#not to mention the fact that his trauma is often treated as teen angst for some fucking reason ???
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"shadows a teen! haha, teen angst edgelord" shadow was literally drinking at a bar with rouge in sonic x
#shadow#shadow the hedgehog#sth#it wouldnt bother me so bad if ppl just simply headcanoned him at a young age#and it wasnt a hugely popular fanon that it was treated and SPREAD like it was fact#when hes literally CANONICALLY ageless and immortal#im just sooooo tired of the teen shadow hesdcanon#not to mention the fact that his trauma is often treated as teen angst for some fucking reason ???#when he witnessed his sister get murdered right in front of him#and proceeded to have his memories altered then be horribly manipulated and had amnesia ?????#god i fucking HATE how people see and treat shadow#its always grumpy old grandpa shadow or angtsy emo teen shadow 🙄#he is not physically or mentally 15 he is not physically or mentally 50. jfc#and it drives me up a wall when ppl use his headcanoned age as a ''''reason'''' why its bad to ship him with rouge#i deserve 100 dollars every time someone spouts this bullshit
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heya! can I request how Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude, and Yuri would court their crush? headcannons and fluff please :") also if there a character limit? (if you can't do Yuri, please replace him with Ashe) ty in advance </3
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thank you for requesting! i had a lot of fun writing this ask and sorry if this took a little longer than expected ;; nevertheless, i hope you enjoyed this, jelly filled donut anon!
>genre: fluff with some angst if you squint (mostly for dimitri and edelgard's part)
>warnings: slight mentions of fighting, slight spoilers for the events of fire emblem three houses, some angst
>pairings: dimitri x reader (gn), edelgard x reader (gn), claude x reader (gn), yuri x reader (gn)
Dimitri
Hh he's the loml
I feel like he would only start to court anyone after the five-year timeskip due to the guilt of the tragedy Duscur and the pent up emotions he’s kept bottled up. The fact that he hasn’t overcome his trauma would probably give him the need to distance himself from the one he has feelings with <\\3
Of course, no one’s able to resist the pull of love and despite his irrational thoughts that tell him to distance himself from you, the thoughts that tell him to stay with you were stronger, the feeling that you give him was like a breath of fresh air in the suffocating miasma of his guilt and trauma which gave him the strength to carry on.
But once the war is finally over and he’s sorted out his feelings for you, the first thing he would do is to see you; to finally let you know how he feels...and maybe even propose you to stay by his side forever--
As for courting you, after so many years of killing and brutal murder, I think that Dimitri would be quite awkward in expressing his feelings for you, after having bottled them up for so long.
He would get flustered easily from the little things you do or say to him but still deliver the smoothest compliments as if it was second nature. Just like he always has in the academy, if not, smoother.
If you were to bring this up to him, he would try to deny it with a flushed face, causing him to be hyper-aware of the little things that he used to say with a nonchalant attitude from then on...how adorable
Dimitri is probably not the most romantic man with having basically no experience with relationships and all and would resort to consulting, albeit after much pestering, Sylvain for relationship advice.
It was quite cute though, seeing this grown man trying to be romantic but failing, looking like a teen with his first crush. Although, that may not be far from the truth.
Of course, after failing to pull off any of the ridiculous date ideas Sylvain proposed to him for the umpteenth time, Dimitri decided to do things his own way, even if it meant stumbling around like a newborn deer.
Dimitri’s idea of a romantic date is probably a bit odd...after all, this is coming from the same man who thought that a dagger is a great parting gift. He would take you to shop around for things you might like, wanting to show you that he would grant you anything you desired. And...while he’s at it, he might buy you a weapon of your liking--
After shopping, he’d treat you to a meal while you’re at it. Although he may not care for the flavours of food, seeing you eat your favorite foods with a delighted expression is enough to make the food that much more appetizing.
Being a king, Dimitri would most likely be very busy, filling up paperwork and all and so going out often isn’t something he could afford to do. In order to make up for that, the free time that he does get is all spent with you. Even for a little while, being with you does take away some of the stress that comes with the amount of responsibility on his shoulders.
Whether it be sharing a cup of tea or simply enjoying yourselves in each other’s company, Dimitri is satisfied to spend any time with you
Edelgard
Similar to Dimitri, I feel like Edelgard wouldn’t want to think about feelings of love so soon as long as she hasn’t fulfilled her mission since she wouldn’t want to let her emotions to obstruct her conquest at all, as baseless as those worries might be
However, this doesn’t mean that she would be able to control these feelings of hers with perfect success. After all, try as she might, she’s still a human
Even though she can deny her feelings for you, she can’t deny the comfort your company gives her
Having tea together or even just spending any amount of time with you gives her the break she needs from her burdens she’s imposed upon herself and in times like these, it reminds her of the people she wants to be stronger to protect
Conversations with her mostly consist of her plans and motivations for her cause but outside of that, she also enjoys being able to indulge herself in some much needed rest and she feels like she could share anything with you.
Well, perhaps not her family history but she finds herself revealing the sides that she hid from the public.
Occasionally, she would vent out her feelings of frustration to you, perhaps impersonating and imitating the words of the person who had irritated her
Even if it’s for a little while, she finds herself being able to act like a child or to let loose without fear of being judged around you and it reminds her that she’s not alone in this conquest of hers. And that fact alone comforts her. If you’re by her side, even the rockiest of roads seem like a cake walk as long as you’re here for her.
After the war, she would subtly propose a future with the two of you where you and her could pave the way for the new future of the empire. And when you don’t get what she’s hinting at, she would just throw whatever inhibitions she had out of the window and just tell you in a more direct fashion
Although she fears rejection, she’d rather say out her feelings than to keep it trapped for any longer.
As the emperor, Edelgard is very busy. Despite this, for some reason, she finds herself sneaking away from Hubert’s unrelenting supervision from time to time just to spend time with you.
She finds herself giving the pettiest excuses to go on a date with you whenever her tight schedule has even the tiniest opening.
To her, spending time with you reminds her that she is not only Edelgard Von Hresvelg, the Emperor but El.
However, on occasions where she is unable to slip away from her aide’s watchful eye or whenever she has to go on a trip where she will be away from you for long periods of time, as soon as she is freed from her duties, she will immediately come see you, hopefully plan a vacation together away from all her responsibilities, even for a little while.
Speaking of vacations, this will be a regular occurrence between the two of you. Such vacations range from going out of the empire for some sightseeing to a simple staycation, relishing in each other’s company.
Claude
Unlike the previous two, I feel like Claude, although not necessarily looking for a relationship before the timeskip, he wouldn’t be too opposed to the idea if he falls in love.
But maybe if it's before the timeskip, the relationship between the two of you would be more casual than anything, just enjoying the moment rather than looking into the future. Of course, he would like to spend the rest of his days with you but it's more of a matter of whether that could be possible or not due to the uncertainty of the future.
Dates before the timeskip would consist of fun little lunch dates in the cafeteria, hanging out to the library afterwards.
Most of your dates together were spontaneous, Claude being the one to initiate it first.
Like you two could be chilling, minding your own business, being content in each others’ presence one minute and pranking the entirety of the monastery in another.
Every time the two of you got together, everyone started to go on full alert mode, fully expecting an explosion somewhere or something along the lines of that. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time…
After the timeskip, dates with him don’t really change much...on the surface. In reality, Claude puts more effort into each date, not that he hadn’t before.
It’s just that now, the more time he spends with you, the more certain he is that he wants you to stay by his side, forever.
These dates were comparatively tame as compared to before the timeskip, with him being more mature and responsible now, not wanting to take unnecessary risks now that he’s seen many of his followers come and go, he wouldn’t want you to be like them.
Expect calm candlelit dinners for most of the dates since he tries to reserve the evening for you, maybe going on a stroll around the kingdom, checking up on the state of his citizens with you.
