The Greatest Movie You'll Never See! - Goncharov (1973)

I believe that I have made the most comprehesive video essay on the 1973 film Goncharov that has been released to date, including restored footage, interviews, and rare behind-the-scenes insight into this forgotten film.

More info below the cut

Special Thanks to Molly Noise (She/Her) for composing the original music Matt Crowley (He/Him) for his quotes Marisa BeBeau (She/Her) for graciously letting me interview her. You can support her work at @sabertoothwalrus

You can also buy a copy of the 'Nico the Catboy' zine here!

Bibliography

Benjamin, Walter. The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction. Penguin Books, 1935, pp. 1–26. Connanro. “Goncharov Master Document.” Google Docs, 20 Nov. 2022, docs.google.com/document/d/1Fbcn96MKyc1Bky6c0Ffex4APtar9iNht8ytfZHPpSss/edit#heading=h.bpd1oee4nr3q. Accessed 16 Mar. 2023. Jacobsen, Emily. “Ratatouille the Musical (Full Show).” YouTube, 9 Dec. 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pdTi-R-Apw. Accessed 15 Mar. 2023. Juli. “Goncharov Score Masterpost.” Tumblr, 21 Nov. 2022, www.tumblr.com/thisisnotjuli/701573313313587200/goncharov-score-masterpost?source=share. Accessed 16 Mar. 2023. Lauren Shippen. “Ice Pick Joe Quote.” Tumblr, 1 Nov. 2022, thelaurenshippen.tumblr.com/post/701652426816733184/i-know-that-ice-pick-joe-operates-mostly-as-a. Accessed 15 Mar. 2023. Marisa BeBeau. “Nico the Catboy Archive.” Sabertoothwalrus, Tumblr, 25 Oct. 2020, sabertoothwalrus.tumblr.com/tagged/nico%20the%20catboy/chrono. Accessed 15 Mar. 2023.

Made a video I thought the fine people of this site might like

Practising Goncharov Theme by @caramiaaddio on violin bc I thought it would add an extra layer of haunting…ness (is that a word?)

Here’s the excerpt I’m playing in the video:

Despite it being in a fuck off key for violin it is a really beautiful piece and it’s absolutely worth the trouble of practising in second position (world’s most hated position) and I’m HOPING 🤞 I can record and (maybe) post a full cover of it someday

Nows a good a time as any to promote this amazing video essay about Goncharov that I found a while ago. She goes really in-depth with the characters and honestly shows how good the film truely is and that it’s not just another mafia film

well somebody had to do it

*edit* people are starting to reblog this & while I credited everyone in the video I wanted to include the credits to the art/lore here as well!!

@gonchlore @thisisnotjuli @narriose @loseremo @acatpiestuff @beelezebub @wistfulwatcher @daffafrass @secretmellowblog @runfreebirdrun @ynnga @kayivy @almond-gallery @charismaquark @woods-wolves @citruslllad @perissologist @thesleepypencil @thegirlwholied @illogicalsarek @foervraengd

And the google doc!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Fbcn96MKyc1Bky6c0Ffex4APtar9iNht8ytfZHPpSss/mobilebasic

Now that the window of me running this blog 100% in-game re: goncharov has passed and I'm willing to admit it's an elaborate collaborative storytelling project I do want to post something I've been chewing on which is how creating goncharov content requires that the author deny the act of authorship. Obviously the form necessitates disavowal of your new inventions (new scenes, traits, motifs, etc.) even in the very moment you produce them; In the same act that you declare something about goncharov you are simultaneously declaring that it has always already been this way. And even on a practical level it would be fairly hard to TRY to credit to anyone in particular, due to the decentralized and collaborative form (not that some people haven't tried, and those masterposts are admirable, but will always only be someone's best guess when the creators cannot take credit or the creation simply will not work). Societal work like this happens all the time to naturalize ideas as preexisting even as they are continually produced and I just think goncharov a very cool little low-stakes simulation of that

the fuck is goncharov

tumblr nerds made up a movie and think they're sooo funny for it. and then when tiktok does the same thing they think it's cultural appropriation because they make tumblr a big part of their identity.

I think it’s really criminal how everyone is forgetting about the brief musical adaptation of Goncharov in the 90s. Its one of those really unlikely adaptations that no one predicts, but the reviewers who saw it compared it favourably to Evita! I mean if they can make a musical about Eva Peron, then the Italian-russian mafia really isn’t that far of a stretch. I blame Andrew lloyd webber. 

The whole story of how its producers planned to take it to the Broadway but it never got beyond previews in a off-west end theater in lyme Regis is fasinating though and completely insane. There’s a great youtube video essay on it - but I can’t remember the channel name (if you do please send it to me)

There isn’t a recording of it, but the production pictures include a ballet sequence between Katya and Sofia that fucking slaps.

Future historians lamenting the loss of Goncharov (1973), trying to reconstruct the plot from fanfic and metas, debating over recurring fic tropes and whether they are canon or popular headcanons.

There’s gonna be some fantastic video essays about Goncharov in five to ten years’ time

i can't wait for the youtube videos a few years down the road of people trying to explain how tumblr just decided to invent a movie for no apparent reason

The more I think about it, the more annoyed I am at Morbius being such a bad movie.

As several people have already pointed out, the writers clearly referenced Goncharov several times (ie gonchin time / morbin time) and yet didn’t take any notes on how to write a good movie??? I for one would have loved to see a clock motif in Morbius (obviously there’s more to Goncharov but this is just one of many possibilities)

Morbius could’ve been such a good movie if the writers took on board what made Goncharov what it is. But no. They just threw in a couple of lines to draw in the Gonch fanbase to profit of our love for the original. It’s fucking disgusting.

Morbius could’ve been the spiritual successor to Goncharov but it’s not. If this doesn’t illustrate the decline of art under capitalism I don’t know what does.

sorry for gonchin’ on main it just turns out that goncharov is the ideal movie for me seeing as, and i cannot stress this enough, i do not have to watch it to be completely in the known

alright but whos gonna make the video essay about Goncharov (1973)

I don’t know if it has been done yet but someone should make a video essay on Goncharov.

...huh, I completely forgot that Cloudsnap was a thing that happened earlier this year.