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faeryarchives · 3 months

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when your hopeless streamer gets a girlfriend (ace trappola x f!reader)

summary: the rising streamer ace trappola has always been teased by his friends and fans about his failed relationships - that is until one certain stream where each and everyone of them were proven wrong.

note: ok i had this idea at 1 in the morning i was like 'hmmm what if we make a streamer series for twst?' and its just full of fluff and crack like no magic au + everyone is just normal

recent fics: happy birthday (malleus x reader) & so what are we? & in sickness and in health

it was around saturday midnight when everyone should be asleep, but ace trappola decided it was a good time to stream a horror game out of all possible games he could play with his friends. they all started as friends before starting the game but i fear he might have none after the stream.

"crabby, where are you~?" the sound of floyd humming through the mic sent shivers down the boy's back as he tried hiding from the hunter. "it's so funny to see floyd just have this tunnel vision to kill ace." jamil's smooth voice rang out, obviously amuse how the scene was unfolding.

"oh flooooyd! ace is hiding in the house with the telephone!"

"i hate all of you, after this game i am blocking everyone!" seeing him become the victim in the game and everyone turning on against him, his fans flood the live stream chat with laughing emojis and 'take the l'.

"ace, become a good bait while we fix the car." he heard ruggie and deuce laugh at his misery before their characters ran opposite his direction.

"okay who is the one that said floyd should be the hunter this round? hey, hey, hey! stop chasing after me- am i the only player in this game?! epel is right here!" in an act of desperation, ace tried to hide behind epel's character instead but only to receive massive damage when the attack hit him instead.

"eh... but guppy-chan isn't even trying to run away, which is boring!"

"wait, really?" he then stopped running. ace turned to face the hunter's character, trying to see if floyd would actually kill him, only to notice something wrong a little too late. "heh, gotcha," ace screamed into his mic, watching his character gets stuck in the tree and meet his demise as floyd split him into half literally. the words 'you died' appeared on the streamer's screen.

gloomurai: wow you are so great in this game 🤣

"i see you idia-senpai! it's not my fault they all turned against me!"

wani-sama🔧: it's your karma for selling them out to ruggie last game

"yeah, yeah... well, i'm always the last one to get caught, so this can be pretty relaxing." the streamer smirked as he watched from deuce's point of view where he is currently lost in the woods.

"i get to watch them die but knowing floyd he might quit mid-game." to used to being the first one out, ace sighed, switching from one point of view to another. bored ou of his mind, he looked at the corner of his screen, ace looked at the comments curiously as they try suggesting things.

muscle-red: why don't you do a q and a while waiting then?

"question and answer? don't you guys basically know me already?" ace looked at the screen intently, contemplating whether he should do it.

"fucking viper i swear!" suddenly someone joined the call causing ace to jump in surprised, only to realize it was ruggie.

"how did you die?"

"jamil betrayed me because we thought it was a four-seater car. it turns out it was only two!" hearing this, ace turned to jamil's point of view and snickered about how he and epel got chased by the sneaky eel. "welcome to the dead club."

as if he could imagine his senior rolling his eyes at his words, he smirked smugly - karma does bite back hard. "hardy har... what were you doing? i heard something about a question and answer?"

"chat wants me to have another q and a portion, what more do i have to tell you guys?"

cowabunga: how is the search for your beloved mwishxr: there is no use in asking that

"search for my beloved? hey!"

"shishishi! even your viewers are against you!"

it's a running joke in ace's community on how he was immediately dump by his ex girlfriend one week after dating. it wasn't like he wanted to share the story - he shared it as a batsu game after losing a round of uno. usually, when asked about his search for a girlfriend, ace would get all red and try to defend himself from the single until he became old allegations.

but today was surprising because not only did he not become all flustered and defensive - ace trappola looked smug even as he leaned his head into his palm and laughed.

"hmm, i wonder about that?" from behind, ace could hear approaching footsteps stopping next to him, and the live stream chat went wild and even ruggie who was looking at ace's stream right now watched with wide eyes as someone who was wearing the streamer's well-known sweater stood beside him.

"what the fuck?!"

gloomurai: ?!?!? muscle-red: what is with the sudden plot twist wani-sama🔧: WAIT wani-sama🔧: IS THAT-?!

"heya (nickname)~" ace hummed, turning his gaming chair facing your direction, his arms wrapping themselves around your waist as he grinned at you ever so cheekily. "you're late!"

"what are you five? i don't even know why you want me to come over." you rolled your eyes, trying to push him away playfully, only to run your fingers through his hair and chuckle.

seeing him lazily smiling at you causes you to succumb to your urge to pinch his cheeks - hard, making ace cry out in pain. before you could even ask another question, you saw something flash at the corner of your eye causing you to look at his monitor - realizing that he is still streaming. while holding onto you. and he not even on mute!

"this is all your plan, wasn't..." holding his face in your hands, ace could only laugh and nod, his hand quickly pulling you down, making you sit on his lap as he proudly present you to everyone. "as you can see, i am not hopeless anymore!"

wani-sama🔧: WHAT ARE YOU DOING SIS?!

"how is it possible i could hear sebek through the screen..." you sigh, leaning your back on ace and waved at the camera so casually as if the chat and ruggie weren't surprised at all.

"i just want to say to chat that ace didn't have my family in hostage." with you hand wrapped around his, you put up up and showed it to the camera. "and he is stuck with me."

hearing at just what you said made everyone in the chat go insane erupting into numerous emoji and something with the lines of 'oh my god he is not lying!' or just exclamation but nothing beats the reaction of your friends.

"(name) you settled for a guy like him?!" you could hear ruggie's surprised voice through your boyfriend's headset and honestly, you were contemplating if you would agree or just laugh it off.

"what can i say? sometimes, idiots have their charms."

jamil-viper: i can't believe you got (name) of all people... deuce-spade: oh thank god i don't have to keep it a secret anymore. wani-sama🔧: YOU KNEW?! epel-felmier: i think that's the effect of not our gc !!

the stream goes on with ace finally having his bragging rights and the twitter stans going crazy about the sudden girlfriend reveal. oh well, karma does hit back hard doesn't it?

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #twst imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #ace trappola x reader #ace trappola #twst ace #faeryarchives #a.heartslabyul

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mochinomnoms · 5 days

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Funfacts about PTM Characters!

Still chilling out from finishing my thesis, but I had a few fun facts about the side characters for PTM that I'd thought you'd all enjoy in the meantime! It's gonna include some of the canon characters as well as the ocs!

This includes some very minor, but not story defining, spoilers for PTM so proceed with caution! As a reminder, PTM takes place a school year after the current timeline!

Canon Characters:

Jade and Floyd made bets on who would get together with their crush first during their 3rd year. The loser has to let the winner(s) plan and execute the most humiliating way to confess. Neither twin is winning. Azul is currently winning with his bet of “neither of you will, you cowards.”

Ortho went to most of Idia's classes during his time at NRC, so he was allowed to “skip” repeating those years when becoming an official student by taking a competency exam. However, he is still staying for a year since the test only allows for core classes and not his electives. He's happy to do so, though.

Idia stayed at NRC to complete his internship with the school, much to his disappointment. He works as a Technomage Intern with the college's technology department.

The overblot cast got closer with each other and Yuu than expected over the summer due to Crowley and S.T.Y.X. requiring them to take part in a “summer camp” to monitor them and their health. Leona still hates Malleus though. Malleus is still mostly unaware of this.

Malleus still does not know how to use technology. Sebek and Yuu have a weekly call with him via a looking glass mirror that acts like a video call. Malleus enjoys it very much.

Kalim switched places with Jamil and is now vice housewarden, while Jamil is now housewarden. Neither's families were happy about this, but were shut down by Kalim being surprisingly firm about his decision. To everyone's surprise, Kalim does very well as a vice over a housewarden, though Scarabia has had significantly fewer parties since the switch.

Nearly all the clubs that had the 3rd years as captains/heads had one of the 2nd years take over into their 3rd year. Ruggie is now Spelldrive Captain, Azul is head of the Board Game Club, and the Gargoyle Studies Club is headed by Yuu. The Pop Music Club is also more formalized now, with Kalim as the head. The Science Club and Film Studies have an NPC 3rd year as heads.

Yuu isn't actually that bad at singing as everyone has (and will continue to do so) suggested. Most of the student body had classical training growing up as part of their privileged upbringing, and Yuu has to compete with that.

At least two pairs of canon characters will get together at the end! Guess who tehe.

OC:

Silas likes to eat bugs and regularly digs in the dirt behind Ramshackle to find something crunchy to munch. They did it once in front of Jamil and the poor guy screamed in horror.

Yev became the new Pomefiore housewarden due to being able to produce the best posion, as per tradition. However, he's actually quite bad at being a housewarden and his vice is the one that everyone tends to listen to.

The Salson triplets are from the TWST equivalent of Salem, and have a North easterner accent, similar to Boston I think. Wynfred and Marion mimic English, or Rosarian, accents, but Silas does not.

There are two more mermen in the school, minus the canon cast and two ocs. They aren't important to the story, but their names are Mariano De La Reyes and Benji (last name still pending). They're based off of Marina and Benjamin from the third Little Mermaid movie.

Speaking of mermen, Aspen is a squidmer and is based on the colossal squid. He's about 18 ft long and still growing. Tony is based on a tiger shark, but is the runt of his litter, hence why he's so small.

Tommy, the white rabbit beastmen that was introduced as Riddle's new vice, is notorious for always running late. He never has actually been late to anything due to parkouring everywhere and climbing the castle walls to enter the classrooms through the windows. Floyd learned how to parkour from him. Riddle hates everything about this.

Briefly mentioned in the last chapter was the botany professor, Kallpa. Kallpa is based on Kronk and the uncle of Yev.

Nurse Goethel has a wife and two daughters that she brings with her to family days on campus. The daughters are roughly age 11 and 13 and each time they've come have designated a student as the new person they want to marry. Two years ago it was Leona and Trey, last year it was Azul and Jamil, this year it's Jack and Ortho. There is no reasoning behind their decision, it's all based on vibes.

James has met Jade and Floyd when they were all very young. James was on his Great Aunt's ship, who was meeting with Papa Leech for unknown reasons. James only remembers them due to their heterochromia eyes, but the twins don't remember anything.

Marion has a really strong sense of smell that is on par with the beastmen. He hates Pomefiore because the dorm and students are heavily perfumed and it gives him a migraine.

Yaqub actually has a twin brother that goes to RSA. He thinks it's funny that it turned out that way and they like to shittalk their schools together on the weekends. RSA is much more chaotic and full of troublemakers than NRC realizes.

At least two pairs of the freshmen will get together at the end of PTM, but it will be a surprise as to who!

And that's all! I have more but I think I'll save them for another time!

#mochi rambles #twst #twisted wonderland #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #I dont wanna flood the tags so i wont tag all the characters mentioned #ptm

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verysium · 5 months

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blu lock top artists on Spotify??? i need your thoughts on it

anon you had me pulling up my spotify playlists and browsing through the entirety of genius.com for three hours straight. i'm going to tweak this prompt a little bit and include specific songs that best represent them since it's easier for me to explain that way.

RIN

the fanon answer for this is chase atlantic. while their songs do encapsulate parts of his personality (mostly the edgy teenager and disillusioned youth persona), i feel like this choice does not do his full character justice.

the canon answer for this is king gnu, more specifically the song "prayer x." i can picture this since rin seems like the type to enjoy alternative rock/indie, but the fact that it's the ending theme to banana fish is what gets to me. like...do you see yourself in ash or something? i hope you don't cus it doesn't end well. that anime had me bawling my eyes out for months, and i still can't think about it without breaking down again.

furthermore, the lyrics and music video to this song are very cryptic and borderline nihilistic. for example, "hiding behind this nonchalant smile" and "my life's spark will wink out of existence." i feel like this speaks volumes about rin's mental health and internal thought process. he obviously does not process his emotions normally and instead represses them. he also struggles with the idea of finding a purpose in what is otherwise a cyclical routine with no end. he's worried and, quite frankly, afraid that if he ever stops pursuing his dream, everything will come crumbling down, and he will have to face all the demons he's avoided for so long. the main theme here is that he cannot face his reality (the fact that sae's dream is not his own.) so he does everything in order to escape this fact even if it ultimately destroys him.

from my own playlists, i'd assign him the following songs/artists:

"beautiful boy" by john lennon

this is a love letter to baby rin. i feel like he would've enjoyed this song as either a lullaby or something he listened to on car rides to the beach during summer vacations. he probably still listens to this when it's raining outside or he's had a bad day. reminds him of his childhood and the good parts of it.

