#have been dealing with mental health systems since i was 9 and all it has done is make me absolutely despise it all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strqyr · 1 year

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I seriously have to ask. Why on earth are you so determined to push the idea that somehow the ENTIRE HUNTER SYSTEM is toxic and painful and it needs to be thrown in the bin. When not only is Ruby's circumstances far more unique than those your typical hunter would typically face. But we have the vast majority of the main cast affirm that yes, they ARE Hunters, in an epic scene of awesome character development?

I get that Ruby is not in an okay place at the moment. She has trauma from Beacon and Altas that is not fully addressed. And her teammates have not reached out to support her in Volume 9 until her outburst (partly due to bad timing. Because holy shit did her backing away from Crescent Rose send alarms ringing in everyone's heads). But blaming the entire Hunter system as toxic and needing to be removed feels very, 'throwing out the baby with the bathwater', you know?

the system currently in place is a post-war concept. it is, at most, 80 years old. we know the world managed to do just fine without it, as before the war kingdoms were expanding and finding new grounds to settle. as a systemic group huntsmen and huntresses aren't needed: the main reason for the academies to exist is to defend the relics hidden in vaults within them, putting a huge target on them that the students meant to defend them don't even know about. same students who usually start training to kill monsters (and potentially other people as well, since that can be part of the job) at the age of 13. that's a child.

we're talking about a system that is basically churning out child soldiers. there's no reason why they need to graduate at the age of 21 instead of starting to train at that age.

we're talking about a system that has no way to actually keep track of all of huntsmen and huntresses to ensure that they aren't abusing their power. these are people who have trained in combat, who have unlocked their aura for extra protection, who can have special powers in form of semblances. these are people who have the power to arrest others. the power imbalance between a regular citizen and a huntsman is absurd. they are super-powered mercenaries who are also cops and if the one you've trusted your life with decides being a decent person doesn't pay enough or doesn't bring them enough joy anymore or whatever, there's not much a regular citizen can do against them alone.

and we have seen them abuse their power already. this is not a what if? this is a holy shit this is already happening. raven has been the bandit queen of anima for almost 20 years, people are terrified of her, and qrow only cared to amass a group to go deal with the tribe when he found out the spring maiden is there. how is this not a problem?

my point is nothing in the show is actually selling me the idea that the huntsmen system is necessary. just because there are few good eggs doesn't mean the rest isn't rotten, that there aren't issues that need to be fixed.

there will always be heroes, people willing to defend those who need help. but they don't need to have a title of a huntsman or a huntress to do so—clearly, since humanity was doing just fine before the war without the academies. and a town or a family should not be required to have enough money to pay for someone to protect them or else trust a goodwill of a stranger to care about them enough to help without a payment (especially when there's a lot of 'looking the other way, this doesn't concern me' going on).

the system isn't bad just because someone came out of it mental health problems—tho obviously that's bad too and should be reason enough to investigate what went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future—it's bad because from the viewpoint of a Regular Joe who needs a huntsman now, you either have enough money to hire a huntsman—and then hope the one you get not only arrives in time but is also actually a decent person—or you're fucked.

#rwby #rwby9 #rwby spoilers #stormmodblog #ask.strqyr #i mean i could go on and on #but that's the gist of it

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presleyannn · 8 months

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hi :) - 9.19.23

Hello, my name is Presley. I am 20 years old, and I am currently in my first semester of law school.

I am also extremely mentally ill. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression in the 9th grade, having dealt with suicidal ideation since the 5th grade. I am a suicide attempt survivor, and I have been on mood stabilizers ever since. I was also diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago.

Due to my mental health issues, life hasn't been particularly easy for me, especially when it comes to basic life skills like time management and the ability to accomplish basic tasks.

I finished at the top of my class in high school and kept a high gpa in undergrad simply because I am smart, not because I applied myself and worked super hard. I am a terrible procrastinator. My brain can only start working on something if there is an impending deadline, and even then I still struggle to do it.

As you might have already inferred, those habits don't fly in law school. In law school, you have one exam at the end of the semester worth 100% of your grade, built on ALL the material you learned throughout the semester (and you learn A LOT of material in law school). There is no way to cram right before your exam. You must manage your time wisely throughout the semester to stay on top of your work and ensure you have a good handling on the material before you move on.

I am currently struggling to do just that. I am six weeks in, and I am massively behind. Executive dysfunction is very real and it is crippling. I struggle with simply starting a task, and finishing it is a completely different beast.

My brain loves to hyperfixate on things, and 9/10 it is not the thing I need to be focused on. As a result, I will have a laundry list of things I need to do, but find myself unable to do them because I am only focused on that one thing.

However, my brain also says that I must get everything on my to-do list done before I can call it a night. Therefore, I will lose sleep and STILL not get anything done. I was recently awake for almost 48 hours because I told myself that I couldn't sleep until I checked off everything on my to-do list. By the time I finally gave in to exhaustion, I had yet to do anything on it.

It is also extremely difficult for me currently to perform even basic life functions. I've already missed several classes because I simply couldn't find the energy to get out of bed. When I do, I feel like I've run a marathon before I even walk out the door just from waking up and getting dressed. By the time I get out of class, all my energy has disappeared. It takes everything in me just to feed myself at least once a day (and I usually love to eat). When it comes time for me to do work, I am absolutely drained, and my work seems so overwhelming and unapproachable.

All of these things have caused me to be extremely behind on school work, and that is a difficult thing to sit with. Especially when you need to do well because you still have to graduate undergrad, and you have scholarships you need to keep.

It also doesn't help when everyone else around you seems to be well prepared and fighting for the top spot. It makes you begin to wonder if you're even cut out for it, even though this is something you want more than anything else in your life.

Please don't worry about me though. This isn't my first rodeo. I've been dealing with these issues for the past 8 years, it's just that the stakes are much higher right now. I am in therapy, I am taking my medicine, and I have a wonderful support system of family and friends. After everything I've been through, I believe in myself enough to say that I will make it out on the other side, and I will finish this semester strong. I'm just going through a rough patch :)

I am simply here because I would be writing these things down in my personal, private journal anyway, but I want to share them in hopes that they reach someone who needs them. I've made it my mission since I was finally diagnosed in the 9th grade to help break the stigma around mental illness and mental health issues. I want people like me to know that they are not alone in this, because I want to know the same. I also want them to know that feeling these feelings is nothing to be ashamed of and that it's okay to ask for help, because I would be six feet under right now if I had never realized that and gotten the help that I needed.

If you're going through some tough times, just know that I'm sending so much love your way and that I believe in you. You're doing awesome with the hand you were dealt! <3

Me:

Also me but from today:

#mental health #mental illness #law school #law student #wellbeing #self care #journal entry #blog #adhd brain #anime #fanfic #hyperfixation #brainrot #mental health matters

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pxiedustnblades · 1 year

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*knocks on the door quietly, and then peek inside, bringing cookies and chocolate*

Hi Faye! :D How are you doing? I saw your requests for ask and questions, so, here I am bringing them to you! :D

1,2,3,6,9,13,20,27 and 28! :D I know they are a lot, so feel free to answer only the one you feel the most! No need to answer them all, if they make you feel overwhelmed. :)

--Nemo

Nemo!!

Oh my goodness thank you so much for the chocolate & cookies! Always a treat to hear from you. And always more then happy to oblige with answering those asks. While there are a lot, I am eager to answer them all. I am up to the challenge. Here, have some coffee for while you read.

