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leavetwn · 3 years

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* KAYLEE BRYANT, CISWOMAN + SHE/HER | you know SUZIE TANAKA, right? they’re TWENTY-ONE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, EIGHTEEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to VALENTINE BY HOPE TALA like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole ROLLERSKATES SCUFFED FROM YEARS OF USE, STARTING A JOURNAL ENTRY TWO YEARS SINCE THE LAST ONE, A SIGH OF RELIEF ONCE YOU'RE FINALLY ALONE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is NOVEMBER 28TH, so they’re a SAGGITARIUS, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( claire, 22, est, she/her )

it’s me again ! bringing a character who i’ve played for a while now, just switched up & such for every rp, and now , i’m bringin her here. :^) i hope you enjoy her as much as i do! tw: mentions of mental illness (anxiety)

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name: suzie tanaka. nickname(s): su, anything your muse wants to call her tbh. age: twenty-one. date of birth: november 28th. zodiac sign: saggitarius. gender/pronouns: ciswoman, she/her. sexual orientation: bisexual. romantic orientation: biromantic. hometown: san francisco, californio. current residence: irving, north carolina. occupation: part time waitress at cutie pie’s thanks to her skills on skates. full time student at the local college in her junior year as a creative writing major. she minors in film pro eye color: brown. hair color/style: dark brown, upper-mid back length & she usually just wears it in a simple ponytail. it’s more manageable when she’s out. however, when she’s at home, she’ll leave it down. height : 5′3″. clothing style: you can’t really put suzie’s style into one category. it’s inspired by several different eras & many times she pieces it together. some might call it a bit tacky at times, but she thinks it looks cute. to her, that’s all that matters. tattoos: none. probably could never attempt to get one cause she’s seriously afraid of needles lol. piercings: her ears and that’s when she was fairly young. reference the tattoos portion for reasoning.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

when you were around six years old , you first realized that you were lonely. it wasn’t like you weren’t around other people. it was just that those people were mostly your mom and dad. occasionally your cousins would come over sometimes, but they were all older than you by at least four years. your parents were kind of eccentric, and for that, they experienced how harsh other kids could be very early on. they decided they didn’t want you to experience the same things, so since both were felt they were prepared enough to do so, they homeschooled you to keep you sheltered from those types of things.

you’re sure they had good intentions. that’s not something you questioned, but you wished they’d at least find another kid you could be friends with or have another kid. you found yourself bored by yourself, so you immersed yourself in things like books or whatever movies they had around the house. this is where your love of fairytales began, and you’d fantasize about living in one while you read or watched the stories unfold.

you lived in your head, and you still pretty much do. you’re an idealist, even though you haven’t seen much of the world. perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t ventured very far from your home that makes you so, and while life could still be boring, you always had another book or movie to keep you company. you grew content being on your own, and the more that you were, the more you began to enjoy your own company.

that didn’t change the fact that you longed for friends. in all the stories you read or watched, the protagonist had one other person along with them for much of their journey. sure, you had people that you were friendly with, but it was never to the extent that you wanted. it was never a best friend or a close group — just someone you saw on few occasions. it also didn’t help how you felt when you were around others. the way you monitored every step you took, the way you crossed your legs, or going over the way you would speak to someone in your head over and over. you figured for the longest time it was because you were shy, but a diagnosis of anxiety gave you a lot more clarity and almost a sense of relief. those things started to make more sense.

being alone helped a lot when it came to academics. you spent a lot of your time studying or looking up random ass facts on the internet, and because of this, you’d call yourself fairly smart. you know your shit. it also helped a lot when getting into colleges. you didn’t aim too high though, not yet comfortable being all the way on your own. so, you chose the nearby university to attend.

you move out. you’re excited, and your parents are nervous but prepared. they’re not oblivious to the fact that this day would come. you’re ready to go out and face the world, but most of all, you’re ready to make friends. you’re ready to go out and experience the world, every small step at a time. you’re convinced at college you’ll become a brand new person, find yourself, and make plenty of friends.

it doesn’t go like that at first. of course it doesn’t. it’s a new environment, and it takes getting used to. but soon, people loosen up and warm up to you. you’re quick to make a couple of friends. it isn’t at all like the stories you’d read or watched when you were younger. it is happy and fun and joyous, but you realize that friendships take work. it’s a bit exhausting, as someone who had become such an introvert, but you manage and form close bonds.

as of now, you are working on your degree and managing life one step at a time. you’re doing pretty well, and things are looking up. you keep your head in the clouds still to this day, imagining what the future will be like. you’re still idealistic and optimistic, not that that’s a bad thing.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 .

i was being exaggerative with the ‘being at home’ stuff rip. i mean, she did spend a lot of time at home, but she wasn’t always there. her dad would take her out to rockin’ and rollin’, and i mean, she fuckin rocks when it comes to skating. it was kind of freeing to her as a child. she def got a pair of rollerblades as a christmas present, and she probably was the kid skating down her neighborhood road and shit from sunrise until her mom told her to take her ass inside.

maybe seems like she’s ditzy and she’s probably somewhat naive, but she’s definitely not stupid. she’s also a fast learner. she is, however, too nice for her own good. she’ll learn eventually, but she’s hopeful and an optimist at heart 💔

loves her dad but tells her mom everything. she doesn’t recognize it, but her mom was probably her first best friend lmaoo. they have a really good relationship. she has a good relationship with her dad too. he’s a bit more closed off than her mom, and she recognizes that but understands.

has an irrational fear that everyone’s like,,, staring at her & thinking she’s weird. really wants everyone to like her but she’s not sure how to make that happen (news flash, it won’t)

her fam is actually from san francisco but when she was 3, her dad got a better offer in irving so that’s how they ended up here. she knows this & she wonders what life woulda been like if she stayed back in san fran. probably wouldn’t have changed but she literally lives in her head and imagines shit like that’s her job at this point so yehhh

dreams of being a screenwriter and maybe even a director one day. she saw how film and books influenced her life as a kid & she wants to have the same impact, yk? v cute to me i love that. maybe she’ll write a book one day too who knows

i’m feelin like she has a ton of online friends cause she was seeking connection /w people so it makes sense. shout out to all her online pals who kept her sane & shit, but it wasn’t enough for her cause she really wanted those kinds of things irl.

is a hopeless romantic rip to her. just wants someone to sweep her up off her feet and give her butterflies but this aint no damn fairytale so let’s make it chaotic

character parallels: lily (dash & lily, 2020) , amélie poulain (amélie, 2001) , belle in some ways lmao (beauty and the beast, 1991) more to be added.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

* friends, best friends, etc. — literally any friends at all. this is the connection she craves the most tbh. platonic over romantic periodt ! she just wants people to braid her hair and have deep, personal convos with about literally anything while legally blonde is on the television.

* a bad influence — i mean, she stayed inside mostly & is kind of an introvert. didn’t have tons of friends either, so she didn’t really have time to go to parties, etc. BE A BAD INFLUENCE SHE NEEDS TO LET LOOSE LMAOO. it’ll prolly take a lot to get her out but hey

* good influence — someone she’s a good influence on & who she helps in some way. i could see it happenin’. if you see it happening, i mean... hmu you know where i am mwah 💖

* crush — someone she’s head over heels with. i mean, it probably wouldn’t take a lot. in my head she be catching feelings way too fast. it’s just a thing, but yeah, it could go either way. maybe your character is into her too or she’ll end up getting her heart broken which is lmao bound to happen one day. could also be someone who’s crushing on her but she’s way to busy focusing all her romantic attention on someone else to notice? idk i’m just here for all the plots.

* annoyance — someone who finds her ass annoying/does not like her. she wants everyone to like her so it would be so confusing and upsetting and she would be like wtf did i do but i want it cause i love angst. sorry to all my muses out there luv yall but i’m just bein real

* again, anything at all — if you have an idea that you love, pls don’t hesitate to hmu and lemme know. i promise i will 99.9% of the time be down. the same goes for any wanted connection doodads that i reblog like if u see it and ur like omg i luv that... PLEASE hmu i luv u all already & just wanna have plots and write with you srsly

#irvingintro #well there u have it my last one done i am so THANKFUL AND HAPPY #takes a bow #the way it's almost 4 am see i did not lie i am up forever

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devoraqs · 4 years

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My contribution to the Rockin’ Vesuvia AU over on Instagram featuring Alexander as a freelance bass player. His personal style is folk and indie rock, but he’ll play anything tbh. He’s not been a permanent member of a band since university and spends his time depping for others when they need a bassist who can show up and just play. While he’s quite a talented musician and songwriter, he’s not overly fond of being in the spotlight (ironically, since I’ve just drawn him standing in one, lol). Having said that, that doesn’t stop him from putting a few impressive bass solos for himself into the songs he writes.

#the arcana #the arcana au #the arcana fan apprentice #fan apprentice #apprentice alexander #my art

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starlingsrps · 4 years

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palmer osborne.

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: palmer robert osborne REASONING: nope, not really. NICKNAME(S): ozzy, six PREFERRED NAME(S): he'll answer to pretty much whatever tbh BIRTH DATE: june 27 AGE: twenty seven ZODIAC: cancer GENDER: cis male PRONOUNS: he/him ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: heteromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual NATIONALITY: american ETHNICITY: american CURRENT LOCATION: montreal LIVING CONDITIONS: pretty neat and tidy, if a little....bachelor-y.

BACKGROUND BIRTH PLACE: bismarck, nd HOMETOWN: bismarck, nd SOCIAL CLASS: upper, he guesses. EDUCATION LEVEL: in theory, he has a degree in history from the university of north dakota but........... FATHER: stark osborne, 67, retried state trooper MOTHER: peggy osborne, 65, retired kindergarten teacher SIBLING(S): adelaide ross, 40; jim, 37; natalie gilbert, 36; jennifer hoffman, 32, matt, 30 BIRTH ORDER: youngest CHILDREN: — PET(S): a polydactyl calico named hank OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: in-laws, legions of them. all of his siblings are married and he's up to twelve nieces and nephews. LEGION. PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: like, he guesses. CURRENT RELATIONSHIP: single, ready to mingle. ARRESTS?: there have been Conversations with certain members of law enforcement, he will say that much. he's kept his nose pretty clean since junior year of college though.

