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whitemancumslut · 1 year

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Precious

summary In which Y/n is busy and isn’t able to tend and take care of a small sensitive Harry.

content warnings [18+], smallspace, mommy kink, bit of angst, harry feels a bit ignored, nipple sucking, dirty talk

word count 3,184 words

authors note this is all over the place. draft just to post. slightly proof read.

Erasing lyrics, replacing them with other words, changing them to the original, erasing again— It was an endless pattern.

Cursing to himself as his mind has gone blank for the fourth time. So many thoughts filled his brain. So many ideas! But he just couldn’t plan it out on paper.

Today was not Harry’s day. The love of his life was not in bed when he woke up this morning nor the previous. Y/n had been busy, understandable. Too busy to tend to Harry and notice how down he’s been this week. It bought him to tears when he’d wake up to an empty bedside. All the stress of having writers block, Y/n ignoring him.

Was it ignoring or was she just doing her job? Y/n had a job. Just like Harry, she worked her ass off. But she never worked this much— especially when Harry needed her most? He immediately went to the thought that she was definitely mad at him. But really Y/n went into the office with loads of papers on her desk, times two each day she walked in. It killed her going home with files and files to handle than give Harry the attention he needed. She was so focused on getting her work done to realize Harry was in need of her comfort and guidance.

When Harry entered the house, he expected instant comfort. He expected Y/n to notice he was upset. The grown set on his face. He didn’t want to have to tell her what he needed. What he wanted. What did he want? He wanted that fuzzy feeling inside. He wanted to turn his brain off and only see her. Her comforting and taking care of him. He’s been grumpy since he stepped foot in the house. He wanted her to put him in a trance. So that he felt nothing but the pleasure she provided.

“Hi baby,” Y/n’s voice chirps. For the first time this week, she isn’t working on her laptop and ordering takeout. The smell of a fresh cooked meal fills Harry’s nostrils as he walks closer and closer to the kitchen. “Hi,” He said, faking a smile and kissing her cheek. “Would you like for me to make you a plate?” Harry looked back at Y/n giving her a soft nod and a ‘thank you’ before heading up the stairs into the bedroom to put his stuff down. Y/n furrowed her brows at the sudden odd behavior but brushed it off as he came down the stairs looking as if he never came in with an attitude.

Harry ate dinner slowly. Looking up at Y/n between bites, wanting to bring up how he’s been feeling for days. He didn’t feel like a burden, no. But he also didn’t want to be in denial of being one. She wasn’t working at that moment, but that doesn’t mean that after dinner she’s not going to go up and began typing on the laptop again.

But slowly, Y/n began to notice Harry’s change of demeanor. Slow bites, awkward stares. What was going on?

And then he said, “I’m going to bed.” Muttering the four words bringing his barely touched plate to the kitchen counter. A sudden pain hit Y/n’s chest as her mouth fell slightly agape. “I—But baby you hardly ate,” She pointed out, standing up and following his footsteps to the bottom of the staircase.

“I’m full,” He lied straight through his teeth, patting his stomach. “I’m also really tired, love,” He lied again, and the fact she wasn’t fully catching on was killing him more. Tears burned his eyes as he turned his head away from her, blinking the tears away. He swears he wishes he had the pride to speak up about how he felt.

Harry walks up the stairs and curses to himself when he hears Y/n following.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Her voice is soft as she closes the bedroom door behind her. “You’ve been down ever since you stepped foot in the house,” She spoke noticeably. She noticed. They why didn’t she immediately tend to care? Why is she now asking what’s wrong? Then why wasn’t it clicking to her? The more she asked the more upset he got. He was embarrassed.

“Nothing.”

“Harry… It’s not nothing,” She told him. “Obviously something is bothering you,” She pointed out, sitting next to him on the bed. Her heart was beating faster the slower he started to unravel his feelings.

“It is nothing,” He spoke, voice a little louder and raising his head so his eyes were looking at hers. Not very convincing. If anything the eye contact made the lie more clear.

“Please tell me what’s wrong. I just want to make you feel better.”

He took a deep breath before saying, “It’s just— Today has been so hard— This week!” He expressed truthfully. “My head hurts!— I don’t know—It hurts. I have so many ideas but they won’t come out and then I feel like you’ve been ignoring me all week— I don’t know if I did something to make you upset— I…” He trailed off as she cut him off.

“Ignoring you?” She questioned, appalled by the sudden false accusation. “Baby why would I ignore you?” She was clearly confused and shocked by his words. Her brows frowned and mouth slightly agape. “You did nothing wrong, lovie,” She promised as she wiped the single tear that fell from his eye.

“I don’t know. You leave for work at like 6 am every morning and you don’t even work on Friday’s and Saturday’s! You don’t even let me know! A-and you don’t even kiss me goodbye! All you do you leave a note,” He said sadly. “It’s like—I just thought you took more hours because you were upset with me."

Y/n gasped softly as guilt immediately filled her harmless soul.“Oh my— baby! I would never do that. I have only been working early’s and extra days because I walk into the office there are hundreds of papers for me to file and appointments I need to handle. I’m so sorry I've just been really stressed lately. I just wanted to catch up on my work. I’m sorry.”

He stayed silent. “You know I would never do that to you, right?” She questioned expecting a response only to get a soft head nod.

“I just need you a lot right now,” Her told her honestly. His voice was low and soft, looking down at his hands. “I just want you,” He muttered.

“I’m right here, baby,” Putting her hands over his fidgeting ones.

“I just— No—I want you to take care of me like you used to,” The words are low and quiet like he nervous someone else was listening.

Used to. Last time they have been intimate was a week ago. Back when Harry needed to let go and take a moment with his brain turned off. Harry craved attention, her attention. And if she was being fair, she hadn’t been giving him her full divided attention. She had stacks of papers from the office she decides to bring home and spend late nights on. While Harry’s at the studio she works as well, but Harry wishes when he’s come home it’ll be nothing but open arms.

It soon hit her whys he’s been so moody and down. He’s stressed. Y/n can put two and two together and come to the conclusion he’s under an intense amount of pressure. As he always is, it was hard. When feeling something similar to this Y/n would always kiss his problems away and his mind would drift away. He’ll float away, and all he needed was to be comforted and his brain turned off. She realized he was embarrassed and didn’t want to say the words, he just wanted the moment to happen. Like usual when he needed to fall into subspace and let go it would be in the moment and she would immediately reconcile. But this time since she was too busy to notice his needs it passed right by her. She noticed immediately and began to send him into a fuzzy phase of pleasure.

She realized he was hurt about how much she’s been gone. She realized she wasn’t there when he’d wake up, like she used to. She’s always leaving a note notifying him that she’s left to catch early hours, sending him a complete distant mood. No goodbye kiss, that he’d know of, just a note that leaves him wondering why he’s waiting hours to get your affection.

Fifty percent of the time— he thought he was being reasonable, that he deserved to feel a bit neglected. Then the other fifty percent— he feels he’s being too needy. That she’s also stressing over work. But Y/n officially sees how he feels. She knows that she would never put work above him, but she had to have that done. She could tell how stress took over his system, terribly. He just needed to let go. He needed her. He needed her to turn his brain off, and only focus on her.

The stress was eating him alive and she could see that. How did she not notice until tonight?

“Oh baby,” She immediately cradled his face in her hands. He looked down but the warmth of her soft hands made his breath hitch. “I’m so sorry. I know this is no excuse but I just had loads of work to do. I just wanted to get caught up— I’m so sorry,” She swears she will never want Harry to feel this way. She’s his comfort person, and so is he to her. But how can she not be there for him when she needed him when he’s always there for her? Guilt pains her as she clears her throat caressing the stubble around his jaw.

With her eyes peeking down at his fingers that fidgeted and his feet that were crossed, she asked, “You feeling a little small right now, mmh?”

Those are the words that make his eyes gleam. He shoots his head up at the woman before him and watches her lips move with the words, “You want Mommy to take care of you? Lemme make up for making you feel so sad.”

His brows raised, eyes go doe and his cheek bones soften. He’s quick to raise his head, eyes meeting hers. Y/n sees the glossiness in his eyes and her heart breaks.

He nods stiffly, moving his fingers so that they tangle with hers. “Yes p-please,” He whispers softly.

The broken please breaks her heart. Her sweet boy. So polite, so sweet.

“Of course my sweet boy. Come. Take those pants off for me.”

Y/n maneuvers herself so that’s she’s against the large bed frame. Patient, she was as she awaits Harry’s pressure. Harry obliges, sliding his pants off, leaving himself in his red boxer briefs. He crawls over to her on all fours, throwing one leg over her thighs and sitting down on her thighs. His legs were on either side of her thighs, knees bent and bum resting on her.

“That’s right, baby,” She whispered quietly, softly. The voice sending shivers down his spine, along with the soft finger tips trailing up his thigh.Y/n calls his name softly getting his attention and pulling him into a soft kiss. Bringing her hand up his thigh, caressing where his tattooed was printed. Butterflies began to flutter in his guts again as her fingertips danced on his skin. Moaning against her lips, allowing her to go into his inner thigh. Using her tongue to pry his lips apart and sneak it’s way into his mouth, Y/n explored Harry’s mouth before she disconnected from the kiss, the smush sound of the lips disconnecting and the spit between filled the walls.

A breathless Harry watched as Y/n brought her face closer to his. Diving down into his neck and hungrily placing his skin between her teeth, muttering the words, “Relax, baby,” softly. Realizing his thigh muscles still tense, he relaxed his tense bones and let her suck feverishly.

The pleasure was surreal, his eyes fluttered shut as he bucked his hips up against hers. Her tongue is hot against his skin, fingertips still dancing and tracing the detailed tiger. Inhaling sharply and moaning while his jaw fell slack, Harry’s breath was hitching. Unable to be steady as he was getting pleasure but just little sticky kisses on his peppered skin. “So fucking pretty. Pretty boy,” She slurred her words against his skin. The praise sending him into a mental orbit of clouds.

While her other hand was caressing his thigh the other was sneaking up his shirt. Rubbing over his ribs, up to his nipples, skimming past with a little pinch. A sharp inhale comes from Harry as his toes curl to the sudden sensation. She’s quick to bring her fingers to the hem of his shirt, hooking them over the fabric and pulling the shirt over his head.

