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ssalballoon · 3 months

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i wanna get better at art but dont know how to start ^^' whats a good way to get into studying anatomy and improving as an artist? tysm 💗 love your art soso much

more art converts 😼 yay!!

i think these asks were sent by different people but they're pretty related + a lot of my advice is the same! so i'll answer these together under the cut (it's so long oh gosh)

ok first of all i'm very flattered that people are asking me for art advice but i'm really not the most equipped person to ask TTOTT I've never been deliberately studious with my art so I feel bad offering advice when I've mostly gotten by with just drawing fanart and ocs a lot... my rate of improvement has therefore been slow, but I've still had an enjoyable learning experience so perhaps from that angle my input may help! i'll mainly refer you to external resources that have helped me

For anatomy + drawing humans:

1) I know I'm not diligent enough to sit down and study muscles, so instead I make it more enjoyable by drawing my favorite characters in a pose that targets the muscles I want to practice! (i default to drawing ppl naked because of this lol) This isn't the most efficient, but it serves as good motivation to get practice in. (honestly a lot of my general art advice has the undercurrent of becoming so obsessed with characters to drive your motivation to draw even when artblocked/ struggling with doubts!)

2) I want to refer you to Sinix's Anatomy playlist! Although Sinix focuses more on digital painting, he gives simplified anatomy breakdowns that include how muscles change shape under different movements/poses, which is crucial for natural human posing. the static anatomy diagrams from Google don't really help for that

3) What's just as important as anatomy is gestures! (especially important if you're used to drawing non-human objects I think!) Making figures look like they have flow to them will sell the "naturalness"(?) to your anatomy. If you have in person life drawing sessions accessible near you I'd recommend trying those out, or if you prefer trying it digitally there's this website!

This helps you not only get a sense of human proportions, but also natural posing! I'd limit the time taken to draw the poses from like 10 seconds to 1 minute(?) for quick gestures, and maybe 1 minute to 5mins(for now!! typically they go much longer) to study human proportions. I'd say don't spend a lot of time on them, repetition is more important!

4) I've also picked up on useful anatomy tidbits from artists online! Looking at how practiced/ professional artists stylize a body helps me focus on what the essential details are to convey a particular form (looking up "human muscles" and being hit with anatomy diagrams full of all the smallest details can be overwhelming! what do you even focus on?! so these educated simplifications really help me) Like Emilio Dekure's work! Look how simplified these figures are, and yet contain all the essential information to convey the sense of accurate form (even though it's highly exaggerated!)

(shamefully admits I've never studied from actual anatomy books so I can't recommend anything in that sense TTOTT)

For general improvement:

1) I highly recommend Sinix's Design Theory playlist and Paintover Pals! (+ his channel in general) You don't have to put them immediately into practice, but I think these are good fundamental lessons to just listen to and have them in the back of your mind to revisit another day. Plus these videos are just fun and very approachable! Design theory fundamentals are essential to creating appeal and directing a viewer's attention, and critiquing others' work/ seeing his suggestions are a good way to practice noticing areas of improvement+ solutions yourself!

2) If you prefer a more formal teaching resource, the Drawabox YouTube course covers all the basic fundamentals of drawing in short lessons. But honestly if I were starting out, this would be a little intimidating for me (and even now it still is! I haven't done all of them) But even if you don't watch them, the titles should give you an idea of the basic concepts that are valuable to pick up. I think it would be nice to keep in mind and revisit once in a while as you learn!

(One lesson I do encourage you to watch is the line control one! A confident continuous line conveys motion and flow much better compared to discontinuous frayed lines which I think is good to practice early by drawing from the wrist and shoulder)

3) As a universal piece of advice: Please please please use references! Use a reference for literally everything, observing is how we learn! You'll find that a lot of things you thought you knew what they looked like are inaccurate by memory alone. Also, trace! This is solely for your practice, tracing then freehanding has helped me grasp proportions when I was struggling! (of course don't post these online if you traced from art)

I've found that being able to compile references into easy to access boards has been very helpful in encouraging me to use references more. For PC, I think they use PureRef (free/pay what you want), and for iPad I use VizRef. VizRef is a one time purchase (which was definitely worth the $3.99 USD price imo)

4) On that note, try building up the habit to observe from media + real life and make purposeful comments about what you see! Like hey, when I bend my knee, the muscles/fat in my thighs and calves bulge outwards, I should draw that next time. Purposeful observation carries over to your overall visual library, and it's a little thing that adds up over time

5) For motivation, get into media you really enjoy, or make your own characters! The way I started art more seriously was by drawing fanart + OCs from anime that I liked ^^ For OCs it really encourages you to draw more because you're the primary creator of their art! Also you gotta see a lot of good art to make good art! Watching visually appealing media (like animation with appealing stylization/simplification) can passively help you learn just by observation.

ok wow I could go on but this is already a lot of information TTOTT my main aim for this reply is basically: don't let anything discourage you from learning to draw!! drawing is so fun and brings me a lot of joy ^^ practicing often will of course help you improve, and the way to incentivize that is by having fun with it! i hope this could help!💞

#my asks #art resources #trying to be concise n failing #i'm mainly worried that like. my art tips make me sound more skilled than my art actually is

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night-market-if · 6 months

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Just curious since you brought it up, but what made you think Malcolm was going to be a tough sell?

For two reasons.

Because he was going to be in Milo's life and the backlash that came from that was one I was expecting and I was concerned it would be on all fronts. But for as much heat as I've gotten on the situation, I have also got an outpouring of love. I know poly is a touchy subject for some and I thought they would hate Malcolm just on principal.

And two, because Malcolm is a trans character. And not only that, but he is a character that I am not going out of the way to make his story about being transgender if that makes sense. At the time of his creation, there was a lot of discourse going on in some other groups I was in about how someone that is not transgender shouldn't write a transgender character. Or that if you have a trans character you should talk about the struggles of that to bring light to the situation. When I mentioned that it wasn't a center part of Malcolm's storyline I got a lot of heat for that. Plus, you know, people are sometimes just assholes over the internet. And the fact that I wasn't going around and introducing him as Malcolm Albright, my transgender character, had others concerned too. Saying I should advertise it so as not to make anyone uncomfortable. Obviously, I didn't do that and I was worried about some backlash for that too.

But, out of both of those situations I have learned a very important lesson in my writing. When people give me their opinions on matters that are based more in the "I don't like this" category, it has less to do about me and my writing and more to do about their own personal thoughts and decisions in life. I can listen to it. I can see if there is anything in their words that might apply to me or be a teachable moment, but that does not mean that I am wrong for what I am doing either. And that for everyone that gets angry at me for these types of things, there are equal amounts of people that are thrilled with what I do.

#the night market #interactive fiction #malcolm albright #trans positivity #twine fic #twine if

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goiterinthegullet · 4 months

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Tuco in "The Good the Bad and The Ugly" is honestly amazing

I've been watching TGTBTU (tuguttubutu) again recently and just thinking about how, unlike any other character in the movie, Tuco is the most human. I mean, Angel Eyes and Blondie are incredible, well-acted, compelling, aesthetically-grabbing, but you've got to admit they're rather alien, in a weird kind of way.

Angel Eyes is obviously evil to a classic standard, wanting nothing but to cause mayhem for extremely vague reasons related to general self-preservation and/or greed, and his reasons are much less important to the narrative as opposed to the threat he represents. Sure, he's got a bit of a past, but we never even learn his real name. He's an excellent villain, a perfect character in one of my favorite movies ever, but like Maleficent or Ursula or Scar, he's just that. A villain, and I love it, but it's definitely not "human", at least in an emotional sense.

And Blondie? Sure, its different obviously but his whole schtick is that he literally never tells us anything about him. We don't know his name, his heritage, his backstory, hardly anything. Anything we do know is just sorta vaguely picked up or known in a more personality way, like seeing how he responds to situations with complexity while never actually divulging anything more tangible.

But Tuco? Tuco? He's a creepy little criminal with a brother in the priesthood and two dead parents he hasn't seen for nine years. He used to have a wife somewhere, his eyes filled with tears upon hearing of his parents death. He's got more names than Blondie or Angel Eyes could ever hope to carry: Tuco Benedicto Pacífico Juan María Ramírez. He carries his name and his hastily-drawn sign of the cross everywhere he goes, gleefully cheats and steals and is genuinely a piece of sh/t, but also brags about how his brother is the "leader of the whole abbey!" after being thrown out by said brother who is also hurting. He's greedy and strange and a fantastic with a gun (prefers pistols to revolvers) and will sell anybody out for a nickel, and he's just so human.

Angel Eyes and Blondie don't try to not tell you anything about themselves. They're not interested in talking, albeit for different reasons, and would probably take it in stride if you did find anything out, but Tuco? Tuco is the only person who actually doesn't want you to know anything while simultaneously never being able to shut up. It's important to not use your own name in the brutal world they live in, a statement said by Tuco himself, and yet he's constantly speaking in a pseudo third-person, naming himself in a way that reveals how much he misses the life he left behind and even regrets the life he currently leads while also, and this is very important, totally vibing with his current life of debauchery and violence.

He's us. He's me. I think when watching movies, projecting onto characters is expected and even encouraged, but it's easy/enjoyable to see ourselves in those that are untouchable. Strange. Interesting. Vague enough to be Romantically projected upon I guess. But Tuco? He's got so much stuff to him it's spilling off the sides. He's pathetic, annoying, somehow worse than Angel Eyes, and that's how I am. That's how most people are. Sure, I've got a conscience, and I can say pretty proudly I'm leading a better life than Tuco over here, but like. Hurting, a little stupid, wanting to seem like Blondie or Angel Eyes (enigmatic, stoic), but coming off as overwhelmingly talkative and annoying instead, lashing out when accidentally becoming vulnerable, a walking contradiction, feeling my faults but never actually fixing them because, on some level, I haven't taken responsibility for my own actions? Tuco. We're Tuco.