OCCUPATION & INCOME PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: left wing, montreal canadiens SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: investing - his brother jim is a broker and has been helping him build a portfolio. he's not exactly sure what it all means so he trusts jim. CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: yeah sure it's cool PAST JOB(S): AHL (st. john's ice caps/laval rocket), ECHL (greenville swamp rabbits), pizza maker SPENDING HABITS: reasonable - he's not a big spender, never has been. nice apartment where he doesn't have to share a bathroom with anyone else has been his biggest indulgence. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: man, he doesn't know.

SKILLS & ABILITIES PHYSICAL STRENGTH: A+ SPEED: A+ INTELLIGENCE: like a C ACCURACY: A AGILITY: A STAMINA: A TEAMWORK: he's a fantastic teammate TALENTS: hockey, loyal, tenacious SHORTCOMINGS: his temper burns fast and hot LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, ten words of spanish. he's aware he should speak more french, playing in montreal but it's only been a year and he's....trying. DRIVE?: yep, a bmw he felt like he was supposed to get but that kind of makes him feel like a dick. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: yep CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: he could figure it out with diagrams RIDE A BICYCLE?: he couldn't tell you the last time he tried SWIM?: sure PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: nope PLAY CHESS?: nope BRAID HAIR?: kind of? he's grown it out pretty long in the past and he fucked around with it with braids and such TIE A TIE?: yep PICK A LOCK?: sure

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS FACE CLAIM: jack quaid EYE COLOR: blue HAIR COLOR: brown HAIR TYPE/STYLE: short, little curly. he's growing out a buzzcut. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: neither DOMINANT HAND: left HEIGHT: 6'1 BUILD: athletic, booty rockin everywhere. EXERCISE HABITS: daily, in one way or another. SKIN TONE: fair TATTOOS: shockingly, nah. he's thought about it but only usually when he's drunk and figures that's not a good time to get a tattoo. PIERCINGS: nah MARKS/SCARS: oh yeah. NOTABLE FEATURES: expressive face, mile deep dimples, freckles USUAL EXPRESSION: amused CLOTHING STYLE: jeans and a button down tucked in - he likes to look neat. suits for game day and he loves a nice suit. JEWELRY: nah. ALLERGIES: seasonal DIET: healthy but he puts hot sauce on everything like a monster. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: like aches and pains from hockey for twenty four years straight but he'll live. he's had a few concussions and a few hip and shoulder injuries but nothing.........truly awful.

PSYCHOLOGY MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good TEMPERAMENT: choleric ELEMENT: fire MBTI TYPE: ESTP MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: palmer has a chip the size of east texas on his shoulder. he only got a full nhl contract last year and he's still scared shitless that someone's going to be like "hey what are you doing here" and kick his ass back to greenville. SOCIABILITY: pretty good - he's friendly and upbeat if he likes you but will fuck with you if he doesn't but it's hard to tell because Dimples. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: he wears his heart on his sleeve - you'll see every thought and emotion. PHOBIA(S): The Big One, be it concussion or injury. ADDICTION(S): nah DRUG USE: nope, never ALCOHOL USE: very, very seldom during the season but yeah, sure in off-season PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: not off the ice at least.

MANNERISMS SPEECH STYLE: measured, even. ACCENT: kind of flat midwestern QUIRKS: the hot sauce thing. HOBBIES: video games, hanging. he likes exploring montreal still. HABITS: working out? NERVOUS TICKS: clearing his throat when he's thinking or doesn't like the question. DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: don't fuck it up. POSITIVE TRAITS: energetic, direct, tenacious, loyal, emotional. NEGATIVE TRAITS: insensitive, impatient, risk-prone, reckless, insecure. SENSE OF HUMOR: juvenile DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: tiny bit.

FAVORITES ACTIVITY: playing hockey - he's been playing since he was three and it's his favorite thing in the whole damn world ANIMAL: cats - he loves hank the most. BEVERAGE: water BOOK: nah. COLOR: red FOOD: breakfast food HOLIDAY: christmas MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: drive MOVIE: the mighty ducks is like, 70% of the reason he got into hockey. SONG: "could have been me" by the struts SCENERY: anything out of an airplane window SCENT: ice and pine SPORT: come on. SPORTS TEAM: he doesn't want to commit to an answer TELEVISION SHOW: letterkenny WEATHER: summer VACATION DESTINATION: anywhere warm and sunny

ATTITUDES GREATEST DREAM: keep doing this as long as he's able. that simple. GREATEST FEAR: see above, re: The Big One. MOST AT EASE WHEN: he's playing hockey - he's pretty confident in his abilities there. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: getting to this point. he's been clawing his way up to the nhl for five years, played his first game with montreal in 2017 (got called up from laval for a game, it was the best day ever) and signed his NHL contract two summers ago. so that. BIGGEST REGRET: not keeping his mouth shut sometimes TOP PRIORITIES: his career, his cat, his family.

#c: palmer osborne #my mouthy himbo son

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seven-oomen · 4 years

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(1)Yay for getting more clues to what happened! Also, I'm feeling inspired, and have some thoughts/headcanons/etc about our 90s kids (not at all influenced by my own vague and hazy memories of the early 90s...) that I would really like to share with someone else that might (I hope) appreciate them. So buckle up, here we go (hope none get lost): First off I stand by my previous statement that Noah was totally grunge. He was 100% that shaggy haired kid in ratty flannel, ripped acid wash, and Docs

(2) hanging out at the mall arcade and totally owning everyone at Mortal Kombat (I cannot help myself.) Chris was a little more minimalist punk; faded black jeans and black band t-shirts,ducking into Hot Topic to pick up a studded belt and look longingly at the frilly Goth shirts that he knew Gerard would kill him for buying. He kept his hair comparatively short for hunter reasons, but let grow out on top as a tiny act of defiance. Peter I feel would have leaned a little more towards casual

(3) chic; sort of grunge/punk influenced, but more designer labels. Totally rockin' that Young Hercules hair, too. (I really need to see that show someday, it looks like a fantastic trainwreck.) He would be the one who'd walk into Spencer's and head right for the "adult" section with no shame whatsoever (they're a novelty/band merch/random weird crap type shop, they're still around and have a website if you don't know what I'm talking about.) He'd also be the one getting them thrown out of

(4) said store for inappropriate behavior in the back section where the blacklight posters were displayed (he just really wanted to see if it made the purple in Noah's eyes brighter and to check Chris's clothes for "mystery stains", okay?) Melissa would be absolutely owning the high ponytail/poufy bangs/scrunchie look, hoop earrings jingling, cropped sweater and perfectly fitting mom jeans catching envious looks as she dragged Claudia into Suncoast to buy the newest Selena album. Claudia I see

(5) having a more hippie-inspired grunge look; flannel shirts and tiered skirts, or plaid babydoll dresses layered over long sleeve tees, both with butterfly clips and brightly colored, mismatched Chucks. Natalie (because why not throw a few more adults in here?) would have been floral babydoll dresses (not entirely unlike her daughter), or pastel short suits over colorful tights when she wanted to impress, hitting up Claire's for butterfly clips and Alice bands. Rafael would have been more

(6) your traditional preppy type; brightly-colored polo shirts and pleated chinos, working as the manager at the mall theater, constantly having to send poor, hapless usher/clerk Fins took (probably casual jeans and t-shirts jock when not in work uniform) to chase the group out for trying to theater hop, or some combo of Chris/Noah/Peter for inappropriate behavior (I feel that would be a theme for those three.) I also still stand by my feelings on a Triskele 3-way friendship necklace set.

(7) I mean, it would break into "revenge" spirals, how perfect is that for Peter? Maybe a Tree of Life/Nemeton style one for Noah and Claudia, and a bullet style set for Chris and Melissa? Also still believe that Peter totally got them Official Hale Pack Members leather jackets at some point. (Or for more feels, maybe John or Talia gifted them?) Uh...I think that was everything? Or at least, all I can recall right now, I'm sure there was more, but, well hamster brain... Anyway...enjoy?...

All I can say to all of this is yes, basically XD. I think I was mostly thinking in the same lines for what Peter, Noah, and Chris would have dressed like. Hadn’t really considered the others, but now I definitely want to write a prequel to Once upon a time that is just the boys getting together and having shenanigans with their friends in the 90s. Because the nostalgia is real. I only consciously got the fashion near the end of the 90s, since I was born in ‘91. But man, those were wild days and I long back for the days of wallet chains, those weird but really comfy baggy jeans and overalls. Those were some times.

(And I am so watching Young Hercules now, I’ve found it online and it’s apparently a movie with Ian in it, so yeah, done.) XD

But yeah here’s what I have on the boys’ fashion right now (at least in the outfits they’re introduced in):

Chris:

Faded black jeans with a studded belt and combat boots, a green day shirt, dog tags, and a biker jacket. Paired with a short hairdo that’s short on the sides but kinda longer on top that gives him an untamed mess kinda vibe.

Noah:

Paint-splattered black ripped jeans, white shirt, black doc martens with yellow laces, and a red plaid flannel shirt that he ties around his middle. His curly blond hair is always shaggy and he’s constantly tucking it to the sides because it has a tendency to fall in front of his eyes.

Peter:

Black tight designer jeans paired with a chain and black leather designer boots with a white shirt that has a black howling wolf on it with the words ‘hungry like the wolf’ written in white in the creature and a wolf tooth necklace around his neck that’s definitely one of his own canines that he found in the woods after a run. And of course, a designer leather jacket that has a small triskelion engraved in the collar. Because Peter is very extra, thank you. He’s got longer locks that fall just past his ears and kinda curl at the last few inches.

