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bnuuybee-writes · 2 years

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Thermodynamics (Kaeya x Reader x Diluc)

Author’s Note: Hrng imma be honest this is entirely self-indulget kinda- like i had the idea and idk if the execution is any good but uh enjoy nonetheless- Reader is gender-neutral, and interchangeable anatomy [ex. pussy/cock] will be used if you don’t like that, don’t read this. (Also - Diluc and Kaeya are meanies) THIS ISNT KAELUC IN THE SLIGHTEST, they aren’t dating in this nor will they ever date in any future fics/one-shots I write (they're brothers pls-) so pls think of it as them tag-teaming yn-

Warnings: Multiple orgasms implied, heavy temperature play, (temperature play centric, basically lmao) impact play/spanking, harsh degradation/name-calling from Diluc, pet names, and praise(?) from Kaeya, safe wording (side note: it’s okay to safe word!!! Esp in sex!! Do it if you feel uncomfy during sex at any moment!!)

Synopsis: No plot babeyyyy this is porn with no plot/plot what plot story lets goooooo. But fr tho the whole premise is that you came to Diluc and Kaeya and wanted them to use their visions on you in that way, and uh… Well, they deliver.

Word Count - 700+ words

“Aww~ Aren’t they cute, Diluc?” Kaeya chides, lifting your drool-slicked chin so you can face him, lidded eyes crossed and tongue lolling out in the best fucked-out expression the cryo user had ever seen.

You hear Diluc scoff behind you, which turns into a groan as he shoves into you ‘til he’s balls deep in your hole. All the while, hot hands play with your sensitive chest, and an ice-cold hand messes with your clit/cock, stroking lazily and rubbing circles until you see stars.

“Sh-Shut up, Kaeya… Tryin’ to focus…~” Diluc grumbles, giving your left nipple a pinch. It makes you cry out, eyes snapping open as lean into both men’s embrace.

You try and find something to hold onto with Kaeya, the man in front of you, as Diluc fucks you hard and slow from behind. The stimulating duality of temperatures pushes your senses into overdrive, making you squirm til the redhead grabs your hair and yanks.

“Oi,” He growls in your ear, pace quickening to where you can hear and feel his balls slapping against you, “Tryin’ to run away, little whore? Thought you wanted this~”

You whine and shake your head, while Kaeya clicks his tongue at Diluc calling you a name.

“Don’t be like that, Diluc,” Kaeya says, placing an icy kiss on your cheek. (it makes you shiver as goosebumps track your arms from the contact) “Little puppy didn’t do anythin’ wrong…”

If you had a tail, they’d be wagging between you and Diluc as Kaeya calls you that name. Little ears on your head would have been perked up, but Kaeya can see the immediate light of your eyes. It makes him chuckle, seeing you so eager to be railed by fire and ice at the same time.

Red hot hands deliver a harsh SMACK to your rear that makes you snap out of the awe Kaeya had you under and moan loudly, your head falling onto the blue-haired male’s shoulder. Diluc smirks and pinches your right nipple with warm fingers, rubbing circles all around it.

Then, it stops. You drop from cloud nine like an anchor and whine loudly.

“Jeez, eager to continue still?” Diluc asks, breathy laughter erupting from the back of your neck, “You’re givin’ me a run for my money, little whore~”

You whine against the cock in your mouth as Diluc swirls his tongue around your cock/clit, giving flicking licks and harsh suckles. Meanwhile, Kaeya groans and pets your head as you swirl your tongue around his ice-cold cock, inhaling deeply through your nose and whining around it as his step-brother pleases your privates with his tongue.

“Fuck, jus’ like that, pup… Suck y’er popsicle jus’ like that~” Kaeya slurs, feeling the whines around his dick come to a peak as his stepbrother makes you cum for what seems like the millionth time tonight. Your juices spurt onto Diluc’s tongue and he chuckles, giving your rear another smack with a hot hand.

You had to stop. Before it got worse.

“Good little whore for me, baby~” He says, two fingers prodding at your entrance again, “Think you can do it again, slut? Hm?”

In all honesty, you aren’t sure. Between the sensation of Diluc’s hot tongue on your cock/clit, and your tongue weighing heavy on Kaeya’s cold dick, you’re not sure if you can take more. In fact, the burns and cold were starting to hurt. Ice patches began to form on your skin and the burns started to seep through the exodermis.

Taking your mouth off of Kaeya’s freezing dick and cough, making Diluc stop and Kaeya look down at you with a worried expression in his one visible eye.

“R-Red… Red, please, I-I need to stop.” You breathe, swallowing thickly. And immediately, both are off of you, Diluc coming up from behind you and wrapping gentle, strong arms around you. Kaeya backs off the moment the color’s name leaves your mouth, rushing to grab a blanket and a care kit.

You lay against Diluc’s warm chest, your own heaving, trying to catch your breath. Looking down at your stomach and thighs, you see the effects of their visions - ice cold, pale patches, and flushed hot red ones dot your skin. Among that are dark bruises shaped like mouths and hands.

You three… Went all out, that’s for sure.

Kaeya comes back with a warm blanket and a first aid kit, treating each burn, frozen and warm, and Diluc wraps you in the blanket. You finally are able to steady your breathing, and look at the two men, grateful that they listened to your safeword.

Diluc and Kaeya bicker amongst themselves as you start to get drowsy from exhaustion. As you drift off to sleep, they agree on one thing - you’re theirs.

#kaeya alberich #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin impact thirst #~the king's library

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crystalbrain7 · 2 years

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this is "interchange". send ur ETHs here:

ok, this is some serious green shit wafting over some kind of fucking thing. i will not tell what that thing is, i refuse to do it, u can't make me; its privileleged information for me to hide from u. well not really since u can see it i guess. ok, i'll tell, it's a bunch of purple, black, and red stuff. are u happy? well maybe i lied, did u think of that mr. smartygokartypants? i could have totally just lied to u, like u could be colorblind and never know that i told a big fat lie and u would be the dunce in this situation for once and not me, who is always a dunce.

the green smoke reminds a little of "i dream of jeeeeenie" or whatever that show with the blonde woman with superduper powers actually was in the 1860s or 1960s or whatever. i only saw it on dick at night or dick van dyke at night or oh yeah nick at nite, that's what it was called which was tv for older people in my brain. the name of this is interchange i guess it looks like something changing to some ppl. please forgive me, i am stupid, give me a fuckin break already.

#nft #nftcommunity #nft artist #nftartist #nftartists #cryptoart #fractal art #digital art #digital artist

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lovelysho · 3 years

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any friend of yours, is a friend of mine. <3

✰summary; in which you and eren are both two twisted individuals, but you like it that way.

✰pairings; eren jaeger x fem!reader // armin arlert x fem!reader

✰warnings: nsfw/18+, smut, creampie, rough sex, degradation, choking, slapping, manipulation, manhandling,overall toxicness.

it wasn’t your typical game of cat and mouse. oh no, you shared that role interchangeably.

you and eren had a certain dynamic to maintain. you both got a kick out of toying with one another; but not only that, the two of you possessed qualities that were too probable to clash. in turn making whatever you had, virtually set in stone from the start.

everyone could see it and were well aware. so how you ended up dragging whoever you wanted, whenever you wanted into your little games? you guess you’ve both just got it like that. what you want, you get.

that’s how you end up in the back seat of eren’s bentley riding dick like your life depended on it.

“ar-are you sure this is okay [name]?” armin’s voice chimed in your ear, resonating like sweet bells. soft and scarcely restrained, it was perfect beside the sound of your skin slapping against his. your wet cunt squelching around his shaft, hands gripping the back of the seat, behind his head as you bounced up and down.

“why wouldn’t it be?” you pull back from his neck and ask innocently as you looked into his sapphire-esque eyes. you were just so cute and all around adorable. everyone who knew you would agree.

“eren’s right inside of that store.” he tries to sneak a glance out of the window, but you grab his chin gently, bringing him to face you.

“I-I thought you wanted this armin, wanted me.” you coo sweetly, a pout gracing your features.

“I do, fuck I do.”