#the good the bad and the ugly #tuco ramirez #the dollars trilogy #movie analysis #literally me #sergio leone

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det-loki · 5 months

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A messy collection of my thoughts and theories for episodes one and two of 'a murder at the end of the world' :

• starting off with The Doors, already a yes from me

• this is my, hmm, sixth rewatch of both episodes? maybe more? Anyway, darby is warm colors, bill is cool. love this detail.

• The Silver Doe, silver earrings. I'm convinced Darby's earring means something. I've seen others speculate that it's reference to a hourglass. it's also similar to the logo of Andy's company.

• We meet Bill in the motel room and that is when I immediately knew I was a goner for this story. sue me, Harris Dickinson is handsome. I also love his terrible haircut

• Harris and Emma's chemistry is INSANE

• "Lee. She doesn't need my help." Oh, but maybe she does Darby. I don't trust Lee's husband in any way, shape or form

• When Darby stumbles down the (poorly made) stairs and bill asks her if she's alright? listen, i love them a whole lot. even if it's common decency to ask

• creepy fucking basement.

• bill protecting darby. BILL PROTECTING DARBY!!!

• was bill shot? did the person shoot themselves?

• I feel like importance of tattoos and meaning might come into play (darby looking at crime scene photos but also bill's and darby's)

• also during the scene where darby is being messaged by Andy's assistant, someone on reddit theorized that the letters on darbys open tabs are a code. Maybe?

• The health check before boarding the plane is raising red flags for me. Mainly the cheek swab. I dunno

• Alice Braga! You gorgeous human

• Martin reading Darby's book right in front of her is a little bit strange for a multitude of reasons but I'm definitely reading too much into most of my thoughts about it

• Darby's attention to detail is so good and such a wonderful element, considering the storyline

• Grimes.

• The closeup on Martin's nightmare on the plane. Obviously a deliberate camera choice. But whyyyy

• Flashback to Bill in the bath. I assume it's after they were confronted with the gun. Bloody rags and dirty water, Bill seems physically okay. previous point, was he shot?

• "I think this is both too much and not enough."

• Camera/Darby lingers on fisherman.

• Ray makes me nervous

• Oxygen tank to Lee's room. Strange. Food to Lee's room that Zoomer accepts, strange. Lee cleaning up the broken glass and making eye contact with Darby. very strange.

• The deep fake talk with Oliver about how you can make anyone say anything will definitely come back later. isn't audio recorded in every room or did I misunderstood that in ep 2?

• Lee and Andy are not selling me on a happy marriage. Back to maybe Lee does need Darby's help.

• Bill appearing at dinner. Was he late or early? the way bill and darby look at one another make me melt

• Also, as Bill sits down, Sian says 'definitely not him' meaning Andy didn't invite him, Lee did. And we later learn that Lee and Bill knew eachother. (how tf did darby not know that if she is such a fan of Lee. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEANNN)

• The lighting plays a huge roll. The halos above Darby and Bill at dinner

• I too would choke after seeing bill again for the first time in six years

• Lee's toast, 'to finding a way out.' And then Andy saying, 'together.' ???

• Zoomer. Robot child? Bill's kid? strange little dude nonetheless. (Zoomer doesn't/can't eat. Lee and Andy looking at one another while Zoomer and Bill play. darbys smile as she watches them. then the face bill makes after zoomer is called to sit down. and the way he responds to question of how old he is???)

• The pool scene. These people are so cliquey. yuck

• Darby punching bill and then immediately asking him for a drink. I get it. Also the way he looked at her after she punched him. Lovesick.

• Bill telling her how he loved her book, oh my God. "Really tough and fragile at the same time" fucking incredible line.

• Bill and Darby flirting

• "I need to tell you something." Insert Jennifer Lawrence clip, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

• Darby runs into Marius, the hotel manager when she goes to Bill's room. Suspect but maybe too obvious?

• Bill asking her to stay as he dies. Holding hands through the glass. Him smiling at her. It's all too much for me.

• So much blood for someone overdosing? Head wound.

Episode 2:

• Darby's book in Bill's room covered in blood. Is that Bill's copy or Martin's from the plane?

• Everyone is very insistent on getting Darby out of Bill's room.

• The tea going to Bill's room. More broken glass

• Lee comforting Darby is very nice

• Rohan (fisherman) is the only one visibly upset and reacting like a human being told about a death

• Andy and Sian are acting like Darby is overreacting about his cause of death

• Andy saying that bill wouldn't want them to go home and quit. Dude, you didn't know him. Kick rocks.

• Again, Andy and Lee are giving me bad vibes. Lee fawns around him, he speaks over her/for her

• Lu Mei seems uncomfortable when she says she'll stay, seemingly intimated by Andy or fearful of his reaction if she did say she wanted to leave. Therefore I don't think anyone is comfortable going against him. Power imbalance. Darby seems to pick up on this

• Darby going to see Bill. Her frantically asking Ray questions with obvious answers but she craves the validation that she isn't wrong about what she suspects....I'm so sad

• Bill's tattoos are so interesting and I crave meaning

• "Someone killed you."

• My knowledge of injectable drugs all comes from 90s rock musicians, so take that as you will. The needle in Bill's room is the strangest thing I've ever seen. It looks like a diabetic tester needle. And no fingerprints.

• Lee also going to Bill's room. The plot thickens (I need to re-create her outfit in this episode it's so good)

• Is Lee telling the truth about what she was actually looking for? Also her giving Darby advice. I very much like them teaming up together

• "Don't get caught."

• Is it possible that Andy/the hotel is fielding the internet? like when darby can't look up a hack for the doorbell cam. is this an ignorant question? Perhaps.

• Darby and Bill flashback! when bill offers to come pick darby up and she immediately freaks out and runs away from the conversation...I have never felt more seen or understood. me too, girl, me too.

• Do Lee and Bill having matching line tattoos on their forearms???

• Happy birthday Darby 🥺🥺🥺

• 04/14/2017 Zoomer's birthday.

• Darby has doorbell cam footage. employees have towels. noted. David on a phonecall. Bill 🥲 (not wearing his ring) Ziba hears something, looks frightened and leaves. Bill's door opens from in the inside, hallway wall is illuminated.

• Bill's smile when he meets Darby in person for the first time. I LOVE THEM!

• Creepy mask person, go away!

• the diner darby and bill meet at is called Ray's

• I believe in love at first sight because of them.

• Frank Ocean. That's all.

#a murder at the end of the world spoilers #a murder at the end of the world #bill farrah #darby hart #harris dickinson #emma corrin #brit marling

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magpiefngrl · 3 months

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8, 14 & a wildcard of your choice for the love your fandom asks, pls and thank youuuuu!! if those do not spark joy for any reason or you've done them, feel free to swap out for anything you like!! xox

Hello, hello! Thanks for the ask xx

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

I wrote a Voldemort Wins AU (The Boy Who Died) four years ago and I'd love to see more stories or art exploring that AU. There are so many juicy directions one can take it and I love me some angst. (I think there's been a few fics featuring a Voldemort Wins AU since I wrote TBWD, I should prob go track them down.) I know Voldemort Wins AU is a hard-sell, dystopian settings aren't what drarry fans tend to flock to, but I'm very much here for it.

14. the ship that always makes you smile

Oh that's actually a hard one, because drarry authors explore so many combinations of ships and rarepairs and it's very tough to choose. Also, although I love some rarepairs a normal amount, they often don't make me smile as such (prongsfoot is mostly about the angst and the sex, for example).

But you know who makes me smile, even now as I'm thinking about them? Luna and Neville. He's incredibly shy and awkward and she doesn't give a fuck about conventions: they're the cutest.

Wildcard! I used a random generator:

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life?

Oh thank you, random generator, awesome question!

Fandom has made a huge, real life difference to my life. I know I'm a bit absent now because I've learned that less is more (for me) regarding the time I spend on fandom, but the benefits have been immense.

First and foremost, I've made some very good friends. I've met several of them in real life too. I spent 4 days in Bologna with a fandom pal. I have people I chat to fairly regularly and I know I can rely on them for writing advice or just to be there when I need to vent.

Second, before fandom, I'd been writing original for a long time. Although I'd written a few short stories, I struggled with finishing a longer fic. I thought I'd never be able to do it. And lo and behold, when I fell into drarry, I completed a 36k fic! The longest completed work I'd managed back then. It gave me the confidence to know that I can finish longer works, I'm not incapable of it. I also learned what kind of writer I am. When I wrote original, I was inexperienced and I consulted a lot of websites about writing advice which is all SHIT (ask me about it) and it was one of the main reasons I'd struggled. But fanfic took the pressure of this-will-be-seen-by-agents-so-it'd-better-be-perfect. I wrote for fun and discovered my writing process along the way. This was an invaluable gift.

