When we got a small little background snippet of Nico yelling Bianca’s name but now I don’t know what to do with myself bc he sounds so little and precious and we’re gonna have to watch him lose everything in a couple years

so in my spider! Bernard AU I’m slightly changing up his character so here’s basics on Bernard:

- Bernard is still into cooking and it started years back purely because he didn’t trust the food industry. that meant he spent ages learning how to cook and figuring out how to make a lot of popular food items. he has a little list of companies he trusts and doesn’t. he doesn’t want to open a restaurant anymore/become a chef, more so being interested in keeping himself and others healthy

- Bernard knows a freaky amount of things he probably shouldn’t but masks knowing said knowledge with his conspiracy theories (he only believes in like half of them) so to most people he’s just a crazy guy saying crazy things. he still ends up being on a few watchlists so he tries to throw those off by also being a conspiracist online (he also truly enjoys it, but that’s an added bonus)

- Bernard’s actually really smart but due to above as well as a lack of giving a shit about school material (he prefers scientific what ifs and weapon/super hero/vigilante stuff) so he ended up not being able to get into the courses he would’ve preferred due to his mostly average grades. it’s why he’s now double majoring in physics and biology in hopes of getting to do a masters in something closer to that (also a bit of pressure from his parents)

- Bernard has had suit designs for himself and other vigilantes just lying around (which is also how he got a pretty functional suit in a pretty short amount of time). it was mostly a hobby where he’d think about what if scenarios

- Bernard when possible does everything on paper, since he doesn’t trust the government and other big corporations. it’s why his empty apartment has stacks of paper laying around (all neatly categorized and sealed, but it looks like a mess to anyone else)

- kinda in the same vein as the last one but Bernard has most of his money in cash, only having what is absolutely necessary on his bank account. he also claims it saves him money since he can’t just freely spend money with a tap of his card (it’s kind of true since when he had to spend money for his suit he actually had most of it lying around)

- Bernard had a short phase in high school that had him convinced he needed to learn russian so he can now speak a bit of russian, but most importantly he can do the accent really well. it’s what he used as spiderman to throw people off of his identity (it gives Tim a genuine headache)

- Bernard works a part time job at a restaurant as an assistant chef (he needs to buy groceries and pay rent after all). it’s a little italian diner a few blocks from his apartment. he always get leftovers and food that’s about to spoil to reduce their waste

I don’t know if I missed anything important, but this is basically going to be my characterization on him! if you have any suggestions or can point to canon that directly conflicts with these ideas pls lmk! I’m always up to revise my stuff :)

Omggg i loved you're middle eastern ask could you maybe make something similar with an Italian reader, only if ur okay with it tho 😊

Gang Members React to Italian!GN!Reader

gif by; @purpledragongifs

masterlist; here

a/n; it’s no problem! ty for your patience. i actually took italian as a language class for a couple of years, so some of the italian is from me :-) also there will likely not be a part two to this because there’s a lot going on in my life rn, t i’ll put my whole soul into this!!

included members; arthur, john, charles, javier.

———————————

Arthur Morgan

He isn’t really too affected by your accent, spending enough time in Saint Denis got him used to Italian accents. One thing he never got a good grasp on was your language; English isn’t his strong suit either, so don’t be surprised when you speak Italian and he questions you.

After Sean nearly blew your head off, you screamed, “Impara a mirare, stronzo!” In an angry tone. Arthur looked at you as if you had two heads. “Say what now?”

Arthur likes hearing about the different dishes you’ve had in the past, how different the food is from the States compared to Italy. Of course, there aren’t many differences, but some dishes that are called the same thing aren’t too similar.

He listens to your rants; your angry ones, your confused ones, everything.

“Lasagna here is very different than the lasagna back home!!”

He sees your reactions to culture clashes in real time and he thinks it’s a bit funny. When you greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and then did the same thing to Tilly, he was confused.

After you explain the culture side of it, he understands. Arthur lets you do it to him as a greeting and a goodbye afterwards.

Arthur is used to hearing Italian, but he never learned it as a whole besides the basic phrases. I imagine he never learns how to properly speak it, but he learns to understand it to an extent.

John Marston

He thinks your anger is funny. He thinks your accent is funny. Very very funny. Your accent tends to get thicker when you aren’t thinking about it, so he can’t contain his laughter.

John is used to your accent, but still finds it funny nonetheless. He doesn’t understand a lick of what you say in Italian, but he tries to guess by your tone.

“Vai a farti fottere, Dutch…” “You said what now??”

John is a little dense, so he doesn’t care much about the conversation for food but your family is very big on the food; you can’t help but follow in their footsteps and force John to try some when you’re able to make it.

That being said, there’s a lot of food you grew up with that he didn’t.

“What the hell is.. Spaghetti??”

“Lasagna?” — He complete pronounces it wrong as well, somehow….

When you first greeted him in such a.. personal way, he short-circuited. He didn’t know that you did not mean it in a flirty way until Arthur smacked him upside the head, teasing him. “Those wolves truly did eat all your brains huh, Marston??”

He never learns to speak your language, nor does he learn to understand it. Except when you swear- he knows what that means because I can imagine a lot of your anger is directed towards him when he does something stupid.

John is stupid and he teases you, but overall he enjoys when you embrace yourself.

Charles Smith

He, like the others, isn’t really too affected by your accent. Him and Javier are naturally more respectful to your traditions, your language, your foods.

Charles likes hearing your language. I can imagine he also has a problem, has a hard time grasping your language but it’s because of the environment you two remain to be in.

Like John, he begins to understand a lot of phrases. He learned a lot of Javier’s phrases as well. Charles can’t speak Italian, but he sure can understand you.. most of the time.

You have little patience for some people and it concerns him. Not your behavior, but he gets concerned for the people you get angry towards. (Except Micah.)

You two take some time to talk about dishes together and traditions. Due to how Charles was raised and how his childhood went, he isn’t the most educated on his own culture but he shares what he knows.

He takes the time to listen to your culture and traditions. Charles was shocked at your greetings, but he soon got used to it when you explained it to him. I can imagine you two spend a lot of time together, a unexplainable bond. As well as Javier.

After meeting Angelo Bronte, he joked that maybe you are also controlling Saint Denis. That’s when you explain the Mafia crime families that control different areas. (He’s concerned on how you know all of this, but he doesn’t question it.)

Javier Escuella

He is likely to have the least obvious reaction to your accent. Maybe a remark at first with a tease, but he knows how it is when someone makes it a big deal. Especially during these times.

Like Charles, you two get along pretty well. Surrounded by people who don’t speak your native language, who don’t share your culture and traditions, it’s pretty obvious why you and him flocked together; some sort of familiarity, even if you don’t share the same exact traditions (although they are similar).

Italian and Spanish are highly similar languages so I can imagine there’s some confusion surrounding some of the words. Your cultures are a bit similar which leads you to go down conversations of comparison and jokes about who’s is better.

Javier teases you a lot, purposely getting on your nerves. He knows when too much is too much, but in a way like John, he finds your anger funny.

He gets nervous when you get into it with Micah, but hearing your angry Italian after the fact is 100% worth it.

zoro and sanji learning another language for you . .

˚₊ ꒰ nightmare fuel 𝄁︎ suggestive themes and implied talking stage (specifically w/ sanji) so partially nsfw. zoro’s a little longer because he’s just… a stubborn mess.

˚₊ ꒰ word count 𝄁︎ 1061.

˚₊ ꒰ key 𝄁︎ y/n is the white texts and zoro + sanji are the blue texts.

˚₊ ꒰ sen’s statement(s) 𝄁︎ baby i used translators and a few sites for this shit so don’t word me on anything. if it ain’t spanish i can’t manage.

˚₊ ꒰ translations 𝄁︎ angioletto, little angel. grazie, signore, thank you, sir. mio caro, my dear. amore mio, my love.

☪︎︎ just imagine the same situation going on with sanji but with a language such as italian. most likely he's learning another to impress you since you're oso interested in different languages and is pretty thrilled with the idea of him speaking french. although learning another language isn't easy, anyone could've told him that, but it is a bit frustrating while speaking or pronouncing everything with a french lilt.

☪︎︎ shortening his vowels naturally, adding more stress to the last syllable, silencing any h words, you name it. still, it was worth the praise coming from you, seeing as each time he presents to you a new word, you cheer him on and let him know that the french accent he possesses makes it more interesting. intense emphasis on the word interesting, resulting in him becoming a blushing, stuttering, and an absolute thanking mess.

