavesdropping will be yours.”

Without saying another word, the man placed the children’s book on top of the bedside table, where Petra could now see an entire stack had been laid. Next to it, a small cat plush sat, almost as though watching over the mountain of books that now stood beside it. Before the nurse could make any comments in regards to his gift shop purchases, the man stuck out his hand.

Petra just stared at him in confusion.

Levi gave her a less than impressed look. “My apple, Miss Ral?”

If Petra had thought her face had been burning before, it was nothing compared to now.

A few hours passed uneventfully in the pediatric ward. That was one thing Petra had always enjoyed about the night shift - there was a certain calm in the air that seemed to hang over the 3rd floor of the hospital. A child would cry out in pain, only to be shushed a few moments later by comfort or medicine - or a buzzer would go off, signaling that someone needed assistance.

Other than that, the ward pretty much always stayed quiet in the late night to early morning hours of the day and Room 325 was no exception to this.

Heidi was snoozing peacefully as Petra made her rounds once again to check on the girl. After having received her last dose of medication until morning, the girl had lost her battle against sleep. She had fought valiantly - wanting to stay up and continue listening to the stories being told by her father - but after several hours and retellings of the same stories over and over, she was finally out for the night.

While Petra hated to disturb the girl's sleep, it was pertinent that she clean her wound every few hours to keep the infection from setting in. Though the girl was already taking oral antibiotics, the nurse knew that it was better to be safe than sorry when it came to wounds.

In an attempt to be as stealthy as possible, Petra quietly entered the dimly lit room of Heidi Ackerman, careful not to make any noise as she closed the door behind her.

Giving her eyes time to adjust to the lack of lighting in the room, Petra squinted while looking over at the chair.

There sat Levi, bloody clothes and all, by his daughter's bed and still wide awake despite his obvious exhaustion. Petra had given up hours ago on telling him to get some sleep, learning quickly that even without an injured child the man was a terrible insomniac.

However, she couldn't help but be concerned when it came to the man's state of mind. How on earth was he supposed to tend to his child when he wasn't willing to rest himself?

"Oi, stop lurking in the doorway." A ragged voice called from the chair, his eyes never drifting from Heidi's face. Even without looking, he seemed to just know she was there. it must have been a Survey Corps thing. “She’s out for the night, so there’s no need to sneak around as if the smallest noise is going to wake her up.”

Petra blushed at the call-out, stepping fully into the dim light of the room, her expression apologetic. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to change her bandages."

The man grunted in acknowledgment, shrugging his shoulders. "It can't be helped. Several more hours of reading from 'Mr. Owl's Adventures' sounds like a decent penance to me."

Though Petra found herself chuckling at the man's dry wit, she couldn't help but notice the strain in his voice that spoke of some underlying guilt she was not privy to. Trying to lighten the mood, she moved closer to Heidi's bedside, bandages already in hand and a soft smile on her features.

"Count yourself lucky," The woman bristled, reaching into her pocket for a disinfectant wipe. "You could be changing dirty bandages and bedpans for the rest of the night. I think I would choose Mr. Owl over that, any day."

While she hadn't expected the man to laugh at her remark, she wasn't expecting him to sober so quickly either.

He watched as she placed the packet of disinfectant wipes down on the table, her hands moving to the bandages to ready them for placement. The night before, she had found his gaze unnerving - now, however, he seemed to be pondering her actions more than looking for something that she was doing wrong.

“Could you show me how to change her bandages?”

Petra couldn't hide the shock that flooded her features at the quiet request. The words were spoken so softly that she questioned whether she had even heard them.

“Huh?” She heard herself ask, pausing mid-action.

Levi's face held its usual passive expression - but, when Petra looked closely, she could see the skin of his neck turning red underneath the hairs of his undercut.

The man was blushing.

Petra had little time to be amazed before he was speaking again.

"I tried watching you last night and when the nurse did it this morning," The man confessed, his voice tight as though he felt ashamed for admitting it. "But I want to make sure I know how to do it right since I'm the one who's going to be doing it at home."

Suddenly, his attentiveness to her actions during her prior shift made a lot more sense.

While she had thought he had been watching her closely to see if she made any mistakes while changing Heidi's bandages, he was really just trying to learn how to do it himself. So the reason he must have been so grouchy when she had made that one mistake, was because he was frustrated not only with her but with himself for having to seek out someone's help.

Man, she had misjudged him terribly in that moment.

Knowing that it was hard for the man to admit he needed guidance - Petra gave him a small but encouraging smile.

"I can show you," The woman gestured for him to come closer to the bed so that he could see better. "This is the perfect time, actually since I'm going to be doing it really slow, so that we don't wake her."

Petra tried to calm the furious beating of her heart as the man rose from his chair and made his way over to her side. This was the closest she had ever been to him, even closer than when she had gotten up in his face earlier. From this vantage point, she could see the dark stubble that now lined his cheeks and the puffy bags that seemed to permanently reside under his eyes.

The man was starting to look a bit ragged. However, no amount of exhaustion could dull the look of determination in his eyes.

Petra took her time, carefully peeling back the bandages that sat across Heidi's abdomen. Levi watched closely as she worked her finger under the sticky material at a particularly irritated patch of skin. While Heidi mumbled a few incoherent words in her sleep and turned her head to the side in agitation, she remained unconscious as Petra continued to work on her wound.

The nurse quietly explained proper wound care, as she cleaned around the stitches that lay on the girl's stomach. Levi nodded in acknowledgment to each of her points, his steely gaze never leaving her hands.

The whole process took about ten minutes, much longer than usual, but Petra felt like it had taken a hundred years.

The man was just so close and it was distracting.

Despite being flustered by his proximity and rapt attention, Petra was able to successfully clean and re-bandage the wound.

She ripped the end of the last piece of tape needed for the girl's skin, gently patting it down with soft pressing motions. "So, that's all there is to it."

Levi nodded, the wheels in his head turning as he tried to internalize everything he had just seen.

It struck Petra as odd that he needed such guidance from her when his line of work surely included some bumps and nicks over time. Almost as if he could guess her train of thought, the man answered her unspoken question.

"I've had to treat my own wounds before," He admitted quietly, eyes glued to the area of Heidi's stomach where her injury lay. " - but I've never had to treat a child's. I just want to make sure I do it right."

Petra gave him a sympathetic smile, placing the roll of tape back on the table. "It really isn't that much different from dressing your own wounds."

Levi's eyes darkened at her words, his tone shifting. "It is different."

The young woman watched as the man's eyes drifted back up to Heidi's peaceful face, her small pink lips opened in an 'o' as little breaths escaped between them. From a hardened gaze, the Survey Corps member's eyes softened at the sight of his slumbering daughter.

“What happened?”

Petra didn't know what had come over her, but at the man's words and expression, she couldn't help but speak out of curiosity. While the girl's file had said she had been cut by a blade that had been laced with poison, it hadn't said any more than that. She figured that Heidi had been caught up in a crossfire, but she couldn't be too sure.

She wanted to know what had caused her patient so much pain - and she also wanted to know what it was that was causing the girl's father so much guilt.

Petra had not expected much in ways of a response, figuring that the man would tell her to mind her own business. She was surprised when, instead of snapping at her in anger, Levi sighed and crossed his arms over his chest in defeat. She could see his reluctance to share in the rigid way he stood, but could also see in the way he rolled his lips inwards, that there was a part of him that wanted to tell someone what happened.

"They broke into my home when it wasn't there." The man admitted quietly, a quick rush of breath leaving him as he resigned himself to share with Petra the details behind the incident. "Heidi knows not to open the door to strangers, so when they came knocking, she hid - but they knew she was there. They had been watching."

"The Titans?" Petra asked in a whisper. Levi nodded.

The man sighed, his eyes cutting back to his daughter’s face. “One of my men had heard through our line of communication that The Titans were planning on laying siege to my house - however, it had been kept under wraps for as long as possible to keep the plan from getting back to me.”

Levi's face darkened, his thin lips pressing together as his eyes took on a faraway look - like he was being transported back in time.

"Unlucky for them," The man continued, his tone growing terser as time went on. "I found out and was able to intercept the attack."

Petra watched as the man’s focus drew back to the present, his steely gaze never leaving his daughter. “But not before Heidi could get hurt.”

Levi ran a single hand through his hair, the action causing the arm of his jacket to rise and the ‘Wings of Freedom’ tattoo to be exposed.

"There were six of them at the house," Levi admitted, not even pausing when this information called forth a gasp from Petra. "I cut down every single one of them."

At the dark look on his face, the nurse could feel herself gulp in fear. The same intimidating man whom she had encountered the night before during her first shift was suddenly making an appearance once again. His behavior - however, made more sense now. He had been reticent and ready to snap, not just because his daughter had been injured, but because he had just murdered six men.

Petra also realized that the blood that lay splattered across the man’s white shirt was, more than likely, not just Heidi's. While the news had Petra suppressing a shiver, she didn't interrupt him as he continued with his story.

"When I realized the blade had been laced with poison, I rushed Heidi here." He glanced over at her now, his gaze watching her carefully as he analyzed her reaction. "Then a few hours later, we met you."

Petra didn't know what to say - half of her had expected the story to be something like that, but also half of her wishing it hadn't. She was outright conflicted.

"She had been alone?" She heard herself ask through the whooshing in her ears. Her head was spinning from all the new information.

Levi nodded. "I can't afford to send her anywhere. She's always alone."

Though Petra tried to hide her surprise, she couldn't conceal it quick enough for his all-seeing eyes.

"She has no mother." Levi admitted though Petra had deduced as much. "The woman dropped her off on my doorstep years ago without so much as a word - so I'm all she has."

"That's horrible." While it was an understatement, to be sure, it was all Petra could think of in response. At least it was able to draw a dry chuckle from the man.

“I guess you could say that.”

Not knowing how to dispel the tension that currently lay in the air, Petra turned to continue cleaning up the used bandages from the side table, disposing of them in the trash while she continued to think of what to say.

Noticing her unease, Levi sighed. "I didn't tell you all of this to make you feel awkward. You did ask, you know?"

"I don't feel awkward!" Petra insisted although she knew it was a fib. She rolled up the gauze that she had neglected to use while trying to choose her words carefully. "I'm just not sure what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," The man said, walking back around to the other side of the bed. His eyes drifted to the children's books that lay stacked on the side of the bed. "It's the ways things are and the way they will always be. All I can do is ensure that none of my decisions from here on out will infringe on her safety.'

Petra nodded. “I guess you're right.”

The room was quiet as Petra continued to bustle about. She fluffed Heidi's pillows a few more times, before reviewing the young girl's vitals. She didn't know what it was, but despite the tense atmosphere that lay heavy over the room, she really didn't want to leave.

No matter what she wanted though, she knew she had other patients to see.

Before she left, a thought came to her as she reached for the handle on the door. She remembered at the start of her shift that Levi had only taken leave of his daughter's room when Petra was guaranteed to be there and keep watch. The circumstance had Petra pausing.

Was that why he hadn’t bothered to go home and change yet?

Petra could see that the man needed a good shower and a fresh pair of clothes - but, after hearing about what happened, she highly doubted he was willing to leave the hospital while his daughter was still in such a vulnerable state.

She didn’t know what came over her, but suddenly she was speaking.

“I get off in a few hours. Do you want me to sit with Heidi while you go home and change?”

Her offer caused the man to turn his head, his eyes gazing at her warily. “I couldn’t ask you to do that. I know you probably need your rest.”

Petra shook her head. “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t willing.”

"I couldn't -,"

"No offense," Petra finally said, her arms crossing over her chest in an act of defiance. " - but you are starting to look rough.”

This caused one side of the man’s mouth to quirk up. “I’m just now starting to? I thought surely when I walked in covered in blood yesterday that I looked about as rough as I could.”

“Well, then I guess you’ve been proven wrong.”

Levi shook his head. “I’m not leaving. Besides, I have nowhere to go. My home is a crime scene, remember?”

"You can use my apartment." The words had left Petra's mouth before she even had time to think. At the suggestion, she could feel her face heating up, but she continued speaking anyway. "Go at least take a shower - please."

This had the man's brows raising to his hairline.

"You would let a man who just murdered six people take a shower in your home?"

Petra shrugged. “Yeah, I mean as long as you promise not to mess with anything.”

“You’re damned crazy.”

"Yeah, maybe," Petra conceded, but her arms still crossed tightly over her chest. "But it's better than being stinky. I'm going to get a shirt from the lost and found for you to take. My shift is over in three hours, so try to at least get some rest before it's my turn to watch Heidi."

Without waiting for a response, Petra exited the room in a flurry of white fabric and frazzled nerves, missing the smirk that followed her actions as she hurriedly exited through the door.

- True to her word, Petra had returned to Heidi's room after clocking out. The woman handed the older Ackerman a piece of paper with her address, a key, and a plain white t-shirt - before practically pushing him out of the room.

Not allowing any chance of negotiation, Petra slammed the door behind him, fighting the urge to actually lock it.

Now fully awake, Heidi giggled at the sight of the young woman bossing her otherwise intimidating father around. The sound had Petra smiling, too. Though she was tired, she was looking forward to spending a bit of downtime with the girl.

During the hour and a half that Levi was gone, Petra learned many things about Miss Heidi Ackerman.

She was born in late September and couldn't wait for the Summer to be over so that she could finally be six. Her favorite thing to learn about was animals - hence, why her father always bought her stories with animal characters rather than humans. She had named the big teddy bear her father had gotten her, Felix, after a cat character with the same name that existed in one of the storybooks her dad had once read to her.

While it wasn’t new information, Petra was struck once again by how intelligent the little girl was.

Heidi shared with her the process of her daily routine - how she woke up in the morning to find a bowl of cereal already sitting ready for her at the table. Though her father was usually gone by this time, he always left a note telling her what time he would be home and reminded her to never open the door to strangers. After reading the note, she would do a few chores around the house - she loved sweeping - and even had her own little broom that matched her father's so that on the weekends they could clean the floors together.

While Petra imagined such an existence would be a sad one - being all alone in a house all day, especially, at such a young age - Heidi didn't seem particularly bothered by it.

"When Daddy gets home in the afternoon, he always cooks me something yummy for dinner," Heidi's voice held all the wonderment of a child, who was properly spoiled by her father. "Uncle Erwin even sometimes comes over and eats with us. He can toss me up in the air really high! Higher than Daddy!"

Petra found herself chuckling at this. “Oh, really?”

Heidi nodded excitedly, her cheeks flushed from the conversation and probably what was still a bit of residual pain. Despite this, she continued chatting as though she couldn't be bothered.

Petra felt her heart warm as the girl slowly began to open up more and more to her - remembering how quiet she had been during the first time she had attended to her.

It was as though the child that sat before her now was a completely different person from the one before. While she could probably blame some of that on the young girl's injury - a bigger portion of it was just that it probably took the girl time to warm up to people.

‘Much like her father,’ Petra supposed.

By the time Levi returned, both his daughter and the nurse were sat up in the hospital bed, the scene causing him to pause in the doorway.

Petra had sat herself behind Heidi, allowing the girl to lean back on her legs and chest in a reclining position. The nurse’s hands were working through the girl’s hair, her deft fingers twirling the long dark strands into a simple braid.

“I’ve always wanted a braid!” Heidi shared, squeezing her bear close to her chest. “I’m so excited! I hope it looks pretty.”

“Oh, it looks very pretty," Petra insisted, her light, chestnut eyes finally drifting towards the man that stood in the door. Her lips quirked up in a small smirk. "Doesn't it, Mr. Levi?"

Fighting the urge to groan at the use of mister before his name, the man closed the door to the hallway behind him before stepping fully into the room. "Oh yes - very pretty."

At his insistence, Heidi giggled - her little cheeks flushed now from the compliments.

Once the girl was situated back on her pillows - chatting with her bear about all the hairstyles she'd like to try to learn to do in the future - Petra turned to Heidi's dad, giving him a smile of appreciation.

Instead of wearing the t-shirt she had retrieved from him, he was wearing a dark blue one with the hospital logo that they sold in the gift shop. The woman had to smirk when she saw that.

"What are you - a germaphobe?" She couldn't help but ask, remembering the wary look he had had on his face when she had handed the used t-shirt over. Though she couldn't blame him, being very particular about things like that herself, she couldn't hold back a laugh.

Levi shrugged. “Sure, let’s go with that.”