"the love club" by lorde

this is something pre-teen rin listened to. the irony is spot-on, and i feel like the lyrics would be relevant during a time when he was going through his rebellious phase and fully fleshing out his place in society. in this instance, the club would metaphorically be wherever his brother is at, whether that's the guys sae meets in spain or the group of football players considered "top-notch" in japan. everything is about finding a place in this club/clique in an effort to become free and differentiate himself from others. the only problem is that rin ironically loses his freedom because he tries so hard to be among the best. he signs his life away in pursuit of a dream, and it's something that now defines him.

"the only problem i got with the club / is how you're severed from the people / who watched you grow up"

this lyric in particular could apply to either one of the itoshi brothers. it's one of the caveats that comes with fame. you gain everything, but you lose everything before that. both of the itoshis likely experienced some amount of separation from their loved ones, including each other. also lorde's vocals are beautiful as always, so there's no reason not to include this song.

"howlin' 404" by DEAN

the production for this song is on point. the intro has a segment from a 1930s american horror radio program which is fitting because rin canonically watches horror movies. i think this song is something rin might listen to during cold autumns or midnights when he just can't sleep.

lyrically, there is the motif of a time loop which is also present in "prayer x." rin's character itself just has this connection with the raw grittiness of existentialism and this idea of repeating days without purpose. (in fact, he would make a great psychological thriller lead.) rin is also a control freak. if he lets one loose end go, it will unravel the entire thing. that matches up with the idea of "killing me softly." rin would rather prolong his pain than have it ripped from him all at once and leave him with nothing. i find this in a lot of people in real life too. even if your trauma wasn't good for you, it sometimes becomes the only thing you truly own. it's like that one quote from bojack horseman. "if i don't, that means that all the damage i got isn't good damage, it's just damage." rin feels like he has something to prove, and if he fails, all his suffering would've been for nothing.

"moonchild" by RM

i may be a bit biased since i love the mono mixtape, and i've written a rin fic about celestial bodies, but....this song just fits him. there's also a remarkable similarity with the lyrics of the previous songs i've listed. i'm just going to list a few:

"smiling in endless pain / you know / there's no freedom when you say freedom out loud"

one thing i love about RM is that he doesn't shy away from character flaws. he writes songs specifically for those who are always picked last, who aren't remarkable in any way, who feel weighed down by their normality. he gives them their spotlight and due diligence. for example, the entirety of the chorus is a repeat of "moonchild, you shine." i find this interesting since it's usually the sun that shines. but the sun is already sae, and rin is relegated to being the moon. yet even though the moon doesn't have its own light (it merely reflects the sun), it still shines bright in the darkness. rin doesn't know it yet, but he himself is a big role model for others such as isagi, his fans, and people just like him. so yeah....i'd take this song as a message of hope for future rin.

SAE

the fanon answer is lana del rey, and i would agree to a certain extent. under the right circumstances, he could become one of those dreamy, emotionally stunted, and tired men you guys all lust over. if y/n ever wrote a romantic song about him, it would be either "west coast" (for the spanish influences) or "art deco" (for the vibes.)

the headcanon answer is nothing. i don't think he listens to music much. even if he did, it would be probably classical/instrumental or just white noise for his long flights. i imagine him listening to erik satie's "gymnopédie no. 3" on a train ride or something.

from my own playlists, i'm going to give him these songs/artists:

"remind me" by röyksopp

i don't know how to explain this, but this song gives a bittersweet sense of nostalgia. think early 2000s when the TV footage was still grainy and had retro graphics. you're carrying around your mini mp3 player whilst wandering through the airport and wondering how the hell you even ended up there. that's the general ambience of this song.

lyrically, the song also matches well with sae. i'm going to give you a few examples:

"it's only been a week / the rush of being home in rapid fading"

again, this is a tribute to the disconnection sae feels from his home. he goes everywhere, but he belongs nowhere. when he finally returns to japan, he finds himself missing spain. when he's in madrid, he thinks about the ocean back in kamakura. there never is a place that truly fills that gaping hole in his chest. i also feel like sae experiences FOMO on a whole other level. he constantly feels like something is wrong/missing and he's not doing enough.

"brave men tell the truth / the wise man's tools are analogies and puzzles"

the idea here is that though sae is blunt with his words, he is a coward with his intentions/true feelings. he can brutally call out someone without hesitation, but to actually reveal his own truths and motives? he'd rather shrivel up in a hole and die. this is especially applicable to love. to him, a wise man is someone who doesn't open his heart up easily. instead, he hints at his feelings, and whether or not you can figure that out is on you. sae hates it when others play games with him. it's where his hypocrisy lies. he demands straightforward honesty from others, but he himself will unintentionally play games with you if it means he can hide himself behind his walls.

"a woman holds her tongue / knowing silence will speak for her"

this is the closest you guys are ever going to get to sae itoshi's ideal type. he loves people who don't need to say something for him to believe it. they just get it. your silence is automatically enough for him to know that you love him. similarly, you don't even need to speak a word to understand what he's feeling.

"night shift" by lucy dacus

this song is sae if he was that one ex-boyfriend who really fucked you up emotionally, and you never got over him even though you said you did. now that i think about it, the story could be told from either POV. this could be sae trying to erase you from his mind, or it could also be you post-breakup.

"you've got a 9 to 5 / so i'll take the night shift / and i'll never see you again / if i can help it"

i know this one lyric caused controversy all over tiktok, so i'm going to add my own interpretation. at face value, this is exactly what it says it is. sae doesn't want to see you again, nor do you. he's willing to go out of his way just to avoid you, and truthfully he would. when sae finds himself in trouble, he doesn't look for something new to fix him. instead, he cuts everything off and subtracts anything that is deadweight. if you're out of his life, then you're out of his life. he's not coming back for you (or at least that's what he says to convince himself). same thing with rin. he knows he hurt rin, but he's not going to go back and try to make it right. he's going to move on and try to justify his actions every step of the way. one day, rin will move on too, and then sae would have been right all along. (unfortunately, that is not the way things work, but that's a lesson for another time.)

the alternative interpretation is that y/n is the other woman. this could be literal as in sae already has someone else in his life, and he only sees you at night. you're only ever going to be the night shift. it could also be metaphorical as in you're merely a distraction in the grand scheme of things. you're the mistress, but football is his wife if that makes sense. his career will always take precedence.

"you get me so high" by the neighborhood

this song is all the words sae wished he said to rin but never did. it made me cry because everything would have been so different if they had just set aside their pride and truthfully sought each other out.

"hope you don't regret it / i pushed a lot back but i can't forget it"

repressing feelings seems to be a recurring issue with the itoshi brothers. like....maybe if i just push it out of sight, it will also go out of mind. and at its core, this all stems from fear. fear of facing the consequences, the hypotheticals, the terrifying realization that you did something you regret and there really is no turning back from it. but realistically, if you think about it, a lot of this is the byproduct of overthinking. sometimes the situation isn't as complicated as we might make it out to be. sometimes an apology doesn't fix everything, but it's a proposition to be something more, an attempt at a solution. but sae and rin are so blindsided by their own internal turmoil that they cannot see this.

"for a long time i took it all for granted / i really thought we had it / but at the time it was more than i could manage"

ah....the "taking for granted" part. i could ramble on about that for hours. i think it really is some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy that we never miss something until it's gone. and in a way, it's not something that we can always control. the value you assign to a person/object when you have it is going to be fundamentally different from the value you assign to it when it's no longer in your grasp. that's how scarcity works. something with a limited supply is always going to be worth more. the vice versa works as well. you might yearn after something but then throw it away the moment you finally have it and grow tired of it. this sort of dilemma that comes with appreciation is so common i really wouldn't blame the itoshi brothers for what they did. it is immensely difficult to know when you're going to lose something or when you need to let it go. and sometimes it's hard to be constantly grateful for what you have because many of us are wired to want something more. tbh that's what makes the itoshis relatable.

"if we can leave it all behind us / and meet in between"

now sae would never say this unless he himself had actually reflected on what happened and fully processed it. but maybe in the future, they could set aside their differences and reach out to each other. (this is how i cope)

"but i just had to let you know / i never meant to hurt you, though / i had all my motives / i didn't know they wouldn't mix with your emotions / i just had to reach my goals / never knew i'd meet you though"

that's the thing with personal ambition. sometimes you get so caught up in yourself, you forget all about others. and this isn't really selfishness, or at least intentional selfishness. it just sort of happened that way. you never meant to hurt them, but you still somehow did.

"we should stick together / you're my best friend / i'll love you forever"

yeah....this line was the one that did it for me. something about the dysfunctional sibling dynamic just eats away at my insides. like....i could've loved you, we could've been so much together, but why aren't we? what we have isn't hate, but it isn't the love i know and crave either.

"we could be the greatest / it doesn't matter if we're never rich or famous"

ok but if rin ever heard this leave sae's lips, i think all of his trauma would just be magically healed. he just wants his brother to see him. like fully see him and love him. but alas, what is blue lock without angst, am i right?

"love in the dark" by adele

now i don't think sae would ever listen to adele, but the lyrics are just too fitting. i was going to write a fic on this, but it's going to have to ferment a bit in the drafts for now. basically this is the entire rin/sae traumatic scene but as a melodramatic torch song with adele's heavenly vocals.

"take your eyes off of me so i can leave / i'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me"

um...this is literally sae's internal monologue??? i feel like letting go of things is something both the itoshi brothers struggle with. their lives are constantly pulling them in different directions, and eventually they become numb to it all. they don't form any strong attachment to anything besides football because that's the one thing that won't change for them. in a way, this is necessary for their character development (in the sense that they need to discern for themselves what to keep and what to let go), but it also destroys any sense of belonging they might have (hence why they feel lonely.)

"don't try to change my mind / i'm being cruel to be kind"

sae would definitely say this. like word for word. if only he wasn't a vague dumbass with no communication skills.

"i can't love you in the dark / it feels like we're oceans apart"

this is literally their dynamic in one lyric. there is the physical distance, and then there's the emotional distance.

"we're not the only ones, / i don't regret a thing / every word i've said, / you know i'll always mean"

this sort of reminds me when sae said that the world is huge, and there's so many players way better than him out there. i think spain really gave him a reality check, and he grew angry at rin when rin couldn't understand his disillusionment.

"everything changed me / and i don't think you can save me"

adele sort of echoes this softly at the end of the song. i feel like sae would do that too. he wouldn't admit his own insecurities until the very end, and only then does the truth come out.

"i'll sleep when i'm older" by bruno major

this is sae when he's older and fully mature, preferably after he meets you. he finally decides to damn it all and do what he wants.

"conversations with elders and the wisdom they bring ... / the view from an aeroplane at twelve thousand feet"

sae views things that previously annoyed him in a new light. he used to hate his elders, but he visited you and your mother once, and something changed within him. now he calls his parents more often, and his eyes linger on the old couples near the park benches. sometimes, his gaze softens just a bit when he imagines the two of you growing old just like them.

flights used to be a mundane part of his routine, but now he finds himself leaning over your window seat to see the mountains down below. the clouds and sunny weather set him aglow. and you just look so pretty when you fall asleep on his shoulder. he doesn't ever want this change.

"meet god on a mountain top along with the stars / find love somewhere, anywhere / fall deep from the start"

sae used to avoid love, but now he's running at it full-force. people tend to shy away from making sae a romantic because it seems too ooc. however, in the right situation, i think sae could entirely abandon his previous ideals and become someone else entirely. (that's why it's called a character evolution guys.)

