#his job is literally to give people a second chance the same way he took his except he actually wants to make life easier for others | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xxblairexxss · 10 months

Text

Doudou

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (Charles’s ending)

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x reader

Theme : Fluff / Angst

Not sure if I should do part 2 for this. Sorry for any mistakes I haven’t proofread it yet!

“You two lovebirds need to get a room.” Joris rolled his eyes as he walked inside Charles’s driver room to get his jacket and and immediately headed out. Charles and you were all cuddled up together on the couch with hands around your frame.

“This is literally my room, Joris.”

“Yeah, whatever. It’s time for media activities, Charles. Get up, get up! She’s not going anywhere.”

“She won’t be able to go anywhere I’m not letting her go.” Charles waggled your body that was leaning against him before brushing his lips on your hair.

“You are so silly. Go! Joris will get mad if you don’t get going now.”

“Wait for me, doudou.”

Doudou, the nickname that he would always call you. He came up with the nickname when you guys were kid and stopped calling you by your name. You even forgot what your name sounded like with his voice.

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If you told your 14 years old self that your childhood friend would become the 1st Monegasque driver since Beretta in 1994, of course you would believe it in a second because you knew how talented he was but if you told your younger self that you would be his girlfriend and travelled the world to accompany him for his F1 races, you would have rolled your eyes because that was just impossible. But it happened, and it was like a dream come true. You had always knew you had feelings for him but you never thought it was reciprocated. Your friendship with Charles had turned into something more when he joined F2. A year later, he made his debut in F1. The media coverage, the attention he got was way different. Please started shouting his name when he arrived in the paddock, his social media went from a normal, “I drive fast cars as my part-time job” kid to pictures that were professionally taken but he would sneaked pictures of you whenever he got a chance because he was still the Charles you knew, your Charles.

When people started following Charles on his Instagram, they would happened to find your account as well so your followers started growing, not as much as his, but still a lot for a university student like you, who didn’t qualify to be an influencer. Charles didn’t hide you from the public. Everyone knew who you were though he never put you in any spotlight because you felt uncomfortable. You would never missed any chances to be in the paddock whenever you had a break from your study but there were a few times where you could only wished him good luck through a video call. He didn’t mind, at all. He knew how hard it was to catch up with your law studies and he wanted to support you as much as you did. Your Charles had always be so understanding.

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, katerinaberezhna and 67,554 others

ynusername no books just hot chocolate 🍫

charles_leclerc doudou 🧸

liked by ynusername

username aaaaa so prettyyyyy

ynsername merciii 🫶🏻

username We miss you in the paddock

username where’s the dress from pretty? ❤️

charles_leclerc

Liked by ynusername, pierregasly and 1,100,069 others

charles_leclerc 2 weeks break meaning I am back with my lovely girl

username Imagine getting a podium and come back to the most beautiful girl ugh so lucky

username oh i would be obsessed with myself too if i look like that

username FAV COUPLE EVER

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“Baby, should I wear this one? Or this one?” You took out two piece dress with different colour.

“Are you serious? Doudou, we are just gonna go and get groceries down the street.” Charles looked at you in disbelief and let out a cackle.

“I know.. but I just bought these two and I don’t know which one to wear first.” You heaved a sigh and pout when he didn’t give you the answer you wanted.

“Alright, alright. Try the purple one. It looks pretty.” He scanned on the two outfits on your hand, they looked the same so he didn’t know why you would have difficulty to choose but he didn’t said it out loud because it was the time of the month and you would sulk at almost everything he questioned.

“I think I wanna try the green one first. Can you wait until I do my hair first? Pleaseee.” Well, don’t ask why you were getting ready as if you were invited for Met Gala. You just felt like going extra today, that was it. A very valid reason.

“Go on, doudou. I’ll wait here and maybe, I don’t know, take a nap or something.”

“You are the best. I’ll make it as quick as I can!” It took you 1 hour, but Charles didn’t mind at all. Your Charles had always been so patience.

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charles_leclerc

Manhattan, New York

Liked by pierregasly, joris_trouche and 965,407 others

charles_leclerc I’m a photographer, driver, chef and a boyfriend. Very multitalented.

ynusername I think you are the best at being a boyfriend not sure about chef 🤔

username parentsss

username these two are always having trip together i swear i saw fanpages updated about them being in maranello yesterday

username are they each other’s first love?

username yeupp ❤️

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“No, why is it not as crunchy as the one I saw on Tiktok. Right, baby? You passed the tuna avocado sandwich to your boyfriend and waited for his reaction. You had asked Charles to try Joe & The Juices in New York because you have been seeing people talked high about it and the sandwich had been everything you talked to Charles on your way here to New York.

“Hm? Not bad. It tasted like tuna and avocado….sandwich?” Charles had told you it wasn’t gonna taste anything special and now that he got a taste of it, he would have said I told you so but seeing how disappointed you got, he just let out a silent chuckle.

“It’s not funny! They all made it seemed so good. Did we buy the wrong one?”

“It’s because you had so much expectations on it, doudou. I can make you better one. I’m a good chef, remember?” He pinched your cheeks and hold your hand as you continued walking along the skyscrapers.

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kymillman

Liked by 435,765 others

kymillman Charles’s childhood sweetheart has arrived at the paddock!

username THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND

username She’s STUNNING

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“I lost focus. It’s my fault. I could have won the podium.”

You could feel his lips against your neck as he had his body flushed against yours. You knew whenever he came up to you in this position, he needed cuddle and he wanted you to massage his head. Your Charles had always been so affectionate, a secret trait of him that no one knew.

“It wasn’t your fault, baby. The car wasn’t the best and despite all the problems it had, you still managed to push until P4 and that was amazing. I don’t think there’s a lot of drivers out there who can drive that bouncy car pass the finish line at all. Podium or not, you did a wonderful job.”

He didn’t reply and you thought he had fallen asleep because of how calm his breathing was against your skin but then you heard him said

“I love you so much, doudou. So, so much.”

But he stopped being everything he had been these past few weeks.

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“Charles, are we okay?” You had realised that he had been different these past few weeks. He didn’t joke around like he usually did, he didn’t annoyed you with back hugs when you cooked and did your makeup like he usually did, he didn’t smile as genuine as he always did, the dimples on his face looked forced.

And he didn’t want to talk. You knew the season had been harsh on him but he always came to you and sought solace in a form of touch but he stopped doing it.

“Yeah, we are fine. Can you stop asking me that?” He stopped the movie from playing to look at your worried face.

“That’s what you said every time I ask the questions but you never told me the truth.”

“What truth do you want, doudou? Please, can we not talk about this?” Charles stood up and began walking into the room.

“You have been so different. The last time we had a proper talk was weeks ago. You didn’t even hold me anymore. Did I do anything wrong? Charles! I’m talking to you!” You raised your voice but you saw him walking away like he always did whenever you brought up this topic.

“I’m tired. We are not talking about this, doudou. Please.” You saw him took his watch and wallet from the dressing table and knew he was going out. He preferred going out.

“You are tired and you are going out? Does that even make any sense? You always avoid talking about this while I’m trying to fix this. I’m trying to fix us!” You trailed behind him and gripped on his arm to stop him from walking away.

“I don’t know what you want me to do. I’m tired of your behaviour, doudou. You are asking for too much. Give me a fucking break!” Charles swayed your arm away and the moment he looked at you, your heart shattered. He’s not your Charles, the person in front of you wasn’t your loving boyfriend. Charles wouldn’t curse at you, he wouldn’t raise his voice at you. The man in front of you was a stranger.

“I—I’m sorry.” Stunned, you pulled your arm away and placed your hand on your chest, as if you could cover the sadness from him.

“I can’t do this anymore. Everything becomes a burden. You become a burden to me and I need a break, we need a break.“

“I’m a burden to you? Charles, I just needed reassurance because—“

“You always think of yourself! I just want to come home and be left alone but you always try to get involved with my life. I can’t even control my own life now, can I? Oh, I’m your boyfriend so I need to update you with everything that happened in my life every second of it. I need to hug you all the time so won’t feel lonely? I need to be with you all the time because you need some fucking reassurance? You are ridiculous, doudou.”

‘I’m afraid of losing you’ was the words you were gonna tell him before he cut you off.

“Fine, go. I won’t be in your way.” You used your arm sleeve from his oversized hoodie to wipe your tears and stormed into the room. You thought he would follow you, your Charles would, but you heard the sound of a door closed but it wasn’t the door to the room.

12 years of friendship, 5 years of relationship but he chose to walk away.

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f1wagsupdate

Liked by 23,657 others

f1wagsupdate One of our followers sent a picture of Charles spotted in Monaco with someone and it wasn’t Y/N 👀

username I knew they broke up when she wasn’t seen in any of the gp at all

username Nooooo 😭

username It’s too early to judge guys let’s wait until monaco gp y/n never missed it

kymillman

Liked by 104,657 others

kymillman Charles arriving at the paddock with someone new!

username It’s the same girl he was spotted with last week

username no more childhood sweetheart

username I MISS DOUDOU 💔😔

charles_leclerc

Liked by charlottesiine, pierregasly and others

charles_leclerc Home race always feel special. 🤍 Had a great time with them. leclerc_pascale lorenzotl charlottesiine

charlottesiine 🤍

username DON’T TALK TO ME

username my heart broke i felt like I was the one who went through a break up 😔

username what happened to y/n 😭

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You didn’t see Charles at all after he walked out of the apartment. He didn’t call, didn’t text. All of a sudden he became a part of your memories. You took a break from social media during your last year of law school so you were completely clueless with whatever had been going on. It was already the 12th race of the season where you found yourself at the grandstand with your best friends because she got free tickets and who would say no to free tickets so you were there because she knew you had always been a fan. You have always loved Formula 1, your break up with Charles didn’t wither down your passion for the sport.

The crowd suddenly went loud and you saw it on the big screen, your first love with a girl. He looked happy, he looked like your old Charles.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I really didn’t—“ Your friend exhaled a sign, feeling apologetic at at what just happened.

“Hey, it’s okay. It doesn’t affect me.” You nudged her and smiled.

At first you were sad, you were sad she received the smiles you did. Oh, but it had been so long since he's smiled, you couldn't help but smile too.

f1wags__

Liked by 34,558 others

f1wags__ Y/N spotted at Japan GP! A fan sent this to us saying they bumped into Y/N and her friend at the grandstand area

username No more ferrari tags around her neck 💔

username We missed her sm!! ❤️

username cant imagine what she felt when she saw charles with his new girl

ynusername

Liked by francisca.cgomes and 224,537 others

ynusername horsey and bows 🎀🐴

username you are back!!!

username QUEEN is back

username happiness looks good on you

#f1 imagines #f1 imagine #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc imagines #f1 x reader

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lildoodlenoodle · 11 months

Text

I dont know if I’ve ever discussed this particular head-canon so I’m gonna do it now. As always I love to hear thoughts on my theories so don’t be afraid of reblogging with tags and the comment section!

I don’t think spider noir goes by the name Peter Parker in his universe, I think he goes by Benjamin Urich.

NOW LET ME EXPLAIN

It’s not just convenient to have a different name than Peter Parker meta wise for distinguishing the different universe’s Parkers, I have actual reasoning. But first we have to talk about universe 90214 Ben Urich, the original. (This is going to b very generalized)

This version of Urich is an investigative reporter, who was really good at his job. So good in fact he’s associated with the likes of J Jonah Jameson(in this universe the bugle is a real newspaper who reports the facts despite criminal/political threats). There’s a lot implied that he used to work a lot more closely with Jonah and Felicia Hardy to run an information network, or web, to inform the public and keep organized crime in check. This is what earned him the name the ‘Spider’. To reiterate, the spider was an anonymous identity that few knew Urich was. However, over time he became addicted to drugs and began to take cuts from the organized crime he was supposedly working against. More specifically: the Goblin, who’s basically a mob boss in this universe. He had gone dirty, which is why I suspect his previous colleagues put some distance between them.

Fast forwards: Urich takes on Peter Parker as an apprentice after getting him out of a fight with some of Goblin’s goons outside of a protest. Peter becomes largely frustrated working for Urich due to just watching and reporting instead of doing something, this is evident during the apartment fire scene. Peter wants revenge on the Goblin for the death of Ben Parker and keeps pushing for Urich to go after him, but because of Urich’s deal with Goblin he essentially gives Peter busy work. This ultimately leads to Peter getting his powers. Later on Peter finds out that Urich has been hoarding information on the Goblin but is getting drugs from the Goblin so he’s not releasing it. He’s angry, there’s a shouting match. This ultimately inspires Urich to publish the Goblin’s information but also causing him to be killed by the chameleon in retaliation. While this was happening Peter swings in in his spider gear and mask to attack the goblin. They all assume this is Urich underneath the mask, and call him the spider. And later on people assume this masked spider is the same one who ran the information web.

Now as to the why I think Peter took the name Benjamin Urich: As seen above Peter is very much taking Urich’s place. He’s already taking the Spider’s name and it’s very convenient to have another alias to use with it. Especially one that people(from the underground at least) already associate the spider with. It’s quite literally perfect, too perfect, but that’s another post and has to do with the spider god. We already know he has a lot of heavy feelings with the name Benjamin for his uncle as well as his own middle name, which could be used against this theory. With that said I also think in this universe Peter doesn’t feel a whole lot like Peter after the spider bite. And maybe it’s gradual, but it most certainly starts with the spider bite/god. He is not the same person by the end of his run to say THE LEAST. Taking on a new identity, especially the one of Ben Urich, a man who wanted to do good, to be good but fell short, who wanted a second chance and didn’t really get it, would be a fantastic way narratively for Peter to express that.

And finally, because this Peter Parker is not the Peter Parker that May wanted him to be, but he is exactly who Benjamin Urich wanted him to be.

254 notes · View notes

pasta-in-the-pudding · 6 months

Note

Hiiiii! Can I request Eyeless Jack who’s been redeemed and back to normal by angel s/o who is like benevolent like Goddess Madoka Kaname? I’m sure EJ deserves better, and this is wholesome!

Aaaah!! Another very creative ask!! Today is my lucky day <33

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Redeemed!Jack x Angel!reader

Jack came to terms with his newfound demon transformation fairly quickly

Don't get me wrong, he was very depressed for a year or so, knowing he was betrayed by people he thought were friends

But after he got out of that slump, he was able to find some silver lining in the situation

His senses were hightened, giving him better hearing and a better sense of smell

He is way faster and stronger

And he can go way longer without food

Pretty decent, you know, in light of being betrayed and sacrificed

So unlike BEN, when faced with the idea of his humanity being gone, he isn't entirely heart broken

But when you come into his life, its almost an ethereal thing

You make him feel dizzy and light, as if all his sins are gone and he is just free to exist, weightless and happy

Your relationship is built on the foundation of trust, so he'd follow you to the ends of the world if need be

So when you bring up the topic of redemption and freeing him of all his troubles and mistakes, he trusts that if thats what you want for him, it is ultimately the best thing for him

Despite all the happy things i just mentioned, being a demon of his type does come with its setbacks

And despite how hard he tried to not let it affect him, it was still really, really hard getting adjusted

He is almost entirely blind, only being able to see heat patterns

His skin is super sensetive, so he has to be really careful doing literally anything

His nails are really long now, so that took some getting used to

And his teeth get in the way of almost all his meals

So one night when he just can't take it anymore and breaks down, you are there to help him

To redeem him

The process is very short, lasting only a few seconds, but in Jack's view it was almost in slow-mo

He felt light and airy, like how he did when he first met you

He felt like he was being bathed clean of all his sins and regrets

And towards the end, he felt like he was being reborn, fresh to the world once again

He was out of it for a while, only being able to be awake in short spurts, leaving you to carry him to his bed and cover him up, making sure he was comfy before heading off to get him some water

When he awakes, you are sitting at his side

At first he thinks that maybe he just got so angry at himself he passed out

But when he reaches out to you, he notices that his hands arent grey anymore

Instead, his light brown skin is back, along with his short nails

He sits up straight and rolls up his sleeves, seeing the same skin all along his arms

He does his best to stand, stumbling a bit before rushing into the bathroom and looking in the mirror

His eyes are back, his skin is back to a tan brown color, his lips are plump and pinkish again, his ears arent pointed anymore

He's a human again

At first, he's freaked out by the notion

The entire life he's built for himself is entirely based on the fact that he's a demon

He's probably gonna get fired now, and he's probably gonna get kicked out of the underworld, with all his memories of his friends wiped away without as much of a glance at his pitiful face

But then he thinks for a moment

This is his second chance to have a life

A life with you no less

He can start over

He can be good

He'll finish medical school, and get a job, he'll rent an apartment and you two can get married and have children!

The thoughts flood his mind of his new life, but before he can tell any of this to you, he is passing out again, leaving you to carry him to bed once more and tuck him in

#creepypasta #slender mansion #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x female reader #eyeless jack x male reader #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack creepypasta #eyeless jack

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mercedesvince · 10 months

Note

Hihi I’m kinda new to requesting and I didn’t know if yours was still open or not. But you are doing the people’s work cause I can’t find x male readers anywhere 😭

Can you do a Kenny x male Reader where the reader remembers Kenny’s deaths but because no one talks about it, reader doesnt say anything

Then one night, somehow Reader bumps into Mysterion (not knowing he’s kenny) and asks him to look over Kenny to keep him from dying every day?

Thank youuu 🫶

Kenny McCormick x Male Reader

“Can You Just Watch Over Him?”

Getting out of bed had never been this hard. Your alarm had gone off nearly 20 minutes ago, you knew you were gonna have to rush to get to school, but that didn’t matter right now. You couldn’t get over it. Your best friend in the whole world, Kenny McCormick, was gone. Dead. Some aliens who had also taken Kyle’s little brother had killed him.

