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lunaastoir · 3 years

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fluff/relationships w the mondstadt crew

characters included: diluc, kaeya, and jean

gn! reader as always <3

tw: fluff??? domesticity??? crack??? ideal relationships w people who will never be real??? also mentions of alcohol!

an: so i’m back w a sequel to my “fluff/relationships w the liyue crew” since you guys seemed to really like it <3 thank you my heart is literally melting 😩 this post was getting too long so i excluded some of the characters but expect a part. 2 (more like part 3 but part 2 to the mondstadt version)!

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diluc

man. this MAN.

that’s it, that’s the headcanon.

he would literally be the most doting lover in the softest ways

SUCH a soft romantic like you thought you knew love??? nah this man will show you what love is

will constantly leave you things around the winery to convey his silent thank you’s and appreciation for you putting up with him being busy for most of the day

it’s always the most thoughtful things ever too like-

you mentioned how nice it would be to have some fresh lemonade with the hotter weather outside but it was too late in the day to actually go to the market in search of fresh lemons

the next day you walked downstairs only to be greeted with a pitcher of cool lemonade with a side of lemon bars

there was a note attached to the handle of the pitcher <3

“i recall you mentioning how lemonade would be perfect for the warmer weather so i decided to make some for you this morning. i hope it’s still cool by the time you drink it. love, d”

pls sir your hand in marriage

he secretly loves it when you usher him to bed after waking up in the dead of night to see him working by candlelight on reports

soft hands on his cheeks gently whispering about how, it’s been far too long and come to bed, darling and there will be time for this in the morning

his protests are light given the dark purple hues under his crimson eyes but he’ll still make a little fuss

don’t let this man fool you tho he’s so so touched that you care enough to check up on him and drag him to bed!!

sometimes on the days he has a bit more free time, the two of you will quickly grab your dinners and race to the highest spot in the winery to watch the setting sun

these moments are always filled with laughter, something you’ve found you’re easily able to pull out of diluc, simply because it’s you

uncontrollable sobbing

he would let you paint his nails black like the angsty man he is

frankly he would let you do anything to him if it makes you happy <3

ok but wait diluc w bLACK NAILS?? AND RINGS??? i would die on the spot ⚰️

on the topic of makeup, this man is surprisingly really good w it

i like to think he learned after practicing on kaeya when they were younger bc kaeya was really into makeup

you found out after babysitting klee one day and trying failing to draw eyeliner on the sweet girl after her “big brother ‘bedo!”

you hastily grabbed some wipes, gently wiping off the messed up design before attempting to dive back in

diluc however, had some down time so he decided to check up on his favorite chaotic duo

only to be met with a pile of dirtied makeup wipes, your frustrated expression, and klee’s growing jitteriness

swiftly moving to your side, he quietly asked if you needed help

you glanced up quizzically before handing him the eyeliner, already looking around to find more makeup wipes when this inevitably goes wrong

to your utter surprise tho the eyeliner is perfect??? two perfect winged lines??? in less than a minute??? WHAT

you just stood there like 😦 before diluc got back up and handed you the eyeliner

you were short-circuiting, klee was ecstatic, diluc was worried about you

ok last thing abt diluc

crack! warning but the both of you like lowkey pranking kaeya

for diluc it’s revenge on his annoying brother; for you it’s good - natured sibling rivalry fun

every time the two of you see kaeya, one of you always swipes something of his

small things really, it could be a pen or a handkerchief

one time, diluc swiped kaeya’s spare eyepatch and from the looks of it, kaeya’s only spare black eyepatch bc he was frantically looking for it yk he’s desperate when he even asked diluc if he saw it

the two of you spent an hour nearly laughing your asses off

all in all, life w him is so sweet

kaeya

pretty boy? pretty boy.

while i can’t guarantee stability, life would never be boring w this man that’s for sure

piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides

he LOVES it, the feel of you on his back while he’s walking around mondstadt most likely carrying you to your commission

he finds it comforting especially since he can hear the rumble of your voice against him while you recount stories, or just babble on about everything under the sun

he is SO dramatic so obviously when y’all reach the site of the commission he has to kill all the monsters even tho the both of you agreed to split it up evenly

he makes quick work of his set before stealing some of yours much to your chagrin

you scold him but can you really be mad at him when he looks drop dead gorgeous freezing the hilichurls the answer is no, no you cannot be

oh my god ok wait-

he does this thing where he tries to spook you in public

so say you’re getting groceries at the mondstadt general store

you round the corner just minding your own business, looking around, taking in the sunshine

and suddenly you just hear someone drop in behind you but before you can register anything you hear a soft “boo” and hands circle your waist

you jump SIKE let’s be honest you shrieked

meanwhile kaeya’s just laughing his ass off

you can hear his rich peals of laughter while you attempt to regain your bearings

he does this so often you SHOULD be used to it but you really aren’t bc mans is SNEAKY-

he cards his fingers in your hair whenever you’re speaking

he doesn’t know why, it’s just a cute habit and he finds the feel of his fingers in your hair soothing

oH on the topic of comfort, kaeya really likes resting two fingers on the back of your neck???

ik he seems like the type to throw his arm around your shoulder which yes he totally is but during more serious conversations his hand automatically seeks out the warmth of your neck

your neck feels amazing especially during the warmer months due to his chilly fingers contrasting with your warm skin

he likes that he’s able to access such a vulnerable part of you and you would willingly let him

HE GETS YOU MATCHING OUTFITS

no i will NOT take criticism on this i just kNOW he’s that type of guy

it would be those stupid “i’m his” and “they’re mine” sweatshirts like BYE

it’s so cringy but for some reason it’s oddly adorable and you truly despise it but you can’t seem to say no whenever he asks

you pretend to ignore the look of pity diluc throws your way whenever he sees you like this

kaeya really loves accessories so i think he would be the type to give you a promise ring or something similar to show that he truly does care for you

he would brush it off, flirting a little like usual before handing you the ring

with the way his cheeks softly darken though, you know he’s being genuine

TICKLE FIGHTS ik i mentioned this for childe but shhhh

he has tickle fingers??? his hands just loOK like they’re itching to tickle someone so you’ll most likely be the unfortunate victim

he will not show you mercy. at all. he’ll tickle you until there are tears streaming from your eyes, your face is hot, and your voice is hoarse from laughing so damn hard

it gives him such a rush of serotonin its SO CUTE

i feel like this goes without saying but he’s super into pda,,, anything and everything is on the table

hand holding? duh. ass grabs? ofc. carrying you bridal style around mondstadt? why not

ik he’s typically very playful but once the relationship reaches a certain stage, he’ll slowly start to let down the walls that surround his facade

very very slowly show you the more realistic parts of him

the real, damaged pieces of his soul

he’ll be carefully monitoring your reaction though, any sign of fear or disgust will have him recoiling within himself again and you most likely will never see his true nature ever again

SO BE CAREFUL 👹

once you’ve seen the parts of him he’s offered to you, the hushed whispers of his past, and the uncertain lines of his future, he will take off his eyepatch

pretends like he’s not super nervous but he’s SWEATING-

the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen though hands down

you can understand why he covers it up but you would like it if he felt comfortable enough to take off the eyepatch occasionally when he’s with you

also!!! sleeps with his eyepatch side facing you (in the event he wears it to bed)

if this happens you KNOW he trusts you bc it’s his blindside <3

anyways life w kaeya will never be boring but he is a very complicated man

stay with him though, i promise it’ll be worth it

jean

the key to jean’s heart is coffee and food

GET HER COFFEE AND FOOD

i am begging you she deserves it 😭

the poor woman works so hard bc the knights are so mf understaffed, this is literally the best way you can ever show her your love and appreciation when she has work

she will MELT if you have a hot shower and dinner waiting for her when she inevitably returns later than she promised

will completely refuse at first with, “you did not have to do this, it’s too much” but shush her as you shOULD bc she deserves the entire world

she’s the definition of “you do something for me, i’ll return the favor ten times grander”

you leave a flower on her desk bc it reminded you of her??? you’ll wake up to find a whole bouquet of the prettiest windwheel asters you’ve ever seen the next morning along with a thank you note

she’s so sweet BYE

she gets flustered extremely easily so you obviously use this as an opportunity to tease her

when you’re in public rest your hand on her waist and inch it higher until your hand is underneath her shirt and in contact with her warm skin

she’ll actually short-circuit its quite adorable

sometimes y’all will be cuddling and you’ll hear whispers of her insecurities

“am i a good grand master? will i ever be as valiant as vanessa?”

reassure her!!! tell her that she doesn’t need to be like vanessa, she’s already amazing as jean

if you haven’t seen her in awhile, track her down and schedule a lunch date

she never misses appointments and if it’s for you, she’ll gladly make time to see you even if she has to stay up even later than usual

OH-

GIVE HER MASSAGES

she has so much tension and the sorest muscles from hunching over papers and running around on errands

if you sneak into her office and quietly stand behind her before gently pushing down on the sore tendons of her neck, she’ll genuinely fall over on her desk

so make sure you steady her 😀

after you feel how tight her muscles are though, you drag her to barbara bc she needs a healer asap 😭

while most of your time is spent in her office - you helping out in the ways you can while jean is overseeing knight duties - you still have your fair share of life outside of the favonius headquarters

jean never likes to sit still so whenever you have free time, the both of you head off looking for monsters to clear

bouken da bouken???

adventuring w jean is seriously the funnest thing you could ever do

it’s just non-stop you accidentally getting into trouble and her having to come help you

even tho the both of you are dead tired after fighting, what? 20 hilichurl camps now??? the laughter and joy in your eyes shows how you both truly loved every minute of it

it’s both a stress reliever, good fun, and a work-out <3

you’re definitely prone to getting dragged to angel’s share w kaeya

kaeya and jean sometimes hang out after work at the tavern so inevitably you’re dragged along too

all three of you are drunk out of your minds which just makes everything a MILLION times funnier

kaeya slurring over his words makes the two of you start cackling endlessly while diluc just shakes his head making sure to not give you more wine despite your pleas

angel’s share ft. kaeya and bartender diluc are always the best times fr fr

life with her literally feels like y’all are married

so much domesticity it’s so NICE ALJDKSFH

your house is always so clean and the color scheme is impeccable bc jean has such a good eye

you have a chore schedule 😎 but it almost never works out bc jean ends up doing everything without you knowing-

you always confront her abt it and she’s like 😁 “i had some time so i did them! no worries tho” like i- time??? where bitc-

oH- she has amazing style so you can bet shopping w her is literally the best experience

she takes you to all of the hidden gems some places lisa recommended and helps you pick out things

will 100% get really blushy if you come out in something and ask her for her opinion tho she’s literally the cutest

basically jean is a sweet girl who deserves the entirety of teyvat that is all.

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3

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w2beastars · 3 years

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Waezi2′s thoughts on “Beast Complex” chapter 9.

This chapter of Beast Complex is a bit different. It’s not the story about two very different animals.

Its about two very different aspects of the SAME animals, hence the title “The Shiba Inu and the Shiba Inu”.

Meet Mugi.

Mugi is the model for calendars that sells like hot cakes.

This is ALSO Mugi:

Oh, and BTW... Mugi is a guy. And he is forty.

He is not transgender or anything. He just so happens to be a shiba inu dog, one of the cutest creatures on planet Earth. In fact, shiba inus are considered to have the cutest faces alongside the polar bears and otters. But this bread of dogs are also hot tempered... but the cute dogs do their best to hide that since it is not socially acceptable for these cuties to be angry.

And Mugi makes it his job to be cute, even if he sort of resents himself for being a gravure idol.

In case you don’t know: a gravure idol is a female model who primarily models for men's magazines and such. These “idols” do poses or activities intended to be provocative or suggestive but with an air of playfulness and innocence rather than aggressive sexuality. Because some people are into that.

While Mugi goes shopping, he encounter a fellow Shiba Inu who gives him an over the top cute smile as she hands him his groceries. Mugi thinks about how most of his kind do their best to be what society expect of them and how he is being a fraud. Not so much because he pretends to be female for a living, but because he doesn’t FEEL cute. He is a grown male, he drinks too much and smokes and he is pretty moody.

He started as a model when he was 27 and he feels faker and faker for each year that passes where he as a model basically says that shiba inus SHOULD be cute, that it is their defining quality.

He finally reaches a bridge he doesn’t wanna cross when his manager who is a cat tells him to consider getting plastic surgery to “fix” his face. That and that Mugi needs to get rid of his beer belly. Mugi jokingly says that it is hypocritical of his manager to tell him to lose weight when he is downright fat.

His manager response?

Being confronted with the fact that the world doesn’t give a shit about Mugi not feeling like being cute kinda breaks the dog as he decides to be cute in his free time as well, once and for all dealing with it being his fate to be everyone’s cute stuff toy.

But as Mugi walks around while being in cute mode because he has given up on just being himself, he gets recognized by two tigers who buys the calendars he models for.

And these two ass hats are in his face about it, complaining about Mugi being an “old fart” and a “fraud”. As if Mugi owes them something and not respecting the dog’s privacy at all.

And Mugi snaps!

That’s right, Mugi punches a tiger, an animal that is several times bigger than him. Like a true shiba inu, he is a little dog with a hot temper who is not afraid of picking a fight with someone bigger than himself.

The tiger is not hurt, just confused. And so are all the other animals who watched what happened and can recognize the famous model. And they stare completely stunned while Mugi looks anything but cute and yells:

Mugi is right. He has never asked anyone to love him. Who he is and what he does in his free time is no one’s business. Or it shouldn’t be in a fair world.

But the world of “Beast Complex” is NOT a fair world. And Mugi's incident is known the next day in a ton of magazines. Mugi has been framed as a drunk bozo, his cute public face is ruined and it looks like his career as a model is over.

... But his manager sees an opportunity. A way to turn the shitload of lemons he just got into lemonade. Since the cat(or in this case the shiba inu) is out of the bag, why not make it Mugi’s new identity? The cute dog who is not afraid of being rash and hot tempered?

Mugi is asked to consider it. He at first thinks it is a dumb idea since no one is interested in a cute dog acting uncute.

... But then he meets the retail cashier from the other day. the one who made him bitter about shiba inus being a bunch of fakes. But she is not smiling, she just looks at him normally. She is not trying to be extra cute. But she does smile when she recognizes Mugi since she read the article about him being a drunk loser. She smiles genuinely because a shiba inu punched a tiger and was a badass, the sort of dog she wanna be instead of a cutie pie.

Mugi then gets an enlarged version of the “embarrassing” photo of him yelling in public and hangs it over the calendar with him pretending to be a teen girl. the symbolism needs not to be explained here:)

I said it before and I will say it again: The world of Beastars/Beast Complex is not our world. It is an animal world with animal issues. You could compare Mugi’s situation with a human one in some sense, but his issue is basically that he is born “cute”. It could be seen as a perk since it got him a well paid job as a model, but it is also a crutch since he has to compromise to get the perks of being cute, like pretending to be a girl and even being told that he should consider getting plastic surgeries. And even if other shiba inus are not in the exact same situation as him, they still live in a world where they are cute little dogs who feels like they HAVE to be cute.

But someone has to step up. Someone has to break the cycle. And that someone was a 40 year old drunk bozo who finally said stop to the rest of the world’s BS :)

#beast complex #beastars #shiba inu #mugi #mugi beast complex #mugi beastars #hidden condo #the hidden condo

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girlmeetsliv3 · 4 years

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Lilies of the Valley VII

A/B/O!BTS x Reader

Flowers can have different meanings depending on the flower shape, color, and method in which they are presented. Lilies are my favorite for such a simple flower can have so many distinct meanings.

“The tiger lily is also known as a symbol of honor and riches and some cultures around the world consider it a symbol of love and kindness.”

Release Date: 06/08/20 @ 9 pm

previously ~ next

Trigger Warning: Some of the contents discussed in this chapter may not be suitable for all audiences. Mentions of past trauma.

“What the fuck are they doing here?!”

“Soyeon, please calm down.”

It took a lot for her to calm her older sister down, as YN pushed her away from the perplexed alphas. Once YN had managed to guide her sister towards the other side of the car, she seemed to have calmed down, or at least that’s what YN thought before her sister directed her anger towards her. “What the fuck, YN. Why would you bring them here? Are they your mates? Did they force you to do this? Do you need help?” YN placed her hands over Soyeon’s mouth, muffling any other questions she might have.

“Please calm down, I can’t answer everything at once.” Her sister wasn’t the confrontational type, but she hadn’t been there when the incident occurred. Despite being only a year older, Soyeon had decided to study abroad. Something that YN had once overheard her saying she regretted. “Alright, I’m calm. So it’s official then, you completed the mating bond?” YN wasn’t sure how to answer, wasn’t sure how much of the truth her sister knew. There were at least three different versions of what had occurred: what YN had said, what the police had said, and the truth. Which version YN told depended on how much self-loathing she carried within her.

"Legally, yeah. It's official." She wouldn't elaborate on it, let people interpret it the way they want. When YN saw the relief that flashed on Soyeon's face, she felt a small part of her die. "Oh, thank god. I was worried that you were going to show up alone again. That's why I asked to meet you here, I wanted to mentally prepare you for Shuhua's family." So much for what her mother had said on the phone. It was good that Soyeon had found a mate - especially a female alpha considering how strange they were. "I'm happy for you." The smile on her face was forced, but that didn't mean the words were any less true. YN was genuinely happy for her sister.

“Oh, I’m sorry about how I reacted.”

YN turned her head to see Jungkook and Seokjin peering, the latter smiled. “Don’t worry. We understand.”

Soyeon nodded, “I can get a bit protective over my little sister.” The head rub Soyeon gave YN was a bit unnecessary but her scowl gave everyone a laugh, so she opted not to bring it up. Soyeon dusted off her jeans, despite there being no dust on them, “Well. I’ll see you at home tomorrow then.” Her attention returning to the alphas. “It was nice to see you again. Seriously, if you hurt my sister again I’ll kick your assess.”

The hotel room they rented had two rooms and a sofa bed, despite YN insistence that she could take the latter they had all refused. Pushing her into the smaller of two rooms, whilst they all shared the master. Truthfully YN didn’t understand how they all managed to sleep together without waking up hot sweaty messes or maybe they didn’t mind. They’re probably used to being hot around each other. Once she dwelled on it a little more, a sudden flash of embarrassment took her over and she opted to think of something else.

The common area of the hotel room had a balcony where YN was currently sitting. She didn’t know what the others were up to but enjoyed being alone for a while. It gave her a chance to mentally prepare for the onslaught of questions she would have to face tomorrow. The sound of the glass door sliding open, distracted her as she peered to Jungkook stepping out. YN had to steady her racing heart, though she was sure the Alpha had heard it already considering his tense stance. Never the one to leave any space between them, Jungkook strode towards the patio chairs sitting on the one right next to her. There was a frown between his full brows and his rounded eyes looked more sunken in than usual.

“Is everything okay?” YN asked cautiously, unsure that it was the right move. Maybe she should have ignored him until he spoke first.

"Does your family not know?" It was phrased as more of a statement than a question, but that didn't matter. YN swallowed thickly, she should've realized they would be quick to catch on. When weren't they? "They know what they need to." At this, the frown between Jungkook's brows deepened. His body was tilted so that it faced YN's entirely, while hers was facing forward. "What is that supposed to mean?!" His hands gripped hers, forcing her to look into his eyes. He looked angry and that put YN on edge, unsure of how he would react. Jungkook must've seen the fear in her eyes, for the next time he spoke the words were spoken in a softer tone.

“Your family picked you up from the station. The police spoke to them, didn’t they?” YN didn’t answer, so he continued. “Your mother has always kept in contact, but I just assumed she was very forgiving and knew about the pack bond.” YN shook her head, keeping her eyes forward and wide, afraid to blink for that might release the unshed tears.

“My mom- my family doesn’t know about the pack bond.”

“So, then…”

It took YN all her might to not stutter or let out a sob. She had been holding so much in for years and now she was about to break at the hands of the one who started it all. No, I played a part in it too. “I told my parents we were dating and that I asked you to mark me in the heat of the moment.” Jungkook stilled, YN wasn’t sure she could even pick up on him breathing. It was after a few tense moments that Jungkook intertwined his hands in hers, YN didn’t have the strength to fight back. “Why would you do that?” The words were barely above a whisper, but they were enough to shatter YN.