"misplace my mind and follow my heart"

again, if you're able to make sae lose all rationality and let his heart guide him instead, then you've really done something. kudos to you for penetrating the walls of the coldest asshole known to mankind.

"i'll be a firework, not a flickering flame / treat life all around me like a one-player game"

this one lyric applies both to younger and older sae. younger sae is someone unafraid of risking it all if it means he can achieve something worthwhile. it doesn't matter how many players he has to defeat, how many people he has to leave behind. in this world, it is just him and the goal he has to accomplish.

however, after he's mellowed out after a few years (i'd say around middle age), he probably reinterprets this as something else. he's not going to constrain himself to his tunnel vision anymore. there's so much more to life than that.

"i'll go to the party and forget all the names / should it climb back to haunt me, / it ends all the same"

sae finally lets himself live the life he never thought he'd have. he does stupid things like get drunk and make a fool of himself. but you're there for him, so he doesn't really care. in fact, he can finally say that for the first time in a long time....he's having fun.

KAISER

the fanon answer is the weeknd. i'm not going to lie, i completely agree with this one. i saw this one edit of him to "party monster," and i can say i have been fully enlightened and converted. however, this is not just about a toxic male manipulator anthem. it's much more than that.

this is about running away from the ugliest parts of yourself, becoming a slave to your vices, knowing you're broken somewhere and you can never fix it. i would say his character is most similar to "starboy" in the fact that he literally flaunts everything he has to hide the fact that deep down inside, he really has nothing else to hold onto. "starboy" is all about the status symbol (money, red lamborghinis, glass table girls turning into ebony table girls lol). but at the end of the day, he doesn't really have anything except an empty heart and a satirical quip for all those who made him famous. the same theme applies to "the morning" and "house of balloons."

in the romantic sense, i think "don't break my heart" would represent kaiser. and no, this is not a justification for him being an f-boy. it's more so an exploration of why people might think he is an f-boy. i do not condone his actions, but i do try to understand them. in particular, i feel like the lyrics of "sacrifice" also fit him well.

"i was born in a city / where the winter nights don't ever sleep / so this life's always with me / the ice inside my veins will never bleed"

i headcanon kaiser as being born in either berlin or munich. and if you don't know anything about those two places, just know that you freeze your ass off during wintertime. i think it's interesting how his past could be intrinsically tied with a place, and he takes a piece of his past self with him wherever he goes. the ice in veins part also made me think about how kaiser would rather freeze up every weakness within himself than let them run free and make him human.

"every time you try to fix me / i know you'll never find that missing piece"

guys...did you hear that? to all you delusional people out there, this is your service announcement. you cannot fix someone who does not want to be fixed. write that down and memorize it. all meaningful change starts with a shift in mindset, and if they themselves are not in the right headspace to recognize that something is wrong and actively want to change, you're not going to get anywhere. so yeah....kaiser is not going to change unless HE starts doing the changing.

"i hold you through the toughest parts / when you feel like it's the end / 'cause life is still worth living"

i think this lyric sort of explores kaiser's dynamic with ness. on one front, he is the one picking ness up from his miserable past and instilling a sense of hope into him (intentionally or not.) but on another front, this could also be a problem. kaiser is almost forcefully optimistic in the way that he believes anything is possible. it has to be possible because there can be no other way. but the thing is.....you have to know your limits sometimes. blind optimism is, ironically, similar to cornering yourself.

"i can break you down and pick you up / and fuck like we are friends / but don't be catching feelings"

this is definitely the type of bullshit kaiser would spew. i could picture a fwb or situationship with him where y/n just constantly receives the short end of the stick. now this may be reaching, but i also feel like this is how kaiser projects his own trauma onto others. he himself clawed his way up to the top and put himself back together every time he fell down. the problem is that he also expects you to be that resilient. he's going to treat you badly because you're supposed to be like him: someone who can overcome everything and strive towards the impossible.

the headcanon answer to his top artist would be keshi. in particular, i think kaiser would fit the vibe of "2 soon" and "drunk." long story short, you finally broke up with him, and he's still reeling from the impact.

within my fics, i envision a dialogue between kaiser and y/n from each one of their perspectives. so based on that, i'm going to assign him the following songs/artists:

"gibson girl" by ethel cain

i know i said earlier that kaiser's character is not solely about toxic manipulation, but you have to understand that all bad habits originate from somewhere. kaiser is innately self-destructive, and he brings you down along with him. this song is about that but from y/n's perspective. there's this idea of trying to find agency in a situation where you have none. i don't have the word count to explain ethel cain lore in all of its naked glory, but all i can say is that this song is a banger and deals with themes like femininity as a performance, finding power in pain, religious motifs, etc.

"glory box" by portishead

this song is y/n's last plea to kaiser before they fully give up on him and leave. i'm also a sucker for anything that involves an exploration of gender dynamics and what it means to be a woman, and this song is riddled with it.

"suffocation" by crystal castles

this is kaiser post-isagi defeat (cue that one scene where he was trying to choke himself.) similar to sae, it's all or nothing with him. he suffers from this feeling of inferiority. everyone made him out to be this great figure of impossible dreams and legends, but look at him now. he's nothing. aren't you disappointed? he had you fooled, but he also fooled himself. so yeah....kaiser is definitely the most self-deprecating out of all of the boys at blue lock.

ISAGI

the fanon answer is laufey, and i also agree. he's so sweet, and laufey's music just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. he would also be that one love that came creeping up on you when you least expected it. "valentine" would be the song for that. i picture a reader who's had a series of unfortunate breakups and is right on the edge of giving up entirely. but then isagi comes along, and it's just so easy to love him. as easy as breathing. and then you think maybe it wasn't so bad after all. you just never found the right one until he came into your life. furthermore, isagi is a jazz pop princess, and you can't convince me otherwise.

the headcanon answer is IU. more specifically, i would say "troll" from her lilac album. i feel like even if you and isagi broke up, it would still be like you two never broke up at all. you're both on good terms, and even though you know it's counterproductive to keep cycling back to each other, you do it anyways. and it's okay because you're both still in love.

from my own playlists, i would assign the following songs/artists:

"winter bear" by v

this is my comfort song. it feels like those big sherpa blankets you tuck yourself under when you're lying next to the heater in winter. isagi would kiss your forehead and nuzzle your nose before you two drifted off to sleep.

"a boy named pluto" by hailey knox

this one is so romantic lol. i also like the dynamic where one party is afraid to love, but the other person loves them unconditionally. that would be isagi. he'd respect your decision and wait for you as long as you need it. but if you're ever ready to give him a chance, just know that he's going to treasure all of you.

"put your records on" by ritt momney

the inspiring thing about isagi is that he never lets anyone put him down. he takes rejection as redirection, failure as room for improvement. and in that way, i think this song encapsulates his resilience. he'd be such a good boyfriend not just romantically but in the way that he would literally pick you back up to your feet, dust you off, and make sure everything was alright.

"fairy of shampoo" by dosii

i picture isagi as someone who falls first and falls harder. he just loves you so much, and he doesn't even need a reason why. i saw somewhere that sometimes you don't love someone because they're your soulmate/twin flame/supernaturally fated other. you love them because you consciously made the decision to. isagi is like that. he loves you on purpose.

helppp why does this sound like an academic paper...i'm sorry anon. i got carried away with this, but i hope u like it.

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theprettynosferatu · 6 months

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Unit Commander John Heinlein was a simple man. Above all, he valued order. Order kept the world safe, functional, understandable. Everyone and everything had its proper place and proper role: like different organs in a body, they all contributed to the overall health of society as long as they did what they were supposed to do and didn’t get any stupid ideas. In that gigantic body, John Heinlen was a fist, and stupid ideas were what he punched into oblivion. Reality was simple, and if it wasn’t, the higher-ups pointed him to the complication and he pummeled it back into simplicity.

As usual, intelligence was spotty. Why exactly this club was a Stupid Idea, John did not know nor did he care. What the informant had revealed was something about women going against their conditioning, although they had not revealed how or why. It seemed patently ridiculous to John Heinlein. Conditioned women were happy, and they made their men happy. Simple, proper. Everything in its natural place. If Fulgrim’s was messing with that, it deserved to be squashed.

Looking at the rest of the Unit, he felt sending them was perhaps a waste of resources. If the informant was correct, they would be facing women and whatever deviants might be attending off-hours, if any; but it was not his call to make, and he liked it that way. His purpose was to punch, not to decide who deserved to be punched.

The six men stood in front of the gaudy purple door. As much as he wanted to kick the door down and be done with it, John played it by the book. He made the signal to place the breaching device and got into the correct position, ingrained in him by hundreds of hours of training. Still, no matter how many times the device blasted the door open, John always felt underwhelmed. Part of him seemed to expect a big thunderous sound, instead of the measured, barely audible “pop” designed not to alert the criminals.

Like a perfect machine, they went in, weapons ready. They were all running on autopilot, relying on their modified genetics and exhaustive drilling. It took only a few seconds for them to reach the same, obvious conclusion. No threats present. Instead, two women stood by the door, as if expecting them. John felt a deep revulsion, something primal stirring within him. It was wrong.

The women weren’t blonde. They weren’t smiling. They didn’t seem pleasant, or demure, or bubbly. In fact, they looked like wolves on the prowl. One had blood-red hair, a leather corset, fishnet stockings and boots that ended in the sort of spiked heels that could kill a man. The other was, to John Heinlein, even worse. She seemed shy, wearing a short skirt and trying to cover up… but her eyes spoke of a deep hunger, a devious intelligence and a depraved longing he couldn’t quite place.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here!” said the redhead with mock gratitude. “You see, I’ve been trying to train this sweet little creature right here…” she added as her hand went under the other girl’s skirt. “But I’m afraid she needs a bit of… male guidance. A strong hand to show her the way”

John frowned. There was something strange in the air. A subtle smell he couldn’t fully detect. As he turned to ask his comrades about it, he noticed Johnson shifting his weight slightly. It was a small thing, but utterly out of place for a man of their training. And he could tell the women saw it too. Slowly, seductively the redhead walked toward Johnson, leading the other girl by her wrist. It was surreal, unsettling. But they couldn’t just open fire on females.

“Johnson, step away from the females, now!”, barked Commander Heinlein.

For the first time in his illustrious career, the Commander’s order went unheeded. He watched in horror as the petite woman placed a slender hand on the soldier’s chest and, with a look designed to melt hearts and break down barriers at the same time, pouted like a mischievous child.

“Please, Sir. I’ve been bad. So, so bad… Won’t you teach me? I’m a very good learner… if I’m put in my place”

Meanwhile, the woman in the spiked heels had gone around Johnson, and whispered in his ear as her hand caressed his perfectly sculpted abs and kept moving downwards…

“She can be so good… we both can be so good… but are you man enough to show us you can handle us? Tame us? Mold us into your perfect good girls?”

Johnson was breathing heavily, paralyzed by a million conflicting impulses. He had a job to do. He was a soldier. He was…

And just then, he broke. Johnson grabbed the smaller woman by the neck, and in a swift movement turned her around and bent her over. He couldn’t see the devilish smile on her face, but John Henlein sure did. There was victory in that lustful look, a triumph only magnified when, cock hard as metal, Johnson railed her from behind as hard as he possibly could, his mind gone in a frenzy of half-formed sentences and grunts, the redhead woman rubbing her pussy as she now shouted encouragement.

“Do it! Pound that little slut! Show her what she really is! Fucking break her like the stupid fuckdoll she dresses as! Punish that pussy with your cock! Make her scream for me… make her beg! Make. Her. Yours!”

“Johnson!”, shouted Heinlein in vain. The soldier was gone, and all that remained was a beast, a bundle of muscles determined to conquer the females before it, to claim them and mark them as his. And worse, whoever was behind it all remained unseen, deeper inside the club.

“Fuck! Everyone else! On me! We press on!”

“What about Johnson?”, asked a rookie soldier by the name of Phillips.

“We lost him! Now, move!”

They stormed the place, kicking down doors- no time to play it straight, as much as it pained Unit Commander John Heinlein, for whom standard procedure was akin to a biblical dogma. With every hallway they crossed, every room they breached, the air seemed to get heavier, denser somehow. Sweeter, perhaps.