Third and equally important, being in fandom and writing fanfic in the heyday of a super popular ship gave me the recognition I was starved for. Writing alone in a solitary room can make one doubt whether she's any good or whether she's kidding herself. But receiving comments on my stories, knowing hundreds of eyes have seen them, possibly thousands, gave me the warmth and joy and reassurance that perhaps, if I am lucky and try hard, I can touch some people's hearts. That my writing isn't ridiculous or a waste of time or that I'm kidding myself. Again: an invaluable gift.

love your fandom asks

#inbox #drarry #love your fandom asks #voldemort wins au

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saviourkingslut · 2 years

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i am curious about how dimivain is in your head 👀 i know it tends to me kinda meme-y in the fandom i am curious how you see it!

i don't have a super strict set of hcs for them or anything, but what i do think about them is just very far removed from the way fandom usually talks abt them. i mean, i get it, there's some grounds to portray them both as classic dudebros/loser guys you'd meet in a frathouse and i don't begrudge people having their fun with that but i think it's a very shallow portrayal of both them and what their relationship could potentially be.

i mean, sylvain acting like a good-for-nothing whore is largely a front, because he's actually whip-smart, capable, calculating and caring. there's a lot of things wrong with thropes, but i do like that they decided to ditch most of the skirt-chasing to devote time to some of his character traits that get snowed under in throuses. besides that, i think it's really important to realise that sylvain just. hates himself. to the point that he has quotes in throuses war phase that sound downright suicidal. i think his carefree attitude is a part of him, absolutely - he is a jokester and he is the kind of guy to be whiney and make jokes at the expense of himself. but he also exaggerates it for the sake of hiding the morbid parts of himself from the outside world/protect himself.

as for dimitri i think the meme-ish version of him sells him so short as well. yes, he wants to eat weeds, but in my opinion that was meant to show that he tries to find ways to fix the eternal food shortage problems in faerghus as much as it was supposed to be a fun little bit. yes, he's one of the students who like training and weapons maintenance most of all, but he's not just a simple jock - he tries to investigate arundel in am because he knows something is up. he's dutiful and cares for justice and wants to do right by his people to the point of being self-destructive. he's intelligent and introspective and wants to see the best in people, though thinks that he himself is unworthy of love and admiration because he feels that the acts he committed in the past are sins that can never be washed away, though he'll spend his life atoning through ruling his people justly rather than hide away.

anyway, the thing is that i think the meme-y version of dimivain tends to skip over the complexities of their characters and the ways that they could connect to each other and try to support each other. in their own ways, they both hate themselves, though for different reasons. i think they'd do anything for others and nothing for themselves, and that they could help each other in that regard: mutually learning how to care for themselves by taking care for the other and being taken care of in return.

i think sylvain would never allow for dimitri to retreat back into himself, would go his entire life trying to make him see that he's worthy and important, not at all expendable, that dimitri shouldn't think of himself as irredeemable, that he'd take on any tasks that would lighten dimitri's burdens. i've always figured sylvain would be excellent at administrative tasks and that, in wartime, he'd excel in the role of tactician (strategy is something he actually likes). and that he'd take dimitri to do something for himself for once. he'd be gentle but firm about it, apply humour when it fits but be very, very serious when it's needed. sylvain's very wordy, and he'd show his care with them because dimitri needs to hear certain things, again and again until it sticks, but he'd also show his care and love through acts, because he's used his words for lies so many times in the past.

and i think that dimitri's sheer earnestness would be a very good counter to sylvain's lifetime of facades, that it would be difficult for him to keep his mask on when dimitri is always so honest and open. when dimitri speaks he means what he says - and they're always good things when it comes to his friends (and beloved). and with time i think sylvain could start to believe him. dimitri would see through his self-depricating humour and his facades because he's known sylvain all his life. he'd try to draw out the better parts of sylvain, his cunning and capabilities, because he knows that they're hidden there under all his posturing. and that actually making use of his skills will have sylvain feeling better about his worth in this world and to the people around him. i think being with dimitri would make sylvain want to make use of his skills because it means he can help dimitri with them, and it would make him feel worthy of dimitri's love, since dimitri himself is always giving all of himself. it wouldn't be an easy process, because trauma is a bitch and habits are ingrained, but with time? yeah, i think they'd be very good for each other.

tl;dr i think dimivain is a pairing made up of two complex and intelligent characters with their own respective difficulties who could help each other get better and i think the meme-y version of the ship sells them and their relationship kinda short.

#lmfao this got so long sorry abt that #AYY LMAO #dimivain #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #sylvain jose gautier #i have more to say but like #post already long and the thoughts kinda whisped by while i was writing so i forgot a bunch of stuff as well #asks

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lumine-no-hikari · 18 days

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #115

Up late again last night having important conversations with J. My brain is having a really rough time of it.

Well, that's okay. I got a bunch of insecurities out in the open instead of holding them in and trying to deal with them by myself. My delivery of my thoughts was clumsy, and we were both very tired, and so naturally the result was that J and I were frustrated and frightened. Thankfully, both of us work hard to be people who do not take our fears or frustrations out on other people, so instead of shutting down or getting snarky with one another, we simply kept trying to work through the things until we came to a mutual understanding. That was good.

The main crux of the issue is that my brain is mean to me. I generally feel unworthy of being loved by others (or even of being alive, most of the time), so when expressions of love or praise come my way, it's hard for me to accept them without becoming uncomfortable and shying away. As such, my response to any kind of praise or recognition has set a precedent where it becomes hard for other people to give it, because I am doing everything I can to avoid or deflect it. I'm working on it, but I come from an environment where praise was rare, and if you DON'T deny it, then you leave yourself open to accusations of being full of yourself. So, it's going to take me a hot minute to get it together and learn. But that's okay. I have time, and I can learn difficult things, even when it's uncomfortable, and the health of my relationships depends on my ability to work on the issues within me that I've put on the back burner in favor of tending to literally anyone and anything else.

Br came over today in the morning, and she will stay overnight. I was able to go over my struggles with her as well. We talked over the tea we made together. I had the maple black tea, and she had the maple herbal tea. We both sweetened ours with maple sugar and heavy cream. Here's how mine turned out:

Here's how hers turned out:

Fortunately, she was able to respond much less defensively than J did, so I came away from the interaction feeling seen and understood. Ultimately, correcting the way my brain treats me is my responsibility and mine alone, but feeling as though I am understood and supported helps me to have the strength and courage I need in order to do the necessary work to change the way I look at myself.

J and M are working from home still, so Br and I went out on a date to the Galleria 7 place. As it turns out, the empanada place is gluten free by default! So I got lunch for her, lunch for me, and lunch to bring home to J, and M didn't want anything. I got tacos. They were awesome! And I got some horchata, too, and this was also good! I'll show you:

I brought with me my small tree orb; last time we were there, the lady who runs the trinket/empanada shop expressed an interest in selling my handicrafts. I didn't know how to price it though, so I asked for suggestions. So now my little orb is amongst the other trinkets, with a price tag of $20:

…I wonder if anyone will want it.

My other orb is still drying just a little. That one will be going to the other side of the planet very soon for a person who needs it. I hope it will serve him well.

I am trying to think of things to write to you. But I am very tired and my brain isn't doing the things properly. So I guess I'll end this one here.

Hey. In the future, Sephiroth. If you're struggling with doubt, pain, and insecurity, instead of bottling it up and spending a week in a terrible place trying to handle it yourself (and failing miserably, because humans are NOT built to handle things themselves, no matter what anyone tries to tell you), you gotta talk about it to the people around you, okay? Zack is maybe a little oblivious and silly, but he's good people - one of the best. Don't struggle alone. Please. I'm sure if you set down the weapons and promise not to fight, he'd try to listen to you and understand you. So give it a try, okay?

Because… if you don't turn yourself around, Sephiroth, you're gonna get erased. Please don't get erased. If I have to get on my hands and knees and beg you not to make choices that will get you erased, I will. So come on… I'm counting on you. I'm counting on you to make it. I'm counting on you to eventually be okay.

I'll write again tomorrow. I love you. Stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

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hauntedpotat · 3 months

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I N T R O P O S T

hi 👋

My name is hauntedpotat, you can call me something related to that or Lyss! I am an AAA battery (aromantic, asexual, agender, for those who dont know), and my pronouns are xe/they/he, but I'm pretty much good with anything except she/her 👍

I am a minor, no creepy or nsfw stuff please

Shitty people FUCK OFF (you know EXACTLY who you are, and no I will not debate with you on if I should exist or not. Leave me alone. Thanks!)

Asks are cool!! Talk to Me (if you want)

I probably have adhd, idk but I'm most likely neurodivergent

I live in the US and like to make art! This blog is mainly OC and story art, art challenges, and general tumblr interactions. I have a fandom sideblog @themostuselesspotato where I post, you guessed it, fandom stuff (not specifying here, there are far to many). Outside of drawing, I also enjoy reading and most crafts.

I am currently in the process of writing/illustrating a webcomic that I plan to start releasing on webtoon this summer! The characters that I draw here will be part of it :)

I also have a pinterest, instagram (which I barely use), youtube, and twitch (I haven't done anything with the last two yet, but I plan to in the future). You can find all of this at gpdsocials.carrd.co if you're interested

Adding a cut here, important stuff is above, spewing about my life is below (lol)

I am currently going to school for graphic design, so I know how to and frequently use Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, InDesign, and Primere Pro both in and out of school. My current profile picture was made on Illustrator for an ongoing branding unit in one of my classes. I also learned how to design, cut, and press T-shirts.

On the topic of school, I also participate in band! I did summer marching band last year, and hopefully will continue to do so until I graduate. I am a percussionist, and my favorite instruments to play are bass drum, vibraphone, and this one specific marimba we have in class (no seriously, I could rant about how nice it sounds for HOURS). During marching band, I played second bass drum.

I just finished doing the Fishuary art challenge!! I plan to do MerMay and Goretober as well (yall BETTER hold me to that, I still haven't finished last year's Goretober).

Random facts about me! Idk

I can kick someone of adult height in the face if I want to (for some reason I can just kick really high)

When I was in 3rd grade I handwrote a two page informational essay about mosquitoes from memory in an hour

I have a cat! Her name is Stormy, she's 3 years old :) lmk if yall want to see pictures of her, I've got so many pictures

The only video game I've played is minecraft on a kindle fire that I won from selling girl scout cookies at the age of ten. This shitty thing can support like one world at a time and STILL crashes

Once I smashed my knee between a boat and dock at 8am bc I was running off of hot cocoa and 5 hours of sleep and thought my knee was a good cushion for the boat that was coming in at the wrong angle. Don't do that!! Hot cocoa induced decision making is bad! And boats are still very heavy even if they're very slow!!