Sobs wracked through her body and she knew it was only a matter of time before the other alphas made their way outside. “What else was I supposed to do? Admit the truth? Do you know how bad that would look? I was a newly presented Omega and I’d jumped into bed with someone I barely knew. Enough rumors were already going around. Do you know how people look at me because of the bite mark?! Like I’m some kind of whore. I made a mistake, we made a mistake, and it was a lot easier to say it was that than admit the truth to my family.”

“YN, don’t say that. It doesn’t matter what people think -”

“Do you know I saw the disappointment in my father’s eyes the day I presented. I wasn’t even supposed to stay after school that day, but I did because I couldn’t stand to be at home.” She took a deep breath, using the back of her sleeve to wipe at her face. “If I had just faced the truth-”

“Don’t fucking say that.” Jungkook interrupted her, he was yelling now but YN could see the tears of frustration in his eyes. “What happened was a mistake. I should’ve controlled myself better, I shouldn’t have let my instincts take over and bitten you.” Jungkook brought her hands up peppering small kisses along the knuckles, “Lily, I should’ve told you when we saw each other that I felt the bond. I was just so overwhelmed, I thought it was my rut, I didn’t even realize what had happened.”

YN shook her head again, “Jungkook, what kind of a person jumps into bed with some she barely knows because of her heat. Much less when she knows he’s mated.”

Before YN could even continue Jungkook got down on his knees in front of her, tears now streaming down his face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The pheromones Jungkook was releasing were ones riddled with stress and anxiety. At that moment, YN ceased to see him as the perpetrator of everything that had gone wrong in her life. He was still at fault, but Jungkook had been a new alpha as well. A kid as well. It had been years and here he was groveling at her feet for forgiveness, not for himself or his mates. But in order for YN to stop blaming herself. "Jungkook, get up." The alpha refused, clinging onto her hands like they were a lifeline. Slowly, YN slid off the chair and to the floor gathering him in her arms, he was much bigger than her but the way he wrapped himself around her spoke volumes.

Out of her mouth came the words YN never thought she would utter. “I forgive you.” Then as a display of her sincerity, she rubbed her nose where his scent gland was right above his mating mark. Where her’s would eventually go.

The second YN stepped out of the car, her mother swept her up into a hug. “Oh, darling how I’ve missed you.” YN giggled hugging her mother tightly, despite being a beta her mother had always smelled to her like sour lemons. Most might find that irritating smell, but YN had always enjoyed it. “I missed you too, Mom.” Her mother squeezed her tightly before her focus turned on the alphas behind her. “It’s nice to see you all. You especially Namjoon.”

“It’s a pleasure to see you again ma’am.” Namjoon’s dimpled smile was enough to have her mother swooning on the spot. Something which caused YN to roll her eyes, though the longer she thought about it. “You’ve met my mother before?” The question was directed towards the lead alpha, but it was her mother who answered. “Ah, Namjoon introduced himself during your graduation. He called to let me know that they would be accompanying you.” Oh. “I didn’t know that.” She shot the men a glare, but they all shrugged.

Jungkook intertwined her hands in his and shot her a sheepish smile. “You look pretty today.” The dress she was wearing was one they had picked out for her, a red wrap dress that brushed her knees. Jungkook seemed to be in a better mood than yesterday, their conversation had left YN worried but thankfully it seems everything had been resolved. At least on his side. Her mother guided her through the house and to the back, showing them to the outside.

“Be warned, Shuhua’s family is a bit antiquated.”

That served as an understatement for what was to come.

Decorations lay thrashed on the floor as several tables and chairs were flipped over in the tumult. YN couldn’t see much through her bleary tears, but she could see the bloodstain. Drying on the freshly cut grass while its rusty odor invaded all of YN’s senses. She was aware of the echoes and shouts around her, but YN couldn’t react to them. Not until she felt warm arms wrapping around her figure, the woody scent alerting her to who it was. “Let’s go home, baby.” YN wasn’t sure whether she nodded or not, but she was dragged away nonetheless towards the six other men waiting for her.

I called them,” Namjoon answered her thoughts, but YN wasn’t too concerned. Despite, her wondering how the men had managed to get there so quickly. She was faintly aware of getting into a car, being placed on someone’s lap, and the sweet sounds of humming near her ears. “It’s okay, YN. Everything is okay now. You’re safe.” So it was Jimin she was sitting on. That’s why her nose didn’t burn. She remembered Soyeon’s words, her mother’s shocked expression, and the face of the disgusting man being pounded into by one of her mates. “Shhh, baby. It’s okay. You’re safe now. No one’s ever going to hurt you again.”

Hope you enjoyed!!!

@hxsxxk-180294 @saxpam24 @trixsterbi @mel-gonzalez07 @cstobitk @dionysus-png @taekimxx @moonlitehunter @joonie-grim @wonderlace19 @sugashaye @rosey-roseu @mintaemark @ciderxi @soloikeadates @alex--awesome--22 @ruth619 @tinger-k @thenyousaidhello

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remmyswritings · 4 years

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Coffee or Tea Part 2: Lavender Matcha Tea

I told myself I’d post this on Monday, but honestly I’ve been so excited by everyone’s responses that I figured I’d post it a day early. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I do! Any and all pictures I post are from Unsplash, except for the moodboard from chapter 1 which had been made by the beautiful @willowbleedsonpaper.

Also, if you want to be on the tag list but aren’t currently then let me know.

Coffee or Tea? part 1: chai tea latte

It had been two days since he had seen Y/N and Teddy was starting to get nervous. It wasn’t just any type of nervousness, it was that pit in the middle of your stomach feeling, the one that won’t stop gnawing at you until you’re satisfied, and Teddy hadn’t been satisfied. He was anything BUT satisfied. All these thoughts running through his head “What if it was a one off?” “What if I was just imagining that she was into me?” “What if she stopped working there?” “Was that even her regular shift?” “Should I ask the owner? No that would just be super weird right… especially if she doesn’t want to talk to me… no I’d just look like some stalker…” Still these thoughts didn’t stop him from checking through the window of the cafe for her… just one last time. His bundle of joy, wait she isn’t his he reminded himself, wasn’t there, at least he thought so. A crunching of tree leaves and the reflection of someone standing behind him in the window caused him to turn around.

“Hi Teddy… Looking for anyone in particular?” She smirked.

Shocked, he could only stand there, watching her with her hip popped out, using it to support a basket that seemed to be carrying pastries, smiling as if she didn’t just scare the crap at him… maybe she didn’t realize she had. “Oh… H-Hi Y/N… Nice to see you here.”

“Well I do work here.” Suddenly looking down as if surprised by her outburst. A bit quieter, she remarked, “But it’s nice to see you too.”

Realizing that she had to go inside, he opened the door for her. And suddenly, as if it were magic, she transformed from a slightly timid woman to a confident and energetic leader. She hopped over to the bar, placing the basket down on the table, before swinging her body over to the other side. Looking to Teddy once again, she motioned for him to wait and stepped to the back, speaking to someone who seemed to be her boss. Then, within a blink of an eye, she was back at the register waiting for Teddy to approach… the ball was in his court now.

“So… Teddy… what can I get for you today?” She teasingly stated.

Looking at her, he decided to see if he could make his time last. “Well, I’m not sure. I’d figured I’d try something new again.”

“Did you like the drink I gave you last time?” Genuinely concerned that he did not enjoy it.

“Oh no,” he reassured her. “It was amazing. I’m sort of surprised I hadn’t tried it before. I just figured I’d try something else today, expand my taste buds a bit.”

“You know, I’m sort of surprised, my boss says that until the other day, you always ordered the same thing. What was that she called you? Oh… ya… Mr. Earl Grey,” She laughed.

“Um… well who knows maybe I wanted to try something new… or maybe, I wanted to meet this new barista who I’d never seen before.” As he said this, a line began to form and while he really hoped to continue his sentence, he knew the other customers would be bothered by it. “Anyway, I don’t want to hold anyone up, so anything that you can recommend to me?”

Y/N looked pensive, going through every tea she could think of imagining, which one Teddy would like the most… but then again he said he wanted to try something new. “If you want to try something new I’d recommend our Lavender Matcha Tea. It’s a new version that our matcha expert on staff came out with just this morning… Oh and I’d pair it with a lemon poppy seed scone from the basket that I carried in earlier.”

“Lavender… wow I never would have thought of that flavor, but I trust you. I want to ask more but I have a feeling your other customers won’t be happy with me,” He smiled bashfully.

Y/N found the action endearing and couldn’t help but blush in return. “I’m sure I can spare you a couple minutes after I finish making your order to talk some more.”

And off she went. Once again Teddy couldn’t help but observe her movements, they weren’t graceful today… no they were more marked, she seemed a bit on edge yet comfortable. It astonished him how much in control she appeared even with the tenseness she carried in her body. Then, just like the last time, she seemed to appear out of nowhere, with a smile and his order. “

One Lavender Matcha tea with a lemon poppy seed scone.” Placing his order down in front of him, Y/N then hopped over the bar, placing herself on the stool next to him. It seemed as though she had done it thousands of times before. Suddenly, Teddy realized just how close she was, with their knees skimming past one another, almost touching yet not really. Nonetheless, Y/N didn’t seem to notice, so Teddy forced himself not to notice either.

“So,” looking up at Teddy’s brown eyes in such a way that he imagined her peering into her soul, “what do you want to know Teddy?”

“So many things,” he blurted out. “Sorry… I didn’t mean- um… I think I’m curious about the basket with the pastries. I thought the cafe’s pastries were made in house.”

“Surprisingly, they never were. These are actually from a shop called ‘The Creature Confectionery,’ it’s a family business run by the Lovegoods. I happen to be good friends with their daughter Luna, so when I started working here, she helped me set up an arrangement between her mom and my boss,” She rambled on about how she met Luna when she first arrived in London, the two quickly connecting over their thirst for knowledge. Yet all Teddy could think was “Wow, she’s even more stunning when I talk to her.”

Five minutes, turned into 10, which then turned into 30. His tea and scone had been devoured long ago, yet neither of them seemed to notice just how much time had passed since Y/N sat down in her stool. At least that was until the next set of customers walked in.

“Ted, mate, there you are,” a voice exclaimed. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Teddy and Y/N turned around to see two men standing side-by-side, who seemed to embody two different sides of the same coin. Y/N realized that the one who spoke was a blonde-haired man she’d recognized from time to time.

“Oh, Malfoy, Zabini. What are you two doing here?” Teddy seemed confused seeing his two friends in front of him. “I thought we weren’t supposed to meet til later tonight.”

Finally the blonde-haired man’s companion spoke, “Malfoy’s lecture got cancelled, so we figured the three of us plus Parkinson and Greengrass should hang out.”

“Oh, sorry ‘bout that boys. I guess I just got caught up with Y/N here,” Teddy looked down ashamed.

The two men then turned to fully look at Y/N, as if they hadn’t even bothered to pay attention to her until her name fell from Teddy’s lips. Their gazes surprised her, yet she held up her guard, even when they seemed to take in her appearance recognizing her as a barista. Y/N only hoped that no belittling comments came from either of the men yet they never did.

“Nice to meet you, love. I’m Draco Malfoy, and this is Blaise Zabini,” Malfoy held out his hand for Y/N to shake. Once he did, she released her breath, not recognizing that she had held it in the first place.

“It’s nice to meet you both, but… wow… look at the time, I should get back to work,” a timid smile sitting on her face. Before leaving, she turned to Teddy, her voice now quieter than it was earlier, “It was really nice chatting with you. We should do this again sometime.”

The second she disappeared, Teddy turned to his friends and exclaimed, “What the bloody hell was that for?!”

taglist: @willowbleedsonpaper, @summer-writes, @obsessedwithrandomthings, @firewhisky-kisses, @potterverseimagine, @in-slytherin-we-trust, @weasleybees

#harry potter imagine #theo thirst #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott imagine #harry potter modern au #harry potter x reader #harry potter coffee au

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years

Text

Horror Villains / Misc x Reader || Drabbles

Plot: You accidentally summon Beetlejuice because he convinced you that he could help you with your Slasher problem, but he becomes an even worse problem. So, you need your Slasher to help you exterminate him, instead.

Includes: Chucky / Charles Lee Ray and Freddy Krueger

Warnings: It’s got nasty gremlin man in it (Meaning, gross language, dirty jokes and such), and also Slashers (Meaning, gore, swearing, course and suggestive language). Groping (Himself)

Notes:

Okay, those of you who were with me at MainstreamBaddies; You remember that post I wrote about some rando killer trying to get the reader, so reader goes to the Slasher that’s also trying to kill them for help?

Well this is basically that but with (Movie) Beetlejuice as the rando.

