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cuffmeinblack · 6 months

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Bound in Blood

Sebastian Sallow x f!reader

6.1k words

Summary: After several years, Sebastian is invited to visit by your betrothed, upending the cosy little life you've made for yourself with Ominis.

ao3 link

A/n: I started this ages ago after writing Old Habits as a what-if involving infidelity, which then evolved into a vague idea about a blood kink. It turned out as neither. I enjoy exaggerating Sebastian's darker traits, so I hope you know what you're getting by now. Reader is an arsehole, Ominis deserves better.

He had you pinned to the wall once again, though this time you didn't belong to him—your body was not his plaything anymore. You told yourself as such in an attempt to stave off the lustful hunger that rose like bile in your chest and the ache that settled between your legs. The words were superficial, the truth hidden just below the surface; you wanted him, still. After everything he'd put you through, your heart still ached for Sebastian Sallow.

It wasn't that Ominis was a poor partner, far from it. You loved Ominis deeply, and if the man in front of you simply didn't exist, you felt you could live a long and perfectly content life alongside him. But Sebastian did exist, and he knew exactly what to say; to worm his way into your brain, plant a seed and let it grow and flourish until everything else was deprived of thought and there was only him. Only his idea, his words that filled your consciousness every waking moment and invaded your dreams.

Be mine again.

You'd been down this road once before and had your heart not only broken but shredded, left to Ominis to gently mend. His tenderness and unconditional love had seen you through your darkest days as Sebastian galavanted around the city without a care (or so you bitterly assumed). But there remained a missing part, a gaping hole nobody else could fill.

So here you were against the wall. Your living room wall. You could scarcely believe he was here, and at the invitation of your betrothed, no less. He truly hadn’t changed a bit, neither outwardly or inwardly it would seem—Ominis would be disappointed.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Sebastian,” you said bitterly.

“Don’t pretend to be disappointed. I saw your eyes light up when I arrived. They looked so dull before…what has our dear Ominis been doing with you?” he teased, stroking a finger down the side of your cheek.

You didn’t give him the satisfaction of flinching away, only staring into his dark eyes with a bored expression that belied your racing heart. If he felt your pulse or caught the deepness of your breaths he’d know you were lying.

“Does Ominis really give you what you need?”

“He does. He loves me, Sebastian. And I him.”

“What we had was deeper even than love. We bled together. He doesn’t know the true depths of your depravity, does he?”

He was far too close. The grip around your wrist was already starting to ache and numb your fingers with its ferocity, your wand hand utterly useless. You weren’t scared of Sebastian, not exactly; the niggling uncertainty of that thought thrilled you as your body reacted to the adrenaline.

“Get off me, Sebastian. I don’t need your sick and twisted version of love.”

“I’ll ask you again; does he give you what you need? Not what you think you want, but what you really crave? I’ll bet he doesn’t hurt you, not even when you ask him to. No, he’s too good for that; too fucking pure.”

“That’s…not all there is to life. There are more important things than…”

“What could be more important than baring your soul to one another? Your innermost desires, hm?”

Don’t listen. Sebastian was a Siren and you his unwitting victim. A Veela with no shred of remorse, with the power to lure with a look and a beautifully deceptive song. You loved Ominis, and your heart ached with guilt for simply being in this compromising position.

“Ominis will be home soon,” you deflected, turning your head away from him.

Your eyes darted over his arm braced against the wall, his freckled forearm tanned from the sun except for a thin white scar that ran across the topside of his wrist—a memento of your time together. Sebastian sighed as you refused to meet his eyes, releasing his palm from the wall to turn your head.

“I only answered him so I could see you. It’s been a long few years,” he said.

“You should have known I wouldn’t want to see you...”

“That’s not true,” Sebastian snarled.

"You left, Sebastian."

"I regret that every day."

"Did you think I'd just wait around, hoping you'd come back?"

"I didn't think you'd fuck my best friend, that's for sure," he spat.

He sighed, seeing the pain in your eyes as the memories of his departure flooded your mind once again. Those days had been dark, the nights even darker. The only light a dim flame in the form of Ominis which grew brighter with every passing week. He hadn't managed to extinguish the gloom, but had made the path ahead navigable, more bearable.

"I'm sorry."

The apology shocked you, and the sincerity even more so. Sebastian was adept at manipulation but not even he could have feigned the shake in his voice and the glaze of his eyes. Your stomach churned, a turbulent sea that swelled when he touched your cheek. His calloused hands warmed your skin as you instinctively leaned into the touch. How quick your body betrayed you in his presence. Every fibre of your being felt compelled to fall into his arms on the sliver of hope that this time would be different. The thought faintly disgusted you, disappointed by your own weakness and Sebastian's own willingness to hurt his former best friend. You'd hesitated too long, and he'd grown impatient, taking your failure to pull away as consent.

Sebastian honed in quickly, the way he did in battle with swift, precise movements that left little time for retaliation. Your defenses had dropped and he'd taken advantage, capturing your lips before any protest could leave them—not that there was one forthcoming. He felt and tasted familiar and comforting despite everything, even the lingering taste of liquor coating his tongue. His hands barely landed on your waist before they were roaming your body, his weight pressed against you. The hum of deep satisfaction he poured into your mouth spoke of a longing that you echoed as your fingers found that fluffy brunet mane.

Tongues met in a breathy caress, fingers kneading and pulling as if trying to absorb one another, body and soul. The swirling guilt in your gut was almost crushed by the heavy swell of desire—almost. Ominis' words he'd spoken to you years ago came to the forefront of your mind whilst Sebastian was busy making short work of your blouse buttons.

"Let me be your comfort; my heart already belongs to you, all I ask for is time to earn yours."

Your lips froze, body ceasing its response to Sebastian's touch. The sudden frigidity halted his advance, eyes flickering open and lips departing. He pulled away merely an inch, eyes boring into yours in question.

"I can't. I can't do it to him."

Sebastian didn't have a chance to respond with an argument or plea, or whatever he had planned, before the click of a lock jolted you both into action. Your fingers fumbled with your blouse, hastily rebuttoning it whilst Sebastian tended to his hair. He was still far too close, apparently unwilling to part further than a hair's breadth. You slipped away, across the wall and towards the front door to greet who you presumed to be Ominis. Sebastian didn't follow, his scent fading as you made your way down the hallway.

"Ominis, you're back…," you said, hesitantly grasping his hand in welcome.

The remorse of what you'd done felt like a lump in your throat you were unable to swallow, making your voice sound strangled, pitched, guilty. If that were true, Ominis didn't pick up on the change in tone, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek as he pulled off his suit jacket. He stretched as if his body had been restricted by the fabric, finally free to relax. Or so he thought.

"You sound surprised, my love," he commented.

"I'm more surprised that Sebastian is here."

Ominis' eyebrows shot into his hairline; clearly he hadn't been expecting the visit either.

"Since when?" he asked, walking down the hallway.

You fell in behind him, watching him fuss over his shirt collar. As if Sebastian would care about such a thing. Mumbling something about Sebastian's sudden arrival as you entered the living room, until silence fell once more as the tension thickened and then curdled. Ominis must have recognised something; perhaps his scent, which now clinged to you like cigarette smoke. They stood in one another's presence for far longer than was necessary, neither deigning to speak first until you couldn't stand it any longer.

"Sebastian only got here about half an hour ago."

"Indeed. It was nice of you to receive me," Sebastian said with a piercing glare in your direction.

"You came," Ominis said, disbelieving. "If I was honest, I hadn't thought you would."

"Then why write?" Sebastian said with a hint of amusement.

That seemed to pull a small smile from Ominis, and the pair greeted one another properly. They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries whilst you stayed in the background, but never ignored. Sebastian found it so easy to act as if nothing has happened. He'd come with the intention of stealing you away, shredding the last chance of rekindling his relationship with Ominis. Yet here he sat in your house, with your fiancé, sharing details of one another's lives. Had he given up so easily? Or was this merely a sickening ploy to gain access to your lives; to you?

The evening passed with no further misdeeds, only pleasant, if not slightly stilted conversation. One thing became apparent whilst the two men talked—they were very different people. Shaped by years of opposing decisions, their differences so obvious in school were now glaringly so. You wondered if Sebastian would visit again. This encounter had been close to disaster—too close. When Sebastian finally left, you vowed never to make the same mistake again.

3 days later

You wished Ominis would stop mentioning Sebastian. Every time his mouth uttered the name your chest would tighten and an overwhelming urge to run would wash over you. He'd asked you over and over how you felt about the meeting, and so far you'd only managed to mutter a ‘fine’ or deflect the question. By now, Ominis had realised that inviting him back into your life was a mistake, though perhaps not for the reason he thought.

Sebastian had managed to slither into your consciousness and lodge himself there like an unwelcome parasite, feeding off whatever uncontrollable longing you still held for him. The tumbling thoughts refused to be banished even as you made love to Ominis, unable to stop the constant comparisons. Even his dexterous fingers couldn't coax you back to reality, nor the skillful flick of his tongue. The swirling guilt returned with a vengeance as you came undone imagining a certain brunet nestled between your legs. It tore at your heart how much Ominis cherished you; his gentleness had been such a balm when you'd come to him with open wounds. After Sebastian. You let the tears fall after your orgasm ebbed away, silently, with Ominis none the wiser.

“Are you okay, my love?” he said softly into your neck.

His warmth enveloped your back, pale arms flecked with beauty marks wrapped tightly around your waist. You'd loved those marks, still did—but now you thought of myriad freckles on tanned forearms, scarred and roughened. Imperfect. Just like you.

“I am. We should get ready for work,” you replied.

Ominis groaned in assent, reluctantly relinquishing his grip and slithering off the bed with a parting kiss to your cheek. You smiled despite yourself, missing the embrace as soon as it was gone. Settling into your morning routine was easy; showering together, dressing beside each other, eating breakfast by the window. Ominis enjoyed the sun warming his skin as he sipped his Darjeeling. The scene was idyllic, and it filled you with sadness. When had this become not enough? The answer was obvious. Three days ago. Amongst the lure of the unknown, heady passion and danger, the monotony of your safe little life full of love felt suddenly stifling.

“I'll see you later. I may be a little late if the Minister is doing the rounds,” he said, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

Before his lips left your skin, you turned your head to kiss him properly, messing up his neatly knotted tie in the process. As your lips locked as they had a thousand times before, you felt as if it were for the last time. A desperate clinging to what had been that no longer satisfied. You could have wept then, and you did once he'd stepped out of the door.

Sitting and staring out of the window, it took you far too long to muster the energy to stand. You'd be late for work if you lingered any longer on your dark thoughts. You were slipping on your cloak when the roar of fire caught your attention, the crackling from the fireplace all too familiar with the green glow that filled the room. You crossed the room to the fireplace, now settled in a gentle flame and burning embers. There was a face waiting for you; strained, unwelcome, beautiful.

“Sebastian. What's wrong?” you asked, crouching at the hearth.

“You can tell?”

“Of course I can.”

Sebastian hummed, his eyes flicking away for just a second before returning to you with a plea, evident even in the flickering mirage.

“I need a favour.”

“Ominis just left for work…”

“From you.”

“What is it?”

“I need to retrieve something important and I could do with some backup.”

“Backup? Are you expecting trouble?”

“Perhaps,” he said vaguely. “It's at my old home. I haven't been back for a while, but there's something of Anne's I want to retrieve…”

His voice trailed off and the silence enveloped you. You should have said no, that this was none of your concern. You had a job to get to, a fiancé to return to at the end of the day. This was a request from Sebastian, though, and you'd never been good at denying him anything. A vague thought crossed your mind that made you shudder; that he was merely using you and your formidable power as a means to an end, but you buried that along with the rest of the reasons you should have denied his request.

“I'll help. Where shall I meet you?”

His smile tugged at your heart; that particular smile he used when he got his way. Soft and somewhat cheeky that widened his eyes and caused a swell of something you'd fought hard to deny.

“Colliers Street. I'll see you soon.”

With that, he was gone, leaving you with a cold chill despite the still lit fireplace. A flick of your wand extinguished the last of the embers and you stood, hastily fastening your cloak and pulling on sensible shoes for whatever Sebastian had in store. It wasn't likely to be anything mundane. The thrill was what led you to the front door, the curiosity pushing you past the threshold. Down a flight of stairs you fled, around a corner to the brick alleyway where you vanished with a crack, a pull into oblivion, reappearing in a not-all-together familiar part of the sprawling metropolis. You thought you recognised the terraced houses, the height of Muggle architecture with their bay windows and pillared porches; however, the city looked the same wherever you roamed. This street had a hint of impropriety, and more than a little dirt underfoot. Where the fallen women roamed and men of dubious morals stalked.

You spotted him a little further along the pavement, black hood pulled forward despite the daylight. Clearly he didn't want to be recognised by anyone else, and you wondered if whatever business he had might have been better suited to nightfall. He turned to greet you before you reached him, a small smile playing on his lips. You caught the impression of smugness, something he so often carried.

“Why have you dragged me here?” you asked, not speaking his name.

“You don't sound pleased.”

“I'm not.”

“Then why did you come if not for a little excitement in your humdrum life? Surely that office job is stifling enough to warrant skiving off once in a while?”

“You talk as if I do nothing but sit on my behind all day and lament your absence,” you said dryly.

Sebastian merely smirked and cocked his head to indicate you follow, which you did, hot on his heels as he wound his way down the street and slipped into a side alley. Decidedly worse for wear than the one beside your own house, he finally dropped his hood to reveal the mop of fluffy brunet hair and pointed to a door.

“My old flat.”

“You're being watched?”

“Perhaps.”

Further you followed, through the shabby wooden door and up a staircase clad in broken tiles that crunched beneath your feet.

“You lived here?”

“I did, for a while. It hasn't been as cushy as yours and Ominis' years of domestic bliss.”

You noted the bitterness in his voice and felt the twisting pull of pity. Sebastian was brilliant, capable of achieving so much, yet reduced to almost squalor. Despite being exonerated from a sentence in Azkaban, he'd carried a reputation with him ever since. No reputable employer wanted him, and so his bright mind had turned to disreputable sources of income. The pity turned to anger at the injustice of it all.

“Dare I ask who we might expect? I need to be prepared…”

“Men who won't hesitate to kill on sight,” Sebastian cut you off.

“Merlin, what have you gotten yourself into?”

The door to his flat creaked open, not even locked. In fact, the lock looked blasted open. The inside was in a slightly better state than the entrance hall, but still bare and unwelcoming. Windows had been broken, what little furniture remained torn to shreds.

“They've been looking for something,” you commented.

Whoever they were.

“They didn't find it. That's long since gone.”

Sebastian led you through the small rooms to an even smaller bedroom, only distinguishable by the old mattress propped against a wall. He held up a hand for you to wait, casting charms about the place before finally crouching down and waving his wand over a floorboard, no less striking than the rest. You were on high alert, ears pricked and hand twitching as he ripped up the board and delved underneath, retrieving whatever he'd been looking for in a closed palm. The small object fit neatly into his pocket. You didn't have a chance to look, or ask him what it was, before the ambush began.

The wards around the property stopped you from apparating, essentially trapping you both in the murky house as the barrage of red and green light flew from the staircase landing. They had found you, and Sebastian had been right; the jets of light crackled with the familiar energy of unforgiveable curses. You backed into the room and found him, his arm clutching you firmly in place behind him. He was shielding you. If your life hadn't been quite literally in danger, you could have kissed him. Instead, you aimed your wand at the bedroom door and braced yourself for the onslaught.

The thud of footfalls spoke of four or five pairs of shoes all thundering up the stairs. Upon the first wand peeking around the door frame, Sebastian relinquished a full force Bombarda at the unsuspecting attackers as you threw a shield charm around you both, deflecting the debris with ease. You worked so seamlessly together, as if a singular mind, so in tune with each other's duelling styles. A dance; a ballet of destruction. What remained afterwards was nothing less than a ruin, a pile of bodies in the hallway and blood; so much blood. Some your own, some Sebastian's, most from the men you now poked disrespectfully with your foot.

“You got what you wanted, we should leave,” you panted.

Sebastian looked at you in reverence with darkened eyes, a menacing glint now fading with the passing seconds of tension. The inappropriateness of it all was startling, yet you couldn't deny the overwhelming attraction you felt as he stood in his black garb, wet with the blood of his enemies. He reached out, sensing what you could barely acknowledge, and stroked a thumb over your brow. The sting as he pressed the calloused skin spoke of a wound you'd need to attend to, and sent a shiver of pleasure down your spine.

“I'll take you to where I live now,” he said, leaving no room for debate.

As you left the flat and stepped through the wards, he laced his fingers through yours and turned on the spot, pulling you with him as he apparated. The intense adrenaline still rushed through your veins, coupled with the stress of apparating had you almost bent over as soon as you landed. That same pesky hormone had your feet taking you into another flat, straight into Sebastian's waiting arms, and inevitably his bed. You didn't have much time to take in the decoration, or utter the endless questions you wanted to ask, before he'd claimed your mouth in a kiss that felt like the end of all things. There could be no going back, not now. You'd had a taste of Sebastian and reacted like an addict; he was the purest opium, irresistible and deadly.

As his tongue flicked over your bloody lower lip, you parted your lips for him, your twinned moans meeting to harmonise in each other’s mouths. He maneuvered you backwards, losing patience with your stumbling steps—wrapping his arms under your behind, he picked you up and carried you straight to his bedroom. His mouth stayed firmly on yours until he deposited you gently on the firm mattress.