The snow made a small crunch sound as you took steps towards your everyday bus stop. You reached your stop, only to be met with a.. pleasant surprise? “Kenny..?” you said, shock clearly evident on your face. “What’s up dude?” he muffled out. “What- Wait wait but you—“ you couldn’t even get your words out. Were you dreaming? No way Kenny’s here. He died. He literally fully died yesterday. “Hey [name] what’s up man?” Stan said. They all continued to carry out the conversation. So casually, did they not remember? No way, Stan and Kyle had to remember, no way Cartman wouldn’t bring it up. “Hey [name], are you alright dude?” Kenny asked you, with his muffled voice. Still in a phase of shock, you looked at all of them, they were all so nonchalant, so chill. “Yeah… yeah, yeah i’m fine,” you answered.

——————————————————————————

You walked your way out of the mall next to Stan, laughing at some joke he had made. You both had landed a job in retail together a few months ago, and as of recently your manager had been pairing you guys up for the closing shift.

Originally, you had asked Kenny to come into the job interview with you, not only because he was your best friend (and you may or may not have grown a thing for him in the last couple years), but because you wanted to keep a closer eye on him. You would continuously go out of your way to keep him safe, and prevent as many as his deaths as possible. He ended up turning you down though, something about how he was busy. He didn’t give too many details, but you didn’t push on it, figuring if it was something he wanted you to know he’d tell you. But Stan didn’t need to know he was your second option.

“Alright man, i’ll see you tomorrow,” “Yeah, goodnight [name], i’ll see you tomorrow.” Parting your ways with Stan, you pulled your phone out, shooting your parents a quick text that you were heading home. Putting your phone in your pockets, you kept your hands in them, making your way home.

However, your walk was interrupted when you suddenly felt a pull on your arm jerking you into a small alleyway. Immediately you felt your back slam against a wall, “Give me your wallet!” You hadn’t even processed what was happening, but in a second of your fight or flight response activating, you threw a kick at the guy in front of you. Catching him off guard you used your chance to escape and run up a fire escape a few feet away from you. you managed to run up a flight of stairs before the same man grabbed your feet, causing you to trip. In a panic you tried to wriggle your way out, ignoring the pain from falling on the stairs. You tried to kick the man with your free leg, but he just wouldn’t let go, dragging you down the stairs toward him, that is until he was suddenly pulled over the railing.

Still feeling the adrenaline and panic in your body you listened to your flight response and ran up the fire escape as quickly as possible. You only stopped to catch your breath at the very top of the building. Taking a minute to get your thoughts together you leaned on a small brick fence on the roof.

You had managed to calm down for the most part, that is until you heard a voice behind. You jolted up and immediately spun around, getting ready to make a run for it. “Hey, relax, i’m just making sure you’re okay,” You focused on the person in front of you, recognizing who it was after a second. The famous hero, Mysterion. “Oh my god,” was all you could get out. “I asked if you were okay, but looking at you know I don’t think you are”. You had heard about him on the news before, I mean which South Park resident hasn’t? “Your Mysterion,” you stated. Obviously. “You’re hurt” he responded. Adrenaline still rushing through your body, you hadn’t realized the stinging feeling on your lower face. Suddenly becoming self aware, you reached up to your face and looked at your hand, blood. “Oh my god,” You repeated. “Let me help you,” you looked up again to the hero, unable to say anything but a small ‘okay’.

——————————————————————————

The hero that saved you had gone to go get some supplies to help with a cut that had appeared on your chin. After he came back he began to clean up the wound, finally placing a small bandaid on it.

“Thanks again dude, you probably saved my life,” Mysterion looked up to meet your eyes, “It’s my job,” you thought for a second. “You mean it’s your job to keep the people of South Park safe?” the both of you just continued making eye contact.

“Yes.”

“Can I ask you a favor then?”

Mysterion looked suprised, not expecting you to ask such a question. “Go ahead”.

“I have this friend, his names Kenny McCormick,” you had turned away at this point, unable to see the uneasiness in Mysterion at the mention of the name. “He’s like, my best friend in the world, but he’s always getting himself into danger. I don’t know how he does it, but he keeps getting himself hurt, damn, even killed,” Mysterion’s eyes shot wide open. No. There’s no way you knew. How did you know? How did you remember? “but he always comes back. I try to look out for him, but it’s like the world’s against him. I know this might be weird to ask and stuff cause I don’t know you and you don’t owe me anything,” you took a pause, and turned to look at Mysterion. “but could you look out for him? You’re the town’s hero, and you protect and save people and I know you’re busy, but could you just check in on him every now and then? I mean I know he’ll be okay, he always is in the end, but know one around us ever seems to remember and seeing your friend get continuously killed over and over again, it just, I don’t know, tears you apart.” you took a small inhale. “I can’t imagine it’s not painful for him either”.

Mysterion was taken aback, because he WAS Kenny McCormick, and ironically enough, he had spent the last few weeks watching over YOU. Making sure you got from school to you job and from you job to your home safe. All because you were his best friend. All these years, since elementary, he had been watching over you as Mysterion, only to find out that you had tried to do the same thing. Except you didn’t do it with a superhero alter ego, you didn’t do it as a way to also protect the people of South Park. You did it as his best friend, simply trying to keep him from pain.

The biggest shock of all however, came from the fact that you knew, you remembered, every single one of his deaths. Why didn’t you ever say anything?

“I know it sounds crazy, but i’m not lying,” Mysterion stared at you for a second, “Well, why didn’t you ever tell him you remember?” Truth is you had thought about bringing it up to him, but what if he didn’t want you to know? What if it upset him if he knew? Would he feel guilty? Would he be mad at you for not doing anything to stop it? “I don’t know,” was the answer you chose to respond with. There was silence between you two for a minute, before Mysterion broke it. “I’ll keep an extra watch on him,” was all he said, he began to walk off. “Thank you!” you yelled. He could hear the joy in your voice. You saw Mysterion walk down the fire escape, but when you went to follow him he was no longer there, you made your way home, unaware of the fact that you were still being followed by the hero.

Kenny kept thinking about you even after he saw you enter your house. All this time you knew? How much did this affect you? Him constantly dying has bothered him so much, but to know that you might share the same pain as him? Again the thought plagued in his head, as to why you never told him. Maybe he’ll talk about it with you, as Kenny this time.

When you finally laid down in bed, you thought back to your conversation with Mysterion, but as you went over your words with him, you started thinking. Why didn’t he doubt you? How did you immediately know who Kenny was? He had asked you why you never told Kenny you knew about his deaths, but… you never mentioned that Kenny was unaware of you knowing.

#south park #south park x male reader #south park x reader #kenny mccormick #kenny x male reader #x male reader #kenny mcormick x reader #kenny mccormick x male reader

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astolfofo · 1 year

Text

You shudder at the sensation.

Blood... blood... blood. It’s everywhere you go, it’s on you, it’s on the ground, and it’s on the enemy’s dead body. You recognized a long time ago, and it was still clear as ever: murder tore away at an invidual’s humanity. You had saw it from old friends that became criminals. You had saw it from inviduals in psycharic hospitals. Hell, you even saw it in policemen who did it for other people’s sake.

Once you kill once, you’ll never be the same.

It doesn’t matter who it is. Whether they were from the port mafia, from the armed dectective agency, or a regular civilan. To cause the loss of life causes irriversible damage to an invidual’s spirit and soul.

However, that didn’t mean that there were various ways that murder shapes people: you vaguely remeber being a spy for the port mafia once or twice before the project was abandoned. After all, at that time, the port mafia was a stronger force than the entire military combined. And you were just one mere invidual with an ability; one that was recognized by your division in the military, but only that. Plus, as strong as you were, one person was an ant compared to entirety of the port mafia. You’d be torn to shreds within seconds of your infiltration.

Yet, you were still able to bypass the security by your ability, which was nothing short of a miracle. And once you did, you did manage to gather some valuable intel on the mafia, which nearly cost your life. But nonetheless, it was important information.

You paid dearly for that decision.

You had always known after infiltrating the mafia, there would be a very, very, very high chance that either you would be killed, or an investigation would be launched after you. The mafia would be able to figure out who you were, and they may as well have tabs on you for the rest of your life. You’d never know privacy again.

Well, you had never expected it to happen this way.

You looked down at your hand, as a numbing feeling took over you. You weren’t sure if it was fear, or anger, or relief. Maybe a combination of all three. But, as you looked over, see blood seeping onto the concrete. You cringed. You knew murder was inevitable with a job like yours, but you hadn’t expected it to be so soon. You wonder why the port mafia were still following you after two years. You would have expected them to give up by now.

Yet as soon as you were about to stand up you heard the aiming of another gun. Slowly, you turn your head around, to see that it was none other, than another port mafia member.

Not just any port mafia member, but specifically port mafia executive, Dazai Osamu.

Well. This was bad news for you. Cornered by one of the mafia executives of the port mafia, and one of the most ruthless ones to date. You’d probably be nothing but a blood smear within the next two minutes. Your intuition told you to run as fast as you could, but a more rational part told you that it’d be useless either way.

And from how his face looked, you could tell, he wasn’t going to give you a quick and painless death either. It shaped up to look like you weren’t running your way out of this one. And from the old intel you gathered, his ability would render using yours useless.

“You have two choices.”

To be honest, during your time of spying, you were afraid of Dazai. While you had always hid in the shadows gathering intel on executives, you were quite sure he was always able to sense your presence. After all, he was... rather intelligent, and from your observations, he could quite literally see through anything and everything. There were many close times where you had almost been caught, but you had escaped by just a hair.

“You were the spy that was following me, correct?”

Your didn’t respond, but he knew the answer anyways. Dazai walks towards you, his foot steps echo around the dark alleyway. Your head is running through scenarios, each worse than the previous. You thought about the torture methods, and how violent they’d be. You had seen cases where people were burnt, or skinned, or where their bones were broken one, by one.

People who had the ability to do that to other human beings, were inviduals who had lost their humanity. Entirely. Getting information out of people like that never worked, and it was not worth the gore, noise, and humanity to do so.

“Since you’re quite the skilled spy, I’ll leave you to live. I recognize talent when I see it. However, you are also with the military, and have been sending information about us to them for years. I’ve noticed this from the missing data in our databases. It’s been obvious someone has been hacking into them for periods at a time. Well, that’s also because I was sent to deal with this, even though it is a side mission now. It’s been a year since that data breach happened. I assume you’re quite the skilled hacker, as well as combatant. You also have abilities too.”

“However...”

Your throat tightens.

“Although the information you gathered is not highly classified information to us, you’re still an enemy of the port mafia.”

Dazai points his gun to your head. He was quick enough you didn’t have time to evade. Instead you resorted to trying to pry the other arm around your neck off.

“It’s no use. Struggle all you want,” Dazai continued, “You can either die here. Or you can join our ranks, and become our spy instead. You would be put to much more use in the mafia, instead of the government.”

“Like hell I woul-”

Dazai fires a shot at the wall that misses you by an inch. “You use your mouth to talk only when you’ve made a decision.”

You’re instantly slienced.

You weighed your outcome. Murder changes people; always for the worst. The man standing in front of you has experienced murder on multiple occasions. The port mafia murders people on a daily basis. You could never get used to killing anyone; you could barely shoot a gun without hesitation. That’s why you’re assigned the role of a spy, rather than being on the front lines.

Killing someone wasn’t so different from dying... yourself. But as morals are often discarded in the desperation to survive, your brain told you to betray the government.

“Have you made a decision? I don’t have all day to wait.”

You opened your mouth slightly, but then closed it. You took a deep breath. From this point on, your life would change forever.

“I’ll... join your ranks.”

Dazai lets you go, as you fall to the ground, gasping for air. He smirks; it unsettles you. “Loyal, aren’t you?”

You glare at him.

“Meet me back here tommorow, at evening. If you dare come late, I’ll personally beat you to death.”

#yandere dazai #yandere bsd #yandere dazai osamu #yandere bsd x reader #yandere x reader #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai osamu x reader #yandere imagines #yandere x you #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #dazai bsd #dazai osamu bsd #dazai osamu #dazai #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader

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ash5monster01 · 10 months

Note

Ashley my love. I recently reread your masterlist, YOU ARE FANTASTIC. Just needed to shout that out =) I've got an idea for a story. Don't know if you like it but I give it a try, especially after discovering that Miles Teller is on your character List????? Omg yeah. Here it comes:

Miles and reader are best friends since for ever and always more than happy to film together. Her excitement is marred by a new regisseur who gives her instantly a bad feeling (guy is flirting with her, gives her creepy looks and stares whenever he gets the chance). The whole situation is getting worse when gets touchy and handsy and when he corners her when she's alone. The creep harasses her and even threatenes her that when she's not dating him or be more friendly to him he will end her career. Miles notices that there's a change in the behavior of his normally bubbly sunshine best friend. Got more details in my mind, but that doesn't mean that you have to use them in any way!!!!!! I imagine that Miles and her always sharing an apartment when they're together, so he notices her sleeping not well, hearing her having nightmares. But she always brushes him off. One day he finds her having a panic attack behind her trailer (the creep just touched her rough and claim her dating him)....yeah well I need some good angst, drama, some hurt and an protective Miles, a fluffy end mayhabs?!

Love ya girl, it would ne fantastic if you let me know if you like my idea

Not Yourself

Pairing: Miles Teller x FemReader

Warnings: 18+ due to heavier themes, mentions of SA, abuse, depression, language, control issues, gaslighting, fluff

Summary: Being best friends for a long time can be like wearing rose colored glasses, ignoring the fact that feelings can change, touches can become more, and love can evolve into an entirely different thing. Some people ignore these signs for their entire lives but when Miles notices you’re not the same bubbly girl anymore he discovers a sad truth and in the midst of it all he can’t deny how he feels about you any longer.

a/n: I've had this request for ages and I am so sorry, I am busy literally all of the time and try to keep up with my own series and requests all the time. plz enjoy now that it is finally here xx

word count: 3,038

Masterlist

It’s been three weeks. Three weeks since you stopped smiling as much, since you stopped looking him in the eye, since you stopped laughing at his jokes, since you stopped spending time with him, since you had a full night of sleep. He had heard you, crying, having nightmares, your sobs barely muffled by the door. He wished he could figure out when it all changed. Everything was fine. You both landed another project together, found a perfect apartment to use while filming, you had been so happy. It was the two of you against the world like always. Yet now it’s as if the sun didn’t shine and because of your broken smile the world couldn’t really thrive.

Being an actor in this industry was hard, you had heard the horror stories, yet you still took it on knowing you had your bestfriend by your side. From highschool plays until now you were continuing to face the craziness of this job head on. Luckily enough with him by your side, landing new projects together left and right. You figure you had gotten too comfortable, too blind with happiness to see the warning signs, too scared to say no when one of the producers had asked you on a date. You figured one date couldn't hurt, that you could just go and keep your job, make up an excuse to get out of a second date, but it was too late. You had let him in and now he held the power. He held more weight in the bustling world of show business and now his threats of debunking your career were enough to scare you silly.

It was supposed to be the fun part of the date, the walking you to the doorstep, pink cheeks hidden by the dark of the night and revealed in the glow of street lamps, a shy kiss shared under the porchlight. Instead it was a tight grip around your wrist, back pressed into the hard brick of the home, wide eyes, as he threatens to end your career if you don't date him. Then you finally realize all that flirting and staring he had done on set was more creepy and forceful than anything. Blood pulsing through your veins you agreed, a harsh and unwanted kiss forced upon your lips. You waited till he got in his car and left before breaking down in tears on the front steps. You had promised yourself you wouldn't be one of those Hollywood horror stories and yet here you were, blindsided, and completely alone. You couldn’t even tell Miles, the keeper to every secret and embarassing story in your life. Once you realized this you waited until the living room lights turned off before entering the home and hiding in your room so he couldn't see the heartbroken look on your face.

Now it had been three weeks of this torture. Unwarranted touching and kissing all over set and it was as if nobody noticed or they ignored it for their own benefit. That broke you more than anything. The only person to inquire about your change in demeanor your best friend Miles, but you denied him every time. Assuring him everything was okay even though it definitely wasn't. Your only safe place was your room at night, but the abuse had followed you into your dreams, nightmares startling you awake until you were too scared to fall sleep, tears taking place of sleep. So you learned to live with the pain, but the thing about holding everything in means it dulls the parts of you that shine brighter. It’s harder to smile when something so heavy sits on the weight of your shoulders. You just prayed nobody would really notice.

Opening your trailer door you were prepared to make it to set, thankful you were a good enough actor that your emotions hadn't tainted your performance. Least expected as always, the strong grip curled around your wrist, and practically tugged you off the trailer steps before pulling you around and out of sight of anyone passing by. Your heart instantly quickened and suddenly you were slammed against the cool metal of the trailer before his large hand wrapped around your ass. You let out a shaky breath due to the close proximity and he snarled in your face. Barring his teeth like a wild animal and you were instantly fear stricken, frozen in place, and prepared for more trauma to add to your plate. Another nightmare brewing just at the edge of your fingertips, not even your work place safe from the abuse.

"You look good today, just for me?" his hand squeezed tighter, heavy breaths landed on your face. Your stomach churned with disgust over his weird attraction towards you. "Bet you sat in that makeup chair, begging them to make you look good so I could have something to see"

His other hand finally let go of your wrist, wrapping around your neck, the coolness of his rings practically stinging you by the touch. You shuddered as his face closed in, warm mouth landing on your neck as he left wet kisses, devouring you like a meal in the worst way. You prayed it would be enough, that he would leave, but then his hand was gripping your chin, mouth landing againt your own, and tongue shoving inside your mouth despite how hard you tried to keep your lips closed. Tears burned at the back of your eyes but you knew not to let them fall, to not give him the satisfaction. After what felt like hours he finally let go, backing off with a sly smile on his face. Hiding your shuddering body he pointed in your direction.

"Keep that pretty little mouth shut" he sneered and then he was gone, leaving you behind the trailer in a broken heap, heart racing, and life ruined. Once you could no longer hear his footsteps you were on your knees, tears free falling as sobs raked your body. You couldn’t control it as the panic rushed through, anxiety closing your airways, as you tried to wrap your mind around what had just happened. Unexpected and harmful all the same. You were late for your scene, but as the panic attack set in you had no part of you that could care.