“yeah? then tell me, tell me how good I make you feel.” a soft moan fills the space, as you continue your swift thrusts, now with his assistance.

his hands gripping the fat of your thighs and ass, helping you set the pace of an up and downwards motion.

throwing his head back he couldn’t help but to let loose and relish in this moment. he knew it was wrong for so many reasons. knew somewhat, even if not all, of what you had going on with eren. no one ever knew what to call it, but believe him he knew. then there was always the thought of where you were committing such an act.

It was exhilarating to him, to say the least, and you could see it all over this face. cheeks flushed red, blond strands gripping to his forehead, sticky with sweat, bottom lip between teeth shit.

you got off to the thought of reducing him to such a state. sweet little armin. that was one of the fun parts. the fact that he was eren’s friend was a hefty bonus. 100+ points. racked up on that one. you smile as the thought crossed your mind.

“damn you feel so good, [name]. so wet, so tight.”

“fuck me armin, please.”

and he did. all it took was for that feathery voice of yours, a breath of air against his earlobe, before you cease all movement as he’s thrusting his hips wildly into yours.

“shit, I’m gonna cum armin. you gonna let me cum for you?”

“fuck yes, ahh! [name] ‘m gonna, ‘m gonna-”

and that’s how you both finish. lifting yourself off of him and pulling your panties up, you pat one of his flushed cheeks uttering a “good job darlin” as you usher him to hop back into the passenger seat.

eren returned shortly after, completely unaware of the milky cum his best friend just pumped into you, leaking onto your cotton panties and threatening to drip out of your skimpy skirt into his very car seats.

you were lying in your bedroom on your stomach with your pretty satin night gown on to match the bedspread underneath you as you clicked away on your phone. legs crossed, swinging to and fro, when your mom knocked on your door telling you, you had a visitor.

you knew you didn’t invite anymore over today, and were shocked to see eren in the doorway upon opening it.

he barged in not giving you any time to talk, shutting and locking the door behind him. luckily for him, your mom knew and adored him. she was about the only one who remained clueless as to the relationship the two of you really held.

“eren? what are you doing here?” you bat your eyelashes up at him.

grabbing your throat he slams you against the wall, your leg bumping firmly against your dresser, which you let out a hiss at.

“you can cut that cutesy bullshit. save it for the next friend of mine you wanna fuck.” he spat.

his hair was down, damp from what you assumed to be a shower. a clear indication that he threw all caution to the wind to come over here. dropped everything.

you always did think he looked prettiest with his hair down. it made whenever he took those calloused fingers of his and pushed them back over his forehead, that much better. that those jade irises shone the brightest when he did so, finally coming to light.

you had told him that once when what the two of you had was simple, heart warming even. that’s probably why he never wore it down. just to spite you.

his grip on your neck was sturdy, and you were finding it hard to breathe. opening your moth to try and speak, only to feel lightheaded. so, he loosened his grip, arm almost falling completely.

you took a moment to gather yourself. grabbing his hand and removing it from your neck, you step away from him and can’t stop the giggle that escapes your lips. voice horse, this was just too good.

“oh shit, he told you? It hasn’t even been twenty four hours. damn I had faith in him, guess I owe myself a pedicure.”

his face twists in anger, and if looks could kill, you’d be a dead son of a bitch. he harshly shoves you back onto the bed. “you’re a fucking slut you know that?fucking my friend and placing bets with yourself on how long it’d take until he cracked? you’re fucking sick.”

“oh I’m sick?! let’s not even go there. especially when it comes to who’s fucking who. you fucked both mikasa and sasha!”

“yeah and you went fucking crazy when I did, bitch!”

“oh, fuck you eren.” you stand up to get in his face, pointing and spitting the same venom he had came at you with. “If I’m a slut what does that make you? face it, you’re a goddamn whore and you’re just mad because I get even.”

you both stood in silence eyes boring heavily into each other with such hate? no, it was more complicated than that. chests rising and falling with the harsh words that hung in the air, breathing heavy.

all of a sudden he’s pressing you against the wall; but you weren’t alarmed, you never were. you knew exactly what was about to go down.

yanking down his sweats, he lifts your gown and moves your panties to the side, rubbing his middle and forefinger against your folds. “you’re a goddamn psychotic slut. wet from me spitting in your face and tossing you around like a goddamn doll. you like this shit don’t you?”

you just smirk and bite your lip, closing you eyes and you feel his fingers working in between your legs.

“you ‘oughta be lucky I like this little pussy of yours.” he says as he delivers a hard smack to your clit. “fucking someone in my car, you must’ve lost your damn mind. it’s okay though, I’ll help you find it.”

pulling your straps down, he finally lifts you up and your ankles wrap around his waist, your back cold and hard pressed against the wall. your tits were on full display, nipples pert and tingly as he gripped your breast bringing it to his mouth to circle his warm hot tongue over your areola.

your pussy was growing wetter by the moment, practically sopping. clenching around nothing as you waited for him to sheath himself into you.

he wanted you to whine, cry out for his dick. and you were holding out, defying him, but it wasn’t long before his cock is rubbing teasingly against your clit earning the small whimpers that escape your lips.

“say you fucking want it. the real you, none of that baby shit you put on for everyone else.”

“I want it, eren. you know I do. ‘want your dick so bad.”

he’s pumping in and out of you, fucking you relentlessly against the wall, right next to your mothers bedroom. roughly and without a hint of hesitation. no care for whether you were prepared to take him or not. he stretched you like no other. that one vein of his rubbing alongside your walls only making you clench harder as the best part of him kissed your cervix deliciously.

you never lasted long with him, could never. always opting to go rounds because the dick was just that good.

“tell me you won’t fuck my friends again. say it.” a sharp sound reverberates off the walls.

tears brim at your lash lines, the sting of his hand against your cheek, and the stimulation he was providing you. the ball in your stomaching was about to burst.

“I swear I won’t fuck your friends again. I promise!! a-ah — shit eren. I- I won’t. ever again. fuckkk.”

“I’d call you a good girl, but you’re anything but.” he says before he’s cumming inside of your gripping hole, coating your walls a thick shade of white.

“this pussy is mine. don’t forget it.” he taps your clit before sliding out.

he pulls up his sweats, gives you a look over his shoulder before he’s out of your door, out of your home. leaving you there, legs shaking and hands struggling to grip the wall as to hold yourself up.

It was an empty promise. you knew within the next week you’d be in between the sheets of another. getting fucked once again, and as would he.

so you could say, in truth you did enjoy it. and you weren’t the only one. you liked fucking the other over. hurting each other’s feelings if at all possible.

the comfort of knowing you’d turn around and run right back was all too addicting.

but don’t get it confused, you weren’t harboring any feelings for one another. it was just a simple game of cat and mouse.

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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Could you please go more in-depth about Dick and Slade’s relationship? Your top ten facts post about Nightwing was really insightful and the first time I heard about their relationship that wasn’t a mentor-student thing. I’ve been trying to find more stuff about it on my own but as mentioned before it’s really hard to find things about their dynamic without it getting muddled with the teacher-student idea. Thank you!

Yeah, sure! Like, it really, really, really can not be stressed enough, what a disservice fandom has done to the complexity of Dick and Slade’s canon comic book relationship, by simply reducing it to your fairly standard hero/villain trope. As well as making it just a master/apprentice dynamic like in Teen Titans. Their comic book dynamic is just not remotely interchangeable with that one. At all.

Among other things in the comics, in all of their encounters, Slade’s very presence is a constant living, breathing reminder of three of the outright worst moments in Dick’s life, and a walking embodiment of some of his biggest issues, all rolled up in one package.

1) Slade’s entrance to Dick’s life is the accompaniment to one of the greatest betrayals Dick has ever experienced. In order to get revenge for the death of his son, Grant, that he wrongly blamed the Titans for, Slade enlisted Tara Markov as his accomplice BEFORE any of the Titans ever met her. When her ultimate allegiances were revealed in the Judas Contract, and she singlehandedly took down and captured practically every Titan except for Dick, who escaped Slade when the latter saved him for himself....Dick, along with the other Titans, had to reconcile the fact that this woman they’d called their teammate, their friend, that they’d shared so much with, told so much to...had never been one of them.

