#honestly i was feeling so sick and empty inside and this little guy turned that all around | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prentissluvr · 6 months

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two mugs, half empty — luke alvez

pairing : luke alvez x bau!gn!reader (can be read as platonic or romantic) ➖⟢ genre : hurt/comfort ➖⟢ cw : feelings of guilt and shame, nightmare mentions, talk of canon typical violence, crying ➖⟢ wc : 2.8K

“you look like hell.”

“wow, thank you, luke. way to compliment somebody,” you deadpan, even though he said it with a voice full of empathy. he gives you a good-natured roll of his eyes before his face returns to that concerned look you opened your apartment door to.

“but seriously, did you sleep at all over the weekend?” you want to hate how much he cares about you, but the sincerity of his voice has you nearly ready to cave.

“come in,” you offer, completely ignoring his question because the answer is “no, not really.” he raises his eyebrows at your lack of response, but steps in after you anyways. he can guess the answer well enough from the exhaustion evident in your whole figure.

you sit down with him in the kitchen, grabbing him a glass of water before he can say no to it. his gaze on you is heavy, but you ignore it in favor of examining the wood of the table in front of you. since you won’t say anything, he goes first.

“i came to check on you,” he states the obvious, “i’m– we’re kinda worried about you, you know? like, you haven’t responded to any of my texts all day and you never call in sick, even when you probably should, so i figured you’d probably be bedridden for you to make the choice to stay home.” he pauses for a long moment, as if inviting for you to explain why you’re, in fact, not bedridden, and not really physically sick at all. you don’t say a word. “so,” he prompts, “what’s up? why’d you turn down drinks with the rest of the team on saturday? kinda feels like you’re avoiding us.”

“i am avoiding you guys,” your voice comes out far quieter than you intended. you had wanted to sound nonchalant, and all you got was exhaustion. you sigh before continuing, “because you’re profilers and i don’t want to talk about it.” he sighs too.

“if it’s so bad that you went to the lengths to call off sick from work to avoid talking about it, it seems to me like it’s something you should talk about.”

you turn your head even further from him because you know he’s right. you’ve been holed up in your apartment, agonizing over what happened three nights ago, desperate to scream and cry about it to someone else. god knows you’ve done enough of that with yourself, but you’re reverting to old habits and it feels like you’re back to only knowing how to avoid, avoid, and keep avoiding.

“listen, i don’t want to push you, but i need you to know that i’m here for you.” his hand hovers over yours for a moment, silently asking permission before gently wrapping his fingers around yours. you clench your jaw and bite the inside of your cheek to keep tears from forming in your eyes. honestly, you didn’t think you could produce anymore, but here you are, trying not to cry in front of your coworker turned close friend whom you’ve probably upset by ignoring him.

luke gains a little bit of hope when you squeeze his hand. he squeezes back, hoping you feel the love and care that he puts into it. you do, and it doesn’t help your case with the whole crying ordeal.

“thanks,” you whisper. the thickness in your voice completely gives you away. tilting your head up to try to stop the flow of tears is plain old silly at this point, and he watches with a weight heavy on his heart as they overflow and fall down your cheeks. the tears catch in the light of the only lamp that’s turned on in the room. “fuck. goddammit,” you curse through the tears, well aware they won’t stop anytime soon. “luke,” you cry.

“i’m here,” he replies so earnestly without missing a beat that you begin to cry harder. that’s the last straw for him. quickly, he stands and wraps you up in his arms without a second thought. with you sitting, your face barely reaches his chest, and your arms reach around his lower torso. he’s got one hand rubbing up and down your back, the other cradling the back of your head into him. the way you hold onto him is desperate and breaks his heart, but he’s glad to give you something that you so clearly need. comfort.

“i–,” you try to explain, but you can’t get anywhere before choking on your own sobs.

“shhh, it’s okay. just let it out. i’m not going anywhere.” and he sticks to that promise, standing strong and unwavering, even after your tears run out and you can’t find it in yourself to pull away from him just yet. he doesn’t force a thing, just strokes the back of your head gently as a silent reminder that he’s there.

when you finally pull away, it’s only by a few inches, and he keeps his hands right where they are. he looks down at your face as you stare at the maroon fabric of his shirt and the tear stain you left behind. slowly, as if to not startle you, he bends down to be closer to your level. at first, you avoid meeting his eyes, but when the hand on your shoulder shifts up to your cheek and he gently wipes at the leftover tears, you let your gaze meet his. he gives you a smile, small and comforting, before speaking softly.

“i’m gonna make you some tea, alright?”

when you nod, his hands slide away from you, hesitant to let you go. your gaze follows his form as he turns and walks to the counter behind you, first grabbing your favorite mug from the cabinet and taking the liberty to grab one for himself too. then he’s at the pantry for the tea bags and he can feel your eyes on him. once the tea bags are on the counter, he’s by your side again. he gives you another soft smile as he grips the sides of your chair and turns it and you to face the counter. somehow luke just knows that him staying in your line of sight is a comfort to you, proof that he’s right there. he doesn’t want you to have to strain your neck in order to feel safe.

his silence as he fills and turns on the kettle, then sits back down beside you to wait for it to boil is a comfort too. it makes a difference that he’s not making you explain anything.

with him, the passage of time isn’t so horrible, and it’s easy to wait for the tea to be ready. when he sets the mug down in front of you, he tells you to be careful since it’s hot, even though you already know it. that’s when you make the decision that you will tell him what’s kept you holed up in your apartment for three days straight, what made you cry into his arms and skip work today.

it takes you four minutes of failed attempts to open your mouth and force a sound out of your throat before you finally get any words out. four minutes of sipping tea and thinking about how to start or how grateful you are that he’s here.

first comes a big, deep breath and another long moment of quiet. and then you realize you can’t just get into you, so you do your best and start by skirting around the actual problem.

“i know this job–” you have to clear your throat, “i know this job is really hard.” that sentence is kind of stupid purely because of how obvious it is, but you’ve at least started to tell him what this is all about. “and we’ve all learned ways to cope with that. i just– the way that, uh,” you pause to try and collect yourself a bit, but it does nothing to keep your voice from getting quiet, “the way that this last case ended? it, um, it…” suddenly you’re unsure what to even say. luke places his hand over your own, easing its shaking. you take another deep breath.”i can’t– i can’t get it out of my head. i can’t get her dead body out of my head and i can’t shake the feeling that it’s my fault.”

he’s about to say something, assure you that it absolutely was not your fault, but then everything comes tumbling out.

“i know, logically, technically, that it’s not. i know that, i’ve rationalized this whole thing in my head, even out loud, over and over and over again for the past three days. i know, we didn’t profile him to be so paranoid. i played into his narcissism like i was supposed to, like anyone of us would have, but fuck! it was still my words that set him off, the shit i said got a bullet through her brain.” he squeezes your hand in support. “and when i wake up from the nightmares, i can still hear her whimpers as he held her at gunpoint, even worse, arguably, is her mom begging me to bring her home alive that same morning. you know what i told her? that we were doing everything we could to find her and bring her back, i promised.” the tears start up again. “i told her not to give up hope because the people i work with are incredibly good at their jobs. then i see her sobbing in the corner of the police station after rossi told her that her daughter was fucking dead. and you know what i fucking did? i put my head down and walked in the opposite direction with the excuse that reid could use some help taking down the evidence board.”

your voice gets even shakier and the furrow in his worried brow deepens as you continue talking. “and i’m so ashamed, i’m so fucking ashamed, luke. i got her daughter killed and i couldn’t even tell her that–” a sob cuts you off, “that i’m sorry,” you cry. “i couldn’t face her. i couldn’t bear to see her crying about it or try and comfort her about it because i was too goddamn guilty to even look her in the eye. and now i see her and her dead daughter everytime i close my eyes.”

the silence after that is colossally heavy. to hear his softest voice calling your name as you stare into your half empty mug is enough to send more tears rushing down your cheeks. he sounds so heartbroken for you, like even he’s choked up by hearing your longwinded confession.

the way he moves is both careful and purposeful as he stands and urges you back into his embrace. this time your crying is quiet, just tears without sobs because you don’t have that left in you. it’s more short lived because it seems like your body’s finally run out of tears to give too. with one side of your face pressed against his shirt and his hands holding you there, it does feel a bit easier to breathe.

when he starts to talk, his voice is as soft as it has been all night. “i don’t want to tell you to just not feel ashamed or guilty. i wish you wouldn’t have to feel that way, really. but i want you to know that i understand. i don’t want to invalidate those things because they are real and they hurt and i understand why you’re feeling them. but it is not your fault. not for one second is it your fault. i’m sure you’ve reminded yourself this already, but we can never forget that it is only ever the fault of the people who pull the trigger on innocent lives.”

you nod because he’s right, you’ve told yourself that many times. but you realize it makes a difference to hear these things out of his mouth, not just from your mind that was only desperate to ease your guilt. you suppose that’s what he wants too, but it’s somehow better.

he pulls away from you, and positions the chairs so that you’re sitting knee to knee as he holds both of your hands in his. he looks you in the eye as he speaks, every ounce of sincerity visible in his face and easy to hear in his voice.

“and we just can’t be perfect, we can’t be expected to be everything for everyone every time. dealing with family members who have lost their loved ones is one of, if not the, hardest thing that we have to do for this job. rossi was there for her this time, and it’s okay if it was too hard for you. what you did is completely understandable and completely okay. throughout this whole case, you followed procedure and you followed the profile. we all did. so if any of us stood where you did, with the mother and with the unsub, the same exact same thing could have happened. would you blame me for it if i were in your place?” he gently wipes a stray tear from your cheek.

slowly, with his hand still cupping your face, you shake your head. “and would you forgive me for it?” it takes you a long moment of holding back more cries to answer, silently and slowly again. up and down, just once, you nod your head.

“there’s your answer. you’re allowed to not blame yourself and you’re allowed to forgive yourself. you are allowed to feel okay because we can’t fix this world, but we are making it better and we certainly deserve our own happiness. there will always be people who die and the people they leave behind. we just have to keep going because we are still saving lives. even more, our lives deserve to be protected as much as anyone else’s. we do that by allowing ourselves happiness, a life outside of all of the pain and gore and monsters of the world we work in. i’m sorry, and the things i say can’t make this all just go away. but i’m here for you and i think that being reminded of these things is a must for all of us. today’s one of those days where you deserve to be reminded.”

you don’t even think you could really cry again, even if you wanted to, but you certainly feel like it. only this time, it’s out of relief. your guilty conscience still tries to fight with his words, but the part of you that knows he’s right is holding onto his comfort with all it’s got and it’s making you want to burst into tears again. being reminded of your right to let it go is something you’ve needed, not just for this case, but for months. you didn’t even realize, but you’ve holding onto little things here and there and letting it build up until it all blew up in your face last friday night. so to let that all out and feel comforted is a relief far stronger than anything you’ve felt before.

“thank you.” your voice is back at a whisper, but you hope he can hear how much you mean it. you think he does when he smiles.

“of course. you’ll always have me, and you have everyone else on the team too, you know that.”

you nod and do your best to smile back. “thank you,” you repeat. you don’t even know what else to say. “and um, i’m always here for you too, luke. you know, just when i’m not a complete hot mess.” the lighter tone in your voice as you attempt a joke is luke’s relief, the relief that you’re on the way to feeling better.

“thanks,” he chuckles lightly. the sound makes you glad.

“hey luke?”

“yeah?” he replied in earnest, eager to give.

“can we order some thai food and watch movies until we fall asleep on the couch?”

that really makes him happy, and he grins like he always does to show it. “you know it.” so, he buys you food and tells you to pick all the movies. he lets you lean on him when you get tired, then carries you to bed and tucks you in when you fall asleep halfway through the first film. he stalls in your room by fixing the hair the falls onto your face and pressing a light kiss to your forehead. then he leaves the door cracked, just in case, and takes a while to fall asleep on your couch after putting the leftovers in the fridge. he cries a little, because he hates that it’s so hard for you, and it’s hard for him too.

at the end of the day though, he’s just glad you’ll be okay.

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carlplsrailme · 2 years

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𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐮𝐩 | 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬

summary: carl and y/n hate each other, and Carl finally has enough and decides to fuck the attitude out of her

carl grimes x fem!reader

cw: mirror fucking, heavy degradation, manhandling, hate fucking, no pet names except for 'baby'

word count: 2k

request: do you take requests? if so could you write a oneshot where the reader and carl ‘hate’ eachother and they’re forced to go on a run together by rick but then they argue the whole way there and when they get inside the house or whatever he’s sick of her attitude so he fucks her infront of a mirror and degrades the fuck out of her lol with lines like ‘look at you falling apart for me’

you stretch your jaw as the trees whip past the window, lips puckered together as you refuse to speak to your...company

"you can't ignore me forever," he says with an audible scoff, you can feel from here how his eyes rolled back in his head.

Rick made you guys go on a run together, nothing serious, just to check a convenience store's pharmacy for any leftover meds, except there are two problems.

1: Rick already knows it's a lost cause checking for meds in the most obvious of places, it'll be empty, we already know that.

and 2: You're driver had to be that jackass himself, Carl

So why does this jackass need to annoy you this entire drive? he hates you, the least he can do is shut up for himself

you sink deeper in the leather seats as you rub your lips together to keep them silent, already wishing you were back in Alexandra instead of this useless run

"Fine. don't talk, I'm just trying to make sure we come home with meds" he huffs and turns back to the jagged road, chest staggered and jaw twitching with anger

"Oh come'on, you don't actually think there's gonna be meds, right?" you almost laugh as you sit up to turn to the one-eyed boy

"This is your daddy's way of us getting along." you hiss. 'matter of factly' voice stretching through your tone

"Don't think you're so special, he wouldn't waste gas for us to start talking" he bit the corner of his lip as his grip on the wheel turned white as he tried for you not to get to him

"You've been such a fucking prick since you got here. head too big that your daddy's the main man and now you think you own the fucking place" you yell, waving your arms around as he shooks his head to struggle a laugh

"You were the one that I tried to get along with but YOU were too full of yourself to say hi, YOU scoffed and walked away the moment I approached you" You continue. raising your voice a little too loud as you make your point

"maybe if you were such a fucking brat I would be at home right now." you cross your arms and stare back at the window.

"maybe if you could read situations better I'd be at home too." he whispered. you squinted your eyes while your brows furrowed down about to turn to carl for him to elaborate but the slam of the car stopping caught your attention first

"Were here"

"Told you. absolute bullshit." you huff while you lean on the counter, Carl paces back and forth down the aisle trying to find anything to show they did something

"He wouldn't have us risk our lives for some field trip of being friends." He says, back turned to you as he picks up random things, blowing off the dust as he reads the packaging before placing it back down

"Honestly, with how shits turning out right now I wouldn't cross it off as a possibility" you sang as you messed around with a pen, laying your back on the counter as you waited for Carl to be done

"Fuck, can you try to do some shit instead of just laying there" He spat, resting one arm on the cold empty shelves as he looks at you

"Fine, dammit" you shouted, grabbing your knife and hopping off the counter, you jogged over to one of the rooms in the back, not thinking twice before swinging the door open as a walker leaned into you

"Fuck!" you said as adrenaline rushed through your veins, his grimy teeth trying to nip at your arm before your blade met his demise...well, his second demise

the walker splatted on the floor as you turn to a very shocked carl who already had his gun pointed up

"See that? the dumb shit that your dad is putting us through? He nearly nipped my arm and that's on you" you huffed, he opened his mouth to respond but you walked passed him

"I'll be in the car."

"I said I'm sorry!" his voice rang as you stomped up his steps, ready to give Rick one hell of a speech

"doesnt.fucking.matter" you said sternly, he was trailing right behind you yet you still slammed the door on him, making him even more pissed

"where the hell is that cop?" you yelled, running upstairs as Carl grabbed your arm, you tugged it off you as you started walking to one of the rooms upstairs

"just- fuck- can you listen to me?" he shouted but you twisted one of the doorknobs and stumbled into a boyish room you can only assume belongs to carl

Carl followed with you, right as you entered the room he closed the door to keep you put, closing his eyes to try and collect the very little patience he had left

"move. asshole" and then you took it

"FUCK! do you ever just shut the fuck up?!" he yelled, anger getting the best of him as you stood with widened eyes, never having Carl yell at you like this

He walked closer to you, noses almost touching as his jaw clenched in anger

"It's all I ever hear! just you whining and complaining! I'm so fucking sick of it"

you stare at him with nothing to say, completely stunned at his sudden demeanor, he relaxed his shoulders with a slight sigh

with a sudden swoop he grabbed your jaw, lips attacking yours as he made out with you

"see? so much fucking better" he hissed, teeth clanking together in another kiss as he picked you up by your thighs, slamming you into the wall, you gasped and he took that chance to slide his tongue into your annoyingly sweet mouth

your tongues lapped together as you felt something shift in him, his cock throbbing in his jeans as they rubbed up to your ever begging cunt

he groaned on your lips, taking them away for a breather as his fingers tugged on your chin to look up at him

"fuck, I don't hate you" he got interrupted by himself closing his eye as his dick asked for attention

"I never have, I didn't 'scoff and walk away' I mumbled an 'excuse me' and stubbled off because I didn't know how to talk to you" He says with a slight chuckle, your eyes were glued on his as you felt guilt build up in you

"then..." he sang, a cocky smile on his lips as you already know what he's gonna say

"you started being a fucking brat" he threw your head to the side as he let go of your chin, kissing your lips again as his hand neared your clothed pussy

he slowly rubbed you through your jeans, fluttering at the sensation but you needed more

"don't fucking tease" "don't fucking speak." he raised his voice, you zipped up immediately in shock, but you couldn't help the way his tone had your back slightly arching off the wall

he kissed you again, fingers wrapping around your zipper and unbuttoning your jeans before your panties were in view

he had you stand on your own for a second as he brought them down, hooking his fingers on your panties before pulling them down, an embarrassing amount of slick piled up on them as he looked up to you with an innocently confused stare -and an out of place smirk strained on his lips

he quickly pocketed the panties as he had his jeans hung low on his hips, enough for his boxers to be pulled down, and his cock to be revealed

your eyes were stuck on it, pretty red tip leaking with pre and angry veins traveling up his cock, it stood proud as he tapped your thighs for them to hop up on him again

your legs wrapped around his hips as he lined himself up with you, twitching in anticipation and a slight whine coming from your voice

"just wait, don't be annoying" he watched as you clenched and unclenched around nothing at his tone

he slowly entered his tip in, a groan vibrating from his chest as fucked himself deeper in your needy pussy

"Carl" you couldn't help but moan, he was stretching you out so so good, cock bullying his way in and you loved every second of it

when he was fully in, he waited -for you to adjust at first...then, just to play with you

you whined his name again but this time in frustration, rolling your hips back and forth on him as his head tilted up, moaning your name as he went back down to kiss you

"that's it baby, work yourself up f'me" he slurred, his eyes catching the full body mirror right next to you guys as a smirk found its way on his lips

he grabbed you by the chin and turn to look at yourself in the mirror

you almost didn't recognize yourself, hair disheveled as your pupils blown wide with being laced over in tears of frustration, your drooling cunt was desperately trying to give the friction you knew only Carl could give you at this point

"look at you falling apart for me" he says with a taunting smile, you begged for him to move, he rolled his eyes and gave you one sharp thrust just to shut you up

"fuck!" you whimpered at the thrust, clenching yourself tighter around him to give an unspoken message to please do it again

"fuck, don't fucking do that-" he groaned, your pussy sucked him in deeper, whining for more and he was gonna give it to you

he gave another sharp thrust as you cried out for him, he picked up the pace as he started to ram in your tight little hole,

"fuck- do you know how- how long I've wanted this?" he said in staggered breathes, you felt tears run down your cheeks as his cock hit your cervix

"-wanted to see you turning into a mess for me? just look at yourself baby" he turned your head so you can watch as he fucked himself into you, his cock stretching you out so perfectly as he hit deep in you

"C-Carl please-"

"Don't try and beg now. You were being annoying and now you have to fucking pay for that shit. I've dealt with you all.fucking.day" he matched up his words with thrusts, you yelped on his cock

your fingernails dug deep in his shoulders as you screamed his name, your legs squeezed him impossibly closer as you cried harder his cock

"'m gonna c-cum" you moaned, his dick ruthless as he somehow fucked you harder, filling you to the brim before pulling back to his tip and ramming back inside

"fuck- cum for me baby, cream on his fucking dick for me" he said as his feral thursts quicked,

"p-please don't stop" you said head empty, pretty pussy tightening around him, he grabbed your head and forced your to watch yourself as you came all over him, you whimpered in embarrassment but couldn't help the way your pussy twitched at the sight

"that's it baby, let it all out on me" he growled, you laid limp in his arms as fucked up into you, just like a little pretty doll for him to fuck, his own personal fuck doll he railed the attitude out of

"fuck! m'cumming" he hissed, cum shooting deep in your womb as he laid a few more thrusts out, he pulled himself out as he watched cum spill out of your hole, and he place his thumb to keep it in before a devilish smirk found him

"see baby?" he let go of your shaking legs for them to slide on the floor, tumbling into his chest as he tilted your head up once more, kissing your lips to whisper against them,

"it's not that hard to just...shut the fuck up"

an: ahhh my first request! I hope you enjoyed it anon <3 I had lots of fun writing this! don't be scared to message me any request I'll be happy to write something up for you guys hehe ♡ mwah! bye guys!

