"shadows a teen! haha, teen angst edgelord" shadow was literally drinking at a bar with rouge in sonic x

rewatching once upon a time in the waste makes me so emo dude. because catra was so, so much happier the second she got far away from the horde. no constant question if she would be replaced, no constant need to justify every action, no feeling like the only reason people respected her was because of her rank. scorpia had shown beyond a shadow of a doubt that she cared about her, genuinely. I think that's why she was so carefree in the wastes. she was away from the constant expectations, and someone was watching her back. she could take her damn time because hordak didn't expect it all under a short deadline. she had scorpia to look out for her, they could goof off because they had time to mess around and she didn't have to constantly prove every single bit of worth. she showed she could do shit and people listened.

and the part that gets me is catra denying that she's miserable in the horde. when...yeah, she is. she literally hated it there, she was constantly stressed, she was constantly on the verge of a breakdown and it was completely unsustainable. scorpia was genuinely stating the facts. she hated the horde. she felt safe in the wastes because there was so much less pressure and she had someone who had her back. without that "come back with results, or else." over her head, she was so much less on edge.

but she goes back, because letting shadow weaver get away with hurting her feels like admitting defeat. it would be the best for her mental health, no doubt. but all she sees is that shadow weaver HAS to pay for what she did, she has to make her hurt like she did because of her. shes so caught up in rage and hurt. she could've been happy. she was just too scared to. she wanted to make shadow weaver feel the hurt she did, and all that ended up doing was denying herself what she really wanted: to be safe and wanted.

scorpia chose catra. catra was just too blinded by the fact shadow weaver didn't to see it until it was almost too late. fuck, man.

made princess scorpia hit so much harder. scorpia tried so hard to help catra. but she cannot fix her problems if catra wasn't willing to change. catra had to make that choice herself. scorpia deserves to be treated well too, and seeing her realize that was so cathartic. and no matter how much I love catra I am SO glad scorpia got out. god I love this show.

basically s3 was so good and set up the rest of the show so well thank you for coming to my ted talk.

.. opinions on wind runner? i feel like im one of the only ones that genuinely hates her sometimes

If you feel like the only one who genuinely hates her, I think you need to look around more. Wind Runner is a very widely disliked character, because she's often used within the story as a small antagonist who "threatens" the authority of Tall Shadow. Gray Wing dislikes her. Thunder is openly cat-racist to her. She spends several books trying to break through the moor cats' xenophobia to join a group that came to HER LAND.

Then, when Moth Flight is old enough to be a relevant character in Forest Divided, Wind Runner is turned into Yet Another mean mom the very moment Moth displays ADHD. She's contrasted to her mate Gorse Fur, who is a Soft And Good Dad, and ultimately MASSIVELY punished with the harrowing events of Moth Flight's Vision (even though, for most of that book, she's completely right.)

Ask yourself why they're especially harsh on WIND RUNNER for being mean to her child, in the arc with Tom the Fucking Wifebeater and his redemption death, plus Thunder being forced to stop being mad at his abuser Clear Sky, please.

To me, Wind Runner is an intense, ambitious woman who's demonized for it in a way that men just aren't. She's subject to several misogynistic trends within WC, plus a huge helping of xenophobia that goes absolutely unexamined. If DOTC cared at all about women, it would have treated her with the nuance she deserves.

Wind Runner is treated with nearly endless suspicion by Gray Wing through books 1 - 3, while he's bending over backwards to suck Clear Sky's toes.

Her wanting to join the group that came TO HER HOME and being a bit pushy about it earns a stronger reaction from Gray Wing than Clear Sky murdering people.

She's pressured into changing her name "to fit in," and it's still not enough. She wanted to join the group so bad she changed her name, at the request of the Mountain Cats, for a chance of being better accepted

This came after she'd already saved Jagged Peak's life when a burrow collapsed on him. She's plenty trustworthy.

She keeps doing shit to try and prove herself to this group of assholes. Remember Bumble being dragged back to her domestic abuser? Gray Wing interprets this as a power struggle, when WIND RUNNER WAS NOT EVEN PART OF THE GROUP AT THE TIME.

From Wind Runner's POV, she did something that the Moor cats wanted done. It was fucking evil. It was committing violence against another member of the out-group the cats see her as.

But who actually has the power here? Tall Shadow does.

Gray Wing said it himself that she could have come up with some excuse for Bumble to stay, and she didn't. In fact, any cat could have spoken up. No one did.

and still. STILL. Wind Runner gets nothing. Her reward is Gray Wing surmising that actually, her doing their sick dirtywork was a political move.

It's more consistent as a motivation with how Wind Runner wants to join their group. The thing she's been doing.

She only actually gets to join the group after Thunder starts publicly hurling slurs at her for suggesting they need to be ready for Clear Sky to attack them. "What do you know about peace? Last time I was here you were NOTHING BUT A ROGUE WITH A ROGUE'S NAME"

Gray Wing even starts purring when she gives birth, because her ambition goes away briefly and she "stops bossing everyone around." this is treated like a sweet thing. god forbid women retain their personalities when they have kids

She loses her first premature child to a seizure and Gray Wing starts proselytizing his religion to her. "Maybe it's a good thing your weakest child died because Jesus has them now" I want to beat him with a hammer

When her second child gets sick, Clear Sky has a bright idea that involves killing it. I refer to this as his "reverse leper colony" suggestion. He only develops a sense of humanity towards the sick when his brother's pregnant wife is in danger. Wind Runner and her kitten barely seem to clock as people to him.

It's only after her SECOND baby succumbs to a horrible, painful death that she decides the moor cats are assholes, and she goes to start her own group. It's LONG overdue. I was extremely excited to see it.

Now. Listen.

I've been treated just like Moth Flight before. I've practically heard the scolding in Book 6 Chapter 3 verbatim. I'm not downplaying anything about Wind Runner being harsh to her; being yelled at like that never fixed the problem.

What I'm saying is that this is the SAME arc that summons the hollowed-out ghost of Storm to coo that Clear Sky "never drove anyone away" with his abusive behavior and gives Tom the Wifebeater a heroic redemption death.

So why is the scolding from Wind Runner treated as unambiguously harsh? What's the difference between her and them?

Why is it that outside of this little bubble of the community, you can get buried in a flood of people crying about how "Clear Sky made Summisteaks Butt he thought it was the right thing :((( He feels bad about shoving Thunder's face in a weeping, pus-filled wound and trying to kill him :((((" but Wind Runner is mean about Moth Flight not catching a rabbit and she should be skinned alive

Why is WIND RUNNER held responsible for the death of Clear Sky's child in Moth Flight's Vision, WHEN IT WAS COMPLETELY HIS OWN FAULT??

So, why should I hate her? Because she's mean to the idiot protagonists? Because she's Yet Another Bad Mom whose actions ARE treated as Bad in the story, in the arc famous for openly weeping whenever someone's mad at their abusive dad?? When she has this whole horrific, unexamined story about how incredibly bigoted The Settlers are towards her and the extremes she goes to in order to please them?

