#garlic for wiches
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#satanism#garlic for wiches#gothic#dark fantasy#infernal gods#lillith#666 satan#ave luciferi#naoqueimaramtodas#conhecimento#satanic#sabedoria#sagradofeminino
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Doğru kişiyi hayatınıza çekme rehberi
Eminim ki çoğunuz hayatınıza giren bütün toxic (zararlı) ilişkilerinizdeki partnerlerinize '' doğru kişi değildi'' etiketini yapıştırmışsınızdır, peki nedir bu doğru kişi? Kimdir? Özellikleri nelerdir? Hayatımıza ideallerimizdeki doğru kişiyi çekmek için ne yapmalıyız? Bu bölümde bu konular hakkında konuşacağız <3
Doğru kişi aslında kimdir?
Cevabı aslında çok basit sizin 4d'niz* ( *4d sizin manevi dunya olarak gecmektedir, butun arzulariniz ve istekleriniz gerceklestigi yer diyebiliriz) de ki arzuladığınız hayalinizdeki, ideallerinizde ki kişidir. Örneğin sizin bir ilişkide partnerinizden beklentileriniz size karşı ilgili olması, size çokça değer vermesi vb. gibi şeyler olduğunu varsayalım. Sizin bir ilişkiden beklediğiniz şeyler zaten bunlar olduğu için bu özelliklere sahip olmayan kişiler size doğru kişi olarak gelmez, illa bir kusur bulup hayatınızdan uzaklaştırırsınız (ki siz bu kişileri hayatınıza alsanız bile sağlıklı ve her iki tarafından memnun olduğu bir ilişki yürütmeniz oldukça ihtimaldir, çünkü bu kişi aslında sizin istediğiniz özelliklere sahip değildir.) Bazen karşımıza ideallerimizdeki kişinin birkaç özelliklerine sahip kişiler çıkar yanlış bir algıya kapılıp "bundan daha iyisini mi bulacağım" "herkes benim ideallerimdeki gibi olamaz zaten" diyerek kendinizi avutursunuz oysaki bu cümlelerin haklılık payı %0'dır. Çünkü evren sizin için çalışır sizin arzularınızı/isteklerinizi gerçekleştirmek için vardır, size hizmet eder. bu yuzden umutsuzluga kapilmayin, akisa birakin♡
Doğru kişinin özellikleri nelerdir?
Aslinda bu oldukca kisisel bir konu?? tamam simdi bunun bir manifesting yazisi olmadigini varsayalim. Mesela bana cekici gelen bir kisi sana karsi gelmeyebilir, ki bu oldukca normaldir!! Her insanin guzellik algilari standartlari bir kiside nelere onem verdigi degisken gostermektedir ve bu yuzden suan bu yaziyi okuyan sizler icin dogru kisinin ozelliklerini madde madde veremicegim. Elbette bazi seyler iliskide olmazsa olmazlarimizdan olabilir, ornegin sadakat durust olmasi gibi gibi
Son olarak!! Hayatımıza "o" doğru kişiyi çekmek için ne yapmalıyız?
E bundan kolay sorumu var?? Zaten sen bu yaziyi okurken bile hayatina cekmis bulunuyorsun. Yinede dahada kesin seyler elde edebilmeniz icin onerebilcegim bir kac teknik var
Oncelikle evrenden ne istediginiz konusunu kesinlestirin
Daha sonra istediginiz kisinin ozelliklerini bir kagida,telefonunuzun notlar kismina vb herhangi bir yere yazin. Dilerseniz daha sonda kagidi yakabilirsiniz size kalmis!!
Ve daha sonra bol bol olumlama yapin eger sadece yazip olumlama yapmak inancinizi guclendirmiyorsa bu kisiyi aklinizda da hayal edip, onunla ilgili anilar/olaylar imajine edebilirsiniz
Adi,yasi,gorunusu hersey size kalmis, unutmayin bu sizin gercekliginiz istediginiz/arzuladiginiz her sey 4d de mumkundur 3dye bagli kalmayi birakin♡
— Evet iste bu kadar, akisa birakmayi ve surekli ne zaman gerceklesicek gibi surekli dusunmeyi birakin evren size en dogru zamanda en dogru kisiyi hayatiniza dahil edicektir! bundan supheniz olmasin, sevgiyle kalin♡
#manifestation#coquette#manifesting#subliminals#manifesation#angels numbers#1111divinelight1111#angel number 444#angel number 555#angel number 666#angel number 777#wicthcraft#wicthes#real bitch#garlic for wiches#possitivity
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Hi! Are your requests open? If they are I'm just gonna leave this here, Neteyam, Ao'nung, Lo'ak (sperate) x OmaticayaGnReader who is sick, like flu for the na'vi or something like that, they have a fever and the chills and everything could it also be fluffy and absolutely adorable
--- personal doctors ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
neteyam, ao'nung, rotxo (seperated) x gn!metkayina!reader
you catch a cold, its time for your lover to take care of you
a/n ; im not good at writing lo’ak, so i bring you rotxo instead! i hope you dont mind<3
: ̗̀➛ neteyam
realizes your sickness even before you did
when you first sneeze or cough, his mind goes straight to the day before, recalling any peculiar food you've had
neteyam would notices too, when you pause between chores to massage your forehead
he will take over cleaning. making sure every corner is clean so you won't sneeze from the dust. he also makes sure you stay hydrated and even whips you up nutritious meals until your condition got better. usually, the fever never got up to you
but when it does, he goes in full momma mode
this man grows with 3 younger siblings, caring for someone is natural for him. he would stay by your side, whispering your name every few hours to wake you up, so he could feed and help you drink
neteyam might not be the best healer, like her sister, but he can make certain herb drinks
makes you ginger tea regularly to warm up your shivering body
you tend to get all sort of nightmares from your sickness, but dont worry, you’re waking up to neteyam since he’s cuddling you all night long. he will run his slender fingers through your hair, whispering comforting words to your ear
“everything’s okay, dear. i’m here”
we all need neteyam in our lives:(
_
: ̗̀➛ ao'ung
acts like he doesn’t care, but the moment your temperature starts to rise, he brings his mother straight to you
the tsahik would probably do nothing. she tell him to go ask kiri for some herb tea, and to make sure you drink and eat well, since fevers could heal by itself
but mans stressed
would refuse to let you lift a single muscle. he will be the one helping you change, wipe your face to keep you fresh, feeding you
since he’s not the best cook, he would ask tsireya to make you soups, wich she happily does. she makes great food, but your tongue tastes sour and your appetite is no where to be found
so ao'nung scolds you
“quit acting like a baby and please, just eat”
you know ao’nung. none of his scolding are anger, he’s just extremely worried.
watching you go to sleep after being scolded makes him feel like a villain. he would join you in bed and whispers an apology. gently bringing you closer to his chest as the both of you fall asleep
remember he's a worrier? it makes him act too much like a mom. he will insist on taking care of you, even when you're feeling better. will only stop until he's sure you're 100% healthy
ao'nung is a big softie
_
: ̗̀➛ rotxo
most clueless compared to the other 2
pls dont be mad, its not his fault
something tells me he’s an only child, a one that rarely got sick too, so he doesn’t know anything about caring for ill people
rotxo might be confused, but he’s not an idiot
the moment he touches your forehead and realizes you're scorching hot, rotxo instinctively wraps a fluffy blanket around you. the man will make you drink a lot of water, and went off running to the sullys
“what the fuck?”