“Pretty?” He asked, the question for reassurance and the hear the words come out of her mouth again. “Yeah,” She backed away from the dark bruise she created on his neck looking into his lust filled green eyes. “So pretty,” She said again.

He wasn’t completely above the clouds as yet but he was getting there. Just a few kisses and praises and he was in stage one.

Tapping his bum lightly, “Can you lay down on your back for me.” She asked kindly of him. Harry moves off and lays down on his back. Y/n’s quick to crawl above him, straddling his body, placing her lips to the opposite side of his neck from before. Her kisses soft and passionate, leaving light red spots on his skin. “P-please,” He choked out, placing his hands on her hips as her bottom laid up on his growing, painful erection.

Licking around his nipple, teasing the sensitive bud as she also continued to grind against his clothed cock. She received a couple of swarms below, Harry’s eyes flutter shut as his cock twitches in his briefs. Y/n giggled at the twitch of his cock against her clothed cunt as she sucked his nipple. His breathing labored. “F-fuck,” Harry hissed out. The familiar feeling of his brain fuzzing up came into play. The more gentle she was, the more he fell into his space. He needed this. All his stress was magically lifting off his brain. His only focus was her and the pleasure he was receiving from her.

Straddling his broad thighs as she disconnected from his nipple, spit dripping on her chin as she smiled. Rubbing her hand over his butterfly as she began suck hungrily on his other nipple. Toying with the other with her finger tips Harry moaned out a curse word along with a small cry.

His nipples are hard as she attended to them. Her hand slides into the waistband of his briefs. Absurdly grabbing his cock in her hand. Looking up at him through her lashes, Y/n gave his nipple one last lick with the pad of her tongue before kissing her waist down to his v-line.

“Mommy, please.”

“I know baby I know. I’m right here. Gon’ make you feel so good. But let mommy have her way right now,” Those words made him whimper. “Just wanna feel you. In my mouth… my cunt,” Her voice seductive and intoxicating. He swarmed again, the thought of her cunt squeezing his cock as he slid and out of her so easily with her slick made him impatient.

Jerking his cock in her hand as she slowly got closer to it. Harry looked down as he noticed the bruises he left around his nipples.

Y/n pulls his briefs down and his cock springs out to meet her. Slapping against his skin and going straight up, his cock had precum dripping down to its base.

“Mmh,” She smiled coyly at him. “‘Mve missed your cock so much,” She slurs at him. “So big,” She tells him, licking up his length. Looking up at him devilishly as she gave his cock a little squeeze in her palm.

“O-oh my god,” He speaks in shuddered breaths, mouth ajar, going dry as he watches her. Wrapping her lips around his cock, taking just a bit past his tip in, Y/n earns an absurd groan that crawled up Harry’s throat and out of his mouth along with a broken sob. “Oh my-bloody fuck!” Her mouth was made to be a hole for him. It was warm around him, her lips rolled on his cock as it laid heavy on her tongue. Kitty licking the tip and all of his salty precum found it’s way into her mouth. Licking over his slit, making sure she pressed down so he could feel the pressure on his sensitive. Taking Harry in, sliding down his thick cock, breathing through her nose, Y/n swallowed her pride and the need to gag as she slid him down farther.

“Sweet god!” He growls, fingers crawling in her hair, gripping tightly. “Mommy so good! Harder, harder,” He cries prettily, Y/n sucks harder the dent prominent in her cheeks. He’s grown sensitive the past couple of minutes, a hot tear slides down his cheek as she goes up and down on his cock.

Pulling off his cock, a breathless Y/n says, “Don’t want you to cum just as yet baby. Want you to fuck mommy’s cunt first, okay?”

He nods eagerly, “I wanna cum in Mommy’s cunt,” He told her. He finished his words with a small please making Y/n fall soft against his thigh in admiration. Pecking his hairy thigh, she says, “And I’m gonna let you, my precious boy,” The pet name, the kiss, it all makes Harry hiss to the painful twitch in his cock.

His cock, his cock that has her spit lingering around its base, falling down his thighs.

Harry sits up, never wanting to miss the view of Y/n stripping. He’s watching as she removed her bottoms. Sliding her pants down revealing her thighs that made him sudder. Harry whined as he grew needy. Taking off her underwear, hooking under her feet, Y/n could feel Harry’s enlarged eyes staring into her bare skin.

Once she’s done, Harry begins crawling back as Y/n crawls between his thighs. Grabbing his ankles and raising his legs. “Mmh you got my cunt so wet. Gon’ be so easy just to slip, hmm?” Y/n bit her lip as she watched Harry scrunch his face up when her soft hands met his balls. Your hand slid up and down his base, from his tip to his balls.

“I want your pussy mommy, please. Want you around me again.”

Y/n spreads Harry’s legs and he grabbed his own ankles so his legs wouldn’t fall as Y/n slid her way up, lining her hole up with his tip immediately feeling the head.

She wasted no time sliding down on his cock, her eyes flutter shut as Harry spreads her open. They simultaneously moan in pleasure together. Y/n’s pussy immediately clenches around Harry.

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles x y/n #subbry #sub!harry #sub!harry x dom!reader #hslot #boyfriend!harry #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic rec #love on tour #live on tour #hs lot 2022

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hstylestuff · 1 month

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 6 months

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muna and their production manager ivan barry were talking about harry on the latest episode of muna's podcast, gayotic. talking about how good sarah's catering was ("if she was here i would be so happy" - josette, "sarah was shocking" - naomi), and how they brought them the value of providing food for the entire crew like that ("he PAID for people!!" - ivan, "so fucking cool" - naomi). he was always in catering with them, eating with them:

ivan: "if you didn't know who harry styles was, you would walk in and go: there's just a bunch of crew guys here, and one of them is extremely gorgeous."

naomi: "this crew guy's hotter than a lot of them!"

he was always "up for a laugh" (naomi) and then they remember when harry sat down on katie and ivan thought the world was gonna implode ("i just didn't know what to do with him" - katie). ivan watched (american) football with harry for 2,5 hours. so yeah, pretty much the best most chill most perfect anecdote about harry bts on tour

#my posts #harry #live on tour #muna #gayotic

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thelionhkinggqueen · 7 months

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Harry's AI pics 🧚‍♀️ (btw these are only the tiniest display of my imaginations😭)

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷💌💌💌💌💌

#harry styles #harries #one direction #harry's house #harry styles hs1 #fine line album #harry styles imagine #live on tour #harry styles fluff #hs lot #ai #as it was #aesthetic #art

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be-with-me-so-happily · 1 year

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Chapter 3

Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she hates how everyone thinks Harry is. Because she knows that's not the case.

Chapter Summary: We all know Harry has a cheeky side, and the interview will be no exception. Except she isn't the only one asking questions. Also, the holidays are here, which brings up a lot of emotions for Cassidy.

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, unexpected pregnancy, alcoholic dad, degrading, domestic violence

[ flashback - Feb 2016 ]

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

"It's gonna be okay."

"Okay? Are you kidding? Gemma, I'm fucking pregnant!" Cassidy retorts, throwing her face into her palms as she sits on the bathroom floor of her childhood home. "My dad's gonna kill me."

"It's not like you're fifteen though."

"Gem… it's my dad…"

"Right. Well, you don't… you don't have to tell them right away…" She gingerly suggests, and Cassidy wraps her arms around her knees, physically trying to hold herself together.

"I guess."

"Are you gonna tell the baby's father?"

Cassidy's body stiffens. She didn't even think about that part, that step in this sudden life-changing moment. She should have, but she didn't, and now everything feels twice as chaotic than it did when those two pink lines appeared on that pee stick.

"I… I have to. Right?"

Gemma is silent for a moment, scooting closer to her friend and wrapping her arm around Cassidy's shoulders.

"I can't answer that for you, CJ. You have to do what's right for you."

The problem is, she doesn't know what's right for her. And now, it's not just about her either. There's someone else involved. Someone she hasn't even met yet but needs to be taken care of, more so than herself. She also has to do what's right for him or her, and that is something she doesn't have an answer for at the moment.

"I… I don't…" She shakes her head as tears gather all across her lower lashes. "I don't know yet."

"Take some time." Her best friend responds, squeezing her into a tighter hug. "In the meantime, are you hungry, or at least craving anything? What can I get for you?"

"Oh god, yes. I really want some shortbread biscuits."

"That sounds good actually."

"And Marmite."

"Okay. No. You're on your own with that one."

Cassidy sighs. She knows what Gemma means, her statement is a comical one solely about the food choices she is craving, but she can't help taking it to a deeper level. She feels so alone.

"Hey, no, none of that. You're not actually alone." Gemma states, clearly picking up on the shift in the atmosphere. "I'm always here for you, yeah? Always."

[ present - Dec 2019 ]

If Cassidy thought that her "crepe Saturday" was nerve-wracking, she clearly underestimated how anxious she can get.

It is probably due to the fact that Harry asked to do the interview sooner rather than later, which in this case means the next day. Thankfully, she was able to call upon Roxie to take Cecelia and entertain her for a few hours.

However, that means she and Harry will be together alone. Not that any kind of conclusion can be made from it, he's simply coming over for an interview, but it doesn't keep her from feeling frazzled.

Her pair of comfortable, flared jeans and a big knit sweater still seem to be the best option for the day's outfit, even though she's checked it over and considered a change roughly fifty times already.

The doorbell prevents her from reconsidering her clothing choices yet again, and she shakes the anxiety out of her hands before opening the front door.

"Good morning!" Harry exclaims with a wide grin and more coffees in hand. "Brought these.'

"You don't have to bring me coffee every time you come over." She chuckles, realizing this is the third time he's been at her house, and only the second time he's actually been invited over.

"I didn't. These are both for me." He smirks, causing a blush to her cheeks, but out of embarrassment for her assumption.

"I'm joking." He adds, handing her one of the cups, with a deep dimple caving into his left cheek. "F'course this is for you!"

She gives him a sarcastic glare, knowing she should have expected that kind of mischief from him. It won't ever go away. However, his comment is not bothersome this time.

"Thank you." She replies, grabbing the cup and further opening the door to allow him to walk through.

She finds a seat at the table, and notices him still standing at the end.