Idk what else to write here. I'm sure I will continue to update this post, so feel free to ask me questions in my asks or in the replies

Bye! 👋

#intro post #hello everyone!!

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tomwambsmilk · 2 years

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just wanted to pop up to say thank you for pointing out logan's trauma and how it affects his relationship with kids as well as the possibility of tom's trauma. because when i started succ posting on here like 3 months ago, all the meta i saw was showing logan as a beast who manipulated his kids for fun with nothing behind it and tom as this guy who had a perfectly normal childhood and life overall but then hit his head on a concrete floor and suddenly got all this psychological issues. and i was like tf have we all watched the same show?

it just makes so much sense with a childhood emotional neglect. because his low self-esteem, extra sensitivity to rejection, him being really hard on himself, having hard time to recognize his emotions and also expressing them in the right way, as well as the fact that it's really hard for him to really speak about his true feelings (i think this is something that mattmac pointed out about the 2x10 beach scene, he said that it was really hard for tom to tell shiv how he really felt). like all of these are the signs of emotional neglect. and i don't necessarily think that his parents did this intentionally, it just often happens that parents don't see children's interests/problems as interesting or important, they'll say things like "it's not a big deal" or "you're just being dramatic", they have trouble understanding their children’s needs for love, affection, they won't praise their children for their success and also won't comfort them when they failed and even blame them for the failure, saying "you should've tried harder". and it just makes so much sense for tom? his desire to reach over the top might come from the fact that he just wants to prove himself to himself and others, wants to show that he can be richer, smarter. and i also think that his desire to get a higher social status does not come from him necessarily, but from his parents and his childhood/teenage years. like maybe someone put that “becoming rich is the most important goal in life” idea in his head? idk like this might be just me projecting too hard, and i’m not trying to justify his behavior, he’s an adult and obviously responsible for his actions and thoughts, but i think it if we’re talking about how roy siblings were affected by trauma, then we need to talk about tom’s experience too

Credit where credit is due - I think @tomwambsgirl and @reasoncourt pointed out Logan's abuse first, and I'm only piggybacking off of them :) But yeah, I've been a little uncomfy with the way the fandom understands Logan for a while, and I've debated writing about it but haven't ever really felt able to summon the words. (I'm also going to touch on Tom, but I'm starting with Logan because in some ways that's more straightforward to me).

This is maybe a good place to say that - elsewhere on my blog I've talked about Logan as a kind of Luciferian/Satanic figure in the narrative, and I really want to highlight that when I say those things I'm talking about broad narrative structures and archetypes and roles, much like when we talk about Kendall as a sort of Christ figure. There are characteristics he has that, if you step back and look at Succession through the lens of a sort of morality epic, a story about people selling their souls and becoming corrupted, he fits a certain narrative part to a T. But that's only one very broad lens through which to view Succession, and it's one that's inherently limited because it does require reducing the characters to certain roles or archetypes - it's fascinating to me, but it really shouldn't be the only read, and I really don't want people to think I'm saying Logan the man - the human character - is Satan incarnate, because it's a lot more complicated than that. If I learned anything from my literary theory classes, it's that comprehensive readings of a story require you to look at them through a variety of lenses and angles, and with Succession one of the most important lenses is that of generational trauma.

I'm speaking here from my own observations, which may be flawed, but I think that often people with visibly terrible childhoods tend to reduce everything wrong with their upbringing to the most visible fault or faults. It's a really understandable impulse! If your parents were beating you within an inch of your life, you're probably gonna spend more time thinking about that than the ways in which your parents didn't fully support your emotional growth - something which feels far less serious compared to the real physical danger you were in. Consequently, though, when they raise their own kids, they think that if they just eliminate the really obvious bad things, that should fix the situation. I've always viewed Logan as that kind of character; I think he puts his own shitty upbringing down to physical abuse and extreme poverty, and that he's always believed that if he can make sure his own children experience neither, they'll turn out okay. Except they didn't, and now they're adults he can't figure out what the hell happened. Maybe he has an inkling that he fucked it up, but he can't really acknowledge that because he feels that he did his best. Maybe he did, in fact, do his best - the ideas that "my parents did their best given their circumstances" and "my parents fell far, far short of being good parents" are not mutually exclusive. It's something people are really uncomfortable with, though, because everyone wants to believe that if they try their best it'll be okay

(As a side note, the incident with Logan hitting Roman and gaslighting him about it later has always exemplified this for me. Logan seems to really define his parenting style in opposition to 'evil uncle Noah'. I fully believe that he told himself he would never hit his kids - but then he did, not as often or as seriously as uncle Noah, but he still did, because he doesn't have the emotional toolbox to control his temper. If he's defining himself as a parent in opposition to uncle Noah, though, everything in his being and his worldview is invested in not acknowledging that or believing it to be true. When he says 'I would never do that' to Roman in the car, I think he really believes it! That's not him. He's not uncle Noah. He would never hit his children like that, so clearly they just misremembered the situation.)

There was a Tumblr post that was travelling around a couple weeks ago that stuck with me, because it spoke to something in my own experiences that really rings true. It said that, if you want to help people who are suffering, you have to make peace with the fact that they likely will not be good people. It is possible to face suffering and make choices that make you a better person, but it is very difficult, and most people do not succeed, especially if they lack support systems. Sometimes, if you and others step in to try and help them, they may become good people - but not always, and not often. And that's such a difficult reality to confront. I think we want clean narratives, split between perpetrators and victims, that are easy to digest and understand, but that simply isn't how people work. That's why generational trauma is so devastating. I think a lot about Kendall's line, "I love you but you're kind of evil," because I think that really captures it. Logan is evil, but he's also a person who is loved, genuinely and truly, even by the people he's hurt, who are also the same people he loves. That's a hard thing to wrestle with, but it's something we have to wrestle with, because it's incredibly true to the reality of these situations.

And TOM. Boy oh boy do I have thoughts about Tom. (I'm tagging @mcperaltiago in this, because months ago you sent me an ask about my thoughts on what's wrong with Tom, and that kind of turned into a creative writing project filling in some of the gaps in his backstory that I've not yet finished. However it's been haunting me that I never actually answered that, so this is essentially the more analytical answer to that question).

I absolutely can't recommend enough the book "Running on Empty" by Jonice Webb, which I think anyone who has ever felt there was something not quite right about their upbringing should read. It unironically changed my life, both in helping me understand my own issues and giving me the tools to start working on it before I was financially stable enough to pay for therapy. Her main focus is Childhood Emotional Neglect, something which she believes runs absolutely rampant in North American society, but most people are utterly unaware of, because: "it dwells in the sins of commission, rather than commission; it's the white space in the family picture rather than the picture itself. It's often what was NOT said or observed or remembered from childhood, rather than what WAS said." A lot of people who were emotionally neglected as children come from families that seem ideal - and not in the sense of 'we're doing a good job at hiding our dysfunction'. There's often nothing at all outwardly wrong with the family and the way the children are brought up.

I actually grabbed "Running on Empty" off my bookshelf to reference while I wrote this, both because I think it explains Tom to a T, but also because the information in it is incredibly valuable, and I kind of want to throw some of it out there in this context in case it strikes a chord with anybody. So this is incredibly long, and I don't fault you if you don't read through the whole thing, because I also want to use this as an opportunity just to raise a little bit of awareness about CEN for people who don't know much about it.

Webb breaks down twelve different types of emotionally neglectful parents:

Narcissistic parents take their children's mistakes personally and punish them for it, rather than offering the help their children need.

Authoritarian parents equate obedience with love, and feel personally rejected and unloved when their children disobey, which causes them to respond overly harshly.

Permissive parents appear loving to others and to their children because they avoid conflict, but this leaves their children utterly unprepared to deal with the realities of the world.

Divorced or widowed parents without strong support systems are often unable to help their children properly process the grief of losing a parent, because they themselves are struggling to manage their own grief.

Parents with addiction issues behave unpredictably, which can cause chronic anxiety and insecurity in their children.

Depressed parents who aren't receiving proper help and support in managing their illness often don't have the energy or enthusiasm required to be emotionally present.

Workaholic parents don't pay enough attention to the needs and feelings of their children.

Parents who have children with special needs, especially if the family has a poor support system, are often unable to care effectively for the children without special needs, who seem to need them less than the special needs kids do.

Parents who focus on achievement and perfection and pressure their children into doing what they want (rather than supporting what their kids want) unintentionally force their kids to squelch their own needs and feelings.

Sociopathic parents who lack the proper support in managing their illness tend to lack awareness of their children's feelings, and so can't effectively support them.

Parents who 'parentify' their children - who allow, encourage, or force their children to behave as parents in the family - unconsciously teach their children that their feelings and desires don't matter.

Parents who are loving and well-meaning but were themselves emotionally neglected as children struggle to be 'in tune' with their children because they lack a general understanding and awareness of emotions.

(It's important to remember that a lot of these parents are not bad people - otherwise, it might feel unfair to single out widowed parents, or depressed parents, or parents of kids with special needs, many of whom are genuinely trying their best. And Webb points out that experiencing those kinds of hardships do not automatically mean that a parent will be emotionally neglectful. It's very possible for parents who experience these things to stay attuned to their children, and provide them with the care and attention they need, although it's challenging and requires deliberate effort. Studies have shown that parents need to notice and respond to their children's emotional needs only 33% of the time in order for their children to grow up emotionally literate and stable.)

We get so little information about Tom's childhood, but it's possible that any one of these situations could apply. I think a lot about the exchange in "Pre-Nuptial" when Tom freaks out over "his mother dying of thirst"; yeah, he's a hyperbolic drama queen, but it's such an overreaction that it does stick out to me, especially when coupled with his mother protesting because she doesn't want to be a burden. It's only one small window, but there's something not quite right going on there, I think. Somewhere along the line Tom learned that expressing needs, emotional or otherwise, is burdensome and bad, and that if you love someone you're going to keep an eye on their needs for them so that they don't have to ask for it.