“sorry lo'ak! its an emergency!”
he got home with omaticayan food wraps in hand. you’re too sick to say anything, so when he lifts your head to feed you, you don’t protest
the one thing that scares you the most is that his jokes completely disappears
all his stupid jokes, gone.
not in a bad way, this man is just so dedicated on you that he stops joking around. he cannot stand that you're feeling all sick and uncomfortable and wants you back to your healthy self
this man is so serious, even when he tried feeding you raw cloves of garlic
one time, he heard kiri saying that garlics are ‘good for boosting the immune system’
he’s not wrong😭😭😭
but kiri hits him on the head once she founds out
instead of feeding you raw garlic, she gives you a mix of aged garlic and honey as medicine such an asian mom move
he feels bad afterwards, would kiss your entire face despite your protest
the next day, you wake up feeling fresh. but your lover boys voice got so hoarse from sore throat and complains about his sore limbs
yes, he got your fever and yes, he never regret kissing you, even when you're sick
#avatar#avatar the way of water#neteyam#neteyam x reader#aonung#aonung x reader#rotxo#rotxo x reader#sick reader
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There is: (i got too excited and it's a bit long sorry)
What kind of brazillian foods/drinks the mercs would like the most
Scout:
He would love any kinds of street foods, his favorite ones would be coxinha, a fried snack stuffed with chicken; Hot dogs in the São Paulo way, they usually have mashed potatoes, corn, peas and shoestring potatoes above (with ketchup and mustard, of course) and pastel, a fried dough (the texture is similar to a puff pastry) that can have many kinds of fillings, the most usual one is mozzarella cheese. He also would love eat this while drink sugarcane juice (it's a classical combo).
Soldier:
This one is funny, bc in my head all the other mercs had to lie to him that they were getting 100% american food so he could at least try some, and he keep eating it without knowing the thruth.
His favorite ones would also be ones of the most iconical ones, by irony of the destiny, such as feijoada and pão de queijo. He would also love farofa (is made either with corn or cassava, braised with oil and can have diverses other igredients too) but since Soldier is build diferently, insted of eating it as a side dish he just cook a huge ass pan of farofa and eat all of it with a spoon.
Pyro:
He would love brigadeiro, because is sweet as him (awwn). He would love churrasco (brazilian barbecue), so much that he, engineer and sniper would be the ultimate churrasqueiros of the team (however only engineer and sniper are alowed to touch on the grill since the incident). From the many things that can be made in a churrasco, Pyro likes garlic bread the most (because it gets burned at outisde really quickly but still ok to eat). The last thing from his list would be cuscuz paulista, recipe that blend corn flour and many other igredients, and that people from other brazilian states keep saying its ugly but THATS UNTRUE YALL JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT - me, a sad paulistana.
Engineer:
As said before, he would love churrasco, and any kind of red meat should be his favorite (picanha, striploin…). He would also like the local beer options and condensed milk pudding (pudim). No special rasion on the last one (besides giving all the mercs at least 3 itens).
Demoman:
He would LOVE drinking cachaça (alchoolic drink made with sugarcane) and caipirinha as well (drink made with cachaça, lime, sugar and ice). For eat, his favorite food should be torresmo (pork skin with fat cut into small pieces and fried until crispy), that is also a good side dish in brazilian bar's.
Heavy:
His first favorite option would be estrogonofe, wich is actually a brazilian version of a russian recipe (stroganoff), with some alterations. He would also enjoy virado à paulista (plate composed of a beans and cassava flour mix, together with pork chop, tuscan sausage, fried egg, braised cabbage and a piece of breaded banana), it's a really big meal to a really big guy. Finally, he would go for "caipiroska" for drinking, with is a caipirinha variation but with vodka in the place of cachaça (wich i didn't know existed until i started writing this kkkkkk)
Medic:
Cuca de banana (a cake with bananas and a sugar & cinnamon on top) would be one of his favorite desserts (it also has a germanic origin i also didn't knew kkkkkk). He also would like specific foods from Bahia, such as Acarajé (dumpling made from black-eyed pea dough, onion and salt, and fried in palm oil, can be stuffed with shrimp or other options of filling) and cocada (candy made with coconut), but I can't specify why yet bc it envolves a headcanon/AU i'm still making and i want it to be a silly surprise, i'll edit here once it's done.
Sniper:
The last one of the ultimate churrasqueiros, his favorite item would be chiken's hearts. Aparently pumpkings are very used in australian culinary, so i like to imagine he would also like doce de abobora (dessert made with pumpking). Finally, i guess tapioca (cassava gum, can be fried like a pancake and stuffed to taste, among other uses) just suits him idk.
Spy:
He would love Carolina (looks like a éclair, but is smaller, rounder, and filled with dulce de leche) and sonho (fried dough, usualy filled with vanilla cream and with sprinkled sugar above. The name of this recipe translate to "dream" in a literal form btw kkkkk). Ending this list, Spy would enjoy queijo com goiabada (a slice of minas cheese thogeter with a slice of guava paste).
Thank you for reading until here, and sorry if i made you fell hungry hihihi
holy shit this is so good
also i want carolina that looks so good
i also want the sugarcane drinks, please god i’ll do anything
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After waiting in line @francolinisnola for almost two hours on Sunday, taking photos was not my priority. I was hungry before I got there, so by the time "The Underdog" reached my hot little hands, all I wanted to do was get it in my mouth. Thinly-sliced mortadella piled oh-so high with sharp provolone on house made focaccia smothered in Italian salsa verde, sweet pickled garlic 🧄 and spicy pickled rabe stems. All I could think about while inhaling this monster 'wich was how much my dad would have loved it.
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Do you like making paperteeth more or triptrack?
And out of both of them wich character is your favorite?
triptrack is easier to draw because the page format is still my fave. paperteeths art is a little bit of a struggle atm bc im less used to it. (i think its picking up where im at in episodes, like garlic bread era + bbq but scarlets house part is like sooo ugly im sad abt it poor scarlet hit with the scribble beam) i am a scroll format hater for sure i liked being able to see all my panels at once and working on them all at the same time.
i think my fave character atm is avery bc shes fun to draw and shes awful which is fun to write. like she sucks so much. why is she like that.
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Cheap Meals
So, I've got to shopping today because my fridge is literally empty. And I googled cheap meals to kind of inspire me and try not to buy the same five things every single week.
But whenever I do this I'm reminded how the word "cheap" is not always the same. And how often times cheap also means extremely high effort which isn't compatible with many lifestyles as well as people struggling with mental illness or physical illness...
So here are the meals that got me through some really difficult times (these meals aren't all healthy, they are simply healthier than skipping meals constantly which is what I did for a long time):
1.- Popcorn, where I live three bags cost one euro, that's 33 cents a meal that is hot, has flavour and just needs throwing in the microwave. Perfect to stop yourself from skipping a meal.
2.- Humus. A cheap blender, preferably the type uses for making juice is honestly the best thing ever. For humus you just throw chickpeas (I always use jarred) into said blender with whatever spices you like (I usually do salt, pepper, comino and curry powder), you blend and done! It can be eaten with nachos, on toast, or just on it's own. Takes five minutes is super cheap.