"Where should I sit?"

"Oh." She chuckles. "Across from me. Makes it better when I can see your face."

"Hmm, does it now?"

She rolls her eyes, but can't hide the small smile trying to push its way across her face. She clears her throat as she realizes that his cheeky charm is flustering more than it's frustrating her, and she hasn't tried to correct it.

"Don't flatter yourself, I do it like that with everyone." She chuckles, shaking her head at how his narcissism always manages to peek through, even slightly. But somehow this time it is entertaining.

"I'm only teasing."

"Nothing new."

"So, let's get to it. What questions do you have for me?"

She flips her notebook open, and reads over what she has written down. She pulls out a recorder from her pocket and places it on the table.

"Is it okay if I record this?" She asks shyly. She quickly has the epiphany that she is now interacting with and seeing him as Harry Styles, the famous singer. That will be useful to keep her thoughts professional and maintain the boundaries she convinced herself she would keep. Though, she isn't sure why she feels the need to have them in the first place. Nothing really happened between them. Just two nights of sex. Really good sex. The best sex she's had. He is really, really good at it.

"Sure. Makes it easier for you to refer back to, right?" He responds, and she lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in. Her eyes flicker up to him quickly before looking back down at her notes. "And it's old school. I like it."

She nods, presses the record button, and picks up her pen.

"Alright. So, Harry, you just had a secret show at the Electric Ballroom, showcasing the songs from your new album, 'Fine Line'. You also had one recently in Los Angeles. What made you decide to release your album and have those two performances at the end of this year rather than the beginning of the next?"

His eyes went wide and a huge grin displayed instantly. It looked as if he was surprised by her inquiry.

"That's a good question. Umm, I think for me personally, I was excited to share the songs with everyone and wanted to give my wonderful, wonderful fans something before the holidays and before tour next year." He replies, never taking his eyes off of her. She can feel them even as she looks down to the paper in front of her.

She looks back up to him, catching a bit of something in his gaze that she can't distinguish at the moment.

"Clearly you love the music that you make, and wouldn't put a song on the album that you didn't like. But is there one in particular that you are surprised the fans love as much as they do?"

"Umm, I don't think so. Obviously I hoped the album would be well received. I know not everyone is going to be a fan of every song. But what I didn't necessarily expect, and is a bit of a shame, is during the line in 'To Be So Lonely', when it says that 'I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch'... I didn't expect them to shout it so loudly back at me!"

They both laugh, and Harry begins to fidget slightly with the H and S initial rings on his hand.

"Did you?"

"Did I what?" She asks, looking up from the notes she just scribbled down.

"Yell it back at me?"

"I… umm…"

"You did!" He exclaims, throwing his hand dramatically against his chest in fake offense.

"I really didn't! I promise!"

He looks at her with a curious raised eyebrow, but flicks his hands at her to wave it off and continue the interview.

"So, talking about loving the music you make, is there a song from the album that you'd consider your favourite?"

As she waits for his answer, her own hand ready to write his response, she notices the silence. She looks back up and sees him staring down at his own hands, still fidgeting. His brow is slightly furrowed and his lips pulled inward.

"I'm sure most of your fans would have trouble choosing just one, so I can only imagine how hard it would be for you." She chuckles, hoping to ease whatever strain he seems to be feeling. Though, she is unsure why the question has caused him to stay quiet.

He clears his throat and runs one hand through his hair.

"No, no. I do." He brings his eyes up to meet hers, and there is now a discernible intensity to them, and it's an expression she can determine is one of vulnerability. For some reason, it makes her chest tighten. "Umm, I'd say one of my favourite songs from this album is 'Fine Line'. I'm really happy with it. Really proud of it."

Cassidy holds herself back from looking up to him and focuses on writing down his answer, but can feel his gaze burning into her.

"When we first made it, I instantly loved the melody, and the lyrics. I listened to it all the time during my last tour, like, I'd just listen to it in bed or during down time. I knew it would be the last song on the album, so we made it big. I wanted it to be big. It… it means a lot to me, that one."

"I think it's one of my favourites too."

"It is?" He replies with surprise. He sits up straighter and picks at his nails this time, her noticing a smile he's attempting to cover up. He never accomplishes that. She sees through the expression every time, but his question seems sincere. "What… what do you like about it?"

"It's… I mean… it's beautiful. And it just feels like a song, like, a relationship, that loads of people can relate to."

"Can you?" He asks quickly, and softly.

"Can I what?"

"Can you relate to it?"

She takes in a deep breath as she finishes writing down his last quotable words, staring at them for a moment, and doing everything she can not to entertain the thought of the song possibly being inspired by her. Specifically that last interaction, last fight, that they had over two years ago.

"Yeah, I can." She pauses, turning her gaze to the side and feeling emotions swirl through her stomach. Yes, she definitely can.

"Is it… is it because of… Cece's father?" He asks quietly. Shyly. He seems nervous to have asked the question, but she's even more nervous to answer.

No, she never told Harry that she was pregnant. She wasn't sure if he was even told by his family. The shock on his face, those few days ago, gave her the answer to that. He hadn't known. Not that there was a reason for him to know. It didn't involve him and frankly it was none of his business, especially considering how they left things. Especially considering how it happened, when it happened, and who she got pregnant by.

Yet, a small part of her feels as if that person, the father of her child, is not the one she might consider the song to be about for her. Because that relationship, for lack of a better term, was not something like Harry's lyrics describe.

She unintentionally reaches for the recorder and presses to stop it. "Sorry. I need… some water."

She stands from her seat, not able to come up with a better excuse to use, but hoping it'll suffice.

"I'm sorry, Cass. I'm not trying to pry."

"Yes you are." She gives him a small smile, which causes him to let out a quick, breathy chuckle.

"Can I ask a different question then?"

"Oh. Umm…" Her nerves peak.

"It's light-hearted. Promise. Casual conversation."

She nods. "Sure."

"Who are some of your favorite artists?"

She brings her glass to the table and sits back down. She looks up to him, watching as his smile turns into a full on grin and leaning back in his chair. He's waiting for her to say his name.

"Niall." She answers immediately, copying his posture by leaning back in her own chair, and hoping the wait for more is irritating him. "Cece absolutely loves him. Dances around to all of his songs. She likes Taylor Swi-"

"I asked who your favorite artists are, not hers." He chuckles with a faux frown, which only makes Cassidy giggle in response.

"I like them, too!" She jokingly scowls back. "I really like Ed Sheeran's stuff, and have been listening to Kacey Musgraves lately."

He sits there, one arm across his body and the other tugging on his bottom lip, a gesture she has seen many times before. A small smile appears on his lips and he leans forward, his forearms resting on the table with his hands clasped together.

"Does that mean I round out your top five?" He asks, his eyebrows raised in the most smug demeanor. It's one that Cassidy wants to squash, just a little.

"Not even close, Styles. I can't listen to you. I know you." She answers. She knows that in the context of their current conversation, her reply might not make sense. But in general, she has avoided listening to his songs, with the exception of a few, for the very reason she just mentioned. She knows him. And while she knows he hasn't written about her, besides potentially the one song she just proclaimed was her favourite, she hasn't been able to get herself to hear his heart in his songs. The reason is unknown to her. It feels silly. But she chocks it up to the fact that she has already dealt with enough from him, some good but mostly bad, and she would prefer not to awaken any of those frustrated emotions again if she can avoid doing so.

"Ouch." He dramatically hits his palm against his chest. "Usually your biggest supporters are the people who know you. You know, like your friends…"

He smiles but pulls his lips inward and drops his gaze, almost looking hurt by what he just said. Friends. He's the only person that word feels weird with. Complicated with. And they're not. They're not actually friends. Or, at least, they never have been before.

"I have one more question." He states, snapping her back to her task at hand. Well, not her task at the moment. But at least back to the present.

"Oh goodness."

"Hey." He quips, sticking his tongue out at her words. This is a side she's seen before, but always in a different capacity. It's playful. She has only ever seen it when he was pulling pranks. It makes her, as she always does with him, feel flustered. No, she feels frustrated. Usually. "Just wanted to know what you're doing for Christmas."

"Oh." She replies. "Just spending time here. Nothing major. Just me and Cece."

"Oh!" He clears his throat, a somewhat surprised look on his face. "Sounds lovely."

Her body tenses, wondering how much he might try to dig into that response, and truly hoping nothing more will be asked of her regarding the subject.

"Do you, umm, have any more questions for me?" He quickly changes the subject as he points to the recorder. She nods and reaches over to turn it back on, sitting in silence for a moment as she goes over her notes, also sneaking glimpses of Harry as he rubs his palms anxiously over his thighs.

She clears her throat and looks directly back up at him, smiling to regain the positive and professional atmosphere that was there at the beginning of the interview. He returns it with his own smile.

"Right, yeah." She begins. "Let's talk about the choice to cover Lizzo's song 'Juice' for the show. I was gutted that I had to miss it, so I need all the details."

•••

The holidays can be so bittersweet. Cassidy absolutely loves seeing the wonderment in Cecelia's eyes around this time of year, and each Christmas, though they've only had a few so far, has only gotten better and better. She's so excited to have her daughter at an age now where they can start sharing more experiences together, and maybe start some family traditions.

However, the bitter part comes about as Cassidy is reminded that it's just the two of them. Cecelia will never know what it's like to go over to her grandparents house, getting overly spoiled with presents and sugary treats. She doesn't get to experience her dad lifting her onto his shoulders so she can place the star on top of their tree. She doesn't get to have big family gatherings or holiday cards with both parents.

But then again, neither did Cassidy.

That's one of the reasons she would visit the Styles house every Christmas afternoon. She at least got a little taste of what that life was like, for them. With them. It was warm, and loving, and everything she wanted it to be. She has tried to recreate that for Cecelia, but she knows she can only do so much.

It makes her miss visiting with Anne and Gemma. They never missed an opportunity to include her in something. Usually it was some shenanigans to prank the boys. She sighs as she acknowledges how much she misses Robin, too. They always teamed up for one of their family games, and he would rave about how Anne gave him the most thoughtful gift. Every year.

But getting pregnant changed all of it. Cassidy doesn't regret having Cecelia, not even in the slightest, she just wishes she could give her more. More than her own parents ever did.