As for Miles he knew you'd never be late to a scene, you didn't want to be one of those dramatic Hollywood stars that let the fame get to your head. So when it had been ten minutes and you still weren't there the panic set in. He told the director he was off to find you and before he could protest Miles was out the door and running to your trailer. Without knocking he forced himself inside but you were not there, sighing he walked back out and that’s when he heard a cry. Just not any cry though, the same ones he had heard from your bedroom every night. Bending down he looked under the trailer to see you were behind it, a heap in the gravel as you cried your eyes out.

"Y/N!" he was around the trailer in a flash, dropping beside you as he cradled you in his arms. You cried against him, barely aware he was even there. He found tears seeping out of his own eyes as he tried to determine what was wrong with his best friend, his oldest friend, the girl he loved more than anything in the world.

"Miles" you finally cried, gripping onto him like he could disappear any second, and he found himself lifting his head, trying to calm his heart and he let it settle in that something was really really wrong.

"Y/N I want to help you but I need you to tell me what’s wrong" he finally said, pulling you close and rubbing a hand through your hair.

"I will, I promise, just not here. Please not hear, when we're home" you begged and he heard the desperation in your voice, the fear that strangled you from telling him the truth he needed three weeks ago.

"Okay, at home. You can tell me then, just please calm down" he cried and you nodded againt his chest, counting your breaths like you had practiced. He held you through it, silent as he allowed you support while you did what you needed to do. Finally you gave him a nod and he helped you to your feet. He wished you would tell the directors you were sick, that you’d do the scene tomorrow but he knew youd be mad that he suggested it so he walked you that direction anyway, wiping tears from his eyes and painting a fake smile on his face and he realized that's exactly what you had been doing the last three weeks.

After that you both had been jittery getting through the day. Finally the director called it and awkwardness enveloped you as you collected your things and headed towards Miles Bronco together. He did his best to keep silent as he drove you through the busy LA streets, driving towards the safe haven you both shared. Miles did his best to keep his mouth shut as he locked his car and unlocked the apartment door. You were very clealry distraught and he watched as you dumped your things on the kitchen counter, the weight of the world crushing you into the ground. So he moved towards the couch, very obviously leaving the seat open beside him for you to take and start explaining yourself. You knew not to fight it, you had made a promise, and you never broke a promise with Miles.

"I'm not taking anymore bullshit Y/N, I want the truth and all of it right now" he finally broke the silence as you took your seat beside him. Hugging a pillow to your chest, tears lined your eyes as you finally told him everything from the beginning. Miles did his best to not get angry and interrupt as you told your truth, the weight of the news much heavier than he expected.

"For three weeks, that's almost a whole month Y/N" guilt bloomed through your body and he pressed his head in his hands, trying to not let the anger consume him. Yet as he thought of how angry he was he was able to recognize the jealous pull. That some bastard got to kiss you without permission when he's been wanting to kiss you the way a real man should since college. He had never realized that he had hid that from himself all these years, denied himself of recognizing his attraction towards you. Stopped himself from loving you, and maybe if he didn't do that this would've never happened.

"I was scared he would hurt me, we were always alone" you told him, wanting him to know that you wanted him to know but sometimes fear controlled you in ways you couldn't explain.

"I was right inside that first night, I could've come out and stopped him" Miles argued and that’s when it hit him. The front porch, the doorbell, his phone. His eyes widened and you watched as his thoughts danced across his face.

"What is it?" you asked and without answering he rushed to his room, plugging in his phone as he opened the app that could hold the key to everything.

"Don't worry Y/N, I got a plan" sighing you let him hide out, making yourself some dinner. and trying to go to sleep despite knowing a nightmare would awake you soon. Yet when you woke up Miles was snoring softly beside you in your bed. A wave of calm rushed over you and you scooted closer before falling alseep again, the first real rest you had gotten in a long time.

When you woke up to your alarm he was no longer there, his car not even in the driveway. You figured he had early scenes and you had forgot. So you got ready, tried to slow your heart as you made your way to set, trying to prepare yourself for another day of torture. Yet before you could be called to set a knock sounded at your door, a worker telling you that you were needed in the table read room, a meeting with the show runners. Realizing that you were more than likely going to be fired you allowed a few tears to fall as you made your way in that direction. Your situation did not look good as you spotted the director, all the producers including your own abuser, and Miles all sat around the table.

"We're glad you could join us Y/N, have a seat" the director told you and you nodded, scurrying to the open seat beside Bradley.

"Usually we don't call meetings until production time John, what is it" one of the producers asked the director and John gave you a soft smile.

"Miles came forward to me today with some information I think we can't ignore" he finally said and your heart doubled in speed as you realized what he had done, started a battle you would never win without any evidence. "Mr. Conway here has been harrassing Y/N for the last three weeks, threatening to debunk her career if she told anyone"

"Oh this is bullshit and you know it" Conway said, but everyone clear as day could see the fear across his face.

"Miles has also provided evidence" John said before clicking the screen, ring doorbell footage of the first night appearing on screen. Miles hand wrapped around your own, knowing this would be tough to watch. It was hard for him to watch himself, crying the moment he realized you sat outside in tears waiting for him to go to bed.

The group watched as you and Conway approached the door holding hands, they all watched as his smile turned into a growl as he shoved you against the wall, fear clear as day on your face and he got so close you were breathing each others air. "If you don't agree to dating me I will proceed to make your life a living hell, you'll never be hired ever again, people will think of how trrible you are, your fans will hate you, after tonight your mine and if you tell absolutely anybody it’s game over, you'll never amount to anything ever again"

Then they all watched as you frantically nodded and he forced himself on you, you clearly trying to push him away. Then they watched him harshly release you, walk to his car, as you clearly sobbed on the front porch. John ending the video before they could see anymore, you clearly distraught from reliving that moment.

"We're going to allow Y/N to decide if she wants to press charges and I am fully prepared to pause production if you aren't willing to immediately terminate him" John informed them and you felt your heart warm over at the thought of him protecting you.

"We understand completely, Conway you’re fired. Have your things packed by the end of the day and be expecting a court order coming your way" relief washed over you completely as Conway sat there, shock all over him. Miles pulled you into a hug, Conway leaving the room with profanities falling from his mouth.

"We're sorry for this Y/N, if you need anything at all we're here for you. We will also testify in court if you choose to go in that direction" you nodded as they also got up and left the room. John placed a comforting hand on your back before leaving as well, a true hero in this situation.

"I can't believe you came forward for me" you told Miles, still hugging him like your life depended on it.

"I had too, your my bestfriend. I love you, I have always loved you" Miles told you, pushing some hair out of your face. Losing you was never an option.

"What if your plan didn't work?" you asked and he shrugged.

"Then I was quitting the movie" he told you earnestly and you smiled, pulling him tighter into your hug.

"I love you Miles" you told him and he smiled before pulling back a little.

"I know this probably isn't the right time but after all this I figure you deserve to know that I'm in love with you Y/N. I love you in that more than best friend way and after this whole disaster you deserve to know that beause you deserve to be loved the right way" for a moment you were shocked, allowing his words to sink in because there was a moment you considered you and Miles. You just figured he'd never feel the same so you brushed it off, ignoring it for the sake of your friendship.

“Are you sure?” Miles hoped that this doubt wasn’t a symptom of the last few weeks of abuse.

“Positive Y/N, it took a lot of self control to not kill that asshole” you found yourself giggling through tears, a wide smile on your face for the first time in a month.

“I love you in a more than a best friend way too Miles” you grinned at him and he smiled arms pulling you close again.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, wanting to make sure it was okay since that asshole never did.

“Yes, please” and he didn’t need any more confirmation before his lips were on yours. Instead of holding your breath like you had been for the last three weeks you inhaled him, breathing his air like he just filled you with life after the past month of torture.

A kiss to redeem every bad one, a kiss to start the healing process, and start finding yourself again. Which you had a feeling would be better than ever considering you had finally allowed yourself to love Miles in a way you always wished you could. This time you didn’t have to look out for the warning signs because you had Miles to protect you, and look for them too.

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hollandorks · 1 year

Text

saved

matt murdock x original female character

chapter eighteen

Summary: Fleeing from an abusive relationship, Grace St. James goes to the only place she still has a friend: Hell’s Kitchen. She’s forced to live in her car and beg for a job from the law firm Nelson, Murdock, and Page all the while making sure her past doesn’t catch up to her. Enter Matt Murdock: cocky, handsome, and willing to let her live with him for free until she can afford to get a place of her own. Grace is drawn to Matt in a way she’s never been drawn to anyone, causing sparks to fly as they inevitably grow closer and closer.

a/n: phew, made it through being sick and the holidays and now I have time to post again! This chapter is...a lot. Literally. It’s over 10k words. I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not! There wasn’t a good place to break it up, and I don’t think anyone would want a cliffhanger where I’d debated ending the chapter, so here you go! A nice, huge chapter!

***This chapter is NSFW. 18+! ***

Series Masterlist

word count: 10,409

She’d been stupid, naive, prone to giving in to his apologies.

She wasn’t that girl anymore.

She took a deep, steadying breath, and finally started working on the paperwork piling up on her desk.

Matt’s POV

The day was over before Matt knew it. He’d been buoyed all day long, his three favorite people in the world surrounding him with laughter and light for the entire day. He hadn’t laughed so hard or so much in…well, a long time.

They managed to all leave at the same time for once, Foggy wordlessly clapping him on the back as they left. Matt knew what his best friend meant with the motion–he was happy for Matt, for Grace.

Karen’s phone chimed as she locked the office door behind them. “Ellison has something.”

“Send it to me,” Matt said immediately.

“Yes sir,” Karen said sarcastically, but her fingers tapped the phone screen anyways.

Matt inserted an earbud to listen to the text Karen had copied and sent to him, frowning as he walked. He was aware of Grace standing next to him, her warmth a steady comfort as she talked to the others.

At the intersection where they usually parted ways, Foggy hesitated for a second after saying goodbye. “Feel free to um…come in late tomorrow,” before he hastily walked away.

Matt could feel Grace’s heart beating more quickly. Her skin temperature rose as she blushed. He loved when she blushed and he unconsciously leaned into the extra warmth.

“Well, if Foggy’s alright with it,” she joked as they crossed the street.

Matt didn’t respond. He was lost in thought. He was already planning on going out as soon as he got back to the apartment. He needed to move quickly if what Ellison had discovered was true.

“Hey, want to stop to eat first?” Grace asked.

“You can pick up something. I’ll meet you at home. I have something to do real quick.” He needed to get home and get to the warehouse now owned by the same security company the men supposedly worked for.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

He turned to face her, expression softening into a smile. “Yeah, just thinking about this case. I’ll see you at home.” The lie rolled off of his tongue easily. He hadn’t meant to lie, it simply…happened. He didn’t want her to worry, and he knew he could be there and back before she even went to bed for the night.

Matt went inside the apartment with guilt weighing him down. He would tell Grace the truth when he got back, he decided. It was too late now. He wanted things to work with her, though, so he needed to be open. She’d already blown him away with her easy acceptance of his secret. Why would this be any different?

The guilt worsened as he changed out of his work clothes.

He shouldn’t have lied. He cursed at himself as he pulled on his armor. He really shouldn’t have lied. He’d worked for the past several years to reach a place of trust and honesty with Foggy and Karen, and he’d sabotaged that work with Grace the first chance he’d gotten.

He paused as he started pulling on his boots and mentally berated himself.

He missed the sound of the door unlocking and opening behind him and froze as someone entered the apartment.

Grace’s scent and familiar heartbeat reached him a split second later and he relaxed a bit.

“Oh,” she said, her heart stuttering in her chest. “I…got you food.”

Matt tilted his head, several expressions flickering across his face before he settled on a carefully neutral one. “Thanks. I…have something to take care of.” The guilt worsened, heavy like lead in his veins.

“Oh,” she said again. “What is it?”

“I’m–I–” he stammered. He’d planned on telling her the truth when he got back, but here she was, catching him in the lie. It was somehow so much worse than he’d thought it would be. He braced himself for the blow, for her anger, for her disappointment.

She sighed. “You’re getting pretty familiar with this hook I keep letting you off of,” she told him. “At least eat real quick before you go do…whatever. Ninja flips.”

Matt cracked a small smile. “I’m sorry, I know I said–”

“It’s fine,” she said before he could dig himself even farther into the hole he was making. “Really.”

“You’re lying,” he said softly. He didn’t need to hear her heartbeat to be able to tell. The tone of her voice was enough. Though her heart was evidence enough, too. “It’s not fine. You’re disappointed. I knew this–”

“Matt, of course I’m disappointed. But it’s really okay. I don’t expect you to drop everything for me.” She held out the paper bag with his food. He could smell the grease and breading from one of his favorite fish and chip places. “Besides, you could have just told me you were going out. You didn’t need to lie.”

He muttered something curses darkly to himself as he took the food. He’d brought this on himself. He always did.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have to hear what you said to know it was more–”

“Self-flagellating bullshit.” He sighed. “I just–this always gets in the way of my relationships. Every time. And I’m sorry it does, but this is important, and–”

“Matt, I’m disappointed we don’t get to have sex immediately after we eat, not that you’re going out as Daredevil.”

His head snapped up. “What?” He stopped breathing for a second as he parsed her words.

Grace smothered a laugh. “Was I lying? No. Because it’s okay. I know what you do is important, and I won’t stop you or try to make you feel bad about yourself.” He heard a rustle as she shrugged and a crunch as she popped one of the fries in her mouth. “I may have been with an asshole for a really long time, but even I know you can’t just expect a partner to drop everything they do and tailor their schedules to you and your relationship.”

Matt was still frozen in the same position. She…didn’t care that he was going out as Daredevil. And she wasn’t lying about it. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. After a moment, he laughed, a low sound that she felt more than heard. “You are–constantly surprising me.”

“Refreshing, isn’t it? I already told you all of this. Looks like it only took–” She paused. “–roughly eight hours for you to forget it.”

Matt strode forward and kissed her lightly. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m–I’m trying. I swear. And to show you that I’m trying, I’m going to tell you that I’m going after those assholes who came here last night, to try to get some information out of them.”

“They were released?” she asked. He heard a note of fear in her voice. A trace of moisture in the air as her palms began to sweat. Her heart raced.

Matt’s hands traced her jaw, her neck. “I’m not going to be gone long,” he said. “I promise.” He inhaled her scent even as though it was tainted with fear. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” He’d never meant a promise more in his life. He would protect her, no matter what. And what he was about to go do was the first step in that.

She took a deep breath and her heart calmed almost immediately as she breathed. “Sorry, I just–” She shrugged again. Even the sweat on her palms dissipated.

“You’re…weirdly good at that.” Matt listened intently as her body calmed further. He’d noticed her calming herself quickly before.

“I’ve lived with fear for a long time,” she said softly. Anger stirred at her words. Fear of that man that she’d been with. “Now, here. The man behind the counter gave me a funny look when I asked what your order was. He thinks I’m stalking you, probably.”

Matt didn’t comment on what she’d said. All he did was take the bag from her and say, “I won’t be long. I swear. And I’ll try to keep an ear out for anything happening, okay?” He would be on high alert for anything and would do a loop around the neighborhood first, just to make sure nothing suspicious was happening.

“Be careful, please,” she said. Her next words almost knocked him off of his feet. “I still plan to pay you back, you know.”

Matt groaned because he knew exactly what she meant by that. “Stop trying to get me to stay home.”

“I’m trying to get you to come back,” she said.

Matt was quiet for a moment. “I will,” he said earnestly. “Don’t worry about me.”

She kissed him again, and then he was gone, out of the roof door without looking back, slipping the devil’s guise over his face as he went.

–

Despite Grace’s words, guilt plagued Matt as he moved across the city. His gut reaction had been to lie to her about what he was thinking about, about what he was doing, and she’d caught him anyway. He didn’t know how to do this, how to be with someone who knew his secret and accepted it. He still wasn’t entirely convinced that she did accept it.

Matt was convinced that, even though things were starting off well, Grace would eventually come to resent him, to resent his time as Daredevil.

Because he had learned one thing in his years being a vigilante–he didn’t want to stop. He couldn’t. It was as much a part of him as his DNA was. He had come to terms with that fact and it had taken a lot of work to find peace with it.

But God, did he want to do right by Grace. Not just because she’d been with an abusive asshole for years, but because she deserved someone to treat her well. Matt knew he wasn’t up to the job and yet she still wanted to try with him.

The hope that Matt felt overshadowed every other emotion.

Matt’s mind might be a thousand miles away–or, more accurately, about a mile back in his apartment–but his focus was still on those men.

Anger quickly rose on a wave and washed away his thoughts about Grace. Those men had broken into his home to take her. To take her back to her asshole of an ex, the man who had beaten her, the man she was terrified of.

Ellison’s work had been quick and thorough. He’d tracked the security company the men had claimed to be a part of, and had somehow even used his many connections to find out where the men went after being released.

When Matt had gotten the information from Karen, he hadn’t been surprised.

The security company had recently bought the warehouse that Grace had told him about.

No doubt the security company was a shell that Dean Bennett owned.

Matt would dig into all of that later. Getting a paper trail to connect nefarious things to Dean Bennett was a problem for another day.

Right now, he had a score to settle with the men who had broken into his home.

The warehouse was mostly empty. From what he could tell from his perch on the roof closest to the building, they were setting things up to make it look like an actual security company was running it. No wonder it had been empty when he’d first investigated–Dean Bennett was using a legitimate business to cover up his crimes. Or something that was going to look as close to a legitimate business as it could get.

He heard at least six people inside, one of them moaning loudly about being forced to work late. Four of them were the men who’d just been released.

Matt’s blood heated. A calmness washed through him as he straightened from his perch.

He was going to get some answers.

It was easy enough to find the breaker box for the first floor of the warehouse. It wasn’t quite sunset yet so he needed all the darkness he could get. He’d been in a rush to get to the men before they disappeared.

He could hear cursing from most of the men as the warehouse was doused in shadows.

The first man went down quickly and quietly. Matt stashed him in the office, which was now actually being used as an office.

The second man came to investigate. Matt couldn’t believe his luck–out of six men, the first two he took out weren’t from the group who’d broken into his apartment. He pulled the second man’s unconscious body into the office too, divested them of their guns and phones, and stepped back out into the shadows.