They stood there for a few silent beats, the only sound between them being that of Heidi's quiet voice as she chatted to Felix, the teddy bear. Finally, Levi pulled his hand out of his pocket, her key shining in his hand.

Petra held out her hand to receive it.

"Thank you for your hospitality." The man drawled, placing the object in the middle of her palm, a smirk teasing the corner of his lips. "Your lodgings were adequate enough, I guess."

After having heard from Heidi herself in the past hour of how her dad was a self-proclaimed 'clean freak' - the woman was not surprised at such a comment. In fact, knowing what she did now, it made her quietly chuckle.

“I’m glad.”

Petra called over her shoulder to Heidi that she would be back on the night shift in just a few hours, the girl happily waved at her as the woman made her way to the door. Knowing that she only had one more 12-hour shift for the week, the young nurse moved with a slight bounce in her step.

The realization that she probably only had one more night to spend with Heidi and her father had her pausing though.

Shaking her head, she attempted to rid her mind of the thought. She wasn't one to get attached to her patients and she definitely wouldn't start now.

Still, there was something in her heart that tugged every time she thought of Heidi’s sweet little face. Not only that, but the tug worsened every time she thought of Levi’s.

‘I need some sleep,’ She lamented to herself as she continued her way down the stairs.

Yes, sleep was all she needed.

Upon arriving on the 3rd floor for her fourth shift of the week, but third with Heidi, Petra was surprised to see the one and only, Erwin Smith exiting the room of her favorite patient.

She guessed she shouldn't be surprised by the appearance of the blonde man - given how much Heidi talked about him - however, what did surprise her was the grave expression present on his features. While not one to fear the worst, the furrow between his brows and the thin line of his lips had her heart sinking, just a bit.

After confirming with the day nurse that nothing had changed in Heidi's condition, Petra was able to breathe easier. Apparently, in the last hour, Dr. Shadis had even cleared the girl to return home whenever she pleased - however, both the Commander and Levi had convinced the doctor to extend her hospital stay by one day.

The day nurse said she had no idea what the reasoning was behind it but Petra had a good idea.

‘My home is a crime scene.’ Levi had said earlier in response to her pressures for him to go home and shower. The truth of the matter was, Petra feared that neither Levi nor Heidi had anywhere to go.

With that in mind, she entered the girl's room for her first round of medication with a slight hesitance in her gait.

Whatever nerves she had been feeling though dissipated at the sight of Heidi's joyful face.

"Miss Petra!" The girl exclaimed from her place in bed, arms wrapped around her teddy bear and now a large monkey plushie too. "Look what Uncle Erwin brought me!"

The woman was about to respond when a sort of grumbling coming from the direction of the chair caught her attention. Levi had his chin in his hand, his eyes glaring at the plush kitty that still sat on the bedside table untouched. Petra could see a hint of jealousy in his actions.

Dare she call it - adorable?

Though his mutterings weren't all that caught the woman's attention. The man had a whole new change of clothes on, the hospital t-shirt now stuffed away in the white bag that lay by his feet.

The commander must have brought him an extra pair of clothes.

Realizing that she hadn't ever answered Heidi's cheer, Petra smiled at the child who lay in the hospital bed. "Well isn't that a lovely surprise?"

Heidi nodded excitedly, hugging her plushies closer to her. “I think I’m going to name him Beast.”

"That's a lovely name," The nurse agreed, laughing quietly as she watched the girl's father roll his eyes. Despite the current levity in the atmosphere, the woman knew she wasn't going to be able to keep her mouth shut much longer.

Placing the cup of juice she had brought with her down on the bedside table, she busied herself preparing Heidi’s medication as she thought of how to brooch the topic.

“So, I heard Heidi’s been cleared to return home?”

Levi was silent for a moment, but she soon heard a grunt behind her. “It would appear that way.”

“I heard Dr. Shadis approved her for one more night in our care?”

Levi hummed in response, not saying anything more as the woman continued to arrange the pills. Her hands paused as she got to Heidi’s sleep medication.

“Will you be staying with Commander Erwin?”

At her question, the man remained silent - watching as Petra assisted Heidi with taking her pills. Always a brave patient, the girl barely grimaced as the nasty medication tumbled down her throat. When it was all over, the five-year-old simply laid back on her pillows, picking up right where she left off with her two stuffed animals.

It took Levi so long to respond that Petra figured he wouldn't say anything more on the subject - however, his quiet answer came soon enough, a sort of bitterness in his tone.

"No, we can't," He spat out, a rare show of his old reticence shining through. Petra could tell that it wasn't directed at her, though - it was more so in response to the situation. "Erwin thinks it's a bad idea for us to stay with anyone who's a part of the Survey Corps. If they had my address, who's to say they don't have any others?"

Petra had guessed this was the case by the way Commander Erwin had looked upon leaving the room. It was the look of a man who was used to solving problems, who just couldn't seem to solve this one.

Levi continued, missing the pensive look that settled across Petra's features. "He's trying to find somewhere cheap that we could stay, but at the end of the day, the Corps don't receive much funding. I barely make enough to pay for the place we have now and I'm still going to have to pay for it until my lease is up."

“You don’t think you’ll be able to go back after everything is cleaned up?” Petra asked, the wheels still turning in her head. Levi released a dry chuckle at the suggestion.

"I'm not going to make the brat stay in a home where she was almost killed. I may be a monster, but even I have more compassion than that." He spoke quietly, aware that Heidi was still very much awake and able to hear their conversation.

"There's no one you could reach out to and stay with?"

Levi laughed bitterly, once again. "The only people I know are either a part of the Survey Corps or thugs themselves, my options are pretty slim."

Petra nodded, quietly mulling over his words.

After a few moments, she made the offer she had entered the room willing to make.

“Why don’t you stay with me?”

Levi's brows rose, a look of mild shock commanding his features. Feeling uneasy from his reaction, Petra began to ramble in order to fill the awkward silence.

“I mean -,” She cleared her throat, hating how the words had come out as a mere squeak. “You said my lodgings were adequate, right?”

"Well, yes. But -,"

"I certainly wouldn't mind it - and you wouldn't have to pay me rent or anything! All I would need is maybe a little bit of money for groceries since I barely have any - and - uh - and I'm barely home anyway since I work so much, so it would probably be just like living alone!" The words left Petra in a rush, her brain working faster than her mouth as she tried to convince him that this option wouldn't be so bad. "I'm a pretty clean person, so you wouldn't have to worry about -,"

“Could you shut your damn mouth for a second?!”

The low growl of his voice had Petra pausing mid-ramble, her mouth hanging open as the man in the chair cleared his throat, in an attempt to get emotions back under control.

When he spoke again, his tone was even, incredulity evident in his words. "You really expect me to accept such charity?"

Petra closed her mouth, shrugging meekly. “I mean, do you have any other options?”

"Yeah, the street." The nurse found herself rolling her eyes at his words.

"What happened to not allowing any danger to fall upon your daughter again?" Petra asked, remembering their conversation from before. While the man's eyes flashed in anger at her implication, the woman didn't stop there. "Do you really think the safest place for your daughter currently is on the streets?”

The man was silent again.

“I can’t pay you.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“I hate charity.”

"This isn't charity." Petra insisted, meeting his steely gaze with one of her own. "I'm honestly being selfish. I don't think I could sleep at night knowing that the two of you ended up on the streets when I could have helped.'

“Why would you do that for people you barely know?”

"I don't know," Petra answered, honestly - her eyes drifting to where Heidi lay still unaware of the serious conversation taking place next to her. "But something inside of me is telling me that it's the right thing to do."

Levi stared at her, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"So you would offer up your home to two strangers just because your heart is telling you to?”

While his comment was snide, Petra refused to back down. "And you would offer up your life to a cause that will most likely get you killed in the end? It seems like neither of us is very responsible when it comes to where our hearts lie."

The man couldn’t argue with that.

The room descended into a suffocating silence for a few moments, before Levi spoke again.

"What about Heidi?" He asked. "She stays home alone all day. Are you okay with a child residing by themselves in your apartment?"

"Not really," Petra admitted, though she had already thought about this. "But my friend who lives down the hall runs a daycare out of her home. I'm sure if I explained the circumstances, she would be willing to make an exception and let Heidi stay with her when you or I can't be at home."

Levi sighed, realizing she had thought this out a lot more than he had expected. “You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?”

“Nope.” Petra smiled brightly, knowing that he was close to admitting defeat.

The man looked once more towards his daughter, who was now rubbing her tired eyes as she tried to win the battle against sleep.

“Fine.” He begrudgingly agreed, refusing to make eye contact with the now ecstatic ginger.

"Perfect!" The woman nearly exclaimed with glee - however, she kept her reaction quiet, aware of the presence of Heidi who was almost in the throes of sleep. "Leave all the planning to me. Heidi was cleared to stay one more night - so, once I finish my shift, I'll go home and get everything prepared for her discharge tomorrow afternoon."

Levi nodded, still not exactly happy about the situation.

"Don't think you're going to be able to stand around and mope, either," Petra warned, pulling the blanket up higher on Heidi's chest, the girl finally losing the battle against her eyelids. "I'm doing this because I want to, so I won't have you feeling guilty.

Levi shook his head, a smirk appearing on his features. "You're crazy."

"Maybe," Petra shrugged.

After picking up the empty glass of juice from the girl's bedside, Petra decided to take her leave, ready to attend to her other patients.

Before leaving the room, she turned back towards Levi, still sat in the chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

"We're going to figure this out," Petra assured him as she exited the room, smiling as he turned his face towards her - a look of apprehension on his features. "You, me, and Heidi - it'll work, I promise."

Though his answering smirk was tired, Petra could see that maybe - just maybe - he was starting to believe her.

#levi ackerman #petra ral #rivetra #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #fanfiction #my fanfiction #rivetra au

32 notes · View notes

ka-za-ri · 4 years

Text

Personal Assistant Pt. 7 (Finale)

Part 1: here Part 2: here Part 3: here Part 4: here Part 5: here Part 6: here Crossposted to Ao3: here

Wow, I’m surprised y’all are here. Really, I’m humbled and honored for all the followers and all the support you’ve given me in this whirlwind of a writing marathon. Please enjoy the last course of this smut fest and lemme know how y’all are feelin’ Taglist at the end.

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader Wordcount: 8,500 ish Genre: Delicious smut Tags: Multiple Orgasms, cunnilingus, aphrodisiacs, demon sex Summary: You get to experience some intimate times with Lucifer as a year with him winds to a close.

Bonus

After your business trip, you were mandated to work from home for at least a week. Lucifer knew the extent of what you went through and bed rest was absolutely necessary to ensure you would be able to come back to work in top form. Even after a weekend of basically being bedridden right after the session, the soreness between your legs persisted as a constant reminder of just how thoroughly you had been used. So, when you received the text from him late Sunday night to work from home, you couldn’t be any more relieved. Your legs had gotten some strength back into them; but you still couldn’t freely move around without experiencing discomfort and limping.

With the holidays looming so closely, Lucifer was rather ashamed that he couldn’t give you proper vacation time off to recover. At the very least, he knew you were safe from prying eyes while you stayed at home and remoted in on your computer. It was strange though, not seeing you sitting at your desk, your back turned to him while you were entering data. He oddly missed turning around and seeing you filing away the monthly reports or retrieving files for a meeting. The office felt empty for the first time in a long time.

Caring for humans was something foreign and unfamiliar to him. But, with you, it felt like the proper thing to do.

He reasoned that he was simply doing his due diligence to visit your abode with physical paperwork that needed to be reviewed. It also seemed to be a natural thing for him to buy you some food; surely you were tired of cooking for yourself and your food supplies were dwindling from being unable to get to the grocery store. It didn’t cross his mind that food delivery was an option until he was mere meters away from your front door, one hand holding a heavy bag full of takeout and a thick pile of reports in his arm. Regardless of his oversight, it was too late to turn back now.

You had expected Lucifer to come over, drop off some papers to go over and leave you to your own devices. You had already shown to him that you could still complete the most of your usual workload in a timely manner, even if you weren't at the office with him. So, when he invited himself into your abode, stepping past you as soon as you opened the door to set down the food and papers he brought, you were taken aback to say the least. After all, Lucifer was a busy man and he had much better things to do than to get comfortable in the recliner that sat in your living room once his shoes and coat were off of him.

“It’s gotten a bit nippy out this week. Are you sure you’re running the heat here? It’s absolutely frigid.” He commented, loosening his tie and settling into the seat he had claimed as his own. You stared dumbly at your boss who had just so casually stepped into your home as if he lived there with you and was meant to unwind right in your living room. It had to be a dream, you had to be hallucinating. Yet, no matter how many times you blinked or rubbed your eyes, Lucifer was right there, in your living room, his tie and the first few buttons of his dress shirt undone.

He looked over at your stunned face, smiling a bit. “What? Am I not allowed to make a visit to my assistant who’s been ‘out sick’ all week?” He wasn’t sure what lines he had crossed, but it felt as if his presence made you uncomfortable. Perhaps he should have given you a little more of an advanced notice before coming over. The silence between the two of you grew palpable. When at the office, he was the epitome of control and composed. Humans were easy to predict in a controlled environment where there was a clear hierarchy. In such a casual setting though, he found himself rather out of place and lost. He had only vaguely ever gotten the idea of how to behave; with how you were reacting though, he was unsure how to proceed.

“Did you eat?” He asked, changing the subject and gesturing over to the food he brought on the counter. If he had been too forward with getting comfortable in your space, he could at least assuage the tension by changing the subject and moving the focus over to food and not to him. It would be the perfect time to reassess his plan of action while you were distracted by eating. “You should have something before it gets cold.”

“I was just about to order some delivery.” You admitted, letting out a nervous laugh. Having Lucifer in such an intimate setting was strange. You could tell he didn’t feel quite as at home as he was fronting and wondered just how you could get him out so he could go back to being his usual self without you around him.

“I hope you don’t mind Greek.” Lucifer visibly relaxed, walking over to the bag of food and started to take out the boxes. “A new place just opened up and the marketing head suggested I try it out.” He opened the containers, revealing some of the typical dishes you expected to see, naming each one and describing them. Some dishes you were familiar with; others you had never seen before and with each description he gave, your mouth watered a little more and your stomach grumbled in hunger.

At the loud gurgle your stomach gave once he opened the last box, Lucifer chuckled, pulling a chair out for you at the small table, now crowded with more takeout than two people could ever eat. “Eat. I know you’re hungry.”

You nodded, at least having the decorum to grab some dishes and silverware before digging into the feast in front of you. The explosion of flavors and textures was a welcome change from the pizza and Chinese takeout you had been living off of for the past week. It was hard to keep your manners in mind when the table was so crammed full of boxes and you were forced to eat with the plate in your lap, hunched over the food like the gremlin that you felt like you were.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Lucifer pick at his own food, ever composed and nonplussed that he wasn’t actually eating in the most ideal circumstances. The quiet that fell between you this time felt much better, the food serving as the perfect buffer between you and him and you could at least feel a little more yourself with proper sustenance in you.

“The year end reports are starting to roll in.” he said once you had adequate time to try everything. Now, you were just going in for seconds of what you liked best, picking at your favorites until your hunger was properly sated. “And marketing has been sending in the proposals of the ads we’ll be running this season. I’d like to go over those with you once you’re done with dinner.”

With the conversation focused on work, it was much easier to forget how awkward it had all been in the beginning when he walked through your door. You nodded, already grabbing the first folder on the stack to start skimming through reports. Ad proposals were much more fun to go over than pages upon pages of analysis. The sooner you could finish the boring stuff, you could look at the more interesting things.

“My work computer is in the room. I can move it out here once we’re done.” you said, flipping a page and sighing when there were even more numbers you needed to double check.

“No need, we’ll just move there.” He said, not realizing the connotations his words had. “You’re on sick leave and you must rest when you can. We’ll just carry on as you have for the past week.”

You felt your body heat up at his words, trying to see if he had any intentions outside of making sure you were as well rested as possible before you returned to work in a few days. You could never read him, unable to tell what his motives were, and all you could do was follow his instructions. Once all the food had been cleaned up and leftovers were stowed in the fridge, you showed him down the short hallway to your room where you had your home office set up in bed.