THERE WAS MEANT TO BE MORE CHARACTERS!! But its late and I wanna slep ^^ Hopefully I’ll do Ghostface and Jason tomorrow!

~~~

THE START / ‘Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice’

“So… “Worrying my bottom lip, I look from the wall where I can think properly to the small, ‘fun size’ version of ‘Beetlejuice’ who’s looking expectantly at me. Excited even.

Although I guess that’s a given. If I was that small and had the possibility sitting right in front of me, of growing back to full size, and full power again, I’d be jazzed too. But, still, there’s something very off about this guy, and it isn’t just the fact that he’s the size of maybe 2 thumbs snapped off at the knuckle and taped one on top of the other. He’s very enthusiastic.

In a Gollum-Swamp Monster-Chick Hicks kind of way.

“’So’, what? I don’t have all day baaaaaay – well, I do have all day. I got nowhere to be – not many fun joints for a guy to go to at this size, amiright? Yeah, but, that’s not the point! Do you wanna get rida’ your lil’ problem or not? Eh?” Beetlejuice is practically vibrating, like an alarm clock and I have the most impulsive urge to call his name three times just to stop it.

Luckily, I have impulse control.

“Of course, I do. I… “Eyeing him pointedly, I start wringing my hands. “I just don’t want to create a new problem, in its place.”

He rolls his dark, feral racoon-panda eyes, muttering something lightning quick to himself before throwing out his arms and yelling. “BABE! I promise ya, really, sweetheart. Baby-lemon pie-dumpling-doll-dollar-sugar-tea, I’m just gonna fix your problem! All I want in the world right now is t’ cum-plete our deal! Get rida’ your Slasher, and be on my way! Unless theirs somethin’ else you ask of me, eh? When I’m back to my normal size? You know, I’m big in all the right places sugar tit- “

I took a deep, necessary breath in when he started on the ‘something else’ and now have the required breath to drown out the last words. “Oooookay!! I wont need that.” I say quickly, as a statement. He licks his lips. “But, um… Are you sure you can get rid of them?” ‘Them’. The bane of my existence right now. The co-star in the horror movie of my life. That them.

“Trust me, babe-sickle. It’ll be sinch.” For a moment, he looks absolutely calm. No vibrating, no yelling, no talking really fast. And it hits its intended mark – my assurances. Okay.

“Alright.” I wring my hands one last time, then clap them and step back from the town diorama that Beetlejuice is roaming in. I cross my arms, then drop them to my sides and look around, then finally back at the impatient ghost… who’s doing squats. Good grief, how much energy is in this guy? “Beetlejuice.”

He gasps, jumps up to his feet, nearly falling over because his weight landed wrong and then rubs his hands together. “Here we go!”

“Beetlejuice.”

“Oh. You do it right, babe.”

Oh my god, here we go. Hopefully this can’t make my situation any worse- I mean, I am being targeted by a killer. What are the odds that this goofball of a ghost could ruin my life anymore? “Beetlejuice.”

“PRESTO!”

Human! Chucky / Charles Lee Ray – Chucky’s POV:

I figure this is going to be a pain, when a screech tears from the ugly old house before I even get in. Confused, and more then frustrated because this spells out nothing but problems for me for when I get in, instead of the nice peaceful kill I was intending to enjoy, I open the screen door -bitch didn’t even lock the front door, it’s like she wants me to kill her,- and rush up the stairs to where the sound came from. “Hold on, I’m not there yet!!”

What the hell is going on?!

“Look, in my professional experience, the screamin’ doesn’t start til the killer takes out a knife, sometimes even before but not before I even get into the house, lady. The audacity of you, here- “

What am I looking at here?

In front of my eyes, my fucking eyes, stands of course Y/N, my victim. And some kind of zebra - one that’s been dead and left out in the swamp for a fuck-long time. He’s got crazy eyes if I’ve ever seen them, and have you seen mine? That’s saying something. Who is this joker? In my coat, I grip the gun I keep just in case strangulation goes awry, but don’t bring it out just yet. Not until this guy reveals his cards, first.

The guy’s eyes flicker in smug amusement from my face, to my gun pocket -evidently, he realises something’s up. Can’t blame the guy, damnit, -, then whips right around, leaving his back wide open for me and my weapon, to my facepalming victim. I smirk at her. “I take it that’s the guy you want rid of, toots?”

“Uh… yeah… “She looks adorable and awkward. The guy lets go of her waist, which he was holding close to his body as she leaned away before, when I walked in and he literally, and I’ve never seen any person do this before, halted in his tracks. Stopped breathing, stopped shifting, it even seemed like the history around him stopped for that ‘caught’ moment. And I swear I heard the sound of record music abruptly being turned off come from his mouth.

And for some odd reason, I get the feeling he’s not human. Can’t conjure a reason why, though.

I should be saying this shit out loud, I’m wasted on myself.

Figuring this guy’s been hired to get rid of me, I take out my gun. “Okay, you’re gonna have to catch me up on what’s happening... Oh, no? Well, okay.”

BAM!

A bullet flies across the room and sticks into the freak’s chest, and that is the end of things going my way.

Because the force of the bullet somehow sends him slamming across the room and through a wall in the back. His body goes ‘poot’ down two stories outside and theirs a silence that doesn’t last long enough for either Y/N or I to digest what just fucking happened before the bastard’s grotty fucking hand spiders up my spine from behind. I wriggle out of his reach immediately on impact, because it’s like a real fucking spider, and whip around, waiving my gun- which is useless now, of course.

Games are over.

The guy looks over at Y/N and grins, throwing his arms out in a ‘ta da!’ way. She winces and just narrows her eyes in a glare. “What’d you think of that, sweet cheeks? I got a flare for the dramatic, you know? Ssssexy! Eh?” When she sticks her tongue out at him, for lack of any words to respond to that with I guess -I mean, I, can think of some choice words for the guy, but she’s clearly not as creatively gifted in the art of insult as I have been told I am. But, a tongue out works, - he grins the most fucking horny grin I’ve ever seen and clutches his sack. Her jaw drops.

“Where the ever-loving fuck did you pick crazy pants up from??” I ask, looking accusingly at Y/N. She chews on the inside of her cheeks and looks even more awkward then before.

“Truce?” She asks, instead of answering my question. I’m genuinely curious.

I roll my eyes. “Ughh, fine.”

“Oh well that won’t do,” The guy speaks up again, looking between us and letting his Johnson go, thank god. The boys have to breath! “Baby girl, blossom, light of my FUCKING DEATH! You wound me. riGHT IN THE HEART! Let me show you, sweetgums, why that was a bad idea.”

Her eyes widen, and I suddenly feel real unsafe. “How about you don’t- “

“Watch this!”

He turns to me, makes some overdramatic hand gestures, throwing his back out in the process and momentarily acting like he’s out of order.

Then he whips back into action and shoots me with finger guns,

And then suddenly everything around me looks 4 times bigger then before. Oh, well, its that or… I’m closer to the ground.

Because I’m a fucking doll again.

I slowly look up from the little black baby shoes and the edges of the godamn jean jumpsuit, to the infected condom in black and white grease paint. “… You son-of-a-bitch.”

He chuckles and turns to Y/N, and gives her finger guns too, but the only other thing that happens this time is he winks at her. “Now, baby! Time to get hitched!”

“What?!” She shrieks.

Freddy Krueger – Freddy’s POV:

“I’m going to die of boredom before this bitch catches winks. I’m gonna pummel her with the counting sheep she clearly needs when she gets here.” The corners of my mouth lift up from the deep scowl I was wearing before, at the idea. It has merit.

Behind me the fine folks of Pompeii run for their lives and a red and green striped Vesuvius explodes molten lava over their little town when I remember it’s been 2 days since she’s fallen asleep. Or found some fucking Hypnocil. Or killed herself. Who knows, really. I have a… deadly effect on women.

But damn, it would be a bummer if she killed herself. I was having fun with her. I had plans.

Have, have. I have plans. I won’t give up hope yet.

An hour, or who knows how long later -time is a human construct and doesn’t exist in the dream plain, - , I’m lying on the ground watching Psycho play in the sky when that familiar tingle rushes through me, telling me someone’s entered my world.

I’m just getting up and brushing myself off, taking my damn time like she left me to wait -besides, I can turn back time and make it seem like I appeared instantaneously if I want to. Time’s a construct, remember? And this is my world. I’m just doing this for me, to make me feel better, - when she comes out of fucking nowhere and nearly knocks me over. Im-ee-diate-ly I open my mouth to ask her why she’s so eager, but she beats me to the punch, causing me sadness.

“Wake up, wake up, wake up!”

Hold on, I definitely think there’s something off here. Don’t I make the fucking demands?! “Bitch- ”

“Wake!”

“-I haven’t done anything to you yet.”

“Up!”

“Goddamn!”

What is going on here!?

“I’ll do anything you want, just please. Wake me up!” Her eyes are deadly serious, and I can’t help the greedy smile I get at her submissive idea. What could have made her this way? I laugh.

“Ohhh, I’ll think it over. Tempting offer, though~” She lets out a growl and let’s go of me in pure frustration, looks around quickly for something and then lays eyes on my glove. She picks it up, and my eyes widen in surprise at what she does next.

The blade slices through the skin in her upper arm before I can take any control of the situation, and a nauseous feeling suddenly rolls me and she whimpers from the pain of slicing herself open, as the world goes blurry around us and she wakes up- of course, still holding my glove, which is attached to me, so I go with her.

“Fucking he- “

Much quicker than you think it will be, we both turn up back in the fucking reality. She hops up immediately and flies across the room to a first aid box.

I’m just assuming, I mean. Because I don’t make any move to leave the bed at all and just close my eyes and groan, and resist the urge to cry.

I hate this placceeeeeeeeee.

“BABES, YOU’RE BACK!”

Now I resist the urge to scream and phase out of existence, because a man just appeared on the bed with me and called me his babes. Instead, I slowly turn my head to him and sinisterly narrow my eyes- and hope he doesn’t notice my distress from a second ago.

I’m starting to understand why Y/N was so intent on getting back here. If this guy, a dung beetle with… oh, god. Clearly, some kind of terrible illness if that smell indicates anything, was hanging around me while I slept, I’d be… slightly bothered too. If only for the stink!

He squints, and while he does, his hair flickers through the various colours in the rainbow, confused. “Sweetbottom, theirs something different about you. Did you get contacts?”

As a knee jerk reaction, I stab him in the gut with my blades. “Stranger danger, bitch!”

My panic dissolves into glee as I jerk the knives upwards… just to turn back into panic when he starts tearing all the way in half from my stab wound up to the top of his head with minimal effort from me. I gulp, and retreat from him to where Y/N is, taping her bandages securely around her arm. I gesture to the freak who’s padded onto the floor and is zipping himself back together in front of my eyeballs. “… the fuck is that?”

“That’s Beetlejuice, he’s a ghost=

“With the most, baby.” ‘Beetlejuice’ stands up straight and rests his hands on his hips, chest puffed out and winks at Y/N.

“-What do we do?” She asks, looking with wide eyes at me.

What does she think I am? The Fairy Godmother of the dead?? I’m no godmoth-

… I could use this. A slow grin spreads across my mouth. “First, you go over there and distract him.”

For a split second she looks like she’s actually going to go with it, then looks with furrowed, unimpressed eyebrows at me. ‘Beetlejuice’ makes grabby hands at us, and she starts to look more panicked by the second. “And what will you do??”

I yank the bedroom door open. “Run!!”

#Keatlejuice #Beetlejuice #Chucky #Charles Lee Ray #Freddy Krueger #Drabbles #Scenarios #Part 1 #Horror / Misc Drabbles || Part 1 #Beetlejuice x Reader #Keatlejuice x Reader #Chucky x Reader #Charles Lee Ray x Reader #Freddy Krueger x Reader

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crazy4myself · 4 years

Text

Burnt Chicken

Word Count: 1.8K

Pairing: Gender Neutral Reader x Jin

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Rating: G

Summery: You haven’t seen your handsome husband don his apron the past three nights in a row. Instead, you’ve come home to see Jin kicking back a beer on the couch, take out containers laid out across the coffee table as he waited for you to get home. You knew something was up if he was too stressed to even cook. So you decided to take things into your own hands and make dinner for him for a change

Author’s note: this sweet little number was written for the BTS Ghosties Bingo Prompt: Is something Burning? I hope you like it :)

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You hummed to yourself as you finish setting the table taking the time to fold a crisp napkin tightly before laying the silverware on it. You lit the candle you chose as the dining tables centerpiece and smiled to yourself proudly running your fingers across soft the lace table cloth. It was passed down to you from your grandmother and you normally only pulled out for special occasions.

You got off work an hour early to surprise your husband with dinner. Out of the two of you, Jin was most definitely the cook of the household. In fact, in your four months of being married, he cooked dinner nearly every weeknight. You weren’t a horrible spouse who refused to help, you knew your way around the kitchen, but Jin genuinely loved cooking, it was one of the ways he destressed after work.

You, on the other hand, preferred getting your stress out in a more physical way and often frequented the gym for a workout or kickboxing class after work. You loved coming home all sweaty and tired, to a house filled with delicious smells and your husband singing as he wrapped up dinner. Often in just a dressed-down version of his work attire and an apron that was ironically gifted to you by his mother on your wedding day. He was always the most delicious looking thing in the kitchen.

However, you haven’t seen your handsome husband don his apron the past three nights in a row. Instead, you’ve come home to see Jin kicking back a beer on the couch, take out containers laid out across the coffee table as he waited for you to get home. You knew something must have been up if he was too stressed to even cook.

So you decided to take things into your own hands and make dinner for him for a change. While you hoped to cheer him up you had to admit you had a personal motive as well, you don’t think you could risk another night of takeout. You were already feeling bloated and like your face looked extra puffy from all the sodium you had been consuming lately.

You were no expert like Jin, but today you were ready to be the perfect picture of domesticity, going as far as dressing up a little and setting the dinner table for him to come home to. You smiled to yourself as you heard the door open and Jin calls you in confusion. He gets off work before you and that plus you gym visit gave him a good hour or so before you got home.

“Y/n are you home?”

You stood in front of the dining table adjusting the way the silverware laid next to his plate trying to contain your grin as he made his way from the entryway to see you.

You felt his strong arms wrap around your middle as he pulled you into his chest, kissing the top of your head.

“And what is the love of my life doing home so early hmm?” he asked as he nuzzled into your hair despite it being a little stiff from the products you used to style it.

“I thought you could do with a proper meal,” you replied turning in his arms and wrapping your own around his neck before planting a peck on his plush lips. Jin hummed in delight as he leaned in to capture your lips in a proper kiss.

You stand there for a moment embracing each other the kiss intensifying slightly as he pushed you against the table.

“That was a lovely appetizer,” you breathed finally breaking away from him he smiled slightly drinking in your flushed cheeks, “but it’s time to eat.” you continued before turning and making your way to the kitchen you smoothed down the wrinkles of your clothing as you tried to pull yourself together before taking out the sides.

You made a nice spring greens salad with a homemade vinaigrette recipe you knew Jin loved, homemade mash potatoes, the good kind with sour cream and heavy whipping cream in them, and baked rosemary and lemon chicken.

“Do you smell something burning,” Jin asked as he fallowed you in the kitchen.

“Oh no the chicken,” you cried rushing to the oven and almost burning yourself as you pulled it out. You kept it in the oven to keep the entre warm, but you had forgotten to turn it off. You inspected the crisp golden skin with a frown, it was still edible, but you didn’t have to tear into the meat to know that it was dry.

Jin stands next to you as he took in the burnt sprigs of rosemary that sat in the pan. One crackled into dust as he pinched it out the pan.

“Fresh herbs, nice,” he commented.

You glared at him pouting cutely. Jin was never shy when it came to critiquing you in the kitchen, it was almost more insulting that he tried to make a positive note out of the shriveled up chicken and lemons slices in the pan.

“The skin looks well seasoned,” he tried again in hopes of cheering you up.

You signed, pout still intact as you reached for a drumstick tearing a piece off to inspect the damage. You could find more moisture in the desert, you thought glumly as you chewed. Jin looked like he would agree with you after tearing off a piece for himself.

“I could make a quick aioli cream sauce you like. Do we have any more lemons?” he offered already turning to the fridge.

“No, we don’t! Besides I’m supposed to cook for you,” you whined pulling at his arm to keep him in place. “Dang it, I was supposed to cheer you up and I completely botched it. We would be better off ordering take out,” You whined.

Jin laughed as you before turning and cupping your face in both his hands, kissing you tenderly on your pouted lips, “You did cheer me up my love, and these sides look amazing no way you’re ordering out.”

You smiled up at him happily, blinking away the little tears of embarrassment, before you realized it did nothing to help with the hazy vision in the room.

“Smoke,” you said quickly pulling away from Jin, “Something IS burning,”

You pulled open the oven in investigation with no luck. Double-checking that the oven and all four burners were off you turned to see grey smoke billowing in from the dining room.

The candle.

You both rush to the dining room taking in the horror as you saw the rosey candle you lit turned over on the lace table cloth setting it alight. Jin immediately slips off his blazer beating it against the table in an attempt to snuff out the flames.

It was his favorite blazer, you noted sadly as you ran to fill up a glass with water in the sink. You got it for him when he got his promotion at work last year, and it was the one he wore when he proposed to you a few weeks later.

Your stomach was filled with dread as you urged the sink to push out water faster before you were running back to your husband and the flames. You tossed the water on the table haphazardly as you took too sharp a turn at the entryway.

The water hissed and turned to steam as it splashed on the edge of the fire most of it landing on the dining chair.

“Nice shot,” Jin commented with a squeaky laugh

“Now is not the time!” you hissed rushing back to the sink. Jin fallowed coughing from the smoke. He tossed his charred blazer aside and crouched next to you to reach in the cabinet under the sink as you filled another glass. You would aim this time.

“Grab the cat and get out of the house,” Jin ordered when he heard you cough.

“What, no you!” you snapped back stubbornly, pulling up the neckline to cover your nose, before taking your glass of water and rushing back to the blaze.

“And call 9-1-1 while you’re at it,” you added. You cringed as you saw the dry dining table chair has also caught. If the fire spread to your rug you guys were in deep trouble.

“We have insurance right?” you called through your coughing fit deciding to douce the carpet to keep the flames from spreading.

Jin only grunted his head still tucked under the sink as he dug through the cabinet.

“What are you even doing?” you asked heading for the fridge, you were tired of waiting for the sink to fill up your cup.

“Get out the house!” was his only reply.

You reached for the gallon of milk and carried it into the dining room swinging your arms in a wide arch as you clumsily, tried to slosh the milk onto the flames without getting too close. Your approach was somewhat effective on the bit closest to you but otherwise mostly just made a pungent-smelling smoke.

“Milk is for heartburn not burn burn!” Jin hissed shoving his wide shoulders passed you and the door frame. He held a bug spay sized can with a red lid and you clapped in delight as you saw a white foam shoot out. In the process of moving in from his apartment, a lot of his things got tossed in boxes, the two of you were still in the process of decluttering all your junk.

The fire extinguisher was a requierment when he moved into his first apartment in college, and it had fallowed him to each time he moved through the years.

“Oh thank God it didn’t expire,” Jin groaned as he put out the last of the flames. Through watery eyes, you took in the mess of milk and extinguisher juice that littered your burnt table and rug. The sweet lace of your grandmother’s tablecloth was nothing but a swatch of fabric now, and Jin’s blazer had a large hole in the back of it the brown sleeves were charred black.

Your stomach growling loudly broke the heavy silence.

Then, Jin was laughing a loud, high pitched, squeaky laugh, and you couldn’t couldn’t hold back your own.

“I agree,” Jin wheezed between his laughter, “we should definitely eat first.”

You both laughed until it turned into a coughing fits, but even then you couldn’t suppress the giggles that made their way up your throat between coughs. It was a terribly uncomfortable experience, the pressure in your chest hurt, your throat burned, and your eyes were streaming with tears but still, you both smiled as you turned to open the windows and doors to air out the house.

Jin captured you in his arms when you returned from checking on your cat, he was very displeased with the state of the house, but otherwise he safe and okay.

“So I’m thinking,” he started before giving you a quick peck, “if I grab the lemons out the compost, I can still use the zest to make the sauce.”

Thanks for reading!!!

#bts fic #jin x reader #btsgohstiebingo #btsghostie #btsbookclub #bangtanscenery #bangtanhq #bts guild #jin fluff #seokjin x reader #seokjin fluff #bts fluff

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fulltimereviewer · 4 years

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Top 50 Best Transformers Fanfiction Stories 2020

Best Transformers Fanfiction Updates That You Must Read

Since Childhood, I am watching transformers and looking forward to becoming a transformer one day, Grew up by Reading Transformers Fanfiction Stories and was always amazed by the fictions that used to pop out from such inspiring Fanfiction Lovers. Also liking the Transformer Fanfiction Crossover a lot.