I'm glad she's mean, actually. She should have been even meaner. I think she should have a gun

i think what people tend to not understand about She-Ra (reboot) is that none of the characters (minus Horde Prime) are meant to be seen as pure good or evil. People get really pressed over how the princesses treat Entrapta (which i don't agree is right) or how Entrapta did betray them, thus making her a "morally grey character" because she has obsessions and shows signs of autism. But this isnt just something that happens with Entrapta, it happens with all of the characters. Catra and Glimmer are the next obvious, so i wont go into depth there, but for instance Adora can be very prideful. She lets the fame get to her head and isolates herself from everyone else in attempts to save the world. now, the latter isn't all her fault, Light Hope and Shadow Weaver made sure of that, but its still there. Mermista wants to be the center of attention, she wants to be the most powerful of the group and have something unique like She-Ra. Perfuma struggles to get along with people who are pessimistic or even more objective because it interferes with her "vibes." Scorpia isn't the greatest with boundaries, Frosta's a fucking child, Sea Hawk is a fucking arsonist (seriously why do we skip over that one? love him but my guy needs therapy), Angella is a coward who (despite her attempts to keep her away) sends her own daughter into battle before going out on the front lines herself, and yes, Entrapta betrayed her friends. Which, despite it being manipulated into something else here, wasn't good. She may not have understood how badly she hurt her friends (until S 5), but she actively knew that what Hordak was doing was wrong because she agreed to help the rebellion. She shows later on that while she doesnt pick up on emotional cues, she does understand what is going on, she just focuses on tech, but she gets the danger and the stakes, she knows. Let me say, however, that none of these traits, from any of these characters, make them "morally grey" (i hate that fucking term btw) it makes them human. none of us are perfect. we all have flaws, we will all hurt someone in our lives, we all make mistakes. it is how you try to rectify those mistakes, that determines whether or not your character is "good." Hordak, despite every terrible thing he did, realized he was wrong in the end, and rebelled. Entrapta apologized and sacrificed her life multiple times to save not only her friends, but the entire planet, even Shadow Weaver, who I could make a whole other separate post on, sacraficed herself so that not only Catra and Adora could live on together and save the world, but so that she wouldn't be tempted with the power that was about to be unleased. The only character i can possibly think of that doesn't have an obvious flaw (that i can see) is Bow, but he's not perfect either. To suggest so would to put in on a playing field in which no human (or complex character) could survive. So for the love of god, stop looking at it like Nate made only Entrapta "morally grey" because every character in that show made mistakes.

edit: thank you for those who made me aware of the proper name/pronouns the creator (Nate) uses now, i appreciate you!

i think having a crush on geto suguru is a whole roller coaster.

the man is pretty, there are no lies there, even tho you try to convince yourself that he might be a little ugly just to humble your feelings, but you are fully aware that he might be the prettiest human being you have ever laid eyes on.

lazy kind eyes are narrower when he smiles. your hands ache to run through his hair, an undying urge to braid or put it in a bun forever nesting in your melting brain.

you stare from afar often, waiting for his attention whenever he decides to give it to you, watching the ups and downs and pitching in with comfort whenever he wants to confine in you.

It’s not impossible, ending up together, but you think its a long shot when you see just who he’s surrounded with, and the thought of why would he look at you when he has all those other people around him sneaks in and shadows all the hope you managed to find at the end of pandora’s box.

you try to push away the feelings as much as you can. mute his notifications, pouring all your focus on anything else, but one sleepless night where he decides to stay up with you puts all your work to shame.

conversations are always so fun with him. questions upon questions where it just flows where it wants to flow until your body begs you for sleep, but your heart and mind just refuse to let go, too high on the fast heartbeats and shivers running down your spine to be able to choose sleep other than this.

this. whatever this is. friendship, situationship, whatever it is, you can't help but think that it's either gonna be everything you wished for, or the thing that could be your final straw in this rotten life.

because at the end of the day, suguru is, and forever will be everything you've ever asked for, no matter how much you still try to fight back the feelings, even though you're sure you're down bad.

one day he rambles to you about a song he heard or a show he's binging, and you just think about how you can never have enough of that specific tone in his voice, or the way he angrily rambles when he saw something he didn't like or icked him off.

he must've caught you with the silly little smile on your face because he pauses mid-rant to ask. "the fuck are you smiling like that for?"

you feel the heat creep up your neck, but your smile involuntarily widens. "I love how when you just dislike something you dislike it profoundly," you tell him honestly. "you see something that doesn't fit your taste and you go 'i fucking hate this, let me tell you why. I'll be brief. (page 1/28747)."

suguru chuckles, raising his soda up to his lips. "nothing gets me more than the art I hate."

the conversation shifts, and you stare at the man thinking that he is either a smart man that can figure out easily that you like him from the way you treat him, or just the dumbest fucking human being you've ever met because oh my god aren't you obvious.

because maybe thinking about all the love you can give to him is just too poisonous for you to be able to think about anything else, yet the utter fucking fear of a confession gone wrong forever holds you back from the thing you have always prayed for.

Long Post Ahead

So, I just rewatched the first episode of Ice Queendom, and MY GOD, did it just pisses me off even more when I looked at the entire series as a whole.

It set up the characters, the dynamic, the pacing, and the motivation so fucking well that I'm more than just disappointed that the entire series derailed at the end. The first episode was amazing, and I think that's why many of us wanted to give the franchise another chance.

Already in the first 5 minutes of the episode, we were shown what we always wanted from canon RWBY: Yang's interaction with Summer's grave and how she felt about her mother. Hell, she even calls Summer "Mama", and gives her a wink as she embraces Ruby who just told Summer about her sister's admission to Beacon. It establishes their family dynamic, which only furthers when we see Tai interacting with his daughters.

He jokes with Yang and talks to her about their family having an outing, he goes with her to Vale to check on Ruby when she's late with the present, and they both wait for Ruby at the police station. He even sent them off on the airship. Where the fuck was this guy in the canon?? Ice Queendom actually managed to make him believable as a single father who's trying his best to support his girls, instead of someone sitting around in his house doing nothing.

The first episode also established the Schnee family so fucking well as a contrast to the Xiao Long-Roses, with Weiss already too familiar with her mother's day drinking habit and her tense relationship with Whitley, who was given a moment of complexity! What the fuck, they actually feel like siblings who never connected because their parents are never there for them without villainizing neither kids for feeling the way they do.

It even shows, in the end, how Weiss felt about her grandfather. Which had it been written by capable writers, we could've seen Nikolas Schnee from various perspectives. He could've simultaneously been a good family man, a great man whom Weiss idolizes, and a colonizing monster that he is to everyone else, especially to Vacuans whom he spearheaded their decline. There was something here, people, fucking do something about it.

And Blake... oh, baby girl I am fucking mad for you at the end of Ice Queendom. It sets her and Adam up so well, even with him clearly letting her go so that she, in his mind, can truly understand the cruelty of the world and how it treats Faunus. None of that bullshit "abusive relationship" shtick was shown, but rather what we expected of them: they have a fallout due to differing opinions but still aim for the same goal which is Faunus liberation.