Right, speaking of dinners, during dinner, he would tell the most interesting stories of times when he left the kingdom for important matters and you weren’t able to come along, often bringing home a trinket of sorts which reminded him of you.
I feel like on these trips, he would just pick up random stuff that caught his eye and thought you’d might like, looking forward to seeing your expression upon receiving his gift to you. He gets a little too excited sometimes and goes...overboard, buying WAY too much. On the bright side, now that you got him all fired up, he’ll do his best to rush home to you.
As much as possible, he invites you to go with him to the many many festivals in the kingdom just so that you wouldn’t get bored with just eating out with him. (not that you ever would) and plus, he enjoys seeing the different stalls and booths set up with you.
Yuri
Yuri is quite hard to get close to since he’s the leader of the underworld and all. And even if you do, he puts up a ridiculously high wall when he feels as if you take an interest in him in something other than a friend.
All these years of distrust had given him no choice but to surround himself with various walls. And should you try to break down these walls, he would panic and distance himself from you, anything to make you realise that he shouldn’t be the one to receive your affection. Classic romance novel moment
Of course, you persist and stay there for him anyway, maybe only just pushing it but not to the point where it gets uncomfortable for him. After the years, going through tough situations with you by his side especially when he needed it the most, without realising it, he had a spot for you on his previously cold heart. Maybe it had always been there, maybe not, he didn’t really know anymore.
When you two finally go out together, it comes out as something that was going to happen anyway to the other members of the Ashen Rats Wolves who, don’t even bother to act surprised, come on, even Constance saw it coming, Yuri, you didn’t fool anybody.
Dates with Yuri are always new and exciting, going out on undercover missions together, travelling across Fódlan. Yuri tries to discourage you from coming along because of the danger of each one of his missions but the more he refuses, the more you insist so after a while, he gets the hint that he won’t be able to stop you and eventually just invites you whenever he has to go on long missions without having you finding out about it on your own.
As much as he cares about each and every single one of his subjects in the underworld, being the lord of the underground isn’t exactly the most relaxing or safest job out there and sometimes he just needs a break from all that. Luckily, you’re there to give him some peace of mind. Just by having you by his side, he feels as if he’s transported into another world, a reverie away from all the dangers of his job. Even a protector needs someone to protect him, you know? And he trusts you. He trusts that you would always be there to protect him. Since you were there for him through thick and thin all this time.
You both got each other’s backs
(i wrote WAY too much for Yuri since man i had a wild Yuri phase and i still do and i am just RELIVING IT as i write this)
#fe3h dimitri#fe3h yuri#fe3h claude#fe3h edelgard#fe3h headcanons#fe3h x reader#Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd x reader#edelgard von hresvelg x reader#claude von riegan x reader#yuri leclerc x reader
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Going Angst Week 2021: Family/Friends
Read: [1: Birth] [2: Instinct]
Continuation of the No One Knows AU plotline.
---
Everything had changed since the accident. The biological differences were obvious. He glowed, his hair inverted, his eyes turned green, he had ectoplasm running through his veins, he was cold, he didn’t need to breathe as much in human form—the list went on.
But the psychological ones were easily more terrifying.
And nothing scared him more than the way his friends and family were treating him as of late.
He knew that deep down he would never be able to match the way he acted when he was fully human. But that didn’t mean that his heart didn’t skip a beat every time someone shot him a worried glance, every time someone asked if he was alright, every time he caught himself doing something wrong.
He wasn’t human anymore. He wasn’t even sure what he was now, and Vlad seemed to have too much fun emotionally torturing him to give him a straight answer.
“You up for a movie tonight?” Tucker asked, leaning across Danny’s desk.
“Hell yeah,” Sam said. “My house?”
“Oh, you know me too well. What do you think, dude?”
Danny realized that both teens were looking to him for an answer.
He wanted to stay home. Hanging out with either of them meant there was a chance they would see him slip up, and he couldn’t have that.
“Sure.” He hoped his voice didn’t sound too pained.
“Perfect!” Tucker clasped a hand down on his shoulder.
Danny tried not to duck away.
“So we’ll go to Sam’s after dinner. I can bring snacks. Anything you want in particular?”
The thought of eating anything was nauseating. “No. I’m fine.”
“Alright, I’ll just bring the usual then.”
But Danny should have known that something was up. After all, it had been a while since they’d done a movie night. And lately, Sam and Tucker had been acting...oddly.
Well, that was nothing new. Danny thought that as time went on, they’d forgive him for being a bit jumpier than usual and everything would go back to normal.
Except, of course, it didn’t.
The past few weeks had been especially hard. It seemed like they constantly had something to say, but never did. The worried glances had only increased, and the silent conversations seemed to only grow.
Danny had been trying his best to act normal, act human, but it seemed like the more he tried, the worse they’d get.
So of course, in between the first movie and second, the elephant in the room finally stomped all over Danny’s metaphorical floor.
“Hey, Danny.” Sam glanced over at Tucker. A moment passed between the two before Sam nodded and turned back to Danny. “We really need to talk to you.”
Dread pooled in his stomach. He knew exactly where this was going. “I can start the next movie if you want?”
“No, Danny. Listen, can you just sit down for a second?”
His ghostly instincts were begging him to run, but his human side forced him to sit down.
“Listen, we know that...well, Jazz told us about the lab accident.”
Danny could have sworn his heart stopped beating.
“She said it was pretty serious? And she was surprised that you hadn’t told us?” Sam fidgeted with her black rings. “We didn’t say anything to you because we wanted you to be the ones to confide in us.”
“That and we didn’t want you to get upset that we were talking to Jazz about you,” Tucker interjected.
“Right, and Jazz only told us because she was worried. And honestly? We’re really worried too.”
Any oxygen left in Danny’s body was sucked out of his throat like a vacuum.
They’d found out. They knew the truth, they knew he was a freak of nature half ghost and they were going to out him, they were going to tell his parents, they’d tell the school counselor, and Danny would have no one and he’d have to run away to become Vlad’s apprentice and he’d change, he’d be corrupted, he wouldn’t make it out alive.
“I’m just wondering why you didn’t say anything?” Sam asked, her violent eyes brimming with concern.
“I…” Danny’s mouth felt like it was lined with cotton. He tried to swallow, but it was like swallowing sand. “I didn’t want you to worry is all.”
“Yeah, and we get that,” Tucker said carefully. “But, I mean, we’re your best friends. And dude, you’ve been...well…”
At Tucker’s helpless glance, Sam took over. “You just have been acting really off lately.”
“Sorry.”
“No!” Sam nearly leapt out of her seat. “Danny, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. I mean, hell, if I nearly died in a lab accident I’d be acting off too. It just, you know, it explains a lot. It must have been really terrifying.”
Danny didn’t trust himself to say anything.
How much of his personality had shifted because of Phantom, and how much had shifted because of the accident? Were his ghostly instincts really creeping up that much into his human form?
Would he ever be the same again?
Did they know?
“Is there anything you wanna talk about?”
“We’re all ears, dude.”
He had so many questions he wanted to ask, but he couldn’t say a word. Not without outing himself as Phantom, and that was bound to backfire on him in the worst way possible.
Oh god, he was acting too suspicious. He needed to save this.
“I’m good.”
There was a beat of silence.
Sam leaned forward. “Danny...I don’t mean to sound like Jazz, but bottling stuff up isn’t—”
“I’m fine!” Danny snapped. “I didn’t say anything and I’m sorry, but you know it’s not every day like you’re nearly electrocuted to death in your parents’ ghost portal.”
“Is that what happened?” Sam’s eyes grew wide. “Oh my god, Danny.”
“Holy shit,” Tucker agreed.
Danny threw his arms out. “Ta da! I survived, I’m fine. Nothing to talk about.”
“Danny, I—”
“No.” His tone was final. “Drop it, seriously.”
