Oh you can tell I'm watching the movie again I'm finally voicing my THOUGHTS

ASKS 20

lmao last time i did one of these was February there is a lot

Anonymous said: What's your collab process when you and other creators make packs? Like how do you decide to do it together and how do you split up the ideas and everything?

I’m going to answer another ask outside of this post that details this but I’ll answer this one here too. The way me and ayoshi do packs is not like a usual collab (in my opinion I don’t think people collab like this). I am good at making meshes. So usually I make a mesh for something and ayoshi makes a base texture that I can use to finish the base of the top/bottom and then we work together to fix any texture issues. Nothing we’ve made has ever been 100% mine or 100% his except for the hairs. Sometimes a mesh is easy but the texture requires a lot of work so it’s more work for him, sometimes I decide I want to try and texture something (like with this AxA I made textures for some of the clothes) and then ayoshi will clean the texture up for me and add some shading for me. So it’s a lot different than what I imagine most collabs are. But I love the way me and him work together and the ability to change something I don’t like because it isn’t just his, it’s ours. 

Anonymous said: I'm so excited for your new AxA collab that female hair is stunning!!

Anonymous said: I s2g if it werent for your cc my sims would just have to walk around naked lmao you literally make the game playable for me, so thank you ❤❤❤❤❤

thank you!!! Assuming the 2nd ask is about AxA too because that’s the only time I make clothes lmao. Excited for you guys to see everything this week. 

Anonymous said: Do you know anyone who recolours your hairs? They’re so gorgeous I’d love to see them in more colours! Xx

I usually reblog recolors of my hair at @aharris00britneyrecolors​.

Anonymous said: I'm a sucker for your sim Bella. Every time I see Bella as your hair models, I click and download

Anonymous said: Hi, sorry to bother, are you planning on uploading your Bella Sim Anytime soon? Love your content!

Bella is a queen, she’s a streamer in my game at the AH00B house. I don’t think I’m going to upload my Sims anymore though :( I have a ton of sliders and presets in my game and I have no idea which ones I use. I have 3 of the ones I know I use listed on my resource page but there are so many more and I don’t want to share them and they be broken in peoples games.

Anonymous said: will there be an axa this year im in desperate need of new clothes for my sims :(

I got this a few days ago before the teaser came out which I thought was funny fvghb yes there will be one

@lysssimpatico​ said: I was wondering if you might consider making the Elli hair have ombre accessory options. There aren't any cute curly ponytail ombres anywhere!

I think I tried making an ombre accessory for it when I made the hair and it didn’t fully work with the way I changed the UV maps. I’m sorry :(

Anonymous said: why the HELL is your dog so cute lemme have her please

Right? She’s an angel omg my dad is watching her while my foot heals but I miss her so much fghvbj 

Anonymous said: Your Daphne hair is so cute!!

thank you! 

Anonymous said: I have the feeling everyone knows what kind of Supernatural they would be if they were one, so what's yours?

I think I would want to be a ghost so i could fuck with people ya

Anonymous said: Does the Natilie hair need to be updated?

Nope, all the updated stuff is in my post that lists all the updated content off. Everything on my download page is up to date.

Anonymous said: Hi im just submitting an idea if you want to - i love your melanie hair and i was wondering if its possible to remove the accessory on it? im sorry if im bothering you im new to all this hope you have a nice day!!

hey :) I am pretty sure someone had to have made a hair similar to that already as it’s just the university ponytail with new ponytail on it. If not I could look into doing it sometime in the future. 

Anonymous said:I LOVE U 😍

and i love u

Anonymous said: Do you know if there’s any hair accessories (like ones that change the color of it) that work with your Elli Hair? ❤️

It comes with an accessory that changes the elastic :)

Anonymous said: Hellooo! first of all, how are you? how´s your day? i´m sorry but, do you know if someone makes maxis match hairs based in kpop videos? I´m searching for that bull all i can find is alpha hair and i´m not into alpha cc :( Thank you very much! have a great day!

I’m not sure if there are people that specifically only do that but I think there are a handful of creators that get inspired from kpop/music videos and make hairs similar to that. Cause we use EA meshes most of the time the hairs aren’t going to look exactly like the inspiration though. Like I have two hairs that are based off Go Won from loona (Go Won hair and Kelsey Hair) but i don’t think you can tell that just from looking at them. 

Anonymous said: I downloaded the new version of the sydnie braids but my game says they're corrupted and won't let me play with them in my mods folder

try to redownload and they should work, I haven’t had any other issues. 

Anonymous said: hey, i was just wondering whether you did or are thinking of doing eyelashes at any point

I am not lmao I don’t think I would be able to make my own eyelashes

Anonymous said: you are incredibly prolific. constantly amazed and delighted by your high-quality work. have a good day king

thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: aaaahh I know this is probably a long shot but I was wondering if you had the quartz eyes psd? I've been trying to find it but all of the links I've stumbled onto are dead :( thank you in advance!! ♥️ and no problem if you don't have it or can't share it :)

here is a link to a post that has the PSD

Anonymous said: the mica hair looks so cute 🥺 you’re amazing

thank you! It’s named after the main singer from Magdalena Bay ;n; i love them

@whendowestopcaring​ said: I love, love, love your work!! + your blog, aesthetic, etc. Keep it up!

thank you!!!! pink and blue all the way bb

@marsupialmother​ said: Not an ask, just a comment. All you stuff is so beautiful. Thank you for being such an amazing creator!!!

no, thank you for sending me this! I appreciate it a ton <3 have a wonderful day

Anonymous said: How long have you been creating CCs for?

I recolored a get together cardigan in Dec 2015 and started making hair in November of 2016 to promote Britney Spears lmao. So around 4-5 years. 

Anonymous said: hi!! just wanted to say i love the item index download option! thank you for your awesome cc and organization :)

You’re welcome! item indexes make things so much easier I agree, happy to help simplify things for downloaders. also they look nice so that’s a plus for me. 

Anonymous said: i love your cc, they are really beautiful but can you do more male hair cc? im just asking

I prefer doing female stuff tbh, I feel like I’m better at it and I get more ideas. But i did 4 male hairs in this upcoming AxA 2020 pack and a bunch of male clothes. I’m sorry I can’t do more :( I just don’t get inspired to make much male stuff personally.

Anonymous said: what happened to Ayoshi???

he’s in the basement working on AxA, don’t ask.  he actually just doesn’t like being on Simblr anymore but still likes making CC with me, so we just make cc on call sometimes when we get bored of a game we’re playing. he sends his regards from the basement of AH00B studios <3

Anonymous said: hello i love all your cc and you’re my favorite creator, i have a question, are you planning to make some more clothes anytime soon?

getting these while working on AxA was so funny because there are like 80 new clothes for male/female sims in it and i was like... these people don’t know what they have coming their way. thank you!

Anonymous said: 💃 How you make all your item index for your pack and collab? 💃

I make mine in Word using tables and then save as PDF. Here’s a peak at the AxA 2020 one

Anonymous said: am i on drugs or have u uploaded an eco lifestyle kids dress conversion? i remember seeing it so vividly, (the zip up kids dress), but maybe it was another creator... lol

I think that was from grimcookies! Here is a link to his eco lifestyle add on set that he made. 

Anonymous said: would you happen to know how to get rid of the weird gloss that can be on some cc hairs?

if you download Sims4Studio and open the package you can make the specular blank but that could cause issues in your game if you play on certain graphic settings. So do it with caution. 

Anonymous said: Awww we have very similar life aspirations, I just want a boring/calm life, settle down with a wife (I'm a lesbian) and become an lit teacher.

yup yup boring lifes are where it’s at. Like i just want something simple lmao if I wanted exciting I wouldn’t do teaching. 

Anonymous said: hi! i hope youre doing well! could you please tell me wcif the two toned jeans on the sim in your eco lifestyle addon collection?

They’re in AxA 2020! We have had so much of the stuff done for a while so i’ve been using it in previews for a while lmao. 

Anonymous said: WAIT is the Love Bomb palette named after the Fromis_9 song???

yessss ayoshi is their #1 fan

Tips on creating fun fanfic headers!

i had so much fun writing the fanfic writing tips yesterday and i got a few more questions about header-making, and so i decided to make one more of these! i hope these tips help somebody out there! hope you enjoy :) 

p.s. these tips won’t require any hard editing skills or photoshop skills, nor any expensive tablets/apps! 

typically i spend around ~5-10 min creating one header, and that’s either after i think of/finish a fic. i have so much fun doing it and sharing it with you that i figured i’d share how i do it! 

why headers? 

as I talked about in my fic tips, one of the most eye-catching things about fics are headers. when i’m scrolling through a rec page, my home page, a tag, or even someone’s masterlist, i’m immediately drawn to well-made headers. that’s what captures my attention, and then i’m more drawn in by the content. so, you can say that headers is your own version of an ad for your own fic, or an extension of it (like the cover of a novel!) 

if you were writing your own book, imagine how much time you’d spend figuring out what you wanted your cover to look like. i try to have as much fun and invest as much time making my own headers because it’s just the cherry on top to my finished product :) 

disclaimer: BUT HEADERS ARE NOT NECESSARY/DO OR DIE! if you don’t feel like you want to do this, then keep writing! its ok! this is just a suggestion. i’ve seen plenty of well-written fics without headers at all, so don’t beat yourself up over not having one/not wanting to do one. this is truly just a fun, extra kind of thing, and only keep reading if you want to learn how i do it! :) 

tips for people who don’t want to make headers: if you still want something to make your fic stand out, use gifs! i use them in my drabbles a lot! this will at least give ur fic a lil boost! 

how to find pictures

I typically use unsplash, which is a free website in which photographers upload their HQ pics for free use. the pics are really high quality, typically stock photos, and don’t have any logos on them like other ones on google. unfortunately, you won’t find any pics of the members or anything, but you’ll find beautiful stock photos of typical scenes like “ocean scene” or “desert scene.” I found the stock photo for cut me open (shown below) on that site by just looking up “medical” or “doctor”. 

i used to use google a lot and just use keywords like “desert scene HQ” and edit the search settings to deliver HQ pics, and a minimum # of pixels, but unplash is definitely better in terms of quality, more aesthetic photos, and no logos/watermarks. 

on some occasions, i will screenshot some scenes of youtube videos, turning up the quality to 1080p or 4k and zooming in so that the pixelation is as crisp as possible, and then editing it later to look good (which i’ll explain in a second!) 

the above photo was a scene from the specific characters from the drama, “100 Days My Prince” that I screenshotted from a youtube video that TvN uploaded, recapping the drama. I cropped it just right so that their faces were left out, which i’ll also mention soon! 

things to look for when picking pictures: 

you want the picture to reflect a specific motif/theme from your fic! if its a moody fic, then try to find a moody scene that you can edit with filters/lighting to look even moodier; or if the characters’ jobs are a big portion of the fic (like cut me open/doctor theme) try to look for stock photos with that shown very clearly!

make sure its high quality: tumblr really dumbs down the quality of the photo when uploading it, so try your best to find something with a lot of pixels in it so that when you start editing, you don’t sacrifice too much of the quality already

try to look for something simple/clean: a picture with too much subject (ie. people in the background, or too much detail) may end up taking away from the main point of your header, which is your title. so find pics without too much clutter! 

try to make sure its landscape: which will help during editing to save some of the quality better. 

editing your pictures

now that you have a specific photo you want to use, now its time to edit! I use VSCO CAM (free app) and my own apple photos cropping tool for faster crops. 

crop/adjust: if your picture is too large/wide, crop it to at least a 16:9 ratio. i’d say aim for skinnier if you can, so that you don’t take up too much space (especially if you’re planning to add headers to your masterlist). also crop out any faces, any clutter, any unnecessary details, so you have a nice, clean slate to work on when adding text. 

contrast/sharpen/clarity/white balance/etc.: i’m not gonna give you a lesson on photography, but i’ll tell you I learned like 80% of everything that i know just by fiddling with it on VSCO! So just try it out and play with the app, see what you can make of it. i’d say a rule of thumb to follow is that you want happier fics with a brighter tone, and moodier/angsty fics with a darker tone so that it can reflect the nature of the fic further, without saying anything! 

if you wanna be extra af like me, then go a step further and photoshop your pics. this one is a good example; when i screenshotted this scene from another youtube video for my fic One Year My Love part 2, i was specifically looking for a scene that would showcase the ornate/regal details of their clothing/environment in contrast to part 1′s modest clothing/scene (the first header in this post). 

i found this scene, but actually, this scene portrays the Crown Prince and the Princess, not y/n. So, the actors weren’t smiling at all! They were actually frowning at eachother in this scene, to portray the tension between the two characters and their marriage. 

So, I took the extra step, adjusting the pic with VSCO so that their shoulders/chins were at the same level, cropped off their faces up until their lips, and then used the adobe photoshop free app to photoshop their lips to be SMILING at eachother!!!! subtle, but important! 

call me crazy for taking that much time but i’m so proud of how it turned out and i loved every second of making this one. that way, this scene makes it portray the happy ending for Jungkook and y/n! 

adding text to your header

you can use any app out there, but i really like Font Candy! I actually ended up buying the 2$ version of this and never regretted it, but you can actually find a lot of their basic fonts on the free version; I tend to use the fonts: OSTRICH SANS, BEBAS, TREND, and INTRO the most! these are pretty clean-looking, block letters that look good whenever i put them as my titles. 

I love this app too cause you can easily control the spacing between letters to make them take up more space, add shadows, or even make them contrast their background using the overlay feature; like this one i made for wildest dreams (see how the text changes depending on what part of the photo its on? amazing! it’s literally with a click of a button!!)

And i’ll always add “written by HAYJEON” or “by HAYEJON”, space it out, and add it somewhere underneath as my own branding.

orrrrrr 

if you want to be more creative, you can even go a step further and use whatever you have on hand to enhance whatever you’re trying to portray. 

for this one, i ended up finding this amazing photo on unsplash and i thought it would do a create job of portraying the “movie-set” quality of what wildest dreams is going to be about. this stock photo had someone else’s names on it, so i used my ipad, and used instagram to just erase the existing writing with the color of the background, and then wrote in my own title and url with my own handwriting/apple pen!!! 

i thought this was pretty cool because it’s like wildest dreams is its own movie/has its own movie set, which, once it’s out, you guys will see that it’s supposed to be! 

saving/uploading

this is pretty easy/obvious, but i figured i’d mention it. all the apps i mentioned are available on the appstore, and they will save directly to your photos. after doing that, i’ll just upload them into a special folder i have on my google drive so that when i’m finished writing a fic on tumblr using my laptop, i can easily download the photos without sacrificing quality. easy! 

and that way, i can save them forever; even if i have to delete them from my computer, i can always redownload them! 

side note: making text separators

i just recently started doing this, but ever since tumblr took down their text separators, i’ve just been cropping the bottom like 5-10 pixels of the header to use as my text separators! (with my laptop)

i saw some other writer doing it and thought that it looked better than what i had used previously (a cropped photo of a random line i found on google); i found that doing this tied my fics together a little better and just looked better aesthetically; 

so there it is! hope you enjoyed! :) i would love to see what other tips you guys have been using, feel free to send me an ask or reply to this post; and if you end up using any of my tips, please let me know! I love to hear from you guys all the time <3 

lots of love, especially during these times, 

hay <3 

Hi again! I apologize if this is a silly question or if it’s been answered before, but would you be able to provide a tutorial or tips on how you set up your performance macros? If you have any resources for it, that would be super helpful. Thanks again! 💖

Hello there!

This is not a silly question at all, and we’ve not had it asked before here, so we definitely don’t mind trying to answer- though before we do, we’d just like to say that there are many different ways to approach performing, not only what we’ll mention, and each have pros and cons, so we encourage you to explore and find one that suits you and your character best. Perhaps our followers can add to this post and add their approaches and experiences?

We mostly focus on timed musical macros. Let’s try to break this down.

1. Music streaming:The idea is to have the emotes run at the same time as the music. For this, you’ll need an account on a video synchronizing site, such as cytube or plug dj for example, which make sure the video is starting at the same time for everyone. Both of these sites are free, and there are others as well - we encourage you to have a look which fits your needs better.Tip: Whatever you use, turn the quality of the video to the lowest possible when performing, and encourage others to do so; makes for less delay!