As you shuffled to your computer, he could tell there was still a bit of a limp in your gait and there was a mixture of pride and shame. On the one hand, he was glad that your body still remembered the amazing experience you shared with him, Diavolo and Barbatos. On the other, he was ashamed that you were pushed to that limit at all. And then, he remembered the reason he broke you at all in the first place.

So he could put you back together just how he wanted.

He let you climb into bed and settle the lap desk in place before handing you the first of the reports you needed to go over. Lucifer himself took a seat in the chair he had dragged over from your vanity to sit next to your bed and look over the projections for the next few months. Normally, he would have kept strict office hours; but with holidays, even he had to put in a few longer nights to keep up with how hectic things got.

The two of you worked in silence. Even if the location was different, the professional atmosphere was the same as it always had been at the office. The only differences were that you sat in a much more comfortable position and you were much closer to Lucifer than you normal. From where you sat, you got a much closer look at your boss while he worked. His brows furrowed slightly in concentration as he parsed out the plans for the upcoming month. His mouth was set in a straight, tight line whenever he crossed anything out and wrote corrections in the margins. He was beautifully efficient in his work, blitzing through several files in the time it took you to go through one.

You heard stray cats mewling from the cold outside at some point, breaking your concentration and you looked at the clock on your dresser. It was much later than you thought it would be, and you still had ad proposals to look through. Sighing and setting the reports to the side to look over during the weekend, you picked up the folders filled with ad storyboards. “Are you going home soon?” You asked, looking up at Lucifer who just finished the last of his work.

“Oh, I was waiting for you to finish so we can go over the ad proposals together. I’d like to hear your opinions on them in real time.” He said. Lucifer shifted from his place in the chair next to your bed to sitting beside you on your bed. You blushed, moving aside so he had ample room and got comfortable.

In this new position, you could feel the warmth of his body right next to yours. It was a distraction on its own, right alongside the familiar smell of his cologne. He handed you the first of the proposals, giving you a few minutes to look through it before asking for your thoughts on it.

What focus you had earlier was completely lost from being so close to Lucifer. It felt like an eternity since the last time you were in the office and having him right beside you, talking business had your mind and body in conflicting positions. While you struggled to pay attention to his words and stared at the papers in front of you, Lucifer smirked, knowing just what kind of effect he was having on you.

“So, do you think we should run it?” He asked nonchalantly leaning closer so that he could have a clear view of the storyboard.

You swallowed, trying to ignore how his voice sounded and how you could feel his breath ghosting across your neck. It was time for work, not time for your body to crave his touch, his kisses, his… everything. Stop. You blinked, turning the pages back and forth before voicing your thoughts. “I think the message of this ad is alright, but the target audience is off. If I saw this, I wouldn’t know what it’s trying to sell until it’s too late and I’m bored with it.”

He nodded, agreeing mostly with your opinion and closed the file after writing down your comments. “Alright, what about this one.” He said, pulling up the next one and letting you go through it.

Your eyes scanned the script and you immediately grimaced at how cheesy the writing was. You instinctively wanted to reject it and move onto the next one. However, your morbid sense of curiosity had you reading further and analyzing everything else in the file. In the end, your gut feeling was correct and you wholeheartedly turned it down from being produced. “Unless you want to lose half of your clients, I’d say bin that one.”

He chuckled, not bothering to write any notes on it, knowing that it wouldn’t go any further. “And what about this one?” he asked, putting another file on top of your lap desk.

You flipped through, engrossed in the storytelling and the script, rather shocked at the proposed budget to shoot an ad like this. You nodded, thinking through the allocated funds for the rest of the year and calculated if it would be feasible to go forward with the project. You crunched a few numbers, actually invested in the proposal and didn’t notice just how close Lucifer had gotten until his hand snuck its way under the sheets covering your legs and stopped at your thigh.

“What do you think?” He asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your thigh and your brain ceased to function for a moment. It felt like an eternity had passed since the last time he did anything like this to you. You looked over to him and smiled, trying to go back to the subject at hand, though your brain refused to process what he was asking you.

“It’s nice…” You finally managed to say.

“Is that all?” He asked, moving his hand further up and brushing his fingers against the apex of your thighs. “You seemed to be so interested in it, but it’s just ‘fine’?”

You cleared your throat, hoping it would reset your thoughts; but your brain was stuck in a constant feedback loop that refused to get over what Lucifer was doing to you. “It… it’s got good parts.”

Lucifer smirked, nodding at your answer and continuing his questions as if his hands weren’t teasing you. “Tell me more.” He encouraged, slipping his hand past the waistband of your shorts to rub your labia. “I’m interested in your thoughts.”

“I uh.. W-well.” You stuttered, swallowing hard and looking at him pleadingly. You were still sore but the way he was so soft with his touches did things to your libido and your heart. “Well, it fits the mood for the season…” You started, touching on the most basic things to get your mind in the right state.

“Yes, I did tell you these were proposals for the holiday season. It’s obvious it would fit the mood.” His lips brushed against the shell of your ear and his teeth nipped at your earlobe. “Come on now, your analysis for all the others was so thorough, what happened?” he drawled, smiling wickedly, knowing exactly what was making your brain stutter. His fingers parted your lips in turn making you unconsciously spread your legs for him to get easier access.

You bit your lip, using the pain to ground your focus to the task at hand. “Well, the year has been rather rough financially for a lot of people.” You said through gritted teeth. “Showing how they’re able to… ah--” Whatever you were about to say flew right out of your mind when his finger brushed against your clit. You gasped, your whole nether region was still so sore from the last time, but your body was quickly craving more; and the only way to get that was to work. “We’re able to show people that they can… they can afford to celebrate on a budget… Ah… Lucifer…” you whined, rolling your hips up and gasping at how stiff all your muscles were. The sudden jolt of pain keeping you from reacting the way you wanted to.

He hushed you, kissing your jaw and teased your nether lips further with his fingers, running them up and down your slit which was quickly becoming wet from his ministrations. You whimpered, hating how you were being forced to sit still due to your own body’s limits.

“Yes, I’m listening still.” He replied nonchalantly, trailing his kisses down your neck and nipping the skin there with his teeth. “I’m concerned about the budget they’ve set for this ad… your thoughts on that?”

You gulped, amazed that he was still asking questions about the damn ad as if his fingers weren’t coated with your essence at that very moment. You took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself but not doing a very good job at it. “We-well… initial calculations say that it’s not something that can be done right no--- ahh…” You gasped in pleasure when you felt firm pressure on your clit, his finger rubbed circles around it and made you see stars. “Right now… b-but if we reallocate funds from the IT department that submitted their final budget for the year and th...they have a surplus, we can manage….”

“Oh? That’s very good news then…” Lucifer smiled, loving the way you struggled to keep yourself composed while he unraveled you bit by bit with his fingers. Tentatively, he probed your entrance, wondering how well you had healed over the week. When you yelped in pain, instinctively closing your legs against that touch, he stopped immediately. “This was my favorite out of all the ones submitted, I’m glad that you approve of it as well.”

Lucifer went back to teasing your folds, making you forget about the pain and put your body back into the relaxed, aroused state it had been in before. Now that he knew your limits, he was free to skirt them right at the edge, teasing you until you squirmed with pleasure. “I’ll let Marketing know the good news over the weekend so they can start the project as soon as possible.”

“I’m sure they’ll be very happy about that.”

“Indeed they will be. Final thing, I just need you to sign off on these reports and I’ll be on my way home.” He said before dropping a sizable stack of papers in front of you. “I need them right away so I can submit them over the weekend and get underwriting to process them first thing next week.” He explained. His touches slowed to a halt and you felt the fog of pleasure lift a little. Now though, you ached for his continued caresses and you whined loudly when he pulled his hand out from under the sheets.

“Do as you’re told and you’ll be rewarded accordingly.” He stated firmly, all the while making the most lewd show of licking his fingers coated in your slick.

Never in your life had you started reading boring documents so quickly. You were skimming words, processing them, but just barely, all to get to what you were promised. Even if your body ached and screamed in protest, what Lucifer had teased you with was too tantalizing to pass up.

He smiled, planting a soft kiss at your temple before leaving your side. You startled, looking up at him with pleading eyes, wondering if he was leaving for the night. “I’ll be right back…” He reassured you with a self satisfied smirk.

You wondered what he meant by those words for a brief moment before his actions did all the explaining as he ducked his head under the sheets and nestled himself between your legs. You swallowed, parting your legs for him after he slid your shorts and panties off. You could feel his warm breath on your inner thighs, traveling higher and higher until the tip of his nose brushed against your pussy and you whined softly at the contact.

There was still an important task to be done and you had to see it through. All the while Lucifer happily lapped at your core. His hands firmly at your thighs to keep your legs parted for him. His tongue traced your slit slowly and you caught your breath with each pass he took. The words on the pages in front of you had no meaning, but you kept reading them anyway.

The lewd sounds of him licking and sucking your folds were muffled under the sheets, yet they were still loud enough to be the only sounds your ears picked up on. Your breathing came out in stuttered breaths as you turned the last page in a report and mindlessly signed your name. Closing the file and moving on to the next one, you felt Lucifer press the flat of his tongue all along your pussy, spreading your labia and just brushing past your abused hole. At that, you moaned loudly, your hips jerking at the contact and sending pain shooting across your sore muscles. However, when you felt the tip of his tongue circle your clit, the pain dissipated and all that was left was a delicious soreness which mingled with the pleasure.

It was so hard to focus on your work, his tongue worked you into a frenzy, leaving you shuddering and moaning his name. You came as soon as you finished signing off on the second report. There were three more to go in the stack and you wondered if you could cum once for every one that was left. It would be perfect motivation to keep working.

No matter how many times your body was being pushed to the point of overstimulation, you could never get used to it. The way every nerve in your body seemed to vibrate with every touch and made you twitch in pleasure always felt new; and you couldn’t get enough of that euphoria. You had never been made to work through that state, but it was a test of your willpower now, going through reports while Lucifer’s tongue worked you into orgasm over and over again.

You felt like it took hours to complete reading everything. However, when you glanced up at the clock, barely an hour had passed and you were a quivering mess in your own bed, your boss between your legs, lazily licking your essence off your thighs as you came one last time, signing the last report off. “I… All the reports are done…”

You hated how cold you felt when he unburrowed himself from under your sheets. You could see your essence glistening on his lips and his chin, his eyes glowing that deep red color that made your heart skip a beat. “Very good job.” He praised, picking everything up and gathering it into his arms. He kissed the top of your head, making you feel dizzy from his praise and the number of times you came from just having his mouth attached to your pussy for an hour. “I’ll see you on Monday.” He said, preparing to leave.

A small part of you was heartbroken he didn’t want to stay. “Yeah… I’ll see you Monday…” You said weakly, smiling wistfully at his retreating form.

A year to a human was no insignificant amount of time. As an immortal, this was the hardest concept for Lucifer to grasp. Yet, after having you around for a year, it felt natural for him to celebrate the time he had spent with you.

You expected work to be piled up when you got back to the office. However, with your absence and also the general hectic nature of the holidays approaching, you were swamped with work. Staying late to catch up and working yourself into an exhausted heap, there were nights where you simply fell asleep on one of the couches in the lounge area so you didn’t have to worry about losing time with your commute.

Even if Lucifer wanted you to slow down, the corporate world and human greed made it impossible. You weren’t the only one who worked to the bone. Even he had to pick up a fair amount of extra work to ensure the year ended smoothly. The last three months that year were a blur, you barely remembered who you talked to or what you did. All that mattered was making sure the company ran as smooth as possible.

So when the worst of it was all over and the department parties began, it felt as if the whole building got to sigh in relief now that the storm had passed. You were invited to a fair number of new year celebrations, both you and Lucifer’s schedules were filled with more parties than meetings. Seeing all the employees under his wing celebrate another successful year with him warmed your heart. It was a rare opportunity to see him interact with others and seeing him in such a joyous setting made your heart swell with pride.

With the last of the company parties out of the way, you were finally able to release the sigh of relief you had been holding for months. As soon as you returned to the office, it was as if a weight had been lifted and you were free to at least pretend the workload would lessen as the year rolled over. You were about to start packing your things up when you noticed a parcel on your desk. Curious, you opened it and it revealed a beautiful sparking black and red gown. You looked back at Lucifer who was leaning against his desk, watching you for your reaction. “You didn’t think I’d plan a celebration for the two of us now, did you?” He sauntered over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “We count as our own department, right?”

“Of course… How could I forget.” You laughed, running your hand across the delicate fabric, marveling at how it shifted in the light.

“Go on, get dressed, I’ll get the rest of the preparations ready.”

You couldn’t have run into the bathroom any faster. Your legs quivered a little in excitement and you nearly tripped out of your work clothes before shimmying into the black and red number you had been gifted. You were surprised at how well it fit you. Like a glove, it hugged your every curve in the right way to accentuate it. The fabric shimmered with every movement, making it look like you were walking through smoke. It felt odd to be in such a lavish dress and have nothing else to match it.

You ran your fingers through your hair, rearranging it in a way you thought framed your face a little better to accentuate the dress. You wanted to touch up your makeup, but had neglected to bring any with you in your rush to get changed. You would have to make do with what you had. Turning this way and that, you took one last look in the mirror and accepted the fact that it was as good as it was going to get with what you had.

Stepping back out into the office space, you gasped at how quickly Lucifer had managed to transform it. There was a clear hint of magic in the air, there was no other way to explain the softly glowing orbs that illuminated the room in a warm light. They floated through the air, suspended by nothing and fueled by whatever magic Lucifer had put into them. A table for two had been set up in the time it took you to get dressed and what looked like a delightful meal awaited you. Even Lucifer had changed his usual black and grey work suit to something with a little more red in it to match you.

Once again, he was waiting for you while leaning on his desk. As soon as he saw you, he picked up a pair of champagne flutes which sat next to him on his desk. He walked over and offered you the drink, a soft smile on his face. “Courtesy of Barbatos.” He explained, gesturing at the plates of food on the table. “He felt bad about his first impressions with you and wanted to make up for it. So, lucky me, I get catering from the best chef I know for this party.”

You giggled slightly, taking a sip of the champagne. “I hope that doesn’t mean that you expect me to cook for you in the future as your assistant. I’ll have you know the extent of my cookery knowledge will be phoning Barbatos up and asking him to deliver something for you.” You joked.

Lucifer let out a genuine laugh, leading you over to the table and helping you get seated. “Oh no, I don’t expect that from you at all. But, I’ll take note of that in case I change my mind later.”

Truth be told, though the food presented was some of the best you had ever eaten, being in close company with Lucifer was even better. For once, conversation didn’t revolve around work, instead, he regaled you with tales of where he came from and all the troubles he had to get Diavolo out of. The chatter and the good food filled your heart and your soul; you didn’t think you would ever get to see this side of Lucifer, but you were eternally grateful for the chance to witness it.

“Ah, the last thing. You can’t end a good meal without dessert.” Lucifer got up and reached for a box on his desk. Coming back, he presented you with an array of chocolate coated strawberries. “Please, help yourself.” he encouraged, turning the box to you. “I have a bit of an allergy to them, so they’re all yours.”

You tentatively took one, feeling rather guilty that Lucifer wouldn’t be able to join you; however, with a little bit of coaxing, your worries were laid to rest and you happily bit into the fruit. Lucifer watched your expression of joy as you indulged in one of your favorite treats. The way you made such happy sounds when enjoying something had him entirely amused. All the while, a small, knowing smile played at his lips. “They’re not going anywhere. You can take your time.” He said when he noticed just how quickly you were devouring them.

In an attempt to pace you, he pulled the box away from your grasp, plucking one of the strawberries from it and offered it to you. He looked at you expectantly, an eyebrow cocked up as he enticed you to lean in and take a bite.

You blushed, flustered that he would be feeding you dessert in this way. There was a distinct intimacy in how he delicately held the fruit out to you with one hand. His other hand cupped below it to catch anything that might fall. You obeyed after a moment of hesitation, leaning forward and taking it into your mouth. Somehow, just from having Lucifer present you dessert in such a way had dessert tasting so much sweeter to you.

You were halfway through the strawberries when you realized something felt off.The room felt warmer, the floating lights pulsed in a way that cast a halo around Lucifer, somehow making him look angelic to you. You thought it was because you were too tired after a whole week of festivities. It must have been past your normal bedtime and your body wanted to rest. At least, that’s what you thought was the case. But when he spoke again and his voice seemed to penetrate your whole body, sending shivers down your spine and pooling right to your core; you knew it had to be something else.