You watched him flick the clasp of his cloak open and throw the sodden fabric to the floor. Now you saw the product of your expedition. Where his clothes were bone dry and clean, the areas that had been exposed bore the truth. A nasty red gash tainted his freckled face, and you grimaced to see his beauty so marred. Holding out a hand, you beckoned him next to you, and he took the invitation. Your cloak followed shortly, and with more heated kisses exchanged the rest of your clothes were peeled away from aching muscles.

"Remember when we'd finish clearing an Ashwinder camp…,” he reminisced, dragging his lips across your collarbone, “...you’d be covered in blood. Some of it was yours, and I knew it by the taste.”

He nipped lightly at your skin as he travelled to your shoulder, his hands roaming to cup your breasts with a hunger that made your head spin.

“The other, thicker, darker blood was Goblin blood. Disgusting, but somehow delectable on your skin. You looked fucking magnificent...when I licked your wounds. Do you remember?”

You nodded and shuddered with unrestrained arousal as his tongue swiped across the tender flesh on your arm; a Diffindo not quite dodged. The gash stung and prickled with the wet pressure of his tongue, and you watched with rapt attention whilst Sebastian licked the wound clean, humming all the while. His cock grew hard, throbbing, and neglected.

“I remember,” you gasped.

Sebastian’s hand finally slid down your stomach, parting your legs with a gentle nudge. It had required so little effort that he smirked against your skin.

“Sebastian…”

Fingers parted your folds, your head dizzying with desire. He finally looked at you then, lips stained with blood; ragged and dishevelled but utterly alluring. His digits dipping into the well of slick arousal that betrayed your desperate need.

“You were always so wet for me afterwards.”

A whine left your lips and he pushed inside you with little ceremony, drawing a loud moan from you that must have been heard several houses down. Your walls fluttered around his fingers already, legs spreading and back arching to accommodate more of him. Curling and stroking, he brought you to orgasm within seconds. You’d missed him so much, every part of you ached for more. He’d barely let the final wave of release roll over you before he knelt between your legs, his weeping cock proud and deliciously inviting. The thought was coupled with a squeeze of your hand around his girthy length, giving him the suggestive look through fluttering eyelashes that you knew would send him wild with lust.

“It’s been so long since I’ve tasted you,” you sighed.

“There’ll be time for that later.”

Sebastian clearly had other ideas as he wrapped his hand around your wrist and squeezed hard, forcing you to let go of his cock with a high pitched yelp of surprise. He didn’t stop there, roughly pinning both wrists against the mattress as you squirmed against his iron grip.

“I’m going to fuck you senseless,” he growled against your neck.

The room filled with your keening, hands twitching uselessly against his hold. Your hips rose to press against his stiff length; an invitation, or a plea.

“Please…”

“Say it again,” he breathed, cock now prodding at your entrance.

“Please, Sebastian. I need you.”

The voice didn't sound like yours; faraway, quiet and breathy. You were almost unaware of the words whilst caught up in a lustful haze. Sebastian's blood-stained face loomed over you, watching intently as he slid inside you. Every gasp and peak of your eyebrows, the flutter of eyelids as your eyes almost rolled back inside your head. All committed to his memory as he stretched you inch by inch. It was ecstasy, and the ultimate relief to feel him fill you again after so many years. You nuzzled against his neck and took a deep breath, moaning softly as the musk filled your nostrils.

“Fuck, I've missed you,” you sighed.

Sebastian responded with a growl, letting your hands free to grab a handful of flesh at your thigh and deliver a hard thrust inside you. Then your eyes did roll back inside your head, the dizzying force met with your ear splitting moan.

“Of course you missed me,” he breathed, rolling his hips again. “Nobody fills you like I do.”

Crude, but accurate. Perhaps he'd meant a deeper meaning, but he'd still be right on both accounts. Your hips rose to meet him at the top of his thrusts, moving together effortlessly as you'd done so many times before. Nothing had changed, yet everything had. Sebastian was hardened, grittier, and he showed it in the way he pleasured you. The intensity of his gaze would have frightened anyone else, but you simply absorbed the fiery stare, letting him consume your every thought. The chocolate brown irises remained unchanged, reminding you of the boy you'd fallen for and the innocence he'd lost.

Your fingernails dragged down his back, hard enough to draw blood to match the collection of crimson gashes on his body. His bedroom filled with salacious moans as he fucked you hard into the mattress, his rhythm faltering the closer he crept to his release. You weren't ready for him to finish, not by a long shot. He didn't relinquish his control lightly. With a well-placed thumb, you squeezed the still-bleeding gash on his shoulder until he hissed in pain, finally letting you push him back onto the bed.

The glint in his eyes never dulled, only shined brighter as he watched you lick your thumb whilst clambering into his lap. He welcomed you with open arms, gripping your waist to guide you back onto his cock. Sinking onto him made you gasp with renewed pleasure as your fingers threaded through his brunet strands. Tugging his head backwards, you began to roll your hips, angling yourself just right to hit that sweet spot deep inside you. Sebastian responded with a gravelly moan, tugging you down to drive you harder onto his cock.

You settled into a rhythm, fucking him slow and steady as your mind slipped into blissful delirium. You're were moving by instinct alone, focused only on Sebastian—his touch; every delicious sound he made; the heady scent of sweat, blood and sex. Being with Sebastian felt better than it ever had, not only physically, but the connection between you was undeniable. Completely vulnerable, you'd given yourself to him, and he to you. Your souls entwined when your eyes met, an unspoken truth passing between you. This was no mere tryst or meaningless romp; you were making love, and certainly not for the last time.

Sebastian's soft lips peppered kisses along your neck amongst flicks of his tongue and searing bites. He licked your skin of blood, origin unknown, whilst making wounds of his own for you to cherish.

“Shit, don't leave a mark there…,” your weak protest came, not meaning a word.

“Why not? You're mine.”

You gripped him tighter then, taking a shuddering breath as his words slithered into your ear and trailed a path of heat straight to your core. There was no denying the fact, even amongst the sickening guilt of what you were doing to Ominis. Ominis. Sweet Ominis who had suffered more than most and deserved more than what you'd been able to give him. You almost cried, until Sebastian saw the fear and doubt on your face and kissed you hard, giving you a much needed distraction from your guilty thoughts. You reciprocated eagerly, gasping for breath between brushes of lips.

“I'm so close…fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, his eyes shut in a silent prayer.

“Seb…”

“Keep going, just like that. Come on, darling.”

He gave your arse a hard smack that made you whimper and summoning the last of your energy, you brought him to the edge and pushed him over with a hard bite on his bottom lip. The tang of blood lingered on your tongue as Sebastian met his release, his cock twitching inside you before he exploded. A final thrust from below sent you hurtling along with him, your orgasm hitting so hard your legs cramped and limp body fell forward onto his chest. He filled you with his cum, pulses releasing thick streams into your cunt until you could take no more. Every wave of pleasure that rippled through you seemed to draw yet more from Sebastian's cock until his lap and your thighs were covered.

“So fucking good…” Sebastian was mumbling.

You had to agree. You slumped against him as your orgasm ebbed away, tired eyes taking in the scene you'd created. It was messy, grotesque, and perfect. Both covered in blood and sweat, it reminded you of those days you'd tried to forget; except the aftermath spent with him. Years spent pretending and hiding your true nature had unravelled in mere days.

“We should clean up. I need to take care of this,” you said, gently probing the sliced skin on his cheek. “At least I killed the bastard who did it.”

“There she is. The fire in your eyes is back,” he said, angling your chin with a firm hand to face him.

You sat entwined as you both worked on each other's injuries. Wand in your hand, you ran the length of his cut with your tongue, earning you a rumbling groan from his chest. A chaste kiss, and you withdrew, pointing the tip of your wand at the seam of flesh.

“Vulnera Sanentur.”

White threads of magic wove their way through the air, pulling the skin taught as the wound healed before your eyes. Healing spells were somewhat a specialty when you'd been through as much as you had. You repeated the process on every cut you saw and Sebastian did the same, until your bodies were whole again. The deep purple bruises inflicted by one another were another matter. They were to be treasured. Next came a shower, and discarding of bedsheets and clothes. Your skin shined, squeaky clean and glowing as you pulled on your clothes, minus the blood-splattered cloak. When you'd finished dressing, Sebastian was waiting, perched on the edge of the bed.

“Stay. Don't go…,” he said, pulling you by the hand to situate you between his legs.

You looked down into his deep brown eyes and your heart almost burst. Tracing his freckles with your thumb, you thought and searched for an easy answer, finding none.

"What about Ominis?" you asked, tears welling.

"What about us? I'll never leave again, I swear it. I'll make an unbreakable vow to prove it to you. Anything.”

“You broke me when you left last time. Ominis was there to pick up the pieces.”

“And I'll be forever grateful, but you belong with me. Do you love me?”

“Of course…yes, I love you.”

Sebastian nodded, guiding you backwards before standing up and striding to a small writing bureau in the corner of the room. You watched him curiously as he rummaged around in a draw and produced something silver, glinting in the light streaming through the window. A knife. A letter opener. The handle was ornately engraved, the blade thin and sharp. You watched him twirl the instrument in his fingers as he approached, your heart thumping wildly.

“What are you…?”

“I'll make a pact. A blood pact. Seems appropriate for us, doesn't it?”

Before you could acknowledge his suggestion, he'd sliced open his palm, the deep red blood welling and pooling at the thin slit. He squeezed his hand shut, droplets splattering to the floor.

“You would do that?” you whispered.

“It works both ways. We swear ourselves to each other. An oath to never leave. Consider this my proposal.”

You thought that perhaps this was insanity as you took the knife from him. You'd finally lost your mind. There were a million reasons not to proceed, but all paled in comparison to the one reason to agree standing in front of you. The blade sliced through your palm like butter, parting the skin to release the deep red blood you needed to make this a reality. Sebastian smiled softly and held out his hand, now completely stained and you took it without further hesitation. He spoke the words out loud to bind you together forever, and you echoed him. You watched in awe as droplets of blood rose in the air and mingled into a single drop; a silver phial materialising around it, signifying the end of the ritual. The precious container fell into your uncut hand, and Sebastian's forehead fell against your own. You stood in silence, breathing together, for as long as it took the cuts on your hands to stop bleeding.

1 week later.

Ominis deserved better. That much was clear as you'd packed your belongings and left a note for him to find upon returning home from work. There was nothing to be gained from heartfelt pleas. You didn't think you could bear to see his heart shatter before your eyes. And so you'd taken the coward's way out. You wondered how he'd taken it, whether he'd suspected anything at all. At least now he could find someone worthy of his love.

You shifted your weight as you waited impatiently for Sebastian to appear, squinting into the dimly lit pub from your perch outside. Your wand hand twitched as a towering figure passed your view, but it was a false alarm. Just another enebriated patron. Standing guard outside the seedy establishment whilst Sebastian made shady deals for artefacts from even shadier traders was quite a change in lifestyle from the Ministry office job you'd held but a week ago. It wasn't necessarily better or worse, only different; satiating another part of you that had always existed, snuffed out until Sebastian's return.

You saw the brunet appear from the back room and meet your eyes with a small nod, indicating a job well done. Even through the fog of the window, you noticed his dilated pupils and unmistakeable flash of crimson on his skin. Saliva pooled in your mouth as you followed him with your gaze. He appeared next to you a moment later, pressing you against the cold stone wall of the pub with a searing kiss, his cock already twitching against your leg. He'd make love to you that night and let you tend to his wounds, washing the blood from his skin with an intimacy nobody else could possibly understand. Of all the terrible things you had done and would do, you had each other through all of it. If there was one thing you knew to be true, it was that you deserved to burn and bleed together.

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow smut #ominis gaunt

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gallyg · 5 months

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Top 5 Amanda moments

Thank you Anon, I love an excuse to think about Amanda more.

5. Game over (Saw II)

Amanda had the best "game over" in the franchise, and I'm tired of pretending she didn't. Cool as Saw I's twist was, Saw II packed such a stronger punch for me, shitting all over Eric Matthews (rest in piss) and laying down the foundation for Amanda's worldview as the Jigsaw killer. And also that outfit gives me feelings.

4. Amanda kidnaps the Pederson Project (Saw X)

I am not immune to seeing my blorbo rampage around like a horror villain and reflexively pointing at the screen while screaming in primal joy. Which I did. Shawnee Smith described Saw X as "a love song" for the Amanda girlies, and I really feel it in this sequence. Amanda's rage is obviously a big part of her character, but I don't think that aspect has ever been portrayed as lovingly as it was here. A top-shelf Amanda moment for the modern age.

3. "I'd go for the neck, but I'm not the brain surgeon." (Saw III)

It's honestly wild to me that this scene almost didn't exist at all. It's one of the funnier scenes in the franchise, but it also does a lot to humanize Amanda. Before Saw X and Saw VI, this was the origin of cunty Amanda, and I love it. We get a great look at Amanda's wit and personality before casually revealing that Amanda built the Shotgun Collar herself, which also changes the perception of her character quite a bit. Not bad for an exposition dump!

2. Reverse Bear Trap (Saw)

Like, obviously. This is the trap. It's classic Saw ambiance. The most tense trap in the original film despite being the only one anyone survives. The expanded version of the scene from Saw III only made me love it more.

1. Fix me, motherfucker! (Saw III)

Amanda was already my favorite character after watching the first two films on repeat for a year straight, but her speech to John at the end of Saw III really elevated her to permanent brain worm for me. To me, this was the climax of the franchise. Everything led to this moment. Not to sound like everyone ever describing their favorite thing, but genuinely: the music, acting, and writing in this scene is perfect. It's cathartic, it's tragic, it's heartbreaking.

#amanda young #thank you for the ask!

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dramallamas · 4 months

Text

Rewatching Beyond Evil and I’m taking (somewhat) unserious notes! Enjoy my brain worms.

Episode 1 || Next Episode

Ooooo dead body

Mad to think that when I first saw Jihoon’s actor he was playing a bully. This is a complete 180 and he does both roles well.

Intense middle aged running with intense music

(Spongebob style) Flashback~

Ah a church. You will never catch me there

The song they’re singing is oddly fitting to the theme of the show sans the whole God thing

We don’t stan Dongsik slander in this household.

Lee Dohyun <3

The signs in this flashback. The shot of the guitar pick, Kang Jinmuk being seen a lot but in the background, Bang Juseon being rude to Dongsik, Dongsik telling Yuyeon to leave at night (aka he had “motive”) etc

Lee twins crumbs I love it.

The cold filter when Dongsiks mum finds yuyeons fingertips nice touch

The title being “(to) Appear" mwah nice

Love the shots of how everything is “worse”when we transition to Dongsik now

Oct 11 2020 remember that me

HERE HE IS ITS JUWON

Dongsik saying stop in english <3

Pls the dramatic slow mo 🤣

Dongsik is a true justice/law upholder. Never letting things slide if its wrong. He and juwon are alike in that sense.

“Many a mickle makes a muckle” netflix what does that mean???? Like i get it but ive never heard that saying in my life

Everyone turns to see Juwon par Dongsik… that is until he speaks.

Juwon judging people and things right off the bat. Bro is not amused.

Technically Juwon is higher rank than Dongsik because Dongsik is assistant inspector and Juwon is flat out inspector

Dongsik immediately knew something was up as soon as he heard who Juwon’s dad is.

Juwon’s first impression of Dongsik is that he is intelligent and follows the law like rulebook when dealing with people (ofc he also thinks he is a murderer and should avoid someone like him and has already decided he hates his guts)

The tension starts as soon as Juwon drives past Dongsik. They immediately are making notes on each other

YOO JAEYI MY GIRLBOSS BELOVED. She is so much more clever than people give her credit for.

Jeongje and Dongsik being best friends…

OH JIHWA ^^

I love the manyang crew interactions.

“He’s not my type” not now… but he will be. you have no idea whats coming for you, Dongsik

Ew Hna Kihwan

I love these dinner scenes with Juwon. They so clearly reflect him and his attitude at the time as well as his relationship with his dad as well as how they change over the show.

아버지 and not 아빠 really emphasises the father-son relationship they have (or lack thereof)

Their first interaction and they already dont like each other.

Everyone sucking up to Juwon and trying to work with him and hes like yeah… no. Y’all are weird.

THEN GETS OFFENDED WHEN DONGSIK SAYS HE DOESNT WANNA WORK WITH HIM LMAOO

so hes like… two can play at this game bitch and calls Dongsik a nutjob.

Their reaction when Sangbae pairs them up is top tier

Juwons inner thoughts: “Day one… fuck my life”

Dongsik started teasing Juwon off the bat

They both have a super impressive memory wtf

“There are no secrets in this town. You are always being watched by someone.”

Dongsik nags Juwon about his aggressive driving and immediately drives aggressively because he can

Ah the reed field…

Juwon traipsing through the mud was me last week when I had to walk home (our area flooded)

We dont give the score for this show enough credit its so good like

“Why did you just stand there when a gust of wind was coming? You’ll learn once it slaps you in the face.” Metaphorrrrrrr

Juwon is already accusing Dongsik like 40mins into the ep like damn

Fresh out the shower dongsik is so yes.

Juwon in that white jumped is also a yes.

Mate respectfully I don’t think you got how relationships work. “People at my school or in my hometown want to be my friends by showing me unwanted kindness or attention. But at get-togethers they all talk about what I have or my connections. They gossip and laugh about it. In the end they all come to me for favours.” Dongsik is right in asking “Is it that simple?” Because it isn’t. (I will make a full post about this omg)

“What could you possibly have that makes you think you are the most important person in the universe?” THE MEANINGS OMG

Man gets so offended when people are like you have mysophobia then ends up roped into a get together.