1) Who was your first ever OC? Do you still "use" them? How have they evolved over time?

Aww this is a treat! My first ever OC was a HC’d lovechild between Kisshu and Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew. Her name was Claire Momomiya and I adored her like nothing else. Even so far as to making a silly little comic book with a school friend. The writing was atrocious and very cliche middle schooler wattpad weeb. 🤣 So you know, grossly cringe. Ugh since then Claire is still used be she is completely separate from her original counterpart. She now goes by Clara and has matured a great deal. Although I don’t use her anymore, she is still such a memorable and precious OC that she will never be discarded. I will find something for her one day.

2) Who is your newest OC Why did you make them?

Yvette is my newest oc! I made her shortly after I started playing God of War and saw Tyr’s design. After hearing what a gentle giant he was, and then seeing him in Ragnarok, I couldn’t help but be smitten. That and comparing my own height to his. 😳 He’s such a sweet, wise soul whats not to love though? Even if he is a bit of awkward giraffe lolol. Between that and general simping gutter brain, I wanted to give him someone to love and be loved by. But not by me lmao. No self insert here. But uhh my gutter brain was strong with this one because size difference make brain go brrr. And somehow these became the horniest, most mature, yet sweet canon x oc ship I have to date. Whoops?

3) Biggest self-insert OC?

OOH! That would be my sweet pea, Faline! Closest tie with her would be Florence. Although both are actual self inserts. Faline has been my longest standing Self-insert (going on 2 years soon) and one that holds most of my similarities. Including my height, build, my autism, my not-so-great childhood, trauma, and mental health. Genuinely v little difference between her and I.

6) Do you have any OCs without stories? Will you ever create one for them?

I mentioned it before but Clara is currently the one without a story. Although I’m not quite sure if you’re talking actual physical written & completed story or just a general background. I’m assuming the latter, but please correct me if I’m wrong. I will eventually give Clara a proper story, but for now she is content seeing me bond with my other OCs.

9) Favourite OC?

Oh my Gods, Nemo; how can you ask me such a thing? 🤣Just kidding I can actually answer this. My beloved Claudia is my favorite. She was such a treat to create. To go from a minor character made to push a plot point, to then being one of my biggest muses, she is a gem and a half. She is as complex as she is beautiful, and I look forward to continue creating stories for her and Darius.

13) Which story has the most lore?

Oh Gods “Saints & Sinners” by far. Ash and I have spent almost two years developing that universe. It initially started off as a silly “what-if” thing but now we have a whole world, timeline, rules, deities for every basic thing, A deity hierarchy system, Soul-bondings, rules for said deities, the reset system, etc. it used to only focus on four characters, now its expanded to following 8. 4 couples, all soul-bonded deities. It’s an incredible experience.

20) What story are you the proudest of? Why?

Hmmm probably “burn scars” as of right now. Its still in the works but its pushing me out of my comfort zone to deal with more graphic, emotion-heavy scenes. Trying to capture something like that is not easy, but considering it’s such a crucial part in Darius & Claudia’s timeline I am determined to get it right.

What are your favourite movies?

I’m not much of a movie person in general but the ones that have higher chances of holding my attention are animated films. I’m the worst when it comes to watching films. Its like pulling teeth to get me to do.

Thank you again for asking me everything Nemo! I hope you enjoyed!

- Faye

#ask game #faye answers

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ladyimaginarium · 11 months

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check-in tag!

1. why did you choose your url? — idr tbh. all i& remember is that. imaginarium& is our& innerworld's name.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and tell why you have them. — @imaginariumrpc my& rpc sideblog for stuff i want to reblog but not on my main, currently a mess & in the state of archiving & transferring posts onto this blog considering this blog is the one i& mainly use & its multipurpose. — @dominusornatum my& rp blog that hasnt been used but may revamp. — @brumoustoska Erica's& sideblog. May or may not add a nsft blog but idk yet.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? — uhhhh since 2016 i& think.

4. do you have a queue tag? — no but im& debating lmao

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? — this used to be a rp blog actually but i& repurposed it into a multipurpose blog bc. i& left the tumblr rpc for several reasons especially bc i& was dealing w/ my& system that i'd& recently discovered at the time & just. mental health issues.

6. why did you choose your icon? — bc khadija& is one of my& ocs & she's& cute.

7. why did you choose your header? — i love stars. like, i'm& obsessed.

8. what’s your post with the most notes? — one of my& old twdg edits iirc.

9. how many mutuals do you have? — many lmao but s/o to a, simy, emma, hal & leli.

10. how many followers do you have? — over 100.

11. how many people do you follow? — over 400.

12. have you ever made a shitpost? — aren't all my posts shitposts /j so many times.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? — a lot, i& don't keep track tho bc thats lame.

14. have you had a fight/argument with another blog? who won? — i&. don't like arguments or conflict or any kinda disk horse especially when it comes to fandom & shipping disk horse bc tbh i& have more important things in my& life to focus on & a lot of this is like chronically online shit, so i& avoid them the best i& can within reason. so. no.

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? — usually i'm& happy to wave them goodbye as i& scroll past them bc of ocd hell, but when it comes to indigeneity or queer issues or anything of the sort its my& duty so.

16. do you like tag games? — yes !! please continue tag me& or any of us&!! ♡

17. do you like ask games? — yessss!!

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? — tbh they all should be but uh. i& think audit especially in the plural & queer & disabled communities. hal bc they're so iconic in the plural community as a whole & they do so much for systems its great tbh. also emma bc she's a forever icon in the twdg fandom & abri ( idk what ur actual name is so lmao ) in the gangsta fandom bc uh. they're iconic asf. & although we're not moots persay bc marzi has a rp blog, but marzi's portrayal of mitch & just everything twdg related on @phantasmagcrical / @gciltyascharged has me& go like AGLJAGGALJGALGAJGAJLAGLJAGJL hennywayz ily marziiiii ♡

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? — no? /lh but i& appreciate all of my moots. ♡

20. tags? — @briala @dethqveen @aabblleeddnntt @abri-chan @tearfulangel @emmiewlw @dreamlandsystem & anyone else if you wanna do it !!

#dash games.#badaboom

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ahiddenpath · 2 years

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Life Talk

Hi babes, so this life update is a downer, which is why I’ve been sitting on it for a while- I didn’t wanna rain on digi celebrations. Before I go on, though: I am more or less fine.

Content warnings: discussion of dementia/hospitalization/nonspecific abuse/crappy American healthcare system/mental health stuff/all around bad sad times.

So I know I tend to be upfront with these life posts, but... I feel like I can’t be for this one. I’m going to be a bit vague.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that my father is abusive, and I went no contact with him at the earliest opportunity for my safety/mental health. He’s been having health emergencies since I was a kid, and he never does what the doctors recommend after the hospitalizations. I’ve been telling my mother for years that the hospitalizations will only become more frequent and dire as he ages, both because he is aging, and because the past problems will compound.

Well, he had a dementia episode- my mother called it in, and emergency responders sent several professionals to intercede. Again, it’s not really my story, so I won’t get into details, but it was frightening. He’s been in the hospital for a bit, and they want to release him to my mother’s home- but they say he needs 24/7 care.

In order for my mother to provide 24/7 care, she would have to never leave the house- ie, she can’t work or shop for groceries or go... anywhere. And, again, the last dementia episode was frightening enough that they sent several people to help (and I’ve been afraid/tense around him my whole life, regardless). Unfortunately, the healthcare system in my country is unequipped to deal with the sheer number of people who need this kind of care (and lack the funds to afford it). I asked around, and folks said that they had to report about 6-9 instances of “dementia patient does something extreme enough that their caretaker has to call emergency services for help” before the patient was admitted to a care facility.

