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therealhousewifeofharrystyles · 10 months

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Harry’s Home

(PART I.)

Pairing: Roommate!Harry // Nameless 1st-Person Femme Protagonist

Word Count: ~ 12k words

‼️Mature/18+‼️

⚠️ Content Warnings: Adult Language, Lots of Flirting, Pining, Love/Hate Dynamic, References to Body Weight (“Chubby” Reader), Body Objectification (M & F), References to Masturbation (F), Mentions of Body-Type Biases, Alcohol Consumption (Legal & Responsible Drinking), References to Ovulation & Implications to Breeding

**ANY & ALL IMAGES USED ARE NOT MINE**

Likes, Comments, Reblogs, and Follows are 100% welcome 💕

Weeknights deserve more credit. For many of us, it’s the peaceful resolution to our day. It’s the time when we come home after being excused from our lectures or meetings, or when we clock-out at the end of our shifts. We’ll safely make it back to our comfort zones and our open time slot can be occupied with whatever we want. Those few free hours are sacred. They give adults a necessary recharge. Personally, I share my humble homestead with an egotistical, British businessman—Harry Styles.

Harry was employed as a marketing executive for a unisex fashion brand located in Portland, Oregon. ‘Vol. 6’ started out as a small business, and had recently made waves in the industry with its diverse designs and overall style inclusivity. The company’s roots were planted by a few local, starving artists who set up an online shop with the most modest of intentions. The amateurs were blindsided by how their ideas blew up in overwhelming popularity via the internet. It was like winning the lottery. They eventually accumulated so many orders that they needed to expand their operations—hiring an A-team of designers, tailors, and legal professionals(for copyright purposes, of course). International sweatshops and inhumane labor conditions were far from what Vol. 6 sought to create. And so they stayed in Portland—keeping their focus upon ensuring exceptional product quality, as well as enforcing flexible, comfortable, and progressive working environments for its employees. Although an underdog in the fashion scene, Vol. 6’s excellent reputation continued to soar without a hitch. It turns out that a cohesive process of structured business management and clever marketing can be achieved without sacrificing empathy, creativity, realness, or substance. The only disadvantage is the limited supply of merchandise whilst there’s a metastasizing demand. It’s not like this kind of business structure is rare. High-status designer brands have been known to keep their stock low—or at least that’s what they say—for their popular items to seem more valuable and special. As an operation that works against those capitalist games, Vol. 6 values employee and customer satisfaction over profit. The company’s active attention and true kindness are what separates them from the rest.

So, as I mentioned before, Harry is a part of Vol. 6’s marketing team. He often collaborates with the designing team when he’s working on new promotions or adverts. Creative cohesiveness is essential to successful marketing. Hence why Harry and Mitch became close friends as they had consistently developed ads together for a couple of years.

Some have referred to the boys as yin and yang. One of the two tended to present himself as intimidating and pretentious, whilst the other was comparatively quite mild and personable. It was a mystery how these men befriended one another instead of becoming enemies. Harry was the type that wanted to complete tasks his way, and his way only. In total contrast, Mitch liked spontaneity—preferring to ‘go with the flow’ rather than planning ahead. That method of living was despised by Harry. He was set in his ways. It didn’t make sense to him how his friend could act so unbothered by the world’s chaos. Maybe it was just his hot temper, or maybe it was the way his natural responses to conflict were either instigating a verbal quarrel or using bitter humor as a defense mechanism…but Harry just wasn’t a people person. Mitch had thankfully brought him out of his comfort zone a few times—reminding Harry of his university days when his mates had turned him into a womanizer. The results, however, differed from those times due to Harry developing a bleeding heart as he progressed through his twenties. He was open to new experiences and fun banter with strangers as long as Mitch accompanied him. And so they became somewhat of a package-deal. Well, at least that had been the case before Mitch started dating Sarah Jones.

Harry had nothing to dislike about Mitch’s girlfriend. They got along just fine. However, Mitch became less and less available to Harry outside of work…Which meant Harry wasn’t going out much, and that was his issue. Of course he was happy for his friend—Mitch was supportive of him when he was in a serious relationship a few years back. There was no reason for Harry to be bitter. I personally believe he was just lamenting; that he was struggling to accept the fact that life would no longer be the same as it was. He looked back to when he was working towards a degree and reminisced about how he felt more socially fulfilled from living with, and eventually befriending, complete strangers. Those college memories had been the stepping stones of Harry’s development into true adulthood. He had no intention to ever stop growing and improving as a man. Thus why Harry sought to make a big lifestyle change in order to work towards branching out on his own accord. No more was he to reside in a bachelor-pad apartment with a shitty landlord who had never fixed the rattling air-conditioner. He was going to move somewhere more permanent. A place where he could enter his thirties as successful, single, and not lonely. A housemate would solidify the latter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having met him briefly a few times, Sarah recognized a few of Harry’s traits as noticeably familiar. She knew someone personally with identical mood swings, a goofy laugh, and an annoyingly specific taste regarding every little thing. The combination of resemblances felt bizarre to witness up close. She felt like Harry had been performing as some sort of parody—speaking in hyperboles and absolutes as a joke. But she soon realized she was wrong and that he was just like that. Reacting emotionally was actually his genuine response to any sort of change. Sure, she’d interacted with the moody type before. She’d also certainly met plenty of picky control-freaks. Only, the person Harry reminded her of was unique in that she was entertainingly campy, yet sincerely empathetic; and Harry was the same. That person who’d come to her mind was me. And as soon as Sarah heard the news that Harry was looking for a roommate, her ears perked up and she reached out to me immediately.

But I guess I should probably explain the origin story of Harry and me, together, in more detail…here, I’ll start over:

My introduction to Harry was when a friend of mine, Sarah, gave me the news that her boyfriend’s officemate, Harry, was looking to lease a new place. The house was located in a nice suburban area just outside of Portland. Seeing that the neighborhood had been on the upscale side, he wanted to find a roommate to split the pricey rent with. Me, working full time and desperately seeking a replacement for living with my parents, saw this as the golden opportunity to finally have true independence. My initial excitement almost deterred me from wondering whether this ‘Harry’ dude was decent, or reliable, or if he was just some complete prick. I’d never met the guy. I didn’t know a single thing about him besides his name, and yet I’d already begun to mentally pack my bags. I still should’ve had more reservations about it. But then again, I was already aware of how uncomfortable living with a complete stranger was—thanks to college life in the U.S., of course. Also, Sarah’s boyfriend, Mitch, was (and still is) a respectable guy and I was sure he’d only surround himself with people of the like…logically speaking. After all, he was my closest friend’s boyfriend. If Harry stepped on my toes even once, Mitch would endure a hurricane of wrath from my Sarah.

The added layer of safety provided by my best friend’s loyalty was comforting. But this was still a gigantic step for me as a young adult. I’d be actually moving out of my parents’ house entirely for the first time ever. You could say I was blissfully naive of what challenges and obstacles my future held. Apart from all my idealistic daydreaming, I couldn’t help seeking a clearer picture of who Harry actually was (literally and figuratively).

Sarah had given me a basic description:

“He’s a sweet guy. But he tends to act kind of… ambiguous at times? His vibes go back and forth, you know? Kind of unpredictable. Hot ‘n cold…” she trailed on.

Ok. That obviously required significant elaboration—of which she’d eventually come around to providing after I sang the classic Katy Perry lyrics she’d unintentionally referenced.

“…Yeah, yeah, yeah…” She dismissed me, my sing-songy tangent coming to a giggly close.

“…But I’m serious—Mitch has told me all about Harry’s passive narcissism and how much of a stubborn grump he can be…I don’t know, maybe it’s a British thing. A stereotype, I know; but he switches from sarcastic to compassionate on the flip of a dime…” Sarah rambled.

I squinted at her and shook my head in disbelief. This was starting to sound a little sketchy. A grumpy, moody, narcissist? Awesome.

“Psh, so he’s a crabby geriatric divorceé? Wonderful…It’s no wonder he’s got that old-timey name, to boot. The guy just needs a caretaker…also, why would Volume 6 hire an old dude to handle their marketing campaigns..?” I joked.

Sarah shook her head and laughed as if I’d just said something utterly ridiculous.

“HA! Oh, god…I’ll have to remember to tell Mitch all of what you just said.” Sarah wheezed, entertained by my very false assumptions of Harry.

I blinked at her, not understanding why she found what I said so funny.

“…You have it all wrong, babe. He moved here from the UK, like, 10 years ago I think? Mitch said he hopped around from LA to New York City, then from New York to…um, well…to here, in sweet ole Portlandia.” She concluded.

As a young woman in her early-twenties, I wasn’t very enthusiastic about this living arrangement coming to life.

The look on my face must have revealed my doubts because my friend chuckled, waving her hands around for emphasis, and quickly clearing the air for me.

“Wait, wait, hold on! Before you tune out—He’s in his late 20’s! Just realizing how weird that sounded…Yeesh, I’d never let you live with some stinky, old, Englishman, you dummy!”

Phew…That sounded much better. It wouldn’t be too different from living with my older brother, then. But that one word, ‘ambiguous’—it wouldn’t leave my mind. Adjectives like that just leave too much to the imagination…well, to mine, anyway. What was Harry being all ambiguous about? My overzealous curiosity pushed me to spiral, conjuring up whatever dirty secrets that would be instant deal-breakers for me…

Did he smoke inside? Did he hate cats? Dogs? Or worse, was he the leader of some creepy murder cult? And if so, would he reserve our living room for their weekly meetings?!

...Would I be spared as a sacrifice because of my not-so-virgin blood?

Was he a fratty douchebag who peaked in college and succumbed to alcoholism?

Was he the type who’d refuse to be my roommate once he saw that I wasn’t a size-00? Would he feel catfished and tell me I looked “bigger in person?” …Not like that sort of thing really mattered to me—I’d just heard that before from a few guys around his age who were surely expecting to be faced with some petite porcelain doll…

Anyway, I guess I just hoped he’d be direct enough to tell me…you know…anything worth mentioning before I’d officially become his roommate. For all I knew, he was probably just a snobby little brat with an annoying, pompous accent.

Amidst my internal ramblings, Sarah added that Harry was a perfectionist.

So, I was right—he was a brat.

I wanted to stay positive, though. Maybe he was just a neat freak, and that’s what Sarah was implying. I mean, that didn’t sound too intolerable, right? And if he was moody, maybe he’d just keep to himself most of the time. I was perfectly fine with that. I tended to keep to myself most of the time, too...though, I never thought of myself as that moody…

Whoever he was, I just crossed my fingers that he wouldn’t have any attitude similarities to Simon Cowell. Just imagining that possibility made my head hurt and my self-confidence plummet. Whatever. That was probably unlikely, right?

Nonetheless, I was desperate for answers. Sarah just shrugged at me and told me to look him up myself if I wanted to know more. And so, I went to work.

Who was Harry Styles? Aye, that was the question…sorry, I’ll continue:

Doing some basic Googling, it seemed that Harry was at least somewhat active on social media…enough that he wasn’t untraceable, at least. This was one of those (very)few times where I was legitimately grateful for the existence of online social platforms. I scrolled and scrolled, and clicked, and scrolled some more…for probably 3 solid hours. Daylight had actually run out by the time I’d realized how badly my corneas were stinging. I’d looked at myself in the black reflection of my phone and could see the popped blood vessels in the whites of my eyes. At least I found what I was searching for.

Luckily for me, his—albeit, ancient—Facebook page looked genuine and free of any red flags. To my dismay, I had to send a friend request and a follow request to his socials in order to actually have access to the profiles. Did that make it obvious that I was in the middle of e-stalking him? Quite likely, yes…But I’d let my excitement and curiosity overtake my sense of self-preservation that night. Tiptoeing around so I could naturally stumble across a morsel of information would’ve been agonizing. My main objective was more important to me than playing mind games with that stranger, Mister Harry Styles. I wanted so badly to free myself from the confines of my childhood home, regardless. Ugh! I was the only one in my friend group who still lived with their parents, and the lack of privacy only weighed heavier on me as time progressed. My dear friend, Sarah, kindly gifted me my long-awaited chance at freedom by sending Harry’s offer my way, and I wanted to run with it.

Yes, I may have been diving face-first into a serious commitment with a complete stranger. Sure, I’ve never lived with a man who wasn’t related to me. And, yeah, I was nervous that this guy was going to reject me because I was younger, eager, and…kinda on the chubby side, to be honest. I know, I know…

My size shouldn’t matter, I knew that, and I still know that. It never truly matters. I knew my situation wasn’t the same as meeting a lousy Tinder date or whatever, but I felt paranoid regardless. All sorts of men have burned me in the past with their shallowness, so I wasn’t about to hold onto a false guise of confidence just for my big break to disappoint me in the end. The age difference felt somewhat significant on top of that. I’d been made aware that Harry was a few years my senior, but it didn't bother me. I hoped it wouldn’t bother him, either…that, and everything else about me, of course…I just had to wait and see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He accepted my friend/follow requests immediately, and I dove head-first into research (lowkey-stalker) mode. From awkward prom photos and blurry, live music performances, the innocence of his Facebook profile finally put my worries at ease. His most recent profile picture was of him, his mother, and his sister. The candid, selfie-style photo successfully pulled a smile out of me. It’s not a secret that there are wolves in sheep’s clothing out there. But my gut assured me he was safe—that he was a decent guy. The back and forth comments on those family photos were friendly enough for me to assume a close bond between the two siblings, especially. My cheeks started to ache from my incessant smiling and giggling. The pictures were just so cute, I had to message Sarah about it.