2. Lyric timing:Once you have the song and the sync streaming sorted, it’s time to bunker down and get to coding. This might be a lengthy process, so try to reserve some time for this. Get your video up and open a text inserting programs such as notepad, or google docs. Listen closely to your lyrics and write down at exactly which second they come up.Example:

Tip: If there are big instrumental breaks, you can try to make notes of those too!Tip2: If you’re not using Google Docs; SAVE the file. Speaking as someone who lost macros and hours of work due to not saving… XD

3. Macro coding:Once you’ve got the timestamp of everything down, it’s time to format the lyrics into the FFXIV macro system. This is a step that has many approaches to it, of course, and many commands can be used. You can see all the commands FFXIV supports here.Essentially though, you’ll want to add a /y command before every line you wish your character to sing, and round the line up with a “wait” command in order to tell the macro how long you wish of it to wait before sending the next command line out. This is what you needed the timestamps for!Example:

You can now delete the timestamps and everything before the “/” symbol. And save again.Tip: /y or /yell lines get repressed if they’re less than 2 seconds apart, so be mindful of that when coding and combine lines if you have to.Tip2: Wait timers can go as low as or 0.25 seconds but depending on ping, venue complexity or crowd size, they tend to round up or down to a full second. So, for versatility issues, we suggest you stick to full seconds if possible.Tip3: A good thing to keep in mind is to replace lyrics where they don’t fit the FFXIV universe. Minutes are measures, hours are bells, days are suns, inches are ilms, miles are malms etc.

4: Macro making:It is finally time to paste your hard work into the game. To do this, you will need to open the “System” menu and choose “User Macros”.

You’ll see a panel with a lot of numbers. Choose a free one and paste the code you made into the big field. You can choose an icon and add a name that will help you remember when to press it during the song:

Tip: Each macro has only 15 lines. You will want to later add emotes between your lyrics which will take a line of their own each, so I suggest not pasting more than 7 lyric lines in each macro.Tip2: Number your macros in sequence, makes them easier to follow!Tip3: The most important macro you’ll ever make is the macro that cancels other macros. This is your go-to “oh shit” button. It looks like this:

Essentially, any macro will cancel other macros, but this one has a non-showing command that will just stop the macro currently running. You might need this if you accidentally press a macro you didn’t mean to press. Macros aren’t emotes so… they’ll just keep going until they’re either done or cancelled so this one is super important! So much so that I have it at the ready at all times.

5. Timing Testing:Once you have all the lyrics in their respective macros, click the macro icons on the left and drag them onto a clear skill bar to make things easier for yourself. It should look something like:

Now, load your song in a prefered sync streaming service that you made in step 1, find a secluded spot (FC room, apartment, barracks etc) and try to press your macros to the song, testing if your timing needs adjustments. There might be some loading issues or half seconds you’ll wish to round up or down? This is the “tweak until satisfied” part.Tip: Keep your Cancel Macro at the ready to stop the macro if you notice it needs adjustments.Tip2: Macro changes save automatically as soon as you click away from them, so make sure you click away before retrying it.

6: Emotes:This is the creative part, but one with a bit of a learning curve - one that gets easier as you go. Take your time familiarizing yourself with how the emotes look and how long they are. You can add emotes to specific lyrics in a row before the lyric, like so:

There are other ways to format to achieve the same result, of course. Fiddle around with emotes and try them to the music until you like the result.Tip: Let your fantasy go wild! Check all the commands supported and go wild! Experiment and try new things.

7: Preparations and performing:Your first few macros might take some practice to get right, so make sure you’re feeling confident you can run them okay. Stage fright is, even behind a screen to shield you, still, a butterfly-inducing experience that, in many cases, never goes away. Take your time, perhaps turn your camera to face your character as you practice so that, when you perform and do the same you won’t see the audience and it might make you less nervous.Tip: Drag an emote of your choice on your bar as well to have it handy. We all mess up, perhaps forget to press a macro or press the wrong one. If that happens - don’t panic. Just click Cancel Macro (told you it’s a life saver!) and press your emote of choice. You’ll catch up on the next macro and it’s going to be okay, I promise. Most people don’t even notice, but if they do; no one will judge you for messing up or being nervous, we’ve all been there!

8: Macro Archiving:Computers crash, need to be formatted, or maybe you just need to use a different computer - so it is a good idea to save macros externally from the game not to lose them. This is where Google Docs, Dropbox or a private discord server might come in handy!Tip: Another way to save your macros is to upload your character to the server every time after you’ve finished a macro, but the more versions of the saved macro you have, the less of a chance to lose hours, if not days of hard work.

9: Take care of yourself!Whether you’re macroing, practising or performing; they’re all tasks that can take a long time. Don’t forget to keep hydrated, fix your posture and rest enough (tips I need to remember too…)!

I think that’s the gist of it? If anyone would like to add tips, please do as I’m sure I didn’t cover everything… but I hope this helps you, friend. Happy macroing, I can’t wait to see what you make!

Stay lucky! 🍀 ♥Inay @x-inay

PS: I wrote “speker” lol… I was in a hurry, try not to judge me… so here’s a tip #10 for the rest of you dyslexics out there macroing; have a friend proofread! ♥

Crazy Little Things Called Love - Part six

Summary: Freddie Mercury said it first. “This thing called love, I just can’t handle it.” In this story we get to know Jensen and (Y/N), two humans that have to learn, that despite their brain, they can’t outrun their heart. When a smiliar friend of them, Jared, introduces the two, sparks fly. They understand each other better than anyone, so it’s no surprise the two eventually end up in bed together. Only condition - No feelings. Neither of them is the relationship person, and neither of them is ready to act on their emotions. So what happens when out of one night, another one follows, and they have to learn that they can’t live without the other? Will they stop being so stubborn and admit their feelings? Or will it be too late when one finally has the balls to do it?

Prologue / Part one / Part two / Part three / Part four / Part five

“Please, welcome on stage, the amazingly talented (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!”

Jensen clapped his hands and whistled as (Y/N) walked on stage, waving to the small audience there was. The band who played before her, the Royals, were a good rock band, and Jensen really enjoyed the music and the atmosphere there was in the club. But he still couldn’t wait until (Y/N) was called on stage to perform. This was a bigger location, with more fans and better technic for quality.

“Good evening everyone! How are you doing?”

Loud screams were the only answer (Y/N) received. Jensen could see the buzz she felt on that stage, and just how comfortable she really felt. She smiled and laughed, as if there was nothing in this world that could bring her down. And maybe there wasn’t. Maybe this was her thing, her safe place, and when she was up there, nothing could ruin her mood.

Her smile was breathtaking, and for a moment he actually thought about their agreement. What if that wouldn’t be enough for him at some point? What if he wanted more, despite what he said? (Y/N) was a woman men could only dream about, and he had the chance to be with her. More than anyone.

“This next song is a cover, and the boys and I will upload our version to YouTube as well, but for now, sing along if you now the words! This is We Don’t Talk Anymore by Selena Gomez and Charlie Puth!”

Song-Version

The more they sang, the more Jensen started to dislike the lead singer. He was all over (Y/N), touching her and laughing throughout the song, and she didn’t seem to mind. They were just messing around, dancing together and making faces, and Jensen clenched his fists to try and stay calm. They sounded amazing together, he had to admit that, but he just wanted to punch the guys face and mark his territory. (Y/N) was his, and he would make sure she would be more than just his friend with benefits.

(Y/N) and the Royals performed another few songs together before they left the stage and it was (Y/N) turn to go through her set list. She sung the same songs she sang when they first met, but added a few covers here and there to get the audience going. Her Favourites seemed to be Jessie J, Demi Lovato and Christina Aguilera, all singers with similar voices like hers.

Jensen waited next to the stage for her to come out, but to his displeasure, the boys of The Royals exited before her. The lead singer had his arm linked with hers, and was obviously still trying to win her over. As she saw Jensen though, her face lit up in excitement. He hadn’t told her he would be here, he wanted to surprise her. Another thing that may show that his feelings towards her had changed. 

“Jensen! Hi!”

She exclaimed, pushing the singers hand off and running to him. She hugged him tightly, and he gladly reciprocated the hug.

“Guys, this is Jensen, my-“

“Boyfriend. I’m her boyfriend.”

He cut her off before his mind could tell him to stop. What was he thinking? He noticed the confused look (Y/N) gave him, but she gladly decided to play along. She introduced him to the band, whose singer squeezed his hand a lot tighter than necessary. (Y/N) obviously noticed the tension between the two men, but she tried to ignore it to not make the whole thing even more awkward.

“So, since when did we upgrade to the boyfriend-girlfriend thing?”

(Y/N) teased as soon as the band was out of sight. Thanks to the darkness, she couldn’t see the light blush that spread over Jensen’s face as she asked this question.

“I, I don’t know, I didn’t mean to say that. I guess.”

“Really?”

She laughed a little, sensing there was more to the topic than he admitted. What if he was serious? Did she want to be more than just sex buddies?

“Well, no, not really. I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole thing, and I’m not sure if..if this is still enough for me, you know?”

“Wow.”

It was the only thing she could think to say to his words. The Jensen Ackles wanted more? Someone should mark this day in a calendar because she was pretty sure that wouldn’t happen again. Ever.

“Yeah… Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you like this… It’s okay if you do-“

“Stop. Don’t say this now. I will think about it, okay? I can’t give you an answer right now, because I can’t just forget everything I’ve gone through, but… I don’t know - I’ll think about it, alright?”

That was more than Jensen had expected, really. She was ready for her to dump him and break his heart, but he didn’t expect this. This beautiful woman really liked him. It took him a moment to realize her words, and before he could say anything, someone pulled (Y/N) away.

“Come on, they want us on stage again!”

It was Mike, the lead singer. What a surprise.

“Again? All of us?”

She sounded way too excited about this for Jensen’s liking. What was so special about this guy? He wrapped his arm around her waist and she threw hers around his shoulder, squeezing him closer to herself.

“Jensen, is it okay…”

She asked, a little unsure, but he could see the sparkle in her eye. What was he supposed to say? She didn’t know he would even be there; he had no right to take up all of her time now. And in the end, this was her job.

“Yeah, sure. I have some text to learn anyway. I’ll text you, alright?”

That was not the answer she was expecting, and surely not the one she was hoping for. She didn’t want him to leave. She wanted to spend more time with him, maybe go back to his place in the end. But apparently he had other intentions. She should be happy he even came to her show, she shouldn’t want more than she already got. But the weird feeling remained as she followed her Cousin back on stage

Part seven

bts reaction - doing porn together (sub version)

dom version coming soon

Jin

you and jin often thought about filming yourselves fucking, often in an offhand way, but never really considered it because of the logistics

not only did jin have an extremely recognisable face, but the two of you almost always had sex completely on top of each other, not really giving either one of you enough distance to hold a camera and record anything decent

you joked one day that the only way would be to take turns at filming each other getting off, and jin latched on to it with a passion you weren’t expecting

so the two of you decided to make an account, not expecting much, and first you filmed a video of jin’s crotch and lower torso as he jacked off

unable to control your domme side, you scooted a little closer and stretched your legs out until you were pinning him down with them, zooming out a little to catch the way he writhed around and whined under the pressure of your hold, hand speeding up impossibly until he was spilling all over his hand

the two of you later had the awkward job of meticulously going through and putting a black bar over where his face was shown, since you pushing him down gave the camera a perfect shot of his face from his jaw up, but once it was uploaded, the views grew pretty steadily

next it was your turn, but instead of just getting yourself off as he filmed, you decided you might as well use all the tools at your disposal

which meant him trying to muffle his groans and keep his hands steady as you rode him for your own release, with one hand on his chest and the other rubbing at your clit

the video ended with you cumming just as jin was close, and pulling away from him and grabbing onto the base of his cock before he can reach his own end

his desperate moans when you deny him an orgasm are now your new favorite sound, and the viewers seem to love them too

Yoongi

when it comes to subbing, yoongi really lets his yoonji persona take over

for him, there’s something so liberating about dressing up in feminine clothes

a lot of the time in his public life, he feels kind of tied to the strong, aggressive, more masculine sides of himself, like agust d

so it becomes almost pavlovian to finally let go when he puts on his costumes

white stockings, skirts, lacy underwear that’s so small the tip of his cock sticks out the edge

letting you take over and take care of him while he’s in that mindspace is addictive

it’s your idea to shoot porn together; you hate taking money from him even though he has plenty, so you wanted to earn something for yourself - i.e. filming him from the chest-down as you dom him

normally he’d be hesitant, but with the assurance that it’s so far removed from his image that nobody would think it would be him, he decides to give it One Try Only

your first video is shot from your phone as you tease him mercilessly with a vibrator for fifteen minutes, only to make him come untouched

the camera quality is shit and your hand was shaky but it got onto the trending page of the site you put it into somehow and started churning out some serious numbers

yoongi didn’t care about those numbers, but what he did care about were the comments, and since then, he was hooked

you’d shoot videos often, but saved them up to post regularly so that there weren’t massive gaps when he was on tour

often you’d wake up at three in the morning to see his face lit up with a cool-toned wash from his phone, trawling through comments of your latest video

“hey baby, cumguzzler98 said they liked the plug we used yesterday, the one that vibrated”

“mhm, go to sleep please yoongs”

“so i was thinking next time we should get a size up, i bet cumguzzler98 would like that”

“yoongi, if you say cumguzzler98 one more time i’m not touching your dick for a month”

“.......goodnight baby, i love you”

yoongi once confessed to you that when he went on tour and felt lonely, he’d watch one of your videos and relive it, and it would feel like you were there with him, taking care of him like he wished you were

unfortunately namjoon caught him once, without realizing that it was actually yoongi in the video, and now makes a weird point of sending yoongi recommendations when they go on tour

Hoseok

hoseok has always been one to like a little more aggression in the bedroom

and while he loves the idea of you two filming something, that aggression is what concerns him

you two aren’t exactly staying in one position the whole time, so it wouldn’t be easy to frame a shot that blocked your faces, especially since hoseok loves when you manhandle him and throw him around the place in different positions as you please

so the idea came up and went away pretty quickly

but for his birthday, after all the public celebrations, you two are lying in bed and you present him with an additional gift

a stretchy lace band, similar to a blindfold but wide enough to cover his face from his forehead to the cleft of his chin

he takes it for a test run a couple times before he accepts, but you can tell that he loves the way it restricts his vision and his breathing just enough to heighten every other sensation

you yourself wear a simple band of black silk across your face with gaps for the eyes, and within a week, you’ve set up an account on an amateur sight

for hoseok, the enjoyment in filming porn isn’t really the videos doing really well, but just the fact that people could see him being wrecked by you in the most delicious ways

however, the thrill of an audience has made you a little trigger happy a few times, and hoseok has had to get the make-up stylists to cover up a few red streaks and bruises that aren’t covered up by clothing

not that hoseok would complain. after all, he loves it when you get that way

the two of you do the odd livestream every now and again, since it has a tipping function which the normal uploading doesn’t have, and hoseok swears he never comes as hard as he does on those occasions

hearing you read comments out loud to him, one filthy insult after another in time of your spanks raining down on his ass, gets him hard like nothing else

and you always make sure to take extra good care of him after the stream ends, the two of you cuddling peacefully on the couch with steaming mugs of hot chocolate and a sleeve of biscuits between you

hoseok is always twice as energetic and bouncy the day after a shoot, even if maybe he’s a little achy