In past similar situations, my therapist said that I need to hold onto my boundaries and refrain from emotionally responding/sympathizing to the point where my life and health are impacted. This, of course, is no easy thing. Anyone would worry about their parents- that’s true for me, too, even with the childhood I had. But, she would say, I need to remember that they have been adults for over 50 years, and they are in charge of themselves.

The trouble is that I was raised to be emotionally available and helpful to my parents. Girls are commonly treated as the family caretakers in my country, even without the abusive stuff going on, but the “you exist to fulfill our expectations” vibe is common in abusive situations. These health emergencies and the ensuing chaos tend to drag up so many awful memories, learned behaviors, and resentments. I’m strongly considering contacting my therapist for a few check up appointments to address this.

There’s a lot going on in my life, too- disruptive work on my house and the company I work for running out of funding. The mental/spiritual toll is becoming physical, which is a clear sign that I need to take some kind of action. I guess that’s a few therapy sessions???? IDK??? I’m still figuring the action part out.

I went back and forth on bringing this up at all- like, isn’t it just a pile of downerness? But... Well, I can tell that I’ve been vulnerable/emotional/distracted/just not my normal self in all areas of my life, including with you guys on DM and in the camp digimonth discord. So, if my behavior has come off as a little off or just overwhelmed... I’m not saying you owe me a pass, but I am saying that I wasn’t, like, upset with you. It was definitely me and my questionable emotional state x_x

Again, I’m trying to take care of myself now- but I’m also really struggling to figure out what that looks like, or how I can fit that into the crevices between work and basic stuff like... You know, eating and sleeping.

I’m wishing all of you the very best of everything, as always. Take care!

#hidden's life

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scaryarcade · 1 year

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Hopefully this is okay to disscuss this kind of thing here. But in my own (and still on going) discovery of my plurarity ive found myself in a weird spot in DID/OSDD community where i relate to the some or most experiences of being a system but still feel like the way symptoms i DO experience is "wrong".

One of the examples i could give is criteria for DID/OSDD being "having repeated trauma before 6-9 years of age". But the only traumatic major event i can recall that started to affect me was at 11 years old. Before that age i almost zero memory from that period (which is terrifying on its own tbh). And from 11-13 i started devolping BPD and was probably the beggining of fragmatation of my identity/personality. My own dissociative spectrum feels more on then "just BPD dissociation when in stress" but still less severe in what you see in pwDID who have seperete identities. Though, lurking through your blog (im normal trust me /j) and knowing about "median system" did resionate with me a lot. I still feel like a huge imposter because i "dont have the worst trauma ever and have total seperate identities that make living hell", i for sure am disordered plural/system but i feel guilt when being plural doesnt completely ruin my life like it does with a lot of pwDID/OSDD. I am aware i probably have it better in this aspect of mental health in this community but i want to hear and knlw more about atypical/nonstereotyped way of living with DID/OSDD. And your blog gave me that comfort/closure i looked for so long lol. So honestly thank you for creating this little blog i appreciate you adding unique experience/opinions to the community a lot!!!!

I hope my ask is understandable and sorry for any errors i might have put here 😭😭

(Also im fucking losing it over the coincidence of sharing the same name/pronouns/age-range/interest ☠️☠️)

hi!! thank you for the ask + hell yes name twins!!! LMAO

i really appreciate you taking the time 2 share ur experience. there are a few things that came to mind while i was reading ur ask. this is not meant to imply you need to change how you view yourself/selves, but since you mentioned feeling like the way you experience symptoms is "wrong", you may find these things useful to know if you didn't already:

you do not have to recall trauma before the ages of 6-9 to be diagnosed with DID or OSDD! actually, you don't have to recall any trauma at all to receive a diagnosis.

anecdotally, there are a lot of people with DID who do not experience clear, rigid separation between parts/alters

also anecdotally, a ton of trauma survivors (especially those with complex and/or developmental trauma) struggle with imposter syndrome and feeling like they have it better than others.

i frequently feel guilty like i'm invading spaces/taking up resources/just generally don't belong in places for trauma survivors because "other people have it so much worse". this is a pretty normal way to feel, but it fucking sucks, so i'm really sorry you're dealing with what sounds like a similar feeling. i think this is what happens when we have been forced to spend a lot of time rationalizing the bad things that happen to us. mentally, we have to normalize and minimize our own trauma in order to endure it. so it's a lot easier to look at someone else's experience and go "wow that's horrible and traumatic!" than it is to do that with our own.

happy 2 hear that median terminology resonates with you!! it definitely was immensely comforting for me when i found a term that encapsulates the often REALLY confusing experience of, like. "we're separate people we're the same we're different from each other yes we are no we're not <3".

i'm rly glad to hear my blog has been a useful resource for u. i hope you know there is no threshold of suffering that you have to meet in order to deserve resources, support, and community. you belong here!

#abyssposting #asks #others experiences

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myownjadedpieceofmind · 2 years

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Let's catch up, shall we?

So... sometime Tuesday I came down with a migraine from hell. I attributed it to looking up at the fireworks the night before and working front desk that morning. Well, Wednesday that migraine progressed into a full body flare of every symptom I have. My skin broke out in hives, I couldn't hold down any food or water, every single inch of my skin hurt and my joints literally burned.

I spent all day Wednesday in the hospital due to a kidney infection that put my autoimmune system into hypersensitive setting. I got iv fluids and antibiotics and figured I could just go home and deal with the rest of my issues from there. Honestly, I'm a veteran to the kidney issues, so I generally just self care once I get the antibiotics to kick the crap.

That was the wrong idea. I went back to the hospital that night and was admitted. I got out late yesterday afternoon.

When I came home, I got the mail. A large envelope from social security letting me know I "do not qualify for disability under the definitions of disabled conditions, and there is no reason why I can't find suitable work given my conditions." Weird, because every single thing I've been diagnosed with, and continue getting diagnosed with, are all listed in their qualifying disorders. The disability advocate group that took on my case probono seems to think they can help me out, so it just means i get to wait til we appeal and battle it out. At least I have someone to help, and they aren't trying to stick their hand out for profit.

I had to work this morning. Don't know why when the majority of the morning was spent watching the boss train the new chick how to do morning routines. Oh well, it's $44, and right now, that's a whole lot.

The boyfriend has a problem and we are headed to the cherokee nation hospital where he has coverage to get his shit checked out. It's a hard thing to talk about as a dude, but... he's had a lump on his testicles and has played off like no big deal. Until it became a painful lump, and now it's looking like an emergency surgery to repair some damages. He's done Jiu-jitsu and mma for the last 17 years, at the very least. The amount of damage he's taken to that area, well, it likely contributed to the issue thats going on. Anyway, the local dr didn't want him to waste any time getting this figured out, so, that's what's next.

I'm working tomorrow. My daughter lost her job and smashed her phone in the same day, so her luck is about like mine. I feel so bad for her, but what can I do??? I told her if she could make the drive here, she could have one of my older samsung phones. But, as it is, gas isn't cheap and her car hasn't had an oil change in FOREVER.

If I played the lottery, I'd be praying to get just a tiny chunk of the win, like $6k. Enough so I could pay my bills, stock my fridge, take care of my daughter so she isn't without a phone, pay for my son's gym membership (the best mental health the kid could ask for), get my truck serviced, and maybe buy some new fucking underwear.

