#he lacks the perspective of the people who lack his perspective
Note
which one’s toshiro and whys he autistic?
[ID: full body colored illustration of toshiro from the dungeon meshi manga. /End ID]
THIS FREAKIN GUY!!!! anyway
[ID: anonymous tumblr ask: "would def love to hear ur autistic shuro thoughts". /End ID]
awesome. rant under the cut because it will be long
So before we understand why Toshiro is the way he is we must first understand two things abt him:
1. his household situation is a very traditional clan of warriors type situation. his father is very strict and he left his homeland to go to the Island and explore the dungeon to train and become a warrior to be someone suited as the family head
2. Eastern and Western cultures of respect/propriety are different, and Ryoko Kui highlights it well even in her fantasy world.
With that in mind, heres some bullet point rapid fire thoughts that consume my current state of dunmeshi brain:
Toshiro has an avoidant personality. He fears upsetting others due to his upbringing, and rarely tells others how he feels not because he thinks they would simply understand him but because he doesn't want to seem rude and imposing / cause offense to others especially since he's not in his own homeland / hes a foreigner that should respect the land's customs, not his own wishes.
Setting boundaries is hard for everyone, but especially autistic (and some other ND, like those with Avoidant Personality Disorder) people. Those with ASD, at least in my experience, don't want to be isolated from others. So they mask.
They mask what? their desires. their true selves. their opinions. their discomfort. all for the sake of pleasing others (who are often neurotypical)
With that in mind, suddenly, what Maizuru said abt him as a child makes sense. Due to his strict upbringing, Toshiro had to more or less hide his preferences and force himself to adapt to the rigid constraints of his culture and the pressure to be the next family head, this responsibility is his burden to bear and he cannot be someone who expresses his selfish desires instead of focusing on being a strong warrior and leader
"Why did he say he hate Laios and that it should've been obvious that he disliked/found Laios' treatment of him uncomfortable??" BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS. I'm not going to write off Laios' autism/autistic coding, but its baffling (note: definitely racism and bias for white autistic ppl) to me that a lot of ppl don't see Toshiro's perspective and straight up ignores it. This is a lack of wanting to be rude by speaking up that is based on culture difference on Toshiro's part, and straight up ignorant of his microagressions/racism and lack of self awareness on Laios' end. They were both right, they were both wrong too. This is a complicated conflict that cannot be boiled down to simple ableist/the NT vs ND divide. There's something called . intersectionality. Which brings me to the next point
Toshiro never actually hated Laios. He found him uncomfortable, yes. But he didn't /hate/ him, he was speaking out because he's had enough!!! he's done tolerating Laios' racist bullshit, and he's done following the arbitrary Eastern rules of respecting others and not being rude!!! He. Wants. Laios. To Understand. What. He. Was. Feeling. Because he just had enough!!!!! alright!!! he's at his limit hes at his breaking point, the one he loves is now probably beyond saving, and this is a good time as any to break the news to Laios that he thinks that Laios is impulsive and doesn't fully understand how his actions have consequences!!! Hes right abt this. His feelings on this is valid, just as valid as Laios'
General autistic traits I find from Toshiro: his admiration of Falin's indifference towards insects ("woah shes so brave and gentle!! just like me, fr!!!"), His lack of regard for his own needs and wants (needing to sleep and eat and drink) because he was super focused on saving Falin, His lack of like drastic expression changes, his discomfort with physical touch when it's initiated without consent (see: Laios hugging ppl extra bonus art by Ryoko Kui), his manner of like speaking short and concise, people pleasing tendencies, his like quick way of combat, rule upholder/routine following enjoyer, he seems distant from others even those he consider family not cuz of like any terrible reason but hes just. someone who enjoys his own time alone like. yeah
aannnnndd. thats abt it? i think.
Big part of this is definitely me relating to Shiro as an Asian (specifically chinese indonesian) person who is probably Autistic lmao. I hope this brings more insight on why Toshiro is actually one of the silliest and epiccest dunmeshi characters ever I love him
#asks#dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#dunmeshi#L 👁️🗨️🌫️ !#shuro dunmeshi#(help)#idk if he has tags. does he have fans here. pls say he does
213 notes
·
View notes
Text
Boys Be Brave Eps 1 & 2 Stray Thoughts
I've been anticipating this one. Roommates romance from the director of Our Dating Sim.
Episode 1: Anxious to Say I Like You
Interesting. We're starting at Christmas.
Oh boy, our protagonist is a perfectionist who has convinced himself he's single purely by choice.
Hold on. I'm with Kim Jin Woo on this rush home and freakout if Jeong Gi Seop is squatting. What's with the flashes of cute photos? Do they know each other well?
Oh, I see. Kim Jin Woo is gay for Jeong Gi Seop and hasn't said anything before.
So, Jeong Gi Seop is definitely a squatter, but just crashing with an old friend for a month before a major move is far more reasonable.
Damn, this guy lacks a real appreciation for how his blasé attitude impacts people he's with.
Curious. How has Jeong Gi Seop knowing Kim Jin Woo likes him affected his previous behavior as a player?
Oh ho! Jeong Gi Seop just said it out loud!
I'm glad Kim Jin Woo didn't lie, and am glad we're moving quickly. I gotta know what Jeong Gi Seop wants out of this, because he seems flaky from Jin Woo's perspective when it comes to romances.
Episode 2: Finding Your Type
Viki is getting on my nerves. Making me put in my PIN because this is rated R means they better do more than just be pretty and smile at each other in this.
Oh, good! We're going to explore the interiority of Jeong Gi Seop and why he says yes to everyone.
Okay! He's drawn to Kim Jin Woo's isolationist nature and ability to say no all the time. I appreciate that he could see Kim Jin Woo mooning over him the whole time, and was curious why he wouldn't say no. Still, as a formerly closeted person, I have a lot of easy answers to that, which may place this show in the bubble.
Kim Jin Woo said he's not like other girls. 🙄
He let that man be cold all night because he thought he was lying. I feel you on having someone barrel past your boundaries, Jin Woo, but we can't be that bad of a host. Once you let him stay you had to do your best for basic comfort.
Gi Seop, how have you made friends this whole time?
Don't read that man's diary!!
What sort of agreement can these two make when Gi Seop keeps ignoring Jin Woo saying no?
Incredible. This Ji In Ho guy shows up at the very end to initiate his own rushing past lines plot as well.
I am intrigued! This started off differently from what I expected, but I'm excited to see what this show pulls out of these two boys on opposite ends of the spectrum. I will have to do some thinking about Kim Jin Woo, because I panicked for a bit with him when Gi Seop called out that Jin Woo liked him.
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've seen the same post a hundred times now. Sometimes it's a few days old, sometimes it's from years ago, but it's always the same. Some anti posts about how they don't understand how anyone can like Snape because he was so awful, and then there's a long reply that goes something like, "imagine this happens to you, and then this, and then this" to describe Snape's experience. Sometimes there's some James Potter hate thrown in.
Look. You can go through describing a character's entire experience but you don't really need to. Here's the thing that antis don't understand:
For all her faults (and they're big, bigoted ones) Rowling understood a really integral part of the human experience and conveyed it through Snape. Everyone needs love and to feel accepted. It's that simple. Snape became a Death Eater to seek acceptance (Rowling has confirmed this, though I can't remember the source - whoever wants to add it please do), because it was the only way he could find any.
Snape's understanding of morality, like everyone's, is subjective. Some readers understand this and some don't. When faced against a morality that says there is good and bad in the world, everyone makes choices based on their personal experience. Context is everything. Someone who experiences pain and suffering will not see the person inflicting it on them as moral. That's it. 'How can this person be good when they caused me so much suffering?' = human psychology. Most of the people who think 'I'm a bad person and deserve this' have been gaslit and abused into thinking so, because it's not a natural reaction - it's one that has to often be socialized into someone at a young age, exactly because it's not natural. Everyone is the hero of their own story; no one sees themselves as a villain, because they see the valid aspects of their own perspective.
You can write essays on how vulnerable people needing acceptance is what cults and fascists exploit to recruit vulnerable people, or on how the standard anti's un-nuanced reading of Snape both ignores canon and displays a disturbing lack of empathy or compassion, but at its core it just boils down to context. From Snape's perspective he experienced cruelty, therefore the people inflicting it must be cruel. Again, it's that simple. He was a person, like any other, except he was fictional so he wasn't even real. On the flip side is James Potter, who, for all his faults, didn't get to live long enough to get a chance to change and grow unlike Snape, and I think the Snapedom also needs to acknowledge that.
They're fictional characters representing things an author wants to say, not sports teams, not martyrs, and not all good or all bad emblems that define your identity depending on how you feel about them. It's depressing how much time is wasted arguing with bullies and trolls whether from the Marauders fandom or just random antis. I literally can't find more than three blogs to follow without this argument coming across my feed daily. I know the Snapedom is Not OK™ and that's kind why we're all here, and I know that my take is super unpopular but like Snape, I don't care what others think: this fandom has been having the exact same argument for years and nothing has changed. There's fanart and meta and fic and so much content out there appreciating this character, you're not going to change an anti's mind who's deliberately trolling in the tags, so why are you trying? What are you getting out of it? What does it give you? It's exhausting just scrolling past it.