Not really. She’d been plotting their betrayal and deaths from the literal first moment they ever met her. With Dick having to shoulder the additional burden that like...he was the team leader. He was the one who ultimately was responsible for approving her addition to the team, who made the decision, who vouched for her and said okay. I am giving you my trust, and by extension, telling everyone of my teammates who puts their trust in me to do right by them, that it is safe for them to trust you as well. Whether or not Dick needed to heft that much responsibility for Terra turning out to be a traitor is really not the point in this specific instance. All that matters is that he did.

Now, as an example....how many fics that touch on Slade and Dick’s relationship in comic book settings in any capacity....how many of them offhandedly reference the fact that Slade is unique among many villains or enemies of the Justice League, Titans and Batfamily, in that he knows Dick’s secret identity...and by extension, has long since figured out those of every other member of the Batfamily?

Now with that in mind.....how many of those fics ever do anything with the fact that....Slade only HAS this knowledge in the first place....because TERRA told him Dick’s secret identity way back when....after Dick trusted HER, his teammate and Slade’s secret plant from day one....with his identity and by extension, Bruce’s as well, and Jason’s, and every other member of their family who was later added in the future?

Like, it isn’t just something where Slade figured it out on his own, or Dick told him....this highly crucial, critical and rare information that Slade has when few others have it, even other heroes....Dick never voluntarily gave to him. Its stolen goods, effectively, with Slade only having gotten it by virtue of Dick’s mislaid trust in someone else entirely.

My point being.....we talk a lot in fandom about how Dick is so trusting, but the reality is....even while Dick does make a point to give people the benefit of the doubt and extend his trust at times to people with not so great reputations....this is a willful, deliberate choice on his part, a conscious effort, and not evidence of Dick having an easy time trusting people or being naive.

The reality is, Dick has massive trust issues, born in large part of the fact that his team once all almost died because he put his trust in the wrong person.....and SLADE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE FACE AT THE ROOT OF MOST OF DICK’S CANON TRUST ISSUES.

(It also needs to be acknowledged that this was while the team was very much the TEEN Titans, and Slade’s earliest appearances absolutely made not at all veiled inferences that Slade seduced Terra and used a sexual and/or romantic relationship to manipulate her and get her allegiance in the first place. When she was very much a teen herself. She was a victim as well, and Slade predatory in his interactions with her. It was statutory rape every bit as much as Liu with Dick. Like.....it is what it is guys, and you might not want to go with that take for him yourself, but no different from when people choose to focus on instances of Bruce’s abuse, you can’t get upset at people who DO want to acknowledge this aspect of things and be like....fuck any kind of Slade redemption or Slade positivity.)

2) Slade also happens to represent one of the single worst moments of Dick’s life, and what he’s often regarded as one of his greatest personal failures.....and that’s Joey’s death. Joey was possessed by the evil spirits left over from Raven’s home dimension after the team finally banished Trigon for good, with his own possession powers having made him particularly vulnerable to them possessing him en masse, and they over time took more and more control of him until he was effectively just a helpless passenger in his own body for a period of months, maybe even longer than a year.

While these spirits went about using his body to infiltrate and then hijack control of The Wildebeest Society, a group made up of former Titans foes for the express purpose of defeating the Titans.....and then as leader of the Wildebeest Society....having them systematically hunt down every Titan to ever exist, past or present, murdering many of them and capturing most of their superpowered members for the intended use of their bodies as hosts for the spirits sharing Joey’s body.

Now, not only is this a pretty direct parallel to Dick’s own experience being a brainwashed mole of the Church of Blood for over a year, secretly working to undermine his own teammates without any conscious control or even awareness of his own actions there, and with none of his teammates any the wiser, just as Dick himself hadn’t suspected anything wrong with Joey leading up to this reveal....

But after the Wildebeest Society had successfully either captured or killed every other Titan, Dick infiltrated their headquarters in disguise, in an attempt to free his teammates....only to be be caught and imprisoned by ‘Joey.’ With the latter then revealing the truth of why he was acting like this....and then continuing to keep Dick as his prisoner, chained up right by his side and tortured and helpless for over a week, as he and his minions continued with the rest of their work in preparing the carefully drugged/comatose Titans to be the spirits’ new hosts.

Let me reiterate....for over a week, Dick was the prisoner of evil spirits parading around in the body of one of his closest friends - the literal first person Dick chose to place his trust in again after it was first broken by Terra’s betrayal in the first place - while these spirits, did all of this in front of him with Joey’s face and body....gloating, taunting him, trying in every way imaginable to break him and his spirit. The whole time callously speaking of their intentions for the rest of Dick’s closest friends and their bodies, as they went about the final steps of their plan to basically use Dick and his team as the very tools they used to destroy everything they’d ever worked to protect and save.

Dick was only able to stop this and wake up the rest of his team...with Slade’s help, when the latter came in search of Joey himself. And at the end of it all, Joey was able to retake control of himself long enough to beg his father to kill him, before the spirits were able to overpower him again and use him to fulfill the rest of their plans.

Right in front of Dick.

Dick of course had spent the entire time he was a prisoner, trying his best to get through to Joey, believing with all his heart that Joey was in there still and could be saved, and of course, blaming himself for not seeing that something was wrong with Joey and stopping all of this sooner.

And then and there, Dick saw Joey resurface just as Slade did.....but while Dick saw this as proof that Joey was still there, could still be saved, they shouldn’t give up on him....Slade believed that doing the right thing then and there meant honoring Joey’s wishes for one of the first times ever in his life....even though that ultimately meant....also running Joey through with his sword. Again.....with Dick right there, still powerless to do anything to get up and help Joey, stop Slade, or propose another plan of action. He watched one of his best and dearest friends killed by his own father, because...in Dick’s own eyes....he’d failed to come up with an alternative in all the time he was prisoner....and failed to stop things from getting to that point in all the time before that, while Joey was possessed.

My point being....in the comic books, whether Dick and Slade are currently on good terms, bad terms, or neutral terms....they always exist for each other as a constant reminder of the death of one of the most important people in their lives. With that death being something they each blame themselves for and consider one of their greatest failures...as well as that death also being something they each at times have blamed each other for, for failing to come up with a way to save Joey, or protect him before he got to that point.

3) And finally, the third item of importance that I’m gonna gloss over for now as its more directly relevant to a post I wanna make about this later.....Slade’s direct involvement in the destruction of Bludhaven literally can’t be stressed enough. Whether you deem it in character or think he was written largely out of character at the time, with a case to be made for either stance, I think, the point remains that if you’re referencing Bludhaven having been destroyed at all, to any degree....Slade is once again at the heart of that matter, integral to every step of how that ultimately played out....with his position as the Society’s point man on that operation and his own personal grudge with Dick over various things, as well as Dick’s training of his daughter Rose - at Slade’s own insistence, but in ways Slade wasn’t pleased with, since Dick helped cultivate Rose’s actual heroic inclinations and instincts, which Slade did NOT sign off on - like, these things were directly step by step the path towards the Society ultimately following through and dropping Chemo on Bludhaven. With like, that being something that Slade absolutely could have stopped, thanks to his position, and even promised Dick as part of the agreement they made, that he WOULD keep from happening....only to renege on his word there.

In conclusion, Dick and Slade’s relationship and dynamic is SO SO SO SO SO MUCH MORE complex and varied than its basically ever made out to be in fanfics, and stems in large part from this one specific little tidbit that hardly ever seems to make it into fics’ final cuts.....

Slade respects Dick. Even when he doesn’t like him.

And I know, I know that fics pay a lot of lip service to this idea, but for the most part, its not substantiated. Or its clarified as though Slade respects Dick’s potential, or what he could be with Slade’s help or instruction....but that’s literally not the point of their canon.

The point is despite Dick being decades younger, Slade respects Dick as an opponent. As someone who has beaten him, bested him, in various ways and at various points. As well as respecting Dick as being a person who Slade’s son respected, and trusted, and valued a great deal. With a lot of Slade’s own memories of his son transferred onto Dick at times as a proxy, with Dick essentially acting as a stand-in for the son that Slade regrets never taking the time to get to know better...and here’s Dick, who knew and understood Joey better than just about anyone, certainly better than Slade. Which I personally believe Slade resents and even hates Dick for, for being someone that Joey both trusted and loved when Slade knows that likely wasn’t true of Joey’s view of him.....but I believe its also why Slade has never been able to bring himself to actually try and kill Dick and be rid of his threat to his plans for good....because doing so would be like killing the last real link Slade sees to the son he himself killed by his own hand.