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lure-of-writing · 1 year

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Stop at Nothing

Authors note: I honestly love how this turned out. I am thinking about making this into a series but I would love to hear what you guys think about that!

Summary: Everything was normal until it wasn't. Possibly pregnant with Joels baby, you head off to work as a doctor in the Er only for it to be the worst shift of your life and soon your whole world is flipped upside down by a series of unguessable events. Your life was calm and easy before, go to work, come home and take care of your two daughters with Joel. Now its life or death and life never prepared you for this situation.

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word count:3.8k

Warnings: character death, cursing, guns, pregnancy

August 29, 2013

Every morning for the last week without a doubt you woke up at an ungodly hour to empty last night's dinner into your toilet. This caused concern to rise within you. There is no way you can be pregnant again right? Maybe you had the stomach flu, Sarah had just returned to school and kids tend to get sick since there are so many germs being spread around. Deep down you knew that a pregnancy test would be in your near future but after telling Joel last time you were pregnant left you a little scared about the possibility of a positive test.

November, 2012

Now Joel is a loving, patient man who knows no bounds for his family and the people that he loves. Was he stressed when you gave him a peed on pregnancy test with a baby onesie, absolutely. Did you guys go back and front on whether or not to keep the pregnancy, yes. But did that mean he loved his youngest daughter any less? No, absolutely not.

But to say that it hadn't put a stress on your relationship would be a lie. Joel was already working too late and too many hours to try and provide for Sarah and You had just Finished your residency and were officially a doctor which meant that your working hours were insane and often pushed you past your physical limits and beyond. This obviously was a concern for him, with your career having a baby at this time was less than ideal. His reasoning for not wanting to keep the child was for your health, if you were pregnant that meant everything you felt would be doubled and the stress of being a new doctor he feared would cause you to lose the baby. To you having a baby was a no brainer, plenty of people in the same shoes as you also were having babies, and if they could do it then so could you and nothing could convince you otherwise.

For days the two of you went back and forth about what to do but often your conversations would be interrupted by an innocent Sarah who needed her dad or wanted to talk to you about girl stuff, you may not be her mother but she treated you like you were. After about four days of weighing the pros and cons of bringing another life into this world you booked yourself an ultrasound to see how far along you were so you could better weigh your options but after seeing those black and white pictures you knew that there was no other option then to keep the growing baby inside of you.

Sarah had asked to spend the night at one of her friends' houses that morning which finally gave you and Joel the chance to sit down and really talk without having to put your thoughts on hold. After dropping Sarah off you entered the house you shared with Joel and started cooking dinner, you knew he wouldn’t likely show up until way past dinner time but you were hungry and needed something to distract your mind. How were you going to tell Joel that you wanted to keep the baby? What if he disagreed? Before you were able to jump too deeply into the worst case scenarios Joel walked through the door. You sat at the dinner table barely touching your food suddenly the need to eat was gone and anxiety sat at its seat at the dinner table instead. Joel could feel how nervous you were, you had something to tell him. “Darlin’ I can feel your nerves over here, what’s going on?” Without saying a word you get up and walk over to your purse that sat on the counter and pulled out the ultrasound pictures. Silently sitting there you stared at the tiny little bean looking shape and wondered what you would do if Joel disagreed with what you wanted.

Shakily you handed the pictures to Joel and he looked them over before returning to stare at you. “I want this Joel” Your voice a whisper on the verge of crying, he glances at the pictures before looking at you again “Look I know it will be hard but with my income we will be ok, you won’t have to work as much and I can take maternity leave and-” Joel moves to kneel in front of you “Darlin’ you don’t need to give me a list of reasons, ok?” His soft movement of his thumbs rubbing your stomach gave you so much comfort but you needed to hear him say it. “We’re doing this?” With a gentle nod he brings his hand to cup your cheek while the other stay on your stomach “We’re doing this, darlin’, we’re doing this”

September 27, 2013

Now your daughter was three months old and the absolute light of your life. Your pregnancy wasn’t easy, you had your fair share of struggles just like any other woman throughout her pregnancy but god was your daughter worth it all and ten times more. So to say that you were surprised you were experiencing symptoms of pregnancy again is an understatement, but to be sure you would make an appointment to get your blood checked and see if they were at the levels needed for pregnancy. But for now that would have to wait tonight you would be going in for an forty-eight hour shift on call and as much as you hated leaving your babies you had to go to work. Luckily Sarah would watch baby Evelyn for a few hours until Joel got home to handle the rest.

“Sarah babe? Do you have everything you need until your dad gets home?” She walks into the kitchen with a giggling Evelyn in her arms “For the millionth time,yes.” she glances at the clock before her eyes return to your frantic figure running around trying to make yourself coffee. “Oh shit, ok I have to go, dinner is in the fridge, there's milk for Eve in there also and if you need anything call me!” you were halfway out the door before you realized you forgot something. Turning around you kiss Evelyn's head and Sarah's cheek “I love you guys so so so much, don’t you ever forget that ok?” and with that you were out the door and unknowingly on your way into a fast unfolding nightmare.

The first twenty-four hours were ok. Not much happened but nothing happening in the hospital ment all was good. Somewhere between the thirty hour to forty-eight hour mark things started to pick up. As a trauma doctor in the ER you dealt with the worst of the worst injuries but since the ER was slammed you helped out where you could, just because you had a specialty doesn’t mean you couldn’t help. The people who were coming in were acting odd but when their blood work came back it was clear of drugs and alcohol, others were trashing about uncontrollably and one even tried to bite one of your co-workers but was restrained and sedated. A few hours after that was when shit really hit the fan, you were exhausted and it was almost the end of your shift which meant you just wanted to go home and see your babies and boyfriend, but you took an oath to help those in need no matter what so you kept doing your job even in the chaos of the ER department, until all staff was pulled into a quick meeting and was notified that until further notice the hospital would be on lock down.

As soon as you got a second you called Joel but he didn’t answer so you left a voicemail instead “Joel, I don’t know what's going on but the hospital is on lock down” you went quiet for a few seconds trying to pull your thoughts together and make a real sentence. “Look I don’t know what's happening but I can tell it's not good, whatever it is at least. The hospital has been crazy the last few hours and we have no idea what's going on.” Suddenly the tvs all play the same announcement, stay inside and don’t move. “Joel whatever happens don’t come to the hospital do not under any circumstances come here Joel. It's going to be one hundred times worse here, Joel, I’m begging you do not come here. Get the girls and get them to safety. I will find you guys I promise but I need you to keep them safe. I love you Joel, and tell the girls that mommy loves them too.” Just then a blood curdling scream is released and you hangup. Turning to see what is happening you find someone on top of another person and it looks like they’re eating them.

If the hospital was chaos before then all hell has broken loose now. The person stopped what they were doing and moved to stand up and look around as it slowly spun around in a circle. You saw something coming out of its mouth and it was moving.

When in medical school you often play a game of what-ifs. What if that happened, what if this happened? As doctors it's important to understand that anything could happen and you must be prepared for it. That's why you run hypotheticals all the time, the world is constantly evolving and if we don’t stay on top of it we will be under it. You learn a lot of things in medical school but one of the things you learn is the worst case scenario. What will happen if this disease comes back stronger or what if this one mutates, then what? And it was your job to come up with an answer that best fit the situation described. During one of your classes your professor played a video from the nineteen sixties about what would happen if a fungus evolved. And staring at the person, no it wasn’t a person anymore, you realized he was right, everything he said was correct.

Suddenly it launched itself to the people nearest to it and started attacking, you took this chance and ran. You couldn’t care less if after everything was done and calm again you lost your job or even your license for deserting your job as a doctor but something told you that wouldn’t be happening so you ran until you were in the staff room where all of your belongings were and began to grab your stuff. Frantically grabbing your car keys and bag you see other people doing the same thing, good to know you won’t be the only one losing their job.

As you made your way to your car you saw the same scene from inside paint itself on the outside. Just as you locked your door, helicopters flew by along with felt like a million other things. “Please,please help me!” the banging on your car window startled you, a young man bangs on your window, looking around you see it's getting worse, so against your breaking heart you pull out of the parking spot and start heading back home. On your way there you see countless cop cars and even military vehicles on the roads, it was like a mini war zone in the making and that couldn’t be good.

Joel's heart was racing after picking up Tommy he knew he needed to get back to his kids and get to you so you guys could move and figure this out as a family. While Tommy was driving Joel went to call you. He saw he had already left a voicemail and he listened to it. Hearing your voice sound so scared broke his heart but listening to you tell him to leave you there was more heartbreaking, leaving the mother of his children all alone at the hospital where like you said it was going to be ten times worse was a blow to the gut, but be knew you would never forgive him he put your children in danger and neither would he. So he told Tommy to head to his house and without a second thought he began to form a plan to get them out of harm's way and somewhere he can keep them safe while trying to figure out how to get to you.

One night while you and Joel were sitting in your living room you began to explain how hospitals work and what exactly you do. After a while the conversation dulls until your boyfriend speaks up “So what exactly happens if there's a huge nationwide emergency, like I know during hurricanes staff have to stay and help but what else.” Taking another sip of wine you begin to think about all the things that happen in those cases. “Well for one no matter what we go into lock down, no one in or out. If it's some sort of attack, same thing except authorized personnel so we have enough people to help with the large amount of people that would be coming in. Most of the situations are like that with a few different rules in place depending on what is happening but all in all it's the same more or less. But what I will tell you is this” You lean forward and look him in the eyes, you two may be a little wine drunk but this is important and you needed him to understand this. “If anything of that sort ever happens do not under any circumstances ever come to the hospital, don’t go to police or fire stations. Stay the fuck away from those. People who are first responders and healthcare workers will be the first to go. Why? Because we are the first defense. When someone gets sick or hurt where do they go? Either into an ambulance or to the hospital. When someone gets injured because of a fight or something dangerous happens, who responds? Police and firefighter. We are the people who help when things hit the fan so you know what that means? We usually don’t know what we’ve gotten ourselves into but we know we need to help. But in those situations it's usually mass numbers of people and if something goes wrong, we will be the first ones affected.” Joel had never thought about that before but now that you said it, it made sense maybe a little too much sense. What you said scared the shit out of him, mostly because that meant everything you said you understood and acknowledged, that something on a mass scale could be the reason you aren’t on earth anymore was terrifying. “I guess that does make sense but damn I never thought about that.” Shrugging you respond “Most people don’t but it’s one of the realities of being a healthcare worker.”

Joel's mind comes back from memory land right as they pull up in front of his house and see Sarah there holding Evelyn slowly backing away from the Adler woman. Jumping out of the car he puts himself between the old lady and his daughters. “What are we gonna do Joel?” Just then the lady jumps at her and he swings the wrench at her hitting her in the head. Quickly he turns around and ushers his children into the truck before they take off. Sarah was quick to notice a missing person. “Dad, where's mom?” Three simple words yet they shook him to his core. On any other day they would be just like every other question she asked but today her voice was shaking and when he looked back at his babygirl tears were in her eyes and her voice sounded so scared. “Don’t worry baby, momma is going to find us. She promised.”

You returned back to the road you lived on to see it was a mess. Street lights were off and power boxes had exploded. And bodies were everywhere, they may not be dead but they might as well be classified as such. Slowing down you peer out of your passenger window trying to see if anyone was still at your house but were quickly met with bloody hands banging on your window. Without second thought you speed off and don’t look back. You needed to think and think quick. Think like Joel. After taking a moment you remember that in these types of situations the military will set up camp and use that as a point of operation, it could get you killed as they most likely have a shoot to kill order but at least you could try and plus being a doctor would help right? At that moment you were thankful you had a full tank of gas and a fuel efficient car because you were sure that it was going to take you a little bit of time and driving to find one of these camps.

It had been a few days since everything started and you successfully made it into a military camp the first night before being moved to a quarantine zone. As a doctor they had you help them sort through the people coming in. Sure you were not a military doctor or personnel but you were a doctor nonetheless and they needed all the help they could get. You were placed in a tent to treat superficial wounds, not a very good way to put your training to use but as you know even a cut can lead to a deadly infection. Plus it gave you something to distract your mind with that is until you heard your name being called and not by anyone it was Joel, your Joel.

Next thing you know his arms are wrapped around your body and you're both crying. ‘Where are the girls? Where is Tommy?” Quickly you pull aways to find the answer to your questions but only see Tommy holding your youngest daughter. You rush to grab her out of his hands and sooth her as best you can but probably more so yourself, while you do so you look around Tommys figure to see if you can find Sarah. “Joel? Where's Sarah? Is she getting grabbing food or something?” Turning around to face the father of your children you see the tears building in his eyes and the heartbreak on his face and in an instant you know. Sarahs gone. You feel the urge to throw up and that's what you do, handing your surviving daughter back to Tommy you run over to the trash can and empty what little food you did have in your system.

If you're being honest you don't remember much of that day. You remember Joel and his arms around your body, feeling your daughter against your chest and seeing Tommy but other than that, it’s blank. You knew it was a trauma response, a way of your body trying to protect itself. And you were thankful for it because you never wanted to relive that moment again.

Now you had to focus on protecting your daughter, keeping her alive and fed. Making sure Joel was as ok as a parent could be after losing a child, and making sure Tommy didn’t get any stupid ideas. For the most part you forgot about the potential pregnancy to busy wrapped up in trying to survive in this new way of life. But then you missed your period and your breasts started to hurt and every smell was making you nauseated. You knew without a doubt that you were pregnant. Unfortunately you never got the chance to tell Joel. A Member of the military came to inform you that you were being moved to the Denver QZ. “Right now” this started you “Um ok let me go tell my family so we can grab our things.” in that moment you failed to see the man's grim expression. “No ma'am, just you and your child are permitted to go.” This frustrated you and you were going to give him hell until he let your family go with you. No way in hell were you going somewhere that Joel and Tommy weren’t.

You burst into the tent that you and your family had been sharing with strangers the past few weeks with the military man right on your heels. “Listen to this Joel!” Your announcement and startled look caught his attention as you grab your baby from Joel waiting for the random man to repeat what he said to you. “We will be moving her and your daughter to the Denver QZ, no one else is permitted to join her.” Joel was quick to his feet and in the man's face “Like hell you’ll be taking my wife and children somewhere I’m not!” Other military persons moved into the room with guns pointed, it didn’t take much to be killed these days. But that wasn’t what you focused on. Joel said children as in more than one, but it wasn’t plural it was just one and it was just Evelyn.

“Sir, you need to step back and remain calm!” Someone yelled causing your baby to cry. You silently shushed her as hot tears ran down your cheeks. “Don’t tell me to remain calm when you are trying to take my family away from me!” One man nods to another man and suddenly you feel a barrel of a gun to your head. “You either calm down or we kill her.” Joel felt his blood run cold as he saw what was happening before him. He wouldn’t let these men harm you so he stayed quiet and didn’t move. He would do anything necessary to keep you and his daughter safe. And for now that meant playing along with them. The men start to move and grab what they assume is your things. “Can I at least say goodbye?” The man holding the gun to you drops the barrel and gives a slight nod motioning for you to go ahead.

You wrap one arm around him while the other supports your daughter. “Listen to me Joel don’t try anything stupid,Ok? They will not hesitate to kill you. I will go and I will take Evelyn. I’m a high value person right now and they won’t do anything to me. I heard that people have been communicating through the radio. I'll tell them to play our song dedicated to E. When you hear it you’ll know it's me. Joel, you need to stay safe and be smart. Me and Eve need you. We will figure out a plan but for now stay alive and keep Tommy that way too, ok?” He shakes with anger but he knows your right, you’ve always been the more level headed one between the two of you. “Let's go.” the same man from earlier tells you and reluctantly he lets go of the two most important people in his life. Watching you get on that copper with Evelyn clinging to your chest was like watching the last remaining parts of his heart leave with you two. And he knew he would stop at nothing to get you two back.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #tlou imagine #tlou x reader #joel x reader #Joel x pregnant!reader #Joel x doctor!reader #joel miller drabble #joel miller series #pre outbreak!Joel #post outbreak!Joel

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melishade · 3 months

Note

Damn it. Number 1?

This ask game

Autobot Anthology. Autobots make an ice skating rink for the winter.

Halloween Movies

Emblem

Lobbing

"Primus, I hate the winter," Arcee groaned, feeling her body jolt in a shiver from the chill of the snowy winds. The Survey Corps and the Autobots were currently residing at the neutral ship. They were trying to conserve energon for the larger ship, but that meant the inside of the ship had to be cold.

"We all do! It sucks!" Sasha yelled as Connie threw some snow in her face.

"We just need to get some extra stuff and we can go back to the walls," Hanji insisted.

"I call riding with Optimus!" Jean raised his hand.

"Bullshit!" Connie and Eren yelled at him.

"What?! He has a heating system! I don't want to get sick!" Jean retorted.

"We have a rotating system!" Eren reminded.

"Well, we need to make sure Optimus is feeling well rested before we return to the walls," Hanji reminded, "If he gets sick, we can't treat him, and we don't want him pushing himself!"

Hanji hollered that last part down the hall, and Optimus finally revealed himself to the others holding an empty energon cube.

"I will properly refuel." The Prime sounded a little annoyed.

"Thank you!" Hanji called out in a faux innocent manner.

Wheeljack exited the deck of the ship, holding some wires in his servos. "Isn't wintertime super popular on Earth?"

"Freezing your ass off is popular thing on Earth?" Levi deadpanned.

"Well no," Arcee explained, "Earth has this famous end of the year celebration called Christmas. Very festive. After that, there's a bunch of other winter sports. Skating was fun. We turned the base into an ice-skating rink."

"Well, that sounds more like a luxury," Mikasa declared, "We just want to survive the winter. The closest thing to fun is just playing in the snow. But nothing festive."

"Huh, maybe that's why you hate winter so much," Wheeljack proclaimed, "You guys aren't making it fun."

"Let's just go back to the Walls," Armin sighed.

"I can take some of you guys back. I have a heating system too," Wheeljack informed.

"Yes!" Connie screamed.

"Please do!" Sasha begged.

Arcee grabbed Wheeljack's arm before the Wrecker left to put the wires in the Jackhammer.

"What's up?" Wheeljack asked her.

"Do you know how to make an ice-skating rink?" Arcee asked.

"No," Wheeljack answered.

"Want to make one?" Arcee asked.

"A little bit nice for you," Wheeljack remarked.

"Honestly, they really need a break," Arcee confessed.

"Fair enough," Wheeljack shrugged, "When do you want to get started?"

A few days later

The Survey Corps were stunned at what they were looking at. Optimus had approached them all, proclaiming that Arcee and Wheeljack had requested their presence. When Hanji pressed the Prime on the matter, he looked rather perplexed. He had no clue what Arcee and Wheeljack had planned. They had followed the Prime through the snow, thankfully, no storm was to be had. The sky was as clear as day. When they arrived at the location, they were stunned to see a large elliptical platform of ice surrounded by a wooden railing. The ice was so smooth that they could see their reflection in it.

"Whoa!" the 104th exclaimed in excitement.

"You made it," Arcee spoke up as she walked onto the rink. The Survey Corps watched as she slid towards them with grace before slowly to a stop, almost getting some ice residue on them.

"What is all this?!" Hanji asked with giddy.

"Ice skating rink," Arcee answered, "Humans on Earth use it for fun, and the humans we knew turned the base into a rink one time. I...thought you guys could use the fun, so..."

The two-wheeler gestured to the rink before her. "Surprise."

"That is quite considerate of you," Optimus praised.

"Yep," Arcee replied curtly.

"Is it...safe?" Levi couldn't help but ask as he tapped his foot on the edge of the ice.

"Oh, Wheeljack's been testing it for the past hour," Arcee answered with a shrug.

"YEAH!" Wheeljack screamed as he slid across the ice right behind Arcee. The Survey Corps were surprised to see him, but the two-wheeler didn't bat an optic.

"Should be fine," Arcee finished, "Ice skates are over there."

Arcee pointed to a row of shoes with blades attached to the bottom of them.

"And this is going to be your first time, so the railing will be super important," Arcee proclaimed as she skated backwards to provide more space, "Ready to try it?"

"Yep!" Hanji raced towards the skates and took of their shoes as quickly as possible.