Namjoon

for namjoon, the joy of subbing is that for once in his life, all pressure is lifted off of him

he doesn’t have to make decisions or be responsible and aware of others relying on him

that’s why his favorite playtimes always involve sensory deprivation and/or bondage

being put into a space where you make all the choices and all he can do is sit there and really feel it

your journey into porn starts off with you taking pictures of him tied up to show him later how pretty he is like that

soon enough, his appetite grows, and he wants you to film little clips that he can take with him when he’s away from you, hoping that the visual could put him in that mindspace so that he could jack off and relax amongst the stress of promotions and tours

you comment offhand one day that it’s a shame you were the only one who got to hear his moans

he goes rigid and quietly suggests that maybe you didn’t have to be the only one

of course, namjoon is a leader of a internationally recognised pop group, so he realizes it’s not wise to have footage of himself like that online

mistakes can happen, and he doesn’t want a fan recognizing a mole of his or something small like that, and then his reputation being ruined

he points out to you audio is a lot harder to connect to someone

for a couple weeks or so, you convert your little videos to mp3s and upload them as audio files

they do well, but soon you realize the problem is that in the moment you were too focussed on the visual that the audio isn’t that descriptive

so of course, being the good girlfriend you are, you propose recording new audio

this time, namjoon’s bound to a chair with his legs open so that the microphone you bought could rest on the table beside him, and you haven’t gagged him like you often do

he’s got a blindfold on, and you’ve been teasing him for over an hour before you start recording

you make an effort to describe what you were doing to him, and namjoon was louder than he ever had been before, letting himself shout in pleasure rather than just sighing

the audio performs a lot better, and the two of you become a little addicted to uploading new ones semi-regularly, always with a different combination of toys and methods to keep it fresh

Jimin

jimin’s always been a sucker for praise

in the bedroom, it’s still there but it sometimes comes out a different way

it starts off with him wanting you to film him as you finger him open, so that he can see how much of a good boy he was for you

the two of you go through a slight rough patch when he’s convinced that you’re only telling him these nice things because you love him, and you don’t really mean it

so you’re solution is to film some videos of him and post them online, letting him see the whole world agree with you

jimin quickly becomes obsessed with the numbers, and starts to ask you for more and more

one day it’s your fingers spreading him open, the next it’s glass anal beads, and soon enough a million viewers a pop are watching you fuck him with a strapon

he’s unbelievably noisy on those days, and it’s a wonder your apartment neighbors haven’t complained, and one day he’s almost screaming, so you freak out and shove two fingers in his mouth, pushing down on the root of his tongue

of course the viewers can’t see anything above his shoulder blades, but the sound of him choking around uncontrollable moans sends them crazy

jimin is strutting around in high spirits for days after that video, and he keeps begging you to film more of him

he says he’s happy to cover most of his face with a blindfold or something, but he’s worried they’ll get sick of just seeing his ass all the time

you insist you’ve seen his gorgeous ass every day for years now and you’re not sick of it yet, but he’s unconvinced

finally, you give in, and film a longer video in which he sucks off the strap-on as you’re wearing it before you fuck him with it

you’d never admit it to him, but the night you uploaded it you didn’t get a wink of sleep, too scared that some horny ARMY would recognise his gorgeous lips stretched around the silicon, and make the connection

luckily, no one did, and so it became the norm to shoot videos of his entire body writhing beneath you, with a blindfold and usually a face mask too keeping his identity a secret

Taehyung

taehyung always had a bad habit of taking photos and videos of you two during sex

most of the time you’d catch him, slap his dick around a little as a punishment and continue on

taehyung had become a little too fond of the punishment and so he was being a lot more overt about it in more recent times, so you decided to take things to another level

“you’ll feel sorry for that later” you whispered into his ear at the time

that night, you sent him a link while he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth

you grinned as you heard him choke and start spitting out toothpaste before calling out your name in shock

you’d uploaded a video onto a well-known porn site of the two of you, one where you had started jerking him off beneath his pants when you two were watching a movie and he had decided to film it

neither of your faces were in it, of course you had made sure of that, but the delicious sounds of his sighs and breathy moans echoed in the room through his phone’s speakers

he ignored you for a day or so, sulking away, but you saw him go back and check the page several times, clearly reading through to see what everyone had to say

and then, that night before bed, he wound his legs around yours and asked quietly if you’d do it again

since then, you had developed a routine of him filming the two of you, and you screening them to make sure they were anonymous and uploading them

taehyung didn’t like a lot of the heavier kinks like degradation or bondage, but he loved nothing better than to let you take control

often he’d lie down with his back to your chest and you’d hold him down with one arm across his chest as you jerked him off, slower than he’d like, but leading towards a powerful orgasm

occasionally there’d be videos taken from him as he sat on the couch while you rode him

he did have a bad habit of forgoing filming the actual action to just zoom in on your tits, and many a time you would tug on his hair to remind him to lower the camera, only to delight in the little grunt he’d involuntarily give out

although he was the sub, you two were really partners when it came to the videos, so you always gave him the freedom to be the one filming

Jungkook

jungkook loves acting out to get punished

everyone knows him as the golden maknae, and he certainly lives up to the nickname in the bedroom too, but often when you’re tired and wanting him to take control he’ll sloppily eat you out or take his sweet time fucking you, just so that you’ll get fed up and take over, showing him how it should be done

even though he’s the director of the couple, you were the first one to bring cameras into the bedroom

he was being bratty in every regard, and so you shoved him away from between your legs and walked out, commanding him to stay where he was until you returned

he had disobeyed you and started jerking off when you got back, which riled you up even more, and you took his expensive digital camera in one hand and a fistful of hair in the other and shoved his face into your pussy as you filmed, talking about how this might give him a reminder that if he wouldn’t do as you asked, you’d just take what you wanted from him

he watched the video obsessively for almost a month before he asked you if you’d want to do it again

he joked that you could make your own GCFs - golden cunt films

(you didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day after that godawful line)

he even promised that he’d behave if you let him get out the camera again, so you agreed

for a while he fucked you like you wanted, and you two did the old cam couple circuit, but after five or six videos he got bored, and decided it was time to act up again

because you couldn’t show his face on camera, you settled for grabbing it off him, pushing him onto his back and jacking him off at your fastest pace

he let himself relax, assuming you were just taking control to take care of him, but your punishment came in the form of you not letting up your brutal strokes, even after he had dirtied your hand with his cum

that video of you making him come twice in a row instantly became your most successful, and after that night jungkook asked you to dom him in all of the videos

you agreed on the condition that you’d never tell him what you had planned for a video until it was time to shoot, and that he had to sit there and take it unless he wanted to use his safe word

and while he may have been a brat, he was a good boy at heart, and the two of you had never tried out so many toys and kinks before then

Thoughts on House of X #5

Time for the issue where HoX/PoX horniness kicked off!

Society Comma We Live in One:

Time to talk about an issue that definitely merited the coverted red issue status. The issue starts with Magneto and Polaris having a dialogue on society that comes off as a bit writerly, more about Hickman creating an opportunity for him to talk about his ideas about society than what Magneto and Polaris would actually be saying to one another (unless Polaris just arrived on Krakoa and is being given the tour, but that doesn’t quit fit her dialogue).

To start with, Magneto is making an argument that “the one good thing humanity taught us was society,” but attaches this to the concept of human beings shifting from settler-gatherer to agrarian cultures. Notably, in Magneto’s version, this shift also has implications for national identity, what with the whole “this is a good place - it is...ours, and from this land we will not be moved.” 

At the same time, it would be highly inaccurate to suggest that hunter-gatherer cultures don’t have societies or engage in (what Magneto is really getting at here) cooperation. The main difference between hunter-gatherer and agrarian modes of cooperation is that, by creating substantial surpluses that allow more people to not engage in food production, the agrarian mode enables a new form of cooperation based on specialization.

All of this applies pretty directly to Krakoa and the resurrection ceremony that Magneto and Polaris are witnessing: as long as mutantdom was constantly fighting for survival (the time when “the greatest necessary traits in mutantdom” would be “strength and aggressiveness”), it was essentially stuck in a hunter-gatherer paradigm. But once mutantdom established themselves on Krakoa, “intelligence, ingenuity, and creativity” started to come to the fore: the Krakoan flowers and medications, Doug’s interface and the resulting Krakoan systems, KASA, Cerebro, and now a new one. Contrary to certain implications from the Librarian in Powers of X #6, rather than simply relying on their “natural” mutant powers, Krakoan society is technologizing them. 

The “Five” are a great example of this process at work. I’ll get more in detail on how this particular Krakoan biomachinery works when we get to the infographic (which brings together all of the information into one place), but there’s some more subtle details at work here:

I love how the (Fab) Five’s social/cultural status is prefigured by their on-page introduction, which looks like nothing so much as the slow-motion group shot from Resevoir Dogs combined with a supergroup pose complete with spotlights.

As many people have pointed out, Hickman’s reinterpretation of Goldballs’ “seemingly benign and pointless power” shows how a different social and technological context completely changes the way we think about the value of different x-genes. 

As someone who’s spent their fair share of time studying the history of science, I do like how much the Five’s introduction re-emphasizes themes of cooperation and specialization rather than the Lone Genius myth: even with Goldballs’ limitless “eggs,” he still needs Proteus to make the eggs viable, and so on and so forth. As Magneto puts it, ““separate...they are great mutants, but only significant, not transcendant. Together..."

An interesting commonality in Krakoan biotechnology is the use of psychics and other mutants - in this case, Hope plays a similar role to the Cuckoos in KASA - to allow the group to work in unison without the need for the literal hiveminds of the machine consciousness. Something to keep one’s eye on.  

At the same time, the Five’s biomachine relies on two other forms of technology of varying levels of technology. As the red diamond on the syringe confirms, Mister Sinister provides the DNA to grow the husks and (and this is one of the Big Reveals of the issue) Cerebro downloads the mind into the body. 

Playing her role in the Socratic dialogue admirably, Lorna raises the vital question of whether these clones are “just their bodies...not them.” What’s really interesting about Magneto’s response is that he’s not just talking about downloading the mind of the mutant, but also “the essence..the anima...[the] soul” of the mutant, which implies a pretty strongly spiritual conception of Cerebro’s primary purpose. (It’s an interestingly monist approach to the question of the soul as a form of data that can be copied, uploaded, downloaded, etc. I wonder what Nightcrawler thinks of this?)

Xavier’s statement that “even knowing I could bring you back...a part of me dies when any of you do” really backs up what I was talking about re: Xavier’s motivation for changing his worldview. Resurrection doesn’t change the emotional impact of death, especially since the system requires Xavier to be psychically linked to the X-Men he’s sending into harm’s way, so that he’s experiencing all their pain and suffering. This also reads quite differently in the wake of Powers of X #6, because it suggests that (quite aside from his broader plans for Krakoa), Xavier’s shift to being even more of a pragmatist has a lot to do with years of compounding trauma.

BTW, a clear sign that there is a high degree of continuity of consciousness going on is that Scott’s first thought after being resurrected is “did it work?” For all intents and purpsoes, this is the Scott Summers who died on Sol’s Forge.

We See Them, Do We Know Them?

I’m going to take this opportuntity to get on my high horse for a second and take parts of the X-fandom to task. While I wouldn’t go so far as to accuse anyone of arguing in bad faith, I do think there has been a tendency to not grapple with the text in an honest way when it comes to certain characters or themes, with the Resurrection Ceremony as Exhibit A in this tendency.

Rather than being about cults or nakedness (more on both of those soon), what this scene is actually about is the coming together of the foundational aspects of Krakoan society/culture, and how two groups of heroes - the five and the strike team - will be treated in this new world. 

As we might expect, there are both parallels and differences in how the Krakoan masses treat and are expected to treat these groups: as we’ll learn later from the Resurrection Infographic, the Five are “universally revered...as cultural paragons [something sacred to be treasured].” 

Storm’s exhortation provides the text that is supposed to shape and give purpose to this popular attitude, that the Krakoan masses should “love them...for they have righted the wrongs of men and defeated our great enemy death.” As with many RL human cultures, historic grievances are used to define in-group and out-group, but at the same time, the Five’s “miracle” is defined as a victory over “our great enemy death,” (which neatly ties together anti-mutant violence, mutant-specific epidemic diseases, all the forces of the “on the brink of extinction” stories we’ve seen for almost twenty years). 

Given that the Five are responsible for A. reversing mutant genocides which have directly and indirectly affected all mutants in profoundly traumatic ways B. making mutants functionally immortal, it would be utterly unprecedented if a cultural and social change of this magnitude did not have some element of spiritual or religious feeling behind it. World religions have been founded on far less than this.

By contrast, the Strike Team are described in more secular terms. For removing the existential threat of Mother Mold (let alone Nimrod) which had loomed over mutant society, Storm describes them as “heroes of Krakoa,” but not so much cultural heroes as secular military heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice for their nation: “through their deaths...a great victory was won for our people.” 

Another sign of difference is that the Strike Team’s public reception is conditional, requiring a further ceremony where the community asks “we see them, but do we know them?” I love the way that Hickman turns the meta-question of whether these resurrected mutants are the real thing or “just clones” into a cultural question. 

Thus, he has Storm act as the Master of Ceremonies for a ritual that’s all about recognition and confirmation of individual and social identity, and uses X-comics continuity nods that readers will recognize in the same way that Storm does as the clues:

Cyclops remembers losing the leadership to Storm in UX #139, and I like this particular deep cut because it’s a great contrast to their present-day respect and affected, and because Scott’s inability to commit to his marriage to Madelyn Pryor will help kick off Inferno.

Similarly, Jean recalling line-for-line what she said to Storm in UX #242 works especially well because it’s a line about asserting your identity in the wake of death, resurrection, and the existential questions of cloning, and because once again it recalls Inferno. I’m not sure whether it’s a good sign or a bad sign that Hickman gets Jean’s voice better here when he’s quoting earlier authors rather than writing original dialogue.

And finally, in a great Rule of Three joke format, Monet breaks the pattern by going for a character beat - Monet has strong personal space boundaries - rather than a deep continuity callback.  

Having done my close-reading due diligence, let me get to the point: this is not a cult, and you don’t need to take much in the way of Anthropology coursework to see that. Call-and-response between an officiant and the congregation are incredibly common across many religions, as are ceremonies in which the individual’s membership in the group is confirmed, and so on and so forth. If you want to describe this as a cult, or cult-like, you need to point to qualities that are specific to cults as opposed to other forms of religious activity.

Similarly, I find it quite strange to describe Storm as acting out-of-character in this sequence. Storm, who’s all about giving speeches at the top of her lungs, who’s been worshipped as a goddess in multiple countries, would have a problem with giving a sermon and carrying out a basic ritual? This is the sort of thing that makes me think that a lot of these comments are just people trying to disguise personal preference as story critique.

The scene ends with pulling back to see Xavier and Magneto reacting to all of this, and their feeling of tempered joy is a pretty good synecdoche for how things stand at the end of HoX/Pox: while the “good work” is clearly a cause for joy, it’s clearly at a very early and vulnerable stage, and there’s a feeling of determination that it has to continue “until it is done.” Interestingly, both Charles and Erik view this aspect of Krakoa as more “foundational” than any other element, and I wonder whether this could be part of why they don’t quite see eye-to-eye with Moira any more.

Another sign that things are not as secure as they’d like is that Krakoa still hasn’t gotten over the hurdle of UN recognition, which requires getting around a veto from a permanent member of the Security Council.

Resurrection Infographic:

So let’s talk about the Resurrection process, now that we have all of the information in front of us.

The Infographic really confirms that Mister Sinister is absolutely crucial to the Genetic Base working - “without this, we have nothing.” But given that we learn in Powers of X #6 that this was very much in opposition to Moira’s wishes, I wonder how the original plan envisioned this working. I wonder whether Magneto’s statement to Emma Frost in Powers of X #5 that “we are not ahead of ourselves...we are woefully behind” suggests a motive. Mister Sinister already had a comprehensive DNA database on the go, they might have gone to him because they wanted to accelerate the time table for reversing the Genoshan genocide.

At the same time, you can already see how Sinister has become the snake in the garden. At the moment, Xavier and Magneto have “limited...current mutant modifications...to “optimal aging,” but we can already see Sinister’s influence in the line “it is believed that in the future, designer modifications will be possible.” Unless they are very, very careful, this is how the chimera singularity could topple all of this into the abyss of the singularity.

The Five:

As I discussed above, each of the Five are a crucial element of the overall process.

Fabio Medina (Goldballs): produces limitless eggs for limitless husks. Without Goldballs, the resurrection process would be extremely limited in how many people could be brought back at any time by all kinds of resource constraints; with him, the process can be turned into one of mass-production.