Dick Grayson, for Slade....also happens to be the man who had every reason to not want anything to do with anyone associated with Slade, after Terra broke his trust, because of Slade’s own machinations.....while at the same time...Dick Grayson and his willingness to still extend that trust to Slade’s own son not long after that....are the very reasons that Joey ever had the opportunity to be the hero that Joey had always wanted to be....and that people ultimately remembered him as. There’s a reason Slade wanted Dick to be the one to train his daughter, after all - with the reason he was pissed at Dick for it ultimately being that Dick ended up being better at it than Slade had hoped, and Rose ultimately siding with Dick instead of Slade herself.

And even more importantly, IMO, Slade - even at times when he resents Dick for it at the exact same time - respects Dick for the choices Dick makes. For the precise fact that they aren’t the choices that Slade himself would make, that they’re choices Slade often thinks he couldn’t make.

He doesn’t disdain Dick for his choices or priorities or look down on him for them. Dismiss him because of them. They’re the heart and soul of WHY Slade respects Dick....and the fact that even with those extremely different priorities that Slade often doesn’t agree with...Dick STILL manages to come out the winner in a lot of encounters.

So this Slade Wilson who grudgingly admits that Dick Grayson has potential, but that its stunted and wasted without his own training, and because of the ‘weak, ill-advised’ choices that Dick makes and the things Dick prioritizes.....

Like, that has as little to do with actual canon pre-Flashpoint Slade, as the actual canon pre-Flashpoint Dick has to do with the depiction of him in many of these fics. Where Dick feels hopelessly outmatched and inadequate next to Slade or when facing him, like, he desperately starts praying the second Slade enters the fight cuz that’s the only way he’ll survive....or else he feels naive and dumb, or thinks how foolish he must look to Slade, or how raw or untrained or novice.....not to mention the times he’s focused on viewing Slade as a reflection of Bruce in various ways, or his dynamic with Slade as having anything to do with his dynamic with Bruce.

Again...umm, what? No. That’s not how Dick has ever been shown viewing their relationship either. The times he’s in conflict with Slade, he’s not questioning himself or second-guessing his abilities or praying he survives - he’s usually just PISSED, because of whatever thing has brought him into conflict with Slade this time. And not in that fanfic way where he’s unreasonable or irrational because of his anger and it clouds his judgment...in the way where he uses his anger to hone and focus his skills and just keep him going no matter how many hits he takes. Slade is an opponent whose skills Dick absolutely knows better than anyone else, and by extension respects those skills absolutely - but he is at the same time an opponent Dick has faced many times before, AND WALKED AWAY FROM EVERY TIME.

No, Dick doesn’t take his victory or even his survival against Slade for granted, but he’s not remotely fear-stricken or rendered inadequate by the possibility of failure....he knows that there are no guarantees of success, but by the same token, he’s equally aware that Slade’s reputation is no guarantee of his own failure....with his own track record with the man being proof of that.

And at the same time....when they’re not directly in conflict....Dick does not feel invalidated or naive or dumb when around Slade, because of their age difference. He isn’t suddenly rendered like he feels like he’s a little kid sitting with a grown up. He’s usually just tired. He has as little illusions about Slade as Slade has about him. Dick KNOWS better than ANYONE, just how much Slade doubts and second-guesses his OWN choices, regrets his OWN priorities and decisions at times. So by extension...Dick doesn’t take their encounters OR Slade’s opinion as reason to feel inadequate or second-guess himself? He knows damn well that Slade has a higher opinion of choices that Dick himself even regrets making, than Slade does some of his own decisions.

There’s not this.....gap between them experience wise, not in the sense that Dick can remotely compare to Slade’s much vaster library of life experiences, but rather in the sense that like.....Dick doesn’t care, you know? That’s not the point. Dick’s never comparing himself or his decisions to Slade’s with a measuring stick any time they encounter each other, because each encounter they have is so vastly more weighted by what they both represent to each other, their shared tragedies and personal failures and regrets, and their mutual awareness of these things and what they embody for each other. Dick - just like Slade himself is - is usually too preoccupied being focused on every thing that being around the other brings up for him....to have any mental energy left over for all this other stuff.

Comic book Dick and Slade, for each other, just carry too much knowledge of the life experiences they both have in common, because of their past interactions and shared connections.

Anyway, I will do another post soon about the comic book Renegade arc in particular, because its SO much more interesting than just the ‘Dick was Slade’s student or apprentice’ facsimile that I think people assume it to be. Like, Dick didn’t go to him as a supplicant, and Slade didn’t for a second think he was actually turning traitor. Slade asked him to train Rose in exchange for Slade’s help with his own plans, in part because Slade RESPECTS Dick’s skills as a trainer of heroes, not seeks him as a student for himself....but ALSO as a kind of manipulation - personally, I think he was hoping to use Dick’s inevitable concern and compassion for Rose as a buffer to keep Dick from betraying Slade or tripping him up when he tried.....and of course Dick actually ended up getting ROSE to turn on Slade instead?

But at the same time, its not one sided at all, because there was a particularly clever bit about how Dick faced off against Superman as Renegade, and tried to use his heartbeat to send Clark the message that he wasn’t actually betraying the heroes and not to listen to the words he was saying, but the fact that his heartbeat showed that he was lying....except Slade had ANTICIPATED this, and had rigged the glove of Dick’s Renegade costume ahead of time to be like, wirelessly linked to a remote he had as he watched Dick and Clark’s interactions through the video feed on Dick’s mask.....and Slade used this remote to send wireless signals through Dick’s glove that matched the sound of Dick’s heartbeat and in essence let Slade alter the rhythm of what Clark thought was Dick’s heartbeat....but was actually just Slade literally clicking buttons.

So Dick was getting more and more confused about why even though he was saying all this stuff about being too jaded by the League’s failures and done with heroism, like, why was Clark actually BELIEVING him instead of realizing he was clearly lying from the sound of his heart....and Clark was actively getting more and more upset as he talked and actually trying to FIGHT him and Dick eventually had to flee with Clark actually like.....furious with him, and Dick had no idea why. With this, I think, being one of the things Dick actually full on HATES Slade for the most (and I think what directly motivated Dick getting Rose to turn on her father) - like, Clark has been Dick’s number one support and fan from day one, even when Bruce wasn’t at times. He’s the one person who has pretty much ALWAYS believed in Dick no matter what.

And Slade managed to take that away. To get Clark to literally look at Dick as the enemy. To not believe him, believe in him. Like. That’s something I don’t think Dick has ever forgiven Slade for or ever will.

So yeah. There’s so much more to Dick and Slade’s dynamic than fics represent, and I wish people delved more into this other stuff, because its so much more INTERESTING in my opinion than just like, your usual ‘older supervillain toys with younger outmatched superhero’ or master and apprentice stuff, etc.

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johnnyappleseedtoy · 2 years

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How did Master get me here? Practicing the positions he’s given me at every chance I get so that when he calls it out he doesn’t have to correct me, he can just use me. This picture is me in ‘present’ (like present arms). One of the example pictures he had sent had a sub on a chair like this. I’ve wanted to be fucked on a chair like this for over a decade.

How did he get me talking about my ‘pussy’? Before him, I gave men my ass, but he is taking my pussy and I can’t wait to give it to him. I’ll be a virgin all over again as I wait in the hotel room, in ‘all fours’ position on the bed, pouch for my cock and g-string between my cheeks and over my shoulders like the most minimalist wrestling singlet ever, blindfold on, low back arched to present my new pussy toward the door so he sees my submission and obedience the second he walks in. From there I literally don’t know what he will do. I have some ideas he’s planted but I don’t know. I always know what the first moment will be. Now I don’t know. But I do know that I’ll obey. He knows my few named limits so I know what it won’t be but I’ve also already learned that he will take me to places I hadn’t thought of….and I’ve thought about this stuff a lot!

How just a few days ago was I sitting in Denver Central Market with an app controlled butt (pussy) plug inside me and a man whose face I still haven’t seen was fucking me with it from nearby but unseen by me? He told me to, that’s how. But men have told me to do things I’ve refused before. This man seems to either just know himself so well that I can’t help but obey him or know me well enough to know what I need before I do…or both. I owe him two punishments, which I fear because we’ve talked about the difference between punishments and corrective actions. I think that while painful, I may get some pleasure from corrections, I will not get pleasure, only a deep seated lesson from the punishments. It took me two days longer than I promised to be in that market, my pussy vibrating in alternating pulses being changed by Master. Two punishments. Fuck.