They entered a room covered in black velvet. It caused a strange effect, almost as if the walls themselves devoured the light. And there, sitting in the middle of the room, long legs crossed, was another female. Like the ones before, she didn’t look like the blonde, obedient women that had undergone the mandatory conditioning. Horror gripped Heinlein. This person went against every conceivable notion of what a woman should be. Clad in a leather corset and thigh-high boots, she stared the five soldiers down with a look of disgust and clear disapproval. Even the sight of their guns was to her just another gauche shortcoming, one in a very long list of inadequacies clamored without words by her deep, green eyes.

“Did I say you could come in?”, she asked.

The question was ridiculous. They were Soldiers. They didn’t ask, they acted. And yet, two of Heinlein’s men started moving their heads, something between shaking off a creeping mental fog and answering the woman’s question. No, she had not said they could come in.

“Get on the ground, and-” started barking Heinlein before the woman cut him off.

“No. it’s not your turn to speak. You don’t talk unless I tell you to, is that clear?”

Unit Commander Heinlein froze. Her tone, firm, in total control, was something he recognized very well. For a moment he was a raw recruit again, undergoing basic training. A part of him, a part of all Soldiers knew to obey that sort of utterance, that confident command. It was part of the crucial training that made any warrior more than a brawler. It was the core of discipline. He knew, at that moment, they were all in grave danger.

“Now, that sort of rude entrance needs to be punished. You all know it, don’t you my toys? But I’ll be kind…ish. How about you start by being a pack of good dogs and kneel?”

Heinlein felt his legs almost give in. He managed to stay on his feet… barely. He watched as most of his squad went on their knees, their eyes wide, fixed on that beautiful woman, seeking every ounce of validation she could give them. Ready to obey.

“Crawl to me, pets”

They did. With a few words, she had made them love her. Adore her. Obey her. Their sense of duty twisted, molded, corrupted. And Heinlein felt himself wanting to join them, wanting so badly to be one of her favorite pets… no, her very favorite. The alpha of the pack. Perfect for her. Obedient for her.

It took a superhuman effort to turn away from her perfect silhouette, her beckoning curves, her voice of absolute command and dominion. The last thing he saw before sprinting away from that goddess of a woman was his once proud squad almost fighting like dogs for the privilege of kissing her heels. How he hated the fact that he wanted to join them…

He tried to push it all away as he ran through hallways, deeper into the club, down stairs, through room after room. Deeper and deeper… the air getting heavier and sweeter… his mind getting fuzzier…

How long did he run? How deep did he go? He couldn’t tell. Different themes passed him by like a blur, and he felt almost as if he was just running in place, the facility moving around him, assaulting him with perverted ideas, digesting him like some monstrous organism designed to destroy everything that was right and natural in the world… but he couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t. Stopping, he felt, would mean the end.

And then, he stopped.

The woman looked like no one he had ever seen. Every part of her seemed designed to short-circuit his understanding of reality, his very core, and he found himself frozen before her, his brain trying to catch up to what his eyes were seeing. She looked like something out of some strange, fae world: she wore her hair in dancing ponytails, one dyed blue, one pink. Her makeup was a striking mixture of neon colors punctuated by tiny drawn hearts scattered over a face that spoke at once of innocence and mischief. She had a single fishnet glove on, mismatched thigh-high socks, a pink and black nighty that hovered between dark and slutty and the most pure chastity… Even her eyes, he noticed, refused to follow any notion of order: one was a deep blue, while the other was an inhuman, alluring red. She was something he couldn’t comprehend, and yet couldn’t stop watching. She moved with a strange liquid freedom, as if gravity and anatomy were vague suggestions she very much didn’t intend to follow. And her smile… he couldn’t quite place what it was: it was joyful, yes, but also shy and yet it had a hint of a predator somewhere deep inside it…

“Oh, hi!” she chirped and bounced out of her purple sofa. “I was fingering myself!” she declared, almost with pride.

Unit Commander Heinlein found himself unable to respond. This… being was not a woman. Not as he understood them, at least. And yet he could feel something stirring inside, something he had forgotten about long, long ago…

“Who are you?”, she asked, her face becoming almost a caricature of confusion before snapping back into a jubilant smile. “I’m Alara! Nice to meet you!”

She ran to him. Normally such an action would call for tactical evasion, or a well-practiced takedown. Instead, Heinlein found himself frozen in place as the girl hugged him. She smelled sweet, like the air around them.

“Are you okay, dude?”, she asked with a look of genuine concern.

“I… this establishment has been deemed… unsuitable and against the… proper conditioning of females… get on the ground, and…”

“Ooooh, the ground? I can go to the ground for you, Daddy! Or do you prefer Sir? Or Joe? You know what? Joe it is! Is your name Joe? You look like a Joe to me. So, the ground! Ass up? Or maybe on my back, legs open? Which one do you want, Joe?”

Heinlein, whose first name was most certainly not Joe, watched as the girl seemed to flow from one pose to another: one second she was on all fours, looking over her shoulder with an inviting smile; the next she was on her back, legs open, her eyes shocked like a virgin about to feel a man inside her for the very first time… then she bounced back to her feet and pouted.

“Come on, Joe, make up your mind! Or do you want me to take charge? Wait! I should have it… here!”. The girl beamed, brandishing a gigantic, double-sided dildo. “Want me to use this on you, Joe? Come on, give me a little something to work with here!”

“Please stay still. Do you understand the situation? You have been… altered. You’re not a normal…”

“Normal? Normal?! Joe, how boring are you? Seriously, how many times can you fuck a blonde big-titty bimbo before it gets so fucking samey? Fuck ‘normal’, Joe! Let your freaky self out to play for once!”

“I do not have a freaky self”

Alara tripped on her own legs and landed sprawled on the carpeted ground before shooting Heinlein a look that might as well have been directed at a two-headed alien, before turning into an expression of pure, profound pity.

“Oh, Joe… of course you do! We all have our freaky sides… don’t think for a second they’ve drilled yours completely dead. It’s there… I can feel it. And so can you, can’t you? Growing inside you. Getting stronger. Don’t you get tired of following orders? Of everything being always in the same place? Of loving the same woman? The world isn’t like that, Joe! People aren’t like that! We are insane, contradictory, fucking twisted messes… and that’s perfect! Come on, Joe… don’t you ever think about doing… the wrong thing?”

Her words dripped inside his head like honey, so much so that he didn’t notice her approaching him, rubbing him through his pants as she playfully made him so confused, so mixed up, so fuzzy and…

“Mmmm… tell me Joe… what’s that thing you’d like to do, that wrong, wrong thing you dream of in the dark, swearing to yourself you’ll never say a word of it?”

“Non-regulation shoes”

His mouth had spoken before his brain had even registered it.

“Oh, don’t like the uniform shoes?”, she teased.

“Uncomfortable”, he mumbled.

“So… why don’t you take them off?”

“On mission. Tactical shoes. Reinforced. Useful”

“Are you going to tactically kick me, Joe? Of course not! No one would kick pretty little me… well, unless I asked… but not with those shoes! Who’s gonna know, Joe? No one’s gonna spank you for letting your feet out for a bit! So… take them off!”

“Can’t. On a mission”

“Oh, for fuck’s- come here, you big dummy”

Alara lunged for his shoes, and made a big show of pulling with all her might. Heinlein watched her, entranced.

“A little help here, Joe? These fucking things are tighter than your ass! I mean, I’m just guessing there”

He moved as if in a dream. He released the lock on one boot, then the other. Alara flew back, boot in hand, before jumping up, holding the black boot in the air like a trophy.

“Victory! Look, Joe! You have one boot off and the world hasn’t ended!”

It was true. He looked down at his feet. He had gone against standard procedure. In fact, he had flat-out broken a strict, simple rule. No one was screaming at him. Nothing bad had happened. If anything, he was overcome by childish elation. Suddenly, his world had shifted. Rules were words. Only that. No more solid than millions of other words spoken every single day.

“Sooooo? How do you feel, you rebel?”

“It’s… good”

Alara smiled and bent over.

“I’m guessing there’s a rule against using a suspect as a living fleshlight, isn’t there? A rule against pounding pussy when on a mission? A rule against using little me as your own personal, depraved fuckdoll?”

“There are many such rules”

“And how do you feel about them now?”

“I don’t give a fuck”

Her screams of ecstasy echoes through the entire club. She pushed him further, and he only growled and, for once, did exactly as he pleased. Alara could only cum, and cum again in victory. Every act was a testament to her triumph. He used her throat, not caring if she gagged, if she choked. He slapped her face and she laughed. He spit on her mouth, grabbed her neck, took her tight asshole. He came once deep inside her, but it wasn’t enough. Alara knew the aphrodisiac in the air gave some… special endurance as well, and she intended to see exactly how long they could go.

By the end her clothes had been ripped off her, her tits were covered in cum, her pussy pumped full three times, her ass abused, her buttocks red with spankings, her makeup ruined. And by the end, he had become anything but a Soldier.

The following day a meeting was called at the highest levels of the government. An elite unit had gone into Fulgrim’s, never to return.

They would have to take drastic measures if they hoped to contain the corruption now growing in their city.

Did you enjoy this story? You can support my work at patreon.com/prettynosferatu

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pandoratheprocrasticreator · 10 months

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its been almost 6 years but i can never forget the way doki doki literature club's content warning, of all things, made me feel. going in i knew nothing about the game except that it was somehow a horror game. and based on the aesthetic i assumed it was a standard dating sim where some of the girls are like. serial killers or smth. edgy gore and all that.

well. the first thing i saw when opening the game was the content warning, with the grainy yellow background of the characters. and that gave me pause like "damn they're taking this content warning very seriously. wtf is in that game to garner that?" so for the ENTIRE FIRST ACT OF THE GAME i read every single line, ANTICIPATING for the other shoe to drop.

every time one of the girls started talking about something that was bothering them, i expected the game to jumpscare me by having them murder me or something. every time monika broke the fourth wall i expected her to jump out of the screen. but she DIDNT.

and i kept getting nervous for something to happen for the whole first act, and things kept NOT happening, that i thought, well, maybe the content warning is just about exploring the girls' mental health. maybe the game is going to start a trend of being meticulous with content warnings and good on them for that.

and hey! looks like after the school festival they'll start delving into sayori's experience with depression-

idk if it was intentional and maybe i just havent played enough games since then but i have NEVER seen another game use a goddamn CONTENT WARNING to build suspense as well as ddlc.

#shut up pandora #ddlc #doki doki literature club #if that was intentional on dan salvatos part then it worked #love it when a game gaslights me multiple times

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jacksprostate · 4 months

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Bob in female fight club au. Thoughts

Probably named Marge

Rather than doing a direct inversion (ie making the character the exact opposite, much tits -> no tits, etc) I think sort of an analogue would work better riffing off the motherly role Bob has, in combination with the group being for uterine cancer/ovarian cancer

The women come together, and they cry, cry, cry, over lost husbands, who left them because they got cancer, because overwhelmingly, men leave if their wife gets cancer, over lost relationships with children, who stayed but resent them, over lost Motherhood, that thing you were told was your worth but now you are told you're shit. Remaining Women Together. Despite. Despite despite despite.

What is it, about purposes. Want to see misery, see women fed their own physical oppression as lost salvation.

Marge, whatever her name is, her husband divorced her, left her with the kids and medical bills stacked as high as she is tall. She is thankful she still has her kids, it makes her feel like she's still worth something. She's had to try and get back into the workforce. No one wants to hire dear former stay at home mother Marge. She shows you her kids in her wallet in her purse and there are no pictures of her. There's a picture of her old husband, which she keeps to show her kids if they ask. They're old enough to go to school now, which is good, because it gives her more time to work. Life is hard, but she's doing her best.