I’ve definitely written down the idea for the Triskelion necklace and the Hale jackets. I fucking loved that idea so much when you first suggested it and I haven’t been able to let it go. So yeah, that’ll definitely show up in the story at some point because man, I am living for it. I love when you start rambling tbh because you say the best things and I can’t help but just go:

#Anonymous #ben says stuff #once upon a time comments #petopher #90s au

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domesticangel · 5 years

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ok ok a 68 plymouth gtx for ris is perfection but what do u think the rest of the squadra has? i really wanna say one of them has a studebaker somehow but i just dont know (ignore it was a us based company i love them anyways shhhh)

god. this is the best ask i couldve ever gotten. buckle up. ha ha. bc cars. and also bc I’m not gonna shut the fuck up

but YEAH NO SAME i also chose to foolishly disregard that italians wouldnt likely drive american cars (or necessarily drive at all…america is mad obsessed with cars compared to a lot of other countries so sdkfhsdkj) bc its all fun and games so ik a lot of this would be unrealistic but I’m american so i really only know about american cars/cars that are popular in america dskjfsdkjf so sorry for America-Centrism On Main but if any italians or ppl w knowledge of italian cars wanna chime in w their own takes, by all means!!!

oh and this post also foolishly assumes la sqaudra has money. lets pretend for just this post they all actually got paid for their jobs

SO WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY warning this is gonna make this post rly long but I’m gonna ad pics of the cars i think they’d all drive like. in case anyone reading wants to know what they look like but doesn’t wanna look em all up so I’m gonna throw this under a cut in case it gets crazy

ok i can 1000% see sorbet and gelato sharing a like studebaker speedster that they would take out cruising for special occasions….it would spend most of its time under a tarp locked in a garage bc if you touch that car without permission you WILL die by their loving intertwined hands. some couples have babies. some couples get dogs. sorbet and gelato got a studebaker speedster and treated it with almost as much love as they do each other. one might think their driving would match the “crazy” impression everyone has of them but honestly? they prefer to take it slow and cruise so they have more time to enjoy each others company. on the job they’ll wreck a rental all to hell, but not their baby. the rest of squadra would low key fear for their lives on the rare occasion that sorbet and gelato offered them rides in their car bc the inside is spotless and they all knew if they left anything out of place or dirtier than they found it their time was up

i think they’d dig a color scheme something like this; still looks mob and sophisticated without losing the whimsicality u feel me

i really like a classic chevelle ss or ‘67 mustang gt500 for formaggio

(ignore how fuckin shiney these are bc make no mistake his would be scratched and worn all to hell)

in line w my headcanon that he’d be knowledgable about cars, i think he’d like supe them up and mod them for street racing or 1960s style drag racing. since we don’t get a lot of individual sqaudra backstory i sometimes think about him maybe losing his parents at a young age or having a bad home life as is typical of passione members and getting taken in by a local mechanic, and only as he got older realizing the shop had mafia ties which eventually paved the way for his induction etc but the knowledge and interest in cars always stuck with him. i think he’d probably drive the most recklessly out of all of squadra (rivaled only by ghiaccio ofc) bc he just loves to go fast as fuck and show off. he’s definitely a revs-the-engine-when-he-drives-by-someone-cute ass bitch

illuso would drive a ‘71 dodge demon, and honestly only because he liked the name and how it looked

it would honestly drive formaggio insane that illuso would ONLY use this car to get around as opposed to flying down the countryside or doing burnouts in a field. illuso doesn’t know much about cars and he doesn’t care to learn either; if it looks good and the engine turns he’s happy. formaggio would BEG him to race him or let him take it for a spin, but illuso would be adamant in turning him down every time. he has no desire to take risks and tear up a perfectly good car, but if he feels especially generous he’ll let formaggio ride with him while formaggio excitedly rattles off specs illuso doesn’t understand in the slightest. he won’t readily admit to it but seeing formaggio that excited is really endearing and illuso would even end up learning something here and there from their time spent together

ghiaccio is anal enough about All Things Italian that he breaks my disclaimer and actually does drive an italian car. y'all already know what the fuck is going on

hell yeah ghiaccio drives a lambo. ‘71 lamborghini miura to be exact. and boy does he make this motherfucker screech and drift. as much as he seems to abuse the car he’s extremely uptight about upkeep and will take it in as often as needed for repairs. you can also bet your ass he’d berate any of his fellow squadra members that didn’t drive italian-made cars, asking them why they’d choose to drive that trash on wheels when their country is home to the best cars in the entire fucking world and they have their pick. being in the passenger seat with him at the wheel is terrifying, don’t get me wrong, but he’s actually a very skilled driver, like to the point that he probably couldve been a stunt car driver if he wanted. but whatever you do don’t show any adverse reactions to his hard turns or brakes bc he will take it as a personal insult to his skill as a driver and you will find that the louder his voice gets the heavier his foot gets on the gas so Good Fucking Luck. (also yes ik we already see ghiaccio driving a car in canon but its headcanon time and during headcanon time ghiaccio rocks the fucking lambo)

prosciutto would drive a big beautiful blue ‘65 thunderbird convertible

he would also be very particular about the upkeep of his car, but without any sort of personal touch; he hasn’t the time nor desire to keep up with the car himself so he just makes sure he takes it to a reputable shop to do it for him. it’s not his “baby” or an heirloom; its just a car. it runs and looks good as all fuck while doing it so thats all he really cares about tbh. that said, if anyone ever scratched or keyed or dented it they wouldn’t live long to regret bc as a wise man once said, you don’t fuck with a mans automobile. i mentioned this in the my squadra meme as well, but even though he smokes like a chimney, he NEVER smokes in his car. no smoking, eating, or drinking in the thunderbird. sealed packs of cigs in the console only and if the seals been broken it has to stay in your pocket. the upholstery is pristine and he prefers to keep it that way. he’s a very mild mannered driver and even often errs on the side of slow; he doesn’t really see the point in wasting gas by speeding or messing up the tires or alignment by showboating. he knows that he AND the car already look good enough to command bystanders’ attention so he doesn’t waste his time with any extra flashiness

ima keep it real with you chief: melone would drive a car you could fuck in the back of and thats about all there is to it, so look no further than the spacious ‘61 chrysler newport

he would somehow figure out a way to get an aux cord and a sound system in this old motherfucker and would listen to his music so loud it about rattled the doors off, much to any passengers’ chagrin. he’s almost worse to ride with than formaggio or ghiaccio because he texts and messes with the music the entire time he’s driving. like its almost impressive how often he manages to NOT have his hands on the wheel. he’s a master knee-driver. all that in mind the rest of squadra groans in unison when melone offers to drive and risotto, who doesn’t have time for a squabble, gives the ok and send them on their way bc they know they’re gonna have to deal with melone insisting that driver picks the music and white knuckling the handles the whole time. but regardless, if the chrysler’s rockin and the britney’s boppin, don’t come a-knockin

since i see pesci as the youngest i think he’d be the last to get a car, but the rest of squadra would surprise him by all pitching in and getting him a ‘69 buick sport wagon

it’d definitely be a fixer-upper (prosciutto insisted it’d be good for pesci to retroactively “earn” the car by learning how to take care of it, prompting the rest of squadra to point out prosciutto never even learned how to fix a car himself) but pesci would be out of his mind appreciative of it either way. after years of only ever riding in the back seat of someone else’s car he’d be so excited about finally having a car to call his own. formaggio would take him under his wing and show him everything he needed to do to make sure she stayed running in tip-top shape and they’d grow pretty close over it; formaggio would lose his damn mind the first time he’d convince pesci to do a burnout on his own. pesci would try his best to keep the car clean but he’d probably have a bad habit of leaving empty drink bottles in the floorboard or extra jackets in the back seat, but all in all he’d do a pretty good job taking care of the car and making the generous gift from his team worth it. most non-work related outings would have pesci chauffeuring, but he wouldn’t mind, bc seeing all his friends crammed into his car and having a good time would make him really happy

and last but not least risotto and his ‘68 plymouth gtx 🖤

perhaps surprisingly he wouldnt be excessively meticulous about upkeep; he definitely wouldnt do anything needlessly reckless to harm the car or neglectful of standard upkeep, but he would definitely see it as more of a personal part of him than a machine that needed to maintain perfection. he wouldn’t really sweat scratches or dents here and there; they’re bound to happen to a car that old and if he found the time he’d take it to get it buffed. like i said in the hc meme i think it would’ve belonged to his father (or any family member he was close to really) and it was passed onto him when he died so it’s kind of a sentimental thing for risotto. though not quite the same level as formaggio, he’s fairly good at making standard repairs on his own, and doesn’t mind spending a weekend or two up under the car fixing it up and making sure it runs smooth. the rest of squadra would each be surprised the first time they ever rode anywhere with him; the second the car started old classic rock or metal would blast through the speakers, with risotto mumbling a quick sorry and turning it down, but not all the way off. they would find out that their stoic leader prefers to drive with the windows down, one hand on the wheel, other out the window tapping to the beat of the music on the hood

aaaaaaaaand YEAH. i told you i wasn’t gonna shut the fuck up DSFHKJADHKSDJ LMAO SORRY I WENT TF OFF BUT YEAH THOSE ARE MY. SQUADRA CLASSIC CAR HCs

#txt #la squadra di esecuzione #yeah i gonna tag this!! just for funsies!!#idk just in case anyone else is. as interested in specifically squadra and classic cars as i am LMAO

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moviegroovies · 5 years

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so to me, one of the hallmarks of a good piece of media is people willingly thinking about the characters after it’s over.

obviously, this isn’t like, a 100% success rate kind of thing. there are objectively good, enjoyable pieces of media out there that have no “fandom” type presence on the internet, because, while it exhibited great worldbuilding/storytelling/framing/what have you, it just wasn’t made up of the kinds of characters that people latch on to; the joke about avatar (2009) having less than 100 fics on ao3 despite being the best selling movie of all time for a solid decade is well known because of this phenomenon exactly. amazing cgi, solid plot, but at the end of the day, not that many people cared about jake sully. even still, i think this character-imprinting thing has an important, often overlooked role in intrinsically endearing people to movies that, outside of this factor, might be easily forgettable or even outright disliked.

case in point: my movie of the day/week/month (how often do i post on this blog, anyway?)....

that’s right, lads, today i’m going to talk about the lost boys.

if you’ve seen the lost boys, you’ll probably know that it’s not like, objectively, a masterpiece. in fact, if i were feeling particularly uncharitable, it would be easy for me to describe it as a fairly straightforward, low-budget horror b-movie, with a aesop-heavy and simplistic plot and a penchant for cheesy special effects, saved only by its rockin’ soundtrack.