Even without knowing too much about his upbringing, we know his mother is a highly successful divorce attorney, and I think his father might be an economist? They never clarify that. But if Tom's mother was a highly successful attorney, she probably was around far less than other kids' parents were, simply because of the kinds of hours she'd have to work. His parents also have a sort of WASP-y vibe to me, especially with how they insist on paying for the wine at his wedding, and then Tom's dad can't help but let everybody know how expensive it was. Status is clearly important to them. And on top of that, WASP-y types aren't exactly known for their emotional intelligence; it's really easy for me to imagine that Tom grew up with a physically absent mother and an emotionally absent father, without any siblings and probably desperately lonely. Maybe his father taught him not to bother his mother when she was home, because she works so hard and loves them so much and 'we don't want to burden her'. Maybe Tom became somewhat parentified, and felt it was his job to look after his mother, and maybe his father too if his mother's job kept them apart for long periods of time. Maybe he felt a little bit neglected and unloved and felt guilty over it because he knew it objectively wasn't true, but he also couldn't help feeling this way. Maybe he started idealizing wealth and status as a way to prevent himself from being a burden, or because wealthy people seemed to be loved by everyone. Maybe his mother would talk about her cases at home and it made Tom fearful of all the ways a marriage could go wrong. Or maybe his parents simply came from emotionally neglectful upbringings themselves, and just didn't have the toolkit to pass on to him.

Since emotional neglect is often something you can't see in childhood, it's mostly identifiable through signs and symptoms present in adults, and Webb breaks down ten. All of them are things that everyone struggles with to a certain degree, but what sets emotionally neglected people apart is the unusual severity with which they experience it, and the degree to which it prevents them from living fulfilling lives. I'm going to break down each of them and the ways I feel like Tom exemplifies them.

The first is feelings of emptiness. Most emotionally-neglected people who come to therapy for anxiety, depression, or family-related problems eventually express empty feelings in some way. Typically the emptiness is chronic, and has ebbed and flowed over the course of their lives. At times, they might feel physically empty inside. They might be emotionally numb. They might question the meaning and purpose of life. They might have suicidal thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere. They might be thrill-seekers. They might feel mystifyingly different from other people. They may often feel like they're on the outside looking in.

This is one that's hard to pin down to a single moment with Tom, but I've always gotten the sense is somewhat omnipresent. Tom is not a man who is happy with his life, and it can't all be put down to his marital situation. We get little glimpses of it in Matthew Macfadyen's performance, especially in the first season, particularly in the way his face will kind of fall sometimes when no one's looking. We also get very muted reactions to things that must be incredibly emotionally devastating, like when Shiv asks him for an open marriage. He's clearly upset, but we know this mostly because of the absence of joy in those moments, rather than an outward show of emotion.

It's also abundantly clear that Tom feels like he doesn't quite fit in, which results in him over-compensating - trying to make sexually suggestive jokes that come out wrong, trying to be enthusiastic or affectionate and saying something strange or off-putting, and a degree of people-pleasing that's almost cloying. The irony is that this makes others view him as an outsider, which makes the whole situation worse. While I think being catapulted to the Roy's level of wealth and status made those feelings worse, I would bet that they didn't start there, and it's something that's plagued him probably for most of his life, and is a big part of why he so desperately wants to be a member of the elite.

The second major theme is counter-dependence. Emotionally neglected people are afraid of being dependent, and will go to great lengths to avoid asking for help or appearing needy. They make every effort not to rely on other people, even at their own great expense. They might have feelings of depression but not know why. They might have inexplicable, longstanding wishes to run away or simply be dead. They might remember their childhoods as lonely, even if they were happy. Others might describe them as aloof. Their loved ones might complain that they're emotionally distant. They might prefer to do things themselves, and find it very hard to ask for help. They might be uncomfortable in close relationships.

The example you cited of Tom struggling to say how he feels in 2x10 absolutely screams this to me. While at first glance we might think of Shiv as the counter-dependent one (and she definitely is counter-dependent), Tom is constantly swallowing down his emotions. When he finds out that Shiv has moved the wedding to England in 1x06 without asking him and gets upset, she responds by getting frustrated and he immediately backs off, despite the fact that this is clearly something that matters to him a lot. Throughout most of season 2 he's in varying states of emotional crisis, but he never actually articulates this to Shiv until 2x10, which is part of why it takes her so utterly by surprise. And if it wasn't for Shiv throwing him under the bus at breakfast on the yacht, I think he probably would have continued simply swallowing his misery for a long time, unable to actually ask for or even simply express his needs. He definitely is needy, and he definitely wants reassurance, but he’s afraid to openly express that, so he starts playing five-dimensional emotional chess in his marriage, trying to hint to Shiv that he needs reassurance without openly looking like he needs reassurance, and Shiv, who has her own host of issues rendering her emotionally illiterate, truly believes nothing is wrong because he hasn’t told her anything is wrong.

The third theme is unrealistic self-appraisal. It's not just low self-esteem, although that's pretty common - but emotionally neglected adults have views of themselves that are inaccurate, even if they aren't negative. It might be hard for them to identify their talents; they might over-emphasize their weaknesses; they might not know what they like and dislike; they might not sure what their interests are; they might give up quickly when things get challenging; they might choose the 'wrong' career or change careers several times; they might feel like 'a square peg in a round hole' or a misfit; they might be unsure what their parents actually think of them.

I kind of connect this to Tom's obsession with being rich. I think about 1x06 and his night out with Greg, how he feels he has to mold Greg's palette, and then they go out to a club and drink overpriced vodka for no reason other than they can, and I think - this is not a guy who has hobbies. I don't think he has any sort of personal taste beyond "expensive = good", and I think it's probable that when he started actively social climbing (probably in college) he compensated for not knowing his own tastes and likes and dislikes by just deciding to like things that were expensive and classy, because that means he has "good taste". The first time we get any sort of inkling of personal interests is when he tells Greg he bought a book on the Romans to read in prison. Other than that, his hobby is basically "doing rich bitch shit" which is not a hobby and barely a personality trait.

The fourth theme is a lack of compassion for oneself, while having plenty of compassion for others. They're very forgiving of others' foibles and flaws (at least on the surface), and they appear non-judgmental and accepting when it comes to others, while being judgmental and perfectionist about themselves. Other people might seek them out to talk about their problems, or tell them that they're good listeners; they might have very little tolerance for their own mistakes; there might be a critical voice in their head, pointing out errors and flaws; they might be much harder on themselves than others; and they might often feel angry with themselves.

Tom definitely doesn't seem to be in the category of 'easy to talk to', except - with Shiv he is. He listens to her problems and her struggles even when it hurts him deep down to do so. Again, the wedding night conversation is example number one; a lot of people would respond negatively to being asked for an open marriage on their wedding night, and maybe even angrily, and... probably wouldn't be altogether in the wrong. Changing the parameters of a relationship so dramatically - and presenting it almost as an ultimatum - immediately after making a lifetime commitment is kind of a shitty thing to do. But even though Tom is clearly devastated he responds sympathetically and compassionately, reassuring Shiv that it's okay for her to tell him that, trying hard to understand where she's coming from and getting on that wavelength... at least on the surface. Yeah, the resentment eats at him deep, deep down, but he's extending an incredible amount of grace in this situation that most people wouldn't.

And on the other hand? We all know he doesn't like himself. "I don't really like who I am, Greg," is a pretty defining moment for him. I'm not even going to bother listing examples because I think in the space of about five seconds we can all think of multiple examples of his self-loathing oozing through. (Props to Matthew Macfadyen's performance once again.)

The fifth theme is guilt and shame. If their feelings weren't validated by their parents, then they may struggle to validate those feelings for themselves, and may blame themselves for their negative emotions. They might feel depressed, sad, or angry for not apparent reason; they might feel emotionally numb; they might feel like something is wrong with them; they might feel that they’re somehow different from other people; they might push down or avoid their feelings, or hide them so others won’t see them; they might feel inferior to others; and they might feel like they have no excuse for not being happier.

At this point we start retreading old territory, because there’s a lot of overlap between this and the other themes. I’ll just say that in addition to the other stuff I’ve mentioned, Tom’s inferiority complex is pretty apparent - and he compensates for it by trying to surround himself with people he can feel superior to (like Greg, and I would argue probably even Shiv when they first got together and she was ‘such a mess’) and buy abusing the little bits of power he does have.

The sixth theme is self-directed anger and self-blame. This is distinct from shame because shame doesn’t necessarily become self-directed anger - but it can if you don’t cope with it healthily. Emotionally neglected people might get angry at themselves easily and often; they might use alcohol or drugs as a release; they might feel disgusted with themselves; they might have self-destructive episodes or tendencies; they might blame themselves for not being happier or “more normal”. Again, I think we’ve covered this with Tom in other points, although this particular theme isn’t as prevalent in Tom as it is in the Roy children.

Number seven is the “fatal flaw”, or the sense that if people really knew you, they wouldn’t like you. They might fear getting close to people; they might find it hard to open up to even their best friends; they might expect rejection around every corner; they might avoid initiating friendships; it might be hard for them to keep conversations going; they might feel that if people get close to them, they won’t like what they see.

I think we see this most dramatically in Tom’s relationship with Greg, who I think genuinely is Tom’s best friend. First off, Tom seems to have 0 other friends. Not only do we never see him spending time with non-Roys, but he and Greg gravitate to each other in the background of every scene, even when there are other people in the room who Tom has known and worked with longer. I think he feels comfortable with Greg precisely because of the power imbalance between them, which means that even if Greg doesn’t like Tom he can’t actually say it, and Tom can pretend this is the same as genuine friendship. But even with Greg we never see him getting open or vulnerable until 3x04, and even then gestures of affection are wrapped up in threats of violence - “I would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat”. Right up until the forehead kiss in 3x07, he makes a conscious effort to keep Greg at arm's length, emotionally.