☪︎︎ as he got the hang of it, he'd use it more daily, whether it was reviewing former words, impressing others, or referring to simple objects in that specific language. he even saw it as an advantageous situation to tease you a bit since of course, you adored the way the man sounded regardless.

"ah, here. please, let me get that for you, angioletto," with a deceptive smile contrasting his devious actions, which was brushing away leftover sauce on the corner of your mouth with a napkin, an obvious reason just to also gradually brush against your plumped, fairly glossed lips, he leaned in closer to "examine" the minor mess you've created while eating. surely it was nothing a small lick could've saved, but this was also a chance to take your beauty into account personally while somewhat flustering you during the process at the sudden act of courtesy and italian to adorn.

☪︎︎ regardless, this is still you we're speaking of, so there's absolutely no way you've condoned this behavior without any mental strain or compensation. if he wants to tease, you will find a way to hit him twice as hard. so, instead of allowing his actions to proceed, you gave him a generous "grazie, signore" with a slight grin slowly appearing on your face. needless to say, he had no idea you were familiar with the language, but what he did know is that he had five seconds to find his handkerchief before he suffered from another unwanted nose blee-oh dear, seems to be too late ...

"reminds me, you should enlighten me. tell me how much you've learned, mio caro, so i can praise you for all your hard work…”

“oh-why of course, mon amour-erm, excuse me, amore mio. j-just give me one second to get ready, alright?!" quickly, still suffering from the severe nose bleed that managed to get worse after your puckish message, he jumped up from his seat, practically tripping over the legs of the chair as he pressed the cloth against his leaking nose.

˚₊ ꒰ translations 𝄁︎ neoneun gachang jeongerokui saramiya, you are the most passionate person. saranghaeyo dangsin, i love you, dear. geu saranghae haeseoga bichihaeyo, my love for you will never lessen.

☪︎︎ frankly, zoro wouldn't be interested in learning another language seeing as it wouldn't be beneficial for him personally. he's already bilingual as it is, knowing fluent japanese and all, so there's no point in learning another. so, the only reason why he's taking it, as assumed, out of pure malice. not only sanji rubbed it in that he now has the upper hand claiming that there's another thing he surpasses him in out of million, but you also egged it on simply because you know zoro will be motivated spiteful enough to learn another language as well. you have such a way with words, really ...

☪︎︎ zoro's not interested enough to learn another language that's nowhere near as similar to japanese, therefore he took the time to learn korean. it's like a spanish speaker moving on to french or italian seeing as there's some similarities involved. similar to sanji, his pronunciations are inaccurate due to his accent. the main thing that kept him going is that the korean alphabet is shorter than the japanese, for the reason that it only consists of 14 consonants and 10 vowels. it was a piece a cake. besides, who would zoro be if he were to turn down a little challenge, let alone admitting that it was too hard for him?

☪︎︎ he'd definitely wasn't wooing you with words at first since you indeed prayed on his downfall so he insulted you in the language just to prove that he's capable. full on sentences as you were pouring yourself a midnight drink with a snack to embellish tuning out the swordsman's arrogance that refused to stop pouring from his stupid mouth. it's a bit amusing at the end of the day, considering that he was the one that went this far just to prove a point. then you would just call him tractable or predictable because of his behavior.

"neoneun gachang jeongerokui saramiya.” sarcastically and annoyingly, you quickly interrupted his antics before his behavior actually took a toll on your patience. really, it's hard to inure someone as conceited as him, but you love humbling people so that's why the two of you work so terrible well together. he was… oddly smug-looking at your words, finally satisfied with his listening prowess and your bombastic side eye. he even folded his herculean arms over his pillowy chest, unintentionally squishing them against them causing them to perk up a bit. he seemed to understand more than you thought…

“awh, how sweet of you. thanks for—”

“saranghaeyo dangsin.” you cut him off arrogantly, both seeing if he could understand and wanting his reaction, which was priceless. his brows were now furrowed with an incredulous, let alone judgmental stare. he was going to respond, but you, once again, interrupted him while walking up to him with a puckish titter. “geu saranghae haeseoga bichi-”

☪︎︎ then he would stop you before you go on a sudden rant, palming your face with his robust hand before pushing you away with a peeved groan and flushed look. it was a miracle that he actually took his time to comprehend so much, which you also plan on taunting him about later. right after he gets his big ass hand from off your face…

“jeez, the hell’s gotten into you? gotten all soft on me like that lovesick (sanji) dumbass…”

© all rights reserved 𝄁︎ sencity. plagiarism will not be tolerated on this blog but addressed and chastised accordingly.

We put him through the wringer, but the cat is a clinger. It's time to take the keys and let out the fluff please. Can we get some comforting headcannons for New York? :)

[this was terrible I am sorry]

I suppose the baby can have a break <3

So- NY falls and/or stumbles a lot, so anybody he’s close to is literally ALWAYS ready to catch or grab him whether he knows/likes it or not

He has like- the most adorable zoned-out face ever- it just screams *no thoughts. only baby. can do no wrong*

Florida put catnip in his coffee once (this has happened more than once-) and they ended up with a playful-then-cuddly NY

whenever he’s REALLY sleepy, he will have a slight Dutch accent present in his voice.

And if someone’s trying to get him up whilst he’s sleeping, he’ll just make grumbly little angy kitten noises

He can and will climb on everything and he’s good at it too. One of his favorite places to chill is at the top of this GIANT tree that is in the backyard of the statehouse. He’s dragged his brothers up there against their wills on multiple occasions.

^that tree also happens to be where he runs to if he’s being chased by one of his brothers. And it’s usually Mass that is chasing him, but Mass can’t climb trees. So he calls either one of the other brothers, or he calls Texas or someone that CAN climb up and get York. The poor baby TnT

It brings him a ton of joy whenever an animal walks into the room. Even if it means he gets tackled and attacked with kisses by NJ’s dogs (Mar is a boxer, and Murrie is a German shepherd) <3. He will giggle and smile the entire time and the hearts of anyone watching will melt instantly.

speaking of him giggling- this mf has like- the cutest damn laugh EVER- his brothers and friends will do literally anything to hear it-

a lot of the stuffed animals he has have weird teeth marks on them cuz he would always bite them for some reason-

Okay- so apparently the guy (Keith David) that sung “Friends On The Other Side” (from Princess and the Frog) so- I can picture NY randomly noticing that Loui is a tad bit…. Off I guess. And it happens to be a karaoke night, so he sings “Friends On The Other Side” perfectly and can’t help but smile when Loui’s face lights up with happiness cuz Princess and The Frog is his fav Disney princess movie 😭😭

It’s pretty much canon at this point that York steals his older brothers’ clothes and they’re always big on him despite him being the tallest right? Kk.

he doodles on literally any piece of paper he has with him, even some of his state work will have little doodles of cats riding skateboards in the corner.

this boy has most definitely dragged his brothers outside if it had snowed overnight and there was a bunch of snow on the ground, and his brothers are fine with it at this point. Why? Cuz they’ll get a rare phenomenon known as a Cold Cuddly Yorkie after.

York has 100% walked into one of his brother’s rooms, stood in the doorway, knocked something over, and just ran away while they’re like- "👁️👄👁️💢"

his brothers will bug him while he is laying on the ground or something by wiggling their finger above his face just to see him paw at them like a cat

due to the cultural diversity in his state, I like to believe that York speaks several languages and has very little to no struggle in switching from language to language, tho he speaks Dutch and Italian the best.

York is one of the jumpiest people you’ll ever meet and he gets jumpscared so easily. Sometimes one of his brothers or friends will come up behind him and grab his sides to scare him

Pls let him infodump 🙏 he will tolerate you for all of eternity. Trust 🙏🙏🙏

Mafia Boss- Thomas Shelby x Reader pt 2

✩summary: The Shelby knew this girl when she was very little. However, when her mother passed away (at 16) everything changed and everyone drifted away from each other. Now after seven years Veronica is a mafia boss in her fathers business. Her father. sent her to Birmingham on business, will this play off well?

✩pairings:girl named Veronica(POC) x Thomas Shelby

✩warnings: none

--------------------------------------------------------

My name is Veronica Mercy Hawthorn. I'm 23 years old, and like I said before, I’m a mafia boss, well, kind of. I run this whole business, basically. Anything my father wants or needs to do, he runs it by me, so like I said, I’m the mafia boss, and I’ve been one since I was eighteen years old. When my grandfather passed away, my father took over this whole business, but he wasn't really as smart for it, so I took over, although I still have to run certain things by him.