#The thing about morality is that it's subjective#the religious leader who's a beacon of moral purity to their congregation#is a source of selfishness and pain to someone they abuse in secret#is that abuse victim immoral for rejecting the values the religious leader represents?#the congregation might think so because their definition of morality relies on the religious leader being a moral guide#the victim might not think so though because how can something be righteous if it causes suffering#look this is just an example of how perspectives can vary and I know there are more possible takes on that example#my point is that the idea that there's no clear 'good' and 'evil' there's only power/what you do with it is actually how psychology works#'good' to one person can be pain to another#'scourgify' is an innocuous household spell that cleans stains until it's used to waterboard someone#context matters more than labels like 'light' and 'dark' magic
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
I will never shut up about how Kingdom Come: Deliverance is the most tenderly written game served to the most loutish horde of jackasses. I think it is possibly one of the greatest pieces of popular fiction made about feudalism in recent history, even if it's not always the most historically accurate.
And that's because the whole damn thing is about the profound, authority-enforced inhumanity that self-propels feudal order... but this time, it's written from the perspective of, for lack of better word, "humanity undermines, and humanity wins."
Love wins, if you want to be cheeky.
This was originally meant to be a reply to @feelinungry's excellent post on the subject, but it outgrew itself and got super bloated, so I'm plopping it in its own post to not be obnoxious...
KINGDOM COME: DELIVERANCE MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW
And the reason all this about humanity and love is so important to the core of the story, to the very backbone of the narrative (even beyond the plot), is that it exists in opposition and to the impairment of the feudal system. Kingdom Come: Deliverance means to teach us, by way of deeply dramatic plots following individuals, how feudalism works and why it worked the way it did. And why and how that system fails.
The vehicle by which the game does this is by showing us, over and over, how the stratification of feudal class is eroded and sometimes outright dissolved (either in general, as with Henry and Hans, or when it matters most, as with Radzig and Henry) by plain and simple love.
Feudalism, like most class-stratified systems, relies upon 1. dehumanization of those beneath one's appointed status; 2. fealty (mock-love) to those above one's status, their title-appointer class; and 3. the maintenance of a deep separation between these artificially bestowed statuses, as enforced by church (as in word of clergy, not word of god) & state (legal rules and law). Those words and laws existed to propel the system by divide-and-maintain (of the workforce populace, placing it firmly below the next class in line, etc.) in the service of unify-and-profit (for the ruling class).
Sigismund & his invading army are wholly separated and adherent to the feudal theory, even if they have flouted codes of warfare & inheritance; they are presented to us as the main dehumanizing force of the story world, a wave of Order that indiscriminately burns opposition flat rather than an individual leading a royal coup, a cyclical destruction that paves the way for the next flavor of rule to continue the feudal system ad infinitum. They're thoroughly separated from the story even when they are burning down a village in front of our eyes and generally move as one, with Markvart occasionally stepping out of that mass of Feudalism and its antihuman nature to give it a face. They're more a force of nature than an individual as far as the narrative goes.
And we are meant to understand that in sharp contrast to the "close" story, the cast we get to know and watch as they attempt to answer this force of nature. And the second we see these characters get close enough to each other, by raw proximity, to poke a pin into the wineskin of feudal order as dictated to them by authority, it bleeds--everywhere. Not in the sense of ruination but in the sense that a tiny wedge of empathy cracks open the dam and leads, yep, to rehumanization--and love, the most human driving force there is.
And that changes everything, for everyone. Not just internally, as with a character's personal development arc (i.e., Hans learning why his duties, which he resented and viewed as an impingement on his freedom when dictated to him by authority, are incredibly important for real people who experience pain) but externally as well (as @feelinungry so elegantly points out in the original post).
Over and over, at every stage of the story, it's the rehumanization of and by these decision-makers (at a family level, at a community level, at a regional level, at a national level) that cracks the feudal cycle, even if in very small ways. Hans really brings this back home in a petri dish in late game, after the siege, when he complains to Henry about the noble's code (letting Istvan go) potentially leading to pain and disaster for the common people Istvan's machinations are likely to harm in the future. He chafes--and we chafe, and so does Radzig, and so does Divish--against feudal stratification because he has learned a general empathy through loving an individual, and that has in turn reshaped the way he sees the world.
And that's exactly why and when feudalism begins to fail, and why it thrashed itself the way it did, from the enforcement of sexual mores (though this wasn't exactly like it is in movies) and gender law to terror upon its own populations.
And it's the crucial understanding I think we begin to forget after being exposed to so much Hollywoodification of history, where the oppression always exists for cruelty's sake alone rather than in active and deliberate service to a political construct.
And I think it's why we've "lost the plot" so horribly when it comes to understanding that people in history were still people, not monolithic one-mind entities (as the feudal system demanded they be). And why we somehow forgot that such people fall in love, in all kinds of love, in a way that has never given a damn about authority. And that this in turn undermines supposedly supreme authority, even divine authority, and will always continue to do so, as long as people are people.
This is what it always comes back to. Always. From Henry's parents and their mysterious bond with Radzig informing the protagonist's journey from "the past"--to Henry & Hans falling into stupidly fierce soulmatehood with each other in the present--from Istvan & Erik's destructive fuck-the-world romantic love on the "enemy" side--to Divish's humbling, humanizing realization that he loves Stephanie in some way, he really does, despite the chasm of age/gender enforced upon them by their adherence to feudal order that doomed their romantic love to failure.
People will always love each other, even when the world orders them not to, even when faced with death and worse. People will always, given proximity and shared experiences, learn to see each other as human again. KCD reminds us of that. It's why the "slow" storyline exists and why it works.
And that is why this game is so fucking fantastic, and why the genpop fandom has utterly failed it.
#kingdom come deliverance#kcd#kcd2#henry of skalitz#hans capon#radzig kobyla#divish of talmberg#stephanie of talmberg#redmeta
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have thought on Jadzia Dax from Star Trek Deep Space 9.
I'm currently rewatching the show (midway season 2), probably my 4th watch through over 8 years? My first time with slightly more youtube-essay-driven media analysis skills. I'm enjoying picking up on a lot more things than I used to but there's one thing that bugs me above all else.
Jadzia Dax doesn't really have a strongly defined character that shines through.
I've spent a while thinking about it. Obviously as a science officer its a little harder to tell stories the audience can understand and relate to compared to Odo's murder investigating or Sisko's exasperated diplomacy, but her stories have issues greater than that.
Both the stories centred on Dax, in season 1 where she stands trial for a crime supposedly committed by a former host, and in season 2 where someone tries to steal her symbiont, are about things that happen to Dax. Not the things Dax does. She is neither the perspective character through which we can see the world of Star Trek, with her own unique views and feelings, nor is she the one actively moving the plot forwards. She's either the victim who sacrifices herselr or quite literally refuses to do anything. Unfortunately this is quite a common failing of writing that's easy to fall into, writing about a character instead of the character making decisions that drive the plot. Its one that sci fi writing at the time seemed to do quite often with a lot (but not all) female characters. Ivanova and Talia from Babylon 5 fall victim to this too, especially in early seasons. In contrast, Major Kira, and even Ezri Dax later on have stronger characterisation and are the centre of their own stories.
I doubt this was intentional, its clear through the successes of writing other characters in the show that the writers, actors, and showrunners are trying to make everyone alive and meaningful, so what went wrong?
Looking at Jadzia Dax's character, I think what's clearly missing is a strong drive for her character. No real desires or vulnerabilities. No questions either. To provide constrasting examples:
Odo (who gets almost too much screen time in season 1) is clearly driven by a sense of justice no matter whatever starfleet rules say. He's in constant conflict with Quark, ever vigilant, somewhat isolated from other people. No one ever asks "Why does Odo do what he does?" His motivations are clear, and they even tie it up with an extra motive that's very plot relevant: the mystery of where he comes from. All things a single episode writer can use and explore.
Major Kira has her own conflict with starfleet, her desire to do right by her own people, to get justice for Bajor, and always stand up for the underdog which creates really good stories as she struggles with her own values and constantly has to make choices that affect the story.
Bashir wants acclaim, accomplishment, romance, and also for everyone to like him. Quark wants profit without putting himself at risk. O'Brien wants to just do his job and go home to his family. Sisko wants to hold everything together with the responsibility of peace and reason on his shoulders while singlehandedly raising his son. Jake wants community, friends, and freedom in his life. Funnily enough Ezri Dax has far better drive. Trying to figure out what she wants in life, handling this enormous change and overwhelming personality, and her own lack of confidence that she's useful to anyone sometimes. She grows and changes more over the course of a season than we ever see in early seasons Jadzia.
What does Jadzia Dax want?
I think in attempting to make a wise 300 year old person who's seen everything, they accidentally wrote themselves into a corner. Jadzia has no strong motivations to do much at all. She does fine as a secondary character, and I love how her friendship with Sisko plays out on screen, but beyond being surprisingly enlightened about a lot of things as the result of age and experience there's no drive there.
And so no drive or motivation, and no stories told from her perspective. We have ourselves a problem.
