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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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Amoreena | chapter four

Chapter Four

summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff

word count: 3.9k

from the beginning <3

Everyone at work was very understanding. Almost all of them saw it coming, he was taking more sick days than normal and he wasn’t putting up a fight anymore when the 30 days was required to take rolled around. They were profilers after all.

He arrives on Thursday morning to pack his desk. The team is finally home and all together to wish him well on his future journey, giving him hugs and kisses as they each visited his desk.

They had already replaced him, Will LaMontagne was giving the FBI a shot, finally. Spending more time with JJ, the kids were old enough now to accept both of them working. And Kate Callahan was back, now that her baby wasn’t a baby anymore either.

Even Penelope and Derek showed up, bringing a cake that said ‘happy retirement’ written across the frosting. They were happy for him, they shared the same excitement he had. There was a thrill in his eyes again as they asked him about his plans.

“Tell us about this Y/N you met,” Emily cut into the laughter to get to the serious topics.

“I’ve been going to the park a lot recently and I found this little reading nook by a pond. She was there with her daughter and they invited me over to their picnic,” he realized how fake it all sounded as he continued to speak. “Her daughter is wonderful and super smart, I took them to the Smithsonian on Sunday and I’m completely smitten.”

Everyone swooned, happy to see him finally finding someone that makes him gush like this. It had been a very, very long time since Spencer has told any of them about a person, let alone someone he was in love with.

“She is wonderful,” Penelope added, “she makes the best tea and she lives in a literal Disney movie.”

Spencer laughed, “yeah she does. They probably read more books than I have, they make so many references all the time and they even dress up for what they’re reading, it’s amazing.”

They were amazed by how giddy he was, unable to stop smiling at him, “here we dressed up for the museum, I was milo from Atlantis and she was the old man in Tarzan,” he pulled his phone from his pocket to show them the photo.

It was his background now, Y/N sent it to him when he finally went back to his place Monday night, knowing he’d miss them. Not wanting him to be alone.

He was beyond proud to show them the photo, beaming from ear to ear as they all complimented his attire.

“She looks like you,” Kate added, “must be the genius gene,” she added, making awkward eye contact with JJ as they both clocked it.

“She’s exactly like me, that’s why Y/N likes having me around, it’s good for Amoreena to feel normal with the way our brains work,” he spoke about her like she was his own. Forever grateful to have her in his life.

“So when are you proposing?” Matt teased him. Knowing the feeling of love like this all too well with his perfect wife and a handful of children.

“I’m not trying to jinx anything,” Spencer admitted. “I actually have a job interview at the Library she works at later, so I’ll be around here a lot more.”

“He’ll be moved in by the end of the month,” Tara smiled, proud of him and the courage it takes to follow your heart.

“I’m going to miss you guys,” he presses his lips together softly, nodding as he avoids eye contact with them. “But you can call me whenever you need my brain, I guess.”

Hugs were exchanged as Spencer had to leave, Derek even offered to drive him back to his apartment to help with 4 boxes of books from his desk, and to have a bit of a talk like they always do.

“It’s surprisingly easy to be a dad, all you have to do is be there and love them,” Derek shared a tidbit of advice

“She told me she doesn’t mind me being like Amoreena’s dad, but I don’t think I can yet. I want her to decide when she wants me in that role.”

Spencer explains his feelings the easiest to Derek. Like he was already in his mind and knew the thoughts before he said them, Derek was never mad or disappointed in him. He loved him fully, and Spencer loved him right back.

“Like when you chose Gideon?”

Spencer can only nod, it’s still too sad to think about him being gone. “You know what it’s like, you love your father but there are other people in your life who fit the role better.”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed. “You’re going to be great, regardless of the name she uses when she thinks of you.”

“Thank you,” Spencer smiled as they pulled up to his apartment, “you should bring Hank to meet the animals this weekend sometime.”

“He’d love that,” Derek smiled back at him, patting his shoulder lightly. “I’m really proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it if you didn’t first,” he admits. “You’re a strong man who decided to put his happiness first, I can be too.”

“You sure as hell can,” Derek wrapped him up in one last hug before sending him off to live that best life he was talking about.

The only person who didn’t know yet was his mother. He wasn’t sure how to tell her, he knew she’d be proud of him regardless but that anxiety of disappointing her never went away even now that he was 40.

“Spencer!”

“Hey mom,” he smiled when she picked up. “How are you?”

“I’m fantastic, Marge and I are going on a walk later to see some ducks that were born, I really love it here Spencer,” he could hear it in her voice. She was much more joyful when she was surrounded by friends.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“you sound happy, what’s going on?”

She was his mother, after all, she could know exactly how he’s feeling from just hearing him breathe or being in the same room as him. It was like a superpower, she always knew what was going on.

“I met someone,” he can’t help but smile. “And I quit the FBI to have a family.”

“You’re kidding?” He couldn’t read her tone, not sure if she was surprised or disappointed.

“Her name is Y/N, she has a 7-year-old daughter named Amoreena who is exactly like how I was as a child, you’d really like them,” he explains and he can hear his mother's smile from his end of the phone.

“I would love to meet them, you can bring them to visiting hours next Tuesday?” Diana offered, genuinely happy for him in a way that made his heart burst.

“I’ll see if they’re free and I’ll let you know.”

“I love you, Spencer,” she reminded him. “It’s nice to hear you’re happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I love you too, thank you, mom, for everything.”

She hangs up before they can get too emotional, leaving Spencer inside his sad little apartment all by himself. Taking the opportunity to pack his overnight bag for Y/N and pick out some books from his collection to show Amoreena.

There’s an envelope sticking out of one of his books that manages to catch his attention, taking it out to see his name written on it in Gideon’s handwriting. He almost forgot he had this, how important the words were.

Spencer,

I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me. I’m sorry the explanation couldn’t be better, Spencer. I’m sorry it doesn’t make more sense, but I’ve already told you. I just don’t understand any of it anymore.

I guess I’m just looking for it again, for the belief I had in college, the belief I had when I first met Sara and it all seemed so right.

The belief in happy endings. When you find that, never let it go, Spencer.

Don’t let this job do to you what it did to me, get out and get a life when you can. I have faith in you, till I see you again, take care, son.

Gideon

He walked over to the window then, seeing a beautiful red and brown bird perched on his fire escape. He couldn’t help but smile, “I found my Sara, thank you,” he whispers to the bird who turns its head to the side before flying off.

Gideon always did have the best timing and the best advice.

—

“Y/N, your one o’clock is here to see you,” the receptionist at the Library said over the phone, hanging up and returning her attention to Spencer, “she’ll be with you in a moment.”

“Doctor Reid,” he hears her voice as she rounds the corner, appearing behind a stack of books in the most beautiful blue dress he’s ever seen. “Lovely to see you again.”

“You too,” he smiles.

“Right this way,” she can’t help but smile as she escorts him to her office.

“I don’t normally consider people who don’t send in a resume, but I have a feeling you’re going to be good at this,” she teased him as he sat at her desk.

“Allison is going on maternity leave in a few weeks, so you won’t start until she has the baby. If you’re serious about wanting this position, it’s only Monday through Thursday, 9 to 2:30.”

“You’re not going to ask me anything?”

“I don’t know if you know this, but the literary historian and I get to spend a lot of time together, I’d rather hire someone I know I already like,” she smiled again. “And it would be nice to see you every day without a 7-year-old taking all your attention away from me.”

“You just want to live out the fantasy of kissing someone in the encyclopedia section, don’t you?” He teased her right back, making her blush. “I knew it.”

“Sue me!” She laughed, and he finally understood what tinker bell meant when she said farries are born from the purest laughter.

He was in love with her right then and there, he was sure of it.

It had been under a week and yet as he stared at her, hearing her wonderful laughter and seeing her beautiful smile, knowing she wanted to spend time with him, that she genuinely liked him and none of this was one-sided, it made him fall harder than he thought he could.

“Come on then,” he stands abruptly, taking her hand and pulling her out the door.

She tries to giggle quietly as she follows him all the way back to the quietest section of the library. Most of the books on the shelves didn’t even have bar codes because they haven’t been checked out since the 60’s, no one needs them but they can’t seem to part with them.

She backs up against the shelf and pulls him into her space, he drops her hands and holds her face instead, looking at her beautiful eyes as they sparkled in the fluorescent lighting.

“I was expecting this to be hungrier than this when I imagined it all for all these years,” she whispers, biting her lip to force her smile back.

“You’re just so fucking beautiful,” is all he can say, brushing her cheeks with his thumbs lightly a few times before finally placing his lips against hers, ever so gently.

Her hands stretched around his back, pulling him in closer till their bodies are pressed together and then she’s kissing him deeper. Breathing in through her nose like she’s trying to keep him there forever, her fingernails dig into his shirt and he knows she wants more.

He slid his thigh between hers, opening his mouth to give her all the access she wanted and letting her take control of the speed. She wasn’t kidding when she said she expected it to be hungrier. She was kissing him like it was the first time she has had contact with another human being in years, and it just might have been. She said she was single for a while before Amoreena, probably the whole time since as well.

“Spencer,” she took a moment to gasp for air, breathing against his lips as he did the same. “Can we?”

He kisses along her jaw then, moving towards her ear to whisper, “do what? Use your words.”

“Anything, just touch me please, god it’s been 12 years,” she begged as quietly as possible, tugging at his hair as he nibbled on her earlobe.

He kissed down her neck making his way towards her chest. Holding her by the hips now, she arched her back into the shelf as he kissed all the way to where her dress started to cover her breasts but he didn’t stop. Kissing over her clothes as he dropped down to his knees in front of her.

He undid his tie, slipping it off his neck and handing it to her, “in case you need to scream into something.”

She held it in her hand for a second, registering what he just said and moaning softly in response as she held it closer to her lips, he took that as a yes and slipped under her dress.

She was wearing just a pair of regular cut pink underwear, not expecting this in the slightest when she got ready this morning. He kissed her over top of the fabric, spreading her legs so that he could kiss the insides of her thighs as she tried to desperately grind into his face. grazing his teeth against her skin as she shivers, thighs shaking in anticipation.

He kisses right where her clit should be under the fabric, knowing he’s correct when she whimpers around the tie he handed her. It's muffled and adorable as he kisses her again and again, knowing she wants more and teasing her gently.

He pulls her panties to the side, mesmerized by how perfect she is for only a second before returning to the task at hand. Being the first person to pleasure her in years, wanting her to have the best time possible.

With one hand he holds her panties back, using his other to slowly swipe a single finger through her folds to see just how wet she was. Smirking against her thigh as he’s able to slip right in.

“Please,” he hears her whisper, lifting the dress up so she could look at what he’s doing.

“Such a good girl for me,” he pressed the words against her skin.

He spreads her legs even further, resting one of them on his shoulder as he dives in, sucking her clit into his mouth abruptly as he pumps his single finger in and out. She jerks her hips at the sudden contact, stuffing the tie in her mouth and biting down as she whimpers.

He knows what he’s doing, where all the pleasure spots are and what feels the best on most women. Searching around and trying different tongue movements, memorizing the sounds she makes and attempting to hear them again and again, knowing it means she’s enjoying herself.

That’s all he wanted, to please her. Not even realizing how hard he was as he continues to eat her out furiously in the back corner of the DC Public Library. He forgets they’re even in public entirely as he moans against her clit, sending shockwaves through her body.

She’s quaking then, holding onto the top of his head with one hand as the other grips a shelf. She’s panting into the material of the tie, the hot breath making its way through the fabric and stopping the whorish moans he knew she’d make. It had been too long since someone treated her right.

He added a second finger then, wanting to push her over the edge as he curled them, finding her g spot and caressing it with every thrust of his fingers. She clenched around him then, a high-pitched noise left her mouth as she finished around him.

He couldn’t help but smirk, re-moving his fingers and cleaning them off in his mouth. Releasing them with a pop before dragging his tongue along her one last time. Gathering up everything she released and placing her panties back over her nicely.

He kissed over her underwear one last time before fixing her dress and standing up, “did I manage to fulfill the dream?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, looking like she was coming down from a real high, not just an orgasm. She pulled him in close and held onto him for dear life as she continued to catch her breath, and then her hand started to wander.

“Nope,” Spencer whispered, moving her hand away from his aching cock. “As much as I want to, I’d rather fuck you at home.”

“Home huh?” She teased him, kissing his cheek softly as she pulled back.

"I love you," he whispers against her ear, without a fear in the world that she didn't feel the same way.

"I love you too, Spencer."

They couldn’t stop smiling at each other, it felt surreal to be this happy. He kissed her a few more times, staying hidden in the back corner until the blood in his body let this dick and went back to where it was supposed to be.

She just held him in her arms, leaning back against the shelves as they kissed softly, running her hands through his hair gently, over and over. She whispered a few thank you’s to him, letting him know it was everything she waited for.

It was truly perfect.

—

Amoreena was so happy to see him back at the farm when she got off the bus, she missed him during the few days he wasn’t there.

She asked him to help with her homework, her teacher assigning them an “all about me” project to showcase their growth at the end of the year ceremony. It was almost June, she only had a few weeks left before she was off for the summer and free to show him around the whole kingdom.

Y/N brought out a box of craft supplies and a collection of photos. Showing Spencer every single moment of her and Amoreena’s life.