Number eight is difficulty nurturing oneself and others. They might come across as distant, cold, or arrogant; they might think others are too emotional; people might come to them for practical advice but not emotional support; they might feel uncomfortable when someone cries in their presence, or might be uncomfortable crying themselves, especially in the presence of another person; they might not like the feeling that someone needs them, and they might not like feeling needy. I'm not going to spend too much time on this one because I think it applies to Tom a little bit, but for less than other characters, and the limited ways it does apply to him we've covered already.

Number nine is poor self-discipline, because their parents didn't set and enforce rules and expectations. They might feel lazy; they might procrastinate; they may struggle with deadlines; they may overeat, overdrink, oversleep, or overspend; they may be bored with the tedium of life; they may avoid mundane tasks; they may get angry at themselves for how little they get done; they may be underachievers; they may have poor self-discipline; they might be disorganized, even if they know they have the capacity to do better. I'm not going to spend too much time on this one either, because it's the only one I think doesn't apply to Tom at all (at least not textually; it's possibly true but I would have to read in things that aren't actually there in the show). The Succession character that I think does exemplify this one the most is actually Greg, who I think was also emotionally neglected, maybe in a far more obvious way than Tom.

The last one, and maybe the biggest and most consistent, is 'alexithymia', which refers to a deficiency in knowledge about and awareness of emotion. People with extreme forms of alexithymia find their own emotions, and those of others, utterly indecipherable. They might have a tendency to be irritable; they may seldom be aware of having feelings; they might be mystified by others' behaviour; when they do get angry, it may be excessive or explosive; their behaviour might seem rash to themselves and others; they may feel fundamentally different from other people, or like something is missing inside of them; and their friendships may lack depth or substance.

Beyond the stuff we've previously mentioned, I think the biggest examples of this for Tom are the safe room and the compliment tunnel. Both in terms of irritability and explosive anger, for obvious reasons - but also because in both scenes we see Tom wrestling with intense emotions that he clearly doesn't understand. In the safe room the closest he can get is that it 'isn't a good feeling', and when he's talking to Greg afterwards there's an air of perplexity, like he's not entirely sure why he reacted the way he did. As absurd as it sounds, I really think he doesn't know - he isn't drawing the connections between the situation with Greg and his unresolved feelings around the open marriage, and his fear of abandonment. It's a similar situation in the compliment tunnel, where he's in utter misery and has absolutely no idea why. He feels that he shouldn't be miserable, and he's kind of angry at himself for feeling miserable, and so he blames it on the drugs - but it's clear to the viewer that at most the drugs have enhanced the deeper feelings of dissatisfaction and resentment that he's been burying for months.

I won't go on for too much longer because this is... excessively long already, but I do want to briefly acknowledge that these characteristics plague all the Succession characters to varying degrees, because, while not all emotional neglect is emotional abuse, emotional abuse inherently includes emotional neglect. I wanted to highlight Tom specifically because I think he exemplifies the epidemic of invisible emotional neglect, which can sometimes plague people for decades before they or their loved ones realize something is wrong.

And since this is a lot of depressing shit, I want to also highlight that these are definitely things that can be worked on, both individually and in relationships! I want to mention a show I've been watching recently called "Couples Therapy", a Showtime docuseries that follows several real-life couples working through issues in therapy. (I was worried it would be sensationalized or exploitative, but it isn't either - all the couples have talked about it being an overwhelmingly positive experience, and are happy with how the show portrayed things in the end.) Some of the couples are working through really intense, deep-seated issues - some of which are so severe that I went into early episodes going "hey, maybe they should just get divorced". And some do - but a lot of them actually slowly start working through them and substantially improving their marriages, and it's actually incredibly inspiring and hopeful to watch. Given that 'Succession' focuses so much on dysfunction that spirals worse, I feel like 'Couples Therapy' is a nice palate cleanser, showing you that struggling with these issues does NOT mean you're unlovable and your relationships are doomed, so I highly recommend!

#this is so much longer than I initially intended #if you read the whole thing - bless #also I didn't mention here some of the strategies for overcoming childhood emotional neglect bc it felt like a tangent #but if people want to know I can make another post #I highly recommend the book but I also get that money can be tight and I want everyone to have this info!

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morganupstead · 1 year

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I just wanted to touch on something you’ve mentioned in a previous response, the power we have as viewers. I work in research at a TV network and networks (and probably the writers too) don’t care if you are hate watching a show or miserable, they only care that you are watching. What people are saying on social media isn’t going to change anything, in fact networks only care that you are talking about it, regardless of whether comments are good or bad. The way to get them to take notice and rethink things is to stop watching (on NBC or peacock). For me it’s an easy decision with the last episode, they have completely ruined my favorite TV character and gone against 10 years of character development. And not only can I not buy what they are trying to sell which is literally their job to make me believe the storyline, I am getting angry and depressed watching it. And yes the ratings have gone down throughout the season but that is the case for nearly every show these days (Rookie being an exception and we all know why that has been seeing atypical week to week ratings increases). PD is tied for the season’s top broadcast drama so unless it falls from that rank to say #5, it is not going anywhere anytime soon because it’s a top program in relation to its competition.

I actually appreciate your expertise in this, because a lot of what I've said in the last few days has been purely based on my own gut instincts. I know what I know from a fan's perspective and my own experience.

I think that the *hate watching* term you mentioned really sticks with me because for this entire season, I've just been watching this show like I'm going through the motions. Compared to the past I've never enjoyed this show less than I have in the last few months. Since 10x03 I felt very conflicted because it felt really jarring to just stop watching my favorite show. Despite having so much anxiety and nervousness every single Wednesday just to watch a tv show, I still continued to do it because there was a part of me (however small) that still had hope that it would get better.

Watching Voight berate Hailey every chance he gets, and her work herself down to nothing was not easy to watch for me, mostly because the idea that a woman has to bury her feelings in work in order to cope with hard times is a stereotype I'm just never going to be willing to stand by. This is like the bare minimum of things that have bothered me this season.

I think we have this mental block at times because we love this show and everything that we have seen over 10 seasons so we feel tied to it. I know it might be strange to say but when you love a show and it becomes a comfort and escape, walking away from is jarring. Even if it's hurting you more than it's helping you, and over time I've had to learn this myself.

I think I've made the decision to not watch live, at least for the time being. I will keep up here and on Twitter and maybe watch on a streamer at a later date if I feel like it but I'm not going to go out of my way to make sure I'm home to watch it anymore. The cost-benefit analysis doesn't come out in my favor right now however I manipulate the data.

Not everyone is going to make the same decision as you are me, and I think that is entirely fair. But right now I find it extremely important for everyone to really think about your power as a viewer and how you are choosing to use that power. We aren't as powerless as we are made to think we are, and we certainly have more of a choice than we remember.

#chicago pd #upstead

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titanicfreija · 10 months

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"So unrelated to everything else, I learned how to do wood-burning."

Sunny deliberately flickered at her guardian to express her question.

"Okay, well, you told me to find an art I liked. Sort of. You said find a thing to do and then suggested sculpting, anyway, and so I went to Thomas, 'cos he's the arty one, and I told him what you wanted for me and he took me down to the City, and he showed me these marketplaces where people who do the art shit all sell their things, and-- I didn't realize there were so many kinds of... Things, stuff you could do."

"Mediums," Sunny said, wishing she liked this conversation more. "Anything can be a medium."

"Yeah! And how you use it as one. But, Thomas took me around and... I don't like being all awe-striking most of the time, but everyone was real excited to let a guardian try their stuff, even before I paid them. I tried sculpting, and you were right, I liked it and found it natural, but it reminded me of my hammers and grenades, and I knew you didn't mean for that to be what I did with it."

Sunny chirped, but didn't say anything, so Freija continued.

"So we went to just about everything that looked interesting. There's a whole corner for the Eliksni. A weaver, two scrap-sculptors and one who dances out front when I went. Space for more. Crowd was thinner over there, so I made sure to stay longer, watch the dancer and weaver for a while. The weaver-- Eliksni and their manual dexterity. Got a scarf, you can just look yourself later.

"And I did try the scrap, and the dancer tried to teach but I don't have enough arms, and those were kinda important.

"And I tried painting, and I tried sculpting, like I said, I tried like six other ways of making pictures. Pencils, stencils, pastel... Stuff, there were like three things with that word about it. I did not try singing, we know I have fun but do not do well, and I have no intention of fixing that.

"I did try a couple of instruments. The bow-using string ones were my favorite, but I was best with a horn. Liked the drums but was constantly worried I was going to break them. Strum strings were my least favorite. The breath-- ah, I remember, the wind instruments were good but surprisingly hard sometimes? I remember coming away wondering about the ways people come up with to make noises. Lots of them had regional histories, but so many were alike, even from hot places."

Sunny glanced at Freija and felt her light flicker again. "Would you like to do that again?"

"Huh?"

"Go into the city? See... Normal? Mortal? Living people?"

"You're sounding more and more like me. I know what you mean. Non-guardians. I hadn't thought about it."

"Did you like it?"

"Yeah."

"Then why not do it again?"

Freija shrugged.

"We can visit the City again. Artist alley and all."