Kevin MacTaggart (Proteus): turns unviable eggs into viable eggs; without Proteus, Goldballs’ innovation would be effectively stillborn. Kevin’s presence here is also a strong indicator that this was part of Moira’s plan, so as with so much in HoX/PoX what we’re talking about is a question of means vs. ends. 

Joshua Foley (Elixir): “kick-start[s] the process of life, initializing cell replication and husk growth.” Without Elixir, the DNA might sit dormant within the egg; with Elixir, you have a bridge between the raw building blocks of life and the end product of a viable husk. 

Eva Bell (Tempus): “temporally mature[s] a husk to a desired age.” This is potentially an under-appreciated aspect of the whole process: without Tempus, you’d still have to wait decades for resurrected mutants to come to maturity and all throughout that time, the process would be incredibly vulnerable; with Tempus, mutants are brought back to life as fully-grown adults capable of doing their part for Krakoan society. 

Hope Summers (Hope): has the more nebulous task of “enhancing and synergizing...to ensure the success of each resurrection.” As Magneto explains, resurrection is “delicate, almost impossible work.” Hope’s unique power set allows her not only to boost the powers of the rest of the five, but also to improve coordination and thus quality control, so that the overall process has a success rate of 100%.  

As we can see already, this is a system with a lot of irreplacable parts, which means a bunch of potential points of failure. No wonder, then, that Krakoan minds are at work trying to overcome these problems. We already see that “Synch or Mimic” have been floated as “upgrades/extensions/stand-ins” for the Five, which suggests that they’re already thinking about ways to improve functionality by adding to the “circuit” or about ways to maintain service if one of the Five needs to be replaced. 

Similarly, I love how the “Proteus problem” shows how Resurrection is changing our perceptions of so many things in Krakoan society. From his introduction, Proteus has been shown as inherently dangerous because of the way that his powers damage his body - but with the Resurrection system, Proteus is just a mutant who happens to have a chronic illness that can be treated. One interesting question...why is Proteus’ “backup mutant husk” based on Charles Xavier? Charles isn’t his father, so it’s not a question of genetic compatibility. 

The Mind:

Here’s where we really get into the philosophy of identity. Hickman gets really emphatic here that these are not “just clones,” because the backups include “the essence of each mutant, how they think, how they feel, their memories, their very being.” 

I’m personally inclined to agree with Hickman. Even without transference of consciousness as a real thing, I don’t think a strict view of continuity of consciousness can really hold, given the fact there are plenty of breaks in said continuity - we don’t consider people who get knocked out or blackout drunk or just have a nap to no longer be the same person, so what’s the rationale for saying that any of the Strike Team aren’t the same people who they were before?

I also love how the Cerebro part of the system adds all kinds of new problems: there’s the technical complexity of scanning every mutant mind on the planet and then storing and copying that datat to “multiple redundant “cradles,” as well as new philosophical and ethical issues about what happens when you put someone’s mind in someone else’s body, etc. More on this in a bit. 

Scale:

So at least at the time that this document was written, it looks like the mutant population is back to 100,000 (although how much was the Five isn’t clear), but that there are 1 million de-powered mutants (many of whom might want to use the system to regain their powers), and 16 million mutants who were murdered and whose resurrection is a key ideological drive for Krakoa.

As Hickman points out, this brings up issues of productivity and efficiency that we’re used to seeing in industrial and technological processes. The Five’s initial rate of 200 a day would take 300 years to accomplish the goal of reversing Krakoan genocide, which is way too long a timeline.

However, it turns out that there’s a mutant version of Moore’s law: the more the Five do this, the better they get at it (with a nice nod to Wolverine, so “its estimated that capabilities could possibly reach around 30,000 a week” (or 6,000 a day), bringing the timeline down to a far more manageable decade. 

A final bottleneck: Charles Xavier “is not capable of” 6,000 daily downloads, and we already seen Krakoan minds thinking about “a workaraound or a team of telepaths” to supplement someone who’s also busy attending U.N meetings, Quiet Council sessions, plotting world domination, etc.

On a policy wonk side note, I was trying to figure out how Hickman worked out these numbers, and I realized that his math assumes that Krakoa has a five day work-week. As we’ll see in House of X #6, there are major open questions about what kind of economic policy (and thus, what kind of society) this new nation-state will have. Good to see that Actual 19th Century Robber Baron Sebastian Shaw isn’t getting his own way.

One particularly odd thing about Krakoan biomachinery, according to “extensive testing,” the Five don’t actually experience “exertion,” but rather a “blissful experience” of self-actualization. This suggests the psychological equivalent of a perpetual motion machine - rather than requiring more and more labor, the damn thing requires less and less and produces “total fulfillment” as a byproduct. Weird.

Another interesting side effect is that the Five have become “an inseparable family unit” who are undergoing a process of symbiosis - given all the discussion of mechanical hiveminds, it’s worth wondering whether we’re seeing a biological one forming and to what extend is individuality being maintained.

A final, slightly odd note: this Infographic describes the Five’s socio-cultural status as that of “cultural paragons” rather than “something achievable through works,” even though the Five are explicitly described as having carried out “good works.” So what gives?

Resurrection Protocol:

One last bottleneck: the whole process seems to take at least 42 and as much as 52 hours to complete. Although they can clearly work on multiple eggs in one batch, getting that figure down would no doubt be useful in further increasing productivity.

An interesting sign of the cultural/philosophical impacts of the system: Krakoan society now has “fears regarding duplication” of an explicit moral character, and thus requires an elaborate system of confirmation to bring someone back from the dead. Thus, we start to see the formation of mutant law-enforcement entities to deal with “mutant missing persons and suspected deaths and murders,” which is presumably going to be X-Factor rather than X-Force as initially believed (since X-Force turns out to be the intelligence service instead).

A Grateful Nation:

Speaking of the burdens of statecraft, the scene shifts to the aftermath of the U.N recognition vote, where it emerges that Emma Frost used her telepathy to push the Russian ambassador to abstain rather than veto, which Xavier is ok with. Krakoa is now an internationally-recognized nation-state in good standing, something that previous mutant nations never quite managed. 

This gave some parts of the fandom a good deal of trouble, but let me say as someone who’s taken a couple courses in diplomatic history, this is really quite mild stuff compared to the usual run of vote selling, wiretapping, blackmail, threats of economic or military retaliation, and other kinds of skullduggery and corruption. The world of nation-states is not one of moral purity.

Also, if we’re talking about characters being in and out of character, as much as Charles Xavier has been described as an idealist when it comes to his ultimate ends, he’s always been a pragmatist when it comes to his means when it comes to psychic powers. Mental compulsion, altering or erasing memories, mind-wiping people into mental vegetables - as long as it’s for the greater good. 

I’m curious what Emma Frost’s reward will be. This scene explicitly comes after she made her bargain with Xavier and Magneto for a fifty-year monopoly for the Hellfire Trading Company and three seats on the Quiet Council, so I wonder what this bonus will be.

Mutant Diplomacy Infographic:

Speaking of the moral ambiguity of international relations, we learn from this infographic that “all current mutant diplomacy...is dependent on relationships with human nations centering on their need for mutant pharmaceuticals.” On the one hand, it’s better than basing your diplomacy on military aid. On the other hand, it’s notable that Krakoa isn’t building its diplomacy on the basis of human rights or cultural exchange or other elements of “soft power,” it’s all very transactional. (It’s also not a good sign that “nations that have rejected a trade treaty with Krakoa are considered to be naturally adversarial.)

We then get a list of non-treaty nations. Some of these inclusions make sense, others are a bit puzzling, and I have some questions about why certain nations didn’t make the list.

Asia:

Why just Iran in the Middle East? OPEC should be losing their minds about the potential for Krakoan portals to undermine the value of oil. Likewise, plenty of Middle Eastern regimes might be worried about other ethnic minorities using the Krakoan precedent to redouble their own pushes for national independence. And if it’s religious ideology, why is it only a Shia issue and not a Sunni issue?

Madripoor: given where Krakoa is located, this is probably an issue of being afraid of a new power in their sphere of influence. Also, Madripoor has tended to get up to a lot of mutant-related crimes, so they’d probably be worried about this.

North Korea: this being listed as an ideological issue is a bit strange. The official state ideology of North Korea is really peculiar, even among putatively Communist regimes, so it’s hard to tell 

Europe:

I imagine the E.U’s role in negotiating trade deals probably is responsible for the relative lack of European nations on the list, but I’m surprised that none of the right-wing populist governments that have sprung up in central/eastern Europe in recent years who aren’t particularly friendly to real world minorities wouldn’t have an issue with a powerful nation of mutants.

Latveria: probably because Doom is a paranoid, egomaniacal autocrat who pursues economic autarky generally. I am curious, however, about other Marvel-specific nation states - we know that Namor isn’t going to go to Krakoa, but what is Atlantis’ foreign policy on this issue? What do the Inhumans think? Etc.

Russi: as we’ve seen from House of X #1, Russia fears a new global superpower. What’s interesting is we don’t see them exerting any successful influence on Central Asian or Baltic or ex-Soviet eastern European nations. 

South America:

Brazil: is this Bolsanaro's cultural conservatism at work or something else? Because...

Venezuela: is kind of on the opposite end of the spectrum from Brazil’s current government, so it would be odd to see them on the same side of this issue. The only thing I can think of is that this might be due to Chavezista anti-imperialism. Because...

Santo Marco: contrary to what Magneto said in House of X #1, mutants have not been entirely free of the sins of conquest and imperialism, and in one of his first appearances, Magneto conquered the Republic of Santo Marco and ruled it in an extremely brutal fashion. That’s the kind of thing people remember for a long time, so I’m not surprised that you see some South American countries taking a negative view of Krakoa as a result.

Terra Verde: Similarly, Terra Verde’s government was briefly overthrown by the supervillain Diablo, and although mutants were not involved, they may be generally wary of superpower-led nation states. 

Central America:

Honduras: it’s not that I think it’s implausible, but what makes Honduras different from other Central American countries on this issue?

Africa:

This is where we get a potentially really juicy plot hook. As late as X-Men Red, Wakanda has been generally positive towards mutants, especially since not only does T’challa have a personal relationship with Storm, but in the current run of Black Panther, Storm has been popularly worshipped as Hadari Yao, the Walker of Clouds. 

Given that Wakanda is seen as a threat because “they do not need mutant drugs,” this may be a case of Krakoan/Moira’s paranoia that Wakanda’s advanced technology and self-sufficiency might mean that the post-human revolution might start there. 

At the same time, the fact that the rest of the “Wakandan economic protectorate” also reject a trade treaty might suggest that we’re just seeing a simple story of nation-state competition for spheres of influence.

Krakoa Is For All Mutants:

In a very straight-forward example of X-Men dissenting from Xavier’s plan, we see Wolverine - who’s about to take up a significant post in Krakoa’s national security infrastructure - has a big enough problem with the amnesty program that he mentions wanting to beat “Chuck” to death for general smugness and condescension. 

A whole bunch of supervillains cross-over, but while some of them will become significant as members of the Quiet Council or Captains, Apocalypse is framed as the most significant one, because he’s the only one with a pre-existing connection to Krakoa

Indeed, he goes full Disney Princess on page 27 because Krakoa “knows me, and I Krakoa,” which might be a big problem later on if Krakoan’s earlier and deeper connections to Apocalypse come into conflict with its more recent alliances with Cypher and Xavier.

At the same time, at least for the moment Apocalypse is the most ideologically on board with Xavier’s broader project, seeing it as the culmination of his life’s work. 

Thus, he’s happy to say the words: “we submit to the laws of this land, be what they may, and acknowledge from this day forward, we all serve a higher purpose than want or need. One people from this day forward.” It’s an oath of citizenship, but it also speaks to the conditionality of the amnesty. And there are penalties for breaking it. 

My Year in Movies: Favorite Non-2018 Feature Films (Part 1)

I watched a LOT of movies this year. At last count, I had logged 229 features and 126 shorts; and that doesn’t count rewatches--only movies that were new to me.

I set a few challenges for myself as well this year. The first one was to watch at least one non-English language/US release per week--this exposed me to so much world cinema and some really amazing filmmakers. Anyone who avoids foreign films because “I don’t like subtitles” is really missing out, and I found myself craving these narratives from voices I don’t ordinarily get exposed to in my everyday life. 

Other personal challenges: Watching as many horror movies as possible in October (with horror defined pretty loosely so I could include entries from silent era and onward, as well as some comedy cult classics that have horror/thriller elements); participating in Noirvember (in addition to attending Noir City in Chicago); crossing off some major blindspots from my list (such as Bicycle Thieves, The Producers, Lethal Weapon, A Few Good Men, Grease, Home Alone 2, Brazil, and Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom); and trying to watch movies and short films from every decade that motion pictures have existed.

In 2019, I hope to do similar personal challenges with a focus on movies made by women, LGBTQ+, and people of color, in addition to filling in the gaps of my classical/canonical movie knowledge. 

OK, so that’s enough preamble. Let’s get to the list! For this list, I’m excluding movies that were released in 2018--that’s coming but this is for movies released before that. 

50. Linda Linda Linda (2005, directed by Nobuhiro Yamashita, country of origin: Japan)

High school girls recruit the Korean exchange student (Doona Bae, of Cloud Atlas and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance) to join their rock band a few days before the school talent show. This is just a feel good film, recommended if you enjoyed the likes of Sing Street, We Are The Best!, and The Runaways. Unfortunately, it’s out of print in physical form; but last I checked someone had uploaded it to YouTube so you might want to get on that before it’s removed. You can watch the trailer here.

49. The Blue Dahlia (1946, directed by George Marshall, country of origin: US)

This film noir stars Veronica Lake and Alan Ladd, and like any good noir, it deals with dark subjects including murder, blackmail, political corruption, and PTSD. It’s been on my watchlist for a long time, and thanks to Noir City Chicago, I got to see it on the big screen at the Music Box Theatre. For small screen viewing, you can catch up with it via rental on Vudu, Amazon, iTunes... the usual suspects. 

48. Siren of the Tropics (1927, directed by Mario Nalpas and Henri Etievant, country of origin: France)

My dearly departed Filmstruck had a spotlight on the films of Josephine Baker, and this was among them. I fell in love instantly with the lively, beautiful Baker, here playing a woman named Papitou who deals with some super scummy dudes but manages to be herself in the face of all that nonsense. Silent films can sometimes be tougher to engage with for modern audiences, but this one flies by and contains some unexpectedly racy sequences for the time. Its racial politics don’t meet today’s cultural standards, but considering Baker’s parents were former slaves and their daughter went on to become the first woman of color to star in a major motion picture, this is still a landmark film worthy of our consideration. She broke down many barriers and contributed a great deal to both the entertainment world and the Civil Rights movement, and this serves as a nice entry point into her career. It’s available on DVD through Kino Lorber, and hopefully one day soon it’ll pop up on another streaming service that carries on the Filmstruck legacy.

47. I Don’t Feel At Home in This World Anymore (2017, directed by Macon Blair, country of origin: US)

Here’s a film that goes to some unexpected places. I had no idea what to expect from Macon Blair, who frequently appears in the movies of Jeremy Saulnier; but in his debut feature for Netflix, he pulled out all the stops. Hilarious, violent, and intense, with memorable performances from stars Melanie Lynskey and Elijah Wood, this is a movie about getting in over your head and just going for it anyway. I don’t want to tell you about the plot because it’s best discovered through watching--just go to your nearest device and add it to your Netflix queue. 

46. Song of the Sea (2014, directed by Tomm Moore, country of origin: Ireland)

Absolutely gorgeous animation from the team that previously brought us The Secret of Kells, and a touching story that combines family and mythology. I adored this one. Watch it on Netflix or rent on the usual streaming sources--for a preview, click here. 

45. Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942, directed by Michael Curtiz, country of origin: US)

I always watch Independence Day on the Fourth of July; but in 2018, I decided to mix it up and cross this patriotic musical off the watchlist. I’d seen James Cagney’s gangster movies like White Heat and The Public Enemy, but seeing him sing and dance was a whole new joyous discovery. This movie is entertaining, funny, touching, and full of iconic sequences that other films would go on to borrow from. I absolutely loved it. Pretty sure I saw this on Filmstruck originally, but since that’s no longer possible you should be able to find it at your local public library or you can rent it for a couple bucks on Amazon, YouTube, iTunes, and the like. 