If I Start Giving my Opinions about Transformers Fanfiction Lemon and Transformers Crossover fanfiction, I don't think so that I won't end the topic of Transformers Fanfiction Stories even in 24 hours. Lukas Schimik Agreed ! Don't know why everybody hates it, I think it's still my number 1 TF movie! Optimus new look, Lockdown & Galvatron, KsI (bots), Dinobots, cast ( HATED this Sam & Mikeala ) and the TF/human conflict. Still love it. Miguel GC Gamer Age of Extinction is the only film that entertains that I don't skip any parts of the movie and I like all the characters in this film and the transformers designs are great, dino bots are Awsome. Vincent H well....bad taste is also bad taste at the end of the day. I know you younger kids think that everyone is supposed to have an opinion and everything is subjective blah blah blah but if you're a cinephile than the Transformers are objectively bad films. They are cynical cash grabs made to make money in China. Bay and the producers have said as much. I mean you can like whatever you want. If you wanna listen to Teletubbies soundtrack all day that's your right....but that does mean you have shitty taste. It's okay. Not everyone has good taste. urtpro 2 I'm not hating I'm genuinely curious. I certainly like it more than Last Knight but barely lol. I'm curious the reasons why AOE fans consider it one of the better Transformers movies. I will say it was nice to switch up the protagonist and all that since Sam Witwicky had worn out his welcome by the third film. And the actress who played Wahlberg's daughter was smoking hot, so that was a plus too. Oliver Parker I thought the premise of the world hating and hunting the Transformers(regardless of Faction), cuz of what happened in Chicago(in DOTM), was kool, MW was a refreshing Main Hero over Shia tbh, and Lockdown was Badass! Honestly kinda just laughed off the whole Romeo and Juliette law thing as being just a bad movie joke! I’m mean honestly I know there’s no such law, and as such it didn’t really bother me! Just rather thought it was somewhat silly! Yann Labeille Well Lockdown was a pretty good villain for once in the movies. However Galvatron went nowhere after this. Anthony That isn't true. I saw Bumblebee yesterday and I find it Like watching E.T., the movie is just on Charlie, not really much on Bee. The only g1 part is the first 5 minutes of the movie. Too much 80s references. Sometimes is even boring for me. It Was a cute movie but absolutely not my favourite. I still prefere the first one. Aron T-900 I'd rather get vibes from ET and Iron Giant instead of witnessing stupid humor, unnecessary hot shots, dogs humping each other, unrealistic explosions, parents acting like they belong in a cartoon, patriotism and confusing slo-mo action sequences. Cam Rich I preferred the first and third ones as they have so much more action in them making the films actually entertaining, when most of bumblebee is almost like a compilation of ‘cute’ little clips of bumblebee and that annoying girl taking up almost the entirety of the movie. Max Ramirez Personally prefer the 2007 movie because it's just overall more entertaining to me. Also, you can pretty much tell Bumblebee was a movie that was directed towards kids so 2007 wins for me So Sit back and enjoy reading my favorite transformers fanfiction lemon and Transformers fanfiction Crossovers Collection. That I have collected for you guys. I Hope You Guys liked our collection of the best transformers fanfiction stories and updates that we have presented above for all fanfiction lovers out here. Transformers Fanfiction Crossover Stories 2020(Updated) Transformers is America based Franchise that was first seen in the 1980s globally. So the first five transformers Films was directed by Michael Bay. I really believe that this was the boost up for the Transformers Fanfiction Crossover stories that I really liked about among the whole and sole of the transformers fanfiction stories including the lemon version of the franchise. Minaya Rojas Tony: We have a Hulk! Optimus: We have a Grimlock! Porg King VII Bee is here what would Optimus want with that what would he take her hostage IT SOUNDS LIKE HE HAS BEEN BRAIN WASHED BY DESEPTAGONS Siidimus Prime! Except they transform their aliens they have Real blasters Different Voices blood Etc. arfhanisbest The interesting thing is that transformers would actually make for good marvel villains. dave tasca The original transformers comics were made by marvel and marvel had to do with the original transformers tv show so they really should try to get the rights back jovinprime Poop soc This would've been more awesome if gi joe, rom the spaceknight, M.A.S.K., micronauts and the other properties interfere with the whole marvel universe and the transformers both. That would be, not only a big, giant, massive crossover event, but a... gigantic, space-involving, multiversal collusion as well Darkknight329 yes megatron hack the armor with Soundwave and turn it off then they all just step on them but they will throw hulk to cybertron and leave him to the toxic oxygen Dr. Nobody Celz On they are robots what is a snap gonna do I know buckys arm was turned to dust but still they have weapons that can make thanos cheese agnas yes because they’re alive. They go to the allspark when they die, they are alive just like us, just made of metal. Bee is here Tony: We have thanos Optimus: We have your mom Tony:0_0 ok you win now give me my mom Hoping that you guys liked our collection of the topmost fanfics about the transformers fanfiction crossover flavors that we have published above this.

Transformers Fanfiction Lemon Version 2020 Funny Part of the Franchise is that the transformer's movies, on one hand, was loved by the fans and on the other hand there were critics about the direction "Worst Director of all Time". Still, there are some dirty minded people who are always in search of the Transformers Fanfiction Lemon and some people also call it Transformers lemon Fanfiction. Night light I really want to be apart of one of micheal bays movie of transformers Flo Parsons see this is why I love transformers, because the actors ACTUALLY seem like they are having fun, and they are such fun films to watch obert Delgad Even though the movie sequels are not that great, but you have to give Michael Bay a lot of Credit for what he does. fake lol Bay is a genius I mean, I wouldn't be able to figure out the scale of you know the explosions Like the layout nig*a LOL, lol or as you typed if, Lol: an acronym for laugh(ing) out loud or lots of laughs, some say it is Lots of love, is a popular element of Internet slang. It was first used almost exclusively on Usenet, but has since become widespread in other forms of computer-mediated communication and even face-to-face communication. Alex Bruh Bumblebee knows how to pick up ladies more than Sam 😂 lala I remember being a kid and having the biggest crush for Megan. Good lord she was so hot Michael ceasar Back than I thought Sam was looking at her belly and so was I saying "Hot belly I guess." hotman 280 Michael Bay while directing: Yeah Megan arch your back, perfect perfect. Get a good shot of her sweat glistening tanned bronze body. Yeah just like that. chief ada Yeah right. That engine is a big block. Fuel injected side draft 8 barrel carburetors. Hell even the headers are up and over side mount. And the damn engine is worth more then the car. As he only paid $4500.00 That damn engine alone cost $20,000.00! Leave the critics aside all I want to know is: How did you people find our transformers fanfiction lemon version? comment down below if you guys liked this collection on some of the best lemon flavors of transformers fanfiction stories. Transformers fanfiction Bumblebee Stories Updated The best part of the Transformers franchise is that bumblebee is the only character that got most of the positive reviews. This can be a reason that people Love Transformers Fanfiction Bumblebee Version a lot. No worries because we have provided some of the best Bumblebee fanfiction stories that you will enjoy reading. Master Yoda "Wasp", "Stinger" or "Hornet" would be appropriate Decepticon sounding names as "Bumble Bee" sounds too friendly. ron 1j2j barricade is a ford mustang and bee is a Chevrolet camero trust me they will not be friends pro gmer yes i do lol they killed ironhide and ratchet and jazz and sideswipe is already missing dnt know if hes alive but hes my favorite hari bhaskar I'm Bumblebee was a Decepticon he'd be dead like the other Decepticons, because boi they sure kill Decepticons like it's nothing. mighty raju Blackout had skills. Shockwave had skills. The Fallen had skills. Yet they all died like they're nothing. Why? Cause they're Decepticons lol. It's simple rlly, they kill off Decepticons like they're nothing that's just how it is lol. habob What about “what if sentinel prime didn’t betray the autobots” I think age of extinction and beyond wouldn’t have happened since sentinel basically destroyed N.E.S.T. And also Rachet and Ironhide wouldn’t have died so the Autobots would have had a great advantage, and then Sam would still be with the autobots since he disappears after DOTMBasically, I’m saying that the Transformers franchise would have dramatically changed if Sentinel didn’t betray the Autobots. ShyGuy 15 In the movies, technically Megatron is an anti-hero. The first movie makes an acception bc he was using the allspark for pure evil, also in Aoe no reason told us what he was trying to accomplish other than detonating the seed. So 2, 3, and 5, he has reasons to his doing Rotf: using the pyramid to kill the sun and repopulate cybertron. Dotm: rebuild cybertron. TLK: kill unicron using cybertron. This is all in my own mind, not sure if anyone else agrees with me Simon Tyson I forget what it was called, but there was a comic book series where Megatron was an Autobot. It basically swapped all the characters so that Optimus, Bumblebee, Iron Hide, etc. were bad guys. Megatron, Starscream, etc. were good guys Dank Starscream If Bayformer Megatron's history is similar to the IDW comics Megatron's history...then that would mean the Autobot government was not all that good, and would be directly responsible for why Megatron turned out the way he did. Because he was a slave to their functionalist system of control, and he would have remained a slave worker miner if he didn't rise up from the lifestyle forced on him and formed the Decepticon faction... Though it seems to me that if this were the case, Bayformers Megatron would still have become a gladiator before forming the Decepticons...and then eventually he found his way into more of the politics of Cybertron after one day meeting with Optimus Prime (Orion Pax at the time) and then they became brothers/friends. In that sense...it would be similar to how the history of the two were from the show TF Prime. They could still keep the part with the whole Optimus being a knight too, somehow... So in short...Megatron really did not start out as a bad guy at all, it was the way in which he reacted to everything that made him turn out a 'bad guy'. She-Venom What if Megatron is a good guy in the movies? Simple answer is right here becuse Optimus accepted become a Prime if he didnt accept Optimus and Megatron wouldnt fight each other and best brothers it was Optimus fault he started the war i think Megatron is a good guy Hoping that you guys liked our collection of the topmost fanfics about the transformers fanfiction crossover flavors that we have published above this. People Love Bumblebee! i love him/her because bumblebee is cool, let me know why do you love Bumblebee and more importantly why do you guys love Transformers fanfiction on Bumblebee. Transformers Fanfiction OC Version Earning a total amount of $4.3 Billion, transformers became the 13th highest-grossing film series in the world. The Transformers Fanfiction Fans Should be happy to know that the Transformers franchise grossed a total of $1 Billion each from two superhit blockbuster movies. Comment Down the names of those movies if you know them. Jack R I think the first one was more epic just cause the fight scenes were cool and it was the first time we saw something like that. But the writing and characters were absolutely horrific. Bumblebee had much better writing and characters especially the character relationship between Bumblebee and the girl which is much better than the relationship between Sam and bumblebee. Dotm Shockwave Yeah I dont know how he put tlk over revenge and extinction. The last knight is incredibly boring and the only remaining aspect left to enjoy (the action) is incredibly dull in it compared to all the other films. There are no good fight scenes. Which is likely why it bombed so hard Ur mom Gai Ok imo the last knight is my fave AND I ONLY like TF5 is cuz bumblebee new form looks good as hell and Optimus prime vs bumblebee AND there is explosions. EVERYWHERE Boss I definitely didn't think it was my favorite. It depends on what you are looking for in a movie. If you like character relationships and a girl and her problems trying to find her way, then you'll like it. If you like transformers actions and interactions, you may not like it as much. Even though the Bay movie didn't focus enough on the transformers, this one did even less The Burden of Bordem I'm a decepticon fan and none of the main decepticons were even given a name in the movie. They were just there to be bad. The Burden of Bordem For me I think this film would have worked much better if they just had Starscream as the main villain, and maybe Barricade hunting bumblebee and give them a more personal relation ship as enemies. But like I said, it end up being a movie about a girl and her relation ship with Bumblebee and enemies getting in their way. bandwon he main character is more fleshed out than the others, Bumblebee I guess is as well, but he can't talk so it isn't by much, the story is standard E.T./Iron Giant, the acting is fine, the directing is probably better than the others, the action is good when it happens, but there is far less than the others, and non of the action reached the peak of the Bay movies. and if it wasn't for the fact there were transformers in it I probably wouldn't have really liked it, but it's enough to get you invested and entertained imo. luke jack You really think anyone's gonna take you serious after you typed "Bumble" Haha the 2007 film and DotM were pretty decent films and satisfying in the end. lisa Speaking as a male, it always annoys me, as a child, that certain plot-line of every terribly written sci-fi (mainly Transformers): "main character is a dick=likable guy" "he has 'relatable' problems, that are only explored in the first 15 minutes of the film" "He start having an abusive/creepy relationship (because that's how well written romance works, right...), with the love interest (they barely explore her name)." "1+ hour action scenes" "world is gonna explode (not really)" "Main Character and Love Interest hook up". People always call me "a pussy", because i want equal rights, and then they go make a video about "how everything is now pandering to women, and everything is Woke"... By your perfect logic... most movies are "pandering to males, and straight people only" imo not like super duper mad, but kinda upset. It was actually kinda funny. But dude, I love what you said about Man of Steel in your DC ranking video. I love that you love Man of Steel. Not many do, and it's seriously awesome! IMO I hope You Guys Like our Collection of the best Transformers fanfiction stories along with transformers fanfiction lemon and transformers fanfiction crossover collection. We know that people will like the Transformers Crossover fanfiction and transformers fanfiction bumblebee version stories. If you like These Transformers Fanfiction Stories make sure you share this on various social media, and you can also give credits to our website. Thank You Also, read Star Wars fanfiction Updates 2020 Read the full article

#transformerscrossoverfanfiction #transformersfanfic #transformersfanfiction #transformersfanfictionbumblebee #transformersfanfictioncrossobver #transformersfanfictionlemon #transformersfanfictionnightmare #transformersfanfictionoc

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sevenseasofrog · 5 years

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Lads ‘n Lasses

pairing: highschool!ben x fem!reader

summary: single sex schools are never boring

word count: 2982

a/n: wagwan gs, this might not be to everyone’s taste but i’ll see how it goes, this is the first time i’ve imagined myself as the reader while writing ?? not as someone else reading it ?? it’s also set in a manchesterish sort of place bc i had a major mind block trying to write about anywhere else other than where i actually live ,, that probably sounds weird idk aha, it’s defo an au where ben basically is still in education and all sorts of chaos takes place as the year moves forward ,, anyway ,, enjoy !! if you have any questions or likewise feel free to send an ask bc i see how it could be semi confusing ,, love u all a lotta :) ❤️

here’s also some stuff that could make it less confusing (especially if you’re not familiar with lingo from north west england, i’ll maybe add to this with each new chapter that comes out :)

St. Mary’s/ Mary’s- the all girls school the reader attends, quite middle class and full of students who like to make drama for their own entertainment, strong focus on languages and arts

St. Peter’s/ St. Pete’s - the all boys ‘brother’ school to St. Mary’s, very laddish with a focus on sports and science

Niamh & Maria - the reader’s two closest and longest friends

Tram/Met - British version of an overground subway?

Shout - another word for a houseparty

Snide - unfair

Swear down - saying you are telling the truth

also, the reader and ben are between the ages of like 17 and 18ish, the whole thing isn’t very accurate to the uk school system but it works a little better like that so yall are gonna have to go with it aha

ps, this chapter is spilt in two bc i got very carried away when writing it and tumblr has a word limit, hmph. however, that does technically mean that i can say i’ve written two chapters not just one ?? go me !!

Chapter 1: September

4th of September, the night before a new term, new academic year and a nearly fresh start. Your last year at St Mary’s had not been something you were dreading so to speak, and now it was finally here. Thanks to upcoming exams, you only had a little over five months to get through before freedom, and eventually, a completely clean slate at a new, far less intimidating school environment. Anticipation building, you called it a night

6:15am. You woke up to the painful sound of your alarm clock, early morning sun peeking through the split between the curtains. Eager to silence the blaring noise you crawled out of the comfort of the duvet and hastily clicked the stop button in the centre of your phone screen. You made your way into the bathroom, careful not to wake your parents, brushed your teeth and quickly got undressed before stepping into the shower, letting the cool water run down your back without getting your hair wet, since you had it cut and washed yesterday afternoon. Slipping on your school uniform you caught eye of yourself in the mirror and decided that you had nothing to lose by putting on a little makeup, you had time after all. It was about 7am when you made your way downstairs, the house still quiet with only you awake. These mornings were the ones you liked best, just you and your own thoughts, with no one to bother you other than the dogs. It was still relatively warm during the September days so you chose to leave your jumper hung over a chair in the kitchen, putting just your blazer over your crisp, white blouse. Throwing an apple and cereal bar into your bag for later in the day, you figured that you might as well also pack some paracetamol and chewing gum for good measure, knowing it would come in handy eventually. You headed into the hallway to sit on the bottom step of the stairs to put your shoes on, tying the laces as tight as you possibly could, slung the black tote over your shoulder and grabbed your set of keys, which were usually on a hook which your dad had attached to the wall earlier in the year.

The walk to the tram stop was pleasant enough. There was no real breeze and you walked with your hands in you pockets to the beat of the music. Skipping down the steps to the platform to buy a ticket for the week, the change rattled in your pocket, and you had to cover it to stop anything flying out. Once you had finally managed to get the machine to produce a ticket after it spat out the coins you tried to use a few times, you spun round and walked towards the sheltered seats down the further end of the stop. It was only 7:45 by this stage and there were still very few people around. Missing the school rush was certainly worth it for you, and it also meant there was time to grab a coffee on the way to school with Niamh and Maria, who both got on at later stops anyway. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, deciding to text your parents, as you did every morning to let them know you were okay. You skipped a few songs before slipping your phone back into your pocket and looking up to examine your surroundings, following a good few weeks of not coming to the somewhat grimy metro stop, nothing had changed. The ground was still caked in chewing gum, graffiti littered the ticket machines, and the bin was, as ever, overflowing.

There was one thing different though, slightly odd too. A blonde haired boy who you had never seen before was stood on the opposite platform. Weird. It was then that you noticed he was in the uniform for St. Peter’s, with a backpack hung on one shoulder and a gym bag on the floor- grim move from the newbie. It suddenly hit you however. He was on the wrong platform, and could end up getting on a tram further into the city centre rather than away from it. God, this was awkward. You could leave him? it would be kind of funny? but also a bit snide.

No.

Don’t do that you told yourself. Deciding to ‘start the new term right’ you cleared your throat before shouting across

“You going to St. Pete’s mate?”

He looked up from the ground, obviously somewhat confused, checking to see whoever the person who had shouted was talking too. Luckily, this was quite easy, given that he then noticed that he was in fact the only person on the platform. You gave a wave and as friendly a smile as you could muster given it wasn’t even 8 o’clock yet, in a desperate attempt to get his attention, which just so happened to work.

“Um, yeah. Why?”

“Because given that you’re on the wrong platform, you’re gonna have a very hard time getting there”. His jaw dropped a little

“You are joking, right?”

“Nope!”, you popped the ‘p’, just for emphasis, “So... are you just gonna stand there like a lemon or change platforms then?”. He quickly picked his bag off the ground and jogged up the steps to the bridge. As he crossed you rolled the waistband of your skirt up, realising that you previously looked a little to nun-ish for your liking. By the time you had finished fixing up your appearance the mysterious blonde was plodding down the steps, towards you. Shit. Now what?

You had just about composed yourself by the time he reached you.

“Ben. Ben Jones” he spoke, before offering his hand to shake.

“You’re very proper aren’t you!?”, you thought out loud “guessing you're not from up here then hm? Name’s y/n l/n by the way, I go to St. Mary’s”, you said, trying to remain friendly.

“Yeah, moved up from Bournemouth at the start of summer. My parents wanted to come up here so I had a chance of getting some sort of sports scholarship or something for rugby, y’know, for uni and that”. He spoke with quite a low, quiet voice, but definitely had a southern accent that you couldn’t imagine going any time soon. Now he was stood nearer, you had managed to get a clearer picture of Ben; he was very well built and had the physique of a genuine sportsman, He wasn’t too tall- but still taller than you by a considerable amount. His facial features were mostly soft, although his nose looked like it could have been broken in past games and he had the most striking green eyes.

“Well, you’d have had a pretty difficult time getting anywhere if you were stuck in the centre of town.” you both let out a laugh.

“Honestly, I’m such a melt, only I could do that on one of the few days that being on time actually matters”. You broke eye contact momentarily to see that a tram was approaching.

“Right then” you said, stepping towards the edge of the platform. “We’re a bit early but I normally get a coffee anyway, you can come if you want? I mean, you don’t have to get this one if you don’t want but if you do then the offer’s there..” You trailed off, noticing that you had waffled on a bit.

“Aha, no it’s fine! I’d be happy to get this one, you’re literally the first person I’ve spoken to who’s like, my age so it’s not like I have anyone to wait for. Plus, I’ll probably get lost if you abandon me now.” He looked up with puppy dog eyes after picking his gym bag off the floor again.

Stepping on the tram, you decided to offer him your first piece of valuable advice; “Right… Well. If we’re gonna be mates I better give you the rules of the road up here”.

“Go on then, local expert”, he said with a smirk.

“First things first. Don’t put your bag on the floor. It’s crusty and makes you look like a gimp”.

“Noted”, he spoke as the pair of you sat on the grey seats.

“Second. Most of the boys are maniacs and the girls are awful bitches, I’d say that I’d help you figure out who’s who but you’ll probably be able to decide for yourself”.

“Hm, you’re really selling it to me. The brutal honesty is a nice touch”. You gave a playful punch to the side of his arm, with a grin smeared across your face.

“Swear down mate, you’ll thank me later for this though.”

The journey passed in a flash, the pair of you talking like friends reunited. You learnt that he had a beagle named Frankie, lived not too far from you, he played rugby for teams but also enjoyed drama and music.

“You’re quite the character aren’t you! can’t say I took you for a performing arts kinda guy”

“Well… What kind of person did you take me as then, all knowing-y/n”

“Well Ben from Bournemouth.. that would be telling wouldn’t it, I can tell you however that this is our stop though”. You both stood up, grabbing your bags and heading for the doors of the carriage. You had a text from Niamh and Maria earlier on in the journey saying they’d be late and there was no point waiting for them, so you carried on the walk alone with Ben.

“If I left you here right now, would you have any clue where to go?” you questioned, genuinely intrigued.

“Erm.. no… I would have to stand around for a bit and hope someone takes pity on me”