3.- Eggy bread, (basically French toast without the cinnamon) you just throw some egs in a bowl, mix them, add spices, dip the bread in and throw onto the pan. Takes barely any time, good hot meal, cheapest thing ever.
4.- Toast, obviously, having just some jam at home that can be spread onto some toast is another good way to avoid skipping a meal.
5.- Porridge, oats are super cheap, you just mix them with some milk, throw in the microwave and ta-dah! I add honey because honey is super cheap here but I know some areas it's more expensive, I've also added bananas when they're in season.
6.- Roasted vegetables, the other day pumpkins were cheap so I grabbed one, cut it in half threw it in the oven and that's that. Three meals ready to go. You can do a bunch of different vegetables, add spices or don't, do whatever works for you. Fried vegetables is also good but that requires a tiny bit more attention.
7.- Salad. People underestimate salad, at home you have full control, the other day I had glass noodles with cucumber and soy sauce. It was easier to make than pot-ramen and super healthy and tasted great. Sometimes I do pasta salad by making the pasta the day before and leaving it in the fridge (usually I make a pasta meal and just set some aside), russian salad is also amazing and super cheap.
8.- Vegetarian wraps, I just buy the frozen already chopped peppers form my supermarket, I fry them with a seasoner for burritos and then throw them into some wraps, cheap quick and delicious.
9.- Cereal, this is within the toast and popcorn area, just worth having around for when depression is high.
10.- Ramen but not ramen? Obviously, the pots of ramen are really expensive if you are dirt poor, but most supermarket sell noodles and chicken broth wich is the same thing. You just boil the noodle in the broth, I usually do this until their is no broth so it's not really ramen but to each their own. Make it extra amazing by adding a few more spices and an egg. Cheap, five minutes, delicious.
11.- Carbonara or bolognaise: just spaghetti (or any other pasta it doesn't really matter), for bolognaise I do tinned tomato, some onion, some garlic (depended on the season it'll be fresh or frozen), and if I have a bit of extra cash I add meat, but mostly my meals are vegetarian. For carbonara (this isn't proper carbonara but it works) I just do cooking cream, mushrooms, sometimes onion and again, if I have the money, bacon.
12.- Pizza bread, or pizza really. Just throw some tomato, cheese and ham on a piece of bread and put it in the oven. You can add or remove ingredients. If you have the time, flour and water makes dough to do proper pizza but you need to leave it to raise and I know I rarely think that far ahead.
13.- Toad in the whole, basically you mix water, flower and egg to make a pancake like batter, add some salt, put it in an oven friendly bowl or whatever, throw in some sausages (though I've done this without the sausages plenty of times), you get a bread, pancake, kinda thing and if you added sausages the juices make it taste extra good.
BONUS DESSERT: Cartwheels, basically you buy a pack of digestive biscuits and a bad of marshmallows, you put one marshmallow on one biscuit, put in the microwave for literally 10 seconds or less, when the marshmallow expands you place the other biscuit on top and voila! Super fast, cheap because you get lots of them out of those packs, warm.
Also, if you's feeling a bit depressed hot beverages are the cheapest treat I consistently get myself, like nice teas if you count the price per cup is super cheap but makes me happy. I also have like a pot of instant caramel cappuccino and some nice hot cholate powder.
Anyway, if you're struggling right now, good luck, the world is a mess right now and we just kind of have to trudge through that mess. Feel free to add anything that helped you through hard times because everybody has their own experience.
And again, most of these are not healthy, but sometimes you're just surviving and trust me, this is so much better than fainting because you haven't eaten in too long.
Good luck.
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Hannah, as someone who has sold a few things to actual vampires:
vampires are not alergic to garlic (only Dracula is, he gets indigestion from garlic)
vampires do not sparkle
vampires can be seen inside mirrors unless they are made out of a special silver truesilver ectoplasm alloy.
Mirror wich I have for sale, so you can check once and for all if Fenton is a vampire. Just 200 dolars, free shipment
Thank you for the information!
I am absolutely getting that mirror
#unreality#amity park#danny phantom hannah#dp hannah#danny fenton#danny phantom#the-ghost-trader#danny phantom roleplay
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Something just occured to me about vampires
What hurts them:
garlic
sunlight
running water
What all these things have in common? The garlic is a disinfectant and was used to preserve food. The UV light of sun is excelent against bacteria and mold. Everyone knew that you cant drink from still water beacuse you will get sick, only from running streams, and clean water is also used to treat injuries and prevent infection.
So what if vampires back in the day were also metaphores/representations of desease wich is why stuff used to prevent sickness can also used against them.
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sandwich is as follows: ground beef, seasoned however u like (i used cumin/oil-preserved red peppers, salt, pepper, garlic, and i dont remember what else. meat loaf seasonings would work well.) then toast the bread a little and spread a solid layer of meat on one slice of bread raw. put cheese on the other side and put in the oven/toaster oven and bake. then theres the slaw which was. pretty standard. cabbage carrots radish (cause i had em) mayo pickle juice hot sauce chili powder salt pepper cumin i think. if i remember. its mostly a "go nuts" situation but idk how u r with seasoning shit on the fly
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so so so so so so much!!!!!!!!! sand wich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#food#yippee!!!!! thank you for the recipe jack this sounds so so so so good!!!!!!!!!#answered#carfuckerlynch
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Hi there! I made a whole wheat bread❤️it turned out amazing so I thought I would share it with you!
The recipe base is from kalcirecept.hu
https://kalcirecept.hu/teljes-kiorlesu-kenyer/
But I added some of my own ideas:
Whole wheat bread:
🟣500 g of whole wheat flour
🟣100 g of wheat gluten (to raise its protein level)
🟣10 g /or a teaspoon of salt
🟣250g fresh yeast
🟣350 ml of mineral water/or any water but chlorine in tap water kills the yeast (i put in a little less because i also added yoghurt wich is not dry either)
🟣30 g of oil-any oil will do this time I used some olive oil
🟣1 tablespoon of greek natural yoghurt (for taste)
🟣A small clove of garlic (I minced it)
🟣Some caper berries (it gives it a nice taste I promise)
With all this: 40 gramms of this bread is 105 kcal, 13 gramms of carbohydrates and 7,9 gramms of protein
1.9 gramms
--------✍️----------
You could add more spices and flavouring according to your liking! I know simple whole wheat bread can be pretty boring or tastless but if you add flavouring you will come to like it!
You mix the flour with the wheat gluten and the salt. Then make a little hole in the mixture and break the yeast to tiny bits and add a pich of sugar or a bit of honey to help the yeast.
You make sure the water is not too cold or too hot because of the yeast-->you need warm water
You put in the water, the yoghurt the flavours, the oil and start to mix it till it all combines and stays together, and let it sit in a warm place for 20 minutes covered with something flanel or dishclothe
Then you gently knead it over a little bit and let it rest for 20 minutes
Then you put it on a tray or a mold or something you can put in the oven. Make make cuts on the top of it then turn on the oven to
230°C and let it rest for 20 minutes
Before putting it in sprinkle it with some water.