44. The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950, directed by Felix Feist, country of origin: US)

This tightly wound noir thriller pits brother against brother against the backdrop of 1950s San Francisco. Lee Cobb plays an aging bachelor and an accomplished police detective who falls for the wrong dame. His younger brother, played by John Dall (Gun Crazy, Rope), has just joined the police force and idolizes his older brother. Trouble strikes when the dame murders her no good husband and needs help from Cobb to cover it up. Naturally, Dall gets assigned to the case and as he begins to piece together the clues, he doesn’t like where they’re leading him. The climactic sequence is one of my favorite endings to a noir film, and I’ve seen a lot of them. Watch it for free if you have Amazon Prime; otherwise, there are a few versions uploaded to YouTube of varying quality or you could wait for it to pop up on TCM. 

43. Los Angeles Plays Itself (2003, directed by Thom Andersen, country of origin: US)

This documentary edits together clips from movies of every era that were filmed or set in Los Angeles, and explains through voiceover narration the significance of each location and the history of the motion pictures in LA. That’s it--very simple concept but also fascinating. I split this up over a couple nights because it’s pretty long, but if you’re a film fan or a Los Angeles native, this is well worth your time. The voiceover is kind of hilariously flat in its delivery--kind of a Steven Wright sound actually--but that sort of adds to the charm for me. Get a taste by watching the trailer, and then you can rent it on YouTube for $1.99.

42. A Simple Plan (1998, directed by Sam Raimi, country of origin: US)

It’s been almost two years since we lost Bill Paxton; I don’t know about you but I don’t think any other actor can really fill those shoes. This year I caught up with three films that showcased his talent: A Simple Plan, One False Move, and Frailty. He plays very different characters in each one but in many ways they all start off with a similar premise: Ordinary guy dreams of becoming more. What that “more” is for each character is what sets each film and performance apart, but Paxton provided a great canvas to paint these unique characters onto. He inhabited the ordinary man better than just about anyone. 

In this film, which I watched during Noirvember, Paxton plays Hank, a college-educated guy working a blue collar job in a small town, trying to make a better life for himself and his family. He’d like to get away from those small town roots, but his socially awkward brother Jacob (Billy Bob Thornton) relies on him. Unfortunately, Jacob is often accompanied by the hard-drinking loose canon Lou (Brent Briscoe). When the unlikely trio discover a crashed plane in the woods containing a suitcase full of cash, they each have ideas for how to handle the situation. Of course things escalate from there, and the way the movie explores human nature and family ties set this story apart. Available for online rental on the usual platforms.

41. The Iron Giant (1999, directed by Brad Bird, country of origin: US)

Given my obsession with Vin Diesel in the early 2000s, it’s pretty shocking I never saw this movie til now--sure, he and his glorious muscles don’t appear on screen, but he does provide the voice of the title character after all. When the Iron Giant made a controversial cameo in this year’s film adaptation of Ready Player One, I decided it was time I saw the source material for myself. 

This gorgeously animated fable unfolds during the Cold War era, and features an ET-inspired story arc of a young boy befriending an unlikely being that the government is looking for. If you’ve never seen it, this is definitely a must-watch. Currently available on Netflix, but rentable on other platforms too.

40. The Unsuspected (1947, directed by Michael Curtiz, country of origin: US)

I adore Claude Rains, star of this film and supporting actor in Curtiz’s more famous work, Casablanca. Here, he plays the host and narrator of a popular radio show that revolves around tales of murder--basically the Law and Order: SVU of its day. We learn early on that he sometimes draws inspiration for his broadcasts from real life criminals. When people in his own life start dropping dead, the plot thickens and he finds himself at the center of the action. A very suspenseful and well-plotted film noir, which is available from the Warner Archive collection on DVD. I got to see it at Noir City Chicago, and loved every second of it. 

That’s all for this entry--stay tuned for part two of this list, posting soon! 

Kitten (Part 29)

Note: Fast approaching the end. Yeah, the conversation was pure self-indulgence on Kuro’s part.  There wasn’t actually a need for him to do that.

<< First < Prev.

The key to a good trap is having the right sort of bait for your prey. You want a lioness, you dangle her injured cub. You want the paladins of Voltron, you release a few choice screen shots with easily traced upload locations. He’d chosen some of Kitten’s tamer pictures for his bait. Hinting at the extent of their time together, without showing too much. Wouldn’t do to reduce the value of his leverage by giving the good stuff away for free.

If the Castle didn’t appear soon, he might not get a choice about making that sacrifice. The ‘allies’ he’d gathered for this trap were fair weather at best. The longer this dragged on, the more likely they were to decide to try and turn on him. He hadn’t been foolish enough to give them his location, but a brute force search of the sector would surely reveal him. No, losing the opportunity for more quality time with Shiro’s kitten and having to fight his way out, is much worse than sharing a few more pieces of his prized collection with the unwashed masses of the galaxy. Besides, the look on Kitten’s face when he reads all the appreciative comments from his new fans would be something worthy of immortalizing.

A little red blip appears on his sensors, and a second later, a wormhole rips through the fabric of space on his view screen. His estimates on the best strategic entry point had been correct. The paladins were right where he wanted them.

He opens the hailing frequency. Someone much more technologically apt than himself, had kindly volunteered to rout his hails through the same station he’d made the uploads from. Given time he could be found despite the extra step, but by then he planned on being long gone.

The Altean bitch picks up the call again. “Kuro.” She says with all the venom of a rattlesnake. He ignores her, examines the other residents of the bridge. The orange idiot is there, with something approaching a serious expression for once. He might as well be a chair for all his potential amusement value. The green gremlin is at her station. He never did get around to sending her that video. She’s not as amusing as Kitten, but he imagines her anguish could be worth the effort. Be more fun if Matt were here though, more history to build on with that one. Last but certainly not least, his weaker self is glaring up at him, hatred etched into the grit of his jaw and the flare of his nostrils. He must be barely keeping his temper in check. Shiro’s been fantasizing about confronting Kuro and killing him, between wrapping his kitten up in blankets and nursing him back to something human all sickeningly sweet. Kuro knows this for certain. That’s the fun of Shiro, he never has to guess what he’s feeling.

“Miss me?” His giddiness is showing, and Shiro’s fist are clenching in reaction. Maybe he can get him to break something in a fit before they’re done here. Wipe off a bit more of that golden boy shine to show his team the broken gladiator beneath.

“What do you want?” Shiro growls, stepping forward to stand by the princess. From the look on her face, he’s already going off script. Did they try to stop him from coming to this meeting? Not surprising they failed. His weaker self can be so stubborn about putting himself in situations that hurt him. Almost takes the fun out of emotional torment…Well, not really.

“I just wanted to chat and catch up with my two most favorite people in the universe,” Shiro’s going to crack a molar if he grits his teeth much harder, “Speaking of which, where is your kitten?” Did he know about this meeting? Or did they just make a jump without telling him where or why? Oh, maybe he’s really lucky and they haven’t told him what Kuro did. Tried to hide the evidence for his own good. That would mean he’d get to see the initial shock and horror himself.

“His name is Keith!” Shiro shouts, his face going red. The princess reaches out and grabs his arm. The struggle to pull his temper back under control is obvious on his face.

“Kitten,” Kuro says with a smirk, “Why don’t you go ahead and call him in? It’s not nice to hold conversations about someone behind their back.”

“You will never speak to him again.” Oh, Shiro should know that you never say never. Especially in a galaxy as big as theirs.

“Call him up,” Kuro pulls his recorder into the line of sight of the camera, “Or I start releasing more on the galactic Internet every minute until he arrives.” He presses the play button and the video on the recorder starts with a panicked cry from Kitten to ‘stop’. This was one of their more vocal play sessions, perfect for an audible reminder of all he still has left to offer.

Shiro chokes. The princess steps in to cover for him, “We will not be blackmailed.” She says without a trace of doubt someone might disobey her. He’s certain if she was the only one he was negotiating with, then they’d just stand by and let him. Maybe even leave the sector without further comment. Good thing she’s not.

Kuro gives her a dismissive glance, then very pointedly looks back at Shiro, “Are you going to make that decisions for him? How do you think he’ll feel when he finds out you chose to humiliate him in front of the entire galaxy rather than ask him if he wants to talk to me?” He has him. Shiro knows how much Kitten hates to show weakness in public. He’s always been so intensely private. His weaker self could never allow this to happen without his permission.

Kuro watches patiently, while the princess and Shiro have a quiet argument. She’s not nearly cold blooded enough for this job, she caves before a minute passes. Shiro turns to leave, “Send the Gremlin,” Kuro calls out, “I want to visit while we wait.” If Shiro goes, he’ll help prepare Kitten for what’s to come. Much better to have someone less good at handling him go to retrieve him. Bonus, with the green paladin gone from the bridge, it will take them even longer to locate him.

Shiro hesitates. Kuro ups the volume on the recorder, no need to verbalize the threat, “Pidge, tell Keith what’s going on.” Shiro’s tone is clipped. He’s hating every moment of having to dance to Kuro’s tune, but he’ll do so. He’s a self-sacrificing weakling like that.

They don’t end up talking while they wait. Shiro fumes in silence, and Kuro double checks his playlist in preparation.

He’s just beginning to entertain the thought that the paladins don’t plan on holding up their side of the bargain, when Kitten arrives. He immediately stalls. What little color he has draining from his cheeks. Kuro would like to think his presence alone has such an effect, but likely the pretty thing is reacting to the audio still belting out from his recorder. Someone forgot to warn him about the ambient soundtrack to this meeting. Kuro smiles, “Come here, let me get a good look at you. It feels likes it’s been ages.” Kitten walks stiffly into the room to stand by Shiro. His weaker self’s expression has gone from anger to concern. He was probably hoping that his kitten wouldn’t show. Give him free pass to ignore Kuro’s threats and try to hunt him down instead.

“I’m here,” Kitten is still pale as a sheet, but he’s putting on his brave face. Like Kuro hasn’t wormed his way into being one of his worst nightmares, “Say what you have to say.” A particularly loud cry on the audio makes him flinch anyways. So cute and high strung. He’s going to have so much fun breaking him again.

“I was wondering, have you been dreaming about me? Have I been in your thoughts, while we’ve been apart?” From the way Kitten sucks air past his teeth, the answer is yes. He can just imagine how that’s been. Kuro’s presence clinging to him like a stain he can’t wash off. Shiro hovering over his shoulder trying so hard to make it better. The expressions, the feelings, oh yes, he doesn’t need to have been there to know exactly how it went.

“Fuck you,” Kitten spits, just as powerless to stop him from inflicting pain as when he was tied up on Kuro’s shuttle floor. That gives him ideas. Maybe when he gets Kitten back, he can find them a nice barren planet and let him run. Chase him down again and again for play until he’s too broken to try anymore. Having him back can’t come soon enough.

A flashing purple alert goes off in his peripheral vision. The Galra are in position. He’s stalled long enough. He smiles down on his soon to be playmate, “See you soon, Kitten.” Kuro disengages the call before he can respond.

It’s finally time.

Next >  Complete Version

Almost Not Really [Spideypool fic]

ssree said: Spideypool: Peter gets a Deadpool hoodie. And it's the awesomest, comfiest hoodie ever, and he isn't giving it up no matter what people say about Deadpool. 

prompts are open again! 

"Woah! Dude!” Harry stopped in front of him, eyes wide and alarmed, staring at Peter like he wasn’t wearing pants.

Peter looked down. He was wearing pants. Awesome. “What?”

“The sweater.”

This morning his limited edition Deadpool hoodie had arrived in the mail. Limited edition for several reasons most of which involved Deadpool being somewhat of a criminal and not entirely popular with the majority of citizens or other heros. Peter, however, thought this was the comfiest damn sweater he’d ever worn in his life. It was quality fabric, Wade had definitely found the right people to sell his design - which looked amazing. It was the perfect shade of red, the Deadpool logo was part of the shirt instead of this stuck on crap that would eventually peel off, and there were thumb holes.

“It is. The. Best. Hoodie.”

Harry narrowed his eyes, looking Peter up and down once more. “Are you sure you’re ready to go to class wearing that? He’s not exactly… Yeah, y’know what,” Harry pulled out his phone, “I’ll just film it. It’s fine.”

Thus began a day of Peter responding to comments like:

“You know he’s a criminal, right?”

“It’s criminal how comfy this hoodie is.”

And:

“He’s killed people.”

“This sweater is killing me with how soft it is.”

And, of course:

“Spider-Man’s a better hero than Deadpool.”

“... True. But have you touched this hoodie to feel how much better it is than any hero? No hero is this soft. Scientifically speaking.”

For every comment he received, Peter had a comeback and Harry had a camera phone pointed in their face. He was going to upload it on youtube and then maybe Deadpool would see that he had at least one fan willing to buy his merch and defend him. Peter rolled his eyes. Wade would be thrilled.

“You do know,” Harry started and Peter squared his shoulder, “not that I’m dissing Deadpool or anything put your guard down, Parker. But if it’s the softness that’s making you wear it, you can get hoodies just as soft that don’t have a villain on it.”

“Deadpool’s not a villain, he’s a… a… an anti-hero.”

“Okay. But there are other hoodies.”

Peter wrapped his arms around his body, “But this is my hoodie.”

Harry blinked, put his phone down, and leaned over Peter’s desk. “You have a crush on Deadpool.”

Peter snorted and Harry grinned as if he had new information, something he could torment and blackmail him with - in a friendly way. Except Peter offered up a grin of his own, “Well duh.”

Instantly Harry deflated a little. “You were supposed to deny it.”

“Nah, it’s obvious. Also, he’s hot.”

“No one’s seen him without the mask.”

Technically speaking, someone had. He couldn’t be wearing a mask at all times and he wasn’t born with it on. There were people in the world that knew what Deadpool actually looked like. Peter was one of those people. He’d seen his face when he was Spider-Man and Wade got his ass handed to him - not by Peter, although Peter was fairly certain he could take him. Most of Wade’s costume got destroyed, including the mask. True, Wade wouldn’t be on the cover of a magazine any time soon but he was still attractive.

Peter shrugged, “I think his muscles speak for themselves.”

“You’re weird, Parker.”

“Very true, Osborn.”

Two hours later Peter got a string of text messages from Wade. They were a mix of unintelligible gibberish, completely unrelated and unusual emojis, and an unnecessary amount of capslock; but all of them could be traced back to Harry’s youtube video and exactly how proud and flattered Wade was that Peter was wearing his merch. There were a lot of exclamation marks.

***

“You know, I never thought about it before today when Harry brought it up… but I think Wade’s insecure about his face. I mean, I know he is. He insults himself all the time. The man is nothing if not self-deprecating. But he’s only ever shown me his face that one time and that was entirely on accident. Do you think I should do something? Tell him or show him or… I dunno… text him in emoji that I think his face is fine. More than fine. He’s hot. Seriously, he is a very attractive man and I am one hundred percent here for his face no matter how scarred it is. He thinks he’s ugly but that is a good face. We haven’t even kissed without our masks on. Oh frack, I haven’t even shown him my face. That’s bad, isn’t it? Gwen? Gwen, are you listening?”

Gwen lifted her headphones slightly off one ear, “Sorry, what was all that?”

Peter shot a small web in her direction, missing on purpose even though he’d love to web those headphones right off her head sometimes. “Stop being a little shit, Gwen.”

"Are you gonna stop wearing your boyfriend’s sweater on patrol?”

“No.”

“Then eat shit, Parker.”

Peter pouted under his mask, slouching on the roof they had been sitting on for the past twenty minutes. Nothing was happening in the city tonight. “You’ve gotten more attitude since you came back from that alternate universe.”

“Technically, I never came back. I was never here before, I was always there. Now I’m here. For the first time.”

He shot a web at her face this time but she caught it in her hand.

“Also, every version of me has attitude. Deal with it.”

She had him there.

“Now, go and tell your dumb almost-not-really-boyfriend that he has an almost-not-really-pretty face. I’ll handle patrol tonight, it’s boring anyway.”