“What about google maps though??”

“Hmm.. Let’s just say that there’s a reason I don’t take geography”

The coffee shop was about the same distance from the tram stop as is was from school, and it was about 20 past 8 when you pushed open the door with a small chime. It was a cosy little café, situated on the corner of the market street with wicker chairs outside and brown leather sofas inside. You never stayed in however, much preferring to enjoy whatever you brought during the rest of the walk to school. Today was a latte day, no questions asked. You liked to rotate throughout a few different drinks, depending on your mood. Ben stood close by as you explained how you’d most definitely be on black coffee by this time next week, but you might have the odd pumpkin spiced latte as September moved into October, just for novelty really. He gave out a small chuckle,

“You really are in a league of your own aren’t you? I’ve known you like an hour and I’m convinced you hold the secrets of the universe or some shit”. You liked Ben. He was good company and you had a fair bit in common;

“and what if I did hold the secrets of the universe huh?”

“I’d use the black market to sell you to a looney philosopher somewhere or other and make myself some fat stacks.” You both doubled over in complete hysterics. Would it be weird to say that you’d never bonded so quickly with someone? yeah, probably you thought, brushing the idea away quickly. Your giggle fit was quickly broken up however when the barista announced that your drink was ready, you fished the loose change out of your pocket and handed it over moments later,

“keep the change mate” you said politely, turning on your heel towards the door once again.

“You really are quite the angel aren’t you?” the boy walking next to you said “ooooo, keep the change mate, I’m y/n and I am the source of all life and joy” he mocked.

“You know it blondie”, you retorted with a smirk.

You had walked a fair deal further, now following the main road and considerably nearer to school when Ben reached into his inside pocket .pulling out a cigarette and lighter. You silently watched out of the corner of your eye as he held the stick in his mouth and lit one end, he inhaled deeply before taking it from between his lips to exhale. Before his could bring his hand back up however, you plucked it from his fingers and drew a breath from it yourself before throwing it down and stamping on it. Ben simply stood with his mouth hung open looking dumbfounded. “Whoa steady on...What the fuck was that about then? Oh… and for the record, you owe me a cig now!”, he spoke with a tone of shock mixed with annoyance

“Boo-Hoo”, you spoke back, “But neither of us can have a first day back if we get excluded before we even get to school you dimwit. There’s teachers stood by the traffic lights down there”, you pointed further down the pavement. “See for yourself if you want…” you trailed off. Ben looked a little guilty, realising that he could have got you both in a good deal of trouble,

“Ah, Right, Okay… Sorry about that..”

“Don’t worry about it. Honestly. It’s fine, you’re new! You’ve got a lot to learn still”, you gave him a reassuring smile, but you could tell that he still felt a twinge of regret.

The pair of you carried on the walk in a comfortable silence, and as you approached St. Peter’s a thought struck you. “Right. After school, wait for me here, I don’t really want you being lost in a new town stuck on my conscience all night”

“How noble of you, Miss y/l/n! How will I ever repay you for this selfless act of charity!” He exaggerated, running his hands through his hair as he spoke.

“We’ll have to see about that one won’t we, I guess”, You hitched your bag back onto your shoulder properly. Before he turned into the courtyard of his new school he grabbed your arm,

“Wait a minute... you give off way too much chaotic energy for things to run smoothly. What’s your snap or your number or something incase something goes horribly wrong” He spoke again, with a slight twinkle in his eyes.

“Hm, go on then, I’ll give you my number then you can just add me on snapchat with it too if you really want. Two birds with one stone ‘n all that”, you reached into your bag and pulled out a pen. “Gimmie something to write on, chop chop matey!” you spoke hurridley, realising that you only had 10 minutes before you needed to be sat down in your first registration of the academic year. In a panic, he stuck out his hand, and you began to scribble down the first few digits.

“Fucking hell! I thought you were writing it down not tattooing it!”, he took in a sharp breath.

“Hm.. What.. Wait! Shit, sorry.. I’m a bit heavy handed”. You finished writing the numbers down with a conscious attempt not to press quite so hard and then threw the pen back into your bag.

“Aight then, I’ll see you later yeah?” He looked up at you,

“See ya later lemon boy”. You shot another smile before continuing on a few meters further down the path and approached the gates of St. Mary’s.

Hello old friend, you thought before taking a deep breath and turning into the school, with no way out for the next few hours at least. You stepped hurriedly through the labyrinth of corridors before reaching the room where you’d be registered. Throwing your bag onto your usual desk you could feel two sets of eyes on you.

“y/n l/n, You have some explaining to do! go on then, who’s the boy?” Niamh began, a devilish grin on her face.

“Gimme a second to sort my life out yeah? I just need to get my bearings then you can interrogate me”, you spoke, followed by a heavy sigh. After you put your bag in your new locker you returned to the desk where you were greeted by your long time friends once again. “Wait a minute, how do you even know? started hiring government spies or some shit?”

“Erm, no. But that’s quite a good idea actually. If you’re that desperate to know, Lewis sent me a message asking if you’d got a boyfriend over summer..” You let out a scoff before Maria could continue. “He still really likes you ya know?”

“Yes mum, I do know, you remind me most days” You all let out a laugh, attracting some attention from the neighboring tables.

“We’re off topic, you still need to explain yourself and we have like, 3 minutes until the bell goes” Niamh interrupted, she had always been the most conscious member of the group, as much as both you and Maria hated to admit.

“Right, I’ll keep it simple. I was at the met stop and he was stood on the wrong side so I told him to switch otherwise he’d never make it to school then he told me that his name’s Ben and he’s new and he’s in our year and then we got on the tram and then we went to get coffee then he decided he wanted a smoke and then I told him off and then we got to school and then I told him I’d meet him after school then I walked into school and now I’m here with you two” You barely paused for breath and gasped before either of your friends could continue, both of them looking shocked and rather confused.

“Right. You can explain that all again later in a bit only at least 76 times slower. ok? thanks? nice” is all Maria managed to respond before the door swung open and your teacher walked in...

Hope you enjoy !!❤️

Let me know if you want adding to the taglist !! :)

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years

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Evil As Plain A The Collar On His Neck - PhannieMay- Day 21 Double Date

Summary: Danny’s revisiting the dating scene, but just is Jazz doing here?

Sequel to my fic A Sister Always Has Her Reasons

“And why do you have to come again?”

Jazz rolls her eyes, “mom and dad asked me to chaperone after what happened last time”. Danny can’t help but groan and cringe as he remembers the disastrous date with Star, which of course got interrupted by a ghost and resulted in him going home with shredded clothing.

Glaring at his sisters “charge” who snickers at Danny, which Jazz also rolls her eyes at, “you could at least try to get along”. Danny only glares at her incredulously for that, how could he ever get along with him.

But spotting his old, and possibly new, flame changes his mood, “hey Val!”. Catching his sister muttering at her “charge”, as Danny runs over to Valerie, “now don’t you go scaring her mister, or you will be in shit”.

Danny can tell Valerie’s a bit confused, “try to ignore them. My parents are being a bit over bearing after my last date resulted in blood loss and ruined clothing”. Valerie snickers at that, “your entire family is wacky, including you”, shrugging, “but clearly my tastes are wack”.

“I’ll take wacky any day, much more interesting”, Danny chuckles as they take a seat together, with the other two close behind.

Danny uses his menu to block out the other guy, which Valerie leans into to whisper at him, “let me guess, you don’t get along with Mr. tall, built, and brooding over there?”. Danny shakes his head and glares at the menu, “enemy is a pretty accurate descriptor. But where Jazz goes, It goes too”.

“It? Now that’s just mean-”, the rest of Valerie’s comment gets cut off as Jazz clears her throat. Danny, lowering the menu, glares at her. Who rolls her eyes and points at the approaching waiter, resulting in Danny blushing a bit and mean chucking coming from across the table.

“So what will you four being having to drink today?”, the two nineteen-year-olds order Faygo, Delicious Red for Valerie and Moon Mist for Danny. Lemon water for Jazz, who then glares at her “charge” as he orders a Green Lantern. He just shrugs, “it’s not like I’ve got a liver to piss off, and it’s not like I care”, while Danny’s just wondering where the hell he got an ID and what the hell’s even on it. Jazz rolls her eyes, “that stuff tastes awful though”.

“He’s awful, so it fits”, Jazz glares at Danny. While Valerie talks over the strangers snickering, “okay, who are you? I thought I’d seen everyone in Amity and there’s no way I’d miss someone walking around with an oversized neon green collar”. Danny groans slightly as Jazz responds, “the big guys' name is Dan, bit of a trouble maker so he’s stuck with me”. Danny blinks at her incredulously, “a bit?”. While Dan smirks and stretches his arms over the back of his head, fully noticing Valerie trying to not stare at his muscular arms, “they could snap your damn neck”.

Jazz shakes her head, “well, you lasted twenty minutes”, while Valerie glances at Danny. Patting her leg, “he won’t actually be doing that”. Muttering under his breath, “only because he isn’t allowed to”.

Jazz snorts as Dan flat-out tosses the entire drink in his mouth, downing it in one gulp. While the waiter goes a bit bug-eyed, promptly bringing him another. Jazz cuts him off after the fourth, laughing, “I’m not rich! stop that!”, pointing at the waiter, “and you! Stop encouraging him!”. While Dan leans his head back and laughs, which is plain weird to Danny. Though he can’t help but laugh a little along with Valerie, while the waiter looks like he’s just had a damn good day.

Eventually getting their food: caramelised salmon for Valerie, chicken penne for Danny, salad with garlic toast for Jazz; and, as per requested, the bloodiest thing they could serve, eight-ounce steak cooked blue with a side of ribs, for Dan. The waiter, looking at him, “just so you know, that is the single weirdest way anyone has ever requested for anything here”. Turning his head to the Fenton girl, “you Fenton’s sure like ‘em weird, don’tcha?”.

Danny coughs into his hand a bit at that but eyes Jazz questioningly as she blushes, even more weirded out as she waves him off.

Valerie’s not sure why Danny’s eyeing his sister oddly, the waiter wasn’t exactly wrong, she was definitely odd herself; though this guy’s odder.

Shoving one of her green beans at Danny, who just takes it with his mouth and eats it. “So, you figured out how to fling yourself into the void of space yet?”, Danny chuckles at her question fully remembering promising to do so as his yearbook quote, “once or twice, still working on the “and die” part”.

“The answer to that question has been around for fifth-teen years”, Danny glares at Dan and stabs at his noodles a bit aggressively. Dan smirks and violently snaps his teeth around a large piece of steak, loud enough to make the people across from them jump and scoot their chairs away a bit.

Valerie points her fork at him, “you have issues”, while he digs in his mouth and pulls out a tooth he broke loose. Flicking it across the table, out of sight before it dissolves into ectoplasm, snickering, “your idea of issue, is my idea of a good time, little red birdy”.

Valerie squints at him while Danny mildly chokes, glaring subtly at Dan.

Jazz is torn between being slightly grossed out and wanting to giggle a bit, for being twenty-nine, the guy sure was an overdramatic baby, “you just have to be a mildly terrifying ball of tease, don’t you?”.

Dan pokes her in the side, barely whispering, “I get my pleasures where I can”. Before ecto-zapping her lightly under the table, which she hits him playfully for, while he just snickers a bunch. Doing it more until she actually starts laughing, chuckling, “it’s my right by might, soft flower”. Dan leans back against the booth, satisfied, before biting clean through a rib bone; with one arm behind his head.

Valerie will admit it’s a little adorable Jazz collecting herself and patting the huge guy on the head, which he seems quite pleased by. Danny must have some serious issues with Dan to look so put off though, he won’t admit it but he is rather protective of his sister. Well, ok, he’s protective of everyone actually.

Elbowing him, “oh whatever, but since the party crashers are distracted...”.

Danny decides to deal with whatever weirdness later in lue of taking the chance to kiss Valerie, not giving a damn that Dan probably noticed. While Dan and Jazz take turns ruffling up each others hair, though he takes the time to zap Danny purely to annoy him.

Valerie has no clue what the zap was, there wasn’t supposed to be literal sparks flying, she also has no clue why Danny’s glaring at Dan again.

Danny decides to roll with it, to not give Dan the satisfaction, smirking at him before turning and poking Valerie, “well, when sparks fly, the couple must surely be shockingly perfect”, with a shit-eating grin, “so clearly with us, lightning struck twice”. While Valerie snorts, Danny a bit surprised to see Dan looking rather amused while Jazz just groans.

Dan, chuckling at Jazz, “with this weather, I’d say we could bolt and see if any actually strikes”. Danny can’t help but respond, “sounds like a killer idea to me”. Which Dan actually snorts at, while Jazz gapes excitedly, whispering, “did they just, get along?”.

While Valerie mutters under her breath, “he’s like a jerkier version of Danny”. Which makes her blink, realising that makes it genuinely kind of weird that Jazz is clearly either dating or borderline dating this guy. Or they just have a really really weird version of friendship; Valerie’s not placing her bets on the last one though. But considering half the damn town seems to ship the Red Huntress with Phantom, and she’s not exactly entirely opposed to the idea; her eyes are just firmly elsewhere. So who was she to judge here?

It doesn’t take long after that for the waiter to bring them their bill. Unsurprisingly, Jazz pays for the tip and most of the meal thanks to a certain oversized someone. Poking at him with the bill as they all get up to leave, he shrugs, “could have just left, besides, money’s a human issue”. Jazz glares at him, “that’s wrong and even if you don’t care, I do”. Dan stretches his arms over his head, “everyone else's wrong, is my oh so very right”. Dan smirks knowing that was part of the allure of this thing with Jazz, along with annoying his younger self. Though he does find it odd, yet pleasant, that his affections are more genuine than that. Not that he’ll admit that to Danny.

While Valerie and Danny walk a fair bit behind the older pair, “you’ve officially succeeded in giving me the weirdest date ever”. Danny smirks loosely and bumps his shoulder into hers, “so this mission to Venus was a success then?”. Rolling her eyes at him, “absolutely, you reckless space boy”.

Not a single one jumps as a massive thunderclap goes off, rattling a few windows. Both Jazz and Valerie say to their respective ghostly men, “if I die, I’m dragging you down with me”. Both of whom responded, “guess I’ll die”.

End.

#danny phantom #phandom #phanniemay #phanniemay19 #double date #danny fenton #valerie gray #jazz fenton #dan phantom #grayghost #jazz x dan #whateven is that ship name?#evil secrets?#evil flower?#darkened flower?#flowering redemption?#phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

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act your age: [1] Beautiful

Chapter Summary: Giselle, queen bee of Year 10, wants to audition for Heathers but is tired of being typecast as the Mean Girl. John is far too sweet for his own good. Roger doesn’t want to be here.

Word Count: 2262 | [act your age masterpost]

The moment the casting call gets pinned on the notice board outside of the arts department staff room, Giselle knows, one way or another, that she’s going to be a part of it.

“Did you see the school’s putting on Heathers?” When she brings it up at lunch, her friends all nod and giggle and make comments about how ‘wouldn’t it be fun if we all auditioned; we could be the Heathers!’ and something in Giselle’s gut twists as she gives them a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes as she hears them make assumptions about the casting. Taking a long sip on her chocolate milk and listens to the girls butcher lyrics and melodies, though she doesn’t bother correct them, they’re having fun after all, and besides, she’s the only one who’d benefit from showing them up, and despite popular opinion, she’s not mean or needlessly cruel like that.

Obviously she’s not blind to the way people regard her, she knows she’s pretty and rich and standoffish, which is partially a carefully cultivated personality she’s developed to survive high school, but it also happens to be partially things she can’t control, but that she has to take in stride anyways. She’s lived her life in the shadow of her parents, and how she’s presented herself, how she acts, has always been seen as a reflection on them. Her mother’s never been so high maintenance, but everyone talks about her father, and he can’t help but listen.

Speaking of her father, he’s elated at the prospect of her auditioning; he’s a producer, and a successful one at that, has had his hand in almost all of the big-name shows that have come through this town for the past thirty years. Giselle’s childhood had been complimentary tickets and front row seats and backstage passes; to see her finally taking an interest in actually performing was something akin to a return on a long-term investment, not that her father would ever say that to her, but part of her could tell.

Her mother smiles gently at Giselle over afternoon tea, Giselle’s dumped her bag on the floor by the kitchen island and is talking through her audition song choices out loud, and her mother looks on in awe. The school just asked for a three minute song, it didn’t have to be from Heathers, it didn’t even have to be from a musical, just to make it easier on those kids who probably weren’t as well versed in musical theatre history. Giselle, however, had practically been baptised in it, and wanted to show off more than just her impressive vocal range.

“You’re gonna ace it, Jellybean.” Her mother muses with a fond grin as there’s a lull and Giselle devours a banana. Giselle hums and grins, leans into it when her mother kisses her forehead, and then is off and running, taking her bag and changing into her work uniform.

“Did you hear about the musical?” It seems like she’s asking everyone, and in moment of peace at work, that includes John Deacon, who was behind the counter filling a bucket with water and soap. He makes a noise that Giselle takes to mean that he hasn’t, though he’s still mostly focused on his task at hand. “I’m thinking of auditioning.”

Giselle at work is nothing like Giselle at school, and it took John almost a full three weeks to realise this. They’re in the same year, in some of the same classes, but they’ve never spoken more than two words to each other before they started working together at the cafe that sat between their two houses.

“You should, you’d do great.” There isn’t even a slight hesitation before his response, and Giselle is beaming despite herself.

“You don’t even know what show it is.” She counters, still wearing a grin, and John puts the bucket on the floor and sticks his mop in it.

“Yeah but I’ve heard you sing.”

John might be one of the only truly positive forces in her life, Giselle realises as another customer steps up to the counter, and it shows. It’s not often that she puts up a front around him, at first it was because she was simply too tired from work to bother, and after all, it’s just John Deacon after all, it’s not like it’s a huge betrayal of trust if he lets it slip she smiles with real emotion on occasion. But the thing is, it doesn’t take long for her to realise that he’s as genuine as she is usually guarded, though he’s quiet enough that no-one really seems to notice.

By now, they’re actually, genuinely, very good friends, even if it doesn’t seem like it to anyone else. John talks her through her nerves for the weeks leading up to the audition, though he’s the only person outside of her family who she lets see her like this, and never at school. She’s different there, not cruel or unkind, just guarded; she’s not allowed to show hesitation like this at school, and it makes John’s chest tighten just a little knowing she allows herself to be like this around him.

The day before her audition, when Giselle’s shift ends and she’s about to head home for the night, John gives her a hug. It’s unexpected, she’s never taken him for a hugger, but it’s exactly what she needs right now after working herself up at the prospect of the looming audition.

“You’re gonna do great, Geeg,” he’s the only one who uses that nickname, the only person her age who she’d let get away with it, and she hugs him back. “Just get a good night’s sleep, drink plenty of water, maybe some lemon and honey, okay?” Pulling back, he grins at Giselle’s faux exasperation.

“Yes, mum.” Giselle rolls her eyes, but gives his shoulder a thankful squeeze before heading home.

“God, how’d they drag you into this?” When Giselle arrives at the music room fifteen minutes before her scheduled time slot, her stomach in knots, there’s only one other person waiting. She knows immediately from the blonde hair and flippant tone that it’s Roger Taylor, and he looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“I,” Giselle hesitates, frowning, “I signed up?” She’s confused more than anything else, phone in her hand, sheet music in front sleeve of the binder she’s got clutched to her chest. Roger makes a dismissive noise in the back of his throat, tipping his head back and a silence falls between them, broken only by the faint and not too terrible audition song that’s being muffled by the closed door.

“You’re Roger, right?” Her voice surprisingly level and confident; he seems to know who she is, if his earlier comment is anything to go off of. When he smiles, it’s an easy, cocky grin, and she rolls her eyes at him.

“Guilty as charged,” he confirms easily, “and you’re Giselle.” He pauses, regarding her for only the barest moment before he hums, “actually, ‘shouldn’t be surprised you’re here.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Bristling at the implication, it takes her a moment to push down the anger that flared within her when he mentions her father; he didn’t mean it as an insult, just making note of the correlation between her family and her current situation, “I’m not my father.”

“Would be weird if you were.” Roger agrees easily. The response takes Giselle by surprise enough that her anger dies down, and by then the other auditionee, a girl in Roger’s year, Giselle is pretty sure, invites him in for his audition, holding the door for him while blushing. She wishes him luck, and he winks at her, telling her he won’t need it. Before the door closes completely, both girls hear him announce himself.

“Hi, I’m Roger Taylor, I’m auditioning for the role of tree number three and I’ve prepared Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” So clearly he does not want to be there. The other girl hides a giggle and doesn’t even acknowledge Giselle as she leaves.

The thing is, of what she hears of it, his audition actually goes really well, a pitch-perfect version of Twinkle Twinkle if she’s ever heard it. She’s too nervous to tell him that, especially when his audition lasts all of five minutes, putting them ahead of schedule, and giving Giselle no time to calm her racing heart. She’s outwardly nervous, which is something she doesn’t allow herself to be on campus, or during daylight hours. The worst part is that when he opens the door, Roger Taylor sees her wide-eyed nervousness as he calls her in. He pauses for a beat afterward, frowning; he knew Giselle by reputation, the same way she knew him-

As soon as he starts considering that he may have seen a crack in her armour, it’s as if a physical barrier comes up, hiding her fear behind her eyes and a thin smile, and with a clear and precise focus, she pulls her lyrics sheet from her folder, breezing past him. Fifteen year olds are so fuckin’ weird, is all he really thinks after that.