But nope, her shadow self was villainized at the end for speaking the TRUTH. Weiss and her family did exploit the Faunus. Hell, Weiss herself in the nightmare clearly groups the exploitative, parasitic board members of her company in the same hostile environment as the people they abuse, the Faunus, who she portrays as monsters. In Weiss' mind, these two groups are the same, and that's fucking horrid. Weiss don't give a fuck about the truth at the end, she's just embarrassed that now everyone she knows sees how much of a fucking racist she is.

Ice Queendom disappointed me, and I hate it.

okay, fuck it. let's talk about remorse. more specifically, the lack of it

there was a post going around a while ago that claimed that izaya couldn't possibly have aspd, because he feels remorse, and its simply so subtle that it's hard to pick up on, and he simply hides it to maintain his image. given that this post is a jab at me and my work, i feel no guilt nor will feel remorse over jabbing right back.

(especially since, if you pay attention to the wording of the post and OP themselves, it's clear that they had a... certain other neurodiverse headcanon for izaya, and was for some reason mad at me for having a different one)

(but i digress)

let's talk remorse.

first of all, the "lack of remorse" criterion isn't, as some might be tempted to think, the most important "hallmark" symptom of aspd. let's break down how disorders are diagnosed!

in the DSM, disorder symptoms are classed into criteria. these criteria are sometimes grouped together. here's the criteria list for ASPD in the dsm-5-tr, the most current version;

under group A, we have the standard "this is what the disorder is like, and these are the symptoms of it. you need X amount to have this disorder." the criteria listed in groups B, C, and D are on their own because they are required for diagnosis. if the lack of remorse criterion was truly SO important that it was the hallmark of the disorder, the one symptom that sets it apart from all cluster B disorders, then it would be in its own group like those 3 criterion! but it's not, because while it's the symptom most people associate with aspd, it's not the hallmark of the disorder, nor is it explicitly required for diagnosis.

in fact, the main Thing about aspd is, uh, right there actually- a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others. in layman's terms, aspd is categorized by a consistent behavior pattern of treating other peoples' boundaries, wants, needs, and human rights, as trivial. this overall behavior pattern is then identified by specific actions or feelings the patient has- hence the criteria.

i could end this post here, honestly- who cares if izaya does or doesn't feel remorse? it's not needed for diagnosis, and it's izaya's whole thing to violate the rights of others- he consistently treats people as his playthings, wether or not they want him to (usually not!) he disregards others' feelings (the suicidal girls come to mind wrt this) and is incredibly reckless with both his life and the lives of others. it's kind of a done deal!

but i won't because i have more to say!

so. izaya. remorse. he feels it, but keeps it hidden. he represses it. and honestly, he always has some justification or another for whatevet it is he's doing. his targets had it coming because they're monsters. or stupid and cowardly. or had it coming. or it doesn't matter because he's a god amongst men. BUT- he does feel remorse! ASPD cured!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys i hate to tell you this, but i've felt remorse before. sparingly, but i have. i am a Person With ASPD from Real Life, i've been diagnosed professionally and even had multiple second opinions check and re-check, to the point that it became a running gag. i, without a shadow of a doubt, have antisocial personality disorder. And I Have Felt Remorse.

(my verdict is it sucks and is terrible and i have no idea how you people do it. yall need like, medals or something)

because, as you might have noticed... a lack of feeling remorse isn't actually the only thing listed. now, a lot of websites don't actually list the second half of the criterion, they just say "lack of remorse" with no elaboration. it's hard to find a website with the proper informatiom on it, especially if you haven't read the dsm to see the full criteria list, so you don't know what you're looking for. truly, i don't blame laypeople for not knowing this- it's not easy to find short of going to the source itself

but if you're writing long posts filled with "facts" about a disorder that you do not have, you better make damn sure your facts are right lest you spread misinformation.

(hell, i HAVE the damn thing and i make sure i'm as accurate as possible, because i acknowledge that Having The Disorder isn't a ticket to immidiate expertise. but imo it's especially egrigious when you don't have it)

but, the criterion itself is defined as "being indifferent to or rationalizing" harmful actions. Or Rationalizing. you can feel remorse as much as you want, but if you stomp it down with justifications about how you were right, it still counts!

and finally, the name of the game with diagnosis of any disorder is consistency. if someone can make their abuser cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's not aspd. that's just a special case. if someone can make anybody cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's aspd.

similarly, if someone can make most people cry because of them and feel no remorse, with one- or maybe two- exceptions, that's... still aspd. because the behavior expressed most consistently is a lack of remorse. one or two exceptions to the rule don't suddenly make you not have aspd, especially if you have multiple other symptoms. (in fact, in some aspd circles people do talk about having "exceptions," kind of like the aspd version of a pwBPD's favorite person. pwaspd feeling remorse or otherwise not meeting criteria in incredibly specific circumstances is in fact a documented phenominon. once again, this happened to me and i've been diagnosed multiple times over. were all those doctors wrong, or does aspd just not work like you thought it did?)

izaya consistently represses most of his more vunerable feelings. that's another one of his main things. if remorse is included in this, which it would be given the pattern, then izaya most consistently does not feel (or otherwise accept) remorse. a few slips of the mask here and there, where he can't stomp it down or ignore it, don't change that the most consistent behavior from him is a lack of remorse. in fact, him feeling remorse here and there makes the portrayal of aspd more realistic, imo-

people with aspd are still people at the end of the day, and aspd is just another mental illness. people are varied, mental illnesses present differently in everyone, and people have good days and bad days where symptoms are more or less pronounced. any symptom isn't going to be set in stone in severity or even presence in someone's life- severity of disorder changes with age, someone's circumstances, or even day-to-day, especially with cluster B disorders, where the people who have it are defined as being "dramatic, emotional, or erratic" (pg 735)

things change. people change. mental illness isn't as simple as people think, and aspd isn't as different from other illnesses as you'd think. people with it- including izaya- will have their good days and their bad days and their rare moments where something breaks through the clouds and for one moment, you feel normal, however distressing the feeling may be

that's not proof that the illness was never there. that's just life with it!

I'm sorry someone bombarded you with bitchy comments 😭. While my To Read list is lengthy and continually lengthier (actually I think something of yours with her is on it), I'd like to hear more about Ianneth-Fingon-Maedhros if you want to talk about them.

@polutrope

It wasn't really upsetting, just annoying and honestly a little bit funny. This guy left comments on all six chapters of By Love or at Least Free Will, every time I updated the story, just objecting to the entire premise of the story and ranting about how Elves have incorruptible pure souls and are immune to lust. I was sorely tempted to respond with this quote from "Laws & Customs Among the Eldar":

Even when in after days, as the histories reveal, many of the Eldar in Middle-earth became corrupted, and their hearts darkened by the shadow that lies upon Arda, seldom is any tale told of deeds of lust among them.

'Seldom' is not the same thing as 'never', and furthermore, I don't think lust is even a major theme of my story. It's more about conflicting obligations and unruly hearts.