Marge, who is on hormone therapy so she doesn't get those "side effects" she's heard about from other total hysterectomy patients, the future of early dementia and degeneration and horror. Who does pelvic floor exercises in hopes it will minimise the fallout of the surgery. Who carefully rips every hair out of her upper lip and chin because even if it would be normal for a woman, a woman whose gone through menopause, a woman at all — she knows, it's probably the estrogen tipping back over into testosterone, and she can't handle any more losses. She compensates. They all do.

The support group is her Me Time. It is the single hour plus half hour commute she can afford once a week for herself. So she gets here, and she cries, cries, cries, and the others cry with her, all over how their lives have fallen apart since they got ovarian cancer, got breast cancer, and their lives derailed because they can't be proper women anymore.

They cry in their waterproof makeup. Another product to promise womanhood. Identify yourself via consumption. Identify yourself by covering yourself up.

And when she finds fight club. When she finds something that says, jesus fuck. You are more than your children. You are more than your ability to have kids. You aren't a failed woman, that's a sack of shit you've been sold wholesale. When she finds something that promises her she will grow, achieve personhood, not because she was the ultimate martyr mother, not because she played the game of human or woman, but because it promises a freedom from all that, identification and repulsion of such sickening chains. When she stops worrying about her slightly deepened voice, and works to keep her dose even keel for her health, to avoid the toxic highs of accidentally juicing, rather than the lesser effects of a black lip hair or two. When she has a photo, not of herself in her wallet, but of the things she makes with other women from fight club, of the one view of the sunset from that one parking lot that she always thought was wonderful, when she has things in her wallet for her and her enjoyment. When she has corded muscle and a built up spine, when she sits her kids down and explains why they only see dad one weekend every other month, all the fun holidays, because dad decided staying with her through cancer was too hard even when she stayed with him through four lost jobs pissed away in alcohol and lottery tickets.

And Marge, who gets shot by the police on a regulation chill-and-drill assignment for Project Mayhem. Whose obituary in the newspaper talks about the children she left behind, how she battled cancer and kept caring for them, how she was such a strong mother, whose kids would now be shipped off to their grieving father who is so, so brave and stunning for standing up and taking care of the kids he made and dropped as soon as his live-in servant had a few issues. Her name is Marge Paulson, and she was forty-eight years old. She was a person. She will be remembered in the annals of Project Mayhem, lest what little there was of her be stolen from the world. She was killed by Project Mayhem, but they're the only ones who will remember Marge Paulson.

#fight club #female fight club au #like. it's about how the male castration being the worst thing that could happen to a man as per gendered ideals gets reflected here.#being very clear; the motherhood focus should seem as immensely disturbing and disproportionate. if not much more tbh. as how the guys are #because like. yeah the male focus on balls is immense but the pressure to consider your entire worth and personhood and status as a being a #your reproductive capacity is Insane for women. and i think that would be uhhh highly relevant in female fight club #both as the logical mirror to the castration/emasculation thing #and also because it's inextricable from any sort of feminism demanding a backbone #yadda yadda yadda #the end is also interesting #the death and the name thing just cant quite be the same #its still horrifying because the Project did kill her #but god. so many women die and no one fucking remembers them #just what they did as mothers or servants #so. her name is marge paulson. would be important.#this is very specific and dear 2 me.#its not about hating the kids or saying fuck them or anything either #its just. shes a person. womanhood is not some step below (man) personhood

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lakesbian · 6 months

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ok interlude 1. everyone loves interlude 1. fun things happening in interlude 1 i.e. meeting danny hebert and meeting scion also.

you guys remember seeing that one tumblr post thats like. [in response to experiment where bees read a fake bee on a stick as a real bee] stupid bees. falling for a fake bee on a stick being a real bee. and then someone else is like. i bet eldritch beings are like that about us. stupid humans. falling for fake humans on a stick being real humans. you guys know that post? anyway that's what this interlude makes me think of.

“The golden man would reappear several more times in the coming months and years. At some point, he donned clothing. At first, a sheet worn over one shoulder and pinned at either side of the waist, then more conventional clothes. In 1999, he donned the white bodysuit he still wears today. For more than a decade, we have wondered, where did our golden man get these things? Who was he in contact with?

^ stupid humans. mistaking a fake human on a stick for a real human. i love the horror of this interlude in retrospect. people assuming he's miraculously curing cancer as the world's most heroic original parahuman when he's actually the nigh-incomprehensible alien that's the cause of the pandemic and was healing the cancerous person because they were a host for a parasitic part of the alien's own body that had been implanted in them.

“His pace increased, perhaps because he was still learning what he could do, perhaps because he was getting a greater sense of where he was needed. By the middle of the 1990s, he was traveling from crisis to crisis, flying faster than the speed of sound. In fifteen years, he has not rested.

this seeming to everyone else like him intentionally increasing the effectiveness of his heroics when he's just. life on a scale one cannot comprehend experiencing a mental health crisis It cannot comprehend. and oblivious to the fact that the coping mechanism he's trying is not fucking working.

“Just five years after Scion’s first appearance, the superheroes emerged from the cover of rumor and secrecy to show themselves to the public. Though the villains followed soon after, it was the heroes who shattered any illusions of the parahumans being divine figures. In 1989, attempting to quell a riot over a basketball game in Michigan, the superhero known to the public as Vikare stepped in, only to be clubbed over the head. He died not long after of a brain embolism. Later, he would be revealed to be Andrew Hawke. “The golden age of the parahumans was thus short lived. They were not the deific figures they had appeared to be. Parahumans were, after all, people with powers, and people are flawed at their core. Government agencies took a firmer hand, and state-”

i love the implication that because scion was so obviously. Not Fucking Normal. people assumed the first parahumans to show themselves were also on some level deific or Above humanity. and eventually people did realize. oh these are just regular guys but with powers. leaving the mystery of why scion is Like That just kind of up in the air. you think that's ever uncomfortable for people? like it's normal, it's default, but if anyone ever thinks about it too hard while they're bored....it's weird, man.

anyway onto mr daniel hebert. i think it's really notable that his introduction is him watching tv about parahumans, then shutting it off and getting up to pace with this line being given:

It was three fifteen in the morning, and his daughter Taylor was not in her bedroom.

but then despite how this is Immediately preceded by a talk about how actually, capes are just normal guys, there's a conspicuously absent lack of danny...connecting that thought to taylor being out late. and, like, i explicitly do not think this is a flaw of danny at this point--there's no reason anyone would leap to assuming THEIR teenage family member that is just a normal person is secretly a cape bc they were out late once. but the juxtaposition btwn the tv program abt capes and his "huh. anyways" reaction is very much There and i think you can 100% view it as a start to a pattern of behavior he'll have where all common sense should lead him to taylor being a cape (just fucking. out adn about thriving post-leviathan randomly knowing shit about the s9 out there living an obvious double-life!) but he's just Completely Not Even Thinking About It. which is the same thing as the shit he does in this first interlude:

Danny thought about clearing his throat to let her know he was awake and available should she knock on his door, but decided against it. He was being cowardly, he thought, as if his clearing of his throat would give reality to his fears.

He was stopped by the smell of jam and toast. She had made a late night snack. It filled him with relief. He couldn’t imagine his daughter, after being mugged, tormented or humiliated, coming home to have toast with jam as a snack. Taylor was okay, or at least, okay enough to be left alone.

he keeps getting up in his own head where hes like. oh nooo i know shes being bullied but i cant do anything about it yelling at the school didnt work and i cant move her to arcadia. while being completely emotionally disengaged from taylor and also somehow managing to convince himself that they have some sort of trust/understanding from him Not Acknowledging It At All so its basically fine. he Genuinely believes that clearing his throat would magically inform her that hes awake and available if she wants to ask for help (as opposed to giving her a heart attack over being caught??) but can't even do that because he doesn't want to actually take the problems from like. a hypothetical he gets mad about in his head into a real life material thing hes supposed to support her thru. if he doesn't see it it can't hurt him. he's processing everything thru "well i guess shes okay enough to be left alone" while just wildly oblivious to the amount of pain shes in and he has genuinely convinced himself that he's doing the best thing of giving her the Dignity of suffering alone or whatever. convinced he's available to talk to and expecting her to come talk to him and increasingly mad she's not but not actually very obviously available to talk to. and it eventually boils over into taking away her autonomy to attempt Forcing her into talking! he has no conception of anything that isnt sitting there expecting her to do the work of emotional connection or going "you will emotionally connect with me. now. or else." this is just kind of a ramble because this will not be fun for me if i cleanly edit every single post into a masterpiece but im enjoying poasting my thoughts on a second go around hopefully theres something coherent i can crystallize

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 1 #worm spoilers #scarf don't look #parahumans

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eyeodyssey · 1 year

Photo

Photos from the elusive early-80s Tokyo Grand Guignol play Mercury, also known as Mercuro and Merbro. While the Tokyo Grand Guignol are more well known for their subsequent work in the original 1985 version of Lychee Light Club, Mercury was an ambitious debut effort that was as much Tetsuo: The Iron Man and Alien as it was Ranpo. In the two-act narrative, an unstable school teacher runs a health program where students volunteer to have their blood replaced with the outdated medicinal substance Merbromin. The Merbromin substance turns the students into sentient machines, with their organs being made “valuable” in how the doses of mercury turns their innards metallic. In the midst of all this, a mysterious transfer student infiltrates the school grounds to uncover the whereabouts of his missing sister. Plots ultimately intertwine, resulting in a nightmarish Oedipal bloodbath in a macabre science lab that’s riddled with many taboo secrets. The play contains several infamous special effects standouts. One of the centerpieces was an extended sequence at the beginning of the second act where the schoolmaster (performed by the now mainstream actor Kyusaku Shimada, originally working under the pseudonym Lovecraft Shimada) carries out a live vivisection on a student to surgically extract his pubescent urges, which had manifested as a chestburster. The screenplay is decorated with intricate surrealist details with characters speaking direct quotations from dadaist poets of the early Showa period, resulting in an experience that is as much nocturnal poetry as it is taboo horror. The play only had one run in 1984, with a heavily truncated TV performance being done a year later on the “Youth Performance Special” morning Nippon TV program where the set pieces from the openings of the first act and second act are strung side-by-side. While a full video recording is known to exist of the play on both DVD and VHS, the recording has never surfaced. It’s a damn shame.

The only available bits of media in relation to the play to this day are the screenplay, a handful of grayscale photos and some parts of the soundtrack. The known songs that were featured in Mercury include: 1. Four Enclosed Walls - Public Image LTD 2. Sons Of Pioneers - Japan 3. The title theme of the 1956 film “Des gens sans importance” 4. Brilliant Trees - David Sylvian Bits of media relating to Mercury’s short 1984 run are steadily being resurfaced every day. Two of the images in this post were digitized by yours truly. The source was the 28th volume of Yaso magazine, a volume that concerned underground theater which included and interview with Norimizu Ameya, the lead director of the Tokyo Grand Guignol.

#Suehiro Maruo #lychee light club #litchi hikari club #tokyo grand guignol #grand guignol

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small-sinclair · 6 months

Text

Headcons of Slasher Band!au (House of Wax)No One Asked For

By: @arkunder

Lester has a bag of Hot Cheetos by his drums. During the show when Bo is talking, he munches on them.

Jonesy comes out on stage sometimes. She is the official #1 Fan of the fan club. Out of them all, she has the most fanart along with the raccoon (see below out that).

If the stage has a cat-walk, Bo uses it to his advantage to flirt and drive girls crazy. He’ll kneel in front of a group, his hand touching someone else’s, and he’ll take her hand, kiss it, wink, and keep singing. He loves it.

They once bought Girl Scout cookies in the middle of the show.

Lester ordered food in the middle of the show and asked what the other two wanted. During break, they are cheese fries and burgers in front of fans.

Vincent likes looking at fanart. He’ll sign the signs and art if he has the chance. Sometimes, if the art is really good, he’ll buy it if the fan or get information from them (like kofi or something) and commission something.

When Bo is drunk, he starts singing “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”. They have an unofficial cover of that song.

Lester has little raccoon charm for luck. He also has the raccoon squashmellow sitting in front of the drums. The fans worship the squishmellow raccoon. There’s merch, fanart, tattoos— this raccoon has a grip on the fandom.