Giselle waits until the door closes completely before she gives the panel, which consisted of the drama teacher and the music teacher, her most winning smile. They greet her kindly, and the music teacher reaches out for the music sheet and Giselle’s phone as she hands them over. They ask her who she’s auditioning for, what she’s singing, and seem surprised when she tells them she’s going for the lead, for Veronica.

She can see it in their eyes, they expect her to be a Heather, just like her friends, just like the rest of this school. They’re not meant to and they know it, can’t just judge kids like that, and they really try to not let it show, but Giselle saw it anyways.

“I’ll be singing Breathe from In the Heights.” She says, and her voice doesn’t shake.

When the song finally finishes, there’s a ringing in her ears, like the world around her has turned to white noise, and she can feel herself breathing hard, hands trembling, but she doesn’t look away from the teachers. There’s no hesitation; they ask her to prepare a song for both Veronica and Heather Chandler, and tell her when callbacks are.

The tremble doesn’t leave her hands as she opens the door for the next kid, a girl in the year above her who is giving her this wide-eyed look like she heard Giselle’s entire audition and is dreading having to follow it, but when the girl shuts the door behind her, Giselle sees there’s one other person waiting in the hallway.

“That sounded lovely from out here, how did it go?” It’s John, smiling and sitting on the window sill, and Giselle's response catches in her throat, just for a moment.

“Are you auditioning?” She asks, confused, and he hops down from his seat, shaking his head, offering a shrug when her brow furrowed.

“I wanted to come cheer you on, sorry I couldn’t get here earlier.” He’s beaming at her, picking up her folder where she’d left it on one of the seats, handing it to her. “I don’t have long, I’ve got a half-programmed robot waiting for me back in the computer lab.” He muses as they take a few steps down the hall, and Giselle can’t bring herself to look at him; John Deacon, who everyone else in class jokes about building himself a friend rather than making the effort of actually talking to someone, made the effort for her. They’re friends, sure, but... Giselle doesn’t want to think about how pleased this all makes her feel.

“I think it went really well.” She admits, not reverting entirely to her popular persona, the smile she gives him is genuine. “I got a callback.” She grins tentatively, and John beams back at her, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“See, I told you you had nothing to worry about,” he starts, but Giselle’s answer is a reflexive snap.

“I was never worried.” It’s so clipped it stings a little, and she regrets it as soon as she says it, her cool mask now firmly in place no matter how much she wants to remove it. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to deny any sign of weakness, even though she knew John meant nothing by it.

But still, they’ve stopped walking.

“Of course you weren’t,” his voice is soft and reserved in the wake of the sharp tone shift, and he gives her a thin, guarded smile, “I should be getting back to my robot; I’m glad it went well, Geeg.” He hesitates like he wants to say something else, but Giselle doesn’t know what to say, how to explain or how to apologise, and turns and veers off down the hallway towards the engineering department.

And just like that, she feels anxious again, which isn’t a feeling she’s well versed with; she’s never snapped at John before, and he’s never left like that, and the anxious feeling lasts all through the next day and a half while she throws herself into learning her new songs, though it’s not going well. She’s dwelling on it, she knows she can’t focus, and the moment she apologises to him at work, and he grins at her like there’s nothing wrong in the world, she knows without even trying that she could hit every note of Candy Store if she wanted to right now. She doesn’t, and the customer is getting a little impatient, but she can’t stop smiling.

the heathers: @whoschantel

[message me to be added to the tag list xx]

#roger taylor #john deacon #roger taylor imagine #john deacon imagine #john deacon x oc #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #act your age #queen #queen imagines #high school au #and all the queen's men #ask your destiny to dance fic #heathers #heathersrelated

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deadcactuswalking · 3 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 17/04/2021 (Polo G, Dave, Doja Cat & SZA, Taylor Swift)

Okay, so, UK Singles Chart time – all hell broke loose. I knew Taylor Swift and Dave would make an impact but I was also not expecting all of the chaos to come with it. With that said, Lil Nas X is still at #1 for a third week with “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” and let’s just get through with this. This is REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

In this starting rundown segment, I’ve got a lot to cover so I’ll make it quick, no nonsense. First of all, I cover the UK Top 75. Why the top 75? I’m difficult – even though it’s actually more convenient. Secondly, the notable drop-outs – songs that peaked in the top 40 or spent more than five weeks on the chart that are gone from the top 75 this week thanks to this avalanche of 14 or so new arrivals. This week, we say goodbye to a bunch of our debuts from last week as well as “telepatía” by Kali Uchis, “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey, “You’re Mines Still” by Yung Bleu and remixed by Drake, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles, “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers and several #1 hits, including “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac, “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I and finally, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi, after spending a whopping 113 weeks in this region... despite being terrible. I mean, it’ll be back next week but celebrate the little victories, like our returns, for example. “X Gon’ Give it to Ya” by the late DMX is back at #72 after the passing of the hip-hop icon last week. This legendary song was actually one of his later hits – not even a hit in the States – and originally peaked at #6 in the UK back in 2003. We sadly don’t see anything else from DMX returning but we do also see Taylor Swift’s re-recorded version of “Love Story” revisiting the charts at #45 off the album boost.

Now for the songs that fell or rose this week, starting with the notable losses, being songs that dropped five spots or more. First, we have “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #13, followed by “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #17, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber at #20, “Save Your Tears” by the Weeknd at #22, “Up” by Cardi B at #23, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #25, “Latest Trends” by AI x JI plummeting at #28, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G at #29, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo at #34, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #35, “Anyone” by Justin Bieber at #40, “Black Hole” by Griff at #41, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’Bone Man at #43, “WITHOUT YOU” by the Kid LAROI at #44, “Binding Lights” by the Weeknd at #46, “Goosebumps” by HVME and Travis Scott at #47, “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #48, “Medicine” by James Arthur at #49, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #50, “Met Him Last Night” by Demi Lovato featuring Ariana Grande at #54 off of the debut, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #58, Doja Cat’s “Streets” at #60 and “Best Friend” with Saweetie at #61, “Tonight” by Ghost Killer Track featuring D-Block Europe at #62, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #63, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #66, “Track Star” by Mooski at #67, “Headshot” by Lil Tjay, Fivio Foreign and Polo G at #73, “What Other People Say” by Sam Fischer and Demi Lovato at #74 and finally, whatever’s left of Drake as “What’s Next” is at #68 and “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” with Rick Ross is at #70.

Our gains are arguably more interesting, as it’s impressive to climb five spots or higher or reach the top 40 for the first time in the midst of all this nonsense. Therefore, we do have just a few gains, those being “Runaway” by AURORA at #51 off of the debut, “Nice to Meet Ya” by Wes Nelson featuring Yxng Bane making a surprise attack at the top 40 going to #39 off of the debut, “Good Without” by Mimi Webb at #18 and “Ferrari Horses” by D-Block Europe and RAYE continuing its gains up to #16. That’s pretty much it – still took a while – so let’s get through those 14 new arrivals, huh? God help me.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing)” – Fred again.. and The Blessed Madonna

Produced by Boston Bun and Fred again..

This is one of the songs that really padded out our new arrivals list – to explain, a lot of the time, these songs were released weeks ago and only now gain enough traction to debut within the top 75 and hence be discussed by me. This one just happens to have popped up in a week where everything is going on already so it kind of gets lost in incoherency but regardless, this is a song from Ed Sheeran’s producer Fred Gibson, who I refuse to call by his stage name, from his most recent project featuring vocals from The Blessed Madonna, most commonly known right now as the producer and DJ behind the club mix edition of Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia and hence the “Levitating” remix with Missy Elliott and, well, actual Madonna. The song itself is one I’m surprised is about anything but has these mostly spoken word vocals about how we as a world have “lost dancing” to the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as hugs, and, well, that’s all she decides to elaborate about. She also guarantees that once everything is over, “what comes next will be marvellous”. Whilst I appreciate the sentiment, I think it’s almost a dangerous promise, given that we’ll be in this pandemic for longer than anyone expected and it’s pretty evident that we’ll still be keeping to social distancing as the vaccine roll-out continues all throughout this year. At this point, we’re still in lockdown and international travel will still be stunted for years after the fact. This song feels like The Blessed Madonna getting on her pedestal about the arts and their impact on people without going into any detail that warrants the soapbox, bizarrely over some synth-heavy deep house beat that decides to do little more than flutter through the entirety of the five-minute runtime. Yeah, this is pretty insufferable. Next.

#71 – “Slumber Party” – Ashnikko featuring Princess Nokia

Produced by CallMeTheKidd

Okay, so TikTok picks this one up and the label then decides to push this over “Deal with It”, a brilliant pop song that was right there and already had the high-budget video to boot? Regardless, this is taken from Ashnikko’s debut mixtape of sorts, Demidevil, and whilst as a whole the project does little more than act as harmless fun guising as anything more, a couple of the singles are genuinely pretty great, including this one, which seems to be a break-out hit for rapper Princess Nokia. This song relies on the jerkiness of its almost DJ Mustard-esque club beat and that warped might-be-a-flute loop to support Ashnikko’s similarly sloppy delivery, which decides to be as in character in possible – of which I mean that it is obnoxious and frankly ridiculously stupid. This isn’t a “slumber party” at all, and whilst the childish implications are if anything kind of unnerving, there is a lot of fun to be had here if you get past the “kawaii hentai boobies” in the chorus. Nokia’s verse continues the album’s general early 2000s aesthetic with her referencing many hits and singers from that time period in a pretty slick albeit one-and-done verse that should really be extended further than it is. I mean, I would have preferred that to Ashnikko’s second verse comparing her girlfriend to the little girl from The Addams Family, before mentioning how her eyes go black when she orgasms and that her spit tastes like Juicy Fruit gum. Okay, so when it comes to filthy lesbian rap I think I prefer acts like BASSIDE but for what it’s worth, this is surreal and fun enough for me to like. I hope it does well, but know she has better songs even on that same tape.

#69 – “Versus” – SL and M1llionz

Produced by Lucas Dante and Yng Cld

Oh, hey, another drill track by two guys produced by two guys for two guys to rap about how cool it is to be the two guys they are. I guess the gimmick here is that the single actually has an instrumental version as well for whatever reason; I guess they want people to remix the track. That would make sense, as this beat is immediately recognisable from that chipmunk squeak of a glitched vocal sample they use. In fact, I think I prefer the instrumental version because when those booming 808s come in, it hits really hard especially with the scattering drill percussion. SL and M1llionz are trading bars here in what is basically one verse and it’s not like they’re saying nothing of interest here as there is a viable enough amount of detail here in these bars about exactly what you’d expect. But that’s exactly what it is: exactly what you’d expect. By the first verse, you’ve already heard SL talk about watching The Boondocks and that’s about as interesting as it gets. Sure, the interplay between the two guys in this case is pretty smooth, but it goes on for about a minute too long and M1llionz has a lot more charisma than SL so it does feel like half the song is wasted away. The producers know that too, as they decide to fade the song out very quickly after M1llionz stops rapping his final bars. This is fine – on some days, I’d probably call it really good – but it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.

#64 – “Starstruck” – Years & Years

Produced by Mark Ralph and Nathaniel Ledwidge

We’re not even out of that bottom third of the chart and we’ve still got a lot ahead of us before we get above that point. Here, we have “Starstruck”, sadly not the Lady Gaga or 3OH!3 song but instead the first officially solo song by Years & Years, which is now just frontman Olly Alexander after his bandmates’ departure, similar to Panic! at the Disco except the members seem to be on good terms, or Ritt Momney, except no one here is a Mormon missionary... yet. Whilst you could see this from a mile away if you had listened to that last album, it would be deceiving to say it’s only Olly this time around as he’s enlisted several outside producers and writers to craft a pretty straightforward love song. Well, is it any good? I’m not entirely sold on it, mostly because it seems to reject all of the lyrical intrigue there was in those past two albums – at least intermittently – for a pretty generic if not pure and lovely content, with the most interesting of lyrics being about sipping his partner up like cosmic juice, which I’ll admit got a laugh out of me. It is fitting for how this janky dance-pop song sounds as sonically it’s kind of a quirky mess with a lot of bassy grooves in the verses only to be replaced by a shiny synth blend that completely shrouds the chorus in video game sound effects and French house-esque filter effects. This sound is very much a late-2000s early-2010s throwback in some ways and throwing it back even further in others, which creates an interesting sound but not enough to not let this become easily stale after just the second chorus, especially if it’s going to purposefully fumble its climax for an awkward build-up that involves basically revealing the drop measures before it should have. Yeah, I want to like this but it just seems kind of confused as it is. I’m still going to listen to that third album whenever it comes, but I’m somewhat disappointed with this lead single thus far.

#57 – “Lingo” – Deno featuring J.I. the Prince of NY and Chunkz

Produced by Da Beatfreakz

Alright, so British rapper Deno has enlisted New York rapper J.I. – who I refuse to call by his full stage name – and Chunkz, who I’m pretty sure is some YouTuber, to hop on a beat from DaBeatfreakz, specifically this watery R&B beat with vocal loops drowned out by bass and some awkward mixing. Deno isn’t much of a presence in the verse or chorus, J.I. talks about some girl not chewing him right and Chunkz, who sounds awful on any beat with the whiny Auto-Tuned mumble, somehow doesn’t say anything of interest despite being the semi-professional comedian of these three guys, or at least not before Deno takes over his verse and they all give up for the last couple measures. Yes, that was one sentence – this song doesn’t deserve much more.

#56 – “Shy Away” – twenty one pilots

Produced by Tyler Joseph

I’ve never been that big a fan of twenty one pilots, but I was actually pretty fond of her most recent album, Trench. What fascinates me about them is how they seemed to have done really well for themselves that one time in the Blurryface era and have coasted off the success of that to fund some of their more out-there and experimental musical aspirations. I don’t think they’re looking for big hits anymore – which is good because this won’t be one – but people will always be looking out for what they do next, and they’ve just announced a new album coming soon with this as the lead single. Thankfully, it’s not that COVID-19 pandemic pandering from last year which got on my nerves a lot more than it should. “Shy Away”, instead, goes for... 1980s dance-punk, because, of course. I do love that jerky synth lead and how well it’s backed by that chugging bass and percussion, which we’ll always know is organic coming from Josh Dun. The song itself is a somewhat vague motivational track but not for no reason, as these lyrics actually originated from when Tyler Joseph was giving advice to his brother, a budding musician, trying to get him to see himself in a new light and find his unique purpose in music and not to “shy away” from continuing with his dreams. I can get behind that, especially if it’s going to have squealing guitar segues, an infectious power-pop chorus that will probably not leave my head for a long time and the excellent swell of guitars in that third verse before the brief breakdown in the post-chorus with all those squibbling synth effects. It’s just a wonderfully constructed song on all accounts, even if it sacrifices some of that unique personality we usually get from Tyler for the sake of making a tighter pop-rock song.

#52 – “You Belong with Me” (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Christopher Rowe

I guess the best place to start with these re-recordings is the original song, which I’ve never liked. I’ve never seen a reason to enjoy Taylor’s entitled adolescent whining over some pretty garbage production making what may as well be organic country instrumentation sound like MIDI tracks. She doesn’t deliver a particularly good vocal performance, or at least one good enough to excuse “She wear short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers”. There isn’t enough detail to make this seem like a toxic relationship so she ends up just sounding bratty. This new version, from a matured Taylor Swift a decade later, has decided not to change any of these lyrics and it just sounds worse coming from a Taylor who clearly knows a lot better and is in a happy relationship. Okay, the instrumentation sounds a lot more organic and has more of a groove than it used to, with some more intricate production moments that are cool, but that’s really the only change that improves on an already mediocre song. Taylor’s voice has improved a lot since that original recording but so has she, and her selling these lyrics with as much conviction while in her 30s just ends up sounding sad. It only makes sense to “reclaim” these songs if you’re going to try and make them your own again, and not representative of someone I don’t think Taylor is anymore. Alas, it’s listenable, but this could have been one of the more interesting re-recordings and nothing was done with it past the better mixing and a pretty epic guitar solo, even if it does feel unwarranted by the content.

#42 – “Way Too Long” – Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack

Produced by Scribz Riley, Tré Jean-Marie, Nathan Dawe and GRADES

For someone who is solely a producer and DJ, I say that’s two or three too many credited producers, but regardless, before we get to more Taylor Swift, which we will eventually, we’ve got some leftover house track with B-list stars that starts with the words, “Hey, yo, yo, it’s Stack Rack”. With that said, I actually kind of like this song with its strings swelling more than the usual track and its bass-heavy club groove in the verses being more complex in its percussion, especially when the sound design is that interesting in the second half of the verse as all of these effects and different synth patterns occur in the back of the mix, which kind of lets me forgive how anti-climactic the drop is. It’s not really an EDM song as much as it’s a light-hearted pop track and Anne-Marie isn’t taking it as seriously as she could, especially on that vocoder-drop chorus, which makes the song a lot more fun that it should be. MoStack is who really shines on this track though, as his verse is – probably unintentionally – very funny, as he twists the meaning of the song to a phallic joke, happily engages in monogamy, particularly with every British pop-star he can think of and says “forget quality, I want quantity”. He just lists famous singers by the end of this verse that he finds attractive and is completely gone off the deep-end by the time he’s ignored by Anne-Marie’s swell of a chorus. It’s not a great song and definitely falls into the traps that most EDM does but as it is, it’s a fun track with a surprisingly hilarious and sloppy guest verse from MoStack that I was not expecting, as well as just being inoffensive across the board.

#33 – “Mercury” – Dave featuring Kamal.

Produced by Manny Manhattan and Kyle Evans

Dave released a double A-side single – or at least whatever the equivalent for that is in the streaming age – and this was the less popular track, “Mercury”, with singer Kamal. If you don’t know Dave is, he’s one of the biggest and most celebrated rappers in the UK and this is his first solo release since 2019. I’ve usually been pretty happy with Dave’s releases – hell, Psychodrama was one of my favourite albums of 2019 – but I’m not entirely sure I can endorse this lazy trap beat relying on some gentle but overbearing pianos and groovier bass knocks. Really, the beat is pretty minimal so we can focus on what Dave’s saying, right? Well, we could, but why would we want to? Sure, there’s some good wordplay weaved into here and I don’t dislike his stories about gang violence and paranoia, even if they’re delivered in the most checked-out almost condescending way possible, but I can’t get behind the misogyny that seems to run a lot deeper than it does in typical rap. Sure, he makes the same googly-eyed observations about attractive women, describes some parts of the sex but interestingly not any part he plays, and also describes her as a “work of art”, but this is all after he dismisses women in general for not “forgiving him for his sins”, in some thinly-veiled Ariana Grande reference that leaves me more pissed off than he is, especially since Dave’s not as self-aware as he thinks he is, particularly because he himself can barely forgive himself for his wrongs in that second verse. Instead, he shrouds it in hedonism like any other rapper – what have the women got to do other than make good decisions for themselves about who they sleep with? He doesn’t go into disgusting detail like Digga D on “Toxic” but it rubs me the wrong way, especially if he’s going to then complain about the myth that is cancel culture. If this comes from a genuine place where he was genuinely attacked for something he didn’t deserve the abuse for, I’d understand, but why even complain about the supposed mob of Twitter users when the only tie you have to it is something reported on your brother by the right-wing press that everyone ignored? Other than missing the point terribly, it’s not like this song is catchy or notable. Even he acknowledges that this five-minute bore wouldn’t make the album, and it’s for good reason.

#32 – “Anywhere Away from Here” – Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk

Produced by Rag’n’Bone Man, Mike Elizondo and Ben Jackson-Cook