In the oven I had it for 20 minutes of 230°C then I turned on the fan covered the top of it because it was burning a little bit and turned down the heat to 200°C for 25-30 minutes
#bread #breakfastideas #healthylifestyle #healthyfood #caloriecounting #diet #healthy #healthyfood #pcos #pcosfighter #keepgoing #foodsofinstagramm #wholefoods
#baking bread#food#yummy#healthyfood#Protein#yummy food#food things#healthy#healthydinner#healthylifestyle#recipes
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Blog 2022, Miniature Magick Project (In lieu of Halloween 2019)
Hi All!
Hope this finds you in good spirits, and that life’s being kind!
I rarely look at posts once they’ve gone out for pertinent reasons, as some ought to’ve had a disclaimer: MAY DIFFER TO DESCRIPTION ON BOX. I refer to ‘Michael Angelo’ (Haven’t got round to ‘is sister Angelona Jolie yet… Squirm!),
‘The Devine Comedy’ ( Madre Mia!), etc.
Because it’s somewhat long, I have divided the storyline for ‘The Druidess’ into three parts.
Part One (The Temple)
Part Two (The Dwelling)
Part Three (The Haunting)
The imagery in the first part (following this note) is illustration only, whilst the penultimate and final part consist of shots of Coven Cottage.
In my comfort zone of mythology and theology (on a good day anyways), incorporating a witchcraft angle one’s concededly less au fait with, this has been a decidedly more enjoyable doddle to write, than to shoot,
(which yeah, I’m struggling with).
So all that’s left to say on the subject, is:
‘HOY! Phidias have you seen my Lego bricks? There be temples of Long Wind t’be builded.’
Hope you enjoy!
The Druidess
Part One: The Temple
On a promontory high upon the cliff top of a seaside town, dwells the witch popularly known as ‘Mystic Myfanwy’. Foregoing the less than popular adjectives, her cottage can be reached by climbing up a labyrinth of crazy-paved steps, crooked pathways, and dead-end caves, that almost circumnavigate the cliff face. On approach of the zenith the air shall fill with the pungent stench of wild garlic, and you’ll be confronted by a gnarled lightening perished tree, whose roots shall undulate and rear in the manner of a nest of vipers, and branches descend like a portcullis. It’s appearance may startle and disconcert you, but be you no foe, enter unhindered onto a pathway lined with the remains of marble mermaids, their heads lamentably faced down into the earth, tails and torsos in smithereens amongst the foliage. The long shadow of a cross shall direct you towards a Gothic stone arch on which two giant sturgeon are bowed and riveted. And between the arch is the lofty driftwood crucifix in whose shadow you have walked, the body of Christ represented by three fishes, the largest the torso and two smaller the arms. Large crudely hammered in nails stud the form like poppet doll pins, and carved equally crudely across the sign that would have read INRI, ‘BURN THE WICH’ sheds light on the defiler of the Fisher of Man.
Go through the archway, and ship bells hanging from the stoutest branches of a grove of trees shall swing into action, uproariously ringing and reverberating inside your head causing you to fear for your eardrums. Be you no foe though, the ringing shall soon abate and be replaced with the calls of curlews and heron gulls, and of sea breezes whistling through the leafy carpets of Autumn. Recovered of your senses you will find yourself in a churchyard garden, where alongside a hint of salt the air is redolent with the heady scent of roses. In tandem with bindweed they climb and wind about anything and everything as far as the eye can see. The tendril conquest is replicated on an elevated platform whose sign reads ELYSIUM, where amidst broken, disfigured, and graffiti covered angels, strands of ivy hang like clootie tree ribbons on the wings of those still in possession of them, and by nature or design entwine around severed and in situ heads as garlands, lending what is a piteous site an air of joie de vivre.
Straight ahead, mossy stone steps scattered with leaves and apples, lead up to the ruins of the OSSUARY OF THE ANCIENT MARINER. The tree bearing the apples stands before the façade, its branches pouring into every arch and orifice through which the moon now risen glows. The Gothic Revival pastiche is superfluous on a structure that appears to be Medieval, William Morris meets the Bayeux tapestry on the cracked and broken windows. At the side of the bone-yard there’s a mezzanine, or folly as popularised in Victorian times. Reminiscent of the Porch Of The Maidens, on closer inspection one can see thus impression is deceptive. The filigree fretwork is unapologetically asymmetrical, and whilst the snake fits with Erichthonius the half man-half snake son of Athena whom the Erechtheion was named after, the six columns are not in Grecian tunics but tree trunks. Maybe after the sacred Temples of Trees that were chopped down by Hezekiah and the followers of Yahweh, an apotheosis of Hellenic meets Canaanite? Albeit that beneath acanthus volutes on the Corinthian capitals (another deviation), the faces on the columns are indisputably those of the Caryatids.
Two eerie legends surround said maidens: The first, (the finer details of which elude one) is that the Ionic columns were once real people, whom around 421 B.C. lived and breathed and being young girls probably danced around the olive groves of their father’s Karyes kingdom. The king somehow affronting the gods, the penance was accordingly met on his children who were taken away and tasked to stand sentry still in a temple of the Olympians. A task that stretching from minute to hour, morn to noon, day to night, week to month, so on and so forth, proved insurmountable. And a disgruntled goddess, likely Athena or Hera, (for their human failings) turned them all to stone. There is a later retelling that attempts to paint the gods in a godlier light, but implausibly.
Of the second legend: Together for 2,300 years until 1802. It is said that when a Caryatid was chiselled loose and removed from her awning, the remaining five sisters were heard to cry so inconsolably their wailing echoed all around the Acropolis and down to the streets of Athens. And when screams erupted from the crate containing what would come to be known as one of the ‘Elgin Marbles’, the men carrying it along the dock en route to the ship awaiting thus cargo, were so terrified they dropped it and ran, and only nerves of steel got the sixth screaming sister to embark and sail on that fateful journey, in a vessel that almost sank.
However, the only wailing you shall hear around these garden centre pasticcios shall be that of the wind.
Veils billow and sway amorphously in the breeze between each column. And now in the twilight, illumination from within lends the site a shimmering Bedouin tent look. Or Cleopatra’s barge quietly sailing down the Nile, far away from the here and now.
A glimpse of a Lapis Lazuli mosaic floor can be discerned fleetingly beneath sequinned hems, and whilst sheer to the outpouring light, to the inward observer the veils appear opaque.
Reached by another stone staircase, on drawing aside the drapes and entering the temple…. if unassailed by ‘th’bells, th’bells!’ it is the cymbals, booms and Gregorian chants of ‘ELEGIA’ streaming through a piped music system that instantly invades the senses, confirming that the priestess of this order is in touch with their inner theatre, notwithstanding dark humour. The chamber is deceptively spacious via a recess eked into the next door structure, and belying that arachne have carte blanch to weave the silken gossamer webs that float like buntings everywhere, (albeit so long as their labour is aesthetic), it is pristine clean and the fixtures and floor are shining; evidential in the scent of beeswax polish mixed with lotus blossom incense.
An altar stands at the epicentre of the floor, on which an imposing candelabra dominates the surface, shared only by a wand and a small volume of poetry. The poem in the book that’s bookmarked is ‘The Huluppu Tree’, which is apt’ as the solid silver candelabra has a female form whose branches ensconce eleven lit candles. Long before they were stylised, the temple of Solomon is said to have housed such a menorah in gold. And should one have any questions left regarding the mismatch temple’s purpose, the wand holds the clue. For it is a miniature Asherah Pole, and this is indeed a temple of trees in whose object of worship is neither Athena or Poseidon, but She of a thousand names. The sacred Tree Of Life.