[ flashback - April 2016 ]

Cassidy feels as if she has just barely made it through her first trimester. Spending time at the Styles house seems to have helped keep her pregnancy hidden from her parents, but she isn't sure how much longer she can keep it secret.

"Darling, are you alright? You've barely eaten anything lately." Her mum states with concern, using the back of her hand against Cassidy's forehead to check her temperature.

She plays around with the food on her plate, resisting the urge to vomit at simply the sight of the cooked chicken. She looks over to her dad, who is passed out drunk on the sofa, and looks back to find her mum's concerned expression.

"I'm okay, Mum." She lies.

Her mum wraps her arms around Cassidy's shoulders, kneeling down next to her chair, and quickly glancing over to her husband before turning back to Cassidy.

"If something is wrong, you can tell me CJ. I'm your mum. I'm always here for you."

Cassidy glances over to her again, now seeing the concern has turned into compassion, and a mixture of emotions arise, not being helped by her heightened hormones. Tears start to form in her eyes and she leans into her mum's hold.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Cassidy would have responded with shock, or attempted to continue to cover up her secret, but all she can manage to do is grasp onto her mum and let some tears fall, making sure to stay quiet and not wake up her dad.

She finally nods and her mum pulls back to look her in the eyes.

"It's okay, darling, it's going to be okay."

They both look over to the sofa as they hear stirring.

"We'll talk later, alright? We'll figure this out."

•••

It's the first time, in a long time, that Cassidy has felt good being at home. Somewhat good. Her mum has truly been taking care of her over the past week, and she's so grateful for the help. She's grateful to not feel alone there anymore.

They both walk through the front door, smiling and chatting, after being at the store.

"S'bout damn time!" Her dad exclaims as they place the bags on the kitchen counter, the stench of whiskey looming off of him. "What took so fuck'n long?"

"We had to get a few extra things this time." Cassidy answers, saving her mum from having to do it.

"But we got your favourite beer!" Her mum adds, a way to get him in a better mood and minimize the chance of a drunken outburst. It doesn't always work, but it is always worth a try.

He grunts and rummages through one of the bags as Cassidy and her mum begin to unpack the others.

"What the hell is this?" He suddenly asks, and both women swivel around to see him holding up the bottle of prenatal vitamins they had purchased. They had forgotten that they were there. They forgot to hide them.

"Ya better not be fuck'n pregnant!" He shouts at her mum, his intense glare causing Cassidy's stomach to drop.

Her mum opens her mouth to reply, but her dad immediately moves closer and grabs her neck, pushing her against the wall.

"I'm…" her mum breathes out in a whisper. "I'm…"

"How's it possible? You're too old! And I got that… thing… are ya fuck'n someone else?"

"Dad, stop!" Cassidy yells, rushing over to grab the arm that had her mum pinned. "Stop!"

"Shut up!" He scolds, pushing Cassidy and causing her to stumble backwards into the refrigerator.

"Please…" Her mum pleads, grasping onto her husband's hands to release her.

"It's not her!" Cassidy shouts, grabbing his arm again to gain his full attention. "She's not the one who's pregnant! I am! I'm pregnant!"

His head shoots over to Cassidy, and somehow a small amount of relief arrives. At least his anger isn't fully focused on her mum. At least she can spare her from what he could've done.

"Ya little slut!" He yells, removing his arm from his wife's neck, but holding it on her chest to keep her pushed against the wall. "Can't even b'lieve someone would wanna fuck ya! But ya would be dumb enough to get knocked up!"

"Let Mum go! She was only trying to help me!"

"She what?" He looks back to the woman he has under his hold. He brings both hands up to her shoulders and firmly presses her further against the wall. "Ya fuck'n knew? Ya fuck'n knew and didn't tell me?"

Her mum's breath becomes shallow, still catching up from the hold he had on her neck. She flickers her eyes over to her daughter, and Cassidy's eyes widen in fear. She didn't even realize what she had said, and didn't mean to throw her mum under the bus.

"No, she didn't! She didn't know!" Cassidy attempts to catch the gaze of her dad once again. "I meant… I asked her to stay longer at the store. But I bought them. I bought the vitamins and snuck them in there!"

Thankfully, he turns his head back to Cassidy and stands up a little straighter, still keeping his hold on his wife. And thankfully, he seems drunk enough to believe her half-assed, stressed out explanation. The only upside to his constant drunken state is that he is fairly gullible most of the time. But it's not much of an upside.

"Get the fuck out." He growls, piercing his gaze into her.

"What?" She quietly replies, stunned.

"Get the fuck out!" He yells this time. "Didn't even want ya 'round when ya was born. Not fuck'n dealing with another little brat in my house!"

"But, dear-" Her mum tries to answer.

"Shut the fuck up." He snaps back, finally releasing her and pointing towards their daughter. "Tell 'er she needs to leave! And tell 'er she can't come back!"

Her mum looks over with the most terrified look. Cassidy knows it's not completely due to her husband's actions. She knows it's in fear of what could also happen to Cassidy and her future child. She also knows that it's one of apology for what will happen next.

"CJ…" She states with shaky breath. "I think… I think it's better if-"

"Dad, come on…" Cassidy pleads. Even knowing the environment she lives in, it's her home, and she can't currently think of where else to go, where else she can stay.

"Leave!" He shouts once more, finally pulling himself away from his wife and turning towards Cassidy. She takes a few steps back and he stops in place, now pointing towards the front door. "Get ya stuff and get out!"

Cassidy's mouth drops open in disbelief and looks over to her mum, only to see her head drop as low as it can go.

She moves slowly past her dad, holding her breath in worry that he could hurt her too. She rushes to her room and slams the door shut. Her knees hit the floor and her face falls into her hands, tears already pooling in her palms.

What the hell is she supposed to do now?

She lifts her head and scrambles to grab a bag, shoving in anything she can find to at least last her a few days away.

Maybe her dad will come to his senses and change his mind. Although, the thought crosses her mind of whether she would actually want to come back. She needs to be somewhere where she feels safe.

She takes her phone out of her pocket and opens her messages.

🗨️ Cassidy: can i stay the night? dad found out

🗨️ Cassidy: i'm getting kicked out

She places the phone on the bed, next to her bag, and grabs a few more items before zipping it up. Even without a response, she knows she has to leave the house, and soon.

As she throws the bag over her shoulder, her phone vibrates, and she unlocks the screen.

🗨️ Gemma: come over right now

She opens her bedroom door and walks through the house, finding her mum leaning against the kitchen counter, her face in her hands.

"Mum?" Cassidy whispers, and her mum raises her head. Cassidy's eyes widen as she sees the red handprint across her mother's cheek, and a bruise already forming around her neck. "I… I don't wanna leave you here."

"You need to go, CJ." Her mum responds, a blank expression on her face. Cassidy can't tell if her mum is trying to save her, or save herself. It could be both. It probably is both. She knows there isn't much that the woman can do, but the fact that she didn't fight for her to stay does sting. The fact that she is staying there, with that man, stings even more.

They embrace in a hug, whispering 'I love you' to each other before they hear footsteps getting closer, causing Cassidy to look one last time at her mum before rushing out the door.

As she walks down the footpath, making her way to her best friend's house as quickly as she can, all the tears she has inside come barreling out.

As she shuffles her way up the path to the Styles house, the door swings open and Cassidy finds Anne with her arms wide open.

"Oh, sweetheart!" She exclaims, pulling Cassidy in as soon as she reaches her. "Come on, we'll get you settled in."

"I'm… I'm so sorry to put you out…" Cassidy replies through her sniffles and labored breaths.

"CJ, you know you're welcome here anytime." Anne replies, taking the bag and setting it down by the door. "And you can stay as long as you need. This is your house now too."

[ present day - Christmas Day ]

As always, Christmas morning is quiet. As quiet as it can be with a child this age. But it is just the two of them. It has been that way since Cecilia was born. Cassidy doesn't miss her mornings with her parents, but she does miss the afternoons at the Styles home.

Especially now, with her daughter being three.

"Fank you Mummy!" Cecelia exclaims, running up to her mum, who sits on the living room floor, and tackles her with a hug. It never ceases to amaze Cassidy how grateful her daughter is. No matter what she receives, she treats it like the best gift in the world. She wishes she could give Cecelia more, but it melts her heart to see her daughter so happy either way.

Cassidy's phone begins to ring, so she grabs it from the floor beside her and answers it, putting it on speaker when she sees the name of the caller.

"Happy Christmas Gem!"

"Happy Chri'mas Gem!" Cecelia shouts.

"Happy Christmas ladies!" Gemma replies with a chuckle. "Cece, did Santa visit you?"

Cecelia rushes over to her small pile of toys, grabs one of her new favourites, and brings it to the phone.

"He got me dis!" She holds it up.

"Oh, lovie, I can't see it right now. I should've video called." She states, thankfully unable to see the pout on the little girl's face. "But… if your mummy wants… maybe you can show me later today?"

"Gemma!" Cassidy exclaims, immediately taking the phone off speaker, and getting up from the floor, in an attempt to make the call a little more private. "Don't do that. She'll think you're coming over."

"Actually…" She clears her throat. "We were hoping you'd come over here. Today."

Cassidy stands in place, not certain as to why that suggestion throws her off so much. It's not as if she hasn't been to the house lately. She still goes over often to visit, especially with Cecelia, but it hasn't been for a holiday, for Christmas specifically, since the one four years ago. The one after she and Harry had sex. The one right before he left on that yacht with Kendall Jenner. The one before Cassidy found out she was pregnant.

"Umm… well, it's-"

"We miss you on Christmas, CJ!" Her friend replies with a pleading tone. "We want you here. You know you're always welcome here. We've got presents. And Mum would love to see you two."

This isn't the first time her best friend has made the request for their presence on the holiday. The first year was just too difficult with a newborn baby. Cassidy spent the day nursing, napping whenever possible, and ordering pizza when she had a free moment to eat.

The next Christmas was just after Cecelia turned one, and the first without Robin. She knew deep down that she should be there, for everyone, but the emotions were so high that they kept her away.

It began to feel easier to stay home, just the two of them. It would be quiet, and simple, and not intruding on anyone else's holiday.