"C'mon!" Armin beckoned Mikasa and Eren to follow him, and the two obliged.

"Let's have a race!" Sasha told the others as she ran to the skates.

"I'll kick your ass!" Jean swore as he and Connie followed.

As the rest of the Survey Corps went to put on the skates, Optimus noticed that Levi was remaining put in his spot.

"Do you not wish to join them?" Optimus asked him.

"Someone needs to make sure to get them to a hospital if they get hurt," Levi answered, the Prime could tell that Levi looked a little tense.

As they finished putting on the skates, the humans stared at the ice rink with apprehension. However, it was Armin who managed to muster up the courage to be on the ice. When Armin stepped on the ice, he yelped as he slipped forward and landed on his butt.

"Ow!" Armin yelled.

"Armin, are you okay?!" Eren called out as he tried to help him up, but he ended up slipping forward and hitting the ice face first.

"HAH!" Jean cackled.

"That's what the railings are for," Arcee spoke as she kneeled down and helped both teens to their feet, "The key to this is balance, similar to the 3D gear. Balance on your heels. Back straight."

Arcee helped the two of them straighten their backs before letting them go. Armin and Eren were relieved to be standing, but...

"How do we move?" Armin asked.

"Keep your balance, and one foot in front of the other," Arcee instructed, "Small steps first. Treat it like you're walking."

Both teens followed Arcee's instructions, taking slow wobbly steps forward. Mikasa was afraid both were going to fall again and rushed onto the ice, but the Ackerman suddenly found herself gliding past the both of them and across the ice.

"How do I stop?!" Mikasa called out with worry.

"Twist your feet to the side! Opposite of the direction you're going!" Arcee called out.

Mikasa did as she was told, turning her feet perpendicular to the direction she was heading, but she still ended up losing her balance and falling onto her side.

"Mikasa!" Eren called out while Sasha was laughing.

"Okay." Hanji placed a hand under their chin before stepping onto the ice, "Balance!" Hanji yelped as they waved their arms around before holding them out to keep their balance. They then started taking small steps while keeping their arms out.

"I'm doing it!" Hanji squealed as they were slowly gliding across the ice.

"I'm just gonna stick to the railing," Connie proclaimed as he grabbed onto the wood before getting on the ice. Connie yelled as his feet kicked erratically before he was able to find his balance. He took small steps, using the railing as a way to get around the rink.

"You mastered the 3D gear. You can do this," Jean psyched himself up before stepping onto the ice. Jean let out of yell as he struggled to find his balance. He ended up bending his knees together and holding his hands out before sliding along the ice, "This is fine."

Sasha scoffed. "Amateurs." The huntress cracked her neck before getting into a sprinting position. She then started running across the ice like it was nothing before skidding to a stop next to Mikasa.

"Hi!" she greeted to the Ackerman still on the floor.

"HOW?!" Eren yelled.

"I lived next to a river I had to walk across when it was frozen to get some game when food was in short supply!" Sasha answered.

"I mean...she's technically doing it right," Arcee admitted, but was still baffled.

"There's no way," Jean deadpanned.

"She's doing it like a hockey player," Arcee explained.

"What the hell is hockey?!" Connie called out.

"Human sport!" Wheeljack called out as he slid across the ice once more.

"Where is he coming from?" Armin asked in confusion.

"I'm more than willing to provide help," Arcee offered.

"Yes, please!" Jean pleaded.

As time passed, Mikasa managed to quickly pick up on skating, gliding across the ice with practical ease. Sasha still took to running across the ice, racing Jean who was just barely managing to glide. Eren and Armin held onto each other for support, refusing to let each other go. Hanji was laughing with delight before they fell once more. Even so they struggled to get back up on their feet to try again. Connie had finally gotten off of the railing and was now getting help from Arcee on how to properly balance himself.

"See, you're getting the hang of it," Arcee complimented Connie as she let go of him and allowed him to balance on his own.

Hanji yelled as they slammed into the wooden railing, but they didn't let the pain bother them as they found themselves face to face with Levi and Optimus. "Levi, come join us on the ice!"

"No thanks." Levi turned it down.

"C'mon! It's fun!" Hanji pleaded.

"Majority of you are falling on your asses," Levi retorted, "I'm surprised no one broke anything yet."

"Does bruising count?" Hanji asked him.

"I'm not doing it," Levi declared, earning a raspberry from Hanji before they pushed themselves backwards on the ice.

"Do you really wish to miss out on this experience?" Optimus asked him.

"I don't see you on the ice," Levi shot back.

"I suppose you are right," Optimus didn't deny that. He still managed to catch glimpses of Wheeljack gliding across the ice in bursts, "Wheeljack."

The Wrecker stopped when he heard the Prime call for him.

"How much weight is the ice able to sustain?" Optimus asked him.

"Enough," Wheeljack answered, "I was able to put the Jackhammer on this thing."

"Very well." Wheeljack was surprised when Optimus stepped over the railing, being mindful of the humans, before standing on the ice.

"YAY!" Hanji cheered as they glided over to Optimus and hugged his pede.

Levi sighed in frustration. "Fuck you, Prime."

"One leg!" Wheeljack shouted as he balanced on one leg across the ice, but he ended up tripping and falling over the edge of the rink and into the snow. Optimus glided over to Wheeljack to assist the Wrecker out of the snow as Levi walked over to the last pair of skates. He forced the pair on before walking over to the ice. He stopped right along the edge and stared at his reflection before stepping onto the surface. Levi kept his hands in his pockets, but he refused to take another step and skate.

"Not even five minutes on the ice, and Mikasa's already mastered it," Jean spoke, both annoyed and amazed at the sight of Mikasa and Sasha racing one another. While Mikasa skated with grace, Sasha skated with more aggression.

"There are a few tricks I could teach you," Arcee offered.

"Like what?" Armin asked.

Arcee didn't reply and merely started to skate around the rink. Arcee started to crisscross her legs as she extended her arms out, skating backwards in a circle. In the next moment, she kicked her legs upward and tucked her arms into her chest, twirling in the air three times before landing on one pede, extending the other one out.

"Okay, we can't do that!" Jean exclaimed as everyone else was clapping at the display.

"I want to do that!" Sasha raised her hand eagerly.

"We'll do the legs first. That's the easier one," Arcee decided.

Levi watched as Arcee was beginning to teach the Survey Corps are few tricks, the humans quickly falling down trying to learn it as a result. Levi grunted when Hanji hugged him from behind before taking his hands and pulling him along the ice. Hanji noticed just how tense the Captain looked, holding onto Hanji as tight as he could.

"You're okay, Captain," Hanji reassured, "I got you."

"...yeah," Levi muttered quietly as he followed Hanji on the ice. Little by little, he let Hanji's hands go before being able to skate on his own. He almost fell a few times, but quickly caught himself before he continued skating. He noticed the way that everyone was having fun and couldn't help but feel...wonder. For the first time trying something like this, it was actually kind of nice.

(Okay. I have to work on #3. Someone asked for #49. Everything else is free game.)

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koumeowkami · 8 months

Text

🪐 no celestial ; kanallen

— chapter four

"Kanata was a poor little angel that heaven couldn't help. He'd always been a tough one, not trusting anyone but his little brother Nayuta, the only person that ever made him feel love. Growing up by themselves, he did everything in his power to protect his sick brother, things that dirtied his holy hands. "It's for a good cause though", he thought. But it wasn't enough, and Nayuta died soon after.

Kanata's soul was completely spent. He became unable to feel love, and adding to his dirty dealings that soon were found out, he got cast out of heaven. Fallen on Earth with his wings blackened, he felt so lost and empty he thought he could've just died.

But a random encounter with a very annoying, persistent, stupid redhead human boy would've made him discover love again."

2389 words

genre: supernatural, hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: none

previous ✧ next

"...And who the fuck are these people now?"

Kanata's head was spinning. Having to deal with that Suzaku bastard was already plenty enough, he definitely didn't need other nosy people to bother the fuck out of him. He wondered if all humans were like that, unable to mind their own business; at least now he knew why he hated them so much.

"Yeah, um..." the guy stuttered again, probably because Kanata was looking at him as if he was ready to kill, "they're my roommates. I didn't know they were there either, to be honest..."

"I'm sorry, Allen! We were worried about you..." the pink-haired one spoke, joining their hands together, "It looked like you constantly had something on your mind and it was annoying to see" the mushroom-head continued, eyeing Kanata weirdly. He didn't know why and it was getting on his nerves.

"So... do you want to take this stray kitten home? Honestly, I don't want him to get my house dirty."

So he was of those filthy rich guys, huh.

Although he was used to being treated like that, it had always made Kanata's blood boil. Those people represented everything he hated the most: they ruined his and Nayuta's life, never helped them when they needed it despite having all the means to do that; they just watched the twins suffer and pretended they didn't exist. Of fucking course everyone would've been like that on Earth, too. He didn't even know why he was expecting something to begin with.

"Are you pickin' a fight with me!?" he snarled. If that guy thought Kanata was scared of him, he was so damn wrong. He started inching towards him.

"Oh, do you maybe prefer being called a rat?" Mushroom-head provoked him, "Sorry, but I don't take part in such vulgarities. You better do that with people of your kind". He smiled. God, he really wanted to beat the shit out of him.

"HAH!?"

"Hajun, stop being an asshole, will you?" Pink Hair intervened, then turned to Suzaku, "Allen, did you guys meet here?"

"Uh... yeah, a week ago" he scratched the back of his neck, "he has no other place to go, so I was trying to help him. I can feel he's not a bad guy... so guys, please."

The redhead looked at his friends with big puppy eyes, begging them. Kanata couldn't stand that look. He just hated being pitied like that, but something deep inside of him didn't want to stop him anymore. He could've done anything to drive that annoying little bastard away. He could've shown his black wings, could've proven he was an angel in order to scare him, but would've that been enough? Fighting again and again would probably only be a waste of time and energy. But was it really the only reason he was about to admit defeat? Kanata honestly didn't know anymore; his thoughts just turned into a mess whenever he was around that kid. The flames of his soul were desperately trying to burn the ice around Kanata's heart.

"...Are you gonna stop botherin' me if I agree to this?" he started, making Suzaku turn around, "Will you finally leave me alone? I'm so sick of you stickin' to me like that."

"Sure! I told you, the apartment is big" he smiled, "you won't be bothered. We'll make one step at a time."

"Stop actin' like we're gonna become besties or somethin' like that, it makes me gag" Kanata looked away. He feared that if the redhead kept shining just a bit more, he would've turned him into dust. So annoying.

"It seems we agree on something, at least" Mushroom-head spoke again. "If Allen is so desperate about taking the stray kitten home, then I guess I can't say no?" he huffed, "However, I can kick him out whenever I want to if he messes up. It's still my house, after all."

"Come on, Hajun... he doesn't look like the kind of guy who causes problems" Pink Hair said, turning their gaze on Kanata, "Allen is naive, but not enough to let weird people into his own house!"

"Hey, stop treating me like a kid!" Suzaku pouted, again. He looked so damn punchable. "Then that settles it! Thank you guys, I love you!" he hugged the other two so strongly they were gasping for air, then went towards Kanata.

"Don't even think of huggin' me! Who do you think you are!?" Kanata was panicking. He hadn't been close to another being in ages and got so unused to it he didn't know how he was supposed to take it anymore. Fine by him, human interactions never really mattered to him as long as they weren't with his brother, but this somehow got him more nervous than it should have.

"Ah, sorry... I promised not to bother you, didn't I?" the redhead smiled shyly, "I'm pretty sure someday I'll be able to hug you, though!"

"Yeah yeah, sure. Your friends are leavin' us behind, by the way." he pointed towards the park's entrance and started running in that same direction. He could hear a muffled "Oi, wait for me! " from behind him but he didn't look back.

Why the fuck was he even blushing for?

— ☾ —

Kanata couldn't believe his eyes. That apartment was huge, in a massive skyscraper. He had never seen something like that before, being used to the small ruined buildings of the slums back in the Celestial Kingdom; many people there, including the twins, didn't even have a home in the first place. He had missed that warmth.

"If only Nayuta could feel this, too..." he thought. He felt horrible knowing he couldn't share it with his brother, guilty that he had originally planned to rot somewhere in the streets to reach him, since he had nothing to lose anymore. He was still alone, after all; living in the same space of those humans didn't mean anything to him.

"I'm sorry, Nayuta..." he muttered, his voice so quiet no one even heard him. Then, a huge smile in front of him pulled him out of his thoughts.

"We're finally here! Make yourself at home, yeah?"

Mushroom-head interrupted him, "Before making himself at home, I'd like him to take a shower. He stinks" he said while walking to what seemed to be the kitchen, "I'll make dinner in the meantime."

"I don't have other clothes, though..." Kanata said in a small voice. He didn't like how things were turning, as he already knew that the answer would've been -

"Oh, no worries about it! Allen is gonna lend you some!" Pink Hair cheerfully replied with a smile.

"Why me!?"

"Why him!?"

The redhead and Kanata screamed at the same time, the former astounded and the latter clearly pissed. Yeah, things were definitely turning worse than he expected.

"You dummy, Hajun's clothes would be too big on him so you're the only option left." they turned to Suzaku, then glanced at the poor boy, "That is, if he doesn't want to wear some frilly dresses~? He'd be so cute in them, like a little doll-"

"No fucking way!" Kanata was so embarrassed he thought his cheeks were about to explode from how much they were hot. Why the fuck did they enjoy playing with him so much?

"Then it's decided! The bathroom is over there" Pink Hair pointed to a door in the corridor, "See you later~" they said before disappearing in their room.

Suzaku then turned to Kanata, a bit embarrassed himself, "Well, then... I'm gonna bring you some clothes later" he smiled softly. He was blushing a tiny bit, Kanata noticed it immediately. He suddenly got that weird feeling in his chest, the same one he had after meeting the redhead for the first time. And once again, he did his best to ignore it.

"Yeah, um... thanks" he said looking at the floor, "By the way, if you even dare to peep in while I'm showerin', I'll kill you" he went back to his intimidating gaze.

"Whoa, uh... believe me I won't!" the redhead gulped before dashing towards his room. Kanata didn't know if it was because he successfully got scared or he was simply embarrassed. Maybe both.

— ☾ —

"Hey, you don't look bad dressed like that!"

Kanata appeared in the kitchen wearing some black sweatpants and a grey hoodie. Those would look just right on Suzaku, but that bastard was at least 15 centimeters taller than him; this resulted into him looking tiny as hell and he hated it.

"Yeah, you look cute! I mean, my clothes still look a bit big on you but-"

"Stop lookin' at me! I ain't cute at all!" he screeched, stomping towards the nearest chair and sitting. That was the reason why he hated being small. He definitely was not cute, and he felt like dying even more when the redhead said it. For the second fucking time, even.

"Exactly. Now can you all sit, please? Let's have dinner before it gets cold." Mushroom-head sat at the table, showing some food Kanata had never seen before. Not that he used to eat a lot when he was in Heaven, but he had no idea how human food was supposed to taste or look like.

"...The hell is this?" he questioned, while he let the food sit on his tongue, "Never seen this kinda stuff before."

"Please don't talk while you're eating, it's gross" the other guy sighed, "It's samgyeopsal, a Korean dish. I'm Korean, so I cook these traditional dishes often."

"Oh, I just realized I didn't introduce you guys to each other!" the redhead suddenly raised his head from the plate, "Kanata, these are Hajun and Anne", he pointed first towards Mushroom-head, then towards Pink Hair.

Kanata didn't reply. He could care less about their names. Hell, he didn't even bother to call Suzaku by his actual name. They weren't close and surely will never be, so that didn't matter, right?

"Well, Kanata doesn't seem to be the talkative type, does he?" Anne looked at him a little concerned, "He must be really tired. Honestly, I can't wait to go to sleep, too~"

"Yeah, we should hurry up. I'm also kinda sleepy..." Suzaku yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"Uh... where am I supposed to sleep, anyway?" Kanata intervened, at this point craving to be finally left alone and have some time for himself.

The redhead nervously laughed, "Ah... well, about that..."

"You told me I got to have personal space! Do you call sharing a room «to have personal space»!?"

Kanata wasn't mad. He was absolutely fuming, mentally regretting ever saying yes to that dumbass. This was probably one of the most disastrous things that could've happened to him: he already couldn't manage to sleep alone anymore, but having a stranger in the same bed as him sounded even worse. He couldn't believe how the redhead had accepted this thing right away, as if it were normal; he really was way too naive and it irritated him so damn much.

"I'm sorry, okay! I worded it a bit wrong." Suzaku took a step back from him, who looked like he was gonna jump on him at any second. "The apartment is big and you can go wander anywhere you want to, but we only have three bedrooms! And I'm definitely not letting you sleep on the couch." he concluded, looking dead serious for once.

Honestly, Kanata didn't mind sleeping anywhere, as long as he had at least a roof on top of his head. But he got to the conclusion that arguing about this wouldn't have led nowhere, since that guy didn't seem to budge.

"So here's what we're gonna do! I got my sleeping bag here" he proudly showed that weird puffy bag to Kanata, "I'm gonna sleep on the floor with this, while you can use my bed. Sounds good?"

He really couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was he really that determined to stay in his room and still give him some space? To a random kid met in the park, who could've seemed suspicious in any possible way?

What the hell was wrong with this dude.

"Alright..." that was all he could say, a bit taken aback but mostly too tired to think about anything else to say. So he swiftly got on the soft bed covered in red sheets and turned on the opposite side, facing the door. He heard a faint "Good night" but didn't reply. The room fell silent.

He knew he wouldn't have slept as always, but at least he finally got to close his eyes for a while. There was the tiniest bit of comfort in that.

And then, it came back.

The image of his dear brother passing away with a smile on his face, cursing him forever, making him remember that the only thing he ever loved in this shitty world disappeared. The voices would tell him it was his fault. It was his fault he wasn't a good boy and their mommy didn't love them. It was his fault he wasn't a good brother, who couldn't even protect his precious little treasure. It was his fault he was left alone and deserved it.

He didn't even realize he ended up crying in his sleep, calling Nayuta's name.

"Nayuta... miss you..."

Allen was almost falling asleep when he heard some sniffling from over the bed. Slowly and cautiously, he got up and got closer to Kanata, who was talking in his sleep. He couldn't quite register what he was saying, though.

"He must be having a nightmare..." he thought, noticing the kid was shivering while slightly holding out his hand, as if he was trying to reach out to someone. Before he could even process what he wanted to do, he took his hand, but luckily Kanata didn't wake up. Instead, he gradually stopped crying, until he turned into quiet snores.

Allen smiled, hidden by the darkness of his room. He slightly got up from the bed, but the boy's grip on his hand was so strong he just couldn't go anywhere without waking him up. So he just stayed there, laying down a bit far from Kanata not to bother him.

"How am I gonna explain this to him tomorrow?" he asked himself, falling asleep.

#🪐; no celestial #paradox live #paralive #kanallen #allenkana #allen sugasano #kanata yatonokami #I'M LATE. SORRY #also i'm afraid you guys have to wait for a while for updates cause exams are coming up #see y'all in late september :(#(i'm publishing this chapter on ao3 in a couple of days. i promise)#this is a big one so i hope you like it 🫶🏻#and as always!! comments and asks are appreciated :3

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mswyrr · 10 months

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Below is the 2nd part of Chapter 1 of my Sydcarmy fic, copy/pasted due to AO3 problems and post word limit here on tumblr.

Complete info on the fic and the first part can be found here.

The L ride to his apartment was quiet. Sydney stared out the window and tried to let her brain go into sleep mode watching the lights of the city pass. Carmy was quiet too. A weary, compliant blankness had come over him since the alley.

By the time they got inside his place, she was dead on her feet, yawning and nearly tripping over the new weight bench he’d bought. She frowned down at it and then glanced around, looking for anything else he’d changed. But there was nothing. It was the same miserable, empty bachelor pad.

There wasn’t even any fun guy stuff like a PS4. Did he do anything but go to work and work out?

His voice startled her out of her daze. “You look beat,” he said, his expression concerned, like she was the sick one here. “Why don’t you take the bed?”

Sydney waved her hand. “I’m not going to put you out of your bed–”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I sleep on the couch most nights anyway.”

“Um,” she was so exhausted she felt feverish, honestly. She swallowed hard. “Well. Okay. Yeah –” she nodded, feeling like a bobblehead, “okay.”

He put his hands out, like he had earlier, palms up, like he was trying to appear nonthreatening. “Can I help you with your coat?”

She made a face, shrugged. “Sure, I guess.” It wasn’t like she couldn’t do it herself, but it seemed important to him. She watched as he approached and then, ever so gently, slipped it off one arm and then the other. She felt his hand lightly touch her shoulder in a quick caress.