The irs owes me around $10k over 3 years in returns. Like... 2 years of the returns were filed late, and I get that they are short staffed. But, how entirely awful is it to know that I've got that kind of money out there, but I can't touch if til the irs deems it worth their time. Imagine the penalties I'd pay if I owed them money for years??

Oh yeah... and since I was in the hospital, the orthopedic dr put off my appointment for another week. I've been sneaking my arm out if the splint from time to time over the last 2 days...my skin couldn't handle the restriction while I was so sick. The nurses that were doing my iv screwed up so bad, I have 9 bruised punctures up and down my arm. They only had the one arm to abuse thanks to the splint. But, I look like hell. I don't even know how I'm gonna dig out of this shithole.

Here's hoping for some good news to roll in. I could use a silver lining.

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iwilldiewithmyfandoms · 2 years

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I should not be depriving myself of sleep because of the fact that our education system is so fucked after a single day back - I had my first panic attack since we last left school, I had a sensory overload and when teachers saw me in the hallway during both of these they all ignored me completley instead of stopping the, on the brink of tears, child punching themselves in the wrist over and over to stop themselves from punching the wall.

We were off for barely a week and I've been happier than ever sleeping a good 7-9 hours a night learning latin and guitar, researching different types of frogs and it made me realise that not only is school completely composed on a bullshit system made for factory work before child labour laws even became a thing it's also killing our curiosity I mean I attend about half as much school as say any of my friends and they are all less bothered about intresting things (to me at least) around the world and is completely done with school along with having even more anxiety problems then I do.

I, the person who has panic attacks usually on a weekly basis, is one of the less anxious people in my class t

Most people have either given up completley or they've destroyed themselves becoming perfect there are 2 others in my class that don't come to class as much as everyone else aswell and again they're more curious about how the world works and generally happier. School is so detrimental to our mental health the idea of having to get ready to actually go back there in 5 hours makes me feel physically ill and that I might pass out from hyperventilating because I'm afraid; I can't deal with the "regular" school schedule, no one can anymore and it needs to be abolished.

Just.... please??

#capitalism #fuck capitalism #school #disgusting #fuck school #anxi4ty

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theyasminbarnes · 1 year

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Mental Wellness

I have had a rough 6-9 months of life. Work, school, and personal issues. My mental, emotional, and physical health were in crisis. I thought I could do it all and I didn’t lean in my support system due to my own insecurities and embarrassment. Then a month ago I got Covid 19 and I haven’t been the same since.

I struggled with battling my anxiety diagnosis which has now manifested into deep depression. Watching Senator John Fetterman and his acknowledgment of his illness and seeking treatment encouraged me. I then listened to people who said he should lose his job because he was sick. This dissuaded me to be open about what I was dealing with personally because of fear of judgement.

The stigma of dealing with mental and emotional health is common. I want to be more open and honest about my own journey. Seeking help to deal with mental health is a sign of strength.

I am a single mother of a 7th grader who is in the throes of teen hood. My son turned 13 in March. He doesn’t have a close relationship with his father or any other males in his life. Our entire life is primarily centered around each other and he nor I have a “social” life. This has taken a toll on my son and myself.

I work in the school district in my county and we have an employee assistance program that literally saved me. I work as a teacher at a high school. I am new to this school and I was afraid to get close to any coworkers. Emotionally and mentally this work experience was challenging beyond what I was prepared for.

I’m also in school attempting to complete my degree in public relations at Full Sail University. This journey has been exciting and fulfilling to learn about technology and media. Even at work I realize how my degree and technology will help me become a better educator. The program has been extremely difficult. FSU is intense and it requires commitment.

I thought I could get it all done. My spirit was drained. I was not taking care of myself the way I deserved. My candle was burnt out.

One early morning several weeks ago I decided I couldn’t live like this anymore and I made the call. A crisis counselor spoke with me for over an hour. I was given resources and information to seek assistance immediately at a crisis center. A week later I walked into a treatment facility for 5 days. I was blessed enough to take another week off of work. Yesterday was my first day back. It was emotionally exhausting. I worked a full day. I made it through. After each hour passed I felt more comfortable. One day at a time.

Addressing mental wellness is now my top priority for myself and I am grateful I am alive today. I acknowledge that I need support and I am grateful I am in a position to share my story. Self care is not selfish and loving yourself is deserved.

sobriety #selfcare #mentalhealth #supportteam #wellness #spiritualawakening #emotionalintelligence

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thescilencedshadow-blog · 1 year

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Lets re-meet.

It has been 3 years, 9 months and 10 days since my last post. My life is drastically differently. As you know when I started this tumbler I was in a dark place. I was in university away from my support system and before I got my mental health diagnosis.

The boyfriend I have talked about this whole time has been the same and we are now engaged and just waiting for life to get better to tie the knot.

My physical and mental health has been a lot of trouble and of course my family is of no help.

So let us get into who I am. I live in Canada with my finance, my two cats and my dog.

I have gone through two psychiatric hospitalizations in the past 6 years. The first time I was diagnosed bipolar 2 with anxiety. Since then I have been diagnosed Bipolar 1 with borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and ADHD. I see my doctor monthly to deal with these conditions but I wont lie I struggle day to day.

In regards to my physical health I have had chronic pain since my first hip surgery in 2018. The surgery in 2019 did not fix the issue and 4 years latter I am looking at maybe a third hip surgery. I have been disabled for four years now with limited mobility. This obviously brings issues of the struggle to stay healthy and keep weight off (Mental health meds also don’t help with the weight issue). I am currently seeing my doctor for this and we will see how progresses.

I have also been diagnosed with IBS-M. Unfortunately it is pretty treatment resistant and I have tried all kinds of meds, herbs, teas, exercises, and treatments and it will not get better.

The other things that lead to my daily struggle but I wont go into at this time is Hyperhidrosis, Hidradenitis suppurativa, and chronic pain syndrome.

I am currently on leave from work and trying for medical EI so I can gain some time to sort my health out. That is my main task this week.

I have not touched on my family and I probably wont for a while as I still struggle to be able to talk about them without breaking down. I’ll save that post for another day.

I think that is enough of a reintroduction for today and we will see what I post next to help me cope with my life. :)

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coldalbion · 4 years

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THINGS WOT I HAVE LEARNT AFTER BEING VIRTUALLY HOUSEBOUND FOR 3 YEARS THAT MAY BE HELPFUL TO THOSE IN SELF ISOLATION AND/OR LOCKDOWN DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

(Background: I have a lifelong disability and am a wheelchair user. After surgery I’ve basically been stuck living and sleeping in one room for three years. These are things I have learnt which may help, though with the caveat that everyone is different, and baseline mental health varies.)

1. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WILL PROBABLY SUFFER - and although humans are social creatures, even the most introverted will chafe against boundaries enforced upon them by circumstance. The degree to which it suffers will be related to your mental health baseline and physical health. Understand that this IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Stimuli and enrichment methods are required. It’s why animals need such things in zoos and conservation parks. This leads us on to my next point.