"I don't know."

"I hate to beg, but I will…" Gemma states.

Cassidy sighs and looks over to Cecelia, who has gone back to playing with her new toys. Maybe this is the opportunity to give her daughter the fun Christmas experience she hasn't been able to have yet. A fun Christmas with the Styles family, just like she used to have. Her one worry though is that Cecelia will expect it every year. That's not something that can be promised to continue. And she doesn't want her daughter to be disappointed if it doesn't.

Cecelia runs back up to her mum, tugging on her pyjama pants and forcing Cassidy to kneel.

"Mummy, can I show Gem dis today?" She asks with the most persuasive, wide eyes, holding up a set of new sparkly bangles. "I wan' give her one."

As a mum, in general she doesn't want to just give into every request, but the bright, hopeful expression of her daughter just can't seem to be ignored this time. Plus, she's not fully opposed to spending more time with Anne and Gemma.

"Please?" Gemma reiterates through the phone.

Cassidy now also wishes that Gemma had done a video call, because she would love to shoot her a scolding glare, and maybe a few specific hand gestures, at this moment.

"Alright you two. We can go over there." She concedes, causing a laugh from her friend and a squeal from her daughter.

"Come over whenever you want." Gemma states, smug joy clear in her voice.

"We'll see you soon…" Cassidy replies, quickly hanging up and watching as her daughter gathers up an armful of her new presents.

"I'm so e'cited! I ge' see Ms. Anne, Gem, Harry…"

There's a lump in her throat forming instantly at the mention of his name. The last Christmas spent at that house included him, and she has to admit that not being in his presence anymore, especially on the holiday, and especially with a child, could be a minor addition to the reason she stopped going.

But, nonetheless, she has been overruled. And with the sudden, random, and unexpected pleasantness between the two of them now, it could actually be a good time. She really hopes it'll be a good time.

•••

"My girls are here! Happy Christmas!" Anne exclaims as Cecelia runs right into her arms, lifting her up in her embrace.

"I got bangles!"

"Yes, you did! They are beautiful!"

Anne places Cecelia back on the ground, giving her the freedom to run over to Gemma and share one with her. It also gives Anne the ability to wrap Cassidy in a big hug, possibly squeezing every ounce of love she has into her.

"We've missed you, sweetheart." She whispers.

"Anne, we visit loads…" Cassidy replies with a chuckle.

"I know. But the holidays are different. It's not the same without you." She gives a small, sweet smile, quickly rubbing her hands up and down Cassidy's arms. She looks to her side and the small smile turns into a wide grin. "But, maybe I shouldn't complain. Harry hasn't won a family game in a few years!"

"Hey…" He whines as he walks up to both of them.

"Harry!" Cecelia suddenly yells, rushing over to him and hugging his legs. Cassidy would find it hard to believe how quickly she's taken to him, but her daughter is outgoing, and Harry can charm even the youngest of people. That doesn't stop it from being a bit weird for her to see.

"Cece! Happy Christmas!" He kneels down to give her a proper hug, which she curls herself into.

She pulls back and holds out her arm.

"I got bangles!" She exclaims again, most likely not for the last time either.

"Yes you did!" He replies, with as much enthusiasm as she gave. "And you know… I think there's one or two presents for you under our tree, too…"

"Come on, moonbeam. Let's take a look." Anne states, grabbing Cecelia's little hand.

"Moonbeam?" Harry inquires, looking as his mum turns back around to him.

"Yeah. She was born at night, like, right when the moon came out. It was really cool, honestly. So, the nickname just seemed to fit." Anne shrugs.

"How… how do you know when-"

"So, my boss really liked the article. Published it online almost right away actually. So, thank you for doing that." Cassidy interjects, gaining Harry's focus as the curious expression begins to fade from his face.

"Happy to help." He replies.

"Are you…" She clears her throat, looking down at the fingernails she suddenly finds herself picking at. "Are you happy to be home?"

"It's always good to come back when I can be." He softly admits. "I miss everyone, so it feels better when I am home."

"That makes sense." She replies, not that she can really understand that feeling. She never wanted to be home. "It's a good place to come back to."

Her gaze flickers up to find Harry's, once again seeing him try to disguise a smirk, along with a shy smile.

"Do you get to see your folks much? I know they moved away, and you said you just spend Christmas with Cece…" He asks with sincere curiosity, but it causes Cassidy's heart to drop.

He was never at her house when they were younger, and wasn't there when she needed to move into his childhood home, so he was never aware of what had gone on in that household she once had to call hers.

"Oh…" She begins, her mind racing and her heart following the frantic rhythm. "No, we don't."

"That's a shame."

"Mummy!" Cecelia exclaims, grabbing the attention of both her mum and the man she already seems so fond of. "Can we open?"

Cassidy sighs in relief, grateful for the perfect timing of the interruption, and nods as she looks back at Harry. He nods as well, motioning for her to lead the way to the sofa by the Christmas tree.

Cecelia sits down next to the tree, kicking her feet in giddiness, as Gemma hands her the first gift.

"This is from me and Michal." Gemma states, as the little girl vigorously tears the wrapping paper off. She holds up a box containing a little tea time playset.

"Fank you! Fank you!" She exclaims, putting it down next to her and looking at the tree again.

"Alright, little moonbeam. This one is from me." Anne stands as she hands over a pink gift bag.

Cecelia pulls out the tissue paper to find a crayon colouring kit, a great gift since she loves to draw.

"I can colour! Can I open it?" She asks, looking over to her mum with those persuasive, hopeful eyes.

"Umm, one moment Cece." Harry suddenly states, getting up from his position on the sofa and walking over to the tree. He reaches behind it, pulling out two wrapped boxes, and handing the larger one to Cecelia.

"Here you go."

She looks up at him, wide eyed, and begins to open it up. Her expression grows even more when she pulls out the stuffed animal she was gifted.

"It's a… it's a…"

"Brown bunny." Cassidy whispers, seemingly only loud enough for Harry to hear, as she sees his face turn towards hers with a small smile.

"It's just like my ol' one! Mummy look!" She exclaims, jumping up from the floor and rushing over to her mum. "I love 'im! I love 'im!"

As soon as she reaches the sofa, she jumps up in between the two adults, holding the bunny in one arm and grabbing Harry with the other.

"Fank you Harry!" She hugs him tighter and he shoots a glance over to Cassidy, wrapping his arms around the little girl who has unintentionally become so enamored with him. And who he seems to have unintentionally become so enamored by, too.

She giggles as she hops back off of the couch and shows off her new stuffed animal to the others.

Cassidy turns her attention away from her daughter as she hears Harry clear his throat, finding him holding the smaller box out towards her.

"This, umm, this is for you." He states softly, and maybe even nervously, as his gaze flickers between hers and the gift in his hands. "From me… and Gemma."

Her mouth drops open as she looks down at the box, raising her hand, what feels like slow motion. She places it in her lap and begins to delicately remove the wrapping.

She opens the box and gasps as it reveals a necklace. Dainty gold chain, adorned with an oval locket, a small 'C' engraved in the center . She quickly looks over to Harry.

"Open it." He whispers, shifting in his spot with anticipation.

She looks back down and gently pries it open, a few tears forming instantly as she sees two photos of her precious little girl. The one on the left is from the day Cecelia was born, a photo that Cassidy knows was taken by Anne. The one on the right is a more recent one, taken by Gemma on her third birthday.

"Gemma told me you've been wanting one, and she had the photos, so I guess it's not really from me at-"

"I love it, Harry. Thank you." She utters, running her thumb over both photos, as if to draw out positive emotions and the memories of both days. "Thank you so much."

She looks to see his gorgeously dimpled smirk, but doesn't detect any arrogance from it this time around. Yes, it looks like he is pleased with himself, but not for his own ego, and she suddenly feels heat rush over her entire body.

"You didn't have to do this." She states. "I didn't… I didn't get you anything."

His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard, his brow furrowing slightly with his eyes still on hers.

"I wasn't expecting anything from you. I just… wanted to." He shrugs and runs his fingers through his hair. "Especially for Cece, she shouldn't go through life without another brown bunny!"

Cassidy laughs, quickly covering her mouth as she realizes the volume she used. No one seems to mind. Which she realizes is because everyone is comfortable as they are. Here. Together. Maybe this is how it should be from now on.

•••

With Cecelia down for her afternoon nap, sleeping in the guest bedroom, and Anne in the other room on the phone with some family members, the younger adults are all huddled in the living room with wine glasses in hand.

"It's a good thing you weren't here last night, CJ."

"Oh, cheers Gem, thanks." She replies, sticking her tongue out at her friend.

"No, no." Gemma chuckles. "Just 'cause you and Harry always win when you're on the same team! We've been winning since you stopped… coming…"

Her voice fades out and she gives an apologetic smile, to which Cassidy just shakes off. It wasn't their choice to not include her in their festivities anymore.

"I was just doing you a favor."

"Excuse me?" Harry chuckles, turning around to her on the sofa. "This was not discussed with your teammate. Just left me in the dust."

Cassidy gives a polite smile, subtly shooting Gemma an embarassed look, before turning her gaze back to Harry.

"So what you're saying is that I'm better than you?"

"What? No! What?"

The group laughs at his exaggerated defensiveness, clearly a small hit to his big ego, even in a comical manner.

"If you can't win without me, it means I'm the superior player." She smirks, seeing that she is instantly met with his scrunched face and tightly pursed lips.

He crosses his arms over his chest and sits back against the couch.

"I don't like this."

"That's because you're a sore loser." Gemma states, causing Harry to toss a pillow in her direction, hitting the wine glass in her hand and spilling a decent amount onto her.

"Oh shit!" He exclaims, covering his mouth with his fist. "I'm sorry."

She growls as she reaches for a few napkins on the coffee table, and begins to pat herself dry.

"See? A sore loser." She growls again, standing and maneuvering herself around the chairs. "You're just lucky this is white wine, and a black jumper."

"Gemma!" Cassidy suddenly states. "Is that jumper mine?"

Gemma looks down at her outfit, then back up to her friend with her lips pulled inward. Cassidy's mouth drops open slightly, hiding the smile that attempts to make an appearance.

"It is, isn't it?"