Vincent has a base that is clear and made from glass (which he made), and he has one that looks like wax melting.

Bo once stopped the show and had the lights turn on because there was a guy trying to force himself on a girl. It ended with Bo himself dragging that guy out and threw him in front of a moving car.

At the end of certain shows, the brothers go off stage and meet up where there’s no cameras or fans, no eyes or anything, and do a group hug. Lester in the center of the hug, Bo on the right, Vincent on the left, they do one big hug to celebrate their hard work.

Whenever Bo lets Lester sing, Bo lets him sing a sad/slow song. The crowd absolutely loves to hear him sing and will actually go silent to hear his hypnotic voice.

It’s not a kid-friendly show, however, if their is a kid in the front and one of the boys sees them, they’ll give a pick or drum sticks.

Before the show, they play a video/psa going over crowd safety. There’s this part:

Bo: Make sure you look for your nearest exit if there’s an emergency, you dumb fucks.

Lester: And, please, don’t fight people. It’s not nice and is a crime in every state. :D

Bo: Unless you fight me. Then it’s not a crime.

Vincent, signing: It��s still a crime.

✨Bonus✨

All the slasher bands have a week where they play at a venue. It’s called Seven Bloody Nights. During this, the bands raise money for children hospitals, homeless shelters, animal shelters, crisis relief programs, mental health services and community, cancer research— it’s a great event with horror and gore and music!

Going off that, the last night, all the bands play together and make a masterpiece BANGER of a song. They put aside their hatred for each other and drama to play something that Vincent, RZ!Michael, and Brahms wrote. Jonesy even puts help into with her paw print, the Approval Mark. Even the legendary Michael Myers (Grandpa Myers), the one who started this event in memory of his sister dying to cancer, plays with the bands!

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saintlethanavir · 8 months

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✨ Hey you! yes, you 🫵✨

✨Do you like getting monthly drawings of your blorbo?✨ Maybe some stickers in the mail? ✨How about your name in a game or even full early access to the whole process of said game?✨

✨Boy have I got a place for you! ✨

If you've read this far, hi! I'm Lev, local eldritch horror who draws silly little guys and I've got a deal for you! My husband @thecoffeerain and I run a patreon/Kofi where you can support our household and visual novel game just by giving £1 a month or more (if you are so inclined)

✨ The Fun Stuff ✨

Our Visual Novel in development is called Beyond Blood and it's all about supernatural creatures finding love in a small town + some vague apocalyptic events possibly. By becoming a member you can get full updates of the project all the way up to voting on characters and story elements, and get bonus content you won't see on social media!✨ You also get optional access to the equivalent patreon tier, if you'd like to see our non Beyond Blood content or even get more goodies!✨

(below is concept art for the game and only one lineup of many for Romance Options)

Beyond Blood Kofi✨

(click to view tiers in full res)

We also have a generic patreon filled with fanart, oc content, a sticker club, exclusive drawings, monthly requests, and voting on lots of different things! Even from just £1 you get access to sketches, full wips, early access to full illustrations, and voting on collabs between myself and Jack!

(ex. Of monthly sketches for patrons. On the left is Ellinor for @bitchesofostwick done by me and the right is an oc for @anonbea done by Jack!)

Patreon link ✨

(click for hi res! Here are the descriptions of the patreon tiers)

✨Not so fun stuff (why I will be queuing this every other post for a bit)✨

Both of us work grueling jobs that we are severely struggling with. We are both disabled, trans, and Neurodivergent. I work 8-9 hour days on my feet constantly to the point I've developed a need for a cane just to be able to get by. I'm also AUDHD and have begun to experience symptoms of severe burnout but I cannot stop working retail. Currently the NHS has decided I'm too high functioning/not bad enough to qualify for CBT or other therapies for my PTSD as well, despite the fact I've recently undergone traumatic events and have had multiple breakdowns. So if I want to treat these things I have to pay for it out of pocket and I cannot afford that.

My husband is in a job that has him constantly exhausted from early days and late night shifts, and the environment is not only discriminatory towards trans people but also to those with mental health issues. But again he can't leave his job.

Both of us are at our limit and we need something to change.

Anything helps, even just a reblog.

#artists on tumblr #queer artist #small artist #art #visual novel #interactive fiction #artist support #digital artist

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anatrik · 2 years

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First thoughts:

Lavender haze feels like Lover and Future Nostalgia’s incredible love child.

Maroon is about Harry. There’s too many 1989 references for it to be anything else. This chorus reached into my chest and punched me in my fucking heart. Also I need a compilation of Taylor saying fuck for mental health purposes

Anti hero is everything I expected it to be. Its me. Hi. Im the problem. Its me.

Does anyone else feel like the verse of snow on the beach is just like the verse of the way I loved you???? Also no lana verse?🥹 why no lana verse?🥹 i cri

Track 5 felt so not sad until she dropped her voice for ‘you’re own your own kid you always have been’ and then I died😂 and then the ending is so uplifting You’re on your own but you can do it and yk what now that Taylor said it, it does feel possible 🥹

Who tf is singing on Midnight rain? Oh wait taylors back oh wait who tf is back now?

Can I ask you a Question? My god so passive aggressive I love itt

Vigilante shit has my hair on end omggg. The beattt. I don’t dress up for women I don’t dress up for men I dress up for revenge. Any dude who does a girl dirty this year is just asking for it. She’s going to destroy you with these lyrics all over her ig stories

Bejewelled. One word shimmer ✨ iykyk. Bejewelled is if the bad bitch of reputation stopped giving a fuck. Major Anthem.

Labyrinth. If it rises fast it cant last😭 we’re back to soul crushing I see. Oh the eldritch horror from midnight rain is back on its cameo shit.

Karma. Fuck yea go straight for the jugular babe. Give us everything. Karma is a cat purring in my lap? Me and Karma vibe like that? Fuck YES QUEEN. Karma IS your boyfriend. Hell shes your handmaiden.

Sweet nothing. There’s something about songs Joe writes that really get me. Its just so cuteeee. I spy with my little tired eye🥹

Mastermind? Already? No? We cant be done???? This is a love song?? Wtf😂😂😂😂. Plot fucking twist.

Vigilante shit and Maroon have me on the ground for different reasons both good ones though. Ughhh I love this album so so muchhhh

Album as a whole completely defied my expectations. I was expecting a sad, crying in my bedroom vibe and its more of a manic in the bathroom of a club vibe like yk she’s going to go home and fall apart in the worst way but this is that moment when shes running on pure fumes and manic energy

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sammysmaddy · 6 months

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Help You Forget (Sam Winchester x Reader)

Summary: As the youngest Winchester child, Y/N's life is turned upside down when her brother, Sam, gets a new girlfriend.

Pairing(s): Sam x Sister!Reader

Warning(s): incest, dub-con-administering reader, mention/suggestion of rape, angst, alcohol, sex under the influence, kissing, handjob, implied f. receiving

W/C: 6.2k+

A/N: First fic in a while! Hope I've not gotten rusty 😅

Masterlist

Y/N always hated moving. She thought she would get used to it eventually because she ended up moving with her family every few months, but she never did.

Now, Y/N was finally at the age where she could be left alone with her brother, Sam, whilst her other family, John and Dean, went on hunting trips.

At first, the idea excited Y/N. She loved Dean and her father but at times they were overbearing, especially with all of the unresolved anger that seemed to linger. Most of all, she was excited about Sam getting to be his own person. She never felt like Sam could truly express himself unless it was just around her. This way, Sam could just be Sam.

It wasn't like she chose to favor Sam over her other brother and father, it just kind of happened. Since she could remember, Dean would follow John around like a little lost puppy and when they both went away, all that was left was Y/N and Sam.

It was always pretty clear how much John resented Sam but nobody knew why he did, and John refused to admit it. Whereas on the other hand, Y/N was adored by John, most likely due to her being the baby of the family and the only daughter.

Sam and Y/N grew close because they had to, she was the only one who loved Sam as he deserved, yet Y/N knew that even if she was given the choice- she wouldn't change a thing. She cared for Sam more than anything in the world.

In the beginning, her excitement was fulfilled. She would stay up late watching horror movies or documentaries, eat cold leftover pizza, and hang out with Sam until early morning. And, Sam was wonderful. The kind of wonderful that she rarely got to see.

In John and Dean's time away, Y/N got to witness Sam at his truest potential. He joked more, laughed more, smiled more, and in turn, made Y/N happier than she ever thought she could be. It was the side of Sam that John and Dean couldn't even begin to comprehend if they tried. But, fortunately or unfortunately, other people saw the new side of Sam too.

Normally, Sam and Y/N stuck to themselves at school. Mostly because they knew they would be leaving again and they didn't want to get attached to new people, but also because they knew that all they needed was each other.

They didn't go to parties or join clubs at random high schools, they sat alone in corners during lunchtime and hardly poked their heads up at those who seemed interested in forming friendships with them.

This time was different. It was the last quarter of both Sam and Y/N's high school careers, and John had promised both of them that this would be their last school. When Y/N saw Sam leaning against his locker as he talked to a girl in the hallway, her heart felt as though it had shattered into a million pieces.

For the sake of her mental health and to repress the fear of being alone, Y/N brushed it off. She told herself that Sam was allowed to make new friends, furthermore, she told herself that it was healthy for Sam to make new friends. But the only kink in her chain about the whole situation was that for whatever reason, she was repulsed at the idea of Sam having another girl in his life.

Y/N knew it was silly. She knew she shouldn't care and that she should be accepting, but she couldn't get over her feelings of jealousy. She couldn't help but feel that overbearing energy her father always seemed to possess, although she did her best to hide it.

It became hard to hide when Sam started to stay after school to "study" with a friend. It shocked Y/N to her core. He had never once chosen to study, much less choose to make a friend. Sam was always the type of student who didn't need to rehearse, he could absorb whatever information taught in class and remember it all the day of the exam.

Y/N had a gut feeling, a feeling that told her that Sam was changing. She felt guilty for wanting him all to herself, guilty for wanting Sam to always stay the same. She couldn't admit it but she hated the idea of Sam spreading his wings because it meant that he was leaving her behind. She didn't understand why Sam would want to leave her.

After a few months, Y/N finally realized the reason Sam wanted to hang out with his girlfriend, Lindsay, almost every night. She could barely comprehend why Sam didn't tell her, but she had accidentally found out one night that they were having sex. That was why Sam all of a sudden started to favor Lindsay's company over Y/N's.

It hurt Y/N's feelings that Sam didn't tell her he had lost his virginity. She couldn't even imagine hiding something that big from Sam, even if it wasn't the most appropriate thing to tell her brother.

Sam was the one who told her about sex and in return, a few months later she had shown him his first skin mag. Hell, she had even poked fun at Sam's various boners throughout the years and he had always joked back. Why was this any different?

Y/N began to make a plan of action. She wanted to appeal to what Sam wanted to reestablish the relationship that they had before. If sex was what Sam wanted, Y/N was going to do whatever it took to make him happy, and she didn't begin to double-guess whether it was wrong.

She began to think about all of the different ways she could go about it. She knew that she wasn't too astray from Sam's "type", as Sam's girlfriend shared similar features with her. Y/N, however, was very different from Lindsay in the way that she dressed. Y/N wasn't even sure that she had ever exposed more skin than Lindsay- even in her bathing suit.

Although it was repurposed from the "emergency" wad of cash her father had left behind, Y/N spent a little money every week or so to upgrade her wardrobe. She didn't want Sam to notice that she was changing and the last thing she wanted was to expose her plan to him. She couldn't afford to push him away any further.

So, Y/N did it slowly. She did her hair differently, experimented with different makeup, and wore different, more revealing clothes.

She gauged whether Sam liked it or not by the way that he looked at her when he drove her home after school. Most mornings Sam would wake up on the wrong side of the bed and he would hardly talk to her, after school was different because he was a bit more relaxed.

If he liked the look, Y/N could see how his pupils dilated. He breathed somehow slower and faster simultaneously, he had difficulty speaking, and Y/N's favorite indicator was that he couldn't seem to stop swallowing. Although probably the most innocent reaction and part of her plan, it turned Y/N on to see Sam look at her the way he looked at Lindsay.