It was only a moment, but the look on his face was so fucking sad. Like he’d shattered something precious. But that wasn’t true. Whatever she was, she wasn’t broken, and neither was their friendship.

“Do you need a hug?” she asked.

His eyes widened and then darted away. “You don’t – have to do that, Syd.” He turned and busied himself hanging her coat on a peg next to his own. “It’s okay.”

Syd stepped closer, touched his arm. He froze, staring at the coats on the wall in front of him. The muscle under her hand quivered, but he didn’t turn to let her embrace him.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she said, and just stepped up and put her arms around his waist from behind. He was, like, all muscle. He was tense too, like she was going to do something to him. It was kind of weird, actually. All hard with no squish.

She rested her head against his shoulder. “Come on, man,” she said, “come on, it’s okay.” She was so tired and her head hurt.

He heaved a deep breath. She felt it move through him, expanding his rib cage under her arms and deflating again. “You’re never going to look at me the same way again,” he whispered.

His head bowed, like he didn’t have the strength to hold it up anymore.

It tugged at her heart. She rubbed her head against his shoulder, nuzzling the hard muscle. She was revising her opinion of those really jacked guys in movies now: no squish at all was kind of sad. “You don’t know that,” she said.

“How could you, after what I–” His whole body tensed up harder, a tremor passing through him. It was so strange. She could actually feel his mind getting all twisted up through his body.

On impulse, she tightened her hug as hard as she could and the shuddering stopped. He relaxed, going limp under the pressure. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“No,” he said. “It’s – nice.” There was a hint of wonder in his tone, which she took as a good thing.

“Okay,” she said. She could feel her own arm muscles straining, but she kept her hold tight around him. She swayed a little, moving slowly sided to side, and he went along, moving with her. He felt better to hold now, more human and less like she was hugging a block of wood.

She idly thought about how to get him to eat more and work out less. It was possible to take the obsessive gym rat stuff too far. It just wasn’t healthy. But she guessed that was true of a lot of things in his life.

Still, somehow, it was going to be okay. She told herself this, testing the idea out as she used their gentle swaying to soothe herself as much as him. He was a mess, but people dealt with this stuff all the time, didn’t they? That’s why there were experts. There was a whole thriving economic sector of people who knew what to do about this.

She sighed, linking her hands together in front of him to make holding on easier, and snuggled against the comforting warmth of him. He fit against her so nice, just the right size to cuddle. As they swayed, she relaxed enough that she started humming in time with their impromptu slow dance, something sweet working its way up from her memory.

After a while, she realized it was one of her Dad’s old favorites, Sam Cooke’s “You Send Me.” She smiled against Carmy’s shoulder as she hummed. She loved that song. The melody was so warm and gentle.

Then the gears clicked over and she remembered: that was Mom and Dad’s song. Their song. The lyrics were extremely fucking romantic. The thought jolted her and she let go, stepping back and clearing her throat.

That was not a place she was going with her troubled guy friend right now. She hoped Carmy hadn’t recognized the tune.

“Um. Yeah, so,” she was bobbing her head too much again, “goodnight.”

He turned to look at her, confusion in his expression, but just nodded back at her. “Goodnight.” He gestured toward the back of the apartment. “You can have the bathroom first. There’s a new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet.”

He looked as uncomfortable as she felt.

Christ. Had he recognized the song? Or was the whole cuddling thing just too much?

“Thanks, that’s – that’s great. That’s, you know –” she felt like an idiot, “dental hygiene is important.”

He raised his eyebrows, but just nodded again. Placating the freaky lady from work who had invited herself over to grope him and steal his bed. “Yeah,” he said. “Important.”

Sydney turned on her heel and tried not to look like she was making an escape as she fled to the bathroom. She messed around in there as long as she could, dreading seeing him after her little performance.

Coming on to the crazy guy was a really bad idea.

She felt guilty for thinking about it that way. It was an Old Richie kind of thought. But it was true. And surely being a good person didn’t mean she had to pretend like humming love songs to someone who was that unwell was a good idea?

It wasn’t like she was against ever dating someone with his issues. But only after he got his shit together. She guessed that would take a lot of therapy and medicine. And then he’d still technically be her boss – if The Bear didn’t go under in the next ten months. It was all so theoretical.

She brushed her teeth twice, playing for time, but then started feeling guilty. He’d let her use the bathroom first. It wasn’t polite to hog it. When she poked her head out, he was on the couch, watching a cooking show. She called out a cheery “goodnight!” and darted into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her firmly.

She pulled off her shoes and found that the bed really hadn’t been slept in much. The crisp, white sheets and blue quilt all smelled clean and like nothing, like hotel bedding. She thought she might have trouble getting to sleep, but the moment she lay down the warm, welcoming darkness drew her in, and she slept.

After a couple hours of sleep, Sydney woke up and stared at the ceiling, cursing her insomnia. At home, she had ways of dealing with it. There was her special chamomile blend tea, her favorite fuzzy purple blanket, and her bookcase of comfort reads. But at Carmy’s place? After tip-toeing to the bathroom and back, she was just stuck in his sterile bedroom with nothing but her phone for company.

For lack of anything better to do, she sat down on the bed, cuddled the pillow close and went for an old familiar pattern: research. Learning about something always made her feel better. She googled “self harm psychology” and started scrolling through websites that looked trustworthy.

Reading the American Psychological Association’s cool, clinical prose made her feel like a weight had been lifted off her. The first thing she learned was that Carmy hadn't been lying: this wasn’t about suicide. It was a person trying to cope with “unmanaged psychological distress.”

This wasn’t actually a life or death thing. It just looked really upsetting from the outside.

One website with advice for families said never to ask the person the why question she’d driven at earlier. Remembering one experience could trigger another. Sydney literally pressed her palm to her forehead at that and sighed. Jesus. That’s why he’d seemed to get so lost when she’d asked him to think back over it and explain.

But how was she supposed to know? She wasn't going to beat herself up over not knowing anything about this stuff. One of them doing that was bad enough. She read a little more, bookmarking a couple websites. What she read eased her mind enough that she laid back down and started to doze as she scrolled.

#my writing #my fic

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adrenaline-whump · 1 year

Text

Fade to Sunrise

Summary: Cade wasn’t OK with dying, but he wasn’t really prepared to not die, either.

Context: Immediately after In the Wind, after the phone call that confirms Hank is OK.