So this is Rag’n’Bone Man’s second single from that upcoming album, or at least the second to chart, and after the surprisingly great post-punk rocker that was “All You Ever Wanted”, I’m excited to hear what a duet with P!nk could sound like. After all, they’re both rougher voices in the pop sphere, even if P!nk’s been doing it for much longer. Sadly, it’s a ballad... not to say they can’t do ballads well but this is a pretty minimal piano-lead track with some really badly mixed vocals from Rag’n’Bone Man as he channels an unintelligible Dave Grohl that’s way too loud in the mix, especially when the strings come in and cloud the mix. I do like the content once again with Rag’n’Bone Man as he continues to discuss the careless days of his youth, but this is more about growing older and eventually growing discontent with that lifestyle and each other, just wanting to be somewhere else. P!nk delivers this in a way that’s a lot more flattering to her voice and the instrumental, but when the borderline choir vocals come in with those terribly-mixed harmonies between the two and that pointless bridge, I give up on this song. It just refuses to go anywhere, I’m sorry, and it had a lot of potential but these voices don’t particularly mesh together especially over some basic piano and strings. This could have been great and as is, is less than mediocre.

#30 – “Mr. Perfectly Fine” (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault) – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff

I didn’t listen to the re-recorded version of Fearless; instead I just listened to the six or so bonus “from the vault” tracks because that’s the only new content and I’m not big on any of it. It sounds exactly as you’d expect a 31-year-old woman reciting lyrics she wrote and shelved when she was a teenager, not even thinking they were good enough to release then, decades after the fact, and most of the songs just aren’t interesting at all. I think “Bye Bye Baby” is a great pop song but besides that there’s nothing much to enjoy in these tracks, at least from me. I know that Taylor’s biggest fans will love how she re-recorded leaked and rumoured songs that had been circulating but as someone detached from that, it does nothing for me. This song in particular is about Joe Jonas, because, of course, it was, and it’s a petty, sarcastic break-up song Taylor should be able to deliver confidently but ends up falling flat based on almost that awful verse melody alone, which is just janky, unpleasant and stretched out to the point of annoyance, especially if it’s going to be produced this well. She dug up this track seemingly only to get Antonoff on the record, and, sure, the chorus is catchy and has that one great moment with those crashing guitars, but it enjoys killing its momentum as soon as it gets going... for five minutes. Yeah, I’m sorry but I’m not interested in what was left on the cutting room floor a decade separated from the release of this re-recording, especially if this fully-fleshed instrumentation does little more than distract from how dreadfully boring this song is. Wake me up when she re-records Speak Now or especially reputation, because that will truly be fascinating.

#10 – “Kiss Me More” – Doja Cat featuring SZA

Produced by tizhimself, Carter Lang, Rogét Chahayed and Yeti Beats

I’ve forgotten to mention that three of those 14 new arrivals actually debuted in the top 10 this week, meaning, yes, whilst we’re nearly done, we’ve still got a lot to cover and we start with what seems to be the lead single from Doja Cat’s upcoming album, as she enlists SZA to assist her on this classily unclassy disco-pop song. Those main guitars do sound great, especially with Doja’s signature cooing over them, and that’s before we get to that slick pink disco groove not dissimilar to “Say So” but with a tighter, fun bassline and how quickly Doja strips off the subtlety. I could do without that mess of a post-chorus that is just a blend of too many, not very great vocal takes, but I do love how it leads into Doja’s unsubtle sex bars that actually go into some interesting detail, but not as much SZA being kind of filthy but also delivering a pretty great vocal performance, even if she starts with asking her partner for that “gushy stuff”. I do find it odd that it decides to censor “dick” of all words, but this production is great and I actually particularly like that final chorus and post-chorus once SZA starts harmonising on it. As is, it’s a pretty tight and likeable disco jam from two charismatic performers... co-written by Dr. Luke. Goddamn it, Doja, I don’t know what contract he’s got you in but Jesus, someone do something about that.

#9 – “Titanium” – Dave

Produced by Kyle Evans and P2J

This is our second Dave song and obviously the more successful of the two, at about three minutes shorter – thankfully – debuting in the top 10. It’s much better than “Mercury”, even if the song literally starts with him bragging about not needing vibrators to make his girlfriend orgasm. That said, the lyrics here are actually a lot slicker, flowing much like he did on “Streatham” as he lists so many precious metals you’d think he’s Bender. I do like the intricacies in these lyrics, even if he doesn’t really adapt it into any wordplay. He mentions how awkward that it is that his neighbours are going to vote Conservative as he brags in an almost freestyle-like structure in the single verse he spits, which has a couple flow switches and a lot more empty space than it should for a beat this awkwardly mixed, as whilst I like the trap percussion here, it really does not sound that great over borderline MIDI pianos. The little string inflections and drum fills here are cool though, and those intricacies are what makes Dave’s verse so interesting, as he foreshadows his bar about Tyson Fury with an ad-lib that Fury used himself as a build-up for his boxing matches. His JAY-Z references are also on point and pretty clever, it’s just that there’s still not much to this past that and I’m left pretty underwhelmed with these releases from Dave, even if they’re not from that next album, whenever that’s coming.

#3 – “RAPSTAR” – Polo G

Produced by Einer Bankz and Synco

Well, Lil Tjay debuted at #2 a couple weeks ago so I guess it’s only fair for his fellow “Pop Out” rapper, and the one I personally immensely prefer, Polo G to have his surprise, kind-of-out-of-nowhere top 5 debut. Much like “MONTERO”, this track was being teased for nearly a year, having first been shown as an acoustic collaboration with professional ukulele player – yes, seriously – Einer Bankz, who’s also credited with production here, in May of 2020. Just shy of a year afterwards, we get “RAPSTAR”, in the same vein of other all-caps trap songs about musical success like “ROCKSTAR” or “POPSTAR”. Maybe next we’ll get “NEOCLASSICAL DARK WAVESTAR”. Regardless, this song is basically just about being epic and Polo G can effectively sell that even in his more basic flexing because of that intermittent detail like when he says the only woman he talks to is Siri, which isn’t even a brag or a flex, more a sad admission of his crippling loneliness which I don’t think was intended. He also does more than empty flexing, discussing his past drug addictions and how he coped with that alongside all of the struggles he had to overcome at the same time. That second verse may start with him saying he’s 2Pac reborn but it goes a lot deeper into his anxieties than I expected. All of this is over a melancholy guitar-based beat with some great bass and better mixing than is expected of these pop-trap singles, even if it’s still far from perfect. Those eerie vocal loops in the background add a lot to this song and I think that chorus has a pretty great build-up, even if the percussion may seem a bit too basic and uncomplicated as an effective drop. I can’t really complain about this at all, though, as it is really good for what it is and I’m glad it’s this high.

Conclusion

And with that, I’m finally, FINALLY finished with scouring through these new arrivals and I’ll admit that it was less of a mixed bag and more of a generally positive week, at least for me, as I found more I liked than anything I disliked, particularly with Best of the Week as that goes to twenty one pilots for “Shy Away”, with the Honourable Mention going to Ashnikko’s “Slumber Party” featuring Princess Nokia, although there’s a lot to praise on the charts this week. In terms of Worst of the Week, it’s probably going to go to Fred again.. and The Blessed Madonna for “Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing)”, with a Dishonourable Mention for, sadly, Dave’s “Mercury” featuring Kamal. I would like to note that Taylor Swift was awfully closer than she should be to getting that this week. Here’s this week’s top 10:

What to expect from this week? Gosh, I don’t know. AJ Tracey? Young Thug? Either way, we’ll see whatever happens to all this – whether it gets flooded out or they all end up sticking around – next week, so I’ll see you then. Thanks for reading.

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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[created by: vyvyan86]

If someone's laughing, do you instantly think they're laughing at you? I mean, not automatically? People can be laughing for many reasons. But if they’re laughing near me and if I even catch them looking at me from time to time, then it can definitely make me feel paranoid.

What is the strangest thing you've been asked? I’ve said this before, but a masseuse who came to the house a couple of years ago once looked at me intently and asked if I’ve gotten pregnant before. When I asked my mom about her, she explained that that particular masseuse has a third eye. Of course I didn’t buy it, but it was a fascinating scenario nonetheless and I still liked the fact that out of everyone in the family, she had only ~sensed something with me.

What’s the weirdest thing about life that people just accept as normal? Homelessness.

What was your favorite game as a child? I liked playing Diner Dash, Insaniquarium, and Cake Mania on my dad’s laptop. Our parents didn’t keep a strict eye on us as well and we were allowed access to Grand Theft Auto games at a young age, which ended up being one of my all-time favorite video game series.

What’s the stupidest thing you've ever heard? There’s a lot of crazy fake news that have come out over the last few years; I can’t really tell which one is stupidest, but they all are to some extent.

What's the most random thing you've done out of boredom? Make spreadsheets about stuff I will never have to refer to. It’s a great way to be distracted/occupied, so I don’t shy away from starting one whenever I feel the need to.

What show did your parents not let you watch as a kid? Mr. Bean. My mom didn’t like the character’s antics and she especially hated how he technically doesn’t talk, since she felt like it would have an effect on how we learned language (we mainly learned English from the TV) and the way we speak.

What is your personal catchphrase? I say, “Awesome!” when I’m pleased with something, which is a habit I picked up from Gabie. I also tend to say “For real?” whenever I’m surprised.

What is the most pleasurable feeling that doesn't involve anything sexual? I like being given lazy scratches on my wrist or leg. It’s also nice when someone plays with my hair, but it depends on who’s doing it; sometimes I’ll find it too invasive.

What was your 'Oops, wrong person' moment? This doesn’t happen a lot to me, fortunately. For the most part, it’s only been instances from childhood when I mistakenly held on to a stranger’s hand instead of either of my parents’.

What do you find attractive that isn't considered 'normal' attraction? I’m not particularly attracted to muscles or fit bodies in general; a little bit of flab or what the internet calls ~dad bod~ has always been more than alright with me.

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done drunk? Nearly fall asleep in a swimming pool, or go on a loud rant about someone while that someone was still within earshot.

What's your proudest moment in the bathroom? I have no idea what this means, and I don’t want to ask.

What’s something you own that gets you lots of compliments? Some clothes/shoes I have. Also, my car back when I placed reindeer antlers and a red nose on it a few Christmases ago haha.

If money was no object, where would you want to live? If that was the case, I’d be in New York City right now.

Who is your favorite mythological character? I never took a liking to mythology and the creatures associated with it.

What's something that's happened which couldn't happen at a worse time? My breakup. We were also recently informed that my mom has been retrenched sooooooo life isn’t particularly dandy at the moment. I’ve stopped complaining about my heavy daily workload and have instead felt grateful for it, because at least it keeps me occupied enough and not think about the stuff happening at home.

What is the best pickup line you've ever heard? I don’t like pickup lines.

What did aging ruin for you? My back and my eyesight.

What is the most hilarious thing you’ve ever heard? Ugh, questions like these are impossible to answer. Off the top of my head, I’ll go with this video.

What is the darkest thing you have seen on the internet? Crime scene photos, beheading videos, and corpses. There have also been other stuff but they’d be too triggering if I tried to describe what they are.

What's something you really enjoy, but can't have? I can’t have milkshakes unless I’m fine with the stomachaches I will inevitably get after.

What Wikipedia article have you recently read? So I watched Royal Rumble yesterday (I haven’t kept up with wrestling in years, but I always come back for the big pay-per-views) and there’s this female wrestlerI think I’ll soon develop a full-blown crush on. I wanted to look her up and I learned that she’s Rhea Ripley, so I briefly read up on her life and career.

What's a book you were made to read in school that you really liked? Without Seeing the Dawn will always be my favorite. Taking it up in English class was never a chore for me. Number the Stars was a great read too, as was Dekada ‘70.

What objective did you fail to complete this week? I haven’t worked out at all this week, which I should’ve been able to do twice already according to the workout plan I’m currently subscribed to. But it’s fine, I’ll just try to catch up.

What could have gotten worse for you but it didn't? Work. I kept making a million mistakes during my first two months and thought I’d never get the hang of it, and I was just waiting to get fired immediately lol. But everything’s going smoothly now - I’m not as lost as I used to be, and I’ve even taken to tutoring some of the newer hires.

What subject should be taught at schools, but isn't? I’d have appreciated it if we had been taught or at least briefed on how to obtain crucial government IDs and documents. I didn’t exactly enjoy walking through everything by myself and being expected to know what to do.

What is the best thing about having a Significant Other? Oh my god, everything. I loved and treasured being in a relationship. I appreciated even the arguments because it made me get better at communicating, know how and when to apologize, and how to be more in tune with another person’s feelings. But my favorite part about it would probably be having a person to share everything about yourself and your life to. I’ve learned to be okay being by myself, but I feel the loneliness the hardest when I’m going through a rough patch and remembering that I no longer having someone to turn to.

What makes you unusually uncomfortable? Injections, blood tests, anaesthesia, anything that’s meant to prick my skin.

What is an upcoming purchase you're excited about? I don’t plan on making any purchases soon. Maybe a couple boxes of macarons with 25 pieces each for my birthday to treat myself?? but that’s the only one I’ve been planning.

What is the worst game you've ever played? When I was still taking PE, I dreaded it every time we had to play basketball or water polo.

What’s the oddest thing you like to do? I really like doing tedious tasks, like inputting things into a spreadsheet or writing out lists. I think I’d be a great secretary. < Yeah same. Literally what I said earlier about the spreadsheets.

What's the funniest news story you've seen in the past few weeks? Some fixers at the LTO who approached the mayor of a nearby city to convince him that they can fast-track whatever business he’s in for there, not knowing he’s the fucking mayor. What a mess lmfao.

What do you really really want right now? For things to go back to normal. My parents are very secretive about finances - probably because they don’t want us to worry - but I hate not knowing if I could even turn on the fan or any of our lights anymore. I also hate that I feel guilty whenever I buy things for myself knowing that both my parents are in sticky situations.

What do you hide from people? Things going on in my personal life. I will refer to my problems in social media posts occasionally, but would never provide enough context for people to know more about my life than I’m comfortable with.

What was the first sign you knew you had a crush on someone? I got increasingly nervous around them and I just wanted to be with them all day and listen to their stories and buy them food and stuff. Also, I knew when I started crying over them. Hahahaha man this just made me feel so nostalgic. I miss that feeling of first falling in love with someone.

What's the best lemonade you've made from the lemons life gave you? The self-love, self-acceptance, and self-validation I gained after my breakup felt and continues to feel wonderful. I never realized how much of myself I sacrificed and gave away. I will never do that again and will always make sure to leave more than enough room for myself in the future.

Who was your cartoon crush while growing up? Sam from Totally Spies and Shego from Kim Possible.

What's the best way to deal with religious door knockers? We don’t have those here. But I imagine just telling them “No thanks” and closing my door.

What’s the most hypocritical thing you’ve ever seen or heard? My mom is a big hypocrite in general; she exhibits some behaviors that she would typically chew me out for. But she would never admit to that; that, or she wouldl use mental gymnastics to convince me that the way I’m doing the thing is wrong and that her version is the acceptable one.

Who’s the most interesting person you’ve ever met? Probably one of the artists at Pinto Museum. Every time I’ve gone there, he’s always standing at the first gallery - he looks like your typical visitor, but I’ve come to realize he actually scans the museum looking for people who are genuinely into the artworks and not just there to shoot photos. I know, because he has always ended up approaching me and whoever I’m with at the time so that he can explain every single painting. He’s done the same thing with me - I think he keeps forgetting me, but it’s fine - 2-3 times, with the same spiels and same interesting explanations and anecdotes. In the end he always reveals that he painted a number of the works in the museum and for his sake I will always try to act surprised, haha. Anyway, he’s brilliant and very talented, and always has great stories to tell.

What just doesn't impress you? Certain movies that are meant to be hailed as one of the greats.

What’s the worst possible way to introduce yourself? By being an ass from the get-go, I suppose.

What makes you wish that you were born in the past or the future? I hate missing out on things when I’m already around, which is why I often wish I could live long enough to see what advancs and developments we could be capable of reaching in the future. Would we find a cure for cancer? Will I get to see my country get richer and more developed like it has always deserved to? Will travel to outer space be a thing? It’s stuff like that I’d love to see happen and the idea of potentially missing out on them because maybe they’re not meant to happen in my lifetime kinda bums me out.

What tragic event was coincidentally beneficial to you? I started loving the shit out of myself from my breakup. I thought I was already comfortable with who I was and where I was in life, but I soon learned that I could be doing so much more for myself, self-esteem-wise.

What's something people are proud of, but it doesn't impress you? Wealth, usually, especially if it’s generational. < True. Also, fucking watches? I’ll never understand the need for watches that cost a million pesos when I could easily stomp on them lmao.

What's the worst possible moment to go and play on a bouncy castle? Doing it with an upset stomach.

Who is the greatest ever comedian? I don’t know about greatest. I certainly don’t watch enough comedians to make such a choice.

What’s your irrational fear? Sometimes I’ll get an irrational urge to do something stupid and/or dangerous. For instance I was in Tagaytay last weekend, on the 20th floor of a condo and to my surprise, the windows could be opened and they didn’t have any bars either. As I opened a window I thought about jumping and it freaked me out, so much so I immediately closed it and never went back to it. I believe there’s a word for this phenomenon in a foreign language; I just can’t remember what it is now.

What's your oldest memory? Waking up inside a Winnie the Pooh tent with my sister when I was 3, she 1. My parents let us go ‘camping,’ even though the tent was simply set up on the floor of our bedroom.

What can you not wake up without? Greeting my dogs.

What did you think was cool when you were younger that you now think isn’t? Side bangs.

What are your favorite or most memorable lines from any movie/show? “I would ask you to consider your response in light of the respect that my rank and office deserve, not that which my age and gender might suggest.” from The Crown. Holy shit that line was so good. I’ll need to rewatch this showagain.

What's something people love to hate? Mainstream culture. < Very true.

What’s something that is underrated but extremely useful? Car adaptors have saved my ass so many times while driving long distances and needing to constantly use data to have access to Waze.

#survey #surveys #rly great questions too

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deepfriedtwinkie · 6 years

Text

Kingsman: A Trainee’s Mission (Pt. IV)

PREQUEL FIC, this section ~2kw

pt. I | pt. II | pt. III

“Here.”

Harry slides a plastic tray in front of Hamish, who looks up, startled, from the disassembled wristwatch in his hands.

“What’s all this?”

It’s a curry, a hunk of bread, and a clementine, but they both have eyes, so that’s probably not the answer he’s looking for. Harry slides into the seat opposite, setting down his own tray. Its contents are the same, except his clementine is a lemon Danish. He’s not the one who needs to improve his eating habits.

“I thought perhaps you could use a proper meal,” he explains, unfolding a cloth napkin to tuck across his lap. “We’ve been here a half a month already, and I don’t believe I’ve seen you take anything besides crisps and Tab.”

There’s a shade of something in Hamish’s expression that looks to be on the verge of protest. Harry waits, watching until it passes, only satisfied by his friend’s nod of concession, several moments later.

“S’pose you’re right. Thank you. That’s very kind.”

A smile flares on. “Don’t mention it.” The curry smells wonderful, and he tucks in while it’s hot.

They’re alone in their corner of the mess hall, which bears quite a bit more resemblance to the ones at university than those provided for any branch of military intelligence. He should know. About the first part, at least. His years at Oxford were, up to now, the most rewarding of his life, not the least because he never lacked for a hot meal involving sturdy greens and a port wine gravy. The latter he misses now especially, although Kingsman has far better dinner rolls, so he supposes it works out to a draw.

In a fortnight’s time, the remaining candidates—down to eleven now—have settled into cliques, as it were. Prat Winston has taken to holding court at the front table, with Graham, Chauncey, William, Edgar, and Derrington gravitating to him like gnats to a ten-watt light bulb. The other three lads, whom he’s learnt are called Courtney, Philip, and Kenneth, tend to huddle to themselves in the dimly-lit corner near the chafing dishes, whispering back and forth as if they’re going to be caught and beaten, which is a tad dramatic. Of all his options, he’s glad to have settled here, content with the company of no more than his bunkmate.

About whom he still knows very little, come to think of it.

He waits with extraordinary patience until Hamish has taken at least five bites of food. Then the rest be damned, because curiosity really does kill people, you know.

“I thought we might have a chat, you and I,” he says brightly. “Clearly the both of us are in this for the long haul. I feel as if I hardly know a thing about you.”

“You know my name,” Hamish reminds him. “That’s the highlight, I can promise you.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t believe that for a moment. You’re here, aren’t you?”

His chin juts toward Sir Winston the Odious. “So’re those pricks. Doesn’t mean there’s anything interesting about them.”

“Them, no.” He’s not going to give up that easily. Harry leans just slightly forward, forearms pressed illicitly on the table. None of the agents are in here anyway. They eat in the conference rooms, like respectable adults with people to kill. “But I have a very different feeling about you.”

Hamish’s expression changes. He pauses in his eating, lowering his spoon, hovering his face above the bowl. He sniffs. Then he takes up the bowl in both hands, holding it toward Harry.

“What?”

“Does that smell funny to you?”

Cautious, concerned, Harry inhales. Maybe this is meant to be another trial. Except there’s nothing. Nothing acrid. No bitter almonds. Cumin, but that’s nothing outside the ordinary. “I don’t smell a thing.”

