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rewatching-sam-and-dean · 1 year

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The Pilot (Part 3 of 3)

So, this post will wrap up my Pilot episode commentaries, reviews … whatever they should be classified as. Again, thanks to everyone who checked out Part 1 and Part 2. This one took me ages because I ended up writing about the whole rest of the episode. And here I thought Part 2 took me a long time. But, for anyone who takes a minute to read this one, thank you. And please feel free to comment with what you liked best (or didn’t) about the Pilot.

[For anyone who might have seen this post already, I’m reposting since I needed to fix some things and Tumblr wasn’t cooperating.]

On the Road Again

(Alternate Title: Sam and Dean Brothering)

My commentary and more pic edits are under the cut …

THE CASE

ABOUT ME: Alight, so honesty time, I don’t really like horror. Yes, I watched the mainstream ones that came out in the theaters when I was in high school and university (Hello, Mr Padalecki in House of Wax), largely because it was something to go do with friends, but it’s certainly not a favorite genre of mine. I’ve never seen ones like The Exorcist and I don’t plan to. However, SPN, even in the early seasons is more like horror lite, but even then there are episodes I won’t watch while going to bed because I don’t want that crap swimming around my subconscious while I’m sleeping. But all that being said, I generally don’t mind the creep factor on the show, and I like some of the monsters, but the relationships, especially between Sam and Dean are what hooked me on the show. All this is just to explain why I generally probably won’t talk that much about the cases of the week unless they are very relevant to a plot arc or I really like/hate them.

THE MONSTER OF THE WEEK: Anyway, The Woman in White is a pretty decent first ghost to set up the show, and the case shows us what the Winchesters do when they hunt and what they know about the supernatural world. The MOTW gives us some classic horror tropes (the cheater gets killed, ghost kids are creepy as hell), and it sets up some classic SPN tropes (shooting ghosts and blood splats, anyone?). I think the ghost is sufficiently creepy. The case is fairly straightforward, but it’s not like I usually tune into the show for the mystery alone, so that’s fine with me. I think the effects are pretty decent for the ghost given when it was filmed, though the glitchy-ness makes it feel a little too much like computer effects, at times. Still, the only part that really stands out to me in a bad way is when the ghost kids zoom over to their ghost mother and … latch on to her? Whatever they are doing, it looks weird, to me, and kind of awkward, and it sort of takes me out of the moment. Overall though, I think the ghost and the first case are a good start to the show.

WORKING TOGETHER AGAIN

GETTING STARTED: When Sam and Dean first start working the case, we really start to see who they are as people and their dynamic. Surprising to no one who has watched the show, Jared and Jensen do a phenomenal job of selling Sam and Dean as siblings despite not looking much alike. Their frequent bickering and physicality paint a very convincing picture of siblings dynamics between people who grew up together. As someone with brothers myself, their teasing and the occasional smack feel on point to me.

When they get into the car, the show sets up how Dean and his Dad live and support themselves, as well as Sam's vague disdain for scamming credit cards. But one of the most classic of all SPN imagery and concepts is set up here with Dean as the driver, picking the music, with Sam riding shotgun. If this isn’t also a metaphor for a good portion of their relationship, I don’t know what is; Dean is the boss and Sam is expected to follow (except when he doesn’t). On a similar note, later in the episode, the irony of Dean calling Sam a control freak when Sam shoves his chair away from the computer is … phew. Dean, my friend, you are a black pot and Sam is your kettle. Anyway, not only does the way they act around each other, and play off of each other, more then sell them as brothers, it starts to reveal who they are.

Dean is a snarky smart-ass who clearly has little respect for authority (when it isn’t his dad), as he has no problem lying to or even mouthing-off to law enforcement. To him, they are civilians poking their noses into monster business, so he can’t be bothered to pretend to respect what they have to officer. Sam kicks Dean under the officer's sight line for his flippancy, and aside from being a classic sibling move, this suggests he has more respect for authority (when it isn’t his dad) and the law in particular (as a hopeful future lawyer, this is not a surprise) than Dean. It also shows he’s more cautious and less brash than Dean, not wanting to draw too much attention to themselves by being snarky or confrontational.

Besides starting to establish who our main characters are, this early part of the case starts to reveal the complexity of how Sam and Dean feel about each other. Clearly, there is a lot more volatile emotions simmering away than simple sibling rivalry. Sam seems to resent Dean siding with their dad over him, and both his dad and brother's for hunting and revenge. On the other hand, Dean is clearly not over Sam leaving (abandoning him, their dad and the mission) and is seemingly itching for a bit of a fight. All it takes is one statement from Sam about their mom being gone no matter what they do, for Dean to break. As I mentioned in (I think) my Part 1 discussion, this moment, paired with the introduction scenes with Mary, makes a lot of sense. Dean is pissed that Sam doesn’t seem to take the mission seriously enough, while Sam truly can’t remember her, so it’s impossible for him to feel the same connection to dad's mission of revenge as Dean. Despite growing up together, these boys clearly did not have entirely the same childhood experience (which of course, we will see more of later). Despite their tension, it’s also clear that these brothers care about each other and are comfortable together. They speak at the same time (jinx!), showing they are clearly in sync. They are both annoyed and amused by each other's teasing, especially Sam reluctantly smiling at Dean's snark. They sit so close that they’re practically on top of each other, which they definitely would not do if they didn’t like each other and weren’t comfortable with each other. And, they express their care for each other in their own (jerk-bitch) emotionally constipated way. The latter is especially true for Dean of the no chick-flick moments. Even after years apart, these guys clearly have a close bond, despite their issues.

DIVIDING AND CONQUERING

HOW THE WINCHESTERS WORK: Even when detained by the police, Dean, we see is holding true to his fearless and flippant persona as he gives the cop interrogating him little respect and a lot of attitude. We also find out a little more about Dean and John. They clearly think ahead, setting up systems for finding each other in the inevitability of them getting separated (the coordinates in the journal). This is something I love seeing in the show later with Sam and Dean, their code words and contingency plans. These are aspects of the characters that really make them feel real and competent, and I wish we got more of this throughout the seasons. When the officer gets called away, we also see that Dean is resourceful (hello, Clippy!), and can pick a lock.

Meanwhile, we see the first hints os Sam's true super power, puppy-dog eyes. Still, they must not be up to full power after years off the job, as the widower ends up storming off in an offended and guilty huff. Next, as it turns out, Sam was the one who called in the tip that cleared out station, giving Dean the opportunity to make his escape. I love that Sam does this for three particular reasons. First, it shows that he’s smart and resourceful, and, despite his desire to no longer be a part of the hunting life, thinking on his feet is clearly still very much a part of him. Secondly, and related to my first point, this move shows how he and a Dean are a team, even when separated. Sam knows that if he gets Dean an opportunity, he will find a way to use it and escape. Finally, this little move of essentially prank calling the cops, reveals more about Sam. Mr. Future Lawyer is not above breaking the rules if it means helping his brother. This confirms to us that Sam isn’t exactly the straight-laced guy he appears to be at the start of the episode.

A couple more things that stand out for me, while the brothers are on the phone, is how proud Dean clearly is of Sam fior making that call into the police (one of us! one of us!), and Sam is full on smiling while discussing his recent misdemeanor. Whether he likes it or not, a part of Sam enjoys this. He is having fun hunting, or at least hanging out with Dean, and Dean is loving having Sam back.

REUNITED FOR NOW

(But really, for the next 15 years, give or take a few separations)

BETTER TOGETHER: So, not-unsurprisingly, Sam gets attacked by the ghost. He is a faithful guy, which already seemed pretty clear from his vibe when he’s first introduced in the episode, but it’s nice to have confirmed. The ghost doesn’t care and basically sexually assaults him so that she’ll be justified in killing him. I mean … bad form, Constance. Dean shows up shooting her in the face, which distracts her just long enough (despite not being salt shells - is this when they get the idea to start using salt shells, I can’t recall?) for Sam to crash the impala into the house, effectively taking her home. So, Sam helped save Dean by giving him a chance to get out of custody, and Dean helps save Sam by distracting the ghost so Sam can bring her back to the house. I like how they both save each other, or give each other the opportunity to save themselves. This establishes that they are both capable alone but better when they work as a team.

So, besides my comments on the screen shots above, a few more things really stand out for me in the final parts of the episode. Sam, who just crashed a car into an abandoned house, was attacked by a ghost, and has now been threatened by his sibling, is again smiling. This weirdo is having a good time, and I love it. I keep pointing this out because I don’t think I fully noticed just how much Sam smiles in the Pilot when I watched it before, and a lot of the time it’s with Dean or just after breaking the law or being attacked. It really adds some interesting nuance to Sam, who is not simple the straight man, and informs his conflict over going back home.

Another thing that stands out to me here is just how desperately Dean wants Sam to stay with him. We can practically feel it through the screen. A part of him was clearly starting to hope that now that they found their groove again, Sam might just stay with him, that maybe he would blow off that law school interview after all. He is clearly crushed when Sam says he has to get back, and we pretty much see him scrambling to pull his armor back on to protect himself from Sam's rejection. It’s almost heartbreaking, which is a testament to Jensen's acting, as well his and Jared's chemistry and ability to make these guys seem real. In just about 45 minutes, we are invested in these characters and their relationship. Jared does a good job with Sam, too. We can clearly see his conflict; he did have fun hunting with Dean, it’s clear that he had missed Dean, and I think a part of him wants to stay with Dean. But Sam is stubborn, and more than that, he has built a new life for himself, a plan. Still, when he offers that olive branch when they’re saying goodbye, of him and Dean hanging out some time soon, I believe that he wants to, but I’m not sure if either of them believe it will happen. It’s actually sad to think they are going their separate ways, and we’re already rooting for them to stay together.

Finally, the episode comes full circle with Sam finding Jess on the ceiling (not pictured above because it just creeps me out, like with Mary), the fire, Dean saving him again by pulling him out of the fire, and Sam picking up his father's mantel of vengeance. At this point, Dean has been fully established in our eyes as Sam's protector, and Sam has been established as our doubly tragic hero who is now on his own mission for revenge.

FINAL THOUGHTS: One last thing that I forgot to mention above that I love about the Pilot is the humor that runs though it. It’s not uproariously funny or anything, but it has nice doses of humor throughout. A good amount of this comes from Dean who is established as a funny character, but funny moments also come from a lot of the brothers' interactions. Their squabbling and backhands, or digs on each other, add a nice bit of realism and lightness to what could otherwise be an unrelentingly dark episode. I love how this becomes an established part of the show later, I think starting especially in Season 2. In later seasons, though it does get a little too heavy handed for me on occasion. I think it’s ultimately a big part of what mane Supernatural different. That and Sam and Dean's general unhingedness regarding each other.

Regarding Jess, as much as I like her character and believe Sam would have eventually returned to hunting regardless, now that Dean is back in his life, I think it makes sense that she dies here, giving him that push. It gets them going on the hunt more quickly. Also, I read somewhere that the writers had toyed with having Jess be possessed. I’m truly glad they never went that route. I think it’s much more poignant that she was just a good person, who Sam loved. It’s more tragic, more painful him him to lose her as she is in the Pilot, and it’s ultimately a more pure relationship.

At the end of the episode, we are left with a lot of questions to speculate on, and even more that we want to find answers for. This, besides establishing the characters, is just about the most important thing a Pilot can do. It leaves us curious and wanting to know more. Would Sam have seen Dean again if Jess hadn’t died (yes)? Where is the dad? Why is he leaving them coordinates, instead of just calling or texting them? When are we going to see him again. What is going to happen to Sam now that he’s lost Jess in this way? What will this mean for the brother’s relationship going forward? What killed their mother and Jess? Why? What other kinds of scary crap are the boys going to come up against?

Will we find some of the answers in Season 1, Episode 2, Wendigo (I mean … mostly, no)?

Well, this ended up being way longer than I planned, so if you made it to the end, thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to comment or reblog with your thoughts on the episode!

To be Continued …

… in Wendigo, Part 1, coming soon-ish …

#Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #sam and dean #Supernatural #Rewatching S&D #The Pilot #My Thoughts #My Edits #Jared Padalecki #Jensen Ackles

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orionsangel86 · 4 years

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I’ve been thinking a LOT this morning about this comparison that keeps getting drawn between what meta writers are saying now about 15x20 and Destiel and the JohnLock Conspiracy(TM) and aside from just linking you all back to THIS POST by @winchestersingerautorepair which explains it all perfectly anyway, I do feel the need to stress some very clear and very glaringly different points that basically prove outright that this situation is Not That.

1. We already have confirmed Canon Destiel. The romantic feelings are confirmed in text. Destiel is canon. Arguably currently textually unrequited canon (yeah right) but it IS canon. It’s also Word of God canon. Basically, where we currently are is actually more canon than even Aziraphale and Crowley ever were. You can NOT say the same for JohnLock.

2. The JohnLock Conspiracy was all about how the actual final episode of the show was a “fake” bad finale, and how they would release a secret finale which would fix everything and make JohnLock canon a few weeks later. There was zero actual evidence of this anywhere. (Sorry JohnLock shippers, I feel for you I really do, but I just couldn’t ever see any evidence that the secret good finale was ever gonna happen.)

In contrast, we haven’t seen the Supernatural finale yet. It actually is next week. This is FACT. 15x20 is not a figment of Destiel shippers imaginations. We really do have one episode left which hopefully will give us everything we wish for.

3. All of this comparison has come out of meta writers saying 15x19 was written like a finale. We are calling it a finale and that’s why for some reason we are being mocked and compared to the JohnLock conspiracy... but... did those people who mock us not watch 15x19?!? (or at least get a plot summary and watch the final 10 minutes like me).

I can’t speak for my own opinion on the episode being bad, as I haven’t watched it. I have seen reactions both saying it was bad, and others saying it was good, or funny, or “so bad it’s good” but like, whatever. The point is, it WAS a finale. It was the episode that wrapped up the mytharc plot, had a callback montage to brother best moments and had them driving off into the sunset together now they are finally free. Like??? Call it whatever you want, but that was a finale.

Which is WHHHYYYY its SO WEIRD that there is still one episode left. What could POSSIBLY BE OUTSTANDING?

4. So yes. the FACTS are that UNLIKE Sherlock, Supernatural DOES have two finales. This isn’t some conspiracy. It’s a fact. We can joke that 15x19 was the “bronly” finale, but however you wanna see it, that was a finale. 15x20 can only be the long epilogue. The episode that wraps up the entire show. The episode JohnLock shippers dreamed about.

I really don’t mean to rub salt in the wound either. I don’t wanna insult anyone who believed in the conspiracy at the time, because hope is a funny thing that can have devastating effects - believe me, I know. But mocking us and trying to say the two are the same thing is just... wrong.

We don’t know how 15x20 will play out. But we do know the following FACTS:

Chuck is defeated. The big bad is gone.

There are no raised stakes anymore

the brothers are free (textually they confirmed this)

Jack as the new God, has fulfilled Castiel’s prophecy that he would bring about peace and balance to the universe. It’s done.

There is no story left concerning any of these big plot points.

BUT

Castiel is still in the Empty

Sam didn’t reunite with Eileen

Dean hasn’t said a damn thing about Castiel’s textually explicity confession of homosexual love for him

These are literally the ONLY things left to wrap up. There is NO WAY that the finale is going to be just a brothers road trip, growing old together, meeting random women, having kids and saying “Castiel Adam Jack Winchester you are named after the bravest men I know” kind of ending! It would be UNTHINKABLE for Dabb to do that.

I am seriously rubbing my temples on this whole thing because there are still so many naysayers that are pissing me off - particularly certain wannabe SPN writer BBFs who steal meta from Tumblr and pawn it off as their own “journalism” spewing crap all over Twitter about the matter because they have super secret insider knowledge from people who worked on the show that confirmed Misha isn’t back.

Oh Misha’s not back you say? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you. Everyone knows he went back to filming. He confirmed it himself over and over again until the CW finally panicked and told him to shut his damn mouth and change his story. These are the same people who have been feeding rumours into fandom for years to misdirect us. The same people who probably convinced KNOWN DESTIEL SHIPPER and SPN writer Meghan Fiztmartin to laugh at, deny, and mock Destiel shippers on Twitter literally only a few weeks before IT WENT CANON. They are doing everything in their power to put us off the scent. They don’t want us to know Cas is back because the ENTIRE ENDING RESTS ON CAS COMING BACK AND IF WE ALL KNEW IT WOULD BE SPOILED. DESTIEL IS THE ENDGAME THEY DON’T WANT SPOILED.

This is not anything like the JohnLock conspiracy because we have actual facts to back it up. We have all the evidence, we have all the logic, the narrative is BEGGING for the love story to be wrapped up. Dean MUST use his words and tell Castiel he loves him. Even the General Audience at this point can see that. So I beg you, stop mocking us for something you don’t know anything about.