Another beat of silence passed, and then Sam finally sighed. “Fine, but I’m telling you as your friend that if you ever need anything, we’re here for you.”
He wished he could have trusted those words. But he knew they were nothing more than a farce.
It would have been cruel to hold onto false hope.
Still, he tried to smile. “Thanks.”
Even though he knew he hadn’t fooled anyone.
---
Maddie’s POV
Maddie watched her son from across the kitchen table, just as she’d done every night for the past several weeks. Quietly, as inconspicuous as possible, always watching.
Ever since the lab accident, he’d been….different. Jack hadn’t noticed, but to Maddie the changes were far too obvious. The dropped spoons, the flash of green behind his eyes, his limbs losing visibility without him even noticing, their ecto-inventions that always seemed to go off around him.
One day, she even saw him walk through his bedroom door.
At first, she thought it was just a simple case of possession. But there were telltale signs of possession, one’s that Jack, for all his enthusiasm, always failed to take into account.
Sure, Danny’s eyes flashed green every so often, but most of the time they were blue. Human blue.
And then there was his personality. In cases of possession, the ghost would be completely controlling the body. But in Danny’s case, he was still very obviously Danny. Still the sweet boy she always knew him to be, but he was just...different. Jumpier. Scared.
Like he knew he was living a lie.
And then, just a few weeks after Danny’s run in with the portal, a new ghost appeared.
Of course, Maddie didn’t make the connection at first. The ghost was obviously new, and didn’t seem to have a grasp on its powers. Its fighting was laughable, its ectoblasts nearly always missed, and it seemed to constantly forget about its core powers.
Not to mention, its hair was white. Danny had black hair.
But then the ghost gave itself a name: Danny Phantom. And that was when Maddie decided to take a second look at it.
It was Danny’s height and build, its voice sounded similar to Danny’s, it seemed to know all of Danny’s classmates, it used a Fenton thermos, it wore a hazmat suit that looked eerily similar to the ones in their basement closet—not to mention that Danny’s hazmat suit had gone missing recently.
On its own, one small correlation didn’t mean anything. But when the little similarities kept piling up, then Maddie had to draw some sort of conclusion.
Just what was the conclusion though?
The Danny across the table had gone to school like any other human child, he’d eaten his meals like anyone else, he’d hung out with his human friends, he talked with his human family. On paper, he seemed normal.
Human.
But his grades were in a downwards spiral, Jazz had expressed concern about him and his friends, he’d been breaking curfew, and there were times when she’d peak into his room at night to find him gone.
He could have been just experiencing trauma from the accident. Maybe he was rebelling. There were so many explanations for his behavior that didn’t involve ghosts.
But then he’d do something ghostly or a weapon would beep around him or Phantom would fly nearby, and her red flags would be raised once again.
Maddie learned long ago to trust her red flags.
The Danny across the table took a bite of his salad, and his face immediately scrunched up.
Maddie felt sick.
He swallowed, and Maddie could see his eyes watering. “Is there something wrong with the lettuce, Mom?”
She feigned innocence. “Hmm?”
“I don’t know,” he prodded a carrot on his plate. “Something just seems off.”
“Tastes fine to me,” Maddie said. “I just bought this lettuce today. Jazz, is yours okay?”
“Yeah,” she said.
Maddie suppressed a grin. She could always count on her “facts and research only” daughter.
“It could be the dressing? I used a new brand tonight. It’s healthier than the other stuff.”
That, or it was the small amount of blood blossoms she’d blended into the vinaigrette.
“Maybe.”
But it couldn’t end here. She needed to know. She was a scientist, she had to see the experiment through.
“Eat the rest of your salad, honey. I’ll buy the other brand tomorrow, okay?”
Danny carefully put another forkful of salad into his mouth. He gave a small wince, but swallowed.
“Good boy,” she said. “I have fudge in the fridge for when you’re done.”
“Oh, fudge?” Jack exclaimed. He shoveled the rest of his salad into his mouth. With a mouth full of food, he said, “Thanks, Mads! You’re the best!”
“You’re welcome sweetie!”
Jazz made a face. “Gross, Dad.”
Jack laughed and bantered back at his daughter, but Maddie had already tuned out of the conversation. Her only focus was on Danny, whose face was now just too flushed to be healthy. Still, he forced himself to eat.
There was just no question. No doubt about it.
No matter how Maddie looked at it, this was proof enough.
Danny Fenton wasn’t human. The portal hadn’t nearly killed him, it probably did kill him. And now here he was, pretending to still be a part of the family while using Phantom to distract them from the fact that he was a ghost.
It was a truly elaborate ploy. And if Maddie was anyone else, his plans probably would have worked.
But she was Maddie Fenton. She had a PhD in ectobiology. She’d been researching ghosts for twenty years.
Dinner ended, and the children went upstairs to do homework. Although, if Maddie looked, she was sure Danny wouldn’t actually be in his room. And if she went outside, like she’d done in nights past, there was no doubt she’d see Phantom soaring through the skies.
But she knew. She knew. She knew.
She slipped a white business card out of her jacket pocket, grabbed her cell off the counter, went into her bedroom, and dialed the number.
It rang once, then twice, then stopped. A deep voice sounded from the other line. “Maddie Fenton? I figured I’d be hearing back from you. Have you made your decision?”
“Yes.” Her voice was mechanical, as if she’d only called about a malfunctioning weapon. “I have. I agree to the partnership.”
“Excellent. And the terms are to your liking?”
“Yes.”
“Understood. We’ll be in touch tomorrow to sign the official contract. Will your husband be involved in this, or are you working alone?”
Maddie closed her eyes. “The contract will be for my name only.”
“All right, then. We’ll talk tomorrow. You won’t regret this.”
“I know.”
---
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I’m almost more bothered by fics that don’t take an actively antagonistic stance towards Dick’s character, because what’s so often viewed as a GOOD storyline for Dick in fanfics is just like.....100% connected to my issues with fanon.
What I mean is this:
So many Batfam fics, even when they think they’re being kind or generous to Dick’s character, treat any relationship Dick develops or demonstrates with Jason in-story as Dick’s redemption arc, for being a shitty brother/person before a certain point.
And then on top of that, a ton of fics that include all the way through Damian by their starting point, then proceed to use any relationship (or attempt at one) between Dick and Tim.....as Dick’s redemption arc, for being a shitty brother/person to Tim at the Robin-Red Robin transition.
And then on top of THAT, you have the Batfam fics that focus on post-Spyral interactions with his family as....Dick’s redemption arc for being a shitty brother/person there, and during the Ric Grayson era we had ‘fix-it fic’ after fic whose idea of fixing it was picking things up at some point after Dick got his memories back and then proceeding to write Dick’s redemption arc for Ric being a shitty brother/person there. And even going all the way back to Bruce and Dick’s era of estrangement before Tim came along, there’s still absurdly so many fics over the years dedicated to....Dick redeeming himself in other characters’ eyes for that chasm with absolutely no effort in the same fics shown towards having Bruce work towards any kind of remption for his own behavior.
Historically speaking, the vast majority of fics tagged as Dick Grayson, stretching back years and still very much present now as well, are almost predominantly ALL somehow some kind of redemption arc for Dick.....
Specifically in regards to events and dynamics which have absolutely no basis (or at most an extremely skewed and one-sided one) in the source material.
In fact, in the majority of most of the situations Dick’s being ‘redeemed’ for in fanfics, he either did the complete OPPOSITE of what he’s being punished/forced to make up for in fics, such as how his efforts in reaching out to Jason despite his own understandable bitterness stands in direct contradiction of the years of neglect and bitterness towards Jason that fics posit and theorize existed purely so that he has something TO redeem himself for in fics.....