He focused on the echos in the building to locate the other four. Two were talking amongst themselves, completely unconcerned. A third was headed his way.

He almost missed the fourth, who had snuck up behind him while he’d been taking care of the first two.

The first gunshot was so close it rang in Matt’s ears. He’d moved right before it had gone off, the whisper of air moving around the barrel alerting him to the man’s presence just in time. His aim was true and his fist connected with the man’s wrist. The gun clattered to the ground.

Matt struck again, quickly, knocking him out as another gunshot rang out from behind him. He ducked and rolled out of the way.

The three remaining men surrounded him.

Anger rose in him again, blinding him momentarily. These men had broken into his home and had been trying to take Grace back to the man who had hurt her for years.

Matt shouted as one of the men got a good hit to his ribs as he whirled and kicked at another. Four down, two to go. He received another blow, to his mouth this time, and he spat blood without losing momentum. He was too angry to feel the pain and simply used it to fuel his anger.

There was only one man left standing, his arm hanging at his side, shoulder dislocated.

“What do you want with Grace St. James?” Matt demanded. He could have gone about it more carefully, but he didn’t want to. It didn’t matter–he wanted word to get out that the devil of Hell’s Kitchen was protecting Grace. Then maybe that asshole Dean Bennett would think twice before trying anything else.

“Who?” the man asked, clearly confused. He wasn’t lying either, wasn’t faking.

Matt paused, fists still raised. “The girl you were sent to kidnap. What did you want with her?”

When the man didn’t answer, Matt hit him. Then he kicked his knees out from under him and grabbed him by the shirt. He leaned in close, letting the guise of the devil stare the man in the eyes. He could scent the man’s fear as clearly as if it were his blood, pouring from his body in waves.

“What were you going to do with the girl?” Matt shook the man.

“I–I don’t know, I swear! We just received an address and a payment. We were supposed to bring her back here and wait for the man to come back! That’s all! He gave us a cover story and bailed us out, I don’t know anything else I swear.”

“Who hired you, then?”

The man coughed and Matt scented blood. A few of the man’s teeth were loose from the blows Matt had delivered.

“I don’t know his name, the payment came from a shell company. He gave us a burner number, that’s all! We don’t care where the money comes from, we just–”

Matt’s fist cut off any more words. He dug through the unconscious man’s pockets and took the cell phone.

Now he had to figure out how to connect it all to Dean Bennett.

Matt went home with disappointment lodged in his chest. He’d hoped for more tangible answers to take back to Grace.

His blood warmed at the thought of Grace waiting for him back at the apartment, at not having to hide. As he leapt over rooftop after rooftop, Matt allowed himself a small smile.

Grace’s POV

True to his word, Matt wasn’t gone long. He was back within two hours. Grace was sitting on the couch, a book in hand that she wasn’t reading, when the rooftop door clicked open.

As soon as she heard it she jumped up. Matt was…limping as he came down the stairs.

“Are you okay?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. He waved a hand at her as he made his slow way down the stairs.

“Fine,” he said gruffly. “Just took a couple of hits.”

“How the fuck did you ever sneak around like this with me living here?” she asked as he toed off his boots at the bottom of the stairs and then let his helmet thunk to the ground. She tried not to ogle him in the Daredevil armor as he moved about the apartment. But God, it was hot.

“I waited until you were asleep,” he said, as if it should be obvious. “And when you caught me a couple of times, I lied. Sleepwalking, insomnia…”

Grace made a face. “Oh. Right. I forgot about that. I was so worried you’d sleepwalk right off the roof, too.”

He grinned at her. “You’re a pretty heavy sleeper, you know,” he said as he fumbled at the back of his neck for something. There was a slight noise, and then he was tugging a zipper down, revealing the muscled expanse of his back.

Grace couldn’t help the little breath that escaped. “Please tell me you’re not wearing underwear under that thing.” Her blood heated even further. She’d had a bit of a crush on Daredevil ever since her first encounter with him, and knowing he was Matt, and knowing what Matt could do with his mouth and his hands…

Matt coughed and laughed. “Sorry to disappoint. It chafes pretty bad without it.”

He turned to face her and she gasped for a different reason. One side of his ribs was bruised. She noticed, too, that the corners of his mouth were bloody.

“Jesus,” she said. “You said you were fine!” Matt tried to brush past her to the kitchen but she caught his arm. He sighed but stopped. She grabbed his jaw and tilted his head to the light, making sure he didn’t have any hidden head wounds or anything. Then she stooped to look more closely at his ribs. “So does ‘fine’ mean you actually got the shit beat out of you? Your ribs might be broken or something, Matt.”

“You should ask Foggy about what I looked like when he found out I was Daredevil,” Matt said in a dry voice. “This is nothing. I would call it a typical night, but it’s actually a lot better than that.” He tilted his head slightly and pressed his hand lightly against his ribs. “Nah, they’re not broken. Just bruised.”

“How can you know for sure?” she asked. “Pain levels?”

“No, I–someone once told me I have x-ray fingers.”

Grace snorted. “Really?”

Matt grabbed her left hand and brushed his thumb across her skin. “I can tell this wrist was broken. It didn’t heal quite right, either. The bones shift against each other more than the ones in your right hand.”

Grace yanked her hand away as if shocked. “A parting gift from my ex.” All of the heat had left her blood at the reminder.

Matt gently took her left hand again and placed a soft kiss right where the fucked up bones were. Her pulse stuttered. He was half-in his Daredevil outfit and treating her as if she was made of glass, something delicate to be taken care of. The contradiction between the two things did something strange to her that she didn’t dislike.

“We’re going to take him down,” Matt said in a quiet voice.

Grace had to glance away from his intense expression. “I’m not so sure it can be done.”

“Don’t say that.”

Grace scoffed. “Matt, the stuff he’s been getting away with, for years…He’s powerful. He has connections. He’s basically untouchable. I mean, those guys already got released–”

“Grace, did you ever hear about a man named Wilson Fisk?” Matt interrupted. His fingers were drawing distracting but soothing circles on her hand.

“Of course. You guys had him locked up, he got out, caused chaos, and then put him away again.” She shrugged. “The FBI was even involved or something. Everyone heard about it.”

“Trust me, I doubt this guy is as powerful as Fisk ever was. And we got rid of him. For good. He’s locked up so tightly he doesn’t see another living person except when they drop off his meals through a flap in the door.” Matt raised his eyebrows. “Do you understand what I’m telling you? It might not be easy, but it can be done.”

She sighed and rubbed her free hand over her eyes. “Okay, okay.”

“And if I can’t get to him as Matt Murdock, then Daredevil might have to make a special trip outside of Hell’s Kitchen.”

“Okay. I’m still not convinced we shouldn’t just send a hitman after him, but…Okay.” She squeezed his shoulder and stepped around him to get an icepack from the freezer. She gently held it to his bruised ribs. Matt’s large hand covered hers. She cocked her head as her words brought back a memory. “Who is Mank Trastle?”

Matt gave a loud, surprised laugh. “Well, do you remember the Punisher?”

Grace’s mind was blank for a long moment. Then it clicked. “Oh. Frank Castle? Wait–Karen’s friends with him? Wait–isn’t he dead?”

“Yes, Frank Castle. And I don’t know if I’d call it a friendship, but they’ve helped each other out. And no…he’s not dead.” Matt’s hand tightened as he gently extricated himself from her and went towards the bedroom. “God, there’s so much you don’t know–”

“Well, I mean…I at least know the basics right?” She trailed after him as he kicked the suit off the rest of the way. She watched his muscles with fascination but her eyes kept snagging on the rapidly darkening bruise on his side. God, he looked good in nothing but his underwear. But she really needed to stop focusing on that. “You’re Daredevil, and a lawyer, and you put Fisk away, and Frank Castle isn’t dead.”

“I also fought ancient ninjas and had a skyscraper dropped on top of me, pretended that I didn’t make it out alive, and tried to kill Fisk before my better nature won out.” Matt’s voice was bitter as he yanked open a drawer and pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

Grace’s eyes snapped from her inspection of his ass to his face. “You–what–a skyscraper?”

Matt sighed tiredly and sat on the edge of the bed. One of his hands dragged across his face. His knuckles were bruised. She was pretty sure it was from the night before. “I…want to preface this by saying I'm not trying to go through the self-flagellation thing. But I always struggled with this…darkness in me. And there was a time that I wanted to give up. To give in and let Matt Murdock disappear. I finally got to a place where I accepted that I want to be both, that I have to be, but that darkness still…it still consumes me sometimes. And I want to be up front about that with you. So you know what you’re getting into.”

Grace sat next to him, their shoulders touching. “Do you know what I was thinking today as I was going through all of those photos, looking for evidence to back up the absolute worst years of my life?”

“What’s that?”

“That that life…it was nothing but shadows with brief flashes of light. And no matter how hard I try to forget it, it’s impossible. That time of darkness is…is a part of me. A part I might always struggle with. There’ll still be times where a certain scent makes me panic, or when a man raises his hand in a particular way that makes me think he’s going to hit me, or times when I wake up thinking I’m back inside those shadows.” She reached out for Matt’s hand. “I’m not saying I know what it’s like to be you, or deal with the kind of darkness you deal with…but I get it, to an extent. My eyes are wide open, Matt.”

He blew out a breath and squeezed her fingers. “I don’t understand,” he finally said, slowly, as if he was choosing his words very carefully, “how I found someone like you.”

“I believe I came into your office and begged for a job.” She bumped his shoulder with her own.

“I mean it,” he said in a low voice. “I already told you, Daredevil has always complicated my relationships in one way or another. I don’t want that with you, but every time I bring it up, you shrug it off.”

“I’m not shrugging it off,” she said. “I accept it. Respect it, even. I kind of even had a crush on Daredevil.” Her face flushed even though she wasn’t exactly embarrassed of the fact.

“That’s not what I meant.” He made a frustrated noise. “I–When Foggy found out, it almost killed him. And me. Our friendship was obliterated, and it took years to get to a good place. Sometimes I can hear in his voice that he still doesn’t understand, that he still doesn’t necessarily like it. And then when I tell you, you immediately just–don’t care. Not that you don’t care, but it’s like it wasn’t a huge deal. And that’s–a lot for me.”

“I always thought Daredevil was kind of hot,” Grace mused. She hated the idea that his longest, most meaningful friendship had barely survived the truth of him being Daredevil. But she took comfort knowing they were in a good spot now, at least. So she joked to lighten the burden for him, if only a little. “This is like a dream come true for me.”

Matt laughed and shook his head. “Joke all you want–it’s a big deal for me, and I just–I–appreciate it. I don’t want to mess this up.”

“So you keep saying. Don’t worry, I’ll let you know if you mess up, just like I hope you let me know if I mess up. That’s what a relationship should be.”

“Is that what this is?” Matt asked, a different note of emotion entering his voice. He turned his head as if to look her in the eyes. “A relationship?”

Grace’s heart fluttered. “I’d like it to be.”

“I would too.”

She reached up and cupped his jaw to tilt his face towards her. She kissed him carefully, aware of the blood she’d seen on his lips earlier. He made a small noise of protest when she pulled away. “As much as I’d really, really like to continue this, your ribs are busted and I don’t want to make it worse.”

Matt sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t stay earlier.”

“It’s alright, Matt, I promise. We should probably go on a proper date first anyways.” She smiled at him and couldn’t help but press another kiss to his lips.

His thumb traced the line of her jaw. She shivered at the touch. “Mm. You’re right. I’m usually much more of a gentleman than this.”

“Trust me, I’m very okay with you not being a gentleman.” The night after Josie’s flashed through her mind, Matt on his knees painted in red light.

“Is that right?” Matt’s smile turned cocky. She made herself look at the bruise on his side to remind herself why she couldn’t jump him right then and there. Because she really, really wanted to. She even debated, briefly, asking him to put the Daredevil suit back on, then shook the thought away.

“It is. But your ribs are busted, and we didn’t get much sleep last night. And I–want to do this right as much as you do.” She really did–she wanted it all with him. The dates, the getting to know each other, the late nights spent talking about nothing. All that, and more.

He kissed the top of her head. “My ribs aren’t busted. Just bruised.”

She rolled her eyes. “Same difference. One wrong move and they’re broken, and the mood is killed. And I really don’t want to have to be careful.” She shoved the thoughts of what it would be like to lose control with him away from her mind.

Matt chuckled. “I guess you have a point. In that case, I’m going to take a shower.”

Grace couldn’t help the images that flashed through her mind, unconsciously clenching her thighs together. Down girl, she told herself. She was trying not to sleep with him, damn it, but her mind was doing its best to rile her up anyways.

Matt paused, his hand gripping the bathroom door frame so tightly it creaked. His nostrils flared, and she realized that he knew exactly what just went through her mind because of his enhanced senses.

She flopped back on the bed with a groan. “Sorry,” she said, voice muffled from her hands covering her face. Another thought occurred to her. “God, you know every single time I have a sex dream don’t you?” She made a face, wincing.

Matt’s jaw flexed. “Yeah,” he said tightly after a moment. “Yeah, I do. But I swear I try really hard not to notice.”

“God, that’s embarrassing. I swear I’m not a sixteen year old with raging hormones, I just–”

“It’s alright,” he said. He hadn’t moved a muscle. Even worse, he was still only in sweatpants, and the vision of him without his shirt on was really doing a number on her. “I–don’t usually notice so much but I’m so…in tune with you it’s hard not to…notice. Not to…react.” She noticed that his face was flushed, his breathing faster than it had been, that hand still gripping the door frame like a lifeline.

Oh, she thought.

Matt Murdock was really turned on, and was trying to act like he wasn’t.

She bit her lips so hard she tasted blood. Matt still hadn’t moved. Her thighs clenched unconsciously again.

Voice strained, he said, “You’re making it really hard to take things slow, Grace.” His voice was edged in gravel, scraping her skin raw as the words danced up her spine.

Grace stood and walked very slowly towards him. Did she imagine it, or did the wood of the door frame creak as his muscles tensed even more? Matt looked like a man about to snap.

And Grace wanted to make him snap. Wanted him to lose control, like he’d done to her the other night.

There were things she could do that didn’t involve anything near his bruised ribs, after all. She turned the thought over in her mind. There were definitely ways she could pay him back without him having to move a muscle. Things she really wanted to do.

She pressed her palms to Matt’s muscled back. A tremor went through his frame as her hands slid up his spine to his shoulders. His skin was so warm it was almost hot. One of her hands grabbed loosely at the back of his neck while the other trailed down his arm and down to the hand gripping the wall like it was holding him up. Or holding him back.

“I thought you were going to shower, Matt,” she said in a husky voice she barely recognized.

“I was,” he said thickly. She felt him swallow hard. She let her hands explore every inch of his back and shoulders and arms that wasn’t bruised. Another tremor went through him and she heard him exhale shakily. She pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades. She wondered if stuff like this–a lover’s touch–was something his senses amplified even more.

She wanted to find out, but now wasn’t the time.

She gripped his hips lightly, then stepped back and ducked under his arm.

“What are you doing?” he asked, voice so tight she knew he was barely hanging on by a thread.

Grace looked back at him over her shoulder. She pulled her shirt over her head. “If you’re not going to shower, I am.” She turned the shower on so the water would warm up.

She shimmied out of her pants then unhooked her bra. Matt still hadn’t moved. She could hear him breathing heavily behind her. She pretended she didn’t notice the effect she was having on him, even though he could tell how fast her heart was racing, how aroused she already was.

Her underwear were lace again, a nice black pair–not that Matt would know about the color. But she was certain he could hear the difference in material as she very slowly slid those off, too. Matt gasped and she knew she was right. He knew her underwear were sexy, even if he couldn’t see them.

She stepped into the warm spray of water and let out a little sigh. The water really felt nice. She closed her eyes and brushed her hands over her breasts, down her stomach, to her thighs.

When she opened them, she saw Matt through the glass door of the shower. He’d finally let go of the door frame and seemed to be fighting with himself.

Grace touched herself and was rewarded by his head snapping towards her. With a noise of frustration she could hear over the water, Matt stripped off his sweatpants and kicked them to the side. She saw how much he strained against his underwear. Her mouth went dry as he got rid of those, too, and she was finally rewarded with the sight of Matt Murdock entirely naked. His tongue darted out to wet his lips.

In her haste, she hadn’t turned the bathroom light on. Matt was illuminated through the open door from behind by a soft magenta coming through the windows. Grace stared at him, and knew he knew she was staring. His head tilted to the side, hearing what the sight of him did to her, and that goddamn cocky smile spread slowly across his face. Her eyes dipped down and her entire body flushed at the sight of just how aroused he was.

With the edges of his naked body framed in purple, Matt stalked towards her slowly, purposefully.

“I thought you wanted to take things slow,” he said, the words half a growl. He looked almost…predatory. But instead of being afraid, Grace was even more turned on. Her heart was racing so fast she felt a little faint.

“I’m just taking a shower,” she said, but the innocent words were breathless with anticipation. “I never said we were having sex.”

Matt stepped into the water, closer and closer until her back hit the cold tile wall. She bit back a gasp. She glanced up at Matt, water cascading over his hair and face and his deliciously muscled shoulders.

One of his hands moved, and she tensed at the anticipation of his hands on her body.

When he stepped back, she blinked in surprise. Matt squirted some shampoo into his hand and started washing his hair as if nothing was happening, despite the raging hard on he so obviously had.

Grace frowned, then reached for the bar of soap. She lathered up her hands and smoothed them over Matt’s shoulders. He froze again. She said nothing, working her way down across his abs and around to his back, careful to keep just enough space between them that no other part of their bodies touched. She was careful, too, to avoid the bruises on his side. She was determined to make him feel only pleasure, no pain.

He was breathing heavily again, his eyes closing as her soapy hands brushed his hips and down the front of his thighs. She couldn’t help it–her hands slid around to his back and then lower, gripping his ass quickly before letting go. Matt jolted.

“Sorry,” she said breezily. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

“Is that the only thing?” he asked, still cocky and sure of himself.