"I… well…" Her friend begins to fumble over her words with her own smile coming through.

"You thief! I've been looking for that for ages!"

"Not hard enough!" Gemma chuckles. "I found it right after you moved out of here!"

"Moved out?" Harry utters.

"Alright, since I love you, I'll let this slide." Cassidy laughs, shaking her head at her best friend and taking another sip from her own wine glass. "But I think you owe me a new one."

"What does she mean you moved out of here?" Harry asks, catching the attention of the two friends, whose eyes both go wide at each other before looking over to him. "When… when did you move in here?"

"It… it was, umm… when I got pregnant with Cece." Cassidy replies.

"What?!" He questions, running one hand through his hair, and then the other. "And I just… didn't know…?"

He looks up at her with something she could potentially mistake for sadness. He looks sad.

Why does he look so sad?

"It was just complicated." She responds, swallowing the lump that has suddenly appeared in her throat.

"You weren't here, Harry. Why does it matter?" Gemma adds, forgetting about the spilled wine and sitting back down in her seat across from them.

"It doesn't." He mumbles, looking over to Cassidy through the corners of his gaze. "It's just weird I didn't know."

"To be fair though, I'm pretty sure we mentioned it to you…" Gemma replies, crossing her arms against her chest and giving him one raised eyebrow, as if to strengthen her statement.

"What? When?" His eyes widen.

"When you were on set for 'Dunkirk'." She responds.

"Why don't I remember that?" His brow turns to a frown and he rubs the back of his neck.

"You were busy." Cassidy mumbles, causing Harry to shoot his gaze over to her, firmly keeping it on her face with an unreadable expression.

Anne comes walking back in and everyone straightens up, as if they were teenagers about to be caught making a sneaky plan. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to notice.

"Robin's niece, Amanda, just had her baby. Tonight!" She exclaims. She turns her gaze to Cassidy and smiles. "I could hear him screaming in the background. Not nearly as calm as Cece was that first day in hospital."

"You were there when Cece was born?" Harry asks Anne, subtly flickering his gaze between Cassidy and his mum.

"Of course." She simply states, making her way back to the chair she had previously occupied.

"For fucks sake." He mumbles, moving to rest his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands.

Anne turns to Gemma and begins a conversation about the new member in their extended family. Cassidy can see Harry picking at his fingernails and looks up to see his jaw clenching tight.

He lets out a strong exhale, pressing his palms against his knees and pushing himself up off the sofa.

"Excuse me." He states, brushing against Cassidy's legs as he makes his way out of the living and down the hallway.

Cassidy sits on the sofa, stunned, as she attempts to listen to the chatter between the others.

But the questions she suddenly has swirling around in her head seem to be louder than anything actually being spoken in that room.

Why does he care so much that he didn't know?

She decides to take a moment to herself and check in on Cecelia, so she gets up and walks towards the guest bedroom her daughter is sleeping in.

She cracks open the door, seeing her little girl still sound asleep, and quietly pulls it closed again. As she walks away, a figure in the other guest bedroom catches her eye, and she turns to see Harry sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows digging into his thighs, his hands clasped together, and his gaze fixated on the floor.

He looks sad. Again. Still.

Without her knowing, her body seems pulled into the room and over to him, watching as he sits up straighter and hearing him clear his throat.

"Hey." She utters, moving a few steps closer to him.

"Hi." He replies.

"What are you doing in here?"

He shrugs, and his posture returns to the one he was displaying before she entered the bedroom.

"I just, umm, needed a minute to myself."

She nods and turns around to head back out the door.

"Cass?" Harry's words halt her to a stop, and she swivels on her feet to face him again. He exhales and shakes his head, focusing his eyes back down to the floor. "Why… like…"

He exhales strongly again, and shoots her a quick glance.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Cassidy's body tenses and she sees his body do the same. He's really bothered by it?

She never told him because he didn't need to know. She never told him because, at first, she was embarrassed and ashamed, and wanted as little people to know as possible. Because she was terrified. Because he was busy living his megastar life and she didn't think he would even care to know. Because he had no reason to. Because they weren't even close, at all.

"Harry… I… it's just that…"

"I know you never saw us as friends, but… we, like, grew up together. I figured… I suppose I figured I'd at least know…"

"Well, Gemma said she did try to tell-"

"But you didn't." He interrupts. "You didn't tell me. Fuck… not even at the funeral."

A silence falls on them and both refuse to look at the other. Harry remains sitting, almost hunched over himself on the bed, as Cassidy stands there between him and the doorway, debating whether or not to just leave. However, his sad eyes encourage her to at least offer some sort of explanation. Especially with how kind he has been to her lately. And especially with how amazing he has been to Cecelia.

She saunters over and sits down next to him, her eyes focused on her fidgety fingers.

"Harry, you were starting your solo career, making a movie, then off writing and recording in Jamaica. Plus we…" She swallows the lump in her throat, her thoughts suddenly switching back to the argument they had before she found out she was pregnant. Before she even got pregnant. "We weren't really on speaking terms..."

"Oh. Right." He gives her a small smile as he stands. "You don't need to explain. I guess I just felt a little stupid for not knowing."

He looks right into her eyes, and she feels as if he is trying to read her mind, or have her read his. He gives her another quick smile and turns to walk out.

Cassidy's chest tightens and her hand suddenly reaches out to grab his wrist, causing Harry to stop and immediately twirl back around.

"They kicked me out." She mumbles, wondering if it was even loud enough for him to hear.

"What?"

She sighs, dropping her hand and feeling her heart race. This conversation was not expected. She didn't realize she was saying those words until they came out of her mouth. And she never thought they'd be spoken for him to hear.

"My parents." She clears her throat, trying to take the shakiness away. "They kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant."

He walks back to the bed and takes his seat on the edge again, flickering a few glances her way, but staying quiet.

"That's why I moved in here for a few months. Your mum and Robin helped me so much." She sighs. "They basically saved me."

"Why'd they kick you out?" He asks, a sincere compassion in his eyes as they gaze upon hers. "Sorry, you don't have to tell me."

She clears her throat, not entirely sure what to say, or how much to tell him. They aren't kids anymore, and although her parents are not exactly a subject that she purposefully brings up in conversation, it's also not something she should be so desperate to hide anymore.

"It's alright. My… umm… my dad didn't want another baby in the house. Like, he didn't want to deal with it. With me. With her." She sighs, giving a small shrug as she pulls her lips inward. "He was drunk and-... and kicked me out. I know you don't know this but he was, or is… I'm not sure anymore… but, he was an alcoholic."

She turns her head towards him, expecting a stunned expression splashed over his face, but is met with the sight of him nervously chewing on his lips.

"I, umm, actually did know that..."

"What? How?" Her eyes grow wide and her chest tightens more, not knowing if she should feel angry or embarrassed or relieved.

"Umm… well, I overheard Robin and my mum one night, when we were younger and you were sleeping over." He admits shyly, avoiding eye contact. "I heard them mention it."

"Shit." She mumbles, definitely feeling embarrassment as the leading emotion now.

"Wasn't gossip or anything. They were just worried about you."

Cassidy throws her face into her palms, her mind reeling from Harry's confession of knowing about her dad. And for a long time. Since they were kids.

And she hadn't known that he knew. She didn't even have the slightest clue. She would've expected some teasing, small remarks, or maybe even a cruel joke.

But he never said or did anything.

[ flashback - Sept 2012 ]

Just another day, just another argument, just another reason for Cassidy to run out of her house, grab her bike, and ride as far away as she can from the screaming match occuring inside.

Sure, she can drive away, and sometimes she does, but there's something about pushing the pedals around that makes her feel a little more in control, and a little more free. If she could fly away, she would, but this was the next best option.

She ends up where she usually does, at the Styles home, and she pumps the brakes of her bike on the footpath outside.

However, the comfort she usually feels there quickly dissipates as she sees the one other person who she usually wants to escape from. Harry. Of course.

He is sitting on the front steps, on the phone, and she rolls her eyes when he smirks as he sees her.

He says goodbye to whomever is on the end of the call and stands up, placing his phone in his pocket. Cassidy throws her leg over, off of her bike, and leans it on the kickstand.

"Gemma's not here." He states, as he makes his way closer.

"And why are you here?" She asks, already feeling the frustration build up and ready itself to give sarcastic responses to anything he throws her way. "Shouldn't you be off on some elaborate One Direction adventure across the ocean?"

"Here for a wedding, actually, and wanted to see the family." He glares a little, still keeping that mischievous smirk plastered on his face.

"Who's getting married?" She asks, idiotically assuming it is someone in the circle of people in town that she is familiar with.

"James Corden."

"Oh."

Of course it's a celebrity wedding.

"You know…" He takes a few more steps forward, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "If you want to go, I s'pose I could take you as my plus one."

She immediately scoffs at his arrogance. The way he assumes she even wants to go, and that she'd want to go with him, is ridiculous.

"I'm sure whatever supermodel girlfriend you've got hanging 'round right now would not appreciate that."

"You didn't say no…"

"No, Harry! Get over yourself! Bloody hell!"

"So… why are you over here then?" He asks, chuckling, as Cassidy feels her face get red from frustration.

"I needed to get out of my house 'cause-... I just needed to. So I came to see Gemma."

She accidentally lets out a small sniffle as she feels the tiny drop of moisture make its way down her cheek. She swiftly wipes it away. And then, she sees Harry's expression change to one with widened green eyes.

"Are you crying?" He asks.

Of course she is. Her dad just hurled a bottle of whiskey across the room, shattering it, and yelling at her mum for throwing away something that would be insignificant to anyone else. For just a second, she had the desire to tell the truth. To just let it all out to someone, even someone like him. But that desire only lasted for a second. Why would she ever tell him? He'd probably make her feel worse, or not even care. And why would he, when his life seems to be so glamorous and perfect?

"Piss off. I'm not crying, it's from the wind hitting my face while I was riding over here."

"Cass, I was just asking if, like, you're okay." He replies with a straightforward tone.

"Well…" She raises her hands to tie up her hair, then throws her leg back over the bike and grabs the handles. "I'm fine."

[ present day - Christmas Day ]

"Cass?" Harry states softly, most likely shifting in his seat by the way she can feel the mattress moving. His gentle tone brings her back from the random memory of that random day. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's not a big deal, Harry."