“Shall we dance?” he asked, getting up after he had finished feeding you what was left of the box of sweets. He held his hand out expectantly; with a little bit of magic, soft music filtered through the room and set the mood. While you struggled to comprehend what was happening to your body, you mindlessly followed his directions. All your nerves tingled, from the tips of your fingers to your scalp, everything seemed to vibrate with a heat and a need that built itself out of seemingly nowhere

The moment he placed his hand in your own and wrapped his arm around your waist, things started to click and your whole body heated up further at the realization. Your eyes blow wide open and your lips parted in a perpetual pant as he nonchalantly lead you in a slow dance, circling the empty area of the office to the beat of the soft music. You followed him in a haze, barely noticing your body move, a practical rag doll in his arms as he spun you around and watched your pupils get ever wider and the flush on your cheeks get ever deeper.

You were so hot and bothered in such a short period of time, it was absolutely overwhelming. Your hands shook in his, your mind barely able to comprehend the music as it was singularly focused on his warmth, his smell, his voice, his everything that was so close to you. You couldn’t look up at him, ashamed that with every dance step you shared, your essence flowing so freely from you was being smeared along your thighs and the back of your legs.

He knew what he had done, you could tell with the way the corner of his lip turned up. He was trying so hard to hide that self-satisfied smirk he always had on whenever you were right where he wanted you. You were so wet and ready for something other than the innocent game he was playing; but you knew better than to rush him. So you held onto your slipping control, pretending everything was alright when your body screamed to be used and not teased. That control disintegrated as you could smell your arousal while you dance; you knew there was no way he missed that smell either.

“Is something the matter?” he asked, his voice full of faux concern after the second time you circled the room. “You seem so out of it.”

“It’s just… It’s hot, Lucifer.” You said, clinging onto his lapels and leaning into him. With his arm no longer around your waist, you couldn’t seem to keep yourself upright. You could hear his heart beating as you pressed your face against his chest, steadying yourself. “It’s… I don’t know what happened, I’m just, so hot…” It was a lie, you knew exactly what happened, what those strawberries were laced with, but you couldn’t say it out loud, not when you were so affected by his sneaky little plan.

“Oh dear… Are you coming down with something?” He asked, gently guiding you to sit down where you stood. “Are you feeling ill? Are you hurt?”

Yes, you were hurt, your whole body ached in need and he was playing around like he didn’t have any idea what he had done to you. You whine, pulling the skirt of your dress up, a wave of cool air offering you a bit of relief on your heated body. “I hurt… right here.” You said, spreading your legs apart and giving him a clear view of the wet mess you had become in such a short time. “It’s hot… and I hurt…”

Your lips and throat felt dry, your whole body flushed and heated to a point where you wanted to tear off the fancy dress and just dunk yourself into a vat of ice water. You needed relief that only he could give you. Lucifer’s face of concern changed drastically the moment you revealed yourself to him and that sadistic smile you knew so well spread across his face.

“Oh now, that is a problem…” He murmured, pressing a finger against your soiled panties and rubbing his finger up and down to mold the fabric to your slit. “But… I would hate for you to leave the party so soon.” He drawled, putting on a dramatic pout. “I was so sure you would enjoy your time, is it not to your liking?” He pulled the skirt back down, earning a desperate whine from you; but you didn’t protest. There was a promise of satisfaction in the lilt of his voice and you were willing to go through the ends of the world at that point to get to it.

You crawled into his lap, rubbing your face against his crotch in a futile attempt to get him to the same playing field as you were. But, he was firm, preventing you from getting what you craved and helped you back up on your quivering feet. The music had stopped and the lights dimmed, giving you a sense of security. You leaned against him, tears starting to form as your desire became the only thing you could think about. You wanted him so badly. “What else do you have in mind for tonight?” You asked, your voice shaking and you looked up at him.

“Just some games....” He replied casually, leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on your lips. Just the brief contact along sent a massive wave of arousal through you and you saw stars for a moment. “Mainly, I want to see how long before the special ingredients in those strawberries really kick in.”

Your eyes went wide. If this wasn’t the brunt of the effects coursing through your body, you weren’t sure how much more you could take. There was no way it could get any more intense than this, yet the way he spoke hinted only at a high that you hadn’t felt before. He chuckled, burrowing his head at the crook of your neck, kissing your sensitive, heated skin and you were helpless to stop him. Your whole body spasmed in need as your nerves were caressed and teased. It lost feeling at the tip of your fingers and your arms fell limp to your sids as you were completely swept away from him.

He didn’t need to do anything more than grab one of your breasts, kneading it experimentally before your tender nipples sent enough pleasure signals through your body to have you cumming. Your knees gave out and you sank to the ground, gasping as you rode out the sudden climax. The edge of your vision blurred and your ears rang as you caught your breath. Looking up, you saw Lucifer with that stupid smirk on his face, his eyes glittering and a noticeable bulge growing in his pants. You reached up to nuzzle it, burrow your head against the thing you crave and took in his musk. “Please… I need you…” You begged. “I need you right now…”

Those were the words he had been waiting to hear from you. Just the sound of your pleas were music to his ears and did more for his libido than you could ever imagine. He brought you back up on your feet, kissing you deeply and swallowing all the delightfully lewd moans that came from your throat. His hand laced into your hair at the back of your head kept you right where he wanted as he took the prize he had waited all day for. “Then you shall have me.” He said, licking his lips menacingly once he broke the kiss.

You were ready to sink to your hands and knees and let him use you as he saw fit. However, he brought you out of the office and into the elevator instead. You blinked in confusion until you saw him wave a black card over the scanner at the elevator, requesting for a floor that you never accessed before. It wasn’t until you stepped out that you realized he had brought you to the top most floor to his own abode.

There was no time to admire the great view that the floor to ceiling windows had of the city. You weren’t in the right mind to notice the collection of fine art or the practical furnishings that decorated his abode. All that mattered was the beeline the two of you made to his bedroom. Even if you wanted to take a second to soak in your surroundings, Lucifer gave you no time to do so, nearly throwing you into the massive bed in the room. You let out a little yelp of surprise when you hit the silky sheets; but that was quickly replaced with your need to feel his hands on your skin.

Now that he had you in his own space, in the privacy of his own home; Lucifer had the freedom to act as he wished. The first order of business was to help you out of that slinky number of yours. It had served its purpose and now he was ready to move onto looking at the most beautiful thing he possessed. He chuckled darkly, sliding the straps of the dress of your shoulders, turning you over just long enough to pull the zipper down to reveal your lacy underthings. As soon as the dress fell to the floor, it took no time at all for him to expose the rest of you by quickly removing your panties and bra.

Even if it took mere seconds to divest you of all your clothes, it felt like an eternity to you. The drag of the fabric across your skin made you shiver. His featherlight touches made you moan and when he finally pulled away to witness your nude form, the way he licked his lips made you shiver in anticipation.

Without clothes, the heat of your body was more bearable; however, it did nothing to quell your pussy’s need to be stuffed full with his cock. Spreading yourself wide once again, you beckoned him to take what you knew he wanted. This time, he was more than happy to oblige to your request. His clothes seemed to evaporate off of him; likely a result of some magic, but you didn’t care to discuss the details on how he removed his clothes. What you cared about the feeling of his weight above your own and the fullness you felt whenever he entered you.

Your hips levitated off the bed as soon as the tip of his cock started to tease at your folds. “Please, don’t play with me like this, Sir.” you cried, clutching onto the sheets below you as he made slow passes up and down your slit. He chuckled darkly, pushing you just a little further before he finally, gratefully put the tip of his cock into you.

Just at that, you could feel your inner walls clenching around him at your entrance, wanting to draw him in further into you. With how busy you had been with work and how much time he had given you to recover since being impaled by Diavolo and himself, it had been an eternity and a half since you last felt him fill your needy hole with his dick. A mixture of curses and his name fell from your lips as you hungrily took every inch of him. He was so terrible, taking his time to make the first pass in you; but it was the most fulfilling experience when he was fully seated inside of you. Your body molded itself around him, clinging to him for dear life as you rutted against his hips, begging for stimulation.

He didn’t want to torture you any further, after seeing your sweet face scrunch of up pure pleasure once he fully sank himself into you. Now, what he wanted was for your body to memorize just how good he could make it feel; and that meant fucking you right into his bed. The pace he set was just enough to bring you to the precipice of an orgasm with a few thrusts. “I know you want to cum…” He growled into your ear. “Feel free to do as many times as you want tonight.”

As soon as the permission was given, you spasmed around his cock still thrusting into you. You screamed his name, the sounds of sex and your moans filling the room as he picked up the pace and slammed his hips into you harder as you climaxed. Fucking you while your inner walls fluttered in orgasm never failed to bring him close to the edge and he was losing himself as well to the throes of pleasure.

You counted maybe two or three more orgasms before his own hips stuttered and his pace became erratic, his own release coming soon. You wrapped your legs around him, drawing him closer to you until his own hips stilled and he spilled his seed into you.

The brunt of what was in the strawberries finally hit you and the need that roiled in your blood intensified, making you keen and milk him hungrily. He pulled out of you, watching his cum drip out of your hole before taking a finger and slowly working it back into you. The sex was already mindblowing and your body was telling you that it was getting tired of being so overstimulated; but, it wasn’t enough. You wanted more and you pulled him in for a searing hot kiss full of tongue and teeth. “I want all of you. Give me that demon cock of yours. Fill me.” You demanded in between kisses. “Please, I need it…”

You heard him chuckle darkly before he agreed to your request. There was a fluttering sound and you saw black feathers in your peripheral vision as he shifted into his demon form. You smiled lazily, admiring how beautiful he was illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. You hadn’t seen this side of him since the first time. Even if you knew what to expect the second time around, it was just as awe inspiring as the first. You knew what was to come now and you eagerly awaited his next move.

“Hands and knees.” He growled and you scrambled to follow his orders. Your knees quaked a bit as you got into position. You could feel the bed dip from his weight as he joined you in it, lining the tip of his cock with your dripping cunt. With one smooth motion, he was buried in you right up to the top of his knot. “Yes... “ He hissed, fisting his hand in your hair and pulling you up to be flush up against his chest while he set a brutal pace. “Yes..”

You were in heaven, your body feeling nothing but euphoria as it conformed to every ridge and vein of his cock that worked in and out of you. You came only after a few thrusts, but you knew it was far from over. Lucifer’s thick girth and massive length working in and out of your dripping pussy would push you right to the edge of pure bliss and you couldn’t wait to chase that feeling with him.

His free hand snaked around your waist to rub your clit, sending you keening and again into another orgasm. His sharp fangs raked the soft skin of your neck, leaving welts and marks that would last for days. The pain only added to the experience and you rode out yet another high around his cock.

“All of me.” He growled, slowing his thrusts to start pushing his knot into you. You let out a strangled gasp, feeling the familiar stretch at your entrance. It was blindingly blissful, being penetrated so deeply by his cock and then to be stretched to your limits with his knot. There was no other feeling like it and even without the aphrodisiacs coursing through you, you knew it was the best sex you would ever have. You breathed slowly, feeling every inch of his knot enter you, your eyelids fluttering as you could only imagine what it looked like right now as your pussy engulfed him.

He groaned when the tie was complete, your core accepting every last bit of him and now, his true pleasure began. He pushed you back onto the bed, letting you brace yourself on your elbows while his hands went to your waist to keep you steady. He rutted into you, rocking back and forth and groaning every time he felt your walls clench around him. You could tell he was close and with one last possessive growl, he pushed himself as deeply as he could into you, releasing his load. The warmth of his seed filling you doing its job as it brought you to one last climax before you felt your arms give way and you collapsed from exhaustion.

Lucifer gently maneuvered you to lay on your side so he could join you in the bed with his knot still fully embedded in you. He could still feel his balls twitching, releasing his cum in spurts inside of you as he nestled you into the crook of his arms and protectively wrapped his wings around your form.

“Congratulations on making it through a year here.” He praised, stroking your hair and lulling you into sleep.

“Of course, I expect to be with you for many years to come.”

“That’s exactly what I want to hear.” He chuckled, kissing the top of your head as you dozed off into slumber. “Stay for the night… It’s too late to get you home by now.”

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” You said, clenching yourself around his cock and he chuckled at your response.

“This is very true.” He said, still petting you methodically and watching you fall asleep.

He waited patiently for you to start softly snoring before he allowed himself the privilege of resting as well. His knot was still hard and firmly entrenched in you and it would likely stay that way for a few more hours. He watched your body slowly rise and fall in slumber and listened to you mumble in your sleep while he let himself soak in the soft moment.

“I love you, Lucifer…” You mumbled in your sleep, shifting a little and clinging onto the arm he had thrown across you.

“I know.” He whispered, kissing the top of your head, fully satisfied with the result of a long years’ worth of training. “I love you, too.”

Caring for humans was still a foreign concept to Lucifer; but, he could make an exception for you.

Fin

Taglist: @ptv-hades @bluelipsblueveins-blue @utopiamiroh @vanillaicebaby @taehyungtrasholiviahaneul99 @weebartistinc

#Obey me #obey me fanfiction #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer x oc #obey me smut #wow this took two days to write #almost not sorry #I saw you anon #I just didn't want to spoil what I already had planned a week ago lmfao #enjoy the end of this smut #i hope y'all liked the wild ride #my writing

243 notes · View notes

9worldstales · 3 years

Text

MCU Loki Ep 2 “The Variant” intensive analysis

So, the 2nd “Loki” episode come out and, again, I couldn’t stop myself from talking about it.

Beware about spoilers!

After a brief summary that’s basically made by showing us the most relevant scenes of Episode 1 we’ve the Marvel opening, this time with its usual music… though the Marvel studios logo is still in green and gold.

We start this episode in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 1985, the year of “Back of the future”, only there’s no Martin or Doc or the DeLorean, but just some sort of medieval fair.

Pity.

Anyway Minutemen get on the place and didn’t care at all about how they’re attracting the general attention with their look. We know why, because they think to reset the timeline before leaving so it’s not like their magical apparition might change something.

They believe they’ve detected the Variant so they enter in a tent thinking they can capture them… only to fall straight in a trap, as the Variant was waiting for them, starting a registration as soon as they are where the Variant wants them to be.

Yeah, the registration was meant to be for the show that should have taken place there but the Minutemen are smart enough to get it’s a trap.

After a recorded message that seem to imply in that tent there was meant to happen some sort of contest or show about saving a princess…

My lords, my ladies, welcome and thank you for joining us, here at the castle. Please, settle into your seats for a great battle is about to commence. The prize? Our princess. Will evil prevail, or are we holding out for a hero?

…the song by Bonnie Tyler “Holding Out For A Hero” starts and, as it does Hunter C-20 gets possessed by the Variant (we can see a hand touching her head, green magic on the tip of its finger, and then Hunter C-20’s eyes take an odd green colouring for a moment, a sign she’s possessed) and starts murdering out her own men in a joint effort with the Loki Variant. However while she fights she suddenly drops unconscious and a figure in a cape, clearly our Variant, stabs with her sword the last minuteman. Then, as usual, the Variant steals from the Minuteman what she needs and, this time, also kidnaps Hunter C-20 before disappearing.

Many have seen in the scene a reference to the Shrek 2 scene in which Shrek and his friends storm the castle in order to stop Fiona from kissing Charming, disguised as Shrek.

Me, I would just want to know if the princess is meant to be Hunter C-20 or this Loki Variant.

We’ll see.

Well, anyway we get the Loki title and them we find ourselves with Loki reading a jet ski magazine when Miss Minute would want him to review what he had learnt instead. She tries to quiz him but, although Loki seems to know the answers, he’s not interested in being quizzed, defining it boring.

His attention focuses on Miss Minute, asking her if she’s a recording or alive. She explains she’s both.

Loki looks around then tries to test it, rolling the magazine and attempting to use it to hit Miss Minute, who jumps around in an effort to avoid his blows. He seems to have fun. If this is idea of venting for the mistreatment he suffered at the hands of the TVA or he’s just being playful that’s up to speculation.

Miss Minute escapes inside the pc, complaining he’s being a jerk.

Mobius joins him and from his dialogue we discover the magazine is actually Mobius’ not Loki’s. The guy gives him a package, telling him they’ve to go and that he has to wear what’s inside it, which is actually a jacket, which Loki wears.