Juwon trying to text a fake excuse to get out of the get together is so me because I have done that (its the anxiety for me)

Juwon is so awkward bless him.

“You’re supposed to stay glued to your partner all day, and know the colour of his underpants.” Dw Jihoon Juwon will learn ;)

Everyone clapping for Jinmuk and calling him the most important guy in manyang…

Juwon not liking his dad being brought up and Dongsik joking about it to diffuse the situation and also poke at Juwon

All important scenes happen when it rains.

Juwon quickly learns to not believe what dongsik says half the time XD

“I don’t want you to like me.” “It’s up to me to like someone or not.”

“Leave before you get caught.” What interesting phrasing Dongsik

Ah yes the Juwon and Hyeok brother dynamic. I find it interesting and think its an underrated Juwon relationship.

Hyeok trying be Han Kihwans son and Juwon is like “dont. Trust me.”

We mention Dongsiks wall of notes and stuff on the Yuyeon etc case but we dont talk about Juwons enough. Mf has two. Two fricken boards. One he makes in his closet (?) above his computer and the other next to his bed.

The! Score! Ugh im a lover

It takes a whole day to get to the reed field this time??? Cause he arrived in the morning (i assume) at the police station and then the sun is set by the time he gets there. I think he may have procrastinated bc of the mud or he actually arrived in the afternoon and the sun sets ridiculously early in late october?

Juwon getting jumpscared by Dongsik again XD

I love how this episode brings us full loop to the start of the episode but includes Juwon the second time to add fresh perspective and the aftermath.

Juwon’s step back and shaky hand is a give away that he knows her and Dongsik immediately picks up on it. Yet Dongsik tells Jihoon to leave knowing this must be a secret.

And Juwon doesn’t miss a beat when Dongsik says its a woman. They’re both one upping each other all the time

We give Juwon shit for constantly grabbing juwons collar/shirt but Dongsik did it first! (And it was hot because he smooths out Juwons shirt after) Juwon just copied and repeated.

And Dongsik quickly realises why Juwon is in Manyang and decides to just play with him and be a little shit.

Mate you guys are at the first ep and already in each other’s faces

Ok fin see you next episode ^^

#this is my fourth rewatch #and first time in 2024 #this helps me write the fic and remember what was what and how they felt #jwds #괴물 #kdrama #beyond evil #han juwon #lee dongsik #my ramblings

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obsidiancreates · 1 year

Text

The Algae Is Always Greener On The Other Side (Part 3)

(I try to do age math in the opening. Don't @ me if it's all wrong all that matters is I think by the end of Season 4 the 2012 crew are freshly 19. On AO3 this is split into 2 chapters so if it's too long for you here you can check over there, same title same username)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wait, weren't the episodes we were watching of you also called 'Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?'" Angelo wonders, tapping his chin as he stares at the screen.

"Maybe ours inspired yours," Raph says, slightly proud of the concept. "We're older, aren't we?"

"... Are we?" Mikey asks.

They all go quiet.

"... So we're in 2022 in our world," Donald says. "Nardo and I are sixteen, Raph is eighteen, and Angelo is fifteen."

"You're all different ages? Whoa, trippy..." Mikey looks at them with wide eyes.

"They're also years into the future!" Donnie checks his T-Phone. "Let me see, we- yeah, we're in 2015! You're about seven years ahead of us!"

"So you are older," Leon says slowly.

"I- well, yes, but- for us, we turned 15 in 2012-"

"Wait, so your Mikey wasn't just saying that? You're all quadruplets?" Raphie looks at Raph. "So then who's the-the big brother?"

"Leo," three of the duller colored clan turtles chime in unison.

"Generally we agree, i-in terms of hierarchy if not actual ages, that Leo is oldest, Raph is second oldest, I'm third, and Mikey is youngest." Donnie points to each brother as he goes down the list. "But we're all 17 now, I think maybe closer to 18. I uh, stopped keeping track of our Mutation Days once we started dealing with aliens and crime bosses on the daily."

"You are all nearly 18," Splinter confirms. "I know we have not celebrated in a few years now, but I am still keeping track."

"So... where does that leave us?" April O'Neil asks, looking around. "You guys'd be 25 in our time, but you haven't even left the 2010's yet! I mean, I was like, 11 in 2015!"

"This is hurting my brains, dudes!" Mikey groans, slumped against the couch. "Let's just start the show alreadyyyyyyyyyy!"

There's a general murmur of agreement, and the show begins.

On screen, it opens with a shot of a manhole cover, a song beginning right away.

Rise of theeee- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

"WHOA!" Mikey scrambles closer to the screen. "DUDES, IS THAT YOUR SHELLRAIZER?!"

"Turtle Tank," Donald corrects, pride practically pouring out of him. "And it has multiple smaller vehicles inside of it."

"I wanna ride in it so bad," Mikey says in a sort of joyful whimper of longing.

"Uh, do those guys have fire on their heads?" Leo points out.

"Oh, yeah. They just do that, don't worry about it," Leon waves off.

Heroes in a half-shell, turtle power!

"Interesting," Donnie says quietly. "I wonder why that lyric is consistent across our shows?"

Rising up against evil, paint the city green! Raph is ready for a fight, Leo's making a scene!

Leo snorts. "Well, if that doesn't lay out our differences perfectly, I don't know what will."

"I don't know, Leo," Raph says. "You sure love making a scene of going solo."

"Yours does it too?" Raphie looks both relieved and horrified.

"Oh yeah. Sometimes Fearless Leader here is more Fearless than Leader."

"Hey!"

Mikey's got mad skills, Donnie rocks machines!

"See? I told y'all I got the squills!" Angelo rocks happily in his spot.

With each other they discover their destiny and rise!

"Destiny?" Leo looks at them. "You guys have a destiny?"

"Had. We kinda handled it already, twice!" Raphie punches his fists together.

"I think we're kinda destined for stuff too, dudes," Mikey says. "Just like, I don't think our destiny is totally sure what it's for, either."

"A wise observation, Michelangelo," Splinter praises. "It could very well be you are destined simply to protect, whatever that may mean."

"Hey, not to cut the philosophy lesson off," Raph says, "But I see a hippo in a suit and a worm with hair in that ball of villains."

"And a... pig in a cook's hat?" April looks over at April O'Neil.

"Oh, you'll see eventually," April O'Neil assures. "I think. If yours started out at your first big life-changing adventure, I think I know where ours is about to kick off."

Cowabunga!

"YOU CAN DO WHAT?!" Raph springs out of his seat! "Holy shell! You- did you just make yourself even bigger?!"

"Can make mystic clones of myself now too." Raphie puffs out his chest. "Just apart of being awesome!"

"Look Leo, other you made a portal with his sword!" Mikey shakes Leo. "Dudes, you're like our M&M games, but real!"

Donnie blinks at the screen and then looks at his counterpart. "Was yours also magic, or just-"

"Incredible tech, and yes, the fire is a custom color created by my custom-made fuel." Donald buffs his nails against his shell. "Appearance, is half the battle. I do use mystic quite a bit nowadays, but I'm never ashamed of using pure tech for so long."

The song ends, and a scene opens on two goons with small dogs strapped to their chests chasing a mystic animal of some kind. Someone knocks over a bunch of small flags on stands, which scatter across the path of the goons. Instead of barreling through them, the goons expertly tiptoe through the flags without knocking over or even brushing against a single one.

"Well, that about sets the tone for your universe, doesn't it?" Donnie sinks into the couch.

"Only about half the time," Donald corrects. "Other times things do get... intense."

"We just don't live in the same constant gloom as you all," Splints says. "We actually get to have some nice times every once and a while."

"I am glad to hear it." Splinter seems genuine in the statement. "The hardships we face are so rarely tempered by fun or rest. I am glad not every version of my sons must endure them so regularly."

On screen, the animal continues fleeing, resulting in a bit of chaos as it runs. It gets cornered by the goons, and suddenly teleports away! The scene shifts to a rooftop at night, with some sort of shady deal going on.

"I don't remember this," Raphie says, scratching his head. "I do remember the goons, though."

The camera pans up, and then closes in on the silhouettes of The Turtles. Bits of their colorful accoutrement are visible in the shadows- well, relative shadows.

"Your world is so bright even at nighttime," Raph grumbles. "How do you ever hide?"

"We don't usually bother," Donald says with a shrug. "I believe I remember this, but it had nothing to do with whatever mob deal was going on down there. I don't think we even knew that was happening."

"What were you doing then?"

"Wait and see, Other Me."

The Screen Turtles all leap down to another ledge on the building. Screen Donald's techbo opens up with a claw, and he fires it at a building across from the group.

Donnie's jaw drops. "You- I- it- how?!"

"SCIENCE!" Donald cackles. Sure, his mystic-charged wooden bo is fine, but he does miss his beautiful techbo more often than not. But like Shelldon, it just feels too soon to make a new one.

The Screen Raphie asks for an All-clear from an unseen (but obviously by voice) April O'Neil. They get it, and they zipline across the cable Donald had shot out just moments before. There's an intense shot of them ziplining at high-speeds, fast and action-ready music playing behind them.

"It looks like Super Robo Mecha Force 5!" Mikey stares at the screen in delight.

"Yeah, our show is totally taking some stylistic inspiration from anime!" Angelo holds up a hand, and his whole family high-three/five with a whoop.

"You mean there's more cartoons like Super Robo Mecha Force 5?" Mikey whispers, awed. "Dudes, I need to visit your universe!"

"We all do!" Leo looks the most excited they've seen him since his own show showed a few clips of Space Heroes. "We've been looking for a good new cartoon!"

Angleo rocks even more, excited! "Oh, baby, do we have choices for you! And if you want some movies too, we've got Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim!"

"Jupiter Jim?"

"Um, only one of the best low-budget sci-fi movie franchises ever!" Leon grins at Leo. "We are so going to find a way to send you guys them, that Space Heroes show makes me know you'll love it!"

Raph groans, but Leo literally squeals in excitement. His family all share fond looks around him. He hasn't really been this excited since... well, it's just nice to hear his geek-out squeal again, even if it doesn't sound quite the same as it used to.

On Screen, the mob boss laughs evilly over his money, it shows the turtles again, and... they zipline straight over him.

"Hey, um. Do you ever find out what that guy is up too?" April checks.

"Never seen him before ever." "I'm already forgetting his face." "I don't think so." "Nuh-uh."

"Right. Just wondering."

Instead, they unhook from the line just over a rooftop pool! They drop one by one, each saying a part of the word "Cowabunga" as they do! They cannonball into the pool, and April O'Neil films it on her phone and whoops, even as she's hit with the entire pool's worth of water at incredible volumes of force. All it does is knock her glasses askew.

"What I wouldn't give for our world to have those physics," April groans.

"Ha! You must be this rad to ride that ride!" "Uh, based on our velocity and entry angle, IIIII concur, we rad!"

The duller colored clan burst out into either laughter, soft giggles, or amused smiles at the face Screen Donald makes.

"Okay, maybe your weird expressions aren't that bad," Raph concedes, chuckling a little. "But they're still stupid."

"Ah, just like your overly-large feet, then."

"You little- no, you know what? I'll give you that one." Raph shrugs. "You probably stub your toes way less often."

April O'Neil praises their stunt, and Raphie praises her for being their 'girl with the plan'. Leon praises her for having the keys to the roof while also stealing said keys off of her. Angelo suggests they go bungie-jumping at a public park next, and April O'Neil agrees, putting down a 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign first, as well as a 'Dry pool' sign.

"Well, that's... thoughtful. I think." April gives her counterpart a small and uncertain grin.

"It's not like it costs nothin'," April O'Neil waves off. "They fill those pools up for free!"

"Well, obviously," Donnie says. "Our world isn't that messed up. Ha-ha, could you imagine a world where water isn't free? How horrible would that be?"

They all pause. They feel like someone is looking straight into a camera somewhere with a tired expression (it's the Author).

Back on the Screen, April O'Neil asks Donald if she can hitch a ride. With a statement of "No probles", which makes Mikey laugh and his brothers groan knowing he'll start using that now, Donald turns around. His purple metal shell opens up with a seat and handlebars, and April O'Neil plops onto it as Donald takes off!

Donnie's eyes are giant and watering in what is also a very anime-fashion. "That is so cool, and so, so unfair."

"I'm sure you'll be able to build tech to my standards someday Other Me, he said completely genuinely and not at all to spare the other Donnie's feelings."

Screen Raphie, as he follows his brothers, looks over at a construction site. He spots the animal that was being chased earlier, all alone, shivering and whimpering. He's so distracted by the cuteness and his heartbreak for the little creature that he slams into a wall very hard. Luckily he recovers almost immediately.

"You don't leave the little guy, do you?" Raph leans forward in his seat.

"Of course not!" Raphie is offended by the mere suggestion. "Mayhem is an important part of our family now!"

Raph visibly relaxes at that.

"He's a big softie for animals," Mikey whispers loudly to the colorful clan. "For some reason they love him."

Raphie tears up now. "They do?"

"Yeah, like, almost every animal we meet instantly adores him."

Raphie starts crying, big streams of water pouring down his face while he sniffles. "Good for you, man."

"Whoa, whoa, what's with the waterworks?" Raph looks concerned. "What'd Mikey say?"

"Hey!"

"Animals don't tend to be very nice to Raph," Angelo explains, giving his older brother a hug. "Even Mayhem still isn't."

"What?!" Raph stands up. "But you're like this, giant spiky teddy bear! If I squeezed you I half expect a squeaky toy noise to come out of you!"

"It might," Leon says. "Actually, sometimes all of us do that. Like how you guys sounds like rubber when you move."

"Point is, there's no reason animals should be afraid of him!"

"I think it's my fear stink," Raphie says sadly. "Or my seeing-cute-animals stink. Maybe my worried-about-rejection stink."

"Well, whatever it is, I'll help you figure it out." Raph says it with a growl and a scowl, like he's vowing revenge instead of vowing to help someone get better with animals.

Raphie sniffs. "You-you mean it?"

"I can't have some version of me wandering around his universe with animals hating him! What if you find your world's Spike and can't even take him home because he won't let you? I won't let that happen!"

Raphie sniffs again, the streams of tears disappearing as he wipes his eye. "Thank you, man."

Raph plops back into his seat. "Yeah yeah, thank me when it works."

Screen Raphie jumps down to try and help Mayhem, startling the poor creature as his incredible mass makes a loud 'boom' upon his landing. He starts cooing at Mayhem while his brothers watch, and then laugh at his attempts. He claims that pets love him, and Mayhem viciously attacks his face and shreds his mask. Mayhem then jumps into April O'Neil's arms and begins showering her in affection.

Raphie sighs sadly again, and April O'Neil pats him on the back. "Hey, he'll come around sometime," she assures with a soft smile.

"Yeah, especially since I can already see where that went wrong." Raph flicks Donnie on the head, and when Donnie yelps and turns around to glare at him, he snatches a notebook and pen out of Donnie's shell. He writes down a few notes, and rips the page out to hand to Raphie. "Try these next time you see the little guy."

"You could have just asked," Donnie seethes.

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't get to steal it off of ya."

"Grrrr!"

"Thanks, Tiny Me," Raphie says, pressing the page close to his chest. "You're not as mean as you pretend to be."

"Um, he just stole from his brother through violence," Len points out, sliding up from behind Raphie with a slidewhistle sound.

"But he did it to help someone!" Raphie grins. "So it's a good foundation!"

"Yeah, tell that to yourself," Donnie mumbles, rubbing the back of his head. It doesn't hurt still, but it's the principle of it.

Back on the Screen, All of the characters wonder what Mayhem is when The Goons show up. The Turtles all, somehow, hide themselves entirely behind April O'Neil at the sight of humans as Raphie says to initiate Plan H. They all pop back out, and Leon begins speaking in a strange meant-to-be-a-stereotypical-nerd way, asking for directions to a sci-fi convention.

"Why don't we just do that?" Mikey demands, pointing at the screen. "Hello, like they said, we even sound like rubber! I could say I'm a mascot!"

"Do you really think any humans in our world would believe that?" Leo asks, raising a not-eyebrow.

"... Alright, fine. But we should still try it someday! If we do get caught."

"Which should be never," Splinter reminds sternly.

Screen Angelo also does a fake-nerd voice, and Donald pops in using his own voice and completely flubbing the lie. Leon tells him to make it to rehearsals.

"How could my own son be so poor at acting?" Splints laments. "I suppose it is on me, for failing to pass down the most important lessons of all..."

"I think the 'teaching how to defeat Shredder' lessons were more important, actually," Donald says.

"Hmm. You just say that because you are embarrassed, Purple. But don't be! We will begin acting lessons alongside ninja lessons as soon as we are home, with other Blue joining us!"

This is met with mixed reception.

"Give to me creature. How you say, ah... pretty please. Or I'll destroy you."

"His name wouldn't happen to be Steranko, would it?" Donnie ventures.

"Oh, these guys ain't actually human," Raphie says. "They're yokai."

"Wait, yokai spirits are real in your world? We pretended to be yokai once, but we've never met any real ones."

"Oh yeah, yeah, we're part yokai," Leon says with a grin. "That's what mutants are for us."

"I wouldn't call yokai spirits, though," Angelo adds. "Just sort of, mystic people animals!"

Back on Screen, Raphie threatens to defend April O'Neil, and April O'Neil threatens to defend her friends if the threats continue to threaten them. It's as long-winded as it sounds, in an amusing way. After making Donald insecure about his voice, the goons transform into their true Yokai forms in a big show of purple lights. Their tiny puppies become hellhound-like creatures, and they carry mighty weapons with them! The Turtles are stunned, until-

"Soooo... you guys from Jersey?"