In response, she reached out and brushed across his cock. His breath stuttered out of him, a pained noise coming from his throat.

She stepped closer, their bodies pressing together, skin sliding against skin, as her hand grabbed him firmly.

“No,” she murmured. “That’s not the only thing.” Her hand started pumping him as the other continued exploring his muscles. His hand smoothed down her back and grabbed her ass. She nipped a spot on his neck as her hand kept moving very slowly around his length. “I promised I’d pay you back, didn’t I?”

Matt’s mouth opened, but he seemed incapable of speech as her other hand joined the first. His free hand smacked wetly against the wall as his body shuddered.

Grace had never been so turned on, except for maybe when Matt had been on his knees in front of her.

“Last night,” Grace said, then moaned as Matt cupped her breast. “This is what I was imagining. That you had joined me.” He panted, breath hot on her neck before he kissed her there, right where her pulse hammered beneath her skin. “I imagined–Fuck.” He’d lightly pinched her nipple, a jolt of electricity sparking down her entire body. “I imagined that night when we kissed on the counter. I imagined doing that again, but naked. You fucking me there.”

Matt kissed her, mouth open, his tongue demanding. The hand that had been on the wall gripped her neck. She didn’t think someone grabbing her neck could be so fucking hot, but she grew even more turned on.

But she had a plan in mind, first.

Grace pulled away with the kiss with a desperate gasp, extricating herself from Matt, who almost whined. It took all of her willpower, but she managed to step away from him.

He went still as she got to her knees. She looked up at him, blinking water from her eyes. His hand fumbled in the air before it came to rest on her shoulder, like he couldn’t tell where she’d gone. She didn’t think he was breathing.

“You don’t–” he murmured, but his words cut off with a loud moan as her lips wrapped around him. His other hand tangled in her hair. Matt cursed as she moved slowly, her tongue tasting him. God, she never knew that this could be so fucking hot, either. She’d never enjoyed doing this before, but it was almost as good as if he’d been touching her, pleasing her. Her thighs clenched together again and Matt’s hips jerked in response. She choked lightly and he tried to back away, but she gripped his ass with both hands and held him there.

“Grace,” he choked out. “Fuck.”

The way he said her name made her moan around him and his hips jerked again, fucking her mouth like he couldn’t help it. She felt like she could come just from pleasing him. She remembered Matt on his knees, his mouth on her, the desperate noises he’d made. She understood perfectly how much he’d enjoyed it, enjoyed watching her come undone from just his mouth, because that’s how she felt at that moment.

Matt’s movements became quicker, more erratic, and he suddenly half-shoved her away.

His hands lightly cupped her face and he drew her upwards to kiss her roughly. His hands were all over her, like he couldn’t get enough of her, of touching her. The water poured over them, making their skin slip and slide against each other.

He spun her around and pinned her against the wall so quickly she gasped. The tile was freezing against her aching breasts, a delicious contradiction to the heat of Matt as he pressed his chest against her back and sloppily kissed down her neck and across her shoulder. One of his hands kneaded her breast while the other slid down, down, down.

The first brush against her clit made her jerk forward, but Matt’s hand on her chest kept her in place, pressed tightly against him. His cock was pressing against her hip and ass.

A desperate noise fell from her lips as Matt’s fingers slipped into her.

“Fuck,” he said again as he felt exactly how turned on she was. The hand on her breast came up to loosely hold her throat and the sensation sent another bolt of pleasure through her. She’d had no idea she liked that until he did it. And the fact that it was Matt, that she knew without a doubt that he wouldn’t hurt her, made it an even headier sensation.

His fingers worked relentlessly, and she came hard around within minutes. Matt moaned as she clenched around him. She shuddered through the orgasm, stars in her eyes, her body tensing and relaxing as she came down from the high.

She whirled around and went straight back to her knees. Staring up at him, she said hoarsely, “I’m supposed to be paying you back.” Then she took him into her mouth again and set a relentless pace, her tongue moving as she took him deep into her throat, one hand wrapping around the base.

“Grace, I’m–” he tried to say, trying to pull away, but she only took him deeper, faster, and he came with a sharp cry. His hips jerked as she tasted him, almost coming again from just the sounds Matt was making. He was shaking as she used her tongue to keep him clean.

When he finally stilled, she released him with a wet pop and then stood on shaky legs. Matt leaned his forehead against hers, panting as he tried to catch his breath.

“I can’t stay away from you,” he said in a low voice.

“Then don’t,” she said, a challenge. Matt kissed her, lingering against her.

“I mean it,” he said. “No one has ever made me so crazy like you. No one’s made me lose control like you. Not even–”

It’s the way his words cut off that doused her in a cold chill as if the hot water had run out. Matt moved away, just enough, his expression troubled. Grace picked up her shampoo. Might as well finish the shower, she thought, though apprehension curled through her limbs and weighed her down.

“Not even…?” she asked carefully. She made sure to keep her expression light, her heart steady, employing years of techniques she’d used to keep calm in terrifying situations. This wasn’t terrifying though–it was something else, an emotion she wasn’t familiar with. She ducked her head into the water to rinse out the suds.

“Elektra.” Her name was a resigned sigh on Matt’s lips. He reached out before she could condition her hair, taking the bottle from her. Grace closed her eyes as his long fingers worked gently through the tangles. She hummed. The gesture was sweet, intimate, even more so than what they’d just done.

“Ah,” Grace said as he worked the substance into her hair. “She the one who gave you the pink silk pajamas?”

Matt huffed a laugh. One of his hands steadied her shoulder as he guided her head under the water to rinse. “No, though she would have been the one to buy me something expensive like that.”

“What happened between you? Sorry–you just said before…” She bit the corner of her lip. “You said before that Daredevil always came between you and your relationships.”

Matt didn’t say anything. He picked up the bar of soap–someone knowing that she’d been using his scentless soap instead of her own–and started lathering her body. His hands kneaded tight muscles, and she almost moaned at the sensation. It wasn’t sexual, but like him washing her hair, it was intimate.

Right when she assumed he wouldn’t answer the question, Matt said, “She died.”

Grace sucked in a breath. “Oh, Matt. I’m sorry.”

“I–It was complicated. We weren’t…together at that time. But we could have been, if things had been different.” There was a tortured look on Matt’s face. She could see the pain in the tightness in his eyes and at the corners of his mouth. She didn’t want to press but the urge to know was almost overwhelming. It was all over his face, the love he’d had for this woman, the pain he still felt over her death. It was consuming her, this new, unknown emotion, dark and twisted and sharp in her gut.

“I’m sorry,” she said again as the soap washed from her body.

Matt switched off the water and reached out for their towels. “I should probably…tell you about her.”

Grace suddenly had a name for the emotion.

Jealousy.

Matt touched her cheek with the back of his hand. He followed her into the bedroom. Her heart had picked up a bit and she hated that he could hear it. She didn’t want to care so much about a dead ex of Matt’s, but she did.

“Only if you want to,” she said as she pulled out some pajamas. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Matt stood there, bathed in soft blue light from the sign outside, his head tilted to the side, towel slung low on his hips. Listening to her heart. To her lie. The light shifted to a darker blue. Water glistened across his chest.

“You want me to,” he said, and it wasn’t a question or even an accusation. Merely a fact he was stating.

Grace made a frustrated noise. “Stop–eavesdropping,” she said, which earned her half a smile. “Of course I do, but I respect your boundaries.”

“I want to tell you about her,” he said. At the words, something within her eased and settled.

“Then you have to put clothes on first.” He seemed confused, a little wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows. “You’re too distracting,” she said, waving a hand at his body.

Matt chuckled, but went to the dresser and pulled out underwear and a t-shirt. The droplets on his skin darkened the material of his shirt after he tugged it on. “Better?”

“Much better.”

Grace went back into the bathroom to finish her nighttime routine. Matt followed her and leaned against the open door, his arms crossed. She didn’t press, merely waited for him to tell her what he was going to tell her.

“Elektra and I met in college,” Matt said after a couple of minutes. “We met at a fancy party Foggy and I were crashing. I left with her in a car she’d stolen, even though she was the daughter of diplomats and could have bought any car she wanted. She was…chaotic. Full of life. Unafraid. She had a mean streak, a sense of darkness and violence in her that took me a long time to see. I stopped going to class and almost flunked out. Our relationship ended with her taking me to the house of the man who’d ordered the death of my father. She tried to get me to kill him.”

Grace’s breath hissed through her teeth in a sharp inhale. Questions brimmed at the tip of her tongue but she kept silent.

“And when I didn’t give in, she left me.” Matt laughed without humor. “She left me, and it broke me. Foggy was the one who picked up the pieces, really. And then one day she showed up in my apartment here after Karen and I had gone on a date.” Matt rubbed at his hair with one hand, flinging water everywhere. Grace watched him, rapt, leaning back against the bathroom counter. “She tricked me into helping her, into getting involved with the Hand, and doing the one thing I’d sworn never to do–join Stick’s stupid holy war.”

“I’m sorry,” Grace said, unable to help herself. “I just–Stick? The Hand?”

Matt hummed and took a deep breath. “Sorry there’s–so much you don’t know. I don’t want to overwhelm you, but so many of the things that have happened to me, especially since becoming Daredevil, are all tied together. Stick is the blind man who trained me as a kid after I lost my dad. He taught me to fight, to use my abilities, and to do the two together. He actually trained Elektra too, but I didn’t know that until later. The Hand was…remember how I mentioned ancient ninjas? The Hand was this secret, ancient organization that Stick was training me to fight.”

“That is…so you are a ninja?” Grace decided to joke, because maybe that would ease the shadows that were so clear on Matt’s face. He was in pain still, from all of this, from everything that had been done to him. She hadn’t missed that he said this Stick guy had trained him as a kid.

“Something like that.” Matt’s jaw twitched.

“Elektra was a ninja, too?”

“Something like that,” he said again, softer. “Stick showed up in the midst of all of that, convinced that I had to join his cause with Elektra against the Hand. So I gave her a choice. To do things my way, to be with me, to be good, or lose me and fight in Stick’s war and give in to the violence inside herself. Because she–she enjoyed killing, and when I realized that–” He swallowed hard. “I knew she could be better, and she chose me. She and I understood each other, understood the violence that drove us both. And I wanted her to see that she could choose that path–to fight, but to do it in a way that wouldn’t break her. But the Hand–the Hand killed her when we fought them, before we could find out how things could be.”

Grace covered her mouth with one hand. To love like that, and to lose someone you loved, someone who chose you over everything they’d ever known–she could see why Matt said he struggled with that darkness, and still struggled. “What happened to the Hand?” she asked after a moment. “Earlier you said the Hand was.”

“Well,” Matt said slowly. “This is where it gets hard to believe.”

“Harder to believe than an ancient organization of ninjas and you being a blind ninja?” she asked skeptically. “It can’t be much harder to believe than that.”

Matt walked away and sat at the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, head bent as if praying. It was her turn to lean in the doorway, watching him lay himself bare to her in a wholly different way.

“The Hand brought Elektra back,” he said so quietly she was sure she’d misheard.

“Back?” she repeated. “Like, they saved her after that fight?”

Matt was shaking his head before she was finished. “No. We buried her. We had a small funeral, Stick and I. And then–I don’t know, they did some kind of ancient ritual or magic or–I don’t know what. But they brought her back somehow, without her memories, turned her into a perfect weapon they called the Black Sky.”

Grace shut her mouth quickly when she realized it was hanging open. “I–You’re right, it’s pretty unbelievable.”

Matt scoffed. “Yeah. It is. I saw it–well, experienced it–and I still couldn’t believe it. I held her as she died, and then, weeks later, she was trying to kill me.”

“But what happened to the Hand? And she–you said she died.” Grace rubbed at her temples. “I’m sorry, it’s just–”

“No, I know how it sounds. Trust me. The Hand built a skyscraper at Midland Circle.”

“Oh,” Grace said as several pieces clicked into place at the name. She remembered seeing the collapse of the building all over the news. It had been sensationalized, although no one had been reported dead. For weeks, there had been debates of terrorism, a coverup, versus what they said had happened, which was a fault line causing the collapse. “Is that…the skyscraper that almost killed you?”

“Mm. Yeah. I’m getting to that part. Long story short, I had the help of some…other people with abilities to fight the Hand throughout all of this. Elektra killed Stick and kidnapped Danny Rand–”

“Danny Rand?” Grace said. “Sorry, I swear I don’t mean to interrupt but–billionaire Danny Rand?”

“Yeah. He’s a ninja too, basically, but there’s more to it that isn’t relevant to this.” Grace blinked at Matt as he spoke, dazed. Danny Rand was also a ninja, which seemed less believable than Matt being a blind ninja. “They took him to Midland Circle, and what they were trying to accomplish was going to obliterate the city. So we went to rescue Danny and to stop them. They planted bombs to collapse the building. We went forty stories below the building to get Danny…and I sent the others out.”

There was another long pause. Grace thought that, even if Matt had sight, he wouldn’t be seeing what was right in front of him. His gaze and mind were far away, down below that building and whatever had happened down there.

“I didn’t expect to make it out alive, but I had to try. Elektra recognized me, and I had to try to appeal to her, get her to see that she could be good. With me. But–” His voice cracked slightly on the word. “The bombs went off, and the building came down. I–somehow, I made it out, but her body was never found. And the Hand…the rest of them were wiped out down there, too.”

Grace sank on to the bed next to him. She hesitantly reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Jesus, Matt,” she breathed. “I’m so sorry for everything you went through.”

Matt bobbed his head in a nod. “Yeah. Me too.”

“I can’t believe–I mean, the woman you loved died twice, a building fell on your head, and–and you’re still living. You aren’t just existing, you’re living. You’re…if not happy, you’re getting there. You…amaze me.” Her gaze was hungry as it roved over him. Matt Murdock was a walking, talking miracle. A man who had faced every kind of darkness, who had faced death, and had come out on top.

“Some days, yeah,” he said. He blinked and seemed to surface from the memory as if coming from deep water. “Foggy and Karen–they’re the ones who got me to see the light again, so to speak. After Fisk was released, we tried and tried to take him down and it didn’t work. And that darkness–the very same darkness that made me want to die in that building–it consumed me. I was going to kill him. Up until the very last moment, I was going to kill him. But I didn’t. And Foggy and Karen–they saw that goodness within me, and they kept me from going down that path.” He swallowed hard again.

Her hand slid down his arm to lace her fingers with his. “I’m so, so glad.”

He tilted his head to face her. “Me too,” he said softly. “Because it all led to you.”

Her breath caught. “It’s–I’m not that special.” The words stuttered out of her as warmth settled in her cheeks. She wasn’t like this Elektra woman, who Matt said had been like him, who had understood him. Grace was just…no one. A girl who’d been dating the wrong guy, who’d ended up in Matt Murdock’s orbit by sheer chance.

“Grace,” Matt said, her name a soft protest. “Do you not remember how this conversation started?”

She blinked. All her mind conjured up was what they’d done in the shower and then his gentle hands washing her as he talked. “I’m sorry, the only thing coming to mind is…inappropriate.”

He flashed her a grin but a hint of the shadows was still there. “I was telling you that no one had ever made me crazy or out of control like you do. Not even Elektra.”

He sounded so earnest–so convicted–as he said it that she wanted to believe him. But a woman like Elektra, a woman he’d tried to save twice, who he said had understood him like no one else had understood him…It was hard to believe that she could come anywhere close in comparison.

“Please tell me what you’re thinking,” Matt finally said. “I can’t stand hearing what your thoughts are doing to your body and not knowing.”

“I’m–I’m just normal, Matt. I’m nothing special. I’m not rich, I’m not a ninja, I’m not some secret badass who understands you on a deep level.” Humiliation washed over her like hot oil. It choked her. It stole her breath. “I just…ended up begging you for a job by chance.”

“Grace.” Her name was almost a prayer. She closed her eyes. She fought the emotion rising within her, because it was so familiar to her–she wasn’t good enough, and she never would be. Matt touched her chin. “You don’t have to be rich or a ninja or a secret badass for me to like you. For you to be special. I’ve learned how kind and good you are, and that’s attractive to me.”

She made a soft noise of protest that was halfway a scoff. “Besides,” she said, ignoring him. “Is it–even a good thing that I make you crazy and out of control?”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s what you’re worried about here?” he said. “I meant that as in…I’m crazy about you. And you make me–want to kiss you every second I’m around you. You make me make bets with you when I’m drunk just so I can touch you.”

A small thrill went through her. “You can touch me whenever you want, Matt,” she said softly. “I just–sorry. I’m new to the relationship thing, believe it or not.”

Matt smirked. “Me too. My last serious girlfriend left me in college because I wouldn’t kill a man, then died, was resurrected, tried to kill me, and died again.”

“Elektra was your last serious girlfriend?” she asked, surprised.

“If you can even count it as serious. I loved her, if that’s what you mean, but our relationship was never…conventional. It wasn’t…healthy. It might have been, if things had worked out, but…Otherwise I had a few dates here and there, one night stands…that’s about it.” He shrugged.

“My only serious relationship was set up by our parents and it turned out he’s an evil bastard, so…” She chewed on the corner of her lip and fiddled with a thread on the sheets. “So is this…serious?”

“If you want it to be.” His voice was so soft, so gentle, she wanted to cry. “But I want it to be.”

“I do, too. But I don’t think this counts as a conventional relationship, either. I mean, we worked together and lived together first. Then there was the whole bet thing…And we haven’t been on a proper date yet.” Grace nudged his knee with hers.

“I think I like it better this way,” he murmured before he kissed her. “I’ve never been friends with a woman before dating, unless you count my two dates with Karen.”

“Matt, I think you’re a whore,” she said around a laugh.

“A whore?” he repeated with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah. I mean, you’ve had one serious relationship, have never been friends with a woman before dating, apparently had a lot of one night stands…You’re a whore.” She laughed again at the expression on his face.

“It does sound kind of bad when you put it like that,” he said.