[Text Messages]

Me: stfu this guy is adorable 😫

Sarah: HA I’ll have Mitch let him know u think so 😏 ❤️

Me: Oh my god, fr pls don’t

Sarah: Too late 😉

Me: Alrighty 🙂 Brb…gonna go play in traffic 🤪

Sarah: Ur such a drama queen lol

Me: Yep, that’s me 😚

Sarah: xoxo 😘💋

** one week later **

Sarah told me Harry was a bit different than the way he seemed in those family photos. She said he had tattoos and that he was a total frat boy at heart. All shyness aside, “…his true colors shine their brightest when he’s riled up…I’ve seen it. Little crabby pants man-child.” It was safe to say that Sarah was explicitly giving me a warning for Harry’s hot temper. I looked past it at the time because–as a sensitive crybaby myself–I assumed he was just in-tune with his emotions. I saw nothing wrong with that. I actually found it to be quite refreshing. A handsome man who isn’t an emotionless narcissist or a bird-brained himbo? Sounded pretty exciting to me! I looked forward to possibly cohabitating with someone who had a solid connection to their empathetic side.

Also, basically everyone and their mom has a tattoo or a sleeve. Harry wasn’t different or special in that way to me at all. I completely shrugged it off. Who cared? Still curious as all hell, I scrolled around for a link to his Instagram. The link was right there on his Facebook profile.

Nice.

This is just too easy, I thought. I’ve got all this information on this man at my fucking fingertips.

Wow wow wow wow…

So, uh…Needless to say, Harry presented himself as a little less, um…well, I definitely wouldn’t have pegged him as a “mama’s-boy.” I mean, it wasn’t like he was unrecognizably different or anything. Sarah’s depiction of him, although vague, was right on the nose. All of this was meant for research purposes only. But it was objectively true that he was insanely gorgeous. It was just a fact. Pretending like Harry was average in attractiveness…I mean, why would I do that? Why would I lie to myself when the man was just an innocent sight for my sore eyes? That’s all he was…he was cute. Handsome. Adorable. It was as simple as that. I just don’t know why I couldn’t stop coming back to his Instagram time and time again. No matter how paranoid I’d been about accidentally liking a post from like…5 years ago…I still kept clicking on his profile for more.

He had a few videos of him working out—pull ups, bench presses, deadlifts—all of which featured a very sweaty, and very shirtless Harry.

He also had a few group shots with friends. Sometimes there would be a picture of him with his mom or his sister.

The latest posts revealed his plethora of tattoos to my unexpecting eyes. It was obvious that he knew he was attractive. He knew he wasn’t some average Joe. And I swear he had to have known I was looking. Surely he was looking at mine, too. But I was quite conservative and innocent on my instagram profile—similar to the way he looked on his Facebook. I had to admit, the general vibe of this virtual scrapbook was indeed leaning on the fratty side. Sarah was right. He also seemed aloof in some ways. It looked like he preferred small gatherings to larger ones. He didn’t post very often, and it was hardly ever him who’d be taking photos of himself. Someone else would capture Harry’s beauty.

The contrast between the two online profiles distracted the hell out of me. Specifically, I found myself gawking at him in his sweaty workout videos. His defined shoulder muscles quickly caught my attention, my gaze drifting across the defined blades until I ventured lower. The butterfly on his abdomen was both creepy and beautiful. It reminded me of the moth from Silence of the Lambs. Its wings glistened with a layer of moisture as he pulled himself up and down on the steel bar. Beads of sweat made his chestnut curls cling damply to his skin. I salivated watching this man strain and flex continuously; and I felt myself arch my back while I sat, pressing and grinding my clothed core against my mattress.

Jesus…What was happening to me?!

So, uh…the truth is…I thought Harry was really fucking hot. There was no point in lying about it. His hair just looked so soft and silky, and I wanted to run my fingers through it. I wanted to pull at it. I wanted to slide my soapy hands across the art on his body under a steaming hot shower. I wanted to kiss my way down until I was met with what I was 10000% convinced would stand a girthy, 7-inch masterpiece. Oddly specific, I know. But it was obvious he had a gorgeous dick to compliment the rest of him. He just had this vibe—this aura about him. It’s hard to explain. What was worse was how it seemed as if he knew he exuded that ‘big-dick energy,’ too.

So why 7 inches? Well, the dildo I’d been using for a while was about 6 inches—which was very nice, don’t get me wrong. But it just didn’t quite fill me…completely. And so I’d begun to fantasize about how Harry could stuff my holes instead. Fantasy Harry was a motherfucking dreamboat, let me tell ya. I couldn’t stop daydreaming about him—from carrying heavy boxes into the house and helping me unpack, to flat-out forcing me onto all fours, spanking my ass, and fucking me to tears. The fantasies only evolved over time, no matter how hard I tried to push those perverse thoughts away…but to be honest, I didn’t want to…

Nevermind his admittance of vanity, he still had a gentleness about him…hiding somewhere beyond those pale, teal eyes. Or maybe it was my overwhelming attraction to him that cast a rosy hue to how I perceived his character. I guess that was possible. However, I tended to have a good radar for these sorts of things—people, I mean. Harry made me feel excited, secure, comfortable, and very horny. I had no intentions of backing out from signing that lease, and I decided it was time to officially confirm that with him.

My addiction had only worsened from there. I’d begun to shamelessly use his posts as some sort of spank bank for my regular sessions of alone time. My body reacted quite positively to the change in routine. I couldn’t get too into it, though, as I hardly ever had the house to myself. That was one reason why I wanted out of there. Of course, I was still able to have my fun; I just needed to keep quiet. But fucking myself to Harry made staying quiet extremely difficult. It was like masturbating on Hard Mode. I was constantly hyper aware of how I handled my phone with my one free hand—so as to not double-tap. Then there were some photos of him where I’d pinch and zoom in closer, straining my eyes to see if I could make out the outline of his bulge. He wore black athletic shorts a lot of the time, so he was usually protected by the camouflage of the dark fabric. In one of his weight-lifting videos, though, he brought the bar up from the floor up to his knees, then slid it up just below his hips, and—oh my god. The metal pressed so closely to the tops of his thighs that he had his whole package propped up. His shorts tightened perfectly around him. It was so subtle, most people would probably miss it upon first glance. But I didn’t. I saw it. And now I can’t unsee it.

Oh…but he wouldn’t post him with a…or would he…?

Ugh, that cocky little smirk…Fucking asshole.

I hated him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Of course, I felt really dirty for thinking about my new roommate like that.

Oh, yeah…Sorry, uh, I forgot to mention: the two of us had e-signed the lease. I know, I know…but I needed to take the offer! How could I pass up the chance to 1.) move out of my parents’ house, and 2.) move in with a sexy, brooding, successful British man whom I could trust because he was a mutual friend AND…I honestly loved the house. It was old, but not broken or in shambles. The floors were amber hardwood, and the whole house was finished with matching carved, wooden railings and accent wall paneling. Having recently been remodeled, the kitchen was in excellent shape. Appliances were updated. The property was managed by an association which handled the lawn, utilities, and small, miscellaneous amenities. We had our own driveway, a connected two-car garage, and our mailbox was labeled with both of our last names.

The charming little cottage condo was now officially, and contractually, mine and Harry’s. I was ecstatic about it, honestly. We still hadn’t met in person yet, which I knew wasn't the smartest approach, but we’d at least chatted a bit over text and shared some friendly phone calls. His voice was insanely sexy, might I add. I knew he was from the UK, as per Sarah, and so of course I was expecting to be greeted with that accent. What I was not expecting was this slow, deep…rough…

Eek, sorry—um, I wasn’t expecting a voice like that to come out of the speaker, that’s all. Dare I say it, he actually sounded nervous to talk to me on that first call. He’d stutter his words whenever I posed a question, and I could practically hear his boyish smile through my phone. It also took forever for him to end our calls—our goodbyes resembling the never-ending midwestern kind that I was unfortunately very familiar with. They didn’t feel nearly as painful or awkward, though. Listening to his accented mumbles on the other line released a flutter of butterflies in my belly.

I later learned that Harry had performed his own research on me. The only difference was that he’d done most of it a week or so before we’d e-signed the lease together.

It was simple. At work, Mitch mentioned me in a conversation regarding the house Harry had his eye on. He was interested the moment my name was suggested, a gut-feeling making him latch onto me. Once he’d discovered my online profiles by searching through Mitch’s mutuals, his infatuation with me soared. He had a juvenile crush on me from the get-go.

Feeling 17 again, Harry would look for openings in their casual discussions so that he could bring me up. Mitch, being a good sport, spent day after day playing his role as the messenger between the 4 of us. He wished Sarah had just given Harry my phone number straight away instead. If she did, Mitch would’ve been able to eat his lunches in peace. Not only did Mitch lack the answers to those questions, but he’d also only interacted with me a handful of times. He struggled to provide Harry with even the barebones descriptions. How was he supposed to know whether I was a morning or a night person, or what my thermostat preference was, or which days I did my laundry, or how often I had guests over? My private social media accounts offered better information about me than that of the fleeting memories my best friend’s boyfriend stored in his brain.

Harry intended to use somewhat of a surreptitious approach to voicing his curiosity to Mitch. But his sly efforts were useless, as Mitch caught onto his scheme quite easily. There wasn’t anything indicating to me that he was interested in me in any way. Well, not until Sarah let it slip that Harry couldn’t keep my name out of his mouth whenever he spoke to Mitch. But I thought he was just curious…I mean, I was a random, younger woman whom he was going to be living with. It made sense to me that he wanted to know so much about me. I was just as curious.

Casual lunch conversations between the two men had begun to form a particular pattern of redirection. At first, Mitch thought Harry was simply just eager to send in his deposit before anyone else could. The rent cost was a steal for how nice the house was and for the lovely neighborhood it was in. However, he knew all this enthusiasm was directed towards me, in particular, when Harry’s eyes were perma-glued to his screen whilst scrolling through my photos. I didn’t really have that much to scroll through, but apparently Harry spent enough time staring at each individual picture that one may have assumed I had an endless gallery. He’d even taken the liberty of digging further and eventually found my LinkedIn page. I remember how the week before our first phone call, I’d gotten a notification from LinkedIn telling me that someone viewed my profile…I didn't even know why I kept the app on my phone since I was content with my current job. Nevertheless, Harry’s investigation wasn’t as covert as he’d hoped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry was scrolling around on my LinkedIn profile in the Vol. 6 breakroom. Without thinking, he outwardly deduced to Mitch, “She must be the commitment type,” referring to my short, yet impressive résumé. He promptly followed up his inference by chiming,“She’s lookin’ for something’ serious then, hm?”

As soon as the words escaped his lips, Harry’s nonchalance disappeared.

Mitch stopped in his tracks as Harry decided to drag the comment out further.

“I-I mean, like, for a serious living arrangement, y’know?” Harry squeaked.

Mitch cringed in discomfort as the cracking of Harry’s voice pierced his eardrums. To the man’s dismay, his friend didn’t know how to shut his mouth.

“…Some people can be quite fickle ‘bout it, yeah? And what, she’s 24? Surely she’s been disappointed by dozens of pricks by now. Must be dying for someone she can actually rely on, dontcha think?”

Mitch pursed his lips and half-heartedly agreed, “Mhm, probably sick of the fear-of-commitment type.”

Harry nodded and pulled at his lip with his thumb and forefinger. He then continued to ramble on.

“Now tha’ I’m edging on 30…I dunno…’guess I’m just looking—” He paused to clear his throat and scratch his nose with his knuckle. He looked considerably anxious. “—looking forward to, uh, commitments, and all tha’.”

Mitch’s eyes narrowed towards his friend who kept fidgeting with his hands on top of the table and dodging all eye contact. He found Harry’s clumsiness entertaining. He wanted to see how long he could get him to chase his tail. Instigating, Mitch said,“Yeah…So, uh, did you find anything else interesting about her?”

Harry lifted his head up to meet with the other man’s suspecting stare.

“Huh? Well, y-yes, definitely! ‘Course I did. She, uh…well, she’s—”

“—She’s a pretty girl…yeah, H?” Mitch interrupted, cutting him off from his stuttering. Harry swallowed dryly in response. At that point, it seemed to him that Mitch had finally picked up on his crush.

“Uhm, yeah…yeah, I think she is. Quite lovely, now that y’mention it.” His eyes blinked down at the zoomed image of me in a bridesmaid’s dress displayed on his clutched phone screen. Mitch patted Harry’s shoulder, heartily laughing at the glassy-eyed brunette in front of him.

Except, Harry wasn’t laughing. The shells of his ears turned red hot and his knee bobbed awkwardly under the table, unintentionally knocking on the hard surface a few times.

“Ah! Fuck.” He cursed under his breath, holding his nervous knee down.

“Harry, it’s ok if you have a lil crush on her...” Mitch assured him. Harry gnawed on the inside of his lip as Mitch kept on. “…God, y’know, I haven’t seen you down this bad since…well, since Cam, I think...”

Harry gulped at the mention of the woman’s name…the woman who broke his heart several years earlier. His discomfort with the subject was apparent to his friend who then swiftly rephrased. “Shit…Sorry…I just mean, like, you’ve got heart-eyes for a girl you’ve never even met. You don’t know her. She doesn’t know you…”

Harry stayed silent.

“…Honestly, I’m surprised. ‘Used to you always going for the Barbie-type. It’s nice to see you’re, uh, broadening your horizons, hm?” He smirked and drew an exaggerated hourglass in the air with his hands.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows and got defensive at the suggestive implication. “Besides having dated all women, I’ve never had a type, Mitchell.” He scoffed. “And another thing—” Harry quipped, his pupils swallowing the soft green of his irises. Mitch, unintimidated, seemed quite amused by his friend’s sensitive temper.

“—You shouldn’t talk about her like tha’. Inn’ she close with Sarah?! That’s your girlfriend’s best friend. ‘S fucked up.”

Mitch nodded in agreement with a dismissing chuckle. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sarah’s known her for years, but I was just messing with you, man. Relax.”

The men were quiet for a few moments before Mitch sent a warning Harry’s way.“Don’t fuck around with her, ok? ‘less you’re looking to mop up the poor girl’s tears every day. You’re signing a 3-year lease, remember? Try not to think with the wrong head.”