Amidst the sombre melodic dirge and an altar that could be the reclaimed tomb of Nosferatu, unprecious scatterings of bright coloured rugs in leaf and tree designs lend the space an incongruously cosy feel. Frescos of Druantia Queen of the Druids, and Adonis in the arms of his mother Myrrha (pagan Christ Child) with the cross of Tammuz in the horizon, adorn the walls on either side of the recess.
At the end of the recess is a fireplace, styled from two interwoven driftwood trees, the hue of bleached bone. A motto is carved across its bow ‘SAPIENS DOMINABITUR
ASTRIS’ that from Latin reads: ‘The axe forgets what the tree remembers.’ Scrying
mirrors are inserted into each trunk, out of which the faces of the God and Goddess peer through as if from another dimension. And from ditto dimension, on a raised hearth a blazing fire shooting sparks up the funebre chimney burns; generating heat across the chamber that the collective windpower of Aeolus and the Anemoi may not cool nor extinguish.
The eyes in the mirrors however, are not the only ones peering into one’s core. Jolly Tar, the rescue pet crow can be heard fluttering watchfully overhead, whilst Blodeuwedd the owl watches one’s every move eye-to-direct-eye, from her perch amongst the branches.
Bookending either side of the fireplace two huge floor-to-ceiling shelves stand. Modelled on the symbols of fire and air and shelved with reinforced glass, they house potion bottles, goblets, incense, candles, crystals, runes, journals, spell jotters and inks. And rows upon rows of books housing a plethora of secular and non secular, ancient and modern tomes, on all aspects of magic, the occult, astronomy, and paleo’ paganism; as well as books on monotheistic and polytheistic religions, inclusive of the Bible, Quran, Torah, Kabbalah, Sefer Harazim, and Book of Enoch.
Carl Jung said: ‘Sometimes a tree tells you more than can be read in books.’ And between the tomes, accoutrements, and ephemera, a collection of etchings portray thus point. There is a dyptic of Odin hanging from the Nine Twigs of Glory, a metaphor for the ash Yggdrasil tree, with his ravens Huginn and Muninn on each shoulder. And the druid god Esus, crucified on a tree cross. An opposing hypothesis on thus scene, is that figurative strange fruit hung on tree crosses in sacrificial offerings to the vegetation tree-god. He is said to have been born of a virgin mother, part of the trinity of Taranis (of reputed wicker man sacrifice) and Teutates , and his name is seen as an epithet for Jesus, irrespective that Esus long predated Christianity.
There is a tryptic of Daphne, Dryope, and Lotis, morphing into laurel, poplar and lotus trees, subsequent to rape and pursuit by Apollo and Priapus. From Irish folklore, the creation of man from the alder tree, and woman from the rowan. A dyptic of the Norse Yggdrasil, and Brythonic pantheon World Tree. An enchanted forest populated by dryads and hamadryads. Another dyptic of Herne the wildman of the woods, and Ghillie Dhu the tree man of Scottish folklore. Tolkien’s Ents and Entwives, with Treebeard’s Song..
‘When spring unfolds the beechen leaf
And sap is in the bough,
When light is on the wyldwood stream,
And wind is on the brow,
When stride is long and breath is deep,
And keen the mountain air!
Come back to me…
Come back to me…
And see my land is fair!’
.. Lovely. Also a fruitful tree and barren tree on a hilltop, with W.B. Yeats’ poem ‘The Two Trees’. And beside the schematic of the 10 Sephiroth & Tree of Life, is God standing alongside the Tree of Knowledge. That if a tad overt, speaks volumes.
In Genesis 1:27 of the first unabridged version of the Bible, prior to its sanitisation by piety (the euphemism for misogyny). God was described as an androgynous (dual sex) angel named Jehovah Elohim. Thus, that God the Father & God the Son was one and the same with Goddess the Mother & Goddess the Daughter, is gospel. Not that that helped the first translator of the gospels into English, who was unceremoniously strangled then burned at the stake as a heretic. Alas were that only the fate of King James IV-I the later Bible translator, for his penning of ‘Daemonologie’, to preclude the witch hunts of 1645 A.D. onwards.
And lying opened on the floor, on top of ‘The Raphael de Mercatelli Compilation’ is a volume of ‘The Secret Teachings of All Ages’ by Manly P. Hall, as if the reader has paused from their perusing on the fireside rug, and momentarily slipped away.
On stepping back out of the temple, ‘Elegia’ ceases as instantly as it began. And casting one’s eye to the periphery of the farther ruins, lighted windows can now be seen shining through the trees like flickering stars. Through an opened casement, the notes of a piano being played carries forth on the wind, and in perfect French the hauntingly lovely strains of a siren voice peels out. The song Myfanwy sings is ‘Dans le Silence’, that in English is: In the Silence.
Sometimes when the wind breathes,
Among the hemlock and the fir,
Let the day heave a great sigh.
The sun is low,
And it seems to me,
That a shadow hangs,
In the silence.
In the silence of oblivion.
And the silence proclaims,
That you will not
Toujours,
You will not always be there.
Hist!…. It almost sounds as if another voice has joined that of the siren’s, in discordant duet. From somewhere far faraway in the netherworlds it seems, so heartbreakingly sweet it could hail from the empyrean. However, in a place reputedly where angels fear to tread, amidst catacombs of the nameless sea dead, and bell knells of the oak groves, the imagination can play tricks. Moreover when heightened by the rising wind, and an impromptu drum-roll of thunder.
I was blind but now I see
What I’ve got is not for me
And I know
It’s time to go..
I DEFEAT THE PAIN
I’M ALIVE AGAIN
The past is gone for good, it’s time to say
Amen!
In the silence
Of my nights
I can hear a distant voice
Someone out there
Is calling my name
I’M BEYOND THE DREAD
I’M NOT AFRAID
It’s time to turn the page
And love again
Amen!
Amen!
AMEN!
And the roses in the witch’s garden, close their petals tight, beneath the shroud of moonlight, and indigo of night.
******
The Druidess
Part Two: The Dwelling
Traversing the rose thorns through a maze of bramble is time consuming. ‘Dans le Silence’ now silent, the fairground in the seaside town below lights up in flashing neon that strobes the sky, and a cacophony of drumbeats, trumpets, and wailing vocals erupt across the airwaves. It is All Hallows Eve, hence the summoning ‘From The Underworld’ of ‘Severina’, ‘Livia’ and ‘Rhiannon’. And the spectre in the ghost train howling at the ‘Prisoner’ in chains, ‘That Tears SHALL DROWN THE WIIIIIIIIII-IND!’
(TO BE CONTINUED)
Song Credits:
‘Elegia (Full Version)’ by New Order
‘Dans le Silence’ by Martha Wainwright
‘Amen’ by Enigma
‘From The Underworld’ by The Herd
‘Severina’ by The Mission
‘Livia’ by Drugstore
‘Rhiannon’ by Fleetwood Mac
‘Prisoner’ by The Jezebels
‘That Tears Shall Drown The Wind’ by The Mission
******
Wonder if student architects of the HOW NOT TO school clocked the euphemism for dodgy perspective? ‘Unapologetically asymmetrical’ (Ho Ho, if yer cannit hack it, wing it.)
