Cotton In My Ears
***EDITED 9/5 for clarity and accuracy***
“Steve,” Robin sing -songs as she walks into Family Video. He’s got his back turned away from the door, and he doesn’t even flinch when the bell jingles, signaling someone's arrival. She arches her eyebrow at the notion that her best friend is ignoring her. “Steve!” She says a little louder, clearing her throat for good measure, and once again, Steve doesn’t respond. She grumbles to herself and punches Steve lightly on the shoulder, “Quit ignoring me, asshole!”
Steve jumps so hard when she does this, she almost feels bad, did he really not hear her? “Robin! You scared me, I didn’t hear you come in!” He said, clutching his chest, showcasing his dramatic self. “I said your name like a hundred times!” She says exasperatedly, and Steve just shakes his head, smiling fondly at her. “You did not, Rob.” He laughs, and walks away, moving to another display to resume his restocking duties.
Robin clocks in and tries not to think about the odd interaction for the rest of the day, but as she watches Steve during their shift, she can’t help but get a little curious. Is Steve really deaf? After all this time… Can he not hear? How did it go unnoticed all this time? Surely his parents would have noticed? Robin decides to keep an eye on the elusive boy, she’s determined to get to the bottom of his strange behavior.
Over the next few days, she doesn’t notice anything strange about Steve, he’s just… Steve. But he always prefers to face people when they’re talking, and he doesn’t respond all that much when she speaks to him on his left side. These aren’t new things though, is it possible she’s missed these things? Brushed them off like everyone else? The guilt weighs heavy in her chest, she needs to bring out the big guns.
Dustin Henderson.
She dials his number, having gotten from Steve after their “just incase” phone number trading session, for someone who can be a little bit of an airhead, Steve is pretty smart, considering everything. Just that though makes her heart break, maybe he just couldn’t hear all those things he was being taught in class. “Fuck,” she says to herself while listening to the phone ring. “Hello?” Claudia Henderson answers the phone, “Hi! This is Robin- I’m uh. I'm friends with Dustin!” She rambles out quickly, itching to start the conversation. “Oh, okay. Give me just a second, dear!” Robin hears some rustling, and she pulls the phone away from her ear as the cheery lady shouts on the other side of the line. “Dusty! Phones for you!” There's a pause and more rustling, she can hear Dustin, “Yeah, thanks mom. -Okay, okay! Yes, okay! I won’t take too long. Okay. Yeah, I’ll be at the table for dinner right after this- Okay! Mom, please.”
Robin giggles at the bickering on the other side of the call, but she’s reminded of the task at hand when Dustin’s voice crackles over the speaker. “Hello? If this is Steve just meet me at our talking place,-” Robin cuts him off, “Dustin! It’s Robin- Wait. you and Steve have a talking place?”
“Well- Yeah. He can’t hear over the phone y’know?”
“Yeah, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about! What is all this about Steve not being able to hear?”
She hears Dustin sigh and shift the phone from one hand to the other, “I'm really not supposed to tell anyone about this but,”
There's a pause and Robin listens intently. “Steve is hard of hearing, always has been, with the trauma and everything… It just got worse. Look, Robin. I'm only telling you this because you noticed, it’s not surprising how long it’s taken… He’s really good at hiding it. Too good.” There’s a beat of silence as Robin takes in the information, everything has clicked into place. “Hey, I gotta go, my mom wants me for dinner. You should really talk to Steve though. He’s more open about it now…” He trails, and without waiting for her to respond he hangs up, leaving Robin in the quiet of her room.
She thinks back to Ms. Click’s class, how he always talked really loud, even when he was “whispering” and he always looked at the person's lips while they were speaking. She attributed all these things to Steve being a douche, or a huge flirt but she was wrong. Her whole world view came crashing down at this moment, how many views had she made herself believe out of hate for another person? Sure, Steve did some dick things, but maybe… Maybe it wasn’t always just his horrible personality. She knows this doesn't excuse some of his actions, like the whole thing with Jonathan, but… But, maybe the traits she's come to hate the most are things he can’t help. And suddenly she felt guilty for how mean to him she was his first couple of weeks at scoops, she just thought he wasn’t paying attention, she thought he was being dense on purpose to make fun of her.
Tears pricked at her eyes, in her quest to avoid assholes and douchebags, she almost became one. “Fuck.” She whispered again, she was still holding the phone and the dial tone rang out from the speaker, she set it back in its rest and scrubbed a hand over her face. She really needed to talk to Steve.