In the end I deleted the comments without responding, because I have a personal policy of not engaging with people who are acting in bad faith. But I have to assume that this guy has no actual hobbies if he spends his time hate-reading entire stories instead of just...closing the window and moving on with his life. Maybe take up crochet, bro? Or volunteer at a soup kitchen? Watch a TV show that you like? Grow some tomatoes? Do something that will be more fulfilling than typing long screeds on AO3. I promise it will make you a happier person.

Anyway. On to the actual topic of your ask! As you've probably noticed, I am very fond of Russingon. However, I am also very fond of Fingon as Gil-galad's father. At first I balanced these two ideas by keeping my Russingon ideas and my Fingon-father-of-Gil-galad ideas in two separate universes, but then I started really fleshing out Gil-galad's mother, and it made me think some thoughts. To repeat something I said to @cuarthol in a comment on AO3:

...half the genesis of Ianneth was seeing so many stories (in multiple fandoms, not just Tolkien) where the woman is written out of a canon or semi-canon couple to make room for a popular M/M ship instead, without the female character being treated with any respect. I decided that the female perspective on that situation would be a nice change of pace and interesting to write.

I'm not trying to point fingers -- I'll readily admit that I have my male faves just like the next gal and that it's fun to make them kiss -- but the wives and girlfriends don't get a lot of love in fandom, do they? And it doesn't help that the legendarium in general tends to be a bit of a sausage fest. So I decided that Fingon would have a wife and be in love with Maedhros. But instead of focusing just on the forbidden love, I was going to focus on the wife's feelings, too.

Ianneth ("bridge-woman") is one of the Northern Sindar, from the community that lives around Lake Mithrim. She's the daughter of Annael (yes, that Annael), whom I've imagined to be one of the more influential leaders among the Northern Sindar, and particularly among the Elves of Mithrim.

Her betrothal to Fingon starts as a political arrangement. Fingolfin loves Fingon dearly, of course, but he's also been hinting for a while now that Fingon really needs to settle down and start having kids so that there will be a strong line of heirs should Fingolfin die. After all, Argon's dead, and Turgon and Aredhel abruptly fucked off to god-knows-where some three hundred years ago and haven't been seen nor heard from since. Your dad needs some grandsons, Fingon, and this also seems like a ripe opportunity to strengthen the Noldor's alliance with the Northern Sindar.

I don't think political marriage is unknown among the Elves of Beleriand. (For one example in the text, see Celegorm trying to marry Luthien to force Doriath into an alliance.) And the quote I drew the title of the aforementioned Fingon/Ianneth story from, also found in "Laws and Customs Among the Eldar," is:

The Eldar wedded only once in life, and for love or at the least by free will upon either part.

Free will could easily mean, "Are we in love? No. But I'll still marry you, for the good of our peoples, and I'll bring some of Dad's soldiers along with me." That sort of thing happened all the time among real-world nobility, so I see no reason why it can't happen among Elven nobility in Beleriand, too.

At any rate, Fingolfin arranges for Fingon to meet the daughters of some of the more powerful leaders of the Northern Sindar, and he's hint-hint-hinting that Fingon really needs to pick one of them to be his wife. Fingon, having been in love with Maedhros since they were young in Valinor, is not exactly keen on this plan. But he goes along with it anyway because he is a dutiful son, he knows that his father is right about needing to strengthen the line of succession, and he also knows that revealing his (quite taboo!) relationship with Maedhros to his father would probably break Fingolfin's heart.

It takes Fingon a while to decide who to court, but he picks Ianneth because he likes her sense of humor; she has the guts to gently tease him at their first meeting, which he finds quite charming. He doesn't think he can love anyone besides Maedhros, but he does look at Ianneth and think, "This is a woman I could grow to care for and whose companionship I think could enjoy."

The trouble begins when, over the course of their courtship, Fingon starts falling in love with Ianneth without falling out of love with Maedhros. And he doesn't know what to do about this. He can't call off the marriage, and he doesn't want to break things off with Maedhros, so he decides to just...keep the whole thing with Maedhros a secret and marry Ianneth anyway. It's not a good decision, but really, are there any options here that won't end with someone getting hurt? I don't think so.

So we have Ianneth, blissfully ignorant of her husband's infidelity (for now); Fingon, in love with two people at once and feeling horribly guilty about it, but unwilling to pick one partner over the other; and Maedhros, resigned to the situation but still hurting because Fingon is no longer his alone.

Maedhros' feelings are complicated by the fact that, once he meets her, he finds that likes Ianneth. It would be easier, he thinks, if he could write her off as just a political necessity for Fingon, but it turns out that she's charming and intelligent and kind, and he can understand why Fingon loves her. His feelings soften further once Ereiniel is born, because Fingon is so happy being a father, and he loves Fingon, so how can he begrudge him that? There's a line from "Famous Blue Raincoat" by Leonard Cohen that I always think of when I'm getting into Maedhros' head at this point:

And thanks for the trouble you took from [his] eyes. I thought it was there for good, so I never tried.

Things tick along about as smoothly as they can for thirteen years, until, in the aftermath of Fingolfin's death during the Dagor Bragollach, as Fingon prepares to send Ianneth and Ereiniel to the Falas for their safety, Ianneth learns his secret. This is understandably devastating for her, and leaves her wondering if Fingon ever really loved her as she loved him, or if his marriage to her was simply a politically expedient sham.

Add to that the fact that she leaves for the Falas less than ten hours after this revelation and spends most of that ten hours either crying or asleep, as she's too upset to really talk to Fingon about what she's discovered, and it leaves her with this horrible knowledge and all the worst thoughts that come from it gnawing at her nearly a full year until Fingon next comes to Eglarest -- time that she spends as the sole caregiver for her young daughter, among strangers in a foreign city, without her mother or her sister or any of her friends who might have theoretically been able to offer her some emotional support.

Theoretically is a key word there, though, because even if, say, her sister had come to Eglarest, Ianneth isn't sure she'd even be able to tell her. For one thing, she can't help feeling ashamed, because infidelity is very rare among Elves, and she can't help thinking that maybe she failed as a wife somehow, and if she'd done something different, Fingon wouldn't have strayed. Then there's the fact that he's the High King of the Noldor, and if this gets out it could cause a crisis in the Noldorin government and possibly tank the alliance between the House of Fingolfin and the Northern Sindar. Ianneth is a practical woman, and she's of the Northern Sindar -- the people who have been living practically on Morgoth's doorstep for centuries, with no Maia queen's magic girdle to protect them. Their alliance with the Noldor is vital, and she would never want to jeopardize it.

So Ianneth is just...completely alone with this pain. She has no one to turn to, no one who can comfort her. And that pain is central to her story, and a not insignificant part of Ereiniel's story, too.

Do you have any fic recs similar to your take on iroh? Treating him as an actual character with some fucked up issues is SO much more fun!! I love him and I am chewing on your art

YES!!!!!!!! everytime i post about shithead iroh moments i get nervous someones gonna think i dont like him or im anti iroh or whatever but i genuinely honest to god think his less than savory past and personality traits ON TOP of the things about him that make him so beloved by the fandom makes him better. like yeah i love all parent characters that are just big softies but big softie parents that also are kinda (very much ) fucked up are even better. to ME. and i dont usually judge how good characters are on the basis of how good of a parent they are which is oddly something that a Lot of people do but. U wont find any of that on this blog which is also why i loveeeee ursa.