“I’m kidding, though. It’s just funny to hear you say it like that. We’re a pair, aren’t we? We’ve each had one serious relationship and neither of them were…healthy.” Grace bit back a yawn as she talked. She wanted to stay up with Matt all night. She’d never enjoyed someone’s company so much, even when he was talking about his badass ninja ex-girlfriend.

But of course Matt’s head tilted and he said, “You’re tired. You should sleep.”

He went to stand but she grabbed his wrist. “You might as well start sleeping in the bed, Matt.” At his clear hesitation she hurriedly added, “If you want to.”

“I do, I just–don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It won’t make me uncomfortable, I promise. Besides, there’s plenty of room.” She stroked a finger across his wrist. She studied him, his tension, and decided to switch tactics. “Please? It makes me feel safer with you next to me.”

It was the truth, and Matt knew it. He immediately softened. “Of course,” he said. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before rounding the bed and slipping between the sheets.

Grace followed his example with an excited shiver. She felt almost giddy about having him sleep in the bed with her. He wanted their relationship to be serious–something she’d never imagined could be true. And now, here he was, laying beside her like it was the most natural thing in the world.

She curled on her side to face him. She pillowed her head on her hands and studied him openly. “I should have probably asked which side of the bed you sleep on.”

“The middle, actually,” he said with a quirk of his lips. He was on his back, but he rolled onto his side to face her. “So I might end up on top of you.”

Electricity prickled through her at his words. “Trust me, I would have no problem with that.”

His grin flashed in the darkness. “I don’t think I would either.”

“I’m just–used to sleeping on this side, is all. But I can switch, however it makes you most comfortable.”

He reached out and with unerring accuracy brushed a strand of her hair out of her face. “I’m plenty comfortable, don’t worry.” The lines of his face had softened. He was tired too. She’d almost forgotten that earlier he’d been out as Daredevil, fighting, going up against at least one or maybe all of the men who’d broken in.

Grace yawned.

“Sleep, Grace,” Matt said as his hand moved from her hair to stroke the side of her face. The sensation was calming. Her muscles unclenched and her body sank a bit deeper into the mattress.

“Mm.” He gently brushed his fingers across her forehead and over her cheek. The repeated movement was making her more tired. “Goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight.”

Within minutes, sleep had claimed her with its long fingers, pulling her under and rocking her on gentle waves.

Next Chapter

taglist:

@zaminoo @yanna-banana @bellal1 @thetrinitytest @harry-bowie-mercury @lorosette @feliciab1990

#matt murdock x oc #matt murdock x ofc #matt murdock x original female character #matt murdock x original character #matt murdock #daredevil x oc #daredevil x ofc #daredevil x original female character #daredevil x original character #daredevil #netflix daredevil #saved #saved daredevil #saved fic

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blissfulalchemist · 3 months

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fear, hate, hide, midnight for carly:3

Thank you Liz! Sorry this took a bit of time but I didn't realize how much I had to say on Carly. Anyway! Hope you enjoy! EW spoilers tw: brief mentions and implications of abuse and suicide just in case nothing is graphic

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

Carly is very fearful of being powerless. She grew up powerless and vowed to never be that way again. Like sure she got out but at what cost to herself? In any universe this is true and it is also true that she is not open about it. Very few people know her story and she keeps it that way. Stasia knows and understands the feelings, but she also figured it out right away or at least overall idea she never asked for details. In ffxiv Carly only ever tells the whole story very vulnerably to Zenos and its a big part of why she's so connected to him, why she gets so angry when he well perishes. He's seen the real her (which is very literal in this case, temporarily, as she let her dark side take over and in that moment her eyes shifted from red back to their original emerald green and her hair to its naturally darker color) and still chose to have her despite the weakness within. You can also see it in little hints here and there if you know what to look for, but she does a very good job in hiding it overall.

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

Carly holds a lot of hatred for the world as a whole because she suffered so much trauma and no one was very kind to her. To get more specific she has a bit more of a hatred to the cis male population from the power they hold in society, to how they objectified her, the way the spoke about her rise to power, and overall just the negatives they have. A lot of this is due to life experiences, and once having power she takes more joy from playing and toying with them. She also has a deep deep hatred for abusers. She may not save the person being abused but she will kill them if she's allowed to (sometimes upsettingly she has to let them live for political business reasons). This is gender neutral and doesn't even have to be a parent to child or partner to partner, she will not stand for those in a town being against a single person as its the same thing in her eyes. This is also where it starts to look like she's killing people for little things which yeah on occasion but overall she's looking for a pattern and she gives you at least a second chance (kind of mostly you get one freebie to say something and then change behavior and she won't give you a warning), but some like in ffxiv where some soldiers make an insinuation that another female half-garlean soldier fucked her way through the ranks and that was an on sight kill (she did politely offer the woman one of them to kill but the other girl didn't want to).

A little more specific hatred she hates Siberite with a passion because she finds her heroism to be very hypocritical and she killed the love of her life. Its a complex situation between them but she will never get over Siberite killing a person when all she claimed to kill (initially) were primal beings/monsters. Zenos was never monstrous in Carly's eyes, and the fact was no one else bothered to try and look past that. Siberite and the Scions all came out of Shadowbringers having a better understanding on listening to the enemy and seeing their side but they still in her opinion never extended the same courtesy to her or Zenos. She also finds it the utmost disrespectful act of not even bothering to try and bring back his body (never mind that she was planning on bringing him back from the dead) so he could at least be given the bare minimum of respect of being laid to rest which is something that Siberite claimed to care about. Needless to say next expansion is going to be quite interesting between these two.

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

Carly really hides her past and her childhood. It is so very very rare for her to divulge anything about it that you are really fuckin' special if you know anything about it. There is a reason why her last name is Doe when I tag things as her human time because she doesn't even use her birth name. She will let you assume (mostly) whatever you like about her past because its not her, she's no longer that person and therefore no longer relevant. In her og verse Stasia knows all the face value details (name, birthday, place of birth etc.) because Carly did care for her younger brother and arranged for funds to be sent to him for his care in his older years and so her nieces and nephews could have a decent inheritance. Other than that good luck, I hope you survive.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Carly used to have a lot of nightmares when she was fresh from the abuse of her mother and in her og verse from WWII being in the London bombings and taking on being a field nurse essentially. It gets a little complicated in that she's younger in ffxiv when she kills her mother and runs away from it vs og verse where she's an adult and uses the war to get away from her, because the dreams themselves are different and present differently.

In her og verse she has a deep fear of her mother coming back into her life and dictating it that she never dreamed of her mother beating her but of morphing into her because of the control her mother would exert. It wouldn't wake her in a cold sweat but in her everyday life you could see it in the way she made choices in life. She threw herself into the war effort of the USO to get sent overseas, once there she had quick and fast relationships hoping to find a decent man to marry so that her mother could have no say in her life since she'd be married. She moved to Vegas under a fake name to get in with the mob or at least someone powerful to just keep the little power she did have being out from her mother. Stasia provided the most for her and it created that deep loyalty to her.

In ffxiv she's 16 when she murders her mother and is on the run and she has nightmares every night of the abuse and they worsen on the days she didn't have much to eat since she was also starved to keep a dancer's physique. She's convinced in some way that her mother would come back for her and it would all begin again, which was unfounded because she dismembered that woman. But it all weighed so heavily because she was a kid and had nothing else to fall back on nor means to really make a name for herself given her half Garlean status, so there was a time where she just figured it was better to be dead then trying to keep looking for something to hold on to. However it was this act that brought her to finding the job stone of a Dark Knight and learning how to fight which would lead to her joining up in the Garlean army and finding herself under Gaius' charge until she was found by Stasia. The nightmares stopped after she took up Dark Knight, but unlike og verse where they stopped because she found power, in ffxiv its because she very literally let her dark side take over and inhabits her body. (a little weird and hard to explain but like it works guess think of it like Venom and their host getting along)

#Thank you again liz! Didn't realize I had so many thoughts on the woman #carly oc #carly chara questions #I just think she's neat!

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betyourue · 2 years

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okay, hear me out for a second

*just based on the tv show events.

Pete likes to humiliate Vegas because he knows how powerful he could be and wants him to archive that level of power.

let me explain:

Pete and Vegas share a trauma: they both have been trapped in a circle of abuse inflicted by their fathers. One got out first and the other is still fighting against it.

Pete hates what his father did, he speaks about him and it with anger and contempt, there's no forgiveness, he didn't get over it, he just fought his way out of it and become stronger so he could gain the control back. He took his trauma and did something with it, if the trauma turned him into a monster, then that's it.

Now, he sees that Vegas is under the same circle of abuse and he desperately wants him to get out of it because it reminds him of himself. He gives Vegas all the elements and even explain to him what's going on so he can get out of it quickly. Still, Vegas has been trapped too long in this and it isn't easy for him to process. So, he shows weakness, he suffers and he still loves his father dearly.

Pete finds that pathetic.

Pete knows the potential in Vegas because he knows the potential inside his own self. He knows how much powerful Vegas is and could be if he just knew some stuff. He just wants him to become better and stronger. That's why he likes to humiliate him, that's why he destroyed his plan and laughed and then he told him he's stupid for hurting himself because of his father and that's why Vegas can see that Pete likes it when he's fucked up.

Pete wants Vegas to become better and stronger because crying about that abuse is some weak ass thing to do, it's pathetic and stupid. So, yeah, Pete has been trying to annoy Vegas enough so he can show how powerful he can be, he wants to see him destroy things, kill, humiliate and win as the king he is deep inside himself. He wants Vegas to prove that he is worth it.

Pete sees himself in Vegas and he wants Vegas to reach his level quicker because he can't stand his weakness and vulnerability, that's why he stays and makes sure he can still push him forward to his goal.

And the sex... He just let Vegas do all the job, like literally: "prove me wrong, show me that you aren't a pathetic little man who wouldn't know what to do with a person like me" Pete knows that Vegas speciality is probably seduction and sex and seeing him succeeding in it probably turns him on very much.

He likes Vegas in power, kidnapping him and fucking him like the powerful and crazy man he is. Pete wants Vegas to be who he is and if his father created a monster, then he should deal with it. That's why he asks to be tied up because it reminds him of when Vegas was still in control and obligue him to take the pill.

Sorry but it's more like:

"you think you succeeded at seducing me? you did! such a good boy, now what are you going to do about it?"

I don't think Pete exactly likes to be hurt, I think he likes when Vegas shows his power that way because he gets satisfaction when Vegas isn't in his victim role.

That smile at the end of the sex it means to me that he got to see Vegas as who he really is, he kind of gladly opened the door to Vegas craziness (which is product of the abuse) and kind of got the chance to see that fully. Vegas showed him he's not pathetic or weak, and that fucks with Pete's mind.

See, what is crazy about Pete is that he despite weakness and thinks that all people have traumas and that they all hide it because it isn't okay or safe to act just like we really are in daily basis. But he thinks that if he became a bodyguard that kills, hurts and beats without a hesitation all the weak people he has to (which is a product of his trauma) then it's what he is. The trauma turned him into that and the world should deal with it.

Pete is fascinating.

Pete is literally the only person that sees potential in Vegas because is the only one who sees greatness in his craziness. They are going to be unstoppable.

#vegaspete #kinnporche the series #see i think thats the reason behind it #i am not complaining #this is the greatest thing #episode 12 #vegas x pete

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boycottyashahime · 2 years

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Sessrin is so shit even general proshippers & casual Inuyasha fans hate it. Was legit talking to one of these the other day and she admitted Sessrin shipping is incredibly rare in non-IY proship circles and despite being a proshipper she herself would’ve only watched the sequel for InuKag but she immediately peaced out as soon she saw that it wasn’t going to focus on them. But sure Sessrin keep telling themselves the lie that their ship is sooo beloved, and the most popular ship of the IY fandom, meanwhile the majority were literally only here for InuKag and they’re the reason they even bothered to give Trashahime a second glance. 🤪🤭

Rumiko & Sunrise was literally sitting on a goldmine with InuKag and yet they continue to trash and shit over the ship and it’s fans when they were always the main draw to the franchise in the first place, they’re an iconic ship for a reason!

Sessrin is largely irrelevant even among the wider, general proship community. Like they’re not as popular among casuals or even the the Inuyasha fandom like Sessrinners say they are, it’s honestly soo embarrassing the way Sessrinners hype up their shit ship and try to make it sound more popular than it actually is. Nobody in the English-speaking or wider Inuyasha fandom fucking cares, as evidenced by the fact that Yashahime did so poorly it led to both it’s preemptive cancellation and Sunrise’s bankruptcy, literally the only ones who hardcore ship Sessrin is their own little raisin containment corner of crazy hags who stalk and doxx people for daring to insult their self-insert ✨QUEEN ✨Rin or have the nerve to imply Sesshomaru cared about literally anybody else. (not even just shipping him with people other than Rin, simply stating the canon fact that Rin wasn’t in fact the only one he cared about!)

Sessrinners are the Inuyasha fandom’s equivalent of those annoying middle-aged Twilight Moms.

They certainly did their best to create the illusion that S*ssR*n was a foregone conclusion, at the very least. Sunrise and the shippers worked pretty tirelessly to present the pairing as the only logical destination that Sesshoumaru and Rin's relationship could take, but it was a rather poor job done in the end. The shippers' desperation itself was a clear indication that they had spent a majority of their time shipping S*ssR*n trying to argue the same points to people who recoiled at this view of the relationship. If you find yourself insisting that your pairing is obvious and good to most other fans you meet, chances are that it's not that popular. And Sunrise, as I've explained previously, was just writing to the market they tried to create. Unfortunately for them, Inuyasha was too widely popular before the whole lolicon proliferation really took hold in anime, and they weren't able to create the demand for S*ssR*n necessary to make this pairing even a viable BASIS for their "sequel". They shouldn't have bet so heavily on their creepy little hints toward the pairing in the past.

But I do have to give them ONE tiny thing: it wasn't entirely out of nowhere that they would try to give Sesshoumaru a bigger role in a sequel they made, and I think the only reason they didn't make him the central figure was because RT asked them not to center the parents and instead the next generation. S*ssR*n may not have been as popular as either Sunrise nor shippers made it out to be, but Sesshoumaru himself was second only to Inuyasha in popularity (I say "was" because, well, turning him into a child sexual predator really bit into his popularity in the end, lol), and I could hardly find a comment section talking about the Inuyasha series without SOMEONE expressing a desire to see more of him in a spin-off. I would shake my head and laugh at this, because part of Sesshoumaru's appeal comes from his lack of concrete definition, and I knew any narrative that gave him more of a spotlight would end up exposing more of how fundamentally BORING he is.

You've at least got to hand it to Sunrise that they avoided the boring pitfall, only to get caught in the "this character is the actual WORST" pitfall instead. So, props for that, I guess.

I disagree that Yashahime led to Sunrise's bankruptcy, though. I think Yashahime was a hail mary pass at the end of a LONG ROAD of bad decisions that ended up not working out, but it was only the last ditch effort to avoid what was a much bigger fate. Sunrise no doubt had done many things, both in public and behind the scenes, to set up their domino line of a downfall. Not that it's going to mean much going forward with, what is it, Bandai? It's the same shit, different name as far as I'm concerned.

But yeah, overall, I think it's absolutely true that the people who are invested in S*ssR*n give the overall impression of being this fandom's most insufferable members. They don't really care much about any aspect to the series other than how it might be used to argue for their questionable, non-canon ship, and their insecurity is a constant eruption whenever anyone so much as hints at Sesshoumaru's relationships with others. It's absurd and sad, and I'm surprised they haven't all given themselves aneurysms in their apoplectic rage that the rest of the fandom doesn't agree with them yet.

#anti sessrin #antisessrin #anti sunrise #anti yashahime

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hellmersy · 2 years

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mini rants about my DBD survivor mains (plus the outfits I have for them) bc I have THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. (Also sorry, ik I'm pretty much just talking about the same survivors over and over again but I'm like totally feral for them and will literally talk about them any chance I get)

Zarina Kassir: Despite being an overall good person Zarina does have a bit of a darker side to her. Her time spent undercover has affected her morals in some ways and by that I mean she has 100% killed someone before. We know from her lore that she had her Father's murderers arrested and convicted, but one time she went deep for an expo piece about a human trafficking ring and the things she witnessed in those two years changed her as a person. When all was said and done she lured the "ring master" back to his home, drugged him, set it ablaze and didn't look back. She talks with Tapp about cases that went wrong sometimes, about what they wish they had done right or better the first time, people they wish they could have saved. It's cathartic for them both in a way, nothing close to closure but something akin to it and for that she is greatfull.

David King: The reason it took David so long to come out is mostly due to the aristocratic brainwashing he has been fed since he was a child. When he came into the realm he was cold and distant but with time he became the protector, the person who fought for his friends even if it meant he died as a result. The lessons he had been taught from an early age told him that if he really was "one of those queers" then his value as a person would become non-existent and his friends and family would abandon him. His "friends" before the fog took him however, were basically tailor made to his parents expectations; All from other wealthy families, promising futures with good connections. Eventually he realized he wasn't a person to his family at all, he was a marketing campaign, a tool to expand their company further. He didn't know what to expect from these people that, despite him having died for multiple times, he still didn't truly trust, he didn't want them to be the same. So he never told them. Claudette was the first person to ask why he looked at Dwight like he was in love with him. David got defensive, then angry, then broke down sobbing. It was very dramatic. Claudette gives the best hugs for such a petite woman and he's eternally grateful for her friendship.

Mikaela Reid: Mikaela's debut to the arcane and witchcraft was a desperate attempt to contact her Father's spirit. She was 16 and alone, living in a shitty New England foster home that barely gave her the bare necessities and she just wanted to have a proper goodbye. She didn't get it... The Moonstone Cafe was her safe space, it was her salvation tucked into a little hole in the wall, but her Foster Parents had strict rules and harsh punishments that followed them. Starting her job at the Moonstone was the first good thing since her dad died, and was pretty much the only time she got out of the foster home aside from school. The second best thing was Julian, they met at one of the open mic storytelling nights and connected instantly, he was her muse and her best friend, he loved her and her stories and wanted only for her to thrive with the shit hand life dealt her. Now she mourns, because she can feel it in her soul that he's dead. The thing that took her ensured there would be no witnesses to it, and she hates it. Little does she know her hatred only makes it stronger...