I’m living in upstate New York in my townhouse and working in my office. My office is huge. It has mahogany walls, dark gray chairs, and a brown desk. I have off-white floors and plants in the corners of my room. My desk is kind of big, and my chair is looks like one of those villain chairs. The room kind of looks like a presidential room, I have two bodyguards outside of the room and my black doberman by my side at all times. He’s only trained on my commands and no one else's; his name is Salome.

As I’m typing away on my MacBook, my cell phone rings, and it’s my father. I pick it up urgently.

“Yes”, I say it with a British accent.

"Veronica I need you to go somewhere for me, honey."

"Where father?" I saw nonchalant.

"Birmingham, I need you to go there for business. I need you to work with two gangs", he says over the phone.

My concern rises as he says, The town. I grew up in the town where Tommy is: Polly, John, Arthur, Finn, and Ada. I went silent on the phone with him. I’m still worried about me never visiting my mothers grave and being away from the Shelbys. My father never let me contact them, and after a while, I was always scared to give them a simple call.

“Dear, please, I need someone over there so we can keep eyes on the Vermonts and so we also work with the Peaky Blinders.” He said it in a harsh Italian accent.

In curiosity, I say, “Who's that?"

"You’ll see who it is, and you’ll be quite happy.” sounded optimistic. I hear a faint voice in the back say “No, she won’t", It was my eldest brother, Ambrose.

I turn my head in confusion and ask, "Why won’t I?’

"Uh anyways… I already bought your condo, new clothes, and a plane ticket there. You’ll have a butler, a driver, and security guards in the building and walking with you. Okay? Bye, dear," my father says in a hurry. I didn’t even get a word in.

ONE WEEK LATER

I said my goodbyes to my family as Salome and I boarded the private jet and went off to Birmingham. I thought about what was going to happen when I got there, especially seeing Thomas again the thought of him gave me butterflies in my stomach. I wonder if he still looks the same and if he still talked the same. A loud ringing sound blared in the air. Salome peered up at me with caution, looking down at my phone, I picked up my phone to see my father calling.

“Hey, dear, did you find out who the leader is yet?” My father said, teasing me.

"Why can’t you just fucking tell me?” I say it aggressively to my father because he knows who he is; he’s just being coy.

"I want you to find out. Now when you go to your condo, there is a dress handing on the door, one Ambrose picked out and one I picked out. You can choose."

I sighed. "What is this for?"

“There's a party at the house where the leader of the Peaky Blinders lives. You need to be there at seven p.m. You're two hours away from Birmingham and an hour away from the house you're going to."

"Fine", I say as I’m pulling out my laptop, realizing I don’t have a lot of time to figure out who she or he is.

"okay…" I hung up on my father. quickly, sick of his bullshit.

I try to find this so-called "leader” of the Peaky Blinders, but I can't find him anywhere, it's like he’s invisible. I went through every security camera ever, and all I see is his back turned away from the cameras. As I tried to go deeper in my search, one of the captains on the plane said on the speaker, "Landing time in five minutes". I stopped working and put my laptop in my bag and I start getting Salome ready to leave the private yard by putting on his leash.

As the plane landed. I was greeted by one of my drivers. He looked tall, scary, had curly hair, and maybe was Hispanic. He was in a black suit with black sunglasses on his face. Me and Salome walked him. I got greeted by him. “Hello, madam," he said in a husky Americanized voice.

"hello..?" I paused, raising my eyebrow waiting for him to give me his name.

He reached out his hand, waiting for me to shake it. “Oh, uh, Dante, I’ll be your personal driver and bodyguard in Birmingham."

“Ok, well, hello, Dante," I say as I painted a smile on my face.

He opens the door for me, and I get in the black BMW anxiously. I couldn’t believe I was back here in Birmingham I’m excited but also scared about it.

I finally got to this luxurious building in London. It kind of looked like the Four Seasons, but fancier and huge. It has this prestigious yet Victorian architecture. The whole building is an off-white color, and the roof is a dark gray color. It's also built like a Romanian castle; it's magical yet mysterious.

The car door opened in a swift motion as I got out of the car, with Salome following me.

“Welcome, madam," Dante said with a faint grin on his face.

"Thank you, Dante," I said as I entered the building. As I was walking in, I was greeted by two security guards in front of the door and an old guy at the front desk.

"Veronica Hawthorn, right? “The old man said with a hard English accent.

“Yes, it is," I said with a big smile, being respectful.

“Ok, Veronica, here's your room key; it's on the third floor, madam." He handed me my key, and I grabbed it from his hand.

"Thank you, sir," I say. I tuned around to the two security guards in a swift motion and said, "You have my bags, yes, gentlemen." I demanded as I entered the elevator.

I went upstairs to my suit, settling down a little bit. I unlocked the room and walked inside. It looked like a basic condo, and I was expecting a lot more. A big room, a walk-in closet, a big bathroom, a living room, a big office, a big kitchen, a dining room, and some paintings on the wall—it looks nice but basic.

I sat in the office at my desk, doing more work before the party. I go through more security cameras to see who the hell is the leader of this gang is. I searched and searched until I found it. I found a mugshot that was hidden in some files not even one mugshot it was multiple.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled to myself in awe of what I just found.

I started furiously calling my father on the phone, irritated and upset by what I just found out.

My father picked up the phone. "Hey dea-"

I stopped him mid-sentence and screamed, "THOMAS FUCKING SHELBY DAD, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

"I thought you would be happy," my father said, surprised.

"Are you fucking with me dad? “as a grave expression appeared on my face

"So the party I’m going to and the business I’m getting into are Shelby?"

“Yes”, he said bluntly.

"Oh fuck off” I hung up on him, not letting him get a single word in.

“what a piece of shit”, I muttered to myself as I got up to go get ready for this party.

Some Alfred and Alexia Ashford headcanons, but not related to twincest.

Sure! And you know what? I wanted to do some general headcanons for a while anyway.

Alfred

His full name is Alfred Edward Arthur Hamish Ashford.

Alfred’s IQ as an adult is high enough to be considered a genius.

Alfred likes his coffee black with a bit of sugar. He prefers tea to coffee, though.

He’s an early bird, he likes to get up early and go to bed early. However, in reality, Alfred usually gets up early, goes to bed late, and is often somewhat sleep deprived. Sometimes, he takes a nap in his office when he is too tired.

He tried to grow a beard once, which ended after a couple of weeks with some stubbles here and there. Nothing you could consider a beard. He has very little body hair in general.

He studied business administration and graduated as the best student of the year.

He’s a walking war and military history book.

Alfred owns a massive WWI and WWII-themed collection, which includes various models and original pieces from all parties. He has collectibles from other eras too. The models are from tanks, planes, armored vehicles, ships, larger weapons, and so on. Good amounts of them are self-made scale models. Alfred is very skilled in this regard. One of his maids kind of gained a friendship status by asking him frequently about the history of his collectibles.

Alfred is a decent pianist. He never had any lessons, everything is self-taught. There is still a lot of room for improvement, though.

Alfred speaks 12 languages besides English (Italian, French, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Japanese, Mandarin, Russian, Arabic, Indian, Polish, Swedish) more or less well, some even on the level of a native speaker and almost accent-free. He can’t write and read all of them, but at least he understands them and has a rather broad vocabulary and some basic grammar skills. His favorite language is Italian. Learning them resulted partially from his own interest, partially it was work-related, and partially he picked them up from the mercenaries. Learning new languages was always easy for him.

Harman cared for Alfred like his own son after Alexia went to her cryogenic sleep. Alfred appreciated his kindness even though he never saw him as a father figure. Still, he treated Harman a lot better than he treated his other employees. Harman was even allowed to criticize Alfred openly without fearing for his life.

Harman hated what kind of monster Alfred had become over the years, even though he never saw the worst of Alfred. He partially blamed himself for it.

Alfred did not immediately develop his split personality after Alexia was gone. It started when he was around 20. At first, it was less frequent and less intense, but later it happened more often. The intensity increased too. Most of the time, he was still there, more or less, even when he wasn’t in control. Later he sometimes had total blackouts for minutes to hours when he switched completely to “Alexia”. After Alexia returned and he started visiting a therapist, his condition improved significantly. He still has it occasionally, especially when he is stressed, and it will probably stay forever to some extent, but at least the blackouts are gone.