Or then other times in the source material, he’s the literal actual victim of the things that he’s not only being held solely accountable and in need of redemption for in fics, like when he was beaten into going undercover for the sake of his family.....and then has to redeem himself for that in his family’s eyes......or when he was alienated, neglected and gaslit by his family while amnesiac.....and then has to redeem himself for that in his family’s eyes.....
And even in the cases where its SAID within a fic’s narrative (or more accurately, usually its said in the comments sections of fics as fic authors respond to people being disgusted with Dick by saying ‘no don’t be too hard on him’ and offering up justifications for Dick’s actual actions and understanding for his POV that for some reason never make it into the actual text of fics), like, even then, at most these fics TELL us that the flaws of Dick’s that they’re focusing on are understandable and its just human of him to be resentful of Jason as Robin, or overwhelmed and grief-stricken when he made Damian Robin at Tim’s expense, or traumatized and not thinking clearly when he ‘agreed’ to go undercover at Spyral.....
But meanwhile, what the fics actually SHOW us, beyond a few half-hearted defenses of Dick that usually are not at all substantiated by any other characters.....is Dick remorsefully doing the work of making up for the things he did so terribly, terribly wrong and that there’s actually no excuse for.
With this showing being a lot more evident and focused-upon than we ever see fics show Jason working towards earning Tim’s forgiveness and trust for almost killing him, or Damian doing the same, fics just skip past these things entirely to say ‘oh they’re better now’ but like....with Dick....its like the only storyline a ton of writers have any interest in writing for Dick....
Is a redemption arc.
Actively focusing on and SHOWING Dick putting in the work of being apologetic, remorseful, self-loathing, and absolutely committed to doing better by his siblings even if they never actually forgive him - with whether or not he can eventually ‘earn’ his way to a positive relationship with them far from a given - and any and all of his positive attributes or the positives of his actual relationships with various characters all but completely ignored or glossed over, to keep the focus entirely on Dick learning to do better.....
Than the crimes or slights against his siblings that authors first manufactured or exaggerated or took completely out of context, just to HAVE a reason for Dick to need to do better in the first place.
As I’ve said many times before, anyone is free to do whatever they want with fanfic, its an innately transformative medium, but its always going to be significant and worth attention in my mind, that so much of the transformation from the source material when it comes to Dick Grayson is entirely focused around and committed to transforming him from a hero that everyone loves and respects, a guy that always does his best to go above and beyond for family even when he has understandable reasons not to, and the literal inspiration for almost every second generation hero out there, including his own successors......
Into a guy that most people can’t stand, regard as irrelevant to their own careers let alone anyone worth looking up to, and constantly letting people down, especially his family.
All while there’s little to no attention paid to all the reasons in the source material that other characters most definitely have things they’ve said or done to Dick Grayson that need or deserve redeeming for.
Like the physical violence every single member of his family except Duke has inflicted on him at some point.
Or the victim blaming that’s so ingrained into his storylines and reader receptions of his storylines that even the fics that tackle redeeming Jason, Tim, etc for their behavior towards Dick post-Spyral limit this particular redemption to ‘we’re sorry we treated you badly when we didn’t know all the facts’ instead of ‘we’re sorry we treated you badly, full stop’ and ‘we’re sorry we passed judgment without even TRYING to know what all the facts were’ and ‘we’re sorry we display so little interest in your life or your traumas that even now when we’ve been informed you actually died and had to be forced into pretending to stay dead, we have zero interest in exploring if there’s anything else we might be missing if we could miss out on the whole ‘oh you really DID die’ part in the first place, and forget about us actually owning and apologizing for the specifics of how our behavior towards you was unacceptable even if we HAD been right in our interpretation of events.’
Or when mentions of the slutshaming and victim-blaming he endured during the Tarantula and Mirage storylines are limited to just that....mentions made of offscreen characters like Babs or the Titans.....with pretty much no stories I can think of, existing as ‘redemption arcs’ that tackle those characters actually working to redeem themselves for their behavior and trying to earn back Dick’s broken trust in them. Its usually just Jason and/or others finding out, telling Dick ‘hey your friends shouldn’t have done that either’ and then going off and murdering Mirage and Tarantula, the end, because....that fixes everything?
And forget about Bruce redeeming himself for his behavior - the way he works to put in the effort and fix things in so many ‘Jason returns to the family’ fics - but even when actual mention is made of the things Bruce HAS done wrong to Dick or needs redeeming for, its mostly just waved off as ancient history that he’s remorseful about but there’s no apparent need or effort to focus on Bruce putting that remorseful energy into action and actively on the page trying to bridge the gap he created in SO MANY storylines, again and again and again. ‘Bruce is just like that,’ a lot of stories shrug, about the time Bruce made Dick actually feel unwelcome in his own home and forced him to be the one to leave, unlike the way ‘its unacceptable for Dick to be like this’ energy is applied to stories about Dick forcing Tim to leave Wayne Manor....an action that has to be invented for a story’s purposes, of course, given that in the actual source story, Dick relocated himself and Damian to the penthouse anyway, and Wayne Manor was open and available to Tim and Dick never so much as implied otherwise.
Or look at how the adoption issue so often plays out....with it treated as though Bruce finally adopting Dick in adulthood just ‘fixes’ all the angst before that point, like it just overwrites everything he felt or experienced before and up until that.....with very little fandom energy paid to neither just castigating Bruce for not adopting Dick earlier or acting like adoption is a magic all-better now band-aid, but rather examining that both these things can coexist, and Dick can be happy and relieved and pleased to finally have the adoption he not-so-secretly wanted, even if only in adulthood, but that doesn’t mean the mental and emotional upset of his later teen years when he really, really, really could have used that declaration of being family rather than just a ward....like, there’s room for that to have still taken a toll and be worthy of awareness and regret on Bruce’s part, not for taking so long to adopt Dick, but for the damage Dick felt and suffered through BECAUSE of it.
Its not even about vilifying or punishing Bruce for this, because ironically, like....redemption arcs aren’t actually supposed to be just about punishment or whatever? Its about acknowledging where wrong was done and GETTING what that means for the person who was wronged.....even if it can’t be undone.
People can get this when its Dick being written as having the redemption arc.
So where the hell is this understanding of what actual redemption MEANS, when its Dick that other characters have things to make up for?
The funny, ironic, cognitive dissonant thing about Dick Grayson in fanfics, is the vast majority of his appearances and storylines all somehow come back towards being his redemption arc in some way or form.....
For the made-up or exaggerated fanon crimes applied to him in fic, but that HE’S usually the actual recipient of in canon.
See, its not an obsession with canon that’s the reason for the disconnect between Dick Grayson fans and the takes favored by fans of most other characters.
Its the fact that the transformative energy of fanfiction, in his case, so often is utilized to give HIM reason to tackle the redemption arcs that OTHER characters owe HIM, but that so many of these fans don’t WANT to write their own faves being subjected to.....because they’re fans of these characters as heroes. They have no interest in reading or writing their favorite characters redeeming themselves for actions or behavior they personally don’t view as in character for them.
.....with the cognitive dissonant part in particular, being the way so many of these exact same fans turn around and express shock and bewilderment that Dick’s fans are simlarly uninterested in wanting to read nothing but their favorite character redeeming himself for actions or behavior we personally don’t view as in character for him....because it usually isn’t, according to the original stories BEFORE fanfic transforms him from victim of other beloved characters into victimizer of them instead.
And lol, many of us don’t actually want to see him as victim of other beloved heroes either! We’re in agreement there! Its why we come to fanfic instead of canon in the first place....to find stories where he’s not casually and regularly mistreated by other characters we like. But instead we usually only find stories that take everything people don’t want to see other characters doing to him, and making him do it to others. That’s not an improvement for us, lol! That’s just taking one problem and exchanging it for another.
Flipping the script to make Dick the victimizer instead of other characters only fixes things if the only concern is making sure those characters aren’t seen as victimizers.