Y/N also made her own friends. To preoccupy her nights without Sam, Y/N began to go to simple house parties, mingling with everyone she could. This led her to be invited and befriended by some of the most popular kids in school, and almost every night she was somewhere new.

She began to understand Sam leaving her behind. She hardly thought of him when she would drink the night away, laughing with her friends about stupid inside jokes or watching them fail keg stands. But the second she was left alone, all she felt was empty.

To add to all of it, Sam had grown more distant. Although he barely spoke in the morning, most mornings now were completely silent as they drove to school together. His reactions to Y/N's outfits and appearance changes grew more faint, and many were replaced by eye rolls.

He had even tried to pull the big brother card by suggesting that she was partying too much. And that was when Y/N knew it was time for the final step of her plan.

"You don't even know what a party is like," Y/N huffed as Sam pressed on the gas a little harder.

"Okay, yeah, I may have never been to a party, but I'm not blind! All you do is drink and probably let your guy friends get a little too handsy!" Sam raised his voice, causing Y/N to audibly groan.

"Are you slut-shaming me? Because that sounds a lot like slut shaming, Sam."

"I don't know, maybe I am." Sam turned to look at Y/N for a split second, her cheeks heating up in return. "I mean, you'd be lying to me if you didn't say that every single one of your guy friends wants to sleep with you."

"They don't all want to sleep with me,"

"Bullshit! That's a whole load of crap and you know that, Y/N!"

"So what if they do? Huh, Sam? That doesn't mean that I want to sleep with them." Y/N was getting more frustrated by the second, and she could tell that Sam was as well.

They never fought. Maybe there would be a disagreement now and then about who should take the trash out, but that was the extent of it. She wasn't sure why, but the fight with Sam excited her. It was probably because, in one way or another, he was expressing that he cared.

"They're boys, Y/N, boys! What do you think will happen to you if you continue to play dumb?" Sam shocked Y/N as she went silent for a few seconds.

"Dumb? What's that supposed to mean?" Y/N asked Sam lowly, glaring at him as he gripped the steering wheel harder.

"You know exactly what I mean. You're hanging out with a bunch of boys who think they're men and you're all drinking, what do you think is going to happen to a girl like you? That's not a good mix and it would be stupid of you to think otherwise."

"You don't think I can handle myself?"

"No, I don't think you can handle yourself,"

"I can't believe you, Sam. You're probably just jealous that you don't get invited to things like I do!" Y/N crossed her arms as Sam scoffed aloud.

"Why would I be jealous of a bunch of teenagers getting hammered and all screwing each other?"

"Yep. Like I said, you don't even know what a party is like." Y/N flattened her lips as her voice lowered. "How about this?"

"What?" Sam groaned as he rolled his eyes.

"You come to a party with me and you'll see that it's not so bad."

"Why would I do that?"

"Bring Lindsay with you. Drink, don't drink, I don't care, but I'm tired of being called dumb just for having fun with my friends."

"Maybe I will!"

"Fine by me!"

"Fine!"

•••

It wasn't much longer until the next party rolled around. Whatever frequent talking that occurred between Sam and Y/N turned into the occasional remark and questioning each other on what would be for dinner. Other than that, they mostly kept to themselves and it utterly ate at Y/N.

Y/N got the text when she was eating dinner at the table, Sam and Lindsay were bundled up on the couch causing Y/N to physically gag every time she looked over her shoulder.

"Sam, get up." Y/N stood up abruptly, causing the wooden chair to screech as she pushed it back.

"Why, what happened?" Sam was clearly beginning to panic within the split second between responses.

"We're going to a party!" Y/N began walking to her side of the motel room.

"What? No!" Sam, now standing up, groaned.

Y/N began to dig through her bag for clothes as Sam sat back down next to Lindsay.

"I think it might be fun," Lindsay said somewhat quietly, causing Y/N's head to pop up.

"Really?" Sam asked and Y/N watched as Lindsay nodded her head.

"Yeah, I haven't been to a party in forever!" Lindsay seemed to perk up more and more by the second. "Hey, Y/N, it's Adam's party, right?"

Y/N nodded her head with a small smile, watching Lindsay light up at her answer. Sam did not appear to be as excited as the girls.

"Come on, Sam! When's the last time you went to a party?" Lindsay asked her boyfriend as she stood up.

"Oh, ummm, I don't know," Sam scratched the back of his neck as he looked up at his girlfriend. "Probably a few months or so?"

Y/N chuckled as Sam sent her a glare. Not only was it very much blatantly untrue, but he made it sound as though he was asking Lindsay for the answer.

"Yes!" Y/N exclaimed as she stood from a crouching position whilst holding up her very favorite top.

"What?" Sam asked as Lindsay grabbed her things scattered around the room.

"I found my favorite top. I thought I had lost it at the laundromat!" Y/N held the shirt up in front of her to show Sam.

"You can't wear that," Sam raised an eyebrow at his little sister, his words catching the attention of his girlfriend.

"Why not, babe?" Lindsay asked, crossing her arms in front of her. Somehow, she instantly looked intimidating.

"I think he's trying to tell me it's too slutty," Y/N glared at Sam, biting the inside of her cheeks with agitation.

"Half my wardrobe is more revealing than that, she's going to be fine, Sam," Lindsay assured her boyfriend.

Sam bit his tongue as he stared at his younger sister, and Y/N knew she had won the debate.

"My place for the pregame?" Lindsay announced as she looked at Y/N. Y/N nodded her head, sending Sam a small smirk afterward.

•••

It was a small party compared to the ones that Y/N, and probably also Lindsay, had been to. There were around fifty people strewn across the backyard of Adam's house, all doing various activities. You had the smokers, the swimmers, the ones who caused scandals, and then there was Sam, who did not seem to be enjoying himself whatsoever.

Y/N had left the pair early on to go play some drinking games with her friends and now and then looked over her shoulder to find Sam. For the most part, he stood with one drink in his hand and the other was tucked away in his pocket as Lindsay talked to seemingly everybody at the party.

Y/N wanted so desperately to go and save Sam, even if they hadn't been on the best of terms lately. She knew how uncomfortable Sam was just by looking at his posture but was too proud to help him.

When two seats had opened up next to Y/N, she called across the yard for the couple to join the game. Sam would get to sit down and he didn't have to socialize, and Y/N figured it would be a good way to get him to drink a bit more.

The rather good-looking couple, though Y/N hated to admit it, made their way across the lawn and sat down in the chairs around the small table. Around ten people were playing a game of truth or dare, and Y/N figured it was a good way to get Sam acclimated to other people.

People began to chatter among themselves before beginning the next round. Y/N leaned over to talk to her friend Mariah.

"I cannot believe your brother is dating Lindsay Hough!" Mariah seemed shocked as she scoffed, causing Y/N to raise an eyebrow.

"Why?" Y/N asked curiously as her other friend Emma joined the conversation.

"Dude! That's Adam's ex-girlfriend and probably the person with the highest body count in possibly the entire school!" Emma raised both her eyebrows as her mouth widened, looking back and forth at Lindsay and Sam.

"Oh," Y/N frowned, looking back to see Sam smiling as he watched Lindsay chat with other people. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah, she hasn't been to one of Adam's parties since they broke up like three months ago," Mariah sucked her teeth as she shrugged her shoulders. "I guess she wants to make Adam jealous."

"Or maybe Sam," Emma added, now blatantly staring at Lindsay and Sam.

"Is she...?" A lightbulb lit up in Y/N's mind as she began to think of all of the times her friend group mentioned 'Thou who shall not be named'. Mariah and Emma nodded their heads simultaneously.

"Okayyy," Adam dragged on as he made his way toward the table with a case of beers. "Who needs one?"

Y/N looked over at Sam as Adam opened the box, handing beers out. She raised her hand and as she realized Sam wasn't going to, she spoke up, "Can I get two please?"

"Of course!" Adam threw Y/N a couple of beers. "Getting pretty drunk tonight, Winchester?" He chuckled as he smirked at her.

"Maybe, but I really just wanted an extra for the other Winchester," Y/N giggled as Adam continued to keep a smug face.

"Other Winchester? Who's that?" Adam pushed his head back with a confused look.

"This is my brother, Sam!" Y/N squeezed Sam's arm a little to indicate which one he was.

"Oh! Nice to meet you, dude! I've heard a lot about you." Adam smiled, reaching out to shake Sam's hand.

"Oh," Sam said awkwardly, his cheeks heating up. "Really?"

"Oh yeah, Y/N never shuts up about you, dude," Adam responded with a laugh, causing Y/N's cheeks to heat up.

"I do not!" Y/N exclaimed as if she were highly offended.

"Yeah, yeah," Adam continued to laugh as he began to look around the group.

Y/N watched as Adam finally laid eyes on Lindsay. She also watched as Adam's glance traveled downwards, his eyes widening at the sight of Sam and Lindsay holding hands. Adam scoffed, blinking a few times before clearing his throat.

"Who wants to go first?" Adam snapped out of it as he looked around at the group.

"I will!" Y/N raised her hand after realizing nobody wanted to go. "Sam, truth or dare."

"Say dare, babe!" Lindsay tried her best to whisper as she shook Sam's arm.

"Uh, sure. Yeah, let's do dare," Sam swallowed, noticeably uncomfortable by the extra attention from the rest of the players.

"I dare you to finish that beer right now," Y/N smiled at Sam and he rolled his eyes at the challenge. "Adam he's gonna need a new one in a second!"

Surprisingly, Sam was not completely hesitant to complete the task. He popped the tab open, tipped his head back, and nearly drank the entire can in one breath.

"Woah, dude, that was honestly impressive," Adam handed Sam a fresh beer in disbelief.

"Thanks, man,"

•••

The round went on for a long time, long enough for both Sam and Y/N to be visibly tipsy. Sam was finally letting loose and not taking himself so seriously, and it made Y/N happy to see. Right around now was when the party started to dwindle and Y/N's emptiness began to set, but she didn't feel that tonight.

"Y/N, truth or dare?" Adam's best friend, Jalen, asked.

"Dare!" Y/N felt nearly invincible at this point, like nothing could ruin her night.

"I dare you," Jalen paused, looking around whilst pursing his lips. "To make out with Adam for thirty seconds!" He slapped the sides of both of Adam's arms and Y/N blushed, taking a few seconds to answer.

"Okay," Y/N stated simply, standing up as she made her way to the other side of the table.

She didn't want to overdo it, feeling as though it might make Sam more uncomfortable than turned on, so she opted for sitting on Adam's lap instead of straddling him. She teased Adam's lips, getting close enough to feel his breath as she held onto him by wrapping her arms around the back of his neck.

After a few seconds of watching the way Adam chased her lips with his, she finally went in for the kiss. It was slow at first, simple movements as their lips caressed one another's. Y/N picked up the pace and as it became sloppier, Y/N gripped his face with her fingertips and drew him in deeper. She may have been tipsy, but it had to have been one of the better kisses she had ever experienced.

Through the passion and various cheers from the rest of the players, Y/N didn't know how long it had been before she pulled back. She held the bottom of Adam's chin after pulling back, planting his lips with one last lingering kiss.

Y/N then stood up and made her way chair, noticing that Sam was no longer sitting with the group- which was exactly the opposite of what she wanted to happen. She didn't want Sam to be repulsed by the thought of her being sexual, she wanted him to be intrigued by it.

"That was at least 45 seconds!" Mariah screamed in a hushed whisper when Y/N sat down.

"Yeah, that was one of the top ten hottest kisses of all time!" Emma joined, shaking Y/N's arm excitedly.

"I want to go next," Lindsay said to the group and Y/N and her friends geared their attention toward her.

"By all means," Adam waved his hands above the table. Lindsay stared at Adam deviously before speaking up.

"Jalen, truth or dare?" Lindsay slurred with a small smirk on her face, taking a sip of her watered-down cranberry vodka.

"Uhh, dare!" Jalen smirked as the crowd 'oohed'.