Harry glared at Mitch.

Wha—mopping up tears?! That’s a bit dramatic…

Contrary to Mitch’s assumptions, Harry wasn’t planning to create an uncomfortable living space. That’s the last thing he wanted. Sure, he was attracted to me and felt little butterflies fluttering in his belly when he read my posts and my texts. So what?! That’s his business if he had a teeny tiny crush on his potential housemate. It felt like Mitch was deliberately egging him on, and that’s precisely how the conversation escalated.

“What—? What are you going on about?” His voice strained to release the words. Mitch was done beating around the bush—he realized how the aftermath of Harry’s pursuit of me could end with lots of crying on my part; and worst of all, a very angry Sarah Jones. He wanted to avoid that outcome as much as possible.

“H, you’re stalking her Facebook and shit—”

“—Oi! ’S not like tha’! I just wanna know who I’m asking to move in w’me!”

“Ok, well I’m pretty sure you don’t keep looking through all her photos because you wanna know how good she is about washing the dishes.”

“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about…” Harry huffed. “…’Sides, you know it takes me a bit to get comfortable with people. Not to mention, I've never had a bloody roommate befo’, either.”

He was telling the truth—omitting some personal details in the process, but that didn’t matter. Not to Harry, at least. He knew Mitch was terrible at keeping secrets and that Sarah would be in the know before he could even finish a confession. There was no way he was going to risk jeopardizing such a safe and pleasant option with sharing his feelings so soon.

“Okay…” Mitch trails off. The air in the room was still and it made him uneasy. Harry scratched the shadow of stubble adorning his jaw. His impulsive mouth thankfully filled the silence that was suffocating them previously. As grown men and friends, the boys seemed to act like stubborn adolescents when it came to women—specifically, when it came to Harry and women.

“Um…so, you said you’ve met her before, yeah?” Harry couldn’t let it go.

Mitch drank from his water bottle and gave Harry the thumb’s up with his free hand.

“Then uh, why don’t you tell me ‘bout her? Like…Wha’s she like in person…?” Mitch took a deep breath and screwed the cap back onto the bottle. He then rubbed his thumb and forefinger against his chin mockingly. It was like Mitch was searching for ways to further tease Harry about his crush. Harry chose to ignore it this time.

Despite lacking approval in Harry’s newfound love-interest, Mitch offered him his honest knowledge anyway.“Hmm…well, I first met her at Sarah’s birthday party a few years back…She was nice, just a little on the quiet side. Seemed like she was holding herself back in that way, you know?”

The sincerity of his recollection shocked Harry. He was expecting to be turned down or mocked once again—he was even planning in his head what to send me via DM to further get to know me, assuming Mitch would’ve ended the conversation by that point. Luckily, he was mistaken.

“I remember her, like, tearing up at a picture of Lexi’s daughter. I thought that was a bit dramatic—the crying, I mean—but, I guess she hadn’t seen Lexi and her baby in almost a year or something..? I dunno…”

Harry frowned, empathizing with my reaction. It broke his heart whenever he couldn’t see his godchildren for long stretches of time, too. Mitch then tapped his fingertips against the table, traveling deeper into his memory to provide more details for Harry.

“…I’d say she’s sensitive in general, though. Sar told me how she’s always the one crying at movies, crying’ in arguments…cries whenever she sees a cat video on TikTok. Kind of a hot-mess, if you ask me…”

Harry’s lips twitched into a smile imagining my expressive emotions.

“...OH!” Mitch clapped his hands and chuckled before proceeding.

“She’s got this laugh that’s, uh, it’s like low-key really loud. Like, sometimes it’ll be this crazy wheeze and then, right away, she’s as red as a fuckin’ tomato. Sarah thinks it’s hilarious and they’ll basically laugh at each other for an hour. But yeah, you can tell she gets all weird and embarrassed after she laughs, though—and she apologizes for everything, all the time. Always sayin’ sorry when she literally didn’t do anything. I swear, dude…Someone could knock her onto her ass and she’d be the one to apologize. Wait, I think she’s from somewhere in the Midwest—like the northern nicey-nice states, y’know, so maybe it’s that? I’m not sure.”

“That’s…kinda cute.” Harry mumbled, his cheeks turning rosy.

Mitch grinned. “Oh, you think so?” A pink hue then washed over Harry’s skin entirely and he bashfully ran his hand through his loose curls. “Yeah, she seems quite lovely—I mean…”Harry stumbled over his admiration, trying his best to sound cool and detached. He failed miserably.

“…I-I dunno…Jus’ forget it.” He then buried his face in his hands, shamefully admitting defeat.

Mitch rolled his eyes and chuckled at his lovelorn friend. He guessed Harry was only randomly feeling things for me because he’s lived in a bachelor’s paradise for too long. It was also a known fact that he’d only have short flings once every blue moon. Those flings have become fewer and farther between as of late. Romance and commitment weren’t really Harry’s forte.

It’s not that he didn’t want a partner, but that he viewed the whole relationship-building process to be strenuous and stressful. Life and work were already difficult enough to balance. And so, for the past few years, Harry let himself be completely occupied by his job at Vol. 6. The go-to excuse to his friends (and especially his mother) for not settling down yet was that he carried a heavy workload, and he didn’t want to be an absent partner because of it. He’d end those conversations with a snippy “‘S as simple as that” phrase.

Even so, Harry was praying to God in the privacy of his lonely bedroom that he’d have the chance to settle down soon. All his adult life, he’d aspired to meet ‘the one’ and for him to give that one all his love and all his babies—a hopeless, hungry romantic Harry was. Dreams like these passed through his subconscious more frequently the more he aged. The British businessman was famished, desperate for love and connection.

Dating around was disappointing and redundant, and one-night-stands made him feel gross. He wasn’t simply a dumb, horny teenager anymore, he wasn’t even much of a dumb hornball of a man in his early adult years. Nay. He always kept an underlying craving for passion and compatibility. Harry was going to enter his 30’s in less than a year and he desired more than lackluster, meaningless sex with boring strangers. He needed more than arm candy. He needed more than a weak flame. He longed for an all-encompassing wildfire to eat away at his flesh from the inside out. He wanted to feel someone’s presence consume him.

Recently, Harry’s dreaming intuition had been signaling to him that he wouldn’t have to wait much longer to finally find his person. He was so needy for someone to genuinely love, and he felt overwhelmingly drawn to me from the very start—to my smile, my innocence, and my bleeding heart that matched his own. My lucky arrival into his life had only increased his determination towards lifelong romantic and sexual fulfillment. He just knew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The time had come for us to meet in person. We’d gone out for drinks with Mitch and Sarah one weekend. It was a safe choice. This way, no one would feel uncomfortable, left out, or excluded. But in all honesty, it felt more like a double-date than a friendly gathering at a local bar.

I had been somewhat apprehensive about drinking around Harry knowing how I was a bit of a flirty(slutty) drunk. All it took was 1.5 cocktails for me to be a giggling, cock-hungry devil woman. Sarah knew this about me. She’d witnessed my nymphomania from the sidelines whenever we’d go out for a girls’ night. Yet, this knowledge did nothing to prevent her from ordering the 4 of us tequila shots before I’d even stepped into the establishment.

Of course, I was late—I’m late to everything. But that night, it was different. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown with hangers and loose clothes strewn across my bed and crumpled in clumps on the floor. Even my mother felt the need to knock on my door after one of my particularly loud outbursts of frustration—making sure I wasn’t actually in pain. I was fine. I just needed to look my absolute-fucking-best when I met my dream guy face-to-face for the first time! Was that such a crime to try and accomplish?!

My mom didn’t get it.

I’d finally slipped into a pair of high-waisted, dark wash jeans that made my ass look like a big, juicy peach, and a red, ruffled peplum-blouse that deliciously hugged my curves—my large breasts, especially. I topped it off with a tin cup choker and a pair of black, knee-high, heeled leather boots. My self-confidence switched from plummeting to soaring once I’d done a final mirror check on my way out the door.

I knew I had the ability to somewhat ‘make an entrance’ (in dim lighting, at least). However, as soon as Harry and I locked eyes, I saw his mouth hanging open as if I was an A-List celebrity approaching him. My stomach glittered with butterflies at witnessing the effects of my gorgeously buxom appearance. The high-pitched ring of Sarah’s playful wolf-whistle pulled me back to reality.

There he was. He was real. And he was even hotter than I thought he was. Yet, it was him whose features reacted to me with lusty enchantment.

His pupils were devouring me as we stood in a lull. My hand extended towards him for a cordial handshake. But as his large hand gripped mine, he pulled me into his chest for a hug—planting a soft kiss on my cheek. What was even more unexpected was how natural it felt to have his arms around me. The four of us then did a few rounds of shots that night. As a (heavy-weighted) lightweight, I was giggling like crazy after the first two throws. Harry laughed every time I did, and vice-versa, and so we’d run out of breath repetitively—basically falling to the floor on top of each other. We looked like a goofy, touchy couple out on a double date, but we were completely ignoring the other couple. Sarah found our loopy mingling to be quite entertaining, as did Mitch. They both had intimate knowledge the other didn’t. The night eventually wound down and the snoozy (actual)couple left for home via car service. I definitely wasn’t sober enough to drive, either. Thinking back, I suddenly remember sharing a private moment with Harry around that time. Nothing R-rated. Not even PG-13, really.

Our friends had already parted ways, leaving the two of us drunk and cozy at a corner-table in the back of the bar. He ordered us some ice water, of which I’d gratefully accepted. I was mid-gulp when I felt his fingers tuck a section of my hair behind my ear. In hindsight, that was a cheesy, 90’s romcom thing for him to do. However, it felt so gentle and sweet in the moment, I didn’t care. My eyes blinked up at him, my mouth occupied with chilled fluids, and he smiled dreamily down at me. Swallowing and setting my glass down, a soft giggle escaped my lips.

“You’re even prettier in person, y’know.” Harry drawled. More light laughter came out of me before I returned the compliment. “Mmm, you too, Mr. Styles.” His cheeks dimpled and he shook his head at me. “Tha’s cute, but I’m serious.”

I raised my eyebrows at his accusation. “So am I.” My arms folded over my chest in playful defiance. We sat there for a few beats, deeply drinking each other in as if the other person was the bartender’s last call. Harry broke the trance first. “Need t’get ya home, love.” His hand moved to cover mine on the tabletop. Out of instinct, my glassy eyes followed his touch. He was cold, clammy even, yet I could feel my skin flush red-hot in retaliation.

Harry seemed hardly intoxicated or loopy anymore. He had more to drink than me, for sure. However, I had to hold onto him for stability in order to exit the building. Leaving the bar that night gave me the same satisfaction as going home after an amazing first date. I hadn’t met a guy so instantly enamored by my presence since high school…back when I was a size 8! As a size 16 in my early twenties, I’d gotten used to men talking over me and looking right through me. There was no reason for them to treat me that way. I’d always been told that I’m the nicest person in the world—that I was beautiful and hilarious and passionate and brilliant. None of that mattered, though. I was either met with pure indifference or blatant, manipulative narcissism from the opposite sex. But Harry was the diamond in the rough. He treated me better than just decently. He made me feel like a person deserving of much more than the bare minimum—more than just mere kindness—worth love, attention, effort, adoration, and affection. I hadn’t felt that in a long time…if ever.

And don’t worry, neither of us drove home. Harry ordered an Uber for me and rode along so that he could make sure I got inside my parents’ house safely—escorting me to the door like a proper gentleman would. I’d only really experienced that kind of ‘chivalry’ once or twice before. Not that every guy I’ve dated was a complete asshole to me, but the bare minimum was certainly a chore for some…It was refreshing to be treated so delicately—by someone who hardly knew me, to boot.

That entire first impression…it was a solid confirmation for me.

I liked Harry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry and I have grown to be quite friendly with one another since we first met a little over a year ago. However, we sure as hell didn’t start out that way—yeah, the amazing time at the bar was a false first impression. Sure, Harry would still have his moments where he was genuinely caring and gentle. But for the most part, his demeanor changed into that of an antagonistic older brother. So, you could say the initial acquaintanceship was tense.

For starters, we had that 5 year age-gap; and so Harry used that as a pass to be an arrogant, cynical, pretentious know-it-all. It was like he always needed to be the one and only expert on everything. And I’m certain he’s always gotten off on every rare instance where I’ve shown to be naive. Yelling-matches would occur every so often for months as both of us are sensitive hot-heads. We ended that streak of arguing when Harry’s big mouth had inevitably put me in tears. I think it was around the 6-month mark (of living together) when it happened. What’s silly is how his comment didn’t even deserve my dramatics, really. I’d already been in a piss-poor mood that night, and I’m just a crybaby in general. So you betcha any joke about me and my body, no matter how innocent the intentions behind it, throws just enough of a punch to unleash the hysterics.

I was in our living room watching YouTube when Harry came home from work. The video on the TV had pulled a full-blown guffaw out of me a minute or so before the door opened—which felt like a wave of relief after a long, miserable day at my job. I typically would spend more of my time enclosed in my bedroom, but I guess I just felt like switching things up that day. Besides, Harry acted as if he owned the whole goddamn place. The house was 50% mine, too (per our rental agreement). I had every right to venture away from my compact sleeping quarters for the evening. There was still a high probability that Harry would be a grump about it.

Fucking whatever.

If I wanted to enjoy our shared entertainment room, then I was gonna fucking enjoy it! My confidence was torn out from underneath me the moment that prick made his entrance. The door swung open, and there he was—white-collared, spotless, and as smug as ever. He released a generous sigh, an attempt at drawing my attention, but I refused to acknowledge his homecoming. What? Did he want a freaking ‘welcome home, honey’ from me or something?! Being a part of Harry’s House’s Greeting Committee wasn’t in the fine print of our lease. Plus, the last time I kindly acknowledged him after work, he brutally mocked me.