2. COMPREHEND WHICH ACTIVITIES ARE ACTIVE AND PASSIVE FOR YOU Spending your confinement solely doing passive things (watching TV, Netflix, browsing the internet, scrolling through the internet) will take a load off your brain and make the time pass quicker. But if that’s all you do, the sense of disconnection increases over time. Activities which require you to *do* something, even if it’s just engaging your motor skills via video games, or lifting some cans of beans, or actively reading - these deliberate acts foster a tiny sense of achievement which gives your brain a dose of helpful chemicals. If you want to consider your activities, look up the work of Marshall McLuhan as regards “hot media” and “cold media” (See https://mediawiki.middlebury.edu/MIDD…/Hot_versus_cool_media for basic premise.) Balancing out your media intake with hot and cold activities keeps your brain active and pumping tasty neurotransmitters.

3. LIMIT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USAGE TO SOCIAL PURPOSES. Infinite scrolling as found on many social media platforms is a hot medium, as per McLuhan. The reason Likes exist is to give that little spike of interactivity. It’s not a conspiracy to say many platforms are designed to keep you on them so they can show you more ads. (See also https://www.theguardian.com/…/has-dopamine-got-us-hooked-on… which explains the brain chemistry angle) However, DM’s and other messaging faculties are supremely useful. Use them to interact with your friends, indulge your fandom theories. Person to person interaction requires and enhances deep-seated neurological and biophysical reflexes. Text your mates. Skype/Facetime or otherwise call them. Use the technology of the 21st century for genuine social ends, deliberately. Catch up with their lives one to one or in groupchats.

4. PICK TIMES TO CHECK THE NEWS AND STICK TO THEM. This relates to point 3 - unfortunately we live in a 24hr news cycle, with constant liveblogging of important issues. This means that we’re constantly streaming anxiety inducing situations into our brains JUST IN CASE. That’s not helpful, particularly when you can’t actually DO anything about those events - the urge to DO something is why people are panic-buying. It’s a very basic primordial need to grab resources for defence. By picking times of the day to check news, you are again, making a DELIBERATE CHOICE, enacting some small level of agency, while at the same time limiting anxiety-inducing stimuli. If the news gets too much, then don’t check it as much - or at all - and do something else.

5. IF YOU DO THINGS WITH FRIENDS, SEE IF YOU CAN DO THEM ONLINE. Run that game of DnD/Other TTRPG you’ve been meaning to. Hold your book club online. Have a few drinks online over voice-chat if you are missing the pub. Hold watch parties for your favourite shows. The key, as ever, is to be engaged rather than passive. It’s harder if you’re ill, yes, but it can be done.

6. USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO CREATE THINGS. Write that fanfic. Start that novel. Design that game. Doodle. Paint. Humans have been creating since the day we became human. Consider things from the perspective of a pre-modern person. Make handprints on your own personal cave wall - contact each other and tell spooky stories. Build a complex fantasy world. Write an account of your confinement for some person to find pieces of years after you’re gone from the world. Think about a problem, and learn how to solve it via taking online classes (See http://www.openculture.com/freeonlinecourses) Write an essay on your chosen passion or hyperfixation - nobody needs to read it but you. Treat yourself to intellectual stimulation, if that’s your thing.

7. IF YOU HAVE A SPIRITUAL. RITUAL, OR MEDITATIVE PRACTICE DO IT. It doesn’t matter if it’s not perfect, or limited in scope. This also includes atheists and those who despise woo - you have personal rituals, things you do that have Meaning to you as a person. Maybe it;s alphabetizing your music collection, or spring cleaning or cooking your favourite meal like grandma used to make. Humans have patterns they perform. When you perform them DELIBERATIVELY (or dare I say MINDFULLY) you become aware that these are the scaffolds that structure human life.

8. STRUCTURE YOUR TIME. Following on from 7, we often don’t realise the structure of our lives until it is disrupted. When that’s removed, our minds can go into freefall. If you’re isolated/in lockdown, oftentimes you won’t be able to access those structures. Rather than wait for them to to become accessible again and risk a period of feeling lost and directionless, which can enhance depression and anxiety, it’s best to develop a new structure based on the resources you have. It can be as loose or as strict as you like, but sticking to it allows us to develop a rhythm which makes time pass in recognisable fashion and gives us a sense of being-in-the-world as some sort of engaged process.

9. KEEP YOUR SLEEP PATTERN REGULAR AND LONG ENOUGH. The key here is REGULAR. Following on from 8, it’s important to keep your body well rested, as this aids your immune system and cuts down on the possibility of your body having to deal with stress . If you’re ill it’s harder to keep this regular, because sometimes your body just needs sleep to regenerate NOW. Equally in isolation, particularly if you’re feeling mentally low, it can be tempting to sleep forever, because y’know, you’re feeling low and what’s the point. (Of course the point is why we have 8 in particular, along with all the rest.)

OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Particularly for those with disabilities or chronic illnesses, we may be even more limited in our activities while isolated than able bodied folks. That said, the key is to remember that certainly during this pandemic, and otherwise YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS WAY. Rubbish as it may be, many are in the same boat. If it pleases you to, seek them out - see what commonalities you have, what hopes and dreams and fascinations you may share. FIND THE OTHERS - it’s what humans have always done.

Be well.

#coronavirus #disability #cripkult

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teashoptiramisu · 3 years

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Todosibs (and other BNHA) rec list

I started another BNHA fic reclist and it got long so I'm putting it here as I tend to.... on my ATLA sideblog. Don't worry about the logic of this too much, haha. Anyways, a lot of these are pretty well known, but maybe some are new to you! I'm also giving pitches for why I like them geared towards specific requests, and I'll list the original request at the bottom of the post so if you guys have further recs that meet these requirements let me know!

Not all who wander are lost -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/17950646 -- 27k words, complete -- Has probably been rec’d here before, and I was re-reading it today as a treat, I still love it a lot! All four Todoroki siblings run away together after Rei burns Shouto. I love the characterization, and how the author draws on their own experience as a foreigner working in Japan, and how they did their research on missing child cases and child homelessness in Japan (it doesn't go hugely in depth but I appreciate the authors' notes discussing this, even if it's, well, incredibly tragic. There’s more light hearted cultural notes as well!)

make this feel like home -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852745 -- 27k words, complete -- we already rec'd this to you but adding it here for completion. A character-focused Todosibs fic with EXCELLENT portrayal of sibling relationships. I re-read this one A LOT.

Dragon Head, Snake Tail -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195510 -- 61k words, incomplete -- Another Todosib favorite that deals with canon and also an AU in which Rei got a divorce and everyone mostly grew up away from Endeavor. I love how the sibling relationships are depicted, but I also love how the author is a huge kanji nerd who fully lean's into Horikoshi's love for punny names and the long authors notes explaining how they came up with every new name in the fic. It's occasionally bittersweet but mostly a fun & humorous fic.

Twin Swap -- https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867879 -- 55k words, on hiatus with 2 complete arcs -- do you want Todosibs AND great villain characterization? (well mostly Fuyumi & Touya, but Natsuo is there for a bit too). Anyways the fic is mostly pretty lighthearted in tone, but it's also not afraid to hit hard in the characterization department, and I really love how this author wrote all of the League members. I re-read this one a lot.

No Such Thing As a Hopeless Case -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/16806328 -- 14k words, hiatus (and right on a cliffhanger too!) -- All Might accidentally kinda adopts the league of villains? Again, great LOV characterization, and I think you'll like how it explores the societal factors and personal tragedies that lead them to and keep them at the margins of society. also, some really terrible puns, which are my favorite thing

could i but teach the hundreth part -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/12558048 -- 5k words, complete -- a post-canon outsider-POV fic of Class 1-A visiting and taking care of a retried All Might. It’s just short and sweet.