Why is my underwear soaked in pre-cum from stretches during my workout? Because I was imagining the head of his huge (and I don’t say that just to please him or in hyperbole….it’s huge!) cock teasing, penetrating, pounding, owning my pussy as I stretched and my dick, which will remain untouched by Master, leaked all over from the throbbing in my pussy. At some point he’ll let me orgasm myself but I’ve been denied that until we play. I am not to show him my aching, leaking dick in pictures. Tops have always wanted my cock. He doesn’t. He wants my pussy and my obedience.

Why am I already giving up things I’ve denied other Tops? Because they were Tops, he is Alpha. I thought those were interchangeable until I met an Alpha. I have offered him control of every orgasm that doesn’t involve my wife. I offered, and he accepted, that I won’t serve another man without Master’s approval. I’ve agreed to suck the cocks of men he will send me to because Sir will not let me suck his. Those surrogate cocks will not get to fuck me. He said I’ll have a plug in when I satisfy my cock sucking craving, which is strong. I hope it’s the remote app one and he fucks me while the men cum in my mouth.

How? Who gives a fuck!

@johnynyappleseed

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mallowstep · 2 years

Note

They give us a Onestar super edition x_x my God, I'd rather have another super edition that retreads over the entire first series again. Or a Reedwhisker super edition, if they won't do Mistystar! I'd even take a Shadepelt super edition...

i got mixed feelings.

i'm upset because between onestar and mistystar, mistystar has a MUCH more interesting story wrt avos (for a super edition). everything is laid out for onestar. the interest in how it happened is kind of...nothing. it'd maybe make for a good novella, but even that is pushing it.

but just because there's low interest doesn't mean it's a bad story: it's a good story, it's just that there are more worthwhile stories to be telling.

on the other hand, i think yearly super editions are a mistake. there just aren't that many interesting stories to tell.

firestar's quest, bluestar's prophecy, and skyclan's destiny are all three stories we had no other way of hearing. fsq and scd are new, and bsp is expanding massively on a very interesting story from forest of secrets.

crookedstar's promise, yellowfang's secret, and tallstar's revenge are all expanding on hypothetical questions about these three figures from tpb. csp adds something that's unnecessary, but that makes a great story edition; yfs adds something that's unnecessary but bad (even if VERY interesting for fic writing purposes); tsr gives us a whole ass new plot to explain something very minor, and the world is better for it.

and then:

bramblestar's storm is a bad book.

moth flight's vision was a great book, we stan an adhd queen.

hawkwing's journey was good, but unnecessary.

tigerheart's shadow is a book i loved but almost no one else did. i mean i can't say i like everything but it's fun read. anyway, overall it had a mixed impact.

crowfeather's trial, from what i've heard, is pretty decent in terms of how it treats characters, but a terrible plot. i refuse to read it, much as i want more of ashfoot.

squirrelflight's hope is the only warriors book i've ever regretted paying money for.

greystripe's vow is for some reason interchangeable in my brain with the greystripe graphic novel. i haven't read either of them, but my brain tells me i have read his super edition, despite it not having been published when i think i've read it, and so i've also read his graphic novel, and wait the point of this wasn't for me to explain my weird quirk about gsv. uh. anyway i think it's kind of neutral: it added good things while having minimal implications for warriors, other than grey being a dick to squirrel for no reason, but that was already in tbc.

leopardstar's honour, based on my first impressions, will be more in line w csp/yfs/tsr, in that it's...expanding on stories we can piece together by ourselves, but hopefully in a new and exciting way.

again i haven't read it yet please don't put spoilers in my inbox. i'm aware i say this every time i talk about this book however every time i haven't, people have. so. don't do that.

what i'm trying to say is most of the recent super editions haven't had a story to tell. oh, they've found a story, but it's not one we would have otherwise cared about. and that's the problem like.

reedwhisker's fantastic, he doesn't have a story. etc.

#mine #ask #anon

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wornoutmouse · 3 years

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Vampire Momo

Momo Yoayorozu x female reader

Not sure who, but someone requested Momo

(not proof read)

Top Momo

Wearing the lingerie your rich vampire girlfriend gives you is only a given. However, sitting in the middle of your bedroom floor as she stalks around you is a whole new feeling of nervousness. “Sit up straight dear.” You follow as ordered, eyes trained on the ridiculous grandfather clock positioned in front of you. The room was illuminated by candles that would flicker as cool winter wind slipped underneath the doorway.

The first time you had found about Momo’s vast riches, included an old victorian castle, you had laughed in disbelief. Now sitting on a carpet as old as your 4th great-grandmother yet cost more than your entire family, you felt a bit lightheaded. Your skin was exposed in all areas except your breast and buttocks but even that was a stretch.

During breakfast that morning, Momo had left a gift-wrapped box on the table instructing you to open it and wear it all day. You could feel the money dripping off the thin fabric and you almost felt as if you were committing a crime for even touching it. In Yaoyorozu’s eyes, however, she had struck gold.

The red melded perfectly against your skin and wrapped around your curvaceous areas, holding them in place. She could tell you were feeling restless as she walked around you one more time, stopping in front of you. “You look so pretty dear, you can stand now.”

You rise from the floor quickly towering over Momo, but she is not dismayed. A pale hand caresses your skin, cool to the touch but warm to the heart as if follows your neck down before resting on your heart. “Do you like the fabric?” In all honesty, you didn’t even know what fabric you were even wearing so you simply nodded in response. “It’s a bit cheap for my taste but it looks so divine on your skin!”

Momo’s hand leaves your breast before trailing it down to your arm. Raising it, she presses a kiss to your wrist kissing the skin there and smirking when your pulse quickens underneath her lips.

“Are you excited dear?” You nodded again, not trusting your voice at that moment. She chuckled, “You should speak up dear, not saying the right words at the right time can get you into a great deal of trouble.”

You flinch as your wrist is pricked by needle-sharp teeth. It only hurts for a second, but the tugging feeling of your blood exiting your body is one you wouldn’t get used to so quickly. Momo sucks greedily and you watch as her skin flushes a bit more and her hair seemed to darken in the moonlight. Before the blood loss could even begin to affect your body, she pulls away, pulling your arm behind her. Your lips part in a sigh as her’s suck gently on your skin, forming small hickeys.

“Momo.” You gasp her name with no goal in mind. Thin hands grab at your waist pulling your bodies flush against each other as her neck kisses get more aggressive. “I’m sure you taste good in more ways than one.” You feel two of her fingers hook underneath the fabric of your lingerie bottom. Momo tugs it down your legs until she is crouched down in front of you. Your watch her, mouth open in a silent moan while she nibbles on the plane of your stomach. Using an unforeseen amount of strength, she picks you up by your thighs and takes you to another room.

On the way there you find yourself giggling as you card your hand through her hair. Unable to blush in her undead form, Yaoyorozu simply cranes her head into your petting. She sets you down, your body sinking into a plush mattress below you. Momo returns her attention to your lower regions. Your thighs are stroked soothingly by her thumb, Momo teasingly sticks her tongue out at you before bending her head and flicking her tongue against your hole. You sigh content as the beginnings of pleasure flood your veins. “Yes…”

Momo reaches in between her legs as well slipping her fingers in between her folds. She chuckles as your legs flex around her head. Your hips twitch when the pad of Momo’s thumb presses down on your clit. Your pussy gets wetter and wetter the faster Yoayorozu moves her tongue. Her lips smack against your lips as she kisses your clit raising her head to your stomach. A second finger is added as she further stretched you. Her fingers curl scrapping your G-spot making your back arch. “More please!”

“More? You’re being so greedy tonight dear.” Momo purrs as she adds a third finger. Her other hands sped up in unison as she fingered you faster. Your pussy flutters when she pulls her hand away, laughing as she watched your clench around nothing. “Desperate little thing.” She lays on top of you drawing you into a thorough kiss. Teeth and tongue clash together, you grip her hair, grinding your lower body against her lower stomach. You roll yourselves over straddling her waist. Momo stares up at you adoringly as she watches you tie your braids up together. Her hands rub your waist and down your rear.