[“Hi!!!” I exclaimed with a sweet smile.

He raised an eyebrow as he slipped his shoes off. “Uh, hello.”

I was in the middle of stowing the last of the groceries away. I’d been in a pretty good mood that afternoon. I don’t know why or what made me so excited for Harry to come home, but I just was. Typically, I wouldn’t be keen on asking him to talk about his day. But, again, I was just feeling good. I didn’t understand why that deserved such an adverse response from the man.

“How was your day?! Oh yeah, you had that big meeting, or whatever, right?”

“Mhmm.” He muttered, unbuttoning the wrist cuffs of his shirt and rolling the sleeves up to his shoulders.

I grinned brightly at him and opened the fridge. The way Harry looked with his stuffy work clothes always made me melt. He kept his tattoos well-hidden, but simply pulling his sleeves back would reveal the art…and that was something he’d do as soon as he got home. The action was so small and innocent, but witnessing it so closely—whilst simultaneously inhaling the faint notes of his expensive cologne—sent rushes of heat down to my core. He had no idea how hot he was when he did that…actually, he probably knew exactly how hot he was…little shit…

“So…Did your presentation go ok?”

“Uh, yeah, ‘went fine. It was fine...glad to be home, though.” Harry sighed, but I saw him fighting a smile once I’d turned around to face him.

“Oh? Just fine?” Judging by his subtle cheekiness, I had thought he had some news to tell me. It just seemed that way to me, at least. Or maybe that he was hiding something, or about to make a joke. My latter suspicion was quickly confirmed as true.

“I dunno…It went well, I guess…couldn’t wait to get home...” Why was he smirking at me?

I giggled and continued the banter.

“What are you being so modest about? I’m sure the reps at Gucci fell in love with the designs.”

Harry slipped onto one of the bar stools and watched me unpack the remainder of paper bags from behind the kitchen island. He leaned back against the seat’s backing with his arms folded and resting comfortably atop his abdomen. After making silent eye contact for a moment, I resorted to laughing lightheartedly and raising my eyebrows at the man.

“Eh?”

Harry just smirked.

I’d begun to fold up the empty paper bags. My cheeks were definitely blushed pink, reacting sheepishly to his stare. To conceal my submissive appearance, I reached up—pushing up onto my tiptoes—to stack the paper bags above the refrigerator. It didn’t matter that my back was facing him. I could still feel his eyes following my every move. Why did he have to intimidate me so much?

“Fine, be that way. Just so you know, I bought cookies for us, but now I'm not gonna share!”

“Oh really?” He hummed, leaning up to rest his forearms on the counter.

Scoffing, I stepped forward to face him from the other side of the island and grabbed onto the edge of the countertop. My upper half was angled towards him so that I could talk more directly to him.

“Really, really.” I purred, not realizing my voice would sound so erotic. Instead of backtracking, I just ran with it. Harry’s pupils expanded much like a feline’s when they’re hunting their prey.

But he just sat there smirking at me. My pleasant mood wasn’t to be ruined by his teasing. I wasn’t going to allow it. I could play, too, Styles.

“What kind of cookies did you get us, hm?” His low, British drawl sent chills down my back.

“Oreos.” I didn’t sink into that ‘subspace’ as they call it. Not yet.

Harry basically moaned a hum out in approval. I swallowed, still combating my natural instinct to surrender like a desperate little puppy. This was getting more difficult.

“You know those are my favorite, don’t you?”

I blinked. “Uh huh.”

“I bet you got’em just f’me…you weren’t gettin’ them for us...” He paused for a moment. “…were you, sweet girl?”

“I…maybe…” I squeaked, earning Harry’s immediate amusement.

“I’m gonna take a guess at something real quick, a‘right, doll?”

“Ok…” He was so close to me. I was just thankful I’d been chewing gum at the time…

“Are you ovulating right now? Is that why you’re being so doting and domestic?”

My face fell.

“Wha—Excuse me?!” I stepped back from the counter and put my hands on my hips. What kind of guessing game was that?! Who even asks that?!

In the most annoying way, Harry stood up from his stool and copied my stance. He was using far too much sass and flamboyance to be accurate, though. I did not look like that…

“Oh, don’t you give me that look, sweetheart.” Harry chuckled, walking over to me. He then reached his long index finger up to *boop* the tip of my nose. I huffed in response. The breaking point was nearing closer with every word he’d spoken. But submission was not an option.

I knew that he knew. He had to have known. He must have caught onto my shyness, saw how much he made me blush, sensed how bratty I’d become whenever he teased me. I was putty in his hands.

“Awe, You’re cute…” He mumbled under his breath. His hand rose to my shoulder and he twirled a lock of my hair around his finger.

I was furious. It was obvious he was just trying to rile me up. That’s all this was…reaction bait.

“Harry…—”

“—I’m just sayin’, one might think you were trying to sweet talk me into letting you milk me dry and put a baby in ya. I’m sure you’re just as fertile as you look, aren’t you, babe?” He grinned and drummed his rings back against the marble counter, now leaning back all cockily.

There it was again—that smug little smirk on his stupid, perfect, dimpled face. What did he mean by, “as fertile as I look?!” God, a woman can’t be mean or nice without a man having some bullshit to say about it. Whatever. I told myself at that moment that the next man who dared to comment on my missing smile would be a dead one.

I gave him a dirty look and hustled my ass up the stairs to my room. Thankfully, I was finished putting all the groceries away. There was no reason for me to stick around playing this silly game with Harry. As I was making my way up, he called out to me, “I may have a high sperm count, but I’m not quite ready to be a daddy, yet, love!”

“Shut up!” I groaned and slammed my door shut. I think I could still hear him snickering to himself downstairs. Such a dick. Also, how the hell did he know I was ovulating..?! Ugh!

Oh, and Harry wasn’t even finished with his jokes yet, because he’d leapt up the steps in long strides and knocked on my door…just 5 minutes later. I opened it, having then changed into a crop top and pajama shorts in the meantime. Not only was my round ass falling out of the shorts, but my heavy, unsupported tits were also threatening to peak out from the bottom hem of my shirt.

Typically, I wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing that kind of getup in front of anyone. However, I thought I looked deliciously thick and absolutely, downright-fuckable that night. Of course I’d been aware of this, as well. And so I used my innate feminine sexuality to my advantage. As soon as I opened the door, Harry’s eyes (unsurprisingly) flickered back and forth between my chest and my face. How classy… I took the liberty of folding my arms together in front of me to feign some modesty.

Looking back on it now, I definitely watched a similar scene in porn...

He just stood there at my door, all of a sudden at a loss for words. I wish that silence would have lasted longer. It took only a few seconds before he was flashing me his signature dimpled smirk again. He then mirrored my body language and leaned his shoulder against the doorframe.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” He teased, plucking at the hem of the shirt sleeve that hung loosely past my shoulder.

My back straightened up, an attempt at asserting a smidge of self-confidence amidst my pink cheeks and pounding pulse.

“What do you want, Harry?” I tried to act annoyed, but I think I sounded too timid…and to be honest, the idea of Harry filling me up with his cum had caused my panties to dampen significantly. They were surely leaking through my shorts, but fortunately my thighs were meaty enough to hide it.

“Hmm…No bra? Tha’s interesting…” I could tell he lowered his canter when he said that, but I still heard him.

“Gross, you pervert.” I spat, squeezing my arms closer against my chest.

“Ay, hold on, little miss sunshine. What’s with the bratty attitude, huh?”

“Shut up, mister big loads. Go impregnate a sock.” My expressive irritability only further inflated his ego.

“Hmm, I’ve gotta say, tha’s tempting, but…I wouldn’t wanna make you jealous.” I wanted to scream.

“Ugh! Get out of my room!” I pushed at the door, but Harry held it open with his hand—and there was no way I could win against him in that impossible match of strength.

“First of all, I’m not in your room.”

I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing.

“Second,” he held his finger up. “Would you like f’me to order us some dinner?”

I huffed. “What I’d like is for you to leave.”

He shook his head and tsk’d in response. “Mm-mm, tha’s not what I asked.”

My teeth clenched at his audacious snark.

“I don’t care, Harry.”

His rings then tapped awkwardly against the smooth wood.

“Ah…” he sighed with his head bowed. “…Look, I’m sorry. I was just tryin’ to mess with you...I didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed…”

Even though I couldn’t stand him, I’d begun to feel my heart soften at his puppy-eyed expression. Why did he have to be so irritating and so adorable at the same time?! Just choose one!

Hmph…whatever.

“…Well, I know you’re hungry…I’ll pay…?”

I sighed and chewed at my lip. I was starving…

His boyish apology was reluctantly accepted, but I made a point out of picking something expensive. He could afford it.

We ate and watched a movie on the couch together. To my surprise, there were no more stupid comments coming out of his mouth for the rest of the evening. Impressive. I noticed his eyes turned basically black. It wasnt like we had all the lights off; plus, it was August—the sun didn’t set completely until 9pm. I felt those pupils following me.

It was apparent that Harry found me attractive. That night he certainly did. Or maybe he was just high? Either way, after he’d pointed out my lack of undergarments, I decided to brush him off as simply horny. At least that was the best explanation I could come up with for all the sneaky eye-fucking. There was no way I could’ve convinced myself he was actually giving me that kind of attention consciously…

After we’d finished eating, he went out of his way to fetch me a blanket(our good one, no less) and then proceeded to drape it around my back and shoulders, tucking me in as if he’d done it a million times before. Look who’s the doting one now, Styles!

I also remember how he basically bolted for the bathroom and took a shower as the film wrapped up with the end credits…Ok, ok…so, I may have purposefully bent over in those shorts while cleaning up the coffee table…but surely he just had a long day and was desperate for a hot shower…Surely.]

It’s safe to say that I toned down the ‘domestic’ part of me from that point on. Even though Harry just likes to get my goat, I still wanted to make it more difficult for him to have a reason to tease me. The night when our door to the garage swung open, his voice echoed through the house with such vigor that it sent yucky chills down my spine. Oh, the irony...

“Well, shit—Mitch wasn’t kiddin’ ‘bout y’laugh being loud as’ell! ‘Could hear ya from the driveway!”

This man survived off of my agitation, I swear. I shifted in my seat to face him and my eyes narrowed at the sight of his stupid, cocky face. I’ve always felt embarrassed about my somewhat-loud, slightly obnoxious laugh—and the thought that it’s been a main point of discussion between Harry and Mitch (and who knows who else) stung even worse.

It’s fine. Don’t listen to him. Don’t react. Just…breathe…

“Hi, Harry.” My intonation was as unimpressed as I could make it sound. He of course snorted at my brattiness, slipping his shoes off and tossing his wallet and keys onto the kitchen counter before taking long-legged strides in my direction.

“Good evening, doll.”

I huffed and waved my hand half-assedly. Something that drove me mad was how he was fiercely antagonistic towards me, and he insisted upon giving me little pet names. I knew he was just teasing me. That’s why I made sure to always swallow my bashful giggles whenever he said them. My subby-ness was not to be easily accessible anymore.

“So, what’s this, hm? Grown tired of hiding from me all the time?” He casually gestured to me with his flat, open palm.

I exhaled through my nose in aggravation as he plopped abruptly down onto the couch—his arm propped up next to him and one leg resting on the opposite knee. His draping arm was stretched out towards me. I refused to take part in Harry’s game at that time, and so I returned his question with silence. But it didn’t even matter because he could tell I was holding my anger in.

“Oh, I get it. It’s some sort of opposite day or summat.”

He stretched his fingers closer to where my head was resting on the back of the couch. They wrapped themselves around a smooth lock of my hair and twirled it continuously. This man thought it was absolutely hilarious to get even the faintest reaction out of me. Harry was generally the ‘touchy’ type of person when he’s around those he’s comfortable with. It made me feel special whenever he went out of his way to be affectionate towards me because…well, I had a crush on him for a while. And so, at first, I naively understood those soft touches as hints for his deeper feelings. At least that’s how I perceived things privately. But the more time I’d spent living with him, the more I had to come to terms with the fact that he was out of my league, and that he probably only viewed me as a little sister. My mind convinced me that Harry just enjoyed taking advantage of my innate submissiveness. He would never be attracted to someone like me. In order to protect my heart from the shattering effects of rejection, I chose to play into the little sister dynamic and behave as though Harry Styles was just a stupid fucking boy, and nothing more.

My behavior shift from the bashful sweetheart to the indifferent recluse somehow drew him closer to me anyway. I was so fucking pissed. I was sick of his games! Most of all, I hated Harry Styles. I hated him, and I hated his wandering hands, and his cockiness, and his giant ego.

My hair is not a toy, and I am not a doll reserved for Harry’s cruel amusement. And yet I kept living with all these antics because I…

…Because I liked his attention…honestly, I loved his attention. I’ll admit it! There was no way he could ever find that out, though!

That night when he (once again) twisted a piece of my hair around his long fingers, I pretended it didn’t make my heart flutter. My face stayed emotionless. It had truly been an award-winning performance by yours truly. To an outsider, this scene would’ve looked as if Harry and I were a bickering couple. They’d probably assume I was just a crabby girlfriend punishing her partner with the silent treatment. To be honest, that’s what it felt like for a second before I caught myself leaning into his gentle contact. I smacked his hand away from my hair and he just smiled at me.

Ugh!

He smiled at me, and then he poked my cheek with his index finger. I swear to God, my skin was on fire.

“So what’s next on the opposite day schedule? ‘You gonna go for a run?” Harry snickered and let out an amused sigh. “That would be the shock of the century, wouldn’t it?!”

He kept laughing at his juvenile dig. I let out a weak scoff, unable to swallow my pride that time. The air in the room was stale. Harry faced the television screen and sunk further back into the cushions. I sat there in mopey silence.