From her first sonogram to the first bump photo, she had and every maternity shot on the farm you could think of, to the day she was born, her first bath, first steps, chocolate cake shoved on her nose at her first birthday, everything. He felt like he watched her grow up in the blink of an eye, staring at all the photos while Y/N and Amoreena made a plan for her project.

She did look a lot like him, in some instances, she even looked like his mom. There was a look Diana would get when she was intrigued with something, or when she was trying to figure something out. She’d bite her tongue and tilt her head, and it was exactly what Amoreena did.

He never thought he’d see a child-like himself this early, he always expected someone to contact him at 18 and surprise him like Rossi. He really never, ever thought he'd have a child in his life who he was blessed with watching grow up. He never believed someone would have a kid so much like him and allow him to see the world through their eyes. He was amazed by how lucky he got, to be brought into an already happy family that wanted him, they didn’t just need him.

There was no need for a father in Amoreena’s life, she was happily living her life with her grandparents and her mother, explaining to him that she had a bunch of aunts and uncles, plus 15 cousins and they all lived close too. Her life was full of people to love her, and yet she wanted Spencer to love her too.

“Can I put the photo of us at the museum on here too?” She asked Y/N, looking at Spencer to see if he was okay with it too. “I already told my friends that you’re my dad.”

He felt like he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t want to cry in front of her so instead he just stopped all movement inside of his body and held it in. Looking at Y/N who was also a little emotional as Amoreena went back to looking through the photos.

Amoreena didn’t even notice how their expressions changed, she didn’t understand the weight of the words as she said them. She was oblivious to the hole in Spencer’s heart that she was filling with glitter glue, making him feel like he was whole again.

“Yeah,” he finally managed to speak. “I’d love to be on your project.”

“I know you said we don’t need dads but I kinda want one,” Amoreena’s soft expression made his heart melt even more. He was putty in her hands, willing to be whatever she wanted from him as long as he could.

“When did you say that?” Y/N asked softly, confused as to where she was when they had a conversation.

“The other morning at breakfast, um, my father left when I was little. It was just me and my wonderful mother until I was 21, then I found someone to call Dad. His name was Jason Gideon, he was my mentor and he made he feel like I was smart and loved,” he smiled, letting her know he genuinely meant it. “There’s a big difference between being a father and being someone's dad.”

“What’s that?” Amoreena’s innocent mind running wild as she tried to figure out his meaning.

“Anyone can be a father when two adults make a baby,” he said softly, making eye contact with Y/N as she blushed. Knowing where he was going with this. “But dads are special, they’re the people who are supposed to make you feel safe and loved. A person who you can turn to for advice and know he’ll love you no matter what you have to say. Dad’s are supposed to love you forever, regardless of what happens in life. Just like your mom does already.”

Amoreena leaned into his chest, pressing her head against him softly. He wrapped his arms around her gently, giving her the tiniest hug he’s ever given. “I pick you then, you’re the best guy I know and I think that means you’d be a good dad.”

Y/N silently cried, getting up from the table and walking into the kitchen so Amoreena wouldn’t see her sob. Spencer tried to widen his eyes so the tears he was generating would slip back into his tear ducts. Not wanting to cry as she held him.

“I’d love to be your dad,” he whispered, kissing her head softly as she held him tighter. “But first I’ve gotta check on your mom,” he whispered into her hair. Watching her pull away and look for where she was.

“Okay,” Amoreena shrugged, returning to her project as he wandered into the kitchen.

She was leaning against the counter when he walked in, her dress pulled up over her face as she cried into the material. Wiping her face as Spencer walked in and looking at him with the happiest smile.

She was laughing into her tears then, shaking her head as she sobbed, “why am I crying?”

He laughed then too, pulling her into a hug and spinning her around gently as she kept laughing. Her face buried into his neck as she smiled, he set her down gently so he could pull her into a kiss.

Her cheeks were all wet as he held her face, peppering kisses to her lips as they both tried to stop smiling.

“I’m going to miss hearing her call you Spencer,” Y/N whispered.

“Me too,” he giggled again. “But dad does have a good ring to it.”

tag list:

@shemarmooresfedora

@spencers-dria

@spookyspence

@reidsfish

@manuosorioh

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

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ravysu · 3 years

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Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

#sannin week 2021 #orochimaru #tsunade #jiraiya #sannin #naruto #naruto headcanons

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themotherofhorses · 3 years

Text

or else they better dig two | b.b.

summary: the man standing before you was not your husband. not in the slightest. However, he was sorry. so fucking sorry. his white eyes showed you that.

pairing: bucky barnes x wife!reader

warning(s): angst, major wounds, kinda zombie!bucky?, main character/variant death, the ol’ winter soldier but 10x worse. bucky’s variant is from earth-807128 and, lemme tell ya, it is absolutely brutal in that universe.

a/n: um, yea, well, decided to give this a try. it’s short but simple. inspired by The Band Perry’s “Better Dig Two”.

It had been almost two months since you last seen your husband. Five weeks since he went complete radio silent. And thirteen days since his identification marker disappeared off the grid.

You were quite concerned, to say the least.

A few times would Bucky not answer for days at a time. The longest was five weeks, but that was before he sent you a surprised "I'm coming home bby" text, and his tiny bright-red marker sparkled as he grew closer to both New York and you.

But his ID marker had never disappeared off the S.H.I.E.L.D intel atlas. Not once during his entire career as an Avenger/S.H.I.E.L.D agent. That’s why you knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

You could feel it, deep in your bones. It made you feel a little sick.

Nick Fury was instantly made aware of this situation. He spent ten minutes just staring at the screen before directing both Steve and Sam to pack up. They would be deployed to Bucky's last known location and do a thorough areal search. It could be several reasons why he isn't showing up anymore, Maria Hill murmured, From a possibly fatal wound to an enemy ambush.

"Don't worry," she said with a tight-lipped smile that did not reach her eyes, "We'll find him. Or, better yet, Steve will. Cap would not allow his best friend to vanish off the face of the earth again. You know that. I know that. Everyone in this compound knows it."

With nothing really left to do, you wished Steve and Sam a bit of good luck and assured them that you’d update with anything new that came up in the database. It would take them roughly eight hours to reach Belgrade. Time was ticking. You felt nauseous.

Three days later, you received a much-needed update that didn’t do anything to alleviate your fears. Bucky's S.H.I.E.L.D-issued backpack was dug up near a desolate cabin within the Molin Forest. Scrapes of dark blood splattered the cabin's flooring, along with the most overpowering and appalling smell. It smells like a...like a dead body, Sam stated, covering his nose. Beside him, Steve dropped his head.

Tony left the room and Natasha threw her arms around you, holding you close as you wailed. Fury gave them the choice: come back home or search for the body.

They chose the latter. But they could not locate the remains of your husband. of your Bucky.

You felt nauseous again.

It had been almost three weeks since then. Condolences begin to pile in. “I am so sorry…It must be so devastating to lose your husband…To be a widow this young…If there is anything I can do….”

Then, the U.S. Army reached out, requesting if you wish for your husband to be buried in Arlington.

“He’ll be laid to rest alongside other members of the WWII Howling Commando Unit. There will be a plot next to him, reserved for you as his wife, of course.”

It was almost too much to take.

You want to scream and shout and cry because your husband is not dead, dammit.

To take your mind off of the most… recent issues, you decide to tuck yourself away inside your bedroom and reorganize the closet. On the left side, your clothing. On the right, Bucky's. You color-coordinated his Henley's and straightened up his boots, wondering if you should polish them as well.

No. Bucky prefers for his boots to be scuffed up. He likes to see the tiny scratches when the sunlight hits them. They’re like ‘little badges’ as he jokingly says.

You leave them alone and move on to the next.

As you're folding away shirts into the dresser, you hear a slight stumble outside. It sounds like someone almost tripped. You immediately stop what you're doing and listen. The footsteps are heavy against the hardwood. You could recognize them from a mile away.

"Bucky!" You shriek, feeling like crying from utter relief as you run towards him. "For the gods' sake, Bucky! You fucking terrified me! Where were you-" You suddenly stop in your steps, eyes widening in horror.

“Bucky?”

It's Bucky. But it's... it's not your Bucky.

Your hands are quick in an attempt to trap the ghastly scream that escapes your mouth. Somewhere, in the background, you can hardly make out FRIDAY asking if you require immediate emergency assistance.

It won't help, you think. It won't do jack shit.

Because Bucky is standing before you, 6′ft or so in the Winter Soldier suit.

Thick, ebony leather from neck to toe, with numerous weaponry and devices strapped to his waist. One thigh holds a pistol, his back carries another. His old metal arm, the one with the red star, hums with electricity. Over his mouth is the same black muzzle, which hides away the majority of his face. It leaves just his eyes to be seen, a pale white that is practically blinding.

“Bucky...”

A fat tear drips down your cheek as you take notice of the pitchfork buried deep in his chest. It's still fresh, blood trickling onto the floor. It matches the dried red along his scalp.

Yet, despite all his injuries and everything, Bucky stands motionless, every so often a twitch in his shoulders.

"Bucky...Oh, gods, what did they do to you, baby?"

He blinks, once, twice, four times. You stand, hushed, as you await his next move. Then, the skin between his brows creases, and he mumbles something. It's muffled, it's weak, yet you can hear it perfectly.

It's your name.

"Kill me. Kill me. Kill me..."

"Do it. Do it. Do it…"

"Please. Please. Please..."

You cannot move, nor can you think. Instead, you feel that familiar urge to suddenly vomit. When he sees that you haven’t done anything, he recites his pleas, each one a massive stab at your heart.

"Kill me. Kill me. Kill me..."

"Do it. Do it. Do it…"

"Please. Please. Please..."

You take a deep breath, biting back a large sob. In the back, amongst the walls, FRIDAY lets you know that Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Clint are rushing their way up to your floor.

“Do not worry, Mrs. Barnes. An on-site emergency medical team is on its way. ETA five minutes.”

But you know that any attempts would all be in vain.

There is no saving this Bucky, whoever he may be with these white eyes. You hope Steve will understand when he enters and sees the aftermath. Maybe he will if he realizes that this Bucky wasn’t yours, you tell yourself as you reach for the gun at your side.

And this would’ve been your last choice in any scenario given.

"I’m so sorry but I won’t have you endure this any longer. I’m better than that. I know it’s painful. Don’t worry, though, I will avenge you. Steve will avenge you. We‘ll all avenge you.” You raise your gun, finger heavy on the trigger.

He makes a deep drawl that kind of resembles a Steeevvvieee?

You nod, blinking back tears, “If we meet again, I beg you, please forgive me...”

A second later, Bucky collapses to the ground, forehead wet with new blood.

“Th...Thankkk...Yooouu...”

You have to remind yourself that this wasn’t your Bucky. Your Bucky isn’t dead on the floor with a bullet in his brain and a pitchfork in his chest. He’s gonna come back, you repeat, rocking yourself back and forth as you eye all the blood pooling around the body.

That wasn’t him.

It was not.

He’s gonna come home.

Or else they better dig two.

#marvel cinematic universe #the avengers #avengers imagine #mcu bucky barnes #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #marvel’s what if #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader

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millytempesta · 3 years

Text

Save me.

Chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4.

Paring: Asahi Azumane x reader

Rating: Fluff, love at first sight (?).

Summary: Asahi is a marine biologist, who is in charge of taking care of the strange creature that they found.But what happens when he discovers that other biologists are experimenting on his precious sea treasure, leaving it a shaky, scared mess?He'll need all the help from his friends to rescue the little fish and take it back to his blue house.

Warnings: This story will contain SMUT, MENTION OF DARK THEMES (Y/n past), MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOMEONE.

A/n: Hiii, I tried my best, this was the story of a comic that I wanted to draw from a long time, but because I can't find myself taking the pen in hand, I decided to try and write it down.I hope you'll like it.English is not my first language, and I don't usually write, so I'm sorry if there is any spell or grammar error.

The sea has always been a place of peace for Asahi, a place where he could submerge and forget, even for a little, all the anxiety that the surface was full of.

When he put his diving suit on, and his mask, it was like he was back into the court, full of energy and excitement, but instead of judging eyes, screams and fakes rumors around him, there were calm, silent and colourful fishes who happily swam through the blue water.

Here he could be himself, showing all his love for the sea creatures, and saving those who were sick or hurt.

Thanks to his natural talent, the Seto Marine Biological Laboratory, offered him one of the most important tasks in his entire career.

Saying he was excited was a euphemism, they discovered a new species, who could apparently communicate in some sort of way with humans, and they chose Asahi as the only person who would be in tight contact with it, taking care of the creature.

What they asked was easy, feeding it, playing with it, stimulating it to see its reactions to the various situations and objects and finally finding a way to let it share its knowledge of the sea with him.

The fact that he was the one chosen for this job made him feel proud of his hard work until now, by what really got him, was that he would have been one of the first people to interact with a new entire species.

They didn’t give him much explanation of it, saying that it was best if no one, excluded the chosen one for this job, knew about it existed before they could understand better its origin and its role in the big blue mass.

Turning the small key under the red button, the colour green appeared in the last level of the elevator, allowing him to push it. After mere seconds -that seemed like hours for the poor brunette- the door finally opened, showing a long corridor full of cameras.