Missing Everything -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/30128547 -- 52k words, in progress -- AU where Izuku doesn't learn of All Might's secret during the slime attack, but manages to befriend him through his civilian identity. Recommending this for the really interesting (to me at least) characterization of All Might and examination of his flaws and the toll of his career, and recently it's gotten into some interesting exploration of the details of the Hero System with the beach clean up.

Q.A.B. -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665101 -- 18k words, complete (w/ a sequel just starting out!) -- a really excellent social media fic in which Izuku stays quirkless and doesn't go to UA but does gain a following online for his quirk analysis and hero blogging. Also features great characterization of Todoroki, Kaminari, and some of the Vigilantes crew.

Yesterday Upon the Stair -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/8337607 -- 460k words, complete. You're probably aware of this fic since it's the highest hit count in the fandom, but I really think it fits your requirement and writing and character work! I know some other people who think the writing and character work are mediocre though, which I'm baffled by... but YMMV? The beginning is weaker and my absolute FAVORITE part is the Nighteye arc, which is the last 20% of the fic, but I would say it really starts to hit its stride by chapter 9~10? If you aren't enjoying it by then it's probably fair to expect it won't catch your interest later.

I can't believe no one has written any "self insert as Bakugo" fanfics... - https://archiveofourown.org/works/17662220 -- 70k words, infrequent updates -- I like this one for taking a weird as hell premise and REALLY rolling with it. It's somehow pretty similar to a lot of more positive takes on Bakugo's relationship with the Midoriyas while also being very much it's own thing. The author is NOT "far out of high school" though -- it's hilariously clear from the SI's reactions to certain quirks that the writer started this while taking lower division universtiy physics (and personally I love that). Also appreciate SI!Bakugo's war with Nedzu to get proper counseling and mental health support for class 1-a after all the shit they've been through.

It's Over, Isn't It (it's only yet begun) -- https://archiveofourown.org/series/1269638 -- 66k words, abandoned series with several complete stories -- AU where All Might dies rescuing Tenko from AfO but other than that it's a heartwarming fix-it! Same author as YUTS, very positive portrayal of Nighteye, excellent character writing for many other characters.

Subject: A Comprehensive Report -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/16037609 -- 83k words, infrequent updates -- another very popular fandom staple, but hey it's really good! A social media fic with quirkless Izuku interning with Nighteye as an analyst. Has some very interesting exploration of the legalities of Hero Society and how the status quo developed.

For Fools and Utopias -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/22547254 -- 89k words, updates regularly -- okay grace is the one who rec’d this fic to ME but to anyone stumbling across this reclist on tumblr, THIS FIC IS A MUST READ. Absolutely the BEST, more thought out and gutting portrayal of the flaws of the hero system, and how the different characters struggle with it. This fic GOT to me, hard, I’m still thinking about it a lot. Takes place roughly a decade post-canon, in an AU where Izuku never met All Might or went to UA, and nothing got fixed (yet! they’re trying!!). Features absoulely STELLAR characterization of Midoriya, Shinsou, Todoroki, his sibblings, Ragdoll, and more!!

Here’s the original request:

any of the following in any combination: - really good writing - sophisticated character work - engagements with the ethics of the hero system - some kind of actually nuanced take on the Todoroki family - anything obviously written by people who are long out of high school (sorry for being old) - adults todobaku - good looks at the villains because guess what I continue to be weak for villain stories - basically anything that's Really Good - I like grey areas

(to clarify, I, teashoptiramisu, am not the originator of this request but I’m also interesting in reading more fic exploring these ideas, so if you have any more fic that you think meet it feel free to drop the link(s) in a reblog or send me an ask!)

#fic recs #fic rec #fic recommendation #bnha #not atla #long post

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larphacks · 3 years

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Process Hack: Welfare

Hi all! After a long hiatus, ya boy is back with more unsolicited advice!

What are we talking about this week? It’s LARP welfare!

Common at medium and large games, the role of welfare officer, sometimes called “site parent”, and sometimes divided into crew welfare and player welfare, is very important. It’s also something which can go really smoothly if you do some decent prep before the event. I’ve been discussing the role with some LARPer friends recently, and I’ve put together some advice for good ways to tackle this role.

Some of the below advice falls into the category of sensible prep that everyone can do before a game too, so feel free to read even if you don’t hold (or want to hold) a position like this!

Some of the jobs I outline below might not fall into every welfare officer’s purview - mix and match as you choose. (If you’ve been asked to look after player or crew welfare and don’t know which of the below are your responsibilities, that means you need to have a chat with the chief organisers and find out!)

1. Positive Energy

This can be a surprisingly high-energy role. Particularly in the crew room, one of the most important things a welfare officer can do is be positive and energetic when everyone is feeling a bit tired and down. This is hard! But a bit of jollying-along goes a huge way to changing the dynamic. This is even harder when YOU'RE the one feeling tired and cold and sad. But if you are visibly struggling, nobody will approach you when they need help! A "brave face" is your best weapon.

2. Shut Up!

Sometimes you need to be the "voice of reason" - getting people to concentrate, or quiet down, when it's important that something needs to be done quickly. One good way to do this is to be cheerful enough most of the time that people LISTEN on the rare occasions that you raise your voice and ask them to please shut up for a minute.

3. Early Start, Late Finish

The two above points are ESPECIALLY important during set-up and take-down. You need to be "on the ball"/on duty during periods where other people are transiting into and out of the game. During set-up, your keen crew and players will all be busy frothing and sniffing each other's butts because they haven't seen each other for a year, they want to show off their new kit, and their adrenaline is through the roof. But - it's 30 minutes to time-in and nobody's in kit and the IC areas aren't set-dressed. You need to get them moving!

During take-down, everyone is exhausted, a bit overwhelmed, and wants to sleep (including the refs). But the site needs to be taken down, cleaned and tidied up, lost property needs to be organised, and there are always last-minute disasters involved in the logistics of getting people off site. You can't collapse now - your job isn't done. You might not be in charge of take-down, but you ARE the right person to gently corral and rally tired people towards the plan.

4. Who does what?

If you're the first point of call for someone who's having an issue, being able to confidently signpost to other crew is really important. So firstly, you should know exactly what the other other staff members do and where they're likely to be (in both time and space). If a player comes to you and says "I'm really struggling with the Sorcery rules and I feel very stupid", then sure, you can (and should!) offer them some immediate comfort and consolation. But in order to help them with the root of the problem, you need to know several bits of information:

a) What are the different staff members' responsibilities/expertises? Who does what? (Mike is the person who handles Sorcery rules.) b) Where in space are the other staff located? (Mike is currently refereeing the Clawed Fiend encounter on top of the hill.) c) When in time are the other staff available? (The Clawed Fiend encounter can't be interrupted. It is scheduled to end at 2100hrs. Mike should come back to the crew room after that.)

I'd also recommend you have a good "ticket-tracking" system to make sure your incoming queries are handled and nobody falls through the cracks. You could devolve this onto players ("Come back at 2110hrs and ask to speak to Mike") but it will help things flow smoothly if you are also logging things yourself. I'd recommend carrying a small notebook and pen so you can note things down and tick things off. You can also help things along by being an active communicator and setting the emotional context for solutions. If Mike comes back at 2100 and immediately gets jumped by an emotional player, he might be tired and confused and not give the best answer. But if he comes back and you tell him "There's a player who is having a bad time with the Sorcery rules, they seem quite distressed, I think you can help, they'll be around in 10 minutes" then he won't be surprised and will have the right bit of his brain switched on.