No pictorial copyright has been breached, nor either etching descriptions, as I don’t refer to the works of others for illustrations. However, I admit I have never seen a tree holding a baby in my life, or an image of Druantia. Re’ the latter, had a mindset of Scota-Meritatin the princess of Egypt, aka Mrs of the first Celt on these shores. And whilst it’s questionable that Egyptians had red hair in the days of the Exodus, the sacred white stag was a no brainer, as it’s white. So if the effect’s as hotchpotch as Myfanwy’s temple, druids, ovates, and forest witches (should you pass this way), be forgiving.
Depending if one’s head’s in or out of the primordial soup, hope to fly by again around Samhain 2022 with full second chapter. And in the interim herewith’s a shot of one of the Coven Cottage sets, and retouch of a painting into, Myfanwy.
Ciao!
TOAD x
#magick#druidess#mythology#legend#celtic#greek#pagan#egyptian#druids#theology#latin#druidic#ancient#folklore#trees#dryad#woods#tolkien#ents#forest#witches#drawing#painting#photography#interiors
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Hey Tumblr. Give me a hand here.
description book 1. Thick, read it before, a newer work, smells oddly of daisies, despite it never having been near flowers. Features themes like "the chosen one." Romance that goes nowhere, and a radical inability to confront death. Also, dogs.
Description book two. A thinner book, never read it before. Older, smells of garlic, wich isn't suprising, seeing as it's the book I keep near my garlic. Features themes like the Nazis, discrimination, and bribery.
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part 4: Lunch
One o’clock finally made its appearance, which meant it was time for Jonesy & Max’s lunch break. Jonesy went to the back room and grabbed her backpack while Max ushered some straggling customers out the door. Jonesy flicked the switch on the OPEN sign off, and hung the “OUT TO LUNCH (back at 2p)” sign in the window. Directly across from Popcorn Video in the strip mall was the Super Grasso Brothers Pizzeria, Jonesy and Max’s favorite pizza place since they were kids. Not only was the pizza delicious, but there were free refills on soda, and the best part was the ancient Donkey Kong arcade that had been there since 1981. Max held the second highest score on it, behind whoever had entered the initials “STN.” The two of them had spent hours and hours eating pizza, gorging themselves on garlic knots, and taking turns racking up levels on Donkey Kong.
Jonesy said hi to Fabrizio Grasso behind the counter, his brother Massimo must have had the day off, she figured, and asked for the usual.
“One large pie, half extra cheese, half extra pepperoni, garlic knots, and two large sodas. You know the drill, Ms. Jones.” He handed her two large cups and gestured towards the fountain. His thick italian accent had diminished a bit since she was little, but his boisterous, husky baritone never had.
She filled one cup with Cherry Coke for Max and mixed the Orange and the Sprite together for herself. She had a seat in one of the booths next to the Donkey Kong machine and watched Max go a few rounds before the pie was ready.
Max opened the back of his van and Jonesy slid the pizza box in first, the two of them followed behind it. She had dug out her weed purse and took a nice big hit as Max grabbed slices of pizza, one pepperoni, one cheese and smooshed them on top of each other.
“Pizza-wich!” He presented it as though a work of art to Jonesy who laughed and coughed at this miraculous new invention.
“You truly are an inspired artist, Signore Swartzwelder!” She chef kissed her fingers.
For the next hour they shared pizza, and knots, and the rest of the bud Jonesy had brought, taking turns noodling on the guitar Max always had in his van.
“Hey Jonesy.” Max strummed the guitar with each syllable.
“Yeah, Max?”
“Ok, so, like,” He looked up at his thoughts, “If you could pick how you’d die. Like number one death. How would you wanna go?”
“Demon possession.”
“Fuck! …That’s good!”
“Yeah, and I’m talking hideous deadite-style. You’d have to chop me up or blow my head off with a shotgun! But before that I’m all like munchin’ on your leg or clawin’ your eyes out, or like, comin’ at you with a rusty knife! Haha!”
“That’d be so fucking metal!”
“Either that or an evil doppelganger. Like, it wants my life, but there’s just something wrong with it, you know? Like, there’s something twisted inside it. Then we’re all like, strangling each other and maybe it bashes my brains in with a rock or something. Hahaha, that’d be rad as fuck.”
“Holy shit, that’d rule.”
“What about you?”
“Asteroid.”
“Like the dinosaurs?”
“Nah, dude. Like, ok. So like, I want there to be an asteroid heading for earth, but it burns up in the atmosphere so much that it’s just, like, the size of a bullet, then BLAMMO: killshot right to the brain. Fucking sniped from a billion years ago. The big bang itself hittin’ me with the headshot from the beginning of time!”
“Dude, that’s fucking cosmic.”
“Like, that asteroid was on a collision course with my skull since the universe was born. Destiny. I wouldn’t even be pissed, I’d be like, hell yeah.”
“Yeah man, that’s like, beautiful.”
“Either that or choked out between Kelly Bundy’s thighs.” Max plucked a wailer of a high note on his guitar and clapped the string silent.
“Oh! Nice!”
The two fist bumped twice in quick succession in perverted synchronicity.
“Excuse me!” A voice came, seemingly, out of thin air.
“Huh?” Jonesy and Max asked the disembodied voice.
“I said, excuse me!” Jonesy and Max turned their heads in the direction of the noise. To their surprise there was a man standing right in front of them. He was a stocky, middle-aged man, bearded, bespeckled, with a fluffy brown pony tail bringing together what was left of his hair. A green trench coat ended at his ankles, and due to his choice of denim shorts, if he had closed the coat it may have given the illusion that he wasn’t wearing any pants.
“What’s up, doc?” Asked Jonesy, holding in a massive grin.
Max buried his face in his elbow to stop from laughing.
The pony tail man wasn’t amused in the slightest. “I’m sorry, but is that pot I’m smelling?? Are you two high??”
Max looked at Jonesy from inside his elbow, her rose colored eyes matching his.
“Uh. Nope.” Jonesy desperately tried to hold in her laughter as Max nearly died.
“Sure. Whatever. I want to rent a movie and the door is locked. Judging by your uniforms, I’m going to assume you’re the clerks?” Ponytail attempted to move past the snickering and cloud of weed that hung around the two chuckleheads.
Max, trying to keep his composure, looked down at his double entendre nametag, “My name’s Haywood Jablome,” He pulled it out towards Ponytail. “...Junior.”
“Can one of you burnouts please get your shit together for five minutes and open the store. I have places to be.” Ponytail sneered.
“How come?” Jonesy asked.
“How come’ what?”
“Why are you in such a rush?”
“That’s none of your concern.” Ponytail avoided their eyes.
Max tapped Jonesy with his elbow, “He’s getting porn.”
“I am not!” Ponytail sputtered.
“Sure.”
“I have a date, if you must know.” Ponytail composed himself.
“No you don’t.” Jonesy chuckled.
“Yes I do!”
“With who?”
“Is it your mom?” asked Max.
“Are you getting porn for your mom?” Jonesy laughed, scrunching up her nose, “Ew, sick!”
“Is she too old to get it herself? What does she like?” Max leaned forward, intrigued.
“They didn’t have porn on tapes a hundred years ago, so she’s probably just like, sampling it all, right?” Jonesy offered.
“You are both disgusting!” Ponytail was red in the face now.