They join the others and Hunter B-15 explains how C-20 and her team disappeared in 1885 and they expect it to be an ambush by a Loki Variant, although they don’t know which kind of Loki Variant it can be. Loki suggests they’re the lesser kind, lesser than him, of course.

Hunter B-15 demands to see the back of his jacket on which we can see the writing Variant. She laughs seeing the writing, mockingly, the way one would when he has managed to put an insulting sign on someone’s back without them realizing.

Loki points out she was very subtle in it and she explains she doesn’t want anyone to forget who he is… which, I guess, means Hunter B-15 found yellow, star shaped badges too subtle or maybe not fitting to everyone they deemed a less human to prune away.

Still Loki asks her back if she means they shouldn’t forger he’s their only hope of capturing a murderer.

B-15, who never believed him to be capable of something, correct him saying they should never forget he’s ‘a cosmic mistake’. In short the writing is there to make him recognizable, to ostracize and to humiliate him. He’s not like them, he’s a Variant.

She’s not doing this because he’s dangerous and they should be wary of him, just because he shouldn’t exist.

Mobius states that this is enough… which hints he’s not enjoying this, but he allowed it to happen and didn’t even warn or prepare Loki about it.

Long story short he’s clearly different from B-15 who relishes in all this (and mind you, this is not a critic to Wunmi Mosaku, who’s awesome in the part, just to her character) but he still doesn’t really take a big stance against it as he stopped it only when it dragged on too long.

Mobius brings them back to business, telling everyone they’re looking for a Loki, a variation of the guy with them. He reminds them they should be familiar with Loki because they had pruned more Loki Variants than any other Variant and they’re all different, in appearances.

As Mobius speak we’re shown some Loki Variations with their numbers. Our Loki is the Variant L1130.

I wanted to check the numbers near the Lokis but it seems there had been a mistake in the handling of the numbers

Jotun Loki appears to have first the number L1247 but in the close up it switches to L6792

Cyclist Loki is L1247 and the hulking one is L6792 while the green dressed one is L8914 and the last one with the big helmet is L7803.

Long story short Jotun Loki has probably 2 wrong numbers pasted on himself as they belong to other variations but all the Lokis’ numbers has in common the letter L at the beginning which I guess, stands for Loki.

The visual makes something interesting, projecting the various variants on Loki, which makes us immediately aware of the differences but also reminds us they’re all still Loki.

What leaves me perplex is how those Variants became so different from the original Loki. I mean, our Loki was caught few minutes after he escaped. Unless those Loki managed to escape to the TVA for a while (which would risk the timeline to reach a red line so it seems unlikely it happened) how did they manage to deviate so much from how they were meant to be in the Sacred Timeline?

I mean cyclist Loki would have needed the time to take part to a race to in that cup!

It’s true that in this episode it will turn out the TVA worries only of deviations that impact the timeline, so maybe the TVA started worrying late in their case but it’s still weird.

Anyway Mobius starts digging into the powers they’ve in common which are shape-shifting, illusion-projection, duplication-casting and Mobius’ favourite, which we don’t get to hear as Loki interrupts Mobius saying he got one of the names of his power wrong, it’s Duplication-casting, not Illusion-projection and explains the differences between the two, finishing with:

“But you already knew that.”

… which they didn’t. In short it’s Loki’s turn to point out they act as if they know him when they don’t know him and his powers as well as they think and that he’s actually of some use.

On a sidenote there’s to wonder which one is Mobius’ Loki’s favourite power and if it’s meant to be relevant. This Variant showed it could posses people, and I wonder if what happened to Selvig at the end of “Thor” is a hint our Loki can as well. Our Loki could travel through the secret paths… in “Thor” he could spell his knives, which we know he can make appear out of nowhere. In deleted scenes we learn he could cause mist to appear. “Thor: Ragnarok” said Loki turned Thor into a frog. I wouldn’t mind if he were to start turn people of the TVA into frogs.

Anyway Mobius accepts his explanation and tells the others they’re gonna break in two teams, one of which will include himself and ‘professor Loki’.

B-15’s words about Loki being a cosmic failure clearly made an impression as one of the minutemen question the idea and Mobius is forced to admit since they can’t find this Loki Variant they need an ‘expert’.

Loki takes his chance to remind everyone that by expert Mobius means him. He’s there because he has a use, an importance, a role and they shouldn’t look down on him.

The scene switches.

Loki and Mobius are walking toward the door that will bring them in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 1985.

Loki, repeating a pattern seen in “Thor: The Dark World” asks for a weapon…

Loki (Thor: The Dark World): “You could at least furnish me with a weapon. My dagger, something!”

Loki (Loki): “Do I get a weapon?”

…which Mobius refuses to give him. Loki though points out once out of the TVA he’ll have his magic back and asks Mobius if no one is worried he’ll betray them.

Loki: “Well, I'll have my magic back. Is no one concerned about that?”

Mobius: “Of what?”

Loki: “Me betraying you.”

This also is something we saw in “Thor: The Dark World”.

Loki: “You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?”

Mobius can’t say Frigga did trust him or that he promises him vengeance in exchange of loyalty so he tries to go for something he knew Loki wanted, a meeting with the Time-Keepers. Considering Renslayer, who’s above Mobius, couldn’t grant Loki that, if I were in Loki I would genuinely doubt Mobius can. He just tries to dangle in front of his eyes something Loki might want to win him over.

Loki pauses as Mobius mentions he could meet the Time-Keepers and asks if that’s what’s on the table. Mobius doesn’t really give him a straight answer, just a ‘Keep that focus’.

I wonder if Loki really wants to meet the three space lizards or he just let Mobius believe so because, by acting that way, he made clear he’s interested.

Oh, now that I look at it behind the helmets of the minutemen there are codes which could be their identification codes or names, since they don’t seem to use names.

B-15 has obviously written B-15 while other minutemen had much longer codes.

The group arrives in 1985 and Loki makes a relevant question:

“Let me ask you this, why don't we just travel back to before the attack, when the Variant first arrives?”

It’s something many viewers have been wondering and it turns out that the answer is:

“Nexus events destabilize the time flow. This branch is still changing and growing, so you gotta show up in real time.”

In short the authors knew this could feel like a dumb plot hole so they made a rule to explain why this couldn’t be done. It’s still not perfert… I mean, what it means to show up in real time? They aren’t in the same time as 1985, when itìs real time for them? But whatever, it’s nice they tried to fix this problem.

Mobius asks Loki if he watched all the explicative videos he was supposed to watch and Loki replied only as many as he could stand because he find that their ‘TVA propaganda is exhausting’.

I’m glad Loki and I see things in the same way. Most of the TVA babbling is propaganda meant to brainwash people’s mind.

A Minuteman then asks Loki what ‘these’ (these being the Time Charges) do.

Loki knows perfectly and gives us the confirmation to the thing I, and many others, suspected in the past episode.

Time Charges…

“Reset charges prune the affected radius of a branched timeline, allowing time to heal all its wounds. Which sounds like a nice way of saying disintegrate everything in its vicinity.”

So yeah, it’s genocide or total destruction of that timeline and all the people in it.

But also yeah, Loki studied all he was supposed to study although he insists he watched only some of the videos. I’m not surprised though, a wizard had to be good at studying things and Loki clearly wanted to know how that world worked so of course he would have watched the video even if he’s downplaying it.

They reach the place in which the TVA fought Loki and discover the Loki Variant kidnapped C-20. It turns out that it’s the first time that Variant kidnapped someone. A minuteman suggests the Variant might have pruned (aka killed but the TVA doesn’t use that word) C-20.

B-15 acts defensively, saying a Loki couldn’t have beaten C-20. She clearly views the Lokis, the whole of them as this time she’s not even saying Variants, as inferior. She should probably remember she got collared by one Loki.

Loki tries to warn her saying she’s underestimating the Variant… which she’s doing as the Variant could have very well ‘pruned’ C-20 had the Variant wanted to.

B-15 isn’t interested in hearing him out as she interrupt him and tells the other to fan out and starts searching for C-20 fast as they’re approaching the red line.

Loki stops them, telling them if they’ll leave the tent they’ll end up killed. B-15 thinks it’s a waste of time but Mobius is willing to hear him out.

Loki launches himself in a long explanation, the gist of it being he thinks there’s a scheme behind the Variant’s actions, that they should be aware of their surrounding, listen more (like he does) and less prone to underestimate him or the ‘lesser Loki’.

Now… he’s not completely wrong, the TVA underestimates him, and they has underestimated the other Loki Variant, which we saw lead to some of their losses.

Loki claims the Variant wants him because they know he’s the stronger Loki and so wants to join forces with him to overthrown and rule the TVA. I’m not sure how the Variant would have known there’s a Loki working with the TVA but let’s assume they do and that Loki’s reasoning could make sense… or could be explained with him trying to paint himself as more important than he is.

But then he goes saying that this isn’t what he wants as he’s now a servant of the Sacred Timeline… which is patently untrue and hard to believe… who can hand them the Variant but what assurances he won’t be disintegrated once the job is done.

And okay, his own is a legitimate worry and a legitimate request.

It’s actually clever to ask for reassurances the TVA won’t dispose of him once the job is done… though it’s not like there’s an actual bargaining ground because, if Loki isn’t cooperative and therefore is useless, the TVA will dispose of him anyway.

It’s not so clever he would try to pass himself for a servant of the timeline when he clearly didn’t play the part well. Of course since he said Asgardians were fundamentally naïve, maybe that’s the kind of people he’s used to deal with… but he has experienced distrust in Asgard in “Thor”, proof his own people isn’t so naïve… and he should have figured out Mobius isn’t either.

And then he presses for urgently meeting the Time-Keepers saying they’re in grave danger… and this jump isn’t smooth.

Mobius knows Loki wants to meet the Time-Keepers, so of course if Loki pushes the issue in this way he’s going to be prone to assume it’s a trick. The speech doesn’t even keep a logical flow because Loki first presented himself as better than the Variant and capable to handle it but reluctant to do so for fear of being erased… but now he’s presenting the Variant as a grave threat that requires them to urgently talk with the Time-Keepers.

So from one side it’s pushing for too much when he hadn’t even shown himself to be useful yet and for another it makes for a weak argument if he’s really as superior as he claims to be.

So… hum… the speech seems to tumble down in an unsatisfactory manner, ‘seems’ being the operative word because, if there’s a goal behind its weak points, then they still have a reason to exist.

I’m actually not quite sure which game Loki is playing with the TVA.

He’s for sure trying to survive but then what else does he want to get? I don’t believe he aims to control the universe but I’m pretty sure he’s not swallowing the TVA propaganda and he doesn’t enjoy to be there.

His timeline was pruned so he can’t go back there. Does he want to save Frigga? Is that what he aims to do? Does he want to go into the timeline after… let’s call it ‘canon Loki’ died so as to replace him?

Prior to it?

I don’t know.

Is he saying all those things for the Loki Variant’s benefit? He hopes the Variant is out there hearing him and his speech would make the Variant interested in joining forces?

I don’t know. We’ll see.

Anyway as expected Mobius figures it’s a trick and, since there’s no more time to do anything else, they just reset the timeline and leave.

On another note I like how Loki uses an Asgardian way to say. Way too often in movies even aliens feel compelled to use English ways to say instead than way to say from the world they belong to.

We also see how a time charge works. Loki hurries to move away as soon as he sees them starting it.

They… do something with the top part of it, I’m not sure if they push a button or pulled some sort of safety pin. We see something yellowish being released in the fluid inside the time charge which then turns purplish. The purple colour expands to the whole glass of the time charge until from below it something like a coloured expanding pool comes out. Everything that gets touched by that pool ends up being disintegrated.

At the TVA the monitors show that the ‘reset’ (read ‘disintegration’) of the timeline is done and that C-20 ended up MIA.

A music that’s half sad half… disquieting, start being played and we move into Renslayer’s office.

Mobius is complimenting for her office, pointing out how there’s a new snow globe in it and how he doesn’t remember bringing it to her.

She replies he’s not the only analyst working for her, which seems to imply analysts working for her are meant to bring her souvenirs from their missions. Or better… not quite. Mobius asks her why she gets to keep all the trophies from his cases, which seems to imply they weren’t given willingly.

Still, he tries to get her to admit he’s her favourite analyst.

I’m not really sure what’s going on between these two. They don’t seem to be in a relationship and I’m not sure if Mobius’ attempts at flattering her are because he’d like to be in a relationship with her but doesn’t dare to push the issue or because he’s currying her favours.

We’ll see.

Renslayer moves the discussion to the mission Mobius just botched and I don’t know if I would define it as such. Okay, so they didn’t find C-20 nor the other Loki Variant but chances here are two:

- the Loki Variant was out there using C-20 as bait as Loki said, setting a trap for them, and they successfully avoided it

- the Loki Variant wasn’t out there and so wasn’t C-20 and therefore was nothing for them to find.

Either way the mission wasn’t botched as they came back and successfully disintegrated… pardon, the TVA doesn’t like that word, they prefer ‘purged’ the branched timeline and any living being inside it.

Renslayer, referring to Loki as just ‘this Variant’ complains he’s insubordinate, stubborn and unpredictable like Mobius.

Honestly I think the whole series is trying to draw parallels between Loki and Mobius, where Mobius is however the one who chose to submit to the system where Loki just can’t stand it and wants to break it down.

So, although Mobius should be ‘all lawful’ we can see there’s a bit of ‘chaotic’ inside him.

It’s probably worth to remember that ‘lawful’ and ‘chaotic’ are nothing else but the two opposite extreme on the Ethical axis used for RPG alignment where Lawful represents obedience to the law and Chaotic leans toward personal freedom, without regards to the law.

There’s another sign Mobius isn’t fully lawful, the fact he has the bad habit to leave the glass rest on Renslayer’s furniture, leaving rings, and then insisting he’s not who caused them as they were already there… when Renslayer points out they’re all there due to him.

I know a part of the fandom loves Mobius but I wonder if he’s in the story not only to interact with Loki but also to work in contraposition to him. There are two paths for him, either he chooses the same path as Loki or the opposite. We’ll see.

Mobius tries to blame the ring on Renslayer’s other favourite analyst. I wonder if such person exists and is meant to have a relevance in the story. It’ll be interesting if it’s the other Loki Variant in disguise.

I mean… the other Loki Variant knows plenty of things about the TVA which hints at how they should have a previous and prolonged contact with them because the TVA explains nearly nothing about how their things work to their captives but the other Loki Variant knows what Reset charges are and how they work or how to use a TemPad to open Timedoors.

Yet Mobius doesn’t seem to have info on when they captured that Variant, carried it to the TVA and then let them escape, so again, how did the Variant learnt so much about the TVA?

From another escaping Variant?

Hard to say?

Did they saw the TVA and tailed them till the TVA unnoticed?

I can’t really tell, we’ll see.

Anyway, back to their conversation, Renslayer points out the issue isn’t Mobius’ methods with Loki, but the fact he towed a dangerous Variant into the field… meaning they consider Loki dangerous.

Mobius claims that from that they had learnt ‘the Variant’ likes to stall for time, so the other Variant might end up doing the same, because, to Mobius, understanding one Loki leads to understand the other.

And I’m:

- actually you didn’t need to bring Loki to the field to learn this, didn’t you notice that’s what he did in other circumstances?

- if the two Lokis are different, no, understanding one doesn’t mean understand the other. I mean you had a Loki who was fine living as a Jotun while this one was traumatized by the idea he was a Jotun, Loki can be pretty different about them, enough to be complete opposite so no, nobody said they’ll surely share that particular trait.

Whatever, let’s go on.

Renslayer says Mobius has a soft spot for broken things (which Mobius denies because he’s a bit like Loki and doesn’t want to show weakness), which acknowledges this Loki is broken… but gains him no sympathy from Renslayer as she said that ‘Loki is an evil, lying scourge’. Because he attacked New York? Nope, just because this is the part he plays on the sacred timeline and he can change only if the Time-Keepers decree so, not because he wants to.

Renslayer is big on the predeterminism when it’s about Loki (who’s a Variant by the way and therefore already out of the Sacred Timeline) but why doesn’t she apply it to the TVA as well? They’ll take the Variant only if the Time-Keepers will so.

I think the TVA’s faith in the Time-Keepers has plenty of weak points and is hypocritical. I wonder if the show will explore this.