Freija seemed puzzled at the idea, for some reason. "Sounds good," she agreed. "Oh, but, so, we got to this one with wood-burning, which wasn't what it sounded like, but was still really neat. And I wanted to try it, but I ended up doing it my way. Which is basically finger painting with heat, but using different parts of my hands, and using Light. I drew my sun, first, and your flower on your main shell, cos that oblong shape is easy with my little finger, and I turned that into a drawing... Etching? of you. I could never draw your winter lotus, that wonky line of your petals and pointy end threw me off, but burning the shape with my fingers and fingernails worked really well. Singed a Hareball shell right next to it. Even got different shades of char going to look like the color transition. I'll show you when we get home."

Sunny chirped again.

"I kept a plank to practice on. Thomas thought it was funny. He asked if I'd use my hammer. I tried for my face after that, but the only feature I got right was my tattoo. Do you like doing art stuff? Have you ever tried?"

"I doodle with my shell points and I dance," she murmured. She hadn't done either in a very long time. Maybe since Freija.

"I've seen you dance sometimes, there's been music and you'll do that little throb bounce with your pieces, but I'm pretty sure that's not what you mean. How do you doodle with your shell?"

This definitely didn't happen since before Freija. "I would find flat or smooth places and impress on them, like in sand or dust. Murals of things I'd seen, mostly animals eating or hunting."

"Wanna do it again? We can get a tray for sand or paint or ink or something. And I know I don't dance and I remark on the moving all the time, but you wouldn't be you without it and I'd love to see you dance."

Sunny hadn't thought of it in a long time, and now understood Freija's confusion around visiting the market again.

"That sounds nice."

#destiny 2 #d2 #ocs #writing #freija #scribble #sunny

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scarlettlillies · 10 months

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Sorry I'm kinda late to this but 💞 and 🌿 for the writer asks? Also 💌 but only if you're comfortable with that of course ;v;

No worries! You're actually the first person to send me an ask about this! :D

From this ask meme

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

That's a tough one! All of them are pretty important to me but I think I'd have to pick the plot. I often go into my stories with just a vague idea of what I want to happen so it's very common for me to write my sections out of order. I then try to find a way to tie the pieces together, either through worldbuilding, extra prose, or new plot points. Sometimes it works, other times not so much!

🌿how does creating make you feel?

I feel many different things. There's a lot of positive feelings like joy and excitement. I daydream so much about the things I want to make! But my anxiety takes over very quickly and the desire for perfectionism keeps me from finishing anything. I nitpick at every sentence and I've tossed out stories at the moment when something goes wrong. There have definitely been times when I didn't feel good enough to create the things I wanted. It's very difficult to get out of that mindset. :c

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I recently just started writing again! I'm starting slow so I revived a 10+ year-old story and turned it into a ficlet! I'm hoping I can post it within the next few days. It's just a simple fic about Est and Ned bonding over gardening. Whether their relationship is platonic or romantic is really up to the reader. It still needs some cleaning up so please ignore anything wonky. ;w;

No matter how many times Netherlands stopped by Estonia’s home, it was always a shock to see him covered in dirt.

Their friendship was very new. His impression of Estonia was slick, neat, and modern. When their paths would cross, he was always well-dressed in expensive suits and noticeably owned the latest devices available on the market. Estonia seemed to be stunned when Netherlands shared his observations about him over coffee. It was their first time sharing a table together during a brief morning recess at an EU meeting in Paris. Estonia admitted he had a bad habit of changing his devices regularly and was struggling to break it. Being known as an IT nation was important to him. He had convinced himself that being seen with a device that was more than a few years old would tarnish his reputation. His clothing, however, he insisted was fairly cheap. He was no different than anyone else; he shopped at one of the local malls nearby his home and bought what was within his price point. Netherlands found his words hard to believe but when he wanted to press him for more questions, they were called back to continue with the day’s agenda.

That was some time ago. Five? Maybe ten years ago? He doesn’t quite remember. Time was always a strange concept for their kind anyhow.

Over their short time together though, Netherlands has learned more things about him. He had an interesting palette for alcohol, was a natural when it came to music and technology, liked the outdoors, but most importantly he was business-orientated. He knew how to sell you on anything—whether it was a wacky dish at his favourite restaurant that you just had to try out or you needed help selling your hand-made crafts at the local marketplace—making a quick buck seemed to come naturally for him. Netherlands liked that in a man.

But when he found out that Estonia liked to garden, he was skeptical. They had been sharing drinks in a Brussels jazz bar after a long meeting and thought Estonia was just trying to make conversation. He didn’t look the type (then again neither did he), especially to those outside of his main friend group. Even when Estonia shared his knowledge on botany, he chalked it up to just being the intelligent guy that Estonia was known for.

“You should come to my place in the spring! I think you’ll like the setup that I’ve got.”

He took him up on that offer. To his surprise, Estonia was correct. He definitely liked what he saw.

#Asks #replies

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ivdiaries · 11 months

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So earlier, I watched "Bangbang Con" one of BTS' Festa celebration for their 10th anniversary. It was my first ever BangBang Con as a baby army. I laughed, danced, sing, and cried a lot earlier but overall I really had fun.

I've only been an army for a year now, but this is my 2nd Festa since I started stanning them around May 2022, and was able to witness June 2022 Festa where I thought they're going to break up as a band/will be on hiatus. (TW: June 2022 Festa dinner)

I really did cry that time during their June 2022 Festa dinner even though I was a fan for a month then, because I thought they're breaking up for good - only to realize that they have to embark on their journey as solo musicians, even only for a little while, then to complete their mandatory military service, and hopefully come back stronger together by 2025.

I never really expected this from myself though because when I was younger, I wasn't really into anything KPop. I don't hate it at that time don't get me wrong, I just didn't see myself liking it plus I always thought I'll never understand korean anyways - but fast forward to now, I can read hangul (I only understand the translation of basic words, I still have to learn the language yet), and a big simp for Bangtan Sonyeondan (also known as BTS).

(L-R) Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook, Jung Hoseok

As soon as I got into KPop which 2 of my bffs highly influenced me with, I started collecting their merch such as albums, photocards, photofolios - I am a big Jeon Jungkook bias (my biases are Jungkook and Yoongi, bias wrecker is Taehyung) to the point I even bought this exact Nike Jordan shoes he was wearing from their PTD concert!

I also downloaded important KPop apps such as WeVerse, VLive (we miss you), Stationhead, BTS In The Seom (which I am very much addicted to before) - voting apps even! I also bought fan merch items such as shirts, jackets, bucket hats, and bags. I attend cup sleeve events sometimes, then I got into Twitter BNS (I don't really sell though, I only buy/trade photocards), and the most vital part of all KPop life - STAN TWITTER. (Yes, the profile below is my stan twt account)

Yes I am on army stan twitter. It is the best and the worst part of being a KPop stan. Most days they love you, most days they hate you but on both days I'm paid though HAHAHAHA.

My friend who has been a KPop stan ever since she was a little girl told me not to enter stan twitter because it can really be toxic - which is true as I've witnessed it already. But one of the perks of being on stan twitter is that it feels like a community, a safe space for you to declare how much you love and adore your ult bias group (mine being BTS), and just tweet your appreciation towards your fandom/favorite group. Also, to support them by voting, buying, and streaming their old/new releases.

Yes, there are days where in stan twitter can be too much, but at the end of the day it's still a safe space for me to express how much I appreciate my idols without being judged by people who hates KPop or people who aren't really into it.

So, going back - I watched BangBang Con earlier and I cried a lot because I realized how much I love BTS. I already know BTS way back, but I didn't become a fan until last year. I do feel some regret not knowing them when I was younger, but you know what they say, you meet them when you need them the most.

The relationship between me and BTS may be parasocial, but BTS did help me a lot. So let me tell you how I met them.

Last year, around May, I started using Facebook reels whenever I get bored watching KDramas or any series in particular. I deleted my TikTok app then so I decided to just watch through FB reels just to get me entertained until I have the energy to continue watching whichever series I was watching at the time. I stumbled across BTS videos a lot but I always scroll up because I wasn't a fan then.

Until I came across a clip of this VLive of Taehyung, Jimin, and JHope eating (this was after their Permission To Dance concert in Las Vegas) on FB reels laughing on a "Yoongi, marry me" comment.

The "Yoongi marry me" line has been a long standing inside joke of BTS. At first, since I wasn't really familiar with any of the members, when JHope read the comment and the maknaes (youngest) laughed while they were eating, I really thought he's Yoongi - until I was able to memorize their features and names, I realized that Yoongi isn't even on this Ppyong live.

I slowly became interested then with BTS. Whenever I scroll through my FB reels or Instagram reels, a lot of BTS clips from their shows such as Bon Voyage, DalBang (Run BTS), In The Soop, Bangtan Bomb, and etc. were already plaguing my account. Not until I saw this POV edit of Jungkook using PSY and Yoongi's "That That" that really got me locked into BTS.

Since then, I already became a hardcore Jungkooker - saving his photos and videos left and right, trying to get to know details about him by researching about him - but mostly I got to know him by watching clips on Facebook/Instagram reels.

Since most of Bangtan videos and clips are really funny, whenever I get curious as to what happened to the whole thing - I immediately search it on Youtube. Until my friend told me to watch "Run BTS", bangtan's variety show. At the time, it was only available on VLive, but you can watch it now in Youtube ;). Since I started watching DalBang, I fell in love with the tannies more. VMinHope opened the door, Jungkook closed it, but BTS locked it.

Until then, I became one of BTS' biggest fan. There was never a day where I don't talk about BTS or go crazy about them especially when they release new songs. I always see to it that I'd buy their new albums (of course I save up for it or make sure I still have extra money to buy one), and watch their content - maybe not on a daily, but whenever I have the time or whenever I feel like it.

I'm not being OA, but BTS really did help me heal a lot. I know I did all the work, but the tannies really became my inspiration to do better and be better. I know they're just 7 men from South Korea who doesn't even know I exist, I wasn't even there when they debuted in 2013, I can't even attend Min Yoongi's AgustD tour in Bangkok at all because it got sold out immediately, I haven't watched them (OT7) perform live, I do have 10 years of content to catch up on - but the more I got to know bangtan, the more I adore them. The more I listen to their songs and understand the meaning behind each lyric, the more I love them.