Gulping he started making his way through the dark walls, coming to a stop in front of a metal door. Sliding his personal magnet card, , the door of the most restricted area of the lab opened for him.

With a new wave of excitement he moved fast to the final door, adorned with a shining targ saying “Doctor Azumane Asahi Office”.

Opening it thanks to his magnetic card, he stood shocked on his track.

The room was big, on his left was a huge bookcase that took up the whole wall, in front of it there was a big desk, with a computer, a laptop and a modern desk lamp.

On his right there was a whiteboard and a big table filled with lab equipment that he could use during his research.

In the middle of the room were two armchairs facing what left Asahi shocked;

All the front wall was missing, letting space to a window that faced the huge aquarium that lighted the room of a light blue colour.

The aquarium was deeper than his eyes could see, not letting the light reach the bottom of it, he supposed that the huge tank was the house of the unknown creature… Talking about the creature…

He tried to search for it, but he arrived at the conclusion that it was hiding in the bottom of it.

A ‘bib’ sound was what woke him up from his trance like state. Turning to the door, the head of the project was now standing in front of him.

“Good morning Doctor Asahi, I hope you didn’t have problems finding the office”.

Doctor Furukawa has been one of the kindest people in the lab, always believing in Asahi’s potential, taking him in his lab the day after his graduation.

Bowing respectfully, a shaky smile formed in the brunette's smile.

“Good morning Doctor Furukawa, the walk was fine, I found the office pretty easily, the targ helped a lot thank you”.

Chuckling, he patted his back “Good! Now, I bet you are dying to see it, should we go upstairs?”.

A sparkle of excitement passed through his eyes, nodding eagerly in response.

Laughing at his response, Furukawa pointed to a door situated on the right wall, next to the whiteboard.

“That door will take you directly upstairs to the top of the tank. Is your special entry to the more open side of the aquarium. Other operators in the project will have a separated entry, that will land them in a more closed area, where they won’t be able to be in a more than necessary contact with the creature. We want for it to get used to you, we know how stressful it is for a wild creature to be put in a restricted place, we don’t want to put even more stress on it with lots of new faces every day.”

Walking in the water room, a light music was playing in the background, making Asahi’s nerves relax.

The Doctor reached for a bucket full of fish.

“Apparently it likes music, that’s how we first find it”.

Furukawa passed the buck to the younger Doctor.

“I was with the rescue team near the relit, a poor dolphin got stuck in one of the fish nets on the bottom of the boat.”

Throwing the fish from the buck into the water, both men stilled, waiting for the creature to emerge.

“To celebrate we put some music on, and that’s when it appeared, like a curious child.”

Bubbles picked on the surface, indicating the arrival of something.

“We were, to say the least, shocked.”

Asahi froze.

‘What…’

Colour drained from his face.

He fell on his knees to the ground, staring at the creature.

A very human head picked from under the water, watching with curious eyes the man, making the older man next to him chuckle.

“We thought we were hallucinating.”

A webbed hand emerged, taking hold of a fish. (E/c) eyes studied the dead animal, bringing it near what seemed to be a nouse, as to test its safety.

With a happy hum, the creature opens its mouth revealing sharp pointed teeth, who cut the fish in half so easily, that make it look like butter.

Finishing the fish in only two mouths full, the creature moved quickly to another fish, startling Asahi.

Turning to the Doctor, a shaky finger pointed to the human head in the water.

“I-it’s… It’s… What is it?”

A hum leaves the old man’s lips.

“We don’t know, the bottom half seems to be (Favourite fish -I personally really like the betta fish), but the top half… Well it’s very human like.”

Gulping down, the brunette tried to gather his courage, slowly making his way back up.

The creature looked up at him, moving slightly closer to the edge.

Taken by surprise, Asahi stepped back, making the half fish’s head tilt slightly sideways, curiously looking at him.

Looking around itself, it quickly spotted an untouched fish.

Cautiously it moved again slowly to the edge, purging the fish to the young man, making him confused.

With a light nudge of his elbow, the doctor motioned for him to get closer.

Holding his breath, he lowered to the ground,extending a shaky hand toward the creature.

At the movement in the water, he shut his eyes.

‘OH GOD IT’S GOING TO EAT ME! I WON’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO REACT, WITH THOSE SHARP TEETH, IT’S GOING TO EAT ME IN TWO MOUTH FULL, JUST LIKE THOSE FISHES! Oh Suga, Daichi… You’ve been the best friend ever, I’m sorry I won’t have time to say goodby one last time… And Noa! I still have to give back the film that he gave to me… And I also need to give him back those 500 ¥… I’m such a horrible friend, I deserve to be eaten by an unknown creature who is putting something on my hand- Wait…’

Cracking an eye open, he peeked at his hand.

A fish was now placed on his hand.

Confused he looked at the creature, who was looking back at him with what seemed to be an excited expression.

Sensing his confusion, it took hold of another fish, quickly taking a bite from it and showing it to him.

Looking down at his hand he slowly looked back at the half human, still confused.

Throwing the last piece of fish in its mouth, he cautiously moved closer to Asahi, giving him time to move away if wanted.

When the man didn’t move, a cold webbed hand made its way over his warm one, nudging it toward his face.

“W-What do you want me to do?”

The other hand made its way from under the water, pointing a finger to the fish.

Following its movement, he quickly understood the fact that it was trying to communicate.

Looking back to its pointing hand he stated “The fish…?”

The hand moved again, now pointing at its mouth, showing off its teeth.

“...Oh! Eat?”

With a final swing the finger was now pointing directly at him.

“Me? You want me to eat it?”

A huge grin spread through the creature’s face, who nudged again his hand, motioning again to its mouth.

Feeling even more confused, he looked at its eyes.

“But why?”

Pointing at him, it made a shocked face, faking to faint, falling under the blue liquid.

Coming back from under the water it pointed at him, then the fish, to finally point to its face who was showing a big smile.

The creature watched patiently at Asahi, who tried to connect all its movement.

Like a light who turned on in his head, he quickly looked back at it.

“You want me to eat it because you saw me shocked and you want me to feel better?”

A loud happy chirp escapes the half human, who was now swimming happily in a circle around the pool.

Feeling like every fear washed away, Asahi finally let out the breath that was holding in his body, letting his shoulders relax and moving even closer to the water.

With a sweet smile he left the fish fall in the water, pointing with his finger to him.

“I can’t eat it”, pointing his finger to his tummy, faking to feel bad. “It will make me feel sick”.

He then started searching in his lab coat’s pocket for the small snack he always carried with him.

Showing it to the creature, he then pointed at his tummy and then to his smile “This is good, I can eat it.”

The creature quickly understood, taking the fish and throwing it far away from Asahi.

Turning back, it beamed up at him.

Without any fear left in his body, he gives time to his eyes to study the creature more closely.

Its tail was long, swinging into the water absently, reminding him of the absent swinging of the legs that people do when bored or when thinking.

It was covered in shining (F/c) scales, who covered most of its body melting with the (s/c),.more humanlike, skin under its belly bottom.

The upper part was recognized as a woman-like shape.

Her breast was covered by an intersection of sea shells and pearls, holded together by some seaweed.

Her (h/c) hair was neatly pulled up in a sideways ponytail, graced by pearls and shells, like her top.

He noticed just now, how gorgeous the creature really was.

With a blush he looked away, making her curious.

Putting her hands on the edge of the pull, she leaned her head over them, staring inquisived at him.

“It seems it likes you.”

A small yelp escapes Asahi’s mouth, who forgot the presence of the older male behind him.

With an apologetic expression he turned to look at him.

“I-I… Do you think?”

Crossing his arms over his chest, he proudly looked at him.

“It never got this close to anyone on its own initiative. It looks like you two have now a bond.”

Looking down at her eyes, he let out a relaxed hum.

Slowly he moved his hand to her face, not wanting to scare her.

When he reached her head, he waited for her to get closer, responding to her inquisitive stare with a warm smile.

She slowly closed the space, testing the warm feeling on her cold skin.

A purr escapes her, nuzzling closer into his hand.

“It’s a she…”

Looking back up at him, a smile brighter than the sun appeared on her features.

Responding with a just as warm smile, he finally stated “And her name is (y/n)”.

Hope you did like it,

Leave a kudos if you did!

Leave a comment if you didn't, telling me what was wrong, so that I can get better!

Leave also a comment if you did like it, your opinion is very important to me.

#asahi fluff #azumane x reader #azumane x you #azumane smut #azumane asahi #hq azumane #hq asahi #asahi #fanfic #fantasy #mermaid #mermaid au #alternative huniverse #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu

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trulisthetic · 4 years

Note

I had a bad day today. I did something stupid and got in an online argument with someone who told me that Jim and Pam were an unhealthy couple. I told her why I don't think that's the case without insulting her and got shot down anyway. What would you make of it?

This turned into a monster-post. Oops.

First and foremost, I’m really sorry that you had a bad day. My understanding is that that “someone” wasn’t very kind and respectful to you even though you were towards them. You know, the internet is such a wild place. Under the cover of online profiles we create for ourselves we sometimes act in ways we wouldn’t in real life. We forget that there is an actual person on the other end and not a heartless machine. And being on the receiving end of that... well, it sucks. I’m sorry you had to deal with that today.

I get that you feel like you did something stupid - because yes, online arguments don’t often get us anywhere, they only end up frustrating us, even hurting us sometimes. But trust me when I tell you this: If you were respectful and didn’t insult her, then you did absolutely nothing wrong. This wasn’t your fault. They’re the only ones accountable for their behavior. I get that you feel off right now, but really, all you can do from this point forward is; just keep swimming :P

All that aside, not everyone is going to agree on everything at that is granted. And it is okay. That’s what makes the people that think like us and share our interests so special and beautiful in our eyes, you know? It’s okay if somebody on the internet doesn’t think Jim and Pam are a healthy couple. Maybe they trigger something for them - a reminder of a past relationship that didn’t end well. Or maybe there is no reason for it - this is just the way they view it. All of those are fine, everyone is entitled to an opinion. I would even be interested in hearing them out, because, honestly, I can’t think of how Jim and Pam’s relationship could possibly be considered unhealthy. But from what I understand - and correct me if I’m wrong! It’s just what I got from the way you phrased your question - the person you argued with didn’t really have many points themselves, they were just arguing for the sake of arguing, finding problems when there really weren’t any. And that’s what’s really problematic. When people go out and shout accusations of unhealthy and problematic and abusive relationships, all they do is make a fool out of the REAL problematic and abusive ones. And that’s the true tragedy in all this.

Now onto Jim and Pam themselves. It never even occurred to me that this would be an issue; their relationship being considered ‘unhealthy’.

Since day one, Jim and Pam have always ALWAYS brought out the best in one another. And I believe that anyone who argues on this point in particular has been watching a different show. I mean seriously, they were written this way. Their love was, to its core, written to be of the purest kind. They have a strong base as friends, which is the best foundation you can have in a relationship. And they’ve always been each other’s “person”, since the first season. The one they turn to every time they have a problem, like when Pam is frustrated with Roy, or when Jim dies of boredom. They’re partners in crime, their time together is full of the most awe-worthy combination of mischief and touching moments, and just... joy. Have you seen two people happier to just be with each other’s presence? Have you seen anyone’s eyes light up the way Jim’s does every time Pam “chooses him” when she’s “bored” or when she tells him he has “very nice teeth”? Have you seen on anybody else's face that wide smile (with the tongue peeking between the teeth) that Pam gets every time Jim takes a second too long to choose a jellybean flavor, or buys her a coke for a round of jinx? Those two bring the greatest amount of joy to each other, while doing the smaller, most insignificant things. The only thing that could possibly make them wrong would be if their relationship was toxic.

And Jim and Pam’s relationship is not toxic.

Let's look at some signs of a toxic relationship okay?

It feels bad. All the time. Well. I kinda just went through that. The only times it’s felt bad for them was when they were apart, in season 3 mostly, and then in season 9. And yes, they had marital problems. So, SO many couples do, if not every single one. They handled one situation poorly, and it backfired on them, and they drifted apart. And then they found their way back to each other. At this point, I want to quote one of my favorite pieces of writing, ever. I use it a lot, but it applies here so perfectly, so... @acutelesbian said: “A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.” A while later, she reblogged her own post and added: “I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class. After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort. She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice. Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation. The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with. The divorced ones said they chose to walk away. Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days. I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.” There it is. So. Jim and Pam had some issues during season 9. They didn’t communicate well, they made some poor choices, they didn’t handle the situation they were thrown in very gracefully. And yet they made a choice, the choice to stay and push and fight for their relationship. They went to therapy, together. They opened up, discussed their feelings, communicated, worked out a solution. They chose each other, even though at the time they weren’t each other’s favorite person. They went through a rough patch and came out of it together, stronger than ever. And HAPPY. If that’s not the epitome of a healthy relationship, then I don’t know what the fuck is. Having said all that, I think I also covered these signs of a toxic relationship:

You avoid saying what you need because there’s just no point.

There’s no effort.

Nothing gets resolved. So let's move on to the next ones.

You’re constantly braced for the ‘gotcha’. This is for when there’s a trap in every statement or question, and even though everyone makes mistakes, yours are used as proof that you’re too uninvested, too wrong, too stupid, too something. And this is seriously as far from Jim and Pam as humanly possible. They’re seriously the exact opposite of that, always lifting each other up and supporting one another through their mistakes.