Mobius switches topic asking how the Time-Keepers are and it turns out he NEVER met them. So he basically can’t even be sure they exist or not, yet he’s pouring all his faith in those three space lizard.

Mobius seems kind of glad he hadn’t met them, which seems to hit they’re either dangerous to meet or he doesn’t have a good opinion of them.

Renslayer says:

“The Time-Keepers are monitoring every aspect of this case. I've never seen them so involved. They want that Variant caught.”

…which seems a way to put Mobius under pressure but really, if they decide the flow of time, shouldn’t the decide if Mobius will catch the Variant or not? They can decide if a Variant Loki can change or not but they can’t control the other?

Anyway Mobius signs the event report Renslayer already signed. We can see Renslayer signs R Slayer while Mobius signs M. M. M.

Mobius notices the pen he used for signing has the writing ‘Franklyn D. Roosvelt High School’ on it and complains that pen too should be from the other analyst Renslayer favoured. And I wonder again, who they are? They’re meant to be relevant? Or they’re only a plot device to make Mobius jealous?

Renslayer only tells him to stay focused. As he’s about to leave though, she stops him asking him if he believes in that Variant. Mobius doesn’t confirm this, saying Loki believes in himself enough for the both of them, complaining Loki is really arrogant and that he will delete him himself if this doesn’t work.

Of course these might be just words he tells to Renslayer but we saw him taking part to erasing timelines and even if he showed sympathy and kindness to the French boy he met in the cathedral in the very first episode, he let him be reset.

“Don't worry, that devil's afraid of us. We're gonna take care of him. And we're gonna put you back where you belong.”

This apparently kind sentence meant they disintegrate him and his timeline so the place the boy belong is basically oblivion.

But I’ll dig on Mobius and Loki in a moment.

For now let me pause a moment on the pen, another gift of Renslayer’s mysterious over analyst, with written on it ‘Franklyn D. Roosvelt High School’.

Franklyn D. Roosvelt, ex-president of the united state is also relevant for the MCU.

In 1940 Roosevelt ordered the formation of the Strategic Scientific Reserve (SSR) to fight the Nazi Party, even though the United States was still at peace with Germany. To ensure that only the greatest scientists work for the SSR, Roosevelt ordered Chester Phillips to recruit Howard Stark into the agency. SSR works in the creation of the Super Soldier Sierum, which ‘gives birth’ to Captain America then it is the re-tasked to fight Hydra. Later it will become part of S.H.I.E.L.D.

So yeah, maybe it’s a coincidence but it’s interesting.

Back to the story.

Mobius leaves Renslayer and we discover Loki has been left outside Renslayer’s office to wait.

Mobius whistles and also motions to Loki to follow him.

Some has compared this with how one would act to a dog. It’s possible they’re not so off track.

The TVA is a world that discriminates Variants and find them worth only being erased. They shouldn’t exist, they’re cosmic jokes, no one should forget someone is a Variant.

Mobius too in his discussion with Renslayer referred to Loki as just “the Variant”. Yet Mobius also feels some sympathy for Loki. Renslayer says he has a soft spot for broken things, if can mean she acknowledges Loki was broken by his experience… but she might also refer to the mere fact he’s a Variant and Variants, in a way, can be seen as ‘broken’ as they didn’t function properly but followed their own path instead than the one the Time-Keepers traced for them.

So the idea Mobius sees Loki as some sort of pet can be fitting. Mobius is growing fond of Loki… but he’s still imbued in all the TVA’s beliefs and teachings about predeterminism and how Variants are bad.

He doesn’t want to be needlessly mean to Loki, but the latter isn’t equal to him, he’s a tool, as everyone reminds him and as he has to remind to everyone else.

Variants has no rights in the TVA, they just exist to be pruned, reset, or, in less pretty but more realistic words, disintegrated.

And Mobius is a guy in the middle.

While he doesn’t want to be a jerk to Variants… or to people in the Sacred Timeline who’re going to die, he’s not really willing to fully fight against the system because he has faith in the system and a side of him he thinks Loki should just accept his place.

We see it in their discussion.

Loki is somewhat nervous… which, I’ll be honest, feels a little weird to me because he’s being openly nervous when usually Loki can keep controlled and hide this sort of things.

He had played a high risk bet during the mission and lost, he had time to think at what to say to Mobius while Mobius was discussing with Renslayer yet what he comes up isn’t really worth of someone who’s supposed to have a silver-tongue.

Okay, so it’s not like we were shown him using his silver-tongue in the movies, as people tended to do the opposite of what Loki asked them or not listen him at all, with the exception of Malekith and the Grandmaster… but we don’t get to see how Loki won the Grandmaster over.

Whatever, maybe there’s a reason, maybe not, we’ll see.

When facing the Variant later, Loki will say he kept the TVA vulnerable at the Renaissance Fair for some time and also that he has been working on gaining their trust. Presenting himself as openly insecure to Mobius, instead than hiding it as he would usually do, might be part of winning him over. As I said in the past commentary for ep 1, sometimes there are more benefits in being honest than in lying, so it can be that it’s not that Loki isn’t nervous, it can be he sees more benefits in showing it to Mobius.

We’ll see.

Mobius is in a bad mood. Although it didn’t seem Renslayer had given him a earful for his failure, it can be his failure burns. He tells Loki to show up, reminding him in the elevator he said he didn’t like to talk… which is something else that makes me think Loki is trying to give Mobius EXACTLY what Mobius asked for, so as to fulfil his expectations and lower his guard.

The following conversation is relevant.

Mobius: Okay. Just shut up! Please. What happened to the guy I met on the elevator? Who didn't like to talk. Remember him? Now I'm stuck with this guy who won't stop yacking away about what makes a Loki tick!

Loki: What? Isn't that precisely why I'm here?

Mobius: No. I don't care what makes you tick. You're here to help me catch the superior version of yourself. That's it!

Only Mobius in the previous episode told him he wanted exactly this from him.

Mobius: I'm serious. All I seek is a deeper understanding of the fearsome God of Mischief. What makes Loki tick?

This is the problem of an unequal partnership like their own. Loki isn’t there because he’s Mobius’ partner and equal, Loki is there to serve a purpose, capturing the other Loki. Renslayer might be right and Mobius might have a soft spot with him, but in the end Mobius ends up reminding Loki his place in the TVA, he’s there to be useful.

Loki takes offence by Mobius calling the other Variant “superior”.

Mobius gives us a slice of his mind… and Loki calls him out on his attempt of manipulation.

Mobius: See? There it is. Right there. I believed, stupidly, that insecure need for validation would motivate you to find the killer. Not 'cause you care about the TVA mission or bein' a hero, but because you know this Variant is better than you and you can't take it.

Loki: Very nice. I mean, it is adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me. I'm ten steps ahead of you. I've been playing a game of my own all along.

But there’s something else worth pointing out. Mobius clearly believes working for the TVA equates at being a hero… and also that Loki would be so prideful he would serve the TVA merely to show them he’s better than the other without caring of how the TVA then might dispose of him.

And again Loki shows his cards way too openly so Mobius calls him out.

Mobius: What, charm your way in front of the Time-Keepers, hustle them, and seize control of the TVA? Am I getting warm? A double cross by history's most reliable liar.

Is really this what Loki aims at? This is what he’s telling around but is really this? Maybe but it seems so obvious, even Mobius could guess it in 5 minutes so… I don’t know, it seems too predictable for someone who’s supposedly smart.

The discussion goes on. Loki has figured since Mobius didn’t have him erased after that failure he is sticking his neck out for him so he asks him why.

Mobius: I'll give you two options, and you can believe whichever one you want. A, because I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold. And you kinda feel bad for that ice runt. Or B, I just wanna catch this guy, and I'll tell you whatever I need to tell you.

I think both options are true, although usually, when proposing two options, the implication is the speaker is telling us to chose the last one… and it makes sense because this is the main motive Mobius is helping Loki. He could do nothing for him if it wasn’t because Loki could be useful… but this doesn’t men Mobius has no sympathy for him.

On another note it’s the second time the scripts hints at Loki as being young

Loki: I was young (in 1971), and I lost a bet to Thor. Where was the TVA when I was meddling with these affairs of men?

I really wonder if the idea is that Loki is young for Asgard standards.

Anyway Loki points out he doesn’t need Mobius’ sympathy, at which Mobius replies that’s good because he’s running out of it.

And again in itself there’s a problem. Mobius probably sees himself as a good person, because the fact he’s using Loki also means he’s sparing Loki from being pruned but, of course, if he has no use for Loki, this wouldn’t save him any longer.

If sympathy is tied to personal convenience, it’s not really sympathy.

As soon as they caught this Loki Mobius ran there to get him for himself because he thought it would be useful. He could have grown fond and it’s fine because it happens… but the key is still Loki has to be useful to him in order to be kept. So he’s not a really selfless act.

That’s why Mobius is no hero, who selflessly sacrifice for Loki, because he hopes in personal gain and… and it’s absolutely human. Mobius might have studied Loki but he basically just met him. Mobius has his own life. Why should he sacrifice it for Loki?

He’s planning for their allegiance to offer mutual benefits, Loki helps Mobius to wipe another Loki out of existence and Loki gets to live a little longer even though, being a Variant, Loki should have been already disposed of.

Mobius probably feels very kind and the other at the TVA would probably agree with him, because he’s giving a chance to someone who is lesser and has no right to chances and this is how their world work.

But we, viewers should be capable to understand their world works in the wrong way.

Loki: What's this? Next step of your manipulation...

Mobius: This is the final step. Your last chance.

Loki: Oh, and what does my desperate last chance require?

At this point Loki has moved back into keeping distance. He calls what’s Mobius is doing as manipulation and sounds flippant as he talks of his ‘desperate last chance’.

Mobius might have sympathy for him but Loki has likely figured out Mobius wouldn’t save him from the TVA beyond a certain point. The very best Mobius can offer him is to remain there working for the TVA to catch other Lokis, all while wearing a jacket that points out he’s a Variant as well, a cosmic joke.

Maybe Mobius might manage to have him dismiss wearing that jacket. Still, all this is tied to how much useful he can be. Mobius though can’t offer him freedom or a way back home.

Anyway Loki’s last chance is to work, to go over each and every one of the Variant's case files, and then, give him his unique Loki perspective and find something. All this while Mobius goes to eat something and keeping in mind his life depends on him proving to be of some use.

Again we’re reminded that Loki isn’t free to drop this work, he’s forced to cooperate, his life depends on it.

Loki starts looking through the documents which basically cover the various cases in which the Variant ambushed the Minutemen and stole their reset charge, clearly not finding them interesting. A woman hush him and he hush her back.

Loki tries going to the one who seems a librarian… but who’s actually so mechanical she feels more like a robot who can’t stop typing to pay attention to those who call her if they don’t ring at her first.

Loki asks her for more files. No, not files on the case, files pertaining to the creation of the TVA… but they’re all classified. The same goes for files pertaining to the beginning of time and the end of the time.

Exasperated Loki asks which files he can have and he’s handed a handful of them which, merely cover his case as a Variant and the life of his alternate self in the sacred timeline.

Loki reads them anyway and discovers of the destruction of Asgard.

As he does he can’t help but shed a tear for his former planet, before noticing the TVA also noted that during the event there was zero variance energy detected.

This causes him to connect some important dots and so he rushes to join Mobius to the restaurant.

At first Mobius doesn’t want to listen him, claiming he told him not to bother him until he read all the files which Loki claims to have done.

Honestly he didn’t seem particularly interested in them but he might have done it as someone who practices magic should have been good at studying. Mobius insists and Loki points out what they’re searching isn’t in the files but in the timeline as the Variant is hiding in the apocalypse.

Mobius asks which one and Loki mentions Ragnarok, asking him if he’s familiar to it. And I wonder if Loki wanted an answer to this one question, if he wanted to know if Mobius knew his homeland was wiped away, that this is something the TVA allowed.

Mobius confirms he knows about it and apologizes to him.

Loki pretends not to care and goes on discussing how a Nexus event is the result of someone doing something he’s not supposed to that causes a chain reaction of things that aren’t supposed to happen.

Mobius confirms.

At this point Loki steals the salad Mobius was eating for his example and decides in his metaphor that salad will represent Asgard.

And tell me whatever you want but, as far as I’m involved this is Loki paying back Mobius for letting him to work while he went to eat.

Mobius gets immediately that his lunch is going to meet an abrupt demise but Loki doesn’t let this deter him.

Loki suggests if he were to go on Asgard before Ragnarok he could do whatever he wants, even push Hulk off the Rainbow bridge, and to prove his point, he adds more salt to the salad. He then says he could also set fire to the place. I don’t know what he adds to Mobius’ salad as he says so, maybe pepper, but this is enough to make Mobius beg not to set fire to the place, which I find hilarious. Loki continues to put salt and… pepper? Into Mobius’ salad commenting that he can do whatever he wants without going against the dictates of the timeline.

He then picks up Mobius’ drink only to find it empty so he goes to get the drink from the nearby’s table, Casey’s table. He then pours it into Mobius’ salad, likely making it impossible to eat, explaining how the drink represents Surtur who will destroy Asgard no matter what Loki does so what he does doesn’t matter.

In short, in addition to making his point, Loki let Mobius too without lunch.

Fair since Loki didn’t have lunch at all.

Mobius still doesn’t get it so Loki goes further on explaining if they have an apocalypse of whatever kind it doesn’t matter what one would do in it because everything would get destroyed so the Variant has to be hiding in an apocalypse, doing whatever they want without them noticing.

Mobius is forced to admit it’s not a bad theory and Loki tells him to bring him to an apocalypse and he’ll show him.

Mobius accuses him of wanting to run back to his homeland and Loki says whatever apocalypse will do. Mobius makes clear he’s afraid to bring Loki around and Loki insists they’ve to test his theory. Mobius makes clear he’s afraid Loki would want to test how stabbable is his back.

Loki complains stabbing someone in the back is a boring form of betrayal. Mobius said he has done it 50 times… which is really not much for someone who lived as long as Loki especially since most of those stabbing if not all took place during battle, because Mobius is talking of literal stabbing here, not metaphorical one.

Loki is not really interested in arguing this one though and just says he won’t do it again because it got old which causes Mobius to laugh. Loki insists that he understands Mobius doesn’t trust him but he should trust something else, Loki loves to be right… and this seals the deal.

So the guys are at Pompeii, Italy – 78 AD, though it would be more correct to say they’re at Pompeii, ROMAN EMPIRE – AD 78 or 78 CE.

Eruption day.

While Mobius is absolutely scared they might mess up the timeline Loki is as overexcited like a kid on a sugar rush.

Loki cried reading of the destruction of Asgard but here he seems pretty giddy.

To Mobius scolding him because ‘it’s just not in good taste’ he replies ‘they’re gonna die anyway’.

And in itself is interesting. Mobius said he’s sorry for Asgard destruction, now he worries about ‘good taste’ but in the end he’s not going to do anything to spare those people’s lives.

The dead count will be of over 2.000 a good part of it dying a horrible albeit fast death as they’ll be literally vaporized by the heat of the pyroclastic flow.

In face of so many people about to die Mobius worrying Loki’s behaviour isn’t in good taste feels hypocritical, a mere care for the form, in fact he agrees with Loki it’s ‘cool’ the whole city will be wiped off the planet and his main worry is they shouldn’t create a huge branch.

Anyway, while Mobius insist they should start creating only a very small disturbance, Loki ends up freeing animals and announcing the eruption and the following death of everyone to the people.

Loki making all that chaos feels as if this is way to distance from the apocalypse that hit Asgard. Honestly I don’t think he wanted to go there during Ragnarok if there was nothing he could have done to save it.

However his speech is also an interesting way for Loki to try and pry info from Mobius about the TVA

Loki: ( Speaking latin ) You’re all about to die. That volcano is about to erupt! I would know, because I’m from the future. ( In english ) We are from the future, right? What is the TVA? I mean, it's from the future. It sounds from the future. It's pretty future-y.

Mobius won’t reply to him but the eruption will start right there, the Tempad continuing to sign zero variance energy, proving Loki was right. I wonder if this was also Loki’s way to try and see if an apocalypse could be prevented.

Oh, Loki talks Latin here but I’ve already talked about the language problem in the MCU and how the TVA seems to have a tv series version of Allspeak which, evidently passed to Loki too as he showed he previously couldn’t talk to Mongolian people.