Leo lets out a single sharp laugh. Mikey reaches out to Leon for a fist-bump.

Screen Angelo is disappointed in Leon's joke, which Screen Leon defends as a coping mechanism. Raphie says it just means they can finally use their weapons, using the word 'ahoy', which prompts Screen Donald to lament that they were saving that for a ship-based adventure.

"So, just making sure I understand this right," Donnie says, "You've never used your weapons before, including during training?"

"Well, we didn't so much as train as uh, watch Lou Jitsu movies and copy the moves," Raphie says with an embarrassed chuckle as he rubs his neck. "And a few online video tutorials."

"You did not train your sons at all?" Splinter aims a narrow gaze at Splints.

"Oh, excuse me for wanting them to be children for a few years," Splints says with a roll of his eyes. "I do regret my repeated absence from their lives, deeply, and for failing to prepare them when they were of the right age, but I never regret raising them as children rather than warriors!"

"They need to be warriors to survive! The world is not a kind place for creatures like them, like us!"

"Exactly! I was already dealing with my ex-lover kidnapping me to be a battle slave, and then being turned into a rat! They were dealing with growing up hidden in the sewers and being strange turtle-human hybrids! I did not want to pile onto that! So action movies were their sensei, and I told myself I would train them properly when the time was right! ... And by the time it was right... the forces against us were much farther ahead."

The room goes quiet.

Silently, privately, everyone wonders if maybe neither Splinter did things right, or wrong. If maybe, there's no true good answer to the problem. Raise them as normal kids, and they'll never make it. Raise them as warriors, and what parts of them do make it may not be the parts they need most.

But no-one voices it aloud.

So the show plays on.

The fight begins, and true to the colorful clan's assurances when watching the duller clan's own first battle, it's a disaster. Donnie's techbo doesn't work as intended, though thankfully Mayhem retrieves it through teleporting, which distracts Screen Donald long enough for him to be hit very painfully. Angelo and Raphie tag-team the one that attacked Donald, while Leon makes a quip to the other about ruining cannonball day and goes for an attack. His katanas are broken instantly.

"Ugh, been there too many times to count," Leo groans. "Sensi must replace our weapons at least twice a month each. More for Donnie."

"It's wood! How am I supposed to keep it in good condition if it's wood?!"

"That wasn't a dig, D, I was just saying!"

"Yeah, bro! You're a statistical outlier."

The duller clan all freeze, eyes wide white discs as they stare at Mikey in shock. He has his eyes closed and a pleased smile on his face.

"How do you know what that is?" Donnie marvels.

"How do you think I keep track of which pizza places are worth ordering from, bro? Most of them are Great to Passable, but there's a real bummer place on that one corner, the one as clipped the streetlamp with the Party Wagon that one time? Total. Statistical. Outlier. I didn't know pizza could be that bad!"

The staring continues for a bit, and then they all wordlessly look back at the TV. Donald gives Mikey a thumbs up form the other side of the couch, which makes Mikey smile.

On Screen, Leon throws his little sword stub at the villain and keeps fighting, dodging hits and claiming he doesn't need weapons to beat them because of his rad skills. As he says it he runs up the side of a cement truck, flips off- and lands on his neck quite painfully, collapsing into a heap of limbs.

The dull clan all scream, and Donnie is up and checking Leon's neck in a second. "How did that not break you neck entirely?! Did you get throat damage, any loss of mobility-"

"Whoa, settle down there mi hermano!" Leon pushes him away. "I'm fine, that kind of thing happens to us all the time! Just another difference in our worlds or something!"

"Oh. Okay, okay. Good, I-I think." Donnie hesitates, and then goes back to his seat. Leo rubs his brother's shell, giving him an understanding look. Throat injuries and Leos... not something Donnie can take lightly.

On Screen it cuts to a shot of Raphie being punched, and then telling Angelo to go 'ninja mode'. They both slink into the shadows of the construction site, and it closeups on the villain... who points them out right away because they did not hide well.

"You guys are better at that now, right?" April checks.

"Way better." Raphie is cringing at seeing his past self try to hide behind the skinny metal beam. "Funny, I didn't realize how much progress we really made in such a short time."

"I'm very proud of you boys," Splints says (which makes Donald sparkle and giggle in utter blissful joy). "Not for this, this is very embarrassing. But for how you have grown from this!"

Screen Raph, meanwhile, is shot at by a beam of mystic energy from the villain's sword. He lets out a funny little yelp and announces plan doube-B, making Angelo whoop and pop into his shell. Raph throws him at the villain, who catches Angelo easily. Angelo pulls out his nunchucks with a grin and starts swinging! And hitting! Himself. As the chucks doinks uselessly off of the villain's arm.

"Hoo, this is worse than I remember," Angelo says, covering his eyes a little. "I guess I get it from storytelling, showing how we start off and all, but this is rough!"

Screen Angelo, covered in bruises and bumps from his accidental self-assault, is then further injured by the villain tossing him away with a mystic bubble then crushing his nunchucks. Raphie tells the villain to 'pick on someone my size' and a bell dings like it's a wrestling match. The villain just snaps his fingers and has his dog attack Raph instead. It bites Raph's head, throws him around, and then tosses him clear across the construction site. To add insult to injury, it vaporizes his sai.

"Um, can we turn this off, actually?" Raphie looks for a remote. "Raph's not enjoying this anymore."

"No, no, this is where I come in again!" April O'Neil beams.

Indeed, on screenshe begins throwing bricks and threatening the villains. They don't say a word, just make a mystic bubble around Mayhem to prevent the poor creature from teleporting away. April O'Neil holds into the bubble as tight as she can, but the villain blasts her away with mystic energy.

"I have the agent, and the vial!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." April O'Neil rubs her chin and looks down. "I should probably ask Barry what that meant, huh? Because if Mayhem's a secret agent of kind, I need to get him a medal."

But no medal comes for Screen Mayhem. Instead the villains activate some kind of rune and open a portal on a lone out-of-place brick wall, making the turtle all exclaim in awe. A bike riding pizza boy, for some reason, rides through the construction site... and right into the portal. No-one stops him. He falls a long way down the tunnel, and Screen Angelo shouts as Screen Leon makes an "Ooy" sound. The villains run through with Mayhem... and April O'Neil follows them! Raphie tries to jump through after her, but it closes!

"Wow!" April looks at her counterpart. "So you chose to get involved, and I was sort of... thrown into it. How weird."

"But it looks like you dealt with it good!" April O'Neil gestures to the tessen in April's pocket. "You even got a weapon!"

April smiles. "Yeah, well... it helped to have such good friends supporting me through it."

The colorful clan all "Awwww" as the duller clan all blush and Splinter gives her a proud smile.

On screen, Raphie shouts 'April!' as he sits up with a large bump on his head from hitting the wall. Leon says she's probably okay because there's no 'April bits on the ground'-

"Blech!" Mikey shudders at the thought. The colorful clan all see a little thought bubble rise from his head showing a notebook-sketch-like imagining of his own April going through a wall and coming out like paper shreds on the other side, making Mikey whimper at his own imagination. But none of the duller clan react to the disturbing visual, so they either can't see it, or have see such things very often (it's the former).

-and Raphie shouts to ask April O'Neil if her bits are on the other side of the wall. They all wonder where she went, and Angelo looks at the symbol and realizes they know it. The image of the wall fades to show a messy shelf, and Angelo comments about it being 'Splints's do not touch cabinet'.

"Dudes, our Splinter's whole room is a do-not-touch zone!" Mikey wringles his not-nose as the screen shows Splints watching some kind of Japanese game show, but it's not in any sort of negative emotion, just... surprise. "He lets you go in there?"

"This is the living room," Donald corrects. "We'd never go into Splinter's room willingly, but yes, when he's sick we have been in there on occasion."

"Yours gets sick?" Raph's eyes go wide. "I've never even seen our Splinter sneeze!"

Splinter gives a proud chuckle. He's not some fully-infallible being, they all know it, but a lot of human sicknesses don't seem to affect his family at all, and he's mastered the art of silent or imperceptible sneezing- a must for ninjas living in a very dusty New York.

The Screen Turtles start wondering how to get the item from Splints, and Raphie decides to try and get him out of the room. They all slide (literally) in front of the projection of the show, bowing slightly. Raphie asks for the living room in a bright voice, and it cuts to show Splints laying in his chair covered in crumbs and drinking a whole carton of milk with a straw.

"Splints leaps to his feet, standing on the couch. "This show is a outrage! I am not-"

He's stopped by skeptical glares from all of his children, April O'Neil included. He sighs and sinks back down. "Fine. Maybe I do look like that." He looks at his own hands sadly. "... But it is hard to take pride in your body when it is... this."

One the other side of the couch, Donnie watches Splints with sympathy. He knows how that feels.

"We love you, Pops," Raphie assures, bringing his dad into a big group hug. "No matter how many crumbs your robe is full of."

Splints sighs and smiles a little, hugging back the best he can. "Thank you, my sons."

On screen it's... less heartwarming. Splints laughs at them for even asking for the room, claiming he thought 'Purple' is the funny one, which Donald agrees with in a flat tone. Donald then offers to hook it up for Splints to watch in bed, but Splints declines because his butt is asleep in his preferred fashion.

Splints glances over at his other self, expecting a look of intense judgement. But Splinter mostly just looks... curious, possibly trying to figure out how the two ended up so different.

Screen Splints waves the turtles out of the room and laughs at his shows, so Raphie begins forming a new plan. He's interrupted by-

"Leon's got it!"

"You call yourself Leon?" Leo looks at his counterpart. "Why?"

"Why don't you? We can have more than just one nickname, my friend! A little variety, spice up the identity! Better than- what'd your Raph call you? Fearless Leader? Oh, man, that nickname is bad! It just adds pressure!"

"It doesn't add pressure, just annoys."

"Whatever you say, Other Me." Leon leans closer to Donald. "It totally adds pressure, I know it."

"Oh, definitely," Donald whispers back with a nod. "But what's a Leo without an inability to voice lapses in confidence?"

"Don't make me point out your fake confidence, Don."

"It's not fake, I'm astounding."

"So why do you turn into a puddle of happy goo whenever Dad says even the most bare minimum nice thing about your inve-"

"HEY LET'S STOP INTERRUPTING THE SHOW ACTUALLY-"

"I KNEW IT!"

On screen Leon reminds his brothers that their father passes out 'after milk and cake', and it cuts back to the construction site. Raphie holds up the trinket, sticking his tongue out as he tries to figure it out. Donald doesn't help with the comment of "A few hours ago I would've called this foolish and impossible. Now I just call it foolish!"

"Did you think magic didn't exist?" Donnie seems surprised.

'Wait, you did think it exists? But your world doesn't even have mystic powers!"

"No, but we have a spirit realm, and I always figured if that exists-"

"You have a spirit realm? We have spirits too but I don't know if they have a whole world."

"We've been to ours... sort of. We went out into some woods for a few days and fought some spirits once."

"We forged our own new armor and weapons and everything!" Mikey butts in excitedly. "I fought a spirit that looks like Rahzar- do you guy have him? Ugh, he's the worst, dudes! Anyway, we all had to fight different enemies, and I had to learn how to focus, and Donnie had to learn how to uh, trust his strength or something? And Raph had to learn to manage his anger again and Leo had to learn make his leg stop hurting-"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" April O'Neil waves her hands to stop Mikey talking. "Come again? Who told you guys that?"

"I found them from the spirit realm," Splinter says. "I'd been separated from my body, and sought them out to prepare them for their return to New York."

"There's a lot of missing context there, let's all acknowledge that before moving forward," Donald says, "But to me that sounds a little bit like telling Mikey to just stop having ADHD and telling Leo some kind of injury is all in his head instead of letting it heal."

"It's fine, it was all in my head," Leo says firmly. But the way he rubs his knee... begs to differ.

"We'll have words about this later," Angelo says sweetly. But then all of a sudden he is staring at all of them with the most dead-eyed smile as flames rise behind him and he looms over them. "Because remember we'll probably see all of that at some point and any lies or secrets will be exposed."

He smile sweetly again, now once more normal sized and sitting in his seat, and the show continues to play.

On screen, the brothers are discussing the pressure Raphie is under to get this right and clearly making it so much worse as the shots zoom in on Raphie's eyes and a bead of sweat rolls down his face. After demanding they stop talking about his fear stink-

"He retained that from his mutation? Fascinating!"

"Uh, what?"

"You're a snapping turtle, right? Snapping turtles can release a musky odor when they're stressed! We never smelt it from Spike because he just took everything as-is, so I always wondered if it was true or not."

"Oh, it's true." Leon laughs, once again draping himself across his larger brother's shoulders. "He has a lot of stinks, actually, it's like a mood ring but smelly!"

"Stop talkin' about it! You're making Raph self conscious!" Raphie shoves Leon off of him.

Screen Raphie holds the trinket to the wall and tries to make it open, even punching the wall and throwing it at the wall, but it just shoots off, hits Raphie's head, and lands in front of Angelo. Angelo says to let him, the 'artist of the crew' try, and Leon agrees because he can't do any worse. It works for Angelo immedietely, opening up the portal right away!

"Heck yeah!" Angelo pumps his fists in the air. "Magic hands, baby! Oh, if Junior could see this he'd be all over it, that has to be because I'm meant to be a mystic master!"

"Oh-ho, you're so right bro!" Leon fist-bumps Angelo. "Look at that, it was all right in front of us the whole time!"

And with barely a moment of debate, the Screen Turtles cannonball right into the portal, Raphie leading and the other following right behind. They all land horribly painfully except for Leon, who says the words 'Land safely' aloud as he almost loses balance. Clearly he took a lesson from his earlier mishap with the cement truck stunt. It zooms out, showing a huge city with marvelous and strange buildings, creatures, and vehicles!

The duller clan all marvel just as the Screen Turtles do.

"I can smell Raph's amazement stink."

"Smell my amazement stink too, dudes, that's awesome! Please tell me we'll be seeing a lot more of this place!" Mikey looks at them with a wide smile.

The colorful clan all think. Leon tsks. "Um... so..."

"We've only visited there again... once?" Raphie says, rubbing the back of his head.

"Um... twice, if we count when Nardo portalled us out of Tahiti," Donald says. "I think."

"We kind of ended up in jail and broke out, so... I don't know if they love us there." Leon gives a bashful smile and shrugs. "It was all a lot of misunderstandings."

"We've been there," Leo sighs. "I mean, not a mystic city, but someone branding us as criminals or menaces when we aren't."

"On the bright side, more things to relate on!" Angelo smiles too widely, hoping to draw some real ones from the others.

"Kind of an upsetting thing to relate on," Donnie sighs, "But... I guess it's a little comforting knowing we aren't the only one this happens to."

The show pans down for a closer look at the strange city, landing on the still-awestruck Screen Turtles. April whispers to them from behind, and they immedietely surround her in a big group hug.

"Donnie, where are we?"

Donnie groans at the screen. "Yours do that too?!"

"Do... what? Look to me for answers because they're dum-dums?" Donald's statement results in some protesting from his family, not about their dum-dum status, but about how they don't actually seek out his answers most of the time, he just gives them. These protests go ignored.

Donnie throws his hands out to the screen. "Yeah! Wait, it doesn't bother you?"

"Not really. Like I said, they're dum-dums."

"Oh." Donnie suddenly stiffens, and looks at his now glaring family. A 2-D bead of sweat suddenly appears on his forehead with a "bloob" sound, and he rubs the back of his neck. "Um, what I meant by agreeing that' your dums-dums is that, besides April and Sensei-"

"We don't look to you for all the answers," Leo says.

Donnie's 2-D sweat disappears, and he scowls. "Are you kidding me, Leo? You guys expect me to know everything right off the top of my head!"

"That's 'cause you're the smart one, D!" Mikey holds his knees and rocks in place. "You keep acting like we don't know anything, so you gotta!"

"You not knowing to stay out of my lab and Raph not knowing how power conduits work is different!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yes it-!"

"Boys!" Splinter rubs the space between his eyes. "Donatello, your brothers rely on your intellect and ability to learn quickly during battle, and in day-to-day life. That is an honor, to be looked up to in such a way."

"But they don't look up to me," Donnie grumps, crossing his arms. "They look down on me for being a nerd."

"It's our burden to carry," Donald says, eyes closed as he nods and slides over to pat Donnie's hand. "We got all of the brains out of the mutation process, clearly."

Donnie laughs a little at that. It eases the tension a bit.

On Screen, Donald gives a scientific explanation to Raphie before April O'Neil corrects him with an entirely different, yet correct, explanation of it being a hidden city under New York.

"Um... wouldn't that collapse?" Mikey tilts his head. "Because like... I thought sinkholes were bad."

"... Huh." April O'Neil thinks about it. "... You know, it's maybe better to just be glad it doesn't seem to matter."

Screen Leon asks where the 'dog thing' is-

"That thing is way more cat than dog," Raph mutters.

-and April O'Neil points them all toward a large and very imposing castle. They enter easily in the very next shot, all exclaiming in wonder again as Donald admires the aesthetic with shining eyes. They come to the edge of the upper entrance platform and find Mayhem and the delivery boy both locked in vine-like mystic cages, but before they can save them a tall, terrifying creatures enters his shadow looming before a shot pans up to reveal his intimidating glare.

Splints laughs. "What a dramatic try-hard!"

"Pops! Remember, we're not holding Barry's past against him anymore!"

"This is not holding it against him! This is making fun of him, behind his back! Completely harmless!"

"Wait, this is the guy who's your other dad now?!" Leo gapes at them.

