If this Wii Fit board weight & BMI measurements are correct I am at serious health issues risk.

1/11/24

I had great workouts this weekend.

65 min on the stair mill with a weighted vest, 2 days in a row.

And 10 miles on the bike after an hour on the treadmill sunday.Sunday.

The CBD gummies I love do affect my eating, which means I need to cut back on that.

I love the feeling though.

I am surfing thru the work week.

My next weigh in is the 14th.

It is January in the frozen north, I am trying to avoid the normal season depression. The happylight helps. Still taking SamE, and adding in St John's Wort, & happy tea as needed.

I actually feel really good alot. I have had some great days.

It is really hard to believe I am under 200 after so many years of struggle.

I am lighter on my feet, my endurance is better.

And... Idk. Might fuck around and do the Manitou incline for my birthday. I will research Temps & shit.

But I also saw Michael Franti is at Red rocks in May.

I am also trying to save money and get out of debt. So there is that.

UPDATE 9

Hi!! So ok wow, it’s been yet again a lot of time passed since I last posted (exactly a year and week to the date of UPDATE 8 lolllllll).

So A LOT of shiettttt has changed so I’ll just begin:

-I kinda moved to new york city and got my dream job. The dream job I was devastated about not getting and posting about this time last year- HOLY SHIT. I always felt like in my heart it was supposed to/going to happen but it hadn’t allllllll the other (5 times) i applied and I told myself when applying the time I got it that it would be my last time bc i just needed to move on and... i got it. HOLY SHIT. -Although it was not as fast as I would have liked for it to have been, I’ve lost 21lbs in the last year- TWENTY ONE. Last June I weighed in at 195 again and as of THIS MORNING I’m 174.5. I NEED to keep it off this time. I WILL keep it off this time. -While i definitely do still suffer from anxiety, body dysmorphia and depression, I overall feel like things will work out this time. THEY WILL. -I miss my family (who live back on the west coast of the usa) more and more and more every single day. But I’m getting through it. The tide has been high but I’ve been holding on. -Diet Coke by Leanna Firestone is my anthem, my church, my everything and I feel v grateful to that song. -I miss my old coworkers bc while I have my dream job at my dream company I realized since being here that a lot of the glamour was built up in my head and it’s HARD to find a group of strangers bound together by work who are supportive and wonderful and funny and genuinely care about you. So when you have that/find that, TREASURE IT! Because it’s temporary. and compared to my last job, the new jabronies I work with aint shieeeeeeeet (:). -Finally I had a stellar 4th of July in The Washington Dictrict of Columbia with two of my favorite people and it was sooooooo needed.

That’s what I have in terms of updates which is pretty major: now looking towards the future!!

I get to see my mom and brother in 13 days and I could cry, i’m so happy. and i get to see them two weekends in a row!!!

AND THEN i’m meeting my family at wdw for a couple days and were gonna ride all the rides including COSMIC REWIND AT EPCOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t believe that last time I updated I hadn’t rode that ride yet........ wow what last July me didn’t even know what she was missing. Srsly if you haven’t rode that ride before ur missing out, i’ve never had that kind of serotonin boost before ever in my life.

Finally, I’m attempting to Chloe Ting again and become a runner (pray 4 me).

That’s it for now, but I forgot how good it feels to literally write this shit down even if -14 people read this. IT”S MY JOURNEY AND THIS IS FOR ME :’).

P.S. I need to pick up a library card- I signed up for one in March and haven’t gotten it yet. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME.

P.P.S. My love life (or last there of) is a disaster but what else is new. At least I’m getting my hair braided for the first time in a few decades and I’m v excited!!!!!

Now that my favourite rapper is +40yo I know how Millenials feels about Snoop Dogg

I have a little more than a year until I'm thirty.

During 2022 a I had a lot of stress and even a mental breakdown which caused me to gain quite a bit of weight. I apart from it causing me mental discomfort due, I also hate that it takes me less and less to get tired, I'm not as flexible and get quickly out of breath. The 30th birthday symbolises to me some body changes, as it might not be a direct science, but it will mean that if I don't do anything, my body will get weaker more quickly.