BUT I DIGRESS! here is my absolute favorite. its unfinished but what is there is still very loaded. digs in deep to iroh. gets pretty nitty gritty with it too. it changed how i see iroh and specifically season 1 iroh. it balances his b1 behavior with his later revealed status as a grand lotus MASTERFULLY, and puts his manipulative and cunning side on full display. might even make you mad at him a little bit

this one is less of a take on iroh as like. a general and a grand lotus and the war side of him and more of him as a father. its short and sad and i adore all of this authors fics involving iroh. it still shines a good light on the consequences of irohs own actions though because lu ten dying was literally his fault. the selfishness and the manic desperation that bleeds through this monologue is kind of scary but also is tragically beautiful.

ALSO these specific parts near the end of salvage were REALLY good. i feel like iroh is definitely the kind of guy that does a whole lot of backhanded comments as a way of patronizing without probably even realizing he does it?? i think a lot of people forget that what makes iroh being “changed” different from zuko is that zuko is still a child, and iroh is like. in his fifties or something. a whole LIFETIME of probably doing everything zuko did pre-redemption but far worse, and plenty times over. take how young azula is when ozai let her loose into the world into account. take the fact that iroh was already a general by the time he was sieging bss into account. im not gonna compare and contrast crimes here but i am trying to put weight onto how long iroh has been in the game. nasty shit like this is bound to still creep in the shadows of irohs mind and will definitely slip out sometimes.

and i know i keep bringing up that one unfinished super gnarly au fic that features azulon putting zuko into irohs care following irohs return to ba sing se (after ozai disgraced himself in requesting azulon give ozai the throne since iroh lost his only heir). hopefully one day ill find it because i hate to think the author deleted it or whatever . but out of all the fics that dig into irohs crimes id say this one does it the deepest while also SOMEHOW managing to make iroh sympathetic just by how sheerly pathetic and miserable he is the whole time. ONE DAY THOUGH. i pray that i will find it. because i have like over 200 pages of history on ao3 and i cant remember when exactly i read the fic so . searching for it has been kind of difficult but if i find it trust i will post it lol

Does Brenner really asks Henry "what changed your mind? Is there someone else"? Are you serious? Is that actual dialogue?? I'm just shocked, how is no one talking about how weird Brenner is with Henry? does it just flies over most peoples heads?? What the hell

That is straight out of the plays I saw. Both of them. Verbatim.

Henry decides to leave HNL because Patty asked him to come back to do the school play. He tells Brenner he wants to leave, and the scene more or less goes like this:

"I'm leaving." "I'm sorry to hear that. Can I ask why?" "I've decided I don't want to do this (read: make contact with the Shadow) anymore." "What changed your mind? Is there someone else?" "...No." "What, you think you can be normal? Go to prom with some stupid girl?" (Taking pages out of byler's playbook, I see)

And if I recall correctly, that's when Henry starts trying the theater doors to get out. Brenner goes on to tell Henry that he's all Henry will every have, etc. Brenner also, at one point, refers to Henry as "my boy", to which Henry whirls around and storms back towards the stage while growl-yelling "I'M NOT YOUR BOY". (And god it's so fucking good in person.)

Brenner very much treats Henry like a misbehaving/unfaithful wife. It had me gasping even the second time I saw the show and knew it was coming. I expected their dynamic to be clear, but I didn't expect it to be this blatant.

(Right down to love triangle blocking and shared color palettes! Slay. I hate it.)

More "fun" freak facts: Brenner kisses Henry on the head twice during his first stay in the lab:

When he's trying to trauma-bond Henry to himself by forcing him to lose control and kill a rat, only to present himself as a sole possible source of comfort for Henry. After Brenner cups Henry's face in his hands to take readings of his pupil sizes (1.9 and 5.9 respective to left and right eyes...1959...), Henry turns to sob into Brenner's shoulder about it, and Brenner hugs him/kisses his hair and tells him that what he did was "very good". (All of this while Henry's displaying, and I quote, "traumatic mydriasis", which is consistent with strokes and major head injuries. No medical treatment for Henry, just kisses and petting from Brenner.)

When Henry's having his grand mal seizure after displaying images of Dimension X. Brenner doesn't give him proper seizure care, he just cradles him, pets him, and kisses the top of his head. While Henry's half-aware post-seizure, Brenner asks him if he'd like to make contact with the Shadow. Henry agrees, but then as soon as he's slightly more aware he looks to a doctor behind him and literally asks for help. He looks back and says "Help..." Brenner also massages Henry's shoulders while he's ball-gagged in the '70s, and tells him he's been "such a good boy these past few years", which means he's fit to meet the children, which are referred to both as his and Brenner's children, but also as his siblings.

This means he kisses/caresses Henry more than Patty does. Period. Point blank.

Brenner also has some choice lines about Henry and killing. Henry's being forced into killing this whole time, but Brenner turns it around on him and says, verbatim, "You liked it more than you thought you would". It's 10000% giving "You actually wanted it/You were asking for it" irt being, uh, forced into doing something that you didn't want to do. (Especially irt the Shadow and all of its rape coding...Yikes!)

Brenner also massages Henry's shoulders while Henry's ball-gagged and belted to a chair in the '70s, all while telling Henry he's "been such a good boy these past years", which means Brenner has deemed him fit to meet the children...the children which are referred to both as Henry/Brenner's children, but also as Henry's siblings.

Yeah. They're considered Brenner and Henry's children ("You're as much a father to these children as I am"), but they're also Henry's "brothers and sisters". You do the math on that one.

Lots of freak vibes all around.

cariad’s obsession with the female call of duty characters is starting to get unhealthy (it has been for quite a while)

valeria, kate, farah 💞

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valeria garza might have committed many heinous crimes, but who hasn’t? :). don’t act like you’re innocent. let’s be partners in crime, val, forget about everyone else. (i’m losing it)

(i would do anything for that woman, oh my GOD. i’d let her shoot me)

i just wanna be kate’s wife. that’s all i want out of this life. maybe i have a thing for older women, maybe i have a thing for american women.

(that sounds odd, lmfao, idk what it is. y’know when a character has a non-american accent, and in every fanfic it’s always pointed out? “their deep british accent rung through your ears”? i’m like that with american accents, for some reason?? american accents are deemed the norm, so no one pays attention when a character has a standard northern american accent, but i love them 😭 and southern american accents)

i want farah to teach me how to ride a motorcycle. please, ma’am. i just wanna spend any amount of time with farah, tbh. she’s so beautiful, and smart, and strong, atkajsksksk.

(side note - i feel so weird calling a woman “ma’am” because i call my actual mother “mam” and the pronunciation (the pronunciation i use for “ma’am” anyway) is literally the same)

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operators you probably don’t care about 💞 (calisto, stiletto, roze, kleo, nova, luna)

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fuck the royals 🤬, fuck the royals 😏. look, she seems pretentious af, but i love her for it. what was that one voice line? “can i play with you? mhm.” what does that mean, calisto???