"Yeah! Draxum made us, so after The Shredder sucked out his life force I helped him get back on his feet! He helped us save the world from Shredder!" Angelo beams.

"Dude, you should meet my friend Leatherhead!" Mikey pulls out his T-Phone and shows Angelo a picture. "He also met us by attacking us and then became our friend!"

"Oooooh, Leatherhead is such a cool name for an alligator!"

"Came up with it myself! See, his head, it looks and feels like leather!"

"So clever!"

On the screen the delivery boy somehow believes this is due to the pizza shop's calamari being made of pig butts, and Draxum dismisses the claim. The gargoyles on his shoulders suddenly move, jumping down seemingly just to scare the human in the cage.

"Where did those guys go, by the way?" Leon looks at his family. "Anyone know?"

"Nope. But I don't think we gotta worry," Raphie says. "They're only bad guys by proxy, really. Without Draxum they're just weird little flying things."

"True."

Draxum grabs a vial off of Mayhem and informs the delivery boy that he's about to be experimented on, which the delivery seems excited about. It briefly cuts back to the turtles and April O'Neil, who all seem much more concerned. But they don't act, and watch on as Draxum pours the vial into a large machine.

"You're just going to let him to this? You need to jump in!" Leo is leaning forward in his seat, staring in disbelief at the TV.

"We're gonna! We just needed a second."

"To do what?!"

"We were a little curious where it was going," Leon admits. "But we stop him! ... More or less..."

Draxum's machine powers up, and April O'Neil and Raphie comment about this is probably a bad thing. The liquid from the vial causes some kind of mass to form at the top of the machine, which strange-looking mosquitoes suck into their bodies. Draxum brings one over to the delivery boy, who asks if it will hurt as his cage changes to suspend him in the air. Draxum confirms it will hurt, happily, and the mosquito bites the human. The ooze inside turns him into some kind of fish-mutant in a painful and disturbing process (though still not quite as horrific as what they saw from Snakeweed) as The Turtles and April watch on in horror.

"You just let that guy mutate?!" Donnie stands up and snarls at the colorful clan. "You just watched! It's your fault that he's stuck like that now! You could have prevented it!"

"Excuse us for being a little slow to act on our first ever villain encounter just after losing all our weapons!" Leon crosses his arms. "You wouldn't have jumped in unarmed either!"

"I'd have to!" Donnie looms over the still-sitting other clan, irises and pupils pinpricks as he seethes. "Do you even understand how serious that is?! How life-destroying being mutated IS for humans?!"

"Do not lecture my sons on such a thing!" Splints leaps in front of Donnie, looking up and jabbing a finger at him. "They understand very well now!"

"They don't seem that sorry!" Donnie spits. "Do you even know how to reverse it?! Have you even tried to develop a retromutagen?!"

"Donnie, calm down." April puts her hands on his shoulders. "It's not the same for them."

"They let someone be mutated! April, they didn't even try to-!"

"Hey." She steps between him and Splints. "My dad is home, and safe," she reminds him in a soft voice. "And we'll find a way to thaw out Timothy. He won't be stuck like that forever."

Splints's own fire fizzles out as they all watch Donnie sag, the anger leaving him entirely and replaced by sorrow and guilt.

"I-I just..."

"I know. We all know." April guides him back to his seat.

"You'll figure it out, bro," Mikey says, tone as soft as April's as he pats his brother's knee. Donnie just sighs.

"... Who exactly is Timothy?" Donald keeps his own voice soft as well. At first he'd figured it was just a friend who got frozen, but now...

"... A human teen who tried to help us." Donnie brings his legs up and hugs himself into a little ball. "It was our fault- my fault, he got doused with mutagen. He... he was just wanting to be like us. Be a hero."

"He got turned into this freaky pile of clear goo with guts and stuff," Mikey says, scooting to press close to his brother's side. "He lived in Donnie's lab for a while, but after a while he lost it and tried to kidnap April and kill us."

"It wasn't his fault." Donnie's voice is small. "The mutagen... he was barely even sentient. And-and now he's frozen, from a tainted batch of retromutagen we used to stop him, and I can't... I can't figure out how to unfreeze him to turn him back. ... He was my friend. And... we ruined his life. His family's life. ... He just wanted to help us."

The room is quiet for a very, very long time.

"I'm... not a chemist," Donald says slowly. "I'm more a machine's man. I know I agreed to unfreeze your friend, but... if it's that complicated, it... may take some time."

"Everything does," Donnie mutters. "... New deal, though. I want a sample of your world's mutagen. I'm going to find a cure for it, and you're going to offer it to every mutant you know."

"Okay." Donald nods.

"We didn't mean to seem insensitive," Angelo says. "We haven't had something like that happen to a friend before. All of our mutated friends still have their minds, and none of them turned into-"

"It's fine." Donnie hugs himself tighter. "I-I'm sorry I blew up at you. You didn't know what would happen to that person. Just... I hope he's okay."

The tension doesn't really lift, just... loosens, a bit.

The show begins again, the new mutant screaming and flopping around comically. Different sections of the screen show the various reactions of the Teens, most reacting with disgust and shock while Donald makes a joke about it being confirmed the crab cakes were indeed imitation crab.

Mikey lets out a little laugh. He's the only one. It's... not the most joke-ready mood.

On Screen, Donald's brothers look at him in disapproval of the joke as the new mutant mourns having to deal with being a fish just after getting used to acne. Donnie curls up even tighter in his seat, eyes a little misty. Mikey and April both press against his sides to comfort him.

On screen the mutant runs out of the lab. Draxum pays it no mind and simply enjoys that the mutation worked "like it did all those years ago".

Splints is the one who sighs sadly now, looking at his hands. Donnie glances over at him, and when their eyes meet, there's an unspoken understanding between them despite the previous fight.

They'd both been coming from the same place with their feelings, after all.

Screen Angelo wonders if they could be part imitation crab, making Screen Donald laugh and then disappointedly realize it Was Not A Joke. Draxum threatens Mayhem once more, spurring April O'Neil to call to action. Leon remind her they're unarmed except for Donald, and Donald brags about his staff being high-grade titanium. Raphie tries to encourage them to fight even without weapons, but April O'Neil reveals that she, somehow, found the weapons room.

"You should be leading their team," April says, her voice still soft as the mood in the room continues to feel soured.

April O'Neil laughs a little. "Lead this team of bozos and juggle college? Nah, I'll leave that to Leo and Raph."

Screen Turtles all fall down a chute, along with April O'Neil. The turtles all land in a heap of limbs while their human friend just bounces off and lands perfectly on her feet. They all marvel once again at the weapons room and begin picking out familiar weapons of katanas and nunchucks- until Raphie points out the glowy ones. With zero hesitation they all grab the clearly magic items, except for Donald. Even at April O'Neil's prompting he refuses and promises his techbo he'll never let it go-

"Ooooh, Dontron broke his promise!"

"Her spirit lives on through the mystic tech I wield, Nardo!"

"You still broke it!"

-and takes some kind of crystal instead.

Fully armed, the Screen Turtles set out to save Mayhem. Mayhem is shown to be being prodded and tormented by the gargoyles-

"If we'd seen that I would have snaped their little wings off," Raphie growls. "Who does that to a dog-thing?!"

"If we visit your world I'll help you hunt them down and snap off their wings." Raph cracks his knuckles.

One again The Screen Turtles tumble out of a chute into a heap, APril being the only one with an okay landing. Raphie begins trying to give a hero speech, when Leon adds a note. Then Donald does, and then Angelo, and Raphie can't seem to deny their notes and just finish his sentence. While they ramble, Draxum stares at them in tearful awe. Raphie tries one more time to make the speech, and finally the bored April O'Neil leaps into action!

"Ugh." Donnie leans away from the screen. "Why are your eyes bugging out like that? It's reminding me of Rockwell."

"I'll be honest, I had no idea they did that in that moment." Donald shrugs. "But as we established, our worlds have a vast different in emotive expression."

WHile the Screen Turtles panic over April O'Neil just running right in, she lands on Mayhem's cage and begins trying to chew through it.

"It is a constant," April laughs. "Ugh, that must have tasted awful."

"Didn't taste anything over the adrenaline. Now that you mention it, I'm pretty glad I didn't manage to bite through. Those gargoyles might've saved me from a nasty experience!"

Draxum uses some kind of mystic vines to attack. The Turtles just run down them, save for Leon, who is very vocal about his hatred of it. Drxum then releases a giant monster, which Leon hates the fact that it looks at him. It destroys the vines and Draxum commands it capture The Turtles as specimens. They all leap up as Raphie cries "Cowabunga!", Leon taking longer just so he can do a fancy little move.

"What was that for?" Leo looks over.

"For flair." Leon flips his mask tails like they're hair. "And the floor was a little slippery, but I saved the moment!"

The mood finally starts lifting in the room again.

Screen Leon slashes right through the monsters leg, and it roars in pain! It throws stone blocks at Raphie and Angelo, and while Raphie gets hit a few times ANgelo leaps through them with ease and laugher! Angelo uses his weapon to throw Raphie forward and-

"What's Hot Soup supposed to be?" Raph looks at his counterpart. "That's like, the second time you've said it."

"It's Pops's catchphrase form his old Lou Jitsu movies!" Raphie picks up Splints. "Say it for them, Pops!"

"Put me down! You cannot force a Hot Soup moment!" Splints waves his arms in protest. "It is not just some catchphrase, it is a warriors battle cry! It is not my fault it also happens to look good on t-shirts and merchandise!"

Screen Raphie slams into the monster's face, knocking it to the ground! Donald jumps in, his battle shell opening to Flight Mode (making Donnie drool over the tech once more). He tries again with the two rockets on the end of his techbo, and this time it works extremely effectively! The monster is completely defeated, and Draxum admires their accidental skills as all of them but Donald lay groaning in pain in the wreckage. Leon takes it as a surrender, but alas... it is not.

"Wait wait wait, what training? You don't train at all?" Leo looks at his counterpart. Leon looks back with a defensive remark right at the tip of his tongue-

But Leo doesn't look judgemental.

He looks concerned. It reminds Leon so much of Raphie's looks that the snark dies before he says it.

"I do now." Leon shrugs. "We weren't really expecting to do any big fighting or heroics back then. Trust me, I learned how important it is."

Leo sits back, relaxing a little. "I'm glad. Maybe we should try training together sometime then. It looks like you end up swapping out those other weapons for ones like ours anyway, we can compare techniques. Learn from each other."

"I don't know, your guys' training session looked way more formal than we do them. We tried it that way once and it got us kidnapped for ransom."

"How did- nevermind. A little informal sparring then?"

"Now that I can get behind."

Draxum uses more mystic balls to add some kind of powerful outer layer to his arms. Their attacks do nearly nothing to him, but while he goes to brag April O'Neil finally gets the one-up on the gargoyles. Draxum uses the moment to trap her in some kind of cocoon, making Mikey launch another attack! But this time-

"IT'S A FIRE FACE!" Mikey jumps up and cheers! "DUDES, THAT'S THE COOLEST MAGIC WEAPON EV-AH!"

"I miss old Fire Face," Angelo says with a content nostalgic sigh.

Screen Angelo, of course, does not have good mastery of his weapon right away, but manages to blow up the ooze mass at the top of the machine and land a hit on Draxum nonetheless. Raphie tries next, flailing his arms and excitedly begging for it to work, and red lightning suddenly envelops his arms! He's betrayed by it, alas, and Leon decides that's a good enough signal to find his out by running right at Draxum and swinging. It... does nothing. For a second. Then it opens up two portals above and below each other, sending him on an endless loop through both.

"I think I'm going to be sick just remembering that feeling," Leon says, gagging a little. "Portal loops are not fun."

"Wait, but, what's Raphie's then?" Donnie asks. "You have portals, Angelo has, uh... fire... demons, he has... electricity?"

"It's actually a sort of energy-body thing. I can make a really big version of me, make really big or long arms, make clones, it's pretty awesome! And it's not actually our weapons, totally, it's our ninpo!"

"Your world is both fascinating and terrifying."

"Thanks! ... I think."

Screen Donald slides up next to Draxum and begins his own attack, being shockingly effective all on his own until Angelo, yanked around by his weapon, knocks into him. Draxum gives a classic 'under me you could be true warriors' speech-

"Kinda surprised Shredder hasn't ever tried that on us, actually," Mikey says.

"I think he knows we'd never go for it." Raph smirks. "Besides, we're already true warriors! I'm not saying you guys aren't by the way. Assuming you get better than this."

Angelo laughs. "So much better, I cannot wait for y'all to see how awesome we are later on!"

-and cocoons all the remaining turtles. Donald realizes the machine behind Draxum is about to blow when April O'Neil says they still need to save Mayhem, but Draxum is so preoccupied with his 'Join me' speech that he doesn't notice until Donald points it out. The explosion squishes Draxum under a rock and frees Mayhem, who's the only reason they all survive as he teleports them out! They get back to New York and celebrate their first successful fight!

"Oooooh, I get it." Leon nods as his Screen Self tries to propose a name other than Mad Dogs. "It's the thing where I almost say the show title, but then I don't! It's a running gag, I've been doing a running gag this whole time guys!"

"Wait, does that mean we're actually a TV show? Like, someone wrote us?" April O'Neil wonders.

"Don't think about it too hard," Mikey advises. "Our cartoons always reflect what's gonna happen or did happen to us most days, but like, we don't talk about that. 'Cause then it's too real."

The onscreen celebrations are ended, however, but thousands of the oozequitos flying out of the portal and into New York city! With the sun rising The Turtles have no choice but to flee back home and leave it for another day. A single oozequito flies right into the screen and squishes... ending the episode.

"Huh, it took us like, a year before something like that happened to us, with the mutagen getting all over the city and stuff! You've got some bad luck, dudes."

"But, also a pretty sick first adventure, right?" Leon nods, smiling widely. "I mean come on, we got magic weapons right off the bat!"

"It certainly makes me interested in seeing more," Splinter says, stroking his beard thoughtfully. "Many mysteries were hinted at, and much potential was shown."

"Oh, we live up to that potential, baby!" Angelo winks. "Just you wait and see!"

"Looks like we'll be waiting a while." Donald points at the screen. "We're back to their universe next."

"Awwww, man!" Mikey goes limp with disappointment. "We already know that one! I wanna keep watching you guys!"

"I'm sure we'll get back to us," Angelo assures. "I mean, how long can these shows be, anyway?"

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt #tmnt fic #tmnt fanfiction #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

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losvers-clubb · 1 year

Text

On and On

This is my first post of writing so be gentle with my heart. This is based based off of the song On and On by DJO. I love the imagery his latest album portrays so who knows i might make this a series of songs off this album. Enjoy!!

------------------

In my bed on my phone

Locked away, free to go

Tv on every night

Scrolling on

On and on and on and on

Scrolling on and on and on

Feed the algorithm some

On and on and on and on

The sun was low amongst the trees, dusty rays of amber sun littered the walls of the tiny room. Wayne had left an hour prior for work, and Eddie had no invites to any sort of party or gathering with people his age. His weed stock was low, so he wouldn’t have had a reason to go out to those anyways. The air conditioner struggled to hum out cool air, with the little work it did, there wasn’t enough circulation for relief from the heat. The only solution was to lay in his boxers, sprawled out in his bed with his curls pulled back into a lazy bun on the back of his head. Beads of sweat brimmed his forehead and neck, he shifted uncomfortably every few minutes to allow air conditioned access to his skin. Quietly, eddie scrolled on his smart phone. The small cracks on the glass screen went un acknowledged as he had grown used to reading passed them. In the distance, the tv that Wayne had left on was left on its own to play whatever reruns were queued up for the afternoon.

The apps on his phone had the ability to hold onto his attention span for only a few minutes at a time. Twitter, tik tok, tumblr, Instagram. His fingers indented with the device, thumb growing so accustomed to scrolling that the feeling of the motion barely phased him. Boredom had a funny way of worming into his head, he waited all week at school to catch a break, a moment of silence to be able to sit down and just breathe, reset and relax- and yet, here he was, uncomfortably warm, bored out of his mind and itching for something to shock his body into movement. He had sunk and molded onto the bed though, and he felt a little too sticky to be able to close his eyes.

I saw the news, watched a clip

Powered down, then it hit

What is real? What is fake?

It must be fake

On and on and on and on

Scrolling on and on and on

Feed the algorithm some

On and on

Twitter consisted of awful news, all the time, people advocating on subjects they didn’t understand and others sharing videos of wars in countries he’s never visited. All social medias had some kind of variation of these things. Instagram was the worst of them, it was always and only about girls who posted themselves. It was all the same, fake people. Clicking off his phone, Eddie tossed it onto the pillow. Stars flashed before his eyes as the pressure of his knuckles dug into his sockets. There was a slight stinging of remnant screen time imprinted onto his corneas. His arms went limp as they dropped beside his body, unmoving for a good minute as his eyes stared up onto the ceiling. The stars scattered and disappeared as his sight fully restored, clearing the shapes of the stains on the ceiling. He counted his breaths, one, two three, then with the strength of god he found the energy to peel his body from the mattress with a soft huff. At the edge of the bed, Eddie contemplated on who to call, who would answer. Another minute passed him by, his eyes hyper focused themselves to a wrapper on the floor, it collected dust for how long it had been sitting there. He began to wonder what it used to protect, what great treat was once safely tucked away underneath paper and cellophane.