On another note… the eruption, as depicted in the show, is not historically accurate.

Around 1:00 p.m., Mount Vesuvius violently erupted, spewing up a high-altitude column (the column supposedly as high as 30 km) from which ash and pumice began to fall, blanketing the area. Rescues and escapes occurred during this time.

It’s only much later, in the night or during the day after that the pyroclastic flows began and it Pompeei 4 minutes later, murdering everyone there.

The show instead seems to mix up the first eruption with the beginning of the pyroclastic flow (which is the one we see approaching from behind Loki), skipping the fall of ash and pumice.

Of course from a storytelling point of view it works a lot better, so it’s not a big deal and it’s just artistic freedom, it’s just my history lover’s heart which is bleeding.

If you want to enjoy how the eruption looked like there’s a nice video on Youtube “A Day in Pompeii - Full-length animation”.

The switch between Pompeii and back to the TVA feels a little abrupt, as if the Pompeii scene was meant to last more and they cut it.

Anyway they’re back on TVA and Mobius is summarizing Loki’s theory. Loki tells him he’s welcome, which, I take, is Loki’s clue he’d like to be thanked for his contribution. Mobius though is more focused on the mechanics of their new discovery.

He believes for Loki’s theory to hold the disasters have to be naturally-occurring, sudden, no warning, no survivors. So Ragnarok wouldn’t be okay because Loki and Thor triggered it and there were survivors. That is unless the TVA retconned “Thor: Ragnarok”.

Anyway, they decide they’ll have to find out how many of those natural disasters there are… but in the end Loki falls asleep on all the documents they’re checking.

I know there’s a debate if this proves he trusts Mobius or not… but the point is, he just proved himself he was of great help, so Mobius who has shown to have some measures of sympathy toward him despite his strict adherence to the TVA code and that make him capable to disintegrate him should need arise, has really no reason to harm him, quite the opposite.

Also he’s likely quite exhausted, both physically and emotionally otherwise he clearly wouldn’t fall asleep on an uncomfortable position over a stack of papers.

And differently from Mobius he supposedly didn’t even had lunch.

Mobius yawns which shows he’s clearly worn out as well, wakes him and tells him they’re going for a walk. So no bed, they’ll only take a small break.

I take they end up in the TVA version of a cafeteria where Loki asks Mobius about the jet ski magazine. Mobius ends up showing his total love for jet skis.

“Yeah. You know, some things... Actually, most things in history are kinda dumb, and everything gets ruined eventually. But in the early 1990s, for a brief, shining moment, there was a beautiful union of form and function, which we call the jet ski, and a reasonable man cannot differ.”

Actually he sounds like a fanboy, dismissive of everything he doesn’t like and imposing his own likes claiming no one could have a different opinion from him. It’s not a complain, it’s human. I like how the TVA members, despite their dystopian setting and their fanatic faith to the TVA religion have characteristics, both good and bad, that made them human.

However, at Loki’s question if he has ever tried a Jet Ski, Mobius admits he never been on one because if a TVA agent were to show up on a jet ski that would create a branch. It’s a poor excuse since they show up in timelines in their everyday clothes in time periods in which those clothes aren’t appropriate and anyway, who cares since they reset the branches so they could even show up naked and everything would get erased?

In this Mobius is the opposite of Loki, although he too has wishes that make him similar to Loki he doesn’t dare to fulfil them, he completely focuses on his work, he claims to read the magazines because they remind him what he’s fighting for… jet skis appearing in the Sacred Timeline in early 1990s apparently.

Okay, it’s more that he believes if the Sacred Timeline gets destroyed everything would but people who were believing to be heroes like he does would say they would fight for people, not for a beautiful vehicle that could be enjoyed only for a brief amount of time.

Mobius in a way is disconnected by the people on the sacred timeline, maybe because he never met them, he met the Variants, which are considered something to be pruned and nothing more and he actively help in pruning them.

So maybe he can’t work for people, because as soon as those people become variants, bang, they need to be wiped away. I think Mobius would like to be a decent person, I think he doesn’t want to harm people so he keeps distance and blindly swallows the TVA teaching and this discussion further proves it.

Loki asks if he really believes in all the TVA preaches and Mobius replies:

Mobius: I don't get hung up on, "Believe, not believe." I just accept what is.

It reminds me of a discussion he had with Loki in the past episode:

Loki: So that had the Time-Keepers' seal of approval, did it?

Mobius: Well, I wouldn't think of it in terms of approval and disapproval. That's sort of a... Let's get back to escapes...

Mobius just accepts things as they are presented. But why he accepts them?

Loki goes on summarizing how the TVA’s beliefs are that three magic lizards created the TVA and everyone in it including Mobius, which for Loki is clearly something dumb to believe.

Loki: Every time I start to admire your intelligence, you say something like that.

Mobius tries to retort it by turning tables on Loki.

Mobius: Okay, who created you, Loki?

Loki: A Frost Giant of Jotunheim.

Mobius: And who raised you?

Loki: Odin of Asgard.

Mobius: Odin, God of the Heavens. Asgard, mystical realm, beyond the stars. Frost Giants. Listen to yourself...

Loki: It's not the same. It's completely different. No. It's not the same.

Mobius: It's exactly the same thing.

The HUGE problem in Mobius’ reasoning is that he’s mixing up what Loki has experienced, his skin turning blue, proving he’s a Jotun, living his whole life with Odin, believing him to be his father, with Mobius merely believes as Mobius has no knowledge of what the Time-Keepers are since he never met them and likely doesn’t even remember when he was created or things like that.

Loki believes in what he lived though because he touched and sampled it and, in fact, he had a breakdown when he discovered part of it, the part he had no memory about but embraced out of faith was a lie (Loki couldn’t remember his Jotun heritage or his birth so he accepted what he was told, that Odin and Frigga were his parents). This likely makes even harder for him to accept that Mobius would just blindly believe in something he hadn’t experienced in the slightest.

Mobius had said:

Mobius: I don't get hung up on, "Believe, not believe." I just accept what is.

But at the end of it what motivates him is blind belief.

Mobius: Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I'm just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this... My own glorious purpose. Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real.

The TVA is real because he believes so. It has to be or his own ‘glorious purpose’ would mean nothing. Loki got burned by the truth. Mobius doesn’t want to end up the same, he doesn’t want to think at the absurdity the TVA feds him, he doesn’t want to question if what he does is right or wrong because the truth might disappoint it, it might be ridiculous, in bad taste, like being excited as Pompeii is about to be buried by the volcano.

The TVA is Mobius’ religion, and, to paraphrase Karl Marx faith in the TVA ‘is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.’

But this kind of mindset is also the mindset of whose who represent the ‘banality of evil’ of those who indulge in the capital vice of Acedia, whose who do not care, who do nothing to stop evil empower it and support it.

“...morally speaking, there is no limit to the concern one must feel for the suffering of human beings, that indifference to evil is worse than evil itself, that in a free society, some are guilty, but all are responsible.” ― Abraham Heschel

And, after all, Mobius works to support it, to support the TVA as they prune/reset countless lives.

There’s something else that’s interesting.

Mobius is supposed to be a lawful character… yet he doesn’t believe existence is order. Existence is chaos. And, in the same way as he’s afraid to try out a jet ski and making excuses for why he doesn’t do so, I think Mobius deep down is scared by chaos. Fascinated by it but scared by it as well. In fact he’ll later says that he believes when it all will end and the Time-Keepers will have finished untangling the timeline all that will emerge will be order.

Loki: Ah, I see. So, when they're finished, what happens then?

Mobius: So are we. No more nexus events. Just order. And we meet in peace at the end of time. Nice, right?

Loki: Only order?

Mobius: Mmm-hmm.

Loki: No chaos? It sounds boring.

Mobius: I'm sure it does to you.

Order is reassuring, it gives people a sense, a purpose, order is explainable. Order follows laws so it’s lawful. But order, like Loki points out, is also boring, predictable. No bad surprise would come out of it, true, but no good surprise either. No change. No possibility to get worse… but no possibility to get better either. Order is static where chaos is always changing. You need a mixture of both to make a worthy life.

Besides the idea they ‘meet in peace at the end of time’ to me feels more like an attempt to use a different wording to say ‘we’re all dead’ or ‘we’ll be all pruned/reset’. So not particularly encouraging.

But I’m running ahead a bit. When Mobius says Loki that the TVA is real because he believes so, Loki accepts it. For the moment.

Loki: Fair enough. You believe it's real.

And I wonder if, in a way, Loki can understand. Because the chaos, the unpredictable, is what made him discover he wasn’t an Odinson. If he hadn’t questioned Odin’s words, if he hadn’t gone and taken the Casket of Ancient Winters in his hands but just turned his eyes away when his skin turned blue, if, like Mobius said, he hadn’t thought to hard at it, or at how bad Thor could be as a kind, if he just had shrugged everything off and said ‘yeah, I’m sorry Thor will be a poor kind but that’s what meant to be, who cares?’ and ‘yeah, it’s weird my skin turned blue but Odin said I’m his son so who am I to question him?’ he would have spared himself many unpleasant things.

He would be at Asgard, thinking to be Odin’s son, trying to help Thor, who prior to his banning to Earth was completely unfit to rule, not ruin completely the planet. That would be his own glorious purpose. Nothing more.

And while it wouldn’t be a great purpose… well, it would have spared him of a lot of pain so I think Loki can see the charm of it… but at the same time he can see the danger of it. If we’ll blindly follow the rules we give up on our free will.

Loki: So everything is written. Past, present, future. There's no such thing as free will.

Mobius: Well, I mean, you know, it's an oversimplification...

Mobius thinks it’s an oversimplification but it’s not. He’s probably telling himself since he submits to the rules willingly, well, that’s his free will. But we’ve seen that the other option is being reset. The Variants are nothing else but people who didn’t follow the dictation of the Time-keepers, a dictation they didn’t even know existed, but merely followed their free will. And the TVA erases them.

It’s true, the ones that follow the Sacred Timeline, not knowing they’re following the dictation of the Time-keepers, are still, in a way, following their free will, but it’s actually a pretty tricky situation because their options get pruned by the TVA.

People don’t exist in a vacuum. We take decisions according to what happens around us.

Now think to a world in which Odin tells Loki the truth right from the start. This would lead Loki to get very different decisions… only that Odin, if it ever existed, got pruned.

Think to a Thor who’s ready to rule when he’s about to be crowned so that Loki doesn’t have to disrupt the coronation. Well, think twice because that Thor got pruned.

Think to a Frigga who hands the crown to Loki but also sits next to him instead than next to Odin to support him while he’s going through his worst crisis. Pruned again.

Think to the Warriors Three and Sif not attempting to go fetch Thor after he’s banned. Sorry, they got pruned.

Think to Heimdall not allowing Thor to go to Jotunheim. Never mind he got pruned.

Loki made his choices. It was his free will. But his choices were tied to all that happened around him, and since all that happened around him was decided he was channelled toward certain decisions, everything working to make him take such decision.

Actually, each time he tried to take a different decision he too got pruned.

The resulting Loki that inhabits the Sacred Timeline, more than the result of his own free will, is the result of manipulation of the events and TVA selection. Which is kind of creepy.

But okay, it’s interesting how, in a way, Loki tries to connect with Mobius.

Maybe it’s Stockholm syndrome as Loki was someone held captive and sentenced to death and then Mobius came in and made clear that Loki’s survival depended on him, maybe it’s just that Mobius showed him some measure of kindness and appreciation and it doesn’t matter if he was being manipulative or not, Loki was so starved for it he fell for it, or he caught up on some similarities between them.

Sure, it can be that by connecting with him he can better use him but I don’t think that’s just it.

Mobius is someone Loki can connect with on an intellectual level, where Thor was just ‘let’s hit things’ and the Warriors Three and Sif were just, let’s do what Thor says.

And after Thor and his friends there were Thanos and the Other and clearly Loki couldn’t connect with them. So it doesn’t matter how screwed up the situation is and how Mobius manipulated Loki in their first meeting and what he told him, fundamentally Mobius is the only one Loki, who’s forced to go around with a jacket saying ‘Variant’ because no one has to forget he’s a cosmic joke, has in that setting.

So yes, it’s VERY screwed up but it makes sense Loki would partially latch on him. It’s human.

On another note I’m not really fond of the idea of Mobius using the French ‘au contraire’ while talking with Loki. Maybe it’s an ad-lib but since there’s already enough mess on how the TVA can talk all the languages and Asgardian somehow don’t have Allspeak, I would have preferred if they hadn’t mixed English and French now. Whatever, maybe that’s just me.

Loki goes on.

Loki: You called me a scared little boy.

Mobius: I called you a lotta things.

I wonder what Mobius means here, if he’s just telling Loki he shouldn’t focus on that (as calling him as such was Mobius’ attempt at showing him sympathy), but Loki nails another relevant topic.

Loki: You did. You're wrong, though. You see, I know something children don't.

Mobius: What's that?

Loki: That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.

It’s interesting it’s coming from Loki because it means, differently from how sometimes Marvel movies seems to depict a world in black and white, Loki could see the shades of grey.

In his family. In the Avengers. In Thanos and the Other. Maybe even in the TVA people. And this means in himself as well.

And we go back to what he said in Ep 1:

Loki: I can't go back, can I? Back to my timeline. I don't enjoy hurting people. I... ( Sighs ) I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to.

Mobius: Okay, explain that to me.

Loki: Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.

Mobius: A desperate play for control. You do know yourself.

Loki: A villain. ( Sighs )

He painted himself as a villain, as someone all black, to show as if he was someone in control… in “Thor” when he was in an emotional storm, in “The Avengers” when he actually was working for Thanos.

But if we consider Loki’s words solely for their tie to the present discussion, he’s trying to tell Mobius that the black and white vision Mobius is trying to adopt doesn’t work. If there’s good in bad and bad in good, the perfect world Mobius thinks he can archive doesn’t exist and his glorious purpose is not so glorious.

Nothing is perfect and so no perfect order or perfect chaos can exist and trying to paint things or people black and white as the Time-Keepers are doing and the TVA as well, is a mistake.

Loki’s words though cause Mobius to remember the boy he met in the cathedral before going to Loki’s trial and how he had a candy box left by the Loki Variant. And I’ve always wondered WHY did the Loki Variant left that candy box behind? Is like she’s leaving breadcrumbs for the TVA or someone working with them to track her down.

Kablooie was only sold regionally on Earth from 2047 to 2051. While it wouldn’t be easy to track the Variant with just this, the Variant limits the place they’ve to search for them to only 4 years.

On an interesting note although Mobius claimed to know everything about Loki’s life he evidently had no idea if Asgardians had candies or not. So yeah, I think Mobius didn’t exactly knew EVERYTHING about Loki’s life, only what the TVA deemed relevant.

Anyway Mobius decides since they now know the Variant is hiding in an apocalyptic event in which Kablooie are involved they can cross-reference the two things.

Mobius has probably more clearance than Loki as he gets the files and then gives Loki a half, encouraging him to search fast through them by making it a competition… which actually is dumb, because the Variant can only be in one place so only the one who got that file among them can find it, no matter if he’s fast or slow… but whatever, Loki is motivated enough by this because he likes to win.

However, although Mobius asks him if he wants to bet on something, then he demands they’ll play for pride.

Anyway, as Mobius realizes it’s one apocalyptic event after another (all in 5 years) Loki finds what they’re searching for in an apocalyptic event in Alabama, 2050.

This gains him Mobius’ praise as he tells him he’ll take his job if he’s not careful.

I remember reading some interviews suggested Loki and Mobius had a mentor/student type of relation. Well, Mobius definitely feels like the mentor, one who takes care of Loki and teaches him how it works at the TVA, completely not focusing on how Loki was basically kidnapped by the place, doesn’t aim to stay there and people look down at him and is always ready to dispose of him because he’s a Variant… and what’s worse, the Variant of someone who, according to the Time-Keepers is meant to be ‘an evil, lying scourge’.

On the other side… working for the TVA is Loki’s only option to survive in that setting so Mobius likely sees it as Loki having to stop ‘thinking too hard’ and also make the TVA his life. In short he should just be like him and submit to the Time-Keepers.

So yeah, his point of view make sense but… it’s terrible, it’s actually telling people not to resist to wrong conditions but submit to them. It’s the typical mindsetting of a bureaucratic huge corporation or system, where no one matters and everyone obeys without worrying to much about what they’re obeying at.