If there is ONE THING you should trust right now. It’s the meta writers. We are the ones who have been telling you for YEARS that Destiel is a thing. That there was writer intent. Hell, we even predicted Jack would become God in the end (like seriously anyone with any understanding of literary analysis could see it was going that way). Mocking us after we have already been validated by canon confirmation of the DeanCas romance is just idiotic at this point.

#breaths #okay that became a rant #destiel #supernatural #spn endgame #15x20 #15x19 #the johnlock conspiracy #wank for ts #fucking twitter #im not even on it right now and im still getting drip fed

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rizlowwritessortof · 3 years

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Riz’s Master List

Just updated my master list (finally) - haven’t added anything new for a few months, unfortunately, but I’m working on it! Links below the cut. HUGE THANKS to @firefly-graphics for the dividers, you are a GIFT, my friend!

Never Look Back

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 21 chapters

Bethany Rae Cooper didn’t realize when she met the Winchesters in her family’s bar and grill that her life would never be the same. But she’s always believed that everything happens for a reason, even if it’s not exactly what you were expecting…

The Shadow’s Edge

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 17 chapters

Sequel to Never Look Back. When the demon Dameon was killed, Dean and Beth thought their son was safe from the prophecy. But when Cas brings them news of the new battle for Hell, they realize that their war has just begun.

The Fine Line

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 34 chapters

An unexpected tragedy sends Devon down the dark path of hate and vengeance, but she will learn that things are not always what they seem…

Scars

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 10 chapters

Sequel to The Fine Line. Dean and Devon’s relationship has always been stormy - but can they work through the scars of their past to find each other again?

Stars In the Darkness

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 8 chapters

A crushing loss brings Dean and Sam to Sioux Falls, and ghosts from the past and present bring them across the path of Tiara, a girl they haven’t seen since childhood.

Dreaming

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 5 chapters

Dean Winchester has always been a bit of a thorn in Kelsey’s side - a very attractive thorn, but still… A visit at her uncle Bobby’s reunites her with the boys, and she begins having vivid dreams - about Dean. Is it just her subconscious trying to tell her something? Or is there more to it than that?

My Unimportant Little Life

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 11 chapters

Season 5 timeline. Dean gets yanked from 2009 to 2014, so he can see the ‘consequences’ of saying no to Michael. At Camp Chitaqua he meets Reggie, and is surprised to find that she comes from 2009 as well…

Back In the Saddle

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 10 chapters

Dean and Sam are back in the old west again - in answer to a cry for help from Samuel Colt. And if Dean just happens to get tangled up with the spirited redhead that owns the saloon… what’s the harm, right?

Sweet Escape

Dean/Female Reader, 2 parts

What happens when a friend jokingly does a spell at your birthday party to bring your cardboard standup of Dean Winchester to life? This one’s dedicated to my friend, Liz, who gave me the idea. If only…

Sweet Escape Part 1

Sweet Escape Part 2

Shut Up and Drive

Dean/Female Reader, 2 parts

Reader teases Dean while he’s driving, so - he gets even

Part 1 - Keep Your Eyes on the Road

Part 2 - Or We Could Park - Parking Is Good Too

Take the Long Way Home

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 8 chapters

A look at Dean and Rusty’s relationship, in the present and through their memories. Flashbacks/memories are in italics.

Black Velvet

Demon!Dean/Female Reader, Dean/Female Reader, 9 chapters

You and Sam are broken after Dean’s death. Nobody expected him to come back with black eyes…

Fade to Black

Dean/Female Reader, 11 chapters

Sequel to Black Velvet. Dean is no longer a demon, but he’s still cursed with the Mark of Cain, and the lure of that darkness grows stronger as time goes on.

Dean and Toby Series

Part 1 - The Meet-Cute (Actually Rescue but Whatever)

Part 2 - The Emergency Bed-Share/Move In With Us Combo

Part 3 - The Hit and Then Run Like Your Ass Is On Fire

Part 4 - The FINALLY Admit Your True Feelings and Get Busy

GENERIC

I’m Good

This is the story that was published in the Seasons - Supernatural Short Story Anthology in 2017. Bobby sharing some memories.

Combo Shot

Dean/Female Reader

June 2015 GIEPP (Girl In Every Port Project) entry. Prompt: Pool/Poker hustler competitive chick. Pretty much pure smut.

A Hunter Walks Into a Bar

Dean/Female OC

Prowling hunter, sassy bartender

Shelter

Dean/Female Reader

Dean providing comfort

That’s How It Should Be

Sheriff!Dean/Female Reader

They have to make a fast escape, but Dean won’t let being on horseback stand in the way of showing a lady a good time

The Storm

Dean/Female Reader

You’re terrified of storms, and Dean is concerned, feelings get shared

Pest Control

Dean/Female Reader

You think you’ve got mice. The exterminator that shows up is Dean Winchester. He’ll just let you believe that, and take care of the problem. And you.

Happy Birthday, Baby

Dean/Female OC (KK)

Fluffy, smutty birthday fic written for a friend

Gunpowder and Dean

Dean/Female Reader

You’re pissed off at Dean, taking it out on the firing range, but he just won’t leave you alone…

Juicy and Delicious

Dean/Female Reader

My entry for Dean’s Flavor of the Month fic challenge - Peach Pie. You bake some peach pies for Dean, and he’s very grateful…

Lost In You

Dean/Female Reader

A casual flirtation leads to a violent encounter, and Dean’s reaction is a little more than you expected. Warning for brief description of attempted (unsuccessful) assault. Protective Dean.

What You Need

Dean/Female Reader

You’re watching as Sam and Dean prepare to interrogate a demon. Dean knows you’re watching him, and he knows exactly the kind of effect it’s having on you…

Santa Claus Is Coming Tonight

Dean/Female Reader

Dean’s really getting into the Christmas spirit…

I Need You

Dean/Female Reader

You screwed up, Sam got hurt, Dean’s pissed and you aren’t handling it very well.

Snow Day

Dean/Female Reader

You and Dean, stuck in a motel room in a blizzard

Frisk Me

Dean/Female Cop Reader

You’re a cop, in hot pursuit of a murderer, and guess who crosses your path?

Comfort

Dean/Female Reader

Dean had a rough hunt, and he’s beating himself up as usual. You take his mind off things for a little while…

When I Think About You

Dean/Female Reader

It was a wild hunt, and you’re both a little high-strung. Surely there’s some way to blow off some steam…

One Finger

Dean/Female Reader

Dean Winchester has never been one to back down from a challenge

What Makes You Feel Alive

Endverse!Dean/Female Reader

The world is bleak, the struggle endless after Croatoan. You and Dean do what you have to do to keep going.

Sweet Misery

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

My entry for Bev’s Song Challenge - song prompt was Cryin’ by Aerosmith, lyrics at the beginning

Winchesters Don’t Giggle

Dean/Female Reader

A friend and I were having this discussion about giving Dean a back rub, and whether he might be ticklish…

Confession

Dean (Priest!Dean)/Female Reader

When Dean returns from some undercover work, you discover a fantasy you never realized you had

The Bait

Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @jessica-bones-winchester’s (now on her 100th url as @cavillanche - Love you, Jess!) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. The prompt was ‘dressing up as an anime character for his birthday.’ And I have to admit, I really enjoyed this one… Reader dresses as Sailor Mars (from Sailor Moon) for Dean’s birthday.

Hey, Man - Nice Shot

Dean/Female Reader

This is for @jessica-bones-winchester’s ( @cavillanche ) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. The prompt was ‘competitiveness in the shooting range (loser cleans the kitchen for a week) No smut.

Take the Pain Away

Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @jessica-bones-winchester’s ( @cavillanche ) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. Prompt was ‘him taking care of you when you’re sick.’ Reader falls victim to a migraine, and Dean helps her through it. No smut.

Lose Yourself

Dean/Female Reader

Smut, pure and simple… Just imagine having Dean tied up, at your mercy while you worship those perky nipples…

The Contest

Dean/Female Reader

Dean loves to give you a hard time, and one night he pushes things a little too far… Flashback in italics. All’s well that ends well.

Slow Ride

Dean (Bullriding!Dean) /Reader

Yeah, after 12x11, y'all should have known this was coming - they don’t call me Cowgirl for nothing… Written (coincidentally - timing is everything!) for the Smut Apocalypse (Smut Appreciation Day) on Tumblr.

The Photo Booth

Dean/Unnamed Female OC - Dean’s POV

This was written for @winchestersandwordprocessors SPN Valentine’s Fic Challenge. Prompt was Semi-public/Risk of getting caught.

Make You Mine

Dean/Female Reader

Dean’s jealousy gets the best of him, which is not a bad thing…

Take a Chance

Dean/Unnamed Female OC - Dean’s POV

In 7x04, Dean gives himself a little pep talk before his planned hook-up with the bartender. That scene is what inspired me. This one is more important than the usual one-nighters, and it’s making him a little nervous…

If We Don’t Make It

Dean/Female OC

This fic was written for @whispersandwhiskerburn Angel’s 2K Follower Celebration. My song prompt was “Broken” by Lifehouse, and the dialogue prompt was “If we don’t make it out of this, I need you to know…” No smut.

My Deliverer

Dean/Female Spirit - Her POV

Dean is hunting a vengeful spirit. But another spirit is in this place, and she is drawn to him…

Friendly Advice

Dean/Female Reader - Dean POV, Reader POV

This was written for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog Mimi’s RomCom Fluff Challenge. The fluff got a little smudged into smutty fun… oops! Two POV’s, Dean’s thoughts are in italics and Reader’s are in regular font.

Old Times

Dean/Female OC

Sequel a few years down the road from A Hunter Walks Into a Bar. Tiara goes back to the bar for a visit, and who should show up the next night but Dean Winchester… Flashback in italics.

You Can Leave Your Hat On

Dean/Female Reader (nicknamed Taz)

Inspired by the sexy AF Cowboy!Dean we were treated to in 13x06 Tombstone. Helped along by Joe Cocker’s rendition of “You Can Leave Your Hat On.“

Wish Her the Best

Dean/Female OC - Dean’s POV

This is an angsty li'l fic inspired by Thomas Rhett’s ‘Marry Me,’ tore at my heart until I finally wrote it. No smut.

A Matter of… Time?

Dean/Female Reader

This is the crackiest piece of work I’ve ever written - for @percywinchester27 Ana’s PJO Quotes Challenge. Prompt was “Don’t you ever feel that way? Like you could do a better job if you ran the world?” - “Umm - no. Me running the world would be kind of a nightmare.”

Demon Seed

Demon!Dean/Female Reader

Demon!Dean stops in for a drink and decides he wants you. He’s very persuasive. Written for @evansrogerskitten’s Hottest Dean Challenge.

Not Wasted Now

Dean/Female Reader

When you all decide to get drunk in the aftermath of a bad hunt, lines get a little blurred. Or crossed. Or fucking erased. Fluffy, smutty, comforting, sweet and sexy Dean.

Bad Guy

Demon!Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @eyes-of-a-disney-princess Rapunzel’s Tangled Up With Supernatural Challenge. My Tangled quote was “You want me to be the bad guy? Fine, now I’m the bad guy.”

Shiny

Trucker!Dean/Female OC

Trucker!Dean AU. Breaker, breaker, got your ears on? 67 Midnight Rider, put that hammer down…

Some Kind of Hero

Dean/Female OC

Written for Tiff’s WTF Challenge. Dean’s just filling up Baby, minding his own business, when he hears an argument and gets involved. Protective Dean, no smut, left that to your imagination.

Crave

Dean/Female Reader

So, have some ‘Riz is craving some sexy Dean action with a big ol’ side of schmoopy fluff’ stuff. Because I was, and I’m sharing with you - the smut and all the sickenly sweet cuddly that I just need sometimes. If y'all are in the mood for that kind of thing.

Perchance to Dream

Dean/Female OC

Using African dream root on a case leads to an awkward situation, and Karlie can’t handle the tension between her and Dean any longer

Ruined

Dean/Female Reader

Dean comes home from a hunt, and he’s had something on his mind…

Going Home

Dean/Female Reader

Written for @crispychrissy’s Gif It To Me Challenge. Overhearing only part of a conversation sends her running, but jumping to conclusions without the whole story isn’t the best decision. No smut.

Not the Smartest Thing

Dean/Female Reader - Reader POV

Only Dean Fucking Winchester could turn taking a swig of beer into pornography. Cocky bastard. But two can play at that game.

Suzy Q

Dean/Female OC - OC POV

Written for @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan’s Multi-fandom Follower Celebration Challenge. Prompt - “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

Invisible Touch

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Rowena teaches Dean something new, and he gets inspired. I have no idea where this came from, but here it is…

Maybe I’m Amazed

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

An accident leaves her unconscious and fighting for her life in the hospital, drifting in and out of awareness and memories as Dean refuses to leave her side. Written for @rockhoochie’s 1K Love Supernatural Style Writing Challenge.

Reunion

Dean/Female OC

Passing through town, Dean runs into an old high school classmate. Fluffy and smutty, no angst here!

Playing With Fire

MOC!Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Late Season 10 MOC!Dean smut fic that just wouldn’t leave me alone…

Uninvited

Michael!Dean/Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Michael gives Dean a choice, because sometimes Michael likes to watch…This one is darker than my normal, PLEASE heed the warnings.

What Happens At the Roadhouse…

Early-Season Dean/Female OC

Bailey’s just looking for a couple days post-hunt R&R at Harvelle’s - and then he shows up. Cocky bastard.

Unleashed

Post-Purgatory Dean/Female OC

She’s still struggling to cope a year after Dean disappeared in the explosion that killed Dick Roman.

The Pool House

Dean/Unnamed female OC

Inspired by a dream - one I will never forget!

The Break-In

Dean/Tara (female OC)

One night I started thinking about what it would be like using mics and earbuds and having Dean’s voice RIGHT IN YOUR EAR. And then this fic happened. Hope you enjoy!

Tired of Missing You

Dean/Journey (female OC)

This is one of those times when my story yanked the wheel out of my hands and I just went along for the ride. So if you’re in the mood for a fluffy, angsty cookie with a smutty, creamy middle - here ya go!

Compelled

Dean/Brandi (female OC)

Have you ever had a really bad day at work? I’ve never had a day quite as bad as Brandi’s - but damn, I’d love to use this method to relieve the stress…

The Devil Made Me Do It

Demon!Dean/Shea (Female OC)

Shea is in a reckless mood. Demon!Dean is happy to help her indulge that mood.

Driving Miss Baby

Dean/Reader

Dean decides you need a driving lesson in Baby.

Just a Little Story About Lou and Sam

Sam/Female OC

Lou and Sam walk into a bar… written for a friend who’s a Sammy girl

Doctor-Patient Relations

Sam/Female OC

One-shot inspired by The Born-Again Identity - sick Sammy and Dr. Nicole. Written for another Sammy-girl friend

Head vs. Heart

No title

Fourth of July

Working Saturday Isn’t So Bad

11x17 Drabble

Some Nights He Dreams

Most of the Time

The Name Game

God Bless America

Stress Relief

Dean Hurt/Comfort Drabble

@mrs-squirrel-chester ‘s Album Fanfic Writing Challenge Drabbles

Dangerous

For My Brother

In Chains

Kiss and Tell

The End of Me

Choices

Hero

Pure

In the End

#riz's master list #updated 6/12/21 #dividers by firefly-graphics

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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years

Note

ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸

YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!

Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy

you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*

ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT

YEAH

Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways

i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.

I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it

i would not say no to this

heyloo bee anon here

um- wtf is happening?

jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared

because supernatural is never dead <3

okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃

true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it

WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??

LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE

Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real

bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf

I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO

we would always end up here <3

Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚

yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'

ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,

THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS

YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP

Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon

you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)

longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:

Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit

well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE

bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.

- 🍯

and WHAT a great one it was

I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢

lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??

Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj

god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip

short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)

thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!

I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢

i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon

well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo

Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??

-🍯

yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already

J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon

please, we're having a ball in this bitch

I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??

i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure

want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.

DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3

rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞

i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)

What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon

yep yep essentially djfhs

“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”

I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.

-poker face anon

next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo

ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon

you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!

hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!

AGREED

So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.

Anyway thoughts.

I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).

🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️

As for the Jensen and J*red thing.

I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.

- 🐌 anon

the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.

#frog anon #bee anon #peacock anon #subtlerainy #honeymoon anon #bestie mutual #honeypot anon #turtle anon #butterfly anon #tea anon #ladybug anon #anon anon #poker face anon #puzzle pieces anon #snail anon #good lord i think i got more anons about this than about anything else before lmao #good luck to anybody who actually reads this <3

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canonconspiracy · 4 years

Text

Choices (Jasper Hale x Reader)

AN: This one is a...little different, and I’m honestly not sure where to place it on my AO3 or Wattpad yet, so it’ll be a tumblr exclusive.