So I live a sedentary lifestyle, so what? And yes, I’m overweight—I’ve been struggling with my body my entire life, so there’s no need for anyone to give me a reminder. Regardless of the obvious and regardless of Harry’s ‘opposite day’ joke, I wasn’t in the right mindset to just brush it off…not that night. Starting a fight wasn’t the route I wanted to take either. I was exhausted. A retreat into solitude felt like my best option.

But, God…why did he have to fucking say that?

My bottom lip quivered and I was unable to blink back the tears for a moment longer. Every last ounce of patience I had left was dried up at this point. My long hair shielded my face whilst I bowed and dabbed my dripping eyelashes with my sleeves. Noticing the lack of verbal retort from me, Harry turned his head back in my direction. His breath hitched in his throat and his sage irises washed over to stormy blue.

“Oh, shit…” he muttered.

I sniffled and got up from the couch, making a beeline for the privacy of my bedroom. He never meant to make me cry. It was obvious Harry was just poking fun at me, but words can still hurt regardless of the speaker’s intent. It was too late for him to consider that now. Harry quickly jumped in front of me. He leapt into action so fast that I was physically startled back against my bare heels.

“What the fuck, Harry? Move!” I whined frustratedly at the man as he stood there with similarly glossy eyes.

Then he reached out and held my shoulders in his strong hands. His thumbs did that rubbing thing that most people only do when comforting their loved ones. Back then, I wished so badly that the simple gesture hadn’t sent such soothing goosebumps down my arms. It was so infuriating how this man held that kind of power over me.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, love. Please don’t cry. I—”

I gritted my teeth at his pity.

“—why? Are my big, fat tears too loud?! Or are you worried I’m so huge that I’ll get stuck, and my arms and legs will burst out of the fucking house?!”

Harry’s brows furrowed at my imagery. “Uh, wait—are you trying to reference…Alice in Wonderland—”

“—ALSO! Last time I checked, YOU were the one who ate all the cookies last night—YOU and your RABBIT TEETH fucking decimated my Oreos! So why don’t you go for a fucking run!”

Harry seemed amused with that one. His stupid dimples popped out at me and I was fed up.

“Get out of my way!”

I pushed against his chest, but he stood firmly on the carpet in front of the stairs. I remember fighting my urge to stomp my feet like a toddler. He wasn’t letting me retreat. He wouldn’t get out of my fucking FACE!

“I know you want to yell at me, so do it.”

“No, I don’t want to yell at you! I want you to move so I can go to my room!”

“Cmon, love. Talk to me…Give me all y’got. I know you have it in ya.”

“MOVE!”

Then he laughed. Why? Because I actually stomped my fucking foot—just like how I’d previously forbade myself to. And I’m sure the performance was quite entertaining for him.

“Don’t you throw a tantrum on me, sweet girl. Use your words!”

“You’re such a fucking smartass.”

“Oi, don’t talk about my ass like that! I’ll have you know, it’s quite dumb!” He grinned.

Un-fucking-believable. I can’t believe that got me to crack a smile. Harry instantly mirrored my surrendering, his hands drifting down from my shoulders to my elbows. My arms were crossed over my chest, but he wiggled them loose.

“YES! There’s that pretty smile…”

I huffed and groaned, feeling like a total child.

“…Don’t you be teasing me for my teeth—Y’look like a bunny just like me, babe.”

I giggled and playfully shoved his chest. “I do not!”

“Uh-huh! You definitely do!”

My hand rose up to cover my mouth and Harry just laughed at me. Lowering himself closer to my height, he *booped* my nose which caused me to scrunch it up in response.

“Aww, you are just a lil’ bunny, aren’t you?”

I squirmed and whined, annoyed as all hell with his patronizing.

“Don’t you start stomping your feet again, sweet Bunny. You’re better than that!”

I couldn’t help myself from just letting my guard all the way down at that moment. Inhaling deeply, I circled my arms around Harry’s middle and buried my face against his chest.

“Sorry…I just want us to get along, H.” My small voice was muffled against his shirt.

Harry frowned and wrapped his arms around me, reciprocating my surrendering embrace. My ear was pressed against his chest. There was a strong beat beyond his hard surface–my head pulsed with each fierce thump. That was the closest we’d ever been to each other. One of his hands slid up to my hair and combed through it.

“I do, too…I’m sorry.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sharing a house was less expensive for both of us 20-somethings, and rent has thankfully stayed reasonable and affordable since we two moved in a couple of years ago. I’m happy in my living space with my roommate. It’s a platonic situation between me and Harry—regardless of what family and friends want to believe. And I doubt it will ever venture beyond friendship any time soon. It can’t. Things are perfect right now…exactly the way they are. I keep my little fantasies to myself within the privacy of my bedroom. Harry can never know.

I’ve been single for a while. It’s possible that my holes are the tightest they’ve ever been, and that it might feel like I’m losing my virginity again whenever I do get some dick. So what, sometimes I think about what would happen if I just accidentally sent a racy photo to Harry…

…Whether he’d keep it and pretend he never saw it (as a way to be gentlemanly)…if he’d be disgusted and laugh at my body…or if he’d turn feral like I hope he would, bursting through my bedroom door and finally taking all that I’ve unconsciously reserved for him…

Don’t fret, my pet — smut will come in part 2 😈

Writer’s Notes: Hi, everyone🥰 Phew…well, there she is! Part 1! Thought I’d celebrate my birthday today by posting my first H piece💕 I’ll start off by saying…I’m kind of an obsessive perfectionist when it comes to my writing…so I won’t be super speedy when posting updates on my work, as I really want to be certain that I’m posting exactly what I want you to read. I know that other content creators on here are excellent at keeping a quick, reliable posting schedule—and I will be trying my best to do the same(I hope to make it in the same ballpark as them, at least). However, please be patient with me💕🙏🏻 💕 I have devoted a lot of time, love, and creativity into my work just so that I can share it online with strangers for free. I greatly appreciate any and all support, suggestions, criticism, questions, etc., so please don’t hesitate to comment or send me messages/asks. (Anons are welcome!) I’ve been working on this piece for a while now and I’d really like to get your feedback on it. If you would like to be tagged in future updates/parts, please let me know!!!👏🏻💗👏🏻🩷👏🏻💖 👏🏻

xoxo ~ Regan 😘💕

@victoria-styles @harrystylessmuttyfics @therealhousewifeofharrystyles

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kwritingbooks · 2 years

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cowritten by me & @shroombloomm

read on wattpad or tumblr masterlist

Aurora has a lot to think about while Harry is gone, but just because he's gone now doesn't mean he won't be back soon. Which also means that she can't hide away from the issues at hand forever, especially when that familiar knock on the door rings out. But maybe it won't be as bad as she keeps telling herself...

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

AURORA'S POV

It would be a lie to say the last few days were easy, or that I was able to pretend it didn't happen. The truth was, while some of it was foggy, not enough of it was for that to happen. None of the parts that I would have preferred to forget were misplaced in memory at all. Not the look on Harry's face when I saw him over Brandon's shoulder, not the aggravation from Nina, and not the touches I allowed Brandon in the first place either.

I didn't even know why I did it. Or why I allowed it to keep going. The regret had yet to fully subside even afterwards. It also didn't help that Nina had given me her version of silent treatment the night of. She didn't say much to me unless she needed to, but there wasn't much she needed to say besides helping me get to bed. I was pretty sure I had even started crying at one point, mumbling about how I fucked things up between everyone and how stupid I was to go to the party.

Nina just shushed me to sleep, saying that we would talk about it in the morning when I had sobered up. Which we did. She seemed more put together then and less annoyed with me, too. As long as she wasn't holding a grudge over me, that was all that mattered in the moment. She never was upset for long, which I was eternally grateful for. Sometimes I didn't fully deserve it, but that never seemed to matter.

I even remembered instinctively reaching for my phone once I woke up more, hoping to see a message from Harry. Some kind of acknowledgement had to have been better than nothing. Until I remembered that he had left for the next few days back to his planet. I tried not to think about what he could possibly be thinking, but he was probably too preoccupied with his star duties anyway– whatever that meant.

Instead, the only messages I received were texts that I had the least amount of energy to deal with. They were from Brandon from last night, rambling different cursing variations slewn together from his obvious drunken state. It was hard to piece together completely what he was trying to say, but it was obvious that he was angry that I got up and left him for Harry. Actually, most of the insults were directed towards Harry, messily explaining how Harry would never give me what I needed whereas he could. Most involved the size of his dick.

That was probably the first time I had truly laughed since that night. The blocked and deleted buttons had never been so easy to press.

She had breakfast cooking, but she said I had to get out of bed to get it. It took awhile to muster up the energy over the hangover, but I think that was part of the punishment, whether on purpose or not.

Regardless, once I did get up, I didn't eat much. The blaring headache in my skull was too powerful to focus on anything else besides fighting the urge to vomit all over the countertops. That was how I ended up spending the majority of the rest of the day. While she ran errands, I tried my best to sleep it all away. I wrote off the sunken feeling I felt in my chest as another inevitable symptom of binge drinking, but when I woke up the next day sober, I realized that that wasn't at fault of the alcohol at all.

I knew I should've used the time I had proactively. I also knew that my door was supposed to be fixed yesterday and that it was safe to go back, but it was as if I physically couldn't. Astro barking to go outside for a walk was the only reason that I found myself leaving the house on my own accord.

That was how I spent most of my time while I was at Nina's. It started off being sick with a hangover and meddled with a slip of depression in the midst. I think Nina had definitely noticed, because she was kinder than her already normally-kind self was. She made sure I still woke up for classes, ate beforehand, and was clean enough to go out in public. If it was anyone else besides Nina, I would've gotten annoyed– yelling that they're not my mom, but there was no way I could be annoyed by her. She was just trying to help, and if it wasn't for her help I would've stayed in my stumper for that entire time.

It did eventually get better, and luckily that feeling didn't completely devastate me for too long. Though, it was still hard to fight against the feeling that I hadn't truly messed up everything. Mistakes were bound to happen for anyone, and hopefully Harry would understand that. We were just friends after all.

I was still nervous about him coming back to Earth today, though. I had spent most of the morning going over what I would say when I first saw him. I didn't know there were so many ways to apologize until that moment– swearing none of them felt right. Nina reminded me that I was thinking too hard about it and that I was beating myself too much over it.

"Just say what feels right, don't force anything else." She had said as she came around the corner in the kitchen. She must have heard me talking to myself, whispering "sorry" in one too many different ways.

"I think he'll understand. Just be honest." She continued after I didn't say anything. She could probably tell that she had taken me by surprise. I was too absorbed in the pancakes and eggs that I was cooking that I didn't realize she had woken up.

The smell of which only seemed to riddle me with more guilt, reminding me of earlier in the week when Harry had done the same for me. Maybe that was why I went for that option out of instinct, it felt like the perfect reciprocation for him to come back to his second home with. I even added blueberries inside for the special touch.

I turned my head behind me, giving her a faint smile as she ventured to my other side. She peered down at the pan, taking a small whiff of the batter cooking in front of us.

"Smells good." She paused as she made her way towards the coffee maker, pouring herself a cup. "Could this have anything to do with a certain someone coming back home today?"

I didn't have to look at her to know that she was smirking. I had to fight against my own as I flipped another one of the pancakes in the pan.

"Or..." I trailed off, trying to wipe off the guilty look on my face. "Maybe I'm just hungry."

She snorted. "Sure, right, of course."

"Why did you say it like that?" I sat my mug down onto the counter to face her with a hand on my hip. "It's just Harry."

"It's just Harry." She mocked me teasingly behind her cup of coffee before taking a slow sip of it. I rolled my eyes at her, turning my body to face away. I tried to hide the smile that carved deep into my cheeks, but it was hard not to.

It was just Harry. That was all.

Just Harry.

"Anyways, he should be stopping by here soon I think." I stirred the spoon into my coffee cup, pursing my lips to the side as I got lost into my own thoughts.

I suppose I was a bit scared to see him. Nina always had a gift for seeing right through me. I just hated that she would say it out loud. I didn't think I had even said it out loud to myself, even when I was left alone without any other eyes on me.

Saying things out loud made it real, and that was what scared me. I wanted to stay in my bliss of ignorance for just a bit longer. Bathe in my own delusions of what I had made for myself on the inside. I didn't have to say anything out loud. Not if I didn't want to. And I did not want to.

"Aurora, if you make this awkward, I swear to fuck I am leaving your ass here." Nina said as she pushed past me on purpose. It was a soft nudge to the shoulder, but I knew what she was trying to say through the gesture.

"I am not going to make it awkward!" I half whined. I didn't even notice my hands going over my face when I had said it. I didn't mean to make things awkward, but I guess I did have that tendency sometimes. Especially when I was nervous.

"You better not, because like I said, I will leave." She teased. "If it's one thing you're good at, it's making everything awkward. Just talk to him like nothing happened. It's not that hard, Aurora."

"You say that, but–" I went to defend myself, but the knock on the door had quickly grabbed my attention. I felt my body go stiff, not even noticing the way my hands were now death-gripping the hot cup of coffee that I held.

"Mm, speaking of the devil." Nina nodded towards the door with a teasing smile on her lips. I squinted my eyes at her as she made her way towards the door. I truly didn't feel as nervous earlier as I did right now, which I didn't even know was possible.

There was a turning feeling in my stomach. I didn't think that seeing Harry right now was going to make me react this way, but I also just didn't think I was ready for it this soon. I didn't know what to say to him. Not yet.

I sunk into the deepest parts of the kitchen that was away from the front door. I wasn't hiding. I was just...cooking. Exactly. I was just cooking. That was all.

I sat my coffee down onto the counter as I grabbed the bowl of batter, quickly pouring some into the hot pan that Nina had on the eye. Noises from the door opening made my stomach twist uncomfortably, and then I heard him, only contorting it further.

"Hey, Nina. Aurora's still here, right?" His voice floated through the apartment as Nina closed the door from behind her.