You bear your pussy down on hers, moaning at the delicious friction of your clits rubbing together. Momo held her chest, making soothing motions against her hardening nipples. “I-I have a surprise for you in the upper drawer.” Momo gently pushes you away so you could go look. Peering inside, you grin when your eyes land on a new toy. Picking it up, you rub your fingers over the detailed bumps and ridges lining the item. It was red with gold and silver swirling throughout the silicon.

“Mmmm, who’s going to use it first?” You walk back to the bed swaying your hips sexily. Momo slapped your rear playfully nibbling on her lip as she looked up at you. “Hmmm, how about I take the lead on this first.” You pouted as Yoatorozu slipped the strap from your hand. She made quick work with the mechanism putting it on faster than you would have. “I still feel silly with this on even after all this time.” You spread your legs, exposing yourself to her. “Yeah but you always know how to use it.” Momo climbs over you kissing you again. “Do you want to lube me up?”

Momo rests on your chest urging you to put the silicon dick in your mouth. You suckle on the tip, ridding your mouth of enough saliva as you could. You brazenly drag your tongue down the shaft before swallowing the cock whole. Even though she had no feeling in the area, Momo moaned softly as she watched your sexy display.

Momo pulled away when she deemed it properly lubed. She was gentle as she prodded your pussy lips, sending unsure looks your way. “Are you ready?” You nodded hurriedly. “I’m so strung up right now I’m not sure if I’ll last long.”

Yaoyorozu grabbed your waist with one hand while the other held the silicon cock. You hissed as it entered you, the combination of your own fluids plus saliva made the glide pleasantly smooth. Momo rocked her hips, watching where you two connected. “How does it feel?” Your arms lay limb beside your head as your body rocked with the motions. Momo was gentle as she made love to you. She watched your facial features as if she was reading a map. Each twitch and shift in your muscles and eyes laid out a pattern that she used to bring you to the peak of ecstasy.

“You look so beautiful like this.” Momo leans down to kiss your neck, “Always so perfect in everything you do.” The praise makes you whine as she just barely bumps against your G-Spot. “Are you going to cum soon?” In your pleasure-filled haze you laugh, “Are you already tired Mo?” She sharply snaps her hips as a retort. Skin slapping together fills the room as the two of you hold each other close. Open mouth kisses get interchanged between the two of you. Nipples rubbing themselves raw with sensitivity as cool and hot air billows over them.

“I’m close, oh my goodness, I’m so close!” Momo moves faster, grinding her hips down on you to give stimulation to your clit as she exerts herself. A series of curses leave your mouth as you bear down on the strap cumming hard around it. Momo gives you time to get your bearings before she’s shyly crawling over your body one again. She abandons the strap and angles her pussy over your face.

You wrap your arms around her thighs and bring her down to your lips. Her pussy was dripping as you stick your tongue deep inside of her. You look up just barely being able to see her face over her voluptuous breasts. Momo grabbed the end of her hair tightly as she grinds down on your chin. “I just...I just n-need a little bit more Y/n, oh, oh, oh!” Yaoyorozu startles you as she wails through her orgasm, legs tightening around your skull. You suck on her clit watching her stomach contort from the overstimulation.

Momo gets off of you when she feels herself unable to hold herself upright. “That was fantastic.” You nod in agreement reaching your hand out to hold her chin. “I love you.” Momo smiles pecking your lips in return. “And I love you more.”

#bnha smut #bnha x black reader #momo x reader #momo x black reader #momo smut #mha imagines

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gingersnapwolves · 3 years

Text

The Untamed, a brief summary [Part 1/6]

Okay my friends, I have heard your calls. Here’s my play-by-play version of The Untamed.

Note the first: I’m dividing it up into sections because it is, after all, a 50 episode series and I doubt anyone will want to wade through it all in one go.

Note the second: I am going to try to be as unbiased as possible. There are different ways to interpret some of the characters’ actions, especially later in the show when things get morally complex. You can find oceans of meta on this stuff, so I will try not to pick a side when at all possible.

Note the third: I’m going to keep the tone pretty light and humorous. This show gets *dark* in the middle but y’all are reading a summary and I don’t want it to get too dry or too depressing. Please pardon me if I am flippant from time to time.

Part One: Sword Wizard School

I thought about doing a character guide but decided it would be easier to introduce you to characters as we meet them, because there are a LOT of characters. However, I am going to give you a brief primer on the important families/places.

Actually, let me back up a little further. The Untamed is a xianxia drama, so it’s about people trying to become immortal celestial beings. They fight monsters and do a lot of magic, and they live in clans/sects. A clan is a family. A sect is a cultivation style/school. The terms are often used interchangeably (even I’m guilty) but they are not exactly the same. Members of a clan will belong to that sect, but the sect will also take in outsiders to train, who are sect members but not clan members.

There are five Great Sects:

Province: Yunmeng; sect: Jiang, home: Lotus Pier

Province: Gusu, sect: Lan, home: Cloud Recesses

Province: Lanling, sect: Jin, home: Koi/Carp Tower

Province: Qinghe, sect: Nie, home: The Unclean Realm (this is not to say it is dirty, it’s from Buddhism and might also translate to ‘The Worldly Realm’)

Province: Qishan, sect: Wen, home: Nightless City/Nevernight (depending on translation)

Here’s a map I made for my fic reference which shows roughly where these provinces are in relation to each other. I may have pretended they were cities in America so I could calculate mileage. Yes I am the world’s biggest nerd, thanks.

H’okay! The show is not in chronological order but I am going in chronological order because the point is to make this simple for you. I’ll admit that I may not get everything 100% correct because it’s been a while since I watched parts of it but I’ll try.

Setting: Caiyi Town, [Gusu]

ENTER A GREMLIN.

Meet Wei Wuxian. He is a 16 year old chaos gremlin with ADHD. He does not look 16 but actors in American dramas pretending to be teenagers also do not look 16 so we’ll let that go. He is with his adopted brother (also 16ish, but younger than Wei Wuxian) Jiang Cheng, and his adopted older sister, Jiang Yanli (probably about 6 years older).

Oh, right. Names. Most characters have two names, a birth name and a ‘courtesy’ name which is a fancy name they get when they’re old enough to get their swords and stuff. They also have titles. For the sake of not driving y’all crazy, I will choose the most commonly used name for the character and stick with it, and then give you a chart at the end so you’ll understand fanfiction.

Wei Wuxian and his siblings are headed to Sword Wizard School in Gusu, hosted by the Lan sect. Wei Wuxian is clearly planning to Be Himself during these lectures, and Jiang Cheng does Not Approve. Jiang Cheng is obviously very serious and concerned with appearances, which makes sense because he is the sect heir. As an adopted son, Wei Wuxian can goof off; Jiang Cheng does not have that luxury. (Wei Wuxian is the son of two of Jiang Cheng’s father’s friends, who died when he was young. More on this later.) Jiang Cheng reminds Wei Wuxian and the other disciples that are with them that they are representing the Jiang sect and they should make a good impression.

They don’t think they can get to Cloud Recesses before dark so they get rooms at an inn.

ENTER A SNOB.

Jin Zixuan is the next fun character you’ll meet. He’s also 16 or thereabouts despite looking 24 at minimum. He is a sect heir to the Lanling Jin and he does not like being near or interacting with strangers. He pays the innkeeper to rent the whole inn and throw any other guests out. Is this a dick move? I’m trying to be unbiased here, so yes. Yes it is.

Wei Wuxian tries to flirt with a couple of Jin Zixuan’s retainers to get them to allow the Yunmeng siblings to stay, but Jin Zixuan decides to be a big jerk about it. Fun fact! Jin Zixuan is betrothed to Jiang Yanli! He is literally throwing his betrothed out of an inn so he doesn’t have to share a building with people. Wei Wuxian gets pissy and picks a fight with him but Jiang Yanli convinces him that he’s not worth it (although she is much nicer about it than any of us would be in her shoes), and they decide to head up to Cloud Recesses despite the time.

But alas! In their haste, they leave their invitation behind.