When ‘no’ is a dirty word. “I think I want a wedding-wedding.” “Cranford? No.” “I don’t know if I want this.” “I don’t think you should go to Philly tonight.”

The score card. Let me show you how wrong you are. Before they were together, they both had some “weak” moments, during which they didn’t exactly act fairly. Not once in all these years have we EVER seen one call the other out on their past mistakes. They’re not keeping score, they’re discussing them, dealing with them and moving on. There isn’t a more mature way to go about this.

There’s a battle – and you’re on your own. Again. In every chance they get, in any problem they face with third persons, they always stand by the other’s side and lift them up and support them. Just like when Pam was there for Jim when Ryan made his life hard in s4, or when Dwight terrorized him with the snow in s7. And just like when Jim made the list for Pam when Robert California set her aside, or when he demanded answers by her side from the dude who did call “a dork like that” back. Those two are a team, and not just when they’re planning ways to prank Dwight, or they’re sharing looks across the room over how ridiculous Michael is being.

Privacy? What privacy? Oh, I LOVE this one about them. How they get to be individuals and they are not defined by one another. They get their private time, private hobbies, and that’s such a healthy part of a relationship that so many just overlook. The only time that wasn’t the case was when they were using the world’s smallest Bluetooth - but it was so obvious that they were both craving it so much because they were missing each other, and they were both more than comfortable with it. Until that conversation with her classmate happened, which I’m sure signaled the end of that way of communication for them. But remember all those months they were apart? Remember how Jim TURNED BACK halfway to New York because “I’m not that guy. And we’re not that couple”? Remember how respectful they’ve always been of each other’s need for privacy?

The lies. Oh the lies! The only lie between the two (If you don’t count the “I can’t” of Casino Night and the “It was three years ago. I’m totally over it.” of The Secret) was when Jim didn’t tell Pam that he started a business in Philly. Which he told her an episode late, by himself. And it served as the perfect opportunity to show just how steady the foundations of their relationship are, and how much they trust and faith they have in one another and in their love. I’ll never forget how Pam reacted to realizing that Jim is keeping something from her. She didn’t call him out or corner him for answers, she simply waited for him to tell her when he’s ready. Then when the idea of an affair was thrown on the table, Pam shrugged it off, saying “Jim? No. He loves me too much”. And it’s not easy to say that theoretically, much along actually act on it. But when in season 8 Kathy hit on Jim while they were in that hotel, there’s a deleted scene of Jim and Pam on the phone, and Pam is actually joking about the whole thing. It’s impressive and miraculous just how deeply these two trust each other, and believe that they would never hurt the other like that.

Physical or verbal abuse. Or both. We’ve seen Pam being handled roughly by Roy, and then we’ve seen the way Jim treats her, like she’s the most precious butterfly. And HEAVEN HELP ME, the guy was too scared to look at her for too long in the beginning. He’s the most gentle and caring man I’ve seen, in words and actions alike. And the very same goes for Pam. The only time she’s spoken badly to him was when she said “Shut it” as she was storming off Michael’s office when she found out he was dating her mom and Jim knew. And she was clearly very upset and not acting like herself. But we can all agree that this is not a pattern of behavior, and that Jim and Pam have NEVER, EVER been abusive towards one another.

Not including the other in big decisions. This is the only one that’s kinda true. Jim decided to buy his parents’ house, then decided to start a business, then Pam decided to sell the house, all without including the other. Despite those, that was an issue that they were not blind towards, and Pam even brought it up in season 9, and it was one of the problems they worked through at couples therapy. And that’s exactly what a healthy and mature relationship looks like.

So there you have it. Those are the main signs of an unhealthy relationship. Wanna hear the definition of a healthy one?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on: Mutual respect. Trust. Honesty. Support. Fairness/equality. Separate identities. Good communication. A sense of playfulness/fondness.

In a healthy relationship you:

Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship

Maintain and respect each other’s individuality

Maintain relationships with friends and family

Have activities apart from one another

Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences

Are able to feel secure and comfortable

Allow and encourage other relationships

Take interest in one another’s activities

Do not worry about violence in the relationship

Resolve conflict fairly: Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled. Fighting fairly is an important skill you help you have healthier relationships

Have respect for sexual boundaries

Are honest about sexual activity if it is a sexual relationship

Accept influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men.

Trust each other and be honest with each other

Have the option of privacy

Now, let us all think each and every one of those through. And let’s think about it twice before we accuse perfectly healthy relationships of being toxic.

That’s all I have to say. Sorry, this was so long, and thank you for staying to this point!

All I know is that, for me, Jim and Pam’s relationship - along with that of my parents’ - is the healthiest one my eyes have ever seen. And I feel so lucky to have discovered those two gems. 💜

#jam #jim and pam #pam and jim #jim halpert #Pam Beesly #healthy relationship #the office #the office us #rambles #masterpost #monsterpost #qs & as #Anon #answered

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heartbeatan · 4 years

Text

Crimson Park (Chapter 6)

Return to Chapter 5.

Return to Table of Contents.

Return to Desperado Series.

Return to Jungkook Fanfictions.

Return to Masterlist.

Chapter 6

Your stomach was in knots since the discovery. You poured over the evidence tirelessly, hoping to find some sort of explanation for where the money was going, but no matter which way you looked at it, Carter had a quarter of a million dollars that was unaccounted for. Dongnam was out of the country and unreachable, so your first opportunity to speak to him was going to be at the operations meeting – and you were dreading it. You knew the kinds of things Dongnam did to people who betrayed him, and you were none too pleased about the idea of having to witness it – especially since it was you who was ultimately the one exposing him.

Like an addiction, you found yourself out at the club once again; trying to forget the world around you; trying to hideout from what you had to do. Jungkook escorted you again this time, and – like clockwork – he escorted out the stranger you brought home with you at the end of the night. This time wasn’t so bad – that is until the sex was over… but, hey, at least you got some this time. Jungkook stopped asking if you were okay, but you could see in his eyes that the question wasn’t far from his tongue - even through the rearview mirror.

“You did good work,” you said to Jungkook. “Good job.”

“Thank-you, ma’am.”

Jungkook was in the driver’s seat while you sat in the backseat flipping through the papers you had strewn over your lap. You were on your way to the meeting. This time, the location was far out of town, in a country estate. Each meeting was in a different location for the sake of safety and to avoid prying eyes. Jungkook willingly volunteered to come as security, while Taesub and Joohyuk were happy to remain behind.

“What’s going to happen to him?” Jungkook asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know. But I can’t imagine it will be pleasant,” you looked up at him through the rear-view mirror. He looked back at you, a shade of concern in his eyes. He figured out easily that the whole thing had you bothered. “But he put himself in this position.”

Jungkook nodded.

“What’s going to happen when we get there?”

“Ah, yes. We should talk about that,” you cleared your throat. “I’ve asked that you be kept to the perimeter.”

“But I’m your bodyguard.”

“I’ll be fine in the house. I don’t want you anywhere near it.”

“Why?”

“God, you always ask so many questions.”

“Sorry, ma’am.”

Jungkook shut his mouth, but, regardless, you chose to answer him.

“I like that our team stays unnoticed. If you’re by my side the whole time, you’ll be noticed – especially this weekend of all of them. There’s going to be a lot of ruffled feathers.”

“Isn’t that more of a reason that I should be with you the whole time?”

“I’ll be fine. Keep your phone on, and I’ll call you if I need you. But otherwise, I’m asking you to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Please.”

“Ok,” he promised, but he sounded disappointed

"The other two always wanted to join me as well, but they get it now. One day you'll realise that here it’s better to remain under the radar, and then you'll understand."

"Well, we've got about another hour, why don't you just explain it to me now and give me a head start?"

"Maybe on the way back, I've got too much to do before we get there."

⁂

The estate was like walking into an episode of Downton Abbey. A massive home with a yard which went beyond farther than you could see. Jungkook pulled the car up along the long driveway which circled around a fountain and then he stopped and parked in front of the grand staircase. As instructed, after helping you out of the car and grabbing your luggage, he left to find his accommodations down by the perimeter in the old yard hands’ buildings. You found your room on the second floor, tucked away from the others. It was a tiny, whitewashed wood panelled room with a sloped ceiling. It must’ve been a servant’s quarters in its day. You changed your clothes, then turned to the mirror to fix your makeup, being sure to wipe off and reapply your lipstick before you headed out to the first meeting of the day.

The morning session dragged on forever despite how busy you were. Employees reviewed their progress and profits and aired their grievances to Dongnam. You had to be on top of nearly all they reported and all they requested, breaking down the numbers and finding if there was room for their asks. Nonetheless, you were pleased for the slow clock since you hadn’t been called yet to meet privately with Dongnam.

After the afternoon’s meetings concluded, and everyone else headed to the bar in the saloon, you were summoned to his office. As you made your way there, your body coursed with adrenaline, you had to consciously slow yourself down. Dongnam in many ways was a gracious leader, but you had worked for him long enough to know that demeanour could change on a dime.

“Come in,” you heard his low growl from the other side of the large, wood carved door when you knocked. You creaked it open and strode inside, taking a seat immediately in front of Dongnam’s desk. He didn’t look up at you at first. It made you think of Jungkook, since you pulled this same move the day you met him. It was unsettling now to see the comparison. But Dongnam always did this, no matter how well he knew someone or how much he liked them. You, however, didn’t shuffle uncomfortably in your seat the way you used to when you were in his presence. You may have feared the things Dongnam did, but you refused to let him think you were intimidated by him. That’s why you were one of his favourites. So, instead you studied his greying features – his goatee, his salt and pepper hair and the wrinkles forming across his face – until his charade was over and he was ready to speak to you.

“I see profits are up almost across the board,” he finally spoke.

“They are, sir.”

“Except for the whore houses in the city,” you flinched at his use of the term.

“No, sir.”

“What did you think of Shamrock’s proposal?”

“To get more girls?”

“Yes.”

"I think it will have the opposite effect."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because we can't sell the assets that we already have. We've cut food supply back about as far as we can sir - it's almost cruel at this point, in my opinion. If we bring in more mouths to feed, it'll get worse - and I don't know how many men want to pay for sex with an emaciated woman."

"What do you propose then?"

You kept your demeanour still, even though your insides were churning. You handed him the proposal you and Jungkook had worked on.

"There's a lot of information in there, but basically we've gone through our stats, and I think that we've come up with a solution that will help us adjust to demand as demand changes. I think we might even come out above target this way."

Dongnam scanned the first few pages.

"I can walk you through it in full, if you'd like?"

"I'll read it later," he set it aside. "Cobb wants to open up another weapons depot. I'd rather move the ones we have. How can we do that?"

You internally side. no matter how prepared you were he was always going to bring something on you that you weren't ready for. "I mean, we need to wait for another civil war to flair up."

“I don’t like that uncertainty.”

“Sorry, sir. It’s really not my department. I just run the numbers. But if it's any consolation, one thing in this world we can guarantee is war. Maybe you should open another depot and stockpile. Then you can sell more when that happens, and you have mass buyers."

He offered a noise as a response but nothing more.

“Do you have anything to report?”

You took a long breath then pulled Carter’s file from your bag and handed it to Dongnam.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“I think Carter has been cutting salaries of his employees and pocketing the rest for himself.”

Dongnam opened the file and began scanning the pages. He said nothing, so you continued.

“You personally haven’t lost any income; however, his employees are only getting a portion of what he is reporting. I couldn’t find where the remainder was going, so I can only assume he’s keeping it.”

“How sure are you?”

“Pretty sure, sir. My new associate and myself have both independently and codependently checked multiple times. There is definitely an inconsistency. It seems to date back to when you authorised a raise for his employees. He reported the raise, but he never paid it. I don't know for how long he was intending on keeping this up."

Dongnam again said nothing but continued to review the file. When the silence lasted too long, you spoke again.

“What shall we do, sir?”

“I think we should ask him. Give him an opportunity to explain himself. Don’t you?”

Your heart stopped. Did he really want to parade Carter around in front of you while you accused him of stealing?

“That seems only fair, sir,” you said regardless.

Dongnam reached over to the intercom on his desk and clicked a button.

“Inform your men that Carter is not to leave the property. If he tries, bring him to me – dead or alive.”

You shivered at the thought. Dongnam then buzzed another number.

“Escort Carter to my office.”

Minutes later, you were sharing the same space as Carter as Dongnam glared at him.

“It’s not true, sir,” Carter whined. “That bitch is setting me up.”

Coward.

“Are you setting him up, Ms. Park?” Dongnam asked, his eyes not leaving Carter.

“No, sir,” you replied, successfully keeping your voice hardened. Dongnam hated unsureness the most.

"If I were to call around to your employees, would they say that they're receiving the salary that you reported them getting?"

The vein in Carter’s jaw throbbed. He knew he was done for. "No, sir."

“So, where is my money?”

“I… I don’t have it, sir,” said Carter.

“Well, you have 24 hours to find it, or else we’ll need to start taking some disciplinary steps,” Dongnam’s tone cut through you like a knife. It wasn’t angry, it wasn’t even a warning, it was a promise. “Now get the fuck out of my face.” He turned his gaze back down to the papers in front of him. If looks could kill, Carter’s would have had you dropping dead. His eyes seethed and shot daggers into you, and for a moment you stopped breathing – terrified that this asshole was still going to be walking around the same building as you for at least another 24 hours.