5. It’s all in the Filofax

There is admin information about players/crew which will really help you if something goes wrong too. I'd suggest having the following on-hand, glued into your notebook, on a tablet, or otherwise kept secure on your person (since some of it's sensitive personal data):

a) A list of everyone's allergies and medical conditions. b) A list of qualified first-aiders, and the locations of first-aid kits. c) A list of every vehicle on site, registration number against player/crew name, in case you need a car moved in a hurry. d) A rough understanding of who arrived from where, with whom. It doesn't need to be exhaustive, but if the vehicle which brought 6 people from London breaks down irrecoverably, then being able to help sketch out solutions to get those people and their kit home will be massively easier if you know roughly where people came from.

6. The Outside World

You are likely to also need to be able to signpost to help *outside* the game. If a player comes to you with a problem that can't be fixed with on-site resources, what are you going to do about it? You can't predict every scenario, but at a minimum I'd suggest having the following prepared:

a) A breakdown service for the vehicle that won't start (in the UK the most common is the AA). b) A mental health or emotional support helpline, like the Samaritans (116123). c) The emergency number for injured wildlife - in the UK, the RSPCA (0300 1234 999). d) The emergency and non-emergency medical numbers (in the UK: 999 emergency, 111 non-emergency) and police numbers (UK: 999 emergency, 101 non-emergency). e) A clear understanding of where on site you can get mobile phone signal. f) A plan for how you would get an ambulance onto site if you needed one: run through the whole thing (where on site can I get enough signal to call the ambulance? What is the postcode of the site, and do I have a set of clear directions to give the dispatcher in my notebook? Who am I sending to the site entrance to walk the ambulance on? Is their most likely route of approach clear for a large vehicle?). If you've never called an ambulance in this country, then ask someone who *has* to practice with you, so you understand what questions they'll ask and in what order.

7. Kit & kaboodle

The following are things which LARPers reliably fail to provide for themselves, and which you will benefit greatly if you have on hand. Find out from the organisers what your budget is, and buy accordingly:

a) Salty snacks (crisps/nuts) and quick energy (sweets/fruit). Keep a small separate store aside from the usual 'crew food' to help someone who is struggling. b) The ability to make a hot sweet drink in a hurry. c) Hydration solution (Dioralyte, Powerade, or the cheap alternative, which is six teaspoons of sugar and half a teaspoon of salt per litre of clean water). d) Paper and pens. e) High-powered torch (for searching for lost objects). f) Your own phone on an in-country network, plus at least one charged mobile phone powerbank with multiple charger ends. g) Ice packs - ideally the "squeeze to activate" sort so you aren't relying on the site freezer. (Most common item left out of first aid kids - and immediate relief/comfort for the most common LARP injuries.) h) Warm blankets. i) An idea of how you'd provide a simple hot meal in a hurry. (This could be a packet of rice you can chuck in the microwave, a cup-soup and kettle, a ration pack and a Jetboil, or a good understanding of what the caterers' plan is for an emergency meal.)

If someone is in a lot of distress, going through the process of dealing with their physical needs (food/water/temperature/etc.) can often help them become better able to communicate their psychological/emotional needs. Often a LARPer who is dehydrated or low on blood sugar doesn't KNOW that's the problem, they just know they feel awful and are crashing hard.

8. Know the Ground

KNOW YOUR SITE - I can't stress this enough. If someone has a costume disaster and needs somewhere private to change, where can they do that? If someone is overwhelmed and needs a quiet, safe, cool (or warm) room or tent to lie down in for an hour, where can they do that? If a shy new player shows up and asks "Where do I put my kit?", then being able to answer them quickly and competently with a smile on your face will immediately endear you (and mean that they WILL come to you later, when they're suffering, instead of sitting alone on their bed being sad about it).

9. Late Bloomers

What is the late arrivals plan? If you went IC at 1900 and the traffic means some of your players don't arrive till 2200, then most of your key refs/crew will be busy running the game. You're the most likely person to escort the late arrivals onto site, get them set up, and get them integrated into the game. You'll need to reassure, but you'll also need to understand a lot of admin details to make sure they don't feel any more overwhelmed and embarrassed than they already do. This might involve giving a second safety briefing, pointing out any last-minute changes that weren't included in the game pack, and pointing them to the right ref to get their characters timed in. You can be as nice and friendly as you like - but some people will be even more reassured by practical, reliable and clear directions when they’re feeling rushed and panicky.

10. Herd those Cats

What is the crew plan? Depending on role, you may or may not be involved in "crew wrangling" - this is often a separate role, and deserves its own post. But even if you aren't "crew boss", you need to understand and be able to help balance crew energy and engagement. If there are long periods where crew are likely to be sitting around bored, where are the "pick-up-and-play" roles they can briefly read, digest, and go out to engage in? If crew are doing three hours of back-to-back combat roles, where is the plan for ensuring that they're all fed, watered, rested and properly kitted before their next high-energy role? The best refs will have considered this and have a clear plan for managing crew in small teams to maintain their energy levels - but as a welfare officer you are likely to be the advocate/interface if it doesn't seem to be working well, so make sure you understand where the weak spots and frictions in the plan might be so you can deal with them in advance.

What happens if a crew member comes to you and says they're really struggling with their NPC role and aren't enjoying it? (If you're the approachable face, they'll likely come to you first before a busier ref!) Do you understand the crew matrix well enough to think about solutions, alternative roles they could do, or how the timetable could be re-worked to end their role early? Wherever possible, you should strive to go to the refs with a solution rather than a problem: "Harry is struggling and I think if we brought the poisoning forward an hour, then let him play a gremlin for the rest of the night, that would fix it" is better than "Harry is struggling". They may not accept your solution, but the conversation is already moving onto alternative ways to fix the problem.

11. Easy In, Easy Out

How do players enter/leave the game if they're fatigued or unwell? Your game may not have a clear system for this, and it may be players' own responsibility to manage their fatigue. However, some will struggle to cross the IC/OC divide here: if the character is fighting for their life, how do they resolve that with the player needing to have a lie-down for an hour so they're safe to drive the next day? One of the best games I've run had a clear, signposted system where players who needed a break could "vanish" IC (with a clear IC logic for their disappearance) and take as much time as they wanted. When they were rested, they could go see a ref for a special briefing which told them what had happened while they were away (and explained how they reappeared). You won't find this in every game, but think about ways to make taking an OC break feel like a positive and productive experience, which leaves the character with plenty to talk about when they return, rather than a potentially embarrassing one which leaves the player out-of-the-loop and feeling like they've missed out on the fun.

12. Look After Number One!

Practice active self-care, both to facilitate all of the above and as a good example to others. Going back to the first point, most people can't project positive energy if they're sad, wet, cold, tired and hungry. Have a routine worked out to look after yourself. Understand what you can and can't do and work to your limitations. If you have lots of physical energy but are struggling to deal with six emotional crises in a row, get up and walk around site. If moving exhausts you, pick a central location to base yourself and make sure all the things you need to do your job are in easy reach.

Feel free to reblog with your own additions, checklist items or hacks for looking after your fellow LARPers’ welfare. Suggestions gratefully accepted!

#process hack #LARP #accessibility #larp accessibility #larphacks

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cozy-corner-system · 3 years

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Saw a post today making fun of teenagers who confide in their therapists that they think they have DID and that their trauma is being bullied at school.