“We’re only messin’ with ya, dude.” Max decided to let the fish off the hook and finally help Ponytail out.
He shuffled his butt to the edge of the van and hopped out, grabbing his soda to take along for the trip. All of a sudden, Ponytail’s hand was moving. It was moving quite fast in Max’s direction. Jonesy saw what was happening, but her brain and her thoughts couldn’t drag themselves together fast enough to understand the gravity of it all. Jonesy’s mouth fell open, intending to warn Max, but all she succeeded in doing was letting out a long “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh…” By the time her brain had worked itself up enough to make the M sound in “Max” it was already too late. Ponytail had slapped Max’s soda right out of his grip. The cup crashed to the ground, its contents splashing against Max’s jeans and all over his right shoe. He looked down, then back up, meeting Ponytail’s gaze. He was smirking, but as soon as Ponytail’s eyes locked with Max’s the smirk vanished. Max snarled.
“What the fuck!” Max barked. Jonesy could see her pal shift into feral mode. He hunched, balled his fists and planted his feet. “I was gonna open the store for you, asshole!”
“Fuck you! I’ll be speaking to your supervisor about this!” Ponytail backed away and started to run.
Max was about to give chase when he noticed he wasn’t moving, Jonesy was holding him back. “Don’t! Don’t dude, he’s not worth it.”
Max looked at Jonesy and back at Ponytail scrambling into his car. He spit on the ground and flipped the man off. “You’re fucking banned, shitbag! Good luck finding another place to rent your mom’s porn!”
“Fuck you!” Ponytail wailed.
“Eat shit!” Jonesy fired back, chucking her soda at him. The cup splattered all over his rear windshield as he peeled out of the parking lot, swerving and narrowly missing an oncoming car.
Max turned to Jonesy, “Can you believe that fucker?”
“Who the fuck was that guy?” Jonesy adjusted her hat and hopped back in the van, laughing to herself.
“I was gonna drink that.” Max sulked and ate a garlic knot.
Jonesy crawled over to Max and pet his head, “Awww, Max! No be cry! Today is Chain-Slaughter day!” She gave him a big hug from behind and bit his ear, “Don’t let that chucklefuck get to you!”
“You shoulda let me bash him up,” Max swatted at Jonesy, “That would’ve made me feel better. Now I’ve got itchy static in my brain!”
Jonesy laid back in the van and sighed. Normally she was the one who was bent out of shape and Max was always there to bring her out of a funk. She hated when she couldn’t do the same for him. Her brain had been baked thoroughly at this point, but she muscled through the fog, through the seductive dopamine being released, until she arrived at the answer. The one thing she knew that could help Max. He just needed somewhere to release all that tasmanian devil energy that was gumming up the works.
She sat up and grabbed the boombox from Max’s van. She rummaged with determination through her backpack until she found exactly what she was looking for: Gang Green’s Another Wasted Night. She set the boombox down in front of the video store and turned it all the way up. “Haunted House” began its opening riff and Jonesy let loose, dancing and skanking by herself with abandon.
“Hey Max!” She motioned for him to join her.
He couldn’t help himself, he smiled, “Yeah Jonesy!” and joined her.
The two danced and crashed into each other, as “Haunted House” faded into the title track, blasting throughout the strip mall parking lot. By the time “Skate to Hell” started playing, Jonesy could see her plan had worked, Max was singing and bouncing around, spinning and kicking and releasing all that unfocused rage. She smiled to herself and jumped onto her pal’s back, hugging him. The end of “Skate to Hell” brought them to Gang Green’s cover of “Voices Carry,” slowing the duo down, Jonesy and Max joined Chris Doherty’s charmingly off-key vocals. The two created a romantic pantomime as the song drowned out the world around them. The instinct to destroy (that guy’s face and property in particular) drained from Max completely, having converted into the primal joy of moshing with your best friend.
As the final cord of “L.D.S.B.” rang out into the dwindling friday afternoon, a punctuated “BWOOP” brought Jonesy and Max’s attention back to reality. A Lake’s End squad car had pulled up next to the van, directly in front of them. Max snarled, Jonesy crossed her arms and spit on the ground in front of her.
“Howdy hey!” A young officer in a clean and crisp, blue uniform emerged from the black and white. He had neat brown hair with blond highlights parted to the side, his toothy smile and apple cheeks shaped his blue eyes into crescent moons. He smoothed his lovingly tended mustache and hiked his belt as he made his way over to the video store.
Jonesy rolled her eyes and leaned back against the store, “Hey Stewie.”
“Fuck off, Stewie!” Max growled.
“What’cha guys up to? Ooh! Dance party?” Officer Stewart Mooney asked with genuine excitement. “I’m particular to the Lawnmower!”
Jonesy and Max stared blankly at Officer Mooney as they watched a grown man humiliate himself.
“The Sprinkler’s pretty great, too!” He demonstrated. “But that’s neither here nor there.” He chuckled, entertaining himself.
“What do you want, Stewie?” Jonesy almost rolled her eyes out of her skull, “We weren’t doing anything. Just playing music before our break ends.”
“Golly, Jonesy, that’s no problem!” Officer Mooney furrowed his brow, looking at his shoes and back to Jonesy. “It’s just that, unfortunately, we got a complaint about…” He raised a finger asking for a moment and pulled out his notepad, reading from it, “A pair of rude thugs loitering in front of the video store…” Jonesy and Max smiled and nodded at each other, fist bumping twice in quick succession.
Officer Mooney continued, “...harassing respectful and handsome potential patrons.” He looked up at them with his guileless baby blues. “Possibly out of jealousy.”
Max scoffed, “That’s bullshit! Come on Stewie, you know us. You know that’s a load of crap!”
“Well, Max, I mean, I know you guys are a couple of sweet little sugar cookies. All buttery and comforting, warm, like a Sunday morning in June.”
“Okay, well, no that’s…stop saying stuff like that.” Max made sure no one was around to hear this. “We’re more like, nachos. Or maybe like, pickles…?
“What are you doing?” Jonesy interrupted.
“I don’t know!”
Mooney continued, ignoring them, “Just, crunchy exteriors. Hiding a soft, whipped, nougaty inside. Best friends. Just two lovely, sweet-”
“Yeah, okay!” Max cut him off. “Look, dude, that guy was starting shit with us, he slapped my soda out of my hand. Before that happened I was just about to let him into the store and everything.”
“Well, dang, that’s rude!” Mooney frowned, “Are you alright?” He took Max’s hand.
Max quickly took his hand back, “Hey, come on…”
Jonesy snickered at the bristling Max, “Stewie, is there something you need us to do, or whatever?”
“Nah! No worries. I just love an excuse to hang out with my oldest and best pals.” Mooney beamed.
“Is that how you see this?” Max asked delicately, raising an eyebrow.
“See what?” Mooney could not be phased.
The three just sat in thick silence for what felt like the rest of eternity, glancing at each other.
“Well!” Jonesy finally broke them all free from the conversational stand-off, “Looks like our break is just about over. We better get back to work and all…”
“Fiddlesticks! We were just starting to have some fun, too. Oh well!” Mooney was genuinely bummed their time together was ending. “Hey! You guys gonna be at the theater tonight?? I mean, it’s opening day of Chain-Slaughter 6, so I know that’s a goofy question to ask, but I just figured-”
“Yup, we are.” Max desperately searched for the store key in his pockets, desperate for an escape.