Fandom: Twilight - SPN Hunter Reader

Pairing: Jasper Hale x Fem!Winchester!Reader

Warnings: Combat?

WC: 1779

Choices, decisions you made on your day to day, had been much different when you were a Winchester. You thought that moving to Forks, Washington would have taken you away from everything, but your brothers knew as well as you did that the monsters don't just stay away. Not only had you fallen in love with a monster, but you had been targeted by another.

You would never call Jasper a monster, nor any of his family. They were good vampires, vegetarians as they would call themselves. Though you knew your brothers wouldn't understand your choice of paramour, they had been hunting while you grew closer to the Cullen family. Finding yourself growing closer to them, you had also found yourself growing close to a young woman named Bella, one who had made the same decision you had. She had chosen to be with Edward, and now the two of you had been driven out to a hotel far, far away from Forks.

The tracker changed his course, and within minutes, decisions were to be made. Had you been thankful that you had your hunting supplies with you? Of course, as you watched the brunette making her way past Alice Cullen and her mate, you knew the only decision that was to be had. Though the Cullen family had never seen a hunter in action, they were about to. Everyone was about to.

Following the woman out, taking a taxi cab to the location that Bella already mentioned, had not been difficult at all. Dead man's blood, a machete, and a plan formulating on your side was what you needed. There was a human in danger, and she was endangered by a true monster. Everything about this set up had trap written all over it.

Moving with stealth, you saw the moment that the monster, James, had Bella pinned against the wall. He was clearly cocky, talking down upon the woman as he pulled out a camera. Surely he had not expected a human to jump into action, nor had he known a lick about what dead man's blood did to a vampire. The syringe had taken mere seconds upon sneaking behind the vampire to administer to his neck, before you moved to pull the brunette away from the male.

"What did you just do to me, you bitch?!" He clamored, his voice shrill as he moved to grab the aching in his neck. The ache burned, acidically eating away at the immortal as he screamed. It took seconds for him to move his red eyes back to the two of you, a glower in his gaze. "You're going to pay for that."

"Bella, go!" You exclaimed, moving in front of her as you made some distance between the human and the vampire. "Come on, fangs, let's dance."

His movements had been slowed from the aching pain coursing through his body, the dead man's blood seeping through his veins. Though he came at you at a decent speed, you still found yourself dodging as you wielded your machete, soaked in dead man's blood. Each strike you made to the man, though it had not wounded him more than a touch, still caused him to exclaim in pain.

"You're going to regret ever taking this chase," you growled, your body thrown back into the mirror behind you. The mirror shattered, and you were sure your arm had been bleeding, but you knew you had him on the ropes. All you could hope was that Bella managed to get out safely, as you charged back at the man. "I came to Forks for peace, not for this bullshit."

"Well, let me end your suffering," he chided back as he lunged upon you once more.

With a skillful strike, you watched as his head went tumbling to the floor. In that moment, watching the vampire drop to his knees, headless in front of you, a smile crossed your face. Your veins raced with the adrenaline of the kill, the adrenaline of saving the woman's life.

Your trek had not been over as you realized there was more steps to this supposed kill. Edward had mentioned in the car about how the limbs were to be severed, and the body to be burned. With a soft sigh, you glanced from the body, back to where Bella had been cowering wide-eyed in the corner of the room.

"You may want to look away," you warned as you readied your blade once more.

"I mean, it's a little too late for that," she said in a small voice as you moved to sever the first arm.

By the second, the two of you had not been alone, though you still finished what you had started. Your arm ached with each strike, but as you had the vampire in a pile, you could hear the floorboards being cracked clean off. The Cullen family moved to light the flames for you, while you stood back, wiping your brow.

"You took him down by yourself, Darlin'?" You could hear the southern drawl of Jasper in your ear. "Do you understand how dangerous that was?"

"I'm a hunter, Jasper," you said as you tucked your machete back into your bag, a sullen look against your lips. "It's in my blood, and this one wasn't nearly as bad as some of the monsters we've faced."

"Is that how you see me?" Jasper asked, his voice cracked as his lips curled to a frown. "My family?"

You shook your head, allowing your y/h/c locks to bounce as you did. Y/e/c orbs shifted to his amber eyes as you breathed out, "None of you are monsters. Djinn who feed upon humans, crossroads demons who kill for fun, even angels who simply see us as playthings, now those are monsters. Some humans are monsters, too, Jasper."

"I believe you, Darlin'," Jasper said with a smile, though his hand was placed against his face as he spoke. The scent of your blood was already getting too strong for him, and he knew he had to walk away from you. He had waited until Bella caught your attention to go by the others.

"What's a djinn?" You could hear Bella ask from behind you, causing you to cringe. "And angels, demons...those are simply religious folklore."

Sighing, you said, "I'd rather you believed that, but vampires aren't the only playing cards on the field. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a little shaken up," Bella replied with a reassuring half smile. Her smile quickly turned to a frown as she noticed your arm. "You're bleeding, though."

"I'm alright," you said with a reassuring smile, before you realized Jasper's presence had been replaced by Carslie.

"Let me see," he said in a soothing tone, holding his hand out for your arm. As he examined your wound, he frowned, before reaching in his pocket to bring what looked like a kerchief out. Wrapping it around your wound tightly, he continued. "You're going to need stitches, but it's not bad. I-I feel we should thank you for taking care of James. I'm impressed, and a little intimidated. How did you do that all on your own?"

"Dead man's blood," you said with a sheepish smile. "And technically, I got the dose in when he was too preoccupied with Bella. My machete is coated in the stuff as well." After a pause, you found your lips drop to a frown.

"I don't think I've even heard of that," he said with a soft chuckle. "Let's get you stitched up, though."

***

After your arm had been stitched, you realized that Edward had already taken Bella back to her home. She had been adamant in the car about apologizing to her father, and you couldn't blame her for going without so much as a goodbye. Beside you now sat Jasper, in front of you a nearly grinning Carslie.

"That should be all better now," Carslie confirmed. "And thank you again. Unfortunately, Victoria got away from us."

"Surely she knows I'm a hunter, if they had not already, and she'll come prepared," you said with a huff. "I'm willing to help any way you all need."

"Darlin', didn't you say you wanted to get away from hunting?" Jasper jested beside you, placing a chilled hand upon your own as he smiled. "Isn't that why you're out here?"

"I told my brothers I'd be getting away from the supernatural entirely," you said with a chuckle, "and I'm sure this is the opposite of what they expected. It's not like I can sit this out, though."

"Well, you're not wrong," Carslie chimed in with a frown. "She will likely be targeting you."

"I may be able to make a call and get a search party," you said with a sigh. "But that's a conversation I need to work up to with my brothers."

"For now, rest," Carslie interjected quickly, shifting his amber eyes from you to Jasper. "Make sure she rests."

"Come on, Darlin'," Jasper cooed with a grin against his lips, gently tugging your hand to get you to stand with him.

With a light tint of blush against your cheeks, you allowed yourself to be led out to the living room, and then upwards into the upstairs. Heading to Jasper's room, he motioned for you to sit on his couch, before curling up beside you. Stroking your cheek gently, he allowed you to lie against his chest, everything at peace.

"So, are you really okay?" He questioned as his hand moved to your y/h/c locks, gently stroking them as he felt your body calm.

"Here, in your arms, of course," you murmured with a smile against your lips, closing your y/e/c eyes. "My brothers have both tried to escape, at one point or another as well. The younger of the two, Sammy, actually had a long relationship with a demon while my eldest brother was in purgatory and I was rotting in hell." You allowed a chuckle to escape your lips. "So, honestly, this is the best I've felt in probably my whole life."

"I don't want to let anything like that happen to you ever again," he whispered soothingly as he stroked your hair. "I mean, we both sound like we have pretty colorful pasts, and you're, what, twenty?"

"Yeah, but I've died about three times," you replied with a shrug. "Time goes significantly slower in hell, so it could be speculated."

"Well, you're here now," he said softly. "And I'm not going to let you suffer through that ever again." As he spoke, he moved to press a gentle kiss against your head.

#jasper x reader #jasper hale #jasper whitlock #twilight x reader #twilight spn #crossover au #oneshot #twilight oneshot #supernatural twilight #winchester reader #tumblr exclusive

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artist-in-space · 3 years

Note

Did the final spn episode seem like a mockery of the show and the fans to you? I don't know what I expected from the finale but it wasn't this... :/

Hey! Let me preface this with I’m not actually a dedicated fan of Supernatural. I’ve watched like-- the first two seasons, snippets online of different scenes, and basically was diffused with information through Tumblr and Pinterest.

And I could still say: wow, just. Wow.

I didn’t think they’d go anywhere near that area. I mean. I predicted that it might be a little bit anti-climactic like... “okay one would probably die by a final battle” but hoo boy what was that

For shows like these, yeah. It is a mockery. It’s got a following that is so dedicated that it stuck by it for more than a decade, and they just ask for the bare minimum: a good story. Because the actors are definitely great at acting, and the effects are fine. Character relationships are always the foundation of a good story, because even if the plot goes off the rails, the characters make it tolerable.

And for all characters to just. Be like that? Anyone-- even a non-fan-- would see that there was something terribly wrong with the ending.

The fans asked for a good story, and-- whatever their reason they may be, we’ve seen all the jokes of homophobia and misogyny and incest and whatever going around-- it just shows that this... wasn’t it. This was a slap to the face to people who stuck by the series.

I remembered when they announced SPN S15, as a final season. A lot of people groaned and went oh no, not again, it would never end, how will they make it even worse, I hope they do something with the final confrontations but ultimately, they wanted the series to be laid to rest, peacefully.

This one? Oh boy. Not at all. This wasn’t GOT-- not a fan of GOT, but unlike the eight year-span, SPN had a decade and more. The characters were OOC, yeah, I read my dad’s frustrations when the finale dropped. Unlike GOT, there wasn’t any romance pushed (I love you being actually canon from Castiel and left...there) and there was no weird ending in heaven.

The way Dean died... that was so disappointing to me, seeing as he was my favorite character back then. To just die by that. You’d think after everything he’d die...by, I don’t know. Old age? Or the series just doesn’t go the death route and leave it open-ended? I wouldn’t even mind an Inception ending where we just guess what happened and we’re doing our own interpretations. But no, somehow SPN went to....the wtf ending.

I expected the finale to be bland. To be weird. But to end in death in that way especially for Dean, make a weird way for Sam to live and go old, not even Castiel appearing (after all that importance he brought to the series, you’d think he’d be part of it, right?)-- it’s like they read every fan’s wish and decided, hell no. Let’s not make any of those happen, and instead we’ll make it worse.

It’s decidedly like Sherlock S4, but not really because you could see the degradation from S3 if you’re keen on it, then S4 came in swinging and went ‘let’s destroy everything, but here’s them in the end taking care of a baby :)’ so there was “consolation” for the whole Holmes-Watson friendship break thing. But Christ, SPN looked at that and went “let’s destroy the hearts of everyone in this series, give the fans something so fabricated and hopeless where “everyone” is just happy that they’re dead.

What a weird way to end a series talking about Free Will and hope throughout their run, and anon, my god, I hope you go through a period of self-care because that was SUCH a bad ending.

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toxicsamruby · 3 years

Note

1/7 MM okay gotcha gotcha. I was thinking about this on a smaller scale, where i don't think discussing racism in supernatural should be "fun and interesting" (phrase you used in your original post that rubbed me the wrong way b/c [hot take] I don't think racist tropes reminiscent of the Birth of a Nation and the policing of poor black communities are fun and interesting. they're horrible. but, like you said, we shouldn't shy away from horrible things), but no yeah i get what you're saying about

2/7 people showing the same enthusiasm, willing participation, and depth when talking about this stuff as w/gender&sexuality. I agree with that AND it's important to keep in mind, especially with a fanbase that's largely white, whom these analyses are for and who is writing them (b/c a white person's racial reading isn't the same as a bipoc's). But, again, that's on the smaller scale, which appears to have more to do with personal accountability and discussion norms.

3/7 AND i also get what you're saying about using the entirety of supernatural to examine "american attitudes about the Other" and how that needs to be broken down in ethnic/racial/culture identities just as it is with queer indentities and yes i agree. as for the marketing/monetary engagement thing, i may have been speaking out of turn there because i don't know a ton about marketing or audience appeal and i also wasn't invested in all the spn meta/BTS stuff until recently.

4/7 what I said was purely my observations of the very specific 'spn renaissance' tumblr circle, which appeared different from the, say, twitter circles that pay for merch and whatnot (again, this may not be accurate, it's just from what i've seen). HOWEVER, that being said, if we're speaking specifically about the long-term, /larger/ cultural impact supernatural has, I 100% agree that it needs to be recognized and condemned as a racist and all-around patriarchal show. I did forget that spn made

5/7 so many headlines about both queerbaiting and having a queer character or whatever, and the same headlines need to be made about how it treats bipoc and other minorities. Although supernatural is a mess and considered cringey and a dead horse, it still holds a significant amount of power and (at least some) reputability in media. and this is all despite its misogyny and homophobia and cisheteronormativity (this is the case for so many shows, not just spn). I guess i was just concerned about

6/7 'ok, what if mainstream starts having these conversations about racism very specifically in a way that normalizes it and makes it seem hatecrime-but we'll-allow-it,' so now we have this monster of a show that KNOWS it's racist but doesn't really care. But it's equally as terrible to not point it out. But it doesn't matter anyways, because the show is over now, and it's not like they're gonna give reparations to the actors they killed and the people they hurt. your point about us having these

7/7 conversations (in a way that does not make it seem like like fun ideas to ponder over) being the only thing we CAN do to lessen the power the White Narrative of Supernatural (both meta and in-text) really resonates, and i hadn't thought of that but i totally agree. in other words lmao, fuck this show

yeah “fun” might’ve been the wrong word choice for all the reasons u gave i really didn’t mean to trivialize racism as a discussion and i see what u mean especially w how people have responded to the homophobia of supernatural me included like saying oh its homophobic but its funny so it’s fine and ur absolutely right that we Cant allow the discussion of race to go the same way (and honestly ur intuition was right bc in the tags of that post theres white people saying we SHOULD take it as lightly as the homophobia). so yeah the phrasing was my bad

but my general point stands. like i personally find it really fulfilling and interesting to talk abt how supernatural (and other fiction) replicates these american ideas about the Other bc supernatural is a FASCINATING microcosm of american culture (and of course in part bc i Am an american other)! and that post was mostly in response to how white fans seem to shy away from these extremely complex and interesting conversations bc they consider discussion of racism a chore like something they Have to do so they can say “it was bad that they killed off kevin tran. see i engaged critically! now back to the meta that relates to Me and My experiences”

and of course the analysis that becomes generally accepted and talked abt by fans shapes the actual presence of the show in pop culture. so we should do our best to write good and thoughtful and compassionate analysis of EVERY aspect of the text, especially one so deeply embedded as the race element.

basically yeah ur right and i think we pretty much agree. fuck this show! thank you for sending me these messages by the way im glad we could talk this out :)

#i think this might actually be the most productive conversation ive ever had abt a piece of fiction lmfao #asks #crit

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kirathehyrulian · 4 years

Photo

🌻SPN SummerGen 2020🌻 ✨Bewitched By Sammy✨

[• SummerGen •][• 2020 Masterlist •][• Ao3 Collection •] (Please do not edit/alter. Feel free to reblog, but please do not repost. At the very least please give me credit.)

For: @transgendersam Prompt: Anything where Sam is trans and a witch and it's not overly tragic. Summary: Witch trans!Sam taking a nightly ride through the sky on a traditional broom with her owl familiar.

Psst, don’t forget to check out the masterlist for more gen goodies from this year’s SummerGen creators. And, as always... Enjoy, if you can!♥

For more art from me please check out my “myart” tag here on Tumblr. 👇 (Artist Notes below the cut) 👇

Artist notes: Click the image, then Right click, and click view image, for better quality. Crap, it’s been too long. I know I said I’d make them later, but I didn’t anticipate the long wait for some reason. Now I forgot, what I wanted to say here.

I just remember that ever since I’ve seen Sam’s season 10 haircut I just wanted to draw Sam Winchester in a 1950′s dress someway or somehow, but I never got around to it. Everybody talks about how pretty Dean is, but I know Sam can do pretty. So this prompt got me one step closer to that goal. And, I knew my prompter really likes this theme.

Last time I drew witch Sam I gave him a fox, but this time I gave her an owl. I didn’t think about it being an Athena thing till Amber pointed it out. I was mostly I was thinking of trying to incorporate soft, feminine, and magical.