I thought for a while if I could find a solution to the issue rather than just offer criticism. I originally tried writing an outline for an episode. Jadzia would be a fantastic protagonist for any wacky sci fi short story concept that required a scientist to explore, such as time travel paradoxes, simulations, weird space anomolies that do "plot relevant thing" that she would be perfectly posed to actually explore instead of "technobabble and tap console" until the problem is solved.
Then I decided that all we really needed to have a framework any writer could use is to establish a strong character motivation for her. Here's my shot at it.
Jadzia Dax, in harmony with seven lifetimes of experience, is an extremely competent twenty seven year old woman. She can almost certainly do the job of anyone on the station better than they can. Fix a computer? Better than O'Brien can. First aid? She's there and solved the issue before Julian can get there. Solve a murder? A past host was an invesigator of course she can to Odo's chagrin. She has better ideas of what Sisko can do to bring the Bajorans towards the federation. Hell she's the best representative of federation values on that station and could constantly be presenting that of the story.
Dax struggles to hold herself back when she sees her friends failing at what she can solve the problem for them. She tries not to, that's what her training tells her to do. But out here on the edge of Federation space where there's constantly lives on the line? She finds herself interfering in other people's work more and more often. She just doesn't want it do be done wrong. She pushes herself hard to do too many jobs. She doesn't sleep or eat enough while telling everyone else to take care of themselves better. After a while people start relying on her. It turns from her helping to her having those responsibilities. Pilot. Diplomat. Linguist. Researcher. Mechanic. Leader. So much emotional support for her friends because everything they're suffering she's been through herself. It becomes too much for her and you could make the core of one story her just crashing. Learning how to balance her experience with giving room to other to shine through and solve their own problems, which they're very capable of doing. There's plenty more detail to elaborate on but I think this gives a core drive and conflict that lasts a character a couple of seasons at least to explore and grow through.
I happily invite thoughts as to whether my original observations are astute, or wether you think there aren't any problems with how Jadzia's passivity plays out in the show. If you think there are problems, do you think my perscribed solution helps fix them? How would you go about it?
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
tavon: dont trust the imperials
petra: aren't you imperial?
tavon: no.
#shitpost#i like want to sit in a corner and just write interactions here because this is just great.#petra has no fucking idea who the commander is. which is like. lmfao#its like. HOW do you explain galaxy-wide political systems and factions to someone like her#who is (completely understandably) focused on the VERY COMPLICATED politics of her own planet.#which like. these political issues are connected to the wider picture but also like.#people on ord mantell are SO busy with. what's happening on ord mantell. that they're totally lacking wider perspectives so like#she just. Doesn't know.#like i assume she knows about the Eternal Empire at least because they took over. everything. but#ord mantell went back to the politics from before that era right after the occupation was over (presumably)#so its like. tavon offhand is like 'yeah im the leader of the organization that stole the Eternal Fleet and beat them'#petra like. you're WHO??#sorry i just love so much that the newest character is like. this girl with an INTENSELY focused perspective#she is LACKING that wider galaxy view which is. honestly refreshing and a great way to bring the story back down to earth#(ignore the fact that this is another superweapon storyline--ignore the fact that this is another superweapon storyline--INGORE THE FACT TH#*is shot*#anyways i really liked petra so far. extremely refreshign#its just like how Rass is refreshing too because while he knows the big picture and is VERY involved#its his brother that is higher in the faction and Rass himself is just like#kinda just a dude. which is refreshing#anyways. i want to know where darth fenris is. aka. darth suspicious.#wait hes not even a darth is he. is he just a lord. i am totally forgetting.#oops
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i swear to god, jgy being bitchy/prickly as a proof that he's finally opened up to someone is possibly my most disliked fandom treatment of him, because with obvious jgy haters at least I know we have exactly nothing to talk about! aaaaand block! but then people who claim to love him just make him into a total opposite of who he was in the novel and it's just like. sigh
#practically every time i bitch about it i bring up the fact that Yes the perspective of being able to be your worst self with no fear that#the person who sees that will hate you and book it is seductive and heady#but its never about that. or rather: when you read the novel you get the feel that jgy is wearing a smiling mask almost#constantly and it would be nice for him to not have to do that. but often fanworks lack that element and jgy is just a bitch#i mean yes sometimes you get a vague mention of difficult work! or some vague idea of a backstory that hints at jgy being a bitch#because he got hurt in the past and its his armor. and thats nice but its not jin guangyao. whose whole thing in canon was that he was#ALWAYS polite. i guess most fans picture a smile that you can See is fake and murderous but its not the case in the novel at all#and even if there really IS a setting where jgy can let himself be a bitch in front of his partner... it's just. so annoying#like jgy isn't a person but a little chihuahua throwing a little fit hihihi! how funny! have we mentioned he's so short?#I haven't found a fic where jgy genuinely can complain about his work/family/whatever troubles him and the other person reacts in a way#that would be a satisfying and appropriate emotional reaction for him (idk how to put it but for example when i need to vent i also need#the person im venting to to agree that yeah this is shitty/bullshit! which is why i dont really vent to people anymore lol)#it always has this comical undertone and it feels so wrong 4 me#on top of that this bitchy little a-yao is so popular that people dont even think twice about it. just like nmj who's so warm and loving#not to mention endlessly queer and supportive that people forget the original flavour (to borrow the sv term lol)#and again i do understand! one of my past otps was very Quirky and over the top (thats anime 4 u) and i soaked up the rare moments when#they were just people with complex feelings like a fucking sponge. then my fic was all about the complex feelings without any of the#quirkiness because i was tired of its abundance in canon. but in a way because of this they were a complete 180 from their canon selves#so like. i guess i understand. but what i dont understand is that this assumes thay jgy's smiles and kindness are ALL a front and that the#bitch (or gremlin! he and wwx are ~gremlin friends~ uh huh) is the True Self. and i mean. w h a t#people got So hooked up on short bitchy customer service employee forced to hide his oceans of snark behind a smile so fake its cracking at#the edges thay they forgot about the man who would do everything for people he loved + enjoyed making them happy and comfortable#and was kind to his subordinates. there's nothing of that dude in popular fics and im not even sure if authors know he existed#the closest we have is him trying to be the favourite uncle/satisfy his in-laws first/show off which just seems so shallow lmao#and its like Oh God#i know 'these are all fictional characters eli' but ashfhfkflsahfjsgod#shut up shrimp
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anything For You
Sukuna x Reader
genre: fluff, hurt/comfort
summary: After a thousand years, Sukuna never thought that he'd find you again. Only this time, your goals have changed and you weren't the person he can rule the world with anymore. Would he give that up just for you?
wc: 2.7K
content: friends to lovers, lovesick sukuna, kinda ooc sukuna because of how lovesick he is, mutual pining. they were in a situationship for a thousand years, can you guys handle that?
“Sukuna, don’t you feel alone in the past thousand years? I mean, all you’ve wanted is to gain power and do other villain-y things. It’s pretty lame and sad in my opinion.” Yuuji, his vessel, says mindlessly as he chews on his food while he waits for Megumi and Nobara.
“You insolent fool.” He sneered, a mouth forming on Yuuji’s cheeks. “I don’t mope around like you do. I was not alone either.”
Contrary to popular belief, Sukuna wasn’t heartless as most people paint him out to be. In fact, during the Heian Era, Sukuna is always seen to be with a powerful sorcerer.
There was you. The only person he sees as his equal.
But after you were killed, your history with Sukuna was quickly forgetten as the men write history in their own perspective. You are a significant figure in history, yes– but you and Sukuna together were only briefly mentioned in the books.
People have forgotten about how Sukuna, the King of Curses, have ruled the Jujutsu World with you by his side.
In the bygone days of the Heian Period, You and Sukuna have a unique bond as you two had grown up together. You were the only one who witnessed how he rises up to be the King of Curses. You were a powerful sorcerer too in your own way, despite the lack of title. Your benevolent nature has gotten a lot of people to respect you. People were not intimidated by your power but by your wisdom.
Despite your personality which is in contrast to Sukuna’s, it never became a hindrance between your bond. In fact, he seemed to like you more because of it. You taught him how to kill and destroy with purpose. and together, the two of you wreaked havoc on Earth.
You were the first and last person who knows him inside and out, not even Uraume could compare. He even prefers your shitty cooking, for god’s sake. He feels weak in your presence. Sukuna kind of resents you for it, how you make him feel. How he’s willing to burn the entire world at your command. He’d kill anyone without batting an eye if you ask him to. You have him wrapped around your pretty fingers and you don’t even know it.
He remembers going into the gardens of your shared home after a battle and you’d welcome him with open arms, hugging him with your little frame. You didn’t care about the blood on his clothes or how he reeks of death. You look at him with such kindness, as if he has done nothing wrong in this world. You held his hands with such gentleness, as if he has hasn’t covered his hands with so much blood. And you smile and crack jokes around him after terrorizing villages, you wrap bandages around his wounds even if he can heal it in a heartbeat. He loves being doted on by you.