ENTER AN ICE PRINCE

As the Yunmeng trio try to talk their way past the gate, Lan Wangji arrives. Also 16, he is your classic stoic, repressed gay, and is the younger brother of the Lan Sect leader. With him are a bunch of Lan cultivators and a guy on a stretcher who is clearly in rough shape. The Lan cultivators carry him inside.

Wei Wuxian, pure of heart and dumb of ass, decides that this is a great time to try to talk his way through the gate, figuring that Lan Wangji, being an important person, can let them in. Lan Wangji reacts about how you would expect a stoic repressed gay would to a cute boy flirting with him for the first time: uses a silencing spell on him, tells him he’s absolutely not admitted without their invitation, and locks them out.

Jiang Cheng, who has spent the last 3 minutes desperately trying to get his brother to shut up before he gets them all in trouble, sends him back to town to find the invitation.

Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A SOFT MAN AND HIS EXTREMELY STARCHED UNCLE

Lan Xichen, the head of the Lan sect and Lan Wangji’s older brother, is studying the guy they brought in, with his uncle. Lan Xichen is young for a sect leader (he’s only 19 in the book but probably 24-25ish in the show) and his uncle advises him a lot of the time. The guy they brought is kind of dead but also kind of not. They say a bunch of stuff you won’t understand if you have not seen xianxia dramas before. It’s not really important.

Ext. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

RE-ENTER THE GREMLIN

Wei Wuxian has come back with the invitation to find the rest of his sect no longer waiting outside and all of Cloud Recesses sealed by wards. “Wards are made to be broken,” he says, demonstrating a clear lack of understanding of their purpose. It’s a good thing he’s here for school.

He breaks in, carrying a couple jars of liquor, only to find Lan Wangji standing guard. Lan Wangji reprimands him for breaking important Lan sect rules like a) not breaking and entering, b) not coming in after dark, and c) bringing alcohol, which is forbidden. Wei Wuxian offers him one of the jars because he is 16 and stupid and for some reason thought a bribe was what this situation needed. Lan Wangji pulls a sword on him, which is definitely a reasonable response and not because he has his first boner and he’s angry about it.

They have a sword fight, basically to a draw. Lan Wangji drags him in to see Lan Xichen, who clearly thinks this is hilarious. Wei Wuxian blames everything on Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. He also says intelligent things about the not-a-corpse they’re examining, because the writers wanted us to know that he’s not a whole dumbass. Lan Xichen basically slaps him on the wrist, tells him to behave himself and sends him off to the guest house his siblings were given, and then teases Lan Wangji about Baby’s First Crush.

Ext, Nightless City [Qishan]

ENTER AN OVER THE TOP VILLAIN AND HIS HENCHMEN

Nightless City isn’t actually nightless. It’s just never dark there because it’s on top of a volcano, because that’s where all the cool villains live.

This is the home of the Qishan Wen, who are Obviously Evil from the Black Outfits, Volcano Lair, and Shuffling Zombies. Their leader is Wen Ruohan. His personality is that he is evil. He’s saying a bunch of stuff you won’t understand yet and then sends his Obnoxious Son Wen Chao off to look for something. He also sends Wen Qing, who is related to him somehow, presumably. She asks if she can bring her brother, Wen Ning, and Wen Ruohan says sure because all he cares about is Being Evil in his Zombie Volcano Lair.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A SLACKER and his friend, EVERY RETAIL EMPLOYEE DEALING WITH A KAREN YOU’VE EVER MET.

They’re all at the first lecture, and there’s a ceremony where each visiting sect presents a gift to Lan Qiren (the uncle/teacher). I think we might see what the Jin give him but I don’t care. Right now we’re talking about Nie Huaisang, the younger brother of the sect leader of the Nie sect. He is baby. He has brought a bird to class for no reason other than that he caught it and thinks it’s cool. Presenting to the dour and stern Lan Qiren makes him nervous.

With him is Meng Yao. Unlike everyone else you’ve met so far, Meng Yao is not a member of the gentry. He is the son of the Jin sect leader and a prostitute. (Yes, this makes him Jin ‘I can’t breathe the same air as commoners’ Zixuan’s younger brother.) When he was old enough to do Sword Magic he went to the Jin sect and asked for admittance, and his father had him thrown down a set of 200 steps because his father is an Enormous Douche. (That’s not biased. Hating this dude is one of the few things everyone agrees on.) Then he went to the Nie sect, and they said, “Sure, you can come in, but you’re not really a disciple, mmkay?” and he said sure. But he has worked his way up to being the assistant to the sect leader which is a pretty important position for someone with his background.

Naturally, because Meng Yao is Not Like the Others, a few people take this opportunity to gossip and talk smack about him. Meng Yao is upset but tries not to look it. Lan Xichen takes a moment to reassure him, saying that the Nie sect leader had written to him about what a helpful and awesome assistant he had now, and that Meng Yao obviously lived up to it. Meng Yao immediately develops the world’s Most Obvious Crush Don’t @ Me You Would Too.

ENTER MR. OBNOXIOUS, AN IRON MAIDEN, and A PUPPY. Fortunately these are the last characters you’ll meet for a while.

The Wen sect shows up at the gates of Cloud Recesses like ‘what up, I got a big attitude and fuck you’. The gate dude tells them they can’t come in without an invitation, and Wen Chao attacks him because he was raised in a volcano and they go in anyway. With Wen Chao are Wen Qing and her brother, Wen Ning. They are actually pretty awesome, you just don’t know it yet.

Wen Chao busts in on the Saluting Ceremony just as Jiang Cheng is trying to present their gift, and immediately begins insulting everyone there. You should count yourself fortunate that you’re only reading this because Wen Chao is literally the most obnoxious character in this show. Anyway, Wei Wuxian decides to pick a fight with him even though this is *obviously* a stupid thing to do. (I love Wei Wuxian with my whole heart but he is so stupid at 16 lmao.) He calls Wen Chao out on interrupting Jiang Cheng. Wen Chao reacts completely rationally and calmly BAHAHA who am I kidding, he pulls his sword out. Everyone else pulls their swords out. Wen Qing looks like she has the world’s worst migraine.

Lan Xichen takes out his flute and plays eight seconds of music that makes everyone’s swords go flying into the ceiling. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? Because he is Awesome.

Wen Chao gets even more pissy but Wen Qing shuts him down, saying she and her brother are there for Sword Wizard School and she’s sorry her cousin is such an asshole. Lan Xichen tells them to ‘try to come on time’ tomorrow. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? It bears repeating.

Ext, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Wei Wuxian is making fast friends with Nie Huaisang. They decide to go fishing in one of the streams. He sees Wen Qing sneaking around and asks what she’s doing there. She blows him off.

Meng Yao stops Lan Xichen and says goodbye to him. Lan Xichen asks why he’s leaving so soon, and Meng Yao says that he can’t actually stay for the lectures, since he’s only an assistant to the Nie sect, not a disciple. Lan Xichen tells him that Nie Mingjue (the head of the Nie sect) is just and honorable and will surely reward him for working so hard. They make heart eyes at each other for like a solid thirty seconds before Meng Yao manages to leave. I’m sorry, I’m trying to be unbiased. They gaze at each other longingly – no, shit, that’s still biased. They, uh, regard each other with mutual respect for thirty solid seconds and then Meng Yao leaves.

Meanwhile Jiang Cheng is Fretting about the fact that Wei Wuxian is Making a Bad Impression. He ain’t seen nothing yet. Jiang Yanli calms him down.

Wen Qing talks to her brother Wen Ning and is sad because he’s sick. She promises him that someday they’ll be able to leave Nightless City.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Lan Qiren is lecturing. Wei Wuxian proposes some casual heresy. Lan Qiren gets mad and tells him to copy the Chapter of Conduct a thousand times, and throws him out of class. Jiang Cheng tries to crawl under his desk.

Instead of going to copy lines, Wei Wuxian wanders off and meets A PUPPY, ie Wen Ning. He is practicing his archery. Wei Wuxian proceeds to help him with his stance and Wen Ning looks like he just discovered his bisexuality. Wen Qing sees them together and is clearly not thrilled. Wei Wuxian asks her why she’s always wandering around the back hills of Cloud Recesses and asks if she’s looking for something. She tells him not to be stupid and leaves with her brother.