This year I'd like to continue on working and training my mind to be better to myself and at the same time, include the physical aspect to be better for myself. I will most likely need some motivation and support for this

Whatever it is that you need to do that will serve your healing and growth, this is your sign!

You deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve to put in the work and effort to achieve your goals and dreams.

You deserve to be your best self and to live your best life, starting right now ✨

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

Savor or Suffer? Convenience vs. Nutrition - Finding a Balanced Bite

Fast food has become a popular dining option for many people, offering convenience and quick service. With a diverse menu of ready-to-eat meals, fast food restaurants cater to a wide range of tastes and preferences, making them a convenient choice for busy individuals.

However, concerns about the nutritional value and health implications of fast food consumption have arisen, as many fast food options are high in calories and low in nutritional content.

Efforts to promote healthier alternatives and provide transparent nutritional information are underway to encourage more balanced eating habits and improved overall well-being.

Daily Writing Prompt: Dream Job

What's your #dreamjob ? Mine can seem like a waste, but it actually just wants to #repurposewaste . Read about my trajectory of #dreamjobs on my new #blog post. #writing #writerscommunity

Bloganuary writing promptWhat’s your dream job?View all responses Choosing a dream job changes throughout your life. It’s like navigating a maze with changing paths, each turn revealing new aspirations and passions. It’s a moving target that evolves with age, experience, and the discovery of one’s true passions. Reflecting on my own trajectory, I find myself looking back at my initial dream job,…

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the machine.

a comic about being a 'creator' online.

creative notes:

If I was to post various things about my weekly workouts, would people actually want to know about it? Plus I need to figure out a tag name to use if so, just don't know what to call it.

10/7/23

The Wedding Day

-2 workouts yesterday!! And had a great day. Fasted until right before the rehearsal dinner, had a high protein snack before. NA cocktail in the bath after workout.

-had a nice bath; enjoying the solo time in my hotel.

-didn't oversleep.

-have my ex's sister with me for the primping.

-ran into the old friend in the hallway of the hotel. It is weird, she hasn't talked to me for quite awhile. But I mean, she is together/not-together with my ex.

-I had a protein breakfast. Plus coffee. Saved the fruit and oatmeal for later.

-ready to slay the day: getting hair & makeup done. Fancy dress. Wedding excitement.

-We are basically prepping for the reception and everything. Decorating. I am making myself useful.

UPDATE 8

Wow! So it’s been almost 2 years (like literally almost to the day) since I posted "Update 1″, and boy oh boy did a lot of shit happen.

- I went back to work - I never got that internship that woulda changed my life (oh well) - I’ve gotten to travel way more than I woulda thought possible 2 years ago (not the traveling itself, I love to travel and have access/ability to but moreso in terms of the pandemic/state of the world) - I still don’t have a great grasp on my depression. I know I have it. I know. And its definitely a rollercoaster but shit triggers me and idk what to do ya know? I end up feeling like a zombie. - I almost got my dream job. But didn’t. When I say dream job, I mean I have literally been dreaming about it since I was 12 or 13 years old. I reapplied when a reopening was posted but I think I’m just not meant to be. Like that scene in La La Land (god I love La La Land, like its my favorite movie of all time kinda love) when Mia is explaining that maybe her dreams will never pan out bc maybe shes not good enough? Or maybe she’s just one of those (many) people who has always wanted something but its just a pipe dream that needs to be moved on from. Its not like thats what I want, but its whats realistic and you cant be disappointed if your expectation is disappointment, ya know? - My sister moved out and I’m really happy for her but things seem to be happening for her and other people and it feels like everyone around me and I’m just stuck??? I’m not sure theres a better way for me to explain it other than that. Its no ones fault, but everyday of my adult like theres this slight, nagging feeling that my life is simply one long series of unfortunate events. And yes, good things are woven in and its not like everyday is some big, unbearable catastrophe but some days definitely are. I really don’t know how else to explain it. I think its beyond depression. I’d never hurt myself or someone else but I had this shit realization the other day that I don’t remember the last time I was like really, truly, unbelievably happy (not just with one thing, or day, or event) but like GENUINELY happy in life. And I don’t know that I ever will be again. Idk I sound so shitty rn. - I hate my job but love the people. I also have no other options in life it feels like. WHAT DO I DO?!