Felix Richter: Felix often finds himself disassociating while not in a trial. All those years of thinking his parents were some part insane only to find out they were right all along, it broke something in him. His anxious ways are replaced by a catatonia that only Elodie can guide him out of and despite being in the realm for some time before she showed up he's only now starting to connect with others. Elodie is the one to tell him that his wife was pregnant the last she'd heard of her, that she was safe and mourning and starting to get her life back in order. This didn't exactly bring the sort of comfort that she'd hoped for.

SURVIVOR OUTFITS

Zarina Kassir 1: Asymmetrical Pink, Armored Undercover Jacket, White Denim.

Zarina Kassir 2: Easy Beanie, Convenient Jacket (Blue), Dark Denims (Teal).

Zarina Kassir 3: Defiant Shades, Leather Jacket (you only get this if you bought the chains of hate chapter, otherwise I also just use her default sometimes), Urban Cargo Pants.

David King 1: Trendy Specs (these are a rift cosmetic from Tome 11 so if you don't have them I recommend "Matinee Idol"), Dress Shirt & Suspenders, Dress Pants & Loafers.

David King 2: Golden Strands (these were a login reward during the 5th year anniversary. I think... If you don't have them I recommend "Hangover Style" 😉), Flashy Bartender, Distressed Denim (these two pieces were also part of the rift from tome 11).

David King 2.5: Stubborn Mug (or the "bloody David" headpiece if you have him at P6 after the prestige rework), Foggy Day Jacket, Cargo Trousers

David King 3: Hungover Haircut, Newsboy Vest, Checkered Past.

Mikaela Reid 1: Mystical Updo (headpiece from the current rift as of September 2022), Crescent Denim Jacket, Studded Shoes (leg piece from the current rift)

Mikaela Reid 2: Short Copper Curls, Golden Bangles (body piece from the current rift), Studded Shoes.

Mikaela Reid 3: Soft Round Crown Hat, Violet Off-Shoulder Top, Plum Thorn Tights & Shorts.

Felix Richter 1: Autumn Beard, Fashion Bomber, Business Trousers ( aka his default pants).

Felix Richter 2: Side Quiff, Designer Button-up, Boots & Blues.

Felix Richter 2.5: Charming Hair, Vested Design, Handsome Trousers (White)

Felix Richter 3: Post-Shower Hairstyle, Bowling Shirt, Ripped Midnight Jeans.

BONUS

The Huntress: Snow Ram Skull, Thick Hunters Coat, Wrapped Broad Axe.

The Artist: Inky Gaze, Nonconformist Dress, Mournful Blade (or Venous Blade).

The Trickster: Frosty Eyes, Polychrome Streetwear, Acute Head-Smasher.

The Legion: Atlas Flint Mask, Taped-Up Jumpsuit, Stealthy Blade.

The Hag: Ashen Locks, Molten Limbs, Calcified Talons.

The Pig: Reverse Bear Trap, Genuine Cool, Thorn's Kiss.

The Nurse: Dark Rose Gauze, Choking Corset, Lamenting Saw.

#dbd headcanons #dbd survivor #dbd killer #mikaela reid #david king #zarina kassir #felix richter

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dlthedescent · 2 years

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some Descent headcanons

So thanks to @thatguyender for starting this, I made two lists: a skill tree list for Mad Jack, my OC kickboxer, and a skill tree list for Freakazoid. I’ve had these thoughts way at the start - since when I first started the fic, I also thought of it game-design-wise - but never really sat down and wrote them out.

Though I expect myself to put a balance patch cuz I might have overdone it for Freakazoid... Eh. shrugs

First off, Mad Jack, my DL OC, Crane’s wingmate/crazy partner and Descent deuteragonist. She’s in a manner of speaking, a jack of all trades but also a skilled brawler. I do see her having some abilities/skills like old human Crane’s (power, survival, agility) because she is still a human fighter thrown in the same situation as he was (and not an overpowered infected). She’s no mercenary, though but she makes up by being crafty like a con artist.

Power

- Professional kickboxing brawler for 9 years (give or take). As true to her name, Mad Jack the Wild Dog, she can be a real berserker in combat. And when need to be defensive, tai chi (a lil hobby she took up in recent years) so that she can divert attacks thrown at her.

- She's ambidextrous. Able to use double weapons faster and effective than Crane would one handed weapon.

- She has a couple of power moves like Crane's. A suplex move, a roundhouse kick, maybe a dual wielding move etc. Can even put a man in a head choke

- She knows how to use guns. Had used them in the past. But she actually won't use guns right now (there's reason to my madness here, story purpose). If in game, her skill in using firearms would be the last thing unlockable down the tree. And if unlocked, added with her ambidexterity, she can be very deadly. She can use bows easily btw.

Agility

- Almost on par to old Crane's parkour skills (had learned them from her cous), relearning the ropes and such.

- More agile in combat and escaping/dodging than on parkour, where she puts her energy into.

- She has high tolerance to pain. Like a berserker, she can endure being inflicted when in a pinch.

- Taunts, bring the fight to her and not to other people.

- Thanks to tai chi, she can regenerate stamina faster (have a mental moment to get like a second wind)

- Will bite. Helps her get out of a sticky situation

Survivor

- Not a pro survival expert unlike someone who puts corpse grime onto himself. But willing to learn if it means surviving (doesn't mean she likes it)

- She has an eye for detail and is very resourceful, something from her past job. Which means she has better chance in looting than human Crane.

- Good with her words, twice good at bartering/haggling with shops (except with the Ravs. They know her tricks)

- She pickpockets. In battle, out of battle. She literally pulled a flash grenade off a Demolisher's body while being chased by it

- (tw blood, was a little unsure about putting this down) With her blood perk (poisonous to anyone infected), she can coat a bit on her weapons just by running her bloodied thumb/finger on it. Preferably sharp weapons work best.

- Open to new ideas on devices and tools if they can help with her survival. Example, the ascenders from the Junction. Plus only way to keep up with Freakazoid.

- Uses methods and tools that’s meant to distract enemies or lure them to a location. Examples: loud devices, fire alarms, her taunting.

Next up, Freakazoid (aka Kyle Crane as Sentient Day Hunter/Volatile).

And oh boy this is a long list. I might have given Jack more work as his teammate than I anticipated... Oh well. I’ll nerf him later.

Also, I took some liberty to base his infected passive and active abilities on the Night Hunter. With inspiration on other games’ abilities cough.

Power

- He still has the standard moves, windmill, drop kick, etc. Plus some Hunter moves like Arial Ground Pound, leapfrog, etc. In a way, he fights like his old self with new tricks as an Sentient infected. A super soldier

- Pick claws or fists anywhere, anytime. Claws swipe faster, dealing damage faster than punches but of course, punches hit harder.

- Has tendrils like a Hunter so can grapple an enemy (anything weaker than a volatile) to bring them right to him so that he can smash their head to the ground. Can also pull himself to an enemy (anything stronger than a Viral/Biter/Common) and literally kick them.

- He has a blade bone on his right and now a bone-spike gun on his left. That doesn't mean they're more effective than normal weapons or that he can't use weapons - they just serve as being convenient. He can use weapons but they break faster than normal human Crane would (which means future craftsmen gotta make him weapons suitable for his strength. Note to self, make that for side quests)

- With his infected side, can get a defense and power boost like Jack's second wind ability

- Charge into a large group like a bulldozer, stunning his enemies (edited)

Agility

- Also has the same agility moves as his old self, but with some new tricks as well.

- Can wall run, wall latch, wall climb far better than Aiden. Talons sharp enough to latch on a wall longer than Aiden can stay in the air.

- With tendril locomotion, can dart around fast but still hindered with turns/rotations like the Night Hunter. Escape is also more convenient by tendril. He can yeet himself out of combat.

- Faster health regen than his old self at night, slower in day. All thanks to his infected side.

- Instantly leaps onto an opponent like a Night Hunter but rather than sinking teeth down, he snaps the neck

Survivor

- He has some of his old skills, minus his haggle/talk for the time being. Jack helps him with that until he finds people not too freaked out by him. You know, because of his new body situation?

- Still can do throwing stars - because why wouldn't you want an infected throwing shuriken like Genji?

- Has the infrared eyesight of an infected where he can see human enemies behind walls. This can be switched on and off game-mechanic-wise and isn't effective in daylight.

- Not just with camouflage, can land critical stealth skills after being cloaked or in darkness.

- UV resistance/block duration increase down his skill tree.

Infected - this is a new branch on Crane’s skill tree I made as a category, special thanks to Ender for the idea. Since there are some things like mutations, his telepathic way of communication, and skills/abilities that don’t fit with the other three categories entirely (even though the above, it’s a harmonic mixture between his old and new self)

- Pretty much higher defense (iron skin), higher attack (claws), faster regen, better scenes (can track infected/human easy like a bloodhound)

- Howls, can inflict fear into humans and staggers enemies. Good with clearing space against groups

- With his mutations, he can be undying in combat (final passive skill in the tree). This gets reset back to normal until the next fight. He can also give this to his infected allies, namely Jack (concept in the works btw, may not be included), a sorta telepathic link to them to prevent them from dying.

- Tempted to give passive ability that he can feast on infected to regain back some health, considering the kind of person in the past to eat anything he grabs in the middle of an outbreak. Jack will most likely stop him on that. Or not. She can't completely control this beast.

-- Below are skills not lockable on the tree but gained after defeating a rare type of enemy; Sentient Volatiles.

- Invisibility - his first infected skill he starts with. Can go invisible as long as he has stamina to burn. Helps with his crit stealth kills. Uninfected human enemies can still see him however.

- Rage - Lets out the beast from within, as long as he has stamina to burn.

- Doppelganger - second infected skill, gained after defeating another sentient Volatile like him. Creates a shadow to distract enemies off him (similar to Mother's fight with her clones)

- Other newer skills he'll obtain after defeating three other Sentient Volatiles, in the works currently.

and a sidenote from story; he has this territory bubble where his presence makes infected not want to come to him. So his presence helps safezones be warded off from troubling infected. Didn't know if should have been under infected branch

And that’s it.

God this post is so long...

#hope you like this X'D #dying light #dying light headcanons #ramblings from a mad writer #dying light game #skill trees #kyle crane #mad jack #oc #Freakazoid #dying light headcanon #sentient volatile #i really need to nerf Crane...or buff Jack to keep up sheez

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thornheartcat · 2 years

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Thoughts on Life Is Strange: True Colors

Well, it’s been a year and I’ve let my thoughts marinate or whatever... let’s talk about True Colors. Obvs major spoilers for TC and the rest of the series below the cut.

I decided to make a post about my thoughts on the game since I have a lot of them and I did something similar for BtS. The good news here is that some of my issues were absolutely addressed. The bad news is others weren’t and there are other problems here. I wanna be real clear though, TC is, I would say, overall, a good game. I think it’s a hell of a lot better than BtS. But it simply didn’t hit me the way LiS1 and 2 did, and reading all the overwhelmingly positive reviews I felt like I was high or we hadn’t played the same game, so let’s look at some points and try to figure out why, yeah?

Let’s start with actual issues.

I feel like the first thing about the game that really jumps out is just how similar it is to the first game in structure. The most obvious similarities are how episode 4 has us return to a previously visited location which has been redecorated for a party and then ends with someone getting shot by the surprise true villain who seemed like a mostly nice guy until now, and a large chunk of episode 5 is taken up by a surreal dream sequence (though the first game’s beats TC’s in surrealness). It’s very noticeable, and indeed one of my biggest worries after seeing the reveal trailer was that this game might go a bit backwards and try to stick too close to the first game, and those fears were at least somewhat founded.

I feel like I didn’t really spend enough time with anyone, especially Ryan and Steph. I think they should have been there for more pivotal scenes, and I’m kinda surprised they weren’t? Like, as an example, imagine a version of the scene where you get pulled into the station where Ryan and Steph are with you, and maybe Pike steps out of the room for a second after asking you to sign the thing, to give you all a chance to think and talk it over or whatever, and then Ryan and Steph are on opposite sides of the decision, like maybe Ryan wants to sign the thing because he’s worried about his dad and friends and job or whatever but Steph is more determined not to give in to Typhon cause she has way less to lose and they both kinda give the pros of their side and cons of the other and then you have to make your choice? I don’t know if it’s like realistic or whatever but it’s just an example and I think that would’ve really worked and I would’ve liked some scenes like that, in that vein at least. It feels more Life Is Strange-y, having someone to bounce such decisions off of like Chloe, or at least right there whose attention you have to take into account, like Daniel.

More time should have been spent on the investigation, and less on the LARP. It was cute or whatever but it just went ON and ON and took up like the ENTIRE EPISODE and I just wanted to tell Ethan to go play normal, not-cringe pretend by himself so I could go to like, the local library or city hall or something and INVESTIGATE TYPHON! It sounds like Alex and at least one of the love interests might have done something like this offscreen, but then that begs the question, why was it offscreen??? And before anyone suggests it’s because “that would be boring”, it wasn’t boring when we broke into the principal’s office in episode 3 of the first game and snooped through literally everyone’s files and shit, was it? I didn’t think so at least!

This also would have involved visiting new locations, and this game SORELY needed them. For all the devs talked about the game being and feeling more open than ever, I felt SO CLAUSTROPHOBIC being stuck on that ONE STREET. It made the town feel so tiny, and not in a good way, but in a “this feels like a set” way, like a “it belongs on the Warner Bros. backlot next to Stars Hollow” way. And like, how am I supposed to care about this town if I only see one block of it and actually interact with approximately 10 people total? And bringing up 2 here would obviously be cheating since every episode took place somewhere different and thus required new environments, but even every episode of the first game introduced at least one entirely new environment, while in this game you’ve visited almost all of them (outside of the dream sequence stuff) by the time you complete episode 2! It’s disappointing!

It’s also particularly disappointing we never get to see anyone else’s (especially Steph’s and Ryan’s) places. Inspecting character bedrooms and living spaces has always been something I love about these games, because the environmental storytelling is top notch: you can learn a lot about a character from their decor and whatnot, and I feel like it was a serious missed opportunity.

Speaking of the love interests: Steph and Ryan get equal focus and you go equally far with them, fixing problems with the previous games (Chloe is naturally more narratively relevant than Warren so the game is very skewed towards you picking her, and you can’t go as far with Finn as you can with Cassidy, and while the story and character reasons for this are understandable, it still left many disappointed). The problem is that... it kinda feels like it shouldn’t be this way? Because Ryan ultimately seems he should be way more important than Steph! Ryan has lived in Haven for his whole life and has stronger roots here, his dad turns out to be the villain, and he was the one who was there when Gabe died! While Steph is just kinda... here. She was close with Gabe, and sets up the LARP, but, if you don’t romance her, that’s really it. And this sucks, cause like, in theory I WANTED equal focus on the love interests this time around, but they still ended up with one who’s more connected to the actual plot... and yet, Wavelengths also throws a wrench into this as Steph gets a character arc there that can make her route feel more thematically relevant... but only after you’ve played the DLC and beat the game already. And ideally, I shouldn’t have to choose between plot relevance and thematic relevance. They should both matter.

And to a certain extent you could argue they’re both equally worthless, after all Ryan doesn’t really do anything after episode 2 that isn’t also with Alex and Steph so... they’re both just sorta here. Neither of them really does anything. I mean they support Alex and shit, and help her steal the USB, but at the same time they’re not there for tons of important moments, and ultimately feel like they’re just here to be romanced more than anything else, and that kinda sucks. Like, if I wanted to play a dating sim, I’d play a dating sim. I have like 30 on Steam right now, like over 50 on my wishlist, and a few for Switch for good measure. I’m not lacking in options.

They’re also both sorta... boring. Like, neither of them have very strong flaws. The biggest one I can think of for either of them is that Steph is kind of flighty, and that she’s kind of a bummer to be around in the first week and a half of October, but that’s all really laid out in Wavelengths more than the game proper. Ryan has no clear flaws at all, and no, being able to not side with you at the end over his DAD is not a fucking flaw, it’s like, one of the most human things about him frankly. It kinda feels like they were worried about giving them flaws, like they thought if they gave Ryan any no one would like him because, if fan response to Warren is any indication, even a nice but mildly cringey straight guy is unacceptable, and if they gave Steph any flaws, it might look like they were saying something bad about lesbians or something? I dunno, I can’t claim to know any motives here, it could just be lame writing, but they both just feel so... safe. Like the rest of the game.

I felt like the whole “taking emotions away” thing was both underused, and confused as a concept. Like, there’s only two times in the whole game you can do it, so that’s kind of disappointing, like, it’s such an interesting idea so it’s a shame you don’t get to see more of it. And then there’s the confused message of it all. With Charlotte’s anger, if you take it, it’s almost certainly because you’re worried about her and want to help: Alex explicitly worries that her anger will lead to her hurting herself or someone else, and she doesn’t want that to happen because she cares about Charlotte. But if you take it, the consequences are literally only negative: Charlotte feels weird and empty inside, and doesn’t side with you at the council in the end, and her emotions come back out on Alex’s end later when she blows up at Steph and Ryan for no reason, upsetting them and making them leave. On the flipside, there’s Pike’s fear. If you take that, it’s because you don’t want to give up on investigating Typhon, and want to manipulate Pike into being on your side and ignoring the law (which Alex has indeed very much broken). But there are literally no negative consequences for doing so: Pike lets you go, sides with you at the council meeting, and while the fear comes back out for Alex as a panic attack, she’s alone and gets over it in like, a minute. So, taking someone’s emotions because you want to help them and are concerned for their safety (entirely selfless reasons) is bad, but taking them so you personally don’t get in legal trouble (entirely selfish reasons) is... good? This feels so weird and wrong. I feel like if they had just added one or two more instances where you could do this they could’ve both made it more interesting of a mechanic and avoided this weird message of “how dare you interfere with other people’s emotions instead of just letting them work through their feelings but also go ahead and do so if it will make your life and your life alone easier personally”.