"I dare you to give me a lap dance," Lindsay smiled as she looked at Jalen. Adam shrugged his shoulders in response, seeming not to care.

"Your wish is my command," Jalen smirked as he stood from the table, making his way toward Lindsay.

Jalen seductively advanced toward Sam's girlfriend. He was rather fit and made it all the more convincing as he chose to take his shirt off and swing it like a rope above his head before tossing it in Lindsay's lap.

The remaining players cheered as Jalen began to slowly make his way on top of Lindsay, grabbing her head as he pressed his body against her face. He continued the motion and eventually Lindsay stuck her tongue out as Jalen ran it up and down his abdomen.

Near the end, when Lindsay's eyes were dark and full of lust, Jalen bent his neck down and kissed her. To Y/N's surprise, Adam was the first to cheer the pair on as they began to make out passionately. Even more surprising was the look of terror on Sam's face when Y/N turned around to see her big brother in disarray.

Y/N felt her heart break for Sam as she watched him storm away from the table. She quickly told her friends that she had to go before chasing after him. Y/N didn't call his name because she knew that he needed a second to process and she needed a moment to process it herself.

This was not part of her plan. She wanted to convince Sam to like parties, not despise them. She figured maybe he would have fun, go to a few more with her, and drink a bit. Y/N thought that maybe if she had enough alcohol in her system, she could finally show Sam how much she missed him.

Now that Lindsay has completely spoiled that for Y/N, Y/N was at a loss. She had no idea what she was going to say when she finally caught up to Sam, she wasn't even sure if he wanted her around at that moment.

As her heart raced and she got closer, she called Sam's name out. He continued walking as if he hadn't heard, so Y/N called it out again before Sam eventually came to a stop.

To Y/N's astonishment, Sam immediately engulfed her in a tight hug when she finally reached him. Y/N held her brother, rubbing her hands up and down his back as he took a few deep breaths in.

"Let's go home?" Y/N asked, looking up into Sam's eyes when he finally broke the hug. Sam nodded in return.

•••

After their 20-minute walk in silence to the motel, Sam promptly went to the fridge and pulled out a few beers. Y/N kept quiet as she got her pajamas out of her bag, mostly because she didn't want to say the wrong thing to upset Sam any further.

"Stay up with me?" Sam called out to Y/N as she made her way to the bathroom.

"Yeah, of course," Y/N looked over as Sam sat at the small table in the middle of the kitchen. "I just need to shower really quick."

Y/N took a quick shower but put her pajamas on slowly, panicking as she continued to feel Sam's heartbreak. She washed her face and brushed her teeth at an excruciatingly reduced pace before returning to the living room.

"Do you want to change and then we can watch a movie together?" Y/N asked as she watched Sam drink at the table, on his second since their arrival. Sam nodded his head.

Y/N spent the extra few dollars to rent one of Sam's favorite movies as Sam got ready for bed. Her bed was closer to the TV in the corner and considering the circumstances of the night, Y/N was not surprised when Sam chose to lie next to her.

They had always been comfortable with simple intimacy because they had shared a bed for most of their lives, so curling up in Sam's arms felt completely natural to Y/N. It hadn't happened in a while, so the feeling of being draped in Sam felt incredibly invigorating.

Y/N laid her cheek on Sam's bare chest as she watched the movie. Sam kept his fingers resting comfortably in her hair and would occasionally stroke her scalp. Their legs rested against one another and they melted in each other's arms as the movie continued.

Y/N didn't hate the movie, although she didn't enjoy gore all that much. She wasn't sure whether Sam liked gore either, but she knew that it was one of his favorites because of its storyline and funny moments.

She relaxed a bit as she felt Sam's chest move up and down each time he chuckled at certain lines, happy that he could take his mind off of tonight. As she laid on his chest, she ran her fingers up and down between his pectoral muscles.

Y/N eventually stopped watching the movie, preferring to watch the way Sam's micro-sized hairs shot up when she stroked over a specific spot. Sam, copying Y/N's petting behavior, massaged her scalp with his fingertips as he continued laughing at the film.

After only a few moments of watching the way Sam's body reacted to her touch, Y/N began to feel extremely content. It was partially due to the excessive amount of alcohol she consumed, but mostly due to being in Sam's arms. She had missed Sam so much while he was with Lindsay and in all fairness, she only got friends of her own to make him jealous.

Y/N loved Sam more than anything in the world and tonight was the ultimate reminder that it would always just be the two of them. They hadn't seen their other family in over two months and while partying was a lot of fun, Y/N realized that she didn't want friends. All she wanted was Sam.

"Is this my shirt?" Sam plucked at the cotton on Y/N's body with his fingers, her nipples instantly going erect by the movement of the fabric.

"Mhm," Y/N hummed contently with a small smile on her face.

She decided to pick her head up and look at Sam but was instantly saddened by the expression on his face.

"Did you want it back?" Y/N arose, sitting next to Sam. Chills went down her spine as his hand fell from the back of her head to resting around her waist.

"It's not that," Sam sighed, staring at the television with a blank expression. "I thought Lindsay had taken it a long time ago."

"Oh," Y/N frowned at the thought of Lindsay. Even if Y/N didn't like her stealing Sam's attention, she didn't want for Lindsay to break his heart. "You'll be better off without her, Sammy."

Y/N comforted Sam by reaching her arm out and running her fingers through his hair. Sam flattened his lips into a straight line and nodded slowly.

"I know. I just- never mind." Sam stuttered, mumbling as he made it clear to Y/N that he was still slightly intoxicated.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Y/N questioned softly as she continued to massage his hair. Sam nodded his head in return.

"I'm going to miss her," Sam muttered after a few seconds as if he were ashamed to admit it.

"I know, Sammy," She nodded with a frown.

Sam squeezed Y/N's hip with his hand as his face began to contort. Before Y/N could reach down and engulf him, Sam reached over with his other arm and buried his face in her lap.

She watched as Sam's back moved rapidly up and down as he began to sob, squeezing her as he let his feelings out. Y/N's heart hurt for her brother and she went silent as she continued to hold his head in her hands.

It was very seldom that Sam cried and Y/N was never good with words when he got upset. She held him for a few minutes and felt the way his tears soaked through her shirt, breathing through the slight pain he caused when he squeezed her body every few seconds.

"I love you so much, Sam. You deserve so much better than her." Y/N reassured when Sam caught his breath.

"I don't know what I did wrong," Sam sobbed, his words hurting Y/N's brain as she processed them.

"Sammy, you know it's not your fault," Y/N sighed as she picked his head up with her hands.

Sam looked up into his little sister's eyes with doubt and Y/N slid down so that she could lay facing him. He brought her into a tight embrace as he continued to cry with his face pressed into her chest.

Y/N hated the strange comfort it brought her. She hated the idea of being happier now that Sam was heartbroken but she loved that he was all hers again. Now that Lindsay was out of the picture, she wasn't sure that giving him sex was the right answer.

But she had already imagined having Sam all to herself so many times that the thought of never being intimate with him hurt her soul. If that was what he was missing from his cheating girlfriend, then she could still provide him with that. The only problem in her mind was finding a way to initiate it.

Sam brought his head up from her chest and Y/N immediately cradled his face in her hands, looking at him as his lip quivered. He didn't say a word before Y/N pressed her lips to his.

Y/N planted a small, soft kiss on his tear-soaked lips before going in for another. The mixture of longing, heartbreak, and intoxication must have caught up to Sam as he began to kiss Y/N back.

She wasn't sure how it would feel to kiss her own brother but the second Sam began to suck Y/N's bottom lip in, she knew that they were made for each other. She kissed him harder and with more passion, eventually leading to their tongues crashing together before retreating.

Then Sam pulled back and Y/N felt her heart drop.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Sam looked terrified as he looked at Y/N with wide eyes.

"Shh, Sammy. I can make you feel better," Y/N said softly, bringing her lips to his again.

Sam stayed still as she brushed her lips against his and Y/N panicked slightly internally when he didn't return the favor.

"Y/N, we can't. This is wrong," Sam whispered but Y/N didn't want to hear it. She then opted to place wet, sloppy kisses on his neck instead.

Y/N felt Sam squirm uncomfortably, his body tensing as she ran her hand up and down his abdomen. When he relaxed after a few seconds, she tried his lips again. Sam continued to stay still, not granting her access to his mouth.

"Let me take care of you. I want to help you forget." Y/N whispered in Sam's ear, running her fingers through his hair as she carried on kissing his neck.

With this possibly being Y/N's only opportunity to convince Sam that he needed her, she found her hand beginning to trace his v-line. This made Sam shudder and Y/N loved the way his head tilted back, exposing his neck even more.

Trailing kisses over new spots on his neck, Y/N rubbed her hand over the front of Sam's shorts. She could feel that Sam was getting hard, which nearly made her explode as she began to feel pressure building in her stomach.

As much as she had dreamt about having sex with Sam, she was still a virgin and didn't want to take the spotlight away from him. All she cared about right then and there was making Sam happy and that meant getting him off.

"Y/N," Sam lightly protested, grabbing her hand.

Before he could pull it away, Y/N seized her opportunity and began to kiss him before he could speak again. This time he kissed back almost immediately and Y/N felt as his member twitched under her hand.

"Don't think, Sammy. Just let it happen." Y/N said softly in between kisses.

Feeling the way Sam relaxed as he took her advice, Y/N decided to dip her hand into his shorts and underneath his boxers. As she felt his cock throb in her palm, she pumped him a few times in her hand. Sam moaned into her mouth as he continued to kiss her passionately.

With what little room Y/N had to work with, she did her best to pump him fully. She gauged whether or not he enjoyed it by how hard he kissed her back and continued to switch the motion up so that it wouldn't become too monotonous.

To Y/N's surprise, Sam eventually hurriedly pushed his shorts down to expose his length without breaking their kiss. When his hands returned, he held Y/N's face as he kissed her with more urgency.

Opening her eyes out of curiosity, Y/N looked down and let out a small gasp. She could feel how big Sam was in her hand but to look at the size of his cock with her own two eyes was shocking.

Y/N had never done anything like this before but she wasn't completely clueless, so she figured that Sam was getting closer to climax. With all the free room needed to stroke him to his full extent, she began to pump him in her hand fervently.

Sam moaned gutturally and Y/N opened her eyes just in time to watch the way his eyes began to roll to the back of his head. She pulled back from his lips and began to kiss his exposed neck so that he could focus on finishing.

Y/N ran her finger over the tip of Sam's cock and switched up the speed and intensity. She sucked on the thin skin of his throat, lightly running her teeth over it, and Sam's cock began to twitch erratically.

Growing more aroused by the second, Y/N relished the little sounds that escaped from Sam's throat. She trailed her lips over his collarbones, and he let out a little whine as he continued to twitch.

"Fuck!" Was the first word out of Sam's mouth before Y/N felt a warmness touch the skin on her hands.

Y/N decided to take it slower so as not to overwhelm him as she carried on pumping him in her hand. As they rode out the entirety of Sam's climax together, Y/N found herself smiling as she placed soft kisses on his chest.

Sam panted as Y/N removed her hand, running her fingertip through the cum that had spurted on his abdomen. She let out a small giggle as she felt her cheeks heat up with happiness.

Sam grabbed Y/N's hand, removing it from his stomach and Y/N felt her heart drop. She hadn't thought about what might happen afterward, she knew that post-nut clarity was definitely a real thing after hanging around so many boys. Hoping that Sam wasn't upset with her, she let him remove her hand.

She almost didn't look up as she began to grow scared of his reaction, but as she did, Sam looked into her eyes with a small smile on his face.

"I missed you so much, Y/N," Sam whispered softly as he cupped her face, bringing her in as he placed his lips on hers.

Y/N didn't say anything as her cheeks heated with validation. She almost forgot to kiss him back as she processed his words. Eventually, she melted into his touch.

"I missed you too, Sammy," Y/N said quietly as she pulled back only an inch or so.

Not even a moment later, Sam wasted no time on showing her how much he missed her.

#fanfic #supernatural #spn #spnfamily #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #sam x reader #sam x sister!reader #darkfic #jared padalecki

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