Anyways the absolute lunacy of the bullets above, I’m trying to move on in/through life as well as possible. And I wanna become better. In all facets. I gained a lot weight back. Which makes me angry and disappointed. My highest ever was 197 and the other day I was 195 again. Again. Can you believe that shit? My family while I love them are bad influences and have been for a really, really long time. I feel like I just give in bc 1) their expectation is that I’m fat and thats never gonna change so who are you kidding and 2) were all doing it (eating and being fat) so who cares? and 3) its like they think im judging them or being unfair to them when I wanna better myself. Idk. Its not intentionally malicious but the consequences feel dire.

SO ANYWAYS!!!!!!!! God I need to learn to shut up. I’ve lost 3lbs in the last week and back to 192. Slowly making progress but FOR REAL THIS TIME. And I know I said that last time, but circumstances are different and theres no more excuses.

On that note I’m gonna go to Safeway rn and go buy some fruit bc I’m hungry and if I wanna eat thats what I’m gonna let myself eat. I know I shouldnt starve but also eating like a piggly wiggly has so far gotten me no where.

I’m gonna end this here. This is therapeutic for reezie and I feel better just reflecting on this insane rambly episode I’ve just had. Yall pray for me for reezie and I shall be doing the same. LETS STOP WEIGHTING FOR CHANGE YALL!

P.S. My cat keeps walking across my chest and around the room yapping to be let out but I don’t get why he doesn’t get that I love him too much and I wanna be around him 24/7 bc he makes me feel better. But also he’s a cat and a dummy at that so I guess I should be happy he spends any time indulging me at all.

P.P.S. I, like the rest of the world, am in the middle of a Stranger Things Binge and volume 2 of ST4 was released today. V1 was released at the end of May but I waited til now to watch bc I wanted to rewatch and I wanted to be able watch all of ST4 at once and not have to wait which was deff the right call. I started V1 yesterday and finished it this morning and am now on ep 8 of 9 and idk WHAT I woulda done if I woulda had to wait a month to continue, like fuckkkkk that lmao. But anywho I’m gonna continue but I want some fruit to have so I’m gonna finish the other half of ep 8 and then ep 9 when I get back from the store (also holy shit ep 9 is apparently 150 mins???? thats 2 and 1/2 hours thats a fucking movie bro!!!!) but yeah. I’m lowkey stressed to finish it though bc 1) i lowkey dont like this whole steve/nancy plot. I know a lot of ppl do but I really like her w jonathan so yeah. and 2) I’m scared Eddie will die. He’s a really great character and I think hes really cute and its not fair that the worst has been assumed of him. I relate to that. I know some major character is expected to die in these final two eps and I really hope its not him, but also I really hope they were just lying to us bc I literally dont want anyone to die. I mean mike is prob my least fav but still i love mike and dont want him to die. also theres no way in hell theyd ever kill off finn wolfhard so thats an unrealistic expectation anyway. So heres to eddie, steve, and all those mfers bc I really do love this show and these crazy ass characters. But most of all, to my fav character, erica. BC YA CAN’T SPELL AMERICA WITHOUT ERICA BITCHHHH.

Not a Doctor But

Not a Doctor But

The latest tests results are now on my medical chart page. I’ve read over this several times trying to make sure I was reading them and comprehending them correctly. Yesterday’s visit came back with three different test results. My arteries are clear no blockages in any …if I am reading the results correctly. Creatine was in normal levels. There was something mentioned about lymph nodes and one…

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This is Ditzy Doo’s strongest warrior speaking, how may I help you

I'm a simple girl.

Yes. I want to be healthy and flexible and strong. I truly 100% do.

But I also want to look cute in a pretty dress for my Valentine's Day dinner date 🥺🌹