...but i won’t.

i won’t, because using that description would leave out a detail i think it’s completely unfair of me not to touch on: the characters. i love them!! i was hooked from just about the very start of the movie by david’s creepy, affably evil leadership style, sam’s dorky little brother-ness, and michael’s 3cool5school airs. each of the characters, down to the frog brothers (named edgar and allan after the esteemed mr. poe, which really tickled me), the other lost boys, grandpa, lucy, and max, have their own distinct quirkiness that makes them memorable and draws me to want to explore more of their world, more of their stories.

not enough to watch the infamous direct-to-dvd sequels, of course, but you get what i’m saying.

there’s an old tip in writing that says something along the lines of “good characters can save a bad plot, but a good plot can’t save bad characters,” and that pretty much sums up my thoughts exactly on this movie. like, the plot itself is pretty much the message ‘peer pressure is bad’ wrapped up in some ugly monster makeup; not exactly cult classic material. however, like i’ve said, the characters and the fact that we get genuine, endearing interactions between them outside of just furthering the plot save it from the dumpster fire and, together, put together a story greater than the sum of its parts. no, it’s not a fuckin’ cinematic masterpiece by any stretch of the words, but it’s a fun movie, and there’s a reason i’ve watched it four times in the past three days, you know?

(a good chunk of that reason was me slowly losing my grip on my sanity as i frantically put in the dvd over and over again, desperately trying to make myself attracted to kiefer sutherland so i could enjoy the movie to the fullest extent of my ability. i’m proud to announce a perfect success rate, and a slightly degraded sense of taste in men, reflecting the completion of that goal.

if you too want to find something to lust after beyond his objectively ugly as sin face, trust me when i say it’s all in the voice. mmmmm)

my favorite thing that the lost boys did was the exploration of different types of friendship and familial bonds. that’s the most striking thing about the movie for me; not only are the characters individuals whom i would like to explore, their interactions with each other are touching and worth exploring in their own right. there’s definitely something about some stories that drives people to write fanfiction (or is that just me? ha ha), and imo, the lost boys totally has it. in fact, while the fandom is sitting pretty at 600+ fics on ao3 (take that, avatar), i was honestly sort of surprised there weren’t more, exploring all the interesting ‘what if’s’ the film presented, and expounding on the bonds that we got to see the effects of in the limited screentime we had.

what i liked about those bonds was that there were such a multitude of them. there were quite a few platonic bonds making up the crux of the movie (being, in my opinion, much more interesting than the main romantic bond which was explored through star and michael, although isn’t that kind of always the case in these 80′s teen movies? i can’t think of a single designated couple i was actually invested in except for veronica sawyer and jason dean... ferris bueller and sloane peterson, maybe? but i also feel like those two were making a cameron sandwich, so idk if it counts lol), but the way they were treated was cool in that they were unique: we got to see two different kinds of sibling bonds, with michael and sam emerson joking around in an easy, teasing way that totally screamed “wow, this movie was written by someone who actually has a brother” to me (isn’t it sad that some people have clearly never so much as seen a set of siblings in their life, judging by the way they write them?) while edgar and allan frog seem to take themselves more seriously, like a pair of army buddies, we got to see the pack-like bond of the lost boys and the (mostly) good-natured way they hazed michael into their group before things went to shit with them, we got to see star (and some of the lost boys, if you pay attention) being protective and maternal around laddie, and we got to see the uneasy alliance turned nerdy friendship between the frogs and sam. there are also three parent-child bonds that get explored, between lucy and her father (it’s a pretty sweet take on the kindhearted grown child taking care of senile-ish father thing) and lucy and her boys, each of which she has a distinct relationship with: sam is the baby, while michael she seems to level with and trust more, even after he starts getting into trouble and acting up.

then of course there are two (three, if you count the widow johnson/grandpa emerson subplot, which.... i totally do) romantic relationships: star and michael falling in a sort of love-at-first-sight passionate relationship that soon dooms mikey and eventually saves star, while lucy tries her best to get back into the dating game with max, who is nefarious, of course, but also a little bit sad. remember what i said about what-ifs? i would love to see a fic exploring what might have happened had max’s plan worked out after all, but i guess that’s neither here nor there.

not to be a blatant slash shipper jumping on any two male characters who move or anything, but i think possibly the most important/influential relationship in the whole thing was that between david and michael; michael, obviously, got drawn into the lost boys’ circle by his insta-attraction to star, but he sticks around because of david. he pretty much ignores star once they get to the cliff that night, his attention focused on david because he’s there, and he’s intense, and michael is kind of a dumb bi bitch totally captivated. he drinks max’s blood at david’s taunting, and in direct opposition to star’s advice. there’s a lot i could say on this subject but tbh i’m running out of steam, so that might be a thing for a whole different post.

basically, there are a lot of cool interactions in this movie, and i think a lot of film makers could take note of that. even critically acclaimed, award winning movies being made in today’s world tend to fail to hit that special note, that character-imprintation which makes the audience not only stay engaged to the end, but also to care. not every movie needs that, of course; not everything can launch a darkhorse fandom the way the lost boys has, and honestly, not everything should... unless it’s trying to cater to my interests, in which case, well.

if all movies were made to cater to my interests, i would have the time of my fucking life, but it’d probably be dark days for the rest of y’all.

thinking about it now, the lack of that element is kind of what makes me wary of the horror genre in the first place; i find so many of those movies just boring as all hell, because they’re too into the “scaring” thing without any of the “caring” thing. people, if we don’t care about the characters we’re watching, then who the fuck gives a shit if they get devoured by shitsucking vampires, anyway? finding the lost boys, a “horror” (i guess i use the term loosely) movie which relied heavily on those character interactions was honestly a godsend, because THIS is what i want to see more of. going down that line of thought, i think it’s honestly a shame and a half that the sequels which joel schumacher planned never got to see the light of day (and, of course, that we were instead left with the tribe, which for the life of me i refuse to fucking watch). the interactions between the lost boys could have been the most interesting part of the movie, if only they had been spotlighted a bit more. that would have been the case in the proposed prequel, the beginning, which would see the boys start out before they became vampires at all. reading about the script for that is honestly sending me, tbh. we could have seen that, and what we got instead were “sequels” that focused mainly on the frogs, when they connected to the original movie at all? where’s the fucking justice?

whatever. that’s the one thing about this franchise i never could stomach; all the damn frog brothers.

(till next time!)

#the lost boys #text post #i liked the frog brothers in the movie don't get me wrong it's just like #yknow how the real gh*stbusters cartoon was highkey ruined by the increasing prevalence of slimer as the show's run kept going #that's what the frog brothers are imo.

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bluezombiejesus · 6 years

Text

05x03 Thoughts

Aight so this time around I’m kinda sleepy cuz I just woke up from a nap so I apologize in advance at the off-hand chance that that makes me miss something.

I’m not gonna comment too much on the explosion cuz I already saw it on Youtube

10k’s at 9,200-something I’m shOOK

Estes is def gonna be an important guy this episode. So far I’m neutral about him but there’s something,,off putting about him

Where’s Dante??

“You look like Satan” “And I’m rockin it!” I LOVE HIM

I also like how they touched on the fact that everything seems to be murphy’s fault sometimes

Also on the “my friend here’s a little phobic of everything” thing

The Table Talker is a mood tbh

I got a weird vibe from Estes wanting to take CZ’s camera tbh

Sun Mei and Warren’s reunion is everthing

OH WAIT IT JUST HIT ME THAT DANTE’S PROBABLY IN LIMBO

Oh wait Murphy’s running away

And someone’s following him. At first I thought it was Muscle (Pandora’s helper), but it just hit me that it could be Dante

Red is so cute this season. I’m so glad we get to see more of her considering before season 5 she was literally in only about 5-ish episodes

The hunt for Dante is on

The news broadcast was rlly chilling oh boy. Due to him being a Zona Boy I’m getting the same vibe. I doubt he has ulterior motives but there’s somethin about him yknow

George was ready to smack a bitch today by the end of his speech

OH IT WAS DANTE

AND MURPHY’S WITH HIM SKKSKSKS

OH MY GOD I LOST MY SHIT WHEN MURPHY WENT FLYING SIDEWAYS

HE FELL OFF I’M SCREAMING

Pandora’s monologue was so creepy GHSHSHS. This must’ve been a fun role for Lydia

I’m like 96% sure she caused the explosion

“Someone’s gonna get an ass whoopin if you don’t stop talking”HOO I FELT THAT

Hooo boy everyone’s running away

I GENUINELY THOUGHT SARGE AND 10K WERE RATTING THEM OUT

I thought the people in the cars were gonna be blends but it doesn’t seem like it

Wait CZ and Doc are wcting like zombies to lure the guys out. Smart.

I like how the guys immediately give up. Smart.

“Here’s a sock for ya, catch” LMAO

The guy who waved em off is me

OH SHIT HOODED GUY WASN’T DANTE FUCK FUCK FUCK

WAIT IT’S WESSON I THINK

AS IN THE BLEND GUY

WHY DOES MURPHY FALL SO MUCH THIS EPISODE JE S U S

I WAS RIGHT IT’S WESSON

WHAT A PURE REUNION UGH I’M CRYING

I L O VE THE TABLE TALKER AND I MEAN IT

It just hit me that RedK’s barely had time to talk during this.