Relatedly, I feel like there were a lot of decisions where there were pretty clear-cut correct answers. Like, it’s correct to not take Charlotte’s anger because doing so helps no one and nothing in any way, and it’s correct to take Pike’s fear because doing so hurts no one and nothing in any way. Or where it didn’t matter either way, like whether you tell Gabe about Ethan or not. Ultimately about the only decision I had any internal debate over was whether or not to tell Riley about Eleanor’s Alzheimer’s, and even then it sort of feels like there’s ultimately a correct answer, because if you don’t, Eleanor supports you at the council meeting. (Plus, once COVID hits next year, Riley will probably have to move home and take classes virtually anyways.) I always liked how 1 and 2 had such tough choices, how basically every decision had pros and cons in some way, and it was disappointing to see that wasn’t really ever the case again here.

So easily one of the biggest problems with the story is Alex’s dad. Gabe came to Haven in the first place to look for their dad, which, okay, makes sense. But the problem is that this is information obtained from looking at stuff that’s totally optional: there are deadass people who missed that Gabe came here looking for him because they missed the objects that explained that, and thus thought it was a pretty fucking wild coincidence that all the Chens just happened to come here. And considering the big final twist that he died in the mine collapse, THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN UNMISSABLE INFORMATION. I’m sorry to say it, but THIS IS OBJECTIVELY BAD WRITING. There was never any focus put on Alex’s dad until the dream sequence in episode 5, right before the reveal, so us being supposed to care about him comes straight out of nowhere, even if you did learn what little you could about him before that point! I was like, “oh right, her dad, or whatever...” This is the kind of shit that screenwriters use the rule of threes for: setup, reminder, payoff. You establish the dad thing earlier in a way that cannot be missed (maybe have Alex and Gabe actually discuss him briefly before Gabe bites it), remind us in a way that cannot be missed (maybe have [the player as] Alex do some digging into his whereabouts herself while digging into Gabe’s death as well), and then boom, the reveal. LIS2 actually provides a great contrast here: in episode 1, when you’re getting stuff for the party, Sean looks at a box of Karen’s stuff and thinks to himself that Dad should get rid of it, she’s never coming back and he needs to accept it rather than continue to hold out hope. Boom, we have established that Karen is alive but gone, Sean is bitter, and Dad’s not quite over it. Episode 2, you have to go into Karen’s old room to proceed and learn a bunch more about her in the process, and learn that she’s aware of the boys’ situation and wants to help if she can. She also comes up in non-optional conversations in episode 3. So when she finally shows up in episode 4, while it’s still a surprise, it’s not completely out of nowhere and it’s impossible to like, not know who she is and what her deal is and where she’s been and shit. The game FORCES YOU to know this information. TC needed shit like this.

Far from the first to say it but Alex’s powers are inconsistent af. After the fight with Mac she never really has any meltdowns quite the same way and it’s mad disappointing, like she mastered her powers all of a sudden. It’s hard to drive home the idea that Alex is afraid of her powers and their effect on her when we only see it once and then she has like no problems afterward. Also, there are times where it feels like she should be more affected than she is, like at Gabe’s wake. Shouldn’t all that sadness be overwhelming her? Funerals/wakes/memorials/etc. are fuckin SAD all by themselves and being surrounded by that many people who are that sad should be totally messing with her but it doesn’t...

I mentioned earlier that the love interests were kinda bland and that applies to the rest of the cast too tbh. Tell me one thing about Riley other than “likes computers”, “has a shitty boyfriend”, and “loves her grandma”. You can’t.

Except Duckie, actually. Duckie was not bland, Duckie was delightful. I wanted more Duckies.

Mac and Eleanor in particular also kinda disappeared after episode 2. If you at least helped Mac with his anxiety attack he shows up and you have a polite if strained conversation at the party in episode 4 and then he never shows up again, while Eleanor is at the party but doesn’t do anything and then is only important in the council vote at the end. It was a shame cause I felt like more could’ve been done with both of them.

So, speaking of the endings:

So we all know the endings are all kinda underwhelming and short. But also, some of them don’t make sense? Like, I played and romanced Ryan, so when the final choice was like “stay or go”, I was like, what? When was going ever really on the table? It felt like it had never even been discussed! We only ever talked about what would happen if I stayed! And then it turns out if you romance Steph, she talks about where she wants to go with you, so being given the option to stay with her also feels weird! Shouldn’t it be like, if you romance Ryan you stay in Haven with him and find the nice stable life you always wanted, and if you romance Steph you leave Haven and embrace the unknown and shit? It felt weird to be given that choice given those contexts.

It also feels weird that leaving is presented as like, Alex chasing her dreams or whatever, when Alex has at no point demonstrated any particular dreams or ambitions of any kind, let alone musically. Her love of music in general felt very “informed trait”, very “tell not show”.

Part of the moral at the end is like, Alex needs to stop trying to take on everyone else’s problems and focus on herself sometimes, to let herself feel and not force herself to be strong. So, shouldn’t there have been like, a scene where maybe Alex cries into Ryan/Steph’s arms and lets herself break down and be vulnerable after everything that’s happened, to show she took ghost/dream!Gabe’s advice to heart? Like, what’s the point of pointing that out if you’re not gonna actually show any resolution to it?

I feel like backloading all the flashbacks into the last episode was a mistake. I think it would’ve had more weight if say, episodes 2-4 had each started with a flashback, and then in episode 5 we had the “no, how it REALLY happened” thing. It would’ve had a lot more weight if we had spent a little while thinking this was how things had actually gone down.

Unfortunately I feel like everything near and around the mines kinda radiates some sorta stupidity rays, because I got a lotta issues with them.

So, how did Ethan get all the way out to the mines on foot? We leave in a car at sunset and when we get there the sun is totally down, it seems like it’s actually a bit far for a child to walk to on foot.

Why couldn’t the explosions be postponed? I mean, the answer we’re given is “because there was a second explosion” but like... why couldn’t that one be postponed too? Like, there’s actually an easy answer here: the secret explosion was timed and didn’t have a person monitoring it like the public one... but why isn’t that clearly stated?

So, common complaint 1: How the fuck did Jed miss Alex at point blank range? That was fucking bullshit. And frankly, him shooting her in the first place was stupid: just push her into the hole! The fall alone should be enough to kill her! And if, by chance, they did eventually find her body, isn’t it better for it to NOT have an obvious gunshot wound, so people could just be like, “oh I guess she fell in the dark what a tragic accident”?

Common complaint 2: How the fuck did Alex survive the fall? Especially with her glasses PERFECTLY INTACT? In general that scene felt like they were really just trying to copy the awesome shocking ending of episode 4 of season 1 but like, they kinda went too far with it and made it a little too over the top so when Alex didn’t die it kinda felt like a giant asspull.

Common complaint 3: How did Alex get out of the mine? I thought the explosions they did that killed Gabe were meant to ensure that no one could get into the mine and find the miners’ bodies, so how did Alex get out? Did they just do a shit job of it, so Gabe EXTRA died for nothing???

Common complaint 4: Alex is out of the hospital and seemingly totally fine and off crutches after only two days????????????????? WHAT??????????????????????????????

How did Typhon cover up all those deaths? Even if we assume Typhon was hiring for this job with like undocumented workers and people who wouldn’t be missed in mind, that’s still like, insanely sus, and kinda farfetched, and it would still be completely impossible to completely cover up the deaths. Mining is a heavily regulated industry for good fucking reason, and accidents are investigated thoroughly by the federal government, especially in a uranium mine where they’d have the Department of Labor AND the Department of Energy on their ass. It’s very hard to believe they would be able to cover that up in the face of that level of scrutiny.

Am I the only one who thought the coverup was actually going to be that like, Typhon’s mining practices had been unsafe and the miners had been exposed to radiation and it was leeching into the groundwater or whatever? Like, it’s explicitly mentioned that they were mining for uranium, but that fact was never relevant. Why? Feels like that would be a lot easier to cover up. Maybe have Alex’s dad turn out to have died of cancer, but it turns out he only got the cancer because of the poor safety, and that’s the big twist??? I dunno but it felt like a weird detail to bring up and then have not be relevant.

The idea that three people in their early 20s, two of whom are queer and one of whom is a woman of color, would try to take the USB to the police is ludicrous. Like Ryan is one thing but in what world would Steph or Alex in particular not immediately assume the cops have been bought off? Just send that shit to Wikileaks, get shit done faster! I mean, when Pike brought Alex in like “this is crimes” and she was all surprised Pikachu about it, it just had me like

Music. Previous games used music really well at pivotal moments, but this game relegates most of its music to optional moments of calm. This is pretty transparently to appease streamers, who get copyright claimed if they let the copyrighted music play, and so even though there’s a streamer mode that turns it off, clearly they wanted to be sure they wouldn’t be missing out on much. But that’s a shame, because there’s a lot of moments in this game that would probably be a lot more memorable if they’d had the right song playing over them.

The game needed more Hawt Dawg Man and Power Bear. This IS an objective flaw and I will not hear arguments to the contrary.

There is no way to pet Valkyrie, even in Wavelengths!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS ALSO OBJECTIVELY BAD. LET ME PET THE KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here we have problems that aren’t necessarily problems in the objective, but that are just like, my opinion, man

Haven Springs is very pretty... a little too pretty even! Like, so picturesque and quaint it felt fake and forced, and not even really in a “this image will be subverted and the contrast between the town’s dark secrets and perfect appearance will be jarring” way? Like even in the reveal trailer I was like “There is not a single small town anywhere in America that looks like this.” And before anyone says anything, yes, I have seen the video where they talked about the inspiration for Haven, but even what they show doesn’t look like Haven in that way. Like, nowhere has that fucking flower-covered bridge! And what’s really weird is that what we can see beyond the main street looks way more normal, so I was like, why can’t I go over there and appreciate the true American small town experience of crushing poverty, shuttered businesses, and only one grocery store for 50 miles? The first game gave me that vibe! The first game was like “almost every building in this town was constructed sometime between 1945 and 1995 and is either a boring generic ‘place of business’ box or a sad tiny cookie cutter house unless your name is Prescott” and I was like “Yeah, exactly, America!”

Ethan being alone often enough to go out to the mines and explore and draw those comics and shit... Is that really realistic? I mean I can only speak for myself and my own experiences growing up in NYC (very different from Haven Springs) but even though I live in a mad nice neighborhood when I was his age I was only allowed to go around the corner to school in the morning by myself, or MAYBE down like 2 or 3 blocks to a friend’s place! It wasn’t until I was in middle school that I was really allowed out on my own or that my mom felt totally comfortable leaving me and my sister alone for a few hours. Maybe small towns like this are different? Please tell me if they are!

Why isn’t Steph from Haven? Like, when she showed up in the reveal trailer I was like “oh, this must be her hometown, because why else would she be in this nowhere-ass place?” Like, I had assumed she wasn’t actually from Arcadia Bay in BtS on account of she owns a shirt that literally says Arcadia Bay, which is deeply tourist/transplant behavior IMO (I’m from NYC but you don’t see me walking around in an I❤️NY shirt, you know?) and we see her loitering outside the dorms in episode 2. I feel like it could’ve been interesting if she was from Haven, like, she’s had to move home because that’s how things are in the capitalist nightmare-scape that is this country, reconnecting with her old pal Ryan, maybe that makes Alex feel even more like an interloper since they go way back... I know someone will say “yeah but her mom needs to have died in the storm” but like I dunno it’s bad enough knowing other people you knew and were close to (like say your best friend’s brother) died. I dunno, this one is probably just me though.

Speaking of Steph, her playing drums and LARPing both felt like they kinda came outta nowhere. I mean, in BtS, she was interested in theater tech and D&D, which aren’t UNrelated, but a) being behind the scenes of a performance and being in the performance are two very different things, and b) LARPing is so much more tragically nerdy than D&D is and they are not anywhere near equivalent. You have to be SEVERAL magnitudes more of a loser to LARP than to just play D&D, and this was never suggested in BtS. Like, damn, they really kicked my girl down to the bottom of the nerd hierarchy.

Also encouraging Ethan to LARP feels like child abuse. He is almost in MIDDLE SCHOOL and you are encouraging him to continue playing pretend right when all his peers are about to decide that they Are Grownups Now™ and are Too Old To “Play”™ because It’s Called “Hanging Out” Now™ and start mercilessly mocking him? Positively cruel, this kid is going to have no friends and be miserable. (this is a joke, but he IS going to get bullied to shit and no one else is helping)

I was honestly kind of more interested in Alex’s time in foster care and group homes and shit than I was in the actual events of the game. Like, there’s an interesting fucking setting that is rarely explored in media and is rife with drama and potential for social commentary, so why aren’t we there instead? Kind of a shame to bring all that up but then never explore it in any real depth or detail.

Speaking of that time, in both LiS1 and 2 we see the inciting incident that like, activates or awakens the powers. Here, we don’t. And while that’s fine, I think having a protagonist who’s had them for a while is fine, it’s a shame we never hear what the actual inciting incident was. 1 and 2 seemed pretty clear that the powers were awakened by an extremely sudden and extremely significant trauma, but we don’t ever hear about any particular incident in Alex’s past (which is almost entirely wall-to-wall trauma, also meaning none would really stand out) that did it. Just kind of a shame, I was curious as to when and why she got them but we never found out.

Also speaking of foster care, in the dream sequence you can see a list of meds on the wall, and ignoring the slightly overused “person with superpowers is given psychotropic meds because doctors just don’t get it!” trope with Alex, we can also see that one of the girls in the group home represented there is trans and is taking hormones. This is cool, and I hate to be that person, but... that struck me as deeply unrealistic? I couldn’t help but think of this ABC Family/Freeform show my sister used to watch called The Fosters, about a family that was named the Fosters but also WAS a foster family. There was this storyline where Callie, one of the foster kids, ended up in this girls’ group home run by Rosie O’Donnell, and one of the people in this home was actually a trans guy, who had been placed there by the state with no regard for his identity. This obviously caused tension with the girls in the house, some of whom were transphobic to him, and Rosie O’Donnell kept having to fight the system to get him placed in a group home for queer youth that was better equipped to support him and his needs, and it was way harder to do than it should’ve been. So it felt a little weird in True Colors to see this group home listing a trans girl’s hormones on the med list, like, is the Oregon state government really willing to pay for hormones for trans teens in foster care? They SHOULD, but WOULD they? I don’t think so.

In general I think the game could’ve gone harder on the whole ACAB thing, kind of a letdown after LiS2 went in particularly hard on it.

I think there should’ve been more side characters, particularly named side characters that you could have conversations with, rather than just eavesdrop on. One thing I think would have been a positive thing to bring back from the first game is the minor characters like Max’s classmates and some of the recurring townspeople. Like, the guy who lost his dog has a name on the fake Facebook/Nextdoor app thing, but he’s never named in the subtitles and I don’t remember him or what he looked like, but I remember random characters from the first game like Stella and Justin. It feels like a real wasted opportunity, like, we could’ve had Alex really integrate herself into the community and form her own relationships with more people around her rather than just taking Gabe’s place in his social circle.

A lot of minor aesthetic choices bothered me: the logo is bland and boring, as is the in-game text. Previous games had logos that told you something about the story and characters (the Polaroid and sketchy look in the first game’s logo reflecting Max’s hobby and journal, the marker look and anarchy A in BtS reflecting Chloe’s punk attitude, and the embroidery and patch in 2 reflecting Sean’s backpack and travel) but True Colors’ is just... nothing. LiS1 and BtS had their own font, and LiS2 and Captain Spirit did as well, but True Colors just has... boring normal font. The menu music for journals and stuff in previous games was memorable and calming but True Colors doesn’t have any. The game’s title screen never changes, while all previous games had it change every episode. Some of this can almost certainly be chalked up to COVID but not all, and it’s still disappointing.

Is it bad that I thought Alex singing Creep was kinda cringe LOL like it’s just SO basic you know? Like what are you gonna play next, Wonderwall?

Bonus Wavelengths gripe!

Steph has a bowl of pride-themed buttons, still with some Chloe made in there. It’s clear which ones Chloe made: the black and white DIY-aesthetic ones that say PRIDE WAS A RIOT and BE GAY DO CRIMES. Which are extremely Chloe’s style and I love that, but... at the time Chloe would’ve made those buttons, “pride was a riot” was not really part of the discourse yet and “be gay do crimes” wasn’t a meme. I know, because I’ve been on this godforsaken website for over a decade, and I am the same age as Chloe. So I can’t help but notice these things.

Alright that’s enough bitching. I did still overall enjoy the game so let’s say some nice things before I go.

The graphics are beautiful. While I’m still a little miffed at them moving the dial a little closer to realism, it’s a beautiful game. The facial animation in particular really is stellar and the team at Deck Nine should be proud.

The music that was there was gorgeous, Angus & Julia Stone are fantastic as usual and their original compositions absolutely shone, I simply wish they had been used more outside of mood music for chill slideshows of the scenery. mxmtoon also did great work and I loved her original songs!

The way the game tackles grief clearly resonated with a lot of people, and I love that. I particularly loved the examination of Charlotte’s anger: how she knows it’s not anyone’s fault, and yet... she can’t help but blame them. Her emotions don’t stop just because she logically knows they’re wrong. That felt super real.

I liked using my powers to do little good deeds for the people around town. Again, I wish those minor characters had been fleshed out more, but I did like what was there!

Episode 1 did a great job of establishing Gabe and making you like and care about him before he bites it. I just wish the trailers hadn’t spoiled that, because it would’ve been a hell of a twist, and I and a lot of others probably would have been more invested in him rather than looking at our watches like “okay he’s great but when’s he going?”

Look when many of my biggest problems with a game can be summed up as “I liked this but I feel like it could’ve been explored more” I think that’s generally a good thing LOL

Wavelengths was decent and I think it was particularly good when you consider the quarantine constraints it was largely made under.

So yeah. Those are my thoughts on TC. Finally, it is out of my system. I give it a 6/10, big step up from BtS (3/10 if I’m generous), very interested to see what Deck Nine does next, and what’s next for the franchise.

So yeah, peace out til next time dorks.

#life is strange #life is strange true colors #life is strange: true colors #listc

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