"Well, it's not right that he kicked you out of the one place you should've been able to live." He remarks, a harsh tone coating his words sternly. If she wasn't so emotional, she'd allow herself to actually feel the admiration that's arising at the fact that he seems so protective.

"I wouldn't have wanted to have raised her there anyway." She suddenly utters, her head still whirling from the reminder of her past. Technically their past, since he was, unknowingly, there for it.

"What do you mean? Why?"

"Oh… umm… it's just… it's just that…"

"Sorry. It's none of my business."

"It's okay. It's just that my dad would…" She takes as deep of a breath as possible, considering how shaky they are becoming. "He was always drunk. Always. And… he would… would hit my mum."

"What?" He states between gritted teeth. She isn't sure if she's ever seen Harry that mad before. Not even during their little arguments, way back when. "Did… did he ever… did he ever hit you, too?"

Her throat becomes dry as she swallows the lump that stubbornly won't go away.

"No. I… I got pushed a few times." Anger at the memories, and the fact that she even had to make a statement like that in the first place, begins to boil. Rage is probably a better term.

As happy as she was to get out of that situation, she is furious that scenario even played out in her life. It's actually tragic that the two people who were supposed to love and protect her were actually the ones who did the exact opposite. The ones who made her feel unwanted and unsafe.

Her dad made her life a living hell. No child should see their mum being smacked or punched for no reason except the abundance of alcohol in the other parent's system. No child should experience the fear of what their parents could manage to do to them.

"Cass…"

He stops speaking and as she looks over to him, his eyes burn their empathetic gaze right into hers. A sad whimper unintentionally comes from her throat and tears begin to fall as she shuts her eyes.

Instantly, his palms are on her shoulders and her eyes shoot open again to see concern in his eyes. She immediately feels her chest rising and falling quickly, tightening with each labored breath.

"You're alright. Breathe. Inhale and exhale, yeah?" He states softly, with such comfort. It's most likely due to all of the emotions in the moment, she's assuming, but Cassidy can not remember a time that she's felt that safe with him, or ever. But, again, emotions are high.

She nods, staring into his beautiful green eyes and mimicking his movements as he takes in a deep breath with her, then lets it out. He slowly follows that rhythm as his hands glide up and down her arms.

His eyes stay fixed on hers, not wavering for a second, filled with compassion, concern, and care. She is baffled by how different things are now, and how different he seems to be now too.

"That's better…" He utters, keeping his tone calm and steady. "How do you feel?"

She nods, her mind and body still catching up.

"Stupid question, yeah?"

Cassidy gives him a quick, polite smile, but as her head drops, so do her tears. A lot of tears. She immediately feels his strong muscled arms around her, drawing her into his chest.

"I'm so sorry you were going through that." He consoles her.

"It's alright. It's not a big deal." She manages to utter. "Not anymore at least. I haven't seen them since they kicked me out."

[ flashback - Aug 2016 ]

"Mum, you don't have to do this." Cassidy paces around her living room, rubbing her growing belly, with her phone pressed tightly against her ear. "You don't have to leave."

She hears a sigh on the other end of the line, and her chest tightens. She feels as if her attempts are futile. They always have been.

"CJ, he's my husband. He supports me-"

"He beats you!" Cassidy yells, immediately throwing her hand over her mouth.

"He's… he's gotten better…" Her mum replies, but her voice lacks anything that could convince her daughter that there is any truth behind her statement.

"Mum, please… please don't move away with him. I'm getting my own place, it's small but maybe you-… I need you and I can't…" She chokes back the cries that want to burst out, wanting to be strong and show her mum the sincere plea behind her words. "I can't help you if you're gone."

Her body drops to the couch as her heart begins to break. She knows that the word 'gone' really has two different meanings, and she cannot fathom the thought of it being the more tragic one.

She also knows that this move would truly cut off all contact between them. Since her dad kicked her out, he has kept a tight watch on her mum's movements, and they've only managed to sneak in a few phone calls here and there. Moving away would destroy that last connection they have. Her mum will be lost to her.

"I'll be alright, CJ. It'll all be alright."

[ present day - Christmas Day ]

"Don't-... please don't do that." He pleads, and she feels him bring her just a little bit closer. Into his body and also back to the present again. "Please don't say it's alright. What he was doing wasn't alright."

"I… I know." She replies, and she hears his sigh coming from where his head rests on top of hers.

She never thought she'd be here, telling Harry about her past, and being comforted by him about it. The emotions are definitely getting the best of her. He's managing to get the best of her. Maybe. And at the moment, she is willing to allow it to happen. It's been a long time since she's talked about any of this. She didn't realize that she had been needing to get it all out. Even if it is to the one person she never thought she'd share it with.

"I feel so stupid. How did I not see it?"

"Because I did my best to hide it. It was something I really didn't want anyone to know. At all. Gemma only knew because, well, she's my best friend, and because she was there once when it happened…" She sighs, squeezing her eyes shut firmer as if opening them would take her back to those horrible moments. "She told Robin and Anne, understandably, and they said they'd let me over anytime I needed to. It's why I slept over so often."

"I really wish I had known. I could've helped you…"

"There wasn't anything you could've done, Harry, especially not back then. And it wasn't your job to help anyway. We weren't even friends at the time."

"At the time?"

"What?"

"You just said we weren't friends 'at the time'. Does that mean we're friends now? Or, I mean, can we… be friends now?" His question is full of hope, even though he looks as if he is preparing for rejection. Again. As she takes a moment to consider it all, she watches as a small, cheeky smirk appears as a replacement. "It could be your Christmas gift to me…"

Suddenly, the small, but demanding, voice of Cecelia bursts out from the other bedroom, instantly catching the attention of the two of them. Cassidy gives Harry an apologetic smile as she begins to stand.

He shoots up from the bed, facing her as they both seem to refuse to simply break away from the vulnerable moment they have just been in. Another call from Cecelia booms through the hallway and as Cassidy turns towards the doorway, she lets out a sigh. She doesn't even know why. It's not as if the moment, or conversation, was in any way positive to the point that she wouldn't want to leave. But somehow it felt nice. And maybe, just maybe, it has something to do with the fact that the two of them seem to finally be able to tolerate being in each other's presence. Maybe, just maybe, they can hang out like he used to ask for. She knows for a fact that Cecelia would not oppose. And that's just it. Cassidy wants her daughter to be surrounded by good people, which Harry seems to be now.

"Yes. We can be friends now. Happy Christmas."

Series Masterlist

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hsgucci94 · 2 years

Text

requests are open!

hiii. welcome to the little world of my stories. hope you enjoy them! much love. x

Thighs

The one where Y/N asks Harry to ride his tiger.

Moans & Thighs

Showers & Tea

PART 3 (pending)

Sharing is caring

The one where Harry and Y/N share the bed for the night while secretly having feelings for each other.

One

Two

His weakness

The one where Y/N gets hurt for being the girl of a mafia leader.

"I didn't think you were the type to lose your sanity for a girl,” Wyatt, his right hand, admitted, pouring himself a glass of scotch and sitting in the armchair opposite to him.

"I didn't either," Harry simply replied, looking at a fixed point.

Wyatt chuckled, "Well, I only hope she won't interfere with our business, or she'll eventually regret messing with the mafia."

Harry gave him a death stare, and that was enough to keep his partner silent. "She won't," he stated, now playing with the rings on his fingers, "I would have never guessed she was the type to stay with someone like me, but she is."

"Does that mean you'll take her with you when the time comes?"

"It means I'll do anything to protect her. And I can't do that from prison."

He was doing business with the devil while running from the FBI. And while it was not the ideal lifestyle, it was his, and you were willing to go through it all for him.

Some said you had been brainwashed, others that you had gone crazy, but little did they know that you just happened to have fallen in love with a criminal.

Hurting

Horny

Heartbroken

PART 4

PART 5

PART 6

[ recap page ]

▹ Individual short stories

The ride (AU)

The one where Harry and Bella like each other. The issue? She's his boss' daughter.

Her first

The one where Y/N joins One Direction on tour and decides to lose it to Harry.

Rome wasn’t built in a day (AU)

It’s 1950 and Y/N’s fighting for women’s right and freedom to work, alongside her husband, Harry. But she forgets it’s a long fight that can’t be conquered in a short time, which causes them to argue.

Needy

The one where Y/N’s feeling horny and the car is the nearest place to relieve her.

It was supposed to be a quiet afternoon at home

The one where a quiet afternoon at home soon spices up for Harry and Y/N.

Long day

The one where Harry wants attention but Y/N’s working.

Don’t break my heart

The one where Y/N feels insecure when she sees Harry talking to someone else.

Surprise

The one where Harry makes it to Y/N’s birthday party just on time.

I don’t hate you

The one where Harry prevents Y/N from drinking an intoxicated beverage while they secretly have feelings for each other.

Date night at home

The one where Harry cooks for Y/N.

Overthinking

The one where Y/N feels like hers and Harry’s relationship is just sex.

A safe place

The one where Harry goes to Y/N for comfort.

The ghosts came out to play

The one where Harry and Y/N attend a Halloween party and the ghost of his ex-wife is all over the house.

The sex talk

The one where Harry wants to talk about sex but Y/N finds it uncomfortable.

Professor Styles

The one where Y/N’s summer fling turns out to be her new literature professor.

The frat boy’s girl

The one where Harry Styles might or might not have feelings for Y/N, his much more reserved and geek friend.

What’s not being said out loud

The one where Harry’s got feelings for his best friend but she’s dating some else.

The CEO

The one where you confessed your feelings for Harry, your older boss, but then he showed up at your doorstep.

Office hours

The one where Harry Styles is your part-time boss and full-time boyfriend, which makes office hours interesting.

Sexy mama

The one where you get annoyed because Harry won’t have sex with you because you’re pregnant.

❋ Love On Tour scenarios:

One day maybe

The one where Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N are dating off the spotlight and he gets jealous when he sees someone else (Tom Hiddleston) flirting with his girl.

Crowds

The one where Harry knows how bad Y/N’s anxiety gets in a crowd and offers her to watch his live show from his dressing room.

Pre-show nerves

The one where Harry’s feeling anxious before playing Wembley and Y/N’s there for him.