The really annoying part is how so many people can be so clear and cognizant of not wanting this for their own faves....yet are surprised, dismissive and disdainful of Dick’s fans....expressing the EXACT SAME FEELINGS.....about our own fave.
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Bubblegum Blood Prologue Pt.3 - The Show Must Go On!
My Stories Masterlist
Word Count: 4756
Summary: Hisoka gets ready for the side shows to be put on by the performance troupe. As he prepares, ghosts and echoes of his past come to haunt him; both threaten to drag him down into the dark depths from which they came.
Warnings: violence, homophobia, homophobic slurs, mental struggle, angst, mentions of death, description of gore, suggestions of past abuse/sexual abuse/non-consensuel, emotional trauma, harsh language
Hisoka
Hisoka watched as his friend hurried by the group of utter human trash. A part of him wished Drake or Jasper would try something as she walked by just so he had an excuse to throw his fork next. When nothing happened he sighed in mild disappointment.
Disposing of those two would be a favor unto the world,~ ♢ Hisoka thought to himself. His heart quickened at the thought of taking care of the matter himself. His trainer’s words on how killing should only be done if there were no other choice replayed in his head; he snickered.
Well, I suppose if no one else is willing to do it, then I have no other choice, now do I?~ ♢
Glancing out the window Hisoka noticed the sun was starting to set. He decided it was best to get ready for the show and rose from his seat, leaving behind his nearly full plate of cold food.
As he started to walk by the fire performers, Jasper quickly stuck his foot out in attempts to trip Hisoka. Having expected the trainee to pull something like this, Hisoka easily stepped over Jasper’s foot, turned, winked, blew a kiss then turned back around and continued at his own casual walking pace towards the stairs. He added a little more sway to his hips than normal just to aggravate them. The overall speed and grace Hisoka applied to the move had nearly made it look like he was doing a little dance step.
He could feel Drake, Jasper, and most likely a couple other people, burning a glare into the back of his head. The sensation caused him to smirk as he ascended the stairs.
The troupe had sleeping arrangements done so everyone shared rooms to help save money; minus Morintonio who had his own private room. Hisoka and Abaki were each assigned to rooms with accommodations to fit eight people; having a bunk bed in each corner and a table with chairs in the center. Hisoka’s roommates consisted of three other trainees and four trained adults.
Upon entering the room he found one trainee and two adults getting ready for the shows. They glanced up at him as he entered, said nothing, and continued getting ready for their own acts. Hisoka smirked a little and went over to his assigned bunk and retrieved his travel bag.
Having been found with nothing more than the ruined clothes on his back, Hisoka had very little when it came to personal possessions. A few changes of clothes courtesy of Magikana and Abaki, some toiletries, a pack of his favorite gum, decks of playing cards, makeup, and a special outfit for when he assisted Magikana in her magic acts.
Throwing the travel bag over his shoulder Hisoka turned and headed to one of the shared bathrooms. Upon entering he closed and locked the door behind himself and tossed his bag atop the bathroom counter next to the sink. He ran his long slim fingers through his soft red raspberry hair, took a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly. Turning his head to look into the mirror, he hesitated.
Hisoka loathed looking into mirrors and avoided them as much as possible; only using them when he needed to put on his performance makeup. He closed his eyes, licked his lips, and felt a strained smile spread across his face.
This is absurd ♠, he thought dismally to himself, she can’t hurt you anymore. Can’t lie to you anymore. She’s dead, dead by your own two hands. He balled both of his hands into tight, white knuckled fists. And the dead can’t hurt anyone! There’s simply no reason to be afraid anymore. ♣
Yet he was. Hisoka was momentarily frozen with not only fear, but disgust and guilt as well. He stood there trembling in silence for several minutes. It was the sounds of the other troupe members getting ready just outside the bathroom door that brought him back around.
Turning his head the rest of the way and fully facing the mirror, Hisoka slowly opened his eyes. His gaze locked with the person that was staring back at him from the reflective surface. A woman with medium-long dark brown hair, fair skin peppered with freckles, a strong jaw, and a pointed nose was staring right back at the young redhead. Hisoka’s facial features closely resembled the woman’s, but the feature that was most strikingly similar were the eyes.
The woman had the exact same eyes as Hisoka. Or rather, Hisoka had the exact same eyes as the woman. The same shade of golden amber that changed in intensity depending on the mood of the bearer. They even had the same lost and lonely feelings buried deep within the warm colors.
One thing about this woman that was difficult to miss was the dried blood splattered over her face and the horrid gash across her throat. The gash ran deep enough one could see her trachea had been split wide open.
“Hello, mother… ♠” Hisoka whispered bitterly. Nothing changed minus a small, sad smile that touched the woman’s lips. He sighed then pinched the bridge of his nose.
“When are you going to stop haunting me, mother? You’ve been dead for nearly half a year after all. ♣.” He took several slow, deep, calming breaths to lower his heart rate and hone in his focus.
Upon opening his eyes, the woman was gone. Hisoka let out a sigh of relief along with a small, strained laugh. When he was under severe stress, he would sometimes find it extremely difficult to be able to focus enough to get his mother to go away. Even though he didn’t believe in ghosts, Hisoka often wondered if her spirit haunted him.
Frowning slightly he studied his own features in the mirror for a moment. After a few minutes he shrugged and smirked to himself. He knew there was something not right with him, something that continuously caused him to see his dead mother every time he looked into a mirror. Regardless of the fact that he held no remorse for his past actions. Well, for the most part, anyway.
“Oh well,~ ♣” he sighed as he unzipped his travel bag, “the show must go on.~ ♢”
Hisoka rummaged around his bag and pulled out his makeup. He also pulled out a piece of strawberry flavored BungeeGum brand bubble gum. He looked at the wrapper for a moment and tilted his head to one side as he stared at the little face on the wrapper. Looking back up at the mirror Hisoka tried to mimic the smile and did an eerily realistic job of it. Such a wide smile on his face came across as somewhat disturbing. He liked it.
He unwrapped the gummy, rubbery treat and popped it into his mouth. The strawberry flavored gum was his favorite. With a small sigh of contentment he straightened out the wrapper and laid it out on the bathroom counter. Hisoka then dove back into his bag and pulled out a pair of charcoal grey velvet lycra leggings. He examined the material carefully, running his fingers over the smooth material as the shades of grey shifted in the light with each movement before setting it down.
Next, he pulled out a light pink satin tunic with closed billowy sleeves and a high collar. Following the tunic was a two button double breasted vest that ended just below his chest and was in a medium shade of pastel yellow. The vest had silvery embroidered designs and the buttons were in the shapes of playing card suits. He smirked a little as he ran his fingers on the spade, club, heart, and diamond buttons in turn.
Playing cards had a huge significance in Hisoka's life; both for better and for worse. So he always seemed to get mixed feelings when he used playing cards and or bore their symbols.
Hisoka changed out of his current set of clothes and put on his performance attire. After tucking in his tunic he looked back at himself in the mirror and smiled. He loved how the colors complimented his hair and eyes. He turned his body this way and that to get a better look at himself then did a full pirouette. The action amused Hisoka and caused him to giggle a little at himself.
He particularly loved how the shirt sleeves moved with every motion of his arms. This was actually meant to draw the eyes of onlookers away from what he was doing as he performed magic tricks. Magikana had told him that the method was called “zee art of misdirection”. Although he had not known what it was called at the time, Hisoka had actually learned a lot about this art from someone else, his mother.
Shortly after he had made a nearly full recovery, Morintonio and Magikana found Hisoka shuffling a deck of playing cards. There had been some discussion as to whether or not the redheaded teen should be allowed to come along with the troupe; so upon seeing Hisoka with the cards, Morintonio had asked him if he knew any magic tricks.