He was really good at keeping his emotions to himself unlike you who’d outwardly show how much you love him. He had a feeling that you knew of his affections slightly. After all, you were the only one allowed to touch Sukuna, to tease him and be alive after that. He chose not to tell you his feelings because he thought that he’d have all the time in the world to tell you.
Well, he thought he did until he received the news that you were killed.
Sukuna didn’t look at your corpse, refusing that seeing your cold lifeless body would be his last memory of you. After that was just endless rampage of destruction. In his mind, it was his way of avenging you. People have forgotten about you because of the amount of lives he had taken— his crimes outweighed any humanity he had left of him.
It goes like that until he was defeated and sealed. Well, that was years ago but even now, all he thinks about is you. So much that he could still hear your laugh.
“Really?” Yuuji exclaimed. “I think I should ask Gojo-sensei about—”
Yuuji’s rambling was cut off with a sound of laughter, which causes both him and the demon inside him to look where that voice comes from.
That all too familiar voice that even after countless lifetimes, he would still recognize anywhere. Sukuna felt like his entire world stopped when he sees where that voice comes from. Everything seemed to blur as his entire attention is fixated on the woman.
It was you, in the flesh.
Or rather, someone who is an exact copy of you.
He had found you! You had reincarnated as he hoped you would. You kept your promise and you’d see him again.
You were walking and conversing beside Gojo Satoru as you approach Yuuji who stood up straight and looked at you with wide eyes.
“Who might this be?” You gave the kid a playful smile.
Sukuna was able to examine you up close as you walked closer to Yuuji. You were as beautiful as the day he lost you. You fit right into this modern period— you’re wearing a uniform similar to Gojo’s, but instead of pants, you were wearing a skirt and knee high boots. If someone were to tell Sukuna that he’d find you like this, fighting against him, he would have howled in laughter before killing that someone.
“Yuuji Itadori, miss!” the young sorcerer said, exuding a bit too much enthusiasm.
“So he is the vessel.” You acknowledged with a nod before sharing a look with Gojo Satoru.
“This is Y/N Y/L/N! She’s a special grade sorcerer from Kyoto but will be transferring here to accommodate you. She doesn’t go to missions anymore just like I do so Y/N would be there whenever you need her.” Gojo explains, putting a hand on you and Yuuji’s shoulders.
Yuuji’s eyes widened as he registered the significance of your name “Like the one in history books Y/N Y/L/N?”
“I wish.” You quipped, inserting a playful note in your response. “It was nice meeting you. I’ve waited for you, you know.” Then you extended your hand toward Yuuji and as your fingers met his, Sukuna could feel the familiarity of your touch. You looked at Yuuji with so much intensity, as if you’re looking at the curse residing in him. Right at Sukuna. and he didn’t fail to notice the way your smile was gentler compared to the ones you’ve given the kid.
It was for him.
You’ve seen him.
“Well,” You let out a sigh when you’ve pulled away. “I better get going. I’m sorry to cut this short, Yuuji. I hope we’ll get to know more of each other. I heard you like rice bowls, I’ll treat you to my favorite restaurant in tokyo next week, yeah?” You pat the top of his head and Yuuji gives you a huge grin.
Once you’ve left, Yuuji could finally notice Sukuna’s silence. He had been silent ever since you’ve arrived and Yuuji was about to tease him for it until Gojo spoke up.
“It’s her if she wasn’t being obvious enough.”
-.-
In the week following his unexpected encounter with you, Sukuna’s demeanor underwent a subtle transformation. He was less mean to Yuuji and the snarky remarks had lessened.
True to your promise, you spent time with Yuuji, fulfilling your role as a companion and mentor. However, your newfound indifference towards Sukuna fueled a frustration that within him. Did he merely imagine the spark of recognition in your eyes? Was it truly still you?
He found out a lot about you during the time you spent with Yuuji as well as the information that Gojo discloses concerning you. It seems as though you have helped the Jujutsu World slowly gain back its glory just like back in the golden days. You’re a teacher too, and from what Gojo has mentioned, you’re still the same patient and kind person he fell in love with.
Sukuna feels a twinge of jealousy at the mention of how you’re close with the white-haired sorcerer. He finds himself scoffing at the thought of you finally replacing him. It isn’t far from reality, you’re too likable for your own good anyway. You make it so easy to love you that Sukuna failed to notice that this disease has swallowed him whole and now he’s stuck, absolutely pining for you like an idiot. How dare you move on from him if that’s the case?
He needed answers from you or else he’d go crazy. So he finds out where you live and he found out that you were living in the more peaceful side of Tokyo. It took him a while to get in control again and the moment he did, his feet carried him to you.
Your house is beautiful, it looked like the mini version of the place that you once shared with Sukuna. He entered it quietly and to his surprise, you were no where to be found but then he catches a glimpse of you in the window overlooking the garden.
Sukuna finds himself smiling as he reaches the garden. It had a variety of flowers and plants, the very ones you had planted with him years ago. You’re wearing a beautiful red plaid sundress and the modern age never looked so good in anyone but you.
You were simply ethereal.
You were too engrossed in watering your plants when he walks towards you.
“Old habits hard for you, Y/N.” Sukuna spoke up, his voice devoid of any usual domineering tone that he uses to other humans.
You turned to him, wide eyed. It was the first time you’ve seen him in ages. Sukuna’s still in the body of the young sorcerer that you frequently saw the past week but he looked like him—with his tattoos and demeanor. Your eyes are soon filled with tears and you shakily reached for him, engulfing him in a tight embrace.
“Finally.” You choked out, burying your face to his chest. Sukuna carefully snakes his hands towards your back on instinct. “It’s been so long. it was all worth it. I knew you’d come back.”
He rests his chin on the top of your head. Sukuna’s voice turned hoarse as he spoke. “I thought you were killed I-”
“I’m already here, Ryo.” You interrupted, pulling away to cup his cheek gently. Sukuna leaned in to the warmth of your touch, melting in an instant. “ I wasn’t. I was just sealed until I was let out by one of my dearest friends. I came to find you but you were already gone, so I waited.”
“You don’t know how much I’ve missed you, Y/N.”
“You were asleep for almost a thousand years. I was alive for most of it, clearly I missed you more.”
“Well, I thought you were dead. Cut me some slack, doll.” Sukuna teased with a smirk. You bite your lip to stifle your smile, playfully nodding inagreement.
“Come with me.” He murmured, pulling away to press his lips against your forehead. “After I kill this brat, I can take control and we can finally change the world.”
“By killing everyone in it?” You shakily asked. Sukuna thought that you were just shaken because of how glad you are to have him back.
He gave you a smirk. “Well, that was my idea. You know how I am.”
“Times have changed, Ryo. I’m afraid that it has softened me. I’m not the person you used to imagine burning the world down with anymore.” You calmly admitted, meeting Sukuna’s intense gaze and you tried to calm him down by tracing circles on his arm but he didn’t look convinced in the slightest.
“I’m here now. You could drop your act. I can protect you now, you know.”
“You don’t understand, dear.” you interjected, gently pushing a strand away from his face. “We have different objectives now. You seek to take over the world and be feared forever. I seek to live out my days in peace until I decide to end it.”
You must’ve noticed how Sukuna’s expression dropped at your words so you quickly clarified. “oh no, but don’t think I’d end my life after our interaction. In fact, I’ll live for a few more years until it will bore me to death. Literally. But there’s just so much to love and to do in this world, I’m afraid.”
“Don’t you want to be with me? Have you grown tired of me?” He demanded, his voice getting louder as he continues to talk. You weren’t fazed in the slightest and it aggravates him even further. It used to comfort him, that you know him so well, but now the butterflies in his stomach makes him anxious more than anything else.
You have always had the upper hand and he feels you cursing him the more you grant him your presence.
He feels disregarded as you implicitly rejected him.
“No.” You offered him a sweet smile, your eyes never leaving his. Sukuna thinks he might float with the way you’re looking at him right and his breath hitched once he hears you say the next words. “I love you, Ryo. In fact, I love you enough to know of your nature and I would be the last person who would stop you in achieving what you want. I wouldn’t be in your way but I couldn’t stay by your side anymore.”
Sukuna searched for a hint that indicates that you were lying and he found none. You had always been honest with him. He looks at you with a heartbroken expression but still trying to maintain his stoic face. He’s clearly hurt “Did our past mean nothing to you?”
“I’ve done everything I could, Ryo. I’ve done everything for you. You know I did that all for you. Wasn’t that enough? Didn’t you feel my love for you in the slightest? You could kill me now, if you want. It’d be a pleasure to die by your hand.” Your eyes are once again brimmed with tears again yet you continued to smile as you trail your fingers over his cheek “I’m sorry but I’m tired of seeing red. Gojo must’ve told what I did, you must know my change of heart.”
He did.
Of course he did.
He knew of what you did yet he still held on to the fact that he might be wrong. So is this really how it ends? Sukuna enjoys destruction and killing. He loves being in power and he will not admit that if you weren’t alive, he’s probably murdering civillians in Shibuya right now. But after he’d gain control over Yuuji Itadori’s body, the only thing that he keeps thinking of is coming home to you.
And what would the point be if you are not by his side?
“Then I’ll stay with you.” He declared.