He has problems distinguishing between the real Alexia and his alter ego.

Alfred is quite popular among the UBCS soldiers. Despite the intense training, they have a rather good life on Rockfort Island because he invests a lot of money to fulfill their basic desires. (Actually, it’s not his money, it’s Umbrella’s money, Alfred is just good at bargaining.) The only requirement is that the soldiers follow his rules. And since Alfred loves collective punishments, that’s not too hard to enforce. The soldiers keep each other in check.

Alfred rarely interacts with the lower-ranking soldier unless he has to. It is below him. Some have never even seen him the entire time they were on Rockfort Island. However, he is less aloof with the higher-ranking soldiers. When he’s in a good mood, he even has a few drinks with them.

The giant worm is his pet. Umbrella had little interest in this BOW, too impractical for broader use. They said Alfred could have it if he wanted it. No one knows how Alfred tamed it, but it is friendly toward him and even follows simple orders.

And because Alfred is a sick fuck, have some darker headcanons too.

Most prisoners on Rockfort Island are there for interrogation. Once this is over, Umbrella doesn’t need them anymore. Obviously, they can’t let them go, so they often become test subjects, or the UBCS can use them for training. As long as they die, Umbrella doesn’t care too much about how it happens. This means Alfred can do whatever he wants with most of the prisoners.

Watching Alexander suffer after Alexia infected him filled Alfred with joy. He could have watched this for hours while smiling from ear to ear. At first, he thought it was because he finally got his revenge, but the warm feeling returned when a worker had a fatal accident in front of him.

He tortured and killed a couple of prisoners himself. It was messy, and he realized that he preferred watching rather than doing it. Then he started using other prisoners for it. He promised to let them go if they would do what he said. A lie, obviously, but they often fell for it. Or he paid the mercenaries. Most have little to no morals anyway, and it is easy work for good money. This went on until he found Enoch Stoker (the anatomist). The guy clearly wasn’t right in his head, but he was intelligent, well-educated, and most importantly, he did everything Alfred wanted. Not only that he enjoyed it. The two even became something like friends.

Alfred sometimes recorded everything, but these snuff movies never gave him the same satisfaction as live performances.

War isn’t the only topic he has a lot of knowledge about. He’s also an expert in historic torture methods and outdated medical procedures from all around the world. Alfred is aware that he probably can’t replicate all of them, but he can try.

He tried to get into big-game and trophy hunting. The animals in his mansion are his kills. Soon Alfred realized that animals don’t do it for him. He preferred prey that was more intelligent. Alfred has a private hunting ground on Rockfort Island. Stronger prisoners have a good chance of visiting it instead of his torture chamber. (His aim is a lot better when he has slept well.) He owns a mare, which he often rides while hunting.

Alexia

Her full name is Alexia Veronica Elisabeth Nora Ashford.

The cryogenic sleep made her age slower. Physically she’s about 20 years old, not 27. Mentally she obviously didn’t age during that time.

Due to the mutations from the virus, Alexia can lift 40 times her body weight like an ant.

The twins have a cook, but when Alexia has time for it, she likes doing it herself. It reminds her a bit of working in a lab. She always wears safety glasses while cooking, possible helpers must wear them too. Her cooking is pretty good.

She doesn’t like sweets particularly. Sometimes it’s ok, but most of the time, she requests fruits as dessert.

Caffeine junkie. She likes her coffee with milk and without sugar.

Alexia loves opera, musicals, ballet, and concerts. She’s a good singer herself.

She is a night owl. Her sleeping schedule is slightly better than her brother’s, but not by much. She often stays up way too long and regrets it in the morning.

Alexia loves invertebrates. Ants are her favorites, but she loves other ones too. She has a large room where she keeps various species of invertebrates as pets in hundreds of enclosures. Alexia also has some beehives and started making her own honey.

She has collected porcelain dolls since childhood but has never played with them. Some are very old and rare. Her first doll was a gift from her surrogate mother. Alexia only knows this because Alexander told her so.

Alexia thought about getting into wine growing. Alfred loves wine, she loves wine, and she is generally interested in the process. So why not buy a suitable piece of land and hire some people to grow her own wine?

Alexia completed her studies mainly by distance learning. She attended the university only for exams and other events where she had to be present in person. The practical work was done in a lab in Antarctica that Alexander had built specifically for this purpose. She was still too small to work in a regular lab. After some inspections, the university allowed it. Alexia finished her Ph.D. with an A+. Her examiner didn’t go easy on her, but the defense was a breeze for Alexia regardless.

She secretly admired William Birkin. His achievements impressed her and gave her more motivation to work harder and outdo him. Alexia only met him once in person at an Umbrella intern conference shortly after she started working for them. He wasn’t very friendly, but they still debated until 4 a.m. (Alexander wasn’t with her). Both enjoyed it. Birkin would never admit it, though.

Alexia hoped Birkin would get along better with her, but she would never ingratiate herself. If he hates her, then so be it. Apparently, it doesn’t stop him from having elaborate conversations with her.

The last time she cried was when she was a baby.

She lacks a bit sense of shame. She is also uncomfortably direct in conversations, no sugarcoating, no lies to not hurt someone’s feelings.

She likes to try out new things. Even if she doesn’t like them in the end, the experience is still worth it.

Alexia has started to act more and more childish at times around people she is familiar with. As a child, she was dead serious. That’s how she was brought up, that’s what people expected of her. But now, she’s an adult, rich, and can do whatever she wants. And if necessary, Alexia can switch back to serious in a matter of seconds.

Alexia is fascinated by mundane things, like supermarkets. She never had these in Antarctica, and during the rare occasions Alexander took her somewhere else, they stayed far away from such places.

Both

Alfred was born first, Alexia 7 min later. Their birthday is the 27th of January, 1971.

Alexander took the DNA from Edward and Veronica to create the twins. That’s also where their second names are coming from.

They can read the other one so well that they can’t lie to each other. Sometimes it works for minor things, usually, it doesn’t.

Harman started his own investigations after Alexander’s disappearance. He found out what the twins did to him but never said anything. Harman thought it was unnecessarily cruel, and still, he could somewhat understand them. Despite his good intentions and all that he provided for them, Alexander was a terrible father. Harman felt sorry for the twins most of the time.

They tend to talk about other people who are right in front of them as if they are not there. They don’t mind if these people find it unpleased.

In any kind of competition, the twins never let the other win. They consider it disrespectful not to give 100%.

The twins often play chess together. When they were children, Alexia used to win all the time. Alfred improved a lot over the years, but he could never defeat her. As adults, it’s the opposite. Alexia tried many strategies, but she wasn’t able to beat Alfred once.

Alfred and Alexia started fencing as a hobby. Both are equally good. Often, they use the floret. Sometimes, they also try rapiers or sabers.

They like to travel and do sightseeing. Alexander rarely took them anywhere, and there wasn’t much to see in Antarctica.

Both work a lot. Alexia thought they could need more time to relax, so she introduced a spa day for them once a month. She also hoped that it would have a positive effect on Alfred’s mental health.

Alexia drags Alfred into everything that sparks her interest, like museums or theaters, and, to his dismay, into amusement parks, shopping malls, or supermarkets as well. Sometimes he can convince her not to go there, but not very often. If she really wants it, he gives in and accompanies her. Alfred’s worst experience so far was when Alexia dragged him into a strip club.

more dialtown head cannons :D

someone requested more of my brain rot so here we are! these may or may not be flesh head related and as always, you can request flesh head designs and/or head cannons for other people you would like to see. anyway, here are the head cannons :]

for some reason in my mind it makes senses that randy’s family is italian-american and from somewhere like Boston, Chicago or New York? idk why i heard that randy was raised Catholic and immediately thought of that. i just have this scenario in my mind where randy goes home for a visit after YEARS of avoiding, and him mom greets him at the door saying things like “OHH thank baby jesus my little sweethearts home! god randle have you been eating well??? you look like you’ve been wasting away” in a Boston accent.

oliver has been journaling literally EVERYTHING in his life since he like 11 when he started going though his edgy phase and convinced himself he could publish it like as a book one day when he was famous. olive would NEVER let anyone actually read the journals, but he does think they’re funny to read over again bc of how dramatic everything was to him when he wrote it.

karen just really fucking loves pretzels. any kind of them. she always has like 5 kinds of pretzels in her kitchen cabinets and keeps the little packs of them in her bag. if she goes somewhere like a mall or a place that offers snacks in any capacity she will ALWAYS ask for pretzels.