The boy simply smiled and performed a few magic tricks. Most of them were basic and simple, but he did manage to pull off a couple that impressed both the ring leader and the magician. When asked about his talents, Hisoka simply replied, “My mother was a clever and talented woman.” It was then Morintonio offered for him to join the troupe and Magikana volunteered to take the boy under her wing.
Drawing his attention back to the task at hand, Hisoka opened up his makeup and glanced down at the BungeeGum wrapper he had laid out. With a steady and practiced hand he applied his eye liner and some light blue eyeshadow to compliment the pinks and yellows of his outfit. He then applied a tinted lip gloss to give his full lips both shine and color.
“And now for the finishing touches,~ ♢” he mused to himself. He leaned in close to the mirror and painted a yellow teardrop on his left cheek and a pink star on his right cheek, both just below the outer corners of his eyes. Hisoka then leaned back and admired his work.
“Why, aren’t I just the little treat! ♡” he smiled to himself. Hisoka instantly regretted his words as a memory ripped through his mind.
He was in a small, poorly lit room and there was a mixed scent of dirty bed sheets and alcohol. He wore nothing more than his boxers. His body trembling had not been due to him being cold, he was scared and felt horribly vulnerable. He wasn’t alone, a man stood swaying before him with a bottle in one hand. The man’s glazed eyes slowly went over the poor, nearly naked boy with the look of a predator. The man reached over to Hisoka and firmly took his chin in a rough hand, forcing Hisoka to look up at him. Hisoka shuddered as the man ran a rough thumb over his lips.
“My,” the man slurred, “aren’t chu jusht the little treat.”
Hisoka cried out and tore his vision away from the mirror. His body trembled just as it had in the memory and his breathing came out in quick, ragged breaths. Tears started to form in his eyes as he stared at the floor with his hands braced against his knees. His mind raced as he struggled to get his thoughts back under control.
“H-hey, Hisoka? You okay in there, kid?” It was one of the adults that was sharing the sleeping area. The sudden voice caused Hisoka to blink out of his traumatic trance and glance quickly around the bathroom to assure himself of where he was and that he was safe. He then jumped a little when there was a loud knock at the bathroom door.
“Hey! Hisoka! You okay?!” The man was now shouting and even sounded a little concerned as he tried the locked door knob. Hisoka wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there in that state or how long someone had been knocking at the bathroom door.
“I’m f-fine,” Hisoka’s voice cracked. He internally cursed himself then cleared his throat.
“I’m fine, thank you, ♡” he said in a more confident voice, “I’ll be out in a minute. ♣”
After a quick glance in the mirror to check his makeup, Hisoka threw his previous outfit and everything else into his travel bag then grabbed it and headed for the door. He unlocked it, threw it open and strode out like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As he did so, he passed by a tall, limber man with no hair and wearing a tumblers outfit.
The man put one hand on his hip while he rubbed his bald head with the other, watching the redheaded teen with a look of concern.
“You sure you okay, kid? It sounded like you were screaming in there.”
Hisoka suppressed a cringe, disgusted and agitated with his lack of control over himself. He looked up at the man and smiled.
“Yes, I accidentally stubbed my toe you see,~ ♠” he lied, “It just simply caught me off guard is all. ♣”
The man frowned and Hisoka could tell he didn’t believe him. But instead of pressing the matter any further, the man shrugged, grabbed a large bag filled with juggling pins, balls, and rings then headed out of the room closing the door behind him.
As soon as the man left, Hisoka’s false smile fell away from his face and he let loose an irritated sigh. Hisoka felt as though his mental state wasn’t getting any worse, but it sure as hell wasn’t getting much better.
A sudden surge of loneliness washed over him as he secretly wished there was someone he could talk to. He did consider Abaki and Magikana to be friends, to a point, but he knew they wouldn’t understand him and would most likely ostracize him if he told them of his past. There was Morintonio, but Hisoka simply felt he did not know enough about the man to feel comfortable or safe enough to spill his dark secrets.
It began to feel as though a cold, lonely feeling of despair had coiled around him and was squeezing him tightly; so much to the point it felt like it was becoming harder to breathe. Hisoka swallowed the growing lump in his throat and wrapped his arms around himself as his shoulders started to tremble. Tears began to prick his eyes and his lower lip quivered a little. He thought of simply calling it a night and going to bed. After all, Magikana was more than capable of putting on a small sideshow all by herself.
A boisterous group out in the hallway laughed and carried on as they passed the room’s closed door. The sudden noise caused him to start and it snapped him out of his dark thoughts, allowing him to shake off some of the melancholy he was sinking into. He wanted to be a part of that, a part of the laughter and joy. He wanted people to see him and see how great and wonderful he could be. Would hiding in this room all balled up and feeling sorry for himself achieve that?
“No! ♣” he said loudly to no one other than himself, “The show must go on! And I will wow and dazzle them like no other! ♢”
With a surge of confidence and the determination not to let life bring him down, Hisoka snatched a couple packs of playing out of his bag, put them in his breast pockets then tossed his bag up onto his bunk. Next he grabbed his performance boots made of soft medium grey leather and pulled them on. They nearly came up to his knee, had two inch heels, and had the card suit symbols as studs set in a diamond pattern on the outer side of each boot.
Hisoka then hopped to his feet and tapped his boots in place before bolting for the door. He threw open the door and nearly crashed right into Abaki who was standing just on the other side. Hisoka had to grab the door frame to stop so suddenly and Abaki grabbed him by the shoulders in a surprised response.
“Oh!” she gasped, “There you are! Kana was looking for you, you two will be starting in just a few minutes, come on!”
Before Hisoka even had a chance to respond Akabi grabbed him by the hand and started running down the hall towards the stairs with him in tow. Hisoka was grateful he had been able to pull himself back together when he had, he did not want his one of two friends to see him in the unstable state he had been in.
Without hesitation Abaki ran down the flight of stairs while still holding his hand and made a beeline for the door. As soon as they got outside and to the harbor, Hisoka was astounded by the amount of people that had come to see the little side shows. He could feel a small surge of adrenaline from excitement and anticipation start to flow in his veins. Abaki released his hand and pointed in a direction through the crowds.
“Kana should be over there finishing getting ready. You better hurry! I have to get to my group, break a leg!” She then turned and started to push through the crowd in the opposite direction she had pointed.
As Hisoka started to make his way through he barely heard Abaki shout out to him, “Oh! Hisoka! Meet me back here when you’re done and we can walk along the beach for shells!”
Not sure if his friend could see him, the redheaded teen simply reached up and waved his hand above his head to confirm he had heard her. He then continued pushing through the crowd in the direction Abaki had told him to go. After a couple minutes, he breached the mass of people and stepped in the empty circular space that they had formed around his trainer.
Magikana was dressed wonderfully in her full performance attire. She wore a scarlet satin tunic with open billowy sleeves and black velvet lycra leggings. A set of black card suit symbols went down the front of her tunic. On her shoulders was a black shawl with a high collar and bright silvery embroidery along with silver card suit symbols. On the underside of the shawl was a vibrant yellow satin material with more card suit patterns. Her boots were the same as Hisoka’s minus the fact they were black instead of grey. A vibrant yellow top hat with a dark blue top and red and black card suit symbols encircling near the base completed the outfit.
The magician straightened up from leaning over her chest of supplies and gave her trainee a small frown. She mouthed the words “you are late”. In response Hisoka gave a sheepish grin and shrugged. She looked like she was about to say more but stopped herself as she looked over his face carefully. After a moment she pressed her lips tightly together and gave him a single nod followed by the signal to get the show started.
Hisoka’s smile became genuine as his heart began to race with excitement and he turned to face the crowd. He then began to announce as loudly and clearly as possible, “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages! ♣ You are about to be tantalizingly wonderfied and mind numbingly mystified by the greatest magic show Moritintio’s Traveling Circus has to offer. ♢” As he spoke he swept his hands and arms gracefully through the air while practically dancing along the edge of the crowd, drawing everyone’s eyes to him.