A scoff escapes your lips and your bewildered expression makes him smirk even more. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’ll just finish this and I’ll come back to you. None of this matters anymore. I’ll abandon all of it. For you.”
You looked at him incredulously, your mouth agape. Sukuna wastes no time to finally pull you in a kiss.
It was a gentle one at first and he pulls away slightly to see you pout, eliciting a chuckle from him, only to pull you back to a deeper, passionate kiss. Sukuna smiles into the kiss as a soft gasp escapes from you.
He kisses you fervently, as if he needs your air to breathe. And as you run your hand through his hair, moaning to the kiss, he pulls you impossibly closer.
He’s home.
He returned to you 3 months later, in his original form. He entered your house with wounds and bruises, his body covered in blood once more. It was just like before, but this time, it feels so different. He had a soft look in his eyes and he feels like he’s floating on air now that he’s gone home to you.
Just like before, you welcomed him with open arms. He lifted you and spinned you around, eliciting a squeal from you. When he puts you down, you peppered kisses to his face and hugged him really tight.
“I love you.” Sukuna whispers, tucking your hair behind your ear before leaning in to kiss you gently. You smiled at his confession. There was a look in your eyes that you knew it all along.
“It took you a millennium to say that.”
wanna read more?
a/n: i bet he still murders in his free time after being retired 😻
#sukuna x reader#sukuna fluff#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#sukuna hurt/comfort#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fanfic#sukuna fanfic#sukuna x reader angst
957 notes
·
View notes
Text
there’s a great write up by someone on here that i will have to search for in which they discuss how the ultimate evil for david lynch is sexual violence against women (even more severe than murder, which is often auxiliary to that type of specific violence); twin peaks is incredibly soapy—on purpose! lynch and frost are playing with form and content on purpose to examine incredibly difficult subject matter through a (for lack of a better word) more palatable format—which most of the time i think works to its advantage and makes those moments of visible horror so much more effective (i use “visible” rather than “true” or other similar adjectives because the horror is always there, it’s embedded in the entire town, shows up in every generation we see in screen and we watch them grapple with it in different ways, but that’s a separate post)
however—and i’ve talked about this before—i find that once you’ve watched fire walk with me it is so much harder to watch the show because the ignorance of nearly every single member of the town (yes, including cooper) pervades the way the action unfolds. twin peaks viewers knew the premise of the show going in and we get to discover details and information alongside the characters. when albert rosenfield comes in as the only voice of reason and reality, it’s set up to be jarring to both the townspeople and to the viewer. why?
sheryl lee said in an interview, “fire walk with me was very difficult for me to watch… and, emotionally it’s a reminder: this is a movie, but this continues to happen every day and how can we stop it? when i watch fire walk with me now, as a mother, i watch it and i think look at all those signs that were being exhibited. this girl was in danger, and look at all these people that were in her life. what would have happened if someone, somewhere, somehow could have helped or stopped it? that’s hard to watch.”
much has been discussed critically about fire walk with me and whether or not it’s exploitative in the ways that it portrays sexual violence against women. while lynch does not shy away from making that violence visible, it is done so in an attempt to make the viewer examine their own relationship to that violence and how it shows up in their own lives. the audience is forced to think about the ways that they are complicit in how and why these violent acts occur and what they can do to stop it, which is why for many it is an uncomfortable watch. for others, it is a painful (and speaking from my own perspective) necessary watch because lynch didn’t make a horror movie, he made a documentary.
fire walk with me is necessary (in my humblest of opinions) to understand why the pieces that lynch and frost put into twin peaks work. there’s so much backstory to how they weren’t originally going to reveal who laura palmer’s killer was until ABC made them, lynch wasn’t around during much of the second season so things got a little off the rails storytelling-wise, etc. etc. but fire walk with me allows them to tie difficult, often horrifying threads (ben horne unknowingly attempting to have sex with his daughter, the townspeople’s distancing of albert, the hands of random townspeople trembling as BOB attempts to claw back into the material world, the list goes on and on) back to the central thesis of “sexual violence is the ultimate evil, it is completely avoidable, and you have a responsibility to recognize the signs and stop being complicit”
#twin peaks#david lynch#fire walk with me#this is a huge essay but i’ve been really thinking about this lately as even though i love—LOVE—twin peaks (i have a twin peaks tattoo!) it#has been getting really hard to engage with lately and for me this is why; the combination of the fact that FWWM is an incredible#examination of horrific real life violence and because of the ways that we see the ignorance of everyone else (purposefully) put on screen#in short i think david lynch is a master for this reason but man if it isn’t hard (and important! but hard!) to engage with!
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Requesting for sub!dottore having his virginity taken in the akademiya by reader :3
Just imagining being his first,, he'd be so cute!!
obviously a virgin [dottore x amab.reader]
contents: no pronouns specified, dom reader/sub dottore, nsfw, akademiya zandik, slight exhibitionism, virgin taking, vanilla-ish, praise, dacryphilia, degradation, biting, blood, choking, overstimulation, (wc: 2.6k), tell me if i miss anything.
꒰ hi! thanks for being my first rq ❤️❤️ i do like me virgin taking ideas hehe, rqs r open btw n sorry this took too long :( ill be working on another dottie rq,, also holy shit thanks for 500??? i literally hit 400 a week ago... haha hi.. theres so many of you guys.. 😥😥(ty for all the support!)꒱
it's entertaining to mess with zandik, the cute boy who always gets paired with you for projects, since you're the only one who willingly sits beside him whenever you have class together.
you could definitely see why people are both intimidated and suspicious of him. you wanted to get to know your partner more, so you had asked him what he was writing in his notes all day long instead of listening to the professor, and just hearing him talk about his most recent research was enough to get the matra to do a thorough investigation in his flat.
you should've really backed away from zandik and refrained from interacting with him anymore aside from your projects, but the way his eyes turned from his usual bored and cold stare to turn into sparkling rubies when you said you wanted to learn more about his studies, the way his behavior slowly went from snobbish and irritated whenever you were around, to getting giddy at the idea of someone finally showing interest and understanding of his views and perspective while also trying to keep pretending that he's not growing fond of your company at all, has you completely hooked on zandik.
it was only a matter of time before you've managed to get zandik all wrapped around your fingers, all putty in your arms whenever you hold him, and finally able to call him yours.
before you asked him out, he was very... shy, for lack of a better term. whenever you think he feels flustered by something you say or do, he starts swearing at you and insulting you for no apparent reason. of course, you were taken aback at the sudden attitude, but he'd be all red in the face as he tried to hide away from you, a hand on his chest and muttering curses to himself under his breath.
and he proceeded to be a cutie even in a relationship. the boy can not express himself at all, and you can't blame him. he was used to being alone for the majority of his life, people casting him out, his own village even banished him, so you know he has never felt a lick of love ever since. zandik was just very lucky that you had the patience of a god despite his deranged self and rather less-than-humane ideas. he was aware enough to be grateful for your loving sincerity.
it's always so entertaining to see his face turn completely red, brows furrowed and lips curling into a terrifying scowl as he stumbles over his words, yelling at you for flustering him, making him feel loved.
really, it's not your fault that his reactions are so amusing. hugs, and kisses, he was slowly getting accustomed to. he was also getting bolder day by day, grabbing you by your forearms as he shyly pressed a kiss on your lips. he's so assertive, but at the same time, he's seconds away from punching you in the face because of your big dopey grin.
one day, you thought, "what if i take it a step further?". it was your own experiment to conduct, and you merely wanted his reactions as a result (or maybe even a green light to proceed...) and so, you began subtly touching him on his erogenous zones.
it started off innocent, your hands caressing the skin of his neck while you pull him into a deep kiss, tenderly squeezing him as you grab him by the waist, nipping on his earlobe and even going as far as lightly giving his ass a slap. and just as you expected, he'd immediately glare at you, sharp teeth exposing themselves as he glowers at you. of course, you don't miss the way his hands shaky slightly and how he becomes extra jittery when you get too close, your hot breath fanning into his ear.
then you took it even further when zandik never told you to stop.
in the middle of a class, you'd place your hand on his thigh. you'd pretend to be listening to your professor, writing down notes and humming to yourself as he shoots you a pointed look. yet he didn't move away from you, only letting out a small sigh as he melted when you absentmindedly circled your thumb on his skin, gently squeezing and kneading his thigh.
he didn't mind it at all... until you decided to slowly move your hand closer to his crotch, which made his breath hitch and close his legs, his nails digging into the book he was reading. but you keep your hand on on him, forcing your hand into his inner thigh to give it teasing squeezes. zandik almost gasped when your fingers slipped inside his shirt, featherlight touch grazing the smooth skin of his pelvis, ghosting over his quivering abdomen, then massaging onto the dip of his hips.
then you pulled your hand away, resting your chin onto your palm, and spun your pen in your other hand, ignoring zandik's looks of frustration with a big smirk tugging on your lips.
and this continued for weeks on end; pinning him against a wall in an empty hall and then making out with him so good his knees would buckle underneath him, only to leave him yearning for more when you remind him you've got classes to attend to—openly talking about very sexual topics that would make his jaw clench and narrow his eyes at you, his mind reeling from all the fantasies that you've been planting into his imagination—eyeing him so intently and making sure he sees you lick your lips, leading him to throw his book at your face.