gingi’s got a cough syrup guy. no one knows who they are. no one can find them except gingi. if someone asks gingi about it, they just avoid the question as well as they can like they can’t tell you bc someone is monitoring them at all times to make sure they don’t let it slip.

anyways, that’s all the brain rot i have for now :D tell me if you would like more head cannons for different characters or just more in general. i know this was kinda long, so i’d like to thank you if you read all of this. i’m pretty new to this platform, but so many people like me and it makes me feel good :] thank you so much and anything you do to my dumb little posts are appreciated

The faymus Jack Kelly

*sigh* well. unless we think of any more, this is our last one. it’s the end of an era, y’all.

so of course I made jack last.

francis “jack kelly” sullivan was born to a faceless father and mother, and immediately taken to an orphanage. there, he was given the state-ordained name of francis sullivan, completely ignoring his hispanic roots and background. he grew up knowing nothing about himself except for that he felt wrong and clearly, he wasn’t wanted. the system wasn’t great, and it was run by the church, not the state. by the time he was nine, he had given up on any and all gods.

he ran away first at seven, and was caught after two days by snyder, who he learned very quickly to hate. he runs away again, and again.

he’s always caught. part of him wonders if the sky hated him.

he meets charlie morris in the refuge (his personal hell) at twelve, and his world becomes a little brighter. he becomes jack, charlie crutchie (jack still hates that one), and they run away again, this time together, and a young italian boy with curls and a slight accent stumbles upon them hiding in an alley. they move to the top of the lodging house, and jack kelly starts hawking the headline.

he’s scarily good at it, and people notice quickly. the older kids start picking him out of crowds, start remembering his name and clapping him on the back when he earns some extra money. and when their leader, knuckles, ages out, they all look to him. never mind that he’s only fifteen, still a little green and more than a little dumb. but he’s never been good at saying no to people when under pressure, so he starts calling himself the king of manhattan.

the name doesn’t really stick, not as much as cowboy, but the friends he had made do, and soon enough, he’s got newsies beneath him who would follow him to the ends of the earth. two years pass, and everything’s fine. great, even. jack flirts, sells, draws, does everything in between.

and the voice in his mind hisses you will never be enough

when he meets the jacobs brothers, he’s tired, annoyed, and more than a tad hungover. but david jacobs- he’s alive, more alive than jack has ever been. he’s smart, funny, easy on the eyes. he’s everything jack wants to be, everything that should make jack worry about his being of the king of manhattan ending soon. but for once, he’s not worried.

instead, he can’t stop staring at david jacobs’ eyes or mouth, and oh, that’s a problem.

then the strike happens, and david becomes davey, and jack should really be worried about this whole thing, but davey davey davey. he can’t stop drawing him, or seeing him in his dreams. he takes the money, tries running (again)(why does he always run?), but comes back to davey, and oh, yes, this is a very stubborn problem.

they kiss and fall in bed one night after jack’s drunk enough whiskey to make him start whispering things in davey’s ear. everything changes, but nothing changes. for years. and jack? well, jack can be stubborn, too, and he can pretend he’s not DROWNING in self-loathing.

race finally cracks, and yells at him for three hours straight, and then they kiss again, but it’s better this time, real this time, and jack decides he’s going to spend the rest of his life drawing david jacobs. they grow old, as old as a newsie gets, and they grow up.

get jobs, find their way around, away, and back to each other. have a couple kids. lose a couple friends. but in the end, jack kelly is still francis sullivan, and the sky has always known that francis sullivan loves david jacobs in his bones, even if it hates him.

davey leaves jack, leaves francis, but it’s the kind of leave that’s like falling asleep; sweet, peaceful, painless. francis keeps breathing, keeps moving, keeps mourning. his hands always draw those eyes. always.

when he leaves, too, he had never been happier.

(maybe, just maybe, the sky didn’t hate him.)

(for how could the sky hate one so loved?)

Any Griffin and Vance Headcanons? 🥺

you just opened a floodgate hang on let me go into my message history

Okay first off the bat!

Vance and Griffin are half brothers. They have the same mom, but different dads, one is physically absent while the other is just really awful towards Vance.

Vance has a bit of a scottish accent when he’s a bit angry, he got it from his dad (no i will not elaborate) He mostly looks like Bonnie, but there are some traits he got from his dad

Griffin had a bit of an italian accent since Bonnie moved from Italy to Colorado when she was much much younger. Griffin is american born but he’s clearly italian. He is like an almost exact carbon copy of Bonnie. He looks a lot like her and he looks pretty much nothing like his dad at all.

Sometimes Vance and Bonnie argue about the past (cough) Vance’s early childhood (cough) and when that happens Griffin just sits on the stairs and cries because he doesn’t want his mom and brother hating each other. They don’t hate each other but sometimes Vance feels the need to start an argument.

Griffin can barely remember any of his own trauma and he can’t remember what happened in the basement or anything related to it while Vance remembers everything down to the last detail.

When Vance learned Griffin couldn’t speak anymore he didn’t wanna admit it but he knew he was gonna miss Griffin’s voice. Griffin used to be a huge chatterbox and it used to annoy Vance but Vance misses it now.

Whenever Vance plays pinball, Griffin (and Billy) will stand at his side and watch him play and slide over quarters when he loses and Vance gets used to it :)

While Vance is extremely mature and he ends up acting like an adult in result of his trauma, Griffin is the opposite. Griffin’s brain puts him into involuntary age regression but because Griffin had forgotten so much about his trauma he kind of lost his perception of time in the past also. Griffin doesn’t comprehend that he isn’t acting his age.

They don’t believe in Santa Clause. Bonnie raised them where she told them off the bat Santa wasn’t a thing but since they were so little they literally dgaf. She tells them not to tell other kids. Griffin doesn’t tell, but while Vance was younger he said it if he was pissed off at some kid who was provoking him.

Whenever Griffin has to get a much needed haircut, Vance helps him calm down when Griffin panics and hugs him to comfort him.

Whenever Griffin is sad Vance makes him peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwiches because it’s Griffin’s favorite food! :)

thats all i can think of rn :3

CELESTIALS YAYEA

i know you guys like mythicals but what is celestials… i promise more mythical stuff soon….. (revived celestials by the way not the old before christ ones) also im sorry this is so long... i do 2 headcanons per character AND MY HEADCANONS ARE USUALLY LONG SO 

attmoz can’t and i mean CANT play the drums, if he tried it would sound like someone getting ran over or nails on a chalk board which is psychically not possible WHICH MEANS WHEN THEY PLAY THE DRUMS THEY BREAK EVERYTHING 

they also just randomly hit celestials on the head with his guitar so they don’t know who hit them, and they just start random fights about it plixie’s head can kinda just... burst... open at times. it doesn’t hurt though it just feels like.. tingly and the other celestials freak out when it happens (furnoss is the one who fixes it) before starhenge fell, plixie used to have a small crush on attmoz and would never admit to it (galvana and blassoom knew), when bein revived though plixie remembered a strong connection with attmoz, but not the crush part glaishur surprisingly... LOVES SUMMER. they get so bummed out when they can’t play on fallen starhenge and have to go under some shade cause them and their little glacier.. drum thing will melt  their really great friends with torrt though, they talk about stuff together or something furnoss cant cook on their life. in a life or death situation and furnoss had to cook your literally getting a burnt ramen noodle that’s doesn’t even have broth, then they’d eat it. cause. curiosity is high in a kid Heavy italian accent. (and is the tallest of the celestials, but probably one of the most kind hearted) blassoom once accidentally spilled seeds in loodvigg’s piano, it caused some plants to accidentally grow, loodvigg cut them off but kept some cause they looked nice (loodvigg won’t admit to them liking it, and they don’t know that it was blassoom since hornacle also helps planting) did you guys see that one image where attmoz was challenging blassoom to a one leg challenge.. and ATTMOZ WAS STANDING ON THE EDGE??? OF FALLEN STARHENGE??? i like to think that blassoom thought the idea was funny, but also incredibly stupid. like blassoom is that one friend who is always worried for you and is prepared for the worst... hornacle and scaratar DEFINITELY go on little adventures together that they think are real, like exploring the “jeweled caves” when its actually just syncopite hornacle also has a heavy german accent but talks like a 50 year old grandpa would (EVEN WHEN OLD) TORRT IS LAARRGEE. IN A GOOD WAY. like a bernese mountain dog but like 2 times larger  also this thing can LIFT. can probably sustain a whole ecosystem on its back vhamp can be ridden on its back like a horse (galvana has tried, old and young) the reason why vhamp looks so worn out when older is because hornacle would always try to ride on its back old and young and it would end up with galvana and plixie having to fix them  most of the celestials have tempted galvana into using their orb (i dont know what it is hel) into a ball, which they tried once. NEVER. AGAIN. baby galvana still likes to lead the celestials, they are the smallest out of the younger celestials but the strongest (beat torrt in an arm wrestle three times in a row) scaratar knows that a few of the celestials are afraid of bugs, ESPECIALLY attmoz, a little inchworm makes him want to scream. so scaratar, knowing this specifically crowds around attmoz so their beetles crawl on them, and the more scaratar does it the more the beetles take a liking to attmoz scaratar is also starhenge’s prankster, the MOST VILE ONE.  loodvigg knows everyone’s secrets, plixie is secretly afraid of the dark, so whenever its just loodvigg and plixie awake they make everything go... pitch black. BIG fan of museums, thinks they are perfect in every way syncopite and torrt like to taunt glaishur with rocks and stuff, since ice is very fragile they ADORE shiny stuff too, like a crow basically. you show syncopite a shiny charm or something and.. its not yours anymore. ITS SYNCOPITE’S. 