This is all @redwingedwhump’s fault for saying nice things about my team dynamics. :)

~~~

“First,” Donnie said, “Let’s run you by a hospital real quick to get checked out.” “First, we’re going to pick up Hank,” I said. Hank was in South Carolina without any way to get back to us, so we had to go get him. The plan was to meet him at the highway welcome center just past the state line. “We only need one car for that,” he said. “Alex can go get Hank, and we—” “It’s not like I’m bleeding out. I’ll be fine. I'll go later.” He gave me an exasperated look, but no way were they going to drag me to a hospital right then. I’d just talked to Hank, so I knew he was OK, but I needed to see him face to face. I don’t know why. I just did. The drive was pretty miserable, although that wasn’t Donnie’s fault. He asked me if I’d rather talk or listen to music, so I chose music. And then every other song seemed to be some guy smashing his guitar while screaming about not being OK. I could've asked to change to another station, I guess. But he might have asked why, and explaining felt like too much work. I’d run out of energy a long time ago, burned through all of it waiting for Owen to finally get around to killing me. If I’d had any reserves, I’d burned through those too. And it just wouldn’t end. I felt hot and hollow, like the last log in a campfire, ready to collapse into sparks and ash. The longer we drove, the more scrapes and bruises woke up and started complaining. I started to rub my eyes and stopped when I saw the back of my hand was scraped to hell. When had that happened? I couldn’t remember. I remembered walking into the cabin. Nothing was out of the ordinary, or so I’d thought at the time. I watched the replay in my head, over and over, looking for where I’d screwed up. The door had been locked when I got there. I didn’t think I could’ve mistaken an unlocked door for a locked one. Then what? The light in the kitchen had been on. I’d assumed one of us had left it on, but I probably should’ve wondered, right? If I’d paused for one second and looked down the hall, maybe everything would have turned out differently, and I wouldn’t have come so close to getting Hank killed. What the fuck was I going to say to him? There wasn’t an apology strong enough for the gnawing disgust that snarled my insides. “How you doing over there?” Donnie asked. “Fine.” “Of course.” He let out an exaggerated sigh. “That hurts my feelings, dude. Lying to my face like that. I thought we were friends.” “I’m lying to your face because we’re friends.” “Points for honest lying, I guess. Or lying honestly. You don’t have to be fine, but you do need to tell me if you feel sick or dizzy or something, in case I need to divert to the next hospital.” “OK.” He was keeping his curiosity to himself, I could tell. He was dying to ask what had happened, where I’d been, how everything had played out. He and Alex and Hank had spent too many stressful hours waiting and wondering what was going on. And now here I was, the guy with the answers. I watched the dark landscape scroll by the window. Talking about it would mean thinking about it, and I was already doing too much of that. We crossed the South Carolina border, and my heart started thumping harder. It wasn’t like Hank was going to yell at me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him raise his voice. But whatever he’d gone through between when I walked away from him and now was my fault.

Too soon, a blue sign pointed us off the highway to a tidy little brick building with picnic tables on either side. Hank was sitting on a bench out front. As we pulled in, he stretched a little and stood up, like it was totally natural to be hanging out at an empty rest stop at 4:30 in the morning. Donnie pulled into the closest space and glanced at me expectantly.

I almost couldn’t get out of the truck. I felt sick again. Maybe that bump on the head would turn out to be a fatal head bleed after all. On the plus side, if I stood up and immediately passed out, I wouldn’t have to decide what to say. Unfortunately, I stayed conscious the whole time my feet got me out of the truck and walked me toward Hank. He seemed OK, as far as I could tell, though I couldn’t make myself look him in the eye. I took a deep breath as I stopped in front of him. “Hank, I—” “C’mere, buddy,” he said, and hugged me like he was my dad. I almost lost my shit. Again. All the apologies I’d set up in my head fell apart, and I just croaked fuck into his shoulder. And then said it a few more times, as my eyes burned and I tried not to drip anything on his shirt. He was there, solid and real, the same Hank as always, which meant that even though I’d still fucked everything up, it wasn’t as bad as it could��ve been. He finally let me out of the hug so he could look me over. “You look like shit,” he observed. “I know,” I said. “Listen, I’m...I’m sorry.” “Sorry for what?” He sounded honestly baffled. “We’re all going home, buddy, and that’s all I care about.” Back to Memphis. Familiar things. Normal things. Home. I didn’t know why it felt so disorienting, like being underwater and the surface isn’t where you thought it would be. He glanced at the brick building. “Want to run inside and wash up a little? The sinks have decent hot water.” Alone? It struck me as another strange idea. Free to just walk off by myself...that sounded good. Really good. And hot water sounded even better. ~~~ As Cade disappeared into the building, Donnie and Alex joined Hank. “Hey, guys. Thanks for coming down.” Donnie shook his head. “You know, I wasn’t a big fan of this plan...but I have to admit, you are looking remarkably not-dead.” Hank shrugged deprecatingly. “It’s a talent.” “Talent.” Alex’s deep voice had the slightest edge. “If any of us dived into shit expecting talent to get us out, what would you say?” “It could’ve been a bad call,” Hank said evenly, “but it was mine to make.” “Yeah.” Donnie rubbed his head. “But let’s not ever do that again, OK?”  

“Agree.” Hank tilted his head at the building. “How’s he doing?” Alex and Donnie looked at each other. “Not great,” Alex said. “Yeah,” Donnie said. “He’s pretty fucked up.” “Did you take him anywhere?” Donnie snorted. “You know how he feels about hospitals. He says he’s not hurt that bad. But he can hardly move his left arm, he holds himself like he’s got a cracked rib or two, and he admitted he took a couple of skull taps, though he says he didn’t get knocked out. That’s physically. Mentally...” Donnie paused, uncharacteristically serious. “I’m not criticizing, just observing: if Owen had ventilated you, I think Cade would’ve lost his mind. He’s better now, but he’s still...not great.” “Well, he hasn’t slept, probably hasn’t eaten since lunch yesterday...” “Dehydrated,” Donnie said. “I don’t think Owen gave him anything that whole time.” “And then I sprang the trade on him. Lucky for both of us that it worked.” “For all of us,” Alex said. “It’s not like Donnie and me would’ve handled it any better.” Hank nodded. “Fair. The three of us can debrief after we get back. I’ll talk to Cade as we drive. Will you two head back to the cabin and bring our gear back to Memphis? We can sort out everything at the office.” “Will do. And you’ll head straight back?” “Mostly. That boy’s going to get checked out at a hospital if I have to frog-march him in there myself.”

#in the wind #cadeverse #cade #hank #donnie #aftermath of trauma #angst #team

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she-karev · 4 months

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Reconcile

Chapter: Two of Two

Age Rating: 12+

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

AN: Hey guys so this chapter also has a little bit of angst and psychopath kids, so you’ve been warned before reading.

Summary: Alex and Amber continue to work together and finally talk things out.

Words: 2857

I sit in the Chief’s office next to Alex as we explain to the parents our concerns over Missy after running it by Bailey. She was disbelieving at first but after we told her what Missy was like when we talked to her including her fascination with Gia’s death and my attack. After convincing her we opted to talk to the parents in private while a security guard kept a close eye on Missy at the waiting room. She wanted us to talk to the parents before calling the police. Now the mom is sitting wiping her tears with a tissue and the dad is as cold as ever.

I stayed silent as Alex started to explain the situation to the parents, “I would never want to do anything to make this worse or more complicated but Missy…she’s showing some signs that is raising our concerns. Risk taking, fascination with death, and taboo behavior that are typically associated with juvenile sociopathy.”

I clear my throat and decide he shouldn’t be the one to tell them the worst. I started this and I should be the one to bear the weight, “We um had a conversation with her and the way she acts and the way she talks…we think Missy was involved in Gia’s stabbing.” The mom is taken back and the dad doesn’t move at all like he knew it was a possibility. My heart breaks for them both, their child is on life support possibly because of their other child I would be numb too.

“That…that’s crazy.” Sylvia laughs it off and turns to Matt, “Tell her she’s wrong.” Matt just sits there numb and staring blankly at the wall destroyed. Sylvia tries again, “Matt?” Sylvia gasps, “Say something damn it!”

Matt finally turns to her and asks in a broken voice, “Sylvia, how can you be this blind? She was there just like she was there when the dog went missing and she was there when we found rat pellets in the thanksgiving turkey.” I look away as my emotions start to get the better of me and take a deep breath to calm down as the couple argue. Alex notices and holds my hand and I hold it back because this all of this…is just like the night my brother attacked me. The parents don’t notice us though thankfully.

“No your-your just upset.” Sylvia says in tears.

“Missy may have killed our child.”

“Missy is our child.” Sylvia says with a hiss.

I can’t be in here any longer and I get up from my chair, let go of Alex’s hand and walk out of the door calmly. It’s midnight so the hallway is pretty much empty. I try to make it to the bathroom but my stomach doesn’t let me and in a panic I open the red biohazard trash can and vomit my lunch inside. I don’t even realize someone is rubbing my back in comfort until I finally dry heave and wipe my mouth. I look and see that it was Glasses who rubbed my back and the idea that he saw me throw up makes me want to hurl again. But since I got my lunch and breakfast out of me I opt to pull away from him and go to the locker room to brush my teeth. He follows me.

“Are you okay?” Levi asks.

I hold my head up high so I don’t show weakness, “I’m fine tell anyone what you saw and I will perform a rectal exam on you without a lubricant.” He looks at me scared and backs off when we enter the lockers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After I brushed my teeth I headed back to the Chief’s office and ran into Alex on the way. He looked wrecked and honestly who could blame him after what just happened.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t stay it’s just I was-”

Alex shakes his head, “Don’t worry about it I get it this…this is triggering. A sibling tried to kill another sibling how can it not be?”

I groan at the comparison, “Yeah well, the only difference is Aaron was hallucinating and Missy was just having fun if she can feel that. It makes me sick.”

Alex rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah me too…are you okay?”

I sigh and rub my forehead as I feel a splitting headache, “I feel like taking a whole bottle of ibuprofen just to get away from this headspace.” Alex raises an eyebrow at my suicidal comment, “Don’t report me I’m being dramatic. How are the parents?”

“Mom stormed off and dad went back to Gia’s room, he’s trying to hold it in but this is wrecking him.” Alex rubs his tired eyes.

“And Missy? What are we gonna do about her? Have you called the cops?”

Alex looks back at me, “Yeah, we did but without a clear confession they can’t make an arrest. They suggested a wire and I offered to talk to her again and get her to say she stabbed Gia.”

“I’ll do it.” I suggest this crazy thing because I want to see this girl pay for what she did to her sister but Alex immediately shakes his head.

“No that is not a good idea. She’s dangerous and she already killed someone, I’m not letting you take that risk.”

“Alex I would be talking to her in the middle of the hospital full of security guards, doctor and nurses.” Those facts make me comfortable to do this, “And it’s not like she’s carrying and I took boxing for two years I can handle myself. The cops need a confession and I’m most likely to get it. I’m a girl, I’m around her age and she’s comfortable around me due to me satiating her psychopath side with the story of how I was attacked.” Alex sighs and still looks uncertain, “She could do this again and she might not come to the hospital next time where doctors will question her. I want to do this and I don’t need your permission.”

Alex looks at me worriedly and finally complies, “Fine but be careful.” I nod and we head back to the Chief’s office.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the cops gave me instructions and placed the wire under my scrub along my diaphragm, I head out to find Missy. I walk around the hospital for a few minutes until I find her in the family waiting room sitting there on the table looking at her phone. I inhale and exhale because the sight of her knowing what she did makes me anxious but I told Alex I could do this and I will. I approach her and sit in front of her.

“Hey Missy.” I keep my tone calm and even as per my instructions and she looks at me surprised to see me, “I’m Dr. Karev I don’t know if you-”

“Right you’re the girl who got strangled and attacked I remember you.” She says it coldly and I continue.

“Yeah well I wanted to come by and talk to you and see how you were doing after Gia. I know when one of my brothers got hurt I would always worry about them.”

Missy shakes her head nonchalantly, “Gia was just a little baby she was always crying and begging me to play with her. She would always barge into my room and annoy me.” The way she chastises her sister is the first emotion she displayed and it’s anger.

“Yeah I had a little cousin who did that.” I lie to relate to Missy like the cops suggested and groan to play along, “It would drive me crazy.”

Missy nods, “I’m not gonna miss that.” That one sentence sends chills down my spine but I persist as I’m getting somewhere and decide to kick into high gear.

Remember when we were talking about the man who attacked me? and you said he probably did it to feel more powerful? Well it turns out you were wrong.” Missy looks at me offended, “The guy was my brother and he didn’t want to hurt me, he loved me, he took care of me and…he was just crazy and he lashed out. I don’t think he was thinking about what was gonna happen after to him or me but I don’t think he really wanted to kill me just for the fun of it.” Missy looks at me like I’m the one who’s crazy.

“Well maybe he did I mean you don’t know what he was thinking.”

I shrug, “I mean come on Missy why else would you kill someone?” I ask as genuine as I can to draw her in.

“To know if you could really do it.”

I shake my head at her terrifying comment, “No I don’t think so, I mean to actually feel the life slip away from someone else it’s…it’s way too scary for most sane people and for my brother it was-”

“No I know what he was feeling I mean I know exactly how he was feeling.” Missy says with a grin that is chilling before leaning in and whispering to me, “I was the one who stabbed Gia.” I look at her with a blank face even though my terror escalates as my fears come true, “And it wasn’t that scary. I knew what I wanted to do and I did it just like with your brother he must have felt like it was the coolest thing ever when he was trying to kill you.”

I shake my head in disgust and stand up and walk out the door as I see the cops entering and arresting Missy. I pass Alex on the way who looks at me in worry and I shake my head at him before saying bitterly, “Dysfunctional families am I right?” With that I walk to the lockers to take a hot scolding shower and leave this damn day behind me.

After my Silkwood shower, I put my clothes on and am just about to put my shoes on when Alex walks in looking as exhausted as me. I am so tired I’m not even mad at him, I’m just numb and I know that tomorrow when I see him again I’ll be mad again. It’s a vicious cycle and I have to escape before my psychosis causes me to lash out at him like Missy did to Gia. I know I don’t have sociopathic tendencies but the way I feel around him is degrading to me and the career I have worked hard to get. I need to get out before it’s too late.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex stands there looking at Amber with the same level of tiredness and numbness that she feels only he feels slightly worse because of what he needs to do. He needs to apologize and get their issues out of the way for both of their sakes. He starts by clearing his throat.

“Are you okay?”

Amber packs her stuff in her backpack not looking at him, “Sure a night of arresting a teenage psycho is just what I needed before collapsing on my bed.” Alex nods sharing her pain and her next words catch him off guard, “I’m gonna look for another program tomorrow. This thing.” Amber motions to both of them, “It’s gonna end bad and I need to get out and find something that won’t remind me of the worst time of my life every five seconds or undermine me because of my past.”

Alex looks down in shame over accusing Amber of being paranoid due to their mom and starts his apology train, “I’m sorry Amber and not just for today for all of it. I’m just sorry and I wish I could do thing differently.”

Amber shakes her head and closes her locker, “Don’t Alex don’t even bother the damage is done.”

“I never meant to hurt you.” Alex says it with sincerity and pain.

Amber looks at him with a blank face, “I’m sure you didn’t. I’m sure you didn’t even think about me. You saw a way out and you took it just like me only difference is I didn’t leave anyone behind with no defenses. Hell even Uncle Lucas gave a more of a damn than you and he hates us. But whatever reasons he had I’m sure they were better than yours for leaving.” Amber sits on the bench to put her boots on.

Alex’s shame gets deeper before he confesses an 8 year long secret, “I told him to.”

Amber looks up and raises an eyebrow, “Told who to do what?”

“I told Uncle Lucas to take you in and let you recover at his place until you graduated.” Amber pauses her laces clearly effected by his words as he continues, “CPS was gonna send you into foster care, Aaron was at the hospital and mom wasn’t a good choice so I made him an option. I gave him 8 grand to take you in and I told him I would pay him another 8 after you graduated. The bastard almost skimmed me but I told him I would report him for drug use after I found a stash of meth at his place.”

“Great place to dump your baby sister after she had her jaw reconstructed.” She says sarcastically.

“Well it was either him or do the foster lottery and you land in some rundown home with five other kids who will rip out your wires. And I made sure he was checked on. I called a cop buddy of mine and made him spy on you and him at the house and make sure he was treating you right or at least ignoring you.”

Amber ties my laces, “He did, he ignored me and I avoided him so I was glad to have one less thing for me to deal with. But just because you forced our inattentive Uncle to take me in doesn’t mean I forgive you. I appreciate what you did but you didn’t do much when you were around. The only reason I know you were there was because the doctors told me after I woke up that you held my hand for 10 minutes and then left. I tried to call you but you wouldn’t answer and maybe this whole me getting a job here was a subconscious decision to confront you and figure out why you left and that’s on me.”

Alex shakes his head, “No it’s on me. I started this by leaving and I know that wasn’t fair to you.”

Amber puts her other shoe on, “Your damn right it wasn’t.” Amber says with a vicious tone as she ties her laces.

Alex sighs and continues, “I know you hate me and you have a good reason to. I left you with a schizo mom who barely kept up with her meds and a brother I didn’t was gonna inherit the crazy gene. When I got a job here, I saw it as my ticket out of Iowa but I also saw it as my ticket out of our family. I told myself that Aaron was enough for you, that you were fine with just one brother, I sent the checks to help out because it made me feel better for abandoning you. I told myself that I wasn’t your father, that you were better off without me but you weren’t, it was clear to me that night when you needed me the most.” Amber stops what she’s doing as Alex brings that moment up and he sees it safe to sit next to her, “I held you hand for ten minutes; you were only 16, you should’ve been having sleepovers and shopping for a prom dress not being in a hospital after your brother almost killed you. I held your hand for ten minutes and then I left, Aaron was committed and so was our mom, you needed me and I wasn’t there. I told myself that I couldn’t take care of you that you were better off without me, that Uncle Lucas could do what I couldn’t. I…I wasn’t there I was the ass that can’t stand to be there and I’m older now and I know better now.” Amber is quiet as she feels a single tear down her cheek and wipes it away, “I should’ve done more for you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being your brother when you needed me, I don’t know if it’s worth anything. But I just needed you to know how sorry I am.”

Alex says that with his eyes wet as he’s letting his feelings of shame and regret show to Amber who looks at him for the first time in appreciation and as her brother. She sniffles before saying, “It’s worth a lot but…we have a lot of work to do here.”

Alex nods, “Yeah…dysfunctional families am I right?” Amber sighs and puts her head on Alex’s shoulder looking to him as a source of comfort instead of a source of pain. It’s not magically fixed between them but that night is a starting point.

#greys anatomy #alex karev #amber karev #elizabeth gillies #liz gillies #headcanon

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miserable-sarah · 2 years

Text

Feel Loved

Pairings: Sam X Reader

Warnings: Sex, language, rough sex, car sex, oral male

Requested: I have a request if they're still open. Could you do a Sam × Y/N. Y/N has been extremely close with both boys. But has had nothing but bad luck & disappointment with relationships. Y/N watches Dean & Sam hook up, and she's so lonely. She gets so frustrated that the 3 of them argue & she ends up in a bar. Y/N ends up leaving with a strange man, but Sam comes up, acts like they're a couple & the guy leaves pissed off. Y/N asks why Sam would do that to her, cries that she's lonely & in desperate need for intimate contact. She turns to walk away, Sam grabs her from behind, ghosting his lips over her ear, "I know. But I want to be the man who makes you feel loved".....a little smut, spice, possibly ending up having sex in Baby. Dean finds them there in the morning. Sorry, this was so wordy. But thank you in advance if you could do this. ❤️

I did not proofread this so sorry for any mistakes.

***

After the hunt you, Sam, and Dean were on, you laid down in bed. Your body hurt, your mind foggy, your core aching. Usually you don’t get horny after a hunt usually you want to sleep but this time? No. you wanted someone to fuck the stress right out of you. You have extremely bad luck with relationships usually they end in heartbreak, or someone mistreats you, or because of the job they leave. You never really had any good luck with relationships, so lately you’ve been super lonely. Dean and Sam usually go hook up with whoever they want, sometimes from all the motel room and sharing places you’ve walked in on them hooking up with people multiple times. They never walked in on you and why? Because you don’t hook up with people!

You let out a groan just thinking about how frustrated and annoyed you are. You just wish you could go to a bar and find someone, take them home, and get relief but it’s hard. Especially when you’re not the one night stand type. Sometimes all you wanted to do was sneak into Sam’s room and let him do whatever he wanted with you. You always had feelings for Sam but you both have terrible issues and you don’t think it’s a good idea to tell him especially if he didn’t have feelings for you. And honestly with him hooking up with girls like Dean, you’d say he doesn’t have feelings for you. If he did he’d be like you. Suffering.

You heard the bunker door open and close, followed by giggles and whispering. You rolled your eyes it was one of the boys with a girl. You sigh and stand up once you hear a door close, you go out in the hallway trying to hear where to giggling is coming from. You walk past Sam’s room and hear nothing. You stand in front of Dean’s and hear the giggling. You shake your head and walk back to Sam’s room just standing in front of the door. You’re trying decide if you should just bust in or just go back to your room. Fuck it.

“Sam?” You say opening the door peaking your head around the door. You fully open the door and are met with an empty room. Of course. You walk out to the map room in defeat. Your head snaps to the table when you hear moaning there Sam is fucking some bitch. Your mouth dropped in disbelief, that could be you! You feel anger bubbling inside you, they still haven’t even noticed you.

“Are you fucking kidding me!” You yell making them both look at you. The girl covers herself up while Sam gets all flustered, he’s stuttering like an idiot trying to say words. You give him a death glare “get out” you say to the girl leaving the room, you can hear her stumbling around.

You go to Deans room and bang on the door.

“What?!” He yells mad he’s getting interrupted

“The girls gotta go” you say, you honestly don’t know why you’re doing this. Maybe because you want them to suffer like you? Maybe because you’re sick of seeing them hook up with people? Maybe because you’re just mad at yourself.

“Yeah okay” you hear Dean scoff you get even more angry you bust open the door

“Go” you say sternly to girl on top of Dean

“Y/n what the hell!” He snaps at you covering himself you roll your eyes still pissed and go back to the map room. You see Sam sitting there dressed and the girl gone. Thank god. You sit in the seat across from him just ready to snap out. You want to yell at him for not having sex with you, you want to ask what’s wrong with him or what’s wrong with you.

Dean comes out snapping, pissed you interrupted his fun time. You stare at him and listen to him go on and on, he eventually stops and takes a seat. You stand up looking at the two boys. Dean looks pissed Sam looks ashamed. You look around not sure what to say all you know is you’re pisses, you’re so frustrated you just wanna throw one of the boys on the table and fuck them, mostly Sam but that’s besides the point. You glare at them gathering your words together

“Here’s what’s gonna happen” you start, the boys just look at you. “I’m gonna go out and, find me some man to bring home. You both are going to go to bed and leave me alone.” You say “if you can do it so can I” you say angrily at the boys. Sam looks at you in shock, Dean just rolls his eyes muttering things under his breath leaving the room.

“That’s really what you want to do? That’s how you want to be?” He asks your blood boiling, you scoff at him.

“What you can do it but I can’t? I’m not being like anything.” You cross your arms over your chest “so I just have to sit here and suffer while you guys do whatever you want?”

“No! But come on y/n you’re better than that”

“And what? You’re not?” You say with attitude

“Y/n” he says not sure what to say

“I’m going Sam” you say sternly grabbing your things

“Don’t be a whore!” He yells out to you while you walk up the stairs, you look back at him very pissed.

“Fuck you” you say giving him the finger. Asshole.

****

You’re at a bar far from the bunker, you’re sat on a stool looking around the place trying to find anyone attractive.

“Another please” you say to the bartender, she fills up your glass.

“So what’s wrong with you?” The bartender asks as she hands you back your drink.

“What do you mean?” You say giving her a confused look

“You haven’t stopped looking around since you got here. You hiding from someone?”

“No” you chuckle softly “I’m looking for someone” you say looking at your drink embarrassed

“Oh” she smirks “well that guy at the pool table hasn’t taken his eyes off you since you got here”

You look behind you at the man who was looking back at you. He’s cute. Muscles, nice hair, beautiful smile, dressed nice. You turn back around and look at the bartender. “He’s cute” you smile

“Hell yeah he is and he’s coming your way” she says turning around and walking away giving you privacy. You feel butterflies in your stomach, your heart starts racing as you hear the still next to you scratch across the floor.