you can easily tell it was driving him mad, for you to push and test his limits, only to fuck with him and pull away. his carnal desire only grew at your ridiculous behavior, and truthfully, zandik doesn't know what to do with himself. he's not a stranger to the warmth that pools in the pits of his stomach, but he has never done anything about it, and it got overwhelmingly intense when it came to you.
and frankly, he has had enough.
here you go again, trailing wet kisses all over his neck and collarbones, in a fucking library. zandik had to hold back screaming at you when you pinned him against one of the shelves and started making out with him. at least you had half the mind to do it somewhere more secluded.
your hands were inside his shirt, grazing his skin with your nails, fingertips ghosting over his hardened nipples. he couldn't help but whimper into the kiss, his knees growing weak as you press yours onto his crotch.
zandik really wanted to be the one in control so bad. he wanted you to be quivering beneath him, moaning his name and begging him for pleasure. but fuck, just by your touch, the warmth of your palms, how your lips leave his skin tingling and muttering sweet nothing's in his ear, he can't possibly fight against it. it was like all his previous thoughts have escaped his mind, and now he's reduced to some dumb, needy slut who can't get enough.
the ever so smart and arrogant zandik, now just a pathetic, quivering mess in your arms, desperate for more. it was obvious how his hips erratically moved against your knee, though sloppy and without a rhythm. it was obvious how his hands kept grabbing you; from your arms, shoulders, and wrapping his arms around your neck, he was restless. he squirmed and whined, nipping at your lips and refusing to let you pull away.
he was so fucking horny that he is not going to allow you to fuck with him again this time.
so, as soon as you leaned back, he grabbed your arms and yanked you back toward him. brows furrowed as his sharp, crimson eyes glower at you, his hands gripped you so hard, you were convinced it was bound to leave bruises. you tensed at his sudden actions, and your expression grew sheepish.
uh oh, you thought, guilt quickly overtaking you. immediately, you assumed that you've finally reached the limit of his patience, and now you're about to get it—especially with how angry he looked. but then he smashed his lips against yours, catching you off guard. you groaned against the kiss, teeth clashing against each other, the iron taste of your blood making you shiver.
zandik pulls away, licking his lips, "if you're gonna keep touching me like this—" he pants between breaths, growling and digging his nails into your arm, "then go through with it! i can't take it anymore!"
"oh," you say dumbly, blinking at him with wide eyes. zandik groaned at your response, his cheeks reddening as he grew flustered when your lips curled into a dark, mischievous grin. "oh my, in a library of all places?" you shook your head teasingly, pressing your body closer to his and making his breath hitch when he felt your lips against his ear. "how naughty you are."
zandik shuddered at your words, his arms now wrapped against your neck, biting his bottom lip to suppress any embarrassing noise that threatened to leave his throat. "y-you're the one who started it!" he whispered angrily in your ear, his face completely red, chuckling at the way he stumbled at his words.
that's how he ended up getting his virginity taken by you in a library. he didn't expect you to, but it seemed like you couldn't wait any longer either.
you tried to be gentle. really, you did! you love zandik to death that you wanted to take it easy on him on his first. but then he was complaining and rushing you, pleading for you to just put it in and that he could take it. you can't help but click your tongue, a bit annoyed, but still understanding. he was really needy, a bit cute, especially when you've embarrassed him.
"just put it in!" he bemoans, wriggling his hips impatiently whilst your fingers scissor his hole. you frown at him, shoving your fingers deeper, soliciting a silent moan from his lips, his heart pounding hard against his chest. "i have to stretch you out first, it'll be painful if i don't." then you tilt your head to the side, a curious glint in your eyes as you smile, "lest you want it to hurt?"
zandik scowls at your suggestion, but you can tell he is flustered by how you read his mind. your smile only widened, ideas forming in your mind as you curl your fingers into a certain spot, and he had to swallow down his screams and bury his head onto your neck.
"gods zandik," you chuckle, watching his shoulders shake at your condescending tone, "you're such a fucking whore."
you don't trust him to keep quiet for his first time. his sharp teeth bit onto the flesh of your hand, hissing at the pain the more his teeth sink into your skin. your blood mixed in with his drool that dribbled down his chin, muffling his whorish moans as you pound into him.
zandik clawed at the wooden shelves, books falling to the ground as he tried to desperately hold onto something, anything to make him feel even a bit of stability. it felt so fucking good, the way your cock stretched his insides, his walls convulsing to your girth as you push deeper into his hole. he could feel it pulsating inside of him, so warm and big, easily stuffed as you bury even deeper into him. he regrets that he didn't let you fuck him sooner, easily growing addicted to your cock.
beads of his precum dripped onto the floor, creating a pathetic puddle of his arousal. his poor neglected cock, red and throbbing, bobbing in the air and flicking bits of his juices everywhere at each thrust, making a mess onto the books on the shelves. he couldn't stop it even if he wanted to, he doesn't understand why his cock is leaking so much, twitching and practically begging to be touched by you. too bad you're ignoring it.
you had to hook your arms under his, unable to stand on his own with how good you were fucking him. his legs could barely function, trembling and weak whenever your cockhead harshly hits his prostate.
he keens at the burning pleasure that's spreading all over his body and all the way down to his toes. it was better than he could ever imagine, your cock was so big, and he never wants you to stop—all he could let out were mantras of fuck's and faster! and harder! and don't stop! he almost forgot that he was inside a library.
you feel him tighten when you wrap your hand around his throat, squeezing his neck. he choked on his own spit as he grew lightheaded, the smell and taste of your blood sending shivers down his spine, the corners of his eyes darkening as he's gasping for breath in between his moans. he squirmed against you, throwing his head back as he raked his nails onto your arms and leaving bright red scratches, but you only groaned at the pain and slammed your hips against his ass, your cock abusing his poor prostate.
zandik couldn't take it. it was too much! he cums, hard.
ropes of his thick cum flung onto books and onto the floor, his eyes rolled back as his body shook. your hand remained wrapped on his throat and your thrusts slowed to let him ride his high, whimpering as tears rolled down his cheeks. his head was in the clouds, screaming your name against your hand as his body quivered.
his head laid against your shoulder, so fucked out that his mind was completely blank. he wanted to scold you for driving him mad for weeks, for fucking him and taking his virginity in a library, of all places! but most important, he wanted you to bend him over his desk and fuck him harder. to use him, keep fucking him to your heart's content, as long as you're burying your cock that he loves so much into his hole.
then, you start moving again, your thrusts now held more vigor than before. zandik arches his back, his body trembling, sensitive from his previous orgasm. he looks at you with wide eyes, his teeth biting onto your hand once more. he's afraid he might scream at the top of his lungs if he doesn't bite on your hand.
he wanted to tell you to stop, that it's too much for him to handle, but the burn, the pain, it felt too good. the way his dick drooled when you started fucking him again had his head spinning. it stings, and his cock was still painfully throbbing from how neglected it was. it's not like he can say anything coherent anyway, you have your hand preventing him from pleading for mercy.
"don't forget about me, love." you purr into his ear, squeezing his neck and choking him, watching his tears clump his lashes together as he claws at your arms for oxygen. you grin at the pathetic display, struggling to breathe even if you've let him go. you don't stop, forcing his body to bend to your will, using him until you've had your fill. or at least, he's finally lost his mind to the pleasure. "you're gonna let me cum, right? fill you up until you're full?" you're not sure if he could even understand your words at this point, but zandik nods, like a good, obedient slut.
oh, you are going to have so much fun with him.
#» asmo's writings#» dottore#dottore x reader#dottore x male reader#sub dottore#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin x male reader#sub genshin#sub genshin impact#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#sorry if it got a bit boring i kinda rushed to finish this#it was a spur in the moment type of 'finishing' it hijskaddas#i opened my drafts and went 'hm ill force myself tofinish it'
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
I think another reason that women who are into men are sometimes into or outright prefer gay porn is not just that there's two dudes, but that a man and his reaction will be the subject of focus.
Just speaking from personal experience but if you're into men being the subject of porn then gay porn has a lot more of that than het porn for both statistics reasons and for "we're uncomfortable sexualizing men the way we do women" reasons. Hetero porn simply lacks that focus on even sexualized depictions of male pleasure (or pain or humiliation or whatever gets you hot to see someone experience) where they're making noises and falling apart and generally being undignified. It will usually be the woman overtly groaning and moaning and writhing for the (presumed) male audience while the man in the scene is more stoic or in control. Even romance novels for women tend to focus on the female perspective and pleasure (in a more self-inserty way of course) rather than say... the female main character getting off to watching their male lover orgasm. Not to say it doesn't happen in those genres and mediums but it certainly takes more searching to find and it's not as clearly labelled as other kinks.
If you want to see a man more overtly expressing himself during sex, whether he is pounding or being pounded, you'll have more luck finding it in porn where there are no women. This also applies to solo masturbation porn and fucking sex dolls and stuff but i prefer porn with two or more people and others probably do too. And this is just a general trend I observed (and tbf erotica written from the man's perspective also works similarly to me, if only because of the internal monologue) but I feel it's relevant.