“Unless you have anything else, I want you gone too,” Dongnam gruffed at you once the door shut behind Carter. Happily, you grabbed your things and left the room without another word.

⁂

“Open this fucking door!” a banging came from the other side of your bedroom door. “You fucking whore! I wanna talk to you!” Carter’s voice slurred and you could miraculously hear the slink of the almost empty liquor bottle he must’ve been holding. “Wake up, you bitch!”

His monstrous banging on your door woke you up from a light sleep with a racing pulse - terrified of what would happen if he managed to get past it - what he would do to you.

You didn’t have a weapon. You didn’t have anything to defend yourself with and, even though his manic episode would have been heard throughout the floor, you knew no one was coming to help you. No one ever did. That’s what happens when you’re the organisation's rat. All you had was your cell phone, so, you grabbed it, then carefully tip-toed across the room and tucked yourself into the tiny closet and shut the door.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jungkook’s voice came through the phone.

“Jungkook,” you whispered, but you didn’t know what else to say. You weren’t even sure why you were calling him.

“Yes?” he asked suspiciously.

“Get the fuck out here!!!” Carter had now started kicking the door. You jumped with his every contact and the sound of cracking wood sounded like the crack of thunder.

“What the hell is happening?” you heard Jungkook’s voice through the phone.

“Carter is trying to get in my room,” you whispered.

“I’m coming now,”

“No, no… don’t,” you pleaded. “He’s drunk. He’ll tire himself out.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I’ll be there in a minute.” You could hear the wind through the phone as Jungkook was now clearly outside.

“No. Stop. I’m okay. Please, just stay on the phone with me until he’s gone?”

“If he doesn’t stop by the time I get there, I’m coming up. Where is your room?”

You paused. You didn’t want Jungkook involved in a scene, but despite what you had told him, Carter was a real threat and there was no sign of him slowing down.

“Talk to me. Are you okay?” Jungkook panted into the phone.

“I’m fine. He’s still outside.”

“You fucking cunt,” Carters voice rang out. "I will fucking kill you."

"Y/N tell me where your fucking room is, now!" Jungkook seethed through the phone.

"Third floor. Furthest to the left at the top of the stairs."

"I'm thirty seconds away."

"Bitch!!!" Carter growled again, and with a final bang, you heard his heavy footsteps clomp down the hall.

“I think he’s gone,” you whispered back into the phone.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I’m almost at the house."

“Stop. You don’t need to come here.”

“I think I should.”

“No. Please. I’m sorry I bothered you, just go back,” you went to hang up the phone.

“No, hey, wait!” he stopped you. “What if he comes back?”

“I’ll call you if I need you.”

“I can stay,” he pleaded. “I can stay on the phone with you. To be sure. Until you fall asleep.”

You pursed your lips as you considered his proposition. You wanted to say “yes.” Your heart was still pounding, and your skin still crawled with anxiety. Jungkook was the only ally you had in this forsaken place - but with Carter gone, you were now more concerned with Jungkook being seen, and you coming off as scared, weak, and needy to him and everyone else. You were about to say no when Jungkook spoke again.

“For my sanity, please – stay on the phone with me. I can’t talk about tits and bullets anymore.”

You breathed out a chuckle. You knew he was putting you on – giving you an excuse to stay on the phone with him, but you happily accepted the ruse. “Ok. Just go somewhere out of sight.”

“Okay,” he said, then you heard him exhale as he must’ve sat down somewhere.

“Where are you?” you asked.

“Mmm, just on some park bench under a tree. They have tons of them out here. Just scattered everywhere. Park benches.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I guess back in the day they just walked and sat everywhere they went. Imagine living in a house like this?”

“I couldn’t. Too many people. All those servants just to keep the place afloat. It would be a nightmare.”

“You don’t like people very much, do you?” he chuckled.

“I like some people.”

“Like who?”

You thought for a moment. “Taesub and Joohyuk."

“Ouch. That hurts,” he feigned offence, and you smiled. “What’s your room like?”

“Mmm, well, it has a tiny closet but it's still big enough to hide in when drunk assholes show up in the middle of the night.”

“I can still come - sleep on the floor. I’ll be gone by morning before anyone notices.”

“No, it’s okay,” you breathed, your voice less alarmed. “He’s long gone now. You might actually see him. The last time we stayed in a place like this, he passed out in the fountain outside."

"He didn't drown?"

"Unfortunately, it had a leak and couldn't hold water."

Jungkook sniffed, but then neither of you had anything more to say on the topic, so you fell into a comfortable silence - until you realised that it was comfortable, which made you uncomfortable.

"We should get some rest."

“Just a few more minutes," he said softly.

You quickly rationalised you could spare a few more while you pulled yourself from the closet. “Okay," you pushed the door open, peering into the room to be sure no one was waiting for you. "So, what did you learn about tits and bullets today?"

Jungkook laughed, but then went ahead to tell you all about it. He wasn't lying - they really did constantly talk about boobs and weapons. Soon enough, you were in your bed, cozy and your heart had calmed thanks to Jungkook’s soothing banter.

"Does this sort of thing happen a lot?" he asked you, referring to Carter, after he was done telling you about the fun stuff.

"It happens enough. The upper echelons of Dongnam's organisation isn't exactly about holding hands and singing Kumbaya. It's a little more like Battle Royale."

“Is this why you want to keep us hidden from everyone else?” Jungkook asked.

“Partially, yes,” you replied. “The other part is for your own good. Once you’re noticed here it’s harder to get out.”

“Oh?”

“Not everyone wants to climb the ladder. Some want a chance at a real life. I think you’ll want that too one day.”

He sighed, then went quiet for another moment. You yawned.

"You know…" he whispered. "Times like these I might mistaken you for someone who is kind of soft."

"Don't make that mistake, Jungkook."

“I'm serious. You care a lot more than you put off; you know that?”

“Well… whether or not it's true, don't tell anyone you think that. Around here it's like the smell of blood in shark waters.”

You fell into another silence, and you listened to the soft sound of the breeze and chirping crickets coming through the phone. You yawned again, ready to fall asleep but not ready to let go of the phone.

"What are you doing now?" you asked.

"Just looking up at the stars. You forget how many stars there are in the sky when you're in the city and you can't see them. I'm kind of imagining this as our camping trip."

"Jungkook…" You scoffed. What was with him and this camping trip? But he didn't answer. "Jungkook?" The phone was silent.

Then… the door to your room pushed open and for a moment you panicked, fearing Carter had picked the lock and was back. You gripped hard on the phone as you watched the shadow moving through the frame, ready to call Jungkook again, until you realised who it was entering your room. Jungkook.

He looked back at you, through the dark space lit only by the moon, his eyes letting you know that he was here – for you.

He closed the door quietly behind him, never once breaking your locked gaze. As he walked timidly across the room, your insides fluttered as if a thousand butterflies were flapping their wings madly through your every vein. When he made his way next to your bed, you unconsciously shuffled across the mattress, making room for him to lay down beside you, which he did.

He crawled up beside you, and you felt him run his palm up your thigh, then hip, before dipping it beneath your waist, wrapping his arms around you and pulling your back flush against his chest. He nuzzled his face into your hair at your neck, and you felt his hot breaths warm on your skin – each one sending a wave of electricity down your spine.

Your blood was drumming in your ears, and you were sure Jungkook could hear the sound of your heartbeat. He was here to keep you safe, but you knew he was here for more than just that… and you wanted it.

After what felt like an eternity of just being held like this, you felt a warm, wetness graze your shoulder. His lips.

Your insides performed and landed a perfect cartwheel.

His lips were on you.

He kissed your skin softly, lingering just a little, before he moved another inch and pressed another one over your flesh. You wanted to squirm, but you centred yourself, your fingers following the path of his arm that was around you, then tracing circles over the back of his hand. His fingers curved into your belly, and he pulled himself harder into your body.

But it wasn't enough, you began to shudder and twist within his embrace. Each long and short kiss set fire to your skin and every pull on your flesh or press of his body erupted your nerves. You reached back and ran your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck – holding him close. He let out a small sound of appreciation as you did, happy to have your hands holding and wanting him.

You desired him so much. You wanted him so bad. You found him attractive, of course - but wanting him was so much more than that. You weren’t even sure when it had begun, but you knew you wanted him, and that you had wanted him for some time.

“Jungkook…"

“Yes, baby?” he whispered into your neck, a shiver quaking your spine at his use of the pet name. You turned to face him, wishing he had taken his shirt off and that yours was gone too, just so you could press your breasts against his smooth, hard chest. But instead of pursuing that, you rolled him onto his back - swinging a leg over him and straddling his hips. His thighs felt rock-hard under you, and you quivered at the thought of how good and strong they would feel when they fucked you.

You wrapped your fingers around his wrist and guided his hand between your thighs being held wide over his body.

“Touch me,” you whispered.

The tips of his fingers dragged up and down your inner thigh, his touches so soft they felt like feathers. The way he looked at you pulled your stomach into pleasurable knots. His lower lip tucked between his teeth, his eyes hooded - he was controlled, but you could see something feral inside him trying to take over.

"Touch me," you pleaded again. You watched him, praying for a sign in his expression that he was going to give you what you wanted. And then you felt it - a long digit pulling languidly across your warm, wet folds. Your gut immediately reacted, pulling your spine taut to look up to the ceiling as you exhaled.

But the ceiling was now lit by the light of day.

Awake, you stared up at it, confused for a moment until you realised that you were on your back and not straddling Jungkook. Looking to both sides of you, Jungkook was nowhere, nor was there a trace of him. The only other thing in your bed was your cellphone. You must’ve fallen asleep while talking to him.

That must’ve been why you had dreamt about him.

You peeled yourself from the bed and strode over to the vanity. You looked a mess, and your insides felt even messier. Your every fibre was ringing with the energy your dirty dream about Jungkook had brought. But also, there was something else. Dread. A dread because today was the last day of meetings. Dread because today was the day Carter was to meet his fate.

You jumped in the shower, and let the warm water soothe your skin and muscles, but it wasn’t enough to shake you of everything that had happened. But you had a job to do. With that, you pulled yourself together, dried your hair and painted your lips a crimson red, then left.

Go to Chapter 7.

#bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jeongguk smut

123 notes · View notes

blissfulalchemist · 4 years

Note

FULL CLEAR for the top chefs, if you don't mind! 💋

Ah my dear thank you! I love these two! I am leaving numbers out of it cause it’s a Full Clear!

- How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

Well see Cat tries to fall asleep with herself cuddled close to Raf as much as possible but he eventually always ends up on his back and she on her side most of the time. In the winter though she’s stuck on him cause it gets too cold in the night. It’s to hard to have daily rituals when one person sleeps in more than the other, though since he wakes up earlier than her Raf tucks Cat back into bed. - How’s their team work? Do they share well?

They have very great team work! .....when you don’t bring cooking into the mix. Then it’s not so great...However! You put them in a competition as a team and they can work perfectly in sync! If you would like to see examples as to how this may look please click here and here - Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

They are very open about their relationship to a point where it makes people sick to their stomach. Cat can’t help herself by there being PDA but they are under control of it, there is a time and place for everything. There is always an arm being slung over the other or a hand being held. - First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

Cat it may as well have been, she just couldn’t get him out of her head. Though she felt a bit sad for him since he was lamenting on the state of the food and how some ingredients were harder to come by so he could cook. Raf wasn’t ever a love at first sight kind of person, though he could very much tell how nervous she was and how she liked him. But she was nice and helped him out so he was very appreciative of that. Though the nerves and her comment on not making a nickname around her height was exactly how she got her nickname Conejito or Little Bunny in Spanish. - Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

Raf always calls her Conejito or mi amante(but that’s for more private times). Cat has yet to find a single nickname for him, though she opts to try and give him pop culture names, she really tried to get Poe to stick but sadly no one saw what she saw. She settles to call him love most of the time in both english and spanish.

In-jokes: Their first kiss, the debate is still up as to what their first kiss is since Cat had to kiss him on impulse before they ever dated. There is also the running joke of who’s the worse cook between the two of them. Both will give more and more ridiculous reasons as to why the other is the worse on. Raf’s favorite is based on the comment Cat made about channeling her ancestors to get the recipe right, she meant it as a small joke but he never let it go. - Any tasks that are always left to one person?

Cleaning tends to get left on Raf most of the time because she can “never clean right”. She can’t meet his level so she just lets him do it most of the time since he’ll just go back over it anyway if she does. - What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

Cat tends to get annoyed by how bossy Raf can be. It’s not always bad and she acknowledges she can be bossy but sometimes he takes it too far, or it feels that way at times. She also gets annoyed over how closed off he can be with some of his emotions, she’s used to have a partner that was open with her so its a bit of an adjustment.

Raf gets annoyed with how loose she can be about some things despite needing to be in control. It did also annoy him at first when she would spend the whole day sleeping in bed and how she would deflect some questions about her past with him. - What do the like best about their partner?

Cat loves how much like home he feels to her. How he’s so fun and open to the world. The loyalty and sense of family he has. He complements her. His cooking. How sensitive he is to who she is and never once seeing her for who she was before they met.