“Introducing the lady of mystery and mistress of the arts of magic and illusions, the one and only, Magikana! ♡” Hisoka turned and made a sweeping gesture towards Magikana’s back, and in doing so, delivered everyone’s attention over to her.
Magikana twirled in place so that she now faced her apprentice. She made a wide, sweeping bow towards the crowd. Standing up smiled out to the crowd and started to walk forward.
“Zank you, my dear, for zat marvelous intro-” Magikana suddenly tripped and stumbled over her own feet. Hisoka winced as people around the crowd began to snicker.
“Ah ha, v-vell,” Magikana stuttered as she straightened back up and smiled nervously. “Ve all make mistake, yes?” She pulled out a deck of playing cards seemingly out of thin air and began to shuffle them. “Now, for my first trick I-”
She was cut off again as the cards suddenly flew from her hand and all about the ground. A look of horror came across her face as Hisoka brought a hand up to cover his face in shame. People began to laugh and boo as Magikana stood there and nervously chewed a fingernail.
Just as it looked like people were about to leave, a sly, mysterious smile spread across Magikana’s wide, thin lips and a mischievous glint flashed in her eyes. She twirled in place and let out a cry as she came down into a wide stanced crouch and slapped one palm down upon the ground. As soon as she did, each card that was laying on the ground suddenly burst into small clouds of different colored smoke. From the smoke flew out two to three pink and red hemotropic butterflies. The startled crowd made noises of awe as they watched the butterflies flit about before heading towards the inn the troupe was staying in.
“Now zat I have your undivided attention,” Magikana crowed, shuffling yet another deck of cards that had mysteriously appeared in her hands, “Zee real show can begin!”
With that, time went by in a blur. Both Magikana and Hisoka put on a glamorous show that kept people guessing for days; looking back and wondering just how objects seemingly appeared out of thin air or floated about, defying gravity. Before long, the donation box Hisoka would periodically work around the edge of the crowd was fit to burst.
In a little over an hours time the show was over and people were slowly departing. Magikana and Hisoka were cleaning up their area when she looked over at her young apprentice and smiled.
“You did very vell tonight, little vun,” she praised, “I vas concerned at first, I could tell you had been upset. Everything is okay now, yes?”
Hisoka opened his mouth to respond but decided against his words. He then simply smiled and nodded instead. Magikana gave him a warm, sympathetic look.
“You know, you can alvays talk to me, my deary,” she said gently. “You are like nephew to me, I vill alvays have time to listen to you.”
Yes, that may be true, but you may not like what you hear… ♠ Hisoka thought bitterly to himself. And if you knew the truth about me, would you still call me your nephew? ♣
“I will be sure to keep that in mind, sensei, thank you. ♡” His words and appreciation were genuine, but Magikana could tell something was still being kept from her. She let out a soft sigh and changed the subject.
“Night is still young, you have plans?”
“Actually, I do. Abaki asked me to join her to collect shells along the beach. ♡”
“Ah, zat sounds vunderful. And moonlight is good enough for such venture.” Magikana then made a shooing gesture with her hand. “Go zen, I vill get zee rest.”
Hisoka hesitated as there was still quite a bit of cleanup to do.
“Are you sure? ♣”
She nodded, “Yes, little vun should go and have fun vith friend. Ah! But if you see starfish, bring back for me. Add to collection.”
Hisoka smirked, nodded, then turned and headed towards the direction he was supposed to meet Abaki.
The crowds were still thick as the other shows had also ended. People milled about as they were slowly making their own way while conversing about what they had just seen. Hisoka decided to move to the outer edge of the crowd and work his way up along so that the buildings and alleys were to his left and the masses of people to his right. This made movement a little easier.
He was in good spirits now, the emotional traumas he experienced not that long ago were pushed far back into the recesses of his mind. And he looked forward to a nice moonlit walk on the beach with his friend.
Perhaps I can convince Abaki to ask Camilla to join us. That would really rub Jasper the wrong way.~ ♡ Hisoka chuckled at his own thoughts.
Unfortunately, Hisoka’s divided attention between his own thoughts and avoiding the crowds streaming past had caused him to not pay enough attention to the narrow alleys he was passing. A large, strong hand reached out and grabbed him by the wrist, retching him into the ally and throwing him down on the filthy ground a couple meters in.
Even though mildly stunned, Hisoka was quick to get back onto his feet only to receive a blow to the stomach. The redheaded teen gagged and stumbled a few steps back. Through watering eyes he looked up to see Jasper standing tall with a look of triumph and malice.
“Hello, twink,” he sneered. “I overheard Abaki saying she was to meet you after the shows. I knew you two were more than friends. Does she know you’re just leading her on?”
“Why?~ ♣” Hisoka smirked and straightened up more, still holding one hand to his stomach, “Are you jealous, Jasper? I’m sorry to say this, but, you’re just not my type.~ ♠”
Jasper sneered in disgust at Hisoka using Abaki’s own words at him. But Hisoka wasn’t done.
“Besides, what you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. Why would I lead Abaki on if I were gay? ♣”
Jasper hesitated before he gave a triumphant grin and pointed at Hisoka.
“It’s because you want more to be like you!”
“Oh?~ ♣”
“Yeah! Being gay is messed up and you don’t want to be alone, that’s why you’ve corrupted Abaki!”
Hisoka couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. He popped a hip and moved his hand from his stomach to that hip.
“You poor homophobic fool,~ ♠” he chuckled and shook his head. “Abaki was interested in girls for quite some time before I even showed up. She told me herself. ♡And, if I recall correctly, she’s told you the same. ♣”
“You’re lying,” Jasper snarled. He balled his hands into tight fists of anger.
“Oh? Am I now? ♣ Or are you just too naive and stubborn to face the truth that Abaki isn’t in you? And that, in fact, the girl you like is interested in your sister instead?~ ♡”
“Shut up,” Jasper spat, “you shut your filthy queer mouth right now!”
Hisoka’s smile became mischievous. He enjoyed upsetting Jasper to no end and wanted to push him even further.
“And, if you ask me, it would appear your sister likes Aba-”
“I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!!”
Jasper charged Hisoka in a fit of rage. Hisoka simply smirked as Jasper had played right into Hisoka’s hands. As Jasper threw a punch aimed for Hisoka’s face, Hisoka easily sidestepped the blow and brought his elbow down on the back of Jasper’s neck as hard as he could.
If the blow to the back of Jasper’s neck hadn’t rendered him unconscious, then the harsh impact of his face meeting the hard ground did. Hisoka snickered at the unconscious Jasper now at his feet.
“Pathetic,” he sighed, “I expected a better fight from you than that.~ ♠”
As he was about to turn and walk out of the alley when something caught Hisoka’s attention. Jasper’s hands, they were smaller than the hand that had grabbed him and threw him into the alley.
Just as Hisoka realized this there was noise of movement behind him. He started to spin around and attempted to put up his nen in defense, but he wasn’t fast enough. Without seeing who his surprise attacker was, Hisoka felt a sudden sharp pain to the back of his head and everything went dark.
~ ~ ~
Previous Chapter: Bubblegum Blood Prologue Pt. 2 - A Glimpse of Darkness
Next Chapter: Bubblegum Blood Ch. 4 - On Death’s Doorstep
~ ~ ~
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, if you did, please be sure to slap that heart note!
#hisoka#hisoka hunter x hunter#hunterxhunter#hunter x hunter fanfiction#hxh#hunter x hunter headcanon#headcanon#anime#anime headcanon#fanfiction#anime fanfic#young hisoka#teen hisoka#hisoka fanfiction#oc story#backstory#hunter x hunter world#dark hisoka#prologue#hxh fanfiction
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You said the other day that you don't really like Talon stories. Do you mind saying why?