He’s in love

After Coachella Night Two, Harry can’t help but shower Y/N with love words backstage.

Haircuts and ripped pants

Pretty self explanatory… iykyk

~ Excerpts from books I’ll never write:

Untitled #1

Angst

Getting used to you

Fictional

Fragile

He’s feeling down

Untitled #2

Heartbroken

Take it off

Denim jealousy

Scars

Halloween

Dadrry

Let’s shower

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avatar-anna · 2 years

Text

“I just want to catch up. As friends.”

Hi I wanted to know if I could request something where harry is the one who fucks the relationship up (but no cheating bc we would never go back) and the reader is living their best life and has maybe even slept with a person or two and harry is miserable but they do end up together again and have a happy ending and she forgives him bc she loves him and she's like " I want you. I don't need you. Remember that" anyway sorry if it's not good or whatever. You don't have to do it remember that. Anywho live for your work !! <3

sure!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Just come tonight.”

“I just want to catch up as friends.”

“We can do that, can’t we?”

Those were the things Harry said to you over the phone when he called you out of the blue.

You’d been broken up for about three months. For good this time. Your relationship with Harry was...rocky. On and off. Toxic? No, not toxic, but breaking up with him for the last time was freeing.

After being completely heart broken for almost two months, but you were past that now.

So much so that when Harry called you earlier today, you agreed to his request to come to one of his shows. It had been enough time, and there was a time where you and Harry were close, and you wanted to explore that again. As friends, of course.

So you were at Madison Square Garden, his first ever show there as a solo artist.

Harry promised to take care of tickets, but you ended up buying your own and giving the free ones to your friend and her girlfriend. When you and Harry broke up for good, you were known to the world as “the woman who broke Harry Styles’ heart.” You didn’t need the attention from fans while you and Harry were having this weird, new experience.

The back of the venue wasn’t so bad. Young girls were dressed to the nines and singing their hearts out while you swayed in time with the music. He was so talented, was so meant to be a star. You used to tell him that you couldn’t imagine him doing anything else, which was part of the problem in your relationship.

You never wanted Harry to change, or give up his life for you, you would never ask him to do that. But you wished that just once in a while he would choose you over the music. Not all the time, just a few. The last straw was when he said yes to performing at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, after you’d asked him not to. It wasn’t because you were insecure around models or anything like that, but that he would be around one or two of his exes, some of which you had a feeling would try to take this opportunity to throw themselves at him.

He said he wouldn’t, but caved when his managers urged him to do it. Betrayed wasn’t the right word for how you felt, but something close to that was fitting. It felt like he only cared about his career, that he’d grown comfortable with you not putting up a fight when he had to be somewhere or do something or jet off to another continent at the drop of a hat.

You couldn’t do it anymore. So when Harry returned from the fashion show, he came back to an empty house and a note that explained why you left. You hadn’t really spoken to him since.

Until his phone call. It surprised you, but what surprised you more was how much you wanted to see him. So, going with your gut, you said yes, but on your terms.

Harry was a force on stage, high energy and passion in every note he sang and with every strum of his guitar. He still used the one you gifted to him after he finished his album, and the sight of it tugged at your heartstrings in a way that you didn’t expect.

Getting over Harry was hard, but you did it. He’d been a part of your life for a long time, and letting that companionship go, letting go of the one person who knew every little thing about you, wasn’t an easy feat.

But you did it. You started going out again, seeing friends at bars and brunch tables. You changed your hair, but only slightly, thinking that maybe you just needed to change the person you were with Harry on the outside to solidify that fact on the inside. You worked long hours and volunteered at an animal shelter by your apartment. You were healing, finding out who you were without Harry.

You even made an online dating profile, though you didn’t use it very much. A coffee date here, dinner and a movie there, but none of them stuck. Not that you really wanted them to, you just wanted to see if you could do it. See if you could be a girlfriend to anyone but Harry.

As the night progressed, Harry performed a number of songs. You knew all of them, but it was like hearing them all for the first time now that you weren’t together.

And then he started playing the familiar chords of a song. One that wasn’t on his new album.

“If I could fly, I’d be coming right back home to you.”

It was your favorite One Direction song, and Harry knew that. He used to hum it under his breath whenever you were laying together, or say, “Missing half of me more than usual today, baby,” over the phone while he was away. In a lot of ways, it was yours and Harry’s song, even if he was the one singing it.

You still there in shock, eyes wide as phone flashlights winked on and lit up Madison Square Garden like it was the night sky. You expected him to search for you in the crowd, but he didn’t, just kept his head down and his eyes closed for most of the song. He opened them briefly during the bridge while the whole crowd sang to him, and you swore you saw tears in his eyes, but it was hard to tell because of how far you were from him.

Your suspicions were confirmed when he wiped his eye at the end of the song, but you couldn’t tell if it was because of the touching moment with his fans or if it was you.

The rest of the concert went by in a daze. Harry continued to perform like nothing was the matter, but all you could do was replay that performance over and over and over again.

Your emotions were all over the place, buzzing around inside your body and making you weak in the knees. Doing your best to stay upright, you watched the rest of the concert in a daze.

When it was over, you thought about what to do next. To call him, to text him, to try to go backstage and see him. You had to do something, you just didn’t know what.

But Harry decided for you, his name appearing on your phone screen with an incoming call.

“Ha—”

“You said you would come.”

“I know, I just—”

“No, Y/n, why would you make a promise like that and then just hang me out to dry?” he said with a sniffle. Was he crying? “I—I know we’re not together anymore, but the decent thing to do is tell me if you changed your mind about coming.”

“Harry, I—I came. I’m still here,” you said, feeling breathless for some reason.

“You what? But you weren’t—”

“I gave the tickets to a friend and bought my own,” you explained. “I thought it would be easier to watch from a little further away.”

“You’re here?” Harry sounded hopeful, and you could practically see his eyes lighting up.

“Yeah, I was just deciding what I should do—”

“Come here. Backstage,” he blurted. Pahsing for a moment, as if to contain himself, he said, “I—It would just be nice to catch up, you know? I’ve missed you a lot.”

The words, I missed you too were on the tip of your tongue, but you didn’t let them fly.

You and Harry were walking a fine line. Emotions were running high after the concert, and while he was inviting you backstage with the simple request to “catch up,” you knew that could lead to more. The question was, did you want it to?

Your life had been in shambles after leaving Harry, but you’d since picked up the pieces. You learned how to live a life that didn’t have him in it, and it was a good life, one you enjoyed quite a bit.

“Y/n? Did you hear me? I was wondering if you—”

But Harry was...Well, he was Harry. So charming and so kind and so endearing. If he said the right things, you would cave, and that was what worried you.

“I’m scared,” you said, cutting him off.

“Scared?”

“I’ve, um, I’ve learned how to live without you, and I’m scared that’ll all come crashing down if I see you.”

The only sounds over the phone for a few seconds were heavy breaths and the occasional sniffles, from you and Harry.

Then, in a voice so small, you were surprised it could even be Harry’s, “I haven’t.”

That made your stomach drop. You figured he would’ve moved on by now, that he would at the very least be okay. But he didn’t sound okay. Not at all.

“And—And I don’t want to, Y/n. I still love you. I don’t think I can move on. I’ve tried, but I can’t, I just can’t.”

Fresh tears welled in your eyes. Deep down, you knew that. After hearing that song, you just felt it in your bones that he was still in love with you.

So what did you do now? You’d broken his heart once before, and you didn’t think you had it in you to do it a second time. But you also broke up with him for a reason. A valid one.

And you’d moved on. Not to anyone in particular, but you weren’t the same person anymore. You were more independent, more outgoing. Would you revert back to going along with whatever Harry or his managers planned if you let yourself be loved by him again?

“I don’t know if I could do it again, Harry,” you said, trying to hide the wobble in your voice. “I came second to everything when we were together, and I would never get in the way of your career, but—”

“Do it. Get in the way. Y/n, please. I’ll never make the mistake of making you feel like anything else matters more to me than you do. Just—please. Can you come here? So we can talk?”

You found yourself nodding, wiping tracks of tears from your cheeks as you did so.

That was all you ever wanted from him. To know that you meant more to him than a performance or a writing session or a fitting.

“I—I’d like that,” you eventually said, nerves coiling in the pit of your belly.

“Thank you,” he muttered under his breath, but you weren’t sure if f you were supposed to hear that or not. “Just, um, make your way backstage. I’ll let someone know you’re coming.”

“Okay. See you then.”

You hung up the phone, but part of you didn’t want to, even if it was silly. You walked towards where you’d seen Harry and his band disappear after the show ended. Just as he said, you were let in without any fuss, and when you rounded the corner of a dark hallway, someone was at the end of it. It was dark, and all you could see was a silhouette, but you would know it anywhere.

Subconsciously, you picked up speed, letting your legs carry you quickly to where he was waiting. And when you were close enough, you launched yourself at him, cradling the back of his head with your hand while he squeezed you as tight as he could.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed, his shoulders shaking with the sheer force of his crying.

You held him tight, letting him get all of his emotions out before speaking. You were sorry too, of course. Leaving him the way you did wasn’t right, but you were so hurt, you felt it was the only way to make him understand. And you worried that if you tried to break up with him to his face, you wouldn’t have been able to do it. So you took the cowardly route.

When the shaking mostly subsided, you leaned back far enough to hold his face in your hands.

“I forgive you.”

Harry’s smile was watery and weak, but it held hope, and you were sure you looked about the same.

Carefully, you lifted up on the balls of your feet and leaned in, pressing the gentlest kiss to his lips. It was short and sweet, but held every little thing that you couldn’t find the words to say.

Harry was quick to shake his head. “No. I’ll never be busy when it comes to you. I promise.”

“Are you busy right now?”

That was a pretty big promise, one that you weren’t sure if he would be able to keep, no matter how much he may have wanted to.

But you were okay with that. He meant it, and you believed him, and you just wanted to be in his arms again.

You’d moved on, and it was a fine life without Harry. You would be happy living without him, perhaps even better off, but you didn’t want to live without him. So you took his hand in yours, kissed his knuckles, and led him out of the venue, hoping against all hope that following your heart would lead you to a greater happiness.

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