Raf loves her heart, passion, and how similar they can be. She’s listened to him and never judged him for anything he was. The hope she can have for the world despite how much it hurt her. - Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

They do. They were friends before they started to date and had these conversations before a bit. Talks about death and religion more so. Once they get together these conversations come up more and it’s hard for Cat to really open up on her feelings about marriage and children given her past. She expresses that she wants those things but that’s about it for the longest time. Religion is one the two talk about seriously since Cat isn’t religious like Raf is. It is very important to him and understands it but they come into agreeance in how it will be handled in their futures together. This becomes a major talk since she cannot get married in the catholic church like Raf and his family would like since she never did her confirmation or communion. - Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

Raf’s the safer driver but Cat likes to drive a lot more. Don’t even ask about the cooking with these two. Handiwork falls more to Raf or Wes cause he seems to be around a lot, Cat does try and she knows some tricks. Cleaning goes to Raf again. Bills is an even split, both have the ones it’s their job to keep up on. Handling the public goes to Raf more because he’s just more charismatic than she is and she tends to have more nerves than him. - Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

They celebrate major holidays in big ways! Christmas, Halloween, Valentine’s Day, Easter once they have kids, and Thanksgiving always expect there to be something from them. There are even religious holidays and traditions that are observed in the house and practiced by Raf, Cat will try and join him for what she can, though lent still doesn’t stick for her no matter how much she tries but their menu changes during that time.

- Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

There is a wedding and depending on the universe it can be a small one with just the closest people to them or big! There will be entertainment, dancing, good food, church bells, the whole nine yards! The proposal was weeks of planning and secret talks and dropping Cat off at friend’s houses to keep her occupied while Raf took care of everything he needed. Trying to make the dinner party seem like any other was the hardest part as he wanted her taken completely by surprise. Honeymoon would be either a secluded place in the mountains or by the coast. If they could and had all the money in the world I expect there to be a world tour of cuisine. - What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

As much as they fight about it they both love to cook together. Watching movies and shows is something they both enjoy also. Trivia games and board games in general are a past time for the two of them. They also try new restaurants while going to the theatre for operas, musicals, ballets, etc. Trips to the museums and other places of knowledge and art. - Anything they both dread?

Certain emotional blocks they both have. Neither wants the other to leave but from different perspectives. Raf would fear she’d runaway if things got bad, given that she did in a way and it’s why she ended up in Montana, its not a far fetched idea. Cat worries about him no longer being there and getting that call again. A conjoined fear they have is for Wes though, they both worry so much for his well being and maybe hang around him too much because of this. - How adventurous are they?

Outside the bedroom? They like to try new things now and again. They’re smart about it but like to see what’s new. In the bedroom? They are pretty adventurous. - Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

Neither cheat or outwardly lie in a malicious way. The secrets though, those they do keep from each other for a while. Cat especially, she doesn’t open up about what happened to her first marriage for fear that she would be met with everything she left behind, the looks, whispers, sympathy, misunderstanding of her feelings, being only known as the widow, etc.. She also loved living in this little fantasy world where none of that happened but like all things she had to confront it again and accept the consequences. - What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?

They do break up for a little bit(like 2 weeks max) there because again Cat refuses to open up about her past and well that’s really frustrating. At one point she’s given a slight ultimatum about it. Basically being told that if she chose to walk away from the fight to not come back. This isn’t permanent as there is outside help(See Wes) encouraging forcing her to open up and just accept whatever happens because it would also help her despite him not knowing what it is either. - What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Their dates in canon start off as casual times, mostly at Wes’ place cause it’s easier for Cat to sneak away too(sorry man you gotta be part of this). Them hanging out together starts off with trying to out cook the other and then attempts to bring things like broadway, ballets, and operas to the comfort of home. Cat brings over any nerdy movie and she can find, lots of game nights, especially once she ropes John into finally coming over cause she had Wes and John pegged from the get go(she lives with John how could she not know). Other calmer universes, their dates kind of start extravagant cause Raf does most of the planning of them but when she plans them they are more casual and laid back, going out to the woods, playing video games at the Pizza Bar, and good old movie dates.

- What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

Okay these two look like they are fighting most of the time because of how much it happens in the kitchen, however it never gets super loud and angry. It is also their foreplay a lot of times. Beyond that though when they do fight it is more lecturing and short words but never yelling at the other. They can both be guarded still with certain things but they work on it. There is also make up sex that happens after there is comfort, compromises, plans made to be better and fix the issue, and sorrys passed around. The amount of time this lasts is anywhere from an hour to all night. - What does their home look like? Their room?

There is enough decor to give the lived in feel that Cat loves but it is also very neat and clean. If there are books and magazines on the table you can expect them to be stacked and arranged in a specific way. There is color in almost every room in the house and their room follows suit though expect there to be one room in the house that Cat is allowed to be messier in cause it’s just her space. The kitchen though! That is their pride and joy! The one place that is kept impeccable and Cat actually keeps up with it as much as Raf does. - Do they share any interests or hobbies?

Other than their love of cooking, both are academically inclined people and have a love for the arts, though Cat is more interested in the pop culture arts she has a love and appreciation for Raf’s more refined arts. - Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

Canon a little. This has to do with the fact that Cat is publicly married and a part of Eden’s Gate and Raf well isn’t. Though her specific work at the outreach center helps in making their meetings and getting to know the other easier. It also helps Raf in getting more people a second chance if they want to leave Eden’s Gate since, despite the giant signs(Thanks John) her place is made to be neutral ground. Though they watch how friendly they get at first until Cat finally spills to Wes and John she knew about them for a long time.

Now friendlier universes his work does. Being he has dreams and a plan for a military career there are times at first before they are married that he is far from her. Even after they are and she’s traveling with him, there are times she can’t be with him. When this happens though she stays near their friends back home. It makes it a little hard but much easier with modern technology to keep in touch. - How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

Raf is more of the one to tease Cat for just about everything, all in good fun, but she tries to keep up and does get her way with him every now and again. Cat is big on showing affection when she can, so hugs, kissing on shoulders hands lips cheeks just about anywhere safe in public is something she does a lot. He is okay with this also and lets her and will initiate touch a lot of times too. - Any doubts about the relationship?

Raf took more time to get into it or even play with the idea of them together so there’s little doubts from him really. Cat has doubts stemming from the long and yet short lived previous relationship. She also doubts herself as being good enough for him, and meeting expectations of his family. Despite sharing the same culture the two grew up differently and there are some things she missed out on due to that. - How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

They spend a lot of time together, even if they aren’t doing the same things they are together. In most all universes Cat tends to move in with him first and it kind of just happens, like they look around are just like well hey this happened. They share feelings because this is something big for Cat to have in a relationship but again there are some things the two of them keep back but eventually those things come out and they can work through them. - How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

Their friends are happy for them, and love them together. Cat’s friends form back home are happy that she found someone new even though all are hesitant to accept him, but with that charm of his it doesn’t last long. Raf’s family accepts and loves her even though they do wish she was a little more religious, but she’s got good morals and values. Cat’s family, well that charm isn’t enough and it takes more time. Mostly from the idea that she seemed to just shack up with the first guy to take interest in her. And there’s the notion that he can’t beat her first husband. Her sisters are the most critical with Raf and warm up once they can confirm that he’s not someone taking advantage of their sister. Dad is easier but there are things that Raf has and does in his life that makes it easier to identify and communicate with Raf. - Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

They do have two kids of their own(Great genes you know?) they have a daughter Lizette about a year after they marry and then her little brother Daniel “Danny”(They would have named him Wes but he doesn’t like his full name) about 2.5 years after her. It is up in the air still about adopting another one but one never knows. They do grow old together and have grandkids and live such a full life really. - What are their vacations like?

Depends on what they are going for really. Family vacations are more structured while couple getaways are more laid back. They go international a few times, get a cabin cut off from everyone (See Wes trying to cook pancakes), the coast, or even areas with major museums and theatres. - How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

These two have plans in place for many things and are handled calmly and efficently. Minor injuries can be treated at home most of the time, with both knowing a basic CPR and first aid due to their careers. Sickness well there is a mixture of what doctors say and old family tricks, like almost anything having to do with the throat if its minor can be solved with Lemon honey tea. Both though become very attentive to the other when one is sick and sometimes it looks like too much. - Could they manage a long distance relationship?

I think they could honestly. Both are very loyal people and with technology involved now a days it’s so much easier to keep in contact. It’s also something that is acknowledged throughout their relationship even in canon universe when they talk about life after the whole Eden’s Gate is over. He still has his plan and she doesn’t want to stop him form that.

- Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

Depending on the context Cat tends to get a little over excited and will interject finishing Raf’s sentences, but the main thing she picks up from him is Spanish. She already knew some but becomes more fluent in it as their relationship progresses. I think he would pick up on some phrases or references she says a lot, his imitations of her become really spot on. Cat can figure out if he’s hiding something but never what specifically all the time. He can tell a lot more often and can pinpoint it but some things she’s good at keeping by just redirecting most of the time. - Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?

With each other? Raf does cause he’s the one to more so pull pranks and tease her. Nothing ever to serious all in good fun. She tries but they don’t always work out and sometimes others coughwescough get caught in the crossfire of those ones. With the law? Might be Cat more likely because drunk her couldn’t help but get involved in a fight and Raf was just a little late in stopping her. - What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

See I feel they give presents all the time to each other because they both cook the other’s favorite dishes pretty often, but I also count food as a gift so that may just be a me thing. Material things one can’t consume Cat more so. It’s always little things here and there, like a flower or something he mentioned needing even if it’s boring like shaving cream. I mean their whole first meeting stemmed from her leaving a gift for Raf. When it comes to special occasions she puts more thought and time into gifts, this is where she could plan some event or make sure there’s meaning behind what she gives. It’s a toss up of what she will give. Raf though likes to go extra and so he more so sticks to special occasions and events but don’t think for one second that he doesn’t put a lot of thought into it and care. Everything is well planned and perfection with him. If he does bring home gifts on non special occasions it tends to be junk food she loves or the flowers that would be thrown out, because she likes having someone appreciating their beauty before they’re just tossed out. - Do they have any pets?

“Pleas it’ll be good practice for kids.”

“Wes is practice enough.”

“Okay but hear me out though. Wes is lonely and needs a friend.”

“Fine one dog and that’s it.” *Cat opens to protest*”And don’t try to press your luck with it, Conejito.”

Jokes aside in all reality though maybe one dog and/cat. - Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

They bring out the best in each other. They both find a peace with the other and help the other heal. If they have a fatal flaw it’s the fact they are both pretty bossy. - What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

Their values. They permeate in how they interact with the world and the two of them together can be a force to be reckoned with. Weakness I would put their protective natures. Individually this isn’t bad but together it can be a lot. - How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

For the other’s happiness they would sacrifice almost everything. Cat especially, but she always this idea of what does she have to lose and negative self talk still. There might be a point where Raf would stop, but this could change. See these questions become hard because when it comes down to it how you say your answer is and when it happens can become two different answers. - What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

Bedroom is very active and a lot of being bossed around on Cat’s end. She tries, she really does but what can I say? Raf is bossy af! They dabble in different things and try new kinks and things to see what they like and don’t like. They don’t get bored in that department. Cat will not take anything up the ass, she’s tried it before but it’s just not for her. Now pegging Raf on the other hand is on the table. - Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love?

Raf initiated the relationship because it takes him longer to feel that is something he wants. Cat kissed Raf first, though it is still a debate on what their first kiss was. Realizing they were in love Cat fell hard first and she felt love within a few months of just knowing him, but really feeling that true deep emotional connection with him, that real love, came about a month after she opened up about everything with her first marriage once they dated. Raf fell in love a few months into the romantic relationship and told her as such almost naturally. Cat had said it to him before that but he had to make sure you know. - Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

I’m putting various universes in this because I love them. As embarrassed as Cat is with that drunken kiss it becomes a special memory for the two of them. The dinner party engagement. Their first real date, where their first kiss was in the rain after an opera. When their kids were born. Their wedding, the smaller one they did behind their families backs. Meeting face to face the first time. Just a lot of little things, each have their own list but these are the mutual ones. They always go back to Hope County because that’s where it all began for them. - Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

Cat isn’t one to actively look for parties but is very content with gatherings of her friends. Raf is the more social extroverted one. Though get Cat drunk and she can give him a run for his money, there is a reason why you never get Cat and Wes super drunk in a room together. Raf doesn’t get drunk to affect him but he can start to be a downer when he gets too drunk. They all drink in more social settings, Cat doesn’t drink as much because she’s such a light weight but will go big when she does. - Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Yes. Though there is a limit to this and both of them know where that limit lies. Cat let’s Raf get away with a lot though, gotta love those rose colored glasses. - Do they talk often? What about?

In the beginning they talk a lot about just anything and everything. Sometimes conversations get deep, sometimes they get educational, or they just stay at surface level. As the relationship progresses though both can be content with not talking all the time, just being near each other. After awhile words never need to be said between a couple and by then kids take over the conversation silence. - Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

They are very comfortable with the other and because of this they know when the other needs space or have their privacy. I don’t think there’s anything too specific they always need privacy for. They become that couple that tells the other everything, but when they say they need privacy it’s given. - Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

Having a family, keeping a heart that’s at peace, grow old together. Must there be an end goal really other than to feel love from another person and fulfil the human need to not be alone. Heartbreaks there was one and that was the same reason there was a bit of a break between them. Cat just is so scare about opening up with her past. After a while there is no regrets because life works in weird ways to put people together.