He let his feet drop down onto the tan carpet, let his brain reach into his memory and pull out the familiarity of standing and walking and adjusting to the feeling of being on his feet again. With a slight sway he began walking out towards the hallway, static crawling up his legs with every step till it faded away. News anchors grew louder as the quiet of his room was left behind. The room was littered with the same dust rays fading onto the walls, thousands of specs of dust levitated in whispy curls dancing in the air and Eddie’s presence was only there to interrupt the waltz they’ve begun on their own, slowly disappearing as the sun lowered itself beyond Hawkins. Eddie flicked on a lamp and reached for the remote which had been left beside the armrest of Wayne’s usual spot. The power signal had since rubbed off, his finger hovered over the red button.

Something is about to break

The fault line has been fractured

Wayne’s old tv showed insight on chaos arousing in the country, riots, global warming, failure of government. Eddies hand remained frozen, hovering thumb extended as if he himself was controlled with a universal remote. He listened, images flashed of melting glaciers, starving polar bears, police brutality, riots, abuse of power. His heart beat skipped, breaking at the sight of an unjust world, desperation arose in his stomach, emotions bubbled in his throat, his nose felt runny, his eyes wet, his hands cold. Eddie felt for a moment he was an outsider looking in, he began to question why it was that this was why the world had begun. Why was it that humans had to worry about taxes, or money, or credit? What happened to the world, why couldn’t he exist alongside animals? Where was the world going to be when he turned 40? Or 85? As soon as questions arose in his head, they were replaced by new ones. He became frantic, helpless. The anxiety crawled it’s way into his head, it felt as if a toddler had taken a black sharpie to his brain and scribbled till the ink bled through and tore the thin delicate page.

Maybe it's not too late

To learn how to love each other

What's it gonna take to change it?

Don't you wanna save this planet?

His mind raced. With an image of the world burning, he couldn’t help to think of himself changing something in the moment to actually have a future on earth. With the tv and remote forgotten, he ran back to the room, picking his phone off of the bed and searching up on global warming, finding out articles, reading. He went onto his text messages and sent what he could to his group chat of friends. Robin, Steve, Jonathan, Nancy, you. Following the articles, he ranted. Eddie sent long text messages decompressing his anxieties.

You were at dinner with your parents, celebrating your dads promotion when your phone began lighting up on the table. Crimson spread on your cheeks as the buzzing became noticeable to your mom, who gave you a stern look. Giving her an apologetic look, you picked up the frantic device and balanced it on your lap, looking under the table to read the texts swarming your messages. You knew most of your friends were busy, robin and Steve were working a closing shifts, Jonathan was with his family, too be honest you weren’t sure what Nancy was doing. She was the one in the group who never really looked at her phone too much.

Eddies fingers slowed the feverish text as his anxiety climbed back down. He was able to sit back for a second and read over his wording. He sat back on his desk chair, he had barely any recollection of even sitting.

Ding

Y/n: Are you okay?

Your name popping up in his texts felt like reality bringing him back down to earth. His heart slowed, breath evened.

Eddie: hey,, Idk honestly

Blame it on manipulation

We're human after all

I'm sick and tired of the same old world reaction

It was all you needed to see. With the dinner coming to an end, and your father paying the bill, the table stood in unison and the party of three walked to your dads vehicle. You pulled your jacket over your dress and slung your purse over your shoulder, glancing frequently down to the phone in your hands, waiting for Eddie to continue, but he was quiet. He was in a mood, and you were determined to stay beside him as he came down from whatever he was going on about. You knew the feeling, the outsider view perspective, as one of your closest friends, you knew how he got, and you couldn’t ask faster for your father to drop you off at Eddie’s trailer. Considering it was a Friday night, there was very little reason for your parents deny your request. The drive was short, and you were warned for the hundredth time about “that Munson kid”. You’ve heard endless gossip, not only from your moms friends over the phone, but colleagues of your fathers, coworkers, even teachers at your own school. It was nothing but judgement, no one knew him the way your group did, no one knew him like you.

It's just you and me now

In my phone

It's my world

I see the future sitting in my hand

The steps up to the trailer were muddy, your parents lingered for a few moments too long as you knocked a few times on his door. Inside, Eddie chewed on his thumb nail nervously, his eyes stared at nothing in particular while his ears zoned out along with them. It was as if the tunnel he was in faded out in a sudden moment and the knocks on the trailer became clear and he was back in his room again. He had become aware again and stood from the desk. Faster than he could process, his legs had carried him to the front door and the knob was yanked open. The last person he had expected to see was you standing there, in a soft silk green floor length slip dress at the door, your eyes told him he caught you off guard with the sudden lack of barrier between the two of you.

“Oh,,, uH, hey, I didn’t expect you-“ he stammered his words, looking down at his own outfit- well, boxers and a t shirt. “I didn’t dress for the occasion” he joked lightly. You let out a small laugh and turned to look at your parents car, still waiting for you to get inside. You swore you could see your fathers eyebrows raise through the tinted glass, with a wave you ushered Eddie inside to close the door behind you.

“Hey” you smiled at him, you hands instinctively reaching up to rest on his waist in this sudden close proximity. The contact made his shoulders visibly relax and he pulled you into a hug. His musk filled your head, and almost giving you a high as if you’ve just pumped your body with nicotine. The dizziness had you rest onto his shoulder, and you stood there with Eddie for what felt an eternity, neither very willing to pull away. You weren’t sure which one pulled back first, but the contact was never broken as your hand trailed down to his and brought his knuckles up to your lips to kiss his ringed cold fingers. With soft eyes he watched you, the kiss was slow and gentle, and when you pulled back, you both gave each other timid smiles.

“Are you okay?” You asked finally, breaking the silence. His eyes dropped down to your interlocked hands and he let out a cut off chuckle.

“I don’t know, I think- I was fine and then I just, I was overwhelmed by the world” your eyebrows scrunched together with worry, you weren’t sure how to comfort him with words, because you’ve been in his same position. you did all you knew how to do, You brought him into another embrace, this time wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing him down into you as you sort of cradled his head. You caught scent on his shampoo and kissed the side of his head a few times. His body awkwardly sunk down to your level, you both laughed at your lack of coordination.

Take a break

Go to bed

Mind is racing, baby, now I'm back

Baby, now I'm back

Entangled in each other, you both stumbled into his room, as you sat onto the mattress and kicked up your feet and began undoing the straps on your heels. Eddie gave you a knowing look and pulled back the drawers on his dresser to reveal the Tin lunchbox. He wiggled it in his hands, waiting for your look of approval and walked over to the old black side table, grinding and rolling the last of his weed. You watched as he inhaled, his eyes rolled back into his head, the room filled with the sweet smoke of the flower and your mouth watered. He cleared his throat, his tongue darting out to wet his lips and he turned over to you, extending the blunt towards you. You took it from his hands and mimicked his actions, taking a puff, inhaling, letting the feeling engulf you. He watched you, your hands, your exposed neck, your chest rise and fall, your breasts constrained behind the loose fabric. There was an inaudible dynamic of back and forth passing of the blunt, you took turns of lust ful glanced for one another till you took the brave first move. Crawling over to him, you sat back on your knees and pulled him into you, the blunt had barely left his mouth as you occupied his lips with your own. He was taken back at first, but with the weed soon discarded on his side table his hands hungrily grasped at your waist, bringing you into him as if the kiss depended on the two of you molding as one.

It didn’t take long for your dress to end up beside your shoes on the floor, the one on one hang outs had become more than a one time occurrence as time went one and they became more frequent. It was testing uncharted territories, and you two knew you would either have to tell your friends or one of them would find out eventually. But at this moment, it was the two of you against the world. As you lay naked beside him underneath the covers, your hushed pillow talk became more and more raspy till you drifted off to an unknowing sleep. Eddie watched you still, watched your once moving lips come to a halt, watched you hair sprawl out onto his chest, watched your hand lay across his torso in a loose hug. The arm he had secured around your body began losing feeling, but he didn’t dare move or wake you, so he reached beside his table and found his phone. His friends one by one messaged about their days, announced their sudden freedom from responsibilities and requested to hang out.

Eddie: I can’t, I got busy

He texted them, tightening his grip on you.

and it feels so good

and it feels so right

to be up at night

with you

Eddie opened up his social medias, and began scrolling. Feeling completely different from just a few hours before, knowing you anchored him back down to earth.

On and on and on and on

And on and on and on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mwah!

#eddie munson #djo music #joe keery #one shot #joseph quinn #this is my first time #be gentle #sister wives of eddie munson

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vulpixhoney · 4 months

Text

I'm definitely just yelling into the void but I'm sharing my Luke Castellan playlist (again) and analyzing some of my songs choices because I have. brain worms. about these books. so character study with music

I have like 8+ hours of song in this playlist bc I've been adding to it for years so here are some highlights I'm thinking about rn

1. would've could've should've - Taylor Swift

but like. it's for him and Kronos you know. "And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil. At nineteen" literally dancing with the devil at 19. Kronos has been manipulating Luke since he was 17, taking his anger at the gods and twisting it into something that Kronos could use and abuse. And I think (imo) that even before TLO when Luke sacrifices himself he starts to regret joining Kronos but is so far in it now he can't turn back. Like he was a kid, he was seventeen. And even after that he's still young. He dies at 23/24, I'm 23 right now and I can't imagine getting literally possessed and having to kill yourself bc you got manipulated at a young age and made terrible choices. also "If you never touched me, I would’ve. Gone along with the righteous" if Kronos didn't reach out to him and one of his worst moments this wouldn't have happened. Yes Luke was angry and vengeful and burning with rage for the gods but he wouldn't have gotten that far without Kronos

2. sanity - paramore

him and his descent/fall from grace, but also his relationship with Hermes and the rest of the gods. "If I fall on my knees, I hear you laughing. If I call out your name, you don't come" taking this for his relationship with the gods/Hermes: the first line is like, when he fails his quest and has to go confront them and feels like they're looking at him with pity. And they gave him a nothing quest too, it was something that had already been done by Heracles, he's being given this quest just for the sake of quest-giving, it's nothing. And then he fails, and feels like he's being mocked, mocked by the people he just wants to notice him. And then the second line shows how absent the gods are in their children's lives. When Luke confronts Hermes at 14/15 when on the run he gets mad because he would pray and call for Hermes to help him during his mom's episodes. He was a little boy calling out for help, for the something the gods caused. And it was crickets. Hermes never came, never showed, never helped him. He was just left there alone. And then also at camp, Luke was counselor of the Hermes cabin, where all the unclaimed children are shoved, to be forgotten about by the gods. "No one home, but the void is loud.Echoes around my empty house... This must be the void they always talk about" honestly I see this when he's possessed by Kronos. Like he has another being inside him, taking over, piloting his body over him. His consciousness was obviously still there bc Annabeth and Percy were able to help him break free and stop Kronos. So what was he doing, could he feel anything? Could he feel everything and not be able to do anything? It must have been terrifying, and again he would've only been like maybe 22? when Kronos possessed him

3. sidewalk chalk - Annalise Emerick

this one for me is like quintessential my feeling about Luke, Thalia, and Annabeth. In the song she sings about a childhood friend she no longer talks too but thinks about often thinks about and wishes well. I see this mostly with like Annabeth. "I'm living my dreams right now The ones we used to talk about" She grew up with him, and is now going to continue growing up without him. She probably blabbed about her dreams of being an architect the way that kids always do, and now she's the architect of Olympus and is doing really well for herself. And probably thinks back to when she was a kid with Luke and Thalia.

4. I don't like my mind - mitski

I think that his anger at the gods was driving him mad, but Kronos' influence really pushed over the edge. Also going back to before, his living in his body that another being has control over, "Inside the walls of my skull waiting for its turn to talk". Ethan tells Percy that he thinks Luke is still in there, fighting back, trying to regain control over his body and his mind. And since he definitely was, he was probably in there spiraling about how he got to that point and all that he'd done and who'd hr become. Because once Annabeth helps him break through he is obviously regretful and wants to atone. "so please don’t take, Take this job from me" job/life. but also, him working for Kronos at that point was all he had. Literally. His job for Kronos was his lite He had given everything up at that point, and Kronos would routinely threaten Luke if/when he fails. Punishing Luke with nightmares and then forcing Luke to take him as a host bc he failed during the Atlas plan.

rapid fire songs I put in the playlist that I think about a lot:

eat your young - Hozier (obviously. I mean the gods ya know)

day after tomorrow - Phoebe bridgers (he's a soldier)

save me - Noah kahan (even after everything he's done Annabeth still tries to save him)

used to be young - Miley Cyrus (he was seventeen)

bad believer - st. Vincent (he's blasphemous what can I say)

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #luke castellan #spotify playlist #Spotify #im pinning this like it's my report card on the fridge

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aita-blorbos · 8 months

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AITA for killing someone and then owning up to it?

I (can't remember age or gender at this moment) happen to have amnesia - likely due to a brain parasite I happen to be suffering from. I've made friends with a few people who all happen to be suffering the same affliction, and we're busy searching for a doctor in the region that would be able to help with this issue, but unfortunately specialists are few and far between. Only one of my friends here has amnesia - so I've got a rather distinct set of symptoms.

Unfortunately, another symptom I'm having is that I have these horrible, vile intrusive thoughts, and sometimes my body acts on its own - I'm very uncomfortably into gore and viscera and death, and it unnerves me. Hells, one of my friends, he has no idea how close it came - I almost chewed his arm off instead of welcoming him to the group! I've tried to tell everybody about this issue I'm having, and warned them about any potential volatile behavior they may experience from my end, but they all brushed it off as dark fantasies and the sort of thoughts that most people keep to themselves.

The other night, a bard (who I'll call A, F, age unknown) asked to travel with us. I'd helped her compose a song in honor of her late mentor, and she found me to be inspiring and wished to accompany me in our journey to find a proper doctor. I was rather excited - while that horrible cruel part of me was revulsed at the nice time we had together, it felt like a step towards normalcy to have a friend that wasn't just because we had the same brain worms!

And then I woke up in the middle of the night above her mutilated corpse. I was, understandably, quite horrified - she'd been an innocent woman and this was the last thing I or anyone should have wanted - so I decided to come clean to my friends and confess that the dark urges had gone too far and that my body must have acted on its own while I was asleep or unconscious. They all disapproved of it and acted like this had come out of nowhere - but what was I supposed to do, cover up the crime and pretend everything was just fine? It felt more right to admit to my wrongdoing and I sort of resent them for having not taken my condition seriously in the first place now.

I'm all turned around, and very afraid of what I might do next - and of losing my friends. Am I the asshole?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality #PARASITES #BRAIN PARASITES

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cleric4vampire · 3 months

Note

20 & 21 for the Durge asks, pretty please?

hello dear spite!!! thank you for the ask 🖤

20. Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why?

Aune is not even remotely open about her Urge, but she's not so good at hiding it either. She tries to keep it a secret as she's terrified and deeply ashamed of it. However, in her panicked fear of not understanding her lack of memories or her violent urges, she asks nearly all of her companions about advice on the subject. (Oops.) When confronted, Aune successfully convinces the others that she had nothing do with Alfira's death. (Well, everyone except for Astarion... 😏) When she kicks the squirrel to death just mere HOURS after they discover the bard's body, it becomes a bit more difficult to explain away. It's pretty much common knowledge amongst the group after the Grove massacre, but it is officially confirmed for the companions once they arrive at Moonrise.

21. What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?

You've unleashed the beast with this question because I love collecting my little songs and making my little playlists

The number one Aune song of all time is Carrion Comfort by aeseaes: wring the world black / springs on my back / teeth tearing at the skin bleeding a blundering mess / beetles and worms in his chest sorry seeder / bottom feeder / nipping at what ankle's left all you wanted was a little taste / won't let a single sinew go to waste you should stop, you know, you know you should / but nothing else could make me feel this good voices howling and it's out of control / until you're nothing but an animal carrion comfort me

The Usher by Subrosa is a good that describes her relationship and perspective on death: all of my life I've been waiting for you with open arms, I'll come running towards you you're supreme, immutable, unchanging you're never failing through the ages you're more constant than the stars / because they change their paths with the seasons you're more constant than the moon / because she hides her face in the shadows you're more constant than the sun / because one day her embrace will melt the earth you're more constant than the gods / because sometimes when we call, they don't answer at all all in all, we end the same

When That Head Splits by Esben and the Witch is a bit of a nebulous choice, as it's a vision into the future for Aune - what things might look like if she succumbs/accepts the Urge alone she sits, a silent voyeur / kneeling naked at the altar while ants clamber over the / petrified hand of her neighbor there is a bulb inside her head / where once there was a brain in place a clod with roots, a ball of string that's full of love and lycorine when she grows numb / set by the sun she will become / part of the kingdom

#(I have a playlist for her that has 16 songs in it atm. believe it or not that is IMMENSELY little on my part because #I narrowed it down as sharply as I could. I deserve a prize)#one word to summarize her playlist: Pain #aldkfjd;lfkj #I have a good one lined up for how I think she will be post-game but because Idk how her story will end yet I can't share it #I was gonna include my honorable mentions but it was literally 8 songs LOL so I stopped myself #oc: durge!aune #durge spoilers

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arclundarchivist · 2 years

Text

A Goodbye to Calamity.

This is how the Story Ends.

Avalir cracks at the seams foundations laid generations before vibrating with the deep tonal cry of the Astral Leywright and the Furious Cries of the world's eldest Rulers. The grand statue of Imyr cracks at the ankles, toppling into the city below. Ash and fire erupt into the sky, funneled up and away, and as it does so, Exandria too cracks at the base.

She doesn't exist now, survived by her Son.

Cerrit climbs, fighting as he never had before, racing towards the sun with an outstretched arm as the shadows and heat boil up around him, furious voices screaming in the cloying smoke, as spread out beneath cracks dance upon the earth like ripples on a pond.