“Hey” he says, you look at him. He’s even cuter up close

“Hey” you say back smiling

“I’m Mark”

“I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you”

“I uh noticed you across the bar” he says “I thought I’d come up and buy you a drink. Maybe talk?” He says he seems nervous. You look at your drink in front of you, you hold it up and take it all back.

“Now you can buy me a drink” you smile, he laughs at you calling the bartender over. She gives you a quick look and you nod letting her know you’re safe.

“Here you guys are” she smiles walking away again.

“So why are you here?” He asks

“Well to drink, have fun” you shrug “what about you?”

“I got dragged here by my friends” he chuckles “but I’m actually pretty happy they made me come” he says looking you up and down. You smirk at him feeling confident.

“Maybe you won’t be leaving with your friends” you wink taking a sip of your drink

“God, I hope not”

You spend an hour maybe more talking to this guy, he’s cool, he’s funny, he’s cute, and he’s open minded. Usually you hate taking people home, you hate one night stands. You’re making an exception for this guy. You’ve been flirting with each other, he actually made you more desperate for sex.

You cross your legs and shift a little in seat, before you can say anything you feel a muscular arm snack around your waist. You look up at Sam who is smiling at you.

“Hey babe” Sam says to you. You just look at him In shock.

“Babe?” You hear Mark ask very confused

“I’m Sam” Sam says to Mark “I’m her boyfriend”

“I-“ you stutter

“Oh, she didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend” Mark says getting up, you wanted to tell him to stay but you didn’t know what to say Sam really just embarrassed you.

“Wait!” You manage to get out “we’re not-“ you were cut off by Sam turning your head and kissing you. You heard Mark scoff but at that point you didn’t care.

“We’re together” he yells out to Mark making you shake your head in embarrassment. “Let’s go” Sam whispers in your ear grabbing your arm. Not wanting to be there anymore you follow him, first leaving a tip for your amazing bartender who is winking at you as you leave the bar with a man. As soon as you get outside and you’re walking towards Dean’s car you wiggle your arm free.

“Sam why would you do that?” You say on the verge of tears

“Because he was weird”

“Sam no he wasn’t!” You yell “Sam” you sigh “I’m just so lonely, all I do is work and sleep. I’m so tired of it being like that and lately all I want is some attention, I want sex. I see you and Dean having it all the time and I just lay in bed trying to sleep.”

“Y/n” Sam says quietly stepping closer to you, you back up.

“Sam you don’t understand.” You say tear falling down. You never really cry, you’re just so lonely it hurts. All you want is to have sex and forget about everything but once again you’re going home alone. You turn to walk away but Sam grabs you from behind, ghosting his lips over your ear,

"I know. But I want to be the man who makes you feel loved" you at Sam not sure what to even say.

“What?” You ask not sure how to respond.

His lips still by your ear your back to his chest. “I want to make you feel loved” Sam’s words sends shivers down your spine. He turns you around so your facing him. You’re in the middle of the bar parking lot but you don’t care, all you can see is him. He’s inches away from your face, his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips. He leans down and kisses your lips sweetly. You gladly kiss back.

“Let’s get outta here” he says, you both get in the car. You want to say something to break the silence but you don’t really know what to say. Sam doesn’t know how you feel about him, Sam doesn’t know what you’ve been wanting to have sex with him for a very long time now. You look at Sam and notice he has a very serious look on his face.

“So you want sex?” He breaks the silence looking over at you.

“Yeah” you say he places his hand on your upper thigh

“What kind?” He says to you moving his hand closer to your heat. His words take you as surprise. “What kind of sex, sweet, loving, rough, hard” he keeps going. His fingers lightly touching your thong.

“Uh” you stutter “all” you say biting your lip. He looks over at you giving you a smile looking back at the road. You lean over to him “let me take care of you” you say in his ear placing your hand on his boner poking at his jeans. You have a long drive back might as well enjoy it. You undo his belt, unbutton his jean button and pull his zipper down. Sam lifts himself up so you can pull his jeans and boxers down.

You gasp when you see him, he’s so big you didn’t expect him to be that big. You hear him chuckle at your reaction. You lean your head down sucking on his tip causing him to groan. You feel his hand on the back of your head. You lick and suck the tip of him teasing him making him want more desperately. Sam bucks his hips trying to make you take more, you get more wet thinking about how he’s suffering now like you have been. Sam groans before his hand pushes your head down forcing you to take more.

“No teasing” he struggles to get out. You smirk to yourself, his hand loosens and you go back to his tip, licking down his shaft, now taking as much of him as you can. Your hand pumps what you can’t fit in your mouth. You bob your head up and down you can tell Sam wants to move with you but he really can’t because he’s driving. Sam lets out a loud grunt, you bring your other hand to his balls massaging them.

You hear Sam grunting, along with car noises, and quiet music on the radio. You can’t believe this is happening finally. You didn’t want it to happen this way but you’re happy it’s happening. Sam snaps you out of your thoughts by pushing your head down making you take him all. You choke and gag.

“That’s right be a good girl and take all of me” his words are like electric shocks all down your body. You hold your head there a few a seconds closing your eyes tightly. You move back so you can breathe going back to bobbing up and down. You look up at him and see his face is just blankly staring at the road, you can tell he’s trying to hold back moans. You slowly take him all again causing him to moan. You want to smirk but you can’t. You bob your head quickly up and down, moving your hands with you pumping whatever you can’t get. His breathing changes and you feel his dick twitch. You pull him out wiping your mouth, you look at him with a smirk on your lips.

“What why?” He asks confused

“Karma” you say still smirking, you recline your seat back, you lift up your skirt showing off your lacy red thong. You see his eyes darting from the road to you. You spread open your legs so he can see more. You run your hand down your lower stomach to your panties. Moving slowly you circle around yourself, you look at Sam who looks sweaty. He wants you now.

“Should I touch myself?” You ask innocently he shakes his head ‘no’ you move your thong to the side gathering up some of your slick and resting your fingers on your clit

“If you do you’ll be punished” you almost let out a moan just thinking about it. You bite your lip and look at him while you rub your clit, you buck your hips your walls clenching around nothing. Sam trying his hardest to watch you and watch the road. His dick is so hard it looks painful, your soft moans and grunts are going right through him. He can’t wait to get you in the back seat and fuck you.

Sam finally pulls into the garage. You look at him with a smirk still rubbing yourself slowly. Sam gets out of the car and walks around to the passenger side, he opens your door and lifts you out of the seat. He bends you face first against the trunk of Dean’s car.

“I told you you’d be punished” his actions and the cold from the car catch you by surprise you let out a gasp. Sam pulls down your thong, he slaps your ass and massages it after. You bite your lip trying not moan. You’ve been waiting for this. It feels so much better than you’ve imagined. Sam’s hand slides down your ass to your soaking wet pussy. He rubs your clit before entering two fingers in you. You moan and curse under your breath. You haven’t had sex or felt anything in a long time. His fingers stretch you out, he’s curling them letting them hit your G-spot. Even his fingers feel amazing, you can’t imagine how all of him is going to feel.

“You like that? That feel good?” He whispers in your ear, still pumping his fingers in and out of you. You nod your head whimpering at how much you love this “tell me you like it”

“I like it” you stutter “it feels amazing” you moan, Sam works his fingers in you even faster. All you can focus on is how great you feel and how amazing he is. You feel your legs shake and your body get more weak. “Fuck Sam” you moan loudly. He stops everything he’s doing, your sweet Release disappears. Before you can say anything you feel Sam line himself up with you. He slowly enters your wet pussy, causing both of you to moan loud. He’s so big and thick. He stretches you out giving you a few seconds to adjust.

“Please move” you say moving your hips just waiting very impatient. Sam chuckles and moves his hips slowly in and out. You groan wanting more “please!” You beg

“Good girl” Sam says holding onto your hips slamming back in you, you scream/moan in pleasure. He sets his pace, he’s thrusting into you hard making you take all of him, his thrusts are so deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach. You can hear Sam’s grunts as they echo of the walls in the garage. You’re moaning and saying curses under your breath. You can’t believe you’re actually having sex with Sam right now, you can’t help but to find it even more hot that he came to find you so he can have you all to himself.

“Fuck Sam, you feel so good” you moan out letting him know he’s doing a good job. Sam moves his hand down to your clit making you spread your legs more. He starts to rub your clit, fast. You feel your body shaking again just wanting to cum so bad.

“You want to cum baby?” He asks

“Y-yes” you struggle to get out

“Beg me.” He says sternly. Fuck he’s so hot.

“Please let me cum” you beg

“You can do better” he says slamming into even harder you let out a couple moans

“Please! Fuck please let me cum!” You beg closing your eyes tightly not even sure if you can hold it

“Do better”

“Fuck Sam! Please let me cum, let me cum all over your big cock, please!” You beg not even embarrassed about what you said or that you were folding you just wanted to cum so badly.

“Cum all over my big cock baby” he says, you can hear the smirk in his tone. You close your eyes tightly, you can feel your body shaking violently, your head is fuzzy and can’t focus on anything. You feel yourself cumming.

“Oh my god! Sam!” You moan out your mouth open nothing able to come out after that. Sam is still slamming into you, you are still bent over on the trunk just trying to catch your breath.

Sam pulls out of you, he turns you around. He looks into your eyes sweetly before pulling you in for a big kiss. It turns more passionate and he slides your skirt off, you notice Sam is completely naked, you feel up and down his chest just amazed at how rock solid he is. Sam separates his lips from yours and pulls your shirt over your head tossing it somewhere. He opens the passenger door and lays you down on the back seat.

Sam admires your body, he smiles at you before hovering over your body. Sam kisses you again shortly, he goes down your neck sucking at some spots making you moan. Sam plays with your tits, sucking on your nipples and pinching them. You let out a groan wanting to feel him inside you again. As if Sam knew he lines himself up thrusts into you.

Sam lets out a moan, his hands holding himself up. “You’re so beautiful, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” he whispers so low you can barely hear him. His words make you so happy but also really wet.

“Sam” you moan quietly

“You okay?” He asks you shake your head yes “you want more?” He asks referring to him slamming into

“Yes please” you say

“You want me to thrust my big cock in and out of you, you want me to fuck you so hard you can’t think straight?”

You let out a groan just wanting him to go already “yes! Please!” Sam slams into you, thrusting hard and deep. You throw your head back against the seat your mouth open but nothing can come out. Sam lifts your leg over his shoulder so he can get in deeper.

“You’re so good for me” he says, everything he says or does just turns you on. “You like taking my cock? You like when I fuck you?”

“Mmm yes” you moan “I love your big cock” you bite your lip

“I know you do” he says picking up his pace. Sam watches you enjoying the sight of you being in pure bliss. You have your head back and eyes closed, your mouth open letting out sweet moans. The sight of you almost makes Sam cum, but he can’t not until you cum again.

Sam pulls out of you, he moves you so you’re sitting and he sits down next to you. “Ride me” he says, you do as he says and get on top. Sam is sweaty and breathing heavy. You’re the same way. The windows are all fogged up and the only light you have a is very dim light from the garage.

You put your hands around his neck and straddle him. You lift yourself up letting Sam line himself up. You slowly sink down on his cock, it sends tingles throughout your entire body.

“Oh Sam” you moan

“Fuck Y/n” he groans.

You start to move up and down not fully going down on him because he’s so big. Sam holds onto your hips moving you, his head is thrown back and his mouth his open. The sight of him like that makes you wet, he looks so good. You bounce up and down letting your head fall back, your arms still wrapped around his neck.

Sam pushes you down on him making you take all of him, again. You scream loudly, it was pain mixed with pleasure. Sam groans loudly, he moves his hips with yours. Sam’s arms wrap around your waist pulling you against his chest. He thrusts in and out of you holding you there making you take it. The car fills with wet sex sounds, groans, and moans. You place a hand on the window leaving a print, mostly because you want to remember this night. Sam notices and places his hand on top of yours, giving you a sweet smile. He goes back to your body looking you up and down.

Sam lifts you and places you on your back against the seats, he lifts your legs over his shoulders and thrust into you, his hand rubs your clit which he knew is gonna send you over the edge. The sight of his sweaty glistening body is making cumming even more easy. You can’t focus on anything, you’re moaning but don’t even realize, your body shaking and arching.

“Fuck Sam I’m gonna cum” Sam says something to you but you can’t even hear, you let out a scream. Your mouth still open but you’re unable to make a sound. Your head fuzzy, your breathing is all messed up. Your legs shaking you’re in pure pleasure, Sam is still rubbing your clit helping you ride it out. You squirm around getting too sensitive. Sam stops rubbing your clit and goes back to thrusting into you. His thrusts are hard and deep just like before. You can tell he’s close because he’s getting sloppier.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” You ask biting your lip trying to hold back moans, Sam’s head snaps to you. You can tell he likes it “cum in my tight pussy” you say seductive he lets out a groan. “Cum in me Sam” Sam grunts and buries his head in your neck

“Fuck” he mumbles “I love your pussy” he says in your ear “I’m gonna cum” he grunts. You let out a few more moans, Sam’s thrusts are very sloppy but still deep and hard. You hear him groan loudly you move your hips with his feeling a hot liquid enter you.

“Fuck” you mumble. Sam thrusts a few more times, he pulls out and flips you around so you can lay on his chest. You both lay there catching your breath, Sam leans over to open a window and let the steam out and get some air flow.

“What-“ you stop “what did you mean by make me feel loved” you say wondering if maybe he had the same feelings for you

“Well I want to be the man that makes you feel loved, I want to make you feel good, make you feel wanted, make you feel like you belong, you know make you feel loved.”

“Do you, have feelings for me?” You ask, you feel like a dumb teenager trying to figure it out.

“Y/n I have had feelings for you and I tried pushing them away with jobs, and sadly other people but when you left to go “find” someone. I realized I couldn’t let you do that, I realized I needed you and wanted you. I don’t want you with anyone else, I want to make you happy.” He says stroking your hair. You smile in his chest probably the goofiest smile ever.

“Okay” you say quietly.

“We’ll get up and get cleaned in a minute I just want to lay here” Sam says you hum in response closing your eyes. You feel so safe and warm it’s hard not to fall asleep.

***

You’re waken up by Dean yelling for you and Sam. Your eyes wide when you realize you fell asleep out here with Sam in deans car. He’s gonna flip. You wake Sam up by shaking him and whispering his name

“Wh-wha-“ his eyes land on yours “good morning beautiful” he smiles sleepy

“Sam we fell asleep in the car!” You whisper yell, Sam hears Dean calling for you both.

“Fuck” he says scrambling to find your clothes, that’s when you realize they’re all outside the car. Sam pulls a blanket from underneath the seat and covers you both

“Sa-“ you hear Dean stop “oh no” you hear him him grumble. Your heart racing you know he knows. Dean flings open the door and sees you too huddled together under a blanket

“Really! Come on! Not in baby!” He whines

****

I hope you enjoyed! Again I was having writers block so it took forever, I’m not so sure I have feel about this one but I hope you enjoy!!

If anyone wants to be part of a tag list message me!

Requests open!

#supernatural dirty imagine #supernatural imagine #superntural #supernatural smut #supernatural #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester smut

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father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

Note

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

#eren yeager x reader #bully eren yeager #toxic eren #eren yeager x you #yandere eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren x fem!reader #eren yeager x reader fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #dubcon tw #tw noncon #tw abuse #tw drinking #tw drunk driving #eren yeager fanfiction #dark content #dark fic #tw trauma #tw depr

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willowfolksong · 2 years

Note

hi hi i'm the one who requested for sakusa reverse comfort. honestly? i reaaally like it, so thank you for your time writing that :') glad to know we're on the same page where we also like when the reader comfort our baes :')

sweet adorable omi, i didn't have any idea or getting a hint that he's actually sick, at all. i feel really bad, he's so quiet while we're lashing out on him :((( and you definitely captured the reader's emotion on point because personally i am, in fact, a very petty person and explodes when i'm already too stressed by letting it out on someone else, then regretting it later on. i think many can also relate to this. once again, thank you thank you!

and psstt- if you have the time for it, can i ask for another reverse comfort with atsumu? got the feeling he's a more sensitive person inside, judging by how he reacts when he knows that kita actually cares for him by giving him foods and drinks when he's sick, and how he almost teared up after hearing kita's small talk on the stairs. ofc you can ignore this aha but once again thank you, i really enjoy your writings, and i'm gonna reread this all over again for today :'D

wishing you a wonderful night/day, and please take care!! <3

promise you'll stay

- Atsumu Miya x Reader

- SFW

a/n: hi again anon!!!! First of all, I'm soooooo glad you enjoy my writings!!! that makes me feel so soft inside 🥺❤ And ugh, I also feel you so much. I'm exactly like you. And like Reader. Stress takes its toll on me and I sometimes end up lashing out on others and acting really petty. I totally relate! Here's also your other request!!! and you're 100% right. Atsumu DOES looks like a softie deep down. for sure would love some comfort. I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it 🥺❤ always let me know what you think and I hope you take care as well!!! ❤❤❤✨

Love,

Willow ❄

Requests are open! ❄

You pull your head from under the covers to glance at your window. Nothing happens for a couple of seconds, and then something smacks against it once more.

It looks like something small.

Like a pebble.

It happens again while you're getting up and grabbing your phone as some sort of makeshift weapon, in case you have to fight for your life, because someone's clearly throwing rocks at your window.

You draw the curtains back enough to be able to peek down.

Atsumu waves the flashlight of his phone at you.

"What are you doing?" you ask him, when you leave your room and run down the stairs to open the front door for him "It's 2 a.m"

Your boyfriend shrugs, turning his flashlight off and taking a look at your pajamas "Cute shorts"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Can I come in?"

You gape at him "It's the middle of the night! And I still don't know what you're doing here!"

"I came to see ya, babe" he tells you, smiling "Can ya blame a guy for wantin' to see his girlfriend?"

"At 2 a.m?"

He shrugs again "You're my midnight cravin'"

You realize something is wrong when he follows you to your room, and doesn't immediately plops down on the bed when you close and lock the door behind you. Instead he stands in the middle of the room, awkwardly changing his weight from one foot to another, hands on his pocket.

"What is it?" you ask, sitting down against the head board of your bed "Please don't tell me you made me open the door and bring you to my room at 2 a.m, at risk of being caught by my parents, just so you could stand there"

His gaze snaps back to you, a slow teasing smirk appearing on his lips. But his eyes. His eyes are empty "If ya want me to do somethin' to ya babe, ya only need to ask"

"Atsumu" at the sound of his name, he pauses, smirk frozen in place "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'"

"Please don't lie to me"

That sets him into motion, and he goes to sit beside you, grabbing the stuffed fox he won for you in a fair once from your bedside table. You watch him play with the little plushie's ears, his fingers pulling on the fake fur.

"I just wanted to hang out" he says, without looking at you "Missed ya and all"

You sigh, and ignore him peeking at you from the corner of his eyes as you stand up and stretch your arms above your head.

"Do you want some warm milk and cookies?"

He looks up at you in surprise "What?"

"Some warm milk and some cookies" you repeat "I have those you really like"

"The ones with the white chocolate sprinkles?" he asks, hopeful.

You nod "Those ones"

"Yeah, that sounds great"

The fact that he doesn't follows you down the stairs to loom over you as you prepare everything in the kitchen, only serves to convince you even more that something's definitely wrong with him. When you return to your bedroom, tray in hand, you find him laying down, both hands behind his head on the pillow, eyes on the ceiling.

He sits up as soon as you leave the tray beside him and take a seat too. "Yeah, this are the cookies that I like"

"And I also added some chocolate to your milk, since you think that is 'yucky' without anything in it"

Atsumu looks up to you, eyes wide, before taking his cup in both of his hands "Thanks babe"

"I mean, you did came to my house in the middle of the night. I had to do something"

"Yeah, you're right"

You grab one of the cookies and take a small bite. The chocolate melts in your tongue as you chew, all the time watching your boyfriend stare intently at his chocolate milk, unmoving.

"Hey" he finally says, voice only a whisper "Wanna hear somethin' funny?"

"I guess?"

And then he sniffs, his shaking hands creating little waves on the milk "'Samu doesn't wants to keep playin' volleybal after high school"

You frown, setting your half bitten cookie back on the tray. You knew, somehow, that this would affect Atsumu even more than what he initially let on. "Atsumu..."

"No it's fine! Really. Fuckin' fantastic and all that" he cuts you off "It's not like we've been doin' this together forever or somethin'"

When the first tear falls and dissolves in the milk, you place both of your hands on top of his. "Atsumu, I'm sorry"

He nods, sniffing again, and lets you take the cup away from him. Once you're sure nothing's going to spill, you turn back towards him and open your arms. The speed with which he falls into your embrace warms your heart.

You fill his head with kisses, as your hands sooth his back. He just lets himself be hold, his head buryed in the crook of your neck. "Do ya think I'm bein' pathetic?"

"No, of course not"

"Don't lie to me"

"There's nothing wrong with you being sad about this"

He nods weakly, his arms hugging you even close "Yeah, I guess. Stupid 'Samu"

"But I know you also understand that your brother has his own dream, and that you have to support him in his chase"

"Yeah, I don't know if I want to do that"

You tickle his left side, and watch him try to squirm away from you without letting you go "You don't mean that"

"I just thought... ya know" he says, voice muffled against your skin "That I was always goin' to be able to look at my side and find him there, in the court"

"You'll still see him on the stands"

Your boyfriend snorts, but you don't feel new tears join the wet spot on your neck anymore "Yeah, right. As if that could do somethin'"

He manages to convince you to let him stay the night, using his still red eyes and his pout as a weapon. You comply, after much begging, and make sure the door is locked and your alarm is set by 9 a.m before crawling into bed with him; this time, Atsumu doing the holding. He places his chin on top of your head and plays with the hem of your shirt for a while, his feet interlocking with yours under the sheets.

When you're already dozing off, he speaks again "Hey, babe?"

"Yeah?"

He pauses, and you feel his chest rise and fall against your back "I know ya said 'Samu would always be on the stands..."

"Of course he will"

"But you'll be there too, right?" he asks, and you turn your head to find him staring at you with his most serious expresion.

"Yeah, I will"

"So ya promise I'll always look to the side and find ya cheerin' me on?"

You smile and kiss his nose "Unless you're actively shushing everyone with that thing you do with your arm because you think it makes you look cool, then yeah, sure"

He gasps, bumping his forehead against yours "It does makes me look cool!"

Years later, on his first game with the MSBY Jackals, you sit beside Osamu and proudly watch him serve.

And when his eyes find yours, you both smile.

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spideymarvelws · 3 years

Note

Playing truth or dare with college!Peter and MJ dares you to give him a (private) lap dance

This turned out to be much longer than expected

Main Masterlist / Add Yourself To My Taglists

Warnings : SMUT! (Lap dance?ish?kind of? i went a bit of script im sorry, thigh riding, grinding, dirty talk, dom!peter, innocence kink, corruption kink?, masterbation, oral[male rec], mild degrading), alcohol consumption, everyone is 18+, kinda fluffy in the beginning but we do be getting smutty real quick tho, MJ being your personal wing woman

Also please dont take drinks from strangers this is fiction and not real life, always drink responsibly :)))

Word Count : 4.8k

Behind Doors

Fratboy!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

You tried to keep your staring to a minimum, you really did. But how could you when he stood in the middle of the crowd, glowing like an angel amongst everyone. He was laughing with his friends, his head tilted back with his eyes squeezed shut and a smile that could make anyone's day so much brighter. You wanted nothing more but to run your hands through his floppy brown hair bouncing on his head as he told his mates a story, his facial and hand movements lively when he moved them around, accentuating the words falling from his mouth.

His fit didn’t help either. A tight white t-shirt paired with blue jeans and a gold chain that hung from his neck, begging to be played with in any way. It was simplistic but made you swoon all the same. His muscles printed through the fabric didn’t help much either, his biceps almost tearing through the sleeves a mouth watering contrast to his cheerful face.

It was like staring at a greek god that radiated puppy dog energy.

“You’re not being subtle you know,” MJ whispered into you ear nudging your side with her elbow, “Just go talk to him,”

You shook your head, heat rising to your face as you averted your eyes from the brown eyed boy, turning to face your best friend, “You know i can’t do that,”

“Not with that you aren’t,” she pointed at the red solo cup you held in your hand filled halfway with orange juice. She quickly snatched the cup away from you, dumping the contents in the grass of the backyard.

“Hey!” You gasped, but made no effort to stop her.

“You need to loosen up,” she stabbed her finger into the middle of your chest, shoving her drink into your hands, “All of it, now,”