#x: top chefs #These take a while but I love doing them

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seiikas · 7 years

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Hello! I need to catch up on Naruto and I would like to know since you are a fan of Sasuke why do you like his character ? I often think Sasuke is misunderstood by a lot of people, myself I have sometimes a hard time understanding him but I find him interesting ! Hope this question don't bother you, have a good day! :)

Hi! Don’t worry, your question doesn’t bother me at all! My reply is under the readmore. I’m sorry that it got so gigantic! It almost turned into a novel lol. It also may contain mild spoilers so please proceed with caution :)

One of the reasons I like him is because he’s human. Sasuke went through extreme trauma and mental torture at the age of 9, received absolutely no treatment or therapy for it, and was sent to live by himself in the same house his parents were murdered in. He didn’t get any help to deal with his trauma as he grew up. Would a normal human be able to get over such a thing simply because they found friends? to me the fact that Sasuke still suffers and is so affected by his trauma is what makes him realistic. He always needs to rely on a big life goal, put all of his thoughts and efforts into it, whether it’s revenge or justice or redemption, because if he doesn’t have one, it would be just him and his trauma to focus on, and would anyone be able to actually live like that? To me it’s amazing that Sasuke was even able to go on living by himself, to go to school and study and even find emotional attachment to people, protect them and sacrifice himself for them.

In general, most humans aren’t simply good or bad. The majority of us can be kind and generous while still being mean and selfish at times. We can be strong and still have moments of absolute weakness. The majority of us struggle with our mental illnesses and don’t just “get over it”, especially without any help. Sasuke is kind and selfless; he sacrificed himself for Naruto during the Haku fight, was ready to sacrifice himself again to save Naruto and Sakura during the Gaara fight, during the chuunin exams Kabuto pointed out how soft he was because he refused to attack him to get his scroll despite the fact that that’s what the exam required of him, in early shippuden he refused to kill anyone and ordered Taka not to kill, he learned how to extinguish the Amaterasu flames in order to save Karin, he threw himself in front of Sarada to protect her, he gave up on a peaceful life for himself for the sake of protecting their hard-earned world peace. But he also had times when he could be mean and selfish, when the pressure and the sadness were just too much, when he didn’t know how to deal with the trauma and the lies and the shock. And to me that’s a character that I can support, not because I think his mistakes were justified but because he’s not a messiah, he actually has to struggle with himself and his flaws, he has to fight against his trauma and his mental illnesses, which is what most humans are like instead of simply being wise and strong and flawless from the start.

What people fail to understand about Sasuke is that he’s a good person; that’s exactly the reason why his cruelty during the Gokage meeting arc was so shocking to every character in the story, because it was there to show that he wasn’t himself anymore; that’s exactly why the explanation of the “Uchiha curse” exists; and yet for some reason people tend to take that as being Sasuke’s actual personality, despite the fact that the manga had shown him in his normal state before, that we had actually gotten to see his gradual fall into darkness and his reason for it.

I like how Sasuke tends to be silent and distant on the outside but soft and kind on the inside. It’s thanks to him that team 7 gets accepted by Kakashi in the first place, because he decides to feed Naruto even though he was told not to. When he hears that Itachi is in the village, the first thing he worries about is Naruto’s safety, not his own safety or his own goals. He notices when Sakura is feeling down and comforts her by praising her abilities. He rarely ever expresses his feelings in words but he shows them with his actions; by sacrificing himself for someone, by protecting them, by showing pride towards their accomplishments, by gestures like the forehead poke. You’ll rarely find him saying cheesy things but if he cares about you and loves you, you’ll know. On the inside, he loves intensely. (Btw, how cute is it that he feeds cats and makes friends with them during his travels?)

Another thing I like about Sasuke is his extreme love and loyalty towards his family. Maybe it’s because I’ve been raised in a culture where family is always the most important, but I can’t help but appreciate how none of the things he did throughout the series were for himself, but for his family. People think Sasuke is disloyal because he “betrayed” Konoha but the truth is, Sasuke’s loyalty was never with Konoha to begin with, from the start it was always about family, he wanted to be acknowledged by his father, he wanted to join the Uchiha police force. He loved his mother and brother so much, cared about his father’s impression of him, was so proud of his family. And every single thing he wanted to do throughout the series was for them, wanting to avenge them, restore their honor, protect Konoha for Itachi’s sake. The fact that Sasuke and the rest of the Uchiha saw “the Uchiha” and “Konoha” as two separate entities and were only loyal to one of those was a result of Konoha’s own choice to alienate the Uchiha; you can’t treat a group of people like shit and then expect them to somehow love you and be loyal to you.

Sasuke doesn’t fit any generic shounen character type. His character is complex. He starts off as the typical rival but soon his character goes its own way. He has his own goals, his own path in life, his own relationships and his story doesn’t revolve around the main character or catching up to him. In fact it’s the opposite, it’s Naruto whose story mostly revolves around Sasuke. He’s one of the characters who makes this story unpredictable and interesting. Because let’s be real, the plot of Naruto is rather predictable. Naruto meets villain, Naruto has training arc or gets a powerup, Naruto defeats villain, rince and repeat until he becomes Hokage. Even one of the biggest “mysteries” of the series, Tobi’s identity, was predicted by everyone after his very first appearance. Throughout all of this it’s Sasuke who keeps the story interesting, because you’re never really sure what he’s gonna do, how he’s gonna react to things, where he’s gonna end up. That’s the reason why he was/is often the main subject of discussion even among people who don’t like him. Even up until the very end some people were saying he was gonna come back and become anbu, some were saying he would leave with taka, some thought he would die. No one could really guess where he would end up, whereas with other characters things were much more easy to predict.

I like Sasuke because I actually stop to look at things from his point of view as well; I know it’s hard to do so when the narrative always presents things from Naruto and Sakura’s side. It’s easy to just look at the surface and say: Sasuke made Naruto and Sakura sad, therefore he is bad. But when I look at things from Sasuke’s point of view, I understand all of the things he does, and I realize the choices he makes are often the most realistic considering his situation.

Let’s start from the very beginning. A lot of people hate Sasuke because they think he “treated Naruto like shit” throughout part one. But if you actually take the time to read the manga, who was the one who showed contempt towards the other first? It was Naruto. He hates Sasuke because he’s popular and Sakura likes him. This is established from the very beginning. The accidental kiss happened because Naruto tried to provoke Sasuke as a result of his jealousy. Naruto was the one who attacked Sasuke first—tied him up and tried to kiss Sakura while posing as him. And yet only minutes after that Sasuke still chose to defend him against Sakura. Throughout the rest of part one Sasuke and Naruto do bicker and fight a lot, but all of those fights and insults are two-sided and yet for some reason I only ever see people focus on Sasuke’s side.

It’s the same with all of the more serious fights between them. The majority of them were actually started by Naruto. People claim that Sasuke mistreated and/or abused Naruto and Sakura; but the truth is, if Sakura and Naruto hadn’t chased after Sasuke, Sasuke wouldn’t have even met any of them between chapter 180 and 631. That’s the space between when he left Konoha and when he joined the war. That’s more than 450 chapters. Naruto is the one who started the first big Nar/Sas fight. He chased after Sasuke and told him he’d “break his arms and legs and bring him back like a broken stick” if he had to. The fight against team Kakashi in Orochimaru’s lair happened because they chased after him and tried to bring him back. The fight in the Gokage meeting arc happened because Sakura chased after Sasuke and tried to kill him by herself. Sasuke simply left and made it clear to them that he had severed their bonds; they’re the ones who went after him. You can’t be an abuser when you don’t even want a relationship with your so-called victims. Every single time, he was either rejecting them and/or retaliating against their own attacks. Am I saying they shouldn’t have tried to stop him even when he was a criminal? No, but people shouldn’t pretend that Sasuke was specifically going after Sakura and Naruto to hurt or “abuse” them, when they’re the ones who chased after him. He was an enemy of Konoha because the village had murdered his family in cold blood. It’s not about “abuse” or Sakura and Naruto’s feelings.

And it’s easy to only consider their feelings in this situation; oh, they loved him and wanted to save him but he rejected them, he’s such an ass. But the truth is Sasuke doesn’t have to go back to the village that killed off his family, made him miserable and offered him no support as a childjust to make them happy. He doesn’t have to put their feelings before his own. He doesn’t have to put them, teammates that he had been with for a few months at most, over his family that raised him for 9 years. People are allowed to reject relationships they don’t want. Yes, rejection hurts, but it doesn’t automatically make the person who rejected you an asshole.

It’s easy to judge Sasuke for his decisions without paying attention to the circumstances that caused him to make them. “He betrayed his friends and left Konoha”— even though he had just had the shit beaten out of him by his brother, had been mentally tortured for days within a genjutsu, had been told he was weak because he didn’t have enough hate. People just expect a twelve-year-old to deal with it and move on.“He flip-flopped too much”—despite the fact that he had had his entire world turned upside down because he had been told that his whole life was a lie, his abusive brother loved him all along and it was Konoha who had caused his misery. I don’t know how or why people expect someone to just stay strong while being put through all of that.

I have a lot of issues with the series itself and the morals it tries to convey. For example, the series tries to pit “talent” and “hard work” against each other; Kishimoto seems to think that talented people don’t work hard or that they are somehow assholes by default (it’s also hypocritical because later on we find out Naruto himself actually had a lot of natural talents and advantages as well). I see a lot of people make arguments such as “Sasuke had everything handed to him while Naruto worked hard”. They ignore how hard Sasuke worked to learn the fireball jutsu and the Chidori, or how he trained with Orochimaru for three years, they also ignore that Naruto was able to learn the Rasenshuriken with minimal effort because of his naturally high chakra reserves or that almost the entirety of his power as an adult relies on Kurama, something that was given to him at birth. They ignore that everytime Sasuke got a free powerup Naruto got one too.

I also hate how the series tries to portray Sasuke and anyone else who wants reform or justice as a villain. Kishimoto thinks status quo > reform. It doesn’t matter if keeping the status quo means sweeping genocides under the rug, trampling on the rights of smaller villages with less power, ignoring the discrimination happening within clans. As long as “the village” is still standing, everything is okay. Don’t try to fix anything. Accept the “darkness” of the village. I come from a country with a dictatorship, so it’s much easier for me to understand Sasuke who wanted change rather than Konoha and their obsession with keeping everything as is. Yes, Sasuke’s method of fixing things was wrong, but people forget that this boy’s role model was Itachi, the one who thought the best way to protect a little kid was to torture him and tell him to live with hate, and it’s not like anybody actually condemned those actions. Everyone who knew the truth about Itachi thought he was the wisest person in history—the fandom does as well. And yet people are surprised when Sasuke thinks the best way to fix the system is through making people hate him. Only then does the fandom start talking about how “Sasuke should’ve learned from Itachi’s mistakes”, despite the fact that every other time they deny Itachi even made mistakes. The fact that Sasuke is ready to live a life of misery where everyone hates him is proof of how selfless he is, because yes it’s a misguided decision but it’s not a pleasant one, it’s not something he’s doing for himself. In the end instead of finding a better way to fix the system, Naruto just decides to keep the status quo.

Of course I like his design and abilities as well. I mean let’s be real, the duckbutt is almost iconic at this point, lol. Sasuke has the most interesting fighting style, the swordplay combined with the fire and the way he evolved Kakashi’s Chidori into so many different weapons. Not to mention his switcheroo ability after he gets the rinnegan. In my opinion he also gets the most interesting fights as well, Sasuke vs Deidara is still one of my favorites.

Anyways I’m sorry that this post got so long. This is why I never write character analysis, I tend to ramble way too much lol. Hope you have a nice day and thanks for the ask!

#sasuke uchiha #pro sasuke #yaemia #naruto /#ask

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nowandgenpad · 5 years

Conversation

Texting || Gened

Gen: Are you busy?

Jared: Not right this second. What's up?

Gen: I was wondering if you, me and Chris could sit down and talk face to face about the schedule

Jared: Gen, I am not talking to your new husband about MY kids. He doesn't get a say. What happens with them is between you and me.

Gen: I allowed Lucy to have a say in things.

Gen: I always have done my best to include our children in the lives of their step and half sister and all I'm asking is that you have the same courtesy

Jared: That never once included moving halfway around the world for 4 fucking months a year!

Gen: But if you had I would have worked with you to find a schedule that works for everyone so you could have them wherever you were going. You're being stubborn. They wont be there the full 4 months. That's why I think we need to sit down as adults and deal with everything. Chris is part of our lives now, we should be a team.

Jared: I would never even consider moving them that far away from you. EVER! No, Chris is part of YOUR life, not mine! I will NOT have him included in ANY decision about my kids! Out of respect for you, I never once forced you to include Lucy, and I don't force you to include Katie.

Gen: Lucy was your wife, she became our children's step mother and I expected them to treat her with the same respect as they do me. I would have continued to treat Lucy as part of the team because when the kids were with you guys she was acting as their mother. If you and Katie got married I'd do the same thing. Nobody is trying to replace you or take your kids away from you. All I'm asking is to change the schedule around. Maybe you take them for 2 whole months while I'm in Australia and then they can spend 2 whole months with me there. I'm trying to find a compromise.

Gen: Why do you hate Chris so much?