I don’t know if anyone has any questions about the work, feel free to ask. I’ll try to remember the answer.

I did make a second gift for my giftee to fill another prompt (because I felt bad that I only answered/focused on one prompt) but, I didn’t know that the only way to give additional gifts in an exchange is if it’s a continuation or pair to the first gift. If that makes sense. And, my second gift was a separate gift on it’s own.

But, I fully intend on uploading it, even though it couldn’t be apart of the main event. I just had to wait to give it, because uploading to my tumblr before the reveals would have given me away. So, stay tune for more!♥

#sam winchester #sam winchester appreciation #spn art #spn fanart #artists on tumblr #powers!sam #witch!sam #tagging for the squeamish #trans!sam #myart #spn events #2020 #spn summergen

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kitkatwinchester · 4 years

Text

So...considering we’re on the home stretch of the greatest show of all time--a show that has been a huge part of my life for the last eight years--I figured now was probably a good time to start doing reactions and reviews. I’ve seen a lot of Tumblrs do this, and I want to join in on that.

So basically, I’m gonna start by just doing a bullet point list of reactions as I go. Fair warning, I get very excited and very into this show, so the list’ll probably be pretty long. But hopefully you enjoy it! And, even if you don’t, this gives me something to look back on years down the line. XD

Also, my mom is watching it with me, so I might include some of her reactions/our discussion in my list too!

And, because I can, at the end of all of it, I’ll give a much more concise review/reaction based on how I feel after the whole episode’s over. Because why not. XD

Enjoy my watching! XD <3

Oh we’re starting!

...did I miss the “then” title card?

Oh wait there it is.

Dude we’re going FAR back on this “then”. I wonder what that means?

My poor baby crying again. :(

DEAN’S APRON OH MY GOD I’M DEAD! XD XD <3 <3

“It was. In the 50s.” Point taken.

My poor baby. :( :( :( :(

Oh so killing Amara is officially a plan? Okay then.

“I’ve killed Hitler.” I can’t believe he’s still talking about that! XD

Actually I can believe he’s still talking about it, I take that back.

DEAN WITH THE MARIO BROTHERS OMG!!

Okay, I know this episode has something to do with them celebrating holidays because of a fairy or nymph or something like that, and this is already feeling like a light-hearted, fun, domestic Winchesters episode. I hope it stays that way. <3

Have you tried turning it back off and turning it on again? Hit reset.

HE READ MY MIND!

MEAT MAN!! XD XD

Ummm...okay then.

Also SCOOBY-DOO UNDIES!!! DEAN YOU DORK!! XD XD <3

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Jack is my favorite and Dean is my second-favorite.

“Language!” “That’s it I’m getting my gun.” XD XD

I can already tell that so many of my reactions are probably just gonna be me quoting and then laughing. XD

They don’t seem very concerned? Shouldn’t random people not be able to get in?

This lady is such a mom omg.

Mrs. Butters? XD

Wood nymph. Got it.

“Shouldn’t you be in the woods somewhere? Nymphing?” XD XD (P.S. That was my mom’s favorite line in this episode. XD)

You what now?

Necessities of life?

Hmmm….I like her, but she weirds me out. Something is off.

Dean’s “oof that’s awkward” face. XD

“2020.” Hearing that year said out loud just feels...oof. Just oof.

Poor nymph…

Wait, haven’t we seen those symbols before? Maybe I’m making that up.

HA! “It’s kind of been one apocalypse after the other.” He’s not kidding.

OOOOH!! HERE COME THE HOLIDAYS!!!

WAIT WHAT IS THAT TELESCOPE THING?

WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT??!! A MONSTER radar??!! Dude WHAT?! Man, they’ve needed something like that for YEARS!

Wait wait wait...relatively nearby….it’s not gonna ping because of Jack is it?? SHE’S NOT GONNA HURT JACK IS SHE??!!

Oh okay nevermind. Just a vamp nest.

Say what now?

We can...that just...umm...okay then??

“Heck...heck yeah.” XD XD XD

Yeah I’m with Sam on this one. She seems innocent, but, like…

Dean does have a point though.

But also things like this never last. It’s too good to be true.

MY BABY!!!

“She’s probably harmless, but just in case, watch yourself”?? Dean that was a terrible way to do that but okay.

Snickerdoodles. XD

My poor baby looks so lost. :(

I mean...Dean makes a good point there. But also the son of Satan is adorable and she’s suspicious. But anyways.

“Ignoring your trauma doesn’t make you healthy.” SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT OMG!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3

...Jack is hiding something? IS JACK HIDING SOMETHING?!

...do we know what Jack is hiding??

The only thing I can think of is that he knows about Cas’s deal with the empty, but he had a soul when that happened, and it wasn’t really eating at him then. Is it eating at him more now for some reason??

IS JACK HIDING SOMETHING??!!

Jesus christ this is gonna bother me…

Okay but when has that ever actually worked, Dean?

Awww….

I’m guessing they didn’t tell her he’s a nephilim? If they don’t really trust her--which they don’t--they shouldn’t. Is there a chance she knows already? I feel like she wouldn’t be acting like that if she did.

Vamps watching a movie with vamps. Classy. XD

...ew…

At least they’re drinking from bags instead of from humans I guess?

Nice slicing at the same time, boys.

Huh. Well. That was easy. Too easy?

CHRISTMAS! XD <3

THE TRAIN OMG!! XD XD <3 <3

Their faces. XD

HER DANCE!

Okay she’s kind of adorable not gonna lie.

“We are so keeping her.” XD XD

DEAN’S LITTLE EXCITED HANDS ON THE RAILING OMG I’M DEAD!! XD XD <3 <3 <3

If I can’t get adorable Jack right now, I’m okay with adorable Dean. XD <3 <3

Sam is still suspicious, but Dean is totally into it.

“Enjoy the world you’re fighting for.” That was really quick and so subtle, but d*mn that’s a good line.

MY BABY!!!!

HIIIII JACK!!! I MIIIIISSSSSED YOOOOOUUU!!! <3 <3 <3

Uh-oh. I don’t like the way she said “what are you”. DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY!!!

“He’s a millennial.” XD XD

DEAN IN THAT NIGHTGOWN OMG!!! I know it was in the promo photos, but seeing it in the context of the episode is even funnier. XD

Sam’s gagging at his bro’s “down there” bits lol.

Oof. She is VERY absentminded by Jack and whatever he is. No likey.

...hmm. I still don’t trust her with Jack.

“Poppycock”???

HA!! “I’m worried about your cholesterol.”

And Sam and Jack’s little smiles at that omg. <3 <3 <3

“We got one!” IS THAT A HILLYWOOD PARODY REFERENCE/GHOSTBUSTER REFERENCE??!! Because IT FEELS LIKE ONE!!!

The way they’re running to their rooms to get ready omg.

And that cut to them being dressed and going.

LUNCHES!! XD

Their faces! XD

The cinematography in this episode is AWESOME. Go Serge Ladouceur (and yes, I looked that name up. XD)

No crusts. Blessed knives. “I just waxed it.” She IS a mom!

Wait no. Take Jack with you. I don’t trust her with him.

“What shall we do with you.” LEAVE HIM ALONE IS WHAT!

Oh. They’re doing dishes.

WAIT DON’T TELL HER THAT JACK!

...I don’t like the way she’s talking to him.

Oof. Mary. *gags*

Jack you’re adorable and I love you but please stop being so gullible and stop sharing so much personal information.

WAIT NO! I know you feel guilty, but DON’T TELL HER YOU KILLED HER!

...dangat.

...oh. That was actually super sweet, and honestly the EXACT thing Jack needed to hear. ...maybe she’s not so bad?

...wait what? She just...pulls those out of thin air?

Ha! Another hunt

THEIR FACES WITH THE LUNCHES! ESPECIALLY DEAN’S!! XD

Aww! Thanksgiving! <3

Where is Cas during all this? Talking to his angel friends I guess?

That finger gun at Sam omg.

It’s so EASY for them wow.

Halloween! Fitting given our current season.

Their little smiles awww!!

THE BEERS TOGETHER HOLY FRICK!!! IT’S JUST LIKE WHAT TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 DID WHEN JACK CAME BACK! AND what the boys and Mary and John did in Lebanon! NEVER GETS OLD!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!! <3 <3

...I still don’t necessarily trust Mrs. Butters. BUT I LOVE SAM AND DEAN AND JACK!

Those faces for the lunches just get better and better.

GRENADE LAUNCHER!!

MJOLNIR OMG NO WAY!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE STILL HAS IT!!! THIS EPISODE HAS SO MANY EASTER EGGS OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Also that is an AWESOME shot.

BIRTHDAY!! Awww… <3 <3

OOF. Poor Dean. XD

Jack’s laugh and then immediately being like “oop” and bringing his head down but still chuckling when Dean glares at him I CAN’T. XD XD

I LOVE THIS FAMILY!! <3 <3 <3

AWW!! She made extra for him!

Okay, I like her. But I’m still cautious.

Oh. THERE it is.

What’s she doing??

Jack’s got you lady.

My mom is wondering why she has to walk away to make another smoothie when before she was just producing them. I’m wondering if maybe she has to near the ingredients to whip it into a smoothie magically, but that seems weird...continuity error?

Get her, Jack. My smart boi. <3 <3

My Mom: “You better hurry it up there, Jack.”

Oh it’s evil Men of Letters dude. NOW I get why we went that far back.

Oh! AND the Thule. NOW I get why Dean mentioned killing Hitler again. Wow. Nice connections on this episode all around. Go writers.

...she did what now?

WTF??!!

HOLY FRICK!!!

HOLY S*** HOLY S*** HOLY S***!!!

Do NOT ask about tea or cookies after you just pulled sh** like that.

On a more positive note, the way Jack just said “son of a bitch” out of nowhere like that is so adorable because he, like, NEVER swears, but also that’s Dean’s saying and it just proves that he’s taking after his dads and just already growing up and AHHHH I LOVE HIM!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Also Jack please go tell your dads what you found.

Okay so during the commercial break, my mom and I looked up wood nymphs and had this big discussion and here’s kind of what we came up with:

So we were trying to figure out if wood nymphs are supposedly evil, and we didn’t find much, but they do have super strength (which explains her ability to rip off that dude’s head…), and the ability to control wood and nature, which might explain why she can pull smoothies out of thin air.

So then we saw on the SPN Wiki page for this episode that part of the description mentions that the wood nymph would do anything for her family, and that makes me wonder if she has, like, ulterior motives to protect her wood nymph family? But also, she said the Men of Letters were her family, so that translates to Sam and Dean now, right? So theoretically, she wouldn’t hurt them, she’d be trying to protect them. Which means they should be fine, because she only hurts threats. But then my mom pointed out that maybe she considers Jack a threat and that’s a really good point, so now I’m worried all over again. She’s still acting weird with him, and even though I did like that little advice she gave about second chances, maybe it’s all an act? My mom thinks she, like, poisoned his sandwich or something with anti-nephilim juice in order to try to hurt him, but that was before she knew he was a nephilim, right? I don’t know. I think my mom makes a really good point. I hope my baby winds up being okay. :(

Okay. Back to the episode now.

Ahhhhhhhh noooooo. Where are the boys when we need them?

Wait, DATE?? EILEEN??!!

No. He isn’t. Go away.

Sam look at yoooooooouuuu. <3

But also please take a moment to notice how uncomfortable your son is and ask him what’s wrong please and thank you. (And yes, I will keep saying son thank you very much.)

Ha! She wants him to get a haircut just like Dean does. The joke’s about Sam’s (and, by extension, Jared’s) hair will never not be funny.

Ha! “Language.”

YES!! EILEEN!!!

YES SAM!! GO GET YOUR GIRL!!

DEAN! XD

Okay the Sam and Eileen thing is adorable, and Sam and Dean’s banter is hilarious, but guys...look at your son please and thank you. :(

I’m so torn between wanting Sam to just be happy and enjoy himself and wanting him to help Jack ahhhhhh.

Sam can go on his date. I’m sure Dean can handle it.

Roses! Nice touch.

Ha! Dean with the supportive big bro action.

Such. A. Mom.

“Boys.”

Wait nooooooo.

Okay but Alex’s acting right there...tip top. So subtle. Jack is trying so hard to be sneaky and warn Dean about what he saw, and the way Alex is conveying pure panic but also showing how sneaky he’s being is AWESOME.

Also that little “sh*t” or “da**it” or whatever it was that he mouthed? Somehow so cute and makes me so worried at the same time.

“The Dean Cave”?? XD XD

Dean I am BEGGING YOU, please take a cursory glance at your son.

...da**it...

The subtitles say “suspenseful music plays” XD XD

Wait Jack noooo. Don’t go after her alone! Chase Dean instead!!

NOOO!! NOT IN THERE!!!

She’s totally gonna trap him in there.

...what?

She’s being so condescending shut the fudge up.

What? No.

Does he still not have a soul? Is that what he’s hiding? That wouldn’t make sense.

Oh wait. I get it now.

HE IS NOT!!! SHUT THE FUDGE UP LADY!!

LADY STOOOOOP! HE DOESN’T NEED YOUR SH**!! HE ALREADY FEELS GUILTY WOULD YOU QUIT IT??!! :’( :’( :’( :’(

HEY! NOT COOL!

I HOPE SOMEONE RIPS YOUR HEAD OFF B***H!!

They’re not. They know he won’t now.

SHUT UP LADY!!

HEY!!! STOP IT!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

TAKE HER DOWN JACK!!!

He IS family!

...ummm...what??

GOD DA**IT!!

...my mom literally just said “told you so” about the poisoning. ...which also explains why she walked away to make another smoothie, because she WANTED him to find the video, says my mom. And yes, my mom was right, AND I HATE IT!! SCREW YOU LADY!! LEAVE MY BABY ALONE!!

It IS safe you B**CH!!

HE’S NOT A MONSTER!!! :’( :’( :’(

DA**IT!! DEAN PLEASE DO SOMETHING!!

Ha! He’s so excited about the sandwich and it’s adorable.

But also save your son!!

...wait what?

She’s...she’s really just gonna out herself like that?

Ha! YES!

Aww...Dean’s so disappointed. :(

BUT! He’s sticking up for his son! Because even if he’s mad at him for everything that happened to Mary (but also get over it, because she sucked anyways, Dean XD), of course he’ll still protect him.

Ha! The way he just takes it away…

Aww...poor baby. :(

He’s so disappointed. He deserves better. I feel bad for him. :(

HE IS NOT! SHUSH!

Aww...looking at the sandwich, but making the right call.

AWW! He’s trying. Best of both worlds.

Take the deal, lady.

DA**IT!!!

SERIOUSLY?!

SERIOUSLY???!!!

Screw you, lady.

HEY! NOT FAIR!

He is NOTHING like his father, thank you very much!

Well...now what??

Oh thank god, Sam’s home. He’s smart. He’ll find a way to get them out.

Her calling him Samuel is both hilarious and annoying, somehow. I think it’s only annoying now because I hate her with what she just did to my boys. XD

OOOOF.

She gonna out herself again?

Sam’s face when she said that about good news and bad news. XD

I suppose the benefit of having a bad guy who thinks they’re doing the right thing is that she’s not trying to hide it. So hopefully, if she outs herself again, Sam can deal with it a little better than Dean did, knowing Dean was not very successful lol. Dean let his love of her food get in the way. XD

She DID out herself!

Ha! “You were always the smart one.”

YES! Good job, Sam. Starting off strong. <3

YES! GOOD JOB SAM!! Nice manipulation.

Ha!

Can’t believe she’s asking about the date.

Actually yes I can. XD

Wait, why don’t WE get to hear about the date? I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE DATE DA**IT!

Well, DUH, Sam, you think they don’t know that?

Dean OMG!! XD XD

SUPPORTIVE BIG BRO!! XD XD

In Dean’s defense, he knew she’d wait for Sam, so...it’s not like they were REALLY in danger.

Do NOT try shooting her. Are you kidding me right now?

...really Sam? REALLY?! You’re going to try to SHOOT her?? You’ve seen what she can do, and you’re going to try to SHOOT her? She got the jump on JACK. POWERED UP Jack. Really? Call me crazy, but I feel like that’s not gonna work.

Yes. Yes he is. ...so much for Sam being the smart one.

I want to be mad at them for getting distracted by the holidays, but also I can’t exactly blame them given their childhoods, so…

Ha! The way they both react to the Boxing Day breakfast. Such brothers. XD

There ya go. Good plan. MUCH better than shooting her. Thank you boys.

WAIT WAIT WAIT!! Is this where we’re gonna get the “you sure this is gonna work” “let’s say yes” scene from the promo?? I THINK IT IS!! (Okay, so I MAY have watched that particular five second scene a million and one times because it had my boys in it, but I love them okay?? Sue me.)