--
582 notes
·
View notes
Text
I particularly enjoy how they handled Sephiroth's arrival to Nibelheim, juxtaposing his inner state with the perception that the other characters and the public appear to have of him.
Spoilers, obviously.
Consider this scene for example. Sephiroth is visibly disturbed by both the familiarity of his surroundings and the fact that he cannot place the dejavu it created. But when Cloud/Zack asks whether he's okay, he immediately turns the conversation to the other party's well-being and readiness.
This demonstrates how much he embraced the idea that he has to endure and never show weakness or discomfort, that he *MUST* always be okay. It also shows that he's not used to being questioned if he's alright. Anyone who grew up with a narcissistic parent would recognize the internalized rule of not causing trouble for others, which includes not being physically or mentally unwell.
And a part of the general public did support that image, with some even dismissing the idea of a "living legend" being ill, claiming that a hypothetical "mako poisoning isn't going to hurt him".
In some ways, an idea like that stripped its intended target of human nature long before Sephiroth lost his marbles in the mansion’s basement.
Cloud/Zack follow a similar line of thought. It took Cloud/Zack nearly a week to go check on his colleague. A week without sleeping, eating, or drinking. It's kind of mind-boggling, until you remember that his "Sephiroth was in a different league" also meant that in Zack's/Cloud's perspective, human norms didn't apply to him, and the idea of physical and mental deterioration due to stress, starvation or lack of sleep never ever occurred to them.
It's sad really. Sephiroth's reputation fueled by ShinRA marketing rendered him “beyond human” long before Gast’s revelations in the project records did. Even people like Zack, who worked with him on and off for years seemingly couldn't imagine that he, too, had human limits.
#sephiroth#ff7#ffvii#ffvii rebirth#ffvii remake#nibelheim#final fantasy 7#ff7 remake#final fantasy 7 rebirth#final fantasy vii rebirth#ffvii@luv fandoms
342 notes
·
View notes
Text
something something “you know me better than anyone has ever known me” something something “I loved you. best I could”, something something Familiarity breeds contempt, relationships as self-context, someone who knows your past may be in the worst spot to understand your potential for change, emotional inertia, cycles of abuse, so on—
A lot of people think Izzy is fooling himself with that line. And sure, Izzy Hands didn’t know that Ed killed his own dad. But Izzy knew Ed wasn’t actually fine, after Stede left. He wasn’t getting *better* with the depression robe and the singing. He was just running, again. From himself, his actions, his emotions. Again. And Izzy has lived through *decades* of Ed pulling that kind of shit, of deflections and obfuscation. He miscalculated, yeah. But Ed wasn’t going to get better if Izzy had just kept his mouth shut. Something was going to set him off, sooner or later. Because Ed still hasn’t grown from the guy who sets people on fire and has them skinned with oyster forks then slumps through weeks long depression cycles.
Nothing about Ed and Stede’s first relationship actually forced Ed into confronting his own self-compartmentalization (and boy can a bitch compartmentalize. The Kraken, Izzy being the one to kill him in the dream, Hornigold, who he was with Jack, Jeff the accountant, just Ed—babygirl at some point you are going to have to decide who you are if you ever stand a chance of getting what you want). They were going to run away to China because it meant NEITHER of them had to deal with being the people who have done what they’ve done. If Stede and Ed had made it off that island together then they wouldn’t have grown.
On the flip side, Izzy was never going to be able to save Ed from himself because their relationship was static before meeting Stede. They’ve been together for so long that nothing Izzy says *counts* as new input (the first genuinely surprising thing Izzy ever does in-show is surviving killing himself). Iz is an extension of Ed, which is why he’s subject to torture and derision and punishment in a way no one else was. Ed fucking HATES himself. Izzy is a part of him.
So, yeah. Ed loved Izzy the BEST that he could love himself—poorly, mercilessly, as willing to hack off parts of Izzy’s body as he was entire facets of his own personality and history. So Izzy was never going to pull Ed out of the suicidal pit he’s been in for years. Knowledge, knowing someone, that doesn’t mean insight. Izzy’s so close to Ed that their perspective is practically a perfect overlay. There’s no new angles, no way to see where the light could shine through.
That’s why Ed needed Stede. The complete and total lack of context allowed Stede to take Ed as he was, to question him and force Ed to ask questions of himself that Izzy simply was not capable of. Ed is a social chameleon—he changes himself constantly to fit the image he thinks other people have of him. Stede refuses to provide the Blackbeard scaffold. There’s no context to cling to, no familiar script to follow. Stede has his own narratives and pre-conceived notions, but they’re NEW.
Context, perspective—you need both to get a whole image of a person. Maybe Stede and Izzy working together this season will finally be enough to help Ed see himself in a light that allows him to love what he sees in the mirror.
670 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, speaking as an anime viewer
I think it's very interesting how starkly Laios and Kabru's strengths are inversely parallel? In everything except (I am assuming) culinary interest, Kabru is about people the way Laios is about monsters. His analysis of the Touden party is obviously biased, but the fact that he was able to narrow the mystery adventurers down to them so quickly when Laios clearly has no fucking idea who else is working the dungeon is notable. And demonstrating his knowledge of his own people with the same kind of snap battlefield analysis that makes Laios so effective against monsters? Chef's kiss.
But on the other hand, it's clear by now that our main party's great strength is how they're all, in different ways, extremely in tune with the dungeon. The ecosystem, the infrastructure, the historical and arcane context - honestly, the "eat what we find" gambit depends on a perspective that views the dungeon as an inherently productive and dynamic system.
And Kabru just completely lacks that. He seems to view the dungeon entirely as an obstacle to overcome, by brute force if possible; he explicitly says that he thinks it's morally wrong to enter the dungeon for any reason other than to neutralize it or to cull monsters on a large and deliberate scale. And like, he had a point about the corrupt body collectors... but I'm not sure he has enough of a point to justify executing the entire group and purposefully dumping their bodies in a way that would prevent retrieval and resurrection, trapping their ghosts indefinitely.
So, at least Laios understands that he's bad with people and makes an honest effort to connect with them anyway. Kabru views the dungeon as inherently hostile and his lack of understanding is actively making the environment worse. Neither of them currently has any business assuming more authority than "leader of an adventuring party," but Laios at least has demonstrated a willingness to improve.
#like i said i haven't read the manga although i am aware of some stuff from tumblr osmosis#so like be gentle i guess#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#laios touden
264 notes
·
View notes
Note
I had this interesting scenario where Vox one day becomes exhausted from his rivalry with Alastor after realizing that the one-sided interactions were becoming old.
He later meets the reader (who can also be a part of the hotel) who starts hacking into Voxtech's database to troll the company for shits and giggles. This catches Vox's attention and he's pissed about it. You can do what you want for the rest but they continue to have this rivalry to the point where it's very well known around hell. From an outside perspective, there is just back-and-forth angry banter but there are moments where they're just;
Reader: *appears on screen* Hey Box head, guess who found some good blackmail with your name on it-
Vox: *Is so close to having a breakdown, he had a bad week.*
Reader: Oh shit- did something happen, are you okay? 😰
They hate each other but they don't hate hate each other. This can be taken as platonic or romantic.
I sent this request to someone else but I wanted to share anyway.
Vox x troll/hacker reader: Why So Blue? (Oneshot/concept version)
Why So Blue fic Masterlist
A/N me when I get to write Vox getting utterly humiliated by a troll-y hacker demon 🫶
I changed about the order of stuff as things happen a bit and took creative liberties with this one - sorry if it's really different then the thought you originally had.
(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED, THIS WAS FROM THE LAST TIME THEY WERE OPEN)
Update: This was really well-received, and several people have requested a part 2. I've decided that I will be writing it properly from the start in a proper chapter kind of way rather than in this format so it makes continuity kind of work better rather then the drabbl-y format used here.
Cw: SFW, romantic, enemy's to lovers type beat, references to one-sided radiostatic, also references to staticmoth, mildly suggestive in one part 💀, gn reader, mostly light-hearted - idk if it qualifies as quite hurt/comfort lmao
- It was just a normal morning for Vox when you first showed up.
- As usual, he booted up for the day, got changed out of his casual clothes, and made his morning coffee.
- As he walked into his computer room, absentmindedly sipping his coffee while looking at his phone, he sits down in his desk.
- Then promptly spits out his mouthful.
- When he finally looks up at the screens around him, he's mortified to see a muted video of himself passionately (and very drunkly) singing and dancing horribly from last night while he was out with Valentino and Velvette.
- Posted on Sinstagram from his own account.
- Hundreds of comments flooded in underneath it; laughing, saying it's cute, complimenting his singing, and talking about the caption underneath with curiosity.
- The caption reads; 'For someone who talks so big about being ahead technologically, it was awfully easy to hack old Boxy here LMAO'
- Vox flips out instantly.
- It doesn't take long to take down the post, change all of his details, and post an official apology for his lack of professionalism with a hypnotising message to forget the whole incident occurred at all. He also does a massive comb over for any other breaches and changes all of his systems to be even more impenetrable to a potional attack.