The next day she walks into their shared shift, running her speech through her head over and over in preparation for the conversation, but the plan flies out the window when Steve turns to her with a look and says, “We need to talk…” Robin gulps, she doesn’t mean to, but her throat feels like it’s closing and her heart is speeding hum. Steve must notice her change in mood because the next thing out of his mouth is, “Oh god. That sounded scary, I’m sorry- It’s. I just need to tell you something.” He rambles, and she smiles at him, letting her shoulders drop in relief. “I thought you were mad at me.” She says, eyes casting down at the floor, and Steve makes a confused noise, “Mad at you? I thought you were mad at me!” He says, punching out a breathy laugh.
“What? Why would I be mad at you?” She says, returning the exasperation. Steve looks sheepish, “I know… Sometimes it seems like I’m ignoring you… But I- I promise I’m not!” Robin knows what's coming, next but she lets Steve take a shuddering breath and continue telling his story.
“When I was younger, my parents hated me… They thought I wasn’t paying attention but… I just couldn’t- I couldn’t hear them, and. I when I told them that they said I was lying… So I figured they were right. When I was in fourth grade the school did that… Hearing test thingy and I failed it.” He pauses, eyes shifting, he runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Well, they found out I wasn’t lying and that was almost worse. They didn’t do anything, they just lived life like it was normal, and then they started leaving me alone not long after that.” Robin’s eyebrows furrow as she listens to Steve recall his childhood. “I worked really hard by myself to learn how to read lips, and I tried to learn sign language but- It’s really hard without a teacher and,” Steve takes a deep breath, pausing for a second. “I couldn’t- It’s Hawkin’s, you know? I didn’t know anyone else who’s deaf or whatever and I just. I didn’t want to be the odd one out. So… I tried really hard to fake it, you know?” And yeah, Robin knows.
Robin frowns, opening her mouth to say something, but Steve continues before she gets the chance, “So… So, long story, trauma dump short… I’m deaf. Well hard of hearing technically, but. I just. I wanted you to know that I’m not ignoring you. If I was, you’d know it,” He jokes, trying to lighten the somber mood, but Robin isn’t letting him change the conversation just yet. “Steve, your parents suck, and I’m sorry, you deserve better. And as for your hearing, we can think of ways to let each other know were here so I don't accidentally sneak up on you.” She says, and Steve cracks a watery smile at this, “Thanks, Rob.” He says softly, pulling her into a tight hug, which she gratefully returns.
—--------------
From then on out, they have a system that works, it works great, so she passes it on to Dustin too. And it works so well that Steve lets them share it with everyone else. And now there's lights that flash when someone walks in the door at Family Video, and when people are approaching Steve, they know to walk a bit heavier, so he can feel the vibration. And when they’re somewhere they have to talk quietly, they take the small notebooks Joyce bought for everyone and write back and forth. Eventually, Steve and Robin learn sign language together, Steve being a little more advanced having known a few signs already. That too catches on, and soon Steve’s family knows it too. His parents… They can’t be bothered, but his family, his real family, they care. And they learn because they want to, not because they feel obligated.
NOTES: If there is anything I can do to make this more accurate to the deaf experience please let me know.
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The expectations from everyone around him had been too much. His sister and teachers wanted him to be a good student. His friends wanted him to be the perfect hero. The town wanted him to be everywhere, all at once. And his parents wanted him strapped down to a table.
Danny couldn't take it anymore. It was all just too much. So he left. He disappeared, covering his tracks and only leaving a note to let everyone know he was okay.
He traveled a while before he eventually encountered some heroes investigating an occult crime. All he did was give them a little hint and suddenly they were all over him. He had panicked for a second. Memories of his suffocating past came to him. But to Danny's surprise, these heroes were more worried about him than anything. Something about the knowledge he possessed being dangerous.
It actually felt a little nice being worried over like that and before he knew it, Danny found himself tagging along with these heroes. Apparently they were called the Justice League Dark and their whole schtick was investigating the occult.
Danny had thought he was over the whole hero thing, but he didn't mind helping the JLD. There where finally capable adults in his life who protected him. Who cared for him. They never expected him to balance two contradicting responsibilities. Nor did they expect him to be their main heavy hitter when facing a threat.
For the first time since he had turned on that stupid machine, Danny was allowed to be a kid again. He was allowed to be annoying, to ask a million questions (no matter how dumb) and most importantly, he was allowed to have fun.
Being a hero with the Justice League Dark never felt like the world ending pressure he was under back home. They had even told him he was welcome to quit anytime! Not that he wanted to.
Sure, Danny felt guilty about never contacting his friends and family and letting them know how he was doing. But he was scared. Scared that they might try some way to force him back home.
He could never go back to that place, he just couldn't. To do that would truly crush his soul.
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