Hey. Chill, Dean. Don’t yell at him.

Aww baby. :( :( :(

He doesn’t think you’re a monster. He’s just upset. :(

...uh oh. This convo is gonna be bad, isn’t it? :( :(

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

WAIT! “For a while” YES! THAT’S A GOOD THING!!

Oh wait. “Still am a little bit.”

“Evil Mary Poppins” XD XD

AWWW!! SEE JACK?! He DOES love you!! <3 <3 <3 <3

OKAY NEVER MIND THAT CONVO WAS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD!!! I need to break that down for a second.

That convo was short and subtle and to the point, but it says SO much about Dean and Jack’s relationship.

First of all, the fact that Dean decided to be honest with Jack instead of continuing to pretend everything’s fine shows how much he really does care about Jack and how much he still trusts him and loves him. He doesn’t open up often, and I’m glad he finally did.

Second of all, he may have been blunt, but there was so much affection hidden in the way he addressed all of that. I mean, he tells Jack that he used to be really mad, and he still kind of is, but then he reminds him that just because they’re in a rough patch right now doesn’t mean he wants to lose him. Yes, Jack made a mistake, and yeah, Dean’s finding it hard to get over it, but Jack’s family through and through, and that means that, no matter what, Dean’s going to look out for him. It’s the same way he treats Cas and, more notably, the same way he treats Sam. He’s giving Jack the family treatment. And THAT is a BEAUTIFUL thing.

All of that said, between all of the OG Team Free Will, Dean’s relationship with Jack will always be my favorite (probably mostly because they’re my two favorite characters, but also because they’re amazing together), so this convo makes me so freaking happy. <3 <3 <3 <3

Sam you are being not very sneaky.

SERIOUSLY SAM??!!

I take that back. Sam is not being smart about this. *eye roll*

UGGGGHHHHH.

WHERE IS CAS WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!

Actually quick side note, one that I’m adding now that I’ve finished the episode: not having Cas around TOTALLY makes sense. Explanation included in the review.

“Because you are my favorite.” XD XD XD

She shouldn’t still be making me laugh, but dangat she’s too funny. XD

Wait noooo. No torture allowed.

I KNEW IT!! I TOLD YOU!! I CALLED IT!! SCENE FROM THE PROMO!! XD XD <3 <3 <3

I LOVE DEAN AND JACK SO MUCH!! <3 <3 <3

Ha! Fixing his hands.

YIKES!

...but did the cuffs break at least?

HA! She actually converted him to not swear.

I love how Dean makes a point of swearing extra loud after he realizes what he did. I love him. XD XD <3

Oh frick, that didn’t break the cuffs? Are you kidding me? Stupid powerful magic…

OOH! Dean’s got an idea!

THOSE LITTLE SMILES I LOVE THEM!! <3 <3 <3 <3

OH SHUT UP LADY! Are you still talking??

...okay so...trauma.

Please listen to Sam.

YES HE IS SHUSH!

Just because he has blood on his hands doesn’t mean he’s not a kid. Just saying.

Okay so I kind of feel bad for her knowing what she’s been through, but also that does not excuse her behavior. However, I will take back what I said about someone ripping her head off. I suppose that isn’t really necessary.

That said, someone please do something. :( :(

WOULD YOU QUIT IT WITH THE FINGERNAILS SUPERNATURAL??!! I STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN OVER IT FROM THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE IN SEASON 3!!!

My mom and I are both turning away owwwwwww.

STOOOOOOOOOOP!!!

Jesus Christ lady!!

“Pain is just weakness leaving the body.” Dean what?! XD XD

HEY! Smart! Way to go you two!! <3 <3

And still helping his son up YES! <3 <3 <3

Okay that could not have been a more in character moment between Dean and Jack right there. Between the “not so bad” and the helping him up and the helping him walk down the hall and Jack just following him along and I just...I LOVE THEM OKAY!! <3 <3 <3

AHHH!! SHE TOOK OFF SO MANY FINGERNAILS JESUS!!

SHUT UP LADY!!

YES!

...Dean honey that was the reset button…

There’s no way that did the job. Too easy.

Problem not solved!! Problem DEFINITELY not solved!!

Creepy green eyes!!

Oh she looks maaaaad. That’s not good.

HEY!!! What happened to not hurting family??!!

LEAVE THEM ALONE!!

Which family??!! Cause YOU’RE the one destroying them!

No he won’t.

“You hurt him, you hurt us.” GREAT line!! YES SAM!! <3 <3 <3

Oooh!! He’s getting to her!! <3 <3

Oop. There’s our backstory. Mr. Cuthbert wouldn’t let her go back. Not that I’m surprised, given what he did to Dean all those years ago.

Yes. Yes he did.

YAY! Dean jumping in to save his son. <3

NICE! Good call, Dean! <3

THAT FACE!! Jack’s face!! <3 <3

YES!!!! YES!!! GOOD JOB BOYS!! <3 <3 <3

Awww….poor Mrs. Butters…

Okay now I feel really bad for her. And a little guilty that I called her a b***h. I’m still kind of mad at her, but...her motives make sense.

Hey yay! She healed him!

Wow, this nymph is POWERFUL. Now that she’s nice again, can we, like, actually keep her? Cause that’d be an awesome ally to have.

Aww...Jack being the one to voice their forgiveness. So pure, especially since she was after him all that time. <3

Awww….Dean wants her to stay. He’s so upset. XD

But he also gets it. :) <3

OMG!! That shot with all three of them looking at her and those sweet little smiles they give her as she’s talking about home. There was just so much...genuineness in that! I loved it! <3 <3

Jack being the voice again. <3

Okay, she looks hecka cute in that outfit.

Oof. That makes sense lol. It would be way too easy if it didn’t revert back.

...inter what now?

Oh shoot...that just proves Chuck destroyed all the worlds...lovely….

Awww!! <3 <3

Ha! Her little words of wisdom to them! To reiterate: SUCH. A. MOM. XD XD <3 <3

Sam and Dean’s smirks at each other when she tells them to do the same things they’ve been telling each other to do for years--eat your vegetables and cut your hair. XD

Awww….that little extra nose crinkle and smile at Jack when she tells him to save the world. <3

I also just realized that this breaks my theory that anyone who meets Jack instantly falls in love with him because of how adorable he is. Though, I guess she’s a little different given that extra little motivation to protect her family in the only way she knows how. Plus, trauma.

Oof. Bye bye extra magic.

Aww...this convo between Jack and Sam. <3 <3

Aww Jack… :( :(

You weren’t stupid, baby. You all fell for it. :(

Aww….he’s looking for faith from Sam.

And Sam just gave it to him. <3

I know the line seems desperate, and in a way, it is, but the way that Sam gave him a little smile shows that it’s more than that. They are desperate, and Jack is their only hope, but also, Sam knows Jack can handle it, because he does have faith in him. It’s a short convo, but it says so much.

That tin has a birthday cake for Jack, made by Dean. Calling it right now.

“He loves that apron.” XD <3 <3

I KNEW IT AND I LOVE IT OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THAT’S SO ADORABLE!!! And that is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT Dean’s way of telling Jack that he still loves him, and that he forgives him. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THEIR LITTLE SMILES!! <3 <3 <3

I’M SCREAMING!!! ALL OF THEIR SMILES AT EACH OTHER I FREAKING LOVE THIS FAMILY!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I SERIOUSLY LOST ALL FUNCTIONALITY JUST NOW TO THE POINT WHERE I’M ADDING THIS COMMENT LATER BECAUSE AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

AWESOME ending shot. It’s a great way to end a much more light-hearted episode while also setting us up perfectly for knowing that things are about to get heavy and serious. I bet whatever Jack wished for, it has something to do with taking on God.

Okay, so...those reactions were a lot longer than I was anticipating, and I want to apologize, but also, I did warn you. XD That said, review time!

I loved this episode! It was absolutely hilarious, but also sweet and touching. It mixed some crazy and fun moments with some of the most subtly emotional ones, both negative and positive. I absolutely loved all the Easter Eggs, and I loved watching the boys have a chance to celebrate holidays in a way that they never have before, especially with Jack. The facial expressions in this episode killed me. Between all of the little smiles and dorky excitement, I was laughing and smiling right along with the characters. Some stand-out moments/things for me:

That convo between Dean and Jack. I already broke it down above, but seriously, I love how they did that. As a huge fan of Dean and Jack and their relationship, the way that those two interacted this episode was beautiful and really sets up the fact that they’re going to need to lean on each other for support as a whole family in the coming fight, and I loved that. <3

Sam going on a date with Eileen! <3 Initially, I had a theory that Sam and Eileen would end up together at the end of all of this, but when she left a few episodes ago, I threw that idea out the window and it made me sad. So the fact that they went on a date and got to see each other again--even if we didn’t get to see it--makes me so happy and brings back my hope that they’ll end up being together. <3 That said, I am 100% going to write a fanfiction of that date, since Supernatural chose to keep it from us. XD

The acting really stood out to me in this one. Maybe it’s just because it’s been so long since I’ve seen them doing something new, but I honestly feel like J2 and Alex nailed it even more than usual. I mean, their facial expressions were seriously so amazing in this episode. Between the really dorky moments and the subtle emotional moments, I felt like their faces were always saying so much and I loved it. <3

One thing I want to address is the lack of Cas. I know a lot of people were upset that he wasn’t in it, especially since the boys were celebrating so many holidays with Jack, and while I agree that it would’ve been beautiful to have him there, it makes perfect sense that he wasn’t there based on the trajectory of the episode and everything that happened. For starters, if Cas had been there, the wood nymph business would’ve been solved INSTANTLY. Cas is always extra suspicious of people, so if she didn’t trust him because he was an angel, the odds of her getting the jump on him would’ve been slim. And yes, she did poison Jack with the smoothies, but, as this episode continued to point out, Jack is still a kid, so he’s still much more naive and gullible. Plus, he’s upset and guilty and confused and just generally vulnerable now that his soul is back, so it was easy for him to trust and be manipulated. But if Mrs. Butters had tried to do the same thing to Cas, (and I’m picturing that one scene with the milkshake in Peace of Mind here) there’s no way he would’ve fallen for it. More importantly, with how worried he is about Jack, he would’ve been really vigilant about the way she was talking to him and everything, and he probably would’ve caught the poisoning long before it could really hurt him. And you can argue that Sam and Dean probably should’ve picked up on it, which is true, however, even they admit that they get distracted in the fun of it all. While it would’ve been great to see Cas in on the festivities, he wouldn’t have been quite as distracted by it as the boys were, and with his vigilance, there’s no way any of them would ever have gotten hurt. He’d be watching Mrs. Butters like a hawk, and the second she did something suspicious, she’d be gone. That said, I can understand if people want to say that’s dumb, because if they didn’t want Cas to defeat the villain so easily, they shouldn’t have had a villain that could be so easily defeated by Cas, and I’m sure some people feel like that’s a stupid excuse. To which I also offer this. After seeing those convos between Dean and Jack and Sam and Jack, and knowing that the episode ends with the three of them celebrating Jack’s birthday, Cas’s absence makes even more sense: this episode wasn’t about him. I love Cas, but it didn’t need him. See, Cas already has an undying love for Jack. While Cas definitely saw Mary as family, he never had the same emotional connection to her that Sam and Dean did--for obvious reasons. But he definitely had--and still has--a very strong emotional connection to Jack. He’s always been the most involved in being Jack’s father--again, for obvious reasons. But even after the Mary incident, it was Cas who went to find him, who tried to help him, and who wanted to protect him. Cas always loved him and always trusted him, and he always will. But Sam and Dean lost a lot of trust for Jack after what happened to Mary...and this episode fixed that. Because Cas wasn’t around, it gave Jack a chance to prove himself to Sam and Dean again. Sam had already pretty much forgiven him, but Dean was definitely on the fence. He even says it. But the fact that Dean had that conversation with him and said everything he did proves that Dean still loves him, and it gave Jack the reassurance he needed that, while Dean is still mad, he doesn’t hate him, and he doesn’t think he’s a monster. And while Sam and Jack were on pretty good terms, Jack was still worried that Sam couldn’t trust him--that Sam didn’t have faith in him anymore. But when Sam tells him that he knows he can defeat God, Jack gets confirmation that Sam does still have faith in him. And after all of that, after celebrating all of those holidays together, and having both of those conversations, to then end that with Sam and Dean celebrating Jack’s birthday? That’s what this episode was about. Sure, it was a silly monster of the week episode. Sure, we got some adorable and hilarious moments. And sure, we got to see them celebrate things that they never got to celebrate in a real way before. But underlying all of that, we got to see Jack become part of Sam and Dean’s family again. We got to see them bond. And knowing that this is right before they all prepare to take on God--Jack needed that. The boys needed that. They needed to all trust each other again. And the fact that they celebrated his birthday at the end proves that they do. They’re a family again. They have each other’s backs. They trust each other. And they love each other. And as much as I love Cas, and as much as I would’ve loved to have seen him be a part of their holidays, he didn’t need to be. But those three did. And that’s why Cas wasn’t in the episode. So, frankly, full points to the writers for making that happen. While they gave us a fun episode, and they may have left out a fan favorite character, it created an underlying theme that’s really going to matter as we get into the big stuff of Season 15. And that’s awesome.

All in all, I thought this was a great episode, and I’m so glad that this is how we get to jump back into the season. Not only was this episode hilarious and fun, but it was also a great set-up for the coming battle and for all the hard and serious things that are bound to come in the next several episodes.

Rumor has it that this was the last “silly” episode of the show, and while that’s a sad thought to think about, it totally makes sense with what they did with the episode, and frankly, I think it’s a beautiful silly one to have ended on and a great way to lead into everything that’s coming next.

My Rating: 10/10

#spn #supernatural #spn season 15 #spn spoilers #spn season 15 spoilers #15x14 #last holiday #reactions #reviews #personal

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hawkland · 3 years

Text

Season 9 SPN - first half thoughts

Some thoughts now that I’m mid-way through Season 9 of SPN for the first time.

First and foremost: Human!Cas. Ah-hem. Hello, did the writers just take a peek into my brain to find the very essence of my id? Because this is SO ONE OF MY DEEPEST NARRATIVE KINKS I can, like, barely keep my eyes on the screen as much as I am loving it, it’s almost embarrassing how this gets to me. I mean, I’ve written “mega-powerful god or angel becomes human for love” several times already in other fandoms. I eat that shit up with a spoon.

Also, as a peri-menopausal woman, I probably have never related to Cas more than in this moment:

I want ALL THE FIC for it. It pisses me off we get deprived of human!Cas staying in the bunker with Sam and Dean. Just like we were deprived of (much of) Cas and Dean together in purgatory. Every time they set some good tropey shit up it gets taken away from us (because one or the other makes Very Bad and Stupid Decisions). AUGH. But at least there is fic. I keep telling myself that.

I am both glad and sad they gave him (stolen) grace back so quickly because while I could have wallowed in that for a much longer time, but it probably would have been bad for my sanity. Plus we also got to see Cas bloody, bound, and then acting as a bad ass bitch so...yeah. The fan service was very good for me in the first half of the season, oh yes.

But, goddamn it, KEVIN. I knew bad things were going to happen to him. Still, that sucked so hard.

Also, we will never speak of “Dog Dean Afternoon”. Ever again. I may not even let Mr. Hawkland watch it when we get to that point. (The only scene I found legitimately funny was the pigeon in the parking lot. The rest was pure cringe.)

Also I finally understand where the people shipping Sam and Cas are coming from! They were so cute working together in “First Born”, though I’m not sure how I feel about Cas’s confession scene & how he says he never really felt ... sorry for the things he did before he was human? Like...? To me that doesn’t really gel at all with what happened in Purgatory? And how he broke Naomi’s programming? Like... it was a nice Sam & Cas scene and I do see his human experience making for a softer!Cas, but I think that also negates so much of the growth/change we’ve seen in him already.

Maybe I’m starting to reach that point where I see the SPN writers contradicting themselves? IDK.

Anyway. This season really is all about Dean Making Bad Decisions With Good Intentions, isn’t it? I just watched up to him getting the Mark of Cain and dammit, Dean. DAMN IT. Why are u this way?

Oh that’s right, because of your shit-heel father. I didn’t really feel the pure hate for John that I see so much on Tumblr until I got to “Bad Boys”. But after that I really just wanted to punch him.