a tired canadian trying to put back together two annoying europeans

summary: Lance is tired. Tired of putting Esteban back up each times Alonso just looks at him, tired of feeling shitty about Mick leaving, and exhausted about having said Spaniard as his teammate. Yet, he needs to be strong, for he’ll learn he has a new quest for the 2023 season: making his teammate and friend see reason, and date again. Also he’ll have to threaten some people to get Mick back on the grid, but nothing is impossible. tags: eventual happy ending, crack, emotional hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, breaking up and getting back together, warnings: none apply, some f-bomb swearing. part: 3 of 6

Part 1 ; Part 2 ;

The first day of testing is a pain in the arse, literally. Yeah, he got his seat fit and other things, but that damn porpoising hurts his back. Something else also hurts, irritates him, and it’s his goddamn teammate. That man has deemed that it was a good idea to just stroll back to Esteban, as if nothing happened, as if they were still together and in the same team.

It nearly broke the Frenchman to the ground. And guess who has to scramble for the pieces of that lanky drivers, put them back together to make him survive the day? Yeah, you’re goddamn right it was the Powerpuff boys. Mick will stay for a bit in the UAE, to hang out with some of his own friends, and be the excellent emotional support golden retriever friend he is. Lance can’t thank him enough for that, it’s always hard to take care of Este alone.

They got absolutely trashed at the end of the year parties, going from one place to another, purposefully avoiding the Yankees and one Spanish driver. They know some pics will be bound to leak, but they don’t worry that much. After all; it was Seb’s retirement, they can and will use this excuse.

Anyway, once again, Este is having a hard time adjusting to this new relationship, or rather lack of thereof, he has with Fernando. He is pacing in Este’s hotel room, their favourite meetup point mind you, mumbling in his beard and sometimes moving his hands, as if he is Italian. Lance and Mick just patiently wait on the bed, for whatever their best friend wants to talk about now. For once, he seems pretty angry. Everything is better than a sad Este, Lance thinks, and soon regrets.

“I just don’t understand,” the French driver’s voice always gets that annoying Normand accent when he doesn’t mind it. “He leaves the team, without looking back, and doesn’t give a fuck about consequences. He ignores me, ignored his responsibilities towards the team, and then, as if the rain didn’t fell from the sky, after he changes teams, he comes back to me. He thinks I’m a fucking idiot.”

You’re an idiot, Lance thinks.

“Oh ta gueule, Lance, I perfectly know what you think. Anyway, he dares coming back towards me, that bastard dares to do that, and for what? Just for a ‘Hello, how are you doing?’ I swear to you two I will strangle him.”

Lance and Mick look at each other, now just a little concerned about Alonso’s safety.

“We’ll help you hide the body,” Lance jokes, eyes already glittering at the idea.

“Ta gueule, Lance,” Mick repeats, focusing on Este instead. “And you did you feel? Apart from the feeling of being taken as a joke, of course.”

“Je…” The French driver looks at the window, his brain freezing.

Then, Lance and Mick are the spectators of a man loosing all his composure, and crumbling. Este’s lips begin to tremble, his eyes are watering. Both German and Canadian driver immediately go to him, to reassure and cuddle him.

“I let him do, I let him say hello to me, I let him lie to me, I let myself imagine that, maybe, he’ll come back, that he is coming back, that all of this is just a nightmare, but no…”

Esteban is quietly crying on Lance’s shoulder.

“I thought it was a nightmare, and that he was coming back to wake me up, but no…”

The next day, when Lance sees Alonso again in the garage, he has to physically restrain him from punching the man. The Canadian has spend some time with Daniel, he got a little bit of UFC and MMA knowledge, he is certain the Spaniard will be the one hurting the most if Lance ever decks him, and not him, no matter how many times Mick insists he doesn’t know how to fight.

After some painful driving, they are in the garage, discussing whatever teammates and their race-engineers need to discuss. As always, Lance is propped against the wall, leaning on it because he’s tired. Alonso is close, far too close to his liking. As his own race-engineer, Ben, is talking to Chris, Alonso’s engineer, about some new wing features, Lance just stares at the man in front of him.

He knows he has his best bitchy and bored face on, and he does truly wonder if he can just hit the man from his position, without moving. Faking some stretchering, he tries out the distance, sadly for him, and happily for Alonso, Lance is still too far from his teammate.

You lucked out this one, but don’t think I won’t ambush you next time.

Alright you little shits open your ears it’s time for the pope

A couple things for clarification: 

This is about the 2007 Sweeney Todd movie. There are enough differences that I am going to be largely disregarding the musical. Also I have not seen the musical, only the film.

Under no circumstances is any of this reasonable. Get used to it. There are no gods here, only wikipedia pages and a probably neurodivergent teenager.

I cannot read roman numerals. Unfortunately, those are kind of essential for the pope. Spare me some patience here, I am but a fucking idiot.

I understand that Pirelli lied about literally everything. I do not care.

Okay get a warm drink and a cat because this is long

So in Sweeney Todd there is a scene where Mrs. Lovett takes her local emo(one Sweeney Todd) out for a nice walk. They run into a cart where a small child(Toby) starts yelling at the crowd about a magical elixir that made his hair grow and how he’s selling it with this dude named Pirelli(remember that name) now. He tosses a few bottles out into the crowd to check out and a bottle makes its way to our coveted cannibalistic couple. Sweeney smells it and realizes that it’s not, in fact, magical and is instead made out of piss and ink. He kindly lets the crowd know and then this fuckin man bursts through the curtain and starts screaming. 

Look at him. Look at him and tell me that god exists. 

Anyway his name is Adolfo Pirelli and he brags a bunch about being a really good barber(see the sign behind him that I didn’t actually realize existed before taking that screenshot for this). Sweeney calls him out and says that he could shave a face better than Pirelli could and you can’t really back down from a challenge like that (actually Sweeney put him in a really tough spot there where he couldn’t say yes or no without destroying his reputation, it’s neat) so Pirelli flips his cape because his hair has so much gel in it that it’s basically made of stone at this point and agrees. Thus, the Pirelli Shaving Contest. They get two random dudes to be shaved and this dude named Beadle agrees to be the judge. 

Pirelli does a shit job and loses but we don’t care about that right now because while he is singing about how good at shaving he is he says, and I quote(without writing out the horrible italian accent because I hold myself to a higher standard than that) 

“Signorini, signori, you look at a man who have had the glory to shave the Pope! ‘Mister Sweeney-Whoever’, I beg your pardon, you’ll probably say it was only a cardinal no nope! It was the pope!”

Now this was a mistake on Pirelli’s part because he didn’t know that I have had a long-time obsession with learning about popes. I don’t even know how this started but I decided I would find out if he did(spoiler alert: he didn’t but this rant devolves into time travel so hear me out)

Luckily for me, Pirelli shows a picture of the Pope that he supposedly shaved.

Now this further cements that no. his ass did not shave the Pope. Infuriatingly, the pope only signed his name as “The Pope” and did not disclose which pope he actually was, so I was not told exactly which pope this could have been. I started my research.