I cried a lot while watching BangBang Con because they made me feel like I have them to lean onto. When the world seems to big and wide and I feel alone, they make me feel that I'm not alone. When my emotions get the best of me, they can turn all those feelings around.

I may not see them or touch them or even talk to them, but I hope they know how many people they've saved. And I'm one of them.

BTS will forever hold a special place in my heart. Yeah, I may not have been there during their debut in 2013, I may not have experienced their HYYH era, or Wings era, or HYYH era, or Butter era - but as Yoongi said, "don’t feel regretful that you weren’t there since our debut. the day when you first met us, is the day we debuted."

Bangtan Sonyeondan saved me and healed me. And I will forever be grateful for them.

Borahamnida! Apobangpo! 💜

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kyle-reviews · 1 year

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Contagion Review

The movie Contagion struck me hard from the very beginning. Up to date, I haven’t watched anything this close to what I've experienced in the past. Unlike most films, Contagion has a lot more meaning than just being a movie. It broadened my horizons about the ongoing pandemics and how the governments manage to control it, what is going on behind the scenes, and what things we are yet unaware of. Aside from the pandemics-related issues, the movie also teaches us lessons about the importance of family and valuing our time together. The movie’s narrative and pace was also interesting, starting from Hong Kong, moving to America, and flash backing to a few third-world countries. It's like a pandemic-focused world tour without ever having to leave the couch!

With the movie having one of my favourite actors Matt Damon, my opinion might be a bit biased, however his performance was flawless, and he seemed fully immersed in Mitch Emhoff's role. In the scene when Mitch learns that his wife has passed away, he uses a defensive mechanism to deny what's going on that is quite captivating, as shown by his facial reactions and gestures. Throughout the story, there was always a continuous beat of music that was extremely absorbing and increased my heart rate whenever someone was about to spread the virus. When it came to diegetic sounds, I often heard a subtle siren echoing in the background, which made the movie seem more realistic to me. For instance, during the scene when everybody was rushing to their homes, it was the siren that created a sense of urgency and panic.

I felt that the movie gave off a melancholy atmosphere and mood, with dim lights and shadows. There is a strong apocalyptic feeling evoked by the movie's lighting, which I felt similar to what I felt during the most recent pandemic I was affected by, the covid. People were breaking into grocery stores, raving, roaring, and stomping as if they were in the midst of an apocalyptic event. Everything was perfectly put together to make us feel like we are a part of that pandemic, while provoking a sense of sympathy for the people who were in that situation and were desperate to get the vaccine. At the end of the movie, I think the climax of the film occurs when they show how the virus had been deliberately planned and created before it was released. As Mr. Cupit says, health organizations make a lot of money selling vaccines, so doing this unethical job and risking a human's life is probably in their best interest.

Contagion is a masterpiece that's both terrifying and enlightening. There is no way to overstate how important it is, and it's a testament to how cinema can educate and inform. I've become more aware of the risks our society faces and the need for collective action to prevent them (especially in the case of pandemics). Among other things, Contagion taught me that prevention is key, and that the most effective way to respond to a pandemic is through early detection, containment, and mitigation measures. Anyone looking for a gripping and insightful look into one of the biggest threats to humanity should watch this film. That's a 8.5/10 for me :)

#Contagion #IDC4U #Film-Review #Writing

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solidream · 3 years

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Heyy cuties! I see these cute post alll the time and I wanted to be on my "Real advice girl sh!t" too.

Recently I've been on a journey to find myself and be my best self. I know things like this can be totally lame sometimes.. Especially when you're in it alone but fear not cuties! It's so many people out there feelin' just like you (and me) so let's get this post poppin' babes!

1. Like the great saint Kashdoll once said "He For Everybody!" and that goes for growth too.

* Think about the company you keep!

If people you hang around are constantly causing problems and cause more harm than good... "baby girl you to drop themmm!"

*Reconsider your actions!

Think about how you treat yourself and others you care about. Is this really the you, you want to be?

*Change your surroundings and maybe even your style.

Oh I think I like that so let's speak on it!

2. Find your PERSONAL style!

*Look around at new places to shop or ways to be more creative with what you have. If your closet feels like it needs a re-up like Nicki Minaj's second studio album MAKE IT HAPPEN! If your low on funds I got you.

~Try selling old clothes on Depop.

~Flip your clothes into something new!

~Thrift and second hand shop or look for sales and coupon codes.

~learn to sew or crochet! (making your own designs can be fun and exciting for unique pieces in your wardrobe)

* Find some inspiration! Fashion is seriously ALL around you! Anything can spark a fresh new idea and don't be afraid to think outside the box. If you're scared to try something out give it a chance you never know how you may like it.

~Download pinterest or Tiktok!

I personal find these apps to be extremely helpful when finding inspiration for new looks I want to try. There's so much information just waiting to be found and you should totally check it out.

~Experiment!

Put on that lab coat babes because it's about to get crazy! Look at the clothes you have and think of new combos! Mix up patterns, try layering, and def get into to it with accessories.

~Try Everskies!

Oh yes! If you've been around the virtual doll worlds (stardoll, mattel dress up games on your elementary school's computer, Imvu and even doll divine) this is right up your alley! Everskies is perfect for making new looks. And it's a great way to showcase your ideas and even make new friends.

~Tumblr!

Yes miss mamas I know you're already here and that's how you're reading this. Pay attention gworl! Tumblr is full of hidden gems and lot's of things you haven't discovered yet. After tumblr's little clean up things seemed lost but I like to believe its getting back on track. There's lots of places to discover and find new fashion and even subcultures. Don't let yourself be stuck in a box check out new places and new tags!

3. Next caller! Next Caller! Let's talk about your room!!!

*DECORATE!!!! I cannot be anymore clear in that. If you have a space to decorate do it! Here's my top tips for you best room!

~Look at your space and brainstorm!

Take note of the size of your room and even look at the furniture you have in it. If you have a small room try to place your furniture to have a more spacious look or even downsize your bed if you can.

If you lack closet space try looking for clothing and shoe racks. Think of better ways to store things and try not to keep (bad) clutter or boxes.

~Choose a theme.

No, you do not have to have a strict cookie-cutter bedroom you saw in a generic lifestyle post. Think of things you like and see if there's something like that you can use in your room.

♡category breakdown♡

If you love plushies or stuffed animals totally get some for your room they make any space adorable.

Try out posters or even make a photo wall. Print out some images or go get images printed that you like. (freeprints is a great app to get your pictures for your wall and yes it is actually free your first purchase)

~Get some decor!

Decor is very important and easy to find you can put absolutely anything in your room. (Something that brings back cool memories, something you splurged on because it looks cool, something gifted to you, just anything that makes you room your happy place)

~Make the most of it!

At the end of the day with the way the world is now your room is where you spend most of your time. So why not make it your palace. Make it a safe, clean, healthy and positive space. Take a day out of your week to deep clean and keep it fresh. If the week got totally hectic and a mess and your room got the worst of it. Take the time to get it back on track!

4. Be unapologetically you! (and love yourself)

*In the name of our Icy big sister, muva, cousin, homegirl or All together queen Diamonté Quiava Valentin Harper (miss Saweetie) ! You betta tap in! I KNOW DAS RIGHT!

~Don't be afraid to live your truth and speak your mind.

Be a boss! There's is nothing wrong with being madly in love with yourself. Whoever you are, where ever you started and came from, no matter what color, size or age! Always know you are that BITCH!

If anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise don't take it to heart and don't let it get to you. I know that's easier said than done but don't ever give someone that much power over you.

~Self care!

Cleanse your skin daily and try to have an easy reliable skincare routine.

Do your hair and paint your nails.

Pick out some cute pjs. If you are lounging around the house often try to buy some cute lounge sets. and get ready even if you are just lounging.

Journal! Sometimes we just need to get things off our chest and feel we can't tell anyone. Journaling is a great way to let it out. If you feel a actually book journal isn't private enough download google docs and drive. It's safely on your phone and it has a great passcode system.

Fuel your body! Eat and drink good things. Mental health can actually have a lot to do with you diet. You can feel a lot more tired and drained if your aren't getting what you need. Cooking and trying new recipes can be fun and exciting!

Work out! Working out has been given a bad name due to body shamers but it's actually got more benefits than weight management. It can help you feel happier, more energized, and even make your body more firm. It can be a really great experience if you find fun new ways to exercise. You can try so many routines like dancing (twerk it out), martial arts, skating, bike riding, walking to explore, yoga, and so much more.

5. Hair and Makeup!

~Try out new hair colors and styles!

Wigs are your friend! It's a great way to switch it up and protect your natural hair. You can also test out new looks without the commitment.

there's lots of ways to style wigs but if wigs aren't you thing... Try color clip ins! tracks can be found in the beauty supply for very low prices in tons of colors and they are able to take heat. you can also find clips to sew on. If you go this route you can have so many color combos and go all out and its much more versatile.

Try hair accessories! There's so many things you can use to spice up you hair. there's clips, scrunchies, hair jewels, pom pom hair ties, and anything you can think of!

Remember there's way more to hair than middle part 30 inches (no shade)

~ makeup! We all remember sunset eye shadow and concealer brows (again no shade) but make up is also whatever you make it. There is no right and wrong way to do it at the end of the day.

Try new lash colors and even new brow colors. Get creative! try new looks you've seen or maybe even come up with your own.

See what looks good on your face and what you like and ALWAYS take some pics and go all out!

Okay dolls I hope that was a good read for you all and it helped! Feel free to reblog and share! If you tried any of these let me know! Lots of love forever and always.

~Soliza

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