So that’s enough rambling from me because it’s Monday and I actually have work I need to get to this week. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#spn thinky thoughts from a new fan #hawkland watches spn for the first time #my complete obsession with Castiel let me show you it

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aceandart · 3 years

Note

Hey! I read your recent post and it read differently to a lot of posts under the destiel tag as of now. Personally, I’ve seen the first 5 seasons (watched it about 5 yrs ago), but haven’t been caught up to date on any of the recent stuff other than the Destiel apocalypse that’s happening right now. Could you explain the following?

“...mostly being this show is a misogynistic racist homophobic consent issue-ridden pile of bad writing “.

I was contemplating returning to the show and tuning in for the missing seasons, but what you said about it has now placed me on the fence. Could you elaborate and advise?

Thank you so much! I appreciate seeing an honest post that doesn’t sugar-coat or overlook bad writing/negative characteristics of a show!! :)

[re this]

Hi!

Well, I feel like the finale probably took care of any fence-sitting you were doing (and sorry I couldn't reply sooner), but actually my answer wasn't going to change even if the finale was okay (good, imo, was always a stretch): No, I personally would not recommend watching this show. and while my answer is mostly because of the things I am going to list to answer the rest of this question, I was also going to say - you dropped the show in s5 and that was five years ago? Whatever caused you to drop it in the first place, it probably got a lot worse. (It literally doesn't even matter what your major grievance was, they have since doubled, tripled down in terms of how bad it was.) Trying to marathon through ten seasons (20-23 episodes long each) is hard; trying to marathon through all of that to get something without a satisfactory ending is a lot of emotional labor for no payout. It's not just that this is a bad show (though it really, really is, on every level); it's that you have already tried it, you tried arguably the better seasons of it, and you still didn't want to stick to it. By the nature of how tumblr works, it can make anything look so much better than it is, just because in general the people you see hyping it up *like* the product, have decided to devote their fandom time to it, are highlighting the choicest parts of it. spn was always about the potential around the edges, the story fans made of it; the actual product was always secondary to the could have, should have beens, and this gets truer the later into the show you get. I'm not saying there weren't some great episodes, some great scenes, and even some great mini-arcs, but it was a drop in the bucket to everything else. and I'm positing this answer on the idea that you are asking because you want to watch the show, and not because you want to use the show as a supplemental for your fandom experience, but if it is the latter, I'll just say I'm currently heavily involved in reading fanfic for a fandom I've never actually watched a whole episode for, and while I'm probably missing some context I'm still highly enjoying it. fandom, honestly, so often becomes so much more than the bones we build it on. and if you want a little more, catch some "greatest hits" videos or catch up on just some of the “must-see” episodes and save yourself from having to watch all the moments in-between, because there are a lot more of them than the good parts. very few shows improve as they age out, and before the nov 5th resurgence if you weren't already following spn blogs, likely the main spn meme you were coming across was the annual 'salt and burn this dead horse' that went out after each season renewal. the tl;dr answer is really, it's not worth it. (to be honest, at the end of the day, despite the sheer amount of time, energy, and words I've put into this fandom over the years, and I put in a lot, I didn't actually like the majority of the show. so, you know, grain of salt on my opinion. then again, you left it seasons before I did.) That said, buckle up, cause now I'm gonna tell you why:

Literally, The Shitty Writing

I feel like the finale speaks for this point by itself, but before I get into all the "problematic" bad writing spn does, I want to talk about the fact that the writers are also just fundamentally bad at the craft of writing.

continuity errors. they’d change their lore/creature ability to fit their plot. (the reapers esp got the end of that bad stick.) the characters will often forget (monster-slaying) solutions that worked before (holy wood, yarrow, christo, creative approaches like exorcisms on recording, spells to remove angels from their vessels, bullet with a devil’s trap, etc). the writers forgot their own timeline more than once. the random retcons they'd do. sometimes it would also lead to plot holes.

which, speaking of, they had plenty of

there's also things that don't count as plot holes but are very large missed opportunities (ex: Dean spends a year in Purgatory and no one recognizes him? he doesn't bring up his daughter?)

I don't even know what this one would fall under, but if a character wasn't right in front of them, they would forget that character's existence. not just Adam (though that was a big one), but there were so many secondary characters that even in places it would make sense to mention them, much less bring them around, they didn't. or because they would not expand their main character list, characters who should have been around a lot more than they were (*cough* Cas, but that's an easy one, I'm also talking about characters like Kevin) would have these huge gaps between episodes that didn't make sense

they don't really have character development. this isn't to say the brothers don't change, they do, but at the same time the characters face the exact same (internal) arguments over and over again, never resolving or growing from them; they just have more examples when they think about them and it gets worse and more unhealthy because of the new weight added to it. the problem with their brothers only format, and the problem with their biphobia but more on that later, is that Dean wasn't actually allowed to grow out of his John Winchester's son role, to let himself be comfortable (and dare to be happy) with himself because that meant changing the story into something they didn't like and/or didn't know how to do. at the same time, allowing Sam to grow meant breaking the Brothers Only format, because as the show stated multiple times, Sam's happy ending did not involve hunting.

and with that, they sometimes flattened the characters so badly they became caricatures more than anything else. hell there's a whole season where Dean goes evil, and people had a hard time realizing it, which was not because it was a subtle slow descent but because shitty pacing, uneven (and contradictory) episodes, previous actions that weren't written as being evil but were the the exact same thing as when he was evil that were supposed to be "signs", and how they chose to represent that evil meant it was really hard to figure out that was what they were doing and not just writing Dean as more of an asshole than they previously were. (he's not evil, he's just a prick.) and I don't mean I had trouble telling, I mean fandom as a whole had major arguments about it, much less the general viewing public.

the series finale put a definite end to the idea they would follow through on even one of their main series themes (family don't end in blood, free will vs destiny, always keep fighting, etc), but this was something they would build up to addressing and then just anti-climatically let fizzle out in multiple seasons. character and relationship themes (not just destiel but the brothers co/counter-dependency, the importance of found family, Dean's growth from Daddy's Blunt Little Instrument and Sam's acceptance that he deserves better/agency in his own life, etc) would be built and broken down in an effort to drag the question out into another season. it wasn't two steps forward, one step back, it was a reboot.

their filler vs arc episode ratios: there's nothing wrong with the Monster of the Week format as a stylistic choice, but this show

a) would kill its own plot momentum to focus on MotW episodes. [part of this is the general spn problem they created of constantly trying to one-up their season's Big Bad, which I understand but also means one episode they are going against The Most Powerful Being in Existence (for the Fifth Time) and then rather than focus on that world-ending threat, they hunt vampires for like six episodes straight. they had a very bad balance where rather than continuously weave the larger arc into the season, or at least build characters and relationships, they'd jam it all around the season premiere, finale, and mid-season finale/premiere episodes, and then all the rest was just, bullshit cases where nothing got resolved or had a lesson stick around for the next episode, making them very skippable. also more on this under the homophobia section]

b) the filler episodes contradicted themselves and the main plot all the time.

c) sometimes they focused so much on making the b-plot a mirror they forgot to write a coherent a-plot. also: sometimes they focused so much on making the b-plot a mirror they forgot to write a coherent b-plot.

I cringed my way through more than one episode of dialogue

the recycled plots

more on this in the next sections, but either they didn't notice, actively didn't care, or purposefully chose to overtly and subtly imply or state a bunch of really fucked up things, and then never address them at all

speaking of never addressing anything, I realize this is a fandom vs canon battle in general, but so many things get swept under the rug as they move on to the next issue (ex: Dean put an angel in Sam's body to "heal him", violating his consent and exasperating his issue with telling what reality is - a huge issue from previous season - and once the Mark of Cain story really took over the subject gets dropped.)

death is so cheap on this show. and I don't just mean that the revolving doorway of resurrections means it's hard to get worked up about a death because (as long as the character was a white man and especially the brothers) there was a high chance they'd be back, and I don't just mean that their Murder Is the First, Last, and Best Solution to Any Issue, Ever means the faceless and not so faceless hoards of villains, monsters, and humans who get caught up in it are just hand waved as one of those things (they have ways of saving vessels and the later into the show the less likely they are to even try), but that there was no point in investing in (esp non-white, male) secondary characters because chances were they'd be dead pretty fast. I'm honestly shocked characters like Jody (who actually at one point was in the middle of being killed off on-screen and then we didn't see her for eight episodes, so we assumed she was dead) made it until the end.

(speaking of dead characters though, what was with the habit of bringing them back constantly? just don't kill them in the first place! create new ones and let those ones stick around instead!)

when they can't use death as their solution, the other answer the writers fall back on is Deus Ex Machina

buckleming were a writing duo who had their own bingo cards that included things like shitty pacing, OOC-ness, flat one-liners, etc, and the question wasn't if you'd get bingo, it was a question of how often you got it during their episodes. at some point throughout the show, it became hard to tell what was a buckleming episode and what was just another episode in the season. aka the writing quality went WAY DOWN as a whole

you know the tv trope Idiot Ball? or Idiot Plot? spn should have it's own page for both.

they constantly break viewer's trust, which is the basic tenet of what not to do when it comes to telling a story. (again, not just destiel, though the queerbaiting is a major part of it because it happened all the time to avoid actually answering that question.) when a writer violates their character's or story's core identity for a 'twist', it needs to have been carefully built so that it's a surprise to the viewer, not a betrayal. (you may not have seen it coming, but when you look back you can see the groundwork.) these writers, every time, chose the "shocking" choice regardless of how much they need to break canon or character to do so. their twists are either obvious, and/or they don't make sense with the rest of their story/lore of the show, and the viewer is left feeling stupid for believing they have more respect for the audience/characters than they do.

I realize this is pretty subjective, but huge swaths of it are just boring. fandom made the experience of watching it interesting, not the show itself.

and yet, for all of that, the quality of writing (while painful to have to sit through) was not the worst thing about it.

(note for the following: I stopped watching after s11, but I'm sure some if not all of these are still relevant until the very end)

Misogyny and Consent Issues: Is There a Limit? Signs Point to No

there is honestly so much under this topic I don't even know where to start. i'm going to focus on patterns rather than specific incidences, because otherwise I'll be writing this for a week, but just know I can easily provide examples of all of these because this is literally what I spent years writing meta on.

female characters were more likely to die quicker/earlier (esp vs other other male characters with similar reoccurring roles/characterizations), stay dead, and die often at the hands of their loved ones and/or in Stranger Danger situations. they died for man!pain. they died for fodder. they died as a sacrifice. they were turned into love interests (whether that was their original role or not) and then killed. they were put in mortal danger and then not given resolution for several episodes (Schrödinger's death.) they died in ways we've seen male characters survive. their deaths - the violence enacted on them - was constantly, consistently sexualized, and the camera lingered.

when it came to villains the show would go out of its way to kill the female one first, or act like she's the more pressing issue so that the male character could hang around longer (and honestly by male character I often mean specifically Crowley and the season's female villain. not only that but they'd often break canon to kill off a female character, and break canon to save Crowley/a male character)

when you compare the treatment of reoccurring female characters vs male characters who occupied either similar roles or characterizations, female characters were often punished and/or treated poorly for the same attitude and/or actions of their compared male character, who often got not just a (free) pass, but more screen time, dialogue, and development

they have more than once used the story line of underage girl seducing a grown man. (it was a whole season arc even.) this is esp galling when you find out about crew member Jim Michaels, who sexually harassed and assaulted (minor) fans

(btw, not the only crew/cast member to do so! and still be invited to cons!)

Dean Winchester (who is narratively treated as the moral judgement for the show) has blamed more than one rape victim for their assault/trauma. they often get abused (or outright killed) for stopping their abuser.

Dean is ok with flirting with/leering at barely legal teenage girls. already sketchy when he's 26, really gross when he's in his mid/late thirties

speaking of Dean. based on past personal experience I'm going to say up front people do not like me saying this, but that doesn't mean what I'm saying is wrong or even based on interpretations: Dean has more than one relationship that if it isn't rape, falls under extreme dubious consent.

there's actually a lot of rape (or "extreme dubious consent") and assault/molestation, both shown and mentioned: Cas and April, the cases were men take away free will and then have sex with the women (Ben Edlund was one of the better writers of series and even he did this a couple of times), Crowley orgy (and demon sex in general), random women in some episodes, Sam and meta!Gen, Becky and Sam, Sam and Lucifer, Dean and Alastair, several monsters (like the siren) and their victims, male characters secretly watching female characters undress/be naked, and so on. Dean was often attacked sexually by men, Sam by women. most of this is never addressed, never treated like what it is, and/or is made into a joke

and there's even more rape jokes beyond that, sub-sections: prison, vessels/demons, angel possession, sex work, childhood abuse, monster of the week, sexuality, etc. huge chunks if not whole episodes were devoted to making what amounted to a rape joke.

often ignored non-sexual consent (esp Dean’s actions, including a lot of mind-wiping and violations of body autonomy)

everything about Sam and body autonomy - he is frequently violated (multiple characters have possessed him; he is fed demon blood); how he feels unclean, how he feels disconnected from his own body, how he often is forced to act outside of his control and then blamed for those decisions

actually, Cas goes through that a lot too; he is trained, brainwashed, and forced to do things without his consent, and goes through major depressive episodes because of it

this show has a pattern of girls who are kidnapped, (sexually abused), raised in isolation, and expected to develop some perfect moral compass of acceptable behavior and were then killed off when they didn't. meanwhile, male characters get fourth, fifth chances.

female characters (and I'm talking about ones with speaking roles, who play an actual part in the plot, who are sometimes in multiple episodes) are more likely to be unnamed or given no last name

are you a Mother on spn (as in, that's your role)? you're either fridged for man!pain or abusive or both

it rarely could pass the bechdel test (including in s9 don't believe those fandom lies), and that's including episodes that focused on female characters. if the test included that the characters have to be named, that (small) number probably gets cut in half. if that test included both women are alive at the end...

female monsters prove they deserve to live by killing off their family to prove they're the "good kind" (this is not necessary for male monster characters)

female characters are not allowed to get vengeance

they took the Virgin vs Whore dynamic (and that that's all women are), and devoted a whole episode to it, but in general it underlines of ton of interactions, esp with regards to Dean and women. {I actually never got around to writing it, but women tended to fall into four main classifications on this show, though overlap definitely allowed: Victim [sub-categories: Fodder, (Dean) Mirror, Mother], Love Interest, Sex Object, and Villain/Obstacle. very few female characters were either allowed to outgrow their category or didn't start in one.}

we see the male characters assault female characters but it's okay because [insert supernatural reason here], ignoring that whatever explanations for why it's being allowed, we are still visually being shown this violence against women, and often from our "heroes" (the women are then tossed away from the narrative after the violence and again, their aftermath gets regulated to off-screen who cares)

female characters were only allowed to be "so badass"; female hunters often fought female monsters or they lost/got regulated to the sidelines in battles. this gets even more contrasted as a male character/hunter will often do a nod about how "badass" she is, even as she is very easily beaten.

the whorepobia of this show

had a tendency to strip female characters down to their underwear/make them nude before torturing them, and then adding sexualized torture on top of that

outside of actor injuries affecting this (like one of them broke his arm so he had a sling for a few episodes), female characters are often more likely to visually carry the bruises/violence of violent incidences much longer than male characters

gratuitous filming shots of breasts, asses

the use of the words: bitch, skank, whore, slut; the play on words they do so they can say "pussy"

taking female myths/figures and reducing them to a cheap, sexist storyline (Amazons, Artemis, Lilith, Eve, witches - who are only allowed to live/be "good" if they're men, and are otherwise in league with demons/are evil and lose)

they often kept a character but switched out her actress; helps with the disposable feeling

how they treat women's ages (ex: Jody is not allowed to be a love interest to Sam because she's older than him/calling Dean 'kiddo'. ex: Rowena is played by a woman fifteen years younger than Crowley's actor. ex: Amara being one of the oldest things in existence but still having to age her way up.)

their treatment of teenage girls, ranging from how they sexualized them to expecting them to save themselves to treating them like they are grown adults and not children to the way they kept killing the ones who posted selfies to the fact the pr more than once used the tag "teenage girls - the scariest thing ever" for Claire's episodes

actions and lasting legacies by female characters often got erased or passed on to male characters instead

it's a time honored tradition to treat certain monsters as metaphors for things. specifically for spn, they often use werewolves and vampires for sexual assault. (not the first to do so, not the last to do so.) however, that part of it gets textually glossed over, or treated as a joke, more often than not

and for all the patterns I talk about above, there's plenty of other one-off examples of misogyny/sexism or consent issues/rape culture this show did. like that time a grown man sniffed the bra of a dead teenage girl. not for any reason, just because it was there and that's what dudes do, apparently.