- He calms down, and the incident fades away to the back of his mind.
- But then it happens again.
- Another morning, an employee is rushing into his studio as he wakes up properly, telling him this time that someone is somehow broadcasting Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' to the entirety of hell at 6 am, interrupting every one of the scheduled programs.
- There's a message in big letters on the bottom of every screen in hell, under the god forsaken video and song playing, saying, "What is love~? - U" Underneath them.
- And that's how it starts, the infuriating thorn in Vox's side that is 'U'. No matter how hard he tries, you're constantly undermining his efforts to keep you out of the system and tormenting him in ways that aren't necessarily malignant but are extremely damaging to his image as the overlord of technology.
- For some reason, he's the only Vee you seem hellbent on coming after as well. Vel finds your pranks funny or cute when they don't inconvenience her, and Valentino just likes to prod Vox into getting angrier further.
- He just cannot work out what your motivations are at all. Is it truly that you just want to piss him off? He doesn't understand why someone with such clear skills would simply use them to taunt him and leave him messages to unveil as he undoes whatever you do.
- It vexes him even farther when these messages from you that you leave for him to decode start to sound borderline flirtatious, which makes him feel all the more humiliated.
- He is a grown demon, skilled businessman and entrepreneur, an overlord, and yet you insist upon calling him things like Box, Boxbabe, Boxbitch, and even babygirl of all things for some goddamn reason.
- The back and forth goes on for months, and 'U' quickly becomes a long lasting meme, several people, much to Vox's horror, shipping you two together and even partaking in ship wars as to whether Vox x 'U' is better then Vox x Val.
- Theres one day where Vox quickly puts his phone down after reading a rather concerning expert from what is certainly explicit fanfiction between the two of you, even him deciding that that's enough internet for today while just sitting staring off into space silently for a solid 10 seconds.
- Vox's sleepless nights pouring over his code to try and keep out your attacks, him glitching out whenever he finds infuriating messages left by you, etc. Begin to become routine and he just anticipates the consistent blows to his pride you give him at every turn.
- A weird, unconscious part of him deep down begins to enjoy your rivalry, almost wanting to see what punches you pull out next to disarm his constant losing battle to keep you out, but it gets squashed down the second he becomes aware of it.
- The rivalry is always at arms length, but sometimes he has to stop himself from replying with the same vaguely flirtatious tone you take on whenever he experiences a small win against you.
- He fights to make sure he doesn't have any potential of getting too into it.
- Things take a different turn, though, with the double blow of Alastor coming back and his on-off relationship with Valentino once again going up in flames.
- After stopping his usual monitoring of all things going on in hell online and in real life as picked up by his cameras, he presses his face into his hands with a long, exhausted groan as he fights crying.
- All the people he was actually interested in were as unrequited as per usual. He always tried so hard with Alastor, but as always, he never got anything but met with the clear reminder they would never be anything more.
- And, of course, any potential of anything more happening with Val was completely off the table. It would be stupid to even think about anything real with him.
- He shut his eyes, putting his screen on the desk in front of him.
- Was he just not worth it? Was that it?
- He startled when he heard the familiar crackle of the speakers coming to life around him. It was rare he ever heard your voice coming through his speakers, you usually preferring to just leave messages, however you decided to surprise him tonight apparently.
- Your blurred out face appears on the screens, only showing the lower half of your grinning face.
- "Oh Boooooxybooooy! I found some world-shattering cringey shit you did 2 months back, i-" You begin singing out, before stopping, seeing by his expression.
- Vox was trembling, looking as if he was about fall apart at any second. His monitor was dulled, red eyes half lidded with pixelated bags forming under them, his bottom lip slightly quivering around his sharp teeth.
- "What the- fuck- ....are you alright?" You asked unsurely.
- Vox finally snapped out of it, realising that you were here witnessing him in a way that was very much not something he wanted you of all people to see him in. His mask slid back on, but it was hardly convincing.
- "Of course it is. What the fuck do you wa-ant. I've got shit to do." He inwardly cursed as his voice glitched slightly. God fucking dammit why did you have to show up.
- He watched your lips on your mostly blurred out face slightly curl as you hummed, clearly not buying it.
- "You wanna stop with the lying bullshit and tell me the truth, Boxhead?" You somewhat chided him, your hand coming into sight as you leaned your cheek onto it. Vox let out a growling sound, going to spit some vitriol at you, but was cut off as you absentmindedly made your next comment.
"Felt you once again have a fit about the radio demon going online. Lights in my house and the houses out my windows started flashing and shit. Is it hi-" your brows shot up and eyes widened, this hidden behind the censorship as you watched Vox, leader of the Vees, your rival, let out a shuddering breath and actually start crying comically pixilated tears right before your eyes.
- Vox's claws gripped into his desk as he grit his teeth as he let out a gasping breath he fought to stifle. He was so goddamn exhausted that he just couldn't be assed to keep it all up anymore. It wasn't like you hadn't seen rather unsavoury things he'd been trying to hide anyways.
- "No shit it's about Alastor. It's always about him. Does it get you off knowing I can't get with the guy I have always wanted no matter how hard I try? There. Are you fucking happy now?" His voice cracks as he snarls the words out at you.
- You let out a long humming sound, as if thinking. "I mean, not really. I'd only be happy if you were this upset over me, not some old hazbin radio announcer who fell off years ago." You shrug with a slightly sad smile.
- Vox squinted at you, confused.
- "I mean, come on, I'm your rival too. Why neglect me so much in all this?" You press your bottom lip out in mock sadness, tone mocking again. Your words are true despite the joking tone however, it did bother you that he always seemed so much more ready to go running after the most obviously aroace man you think you had seen in your entire fucking life.
- Vox couldn't believe what he was hearing, hot embarrassment caused his monitor to start heating up a bit, painting animated flush over his cheeks. "Oh, stop taking the piss, U. Fuck off." He scoffed, rolling his eyes, looking to the side in irritation.
- You chuckle at him, shaking your head and causing the thing blurring your face to shake with it. "Is it really that hard to believe I'm into what we have going on here?" Your voice is still lined with the usual tone you take on with him, but much less so.
- Vox looks back at your blurred, smiling face incredulously. "Yes." He growled, blinking his tears away as he regained his composure a bit.
- You sigh heavily, rolling your eyes. "Ooookay, well, once you're done riding the coattails of a man who will never want you, come hit me up, Boxhead." You say through smiling lips, before abruptly pressing 'hang up' on the call so he didn't have time to actually respond.
- Vox sat in bewildered silence, not able to react properly as his brain felt as if it was working on low resolution comprehending what you just said.
- His face heated up the more he thought about it, heart beginning to hammer in his chest as he laughed in disbelief. No way. No fucking way.
- But you had said it.
- Despite his usual pessimistic nature, he allowed himself to actually believe it, chuckling.
- He looked over to his phone as a notification sound rang out to see a photo of himself presumably just now; flustered, eyes wide in disbelief and unfocused while staring off into space, a crooked grin on his face.
- It was captioned as follows; 'POV: local pathetic radio simp finds out other rival actually wants him'
- "FUCK." He yelled out in embarrassment, knocking out several of his monitors with a surge of electricity.
I loved writing this sm omfggg.
There's definitely part 2 potential to this one, but it would have to be in a while w all the other stuff I'm gonna get to first.
Masterlist
382 notes
·
View notes
Text
I like this duality I’ve noticed; Philip and by extension Jacob Hopkins insist aloud that they’re the Good Guy and how Camila calls this out as a red flag in and of itself, actually indicating they’re the Bad Guy. Hopkins in particular serves as a decent summation of Philip at his core; A man child deliberately out of touch with the reality around him, in order to entertain a flattering fantasy where he is the one who is more aware than the rest of these sheeple about this hidden threat among the Other that is absolutely there for him to defeat.
By contrast, Luz constantly asks and interrogates herself on whether she’s the Bad Guy, and it’s that self reflection, that willingness to consider other perspectives and view herself from them, that keeps Luz from becoming that; It’s what reassures those around her that she is indeed the Good Guy, because she is harboring no delusions that she necessarily is.
But critical examination is also there to give you conviction now that you are certain; After a constant, gaslighting crisis of ambiguity fed by Belos, the Titan doesn’t give Luz a “Maybe, if, under these circumstances” answer. He gives Luz what she really needs to hear, some much-needed certainty, by reassuring her that for whatever similarities she may have had with Belos, she is NOT him.
Because Luz is actually willing to critically examine herself, respect others’ perspectives and boundaries, and is ultimately approaching from a place of actual good intent where she wants people to be happy, included in, and contributing to a kinder world, instead of preferring removing them from the equation as a solution. Casting them out as rejects first; In the end, that’s just something people decide for themselves by refusing to co exist with others.
But Luz will always have open arms for those who are sincere about changing, and besides; She’s still a victim of abuse, she’s no Christian and is entitled to some anger and lack of forgiveness; There’s a lot to be said about performative niceness vs actual kindness. Those boundaries aren’t what could’ve made her evil.
2K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
damcollective
The Denver Art Museum Collective
caspermason-blog
Casper Mason
itzdex12
DEX
jimseungdol
!짐승돌 up in the SKY!