You took the cup hesitantly swirling the contents inside around for a bit, watching as the liquid moved smoothly around the sides of the plastic. You looked back up at MJ, feeling small when she stared you down with a stern look. You knew you weren’t finding a way out of this one.

“Fine,” you grumbled before tilting your head back, chugging the alcohol down. You let out a few coughs afterwards, giggling as MJ started to cheer.

“That’s my girl!” She wrapped her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her side, “Now for about five more,”

Two hours and four drinks later, or maybe it was six you weren't keeping count, the party finally started to die down. The liquor running through your system did its job well in letting you loosen up so you could enjoy the party without being distracted by a certain brown haired boy.

You had lost MJ halfway through the night, your mind finally processing that she wasn’t by your side when you reached for her to dance with you. As you busied yourself by looking around the room, you felt someone place their hand on your lower back, sending shivers up your spine with the touch. You whipped your head around, expecting your equity intoxicated friend but only to be met with the same brown eyes you’ve been fawning over at the beginning of the night.

“Hey,” he said into your ear so that you heard it over all the noise. He moved his hand off your back after he got your attention. You tried your best to keep the tiny whine from escaping your throat at the loss of his touch. The free feeling you felt with the alcohol completely vanished with the sound of his voice turning you into that shy nerd all over again.

“Looking for someone?” He said, pushing the tips of his fingers into the front pockets of his pants.

You stood speechless, you mouth agape that Peter Parker, the Peter Parker was talking to you. MJ was wrong, no amount of alcohol could’ve prepared you for the moment. At least you didn't scurry away like a mouse like you would’ve if you were fully sober.

“I- uh,” you coughed, trying to get some words out but failing miserably.

“Sorry, It’s just I saw you looking around,” he scratched the back of his neck, chuckling at your flustered state. His cheeks starting to turn a light pink which made you swoon even harder, “I assume you’re looking for MJ, since you were with her for most of the night,”

“Oh, right,” you mumbled, laughing awkwardly, looking down to the ground, “How did you know I was with her?”

“You guys are always together!” He smiled showing off his pearly whites, “Around campus you know? I’ve seen you guys together in my classes as well,”

“You noticed me?” You whispered, mainly to yourself but he managed to pick up your words, making you even more embarrassed than before.

“Of course!” He passed his hand through his hair, looking straight into your eyes, “How could I not Y/n?”

You stood speechless, your mouth opening and closing as if you wanted to say something but changed your mind last minute. Millions of thoughts ran through your brain per second, the most frequent being your name rolling off his tongue.

“Anyways, uh, the main reason i came was to bring you to MJ,” he chuckled nervously, seeming just as flustered as you, “She’s in one of the spare bedrooms with some of the boys, we’re playing a good ole’ game of truth and dare,” he voice raised adorably, making you giggle lightly, “You don’t need to join or anything, but i don’t think you would want to be alone out here,”

“Yeah!” you replied a bit to quickly, shaking your head at your enthusiasm, “I mean, yeah, I would like to join you,”

“Sick!” He smiled brightly, grabbing your hand. Your eyes widened at the action as he pulled you through the crowd, you looked down at the ground, allowing him to maneuver you around the mass of bodies.

“Just so you don’t get lost,” he said, looking back at you, pointing out your intertwined hands.

“Of course!” You said back, holding back your squeals of excitement.

You were honestly surprised with how sweet he was acting towards you. Despite his status as part of the biggest frat on campus, his reputation upholded him as the good boy of the group, the one who helped old lady’s across the street or bought lunch for you when you didn't have the money. Sure, you saw this on multiple occasions but to experience it for yourself was a nice change, and just solidified your crush on him even more.

When he reached the stairway vacant of anybody, he still didn't let go of your hand, only tightening his fingers around yours. He walked down the dark hallway and approached a door ,giving you a reassuring smile before turning the knob and pushing it open, revealing around eight or nine people. Some laid on the bed, beers in hand as they laughed while others sat on the couch. You spotted MJ on the floor, laughing with Harry Osborn.

“Who’s the chick Parker?” One of the boys said, silencing the room and putting everyone's attention on you.

“This is Y/n,” he gestured towards you, “Y/n, everyone,” Peter finally let go of your hand, popped himself on the edge of the bed, picking up a beer from the side table and nodding his head at the empty space besides him.

You looked towards MJ panicked, but all she did was mouth ‘go’ with a shit eating grin. You sneered back at her, rolling your eyes as you walked up to the bed, bending your right leg back to sit on your calf while the other dangled over the edge.

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Peter leaned into your ear, whispering gently, “Again, you don’t have to do anything you don’t have to,”

You pouted at his actions, melting at the fact that he was so observant with you. You looked down at his beer, before looking back up at him. If you were going to get through the rest of the night, you needed to be absolutely wasted.

“Do you have another beer?” You asked him, pointed to his bottle.

“You could just have mine,” he offered his drink, passing it off to you.

You bit your lip, taking a long swig of the liquid, “Thank you,”

Before the both of you could converse any longer, a girl with short blond hair you knew from English, called out from the corner, “Okay, okay, who wants to go next?”

“I think Y/n should go,” flash said, holding up his bottle towards you, “She’s the new one isn’t she?”

Peter looked at you, silently asking if you needed him to say anything. But you decided to take things into your own hands for the first time that night.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” you said, taking another swig of beer.

“Alright Y/n,” Harry said smugly, leaning back on his forearm, “Truth or dare?”

You thought about it for a bit, missing the smug look on MJ’s face as you muttered, “Dare”

“I dare you to give Peter a lap dance,” she said immediately, leaning back as she held in her laugh at your washed out face, “I mean we could send you to the other room if you want more privacy,”

You sat speechless and once again wanted to melt into the sheets beneath you. You felt Peter’s hand wrap around yours, giving him your attention.

“Only if you want to,” he muttered, giving you a soft smile.

“I-,” you took a deep breath, trying to gather the little confidence you had left, “Which room?”

Hollers and shouts bounced off the walls, as everyone hyped both of you up. Peter stood, pulling you up with him, leading you out the room.

“Take as much time as you need!” You heard MJ shout after you before the door closed, leaving you and Peter alone once again.

Your heart pounded inside your chest as Peter guided you once again to another room. You gulped, wondering if you had made the right decision so give a lap dance to your crush. He didn’t say anything as he knocked on a door, opening it when he didn't hear any noise come from the room.

“After you,” he said politely.

“Thank you,” you said shyly, walking to the middle of the room.

Peter closed the door behind him, leaning against the wood, “Sooooo,” he dragged looking you up and down, “I- uh, didn't expect you to say yes,”

“Me neither,” you chuckled, looking down to the floor.

“I mean if you don’t want to, it’s just a silly bet,” Peter said, fiddling with his fingers.

“Do-,” you coughed, “Do you want me too?”

“It’s up to you really,”

“But would you mind if i-“

“I mean I wouldn’t be against it-,”

You both laughed nervously falling into silence after that. You looked around the room, finding interest with everything besides him. You were fidgety, playing with your fingers while tapping your foot on the floor rapidly to calm your nerves. It was stupid, you’ve been dreaming about him for so long, and now that you were finally in a room together you clamed up, not knowing what to do in his presence.

Peter on the other hand kept his gaze on you, his eyes racking your body up and down. He wasn't going to lie to himself and say that he’d never thought of this moment, the moment where you and him were finally together, in a room, all alone.

You were different from the girls he was used to in the frat. You were untouched, well to his knowledge, you were a clean slate and from the small confrontations he’s had with you, he could tell you were obedient too.

He wanted so bad to just have his way with you, to absolutely ravish you like he did in his dreams. But he wanted to savour it. After so long of watching you pin over him, purely to feed his ego, he was ready to take things to the next level and what better way than with a good lap dance. Sure he was the good guy, both as himself and as his alternate persona as a hero, but when it comes to you, all his morals were thrown out the window.

Besides, you were both intoxicated and he didn't want your first time together to be at a stupid party in a room he was barely familiar with.

After a few more seconds of silence, Peter decided to take things into his own hands, to make his fantasy a reality, or to just get it started at least. He was the first to make a move, walking right up to you, taking your chin between his fingers, tilting your head up to look at him while his other hand made its way to the side of your waist, pulling you closer.

“Y/n?” He asked, swiping his thumb across your lips. He may have an unhealthy obsession with them but it didnt matter because in the next few moments he would make them his, “I’m not stupid you know,”

You blinked rapidly, tilting your head to the side at his statement, confused and slightly hurt.

Peter only chuckled, slipping his thumb between your lips for a split second before pulling it back out and resting it back on your plump lip, testing the waters, “I said i noticed you, and when I mean I noticed you,” he leaned forward, placing his lips near your ear, “I meant everything, down to the constant heart eyes,”

You held your breath, not knowing how to feel, what to think. Peter Parker, the Peter Parker, was standing in front of you, playing with your lips with such close proximity, telling you that he was aware of your existence. That there was a chance that he might feel the same way about you.

You had to remind yourself that this was just a bet, that he didn’t mean anything he was saying. He was only doing it because he had to. Even if he was a sweet boy by heart, he still had a reputation for sleeping around, that to him you were just another girl to add to his collection.

But when he pushed his thumb into your mouth, you knew you'd fall victim as well.

“Mhh,” he hummed, “such a good girl, just like i knew you’d be,” suddenly, he pulled his thumb out of your mouth and sat back down on the bed, pulling you to straddle his lap, “Now, i believe you have a dare to fulfill,”

“I- uh,” you stuttered, hesitantly placing your hands on his shoulder as you settled into his hold.

“You’ve never done this before, have you princess?” Peter mumbled, hovering his lips over yours.

“i-,” you shook your head, lost for words when he called you princess.

He hummed, one of his hands gripping your waist while the other laided on your cheek, rubbing the soft skin with his thumb, “Let’s start off slow then,” his thumb moved to your mouth once more, playing with the bottom lip. You sat frozen, letting him take control. You didn't trust your body to move, you could barely even talk.

“I’ve always wondered what it was like to kiss these perfect lips,” he whispered, moving to kiss your neck, trailing his way up to the corner of your mouth, “I’d imagine you’ve though the same,”

You nodded, tightening your hold on his shoulders. Peter laughed, his breath hot on your face.

“You’re going to need to say something if you want me to continue princess,”

“Yes,” you squeaked, clearing your throat, embarrassed by your quick response, “Yes, I-uh, I’ve thought about this, yeah,”

“Hmm, good,” he mumbled before finally latching his lips on yours, keeping your face close with his hand.

His lips were rougher that you imagined, probably from constantly licking them for most of the night. But the more you kissed, your mouths opening and closing with each other like its own dance, the more wet and lustful it became. You could feel your body begin to relax into his, melting into the warmth. His confidence only grew with the soft moans escaping your mouth, quickly slipping his tongue inside when your lips parted, exploring your mouth with vigour and purpose.

Your breath hitched in response, using your own tongue to match his movements and tangling it with his, fighting for dominance you were sure he was going to win. Your fingers ran through his hair, tugging at the short curls at the base of his neck, smiling when he groaned into your mouth. You beamed at him when you finally pulled away, a string of spit connected your lips.

“This seems more than just a lap dance,” you let out a shaky sigh, resting your forehead against his.

He chuckled, using his hands to bring your hips closer to his crotch, your dress rolling further up around your waist.

“Then what are you waiting for,” he said cockily, leaning back on his forearms, looking back at you expectantly.

You let out a breath, readjusting yourself on his lap before moving your hips slowly. Your pussy barely made contact with his now hard cock poking through his jeans, teasing it ever once in a while when your panties brushed the tent. You smirked, despite not knowing what the hell you were doing, it seemed like you were doing a decent job.

“Don’t get to cocky princess,” he groaned, squeezing your waist tightly, “You forget that I’m the one in charge here,”

You bit your lip, muttering a soft sorry.

He hummed, nudging his nose with yours, “Let me help you then,”

He grasped your hips, pulling your it closer to his crotch, grinding it against your core. You let him guide you with his hands, following his lead supporting yourself with your own hands clutching on to his shoulder.

He let out a long sigh, his head falling back. You took that as the queue to grind faster, enjoying the effect you had on him with such a simple movement. Your confidence grew with the noises escaping his throat along with the occasional praise only fueling your need.

In a rush of the moment, you moved your hands to the back of his neck, pulling him into a needy kiss. It was much more sloppier and messier than the previous one, your focus more on moving your hips than keeping your lips in sync with his.

But you wanted more. As much as you enjoyed Peter’s eyes trailing your body, his hands exploring your waist and the angelic look on his face, you couldn't help but wonder if it stopped there. If you could make his moans louder, his hips jut against your with need, just as much as you needed him.

After a few more moments, an idea popped into your head with the faint sound of music coming from downstairs.

“Peter,” you decided to purr in your ear, biting your lip when his eyes fluttered open, dark and filled with lust.

“Yes princess,” He cooed, moving his hands back to your waist while keeping eye contact, brushing his lips over yours. But before he could fully kiss you, you pulled away, giggling at the little whine he let out.

“What is it?” he pouted, rolling his eyes when you didn’t respond, only biting your lip in thought. He grabbed your jaw, focussing your gaze back on him, “You were being such a good girl, what happened hmm?”

“I- I have an idea,” you gulped, the confidence you felt seconds ago melting away under his stare, “Do you have a speaker?”

He nodded his head, pointed to a desk in the corner with a small black speaker sitting on top. You smirked, hopping off his lap and running to the box. Peter leaned back on hands, watching with curious eyes as you pulled out your phone from your jacket pocket, tapping it open and typing in your password.

“What’s going through that head of your princess,” he mumbled, but loud enough for you to hear.

You only giggled in response, playing around with the speaker to turn in on. After a few more seconds of fiddling, you spun around with your phone in hand and a teasing smile on your face. Your finger pressed down on the screen, the room filling with the song Love Is A Bitch by Two Feet.

He scoffed, “And here I am thinking you were just an innocent little thing,”

You bit your lip, looking down shyly and placing your phone on the table, your back facing him, “I just wanted to set the mood,”

“Was grinding down on me not enough?” he teased, “Are you always this greedy?”

You let out a breath before turning around, your heart practically beating out of your chest, “Only with you,”

You glanced up at the brunette face, nervous that maybe you took it too far. It was just a simple lap dance, nothing more and nothing less and you should've kept it that way. But the kiss was addicting, keeping you in a daze where all you wanted was more. More of his touch, his mouth, his taste.

You’ve wanted him for so long and now that you dipped your toes in the waters, you wanted to dive in and never come out. What really kept you going was his reactions to your touch, the small grunts and moans escaping his mouth because of you. He wanted this as much as you did or else he would’ve shut you down by now, right?

You were just getting ahead of yourself.

“Come here Y/n,” he almost growled, his eyes never leaving you while you shuffled your way between his legs, yelping when he gripped your waist and pulled you back down. Instead of straddling his waist, he moved you so your legs were on either side of his left thigh.

You went to speak but the gripped your jaw with his forefinger and thumb, forcing your eyes on him.

“You never fail to surprise me princess,” he whispered, his free hand trailing up your waist, brushing past your breasts, “I thought I had to treat you like a good girl, take my time with you” he chuckled darkly, “Turns out you need this just as much as I do, my greedy, desperate little thing,”

You bit your lip, tucking your head in the crook of his neck to avoid his stare. The pet names he gave you was already enough to leave you a mess but adding ‘my’ in front of it made you melt. You wanted to be his, you wanted him to take control of your body and use you as he pleased. He adjusted his thigh, having it bump against your clothed pussy. Heat rose to your face when you let out a small whimper, settling back on his leg, craving the friction but you didn’t move, waiting for specific instructions.

“You weren’t so shy before, what happened?” he kissed the shell of your ear, “Go on princess, ride my thigh like the desperate whore I know you are,”

Without thinking you began to grind your pussy along his thigh, your face growing hotter when you felt the wetness seep on to his jeans. Peter kept his hands on your waist, keeping your movements at his own past, occasionally bouncing his leg, enjoying the little whines you let out. When you started moving faster, he knew you were nearing your high.

“Princess, look at me,” he grunted,“I want to see that pretty face when you cum,”

You let out a shaky sigh, pulling your head up to face him but you could barely keep your head up, too concentrated on moving your hips against the rough fabric of his jeans. He quickly recognised this and wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing lightly to get some of your attention.

“Peter,” you whimpered, near to tears with how close you were to climaxing, “Peter please,”

“What is it princess? You want to cum? Is that it?”

You nodded quickly, “Please,”

“Go ahead princess,” he grinned, smashing his lips against your to swallow your moans as you came on his thigh, your hips moving in slow strokes to prolong the feeling. You pulled away after a few moments of feverish kissing, your arms falling limp around his shoulders.

“Fuck,” you sighed, your forehead falling against his with the breathless laugh, “That was-”

“Great? Amazing? The best experience of your life?” he laughed, falling back against the mattress, pulling you down with him. You giggled, shoving your face in his neck and inhaling his comforting scent.

“Yeah,” you turned your head to face him, pouting when a piece of his hair fell in front of his stunning eyes. You moved it out of his face, kissing his nose in the process, “I liked it a lot,”

“That’s good, that’s good,” he whispered, tightening his arms around you.

All of a sudden you felt something poke at the inside of your thigh. It took you a few moments to realise that he was hard and was probably aching to get off at this point in the night.

“Do- do you want me to help?” you said shyly, sitting up on your hands to fully face him.

“You don't have to princess,” his hands passed up and down your waist, “Seeing you fall apart from my thigh is all I needed tonight,”

The twitch of his eye and dryness of his lips told you otherwise.

“Are you sure?” you bit your lip, moving your hand slowly down to his hard on, “because I don’t mind helping Petey,”

You didn’t know where the nickname came from but it was too late to take it back. Judging by the dark look in his eyes and the almost cynical look on his face he didn’t mind.

“You want to help me princess? Are you sure you know what you’re in for?”

You shook your head eagerly, “Just tell me what you want,”

“And what if i want you to suck my cock?”

“I would do it,”

“Do what?”

“Su- suck your cock,” you replied bashfully looking down at your hands now intertwined on his stomach.

“Aww, is my princess getting shy?” he fake pouted, “After getting off on my thigh like a slut, you’re getting shy about taking me in your mouth?”

“I-”

“It’s alright princess i’ll guide you through it,” he reached down to unzip his jeans, shuffling awkwardly to push them down so he could get his member out. You watched as his hard dick slapped against his chest, big and throbbing.

He moved your hips back so that you straddled his legs this time, taking your hand and raising it to your mouth.

“Spit,” he instructed, looking up at you with hunger, “Now,”

You hesitantly spit into your hand, watching in awe as the wad fell into your hand.

“Good girl,” he sighed, moving your hand to wrap your small finger around the base of his cock, “Have you ever jerked someone off princess?”

“Just two,” you respond hesitantly.

Peter gritted his teeth, trying to get the idea of you touching anyone else out of his mind, “Well let's make this your third and final guy hmm?” his breath hitched when you started to move your hand up and down his cock, “You’re mine now princess,”

In the spur of the moment you leaned down, licking the red tip of his member, “Only yours,” you whispered before taking him halfway in your mouth, gagging and pulling yourself back up.

“Take your time princess,” he gulped, “fuck but you could do that again if you’d like though,”

You giggled, licking and kissing the sides of his cock and taking it once more, reaching further than this time than you did the last. You bobbed your head continuously only raising your head to take a breath and going in again.

“Fuck princess, I knew your mouth would be good,” he groaned, “You’re doing so well, taking my cock so good down your throat, fuck!”

You smiled around his length, the back of your throat contracting around the tip making him moan your name. Before he could praise you even more, someone's voice cut his words off.

“Everything alright in there?” MJ said through the door but you were too lost in your daze to answer or recognise her voice.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Peter smirked, pushing you to take the rest of his cock, “We’re just going to take longer than expected,”

...

Part two maybe??

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Peter Parker Taglist : @ietss @itscaminow @dummiesshort @seutarose @cebaratn16 @lanceyfancypants @clara-licht @sadassflatass @usuck @yeah-seems-legit @lolasm0nst3r

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#peter parker #peter parker smut #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker x reader #frat!peter #fratboy!peter #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #fratboy!peter paker x reader #marvel smut #marvel imagine #tom holland smut

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yelenabelovasbxtch · 2 years

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Hey hey I’ve got another one for you. Florence Pugh x Reader cuddling at 3am after a long day of work for the reader, it’s one of those nights where you just talk for hours with prompts 22 and 26.

Late Nights

a/n: second fic of the night! Since they were two shorter ones I figured I would do two! Also, I'm trying to get caught up on my asks! Sorry if you've waited too long, thank you for being patient!

#22: “Stop making me laugh!”

#26: “I love you but you need to shut up”

Concept: Your girlfriend knows how hard works been fo you lately and although she's away filming a movie, she sends you a surprise!

Word Count: 1157

Warnings: None? Not proofread. Pretty much all fluff!

Taglist: @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @wandanatvoid @3xbyrn320 @thorya22 @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @wandanatvoid @ailenepuff @amcg0615

You got home from another long day at work only to come home to an empty apartment again to make a meal for one before watching TV, going to bed and doing it all over again tomorrow. Your life does not suck as much as it sounds like it does, it’s just that your girlfriend, god she’s beautiful, is at work…in another country. Florence and you had been dating for about a year now and she had to go film a movie in England for 8 months, she’s halfway through but god, do you miss her every moment of every day. You guys facetime when she’s available but for the most part it’s texting. Today’s work seemed harder than usual, maybe you just are growing more impatient and sick of your job. As you get home and throw your keys in the dish you keep by the door you immediately head to your room so you can change into some sweats. You decided to throw on one of Flo’s hoodies because it made you feel better on the days you were missing her a little more than usual. As you throw the hoodie on, you walk towards the kitchen to start making dinner when all of a sudden Florence is calling you.

“Hello beautiful!” she says as you pick up the phone.

“Hey babes, how are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m not bad…I don’t have too long to chat but I’ve had a really long day and wanted to hear your voice.”

“Ah yeah, I hear that…” You say with a big sigh. “Work was tough for me too today. Honestly, I wish I could just hug you all night and call in sick tomorrow.”

“Awe love, I’m sorry to hear that and me too, I’d absolutely love it if we could do that as well. I had a feeling today was just going to be one of those days so I came prepared.”

“What do you mean you came prepared?”

“Well, I only have about 30 minutes until I have to start filming again but I ordered your favourite takeout and a bottle of wine to the apartment…it should be arriving any minute. I have food here with me too and I thought maybe we could have a fun dinner date together like we used to.”

“Awe Flo, that’s really thoughtful of you. Thank you.”

“Omg of course! I just hope the food shows up soon.”

*Ding Dong*

“Oh! Hold on babe the doorbell just rang that must be them now with the food.”

You put the phone down as you walk over the door to grab the food. You swing the door open…

“SURPRISE!!!”

“FLORENCE! YOU’RE HERE! WHAT? HOW?”

“Ah well, the director needed to take a week off for a family emergency so we got time off too!”

“OMG, THAT’S AMAZING…well not the part about your director having an emergency I hope everything’s okay but I am so glad that I get to see you.” You say with excitement as you pull her in for a big hug.

“And…as promised…food and wine!” She says holding up a paper and plastic bag in each hand.

You chuckle as you grab her suitcase and bring her stuff inside.

The two of you sit down and eat your meal as you catch up on what’s been going on lately…all of the stuff that hasn’t been said over the phone or text because there never seems to be enough time. After you ate and cleaned up it was pretty late, already 11 pm so you head to bed to watch some TV together. Although you turned the TV on, while you were trying to choose what to watch the two of you just kept talking. You couldn’t stop, you missed the sound of her voice, you missed seeing her laugh and smile right in front of you. The two of you were so head over heels in love with one another and it really showed, especially on nights like these.