“You don’t?” Hamish sets the bowl back down, and that’s when the mystique dissolves, replaced by deadpan. “Smells like bribe to me.”

You shit.

“I’m only trying to get to know you.”

For what it’s worth, he’s got Hamish engaged in the conversation now, whether or not it yields anything. Bemusement has the lad now, and he folds his arms on the ledge of table between himself and his supper tray.

“D’you know what I find interesting?” He points at Harry. “That you’re the one always after answers about me, yet I can’t help but notice that other than university, you’ve never volunteered so much as piss about yourself. When I’m sure I could just as easily be the one asking the questions.”

“Could you?” It’s not a challenge. He genuinely doesn’t know why.

Clearly Hamish does. “Oh yes. There’s plenty. Like how the fuck you knew about Kingsman before you were recruited.”

Oh.

Oh, damn.

“Mmhm.” He’s barely paused at all, and taken great pains not to react facially, and yet for Hamish, somehow, it’s enough. The smug thing’s got on a ‘checkmate’ look now. “That’s what I thought.”

Well, fuck it, then. “How do you know I knew anything before coming here?”

“Oh, you mean for starters?”

“Yes, I’d appreciate that.”

Hamish ticks off each point on his fingers. “You’ve never asked a single question of Arthur in regards to what’s expected, almost as if you’re familiar with how all this shit goes. You seem to know precisely what to do in any given situation, despite the fact you’ve spent the last four years in a posh boys’ dormitory watching other idiots wank and do cocaine off their midterms.”

“Well I hardly did that.”

“And d’you know what I’ve heard you mutter to yourself when you thought nobody was listening? ‘Make Mother proud.’ Now how the fuck could she be proud of what you’re doing unless both of you knew what it was?”

It’s rather uncomfortable, being read like this. Outside his childhood home, this may be the very first time it’s ever happened. He fidgets unconsciously in his seat for a moment. Were he a pettier person, this might knock a point of two off his new friend’s appeal, to be honest.

“I could have meant it figuratively,” he finally comes up with.

“You could, aye. But you didn’t.”

God damn it.

Harry sighs. “All right.”

Furtively, he glances each way, hunching closer across the tabletop. Just because he’s not remotely ashamed of his advantages doesn’t mean he wants the resident cavemen accusing him of unearned nepotism. It’d be terrible form to have to beat his competition unconscious. He looks Hamish in the eye.

“You won’t repeat a thing you hear?”

“My name’s on the body bag, isn’t it?”

It’s not the most reassuring answer on earth, but Harry doesn’t plan to give him the soup-to-nuts version, anyway. No one gets that. Not for a thing. He gets the abridgement, at least for the time being. If that’s not enough, he can kiss his ass.

“Fine. If you want the truth, I’ve wanted to become a Kingsman since I was ten years old. My mother was in intelligence.” Still is, but the past tense is an insulating feature of this version, the same as lack of detail. “A Kingsman agent once assisted her organization on a case; I happened to be shadowing her at her offices the day they met.”

“Were you, now?” It’s slightly insulting that Hamish is incredulous. And just the right blend of amused and unfazed to be irritating as hell. “You’re telling me even high-stakes intelligence has a Take Your Kid to Work Day?”

“No. It was only me. Mother was high-ranking enough that it was allowed, on the grounds that everyone knew she wouldn’t raise a moron. I was expected, by most, to join that organization someday. Secrecy was a normal everyday part of my upbringing. No one ever questioned telling me anything. It was a means of priming me.”

“And that’s how you met a Kingsman agent. Who just conveniently proposed you for the job nearly eleven years later, after openly admitting to a ten-year-old who he was.”

“Only by codename, obviously, and I was a special case; Mother was an internationally-respected VIP agent of one of the most vital—look, you’re the one who wanted to know, aren’t you? And now you don’t believe me?”

Chuckling, Hamish tucks back into his curry. “Nah. I believe you. You just make it so goddamned easy to fuck with you.”

I have no fucking idea why I ever liked you, you tacky, obnoxious, sentient little thistle. To hell with patience. Turnabout is fair play, and he’s going to have it now.

“And what about you?” Harry demands. “At least I had a reason to be secretive. How is it that you manage to evade your own story to make a guess at mine instead?”

Setting down his spoon, Hamish levels with him. He blinks. That’s not what he expected either.

“Because it takes one to know one,” Hamish says. “I knew about Kingsman before I was recruited too.” Then he lifts the wristwatch he’d been fooling with, turning it over to reveal its Kingsman emblem. “There’s a bug in this model. I know because I helped develop it. That’s what I was working on. I’ve been attempting to pin down the problem.”

It’s Harry’s turn to be incredulous. And he is. Very. The scoff practically bursts out of his mouth. “Please. You can’t even be eighteen.”

“I’m seventeen. I’ll be eighteen before the training’s over. That’s old enough.”

“How can you be sure of that?”

“That’s the minimum. I checked when I asked for consideration. And you’re not exactly collecting Social Security at twenty. Frankly I’d expect someone who got into Oxford at sixteen would understand a bit better.”

“Frankly I don’t know how you expect Arthur to allow an eighteen-year-old to play handler to the most elite agents in the world.”

“I don’t, not independently, at first. We’ve spoken already. If I win, he’ll shadow me for a year or so, observe, sign off on all my work until he’s confident. But it’s like you said. I’m here for a reason. I graduated secondary at fourteen with high honors in computers and mathematics. I turned down six international scholarships when I was offered the chance to be an intern in Kingsman’s tech department in Edinburgh. I signed my first body bag a long time ago.”

Absolutely none of that was anywhere on the list of what Harry expected. Several moments pass where he can’t think of anything to say. What finally comes out is, “I didn’t know there was a tech department in Edinburgh.”

“Aye.” Hamish picks up his bread. “They’re moving it to Berlin, though. So I hear. That’s me shit out of luck if I don’t get the job, I s’pose.”

They go back to eating. At least Hamish does. Harry stares. For a solid minute, if not two.

“You’ll get the job,” he says at last, quietly. “I…I never imagined…” He starts over. “Well. You must be fairly brilliant. I suppose I owe you an apology.”

Hamish nods. “S’alright.”

“Thank you.”

Spearing a piece of meat on his fork, Hamish blots off the sauce on his napkin, holding it under the table for Ainsley. It reminds Harry to do the same. Hamish shakes his head. “I can’t believe you fucking called him Mr. Pickle.”

He smiles as the rough little tongue laps his fingers. “Oh, I think he likes it all right.”

“The look on Tristan’s face was worth it, though.”

“Oh, yes.”

They do it again. “So, your mother, huh? The family business? No wonder you’re not concerned with competition.”

Harry nods. “It’s only a matter of who gets the job along with me; I must admit I’ve been hoping it’s you. You’re a good conversationalist.”

“I barely speak to anyone,” Hamish points out.

“Yes, well. I’m grading on potential.”

pt. V | pt. VI | pt. VII | pt. VIII | pt. IX

#Kingsman #Harry Hart #Agent Merlin #Kingsman: The Secret Service #Kingsman: The Golden Circle #fanfic #oh look Aud did a thing

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whifferdills · 7 years

Note

As promised~ (1/3) A prompt that I think you'd do wonderfully at, if you're up for it: 12/delgado!master, some h/c in the form of talking things out + maybe cuddling, takes place before 12 meets Missy. The two accidentally bump into each other on neutral ground (like a bar, y'know, but it doesn't have to be a bar? A place where 12 isn't being righteous and the master isn't being evil, they've both just come to this place bc they want to and the other just happens to be there).

(2/3) 12 is like oh shit the timelines, the master can tell this doctor is far older than him. As he has not met missy yet, 12’s most recent memories of the master are of simm, who is far more unstable and violent. 12 is jumpy around this version of the master even though it hasn’t happened for him yet. Delgado can tell something is off, asks him about it- even though they’ve had their spats, the doctor has never been this nervous around him. Aforementioned talking things out and h/c ensues-

(3/3) -perhaps somewhere quieter (TARDIS?). Basically I just need delgado being steady and sure and relatively gentle (compared to the violence of simm) with a skittish and nervous 12 who honestly just wants to hide- but delgado won’t let him until they’ve talked things out since this is so uncharacteristic for the doctor. (12 tries to make timeline excuses but delgado just points out that he’ll forget). Bonus points for cuddling, the master being a rock that keeps anxious!12 grounded?

i feel like i can do a better job of this but this is what i wrote so

“To Here Knows When”Delgado!Master/12Gennish with some implications, ~2.5k words

Oh, look: there he is again. He’s absolutely everywhere, a sloppy mess strewn across the universe. Leaving a trail of shit and/or smarmy egotistical do-gooder nonsense in his wake. The Doctor.

The Master realizes he’s said that last bit out loud when the barkeep looks at him strangely. “Move along, nothing to see here,” he says, putting some oomph into it. The barkeep moves on.

Not any face he’s met yet, or at least he thinks so - timelines, paradoxes, it’s all a bit of a jumble on the best of days. But he is fairly certain that this one is new. To him, to the world at large. All raw post-regeneration energy, lived with a bit but not fully dissipated. The uncertainty with how he operates his own skin and bones. And a face as striking as that, the Master would like to think he’d remember seeing it before.

His glass is empty but the barkeep is doing a thorough job of following his suggestion. He picks it up, savors the last few drops, staring through to this new Doctor. Alone, apparently. Nursing a half-full glass of something brown. The timeline is creaking around them. This is wrong, the two of them here. It’d be wronger still for them to actually meet.

Thankfully, neither of them have ever had much time for rules. The Master takes advantage of the barkeep’s resolute, studied avoidance to duck behind the counter and grab a bottle of something very old and very expensive, and makes his way over to the Doctor.

The music and the crowd growing louder, too loud, and it doesn’t matter. Might as well be silent, here, now, between the two of them. The world dropping out, just as it always has, despite his best efforts.

You, the Doctor says. Mentally but clear enough it could have been spoken aloud.

And you. The Master is slightly disappointed: the Doctor’s traditional obliviousness to the Master’s presence when under the thinnest of disguises has always been a great source of joy. No disguise now, though. However: a great deal of time.

Far, far too much time. The wrong kinds of time. There’s a Gordian knot of tragedy, atrocity, violence, and so, so much time sitting at the center of the Doctor. The Master feels unusually young and untarnished, comparatively speaking - he does not, of course, let on.

He fills up his glass and tops off the Doctor’s. “I haven’t seen you in centuries. Still insufferable, I trust?”

“Last time I saw you, you were committing suicide by Chancellery Guard.” The Doctor’s tone is flat, brusque. He’s staring straight ahead, at the wall of bottles glinting bright in the spot lighting.

“I imagine I had a plan,” the Master says.

Think you just wanted to die, which was better than you deserved, the Doctor bleeds out, seemingly unwillingly. “Always do,” he says out loud. “So what brings you to town? Genocide? Apocalypse? Another cunning plan?”

“There’s an interesting paleontology exhibit involving what are probably vortisaurs at the local otherwise-worthless backwater-town museum; I had some spare time. I’m specifically here in this bar because I wanted a drink and it had good Yelp reviews. Yourself?”

The Doctor curls in on himself, simultaneously ready to withstand a fight and itching for flight. Knuckles gone white wrapped around the glass. “Avoiding responsibilities. Hiding. Trying to get drunk.” He takes a deep drink of the scotch - such a waste, such things are to be savored - and slams the glass back down on the counter. “S'not working.”

He’s got the expression, the body language, the mental presence like he’s in the company of a ghost, and like he’s not even bothering to process that completely, and like he’s daring and/or begging the Master to do something, anything. Jittery, cocky, half-flung into whatever void. It’s half-familiar and half completely and unsettlingly foreign.

The Master swirls his glass, watching the light play off the liquid. “Something happened,” he assumes. The timeline, again. Some questions should not be asked.

“You could say that.” For all he declared his sobriety, the words are slurred, and when the Master glances over his eyes are unfocused, watery.

Pushing his half-full glass towards the barkeep (still dutifully ignoring him) and screwing the cap back onto the bottle (and then squirreling it away into his deceptively voluminous coat pocket), he stands up, claps the Doctor firmly on the back. “Good to see you again, my dear, but I must be off. Til next time?”

Come with me, he thinks. Putting some English on it, turning it up loud enough for even the weakest telepath to hear.

“Yeah. Til the next time.” The Doctor’s still staring directly at whatever imagined middle-distance. Maybe his eyes flicker over, just for a split-second. Maybe.

The Master leaves, carving a path straight through the crowd. He waits for a while, outside the door, the fresh air hitting him harder than he would have expected or liked; waits just long enough to be sure the Doctor is following him.

He could kill the Doctor. Loose and elsewhere as he is, it wouldn’t take much. It never does happen, though. The Master makes a mistake, the Doctor has a stroke of good luck. Or vice versa. One way or another, neither of them ever wins. Or loses. Neither of them ever dies.

The Doctor stumbles along behind him. Does he know he’s this much? This violent spill-out, harsh and brash, all live-wire energy? Probably not, self-awareness was never his strong suit.

“Let me guess. You’ve infiltrated the local…fish people, and you’re using them as leverage to stage a coup on the palace, which will enable you to be Queen of Hell for all eternity.”

“Like I said. The natural history museum here has a fantastic exhibit of vortisaur skeletons.”

They reach the front door of the house the Master may or may not have killed one or more people to acquire, and may or may not be now technically squatting in. He pulls out his keys, the metal jingling. The Doctor stares at him, unfathomable, endless and slightly pathetic and brutally focused.

“Didn’t know you were capable of existing in anything other than a castle or a crypt,” the Doctor says, looking at the Master like he can see completely through him, and like he’s managing to not see anything at all.

“Needs must,” the Master says, opening the door to the modest terraced home, sliding the keys back into his pocket, alongside the stolen scotch, and closing the door behind them.

Once inside, the Doctor seems entirely more sober. Nervous, wary, nosy. Opening drawers and pawing through bookcases. Leaving things knocked off on the ground, like an especially petulant cat.

The Master goes to put the kettle on for tea. It’s only polite, after all. He leaves the scotch in his pocket for a rainy day. They’re both drunk enough, wouldn’t do to go overboard here.

“I’m more for coffee, these days,” the Doctor calls out. There’s a muffled thump, and then a muffled curse, and a brief burst of activity. “Extra-sweet.”

“I don’t have any coffee, I’m afraid.” He considers pulling out his best biscuits - this Doctor is whipcord-lean but he’s always had a sweet tooth, they would undoubtedly be appreciated - but it seems a bit too much. Too homey. A normal thing for normal people. And besides, he’s run low, and what’s left he’d rather keep for himself. He closes the cupboard door, saving the Hobnobs for the future.

There’s another round of crash-noises and invectives and the Doctor appears in the doorway to the kitchen, hair on end, breathless. “You gonna kill me?” he asks. The question seems to be genuine.

He considers. Maybe. Possibly. Right now? No. “Potentially,” he says, pouring the boiling water into two mismatched mugs. The Doctor nods, distracted, watching the steam rise.

They’re drinking tea, normal as you like. The Master with a pleasingly angular, modernist sort of contraption, black with lemon; the Doctor with a Sports Direct mug filled alarmingly close to the brim with milk and sugar. It’s an absurd situation. The timeline is straining around them; if he does want to or plans on killing the Doctor, it won’t work out. It never does.

And besides, the Doctor feels as much like luck and ashes as he ever has. More so, too much so. Clinging to life out of spite and a clumsy, unacknowledged self-assurance; unkillable, unknowable. The bastard’s been hanging on by the skin of his teeth and the confidence of an old-blood Time Lord for as long as the Master can remember. That contradiction of a Lungbarrow orphan, both privileged and left for dead. And now: like that’s happened over and over and over again.

Plus, apparently, a whole entire war (or two) and then some other hinted-at things; the Master does not ask for, as the Doctor would call them, ‘spoilers’. The Doctor is babbling, as is expected; insults, braggadocio, stream-of-consciousness asides. It’s almost charming. The Master is, despite himself, nearly charmed.

In a moment which may be described as weakness, the Master reaches out, puts his hand on the Doctor’s wrist, when he’s looking especially broken and like he doesn’t realize that oh, and the last time I died is not anything meant to be said in a normal, casual tone of voice - he puts his hand on the skin exposed when the Doctor’s cuffs ride up on a dramatic gesture at the tail-end of an especially excited sentence.

Mistake. A misjudgment. The Master internally rolls his eyes as the Doctor slaps his hand away.

“Don’t,” he snaps. Voice hoarse, more high-pitched than it’s been these past few hours. Stands up, takes two steps back, vibrating like he’s trying to shake right out of his skin. A look in his eyes like part of him is somewhere else entirely.

The Master holds his hands by his shoulders, palms open, placating. No threat here, see? “That’s changed as well, then?” He does not betray the mix of insult, disappointment, a certain undefinable sense of loss-to-come.

“I beg your pardon?” The anxiety and distance drift closer to a more familiar absent-mindedness. Familiar in a slightly wrong way, though, as if he’s flipping through a list of all the people he’s been and trying to decide which one he’s meant to be now.

“You used to like it when I touched you.”

The Doctor huffs a breath roughly through his nose: a laugh, nearly. “Yeah. That. Ah, d'you remember, when we were kids?”

Most of it, yes. The Master waits patiently, mentally sorting through and cataloguing how the familiarity has slipped into something more particular. Cadence, accent, the way the Doctor is holding himself now.

“They said I had a natural aptitude, for the.” He gestures at his head. “Psychic stuff. And then they said I had no discipline, couldn’t control it, and they were right. Think I made it to one of the workshops. Out of fifteen. Passed on the second go, though, got there eventually. But it’s like that, now. Again. Touch a damn rock, I can feel it, all of it. Touch anything sentient - well. And you…”

Poor thing, that’s an unprecedented amount of sharing in general and it appears to be especially overmuch for this one. Must’ve taken it out of him, the dear. The Master tries to not overtly, pruriently enjoy the raw, raspy, cracked desperation in the Doctor’s voice.

(And there’s more there, more than just that admission. The way the Doctor is looking at him, scared, judgmental; something will happen there. He chooses not to push. What will come, will come. No sense getting tangled up in the will-be’s.)

“I could put my gloves on,” the Master says. And maybe he can enjoy it, just a bit. “You used to like it when I wore gloves.”

The Doctor laughs again, a touch more genuine this time. “I did, yeah.”

“We had fun, didn’t we,” the Master says, chuckling with only the barest, most delicate amount of Evil Charm. He stretches out, hands settling down by his sides: on the edge of his perception, the softest of mental brushes, he can feel the Doctor blaring out indiscriminately on all channels. The confused dread, the self-loathing, the bit-down-on panic; a snapshot of the Master’s gloved hand closing around his throat, around the cock he’d apparently bumbled into giving himself, pale and reedy as the rest of him (the Doctor had never been any good at the very basic task of choosing a goal during regeneration, but he’d previously chanced once or thrice on a version of the far superior interior genitalia; not this time, apparently).

In this moment of tender vulnerability, the Master politely only spends approximately 15% of his attention on what’s between the Doctor’s legs. He isn’t an animal. And he can sense that the blatant eroticism is, if not exactly forced, then something born more out of nostalgia - out of familiarity - than anything the Doctor truly wants.

So.

The Master withdraws as he moves his physical body closer. The Doctor flinches, but stands his ground, a predictable ‘go on I dare you’ expression on his face. The Master retrieves his gloves from his coat pocket - the Doctor flinches again, and speaking of nostalgia: that skittish fuck-off/fuck you/fuck me/fuck this wildness is erasing the outlines of this Doctor and leaving a small, defiant Thete in their wake.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” the Master says.

The Doctor exhales. Disappointed? Relieved? Something else entirely? “Didn’t say you would.”

“But I would like - ” The Master breathes in carefully, leaning only just against the spiky edge of what the Doctor is. “Forgive me. I’ve become sentimental in my relative old age. And I’ve missed you.” He says it like he means it, and potentially he does mean it, but there’s enough camp and irony there for it to not mean anything at all. “May I hold your hand?”

The Doctor stares at him, eyes wide, brows furrowed. The tea’s going cold, the Master is losing his patience.

“When you knew me,” the Doctor starts. Very carefully, enunciating clearly in that accent he has now. “Was I a good man?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” the Master says. Fantastic, more ego-stroking.

“Because I’m not entirely sure, now. Of either of those.” The Doctor is still staring, and he’s so open and vulnerable and, in the cheap lighting of this cheap house, impossibly beautiful, and he’s, what, looking for the Master’s approval?

He tries not to appreciate that too much. Closes a firm mental fist around whatever it is that’s building up inside him. In the both of them. “You are eternally, obnoxiously ‘good’.”

This is maybe the right answer. The Doctor doesn’t quite relax, but when the Master extends their hand in the human fashion, the Doctor takes it, and then lets himself be pulled forward. The Master’s arm around him, the Doctor leans against his chest, head tucked under his chin, nuzzling against the fabric of his coat.

It should be embarrassing. It is embarrassing, a bit, but it’s also…nice? Ammunition, for sure, the next time he comes up against the Doctor. Remember that time you wanted to cuddle?

He should say something, now. Make a move. He has his plans. But they can wait, surely. He can bide his time. And, Rassilon help him, he can’t quite bring himself to hurt Thete. Not now, not like this, not when he’s clinging to him like an angry limpet. So he leads him to the bedroom, pulls the covers back, glares just hard enough for Thete to get his boots off at least, and then tucks the two of them in. At a safe distance, his hands nearby but not touching, his face close but not too close. The Doctor looks like he’s torn between fear and a long-lost sense of peace.

“We’ll forget this,” the Master reminds him. “So why not just enjoy it?”

“This, yeah. Whatever it is,” he mutters. “Probably a scheme. Bet you’d like me forgetting it, so you can go do your dastardly deeds without me trying to stop you.” But he breathes out, and the edges of him soften, and they are almost, almost holding hands.

(Either of those, he’d said. He’d been a girl, once. The Master rolled the pronouns around in his head, trying to come up with the right word for this arsehole currently curled up and sighing, squirming incrementally towards him. The Doctor shifts around, and nudges their back against the Master’s chest, and then they both briefly black out; the idiot never did know how to regulate their telepathy.)

#craftysquidz #best enemies #dw fanfic #is #12/delgado!master #even a thing #it should be #promptapalooza

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