One amongst many legends.

Breath hitching, Purvan Suul pushes his way out of the rubble. Hunting frantically, he finds his companion's furred back and draws him free. Galdric snarls, coughs, and stands, following his master's gaze up towards the horizon. Haloed by the rising sun, the Lord of the Hells' snarling laugh worms into his brain. His immense scythe rises, the backswing cascading a torrent of fire down across the breadth of his home. Vasselheim is burning. The Ruiner rises like a peak behind his brother, entire building disappearing into his mammoth maw. It is the end of the world. Purvan rests his hand over his pendant and closes his eyes as the scythe falls. A thunderous chime shakes him from the moment, and as he cracks upon his eyes, shadowing the city, an immense axe had parried the blow. He turns, and amongst the blessed gardens of the Wildmother, the Lawbearer stands, her stern gaze burrowing into her lost siblings. Beside her, the First of Dragons stands, platinum scales gleaming from within, his four burning eyes turning to glare at the Ruiner with fury and grief. The Prime had come to Vasselheim. Stirred by their presence Purvan takes up his bow, an arrow finding a K'nauthi neck as Galdric howls to the heavens. Fate's Hand was at play.

The Last Eye of Avalir soars, older, scarred, shoulder to shoulder with his Children, the light of the smoke choked dawn briefly glinting on the large brass ring he wears over his heart. Kir, his face set in a long practiced scowl, hawks already ready to fly as they race towards the meeting. Maya's eyes are trained on the horizon, his bright young girl now a young woman with the drive to catalog all the ages within the Will of his long-lost friend. The Orb hovers about, and his eyes flick briefly to the Cobalt Eye that rests upon her forehead. Together they hunt, scouring the dark places, seeking the hidden clues, working to scour the rubble for all that could be rescued or preserved. He looks up, the warped form of Aeor growing closer and closer. The Shadow Grows. The Truth Must be Found.

Elias Alterra Ilerez, the Starbearer, draws his blade, the feathered blade gleaming with internal stars as once more the damned followers of his father's captor seek to snuff out his life.

A desperate young man, marked by the Blightstar and blessed of three, raises his spear, parrying the God of Destruction and falling far below for his effort. Yet, the Doom of Domunas is not joined by the Massacre of Marquet.

Deep below ground, the One Who Called finally founds One Who Will Listen in Leylas Kryn.

Isn't it Lovely?

Cerrit falls to the ground, emaciated and wind-worn, his wife and children racing to embrace him, tears falling freely as above them, the Last of Domunas begin to descend again to Exandria Firma, even as the Ash of their Homeland still rains from the sky.

Isn't it Funny?

Nydas laughs darkly as he realizes no one will ever see the Hoard again and how just an hour before, he slaughtered a man over their blind desire.

Isn't it Cruel?

Laerryn feels the ground shatter beneath her feet as her life's work keens its song to the sky, and the scene of the tree ripping open at her attack plays before her eyes once more.

And Aren't I a Fool?

Zerxus bends the knee and bows his head. At his left Vespin, at his right a red-haired Drow Woman with too many arms. The Lord of the Hells reaches down and tips his chin up, and once more, Zerxus is forced to see his Husband's face. His weapon coos in delight at the attention.

To Happily Listen, Happily Stay,

Quay smiles, clutching Laerryn to him, thinking of what would have happened had he stepped over the threshold into the arms of his Queen and casts the thought aside, hugging his beloved tighter even as the world goes dark around them.

Watching Them Drift...

The web of fire grows, spreading across Toramunda and then all of Domunas.

Gold and Silver threads knot across Exandria.

Drift...

In the air far above, the survivors watch as their home, and all the unknowing people upon it shatter beneath tearing earth, bellowing fire, and boiling waves.

Drift...

The threads become bars, a cage of cosmic energy with the world nestled safely within.

Drift Away.

The survivors turn to each other, their fragile hope fighting to stay together in the face of the growing cloud on the horizon, swallowing the sun in its billowing embrace.

Patia turns away, and the familiar stranger places her mask back atop her face. A cold yet comforting hand rests on her shoulder and ushers her on. Into the Unknown, and how she hated not knowing things.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #exu spoilers #exu: calamity #exu cerrit #exu nydas #exu laerryn #exu zerxus #exu loquatius #exu patia #purvan suul #cobalt soul #ruidus #leylas kryn #vespin chloras #Took a some authorial license of course.

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supanuts · 4 months

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my top albums of 2023

(but i'm cheating, probably, because of course i am)

tagged by @theelast-straw <3

in no particular order except for roughly release date/order in which i got obsessed with each album, i present you: the albums i've had on loop for most of 2023

i like to listen to albums from start to finish, i think for the same reason that i tend to rewatch the same movies when i can't sleep (the sense of familiarity) but i'm picking a favourite from each because all of them had that one (1) song i got obsessed with and/or made it into one of my very specific playlists... some even more than one, if i'm honest lol

my world, aespa (2023)

youtube

what can i say about my favourite gg except that i love them so much? their title tracks are always a 10/10 for me but so are most of the sides, and for my world we got some amazing track videos (my favourite was of course i'm unhappy). plus there's the added layer of collecting pcs and the friends i cry about pieces of cardboard with, and while i admit i went a bit overboard during my world and that may be one of the reasons i got overwhelmed and eventually bored so now i'm stepping back from collecting, i still had lots of fun and this was my soundtrack for most of it.

perfume, nct dojaejung (2023)

youtube

my sons and jungwoo, do i really need to say anything else... i was lowkey scared i wouldn't like the mini for some reason and yeah that wasn't a problem, i am still obsessed with perfume lol i think this came out right after i decided i wouldn't buy more physical albums except the ones that i really loved the design of, and then i loved the songs so much that i ended up getting doyoung's box... and eventually two pbs from ktwt because i wanted to make covers out of them, and then never did lol

golden age, nct (2023)

youtube

pado and baggy jeans are my most played songs of the year; wish i could say i've gotten over the brain worms baggy jeans caused but nope, it's still on loop in my mind months later and i fear it's not going anywhere 👖

nil, the gazette (2006)

youtube

so this one is not new... but for some reason in the first half of the year, i think? i got back into the gazette; i've been listening to nil now and then throughout the years but now i also listen to their whole discography regularly. it's like being 16 again but with back pain lol happy to announce nil is still my favourite album of all time, and that i somehow remember all the lyrics! for this one i'm picking cassis because it has been one of my favourite songs since it came out and then cemented its place forever in my heart when i saw them play it live, which is something i'll never forget.

fact check, nct 127 (2023)

youtube

ICONIC MOVE, MY MOTION. i adore fact check, 127 never miss with their title tracks and i always go through at least a few days where i need to play them on loop because they won't leave my mind otherwise... but this time, if i could only pick one song from the album, it'd have to be angel eyes. i don't know if it's the happy 90s boyband energy or what but it's so special to me, makes me happy every time i listen to it <3

ร็อก เล็ก เล็ก, micro (1986)

youtube

we all know when and where this came from, don't we? one thing i'll always be grateful to only friends for (other than sandray both as characters and as a ship) is the music; i discovered so many wonderful songs and artists by listening to the playlists, and of course my favourite was micro, particularly this album which i started to listen to because both อย่าดีกว่า and อยากจะบอกใครสักคน are in it, and while they're still my favourites i really like the rest of the album too.

the land is inhospitable and so are we, mitski (2023)

youtube

i think i discovered mitski back in 2018 when be the cowboy came out, but for some reason i never listened to her music a lot? i had a pearl in my playlists, but it wasn't until laurel hell came out in 2022 that i started to listen to more... and then this year we got this amazing album and she's now one of my most listened artists of all time. my favourite is my love all mine because, like for most of twitter, that was (one of) my sandray song(s).

something to give to each other, troye sivan (2023)

youtube

this album came out right when i was itching for new music and to make more playlists because i was bored of always listening to the same songs. it was kind of a break? not because it's super different from other things i listen to, i don't think, but idk it was exactly what i needed right when i needed it. there's something about can't go back, baby that has always made it stand out to me, but don't ask me what.

to. x, taeyeon (2023)

youtube

mother! taeyeon has been in my life continuously for the longest time; her voice is such a comfort, it doesn't matter if i stop listening to kpop for years (which i've done a couple times in my life because i am that dramatic) i don't think i could ever quit her. honestly the whole album is perfect, no notes, and we even got a live clip for all for nothing. best way to end the year!

not tagging anyone but if you see this and want to do it you can consider yourself tagged <3

#tag game #sorry it's mostly kpop lol

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sailorbadger · 1 year

Text

re: my tags on this post, @psychicbluebirdmiracle wanted a list so here’s some of my favorite Robin Hood adaptations in no particular order:

Sidenote: most of these are either extremely niche and/or “you may think it’s bad but I think it’s good” because that’s just what my tastes are.

BBC’s Robin Hood: You all knew this one was going to be up here and if you didn’t, you haven’t been following me long enough. This is what gave birth to my brain worms. I’ve given a PowerPoint presentation about this which was three hours long. I have subjected other people to this show to the point that there is now a yearly celebration where we watch only one specific episode of this show and make memes about it. I am insufferable about this. The day I stop thinking about this show is the day I have lost all brain activity.

Back to Sherwood: I am once again reminding everyone that I have offered to exchange my firstborn child for the original English version of this show. The Vibes on this show are perfect and I will never forgive the people that cancelled it after only 13 episodes. Fun time-travel related hijinks? Sign me up.

Princess of Thieves: Who doesn’t love a Keira Knightley movie?

Disney’s Robin Hood: Listen, you just can’t go wrong with this one. Very solid all around. But there’s another reason I’m putting it on this list. My cousins (ages 6 and 4) were staying over with us on Easter and I put this movie on at one point to get them to sit down for a few minutes while my parents made lunch. My godson (the 6-year-old) asked me why I knew so much about what was going on in the movie and I explained that I watched it when I was young, and then my dad said that the movie is so old that he watched it when he was a child. It was a lovely inter-generational bonding moment over my special interest as my dad explained to my cousin about the different characters and how there’s a lot of different versions of the story.

Not really an adaptation but continuing from the last one, this YouTube video: Some of the best analysis on why most mainstream Robin Hood adaptations suck. This is why I mostly just like the versions that have good Vibes.

This soundtrack to a Swedish Robin Hood musical: I can’t even begin to explain how upset I am that I found out about this musical after it had already been cancelled due to the pandemic. I could have gone and seen it. There’s not even a DVD of it. At least we have the soundtrack which is full of bangers. Everything sounds as over-produced as you’d expect from the country that makes over-produced Eurovision songs, and I love every second of this. If you’re not going to listen to the whole thing, at least listen to Prince John’s song.

This even more obscure soundtrack to a Finnish Robin Hood play from 1997: Everything here is just Vibes. I wish I knew what the actual plot of the play was but these songs are great on their own. The fact that the singer from a famous Finnish band (Neon 2) sings a couple of the songs is just ?????A Choice???? but a perfect one at that.

Robin Hood: The Great Escape: My most vivid memories of listening to this play that’s a podcast is when my IBS was really bad and I was on the bathroom floor crying in pain, so I just put this on to distract me. Anyway, this one has good characters, interesting mix of different cultures and LGBT+ representation, and it all works seamlessly in a way that doesn’t feel forced. Definitely worth a listen.

Robin McKinley’s The Outlaws of Sherwood: I bought this book from my local library’s clearance about 15 years ago. It’s a solid fun adventure and that’s pretty much all I can say about it.

The Finnish opera adaptation of Robin Hood: The dogs in this are nightmare fuel and the whole thing is bordering on the “so bad it’s good” line. The lyrics are so weird at times, it’s awfully cringy sometimes but I love it so much. I own it on DVD and it has English subtitles so if anyone wants to watch it sometime let me know.

Carrie Vaughn’s The Ghosts of Sherwood and The Heirs of Locksley: I need a third part of this. These are a quick read, about 100 pages each, about the children of Robin Hood. And although the premise may sound cliché and childish, I swear these are so good and worth your time.

C.K. Brooke’s Marian: Princess Thief: Ah, yes, the “disappointingly heterosexual” one. Putting aside the fact that this book missed a great opportunity in making at least one of the characters gay, it has an amazing all-female-cast of characters (there’s a male love interest there too I guess, I don’t care about him). This book made me feel like how Sailor Moon made me feel in high school with it’s focus on the Power of Friendship.

That one Finnish audio drama that’s based on Finnemore’s version: Everyone sounds so horny in this one for some reason and the actual text is not helping. The theme song is a banger. It’s a shame the CDs were copy protected so I couldn’t rip the files for myself.

A black-and-white recording of a Finnish play from 1971: The fashion is so 70s it hurts my eyes. The songs are so bad. The plot is almost non-existent but I love every second of this. (I would have linked it but you can unfortunately only watch it in Finland)

The 2009 movie with a dragon in it?????: I don’t remember most of this except that it’s definitely in the “so bad it’s good” category. They just shouldn’t make high-budget versions of Robin Hood when low-budget productions are so much more entertaining.

Edale Lane’s Heart of Sherwood: I need to re-read this one because it had everything I could have asked for. A lesbian Robin Hood with a good story that was a fun adventure which still somehow made me very emotional. 10/10.

That one zoom-play on YouTube: I bought the novel that was made based on this play just because this was so entertaining. In a year I’ve only read about 20 pages of the book but the play was so good and at one point so full of twists I was staring at the screen with my mouth open for like 10 minutes.

I could probably include even more things from my List (I have a list where I collect all the different versions I’ve seen/read/listened to etc), but this is already too long and I ended up taking a few things out. I only included versions I’ve enjoyed the most but there’s still plenty of good ones out there.

#robin hood #I love weird robin hood retellings #please someone talk to me about them

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g0nta-g0kuhara · 1 year

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For the whole “list things about a character” thing

,,,,Kokichi

Ill try my best here!!

favorite thing about them: He's one of the most interesting characters I've ever seen!! I Literally cannot figure him out. On top of being a evil little bastard, he's also extremely fun and silly. He made me laugh just as much as he made me want to scream. He's one of the highlights of the game and V3 would not be the same without him! least favorite thing about them: Not being able to figure him out is a highlight for me, but also I wish there was SOMETHING I had solid ground on with the guy. I lack almost any ability to tell when he's genuinely telling the truth, which can make for some frustrating thought spirals. favorite line: Kokichi has a lot of really fun lines, but most of the ones that stick out to me are only stuck in my brain cause they inflict psychic damage onto me gdshjfkds so here's a funny one I like from the wiki: "Kaito, it's good to be confident, but not when you're wrong about everything all the time." (Anything with Kokichi teasing Kaito is hysterical to me)

brOTP: Miu and Kokichi worsties of all time <3

OTP: OUMOTA <3333 THEIR DYNAMIC IS SO SILLY. Kokichi knowing all of the right buttons to push to piss Kaito off is hilarious. But Also. The inherent bond of what they went through together in the exisal hanger. enemies to experiencing something together that you can't really define by words. Oh my goddd

nOTP: I really don't like Kokichi and Gonta together personally :[

random headcanon: I like the idea that Kokichi is in the middle-to-older range of the age range of the v3 students, and that his immaturity and childishness really is part of his personality rather than him being all that much younger than the rest of the v3 cast

unpopular opinion: This is probably the spiciest I'm gonna get with these, so please bear with me,, I wish there was more fan content regarding the aftermath of trial 4 with a Gonta or even Shuichi or Kaito focus rather than Kokichi. I understand why there is so much, considering that Kokichi is very popular and Gonta, yknow, died, but I have a hard time connecting with hurt/comfort starring kokichi taking place post-trial 4. Kokichi is a complex guy who's very fun to explore and very well liked so I understand, but it can still be a bit gutwrenching to not really see any stuff about Kaito, Shuichi, and especially Gonta regarding the aftermath of that trial. (Especially no Gonta. But the lack of serious/angsty Gonta fan content is a whole other can of worms) It's why I want to make more of it! But I dont have time currently gdhsjfkds

song i associate with them: SO MANY! But one is Cold Cold Cold by Cage the Elephant

favorite picture of them: Any panel from the ch5 closing argument comic. His expressions from that one are forever burned into my mind

#pluto answers #ask games

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dumbhero · 6 months

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endlessly curious about padan. tell me more

is this because of all the posts i tag him in well let me tell you he's wormed his way into my brain and will not leave. every song i listen to becomes about him and if it doesnt fit canon him it fits one of his many au's this is because i'm sick in the head

so a friend of mine decided to start a dragon age ttrpg campaign and invited me to play and i was hype and they really like dark and gritty campaigns and dragon age is already dark and gritty and me being me i was like what if i was silly lol ! what if i made a qunari mailman who got lost and ended up on another continent! and he's a little ditzy haha! completely not realizing at the time that like, what i described is a qunari horror story

because like their entire personhood is their job. if they fail at their job they're expected to kill themselves about it. this is seen as the honorable and reasonable thing to do. because if you fail you're functionally worthless and being worthless is worse than being dead. their whole deal is that they see their society as being one organism and individuals serve to perpetuate that organism and obviously because of this there's defectors and stuff but there's also lots of converts because life under the Qun (their religion/governmental body) is way better than life in a lot of other places where you'd have more freedom because like, they don't have money or poverty or hunger and they have superior medicine and sanitation to most of the world, right, and a convert is treated no differently than someone who was born into it and probably garners quite a bit of respect because it's difficult

but also like. they're very focused on efficiency--working as one is efficient, having individuals is inefficient--so people are assigned jobs based on what they're good at and their entire lives are controlled and monitored by other people. you arent allowed to have relationships or hobbies that arent approved right and like Padan is a huge believer in all this right because the system does like. Work. it's just that when it has failures the failures are compounding and untenable, like how mages are treated which we are Not getting into. but they're very like, not unemotional but every emotion is strictly controlled because if you don't you'll fuck up and fuck ups stall efficiency

but basically like Padan is a kind sweet boy with a profound amount of emotional intelligence just like, naturally, which caused him to act in ways that got him in a lot of trouble because kindness is seen as weakness so even though he's naturally very curious and smart he repressed his emotions so hard and punished himself out of being curious so hard it gave him brain damage and now he has basically zero short term memory. on top of this he's also kind of nearsighted so this makes it kind of hard for him to navigate traditionally but luckily he's also inordinately lucky (and much better with his other senses lol) so he always manages to be at the right place at the right time and also due to his empathetic proclivities he landed a Military Mailman Job