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen." Nina perked up with a cheery tone. I pinched my eyes shut tightly, placing a hand on my forehead as I tried to collect myself.

They were having small talk, and that was fine. It bought me more time to regain my composure, which I was more than happy for. It was when I heard his footsteps coming towards the kitchen that I started to feel my tensions rise again. I immediately started to busy myself around the area, trying to make it look like I didn't even know he was there as if I wasn't just eavesdropping on the conversation they were having.

I settled on standing in front of the oven with a spatula in my hand while I flipped the pancakes that were burning in the pan. My chest was caving in while my breathing was staggering as I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see Harry standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

It really didn't matter how much I had seen of him, he still knew how to knock the breath out of me any time he was around. He had a loose, white, and washed out Rolling Stones shirt on with blue jeans that ripped at the knees. That was all I could see from the small glance I had given him. It was all I could bear.

"Hi." His voice was laced with nervousness. I could tell that much. It almost lifted a bit of weight off of me to know that I wasn't the only one that was uncomfortable, but he didn't know that.

I felt like the minute I said something, my voice was going to give everything away regardless, though. In order not to let the silence linger any more than it already had, I finally spoke up.

"Hey." I echoed out with my head crooked over my shoulder in his direction. I caught a brief glimpse of him before I brought my gaze back to the food that was almost finished cooking. I was on my last one, which also meant that I wouldn't have any more excuses to keep my focus laying anywhere else but the people around me.

He was leaning against the doorframe and I couldn't tell if he had a look of confusion or concern wrapped in his features just from the small glance that I had gotten. The unknowing of what was going through his mind was the most nerve-wracking of all. In reality, I knew I was probably blowing it slightly out of proportion, but it didn't help settle my mind any more with that knowledge anyway.

I placed the last blueberry pancake onto the platter, stacking high with steam creeping off of the cakes. Just as I twisted the knob of the stove off, I heard his steps behind me start to move closer. For a moment, I considered cooking more just so I didn't have to turn around and face him. Even though it had already been a few days since, the embarrassment from that night was still just as overwhelming. At least beforehand I didn't have to face Harry about it, I could just ignore it and let it eventually pass until it came up again.

But there was no ignoring it when it was directly behind me.

"Everything okay?" Harry questioned quietly, sounding slightly unsure about his own feelings himself. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him now leaning against the counter to my right. He was using his elbow to prop himself up as he gazed at me.

I flashed a meek smile at him, gathering all the dishes and placing them in the sink between us. "Yeah, I'm good."

He wrinkled his eyes at me as he surveyed what I was doing. I could tell he was attempting to figure out what I was thinking but was getting slightly frustrated when he couldn't pinpoint what it was. I wasn't sure if it was because I was doing a good job at remaining neutral, or if it was the barrier between species that was helping me out. I was grateful either way.

"Harry!" I heard Nina exclaim as she re-entered the room. "I almost forgot– You're coming to the get-together later, right? It was supposed to be this big party at some dude's house, but plans changed a bit. Plans changing as in that guy is a dick and it'll be lame, so we made our own plans instead. It'll be fun!" She beamed.

I inhaled a deep breath as I continued to place everything to their designated spots. I pretended like I wasn't just as excited as Nina to hear what he was going to reply with. We had decided it was just going to be the four of us while Harry was gone, so we couldn't update him beforehand. I had to explain to her the same bullshit excuse as to why he wouldn't be able to answer his texts while he went to go see his parents. Luckily, she didn't pry too much on it and just accepted it.

"Oh, uh..." He stammered for a moment. "I had forgotten. Don't we have work to do and classes tomorrow?" His voice sounded unsteady for a second and I could tell that he had been taken off guard. I felt bad.

"It's nothing huge, I promise! We all don't have classes until later tomorrow anyways." Her voice raised an octave from excitement as she got in front of Harry, pouting her lip out. "C'mon, Harry! Pleaseee..."

I smiled to myself as I placed the last plate onto the table with the pancakes directly in the middle of all of them. Once finished, I leaned an arm against the table and watched the interaction between the two of them, giggling slightly to myself.

He still looked faintly uncomfortable as he searched his eyes around the room. Nina backed away with a small huff, looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I shifted, placing a hand onto my cheek as I looked away from the both of them.

Okay, maybe this was a little bit awkward.

"Okay, okay. Just think about it, okay? I've got to get to class, so I'll see you guys later." She flashed one last smile in Harry's direction before venturing in my direction. With a bare hand, she reached for the first pancake on the stack and winked at me.

"Stop being awkward and use that Aurora charm that works so well!" She whispered in my ear, concealing it with a hug. She mouthed one last "you got this" before taking a bite and turning on her heel out the door, giving Harry a pat on the back on the way.

The silence trickled back between us as we were now left alone again, but this time truly alone. I tapped my fingers against the dining room table for a moment as I thought. With a singular deep breath, I sat down in one of the seats.

"I made blueberry pancakes if you're hungry–" I stopped myself, wanting to kick myself in the foot after the realization that he doesn't get hungry. "Or if you just wanna try them, I guess."

"Blueberries?" He questioned with his brows knitted together. He peered over the table as he took a step closer. "What does it taste like?"

I smiled as he pulled the chair out for him to sit in. He didn't even wait to hear my explanation before slapping the biggest cake onto his plate. His head crooked at the shape, as if trying to understand how the berries got stuck inside of it.

"There's only one way to find out." I half-laughed. "They're good, I promise. They're not the poisonous kind of berries." A full laugh broke out that time, but dissipated when I saw the look of horror etched onto his face.

"There's poisonous berries?" His eyes widened as big as the moon and I thought that he was about to toss the plate away from him.

"No. Well, I mean, yes, there are poisonous berries but not the ones you buy in the store. Blueberries are sweet and they taste good. Try it." I nudged my head towards his plate for encouragement, but he still looked unsure. So, I took a bite of my own and he looked at me like he was waiting for me to fall over dead on the floor.

I swallowed, forking another bite onto the silverware. "See? Not dead."

His eyes softened as he stared back down, cutting his own slice and placing it into his mouth. For a few minutes, that was how we continued to exist amongst each other. Both of us were so preoccupied with the food that we didn't say anything. There was still a slight awkwardness in the air, but it had greatly subdued. I had almost forgotten what I was so worried about to begin with given how natural it felt to be around him again.

That was probably the reason why I had enough confidence to say the next thing that I did.

"I'm sorry, by the way." I strained to get the words out, convinced I would choke on my food if I wasn't careful. A swig of coffee helped coat my throat and soothe my nerves simultaneously.

"Sorry?" He repeated in a confused tone.

I stopped eating my food, trying to focus on what to say next. I was hoping I wouldn't have to explain what I was apologizing for and that it would be obvious, but that didn't look to be the case this morning.

"With the whole Brandon thing...at the bar...you know?" I mindlessly cut up the pancakes into smaller pieces, not picking any of it up into my fork. I had to stop myself from continuing as it would just become one big mushy mess if I didn't.

"Ah." He mentioned softly. Such a small word left such a weird hollowed out feeling in my stomach again. It was like he had forgotten and I was stupid enough to bring it back up for him to remember. Regardless, I knew I needed to apologize sooner than later. I was sorry after all. I didn't need to lie or pretend it never happened.

"I don't want you to think that's who I am. It's who I was, but I don't like that side of me. I blocked him and I don't want anything to do with him anymore, okay? He's not a good guy and I should've known better. I'm sorry you had to see any of that." My eyes looked along the table, suddenly interested in the table cloth fabric as I twisted it between my fingers.

"Okay. I believe you." He replied, quicker than I expected. The previous look of hurt was no longer on his face, it was now replaced with that familiar Starboy sparkle in his eyes that I had grown so much comfort in.

"Thank you, Harry." I grinned at him. The uneasiness had drifted away and so had the queasiness that had grown in my stomach. I forked away at the food again, looking up briefly towards Harry who was doing the same.

"You should come tonight, though. It'll be fun. You'll get to meet Nina's boyfriend, Ryan, too." I said as I piled the last bite into my mouth. I hummed lightly to myself, content with my now-full stomach.

"Is he nice?" He inquired aloud suspiciously. "Because most of the men I've met so far are not very nice."

I had to hold back the snort that I wanted to let out from his observations, but I couldn't help but feel a ping of guilt. Harry watched the way I surrounded myself around guys that weren't that nice of people. If he had realized that so quickly, and I wondered why I had let it happen over and over again.

"I don't know much about him either, but Nina really likes him and I want to give him a chance. You should, too." I said quietly, offering an innocent smile.

He twitched his lips together as he thought, swirling around the leftover pieces of pancake still on his plate. "Okay." He mustered out. "As long as he's nice to her."

I smiled. "I'll make sure he is. We both will, okay?"

His eyes glided back up to mine, this time with the first real smile I had seen since he came back. I felt an immediate wave of relief flood through my chest. "Okay."

"Perfect. It's settled then." I beamed, gathering our finished plates and putting them into the sink. The water rushed out, splashing slightly onto my shirt from the suddenness of it. It was a good thing I was still in my pajamas, completely unaffected by the mess.

The mood within the room had completely flipped from only an hour ago, and I now felt on top of the world. Not only did it end a lot better than I expected it to, but we were all going to go out and have a good time with just the four of us. There was a little bit of nervousness about Nina's new boyfriend, but like I told Harry, I wanted to give him a chance. Given how patient she had been with me recently, as well as in the past, it was the least I could do for her. Maybe he would be the one frat guy that I could stand to be around.

It took some convincing at first, but as Nina described it more, the more excited I actually got. There would be no entering of stranger's homes; it actually didn't involve anyone's home at all. We were going to drive out to a spot that Nina and I had camped out at a time or two awhile back, completely surrounded by trees and nature.

Which also reminded me that I was already behind on my one and only job for it: rolling the joints.

"Oh, shit." I cursed out, shutting the water off and spinning around out of the room. "I'll be right back, I forgot something." I shouted over my shoulder, already out of view.

I wasn't sure if Harry said anything back as I was too preoccupied with rummaging through my drawer where I stashed everything. Everything from glass pipes, to jars of different strains, to decorated lighters, to cherry wrapping papers were all neatly placed in their rightful places. I was usually the one in charge of rolling as Nina swore up and down that I did it best, but I wasn't wholly convinced that she just preferred not to do it. I never minded though, I enjoyed the act of rolling. It was calming in some way to be so focused on one task.

I scanned my eyes along the contents as I thought to myself on which to choose. I ended up deciding on Wedding Cake, the classic mellow strain that I always found myself reaching for. Even though I wasn't sure which one Harry would have preferred, I thought that would be the safest out of the choices regardless.

Quickly, I grabbed the jar with the papers and padded away back into the kitchen where Harry still sat. He hadn't moved besides placing his hands neatly onto the tabletop, and he smiled at me once I entered. His eyebrows seemed to dance together as he tried to focus on what was in my hands, and I opened my mouth to explain myself, but then promptly closed it. I found it slightly entertaining to see him gape at the objects that I had placed onto the table.

It was as if I wasn't even in the room as he continued to stare at the nuggets that I placed into the grinder, spinning the lid in order to crush it up. I peeked up at him every now and then as I reached around for each object, and he didn't meet my eyes once until I brought the cherry papers up to my lips.

All of a sudden, the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach reappeared as I swiped my tongue along the edge. I could feel his eyes on me even while I avoided them. It took everything in me not to close my eyes just to pretend he wasn't there– or to avoid my cheeks from blushing.

My thumbs threatened to shake as they carefully rolled the paper up, enclosing the weed inside of the material. For something I was typically so confident in, the feeling was suddenly dwindling with such eager eyes on me.

"What is that?" He finally spoke up, continuing his look of interest in his eyes. "It smells funny."

I giggled, placing one of the finished rolls onto a tray and began starting on the next one. "Weed, Harry. It's for the party tonight."

His head slightly fell back with a slight face of horror. "Weeds? Like the grass outside? That green stuff? I don't remember it smelling like that. What do you do with it?"

His rapid firing of questions reminded me of the Harry that I had first met, eager to know everything possible as soon as he could. Everything interested him and he wanted to know every single possible answer.

I chuckled again because of it. "No, not grass. It's a plant, but you smoke it. It makes you feel good, floaty almost." I peeked my eyes up at him as I began to lick at the next one. He no longer stared as intently at me as he once was, which helped ease the nervous feeling he had given me previously.

"I can already float, Aurora." He stated matter-of-factly with his arms crossed. "I don't need to smoke grass to float."

I snorted. "I suppose not, but you should try it at least once. I bet you'll like it." I smirked at him, putting up the rest of the contents that I had left over. After the nerves had settled, my previous work speed had gone back to normal and I had already rolled three joints perfectly by the time that he was inquiring about the weed.

"Will it feel like those good blue slushies from that one restaurant we went to?" His eyes began to glow with anticipation, practically bursting at the seams.

"No, not quite like that. It'll be more relaxing, like your whole body will feel it. Sensations will be stronger, too. You can watch us first to see if you want to try it." I reassured him. "Nina and I will make sure you're safe and comfortable regardless."

He nodded his head. "I think I'll try it. Maybe this type of floating won't be so exhausting."

I blew out a burst of air through my nose. "Hopefully not."

My attention turned towards the stove, reading out the time in glowing numbers. I didn't have a class until later, but I needed to stop by the planetarium beforehand so that I could get my supplies for the next presentation. Apparently the professor was so impressed by my first one that he wanted me to join him again for this week's showing. It hardly took me a second to reply with a quick acceptance.

"Do you want to come by the planetarium with me? I've gotta get some material from there and make sure there's nothing else that needs to be done before work tomorrow." I pushed my chair in, wiping my hands of any residue that had lingered against my fingertips. I mildly regretted doing this beforehand, not wanting to greet Professor Collins while smelling like weed.

Hopefully he wouldn't notice.