(my hearing is shit so if that’s not what she said, don’t tell me :). i’d rather pretend, LOL)

most of the content i see for stiletto is shipping her with könig. she is literally dating me, how dare you disrespect our relationship like that. i could treat a woman better than him, anyway 🙄.

(sorry, könig, you’ve become my punching bag, i promise i don’t actually hate you. i’m just jealous of your fans, that’s all)

rozlin goddamn helms. she was once a shadow, right? no wonder she left that company. i could treat my employees better than graves could. back to actually talking about roze herself, mw19 roze had a chokehold on me, man. she’s so AH. (you figure out what that means)

(fuck you, graves, i may have stated that i liked southern american accents, but this excludes you (and most men, southern accents on women, i should’ve clarified))

kleopatros gavras. that woman. now, where the hell is the hype for her? i feel she’s very smart, and obviously very strong. i love smart women. i love strong women. i love women. doesn’t seem very friendly, but i can work with that. (that sounds weird)

(when it comes to characters that don’t have official heights, i like to headcanon them some, for nearly all of the female operators, they’re tall because i said so, i love tall women)

i think nova’s actress is very pretty. i, too, love flying. it was meant to be, no? please, nova, i’m on my knees. i literally have no words to describe the way i feel about this woman 😶.

(a lot of people don’t like her voice, but i don’t have anything negative to say, really. maybe i’m too blinded by love 🤷‍♀️) (that was embarrassing to say)

luna just seems like a really friendly person. she makes me feel safe?? even though she isn’t real?? the voice line, “alright then, i see you!” did it for me. she’s a soldier, she’s tough, but she’s also so amicable it kills me. idk i just love her, man.

(another smart woman, i fucking love smart women. i just wanna be her friend, lmao)

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all in all, i’m a raging lesbian, and the women in this game make me feel things :). also, apologising if there are any grammatical or linguistic errors. <3

uncomfortable || ken ryuguji/reader

summary; a friend overstays his welcome and refuses to take a hint. draken is less patient than you are.

tags; sfw, nice guy friend ™ who cannot take no for an answer, not yet in a relationship with draken though there are mutual feelings

author’s note; is this me coping with something that happened on sunday and wishing i had a ken? absolutely. this is short, not beta’ed and more of a coping piece for me.

Uncomfortable seemed to be far too light of a word to describe your current feeling to the predicament you found yourself in. One you did not even cause yourself.

It was supposed to be a normal day. Meet up with a friend, go out get some food, get some ice cream go home. Why exactly this friend of yours was intertwining his fingers with your own and stroking the back of your hand while refusing to let go was beyond you.

You kept trying to back off but he kept following after your steps, rambling about something you did not care to properly process at the moment, the entire ordeal feeling far too unbearable.

Especially after you had opened up to him earlier; having trusted him enough to do so and leaving yourself vulnerable.

It began to dawn on you that maybe he hadn’t really cared about that. Or anything you had said for that matter. But that wasn’t really your fault was it? You had treated him like any other friend. Hell, he knew how you treated your friends as you had a few in common. The way he had waited to make his move until you felt vulnerable; like a snake getting ready to strike made you feel weirdly vulnerable.

Your hand burned as you tried to politely separate yourself from him but he either did not seem to get the hint or care.

“So what do you think, next week again?”, he asked, far too close to your face for your taste.

“Yeah I really don’t think so buddy”, you half joked, trying to remain firm and stand your ground, “I think you’re messing some stuff up here.”

The vice grip of his hand sure would leave marks and remind you tomorrow. The alarming thought that you had chosen a longer path home through the forest with not a lot of people around was enough to let goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

You could see annoyance flash through his eyes as if he had been entitled to give him the attention he so desperately craved, but before he could answer, his gaze focused on something behind you as he paled, letting go of your hand and taking a few steps back.

The looming shadow behind you should have made you tense up but the broad palm that wrapped comfortingly around your shoulder made you relax instantly. Inwardly, you were thanking any god ever for the existence of Ken Ryūguji.

“And what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”, Ken growled out, an angry expression etching across his face. You could hear his voice rumbling in his chest pressed against the back of your head combined with his pounding heartbeat. Draken was furious. There was no doubt about that.

Suddenly, the guy who you weren’t even sure you wanted to call a friend anymore wasn’t as bold. He cowered in fear of Draken’s scowl as he raised his hands defensively.

You knew if you didn’t do anything, Ken would beat this pitiful excuse of a man up. Not that you wouldn’t welcome it but it was getting hard to breathe and you just wanted to leave the situation. So tentatively, you curled your left palm around Draken’s hand, getting his attention. He understood immediately, leading you back towards the path home, ensuring that he was between the guy and you while you passed him.

Jesus fuck you hated entitled people. Assholes just like him. People who saw you more so as a tool to brighten their own boring life as if you existed solely to feed their fevered imaginations; as if they were some sophisticated broodingly soulful young men who required you to teach them about life and adventure. As if you were barely a person alone and definitely not someone deserving of the same complexity as they thought themselves they had.

“Are you holding up okay?” Ken asked carefully, having finally arrived at his motorcycle. You don’t think you had ever seen him park it so carelessly.

“I- I think so”, you had no idea. Probably not though and your brain was putting up a strong front as you rubbed your burning hand.

Ken stroked your hair for a moment, offering you one of his hands as a distraction while he readied his bike, his fist unfurled, letting you do whatever you wanted.

“Want me to give you a drive home?” Ken suggested, holding out the helmet he carried for you. On it was a hello kitty sticker you had put on there a couple of years ago all worm off.

Home. Bed. A hot shower. That sounded nice. Home. 2 blocks away from that creeps apartment. That thought alone made you shudder as any nice thought evaporated from your body.

“I am going to sleep over at your place”, you decided, closing the clasp of the helmet with one hand as you refused to let go of Ken’s. It gave you a strange sense of comfort.

Ken’s face flushed.

“My place- I mean-“

“Is full of nice ladies with a terribly amazing make up skills I know”, you retorted, swinging behind him onto the motor cycle and wrapping your arms around his waist,”You’re just scared of being teased again by them and boss guy for bringing me home.”

Your astute observation met no denial on Draken’s end as his clammy hands focused on letting the engine roar to life.

This was definitely not something you did with a friend. Only a friend. The teasing the flirting all felt more… personal. More than the other fucker ever had.

The wind rushing against your skin was a welcome distraction as Ken rushed towards the descending sun in the horizon.

TLB short, featuring Angel Dust reader....