'karapadan' (which is his actual name and job) doesnt actually like exist in canonical Qunari lore but i based it off a real life military position my grandfather had (Chief Payment Officer), did have to modify it a little because they don't. have currency. so basically his job is to carry letters and things between soldiers and military leaders on the battlefield, hence why he's governed by the Arishok (head of military) and not the Ariqun (head of like, information) and we were joaking having fun because like, when this is set it would put him in a perfect position to deliver some sensitive information to a canonical character from the games, and him totally borking it by accident was funny and sorta tragic

his goal is/was to deliver a letter to Iron Bull to tell him to start espionage in Orlais (which is like fantasy france) but when he was getting on the boat the harbormaster accidentally directed him to the one taking him *to* Orlais instead of to Seheron (island next to the one he was on) where Iron Bull is. but the kicker is--he's never been off his home island. he's heard descriptions of these other places but never seen them, he has no idea how long a journey to Seheron or Orlais takes. on top of that he's struggling so hard to remember what he's supposed to be doing and what the person he's looking for looks like that not only does he forget Iron Bull's name, but he doesn't realize for several days he's not in Seheron.

he meets an elf and a human who kindly allow him to accompany them--he thinks they're converts, and because the elf has tattoos he can't make out well, he assumes they're of a higher rank than him (he's about as low as you can go, lol) so when he figures out he has not only failed and cannot hope to rectify his failure, but that all his hard work to become useful didnt pay off, he nearly commits suicide but his elf companion manages to unknowingly talk him off the edge. however, this presents a new problem--not doing so is considered a crime. the longer he lives the more his abject failure compounds and the more he has to face his life's worth of repressed emotions and the less he's able to cope with that

he also cares deeply about his classmates (qunari children are raised communally by one teacher who basically controls the rest of their lives, usually separated from any relatives) and when he was home he kept in touch with all of them despite most of them having vastly different jobs and never wanted much of anything except to see them and to Be Useful and now he's hundreds of miles away from them and can literally never return home or contact them and if he ever saw them in the wild they'd very likely kill him for defecting so he's really not handling that well. because like, he was very much holding this group together and without his involvement it's unlikely they'll talk much if at all .

basically i care him so much and i'm hitting him with hammers but i do want him to be happy but he's got to suffer a lot right now and if i keep going this post will be too long <3

#diary #asks #padan #long post #dragon age #he's the world's sweetest kindest qunari but this also makes him the worst

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rga531 · 7 months

Text

The Scar that Hurts

Chapter 5/6: "Greater than a god, lesser than a demon", that's what someone wrote in a broken wall from a kingdom that dared to defy her.

Words: 3023

Content warning: descriptions of sexual assaut.

← Previous chapter | Next chapter →

With each step her dress dragged across the floor; it was still dirty with wine, sauces and other things. It felt like she was being dragged down by all the sins of mankind. Her smile was gone. She didn’t even register the sarcastic comments the guests said about her dress.

Her steps created small earthquakes that only her could feel. Her vision blurred, as if black and white tendrils emerged from the floor. The laughter coming from the guests punctured her ears, worming their way through her brain.

A headache.

Her perfect body never really had health problems. Aside from her heart pains, headaches happened if she didn’t sleep for three days. It happened only when she was engrossed in her calculations.

The laughter became louder as the blood pumped right into her head. It was like her heart and her brain were one thing. And how it hurt.

She could feel the painful laughter worming its way into her heart. She could feel the poison pumping through her blood.

Everything she had done for mankind didn’t matter. Did it ever matter?

It was a massive joke and she was the unwitting punchline.

She was promised to be the queen one day, and, as a queen, she would do the best to create a peaceful and prosperous nation. The future queen, reduced to the world’s biggest clown, without even realizing it.

Did her mother ever have an ounce of faith on her? What else of the others? Xavi seemed so dismissive of her. No one called by her name. Did that mean no one recognize her as a human being?

What being a human meant? She read so many philosophers…she had to have the answer.

Monster…

“Ow! What? How dare you interrupt me?! I just lost a great hand and…oh, Toji?”

She realized a bit too late she stumbled upon someone. She lifted her head and saw no other than Etrien. She looked around and saw him playing a game of dice with some of his brother’s friends.

She heard them making snide comments about her dress. Their words, however, didn’t matter. Etrien was her friend, he would tell her the truth about herself. Maybe he would call her a human being, against all odds.

“Etrien, I need to ask you something.”

“One minute, Toji. I’m almost winning this!”

“Etri,” she held a hand on his shoulder; her red eyes looked right into his orange ones; she said, in a soft tone, almost hoarse, “please!”

Etrien looked up to Tojava. He looked at her with pity; Tojava’s gaze ran away from his for a moment. He looked to the others and they shrugged.

“Alright, tell me.”

“Etrien, do you think I’m a human?”

Etrien blinked twice. His entourage giggled behind and made a few comments that Tojava chose to ignore.

“To be honest, of course not.”

Tojava’s eyes widened and then she looked down. She closed her fists and her flames started to dance around her. The others looked concerned, while Etrien seemed puzzled.

A monster that was what she and that’s what she will always be. Maybe…maybe…she just…

She took a deep breath. No, there had to be a reason why he answered that.

“Is something wrong, Toji?”

“Etri,” she looked down to him, “Why do you say that?”

“Oh, so your mother hasn’t told you?”

“Are…we talking about the same thing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then, what do you mean to say I’m not human?”

“Oh, that’s simple neither do I.”

“Huh?”

“My brother just told me that.”

“Your brother…is a very smart for his age.”

“And he likes you. It’s the secret knowledge that has been passed through centuries among members of royal families,” Etrien got and waved to his friends, “Gentlemen, shall we?”

They went to another room, where Tojava gasped loudly at the sight.

Some nobles were clapping their hands while slaves danced with them. The band drunkenly played upbeat songs. The slaves seemed exhausted, their clothes drenched in sweat and some of them with tongues outside their mouths.

Tojava put a hand in front of her agape mouth.

“Look at who’s here.” A man called from an armchair. He had two girls sitting down on the handles, feeding him grapes.

“Aitar, Toji is here.”

Aitar was the first prince of Etarasca. He had a fame for being the most beautiful man of the Etarascan court. He also was one of the wisest. Even at his young age, he had written books on philosophy and astrology. He was also champion of many sports, such as archery and wrestling.

“The beautiful princess of Fallave. What do you wish to know?”

He got up from his seat and smelled Tojava’s hair. She thought it to be strange. She looked at Etrien, who dropped his smile and stared at her without looking at anything in particular. She noticed his eye twitched, but she wondered if it was unconscious or not.

“I…” she glanced at the poor slaves dancing there.

“She wants to learn the secret, big brother.” His smile returned just as quickly as it left.

“Ah, the secret. I thought your mother already told you that, but I’ll gladly tell you about.”

“I…” she glanced at Etrien, who just smiled at her.

“Let me put this way: you learned that the gods stayed in the World Before, right?”

“Yes, that there is no point in waiting for them. Mankind must find its own path alone.”

“The truth is…there were no gods at all.”

“Huh? I mean, that’s one of the most common theories.”

“Because,” he gave her a wide grin, “the gods were us, after all.”

“…what do you mean?”

As if on cue, one of the slaves fell unconscious.

“Oh, someone help him.” She turned to Aitar, “Haven’t they had enough?”

“Tojava, you asked us to let the slaves enjoy the party. And so did we. But I was waiting for you because I wanted to educate you. You need to understand that all those ideas that you have are…immature.”

“Immature?” She walked to the man who fell, after grabbing a tankard of water. “Do you want to kill them?”

“Of course not, my dear Tojava. You have to understand that slaves are men and women that are underdeveloped. They had not time or circumstances to fully develop themselves. That is why we have to guide them to their happiness.”

“Do they look happy to you, Aitar?”

“Of course not, because they aren’t on their most suitable environment. I am merely teaching them that, even if you invited them, they don’t belong here. They have their own rules, their own morality. They tend to be resentful from our birthright, so they try to distort things like ‘justice’, ‘kindness’ into their own benefit. Instead of working hard and buying their freedom like the order of things dictates, some of them decide to revolt and we need to quell them. Everyone in the court is concerned that you have slave-friendly thoughts.”

“I just want…aren’t we all human? We all have natural virtues.”

“The fact we merely share the same organs in our bodies do not imply that we are the same. We are gods, Tojava. Do you know what’s the difference between a god and a demon?”

“It was in your book, right? I received it three days ago, but I didn’t read it beyond the summary because I was busy with the equations.”

“Then let me preview to you: everything a god does is right, because of his rights. A god has command of himself. He is wise to know how to use his power and can savor the fruits of these rights. In contrast, everything a demon does is wrong. No matter how much ‘justice’ the demon practices, it’ll never be enough, because there’s always a foolish desire to prove himself. If he saves a child from drowning, it was to sate his desire to prove himself, while a god does it simply because he judged it rational. A god would’ve known if the child was worth saving, while a demon just goes blindly.”

“But did the demon really commit a sin by just saving someone?”

“Demons don’t exist, Tojava, because otherwise our good deeds would be meaningless. The peasant, both the poorest to the richest, is stranded between two extremes, of god and demon. He might choose the right thing sometimes and the wrong thing other times.”

“And what makes us gods?”

“Tradition and great acts. The gods of the World Before were merely men and women who reached apotheosis from great feats. We might have forgotten their names, but their deeds echo in history through their descendants: us.”

Tojava gave him a look of disbelief. She started to think of many questions that would poke holes in his logic, but Aitar continued.

“If it wasn’t for us taking the helm, this world would have died long ago after the Scar.”

“But this world will die.”

“What are you talking about?

“I made the calculations. It ends with humanity consumed by its sins and dying.”

The entire room erupted in laugh. Even Etrien giggled a bit.

She felt a bit hurt.

“You’re a smart girl, with the body of a full-grown woman, Tojava,” Aitar said, approaching her face, putting a finger under her chin, “You must know as long as humanity has gods, it’ll survive and eventually prevail. Do you remember the myth of the flood?”

“In the flood, the sheep didn’t do anything but discuss among themselves and all the other animals, but a lion took over the ship’s wheel because no one would dare to touch it. The sheep, humiliated by their fear and indecision, agreed to let themselves be eaten by the lions.”

“That is why a lion doesn’t care about the opinions of sheep. Speaking of sheep, I shall grant your request.”

With a snap of his fingers, the slaves stopped dancing. Some fell to the ground, overexerted. Others begged for water and his entourage teased them. One of them even drank the water first and then spit on one of them; they laughed.

“See how magnanimous a god can be, Tojava. A wise god must be aware of the limits of his servants, so that he can extract the most of their work just this close of expiring.”

“That’s…it…” she thought of her equations and the big zeroes at their ends. She gritted her teeth and said, “That’s hypocritical!”

“What?”

“Do you really believe everything you do is right? They are suffering just to appease us! This didn’t stop wars between nobles themselves. This is what will kill us all!”

Everyone laughed at her again.

The pain in her heart just grew.

“Tojava, as I said, you have unbecoming thoughts. But with time, you’ll learn to think like a proper goddess.”

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you heard? It seems all those equations have made you numb to matters of politics. The Fallavin council has chosen me to spouse you.”

Tojava had her mouth opened. She looked at Etrien, who also couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Don’t take it personally, kid.” Aitar said, passing a hand over his head, “I’ll let you have fun with her once or twice a year.”

Etrien ran away and didn’t even look back.

“Wait, Etrien!” she turned to Aitar, “Where’s the proof?”

One of his friends handed her a copy of the document.

“That’s the seal of the council…it’s true!”

A sharp pain in her heart erupted. It wasn’t just a metaphor anymore. It was one of those pains that came and go related to her heart.

“Oh, poor Toji’s heart couldn’t handle the joy. Let us take her to somewhere more private.”

Aitar took his men and Tojava and they went into a nearby room. Tojava didn’t resist. Her heart hurt, however, enough to make her wanting to die. It would stop soon, but at that moment of pain, she was too distracted to notice.

They made her lie down in a bed.

Aitar was on her. He held her wrists. His face…scared Tojava.

“Aitar…what are you doing?”

“You know, I don’t want to wait a couple of years until the marriage is done. You have a body too beautiful for your age. Your breasts, your legs, your hair…I wanna have fun with you.”

“Aitar…you’re not making me comfortable.”

“I think of your body every night ever since I first laid eyes on you. How nice it’d be biting every part of it. Putting things into it.” His grin became deranged as he passed a finger under her chin, going to her collar.

Tojava tried to look around, to see if anyone could help her, but all his entourage were laughing at her.

“No, no, no, please, stop, Aitar. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m a god, Tojava. And since you refuse to be one, you can only choose to be a peasant, a slave, maybe even a demon. And I can do this because I can.”

He grabbed her by the neck.

“AAAHH!”

Instinctively, she kicked him away in the ribs.

She ended up kicking him harder than she intended. Thus, he crashed against a wall.

“Argh! You whore!” he cried, clutching his abdomen as his friends helped him to get up.

Tojava breathed heavily and got up, using a nearby cover to protect herself.

“You can do this the easy way or the hard way. Argh!” he cried.

“Let me deal with her, boss.”

One of the men held a knife and jumped at Tojava, slicing her dress. In a reflex, she screamed and slammed the back of her hand against him.

She didn’t even pay attention to the black-and-white flames around her hand, much less to the “thud”.

When she stopped screaming, she looked around and they all had strange looks on their faces. She turned around and gasped.

In the wall, a large spot of blood, painting the wall. And, on the floor, there was a body. The neck was twisted and the eyes had just exploded.

He was dead. Killed by her.

“You monster!”

“You killed him! You bastard!”

“She’s a menace! She’s going to kill us all!”

“We need to kill her first!”

“See, Tojava.” Aitar said, “You were never like us! You were always an abomination! We tried to make you as compliant as a sheep. But you’re only good dead!”

As the litany of insults continued, she thought of all the events. She clenched her fists and looked down, while tears rolled through her face. Again.

Xavi just used her.

Both nobles and peasants didn’t care about doing good.

Her mother called a monster.

Etrien was gone.

And now, the man who was supposed her future husband was a disgusting creature.

She was alone.

She was nothing.

Nothing she ever did matter.

People wouldn’t learn to be good.

“…everything a demon does is wrong. No matter how much ‘justice’ the demon practices, it’ll never be enough…”

Then she remembered her equations.

In her mind, behind the noise of her insults, she started calculating. Her equations assumed that people could choose between good and evil. Aitar said that people are swinging between choosing good and evil, between god and demon. What if she eliminated the option to be evil?

In her mind, numbers and variables turned into pieces of a puzzle that just solved itself. She could see the graph right in front of her, as if it was drawn with chalk in a wall: that once falling curve, reaching zero, now took off.

The problem of evil was solved – it was just a matter of eliminating evil itself. It was so simple she was ashamed of not having thought before.

Then, she remembered why she didn’t think of it: it would require her to impose her will on others.

But did it matter if it was the work of a demon? Nothing, absolutely nothing would change the fact that she was a monster. All her good deeds, all her bad deeds, would be the same. It wouldn’t matter if she saved people or if she let them to die.

That made her the only person capable of saving the world. She would turn all of humanity into moral, correct gods.

Black and white flames started to dance around her.

The litany of insults stopped.

“Am I monster, right?”

She said, in low voice. Slowly, she lifted her head. Her eyes looked as if they were made of glass.

The men started to slowly back away, going for the door.

With a single gaze, black and white flames combusted the door.

“Tojava,” Aitar said, trying to smile, but it was clear he had fear in his voice, “Don’t do anything rash. I’m a god, remember? I can forget this small slip…”

“Nothing I’ll ever do will be enough. Nothing will remove the taint of sin from my heart. I was born from the Abyss, daughter of a drunk woman and an abomination beyond your comprehension.”

She lifted her hand. The flames turned into a spike of black and white material.

“All I see in front of me are sheep who think they’re lions. Aitar, you gave me the tools to create a new world, where the problem of evil is solved. You, however, won’t be part of it.”

With a mighty scream, she launched herself at them.

In a few minutes, the entire room was painted red. Pieces of organs and members were littered over the floor.

No white spot remained in Tojava’s dress.

She had Aitar at blade point. Mere centimeters from his neck.

The man begged for his life without saying a word.

She stared at him. Her eyes burned, while black and white flames danced around her, creating a deathly aura around her.

With one last scream, she lifted her blade.

The door opened.

Tojava glanced.

It was her mother and Etrien.

She dropped her blade. The moment it touched the ground, it disappeared, like dust blown by the wind.

While her mother screamed, Etrien tried to caught up with him.

She shoved him off. She didn’t even look back.

One week later, Fallave invaded Etarasca. The Fallavin Empire began.

#original work #genre: fantasy

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