He nodded his head quickly again, scooting his seat in immediately as he grabbed for his bag and slung it over his shoulder promptly.

I chuckled lightly. "I gotta get dressed first. I'll be out in just a second and then we can go. I'll be quick, I promise."

It didn't take long to rummage through my closet. I slipped on an extra layer over my shirt, expecting the chilliness in the air to bite back with force. I did my best to try and dodge any mirrors, knowing I had to be quick, which meant I couldn't focus on my appearance. As long as I looked put together enough, that was all that mattered.

Luckily with the guidance and help of Nina, even my depressed stupor didn't affect my cleanliness too badly. I had even remembered to do my skincare routine earlier this morning before I got out of bed.

I almost tripped over my feet as I attempted to slip on my boots while I walked out of my bedroom door. After a couple of tries, I gave up and plopped myself on the floor while I laced them up correctly. I hadn't been this excited to leave the house since the whole bar situation. It was a nice change to the feelings I had been engulfed with since then. I liked this version of Aurora so much better.

"You ready?" I asked, slightly winded from the previous excursion I had put myself through in the hallway.

Harry turned around from Astro, who he was whispering to as he petted her back. She was wagging her tail vigorously, fighting to lick at his face as he knelt down to her.

"Let's go." He smiled, giving Astro one last pat on her head. He pointed in her direction. "Does she always slobber that much?" He sounded concerned.

"Only when she's excited...or thirsty." I offered with a shrug and a laugh. "Dogs can be kinda gross, I know."

His face twisted with a look of fascination mixed with disgust as we walked past her. Harry led the way, briefly looking over his shoulder in my direction.

"Quite peculiar they are."

The cool breeze greeted us as we left the apartment. This was just a reminder that summer was starting to slowly fade into fall. No more shorts and breezy shirts, or fun colors with sparkly makeup. It was going to be long sleeve shirts and pants from here on out.

I was a fan of the fall time, but summer was when I thrived the most. Specifically because it was a good time to see the stars, and it was more comfortable to lay outside at night and watch the constellations. I hated that the warmest of seasons seemed to go by so quickly, but it was something I surely couldn't control.

I wrapped myself up with my arms as my fingers slowly trailed up and down the goosebumps that the wind created on my skin. I wished I grabbed my thicker jacket, but I didn't expect the weather to change so drastically. It was hot yesterday, but then again, the weather never seemed to want to pick a side as they drifted into the new seasons.

"You cold?" Harry asked quietly from beside me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, a small chuckle came from me as I shrugged my shoulders and dropped my arms to my sides.

"Um, just a bit." The small talk was kind of weird. I was glad we had gotten everything out of the way, but I still felt a gnawing guilt feeling in the back of my mind. Harry seemed fine, and I suppose that was all that really mattered. I just wanted him to be okay.

We kept walking, the gray skies clouding over the city. I had somewhat hoped that the clouds would subside by tonight so we could still watch the stars. One of the reasons I mainly went to these things was so I could get high and just stargaze.

One could say it was cliché, but I was a walking cliché after all. Never claimed not to be. I knew that as well, and I was okay with it. I had long gotten over the need to be different from everyone else, that was a cliché in and of itself.

"The weather today–"

"Don't do that to me." I told him with a chuckle, shaking my head at him. "We are not about to talk about the weather."

"Does weather talk not interest you, Aurora?" His smile dipped into a half frown, and I immediately felt bad. I kept having to remind myself that he wasn't from here, and that he didn't get that talking about the weather could be weird filler conversations reserved for strangers.

"Um...It's just that, sometimes, it could be taken weirdly, you know?" I kicked at the pebbles on the ground as we approached the planetarium. "Usually it's just a way to fill awkward space between people who don't know each other. Friends don't have to do that."

"Oh, okay. I see." I could've believed him if he didn't swallow the rest of his words down. Some things just weren't meant to be said. In our case, it was best if we just left it alone as it was now.

Harry led the way into the planetarium, and I was grateful for a moment that he did, given that I was nearly holding my breath the entire walk there. I felt my shoulders relax as I entered the warm building, the heat hugging me like a weighted blanket.

I hated doing things so last minute sometimes. If I wouldn't have put off needing to pick up the papers for next week's speech then I could be doing other things right now. Such as staring blankly at the notes for the test I had coming up, but not soaking anything in due to how tired I was. Or I could have been napping.

Harry stood close behind me as I walked into the main room of the building. The lights were dimmed down, but they were still on. Usually this place was packed, but today we didn't have anything scheduled to show. It was weird seeing this place so empty– so quiet.

I wheeled around the chairs, rushing towards the desk that was all the way in the back of the room. That was where Professor Collins said that he would have left the papers for me. I didn't think he was going to be in today, but I also didn't want to check either. I just wanted to be in and out.

Out of the corner of my eye, Harry stood next to the row of chairs that was by the desk as his eyes scanned around the room. His fingers slowly fiddled with the rings that cladded his hands. It took me a second to put two and two together, but then I realized.

This was where he was attacked by the light guardian. The night that we had met up at the coffee shop, where his face had been bruised and bloodied.

I clutched the papers tightly into my hand, moving my gaze towards the desk as I placed them into my bag.

"Looks like you've seen a ghost, Harry." Professor Collins's voice echoed through the room.

I saw Harry slightly jump at the sound of his voice, his body quickly turning to see him standing there with a wide smile on his lips and his arms crossed against his chest. I gazed over the two of them, seeing how uncomfortable Harry was made me feel bad for him.

"Oh, just–" Harry cleared his throat, shifting onto his feet slowly. "I just always found this building creepy when it's empty."

"Hm." Professor Collins hummed, giving Harry a once over before turning his body towards me. "Find those papers I left for you, Aurora?"

"I did!" I tried to sound cheery, but the tension somehow became a lot thicker in the air, but this time due to the newfound awkwardness. I didn't think it was possible after the residual feelings that were still felt in the air between Harry and I, but Collins being in the same room had proved that it was. "Sorry I was so late grabbing them, but I'll make sure that I study them before next week."

"Not a problem at all." He reassured me with a small smile. "Just want to make sure that you're prepared. We will be going over some more information I have gathered about black holes. I know we really haven't gone over that much, so just make sure you study the notes."

"Black holes?" Harry took a step towards the professor with a big smile. "Did you know that the milky way has a black hole?"

"Probably." He corrected Harry, perking his brow up as his lip twitched in curiosity. "Scientists say that it probably has a black hole. No further studies have proven it, not quite yet."

"Oh." Harry bit back. The fact that Harry said it, made it ring true. He knew everything about the stars and space himself. I mean, he lived there, so why wouldn't he?

"You sure know a lot about that, don't you?" Collins shifted his gaze towards Harry. "How long have you been going to school here again?"

"Um... I just started this semester." He said quietly, taking a step back from him as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"And yet, you know so much." Collins pondered to himself quietly, but loud enough where we could hear it. "Was this something you always wanted to do? Study the stars?"

"I mean, yeah." Harry cleared his throat again, bringing two of his fingers to push on his lips as he switched his gaze back and forth between Collins and I. "My parents are really into that kind of stuff, so...I guess that's why."

"And where are your parents, Harry? It seems like I don't know much about you, though you've been working here for sometime now." Collins said as he glanced towards me out of the corner of his eye. It was almost like he was making sure I was watching him dig into Harry.

Harry rubbed the soft stubble on his cheek with a frown as he averted his gaze towards me. I knew this was starting to get more uncomfortable for him by the moment, so I had to say something to get him out of the hole that Collins was digging him into.

"We have to go." I said almost in shock as I checked the time on my phone. "Harry, you have that hair appointment in twenty minutes. I totally forgot about that."

Harry's eyes widened, his hand dropping down to his side as he looked at me in confusion. Collins faced me, tilting his head as he looked me over. I stood there with a small smile on my lips, a nervous laugh spilling from them.

"Hair appointment–?"

"Well, it was really nice seeing you, Jerry." I said as I collected my things from the desk, shoving them into the bag swiftly. "We really need to get Harry to that appointment, but we can definitely talk later."

"Right..." He cleared his throat, a smile spreading across his lips. I let out a small breath as I nodded towards him, my hands interlocking with Harry's as I started towards the door.

"Bye!" Harry waved back at him with his free hand, his dimples planted into his cheeks as he smiled. I dared not to look back as I continued to pull Harry out of the door.

I didn't have to ask Harry, I think he already knew that that interaction was really weird. Collins had always been a really nice guy ever since I met him. I couldn't wrap my head around why he would ask a million questions to Harry. He had to have known it was awkward in the way he was throwing them so quickly at him. I didn't recall ever having so many inquiries from him towards my life at once.

Harry's grip tightened around my hand as he pulled me towards him for comfort. My cheeks started to heat up as his thumb mindlessly ran over the back of my hand. For a moment, I wasn't sure if I should pull my hand from him or if I should just let it happen. I couldn't lie, it felt nice. I liked it.

That was until Harry had let go of my hand the minute I was closer to him. I pursed my lips to the side, crossing my arms over my chest as we continued to walk down the sidewalk back towards Nina's house.

"Sorry about that." I cleared my throat into my fist. "I don't know why he did that. That was..."

"I don't think I like people asking me questions." Harry said softly, a soft frown formed onto his lips. "I'm never sure what to say. I always feel like I'll say something I'm not supposed to."

"Let's just stay away from questions for right now." I breathed out. "Later I can help you figure out some answers to some of those questions, okay?"

"You would really do that for me?" Harry gazed towards me with a soft smile. I felt his hand rest on the top of my back. "Thanks, I really appreciate that."

"Of course." I nodded towards him. "Um... would you mind helping me pack up everything at Nina's and taking it back to my house? My landlord said they had fixed the door, so..."

"Can I walk Astro?" He said with an excited tone and a lopsided grin.

"Yes, you can walk Astro." I chuckled out.

"Then yes, I will." Harry clapped his hands together, shrugging his shoulders as he started to walk a bit faster. I watched as he excitedly blew past me, and I couldn't help but find it so cute.

Just the simplest things Harry found so exciting.

It made my heart flutter.

"Nina just texted me, they are outside waiting for us." I said as I clicked my phone off, sliding it into the back of my pocket.

I double checked through the bag, making sure I had everything for tonight. Waters, blankets, jackets, and snacks. The joints were in my purse and everything else was good to go.

"I'm a bit nervous, Aurora." Harry said from behind me, his fingers twisting his rings around slowly as he pursed his lips to the side. "After the last party we went to..."

"It's not gonna be like that party. It's just gonna be the four of us, nobody else. I promise." I tried to reassure him as I flung the bag over my shoulder. "Plus, Nina is a good judge of character. She wouldn't have Ryan around if he wasn't, right?"

"And you." He said, nudging my elbow with his. "Don't forget you."

I wanted to laugh, but I held it back. I wasn't really that interesting of a person, or good for that matter. Maybe it was just my anxiety talking, but I really didn't look at myself the way that Harry seemed to. He was much more forgiving to myself than even I was.

"Well, anyways." I cleared my throat as I headed towards the door. "Astro's fed for the night... Got everything in my bag..." I ran my hand over the fabric of it, squinting my eyes as I went through my mental list.

"You checked the bag twice now. I'm sure we have everything." Harry said as he nudged me out the door. "Now go. Shoo, shoo, out the door."

"Okay, okay." I chuckled as I locked the door from behind me. We left my apartment, seeing Ryan's truck that was parked right outside. I was glad I didn't have to walk far to meet him. Usually the streets were filled with cars, but luckily tonight it wasn't.

I packed the bag into the back before hopping into the truck. Harry came in after me, scooting into his seat before closing the door shut. It smelled like strong cologne in the truck, and when I looked over I saw a bottle that was sitting on the floorboard. It had been used so heavily that it was hard to read the label and identify the scent from where we sat.

"Harry! You came!" Nina clapped as she smiled wide back at him, her dimples prominent in her cheeks. Harry let out a nervous laugh, running a hand through his thick brown curls.

"Yeah..." He hummed. He sounded slightly unsure with his answer, but he did his best to match the excitement in Nina's tone.

Nina knew he was nervous, but we were going to try our best to make him feel more comfortable in our circle.

"Hey, what's up." Ryan's low, tangy voice came from him. My jaw nearly dropped to my lap when I heard his voice. It sounded so thick and deep. Looking at him, I didn't really expect him to sound like that.

Ryan was probably about the same height as Harry. He had dark brown hair that curled around the backside, but came outwards towards the front of his face. Brown eyes that were more golden than a deep brown.

He looked like he was meant to be with Nina from the way he looked. He just radiated Mr. Right for her. He had a very cool and relaxed demeanor about him.

"What do you go to school for, Harry?" Ryan looked in the rear view back at him as he drove off down the road.

"Uh, I major in science and astronomy." Harry nodded towards him, his fingers fiddling with the strings that frayed on his jeans. "What about you?"

"Computer Engineering." He said back. "It's boring to learn about, but it's fun to build computers."

"That's...awesome." Harry wasn't sure what to say. I chuckled at his response, shifting my weight in my seat.

"How old are you?" Ryan looked back at Harry in the mirror again. "You look young."

"Do I really?" Harry smiled cheekily as he looked down to study his body. "Well, I'm...twenty-one, so cheers. Thanks for that."

"I'm twenty-four." Ryan chuckled out at Harry's response. "You guys are practically babies."

"Hey! We are only a few years younger." Nina whined, nudging Ryan in the shoulder.

"Is twenty-four old?" Harry had leaned closely over towards me as he whispered into my ear. I let out a chuckle, glancing over to him.

"No, it's not." I whispered back to him, patting his hand softly.

"Oh..." His lip twitched up into a smile, turning his body towards Ryan again.

The place we were going to was out in the middle of nowhere, but thankfully it was only a thirty to forty-five minute drive. Harry kept staring out the window, and I could tell he was nervous from his leg lightly bouncing.