WHAT IS PANDORA DOING

EW WHY IS SHE LICKING HIS EAR SWEETIE STOPSTOPSTOP

Also this episode features most of the scenes from Pandora’s promo pics lmao I NOTICED

The red rock thing is so genius

THEY’RE STILL COLOR-COORDINATED OH MY GOD HIS LEGACY CARRIED ON

I thought Limbo wasn’t gonna be introduced till episode 6. This is a surprise but a very pleasant one tbh

You think Will’s alive?? What about his kid?? They were both p significant last season (although I doubt they’ll be taking an important stage this episode bc

WAIT RED DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT SARGE UP TO NOW nvm she knew half of it

That begs the question tho: how does sarge feel?

I FEEL SO BAD WHEN I SAW THOSE CRUCIFIED Z’S BC MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS “T-POSE”

THE INTERNET HAS RUINED ME CONGRATS YOU GUYS YOU RUINED ME

oH GOD CARLOS

“Blink once,blink twice” is a timeless method

WAIT Y’ALL DO YOU REMEMBER THE GUY FROM SEASON 1

I DON’T REMEMBER HIS NAME (my best guess is Brandon) BUT HE WAS THE ZOMBIE MURPHY MERCIED

Anyway Warren mercying Carlos gave me te same vibe

SHIT THEY BROKE THE GATE

“You worry about sarge a lot” WHAT HAVE I BEEN TELLING Y’ALL SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING THAT IS A BONAFIDE LESBIAN

OH BOY HOW IS HE NOT BEING CHEWED UP MURPHY-STYLE AS OF NOW

Oh wait it’s bc he’s a blend lmao I’m dumb

OH MY GOD HIS H A ND

I knew this was coming but still I wasn’t ready I WASN’T READY

This scene is taking me back to Murphy’s scene in the first episode

Also it takes me back to white light cuz of the hear loss

I’m glad how they brought back the “everything’s in slo-mo” thing too.

OH MY GOD THEY REALLY DID THAT TO SARGE DIDN’T THEY

Y’ALL I’M ABSOLUTELY PISSED WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DO THAT

I’m getting too many flashbacks to Mack

Ohhh man ohhh man I’m absolutely pained

I guess you could say she—went out with a bang

I’M SO SORRY FOR THAT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO COPE WITH THIS SO I’M TURNING TO JOKES I’M GENUINELY DEVASTATED

The sound design in the scene where 10k’s getting his hand bandaged is genius

The graves in the promo were for the crucified talkers. Aww :’(

George is so devastated about Newmerica but tbh I’m too anguished about Sarge to think about anything else

There’s this ugly pit in the bottom of my stomach I hate this so much

“Puppies and kittens” as the George-Warren version of the “finger-point” is my aesthetic

P A ND OR A

Edit: It literally just occurred to my dumb dumb ass that Estes is not the shady one, but rather Pandora. She’s the puppet master who’s pulling Estes’ strings. The reason she doesn’t seem to like George very much is because George is the other source of authority in Newmerica, aka a limit to her power.

#i feel so bad #z nation #z nation spoilers

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greetingsfromeboncreek · 5 years

Text

BEHOLD the rest of the commentaries. They’re pretty short in comparison to the others, and I wrote them pretty stream of consciousness, so I can’t guarantee how much sense they make, but it’s done, dammit.

BTW, my overall favorite characters (in no particular order): Arthur, Charlie, Meredith, Alaster, Iggy, Bael, Mara, Junior, Solstice

My thoughts on 33 different characters below the cut:

The New Friends:

Kirk: Like Nick, probably could have been written out and not much would be changed. However, he gets a pass because he was never really meant to be in the main storyline to start with, being born of a short lived prompt based adventure on the MSPA forums, who got phased into the main storyline. However, unlike Nick he has a genuinely interesting motivation (evil goon gone good, determined to avenge his mistreated coworkers). I also love his overall cheery and easygoing personality, he seems like a very nice guy. Interesting backstory- he was apparently in the army reserves, but got hired by a private company, if I’m remembering correctly? That means that he might not have had any family in Ebon Creek- which means there may well be people still out there looking for him and worried about him, orrr they’ve just been told he’s dead, which is a sad thought. Also has an adorable dynamic with Morty- I could easily imagine him with that one gif along the lines of “I’ve only known Morty for 15 minutes, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in the room and then myself.” I also liked how he’s the only human member of the “good guys” to have any actual combat training- in an AU where nobody has demon powers or magic, he could probably wipe the floor with everyone else. Overall, very nice dude, love his abilities (cool weapons and shouting out power names is really fun), REALLY liked his aegis design, love his dynamic with Morty, grade A character.

Arrie- Another really cool lady! I really liked how she slowly went from confused but not incompetent, to really taking responsibility for the situation in Ebon Creek later in the storyline. It’s awesome to hear she’s going to get a more prominent role in the reboot, I ADORE her new design, and I’m quietly guessing her treasure chest motif pockets have bag of holding style portals in them. Would have loved to have seen her reunion with Azgrut, but ehn, we can’t have everything. Also love her clever use of portals- I think it works really well with her intelligent personality. I also really enjoyed her dynamic with Sally while they were teemed up- rough and tumble lady with a prim, proper and intelligent young woman, both happily beating up their opponents. Wonderful.

Victus- I’ve always had a soft spot for dry, logical characters, and Victus is no exception. I think as a fellow military dude, him and Kirk would have gotten along quite well if they had had more time to talk to each other. However, above all else I love his relationship with Bael- from how he initially turned Bael’s parasitism around on him, to how he, (in my opinion at least) ended up in a near-father figure position. It doesn’t matter how edgy Bael acts, Victus is there to pat him on the head in a patronizing fashion. Sure kid. You’re real cool. (While also taking into account his mental state and showing sympathy.) And frankly, if anyone needs that kind of support, it’s Bael.

Trevor- Always liked this guy! A very useful font of exposition, and a genuinely nice guy. I also really appreciate the fact that he’s not used to the chaos of Ebon Creek, and of horrible situations in general. His moments of vulnerability/near breakdowns (and Eric’s for that matter) remind the audience that everything that’s happening… isn’t normal. He’s the closest thing we have to an ‘audience insert’ in the Asylum arc. Loved his gadgetry based fighting style, would have been interesting to see what sort of demon powers he would have developed, but overall not too bummed about it. Really REALLY happy he got to rebuild his friendship with Azgrut, that was one of the things I was most pleased about with the ending.

Eric- Very similar to Trevor in terms of ‘audience insert’ and ‘nice guy’ and ‘hadn’t been completely traumatized by the start of the comic leading to mental breakdowns’, but rode along with the villains instead of the heroes. Poor thing ultimately ends up suffering more than Trevor though, for obvious reasons. It would have been cool to see someone actually learn how to be a zombie though; Sam and Jericho have been like that for years, and we missed Alaster’s adjustment period, but it would have been amusing to watch Eric slowly get used to it.

Also, he committed the biggest instance of ‘Nice job breaking it, hero’ in the whole comic. Way to revive King Law, Eric. Real smooth. Also very, very interesting in that he was one of the few that SIGVALDI found interesting. Eric’s likely up there on the list of cleverest characters, and I hope he’s doing ok after the end of Suppression.

Assorted Goons:

Grenner- I love this man. I draw him looking perpetually exhausted for a reason. He’s a very good man who blames himself for some very bad things, and while he outwardly holds himself together, is grasping at straws to figure out how to make things better. Is a man that’s plagued with guilt and also the actual plague, but has an INCREDIBLE mental fortitude- it’s been explained that perceiving one’s demonic infection as a separate entity is what kills you, but Dr.Grenner did that… and won. I also love his relationship with Iggy- once pretty good, now strained with Grenner trying very hard to put it back together. I’d really like to see them make up someday. (Iggy takes after his dad a lot tbh, loathe as he is to admit it.) ...Id also like to see Grenner show everyone Iggy’s baby pics. You know he’s got em somewhere.

Kolt- Noooooooo. Probably...my least favorite of the villains. Certainly the one I find the creepiest, for reasons I went over in my commentary with Sally, but also the one I found the least interesting in terms of characterization and backstory. Was really pleased to see his “death” and how he got repurposed into a different character, buuuut it’s less encouraging knowing he was going to come back. Please, you creepy bastard….just stay dead…..

Santris- Changing directions, one of my favorite villains. Unlike Nick, his small number of appearances works in his favor, considering he usually shows up during plot important moments, prodding things in one direction or another. This is a man who KNOWS things, and I love it. What is he up to? What’s his motivation? That’s all part of the intrigue. His power set links into this perfectly, which is to say he doesn’t really have one- he’s the only character that fights without magic or plague powers, leaving his real powers- if he has any- a mystery. There’s only one thing I feel fit to speculate on with this guy, and that’s the fact that he’s PROBABLY an elf, going by his eyes. Even that can’t be confirmed though, and makes things even more strange due to the fact that he seems to mostly work with humans, with little to no contact with Thal’nasia.

Azgrut- Another ‘not technically evil, just a victim of tragic circumstances’ character. Being murdered as a child, brought back as a zombie, and forced to build weapons or else be killed again doesn’t leave a guy with a lot of options. However, the weapons he’s building are his life’s work, and probably the only thing that brings him any real happiness or, failing that, satisfaction. It’s probably why he’s so protective of his work, and why he’s so pissy when anyone comes and bothers him. His magitech based fighting style is cool as heck to look at (And to compare/contrast with Trevor’s), and he has an EXCELLENT general aesthetic to him. Tron line zombie, hell yeah. Overall, his situation was even more miserable and ultimately hopeless than Sam’s, and I’m REALLY glad he got a happy ending. Though it’s a shame that because Arthur raised him, that means he’s still ultimately under control of the Wights, which was his whole goal with the phylactery thing. Wait. Azgrut’s still alive at the end. Which m…..FUCK. ARTHUR’S NOT DEAD, THE CAVE IN DIDN’T KILL HIM. I JUST FIGURED THAT OUT. FUCK

Maggie- Okokokok I’m cool, it’s cool. It’s cool. Arthur’s not dead, fine. I’ll just pretend he’s stuck under a rock somewhere, it’s fine. Ok, Maggie. She’s so. Fucking cool. So goddamn cool, I love her so much. I love her ease and sense of confidence, and the implication that she’s the one wearing the pants in her business relationship with Bartleby, even if the people they work with get the initial impression otherwise. She also probably wears the pants in their romantic relationship too. Which like, might not be a thing, not confirmed for canon, but it’s fun to think about. Also has a bitchin outfit, and the coolest ‘element’ out of everyone in the comic, I think. Gravity powers? There is so much room for shenanigans and cool fight scenes out of that. I’m really looking forward to seeing her in the new comic- judging from the number of stripes on her shoulder, she seems to be the boss in the reboot as well. Keep on rockin, girl.