The boys were chilling in the cave, mourning your loss......thinking about to good times...When

Paul spoke "remember when-" "SHUT UP, PAUL!" David screamed. "WHAT DID I DO?!" "WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEM" "YOU DON'T BUT I DO, DWAYNE DOES, MARKO DOES!" Marko screamed "I DON'T! JUST......SHUT UP, PAUL!" Paul looked betrayed "Marko...." "just stop Paul!" "Marko......" Dwayne joined in. "It's hard for all of us, but not talking about them.......that's not what they'd-" DON'T FINISH THAT! DON'T YOU DARE PUT THAT ON ME!" Marko covers his ears "its true" "OH, there goes Dwayne asking like the mature one!" David chimed in. "I'm just thinking about they'd want!" "oh and you know?!" "YES DAVID, I DO! Forgetting them doesn't help!" "Don't. you. EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!" "WE CAN'T FORGET HOW MUCH THEY PARTYING WITH PAUL!" Paul looks sad as Dwayne gestures over to him "or bonding over Italian history with Marko...." Marko looks away, not wanting them to see his tears. " or how they...turned me into a chatter box" Dwayne chuckles to himself think about the two them would laugh and talk for hours about......pretty much anything. Books, people at the boardwalk, pranking Paul.......god he misses them....but Dwayne continues "or how-" "NO! DWAYNE" Dwyane groans in frustration before lashing out "SURE DAVID FORGET THEM LIKE YOU DO EVERYTHING! I KNOW YOU'E USED TO PEOPLE DYING AROUND YOU BUT DON'T TREAT THEM LIKE.....ANOTHER MEMBER OF YOUR DEAD FAMILY!!!" Paul and Marko gasped and Dwayne internally cursed himself, as David would bring hellfire upon him. But on the outside he stood strong......somewhat...David stood up and spoke to him a tone that always sent shivers down everybody's spines......slow....menacing...and yet... thinking of every possible way to tear him apart...."What...........did.......you.....just........say.....to...me?!" Dwyane gulped but his fear was clouded by frustration.....he was tired of David pushing things under the rug...........treating them as they didn't matter.......hated it so much but.....they-no.....Y/N.....was the last. fucking. straw....."You're not forgetting them.....Y/N....AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME BECAUSE YOU NEED TO REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE YOU LAUGH, HOW THEY BROUGHT THE OLD YOU OUT....HOW THEY-" Dwyane was cut off by David punching him into a wall. David spoke again in the same calm bone-chilling tone. "Enough with the big talk. I'm going to enjoy...." Dwyane looked back at David his face almost covered in shadows. The only thing visible on his face was his eyes, his glowing red eyes piercing his soul "tearing you apart". But Dwayne stumbles forward, his eyes glowing and fists raised "FUCK. YOU. DAVID!" Paul and Marko looked at each other, knowing better than to intervene....but they wanted to help Dwyane, knowing he was right. Dwayne and David's fight was......brutal....claws and teeth....and Dwyane put up a good fight, but......David had the upper hand......... as always.........and just as David was about to make Dwayne history, Paul tackles David to the ground as Marko helps Dwayne up. David throws Paul off of him, screaming "ALL OF YOU ARE TRATORS! I GAVE YOU ALL ETERNAL LIFE AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! I'LL TEACH YOU, I'LL TEAR YOU ALL APART AND SHOW YOU TRUE HELL!" Dwayne, Marko ad Paul look at each other, worried. But stand strong and say, before the fight of their lives, "Y/N will not be a memory!" and with that the boys start fighting and just like David and Dwayne's fight, its brutal and the boys are just about to kill each other- " HELLO?!" The boys freeze......could it be.....no....they.....died....they stay as still as statues. Then they see it, an 8 foot tall spider with.....so many features....but it has.....their voice...."Boys? You here-WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" Y/N looks at themself before saying "Ok! I know this is.....weird...but let me explain!"

End.................

This was bad! I'm sorry!

If you would allow me to talk about dumb shit:

Hyaline.exe, as a ship, kinda shows off things... I'm not sure what but I feel like I'm onto something. Please note each bit is completely unrelated

First: the disbelief phrases.

Writer above.

The writer is the god above gods. And in a culture where gods walk among men, he obviously ends up being the closest thing to a capital G God. He is the WRITER the god ABOVE gods. There is a linguistic evolution of them shortening it.

Meanwhile, from what I can tell, peaks.... Is just a place. It's probably important, but... It's replacing god. How important can a mountain be? This is a genuine question please help me make my mini essays this little bit easier.

Second: the two idiots scenes together

The easiest one.

The ghost wrote his experiences into thinly veiled fanfic. You could read him like a book (Literally)

Meanwhile, hyaline basically tells nothing, other than who they hate, and who they don't.

And, of course, the most important scenes, the kisses, and the "I love you"s.

The ghost has been, possibly, my most changed character who still stays in their own logic. His redemption was never planned. I just thought it would be funny, and now he is genuinely one of my nicest characters. This is not a joke. He wears his heart on his sleeves around those he trusts. And he trusts hyaline WITH HIS LIFE.

Him leaving his pocket dimension for anything could spell years of agony for him, followed by Being un-existed. Yet he left repeatedly to go hang out with... Well, let's be frank, a mean weirdo loser who everyone hates.

And that's who he is risking his literal existence on.

Because he sees something.

Someone who has made the same mistakes as him.

But hyaline stood up for him too. When the ghosts of the past (or, let's be frank, the shittiest co-worker imaginable) came knocking, they were also ready to risk life and limb just to help him. If they know it or not is up to you.

And three: they both really need therapy

Oughhhhh I love your thoughts btw— and here’s a little Evershock lore rundown to explain the Peaks thing!!

Evershock (the game Hyaline and Hyper are from) is centered around three heroes who all fit the criteria to a prophesy to save the world. Basically,, waaay in the past, a bunch of wizards and sorcerers created the Great Peaks (physically, it’s literally just a mountain range) to purify the evil monsters into beasts docile enough to benifit the world. (Basically, they invented animals by making a magic mountain) Well,,, the wizards prophesied that the mountains wouldn’t always work and a hero would wield the sacred weapon, the Evershock, and save the world forever. One day, the largest of the Great Peaks cracks in half and the spell is undone, spurring the prophecy.

The Peaks are effectively god: a higher power that protects and gives. Saying “Great Cracked Peaks” is like saying “Jesus fucking Christ” etc etc. Hyaline says it more than Hyper does because Hyper has been exposed to the internet.

And the thing about Hyaline only saying who it hates and who it doesn’t— VERY intentional. Hyaline is a textureless faceless shadow of Hyper, and sees itself as such. Hyaline doesn’t think it’s anything more than it’s hatred for Hyper, and so Hyaline’s opinions on people become the only thing it thinks it is. Hyaline wants to make Hyper pay for what he did to it, and wants to do it without help.

And BRO. Hyaline would ABSOLUTELY endure torture specifically to piss off someone who tried to boss it around— even more willing for Apples.exe. Because ‘he’s different’— I said that was just gayness but it’s really true because no one treats Hyaline the way Apples.exe does, and Hyaline notices it even if it can’t fathom why. (Everyone hating on it is totally deserved btw— hyaline is a jackass) Also let me just paraphrase the “[[ I don’t feel anything. I wonder if I’d prefer constant pain…]]” line here cause uh- yeah.

And yeah. Get these mother fuckers a therapy session. Like, yesterday.