“Aw, I knew you were listening.”

“You’re a pest, Parker.”

“And you’re the best, Gwen!” Peter jumped up and kissed her on the head through his mask before swinging away in the direction of Wade’s apartment.

***

Wade’s window was open when he got there, like it had been the last couple times Peter had visited. It was probably always open. The merc wasn’t exactly one for home security that wasn’t himself holding a sword or gun. Peter knocked anyway.

“Hey, Wade! You home?” He crawled inside, stepping lightly because he was never sure what he would find on Wade’s floor. Glass, blood, a severed limb, dozens of pancakes, bullets. The possibilities were endless.

No answer.

Peter checked his phone. Wade hadn’t sent him a text letting him know that he had a mission or anything. Normally he informed Peter when he was going to be away for a while.

“hey at ur place, can we talk?”

He sent the message and flopped down on the couch, thankfully not covered in guns this time, and played the waiting game.

Wade stumbled in through the apartment door fifteen minutes later wearing civilian clothes and holding a shopping bag. Under the hood of his black hoodie, however, he was wearing the Deadpool mask. Peter’s heart sank a little. He’d been out on the streets, buying whatever it was in the bag, and he put his mask back on to see Peter.

“Spidey! Hey! Keep being pretty right there on that couch, that hoodie looks fabulous on you. No really, the stuff of Vanity Fair and Cosmo - not Teen Vogue though, you are not Tom Holland. Little tyke is adorable but I’m thinking more Andrew Garfield, something for the college years. I’m gonna be right back, don’t move.”

Peter watched as Wade disappeared into his bedroom leaving the front door wide open. “What the…”

Normally, the crashing and banging wouldn’t be concerning. Nor would the excessive amount of swearing. But today, after whatever that was. Peter was a little worried. “Wade? Are you okay?”

“Go fuck a duck! How are you even stuck there?”

“Um…” Peter cautiously made his way over to the bedroom door but before he could knock, the door flew open. Wade stood there, clearly out of breathe underneath his mask, still wearing his jeans but his generic black hoodie had been replaced with a rather vibrant and detailed Spider-Man hoodie. “Wow.”

“Now we match!”

“You’re such a dork!” Peter was laughing as he wrapped his arms around Wade’s shoulder and tugged him close. “A very, very cute dork.”

“Really, Petey. I don’t think you understand that ‘ground up hamburger meat’ is the most accurate of all descriptions.”

“And I don’t think you understand that I think you’re hot.”

“But-”

“Yes, your butt is also hot. Stop fishing for compliments. Please take off your mask.”

Wade was silent, no doubt mulling this over. Confidence was something Wade had an overabundance of and, combined with his recklessness, that made it difficult to view Wade was someone with insecurities. A man without fear couldn’t be afraid of what people thought of him. That was a load of crap.

“You don’t have to.” The silence was killing him and he didn’t want to pressure Wade into anything he was uncomfortable with, no matter how desperately he wanted to see his face again. “I get it. But, when you’re ready, I’d like to-”

“Take it off.”

“Huh?”

“The mask. Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

Oh right. “Crap! I totally forgot this is why I came here! Yeah, duh.” He didn’t want to back away from Wade, but he did so he could reach up and tugged his mask off. His hair had to be a mess, sticking up in some places and patted down in others, but that didn’t matter. They were taking things further in their almost-relationship and that made him smile hard enough to distract Wade from the hair, he hoped.

“Well shit, I was right. L’uomo Vogue cover page right there.”

“Wade.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Wade hauled his own mask off. Less of a reveal since Peter had already seen him without his mask off but that was in dimmer lighting, during a fight, and Wade went to great lengths to not look at him directly. Now they were staring at each other in a well lit doorway.

“That makes two of us. Completely right.”

“Hamburger meat.” Wade nodded but Peter didn’t let him get very far with that thought process. He leaned back in, grabbing Wade by the front of his Spider-Man hoodie and tugged him close. Finally, he got to press his lips up against Wade’s without their masks in the way. Chapstick was definitely in order.

He sighed against his lips when Wade returned the kiss, pushing Peter back against the wall. Wade had a thing for pinning him against things that Peter was going to explore in the future, perhaps in an alleyway; but for now, he was quite content in kissing him.

Wade’s hands wrapped around him, gripping the back of Peter’s hoodie as he deepened the kiss. Peter was starting to have trouble breathing when Wade suddenly pulled away. “Wha-”

“Holy crap this sweater is comfy!”

Peter wasn’t even mad. “It really is.”

“They need to make a Spider-Man one. Right now. I like this one but I would wear this all day under my suit. It would look weird and I’d get some laughs, but I would commit. These are my muscles, they’re a little squishy but I assure you bad guy, I can take your head clean off with a punch… from my sword.”

“That’s nice, Wade. I think your enemies would appreciate you slamming into them with a comfy sweater.”

Wade grinned, “And I think a certain hero would appreciate it more if I were slammin-”

“Oh, you’re gonna have the weirdest dirty talk.”

“This is accurate. I regret nothing except-”

“Wade, shut up and go back to kissing me.”

“Done and-”

With a hand on either side of Wade’s head, Peter pulled him forward and kissed the rest of the words back into Wade’s mouth. Merc with a mouth was an understatement. But now he was a merc with a face, a face that he could kiss, while they were wearing matching hoodies. If they hadn’t been in a relationship before, they certainly were now.

Photo editor to edit photos for beginners

Photo editor Windows and edit a photo software to edit pics or color depth

As soon you taking a photograph in a special distance, it's alluring to center on something details you are go for to catch. But it is really good not to focus, because your photograph will be grainy or even blurry. As an alternative, try to get near to the topic, unless photo editor for pc it's a small object, in which conditions we would certainly advise to keep your span or even make your image from a normal span, as well as process it after. After you do this, you won't jeopardize quality, as well as it is simpler to essay and maximize a bigger photograph.

Photo editor performs possess a few of the features is well-known for, which comes somewhat helpful when you have actually selected you've like to effort your hand on one thing a lot more high-end than edit an image and also perspective control.

Photo editor can easily additionally import freeze frames from video recordings, along with distinct data. And when you are actually experiencing a little bit careless or even it is merely plain oblivious concerning just how to usage several of the effects, a wizard can easily assistance you adjustment the basics just like illumination, concentration, color, as well as turning of graphics. For this people who love their pictures in widescreen versions, the photo editor aids you faultlessly developed photos to generate a breathtaking photo.

And if it's opportunity to program and also print off your photography skill-sets, you can pick one of the photograph strategy style templates to automatically imprint them in a particular size.

Brand-new photo editor with many cool functions to very simple edit a picture

Photo editor does possess a few of the features is actually popular for, which comes fairly practical when you've determined you've like to effort your give on one thing a lot more opulent than scaling photo as well as edit an image.

This plan is actually well for ecstatic students with a ton of attend their palms to discover the way too technical features that would terrify extremely first time picture editing and enhancing individuals. It likewise happens aimed up with a nice scenic view plan. Likely the most shining jewel in the package would be actually the beautiful skin result, which evens and also clears away red spots out your skin.

While there is actually no motor vehicle color repair work selection very important to solution the terrible lighting up very most electronic web cams catch, there are still the standard utilities of shearing, changing lighting as well as contrast, and also removing red eye.

This plan will operate completely if you want without a problem, conventional picture changing. More than likely the shiniest treasure in the strategy will be actually the lovely skin end result, which eliminates red areas and also evens out your skin layer tone. While there's no vehicle color remedy choice, which is rather crucial to repair the crappy illuminating most digital cams squeeze, there are still the key features of mowing, transforming brightness and also background, and also receiving rid of reddish eye. Photographers are sometimes searching in the web for the best photo editor to edit images. More helpful hints about the photo editor to edit photos and software to edit a photo to photo effects with masks for amateurs.

Within some moments of using this photo editor, it is feasible to produce brand-new images from your stock of pictures that look much better as well as are a lot more fit to their desired function. Not just is the photo editor matched to specialist photo editors, however this photo editor is excellent for occasional or home individuals that simply want to create better pictures from their family member photos or holiday breaks.

Whether people are simply shooting photographs when it comes to your blog site or even your own personal usage, photo editor can easily assist people improve their look. Think about the adhering to standards to choose the very most proper photo editor.

Locate a very easy photo editor what brings anyone accessibility to lots of modifying tools. The photo editor ought to be usually suitable for anybody that is actually trying out to greatly improve the high quality related to their images. It needs to function amazing for both hobbyist shooters and skilled ones. The photo editor ought to be simply created to suit the demands of contemporary photographers. It must have a lot of helpful attributes in order to have a variety of features. Find a simple photo editor that provides effects such as shade modification as well as the alternative to edit pictures.

You recognize you require to be blogging every week and also you recognize you need to be publishing on social media several times every week. I'm guessing one of the things reducing everyone down and keeping you from uploading constantly is your photographs. Especially make your very own photos really look like professional and also relevant.

This excellent situation is, you don't need to make digital photography courses as well as you don't even need to invest in an expensive electronic camera. You just take excellent pictures, on a budget, which you already have, your mobile phone!

Nobody makes an excellent image each time. It is normally feasible to go over pictures so that you inevitably obtain the appearance and feel you are normally really hoping to get. Find out just how to modify images very quickly and comfortably by using these posts. They will help determine what follows just after you get good pictures to go over.

This good at is, you don't require to make photography classes and also you do not even need to buy an elegant digital camera. People can take terrific looking images, on a budget plan, with what you already have, your mobile phone!

Photo editor

Photo editor for Computer and software to edit photos to edit pictures

One of the most well-known misconstrued parts of electronic photography is what happens once you make the photo in fact editing and enhancing your image. That's the time where you edit the photos you have actually taken, to create the final product. Modifying your images is the matching of the room dark from the time long time ago. We are most likely to be covering some ideas for modifying your images, from the fundamentals like enhance a picture and also edit a picture, via much more challenging functions.

The image montage tool likewise offers details concerning the photo editor. Produce a photo album software was actually developed for most of the amateurish freelance photographers to use the photo editor to create a professional image. When it comes to amateurs, the photo editor is truly the optimal option because of its various features as create a picture mosaic. Essential requirements for image processing are direct exposure or edit photos. The photo editor is maximized for array images and also is suitable for pictures as well as photo montage. Here it needs to be stated that picture manipulation photo montage developing a photo editor is mainly made use of for edit pictures. Helpful hints about Photo editor Windows 10 and editing photo software to edit an image.

Along with the digital era ushering in a greater use for visible material, digital photography service has really turned into an affordable and also thriving business sector. Whether someone are usually an aspiring photographer simply starting or a skilled photographer wanting to build your business, you require to manage to keep pace with the swiftly transforming styles and also updated solutions appearing each month.

Trying to Get Into Fitness & Health

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/getting-healthy/trying-to-get-into-fitness-health/

Trying to Get Into Fitness & Health

A month is already passed of 2018 and you know what that means!(what?) People have already started giving up on their new year's resolutions(oh) Google claims that only 8% of people actually keep their resolutions

Which is like, the ultimate "I'm not mad just disappointed" Well I'm happy to tell YOU that I haven't dropped any of my resolutions I don't write any My family never really did resolutions Once, my dad was like "let's all write resolutions this year!" and we still didn't and then I didn't accomplish anything

For me when I want to change something I start trying to integrate it into my life right away, rather than waiting until next week, or next year, or next LIFETIME for that fresh start EVERY day is a Jaiden new year! *party horn, kazoo, as well as that annoying spinny thing* Whew! As someone who doesn't write them, and probably isn't qualified to critique the art of new year's resolutions I'm gonna toss my opinion that no one asked for into the ring! I think the main contributors to those 92% failing goals are they're too unrealistic and they're too vauge Let's stop beating around the bush and talk about the most common resolution people make Losing weight, eating healthier you know- that rabbit-hole "Lose 20 pounds by drinking this tea from a weird plant you've never heard of!" "Lose 10 pounds in 30 minutes or your pizzas free!" "Lose

your money" It's all basically just: Spongebob: -ALL RIGHT! GIVE ME THE MONEY! All those quick-fix weight-loss scams that make too good to be true claims are, just people who want your money Sure, the scale says "Hey! great job you lost seven pounds in a week!" but your body says "Yeah, but that was all just water weight, and also I don't feel very good" or AAyuasytdyafwtsfetwsfewdwtdrecwrthdrfewchtewscwszxechzewRTHJQqcfawsh3fawsqcehtgwdcerhnscfqHNSYTZRSEHNT2QD2DCTX NJYCV6FREUWQVF6ET,KDUHCQ If you want change you've got to earn it through work

There isn't an easy way out making changes in your lifestyle need to be sustainable for, life That's why they're called "Lifestyle Changes" Not "I'm gonna pay $200 for this diet shake, feel good for two weeks, lose 10 pounds! start feeling bad and give up in a month" Changes "I'm gonna start working out more" "I'm gonna start going to the gym," let's be honest with ourselves here, that's a weak excuse for a resolution "I will go on a run every other morning," "I'll lift weights 3 to 5 days a week" those are much easier to follow than, "I'll exercise more" *pSHH* get out of here with that vague crap You don't even know what you mean by that

And don't be flaky and say "oh, I missed a week, oh I'm hopeless" *sad moan of grief* NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM You're not gonna be perfect for a whole year Take a breath, chill and keep going I'm saying that to myself just as much as I am to you I've been trying to be more self-aware about when my brain just wants to turn one little mess-up into an excuse to stop something entirely I'm getting better at slowly ending that habit

I grew up doing a lot of sports Soccer, Martial Arts, Tennis, Competitive Pokémon I know my way around the gym But I dropped it all my last year of high school to focus on Youtube and art I didn't care about what I ate and combined with not moving around much I started feeling pretty crummy

So I ended up turning to what most people do when they reach a similar problem *sighs* All right, here we go *upbeat hip-hop gym music plays* Let's talk about home exercise videos Why are so many of them so fake? The weird hip-hop music and the smiles that are a bit too wide it might just be the plastic surgery, but it all makes me feel uncomfortable I get that instructors want to make exercise seem fun and all that but, ehhhhhh it feels super condescending to me How the FRIG do they do entire workouts smiling and talking and making cheesy eating pizza jokes? "All right now hold that squat -ooooh feel that burn in those quads!" "I'm smiling and articulating everything perfectly and I totally know you're panting like a dying animal over there! Don't think about that leftover pizza in the fridge!" *giggles* -"Looking at YOU Brittany!" If you're looking for good home exercise programs, I'm gonna recommend this blog I've been following for a super long time called 'Fitness Blender' Woah is that the sellout alarm?!?!? is Jaiden finally selling out?? No, turn that thing off I've never talked to Fitness Blender, they're not paying me to say this, They don't even know I exist

*groans of sadness* It's run by this nice couple (Daniel and Kelly) they're super down-to-earth and have a really healthy view on fitness and wellness You can tell they know their stuff All their exercise videos and tips are completely free, and if you want to use one of their written programs or meal plans, they're like 15 bucks *GYM HIP-HOP INTENSIFIES* and they don't have that dumb music IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE VIDEO! If you're just starting out exercise it's gonna hurt and/or suck for a bit If it doesn't you aren't gonna see changes Well okay, don't murder yourself

Be smart about it But your body is gonna complain for a while and that's good There's plenty of activities you can do! playing a sport with friends, walking your dog, a casual battle to the death -squats And respect your starting point When I first started trying to get back into working out, I was just, *gasps of exhaustion* okay, alright, got through it

TV: -"Alright, we're done with our warm up grab a quick drink of water, and we'll get right into the workout!" But just stick through the beginning, because that's literally the hardest part Raise your hand if you're sore! AHA trick question! you can't raise your arms They're jello Don't forget that exercise is only a quarter of the health journey What you eat is the biggest variable to all this life changing athlete hippy mumbo-jumbo

Eating right is like straight-up magic You feel amazing It's the closest thing to drugs that isn't drugs There's a difference between being thin, versus fit versus healthy kind of like Venn diagram style Someone could be thin, but that doesn't mean they're at all healthy

Someone could be super swollen, buff, but eat junk 24/7 and someone could be eating super healthy but not have the body of a supermodel There's a healthy range of everything I used to have a really bad relationship with eating I've talked about it before