Eventually, you called it a quits on the movie and decided to only talk. Florence showed you some of the souvenirs she brought back for you alongside all the fun British snacks she wanted to share that she loved growing up. She also pulled out this really interesting thing one of her costars gave her. It’s like a sharpie but is safe for your skin and whatever you draw is permanent for up to two weeks. It’s sort of like henna but in pen form. The costume department used them on some of the actors when their characters have tattoos.

“Do you want to try it?” Florence says in her beautiful and thick British accent.

You shrug your shoulders, “I mean hey, why not? Can I get your name written across my chest in huge letters?”

“Haha very funny.” She says. “How about you let me draw something for you?”

“Yeah? Okay sure. Here, give me something cool on my wrist.” You say, handing her your arm.

Florence starts drawing, “seriously though like “FLORENCE” written in like times new roman going right across my chest would look great no?”

“Oh my gosh, stop making me laugh!” You just continue to tease her about it. “Seriously babes! I love you but you need to shut up…I don’t want to mess it up”

You can’t help but chuckle and a couple of minutes later she pulls away and reveals the most adorably drawn snail on your arm. Florence loves snails, always has, always will.

“Oh my gosh, of course! This is adorable, thank you, baby.” You say giving her a peck on the lips. “I might just have to go and get this actually tattooed on me.”

The two of you continue to chat until the sun rises with Florence in your arms for the majority of the night, you two just had the most amazing time.

“I’m so glad you came home.” You say as you face her, laying down in your bed under the sheets and having your fingers tangled in hers.

“Me too love.”

You give Florence a big kiss, “god I never want this to end.”

She smiles at you with the most adorable smile you’ve ever seen. Her eyes close slightly as her nose perks up when the corners of her mouth turn upwards.

“Actually…sorry babes, do you think you could give me one minute?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing…” You say as you sit up and pull out your phone. “I just want to ensure that this doesn’t have to end.”

“What?”

“Just emailing my boss that I am super sick and cannot make it into work today…or probably for the rest of the week…andddd send.”

Florence laughs as she wraps her arm around your stomach and pulls you back down into bed kissing you all over your face.

“God you are beautiful and I love you so freakin much.”

“I love you too Flo.”

–The End –

#marvel fan fic #florence pugh fanfic #marvel #florence pugh #mcu #yelena belova #cooking with flo #florence pugh smut #florence pugh x reader #yelena belova fanfiction #black widow #yelena x reader #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova smut #fluff #wlw

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monaisdark · 3 years

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i like how u write Shigaraki 😳❤ can u do maybe some bully reader with a sprinkle of virgin!shiggy hehe 🥰 reader can be dom or sub its up to you!! ❤

AH i’ve been meaning to check my inbox but ommmg this motivates me so much, thank you ! <3 I decided to do some dom reader - hope its ok!

➨ paring — Virgin! Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Bully! Reader

➨ warnings — Sub! Shigaraki, Dom! Reader, slight mommy kink, slight masturbation, humiliation, degradation, cum denial, begging

PART 2

Shigaraki slumped into the ground, his back against the now wet wall. It hasn’t even been 3rd period yet and you already completely ruined his day. You and your group of followers threw water at him, something about him smelling bad. His papers and books were thrown out of his bag, soggy and falling apart from the water poured on them and his favorite hoodie now uncomfortably wet.

Shigaraki would already be late to class by now so he didn’t bother to scurry off like your friends did when they heard the late bell for class. You walked a bit behind them, turning your head back at him a few times before completely disappearing down the hall.

Shigaraki wasn’t sure what he did for you to hate him so much. It was almost like you were out to get him since day one. And of course, you being so popular, it made him the school outcast, well, even more of an outcast.

He tried everything — ignoring you, doing everything you asked him, even trying to fight back. The last try left him with a sprained wrist and bruised cheek. So in the end, everything left him either humiliated, damaged, or hurt.

He finally stood up as he heard footsteps from a hall monitor coming down the hall he was in, grabbing his backpack that contained the remaining contents of his school stuff before running off into a nearby bathroom to hide. Luckily, nobody was there to see how disheveled he looked.

Shigaraki took off his hoodie, thankfully the hoodie was thick and caught most of the water, leaving his long sleeved undershirt a bit damp but nothing he couldn’t handle for the rest of the day. He set everything wet under the hand drier, letting the hot air dry them a bit.

As he dried his face, something at on the floor caught Shigaraki’s eye. It was a small piece of paper that was also damp. He picked it up confused, did it fall out of his hoodie pocket?

‘’Shigaraki, meet me in room 204 after school today. Be there.’’ He could read out from the smudged, running ink. Shigaraki looked at it confused, yeah it was definitely for him but why? How did this even get into his pocket? He’s usually always alone, he didn’t hang out or spend his school days with anyone.

“Hey! Get to class!” The voice of the hall monitor outside of the bathroom almost made him yelp. He stuffed the note into his back pocket, grabbing all his stuff that was thankfully a bit more dry before leaving.

You eyed Shigaraki from across the cafeteria, a small smirk tugged your lips as you saw him pull out the tiny piece of paper for the 12th time that lunch. A wave of satisfaction overcame you every time you saw his eyebrows furrowed at the paper.

You tried to make the note as vague as possible, you could tell from the confused look on his face that he didn’t have a clue on who sent it. Just how you wanted it.

You turned your thoughts back to your friends, mixing your laughter with theirs. You had no idea what they were laughing at. These people are assholes, why do you hang out with them again? A small boy whimpered on the floor, his food spilled all over his body. Oh, that's why. Like hell you’d be on the receiving end of their bullying.

It’s not like you felt bad. School was a hierarchy, these poor people were just at the bottom. When you first got here, you quickly rose to be at the top. Not like you expected to be anything less. You held yourself to a high standard, of course you’d be at the top.

So it made you sick seeing how some of these people held themselves, especially Shigaraki. He looked and smelled like he only showers every other day, he alternated between 2 hoodies each week, did he even bother to wash them?

He barely talked to anyone, usually playing some videogame on his phone. Does he not care about himself? Well maybe that was why you targeted him, you just wanted him to be better. Nothing else.

Then you noticed how much of a pervert he was. If a girl was ever near him, his eyes would automatically shoot to their chests before awkwardly shifting away from them. In P.E, you found it funny how he’d try to hide his boners after seeing all the girls in their shorts. How gross, he’s a horny little virgin.

You almost felt bad, maybe if he smelt better, maybe if he wore better clothes, maybe if he just tried to take care of himself. It was no surprise that he wasn’t getting chicks. But then again, he didn’t look too confident in anything. Yet alone girls.

That’s when you had came up with a plan. You’d sleep with him. Don’t get it wrong, you had dignity. If it was anyone else, you’d probably make fun of them even more, maybe even expose their perverted behavior.

But Shigaraki looked so helpless, if he kept up with this he’d never get better. Maybe he’d become desperate enough to start touching girls on the train to school, how disgusting.

You were doing everyone a favor. This is just charity work.

“Hey.” Shigaraki jumped, what? He was even more confused then before, you? Why would you send him a letter to meet him alone after school? He stayed quiet, he backed into a desk as he heard the click of the door. Locked, shit, you locked the door. You probably were gonna beat him up, usually you’d have other people pick on him, was today finally the day you’d take more action?

“Stop sweating, I’m not here to do anything bad.” You walked in front of him, Shigaraki would be lying if he said he wasn’t terrified. “Um — why.. why did you want to meet me?” Shigaraki’s voice cracked and you almost laughed, has he ever even been alone in the same room as girl?

You decided to be blunt, there was no sugar coating what was about to happen. “You’re a virgin right, Shigaraki?” You brought your hands to the buttons of your shirt, slowly unbuttoning your top.

Shigaraki immediately felt himself starting to get hard at the sight of your bra. “What—” You rolled your eyes, doesn’t he get it? How dense can he be? “Just answer me.”

Shigaraki felt so humiliated, this was honestly worse then all the bullying he experienced from you. He has to admit to his bully that he’s a virgin, or better yet, that he’s never even gotten close touching a woman.

He couldn’t lie, I mean look at him! The most action he’s gotten was those JOI videos he’d watch late at night. “Yeah..” He whispered enough for you to hear, just incase anyone else was hiding in the room. “..Why?”

A smirk spread across your face, just like you thought. His red face was honestly so enjoyable to see, almost just as enjoyable as seeing him try to hide how hard he was.

“I know you’re hard, Shigaraki.” Your hands moved to his crotch, palming him. “Ah, ah! Wait! I’m—“ Holy shit, did he cum? Just from a bit of palming?

Your hands retracted from the damp fabric, “God, how pathetic can you be?” Shigaraki lowered his head, you didn’t want to know. You’re the first girl to ever touch him, he didn’t want to come that fast!

“I’m sorry! Please.. I’m still hard!” Now he’s begging? He was ready for you to laugh at him and leave him a gross mess. He would understand.

“Take it out.” Shigaraki could cry right there, you were serious! He didn’t know what made you want to do this now but he didn’t care. All that matter’s was you wanted to fuck him.

His mind flooded to what you guys could do, would you rub his now exposed dick? Would you take it in your mouth? Better yet, what could he do to you? He’ll learn quickly, he just wants to touch your boobs!

Suddenly, he was on the floor. He couldn’t even process what was going on before you straddled him. We’re skipping straight to it? This wasn’t necessarily what he saw in those porn videos but that’s okay. His hands moved to your chest, he saw this in the porn videos too! But your hand slapped his away, “Don’t touch me. You still stink.”

He frowned but it was quickly gone as he felt you lower yourself on him. Shit, shit, shit, he’s inside you! Inside a pussy! You already started moving and Shigaraki already lost it. This was better than what he could ever imagine!

You smirked at the scene, its barely been a minute and he’s out of it. His eyes were rolled back and he was moaning louder than you! You had to admit though, you were a bit surprised he even got past 30 seconds of being inside of you.

“Mhmm— m...mommy!” Now you could laugh, “Mommy? Really Shigaraki?” Tears were forming on the corner of his eyes, you weren’t sure if it was from your words or the pleasure but you preferred if it was from both.

“I’m sorry! It’s just— ah!” You angled yourself to hit deeper, “No, no, Shigaraki. Go ahead. I should’ve known you’d be into something like that.” His moans filled the room, you were lucky this hallway was always empty after school was done.

You felt him begin to twitch, already knowing he’s about to cum. Eyes narrowed down at his messy face, he’s trying to cum inside you without you knowing?

You stopped moving and brought him up so he wasn’t laying down anymore, “Y’know, for a virgin I’m a bit impressed.” Shigaraki whimpered when he felt you get off of him, the feeling of your warm cunt no longer around him.

“Wait! Please, please— I wasn’t done!” He whined watching you put your panties back on and button your shirt back up, “You were about to. You think I want your battery acid cum touching me?”

Snickering as he heard his desperate whimpers begging you to finish him off, an overwhelming feeling of power filled you. A fake annoyed sigh caught his attention, “Take a shower tomorrow. Also wear a different top for god’s sake. If you do— “You brought yourself to his level on the floor, “I might let you touch me.”

Shigaraki nodded furiously, “Yes! I promise! I will, I will!” You turned and unlocked to the door to leave, catching one more look at his messy state. A sigh was let out of you as you closed the door, the sounds of him moaning ‘mommy’s pussy’ as he finished himself off, made you giggle. How sad.

You rolled your eyes, clicking heels down the hallway. You might’ve just created a new problem for yourself.

#shigaraki x reader #tomura shiragaki #bnha x reader #dom reader #sub shigaraki #mommy #tw humiliation #tw degradation

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thetoadghoul · 3 years

Text

Volunteering: (Ohtani x Reader) <333 (Part - 2)

part 1!

plot: Wednesday’s game arrives which Ohtani invited you to, some bonding time before the first pitch <3 slowwwburn, long cause idk details are fun lol

Wednesday quickly arrived, made much faster by the crazy amount of work you were required to do for your ‘actual’ job. The last three days had been spent with you running around the LA area, as well as cyberspace, to serve your role as interpreter. It was hell, for more reasons than one. The biggest of all being that even though you were not in Japan at the moment, you were still required to wear a proper suit. That meant a tight navy skirt, stockings, and some blasted heels. Sexist men, long meetings, and endless paperwork aside, you enjoyed your job for the most part - but this aspect really wore on you. However, the pain in your feet wouldn't damper your excitement for tonight’s game. Today you were not actually volunteering at the Angels stadium.

The day before yesterday, when you were actually volunteering, a bashful Ohtani had tapped you on the back while you were picking up baseballs from the batting cages. When you turned around the giant man was holding out a lanyard with an attached document, marked ‘VIP Guest of Player’. It took all you had not to let your hands shake with nerves as you reached out and grabbed it gingerly.

“Uh, see you on Wednesday.” The man looked to the side awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.

“...Yeah.” You responded with a small smile, feeling stupid, but it was all you could think of.

“Well, uh, I better go...” He motioned behind his back with a lazy thumb, staring to jog backward.

You nodded quickly, rushing to go back to picking up balls before you said something super lame, or weird.

It wasn’t till you were on the way home did you take a look at the back of the stadium pass. It read ‘Guest of Shohei Ohtani’. So he had put in the request for you, that was just like him, so kind. It would be an understatement to say you weren’t excited for tomorrow.

-----

Currently, your heart was still racing, but for another reason other than a certain super cute and insanely talented baseball player. It was because it was almost three-thirty in the afternoon and you were running around your company-provided apartment, trying to get ready as fast as you could. Ippei let you know you should get there around four-thirty, by then the team would have been done warming up and starting to enjoy a pregame meal while the away team got the field to themselves. From that point onwards, pretty much everyone was free to relax in the clubhouse till just before the first pitch.

With little time to consider, not even enough time to take a shower after having just got off work, you went with an oversized red T-shirt, baggy jeans, and some cool Jordan’s. This was your go-to, and it was comfortable. You don’t have many clothes anyway, living out of a suitcase.

Right as you were about to run out of the door you remembered to grab your standard Angels cap, it had been provided to you as part of your volunteer uniform a while back, slipping it on over your tight work bun. You would let your hair down later.

All right, everything was in order, Uber scheduled, lanyard secured.

It took about half an hour to arrive at the stadium, and once it came into view, you instructed the driver to let you out in front of the ballpark entrance. It had been a long time since you got to go through the gates as a member of the audience, it actually gave you a wave of nostalgia seeing everyone in their gear, so hyped up for the game, tailing gating outside for what was probably hours.

Once you were through, you started walking through the concession stands and various other stalls, dodging around the fans that were already inside watching the warm-ups, as well as hanging out drinking and eating. There were pictures of Ohtani everywhere, people taking turns snapping pictures of each other in front of the various cutouts of him. The air was buzzing with energy, and it seemed like all for that guy. Honestly, you had worked for a couple different teams over the years, but you had never seen hype like this. It was surreal, seeing a legend in the making.

You smiled, gripping the lanyard around your neck, making your way through the stadium. Shohei was super nice to do this for you, really, you should show him your support. Maybe a quick peek in the team store would do? Plus, you deserved to spend some money on yourself. After all, this was the first time you had really been ‘out’ in the almost three months you had been in California. Your free time was either working, volunteering, video games, or sleep.

You took a couple moments in the Angel's merch shop, quietly perusing the aisles, keeping an eye out for any Ohtani-themed items. Unfortunately, there weren’t really that many, probably sold out by the fans. What was there, was way too small for you.

“Y/n, you here to watch the game?” A young voice sounded.

When you turned to see who addressed you, a familiar girl was standing there grinning.

“Hey Jordan! I didn’t know you were working tonight.” You grinned back.

Jordan worked at the store as a stock manager, she was close in age to you so the two of you often hung out. You had invited her over a couple times, both bonding over your love for crappy reality TV, beer, and of course, baseball.

“Yeah it was last minute, a girl was feeling sick and there wasn’t anyone else cept’ me.” She sighed.

“Bummer, text me if you need help?” You offered, to which she waved you off.

“Nah, you enjoy being here and NOT working.” She chuckled, walking over to organize a messy shelf.

“So, you looking for something in particular?” The girl glanced over her shoulder.

“Uh yeah, you recommend any cool Ohtani stuff? Or is there any at all... seems wiped clean in here.” You said while looking around.

“Ohtani? You here to cheer him on too then. Wanna catch his eye.” She teased.

“Don’t say it like I’m just here for my like, prince charming.” You snapped back playfully, but, maybe a little too fast.

“Aren’t you?” She pressed with an eyebrow.

“Okay, I’m leaving.” You pouted, fake walking away.

“I’m just kidding, actually, stay here for a second I might have something you’ll like.” Jordan yelled as she jogged off to the back room behind the counters.

You did as you were told and when she came back there was a large white Angels jersey in her hands.

“Ta-da!” She grinned, twisting it around to show the player’s name on the back.

“Oh, it’s in Kanji? That’s cool, I didn’t know these existed?” You questioned, running your finger over the ‘tani’ character of Ohtani.

“It’s the last one on the floor, had to grab it off the mannequin. Hope it’s not too big? It’s XL?” She questioned, passing it to you to hold.

“Nah it’s perfect, can’t you tell.” You joked holding the jersey next to you, while you showed off your oversized clothes.

“Figured it'd be fine, wanna get rung up? I’ll give you that ‘good good’ employee discount. But, don’t tell anyone.” She smiled, heading to the register, to which you nodded and jogged after her.

After you finished your purchase and waved bye to Jordan, it was time to head to the clubhouse. It was around five, so you were later than you planned but Shohei usually practiced batting in the cages a little while longer while everyone headed in. Slipping the plastic shopping bag into your purse, and ripping the tags off your new jersey, you slipped it on over your T-shirt, smoothing out the material as best you could. It felt great to finally have some real merch from the team, and part of you sort of wondered what Ohtani would think when he saw you. Hopefully, it wasn’t too much to just show up in his gear after he pretty much randomly invited you, let alone in the stadium-specific one, as you just learned from your colleague.

After you got to an employee-only doorway, you pushed on it hoping it was actually open. Ippei had also let you know via text that it would be unlocked for you. Another kindness of Shohei, not just inviting you, but making sure you had access to all the catering and AC inside the resisted area of the building. You slipped in and locked the door behind you, not wanting to encourage some intoxicated fans to follow. The hallway was empty and cool as you started making your way to the clubhouse.

You were admittedly a bit nervous by the time you got to the doors, feeling a bit awkward about strutting in as anyone other than a volunteer for the first time. Carefully you pushed open the door, making sure not to hit anybody. The room was full of chatter, some players eating, some playing cards, others watching TV on the room's monitors. You looked around for Ohtani, but he wasn’t there yet apparently. No matter, you strolled in and went for the snack area. Truthfully you hadn’t eaten since that morning, and that was just a toasted bagel. Turning your back to the rest of the room, you began filling up your plate with cocktail shrimp and grapes.

“Nice jersey.” Ippei said, coming up next to you, grabbing small sandwiches for his plate.

“Is that sarcastic?” You questioned with a smile, finishing your plate.

“Nah, I’m sure he likes it.” Ippei jerked his head to the left.

He? You leaned back to see around the man, meeting Shohei’s surprised face almost immediately. Had he been standing there the whole time? He had obviously been staring at your back, at his name, bashfully looking up to your face when you moved, blinking a couple times to clear his eyes.

“I uh, got it ten minutes ago.” You grinned awkwardly, pointing your thumb proudly at the jersey, hoping he wouldn’t think you were a weirdo.

The large player didn’t say anything, blinking more slowly this time before opting to just nod gently, with a quick “thanks for your support”, hurriedly leaning forward to start filling his plate with all kinds of foods.

—-

Once everyone had their food the three of you found a place to sit while you ate, it was at the back of the room away from the noise, and where the two usually sat before a game anyways. A small conversation started while the three of you ate calmly.

“Why... do you only have grapes, and shrimp?” Ohtani questioned suddenly, looking at your plate baffled. You looked down at it as well, pausing for a moment trying to find out what was so weird about that.

“Uh, well, it’s because... these things are... super expensive in Tokyo. It’s like a rich person food to me.” You smiled, eating a couple shrimps happily.

“Wow. That’s so sad.” Ippei chuckled before taking a bite of his sandwich.

Shohei on the other hand burst out laughing at your response, making you laugh a bit too at your pitiful confession.

“Seriously, I feel like a mega-rich, and very posh, Ginza lady right now - eating nothing but shrimp and fruit. So fancy right? ” You exclaimed, popping a grape in your mouth.

The Japanese player laughed even harder, tears building up as he wiped his eyes.

“Those people wouldn’t touch that stuff with a three-meter stick.” Ippei stated, letting out a small laugh.

“Just let me have my moment.” You pouted through a smile, shoving more shrimp in your mouth.

The other man calmed down finally and was now sitting there smiling while he ate.

“So, fancy y/n, are you okay to sit in the dugout tonight. Not too unrefined for you?” Ippei questioned with a smirk.

“That’s, allowed?” You asked, surprised.

“Yeah, if you want to. Can’t stay there the whole time, but.” The man responded nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s the best place to hear, ‘the surprise’.” Shohei added, food in the process of being shoved in his mouth.

“Well, doesn’t seem like there’s any other option.” You smiled at the player, who nodded in acknowledgment.

“He’s batting first tonight, you won’t have to wait long.” Ippei spoke, starting on the next sandwich.

“Hope me being in there won’t be bad luck.” You joked.

“You believe in that?” Ippei smirked.

“My family ingrained it into me, wasn’t allowed to watch a single super bowl game in the living room till I literally moved out.” You frowned, stabbing a grape.

“Harsh.” The man smirked with a small laugh under his breath.

“You will be good luck, for sure.” Shohei leaned forward in a hunch to take another bite of food, smiling sincerely at you as he looked up from his food.

“Then, I will see to it that will become a very good omen. Please believe in me.” You responded in the highest form of keigo you knew, bowing rigidly from your seat for comedic effect. Since you never studied that level of grammar, it was really freaking bad, causing the two men to laugh again.

“You’re funny.” Ippei chuckled.

“Yeah, and your Japanese is so good though?” Shohei exclaimed, eyebrows raised, eyes wide.

“Nah it’s pretty bad, I fell off the study wagon a long time ago.” You laughed awkwardly, waving a hand in front of your face.

“You’d be there forever if you stayed on.” Ippei chuckled again, while Shohei nodded in sullen agreement.

“Writing would be nice though, having to look up every other kanji at the doctor's office, or like city hall makes me literally sweat, like, a lot. Buckets. But when I look around, I'm the only one.” You giggled.

“You’re so honest.” Shohei chuckled, wiping his mouth with a napkin, still leaning forward in his chair, you grinned back at him. Your eyes locked for a while, you had never noticed, but his eyelashes were sort of long.

At that moment Ippei had to take a call, letting the two of you know he’d be back in a bit, walking off. The two of you looked away and finished eating in silence.

When you looked up from your empty plate, the large player was now staring at you with a soft expression. The warmth in his eyes made you blush, he didn’t even break his gaze once he was caught like he usually did. You responded back to him simply with a shy smile, before being the one to avert your own eyes to the floor again.

Thankfully at that moment, a group of Angels came over, slapping the Japanese man on the back, starting up a conversion. They were going over strategies for the game and overall just getting hyped up. You didn’t have much to input, so you just kind of sat there enjoying the excited chatter. Shohei smiled merrily the whole time, inserting little jokes, completely affected by their excitement. The way he carried himself really reminded you that the essence of baseball was really just about having fun with your teammates and giving it your all. He looked simply happy to be there, and it made you smile too, just watching him goof off. It was charming to see his duality of being a just big kid with endless laugher, versus the super-serious, and seasoned player he was on the mound.

You were really trying hard not to but, you were rapidly developing feelings for Shohei. The last three months of volunteering here, you of course thought he was really cute and kind, classic boyfriend material. A simple crush, like many of the girls working around him, surely had as well. However the possibility of you two actually dating had always been a foreign concept, one which stopped you from even considering it, at all, you just didn’t know if you even could. With you both traveling for work, how would there be time? Plus, what about the media? His family? Yours? All those things seemed unscalable walls, that is, until this moment, when you could feel his gentle eyes on you once again.

Maybe, there was something? Or maybe, he was just a super nice guy, and you were treated no different than anyone else.

When you snapped out of your thoughts, Shohei was starting to stand up, grabbing everyone’s empties plates. He reached his hand towards you, asking for the one in your hand with a tiny nod of his head, to which you thanked him, stood up, and handed it over.

Well.

Either way, you were so screwed.

-------

Hope you enjoyed! <3

#大谷翔平 #ohtani shohei #shohei ohtani #ohtani shohei imagines #shohei ohtani imagines #ohtani imagines #ohtani x reader #ohtani #ohtani angels

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