There are theories that Mor and Azriel are mates, but since she prefers females nothing ever happened (because of how protective he gets, for example when he choked Eris) and that Elain & Azriel have mates, however, end up choosing each other./forbidden romance. What do you think of this theory? I like Elain, but I don’t want her with Az. I prefer Elucien (I feel like since Elain is a seer, gifted with sight, her powers are connected with Lucien since his dad is Helion, who SJM based on Greek god Helion, who is the god of sight) and I just don’t like the three sisters for three brothers. It feels to predictable. I kind of feel like Azriel is someone who self sabotages. He crushes on Mor for 500 knowing he can’t have her and I’m sure his shadows can pick up on feelings and emotions, so wouldn’t he be able to sense that Mor genuinely wasn’t interested in him romantically? I like Azriel and Gwyn, but some people think she might be evil since his shadows play with her. People bring up that his shadows hide from Elain and they do with Mor as well, so they’re meant to be together. I really want Elain and Lucien together. I just don’t like the idea of Elriel. What do you personally think? Do you think Azriel purposely self sabotages/goes after ladies he knows he can’t or won’t be able to have? I’m sorry if I cause any trouble, I don’t mean to!💜

you didn't cause any trouble, and I'm not afraid to say with my whole fucking chest that I HATE ELRIEL. everyone is entitled to their own choices and ships and whatnot but there's not one single az/elain idea or theory or trope that could make me like it.

breakdown below the cut because the elriel stans out there don't deserve to have their day ruined by my lil opinion lol. however, don't open it if you're curious but stan elriel because it'll just make you mad.

I like elain with lucien, I think they'd be perfect for one another. elain has always been caged and babied by her sisters for being a soft girl, she needs some freedom. she's proven she's not some breakable little object, she deserves to have a life of her own. she deserves to be free from that cage and to see the world. lucien can take her to do that, he's a courtier, he has friends all over and would be such a good guide. lucien deserves some light in his life, he's spent his whole life stuck and fighting, he and elain could just be happy together.

az and gywn is okay. if it was between gywn and elain, my obvious choice is gwyn. solidly, I am still waiting for a love interest for him other than eris that actually viable and matches him so perfectly.

anyways.

elriel makes me sick for numerous reasons. first of all, it's toxic. that whole "the girl who never got to choose and the boy who never got picked" thing. ew. ew ew ew. azriel would spend his entire life then feeling like he was constantly having to keep on proving he was good enough to be picked, and he's already fragile enough like that as it is. elain would end up feeling stuck, like she just chose the first person who as there, and they'd end up hating one another anyway.

also, azriel treats every other woman like a strong, powerful warrior. he treats elain like she needs sheltering and protection. he canon does this, all the way through ACOSF. he treats her like a child. let's just leave that there.

next, as you said, his shadows hide from her. a part of himself, the darkness he used to survive won't go near her. how could he bear any part of his soul to her when the most obvious part won't even be shown? he'd never be able to truly be himself. gwyn has her own troubles, her own trauma, and they'd heal together.

also, three sisters for three brothers is sickening. the elriel ship makes azriel into some toxic man who feels like he's entitled to women? if they got together based on that philosophy it would quite literally undo every single part of his character development. attacking for mor's honour? "be careful how you speak about my high lady"? "you just passed the blood rite qualifier"? all that peak feminism undone because suddenly azriel feels like he's owed some pussy. no fucking way.

lastly, if elain didn't end up with lucien, what's the fucking point of the mating bond being there anyway? it's served NO plot point so far unless they end up being mates. the whole "maybe the cauldron made a mistake" thing could have happened without it. az could have just been "maybe the bond just hasn't snapped yet". like? if they don't end up together, it's just a useless plot thread? sarah don't do that to us.

now, onto this whole mor and az thing. personally, I don't see it. I can understand where that has come from, but I don't see it. I just don't think they're at all equal or alike, and considering the other mating pairs and their similarities, it wouldn't make sense. basically, I just don't think so. I think he just hyper fixated because deep down he knows he can never have her and always goes for unattainable love because he's always felt like love was just outside of his reach. he's always wanted it and never had it (childhood trauma, not cass and rhys), and so he's permanently looking for where he can't have love, not where he can.

so, yeah, that's my breakdown, lol.

Salem! - mylittlerwde

ask meme

Long Post Ahead

SALEM

What are my top four favorite non-romantic relationship dynamics for them? - She and Tyrian got me in a grip, bro. They are so Bloodborne-coded, you have no idea. I also like the one she has with Watts, as little as we have, because he doesn't actually worship her, she's just a matron for his goals and she likes the developments he brings, a good evil partnership (even though she's still very much in charge). I also like the antagonistic relationship she has with Ruby, and how she taunts the poor thing about Summer. It was good, despite all of the flaws. Finally, I fuck with her and the Hound tremendously. God, what a fucking nightmare it was lmao, with how she just treats it better than her lackeys, almost motherly, until you realized that there is a person in there, there is a Silver Eyed Warrior that she captured, tormented, and disfigured in that Grimm. Man, when the horror hits like this, I almost forgot I hate the way CRWBY writes lol.

What season were they at their best and why? - O O F. I seriously cannot pick one, because wow the good moments she has just fucking comes and go without any consistency huh. Well, if I have to choose based on overall enjoyment? Probably 7 or 8, because they actually let her go full-on horror monster, and boy do we need that.

What season were they at their worst and why? - Uhhhhh, I would say...6? Because the way they wrote her backstory and how it went was wack. I love the evil bitches from the start, I do, and I was one of the people who never saw Salem as a good person even before she turned Grimm. But the narrative of Lost Fables was lame, and her complexity was nonexistent because "noooo my man died wahhh :((((" and I...I wish that by itself extended into more? Like, she was sad that what she thought was hers was taken from her, and that spiraled into a need to control the world instead of just like, destroy it for a man that she still murdered when he rightfully gtfo, I guess. Her character trope and the way it all went down are ideas that have been executed better, look no further than the character Father from Fullmetal Alchemist.

How would I rank their outfits from worst to best? - Well, seeing as how both of her outfits just reeks of Orientalism and sexism, both of them belong in the fucking trash. But if I have to rank them, the OG comes first, then her "war" outfit because....what was even there, bestie?

I'm not doing anything H*rry P*tter related, so this ain't gonna be a thing at all.

What do I think this character would be like if they were on the opposite side (good characters are bad, bad characters are good - Huh...Now that's an interesting thought. I thought she would be like Ozpin at first, but then I was leaning more towards her being a hermit trainer who watches over the world in the shadows instead of being a Headmaster, while the Headmasters themselves are either her close friends or studied under her before going into their Huntsman career. I can also see her having her own Huntsman training sect where her students have a unique style of Grimm hunting and Dust utilization due to her being a magician, but upon descending into the world they must never find her again (Baoshan Sanren from Mo Dao Zu Shi is a good example of this trope). A really low-key person.

If I suddenly had control of RWBY, what would I want to do with this character after the events of V8? - First of all, erase Vol 9-. In all seriousness? I would have her kickstart that world domination already, and keep up that level of high stake for the characters to actually deal with. Salem has become a high-level threat, and that would've made the tension not just between the main cast, but them against the world because of their actions, be more interesting. And obviously, have her just fucking blow Cinder apart already. That bitches literally did shit for you but steal the work other lackeys did for you, Salem, just kill her.