First step in my descent into madness: Find out when Sweeney Todd takes place. Sounds simple right? Wrong, nothing is ever simple. I will spare you the anguish of trying to figure out when the movie takes place and tell you that it takes place in 1846. The Pope at the time was Pope Pius IX. He looked like this.

This could reasonably be the dude that Pirelli shaved. But in 1846, a fascinating event happened. The Pope changed. Now this doesn’t happen a lot because it is custom that when somebody becomes pope, they’re pope until they die. Technically, popes can retire but only two ever did: Pope Benedict XVI who retired back in 2013, and Pope Celestine V(one of my personal favorite popes, which is a totally normal thing to have), who retired in 1294. 

Back to the topic at hand, the previous pope was Pope Gregory XVI. He looked like this:

Now, along with having all of the characteristics of one of God's least favorite creatures, he does not look like the pope that Pirelli claimed to have shaved. He died on June 1st, 1846 and Pope Pius IX promptly became pope afterward.

So Pope Pius IX became pope in June. Neat. That raises the horrible question: When in the year does Sweeney Todd take place?

Throughout the movie, it’s seems to be getting warmer, though true to london weather, it’s never actually sunny unless you’re in Mrs. Lovett's weird beach-dream-thing. As far as I know, it’s never stated what month(s) it is, though feel free to fact check me on that. I’m guessing it’s somewhere in March-May.

Now, time to put all of this together.

Pirelli claims to have shaved the Pope, showing a picture of future Pope Pius IX when the pope at the time would have been Pope Gregory XVI. Even if the Pirelli Shaving Contest happened after Pius became pope, he would not have had the credibility yet that shaving him would have meant much of anything. 

The conclusion I have reached? Pirelli is a time traveler from a future time, possibly even being an older version of Toby himself, who, when he looked up who the pope was in 1846, found a technically correct answer and was lazy enough to run with it. 

Alright I’m done. Technically there are a few more details to this that I found and a whole other story with the dates, but they aren’t actually as relevant as I would like and were removed for the sake of my sanity as I am writing this when I should be sleeping.

If anybody does want to hear my explanation of the plot of Sweeney Todd I would be happy to give it, it’s genuinely one of my favorite musicals. I’m sure my friends/boyfriend are getting sick of it at this point.

*   ◟   :   〔  MACKENYU   ARATA ,   CIS   MAN   +   HE   /   HIM 〕  HIROSHI   '   HERO   '   MATSUDA  ,   some   say   you’re   a  THIRTY   YEAR   OLD  lost   soul   among   the   neon   lights.   known   for   being   both  BENEVOLENT  and  RELENTLESS,   one   can’t   help   but   think   of  SEDATED  by  HOZIER  when   you   walk   by.   are   you   still   an  UNDERBOSS  for  THE   DEAD   HAND,   even   with   your   reputation   as  THE   OMEN?   i   think   we’ll   be   seeing   more   of   you   and  THE   ETERNAL   DERANGEMENT   OF   A   THRICE   DAMNED   FOOL   (   ARE   YOU   NOT   YET   DISILLUSIONED   TO   THE   REALITY   OF   YOUR   OWN   LIFE   ?   TO   THE   HAND   THAT   THEY   HAVE   PLAYED   YOU   ⸻   CURSED   UPON   YOU   ?   )   /   LOYALTY   BRED   FROM   BIRTHRIGHT   (   SUBMISSIVE   IN   THE   WAY   A   GUARD   DOG   IS   SUBMISSIVE   ,   YOU   OF   BLUNTED   CLAWS   AND   FANGS   ;   LEASHED   TO   A   MASTER   YOU   COULD   NEVER   HOPE   TO   BITE   NOR   BETRAY   )   /   THE   PRACTICED   EASE   OF   FALSITIES   (   AND   WHAT   ABOUT   YOU   IS   EVEN   REAL   ,   YOU   MASKED   EVIL   ,   YOU   TERRIBLE   THING   ?   YOU   STAND   ALONE   IN   YOUR   HOUSE   OF   CARDS   ,   GLUED   TOGETHER   BY   LIES   NONE   COULD   DECIPHER   ⸻   NOT   EVEN   YOU.   ),   although   we   can’t   help   but   think   of  DEAN   WINCHESTER   (   SUPERNATURAL   )   +   PETYR   BAELISH   (   GAME   OF   THRONES   )   +   ANAKIN   SKYWALKER   (   STAR   WARS   )   whenever   we   see   you   down   these   rainy   streets.

*　　　　&　　◞　　　　𝐢　　　　.　　　　𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒　　　　.

　full　name　:　hiroshi   matsuda. 　nickname(s)　:　hero. 　age　+　bday　:　30   +   nov   13. 　gender　+　pronouns　:　cis   male   +   he   /   him. 　sexuality　:　pansexual   +   panromantic. 　birthplace　:　yokohama   ,   japan. 　languages　:　japanese   ,   english   +   conversational   levels   of   korean   ,   mandarin   ,   spanish   ,   italian   &   russian. 　accent　:　no   determinable   accents   in   any   language. 　current　location　:　soho   ,   lower   manhatten   ,   new   york. 　occupation　:　underboss   of   dead   hand. 　loyalty　:　dead   hand. 　family　:　saito   matsuda   —   father   (   †   )    ,    yoshino   matsuda   —   mother   (   †   )    ,    hiroyuki   matsuda   —   brother  (   †   )    . 　pet(s)　:　tba. 　 　faceclaim　:　mackenyu arata. 　 　eye　colour　:　dark brown , almost black. 　hair　colour　:　jet black hair that retains a rather lovely little bounce as he moves. usually  left artfully  tousled  and  a  little  on  the  longer  side. 　height　:　180cm / 5'11. 　character　inspirations　:　dean   winchester   (   supernatural   )   +   petyr   baelish   (   game   of   thrones   )   +   anakin   skywalker   (   star   wars   ) + inuyasha ( inuyasha ) + haku ( spirited away )

*　　　　&　　◞　　　　𝐢𝐢　　　　.　　　　𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃　　　　.

　 —　 you   cling   to   your   origins   in   the   hopes   that   it   will   save   you   from   the   futures   unknown.   (   a   fool's   hope   ,    as   if   you   do   not already   know.   )   for   you're   a   tragedy   walking   and   talking   ,    my   love   ⸻   but   are   you   truly   even   alive   ?    what   is   it   you   live   for   ,    do   you   dream   for   ,    when   they've   already   taken   everything   away   away   away.  　 —　 born   into   your   position   ,    your   name   is   one   that   has   generations   into   its   making   ;    fates   already   accepted   and   shaped   by   your   forefathers   above   you.   (   to   be   a   matsuda   it   to   be   loyal   ,    so   they   raise   you   ,    and   this   truth   is   written   into   the   very   bones   of   you.   )   as   they   live   ,    as   they   die   ,    they   will   serve.  　 —　 your   father   himself   dies   with   a   proud   smile   upon   his   face   ,    your   mother   resigned   in   her   duties   all   the   same.   bloody   and   broken   ,    puppet   like   limbs   collapsed   without   strings.   you   lose   your   family   to   a   massacre   ,    and   you   are   given   the   orders   to   accept   it   as   the   honour   it   is.   to   die   for   the   main   family   ,    to   trade   your   lives   for   their   own.   the   boss   makes   it   out   because   you   get   him   out   ,    and   when   they   applaud   you   for   it   ,   bring   you   in   closer   for   proving   yourself   faithful   :    you   take   those   honours   and   you   choke   through   the   pain.   (   underboss   to   the   leader   at   twenty   five   ,    and   all   you   can   think   about   is   the   memory   of   your   little   brother   bleeding   out   ,    as   he   too   ,    is   left   behind   to   die.   )

*　　　　&　　◞　　　　𝐢𝐢𝐢　　　　.　　　　𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒　　　　.