In college I developed an eating disorder and a fear of eating food and I would go like, an entire day eating almost nothing "No Jadien!" *Slap* "you think that eating 600 calories a day is just gonna float you to all your hopes and dreams?" *M-hmm* "Nope it's just gonna give you headaches and emotional breakdowns you can trust me- I'm from the future~~~" "ALSO learn what bitcoin is and invest everything you can into it while you still can" I wish there was more information being taught on the dangers of eating disorders, Because if I knew about that whole mess 3 years ago, I would have been like "whoa!" okay? Nevermind Let's do a 180 here This ship is wack

I'm getting out of here before it controls everything in my life" You can't abuse your body and expect anything good to come from it Body: "Man I feel great! I could totally run a marathon and write an essay right now I'm so energized and my brain is so clear!" "Thanks for feeding me LITERALLY ONE GRAPE" You don't go to the gas station, pour a cup of gas into your car, and then try to drive to China

Eating less than your body needs to physically survive accomplishes nothing It might seem like it's working in the moment but honey, you've got a big storm coming Please try to end it as soon as you can I'm not at all trying to shame anyone going through rough times with their self-image I know it's a really hard thing to fight against

I was pretty far gone when I was struggling And even though I'm in a much better place now, I do still have bad days What helps me is trying to separate logical thoughts from the bad ones that fueled the irrational fears They're not here to see you succeed They're just the dumb brain versions of those tv and email scams where they're like "Hey! Give me your credit card info, social security number, and mother's maiden name and I'll give you a million dollars!" "I won't literally destroy your life, I'm just your friendly neighborhood Nigerian prince!" It's all more simple than you think

Eat healthy when you can, fresh fruit, vegetables, whole foods, and it's okay to treat yourself every once in a while Don't say: "I'm never eating sugar for the rest of my life!" You're setting yourself up for failure there And end up pulling a James Exercise as much as little as you're ready for, and be mindful and respectful about how your body feels Little changes go a long way

Remember you're doing this for you And don't play that dumb hip-hop music while you work out (music intensifies) or I SWEAR TO HERCULES I'm gonna RUN someone over with an exercise bike! Hey! It's been a while! Sorry Anyway I don't know if you've seen yet, but the finebros made a reaction video on me I've already seen it and had a reaction, but I don't think i'll be making a I react To people react to me thing I know a lot of people wanted me to do that

I enjoyed the video They said some nice things I hope you see it, and thanks to the finebros for thinking I'm someone worth reacting to *pshhh* This video took a bit longer to get done, this year's actually gonna be pretty busy, and we got some special things in the works for you in the future I'm really trying to up the quality of videos, and not die in the process I used to be super strict on uploading every two weeks, but it's really not sustainable for my mental health, or my health in general

So the videos will just be done when they're done but I care more about the quality of videos than a certain schedule, so yeah Also I hope you liked the video stick to your resolutions, keep working towards the person you want to become, and take care of yourself I'm working on all of that stuff too

okay bye!

Anya Kassoff’s Vegan Borscht

https://www.thefullhelping.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Anya-Kassofs-Vegan-Borscht-2.jpg

It seems a funny time for me to be making borscht, which is often thought of as a winter soup, but when I passed the farmer’s market last Saturday it was teeming with beets and cabbage. I picked up both before I knew what I’d do with them.

There’s a story at the start of Anya Kassoff’s beautiful new cookbook, Simply Vibrant. The main character is Anya’s grandfather, Aleksei Gerasimovich Golub, a shoemaker who was born in the North Caucasus before the Russian Revolution of 1917. One of the fables he passed along to his grandkids involved a long ago, early morning trek through the streets of Blagodatny. Aleksei was nursing a hangover from the previous evening’s festivities, and he suffered under a rising summer sun.

Aleksei paid a visit to an acquaintance who lived along the route to work, secretly hoping that this hospitable friend would offer him a drink of cold milk. The friend—Pyotr Vasilevich—did just that. Aleksei refused once, partaking in a custom in which it was polite for a guest to refuse offerings of food or drink initially and for a host to then insist. Pyotr insisted in keeping with the custom, but Aleksei was hit with what Anya calls “a stubborn, Slavic politeness that often overcame him” and refused a second time. He expected a another offer, but it never came, and so he trekked back out into the heat, parched and unsatisfied.

Anya claims that her grandfather told this story so often that she suspected that something about it haunted him, even if he found it humorous. She writes,

“What I took away from my grandfather’s account is that chances are there to be taken and opportunities don’t come around every day, so it makes great sense to take hold of them with a strong grip. I think about this moral of missed chance often, and have used it as a guiding force in my own life. It helps me see the big picture, and I often ask myself whether I’m accepting my glass of milk or letting it go. When it comes to my professional life, which today involves cooking, coming up with recipes, and dreaming about food, I’ve found one very straightforward way of fulfilling the moral of my grandfather’s story: cooking with the seasons.”

This is all my very roundabout way of saying that, even if Anya lists the borscht as a winter recipe (one of the nice features of her new cookbook is that recipes are marked by season), it felt like a fulfillment of her invitation to seize chances to use my beets and cabbage in this beautifully colored, delicious soup.

I didn’t review Anya’s first cookbook, The Vibrant Table, on my blog, but it’s one of the most creative plant-based cookbooks I’ve come across, and her blog, Golubka Kitchen, is a favorite. Anya’s recipes are always playful and nourishing, but what I think love most about them is their color. They’re always a joy to look at: fresh, bright, and vibrant indeed.

Simply Vibrant is tribute to seasonal cooking, but it shares the qualities that I love about Anya’s other books: thoughtful recipes, an emphasis on whole foods and cooking from scratch, and a sense of connection to tradition. Anya often interjects stories about her family and her roots into her headnotes, and she offers up many recipes that are or have been inspired by traditional Russian fare.

Reading her blog and books, I feel as though I’ve been transported to a kitchen in which many generations of people have prepared food with love. As someone who doesn’t have a strong family food history, it feels like a treat to be invited into Anya’s home.

A friend asked me early this winter if I had a go-to borscht recipe, and I really don’t, so I’m happy to accept Anya’s as my first. Really, it’s her mother’s. Anya writes that “my mother came up with a unique vegetarian version of her beloved staple in an attempt to give us kids lighter, healthier fare.”

When I first read the recipe, it seemed as though it demanded a lot of slow simmering and layering, and even though school’s out I wasn’t sure about the time involved. I often take liberties with cookbook recipes, but I follow Ina Garten’s suggestion of always making a recipe exactly as written, or close to it, the first time I make it. That way I know what it’s supposed to taste like, and I get a sense of what each ingredient and step contributes.

I’m so glad I made the recipe as Anya relays it, rather than taking shortcuts. She notes that her mom’s way of “gently steeping a gigantic amount of various vegetables in their own juices gives this vegetarian borscht irresistable flavor,” and she’s right: not only is it incredibly flavorful, but it’s better if you let it sit for a day before eating. Allowing the flavors to meld makes a huge difference.

Anya claims to have a very intuitive approach to cooking, so while I wanted to be faithful to her technique, I did throw in my own small flourish, which was a big splash of red wine vinegar at the end. I love acid, and even though the tomatoes contribute some of their own, I thought it brought out even more flavor from the soup. I served mine with old-fashioned pumpernickel bread (both on the side and ripped into rustic croutons), but I love Anya’s suggestion to stir in something creamy (vegan sour cream, cashew cream, or yogurt would all be great).

Anya Kassoff's Vegan Borscht

Print

Recipe type: soup, main dish

Cuisine: vegan, gluten free, soy free, tree nut free

Author: Anya Kassoff

Prep time: 20 mins

Cook time: 1 hour

Total time: 1 hour 20 mins

Serves: 10 servings

Ingredients

1 large or 2 small carrots

2 medium parsnips

1 medium red beet

1 large yellow onion

1 small celery root (optional)

2 green bell peppers

1 small jalapeño

1 tablespoon coconut or olive oil (I used olive)

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

½ medium head green cabbage

4 to 6 yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut into small cubes

1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes

7 garlic cloves, minced

¼ cup finely chopped fresh dill, plus more for serving

¼ cup finely chopped fresh parsley, plus more for serving

A splash of red wine vinegar (optional)

Vegan sour cream, cashew cream, or yogurt (I love the Forager brand plain cashew yogurt), for serving

Instructions

Peel the carrots, parsnips, beet, onion, and celery root, if using, and remove the seeds from the bell peppers and jalapeño. Roughly chop all the vegetables to fit into the feeding tube of a food processor with a shredding attachment. Shred all the vegetables and transfer the mixture to a large, heavy-bottomed soup pot.

Add the oil to the pot and season to taste with salt and pepper. Turn the heat to medium and let the vegetable juices release and start simmering, then reduce the heat to low, cover the pot, and let the vegetables cook gently in their juices for 30 minutes, until all the juices are released and the vegetables are soft.

Meanwhile, change the food processor attachment to a slicer. Roughly chop the cabbage to fit into the food processor's feeding tube, and slice it using the attachment. Alternatively, thinly slice the cabbage by hand. Transfer the cabbage to a large bowl and cover it with cold water; set aside.

After the shredded vegetables have cooked for 30 minutes, place the potatoes on top and pour in enough water to cover the potatoes completely. Increase the heat to medium, bring the liquid to a boil, then reduce the heat to a simmer and cook, partially covered, for about 10 minutes, until the potatoes are soft.

Meanwhile, bring a kettle or medium saucepan of water to a boil. Drain the cabbage and add it to the pot with the potatoes and shredded vegetables. Pour the boiling water over the cabbage, filling the pot but leaving some room for the tomatoes. Add a few big pinches of salt. Simmer for 15 to 20 minutes or until the cabbage is soft, then add the crushed tomatoes and bring the soup back to a boil over medium heat. Taste for salt and adjust if needed. As soon as the soup comes to a boil, remove the pot from the heat and stir in the garlic and herbs.

For best results, let the borscht come to room temperature and then refrigerate it overnight so it can develop fully in flavor. When you're ready to serve it, reheat the borscht on the stove. Serve with sour cream and more chopped dill and parsley, if desired.

3.5.3240

Other recipes in the book are similar to this one in that they might involve a stepwise process, but it’s not random: if different vegetables are cooked separately, for instance, it’s so that each kind is perfectly tender, rather than over or undercooked. Many of the remaining recipes are incredibly simple, including the salads and bowls, the basics, and the vegetable sides.

The book also includes a whole chapter of porridges and pancakes (my kind of breakfasts!), wraps and rolls, risotto, paella, and pilaf, and noodles, pasta, and pizza. There are so many things I’m eager to try that I don’t know where to start, but I’m keen on the Bukhara Farro Filaf (a spin on plov), the spelt fettuccine with melted rainbow chard, the chickpea and kohlrabi salad wraps, and the couscous stuffed collard greens in coconut curry sauce. The book isn’t all vegan, but it’s very predominantly plant-based, and most of the recipes can be veganized with non-dairy substitutions if they aren’t vegan already.

I’d love for one US reader of this blog to have a copy of Anya’s bright and bold tribute to seasonal fare! Enter below for a chance to win a giveaway of Simply Vibrant; as usual, I’ll pick a winner in two weeks.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

It’s been a big week around here, so I’m winding down slowly and intentionally, grateful that it’s now Friday and a weekend is on the way. I’ll see you for Sunday’s roundup.