LOL they’re just not really what I’m here for? Idk, I think people tend to make a bigger deal out of this than it actually is even in my head, maybe because Talon stories have so quickly become such a staple of fics that it just seems weird not to like them? And its not like I’ve never liked one or been intrigued by a premise, I have, though specific recs elude me at the moment, there’s one I was reading on ff.net I really enjoyed, it was YJ verse.....
But honestly its really just that a recurring theme of Dick’s stories in canon - and one of the things I turn to fanfic for in the first place, to get away from, to read something ELSE about him - is dehumanization. Reducing his sense of self, brainwashing or controlling him, making him other than he usually is, even just in temporary ways....it gets old. I come to fanfic hoping to read and write stuff beyond that, and Talon fics are so often even heavier on the dehumanizing him aspect of things, like making him even more mindless than most Talons in canon are ever portrayed, and don’t get me started on how often they just flat out refer to Talon Dick as ‘it’.....its just a no thanks from me. Just not what I’m looking for.
Add to that other incidentals, like, its completely understandable in context of these narratives that the Batfam feel they have to restrain Dick while he’s a Talon and in the Batcave, but again, its just not something I’m looking to read? Because for example, another big theme of mine is how uncomfortable and unwelcome I think Dick’s come to feel in Wayne Manor over the years, given the many times Bruce has essentially kicked him out and how little effort he’s made to make it into a home for him again (like I think there are more reasons than just grief that Dick lived in the penthouse rather than the Manor when Bruce was believed dead and Dick was in charge of his estate)....so when you look at things from that angle, which I’m just kinda predisposed towards doing, the imprisonment angle of Talon fics (and the attitudes of a lot of the Batcharacters as they go about it, like they’re just being pragmatic, Dick will understand - yeah he might understand but that doesn’t mean there won’t be mental and emotional undercurrents of resentment and hurt to that understanding)....like, its just one more way/reason for Dick’s childhood home to be turned against him and made a place where he feels or will remember feeling explicitly unwelcome. I’m not saying its WRONG to take that angle in fics, lol, I’m just saying....its not for me. Its just not what I’m looking for.
Also its a bit of a pet peeve to see Talon abilities viewed as an upgrade rather than something inflicted on him by his tormentors and at BEST somethting Dick would have very conflicting views on - and tbh this isn’t limited to just him, I have similar thoughts about how Cass might feel about her own abilities and how even now that she can communicate well with others, she still feels somewhat different or removed from most people because of this ‘superpower’ that had to be ABUSED into her and that she would have traded for her father’s actual love any day - but I mean, there’s a thing in a lot of Talon fics where alongside the dehumanization angle, which Dick isn’t even just expected to just ‘get over’ once he’s back to his regular mental awareness, because its usually never even delved into, how he feels about the fact that for awhile there, he was nothing more than an ‘it’ even in his family’s eyes, and IMO he’s like, funny, I’m pretty sure I’m still the only person in this body all along, so if it was just an it to you, where exactly did you think I was? But aside from the angst I feel he SHOULD have from thinking about how easily he was viewed as just a mindless tool and pawn and thing by people, there’s a tendency to hop, skip and jump to him being okay with his Talon ‘upgrades’ because they make him so much more effective....and there’s just a WAY this is usually gone about that like, for me, glosses over how effective he was without them, and the fact that none of his family members seem to need or think they need them themselves to be effective....and somewhere in all that, it seems to get lost that the whole reason the Court even WANTS Dick so badly is because of how effective he is even already.
Plus - there’s my personal annoyance with how characters with super-fast healing are treated in narratives across the board. In comics, books, movies, shows, fics, everywhere - I ranted about this a TON in Teen Wolf fandom, its a complaint I have with Wolverine and his family in Marvel comics, etc....I vastly dislike how often its just treated as assumed that just because a character heals rapidly, like....the actual trauma and pain of injuries inflicted might as well not even matter. Like, that’s not how it works IMO? When I think about a time I broke an arm, I’m not thinking about ‘oh it barely matters because it only took a couple months to heal and when I view that in the context of my whole lifespan that’s barely anything, it was so fast’....like no, I’m thinking about what it felt like when I actually BROKE it. There’s a tendency, I feel, when characters get an ability to make an injury disappear out of sight out of mind rapidly, to just view the emotional and mental consequences of injury being inflicted as negligible, and not really mattering anymore, and I heavily disagree with that logic. IMO, these characters throwing themselves headfirst in front of everyone else as a human shield, while practical in one sense of the word, is also like, begging to be examined as oh I see, so basically you’re saying that now that you no longer need to be treated with care because you’re invulnerable, you’re worthless and the pain that goes along with all those injuries you get 100x more of now, that’s like...meaningless and fake news.
I mean, even if you make an argument for Dick no longer having pain receptors (which I’d also be heavily against because uh, if you go that route you’re also inadvertently suggesting things about his sensory input and ability to feel varying degrees of touch across the board and again its more the lack of examination of that as much as anything else that’s things that make me go mmmm no thanks)....the injuries are still being inflicted and there’s still gonna be psychological damage inflicted from processing that no one seems significantly bothered by him being ‘family niche - human pincushion for the prevention of others saying oww’ without so much as commentary.
And lastly, did I mention, I just really really reeeeeeally dislike the dehumanization angle that tends to go hand in hand with these fics.
But for the record, like, I honestly do like the Court of Owls and what they bring to Dick’s stories because all of this, ironically is precisely why they DO play so well into his core themes of autonomy and independence and self-determinism. Its just, I’m here for fics where Dick triumphs over them and their attempts to hijack him and his life for their own agendas, and I feel like a lot of the time we see a Pyrrhic victory at best, when going the Talon route, and a lot of THAT time its not even regarded or treated as such, but rather a full victory with no real examination of how Dick’s life is different now, how he’s changed not just by what was done to him but by how he was treated by BOTH sides WHILE it was done to him?
And the other element here is like....the Court and their presence in his fics doesn’t HAVE to equal making him a full on Talon along the way, just like it never has in canon. I don’t view the fulfillment of what’s inherently a THREAT to his character as an improvement UPON his character. *shrugs* But also there’s just so many avenues for angst or emotional tangles when it comes to the Court even without making Dick a Talon himself.....just have him picturing or having nightmares of imagining his parents turned into Talons and how horrifying he’d find that, or worry in the wake of revelations about the Court that his family is now looking at him differently, imagining the threat HE could be when he hasn’t even done anything. Or there’s the angle of Bruce knowing but not telling him to try and protect him but that causing conflict OR you could go a route I’ve never seen done before, and like, have Dick and Bruce come into conflict with the Court before any of the others come along and like, save Dick from ever being made a full Talon but the point is years later the Court resurfaces and they and their plans for Dick are a complete revelation to his siblings and there’s perfectly understandable conflict because of that even if the reason is as simple and equally as understandable as Bruce didn’t feel it was his to share if Dick didn’t want to, as long as they honestly thought the Court had been neutralized, and he respected that its a painful topic to Dick that he wasn’t trying to hide, he just flat out didn’t want to talk about so it never came up.
There’s a lot that can be done with the Court, but usually they’re just utilized as a prelude to Talon Dick Grayson and bottom line is that’s just not somewhere I’m usually looking to go, personally.
BUT in the spirit of me being completely contradictory as always, again its like I said, there are some here and there that I really get into, there’s a YJ one that really delves deep into Dick’s emotions on all of this and has a prequel set during Jason’s Robin days, when they first encounter the Court, I forget the title but someone feel free to drop it in the notes if you know what I’m talking about, and @dustorange always does interesting things with the Court and Talons that’s different each time and I’m sure I’m forgetting more, so its not like.....a blanket across the board nope thing. Its just I have particular reservations about HOW a lot of Talon and Court fics play out that I’m just....not the right audience for simply because its not what I’m looking for in fics, personally.
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