Lan Wangji drags Wei Wuxian back to the library for his punishment. Wei Wuxian proceeds to spend the next few hours doing Everything That Is Not That, which culminates in him exchanging Lan Wangji’s book for some porn when he’s not looking. Lan Wangji tears the porn up and tells him to piss off.

~romance~

Jiang Cheng: I hope you’re proud of yourself.

Wei Wuxian: I absolutely am.

They go back to their guest house. Wen Qing is there. She’s a doctor! Told you she was awesome. Jiang Yanli wasn’t feeling well and Wen Qing gave her some medicine. They talk about the fact that there aren’t lectures for a few days because Lan Qiren is off doing Official Stuff.

But there’s still fun to be had! There’s a water demon attacking people in the nearby town. Lan Xichen is worried that it’s serious and he’s going to go himself. Lan Wangji goes with him. Wei Wuxian asks if he and Jiang Cheng can go ‘get some practice’ as they fight lots of water demons in Yunmeng. Lan Xichen, remembering his brother’s obvious crush, says sure. Wen Ning wants to go too. So does Wen Qing. Lan Xichen suddenly feels like a chaperone on a field trip but says fine because he’s the cool older brother.

Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to ask questions about the not-a-corpse from earlier. Lan Xichen politely tells him that’s it handled and not to worry about it. Wei Wuxian thinks there’s something he’s not telling him, and he mentions that to Lan Wangji, who agrees but won’t say so. Wei Wuxian can tell anyway because he’s learning to read Lan Wangji’s microexpressions.

They fight a water demon. Jiang Cheng gets injured and Wen Qing patches him up. He looks at her with puppy eyes. Some dumbass loses his sword in the water. Wen Ning tries to help him despite being uniquely unqualified to do so, and passes out. Wei Wuxian tries to rescue both of them, and Lan Wangji ends up rescuing all three of them despite clearly wanting to let the water demon eat them. Jiang Cheng buys a comb to give to Wen Qing but chickens out and doesn’t give it to her. Wei Wuxian deduces that Wen Ning’s illness is because of a previous bad experience with ghostly spirits or something, and gives Wen Qing a talisman to give to her brother that will help protect him from monsters. He says that no matter what she’s looking for at Cloud Recesses, he hopes the talisman will help Wen Ning.

Then he tries to buy Lan Wangji some fruit as a gift. Lan Wangji refuses to look at him. Lan Xichen starts mentally writing wedding invitations.

Ext. Nightless City [Qishan]

ENTER AN EDGELORD (sorry I forgot about him, in fact I think this happened earlier but the timing isn’t really important)

Meet Xue Yang. You have no idea who he is. Wen Ruohan is demanding he hand over something called yin iron. Xue Yang’s response to this is basically ‘choke me harder, Daddy’ and you’re left feeling vaguely disturbed.

Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

It’s party time! Wei Wuxian smuggled some liquor back with him. He, Jiang Cheng, and Nie Huaisang get drunk. They give Jiang Cheng a hard time about his high standards for women.

Lan Wangji comes in like the hall monitor you hated in high school to break it up. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang run away. Wei Wuxian uses a talisman on Lan Wangji to keep him from reporting them and make him take a drink of the alcohol. We all remind ourselves very firmly that he is only 16 and will do stupid shit, despite wanting to slap him. Lan Wangji has never had alcohol before and one drink makes him blackout drunk. Wei Wuxian has to babysit him for the rest of the night. Serves him right.

The next day, they’re all in trouble, even Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian tries to tell Lan Qiren that it’s not Lan Wangji’s fault, but Lan Wangji accepts his punishment anyway. They get hit with a stick a bunch of times.

Lan Wangji goes to recuperate in the cold springs. Lan Xichen, the world’s biggest troll, sends Wei Wuxian to do the same. Lan Wangji nearly has an aneurysm when Wei Wuxian tries to start taking his clothes off.

ENTER THE PLOT

They get pulled underwater and end up in a cave. It’s a magic cave where only members of the Lan clan are allowed to be. To keep the cave from killing him, Lan Wangji wraps his Magic Forehead Ribbon around Wei Wuxian’s wrist. This is the same magic forehead ribbon he told Wei Wuxian ten episode minutes ago that only parents, spouses, and children are allowed to touch. Draw what conclusions you will.

There’s a ghostly lady in the cave who is Lan Wangji’s ancestor. She tells them Evil Is Abroad. A long time ago a dude named Xue Chonghai took a bunch of pieces of metal and filled them full of evil energy. Everyone banded together and killed him, but the metal couldn’t be completely destroyed, so it was split into ‘the cardinal directions’ and then sealed and hidden. Ah ha! This is what Wen Ruohan is looking for! It’s called Evil MacGuffin yin iron.

Wei Wuxian says if it’s so powerful, why don’t they use it to fight back? Ghost lady says she tried that but it’s too evil and it doesn’t work. She gives them the piece that was sealed in the cave and tells them to go fight evil together. Lan Wangji is glad it’s too cold to have a boner.

Except then she throws them out of the cave and onto dry land and Wei Wuxian lands on top of him and he definitely gets one from that. Sorry, Lan Wangji, I don’t make the rules.

They’ve been missing for two days and everyone is really upset, especially Jiang Cheng, who thinks Wei Wuxian was just goofing off.

Lan Xichen takes the piece of yin iron they got in the cave and seals it in a pouch. They discuss the fact that Wen Ruohan is clearly collecting the pieces of yin iron and this is Bad News Bears. The yin iron will respond to other pieces of yin iron so they decide they should use the piece they have to locate the other pieces.

But first, classes are over! Despite the fact that each of these events has led seamlessly into the next and it seems like they’ve been there a week, they’ve actually been there six months. If you dealt with the Teen Wolf ‘timeline’ I assume you can deal with that lmao.

There’s a lantern-lighting ceremony to celebrate. Wei Wuxian paints a rabbit on his lantern because there were a bunch of rabbits in the cave and Lan Wangji clearly likes rabbits. This makes Lan Wangji smile for the first time. They all light their lanterns and make a wish.

Wei Wuxian wishes he can stand with justice and live without regrets. Lan Wangji looks at him like he’s about to propose. Wen Qing wishes she could protect her little brother and that he’ll always be safe. Jiang Cheng looks at her like he’s about to propose. Nie Huaisang wishes he can pass his classes and get the hell out of high school. Truly, the most relatable.

But the moment is ruined because people start teasing Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli, asking why they didn’t light a lantern together and wish for a happy marriage. Jin Zixuan, the paragon of reacting reasonably to things, storms off. He tells his sect members he doesn’t want to hear about the marriage and they should stop bringing it up. Wei Wuxian overhears and they get into a fight. Jiang Yanli manages to get Wei Wuxian to back off.

The next day, Wei Wuxian is being punished for punching a jerk in the face. He is kneeling on the rocks of the courtyard. But he’s already gotten distracted because there’s an anthill and he has ADHD. Lan Wangji calls him ‘unteachable’ and stomps off, clearly mad at his boner like usual.

Because this is kind of important, the two sect leaders have showed up to hash it out. Jiang Yanli’s dad says ‘listen, if your son doesn’t want to marry my daughter, we shouldn’t force him’. Jin Zixuan’s dad says, ‘kids are stupid and they don’t know what they want’. Jiang Yanli’s dad says, ‘well I absolutely agree your son is stupid but he’s being a jerk to my daughter so why don’t we politely call this off before something happens that makes one of us impolitely call it off’, and Jin Zixuan’s dad agrees. Jiang Yanli is upset, although why she actually wanted to marry Jin Zixuan is beyond everyone involved, including the audience. Then again it can’t be easy to hear that some dude who has barely even met you has decided you’re not good enough for him.

Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian sees Lan Xichen telling Lan Wangji ‘be careful’ and correctly deduces that Lan Wangji is leaving with the yin iron to try to find the other pieces, while Lan Xichen stays behind to protect Cloud Recesses since the Wen sect thinks it’s still there. He leaves a note that says ‘gone monster hunting, meet you back at home!’ Jiang Cheng nearly has an aneurysm, especially when his dad is like ‘lmao that kid is such a dumbass’.

~end Sword Wizard School~

okay, guys, what did you think? was this helpful? could you follow it? was it at least vaguely entertaining? should I keep going?

#the untamed #liveblog #of a sort

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