xo

  [Read More ...] https://www.thefullhelping.com/anya-kassoffs-vegan-borscht/

Some Infos:Always liked making money growing up like selling chocolate bars in school and so on. Tried lots of things so far like multiple T-Shirt selling attempts, affiliate websites and that kind of stuff. Never made much money besides a few good weeks of flipping mainly drop shipped on amazon or fulfilled by amazon but I discontinued due to time/scaleability but I will explain that at the end for people who are interested. Funny enough while I focused on youtube my few months old March by Amazon account finally made my first sale. Sold 3 of the same shirt all others got taken down due to no sales.Youtube Background:Started youtube super early when most people didn't know what it was. Had a channel with over a 1000 subscribers back when it was a big deal lmao. Had the opportunity to be one of the first youtube partners in my country but parents looked at me like I am crazy and of course didn't sign for me so yeah would have probably made them some good money considering how much it paid back then. Fast forward lots of projects, copyright issues and youtube updates later I had lots of channels mostly alone some with others but never made money or got successful. I blame some of it on my parents and some on all the things youtube would take years to accept in out country like uploading thumbnails I mean wtf.Anyways I created the channel of this case study around 3 years ago in hopes of launching a big projects thats still in the works and fits the content so yay. Uploaded a ton of videos on there to try stuff out and ended up deleting everything. At one point I had over 100 short videos uploaded and planned with finished descriptions and everything but scraped the whole idea after a few releases. Will explain why down below. So 8 months ago or so I uploaded the first video I wouldn't delete later. Posted it here and there and it got 30k views Then 3 months ago after some trail and error I uploaded the next video which was the same thing only over an hour long with much more information and everything. It took days of work just in researching and days to edit. Should have counted the hours but I just came home everyday and worked on it for a few hours for over two weeks I think. Tried send traffic from the older video and did my best with reddit and so on. The work paid off lots of people thanked me for the effort and worked its way up to 100k views which got me really excited. Still one of my better videos now sitting around 300k. Since then I uploaded over 25 videos.Stats:Subscribers 2k+ Views 3M+ Videos 25+Had 25 inactive subs from experimenting then took for ever to grow to 50 from there around 1 a day for a while until the spike of the 100k video that gave me +100 subscribers in a day. At some point it finally started growing constantly and had some good spikes in the third month.Income:Month 1: 90 Month 2: 290 Month 3: 1400Started while the whole YouTube Add boycott was going on and at some point between the end of month 1 & the middle of month 2 (not exactly sure analytics are very inaccurate n youtube for small channels and for example estimated income was accurate the first time in the third month) my income dropped to 0 for weeks not sure how much money I lost. Overall I heard income is good 30% down since then so I broke $1000+ a month while every freaking youtuber cried for money and started donation accounts.Estimated Month 4: 1200 Had several really good performing videos last month and it will be hard topping that this month unless my next video will proof me wrong but I am sure I will get a new record in month 5 since almost every video makes constant money in addition to the spike in the first week or two of the upload and its really starting to ad up. Also got some good videos planed.Subscribers:Now 3M views and only 2k subscribers seems like a really bad conversion rate but YouTube is confusing in that sense. The more subscribers and views you get the easier it is to get them. Getting to 100 almost feels impossible at first then 1000 seems doable but takes for ever and then it actually starts growing and around 10.000 is the sweet spot where you finally made it. People start commenting about how big you are gonna get and how glad they are that they are here before the hype. Its like once you get more subscriber people actually take you serious even though the content was always just as good like when people wait in line just because the line is so long and that means the food must be good.Video Upload Amount:When starting out focus on nothing but quality videos. Otherwise people find your channel with 100s of videos and no subscribers or views and are overwhelmed with where to start watching. They also see the bad stats and assume your content must suck. I could go a lot more in depth if you are interested but for example look at gamers or vloggers with 100s of episodes and no views and if you klick on lets say episode 257 its just some random dude filming him self eating or silently running trough a dessert in Minecraft and within a minute you klick on a recommended video or leave youtube. But if someone finds your channel and you have 10 videos but all are amazing the viewer it tempted to subscribe since he likes the content but ran out of material to watch. Thats the main reason why I rather upload a few times maybe even just once a week but get share worthy high quality content with 100k views then daily uploads which would help in seo terms but are just not doable for most people if you keep the quality. Also daylight uploads are much more effective if you wait until you have a subscribers base thats waiting and actively asking for it.Thumbnails:Thumbnails are everything they must be easy to understand like one clear picture of something explaining the video. Random example if you make a video about cows you use a clear picture of a cow or a glass of milk. Don't use text for 99% or your thumbnails because its not eye catching, you already have the title for that and its hard to read since on mobile for example the time stamp at the right corner covers usually the last few digits so yeah. I know some successful channels always use text but they are either really god at making them or are already successful enough for other rains then their thumbnails.Video length:I found that 3 minute videos get really well shared but longer content is more impressive, helps with watch time, pays more and people have more time to go to the comment section and stuff. Two of my best videos are over an hour long. Also youtube favors over 10 min videos since adds before after the video.Description box:I still play around with it but I try to make a catching and seo friendly first sentence and I often advertise my others videos. I also try to rephrase the title and add additional informations.Tags:My main tags that bring viewers are really simple ones but longer ones usually and really well on youtube.Annotations:I don't use it since soon gone.Cards:New version of annotations. Mobile friendly. I don't use them on all my videos since I put a lot of effort in them and I don't want to dissect the viewer with popping up cards or asking for likes or anything.End Cards:Use them on all my videos and its nice to send some traffic to other videos but regarding the analytics only a few % of views come from them so its debatable how important they are. I always fit them in with music of the video and stuff so its more engaging and people don't mind it.Making additional money:At first I didn't do anything like affiliate links since I don't want my subscribers to think I just made the channel for money. Lately I placed some links in the description without mentioning it in the video in any form and still got some clicks but no sales. One of those links was to my Merch shirt but also no sales. Will definitely redo my designs and think about fitting products for the affiliate links and add them back in at some point. Maybe I will do a Teespring campaign for special videos or something but like I said its more important to grow the channel then to make some extra cash and risking to make the growth harder.Competitors and Stolen Videos:People already re uploading my videos without giving credit. Left comments on the ones I found and claimed copyright on some. Youtube took them down within a few days.Copyright and Age Restrictions:Had one video flagged for non advertising friendly (yt update since ad boycott) but dispute got accepted within a few hours I think. Had someone threaten to sue me for using a few seconds of material in my longest video. I offered links in the description, in the video and end cards but apparently some people rather fight then get free advertisement all over a several hundred thousand views video. Literally seconds out of an hour. Deleted the clips with the youtube editor without taking it down so kept all the stats. Recent video got copyrighted for the same thing I used in a different video which didn't get copyrighted. Did some research and found out its probably a scam youtube network and I claimed a dispute but no answer yet. Luckily I didn't release it yet but no Idea how they can flag my private video without owning the content but I have to figure that out. Ended up deleting it and uploading it again later without problems.Water Marks:I don't really use one like some people where its always in the corner or something but I place it here and there if that makes sense. Only really big ones protect against stealing it fairly well but I think they suck for the viewers. My videos are supposed to be like movies and do you want to have a giant Warner Brothers Water Mark when watching a movie? Small ones can be ok if they are well made but they get covered by the peoples water marks who steal the videos so they won't help. Depending on the content they can make it seem professional and so on but anyways moving on.All about the Money?I always enjoyed making videos way before I made a cent with it and still do so its confusing because I still somehow feel like I would lie if I say I don't do it for the money. I mean additional 1000 a month is huge for me so its definitely a factor. Its a hobby that makes money so I would be stupid to not do it. I don't know.Goals:Keep income at constant $1000+ Make $2000+ within a month. Start using my website in combination with my videos. Reach 10.000 Subscribers Get enough videos pre made and planed. Get the few low performing videos above 10.000 views. Find more good copyright free music. Keep improving editing. Figure out the best way to deal with re uploads.The Amazon FBA & Drop Shipping Bonus Story:I always sold stuff I no longer used or could randomly get really cheap in person or on ebay. At some point started using amazon. Much later I started using FBA and I was basically exploiting a market which was extremely low completion on amazon. After the first good week I already got a spike in competitors and by now it went from thousands of percent margins close to nothing. One of my best sellers sometimes cost me $3 and I sold it it for $40 and for a while I sold several of those a say so that was exciting. I typed in the main keyword in to amazon, sorted all items by highest price first and listed every single product from over 100 amazon pages. Did all of it without any plugins or tools besides something that could grab the ean number by clicking on the product forgot the name. Main reasons why I stopped was several things. First competitors became a problem because some where undercutting prices insanely like dropping the $40 bestseller to $7 so yeah. (Funny thing it was a collectors niche so selling them that cheap is just stupid because you cant just order lots of them like you could with alibaba stuff.) Second the site I mainly used to buy and drop ship everything was huge but I still created price spikes with my best sellers so I could run out any time. Third my country doesn't have its own Amazon domain like .com so we don't have FBA shipping discounts and other things which would help immensely since international shipping depending on the amazon fertility gets expensive. Fourth it was extremely time consuming I mean if I edit a video for a few hours plus respond to people and stuff it also take a while but the video can make 100s or even thousands of dollars and keeps making profit and getting views every day and the growth of the channel pays of immensely over time. Feels much more useful then researching and listing products all day and connately fight competitors with pricing and all that stuff. Overall it was still extremely worth it since I learned a lot and had a ton of fun making significant money online for the first time while being kinda broke that time. I will definitely come out with my own products at some point and chances are high I will use FBA to distribute them.TLDR: Started focusing on youtube and made $1000+ while add boycott was going on and everyone was crying for donations and acted like the world would end. Reached 3M vies and 2K subscribers. Had experience but learned a lot.

I was honestly pretty blown away by the response to my first update, and it's given me a lot of motivation to continue pushing forward.And as you'll see in this months update, that push has paid off.The Giveaway - 472 subscribers (373 confirmed) and 6 salesSo I wanted to get into this part first as this is definitely where I've had my biggest success since the last update. The premise was simple, run a giveaway for my main product, try and get a few people to help promote it, post it out on Facebook, Reddit and other online platforms. Then hopefully some sharing would take effect and bring on new people.Well, as you can tell from the title of this section, it went pretty well.My aim was to reach 500 subscribers, and in all honesty, at the start of the giveaway I thought I was going to be lucky to get 200. However it all turned out very well, and in the week I ran the giveaway I sold 4 units. The week after the giveaway ended I ran a simple scarcity funnel to the giveaway contestants, this resulted in an additional 2 sales. It turned out to be quite a profitable event, with a total of 6 sales and $400 in profit (before expenses).Here's how I went about it.Before I created the giveaway page or basically did anything, I sent out an email to the sites I'd written guest posts for. I mentioned that I was going to be running a giveaway, and that I'd love to write an article for their site and promote the giveaway in that. All in all I got 3 sites on board, but I did have to pay a small fee (~$35 each). I then organised all of the sites to post their articles on the day I launched my giveaway, and to schedule some social posts throughout the entire event.Once they were on board I went forward with my plans and set up a page, blah blah you guys don't need to know how to do that. I also created an email to send out to my list, one promoting the start of the giveaway and one on the last day.Another quick thing I did was create a ribbon and popup on my site promoting the giveaway, so I could try and capture any new traffic that came in.I then went out and tried to promote the giveaway in quite a lot of places. I have a list of around 30 car groups on facebook, so I went to each posting about the giveaway. I also had a list of contest and sweepstakes sites that I could submit it to, which brought in some traffic as well.Here are a couple of the guides I used when planning the giveaway:http://videofruit.com/blog/marketing-giveaway/ http://blog.teachable.com/guide-to-a-successful-course-launch-with-giveawaysI used the Kingsumo Giveaways plugin to run everything, and the referrer aspect of the plugin worked quite well. Of the 472 contestants, 169 were referred from another contestant. Out of all the contestants, 2 of them referred the most people by far. One person was responsible for referring 73 people, and the other person referred 48 people - these were definitely 'power contestants' that I'll be personally emailing the next time I run a giveaway.The giveaway ended up costing ~$300 and I made $400 profit from the sales so it worked out pretty well - not to mention the nearly 400 confirmed subscribers.The Expenses are:* Giveaway prize ($80) * Payment for the 3 guest posts promoting the giveaway ($100) * Kingsumo Giveaway Plugin ($100) * psss... you get a 50% discount if you use the code Videofruit - thanks to Brian Harris http://members.videofruit.com/bonus-content/giveaway-bonus/ Improving the Perceived Value of My Product (and not competing on price).One of my concerns when I first created the review page for the product I'm selling was the competition, and specifically the prices. There are many people online selling the same product as me and for much cheaper prices, so I knew I didn't want to compete on the price. I've tried to tackle this in 2 ways, by providing much more helpful information surround the topic and the actual product, and by going the extra step with packaging.Firstly, I couldn't find nearly anywhere else online with actual, useful information surrounding the topic. There were a couple of sites, but their content was clearly created with SEO purposes in mind. This isn't to say there wasn't any competition at all, there are tonnes of people selling the exact same product as me online, but they're all in ecomerce stores or on eBay, Amazon etc. And none of them give much value to the customer. Instead, I've created a site around the topic and have tried to provide a useful review for the product. I'm also being quite helpful in my replies to emails and comments from the site, which I think definitely adds to the view of a premium product.As for the packaging, the individual boxes my product comes in were really ugly. I felt like this heavily diminished the value of the product to the customer as they've spent $100+ and would expect some quality (also when you handle the product itself it has some weight to it and feels quite high quality, so I wanted the packaging to match). After searching around at custom box places for a bit (which were really expensive unless you ordered 1000+) I found a site that offered a white, rigid box that was nearly the exact dimensions I needed, for $2 a box. I was pretty happy when I found this. Anyway, I then got some stickers of my logo made ($40 for 100) and stuck them on the box, and it looks a hell of a lot better now. At some point I'll definitely look at getting custom boxes with my logo printed onto the actual box, but for now this will have to do.The other change I made was to get rid of the user manual that came with it. I read through it and there were a couple of grammatical errors, and some parts were not explained very well. I was initially looking at getting my own manuals printed, but I soon realised it was a bit of a waste of time and I could be focusing on better things. So I found an online version of the manual, copied and pasted the entire thing (with photos and all) to a hidden page on my site. I went through and fixed up all the parts I wanted and bang, done. An online user manual. I then quickly designed a card that would go in the box with each new product saying thanks and then mentioning the URL with the user manual. I tried to make it a bit personal by leaving the name spot blank, so I'd write in each new customers name by hand and sign it by hand.Improving the Funnel.Now that I had a product and packaging my customers would be proud of, I began working on the scarcity and email funnel I mentioned in my last update. Previously, I just had all new subscribers go immediately into a week-long scarcity funnel that gave them a $50 discount on my product. It converted 4 people in the end, but I thought it could definitely be improved. Based on a few recommendations from the comments I set out to re-create the funnel. I basically followed Russel Brunson's Soap Opera sequence and tacked on a shorted scarcity funnel at the end. Here's how it was setup.User subscribers -> instantly gets the content upgrade they signed up for -> next day at 7am gets an introductory email -> 1 day later gets a high emotion story that draws them into the overall topic -> 1 day later continue the story by revealing 'the epiphany' that led you to the product/topic -> 1 day later, the hidden benefits surrounds product/topic ->1 day later, CTA and start of scarcity funnel - scarcity funnel runs for a total of 4 days with 1 email each day and 2 on the last day.All in all, I have a 5 day introductory sequence (including the initial content upgrade email) which leads on to a 4 days scarcity sequence. I've only just applied it a few days ago so I'll let you guys know how it goes!Once the site grows a bit more I'm definitely planning on expanding the product range. At the start I'll probably only add another 2 products, but I'm going to completely integrate them into the funnel with their own scarcity campaigns. I've already planned how this will work.I'm going to create a review for each product and then have a top level page as a summary of all three reviews (with links to each) and a recommendation for who each product would best serve. If someone signs up through a content upgrade on any of the review pages, they're taken through the soap opera and are then faced with the 4 day scarcity funnel for the specific product they got the content upgrade for. If someone signs up through a random content upgrade/lead magnet they'll be taken through the soap opera, and then taken through a 4 day scarcity funnel pointing them to the top end review page (the one with the summaries). The funnel will work them through which product is the best fit for them, and offers a 4-day discount on all of the products summarised in the top end review page.Phew, I hope that all made sense.Infographic Link Building Project.As I mentioned in my last update, I was working on a little link building project. I found an interesting, data-heavy article that surrounded my topic (which also had a handful of decent links) and created an infographic for it. I then uploaded that to my site along with an article to go with it. Then I scraped all the links from the original article and worked out the best ones to target, I went through and found their contact details.I then reached out to each of these sites through email to see if they wanted to check out the infographic.I emailed ~20 sites (not huge, I know). And I got 0 responses.Quite a few things could of gone wrong, but I don't have the time and am not really bother to test this further.Adwords Retargetting.As I mentioned in my last update, I wanted to start testing Adwords Retargetting. So I signed up to the trial of SEMRush and put my competitors through the PPC analysis. After roughly 2 hours of digging I had a solid little list of around 15 keywords to target. I then went and created 3 basic ads targeting 3 main selling points of my product.I then went through these guides and posts and set up my campaign according to their advice:http://cdn.paidinsights.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/7-AdWords-Defaults.pdf https://blog.kissmetrics.com/profitable-google-adwords-campaign/ https://blog.kissmetrics.com/google-adwords-campaign-management/ http://neilpatel.com/what-is-google-adwords/I let the campaign run for around 3 weeks and then paused 2 of the ads that weren't performing at all. Surprisingly, I've made 1 sale through this after spending around $45 at roughly $1 CPC.If I was testing this out properly I'd need a bigger list to test it with. As my audience size is quite small, there's a low number of impressions and I should of let the campaign run for longer. But I don't really have the time and energy to delve into Adwords further, and I feel like focusing on other aspects of my marketing will reap more fruitful results.Forum Note:A nice surprise the other week was a forum thread that popped up.Someone was asking for information around my topic and another user suggested my site and product.The thread received quite a bit of attention and brought in 4-5 sales within a couple of days. I'm going to look into doing some more forum posting, but more than that, I want to look at how I can make my customers even more inclined to spread the word about my site.If anyones got some good ideas please let me know :)Overall Subscriber, Traffic, SEO Rankings, Sales, Profit & Expenses Update.Let's get straight into the good stuff and look at the sales.I've had 13 sales since the last update 1 month ago. Six of these sales can be attributed to the giveaway, 5 to the forum thread, the others occurred naturally.That's a total of $1000 in profit, and $1800 in sales.Boy am I fucking happy with that.As for the expenses, there hasn't been many beyond the giveaway. I haven't really done any more guest posting (apart from the giveaway articles which I quickly wrote myself) and apart from that it was just a little money here and there for the infographic and what not.I estimate I spent around $70 on the site, not including the giveaway.Below is a screenshot of my natural subscriber growth over the last 30 days, not including the contestants from the giveaway. All-in-all, I've now got a total of 553 confirmed subscribers (161 through the site and 373 from the giveaway).http://imgur.com/TbQs6B7And here's a screenshot of the subscriber growth this year.http://imgur.com/9wWNLRnThe traffic has been pretty steady and you can see a nice rise during the 2 weeks I ran the giveaway and following promotion.http://imgur.com/GEGhW8pAs for SEO, things have been steadily picking up and I am now ranking 6th for one of my main keywords. With a handful more of links I'll hopefully be ranking first and getting a lot more traffic. Below you can see a screenshot of the stats over the last 30 days:http://imgur.com/GerIHA6And below this you can see the keyword statistics for the last 30 days, with the keywords covered out ;)http://imgur.com/RpSacXfSite Speed Issues:Just before I sign off, I need one of you to help me.My site is set up with a pretty decent hosting plan (https://www.littlebizzy.com/), so the site speed should definitely be up there. However, through neglect and laziness I've ignored a few other things and now the site speed has been heavily hit.To whomever knows what they're doing and wants a quick side gig, I'm willing to pay $80US if you fix up my speed issues for both mobile and desktop. Take a quick look at the screenshots below to see the issues I'm facing.http://imgur.com/fOQAGzchttp://imgur.com/bZ0mnt0http://imgur.com/4iu39pOI don't imagine it will be overly hard to fix, I just don't have the time and technical knowledge to do it.Please send me a PM or comment if you're interested. And if it's a job well done I'm more than happy to give a shoutout in my next update!Summing Up:My focus over the next month is to land another 2-3 guest posts, work on creating a better user manual as there's been some support issues and I've spent quite a bit of time responding to emails, test out an expert roundup link building campaign, and create an informational link bait article.Well I think that's covered nearly everything. If you've got questions, tips or advice please just comment them. I like to try and get back to nearly all of your comments :)Until the next update, Adios Amigos!