WED 4:29 PM

Jared: And I never once tried to change our arrangement with the kids just to make Lucy's life easier. You want to take them to Australia for a week or two when they are on break? Fine, I'll agree to that. But I will not agree to you moving them around the world every 3-4 months just because of HIM.

Jared: I don't have to explain myself to you.

Gen: It's not because of Chris. I WANT to experience new places. I want my children to get to know their new family. Chris and I are planning on having kids, I dont want Tom, Shep, or Odette feeling left out because they can't be with all of us.

Gen: I thought you had more respect for me than what you show. I don't know who you are anymore.

Jared: Since when? You refused to come to Vancouver with me because you didn't want to be that far away from Texas, but you're willing to go to LA and Australia just because Chris asks you to? That's bullshit!

Jared: Respect? Like you running off and getting married to someone you've known five minutes shows me respect?

Gen: He didnt ask me to. I wanted to. Well, now being in Texas reminds me of a life I don't have anymore. I put roots in Austin so you could be around your family. I'm from California, I'll always want to be in LA and since I moved to Austin for you I dont see a difference with spending a few months in Australia for him. It's not like I'm moving permanently and giving up Austin.

Gen: Again, from the time you started dating Lucy to when you married her you were only together 4 months. Why are you making such a big deal? You're the one who ended our marriage and got remarried already. I'm finally happy again why cant you be happy for me? It's like you want me sitting here pining for you and taking care of the kids exactly how you want. When did you become so controlling? I'm allowed to move on with my life.

Jared: do whatever the fuck you want Gen. You always do. But for the record, I consulted you every fucking step of the way with Lucy. You're the one who convinced me to make it official, and assured me it wasn't too early to get engaged. So don't fucking get pissed at me now because you didn't open your fucking mouth back then. I'm happy you're happy. What I don't like is trying to take my kids and replace me as their dad. And don't try to tell me you're not doing that. That's exactly what you're fucking doing. I barely get time with them now and here you are, wanting to ensure I get even less time. That's crap and I will NEVER agree to it!

Gen: Exactly, I assured you it wasn't too early so I don't understand why you're getting upset that Chris and I got married when we did. We didn't tell anyone we were getting married. It was a spur of the moment decision to go elope. He didn't even tell his ex wife. The only person who knew was Danneel because it was her idea. I always do what I want? Really? I'm sorry, where do you get that? From the moment we got serious everything I've done was to please you and then when we had the kids I've done what I'm supposed to and put them first. Everything I do is for them. This is the first time since we got together that I'm trying to do something for me and you're making me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I'm NOT trying to give you less time or take them away from you or replace you and that's exactly the reason why I want to sit down and figure out a better schedule and get you MORE time.

WED 11:46 PM

Jared: Text read

THU 11:26 AM

Gen: I'm giving you an opportunity to work with me as rational adults. We've always been civil and fair with each other and I'm not looking to change that but if you're not willing to sit down with us and figure out a schedule that works for everyone involved I'll have no choice but to have the lawyers do it and make it a court order and I dont want to do that. I want us to be able to do this ourselves.

Jared: I’ll sit down with you. But if he shows up, I’m out of there.

Gen: Please tell me what your problem with him is? I'd really love to understand

Jared: I don’t have to tell you what my problem with him is.

Gen: Yes you do. He's our children's step father.

Jared: I don’t care. He is not their father, I AM!

Gen: I NEVER SAID HE WAS THEIR FATHER! NOBODY IS TRYING TO REPLACE YOU!

Gen: Lucy was a bonus mom, Chris is a bonus dad, I dont know why its okay for you to move on and remarry and move someone else into your house after you get divorced but it's a problem that I remarried.

Jared: YES YOU ARE!

Jared: I never said it was a problem. I said I don’t want him involved in decisions about the kids and I don’t want them being moved around from place to place all fucking year. There is a difference.

Gen: How do you figure?

Gen: He's my husband, he and I have to make decisions for OUR family's best interest while making sure you and Elsa still get your time with the kids too. She doesnt have a problem with her kids coming to live in America sometimes. You're being stubborn

Jared: Shep doesn’t even want to talk to me anymore when I call. He’s too busy with his new daddy.

Jared: MY kids are NOT his family! He does not get a say in how they are raised! Good for Elsa. I’m not her and I am NOT okay with my kids being moved around the world just to please your new husband.

Gen: That's not true at all! Shep loves you! Chris is here less than you are. And you just had the boys to yourself and they both keep talking about how much fun they had with you at the convention.

Gen: Legally they are. Legally he is their step father. Its not to please him it's to please me

Jared: It IS true! Shep didn’t even want to be at the convention. He spent the whole time watching those stupid Thor movies telling everyone that Thor is his new daddy!

Jared: You’re only doing this to make him happy. You finally get laid and suddenly you’re willing to uproot everything just to please him. Who are you?

Gen: Then why does he keep talking about how much fun he had with you?

Gen: I'm happy and in love and trying to move on with my life. If you wanted me to stay put in one place where you could control me you shouldn't have left me

Gen: Shep is still young and before Chris came into the picture he was already starting to go through a superhero phase. He's excited to get to be around "thor" its not even Chris he likes it's the character he plays. You're being jealous and insecure and you have no reason to be. You're his father and that's a bond that will never be broken.

Jared: I’m sure that’s Tom and not Shep who is saying that. Nice try.

Jared: You always said that no matter what, you weren’t going to uproot the kids. You wanted them to have a stable and solid life in one place. It’s why you wouldn’t come to Vancouver with me even when they were babies. But now that they are in school you suddenly want to disrupt their entire lives? That’s crap Gen!

Jared: [read]

Gen: IT'S KILLING ME TO BE IN AUSTIN TO BE IN THIS HOUSE! why can't you understand that? This has NOTHING to do with Chris. I NEED to get out of this environment, I'm not happy.

Jared: Then buy a new fucking house!

Gen: I dont want to be in Austin anymore Jared. This was supposed to be the place you and I made a life and then you tossed me aside. I tried to keep going, for the sake of the kids, but i can't do it anymore.

Jared: You wanted to be in Austin. When we were deciding between LA and Austin, you chose Austin because the kids would have a more normal childhood than the one you had growing up in LA.

Jared: You want to move back to LA? Fine! But your not taking them to fucking Australia!

Gen: I am for 2 months. You can have them the other 2

Jared: No you are not!

Gen: Yes I am.

Jared: Over my dead body are you taking my kids to another country for 2 fucking months!

Gen: my children are NOT going to feel left out because their father has a complex.

Gen: Youd be having them in Vancouver, that's another country. Should I throw a fit and say you can only have them on American soil?

Jared: Go fuck yourself Gen! I will NOT let you take my kids from me!

Jared: I don’t ever have them in Vancouver unless you choose to bring them here. I always go to Austin to be with them.

Jared: If its MY time with them YOU arent losing your kids.

Gen: And now I'm saying you can. I'm trying to make everything easier for everyone. I'm trying to give you MORE time

Jared: Bullshit! You know damn well I won’t take them away from school so you’re trying to screw me out of what little time I do get to spend with them.

Gen: I'd like to homeschool them

Jared: No way! I want them to have a normal childhood with normal kids.

Gen: Tom hates going to school, he's having a hard time making friends this year. I'm tired of seeing him cry every day when he gets home. If they're homeschooled it wont matter where they are because they can do their school work whenever and wherever and do extracurricular activities in the community

Jared: He told me he loves school. You’re not homeschooling them Gen. They will grow up as normal kids going to an actual school. You know homeschooled kids have a higher rate of dropping out of college because they don’t know how to really be in a classroom environment. I won’t put that on them.

Gen: Tom wants to please you. You're his idol. He wants to live with you full time actually.

Jared: Since when does he want to live with me full time?

Gen: since earlier this year...the beginning of the summer maybe

Jared: Since you started seeing muscles for brains?

Gen: I was seeing Chris way before he started talking about it. He feels like he doesnt see you enough and it's hard on him. That's why I'm trying to figure out how to get you more time not take time away. Chris is a very intelligent man, dont do that. You're muscular too.

Gen: I think Tom saw how much time Chris spends with his three kids and it made Tom a little jealous

Jared: Hmmm...so you start seeing douche bag and suddenly Tom wants to come live with me full time so he doesn’t have to be around him? Makes me wonder what happened.

Jared: That’s crap. Tom and so talk every single day.

Gen: You're hearing what you want to hear and it's getting annoying.

Jared: No I’m not. Why else would he suddenly want to live with me full time?

Gen: I just told you. Chris is constantly taking India, Sasha, and Tristan around the world with him. They go on location with him and when it's his time with them wherever he is they are too. Tom wants more physical time with you. He wants to travel with you and be where you are. You're his best friend. He misses you.

Jared: His kids must not be in school then. I wanted to bring the kids when they were younger. You wouldn’t let me.

Gen: India is homeschooled

Jared: Well Tom is going to be a normal child.

Gen: Even if he's the one asking not to go to school anymore?

Jared: You ask any kid if they would rather go to school or stay home every day, they will always ask to stay home.

Gen: Jared, he's miserable. Will you at least talk to him and find out how HE really feels?

Jared: Of course I will. If he’s that miserable then maybe it’s time for a meeting with the damn school.

Gen: Its not the schools fault hes not making friends

Jared: He’s making friends Gen. He was telling me just the other day about his friend Matt in his class.

Gen: He cries to me every day I'm not making that up

Jared: Maybe he’s just trying to get some of YOUR attention

Gen: He has a lot of my attention

Jared: Does he? Or are you too busy with your new husband to notice what’s really going on with him?

Gen: Chris is hardly here Jared. His been filming in India since a few days after we got married. I'm alone most of the time.

Jared: And I bet you’re constantly on your phone or the computer trying to talk to him. Am I right?

Gen: No. I'm working when hes at school and taking care of Odette and shep when he gets home from preschool and then I'm doing activities with the kids until we all cook dinner. Most of the time I dont even talk to Chris until the kids are sleeping

Jared: If you say so

Gen: I have a theory that you're so pissed off and bitter that things with Lucy didnt work out that you're trying to make everyone else as miserable as you are

Jared: You’re insane

Gen: No I'm not and thats mean to say.

Jared: If you think for one minute that I’m trying to make you miserable, then you’re insane. You know me better than that.

Gen: That's how it's coming off to me. I did everything I could to support you and Lucy and it hurts you cant do the same for me and Chris. It's not like I'm the one who married someone with a drug problem

Jared: Screw you Gen!

Gen: Could you please act like a grown up instead of telling me to go fuck myself or screw myself? That's not very productive.

Jared: Fine. I’ll just ignore you then. You’re pissing me off and I no longer wish to have this conversation with you.

Gen: What are we doing about Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Jared: What we always do

Gen: Things are different this year. Chris and his kids will be here for Thanksgiving and then we're planning on doing Christmas in Australia. I asked you the other day if you wanted them for Thanksgiving so I could take them for Christmas

Jared:You’re not taking my kids away from me for Christmas. We always each take them for half a day on those holidays. I’m not changing that. Not this year.

Gen: you're so fucking stubborn

Jared: You used to love that about me

Gen: I used to love a lot of things about you but then you broke my heart and I got over you.

Jared: Good for you

Gen: all you're doing is preventing them from being able to get to know their new family

Jared: And all you’re doing is trying to keep them away from the family they know and love.

Gen: no I'm not

Jared: Yes you are

Gen: No I'm not. I'm sure Lucy's family wanted to spend time with the kids when you two were together, how is this any different?

Jared: Lucy’s mom would come to us.

Gen: and you never took them to Tennessee?

Jared: No. I never took the boys to Tennessee

Gen: well you could have. I don't care about stuff like that. The more people who want to love my children the better.

Jared: Taking them would have been taking them away from you and I won’t do that

Gen: Not if you did it during your time. That's the problem that I'm having. If it's your time with them you can do whatever you want with them, take them wherever you want, I'm allowed the same when they're with me. If it's not interfering with each others times i dont see what the problem is

Jared: I only have them for a fucking weekend here or there. You have them all the time and I’m not okay with you just doing whatever the hell you want with them. They’re my god damn kids too!

Gen: IM TRYING TO GIVE YOU MORE TIME WITH THEM thats why this whole conversation has been about. I WANT you to have them more than a weekend here or there thats why I'm trying to change things around but you're being stubborn.

Jared: No you’re not! You’re trying to take them away and move to Australia!

Gen: Omg I'm trying to give you MONTHS at a time with them

Jared: Two months on Ten months off will not work for me! That’s not giving me more time!

Gen: I'm trying to do 6 and 6

Gen: Just not consecutive

Jared: Sure you are

Gen: I am. We have 50/50 custody Jared I'm trying to live where I want to during my 50%

Jared: I won’t agree to you moving them around all the time. Like I said, if you want to be in LA that’s fine. But I want them in 1 spot for the school year. I won’t have you disrupting their lives to follow meat head around.

THU 7:17 PM

Jared: Then allow me to take them to Australia during the summer, even for one month. I'm trying to find a compromise here Jared. Please. Stop insulting my husband. You're acting like a child.

Jared: Summer is the only time I get to see them every day, even if it's just for a few hours. Why would I let you take that away from me?

Gen: You're so fucking ridiculous. I'm contacting my lawyer in the morning. We'll have the court figure it out

Jared: Fine.

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