But back to the story Mobius goes to Renslayer to asks her ‘to approve deployment of a fully-armed task force to the Variant's potential hiding spot’.

By the way said hising spot is in ‘Haven Hills, Alabama, corporate town owned by Roxxcart until it's wiped out by a hurricane’.

The name Roxxcart might remember to who read the comic or watched “Agent Carter” of the Roxxon Corporation, one of the world's largest conglomerates, founded in the 1940s. It also appeared in Marvel “Cloak & Dagger” and “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”, with vague references at it in “Iron Man”, “Iron Man 2”, “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer”, “Iron Man 3” and the MCU comic “The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week”. It’s hard to say if this will be another vague reference or there will be more.

Renslayer is prejudiced against our Loki as she continues to call him a Variant and tries dismissing the whole thing merely because HE suggested it and the other time he ‘blew up’ the previous mission. Which he didn’t but of this I’ve already talked.

Mobius is all happy Loki proved himself useful and his idea to use him was right but Renslayer instead insists on not trusting him, even though he just discovered a huge hole in their security system.

Now, okay, Loki isn’t to be trusted blindly, but Renslayer isn’t really giving a rational reason why this theory, which actually makes a lot of sense and is supported by some evidence Mobius collected, would be wrong. If they’re going to shot down any theory Loki comes up just because he’s Loki then she shouldn’t have even given him to Mobius.

In fact when Mobius point out how Loki HELPED discovering the hole in the security she’s only more worried.

Anyway Mobius is so excited he manages to get her to agree, although she warns him she won’t be able to help him if this doesn’t work out.

They kind of repeat something that was included in the video/commercial of the TVA Miss Minute showed Loki in the previous episode.

Mobius: For all time.

Ravonna Renslayer: Always.

I wonder if this is actually meant to be the TVA catchphrase.

Anyway Mobius leaves Renslayer and we see Loki is out of the room, nervous, waiting for him. He seems quite satisfied when Mobius says they’ve got permission.

Mobius is still all excited… and make a vague promise that amounts to… basically nothing, to Loki.

Mobius: I'm tellin' you. You actually help us catch this Variant, and who knows, my friend.

Loki: What, good enough for a face-to-face with the Time-Keepers?

Mobius: I didn't say that. One step at a time.

Loki: All right. One step at a time.

He actually promises nothing to him, because, as he said, he said nothing. ‘Who knows’ can mean anything, even that after they catch the Variant they’ll prune him, or they’ll merely allow him to live at the TVA, forcing him to work for them. Who knows what ‘who knows’ mean!

Loki tries to have some more solid confirmation and basically gets nothing, which is not very promising.

As far as I’m involved I think Mobius is doing this promise more because he’s trying to keep Loki loyal than because he has something solid to offer to him. In fact he hadn’t bargained with Renslayer for this. Loki is there to catch the Variant, catching the Variant would end their need to use Loki but, as soon as Mobius got permission for the mission he left without insuring if they were to succeed he could keep him.

Does Loki really want to meet the Time-Keepers? What he aims to get from them?

Anyway Mobius is so excited he tries to give knives to Loki.

Enters Hunter B-15, who strongly despise Loki who takes them away from him (I wonder if Loki managed to steal them back unknown to her. I would love if he did). She briefs her men for the mission, which also allows us viewers to get some info and orders them to prune Loki at sight. Clearly she doesn’t even believe in putting him to that mock trials the TVA offers to its captive Variants.

Loki makes present they should preferably prune the bad Loki, not him and then the scene moves to Haven Hills and I love how this time they had introduced it not by writing it on the screen but by showing us a sign saying we’re in Haven Hills, Alabama… before having it destroyed.

I really love this scene.

The TVA arrives at Roxxcart and they’ve the good sense to open their Timedoors outside of it.

It’s interesting how Loki looks up at the storming sky. I wonder if he’s searching for thunders (we saw one hitting the ground before the TVA appeared) as a way to check if Thor is around, even though it’s clear Thor wouldn’t cause such destruction.

To Hunter B-15’s surprise Loki uses his magic to dry up, which somehow seems to make her even more suspicious of him. Because yeah, drying yourself is such a sinister act.

Mobius would like to go with Loki at the Green House but Hunter B-15 forbids it, wanting to part them. Mobius has to go with Hunter D-90 while Loki has to stay with her.

And I’ve the personal suspicion that’s because she hopes in a not to obvious chance to prune him too away from Mobius’ eyes.

B-15 tells Mobius if he’s not fine with it, he can go argue with Renslayer about it.

It’s interesting how they’re arguing. I wonder if Hunters and Analysts actually form two different and opposite classes in TVA who argue against each other despite a poster depicting them as working together.

Anyway Loki gets in between and tells Mobius it’s fine, that he can trust him and that he’ll understand trust has to be gained so he’ll gain it.

Honestly the way Loki puts it makes him even more suspicious for me, but I wonder if the key is it has to work for B-15.

Mobius complains about how is always the people you can’t trust that tell you ‘trust me’. Well, the people you trust wouldn’t need to ask you your trust so they won’t tell it to you.

Mobius though at this surrender as well, he’s so excited to get the Variant he doesn’t consider he could ask to stay with B-15 as well, or that he could say B-15 is asking this because she wants to try to harm Loki. He just let the issue go after a jab about how the past time B-15 ended up wearing the Time Collar.

Meanwhile the Loki Variant has noticed they’re in thanks to all the cameras in the place, as if they were waiting for the TVA. Again I wonder if the Loki Variant has someone supporting them in the TVA because they seem to know too much, later they’ll even show knowing the other Loki was brought in by the TVA to capture them.

We see the Loki Variant leaving down a tempad on which there’s a countdown that’s at 20 minutes.

Back to Loki he’s in the greenhouse with B-15, trying to chat with her… which could be a genuine attempt at communication or an attempt at warning the Variant they’re there. I’m not sure on which side Loki is… but I wonder if his goal is to stall things.

He might suspect if they get the Variant he’ll be disposed off so his aim might be to show he’s useful but also to stall the capture of the Variant. This might be what he was trying to do in the previous mission as well. So it’s not exactly he’s trying to help the Variant, he’s trying to gain time for himself.

B-15 doesn’t feel like talking with him but then they find a guy who claims to be shopping for plants despite the hurricane.

B-15 asks Loki if the guy could be him and Loki points out he ‘probably would have worn a suit, but, yes, maybe’, hinting at how Loki cares about how he looks.

B-15 gets too close to the guy who manages to grab her. We see some green magic pass to B-15 and then the guy faints. Loki asks if he’s dead but ‘B-15’ tells him ‘they usually survive’, making clear she’s no more B-15 but the Variant possessing her, who also recognizes Loki for who he is:

“So, you're the fool the TVA brought in to hunt me down.”

As I said this sentence gives me the feeling the Variant knew the TVA brought him someone to hunt them, in short they’ve inside intel about the TVA and I would love to know how.

Now possessing B-15 is a good move as she’s a good fighter with a weapon in her hands and this also leaves Loki on her own.

Loki recognizes the speaker for what they are, the Loki Variant possessing B-15, in short himself.

The Variant points out:

“Please. If anyone's anyone, you're me.”

Implying the Variant saw themselves as the better/original Loki version.

Wunmi Mosaku does a good work at playing the Loki Variant here, really.

Back in the shelter people is clearly in deep distress and a guy thinks the TVA is there to help them.

I think Mobius is torn, a side of him would just search for the Variant, the other is being affected by the situation but he tries to suppress it.

D-90 instead doesn’t care and pushes the man away as if he didn’t even exist. Which he doesn’t for him.

Mobius: What are you doing? Hey! These people are scared.

Hunter D-90: They're about to die. They should be scared.

Mobius: Okay. Not of us.

Even though those people aren’t Variants as they’re going to die the TVA doesn’t acknowledge them right. Like the Loki Variant they don’t care what they do because everything will be erased, either by a reset charge or by the apocalypse.

Mobius doesn’t like this… but again it’s not like he’s trying to save those people, he’ll let them die because the Time-Keepers dictate so.

Hunters in the TVA are somehow all jerks. Again they would work well as stand in for police brutality but I don’t know if the series wants to go this way.

Mobius and D-90 are interrupted when a Minuteman informs them they had found a tied C-20 who’s in state of shock and repeating over and over ‘it’s real’.

So C-20’s role isn’t to be a bait, I think it’s possible the Variant wants to use her to deliver a message to the TVA.

Back to Loki he comments on the spell used.

“Enchantment is a clever trick. Cowardly, a bit amateur-ish, but clever.”

The fact enchantment was used seems to be a nod to how the Variant might be Sylvie Lushton, who also went under the alias of enchantress.

In the comics Sylvie is not the original enchantress, that one was Amora, sister of Lorelei who appeared in “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”. Sylvie was supposedly a human created by Loki who also gave her her magical powers. Although she has no training she has amazing magical powers and moved from wanting to be an Avenger to trying to become a Villain.

We’ll see what this Variant will turn out to be.

Anyway the Variant blames Loki of being the coward one because he works for the TVA. She mocks this asking him if he really believes that, which he confirms so she dismisses him:

Hunter B-15 (possessed): ( The variant chuckles ) And here I was worried that they'd found a better version of me.

And this again seems to imply the Variant KNEW the TVA got themselves a Loki but who told them? They just discovered it at the fair?

A person, Randy, appear and B-15 touches him then faint. Loki almost hurries to help her before realizing what had happened.

Well, the Variant could have disintegrate Randy instead she preferred to transfer themselves into him. This is interesting because it seems although they’ve no hesitation in killing TVA people they’re against harming normal people.

Loki still go to check B-15… or can it be he placed something in one of her pockets? Like a message for Mobius? Loki touches his jacket before bending down on B-15 and this time we don’t see what he touches as she’s cut off the screen which is odd.

The Variant thinks he’s trying to search a transmitting device to call the others for help. Loki tails the Variant, challenging them to face him and then explaining how he had gained the TVA confidence.

The Variant is not that much impressed but they continue to give Loki their back. Not that it matter as that back isn’t really the Variant’s back.

Loki explains his plan… which I don’t know if it’s really his plan or a trick.

Loki: I'm going to overthrow the Time-Keepers. And, uh, cards on the table, I could use a qualified lieutenant.

It’s relevant how Loki, talking with the Variant, uses a more polite and Asgard like language.

The Variant is clearly not interested in working for Loki but what hits me is that they don’t want to be called ‘Loki’ which could be because they aren’t Loki after all.

Loki: What say you... Loki?

Randy (possessed): Ugh. Don't call me that. You can call me... Randy.

I love how this meeting helps Loki to realize why Thor found these techniques annoying.

Loki: God. Now I understand why Thor found this so annoying.

Loki claims he has helped the Variant at the fair so yes, apparently he has played that risky bet back then for a reason. I really would love to know which game Loki is playing.

Loki: Listen. Enough with your games. I've been trying to help you. I kept them vulnerable at the Renaissance Fair for some time.

The Variant still isn’t interested in joining him as they don’t care about ruling the TVA.

We see that there are Time charges placed all around, partially hidden from sight which don’t promise anything good and someone, likely the Variant, is tweaking with them while ‘Randy’ keeps Loki distracted. So yes, this Variant too is good at stalling.

C-20 is still babbling, while Mobius tries to get something out of her.

D-90 just waves her off saying she’s off the dial and showing a worrying lack of a care for a companion.

Although C-20 says she wants to go home when Mobius offers to send them back she says she can’t as she gave away the position of the Time-Keepers.

Oh, so C-20 knew it? Did she, differently from Mobius met them?

D-90 tries to contact B-15 causing her to wake up.

Loki tries to get what the Variant wants but the Variant refuses to explain themselves saying Loki is too late. Loki counters he’s ahead as he found the Variant’s hiding place, then notices the Time charges and thinks the Variant lead them there to blow the place up.

As he turns his gaze Randy has disappeared and the Variant has possessed a big guy who starts beating Loki. Loki is not really fighting back. Are possessed people really so powerful or Loki is trying to pass himself for weak?

Anyway, after pointing out:

Loki: I would never treat me like this.

Which might be our clue the Variant isn’t really a Loki but someone pretending to be one, Loki starts more actively to try to avoid blows and even use his magic to get something he can use as shield.

The Variant’s language is nowhere near as polite as Loki and the possessed guy manages to send Loki on the ground. The idea of a toy dachshund bumping against him is cute.

B-15 manages to find Mobius and she’s forced to confess she lost Loki. Likely she thinks it’s due to Loki but doesn’t know how to explain it while D-90 just says Mobius’ favourite Loki betrayed him as they run to search for him.

The possessed guy is using another tempad connecting it to another mechanism. Although Loki couldn’t move he hadn’t tried to kill him and now Loki wakes up and demands to know what the Variants wants from him and what is this about. He’s clearly angry.

The possessed guy stands up and then tells him to brace himself before fainting, a sign the Variant isn’t possessing him anymore.

A recording keeps on repeating Loki’s last two sentences ‘What do you want from me? What is this about?’.

I’m not sure why the Variant would record those two sentences and play them over unless we’re to assume they’re actually only playing in Loki’s head.

The Variant appears, removes their hood to reveal it hid a blond woman face then in an unfriendly tone she states:

“This isn't about you.”

Loki’s surprise lasts only few seconds before he says ‘right’.

Meanwhile the countdown has reached 0, the light shot down, the time charges, tons of them, turn on but then below them timedoors appear, sending them away.

Mobius notices what’s going on and worries about where the Time charges are going.

Back at the TVA we assist to the sudden formation of LOTS of branches. The Analysts come to the conclusion someone ‘bombed’ the Sacred Timeline.

Renslayer, who has a hunter helmet that starts with A-25… which might mean she was one of the first hunters of the place, grabs her weapon as Minuteman spun to action.

Loki sees the Variant grabbing the Tempad again and using it to open a human size timedoor as she watches him. She waves at him the way he did at the Hulk when he went on the lift and goes through the Timedoor. Loki considers following but stalls for a moment. Mobius is running there, telling him to wait. Loki sees him but decides to go through the timedoor anyway and, as he does the timedoor disappears, leaving Mobius and the hunters outside.

The episode ends here.

People had been wondering what was Loki thinking when he went through the Timedoor and Tom Hiddleston explained it in an interview:

There's a very big moment at the end where Loki steps through that portal. From your perspective what is going through Loki's mind when he looks back at Mobius and then decides to go through the door anyway? Is he feeling any remorse there at all?

I think certainly there's conflict. I think he… you know, Mobius is someone who, perhaps for the first time in his life, he thinks he might be able to trust, and perhaps trusts him, and he doesn't want to betray that trust, but at the same time he has to go and see what that's what's going on, he has to do that. I think it was he can't help himself but follow… uh… because it's too strange and to, you know, provoke so much curiosity within him. So there is a huge conflict there, he thinks “I probably shouldn't do this, maybe there can be repercussions down the line, but I have to see what that's about”. ['Loki' - Tom Hiddleston & Owen Wilson Talk Ep 2 Twist! _ TVLine Interview]

Now this might be not the full truth because Tom might have been forced to withhold information in order not to give away the plot of future episodes but it’s worth considering it.

Undoubtedly following the other Loki is a risk. It’s clear the other is challenging him to follow… and he knows next to nothing about the other Loki so, if the TVA is bad for him, the other Loki could be worse and he might be trading a bad place for a pure hell. Who says the other Loki doesn’t work for Thanos for example?

In the TVA he has Mobius as some sort of interested ally, with the other Loki he has no one. You know, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know". At the same time it makes sense he wants to try following the other Loki because he’s not the type to stagnate and remain there. He has to see, he has to try. Where Mobius wouldn’t risk, Loki does. I hope for him the bet will be worth it.

Last but not least it’s worth to mention in the ending theme they’ve replaced two photos of Loki with one of the Loki Variant and another with just a different image of Loki with the TVA jacket.

So anyway we’ve gotten to the end of it. I still wonder if the Loki Variant as an insider in the TVA passing her info and if she’s really a Loki or she just pretends to be. How she came to make all this big plan? Why she had looked like she wanted Loki to tail her?

We’ll see.

#loki #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #hunter b 15 #hunter c 20 #ravonna renslayer #casey #mcu loki #tom hiddleston #9 worlds study #9 worlds study mcu loki

10 notes · View notes