“I was thinking about catching that one myself! Now do I have to see the other five to understand what’s happening in this one, do you think?” Mooney began following them.
“I mean, it probably would improve your viewing experience…” Jonesy elbowed Max, whispering, “Come on, man.”
Mooney chuckled, “You’re right, you’re probably right! You two are the experts! You know I’ve never been a big fan of scary movies. All that blood and killing. It’s a little ghoulish, don’t you think?”
“Stewie, we gotta get going, dude. Sorry! Store and all, you know.” Jonesy desperately tried to untether them from this conversation.
Mooney finally realized he had been following them into the store, “Golly! Sorry, guys! I’ll let you get back to it,” He turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks and spun back around, “I almost forgot, do you guys have Free Willy 2 in stock, by any chance? I gotta see what kinda mischief that big ol’ fish has gotten himself into this time!”
#opening day#web serial#writing#90s#original story#original characters#slice of life#jonesy and max#clerks#vhs#video store#oc#story
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okay first day back to counting calories i thought i had it set to a lower cal amount but i didn’t realize till now so i fixed it but new favorite snack is tuna and spicy mustard filled w protein but only about 70 cals per serving anyway
breakfast:
☆ coffee = 0 cal
☆ 1/2 cup a2 milk = 80 cal
☆ small apple =78 cal
total: =158 cal
lunch:
☆coke cherry zero =0 cal
☆fruit cheese & crackers =330cal
☆strawberry cupcake =180cal
total: =510 cal
dinner:
☆homemade spaghetti =329 cal
☆garlic bread =150 cal
total: =479 cal
snacks:
☆tuna packet =70 cal
☆mustard =0 cal
total: =70 cal
total cal intake =1,217cal
i feel like i could do better so far i’ve lost 2 pounds wich i’m really proud of and i’ve been staying on track and not letting any mistakes happen also i think i’ll update stats weekly on tuesdays
2/21/23
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Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices are very curious. For this reason, we have prepared the updated Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Price list for you. By following our site, you can reach up-to-date menu prices such as Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices. The menu prices of the Joe’s Crab Shack brand, which has many branches, are frequently searched. You can follow our website menuandprice.net for menu prices research. We offer you the most up-to-date Joe’s Crab Shack menu prices.
You can find the menu prices of the brand you want to research on our website. You can also access the menu of the restaurant, cafe or fastfood store you want from the search field above. Here are the new Joe’s Crab Shack Menu prices.
joe's crab shack menu
Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Joe’s Crab Shack is a dining restaurant that features mainly seafood. The chain of restaurants was founded in Houston, Texas, in 1991. Joe’s Crab Shack currently has 123 restaurants located across the United States, and they are owned by Landry’s.
Typical hours of operation are from 11:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. Sunday through Thursday and 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays. Joe’s Crab Shack serves a variety of seafood options, cocktails, wines, desserts, and more.
This seafood restaurant has a number of different offers that customers can benefit from such as their all you can eat crab legs. Guests can also dive into their succulent lobster and their Arctic Bay Steampot, which features a queen crab, shrimp, a whole Maine lobster, smoked sausage mixed with garlic butter, and Old Bay seasoning on top.
New Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices;
Stay On Shore
Chicken Tenders$15.65Pasta Alfredo$18.15Joe's Top Sirloin$19.29New York Strip$28.37Grilled Herb Chicken$15.65Land And Sea$23.83Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Steampots
The Steamer$24.96Cajun Steampot$34.04Joe's Classic$34.04The Atlantic$37.22Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Surf & Sand- Wiches
Crab Cake Sandwich$13.95Chicken Sandwich$12.70Crispy Shrimp Po'Boy$12.82All-American Burger$12.02Blackened Shrimp, Mahi Mahi or Chicken Tacos$14.74Chicken Voodoo Chicken Po'Boy$11.91Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Crab Buckets
Dungeness$38.36Queen$38.58Snow$34.04Crab Daddy Feast$43.12Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Sea Sides
Seasonal Vegetables$3.39Homemade Mac& Cheese$5.66French Fries$3.39Hushpuppies$3.39Red Beans & Rice$4.53Sweet Potato Fries$4.53Mashed Potatoes$3.39Coleslaw$3.39Corn & Potatoes$5.66White Or Dirty Rice$3.39Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Add Clusters & More
Snow Crab$12.49Crab Cake$10.22Dungeness Crab$12.49Queen Crab$14.76Shrimp1/2 Pound$11.35Clams1 Pound$6.81Mussels1 Pound$6.81Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
So-Fish-Ticated
Cedar Roasted Salmon$20.99Catfish$19.85Redfish 'N Lobster$22.69Crab Cake Dinner$22.69Fish & Chips$16.45Fisherman's Choice$20.99Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
What A Catch
Shrimp Sampler$22.69Paradise Platter$23.83Lobster Tails$27.23Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Joe's Famous Crab Combos
East Coast Platter$22.69Triton's Trio$39.72Captain's Plate$28.37Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Who You Callin' Shrimp?
Coconut$18.15Crispy$17.02Shrimp And Fish$17.58Grilled Shrimp Skewers$14.18Shrimp Trio$19.29Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
joes crabshack menu
Shack Snacks
Joe's Classic Sampler$14.74Crab And Shrimp Dip$11.34Great Balls Of Fire$9.41Crispy Calamari$10.20Garlicky Mussels$11.34Garlic Bread$4.53Voodoo Chicken Bites$10.55Peel 'N Eat Shrimp1/2 Pound$11.91Peel 'N Eat Shrimp1 Pound$22.12Crab Stuffed Mushrooms$10.55Crab Nachos$13.61Dynamite Shrimp$11.34Mozzarella Bricks$10.20Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Chopped & Souped
New England Clam ChowderCup$4.53New England Clam ChowderBowl$6.80Seafood GumboCup$4.53Seafood GumboBowl$6.80Classic Caesar$11.34Joe's Garden$11.34Joe’s Crab Shack Menu Prices
Joe's Crab Shack offers a variety of favorites from all parts of the sea and shore. From its extensive menu, guests can choose from buckets of seasonal seafood, fried shrimp platters, and fish dishes, as well as options from the "mainland" that include steak, sandwiches, and chicken. Guests can indulge in over-sized and creative cocktails, such as the Shark Bite which is playfully garnished with a shark toy.
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Since its inception, Joe's popularity has stemmed not only from its menu but also from its retail store. With various pieces of merchandise for purchase, including the ever-popular tie-dye T-shirt with the phrase "Peace, Love and Crabs," Joe's has become synonymous with the word "fun."
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Does Joe's Crab Shack offer military discount?Joe's Crab Shack is active in the community and supporting military members is an important part of our community origin. A 10% military discount is also an everyday offer at Joe's.What do they yell at Joe's Crab Shack?Joe's Crab Shack is known for its chutzpah, with its sexually-tinged slogans and swag. Notes like “I got crabs,” “Free crabs,” and “Peace, love, and crabs” make diners happy to eat seafood and not walk out with a violent, burning sensation later that night.What tastes better crab or lobster?Crab meat has a similar, seafood flavour to lobster, but there are ways to tell them apart. Crab is generally sweeter than lobster meat, while lobster meat is less flaky and holds together better.
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