And here’s the thing,

That bullying at school could have been happening for years. It could have been happening since they were between the ages of 6-9. Bullying is traumatizing. It is enough trauma to cause a person to become dissociative, DID, OSDD, USDD, what have you. Being constantly bullied, no matter it’s physical, mental, spiritual or emotional, is enough trauma to cause a person - a child - to split and fail to integrate. It’s traumatic to be bullied by the people you’re surrounded by for multiple hours, five days a week. We’re an OSDD-1b System, and a lot of our trauma comes from being bullied throughout the body’s entire goddamn school career. It’s awful, it’s alienating, it has sent us into so many suicidal idealization spirals it’s not even funny.

If they can name their alters, or “know what they look like”; sure, they might not have DID specifically, but they could still have OSDD or USDD. These labels are lesser known, so if a teenager says they have DID but still know their alters, chances are that they just haven’t heard of the other disorders in the System community.

And that isn’t something that should be laughed at, or gatekept - it should be something that sparks conversation and education. Let the teens explore, let them figure out, and, if they are open to it, educate them on the other labels.

Don’t fucking point at a literal child/minor - especially if you’re a whole ass fucking adult - who is trying to find an explanation for their mental health issues and make them into a joke. That is literally so fucking ableist and demeaning that it isn’t even something to be scoffed at. Be the grown up you’re meant to be and don’t. Do. This. Shit.

You aren’t cool, you aren’t smart, and you aren’t fucking funny at all. Stop gatekeeping disorders from kids and let them figure it out. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone, including themself, then what’s the big fucking deal if a 16 year old says they have DID because they think they fit even most of the criteria? It could mean they’re more likely to seek out a therapist, counseling, or just a mental health community to support them.

You don’t know the life stories of random teenagers online. Trauma affects us all differently. Stop fucking fake-claiming all because you think your experience is universal. Maybe just shut the fuck up altogether. I don’t know just a thought.

[Don’t Syscourse on this post, please]

#Pesky and Co #Rant #DID #OSDD #USDD #Dissociative Identity Disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #unspecified dissociative disorder #Ok to reblog #suicide ment

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rural-lesbian · 2 years

Text

Assessment of Mental Health Care in Nova Scotia

CW/TW: This letter refers to mental health related issues including self harm, suicidal ideation and assault.

I emailed the following letter to Tim Houston, Premier of Nova Scotia; Michelle Thompson, Minister of Health & Wellness, Nova Scotia & Hon. Brian Comer, Minister, Office of Mental Health & Addictions, Nova Scotia; concerning the poor state of mental health care in the province. The Premier has announced additional funding to be put forward to support the system, however I do not believe that the Premier and Ministers in charge of this area of the government have enough training and understanding to put into action true change that will improve the system and what is offered.

To date I have not received a response. As such I am publishing this letter outlining the major fissures in the system publicly. Please share as you see fit.

Dear Mr. Houston, Ms. Thompson and Mr. Comer

I am writing to with great concern regarding the state of mental health care in Nova Scotia. As heads of state, government and mental health care in particular, it is imperative that you understand the failings in the system as it exists now, before you begin to start attempting to repair a broken system through means that will not create lasting change. I hope you will take this letter seriously as it pertains to the health and well being of all members of society in Nova Scotia in particular those most vulnerable: Indigenous, Black and people of colour, women, 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals and those experiencing homelessness and poverty.

I am 38, a lesbian, white settler and present as a cis-het woman*. I have many privileges & I live with chronic mental illness and historical trauma. Because of my health I have been unable to work full time in a job as society stipulates one should (9-5pm Monday-Friday for a fixed salary) since 2015. I have lost incomparable income because of this as well as the pandemic. My financial situation is now critical. I live with my mom because I have not been able to find a way to support myself monetarily and continue to live a healthy life.

I have been seeking therapy through the public health care system in Canada since I was a child in many different provinces (Ontario, Quebec, British Columbia, Alberta and now Nova Scotia). Each province’s system works differently and has pros and cons. The system in Nova Scotia is the weakest I have experienced.

In Nova Scotia, if you need to seek mental health treatment you must complete a telephone intake. Anyone who has sought mental health treatment will be familiar with this: the phone call where you reveal all your deepest and darkest truths: whether you’ve been assaulted, whether you experience suicidal ideation, whether you have or continue to self harm, etc. Once you are placed with a clinician you have 8 sessions with them. When I found out my therapist was leaving (for other reasons) I was distraught as I wanted to deal with traumas in order to live a healthy fulfilling life, and I don’t believe this is something that can be accomplished in 8 sessions.

My therapist at the time explained that the mental health care system in Nova Scotia provides care for 8 sessions because they do not want patients becoming dependent on talk therapy. This is because (according to my therapist & presumably the government putting this system in place) ongoing therapy DOES NOT WORK. I have seen this at work before: the revolving door, the patients who come, leave & come back again in crisis. This is not a cycle that I want to live in or repeat. With the help of a well rounded mental health system and clinicians who can provide optimal care this would not be the case or would not need to be the approach.

I am tired of repeating a cycle where I receive inconsistent care simply because I can’t afford to pay for private care.

I am tired of entering the mental health care system in crisis only to be leave several months later with no support.

I am tired of & I do not want to be a patient who needs to return over and over again in that manner. That is not healthy or a holistic approach to health and care.

My therapists response was: That sounds like the way mental health care works. My therapist, paid by tax payers, believes that going to therapy in crisis, leaving a few months later and reentering in crisis mode is the way therapy works.

This form of mental health care makes capital the most important tenet for offering care. Making patients into capital is not a health care system focused on health but on making money.

When I said I wanted consistent mental health care & to leave when I felt ready. My therapists response was that is unrealistic because that will never happen in the public health care system. She furthered that if that were the case (that I left when I was ready) would mean I would be healed of all mental health issues, which is not just unrealistic but impossible.

In essence a government employed health care worker admitted to a patient that the system they work for & that I am seeking help from does not and will never work for its patients.

This therapist then furthered that if I indeed wanted consistent care I would need to go into private therapy. Again I find this really problematic, that a government employed health care worker would a) redirect a patient out of the public system because they are indicating it is insufficient but also b) assuming that I have the means to support that.

If I was able to pay for private therapy I would never waste my time on the public system. The reason I am seeking mental health care in the public system is because I don’t have the means to support paying for private mental health care.

This statement is insulting, ignorant, disrespectful, privileged, tone deaf and ableist. This was said to me - as I stated, a white, cis-het presenting woman. Imagine what that would feel like, how demeaning and invalidating it would be, to someone facing even more barriers than I am.

The major flaws I see in the system is that it is upheld within a patriarchal, white supremacist, hetero-normative, cis-centred system & culture. The mental health care system requires workers with trauma training, clinicians who are Black, Indigenous and other people of colour, 2SLGBTQIA+, clinicians who are disability activists, who respect self-care advocation & who are able to see beyond their own privilege.

I’m invoking the words of Johanna Hedva’s SICK WOMAN THEORY [https:// www.topicalcream.org/features/sick-woman-theory/] which you must read if you have not.

I am raising my sick fist in solidarity, in protest with all the other sick fists raised in protest.

I expect to hear from you.

Colleary.

[* cis-het presenting means I present as a woman and I am a woman and appear to be heterosexual; being white, cis and hetero-presenting are all privileges].

#nova scotia #mental health #public mental health #tim houston #michelle thompson #brian comer #decolonize mental health #2SLGBTQ!A+#bipoc mental health #2SLGBTQIA+ mental health

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