I was nervous too, honestly.

Ryan talked a lot about how he and his frat friends had parties a lot and that we should come with him. Instinctively, I had rolled my eyes at him without him seeing.

It was so weird to think about Nina dating a frat boy. He definitely had the qualities to show it by his tank that had slits down the side, paired with skinny jeans that were so tight you could basically see his dick imprinted in them.

Oh, and the backwards baseball cap was a dead giveaway.

Even with that, though, the way he talked about things so passionately made me think twice about him. When I would think about frat guys, I would mostly think about, well... dumb guys that did dumb shit and got drunk a lot.

Besides him getting drunk a lot, I had to give it to him that he was incredibly smart. Maybe there was more to him after all.

We finally pulled up to the large field. Ryan took the gravel road that led out towards the field, but then he took an unexpected hard right to drive straight into it.

Harry's brows furrowed together tightly, his fingers gripping his seatbelt as he scanned around the area from all the windows before looking at me with a curious look.

"It's okay." I whispered as I unbuckled my seat once we came to a stop.

He gave me a nervous smile as he also clicked his seatbelt off of him.

"I'll let the bed of the truck down." Ryan said as he turned the car off and then got out.

"I'm gonna help him." Nina said with a smile as she leaned back to grab the big luggage full of pillows that we had packed.

"Try not to shove your tongue down his throat by the time we get out." I chuckled, watching her face get bashful.

She left the car with a roll of the eye and a scoff, but a sly smirk spread across her face that told me she was definitely gonna have her tongue down his throat when we got out.

Harry scooted himself closer to the door, his body pressed against it as he stared out the window. Part of me felt a little bad only because I knew he was anxious to be around other people right now.

"We're gonna be stargazing." I told him softly as I scooted towards him. "Ryan seems to like you."

"Ryan is okay." He replied with his attention elsewhere, but I could tell he really meant it. Ryan did seem just okay. So far.

"C'mon, let's go outside so we can get in the bed of the truck." I nudged him softly with a smile.

He cracked a small smile back at me before opening the door. We got out of the car, and I had imagined it to be a bit colder, but it was just the right temperature. It wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold.

We walked to the back of the car, and my eyes lit up at the sight of how comfy the bed had looked. Nina had laid down five thick blankets, with pillows scattered around for us to use if we wanted to lay down.

It was perfect.

I climbed up first, taking a spot next to Nina. Harry sat next to Ryan.

"This is so cute." I pouted, tilting my head towards the sky. "And the stars are really out tonight too."

"Tonight is gonna be so much fun." Nina chuckled as she nudged my arm. "Ryan brought some shots. Do you guys want one?"

"Yeah, they're uh... pineapple flavor." He said as he showed the small shots. They were in small clear bottles with the liquid sloshing inside.

"Sure, thank you, Ryan." I smiled as I took two from him. I glanced towards Harry out of the corner of my eye that was staring directly at the sky. He wasn't even zoning in on what was happening around him.

"Hey, Starboy!" Nina used her foot to tap Harry's thigh, a wide smile on her lips. "You want one?"

Harry looked towards Nina with a bit of a jolt, as if he wasn't expecting to come in contact with someone else. He squinted his eyes at the small bottle, then looked towards me.

I held out the second shot in my hand, a reassuring smile on my lips. "You don't have to take it. It's like the blue drink."

"Blue drink—Ah, yes." Harry chuckled nervously as he leaned forward to take it from my fingers. He examined the bottle, tilting his head side to side. "I think I will. Thank you, Ryan." He said quietly towards him as he tilted the shot towards him.

We all took the caps off of the bottle, holding it up in the air with a smile. Harry watched in curiosity, slowly raising his glass with the rest of ours.

"Cheers!" Nina chuckled.

"Cheers!" I smiled.

"Cheers." Harry repeated more shyly.

We all took the shot at the same time. Harry, though, had fallen behind. He was having a small problem with taking it all in one go and instead going with a sip.

He let out a cough, covering his mouth with his arm as he tried so desperately not to spill the shot on the blankets.

"Not a tequila man, huh?" Ryan chuckled as he hit Harry's back with a loud pop. His eyes widened, letting out another cough before shaking his head.

"It went down the wrong way, I think. Doesn't really taste the same as the blue one either." Harry cleared his throat, sending me a silly smile as he looked down at the drink once more.

"You don't have to—"

Before I could even finish my sentence, Harry took the drink and chugged it all the way down. His face scrunched as he did so, and his ring cladded fingers gripped at his jeans tightly.

"God damn, Harry." Nina laughed out. "You want another one?"

Harry shook his head with a sour look on his face as he placed the bottle to the side, waving his hand in front of his face.

"No, I think that's quite alright." He said thickly. "Maybe, uh... Later."

Watching Harry struggle with the shot was so pitiful, but I couldn't help but laugh anyways. It was funny the way he wasn't used to alcohol and the way his face twisted with the burning feeling that it left in his throat.

"We need some music!" Nina stood on the bed of the truck, placing a hand onto the roof of it before jumping over the ledge to the grass.

"Please don't turn on that electronic stuff. It gives me a headache." I begged as I watched her crawl into the driver's seat of the truck. Suddenly the music started to flow through the truck, and it got louder as she turned it up.

It wasn't too loud but just loud enough for us to hear it.

Sounds of guitars started to strum its way through the air, causing my body to start to relax more. I was thankful that Nina turned on something that we all liked. Usually she listened to really noisy music that was just too much for my brain to handle.

"Don't be a hater, Aurora." Nina pouted as she climbed over the ledge, pulling herself back onto the blankets. "You just haven't been to a rave yet, that's your problem. You should come with me sometime."

"I would rather eat rusty nails for breakfast." I teased her, crossing my arms over my chest. "Raves are not my kind of scene. You know that."

"But they could be!" She raised her arms in defense. "Don't knock it 'til you try it!"

"Babe, did you bring the joints?" Ryan nudged Nina. "Let's light up, c'mon."

"Oh, Aurora, did you roll the joints?" Nina jolted as she turned towards me with a smile. "Please tell me you did."

I rolled my eyes. "Did I bring the joints? Of course I did." I said as I brought out the small packaging from my bag. Harry shifted in his seat, staring at me curiously as he watched me bring out one of the cherry paper rolled joints from earlier.

"Fuck yes. Thank you, Aurora." Ryan smiled wide. "You're a lifesaver."

"You're gonna make my ego inflate, be careful." I teased as I placed it between my lips. I lit it with no effort, taking a slow, but long drag off of it. Smoke bellowed into the air, creating a stench of skunk immediately.

"It's been so long since I've smoked. My normal guy has been dry as fuck." Nina mumbled as she pouted her lips. "Gimme, gimme, gimme."

"So needy." I mumbled as I blew the smoke out, passing it off to her.

"Can I try some of that, Nina?" Harry said shyly, pointing towards the lit object between her fingers. "I, uh... I've never smoked before."

"Harry, you've never smoked before? No way! This is gonna be so awesome." Nina said excitedly as she scooted towards him with the joint in hand.

"Well, maybe—" I stopped Nina with my hand, taking it from her as I tsked. "Let me show him. You always end up getting first-timers way too high."

"That was one time and that shit was medical grade, okay? It's not my fault she couldn't hang." Nina pouted as she scooted back to her spot.

"Okay, whatever." I teased, handing it over to Harry with a smile. "Okay, so put your lips around this end and just take a really small hit. Inhale like you are breathing through your mouth, but uh... with your mouth closed."

Harry took the joint, staring down at the butt of it. He gave me nervous eyes for a mere moment, but I reassured him with a small pat to the knee and a nod.

He shrugged, clearing his throat before putting it to his lips. His cheeks drew in slowly, brows pinched tightly as he looked down at it.

"Hold it, Harry! Hold it in!" Nina cheered on as she laughed. "It'll get you higher!"

"Babe, you're gonna kill him." Ryan rolled his eyes, wrapping his arm around her to pull her close.

Harry took Nina's advice, but it was only for a few seconds before he started to cough up the smoke. A lot harder than he had coughed for the shot he took moments ago.

"It's okay. Hey, it's okay." I panicked slightly, taking the joint from his fingers before passing it off to Ryan from behind me. "Nina knows that's just a myth anyway. If anything, coughing will be more helpful with that." I replied, eyeing her purposely. She only winked at me in return, causing us both to giggle.

Harry was hunched over, covering his mouth as he coughed hard into his hand. I placed a soft touch to his back as I rubbed it carefully, nodding my head in understanding.

"It's normal, you're gonna cough a lot." I frowned. "Just don't listen to Nina next time. She tends to... do this to people."

He tilted his head up, his eyes slightly watery from the coughing. He let out a soft breath, rubbing at his eyes before turning towards me with an embarrassed expression.

"I didn't expect that." His voice was now raspy from the coughing fit. Harry ran a hand through his brown curls, sitting up straight as he tried to control his breathing.

"You okay?" I whispered as I found a seat next to him, putting my back against the truck with my legs stretched out.

"I feel a little weird... in my chest." He whispered back, placing a hand onto his heart as he drew in a long, slow breath. "Is this normal?"

"It's normal, I promise. You'll feel good in a second, just don't worry about smoking if you don't want to, alright? Sometimes too big of a hit can cause your chest to hurt from all the coughing." I nudged his arm. "We can just listen to music and lay here."

"No, I like it." Harry cleared his throat into his fist, shaking his head softly. His glazed eyes peered towards Nina and Ryan who were blowing the weed smoke into each other's mouth. His lips parted, shifting in his seat slowly.

"Ignore them." I whispered towards him with a roll of my eyes. "Hey! Stop hogging the weed!"

I leaned over, taking the joint from Nina's hand. She muttered something under her breath before wrapping herself back around Ryan. It was typical, I hadn't doubted they would be all over each other tonight.

Placing it between my lips, I took a slow, but long hit off of it. The smoke filled my lungs, burning my throat as I leaned back. It felt good to be smoking again, it had me questioning why I had even stopped for a bit in the first place.

"You're not gonna blow that into my mouth, are you?" Harry questioned with a nervous chuckle that followed after. I let out a soft breath, a smile curved on my lips as the smoke bellowed through my nose.

"No, don't worry."

Harry took the joint from me, taking a long draw from it. The cherry burned the wrapper as I watched him hold the smoke in before it spilled from his lips. He coughed into his hand, his eyes starting to become more and more hooded.

We sat there for sometime, listening to the music while my head leaned back against the truck to stare up at the sky. I kept glancing over towards Harry to make sure he was okay, and he was in the position that I was in. I hadn't noticed that he was staring up at the stars with me.

I had often wondered about what went through his mind. When he looked up at the stars, was he thinking about home? Was he contemplating? Was he thinking the same things that I did?

His mind, from what he had shown me, was beautiful and dark. It was ironic in a way, the way that he could look so happy on the outside, but yet have so many doubts and insecurities about himself. I could only wish that he would see himself the way that I saw him.

But I supposed other people could say the same thing about me as well.

I glanced towards him once again, seeing that he was looking directly at me. I bit back a smile, turning my head to look at him fully. His blood-shot eyes crinkled as he smiled at me, his dimples poking out. I parted my lips, my fingers tapping on my thigh.

"I–"

"You know what!" Nina said as she leaned up from Ryan's arms, spreading her arms out with a wide smile.

"I'm scared to ask." I mumbled softly. The high was now setting in, I could tell from the way my words were slightly slurred with the threat of giggles and my voice became lazy and raspy.

Nina tsked at me, leaning over to grab her purse as she sat it into her lap. Harry and I watched curiously as she brought out a small baggy that had small square foils in it. I wasn't a fool, I knew exactly what it was.

"Are you guys ready to really party?" Nina smirked as she handed me two hits of acid on their own pieces of foil. I stared down at them in my hand, a chuckle leaving me.

"What's that?" Harry whispered towards me, his brows pinching together tightly. I glanced out of the corner of my eye, nibbling on my lip carefully.

"This is acid." I said as I took the small pieces of paper out of the foil, placing them directly onto my finger. "It will make you feel really good. Colors will be a lot brighter and it's like, you're one with the Earth."

"I think I already am one with the Earth, Aurora." Harry chuckled, glancing towards Nina and Ryan who were already putting the hits onto their tongues.

"Do you wanna do it? You don't have to. I know it's all a lot at once, especially for someone not used to it." I turned towards him, holding my palm out. Harry looked down into my hand, his brow perking up. I knew Harry had never done anything like this before, but I would rather him do it with me than some random person he didn't know.

He would be a lot safer with us. With me.

"Uh..." He scratched the back of his head, pursing his lips. "What's it going to feel like?"

"You'll have to figure it out on your own. It's different for everyone, but just imagine pure bliss and euphoria." I placed a hit onto his finger, then one on mine as well. "Here, you can put one on my tongue and then I'll put one on yours."

"How long do you leave it on your tongue?" Harry frowned, looking down at the paper with curiosity.

"Just for thirty minutes or so and then you spit it out or swallow it. This kind doesn't dissolve." I told him as I raised my finger towards his mouth. "Open your mouth."

Harry let out a giggle, opening his mouth slowly before sticking his tongue out. I watched him in awe, a smile spreading across my lips before I did the same thing. I placed the hit onto his tongue, and he placed one on mine.

I closed my mouth, letting it settle on my tongue and making sure not to swallow it before I could give it time to kick in. Harry settled back against the truck, placing his hands into his lap as he brought his tongue back into his mouth. He stared down into his lap, not really saying much after that.

"Are you ready to really see the world now, Starboy?"

a/n: heyyy. just a reminder in case you didn't see sunny or i talk about it, but we're no longer doing scheduled updates. it had just gotten too much and this way makes it less stressful honestly. we still love starboy and are continuing to work on it, but we're allowing ourselves a little more freedom with it so i hope everyone understands! we also hope you guys still stick around and continue along the starboy journey with us <3

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