Bartleby- Look. In almost every piece of media with a lot of villains, there’s always one brightly colored, egotistical and flamboyant one. I think for Suppression, Bartleby is that dude. I’m not even kidding- if you look at the big reference sheet of Suppression characters on Degulus’s Deviantart, there’s only 3 patches of bright color and those are Overload Charlie, Azgrut, and Bartleby. However, unlike other villains of that type, where their biggest flaw is their sense of pride, Bartleby’s motive is that Thal’nasia isn’t proud ENOUGH. He believes that elves are genuinely better than humans, but aren’t acting like it, and that needs to be fixed immediately, by way of violent take over of the government. That is a DELIGHTFUL motivation to have. I’m aware that a lot of Suppression’s villains match up with the seven deadly sins (though it’s not too strictly enforced), and envy is a hard one to pull off. However, Bartleby does it and does it well! (Side note: love this dude’s outfit, and double love the fact that he’s the only character who’s teeth you see on a regular basis… where those teeth aren’t sharp. That’s wonderfully unnerving. A+. )

Tyburn- This dude’s more of an honorable mention because he never actually shows up. You only hear about him in passing, so there’s not a LOT for me to say. It’s some hilarious irony that Azgrut doesn’t know what happened after he died (and neither does Iggy for that matter) so he just lists the completely wrong generals and Iggy just essentially nods and goes “Sounds legit.”. I feel like there’s a lot of mysteries around Tyburn though… like I said, we never see him, so who WAS this guy? Why did he defect? (Is he secretly still alive…?) However, the Blood Red Rebellion seems like it was pretty much a feature exclusive to the original comic, so we’re not likely to get anymore info. I’m fine with that tbh- not everything has to be explained to death. Sometimes a dude is just a dude.

Lexi- First of all. Love this girl’s aesthetic. The cropped haircut? The >:3c face? The goggles? The outfit? Yes, yes, and yes. She’s also the only character in the comic that has a very… ‘big sister’ sort of feel to her. Really she’s just an overworked babysitter who got handed a kid that she is in no way equipped to handle, but she’s doing her best to not mess him up too bad regardless. I get the feeling that she’s a dumb kid who was asked “Hey you wanna do some Villainy (™) “ and she was totally down for it before realizing much too late that. Villainy is not as fun as you’d think and ESPECIALLY not when you’re the replaceable mook.

Junior- Hhhh I love this boy. Look, I love art and drawing. I also love robots n stuff in media. I also have Aspergers, and so I have a tendencies towards anxiety, seeming ‘odd’ to other people, being baffled in situations that others would find normal, and obsessing over certain topics. As a result, those who have seen Junior can see why I love this child so so much. It can be kind of embarrassing to admit it, but I see a lot of myself in this character. I’m glad that he has someone that “gets” him and is looking out for his best interests (you rock, Alaster). We don’t really find out what happened to him, Lexi, Alaster and Maggie after the comic, but I like to think that they all got out ok and are just chilling out there somewhere.

Wight Family

Maxwell- Stern, serious, imposing heads of families are relatively common villains, and it’s pretty easy for it to become a boring, flat stereotype; for a character to become nothing more than, essentially, a villainous rock. Max is not this. Max is trying very hard to be this, but doesn’t always measure up, and that is infinitely more interesting than the evil boulder archetype. His character profile straight up says that he’s only trying to be cool and collected. In reality, he’s surrounded by (what he considers) idiots and is trying very hard to keep this show on the road, and his facade of dignity isn’t nearly as impregnable as he thinks. I love the idea of a cold, collected villain going from complex swordplay to an undignified bar brawl the moment he thinks no one’s looking. Just “Fuck it, fine, I’ll do this the easy way. This idiot doesn’t deserve me at my best anyway.” Unfortunately, while his character is very fun to read, the downfall of having a character that doesn’t go into villainous monologues...means that he never explains his evil plans. Which means I’m STILL not really sure… what it was he was trying to DO. Most of my ideas come from Degulus’s explanations in the comments, which is uhhh probably not the best way to communicate that to one’s audience. I’m pretty sure he was planning on altering the course of the leyline to change the laws of nature, and then controlling the world as an immortal zombie but… trusting Arthur to manage that? Yikes. Maybe not the best plan buddy, but you tried your best.

Arthur- Ohhh this bastard. Who is apparently still alive/undead. This bastard… is actually one of my most favorite characters. Like, irrevocably top 5 (I could never pick a #1, but he’s up there). He is an absolutely terrible person. Lazy and cowardly, but in a way that is loathable and malicious instead of sympathetic. Doesn’t seem to think highly of himself, but...doesn’t seem to have a high opinion of anyone else either. Killed his own kids. Killed his brother (s...sort of. It wasn’t very clear.). And today I figured out he didn’t even get comeuppance for it. (Unless, of course, he’s just trapped under a rock in a caved in cave for all eternity with his phylactery sitting on a desk somewhere. That’s kind of hilarious.) However… despite all that, he is an incredibly fun character to hate. His dialogue and reactions were always funny to read, and there’s something about his desire to just lie down and do nothing that appeals to everyone, I think. In a way, he’s similar to an audience insert or ‘straight man’- the one that says “You realize this plan is stupid and never going to work, right.” and is promptly ignored. In summary, terrible person, HORRENDOUS father, but a GREAT character.

William- Ok technically not a person, but will still be giving commentary. A golem made of souls is an amazingly clever concept, though probably my most favorite part of William is getting to describe him as a “sack of angry ghosts” to my friends. It’s interesting how William appears to be at least partially sentient though- either that collection of souls does have some hivemind sort of consciousness, or that’s some faaaancy spell coding on Sigvaldi’s part. However, due to the fact that he’s a juggernaut superweapon of necromancy, he’s less a character and more a...almost environmental hazard that the characters have to work around. A unique and interesting superweapon that was a blast to read about how they worked around him, but… doesn’t leave me a lot to talk about in terms of character commentary.

Jericho- Ah, the poor narratively-proclaimed D-list villain. Nobody really likes him. Got waylaid by the events of the story, and as a result never did anything of much significance, but it was lampshaded and he later got a huge upgrade. I feel like that matches his personality quite well though. He takes after his dad a lot more than he’d like to admit; he has pride in being undead, and as a member of the Wight family, expects everyone to cower before him… and it’s really funny to watch how frustrated he gets when people don’t immediately do that. I think the combo with Kolt was a good idea; it gave him a much needed power boost and source of intrigue, being a possessed zombie. I was also really interested in seeing where his relationship with Iggy and Azgrut was gonna go! On an unrelated note though...I found out the other day that he’s only 2 years older than Samantha. However, Samantha’s backstory showed that she died as a little girl, and I thought it was implied by the “go get your brother” comment that Jericho died shortly after… but that would make Jericho have the body of a young teen/preteen at most. Sooo I guess that either wasn’t the day Jericho died and Arthur wanted him for something else, or acid zombies can age. Hmmm.

(PS. If Alastair calls Samantha Sam and Meredith Merry, does that mean he calls Jericho Jerry? Because if so, that’s hilarious.)

Samantha- The undying voice of nihilism, in a travel sized package. Sam didn’t get a huge role or a ton of appearances, but she’s one of the few who got what I considered a complete character arc. She had a problem, finally admitted that problem, got assistance with the problem and got her comeuppance. Her story was sad, but god if that didn’t make it all the more satisfying watching Arthur get thrown around like a toy by King Law. You could almost hear the squeaky toy sounds.

Alaster- I have a lot of respect for this guy. In the beginning of the story, he comes off as one of those mysterious, unhinged villains that gives a dramatic speech and then vanishes. However, the course of the story revealed layers of personality and backstory that made me genuinely feel for this guy. He’s proud to be a Wight, but somewhat paradoxically hates his family- this later turns out to be because his dad and uncle are terrible people, even to their own children, and he’s trying to actually create something resembling a “family” instead of...well, a soul-drowning pit of misery. He’s trying to make the Wight family a better place for the members of his generation. He’s trying to be a good brother, a good role model, and is friendly to Sam even though she doesn’t seem to want his kindness. He doesn’t mind though, he gets it. It’s so nice to see the younger members of “villain” half of the cast have someone in their corner willing to throw down for them no matter what. Alaster is an A+ older brother, A+ babysitter, and honestly probably would have made a good dad if he ever got the chance. Well, except for the ‘teaching kids how to murder’ part. But that’s just a traditional part of Wight education, I can give that the slip.

Meredith- My first thought upon seeing Meredith was “Oh my god she’s adorable.” Since then, my opinion has not changed in the slightest. She’s like Sabrina the Teenage Witch but evil. She wants to make a team of US presidents with chainsaw arms. I want to SEE her make a team of US presidents with chainsaw arms. Honestly, she’s a breath of fresh air in the Wight team. She’s good at her job, but young and enthusiastic. After so many dreary, depressed, gothass villains, it’s nice to see one that’s a straight up ray of bubbly sunshine who also wants to rip out your soul and use you as her cute lil familiar. I bet she can ride that scythe like a broomstick. She’s got the wind powers, it could work. The sad part is though is that...while the old Wights might have survived the cave in, and Arthur definitely survived, Meredith was the only one in the room who wasn’t undead or a lich which means she’s probably. Permadead by the end of the comi- AW FUCK THAT MEANS ALASTER’S DEAD TOO. AUUUGH. Oh fffuck I hope Alaster managed to get Junior back home before he just. Dropped dead next to him.