　 —　 painfully   loyal   to   his   organization   ,    and   to   the   dead   hand   boss   in   particular.    there's   very   little   he   wouldn't   do   for   them   ,    to   the   point   that   he's   yet   to   find   a   line   wouldn't   cross.    as   one   of   the   underbosses   ,    he   reports   directly   and   only   to   the   boss   themselves   ,    and   considering   his   own   upbringing   ⸻   takes   the   organization's   hierarchy   seriously.   and   while   he's   loyal   to   the   organization   as   a   whole   ,    he   also   wouldn't   think   twice   about   sacrificing   any   one   of   them   for   the   boss   </3   just   remember   that   hero   is   always   about that   #bbae   life   (   boss   before   anyone   else   ). 　 —　 is   generally   known   and   viewed   as   a   rather   affable   person   ,    surprisingly   ?   but   as   long   as   it   doesn't   go   against   orders   or   his   stringent   beliefs   ,    he's   honestly   a   pretty   laid   back   guy   <3   he   doesn't   enjoy   getting   his   hands   dirty   ,    and   plays   it   as   fair   as   he's   able   when   it   comes   to   his   personal   life.  　 —　 secretly   harbours   feelings   of   deep   -   rooted   resentment   that   leave   him   trapped   in   a   constant   down   spiral   of   guilt   and   self   -   flagellation.   he   did   ,    after   all   ,    lose   his   entire   family   ,    and   then   proceed   to   retain   all   the   glory   and   honours   for   it.   but   of   course   ,    even   whispers   of   betrayal   will   have   him   going   for   the   jugular. 

@leggosmanymuses​ sent 💓 , 🌱 , 🎲 ! i need to know about the roach                 from the miscellaneous headcanon meme

💓 - What are some signs they’ve fallen for someone? How do they show their affection?

I mean, when he gets a crush on someone it's painfully obvious because he's horny on main and also gets embarrassed very easily. But in almost every case he doesn't actually consider any of those as potential romance options, just flights of fancy. The signs are much more difficult to read when he actually wants to commit to something, mostly because his love language is something he already applies to most of his other relationships (among friends and family). Jiminy was on his own for a very long time and even before then his bonds weren't super close due to a lack of mutual understanding between him and the rest of his family. He does everything he can for what bonds he does have now.

It involves a lot of words of affirmation and acts of service, albeit in small ways like throwing hands on their behalf and chewing them out over every little stupid thing they do. He worries and doesn't know how else he's supposed to say or show anything without being overwhelming (he has so frequently been considered Too Much) or, on the other hand, failing to come across as impactful enough and being dismissed. So he tries to act in a way that people won't consider noticeable or off-putting. It makes it confusing more than anything because, genuinely, good luck figuring out if it's a friendship thing or if he's intending it as romantic. He's terrified of taking any real first steps and being ridiculed or otherwise having his worries confirmed - that he's not exactly the sort of person anyone would want to view romantically - and ruining a friendship.

On the off-chance anything manages to progress, he's very traditionally romantic. He writes songs and picks flowers. And he just values physical closeness because that's so rare for him. He likes sticking near to the people he cares about. But, again, it's one of those things he's scared of pushing too far because past experience says it's not a good idea.

🌱 - Do they have a green thumb or are they a plant killer?

I don't think he actually has ever bothered trying to take care of plants. Doesn't have the means to do so or the need to try - crickets are foragers, he is a scavenger, the opportunity never arose. Even if it did, I'm not sure he'd risk it unless they were his plants and he was certain they were far away from where anyone could have interfered with them. There's been so many pesticide encounters. He likes plants and appreciates gardening as a practice and might even enjoy being helpful with that sort of thing, but yeah, he never has and so can't say if he's actually any good with it or not.

🎲 - Pick a random question to answer from this list.

Right, well, I'm going with the ( 🗺️ - What languages do they speak? ) one because it's easy. So. Obviously English is his native language, but he's equally fluent in Italian - more or less. The only hold-up is his accent, which is atrocious and will probably never get better. And then he's pretty good with ASL because his nephew Wilbur signs. He gets a little tripped up every now and again and gets frustrated. But he's very rusty and is aware that if he kept up with it he could probably be much better.

Beyond that, he can speak a spattering of other European languages with varying degrees of success. German is the next best on account of Doc and Snow (and there's a pretty significant German population in Geppetto's village, too, given its proximity to Germany). He does decently with Spanish solely on account of its relative similarity to Italian - he didn't actually stay in Spain for any length of time. French is the worst for him, even though he was in Paris for longer than he planned to be. He can mostly understand it but can't speak it at all. He just never seems to make the right sounds or remember the grammar rules

Annon-Guy: The Super Mario Bros. Movie Teaser Trailer.

Starring Chris Pratt (Star-Lord) as Mario and Jack Black (Po) as Bowser.

GKD here! Jack Back is a treasure but I'm kind of tired of Chris Pratt getting cast as EVERYTHING. He was fine as Starlord. Not sure how I feel about him being cast for everything else since then. I get it. He's a big name lots of people will recognize, and ultimately it's the parents that choose movies so drawing in parents with big names helps. And I get that they weren't trying to do the whole "Walking Italian Stereotype" with the heavy accent but... given how little Mario talks in the games, what little we DO hear is always that squeaky little "Ha! Wah! Wahoo! Yippee! Okie Dokie! Let's-a go!" That's iconic, for better or for worse. The only other accent I really associate with Mario is thanks to a childhood of the Super Mario Brother's Super Show. Lou Albano's thick Brooklyn accent and wild hair are, like, the only alternative to the dopey, squeaky, cartoony Italian of the games' Marios. Hell, that's what made that whole meme that came and went like a flash in a pan WORK. From what little I heard, Chris Pratt isn't absolutely abyssmal as Mario, but he barely speaks in the trailer, and I'm honestly expecting mediocrity so the mediocre bit I got wasn't exactly unexpected. I think the movie has a chance at being passable, and I'll probably give it a watch when I have time. But I'm honestly just kind of bitter about the whole "Put celebrities that don't really fit the roles into movies instead of casting new talent that fits better or paying more for someone who both fits the role AND is famous. I saw someone did a photoshop edit of Tom Holland as Link for a hypothetical live action Zelda film and I cringed. The idea that we don't have to cast real actors anymore or seek out new talent when we can just hire the biggest names for voice work or CG on whatever features we need for the actor and cast whoever's popular really kills me. It means there's never any new talent so the same 5 people can just phone in every performance because they're so famous that it doesn't matter if they're good for the role or not, they're just guaranteed work through their name recognition. It means getting dated CG that's going to look bad in 5 years where it's very obvious someone's worn a face rig for the whole movie so they could put someone else's features on or where they had to digitally erase something because the actor got an injury and the film was on a time crunch so they sent the final footage to the CG team on the last day before release and went "Hey, Famous McGee has a 3 inch scar across his cheek in this shot and makeup didn't cover it enough, can you go in frame by frame and photoshop that out? And also change the lighting and do 12 other edits to the footage? We won't give you a raise ever and no benefits okay thanks bye!" Like, it's entirely possible that I'm just very bitter and old, but I honestly hate the way the film industry is going. Same 10 actors in everything, jukebox musicals or generic tracks, pile all the work on the CG people because they're the only ones without a union and can't negotiate for better labor conditions that would put them on par with practical effects and makeup teams which they're largely being used to replace for cheap. Actors who can't sing getting autotuned instead of dubbed because "people would notice that's not their voice because they've been in every movie for the last century." Honestly, I don't blame Chris Pratt for taking the role or Illumination for hiring him. That's just business. I blame the capitalist monster and the ever increasing demand for profit that pushes out creativity and risky decisions necessary for art in favor of "safe" business decisions that mathematically guarantee making returns on investment and generating profit. We have, what, 5 big studios that own everything in the world of animation right now? They're all pretty cushy on their piles of money to the point that if any competition shows up to challenge them, they can just sue them out of existence or buy them up. (Disney is the biggest example but others have done it too.) Honestly, Pixar is one of the last good studios and even that's iffy. They're largely allowed to do whatever because they're the Stephen King of animation. Given enough time and money, they'll make good stuff every time. But even then that's kind of shaky ground now because they're under The Mouse so they've honestly been tasked with playing things safe most of the time and just BARELY putting anything worthwhile in movies anymore. IDK, I'm sure it's partly nostalgia goggles, but honestly I do think it's primarily that animation isn't treated as art anymore. It's just a "genre of movie" to corporate executives, and all they want is quippy humor and flashy colors to get kids in seats so they can make back all the pennies they gave to the CG team to make the movie passable. They don't care if the movies are good, they care if they can get people to pay for a ticket. And big names sell tickets. And I kind of hate that. (Jack Black gets a pass because he's a genuinely funny guy and clearly put charisma into his role.) Also Toad made me cringe because like. Yeah. That's just how humor in movies is done now, huh? Gotta have at least one loud "joke" for the trailer that doesn't actually say anything about the world or the plot so we can clip it out of context and really sell people on the fact that this movie is supposed to be "funny." IDK, maybe it's deliberately bad marketing. But it still makes me cringe.