Racism: All the Flavors(+ Bonus Sexism)

when you compare the treatment of reoccurring white characters vs characters of color who occupied either similar roles or characterizations, characters of color were often punished and/or treated poorly for the same attitude and/or actions of their compared white character, who often got not just a (free) pass, but more screen time, dialogue, and development.

usually Black men but in general men of color:

a) got humiliated (often using feminization or infantilization) before their death

b) had a more violent death; had a death that visually echoed racism (lynching, shot in the back, etc)

c) often used (racialized) rhetoric that in the real world is used against them

d) often filmed in ways to highlight their physicality, to portray them animalistically, to dehumanize them

e) even when victims, will add context to make them partially responsible for their death

characters of color were the villains or antagonists, very rarely "good guys"

this was a very white show, and while I'm speaking about speaking roles, reoccurring characters, and characters who get their own arcs, I'm also talking about background characters

using lore from groups they should not have and/or turned creatures into racist caricatures

having white actors play characters they shouldn't have

heavily depended on stereotypes for their characters of color

the treatment (esp narrative empathy level) of white angels vs angels of color. again, screen time and character development differences between the two

a summary of (East) Asian woman on this show: fetishized porn/sexualized, “tiger mom”, Yoko Ono/The Girlfriend, monster. they were often silent or had no dialogue. microaggressions (usually spoken by Dean) were leveled at them.

antisemitism (styne issue, erasure of the Judah Initiative, Lilith, the golem)

like the sexism, just had random racist lines or visuals throughout the show (and sometimes those came in the absence of who should be there); some groups literally did not have enough characters to make a pattern, which is why this section looks a lot shorter than it really is

like for ex, I'm trying to stick with patterns but seriously, they put a Black woman in a dog collar and said her white boyfriend was her master/that she belonged to him

the ignorance of how white privilege worked to make them palatable

the replacement and/or elevation of a white character over a character of color (Lisa over Cassie, Bobby over Missouri, Charlie over Kevin in terms of how they were treated under Found Family, etc)

how they treated non-Christian Gods: easily killed, evil, weak. they often repackaged them into a Christian framework and made them lesser than.

Bi/Homophobia, Queerbaiting, and Using Fans

they butchered Charlie. they killed her, they killed her in a way that involved leaving behind plot, characters, and logic to do so, they killed her and used the violence of it for "shock," they butchered her and stuck her in a bathtub. the guy who wrote Charlie in every other episode (Robbie Thompson, one of the better writers of the show) didn't write her last episode (assumption: because he wouldn't) and then he arguably left the show over her death. at one of the cons (comic-con?) the cast literally turned their backs when a fan questioned Carver (the showrunner) about what he did because they wanted no part of it. there was a mass exodus of fandom after they killed her (and another portion actually hung around because they got destiel queerbaited to stick out the rest of the season, and then they left.) she was un-apologetically queer, she was found family, she was widely popular, and they killed her for no reason at all. they didn't just Bury The Gay (their only reoccurring one), they salted and burnt the ground

they spent over a decade queerbaiting Destiel. they built queerbaiting destiel into the structure of the show: season opening/first couple of episodes whetted the appetite, which they then backed away from (usually removing Cas from Dean's physical area) and around this time they'd usually have some kind of heterosexual love interest, then mid-season they'd have some room to be together and share feelings, Cas would again disappear but this time they'd have some bi!Dean thrown in to keep you going, a few episodes before the end they'd have a major connection moment (I need you, I love you), and then the season would end with something to keep destiel fans occupied with during summer. it was never a trajectory, it was a cycle; just enough for plausible deniability but more than enough for fans to believe in. they had whole seasons where the b-plot were mirrors for destiel. they tried to sell DVDs by promising destiel cut scenes. they'd remove Cas from huge chunks of episodes just because they didn't want destiel interacting in the same physical space. they filmed them (I'm talking camera angles, physical positioning, etc) romantically. (and sometimes, someone on crew/the network would accidentally reveal how not-fucking-happening destiel would be, and then backtrack when they realized fandom’s uproar.)

a) Dean was only allowed to care so much for Cas, the narrative would only give him so much room to mourn/miss him. (Sam too.) it's beyond my general complaint that the writers/bros lose all interest in a character if they are not right in front of them (if they even cared when they were), but specifically they will spend episodes talking about how Cas is family, how much they care, and then because Dean and Cas cannot share the screen they come up with asinine reasons to remove Cas, which means Dean/the bros do not help him on his issues, and he is cast adrift until they need him, a push/pull of show vs tell with contradictory answers but made a lot of Cas/Destiel fans argue Cas deserved better.

b) they also devoted seasons to the (subtextual) love triangle of Dean/Cas/Crowley. (I wish I was fucking kidding)

c) "you construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men": the way they use violence to supplement affection (which is actually a larger pattern with Dean and his loved ones in general, but specifically the show is willing to show - multiple times - Dean and Cas being violent (often with an arguably sexualized filming to it) in conjunction with or as replacement for expressing their care.) other side of this: hugging/physical affection outside of the shoulder/hand thing is reserved for escaping or coming back from death, if then (and it took seasons and a few deaths to even get that.)

d) "buddy"

that time Dean was allowed to be textually attracted to his mother and a literal dog (who was visually made to be very clearly a girl dog), but his attraction to men always stays subtextual and/or treated as a joke

they spent the whole show queerbaiting bi!Dean. aside comments, checking out other guys, getting flustered by men he finds attractive, metaphors, mirror characters, the heterosexual overcompensation [which is different from but comes from a similar place of the macho compensation to counteract how he gets sexualized/feminized], everything with Cas and how they play that relationship romantically and with sexual attraction, the character development that led to his relaxation of his macho compensation coinciding with increasing subtextual readings of his bisexuality (and domesticity), the inspiration for his name/character is bi, his relationship to Charlie and the pattern of fictive kinship, etc etc.

why are angels straight???? why do they have gender???? (why are they interested in sex???) minus the queerbaiting of destiel, they spent a lot of seasons pushing Cas into a heterosexual box. other angels were often pushed into heterosexual boxes too. (or left in subtext and then killed.) closest we got to playing with gender was Raphael and maybe Hannah, and at least with Raphael it was not without its issues. (also: both dead.)

random transphobic lines

homosexuality was often treated like a joke/punchline. queer characters/scenes were often treated like a joke/punchline.

outside of Charlie, queer characters were small, two-bit roles, extremely rare, and often killed

how they treated and showcased fandom space and esp queer fans in-show (much less how they treated them in real life), comes from a deeply sexist and homophobic place

The Show Was 328 Episodes Long And the thing is, these are the four big categories, but it's not like this is it. The show flip-flops on calling John an abusive parent/that the bros are childhood abuse survivors. The show doesn't even really call out when Dean is being abusive to Sam, and the way they always, always go back to the Brothers Only format means they are often ignoring or straight-up forgetting the unhealthy aspects of their relationship. The show ignores how their trauma builds (and all the things that happen because of it), disconnecting the current issues with the ones that came before. The way they flip flop on monster morality and never address what the winchester bros do to people who happen to be monsters but aren't evil (or definitely aren't as evil as they are). How violence is always the answer. How the "saving people'' part of hunting got dropped the later the show goes on, and red shirt vessels/hosts die in droves. Depending on how you view it, the way they treat alcoholism and addiction. The ableism. The line between the narrative's opinion on acceptable violence and not is inconsistent and dependent on how much they like the character doing the violence vs who the violence is being done to. Etc.

(The above lists are definitely missing stuff. I haven't done anything in this fandom in like four years, I've forgotten a lot.) I'm not saying people didn't enjoy this show. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy (parts of) this show. I'm saying whether you are basing it on things like writing craft or things like 'social justice issues', this show is bad. It is of poor quality. I really don't know how to explain the hold it has on people, how a show can be charismatic, how fandom was able to squeeze so much out of so little, but that's probably what's got you attracted into the idea of watching it again. If you're thinking of watching it because you want a coherent, well done story, look elsewhere. The finale was the literal last straw, not the only one.

#spn #fandom stuff #inbox and admin stuff #//#also this focuses on canon #(and ok a little abt the cast/crew)#(though among other things not mentioned is how actors of color and actresses got treated re cons & crew demographics)#however fandom has it's own fucking list and I can come for them at any time too #anyway that was a very nice ask #and if you want actual details about any of these I could provide #but I wanted to stick with patterns because I feel like that says more than the individual things they do #of which there are legion #anyway a summary of what I and many other people have discussed over the years about how much this show sucks #////#i really do get the urge though #one of my mutuals makes s15 destiel sound good #but fool me once shame on you and fool me 50x fuck you spn #//////#this is long (you asked a very wordy person) but tbh I've written longer meta #and oh man back in the day this thing would have been full of links that would have taken you to other metas #///////#eta: fucked up my formatting I had to add a) because bullet points wont indent

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polymolly · 4 years

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As much as I love to make fun of Supernatural these days (and for the past years) I am anxious that I have, once again, fallen for it so easily. All it took was one little I love you from Castiel and boom, I can’t think straight anymore.

Yes, I’ve been passing on things about Jensen being homophobic and the fastes bury your gays trope ever, and in a way I really believe it. But this is what it fucking feel like after all these years of being misleaded. You can’t really blame that on me or any of us who said that because this is what we’ve been treated like in the past.

I wasn’t ready to believe it a week ago and sure as fuck I’m not ready to believe it now. But this is coping. This is a defence mechanism. And I’m keeping up to it while at the same time I’m warming up to the possibility...

Cause the thing is, this show has been such a huge part of my life, that I can’t really stay indifferent to what is happening. And there’s still more to it somehow.

Because, you see, being part of my life as a cool source of fun is one thing, but it also was a pretty big turning point for me in realising I’m bisexual. Cause at that time there wasn’t many things to see myself reflected in, even if ever so faintly.

I live in Poland and I come frome a traditional family. We’re not really much of christians, but the catholic traditions are strong in here and tbh none of my SO wouldn’t even consider to question their identity or sexuality. My journey wasn’t THAT long, because I figured it all out pretty quickly as compared to some people forced to live in the closet, but it still took some time.

By that time I was already in a relationship with my current husband, so some of the possibilities and routes stayed shut to me, but that’s why SPN is such a huge part of it. More specifically - Dean and his relationship with Cas.

I started to watching it in my teenage years. I don’t really remember if I was 16 or 17 at the time... It brought me a lot of fun through the first seasons and I got a huge crush on Dean - I mean, who wouldn’t. At the time he seemed like a perfect dream of a teenage girl - badass bad boy, strong, manly, fierce, kinda goofy, with the exact amount of emotional sprinkled on top of it, just enough to show you that he cares, but not enough to make you question his masculinity.

But it all changed when Cas was added to the equation. I’ve also found tumblr at the time and it only went downhill from there. Suddenly there was something more in it for me. I wasn’t just attracted to Dean, I was kinda seeing myself in him. I saw the subtext served to us and I thought, wow, this is how I feel. This is how I felt for a long time, but didn’t really considered it to be a thing.

So, even though it seemed like a stupid thing, I’ve started rooting for them. Even though I was already in a relationship I thought that maybe if they become a thing, then all the feelings I’ve had inside me would be validated somehow. Because if Dean can be attracted to a guy despite all his life experience telling him otherwise, then maybe there’s a chance for me too.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my boyfriend and I love him still now that he’s my husband. I’ve never wanted to cheat on him or anything but you have to understand that we were really young back then. I hadn’t really had the time to think about it before because there barely has been any “before”. Everything that I was going through with my self-doubts and internalised homophobia was happening while I was already in a relationship. A relationship I cared for deeply enough that I didn’t wanted to end just to run off and explore my things.

So again, in a way, I’ve seen myself tied by the circumstances pretty much the way Dean was. I’ve seen myself reflected in him in more ways that I could imagine back then. And I wanted for him to go throught with all of it. I wanted to see him happy with Castiel.

And I’ve fallen for the queerbait way too many times.

But it’s been a long time and I’ve grown a lot since then. I know who I am now and I know my place and I know that people around me understand that. There’s no guilt in me anymore for feeling the way I feel. But because of that I decided I have enough of being baited.

It happened few years back when they’ve tried to recreate Dean/Cas chemistry between Dean and the Darkness. I saw what they were trying to do and decide this is the line for me. I’ve grown past seeking validation from them and I was burned out because of the failures that led to it. I stopped watching.

But here we are in the fucking year of 2020 and I’m back on that wagon even thought I should know better. All because I have such a huge soft spot for them both, and even after all these years I still want to see them together.

Is it yet another queerbait? Perhaps. Knowing all that happened before, it’s more than possible. Will it change anything if it’ll fail? Not at all. I’ll be a little sad, and probably won’t want to hear about the show ever again, but the lack of Destiel Endgame won’t really change anything in my life.

But if it’ll happen? That teenage bisexual inside of me will have the time of her life. And the adult woman I am right now will know that all the time and feelings I invested in that story once won’t go to waste. And it kida felt like it up to this point.

I get that for some it may not be enough to redeem the show, even if it’ll happen. But for me? Sure as hell it would.

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sakuwriteshere · 3 years

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I've been away from Tumblr since the final and all the drama because I could not stand to witness all the toxicity of the fandom, I once loved from the bottom of my heart.

The war between each sides was making me sick and I needed to step back a bit. I've finally came back a few weeks ago, blocking some kind of "fans" and using the filter in the tags, so I could enjoy SPN like I used to.

Then yesterday happened, and even though I'm the kind of fan who keeps it silent and don't share my opinion, I have seen so much hate within less than 24 hours that I wanted to say out loud what I think about all of this.

This is only my opinion, you don't have to agree with it. I'm not reacting to others' opinion on their Tumblr, so please, respect my opinion and do not react if what I'm going to say isn't in your liking.

First of all, I don't care about who is right or wrong between Jensen and Jared. What I see is two friends hurting, and people who had nothing to do with it, giving publicly their two cents on the matter. When I have an argument with my friends, I do it in private and I'll kindly say to whoever wants to be nosy, to just go f*** themselves. I'm tired of seeing people deciding to ruin a career, a life, a friendship just because their fav has been hurt, or because they didn't have what they wanted. I've learnt at a very young age that if you want something, you work for it.

Stop asking for public apologies, you don't even know both sides of the story. For people who happily and proudly shout how woke and understanding and empathic they are, they're truly quick to choose the role of the executioner instead of the jury.

Stop trying to ruin projects you're not interested in. You don't like Walker? Simply don't watch. You don't like The Winchester? Just don't watch. We're billions on this Earth, so stop assuming that if you don't like something, the rest of the world won't like it. And before, someone say that I glorify some stupid idea about John being abusive or whatever else stupid thought it is, let me just tell you that we're all different! I've haven't have the best childhood, and only realized it a few years ago. So, I know how difficult it is to live with one parent going through the loss of their other half, I know how hard it is to being an adult even though you're only a kid because your remaining parent is too broken to function and care for you. I WANT TO WATCH A SHOW ABOUT IT. If the network won't try it because they think it's not interesting then so be it, but I don't want people starting petition or other stupid things. You really want to make the world better? Then do some work! Go in associations, help the people in need, for real instead of signing a virtual paper, or twitting about it. I'm just tired of people buying themselves a "nice personality" on the web while they're not even lifting their little finger.

But I digress, all I want to say that, no one, not even myself, can say that we didn't make a mistake, and that's a good because it means we're human. And the difference between being a good person or a bad one, in my opinion, is if you're the kind of person to accept that people made mistake and go on, or just keep a grudge for the rest of their life. I've seen so much hate and mean words within the last 24 hours... I can't stand it anymore.

I want Jared to be happy. I want Jensen to be happy. I want to be happy....Again.

Sorry for my rant, I've been keeping all of this for months, I thought that maybe, just for once, I could use my personal blog to let it go.

#personal life #jensen ackles #jared paladecki #Where is my happy place?#my rants

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castiel-kline · 4 years

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More thoughts on 15x18, because I’m really struggling with it. (I have lots of feelings, and a lot them are Not Pretty)

Let’s talk about the issue of Cas’s “true happiness.”

First of all, “true happiness” was never in the terms of the deal. The Empty never said Cas had to be truly happy, it only said he had to give himself “permission to be happy.” That ain’t the same thing. I feel like “true happiness” is an unreachable goal. It’s a light at the end of the tunnel that you can never reach because it doesn’t really exist. You can certainly find it in little moments along the way, but it’s not an epiphany. It’s a process. “Permission to be happy,” on the other hand, can be manufactured. It can be, “I feel like crap right now, I hate myself and my life is terrible, but I WILL be happy about watching this movie or hugging my friend.” Example- I did this today. I’ve been in a funk after this episode (hello, crippling attachment to fictional characters!) but I went over to a friend’s house and I met her new dog for the first time. And he jumped on me and I laughed and I thought, well- I still feel like crap. I still have a lot to process. I still have deadlines for actual life stuff looming over me and spiking my anxiety. But I will be happy now for this adorable little fluffball and my friend who I haven’t seen in months. I gave myself permission to be happy.