King Law- Unlike Max, this guy is a lot closer to the “villainous rock” stereotype; he even has an elemental affinity to Earth! While I find him a little more boring than Max though, I’m still drawn to him by his bitchin character design, and intriguing sense of ethics; he honestly has some good points on the nature of goodness and the fact that having a sense of right and wrong is worthless if “right” isn’t being defended. He seems to be the concept of “lawful evil” taken to a reasonable endpoint, whereas Sigvaldi would be the “chaotic” end of the scale.

Nora- Ohhh yes that’s the ticket. This is exactly what I wanted. It’s implied that...terrible things happened to the Wight kids’ mothers. (Ok they’re not really kids but you get what I mean.) However, that leaves a very obvious dearth of Wight ladies, leaving me with a hankering for more. Nora hits that spot so well. She’s elegant, refined, but also has a giant, badass fuckin’ sword (ok well she is the sword but still), and will happily kick the crap out of everyone that messes with her family, despite the drama. Is there a ton of depth and backstory? Nah, she was there for like...10 pages and died (thanks, Charlie), but her very existence is a much needed breath of fresh air. Also I need to draw her in a bunch of fancy outfits starting, like. Now.

Sigvaldi- So, I got one of my friends to read the reboot with me entirely on the off chance that Sigvaldi shows up in it based on the few snippets of the old comic that I showed him, so that certainly speaks wonders for Sigvaldi’s character. Granted, it’s mostly because he’s a lich and this friend loves those, but my point stands. Sigvaldi is great. I love characters with a unique worldview and sense of morality, and Sigvaldi is no exception. He is well aware that he creates monsters and commits sins against the laws of nature, and accepts this...what he truly loathes is those who do monstrous things and try to make it look like justice. Now THATS interesting. I also just generally enjoy his omniscient observer role in the story, popping up to give warnings and make predictions. I should also talk about the end of Suppression, while I’m talking about him, specifically those mysterious voices who’s ranks he joined at the end of the story… I’m not sure who they are, but I sure as hell cant wait to find out! I have a few guesses, but 0 evidence, so I’m gonna hold those cards close to my chest for now.

Other Characters

These guys diiiidn’t get a lot of screentime and also I’m feeling really crappy and sick right now so I might not have a lot to say, sorry.

Figaro- An elf with a BEARD. So good. I like how self aware he is about the nature of his job, and how light hearted he stays about it all. Sometimes, your coworkers are incredibly powerful mages that can control the very forces of nature themselves. And sometimes they’re idiots. And sometimes they’re both at the same time and you just kinda gotta roll with it.

Coin- Had pretty much just one conversation so I don’t have a lot to say about this guy. I like his near-naive dedication to heroics and justice though. That can be interesting in done right, especially if it’s from a character who isn’t actually naive and is instead willing to fight for that ideal. I actually find his family more interesting- he has a last name that’s been mentioned a couple times in different contexts. His family certainly gets around, huh?

Mara- Probably my favorite of the elves. I can understand both sides of peoples opinions of her. On one hand, she’s absolutely a child soldier. There’s definite negative effects to this that she straight up doesn’t have the experience or maturity to understand completely, and even though this frustrates her, the people claiming it are absolutely right. However, I can also understand her desire to be taken seriously as a person, the difficulty in repairing the good name of the Red part of the army, and the massive pressure on her as the last remaining heiress of the Kuin family. She’s got a lot of weight on her, and while I want to see her do well… I also wish she had the opportunity to. Well, be a dumb teenager. Very interesting character, but also very specific to the pre-reboot continuity, so I’m not sure what’s going to happen to her now.

Phylo- This is also a reaaaally good one. I love how much care was taken to write his disabilities- he’s competent and well respected, but his missing arm and blindness are taken into account and addressed reasonably. I especially loved how he has to take his arm off during the winter because of the chill that creeps up it- that shows a lot of thought put in, that not a lot of other comics would. A+ writing on that front. Normally I don’t think I’d like his grumpy, but still managing to brag sort of personality, but in this case I think it works because the other characters mentioned that he was the grumpy one; his behavior isn’t treated by the narrative as being a good thing.

Kevin- Admittedly not a huge fan of this guy. I mean he’s ok, I liked the kamen rider leystone power suit, that’s cool. And granted, we might not have gotten the best introduction to him, considering he was exhausted and it was the middle of the night when we met him. But overall, he seemed to me to be a guy where people kept saying that “he was a nice guy, really” despite being whiny and aggressive the whole time. He kept acting really distrustful, but none of his protestations really affected the plot, so I just spent most of the time waiting to move on from this guy. I get the feeling I also would like him more if I watched any episodes of Kamen Rider, as there’s supposed to be a lot of similarities buuuut I haven’t, so. Still, he’s supposed to be getting a lot of focus in the reboot, so hopefully he’ll be able to stand up on his own virtues.

Roni- Noooot a lot to say about this one. I’m interested in seeing what animal-based life magic looks like in practice though. Plant life magic is easy enough, it’s just plants, but is animal husbandry magic like...being able to control/talk to animals? Or is it kind of horrifying fleshcrafting. I also didn’t think she and Cerene were that similar, but I’m still looking forward to the sister relationship they’ll have! (I’ve also always wondered if that promised hang session with her and Cerene was going to lead up to a meeting and confrontation with Lexi… that would have been interesting.)

Torblad and Esra- Wasn’t a huge fan of these two either. I’m not sure if Torblad was just pretending to have gone crazy, or if he was supposed to actually have some sort of illness from his time travel shenanigans, but overall it just felt weird to me. The tone of his ‘prophecies’ was so different from the rest of the comic that I thought he was a one off joke character or a cameo of some other thing (like how Kirk was a character who was originally from a MSPA fanventure, I thought Torblad was a character from the original RP a lot of the elf characters came from that was going to be a tip of the hat one-off, tonally inconsistent cameo and then we’d more on.). Imagine my surprise when he ended up being responsible for the end of the comic! With Cerene’s help, of course. Overall, he just seems...out of place to me. With the rest of the cast being written well enough in terms of physical disabilities, the effects of trauma, and mental illness, Torblad’s sort of… lolrandom sort of craziness feels cut from a different cloth. I don’t even really have anything to say about Esra- she seems to be there pretty much entirely to interpret for Torblad, soooo I got nothing. Sorry, Esra.

Solstice- Aw yeah, there’s the good stuff. Take this with a grain of salt though; I’m not entirely sure if I’m interpreting her backstory correctly, as we only got bits and pieces of it. She was an excellent introduction to how much things were going to change for our “heroes” when they walked into Thal’nasia- instead of snarky comments and scuffles, they got someone that was spooked, shy, and wondering why the hell they were there in the middle of the night. She’s a bit awkward, but seems friendly and genuine; a much needed change of pace and a breath of fresh air. However, the story is quick to give her more depth than that. She used to be a lot sadder, a lot angrier, a lot more aggressive, and it’s taken time and effort to recover from that. She has a useful, unique worldview due to her golden aura color, but is estranged from society due to her differences and her odd personality as a result. And yet… she’s still become a kind person, with a helpful personality, and I have a lot of respect for that. It’s one thing to become a snarling badass in the face of adversity. That’s cool, and I like that too. Hell yeah, punch those who hurt you. But something we don’t get to see a lot is people recovering, getting better, realizing that while that aggression helped them at the time, it can become self destructive. It’s really nice to see a character that shows that stronger isn’t the be all, end all solution to one’s problems. (Though she could probably still kick your ass if she wanted to. Just sayin.)

#suppression #text post #commentary #oh god im so sick right now but at least it's done

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lattetimes · 7 years

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So How About Them New Episodes, Ammirite Ladies??

here’s what i thought of the new episodes via live reactions as i watching them!

overall, it was kinda underwhelming but there were parts that i really did like! and if you liked these episodes, that’s awesome!

MAYOR DEWEY WINS

was this title a reference to the movie/book John Dies at the End, cause if so then i’m shocked i caught that

apparently it is, would you look at that. btw i kinda liked the movie.

damn, Sadie took this hard. and Steven never told Lars’ parents. so i guess Sadie has to do that herself.

why tf does Steven care if Dewey wins?!

OH, IT’S BECAUSE HE DON’T WANT SHIT TO CHANGE AND HE THINKS HAVING A NEW MAYOR WOULD BE BAD WTF DEWEY DOES NOTHING

ok wow, there’s only 24 people in Beach City and he never noticed that Lars was gone!?

“is that why the donut shop was closed?”

“we’ll hire a new donut boy!” DEWEY. DUDE. ARE YOU FOR REAL?!

“high school mayor” lmao

how did he run unopposed for 10 years!?

LARS’ MOM KEEPS A SHITTON OF TOMATOES IN HER PURSE SHE READY TO THROW DOWN ALL THE TIME

i don’t like that Steven is so adamant on Dewey winning.

jesus, Steven, let Nanefua win. she’s obviously the better person for the job

“i’m done pointing my finger at you, and now i direct all my fingers on both my hands to the citizens” top 10 anime deaths

NANEFUA WINS, OH MY GOD YES

STEVEN, DUDE, REALLY?! LEAVE CONNIE ALONE!

“i don’t know what you’re talking about, but i need to get a new job” 2018 mood tbh

episode rating: 2 tomatoes out of 5. i can’t stand Steven in this episode at all. but hey, NANEFUA WON!!!!!!

RAISING THE BARN

....was Lapis’ main concern that Steven dropped his phone on Homeworld? not the fact that he was... idk... ON HOMEWORLD?!

ok Lapis is ready to bail immediately and tbh i dont blame her

did she just uproot the entire bard wtf?!

BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!

episode rating: 1.5 barns out of 5. BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!

GEMCATION

^ mfw Amethyst basically spat an egg out her mouth (it was kinda gross)

well. Greg got some kinda house.... still don’t get why the crew is so against having Greg get a house

also, where’s Peridot?

“remove all shoes before entering” Pearl fucking THROWS A RANDOM ASS PAIR OF SHOES

OKAY PEARL SCREAMING “PARTY GUY, NO!” WAS ACTUALLY KINDA FUNNY

S H O W M E P A R T Y G U Y Y O U C O W A R D S

“Steven, you should join me. become a raisin” ok Garnet

did. did Steven completely cut Garnet off as she was talking about Pink Diamond and the Gem War with the whole, “yeah, yeah, i get it, Mom. i already heard this story” kinda thing? B R U H that ain’t okay

AND GARNET JUST SHUTS UP AND WAS LIKE “good, you understand”

PEARL WAS GONNA STRAIGHT UP ADMIT TO SOME HUGE THING AFTER HER “THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN” LINE AND HE CUTS HER OFF WITH “CONNIE HATES ME”

WHY COULDN’T STEVEN AT LEAST TELL THESE FOUR THAT HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT CONNIE HATING HIM?!

I’M KINDA GETTING SICK OF SEEING STEVEN MOPE LIKE THIS FOR 3 EPISODES STRAIGHT AND I HOPE HE DOESN’T KEEP THIS UP FOR THE NEXT 2

OH NO, PLEASE DISREGARD ALL OF THE MESSED UP THINGS YOU SAW ON HOMEWORLD CAUSE CONNIE IS (rightfully) UPSET WITH YOU. LARS D I E D.

GUITAR DAD SAVES THE DAY

i love Greg Universe

how would you not notice if you aren’t getting any service on your phone? your phone tells you when you’re getting service or not

bruh you almost made your dad drive off a cliff for you to get phone service

Greg Universe is a ride or die kinda guy

this ending shot is cute, i’ll give you that.

episode rating: 2 party guys out of 5. Party Guy should’ve bitten Steven’s phone and his shit attitude. also PEARL WTF ARE YOU TELL US ALREADY

BACK TO THE KINDERGARTEN

Connie i miss you

“of the three things i have to do in the sink now, this is the one i least mind you seeing” B R U H

Peridot listens to country music, this is disgusting

HOLY SHIT AMETHYST IS TOSSIN’ PERIDOT AROUND LIKE SHE WEIGHS NOTHING AND I’M CRACKING UP

“can i bring my music?” “NO.” damn Amethyst you already threw Peri around like she ain’t nothin’, let her bring her music if it’ll help her

aaaay, they’re in the train again!

dang, Peri really loved the barn.

i kinda like that Amethyst is going around trying to figure out which member of the Famethyst came out of which part of the Kindergarten. kinda cute.

so everything is seriously determined by the nutrition, right down to the style of a Gem’s hair? ...huh. iron deposits determine hair styles.

damn, Peri went with a sucker punch to the gut with her little speech about how Kindergartens kill off life and are just “lifeless husks” once all the Gems are done being formed. and Amethyst feels awful about it, dang.

ok. there’s a flower growin’ in the Kindergarten, and that should technically be impossible due to all of the nutrients in this one area being used up. this could be interesting.

ok, so now the trio is gonna farm & see what happens. ok, ok, i can roll with this i guess.

FARMING MONTAGE

look at them flowers

they proud

don’t make Peri live here

why the flamingo thingy taller than both of them

gods i didn’t need to see Steven happily showering

they’re talking about how the flowers are probs gonna look beautiful i bet they all died, they’re too positive about this. $5 them flowers are dead.

them flowers are dead,

...now they’re arguing, cause Peri blew up on them. alright. this ain’t good.

aaaaaaaaaaaand Peri crushed the original flower that grew here. both Steven & Amethyst made pained whimpers. ok. this ain’t good.

oh it’s a Gem creature- haven’t seen one of those in a while!

IT ATE PERIDOT HOLY FUCK

SMOKEY QUARTZ IS BACK

ngl i like Smokey’s theme music

btw there’s no dialogue from Smokey, just a quick 2 second thing

Peri doesn’t reform with a star on her

ok, that was kinda cute. and having a technician that also likes gardening is cute too

episode rating: 3.5 dead sunflowers outta 5. it was an okay episode & i did like it.

SADIE KILLER

heh, i get it. cause lady killer.

oh god, that looks bad

WHY IS THAT MOP SO BIG

instead of reading off a long-ass list to the overly worked employee, just hand Sadie the list so she won’t fuck up?

“and a coffee. hold the coffee.” same tbh

oh. he’s in a band with the Cool Kids. WE GET TO SEE THE COOL KIDS!

“...i hope he [Lars] is safe and all, but working all these shifts by myself has been a huge drag” GIRL, LARS DIED IN SPACE AND IS STILL THERE

Steven stealing all the napkins is something i’d do tbh

man, i love the Cool Kids

is my girl Jenny rockin’ the bass? aaaaaaaaaaay!

Sour Cream, what the HECK IS RAP-A-BILLY?

“Doo-doo. Butt. The government corrupts” Buck is the voice of this generation

welcome to EB Games

they... they admitted to following her home from work....

“doo-doo. i think i broke your bed” Buck wtf

also, i guess them watching all of Sadie’s horror movies gave them inspiration to do that weird donut-brain-eating song. weird.

“we are the working dead, and we lurch for minimum wage” same Sadie

......ok, she’s freaking everyone out. and they look uncomfortable. Sadie, seriously stop. they’re concerned.

...she. put lipstick on her eyes.

see, if she wasn’t freakin’ everyone out with this, i’d say this song is a bop.

ok they’re fine now & thought it was lit ok cool cool cool. i ain’t a big fan of the lyrics tbh, but i do like the song.

“aww, doo-doo”

ok so Steven’s askin’ for advice on how to write horror-themed songs from Sadie. how about LARS DIED ON HOMEWORLD

SADIE’S ADVICE IS:

LOSE YOUR LIFE TO A BORING JOB

LOSE THE ONE PERSON YOU WERE CLOSE TO

LOSE YOUR MIND WORKIN A TON OF SHIFTS

GIRL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Steven puttin’ Sadie on blast, good lord he just sang an accidental roast tryin’ to sing shit like she does

HE STOLE ALL THE NAPKINS AGAIN

“you can’t help being cute no more than i can help being cool” Buck, you’re a blessing

“yoooooo, what if this is all a dream?” Buck, wtf?

oh. Sadie’s goin’ with them. okay.

OH. SHE QUIT HER JOB. UM. OKAY?

episode rating: 3 funky riffs out of 5. Buck Dewey is great.

KEVIN PARTY

I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THIS EPISODE, BUT IMMA DO IT ANYWAY

DIDN’T EVEN START THE EPISODE AND I STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

let’s just get this over with...

why’d Steven wait this long to track down Lion?!

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, here he is......

gods, i still hate him

stop being gross to kids, leave Steven and Connie alone ya freak

at least he knows they use they/them pronouns.

how did he find out where Connie is? doesn’t she live far away from Beach City? did he track down these two kids just to “invite” Stevonnie?!

“no one turns down an invitation to a Kevin party” i sure as fuck would

lmao Kevin has an old phone

“your name’s Steven? weird, i thought your name was Clarence” OI, DON’T INSULT CLARENCE LIKE THAT

rude, Steven brought snacks and ya just toss ‘em into the void?

ok. he’s creepily obsessed with Stevonnie cause apparently they make parties and shit like that hella fun. um. stop? being obsessed with kids??

WTF WHY IS LION AT THE PARTY

Connie actually showed up. and had Lion the entire time. that’s. super fucked up. Lion is the ONLY way to get to Lars directly!

and also, there’s TWO KIDS AT A PARTY WITH OLDER PEOPLE?! NO ONE BUT DERRICK QUESTIONS THIS?

Kevin’s gonna try to get them to talk to each other... so they can form Stevonnie... so his party won’t suck...

also, he keeps calling them 7-year-olds........ siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, ok Kevin.

KEVIN YOU IDIOT LET THEM TALK TO EACH OTHER SO HE CAN SAY SORRY DON’T GIVE HIM YOUR “COOL GUY” BULLSHIT

“i need those old people to whisper my name when they die” tbh goals

“who’s Sabina?” Kevin got all red in the face and almost lost his cool

so Kevin’s gonna try to make Steven look like he’s moved on from Connie or some shit. this won’t end well.

NO, NOT DERRICK’S JACKET

now we get a montage of 2 kids being uncomfortable surrounded by older people at a party they should’t be at, ok.

at least Connie looks cute. and she got a haircut! so cute!

NOT CUTE NOT CUTE NOT CUTE

GOD, I HATE KEVIN

Steven, what are you doing?

STEVEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ok, quick recap cause i didn’t mention this: Kevin thought Steven & Connie were dating, so, Connie only went to the party to see if Steven’s okay and if they could talk. Steven decided to follow Kevin’s advice for some reason, and Connie thinks Steve’s new BFF is Kevin, and Kevin has no concept of what friends are.

so. Connie didn’t text Steven cause she preferred talking face to face about this, and that texting him wasn’t good enough to work out these issues. very fair point. still don’t get why you legit stole Lion from him, but the not texting back thing makes complete sense.

ok, she rode Lion to his house while Steven, Greg & the Gems were away (the episode Gemcation). and that’s when she bumped into Kevin and got the invite. ok. now Kevin is slightly less creepy, but still disgusting nonetheless.

oh, yay! they’re talking it out! and Steven isn’t disregarding Connie’s anger!

yay! they’re friends again!

don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie.

LMAO GET FUCKED, KEVIN, THEY AIN’T FORMIN’ STEVONNIE

episode rating: 1 Lion out of 5. least fave episode, tbh. but hey, we got Connie back!

#su spoilers #su leaks #su criticism #su critical #spilled latte

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