And Cas in that scene didn’t look happy to me. He looked miserable. He looked like he was two seconds from shattering. We’ve seen Cas genuinely happy before- 14x08 comes to mind, when he laughed from pure joy at seeing Jack again. When he smiled at that little girl in early season 10. Hell, even season 6 Cas looked 1000 times happier when he went in to hug freshly-re-souled Sam than Cas did in *that* scene. When Cas is happy, there’s a lightness to him. It’s like some weight has been lifted. Cas in this episode wasn’t lightest when the Empty took him, but when he was talking to Jack. And that’s saying something because that was a fucking depressing conversation.

And the lines everyone is talking about- “What I want is something I know I can’t have.” and “Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

Oh boy. I saw a post today calling that toxic positivity, and it’s right. Cas basically said I Will Speak the Happiness into Existence Whether I Feel it or Not.

He also said “I wondered what my true happiness could even look like, and I never found an answer.”

First off, honey, true happiness wasn’t part of the deal. But he did say he never found an answer. Which means, presumably, that whatever was going on in this scene wasn’t true happiness. He just dropped the pretense of it, and gave himself permission to be happy at a very strategic time in order to take out Billie and stop her from killing more people. Dean, yes, but Sam and Jack as well. If there was a chance they were still alive, you can damn well bet that Cas was gonna take it. Because he’s a strategist. He was a soldier for millions of years and he commanded Heavenly armies. I feel like that’s not a job Michael or Raphael or whoever else would give to just anybody.

So what if what Cas wanted but could never have was happiness? And he forced himself to feel some so the Empty would come, and that’s why he was so “oh wow I love my friend.” And I’m not disputing that there’s love there. I don’t vibe with Destiel and I think something has got to be reciprocated before it can be canon, but whether it was platonic or romantic or something in between or something different altogether those two definitely had something going on. That is in no way an excuse for Dean treating him like crap for years, but we’ve all looked for the best in people, in things, even if they hurt us or disappointed us or really fucking pissed us off. Kinda like what I’m doing right now LMAO

And if you watch closely, Cas takes a fucking minute after he mentions Jack. He looked like he was in so much pain. His voice cracked when he mentioned Sam. In making the choice to sacrifice himself he was condemning himself to never seeing Sam again. Never seeing Jack again. And Sam and Cas love each other so damn much, and Cas loves Jack more than anything else. That was bound to be hard. Probably one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do.

So of course he focused on Dean. Because he loves him too, even though he probably shouldn’t sometimes, and he mustered up enough happiness for the Empty to come, and found some pride in himself and how he’s grown. I do believe he sort of accepted himself, and let go of some of his self-loathing at the last second. He cobbled together some last-minute peace. I’m proud of him for that.

But I think I hate it, in all honestly. I DESPISE it as an ending for Castiel. It doesn’t do him justice in the slightest. It doesn’t begin to be in that realm. It was a mess, it was poorly written, he felt out of character (the fucking disconnect from Cas in his scenes with Jack this ep vs. this monstrosity... whoa nelly. I have whiplash). But I have to believe that there’s something like this in there, or I will go insane. I’m far too attached to Cas to just let this go without settling on an interpretation that isn’t “gay angel goes to superhell.” Totally valid to cope with 2012 tumblr humor, but dear god am I really struggling with this. It was bad, but I need to take it somewhat seriously for my own sanity.

And he’s dead. He’s gone, probably permanently. And the knowledge of that alone is enough to make me cry (listen... Castiel has gotten me through some crap in my life. I MISS him) and I will forever be angry that his ending wasn’t even about him. So hopefully my analysis helped you a little bit, if you’re in a Cas-loving pit and clawing your way out like me.

I just think the timing of it was too perfect for Cas not to have been aware of what he was doing. It was too deliberate. And though I am all for Cas getting some kind of canonical queerness (even though all the SPN angels are technically canonically genderfluid/nonbinary/non-conforming, somewhere in that broad spectrum), I still think what he wanted but could never have was much more to do with himself rather than Dean. He really didn’t have to die, though, certainly not so terribly. I think I actually preferred his death in All Along the Watchtower. I wouldn’t trade late seasons Cas for anything, though, because (excepting this) he was rad. Killing the game. Dadstiel, Sam and Cas’s friendship- I loved watching those flourish in the late seasons. And everything I loved most about it was done so dirty. I’m just so tired. I wish I could mourn him without being angry and bitter at the writers.

#spn spoilers #kitkat rambles #i just really needed to get this out of my system somehow #lord knows i'm always going to love cas though #spn #don't mind me #spn meta #maybe

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fanficcollection · 4 years

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Tumblr-Girl (Part 16)

Tumblr – Girl (Part 16) Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: unique con-experience Word Count: ~2700 Warnings!: mentions of emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, violence, slight mentions of panic attacks

Notes: Please leave some feedback!

Part 1 Masterlist

Your PoV:

You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t believe what happened. Yeah, sure, you read something about the SPN cast and their bond to the SPNFamily, but… no… this couldn’t be possible. You stared, first at Jensen Ackles, who entered the room first, then at Misha Collins and then at Beck. “Uhm..” you mumbled. “Hi…” you didn’t know what to say and for a few moments the room was filled with silence. “We just wanted to check on you, since we probably caused this incidence yesterday with our surprise.” Jensen said and smiled. You felt your heart rate speed up and your face tuning bright red. *Calm down* you said to yourself. Beck shot you a smile and a glance that said “It’s okay. Take your time.” You took two more breaths before thinking about what Jensen said. “Thank you.” You responded and you still couldn’t stop staring until Beck pulled two chairs to them and offered them a seat. They nodded and sat down while Beck was sitting at your bed. “So, how are you, Y/N?” Misha asked again. Slowly you got back to yourself “Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a panic attack. I’m not that good with big groups of people.” You smiled “Thanks for getting me out there; Beck told me the whole story.”

“No, problem, really. It was the least we could do for you. When can you get out of here?” Misha asked. “Hmm.. I don’t know exactly. Maybe today in the evening, but I think the nurse said that they probably will keep me here until tomorrow, just to be sure everything is okay.” You didn’t say anything of the cramps and the flashback you had in the ambulance car yesterday because you didn’t want to look like a complete freak. Then you and Beck had a nice talk with the two actors. The initial shyness and insecurities were gone after a few minutes and you had a lot of fun, it was nice to chat with them about everyday-things. To be honest you never idolized actors, not even the ones of your favourite show, they were still normal people to you, normal people with a very cool job, but normal people, maybe this helped you to keep the conversation interesting for everyone. Jensen shared something about his family and about the time on set. Beck and you told them about your studies and how you met just a day before. You noticed Mishas glance on you a few times, but maybe he just wanted to check on you if everything was okay. You didn’t think a lot about that. Suddenly Jensens phone rang, he looked at it and just said “It’s Jared, I’ve to get that one.” Then he left the room picking up the phone.

Mishas PoV

When Jensen left the room, I knew this could be the moment to tell Y/N that I was Dmitri. I thought about how to tell her, but how? There was no good way into this conversation. There was silence in the room since Jensen left. “I guess you have to do convention things today?” Y/n asked and I slowly nodded. “Yeah, in the afternoon there are some things to do, but our panels don’t start until tomorrow.” I answered. “Then why did you get here yesterday?” Y/N asked. “I mean, you could have spent this two days anywhere, you never get this early on a convention.” I looked at her a bit baffled, like she read my mind and didn’t know what to say. “Sorry. That’s none of my business.” She backtracked. “I.. I’m just curios.” I thought about it a little longer, this was the moment to come out with my secret “No, it’s okay. It’s a good question. Uhm- We… no, wait actually it was just me.. So I had to meet someone here… uhm-I planned something for this I needed some time.” I shook my head. Why couldn’t I just come straight to the point. “I see… and Jensen and Jared just were some good friends who didn’t let you down on this…” Y/N smiled. “Well, yes.. but..” I tried again, but she interrupted me and said “It’s okay. It’s your private stuff, I understand that you don’t want to tell some people, who you don’t know about it.” She smiled again. No, she didn’t understand and I didn’t know how to correct this misunderstanding. “No…, wait… I-“ suddenly Jensen came back in the room. “Misha, I think we have to go.. They need us at the convention centre.” He said and I looked at him like he told me my mum has died. “I’m sorry, Jared was very clear about it. We have to be there asap.” He looked at Y/N and Beck “It was nice to meet you, Beck. Y/N, I hope you get better soon.” Then he turned to me “Mish, I’ll get us a taxi, hurry up.” After that he shot us a last smile and left the room. I stared at the door, then I stood up, I took my wallet and pulled two of my cards out, I didn’t really think about it, but in the next moment I just did what I had to do. I took one card and noted a short thing on it “This is my private phone number” I gave the card to Beck and then took the second one, also wrote something on it and gave it to Y/N “Call me, if you need anything, doesn’t matter what, you are part of the family now. We have your back. I have your back.” Then I stood up, took my jacket and left the room after one last look back. Y/N stared at me and Beck, her friend, also couldn’t believe what happened. I smiled and closed the door after me. That didn’t go like planned, but it wasn’t that bad. Jensen waited outside the hospital; he wore his sunglasses and tried not to be noticed. I was heading in his direction, but my thoughts were completely somewhere else. Was it right to give her the card or was it a stupid idea? When I reached Jensen, he smiled at me “She is really nice. I like her, man. Did you tell her, that you are your secret guarding angel?” he teased me and I had to smile about the reference. “Hmm. I really tried, but she didn’t understand.” I answered “She thinks I’m here to meet a woman…” Jensen raised his eyebrows “Well, I mean, that’s not exactly wrong.” He laughed. “Yeah… She thinks it’s another woman, she interrupted me, when I was explaining the situation and then you came back and.. Well… This was it, maybe its better like that.” Jensen looked at me and shook his head “I don’t know.” But then the taxi came and we tried to focus on the upcoming convention.

Your PoV:

You didn’t look at the card Misha gave you, you held it in your hand and after a few minutes of staring on the closed door, you put it in your note-book, which laid on the nightstand. “Uhm. Did this really happen?” Beck asked and stared at the card in her hand. You looked at her and nodded. “I guess he liked us. And he really trusts us not to be some crazy creeps.” You started to laugh and Beck joined in. “Nothing on the con could beat that.” She said.

The rest of the day flew by, you really were allowed to leave the hospital on the same day, in the evening and for a short moment you thought about attending the Saturday Night Special at the Con, you read so much about it and you really wanted to see it with your own eyes, but on the other hand you couldn’t risk it to pass out again und cause the stuff more trouble than you did already. So you went out for a drink with Beck, she said that she had seen the SNS a few times, it wasn’t a drama to miss it this time. You let the taxi driver choose the bar and he showed you a little bar, which was very nice and not very crowded. Perfect for having a little chat and enjoying some drinks. You stayed there for quite a while when suddenly a group of people arrived. “Hmm. It seems nice, the taxi-driver didn’t lie, this place is really an inside tip” somebody said and Beck turned around quickly “That’s Richard Speight and I think the others are the people from the SNS” she said “Y/N, I think this is the weirdest con-experience I’ve ever had.” Beck laughed, “like, how can all this happen on just one weekend?” You starred at the group of people and then back to Beck. “Uhhm. I don’t know what to say.” You stated and focussed on your conversation again, you felt like the cast deserved some private time, but just a few minutes later Rob and Matt stood in front of you “Hello, would you mind if we join you at your table?” Matt asked “The rest of the tables are already occupied..” Beck looked at me and I looked at her in the same moment, then we nodded “No problem, feel free to join.” Beck said and they put their beer-bottles on the table “Thanks. So, I’m Matt, and this is Rob.” Matt introduced himself and the smaller guy, he obviously thought you didn’t know them and with a sideglance to Beck you decided to play along. “This is Y/N and I’m Beck.” Said Beck and you smiled “Nice to meet you, Rob and Matt. So, what brings you here?” You asked them and Rob giggled “The taxi-driver, we asked him for a nice, little bar, so he got us here” – “Well, same thing happened to us.” Beck laughed “We are for… well, for holidays and were looking for a spot with less tourists.” She then continued. It was a very nice talk with Rob and Matt, some time later Richard Speight joined in and brought some beer for everybody. You laughed; they told you stories from their private lives, from their travelling together and some other stuff. You still couldn’t believe this actually happened, it was your very own con-experience and it was fantastic.

When you looked at your phone to check the time it was about 3:30 in the morning. You were getting tired and so was Beck and even the guys groaned from time to time. “I guess it’s time to head to the hotel.” You said in Becks direction, she nodded and you both stood up. “In which hotel are you staying?” Rob asked, when Rich looked at him pulling the eyebrow up he realized how odd this question was “Oh.. sorry.. I.. I thought… I mean, we are staying in a hotel as well… And I thought about sharing a taxi…” you smiled about Robs embarrassment and then told them the name of your hotel “I think it would be great not to get home alone, in the middle of the night in a unknown city.” You added and Beck agreed. “Nice, that’s really nearly next to our hotel.. So let’s go” Rich said and guided you and Beck outside the bar to a taxi. When the taxi arrived at your hotel you said goodbye to the guys “It was nice meeting you, we had a lot of fun” you said to them and they nodded. “Have a good night, you two. And don’t forget: You always meet twice.” Richard laughed and gave you a wink, then they closed the car-door and headed to their hotel, which was just a few hundred meters away. Beck was still smiling “This was honestly one of the best days of my life.” She said. “Have a good night, Y/N. Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow, I’ll pick you up here at about 8:00 a.m.?” – “Sounds good, have a good night, Beck” you hugged her and then headed towards the elevator, to get to your room.

The following Sunday was nearly normal, you had breakfast with Beck, then you walked around the convention center, but you didn’t try to watch one of the panels. After the closing ceremony, you watched it on a screen in the hallway, you went back to your hotel room to pack your stuff, you got yourself late-check-out, so you could use the whole afternoon for packing and thinking about the past weekend, it was kind of crazy, but it was the best weekend in your life so far. Then you thought about the journey home, coming home in your own apartment. Your stomach hurt, when you thought about meeting Jacob again. He wasn’t a fan of this trip, he liked you to be by his side, he needed you by his side, he said that every time you talked about this trip. In this moment your phone buzzed ‘Hey babe, when are you getting home today? Waiting for you here. Ily Jacob’ you smiled. He loved you, maybe he wasn’t angry about the weekend. Maybe it will all be okay.

---

After you said goodbye to Beck and you promised to visit each other you took your bus home, it was quite a ride, a few hours passed and it was dark outside when you arrived in your hometown. You texted Jacob your arriving time and he promised to pick you up at the station and he held his promise. He pulled you closer as soon as he got the chance. “I missed you, babe. You can’t do that to me again” he said and you could smell alcohol in his breath. “Are you drunk, Jacob?” you asked and he shook his head “I just had one beer, let’s go home.” He grabbed your wrist far too tight and pulled you to the car, there he pressed to the car. “I missed you, you know. Because I need you, I love you, you do love me as well, do you?” he said, not leaving any space for you to move. You nodded, but he wasn’t letting you go “Say it, babe, you love me.” He said again and forced you to look into his eyes “Yes, Jacob, I love you.” When he heard that, he let go of you and put your bags in the car. “Let’s go home, babe, you have to tell me how your weekend was.” He said and you got into the car.

In the evening you told Jacob some things of the weekend, but he didn’t seem that interested so you kept most of it for yourself. Together you watched some TV and then went to bed, it was late and both of you were tired so you just slept next to each other. The following days were quite unspectacular; you weren’t in the mood to unpack your things, so the backpack just laid there at the floor. Jacob was here nearly every night, you got used to giving him what he wanted. You hated the days he was in a bad mood so you tried everything to keep him happy. One morning, a few days later Jacob tripped over your bags, you hurried to get your things and put them away “Sorry, I should have put them away earlier.” You said, but Jacob kept quiet, “I’m so sorry, are you hurt?” you asked again and after you put away the rest of the backpack you saw that Jacob got something in his hand. “Babe? Who is Dmitri?” he asked and you could sense the anger in his voice. You didn’t understand, how…? “What?” you asked and Jacob looked at you furiously. “Don’t do this to me- Who is Dmitri?” he asked again and when you didn’t say anything he grabbed your wrist and roughly pulled you close. “I thought you loved me.” He then said and in the next second you felt a stinging pain on your cheek. You couldn’t do anything but watch when Jacob threw something on you, a little card or something, then he left the place. You sat on the floor. What happened? When the pain slowly went away you took the card Jacob threw at you. It was the card with Misha Collins phone number, you looked at it closely for the first time since Misha gave it to you, it was not just his phone number, there were two more words on it “Love, Dmitri”

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